#but it wouldn’t have saved me from this
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I finally watched this movie, it hit me so hard.
I’d been listening to the soundtrack for a while, as a bad habit, I tend to listen to movie soundtracks before watching the source material—and I’m really into Yeule’s music—so I discovered the movie thru the release of their featured song in the movie.
I finally gave it a chance and, wow.
Huge tangent under the cut <3
I’m nonbinary. I’m afab. This movie resonated with me so much.
Making this discovery was a hard one, it was like I’d opened Pandora’s Box.
One of my other (dearest) friends had come out as nb when we were younger and it scared me, it was something I was aware of but pushed away in fear of discovery. Same with my lesbian identity. But the TV kept glowing, I wouldn’t lose them over my own cowardice. Eventually I realized I was lesbian, I’d realized I was trans.
Sometimes I feel connected to womanhood, to my femininity.
For the sake of others, I sacrifice my otherness for their comfort. I go by all pronouns because I’m afraid of dropping “she” from everyone else’s mind. I go by they/she in public spaces where I feel safe enough to do so, but at home, I’m still just a woman, I’m still “her”. Only that.
And it’s difficult reconciling this when I do dress femininely, when I let my friends call me woman. Even when I do that to myself, because I am, paradoxically, as I am not. I don’t know, gender is hard. I present as a woman to a lot of people, so I have experiences socialized as such.
Not to tote any weird superiority complexes, but I like the way God is described in the bible. “I am that I am.” The image of everyone, man, woman, otherwise, all simultaneously.
I feel maybe it’s like that for me, with womanhood. I am woman, I am something else. I like masculine terms for myself sometimes. Sometimes it feels like an empty space. Like [Owen] described it on the bleachers to [Maddy]. I severely hate overly gendered conversation. As a transmasc person, I do like dude and bro but yk even that gets tiresome.
“Yes, Girl.”
“Queen.”
“Miss.”
Only my closest friends call me by “they/them” pronouns, even then, I let it slip when they don’t get it right. But they know me for who I am beyond the screen, and I do just go by any pronouns. But we’re also just used to pushing that away in the eyes of others who don’t see the screen glowing.
In I Saw The TV Glow, Owen and Isabel are parallels to each other (because they are one and the same), they’re both too cowardly for confrontation, Isabel realizes she’s dying [as Owen] and apologizes for the sake of others’ comfort, at the end of the movie, at the outburst her realization causes.
The ending is left up to interpretation, whether she buries herself in the ground with Tara, or she continues to die, living a life as someone fake.
I like to remain hopeful, optimistic. Though, “there is still time,” might read as a warning—you still have time, but it will run out eventually—I see it as a message of hope for those of us who can’t explore our gender identities as freely as others. An eventuality.
During the wire breakage scene, where [Owen] finds herself stopped in the road—where she finds the burning papers of the episode guides, she reads “S06:e01” I like to think that that is where the movie ends and her true life begins. She does break out of the midnight realm.
She doesn’t continue to cower away, though she is wont to do. She opened her chest up and saw her missing heart, saw the “Pink Opaque,” and ran back to Tara, leaving this world behind, and saving face with her apologies.
..
This movie also filled me with existential dread.
When [Owen] watched the finale’s tape, when she launched her head into the tv and mourned the fact that her father wasn’t really her father—a foreboding, looming figure representing prominent patriarchal ideals—when she told us about how it was “time to become a real man,” when her father died, further burying herself into this life that wasn’t hers with a family that wasn’t either—it was terrifying.
We never see that family she had onscreen, and the mention of them makes [Owen] look so defeated. She watches the “Pink Opaque” again and it isn’t as she remembers. Just as Mr. Melancholy said would happen.
“Soon you won’t even remember that you’re dying.”
Whole movie was such a harrowing, representative experience. I sobbed. I mourned. It was like mourning for a past me, for the parts of myself that must stay hidden, for covering the screen.
And the fact that Tara was relatively butch in her real life, but was an awkward girl experimenting with her feminine expression up until she realized she had to escape in the Midnight Realm. I felt connection to her expression as much as I did Isabel’s egg crack.
They were so lesbians for each other, too, be it in a qpp sense or in another way.
…
Here I am listening to the OST again, replaying Yeule’s cover of “Anthems for a 17-year-old Girl,” on my 20th birthday (oh yeah that’s today) and just.. feeling such a frenzy of emotions.
Ultimately, just—
There will still be time. You’ll bury the you that isn’t authentic in the ground and rise as your truest form eventually. There will always be eventually. There will always be you..
I will be there waiting for me.
But I know that's not true. That's just fantasy. Kid's stuff.
I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun
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(@ AO3. Bucktommy mpreg, cos that's what we're doing now lmao)
There’s no nausea.
No bolting from the kitchen when Melton insists on heating his tuna salad.
No tears, no emotional outbursts, nothing to tip Tommy off until the bell rings and he jumps off his seat, only to have his vision go white and the world tilt into darkness.
He wakes to Lucy taking his blood pressure; to his Captain, of all people, holding his legs up in her lap.
Tommy closes his eyes, swallowing the embarrassment.
.
He thought it was exhaustion.
Tommy knew he shouldn’t–
He caused this.
Ev– Buck had looked at him, all wide smiles and stars in his eyes, and he had gotten up and left, absolutely terrified in the face of the other’s worship.
So, when he began to have trouble sleeping, lost his appetite, began to isolate–
He deserved it. That was punishment.
The results in his shaky hands feel worse than that.
“Mr. Kinard?” Tommy barely reacts besides looking up at the nurse. She smiles back, not unlike a sympathetic wince. “Is there anyone you would like me to call?”
Tommy ought to say no.
He nods instead.
.
The bench is warm from the sun. It could be enough to ward off the chill that seemed to seep into his bones.
It’s not.
Someone comes to a stop beside him. They wait for a beat before they sit, knee knocking into his. “Hey.”
To his horror, Tommy feels tears flood his vision. “Hey.”
Eddie frowns, leaning forward in his seat to try and catch Tommy’s gaze. He looks concerned yet wary, watching him so closely Tommy feels like his skin is being peeled back. “I was surprised when the hospital called me.” He said, eyes flickering between Tommy’s face and the envelope in his hands. “I thought you had changed your emergency contact to…”
Tommy tries not to wince as Eddie trails off. “I nearly did.” He sniffs, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve. “Had the paperwork filled and everything, but then I thought I wouldn’t want a stranger to tell him I’d died, so.” He shrugs.
“You added me?”
Tommy nods. “Yeah.”
Eddie is silent for a bit before saying, “Well, you’re a fucking asshole.” And Tommy lets a laugh, closely resembling a sob. “Cos I wouldn’t want that either.”
“Sorry. I should probably change it–”
“Don’t you dare,” Eddie glares before his eyes flicker to the envelope again. “Is that what this is? Are you–?”
“Dying?” Tommy asks and Eddie nods, face resolute. He shakes his head, “Not any more than the regular living being.” Before the other can ask, he offers him the envelope.
Eddie hesitates, however. “Are you sure?”
“I, uh.” And Tommy is back to blinking back tears, trying to focus on anything other than whatever his life is at the moment. “I don’t know what to do.” He confesses. “For the first time since I left the military, I’m truly at a loss, Eddie, and I know, I know I hurt Buck and that he certainly got you in the divorce, but. I, uh. I don’t have many friends. I didn’t know who else to talk to.”
Concerned, and more than a little curious, Eddie carefully extracts the envelope from Tommy’s shaky fingers. They’re both silent save for the sound of paper rustling and Tommy feels his heart leap into his throat the moment Eddie seems to stop breathing beside him. “Tommy.”
“My parents got me tested as a child. I believed the paperwork– I never thought to check.”
“You shouldn’t have had to,” Eddie tries to soothe, reaching out to curl a hand around one of Tommy’s wrists.
“I’m forty-one years old,” Tommy chokes out, tears finally falling onto his jeans. He stares as the droplets soak into the fabric. “I don’t– I never expected this .”
Eddie’s face becomes a complicated mess. “Well, if you’re having unprotected sex, what did you expect? A flatscreen?” He backpedals quickly when Tommy stands, ripping his wrist out of his hand. “I’m sorry– I’m trying to lighten the mood–”
“Very fucking poorly–”
“I know, it sounded better in my head– Whoa.”
Tommy blinks and he’s back on the bench, lightheaded. “Oh, uh. Thanks.”
Eddie’s staring at him, the paramedic in him alert. “What else did the nurses tell you?”
“Uh. To set up an appointment with an Ob-Gyn. To– To eat, yeah. My glucose’s low.”
And Eddie just keeps on staring, eyes narrowing. “And they didn’t give you anything while you were inside?” When Tommy shakes his head, he visibly bites back a curse. “Well, c’mon then. I know a place with the best breakfast burritos in the whole of LA.” Eddie pauses, then leans in. “Don’t tell Abuela.”
.
Tommy begins to feel normal around the last mouthful of his second burrito, sighing almost obscenely at the mix of salsa, cheesy eggs, and sausage invading his palate.
The cilantro alone could drag a moan out of him.
He hates cilantro.
It tastes like soap.
(It tastes like heaven.)
Eddie watches him with thinly veiled amusement, sipping at his latte and pushing his last burrito toward Tommy. “You look like you haven’t seen food in weeks.”
Tommy shrugs, already biting into the offered treat. “Haven’t had much appetite, to be honest. Since.”
They fall silent then, sitting in the bed of Eddie’s truck somewhere along the coast. “Why did you do it?” Eddie eventually caves, asking the question that Tommy’s certain had been burning at the tip of his tongue since he got the call. “Buck’s been miserable, and you, well.” He snorts. “You look like roadkill.”
“Hm, flatterer.”
“And you’re an expert at deflecting. Trust me, takes one to know one.” Eddie takes another sip of his coffee. After so long with a fuzzy caterpillar on his lip, he looks strange bare-faced. “Spill.”
Tommy returns his gaze to his food. “I’m sure Buck has told you everything there is to know.”
“From his point of view, yeah. I want to know yours, too. I’m sure you had a reason.” When Tommy stares at him in wonder, Eddie shrugs self-consciously. “I’m not saying I agree with what you did or why you did it– I’m sure your reasoning’s absolute horse shit. Just that it probably made sense to you.”
Picking at the frayed edges of the paper wrap, Tommy considers his words before, “He asked me to move in.”
“I know.”
“He never even told me he loved me.”
Eddie pauses and lowers his styrofoam cup. “Ever?”
Tommy shakes his head, letting out a humorless chuckle. “He found out about Abby and pulled away. Next thing I know, I’m knocking on his door for date night and he’s talking about how confident I am, about how I’m an inspiration for him. Then, he asks me to move in.” Appetite forgotten, he re-wraps the burrito and sets it aside. Picks up his chamomile tea and makes a show of blowing on it, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat. “It hit me then that he was infatuated by the Tommy in his head, not me.” He snorts humorlessly. “I barely came out four years ago, Eddie. I’m not confident, I’m just a coward, but Ev– Buck? He has been cruising ahead, speedrunning through his queer experience and I just. I couldn’t keep up anymore.
Tommy sips at his tea and burns the tip of his tongue. He continues. “I realized I had fallen in love with someone who was attracted to a polished, sanitized version of me. I couldn’t– I wanted to say yes. For a second, he asked me to move in, and Eddie, I was so happy. But then reality came crashing down and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take that leap.”
“So, you broke it off.”
Tommy nodded. “Better to do it now and survive the hurt than to have to restart my life when Buck eventually sees all of me and realizes he made a mistake.” He sniffs and mentally blames it on the sea breeze. “I wouldn’t survive it.”
They fall silent again but then Eddie is snorting, shaking his head. “You’re both absolute imbéciles.”
“I know just enough Spanish to know you’re insulting me.”
“Oh, I am, rest assured.” Eddie throws back the last of his coffee before he sets the cup aside. “Buck was, well. Buck. Steamrolling ahead, as usual, I get that, but you? You self-sabotaged, man.”
“I looked out for myself. Maybe that’s selfish–”
“A little bit, yeah. At the same time, it’s self-preservation. Can we blame a hurt animal for lashing out?”
“Therapy is doing you wonders, huh.”
“Yeah, maybe you should consider it.” Eddie bit back. “Point is– You both need to sit down and talk. Tell him what you told me.”
“He needs to know what’s out there, to know for sure what he wants or if this was just some, some bi-curious experiment –”
“Shut the fuck up.” Eddie cut in, finally mad. “I’ve known Buck for a very long time, now, and I can tell you that this is the most settled and sure of himself he has ever been. You’re scared, and I get that, but don’t talk like he’s not a thirty-three-year-old adult, capable of knowing what he wants.”
That shuts Tommy right up and he looks away again, gripping his cup hard enough that some of the tea spills out onto his fingers. He focuses on the scorch rather than the glare burning into the side of his face. “Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it? It’s done. We’re done.”
“Not if you reach out to him, especially now.”
Tommy flinches so violently he physically recoils. “No, most definitely not now .” He spats, suddenly angry. Is it the implication, the tone of voice? And from Eddie, no less, for so long defined by the surprise of parenthood. “What are you suggesting here, man? That I– that I trap–”
He can’t say it.
If he says it, it becomes true, doesn’t it?
Eddie, however, has no such qualms. “I’m not suggesting anything, Tommy.” He softens before delivering the blow. “You’re pregnant. You just found out. No one’s baby-trapping anyone.”
“But that’s what’ll happen.” Tommy chokes out and he realizes that the feeling that had lodged itself in his throat since his test results came back was anxiety. “Evan has always wanted a family. He’ll want to be there, every step of the way. He’ll feel obligated, Eddie.”
“And that’s bad, why?” Eddie wonders. “Are you afraid he’ll resent you for some reason or are you afraid you won’t be able to keep up the walls you built around your heart?”
“Both.”
“Talk to him.”
“I don’t know if I should. Not yet.” At the other’s frown, Tommy is quick to explain. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell him– I know I have to. It’s only right and I will do it, but.” He pauses, looking away. He eyes the tide. “There might not even be a baby by the end of the week.”
“Don’t say that–”
“It’s a geriatric pregnancy, Eddie. Never mind genetic disorders, miscarriage rates are through the roof. Know what else is through the roof? My blood pressure.”
“I know, I saw your results. That doesn’t mean there isn’t hope.” Eddie argues, then pauses, considering. “I mean. Do you even want this?”
Tommy stares at him, trying to think of an answer before settling on, “I don’t know.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not saying– I really don’t know. I didn’t even know I was a carrier. It feels like this is a hypothetical situation happening to a hypothetical Tommy, only at the end of forty weeks a whole human will burst out of me, and I will be responsible for them for the rest of my life.”
Eddie’s silent, watching him, before he scoots closer and asks in a soft tone, “Are you scared?”
“I’m terrified.”
And Tommy sobs.
.
By the time his first appointment arrives, Tommy still hasn’t been able to tell Evan.
He keeps staring at their messages, starts to type even, but then– deflates.
What could he even say?
‘Hey, I’m pregnant. Can we talk?’ No, too direct.
‘Hi. We need to talk.’ Too catastrophic, Evan would spiral– not exactly the vibe he wants to go for.
Should he try a meme?
Before Tommy can decide, he’s called by a nurse and soon enough he’s lying on a stretcher, getting cold gel poured on his abs and being prodded in the bladder with the stick from hell.
They’re hard to find because of his muscle mass and so, so tiny but they’re there, wiggling in the small monitor.
He's eight weeks pregnant.
He's due in the summer.
(He hopes with all his heart he gets that far.)
When he can finally pull his pants back up, his eyes are red and swollen, and the fast drumming of a tiny heart keeps echoing in his ears, two printed sonograms in his hands. One, Tommy will keep.
The other, he will give it to Evan.
He schedules his next appointment before he leaves, unaware of Maddie Buckley-Han’s narrow-eyed gaze locked onto him.
.
“You’re welcome, by the way.”
Tommy rolls his eyes, elbows deep in soapy water. “Am I?”
Eddie takes the bait, narrowing his eyes. “I did you a favor by taking his phone away. Or would you have been ready to talk to Buck had he called you today?”
“I guess we’ll never know.”
“–You’re a bit of a bitch, anyone ever told you that?”
“Hm. What was it you said the other day? Takes one to know one?”
Eddie tips his beer towards him, trying not to grin. “Touché.”
They fall into a comfortable silence, interrupted only by the sound of rinsing dishes and pages being turned. When Eddie closes the small notebook and Tommy wipes his hands on a rag, he asks, “So, what’s the prognosis, doc?”
Eddie mock glares at him, poking the rows of neat results Tommy diligently writes down every day. “All good, so far. Blood pressure seems to fluctuate a bit, but nothing too serious. Glucose levels could use some work, however.”
At the other’s pointed stare, Tommy crumbles. “ You keep bringing me banana bread.”
“I am not physically capable of eating all the loaves Buck thrusts my way–”
“Then why bring them to me if you’re gonna bitch at me for my sugar levels?”
“Cos, I keep expecting you to take them with you to Harbor, not eat them all!”
“Since you began bringing me these, toasted banana bread is literally all I can think about. Nothing else compares. Do not fucking judge me, Diaz–”
“– What in the actual flying fuck .”
Tommy does not think.
One moment he’s arguing with his friend, the next he has a frying pan in hand, ready to face the intruder that had made his way into his house with nothing but cast iron and Muay Thai.
Ev– Buck just stands there, eyes flickering between the pan and Tommy and Eddie. He narrows his eyes, nostrils flaring, and repeats, “What the fuck .”
“How did you get in?” Eddie asks, looking like a deer in headlights.
“Still have a key. Why are you here?”
Eddie seems to take a second to formulate a reply before what escapes him is, “Why can’t I be here?”
“Oh boy,” Tommy murmurs, lowering the pan.
“Why can’t– What – He broke my heart –!”
“And he was my friend first, or did you forget you nearly broke my ankle over his dick –”
“Guys–” Tommy tries to interrupt but quickly shuts his mouth, being glared at by the other two.
“You know I’ve been wanting to reach out,” Buck argues, shaking the phone in his hand for good measure. “You wouldn’t let me! You never even told me you kept in touch!”
“What would you have done if I had?” Eddie barks back. “I couldn’t even say his name the first week because you would pout and scowl your way into a corner!”
“I do not pout,” Evan snaps, bottom lip jutting out in what was clearly a pout.
Nerves fraying, and frankly growing tired of all the shouting in his own goddamn house, Tommy bangs the pan down on the countertop with finality. The others instantly shut up, eyeing him and the potential weapon warily. “Buck,” He tries not to wince at the glare now turned on him. “Why are you here?”
Buck hesitates, looking between him and Eddie before he seemingly decides his best friend can wait to receive a piece of his mind. To Tommy's confusion, he walks further into the kitchen and then rounds the island, stopping and staring at him rather than using his words.
Tommy shifts, uncomfortable and feeling more exposed under Buck's scrutinizing gaze than he ever felt while naked with the other man. Eventually, the other’s entire posture shifts and, to Tommy’s surprise, goes soft . “–You look so tired .”
“Uh. Thanks?” Tommy tries to laugh it off, exchanging a confused look with Eddie.
Then, Buck pulls the rug out from under him. “Are you taking prenatal vitamins?”
Tommy stares, stunned into silence while Eddie lets out a small sigh.
He thinks of deflecting. Of making a joke, throwing in a finger gun or two, but his body betrays him, refusing to let him run.
He's frozen and clammy and Evan's eyes are so sad –
He nearly misses the stool behind him.
There are voices around him, but they're garbled– it feels like there is cotton in his ears, in his brain, he can't think . There's only all-consuming anxiety.
–And pain.
Oh shit, there's pain –
Tommy hisses, pulling back from the knuckles digging into his sternum. “Sorry,” Eddie apologizes, not sorry at all, eyeing him carefully. Tommy slowly becomes aware of his other hand, tightly wrapped around his wrist with a thumb pressing into his pulse point. “You okay?”
“How did you know?” Tommy asks instead, looking over Eddie's shoulder at Buck.
Buck fidgets, looking like he wants to shove Eddie aside and take over. “Maddie's pregnant,” he explains. “You share the same obstetrician.”
Tommy sighs with his whole body, feeling the sting of frustrated tears at the corner of his eyes. Of course, he thinks. Los Angeles and they just had to share the same doctor.
Nothing could ever be easy for Tommy.
“I didn't know you were a carrier.” Buck continues.
Tommy huffs out a weak laugh, watching Eddie as he pulls back and goes fishing for his blood pressure monitor. He couldn't look Evan in the eyes anymore. “Neither did I until– until .”
“When did you find out?”
“Two weeks and four days ago,” Tommy replies almost automatically. Should Buck ask, he could even give him the time.
(One tends to remember every detail when one's life fundamentally changes.)
(Thirty-eight past eight in the morning. Tuesday. It was sunny, as it often is in LA.)
“When did Eddie know?” Buck asks, and ah. He’s angry. He’s pissed, in fact.
Tommy closes his eyes and rubs his face with both hands, pressing the pads of his fingers into his eyeballs until he sees stars. “I’m sorry,” He eventually mumbles. “He’s– He’s my emergency contact. I didn’t know who else to call after.”
He feels rather than sees Buck sit on the stool beside his. “You could have called me .”
Tommy looks up then, squinting at the other as his eyes clear up. “Would you have picked up?” He asks, beginning to match Buck’s resentment. “Had I called you two weeks ago, would you have taken it?”
Buck holds his gaze for a beat, then two, before he finally looks away, anger fading partially into resignation. “I don’t know.”
“There’s your answer, then.”
“I still deserved to know.” Tommy scoffs out a laugh, shaking his head, but Buck doesn’t let up. “Or didn’t I? Cos the timeline– It’s mine, right?”
“Wow,” Tommy stands then, trying and failing to hide the hurt the question caused. He vaguely hears Eddie mutter a soft ‘ dios mio ’ to their left. “I– Wow .”
Buck seems to realize his mistake as he quickly jumps to his feet as well, eyes wide. “Not– Not that I’m implying–”
“Well, you just fucking did .”
“I’m sorry,” Buck continues, visibly upset. “I didn’t mean– I’m putting my foot in my mouth.” He pauses, trying to reign in his emotions. He takes a deep breath, “I never thought you cheated. I know you would have never cheated on me, that’s not you, but– Maddie’s been weird. Looking at me, waiting for something. Imagine my surprise when she asks me today why haven’t I told her about you and– and a baby .”
Tommy just shakes his head, blinking back frustrated tears. “Buck–”
“Stop calling me that!” Evan finally snaps. It echoes throughout the small kitchen, resonates in Tommy’s ears, and for a moment he considers just walking away, locking himself inside his bedroom and waiting for everyone else to just leave.
“Buck,” Eddie says, a warning from where he’s standing nearby, monitor in hand.
“I realize I have been far from perfect,” Evan steamrolls ahead, beginning to pace. “How– How I was going too fast, how I failed to see you were beginning to struggle to keep up, how I never realized that the communication we prided ourselves on having was lacking cos you didn’t even know I fucking loved you .”
“Buck,” Eddie tries again.
“I couldn’t have known something you never bothered to tell me,” Tommy snaps back, standing and straightening to his full size. They were the same height, he and Evan, but Tommy was still broader, yet to lose muscle mass from having been ordered to stop strenuous workouts.
He uses it as armor.
“You could have talked to me, come to me with this!”
“And said what ?! There you were, putting me on a pedestal like some fucking paragon of gayness when you had literally just found out how much of a fucking coward I had been for far too long! I lied to myself for decades, broke Abby’s heart in the process, and barely managed to put my puzzle pieces together when you walked into my life! You were practically the only serious relationship I had ever had, the only one I saw a future with!” Tommy yells, heart in his throat. He desperately wants to stop, cease the torrent of information he had never shared with anyone but himself, but he finds he can’t, far too keyed up to stop now. “But then you basically describe the person you’re infatuated with and fucking newsflash, it ain’t me! I am not confident,” He stabs one finger in the air, “I am not comfortable,” Another finger, “and I most certainly am not worthy of anyone’s bloody admiration! I am a fucking mess, Evan, and at that moment I realized that you didn’t know me, only the idealized version in your head! So, tell me, how could I have said yes to you? How could I have stayed, knowing one day the pink goggles would fall off and you’d realize you made a mistake?! What was I supposed to do, then, a year, five years, ten years down the road? Rebuild my life from the ashes of what would have been my forever?”
“Tommy,” Evan breathes, swallowing back tears.
“I’m sorry I broke your heart,” Tommy apologizes through gritted teeth, paraphrasing the other’s words from earlier. His hands are shaking and there’s sweat running down his back, but he can’t stop, won’t stop until Evan understands – “That I broke both our hearts, but had I taken that leap, you would have killed me. I couldn’t– I couldn’t risk it.”
“ Tommy –”
“I– I can’t–” Tommy pants, realizing too late the adrenaline is choking him, is burning him from the inside out–
He tilts, and all he can think about is that it’s becoming a fucking habit.
.
Tommy wakes up to something cold in his neck, staring up at his kitchen’s ceiling.
There are cobwebs on the wooden beams.
Huh.
He should clean that up, sometime.
“Tom?”
Tommy blinks, still out of it. “Evan?”
Slowly, he realizes that he’s lying on the tile, head cushioned in Eddie’s lap. His legs are being held up by Evan and Tommy’s hit with deja vu so strong his head spins. He tries to move and realizes maybe it isn’t just the deja vu. “W’happened?”
“Blood pressure shot up,” Eddie says, pressing the cold compress he’s holding to Tommy’s temple. “Your body shut down.”
Tommy’s heart jolts and he tries to lift a hand, finding it stuck by the monitor’s sleeve. “Is it–”
“Palpation’s good,” Evan interjects, squeezing his leg. He looks tired now, no longer itching for a fight. “We caught you before you hit the floor.”
“Good. Thanks.” Tommy breathes, relief flooding his veins. The emotional toll tugs at him and he swallows against the knot in his throat. “I’m sorry.”
Evan visibly bites the inside of his cheek to keep his face in check. “I’m sorry, too.”
There’s a lull. The fridge hums to his left, Evan sniffles occasionally, the monitor beeps periodically– Tommy feels like a stranger in his own skin.
When the sound of velcro rips through the quiet as Eddie removes the sleeve, he finds the energy to speak again. “I never meant to keep this from you.”
“Tommy,” Eddie warns.
“I know,” Tommy sighs. He’s not planning on blowing up his lid, again. If anything, he feels empty, having released all the pent-up tension within him. “Just. It wasn’t malice. I was waiting.”
Evan frowns, confused. “For what?”
“To make sure there would be anything to tell.”
Evan keeps frowning, confused before he exchanges a look with Eddie, and it clicks. “Tom.”
“It was one of our first conversations.” Tommy continues, “Kids. I know you wanted them, and would want to know about this one, but– I’m old. I never even knew I could grow life. My body keeps betraying me,” He confesses, curling his hands into fists. The cold of the tile is seeping into his bones, mocking him. “I can’t fly anymore. My Captain has me grounded at the station as a glorified clerk, I can’t watch games anymore because my heart tries to beat its way out of me, I can’t work on cars because of the chemicals, and I am stuck walking loops around the neighborhood cos I can’t even run –”
“You’re scared,” Evan interrupts. “I get that, I can understand that, but you seem to be missing a key factor, here.”
“I am?”
“I’m not here just because you’re pregnant with my baby. I’m here because you are pregnant with our baby.”
Tommy pauses, and wonders if he’s still out of it because, “I don’t understand.”
Evan carefully lays his legs on the floor and scoots a little closer. “Tommy– I’m saying that I care .” He pauses, looking like he’s waiting for Tommy to understand. He flaps his hands in agitation when it becomes clear he isn’t getting his point across. “About the both of you. I want to be here, and I wish I had known sooner, not just because I’m worried about whether or not this baby will make it past the first trimester but because I’m worried about you , too. I don’t– I don’t want this if it means you’re at risk, Tommy.”
Tommy’s silent for a bit, staring at the other man.
He takes in the furrow of his brow, the worry overlapping his frustration– His heart on his sleeve. He realizes he’s crying when Evan’s expression shifts to mild panic and he feels Eddie awkwardly dab at his cheeks with the compress he’s still holding. “Don’t.” He eventually gets out.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t give me hope that I get to keep you both.”
Evan stares down at him, incredulous, before his eyes harden and Tommy thinks, Oh. This is how it finally ends.
“Eddie?”
Eddie hums, trying not to show how awkward he feels, stuck between his bickering friends. “Yea?”
“Can you give us a minute?”
“ Gracias a Dios , yes–”
There’s a flurry of movement that has Tommy dizzy again but before he can protest, Eddie runs out of the kitchen and Evan takes his place. Warm, calloused hands cup his face and Tommy has the fleeting intrusive thought that his neck’s about to be snapped. “Tom,” He begins, thumbs rubbing against his cheekbones and wiping away tears and cold sweat. “Back at my apartment, you said your piece. Today, you did it again, but now ? Now, it’s time you listened . Earlier? I said that I loved you. I lied.”
Tommy holds the other’s gaze, despite the urge to run. “You don’t have to twist the knife–”
“Shut up,” Evan interrupts, then keeps going. “I lied. How? Cos it’s not past tense. It’s present tense. I love you. I never stopped. That night– You said a lot of bullshit, okay? About– about me finding myself, about you not being my last? I’m not even going to touch on how biphobic that sounded.”
“I’m sorry–”
“I’m not done. I may not have vast experience when it comes to dating men, but that does not mean that I can’t know what I want. I’m an adult, Tommy. I know what I wanted then, I know what I want now– And I want us . It doesn’t matter that you’re a guy; it matters to me that you’re you , and yeah, I jumped the gun– got ahead of myself and scared you off. Perhaps I had my pink goggles on, even, but you know what? The goggles are off, now.” Evan smiles, but it’s almost a wince, too. “You broke up with me and it hurt . I baked my feelings so much I could have opened a small bakery.”
“Your banana bread is great.” Tommy chokes out.
“Thanks, I got more at– Wait, no , stop interrupting me. I am still not done.” Tommy nods, gesturing at the other to continue. “You know why I baked? So I wouldn’t contact you. Every time I got the urge, I put everything into those cakes, and– I could have done anything . I could have redecorated, painted the walls, gotten into a new hobby– but you had a sweet tooth a mile wide, and even mad at you, I wanted to be close to you, somewhat. Then– I saw you bubbling me, today. I watch you type, type, type, and then just– give up.” Tommy saw the other’s throat bobble as he swallowed. “I wanted to call you. Eddie stole my phone. After our shift, I went to Maddie’s to vent… And then she told me she saw you, and all I could think of was how bad I must have been as a boyfriend if you were hiding this from me or thought you couldn’t tell me about it.”
“You weren’t. I just–”
“–Were scared.” Evan finishes for him and Tommy nods. “I get that now. I get why . And I’m sorry, for ever making you feel inadequate. Maybe… Maybe we’re still a little stuck. On that day, our official first date.”
“With the bad coffee?”
“Yeah,” Evan huffs out a laugh. “I said we didn’t know much about each other.”
“Practically everything.” Tommy smiled back.
“I still want to change that. I know that I want something, and I know now that I definitely want it to be with you.”
“And I’m definitely still interested if you’ll have me.” Tommy sniffled. He couldn’t believe his luck, yet… “I– have a condition, however. Two, in fact.”
“Anything.”
“First, I need you to tell me that you’re not just saying all this because I’ve got a bun in the oven.”
Evan sobers up then, expression softening. “I’m not. I meant it– I love you , and that comes before any proverbial baby. I’m here for you, first and foremost.”
“I just don’t want you to feel trapped.”
“I don’t, but now I have to ask something of you, too.” Evan leans in, brushing the pads of his fingers across his jawline. “You need to start trusting me. I know – I know it’s hard and it’ll take time but– Believe me when I tell you I care, okay? I’ll say it as many times as you need, just– try . Or talk to me when it gets hard, okay?”
Tommy nods. It’s nerve-wracking and he’ll have to work at it every day, but he’ll try. “Okay.”
“Good. Now, what’s the second condition? Maybe Eddie should have been here, be a witness–”
“Second condition is– please , slow down.” Evan blinks and then laughs, and Tommy feels the world flood with color he didn’t even notice was missing. He had missed this; the other’s laugh, the other’s warmth – “Too much?”
“No, but– Tommy . We’re having a baby. We’ve reached Mach speed.”
Tommy reaches then, taking hold of one of the other’s hands. Slowly, but purposely, he rests them over his stomach and feels Evan hold his breath. It’s reminiscent of how Evan had held his hand at the café all those months ago, and he blows a breath, hoping in his heart of hearts that this time– the third time is the charm. “Humor me?”
Evan blinks and then he’s leaning in, pressing their lips together.
Any other day, Tommy would be making a joke about upside-down kisses and all the pop culture Evan is still missing, but today? Today, he keeps his mouth shut and lets himself float on the feeling of wanting and being wanted back , flaws and all.
Evan pulls back, tears on his lashes. “Yeah,” He breathes, grinning. “I can do that.”
.
They make it past the first trimester.
The baby and their relationship.
.
Twenty-eight weeks later, Mabel Buckley-Kinard breathes her first.
(give me kudos and/or opinions)
#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911#911 abc#bekasstrife#tag:fanfiction#everyone was either writing copter crash or mpreg#and i have already done chopter crash lmao
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“Are you kidding?” I exclaim, backing away.
“Alright, calm down, Eleanor,” my adoptive father says nervously. “It was just an option. I just thought maybe you would want to see your family and friends again.”
I scoff. “My family was three days from marrying me off to the worst man in the village. I only had two friends, and one of them died two years before I left. Richard…I could see him again, but not at the cost of leaving here!”
“It was only an idea.” My father rubs his head. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I fold my arms. “I love you. You were more family to me than anyone in my original time was. And don’t forget, I was sucked out just a few years before the Black Death. Chances are, I wouldn’t have survived, so the anomaly likely saved my life.”
My father just nods, still looking guilty. “I just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy,” I say gently. “I get to spend my days here with you, go out with my friends on the weekends, I don’t have to get married, or take care of kids. Best of all, indoor plumbing!”
He laughs at that. “True.”
Later, I thought about the words I had said to him.
Every single one was true.
I was happy here.
And plumbing is fantastic.
You were born in the Medieval Age, but at 15, a time anomaly brought you to the modern era, where a scientist adopted you. Now, 11 years later, they’ve found a way to send you back and asked for your opinion, but your answer is clear: “Hell no.”
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Hello, how is your day going? I don't know if you are actually receiving requests, if not feel free to ignore this. What about you and Harry fighting in the car, maybe you're coming from a date and Harry was really late, the walk home is difficult with him and you start a fight, so she decides to get out of the car and walk home alone.
(English is not my first language so I apologize for any spelling errors that may have been made)
a/n: hello! My day is going well, thank u for asking. And yes, I do receive requests. No need to apologize—your english is great!
warnings: angst with a happy ending (sorry I couldn’t leave them like this!)
✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆ . ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶. ⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶
It was 9 p.m., and you had been sitting at this restaurant for the past hour, waiting for Harry. Tonight was supposed to be your date night—something planned since last week. You'd even reminded him this morning, but here you were, alone.
It had been Harry's idea to take you out, to spend time together, to simply enjoy each other's company after weeks of him being swamped with studio work.
When he'd suggested it, you were over the moon, practically giddy at the thought of a night just for the two of you. Just boyfriend and girlfriend.
You'd dressed up for him in the sheer black dress he loves so much, paired with your black stilettos that accentuated your legs. Minimal make up, save for the bold red lips that added a sensual edge to your look. You’d spent over two hours getting ready, perfecting every detail for tonight. But once again, you sat... disappointed.
He was late. not just ten or fifteen minutes, but a whole one hour.
Tears started to gather up in your waterline as the waiter approached your table for the third time, politely asking if you were ready to order. You forced a tight smile, declining him once again, murmuring that you were waiting for your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but feel like the staff was probably laughing behind your back—this poor woman, sitting alone, waiting like a fool.
Deep down, you knew it wasn’t an emergency or unavoidable crisis keeping Harry away. He’d used the same excuse too many times: Got busy at the studio, forgot to check my phone. Honestly, you were tired at this point of always coming second, but you know your pathetic heart will forgive him the second he starts blubbering out apologizes because you loved him—and you know he loved you, too.
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
You discretely wiped a stray tear that has rolled down your cheeks as the sound of commotion at the door caught your attention. Your eyes glanced to the entrance, and there he was—Harry, rushing inside, his eyes searching for her.
The second he spotted you, he knew he’d fucked up.
Harry strode over to your table, looking down at you with guilt written all over his face. His shoulders sagged as he spoke.
“Y/N—fuck, I’m sorr—“
You stood up immediately, not wanting to hear a word from him. Grabbing your purse from the table, you turned around and walked away. Ignoring him.
Outside, the cold air hit you like a slap, your hair whipping against your face as tears spilled freely down your cold cheeks. You wrapped your coat tighter around yourself, desperate to hold it together.
“Y/N, please—listen to me.” Harry pleads from behind her, his voice begging. He reached out to touch your arm, but you instinctively stepped back, putting more space between you.
"Don't,” you muttered, wiping your tears.
Harry froze, his hand hanging in the air for a second before dropping back.
His heart breaks looking at your state, your mascara slightly smudged, your nose red because of crying, and your cheeks red with biting cold. You looked so vulnerable, and yet you wouldn’t let him near you. The realization crumbles him from inside.
“I don’t want to hear anything; I want to go home. Just take me home or I’ll book a cab.”
You whisper, sniffling, your voice hoarse and shaky.
Harry’s throat tightened, but he nodded, silently stepping forward to open the car door for you. Without a word, you slid into the passenger seat. You fumbled with your seatbelt and stared outside the window. not glancing a look over him as he starts driving.
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
The drive home is suffocatingly silent. The air inside felt heavy with tension and unspoken words. The only sounds were the low murmur of the radio and the faint hum of the engine in the background.
Harry's grip on the steering wheel was tight, his jaw clenched as he fought to keep his emotions in check. The tension was evident as his other hand rested idling on his thigh, occasionally rubbing at his jaw in frustration. He wanted so badly to reach for your hand, to rest his palm on your thigh as he'd done countless times before. But he didn't. He couldn't.
It must have been forty minutes or an hour of driving in silence when you spoke, not able to sit in the tension atmosphere anymore. “Are we not going to talk about this?” You snaps.
Harry exhales sharply through his nose, trying to gauge a response: “What do you want me to say, love?" I said I was sorry.”
Y/N scoffs at his words, her frustration bubbling over. “That’s the problem, Harry. You think an apology fixes everything. It’s not about saying sorry—it’s about not doing it in the first place. You knew how important tonight was for me.”
Harry’s knuckles turn white on the wheel. “I didn’t get time to check my phone. I was so caught up in the studio—“
“Right, the studio.” Y/N interrupts bitterly, “Always the studio. Always something important than me.”
The words hang heavy in the air; Harry’s shoulders stiffen. His lips press into a thin line as he pulls the car over the side of the door, and tires crunching against the gravel.
“What are you doing?” You ask, heart pounding.
Harry throws his car into the park and turns to you, his green eyes stormy and dark. “I don’t know what you want from me; I’m doing the best I can.” His voice was low but sharp.
Your throat tightening at his words, shaking head, “Well, maybe your best isn’t good enough.” You whispers, trying to keep your tears at bay.
His eyes flicker, a flash of vulnerability breaking through his frustration, but you can’t take it back now. The tension feels unbearable. Before you could think, You unbuckles your seatbelt and reaches for the door handle.
“Where are you going?” Harry asks.
“Home.” Y/N bites out, stepping out of the car. The crisp air waves through your hair, goosebumps rising in your body. “I’ll walk.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he mutters back before opening the side of his door and stepping outside.
“Ridiculous?” You whirl around, glaring at him. “What’s ridiculous is me sitting there, pretending that I’m not hurt. Whats ridiculous is you acting like this doesn’t matter”
Harry’s chest heaves as he looks at you, searching for the right thing to say, but it doesn’t come fast enough; you turn around and start walking, your heels clicking against the pavement.
You hear Harry calling your name, but you don’t turn around, knowing there is nothing for him to say that would make you feel better—nothing. The chill of air whooshes past you as you hug yourself tighter, wrapping your arms around you, and quicken your steps.
The sound of his boots crunching against the ground, crisp leaves crushing beneath him as he follows you, the sound growing closer and closer, then you hear him say softly.
“Y/N, please..stop."
Against your better judgement, you stop. You stop in your tracks at his words and turn around. Harry jogs and comes closer to you; this time you let him... wanting to feel him close. His face morphs into something more painful than that clenched jaw like earlier. The lines of frustration are replaced by something softer, something that aches your chest.
“I get it,” his voice low, laced with hurt. “You’re hurt. And you’re right, I shouldn’t have been late, and I shouldn’t have brushed it off like it didn’t matter. It did; you matter to me.”
The sincerity in his words cracks your heart walls, the river of tears that you’ve been holding threatening to spill over.
"Harry, it's not just about tonight," you say, your voice trembling. "It's about feeling like I'm always coming second to everything else in your life."
His shoulders drop, and he steps closer, his green eyes fixed on yours. "You're not second, love," he says; the words sound like a plea. "You're the only thing that keeps me going half the time. And I know I've been worse at showing that, but I'll do better. I promise you, I will."
You blink at him, trying to brush away the tears. "You say that, but—"
Before you can finish, his hand gently takes yours. "Look at me," he says softly, and when you do, there's nothing but sincerity written all over his face.
"I'll prove it," he says. "Not just tonight, not just tomorrow—every day. I'll make time. For you. For us. You're the most important thing to me, Y/N. I swear it."
His words sink in, warming the cold that's settled deep in your chest. For a moment, neither of you speaks.
Then, his thumb brushes over your knuckles, and you realize how much you missed the warmth of his touch; he gently touches them and kisses each of your fingers softly.
"Can I take you home now?" he asks tentatively, a small, hopeful smile tugging at his lips.
Y/N hesitated for a moment before nodding, the fight in you ebbing away.
"Okay," you whispered.
He lets out a relieved sigh and takes a step closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly. "Thank you," he murmurs into your hair. "I'll make it up to you, love. I promise."
#the ending was kinda shit#I’m sorry#Harry styles au#harry styles angst#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles one shot#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles oneshot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles#harrystyles#harry styles smut#harry angst#one direction#harry styles imagine#harry styles fluff#harry fanfic#harry smut#harry styles drabble#harry styles book#harry styles au
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To Save Us Both
- Summary: Aegon was your shadow ever since you were a child. And once you come of age and Viserys gives your hand to Lord Tyrell's son, Aegon makes a decision that would save you both—and ruin you all the same.
- Paring: sister!reader/Aegon II Targaryen
- Rating: Mature 16+
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround
You had always been the quiet one, the shadow lingering just outside the gilded glow of your family’s attention. As the second daughter of King Viserys and Queen Alicent, you lived in the space between your mother’s careful plans and your father’s indulgent dismissiveness. Helaena had her dreams and riddles, and Aegon—your elder brother—had his bravado and recklessness. And then there was you.
From the earliest days, Aegon sought your attention with a peculiar intensity. At first, it was innocent enough. He would seek you out during lessons, deliberately sit beside you at the long table in the Red Keep’s library, or tug on your sleeve when you were absorbed in your Valyrian texts.
“Y/N, look at this!” he exclaimed one day, barely past eight, holding a wooden dragon he had carved—or at least claimed to have carved. It was crude, the wings uneven, but you smiled at him regardless.
“It’s… unique,” you replied, your voice soft, careful not to wound his pride.
“Unique?” His face fell slightly before he puffed up with exaggerated bravado. “I think it’s better than that. It looks like Vhagar, doesn’t it?”
“It’s a little smaller than Vhagar,” you teased gently, a rare flicker of mirth dancing in your eyes. Aegon’s pout faded into a grin, and he sat beside you, his body leaning just a little too close.
It was always like this with Aegon. He thrived on your smiles, craved your laughter, and seemed to falter when you turned away from him. When Helaena pulled you into her world of strange, whispered riddles or Aemond showed off his knowledge of dragons to impress you, Aegon’s mood would darken.
One afternoon, the court gathered in the gardens for a brief reprieve from the heat of the Red Keep. You had found a shaded spot beneath a weeping willow, a book of High Valyrian poetry resting in your lap. Aemond stood beside you, his expression serious as he recited lines from memory, his voice low and earnest.
“Se perzys ipradagon ziry ry,” he said, his pale gaze fixed on you. “The flame consumes it all.”
You nodded thoughtfully, your lips curving in approval. “You’ve improved,” you said, your voice warm, and Aemond’s face lit up with quiet pride.
From across the garden, Aegon watched, his jaw tightening. He drained his goblet of wine in one swift motion and made his way toward you, his steps purposeful.
“What’s this?” Aegon interrupted, his tone light but sharp around the edges. He flopped down beside you, ignoring Aemond entirely. “High Valyrian poetry? How dull.”
“It’s not dull,” you said, looking up at him with a small frown. “Aemond has been practicing.”
“Oh, Aemond’s been practicing,” Aegon mocked, his voice dripping with exaggerated awe. “How impressive.” He reached over and plucked the book from your lap, flipping through it carelessly. “You should do something more fun, Y/N. We could go riding or—”
“She doesn’t have time for your games,” Aemond said coldly, stepping closer.
“And you don’t have time for your lessons, apparently,” Aegon snapped back, his smile sharp. “Run along, little brother.”
“Aegon,” you said, a note of warning in your voice. He turned to you, the sharpness in his expression softening instantly.
“What? I’m just saying we could have more fun.” He leaned closer, lowering his voice. “You’d rather spend time with me, wouldn’t you?”
Your brows knit together, and you glanced between your brothers, torn. “Aemond and I were having a conversation.”
“But I’m more interesting,” Aegon pressed, his grin widening as he tilted his head, his violet eyes searching yours.
You sighed, a reluctant smile tugging at your lips. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”
“Only for you, dear sister,” he replied, the words carrying a weight you didn’t fully grasp.
As you grew older, Aegon’s attempts to claim your attention became bolder. When suitors began to glance your way at feasts, he was quick to position himself between you and them, his arm draped casually over the back of your chair, his voice louder, his laugh more boisterous.
One evening, a young lord from the Reach had spent far too long at your side, his compliments earning your shy smiles. Aegon, seated nearby, clenched his goblet so tightly that the metal bent under his grip.
When the lord finally excused himself, Aegon slid into his place, his eyes narrowing as he looked after the retreating figure. “Do you actually enjoy listening to that drivel?” he asked, his tone laced with disdain.
“He was kind,” you said simply, glancing at him.
“Kind? He was duller than a broken sword,” Aegon retorted, his gaze fixed on you. “You deserve better.”
“And who would that be?” you asked, your voice carrying a note of challenge.
His smirk faltered for a moment, his expression turning uncharacteristically earnest. “Someone who knows you. Someone who’s been by your side all along.”
Your breath caught, his words lingering in the space between you. But before you could respond, he laughed, the moment breaking as quickly as it had come. “But not him,” he added, his usual arrogance slipping back into place. “You’re mine, little sister.”
You blinked, unsure whether to laugh or scold him, but the possessiveness in his tone left an unspoken promise lingering in the air. Aegon would always vie for your attention, no matter who tried to steal it away.
The announcement had been made during a routine gathering of the family, with King Viserys seated at the head of the table, Alicent by his side. His words were spoken with the offhandedness of someone making a trivial decision, though the weight of them crashed into Aegon like a hammer.
“It’s time we secure another alliance,” Viserys had said, his gaze landing on you. “Lord Tyrell has expressed interest in a match between his eldest son and our daughter.”
You sat frozen in your seat, your wineglass trembling slightly in your hand. Across the table, Aegon’s face darkened. His lips parted as if to protest, but no words came. Instead, he stared at Viserys, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the edge of the table.
The conversation moved on, Viserys discussing trade agreements and naval concerns, but Aegon heard none of it. His mind was a whirl of chaos, his heart pounding so fiercely it drowned out the voices around him.
Later that evening, he stormed into Alicent’s chambers, his face pale and his violet eyes wild. She was seated by the hearth, embroidering a handkerchief with practiced precision. When she saw him, her calm expression shifted to one of concern.
“Aegon?” she asked, setting the embroidery aside. “What’s the matter?”
“I need to speak with you,” he said, his voice strained. He paced the room, running a hand through his hair, the usual air of arrogance stripped away. “It’s about Y/N.”
Alicent’s brow furrowed, her motherly instincts kicking in. “What about her?”
“They can’t marry her off,” he blurted, turning to face her. “Not to the Tyrell boy. Not to anyone.”
“Aegon,” she said softly, rising from her chair. “It’s a good match. Lord Tyrell is powerful, and his son—”
“I don’t care about his son!” Aegon interrupted, his voice rising. “I don’t care about alliances or power or any of it. She belongs here, with us. With me.”
Alicent froze, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studied her eldest son. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I can’t let this happen.” He took a step closer, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. “Mother, you have to stop it. You’re the only one he listens to.”
She reached out, placing a hand on his arm to steady him. “Aegon, you’re being irrational. Y/N’s future—”
“My future doesn’t exist without her!” he cried, his voice desperate. “Don’t you see? She’s the only thing in this world that matters to me.”
Alicent’s lips parted, her expression shifting from concern to something more conflicted. “Aegon…” she began, but he cut her off.
“She’s everything to me,” he said, his voice softer now, trembling with vulnerability. “When she laughs, it’s like the sun breaks through the clouds. When she looks at me, I feel like I’m someone worth being. And the thought of her—of her with someone else—” His voice broke entirely, and he turned away, his shoulders shaking.
Alicent watched him for a long moment, her mind racing. Finally, she spoke, her tone measured. “You care for her deeply.”
Aegon let out a bitter laugh. “Care for her? Mother, I love her. I’ve always loved her. And if they take her from me, if they marry her off to that Tyrell boy or anyone else…” He turned back to her, his face etched with anguish. “I’ll die. Do you hear me? I’ll die.”
The rawness of his words struck Alicent to her core. She had always known Aegon’s feelings for you went beyond brotherly affection, though she had hoped it was a passing infatuation. But the desperation in his voice, the tears brimming in his eyes—it was undeniable. This wasn’t a childish crush. This was a man willing to set the world aflame for the one he loved.
“You must speak to Father,” he pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper. “Convince him. Tell him it’s not the right match, that she’s too young, that the Tyrells aren’t trustworthy—anything. Just stop it.”
Alicent hesitated, torn between her role as a mother and her duty as queen. Finally, she nodded, her voice firm. “I will speak with him. But, Aegon…” She stepped closer, placing a hand on his cheek. “You must tread carefully. This path you’re walking—it’s dangerous.”
“I don’t care,” he said, his voice resolute. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her by my side.”
Alicent sighed, pulling him into a brief embrace. “Then let us hope the gods are merciful.”
As Aegon left her chambers, a flicker of determination replaced the despair in his eyes. If his mother couldn’t stop the betrothal, he would find another way. He would fight, scheme, beg—whatever it took. Because losing you wasn’t an option. Not now. Not ever.
The candles burned low in Aegon’s chambers as he paced the floor. The wine on his table sat untouched, an unusual sight for him. Tonight, Aegon’s mind was too sharp, too focused, to indulge in his usual vices. The Tyrell betrothal still loomed like a sword over his head, and every moment that passed without a resolution tightened the noose around his heart.
He had spoken to Alicent, begged her to intervene, but her assurances felt fragile against Viserys’s iron will. His father had grown increasingly indifferent to the pleas of his children, too consumed by his own decaying health and dream of uniting the realm. If Alicent couldn’t sway him, Aegon knew he needed to act. He needed to ensure that there was no choice but to keep you by his side.
The idea had taken root in his mind slowly, twisting and growing until it consumed him entirely. It wasn’t honorable, nor was it kind, but Aegon was neither of those things. He was desperate. And desperation made monsters of men.
That night, as the Red Keep grew silent and the court retired to their chambers, Aegon found you in the library. You were alone, the firelight illuminating your soft features as you poured over a book. It was a scene he had seen a hundred times, but tonight it struck him differently. Tonight, he couldn’t afford to wait, to hope that things would somehow fall in his favor.
“Still reading?” he asked, leaning casually against the doorway.
You glanced up, startled but not displeased to see him. “I could say the same to you. It’s unusual to find you here without a cup of wine in hand.”
He smirked, though the humor didn’t reach his eyes. “I suppose even I have my moments of sobriety.”
You smiled faintly and returned your attention to the page, but Aegon didn’t move. He stepped closer, his boots soft against the stone floor, and you glanced up again, your brows knitting in confusion.
“Is something wrong?” you asked.
“Why would you think that?”
“Because you’re hovering,” you said plainly, though there was no malice in your tone.
Aegon chuckled, but it sounded hollow even to his ears. He sat beside you, closer than usual, his knee brushing yours. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
He hesitated, his fingers tracing the edge of the table. “About the Tyrell boy.”
You stiffened slightly, your gaze dropping back to the book. “Father has made his decision. There’s little point in discussing it.”
“Do you want to marry him?” Aegon pressed, his voice low and urgent.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, your tone soft but resigned. “My duty is to the family, to the realm.”
“That’s not an answer,” he said, leaning closer. “Do you want him, Y/N? Do you want to leave the Red Keep, leave me, and go to Highgarden?”
You turned to him, your eyes wide with surprise and something else—confusion, perhaps. “Why does it matter to you?”
Aegon swallowed hard, his throat dry. “Because I can’t lose you. You’re mine.”
“Aegon—”
“Listen to me,” he said, his hand reaching out to grasp yours. “You don’t belong with him. You belong here, with your family, with me.”
You tried to pull your hand away, but his grip tightened. “Aegon, you’re not making any sense.”
“I love you,” he blurted, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. “I’ve always loved you, Y/N. And I can’t let them take you from me.”
Your lips parted, shock evident on your face. “You’re my brother.”
“And that makes it wrong?” he challenged, his voice trembling. “Our blood of the dragon is the same, our bond stronger than any lord or knight could ever offer you. Don’t you see? We were meant to be together.”
You stared at him, your mind racing, but before you could respond, Aegon leaned in, his lips brushing against yours. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, as if he were testing the boundaries of what you would allow. When you didn’t pull away, he deepened it, his hand moving to cup your cheek.
You pushed him back abruptly, your eyes wide with a mix of confusion and anger. “Aegon, this is madness.”
“It’s the truth,” he said, his voice raw. “And I’ll prove it to you. If they try to marry you off, I’ll stop them. I’ll make sure you stay here, with me.”
“How?” you demanded, your voice rising. “What are you planning?”
He hesitated, the weight of his scheme hanging heavily between you. “If Father won’t listen, then I’ll give him no choice. If you’re mine, truly mine, he can’t send you away.”
The implication of his words hit you like a blow, and you took a step back, your chest heaving. “You mean to ruin me,” you whispered, horrified.
“To save you,” he countered, his expression desperate. “To save us.”
You shook your head, tears brimming in your eyes. “Aegon, this isn’t the way.”
“It’s the only way,” he said, reaching for you again. “Don’t you see? I’d burn the whole world to keep you.”
You turned away, your heart pounding, and fled the library, leaving Aegon alone in the flickering firelight. He stood there for a long moment, his hands clenched into fists, his mind racing.
If you wouldn’t accept his love willingly, then he would ensure there was no other path for you to take.
Whatever it cost, whatever it took, you would be his.
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd x reader#hotd x you#hotd x y/n#game of thrones#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#fire and blood#hotd aegon#aegon ii targaryen#aegon ii x reader#aegon ii x you#aegon ii x y/n#aegon targaryen#aegon the second#aegon x reader#house targaryen
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God bless your dad's genetics… Dilf! Anakin x son’s girlfriend!reader
synopsis: when your best friend Luke asks you to pose as his girlfriend during his parents' 25th wedding anniversary cruise, you reluctantly agree. After all, you're single, he's desperate, and who can say no to an all-expenses-paid getaway? But what starts as a simple favor spirals into a tangled web of awkward introductions, suspicious relatives, and one undeniable complication: your growing, utterly inappropriate crush on Luke’s father, Anakin. Surrounded by the charming and chaotic Skywalker family, you’re forced to navigate the tricky waters of pretense, loyalty, and a passion you never saw coming.
warning: age gap (Anakin is 44 years old and the reader is in her early 20s), cheating, alternate universe, that's it for now, I'll add more warnings when the next chapters come out.
words: 1.1k
a/n: I confess that I've had this idea marinating for a while, and now seeing the latest photos of Hayden at comic-con, he's so dad coded. So, I decided to take a chance and start a story, I don't know how many chapters there will be yet, but I'm excited to see where it will take us... Slightly inspired by Fuck your boyfriend('s dad) by forcemeanakin, I'm obsessed with her writing… Anyway, that's it, I hope you like it ;)
CHAPTER ONE: CRUISE
you were meant for me to find
it's out of my hands
there's nothing left to do but
cruise and just enjoy the ride
“Wait a second, let me get this straight…” you interrupted Luke, raising your hands to halt his rapid-fire explanation. He’d been talking non-stop for nearly five minutes, and you were still struggling to piece it all together. “You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend at your parents’ 25th wedding anniversary? Why on earth do you even need a fake girlfriend?” You adjusted yourself on the bed, pulling a pillow against your chest for comfort, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Luke let out a long, dramatic sigh, raking a hand through his messy blond hair. “You know how my parents are… always in my business. And now with Leia bringing her boyfriend, I just don’t want to be the only one showing up alone.” He looked at you with those pleading puppy-dog eyes, his voice softening. “Come on, just this once. Please? Didn’t you say you wanted to go on a cruise someday? Here’s your chance.”
You arched an amused eyebrow. “So, what—you’re trying to bribe me now?”
Luke shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with a loose thread on his jacket. “Well, when you put it like that…” he muttered sheepishly. “Look, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. I—I trust you, okay? You’re the only person I can count on for this.”
His desperation was hard to ignore. You exhaled slowly, shaking your head. “Fine, I’ll do it,” you said, a reluctant smile tugging at your lips. “But only because of the all-inclusive package. Don’t think this means I approve of your ridiculous plan.”
A grin split across Luke’s face as he lunged forward to hug you. “Thank you! Seriously, you’re saving my life here.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered, pushing him back playfully. “But if this backfires, you owe me big time.”
Luke hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. “Right, um… about that. I might have already put your name on the guest list.”
Your eyes narrowed as you shoved his shoulder. “You what? Idiot.”
---
Now, a few days later, you found yourself standing on the pier, the midday sun beating down mercilessly. You checked your phone for the third time, scrolling through messages with a faint scowl. Still no word from Luke. If he left you waiting much longer, you were seriously going to kill him.
“Hey!” His voice cut through the buzz of the crowded dock. You turned to see him jogging toward you, a backpack slung casually over one shoulder. He looked a little too cheerful for someone who had left you baking in the sun.
“You’re late,” you called, crossing your arms as he approached.
“Fashionably,” he quipped with a smirk, completely unbothered by your glare.
“thought you’d forgotten about me,” you teased, elbowing Luke lightly in the chest as he finally reached you.
Luke shrugged, offering a sheepish grin. “Blame my parents. They were running late because my dad accidentally packed the wrong suitcase for my mom. Total chaos—everyone was scrambling to fix it.”
You chuckled, imagining the scene. Though you hadn’t met Luke’s family yet, you’d heard plenty about them over the years. His parents were something of a legend in his stories: the perfect, if sometimes chaotic, couple who’d married young and raised twins.
Padmé Amidala, Luke’s mother, was a force of nature. A federal deputy and professor of International Relations, she somehow juggled her demanding career with being a devoted wife and mother. Strong, brilliant, and endlessly busy, yet always managing to prioritize her family.
Anakin Skywalker, Luke’s father, was no less impressive. A retired army general, he’d left his military career after the twins were born to focus on raising them. Luke often spoke of how his dad spent hours tinkering in their garage, restoring vintage cars and building gadgets—a far cry from his days in uniform.
“Come on, let’s get moving,” Luke said, snapping you out of your thoughts. He grabbed the handle of his own suitcase and motioned toward the massive cruise ship docked ahead.
You followed, letting him lead the way. The pier was packed with elegantly dressed guests, most of whom were likely Padmé’s colleagues—senators, representatives, and a mix of politicians from all corners. The line to board snaked back farther than you could see.
“Do we really have to wait through all this?” you asked, eyeing the crowd and clutching the handle of your wheeled suitcase.
Luke shot you a sly grin. “We don’t wait in lines.”
Before you could ask what he meant, he veered off toward the front of the queue, guiding you toward a set of stairs reserved for VIPs. You followed, struggling a little as your suitcase bumped against the steps.
"Luke, get your girlfriend's suitcase," a strong, masculine voice called out from behind you, deep and commanding yet tinged with warmth. "Otherwise, she'll think I didn’t teach you how to be a gentleman."
Startled, you turned toward the source of the voice just as Luke, already at the top of the stairs, groaned in exasperation. He glanced back with a tired expression but made no move to help.
“It’s okay, really, it’s not heavy,” you mumbled shyly, gripping the handle of your suitcase a little tighter. But as your eyes met the man addressing Luke, the words caught in your throat.
Your lips parted slightly in disbelief. Gods… what a man.
Standing before you was, without a doubt, the most stunning man you’d ever seen. Anakin Skywalker. His angular face was framed by sandy blond hair, slightly tousled with subtle waves that gave him a rugged charm. His piercing blue eyes—so vivid and expressive they seemed to pull you into a storm—were framed by faint lines that hinted at years of experience and a life well-lived. His presence was magnetic, his confident stance and the faint smirk on his lips radiating an almost effortless allure.
“Come on, I insist,” Anakin said, his voice softening as he stepped closer. He reached out and gently took the suitcase from your hand before you could protest. His touch lingered just briefly, and the warmth of his hand sent a flicker of heat up your arm. “Not heavy, huh?” he teased with a wink, his tone laced with amusement.
You managed a weak nod, your heart racing as you watched him carry your suitcase up the stairs with ease. Every movement was graceful, effortless, as though he hadn’t spent years off the battlefield but still carried himself like he could command a room—or a galaxy.
Luke rolled his eyes at his father’s display, muttering under his breath. “Show off.”
Ignoring him, Anakin reached the top of the stairs and set your suitcase down carefully before glancing back at you with an easy smile. “Welcome aboard,” he said, his voice warm and inviting.
You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to keep your expression neutral, but your mind was racing. What the hell have you just gotten yourself into?
#anakin skywalker x you#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#dilf anakin x reader#dilf anakin#alternative wolrd#star wars#hayden christensen
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“… and be sure to report any further unusual tectonic activity. Dismissed.” Bats finally finished the report. Why was he here? Right the first five minutes had been about the possibility of magic having been used. This really should have been an email he just ignored or left Zatanna to deal with. Bunny girl was better at feigning interest than he was after all. “John, Zatanna if you would both remain.”
Damn the brat. Why did the inter dimensional brat decide today to bug him? John knew he could pop up at literally any point in time like it was normal. It was revenge. For what offense he didn’t know. Or maybe he hadn’t even done it yet. Stupid fifth dimensional traveling.
“… stantine. CONSTANTINE.” “Bugger off.”
“John.”
Shit. Okay first names were bad with the cape. Like find a new existence and disappear off the face of the planet bad.
“Right sorry mate just, distracted.”
“The fact that an eldritch horror from who knows where was hanging off you like a scarf actually had some effect on you? You must be getting sentimental in your old age.”
“Love we both know that if it was weighing on me I wouldn’t be around to talk. You wouldn’t be either.” John had some respect for Zatanna. She was a good mage. Understood the proper importance of a cigarette and a blokes need to keep up appearances. Usually at least. “Got a cig?”
“Those will kill you someday.” The disapproval and sarcasm rolled off her tongue as smooth as the honeyed lies the lass would use with magic. John wanted to quip back but settled for a death glare as the big bad bat threatened to perfect his own death glare on him. Why did the bat have to be such a stickler? Rules rules rules. Rules don’t save lives when they shackle you from good. Damnit. Why were all the big dogs so damn… good?
“Hrm.”
Right the bat. The bat that right now probably wanted to string him up by his ankles and let the archdemons sort out how to cut him into nice even thirds if his damned rules didn’t stop him. Why did he have a cigarette?
“Uh bats?”
“Hrm.”
Just as loquacious as always that cape. Keep that thought inside. Definitely keep the thought inside. Especially as you take that stupidly expensive cigarette.
“Thanks. I could really…” The cig was hard. It was candy. The bat almost had an actual expression under the cowl, there was the slightest tightness of the lips. A smirk. He was smirking. ”You know what? Fuck you.” The fake cig crunched in his mouth. It actually tasted pretty good. Not that he was going to ever let anyone know that. “I’m going home. Hopefully to eat my leftovers. The brat isn’t a threat. If you want to know just ask the lass about the between or the Infinite. Or better yet go ask Grundy about The Protector.”
God he needed a drink. And a smoke. And maybe another drink. John was pretty sure that his food was gone too.
“How old is he?”
Dammit lass. Why did you always know just what to say? “14…. I think.” John replied stopping at the door to the stupid tech magic tubes that Supes had insisted on. “He’s some other world’s hero.”
The lass had to think on that one. Not every day you meet an alternate. “Is he… okay?”
“He’s doing alright. Insists his parents couldn’t understand though, so he always carries it alone. Protects people that way, or so he says.” John finally let himself laugh. It was a fitting description of most of the capes who worked with the league. And himself. If he was generous. Pity he couldn’t afford to be generous with himself anymore. “I’m just his fallback. And debit card.”
“It would do him some good to meet others. If you can invite him to the next picnic.”
John blinked slowly. Then turned. The Bat had a smile. A proper smile. Soft and understanding. How? The man was almost certainly just a mass inhuman muscle and brains with the bare minimum speech capability bundled into a bat suit. “I’ll make sure to offer it. But he’s still weird about his… abilities.”
“I’ll get him added to the budget.”
“Budget?” Now this was sounding promising. While the league did pay it wasn’t much more than rent for the closet he used to access the house.
“For young heroes or metas under league guidance. One of the points Bruce Wayne insisted on when he decided to find us officially. So they have a safe place.”
“I’m a safe place?” John’s incredulity was finally outweighing his paranoia. A hefty feat considering even he considered himself to be 90% paranoia by volume.
“Sure sounds like it mate.” Only the lass could say something so damning like it was a good thing.
“{Guess so}” Why did he understand the grunt? Are the grunts some secret dad cape speak? Why was he suddenly qualified for…. Nope. Nope. He’s going home. Sleep liquor and maybe a bit of tele. No he wasn’t tearing up. And no one could see his face to tell you otherwise.
Danny has met Constantine.
Constantine has a coat.
Danny regularly pops out of it to say hi or when Constantine calls him for something.
Nobody in the JL knew this, so when Danny popped right on out in the middle of a meeting.
Well.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#john constantine#John is Danny’s safe place and a provider of food he doesn’t have to put down again#And he’s really not sure about this assigned role#But the house treats him like it treats John#Maybe even slightly better#So he can’t really hid it#And well#from what Danny says about his life?#John really doesn’t want to anymore#Because no kid should have to fight the eldrtich horror that satan built hell to keep out#And then have to go to highschool again in the morning#John anytime he thinks about this kid and what he must be going through: I got to help this kid not become an eldritch horror#danny every time he’s interacting with John: he’s my adopted fun uncle and I have to mess with him while Benny hill plays in the background
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Hey chat...
I literally have so many scenarios in my head it's killing me
Could you do a scenario where the reader shields Isha from the blast (or whatever) which results in her on the verge of death. How will jinx deal with it? And how will she save her
(I'm trying to cope with the loss of my baby Isha 😞💔)
Sure! Here ya go but probably sucks, haven’t wrote one of these in a while! Enjoy!
Heading photos made by @diana-foggy-master !
Sacrificial
You could only process what the girl was thinking when her small feet started running past you helping Jinx off the ground.
The familiar act was so hard to miss. It was like watching Powder all over again all those years ago the night everything went wrong.
You couldn’t handle it again.
“Jinx? Jinx- I’m so sorry.” You apologized to your lover on the ground. Jinx looked at you, confused with her face having splatters of blood drops. But she was so confused. What were you sorry for?
It only clicked when she saw you running after Isha into what she knew she would never get you back from.
“No- no!” Jinx cried out, getting up with the look of horror on her face when you ran. She tried reaching for you like you did her all those years ago, only to fall short. She lost you.
She lost you before you even got to the girl.
Isha was right within your grip, tears falling from your face as you knew you wouldn’t be coming back home to your lovers and your bed.
“Isha!” You yelled, reaching for her as she kept running, shoving gemstone after gemstone into Jinx’s gun.
“(Name)! Isha! No!” Jinx cried, trying her best to get to the both of you as Isha slid to the ground, moving just like Jinx taught her to as she finally got to Vander.
Jinx was caught by Vi, crying and blubbering as her heart and chest constricted at the thought of you leaving her with her mind.
What was she gonna do? She couldn’t fix this once it was done.
Isha had barely mimicked Jinx back at her, the little finger gun motion breaking your head. Isha wasn’t dying. This wasn’t how she was gonna say goodbye.
Isha lifted the gun to Vander, and by the look on his face as he saw you nearing you could tell he had no control over this. Just like back then.
Isha had barely closed her eyes, and you saw the smile on her face. She looked almost content to die. Like it was a release. You felt bad for taking it from her.
She barely pulled the trigger when you grabbed her, pulling her to your chest and curling around her.
Isha’s eyes shot open, panicked for a split second as she tried to push you away and out of there. But you were older. Stronger. The way you wished when you were younger to be like Vi.
You barely managed a smile to Isha as you held her, and even years later she could still hear your voice and see your smile as you whispered in her ear.
“You’ll be okay. Take care of her for me, will ya?”
The gun went off.
And you were gone.
The reaction was immediate. Isha didn’t feel you anymore. She was cold, your arms around her gone as she finally opened her eyes after praying to whatever god there was that you were okay.
Nothing.
Not anything of you was left behind.
All she heard was Jinx’s wailing, and her little heart dropped to her stomach at the realization.
You were gone.
Because of her. Isha took you from Jinx.
“Isha! Why- why would you do that?!” Jinx cried, even though she knew you’d hate to hear the words coming from her mouth but she couldn’t stop herself.
She pushed Vi off of her, running to Isha out of relief and anger as she searched for you to come up with nothing.
She grabbed the girl by her shoulders, crying and blubbering as she sobbed.
“Why would you- (Name)?! (Name)!” Jinx cried, yelling it out as she searched for you.
Isha had no idea what to do with Jinx’s anger but cry with her as she felt your absence.
Jinx wasn’t able to process this, and Vi could only watch as the one thing her sister held dear to her heart from when they were kids, you, was gone. Just like that.
Jinx’s sobs turned to wails as she felt her heart being ripped from her chest. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
You were supposed to be okay. Vander was supposed to come back. They were supposed to stay and be happy. Vi could even be there.
Jinx had her family back, and now it was all gone.
Her wails kept going, she gripped onto Isha cause she would be damned if she let her out of her sight for her to be taken to.
Her head fell to Isha’s shoulder, the girl's cries mixing with her own as Isha’s little fingers gripped onto her.
Jinx and Isha crumbled together on the floor, crying and sniffling and sobbing. What happens now? What comes next?
How can anything come next…when you’re gone?
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‼️MINORS DNI‼️
el oh el but pls imagine having sex with shidou and sae recording it, but like.
shidou has a muzzle on, because he’s a loud, bitey boy, and sae is so possessive he hates seeing anyone’s marks besides his own tainting your pretty skin- even if it’s shidou, who is literally his and your boyfriend- and every now and then in your haze, you feel the plastic bump into your clammy skin, and you hear shidou roar in anger.
“take this fuckin’ thing offa me, dickhead,” he growls.
“you haven’t earned the privilege to,” sae says simply. “when you’ve earned the right to be out of the muzzle, i’ll let you out, pup.”
theyre both so dominant, so rough, but sae will always hold the title of “dom” over shidou.
shidou’s big, beefy hands grip your waist sharp enough to leave indents with his nails, and he’s got you ass up on your knees while he pounds mercilessly into you, cock prodding your cervix with every thrust of his hips. the entire bed shifts and creaks as he rocks into you, reeling his hips fully back before using all the force he can muster to slam back into you. your entire body moves with him, and your thighs burn from keeping your hips so high in the air, your only saving grace being your chest and face are smushed into the mattress, drool and tears staining the already dark ruby comforter.
your body trembles. the heat between all three bodies makes you writhe and stir. your pussy throbs around shidou’s girthy dick, juices spilling from your hole causing a froth that splatters against your ass with every pound he gives you.
all the while, sae is on his knees just a few inches away, close enough to touch but too far for your jellied limbs to reach out for, which makes you whine. he’s got his phone camera steady in his hands while his cock stands proudly, but dejectedly, at the sight of his girlfriend being ruined. your eyes struggle focusing on him, but when you do make eye contact, he smirks down at you.
“guess you’re not fucking her well enough, shidou,” he jeers. “she still looks for me while you’re balls deep inside of her. what a brat.” he brings the phone down to your face, and you whimper and try to hide in the mattress from embarrassment and the bright light of the flash.
only for shidou to stop pounding you for a moment, just a moment, and lace his fingers through your hair, pulling you up to face the camera. your arms instinctively firm to hold your weight up and try to ease the burn on your scalp. “is that right?” he snarls. “you want sae to take care of this sensitive pussy? my cock not good enough for you anymore?”
there is no right answer. you know if you say no, you want shidou, he’ll force you to take his cock until you both cum, only for sae to make you face away while you ride him in punishment- which wouldn’t be so bad, if sae would help you, touch you, acknowledge you, but his resistance to cumming can take hours; you’d almost think he’s not into it, if it weren’t for his tightening balls betraying him. he doesn’t even let you look at him, he’s so mean.
you say yes, you want sae, sae will put a cock cage on shidou to keep him from cumming without permission, fuck you at his own pace and his own leisure, and then free shidou into finishing inside of you, tearing up your raw pussy even more while he records it again, the whole time threatening to send it to everyone on his team to show them what a slut you are. he’s made good on his word before and showed them, leading to dozens of soccer players to slide into your dm’s and ask how easy it is to get you onto their cock.
you sniffle and blink a line of fresh tears out, only for sae to catch it with his thumb and bring it to his lips to savor the salty liquid. “well? what do you want, you insatiable girl? do you want me-“
“or me?” shidou hisses. you can see the grit of his teeth through the muzzle.
you gulp. your lips slowly part and you make fishlike mouth movements as you struggle to conjure words.
sae, unimpressed, grips your chubby cheeks in his thick fingers, smushing them close and pursing your lips out. “words. use them.”
“b-both…” you confess. “want both… please?”
you watch sae’s lips curl into a smile again, eyes blazing with excitement over your words. he looks at shidou, “well then. guess we’re going to have to ruin another little hole, aren’t we?” the phone gets guided down to his cock, as he grips it in his hands and starts to jerk himself off.
“you think you’re cummin’ anytime soon, you’re wrong, you little freak,” shidou assures, letting go of your hair and thrusting hard enough your arms give out and your chest lands heavy against the mattress. you whimper as your world spins, fingers fisting the comforter as a means to ground yourself. “not before me, you brat,” shidou grunts before slipping out of you. you cry out as he does, squirming and writhing at the feeling of being so empty. you collapse onto your side, feeling butterflies for the delicious torment you’re about to be subjected to. “i want that little squealy throat of hers. teach her a lesson from all that bitchin’ and whinin’.”
sae rolls you onto your back and gets between your legs, thumb lazily rolling over your clit before pulling the small bit of protective skin back and spitting a hot wad of spit onto your pulsing bud, all the while the flash of his camera fixates on your quivering pussy. you jerk from all the attention to your puffy, swollen gash, and he sneers.
“you can take her throat, shidou,” sae says coolly, as if you’re not splayed out on camera. “bring her to the edge of the bed so you don’t get in my way.
“because i want this cunt all to myself right now.”
#GRRRRR MORE RYUSAE GRRRRR#WANT TO MAKE SHIDOU CRAZYYYY 🫣🫣#shidou ryusei#shidou ryusei smut#shidou ryusei x reader#shidou ryusei x reader smut#shidou ryusei imagine#shidou ryusei bllk#itoshi sae#itoshi sae smut#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae x reader smut#itoshi sae imagine#itoshi sae bllk#bllk#bllk smut#bllk imagine#blue lock#blue lock smut#blue lock imagine#minors dni#smut
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Prev / Next / Beginning
TW: Conversion "Therapy" Mention / Homophobia
AN: Sorry this one took a while! - longer than I'd like away!. Coming back from a mini vaca and getting back into work and routine is a nightmare, also my delicate sleep schedule is ruineddd. Anywho, we should be back in business now! :) now, DJ play Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan!
Transcript under the cut
Geoffrey: Great job, bud! Tree is looking great!
Malcolm: It’s because I’m a decorator like mommy.
Jonathan: Mom, are you leaving? We’re supposed to decorate the tree too.
Nancy: Save a few ornaments for me to put on there, darling. Mommy has to step out for a couple hours.
Geoffrey: Johnny’s right, you know. Decorating it is apart of the deal.
Nancy: Can’t you spare me an hour or two?
Geoffrey: Remember what I said about being there?
Nancy: That’s not fair. I’ve been doing better, haven’t I? I left work early, which I’m hardly ever able to do and we found the tree together. I haven’t seen Vanessa in 16 years, Geoffrey. This is important to me.
Geoffrey: Yeah, well, this is pretty important to them.
Nancy: Please don’t make me feel guilty about this.
Geoffrey: It’s just you and Vanessa, right?
Nancy: [frowns] Yes, of course. I’ll be back, ok?
-
Vanessa: I’m glad you came.
Nancy: I wouldn’t have miss this for the world.
Vanessa: You look so beautiful tonight.
Nancy: [blushes] So do you. You’ve always have.
Vanessa: [smiles] I wasn’t sure on your choice of champagne, so I hope you don’t mind we have mine. I guess it’s one of the many things we’ll have to learn about each other.
Nancy: This is perfect. I’m sure I’ll love anything you like.
Nancy Narrates: [I found myself unable to eat. Instead, I got my fill of her. I studied her, consumed the sight of her with greedy, curious eyes]
Nancy Narrates: [It thrilled and frightened me the way she took me in too, as if she was trying to recall all those precious details that may have gotten lost in time. Seeing all the ways I could have changed and stayed the same]
Nancy Narrates: [One thing was for certain: my heart still raced the moment our fingers found one another, just like when we were girls. It was a delicate and familiar touch that I could feel from inside, and it was almost as if no time had passed at all]
Vanessa: [softly] Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, the woman you’ve become. I’ve thought of you, over time, what kind of woman you grew up to be.
Nancy: Is it what you expected?
Vanessa: Successful? Powerful? Stunning? Yes, I like to think so.
Nancy: I’ve thought of you too.
Vanessa: Yeah?
Nancy: I thought about what you did, after high school. Who you became. If you fell in love. If you thought about me too. Feels good, knowing you did.
Vanessa: I think holding on to the version of you I remembered kept me sane, after all this time. Do you mind if I smoke? Helps my nerves.
Nancy: As long as I can bum one.
Vanessa: Hey, do you remember our first cigarette together?
Nancy: How could I forget?
Vanessa: Share a light with me. For old times’ sake?
Vanessa: So, care to share all those burning questions you said you had for me?
Nancy: Now I feel like I’m being put on the spot.
Vanessa: Oh, come on. Don’t go shy on me now. How’s this? I’ll ask a question, then you, and so on.
Nancy: Alright. Shoot.
Vanessa: Do you still talk in your sleep?
Nancy: I- what!? I did not talk in my sleep!
Vanessa: Oh, yes you did. Full sentences too. You monologued even.
Nancy: Fuck off, I did NOT talk in my sleep! How would you know anyway? You were practically narcoleptic. I’d be up for hours after you fell asleep.
Vanessa: [murmurs] Still talks in her sleep- in denial about it. Ok. Got it. Your turn.
Nancy: I’ll ask a REAL question this time.
Vanessa: [smirks] That was a real question. I came all this way just to know but ok, ask away.
Nancy: Well, speaking of ‘all this way’. Where do you live?
Vanessa: Here and there. I don’t like to sit in one spot for too long; I get restless. Bored. I’ve spent the last 6 months in Tomorang. Beautiful people. Lovely culture. That’s actually where I heard your name mentioned for the first time. You’ve got quite the reputation over there. You’ve been up to no good, I hear.
Nancy: Christ...long story. Please don’t ask. Are you thinking of moving here?
Vanessa: Ah, ah. It’s my turn. Let’s see...ah! Who’s idea was it to make Geoffrey ‘Mr. Landgraab’. That’s probably the funniest shit I’ve ever heard.
Nancy: My parents, of course. They didn’t want to erase the family name and since they no longer have a son to continue their legacy- well. You get it. Speaking of marriage, are you married?
Vanessa: No, I’m not married.
Nancy: Well. Are you...seeing anyone?
Vanessa: [smirks] No.
Nancy: Children?
Vanessa: No children either. Those counts as a question, by the way.
Nancy: Oops. Ok, ok, you can ask two then. It’s only fair.
Vanessa: I guess I’ll ask a ‘real question’ then. Are you happy like this?
Nancy: [pauses] Like...what?
Vanessa: Married. Married to him. Does it make you happy?
Nancy: [shifts] I care for him very much. He’s the father of my children. He’s a good man and he’s good to me. Why are you asking me this-
Vanessa: Do you still like women?
Nancy: Do you?!
Vanessa: You have to answer my question first-
Nancy: Did you get my voicemail? November 2nd, 1993. I called you and I left you a voicemail. Did you hear it?
Vanessa: Nancy-
Nancy: Why didn’t you call me back? What—what happened to you, Vanessa? Where did you go? Where have you been!? Why, after all this time, am I just now seeing you?
Vanessa: It’s not really the easiest thing to talk about, but I know I owe you closure. [exhales] After I was pulled out of school, my father had me admitted. I received treatments to ‘fix’ me. Every time I fucked up and pissed off my father, he’d pack me up and ship me off until I came back normal and obedient.
Vanessa: There were days I thought I couldn’t keep going on like that, but then I heard your voicemail, and it... scared me. It made me angry. It broke my heart, but most importantly, it woke me up. I finally found the strength to escape my father and live my own truth. It cost me everything—my family disowned me. I relinquished my fortune, but in return, I’m free. I’m free, and I can live the life I deserve. I just... I wish I could have called, but life didn’t work out that way.
Nancy: It should have because I did call you, Vanessa.
Vanessa: I know.
Nancy: [weakly] I said that I loved you..
Vanessa: I know, I know...things were different for me back then.
Nancy: Things are different now! I’m married. I’m a mother!
Vanessa: I know, Nancy. I didn’t come here to break up a happy home.
Nancy: Why did you come here?
Vanessa: Can’t a girl miss her best friend?
Vanessa: Listen. I’ve thought a lot about how I would fit into your life if I ever got to see you again, if this was something you would want at all. That time we shared in our youth was the happiest I’ve ever been. I missed that feeling. I’ve missed you. I’m in a place to explore a friendship with you again, if you want it. If not, then I’ll accept that.
Nancy: I do want this. I want you here. I just...I can’t...
Vanessa: I know. It could be simple. Easy. I miss you, Nancy.
Nancy: [sighs] I miss you too. I’ve missed you so much.
#the art of being seen#the landgraabs#tw conversion therapy#tw homophobia#sims 4 simblr#ts4 simblr#sims 4 stories#sims 4#sims 4 community
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“What?!”
The hero looked to Nuvian with a very puzzled expression, the half-elf bard just smirked a bit and gave him a wink. Up until now he was the model of virtue, always helping the hero make the right choice so the people would love him. Telling the best stories so his path stayed true…so the works coming out of his mouth right now were jarring at best.
“Yes, let me toy with him for a while. I think I can get three or four weeks. Two months if I use this new healing spell I’ve been trying to learn on the side. Oh I think his screams will be wonderful…a symphony for the soul if you will.”
Nuvian smile as he moved the villain over to make sure his heart was still bleeding and offering some stabilization without waking him up. The hero was just dumbfounded at the moment.
“I…I was just going to kill him.”
Nuvian didn’t even look back as he made sure to search the Villain’s pockets and remove everything but enough clothes to leave his modesty intact. He moved like he was an expert at this, like it had been done a hundred times and this was simply business as usual. Even his tone was as light and warm as it ever has been.
“Oh, I know, but that was never the plan my dear friend. This was the plan. This has always been the plan.”
The rest of the party was recovering. They had all been just hurt enough to have to stay behind for the final battle leaving only the hero and his trusty bard to face the boss alone. None of them grievously injured…but just enough so they wouldn’t be at full so they weren’t strong enough to walk through the barrier.
“The Plan? You need to talk to me Nuvian. I want you to explain everything right now!”
The Hero panicked, had he just been manipulated this entire time? Were his motivation his own? Panic…worry…dread. He said he’d never be a puppet again. Not since escaping slavery.
“Oh it was simple. Keep you good, get you strong and get to the villain. Kill him, won’t help you feel better. You know it needs to be done though. If you did this, you’d lose part of yourself. Which is fine. You’ve only killed monsters up to this point, mindless hunks of meat that deal out constant aggression. They have no emotions, no anything. They are easy to kill. Sentient beings on the other hand, well that isn’t you cup of tea. Don’t worry, your quest was yours alone, I didn’t need to make you do anything. I was just along to get to this point.”
At this point the Hero didn’t even notice Nuvian hoist the Villain up on their horse and secure them to the saddle. The bard then turned to his friend and walked over to put a hand on his shoulder. The Hero’s eyes locked with his friend and oddly enough he found comfort in them. This was the man who had saved his life, who sang by the fire at night to quell the restless spirits that banded together to remove the Villain from power. He was there, it couldn’t have all been a lie could it?
“Listen, you aren’t the only one this bastard has hurt. On top of that he knows things, things no one but me knows he knows. So I want some answers. I get to have fun while I rip them from his flesh. I’m a nice person my dear Hero but I’m not a good one. Do you remember the corrupt mayor that we punished last year?”
The Hero nodded and then froze.
“What did you do to him? We left him in a jail cell and moved on. The city was supposed to do what they needed…but then you had business. I…I watched you get on a boat and leave. We met up a month later.”
Nuvian just smile and squeezed his friend’s shoulder. He then motioned for him to sit down in the batter throne they found the villain on while Nuvian sat in the stewards spot.
“Well, I did have business, but I just had the ship drop me down the river and I looped around back. I then hunted down every noble that supported the Mayor, I tortured them to make sure there were no hidden secrets, and then I tortured the mayor till his body gave out. I did some of my best work. A demon actually came up from hell to have me autograph a square of his flesh after his body gave out and his soul hit its final destination. It was really an honor. Shows I’m on the right path. Most polite pit fiend I’ve ever met. Didn’t use my real name of course, not that stupid. We had a laugh over it, all in all a great time.”
The Hero was still stunned but honestly he didn’t feel bad about it. He didn’t give the go ahead for this, but he knew if anyone deserved those fates it was that pedophile mayor and his lackies. Reason was starting to return, and the more Nuvian talked the more the Hero realized that it wasn’t that he didn’t know his friend, he just didn’t know ALL of his friend and that was okay because he was finding out now.
“Alright, if that is what you want to do I’m not going to argue or stop you. Come find me when you are done though okay, I want to take you out to the tavern for a drink.”
Nuvian just chuckled and brought his friend in for a hug. He knew the Hero wasn’t naive and thus why he was chosen as a traveling partner and one to help him get to his goal. Find, capture, break and then murder the Villain. The process took three years, but three years of well spent effort.
“Deal.”
The bard said as they parted ways and he turned to head out of the place before the rest of the party could try and press their morals upon them. Nuvian could only chuckle as he head the Villain groan in pain. Oh it was going to be SO much worse in just a day’s time…he couldn’t wait.
'You can't kill him!' 'Ugh I am so sick of this idea that killing this monster would make me just as bad as he is!' 'What? No I'm saying I can keep him alive for DAYS while I torture him' '…'
#writers#writers on tumblr#writing prompts#writeblr#writing inspiration#Writer#Fantasy#Magic#Lawful Evil#UnknownOgre
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Omg I started reading your fics and I fell in love😭
I wanted to request a Rafe x reader (angst) where like she's Kiara older sister but she dies instead of JJ, and its all angst and something like that 🥲
(its okay if you don't want to write this!💋)
Love you!!! 💓
𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲 [𝗿𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗼𝗻]
first request yay !! i’m new to writing on tumblr, so here’s my first one! excited to do more <33
pairing - rafe x pogue!carrera!reader
warnings - angst, hurt, sad asf, reliving jj’s death but plot twist it’s you this time, cursing, death
summary - ask above ↑ you’re kiara’s older sister. (rafe’s age gap to sarah is what i imagined!). when you’re in morocco on a dangerous trip to help your friend jj get answers, everything goes terribly wrong. in a last stitch effort to save your best friend and sister, you end up clinging for life in your boyfriend’s arms with your friends beside you.
i can’t see anything. my arm covers over my eyes as dust blows in every direction. the hot air coats my skin covered by cloth.
“rafe!” i shout, trying to see, trying to find him. he ran off with john b and sarah. and now, i couldn’t find him.
that’s when i see my sister, and jj.
i stand back, dodging behind a wall so groff wouldn’t see me. my hand covers my mouth in shock as i see groff holding a knife to my sisters neck. “shit.” i mutter.
“give me the crown, and you can have the girl.” groff says, sticking his arm out gingerly, while holding kiara close to his chest.
“okay, okay, you can have it. just give me kiara.” jj says, raising his hands in defense.
i try to watch through the dusty sandstorm as jj reluctantly and carefully trades the crown for kiara. they both switch hands at the same time, kiara collapsing in jj’s arms.
groff holds the crown to his chest, a sick smirk on his face. his eyes flick to the knife in his hand, then back at jj.
no. no. no.
before i can even think, my feet are moving before my mind could. through the blazing heat and thick sand storm, i move blindly. going in the direction of kie and jj, i slot myself between jj and groff.
i gasp, my hand coming to my stomach. my eyes are locked onto groff’s and he raises his eyes in surprise.
“y/n!” i hear the desperate pleas of my sister fade into blurry obscurity. i couldn’t recount every moment after that. it was all a blur of pain.
my breathing is heavy, but fast. kiara had propped me up against a weak wooden pillar.
“y/n! it’s gonna—gonna be okay? okay?” kie says, her voice shaking. i could barely hear her over the roaring winds around us. jj was kneeling next to kie in front of me. he wasn’t saying a word. he was in shock, staring at the blood beginning to stain the moroccan cloth clothing cleo stole for all of us.
the blood that was supposed to coming from his own abdomen, was now instead, on his hands. i furrow my eyebrows at him, silently pleading for him to not feel guilty. i shake my head.
“it’s okay.” i whisper weakly.
jj’s eyes were full of guilt, regret, and anger. this would kill him. the survivors guilt. and i knew kiara would be fueled by anger and revenge.
after everything we went through on this trip, to get here. to save jj’s family legacy. to get him answers. and to save what was rightfully ours on kildare, the surf shop.
instead of leaving in riches, smiles on our faces—i would never leave. and my friends would all leave with vengeance in their hearts, and no place to go home to.
as i think about my friends, all the pogues—my mind goes to my boyfriend. the one kook with us. and suddenly, my heart is ripped in two.
my eyes immediately meet jj’s. weakly, i plead. “find rafe. please.”
jj nods firmly without a second’s thought. he stands, pulling the bandana over his nose and finding rafe.
“kie.” i whisper, my voice weak as my lip quivers. i look at my sister who’s hands were pressing harshly against my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding.
“no, no it’s fine—you’re fine!” she exclaims as tears violently and rapidly soar down her cheeks.
“hey.” i say, getting her attention.
finally, her glassy eyes move from my stomach to my face, a sob escaping her lips.
“i love you, kie, okay?” i sniffle. “save a seat for me at the maybank wedding, hm?” i tease with a weak chuckle.
“shut up.” she says through gritted teeth, hot tears never stopping. “i won’t have to. cause you’ll be there. cause you’re my sister-you-you’re supposed to be there.”
“okay.” i whisper with a weak nod.
she presses her lips together, closing her eyes. she hears the agreement and compromise in my single word response because, i didn’t want to argue. even if it was a stupid, little argument about her adamance of my survival. my last moments with my sister couldn’t be ended in trivial bicker.
“i love you too.” she whispers.
“y/n?!”
i look up, seeing rafe rushing toward us with an urgency i’ve never noticed him have before. jj trailed behind, john b, sarah, cleo, and pope following suit.
“baby.” rafe whispers. he kneels next to me, moving my body slightly so my back laid against his chest. kie still knelt in front of me, her hands holding pressure on my stomach.
i tilt my head back slightly as i look up at rafe. “hi.” i whisper weakly.
he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, shaking his head. “no. no, no, you’re not goin’ anywhere, alright? we-we’ve talked about this. you can’t go before i do.”
“tell that to groff.” i wince, groaning as i lean against him. “fuck.” i mutter in pain.
“i’m gonna fuckin’ kill that bitch.” rafe spits. i look up at him, and see tears falling down his cheeks.
my hand weakly reaches up, pulling down the bandana from his nose. “hey.” i whisper softly, my touch gentle as my thumb wipes his tears. “i’m gonna be fine.”
my eyes dart down at my sister. “right, kie?”
her lip quivers violently, she presses harder against my stomach. then, her eyes look up at rafe.
even though my sister and all of my friends hate rafe—they understand. they see how much he cares about me. ever since we started dating, parts of them had grown slightly tolerant to him. because when he’s around me, he’s a little nicer. a little sweeter.
and they know that even if they don’t trust him, i do. and rafe has shown it time and time again. that he cares about me. for real.
“yeah, rafe.” she whispers, her voice shaking. “she’s gonna be fine.” kie says, but i don’t even think she believes the words anymore.
“y/n…” john b says, his lips gaping open. sarah stood beside him, her hand covering her mouth. “oh-oh my god.”
“no, no.” rafe snaps. “don’t say that!” his voice is firm and sharp. “she’s gone be fine! go get help don’t just stand there and gasp—“
“hey, hey.” i say softly, my hand brushing against his cheek. “stop.” i whisper.
john b nods. “no, he’s right. we-we’ll go find help.” john b grabs sarah’s hand as they run off, searching for help. pope looks back reluctantly, but i nod at him. both him and cleo follow to find help. but there was no one for miles. we were screwed.
“you can’t leave me, alright?” rafe gasps, his voice breaking. “everyone else in my life, they always fuckin’ screw me over. yo-you’re the only one i can trust.”
his lip quivers and he leans down, pressing open mouthed kisses to my forehead. “please, baby. you’re all i have, y-you’re everything. c’mon, you-you remember, right?” he sniffles, pulling back and looking down at me.
my eyebrows furrow as i look up at him weakly, letting him continue.
“we gotta buy that house. t-the white one, with the blue shutters on the marsh.” he sniffles. “and you can get all the fuckin’ cats, dogs, bunnies, whatever you want—“
i chuckle softly, clutching my stomach from the pain the laugh causes. rafe and i had been together for about eight months. we’ve talked about moving in together. and there’s this house, on the marsh on figure eight. my dream house. rafe and i always would talk about it and make up scenarios of our future together.
one of them, involved him and i in the backyard of the house as i tend to our many pets. he groaned in annoyance the first time i mentioned it. but, i guess he secretly loved it. he’d do anything for me. anything i wanted, he’d make sure i had it.
“yeah, baby. all the pets. a-and then, i gotta make you mrs. cameron. okay? s-so don’t even think about leavin’ alright? we have so much more-more to do, please.” he begs through shallow cries and gasps.
“okay.” my eyes slowly blink up at him. i weakly bring my hand up, sticking out my pinky. “we’ll have the house, all the pets, and i’ll be mrs. cameron. pinky promise.”
he presses his lips together as a particularly rough sob threatens to escape. his hand comes to mine, his pinky latching on. “pinky promise.” he whispers.
i smile softly at him, then slowly turn my head to kie. “i love you.” i whisper to her.
she nods firmly. “i know. i love you too.”
then, my eyes turn to jj. “it’s not your fault.” i weakly whisper. “thank you, j. for being my best friend. you’re really good at that.” my voice breaks. “p4l?” i chuckle softly.
jj smiles as tears fall down his cheeks. “p4l.” he repeats.
“and, if you break my sisters heart—i’ll haunt you or some shit.” i weakly chuckle. jj grins, a laugh slipping from his lips. his hand comes up, rough knuckles wiping at his tears, he nods. “got it.” he whispers.
i look back up at rafe, leaning further into him, my hand coming up to rest against his chest. “i love you.”
“i know. i love you more. i got you.” he whispers, his voice a ghost now from how low and shaken it is. he presses a kiss to my hair, holding me impossibly close.
i didn’t want to die. but, as my body grew weak, my eyes wanted to close. i just wanted to go to sleep. and part of me hoped that, if i went to sleep, i’d wake up in a few hours magically, in a hospital bed.
maybe john b, sarah, pope, and cleo found help. maybe it’ll be okay.
but if not, i’m okay with that too. i got to go with my favorite people. kiara, my sister. jj, my best friend. and rafe, the love of my life.
as my eyes begin to flutter shut, i take in rafe’s features one last time. my gaze brushes over his blue eyes, the curve of his nose. down to the shadow of his cheekbones, and the purse of his lips that i had gotten the luck to kiss so many times.
i said everything i could’ve possibly wanted to say. i got to die, with the people i loved most in the world. i was okay.
and hopefully, in a few hours, i’d wake up. and get to live a long life with all of them.
but for now, i was going to sleep.
—
damn yall that was sad asf. making me relive jj’s death 😞 hope u enjoyed !! thx for the request lovies !! <3
#rafe cameron#obx fic#rafe obx#rafe cameron imagines#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron blurb#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron smut#drew starkey#protective rafe
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All Arcane characters.
How would they react if they were in a bad situation and ended up in a difficult spot with their s/o across from them, totally unharmed.
They thought their s/o would help them out but was surprise to see us turn and rush away like a scared mouse, resulting them to the defend theirselves.
🤷 short answer: we got scared and ran away, leaving them behind
if their s/o ran away, leaving them in a tough spot:
————————————————————————
Vander:
The fight was intense—too intense. Vander had his hands full with enemies surrounding him, but he always expected you to be there, fighting by his side. He turned for a split second, looking for you, ready to get through this together. But then he saw it—you were running. Like a scared animal, darting into the shadows, leaving him to defend himself alone. His heart sank, confusion and hurt mixing in his chest.
His breath was steady, though, and his fists were still strong as he fought back, making sure they didn’t think they had the upper hand. But he couldn’t stop the sting of abandonment. “I thought we were in this together,” he muttered to himself, eyes flicking to the empty space where you once stood.
When the fight was over, he stood tall, a silent disappointment settling deep in his bones. He’d protect you to the end, but now, he’d be waiting for you to explain why you ran. He deserved answers.
Jinx:
It was chaos. Explosions. Fights. The kind of madness Jinx thrived in. She expected you to be at her side, playing along with her crazy world. But when she turned, seeing you dash away like a frightened bunny, her heart stopped for a moment. “What the hell, Y/N?!” she screamed, her voice laced with hurt and disbelief. The wild energy she had was suddenly gone, replaced by a frantic, hurt panic.
But she didn’t have time to dwell on it. She couldn’t. Her mind spun into a whirlwind of chaos as she threw herself at her attackers with everything she had. After the fight, when the dust settled, she’d be furious. She wouldn’t yell, though. She’d just… watch you. Cold and distant. “You left me,” she’d say, her voice trembling with something more than anger.
Vi:
Vi didn’t need backup—she was used to fighting alone, after all. But she thought you’d be with her. She thought you’d be her partner in this, but when she looked over, you were gone. Her brow furrowed, and the weight of betrayal hit harder than any punch she’d thrown. Her punches were fast and furious, each one fueled by the anger coursing through her veins. But inside? She was hurt.
When it was all over, she’d turn to find you. “What the hell was that about?” Her tone was sharp. “You think I can’t handle it without you? You think I needed you to save me?” She was angry. Angry at the situation, but mostly at you for running.
Sevika:
Sevika didn’t flinch when things got bad. She never did. But when she caught sight of you running away, her eyes narrowed. There was a flash of something—disappointment, but mostly anger. She didn’t need anyone to fight for her, but she thought you’d be there. She thought you’d be strong.
After the fight, her steps were heavy as she walked toward you, her gaze unwavering. “I didn’t expect you to be a coward,” she said, voice low and dangerous. She wasn’t going to beg for an explanation—she’d make you come to her.
Silco:
Silco was no stranger to betrayal, but this? This felt different. When you ran, his heart didn’t skip a beat—no, he didn’t have time for that. He fought, every movement calculated and precise. But inside? It was the kind of hurt he couldn’t shake.
Once it was over, he’d find you. He’d never raise his voice—that was beneath him. But he’d make sure you understood how much you’d disappointed him. “You don’t leave me,” he’d say softly, his gaze sharp. His tone wouldn’t hold anger, but there would be no mistaking the weight of his words.
Ekko:
Ekko was used to being the one who ran. He didn’t expect you to run too. When you bolted, his heart dropped, confusion clouding his mind. Why did you leave him? He fought through the pain, taking down enemies with precision, but every time he landed a blow, he couldn’t shake the disappointment. You left him.
Once it was over, he’d stare at you from across the room. “Why’d you leave me?” His voice wasn’t angry, but the hurt was there, deep and raw. You were supposed to be there with him. Together.
Jayce:
Jayce always wanted to protect you, to keep you safe. But when you ran, his world tilted. His hand clenched around his weapon, his thoughts scattered. He couldn’t understand. Didn’t you trust him? Didn’t you believe in him?
As the fight went on, he did his best to keep his cool, but the sting of betrayal made his attacks fiercer. After it was over, he’d turn to find you, his voice low but filled with disappointment. “I thought we were in this together.” His gaze would be soft, hurt, but still firm. Why?
Viktor:
Viktor’s mind was sharp, his focus honed like a blade. But when you ran, it knocked him off balance. His heart skipped a beat. Was he not enough? Was he too weak to keep you there? He pushed through the pain, every step he took calculated, every move precise. He couldn’t lose. Not like this.
When the fight was over, he’d take a moment to gather himself, his breath shallow. He wouldn’t yell—he never did. But when he found you, his words would be quiet, but full of meaning. “I thought you knew me better than that,” he’d say, the hurt hidden behind his calm tone.
Caitlyn:
Caitlyn had always counted on you. She never doubted you’d be there. But when you ran, her heart plummeted. She fought through the chaos, but something was off. She couldn’t stop thinking about you, about why you’d left. Didn’t you trust her?
After the fight, when it was all over, she’d find you, her gaze hard but concerned. “I thought we were a team,” she’d say, her voice wavering just slightly. “Why didn’t you stay with me?”
Mel Medarda:
Mel had never expected to rely on anyone, but she’d thought you were different. When you turned and fled, her heart tightened, and she was forced to keep her composure, her voice cold. She wasn’t surprised—no, not really. She didn’t need anyone. But the look of abandonment hurt more than she let on.
When it was done, she would find you, her eyes cold but searching. “Did you really think I couldn’t handle this without you?” she’d ask, her words sharp like glass.
Ambessa Medarda:
Ambessa was all about power, and she didn’t need anyone. But when she saw you run, she was… disappointed. She thought you’d be stronger. But she didn’t let it show. She took down her enemies with a practiced ease, her movements calculated.
After the fight, she’d stand before you, arms crossed, and would stare you down with those piercing eyes. “You think I can’t handle things on my own?” Her voice would be icy, the words cutting deeper than any weapon.
Cecil B. Heimerdinger:
Heimerdinger was used to thinking quickly, but when he saw you run, his heart sank. The sudden abandonment was something he wasn’t prepared for, though he didn’t let it stop him from pushing forward. After the battle, he’d find you, adjusting his glasses with a quiet but stern gaze. “I had hoped you’d be more capable,” he’d say, his disappointment palpable.
Salo:
Salo wouldn’t show his hurt, but deep down, it stung when you ran. He had been prepared for anything but that. He didn’t say anything during the fight—he didn’t need to. But when the dust settled, he’d face you, his tone low. “I don’t understand,” he’d say. “You didn’t think I could handle it?”
Scar:
Scar was a survivor. But when he saw you run, he paused for the briefest second, a flicker of something in his chest. It wasn’t betrayal—it was confusion. He finished the fight, but when it was over, he’d find you. “You left me. Why?” The question was quiet, but the weight behind it was immense.
Maddie Nolen:
Maddie was fierce, but when you turned tail and ran, it shook her. She wasn’t the type to rely on anyone, but she thought you were strong enough to stand by her side. When the fight ended, she found you. “What was that about?” Her voice wasn’t angry, but the confusion was clear. You left me.
Lest:
Lest never expected to be abandoned. When you ran, she gritted her teeth and fought harder, but deep down, she was… hurt. When the fight was over, her voice would be quiet, but full of meaning. “You left. Why?”
#arcane imagine#arcane vander#arcane victor#mel medarda#mel arcane#arcane x reader#arcane headcanon#arcane vi#x reader#sevika x reader#silco x reader#jinx x you#ekko x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#character x reader#maddie arcane#ambessa medarda#sevika headcanon#heimerdinger#salo arcane#lest arcane
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What We Have Left
Pairing: Agatha Harkness x Reader
Summary: After surviving the Witches' Road, you and Agatha find solace in caring for each other as you navigate the aftermath—her haunted by nightmares and you recovering from near-fatal injuries. (canon-divergence)
Warnings: physical hurt (R), emotional hurt (A), comfort
Words: 1.4k
A/N: Another request fic :) It took me so long to figure out how Agatha and Reader could survive without taking away from Agatha's character arc so it's as close to canon as possible.
AO3 | Master List
After the chaos of what happened with Rio and Billy, you don’t know exactly how you survived. The last thing you remember is the weight of magic swirling violently around you, the air crackling with danger. Agatha had been ready to sacrifice herself, a final act of redemption that would have consumed her completely. But something had shifted in the moments before her fate was sealed—your desperate magic, unpredictable and wild, surged in response to her intent. In a flash, it felt as though time bent, reality warping around you both. A surge of energy, as if the universe itself had decided you were both not yet finished, had pulled you from the brink of destruction.
But it had also sent you flying backward.
You’d crashed into a jagged outcrop of stone, your already fragile body sustaining more injuries. A deep wound had opened along your side, nearly severing you in half, and your chest felt like it was caving in with each strained breath. It wasn’t just exhaustion; it was the real fear that you wouldn’t make it. You were too close to death, the darkened edge of your vision creeping in, when Agatha’s hand in yours had pulled you back from that final brink. You weren’t sure how, but it felt like she was holding you together in those final moments before you slipped into unconsciousness.
—
Your injuries keep you from being able to get upstairs, so you spend your days and nights on the couch trying to recover. Agatha promises to stay close, swearing she’ll sleep in the armchair beside you. But every night, you wake to find her pacing instead, her movements restless and agitated, her silhouette framed by the faint light above the stove.
The house is quiet tonight, save for the rhythmic sound of Agatha pacing in the next room. The soft creak of the floorboards betrays her unease, a subtle sound that feels much louder in the stillness. You know the routine by now—she doesn't scream out or cry, but she can’t seem to stay still. She’s trying to outrun something, her breath coming quicker, hitching in the air as though there's a monster that won’t let her rest. The nightmares are worse tonight. You can feel her anxiety through the walls—a tension in the house that makes it hard to breathe.
You lie back on the couch, a thin blanket draped over your legs, shifting carefully to avoid pulling at the bandages wrapped around your ribs. The dull ache is persistent, a reminder of what the Road has taken. What it has demanded.
“You’re awake.”
Her voice startles you, and you turn your head to see her standing in the doorway. She looks dishevelled, her hair wild and her lips chewed raw. Agatha Harkness, once a picture of control and sharp wit, seems smaller these days. Her sharp, calculating eyes are clouded now.
“So are you,” you reply softly, watching as she crosses the room and lowers herself into the chair beside you.
She looks at the floor, fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “I didn’t mean to wake you. The dreams... They’re worse tonight.”
You reach out, your fingers brushing hers gently. “You didn’t wake me. Couldn’t sleep from the pain anyway.”
Her eyes flick to your bandages, her gaze lingering on the blood seeping through them. Her face tightens in frustration, but there’s something darker beneath the surface—a flicker of panic in her eyes. Her hands tremble as they hover near your side, as though she wants to help but is afraid to make things worse. She’s breathing faster now, her chest rising and falling with each uneven inhale. “You’re still in pain.”
“It’s manageable,” you lie, though you know she can see right through you. She always does.
Agatha stands abruptly, her movements sharp. “Let me change the dressing. It’ll help.” She doesn’t wait for you to agree, disappearing into the kitchen and returning with the first aid kit.
She kneels by your side, her hands surprisingly gentle as she helps you sit up, unwrapping the bandages with practiced precision. Her fingers linger on the jagged cut running along your side.
“This one’s healing slower than the others,” she mutters, more to herself than to you.
You wince as she cleans the wound, but you keep your focus on her face. Her brow is furrowed, her lips pressed into a tight line. She is concentrating, but you can see the tremor in her hands.
“Agatha.”
She doesn’t look up. “Almost done.”
“Agatha.” Your voice softens. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Her hands still. For a moment, the only sound is your breathing, uneven and shallow. Then she shakes her head. “It was, though. I led us there. I put you in danger.”
“And we both survived,” you counter. “That’s what matters.”
She finishes rewrapping the bandage in silence, her hands lingering on your side before pulling away. She sits back on her heels, staring at the floor.
You reach for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She hesitates, her eyes flickering toward the window as if searching for an escape. But then her gaze softens, and she looks back at you. “I see them, you know,” she says quietly. “In my dreams. The ones we lost. Lilia, Alice, Mrs. Ha—Sharon... I see them; I hear their voices.”
Her voice cracks, and she quickly looks away, but not before you catch the glint of tears in her eyes.
You lean forward, wincing as pain flares in your ribs. “They don’t blame you, Agatha. None of them do.”
“How would you know?” she whispers, her tone tinged with bitterness. “You can’t know.”
“Because I know you,” you say firmly. “And I know you did everything you could.”
Her expression crumbles, and for a moment, she looks so much younger, so much more fragile than you’ve ever seen her. The indomitable Agatha Harkness, finally undone by the weight of her own guilt.
You cup her face with your hand, your thumb brushing away a tear that slips free. “Agatha,” you murmur, your voice soft. “You don’t have to carry this alone.”
“And what about you?” Her eyes open, sharp and searching. “You’re the one who nearly died, and you’re still acting like you have to take care of me.”
“I want to take care of you,” you say simply.
“I’m not sure I deserve it,” she murmurs, her voice cracking. Her hands shake slightly as she tugs at the hem of her sweater, the fabric clutched too tightly in her fists as if trying to steady herself. She won’t look at you, but you can see the tremor in her jaw. It’s a subtle thing, but you know that she’s fighting against something much bigger than just guilt. There’s a panic beneath it, a fear that maybe she can never escape what happened, that the person she is now—the one who’s failed so many—is someone who doesn’t deserve forgiveness, or love, or even peace.
“Too bad,” you say with a weak smile.
Agatha’s hand comes to rest over yours, holding it against her cheek. “You’re a stubborn witch,” she says, a hint of her usual wit breaking through.
“Takes one to know one,” you reply, your smile growing.
For a long moment, the two of you stay like that, the silence between you no longer heavy but filled with something softer.
“I didn’t actually know what I wanted from the Road,” you say suddenly, the words tumbling out before you can stop them.
Agatha’s eyes open, and she looks at you with a mixture of curiosity and concern. “What do you mean?”
“I thought I wanted knowledge,” you admit. “Or power. Or maybe to finally understand myself.” You hesitate, searching for the right words. “My magic’s always been... all over the place. Never strong enough in one area to fit anywhere. Protection spells don’t hold long, potions are hit or miss, divination’s a disaster... I thought the Road could give me something to make me belong.”
“And did it? Since Billy’s maybe made it real and all that,” she asks softly.
You nod your head. “Yes. It gave me you.”
Her breath hitches, and for a moment, you think you’ve said too much. But then she leans forward, her lips brushing against yours in a kiss so gentle it makes your heart ache.
It isn’t a kiss born of desperation or passion. It’s something quieter, something fragile. A shared promise that, no matter how broken the two of you might be, you’ll face it together.
When she pulls back, her hand lingers on your cheek. “I don’t deserve you,” she murmurs.
“You do,” you say firmly.
For a long moment, she’s silent, her lips pressed together as she absorbs your words. You can almost see her mind racing behind her eyes, calculating the weight of your reassurance. Her expression shifts just slightly, and for the first time since the Road, you see a flicker of something like peace in her gaze—a brief, fragile relief that she doesn’t have to bear the whole world’s weight on her shoulders alone. It’s like she’s finally starting to believe it. Then she exhales a shaky breath and stands, pulling the blanket up to cover you more securely.
“Get some rest,” she says softly. “I’ll be here.”
“And you?” you ask, catching her hand before she can pull away. “Will you sleep?”
Her lips twitch into a small, reluctant smile. “Maybe.”
“Liar,” you tease gently.
She sighs, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I’ll try. For you.”
She stays by your side that night, her hand clasped in yours as you drift into a fitful but comforting sleep. Whatever the Road has taken from you, it has left this: a bond forged in fire, unshakeable and enduring.
#agatha all along#Agatha Harkness x Reader#agatha all along fanfic#Agatha Harkness Fanfiction#Agatha Harkness#Angst#Comfort#Romance#Fighting#Hurt/Comfort#X Reader#Marvel Fanfiction#Marvel x Reader#Wanda x Agatha#Fighting Angst#Broken Ribs#Physical Injury#Emotional Hurt#Angst with Comfort#Soft Moments#canon divergence#slow burn
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YO- I'M IN THE EPIC SERVER AND I PUT THIS THUMBNAIL AND SOMEONE REPLIED THIS:
HOMIE? WHY?? AND OK I GET IT, THEY HAVE A SAD ENDING, BUT THAT WAS GOING TO BE A FUTURE ME PROBLEM, NOT A NOW ME PROBLEM I WILL MAKE IT AN EVERYONE PROBLEM NOW, HAND ME MY EURYMENE LORE
Chapter 1:
Odysseus hugged the baby, Ctimene came to his mind, when she married Eurylochus, they tried to have children. She cried every time she lost the baby, begged every god and goddess, but nobody heard her request. The first kid she had in her arms was Telemachus, and he saw her cry even harder. His second in command told him that he was worried for the princess’ mental health. Maybe he could give her the baby. But what if he doesn’t end him now, and years later there was no one left to save?
“The blood in your hands is something you won’t lose; all you can choose is whose.”
Chapter 3:
Take orders from Poseidon, that was the offer, he would get the benefit of being the ruler of Ithaca. Eurylochus didn’t want that, he didn’t marry the princess for the power, they didn’t even live in the palace. And also they don’t have an heir. The perfect solution was kill Odysseus and Penelope, then raise Telemachus as if he was their son.
— I don’t want any of this, I don’t want to be king.
— Then wouldn’t you like to save Ctimene?
I CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE, I'M TOO SAD, ALEXA PLAY OPEN ARMS
Eurylochus and Ctimene, not much to say, I just did it while listening to Flores amarillas (let's just not talk about the flowers, I got lazy af), gonna write a one shot about them cuz I got inspired
#this is so sad#alexa play open arms#epic the musical#epic ctimene#ctimene#epic eurylochus#eurylocus epic#eurylochus#eurymene
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Sometimes I think the Knight of Dawn gets criticized for his actions too much as if it’s entirely his fault for what happened. 🤔 (and you know, not Henrik, the other soldiers, the other countries, etc. fault too.)
(Yes, I am saying this knowing what’s coming in part 6 soon. Lol)
Don’t get me wrong, he is the one wielding the blade at the end of the day. But in general, I feel many often overlook his background and his actions.
He was taken in by the king. We don’t know what happened or what led to this. We don’t know why the fairies blessed him nor any info about his parents or even where he was born/taken from. We barely have any info about him as a person.
He was raised as a knight and he felt duty bound to not only the King who took him in but also to Princess Leia.
Which is used against him repeatedly by Henrik. He’s a knight and he has no choice but to obey the commands given to him even when he doesn’t agree with them.
But yet
At the first sign, when he’s free from those obligations/threats, KOD goes against all of that. When no one is watching. He does what he can in those moments. He does what he believes is right.
I think most often forget. We don’t all have the freedom/choice to rebel or go against powers higher in status/stronger than us no matter how much we want to.
Especially when loved ones are being held over our heads. In this way, even General Lilia couldn’t disobey Meleanor’s commands. Not only because he didn’t have the power to go against her but also because it was a command and he had to keep the eggleus safe.
Both of them had duties to fulfill that they could not refuse.
That’s why the little moments counts and did they count and have an everlasting effect even centuries later.
KOD could have taken Malleus away from Lilia. With Lilia’s injuries and even with Baul’s help, they wouldn’t have stood a chance against him.
If he was truly a coward and “evil,” he could have striked them down and used Malleus against Meleanor as well. Then Henrik would have had “two pets” to parade around.
But the Knight of Dawn didn’t allow any of that. He helped Lilia escape the rubble. He even recognized General Lilia for his reputation. He let him go.
He knew what was in store for Malleus if Malleus was taken. He didn’t want that to happen to him.
By letting Lilia go, Malleus was saved and born. Through these actions from KOD, Silver was also saved centuries later by the very faes KOD helped.
This cascaded later into allowing two faes, a human, and a half human-fae to eventually meet and form a deep bond.
Was going to keep these in the tags but then changed my mind because I think it’s true and should be said.
History is full of people who have rebelled loudly and proudly but it’s also filled with people who worked quietly.
This applies to both Lilia and KOD. They were both loud (the war) and quiet (hatching the egg, letting the faes escape) in their actions.
Sometimes, the smallest actions with even the quietest voices have a perpetual effect that’s just as powerful as the loudest voices and actions.
#twst knight of dawn#twst dawn knight#twst analysis#twst character analysis#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia vanrouge#diasomnia#twst tkod#dawn knight#twst kod#knight of Dawn#twst book 7#general lilia vanrouge
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