#but it was really nice to go back and reread :')

[planetpedri]

this is gonna make me sob into my pillow but #2 angst thingy with pedri 😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣

Peace — Pedri González.

Pairing: Pedri González x Fem!Reader

Summary: Breaking up after a a three year long relationship had hurt you tremendously, but when Pedri had texted you that he got injured and wanted you to come to the hospital… well you couldn’t say no.

Word count: 1.47k+

Disclaimer/s: Based off the prompt ‘Hold me, please?’ , angst to comfort / fluff.

A/N: hi im on an angst kick don’t expect much happiness coming out of bea’s blog.

You reread and reread Pedri’s text. Over and over and.. you get the gist. You couldn’t help the pity that built in your heart, but you also couldn’t help the anger that arose along with it.

It had only been a week, for God’s sake. You’d broken up a week ago and the wound was still fresh. Angry thoughts clouded your mind the whole drive to the hospital, all the way up the elevator, to the door, but the second it opened and your eyes landed on the man you had folded.

Every rage filled feeling disappeared, replaced by the overwhelming urge to comfort him. You hold back, cautiously poking your head through the door. “Uh, can I come in?”

At one side of the bed was Pedri’s mother, only furthering to the awkwardness of it all. Seeing your ex and his mother a week after you’d broken up was not something you imagined happening, yet, here you were.

María stood, her eyes darting between her son and the woman she’d grown to adore so dearly. She had to fight the smirk threatening her lips when she saw the tension in her son’s shoulders depleting.

“I’m going to the cafeteria to find your father.” She says, patting Pedri’s head, “it’s nice to see you again.” She offers you a kind smile before rushing out of the room.

“You too..” You begin, but she was already long gone. Left alone in the depressing hospital room, you find your gaze drifting to his leg. “Jesus..” You mumble.

Pedri doesn’t say anything, simply letting out a quiet hum of acknowledgment. He watches you carefully as you make your way to the side of his bed.

“I don’t.. I don’t really know what to, uhm—“ You were grasping at straws for something to say. Nothing came to mind, causing a flush to spread across your cheeks along with a nervous laugh.

The tan man couldn’t help the way his eyes softened and the small, barely noticeable smile of his lips. He’d missed you. Everything about you, he had missed. The breakup of course, was his fault. He been so stressed with football that he’d taken it out on you, saying things he didn’t mean but couldn’t take back.

“You don’t have to say anything.” He speaks, wearily. He wanted so badly for you to just look at him, he didn’t blame you for avoiding it, though.

“I feel like I probably should, I mean.. this is..” You were once again, at a loss for words. “I’m so sorry, this sucks.” Pathetic. That was pathetic.

Pedri was unfortunately, very injury prone. You’d been in this position many times, but this was different. You couldn’t rush to his side, you couldn’t shower him in apologetic kisses, you couldn’t do the things you used to. And those were the only ways you knew how to comfort him.

Your legs brushed against the hospital bedsheets, when you remember. “Oh! Shit, I almost forgot, I set them down outside the door because I wasn’t sure if they would be appropriate right now.. Wait, I’ll be right back.” And just like that, you were gone, leaving Pedri completely and utterly confused.

When you returned, you had a blanket and, what you’d called the ‘designated hospital hoodie’ in your hands. He recognized them instantly. Your favorite hoodie of his, and the blanket you’d used specifically on the nights he’d stay over and the two of you would fall asleep on the couch.

“I figured it would get cold in here, it always does.” You gingerly hand him the items, freezing when his fingers brushed against yours.

Pedri froze as well, his eyes snapping up to you. “Sorry, uhm, thank you. Seriously.”

“It’s no problem.” You cough, “so! How are you? How bad is it?”

Shaking his head with a tired sigh, Pedri winced as he scoots over on the bed, his jaw clenching as he does. “Joder. [fuck] ” He hisses in Spanish, taking a second to speak again, “you can.. sit down y’know?”

Hesitantly sitting onto the uncomfortable mattress, your eyebrows furrow, “you shouldn’t be moving so much.” You scold, easily slipping back into your old concerned girlfriend mode. “How many times do I have to remind you there are plenty of chairs I can sit on?”

“And how many times do I have to remind you, that I prefer you closer?” He rebutted, the both of you pausing when you realize you weren’t allowed to do this back and forth anything.

But, you shrug the feeling off. Despite how things had ended, you loved Pedri. You cared for him. He was hurting, and you were not about to make him hurt any more by opening up the wounds that were still fresh.

“Well, your comfort is a bit more important than your wants.” You crack a small grin, “how did surgery go?”

Pedri huffs through a painful exhale. “I don’t want to talk about medical shit anymore. I’ve had to deal with my families badgering all day…” He hesitates before continuing, “I know this is overstepping, but could you just.. lay down? You don’t have—“

“I’d lay down if you weren’t hogging all the pillows.” You tease, “move your big head.” Shifting around to a sitting position beside him, you wiggle around till the thin blankets were out from under you and on top of you.

He laughs, the sound sweet and welcoming to your ears. You turn your head to the side, meeting his eyes directly for the first time since you stepped into the room. “This is only mildly weird.”

“Yeah.” He agrees, taking the blanket you’d brought and spreading it out over the two of you. “Another boundary crossing question…?”

“I don’t see why not.” You swallow, not knowing what was about to come out of your ex’s mouth.

“Hold me?” He asks with the saddest eyes, “please?”

Listen, you were no fool. You knew your actions would have consequences. This simple act was going to either lead to your heart breaking even more, or potentially causing you to go against your morals and allow forgiveness.

You couldn’t get yourself to speak, instead, you lift your arm to wrap around the back of his neck and your hand came up to rest on his head. Pedri automatically relaxes against your shoulder, letting out a long breath of relief.

You stay like that for a while, your fingers threading through his soft hair while the other hand occupied on his cheek, it’s fingers rubbing smoothly back and forth along his cheekbone. It had always been the way you calmed him down when he was upset. The familiarity tugged at your heart strings and in that moment you didn’t care how badly this was going to hurt you, you only cared it would make him feel better.

Plus, he always told you how much peace he felt when he was in your arms, and thats all you wanted him to feel in the moment.

“Pedri?” You quietly beckon him to look at you, which he does. His eyes fluttered open and a small hum leaves his lips. “You know I can’t stay..”

He tries to hide his disappointment, but you knew him too well. “I understand. Sorry, I shouldn’t have even asked you to come, I know I hurt you.”

“Hurt is one way to put it.” You quirk an eyebrow, hiding the genuine words behind a teasing grin.

His eyes flicker around your face, noticing every crack in your expression. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean the things I said. I can do better, I will.”

“That’s not enough. The things you said.. Pedri, I can’t just forget them.” Exasperated and ready for the conversation to end, you tap his head. “Just lay back down.”

Pedri shakes his head, “no, we need to talk—I need to talk about this! I don’t want you to forget, just hold me accountable and give me another chance.” His tongue darts out, wetting his lips. “Please, cariño.”

That stupid, stupid, stupid pet name. The only one you ever really loved when it left his lips.

“Can we talk about this when you’re not suffering from an injury? Like, what, two months? When your head is clear, and i’ve had time to get over what you said.. you call me. Then, we can talk about it.” You push his head back onto your shoulder and rest yours against his hair.

“Okay. Two months?” Pedri’s hand that had wrapped around your waist, dips under your shirt, rubbing slow circles. “I can do that.”

Pressing a short kiss to his hair, you hum. “I’ll leave when your mom comes back. Don’t text me or contact me till those two months are up, got it?”

Pedri groaned, “nothing?”

“Nothing.”

“Fine.” He rolls his eyes.

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any pedri posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @sakashq @hrts4havertz @joaoflms @spidybaby @gadriezmannsgirl @unx100to !

[ruporas]

“It’s about time you gave me one hell of a show!”

[hythlodaes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love💗 (hi gigi MWAH!)

tysm azia <333 this got a lil long, but it was so fun and encouraging !!!

In Your Blood - Emile/Estinien

“Concern yourself naught, Warrior of Light, just up ahead here.” He gestures to one of the towers before them, its silhouette rising in the dark. They don’t speak as they ascend the steps that wind up the perimeter, but they make quick work of the climb with their long strides. At the top, the whole world opens to them, a sea of forgotten ruins under the moonless night, still shining, still alive. 

A feeling rises in Emile’s chest, something like awe that trembles through him with the cold. It loosens the weight in the back of his mind, and the two of them stand together, shoulder to shoulder, leaning over the stone parapet. He looks over at Estinien, ponytail swaying with the breeze, clear eyes lined in silver—he’s like a ghost, like something came back to life but only halfway, and it makes sense somehow, the whisper of him, starlight tracing the hard line of his lips. For a second, for just one fleeting moment, Emile wonders what it would be like to meet his mouth with his own. 

On Your Mind - Emile/Estinien

It’s like this:

There are kisses that burn, ones full of desire and need—all consuming and powerful. There are kisses meant to comfort, ones that feel safe, that say, I can’t fix this, but I’m here with you. And then there are kisses like this, that happen in simple moments, that come merely from sharing space together, with only one real meaning behind it. 

Emile parts his mouth against his, lingering in the fading but still warm sun, and this kiss feels like home. 

I love you, comes to mind so, so easily. 

Until We Get It Right - Emile/Estinien

He thinks Emile’s the only person that knows this side of him. He’s the only person he’d let see this side of him. They’re in this together, and sometimes that feels like a vow of its own. They’re married to their vengeance, and they will see it through or they will die—they would rather walk through hell than leave the crimes against them unanswered.  

It’s something only they can understand now, and as much as they rile against each other, it binds them together. 

This Fire is Bound to Burn - Emile/Estinien

“Emile,” he says, his voice like gravel, and it’s then that he tilts his head up to meet his gaze. He doesn’t say anything else, and all they can do is watch each other as the silence continues to fill the space between them and wear at Emile’s heart. I’m trying to understand, he wants to say, always this same feeling again and again, and tonight it sits heavily within him. He clings to it, searching Estinien’s gray eyes dulled by the night, but the answer is still just out of reach. 

Estinien’s shoulders deflate, and the moment passes. Still, a small smile pulls at the corners of his lips. “Goodnight.” 

Please. 

Emile nods. “Goodnight.” 

Ivy and Twine - Revan/Malak

She doesn't know what to say, but it doesn't matter. Malak reaches over, his hand finds hers in the dim light, and he threads their fingers together. Her heart continues to pound away, and this is it, isn't it? This is the now before the never.

Finally, Revan looks at him. His eyes are steady on her, but they narrow when she curls her legs up so she can kneel beside him on the couch. She brings her other hand up to meet their embrace, and the dark covers him as her fingertips ghost over his cool skin, stretching out his fingers so she can line hers up with his, palm to palm.

"Tell me" she says, and don't his eyes look so dark right now? The shadows pool in the hollow spaces of his skin but she can see the intensity in his stare. "Please...just tell me what I'm missing."

[secretmellowblog]

"The Arkenstone is the Heart of the Mountain; it is also the heart of Thorin..."

I was listening to this cello cover and started drawing the Hobbit Comic adaptation things again <3

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

library writing day today <333 jeremiahhhhh

[raksh-writes]

Somehow, after months of not moving a muscle, I managed to get off my ass and do some light stretching + a whole damn abs routine too, that I still have no idea how I got through it, I remember it being hard on Normal day, and now my whole body is feeling this little workout and I'm like?? WHo are you?

Now to keep it going, tho...

[cringefailfagcat]

the way one of my friends offered to get people drinks. one of the others asked for a rum and coke, so i asked for a vodka lemonade n then they stood right behind me and went 'is olive allowed to drink?' it killed something inside me a little bit. like i wasn't episoding i've been responsible about my drinking recently don't take away my autonomy when i'm capable of looking after myself please. i know i barely can but don't. don't make this one of the few things people will actually talk to me for

[no-shxme]

hi, my friend has just sent me and so they were alone and it has forever changed my brain chemistry. i am foaming at the mouth your writing is absolutely to die for and you have cursed me with inspiration. you are so talented and i would like to know how you do it, if that's alright. i really hope that you get the recognition you deserve because holy crap i dont think ive read a fic that does things to me like this in YEARS, you are a blessing to this world

omG thanks so much geeez this is so nice of you 😭 it makes my week whenever someone tells me they liked my stuff im so glad you liked it. i will admit that im not so proud of 'astaa' anymore, mainly because it's just one of my oldest posted fics and i think i've improved since then, and looking back there are things that i would do differently. that being said, i'm flattered you like it so much. i remember i wrote that fic just entering the league fandom and,, i dunno i just vomited all over my google doc. since you read astaa and liked it i'm gonna shyly recommend one of my other fics, 'everything that went wrong over the summer' its also rhaayn (and pretty old) but it's also one that i'm more confident in fdlskljdksfa (no pressure tho ofc like, read whatever you want yk)

also, i'm not sure if you're being serious about wanting to know 'how i do it.' (im bad at reading jokes sorry!!) but i do use a lot of tips and tricks and strategies for all my writing so if that's something that actually interests you i can get into the process a lil bit. i dont mind sharing i just type a lot so im always like: does anyone actually want this fsadkljladfs

thanks sm for such a sweet ask ;W; i saw it at work and i had to take a minute cause it was so nice

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I always tell my littlest cousins stories before bedtime (usually about gods and myths) but occasionally I tell them an original story, and I'm listening back to a recording I made the one time I thought to record myself telling one and I'm like "Wow, I’m actually a really good frickin storyteller."

(Yes, I’m a professional writer, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that I’m good at what I do.)

[aberooski]

Doing revisions to Sustained By Hate has been great because I get to add things like Chazz's mom talking about his brothers like they're good people in front of him when she arrives on the island because she legitimately doesn't know how awful they are.

Legit a line I added for her is "You and I both know your brothers have always been good, respectable people." Oh poor, horribly misguided Michelle 🥲

In my lore for her they gaslight her and lie to her face about anything bad they've done so she still thinks they're decent guys. And Chazz can't talk to her to tell her the truth because even though he's her favorite son, she'd either not believe him or if she confronted them about anything they would lie and gaslight her into believing them so he just doesn't talk to her about anything they do/have done. So she still thinks highly of them which Chazz doesn't like and she's unknowingly contributing to the problem with his familial situation because she doesn't know what the problem is and therefore can't really avoid it. Which only makes his relationship with his mom tense too which sucks for him because she's the one person in that house that gives a damn about him.

I also get to characterize her more properly to what I've developed her to be since I came up with her originally. And she can be, not exactly meaner, but exhibit her Princeton qualities more on the surface than in the original version. She's too nice in the og to be perfectly frank. Michelle needs to actually feel like she reminds Chazz of his brothers like "oh right, she's their mom too." And I don't feel like she does.

She and Chazz need to actually fight in chapter 4 too like I, as the writer, need to believe he's mad at her and that she feels bad that the last conversation they had before he loses his voice was a fight and that she was too hard on him. Like the og is so tame honestly aksksk.

I'm having too much fun with revising/quasi-rewriting this fic but also being so critical in a way I don't like help 😭

[vulpinesaint]

how are people finding my fic series from three full years ago. dkfjghs. who put me on a fic rec list be honest

[bloodbankzz]

books i want to read / try out this year:

1. im glad my mom died (currently listening to, want to finish)

2. howls moving castle (checked out, read soon)

3. dune

4. the little prince (keep promising to finish it, really need to just do it, stop promising to do things that make you feel uncomfortable)

5. gideon the ninth

6. why does he do that?

7. listen to another shakespeare performance for the dopamine chefs choice

8. the jungle

9. eve and adam

10. mexican gothic

11. under the whispering door

see from there ? order doesnt actually matter i just wanted to see how many my list was

[exopelagic]

outgrowing characters is the weirdest thing

[minyard--josten]

if theres one thing I can do it's critically analysis tv shows at least I've got that going for me

[elegyofthemoon]

o. i ran into all the nice anonymous asks the last time i did the "tell me your opinion of me and i cant respond" because that was also in my 'to tag later' and i 🥹you're all very lovely and ily

[niennanir]

Listen to your elders

So last week I posted abut the importance of downloading your fic. And then three days later AO3 went down for 24 hours. No one was more weirded out by this than I was. But while y’all were acting like the library at Alexandria was on fire I was reading my download fic and editing chapter eight of Buck, Rogers, and the 21st Century. And also thinking about what I could do to be helpful when the crisis was actually over.

So first off, I’m going to repeat that if you’re going to bookmark a fic, you really need to also download the fic and back it up in a safe place. I just do it automatically now and it’s a good habit to get into.

But let’s talk about some other scenarios. Last October I lost power for over a week after hurricane Ian. Apart from not having internet or A/C I did find plenty to do, I collect books so I had plenty to read, but maybe, unlike me, your favorite comfort reads aren’t sitting on a bookshelf. So let’s do something about that, shall we?

In olden times many long years ago around 1995 we printed off a lot of fic. It was mostly SOP to print a fic you planned to reread and stick it in a three ring binder. And that’s totally valid today too, but you can also make a very nice paperback with a minimum amount of skill and materials.

Let’s start with the download; Go to Ao3 and select your fic, we’ll be working with one of mine. This method works best with one shots, long fic tends to need a more complicated approach. Get yourself an HTML download

Open up the HTML download and select all then copy paste into any word processor. Set the page to landscape and two columns, then change the font to something you find easy to read, this is your book, no judgement. This is all you have to do for layout but I like to play a little bit. I move all the meta, summary, notes to the end and pick out a fun font for the title: 

No time like the present to do a quick proofread. Congratulations, you’ve just created your first typeset. On to the fun part.

Now you’re going to need some materials:  8.5x11in paper ruler one sheet of 12x12 medium card stock (60-80lb) scissors pencil pen or fine tip marker sheet of wax paper white glue two binder clips 2 heavy books or 1 brick butter knife

You’ll also need a printer, if you’re in the US there is almost a 100% chance your local library has a printer you can use if you don’t have your own. None of these materials are expensive and you can literally use cheap copy paper and Elmers glue.

Print your text block, one page per side. Fold the first page in half so that the blank side is inside and the printed side out:

use the butter knife to crease the edge. Repeat on all the sheets. When you’ve finished, stack them up with the raw edge on the left and the folded edge on the right. I used standard copy paper, because you’re only printing on one side there’s no bleed to worry about. Take the text block and line everything up. Use the binder clips to hold the raw edge in place.

Wrap the text block in the wax paper so that the raw edge and binder clips are facing out. I’m going to use my home built book press but you don’t need one, a brick or a couple of books or anything else heavy will work fine.

Once the text block is anchored down, take off he binder clips and get out the glue.

You can use a brush but you don’t need one, smear some glue on that raw edge.

Go make a margarita, watch The Mandalorian, call your mother. Don’t come back for at least an hour

In an hour smear some more glue on there and shift your brick forward so that the whole book is covered. This keeps the paper from warping. While glue part 2 is drying we’ll do the cover. Get out your 12x12 cardstock

Mark the cardstock off at 8.5 inches and cut it. Measure in 5.5 inches from the left and put in a score line with the butter knife (the back edge not the sharp edge)

Carefully fold the score line, this is your front cover. You have some options for the cover title, you can use a cutting machine like a cricut if you have one, you can print out a title on the computer and use carbon paper to transfer the text to the cardstock. I was in a mood so I just freehanded that beoch. Pencil first then in pen.

Take your text block out from under your brick. Line it up against the score mark and mark the second score on the other side of the spine

Fold the score and glue the textblock into the cover at the spine. Once the glue dries up mark the back cover with the pencil and then trim the back cover to fit with your scissors.

Voila:

I’m going to put this baby on the shelf next to the Silmarillion.

The whole process, not counting drying time, took less than an hour.

If you want to make a book of a longer fic, I recommend Renegade Publishing, they have a ton of resources for fan-binders.