#but it only just clicked that that's what im feeling
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luvyeni · 2 days ago
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( drabble ) ̨ give me a chance ! ୨୧ 一 황현진 ՞
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⸃ ⸰ ⌁ hyunjin is tired of you not giving him a chance  ヾ
bestfriend!hyunjin・ reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ mean dom hyune, unprotected sex, degradation ‎ wc ・ ‎0.8k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library
request. can i rq mean dom hyune x his slutty best friend reader idk the plot but ... yeah smut 😃
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 i hope you like it <3 !!!
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hyunjin supported everything you did; of course, as his best friend of many years, he supported all your doings. even if that meant listening to you go on and on about your latest fuck with a random dude in a bar — or the random man from tinder that you invited back to your home to fuck , or any of the random men you fuck weekly … yeah he listened to all of it — even if he dreamed of being one of the guys you fucked, maybe being the only guy you fucked.
“when i tell you he was big, hyunjin he was huge.” he sat barely listening to you talk as you laid on his bed , legs swinging off the side of his bed. “i feel like there’s a but to this?” he heard you sigh. “he couldn’t for the life of me make me cum.” you had no problem getting the guy; you just had trouble finding the right guy, a guy who get you there. “it’s like if you’re gonna have a big dick at least use it right, i thought all guys with big dicks knew to use them.”
maybe it was the slight buzz he had from the soju that was sitting on the nightstand; or maybe it was because your boobs we’re about to slip from your tank top, but it was like his mouth moved before his brain could even register what to say. “just because a guy has a big dick doesn’t mean he knows how to use it.” he said. “you’ve fucked about 10 guys with quote big dicks and none of them made you cum, i thought you would’ve figured it out already.”
“you’re saying that like you know someone with a big dick and can use it.” your tank top strap falling down your shoulders, you smirked. “oh i do.” he said, hand coming up to your shoulder strap — the tension in the room suddenly changing and his eyes darkening as he grabbed the strap. “but you’re too busy slutting yourself out to random dudes to notice.” he yanked down the strap, your boobs finally free from the shirt. “hyune!”
you tried to cover your bust, but he was quick to slap your hands away. “finally get to see those tits you love showing other dudes.” you should've pushed him away, you were his best friend, it was highly inappropriate. but as he pushed you back , climbing on top of you and you actually got a feel of his hard cock — you quickly forgot about that and allowed him to pull all your clothes off.
“giving your body to just anyone who looks your way.” he slapped your bare cunt. “not even looking my way once.” he growled, grabbing the base of his cock, stroking himself. “messy fucking pussy, you just get wet for any guy don’t you?” you moaned as he used the pad of his thumb rubbing little circles on your bud. “ju-just you.”
“just me?” he smirked, rubbing his cock up and down your slit. “you mean you weren’t even wet when you were fucking them?” he teased you by pushing his tip into your hole. “just left them use you as a cum dump?” he pushed the rest of his cock inside you. “fuck!” both of you moaned out. “fuck you’re tight , clearly they weren’t that big , your little pussy is quivering right now, struggling to take my fat cock.” he groaned , slowly moving his hips. “this is what a real big cock is supposed to feel like.”
you weren’t gonna lie, he definitely was the biggest yet, his cock was stretching you out. “s-so big.” he chuckled condescendingly. “i know.” he cursed as he pulled out. “im about to ruin this pussy for anyone else.” he slammed back inside forcing his cock all the way in. “fucking slut.” he hissed , moving his hips , pulling your shirt down letting your boobs bounce freely. “tired of listening to how you slut yourself out.” he groaned. “you wanna be a slut , gonna fuck you like one.”
his hand coming up to your throat, squeezing as his cock bullied your sweet spot. “fuck fuck fuck!” you screamed. “to-too much hyune.” he didn’t slow down though, his thrust were relentless. “take it slut.” he cursed. “if you can take all those random dudes' cocks you can take mine.”
you were a mess; tears streaming down your face, the way his hips snapped against yours, his hands slapping your clit. “you’re crying? my dick is making you go dumb?” babbling nonsense as you felt your orgasm approaching. “fuck your pussy is squeezing me, you gonna cum slut?” you nodded. “cum. cum all over my cock.” your legs shook as you came, but he didn’t stop. “im not done.” he groaned. “you came but i didn't and don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.”
“gonna use this pussy as my own personal cumdump.”
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©️LUVYENI
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gloomwitchwrites · 2 days ago
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IM FEELING ANGSTY TODAY so what about 141 who is in love with reader but they are in love with someone else <3
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ANON! STRAIGHT TO JAIL!
But in all seriousness, I love some yummy angst. Make me suffer. Make the characters suffer. Let's all suffer a little bit. Hope you shed a tear or two (or don't).
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Presented in four double drabbles.
Task Force 141 x Female Reader
Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, alcohol, stalking, flirting, yearning, angst, suggestive themes, brief mention of intimate relations, divorce, co-parenting, nurse!reader
Word Count: 800
ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if series masterlist
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John Price
The door opens, and your smiling face greets him. You look a bit tired, but even so, you're beautiful. John wants to snapshot this moment. To savor it.
“You’re early,” you breathe.
John shrugs. “That all right?”
He did it on purpose. The new boyfriend shouldn’t be home yet, which means John can have some time with you.
“Is that Dad?”
The familiar voice of his daughter and small feet slapping against a wood floor reaches him. She appears, arms outstretched eagerly.
“Hey there, dove,” chuckles John, lifting his daughter into his arms. “Ready to spend the weekend with me?”
She squeals with delight, her small arms wrapping around his neck. John glances at you, urging memory to resurface and seize you both.
But it is not to be.
The boyfriend appears. The man that came after the divorce.
John doesn’t blame you for moving on. His job drained the marriage into nothing.
But he still wants you.
“John,” nods the man in greeting.
“Is her bag ready?” asks John, addressing you and not acknowledging the boyfriend.
“Yes,” you reply, handing it to him.
John wants to say, “I love you.”
But he doesn’t.
“I’ll bring her back Sunday evening.”
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Vape smoke lingers in the air.
Kyle reclines on the sofa, his head on a pillow, scrolling his socials in the dim dark. The television is on, the volume turned low to create background noise. On the table next to him is a bottle of tequila, half-empty and warm. He takes a swig, savoring the burn.
Kyle’s gaze is glued to the phone screen, fingers tapping until he finds your page.
He shouldn’t do this. It’ll only upset him—making him yearn for something he doesn’t have and might never know. It’s a foolish endeavor. Heartbreak just for fucking kicks.
He gazes at your smiling face, of how perfect you are to him. It’s not fucking fair—even if he respects your choice.
You should be his. The two of you should be together.
But there is someone else. A man that Kyle despises but only because you’re not his. The bloke is a good man. He’ll take care of you. Treat you right. Be there when you need him and not away on another mission without any idea of when or if he’s coming back.
Kyle’s chest aches.
"Fuck," he sighs, locking his phone.
He reaches for the tequila.
John "Soap" MacTavish
“How bad is it, doc? Think I’ll live?”
Soap puts every ounce of devious flirtation he can in his tone. He’s putting it on thick.
He gives you his best smile, and he gets the exact reaction he wants.
Your head bows in embarrassment, a soft smile spreading on your face. Your touch is gentle, taking great care to wrap the wound on his bicep.
You’re flustered. It’s bloody adorable.
“You’ll live, sergeant,” you reply, voice a little husky.
It’s such a small thing, but Soap clings to it. To him, this is a sliver of hope. A possibility even though reality says otherwise.
Soap leans in a bit, pushing into your space which almost seems to worsen your flustered demeanor. “I took a hard hit.”
“You did,” you agree. “It’s good they brought you in.”
You have no idea Soap asked Simon to hit him harder during training just so he’d end up here.
But it’s not to be.
The man that has your heart arrives, strolling into the communal exam room without even glancing at Soap.
“You’re ready to go, sergeant,” you reply brightly, demeanor changing now that your boyfriend is here.
Soap’s stomach twists into a knot.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Simon sits in the dark in his home office. A slight twinge of shame paints his mood, like it always does when he watches the monitors.
He tells himself he does this to protect you. That he’s looking after you even if you’re not aware of his actions. This is just a precaution until you finally realize that you should be his.
Simon removes a cigarette from his jacket pocket. When it ignites, and that luscious burn hits his lungs, a calmness settles over him.
His actions are valid. This behavior is fine.
Simon settles back in his chair, gaze roaming over the different camera views. There are fifteen of them in total. Each one is in your home in various rooms. Infiltration and surveillance are something he’s fucking good at. And he’s done it here with excellent precision.
It’s some of his best work.
In your bedroom, you’re currently on your back, and completely naked. The wanker you call a “boyfriend” is thrusting like a bloody fucking idiot. It’s clear to Simon that this man only cares about himself.
Simon could make you come. He’d give you plenty of orgasms.
But you’re not his.
You belong to someone else.
taglist:
@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath
@ferns-fics @tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus
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@saoirse06 @unhinged-reader-36 @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat
@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim
@voids-universe @iloveslasher @talooolaaloolla @sadlonelybagel @haven-1307
@itsberrydreemurstuff @cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @blackhawkfanatic
@sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld
@keiva1000 @jackrabbitem @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @waves-against-a-cliff
@ash-tarte @marispunk @gingergirl06 @certainlygay @greeniegreengreen
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rispwr · 2 days ago
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my sweet addiction - J.JK - OS (M) teaser
pairings : boss! jk x fem! reader (mentions of hoseok x oc)
sypnosis :Keeping everything professional, despite what happens between you two...in your mind...or so?
contents/warnings : explicit (ion wanna put the smut warnings rn), forbidden relationship, yeah i’ll put the real warnings in the actuall fic.
word count : 500+
genre :corporate au, fluff, smut, boss x employee au
Note : yeah I couldn’t do it. IM BACKKKKK
The boardroom was quiet, save for the occasional shuffling of papers and soft clicking of pens. My eyes were glued to the presentation on the screen in front of me, 
but my mind?
Completely elsewhere. Specifically, on Jungkook. my boss... who sat directly across the table. His dark suit hugged his frame perfectly, every inch of him radiating hotness and dominance. The way he fidgets on his lip piercing with his tounge always left me a little breathless.
 He leaned back slightly in his chair, his fingers brushing over his chin thoughtfully as he listened to the current speaker.
god i could watch him all day
I should've been paying attention to the presentation. 
I really should have....
But all I could focus on was him, the way his hair looked so perfectly styled, the subtle flex of his hand as he turned the pages of the report in front of him.
The more I watched him,
the harder it was to stop. My mind began to wander... far from this meeting, far from anything remotely professional.
I imagined us alone, after hours. 
"m-mr. jeon..." my mouth leaves his name as a whimper in between our kiss. "jungkook..." i recalled again hoping to get some kind of verbal response from him. 
"fuck" he hissed under his breath. i could feel he was getting more and more impatient by the way he unbuttons my blouse revealing my bra. 
No one else around.
"the cameras-" i quietly muffled along with a soft giggle "i'm the only one who has access to the cameras, don't worry" he cups my face reassuring me.
His office door locked. 
The weight of his gaze on me, intense and unyielding. My breathing quickened just at the thought of it, at the idea of him pulling me into his arms, his hands exploring every inch of me while he whispered my name in that deep voice of his. 
God, the way he would say my name...
"fuck- y/n!" he grunts as he slaps my ass making me release a whimper "a-ah- kook!-"
Unconsciously, I shifted in my seat, pressing my thighs together as my fantasy deepened (or got worse). His hand would graze my skin, slow and deliberate, his touch sending sparks through my entire body. My heartbeat quickened, warmth flooding through me as my imagination took over me.
And then, to my horror, I let out a small, soft noise.
fuck. what a great way to ruin a meeting y/n l/n. i thought to myself feeling the embarassment flood all over me.
It was quiet, barely audible. But in the dead silence of the boardroom, it might as well have been a shout.
Everyone turned. All eyes were on me, including his. Jungkook's gaze locked on mine, those dark eyes narrowed slightly in concern—or maybe curiosity? His brows furrowed, and before I could stop him, he spoke.
"Ms. L/N... are you alright?"
Panic rushed through me, my heart pounding in my chest. Oh God, oh God. How did I let that slip out? My cheeks burned, a fiery red spreading up my neck as I scrambled for an excuse.
"Oh—yeah," I stammered, trying to sound as casual as possible. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... uh, stubbed my toe." I forced out a laugh, awkward and shaky, praying no one would see through the lie. "It's fine, really."
There was a pause—one that felt like an eternity—but slowly, everyone turned back to the meeting, attention shifting away from me. Everyone, except Jungkook
Taglist : ??? Com to joinn
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eyelessfaces · 3 days ago
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im back...
nose boops...... hmu!poe.... pls... I beg...
(I am also in brainrot over hmu, send help 💔💔)
warnings for angst and injuries.
poe has a mild concussion, and you're called in.
heat me up masterlist
The door to Poe’s hospital room opens tentatively and carefully, but the moment you see him awake and sitting up in his bed offering you a half hearted smile, you hastily close it behind you and hurry to his bedside.
“I came here as fast as I could” you shake your head, the worry obvious over your face, a deep crease drawn between your eyebrows. You’re panicked and slightly trembling, and a plethora of questions is threatening to fall out from your mouth. “I was in a meeting, so I only got the vocal message later, I’m so sorry– hey Finn” you add in a quick breath when you see his coworker sitting in the armchair beside the bed before your attention fully darts back to Poe. “Are you okay?”
“Hey, slow down,” Poe reaches for your hand in a naive attempt to calm you. “I’m okay,” he affirms, managing a small smile. “Not my first concussion” 
“Is that supposed to reassure me?” you scoff, still out of breath from the light jog you took to come here.
Poe huffs out a small laugh that turns into a light wince before he presses his free hand to his temple.
“What happened?” you ask, turning to Finn.
“We were rescuing people in a crumbling building, and some debris came down, knocked him pretty hard”
“Holy–”
“It sounds worse than it is.” Poe insists, eyes half closed, as if the effort of keeping them open is wearing on him. Finn gives you a doubting look.
You sigh softly, trying to ease the lingering worry within you as you sit beside Poe on the edge of his bed. 
Finn rises from his seat with a light pat to his lap, walking around the bed. “Well, I’ll leave you two to it, gotta get back to work” he shifts towards the door before he grins at Poe. “See you next shift, maybe. Take it easy” 
“Sure” Poe grins, his hand tightening around yours as Finn disappears and the door clicks shut again. He blinks tiredly, like his eyelids are suddenly pounds heavier. “I’m okay, I promise” he mumbles, a weak, tired smile tugging at his lips. “Just a little knocked out and tired”
You nod, still not starting to feel the worry sip out of you, and your hand still instinctively remains firmly holding his. You let out a soft, shaky laugh as your thumb rubs circles over it. “So that's what it’s like, dating a firefighter?”
Poe buries the back of his head further into the pillow, closing his eyes, smiling. 
You can see the obvious sleepiness etched over his face even beyond his attempts to convince you he is doing fine. A few moments pass before he sighs, half opening his eyes with difficulty as if trying to stay alert. He tries to sit up but you’re quick to gently push a hand over his torso for him not to. “None of that.”
He huffs out a quiet laugh, admittedly relieved to lie back down after the sharp pain triggered at the front of his head just from that light movement. “Fine, get me water then”
You rise and fill a cup from the nearby sink, resting it at his bedside table once he’s done, Sitting back beside him at the edge of the bed. Your hand instinctively reaches to gently run through his curls. “How long are they keeping you?” you ask softly.
His head shakes softly, his eyes flickering with frustration and vulnerability. “Not sure… I don’t remember.”
“That’s okay.” you reassure him with a nod, caressing his lightly stubbled cheek with a brush of your thumb. “I’ll ask someone.” 
After a small pause, you add, “And I’ll take the rest of my day off to stay with you.”
A soft, weak smile grows over his face. “Okay,” he simply says, his voice low, not even arguing. You shift in closer, leaning to him, kissing his cheek before your forehead rests against his. His eyes close and he moves slightly, his nose bumping against yours in an affectionate nudge like a cat leaning into one’s touch. 
The weariness over his face is too obvious to ignore. “Don’t fight it” you whisper, nudging his nose with your own again before leaving a kiss over his forehead. “Rest if you need to. I’m staying with you” 
A small sigh escapes him, his hand drifting to lightly hold yours. “I think I will.”
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wishfuldeity · 5 months ago
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i think i just figured out what having a raised larynx feels like physically in my throat and i think i could kill god
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thefishdeath · 8 months ago
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Never feel more masc then the times I try to look fem
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titaniumions · 9 months ago
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(some) r1999 charas but i assign them entities from the magnus archives
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crewofthegoldrush · 1 year ago
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get early access or leave a tip!
its over for you bitches
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medichamcham · 9 months ago
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(wistful sigh) sometimes i do wish more ppl shipped orbitshipping... wah wah .
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donttouchtheneednoggle · 1 year ago
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realising you're trans is like realising you've been driving in a clown car all your life and infinite clowns of misery and uncomfortableness and dysphoria have been squished into what looks like a completely normal car and once they start coming out they don't stop
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mejomonster · 4 months ago
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I hate panic attacks
#rant#which is to say i hate the whirlwind of specifically bad times in my life that brought them on and kept them#i hate that they trigger when i feel strong Anything#ive been trying to Dissassociate less and feel more. because feeling stuff does HELP me notice whats helping or hurting me#but like. i WISH it was about feeling joy and pleasure and excitement. maybe ill feel those eventually#but right now Any strong emotion is still ridiculously close to triggering panic attacks#im still terrified to go watch a play. because i LOVE plays and the last times ive gone for the past decade#ive had awful panic attacks because my brain clicked Love them with Intense Feeling into Panic dont breathe chest hurts Hate Urself#turns out my brain didnt just attach the trigger to fear of loud noises or fear of asking for#trigger from self hating thiught loops#it alsp clicked the trigger into: particularly notiveable romantic feelings of any kind (lile someome? have a panic attack! thatll keep u#physically incapable of getting near them! like plays! lets have you unable to breathe sobbimg hysterical so ur terrified to be trapped in#the audiience for hours! fucking hate hate hate it)#neurofeedback and emdr certainly lowered the panic attack rate per day or week to a Lesser per month situation#but im still lucky if i get thru a pa without illogivally trying to Fix it the irrational way i did when young which is hit myself#in the illogical hope if im injured enough ill be able to think again (which doesnt work its dangerous and makes the panic attack last#longer a pa just does Not let u think rationally untol its over u CANNOT try and fix it while in it and dping that makes it much worse)#if i get thru a pa without a concussion ive done much better than usual :/ i dont want any more#im so tired man. i want to go see a play!#i dont want to Try and then end up hyperventilating and crying with my brain imsisting i Need To be Dead for 2 hours#im the parking lot because it triggers when i park. or worse it triggers when i drive and i have to pull over and im trapped x place for#hours. either way i miss the play i wanted to fucking see!#i hate how panic attacks feel like a trap. not even a trap i can fight. its my own limitation. goddamn ive been fatigued ive been dying#in a hospital a few times. panic attacks feel worse to me. at least dying i can do something (eventually) to stop#altho i guess dying for hours in hospital until i got helped was similar. but ill hopefully only go thru that 1-2 more times in life#and i had like 5 panic attacks during that hospital visit since a heart rate so high like 200 cant calm down anyway
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luvyeni · 3 days ago
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⠀ ( drabble ) mines, all mines ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 黄仁俊 ՞
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⸃ ⸰ ⌁ renjun is super affectionate with you , but he’s also jealous of haechan calling you pretty  ヾ
boyfriend!renjun・ reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ unprotected sex, jealous ‎ renjun, dirty talk wc ・ ‎0.5k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library
request. dream being confused when jealous!renjun is affectionate and teases him for touchin u up when he doesnt do it with them so he fucks u for letting his friends flirt with u and stuff 😩‼️
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 i hope you like it <3 !!!
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“baby.” renjun pulled you into his lap for like the fifth time that day. “baby i miss you.” you chuckled, running your fingers through his hair. “jun i’ve been here with you all day.” you smiled kissing the top of your man’s head.
“ew oh my god.” haechan said, fake gagging on your couch. “get a room, no one wants to see you two be all lovey dovey.” you rolled your eyes, renjun mumbled a bunch of insults under his breath. “you’re in my girlfriends apartment, i will touch her as much as i want, you get out.” he snapped, wrapping his arms around your waist. “jun stop.” you calmed him down.
“you know yn you have to be one of the luckiest girls in the world.” jaemin said. “really? why is that?” you questioned. “because you’re the only person in this room who’s ever had the joy of renjun affection.” you chuckled, your boyfriend on the other hand wasn’t amused. “shut up jaemin.”
“hey all im saying is you’ve never held us like that.” the boy held his hands up in defense. “because you aren’t fucking him thats why.” jeno said. “a pretty girl like yn, yeah i’d make sure to give her all my attention.” now you knew haechan didn’t mean any harm, but this seemed to piss renjun off. “hyuck, shut the fuck up.” you rubbed his shoulders to calm him down. “be calm im just saying you’re lucky to have a pretty girlfriend.” renjun knew you would never give him the time a day — but the way you smiled at the comment just made him mad.
“alright it’s time to go guys.” you could tell they were riling the boy up. “what? it’s still 15 minutes of the game left.” mark said, they all whined, complaining. “yeah, but if you guys keep going none of us will make it to the end.” they all groaned, getting up. “i know, i know.” you said guiding them to the door. “next week bring duct tape for hyucks mouth.” chenle spoke up. “next time we won’t fucking bring him.” you laughed. “is it a crime to call a pretty girl pretty?” you shook your head. “when her boyfriend is sitting right there?” jisung said. “yes.”
you closed the door on them; ready to turn to clean up their mess — instead you were met with your boyfriend. “jun?” he was standing there, and you could tell he wasn’t happy. “don’t be upset.” you tried to reason with him, but you could tell in his eyes he was already there, which made your stomach bubble with excitement. “bedroom. now.” you already knew what that meant.
“you think it’s funny?” he had your cheek pressed against your pillow. “wh-what junie?” he slapped your ass making you yelp. “don’t play fucking stupid.” he snapped. “smiling at haechan basically flirting with you, smiling like you’re so desperate to be fucked by him or something.”
“n-not true.” you stuttered out. “is it? cause you’re soaked, thinking about him fucking you?” the feeling of your boyfriend's cock teasing your hole. “no!” you said. “jun please fuck me.” you desperately pleaded with him to fill you with his cock. “please.”
you gasped feeling him enter you— making you take him fully. “shit.” he hissed, gripping your hips. “yeah , fuck he can’t fuck you like this.” he groaned , his cock dragging along your walls , bullying your gspot. “he can’t fuck you like the whore you are.” you moaned. “o-only for you.”
“fuck. that’s right, this pussy is only mine to fuck.” he groaned. “no one will ever be able to fuck you like i can.” you moaned out, his hand coming up to your hair, yanking it back. “understand me?” he gritted in your ear. “fuck jun yes!” you squealed , clenching around him. “fuck im not gonna last.”
his balls slapped against your clit , his head thrown back as he fucked into you. “fuck im gonna cum.” he moaned. “cum with me.” he demanded. “cum.” your head fell against the bed, body convulsing as you came. “shit.” he slammed into you, a song of curse words flowing from his mouth, his stomach tightening as he came. “oooh shit.” he dragged out as he painted your insides white, his body slumped over yours as you both searched for air , coming down from your blissful highs, kissing your neck down to your shoulders. “mines, mines, mines.” he repeated into your ear softly.
“you’re all mines.”
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©️LUVYENI
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youngestdaughtersyndrome · 10 months ago
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Really glad to see so many of my mutuals hating on the word girlhood. Welcome ..... ive been here the whole time
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transbee · 2 months ago
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Okay it's my first real go at kingdom hearts and I'm sure I'm looking at things too close but I'm still so caught off guard by how viscerally Cloud is still Vincent. Like??? I'm not sure at what point along the line they went with Cloud instead but sometimes he holds himself in such a vincent-y way. for lack of a better word n I just go yuuup this guy was originally supposed to be another guy.
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royalberryriku · 5 months ago
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It's so exhausting having things different about your body or brain that just makes this whole *gestures at literally everything in society* thing undoable. It's frustrating to just do anything and then realised there's mountains I need to cross before I can do things others do and expect me to do as well and so effortlessly. But it just takes so much effort to do that and when it's over, the mental exhaustion just makes it even harder the next time you need to do a thing.
#vent#personal but ok to rb#about disability in general#physical and mental#I'm just laying here with such intense brain fog with executive dysfunction and anxiety freezes on top.#I feel so stuck in onr spot despite physically being able to move but im trapped in my own brain because it won't in the way I need it to.#Its like having tar in your mind and every time you tell yourself to “get up” the tar weighs you down and thought gets lost in it.#You can't think straight and everything feels like floating but you can't get your body to react properly and do what you want it to do.#Frustratingly it can do other things and is set to those little tiny things only.#You can't do other things like getting up and going where you need to go or focusing on what you need to focus on#You're stuck in this loop of yelling inside your head to just MOVE but your brain's ability to focus on the command “move” is lost somehow.#I can feel my body there but it doesn't respond to all the things I need it to.#It just only does some of the things; the simplest things it can categorise as Can Do Without Steps.#For me this means things like getting up (shifting body and leaning down and moving and then walking to a focus point and remembering why-#-I need to be there and go there at all and then do that) somehow becomes too many steps than just “use muscle memory to click”.#I'm stuck feeling like I can do something and being able to do something physically similar then realising I can't do it at all.#It sucks
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sadpeopledancing · 4 months ago
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