#but it takes up way less space this way

[violetsareblue-selfships]

🗣️🥺🔥 ^^

y'know bc these images are so big I'm gonna answer w/ both rafayel & sylus

🗣 Post a screenshot of your f/o in profile/side view!

🥺 Post a screenshot of your f/o where they’re emotional.

🔥 Post a screenshot of your f/o looking tough.

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[cherubchoirs]

two unauthorized bugs in the lust layer!!!! get them now!!!!!!

[serpentface]

What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?

It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.

They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.

So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.

Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).

The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.

The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.

So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.

Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.

[transmechanicus]

That prev post reminded me how much it weirds me tf out when someone only interacts with specific subsets of a minority group and learns their associated niche behavior patterns, and then tries to apply those patterns to every member of that minority that they meet afterwards only to be shocked when it doesn’t work.

[sethdomain]

Dawg i hate mouthwashinhg fandom so much now, the analysis now is just so reductive ☹️☹️☹️☹️

[toytulini]

man the thing about beauty standards and being ugly and being pretty and being insecure is that ultimately you do just kinda have to Decide that youre pretty. like ultimately thats how you become pretty, or hot, or sexy. you have to just Decide that you Are. you have to recognize that its made up, its arbitrary, its subjective, and that people might disagree with you about it, and as much as you are able, you need to completely and utterly disregard their opinions on your appearance, and decide that youre pretty now. and THEN.

you need to find beauty in "ugly". you need to recognize that ugly is made up, that its arbitrary, that its subjective, and you need to be able to find the beauty in it all. and this means you cant bodyshame people. you cant body shame shitty celebs or politicians. you need to base your criticisms on the substance of their character and misdeeds and unhinged horrific opinions and not give a shit about what they look like. you cant go calling people ugly for being shitty. you cant go calling people ugly for looking A Way You Dont Like.

and then if you wanna really galaxy brain this shit you start using ugly as endearment. OBVIOUSLY do not fucking call other human beings ugly. that shit is far too loaded, its just Rude. Dont call specific features of people or even characters ugly cos thats also too loaded. as a term it has baggage. but you can see the ugly in tacky, loud, garish clothing, and it can be Good. you can see the ugly in a distinctive, horrible tiny car from the 90s, and it can be good. you can see the ugly in animals that have evolved to look the way they do, without a single thought of what humans find appealing. you can see the beauty and the freedom in "Ugliness". you can break out of this shit altogether and feel nothing but disdain for anyone who stoops to insulting your appearance if they disagree with you about shit. you can get completely out of the cave of these beauty standards. you can find it so freeing to revel.in letting yourself be ugly. in recognizing that the way you look and exist might be ugly to some people, and youre out of the cave enough to simply recognize. thats just your opinion and it doesnt matter. didnt ask.

you can look at ppl arguing about the correct amount of skincare products to use daily, the Correct Amount of makeup, and whether or not its radical to conform to beauty standards or defy them and argue about is it really conforming if visible makeup pisses men off, and you can say, well I dont care about any of that, I recognize the societal pressures of flawless skin and all that but you see,

I just want to look like a silly little clown :o3

[wild-wombytch]

I rudefemed at the gym today, I believe I personally offended the local Testerical Council 💅

The gym was full up the buttcrack on the strength training side, and this failed abortion was blocking five. FIVE. machines (in a very small gym. That's like. 40% of the whole space for one person), and that doesn't even count the bench and bodyweight training spots he was ALSO squatting. Like, at first he annoyed me because he was using the benching spot for his own training that had nothing to do with benching AND the squat rack AND a bodyweight spot and he was spending forever on his phone and in exercises away from these things he was blocking. Because like. That's already rude and entitled. But then I saw this asshole come like a fresh flower to block the lat pulldown machine AND start blocking the pull up spot (while still blocking the others lmaoo don't believe he was reasonable). Like, even a couple of teenagers had their "wtf man?" faces but said nothing.

So I didn't bother asking and just moved his shits out of the benching set, put the bar back on the place it belonged to like it was another Wednesday and started to bench. Then I got his shits out of the squat rack. That's when I realised he only had 20kg/40-ish lbs on the bar. Like, you kidding me?? That's the exact weight my weak ass is lifting and I'm coming back from like 5 months of sick break and I'm a woman. A disabled woman, with post-workout soreness and approaching premenstrual fatigue, with that. Like, he can't seriously block that many spots and have such a shitty weight and pretend he does some "super asshole set" that will somehow do anything for his sorry noodle muscles. At least pretend you're a professional powerlifter or bodybuilder and that you need all those spots for your life if you're going to inconvenience everyone without a second thought. That many machines at once is super dumb already, but doing that while people are almost biting eachother's throats for a bench is another level of selfish. That has to be some dumbass marking territory to prove you're some "Alpha Male™" move. If you need to use that many machines (he didn't, given the weights on his things), you do that when the gym is almost empty.

Anyway, babyboy didn't comment, but he clearly wasn't happy and he left the gym not long after, so I believe being forced to acknowledge everyone pay as much as he does to use this gym pissed him off it. Unless I overthink it, I believe some of his fellow moids gave me disapproving looks for infringing the Gym Bro Code. Idk, my myopia doesn't care.

But then magically some other guys used the bench and the racks as if they'd been waiting for it as well but didn't man up to actually confront the guy or just move his shits like I did. And they dare use "pussy" as an insult for weakness?

Anyway, misandry is the way. Fight for space, you're more worthy of it than pathetic males. They're so used to their entitlement never being challenged that there's a good 85% chances they won't say shit. And don't let them trick you saying it's chivalry. I'm a gnc woman, I'm getting punched by men, not coddled by them. That's just being confused and scared of confidence in women who don't bother negotiating their spaces with them and who don't fake pretend to be their bros like men do when they interact with each other. Also, you don't need to abide by male rules or tacit codes/privileges of courtesy that somehow put them above everyone else/the community/you. That's male entitlement, not actually something you owe to respect. In fact, you'd do a great service to women if you challenged it as much as possible if that's not already the case. Make moids seeth and quit more instead of erasing yourself and waiting for them to kindly retreat.

[introspectivememories]

shanks' need/desire to protect his friends and family from anything and everything vs buggy's gigantic inferiority complex that makes him take any act of protection/love as someone looking down on him, FIGHT

[indicolite-artist]

generally im really not one for swap aus, but i decided i had to throw my hat in the ring for this bastard. then i got Really carried away. if people enjoy my interpretation i might make a whole fic bc this was actually fun to write

[raspberryconverse]

You know you're an adult when you're like, "Check out my sexy new tissue box."

[clonehub]

"why does the fandom complain so much!!" do you see what we've been getting

[rain-on-wax-feathers]

louise's friends throughout the years

[white-cat-of-doom]

A pair of stage used and signed jazz shoes from Zachary Downer, who played Mistoffelees in the Broadway Revival from mid July 2017 until closing at the end of December 2017.

These shoes are definitely the most worn out of the ones currently in my collection, especially with one has two holes in it! I guess he was not much for one to change shoes until the absolute end. Maybe they got caught on something, who knows.

[bucephaly]

I keep seeing posts of people saying that a term transphobes stole and are using incorrectly to be transphobes is a Horrible Transphobic Term and Anyone who uses it is transphobic and it's Not Real and Entirely Not True when it's literally an actual anthropological term that has studies about it and is actually very useful for Everyone to think about, cis and trans, and be critical of. I hate seeing people respond to dumb hate by entirely writing off everything even remotely connected to the twisted shit bigots use when the shit the bigots are stealing and twisting is still like... a thing?

[isocrime]

Isozyme, your hrpf is so tight and snippy, you pace it all so well. Yoy have the plot so well tied to each scene. My question for you is, how do you do it,? Is it a matter of planning the end to end story before starting to writing? Thank you for your ficts!

Thank you!! This is a good question and very gratifying because one of the things I aim for with my fics is to always be compulsively readable no matter where in the story you’re at.

I don’t actually know the story from end-to-end at a high level of detail when I start out. Usually I know about how long the story will take to tell, the setup, and then the next couple things after that. As I write I sort of build the track ahead of me, so I’ll often have a detailed outline for the next scene, a couple bullet points for a handful of scenes after that, and then a sort of general vibe for anything farther away. (With a few exceptions, like I knew Matthew was going to get a supportive phone call from Sid in LMLAY for ages and ages before I finally got to write it.)

Basically my pacing philosophy is that every scene should have a job to do, and ideally also have some side hustles, and I sort of build it up layer by layer as I come up with each upcoming scene.

Let’s spitball a scene as an example. Hypothetically let’s give me a mcmattdrai wip where they’re all training with Scary Gary and in the scene in question Matthew is trying to figure out if Leon is sleeping with Connor. Maybe they’re waiting for the elevator together after a workout, that’s a good setting for two people who sort of know each other to have a stilted conversation. Matthew can joke that his legs are too tired to take the stairs and Leon can complain that he doesn’t know where the stairs are yet (this establishes their different levels of comfort in the setting in addition to giving some character notes). Leon probably also looks hot and sweaty, Matthew can notice that several times during the scene to amp up the sexual tension while he asks Leon awkward questions. A nice thing about elevators is that they have a timer, so I get to control when the elevator arrives and cuts off their conversation; probably right around when Leon reveals that he’s not sleeping with Connor (one mystery tied up, that’s the big job done by the scene) but now Matthew wants to know why Leon’s not sleeping with Connor (another mystery opened). They could keep talking about that inside the elevator but I don’t like that because I think that mystery should stretch out into the next couple of scenes, so to fix that (and add comedy) just as the elevator door is starting to close Connor can obliviously run up and join them. Now Matthew can’t ask Leon any more questions about Connor but he can observe the two of them together and start making some theories. However now that I have Connor in the scene, I should give him something to do from his plotline as well. Maybe I can make him talk about his struggles with a fundraiser for sick kids he’s trying to organize. Naturally Matthew volunteers Leon to help, which leads to Leon volunteering Matthew to also help as revenge, and that leads me neatly into the next scene (3 idiots struggling at event planning together in between their workouts).

I don’t know anything else about this fake story or where it’s going, but the scene is still dense and feels connected to a plot because all the elements are doing some kind of work on behalf of the story. And that’s pretty much how I do it when I’m actually writing something with a lot of plot — come up with what the main goal of a scene is, and then while achieving that goal try to have the stuff happening in the background work to move along side plots and set up the next thing.

Pacing is like a tricky little puzzle and it’s hard but I think it’s worth it when the work pays off; very glad you’re enjoying my hockey fics!