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pudding-parade · 2 years

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tl;dr: I have a strong urge to completely overhaul my entire Sims 3 set-up, and it's going to take forever and be a gigantic pain in the ass.

The non-tl;dr version is behind the cut. Because I just feel like whining at the void.

I want to get rid of Origin because...Well, Origin. The last time it did a "critical update" it fucked up my game install and I had to tinker to fix it to get it to, you know, load. And then not crash after running for five minutes. (My game very rarely crashes, normally.) It was a pain in the ass that I do not wish to repeat. And I certainly don't want this EA App bullshit, either, especially because TS3 is the only EA game I play or want to play. I'm certainly not going to give EA more money and buy the game again on Steam, so a bit ago I arrr'ed the Games4theWorld complete Sims 3 file. But, I've been procrastinating like mad on switching over to it because I'm sure there'll be headaches involved in doing so -- I remember having to go into the registry when I reinstalled everything on my old computer after de-sims3pack'ing my game -- and...and...I just want to plaaaaaaay the gaaaaaame. But I think I'm almost ready to take the plunge. Almost.

When I do, I'll have all the SPs, which I haven't had before. I only have the High End Loft pack and that only because it came as part of the combo pack that I got my base game in. And I'm thinking I'll also download all of the non-hair (because I hate EA hair) Store content in .package files, too, and just reinstall everything that way. Because the way that I DIY'ed what I have when I de-sims3pack'ed my game, none of the Store worlds are actually playable. They'll load, but you can't move any sims into them. I have all the objects from the worlds, and they work fine, which is what I care about most, but I would like to use the Store worlds to travel to for vacations, and I can't do that with my setup right now.

So if I do all that, then I'd have all EPs, all SPs, and all the Store content that I'd want. And you know what, I think that might be just about enough for me for a save that doesn't have a special scenario (like the "tribal" thing) or aesthetic, like the whole rustic thing. If I'm just playing a modern, normal game, I think EA-only might be enough...except for a few things.

Like, I just can't with EA hairs and eyes and skins and makeup. But I'm good there. I have stuff I like and don't feel a need for different/more. (Except for hairs, of course, but that's a whole other project that I'm almost done with.)

And then there are patterns. I neeeeeeed patterns because the EA ones mostly suck and I use patterns a lot. So I have ton of them, but a lot of them that I have I just don't like in-game and have never used. Some don't tile properly. Some are a pain in the ass and/or impossible to recolor when such a thing is important (like on woods). Or the scale is wrong for things that I'd want to use them on. But also, of course, some of them I really like and definitely want to keep. They're all in merged files, though, which means I need to look at the individual files. Which I do have, thankfully. I wasn't stupid enough to delete them after I knew the merged files worked. It's just...there's a lot of them. Like, a lot a lot. I'm a pattern hoarder along with being a world hoarder. Culling will take time.

And then I need to install the bazillion patterns that I've downloaded recently from Certain People who upload multiple sets every day. You know who you are, if you're reading this, and I'm not complaining. I am, however, work avoidant. LOL

And then there's the clothing, shoes, and accessories. I have a lot of clothing that just looks like crap in-game for various reasons. Also, a lot of high-poly, high-res stuff that's meant more for photoshoots and that just looks out-of-place in normal gameplay. I don't know why I'm holding on to it. It just all needs to go. I also have a lot of shoes and accessories that I never use. Lots of jewelry that clips a lot or is just too large, lots of shoes that do weird, painful-looking things to a sim's feet. Or that make them taller, which just messes up animations, making them no good for gameplay. That all needs to go, too. Which, again, means combing though the individual files, and there are a lot of them. I'm tempted to completely start over from scratch with clothing/shoes/accessories, re-downloading stuff I know I like and re-preg-morphing the clothing, etc.. It might just be easier that way, in the end. Then I can separate things into stuff I use for rustic/primitive saves and stuff I use for modern saves because right now everything's mashed together (because I am the dumb), and it takes a long time for CAS to load, even with the smooth patch.

I'm also tempted to go minimalist with objects, at least for most saves, just sticking with EA stuff and very select custom stuff. Of course, this wouldn't apply to more rustic saves, where I need a lot more custom stuff to suit the aesthetic. So, I need to go through all my files and separate out the rustic/primitive stuff from the other, more generic, stuff. Because right now, as with the clothing, everything's just mashed together in merged files, and it's a complete mess.

So...*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* I guess the best course of action would be to cull/organize/redownload/remerge the CC and then do the switch-over to the arrr'ed install. It'll only take, what? Five years? Yeah, that oughta do it. Maybe by then I'll really be ready to do the install switch-over. LOL

#game maintenance #and me whining about stuff i did to myself

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romanoffsbish · 2 years

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lantern, maple, bonfire 😝

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

Please… Not this 🙈

So… My bestfriend of 18 years—Alex, we met when I was nearly 8, and tragically cursed with a total blanket of naivety. I’d just been thrown in with my dad who I’d sparingly seen throughout the years, and I knew absolutely nobody in this new area.

So, I’d sit at my window, watching cars drive by, and one day I saw a little girl pushing this little boy on his skateboard. I gasped, then ran outside to inform them I also had a skateboard and to wait for me. They shockingly did, but for like the first year she apparently hated me, and I’d been innocently none the wiser. She even nicknamed me “Creek girl,” because on school days when she was running late her dad’s truck would whiz by the creek where I (who was also late) would just be stood there staring at the stream lol.

Now though, we’re ride or dies, and our families are permanently combined ❤️

Now, Anastassia it was the total opposite. She absolutely was on my shit list by sheer association with her brother lolol. I’d just moved to a new city, moving into my aunts from my dads, and I thought I was off to a fresh start. Then a month in she waltzed into my math class and I was like “🙄.” Nelson, her brother, was purely annoying (normal preteen boy shit; I’d actually been able to convince him I was a Russian spy at one point, and years later he was like “No way… It wasn’t true?” ahahaha)

Anywho, we clicked, but then life happened and we fell off because middle/high school drama happened to her. I was a quiet kid so I was like ‘Hey…’ and that was it. Post high school we had ended up at the same job, we’d started having closing McDonald’s dates, and next thing I know we’re 8 years strong, and her kids/his son are basically mine (as they say) bahahaha. Her youngest literally calls me mom(and means it with her whole chest), and they all call me ‘Kwee-Kween’ or ‘Kleeks’

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

Honestly… Writing was the only one, and I’ve been doing my best at it since October of last year. I’d always been a maladaptive daydreamer, so it was about time I put it down for others to possibly enjoy. Nothing else has ever appealed to me and been shrugged off. I’m pretty adventurous, so as long as I physically can do it, I do lol. Like kayaking, that shit is fun.

bonfire - describe your dream house.

Four bedrooms… One built for a plethora of cats, jungle gym status and with an under the stairs space for my one weenie dog… A room for me, a room for my future partner, and the other room will be for guests. I’m a firm believer in separate spaces, but a shared bed 🥺

Downstairs will be like a loft area with ALL of my collections, because believe me I’ve got a lot of pointless Marvel stuff that makes my heart beam.

A pool would be nice, but not necessary, and the aesthetic for me would be dark, because that’s my vibe… I’m a city girl, but I love the woods so I’d be fine settling for somewhere in between. 🤪

Like look… This is beautiful 😍

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meruz · 4 years

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Hey I can't find this in your FAQ so sorry if it's been asked before! Your traditional art is so stunning and vibrant, would you happen to have any brand recommendations for people trying to get into painting? Maybe specific gouche paint, brushes, papers etc. Thank you so much and have a nice day!

no one has ever asked me this before because this is like the first time ive started putting traditional art on my blog! LOL umm to be honest I’m very far from pro on this front, most of my knowledge comes from a handful of classes I didn’t pay a lot of attention to and lots of youtube videos but here’s my recommendations:

Paint

A lot of my paints are winsor newton designer’s gouache because this is what my teachers made me buy when I was a freshman at art school LOL. it’s definitely kind of pricey, I think it’s like $10.99 for a tube which I was NOT a fan of as a college student and is still not my favorite thing now. But they’re overall worth the price if you really want solid, high quality opaque paints. Though I’ve heard their student grade winton paints are decent as well?

I’ve heard less good things about brands like reeves and artist loft... but I think turner is alright? m.graham is supposedly great.

I also bought a set of holbein acryla gouache when it was discounted on amazon a while ago and have found it very solid. One thing you have to know about acryla gouache is that it uses a binder more like acrylic paint (hence the name acryla). Paints are made out of pigment + binder and most gouache is essentially watercolor but with extra pigment/chalk to make it opaque - the binder is water soluble so these paints can be reactivated with water. Acryla gouache is NOT water soluble when dry and it dries pretty fast so it’s overall less flexible. But other than that you can pretty much treat it like any other gouache and I find they keep a little better too, less likely to get gunky or stiff.

All paint brands have a handful of starter packs which are slightly discounted but if you want to build your own starting palette I’d say get a warm and cool tint of all the primaries, get a lot of white (working with gouache somehow involves a lot of mixing with white lol), and get a brown, maybe like burnt sienna or raw umber for underpaintings. No need to get a black, mixing darks builds character, looks better, and having one out of the tube can become a crutch. If you find a white watercolor paint tube that’s cheaper you can buy that instead of a gouache white. Again, they have pretty much the same make-up. And white paints are generally opaque enough that the composition between gouache/watercolor shouldn’t matter too much.

I’ve never used a block tray of gouache. Like those paints that come in little blocks in a tray? I know there's a bunch out there but I’ve never used them and I don’t know anyone else who does so I have no opinion on them.

Brushes

I’ve been kind of exploring this myself. I recently bought a cheap set of flat brushes off amazon LOL and I like them a lot?

Theyre probably not The Best or anything but I found flat brushes suit gouache plein air painting really well because its suits the kind of color blocking shapes I want to make. Also these had the right handle length to fit in my painting bag. That’s like the main reason I chose them tbh.

Honestly a lot of my art supplies philosophy is “give it a whirl with whatever you have lying around and when it feels like you're missing something specific keep an eye out for when that stuff goes on sale”

Paper

GOTTA BE HONEST I’m using cheapo paper. Because I’m making these paintings half for study and half to give my parents something to hang in the living room.

You can actually see some of them curling in on themselves here lol. If you’ve seen the sketchbook I’m holding in any of my pics of paintings it’s one of the canson mixed media books.

and its FINE... I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it lol.. I like that the texture is very fine but it doesn’t hold a lot of water and definitely distorts. Also I keep ripping off the surface with painters tape but that might just be on me. Oh buy artist tape. Just because its so satisfying to have clean edges.

I’m using painters tape instead of artist tape because I found it in the basement but if youre buying supplies buy artist tape because it’ll be kinder to your paper.

SPEAKING OF PAPER.

I guess anything heavyweight for watercolor/mixed media will be fine? some people like a lot of texture but if you’re painting small you might want to avoid it and pick hot press over cold press. Honestly I feel like a lot of this is going to depend on what your specific needs are.. how big do you want the paper to be.. do you want a sketchbook or would you rather carry around loose paper... etc. Maybe go to an art store and touch all their paper. I feel like its easier to understand sizes and texture when you’re seeing it physically.

When I go on a trip, I normally bring a softcover heavyweight stillman & birn sketchbook because I tend to obliterate metal spiral books in my bag LOL. Also I don’t rip any pages out of my travel sketchbooks so I don’t need perforation or anything. Also they go on sale a lot in the art store I go to haha. I havent used gouache extensively in it but it takes inkwash/maker pretty well.

On the higher end, I personally haven’t used it that much but my friends who do traditional illustration professionally swear by arches watercolor paper. It comes in lots of different sizes.

Whatever you use, if you really want it to lie flat you’re gonna want to soak and stretch it on a board but I don’t bother with that because I am lazy.

Palette

You didn’t ask about palette but I’m taking the opportunity to be a shill because I personally use a sta-wet palette and I LOVE it.

One of the biggest frustrations about gouache for me was how quickly it dries after it leaves the tube. And even if you can reawaken it with water its not quite the same? and consistency is SO important when it comes to applying gouache so I don’t want to be over-watering my paint.. ugh. Anyways, I don’t have to worry about that with the sta-wet palette and really its been a game changer for me. sta-wet is a brand name but there are a bunch of other wet palettes not by masterson that I’m sure are just as good. I mean, it’s just a box with a sponge basically, that can’t be hard to replicate.

The only thing - and I personally have not had this issue but I have friends who have - is that if you leave it wet for too long it could grow mold? or a mouldy smell? Just wash your palette with soap and don’t leave it for weeks on end and it should be fine.

If you’re not feeling a palette that’s always moist, the best palette I used in school was a simple glass palette. you can buy one I guess but it’s so easy to DIY, I think the way we did it in school is getting a piece of glass and mdf from the hardware store cut the same size and then duct taped them together on the sides so it wouldn’t be sharp.

costs like nothing.

what else...get a palette knife if you like to mix paints? and like to save paints... mixing with the brush means you lose paint in your brush in the mixing process so a knife is a good way to maximize that process. I don’t use it much but sometime if I have to mix a lot of one color I’ll pull it out of my bag.

I don’t know anything about easels, I sit on the dirty ground like a gremlin when I paint.

Ok yeah that’s all the supplies tips I have. hope some of it was helpful! always try to save money with art supplies, I think. Especially if you’re just starting out - it’s less stressful to use cheap supplies too lol. Good luck! Happy painting!

#Anonymous #traditional art #gouache #one day ill work out a proper way to tag this

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intombedarc · 3 years

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@crasvespertilio asked: 💘 + rae and terry

where they first met and how

they met in high school with bruce doing a favor for a friend in watching over rae before they died. terry was tasked into helping her get adjusted to living in gotham and the two were hardly separated ever since. granted, they weren’t too crazy about each other’s company but as they got older, they softened up around each other.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

their flirting phase never ended, especially for terry. their feelings for each other ended up being very mutual anyway but as for the flirting stage? never got over it. they’re still flirting with each other.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

uhhhhh this is hard to say. i want to say raven, maybe like... a day before anything was said. despite her being able to feel his emotions whether he wants her to feel them or not.

where their first date was and what it was like

terry and rae didn’t have much of a first date until they were older. they went to the movies, a simple first date just to feel a little more normal than the rest. she opted to see a horror film. it was really casual and sweet, terry nearly punched somebody’s lights out for looking at rae the wrong way but he got to walk her home. she kissed his cheek before the night was over.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

terry’s the one that always asks her out, it’s a little rare for rae to ask him (mostly because she likes to drag him to places they’re both going to enjoy) but it could be for the simplest things like to a store, to a carnival, a party, whatever the case is. terry is just kindly vocal about asking her and he gives her puppy eyes so she would say yes.

who proposes first

terry is the one that proposes first.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

they weren’t trying to keep their relationship under wraps on purpose. they did it for the sake of keeping their personal lives and their heroic lives from crossing with each other so it seemed like they were keeping it a secret.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

it was very traditional, he took her to one of her favorite parks after a quiet evening of having thanksgiving dinner with bruce and popped the question. he got down on one knee and she made a slick comment about him being cheesy. she said yes anyway.

if they adopt any pets together

terry and rae share the great dane, ace and her bengal cat, dexter.

who’s more dominant

he’s more dominant during the day. occasionally, rae will be the dominant one but she likes to give him control.

where their first kiss was and what it was like

rae was very concerned over terry trying to protect her over a deadly incident with blight. she tended to his wounds but she was pissed off about terry being hardheaded. he kissed her mid sentence to calm her down and it was just a passionate moment that melted them both.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

they’re not that couple to have matching items but they do match in outfits sometimes. only sometimes because terry likes to sport his hawaiian shirts and she’d rather be six feet under than wear that.

how into pda they are

rae isn’t too heavy on pda and terry goes with the flow. she does get comfortable with it after some time, holding his hand, sneaking in a peck here and there but nothing further than that unless they’re alone in a public place.

who holds the umbrella when it rains

rachel because of her powers and because the umbrella terry has isn’t enough for her.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

terry drags her to this club slash diner where they can just hang out on the rooftop to unwind and not have any responsibilities.

who’s more protective

terry is very, very, very protective of rachel despite her being the stronger one of the two.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

it took them quite a few years for them to get use to each other’s company. any time he’s too tired or too injured to leave her sights, she’d insist on letting him stay until he was okay enough to go back home. eventually it conspired to them having sex and really letting their emotions flourish.

if they argue about anything

the big one is terry nearly getting himself killed whenever it happens. she does not like the fact that he can get reckless when there’s no static strategy to meet their goal. in return, rae’s overprotectiveness tends to sound like terry is incapable which he is the complete opposite.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

rachel is subject to this because she likes to tease him relentlessly.

who steals whose clothes and how often

sometimes, rae will take his hoodie to sleep in when he’s out on patrol. it keeps her company and makes her feel safe.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

sometimes they spoon, sometimes they face each other. terry will put his head on her stomach watching trashy tv while she reads one of her books to tune out the noise.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

cooking, watching horror movies and making fun of them, going to festivals, intimate hugs that last forever because terry is part bear and loves to squeeze her.

how long they stay mad at each other

not very long at all. rae hardly gets angry and fed up with terry but she does get frustrated enough to want a little space. maybe two to three days of barely speaking.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

rae leans more towards tea than coffee. depending on the kind, she likes sweet and savory, plenty of honey or lemon to bring out the flavor. terry likes his coffee light and sweet enough.

if they ever have any children together

that’s later down the line but they do have one together.

if they have any special pet names for each other

nothing special but they do call each other by their last names when they’re being shitheads together.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

they never ‘split up’ per say. they just take a tiny break before they end up missing each other.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

the loft that they share is pretty neatly done, rae doesn’t like having too much clutter so she’s constantly rearranging her books / crafts to make it all cohesive when she’s ready to whip out a spell. terry on the other hand can be a little messy but she’s forced him to pick up after himself.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

halloween is their favorite but also their least because of the constant patrolling they have to do but christmas and thanksgiving are the two big favorites because they get to spoil each other and spoil matt. rachel doesn’t lighten up too much around the holidays but she does get into the spirit in her own way and terry doesn’t stray too far from the same feelings.

what their names are in each other’s phones

for rae, it’s ‘terry’ and for terry, it’s probably ‘beautiful’

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

uhhhh there’s no tradition as a couple but they do go above earth to attend league-related meetings.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

rachel is likely to wake up first and terry falls asleep first, he’s very tired and requires lots of warm cuddles tbh.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

terry is the big spoon to her little spoon. it’s rare that it’s the other way around.

who hogs the bathroom

probably terry, he needs to look good for his girl at all times LOL

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

terry attempts to kill the spiders but rae stops him from doing it so she can release it outside. it’s a witch thing.

#crasvespertilio #i love them eternally ur honorr

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summerspn · 4 years

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Felicity

Tv series (1998-2002)

Spoilers...

I’ve gradually been watching Felicity for the past few months & have completed watching the series. I gotta say it’s charming & oddly addictive.

At the beginning of the series Felicity (Keri Russell) is an extremely shy & introverted character. She’s adorable. We see her proudly graduating high school but also feeling some trepidation about it. Naturally.

She sees her high school crush, Ben Covington, (Scott Speedman) at their high school graduation & decides to just go & talk to him. She regretted not getting to know him before. So she fixes that. Her yearbook had some sort of printing issue so they gave it to her on graduation day. So she asks Ben to sign her yearbook.

Surprisingly he sits down & writes a very thoughtful message to her. It’s sweet & inspiring. She decides to follow him to New York & she gets into NYU.

In tv land one can get into school in just a couple months - ya know completely ignoring the hundreds of people waitlisted lol That made me chuckle when watching. No big deal though.

Felicity gets to school & realizes Ben was just a nice guy & wasn’t in love with her of course. So she gets a bit of a reality check.

She makes a few friends & lives in the biggest dorm room on the history of planet Earth!

My room in my old dorm was ‘big’ and it had 3 feet of space between the beds...much bigger than my sister’s dorm lol

Felicity is likeable because she’s sweet, smart, shy & confused & just trying to figure her life out. All she knew is she didn’t want med school as her parents kept trying to shove it down her throat.

Ben is a nice guy who struggles with feeling stupid sometimes (though is actually really smart). He struggled with some of his classes & lacks a clear path for his major.

Occasionally Ben has these lines & that message in the yearbook which made me stop & go ‘you’re a writer’. I kept thinking he was going to become a writer...then in season four he decides to be a doctor. Okay...it was an alright decision & I like his academic plot lines in season 4 so no real complaints there.

We meet Noel Crane (Scott Foley)who is super dreamy. He’s smart, nice, outspoken but sensitive. A straight laced student & Resident Advisor (RA) who becomes Felicity’s friend & has a crush on her.

Throughout the series that’s the love triangle. It was interesting but there was far too much emphasis on it. Often it overshadowed the more interesting storylines on the show, IMO.

Noel pines for Felicity & loses sight of his life then soon graduates without a plan then later develops depression. I thought that was a great storyline. Noel’s family history of depression was compelling & how the character described it was very well done.

Back then tv shows didn’t talk about mental illness but this was handled delicately.

Noel gets help & gets better. He gets his life back on track, pursuing his dream of graphic design. There’s a line where he gets teased for liking computers...ya know as only ‘nerds’ like that stuff 😂

Felicity’s roommate Meghan Rotundi (Amanda Foreman) is a bit of a goth/Wicca practitioner. Every other character wear clothes I assume that are from The Gap so Meghan looks very different in her black mesh clothes & dark makeup. Nice contrast but I feel like Meghan’s development was overlooked for the most part of the series. She’s very blunt, unapologetic, sometimes mean...but she also cares for others even though she’ll deny it.

In her romantic life there’s growth but not academically. It’s only in the end of the last season does she realize she wants to pursue psychiatry. I think there were some missed opportunities there.

Though I will say I like that her uptight parents accept her for her quirks & clothing choices.

Sean Blumberg (Greg Grunberg) ...I have mixed feelings about his character. He’s an ambitious inventor & sort-of businessman. He owns a loft where Ben sublets /shares with him. Sean’s nice, caring & excitable. He’s also several years older. Around 5 or 6yrs difference I think.

His age difference was brought up several times, as if it were supposed to be important. In my last year of school I lived with a woman who was 15 years older than me. So what? Not a big deal. I’m not sure why the show kept pointing it out.

The only issue with his age is that at one point he’s 27 and STILL has no steady job. None! He’s all-in with his inventions that make no money & his family isn’t rich so how does that work now? He has a loft in New York with zero income? One episode talked of him owing money but come on, get rid of the loft, downsize then get a job, even if part time. *sigh*.

At the start of the series I liked Sean but then they turned him into a pathetic leech who gets mad & throws tantrums easily. He became incredibly annoying.

When I was near the end of the series I started to think that Sean would actually make a good salesman. Imagine him trying to sell cars, just the right amount of pushy. Though they put an episode in that made him look like a buffoon when making a sales pitch. So I feel like the writers were confused or trying to sabotage his character because he still ends up leeching off his buddy Noel & they end up business partners. 🤷‍♀️

Sean & Meghan date & eventually marry. I thought they were cute together at first but not as long term. I feel like Meghan would murder him due to being sick of his shit.

Elena Tyler (Tangi Miller) becomes a good friend to Felicity. All the ladies care for each other a great deal. Elena is very intelligent & a hard worker. She had a few romances & nearly got married. But I’ll be honest I found her boring. Not sure why. I think the most interesting part of her character was that she chose not to marry her fiancé Tracy. I thought it was a very smart move. And I found her background with her mom interesting but they didn’t do much with that.

Richard Coad starts out as an annoying member of the dorm. He & Noel become friends then later gets befriended by the group. Richard is a neurotic, blunt talking mess. He’s somehow still kinda adorable though does have some rough spots. I really liked him up through season 3. Season 4 he was in much less and then the writers turned him into a racist moron. Even if he had those thoughts I feel like his character would be more subtle & not as rude due to his overly developed sense of self preservation. Plus he’s not stupid, just blunt & a bit disconnected.

He did apologize but still it felt just so...wrong. Out of character even.

In any case I think the writers should have made him a little more like Rob Benedict, the actor who played him. Rob’s loveable.

Javier Quintata (Ian Gomez) is the owner at the coffee shop Dean & Deluca. He’s the boss but becomes very close with everyone, especially Felicity. I really liked him at first. Eventually his personal favours become outlandish & his stories started to make my eyes roll.

He & his devoted husband break up over non-issues. Why? It added nothing to the plot. Javier also wants to pursue acting at NYU. He’s really not good so it came off as a dumb idea & all scenes in acting class become annoying. I feel like the writers didn’t know what to do with him. I’d have preferred if he pursued a different dream- one that made sense. Like maybe all the years working with coffee & pastries inspires him to want to be a chef? 🤷‍♀️

Felicity. Throughout the series she’s shy, gradually getting more of a backbone. She admits to loving art & wants to pursue it. Her parents constantly pull her down , try to talk her out if it, even bully & manipulate her. She is for the most part uncompromising. I loved that! She held her ground & from a person like her, who always kept the peace at the expense of her own happiness, that’s amazing.

We see her grow though she spends far too much time angst-ing over Ben & Noel. Often she seems tortured with very few moments of being free & having fun.

I loved how in season 4 she befriends fellow artist Owen. I feel like that was huge. I loved how they went to galleries together & talked about their art & life. It was refreshing. I love that Felicity’s honours art class was so important to her & everything around that plot.

I hated however, how she always put others first.

So...I have to mention Felicity’s haircut from Season 2. I didn’t find it that bad...but apparently Keri Russell got death threats from it. Complete insanity!

Though I do think as it was 1999 back then, people were more uptight with personal style. If she had dyed her hair pink instead people would have flipped out too.

I do think there were better hair styles to choose from though. I think if she had a cut her hair to chin length & straightened it it could look pretty & still have a big impact. Something like that.

But honestly it’s just hair. I had a horrible haircut one year in university but it grew out on a few months & was fine. No big deal....but I wasn’t on tv so no one cared I guess 🤷‍♀️

In the ‘series finale’ , Felicity abruptly chooses medicine. Why??? That uncompromising love for painting just gone....And back to medicine? I wanted her to be an artist!

Every artist has a day job to support them. Felicity was acting like she was going to starve because she couldn’t sell her paintings.

I wish they found her a day job she really liked to support herself. I wanted her to be all-in.

Or they could find her a middle ground. That internship at the architectural firm, she could have realized she wanted to be an architect or something. Something other than medicine.

I really like though that she chose herself finally. Then Ben follows her to school. That was perfect. I just wished she didn’t want to be a doctor. I feel like that goes against everything she wanted.

Overall a great series. I love how they approach mental health - Felicity’s too. She was getting therapy regularly. It was nice to see. Very healthy.

I like JJ Abrams’ work but I (like everyone else) question the last several episodes. Nonsensical & out of place.

Personally I think the show should have put less emphasis on the romantic relationships & drama & more on self discovery by all characters. That’s more interesting...then sprinkle in a few moments here and there. A few episodes on love etc each season. We didn’t need the constant longing looks & drama of Will they won’t they.

I know I’m in a minority when it comes to such things but I feel the media - tv & movies especially focus WAY too much on the romance.

Then of course people like me who are borderline Asexual (except when it comes to fictional characters lol), I find it exhausting to always be bombarded with romance from all angles. However, if Felicity (and other shows) just used it occasionally & not every single episode I wouldn’t mind.

It’s just hard to care about a show if it just feels like it’s only about relationships and not much about life. But that’s just me.

The storylines that had me intensely interested in this show were:

- Ben’s relationship with his dad

- Ben gaining self confidence & realizing he’s actually smart

- Noel’s graphic designs & career

- Noel’s mental health

- Meghan’s rebellious nature & wanting to see what happens when she gets over the need to rebel (though we didn’t see much of it).

- Felicity’s parents’ attitude - I wanted them to see that they were wrong & admit it to her (though they don’t) 😞

- Wanting to see Richard find something he was really interested in & good at (which never happened)

- Wanting Felicity to have fun! Random silliness or parties...they rarely partied or did weird outings to things like paintball or bowling. College is for doing a million things. I wish tv land would do more if this

- Wanting Felicity to stop making decisions because of her love interests

- Wanting Felicity to go on a summer trip or internship to Europe on her own (never happened)

- Wanting Felicity to choose art (also didn’t happen) & support herself with either a job she simply likes (dog waking, tutoring, retail etc) or something in the art field (art therapy, illustrator etc)

To me these should have been the priorities & add romance occasionally...

But overall the series was good. The acting was really good from everyone. Even minor characters had pretty good actors. So well done!

The actors are great in other projects too. Keri Russell was in The Americans, even the Rise of Skywalker. Never saw them but I heard great things. Personally I really liked her in Austenland, August Rush, Mission Impossible 3 (small but great role), and I LOVED her in the movie Waitress.

Definitely give the actors a watch in other projects, even if you have mixed feelings about them in Felicity. They’re all good.

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diet-coke-sims · 5 years

Photo

Hello! I’m Alex! IDC what pronouns but I am used to she/her! I have had this account for a while and I want to start posting! Not that anyone will care. I have been playing The Sims for a few years now :) I mostly play TS4 (I know how to recolor and am self-learning mesh editing/merging) but TS3 is my favorite. I am planning to post some berry stuff in a while, I just have to organize everything and put in some new parts in my computer.

You may want to know that while English is the only language I speak, I am absoluty horrible at it. I will probably misspell/misuse words a lot. I am sorry. Also, if you want anything recolored for TS4, feel free to ask! I have the noodles sorbet actions but if you want to send me others and request those/any specific colors I can attempt it for you! Also sorry this is so long, I got carried away and wanted to put stuff I always like reading about you guys! My anxiety is also a HUGE problem. If you would like to talk to me, messaging is the best bet!

Me & TS4 (Mostly MM~90%)

Favorite/Least Favorite: Skills

Favorites are Flower Arranging/Gardening!

Least Liked is Baking!

Favorite/Least Favorite: Careers

Favorite is... I guess... Secret Agent? None really.

Least Liked is Conservationist. It’s just boring for me.

Favorite/Least Favorite: Expansion Packs

Favorites are Seasons/Get To Work!

Least Liked is Island Living. It’s lacking in gameplay imo.

Favorite/Least Favorite: Game Packs

Favorite is Vampires! I remember the day the trailer came out!

Least Liked is none! I love and always use all of them!

Favorite/Least Favorite: Stuff Packs

Favorites are Fitness/Bowling/Laundry Day/Romantic Garden/Spooky/Vintage Glamour!

Least Liked out of the ones I have is Movie Hangout! Least Liked out of them all, is the cash grab First Pet Stuff

My TS4 Traits:

Paranoid - Paranoid Sims feel that danger is around every corner, and that people are always talking about them. Paranoid Sims feel a sense of security while hanging out in basements.

Erratic - These Sims can Talk to themselves and have unpredictable Emotions.

Clumsy - These Sims tend to fail more often at physical activities and tend to laugh at failure instead of becoming upset.

ME & TS3

Favorite/Least Favorite: Skills

Favorite is Gardening!

Least Liked is none of them! I like them all!

Favorite/Least Favorite: Careers

Favorite is Daycare!

Least Liked is Singer.

Favorite/Least Favorite: Expansion Packs

Favorites are Generations/Into The Future/Supernatural/University Life/Ambitions!

Least Liked is Showtime. SO BORING.

Favorite/Least Favorite: Stuff Packs

Favorites are High-End Loft Stuff/Master Suite.

Least Liked is the only one I don’t own: Katy Perry Sweet Treats.

Favorite/Least Favorite: Store Worlds

Favorites are Dragon Valley/Aurora Skies/Midnight Hollow.

Least Liked is Barnacle Bay.

My TS3 Traits:

Neurotic - Neurotic Sims will freak out at the most minor of provocations. They can become stressed easily and can be difficult to mellow. Luckily they take solace in sharing their worries with others.

Socially Awkward - Socially Awkward Sims try to fit in, but sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong time. It's not easy being Socially Awkward, but it sure is awkward!

Brooding - Brooding Sims often can't help themselves from contemplating the riddles, mystery, and meaning of life. Sometimes the weight of these incredibly deep thoughts can become a distraction, and can actually slow down the creative process slightly.

Coward - Cowards are terrified of everything that can and will go bump in the night. They are scared of the dark and will frequently faint in 'dire' situations.

Absent-minded - Absent-Minded Sims get lost in their thoughts and occasionally forget what they are doing, or where they are going.

My TS3 Favorites:

Music: Dark Wave, DigiTunes, Electronica, Rock (I know, as a Sim, you can only have one but I love them all too much lol)

Color: Black. If your one of those people that is stubborn that it is a shade, then my second favorite is purple.

Food: I don’t like food as a part of my ED I have, but Sushi is the closet thing.

This or This?

(based off of TS3 + TS4 traits)

Unflirty or Flirty/Romantic? I come off as flirty, but it isn’t my intention.

Computer Whiz or Technophobe? Whiz, for sure.

Evil or Good? Good! I do my best everyday to be the best me I can! Unlike sims, I don’t hate other people for having the guts to be evil.

Loves The Outdoors or Hates The Outdoors? I hate it so much.

Cat Lover or Dog Lover or Equestrian? Cat Lover! I have a kitten, soon to be full cat!

Loner or Outgoing? I am a loner, but I do go out of my way to try to make everyone feel included, or at least I try!

Supernatural Fan or Skeptic? Fan!!! LET ME BE A VAMPIRE/WITCH HYBRID IN REAL LIFE PLEASE!

Athletic or Clumsy? Clumsy, and I hate it.

Hydrophobic or Loves To Swim? I love swimming so much! Been doing it my whole life! I can’t do a single stroke though.

Active or Lazy? *chuckles* Lazy

Other Games I’ve Played: (that I can think of)

Both Watch Dogs <333

3 of the Assassin’s Creeds (Origins is the best one :P )

Ex-Overwatch player (played from when it came out to the second halloween event)

Planet Zoo (Timber Wolves are the best)

Minecraft ?Vet? (IDK if I count as veteran or not...)

Tropico 6

Two Point Hospital

DDLC (Natsuki is my girl)

LEGO Star Wars The Complete Saga

Terraria

FFXIV (Used to play- was an Astro Main)

LIS + LIS:BTS

Rimworld

Death Road to Canada

Town of Salem

Stellaris

So... if you somehow have made it this far... I’m sorry. If you wanna talk about anything I’ve mentioned or anything else, please message me if you feel like!

#simblr #new simblr #ts3 #ts4 #im not sleeping tonight #its already 3:54am #i spent an hour on this no joke im just really scared to post this #introduction

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julictcapulet · 4 years

Note

💘 + for all three of our ships!!!!!!

literally MY CHILDREN i love them :’)

AARON &. WILLOW

where they first met and how: Willow was hired as the band’s photographer so she and Aaron met at the photoshoot, and they hit it off right away

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: Sooo long, like it was over a year before feelings were actually confronted. It was a lot of both of them having feelings they ignored because they assumed they’d just go away and then realizing they weren’t going away so they had to hide them because they both thought the other didn’t reciprocate, and then over a year later Aaron got impatient.

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): Aaron for sure.

where their first date was and what it was like: I always imagined their first proper date to be at a bar, probably the same one they’ve been going to since they met, and at first it was awkward because they were both very aware that this was a ~date~ but after like ten minutes, things smoothed out.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): I think after they get their shit sorted out, it was kinda just like....a thing?

who proposes first: Aaron :)

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: Well, everybody in their friend group already knows they have feelings for each other and they find it insufferable, but after they actually begin dating, I think they’d let it go like two or three weeks without saying anything just so they can have their time, you know?

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): Aaron proposes in his apartment because they’re both private people

if they adopt any pets together: Omg please, I want them to have so many pets

who’s more dominant: Willow. Aaron’s a very mild guy, and Willow is not.

where their first kiss was and what it was like: A lil drunk, way before things got serious between them, and even though they both enjoyed it, it left things very complicated for a bit. That didn’t stop them from kissing a few more times before they even thought of getting together.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): I don’t know actually? Feel free to give me your ideas qheifujwjkq

how into pda they are: They’re into PDA when it’s not, like......PDA, you know? Like, they’ll hold hands and Willow will lean her head on his shoulder in front of the group and stuff, like they’re fine with being touchy because they are, but when it comes to kissing and more in public, they’ll do it in isolated areas and still get a thrill from knowing people can see them.

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Aaron because he’s taller

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): Either their favorite bar or Aaron’s loft

who’s more protective: Aaron. He’s seen Willow get hurt too many times to not be protective

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): Over a year before they had sex, but they’d probably slept in the same bed a few times at that point.

if they argue about anything: Commitment, lmao. Also, what movie they watch.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Willow. We love a top

who steals whose clothes and how often: Willow steals all of Aaron’s shirts

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Facing each other because they’re sickeningly in love

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: You know what? I see them playing board games, okay.

how long they stay mad at each other: Probably like a few hours lol. Until shit really hits the fan but we won’t talk about that.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Aaron drinks his coffee black and his tea with extra sugar but idk about Willow

if they ever have any children together: I can see it and it makes me emo :’)

if they have any special pet names for each other: I’m not going over this question again okay

if they ever split up and / or get back together: Lmao yes

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): Messy with not a lot of decor, mostly some of Aaron’s favorite photographs of Willow’s that she’s taken that he hangs around the loft (like aEsThEtIc ones yk) and pics of them. Some fake plants probably

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: Cute as hell, probably with their whole friend group celebrating together

what their names are in each other’s phones: Their names with emojis next to them <3

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): Movie nights!!

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Aaron falls asleep and wakes up first.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Aaron’s the big spoon, Willow’s the little spoon

who hogs the bathroom: Willow

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: Aaron

CAMILLE &. BLAKE

where they first met and how: They grew up in the same sort of circle since childhood because of their parents, and they were both aware of each other’s existence especially in high school, but because Blake was older and Camille had a reputation that he didn’t associate with, they never actually met until their parents told them about the wedding.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: There was no real ‘flirting’ phase, there was a lot of arguing, a lot of sex, and then somehow they fell in love.

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): I really really think Blake fell first, if only because Camille was still so understandably upset about the wedding and how Blake handled it? She never even thought about whether or not she had feelings for him until she heard him say ‘I love you’.

where their first date was and what it was like: An arranged public outing at some fancy restaurant that their parents arranged. It was really tense because Camille wouldn’t cooperate and at the end, she wouldn’t even let him put his arm around her for any cameras.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): Their parents did it for them lol

who proposes first: Do I really need to answer this question? But the second time, it’s after their second huge fight, about the lawyer, and they decide to have a second wedding together.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: Lmao cute

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): It’s not a thing, it’s more like their parents just put an announcement on the front page of the paper and that’s how everyone knew. The second time, like the actual proposal, was just between the two of them after Camille came home and it was more of a discussion, not a proposal.

if they adopt any pets together: I don’t see it, just because Camille is a control freak and she can’t handle the responsibility.

who’s more dominant: They both have their moments.

where their first kiss was and what it was like: Their first kiss was a picture for their engagement announcement, but their first like, actual kiss was when Camille came to his office to get him to call of the wedding and they started arguing.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): They probably got so many matching couples gifts from their first wedding because it was obscenely big and their parents probably invited like 400 people, but I doubt they kept any of it.

how into pda they are: Very :)

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Blake because height difference

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): A really nice restaurant probably.

who’s more protective: Both of them

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): They first had sex when Camille went to ask him to call off the wedding and he said no, and I think when they first moved in together, they didn’t really sleep in the same bed for a bit. One of them was probably always going to a different room to sleep without saying anything about it, and then one time they had sex and neither of them got up so it just became a thing.

if they argue about anything: Everything.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Blake leaves a lot of marks on Camille, usually where no one can see, like bruises on her hips or her neck that she covers up, and Camille leaves scratches on his back

who steals whose clothes and how often: Camille would steal any of his sweatshirts.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Spooning

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: They really just like spending time together when things sort of calm down between them. They’ll sit and talk with each other, or they’ll be doing their own thing but like, together, you know?

how long they stay mad at each other: A while

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Camille’s is an iced caramel latte no matter the season or the weather because she’s a typical New Yorker

if they ever have any children together: Max, two kids. God help Camille if her first kid isn’t a girl.

if they have any special pet names for each other: I’m not answering this

if they ever split up and / or get back together: Yeah like three times

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): Clean because Camille is a neat freak and a control freak and she used her designer’s eye to make sure they live in a very nice home

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: It was probably terrible. They most likely spent it with their families together after their first wedding and they both had an awful time

what their names are in each other’s phones: If Cami’s name isn’t My Wife with an engagement ring emoji next to it in Blake’s phone, I’m suing. In her phone, it’s his name with the 💝 emoji

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): I think after they become a very stable couple, they both want to actually have dates together so they decide to go to new places every so often. Also, Camille would try to teach Blake how to cook.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Camille falls asleep first, Blake wakes up first.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Blake is the big spoon

who hogs the bathroom: Camille, but it’s a big bathroom with a his and hers side so they’re fine, she’s just in there longer.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: Blake.

MONTY &. LUCILLE

where they first met and how: As children :’) Lucille was immediately infatuated with Monty

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: Was there really a flirting phase, though? Was it not more of Lucille being in love with him and him being in love with her sister and then after they met again in Paris, she was literally engaged so it was just a lot of tension?

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): Lucille

where their first date was and what it was like: A picnic, fight me

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): Monty probably makes a scene in front of Lucille but like, no one else is around, it’s just them

who proposes first: Monty

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: They probably don’t tell anybody back home until they get home

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): Probably on another picnic, FIGHT ME

if they adopt any pets together: Maybe a cat. Lucille is a cat person

who’s more dominant: Monty. Lucille is not dominant in the slightest.

where their first kiss was and what it was like: Monty probably just snapped and kissed Lucille and she didn’t expect it and didn’t know what to do

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): Hand towels as a wedding present.

how into pda they are: Lucille gets a thrill out of it because it makes her feel ~*~scandalous~*~

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Monty because he’s a gentleman

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): A really nice field or courtyard

who’s more protective: Monty

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): You know, I have a feeling that before they got married Lucille probably let Monty sleep in her bed, but they didn’t have sex until after

if they argue about anything: They debate over literature constantly, but also, feelings :) If you want some angst when they finally get together, think about Lucille having doubts about Monty and Katherine and thinking she’s a consolation prize and them arguing about it

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Lucille likes when Monty leaves marks, but she’d also leave lipstick marks on him

who steals whose clothes and how often: She’d take some of his clothes.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Both

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: Going to see plays and operas together

how long they stay mad at each other: Lucille can hold a grudge for a while

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Milk and sugar

if they ever have any children together: Yes :’)

if they have any special pet names for each other: Enough

if they ever split up and / or get back together: No, it just takes them a long long long time to get together, but once they do, they’re solid

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): It’s a big space but it’s still a home. It looks lived in and it doesn’t feel like a cold estate.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: Probably much like it was when they were spending the holidays together as children. Just lots of family around them.

what their names are in each other’s phones: If they had phones, Lucille would just have his name as Monty in hers because she wouldn’t like emojis in contact names. She would use them excessively when texting, though.

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): p i c n i c s

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Lucille falls asleep first, Monty wakes up first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Lucille is the little spoon.

who hogs the bathroom: Lucille

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: Monty, what a man

#rosecolore-d #answered #(meme. mine)#(meme. aaron)#(meme. camille)#(meme. lucianna)#(aaron clarke. the kaleidoscope heart)#(camille ferri. the princess scorned)#(lucianna howard. the idealized dream)#(aaron and willow. two punch drunk souls all tangled in the wind)#(camille and blake. the stupid truth is i'm so bad for you)#(lucianna and monty. don't need a ring for my finger; just need a steady hand to hold)#💖 mutually assured destruction 💖

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angstymarshmallow · 5 years

Text

ruin you (logan x mc)

[a little note: finished up another prompt before bed, right in time for @choicesarehard. Happy Birthday Ellie! I know how much you love Logan and although this is hella angsty - you’ve helped me through a rough patch tonight by giving me something to work towards. This is for the prompt What do you want me to say? Also this was totally supposed to be done before July 1st, so I am like...three days late lol BUT I wanted to at least have it for your birthday. And for your listening pleasure You’re So Very Far Away]

[words counted: 1609]

The light has been left on again.

In their quaint and little apartment – where the heat barely goes up to 20 degrees, Nathalia stops by the front steps and pauses.

Something is wrong.

Her intuition is screaming at her, but she tries to ignore the quiet panic budding inside her chest.

Nothing can’t be wrong, when it’s finally been right between them. How many countless hours have they spent in here? Laughing again? Enjoying all that’s left of the summer before fall?

Closing the door quietly behind her, Nathalia swallows past a sudden lump in her throat. Before she is able to take another step further inside, she rocks back and forth on her heels; a habit that’s been too hard to kick when her anxiety nears an all time high.

It doesn’t take much for her to realize he isn’t here. Although, the light has been left on – it’s the only warmth that lingers in their temporary flat. Everything else is cold and dark. There’s no aroma of junk food she’s gotten used to anticipating by the time she’s stepped foot inside – or no sound of his laughter bouncing off the walls in his incessant attempts at teasing her.

It’s just her.

Nathalia breathes in deeply. She drops her shoes by the front mat and shuts out the cold by fiddling with the heater oddly located in the kitchen.

Once she hears its familiar hum, she trudges further into their home; looking for any sign of him. Her anxiety hasn’t gone away, because this isn’t the first time he’s left without a message. But he always comes back; with an apology and a look of guilt – but he always comes back. It isn’t until she’s talked him down – till she’s reassured him that leaving Langston behind had been her choice to make. Because love takes sacrifice, she’s sacrificed a hell of a lot to be with him.

And the thought of him wandering out alone at this time of the night makes her miss a step and she fumbles to find her balance again.

Her fingers grip the dull-painted wall at the last second and she ambles forward; her eyes skimming for any sign – any sign of him.

Her phone echoes the unwavering silence of their loft, until she tucks it between her shoulder and her chin. She listens for the ring after dialing his number. Her heart has already begun its uneven pace, hurried at the thought of this being it – this being the last time.

Nathalia’s anxiety spikes as her feet near the threshold of their room. Her heart heavy with trepidation, she stops to stare at the long mahogany doorframe. She’s too afraid to open it, too afraid that he won’t be on the other side – waiting for her. Her fingers tremble as they halt at the doorknob. She takes a breath. And then another. Then another. Releasing the last one slowly, Nathalia takes the plunge and shoves the door wide open. She ignores its gentle creak, until it light hits their dresser.

It’s empty.

The sheets are all made. Her favourite stuff toy – the one he won her months ago at a local town fair is in the middle of the bed, as if it’s supposed to make up for not seeing him there instead. She can’t spot any of his unmade clothes; the way she’s accustomed to seeing when they’ve been out too late nights before. In fact, everything is folded so neatly and well put-together that she’s momentarily left stunned.

Their home isn’t supposed to look this.

Her feet finally move of their own accord – taking her across the creaky floorboards, as she tries to convince herself that this is all some awful nightmare. But the dial tone coming from her phone tells her otherwise. It keeps her rooted here, in the present and not in the past full of memories of Logan.

Her hands shake as she goes through drawer after drawer, searching for any proof that he’s been here. He’s been here with her. But she can’t find anything – not even a T-shirt to hold onto. All that’s left is the stupid teddy bear he won her.

it isn’t until she hears the click across the phone that she’s finally able to make a sound. “L-Logan?” Her voice is breaking, before she can even stop it. “What’s going on?”

For a moment she thinks he’s hung up. The silence is deafening on the other line. And then. “What do you want me to say?”

She hears it in his voice – he’s broken too, even if he won’t say it because his words are all at ends with each other. He sounds faraway. Is that…the sound of a train in the background? “I-I don’t understand.” She reaches for the teddy bear, clinging it to her chest – wishing it was him instead. Why did you leave? Aren’t I enough?

“Nathalia.” He never says her full name.

It’s so weird to hear it that she freezes and waits with bated breath for him to say more. For him to say something. At least to explain why she’s all alone in the middle of the night with the little home they’re supposed to be building together.

“This was never going to last. You and me.” A pause. “We were living in someone else’s fantasy. We don’t get to choose.”

“I don’t believe that.” Her breath hitches. “And you don’t believe that either, not anymore. Not after everything we’ve been through” She presses the teddy bear closely to her chest, lets out a soft sigh as she shudders. “Why are you doing this Logan?! Haven’t I done everything I can? Haven’t I loved you to the moon and back?”

“But that’s the thing. If I’m supposed to love you, the way you deserved to be love – I shouldn’t be taking your dreams away. I shouldn’t make you choose.”

Nathalia shakes her head vehemently, pressing the phone closer to her ears until it hurts. But it’s good to feel something else, something other than her heart filling up with grief at hearing him speak. “But don’t you get it? I chose you. And I’ll keep choosing you – over and over again.”

“Nat –”

“No Logan! You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to decide for me. You promised. You promised.”

“Yeah well,” a sigh. “This isn’t the first time I’ve broken a promise. That’s what I do. That’s the kind of person I am. I’m no good Nat. I hurt people that get too close, and I don’t want to keep hurting you.” He’s raising his voice now, it’s high enough for her to almost flinch. “I want you to live and follow your dreams – not to give them up for me!”

But she isn’t going to let him go – not without a fight. She’s told him enough every time he has the galls to be self-deprecating. “And I’m not giving up on you! Don’t you get it? You’re my dream.”

Silence.

It’s been complete silence for an entire minute but Nathalia knows he hasn’t hung up. He’s still there, listening like she is. Maybe he’s waiting for her to hang up first, maybe he’s always been waiting for her to somehow give up on him. But she won’t. She can’t. He’s been through enough as it is – hell, they’ve been through enough for her to realize that he’s all she wants. All she needs.

“Maybe it’s time we both woke up.”

She doesn’t know if she’s still breathing. She thinks she is – but it’s hard to get anything inside her lungs. Everything hurts. Everything wants to crumble and all she can do is clutch the teddy bear tighter as something wet touches her cheeks. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. To us. I thought-I thought you loved me!” She throws the words at him like a spear and she can almost hear his harsh intake of breath, she can nearly picture the look of hurt flickering in his eyes. A small part of herself will be upset at the thought of doing this, but right now all she can think about is he’s leaving her again. “And when you love someone, you don’t leave them – you stay.”

“It’s because I love you that I have to say goodbye. Dammit Nat,” he lets out a string of curses. “I won’t ruin you.”

Her heart lurches. How can he still think that? “I’m not a child. I’m my own woman and - you aren’t ruining me.” The words are on her tongue and she says them insistently.

“Aren’t I? You left Langston behind, for me. You’ve been running from your dad, the law – for me. What good am I when you’ve had to push everything else away? And for what? Because I couldn’t imagine life without you? What kind of a person does that?”

“I chose to leave with you. I chose to run away with you. I chose to love you. You didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to. I made all those decisions on my own, and it’s not fair for you to place all of that…that guilt, that blame and hate all on yourself.” Doesn’t he realize there’s no version of her that can live without him?

“Well, the world isn’t fair –” his voice breaks, “and neither is what I did to you.”

“We’ve already been here Logan. We’ve been here more times than I can count and my answer has never changed.” She tries to keep her voice insistent, she’s pleading him not to go. “Please, let’s talk about this. In person. J-J-Just come home baby.” Can he hear it? Her heart breaking as much as her voice does?

“God, I want to.” She hears his loud exhale into her ear. “I want to so badly Nat. You have no idea how much I want to turn back around and see you. Kiss you. Hold you. But I can’t anymore. I can’t be your every mistake. And I hope….I hope someday you’ll forgive me.”

“What? That isn’t –” she’s fumbling over her words but she has to stop him. “Logan, please.”

The soft click across the line doesn’t stop there, it echoes in her heart and like an endless loop it’s all she can hear. She takes a ragged breath. And then another. And another. Until all she’s capable of doing is crying and curling up with the only thing he’s left behind.

#ride or die #rodaw #logan x mc #ride or die a bad boy romance #logan: ride or die #logan ride or die #playchoices #choices stories you play #prompt #fic request #two down #one to go #I don't remember if I was supposed to tag anyone into logan fanfics...but I'll just leave this here and go to bed

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staytheb · 4 years

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Insufferable

Pairing: NCT’s Jaehyun x OC [Nayoung] Genre: idol!au, slice of life, slight fluff Word Count: 1,557 Summary: Nayoung thought she only had to deal with submitting the documents her father wanted her to do. Instead she finds out that she has to deal with Jaehyun after getting said documents from a high place and he’s her only way down. prequel

Warning: none.

hello! it’s been a while. with the whole pandemic, i’ve lost interest in writing and had no mood for anything. then eventually under different living arrangements and environment, i finally got something to write. to the anon, i haven’t forgotten about the 1TEAM request, i just don’t have the “mood” to write it atm. anyways, so this was inspired by that clip i saw of Jaehyun moving the stool from Mark and basically forcing Mark to jump in to his arms if he wanted to get off the van lol so yeah~ but um, hope all of y’all stay safe and healthy. happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

After arriving at the company Nayoung went in search of the documents her father wanted her to review. She assumed they were on her desk, but she found nothing. She called her father and learned that his secretary, Chilhyun, had put them away during remodeling a few weeks ago. Nayoung called Chilhyun and he told her that he had placed it in a large brown and black box. The said box was located in one of the storage rooms and placed atop of this weird loft-like shelf. Nayoung wondered why her father's secretary would place it here of all places and not with him or someone trustworthy. She figured it was to keep it hidden and secure from prying eyes since it was basically out of sight and view as people barely came in to these rooms.

"How am I supposed to get up there though?" Nayoung asked herself while glancing around to see if there was a step stool or something.

She spotted a step ladder that was folded in-between two smaller storage shelves. Once she got it set up against another storage shelf close to where the box was did she test it out to make sure it was stable enough to use. Nayoung let out a breath as she climbed the steps, then lifted herself on top of the shelf. She realized that she was still short and out of reach to grab the actual container.

"The next time Chilhyun puts something away, I'm gonna make sure he puts it somewhere with less work to get to it." She muttered as she maneuvered over to the next stoage self.

She let out a tired sigh when she realized that she was still out of reach so Nayoung tentatively moved closer as she stepped onto another slightly taller storage shelf next to the one she was currently standing on before climbing higher to an even taller one and arrived where she needed to be.

"I'm seriously gonna make sure he never does this again." Nayoung grumbled as she opened the box and found what she was looking for.

Nayoung only took what she needed and slowly made her way down the cabinets until she noticed that Jaehyun was standing where the step ladder should've been.

"Put the ladder back." She ordered in a firm tone while glaring at him.

"Why? You have me here." Jaehyun answered surely with a smile while holding out his arms to catch her.

"That's not reassuring. Put it back."

"No."

"Jaehyun." Nayoung said his name through gritted teeth.

"Nayoung." Jaehyun mimicked, but in a more playful tone.

"Why are you here, anyways? Aren't you supposed to be finding a new gift for Roah?"

"I wanted to be with you and as for the new gift, well, Roah can expect something in ten months."

"Gah, you're so annoying. Is that all you ever think about?"

"Not really, but when I'm around you it pops up quite often."

Nayoung was close to throwing the files at Jaehyun, but remembered that if she did then she would have to pick them up.

"C'mon, Love," Jaehyun tried coaxing her with a soft tone, "The faster you get down, the faster we can return back to your niece's birthday party."

She ran a hand through her hair annoyed knowing full well that it was either to be stranded on top of the storage shelf or have Jaehyun's help. Plus, she really didn't want to miss the rest of her niece's party. Nayoung had planned another special surprise for the little girl and didn't want to have Roah to miss it. When she glanced down at the male did she realized that he had a good view to look up her dress.

"Don't look up." Nayoung ordered in a flustered tone upon that realization while covering the front of her with the files although she knew the dress wasn't that short, but it still made her feel self-conscious.

"How am I supposed to catch you if I can't look at you to make sure?" Jaehyun countered with amusement in his tone.

"I meant don't look up my dress, Idiot."

Jaehyun scoffed.

"Love, what kind of guy do you take me for?"

"A guy." Nayoung deadpanned.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, but still held out his arms for Nayoung to fall into them.

"C'mon, Love. How else are you gonna get down?"

"With the step ladder you moved away in the first place."

"True, but I'm here now. I'm your only way down."

"Yeah, I know."

Nayoung debated if she wanted to call another person as she did have her mobile phone on her, but she knew that just seemed a bit dumb to do so since someone was technically already there with her in the building. She let out a breath deciding to give in to Jaehyun.

"Fine, but you better not drop me."

"I would never drop you."

Nayoung scowled as she sat at the edge of the storage shelf. She lightly tossed her belongings to him one at a time to make sure they were kept intact to which he fortunately kept in their good form. Jaehyun returned with opened arms and a large grin upon his face.

"Alright, Love, ready whenever you are."

Nayoung inhaled deeply, held it, and exhaled slowly before glancing at Jaehyun anxiously. He caught the way she looked at him and his face soften.

"Just jump, Nayoung. I'll make sure to catch you one way or another." He assured her with a calm tone.

A moment later Nayoung pushed herself off the shelf and towards Jaehyun's figure. She had her eyes closed and waited for the impact of actually crashing to the floor since she assumed he would lose his footing or something along those lines. A few seconds later she realized that there was no hard impact whatsoever and opened her eyes. She glanced about her and realized that Jaehyun had indeed caught her without dropping her in the process. Placing her feet onto the ground Nayoung then tried to pull herself away, but Jaehyun held her firmly against him.

"You can let go of me now." She told him, but he smiled at her widely.

"I quite like this." He replied.

"Well, whatever you like doesn't matter right now. I need to finish something."

Nayoung tried to pry herself out of his grasp again, but Jaehyun was seriously not letting her go.

"Would it matter if I actually confess?" Jaehyun suddenly asked causing Nayoung to stop squirming in his arms.

"You're really gonna do that right here and now of all days and situations?"

"Mmhmm."

Jaehyun nodded with a smile.

"You do realize that you can't go around flirting and charming other people, right?"

"Mmhmm."

He once again nodded and smiled, but this time his dimples were showing.

"Are you sure you're ready to commit yourself to a relationship with me?" Nayoung continued to ask questions not really believing what was happening right now.

"Mmhmm."

Again there was no hesitation on Jaehyun's end. Nayoung regarded the male as Jaehyun's dimples deepened.

"I've liked you for a long time, Nayoung. I thought that was pretty obvious with how I behave when I'm around and with you."

"Oh yeah, totally, Jaehyun." She responded sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

Jaehyun laughed at her response before speaking again.

"I know you feel the same way, too, so just admit it and we can get on with the rest of our day."

Nayoung glanced at him with a smirk.

"I'll think about it."

"Okay. While you do that, then I'll just stay like this with you."

Nayoung groaned.

"Jaehyun. Seriously. I have stuff to do."

"So do I, but I have to wait."

"You're so insufferable."

"You're really gonna have to re-think that since you're gonna be stuck with me for a long time."

"Says you."

Jaehyun rolled his eyes.

"Seriously. Why is it so hard to get a straight answer from you?"

"It's not. It's just depends on who the person is and what they're asking."

She glared up at him.

"And you're asking for a lot when I need to be doing work-related stuff at the moment."

"How badly does your dad need you to submit those files?" Jaehyun asked changing the topic.

"Not that badly as I still have like a week or so to do it, but I just want to do it now so that I don't have to worry about it later." She answered nonchalantly.

"Good. I'll bring you back later tonight."

Before Nayoung could ask him on what he meant Jaehyun had let her go only to take a hold of her hand this time around and leading them out of the room while leaving Nayoung's things behind.

"Hey! Where are we going. Oh, wait. My phone."

Jaehyun swung them around so he could grab her mobile device and re-routed them back to wherever he wanted to take Nayoung.

"If I tell you I like you now, then would you let me do what I need to do?" She asked a moment later.

"No. You lost that chance." Jaehyun answered with a laugh. "But you can do what you need to do later tonight after our date."

"You're really insufferable."

Jaehyun just laughed as he pulled her alongside him so that their pace matched.

#staytheb #nct scenarios #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #nct 127 #nct u

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paperclipninja · 5 years

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Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler. This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week. Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show.

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display.

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other).

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK. Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji*

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest. Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster’s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city.

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.

#youngertv #younger tv #ramble #review #younger season 6 #6x09 #liza miller #charles brooks #diana trout #kelsey peters #team charles #tv

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blondecarfucker · 6 years

Text

Bed of Roses (Chapter 16)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.

Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE STORY. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.

Chapter's notes: So we're closer to the end! I can't believe there's only five more chapters to go. But yeah, this chapter was nice - I'm not gonna say it's a happy chapter, but it's happier than the last few ones lol. It's a chapter that has a bit more of me in it - but it's still a Reader fic, so don't worry lol. Please tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages!

Words: 2800ish

ACT 3 - DAWN

"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"

Chapter 16

1977, New York

The bench under your bum made you uncomfortable, but you were still too lazy to care - you always left the beach like this.

You were on the long, one hour way back to your loft in Greene Street, SoHo, through the good old F train, every inch of the train filled with graffiti. But you could still smell the salt in the air coming from the New York Aquarium Station - the best station to access the Coney Island sidewalk and beach.

There was better, cleaner beaches in the Hamptons, but they were full of annoyingly rich people that think they're better than the rest. Also, Coney Island held a special place in your heart - when you were a kid, your grandma would take you there, so you could enjoy the sun and the not-so-safe attractions, and your parents would always freak out when they found out that you took the unsafe subway through the unsafe neighbourhood of Brooklyn to get to a dirty beach.

But it was always fun. The sun would almost certainly burn your shoulders, and you could never wear any jewelry, but the feeling of being involved by the sea, floating in the water, holding your breath, after spending a couple hours on carousels and wooden roller coasters, would always make it worth it - your grandma always taught you to be brave, that things could be scary at first, but usually worked out. "If it doesn't make you happier, it makes you wiser", she'd tell you, and you'd nod, the taste of cheap ice cream on your mouth, the sun warming up your skin.

It was your grandma who figured out that something was wrong with you and made you seek help.

She came by to visit as soon as you called her, right after getting home from Cleopatra's Needle and breaking up with Roger. She came to your parent's apartment, complaining about the traffic - she lived in Paramus, New Jersey, now. She moved there in 1973, saying that it was ludicrous she couldn't grow old with a nice garden on the back of her house, just because Manhattan didn't have houses with gardens anymore.

Now, once you came back from London, in 1975, she looked at you and immediately knew something was wrong. "Sweetpea, what's wrong?" she asked, a frown on her face as she got closer to you.

You were lying on the couch in your pajamas, trying to see if you could find a Doctor Who re-run - probably not a good idea, all things considered, but you didn't just miss Roger, now that he's away. You missed England, you missed their accents, you missed the way you felt when you first got there. "What, grandma?", you asked, and she got you to get up, putting her hand against your forehead.

"You're different", she said, and you shrugged, "Yeah, I'm older", and she laughed. "So am I, Sweetpea. And it hasn't been so long since I last saw you - last year, right? You came here with your hairy boyfriend", she said, and you tensed up, which didn't go unnoticed. "Oh. I see. Something happened between the two of you, right?" she asked, and you nodded.

"That's it. You look sadder. You didn't look like that before. But… Maybe that's not it. No, I don't think that's it at all", she said, and you looked at her, confused. "No, Grandma. That's what happened. I'm sad - I had to breakup with Roger, my boyf - ex-boyfriend", you interrupted yourself, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Roger, my ex-boyfriend, so I could get back here", you said, a cold pain spreading through your chest as the impact of these words hit you.

"But that's just a symptom. There's something else wrong there, Sweetpea. Something deeper within", she said, pointing to your heart. "And that's what made you sad, what made you break up with that boy. I liked him, you know. He made you happy - I could see it. You were always brave, and that always made me proud. But with him, you were happy - when you came into the room with him by your side, everything got brighter. Your love was like the sun", she said, fixing a painting on the wall, not noticing how your eyes were tearing up.

"That's how I last saw you. Brave and happy", she looked at the painting, satisfied with it now that it was not crooked anymore, and turned to you. "Now you're neither. What happened, Sweetpea?", and you choked up. "I don't know", you whispered, and she hugged you as you started to cry - she smelled like plums and apples, the things she grew on her garden in Paramus.

You couldn't stop thinking about the last time she saw you - it was in 1974, and the boys came to America, specifically to New York for a few dates, and you had to come with them - they wanted you to do so. Also, you were dating Roger for two years, and it was time for him to meet your parents.

You came from a small gig in Boston, Roger holding your hand the entire plane ride to New York - he was nervous. You were travelling right after their show, an extra night before the rest of the boys, so you could take Roger to have dinner with your parents.

None of you knew your parents actually organized a dinner party, and invited part of your family - your uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents. Your uncle opened the door to your apartments, surprising both you and Roger. "Hm, hey, uncle Marcus. Where are my parents?", you asked, and you felt Roger's grip on your hand tighten as he noticed there would be many more family members for him to meet.

As you walked inside, you whispered to Roger "Relax, Rog", and he started looking more confident - but you could still feel his tight grip on your hand. He was still nervous.

But everything worked out just fine, actually. Your parents didn't really approve his looks - Roger was wearing a suit that he bought in Japan, with colorful birds and trees in silk shining against the dining room lights - but your cousins loved it. They loved him, actually, since they knew exactly who he was.

He got more comfortable as dinner went by, joking with your family, and you carefully changed topics once you realized one of your parents was about to ask a question about delicate stuff - money, marriage, kids.

You two always thought about marriage and kids as something distant - you felt too young, too irresponsible to take care of a child. So you took your birth control pills religiously, and everything worked out fine - the promise of children and marriage always there, in the distant future.

After the dinner party, Roger followed you to your room - you'd be spending the night there, since the band's hotel was booked for the next day.

"Well, this is an interesting look into a younger Y/N", Roger said, going through your bookshelf. "Frankenstein, Romeo and Juliet, Don Quixote, that's all pretty smart… 1984, I remember you talked about this book before our first kiss...", he said, and kneeled down, where your bookshelf was messier. "What's this? Flash Gordon?" he asks, picking up one of the comic books and going through it, and you could see he was trying not to laugh.

"What?", you said, getting the comics out of his hands. "I used to think Flash was hot. And Dale was pretty cool, too", you said, and he laughed, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.

"It's fine by me", he said, and looked out of your window. "It's just funny for me to imagine you, a teenager, sitting by your window in this preppy, quite soulless neighbourhood, reading Flash Gordon and thinking of a way out", he said, and you laughed.

"Hey, I didn't only do that. I also had sleepovers with girls I never spoke to since we graduated from high school, and went on a bunch of dates with guys I didn't really like", you answered, and it was his turn to laugh.

"Hm, doesn't seem like a very satisfying life to me", he whispered, moving his lips to your neck, and you nodded lightly. "Did you ever bring them here? To your room?", he asked, and you laughed. "No, my parents would die. They were quite liberal, but not like that. When I went on a date as a teenager, I had to go to their place later if I wanted some action, you know", you answered, and he started to move his kisses to your jaw. You knew what he was about to suggest.

"I know, Y/N... So, I'm just wondering, am I the first guy your parents are allowing inside your room?", he said, his breath on your jaw giving you goosebumps. "Yeah", you answered, and he kissed under your earlobe. "The first guy to sleep on your bed?", he asked, and you said "Yes".

"How are your parents allowing this, miss Y/L/N? Such a nice girl from such a nice family, locked inside her room with a british drummer", he said, his voice low and husky, moving you closer to your bed. But you wanted to take it slow - it was a special event, indeed.

"Not that I'm trying to break your roleplay, Roger, but we literally share a flat. It would be silly for them to get the guest bedroom ready for you", you said, and he scoffed, breaking away from your neck and looking at you.

"Yeah, but it would be hotter", he said, going back to kissing your jaw. "Imagine how hot it would be if I had to wait until your parents slept so I could leave the guest bedroom", he said, getting you to sit on the bed, "And then I would've to walk, very carefully, through the hallway, trying not to wake them up", he continued, laying you down on your back and moving on top of you, then going back to kissing your neck and cleavage as he completed, "Just to open your bedroom door and find you touching yourself, moaning my name".

"That would be pretty hot", you agreed. "Maybe I should get them to move you to the guest room", you shrugged, teasing him, and he stopped kissing your cleavage just to look at you and say "Don't you dare", before kissing your lips.

That night was a bad memory to have running over your head again and again as you laid on your bed every night to go to sleep, alone, a year later, after breaking up with Roger, in 1975.

Your grandma convinced you to seek help, and you tried everything: therapy - your parents looking at you weirdly because getting a therapist was still associated with severe mental illness, meditation, mediums, aromatherapy.

You didn't knew exactly what worked, but a year after you arrived, now in 1976, you were already in your new SoHo flat, having moved out of the Upper East Side, the neighbourhood you - and Roger - knew that didn't really have much to do with you, even though it was closer to the Met, where the work was interesting - and where you barely ever saw Will, uncomfortable looks exchanged between the two of you every time you had to see each other.

It was a cold winter day in December 1976 when you got up, your loft nicely illuminated, spacious, the soft light from the snowy day making everything seem more magical. The building was quiet, your artistic neighbours still asleep this early in the morning, and you made yourself some tea - with milk - and opened the window so you could sit on the emergency exit.

The street was also quiet, the only sound being a muffled free jazz, that was probably being played live in a grand piano inside one of the many lofts on Greene Street. It was then, the cold wind making your skin burn under the layers of sweaters, the tea getting rapidly cold, the jazz caressing your ears, when you realized you were not sad anymore.

You didn't feel that weight on your chest now, when you breathed in, filling your lungs with fresh, cold air, and you didn't feel like you had no control over your life. You were present, in the moment, and you felt happy. Happy with your life. Happy with yourself.

And you enjoyed this feeling, without thinking much, for as long as you stayed outside on the emergency exit; until you finished the tea, until the jazz player stopped, wherever he or she was.

Once you got inside, thinking about preparing a nice, warm bath, you walked by the phone, and you wanted to call Roger.

You wanted to call him many times before, but you were always desperate, regretting breaking up with him, or sad, just trying to know how he's doing, how the boys are doing.

But now, you didn't feel anything negative make you want to call him - you just wanted to let him know that you're happy again.

But that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to call him in the middle of the day for him - he probably wasn't even up yet.

So you went inside the bathtub and just felt grateful for meeting him, for having the opportunity to have him in your life. Now, it was peaceful.

Now, back at the F train to your house from Coney Island in 1977, you're taken out of your thoughts when you see a blonde head pass in front of you, but you don't feel nervous anymore - you knew it wasn't Roger.

You always thought you saw him, especially in 1975, your first year back in New York - always nervous, always imagining that he was just trying to see you, to talk to you, maybe to try to take you back to England with him.

You saw him everywhere, in those first weeks, still in your parents apartment, thinking he might be on you M86 bus to work, or maybe in this fancy cocktail party you attended.

But one time, in 1976, you could swear you saw him on the stairs at the Met as you bought a hot dog from the stands in front of the museum - the guy's hair was shorter and bleached, just like you saw in the pictures of Roger that appeared on magazines, and he looked confused. But you didn't really investigate it, though - it was probably just another guy, maybe even inspiring his own look in Roger's.

Your train reached your station and you finally got back to Greene Street, walking slowly to your building, taking in the view of your street. Now that you're far from Queen, you can see their importance, their impact on the world.

You watched as songs you saw get written and sung and produced right in front of you became huge hits - Deacy's song to Veronica reached #1 on the american charts. A song you saw get recorded in a weekend visiting your boyfriend as he worked - that's how you saw it.

You bought their new album in the end of last year, 1976, A Day at the Races. You loved it - it was probably your favourite, and you didn't knew if it was because their music was getting better or if it was because this was their first album you could enjoy as a fan, not being involved in how it was made. You liked to watch their TV specials and interviews, feeling grateful that you ever got to be around them, even though life - and your own, unconscious choices, you now realized - took you away from them. From Roger.

You loved You Take My Breath Away and Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, but Drowse truly held a special spot in your heart - maybe you only loved it so much because it was Roger's, and it sounded like talking to him about his childhood, something you've done many times before, but maybe you didn't love it just because you were biased by your story with Roger. The song sounded more american, and it even made you feel like you felt when you listened to Fleetwood Mac. You smiled at that thought.

Once you got home, you picked your mail and started going through it.

You weren't really paying attention to it - you were thinking about the Fleetwood Mac show you would attend next week for the Rumours tour, in the Madison Square Garden, when a heavier letter caught your eye.

The paper was soft, creamy beige, and sealed with wax. And then you read what was written over the envelope.

It was a letter sent by the Curator of Palaeolithic and Mesolithic collections from The British Museum.

---

Chapter 17

Masterlist

Taglist:

@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos

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zbeez-outlet · 2 years

Note

ok so about the anonymous assumptions...

i think that you're the kind of person to be super specific with their drinks (like my hot cocoa needs to have whipped cream and exactly 8 tiny marshmallows)

also i feel like your taste in music is really good (no idea why tho xD)

oh and i think you're the kind of person that has the most random discussions with friends about anything and everything late at night

hope you're doing well <3

These are so cute! Okay let’s go one at a time:

Probably about 95% of the time I’m just drinking water because I'm boring, but it does have to be iced water. I used to have a dispenser in my fridge that measured ounces and it always had to be an even number when I filled a cup or bottle - I don’t have it anymore lol. The other 5% is usually juice or something because I’m a 23 year old toddler, apple is my favorite. And I’m a sucker for a peppermint hot chocolate when it’s cold out. I only get really super specific when it comes to cocktails, which I rarely have anyway, because I'm particular about flavors, amount of alcohol, and I prefer something sweet that’s easy to sip. That shit's expensive, so I might as well invest in something I actually enjoy drinking, y'know?

I don’t know if my music taste is good but I assume it’s probably not haha. I mostly listen to music when I’m writing, a topic I go in a little more depth in this post. The kind of stuff I listen to for focus. But casual listening like when I’m doing chores or working out or something, I lean heavy in classic rock and indie bands (think the Strokes, Fleetwood Mac, Radiohead, etc.). My friends have introduced me to a lot of great music since I went to college, mostly newer soft rock or indie alternative stuff I probably never would have looked into like Peach Pit or Mitski. Not very into music with super high energy or intense volume - so generally not pop, heavy metal, techno, etc. I’m pretty chill, my music taste reflects that I think? I do not consider myself very musically literate, but I know what I like.

The last one is absolutely correct, I get the most random topics that pop up in my head. When my roommates and I were in dorms (before we got an apartment and finally had our own rooms), three of us were piled into one tiny room with a bunk bed and a loft. I used to just throw out random topics all the time in the middle of the night and we’d go on for hours with the twinkle lights and chill music in the background. Stuff as big as artificial intelligence (which terrifies me to my core) to favorite obscure movies or the origins of certain words to friendship ending debates about the best Mario Kart avatar - it's Toad btw, fight me. I think part of it is having a writer’s brain, I get curious about so many different topics or plots or world altering ideas. I think it annoys them sometimes but they almost always humor me lol! I’m lucky to have them :) I’m generally a pretty quiet person, but if you let me go on a rant, it could last hours!

Thank you so much, I hope you’re doing well too!

Send in your assumptions! :)

#anonymous assumptions #let's chat #these are fun :)

0 notes

spaceorphan18 · 6 years

Text

Finding Kurt Hummel: New New York

Masterpost

5x14: New New York

Ah, we’ve finally reached it - the beloved New York arc, and my personal favorite episode of the show. I realize it’s taken me forever to get back to this - but these episodes are going to take some time to do, there’s just so much Kurt! Yay!!

I think the show did something smart by narrowing the cast down. One of the reasons the NYArc works so well is that there are really only six-ish characters, and the story lines are once again allowed to breathe and everyone gets equal focus. It’s such the ideal - I’m already sad that this only for a limited time.

Downtown

We open with the song Downtown - which works as an introduction to the New York arc. Here we are - New York! And it’s a nice set piece to reorient the show in it’s new location. (Funny - this song has always reminded me of the opening of Lost’s Third Season - but that’s commentary for another day.)

Anyway - after a year and a half, Kurt finally gets to sing his way out of the subway like everyone else. This song kind of makes New York seem idyllic and peaceful, which is a misnomer because we all know shit is gonna go down soon - but for now, enjoy the pretty sights downtown because it’ll give you a nice (false) sense of security. And I like how Kurt swings himself around the lamp post - just like the old school musicals, taking everything in as he sings.

It’s been 84,000 years - but Blaine has finally made it to New York as well!! And now that they’ve been there for six-ish months (c’mon - it would have been nice to see some of that honeymoon stage, but whatever...) they’ve seem to have a nice routine going. I’m sure this is their usual coffee shop - and oh, look, Kurt’s reading an actual newspaper. It’s like it’s the olden times. Except, in olden times, Kurt and Blaine wouldn’t really be able to walk around freely as fiances.

Ah, look at how cute these two goobers are singing about how lovely life is. Do you guys remember when this was being filmed, and if you turn the camera around - there were about a million fans watching? Ah man.

Also, that’s Washington Park. I once decided to sit and read a book there. Until two women decided they needed to beat the shit out of each other while their boyfriends watched. Kinda felt like that was my cue to leave. Oh New York - you are a lovely city, but not as idyllic as Glee would have you believe.

The boys meet up with Artie and Sam - which I’m sure happens on a regular basis, too. Rachel pulls up in her towncar - and I kind of love the look on Kurt’s face. Everyone else is happy to see Rachel - and Kurt’s, like, wtf are you riding in. Yeah - he and Blaine might have their ups and downs in this episode, but Kurt is completely unimpressed with Rachel throughout this entire episode, lol.

So... this is what cracks me up. Kurt is all eye roll-y at Rachel about the car - and about the fact that Rachel decided to move back into the loft, but didn’t lift a finger to help (god...). But when she offers them a ride, both he and Blaine are like - um, yup, we’re going with Rachel - which is kind of rude to Artie (and Sam) who are stuck walking to the restaurant that they’re all going to.

And this is where I take a moment to say that NYC is hard -- it’s not easy on the poor (Sam) or the disabled (Artie), and at least the show takes a second to show that. And as an aside, I’m glad they take some time to develop Sam as someone who prefers the country. As much as NYC is built up, it’s nice to show that it’s not for everyone - and there’s nothing wrong with you if you /don’t/ want to live in the city.

Domesticity

Ah, and here we get a small snapshot of their world while living together. I mean, I couldn’t sleep with Blaine literally on top of me, but the shot is gorgeous and it’s a shame that we didn’t get to see more than these tiny little moments. But at least we can look at this, and this sequence, and piece together what eventually their real life will be together. For now, however, there’s a lot of “playing house” as Blaine preps breakfast for the hundredth time since he’s moved in.

Interestingly, this the morning after the bed bug stuff - so I’m assuming Blaine is making breakfast not only because that’s his thing since he’s moved to New York, but also a way of an apology, too. Kurt insists that he doesn’t - I’m sure a kid who’s used to doing things on his own for a long, long time really wouldn’t get used to this kind of attention, but it’s easy to give in when everything is ready to go for you.

As they have their breakfast, Blaine catches us up on the past few months - Blaine has moved into the loft, and has spending every second of every day with Kurt - just soaking in all the Kurt. And as much as Kurt probably loves being with Blaine all the time, too -- I mean look how hot Blaine looks in this scene (!!) spending every second of every day with someone can be, well, stifling -- not matter how much you love them. And this is what the entire episode is going to be about...

Kurt mentions they’re turned into an old married couple already - and in a way they have, but I think what Kurt’s more so wanting to express is the fact that they’ve been joined at the hip since Blaine got to New York. And as much as he had wanted it back when he was in high school (see: The Purple Piano Project) the reality of that - especially for someone like Kurt who needs his space and alone time - is that it’s not the greatest thing in practice. Blaine, however, trying so hard to hold onto Kurt - is ignoring the signs of Kurt’s discomfort - and thus we have Blaine singing, ironically, You Make Me Feel So Young.

youtube

This song is nearly impossible to still - so here, have the entire song.

I know when this first aired, there were some criticisms that Kurt wasn’t all into it -- but I don’t really agree at all? At first, when Blaine gets clingy - Kurt’s a little hesitant, because that boy needs some space. And that’s one of the things the boys need to learn about each other - that Blaine needs reassurance that he’s loved, so he reaches out to the point of suffocation, but Kurt needs space - and when he’s able to get that, he can return affection to Blaine easily, but when he doesn’t he tries to distance himself and it’s a vicious cycle of misunderstanding. Really - they just need to talk with each other - and not sing duets. But! That’s what this New York arc is all about.

But - as the song goes, Kurt is delightfully happy, dancing around with Blaine, doing domestic-y things like making the bed, brushing teeth, picking out Blaine’s wardrobe. It’s all those things that Burt mentioned in Love, Love, Love - but like Burt said, it’s not all about that - it’s about finding a balance with your partner, and our boys are still learning that.

The song is almost perfect for their situation right now -- Blaine says that Kurt makes him feel so young. But they’re already young! They shouldn’t need to express that! But doubly so - they’re just about to come out of the honeymoon stage of living together. Being in a relationship is not just sunshine and roses and great days - but hard work. Again - this is what they’re learning in this arc (and season 6.)

Meanwhile, as a duet, I think they sound great here - it is a nice balance of their voices. And it’s fun and flirty and works really well with the both of them.

Meanwhile, after they’re finished up their shopping trip Kurt’s all ready to jump Blaine on the couch. That is until Sam stops them cause he’s back from running and is going to take a shower and be all up in their space. And Kurt looks like he’s going to murder someone. Cause unlike Tina’s fantasy - the real Kurt will cut a bitch if you interrupt sexy times.

Here’s the thing, though - if Blaine needs verbal emotional reassurance - Kurt needs it in a physical sense. And you know what Kurt’s probably not been getting a lot of since Blaine’s moved in? Sex. Look - the boy who was once told that no one would ever want to touch him gets off a lot on being touched. And, on top of that, Burt was right, once you start - you’re not gonna stop. If I had to guess - not only does Kurt use sex as a way to connect and reconnect with Blaine, but he also uses it as a stress relief. And his life, right now, is jumbled up with a ton of people and a ton of stresses and god dammit - can’t he just have this one thing? Nope --

So it’s no surprise that Kurt gets huffy - and yells at Blaine that there are too many people in the house - and that ideally, Sam has got to go. His anger is more than just about Sam, but it’s currently the easiest target. Ah, poor, resigned Blaine, who probably really would have liked to have sex just then, too.

Trapped in a Box

First of all, I wanna say -- Hi Will! - I see you! Season 5 has a lot of cast family members showing up - Chris’s boyfriend, Lea’s dad, Darren’s parents! It’s like - hey end of the show is coming up, gotta get everyone in now! I am still a little sad Mia never made it in. Anyway, on to the show...

It must be, like, first day back for winter semester - and Blaine’s managed to get himself in 6 out of 8 of Kurt’s classes - including Mime Class. I mean, this scene is totally played up for comedy, which really works - especially a lot of the physical comedy. But - of course - there’s something deeper going on, too. Because it’s all about that being trapped in a box metaphor.

The thing is though - Blaine directly asks Kurt if he’s the one who’s doing the suffocating. And Kurt says no. Why? Maybe cause he doesn’t want to hurt Blaine’s feelings? Maybe cause he doesn’t want to admit that his perfect life with Blaine isn’t working? Maybe cause he’s placing all his issues on Sam? That’s the thing though - Kurt needs to be honest about himself and his needs and when he figures it out - he can communicate it to Blaine truthfully. Oh boys, you’ve got a ways to go. In the meantime, Blaine’s getting physically up in his space and Kurt’s about done.

Also, interestingly, when Kurt asks if Sam is on his way out, he also mentions that they haven’t had a moment to themselves, which I believe has double meaning. First the obvious undertones of - /I/ haven’t a moment to myself in this crazy loft. But secondly, goes back to the fact that with all the time he and Blaine have been spending together - they haven’t had the chance to be as intimate as Kurt would probably like either.

So - later that day (and it is the same day since Kurt is wearing the same clothes he had on in the earlier scene) - he’s trying to help Artie with the whole being mugged thing. But then Blaine is busy with the soda machine and Rachel is all caught up in her own drama.

I kind of love the bubble machine moment - because this is truly a married couple moment. Sometimes, your partner is going to be annoying - especially when they get obsessed with something as stupid as bubbles and soda machines. You love them anyway, but dear god - if Kurt has to hear that bubble thing one more time... I love it, they are adorable.

Oh kid, I feel ya - I really do!

See, it’s not just Blaine, it’s really not. It is partially the fact that Sam has been living on the couch. The fact that Artie’s life is in disarray and there isn’t much do to fix the situation. The fact that Rachel is a high maintenance mess. The fact that he got mostly no sleep the previous night because bed bugs. And let’s face it - when was the last time Kurt got properly laid. And let’s not forget Kurt is an only child who is used to being in control of his life. All these variables are damn stressful. To top it all off - they’re in a loft, where there is no second room he can go to and slam the door. It’s really pretty amazing that Kurt didn’t snap right here.

Be a Rockstar

So, later in the evening, probably as a chance to get away - Kurt’s hanging out with Elliott. Elliott’s all band talk - but Kurt’s got other things on his mind. He hasn’t slept at all. Elliott ribs him about it being sexy times, and Kurt wishes, but no, it’s not that. And then we go into the tale about Kurt’s furniture being uncomfortable so Blaine tries to find something new, only it has bed bugs and their evening is spent disinfecting the apartment.

And Elliott’s just kind of amused. Because this is what living in the city is like. It’s not all perfect and roses and rainbows and happiness. Sometimes it sucks. I’m glad that the show is finally taking a moment to show that NYC isn’t as perfect as it seems (even if they continue with the improbable plots.)

Meanwhile, Kurt thinks the couch is an omen for his relationship with Blaine - nice on the outside but riddled with bedbugs on the inside. And Elliott again, is amused, cause unlike any other character on this show, other than Burt, he gets it. Kurt and Blaine’s relationship is not doomed because the shine has worn off. They just need to talk to each other, and set boundaries, and understand that they’re individual people, and talk to each other.

This is why I love Elliott - and wish he was around, especially to knock some sense into Kurt during season 6. I also think it’s a nice moment when Elliott says that what Kurt and Blaine have is real and that he’s super jealous of it. It’s unfortunate that we don’t always get to see further exploration of their full relationship, especially more happier moments between the two of them. But Elliott’s been around them now for months - and has had to hear Kurt talk about Blaine for months (as he tells Blaine, Kurt won’t shut up about him). And Kurt’s a bit comforted and smiles when Elliott says it. Cause he really doesn’t want his relationship to fail. He’s just struggling.

And Elliott lays it out straight -- talk to your boyfriend Kurt!!

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Meanwhile, Elliott reminds Kurt to not forget about his band that will be pretty much forgotten after this episode.

The song, however, is Rockstar and absolutely delightful even if I really can’t find any good connection to Kurt’s story. But Kurt gets to relax a bit as Adam Lambert graces us with his Rock Star Quality one last time.

Ah man - I’m really going to miss him.

Calm Down, Psycho

Oh - demon!Kurt - scary.

So, clearly, Kurt didn’t take Elliott’s advice and go home and talk to Blaine. Cause this is the evening of the next day (?) the time line is still kinda screwy. But they’re wearing different clothes. Anyway - Kurt’s had a long day, and comes home to Blaine having moved all the furniture around so he can feel more at home in the loft.

Btw - this whole argument makes me wonder if during the initial set up, Rachel just let Kurt do all the designing.

Anyway - this is what happens when you don’t talk about issues - the bubble over and you start yelling at each other. Granted - most of the time in real life, they aren’t this funny (cause let’s face it, Glee’s still a comedy, and this argument is pretty funny).

So - what can we learn from this argument? Well - Kurt is clearly having boundary issues and not talking to Blaine about them -- bottling up your feelings is not good. But, he’s also wanting to be too much in control, and not realizing that Blaine is another person that is allowed to have his own personal space. Compromise and sharing is still a thing Kurt needs to learn.

Meanwhile, Blaine is just as bad at communication - and so worried about things falling apart with Kurt that he’s illogically blaming his issues on the presence of Elliott. Kurt is clearly confused why Elliott is an issue, but Blaine’s would rather blame an external issue than realize there’s an internal one.

The nice thing is that they’re both at fault for not talking to the other one about the issues of living in the loft together.

As an aside - I kinda cracked up when Blaine mentions that god knows what their roommates hear from them -- there are more sex references in this episode than I realized.

Anyway - Blaine storms out -- and this is the thing that has me curious. When he goes to see Elliott, and in their talk with each other, both Kurt and Blaine have changed outfits. So... just how long was Blaine gone? At least a night has passed? If so - that means when Kurt’s waiting for Blaine, there’s a layer of worry on top of it cause it’s not something they fixed that night - some time has passed.

Also - shoutout to the Sage Glitter Rock Vampire that is Elliott. And Elliott not only knows how to calm Blaine down, but he reassures him that Kurt loves him dearly, and basically gives Blaine the same advice in that you need a) space and b) to talk to each other.

(Btw - I know the scene is only Elliott and Blaine - but it’s hilarious and I needed to mention it. But also, clearly Sam, Rachel, and Artie are not big on friend duties cause Kurt and Blaine are relying on Elliott to help them out. I’m not surprised they have communication issues, cause they don’t really have any good role models either.)

The Talk

So, I’m guessing that it’s been a good 24 hours since they’re fight - and Kurt’s now had plenty of alone time to sit and think about life and his relationship. And when Blaine comes home, Kurt’s not really angry - but he’s worried. Cause relationships, he thought, weren’t supposed to be hard, and this is. But additionally - Blaine’s been gone a long time. And this is the moment where I remind my audience just how much Kurt loves Blaine - cause Kurt’s worried just about /Blaine/ being okay, too. So, there’s a little relief when he returns, but more anxiety because that means they have to face this big thing together.

I like, also, before they really get into the heart of their talk that Blaine mentions that Elliott’s a good friend. Not only does Kurt say that yes - he’s one of the only friends he’s got in New York (cause let’s face it - were Rachel and Santana ever being good friends? Not really) but also gets that whole aspect out of the way. Their issues and their fight are not about third parties - they really never are. It’s about their own dynamics and their own issues.

Blaine sits down and says the one thing that Kurt had been avoiding thinking about - even if it was in the back of his mind. That their current living situation isn’t working. And, god, does that hurt Kurt to even admit that - cause he, as well as Blaine, wanted so badly for this to be their happily ever after.

But the thing is - Blaine’s right -- this whole loft situation is not the ideal first living situation to be in. And he’s also right that they jumped into things without discussing them first. They were so excited to just be together in New York that they didn’t plan anything, or address that there might be issues going forward.

Now, do I agree that Blaine moving out is the best choice? No, not really - as Kurt says, it is like a step backwards - but narratively, they wanted Blaine with Sam and Mercedes and they didn’t want to break up Rachel and Kurt for reasons I don’t fully understand. Ideally - I’d have gotten the two of them their own place with walls and doors and a place where they could figure their shit out on their own. But -- you know, Glee wasn’t about to let Klaine have their own separate apartment, so...

I’d also like to mention that Kurt isn’t really thrilled with Blaine’s idea. He doesn’t want Blaine to leave, but he recognizes that something has to change. Unfortunately, they’re still young and growing and don’t have the tools or experience to figure out how to fix what’s wrong. So - in a way, I get this solution. Blaine doesn’t know how to give Kurt emotional space - so let’s try physical instead.

The thing I like about this scene is that while they’re faced with making a decision that neither of them really wants to make - they are here sitting about it and talking about it. And the decision is made together. And - they reassure how important they are to each other. No one says ‘I love you’ in this scene. But it’s underscored in promise they make to each other. But Blaine reaffirms that they’re together and they’re going to stay that way. While Kurt reassures Blaine that their relationship is very precious to him, and that they’ll always belong together.

This scene kinda sucks in the change of status quo for them (again - for story purposes - fine whatever Glee, don’t let the engaged couple live together). But it’s very sweet and heart felt and really shows the connection they do have when they actually sit down to talk to one another -- which they really be doing more often. (Cause they’re going to not talk again - which leads to issues further on.)

And finally, they reconnect in a way that they are used to connecting...

It’s funny that Kurt claims that this really wasn’t an argument - just two adults discussing things, and maybe this conversation was - but you guys have a while before I count you as full on adults. A few more growing pain in there. But for now - the band-aid works, and lesson one of many has been learned.

I kinda love how Kurt just melts under Blaine’s touch. Yeah, you go get that hot make-up sex, Kurt ;)

Changes

So, after Artie’s tale of how he took charge in his life - Kurt and Blaine explain that Blaine is going to move out! And everyone is rightfully shocked at that. Keep in mind, guys, just because Blaine “moves out” doesn’t really mean he’s going anywhere - since we’ll see him in the loft all the time in Kurt’s room, lol.

Kurt claims that it’s a chance for Blaine to form his own New York identity. Well -- that’s what Kurt did, but they’re different people, and I don’t think it works the same way for Blaine, even if I do agree with what Kurt says - that Blaine needs to know who he is as person not glued to Kurt’s hip. And what he doesn’t say is that Kurt is the one who needs to have some space every once in a while. Whatever - I don’t think anyone but us fans cares about the details.

And then Mercedes arrives solving all of Blaine (and Sam)’s housing issues ;)

So - they’re now at the townhouse helping Mercedes move in. And you know what - Kurt is far more done with Rachel in this episode than he ever is with Blaine. God, she’s getting irritating, and Kurt is not afraid of thinking it.

I’m guessing after they’ve got Mercedes moved in, Kurt and Blaine go walk around town - just themselves, hand in hand, being cute and buying flowers for each other. And I like that they get this moment of just sweet couple-ness -- not only as a gay couple, but as just a couple who do enjoy spending time with each other and being with each other when they’ve at least worked through some of their shit. It’s a quiet but lovely couple of little moments. And yes, I would have liked more of them throughout his arc - but at least we got a few.

And of course their new tradition of Monday Night dinners start - and Kurt’s happy, and everyone’s happy, and this would have made a great pilot for a new spin-off show, and it’s tragic that it’s not. Ah well... Hello New York Arc! How I loved you, even if you were cut too short. :D

#finding kh #kurt hummel

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mistyrayburn · 6 years

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Following my heart lands me in some really awesome places!

I tend to go with where my heart pulls me in life. I’m a very heart driven person. If I fall out of love with anything, I move on. I try my hardest of course to re-love first. That probably sounds silly but I always want that chance to reconnect with something I love. I’ve fallen out of love with photography many times but it wasn’t the art I fell out of love with. Generally people made me hate it. So by reconnecting with the art, I direct my disappointment towards what really deserves it.

Finding places to place my thoughts are just as much of a whirlwind. I had a live journal in high school. I had a website for a while. I may go back to doing that again. There’s FB where I post everything too but I didn’t feel like writing a note. FB I’m trying to make mostly for CITP stuff and hey friends look I’m hanging out with my cats and eating all the wrong foods! Ya know the normal I’m human look at me BS we’ve come accustomed to for attention seeking purposes.

Who doesn’t like attention?

So I figured this should go on tumblr and maybe I’ll move it later to wherever my next whim takes me. Because this blog to me is pretty important and I’m taking my time to find the right words and perhaps photos to go with it.

They’re all on my phone..great! I’ll add them later. ( Photos added )

So in 2015 I was in a wheelchair. There aren’t many pics of me like that because I hated it. I hated it so much. My cousin snuck a picture though and I keep that one nearby always to remember where I’ve been. I posted it on instagram yesterday. The reason for me being in that wheelchair is because my spine is falling apart. I just say that to keep things short but for those of you really wondering, I have no lordosis in my spine. It’s ram rod straight. This causes me to lean forward a bit and not totally be able to stand up straight. A lot of people don’t notice this because people with no lordosis bend their knees to compensate. I wear really baggy jeans..you won’t notice me bending my knees either LOL. I also have degenerative disc disease way worse than someone my age should have. Add to that the fact that every disc in my lower spine is either bulging or herniated and when they do herniate they have nowhere to go because my spinal canal is too small... I have a whole bunch of fun problems already! 9 times out of 10 I’m in some level of pain.

During my time in the wheelchair though I worked with Thurber House covering book events for my book blog. It was something to get me out of the house and make me quit feeling sorry for myself. That ended up extending to visits to The Book Loft, especially after meeting their marketing guy on a random trip up there. This is where my blog actually begins..so I guess I could put /intro here.

The Book Loft was a huge part of my fight to get out of that wheelchair. The building is old and therefore not accessible. When I visited I HAD to get out of the wheelchair. I used a walker and sometimes my cane. I was still restricted to the lower floors in spite of that but the staff was helpful and always got me the books I needed. Thusly friendships were forged and I was a happy camper :) It was one of these trips that I slipped and fell across the street because I was stupid and thought I could get out of the truck and get up the little uphill slope to get to the sidewalk in the rain. My cane slipped out from under me and down I went. Mom said it was the most graceful fall ever... tell that to my herniated L5 disc and the doctors who were seriously worried because the L5 was squeezing a set of serious nerves called the Cauda Equina.. here’s a little bit of info for ya!

Cauda equina syndrome is a rare disorder that usually is a surgical emergency. In patients with cauda equina syndrome, something compresses on the spinal nerve roots. You may need fast treatment to prevent lasting damage leading to incontinence and possibly permanent paralysis of the legs.CES affects a bundle of nerve roots called cauda equina (Latin for horse's tail). These nerves are located at the lower end of the spinal cord in the lumbosacral spine. They send and receive messages to and from your legs, feet, and pelvic organs.

The fall caused me to lose the ability to lift my left foot. Docs were freaking out and pushing me towards surgery and I was fighting them left and right. I wanted physical therapy. Especially after they told me through an EMG I only have 10 percent nerve function in my spine. I had dealt with foot drop before and beat it. This time I wasn’t so lucky. I did get my wish for physical therapy and a nice little note in my file. Thanks doc..I was still right! :-p I AM WALKING.. You don’t know everything!!!

Even with my cane and my walker I was still limited to where I could go at The Book Loft. Little less limited when I got my brace for my foot and could use my cane and it. But I was still afraid to go up that second set of stairs up to the loft or downstairs. This sucked because upstairs was non fiction and sci fi fantasy and downstairs was YA!!!! Still I explored where I could, and as my condition improved, so did my ability to explore!

Places I could explore:

stairs up to the loft, lower west wing and the courtyard

There was one place I still could not visit there though and today while I was kinda in my own head and visiting with no intent to buy anything I decided to see if I could now. I looked over at my mom and I’m like I’m going there. She told me to be careful but I was able to climb those three stairs with no rail ( nothing scares me more than no rail ) and there I was in the biography section! There was self help up there and history and math ( eek ). A section for cats and dogs too! I was so happy exploring and low and behold The ENTIRE Book Loft was free roam for me! All 32 rooms! i can find the secret spot that I can’t remember where it is! Huge stepping stone and for me a great victory.

Stairs leading to the biography section and the other wing.

But that kinds sums up my life. Beating the odds from day one by being ungodly stubborn and tenacious. Medical odds, blood clots and rotten spine be damned.

Will anyone read this? Who knows. But it felt good to throw it out there. I am proud :)

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