#but it’s about Tommy it’s always about Tommy being too much like Eddie or not enough like Eddie or just Not Eddie

[inawickedlittletown]

We've Got A Long Way To Go (BuckTommy) 1/?

Summary: A few months after the break up, Buck picks up a call that changes everything. Tommy has his own regrets, and an unexpected meeting and a change in Buck's life will bring them together. Fix-it fic. Words: 1.9k Read on Ao3

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Chapter One

It felt a little bit like a punch to the gut to hear Eddie talk about moving to Texas. There had been a moment, in the days after Christopher left with his grandparents, where Eddie had been ready to take off after him. He just, never did. This time it wasn’t even just that Eddie wanted to go there to see Chris in person, he wanted to uproot and move. He was looking at houses, had already spoken to a realtor. The whole thing was already set in motion. 

Buck knew it was selfish to think about himself and where it left him because if Eddie moved to Texas then…well, then he’d be really alone. 

Not really. Except that everyone was busy with their own things and Buck…Buck was going to need to get more flour. Because if he didn’t, then he might finally give in and call Tommy and there was no knowing how that might go. 

Eddie didn’t leave immediately, not that Buck had expected him to, it was still a shock when a couple of months after that first realtor appointment Eddie was announcing to everyone that he’d found a place in El Paso and that he’d be going to see it in person. 

Buck almost offered to go with him. It would have been a distraction that didn’t involve the cashier at Trader Joe’s not being able to hide her expression when Buck went in three days in a row to get baking ingredients. Instead, he drove him to the airport and wished him luck. Told him to say hi to Christopher. Then, he went out and got more flour. On his next shift, he arrived with his efforts. 

He never really had anyone. Not for himself. At least, not until Tommy…but that was over and Buck didn’t think he’d ever get that back. Not with Tommy and certainly not with anyone else. Not that he was even interested in seeking anyone else. 

So, he kept baking. 

His parents…well, Buck had found out why they were the way they were at least so there was some kind of explanation for how they treated him growing up. For why Buck had only really had them when he was hurt or injured and even then it was at a distance. Buck was always kept at a distance. He’d had Maddie, but even Maddie left at the first chance she got.

Left him with his parents who didn’t understand him and who mostly left him to his own devices and then butted in when it suited them before backing out of being parents yet again. 

Then, when Maddie and he planned to leave together it had felt like such a relief. He and his sister together against the world. He’d been so deflated — so angry — when she sent him off on his own instead. They were tethered and yet distant and while Buck reached out through postcards he never heard back. Buck understood the Doug of it all, the way that Maddie had done so much to protect him and to protect herself and yet there were parts of him that just also accepted that for most of his life he’d been left behind and that it would happen again and again and again. 

He was the one that waited. He was the one who saw them walk away. He was the one left behind.

Abby. Ali. Maddie. Tommy. Eddie. Taylor and Natalia to some extent too though at least he’d had more of a say about it — and dare he say it, relief. 

His apartment had felt empty from the very moment that the door closed behind Tommy. It still did even months later no matter what Buck did and no matter who stopped by. The silence was often broken by the whirr of his Kitchen-Aid or the beep of a timer, but that didn’t stop Buck feeling it. The loneliness. 

Too much had happened in his apartment. Their first unexpected kiss. The night that Buck had given Tommy a blowjob for the first time right there at the table, his knees on the hard floor and Tommy’s hand in his hair, his gasps and moans forever left behind in his mind. The very first time that Buck bottomed and how gentle Tommy had been and how Buck had lost count of the times that he was asked if he was sure. All their firsts — well, most of them, anyway. Buck couldn’t get away from the memories. 

It wasn’t like Buck was all on his own. He’d found a family, a place where he belonged. It was just that he was the most isolated. 

Bobby and Athena were in the process of building their house and it seemed to be taking up any of Bobby’s spare time. Hen and Karen were still settling into the new family dynamic with Mara finally and completely in the picture. Buck could easily understand why Karen wanted as much family time as possible. Maddie was pregnant so she and Chim were doing everything they could to prepare for the baby including giving Jee as much time with them so that she didn’t feel forgotten once the baby came. 

Buck didn’t blame them for living their lives, but he did find that he just didn’t fit. He wasn’t needed and as inviting as they all were, Buck just felt like a hanger on. Eddie deciding to go to Texas to be with Christopher was the right move, but it did mean that Buck felt like he was being left yet again. 

Eddie came back from El Paso excited. The house was perfect, apparently, and he’d managed to talk to Chris while he was there too. Buck hadn’t known what to expect from Christopher, considering how little he’d wanted to interact with Eddie since leaving, but Eddie seemed optimistic about making things better with proximity. Buck had to be supportive and help him out, at least it kept him busy for a time. 

Eddie left just a few weeks later, all his stuff packed into his truck and everything else put in storage. They had a going away party at the 118 on his last shift and Buck had to keep all of his emotions inside. He made the cake and the cookies and the pie. Put on a smile. He pretended he was fine. It had to be enough. 

Chim and Maddie invited Buck over for dinner that night and being over at their house was probably the only thing that kept him from calling Tommy. Buck was glad to be busy playing with Jee-Yun and listening to Maddie talk about the progress of her pregnancy. Still, his mind went to Tommy, like it always did. 

How was he doing? How was he handling it? Did he have anyone to lean on? Or had he walked out of Buck’s life and just kept moving without a look back at what could have been and everything he left behind. Maybe it had been long enough that he’d already found someone else. The very possibility of that tore at him and made him want to scream. 

At the end of the night, when Maddie was putting away the cake he’d brought with him, she stopped and fixed him with a stare. 

“You’re still baking,” she said. 

“And?”

“And this started as a good way to get over the break up, but now I think it’s getting a bit obsessive. It’s been months, Buck. Maybe…maybe it’s time you start dating again.” 

The very thought of it was paralyzing. 

“No,” he said. 

“No?” Maddie asked. 

He wasn’t ready for that, might never be ready. It was strange, the way that he just wasn’t interested in finding someone else, not even in a casual way. Not even in a no strings attached way. Tommy had ruined him. Tommy had burrowed so deep that Buck feared he would never get him out and so Buck was just…he was going to be alone. Probably always. 

“Have you thought about calling him?” 

Buck almost laughed. He wanted to cry. 

“Every moment of every day,” he said. “I can’t stop thinking about him. About calling him. About yelling at him.”

“So why don’t you?” 

That was the question. In the direct aftermath, he remembered how quick everyone had been to take his phone right out of his hand and how they had all told him that the last thing he should do was call or text. Chim had even said something about Tommy needing to be the one to call. Buck wished they had encouraged him to reach out instead. He wished he hadn’t listened to them, but he’d been so hurt and he hadn’t known what to do. Maddie had been right there encouraging him to move on. They all had. Buck had figured that they were right, especially with how adamant they were. 

“It’s been months,” Buck said. 

“So maybe you need to talk it out. Closure could help you finally stop baking.” 

She looked at him with pity. Maddie probably didn’t mean to, but it was right there and he hated it. 

“No,” he said and then, “I should go.” 

“Buck, I—”

“I gotta go.” 

The funny part was that he would have gone straight to Eddie’s house, but it wasn’t an option anymore. His apartment didn’t feel like the right place either. So, he drove around for a bit and wound up at the beach. 

The sound of the waves were loud but calming when Buck walked out onto the sand. There were a few people walking around despite how late it was, mostly couples. It made Buck feel more than a little bitter because it did always seem like everyone else seemed to just find their person. And maybe it was hard for everyone and maybe they had hurdles and issues to work through to get to be happy, but it seemed to Buck like no one ever thought it was worth it to work through the hard things with him. Maybe it was time that Buck just give it up and figure out a different way to be happy.

Buck had no idea how long he sat on the cold sand. Long enough that the temperature had gone down a few degrees more and that he actually felt numb from the cold. He forced himself to stand and then started the walk back to his car. Buck had barely gotten there when his phone started to ring. 

The number was not saved in his contacts. Buck answered it anyway. 

“Hello?” 

“Is this Evan Buckley?” A nice female voice said. 

“Uh. Yes. Who am I speaking to?” 

“We’re calling from Cedars Sinai, you were listed as an emergency contact—”

His heartbeat was in his ears, chest tight and his head spinning. The words didn’t make sense. Immediately he went over where everyone he knew was. He’d left Maddie and Chim at home but could something have happened with the pregnancy? But the hospital wouldn’t call him unless they were both incapable of calling him. Eddie was in Texas. He wasn’t the emergency contact for Bobby or Athena or Hen. So that left…

Buck was glad he was near enough to his car that he could stumble towards it and lean against it. 

“Mr. Buckley? Mr. Buckley?” 

“I’ll…I’ll be right there.” 

He almost dropped his phone as he fumbled for his keys. He thought about calling Maddie or Bobby. Hen, even. Didn’t. Instead he got into his car and his hands were surprisingly steady as he started the car.

[bucksboobs]

.

[dadbodbuck]

god. from every angle that video call hurts so fucking bad like ok. you are christopher diaz. your dad is doing his best. you know this. it still fucking hurts. your mom died and your dad does stuff that scares you sometimes and one day you came home and for the briefest moment you thought your mom was back again, but it turns out it was your dad chasing ghosts like he always does. and that's his best. that's his very, absolute, utmost best. and you have to live with the fact that he loves you and it's not enough to stop him from doing things that hurt you, even if he doesn't mean to. and every time he calls, it's just a visceral, sick reminder of what he did. you can't stop looking at your dad's face and remembering that fleeting, childish hope. and all that's left over after you're done being hurt is the anger.

or you're eddie diaz, and your son is still pulling away. it's been three months and you can't stop scrambling desperately for something, anything you can say to make him come back. you put up streamers. you invite over your friends. you get party hats and noise makers and you pray that this time it'll be enough. this will be enough love and care. you love him so much. you love him so much and it's not enough. your mom doesn't even let you watch the whole happy birthday song.

or you're buck, and you love this kid too. and it's almost like everyone forgot. they forgot that you pulled him out of a tsunami. they forgot that you'll be his guardian if your best friend in the whole world dies. but you're not the one who lost a kid, that's your best friend. you need to be there to hold him together while he's falling apart. and you get this chance to surprise this kid you love while doing something for your best friend, and he doesn't even notice. this kid, who isn't your kid, but you love anyway, and haven't seen in months, doesn't even acknowledge you. and you have to watch your best friend break in half again, and there's nothing you can do about it.

or, frankly, you're tommy kinard. and you're in this new relationship with a beautiful, sweet, thoughtful man. and maybe he's a little close with his best friend, but that's fine, because you like his best friend too. in fact, his best friend is quickly becoming a close friend of yours. and you don't talk much about your past, your family, how utterly fucking lonely you were before this ball of sunshine and his goofy codependent bestie fell into your lap. but they know it wasn't great, and that your dad was kind of a piece of shit. but your new friend, and your newer boyfriend, they love this kid more than your dad could have ever loved you. they put up streamers. they invite you to surprise him because he thinks you're cool. they give you a party hat and your boyfriend is smiling all hopeful and giddy. you never remember your dad being this happy to see you. and all they get is a blank face and a cut signal. they don't even get to sing him happy birthday.

[teenmaximoff]

Buck hears the chopper land and knows exactly who’s in the pilot’s seat. He looks over to Bobby, who is talking to Athena and a man he doesn’t recognize. Before he can ask, he’s cut off. “Make it quick.”

Buck grins and turns on his heels. Then he full-on sprints down the freeway, weaving through the sea of passengers and ambulances. He nearly knocks Eddie over and hears him snark something about being ‘thirsty’ to Hen.

Finally, he gets to the end of the make-shift runway they made. Tommy jumps out of the cockpit, looking insanely hot in his flight suit. The memory of him wearing it, and only it, while Buck went down on him a few weeks back flashes in his head. He quickly reminds himself they’re in public. There are too many cameras around for him to get a semi right now. “Pilot Kinard.”

Sauntering over to him, Tommy doesn’t shy away from checking his boyfriend out – eyes slowly scanning over Buck’s frame. “Firefighter Buckley.” He’s the hottest man to walk the earth. “Got a patient for me?”

“A-a patient?” Buck stammers, getting a little (a lot) lost watching Tommy’s lips as he spoke. “Oh y-yeah, the patient!” Buck looks behind them, to where Chim is doing his final check on the pilot Athena and the passengers kept alive through the crash. “He’s stable. Machine got his pulse back.”

“Great. Donato’s setting up for medevac.” They are so close. But they are tragically not touching. Tommy hasn’t even so much as given him a shoulder pat or ruffled his hair. Buck’s vibrating out his skin. He needs his boyfriend’s lips on his right now. “We have five minutes.”

That’s all Buck needs to hear. He quickly looks around; everyone else is busy with other survivors. He grabs Tommy by the collar of his flight suit and slams him against the closest engine. He crashes their lips together, tongue first.

Tommy makes the same surprised moan he did when they made out in the hospital. It takes a second for him to catch up, but he makes up for it by licking the roof of Buck’s mouth and pulling his hair, keeping them as close as possible.

“Don’t ever pull a stunt like this, okay?”

“Mmm hmm.” Tommy mumbles against his lips. Buck knows he can’t really make that promise. As a pilot, there’s always the risk of something going wrong. He doesn’t like to think about it.

Buck kisses his chin. “You’re texting me every time you take off…” Another to his jaw. “… and again when you land.”

Tommy chuckles and Buck can feel the vibration against his chest. “Of course, Evan.”

“Good.” He taps his chest. His strong and firm chest.

Tommy attempts to smooth down Buck’s curls, having messed them up during their embrace. “Once you’re done here, you coming over? I’m cooking.” Sounds perfect, exactly what Buck needs after a day like today. “I wanna hear all about you saving the day – I heard something about a motorbike?” He adds with a tilt of his head. Buck knows exactly what that glint in his eye means.

Giving another quick look around, he bites at Tommy’s lip – unable to hide his playful smirk as he grabs a fistful of his boyfriend’s ass. “Of course I’ll come over…” He kisses past his cheek to bite at Tommy’s ear lobe “… Daddy.” He whispers – just for him.

Tommy curses under his breath and his grip on Buck’s hips tighten. “Evan –“

“Buckley! Stop distracting my pilot.” Lucy yells from the chopper. “Get your ass overhear, Kinard!”

They, begrudgingly, separate. Tommy turns around once he’s halfway to the chopper. “We’re finishing this later.” Buck can’t help but bounce on his heels, arousal and excitement coursing through him. Buck not caring at all about failing the ‘not getting a semi’ plan.

Tommy gets into the cockpit and starts the engine. Wind gusts around them as the blades spin. The chopper starts to lift off, Buck waving at Tommy as he flies away. “Nice to see you too, Tommy!” Chim sarcastically shouts at the sky.

[buckevantommy]

Everyone's always telling Buck what he should do. Okay, sometimes he did ask for their advice, but every piece of advice he's followed through on lately has ended badly and everything they tell him to do he doesn't actually want to do.

He should want to do something if it's supposed to make him feel better, if it's supposed to be better for him, right?

Josh told him to bulldoze ahead and tell Tommy what he wanted. Tommy told him to re-enact his Buck 1.0 days and spend time with some indeterminate amount of people until he finds someone forever. Maddie and Chim told him to start dating again and also wait for the universe to bring him someone special; another someone. Hen and Eddie told him not to contact Tommy.

He doesn't want to do any of that! He wants to talk to Tommy, to see him, to get Tommy to talk to him instead of giving up on them and running away because he's scared. He wants to tell Tommy he loves him. He wants Tommy to know first and last aren't mutually exclusive. He wants to yell at Tommy, and kiss him, and hold him. He wants Tommy to apologise for breaking his heart and for being a dumbass. He wants Tommy to believe him when he says he won't do the same; well, he might be a dumbass sometimes - but he would never break Tommy’s heart. He wants to apologise for jumping ahead but also not have to apologise for wanting a life with Tommy or for being too much.

Since that first night Tommy kissed him, he's felt reborn. Not in some starry-eyed way that Tommy seems to think is fake and won't last, but in the way that he's shed the skin of past Buck upgrades and finally grown into his body, become comfortable in who he is instead of trying to fit a facade that other people would accept. Always too big, too much, not enough, never content to just sit in his self and be without his worries and insecurities moulding him into something else, something with a better chance of getting people to like him, love him, stay with him. 

He’s never felt more himself or more at ease in a relationship that meant something to him than he did with Tommy. Never felt more wholly seen - the good, the bad, and the too-much and not enough - by his partner and adored anyway, wanted anyway.

Halfway through making swiss meringue buttercream instead of breakfast, he realises he's thinking about Tommy. His coping skill, as Bobby called it, has stopped working.

There's butter and sugar in the creases of his hands and nailbeds even after he hurriedly wipes them with the dishcloth over his shoulder. He can see it as he scoops up his phone from the charger and thumbs over to his message thread with Tommy, leaving greasy crumby residue on the screen.

i saw you bubbling

After it happened, after the Chief distracted everyone enough for him to grab his phone and retreat somewhere he wouldn't be disturbed, he'd stared at the space where the unsent message had appeared for twenty minutes waiting for the type bubble to reappear. Waiting for Tommy to hit send on whatever he'd backtyped.

Buck's mind had spiralled with all the possibilities and while it spiralled and he stared and waited he never got around to actually calling or texting Tommy himself. And then the bell rang.

He has time, now. He has things he wants to say.

you were going to tell me something an maybe i wont like what it was but just knowing you almost reached out is kinda driving me crazy bc i have a fridge full of baked goods bc everytime i think about calling you i bake and now i havnt cooked a proper meal in my own place in over a week bc i dont have room in my damn fridge to store anything besides chocholate chip bananan bread and baked alaskas

He wants to say: and it's all your fault! but that's not the whole truth. Buck played his part in this, set the wheels in motion that drove Tommy away from him. But how the hell was he supposed to know that? And Tommy should've known by now he doesn't really do 'slow'.

i'm not sorry for being too much bc i shouldnt haveto apologize for being myself

Screw it. Can't get any worse, right? Tommy's getting all of him whether he likes it or not.

i dont see you as some queer life coach or someone to fill space until someon else comes along

thats not who i am

i thought you knew me better than that but whatevr ig

i wanted to live with you bc i want a life with you bc i love you

i love you

i shouldve said that first

Send after send, typing like a man possessed, he gets out everything that's been pent up inside him since the shock wore off a week ago.

His chest is heaving as the adrenaline rushes through his veins. And his eyes sting. He has to blink away tears as he reads over the last message.

He never told Tommy. Tommy doesn't know. Maybe Buck wasn't sure that night Josh asked him, but he knows it now.

i wanted you to be my last

He still does.

i wanna hate you for giving up on us

but i cant seem to hate you

This whole thing would hurt a lot less if he could just hate Tommy for what he did. It would hurt a lot less if they could find a way through this mess, together, and come out the other side stronger because they know each other better and know they want to fight for what they have.

Real love is worth fighting for. Red taught him that. Real love isn’t found, it’s made. Old gay Thomas taught him that.

Well, Buck found Tommy. Or, the universe did. And he’s going to fight, dammit, because he wants to build a future with Tommy. 

His vision has blurred with hot tears. Movement on his screen catches his attention from where his gaze had drifted over to the couch where Tommy had stayed to take care of him through his Billy Boils saga.

Tommy is bubbling him.

Buck’s heart lurches in his chest. His breath catches.

can we talk?

There’s a huff of something like manic laughter as he swipes at his snotty nose.

that’s what i typed

Hope blooms in his chest, sudden and bright and painful in the best way.  

can we?

I think I owe it to you to yell at me in person

There’s a long moment where Buck tries to return his breathing to normal but its bated as he watches three little dots appear, then disappear. 

Then reappear. 

Then disappear.

Then:

I don’t want to give up on us either

Buck’s tears are still making his vision watery, but now they’re tears of joy. He did what he wanted to do - he reached out. And Tommy heard him.

He should take his own advice more often.

[alchemistc]

You never let me in, Buck sends, two of three sheets fully winded, and when he kicks his leg over the coffee table he nearly knocks over three empties.

They do this thing, right? Buck gets upset and before the tears can fall, because he's cried too many fucking times already, he makes himself angry. Picks at something that has come up every time he's done a post-mortem on the last six months.

And then he sends that shit to Tommy. Because - because who the fuck else is he supposed to talk to about it? The guy who'd sucked him off in the hallway of a nightclub two weeks ago? The woman who'd spent an hour quietly helping Buck understand that yeah, he was very much bi, and yeah, some people did not like that shit? Maddie, or Chim, or Hen or Eddie, who still might interact with him on the job? Bobby? Fuck, not Bobby.

Bobby who'd blinked at Buck and offered platitudes and apologized to Buck like it was somehow his fault Tommy was good people but he was the kind of good people who just walked out on something that could have been something.

I should have pushed more. I know I should have. I just thought since I was trying to share everything, you were too.

My mistake.

Three months and Buck isn't over it. He's far enough into the mourning process that he thinks this one is always gonna sting, and not for the reasons Tommy thinks.

That's not fair. I'm sorry.

The texts get delivered. Tommy reads them. Buck's had read receipts on since the first time Tommy went quiet on a call and Buck freaked out a little - but back then they were still working towards something. Back then, sometimes Tommy would pull out his phone and open the thread just to give Buck sign of life.

He was always doing that. Heading shit off at the pass.

Buck had just never realized he'd be able to do it to hurt him, just as well as take care of him.

Every four weeks like clockwork Buck gets a response. He has no fucking idea why it's four weeks, what the third Thursday of the month has to do with Tommy feeling gracious enough to give Buck some clarity. He'd never known enough about Tommy, is the thing he's coming around to. He'd done everything he could to bring Tommy in, make him a part, and Tommy had let him. Tommy had distracted him with quippy words and a clever tongue and with being so fucking willing to be integrated into Buck's life that Buck just - hadn't noticed.

No one will say it, but he Bucked It Up in the worst kind of way.

He's waited until Third Thursday to send these texts. He actually hasn't sent anything at all, until this moment, and he wonders if Tommy noticed. If he cared. Tommy picks and chooses from Buck's random thoughts, parses out details like he's reading from a manual and Buck is off topic two thirds of the time. Buck doesn't actually know why he's been answering, all this time. He wonders if, in the last four weeks of silence, he thought he was finally done with Buck.

He wonders if it had hurt.

Buck sets his phone down to stand, skating across to the kitchen in his socks for the pizza rolls in the oven.

His diet is shit. His body feels like crap. He's one more drunken nights sleep on the couch away from emptying the rack in his fridge down the drain and giving sobriety a try. The last person he'd slept with had hinted that they'd prefer not to use condoms and Buck had almost let them.

Buck has worth. He knows he does. It's just sometimes when he remembers that every person he's ever loved has either walked out on him or let him walk away when he needed them, he struggles to find that worth.

His life has meaning, and all that jazz.

Buck sort of wonders if Tommy hasn't finally blocked his number, as he tosses a too-hot pizza roll in his mouth and huffs on the lava cheese burning his tongue. After the last message Buck had sent, three weeks ago, he wouldn't exactly be surprised.

(This is basically just an unhinged grief journal with an unreliable second narrator. Do you know what it's like to realize you're still in love with someone who never let you know them?)

There's been no response to that. Fair. Buck hadn't even actually said the words. No, he'd jumped right into the sharing a life part, cart before the horse as always when emotions were high.

The pizza rolls get tipped onto a plate and are immediately swimming in the heavy pour of ranch he'd prepared after he set the oven to preheat.

It cools them off a lot quicker than popping a hole in each seam and waiting.

It's been eight years since Buck has really even thought about that little trick.

When he opens his phone there's no response. No receipt. Just stark words waiting to be acknowledged.

I gave you my family, Tommy. You didn't even introduce me to your team at Harbor.

It's startling to realize after the fact. He doubts Tommy had meant it that way, but he'd basically spent six months being love bombed only to have the rug ripped right out from under his feet.

And yet. Months later and he still wants to know. Know why. Know how he could have done it, with tears in his eyes, with full awareness that it was already gonna hurt. Know Tommy - anything he'd part with, really, that wasn't something every random acquaintance also knew.

Cool, he'd been jealous of what Buck and the 118 had. (Buck had tried to give him that. Or at least he thought he had.)

Great, he didn't talk to his dad and Gerrard was a shitty captain. (Buck had spent an hour once explaining the first time he and his dad had spoken about Daniel without screaming at each other. Tommy had listened to the rants about Gerrard and offered physical comfort and a 'sounds like him' and Buck had just been so relieved to have an ally amongst the 'life is just like this sometimes' crowd that he'd never examined that.)

He was a Kinsey six who'd been engaged to the first woman Buck had ever really loved and they'd never dug deeper than that.

And Buck had apparently interpreted some of the shit he'd said that night wrong, but he still doesn't think it's fucking fair that Tommy can't trust him to know his own fucking mind well enough to know he hates sleeping around and he'd found the sort of connection he was looking for. He'd found it. Even with the lack of reciprocation. Even with the quiet behind Tommy's eyes that he'd never let Buck in on. Even with the -

His phone buzzes on the coffee table.

Can we talk?

Buck kinda hates those words in that order now. They'd been the start of something twice, but they'd always been leading to an end, if Tommy had his way.

Once every four weeks, apparently, Buck sends back and takes a vicious bite.

His phone chimes with an incoming call.

Buck stares at the name he hasn't had the stomach to remove the little heart from. Lets it ring through to voicemail and then shoves three more pizza rolls into his mouth and doesn't care if they burn off his taste buds.

His phone rings again.

"What?"

"I'm outside your building. Didn't want to make any assumptions that I'd be welcome without asking first."

Buck can feel his ribs cracking under the lurch of angry laughter. "What the hell?"

"Well the parking around here is miserable again, so I figure that's a sign."

"Are you driving right now?"

"Hands off. I'm on Bluetooth. So. Should I circle the building a fifth time or call it now and go home?"

Buck gets stuck on fifth time.

There's no way he hadn't been driving since at least before Buck sent that first text.

Buck sighs. There's absolutely no reason to be hopeful about that. For all he knows, Tommy has just decided dousing any residual flames is just another thing he has to do in person.

"My Jeep's in the shop. I'll buzz you into the garage."

Tommy's silent for a long, long moment. The quip comes anyway. "I keep telling you that thing is a money pit."

"I'm not really feeling the flirty banter, right now, Tommy, so maybe just let me know when you're at the gate."

He does. He hangs up the phone twenty seconds later with a plain "See you soon."

Buck doesn't have time to change. Fix his hair. Hide the sheet pan with half a dozen pizza rolls still laying on it, because he'd cooked way too many again.

(He could absolutely do one of these things but if Tommy's gonna throw this at him, he's getting every little slovenly habit Bucks's picked up since he walked out that door.)

The knock comes while Buck's shoving the last two rolls on his plate into his mouth.

He's still chewing with his mouth open to blow out the steam when he swings the door open, and Buck feels the first inklings of pleasure ripple through him at the sight of Tommy.

He looks like shit.

"You look like shit."

Tommy's brow ticks up. He stares pointedly at the glob of not-cheese that's going to absolutely ruin this sweatshirt.

"That tends to happen when you spend an hour in an armchair two sizes too small picking at trauma you've been hiding from your therapist for six years."

Buck opens the door wider. Holy crap. Tommy might legitimately be more fucked up than Buck.

Tommy's smile is strained. "Can I come in?"

Buck holds his gaze. His eyes are a little red. He's got a red spot along the side of his neck, like he's been rubbing at it. Buck only recognizes it as a comforting motion because he's replayed him doing it half a million times right before he ended things.

"Depends. Is this the last time you respond to my mean, rude, asshole texts for an hour after therapy rubs you raw?" Third Thursday Therapy, is apparently what does it. Buck is - god. He just wants -

"God, I hope not," Tommy says, and Buck takes a step to the side to let Tommy in.

[cjlouwho]

prompt: the rest of the 118 see tommy and buck be affectionate together for the first time. not just the aftermath, like with the wedding kiss, but they actually witness it. cuteness overload!

It took a few weeks for everything to calm down enough for everyone to get together.

The 118 was adjusting to working under Captain Gerrard.

Bobby and Athena were adjusting to moving into an apartment half the size of their house.

Hen and Karen were adjusting to visits with Mara every chance they could get.

Chimney and Maddie were adjusting to having two young girls running around the house.

Eddie was adjusting to being alone.

And Buck was less adjusting and more enjoying his new romance with Tommy.

He didn't mention Tommy much at work. He got sick of Gerrard's one-off comments pretty quickly. Usually, he would have been egging him on every chance he got, but it turns out he was more protective of Tommy than he originally realized, and anytime his name came out of Gerrard's mouth it made him want to punch the man.

It was easier to not bring him up.

When Bobby and Athena had finally settled into their new place, which very conveniently had a grilling and picnic area on the roof, they invited everyone over.

Bobby made sure to include Tommy in his invitation. His and Buck's relationship may have been new, but he was an old friend to the majority of the 118, and a new friend to those he hadn't known all that long.

He did not include the fact that Athena was insistent on seeing their dynamic because, “One of them is gonna give the other a run for their money and I can't figure out which one's which yet.”

In fact, the majority of the group was interested in seeing Tommy and Buck together. Everyone except Eddie, who accidentally witnessed far too much of their dynamic a couple weeks ago when he decided to head into Buck's place without knocking first.

It would be the last time he ever made that mistake.

The others couldn't help their curiosity. It was the first time Buck had ever seemed so settled in a relationship. The first time he wasn't asking for near-constant advice. The first time he wasn't endlessly concerned he was doing something wrong or about to screw things up.

Something was different. Something had shifted. They wanted to know what it was.

And while Hen and Chimney had known Tommy for a long time, they hadn't exactly stayed in touch after he left. Up until the cruise rescue, Hen hadn't really spoken to him at all, and Chimney would send him a text or two each year just to ask how he was keeping up. The Tommy they knew was closeted, scared, defensive under Gerrard's leadership, cocky, and seemingly always searching for something... more.

“I'm kinda bummed,” Buck said as they headed up to the roof.

“What?” Tommy glanced at him curiously. “Why?”

“Because everyone already knows you,” he explained. “I can't introduce you as my boyfriend.”

Tommy smiled, eyes crinkling up in the cute way Buck loved. He switched the wine bottle he was holding to his other hand took Buck's hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “You can still do that, if you want. I mean, they might look at you funny, but who cares, right?”

Buck squeezed his hand back. After a moment, he gasped, eyes widening as he did a little jump. “I can introduce you to all the kids!” he exclaimed.

Tommy couldn't help but laugh at Buck's excitement. “That sounds perfect, Evan.”

*****

Bobby wasn't sure how they'd gotten to this point only five minutes into Buck arriving, but here they were. Before Tommy had even handed off the wine, Buck was going into a story on Gerrard mentioning the 1933 Griffith Park Fire, but he had been wrong about some information.

“And I was trying to tell him how twenty-nine people died, not twenty-seven, but he was insistent that I was wrong. I knew I wasn't. I had just spent a couple hours the other night reading over articles about it. When was it, Tommy?” he asked, turning to his boyfriend, “Two nights ago?”

“Uh, three. Three nights ago.”

“Right, three nights ago. See, two people died later at the hospital, so they weren't included in the initial death toll. So, obviously, I had to get online and show him...”

As Buck continued, Bobby nodded along, trying to take in at least some of what he was saying. Sometimes, when Buck got on tangents like these, it was hard to keep up.

As the discussion got more heated, Bobby noticed Tommy's hand drifted to Buck's back, resting at the base. Buck continued without missing a beat, but his voice calmed and his posture relaxed.

“Did he ever admit defeat?” Tommy asked. To Bobby's surprise, Tommy had kept his eyes on Buck the entire time. He seemed genuinely interested in every word that was coming out of Buck's mouth.

Buck shook his head. “No, he'd never do that. But he was quiet for the rest of the day, so I took it as a win.”

“Oh, that's definitely a win,” Tommy agreed.

Not that he ever doubted, but it was then that Bobby knew his initial analysis was correct. Tommy was good people, and he was good for Buck.

*****

Hen's eyes drifted over the rooftop, settling between Tommy and Buck. She had noticed earlier how they always seemed to gravitate toward each other. Now was no different. Even though they were on opposite sides of the roof, Buck talking to Maddie, and Tommy having a very expressive conversation with Jee, they would steal glances at each other. A smile here, a wink there. Buck even gave Tommy a little wave, like they hadn't been sitting side by side only five minutes ago.

“I don't think it's just the honeymoon phase for those two,” Athena said, scooting a chair closer to Hen before sitting down.

Hen rolled her eyes affectionately at yet another tiny wave from Buck before turning to Athena. “I think I agree. I've never seen Buck so smitten before, and I don't use that word often.”

“Mhm,” Athena hummed with a nod. “Tommy seems just as smitten as Buck. I don't ever remember him looking so peaceful before. I haven't worked with him much since he transferred to Harbor, but I remember what he was like before.”

Hen huffed out a laugh. “Arrogant?”

“And stiff.”

“Yeah. He changed a lot, especially after Gerrard left, but this is different.”

They kept watching as Jee got distracted by Mara and they ran off to play. Tommy walked over to Buck, who held out his hand for Tommy to take before Tommy was even close.

As soon as he could, Tommy took his hand and sat down beside him on the little couch. Buck leaned in close, whispering something in his ear, then they laughed deep and loud.

“If I watch anymore of this I'm gonna throw up,” Hen said, standing up. “I'm gonna go rescue Karen from whatever game Denny is showing her on his phone.”

Athena laughed, squeezed Hen's hand as she went by, but kept her attention on the boys.

She couldn't seem to look away.

*****

Maddie tapped Chimney's thigh, nodding toward where Buck and Tommy were standing in a corner of the rooftop, watching the sunset. They had their arms wrapped around one another, occasionally stealing a chaste kiss. “They look so happy,” she said, a warm smile on her face.

“Yeah, they do,” Chimney agreed. “I'm happy for both of them. They're good together.”

“Yeah, they are. Did you know Buck hasn't even been to his loft in a week? When he's not working he's at Tommy's place.”

“And they're not sick of each other yet?” Chimney laughed. “Oh, they're in deep.”

Before Maddie could respond, Eddie was coming up to them, kneeling down beside Chimney. “We gotta hide the clipboards.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm serious, man, we're gonna be in deep trouble if we don't.”

Maddie leaned forward. “Why do you need to hide the clipboards, Eddie?”

Eddie motioned to Buck and Tommy. Tommy had an arm around Buck's shoulder now, both of Buck's still wrapped around Tommy's waist. He had his head resting against Tommy's shoulder, and Tommy pressed a kissed to the top of his head. “Have you seen the two of them? I'm not even gonna go into what I witnessed a couple weeks ago-”

“Thank God.”

“-but they've got it bad for each other. I give it six months before they're engaged. You know what happens after that?”

Chimney thought for a second, sucking in a breath when the realization hit him. “Wedding planning.”

“Wedding planning,” Eddie repeated.

Maddie shook her head. “You guys are crazy.”

“What? You don't think they'll be ready to walk down the aisle in six months time?” Chimney asked.

“Oh, no, they definitely will. You're just crazy if you think not being able to find a clipboard will stop him. I don't know if you guys know this, but Notes app Buck is far worse than clipboard Buck.”

[peppermintquartz]

There are times Buck wishes he isn't a jealous person. This is one of those times. Eddie and Tommy are deep in discussion about some military thingamajig, and they both have Opinions, so they are talking at and over each other while helping Buck prep for dinner.

And Buck is trying to work on his jealous streak. He knows he can focus on what they have, or focus on what Buck himself has with Tommy.

He knows Tommy likes him differently than he does Eddie. For one thing, he woke up this morning with Tommy's hand groping his chest and Tommy's lips on his neck, and Eddie definitely doesn't get to have that. That thought settles Buck somewhat. Yeah, Tommy Kinard is my boyfriend. No one can take that from me.

"How many potatoes do you need diced, Buck?" Eddie asks.

Buck frowns and gauges the amount. "Maybe two more."

"Ay, Dios, my hands are cramping."

"What, too soft to work in a kitchen?" Buck teases. "I should tell Bobby to put you on kitchen duty. Toughen you up a little."

Eddie makes a face at Buck. "You'll just bitch about my cooking the whole time."

"I'm your best friend, I have the right to bitch as much as I want to you about anything."

Tommy is still chopping tomatoes. "Have you washed the celery, baby? I'll chop that next."

As Buck hands Tommy the celery, Eddie says, "I don't remember minestrone on the menu at the station."

"He wheedled the recipe out of me last week," Tommy says to Eddie. "Tonight is a trial run before he makes it for Bobby."

Wheedled. Ha. Buck sucked it out of Tommy's dick. Not literally, because that's not humanly possible though Buck did try, but Tommy made it last Tuesday evening and it had been so good that Buck needed to show his appreciation, and after that Tommy told him everything he needed to know. So that's another thing Eddie won't ever have with Tommy.

He frowns to himself as he looks at the recipe he's jotted down, mentally converting the quantities to feed the team.

Is his relationship with Tommy all about the sex? He blinks and shakes his head. No. The connection is different.

Tommy's smile when he looks at Buck is different from how he smiles at Eddie. With the latter, Tommy's cheerful, relaxed, open, convivial. They're good friends. With Buck, Tommy's entire demeanor becomes softer, gentler, as if he wants to keep the younger man in his embrace forever and ever.

And there's the touching. Tommy slings an arm over Eddie's shoulders, gives him high fives, bumps their chests together, hearty slaps on the back and sometimes on their ass (Eddie slaps Tommy's ass more than the other way around, as far as Buck's has observed, and he can't even be mad about that because Tommy has a very slappable ass).

But when Tommy touches Buck in public, he lingers. Hand skimming down his shoulder to his elbow to his hand. Leaning against him in the cinema. Tangling their fingers when they hold hands on their walks. Sometimes Tommy hugs Buck for no reason, too, like when they're at a crosswalk and Buck is talking about how the acidity of soil determines the colors of hydrangeas or something irrelevant and Tommy will pull Buck in by his waist and press him to his side, or when Buck is coming home from a shift and Tommy's heading out to his shift and Tommy will invariably pause and hug him before he goes.

Buck catches himself smiling like a dope and looks up to see the two men watching him. Eddie's expression is one of amused exasperation and Tommy is-

Well, Tommy's glowing. As if he is watching the sun rise after a long and arduous night, as if he's seeing something he has always wanted.

Buck grins. "What?"

"I love you," Tommy says. He shoves Eddie lightly when the latter mutters something about being a third wheel.

Well, also, Tommy doesn't tell Eddie "I love you" in that besotted manner. Chalk another up to Team Buck. Buck walks around the island, smacking Eddie for another snarky comment about the two being completely hopeless saps, and kisses his boyfriend.

With tongue, just because he can.

Eddie throws a piece of potato peel at them both. "Start cooking or I'll stay here all night and won't let you two get it on."

Tommy pulls away from the heated kiss and makes a seductive face at Eddie. "Don't tell me you want in on the action."

"Ack, no!" Another piece of potato peel flies through the air and lands in Tommy's hair. Eddie sticks out his tongue. "But I am getting hungry, and you still owe me a spar."

As he untangles himself from Tommy and removes the peel from his soft curls, Buck glances at the diced potatoes and the rest of the ingredients.

"Alright, go beat the stuffing out of each other. It should be done by the time you are." He shoos them out of the kitchen. But even as Tommy laughingly follows Eddie to the garage, he loiters for another five seconds to kiss Buck sweetly and murmur, "We'll continue that later."

"Later," Buck agrees.

--

edited and expanded on ao3

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, me and @buckgettingstruck have been going back and forth since yesterday and we have reached enlightenment about bucktommy, and I'm here to share. This isn't an anti post btw, this is us trying to make sense of the relationship in the context of the show.

But imagine you're Tommy. You’ve been closeted for most of your life and you recently came out (yeah, recently, six years is not that long). You left your fiance and decided to come out, but since then most of your relationships — friends and otherwise — have been shallow. For some reason, you don't know how to turn off the instinct to keep people at arm's length.

Suddenly you’re helping your old coworkers rescue your former captain and his wife, and in come Eddie and Buck. 

You hit it off with Eddie. He’s very friendly and you have a lot in common, so you're hanging out with him and trying to get a feel for him. Maybe he’s into guys. Hanging out with him is fun, even if you still can’t find any actual reason to open up to him about your life. You go to fights, you practice Muay Thai, you play basketball. You have fun. 

And then there’s his crazy ass best friend — Buck. 

Buck is spinning out about the two of you hanging out for a few weeks for some reason. You kinda assume there’s something going on with him and Eddie and you try to apologize to the guy. Buck tells you that it's not because he’s jealous of Eddie, it’s because he wants your attention. It throws you for a loop (my attention? You two haven’t really talked since he asked for a tour around Harbor), but your interest is piqued. The guy is hot, and he’s cute in a rambly way so you decide to go for it and it works out in your favor. But in the back of your mind, you know that this dude has some very intense relationship going on with his best friend. You had to bring up Eddie’s kid to get him to warm up to you, after all. But for all you know Eddie is straight, and Buck says he wants your attention. You don’t want anything that serious — breaking off the first engagement was hard enough — and you don’t really have anything to lose by just seeing where this goes. You’ve only been out for six years, so you want to explore. Maybe this could be fun. 

The first date is a bit of a trainwreck, and the dude turns out to be too intense. Somehow Eddie showed up with that girlfriend of his he’s never really talked about, and Buck is spinning out. You decide to cut your losses and go home — even if leaving Buck on the curb was a bit of a dick move. But Buck calls you a few days later. You meet for coffee. He tells you he doesn’t know what he wants, but he wants to try with you. He invites you to Chimney’s bachelor party and his wedding to Buck’s sister as a nice gesture and you figure, what the hell? Why not? Maybe it’s a little much, but he’s trying. 

In your head, you're in a fun, casual relationship because you haven't had the conversation about it being serious. Since Buck doesn’t bring it up or ask you for very much at all, you believe he is on the same page. You keep him at arm’s length so it stays that way — when he talks about almost losing Bobby, the whole Gerrard mess. It’s subconscious, you think, but keep it light and surface level. You don't want something that deep, and he is following your lead. You maybe see each other once a week, considering you both work 24-hour shifts and have chaotic schedules. You go to dinner, you go to the movies, and maybe you make out a little. It's easy and it's fun, and you can stay that way as long as the Buck doesn't push you further. It’s been almost six months now, and beyond venting about Gerrard a few times, he hasn’t even nudged. 

It’s a little weird, though, how Eddie’s always there. And you really like Eddie, honestly, but he’s constantly around. Sometimes it feels like you’re the third wheel here. He’s already there when you arrive for Chimney’s bachelor party, dressed in a suit to match Buck’s and helping set up. Suddenly a few months later you’re being invited to Chris’s Zoom birthday party, where Buck looks just as defeated taking the decorations down as the kid’s father. Buck dislocates his shoulder — you didn’t ask why, and he didn’t volunteer the information — and Eddie is there tucked into the guest chair with a magazine and the shitty hospital coffee, asking about Buck’s recovery and return to work. You do get to stay with him overnight, on his uncomfortable couch and falling asleep as he talks on and on about the corpse he accidentally rented (and alright, why did Buck get mad at him for laughing and not Eddie?). When Buck wakes up with boils the next day it’s not even a question for him to call Eddie. Eddie talks him down a lot better than you could, even if the situation is a bit ridiculous. You don’t miss the way he snaps at you for calling him gross — mentioning your cousin gets shingles is apparently a crime — while he tells Eddie to call his appearance what it is and he’ll believe it’s stress if he says so. But hey, getting boils kinda sucks, and Buck is having a rough go lately, so you move past it. But you don’t miss how Eddie seems to sense that Buck’s picking at his face without looking up from his phone when you’re at the hospital a couple days later because of Hen’s kid. You don’t miss how everyone else gets the good news that he’s going to make it through. Everyone except for you. 

You kinda want what Buck has, if you’re being honest. He found a family at the 118, with really intense people on his six, and you’re hoping that when the relationship runs its course you can stay friends. Maybe you can still keep part of that. Maybe that’s still within reach, even if Buck won’t even show you the text everyone else got. 

Buck goes from zero to a million after that, because he finds out he dated your ex-fiance and his next course of action is to thank you for gay rights and ask you to move in with him.

Up to this point, you thought you were on the same page — light, casual, fun. He didn’t push, but then he shoved you both off a bridge and now you can't ignore the thing that's been in the back of your mind for the last six months. 

Honestly, you have no idea what’s going on with Eddie. The mustache is a choice, and he was doing some funny things with that ring pop back at the hospital, but for all you know, he’s a zero on the Kinsey scale. You know Buck has something going on beneath the surface with how he feels about Eddie, whether he realizes it or not. You knew there was an expiration date on this thing when you started, and you didn’t even mind. You kept it fun and light over the past six months. You kept your distance — maybe a bit too much, considering Abby never came up until now. You hoped maybe you’d get to keep some decent friends once Buck figured his shit out. You knew, even if you tried to ignore it. You tried to enjoy it while it lasted. 

You tried to convince yourself it wasn’t there for a while. Buck, as far as he knew, still knew, was telling the truth. He wanted your attention, your time, you. He’s still figuring everything out, and you thought maybe you had more time. Keeping it casual and slow could only go so far, in the end. 

Buck nudges once, pushes you to consider what it would be like to be in a relationship with him that's serious. He’s talking about living together and you’re panicking a little bit as a thousand scenarios run through your brain, but you can’t see an ending that's not him realizing he has feelings for someone else and leaving you. Another six months, a year, five years — it's all the same. 

You didn’t want to get hurt in this situation, but you will be if you stay. You’ve already hurt people by denying the truth before.

So you tell him — I know how this ends.

You didn’t want to. You never really planned on ending it because you figured he would, but you reached the point where you can't come back. He wants more, and you know that would just end in smoke. Not for him, but for you. 

So you have to break this guy’s heart. And you know if you break this guy’s heart, you’re going to become the villain. You lose the entrance to a family you wanted to be a part of. You lose the friendship you had with Eddie, who is just as goddamn weird and crazy about Buck as Buck is about him. You lose the potential friendship in Buck, in them both, in everyone. There’s only one way out of here now. 

Buck’s somehow still endearing as you end things. You try to nudge him for once, talking about firsts and lasts. He doesn’t get it. You throw in some line a parking spot because the second reserved one Buck got with his loft went to Eddie years ago. You step into the hall, out of Eddie’s shadow, and walk away with nothing.

[bekolxeram]

The sheer number of times Eddie is mentioned when Buck comes out to Maddie has been pointed out time and time again. Some take it as a sign that Buck is subconsciously in love with Eddie, some see it as foreshadowing for these two to be romantically involved in the future, while others simply think it's an Easter egg left in by writers as a nod to shippers.

The way I see it, there is a reason why Eddie keeps being brought up in this scene, but it's not what you think.

If you've rewatched this scene as much as I have, you'd remember that Buck actually isn't coming out to Maddie on purpose in this scene. He originally goes there to talk and ask for her advice, because he feels bad about the hot chicks incident when Eddie walked in on him and Tommy at the restaurant.

In fact, he fully intends to keep the identity of his date hidden. He can't even risk Chimney getting wind of it, in case he or Eddie puts two and two together and figures the whole thing out.

Maddie is always there to talk things out with her brother, but she would never turn down a chance to gossip.

He completely dodges Maddie's question and quickly changes the subject. He needs to tell Maddie the full story of his disastrous date, but he can only refer to Tommy as his date, or "this person". The more he does this, the higher the risk of slipping up, Maddie would likely ask more questions about this mysterious person as well, so Buck frames the whole narrative around the only person he can safely refer to: Eddie (and Marisol, but she isn't important in this story).

Maddie picks up on Buck's secrecy, now she really wants to know who this person is and why Buck refuses to reveal their identity. Buck again immediately shuts it down, and brings the topic back to Eddie.

While I'm sure Buck feels bad for lying to his best friend, especially when there's no reason to expect Eddie reacting with anything less than acceptance, when Buck starts actually talking about his behavior and what upsets him the most, it isn't really about Eddie. He's ashamed of himself for lying right in front of Tommy. In fact, he's so upset over Tommy cutting the date short and leaving him on the curb that he accidentally uses a gendered pronoun.

Maddie "I am 9-1-1" Han makes a career out of being a good and thorough listener, so of course she notices the pronoun. From this point on, the subject of the conversation shifts from Eddie to Buck's newly discovered sexuality, and later, Tommy.

Buck knows he goes to Maddie because he feels bad, but he still hasn't fully processed the fact that he's into men too and what it means to him. He's still calling himself an ally, a supporter of queer people, but he's confused as to why it doesn't seem to apply when it comes to himself. Maddie correctly points out that he's no longer just an ally, and the recency of his discovery might have been the cause of his strange and panicked behavior during the date.

This is the prime example of acting turning the same line into different meanings. The first "wow" seems to me like Maddie is finally connecting the dots. She practically raised her brother, it's not unlikely that she has previously witnessed Buck having boy problems. I feel like it's a "wow, everything makes so much sense now" wow. It looks like Buck takes a little offence at it and asks Maddie to clarify what she means by "wow". Maddie tells him it's more like a "wow, this is a nice surprise" wow.

Oh, boy is completely clueless. Maddie is just trying her best to keep up with Buck's increasingly oblivious statements.

Buck suddenly brings up Tommy, probably because he hasn't been able to stop thinking about him since the kiss. Apparently, he's so attracted to Tommy both physically and as a person, it makes him realize his interest in men, something no other has achieved thus far. Maddie recognizes the name her brother has been harping on for the past few weeks.

Poor Maddie must be so confused. First her brother and husband-to-be keep talking about how cool this pilot who saved everyone is, then he becomes Eddie's friend and Buck gets all jealous about it. Most recently, Maddie is horrified by Buck's action on the basketball court, because he only has a history of hurting himself to get someone's attention, not the target of his attention seeking. And now Buck has gone on a date with Tommy? So Maddie decides, one step at a time, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Buck initially tells Maddie about lying to his best friend and how he feels like a fraud, so she tackles (no pun intended) this part first.

If you come into this scene with preconceived notions, the word "feelings" being in proximity to the name Eddie may seem like to you that Maddie is pointing to "Buck's misplaced romantic feelings towards Eddie". But if you put these lines into context, Buck simply isn't sure of how he feels about his bisexuality in general. In fact, the only thing he's certain of in this entire conversation is his attraction to Tommy. Maddie also isn't bringing up Eddie out of the blue because she thinks her brother is secretly in love with his best friend. Again, Buck originally does want advice about lying to Eddie, albeit partly using his name to avoid revealing his date's identity, so Maddie gives it to him now, no need to read too much in between the lines, especially after the "wow" exchange.

Now that the Eddie stuff is out of the way, Maddie can comfortably gossip about Buck's new hot pilot crush. And Buck looks absolutely smitten at the mere mention of Tommy.

Eddie is undoubtedly a very important person in Buck's life, and it must be killing Buck inside for lying about something so important to his best friend. Though in this scene, Buck seems to be mostly using Eddie's name to circumvent the necessity of mentioning Tommy's name and to deflect any probing question about his identity. Once he accidently lets it slip that he was on a date with a guy, he pretty much drops the whole Eddie act entirely.

[theoraeeken]

I saw a post a while ago about Tommy and Buck running into Buck's exes, but I'd be interested in them running into Tommy's exes (boyfriend and/or girlfriends)

i spent such a long time fleshing out an OC for this tiny little oneshot but i could not get this out of my head gfhdhsjjdf.

EDIT: okay this isn't tiny and maybe i got over excited.

bucktommy / rated t / prompt requests still open

-

"Tommy?"

Chim stops mid-sentence, hands still up in a gesture, and his mouth is a little open as he looks over Buck's shoulder, behind him. Hen and Eddie seem similarly afflicted. Confused, Buck turns around, and-

Woah.

Buck's not unfamiliar with attractive people - he works in an environment with a lot of hot, athletic people, who do insane, heroic things, and since discovering that he's playing equal time for both teams, the pool of people that are nice to look at has grown considerably. That's a given. But... woah.

Green. Very green eyes.

"Dan! Oh, shit, how long has it been?" Tommy grins, getting up quickly enough that his chair scrapes against the concrete.

Hen and Chimney are doing their freaky psychic parademic mind melding communication thing, which mostly involves a lot of eyebrow movement and head tilting, and Eddie is glancing from Dan to Buck like he's nervous. This was supposed to be a chill little brunch, a catch up between friends. It's nice, being able to bring his partner to brunch like this, the same way Hen brings Karen and Chim brings Maddie. He never brought Ali, or Taylor, or any of his girlfriends. For reasons he could never quite pinpoint, he never wanted to let his worlds collide like that.

But Tommy is already part of his world. He's got inside jokes with Chim and Hen that Buck still doesn't quite get. He brings his own stories about the job, and he can laugh at everyone elses without getting maudlin and worried the way any of Buck's exes would. Tommy is as much a part of Buck's world as Buck is of his.

Except, Tommy's world apparantly has other things in it. Like Dan. Dan with the very green eyes, and the black hair swept carelessly back off his face like he thinks he's a 90's movie star, a little grey peppered at his temples and a t-shirt that has to be at least two sizes too small. Dan with his arm around Tommy's shoulder, and a 1000 watt smile dangerously close to Tommy's mouth, like he's not 100% committed to pulling out of this extremely long hug.

"What are you doing in California? You miss the sunshine?" Tommy asks, his hand still very noticably on Dan's hip.

"Don't even say that, those Oregon winters are no joke," he huffs, "Nah, I'm down for my sister's wedding."

"Emily's getting married? What the hell, she was barely out of college last time I checked."

"Yeah, Tommy, that was six years ago," he laughs, "All grown up now, marrying some IT geek from San Diego. Don't know what he did to deserve her, but my balls have been well and truly threatened if I give him anymore shit."

They chat for another few minutes, completely oblivious to the audience they have, oblivious to the way that Buck's hands are clenching into fists under the table. Tommy's usually so poised, straight-backed, almost stoic. Even his humour is deadpan, but Buck relishes the moments where he can tease easy smiles and full body laughs and dorky jokes out of him. Dan and his pretty eyes seem to have that down pat, too.

"Uh, I feel like I've crashed a party here, Tom."

Tommy blinks, looking back over at their table.

"Shit, sorry," he says, "I should have said. These are the good folks of the 118 firehouse. You probably know Hen and Howie by reputation, and this is Karen and Maddie," Tommy indicates each of them in turn, and they give a wave, "That's Eddie, and this is my boyfriend, Evan."

He says is so casually, like it costs him nothing, and it drags a smile out him the way it always does. Boyfriend. Buck stands, offering a hand. There are still half-cresent marks on his palm from where he'd dug his nails in.

"Good to meet you, man."

"You too, Evan."

"Buck," he says reflexively, "People call me Buck."

"Sure," he says easily.

Tommy is staring at him, face unreadable, but he smiles anyway, polite, almost professional.

"This is Dan Archer, and he used to be the best damn EMT in California," he says, clapping him on the shoulder, "until he deserted us for the PFR."

"Portland, huh? That's a good department to work for, from what I hear," Hen grins, "You guys were trialling those new electric ambulances in 2019, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Dan laughs, "All green, baby. Not that it matters when you're pulling another hiker out the Cascades in mid-December, but for some reason no one wanted to put the funding into my caterpillar-tread gurneys idea."

Chim snorts, "Shit, that's a good one. We should start lobbying for that, Hen."

"Ain't that the truth," she mutters.

"I don't have that problem," Tommy says smugly. Dan punches him in the arm, "You wanna stick around? This place some amazing bruschetta."

The collective inhale the table takes is probably loud enough to hear across the street. Eddie puts his coffee down like he's worried he's going to have to do something that involves having both of his hands free, like restrain Buck.

"Nah, I'm just doing a coffee run, then I've got to get back to the pre-festivities festivities," Dan shrugs, apparantly oblivious, "And maybe buy a shotgun to clean somewhere in view of Samuel."

Tommy laughs, "Give 'em hell, Archer. And don't be a stranger."

"You neither, Kinard," he grins, "I'll take you up on that bruschetta before I head back North."

"You better."

Tommy sits back down, and puts a hand on Buck's thigh. Nothing salacious or suggestive, just the weight of his palm and the heat of his skin. Familiar. The group lapses back into the same kind of easy chatter that they had before. Maddie and Chim talking about something cute Jee had done last week. Hen recounts in detail the call out they got that ended with having to deep bleach the inside of the ambulance. Buck takes a hold of Tommy's wrist, feels his pulse against his fingers, a steady, paitent beat.

-

Tommy's mouth paints lines of heat against Buck's shoulders. He's on his stomach in Tommy's bed - their bed, really, with how often Buck is here these days - propped up on his elbows. There's a book open on the pillow in front of him, something he found on Tommy's bookshelf about the history of the American rail network. It's been open on the same page for the last ten minutes, Buck's eyes somewhere in the middle distance.

There's temptation here, in the form of Tommy's half naked body pressed up alongside his, the hand on his lower back, his mouth. But Buck's mind is going a mile a minute.

"Baby," Tommy murmers, lips pressed to the nape of his neck.

"How do you know him?"

Tommy stills, just a moment where he freezes, before he exhales.

"I don't know if I like you thinking about other men while I'm trying to seduce you."

"Well, he is a very handsome man," Buck mutters, before he can help himself.

Tommy snorts, "Seriously?"

"It's ridiculous," he grumbles, "He's a paramedic, not a model. What's he even-"

Tommy muffles his laughter into Buck's shoulder, his body shaking with it. It should irritate him, it should make him feel belittled and mocked, but the way Tommy curls over Buck's naked back, smudging kisses into his hair and muttering his name softens the blow.

"I'm being an idiot, aren't I?" he says flatly, and it just makes Tommy laugh harder.

"No, Evan, you're being jealous, and possessive, and very sweet," he says, indulgent. Tommy is always indulgent with him, and Buck aches with how much he doesn't deserve it, "I know there's no way for me to say this without it sounding sarcastic, but I really do think that you glaring daggers at my ex like you're thinking about burying him under a carpark is extremely attractive."

Buck huffs, "So, he is your ex."

"Yes, he's my ex," he says, trailing a finger down the dip of Buck's spine, "We dated for nearly a year, the first year I moved to Harbour. He was my first serious relationship after I came out."

Buck doesn't really know what to say to that. Tommy represents a whole lot of firsts to Buck. First kisses, first touches, first fucks. Not first ever, obviously, but a kind of first all their own. And maybe Buck is always going to be a too much, too fast kinda guy, but he can't imagine getting over that, getting over him. Not even after five, six years.

"It ended amiciably. He got the job offer from Portland. Captaincy. Dan's job is important to him, too important to pass it up. I understood that."

"Do you miss him?"

Tommy kisses his shoulder, "All the time. He's been a good friend to me over the years."

"Do you see him very often?"

"Handful of times, since he moved," Tommy smiles, curling his fingers into the hair at the back of Buck's neck, "Came down for Harris' retirement. Couple years ago, we met up while he visiting family. I went up to Portland last year, too."

"Oh?" Buck says, feigning indifference and probably missing it by a mile, "How was it?"

"It was great. Awesome city. Great hiking in the area, and the ceremony was beautiful."

"What ceremony?" Buck asks, jerking up.

"You would have cried," Tommy continues like he didn't even hear him, like he didn't almost just headbutted in Buck's eagerness tosit upright, "I bet you always cry at weddings, but you definitely would have cried at this one. I bawled like a baby."

Buck shoves at Tommy's chest playfully, and he bounces when his back hits the mattress, laughing again.

"What wedding?"

"Dan's wedding," Tommy grins, "to his husband, Jake. Who he loves very very much."

He groans, shoving his head into the pillow, but Tommy doesn'tlet him mope about it for very long. A strong pair of hands roll him flat onto his back, and Tommy wastes absolutely no time in covering his body with his own, pushing between his legs and kissing him halfway to stupid. Which doesn't bode well for Buck, who's pretty sure he was more than halfway there already.

"You're ridiculous," Tommy says fondly, pressing a kiss to Buck's cheek.

"I know," he sighs, "I'm sorry."

Tommy kisses him again, before propping himself upon his elbows, "We're gonna talk about this properly tomorrow, about you being this worried about me... leaving? Or being interested in other people? Whatever it is, okay? We're gonna talk about it, because I don't actually want you to be upset, Evan," he says softly, "but you don't need to apologise for being jealous. It's just an emotion."

"Not the best emotion on me, though," Buck sighs, "It's not even rational."

"Maybe," Tommy shrugs, "but I wasn't lying when I said I like it on you sometimes. I don't regret my relationship with Dan, so what's rational about me liking how much you wish you were the only one who has ever touched me?"

Tommy's got a talent for taking Buck's most ridiculous thoughts, his worst traits, the ugliest sides of him, and rearranging all the pieces so that they actually make sense. He's so steadying, like a hand on his back while he feels like he's constantly walking on a tightrope. All of it is like water off a duck's back to Tommy, even when it feels like Buck's about to drown in it.

"God, please just kiss me," Buck whispers, half because he wants to, he always wants to, and half because it minimises the risk of saying anything else stupid, like 'I hate your gorgeous hero of an ex just because he got to kiss you before I did', or 'I like myself better when I'm with you than I ever had before', or 'I love you', or 'please don't talk about weddings around me because I'm terrified of the images in my head right now and how good you look in a suit'.

"Yeah?" Tommy breathes, his mouth hovering just over Buck's, "You gonna be thinking about him again?"

"Thinking about who?" Buck mutters back, just to be a brat.

Tommy laughs, a gentle, soft little thing that's so, so fond, but he kisses him anyway.

[steddieas-shegoes]

He’s not sure why he even comes to these parties anymore. He used to sell at the frat houses, made his rounds until he was out of product, made more money than any minimum wage job he could find near campus.

But he hasn’t in a while. Months, at this point.

It’s just that every time he came to one of these idiotic showing of riches and popularity, the most beautiful man he’d ever seen was sitting in the corner of the kitchen watching with a faraway look in his eyes. Sometimes he stood in a group of people in the living room, but never contributed to the conversation. Once, Eddie saw him swinging his feet back and forth in the water of the hot tub on the back patio with three different couples making out inside it, completely zoned out.

Eddie needs to keep an eye on him. Hence, he attends the stupid parties.

And it’s stupid, to go through so much trouble for a guy he doesn’t even know, who probably doesn’t even notice him back. It’s stupid, but Eddie’s never claimed to be very bright.

Which is probably why he walks up to the guy when he’s about two seconds from punching Tommy Hagan, grabs his wrists, and tugs.

“The fuck are you?” He asks Eddie, reasonably confused and angry at being interrupted by a stranger.

Eddie could feel his pulse against his fingers, swore he could feel a spark of electricity flow between them.

“Eddie. Just leave him. Whatever he did isn’t worth it,” he said through clenched teeth.

His fingers tightened around Steve’s wrists as he considered trying to pick him up, throw him over his shoulder, and walk out of this party entirely.

“How the hell do you know?” Steve wasn’t trying to pull away.

Eddie didn’t let himself think about that too much.

“I just know nothing Hagan does is ever worth trouble for you. C’mon,” Eddie tugged on his wrists again, and this time, it seemed to catch the guy off guard.

“Didn’t know you were into freaks, Harrington,” Tommy said as they took a few steps away from him. “If you’re gonna be gay, you could at least have taste.”

Eddie froze.

The guy, Harrington, tried to pull his wrists loose, but Eddie didn’t let him.

He turned to Tommy, the guy who almost got him arrested for selling at his party only a few months ago, and smirked.

If he was gonna out someone to a stranger, Eddie had no problem doing the same right now.

“And you just sucked my dick because you wanted to add it to your résumé?” Eddie grinned at Tommy, who quickly looked around to make sure no one else heard.

“As if I would-“ he tried to say, but Harrington cut him off.

“You forget you say shit when you’re high. You told me about it already. I think your exact words were, ‘he had the best dick I’ve ever seen, Steve.’ Or am I mixing that up with another dick?” Steve pulled one arm loose from Eddie’s grip, brushed hair from his face, and let it relax at his side.

Eddie could let go now, he was sure if anyone would start something at this point it would be Tommy. But Steve wasn’t trying to pull his other wrist loose and Eddie liked the warmth of him in his hand.

“Whatever man, just go. You don’t even wanna be here,” Tommy turned and left before Steve could respond.

Eddie finally let go, but he didn’t like the immediate sense of loss that filled his chest.

“You always interrupt strangers before they fight?” Steve asked him, hands shoved into his pockets.

Eddie really looked at him, inspected him. He only ever saw him at these parties, so the lighting was shit, but he’d noticed the dark shadows under his eyes a while ago. He noticed that he held himself in a way that showed he was always ready for a fight. Steve’s hair had gone flat over the last month or so, not nearly as voluminous or shiny as it had been at the start of the year.

“Are you okay?” He asked instead of answering the question.

“I’m fine, dude.”

Eddie shook his head. “You don’t seem okay.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Just seems like something is bothering you,” Eddie wouldn’t push more, not if Steve was actually gonna get mad. But something told him that nobody pushed Steve to talk enough.

Eddie had Wayne back home, and his friends in his band here, and a couple coworkers at the bar he worked at twice a week now that he could joke around with. Steve didn’t even seem to have the people he hung around with.

“Why does it matter to you if something is bothering me?”

That’s a fair question. Why does it matter to him?

“Maybe because I just wanted to help. That’s what people do, right?”

“Not for me, usually.”

Eddie stepped closer, barely leaving space between them. “Well, I am.”

Steve stared back at him, shoulders dropping and eyes losing that angry fire.

“Why?”

Eddie was an idiot sometimes, but he was able to read people pretty well. It’s what kept him safe for most of middle and high school, and made him friends in college.

He knew what it looked like to be lonely and depressed, and Steve had check marks next to both of those.

“You wanna get out of here?” Eddie asked, once again avoiding his question.

“And go where?”

“I’ll show you my favorite getting high spot.”

“I don’t really smoke with strangers,” Steve seemed nervous.

“You don’t have to smoke. I’m just gonna show you the place.”

He watched Steve think about it, noting the way his brows scrunched together, how he bit his bottom lip, how he looked at the ground instead of at Eddie.

“Fine. But if you murder me in the woods, my mom will have you hanged,” Steve finally said.

“Hanged? Do they even do that anymore?”

Steve giggled. “Probably not. But she’d find a way.”

“Well, I’ve got no interest in murdering you, big boy.”

The blush that filled Steve’s cheeks was stunning. A perfect pink dusting his skin, giving him a healthier glow than what he’d had for a while.

“What do you have interest in?”

Eddie could say any number of things to flirt, make his true intentions clear, maybe even go straight back to his single dorm instead of showing Steve anywhere.

But Eddie figured that’s all Steve was used to, or maybe he was always the one who had to put an effort into things.

Maybe he wasn’t used to getting treated like a human being.

“I’d like to get to know you. Parties like this aren’t really a good place to learn about someone’s favorite song or what they snack on when they wake up in the middle of the night.”

Steve seemed shocked by this answer, but his features quickly melted into a soft smile, one Eddie would want to see every single day.

“Fine. But it’s not a date,” Steve held out his hand, ready to be led.

Instead of lacing his fingers with Steve’s, or even just grabbing his hand in his palm, he wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist again.

“We’ll see.”

———

On graduation day, Steve and Eddie found their way back to their spot, one they’d probably never visit again.

Eddie’s fingers were curled around Steve’s wrist as they stood facing each other, close enough to feel each other’s breaths against their lips.

Nearly two years together, nearly 300 trips to this spot, and more than 500 dates that they never called dates.

And it was just the beginning.

Eddie leaned in to press his lips to Steve’s gently, keeping it soft so they wouldn’t get carried away.

They had to meet Wayne at the Italian restaurant in less than an hour and then Steve’s mom expected them back at Steve’s apartment for a wine and dessert celebration.

They wouldn’t be properly alone like this again for at least a couple days, but they didn’t have time to do much about it right now.

“I love you,” Eddie whispered as he rested his forehead against Steve’s.

“I love you, too,” Steve said back.

He didn’t have dark shadows under his eyes anymore, spending more nights sleeping in bed with Eddie than awake at parties he didn’t want to be at. His hair had most of its shine back. He’d put on a few pounds after joining the gym again, using it as an outlet for stress instead of hiding in corners at parties where he would drink just enough to get buzzed four times a week.

He made friends with Eddie’s friends, plus some of his own when he got a part time job at the coffee shop on campus.

Steve never spoke to Tommy again, at least as far as Eddie knew. He didn’t seem interested in being his friend again, and once he told Eddie more about their “friendship”, he couldn’t really blame him.

“You ready to go see Wayne?” Steve asked him, probably more excited than even Eddie was.

Wayne and Steve bonded quickly and they’d probably spend most of the lunch talking about sports and where they would go fishing this summer.

Eddie nodded, but he pulled something from his pocket before Steve could pull away and start walking back to the car they now shared.

“What’s that?” Steve asked, pointing towards the envelope in Eddie’s hand.

“It’s a gift from me to you. Well, I guess both of us, but I really got it for you.”

He handed it to Steve, who opened it quickly.

He pulled out the paper inside and Eddie watched his eyes fly across the words written there.

“Eddie.”

“Stevie.”

“You got us a trip to Italy? How the fuck did you get us a trip to Italy?” Steve was looking at him, eyes wet with tears.

“Doesn’t matter how. Wayne gave us some money for it, so did your mom. I’ve been saving for a year. Want us to have something special before we have to start working.” Eddie kissed his forehead. “Plus I want any excuse to see you in some of those see-through linen shorts.”

Steve’s lips were on his, his arms wrapped around Eddie’s neck. Eddie wrapped his arms around his waist to hold him there.

“I’ll wear them every day,” he gasped as he leaned in for another kiss.

Eddie laughed. “You won’t hear any complaints from me, sugar.”

“I can’t believe you did this. All I got you was a t-shirt.”

“You know I love t-shirts. I know you love Italy. It’s a win-win for both of us.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but kissed him again.

His eyes widened. “Oh my god. Are you gonna propose in Italy?”

Eddie snorted. “Why would I answer that question?”

“Because! I have to know!”

“Why?”

“So I can make sure I have a nice outfit for pictures, dumbass.”

“You’ll just have to wait and see. You look good in everything,” Eddie kissed the top of his head before he wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist and tugged on it once. “Let’s get to Wayne before he sends a search party.”

Eddie smiled to himself as they walked to the car, Steve’s rambling about what he wanted to do in Italy keeping his mind from wandering too far. He couldn’t help thinking about the ring he had stashed away in his guitar case, though.

Italy was the perfect place to propose.

[bleedingoptimism]

It’s a little after eleven when Eddie finally manages to get Tarja to bed. It’s hard for her without her plushie. And really, Eddie is very thankful having a hyper-fixation with her toy seems to be the only ‘consequence’ of having divorced parents Tarja seems to have right now. He always worries if having two homes and constantly moving between them is good for her or not. Especially with Tommy being Tarja’s other dad, but against all odds, he’s good to her. So their kid is doing just fine. She’s happy. And if she’s happy, Eddie is happy.

He’s getting ready to open a beer and relax when there’s a knock on the door. He smiles, assuming is Steve bringing Toothless over and almost knocks his beer to the floor when he opens the door.

Steve looks… well he looks amazing, dressed to the nines. Must’ve been date night. But his eyes are red and puffy, his face covered in dark blotches, and his lips are swollen like he’s been biting them too much.

He’s hugging Toothless to his chest and he smiles at Eddie when he sees him, but he looks so sad it breaks his heart.

Eddie throws the beer behind him, sure it will land on the couch and cradles Steve’s face between his hands, “What did that asshole do?

Steve leans into his touch and shuts his eyes for a moment before sighing and stepping away from him, walking inside and sitting on the couch still holding Toothless like a lifeline. 

“Nothing, he was just-” Steve shakes his head and chuckles darkly, “He’s just so mean,” 

Eddie drops to his knees in front of him and dips his head to look Steve in the eye just like he did that day in the park.

“Break up with him,” he says.

“I can’t.”

“Tommy doesn't deserve you, Steve. You are worth so much more than what that asshole makes you feel. You deserve better. More. Everything,” Eddie pleads, placing his hands on Steve’s knees and squeezing, “If it’s because of Tarja, we’ll figure something out, ok? Lots of people keep in contact with their parent’s significant other after they break up” He rushes, the speech he didn't have quite prepared last week coming out of him in a single breath, “We are friends, right? So you can still visit and see her. Visit me. You don’t have to stop being a part of our lives.” 

Steve is staring at him right now like Eddie just gifted him the moon and he’s so beautiful it’s kind of hard for Eddie to keep eye contact, but he squeezes Steve’s knees again to ground himself and does. Steve needs to know he’s very serious about this. About him.

Eyes shining, Steve takes a deep breath and nods slowly, a tear falling down his cheek that Eddie follows with his eyes and watches until it hides under Steve’s v-neck shirt.

“Hey, even I didn’t put up with Tommy's shit for Tarja’s sake and I birthed her,” he jokes awkwardly, trying to make him laugh and feels like doing a little victory dance when Steve snorts cutely,

“Okay,” he hiccups.

“Yeah?” Eddie smiles back at him, relieved.

“Yeah,” Steve sighs, “Fuck Tommy.” And drops back on the couch, looking exhausted, “Can I stay here tonight?” he asks in a whisper, like he’s afraid Eddie will say no. As if.

“Yeah, of course,” Is what he answers, and has half a mind to invite him into his bed but knows it’s a terrible idea. So he lends Steve his favorite flannel pajamas and sets blankets and a pillow on the couch and they say their goodnights.

And if he does a little dance when he closes the door to his room, no one is there to see.

In the morning, Steve stays for breakfast. And attempts to kill Eddie by making his heart explode, cooking it himself from scratch with Tarja’s help, who is so happy she won’t stop running around the kitchen making Toothless fly and sing about ‘happy family breakfast time’.

It’s actually hard to tell if she’s happier to have her plushie back or that Steve is there. Eddie, on the other hand, knows exactly what he’s happiest about. Death by tenderness. Is that a thing? He amuses himself thinking about a couple csi’s with sunglasses saying it, 

“He died because he witnessed something too cute,”

“Ah yes, death by fondness. I’ve seen it before.”

After, Eddie walks him to the door and Steve smiles sweetly at him, and holds his hand, squeezing it once before letting go, “Well, see you. I guess,” he says bashfully and there’s a moment there, a second where time stops and Eddie thinks he should kiss him. Wants to kiss him, needs to kiss him.

But he doesn’t. Because Steve is still dating Tommy, and just because he said he was going to break up with him doesn’t mean he wants to start something new with Eddie.

Eddie himself called him his friend for the first time last night for christ sake. ‘Fucking chill’ he thinks to himself.

🧸

And then a week goes by without hearing a word from Steve. But Eddie doesn't hold it against him.

At first, he figures he needs time to think but then he starts to wonder if he really is going to break up with Tommy. Four days in, he gets paranoid about it. Maybe Steve got brainwashed into thinking Eddie is bad for him. Maybe Tommy told him Eddie was putting ideas in his head, that he shouldn’t talk to him anymore… With him telling Steve to break up with his boyfriend and all... 

He’s well aware of how manipulative Tommy can be and has seen the way he belittles Steve to keep him around, so he knows it’ll be hard for Steve to actually go through with it.

And he can’t exactly show up at Tommy’s and steal Steve away, no matter how appealing the idea might be. The only thing he can do is just think of Steve, wish him well, and send him strength to do what he needs to do. At the end of the day, it needs to be his decision. His choice.

As Tommy’s week with Tarja approaches he starts getting more and more anxious, wondering if it’ll be Steve or Tommy who picks her up.

When the day finally arrives, and the doorbell rings, Tarja runs to open the door and Eddie peeks his head through the hallway.

“Daddy!” Tarja screams.

“Hey, Tata! You ready?” Tommy says and Eddie steps into the hall to greet him too.

“Not yet!” Tarja chuckles and Tommy smiles at her,

“Okay, go get ready. I’ll wait here,”

Eddie walks to the door and leans on the doorframe, “Hey,”

“Hi. Long time no see,” Tommy says and then adds, “You look great,”

“You don’t,” Eddie answers, because it’s true. He looks like shit. Greasy hair, bags under his eyes, chapped lips, wrinkles on his clothes, “What happened?”

“Steve broke up with me.” 

Eddie’s eyes go wide and he smiles, he doesn’t even try to hide it, “He did?”

“Don’t smile, fucker,” Tommy says but there’s no heat behind it. He knows he deserves it.

“Sorry,” Eddie says, not sorry at all.

“Stop,” Tommy whines because Eddie’s smile is actually getting bigger,

“Sorry,” he repeats and then clears his throat, “Did he tell you why?”

“Because I’m a horrible person,” Tommy groans.

“Hey, the first step is to ad-”

“To admit it, yeah, yeah. I know” Tommy interrupts him, groaning again.

Eddie sighs, and punches Tommy’s shoulder lightly, “Look, Tommy, I’m just going to say this because, well… you are pathetic. You need to do better.” And then he points to his back, to where Tarja’s disappeared to get her stuff, “She’s going to grow up and realize you are an awful person and she’s not going to want you in her life. And I’m not going to dissuade her from it, because I already don’t want you to be in mine, you know that, right?”

Tommy looks at him seriously and then nods once, fast and hard. Like he gets it. Like he agrees and is determined to change. And Eddie hopes for Tarja’s sake he is. But knows, deep in his heart, that either way, she’s going to be fine.

“Also, just a heads up. I’m in love with Steve and I’m going to ask him out,” he adds in a rush when he hears Tarja running up behind him.

“You are shitting me,” Tommy whispers, shocked and clenching his teeth.

Eddie laughs, “Nope,” he says, closing his lips loudly around the P.

“Eddie,” Tommy warns him like he’s waiting for Eddie to say he's joking.

“What? I hear he’s single,” Eddie smirks.

“You motherfuc- Hey Tata!” Gathering Tarja in his arms, Tommy drops the subject but he glares at Eddie as he kisses Tarja’s cheek goodbye and murmurs ‘unbelievable’ as he’s leaving. Eddie closes the door and starts laughing at the look on Tommy’s face.

He needs to call Steve.

He tries a couple of times but he doesn’t pick up and he starts worrying Steve might not actually want to talk to him, and then there’s a knock on the door but Eddie, too preoccupied with his anxiety, opens without looking, thinking Tarja forgot something.

When he doesn't hear her, Eddie looks up from his ‘ignored calls’ screen to see nonother than Steve standing there, looking nervous and like a fucking dream with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. A fucking bouquet of flowers. For him. For Eddie. All different shades of red, because he knows is his favorite color.

Eddie just blinks at him a couple of times and Steve flushes even more and drops the hand holding up the flowers, scratches the back of his neck nervously, “This was stupid, the flowers were fucking stupid. They are stupid. I’m stupid, right?”

A laugh bubbles out of Eddie and he grabs him by the scruff of his shirt and pulls him inside. He closes the door once they are both in and slams Steve against it, crushing their lips together. Steve circles his arms around Eddie and holds him close, instantly returning the kiss with fervor. 

They kiss as if it were fate. They kiss until it's hard to breathe and Eddie pulls away only to kiss him again, and again, and again.

“Not stupid,” he murmurs between kisses and feels Steve’s smile against his lips.

Eventually, Eddie takes a step back and lets Steve into his home properly, “Hi,” he says cheesily.

“Hi,” Steve says back grinning, then he lifts up the bouquet again, which is now completely ruined by him still holding it strongly while they made out like crazy, and his smile drops,

“Shit,” he pouts cutely, god Eddie wants to eat him. He laughs and takes the flowers anyway, putting them in an empty glass bottle, because he doesn’t own a flower vase, because he’s a normal human being. ‘Who the fuck owns a flower vase?’

“Come here,” he says, holding out both hands for Steve to take and follow him.

Steve takes his hands but doesn't move, instead swings them from side to side, “Wait, let's talk,”

Fuck, yeah. They should. That’s a good idea. Fuck. Damn, Steven Whatever-The-Fuck-Is-His-Middle-Name Harrington and his sensible and very logical choice…

Eddie huffs exaggeratedly making Steve chuckle and redirects them to the couch, where they sit still holding hands, “Alas,” he says dramatically, “You are right, we should talk. I actually wanted to ask you out properly, not debauch you the second you walked through the door. Sorry about that” he lies, not sorry at all, again.

Steve blushes and smiles, drawing little circles with his thumbs on Eddie’s hands, “Yeah me too. I wanna do this right. Ask you out. Go on dates. I think we should take this slow,”

Eddie makes a face and groans at that. He doesn't want to take it slow. He wants Steve to move in right now or something. Steve rolls his eyes amused at his interruption and keeps going,

“I came here to ask you out the right way because I want you to know I’m committed. But we should think about how this will affect Tarja… and Tommy too. We should go out a few times, spend some time alone, and I want you to meet my friends and my parents and I want to meet your friends and your uncle too and just do this properly and-”

Eddie interrupts him with a kiss, he can’t take it anymore, he’s been dying to kiss Steve for months now and he’s so sweet and thoughtful it makes Eddie insane, makes him feel like he needs to ruin him, but in a nice way, like with devotion and love.

Steve lets go of his hands to wrap his arms around Eddie’s waist and hoists him until he’s straddling Steve. Eddie leans his elbows on Steve’s shoulders, and buries his hands in his hair, pulling and messing with it.

“Okay but have you considered having hard, hot, wet sex, and then maybe we do what you said?” He asks panting against Steve’s lips and actually feeling how that punches the air out of him.

He hugs Eddie closer to his chest and whines, “Yeah okay, we can do it your way,” and gets up, lifting Eddie with him as if he were weightless. Eddie squawks and laughs all the way to his room.

🧸

They spend the week together, talking, eating, drinking, laughing and fucking. Except it’s more than that because when Eddie is inside Steve, with his tongue, his fingers, or his strap, it feels like more. It feels like love. Like fate.

Steve, still determined to take things slow, doesn’t stay there all the time, going back to Robin’s where he moved back to after breaking up with Tommy. He actually brings her over one day and the three of them spend the afternoon together. Eddie decides they are going to be best friends immediately because Robin is hilarious and merciless. When Steve gets back the next day he kisses Eddie so good and hard his knees almost give out on him and tells him he has Robin’s seal of approval. Something he knows Tommy never got.

When the week passes Eddie says goodbye theatrically as if they were cross-star lovers in a bad soap opera and Steve chuckles and calls him ridiculous but kisses him so passionately that Eddie drags him right back inside and they say goodbye again a few hours later.

They had decided to wait until Eddie talked to Tarja about her feelings over Tommy’s and Steve’s breakup and whether she still wanted Steve around or not before having him over again.

But when Tarja gets back home she’s gloomy and silent. She hugs Eddie in greeting when she arrives and then spends the rest of the day lying face down on the floor and occasionally sighing loudly, obviously trying to make Eddie ask her what’s wrong.

And really, Eddie shouldn't find it as funny as he does, but he thinks about calling Wayne and telling him he gets it now when Wayne used to tell him he had too much personality.

Eventually, he lies on the floor next to her and asks. Tarja looks at him with big sad eyes and says, “I haven't seen Steve in a million years! And Daddy said he is not his boyfriend anymore! So I’ll never see him again and I miss him”

Eddie coos at her, “I’m sorry you miss him little dragon, but you can totally see him again! Would you like me to call him? Since he’s my friend too?” Already trying to strategize on how to tell her they are more than friends.

Tarja lights up and jumps off the floor and onto Eddie, punching the breath out of him, “Yes! Yes! Call Steve! Steve smiles more when he’s with you than he did with daddy anyway. Why don’t you boyfriend him instead?”

Well… that was easy.

He chuckles and shakes his head, “That’s a great idea sweety, go grab my phone,”

Tarja runs and grabs Eddie’s phone off the table and hands it to him, he doesn’t bother getting off the floor so she kneels beside him listening attentively as he dials Steve’s number. 

“Hi, handsome, you talked with Tarja already?” Steve greets him after it rings twice.

“Yeah about that, turns out Tarja talked to me, actually,” he chuckles, “Hi, by the way”

“Hi,” Steve repeats lovingly and laughs, “What do you mean?”

“She had this awesome idea!” he says winking at her and she covers her mouth with her tiny hands to hide her giggles, “That, since you are not with Tommy anymore, you should be my boyfriend instead,” he continues, voice going soft and chuckles when he hears Steve's breathless ‘oh’ on the other side of the line, “Come over?”

“Of course, gimme an hour? I'm with a client” Steve hums and Eddie whispers he’ll give him anything he asks for and hangs up.

An hour later Tarja is still lying on the floor, only now it’s with papers and crayons spread all around her when the doorbell rings. She looks up at Eddie excitedly and he nods at her, “Go on then”

Tarja runs to the door and opens it wide to reveal Steve standing there as beautiful as ever, giving Eddie a deja vu of the first time he saw him.

“Papa Steve!” Tarja yells and jumps up to hug him.

Steve gasps and falls to his knees with her in his arms and looks up at Eddie with shocked wet eyes.

‘So much for taking it slow,’ Eddie thinks with a smirk.

Fin.

☝️first part

☕🥐💕?

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

-----

“Freak's looking at you.”

There's a nudge to his shoulder that makes Steve jerk up, snapping out of the daze he'd been in.

“Huh?” he asks, looking at Aaron with his brow furrowed.

Aaron nods towards a spot halfway across the cafeteria, and Steve shifts his gaze over to see Munson standing on top of one of the tables, watching him expectantly.

Shit.

“Can you repeat that, if you're expecting a response?” Steve asks. “I drifted off somewhere around comparing the swimming pool to a goldfish bowl.”

He's being honest - it's still harder to concentrate, and he saves it for classes and practice and tends to zone out when he doesn't need to pay attention - but it makes the people who were clearly listening in laugh.

Steve catches Munson's gaze and rolls his eyes, giving him an apologetic little shrug.

He's not really sure how Munson takes it, because he just bemoans the attention span of the average jock and clomps down from the table, but no one's looking at either of them anymore, so he guesses it doesn't matter.

Steve's almost disappointed. Might be kind of nice to see what Munson's like when no one's watching them, he thinks.

—

Things are okay, with him and Nancy and Jonathan.

His gaze doesn't automatically seek Nancy out in a crowd or anything - mostly because he'd always been at her side, before, so it's not like it's even something he's used to - but he still catches her gaze sometimes, still smiles and nods and doesn't say anything.

They share study hall together.

He and Nancy shared it before, of course, and logically he knows that Jonathan had it at the same time they did, but now - now they all have it together.

After the first few times of him or Nancy awkwardly veering sharply away from their previously shared table when they'd seen the other one was already there - one day they just didn't.

They don't say much, but the three of them sit together, exchanging class notes and books. Sometimes Steve sees the pinch in Jonathan's eyes and gives him a bottle of water and some ibuprofen, and sometimes Jonathan sees him squinting too hard at something and copies the passage over in bigger handwriting, and Nancy checks over both of their notes, and it's -

The jagged black cut in his heart scabs, fades, scars. He'll always love her, he thinks, but sometimes he thinks if they can get over the hurt -

Sometimes he sits with the two of them and it's the closest he's ever felt to being understood. Sometimes he thinks it's what he wanted with Tommy and Carol, all those years ago.

It's a start.

—

He runs into Munson after school, sometimes.

They don't say anything either, but after practice gets out and after Munson is done with his theater club or whatever it is, they'll see each other.

Sometimes, if Munson's selling, Steve will linger.

He doesn't really think Billy's stupid enough to point fingers at Munson, and most people are too afraid of him to do anything, but it still makes him feel a little better to keep an eye on him.

It kind of feels like no one watches out for Eddie Munson, not the way he watches out for his fellow freaks.

“What?” Munson demands one day, sidling up to Steve and slamming his goodie box down on the bench. “What're you looking for here?”

Steve frowns at him. “I told you.”

Munson's brows furrow. “You were serious about that shit? You think you're protecting me?”

“Why not?” Steve challenges.

Munson's eyes go flat. “And what's this protection going to cost me?”

Steve thinks about being offended, for a moment, before he wonders if other people have tried to make deals before, keep the other assholes of Hawkins High away from him in exchange for free weed or something.

He softens. “I haven't asked you for anything.”

Munson scowls. “Yet,” he counters. “Whatever you're thinking, if you're trying to get me to owe you, it's not happening. Fuck off, man, I don't need protecting.”

His heart clenches as he hears an echo of Max saying the same thing, and before he knows it he's reached into his chest and pulled out his heart.

The scowl melts into confusion for a brief moment before it's back in full force. “I'm still not showing you mine,” Munson retorts.

“I still haven't asked,” Steve counters. “I don't want anything, man, all right? Just looking out in case Billy tries something.”

Or anyone else, now that Steve thinks of it, but even with his heart pumping in a steady truth, he's not sure Munson'll believe that.

“Just like that,” Munson says flatly, after a moment of watching Steve's heart. “And what do your knights of the round table think of this?”

Steve's nose scrunches. “What?”

“Your knights.” Munson waves his hand dismissively, but - his tone isn't mean, isn't condescending. “It's a King Arthur reference.”

It's nice, that he isn't being shitty about Steve not understanding something.

“Right. So that makes me King Arthur, and you're - what was it again, the court jester?” Steve asks, giving him a little smile to show he's teasing.

“If we're doing King Arthur, I'm going with Merlin,” Eddie says.

“The old guy with the beard and pointy hat?” Steve asks.

Eddie puts his hands on his hips, fluttering his eyelashes. “You think I couldn't pull it off?”

Steve plays along, making a show of looking him up and down. “You know what, sure, you've got the right look for gray haired old man.”

“Asshole,” Eddie tells him, but he doesn't sound pissed anymore. “You know you're cutting into my profits, right? People see you lingering and they're less likely to come buy.”

Steve's brows furrow. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, really. Only the desperate want to make illicit purchases under the watchful eye of Hawkins High's once and future king.”

Steve's quiet for a moment. “I'll stand farther away, make myself look busy.”

Eddie glowers. “Seriously? You're not giving this up?”

Honestly - Steve probably should. But he's stubborn, and Eddie throwing a fit about it kind of just makes him want to do it more.

“Who looks out for you?” he asks instead of answering.

Eddie looks thrown. “What?”

“That's why you do it, right? Why you started walking on tables and making yourself a target. It takes attention off of the guys younger than you.” Steve's trying to make a point, so he slides right over the fact that they both know everyone's younger than Eddie - this is his second senior year, after all. “So everyone watches you.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, a little bit of an edge back in his voice. “You watch me, Harrington?”

“No,” Steve replies, blunt and honest. “Not really. Not before.”

“Not before Billy Hargrove tried to blame me for bashing your head in with his fists?” Eddie asks.

“He smashed a plate over it, actually,” Steve shoots back. “But yeah, something like that.”

Steve's heart gives an erratic beat. It wasn't a lie, but apparently it wasn't enough of the truth, either. Eddie gives him a pointed look.

“There's these kids I babysit,” Steve says, slow and careful. “They're into the same things you are. They're gonna be in high school next year, and I won't be here. Neither will you, but it just made me think - I'd want someone like you looking out for them.”

Eddie watches his heart for a moment.

“What are their names?” he asks. “Yeah, I won't be here, but Jeff will be. I can tell him to look out for them.”

Relief swoops through Steve, and he doesn't even care when Eddie gives him a funny look after he includes Mike and Will along with Dustin, Lucas, and Max.

He won't admit it, but it helps.

—

The next day, Eddie sits next to him at lunch.

He makes a big deal of it, hamming it up as he hops over the bench and plops down, pulling out a sandwich and some chips and flattening out his lunch bag to make a plate for them.

Steve's sitting with the swim team today, and he watches some of the guys side eye Eddie like they're not sure what the joke is and who the punchline is supposed to be. He watches some of them look at him with disgust, too, and those he carefully files away to keep an eye on later.

“My liege!” Eddie announces cheerfully. “How fair you and your knights of the round table on this fine afternoon?”

“Your king is doing just fine, as long as you keep your boots on the ground and away from the top of the lunch table,” Steve retorts.

“Is this like when Carol used to call her and Tommy Duke and Duchess?” Jacob asks.

“Are we doing that, are we knights now?” Dorian asks, his eyes lighting up a little.

Dorian gets straight A's, Steve remembers that. English is his best class.

“Sure, why not?” Steve says, shrugging carelessly, even as he shoots a smile at Dorian. “You can be Sir Galahad.”

Michael groans. “Don't encourage him, this is stupid.”

Tanner snorts. “From the guy who calls his girlfriend princess.”

Michael flushes. “Shut up! It's just so Ashley will stop whining.”

“Uh-huh.” Jacob elbows him. “We've all heard you at Tina's parties pledging to be her knight in shining armor.”

They have, apparently, completely forgotten Eddie's existence as they fall back to ribbing on each other.

Steve turns to him, finding him watching the table with a narrow, calculating gaze.

“Eat your lunch,” Steve says. “My knights don't give a shit.”

These ones, anyway, and as long as Steve's there, but he's not going to say that.

They both know it.

Still, Eddie keeps it up. It's not every day, or every other day, or in any kind of recognizable pattern, but he'll plop himself down next to Steve's side like he belongs there whenever he feels like it.

Steve largely treats it like he doesn't give a shit, and most of the people he tends to sit with follow suit, if a couple of them can't seem to resist making snide little comments.

It's always the ones who make snide comments to everyone, the kind of assholes that Steve can't wait to get away from, so he mostly ignores it.

The sixth or seventh time it happens, Steve drops his apple on Eddie's folded over lunch bag.

Eddie stares at him.

“What?” Steve asks. “You're going to get scurvy if you keep eating nothing but bologna and Doritos for lunch.”

Eddie snorts. “I look like an eighteenth century pirate captain?”

Steve makes a show of looking him up and down again. “You look like something,” he replies.

Completely unexpectedly, Eddie flushes a little, picking up the apple and taking a comically large bite out of it.

Steve grins.

—

Steve's at swimming practice after school when Nancy and Jonathan show up.

The second he sees them hovering near the back door, he hauls himself up out of the pool, barely pausing to grab a towel on the way.

“What's happened?” he asks immediately, low and quick.

Jonathan's expression is a mess of worry, like he's trying not to panic, as he says, “I can't find Will.”

“We're supposed to pick him and Mike up from the AV club,” Nancy cuts in. “But they're not there, and they're not at any of their usual places at school.”

“Or at home, or anyone else's place, or the arcade,” Jonathan adds.

Steve's chest tightens. It's stupid, kids go off to places they're not supposed to be all the time - especially these kids - but given their track record, that doesn't mean they're not in trouble. “Let me grab my stuff, I'll be right there.”

Practice is almost done, anyway.

He shrugs into his windbreaker and grabs his backpack, darting out the door to follow them. He's already digging around in the backpack to pull out the walkie talkie Dustin gave him by the time he gets to them.

“Little shit better answer,” Steve grumbles, thumbing it on. “Dustin, you there?”

There's a tense pause as they wait.

“Dustin?” Steve tries again.

Nothing.

Jonathan's face goes a little paler, and Nancy's jaw clenches.

“Hey asshole, you're the one who made me carry this around, the least you could do is respond,” Steve bitches.

This time, the walkie flares to life.

“You're supposed to say over when you're done talking, Steve!” Dustin bitches back. “Otherwise I won't know it's my turn! Over.”

“Are you serious right now? It wasn't obvious enough?” Steve asks - then, because he wouldn't put it past Dustin to be a little shit about it, and he knows Jonathan is beyond worried - “Is Will with you? Over.”

“Yeah, he's right here. Why?” Dustin asks. “Over.”

Jonathan sags with relief.

“Was he maybe supposed to meet his brother somewhere?” Steve prompts. “Over.”

Whatever Dustin had been going to say in response to that is drowned out by a chorus of “Oh shit!” and “You said you were keeping track of the time!” and “Don't tell Mom, we'll be right there!”

Nancy rolls her eyes, taking the walkie from him. “Five minutes,” she says into it. “Or we're leaving without you and you can bike home. Over and out.”

Steve's pretty sure he and Jonathan both know that she doesn't mean that, but the kids don't know it, so he's equally sure that'll light a fire under their asses.

“Hey, Dustin, do you and Lucas need a ride home?” he asks once he gets the walkie back.

“And Max?” Dustin asks. “Over.”

“And Max,” Steve agrees, assuming that's a yes. “I'll meet you out front of the high school. Over.”

He shoves the walkie back in his bag, looking up to exchange a relieved look with Nancy and Jonathan.

“See you tomorrow?” Nancy asks, though Steve gets the feeling it's more to fill the silence that's gone a little awkward, now that the potential danger's passed.

“Sure,” Steve says.

“Thanks,” Jonathan tells him, eyes fixed somewhere at his left cheekbone like he's not entirely sure where to look.

“Any time.” It comes out too flippant, though, and Steve makes a face at himself as Jonathan turns to leave.

“Hey.” Steve reaches out, fingers curled loosely around Jonathan's wrist. “I mean it, okay? Any time.”

This time, Jonathan's eyes lock on his. After a moment, Jonathan's cheeks go a little pink, and then he nods before he follows Nancy down the hall.

Steve watches them for a moment or two, then drops his backpack down on a bench a little harder than he probably should, digging around for his sweatpants.

“I don't get it.”

Steve looks up as he's halfway through putting his pants on to see Eddie sidling up next to him in the hall.

“Don't get what?” Steve asks.

Eddie nods towards where Nancy and Jonathan just were. “The three of you.”

Steve shrugs. “We're friends, not a lot to get.”

He goes back to fighting with his sweatpants, wishing he'd dried off a little more before pulling them on over his speedo. They keep sticking to his thighs.

Eddie's gone quiet, though, and when Steve glances back up, he sees Eddie staring at him.

Steve cocks one eyebrow. “What?”

Eddie flushes, looking away. “Didn't figure you'd be so comfortable with the girl who broke your heart and the guy who stole her away, is all. Or hey, maybe she's putting out for both of you, maybe Byers is-”

“Hey,” Steve cuts in, tone sharp and firm in a way he hasn't had to do since he stopped hanging out with Tommy and didn't have to hold him back when he'd gone too far anymore.

But Eddie isn't like Tommy. Maybe he doesn't know Eddie all that well, but Steve gets the feeling he only lashes out when he's feeling cornered.

“Don't be a dick, man,” Steve says, voice softening a little. “They haven't done anything to you.”

Eddie looks back at him, a little surprised, before his expression goes contrite. “You're right,” he admits, easy as anything. “Sorry. It's good that you’re friends with your ex.”

Steve's sort of friends with most of his exes, but that's not the same. None of them were ever Nancy. “I do better as part of a trio,” he says instead of anything else, because it's kind of true.

Then, because he doesn't actually want to field any questions about that -

“Besides,” Steve adds. “If you've heard the rumors, you'd know that's not the kind of threesome I'm into.”

Eddie snorts inelegantly, like he's trying to cover up a laugh. “You telling me I should be putting stock in all the rumors I hear about you, Stevie?”

“Of course not. But the ones about my skills in the bedroom?” he shoots back. “Every word is truth.”

It's not, really. Or, well - not the one about the threesomes. Steve doesn't think sitting between two girls on the couch at a house party and going back and forth between kissing them counts as a threesome.

But it'd never been a hardship to combat that particular rumor, not when it meant he could take his time reassuring the girl he was with that no, he didn't want anyone else there, when he could spend a while making sure she felt important, felt good.

He thinks he'd kind of like spending some time making Eddie feel important.

Steve has no idea what the hell he's supposed to do with thoughts like that.

But he does know the way Eddie's eyes have lingered over his thighs and the line of his stomach and chest peeking out from his open windbreaker, and he-

“You want to find out which rumors are true, you just let me know,” he hears himself say.

Eddie doesn't bite, rolling his eyes and shoving him before he heads off, but Steve isn't deterred.

He hadn't missed the way Eddie's hand had lingered, either.

—

Steve and Eddie have free period together.

Well. Steve has a free period, at least. He's honestly not sure Eddie isn't just ditching, but it doesn't really matter.

They hang out together anyway.

They don't really say much, just - exist in the same space. Sometimes in the smoking area, sometimes at the track, sometimes at the picnic table, sometimes somewhere else in the woods.

They sit too close together when they're in the woods, shoulders or knees always touching.

A few times, Steve takes out his heart, lets himself breathe.

Eddie always glares at it, mutters, “I'm still not showing you mine, Harrington.”

Steve shrugs, tells him he still hasn't asked, and that's it.

Steve'll miss it once he graduates.

—

He graduates, and doesn't go to college, doesn't see Nancy or Jonathan or Eddie much anymore, and it's - it's fine.

He still hangs out with the kids, starts putting in job applications, and it's fine.

He's fine.

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

-----

Part 5

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt

[megalony]

Please, Hurry Up- Part 2

This is the second part of my new Tommy x Eddie x Buck x Reader imagine, thank you all for the amazing feedback on the first part. I hope you will all like this next one.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana

@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @itshamleth @loveyouamory

@loverbeesblog

Buddie Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: All of their friends and family turn up to their baby shower, but so do Evan's parents. And things don't go quite to plan.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Looking good."

Tilting her head to one side, (Y/n) let a smile trickle across her lips when her eyes landed on Chris. He paused midway through rushing down the hall and a cheesy grin curved over his lips and put creases in his eyes.

He looked himself up and down before beaming his smile at (Y/n). She didn't know where he got his bundle of energy from. All of them knew Chris hadn't slept much last night, he had been riding high on adrenaline, much the same as Evan had been. They were all excited and flooded with anticipation for today. It was the baby shower.

Chris loved any excuse for a party, he didn't care when or where it was or why they were celebrating. He just loved to have everyone gathered together and the music and the atmosphere always brought out the best in him. Parties were his scene, and Eddie had a big family so Chris was forever invited to birthdays and anniversaries and weddings.

Today was better though, this was something for him to celebrate. This was an event Chris could join in with and not just be additional family. This was for his baby brother or sister.

"You want help?" Chris held his hand out somewhat expectingly towards (Y/n) and his smile melted her heart.

"Thank you sweetheart," She didn't technically need his help right now, but it was too sweet an offer to turn down.

(Y/n) let Chris take her hand while she pressed her other palm against the wall to steady herself. She still couldn't put a lot of weight on her left foot, even a week after her fall. The swelling had finally started to go down, but her foot wasn't a normal colour and she was walking with a limp and forever tilting towards the right like she was about to fall over.

He gave her hand a squeeze and took the lead down the hall, making sure to walk slow so (Y/n) could keep up with him.

She had to walk on her tiptoe mostly when she put any weight on her left foot and her knee was forever bent forward rather than being held straight. It made her feel like a flamingo with the way she constantly stood and leaned and held one leg up. But this was the only way (Y/n) could balance and walk unaided, and she wasn't going to use crutches.

The pair of them headed down the hall and made their way into the kitchen, pausing on the threshold to watch the scene in front of them.

Neither of them could make out what Evan was preparing, but it smelled good. He was leant over the counter, seemingly doing five jobs at once. He unwrapped clingfilm from silver trays, set cakes down onto plates and spun round to move some mini bites from a hot tray whilst trying not to burn his fingers.

And then there was Eddie, about to reach out for a plate until Evan slapped his hand away without casting one glance over at him.

(Y/n) sank her teeth down in her lower lip to morph her smile when Eddie's upper lip curled and he rolled his eyes.

"I can arrange a few cakes on a plate, you know." He quipped sassily, but all he got in response was a deadpan look from Evan who looked unamused. "What, you don't trust me to carry them all the way to the table?"

"What's the rule?"

A quiet 'ooh' tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips and she gently nudged Chris, encouraging him to head off into the living room. She knew he was waiting for Eddie's parents to arrive and the moment they turned up, Chris would be at the front door to greet them.

Her arms folded over her bump and she leaned against the doorway, her head tilted against the door while her eyes focused on her boys. Evan finally straightened up and turned to face Eddie who had his hands on his hips and an unhappy expression on his face.

"I cook, Tommy cleans and you…" A hint of a smile graced Evan's lips while one hand gripped the counter and the other planted on his hip, waiting for Eddie to finish the little rule they had come up with.

"Stay out the kitchen." Eddie finished in a grumble, quirking one brow with his jaw jutting from side to side.

He was no chef, they all agreed on that, and it was a good thing that Tommy, (Y/n) and Evan were all good in the kitchen. It meant Eddie never had to cook, something Chris was also relieved about, and right now Evan was in his element. He didn't need Eddie to help try and move the food into the dining room, he just wanted to be left to his own devices in here.

Evan caught Eddie's chin in his grip and nudged his head back so he could have a kiss. His hand trailed down Eddie's neck, fluttered across his collar bone and finally rested on his chest, giving him a little shove until he sighed and backed up towards the dining room.

He didn't know what to do with himself. Evan and Maddie had been doing the food preparation, Tommy had tidied up and put a few minimal decorations up wherever Maddie told him to. All Eddie seemed to do was get dressed and wait for orders that weren't coming.

"Baby, tell him to let me help." Eddie reached his arms out for (Y/n) when she slowly hobbled into the kitchen. He held her by the waist and reeled her into his chest.

He pecked her temple and started to glide his hands up and down her waist and over the small of her back. Their chests leaned together and Eddie tilted her back like they were in a dance, but just as he peppered a kiss to her lips, his brows furrowed and he tilted his head down.

"Where's your boot?" His hands gave her hips a squeeze and he rose a brow, the firm line of his lips telling her not to bother trying to play this off.

"In the bedroom."

"You're meant to walk in it, not sleep in it, go put it on." Evan wafted the tea towel in the direction of the hallway but when he snook a glance across at her, (Y/n) frowned.

"I'm not hobbling around in that for a party, besides, I don't have to wear it all the time."

She flopped her head forward onto Eddie's shoulder and looped her arms around his neck, dragging her fingers over the short hairs at the back of his neck which made him tremor against her. The boot strapped around her foot and ankle and it went up towards the back of her knee. It didn't exactly match the outfit (Y/n) had on.

She had settled for a thin lace black top with dark tone butterflies sewn across the material. Matched with a pair of knee-length black leggings and her sandals. Heels weren't an option with her messed up ankle and the baby bump weighing her down. The boot didn't go with her outfit and (Y/n) didn't have to have it on every second of the day. She could take it off for a while to let her foot rest and she had worn it this morning while she did a few odd jobs around the house.

(Y/n) didn't want it on if they were going to be having friends over and taking pictures, she wanted to look good, not bandaged up.

"If you don't wear it you'll mess up your ankle, you're already walking around on it too much."

"Evan…"

"Go sit down until everyone arrives. And you put that boot on later." There wasn't much room for discussion in Eddie's tone and (Y/n) found herself nodding along instantly. She would wear it later when her foot started to ache, when it hurt to hobble (Y/n) knew she needed the support before she did any further damage.

She felt Eddie press a kiss to her temple and his hands lingered on her hips until she was out of reach, slowly heading through to the living room to sit with Chris.

***

When he felt an arm curve around the back of his shoulders, Eddie let himself relax back until his shoulders hit a firm chest and he felt a familiar pair of lips against the back of his head. He smiled at the hand that draped over his collar bone and the feeling of those fingers tracing random patterns over the top of his crisp white button up shirt.

A smile danced across his lips and he tilted his head back so he could look up at Tommy who curved around him like a jacket.

Tommy pressed a kiss to his cheek and leaned his temple against Eddie's for a few seconds while the music blasted through the garden and filtered through the air.

"All good?" He murmured softly, grazing his teeth across Eddie's ear which had him shivering and gripping his beer bottle tighter.

Eddie found the will to hum and nod his head when he realised he hadn't given Tommy an answer.

Everyone looked happy so far. Chris was filtering around the garden, finding different people to talk to and riding high on the adrenaline. He had spent quite a lot of time with Eddie's parents the moment they arrived, showing them his room and the nursery which he had helped decorate. Chris had finally let his grandparents have a moment to themselves before he undoubtedly would go back to them.

Evan was stood across the garden with Bobby, the pair of them looking like they were exchanging secrets nobody else would be able to hear. And they could both see (Y/n) stood with Maddie and Karen, laughing about something neither of them could hear or make out.

When (Y/n) clocked the boys looking her way, her smile seemed to melt and something flashed across her eyes like a shooting star. She leaned her head at an angle, keeping the eye contact for a few seconds.

And both of them grinned when she balanced on her right leg so she could lift up her left leg just a little. Showing off the boot Evan had graciously helped her get on ten minutes ago. She had been in pain quicker than any of them thought and she gave in almost immediately, asking Evan to help her get it on.

It didn't go with the outfit and it was annoying, (Y/n) thumped when she walked and she felt like she was making indents in the grass when she walked out in the garden. But the support stopped her from leaning too far to the right and she could put a bit more weight down on her left foot without too much flaring pain licking up her leg. When they were going to take photos, (Y/n) was taking the boot off.

Tommy grinned against Eddie's cheek but when he heard the hinges on the back gate creak, he looked over to the left.

"Babe…" His hand patted down on Eddie's chest until he twisted to look across at the gate.

They had told everyone to come through into the garden and the gate had been left open for anyone else to walk in. But they hadn't expected Evan's parents to walk through the gate.

"I thought he said he didn't invite them." Tommy kept his voice quiet and tried to fake a smile to keep the atmosphere going. They didn't need to make a scene, Evan's parents might be here giving an olive branch their way. They might not make any remarks or upset any of them, they might just show some support tonight.

"Yeah… Buck, more guests." Eddie ticked his head to the side, almost clocking his head into Tommy's nose while he raised his glass to catch their boyfriend's attention. Those were his guests and he could go and greet them and start the introductions. Eddie and Tommy were staying well away and they knew (Y/n) would keep away too.

The smile on Evan's face faded the moment he looked away from Bobby.

Why were his parents here?

He could feel his shoulders quaking and pulling up near his neck and his eyes immediately scanned around the garden until he was locking gazes with his big sister. They were both under the impression that their parents wouldn't be coming today.

Evan had told them last week about the baby. He had finally gotten through to his mum on the phone and he tried to keep his tone level and his voice calm as he explained that (Y/n) was pregnant and he was going to have another kid. Since he, Tommy and (Y/n) all considered Chris their kid too.

He had been surprised when his mother sounded happy, he had been waiting for her to chide him and tell him how many mistakes he was making with his life. He thought she would ask who's baby it actually was or tell him to walk away from the relationship like she tried to do last time they were in town. But his mum had been shockingly happy, she congratulated him and said this was 'wonderful news' and she didn't sound sarcastic.

Evan casually brought it into conversation that (Y/n) was nearly seven months along and so Maddie was throwing a baby shower. But his parents never asked if they could come and they never said they would make the trip down for the party.

He hadn't expected them, and by the look on Maddie's face, she hadn't expected them to turn up either.

He placed his beer bottle down on the nearest surface, patted Bobby's shoulder and took the deepest, most calming breath possible before he steered himself in their direction.

He wasn't ready for this.

They were bound to say something. They would give funny looks or make little comments and the last time his mum had been around (Y/n), she hadn't been kind. Eddie had quickly steered (Y/n) away last time before she started a fight.

"Hey, you came."

Shock rattled through Evan and he froze when his mum reached out to hug him. He wasn't used to hugs. They were always short and awkward, they never felt like hugging a parent, it always felt like hugging a distant aunt he never knew he had. Maddie was the one who hugged Evan like the world depended on it. She hugged him like she loved the bones of him, those were the hugs he was used to.

The only time his parents properly hugged him without feeling forced was after he had the fire truck crush his leg and they came down to see how he was recovering from his operations.

His arms cautiously curved around his mum and he let her drag him down to her due to the height difference. His eyes widened and he quietly gasped when she kissed his cheek.

"Oh, honey of course we came. This is our first grandchild, after all." She gave his biceps a tight squeeze and crinkled her nose as she smiled up at him.

His brows rose in surprise and he felt his dad pat his shoulder before he moved to set a bag down along with the other presents everyone had placed on the table near the back door. Evan dreaded to think what the present was, his parents weren't great at gifts, at least for Evan. And this wasn't for him, this was for his baby. It wasn't like they actually knew Evan on a deeper level or knew any of his partners properly so he didn't dare think what they had brought.

But it was the thought that counts and they were trying, Evan was willing to try too.

"Do you want to come and get a drink?" Evan tried not to cringe when his mum held his elbow. He wasn't used to physical contact with her and right now she was stood closer to him than she had in years.

Was this all he had to do to get his parents to accept his relationship? If he'd of known extending their family and having a baby would have brought out the acceptance in his parents, Evan would have done this sooner.

"Evan, we're so happy for you." Margaret patted Evan's arm before she let go in exchange for the drink he handed to her. He knew neither of his parents would drink, and he had no idea if they were staying in town for the night or if they were going straight back home after this. He didn't really want them to stick around, but the effort was encouraging.

"You… you are?" He looked between them, raising a brow across at Maddie when she watched Phillip pat his shoulder.

"Of course we are, you're finally settling down."

Evan nodded, somewhat pleased with his dad's words and guided them towards (Y/n) and Maddie just as Karen drifted off to find Hen and Chimney. He walked behind them, curving an arm around (Y/n)'s waist so he could kiss the top of her head and hand her another drink.

"You came," Maddie wrapped her mum up in a quick hug and kissed her dad before she stood at (Y/n)'s side again. She could feel the nervousness radiating off of her.

(Y/n) didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to act when last time she had been ready to throw fists with how rude and disrespectful Margaret had been towards all three of her partners. She took jibes at Eddie and Tommy and started putting Evan down like she always did, and (Y/n) wouldn't stand for that.

Right now, though, Margaret was smiling and she looked the calmest (Y/n) had ever seen her. It was unnerving.

"Evan, you never said on the phone, do you know what you're having? Boy or girl?" Margaret looked down towards (Y/n)'s bump and for a moment it looked like she was about to reach out, but she thought better of it and stayed put next to Phillip instead.

(Y/n) danced her fingers across her stomach and looked up at Evan, letting him take the lead on this.

"No, we're leaving it a surprise."

Maddie had begged them to find out. She asked for them to get the midwife to write it down so they could do a little reveal today at the party, but all of them disagreed. They liked the thought of keeping everyone in suspense and guessing. They wanted to wait until the birth to find out, like it was supposed to be. And Tommy had started taking bets with his friends down at the 217 and Harbour.

After a few minutes of polite chat that turned (Y/n)'s brain to mush and sent her head spinning, she slouched back against Evan's chest and tilted her head back to look up at him. Her lips curved up and she tried not to squirm when she felt his cold fingertips sliding beneath her top to feather across her bump. He knew she was ticklish, it was why he was biting down a smirk and deliberately not looking at her.

It was good to see him talking to his parents calmly for a change and not having to hold back his words or his true feelings. They weren't putting him down, they were making an effort and it was a good start.

(Y/n) gave his wrist a gentle squeeze and tilted her head to pepper a few kisses against his throat, feeling him shiver beneath her wet lips.

He kissed her temple in retaliation and leaned his head close so she could whisper in his ear.

"The baby wants some cake." Her words tickled the shell of his ear and she squeezed his hand again before she pulled out of his arms. She didn't know who Hen got to make the cake, but the baby loved it and (Y/n) needed to get some more before it was demolished. Tommy had already had two slices, Eddie was on his third and Chris kept going back for more. There wouldn't be much left soon.

She could feel Evan's hands lingering on her waist until he had to let go before he toppled over. His touch left shivers in his wake and (Y/n) found herself grinning as she slowly hobbled over to the buffet table.

The height of the boot set her off balance and it didn't feel right to wear one high heel shoe to try and level it out and (Y/n) couldn't balance in one heel and one flat strapped boot. Her weight was constantly leaning to the right to keep as much weight off her left ankle as possible and as much as the boot made her feel secure and helped her walk, the pressure didn't do much good when the swelling was only just going down.

When her right foot caught and bent at an odd angle, her hands shot out for the table to steady herself. She felt a pair of hands quickly grab her elbow and her waist, reeling her back up before she went down on her knees or crashed into the table and sent it flying.

"You okay there?"

Embarrassment tainted (Y/n)'s face as she looked up over her shoulder to find Bobby stood behind her with a calm expression and a tender look in his eyes.

"Hm, thank you." She dipped her eyes down and tried to straighten up so Bobby didn't have to keep hold of her. That was why she didn't want to wear the boot, it didn't look right and it set her off balance with every step. At least she hadn't gone down like a sack of potatoes and made a right fool of herself in front of everyone.

"No problem, so, how are you?" Bobby nodded when (Y/n) pointed to the cake, silently asking if he wanted another slice since she was cutting some for herself.

She put a slice on his plate, one on hers and plated another bit up so she could go and find Chris in a minute and hand him some before it all disappeared. Her right hip leant up against the table and she kept a steady hand on the edge, just to make sure she didn't set herself off balance again.

"I'm doing better… this things more hassle than it's worth, though." Her gaze cast down to the boot and her head ticked to the side. She took a sweeping glance around the garden, just to make sure none of the boys had caught her subtle trip.

If they saw they would be flying over to make sure she was alright and Evan wouldn't let her take the boot off if he saw she had tripped. But she was going to discretely hide it soon so she could walk a bit better and feel a little more normal.

"At least your a better patient than Buck, I tell you if he does any more damage to that leg I'm not babysitting him again."

A chuckle rumbled through Bobby's chest and caused (Y/n)'s chest to flutter with a quiet laugh. She agreed. They had all been pulling their hair out when Evan had his accident with the fire truck.

The operations weren't so bad, it was the recovery. Trying to tell Evan to take it easy was like talking to a brick wall expecting an answer. (Y/n) had been helping him get washed and get in and out of the bath without getting his cast wet. Tommy and Eddie had been helping him move about the house since he wasn't great on crutches.

They all had to stay with him at some point or another so he didn't try and overdo it. Bobby and Maddie had been round to help calm him down and prevent him from trying to do too many physio exercises or push himself too far in his recovery. He had been the best and the worst patient in the world, all at once.

"Hopefully the only person needing babysitting will be this one." (Y/n) didn't dare think about any of her boys having any accidents. She didn't want to consider Evan getting any worse with his leg or having another injury. She didn't need to think about Eddie getting shot again or Tommy coming off shift with a busted shoulder.

The only one (Y/n) wanted to think about babysitting was their impending arrival. And Bobby seemed to be on the same train of thought because his expression softened and his eyes cast down to her bump.

"Well in that case, me and Athena are always available."

"You might regret saying that in a few months," (Y/n) gave Bobby's shoulder a squeeze before she picked up the paper plates and weaved past him. Heading in the direction of Chris while Bobby turned to drift over to Athena and May who were sat basking in the sun.

(Y/n) took a deep breath when her eyes landed on Chris and she realised who he was talking to. Eddie's parents. She hadn't had a proper conversation with them since they arrived today. Eddie had talked to them for a long while before the party officially got in swing and Evan had exchanged pleasantries with them.

But (Y/n) hadn't gotten round to speaking to them yet, she never knew what to say or how to act. Eddie's mother had given her the riot act when they first met and made it clear she didn't like Eddie being in a multiple relationship like this, as if it was somehow (Y/n)'s fault. As if she had enchanted all three men under her spell, like this was all her doing.

Things had settled down between them since then, but they had mixed emotions about the baby. Eddie had made them promise to try and get along with his partners today, he told them in no uncertain terms that he didn't want a fight or an argument happening today and they agreed. They said they would try to get along.

"Here baby, I saved you some." She held the plate out to Chris, watching his eyes light up as he took it from her with a wide smile.

She let herself slump against the back of the garden chair Chris was perched on and watched the way he swung his legs back and forth. His head was nodding along to the music and he instantly dived in to take a big bite out of the blue and blushing pink sponge cake.

A quiet "Thanks mum," murmured between mouthfuls of cake and he rested his head against (Y/n)'s arm when she patted his shoulder.

"And you, you look lovely today." Eddie's mum motioned her hand towards (Y/n) with a genuine smile that caught her off guard. She wasn't usually one for dishing out compliments, especially not to (Y/n).

What had Eddie said to her this morning?

"Oh, thank you." Her eyes cast down to her outfit that she hadn't been too sure about this morning until Tommy had been unable to look anywhere else and had his hands roaming all over her. "Chris said you're staying in town for a few days, do you have anything planned?"

Chris had been more than overjoyed that they were staying for a few days, he didn't have that much family here in LA so to have his grandparents here was a lovely surprise.

"I think we've all been conscripted into the zoo tomorrow, something about Buck giving us a tour round?" She looked a little unsure about the details, but the way she laughed at the end of her sentence made (Y/n)'s heart take flight from her chest.

She watched the elder woman brush her long hair over her shoulder and tilt back so casually in her chair, as if they had all been friends for years. She was making an effort, a true effort. And by the sounds of it, all of them would be spending the day together tomorrow. A way to become closer and intergrate into a bigger family.

"You're in for a treat." (Y/n) leaned down so she could kiss the top of Chris's head when he started to giggle.

Going to the zoo was Evan's thing to do with Chris, and going to the cinema was something Tommy and Chris both enjoyed. Just like Eddie and Tommy preferred to go to boxing and wrestling matches together, something Evan and (Y/n) weren't so keen on. They all had their little things together, but the beach, arcades and theme parks were things they all loved to do together as a family.

Tomorrow sounded like it was going to be a good day.

Once the conversation started to change and taper off into a new direction, (Y/n) politely excused herself. She put her empty plate on the side table, unsure where to drift off to now but she knew she was ready to sit down for a while.

Shivers tore up and down her arms when she felt a familiar pair of lips attach to the side of her neck. She could feel Tommy's teeth nip and graze over her skin and a slight scratch when he bit down softly. His chest moulded up into her back, curving around her and leaning down to be level with her.

"Here," He draped his right arm around her waist, holding his hand out in front of her where he was holding two plastic cups between his fingers.

She gratefully took one but her chest tightened and her back jolted against Tommy's chest when a frozen cold beer bottle suddenly pressed into the left side of her abdomen. Droplets of juice splashed around the rim of her cup and drizzled down her hand like the first flickers of rain and electric shocks coursed up and down her side and down through her arm.

"Tommy!" She hissed through a quirked smile, trying to wriggle away but he pressed the bottle closer until the condensation was soaking into her shirt and her stomach was shuddering at the cold temperature.

The bottle moved around to the middle of her bump and she could feel Tommy's fingers dragging along, creating patterns over her shivering skin which had him laughing into her neck. He bit down just enough to leave a scratch against the side of her throat, quickly soothing the touch with his tongue before he reeled his head back.

He peppered a few tender, lasting kisses up and down her throat and leaned round so he was hovering over her shoulder, lips puckered, expecting a kiss.

"Stop trying to wake them up," (Y/n)'s voice came out quieter than a whisper and her words were gentle, spoken into Tommy's mouth as she was already kissing him before she was finished speaking. She knew what he was trying to do, he was trying to get some movement or a kick out of the baby.

"You feeling okay?" He finally shifted the bottle away from her stomach, pulling her lower lip between his teeth with a growl when (Y/n) dragged her finger down the side of his sharp jawline.

"We're good."

He hummed in response, nodding before finally unravelling himself from around her, leaving (Y/n) suddenly cold and hollow as she watched him head over to Evan, presumably who the other drink was for.

Her eyes couldn't seem to pull away from her boys as she took a sip of her drink and feathered her free hand absentmindedly across her bump. She didn't realise she was smiling until Evan caught her eye and winked in her direction.

But her gaze swiftly turned to the right, glancing in the direction of the Buckleys, gathered next to Maddie.

"What're they doing here?" Margaret motioned her glass in Eddie's direction who was now stood chatting to his parents. He was stood behind Chris's chair, both arms wrapped around his son's shoulders and his lips attached to the top of Chris's curls.

(Y/n) took a few steps closer, unsure what Margaret was talking about, but she could feel ice cold dread clawing down the back of her neck and down her spine as Margaret's expression seemed to change. The placid smile she wore earlier was nowhere to be seen. Her lips were parted and curved down oddly at the corners with her upper lip and nose crinkling in what (Y/n) could only describe as horror.

The way she narrowed her eyes had (Y/n) shuddering and realising that she was looking across at Evan. More specifically, at the way Tommy was draped around Evan like a blanket.

Tommy had his arm around Evan's torso, hand flat on his stomach, chest up against Evan's back and he kept kissing the side of his head in between drinks.

"Did you think they'd be at work?" Maddie tilted her head to one side, unsure why her mum was so spooked and uneasy all of a sudden. Had Evan not explained things properly? Had he only mentioned the baby shower in passing and not given all the details? After all, they hadn't expected their parents to actually turn up today.

"He- he's still with them?"

Anxiety clawed at the back of (Y/n)'s throat and she could feel the baby kicking, waking up with the bursts of adrenaline (Y/n) was getting. Her stomach churned and she was sure that cake she ate was going to make a reappearance.

What was going on? What did Margaret think was happening here? (Y/n) knew it had been too good to be true that they had been so accepting and loving towards Evan when they turned up today. She knew there had to be some reason or miscommunication going on.

"What?" She tried not to let her voice tremble as she walked over to stand beside Maddie, staying as close to her as possible with enough distance between herself and Evan's parents.

"Evan told us you were pregnant, we assumed that meant you'd gotten out of this stage. How can you start a family with this unconventional mess? They shouldn't be here-"

"They're our partners, where else would they be?" A defensive tone took over (Y/n)'s voice and her shoulders straightened and squared up, but her hand stayed on her stomach almost protectively.

So they truly had misunderstood. They thought Evan and (Y/n) had suddenly come out of their relationship with Tommy and Eddie. They thought the baby was just Evan's and that they were starting fresh together without their other two partners. How could they think that Evan would break up with the boys and not tell them? How could they think he would break up with the boys but not (Y/n)?

Evan was constantly telling them how happy he was now. Maddie was always trying to tell them to be inclusive because she knew her brother was the happiest he had ever been. She knew he was loved and cared for and he was who he always wanted to be when he was with his family.

"Well who's baby is it?"

The snappy tone in Phillip's voice took (Y/n) by surprise and she leaned back, taking a step away when his hand moved dangerously close to her stomach. She bit back a groan, hiding the cringe that tore through her when she stepped back on her bad foot and put a bit more weight on it than she was used to recently.

She could feel Maddie's hand moving to grip her arm for comfort and security while she lifted her head, eagerly trying to catch either her brother or Tommy's attention. They were going to need help with this conversation.

"Theirs." (Y/n) surprised herself with the confidence in her voice even though her heart was hammering away in her chest and her head was fogging up.

It was their baby. Paternity didn't matter when there were four people in this relationship and all three of the boys were agreed from the beginning that they were going to raise this baby together, as theirs. Just like they were all bringing Chris up together.

"Please don't do this-" Maddie sighed, pursing her lips when her mum shot her an awful glare and huffed as if Maddie should be chiding and degrading (Y/n) too.

This was a party, a happy occasion and Maddie wanted this to go smoothly. Evan never celebrated his birthday as a child, their parents were too cold and uncaring to give him a special birthday or throw him a party. Maddie always tried to throw little parties for him, but after he left college and moved away, she knew he still didn't celebrate his birthday.

Even now, he was reluctant to have a party or have people acknowledge his birthday and it killed his sister. So to throw a party that was still somewhat for him was all she wanted to do. She wanted to do a party that included Evan and revolved around him and his partners. This was a happy occasion. Everyone was so excited for this baby, Maddie didn't want her parents walking in here and ruining today.

"So you don't know who's child you're having? What are you going to tell them? What are you going to tell people? How fair is it to get Evan to raise a child that probably isn't even his?"

"Hey! That's enough." Evan's voice growled and cut through the music, breaking apart the previously calm atmosphere that seemed to quake around him.

He found himself standing in front of his parents, putting himself in front of (Y/n) and his sister like a shield of armour. The way his shoulders rose and straightened made it seem like he was growing and expanding on the spot and the deep breath he sucked in had his chest rising too.

A bubble of dread swelled up in the pit of (Y/n)'s stomach and she found herself backing away before she could think better of it. She didn't want to stand here and have Evan's parents looking at her like that, she'd had enough of those looks from her own family and from people at work. She wouldn't stand and be stared at or talked to like that in her own home.

(Y/n) aimed for the back door but she didn't get that far before a tense chest moved in her line of sight and hands found her shoulders.

Eddie swerved in front of her, grabbing (Y/n) before she stumbled into his chest. Her head stayed tilted down towards the floor and Eddie kissed the back of her head while one hand moved to curve around her waist instead. He didn't want her to disappear inside, this was their home and no one had the right to make her feel uncomfortable or like she had to walk away.

His thumb glided up and down her hip while his other hand cupped the back of her neck. He slowly walked her back towards their partners who were stood together like a brick wall that no one would be able to break through.

He breathed into her hair, trying to stay calm and stop himself from bounding over there to say something to defend all three of his partners. But he knew he didn't have to. No matter how desperately he wanted to, Evan seemed to have this situation under control. Eddie had spoken to his own parents this morning, this was Evan's ground to cover.

His eyes stayed focused on Evan who looked like he was ready to explode. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, his shoulders were almost touching his jaw and he was visibly shaking and vibrating on the spot.

Even the feel of Tommy's arm around his waist and the feel of his hand squeezing his hip didn't do much to calm Evan down.

"Evan, you can't do this. A relationship as strange as this is one thing, but bringing a child into the equation-"

"You really wanna stand there and lecture me about being a parent, after the way you raised me?" They had no ground to stand on when it came to being a parent. Evan had learned to pick himself up and dust himself down on his own. He learned to go to his big sister to patch him up and give him advice and guide him in the right direction.

He got life lessons and skills and more importantly, a sense of love and belonging from Bobby. Nothing useful came of being around his parents and they couldn't try and lecture him on a subject they had failed so miserably at.

"If you can't accept my family and my choices, then you shouldn't be here. My happiness is more valuable than your opinion."

His voice was quiet enough not to shout aloud for the rest of the neighbourhood to hear, but just on the edge of a louder tone that the rest of his friends and family in the garden would be able to hear.

If they couldn't let themselves be happy for Evan, then he needed them to leave because he was happy and at the best place in his life. He wasn't broken or lost or confused or searching for something that came with reckless consequences. Evan had three adoring partners, a stepson he cherished more than life itself and a baby on the way.

This was a time to celebrate, not a time for his parents to try and put him down like they always did.

"That means you can leave now. Don't let the gate hit you on the way out." Tommy leaned his chin over Evan's shoulder and pointed towards the gate, shaking his beer bottle to further his point. They couldn't stay, they weren't welcome any more after causing a scene and no one was going to miss them if they left.

Evan didn't realise he was shaking until he felt Tommy's hand gliding up and down his waist to try and calm him down and bring him back to the present.

His lips curved into a shaky smile and he dipped his head down to the right when he felt (Y/n) push up behind him. Her lips attached to his arm and her hands found his hips, staying mostly hidden behind him but not wavering in the way she held him, keeping them both grounded and secure. And he could feel Eddie stood on his other side, meshing up against him and Tommy.

As soon as the gate swung shut with a horrid, creaking groan, a wave of relief washed over all four of them and the atmosphere shifted again.

The music playing in the background seemed to become louder and come back into focus. All eyes were in their direction, but all they could see were encouraging looks, soft glances and tender smiles.

"Come on, time for presents."

[alchemistc]

eta: based on my spiral in the tags of this post

Tommy's quiet as Buck nuzzles his nose into his neck, fingers stretched wide against Buck's back, rubbing absentmindedly.

Buck tilts his gaze up. He's staring at the ceiling.

There's nothing wrong with a little ceiling staring. Buck is actually a really big fan of ceiling staring, when needed, but Tommy's been so good at being a sounding board when Buck needs it, way better than the silently judgey rafters, and Buck wants to return the favor.

"What're you thinking about?"

Tommy hums, lifting his head just a bit, the skin under his chin wrinkling like a shar-pei.

His hand slides up, down, palm lifting so he can swirl his fingers a bit.

Buck's always been a big fan of cuddling, but there's something extra sweet about Tommy's version of it - skin to skin, even if it's just rucking up Buck's shirt so he can get a hand in there, arms and legs all tangled up in each other, his hand always drawing aimless patterns. Buck's getting too used to it - had caught himself pouting, a little, the last time Tommy hugged him in a rush out the door and didn't do the little circular motion against the small of Buck's back that usually indicated when a hug was over. He's a little worried someone else is gonna hug him and he's gonna melt into it, tuck his face into someone inappropriate's neck.

"Eddie asked me something earlier, and I didn't have a clue how to answer it."

Buck tips his chin against Tommy's chest, a little eager at the idea of providing answers. Tommy knows how much he likes that.

"What about?"

"About you." He pinches at Buck's side. "Us, technically."

Oh. Well. Buck doesn't have facts and figures and statistics about that. Yet.

He hums.

"He wanted to know why I don't call you Buck."

"Do you two talk about me enough for him to notice that?" He's pretending not to be pleased about that. He's doing a shitty job, but still.

Tommy blows out a breath, hands drifting down, over the hem of Buck's briefs to squeeze. "You are one of the things we have in common. It's not all shirtless men beating the crap out of each other and trauma bonding over enemy gunfire," he says, wry, fingers sliding over Buck's ass and around to his hip, no real intention in the motion, just touching to touch.

And that's - oh that's kinda nice. The idea of that, just being a shared interest between them.

"I didn't know what to say," he continues, like he can't see Buck really fucking enjoying the idea of being a topic of conversation between his boyfriend and his best friend. "You introduced yourself as Evan. You've never corrected me, so - I didn't see a reason to change it up."

Buck grins, a little bashful. "Yeah. It took me a while to figure out why I did that."

Tommy raises a brow, hands still wandering as he waits for Buck to expand on that.

"Buck was a work thing, to start," he tells him, still working his way through it, because he's only recently considered exactly why he'd never told Tommy to call him Buck. "And then the 118 kind of became my family, and Buck - it just felt like Buck was who I was. The person I wanted to be. Evan was just - the guy I was before I found my people." Tommy's hand sweeps over his back. "And, like - I never hated that guy. Evan. He was just - he was just there, in the background. People only used it when they had something serious to say." Except his parents, but that - that's not the point he's trying to make, anyway.

"Good serious or bad serious?"

"Just - important. Something - something that needed both of those parts of me to be present in the moment."

Tommy hums. "So when we met, and you introduced yourself..."

"I think I was just trying to manufacture some intimacy." Buck admits, like he hadn't spent a ceiling-staring evening of his own figuring out this exact thing. "Get you to call me sweetheart right out the gate."

Tommy's eyes go soft and sweet. Buck never means to do this, give Tommy all these chick flick moments of introspection, but when they stumble into his lap he can't deny the little thrill that races up his spine at the sight of Tommy tucking them away. Tommy's hand settles between his shoulder blades, fingers spanning wide. "I'm not telling Eddie that," he teases, and Buck nips at his arm in retaliation.