#but it looked illegible when I tried to explain it without just including a link

[serendipityjxmn]

Mr. President

Chapter 21

TW: None

Words Count: 4.3k

Link to Masterlist

Link to Chapter 22

You wake up feeling sore all over your body. From top to bottom- it just feels painful. Even opening your eyes seems like a difficult task. But you somehow did.

It takes a while for you to adjust your vision although it is very dim in the room. The next thing you notice is cold fingers wrapped against yours when you try to move yours. That’s when you tilt your head very slightly and glance down to see your husband fast asleep, his free hand beneath his head as a pillow.

You want to call out to him but realize you don’t have a voice. So you result to moving your fingers several times to wake him up.

His eyebrows gather in a frown before he finally opens his eyes. When he lifts his gaze to look at you, he blinks several times.

“Y/N…?” He asks, as if unsure whether you’re really awake. Then he blinks again rapidly before leaning forward and caressing your cheeks with his fingers. “Oh God, oh God you’re really awake.”

You could almost swear that his eyes glisten a little. “You’re fine.. you’re fine..” he says repetitively as his fingers gently squeeze yours.

“W.. water..” you manage to choke out.

Jimin lifts himself immediately and quickly fetches a glass of water. You try to sit up but ends up letting out a whimper when jarring pain shoots across your shoulder.

“No, wait..” he reaches forward like he’s going to embrace you and it’s embarrassing how you feel your heartbeat starts to pick up quickly. He helps you sit up gently and arranges the pillow behind your back for you to lean back comfortably. Then he helps you to drink from your glass.

You let out a long breath once you’re finally done and your throat doesn’t burn so much. You look at your husband and he just shifts uncomfortably.

“You’re so pale.” He says and watch your face registers surprise.

“How- how long have I been out?”

“Almost a week.” He says with a clench in his jaw. Then he reaches forward again, fingers reaching up to lightly push several strands of hair behind your ear. His face is so near and your heart starts beating wildly against your ribs before suddenly the image of him carving your brother’s face and shooting him without mercy comes into your mind. Almost automatically, you jerk away from him. The whole thing had been so traumatising and you’re still very terrified of him.

He flinches when he sees you pull away from his touch like a burn. His expression hard. Then he sighs and pulls back from touching you.

Unconsciously, you pull your blanket tighter. “W-what happened to me?”

He hesitates before answering. “Someone tried to shoot me but missed and the bullet hit you instead. It grazed your shoulder.”

You touch your bandaged shoulder mindlessly. All images of the night in the warehouse then comes hitting you like a truck and suddenly it’s all too overwhelming. Your fingers grip your blanket a little too harshly. “Y- you didn’t have to kill him.” You say softly.

His expression turns furious instantly. “I did. Fullstop. And if it were to happen again, I’d do it all over again.”

You flinch at his words.

“Fuck. I’m- I’m sorry, I- I can’t let him go. Not after what he did to you.” He says softly.

You swallow thickly.

“I.. thank you for saving me..”

He lets out a sigh. “I.. just couldn’t bear the thought of you.. lying there.. you really scared me back there.”

Your gaze softens. “That’s what you do for love. Get hurt for them.. Instead of them.” The words are out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

He looks at you in horror and you bite your lip while muttering sorry.

“No that’s not it… I..” he sigh. You watch his pained expression as he carefully chooses his words. “When we were back there.. and when those bastards touch you.. I was in rage. I.. I wanna tear them apart, limb to limb.”

“You care for me.” You say quietly. You know for a fact that he does. In his own twisted way.

He looks straight at you. “I do.”

For the first time since you wake up, you feel like crying.

“Y/N.” He calls. His expression serious and you find yourself immersed in his piercing stare. You swallow as you look at him expectantly. “Let’s.. start over. Do you want to.. start over.. with me?” He asks and it’s the first time you’ve seen him look so unsure of himself.

You continue to stare at him. A thousand words crossing through your mind but none comes out of your lips.

He swallows. “I.. I care about you. A lot. And I don’t know if this feeling is love or.. not.. but I’m gonna try.. for us.”

Is it weird that you just somehow know Jimin cares for you before he even says it out loud? It’s a foreign feeling for him but you know it better.

But for now, it’s good enough. It’s all that you could ever want. For him to open up and let you in.

Because you want to fill him with warmth and embrace every part of him.

You feel a tear dropping.

“So.. what do you say?”

And suddenly your tears turn into sobs as you frantically nod. His eyes glisten when he sees you breaking into tears and he instinctively leans forward, pulling you gently into a hug. His lips find your forehead and he kisses it tenderly.

“I’m so sorry for everything..” he says softly.

And for a long moment, he just lets you cry on his shoulders.

The doctor comes to check up on you, explains to you of all the side effects you might be having, gives plenty of lectures to your husband and you find it funny how he just sit through it like an adolescent child being told off. Later that evening, you sit in silence as you watch your husband brings you a tray of chicken porridge. You’ve fallen asleep after crying so hard and only wakes up now with your stomach grumbling.

Jimin feeds you the porridge and brings you water every now and then and you just sit in silence as you study his face.

It’s very weird to have him tending to you like this. Like he didn’t just make a killing spree which includes your own brother and the memory makes you recoil. You try to take the spoon saying you’ll feed yourself only to earn a glare from your husband.

When you’re done, he cleans it up and comes back to sit on the chair beside your bed. His fingers find you immediately and you find it weird how it feels so right and natural against yours when in fact you didn’t have much memory of holding his hands.

Unconsciously, your fingers reach to your neck to find your ring and you feel your heart dropping when you realize it’s not there. Jimin sees the look of panic in your face.

“What’s wrong?”

“My- my necklace. Oh my god, my ring-”

His shoulders visibly relax. “Ssh.. relax. It’s in a safe place.” He squeezes your fingers.

And that’s when you notice he doesn’t wear his as well and your look of terror reappear in a speed of light. He’s always worn his ring and you wonder if something went wrong. “Jimin you- you‘re not wearing your ring too oh God- oh God we’re- we’re still married right? Y-you didn’t divorce me or something right??” You ask frantically in utter panic.

He just chuckles. “Relax Y/N.. shh.. I was gonna wait till you’re better but at this rate I think you might die from heart attack. Of course we’re still married, you idiot. I.. I just thought that the rings.. is like the worse part of our marriage.. and they’re all just bad memories for you.. and I want to make it all better for you, so I plan to get new ones and wanted to keep it a secret.. but I guess it’s no longer a secret.” He grins.

You swallow as your fingers play with his, tracing the slight mark left by the ring on his fourth finger. “I… I like the rings.. it means you’re taken..”

He grins even wickedly. “Don’t worry. No one has come for my hand in marriage in the span of two days I don’t wear my ring.” He winks.

He freaking winks.

You blush crazily.

Silence settles again between the two of you before you speak up.

“I.. thought you didn’t care about me..” you say quietly.

“Is that why you went out without security??” He bursts out.

You slowly nod.

“Do you know how fucking stupid that is?” He snaps and you flinch. “Damn it, if you’d just told me.. I would’ve.. given you time.. or space from me or whatever you want. But you decided to escape security, pack your bags and leaves a stupid fucking note saying you’re sorry without any sort of explanation and then just disappears. Did you have a death wish or something??”

You blanch at his words and looks down immediately. It’s not even two hours before he says he’s trying to fix ‘us’ yet he’s here scolding you like you’re a child. “I’m sorry..”

He shuts his eyes for a moment and when they reopen he looks at you softly. “Fuck, I’m sorry for yelling too.”

You swallow bitterly. “I.. Jimin.. if we’re going to do this.. I just want you to know that I can’t share you.. I mean- I won’t.”

He stills for a few moments, just processing your words. Perhaps wondering where this is all coming from. Then he rolls his eyes. “Baby, I just talked about us.”

His term of endearment make your heart skips a beat but you still couldn’t shake the thought that has been haunting your mind. “What about Clara Kim?”

To his credit, he bursts out laughing. “You’re in a coma for almost a week and yet you still can’t forget about her huh?” He says, wiping a nonexistent tear of mirth from his eyes.

You still stare back at him, looking serious.

He realizes you aren’t laughing and just smiles as he takes your hand, wrapping it gently. “No, I’m not hooking up with her. I mean, long time ago yes,” you narrow your eyes, “sorry- but not anymore. I’ve been faithful since I married you. I didn’t sleep with her or anyone for that matter.”

You couldn’t stop the butterflies in your stomach but you still wouldn’t let it go. “Then who’s she?”

“She’s just one of the dealer in my illegal business. You.. don’t wanna know the details they’re.. dangerous.” He gives a plastic smile. “But she’s out now. I cut all sorts of business with her and she’s gone missing too.”

“Missing?”

His jaw tightens. “Because she knows I’d cut her alive if I find her.”

You blanch. Your husband really likes.. cutting people.. a lot.

“I- fuck, damn it. I’m sorry. You should probably rest before I make it worse.” He smiles apologetically.

You take a deep breath, not ready to let it go just yet.

“I- I’ve seen you.. and her in the office.”

“Oh she can be tempting.” He smirks. “Particularly when I don’t agree with her on certain things. But no- I told you I never touch anyone after I married you.”

O.. kay. You can live with that.

“I’ve said horrible things to you..” He starts.

“You did.” You respond almost immediately. All memories of him throwing words like you’re nothing to him comes flashing.

He bit back his words and perhaps wants to defend himself but thinks better of it. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Why.. why didn’t you leave me..? Even when I was so mean to you..”

You just give him a soft smile before reaching to touch his hand. “You told me before.. that I would leave this marriage if I know the reason behind it.. but I know you.. I don’t know why but it just felt like I know you, not the outer appearance you put on. But you on the inside, the beautiful and kind and the attentive man I fell for. You’ve always shut people out.. including me as well.. but I just.. I just want to show you that there are people who cares for you.. that I’m never gonna leave no matter what. Because.. I love you..”

The look he gives you when you utter those words makes you wonder if his heart is skipping a beat too. He smiles at you fondly. “So what do you say?” He suddenly asks.

“Hm?”

He brings your hand to his lips and then he kisses your knuckles. “Say yes..? To this new journey with me..?”

You want to say yes. You really want to.

But there’s something heavy in your heart and it’s something that you just can’t shake off immediately. “I.. I don’t know..” you say after a while, giving up on finding the right words. “You still scare me.. a lot..”

“I understand.” He says quietly.

“Can we.. can we take it slow..?”

He looks at you for a moment and then smiles softly as he nods. “Okay. I’m not gonna rush you into anything.”

You nod as well. “Thank you.. and I’m sorry..”

He quickly shakes his head. “Don’t be.” Is all he says.

For the next few weeks, Jimin takes care of you at the hospital. It’s awkward and you feel it and you know he feels it too. It’s the way your eyes would meet when he hands you something because it isn’t something he usually do. He never does that- he never takes care of anyone, period.

It also doesn’t help how your heart races every time he comes near. Intentionally or unintentionally. And you think for the most part Jimin does things intentionally just to see you all flustered and flushed crimson.

For example, today- is one of the days you wish Jimin is the cold guy you know and not this- flirty Jimin. He walks out of the bathroom, freshly showered. He’d been practically living at the hospital with you, and it’s comfortable enough since he’d so conveniently transferred you to VIP suite room and the room is almost as big as the one you shared with him at home with a King sized bed which he could sleep into with you but he insists to sleep on the massage chair beside the bed or sometimes the couch at the near end of the room because he’s scared he might accidentally hurt you as well as personal bathroom, mini fridge and a small closet.

You gulp and silently curses your rapid pulse because your husband’s not even naked for you to react this way.

He’s just half naked.

He walks out with only his pyjama bottom, his hair still wet from the shower and you feel like salivating over his toned body. His back is vast, almost like you can lay a canvas and draw on it without a problem, and it comes down into a very muscled structure, and on each side of his waist, a V line so deeply engraved looking like a sin on plate as if it’s been carved by the sex God himself. You briefly wonder what kind of exercise he has to do to make those Adonis belt.

He turns around and you look like a deer caught in headlights and you quickly look down while clearing your throat. For a fleeting second though, you think you see his smirk but it’s gone too fast.

“Are you hungry? Do you want to eat now?” He asks, face seemingly too innocent.

You suddenly don’t feel hungry anymore. Not for food, anyway. So you shake your head. “I- I’m just gonna lie down.” Or more like, calm your freaking heart down.

“You sure? You okay? Do you want me to call the doctor? It’s about time he comes anyway-“

You’re about to say no when there’s a knock on the door. And as if he’d been summoned, Doctor Lee appears in the doorway with two others behind him. Jimin lets him in immediately while he puts on his shirt. Thank God all of them are male.

“Evening, Mrs. Park.” The doctor greets you and you just smile at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.”

He eyes the device to your right as he reads your chart. “Your heartbeat seems quicker than normal. Are you feeling alright? Any dizziness or particular pain you’re experiencing?”

You’re pretty sure your face is flaming red now. Jimin looking as if he’s trying to hold his laugh, his shoulders silently vibrating.

“No, no nothing. I’m fine.” You say quickly.

“I’ve looked into your charts and your recent CT scan is fine. I’ll consult with orthopaedic specialist and if everything’s fine, you should be good to be discharged this weekend. You’re very lucky the bullet just grazed your shoulder, otherwise you might’ve caused your husband to become a widower.”

Jimin hisses upon hearing that.

“I wouldn’t say lucky.” You mutter under your breath.

“It’s not a serious wound but you still need some serious recovery. You’re not allowed to do anything heavy. You still suffer from injury around your throat. Any sorts of pain, please inform me immediately.”

You just silently nod. The doctors are about to leave when Jimin calls for Doctor Lee.

“Doctor, can I have a second?” When the doctor nods, he follows him outside. What kind of question does he have that he cannot ask in front of you? You frown.

When he comes in, he sits on the chair beside you and you look at him suspiciously.

“What did you ask the doctor?”

He just gives a sly grin. “I think you don’t wanna know.”

You narrow your eyes and is about to push him for answer when he leans so close to you, and all words slip back down your throat. Your breath hitches when he hovers like he’s about to kiss you.

“You don’t look so pale anymore.” He suddenly says.

What?

He leans backward again making you all confused. His eyes suddenly darts toward your heart rate monitor and your eyes follow his gaze.

And your worst case scenario repeats; the monitor giving away your spiking heart rate.

And your husband finds amusement in confirming the fact that he caused it.

He smiles a little too widely. “Perhaps you shouldn’t really be discharged that quickly.”

“Shut up.” You glare at him and quickly hide yourself under the blanket.

The next morning, you tell the nurse to get you off the machine. She agrees to it, much to your husband’s rolling of eyes.

While you’re in the hospital, Jimin’s group of friends also come to visit.

That morning, Jimin’s spoon-feeding you a bowl of noodle although you resisted at first, only to earn a piercing glare from your husband when there’s a rapid knock on the door. Whoever it is, or are outside doesn’t seem to mind about an invitation because a second later, they barge in with total chaos. The room is instantly filled with large bouquets of flowers and fruits basket.

“God, it smells like newlyweds all over again!” Someone shouts in the midst of all the conversations erupting at the same time.

“Y/N how are you?!” Jungkook asks and doesn’t hesitate to pull you into an embrace, making you wince a little. Jimin pulls him off you instantly.

“Careful, brat.” He glares at the younger boy.

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “Oops, sorry sorry.” He smiles apologetically at you and you just smile back kindly at him.

“How are you feeling Y/N?” Jin asks, he’s already peeling off an apple for you.

“I’m feeling okay. You don’t have to do that Jin.”

He flashes a sweet smile. “Nah, this is nothing.”

“I’m really glad you’re getting better Y/N.” Namjoon says and smiles his dimpled smile.

“Jimin was really beside himself while you’re unconscious.” Hoseok chirps in.

“Yeah, saying something like being stupid or something..” Jungkook says and everybody else laughs while your husband yells at him.

“Shut up, brat.”

Then they each starts a conversation of their own with each other. Your husband discussing some things with Taehyung.

“Did you bring the files I asked for?” Your husband says.

Taehyung nods. “I’ve asked most of them to prepare written reports but there’s some that you might still have to come to the office to look at yourself.”

Jimin just nods.

“You’re planning to work from home for long?” Taehyung asks, tone is slightly hushed, perhaps not wanting you to hear yet you can still hear them.

Jimin glances at you slightly and you quickly pretend to be so interested in Jungkook’s story who’s sitting beside you, talking animatedly.

“I have to take care of my wife.” He says quietly and your heart swells from hearing that.

“Are you.. okay now with Jimin hyung?” Jungkook suddenly asks quietly beside you, taking you off guard.

You frown slightly. You remember Jimin saying only Taehyung knows about the reality of your marriage with him.

“We all know about it now. Jimin hyung himself told us all about it while you were unconscious for days.” He says.

Jin sits on the edge of your bed and hands you a slice of apple he cut and you nod at him gratefully. “Don’t blame him. I think.. he just wants the best for you that’s why he seeks us for some advice.”

You slowly nod. “He’s.. making an effort.”

Hoseok then suddenly comes to join the conversation as well. He softly calls for your name. “And we’re sorry about having you to watch all those.. you know.. back in the warehouse.”

You flinch a little. They all seem really nice, friendly and harmless. But the fact that they are a group of mafias, has more experience of killing people than you’ll ever know makes you shudder. You don’t do well with violence.

“Yeah Jimin’s too caught up in the moment. He should’ve not let you see that.” Jin says kindly.

“Or perhaps someone should’ve covered her eyes better.” Hoseok says, side eyeing Jungkook, making him puff in irritation.

“Oh come on, that’s not fair. Blame Jimin hyung for not controlling himself. He’s the stupid one.” He complains.

“Who’s the stupid one?” Jimin asks, nearing where the conversation is coming from. He takes his seat on your left and Jungkook immediately shuts his mouth.

“So, when can you be discharged?” Hoseok asks.

“If everything’s okay, this weekend.” You smile at him.

“But you still can’t do anything heavy right? A gunshot is still a gunshot.” Jin says.

You nod.

Jungkook smirks. “Huh. No sex for Jimin hyung then.” He says and you choke on the apple you’re eating and cough too much. Everyone looks at Jungkook first then you then Jimin then anywhere else and there’s suddenly an awkward tension in the room and you hope the ground would swallow you whole at that moment.

“It’s okay. There’s plenty other ways.” Jimin says suddenly and your eyes widen. He did not just say that!

“What the fuck hyung! So gross!” Jungkook says while the others are desperately trying to hold their laugh.

You’re thankful you’re now off the heartbeat monitor because if all these happens while you’re attached to the machine.. the doctor would probably come running.

The guys bring you so much laughter but now that they had left, you feel the soreness down to your toes. It’s late evening and you just want to lie back down but you also feel dirty since you haven’t showered or change your clothes.

You’re still in sitting position, your back against the pillows and you unconsciously moan when your head hit the pillow behind, eyes shut.

You could almost drift to sleep immediately if your entire body doesn’t suddenly become alarmed when you feel a hand coming up to your rib where the hospital gown’s knot is situated. One simple act of untying the knot and you’d be naked from top to bottom because you’re completely bare on the inside.

Your hand reaches out to grip his immediately, stopping his act. He seems surprised for a moment but immediately relaxes. “You need to change clothes and bathe.”

“You.. are not going to undress me. Or bathe me.” You say in all seriousness.

He rolls his eyes. “I’ve seen more than this.” He snorts and you flush all shades of red.

You try to say no to him changing your cloths or bathing you but he’s very adamant about it and you sigh in surrender. And it’s more likely because you’re already worn out and couldn’t take off your cloth on your own.

If your naked body somehow affects him, he surely does a good job hiding it. Perhaps your pride is bruised, a little.

All he does is just gentle and tenderness as he wipes your whole body with wet towel and you almost buckle in full embarrassment. Once the whole tedious process is done, he guides you to your bed, tucking you in as his body is flush against yours. His embrace is so warm against your cold blanket and you almost shut your eyes from the warmth.

He starts to pull away once you’re tucked in bed but you grip his arm tight before he could go away, eyes already fluttered close. He seems unsure at first but then decides to just hug you till you’re sound asleep. So he lets your head fall across his chest and silently prays you don’t hear his rapid heartbeat.

You lean close to him, as if pulled by his smell. You’ve always liked his smell and it’s your most favourite smell in the world.

You thought you only said it your mind but little did you know, you muttered it under your breath and Jimin being a few centimetres away catches on it, making his lips quirk up in a fond smile. His head dips down slightly and softly presses his lips against the crown of your head.

You fall asleep in his arms like that.

A/N: Weeee hope you guys like the chapter <3 4.3k words phew- that's a bit long but uhhh not gonna apologize xD see you guys in the next chap! ;) p/s i hope yall are ready for jimin's change in behaviour hewhewhew

Buy me a coffee here!

Link to Chapter 22

Posted on 210519 9:00PM

[t4tlawlight]

YOU'RE AN AVENGER, A DEATH ANGEL. YOU KILL PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR IT, WHO DESERVE TO DIE. YOU'RE A WATCHDOG, A PROTECTOR OF THINGS DECENT. YOUR COMFORTS ARE SACRIFICED FOR EFFICIENCY -- YOU CAN'T DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE WITH PEOPLE MOANING AND CLINGING TO YOU, YOU CAN'T STRIKE WITH POSSESSIONS WEIGHING YOU DOWN. YOU HAVE A CLEAR HEAD AND NO REGRETS. YOU CAN TAKE OUT ANYONE BECAUSE YOU'RE STRIPPED DOWN AND YOU DON'T DEPEND ON OR TRUST A SOUL. YOU ARE EFFECTIVE BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE ANYBODY OR ANYTHING. YOU'RE A ONE- MAN FORCE, THE PERFECT INSTRUMENT OF DESTINY.

– "INFLAMMATORY ESSAYS 5" by Jenny Holzer

(this is a companion piece to Love and Belonging, my early drama light analysis! [LINK] i heavily recommend reading it before continuing this analysis, as i reference events and ideas explained in that post.)

in my previous analysis of drama light, i focused on the events that led him to become the man we see in the beginning of the drama: a gentle, kind man who is underachieving but still brilliant, who takes a maternal role in his household after the death of his mother. This is all crucial to understanding Light’s character in the drama and how the events leading up to him becoming Kira change in line with his altered characterization, but that analysis only barely skimmed the surface of Light’s character development throughout the drama, and especially after L’s death.

the drama fandom--including me!--is somewhat guilty of making blanket statements about drama light’s morality as opposed to his manga counterpart, that drama light is kinder and gentler in comparison to manga light. this may be true early on, but i would argue that as the series progresses, drama light willingly and deliberately throws away his love and humanity just as much--if not more!--than his manga counterpart.

to understand what i mean it’s important to compare light’s relationship with his father between the adaptations.

in the manga, light grows up idolizing his father, loving and admiring him and wanting to follow in his footsteps as a police officer. his morality that leads to him ultimately becoming Kira comes from Soichiro, as does his dissatisfaction with the world as he sees his father work himself to the bone trying to eradicate crime that seems to never end.

there’s a lot more that can be said about the nature of their relationship and about how Light desperately seeks his father’s approval, but instead of typing out an entire analysis i’ll link you to this post by tumblr user mikami [LINK], which is a very good analysis of the two of them in the manga.

conversely, in the drama Light begins much the same, but Soichiro choosing to chase a criminal instead of being by his wife’s deathbed--leaving his children to witness their mother’s passing alone--strains Light’s relationship with him. Light has much of the same morals and worldview as manga Light, but now believes that his father’s morality is more or less worthless, since he had to give up his family to pursue justice.

Light: When my mother died when I was a kid, my father was off chasing a criminal… I thought my father’s form of justice couldn’t be worth much, if he had to sacrifice even his family to see it through.

– Episode 7

however, it’s important to note that while Light is cold with his father and resents his occupation, that does not mean that Light does not still love and idolize his father. he wants his father’s love and support, and he cares as deeply for him as does his manga counterpart. in fact, drama light only becomes kira out of a desire to protect his father--after his first, accidental murder, he throws away the Death Note and tries to forget about it. however, his father is taken hostage by a criminal who intends on seeking revenge for Soichiro putting him in jail years ago, and Light is forced to retrieve the note and write the criminal’s name to protect his father.

[photo: a zoomed in shot of the Death Note. Light is writing the name “Otoharada Kuro” in Japanese. the penmanship is shaky and nearly illegible from how hard Light’s hand is trembling.]

– Episode 1

Light is literally shaking with terror as he writes the name of the man about to kill his father.

and this is not something Light does lightly--after he saves his father and it’s announced that Otoharada is dead, Light is absolutely stricken with guilt and horror for murdering two people, including the man who was about to kill his father. he saved his father’s life at the price of another, because he loves his father--and his entire family--very deeply.

it’s also worth noting a slight difference between the manga and the drama; after the mock execution, drama Soichiro admits that he believed Light could be guilty and was prepared to die. Light--who at this point has no memory of being Kira and thus completely believes himself to be wrongly accused--does not blame his father for not trusting him. Light, who desperately wants his father’s approval, does not blame him in the slightest: instead, the subject of his anger is Kira himself for putting Soichiro in this position and making Soichiro suffer.

Light: I… I hate Kira. Kira, who made you suffer this way… I hate him so much. Soichiro: Light… Light: Please catch him. I believe that you can catch Kira, Dad.

[photo: Light and Soichiro in an abandoned parking garage. the two of them are crouching beside Soichiro’s car. Soichiro is hugging Light, who weakly raises his hands to hold his father in return.]

– Episode 6

the two of them embrace and weep before collecting themselves and returning to Countermeasures.

by this point in the story, it’s obvious that both versions of Light love Soichiro very much. Light is creating his “new world” for the good of humanity but also for the people he loves the most--his family.

later, the emotional death of manga Light comes after the passing of his father, which he never wanted nor planned for. he never wanted Soichiro to be in a position to get hurt and he is never, ever the same after Soichiro's death, especially because he never gains his father’s approval for his actions as Kira--in fact, Soichiro leaves him with an outright rejection of Kira entirely.

[panel 1: a close up of Soichiro’s eye. he looks like he’s in pain. the speech bubble above his head reads, “I still have the eyes. And according to that Shinigami… Ryuk, I can’t see the lifespan of someone who owns a notebook.

panel 2: Light is standing above his father’s prone body. Matsuda stands behind him, bandages on his face and arms. Soichiro continues, “Light, you’re not Kira… I’m so glad…” Light looks shocked in response, a speech bubble above his head reading only “!” Matsuda says, “O-of course he isn’t! You were still worried about that?"]

the fact that Light can never gain that approval leads to him becoming incredibly dissatisfied and simply going through the motions--it’s what leads to him treating other people like cogs in a machine that will listen to him without any free will of their own, which is what makes him not foresee that Mikami might take action of his own accord. this is how Light gets caught in the end.

in the drama, however, Light experiences more than just his father’s rejection. Soichiro confronts Light directly about being Kira, catching him in the act. this is, of course, Light’s worst case scenario--he does virtually everything he can to lie his way out of it, to get his father back on his side, but fails. Soichiro acknowledges the fact that it was his fault that Light turned out this way, and also that he failed to notice that Light was suffering up until now--and then begs Light to turn himself in, in a scene that echoes L’s confrontation with Light from a couple of episodes prior.

when Light refuses, Soichiro begins to write his own name in the book.

Light: No way. Dad… Stop it. Dad! Stop it! Dad! Soichiro: There’s a struggle going on in your soul right now, isn’t there? That’s what it means to take someone’s life. That’s the weight of a human life. Do you understand, Light? Light: If this suffering is the real thing, I really can’t forgive criminals. I realized it, Dad. Even someone like me… There’s something even I can do to serve the world. Soichiro: How does killing people serve the world?! Light: I’ve sacrificed a lot of things, too! You of all people must understand how I feel! We’re working for the same thing. To protect the peace for everyone. With that notebook, I can create a world without crime! I’m just like you! Soichiro: You’re wrong. Open your eyes, Light. Come back, Light.

– Episode 10

with this ultimate rejection of Light’s actions, Soichiro finishes writing his name and Light allows him to do so. it isn’t as though Light couldn’t have stopped him if he really wanted to, either; on one level, turning himself into the police as Soichiro requested would have saved his father. on another, we see him rip the Death Note from Soichiro’s dying hands moments later as his father attempts to burn the book. Light is perfectly capable of saving the book and only acts when the Note is in danger, not his beloved family member.

of course, we never see manga Light exactly in this position, either, and I can’t say that I think that manga Light would have turned himself in or physically ripped the Note from Soichiro’s hands. both Lights did virtually everything they could to never be in a situation where they had to choose between the safety of their family members and being Kira, and I doubt manga Light would have done well emotionally with Soichiro outright rejecting him, his actions, and his ideology.

however, their actions and behavior immediately after Soichiro’s death is extremely telling. when manga Light is rejected by his father, who died as a result of a plan gone awry, he is completely devastated.

[photo: a panel of Light Yagami screaming over his father’s body. tears are running down his face, and he yells, “Dad! Dad! Don’t you die, damn it!”]

he sheds tears--which are rare for manga Light--and he mourns over his father’s dead body for quite some time. as i said previously, he is never the same man again after his father’s death.

drama Light sheds tears as Soichiro writes his name and is clearly upset by his passing, but his mourning period is immediately interrupted by desperation to get the Note back. he spends Soichiro’s last moments wrestling with him for the Note, and once his father collapses he takes the note, wild-eyed, and holds it to his chest protectively. in this instant, he cares more about the safety of the book than his dead parent--because he had just chosen the notebook, and being Kira, over his father.

after Soichiro’s funeral, Light thinks this:

Light [internally]: Dad really did open my eyes. If I am to become a God, sacrifices are inevitable. No matter who it is that pursues Kira, I will erase them.

– Episode 10

this is Light implicitly saying that sacrificing his family members--sacrificing Soichiro, the man he began killing in order to save--is inevitable if they oppose Kira. of course, this is very similar to the way that manga Light distances himself from Soichiro after Soichiro’s death, to save him from the hurting that it caused him.

[photo: a panel of Light Yagami’s face, zoomed in close so we can only see one eye, his nose, and most of his mouth. He is scowling, most of his eye cast in shadow, and he’s sweating and panting. He asks, “Dad? Are you talking about Soichiro Yagami?”]

of course, all of this begs the question of how drama Light--who began a sweet, gentle boy who was more or less coerced into using the Death Note to begin with--got to a place that even manga Light didn’t have the chance to get to, where he was more willing to save the Death Note than his own father. it’s important to consider another relationship that drama Light has that’s much different from manga Light’s--his relationship to L.

manga light respects L's intelligence and sees him as an equal, as entertainment at times, but he doesn’t like him. not even during yotsuba arc, where they’re ostensibly on the same side--in fact, i would say yotsuba Light has more reason to dislike L, seeing as though he believes L to be falsely accusing him and having tortured him for virtually no reason. they're not actually friends--it’s a manipulation tactic. moreover, L sees him the same way. they were not friends and they both intended on killing each other until the bitter end.

by comparison, drama light and L's relationship starts that way--with the two of them wanting to kill each other, with a pretense of friendship that is actually an excuse to get close to each other to try and test for weaknesses--but the difference is that they, well, fall for their own bullshit. during yotsuba arc, Light’s memories are rewritten in such a way that he believes that L and light are genuinely on friendly terms, and L finds himself over the course of the arc going from respecting Light’s talents and thinking him as something interesting to genuinely wanting him to not be Kira and seeing him as a friend.

if you want to know more about L’s thought processes during the series and specifically the blue scene I recommend reading my analysis about him [LINK] but what is important to note is that L does not want to kill Light anymore by the time episode 8 rolls around. like Soichiro later will, he attempts to convince Light to confess--with the intention, we later find out, to potentially give him a way out. of course, Light doesn’t understand this and believes, for the moment, that it’s a fight to the death--so he writes L’s name in (what he believes to be) the Death Note.

this is intrinsically different from the way Light kills L in the manga. manga Light convinces someone else to do the dirty work and he is absolutely gleeful when L dies, gloating over his dying body--but up until this point L has made manga Light’s life an absolute hassle and expressed time and time again that he intends on executing Kira, who he believes to be Light. L wants to kill him, and they are not friends. while drama Light also believes it’s a “me-or-him” situation, he cannot deny that he actually likes L, that he wanted to be friends with him--he wanted, like Soichiro, for L to accept him and to be a part of the world Kira would create.

[photo: Light, cast in blue light, is bent over double. we’re looking at his face from below, from L’s point of view on the floor. his face is contorted with grief, face wet with tears and spit. He says, “I’d have wanted to be your friend forever.”]

– Episode 8

these are what Light believes to be his last words to L, so he has no reason to lie. he’s weeping as he says it, seeming absolutely heartbroken. this is the first time that Light kills--or attempts to kill--someone he cares about, and it’s the moment he decides to throw his humanity away. if he hadn’t cared so deeply for L before deciding to kill him, I don’t think the scene with Soichiro would have played out quite the same. Light even says it himself right before he writes L’s name:

Light: I can’t afford to lose to you. I’m creating a perfect world, without crime. To see that happen, I… L: Light… Light: I… I’ve decided there’s nothing I won’t do!

– Episode 8

these words are immediately followed by Light attempting to kill L. this is the fundamental moment that Light throws away his humanity, literally deciding that he would do anything for his new world, including killing his friends if they stand in his way. this culminates in him letting his father die and ripping the Note from his hands. he believes that the ends justify the means and that this is the only option he has.

it’s important to note that it isn’t that Light stopped loving his father, or stopped liking L--it isn’t that he lacks guilt over their deaths. it’s exactly the opposite. while their deaths--and the deaths of the Countermeasures team that he planned to take place, as well as the FBI and countless other people--are a necessary evil in order to make the world a better place, Light has to absolutely jump through hoops to justify it to himself and compartmentalize the guilt. as I said earlier, Light saying that Soichiro’s death was inevitable is a way to distance himself from the pain and guilt and rejection he feels, but as he’s dying that guilt cracks back open wide. when he sees that the Death Note is on fire, he panics and begins crawling towards it.

Light: Not yet. I can still do more. If I give up now… What was it all for?

– Episode 11

this is immediately followed by a flashback to Soichiro’s death, where Soichiro questions him about how killing people serves the world--after he crawls a little further, he flashes back again to L, recalling L’s desire to be friends with him.

these flashbacks go to show that Light feels a deep and profound guilt for killing both of them. he’s justified and rationalized it to himself as being for the good of the world--he chose being Kira over both of their lives. however, this means that if Kira fails, if he dies and the world goes right back to the way it was, then all of it was for nothing. he gets himself into a situation where he has to keep killing and killing people he cares about because if he stops then it means that all of it was for nothing.

it’s honestly an incredibly sad situation, that someone so full of kindness would become ultimately cold-hearted in an effort to cope with guilt.

[tw-koreanhistory]

By Joyce Xi, Opinion contributor

In response to horrific attacks against Asian Americans across the country, the Biden administration has announced a new initiative to combat anti-Asian violence, xenophobia and bias. Days later, a federal court denied my family recourse for the anti-Asian violence and xenophobia the Obama-Biden administration subjected us to several years ago, when the Justice Department and FBI falsely accused my father of sending sensitive technology to China and treated him as a Chinese spy.

Mainstream narratives around anti-Asian violence have often overlooked a simple fact: The same federal government that recently expressed sympathy for Asian American communities has long perpetuated harm against our communities, and continues to do so.

As the country moves from righteous outrage toward the longer-term work of protecting our communities, we must also look at the bigger picture. Truly combating anti-Asian racism will require addressing the government’s role in it.

An ongoing nightmare

In 2015, the FBI raided my family’s home one morning, woke us up at gunpoint and dragged my dad, Xiaoxing Xi, away in handcuffs in front of my mom, sister and me. We were confused and terrified. Later, we found out that the Justice Department was accusing my father of illegally sending sensitive technology to China. They threatened him with 80 years in prison and $1 million in fines.

After the Justice Department publicized its charges against my father, newscasters surrounded our home and tried to film through windows to get a glimpse of our family. The FBI rummaged through all our belongings and carried off electronics and documents containing many private details of our lives. For months, we lived in fear of FBI intimidation and surveillance. We worried about our safety in public, given that my dad’s face was plastered all over the news. My dad was unable to work, and his reputation was shattered.

The government’s accusations were entirely false, and based on emails about academic collaboration between my dad and his colleagues that had nothing to do with the technology the government claimed. Eventually, the Justice Department dropped the case, but not before leaving us traumatized and saddled with enormous legal fees. To this day, we carry many scars from our experience. The government has never explained why it got things so wrong.

These were anti-Asian acts at the hands of the U.S. government. My dad, an American physics professor, is nothing close to a spy. He does not even work on sensitive research. Yet prosecutors recklessly charged him with crimes based on his Chinese heritage, as part of a broader effort to crack down on China and its supposed spies. Without legitimate evidence, the government was able to deploy its powerful national security apparatus against us, including intrusive and secretive surveillance under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. In the process, it upended a family. We pursued a civil rights lawsuit to seek some semblance of justice, but now our legal claims for damages have been dismissed.

History of racial profiling

The unjust prosecution of my father was not an isolated incident, but one of several targeting Chinese American scientists. People like Wen Ho Lee and Sherry Chen, among others, have been painted as spies and had their lives turned upside down, only to have their cases dropped by the government.

Under Donald Trump, this problem grew more pernicious. FBI Director Christopher Wray publicly doubled down, casting students and researchers of Chinese descent as potential spies and stating that the FBI views China “not just a whole-of-government threat but a whole-of-society threat,” requiring a “whole-of-society response.” Trump’s Justice Department launched the China Initiative in 2018 to target these supposed spies. Many more individuals and families have already been impacted.

The Biden administration has continued this initiative, despite civil rights groups’ calls to end it.

While there are legitimate concerns regarding the Chinese government, there is a major human cost to casting suspicion on entire communities based on national origin. The FBI’s record of racial, ethnic and religious profiling has left a devastating trail, including in Muslim, Black and Indigenous communities. As anti-Asian — particularly anti-China — sentiment and bias continue to grow, I fear the U.S. government will cause many more people to experience what my family did, especially if there is no opportunity to challenge the government’s wrongdoing in court.

The government’s scapegoating of people like my father is part of a broader history of anti-Asian violence and xenophobia. Asian communities in America have long been viewed as perpetual foreigners and national security threats, dating to the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 and the Immigration Act of 1917, which barred people from China and the Asia-Pacific region from immigrating to the United States for decades.

During World War II, the government infamously incarcerated 112,000 Japanese Americans in the name of national security. The United States has promoted wars and militarization in places like the Philippines, Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos that have dehumanized Asian people in the public imagination, and that have killed, traumatized and displaced many.

Now, the U.S. government is deporting Southeast Asian refugees who fled these wars. After 9/11, law enforcement vastly expanded its surveillance, harassment and criminalization of Muslim, Arab and South Asian communities, discriminating against them in the name of national security. And when COVID-19 hit, Trump resorted to blatant racism, calling it the “China virus” and “kung flu.”

Against this backdrop, countless Asians in America have been subject to violence and vitriol. The recent anti-Asian attacks have various causes, but with the government’s own xenophobic actions and rhetoric, it is no surprise these assaults on our communities have been widespread.

Like many, I worry for myself, friends and family amidst these hyper-visible attacks. But I take no comfort in the federal government saying it will protect Asian Americans by increasing the power of the very agencies that helped create conditions for violence. To meaningfully address anti-Asian violence, the U.S. government must end its own racist policies and account for past wrongdoing. And my family will be appealing the court’s dismissal of our claims. We will continue to fight to end racialized targeting of our communities.

Joyce Xi is the daughter of Xiaoxing Xi, a Chinese American scientist who was wrongfully prosecuted by the U.S. government.

it’s good asian americans are speaking out about this especially now with the biden regime that will continue and expand obama’s mass surveillance and spying on asian americans.

but wtf? in the middle of this op-ed, usatoday injects a link to a story that’s not even related...

fucking usatoday anti-asian anti-china bullshit. wtf?

seriously wtf usatoday? fucking US media. fuckers. do you know how fucking insidious US western media is? fuckers.

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

Save Him

Warning: A total rewrite of Carry on because…well…it’s shit. And maybe not from start to finish, the beginning half of the episode was good. No other warnings, just a feel good fic to help cope with the end of SPN.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

A/N: Events are after the fight with the vampires.

Word Count: 1,369

Mobile Masterlist

Summary: Sam and Dean go on one last hunt. But just before the older Winchester can accept his fate, his little brother fights for him one last time.

(My opinion, the acting was awesome. Jared and Jensen deserve all the Oscars after that performance. Just, story-wise, it’s shit. Too fast and rushed. And out of character, Sam didn’t even call 911, or put an attempt into saving Dean. They just accepted ‘fate’. After they said they’re better together, and worthless apart. Dean saying, he sees him retiring from the life in Season 13, and actually seeming like he was looking forward to it. Sure, it’s the only way to end the show, but too soon. Dean deserved more, and Sam’s kids deserve an uncle. The boys deserve to grow a family of their own. But that is just my opinion, Jensen and Jared will forever be my favorites.)

~

“It’s okay,” Dean says. Fighting off the pain as best as he could. “It’s okay, it’s good.”

“It’s good.” He says, smiling.

“No Dean, this is not good.” Sam argues. Clearly upset and freaking out his older brother is dying and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Unless…

“Jack!” he calls out, pacing the barn.

“Sam, don’t.” Dean groans. “He said he was hands off.”

“Jack if you can hear me, save him. You owe us that much!”

Moments later Jack appears in the barn.

“Jack, save him.”

“Of course, Sam. You don’t have to ask me twice.” Jack says. Snapping his fingers. Snapping the boys back to the bunker, Dean fully healed. Miracle running over to them, greeting them with licks and tail wags.

“But I thought—”

“I owed you guys that much. For all the things I’ve done to you, Mary. I just wanted to not only make it up to you guys, but to give you a proper chance at life.” Jack explains.

Dean stood there, speechless and taken aback by Jack’s reasoning. He was still wanting their forgiveness, and he did it by bringing Dean back to life.

“A proper chance?” Dean asked.

“I got Cas out of the Empty and we’re working on making a world just for monsters. So, this world can be free of them. No more monsters, no more hunting.” Jack says.

“That’s amazing Jack, thank you.” Sam says.

“Yeah, that’s awesome.”

Jack smiles on his family. “Anything for my family.” And vanishes.

“So,” Sam goes. “What now?”

“Now, we start living.”

 5 years later…

After 5 years of leaving the bunker and living the apple pie life. Sam, managed to get back together with Eileen, and have been married to her for two years. Sam working at a law firm agency, having gone back to law school, and graduated recently with honors.

Dean’s story. Dean always liked working around cars, he liked working with his hands. Dean tried his hand at school, wanting to open up his own garage. Not being a fan of being bossed around and such, following in Bobby’s footsteps. Opening a garage, scrap yard, fixing up cars, reselling them. Restoring them. At Winchester’s Restorations.

It wasn’t until a few years later, after his garage has been opened, and the Winchester’s are living comfortably in their apple pie life, he had a visit he didn’t know he was waiting for his whole life.

It was a stormy night, his garage normally closes around 8pm, later than most garages in Lawrence Kansas.

A car pulls up to his garage, sounding god awful. The engine making a noise even he didn’t like the sounds of it.

Hurrying outside, he urged the driver to shut off her car. She does so.

Grabbing her things, she gets out of her car.

“My car has been making this noise all day today, and just as I’m driving home from work the check engine light came on.” She explained. “Now, I know you do restorations, but what about just, regular like, garage stuff like fix up cars like mine.” She asked.

“I know what you mean, and yes, I do that stuff too. Let’s get you squared away so I can do it tomorrow.” Dean says with a smile.

They hurry inside to get out of the rain.

Dean grabbed the correct paperwork, having her fill out her information of her car and her contact information and the problem. And handing it back to him.

“Alright, I’ll start on it first thing tomorrow.” He tells her.

“Thank you so much.”

“It’s not a problem.” He says with a smile. “Do you have a ride home miss?”

“Um, no I don’t. I’m new to Lawrence.” She says.

“It’s totally fine, I have no problem giving you a ride, if you like.” Dean offered.

“I don’t know you.”

“Just thought I’d offer.” Dean says.

“My name is y/n. I’m from Nebraska, and I’m a writer.” She says.

“Dean Winchester, I’m was born and raised here.”

She nods. As the two get to know each other.

Dean happily gave her the ride, she accepted happily given the storm not lighting up.

As Dean sat outside her house, while she gathered her things and got ready to head in.

“I really enjoyed your company Dean, maybe you should call me some time.” She offers.

“I’ll take you up on that offer sweetheart. See you soon.” Dean smiles.

She smiles back, as she exits the impala, she’s taking a number of times looking back at Dean. She shuts the car door behind her, running inside so as to not get soaked by the rain.

Dean keeps an eye out to make sure she is in the house, safe and sound before driving off.

Only to make a turn seeing the road flooded. Turning around he tries another route to getting out of the neighborhood, getting the same road.

It had been raining all day that day, and well into the evening. It’s no surprise if the creeks and rivers have gone over their banks, or even the storm drains having a hard time keeping up with the rainfall. So, he drives back to her place.

Rings her doorbell. She opens the door after a few beats. Dressed in her more comfortable clothes, sweats, oversized t-shirt and a pair of big warm socks.

“Problem?” she asks, when she sees him.

“Roads are flooded, kind of trapped here.” He says sheepishly.

“It’s not a problem, come on in.” she offers

She had popped in a couple of frozen pizza’s in the oven while Dean got himself comfortable.

She headed up to her guest bedroom, where she had spare clothes stashed away. From number ex-boyfriends who have forgotten most of their clothes. She grabbed Dean a pair of sweats and a comfy t-shirt.

She heads back downstairs to offer Dean the clothes.

“I have some clothes, hope they fit.” She offers.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, thanks sweetheart.” He says, taking the clothes.

“Bathroom is down this hall here on the left.” She points out.

Dean makes his way to the bathroom, getting out of his work clothes and into the comfy clothes offered to him.

The beeping of the oven going off as he exits the bathroom.

“Hope you don’t mind, I heated up some pizza.”

“It’s okay, I am starving, thanks for offering.”

She smiles, offering him a styrofoam plate of pizza.

 Dean spent the night that night, and every night since then.

After that night, they bonded over stories. She learned of the places he’s been, she knows he’s keeping a major part of his life secret. But maybe it is for the best that she doesn’t know the hell he has been through.

 As the years went on, Sam and Dean having families of their own. Sam had his son, who he named after his brother Dean. And Dean having him kids of his own, two boys, twins and a girl. Kevin, Jack and Charlie.

Monsters really were a thing of the past. But the people over the years up to this point, the people Sam and Dean have saved, made stories. Like heroes to legends.

They lived their life, happy and to the fullest.

Sam and Dean died of old age in their homes, surrounded by family and those they love.

 Up in heaven, where Bobby sat on the porch of Harvell’s Roadhouse and waited for the boys to enter heaven.

“It’s about time you boys showed up.”

“Bobby?” Dean asks.

“What memory is this?” Sam asks.

“This ain’t a memory. You’re not living in your golden years anymore. Rufus just lives about half mile that way. You’re parents there.” Bobby pointed out.

“Wait, mom and dad are here?” Sam asked. Bobby nods.

Sam taking off, Dean following him.

They catch a glimpse Dean’s Impala, with his old Kansas plates, KAZ 2Y5. Dean excited he sees his old baby again.

“Let’s go see our family.” Sam says. Dean smiles, agreeing.

Dean turning the key in the ignition of the impala, roaring the engine to life.

The radio playing Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas.

“God, I love this song.” Dean sighs.

“Same.” Sam says.

~

Dean Tag List:

@luci-in-trenchcoats​, @supernatural-jackles​, @becs-bunker​, @mlovesstories​, @winchesters-favorite-girl​, @winchest09​,

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 12/2/2020

[thepineapplejuicer]

Know it all

Chapter 8

Nightcrawler fanfic (I do not own the X-men or the gif).

Violet Ashbourne is a gifted human hacker in possession of a radio, a secret device that gains her access to a large underground information network and electronics all over the world. Human and mutant coexistence has always been her goal, but will the betrayal of her mutant mother and father- once partners to her rise to power- distort her beliefs? Will the X-men be able to save her from her own pride and ambition? Or will she sacrifice everything, including the only boy she’s ever trusted, for vengeance?

Hunching over Forge's workbench, I gently place the wires between each other. The baton was now nicely polished and the newly attached, shiny red button made me feel safer already.  I place the tweezers down gently, still in slow motion so to not harm my new prototype. Setting it down, I glance at the other two things I tinkered with. My watch, once recovering scrap metal that was shattered from my encounter with Pietro, is now improved with wireless communication linking capability, an electronic overload capable of blacking out an entire street block, and preset orders to my favorite Chinese delivery joint.

The last gadget is not complete. It was an old Rubix cube, but with enough wires and an- illegal- AI program I was able to make it into a small command drone. High pitch chimes and digitalized chirps come from the Rubix cube as it tries to float on its own.

"Easy, your not ready for a flight test just yet." I catch it in my hands and smile as the small light that mimicked an eye movement stared up at me.

"I think I'll call you, DOD; Drone of Defence. What do you think?"

It hums.

"Oh yeah, voice diagnostics aren't done. Sorry."

DOD beeps and directs its glowing eye to the door.

"Yeah, I just need to grab something from my workbench." Forge barges in and is shocked by my presence.

"Oh, you're still here." He glances towards my room, "Did you even sleep last night?"

"Night?" I looked at the time on my watch, 5 am, amazed that I hadn't registered the hours pass me by. "I guess I was on a roll."

"Well, I see you made use of that old baton. What does the red button do?"

"Want to find out?" I grin, reaching over and putting on a pair of safety glasses, "I haven't tested it out yet, so be prepared for sparks. Literally." before Forge can take any procautions I press the red button lightly, igniting the white electric current wrapping around the metal baton.

"Woah!" A new voice comes in.

I switch it off and notice that Kurt is standing behind us, awestricken by the electric baton.

"You have a knack for this kind of thing." Forge smiles.

"My other creation isn't quite ready yet though." I rub one of DOD's Rubix squares with my finger.

"You're kidding, you made a drone?" Forge looks at DOD closely.

"That is so cool!" Kurt smiles, adjusting his odd-looking helmet.

"I can't say the same about that getup, what are you wearing?" I look over the panel box strapped to his chest with a datapad and the bike looking helmet.

"I've been working on a device to help Kurt slow down his teleporting speed so that we can see just where he goes. That brimstone dust has to come from somewhere, right?" Forge explains.

"Ja, and maybe we can figure out a way to make me teleport faster and farther."

"That's incredible."

"We are going to do a demonstration once everyone wakes up if you're interested."

"I'd like that," I look at Kurt, "Did you install any safety precautions?"

"No why?" Forge asks, rummaging through his workbench.

I glare at him, "because we have no idea what Kurt will run into if there is another place he transports to."

"He will have Logan with him."

"Oh yes, and Logan is a great help. I'm sure he will throw him extra carefully at enemies."

"He is sorry about that." Kurt interrupts, looking back and forth as Forge and I argue.

"Point is, Kurt should have something to protect him."

"It's too late to install something like that before the test run."

"I'll program it to overload if prompted."

"What?! No! That will fry the circuits!"

"Well, you should have been thinking about Kurt's safety. I won't allow him to go into danger like that without proper defense."

"Allow?" Kurt and Forge grin romantically.

"I absolutely forbid it," I whisper sweetly to Kurt. He smiles leaning casually into my personal space.

"And you can relax, Forge, this overload will only activate all active systems at full compacity, letting off an electrical shock. It will spook off anything directly in front of Kurt, but will not harm key components."

"You talk like a computer," Kurt chuckles, "It's kinda cute."

Forge rolls his eyes, "fine, you better hurry though the others are gathering in the training room." He walks out, leaving Kurt and me alone.

I begin working on the panel, exposing its wires and circuitry. I feel Kurt's eyes leave me and land on my computer systems, "Your work is fascinating, Vi. Why do you have so many monitors on? Can't you just do it from one?"

I smile at the nickname he called me, "It helps me sort through information simultaneously. Helps when there is a lot of information on a subject or I don't want to keep flipping between pages."

"What kind of information?"

My hands stop once I grab a wire between the tweezers, "Kinds that are better off controlled by someone like me."

"Then why do you do it if it makes you stressed?"

"Someone has to keep other people safe. The Xmen have their way of helping and I have mine. My parents used to help me with all this, but they don't exactly have the world's best interests in mind anymore; they'd start a third world war if it got what they wanted."

"You've never mentioned to your parents."

"That is a long story, Kurt. All you have to know is that they aren't the nicest people and I have no way of controlling their ambitions anymore."

"Maybe one day, you'll tell me the entire story."

I chuckle well aware that if I told him the whole story, how I got the radio, how I dealt with the previous owner of it, and what I've done to get this far, he would never look at me the same. The way he looks at an innocent person; a normal person.  I didn't want to ruin that.

"Yeah, maybe."

I close the panel on his chest but don't let go.

"Are you busy this Saturday?" he asks.

Goosebumps run along my arms, hoping that he is going to ask me to his school's dance. "No, not at all why?" knowing that I can't know for sure in my line of work.

He rubs the back of his neck and starts to trip over his words, "I had so much  fun on our date at the carnival." he stopped, "I mean- was it a date?"

I nod, moving the hair from his face.

"Well, there is this dance..."

"Kurt, everyone is waiting for you! Come on, we are so tired, I'm trying to catch some more Zs." Evan shouts from the room across from us.

"Ah, well, can we talk later?" Kurt asks, rubbing my elbow.

"Definitely."

Evan walks in, obviously not a morning person. Kurt and I back away from each other, "Yes, you're all set, just hold this switch here and the panel will overload." I go over.

"Right, thank you, Vi."

Kurt walks out the door with Evan. "I'll be there in a moment," I say, latching the baton into a clip holster on my thigh.

I hear Evan whisper teasingly to Kurt, "Vi? Dude!"

"Shut up!" Kurt hurries into the next room, ducking from my view.

Xavier watches as Logan and Kurt finish getting ready for Forge's test. The rest of the Xmen yawn and groan. "Did you get my pictures?" Kitty grins and elbows me. "Yes, Kitty."

"Did he ask you yet?"

"He's getting around to it."

"You two would look so cute together, Vi." Rogue chimes in.

There is that nickname again...

"Does everyone know?" I chuckle.

"He was asking us for advice," Scott whispers in, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I look at Jean, hoping she would let me in on something Kurt said to her, but she just stays silent, focusing on Forge's demonstration. We all follow her example and pay attention as forge prepares his demonstration.

"Alright Kurt, everything is hooked up- teleport at will. "

"Hey! I'll head over to the school and get a sneak peek at the decorations for the dance."

Everyone murmurs with glee and while Kurt readies himself to teleport. They stand there for a few minutes staring into space.

Then a few more seconds pass, "uh Kurt?" Logan asks.

"I- I don't know, I can't teleport."

Logan slowly turns his gaze to me.

I raise my brow with attitude, "What is there something on my face?" I feel Scott knock on my wrist bands.

"Oh. sorry." I move towards the door and Kurt and Logan immediately disappear in a puff of purple smoke.

*************

I pick my cuticles as my eyes scan the open area of the training room, waiting for Kurt's return. "Do you have a visual on them?" I ask Forge while getting up and shuffle him out of the way of his monitor.

He huffs, "yeah, right there." he points out Kurt's vitals and I am somewhat relieved. "Brief me on your back up retrieval plan."

"My what?"

I look stirnly at Forge, "your plan if they get stuck in there?"

Xavier looks over waiting for Forge to explain.

"Uh..."

"'Uh' is not a backup retrieval plan!"

"Forge, you informed me that you had a plan." Xavier wheels up to us.

"Well... I had one coming."

"Forge!"

As everyone questions Forge I hear a small buzzing noise come from his computer. "uh oh." I quickly kick Xavier's chair away and tumble to the side with Forge in my arms as his computer explodes from overload.

The sparks settle as the team coughs from the rising smoke. "What happened?" Forge asks, getting startled by the sprinklers turning on. I gather my wet hair and begin to drain it, "I happened, genius. That overload happened because Kurt activated MY safety measure."

A phone begins to ring and I instinctively grab my own.

"Logan?" Xavier asks into his own phone. "at the school?"

I can hear Kurt in the background, "Never teleporting again!"

*****

I fidget with my keyboard as the day goes by. Once the professor and storm retrieved logan and Kurt from the school everyone gave them some space. I objected to him going to school for the rest of the day, but he insisted he would be alright, even with how shaken up he was. He told me he saw red dinosaur monsters in the dimension he traveled to.

I sit up and search through the information my previous agents acquired. "Says here that there have been sightings of red reptilian giants when Doctor strange opened a portal two years back."

My monitor starts ringing as I find his contact information.

"Hello?"

"Doctor Strange? This is the commander." I ensure that the voice masking is working properly before continuing. "I'll cut right to the chase. I hear you've opened a dimensional veil in the past and some creatures had escaped from its fragments. Could you describe them?"

"Which commander? I hear your litter brigade is going through some dilemmas."

I pause, " Where did you hear this?"

He chuckles, "So this is the real commander? I had a hunch the last one was a fake. Someone contacted me claiming to be the commander and if I spoke a word about it I would be eliminated."

"How do you know I am not the imposter?" I continue baiting him.

"Because killing isn't your style. It's been a long time since you came to me for information. I'm guessing you're referring to the apex predators belonging to the brimstone dimension, courtesy of our mutual friend Azazel? Yes, I've run into them, and the only way to be rid of the pests is to mimic the portal of entry."

"So it is possible for them to escape through cracks of the closed portals?"

"Very."

"I appreciate the detail."

"Of course, commander. I do owe you after all."

I stay silent remembering the information I used to feed him regarding his old human girlfriend.

"And commander? I hope you kick those frauds out."

I hang up hesitantly.

"Find anything on those creatures?" Logan's voice comes from the door behind me. My brow narrows, "fortunately, I have."

"Great, whatcha got?"

"What do you have."

" 'scuse me?"

"It's 'What do you have?' not 'whatcha got?"

"Gotta problem with how I talk?"

"That is hardly the problem."

"So what? Is it ma throwin arm?"

My fists tighten, "Enough of this, I will report my findings to the professor." I lock my monitors before I leave Logan with an idiotic smile plastered on his face.

*****

"So we could be looking at these creatures coming into our dimension?" Xavier asks.

"We WILL be is more accurate." I correct.

"So we have to mimic Kurt's teleportation right?" "Forge begins, "Oh come on that is child's play for Vi and I. HA! Vi and I..."

Forge looks at my unamused expression and kills his chuckle, "Anyways we can totally rig that up, Vi!"

"I am glad you're enthused, we will need to construct it right away."

The front door opens and the student's laughter pours into the mansion.

"Let's keep this to ourselves, we wouldn't want to alarm the students so close to their dance."

Forge and I nod and walk out into the main corridor. I spot Kurt and decide that this is a better time than ever to give him the chance to ask me to the dance.

As I approach him his eyes lock on me, but he quickly turns around and teleports away. I reach the others as they look at me with an apologetic face.

******

Earlier that day (Kurt's POV)

"Ah, man! What do I do?!" I groan letting my forehead hit the table. "Well, you've kind of set yourself up, man." Evan chuckles.

"It's not funny! You know how much I wanted to ask Violet to the dance! I was so caught up in trying to ask her I didn't even think that Amanda would ask me."

"Why don't you just tell Amanda the truth?" Scott offers, more sympathetic to me.

"Oh ja. Hey Amanda! I can't go to the dance with you because I want to go with a different girl who doesn't even go here. I'm not that stupid!"

"Point taken. Sorry, pal."

******

later that night (Violet's POV)

Back at the monitors again. I lazily click around the blueprints for the device Forge and I need to complete as soon as we can. It's ridiculous for me to be upset that Kurt has another date, I am here for one purpose. "Geez, its only been a few weeks of being here, why do I feel so emotional about this?"

"Because you're a teenager." I groan as I see Logan come up next to me.

"That was a private thought Mr. Howlet."

"Oh ho ho, ya know ma actual name. How long it take ya to fish that out?"

"Please, your information may as well be posted on a wiki page."

He chuckles then shifts closer to me, "look I know ya don't like me, but you're still a student here-"

"I am no such thing! You will do best to remember that I came here to complete a job, not condone or contribute to your training of mutants."

"So you hate mutants."

"No! I don't. I - I don't know. No."

I sigh and get out of my chair, "regardless of my opinions on mutants I am not here to explain it to you. Nor do I need you to explain my own feelings."

Logan nods sarcastically and begins to walk out. Honestly, I am surprised he is leaving without a fight.

"Remember, we all have one thing in common kid, " he stops at the door, " We've all been afraid of our own minds."

My body cradles itself once he leaves.

"I'm here to do a job. I'm here to do a job. I'm here..."

The lights go out and the only thing illuminating on my body are the countless monitors on the wall.

"God. Why am I here?"

[1phoenixfeather]

Blackmail #14

#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12 & #13 So this was pretty nice one to write, can’t help but bring in more characters which will stir up some drama and also Hero’s past. There is a part 15 as well, it will be a part after that and tbh, I have no clue how or when this is gonna end.

Enjoy.

Antagonist slowly woke up to an unbearable pain, half-sitting on the bed. “It’s like waking up from a fucking nightmare” they mumbled and opening their eyes. Seeing Vigilante lean closer to them, “right… You’re here.”

Vigilante smirked, I’m glad to see you too, I heard you made quite the name for yourself on the racetrack.” Antagonist could only remember the accident… The sabotage leading them here once again. Making them relive and remember everything they have tried to forget. “Something you would like to talk about?”

Antagonist shook their head, “how’re your streets?”

“Better when you’re off them” Vigilante laughed and looked at Antagonist like they looked for something. They turned away to face the empty wall, didn’t want to face whatever waited for them.

“Stop looking at me I’m about to die!” Antagonist snarled glaring at Vigilante who leaned back and observed their hands instead.

“At least we know you’re back to normal.”

Antagonist didn’t want to know what they had said while they had been drugged, just snorted as an answer and as soon as they moved their legs they remembered the injury. “Dammit… Do you ever think that you hate your life?”

Vigilante scuffed, “only a quarter of the times I rush into danger.” Antagonist can’t help but smile while the pain penetrated their whole being, “you remember the time you shot me?”

Antagonist tensed a tiny bit, nodding and turning slightly away. “If I recall correctly you followed me” they answered and hawked nervous. But Vigilante didn’t seem like they took it so hard, not like the last time when they almost had ended up in an unfair fight.

“I’m sorry, I know the effects off my gun.”

Vigilante gestured it away, it meant they were forgiven. “Anyway… Hell of a first introduction, if you ever get the chance. Do the same to Villain” Vigilante winked with a nice smile. “Oh good, here comes the breakfast. I’m starving.”

“What are you two talking about?” Hero nervously asked them both about, the relief sank into Antagonist. But they had no words for what had happened at this moment. “Take this Antagonist, it’s gonna be a rough few hours.”

Vigilante made a simple sandwich with cheese, “our first meeting. Don’t worry, we both behaved. We’re friends.” Hero was lucky to have put down the tray before and dropped everything else in the process. Looking at Antagonist who didn’t have any words for what they were.

“Something like that” Antagonist carefully stated, it had taken them and Hero a while to be friends. Nights and days of trying to reach out before anything happened. Antagonist was about to drink, but the smell made them grimace. The taste was worse, afterwards they threw away the plastic mug.

Hero picked it up and put it on the tray, “I know it tastes bad. It will help though, breakfast?” Hero made a sandwich, and Antagonist wanted something to calm their empty stomach down.

“Only if I can get some juice to get this taste away.” Vigilante murmured annoyed, and the other two were clearly entertained by their answer. Hero smiled and it, as usual, it was a yes. “Any sign of Villain?”

Hero shook their head, reached some breakfast including juice to Antagonist.

“Next time we see them we’re screwed aren’t we?” Vigilante sighed and leaned even further back in the chair. Hero nodded, but Antagonist could see that Hero thought long and hard on something.

Hero went out in the hallway, walked to their room, and closed the door behind. Picking up their phone, looking for a number they found noted down on a note. “I guess it’s time.”

Calling the number felt like giving up, the signals went through a few times before someone answered. “Hello, who is this?”

Hero tensed only by hearing the voice again, a million thoughts went through Hero’s head. “Mentor… I need your help.” It was quiet for a second on the other end, what if this was a waste of time. “I wouldn’t call if I wasn’t desperate.”

“I thought you could make it on your own.” Hero’s past swept by them in a second, the pain and… They had to look past it. “Wasn’t my method wrong?”

Hero covered their face, “don’t remind me.” They sighed, “I have got into trouble I fear is beyond me, so please…” Mentor laughed, “just get that team I know you got and come over here will you?”

“What kind of trouble?”

Hero hadn’t forgotten how smug they could be. “Villain… And Twin, they gonna get us and get us hard. I can’t let that happen.” Hero had known what they started when they took Antagonist in. But that it was gonna go this far, “I haven’t seen any sign of Villain yet, and that only means they plan something big.”

“Either they act fast or they plan something that most likely will kill you,” Mentor said and Hero must have heard the history between mentor and Villain thousands of times. Maybe it meant the death of Hero and Vigilante.

“This might be worse than death, we can’t get through this without help.” Hero confessed and last time when they had arrested Villain they were lucky and Villain was injured. This time will be different and it scared Hero. “Let’s put our pride away to save lives.”

Hero didn’t get an answer and had to check so the call still was on. It was.

“Come on, if Villain get…” Hero stopped themselves before ending the sentence, but it was too late.

“Finish, Hero.” Mentor demanded and Hero remembered how they brought out the worst in them. On the other hand, Mentor knew everything and could be really judgy. 

“If they get to Antagonist the whole city is in danger” Hero answered low and waited for Mentor to scream. 

Hero knew it started as soon as a deep breath was heard, “the weapon smuggler.” Hero tensed, even more, taking three deep breaths to be able to make this.

“That was months ago, they make weapons for me now.”

“What?!” Hero made some distance to their phone and knew Mentor would put them in prison. This was as much a crime to them as selling weapons illegal. “What are you thinking?”

“They turned to me for help, because Villain blackmailed them to do the same for them.” Hero started to explain, with no regret. They needed the confidence to convince Mentor to help them. “Take it as a civil service.”

“A grey area…”

“Yes, but you have done so much worse than I or Antagonist have done. So quit being stubborn and do this for the better of the city.” Hero almost yelled annoyed, they heard the call end. Hopelessness settled into their chest.

Sitting in the corner, fighting the tears for at least ten minutes. This could turn into a minor panic attack, the thought of waiting for Villain to get them was unbearable. “Fuck…”

If you like my work, please click this link -> https://ko-fi.com/phoenix_feather711

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Bailey!

You have been accepted for the role of ROSLALIA CLEARWATER with the facelaim change of Im Jinah! We were so excited to see someone interested in Rosalia. We think she’s such a multi-faceted character and you really brought her in life in your application. We cannot wait to see how her appearance back to the Order will change the dynamics here! Welcome to the roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME & PRONOUNS: Bailey - she/her

AGE: 26

TIMEZONE: CST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I work full time so usually I’ll be on in the evenings and weekends. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say I should be able to get on around 3 times a week.

ANYTHING ELSE: triggers - animal abuse/cruelty/torture.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Rosalia Clearwater

AGE: 30 - December 12, 1951

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Female | She/Her | Bisexual

BLOOD STATUS: Half-Blood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

ANY CHANGES: Requesting a FC change from Jamie Chung to Im Jinah

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

 (tw: minor self harm)

PERSONALITY:

You know those girls you hear about - the ones that grew up with scrapes on their knees and branches in their hair, with wild smiles and honey sweet laughter? No concept of fear, the kind of girl who embraced everything the world threw at her with her feet planted firmly on the ground. Rosalia was once that girl - always ready to speak up and defend those that need defending, quick to fight and just as quickly settle down into a discussion.

She liked to have an understanding of those around her, how they thought and what drove them. It was maybe a more Ravenclaw trait but she found most confrontations didn’t escalate to the same extent if she heard someone out.

Not that she didn’t have opinions - she knew what she believed in and would do research to help support her ideas. Sometimes she’d get fixated on one idea and hold fast to it, that Gryffindor stubbornness settling into her veins. It would take examples and sources to change her mind at that point, not just an opinion. Of course, when it’s the minority (half-breeds and muggle born) there aren’t always the official resources to back up their experiences - biases run rampant throughout history.

She is a natural born leader and teacher - being the eldest of 4 definitely helped her develop those skills. It showed in her classes too - the ease with which she answered questions and how she would help others around her who were struggling, usually regardless of house. The Slytherin’s usually didn’t ask for help from her but if it happened, her answers were usually a little more clipped and there was a distrust in her eyes that wasn’t present with other houses.

Rosalia could definitely be rash in her decisions, jumping into a fight or conversation without knowing all the details. Most of the trouble she landed in was because she didn’t look before leaping.

She has learned over time to not only listen to what people are saying, but what they are not saying. Gaps in information and missing links usually mean something is fishy and she will never hesitate to prod a little if she feels there’s more to be said.

What do they struggle with?

As a child, she would ask question after question, regardless of how appropriate they were and without any regard for tact. The teachers in her muggle schools tried to train her out of it but it wasn’t until she went to Hogwarts that she truly began to see people from all walks of life and how her questions might affect someone. It was also the first place where her punishments stuck - detention in the muggle world would never compare to scrubbing out cauldrons for hours on end or polishing trophies until her hands were red and raw.

Over time, those relentless questions turned into a love of debate and she would eagerly

argue wixen politics or the rights of certain people or why the colour purple was clearly superior over all other colours. It was fun and it always felt like a contest and she did have a love of winning.

Her biggest struggle came around after she was hit by the curse. It wasn’t like breaking a bone, where the pain was immediate and overwhelming and recovery was slow going but the healing was obvious. No, this curse was more insidious - a dark mark forming on her bicep and over time spreading down to her fingers until her veins were dark and her fingertips black.

Slowly losing the mobility of her wand arm was debilitating - the magic thrummed in her veins but she wasn’t able to cast it, to release it to the world. And then one day, she woke up and couldn’t feel anything where the darkness was - no fizzy thrum of magic, no pinpricks of her sewing needles, not even the sensation as she dragged her sharpest knife along her forearm.

After fleeing Britain and the war, it took a very long time for Rosalia to be able to sleep through the night without dreaming of the night that sent her life into a tailspin. Even now, after all the work she put into her rehabilitation, a big part of her still doesn’t believe she will be able to be of use to the Order. What good is a wix with one good arm and unresolved trauma to an organization that is trying to save the wixen world?

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

Growing up, she never knew her father. Her mother, Vanessa Clearwater, rarely talked about him other than to say that he was a muggle and they were better off without him. It was the same with the rest of her sisters - all of them had a different father, always muggle, and never present. Any time they would ask after any of their absent fathers, Vanessa would snap and send them off to do chores until they were exhausted.

It was a strict upbringing but not unpleasant by any stretch of the imagination. Vanessa instilled in each of them a sense of worth and confidence that would be hard to shake. Magic was intermittent among the girls: Rosalia was magical from the age of three, Violette didn’t manifest anything until her 8th birthday, Alysum was the late bloomer of all of them - her letter came as a surprise and her first year was a struggle, but she did manage to manifest magic. Her magic was always the weakest. And Poppy never showed any aptitude for magic. This meant that her entire family doted upon her and did their best to include her whenever they could, but there were some times that Poppy was excluded despite their best efforts.

Vanessa Clearwater: Mother

Rosalia Clearwater: Eldest

Violette Clearwater: 2nd born

Alysum Clearwater: 3rd born

Poppy Clearwater: 4th born

OCCUPATION: 

Rosalia doesn’t currently have an occupation. Before she fled Britain, she was a full time member of the Order and devoted all her time to the cause. Once she was set up in Brazil, she picked up a waitressing job in a muggle restaurant to pay for her rent and food. Now though, as she steps out into the familiar gloomy atmosphere of London, she has nothing. No occupation, no home - she’s not even sure if she’s still a member of the Order.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER: What is their purpose in the Order? How do they feel about the organization within a failing war? Remember, the Order is also an illegal vigilante organization and that can be difficult for characters to navigate.

It was her home. She was a defender, a light against the evils of the world and now she was nothing. A burden to the people she once called family and a liability if she were ever caught. The guilt haunts her - knowing the risk her actions and memory could have.

And still…some part of her wants to be welcomed back, to rejoin the people she loves. Time is short and survival isn’t guaranteed - the gut wrenching article she read in the Prophet confirmed that. The darkness was spreading and she had to get back out there on the front lines…even if it meant her death.

Penance by sacrifice - could she ever make it up to the Order for leaving? If not..she would give her life for those that hadn’t fallen. She would do all she could to pass on what she’d learned to other members of the Order but, as far as she was concerned, her life was tainted and although she was ready to fight, she knew that her life wasn’t worth the same as someone like James Potter.  

SURVIVAL: 

She fled to Brazil and for a while, could not practice her magic at all. Each spell was a fight and every time she reached for it, it felt tired and lethargic. She got set up in a muggle beach side town and started working in a restaurant to make enough to live. She’s going back to Britain now and to be honest, doesn’t intend to survive. Her survival is no longer on the table - the survival of the Light is all that matters now.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Fragile, non-existent, shattered - coming back, she doesn’t expect any sort of warm welcome. She misses them all though, her heart aching every time she thought of back home, thought of sending another owl, of just picking up and going back to the friends and family she once knew. But her dreams are haunted by their scorn, by their betrayal and she finds herself cowering away in her small bachelor room.

Moody - he was her friend, suspicious and rough and always on edge but someone she could trust with her life. And now….well, if he didn’t hex her on sight, she would think it was a miracle. If she could just talk with him, explain why she left how she did…maybe he’d at least give her the time of day.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: 

Note that there are no planned endgame ships set in this roleplay. There are a few characters who are in romantic relationships at the start of the game, but it will be up to players to decide if those relationships can survive the war. This question does not guarantee that any ship will happen, it is merely for fellow players to see where your interest might lie.

Really, anything organic. Will have to work through trauma - doesn’t intend to survive war - why make long term commitments? Open to old flames/exes as well, if we want to establish something from Hogwarts time or from before she fled the country. Could be almost anyone in Hogwarts time and after that time, anyone who was part of the Order. Would never have a relationship with a known death eater - I am down for twists and subterfuge and betrayal though along those lines.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Rosalia definitely has some biases that she got while attending Hogwarts. Competitive by nature, it only made sense to her that of course Gryffindors were better than Slytherins. You only had to look at how the Quidditch games went or where the Slytherin common room was located - the dungeons were creepy and gross and those thoughts just translated over to the students who lived there.

As time went on and she slowly had smaller courses with more classmates from different houses, her immediate disgust and distrust began to go away. She was more likely to treat her fellow Slytherin classmates with respect and even joked around with them, but if she ran into unfamiliar Slytherins in the halls, her gaze would harden and that suspicion would filter back in.

She’s grown a fair bit since her school days and having travelled, does understand that you can’t judge someone based on how they were sorted or who they were at a young age. Still, there are some microaggressions she can’t shake and it takes a purposeful thought process to correct herself when she notices them.

Muggles - Rosalia has two different trains of thoughts when it comes to non-magical folk. The first one is based on Poppy - the baby of the family and someone who needs to be protected. She doesn’t have the luxury of magic to rely on and she struggled a little more compared to the rest of her family. If Rosalia had to compare, she would say it was most similar to seeing a puppy on the side of the road in a box that needed a home.

The other train of thought stems from what Vanessa has told her about her father. How he didn’t want to be a part of her life, how unreliable he was, how much better off they are without him. It’s normal for muggle parents to be absent from their child’s life and Vanessa didn’t want that for any of her kids.

Living among muggles hasn’t warmed Rosalia’s heart to them. If anything, the resentful side of her has grown - working in a customer service role has shown her the worst side muggles have to offer.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 

Honestly, I was looking around different roleplays on tumblr and I really loved the premise of this group. I also liked how the plot drops really incorporated all characters involved and seems to include everyone.

I’ve also kept thinking about this group after I messaged the main a month ago about the potential FC change. I literally couldn’t get Rosalia out of my head.

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

I really like the idea of exploring the trauma and PTSD that Rosalia has and how this will affect her return to the Order. I also like the idea of her not succeeding when she initially returns and forcing her to deal with some of the trauma she’s been avoiding.

I also love the idea of getting her to a place where she can produce a full bodied patronus again as she hasn’t been able to since she was hit by the curse.

[dreamcatcherfication]

The Queens of London Part 2 - Rolling in the Deep End

Part two of my “Queens of London” series. The more I write this, the more I feel like I’m writing a Spy AU. That’s not what I intended, but I guess it could work out. Anyway, I’m trying to get at least one fic out everyday for the time being. I feel like I have enough time and y’all deserve some content. (I can’t promise good content, but I try).

Writing Masterpost

Please send in prompts and asks, I’m happy to write for everyone (trust me, I’ve got plenty of time). Word Count: 2042

Prompts | More Prompts | The Trifecta of Prompts

Summary: When Katherine Howard received a strange invitation from a group of women known as “The Queens”, she had no idea what to think. The last thing she expected was to be thrown into the center of a dangerous conspiracy against some douchebag named Henry. But by now Kat’s learned that she really has no idea what to expect anymore.

Part 1 

The entire table sat in silence, the majority of the women staring at Kat. The teen had her eyes pointed downwards, too terrified to make eye contact with anyone else. The realization that she was in way over her head was sudden and jarring, and it made her sick to her stomach. Should have just stuck with the ramen, she kept chanting in her head. “So,” Boleyn awkwardly piped up. “You got anything for us Brandon?”

Kat felt immediately wrong when Anne called her that, so she spoke up, “Actually, you can just call me Kat,” before she could think of anything else. The queens looked a little taken aback by her young voice but they said nothing.

It was Cleves who nodded and explained, “Well you probably should know why we wanted you here tonight. We’re actually a little surprised you actually showed up, especially with how you never show your face in public. We had no idea you looked so,” she stumbled around for the right word, “young.”

Okay, that explains a lot, Kat thought. If none of them know what Katherine Brandon looks like, then they don’t know that I’m not her. That’s lucky. It was Aragon who spoke up next. Her voice was stern but her eyes didn’t hold any of the anger Kat was so used to seeing in adults. “You read the letter, so you must know what Henry’s been doing.”

Trying to keep a stutter out of her voice, Kat said, “Please remind me.”

The women all seemed vaguely confused, but they obliged. “Henry Tudor, one of the most well known politicians in London today,” Catherine Parr started. It struck Kat in that moment, of course it would be someone like Henry Tudor they were talking about, not some backstreet gang member Henry she’d been expecting. “He’s been screwing us all over with his puppeteering -”

“Ooh cool simile,” Anne said as she tilted her head towards Cathy.

“That’s not a simile,” Cathy deadpanned. She continued, “But Henry has been practically controlling the entirety of Parliament. He’s unlawfully put restrictions on Aragon’s company, he’s been making it absolute hell for Jane to do her charity work, and so much more. Not to mention his dabbling in the Black Market and the assassinations we suspect him of taking part in. We tend to stay away from all that, but I know the Black Market’s your specialty Kat. And we all have our personal beef with him.”

Nodding along, Kat hid her surprise at the mention to the Black Market. She was supposed to have connections to the Black Market? Oh, she was a lot deeper in than she thought. “That’s why we’re going to take him down.”

“What?” The word slipped out of Kat’s mouth before she could close it.

“He’s done some horrible things,” Jane spoke firmly, “and that’s unforgivable. He’s got everyone under his thumb. Unless we can get cold hard evidence to convict him, he’s always going to win. That’s why all of us need to work together. So Kat, are you in?”

Later, Kat would ask herself What was I meant to do? when Jane gave her that hopeful smile. She had always looked up to the woman, reading about her in free newspapers. To have her directly asking for help, Kat almost instantaneously said, “Of course!” The enthusiasm was a direct contrast to her actual nervousness, and the change was enough to offset the other women.

“Right,” spoke the woman with the slick ponytail. She shot a glance at Boleyn but the other woman only shrugged. “Well we’ve been devising a plan for a while, but it’s taken this long to assemble the whole team. Now that we’ve got you, Kat, we can finally get started.”

“Yes, I think it would be best if you went with Jane and Joan so they can give you a rundown of our previous meetings while the rest of us discuss our future plans,” Aragon stated offhandedly, giving a pointed glance to the millionaire. Jane stood up, followed by Joan and stuck out for Kat to take. Hesitantly, Kat slipped her hand into the woman’s grip and allowed herself to be led out of the room. As Joan closed the door behind them, Kat could almost feel the eyes of the seven remaining women on her back.

After the three girls left the room, the remaining seven were quiet. No one knew what to say after the awkward introduction they shared with Katherine Brandon. “Okay, it can’t just be who thinks she’s way too young, right?” Anne broke the silence, looking expectantly at the others.

Maggie nodded in agreement, elbowing Bessie in the side to get her to nod along. “Well looks can be deceiving,” Bessie shrugged and went back to tapping her fingers on the table.

Someone clicked their tongue, and everyone turned their attention to Anna. The designer was looking down at the table with a concentrated look on her face. “I can’t help but feel a little off about all this. Brandon’s supposed to be one of the most ruthless competitors in the Black Market, but Kat looks like she couldn’t hurt a fly.”

“It doesn’t matter how she looks, right now we have to trust her,” Cathy cut in. “If we’re going to take down Henry, we need everyone we can get. And that includes Kat.” Slowly, everyone mumbled out varying forms of agreement.

Maria shifted in her seat. “We’re going to have Jane watch her, aren’t we?”

“You make it sound like we’re stalking her,” Maggie retorted.

“But Maria is right,” Aragon sighed. “We need her, like Cathy said, but we can’t leave her alone. Not until she proves herself. Anytime she’s around one of us, we’ll have Jane there.”

“But we can’t stalk her?” Anne asked, toeing the line between disappointment and understanding.

“No, we won’t cross that line.”

There was a silent consensus amongst the group as they all settled back into their seats. They had faith that Jane and Joan would be able to get a good reading on Kat. After all, Jane was wonderful at getting someone’s true personality to shine, and Joan was perfect for analyzing that personality. It was what made them such a good duo.

The light squeeze of her hand reminded Kat who she was with. “Jane Seymour,” she couldn’t help but mutter in awe.

Jane had a nice smile, one she wasn’t afraid to flash in Kat’s direction. “Based on what the other queens told you during the meeting, I’m sure you already have a pretty good idea of what’s going on here.” Kat swallowed thickly and nodded, not taking her eyes off Jane. She was sure Joan was standing behind her, likely watching her every move, but Kat was transfixed. For so long, she had fantasized Jane Seymour looking up from her phone on early morning walks and smiling at her as she sang. And now, here she was, having a conversation with the woman. 

“Right, then let’s get into the specifics of it,” came Joan’s voice from behind Kat. The teen whipped around to face Joan, but the lady had already started circling Kat to stand next to Jane. They were an interesting duo in Kat’s eyes. The kind, charitable millionaire and the protective… assistant? Sister? Kat didn’t know how the two of them were related, and she made a mental note to look it up the next time she had a chance.

It was Jane who continued the conversation then. “We’re going to go undercover -”

“Like a spy?” Kat asked.

“Like a spy,” Jane replied giddily, “and get the evidence we need to get Henry sentenced to jail. He’s got this party in a few days time that we’re going to go to. We’ve been invited -”

“Under the pretense of keeping up appearances of course,” Joan cut in.

“To his party, and we’re going to use it as a cover to break into his secret rooms. There we’ll hopefully be able to find documents linking him to all his illegal activities. The drug deals, assassinations, anything that’ll get him arrested.”

Kat frowned and stared at the floor. “Then why do you need me?”

Joan smiled, the grin carrying the same energy as Jane’s. “You’re the most important part Brandon.” It didn’t escape her notice the way Kat cringed at the name. “No one knows your face. You’ll be able to disappear without anyone noticing to grab our evidence.”

Gulping, Kat tried to keep herself calm as she realized how much worse everything was getting for her. “Okay. Then what’s everyone else doing?”

“Joan and the other ladies,” Jane paused, then added, “Maria, Bessie, and Maggie,” for clarification. “They run the operation from here. They plan, tell us the latest updates, they’re our backup squad.” Kat nodded along, making mental notes to the best of her ability. “Aragon is a big name, everybody knows who she is, so she serves as our distraction. Get all the attention on herself, nobody notices you sneaking around. Anne does basically the same thing, except she also gets information from the partygoers. With how silly she asks, you’d be surprised how cunning she can be. Anna provides the looks for everyone so that we can blend in. It’s a high class party with rich, influential people, we need to look the part. And Cathy, ever the journalist, snoops around. She takes note of every little thing she sees and hears in case it could possibly come in handy. I’ve seen her carry four blank notebooks at a time in order to record everything.”

It was a lot of information Jane had willingly shared with Kat, and the teen did her best to take it all in. She repeated it in her mind in order not to forget what she had learned. “What about you?”

“Isn’t that one obvious?” Jane laughed lightly, “I’m the one with the invitations. Henry doesn’t like the other queens, but he won’t make a scene if I invite them all. He’s too prideful to tell me I can’t bring them.”

Joan furrowed her eyebrows and leaned forward, inspecting Kat. “It is quite lucky that you’re so small, you’ll slip right by.” Kat figured it wasn’t meant to be offensive, but she was suddenly self conscious about her size compared to all the other queens. How am I supposed to compete? She thought, when they’re all fully grown women and I’m an anxious, growth stunted teenager?

The two women didn’t seem to notice (or if they did, they made no comment) her internal turmoil. Jane patted Kat on the back and led her towards the door. Joan held the door open and gave a small, but genuine smile. “The meeting’s over already?” Kat asked in confusion. She felt as if she’d just arrived.

“These things tend to be pretty quick. Besides, we only called a meeting to get you informed. We’ll meet back here at the same time tomorrow night so you can get to know everyone and we can prepare for the party,” Jane explained. 

Stepping out the door, Kat turned around to face Jane and Joan who were both still inside the building. “I won’t tell anyone about this, I promise. And I’ll be back tomorrow.” After learning how much their plan hinged on her, Kat felt she had the duty to at least try and help them. For some reason, she had gotten the note to meet them, and if they were going to take down a crooked politician who apparently has a lot of beef with them… Kat was going to do her best to help. If that meant becoming some modern version of a spy, then so be it. (Secretly, Kat liked the idea of getting to be her own version of James Bond. She’d have to come up with a cool intro, like his.)

With one last glance, the two women inside the building shut the door and left Kat to make her way home in the dark night. Once the door was shut, Jane turned to Joan. “Did you get the same feeling I got?”

“And so much more,” Joan nodded. “We need to tell the others. They’re gonna want to know about this.”

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Debuff Zane Build

i am tired of not seeing this build in all the zane build videos i watch so im sharing it here because its stupid fun bc u run fast and kill faster. it’s not meta, but its fun as fuck and u have a lot of damage and survivability with it. I’ve completed M4 Slaughter Shaft with it- haven’t tried on M10 yet but i have faith. p.s its 4 am pls have mercy if there’s spelling mistakes.

what ur gonna need is a band of sitorak, zheitseiv’s eruption, a seein’ dead, and the piss grenade. everything else is fair game, whatever u want. try to get it to have the sntl cryo anoint bc good. but u must have the 4 main items for this to work perfectly (it also somewhat works with a low level Frozen Heart bc best shield in the game but you will die a lot more)

also i need a fucking name for this build help

oh god oh fuck i forgot i was playing through the handsome jackpot dlc again

oki im ready to party

this is my current loadout

sometimes i switch the reg Q-System for a kaoson or a nighthawkin if i need ammo (OP QSystem is... OP but not as fun as a tracking grenade QSystem so i don’t care for it) and maybe the brainstormer for a reflux if many shielded enemies (i prefer the brainstormer over the reflux atm. so try for a brainstormer!!)

3rd slot, that’s a monarch which used to be a dictator b4 it got a straight upgrade. I actually don’t use the bipod unless im in a boss fight and don’t need to move fast. usually violent momentum and violent violence cover the dps loss

ur first 3 gun slots honestly don’t matter much. I have my reasons for using them, but you can use whatever u want i think, so long as its a strong weapon (bc unfortunately a lot of weapons are not scaled for m10). u dont HAVE to use the monarch or the Q system or the brainstormer. I recommend them, cuz theyre fun, but u don’t gotta if u wanna swap em out for a a kaoson or a yellowcake or a sandhawk or smth

the last gun is my zheitsev’s eruption. This bad boy, when u reload, shoots out homing balls of debuffery. So every enemy that gets hit with these gets a debuff. I have tried this with the needler but I prefer Zheitsev’s bc it can hit more enemies and once and takes less time. this gun only goes to Blane (ur clone). 

for the skill trees we have no points in under cover even tho brainfreeze is the best skill in the gaaaaame

explanations: 

really the hitman tree is p self explanatory, u wanna go fast as fuck boiii. My band of sitorak does not have the +15 movespeed while zoomer is active anoint (it has the break shield amp anoint, which is p okay. want movespeed, but a nice human from the reddit gave me this sitorak so i didn’t have to farm). u want drone delivery bc Blane will NOT be throwing grenades. If you try to make him throw grenades with the seein’ dead he will ONLY throw grenades and never fire his gun, meaning he’ll never reload. it’s a nightmare. anyway. u want the piss grenade (ideally with the +25% damage on thrown anoint). im not looking forward to regrinding this when they finally mayhem buff grenades.

we put one point into playing dirty because we want those extra shots and honestly with the amount of times seein’ dead can proc ur kill skills you’ll have it more often than not

we also have points in good misfortune for that sweet sweet uptime (which btw can be infinite using the brainstormer/reflux bc it is essentially a redistributor without the need for ur barrier) the monarch/dictator also does it justice

for Blane u DON’T WANT praemuntis. we want blane reloading as often as gotdamn possible. now unfortunately my seein’ dead gave me a +weapon mag size roll (im actually not sure if this affects blane, but im assuming it does) but it does have the amazing +5 donnybrook so I’m taking it anyway. I am so not looking forward to regrinding a good class mod when they finally release action skill buffs for them. i cri. i actually hear 3 points in donnybrook and 2 in violent violence is p good (or 1 in violent violence 1 in playin dirty) so maybe grinding won’t be so bad. maybe i’ll finally get a +weapon damage roll

u can grab 1 point in ducttape mod and put 4 points into borrowed time if you want. it doesn’t really matter. i current have 5 in borrowed time and 3 in pocket full of grenades (for some reason??? usually i only put 2 in.). U can do that and use those extra points for either ducttape mod or more points in playing dirty. 

u NEED quick breather. This skill has a STUPID interaction with the band of sitorak shield because of how quickly it recharges. I’m talking, the instant you swap with Blane, you have full shields and so does he. It’s dumb, I love it. Use it to get out of trouble.

so im probably gonna need to explain why i have 3 points in trick of the light: im a cryo slut. That’s it. put those wherever you want, just make sure you can get Double Barrel. i’ve seen builds where people actually go for brainfreeze, i might try that next time i respec.

Double barrel will make it so blane can use the zheitsev’s eruption and debuff your enemies for you. it’s worth it.

so the augments u want are these:

SCHADENFREUDE. because band of sitorak has such a tiny capacity, ur shield is constantly up. If its not, it’s constantly breaking from full capacity. this does have a fun effect with the amp shield break anoint, but mainly i like it for the 25% damage buff whenever it breaks. its a tradeoff for damage, ur constantly swapping between max shields and more damage, so its actually p constant survivability and damage over the long run.

i grab doppelbanger bc blane sometimes gets stuck in the floor and/or i don’t feel like running all the way back. i wouldn’t recommend getting which one’s real or digital distribution only bc u want him alive as much as possible. u can also get binary system instead of doppelbanger, its up to you

for Zoomer u want bad dose for the movement speed and (sometimes) static field (only if the enemies have shields). this is so if blane goes down or he isn’t taking damage, zoomer can refill ur shields. if the enemies won’t have shields usually i grab winter’s drone or boomsday depending on how i feel.

im actually gonna try to see if i can’t grab brain freeze. hang on. i know trick of the light is frowned upon for most people so lemme just respec. (im sorry i just love the vibes it gives me it’s like HAHA you thought that was me? no!!! boop. and then they’re ice sculptures and man i love h2o i wish emma had frozen more people the only people she really freezes are Greg and Miriam and honestly she doesn’t even kill Greg smh. (Greg is dr denman’s assistant. greg is highkey god.) I do like what she did to Mirami, the fucking implications that YES these teenage girls ARE powerful enough to instakill people, they just don’t out of the kindness of their hearts. Rikki was badass that episode too. actually i love the episode where rikki almost boils a dude alive for making a fool of her with ILLEGAL F I S H and burns people using steam from a pipe. rikki is my favorite mermaid- she knew what was u p. I wish mako mermaids was as badass as h2o was. and the cartoon. god imagine the cartoon violence. sigh. let them use their op superpowers to be SUPERHEROES. like in h2o au i have baron flynt puppeteer people to their deaths from Thor bc he has cleo’s powers like why couldn’t she do that to someone. Like dr denman “lmao bye bitch” or even charlotte (who imho wasn’t bad until cleo started being rude to her. cleo was 100% at fault that season). it wouldn’t have killed her!!! ... instantly. probably. ive never seen avatar in full but i did watch the blood bending episode as a child and as i understand it that’s frowned upon but hey. CAN BELLA TURN PEOPLE INTO JELLY?? harry potter 🅱oneless arms... my god.)

anyway, respeccing. 

there goes all my money. rip.

so i think im gonna have to live with the slower reload speed (sob) but yes u can in fact get brain freeze with this build. lemme show...

so ye in the event u just can’t live without freezing people (i know the feeling) feel free to do this. imma play with this for a bit and see if i can live with slower reload. I actually depend on the 100% cryo with zoomer active for all my cryo damage. i also use an ice breaker so they freeze fairly easy (but only on mobs. on bosses u want the snowdrift or something else)

this build isn’t really meta and u might have trouble doing a solo run of true takedown on m10... bc its true takedown on m10, but honestly it’s fun as F U C K. you CAN do it, but it’s not no thoughts head empty like barrier-redistrubutor/yellowcake zane can be so u gotta be on TOP of ur SHIT. i love it. running around killing stuff. it’s fun. i also love teleporting. it’s my FAVORITE THING. I STILL GET GIDDY OVER IT BECAUSE IT’S SO FUN. ask my friends, they will tell you, sometimes i’ll just start gushing over how much fun it is to teleport even though i’ve played zane since release. just. GFDGHKJGDFK so much fun. i just... b o o p. god i love this game. i took a break to play assassin’s creed odyssey (fun sneaky beaky game, pretty awful dialogue) so DAMN i missed this. 

here’s a link to a video I took on athenas (my favorite area to run. it’s this game’s bloodshot stronghold!) this is the playlist i listen to while playing Zane. i keep swapping songs during play bc sometimes they don’t fit my vibe or i get tired of them lol (spotify control is hooked to my 4th and 5th mouse buttons so i don’t have to stop playing) i forgot where my shock sandhawk was in my inventory, is what i use to demolish traunt. i was so scared i threw it in my bank earlier on sanc-iii lol (also yes i still slap blane’s ass. it’s to encourage him to kill)

and here’s a link to the save + everything I had on me at the moment (including the stuff i picked up in the vid in case u want it lol) cuz im lazy and don’t feel like clearing out my inventory. some of these are only m4-9. which ones? it is a mystery. you’ll know when the new update releases ;) (no but actually im so hype for mayhem level on the item cards. finally. FINALLY!!!)

why is this video taking so long to upload. hynnnggggg

oh god is that the sun

[zwiezraczek]

Criminal - Chapter 8

Billy (viliain) x Female reader (cop)

Prologue/Chapter 1 - CHAPTER 2 - CHAPTER 3 - CHAPTER 4 - CHAPTER 5 - CHAPTER 6 -  CHAPTER 7 - CHAPTER 8:  And even I know this ain't smart - CHAPTER 9

SUMMARY: You always wanted to become a police officer. And you became one of them, brilliantly and they offered you your first case. “The Ghosts” case. The case of fleeting people and one sneaky bastard parkouring around the town to annoy you. You swore to yourself to catch him them. 

WORDS: 1.9k

NOTE: An we’re back on a Friday schedule, yay! A strange week, abut here we are with a week-end and another week which will hopefully be a good one! I hope you’ll like this update!!! 💕

TAGLIST: @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @natsficrecs​ @suckerfor-fanfics​(leave a comment to be a part of it!) PERMANENT TAGLIST @suckerfor-fanfics​ (leave a comment to be a part of it!)

“Y/n? Y/n, you're here with us?” Jake's voice asked you as you snapped in again

It was the third time today. The third time that somebody had caught you thinking about something, something you couldn't share, so you told them it was about the case, your Ghosts case. And in a way, you weren't lying. You were thinking about Billy and his letters, Billy and his humor, Bill and the memory of his blue eyes, Billy and his blonde locks, Billy. At this point, you knew it had become an obsession to wait impatiently for your mail a week after you left the letter in the dumpster he indicated you – he hated when you called it the dumpster, he crossed the word a few times while replying to you and telling you that it wasn't a dumpster. But, it was a professional obsession, right?

It had totally helped you to sort things out, it had cleared your mind and your view on all the had done since you followed them. They had done many good, via very strange ways and methods but in the end their purposes seemed to be worthy. Not worthy killing so many, acting as outlaws and being hidden forever. You told Billy that you thought that their means were a bit harsh, but he told you that he wasn't the brain of these operations, only a pawn, a useful one but still a pawn. And he was certain that there was no other way of action, only being illegal allowed them to quickly dismantle all these dangerous groups. It was a risk that they had to take, as criminals.

A risk you surely wanted to avoid, by working with them.

“She's not here apparently,” said Gina as she put a hand on your shoulder. You absolutely zoned out again. Thinking about the case, and him.

“I'm here, I'm here,” you finally said with a smile on your face, “still working on my case but still here with you.”

“Apparently not with us, because you're not saying a word about your case lately,” Jake remarked and you bit your thumb. Damnit.

“I'm digging deeper into some things, with a new perspective, you know...”

“New perspective? Tell me more,” Gina said as she put her elbows on your desk.

“Well. The Ghosts are always striking at strategic points, their actions are always linked to a bigger picture it seems. All that we see are disconnected events, shootings, kidnappings, gang wars, but at the end there is always something big falling. Always, systematically. Just like in Russia the last time. We're not seeing the things as big as we should. We're always missing the final piece.”

“What do you mean,” you looked up at Jake who seemed a bit lost.

“They're doing basically our job, but without any morals and without any political limitation.”

“No shit way,” Gina whispered.

“You're joking y/n.”

“Not at all,” you said showing them a file in your computer filled with missions they had done in the past, “ look here. If we align their actions from the last few years, we have corresponding dismantling of some mafias in the country and even abroad. Their actions are linked in that way, they're not striking just to strike in a place, but it's all planned even more than we thought it was.”

“Damnit, y/n,” Gina whispered with her eyes still looking at the screen, “you're having something here. It's huge, the boss should know about it! You should tell him in order to make all the things work out again!”

“He's still pissed about the last mission I organized, you know,” you sighed. It wasn't your proudest moment, you had to admit. But, thanks to that moment you met Billy again... Focus, focus y/n. “And besides, he won't believe me. He'll tell me it's a happy coincidence, as everything I found on them so well... I'll keep working on that alone.”

“You can count on us, right Jake,” Gina asked as she looked up at Jake who nodded. “We're working together for years, I mean, at least in the same department, so if you need a hand just hit us up y/n!”

“That's lovely, thank you Gina,” you replied with a smile.

If they were about to work with you, you were screwed. Absolutely screwed. And knowing Gina, she would be there for you, obviously.

~~~~

The day you knew you screwed things up was when you had a day off and your mail came to the station.

But the worst part of your day off was that you spent it with Billy. Discussing. In a coffee shop. About things and others. You told him about your day off in the previous letters, and he decided that it would be a great opportunity to catch up together, as two normal individuals. And you didn't refuse trying to convince yourself that it was all because of the case, not because you found his jokes funny when he wrote them or when you slowly understood what they were doing, and mostly what he was doing to you and your poor heart. Your cat noticed it too.

When you saw him sitting with a cup of coffee in front of him your heart almost missed a beat. He wasn't wearing his signature hoodie, but a bomber golden jacket as he listened to some music and drummed with his fingers on the table, with his eyes closed. You truly thought about going back home, but he opened his eyes and waved at you. Shit. Breathe in, breathe out and smile.

You sat on the opposite side, looking at him as you took off your jacket. He was strangely silent. You were too. For a split second, you thought it was a trap and looked all around you, a bit nervously. You had your gun with you.

“I'm not trying to kidnap you, relax,” he said with a smirk, “keep that gun in your bag and I'm keeping mine in my pocket.”

“We said no guns today, what about our sight-duel,” you playfully asked.

“We both cheated because we don't trust each other enough, nemesises,” he concluded before sipping some coffee from his cup.

“Yeah, nemesises,” you repeated looking at him for a longer moment than intended before a man came to take your order.

“So, what's up? How's the whole investigation and the case?”

“Yes, I feel good too, nice of you to ask,” you replied as you rolled your eyes and smirked.

“How are you? Have you eaten today? Drank? Took care of yourself?” He asked you as he fluttered his eyelashes. You looked right into his green pearly eyes. Oh shit.

“I'm good, I haven't eaten yet, but I'll be drinking coffee right now, with the guy I should jail, so it's like fine I guess. And you? A casual day off, Billy?”

“I'm enjoying my time with the woman who wasn't first keen on bondage but now,” he started and you sighed knowingly.

“This joke has to stop, I can't do this anymore,” you complained as the waiter put the coffee right in front of you.

“You never tried,” he insisted and you gave him almost a death glare and he began to laugh, “fine, I'll try to stop with the whole bondage thing, but that's one of my best jokes so for so I was sticking to it!”

“I'm sure you can do way better, cocky Four,” you said before sipping some coffee from your cup.

“Yeah, always for such an ungrateful cop as you are. Sure.”

You chuckled, and then you talked. Probably more than intended. He was a funny guy, with beautiful hair and mesmerizing eyes. He was probably too nice to be true, and too nice to be genuine. However, you could tell he was.

But the real problem began when Gina found your mail and couldn't keep her hands to herself when she saw that the letter was from an unknown somebody from the city. And when she opened it, she knew she had to talk to you about it, immediately. So when you came to the station, all happy and sunny she was waiting for you, sitting at your desk with the letter open. And you smelt the rat. A big rat.

“How was your day off,” she asked you with a too wide smile.

“Nice... I guess... Why...?”

“Because you have some mail from Billy, he says that you're a funny cute cop, and that the Ghosts are planning new things. And oh, what the fuck with bondage?” For God's sake, not the bondage.

“Gina, follow me please, I can explain everything...”

“You sure have to, or I'm taking all of this to the boss,” she whispered as she got up.

You had to convince her that all of this, including the personal letter, was a trap set to catch them. That Billy never meant anything to you, that he wasn't even your friend. And these words hurt, especially after the afternoon you shared the previous day, talking about everything and anything and mostly not about the case.

He was just a lost guy who had it rough and who found his way now, by doing what he believed was right. You had it rough too, and wanted to make this world a better place. You were too similar to not get along well. And this was because of that that it did hurt so much to tell that to Gina. That he was only a pawn, you told him so many times that he shouldn't see himself like this yesterday and that he should believe in himself because he would rock this world. And somehow, you had appeased Gina, who had already told Jake about it. And you just hoped that this would end right there.

~~~~

“Our traitor's back online,” One greeted Four as he connected himself to their chatroom.

“Traitor,” Four repeated as he adjusted his headphones.

“Man, you're really trying to fuck our cover up,” Seven asked and Four began to sweat in his little crappy room.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“The 'cute cop' date thing,” Two quoted and Four closed his eyes. He was probably screwed.

He knew that doing this for months wasn't the best idea, and he probably should have told the squad that you were there, in his house, and that he met you yesterday but no, it was his little secret mission. And even more.

“Oh, you mean my solo mission,” he asked carelessly. “I'm trying to save our asses here, no biggie...”

“No biggie,” One repeated sarcastically. “No biggie? Somebody heard your conversation in the coffee shop Four, you're trying to give us away? What's your fucking plan? You want us to kill you? Tell us!”

“Jesus, I'm fucking having it under control,” Four exclaimed. “She's wrapped around my finger, I'm basically trying to have a cop on our side so we won't be bothered!”

“And yeah, no other than the fucking girl, the cute cop leading our fucking case! Genius!”

“One, stay calm,” Two said in a plain tone. “We have to do something before they do.”

“They won't do anything,” Four interrupted her.

“Because of what? You being her boyfriend? Grow up Four, we're not in a fairytale.”

For a moment, he wished he was.

[animecat33]

I’m in a mood, so here’s some an extremely long post with shit conflict that happened on deviantart when i was younger that i’m still petty about and i wanna vent about it because if i wasn’t so young i woldn’t have let people step on me like that

No one should read this, tbh, it’s a fucking horror show out here 

oc: Shinju

When i made her it was the first time one of my ocs had like effort put into it, i designed her, make her backstory, put her in kirigakure, and i spent a long time researching names for her, looking up japanese words that i think would fit her, Ren Takeo

One person commented saying that they had an with the same name, from the same village, though they didn’t mean any harm by saying that, and even said it was fine

Here’s where it gets tricky.

I then got comments and private messages from OTHER PEOPLE telling me to change the name

So, like the weak bitch i was, i changed her name 

Oc: Roxy

I’ve talked about this one before, but i have this sonic oc named Roxy, i loved her, she was a bit edgy but like, queen, 10 years ago we were ALL edgy

I really wanted Roxy to be a lesbian, but i didn’t like, put that in the info, at the time gay ocs we’re really taken very well by the community, plus a few of my art friends were very iffy anytime i implied that some of my ocs might not be 100% straight.

now, i WANTED Roxy to be a lesbian but i was guilt tripped by some dude to roleplay with him, no matter now many time i said i didn’t roleplay, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and I was very easily guilt tripped into eventually saying yes

A roleplay starts with Roxy and his Male wolf characer, John, when we started he assured that they were gonna be friends but one thing lead to another and he pressured me into role playing a sex scene, i was 14, i didn’t want to, didn’t even know how to write that. At that age i hadn’t really even seen porn before, but a few days of mowing down my boundries and he guilt trips me into saying yes.

At that point, he essencially took Roxy and did whatever the hell he wanted with her. Next thing i know, Roxy was married to this male character and they had a baby? I even ended up making some art of them because he kept saying how he was tired of making all the artwork himself.

Thank god, eventually he forgot about me and Roxy for a lot time. The last time i talked to him was on a pm where he warned me he was gonna delete all his ocs, including Roxy and Johns child, i think he wanted me to convince him not to do it but by that time i was older and just said “alright man, see ya”

Thank fuck, that problem solved itself, but i’d be better off not going through it in the first place

The cosplay hellhole

When i first started cosplaying, i posted my pictures to DA too, since there was a cosplay community there, didn’t think anything would happen

When i got my first Harley wig and makeup i was so excited i posted them on deviantart, and they did quite well, tbh. Some people asked for fansigns, and i didn’t even know who those were but, once it was explained to me, i did some for people who requested them, from there it was also fine, but stay tuned, cause it’s gonna bite me in the ass later down the line

I start getting wierd dms, very sexual in nature, which grossed me out, since i was already 20 it wasn’t like, illegal or anything, but there was a pattern of people asking for sexual content followed by “it’s okay if you say no, though” and when i said no, they would be pissed at me, calling me a whore, saying if i didn’t want attention, i wouldn’t cosplay Harley.... keep in mind, all of my photos where from the shoulder up at this point, i muscle through this time, i’ve been harrassed enough to have a lil bit thicker skin.

But over time, the pile up of messages from diferent accounts were getting to me, and i was starting to delete photos.

AND THEN

He said he was embarrassed of having to send me these things but if i wanted the photo taken down i’d have to report it myself, thankfully he also found the direct link to the report page so i didn’t have to dig through the website. Thankfully the report worked and the photo was taken down

I receive a pm from a friend that scared the shit out of me. He was going through this porn website called Xhamster, he recognises someone using one of my fansigns as a photo, now he KNOWS this isn’t me, because i’ve been vocal about not wanting to be sexualized while in cosplay. Someone took one of the fansigns, edited out the words, flipped the image, and photoshopped their own signature on to the sign in hopes of like... getting verified or something?. In short this person was using my photo as if it was a photo of them.

That mixed in with the still incoming pms from creeps made me delete every cosplay photo i’ve ever posted on deviantart.

Years later i did post new cosplay stuff again, now giving a warning right at the top of the description and being very okay with using the block button to my leisure.

I’m taking a long as fuck hiatus from posting on deviantart, it’s been over a year now, but i still go on a block spree when someone breaks the rules i’ve set 

The whole “Luís” saga

Sit down for this one, it’s the weirdest one

I had a friend named Luís, we weren’t super close, in fact he was mean to me a lot, making fun of my english, even though neither of us were native speakers, refering to my home country as “Spain’s bitch”. Sending me cartoon porn when i was underaged was a big red flag that i didn’t even think was a big deal until i was older and thought back on it, like that was fucked up.

One day, i had critiques open, Luís sends a super spammy message and then blocks me. I was like “okay, whatever, i’m tired anyway” and i blocked him back.

THAT is when shit hit the fan

He tries to unblock me and talk to me, when that doesn’t work he makes a secondary account and starts sending me very aggressive pms. I’m was tired of how he acted with me, plus something about him being so desperate to be unblocked didn’t sit right, so i just blocked the new accounts

He made 15 separate accounts, getting more and more angry with each one, i block all 15.

Suddenly i’m getting pms in english and spanish from people i’ve never interacted with, but aparently Luís had told them i was being some sort of monster, some of them backed off after seeing the full picture, the others got blocked

Luís girlfriend was friends with me.

He then threatned to leave her if she didn’t block me.... she left HIM, and now I’M being blamed for that

Someone shared some uuuuhhhh fanart he drew of her after that, it was super sus, it was a comic about him seducing her with a kiss in order to make her hate someone, girl you’re better off without him, jesus christ

Now shit starts moving off of deviantart

He finds my personal facebook, which was NOT disclosed to the public, and starts messaging me, from there he found my twitter, youtube, skype, starts messaging my irl friends, quite a lot of them did not even know english at the time.

In the few messages before i blocked him, i warned him to stop, i warned him he was stalking me online and that shit isn’t okay. THIS DUDE 

this dude replied with “it’s not stalking because i’m younger than you”

BOI

this happened over the course of a year, and it was the first time i ever reported someone, hell it’s the first time i’ve seen a report be successful, because i contact deviantart with a list of everything he’s done, screenshots to prove it, links to his separate accounts where all the comments are ONLY about me

a week later they DELETE THIS MAN’S WHOLE ACCOUNT

I have not heard from him in almost a decade

This is like, the ONE TIME i feel like i won

Aaand well, done, those are the most serious one, there’s some minor shit that’s not worth talking about, but looking back, wow, i used to get a lot of sexual harassment on deviantart huh?

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Pluralistic: 26 Mar 2020 (EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds, the ideology of economics, LoC plugs Little Brother, Canada nationalizes covid patents, Exponential Thread, Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty, record wind power growth, social distancing and other diseases, Badger Masks)

Today's links

EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds: With a deep cut from the NSA's secret listening post.

The ideology of economics: Economics doesn't have "laws" it has "policies."

LoC plugs Little Brother: Open access FTW.

Canada nationalizes covid patents: An Act respecting certain measures in response to COVID-19.

Exponential Threat: Trump threatened to sue media outlets that aired this spot.

Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty: "Millions for plutes, but not one cent for workers."

Record wind-power growth: Covid stimulus could start a Green New Deal.

Social distancing and other diseases: Do we trust IoT thermometer companies, though?

Badger Masks: UW Madison's open facemask design.

This day in history: 2005, 2010, 2015, 2019

Colophon: Recent publications, upcoming appearances, current writing projects, current reading

EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds (permalink)

Telework is a quiet reminder that we live, in some sense, in an age of wonders. As terrible as lockdown is, imagine it without any way to videoconference with your peers and colleagues.

But it's also a moment where we tremble on the precipice of cyberpunk dystopia, when calls for mass surveillance – both for epidemiology and stabilizing states that are bruised and reeling – meet a world where everything is online and amenable to "collection" by spooks.

This is, basically, the moment that EFF has been warning about for 30 years: the moment when the "digital world" and the "real world" fully merge, and where the distinction between "tech policy" and "policy" dissolves.

One way you can help keep this in your colleagues' minds is to use EFF's amazing, free/open graphics as your videoconferencing background (most of these are the creation of the brilliant Hugh D'Andrade).

Now, those are all great, but this one is Room 641A at AT&T's Folsom Street center, where the whistleblower Mark Klein was ordered to build a secret room so the NSA could illegally spy on all US internet traffic.

The ideology of economics (permalink)

Thomas Piketty's "Capital in the 21st Century" advanced a simple, data-supported hypothesis: that markets left to their own will cause capital to grow faster than the economy as a whole, so over time, the rich always get richer.

https://boingboing.net/2014/06/24/thomas-pikettys-capital-in-t.html

He's followed up Capital with the 1000-page "Capital and Ideology" – whose thesis is that the "laws" of economics are actually policies, created to "justify a society's inequalities," providing a rationale to convince poor people not to start building guillotines.

The first ideology of capital was the "trifunctional" system of monarchist France, dividing society into "those who pray," "those who fight," and "those who work."

After the French revolution, we enter the capitalist phase, then social democracies, and now, "meritocracies."

"Meritocracies" invest markets with the mystical power to identify and elevate the worthy, in a kind of tautology: those who have the most are worth the most. You can tell they're worth the most because they have the most.

("That makes me smart" -D. Trump)

In Piketty's conception, "Inequality is neither economic nor technological. It's ideological and political," where "ideology" "refers to a set of a priori plausible ideas describing how society should be structured" (think: Overton Window).

https://bostonreview.net/class-inequality/marshall-steinbaum-thomas-piketty-takes-ideology-inequality

The major part of the book seeks to explain how the post-war social democracies gave way to the grifter meritocracies of today, pulling together threads from across the whole world to tell the tale.

On the way, he described alternatives that were obliterated, and others that were never tried, and shows how "meritocracy" gave us Trump, xenophobia, Brexit, and the Current Situation.

In particular, he's interested in why working class people stopped voting (spoiler: they no longer perceive that elites will pay attention to them irrespective of how they vote) — and what it would take to mobilize them again.

The elites' indifference to working people is grounded in an alliance between the Brahmin Left (educated, well-paid liberals) and the Merchant Right (the finance sector). Notionally leftist parties, like the Democrats, are dominated by the Brahmin Left.

But more than any other, Macron epitomizes this alliance: proclaiming his liberal values while slashing taxes on the wealthy — punishing poor people for driving cars, exempting private jets from his "climate" bill.

Life in a "meritocracy" is especially cruel for poor people, because meritocracies, uniquely among ideologies, blame poor people for poverty. It's right there in the name. French kings didn't think God was punishing peons, rather, that the Lord had put them there to serve.

"The broadly social-democratic redistributive coalitions of the mid-twentieth century were not just electoral or institutional or party coalitions but also intellectual and ideological. The battle was fought and won above all on the battleground of ideas."

As Marshall Steinbaum writes in his excellent review, Piketty's work doesn't just highlight new ideas in economics: it highlights the intellectual poverty of the economics profession and its tunnel vision.

"Economists cannot be allowed to be the arbiters of the intensely political concerns Piketty takes up in the book, and the good news is that there is reason to believe they won't be."

LoC plugs Little Brother (permalink)

Honored and pleased to have my book Little Brother included on the Library of Congress's excellent collection of open-access ebooks in its collection, which you can always access gratis but which may be of especial interest during the lockdown.

https://blogs.loc.gov/thesignal/2020/03/more-open-ebooks-routinizing-open-access-ebook-workflows/

If you enjoyed Little Brother and its sequel Homeland, you might be interested in the third Little Brother book, Attack Surface, which Tor is publishing on Oct 12.

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531

If you're looking for more topical reading, Infodocket's carefully curated list of coronavirus resources is here for you:

https://www.infodocket.com/2020/01/31/2019-novel-coronavirus-resources/

Canada nationalizes covid patents (permalink)

Canada's Parliament has passed Bill C13, "An Act respecting certain measures in response to COVID-19," amending patent law to create automatic compulsory licenses for any inventionused to fight covid, including diagnostics, vaccines, therapies or PPE.

https://www.parl.ca/DocumentViewer/en/43-1/bill/C-13/third-reading

As E Richard Gold writes, it's an "important signal that Canada will not support IP delays…While most firms are helping find solutions, this will prevent those who try to take advantage-by raising prices or limiting supply-or those who cannot deliver to block what is needed."

Exponential Threat (permalink)

"Exponential Threat" is a remarkable – and factual – political ad, one that contrasts Trump's statements on coronavirus with the spread of the disease in America.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkMwvmJLnc0

More remarkable: Trump has threatened to sue the media for airing it, which is a totally cool and normal thing for someone who has sworn a solemn oath to uphold the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to do.

https://assets.donaldjtrump.com/2017/web/hero_images/Redacted_PUSA_Letter.pdf

"In case you needed more, here's an (admittedly incomplete) list of Trump statements on the novel coronavirus and COID-19"

http://www.joeydevilla.com/2020/03/25/exponential-threat-the-covid-19-themed-ad-that-the-trump-pence-campaign-doesnt-want-you-to-see/

Jan. 22: "We have it totally under control. It's one person coming in from China."

Feb. 2: "We pretty much shut it down coming in from China. It's going to be fine."

Feb. 25: "CDC & my administration are doing a GREAT job of handling Coronavirus."

Feb. 25: "I think that's a problem that's going to go away. They have studied it. They know very much. In fact, we're very close to a vaccine." [White House | New York Post]

Feb. 26: "We're going very substantially down, not up."

Feb. 27: "One day it's like a miracle, it will disappear."

Feb. 28: "We're ordering a lot of supplies. We're ordering a lot of, uh, elements that frankly we wouldn't be ordering unless it was something like this. But we're ordering a lot of different elements of medical."

March 2: "You take a solid flu vaccine, you don't think that could have an impact, or much of an impact, on corona?"

March 2: "A lot of things are happening, a lot of very exciting things are happening and they're happening very rapidly."

March 4: "If we have thousands of people that get better just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work – some of them go to work, but they get better."

March 5: "I never said people that are feeling sick should go to work."

March 6: "I think we're doing a really good job in this country at keeping it down… a tremendous job at keeping it down."

March 6: "Anybody right now, and yesterday, anybody that needs a test gets a test. And the tests are beautiful. They are perfect just like the letter was perfect. The transcription was perfect. Right? This was not as perfect as that but pretty good."

March 6: "I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it. Every one of these doctors said, 'How do you know so much about this?' Maybe I have a natural ability. Maybe I should have done that instead of running for president."

March 6: "I don't need to have the numbers double because of one ship that wasn't our fault."

March 8: "We have a perfectly coordinated and fine tuned plan at the White House for our attack on Coronavirus."

March 9: "The Fake News media & their partner, the Democrat Party, is doing everything within its semi-considerable power to inflame the Coronavirus situation."

March 10: "It will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away."

March 13: National Emergency Declaration.

March 17: "I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic."

Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty (permalink)

This Bernie Sanders floor speech in the Senate on the GOP's relentless attempts to punish poor people in the covid relief package is a must-watch

https://www.reddit.com/r/SandersForPresident/comments/fp3my0/bernie_goes_full_sanders_on_the_republicans_for/

tldr: GOP Senators are freaking out because some people in line to get the pittances they're doling out actually earn EVEN LESS than $1k-2k/month, and so they might get a raise in the form of covid relief.

That is, rather than taking the fact that this bare-minimum subsidy package exceeds "normal" income as a wakeup call to raise the minimum wage for the first time since 2009, the GOP is calling for cuts to aid to the most vulnerable Americans.

As Sanders points out, these same Senators had no problem with the Tax Scam, which poured trillions into the accounts of the richest Americans, directly and indirectly through stock-buybacks, which also left US business vulnerable and in need of trillions more today.

Now those bailed-out plutes want workers to risk death to "restart the economy," and the GOP will ensure they'll starve if they don't.

As ever, The Onion nails it:

https://politics.theonion.com/gop-urges-end-of-quarantine-for-lifeless-bipedal-automa-1842461351

"GOP Urges End Of Quarantine For Lifeless Bipedal Automatons That Make Economy Go"

Record wind-power growth (permalink)

As the world's wind-generation capacity increases, you'd expect annual growth to fall proportionately (it's easier to double a very small number than a very big one!), but this year should see the largest proportional growth ever, a 20% increase!

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/mar/25/worlds-wind-power-capacity-up-by-fifth-after-record-year

That number is uncertain (hello, coronavirus), but on the other hand, there's a massive stimulus package in the offing that could be used to restart the economy by saving the planet with renewable energy.

The non-adjusted, pre-virus projection for this year's total growth in wind power was an additional 76GW (to meet climate projections, that number has to rise to 100GW/year, and then to 200GW/year).

Social distancing and other diseases (permalink)

Though the evidence is a little shaky, it appears that social distancing has dramatically reduced the spread of other infectious diseases, like flu.

https://qz.com/1824020/social-distancing-slowing-not-only-covid-19-but-other-diseases-too/

The data comes from an Internet of Shit "connected thermometer" company that (allegedly) anonymizes its data and uses it for health surveillance; they report a massive drop-off in high temps relative to other years and pre-distancing levels.

The claims are plausible, but they're also an ad for an IoT company that sells a product no one needs, so take them with a grain of salt.

I'd be interested in STI transmission after weeks/months of government-recommended masturbation-over-hookups:

https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/doh/downloads/pdf/imm/covid-sex-guidance.pdf

Badger Masks (permalink)

A local hospital asked researchers at the UW Madison Engineering Design Innovation Lab to design them a field-expedient face-shield that could be mass-manufactured to protect its staff from coming cases.

https://www.wired.com/story/tinkerers-created-face-shield-being-used-hospitals/

Using hardware-store parts, the UW makerspace, and teleconferencing with self-isolating collaborators, the team designed an excellent mask, the Badger Shield:

https://making.engr.wisc.edu/shield/

They've manufactured and delivered 1,000 Badger Masks to the hospital and a Ford plant in MI is making 75,000 more this week for Detroit-area hospitals. Here's a technical spec you can follow if you have access to equipment and parts:

https://www.delve.com/assets/documents/OPEN-SOURCE-FACE-SHIELD-DRAWING-v1.PDF

It involves just 3 pieces: polyethylene sheets (laser- or die-cut), an elastic headband, and a 1" thick strip of self-adhesive polyurethane foam. For initial production, Midwest Prototyping used office-supply-store electric staplers for assembly.

The design process started with a teardown of an existing, approved mask, and the project lead, Lennon Rodgers, worked with collaborators to replicate it, sanity-checking successive designs with his wife, an anaesthesiologist.

They started hand-delivering prototypes to the hospital, who refined the design further, swapping in latex-free elastic and lengthening the shield. Tim Osswald from UW used his polymer engineering expertise to find a supplier who could create a custom die.

Now, more than 1M Badger Masks have been sought, with manufacturers like St Paul's Summit Medical tooling up to meet demand.

Other designs are popping up across America. San Francisco's Exploratorium is making 200+ shields/day using its own makerspace.

This day in history (permalink)

#15yrsago If the Constitution was a EULA https://web.archive.org/web/20050330012000/http://slate.msn.com/id/2115254/

#10yrsgo Discarded photocopier hard drives stuffed full of corporate secrets https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2010/03/18/hightech_copy_machines_a_gold_mine_for_data_thieves.html

#5yrsago TPP leak: states give companies the right to repeal nations' laws https://wikileaks.org/tpp-investment/press.html

#5yrsago Woman medicated in a psychiatric ward until she said Obama didn't follow her on Twitter https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/woman-held-in-psychiatric-ward-after-correctly-saying-obama-follows-her-on-twitter-10132662.html

#5yrsago Sandwars: the mafias whose illegal sand mines make whole islands vanish https://www.wired.com/2015/03/illegal-sand-mining/

#5yrsago Australia outlaws warrant canaries https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/03/australian-government-minister-dodge-new-data-retention-law-like-this/

#5yrsago As crypto wars begin, FBI silently removes sensible advice to encrypt your devices https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20150325/17430330432/fbi-quietly-removes-recommendation-to-encrypt-your-phone-as-fbi-director-warns-how-encryption-will-lead-to-tears.shtml

#1yrago Article 13 will wreck the internet because Swedish MEPs accidentally pushed the wrong voting button https://medium.com/@emanuelkarlsten/sweden-democrats-swedish-social-democrats-defeat-motion-to-amend-articles-11-13-731d3c0fbf30

#1yrago EU's Parliament Signs Off on Disastrous Internet Law: What Happens Next? https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/03/eus-parliament-signs-disastrous-internet-law-what-happens-next

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: Slashdot (https://slashdot.org/), Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/), Late Stage Capitalism (https://www.reddit.com/r/LateStageCapitalism/).

Currently writing: I'm getting geared up to start work my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last month, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs"; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: Data – the new oil, or potential for a toxic oil spill? https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/03/23/data-the-new-oil-or-potential-for-a-toxic-oil-spill/

Upcoming appearances:

Quarantine Book Club, April 1, 3PM Pacific https://www.eventbrite.com/e/quarantine-book-club-cory-doctorow-tickets-100931360416

Museums and the Web, April 2, 12PM-3PM Pacific https://mw20.museweb.net/

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020. https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a new introduction by Edward Snowden: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250774583

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When live gives you SARS, you make sarsaparilla -Joey "Accordion Guy" DeVilla

[mydearsaddiary]

Chapter 5- All’s fair in love and war PART 2

Trigger warning: mention of drug use and sexual harassment, +16

(Link to part 1: https://mydearsaddiary.tumblr.com/post/619859528811495424/neil-season-3-part-5-trigger-warning-16-this)

The Mayor’s reaction to my presence wasn’t of shock or even surprise. I felt the quick motion of his eyes down and up my body that made me feel dirty, and then he locked his dark eyes in mine- Oh, what do we have here?- He said and I almost choked. It’s never good when they say that, is it?

-Mayor Adler…!-I looked at door that was just a few feet away from me, but now so far away with the tall figure in front of it- I am a friend of Vera’s. She invited me over for tea but had to leave in a hurry, so she said I could let myself out-I started to make my way around him- So you caught me going home, if you don’t mind…

As I reached for the liberty of the outside world, his hand forcefully shut the door. I couldn’t explain it, but this fear crawled into my body. My heart started racing and my breathing heavy- H-Huh…-I was planning to say something but I didn’t know what to say

-I know who you are, Miss Granger-His eyes looked into mine again, although they wandered to places I didn’t want them to- My wife kindly informed me you were coming. After all I have to keep a woman like Vera in a pretty tight leash. Women like her and you think they can act like men, do whatever they want- He put his hand on my neck grabbing it, by impulse my hands were on his hand, trying to pull it away. He wasn’t pressing hard, but it wasn’t a gentle hand either. Of course that didn’t matter because it was unwelcome- All you’re missing is a strong, conventional man to teach you your place. In the end that’s what you women have to do, whatever a man who possesses you desire

Adler was like a colonizer. Whatever he put his hands on he assumed he owned it and could do with it as he desired. Those hands were on me. I was never the quiet or submissive girl, I praised myself for being modern. However I couldn’t do much against a man so much stronger than me. I thought about my gun in my holster, but my arms shook so much he would overpower me either way. It was dangerous to let him know I was armed- Please, let me go- It was all I could say

-I love it when people say please to me. It means they’re afraid. Are you scared of me, Miss Granger?

I didn’t say anything this time, my mind was racing, and my body was on fire due to adrenaline. He let go of my throat and I coughed a little, reaching for the door again.

But for the second time my heart leaped when he grabbed my upper arm pulling myself towards him- I wasn’t done with you, yet. I wanted to talk still- This time he pushed my body against the wall, his hand on my back. He had a funny way of wanting to talk. His firm hands told me he was used to getting what he wanted, by cooperation or by force- You know I must be aware of everything you do, including your uncle’s illegal activities and how he put you to manage his little gang

I breathed slowly. I knew he knew, but I had to calm myself and think if I was going to get out of this situation- Are you threatening me of something?- I snarled

-On the contrary. I didn’t marry Vera because I love her, but because she’s of use to me- I didn’t care much for Vera being used, since I knew she was using the Mayor for his title. They deserved each other- But you, Miss Granger. You’re made of sterner stuff- I felt the chills when he said that close to my ear so I could feel this breath- You would be a perfect wife. How does it sound? MC Adler

-Keep dreaming, Mayor- I tried to get free, but soon froze when his other hand that wasn’t holding me travelled south on my body squeezing an inappropriate place. First I felt like screaming, then the fact that he was pulling my dress up and I could feel his hand under my clothing woke in me a fire I didn’t know I had. I wanted to scream, cry, run… All at once. However my experience in the past didn’t allow me to just freeze. I was armed, for god’s sake, I had to do something! I’ll be damned before I let him go through with this.

I kicked him in the shin as strongly as I could and he backed away wincing in pain. I took the opportunity to open the door and run out, not allowing myself to glance back. I just saw the car and kept running. However I heard the door open again. This time I heard a shot, pain and then I was on the floor

I needed only a couple of seconds to look back and realize my calf bled out of a bullet hole in it. My eyes darted to Mayor Adler walking towards me with a gun in his hand. I got up, even if my leg hurt the adrenaline in me was so big I ran to the Studebaker. I was lucky enough he missed the other shots. Once I was in the car he still shot in my direction but the car was armored. I drove away as fast I could, trying to convince myself this wasn’t just a bad dream

I parked at the Ice Box and limped inside my safe haven. I pulled at chair from one of the tables and let myself fall on it. I breathed loudly for some seconds. I could feel my throat hurting, the pain on my left calf. But what hurt more was still feeling the unwelcome touch of the Mayor on my throat, arm, back, under my dress on my thighs and rear.

I closed my eyes and as the adrenaline left my body, everything that had happened settled in. The waterworks started and they didn’t seem to stop. I was thankful for having the whole place for myself. I wanted to go get a drink but when I tried to get up my leg hurt too much. So I just stayed still and allowed myself to cry without anyone seeing. It was at least half an hour before I stopped. My nose was stuffed and my head hurt

But eventually I stopped. After some more minutes my face was only slightly red when Vince and Cliff came barging in laughing and got serious as they took the view. I realized I must’ve looked awful. My clothes were dirty and ripped at the seam where Mayor Adler had forced his way in, I had bruises on my arm and neck and my left leg stood straight out while my calf bled on the floor

-Doll!- Vince said loudly coming to me- What the hell happened?- He said as Cliff went to the phone, calling Neil

-I went to Vera’s house for tea.- My voice had that roughness in it after you cry- Snooped around when Donovan gave her the call. Everything was going according to plan until Mayor Adler showed up himself-I said angrily looking at him- The snake is worse than Vera. He caught me in the house and was kind enough to say some threats and…

-He did this to you?- He pointed at my calf then up to the bruises. He got up and formed fists with his hands going for his gun- Now I’m goin’ to crack a few skulls- He said in a low, almost haunting voice

-V-Vince!-I yelled and Cliff, already off the phone, grabbed him- You can’t kill the mayor!

-I’m tired of the pacifism, MC!-He looked at me- We can’t just stand here and hope to solve everything without violence! It’s bootlegging, it’s the gangster business! You can’t always keep your hands clean

-You’re right!- I yelled and he seemed surprised- We are gonna have to get our hands dirty this time. Still, we can’t just be careless! We can’t just go in guns blazing and all that. We still need to outsmart them, even if we have to resort to violence.

He nodded, breathing more calmly now- Alright.

And then Neil barged in the door. His eyes went straight to me. I expected to see anger in them, but even in all its seriousness I could just see worry as he grabbed his bag from behind the bar and started to clean my leg

-Neil…-I started

-Don’t think you’re off the hook here-His stern voice said- We’ll talk about this later. Now, what did you find out?

I told them everything that had happened, skipping the part where Mayor Adler invaded my dignity in ways that made me wish I could cut off the skin he touched.

-I know where the documents that incriminate The Broiler are. The Mayor has documents incriminating all of Chicago. I didn’t have the chance to get to them thought because…-I took papers, now all crumpled up, and showed them- Because I only had time to get these instead. Documents on the Ice Box and everyone involved in it

Neil sighed looking at me- At least you know where they are

-Which means I’m gonna have to go back there again

-It’s out of the question, MC-Neil said, I winced softly when he stitched the wound on my leg and finished caring for it

-I’m the only one who could have access to that place, Neil. I get that it is dangerous but we have to do what we have to stop th-

-IT IS… OUT. OF THE QUESTION!- He yelled. A tone of voice I had never heard before. Me, Vince and Cliff looked stunned at him because of it. I don’t think anybody had ever heard him yell. No one said anything for a while and the silence even became uncomfortable

After a while he got up and announced the both of us were going home and asked Cliff to handle the Ice Box that night. Before I could protest he picked me up bridal style and carried me out

Not long after we were in Neil’s living room. He sat me down on his couch and poured a drink for himself, and then another, and another…

-Are you going to get drunk, now?- I asked- Or maybe you could yell again-

-I’m sorry- It was what he said instead- I’m sorry I yelled- He looked at me- But I walk in and you have bruises all over you, you’ve been shot and you… You…-He recomposed himself before he continued- I could see on your face you were crying! What are you going to do next, get yourself a knife between the ribs?

I thought back to when I first told him I was infiltrating John Bailey and Louis Tibbs’ circle.

“I’ll be alright” He said “As long as we work this stunt so you don’t get hurt”

“Haven’t you figured out I’m tough as nails now?” I replied cocky

“I know you think you are, but I don’t want to put that to the test. Can’t risk it, now that I know I’m in love with you”

Neil loves me. I love him. I felt guilt now, more than anything. I came back wounded this time, of course he had a hard time taking it. The guilt grew inside me as I realized I was putting myself in harm’s way, thinking I’d be protecting Neil and everyone this way. However I realized what it’d do to him if the worst had happened. I lowered myself letting me cry again

Why was I crying so much these days? I hated it! I felt so sensitive. Soon he was beside me, holding me in his arms

-I’m sorry too, Neil. I know I haven’t been really careful and I’m sorry- I hugged him tightly

He kissed my forehead, then he put his finger on my chin gently pulling it up, kissing me so gently, as if I was the most precious thing he ever held.

That was a welcoming touch, one I wished for the rest of my life. It wasn’t just physical, it was spiritual. He touched me in a way nobody else could, in all the ways you could touch someone.

I kissed him back, longingly. Nothing made me feel better and safer than to be with him

-I know there’s something you’re not telling me- He said, almost in a whisper- You told me once that anything I needed to say I could, that you wouldn’t judge. It’s the same for me. So, please tell me

I breathed heavily, looking into his eyes- Mayor Adler, he…- I struggled

-It doesn’t seem like Vera to cause bruises or shooting. He did this, didn’t he?-He said lowly, but his tone indicated immense concealed anger- Your arms and throat, he hurt you.

-He did…- I said in a weak voice- But that wasn’t all of it- I looked down pulling my dress up my thighs, revealing my bruised skin under my dress, in places only Neil had touched before. Realization dawned in his face as he put two and two together and understood his touch on me wasn’t just to hurt

I felt him shiver and almost grow, like an angry bear, ready to kill. Neil didn’t get this angry and as a doctor he wasn’t a threat to anybody’s life. But if looks could kill, Mayor Adler would be having a stroke right now wherever he was- That bastard- He held me tightly again. Almost possessively- I’m not leaving you alone anymore, do you understand? Everything we do, we do together. Until Vera and Mayor Adler are done with, I cannot risk anything else happening to you

-Okay- I didn’t hesitate. He looked at me surprised. He probably expected me to fight back or say something like “I don’t need to be watched over”, but that wasn’t what I was thinking- I’m going to be your wife, and you’ll be my husband. If you’re my partner in life, it means… We’re also partners in crime aren’t we?- I held his hand tightly- I’m sorry I’ve been putting on a brave face in front of you. I need your help. Will you help me beat Hurricane Vera and Adler together?

He looked at me for a few seconds before saying something- Of course, MC. You didn’t even have to ask. That’s why it’s called a gang, you know? You don’t have to do everything on your own, but you never listen to anyone with that cracked skull

I smiled, kissing him again- I could take a break from all of it though. How about…- I picked up a magazine I knew I left on the side table and opened it up- Picking the flowers for the wedding?

He looked at me, about to say some snappy remark about how he’d rather stab himself than pick roses or lilies, but he caught himself and opened a smile- Alright, yes. Flowers sound good

1917

Somewhere in the Atlantic, in a long slow ship to France

-Are you nervous?- Alton said, pulling me out of my thoughts. I had honestly lost count of how many days, or maybe months, we had been in this ship. I was nervous about certain things. It was my first time out of the U.S. Gosh, it was my first time out of Massachusetts. I knew where I was going and why, but I knew I was ready for it. I knew me and Alton were going to be okay because we had experience. In that sense I wasn’t scared.

However when you’re taking part in something as grand as the Great War itself, you start pondering. Here I was, sitting in uniform, a medic badge on my arm, surrounded by many other soldiers. All of us, making our way across the Atlantic. Away from the safe haven that was America and into the dangers of Europe. I didn’t know what came over me and I knew it was childish, but I was excited.

-Neil!- Alton said again- Stop daydreaming and answer my question!-My best friend said. He was tall and pale just as me, but the dark of his eyes and hair contrasted my appearance otherwise

-I guess not. I’m not nervous, I’m just tired of waiting this long-I played around with a knife in my hands

-You can’t way to get home and get married to Lillie, can you? You’ll start making babies as soon as you’re back

I laughed at him- Hey, why don’t you worry about your own girl?

-Huuuh… Because I don’t have one-He sat by me- So I’ll just have to be nosy about your life instead

-I heard French girls are friendly enough-I said, this time lighting up a cigarette- And I heard they love soldiers

-Yeah, that’s just stuff the other people say- He dismissed it with his hand- Can I ask you something?- I looked at him with interest- Why did you propose to Lillie?

-There’s a couple of reasons. My family was always talking about her, I knew they approved of her. We have known each other for years and she’s friendly. We could get along well. Then she is also very attractive which is a bonus- I hesitated for a few seconds- Then I guess I rushed it a little bit because I was leaving, and I thought if I had a motivation, a girl to come back home to… That’d make things easier- I looked at him- I do plan to take care of her when I get back and if I have to marry within the high society, Lillie is as good as they come. I think we could build a good life together and raise good children

-And of course you didn’t want anybody taking her while you were away- He teased and I laughed, then he continued- Do you love her?

The question surprised me, it took me a few minutes to recompose myself- I… I guess so, yeah. When she asked I did say I loved her…

-That didn’t ring very sincere-He said it in a low tone- But I’m not judging, really.

I thought about it for a few seconds- I guess I’m not in love with her, but I know I can learn to. She’s a good person. Besides, who in high society marries for love, Alton? It’s all a transaction, something to appear in the papers and build reputation and pass the name along. Hopefully, you find somebody who you can work with and learn to love.

-I guess so, but… You may call me an idiot-He smiled shyly- But when I’m home from the war, I want to marry for love. She can be the poorest girl you’ve ever seen, a small town girl who grew up in a small town house in the middle of nowhere and her parents could have five bucks in their pockets…-He was smiling now- As long as she makes me happy, why does it matter all that jazz about she having to be perfect for my family?

-You were always more courageous than I ever was. - I said, admired by my best friend yet again

-I always did know that. Besides, your parents would probably throw a fit if you ever brought a low-class girl and said you were going to marry her - He laughed with me, but then got serious to continue talking- But… I do wish the same for you, you know. If you are sure Lillie will make you happy… Then go for it. But I-

-Hey, don’t worry Alton. You know Lillie, she’s great. We’ll work it out, I’m sure-I smiled to reassure him

-Alright, I just worry about your thick head sometimes. Especially whether you’ll be happy after you go back

-After we go back! Besides, somebody needs to be there when you bring a poor girl to meet your parents, to keep them from sawing your head off

He laughed again- I don’t who she’ll be yet. But even if you already made up your mind. I’m sure there’s a girl out there who would make you crazy about her, I’m telling you. You could drink all the bourbon in the world and she’d still be there- He tapped his own head- That’s the kind of girl I’m talking about

I sighed shaking my head- Not me, Alton. What are you expecting?-I teased now- That there’s the perfect girl somewhere, waiting for me?

-Yes, she’ll be everything but high-society!- He started to joke- She’ll not just be low-class and come from the middle of nowhere-He pointed a finger at me- She’ll be the boss of ya- I laughed as he continued on- She’ll talk back to everything you say, she’ll take none of your sass! She’ll be a modern one, talking loud and everything, giving out orders, she’ll even have a job outside the house. No housewife business, she’ll stand up to you and be on your level too

-Even if my parents would ever allow that- I crossed my arms- What makes you think I’d marry such girl?

-That’s it, dear friend, you won’t want to. But she’ll be so stuck in your head, you’d have to drink yourself to a coma to forget her. Even so, she’d be in your dreams. And she’ll be the hottest dame you’ve ever seen. She’ll even dare to show her ankles around- He laughed and then sat by me again- Well, that’s the kind of girl I’m hoping for

I laughed at him- Well, you’re expectations are so low- I joked- Or so high, I’m not sure. Either way, if that was the case, she’d be the complete opposite of Lillie.

-A girl like Lillie ain’t for me. To be honest I didn’t even consider her for you-He stared at me- But you’ve decided to keep the tradition going. The conventional, beautiful, quiet and feminine dame. She’ll take you places in the high-society… She’ll be the perfect wife and you’ll always have your peace and quiet

-Peace and quiet will always win for me-I offered him a cigarette this time and he took it

-Whatever you say, buddy, whatever you say-He said shaking his head

Same year, somewhere in… Columbus, Ohio

-Well, that’ll teach him to never yell at me again- I said- My name is MC Granger and don’t you forget that!-I yelled before starting to walk home

-What are you doing, MC? Scaring the boys off ya again?- Edith said. Her and Hazel soon joined me as we walked home from school

-Tomorrow is finally my tenth birthday-I yelled excited- I’m gonna be a big girl, and Joe Dixon was laughing at me just because he’s eleven! And then there’s Millicent who just has to have thrown the best party, now who’s gonna want to come to mine?!

-MC, there’s a war going on in Europe and people are dying! And you’re worrying about your stupid birthday party- Edith started

-War this, war that, I’m finally gonna be a big girl!-I crossed my arms- It’s time for me to start looking for my husband

-You don’t become a woman until you-She lowered her voice to a whisper this time-Bleed.

-Ew, Edith! Just because you did last month doesn’t mean I will!

-Well, if you want to find a husband and become a big girl, you need that to happen first

I looked at her, this time my eyes went wide- Really?!

-It’ll happen for you soon!

-Well, until them I can at least imagine! Like I already know I’m gonna marry a rich man. Momma said so

-According to Momma we’ll all marry rich men-Edith replied

-You guys worry too much about boys- Hazel said-They’re just plain mean and gross!

-We’re talking about older boys, Hazel-I said- Like, when they’re ten or eleven. They’re basically men then! I already know I’m gonna marry a rich men and he’ll buy me everything I want

-That’s all you care about?-Edith said- What about how he’ll treat ya?

-Of course he’s gonna treat me well!- I replied

-Well, what if he doesn’t? They’re all mean-Hazel repeated herself

-If he doesn’t treat me nice,-I turned my hands into fists and started punching the air- He’ll wish he never messed with MC Granger!

____

Author’s notes: Thank you so much for reading this chapter! Coming up, the gang discovers that the pacifism of past season is really over. We’ll be seeing a lot more fights and action when it comes to Mayor Adler. He and Vera are our main villain duo! Neil’s mother and Lucille (and her husband) will be coming to Chicago, so we’ll be seeing a lot of wedding planning!

Thank you!!

Candy, My Dear Diary (06/02/2020)

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

7 Days to Die - Part 1

Part 1: Surviving

Pairing: none to start with

Warnings: zombie hordes, language, injuries, scary situation, mentions of death and destruction.

Word count: 1,205

Summary: Town after town, horde after horde, the reader is trying to find a safe haven. Finding two scavengers who kindly take her in their company, maybe humanity isn’t doomed.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

7 Days to Die Masterlist

Mobile Masterlist

a/n: This is all un’beta’d, all mistakes are my own. But I hope you enjoy none-the-less.

~

Almost every car she got into to hijack was out of gas, she’s not the only survivor trying to get across the country.

All of this happened so suddenly, she even remembered how it started where she’s from. She was at work and someone really wanted in the café after closing. After bashing their head into the glass door, with no effects visibly noticed he came in and killed the first two employees that tried to subdue him and get him out. She ran for her life after that. Even narrowly escaping her hometown, the city of Lincoln Nebraska, not as big as Omaha but big enough to be a living hell to escape from.

Now she got so far north, she thinks she could be in Canada by the looks of the landscape. Beautiful mountainous landscape. Her phone, still working revealed it to be a rural area west of Vancouver.

As she walked the streets of a small rural town, she heard the sounds of a possible horde. Rounding a corner she saw the small horde of them. She remained quiet, noticing they didn’t see her. How could they? They’re dead. Though undead, the sense of sight has died but their sense of smell and hearing has heightened.

But a gust of wind hit them, giving them a big whiff of her scent.

“Shit.” She mutters under her breath.

The first walker in the group starts running after the scent, as did the entire herd.

“Time to put that cardio to work girl.” She coached herself as she took off.

The horde seemed to just grow and grow as she ran down the empty, lifeless road. A walker got close by nearly side swiping her, trying to flank her.

She focus’s on her escape, pushes herself harder the closer they got.

“Jared! Time to go!” she heard.

Seeing two men running out of an alleyway just as frantic as she was getting away from the horde.

“Jensen, there’s someone!” Jared shouted.

Jensen takes his hunters rifle and begins shooting some walkers to give her a cushion.

“Come on!” Jared waved her to join.

She didn’t question it.

She managed to reach the two men.

“Jensen, let’s go!” Jared shouts.

Jensen reloads his rifle as he turns to run away. Only reloading what he could before sprinting with Jared and Y/N.

They come to a fence, no gate in sight to allow them to go around the fence. But they see a whole big enough for two giants and Y/N.

Jensen crawls under first, lifting the fence a bit, Y/N goes through next.

The horde closes in, Jared hurries as fast as he could to get his pack on the other side before crawling.

Jensen didn’t need to be asked, he started shooting walkers.

“Come on Jared!” Y/N shouts, grabbing for his hand to help him out.

He started to yell as he kicked the few walkers that got a hold of his legs. But he got through the fence, nonetheless.

“You okay brother, they didn’t bite you did they?” Jensen drilled.

“No, I don’t think so. I didn’t feel it. I just freaked out mostly.” He said.

“Yeah, I would too.” Jensen says.

“And who do we owe the pleasure of joining our company?” Jensen asks kindly looking over at Y/N.

“Y/N.” She says. Clearly freaked out she just came close to being zombie chow.

“Y/N, this is—”

“I know who you are, I seen your show. Can we just get going?” she asked.

“Sure thing, lets get going.” Jensen says, picking up Jared’s pack for him. Jared seemed to be out of it, in his head.

“Maybe you could help us carry our loot.” Jensen asks, as he picked up a medic kit.

“Yeah.” She says, picking up what she could carry.

And they headed out on the paved road before turning on a dirt road into the woods.

Where are these guys taking me? She wondered.

 “According to the map, there’s a hold out not far from here.” Jensen says looking at the map.

“Are you guys from, like, a local settlement or something?” she asked.

“Oddly enough yeah, well it’s not close. It’s a few days walk, on a good day.” Jensen answers.

“Okay, how far is not far from the hold out?” Jared asked. “I’m exhausted man.” He adds.

“Right there, you can see it from here.” Jensen points.

From the dirt road, between some trees even with the sun going down she could see the cabin Jensen was talking about. Seeing the dark solid building behind the dark green trees that somehow are as alive as anything in the forest. Not even the undead can kill the forest.

They continued until they finally reached the cabin.

“Wait here.” Jensen says, drawing a pistol from his waistband.

Jared and Y/N waited on the porch of the small hunter cabin. Jensen headed inside; gun drawn as he searched the cabin for any signs of unwanted life.

“Clear!” he shouted as he entered the main room.

Jared and Y/N eagerly entered to get out of the brisk October night.

“I’m gonna clean up, I feel gross.” Jared says.

“You don’t look so hot, how about hit the hay, I’ll take watch.” Jensen says, giving Jared’s back a pat as he walk past Jensen.

“So, how’d you guys end up here in Canada?” Y/N asked.

“Wrapped up our show when the outbreak happened. It happened in Texas long ago, my wife and kids got here before it broke out here, same for Jared’s family, they’re up here to at our camp.” Jensen explained.

“What about you, how’d you end up here?” he asked.

“Just trying to find a safe haven from this mess. My home in Nebraska totally destroyed, it was a war zone of soldiers, citizens and walkers. My family didn’t make it.” she says. “Raiders.” She adds.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He sympathizes. “Raiders are just as bad up here than anywhere else.” He says.

“I just want to be around living humans, not undead ones.” She says.

“I feel ya there, well, you are more than welcome to join our camp.” Jensen offers. “Don’t laugh, but everyone goes by nicknames there. Misha, we call him Cas.” He says.

She giggles. “That’s awesome.” She goes.

Jensen smiles, agreeing.

“Get some sleep Y/N, we got a long walk tomorrow, and I need you well rested.” Jensen says.

She nods. “I definitely need more than a couple of hours a night.” She says.

“I’ll keep you safe,” he says, as she settles for the couch.

He grabs a blanket from his large pack, unrolling it he lays it over her. “Get some rest sweetheart.” He says.

She hums with a smile. Feeling safe for once.

 Jared gets ready to lay down, he notices his leg with a nasty scratch. Turning a bright red, showing signs of a quick infection. Even signs of dead flesh already developing around the cuts in the flesh.

Looking up from his leg, with an anxious feeling he is infected. But shaking the thought with, the fence probably scratched him as he got up to soon or something.

He puts antiseptic and a bandage wrap around the scratch and tries to sleep for the night.

~

Feedback is much appreciated! Tags are closed

Jensen Tags:

@luci-in-trenchcoats, @supernatural-jackles, @becs-bunker, @backseat-of-deans-67chevy, @salt-n-burn-em-all​, @moonlight-on-her-skin​, @mlovesstories​, @winchesters-favorite-girl​

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 10/3/2020

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 16X04

Sorry for the lateness everyone! My friend and I always watch Grey’s on Friday together, but she was away so we watched it on Sunday instead. Okay, now that that’s out of the way onto the recap and review! I liked this episode overall! There were definitely some things that pissed me off about it, but on the whole I liked it.

The beginning of the episode bugged me. Remind me again why I’m supposed to like DeLuca? He’s always trying to get Meredith to play hooky. I hope Bailey does fire him. He deserves it. We then find out via Amelia and Maggie that the website Mer wrote to took her ideas, created a story around it, and attributed it to her! Yikes!

We then cut to an adorable Jolex scene of the two of them laughing in bed as the read Mer’s article. I love them! A trauma comes into Grey Sloan, but the patient refuses treatment because he’s seen the article the website published. Owen has the ambulance take him to Pac North. There’s a continuity error here. Owen says that Pac North is closest. Previously it’s always been stated that Seattle Pres and (pre-merger) Mercy West were the closest hospitals to Grey Sloan. How did Pac North suddenly become closer to Grey Sloan than Seattle Pres?

We find out that from the other residents that after being fired Qadri moved to Michigan to work in a hospital there. Good for her! I’m happy for both her character and the actress, but I will miss her. When Webber shows Alex the article Alex sticks up for Mer and takes her side. Alex is always on Mer’s side not matter what. I love that about him. That’s real friendship right there. The trauma cases in this episode are both horrifying and hilarious at the same time in true Grey’s fashion. The case where a man fell out of a plan onto a random university student and dowsed her boyfriend in blood in particular was really really bizarre! Her poor boyfriend! He is going to need so much therapy after this!

Somehow Bailey names DeLuca Chief Resident after the previous one quits after the article comes out. How is DeLuca Chief Resident? He can barely do his job! Plus, Bailey won’t even listen to him as he tries to tell her the real story! Shaking my head. Bailey was a annoying this season and is being a real jerk this season. She’s getting really hard to like. Also DeLuca’s character continues to be extremely inconsistent. It seems like they just write whatever they want to fit the moment regardless of whether that makes sense or not.

Tom is a complete ass this episode and he went way way too far! I loved his character last season and was super excited when he was made a regular. Now I don’t like him at all. He’s a jerk with no depth. Having his heartbroken has really done a number on this guy! Not that his behaviour is Teddy’s fault mind you he’s choosing to be a jerk. This storyline also seems odd considering Tom is a father, lost his child, and was excited to be Allison’s step dad. Why is he okay torturing this kid and her family for publicity?

I loved that they included Cristina in this episode and showed her and Mer texting! ‘Move to Switzerland before Bailey kills you in your sleep!’ Haha too funny! And she’s right too! It’s nice to see Amelia happy and healthy and to see her, Maggie, and Mer getting along and supporting each other even when they don’t agree. I missed that last season. It’s also nice to see Maggie and Teddy getting along.

And DeLuca’s back to being an ass! He yells at Schmitt for taking a phone call while meanwhile he himself has done tons of illegal and immoral things that were so much worse and completely unjustified. On top of that, Schmitt isn’t doing anything wrong. He’s convincing a patient whose a family member of his to not cancel their surgery. That’s a good thing and good for the hospital. What is DeLuca worried about her exactly? It’s not as if there are reports or people taking pictures of their actions.

The scene with Ben and Bailey made me laugh. Poor Ben! He didn’t know what to do! What he prepped for was not what he got! Also of note, Helm is still infatuated with Meredith. She really needs to let that go! I loved Jackson’s line, “Added bonus!” He really got the best lines in this episode. I also loved his line, “I am the Foundation.” Tell him Jackson!

I was really sad when they lost the freak accident patient. She didn’t deserve that. No one does. Her poor boyfriend. The book the boyfriend talks about at the end appears to be a reference to the best selling novel The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It’s an excellent book and I highly recommend it.

I loved all of the Link and Amelia scenes! They are hands down my favourite new couple. As Maggie and Amelia comment they are really well matched. Amelia is very high strung and anxious and Link is very calm and sturdy and thus he can calm her down and she can help him see the serious side of things without being such a complete downer. Amelia’s relationship with Owen was always rocky in part because they are both very high strung, damaged, and mentally unwell people.

Link is mentally stable and very relaxed. He’s perfect for Amelia in so many ways. And now that Amelia is finally on the path to wellness and can acknowledge what has happened to her they work! I loved their whole gravity blanket scene. It was so cute! I loved Link’s confession that he loves her and that he wants to tell her and name the feeling because people can fall out of the sky (literally) and accidentally hurt other people so there’s no point trying to avoid pain. Be still my heart!

Towards the end of the episode Alex recruits Owen and thus begins the great Pac North migration! The song cover they use in Jackson’s surgery is really interesting! I’m glad Mer apologized to Bailey, but the question is will it be enough? I’m glad she tried. I liked Owen’s line, “Your high horse has no legs to stand on!” LOL! We find out at the end of the episode the most shocking piece of news yet. That Bailey is both menopausal and pregnant. WTF?!?! What the hell? What is with the pregnancies this season!?!?! I really don’t know what to make of this storyline.

So let’s talk about my favourite part of the episode! It came right at the end when Meredith ran into DeLuca as she was leaving the hospital. She explained what was going on and DeLuca was a completely unsupportive dick head to her and she finally realized that not only does she not need anymore enemies right now SHE DOES NOT NEED THIS CRAP!!! And I was like FUCK YES!!!!!! You’re damn right she doesn’t! Meredith does not need this crap! From anyone! One of my biggest complaints about Derek was how unsupportive and melodramatic he was. And here we have DeLuca doing the exact same thing!

She also realized (finally) that DeLuca doesn’t really know her or get her which has been an issue from the beginning. He likes the idea of Meredith not the reality. The reality is messy and complicated and comes with a lot of baggage which includes kids, a dead husband, nosy sisters, a best friend that hates him, and a big family of people who are largely indifferent to his existence. For the love of God, let this be the breakup!!!! Let this be the end! Please!

Onto next week! It looks like Bailey tries to break the news to Ben, but he’s out cold! And Meredith FINALLY verbalizes what we’ve all been saying about DeLuca!!! Thank goodness! Amelia realizes she’s needs to get to know Link and his family better and Richard and Gemma have breakfast and things get intimate! Oh boy!

Until next time!

[buddha-in-disguise]

A full of fucking swearing long post about the shitstain that is Dominic Cummings. Plus where I can find them, at the end I will link fucking sources, just in case anyone wants to try and say otherwise.

Also, if you do start @ me over him, I'm blocking your fucking cunt of an arse. Clear enough?

Good. Then let's begin.

As a nation, we can be a fairly mild mannered lot. At least collectively. But as of now, the majority of Britons are a mass of anger. So much so, I've even agreed with pundits like Piers Fucking Morgan! That alone is distressing enough, but Dominic Cummings has pissed off just about everyone.

But first a little background on this heaping pile of shit.

Dominic Cummings was one of the main instigators of Leave Campaign in regards Brexit. Now for those who don't know or haven't cared until now, not only were they found to be in breach of the electoral law, Dominic himself was also found in contempt of Parliament when they tried to find out if Vote Leave used fake news to help achieve their goal.

To add to this, he took around 200k of subsidies from the EU for his properties. So a known lying fucking hypocrite.

Even before that, he was advisor to Gove, that spineless fucking weasel who has been out today spouting even more fucking bollocks over this. Funny that.

Don't think for a minute being Gove's Special Advisor meant Cummings was liked by others in the Tory Party. Cummings was pretty much despised by a lot in Government at the time. David 'Pig fucker' Cameron called him a career psychopath.

Fast forward to 2019. Cummings is now Special Advisor to another spineless fucking cunt known as the Prime Minister Boris Johnson. BJ was never in control. Anyone watching what was going on knew that the moment Cummings had Javid's one aide uncermoniously marched out of her job, using armed police no less.

Only problem was, he had no authority to do that.

But never fear, BJ decided to change the rules, so lo and behold, he didn't break any rules (seeing a pattern here yet?)

So fast forward to the last few days. Now newspapers were reporting that Dominic Cummings drove his COVID-19 symptomatic wife, with a 4 year old in the same enclosed vehicle, some 260 miles to his parents location in Durham.

Oh now comes the fun part, and why as a nation we are all beyond extremely miffed, and fucking pissed off!

The offical guidance was anyone in a household with someone displaying symptoms (tested or not) was to stay the fuck at home. There was one exception to this rule. One. Extreme risk to life.

So Cummings took the decision to go and drive for fucking childcare reasons.

A man with his wealth, privilege and even with family in fucking London, couldn't do it at his home, but had to drive (thus risking his own child because of viral load you're going to get in an enclosed vehicle), himself and others (because he had to stop. Tell me of anyone with a 4 year old in the car they wouldn't be stopping anywhere?)

So anyway, they take a fucking jolly jaunt up to his parents.

But hold on, a Minister recently resigned for breaking lockdown rules. So why in the ever loving fuck was Cummings not resigning or being fired?

I don't know what Cummings has on BJ, but I suspect it makes wanting to fuck a dead pig seem like child play. Because not only isn't he fired, good old Jolly BJ comes out and fully defends and supports his senior advisor (who is unelected as well, just to add salt to that wound).

So by following his fatherly instincts (the fucking laughable defence given, when BJ couldn't even say how many fucking kids he has) and acting with integrity, (someone please give these fucking morons a dictionary), Cummings was given a free pass.

And then a load of fucking MP's including cabinet ministers all piled in saying how great a father he is, how it was exceptional circumstances that made him do it, you're all overreacting you terrible ingrate you, blah, blah, more horse shit, blah!

So, now all of those families who actually followed the fucking rules, and did what the government said are now being told, oh sure. You could've attended the funeral of your loved ones. Gone halfway across country to get child care for your kids, and so on and so fucking forth.

So basically saying, hah the jokes on you.

A few grumbles came out from the odd Tory, who might not have grown a spine, but were looking less like jelly (jello) being nailed to the wall, and more like thick fucking custard. A little more substance to them, but still slopping around with no spine.

We have a bank holiday coming up, and unusually good weather forecast, because as every Brit knows, Bank Holidays are normally shit weather wise. And a lot of people saying, fuck me if Cummings can do this, so can we. And all pile into cars for days out as if nothing had changed! No masks, no social distancing. Zilch. Great innit.

No it fucking isn't! The virus doesn't take a holiday you fucking morons!

So back to the other mess. Cummings now gives a press conference in the fucking rose garden of No.10. Also likely in breach of the rules, but as we know, he really doesn't give a flying fuck about rules now does he.

First of all he was 30 minutes late (you would've been sanctioned , therefore getting no money, for weeks, probably months if on benefits and did the same thing thanks to this government). But he eventually rolls up, looking slightly less like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards, but still looking like a dogs arse. Actually sorry dogs, you don't deserve that comparison. I'm really sorry!!

Anyway, here he is, about to fill us with more bullshit.

The shit now isn't just hitting the fan. In the immortal words of Terry Pratchett, The Midden has now hit the Windmill.

Cummings is trying to explain why he did what he did, oh and now we have the added delight of him being caught going out to a location some 30 miles from the family home, which is another breach of the law!

He sat there, and said, the public aren't angry at me, they're angry because of how the media have reported it. Woe is me, they're making me out to be the bad guy in all this .... blah fucking boo hoo blah.

This was supposed to calm us down.

Dear reader.

It. Did. Not.

So journalist after journalist (Beth Rigby gave a fucking masterclass) actually didn't let him get away with it.

These weren't just questions or accusations. They threw proof at him! Despite the collective rage, it was glorious to see them do it. If this was when stocks were still in use in the town square, Cummings would've been covered in excrement and anything else to hand. That shit was blown back so fast, it was hard to keep up.

Anyway, without going into too much here, his excuses ranged from he didn't feel safe because of demos outside his home (unverified and strangely enough, no neighbours reporting any disturbances either. Funny that),

Then, having gone to great lengths to say he drove up to his parents to keep his kid safe, he explains the additional trip he got caught out on was taken to test his eyesight, which had been affected because of being unwell with Covid19.

So not only is it highly fucking illegal to drive while impaired (including if eyesight is impaired) in this country, you decided to take your wife and kid, who you wanted to protect, not for a little jaunt down the road, but on a 60 mile fucking round trip.

Oh, and he hadn't stopped on the 260 mile trip up there, but his kid needed a stop on the way home, so a less than 60 mile trip required a stop. Yeah. Strange how that works.

He still kept blaming the media. Still kept up the woe is me, it was exceptional circumstances, and so on. Must get sore lips there Cummings, with the amount of smoke you try to blow up peoples arses.

So, to end it all, he has flatly refused to resign. No need to even consider it. The public will be jolly good chaps in all of this and see my side of things.

No we won't, you motherfucking cunt!

So this morning, various people including Gove are still making excuses for this fucking shitstain.

I now wish Cummings is fired, but better yet, thrown out of our universe, so he can never ever be seen again. But I've seen more spine on a fucking snake that I have Boris Johnson, who is just as much to blame in all this.

Before I end, we also had an infamous Tweet from someone in the Civil Service, who knew they were torpedoing their career. I'm including a screen shot. It was taken down, but it was genuine. Whoever they were, you deserve all the applause and a fucking medal!

Oh and a few sources for this and the cuntface Cummings. But you know, just Google the fucker. You can find this and much more.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-44856992

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47712040

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/aug/10/dominic-cummings-owns-farm-got-eu-subsidy

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/jun/18/david-cameron-dominic-cummings-career-psychopath

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/dominic-cummings-boris-johnson-cabinet-minister-aides-civil-service-sajid-javid-a9109836.html

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-52782913

[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-52553229

https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/uk-52792200

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52793991

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/dominic-cummings-trip-county-durham-18306147

https://www.gov.uk/driving-eyesight-rules