#but it just fills me with joy to see the resurgence in this and also makes me feel some complex emotions because it's a part of little me
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(2024) TickleTober Day 26: Kisses - Spoilers
Fic Descript - Nowhere in their diaries does it mention at what point River finds out the Doctor is ticklish. Unfortunately for him, he assumes she already knows.
~A/N Â - Once again, blame @carrie-tate for my Doctor Who resurgence (like look at this and tell me it doesn't fill your heart with joy)
And you can also blame her for a specific line in this fic that she created (and tagged me in which was super cool sdfjkhasfjklh) cause it's GENIUS
Not a super long fic but I actually really love the entire concept for this one hehe, so I hope you all do too.
- Enoy! ~
Tag List: @fullsongphilosopher
Masterpost LinkÂ
TickleTober Masterpost
"Running off again?" River called out, as The Doctor pushed open the door to his TARDIS.
The Doctor turned to lean against the doorframe, flashing her a small grin. "Thought you'd expect that by now, you know me."
"I do." She smiled, moving closer so they were mere inches apart. "More than you think."
River pressed a kiss just under the side his jaw, expecting nothing more than a smirk in response before her partner would whisk himself away in his incredible blue box.
But her prediction couldn't have been further from reality, as The Doctor giggled and scrunched his shoulder up between them - making her half-jump away in surprise. River gave him a innocently puzzled look, smiling slightly in endearment at the noise he had made.
"Shut up." He blushed, refusing to meet her gaze.
River laughed, moving herself into his field of vision. "What was that?"
With a groan, The Doctor's face flushed further. "You know what that was!"
River paused, genuinely trying to come up with some recollection of what the last few seconds could possibly have been caused by. "I don't-."
"Oh-... Um- In that case-" The Doctor began to backpedal, but his reaction was only quick enough to realise his incorrect assumption had just landed him in deep trouble.
"Wait..." River smirked, catching on at the perfect time to put 2 and 2 together. "Are you ticklish?"
There it was.
The Doctor broke into a rare, nervous smile. "Uh... No...?" He stated with an unconvincingly low level of confidence.
"Is that so?" She smirked.
"Um-"
"Remind me, what's the first rule of travelling with The Doctor?" River asked innocently, sliding her hand around his torso and casually poising her fingers against each of his lower ribs.
"River!" He squeaked, his hands fumbling over themselves. "I'm not-! You don't-! It's not-!"
River closed what little distance remained between their faces, so once again her lips brushed against his neck. "The Doctor lies."
His shoulders scrunched up, though this time The Doctor put far more effort into resisting any hint of a smile spreading across his face - he was practically vibrating with effort. River slowly traced her fingers over his ribs, relishing in every jump and reluctant snicker that managed to sneak through the cracks in the Doctor's resolve.
"What a rare sight..." She teased, beginning to softly claw her hands over his sides. "The Doctor, left speechless... I never thought I'd see the day."
"RIVER!" He yelped, twisting away from her.
Unfortunately for him, that only led to River wrapping her arms around his waist and fluttering her fingers over his stomach.
Every time her hands touched down it seemed worse than the last time, and so it didn't take long for the Doctor to burst into helpless giggles. It was like she naturally gravitated to each of the most ticklish areas on his body, hitting each spot like clockwork and tearing the poor Time Lord apart.
"Still sure you're not ticklish?" She half-shouted above his laughter.
When he didn't respond, she decided to move her hands down to latch onto his hips.
"NO RIHIVER YOU KNOHOW I CAHAN'T!" He cackled, desperately trying to push her hands off of him.
"What, have we done this before?" She chuckled as her fingers drilled into the sensitive bones.
"SHUHUT UHUP!" The doctor cackled, trying to twist out of her arms.
"Oh Sweetie," She cooed sympathetically, hooking under his arms and moving her fingers up to twirl around his neck and ears. "Does it tickle?"
He curled his shoulders up with a giggle, sinking into her embrace. Although it still tickled like hell, he appreciated the break from his far more ticklish upper body, and at this point was too tired to fight back.
Thankfully, River also seemed to sense his complete exhaustion, and so it didn't take long for her to finally let him free. They both sunk to the floor, with The Doctor lying exhausted in her lap.
"There's no way that was your first time." The Doctor panted, a smile still stuck on his face.
River laughed gently. "And why's that?"
He shot her a glare. "You figured out I was ticklish ridiculously quickly, and then you knew exactly where to tickle me every single time."
She shrugged, but couldn't help the grin sneaking onto her face. "Maybe you're just easy to read."
He rolled his eyes and sat up. "Did you know I was ticklish or not?"
River grinned. "Spoilers."
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I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, I'm becoming unhinged about Transformers again,,,
#i just. man#first of all i was super into it when i was younger. optimus prime has long been a projectable (and ratchet tooâ from tfp)#but even that's like more recent. when i was SEVEN i was running around in circles to the transformers 1980 theme and re-binging the movie#(autism? what? who? where? but fr it was like a daily thing p much where me and my brothers would just lose it to that song. good ol' days)#transformers#for the search function lol. anyways back to the ramble: the obsession started young and continued throughout my teenage years#the transformers prime version was ABSOLUTELY peak and clears every time. still SO good my brothers and i binged the heck out of that too#but i don't think we ever got to watch the movie??? or maybe it was season 3??? either way i remember being like WHAT OPTIMUS IS EVIL???#and never getting resolution which i still need to do (also reminding me of clone wars...never did finish that one and still not spoiled)#anyway yeah the nintendo 3DS transformers prime game was yet another staple of my childhood. fave main was optimus obvs#but it just fills me with joy to see the resurgence in this and also makes me feel some complex emotions because it's a part of little me#and that version of me feels like so long ago...my own orion pax in a way#11-year-old me checking out giant lore books and speeding through them (i need to find this one book!! it's been years!!#it was the first transformers tome i ever read and told the story of orion pax!! and i vaguely remember the cover? but not the title! help!)#ANYway yes just feeling a lot of feelings and. i love transformers#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags#also if you're reading this: i voted and you should too!!!
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I got lip filler this morning and the doctor had vivienne Westwood nails and I thought of uđ u r influencing the world Iâm sure
AHHHH thats so cUTE of u, I am kissing u thru the screen on ur new sexy juicy lips thank u (*´âď˝*)
#urusai! baka#trendy baka#seeing the resurgence of vivienne westwood fills my littlebheart with pure joy#also i love the fact that ur esthetician had sick nails#thats just so satisfying for some reason LAKAOAK#THANK U FOR THINKING OF ME#WISHING UR LIPS HEAL ASAP#wishing u the swiftest deswelling with no pain and i hope they last for a long long time before u hav to get them topped up#KISS KISS <33333
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546 Days Without You â Ten: Day 300
Pairing â Seokjin x Reader
Tags â boyfriend!Seokjin, older brother!Yoongi, producer/songwriter!MC, military au (ish), idol au (ish)
Genre â fluff, angst
Word Count â 2.7k
Summary â Kim Seokjin is your entire world, and that world falls apart the moment he and your older brother Yoongi are conscripted into the South Korean military.
Part â 10 / 15
Warnings â none
A/N â I am so sorry for the long wait for this update, guys. Same old story; all work, no play. Hope it's made up for the absence somehow. Thanks for sticking with me <3
Previous â Next
The roar of the crowds grows louder and louder as showtime gets closer. Fans pour in for hours, elated and ecstatic to see the boys in person. Singing and dancing, cheers and laughter, all forms of joy fill Olympic Stadium. As the time grows nearer, you can feel the auditorium start to tremble under your feet. It's far from the first time you've been this close to a showâthis has been part of your life for the last eight yearsâbut being such an integral part of it gives the night a whole other feeling.
The only way you can describe it is pure wonder.
Peering down to see the massive crowds finding their seats, ensuring that you remain hidden behind the large stage lighting on the highest balcony, you force yourself to take a deep breath and hold it. It's the one thing that's worked consistently through the last year, and it's the one thing Seokjin's told you on a regular basis.Â
"If your breath is off, you'll feel it," he'd repeat over and over on every call. And then he'd follow that up with a silly joke and force you to practice breathing with him.Â
To which you'd always give him an eye-roll and sarcastic quipâwhile practicing with him, of course. It's his way of showing how much he cares. He'd talked you through plenty of moments of self-doubt.
"Remember: Sing for yourself firstâthe rest of the world can follow suit."
But the shoulder you leaned on that particular night was that of your brother. He'd been promoted recently and was given similar freeing privileges, so you no longer had to rely on such an archaic way of communication.
"Are you nervous for tomorrow?" he'd asked the night before, voice soft and timbre as you remember.
You'd tried to make it seem as if the nerves were gone, but even with the slight tremble in your voice, you could tell that he knew right away. You might've been able to fool most people that you were conquering the hoard of butterflies in your stomach, but Yoongi reads you like an open book.
"And don't lie."
"It's my first live show," you explained. "We've been practicing for the tour for months. I've been nailing my singing and rapping. All of us are spent, and tour hasn't even begun...but we're also the most excited we've been in a while. It feels like we haven't been with the Army in so, so long. Like years have passed."
"So you're torn, aren't you?"
Even though you knew he couldn't see you, you nodded your agreement. "I never thought I'd be so excited to tour with them. At first, I was horrified at the idea. And then I saw the benefits and thought it could be fun. Everyone's been so supportive and helpful. The boys and the team have guided me through all the parts I'd only seen from the sidelines. Now that I'm in the middle of it...I feel both honored and thrilled and terrified and nervous."
Yoongi chuckled softly at the confession. "That's awfully honest of you. Normally I have to pry it out of you."
"What can I say? I've spent an ungodly amount of time with Jimin. Like, even more than before. I'm now a professional feeler."
Your brother's laughter grew in volume, then fades as he insisted, "Well, your feelings are totally valid. The older I get, the more I realize that it's both normal and fine to have conflicting emotions. You can be both excited and scared. You can be nervous and thrilled. You can both be impatient to begin and scared of it, too. That's life. That's the human condition."
"Even if I feel sick to my stomach?" you asked with a chortle.Â
"Especially if. We paint our lives as two distinct sides and tell ourselves that we must be in one or the other. We're happy. We're sad. We're scared. We're delighted. There are no in-betweens. But here's the thing: life is not binary. There's no black and white, and you have to learn to be okay with being all of these things at once. It's a lot, but it's the greatest part of life."
"And the worst," you added.
Yoongi laughed, "Well, that's part of it, too!"
You let out a huff of air and felt the uneasiness in your body settle down as his words hit home. "When did you get so wise, Yoongles?"
"I've always been wise. You're just now enlightened enough to see it."
Thinking back on that conversation, you can't help but chuckle and bring your attention back to the moment. The night is unraveling perfectly. All of the work and time and money that's been invested in this tour, especially the first night, is paying off. For once, the universe is on your side, and all is going according to plan. In a few moments, you'll begin the trek down to the stage interior and begin the final prep for the performance.
But in this moment, you stand with arms braced against the metal railing, gazing from the Army, to the stage, and up to the periwinkle sky. The lights are twinkling as bombs light up across the tens of thousands, and the horizon wraps around the stadium like a blanket. The weather is clear and the stars are beginning to show themselves.Â
It brings a smile to your face when you realize you're comfortable with the medley of feelings in your chest, and that you find yourself more than willing to face the night with them.
Straightening up, you raise your hand to catch the wind as a breeze sweeps down from the clouds and into the crowds. Your smile grows, and a joyful sound builds in your chest. And for the first time, your heartbeat quickens not from fear alone, but from excitement.
Bounding down the stairs, two at a time, you sneak around the Army and make your way back to the boys. Most of them are already dressed for the first performance, with a couple finishing touches being added to their hair and makeup. Jimin catches your gaze first, forever the worrisome one. You give a reassuring smile, and the tiny line between Jimin's brows dissipates.Â
Taehyung pulls you towards the stylist. "You need to get ready," he orders with a playful smile. "We have the first couple of songs, then you're up."
Nodding once, you turn towards your flashy tour garb that hangs on the rack to the side. "Got it."
"Are you ready, [Y/n]-ie?" Hoseok inquires.
You give the now-senior member two thumbs-ups, grin widening. "I got this. We got this!"
Namjoon ruffles your hair as he passes, surprised and thrilled with your eagerness. To which Jungkook shouts, "Let's get it!"
After the vocal line's song comes to an end, and the cheers begin to fade, you're ushered to the lift under the stage. Jimin holds your hand along the way, and he's the one that helps you up the step and onto the platform. Jungkook hands you your sparkly, white mic and leaves his tattooed hand on your trembling fingers as reassurance.
Hoseok adjusts your matching earpieces so that they stay in place, and Taehyung places a stabilizing hand between your shoulder blades. Namjoon's eyes lock with yours, and even though no words are said, the nod he gives you says everything.
Focusing on a calm exhale, you give a thumbs up to the members. As they visibly relax and back away from the platform, you raise your thumb towards the crew. A lever is pulled, and the gears in the lift groan to life. You crouch down as the platform begins to rise, letting your eyes flutter shut in one final moment of tranquility.
White noise. It's the only sound you can hear through the muffling of your earpieces. Not even technology can block out the cheers and elations of Army. The pitter-patter of your heart causes the smile to spread across your face.
Opening your eyes, the platform halts at the top of the stage. You straighten your legs as a rush of adrenaline pumps through your body. The sudden resurgence of energy has you blasting out onto the stage, as perfect as all those days of practice could be. Except this time, you have a sea of lights that play against the dark.
The live track begins to play, and you strut to your on-stage cue. Lifting the microphone to your lips, you begin to sing. From the very first note, the crowd goes wild. It's everything you could've dreamed and more. The way they immediately sing along, the way they dance along with you despite not knowing all the choreography, the way they cheer for someone who's as new to this stage as a trainee. Their support lifts you and carries you along your well-practiced routine.
The melody flows from the first verse to the chorus, then into the second verse. Not once does your voice crack. Not once does your memory falter. Not once do your feet tangle under you. If ever there were a perfect performance, especially with the high note in the bridge before the final chorus, it was this night in Seoul.
You know Seokjin and Yoongi would be proud as hell.
When the song comes to an end, the mic drops from your lips and your head rolls back. You take a moment to let the sight around you imprint in the back of your mind. Every part of this first performance, you want to remember it forever. Even the bittersweet fact that your brother and lover are far away from such an impactful moment.
Tears well up in your eyes as the lights fade. The backup dancers rush off stage, and you're pulled with them. You hadn't expected the sadness to hit you this soon after performing; by the time you're backstage with the members, your sight is blurry and your lips quiver.
"Whoa, whoa." Hoseok is over at your side in an instant, and Jimin cups your face between his palms. "You did great! Why are you crying?"
"You killed it," Jungkook agrees with a bunny-esque grin.
You shake your head fervently, brushing away the tears with the back of your hand. "It's not that," you murmur, and Taehyung wraps you in a back-hug. "It's not that at all."
That's all you have to say, and the others fall silent with understanding. Namjoon gives your shoulder a squeeze, and Jungkook offers you a bottled water.Â
"Drink slowly and sit down," the leader orders softly. "Hoseok and I are up next, but take it easy with the maknaes for a second, okay?"
Nodding your acceptance, you watch as the two oldest skip out towards the stage for another wild and passionate performance. Jimin grabs your hand and, threading his fingers through yours, ushers you towards the break area backstage. The music and crowds fade away, replaced by quiet.
Jimin kneels down in front of you, while Taehyung wraps you in a side hug. Jungkook grabs a small snack from the side table and insists you get some food into your system so the shakiness stops.
"We got you," the youngest of the three chides.Â
You give the brunet a grateful expression and take the chips from his grasp. It takes all your energy to focus on the three around you, in this moment, and not on the two that are absent. It'd taken you by surprise as you left the stage; you thought you'd come to terms with Seokjin and Yoongi being so far away. But after performing the song that poured out your emotions, you feel raw and exposed and drained. It's near impossible to tear your mind away.
However, eventually, you're calm enough to drink and eat a little, much to their relief. Blinking away the remnants of your tears, you heave a short breath and murmur, "Sorry...I don't know why I got caught up in that again."
Jimin's thumbs brush across your cheeks. "Don't be. It's always emotional performing a song for the first time. We should have warned you."
"And one of the members is always crying after a show," Jungkook chuckles. "So don't beat yourself up."
Taehyung adds, "It's almost always one of us."
The comments cause you to laugh, and the tension in the room dissipates. One of the producers pops her head through the door and says, "Jin's recording is up next. Are you still okay to go on stage?"
The boys turn to you, and you nod assuredly. Standing up, you drag them with you. The gentle squeeze your fingers give lets them know of your choice. They follow you without question.
Itâs time to face the music.
And thatâs what you keep telling yourself, time and time again, as the stage stands dauntingly ahead. Curtains and props rise up around you. Bombs light up the arena with their iridescent glow. Armys chant and sing, bringing your mind back to the present moment.
Despite the wondrous things you have seen the first day of the tour, despite being surrounded by five of your closest friendsâmen you consider your brothers, despite the great adventure that lies in front of you, the only thing consuming your mind at this moment is him. What you wouldnât do to have him beside you, what you wouldnât trade to thread your fingers through his, what you wouldnât sacrifice to hear his angelic voice harmonizing with yours.
Then you hear it.Â
As if from a hazy dream, somewhere in the fog that is your mind you recognize the vocals that begin to play. Unlike most of the performance, this particular piece is a recording. Youâve lost count how many times youâd watched it, in your darkest moments when the heartbreak in your chest becomes too much to bear.
As you glance to the side, to the gigantic screen at the back of the stage, you see Seokjinâs face exactly as your memory promised. This recording isnât one from a music video or short film, nor is it from the tour or live show from earlier last year. No, the Jin singing now is barefaced and adorned in an ocean blue sweater with an image of RJ on the chest. A guitar in hand, he sings in the privacy of your home, the one you shared for almost two years before he left. Itâs intimate and beautiful and goofy, everything you love to death about the man himself.
And it brings a smile to your face when you hear the song he wrote for you.
A gentle hand grasps yours as the song nears the second chorus. Jimin stands at your side, a look of cautious worry on his makeup-enhanced features. He doesnât say a word, but his expression tells you what he would say if the microphones werenât turned on.
Are you okay? Are you holding up? Do you need a moment before we go on again?
Giving a small nod of reassurance, you squeeze the hand of your closest friend in an attempt to reassure him. Jimin nods once and rests his chin on your shoulder. Both of your gazes shift back to the screen, back to Seokjin, back to one of several people you miss more than the world.
Youâve made it 300 days thus far, but it breaks your heart when you remember that you still have 246 days yet to bear. No one should have to stay away from the one they love for 546 days.
At that moment, you pray even harder for the strength and courage to make it 246 more days.
But until then, youâll keep repeating those six words over and over until your fear disappears.
Itâs time to face the music.Â
Taglist â @joyful-jiminâââ, @gracehiiiââ, @live-2-fangirlââ, @rjsmochiiâââ, @btsnatalenaâ
#bangtan-madi writes#546 days without you#546dwy#kim seokjin#seokjin#kim seokjin x reader#kim seokjin fluff#seokjin x reader#seokjin fluff#seokjin angst#kim seokjin angst#seokjin fic#bts fic#established relationship#idol au#producer!mc#jin x reader#jin fluff#jin fic#bts jin#bts seokjin#bts fluff#bts x reader#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#military au#boyfriend!seokjin#boyfriend!jin#brother!yoongi#jin angst
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My SSBU Roster DLC Wish List
Decided to update my list of most wanted Smash Bros. fighters. And of course since Min Min was added to the roster, that means spirits officially do not deconfirm possible roster candidates! So this time, NO HOLDS BARRED! Also, I don't care how unlikely one of my selections is, this is my list, I do whuh I wan'! PLAUSIBILITY BE DAMNED!
I'll also be listing these in ascending order, building up to my #1 most wanted fighter!
Here we go!
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#10:
PORKY MINCH
I think we could use another Earthbound/Mother rep, and who better than this lil bastard? He served as a major antagonist in both Earthbound/Mother 2 and Mother 3, and was also a boss in Brawl, so it seems like he'd be a pretty good choice for a future fighter!
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#9:
GENO
Yeah, tons of people want Geno in the game, and I'm definitely among them! SMRPG is a fondly remembered classic, and I think Geno has good potential as a playable fighter! Hopefully we'll get to see this guy in action!
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#8:
SCORPION
HEAR ME OUT! Yeah, Mortal Kombat is DEFINITELY NOT family friendly, but then again neither is Bayonetta. And I don't think it'd be difficult to incorporate Scorpion's familiar moveset without the gore. And come on, you know you want that kickass Mortal Kombat theme in the game! lol
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#7:
CAPTAIN SYRUP
Wario Land desperately needs more love, and I think Captain Syrup would be the perfect character to represent that series! And if they utilize callbacks well enough, then she could have a very fun and interesting moveset!
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#6:
SORA
Definitely a long shot considering Kingdom Hearts is a Disney franchise, but I'd personally love to see Sora rubbing elbows with some of gaming's most iconic characters!
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#5:
RAYMAN
I'm pretty damn fond of the Rayman series, and I think this guy has what it takes to be an awesome addition to the roster! Especially if they take full advantage of all the powerups throughout the series!
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#4:
SHANTAE
I'm also a big fan of the Shantae series of games! And considering all of Shantae's magical abilities and many transformations, I know she could be a fun and unique addition to the roster!
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#3:
EARTHWORM JIM
Yeah, this entry is pretty much just my inner child screaming out for one of my earliest video game obsessions. lol
But I really do think Jim would be an excellent addition to the roster with a fun and bizarre moveset and wacky animations! And this wouldn't even be Jim's first appearance as a guest character in a fighting game (having already appeared in Clayfighter 63 1/3 and Battle Arena Toshinden).
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#2:
DR. EGGMAN
The way I see it, if other third party series (such as Street Fighter and Castlevania) can have multiple reps, why not Sonic? And I personally wouldn't have anyone other than the nefarious Doctor himself filling that spot! And they could put him in a small mech to fight in (a la Sonic The Fighters)! Seriously though, I would freak the f*** out from sheer geeky joy if Eggman ever got added to the roster! :D
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AND MY #1 MOST WANTED DLC FIGHTER IS....
.........
.........
.........
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CRASH BANDICOOT!
Seriously, Crash would be so frikkin PERFECT in Smash Bros.! He's a fun and unique character with great moveset potential, his game franchise is both celebrated and long lived (with a pretty strong resurgence in recent years), and the Crash Bandicoot series has had some good history of collaborating with Nintendo! Not to mention that Crash started out as a rival mascot to both Nintendo and Sega, so seeing him go toe-to-toe with Mario and Sonic would be pretty damn epic! :D
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So yeah, there's my list. lol
I can only hope at least one of these characters will make it onto the roster! *crosses fingers*
#ssbu#super smash bros. ultimate#super smash bros.#earthbound#kingdom hearts#super mario bros.#mortal kombat#rayman series#shantae series#earthworm jim#sonic the hedgehog#sonic team#crash bandicoot series#crash bandicoot#shantae#rayman#dr. eggman#jim#sora#captain syrup#geno#super mario rpg#porky minch#pokey minch#scorpion
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Run To You - Chpt.7
Summary: Steve is reeling from Buckyâs departure and trying to make sense of what to do next. After an unexpected clue and a surprise offer of help, Steve does everything he can to make New York safe for Bucky to return. The only problem then becomes, what if thatâs not what Bucky wants?  Master list is HERE
Content Warning: None :)
Word Count: 4.6k
Authorâs Note: Hello lovelies! The last chapter is here!! Thank you to everyone who has stuck around for this fic through all of itâs ups and downs. Please enjoy the last bit of the journey and the much awaited happily ever after. The epilogue goes up next, so keep an eye out right after this. XOXO - Ash
Chapter Seven
Steve
Three weeks. It has been three excruciating weeks of searching and hoping and ultimately losing hope. Steve feels like heâs living in a world of grey, nothing brings him joy quite the same way it used to. Itâs startling to discover how quickly heâd grown to care for Bucky and how empty his life feels without the other man. After a few days of trying to give Bucky space, Steve had reached out only to find the brunette was gone. It was hard to believe, especially after Bucky had just promised not to run away when things got tough. Steve had been frantic at first, fearing the worst, until Tony had done some research and shown Steve the paper trail. Bucky had drained his bank account and bought one way tickets to Moscow for him and Becca. The trail went cold after that, heâd ditched his phone and stopped using cards, disappearing like a ghost in the night.Â
After four days of hiding in his bed mourning the loss of what was and what could have been, Steve went down to the mission debriefing Tony was hosting and dove head first back into work. Itâs been non-stop missions from that point on. Days off are too lonely without having someone to text or call or visit. The nights are even worse. So Steve pours himself into the all consuming need to eliminate the threat that had sent Bucky running in the first place. Steve knows itâs not the healthiest reaction but a small part of him clings to the hope that if he can remove the threat, Bucky will be able to come home. A more rational part of him points out that even with Hydra gone there are other threats. And how would Bucky even know that Hydra had been defeated? Desperation and hope had never been rational things though.Â
The team worries about Steve the longer his non-stop working goes on. They each approach the subject differently but by the end of the third week theyâve all made their concerns clear.Â
A subtle âWhy donât you sit this one out, pal? Weâve got it covered.â from Bruce.Â
A less than subtle âYou look like you could use another ice nap, Capiscle. The bags under your eyes have their own set of luggage.â from Tony.Â
Steve shakes off their comments lightly, assuring everyone heâs fine. Really, heâs fine. Steve is starting to hear the edge in his own tone but pointedly ignores it. He just needs to keep busy until the searing ache in his chest dulls enough for him to get through a day without feeling like heâs falling apart. He hasnât felt this off kilter since waking up seventy years in the future and realizing heâd missed his chance at a life with Peggy. But he had moved on from the pain of that loss, and Steve knows he can do it again. He has to.
The first clue comes a week later when Tony is doing his monthly deep scrub of the security systems. He finds the normal clutter of attempted hacks and people trying to poke around just for the hell of it. Most of it doesnât get past the first ring of protection and is pathetically amateur. Those people donât even warrant a second glance before he wipes the records. Itâs the people who get a little further that Tony takes note of. Itâs a rare occurrence, maybe three or four times a year, that someone actually gets past Tonyâs first set of barriers and those are the people who get a nice little visit from SHIELD. Tony had actually hired his newest intern that way. A sweet kid from Queens who had gotten pretty damn far, three out five barriers, on his first try. Peter Parker had been trying to spy on their intel so he could clean up the crime in Queens on his own. Setting out like a tiny little vigilante in spandex. Tony did a little spying of his own and had been more than impressed with the kidâs skills. Taking him under his wing, Peter was currently training with the team a few days a week. Tony refused to let the kid out on missions until after he turned eighteen, but for now he was at least getting prepared for when that day came.Â
The clue was more of a blip than a red flag, and Tony almost overlooked it, though he didnât admit that to Steve when he was telling him the news. There was a small window of time, just barely twenty minutes, one night where the memory had been overwritten. It took Tony longer than he was willing to say to backtrack and restore the original record but once he did, his jaw dropped. Someone, identifiable only by a little black spider icon, had gone through the security feed and Jarvisâ surveillance inside the tower. Specifically tracking down Steve and his movements throughout the day. Tonyâs first assumption was Hydra, but heâd seen how they worked before and it lacked this level of delicateness and finesse. The fact that nothing had come of it also led him to believe this wasnât Hydra.Â
âSo do you think it was Bucky?â Steve asks once Tony has finished explaining what heâd found.Â
Tony shakes his head, âNo, not unless heâs a secret super hacker in his spare time. I think he was involved somehow though. Someone wanted to make sure they knew where you were while your boy toy made his grand exit. I tracked it as far as I could, but this little spider was good. Scary good. How much do you know about his friends? Anyone in security, or IT or something?â
Steve thinks for a minute, running through the conversations heâs had with Bucky about people in his life. It hits him over the head like a ton of bricks. âNatasha!â he practically shouts, âThereâs a woman, Natasha Roma-something. They went to NYU together and she works in cyber security. She watches Becca while Bucky works overnights. He joked about her âspy skillsâ once.âÂ
âThat sounds like a good start. Iâll start there but if you think of anyone else let me know.âÂ
Three hours later Tony has a name, address, and a promise that heâs 99.99% sure Natasha Romanoff is their woman.Â
Steve insists on going to visit Natasha alone, praying she doesnât run the second she sees him. He promises Tony he can go another time to âtalk shopâ. Natasha isnât home when Steve arrives so he tugs the visor of his baseball cap lower and pulls out a worn paperback from his jacket pocket. Two chapters later, he spots a redhead eyeing him suspiciously as she approaches the stoop.Â
âSteven.â she says evenly once sheâs a few steps away.
Steve recognizes it as tactical, sheâs far enough away that she can still flee if he gives her any indication this isnât a friendly visit. He stays seated, not wanting to scare her off unintentionally. âNatasha.â he replies.Â
âI donât know where he is, he hasnât contacted me.âÂ
Itâs impressive to Steve how well she lies. Heâs never had that gift. âI donât think thatâs necessarily true.â he says. Natashaâs lip quirks up, amused. âOtherwise you wouldnât have had to spy on me while he was escaping.â he adds lightly.
Natashaâs lip curves into a full smirk at that. âI must be losing my touch.âÂ
Steve shakes his head, âI donât think thatâs necessarily true either.âÂ
Despite herself, Natasha actually chuckles at that. âCome on in, Steve. Iâll make tea.âÂ
Steve spends the rest of his afternoon in Natashaâs little loft apartment. Itâs cozy and filled with bright colors and vibrant patterns. Itâs so different than he would have expected and he kind of loves it. They talk about Bucky a lot, but also about Steve, and Natasha too. Natasha is more reticent about sharing her story but Steve has a feeling he got more than most people do. She very carefully skirts around the topic of who she works for and what exactly she does, as well as anything involving where Bucky is.Â
All of her question dodging is frustrating and Steveâs patience finally snaps, âLook, Iâm not going to go after him. I promise you, Iâm not. Not until I know itâs safe for him to come back. I lo-â Steve clears his throat, unable to say the words aloud, âI care about him so damn much. I wonât risk his safety again. Iâm going to take Hydra down for good this time, I know it. And once Hydra is gone, then Iâd like to at least have the option of reaching out to him.âÂ
Natasha watches Steve quietly for a moment. He feels like a bug under a microscope as she looks for some unimaginable tell. After a few seconds she finally nods, coming to a conclusion. âOkay,â she says, âI believe you. But if youâre going to do this right, youâre going to need me.âÂ
âNeed you?â Steve parrots back, confused.
âOh yes, me. You need someone who can trace all of Hydraâs webs back to their source. Or sources, most likely. Find all of their locations and burn them to the ground. If we miss even one, thereâs always going to be the chance for a resurgence. Let me help take them down and then we can talk about maybe you reaching out to Bucky.âÂ
Tony almost swallows his tongue the first time he sees Natasha go to work on his computers. As much as he hates to admit someone is better than him, heâs in awe of Natashaâs skills. They spend all hours of the day and night working, often passing out from lack of sleep right on the computer desk. Steve brings them coffee and sandwiches but he really canât contribute much to the discussion as they throw ideas around.Â
With Natashaâs help it only takes two weeks to track down every last Hydra base, safe house, lock box, and rendezvous point. Steve insists on looping in SHIELD after he and Natasha hammer out a strategy they can both agree upon. Thereâs too much exposure and a risk of missing Hydra members if they use only the Avengers. The strike needs to be tactical and synchronous. Thirty one locations and thirty one strike teams all attacking at the exact same time. No chance for locations to tip each other off or for people to run.Â
Agent Coluson is more than willing to lend the support the Avengers need and offers up all the man power he has. With teams in place, Steve isnât willing to wait another day to end the decades old war. At 2:23am, eastern standard time, all thirty one teams move in on their locations. By 2:35am, Hydra has officially fallen.Â
It takes a few days for it to sink in that Hydraâs really gone. Steve worries incessantly that they missed something and itâs all going to be for nothing again. Heâd rather spend another seventy years at the bottom of the ocean than risk bringing Bucky back to danger. SHIELD is kind enough to handle the processing of items and documents recovered from the raids, as well as incarcerating the few members who allowed themselves to be taken alive. Much to SHIELDâs embarrassment, the raids uncovered a few Hydra agents in their own ranks, but they were thankful to have the potential threats to their organization removed.Â
Steve doesnât approach Natasha for Buckyâs whereabouts. Heâs still too nervous and tentatively hopeful to ask. He doesnât think his heart will be able to handle it if she says no again. It helps that sheâs going to be around more now so heâll have opportunities when heâs ready. After a little cajoling by Tony, Natasha had agreed to work with the Avengers on a loose, as needed, basis. Basically whenever she feels like it, but Steveâs pretty sure sheâll come to help if called. In the end, Natasha is the one who seeks out Steve. She finds him sitting in the common room, watching an old western by himself in the dark, and hands him a slip of paper.Â
Steve blinks blearily, caught off guard, and he tries to read the note in the dim, flickering TV light. Itâs an address and a phone number printed in Natashaâs tiny neat penmanship. He knows what it is immediately but canât figure out why sheâs giving it to him now.Â
âItâs time.â she says simply, reading the question on his face. âIf you decide to go, let me know and Iâll help with your disguise.âÂ
Steve chafes a little at her offer, âWhatâs wrong with my normal disguise?â
âSteven, a baseball hat and a coat are not a disguise. If youâre going to him youâll need to blend in. Even with those ridiculous shoulders of yours.âÂ
âFine, fine.â he grumbles without any heat. Part of him wants to jump on his bike and drive straight there until he can hold Bucky in his arms again. The other part of him is still terrified of rejection and that maybe their mission wasnât a success like everyone thinks. His mind is warring with itself until Natasha flicks his ear, breaking him out of his thoughts to glare at her.Â
âStop over thinking.â she commands. âWeâll go in the morning. Together. Iâve been apart from my malyshka for long enough.âÂ
Steve looks at Natasha, gratitude pouring from his eyes while his mouth canât find the words to thank her enough. She knows without him having to say a word. Patting him gently on the knee, Natasha gets up and silently exits the room leaving Steve to solitude once again.
xxXxx
Bucky
âCome on, bug, please.â Bucky begs, trying to coax Becca away from the glass walled cage of guinea pigs.Â
âBut daddy, look at that one! Sheâs perfect! I could name her Angelina and she could live in my room.â Becca pleads pointing to a white, black, and tan colored pig in the back.Â
Bucky hesitates, almost willing to cave in, before finding his resolve again. âNo, not right now. Iâm not saying no forever, but letâs go home and do some research first. We want to make sure we can give her a good home before buying her, right?âÂ
Becca looks up at him skeptically before admitting defeat. Her tiny shoulders slump but she nods. âOkay, we can do the research first.â Becca turns back to the cage, wiggling her finger at the tiny animal. âBye Angelina. Iâll be back for you soon.âÂ
Bucky herds Becca away from the cage and towards the check out. All theyâd needed was a new filter for the fish tank Bucky had set up in the kitchen a few weeks back. It was hard to believe theyâd had Elsa and Anna for a month now. Becca had won the pair of fish at the fall festival they went to their second week in town. Both Barnesâ had adapted to life in Cape Elizabeth quickly, loving the slower paced small town life. Bucky missed the city at times, the hustle and bustle, the nearness to everything, but mostly his friends. And Steve. He tried not to think about Steve as much as he could, but in the quiet moments his memories consumed him.Â
Back in their apartment, which now feels like home more than their apartment in Brooklyn ever had, Bucky replaces the fish tank filter and starts the oven preheating so he can get dinner cooking while he grabs a shower. Heâs still in his scrubs, having picked Becca up after his shift at the urgent care center, and though it was a relatively easy day, he still wants his habitual post-shift shower so he can feel a little more human again.
Bucky pokes his head into Beccaâs room and finds her already in her pajamas, sprawled out on the floor, coloring. He leaves her be, not wanting to disturb her, and heads towards his room. Bucky just gets his shirt over his head when the doorbell rings. He was so close to hot water and soap. Pulling his shirt back on with a groan, Bucky heads to the front door trying to keep a scowl off of his face. Itâs probably just Anne with some new baked good, or maybe even Chris from work dropping something off he forgot there. Bucky throws the door open before looking out the window and regrets it when two strangers stand in front of him.Â
âCan I help you?â he asks, his tone guarded. In a span of a heartbeat Bucky goes through the list of places heâs hidden knives and pepper spray. While he trusts Natashaâs skills, he never wants to risk not being able to defend himself and Becca. In the next heartbeat he recognizes the breadth of the manâs shoulders and the sharp glint of the womanâs eyes. âOh my god.â he gasps, his knees buckling under him in shock.Â
Steve lunges forward, super soldier reflexes coming to the rescue, and he catches Bucky before the smaller man hits the ground.Â
Embarrassed, Bucky rights himself with assistance from Steve. Heâs trembling, terrified what it means if theyâre both there on his doorstep. âCome in then, I guess.â he says, shakily waving a hand towards the living room.Â
Bucky canât help but stare at Natasha and Steve as they take their seats on the sofa. Natashaâs bright red hair is a muted brown, thick rimmed glasses frame her eyes, and sheâs wearing heels that add four inches to her petite stature. Steveâs hair is colored black and spiked up in a way that makes Bucky want to laugh. The shapeless green army style jacket and brown contacts in his eyes make him almost unrecognizable.Â
Natasha, fearless as ever, is the first to speak. âSorry for dropping in on you like this.âÂ
âWhy are you-â Bucky is cut off by a shriek and then a flurry of yellow pajamas as Becca comes flying into the room, throwing herself at Natasha. The little girl would recognize that voice anywhere.
âAuntie Nat!!!â she yells as she clings to Natasha for dear life. Sheâs crying, tears streaming down her pink cheeks, mumbling into her auntieâs shoulder, too quiet to understand.Â
âI know, malyshka,â Natasha croons, âI missed you too.âÂ
Bucky feels tears of his own prickling the corners of his eyes.Â
Becca starts peppering Natasha with questions, still not recognizing Steve much to the former blondeâs amusement. Natasha gently cuts off the little girlâs questions. âOkay, kiddo. I need to talk to Bucky for a few minutes. Adult talk. Can you go play for a bit and when weâre done Iâll come hang out with you for as long as you want?âÂ
Becca nods, giving Natasha another hug before heading down the hall without complaint.Â
Bucky shakes his head, âYou know sheâs never going to let you go now that you said that.âÂ
âItâs a risk Iâm willing to take.â Natasha grins.Â
âSo,â Bucky starts the dreaded conversation again, âWhy are you here? Do we need to leave? Did something happen?âÂ
 Natasha glances over at Steve and begins when itâs clear heâs not ready to speak. âWell, we have some news. Good news, actually.â Natasha looks at Steve one last time, wanting to give him the chance to share the news but he remains silent. âHydra is gone, permanently this time. Weâre certain, Iâm certain. I kind of teamed up with Steve and the guys to make sure of it. Youâre safe to come home now.âÂ
Buckyâs heart clenches at the word âhomeâ. He is home. Trying to parse through the information Bucky gets stuck on, âWait, you kind of teamed up with Steve? And the guys? What are you, an Avenger now?âÂ
âI wouldnât put a label on it. But Iâm there to help them when I have time.âÂ
Bucky huffs a laugh at the surrealness of it. Heâd always thought Natasha was practically a superhero and now, here she is really being one. âDo you have a superhero name and everything?â Heâs going to enjoy lording this over her head, whatever it is.Â
âNope.â Natasha says at the same time Steve says âBlack Widow.âÂ
Buckyâs eyes bug out comically at both the name and the fact that Steve finally spoke. The rich timber of his voice rolls across the room to Bucky making him feel weak-kneed all over again. âSteve⌠IâŚâ Bucky looks at Steve helplessly. He doesnât know how to start with so many conflicting emotions whirling around inside.Â
Natasha watches the pair of men watch each other and decides itâs time for her exit. âIâm going to hang out with Becs. You two have a lot of catching up to do.â She pops up from the sofa and heads off leaving the two men to stare at each other in silence.Â
As much as it pains him, Steve finally speaks up. âIf you donât want me here I can go. I shouldnât have just shown up like this, Iâm sorry. I just⌠I thought⌠well, Iâm not sure what I thought anymore.â He looks so lost and earnest it breaks Buckyâs heart a little more.Â
âWine.â Bucky blurts out awkwardly. âI have wine. Letâs get some and we can go sit out on the porch and talk.âÂ
âOkay, Buck. Whatever you want.âÂ
Steve follows Bucky to the kitchen quietly. He waits as Bucky pours two mugs full of a dark red wine and hands him one of the mugs. He follows quietly again when Bucky leads him out to the porch and takes a seat on one of the adirondack chairs. Steve takes the chair next to Bucky, surprised by how comfortable the seat is. âThis is nice.â he says, not specifying if heâs commenting on the wine, the chair, or the crisp, clear, autumn evening.Â
Bucky hums his agreement. âIt is.â A soft silence falls on them again, but Bucky doesnât let it linger this time. âSo Hydraâs really gone?â
Steve nods immediately, finding his footing a little. âYeah, for sure this time. You should have seen Natasha and Tony. They were amazing tracking everyone down. We even got SHIELD to lend us their forces to ensure our plan worked.âÂ
âThat had to feel really good after all these years.âÂ
âYeah, it did.âÂ
âSo, whatâs the plan now? What will you do now that Hydraâs out of the picture?â
Steve thinks a moment before finally shrugging his ridiculously wide shoulders, âI really donât know. Tony was making some jokes about me finally retiring but I donât know what Iâd do with my time if I wasnât working.â
Bucky reaches over and places his hand on top of Steveâs where it rests on the arm of his chair. The movement is so natural and easy that heâs squeezing Steveâs hand comfortingly before he even realizes what heâs doing. âYouâll find something,â Bucky assures him. âMaybe you could volunteer. Thereâs veterans centers, and animal shelters, and old folks homes that could all use an extra set of capable hands. Youâll figure it out.âÂ
Steve chuckles at the thought, âYeah, maybe Iâll go volunteer at a retirement home. It would be nice to swap stories with people my own age about the good old days.âÂ
Bucky huffs a laugh and shoves lightly at Steveâs arm. âI forget that youâre really a senior citizen under all that muscle.â
âOnly chronologically. Physically, Iâm still twenty-seven.âÂ
âYeah, okay. Letâs see the date on your driver's license, pal.â Bucky teases.Â
Steve laughs in earnest then, leaning a little closer to Bucky and the moment turns soft, intimate, as their laughter dies off.Â
Thereâs so many things Bucky wants to tell Steve, so many different ways the conversation could go. But he finally decides on, âSteve, I need you to understand that as much as I want to be with you, I donât want to go back to New York. Becca and I created a life in this town and there is so much opportunity for her to have a happy, normal, childhood here. I can provide better for her here than I ever could in the city.âÂ
âShe comes first.â Steve says simply.
âShe does, always. I loved New York for a long time but I think I forgot how different life could be outside the city. I have a job here that I love, itâs less stress and more money and I work normal hours for once in my life. Our expenses are like half of what they were in Brooklyn, which is still unreal. And Becca loves her new school and her friends. Itâs not setting her up for Ivy League or anything but they have advanced classes she can take when she gets a little older. Sheâs happy here, weâre happy here. Hell, we have a yard, Steve. A real yard where she can run and play and just be a normal kid. This is the life I wanted for her.âÂ
âIâm not asking you to give all that up, Buck.â Steve is quick to assure him, âIâm just asking if maybe youâd consider giving us another chance. I know we were only together for a few months but I⌠I fell in love with you. And I donât expect you to feel the same way, Iâm not trying to force you into something youâre not interested in, but if youâd be willing, Iâd really like to give us another try.âÂ
Buckyâs heart swells at the declaration. It was fast, but heâd fallen just as quickly and deeply as Steve. He doesnât know how theyâll work out the distance, but in the spirit of putting their cards on the table, Bucky admits, âI fell in love with you too. Leaving was one of the hardest things Iâve ever done, but I had to protect Becca. Iâm so sorry I ran. Again. Itâs going to be one hell of a commute, but Iâm willing to give us another try.â Â
Steveâs hands are trembling as heâs overwhelmed by emotion. âMaybe it doesnât have to be too far. Iâm sure there are things for a retired centenarian to do around here. If youâre serious about trying, Iâll go back to New York and hand in my resignation tomorrow. I could be back and ready to house hunt by the weekend. Just⌠promise me you wonât run again. Please. If things don't work out then itâll suck, but okay. Just, donât run before giving us a chance to talk it out.âÂ
Pain blossoms in Buckyâs chest at Steveâs plea. He knew heâd hurt Steve twice now by running instead of talking. After this last time, Bucky knew heâd learned his lesson. âThe only place Iâll be running from now on is back to you.â Hope and love shine brightly in Buckyâs eyes as he leans forward to capture Steveâs lips with his own. The kiss is a gentle, a promise for a future together. Theyâre unhurried, losing themselves in the moment as their bodies fall back into sync like no time has passed at all. After a little while the air is too chilly to stay outside and they head in to find Natasha and Becca coloring together as dinner cools on the stove top.Â
âI took it out when it beeped.â Natasha says pointing at the stove, âIt smells amazing, I hope you donât mind sharing.âÂ
âNot at all.â Bucky grins, âWeâd love for you guys to stay for dinner. And if you donât have to be back right away, youâre welcome to crash here for the night too.âÂ
A faint blush spreads across Steveâs cheeks at the idea of spending the night, hopefully in Buckyâs bed. He returns Buckyâs grin readily. âNo place Iâd rather be.âÂ
#stucky#stucky fanfic#non winter soldier bucky barnes#nurse!bucky#parent!bucky#becca barnes#kid!becca barnes#adopted child#captain america steve rogers#shrunkyclunks#marvel#marvel fanfic
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Weekend Top Ten #445
Top Ten Films to See in Cinemas 2020
The cinemas are open! Hurray!
We remain in the grip of a deadly global pandemic and infection counts are rising! Boo!
I love going to the pictures. Itâs one of the few things I genuinely want to leave the house for. Iâm not sure why; thereâs something magical about the whole experience. Traveling to a different building, purchasing tickets, seeing the adverts up in the foyer, walking down snaking corridors, the darkness, the spots of light, the flicker of the projector, the size of the screen, the feel of the sound as it reverberates around the auditorium, the sense of all of time and space slowing down to this one point, this singularity, as you are consumed in the film before you, the only thing you can see and hear, this one enormous moving image before your eyes. Every once in a while even a committed isolationist misanthrope such as myself can also be swept away by the sense of community, of shared experience. Like when the t-rex roared, when the White House was destroyed, when the Death Star exploded, when Cap lifted Mjolnir.
When Cap lifted Mjolnir.
Anyway, Iâve not been able to go to the cinema for months, obviously. And even when they did start opening I felt it was probably too early. But as time has gone on, Iâm starting to hope it can be done safely: masks on, socially distanced auditorium, cashless purchasing⌠is it a daft risk to see a film when there are loads on Netflix? I donât know. Part of me thinks so, but part of me thinks as long as cautions are maintained then it would be fine⌠and I definitely donât want cinemas to go under; I want to try to support the industry and the people who work there.
And I just wanna see some films.
So I was hoping that by now Iâd actually have gone to see Tenet. Thatâs the biggie, obviously; the first really huge film to hit the cinema since lockdown. Others have scarpered, whether to âpremium VODâ (Trolls World Tour), straight to streaming (The Lovebirds), or some bastardised combination of the two (Mulan). And then thereâs the ones whoâve shuffled down the calendar, from Spring to Summer to Autumn to Winter, attempting to outrun the virus like itâs the fire spewing through the tunnel in Independence Day. In fact, as Iâm writing, itâs just been announced that Wonder Woman 1984 has had its date pushed back even further, to Christmas, which may end up having a knock-on effect of delaying Dune till 2021.
Anyway, Iâm going to pretend to be optimistic now, even in the face of what appears to be a long-predicted resurgence of the virus. Letâs say it is, more or less, safe to go back to the cinema. Despite the emptying release schedule, there are still quite a few films going theatrical. And so â in approximate release order â here are the Top Ten Films that I hope I might actually be able to get to see inside a multiplex this two thousand and twenty. Full disclosure: I genuinely donât think Iâll see ten films before the end of the year. Things being what they usually are, I doubt Iâd have managed to see ten films anyway unfortunately, as I donât manage to go even once a fortnight nowadays (ânowadaysâ being relative obviously). But here you go; best case scenario.
Well, âbest caseâ under current circumstances, natch.
Tenet (out now!): Iâll almost certainly be seeing this one at least; Nolan makes films that are designed for the big screen, and with its twisty plot and timey-wimey subject matter, I want to see it before itâs spoiled by the internet.
Bill and Ted Face the Music (16th September): I adored the Bill and Ted films when I was a kid, and everybody loves Keanu (although my favourite was always Bill!). I really want to see their triumphant return, which Iâm sure will be a feel-good joy-fest.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2nd October): Iâm sticking with its old date for now as Iâm not certain itâs moved in the UK, but regardless, I hope I can see this. Although I wasnât wowed by the trailers, the first film was incredible, and I have faith this will be just as great.
Candyman (16th October): the original Candyman was amazing, a truly terrifying horror icon as well as a dark fable about prejudice. With Jordan Peele producing (and rising star Nia DaCosta directing) it has a great pedigree. I donât get to see many horror films nowadays but Iâm looking forward to this.
Black Widow (6th November): I donât think Iâve missed a single Marvel movie at the cinema, so thereâs no way Iâm missing this: finally a solo outing for Avengers stalwart Natasha. Will it answer the question of who lives to be Black Widow going forward?
No Time to Die (12th November): Iâm not the worldâs biggest Bond fan but I do want to see how Daniel Craig ends his tenure. Plus the trailers have been fantastic, especially the sheer badassery of Lashana Lynch and the cocktail dress kung fu of Ana de Armas.
Soul (20th November): Iâve been very reluctant to take my kids back to the cinema, but hope-against-hopefully by November we might all feel sufficiently confident to see the new Pixar, especially as itâs a suitably trippy premise from legendary director Pete Docter.
Dune (18th December): Villeneuve is a true visionary director, an emerging all-time great, so Iâm always excited for his next film; he fills vistas with dark cinematic imagery. The recent trailer knocked it out of the park and I cannot wait to see his take on the classic novel.
Coming 2 America (18th December): maybe this is the least-likely to be seen, but as a big Eddie Murphy fan, and a huge fan of the original from way back when, Iâm intensely curious as to what this will be like. I just hope itâs funny.
West Side Story (18th December): thereâs no way I wonât go see this (he says, thereâll probably be an asteroid strike or something). Iâve not missed a Spielberg since Saving Private Ryan (and apart from Amistad, can go back as far Hook). Heâs my favourite director. Plus I like musicals and I really want to see what he does with this.
So there we go: films to see at the flicks. I hope I see a couple of these, I really do. And then not catch COVID! Thatâd be nice.
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Working with the Land: 5 Ways to Practice Local Witchcraft
In witchcraft, there is no one book that contains all of our knowledge of the practice. Instead, we rely on dozens, if not hundreds, of books to learn our Craft and our place in it. We buy books on a range of witchy and occult topics, filling bookshelf after bookshelf with our collection in hopes that we can learn everything we can. I love reading books on witchcraft and the occult. I love to learn about other people's experiences and the knowledge they have accumulated through years of study and practice. Unfortunately, much of witchcraft is based on practices handed down by witches of European descent. Just about every single book on witchcraft rehashes the same old information, from the Celtic Wheel of the Year to the elements and cardinal directions. Almost all of these practices come from Europe, specifically England, Ireland, and Scotland, with some Norse thrown in there if they talk about runes. Sometimes you will see a bit of Hindu and Native American traditions thrown into the mix, but otherwise, it's largely English (unless you read specifically about a different tradition) There is nothing wrong with this; modern witchcraft and Wicca are based on English and Irish traditions, so it makes sense that most books pull from the same sources that began this resurgence of witchcraft around the world in the first place. However, the longer I have practiced, the more I have come to realize that "traditional" European witchcraft isn't always possible, especially for those that do not live in England!
What do you mean, "it isn't possible?" Every book on my shelf makes references to trees and herbs and even some wildlife that are mostly found in England or in northern North America. If you have been keeping up with me, you know I do not live in England, and I most certainly do not live up North, as much as I may want to. I am stuck in Georgia, a very southern state with hair-raisingly high humidity, melt-your-skin-off summers, and depressingly, rainy winters. I live in the northern part of Georgia, where we have mountains and forests, but just a little south of me the entire terrane changes. Needless to say, I don't have access to rowan or birch trees, hedgerows full of healing herbs and sweet fruits, fresh maple syrup, or even snow (although occasionally we are graced with its presence). Instead, I have pine trees and live oaks, poison ivy, Spanish moss, fire ants, and muscadines. Very different plants grow down here and a lot of those "witchy" plants books always talk about won't survive the summers here, so even if I wanted to grow them in my garden, they wouldn't make it. This is why learning to practice local witchcraft is so important, but where is a witch to begin?
Local witchcraft refers to working with the plants, animals, crystals, and spirits of the land where you live. Witchcraft, especially traditional witchcraft, which is historical, cultural, and folkloric in nature, is highly based on animism. Animism is the belief that all things, living and nonliving, have a spirit and thus vibrate with its own energy. This practice can easily be applied to any witch, no matter their location. Here are some ways you can introduce local witchcraft into your magical workings.
1. Get outside.
This is first and foremost the most important part of local witchcraft. Sit in a local park, go for a hike, or even sit in your front yard. Spend some time relaxing and observing the world around you. Take note of anything or everything you see. Attempt to feel the personality and atmosphere of the place. This in and of itself is a very magical experience. If you want to, write some of these observations down so you can research them later to see their significance or how you can use certain living and nonliving things from your local environment in your spell work. The notes you take while you are just observing will help you later and can get you started on new pages in your Grimoire or Book of Shadows!
2. Adjust your liturgy to your location.
Used a big word there! Liturgy is the form or formula you use during a religious or spiritual act. What I mean to say is, when you set up your altar, cast your circle, or create your magical associations for the elements, use the land around you to help. Many people rely on traditional references to create their altar or pentacle, but it doesn't make sense to place Water to the West if there is a large lake or ocean to your East. Use your locale to determine the placement of the elements. My personal associations are to have Earth associated with North because there are mountains just North of me; Water is East because a lake and the Atlantic Ocean are to my East; Fire is South because the equator is South where the temperatures are much hotter than here; and finally Air is West because the vast, windy plains are to my West. For those of you in the Southern hemisphere, you may wish to place Fire North, as the equator is North of you. If there is a mountain range directly to your East, put Earth East. Using the land to determine your placement of the elements will enhance your craft and make it more relatable to you. Rearranging my associations has completely changed my magic for the better.
3. Learn local folklore and visit local sacred spaces.
No matter where you are if you do enough digging and ask the right questions, you can find some amazing folktales. Hedgecraft is largely folkloric in nature, so using local legends and stories in your craft is important. The stories they tell in Britain about the dandelion are great, and you can definitely use those tales in your magical workings, especially if you are of English descent. I am, so I use it because I connect with it, but my family is has a tale of its own about dandelions from Arkansas, where my dad was born, and I like to use it too. Go down to your local library and see what you can find. Talk to locals who have lived in your area all their lives, especially elderly people. They may not even realize the stories they have passed down are magical folktales, but you will. Go and visit local historical sites, which are usually sacred. For example, I live close to the Kennesaw Mountain Battle Field, which was the location of a pretty large battle during the Civil War. In Atlanta, Macon, and Savannah there are three large, famous graveyards that hold some pretty powerful magic if I do say so myself. On the other side of the lake is a beautiful state park. These places have their own stories and items I can use in my practice. For example, I can pick up grave dirt in Savannah, with permission and an offering of course, or holy water from the Chattahoochee River in Helen that comes straight from the mountains. Find the sacred places in your area and see what they have to offer. Remember to offer a biodegradable offering and only take a little bit so you don't disturb the local ecosystem.
4. Identify seasonal changes and major natural forces of nature.
Some of the practices commonly mentioned in regards to celebrating the Celtic Wheel of the Year don't always make sense to me here in Georgia. In February, we don't have a bunch of snow and if it is a warmer year, plants started budding and coming up by now. It's not often a dormant time here in Georgia. By Mabon, most crops have been tilled, meaning its really not a harvesting time. Most of the traditional foods for Mabon are no longer in season. Some of the moon names also don't always fit either. June, for example, is the strawberry moon, but the peak for strawberries in Georgia is April. Strawberries are done by June! Spend time learning your local seasons and how you can adapt your changes to fit in with the Wheel of the Year. What changes do you see throughout the year? When do the flowers bloom? When are different fruits and vegetables harvested? Which insects are active
at which times? I eat summer squash and blackberries during Litha, instead of Lammas or Mabon. During Ostara, we may have strawberries. Don't just focus on the seasons though. Are there certain storms or wildfires that are common in your area? How can you use them in your craft?
5. Create a genius loci profile.
Genius loci means "spirit of place." As a hedgewitch, it is part of my job to learn about the local spirits, whether they are the spirits of the Otherworld or the spirits that reside in local plants, animals, crystals, and other nonliving objects. Its all well and good to order herbs and crystals offline or to buy them in a shop down the street or using images of animals in foreign countries in your spellwork. However, using local herbs, crystals, and animals often enhances your magic because the land, and therefore local spirits, are more familiar with those creatures. Learn about the species in your area, both plant and animal. Research endangered and invasive species. How can you preserve those endangered species? What can you do to stop invasive species? If it's an invasive plant, learn its properties and pull it up! Incorporate it into your magical workings and save the local ecosystem at the same time. Research local animals and learn about myths and magical associations. Study the local plants and learn their magical and medicinal properties, scientific names, as well as those that are edible. Wildcrafting is such a joy! When you are doing this, remember to keep a detailed record in your Grimoire or Book of Shadows as a reference.
If you practice witchcraft and are looking to increase your understanding and enhance your practice, I strongly suggest you learn about where you live. When you use the land around you in your personal practice, it makes everything more relatable to you and the spirits around you, thus making everything magical.
Do you use your location in your magical practice? Let me know in the comments below!
Looking to learn more? Here are some suggestions on where to get started.
How to Create A Genius Loci Profile by Sarah Anne Lawless
Working with Spirits: Making Friends with the Genius Loci by Lady Athena
Spirits of Land and Place by ThoughtCo
#genius loci#local witchcraft#traditional witchcraft#hedgecraft#hedge witchcraft#hedgewitch#hedge witch#witch#pagan#wicca#wiccan#witches of tumblr#pagans of tumblr
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Outsiders Reclist
This is an Outsiders Fanfiction Reclist- This will be a constant work in progress(Iâll be adding to it whenever I find something I think is worth reading or if I get sent something from someone who wants something added) It will be organized by the main character but keep in mind the fact that just because a fic is under one character doesnât mean it wonât have a very strong influence from another- I hope you enjoy:))
All of these are currently on Fanfiction.Net but I do plan on adding fics from here on tumblr in the future, i just have to go through and find themÂ
*ALSO- If I donât specifically state that a fic is unfinished, assume that itâs done*
PONYBOY
The Origin of Asthma - âAfter a small incident while on a family trip to the lake, a young Ponyboy gets diagnosed with asthma.â K -Â Words: 2,120 -
In the Depth - âIn his school essay, Ponyboy reflects on his soul and the dark depths where it resides.â T - Words: 1,234 -
Home For Thanksgiving - âItâs 1969. Michelle Randle has been away studying at NYU but has come home to Tulsa for a big family Thanksgiving. Itâs 1969. Ponyboy Curtis has been away studying at Columbia University but has come home to Tulsa for a big family Thanksgiving. Both of them are hoping for a nice, calm, happy Thanksgiving - especially as itâs their first one together as a couple.â T - Words: 1,934 -Â
Prom Nights - âPonyboy and Angela both being dateless on prom night sets off very interesting conversations, and moreâ T - Words: 3,152 -
Sneaking In - âPony takes a risk when he helps his brothers sneak back in.â T - Words: 2,631 -
The Bear and His Boy - âIt is a truth universally acknowledged among children that there is no truer friend than oneâs childhood doll or bear and after all even greaserâs were children once.â K - Words: 1,542 -
the clouds will drift away - âSheâs barely on the edge of 14 and the world already feels like itâs ending.â K - OC - Words: 2,649 -
Dumb Drunk - âPonyboy comes back home drunk and the gang decides to find out what heâs been hiding from them.â K+ - Words: 2,050 -Â
Snakes - âYoung Pony never intended on becoming a writerâ K - Words: 4,081 -
Eye of the Storm - âWhen Ponyboy was a baby, he was taken away and adopted by another family. Years later, he meets his brothers again. One-Shot. Ponyboy is aged down at the beginning.â K - Words: 6,365 -Â
strawberry lips - âhis first kiss left him with the taste of strawberry on his tongue.â K+ - Words: 473 -
Multi-chapter
Ten Years Later - âJust my take on what things might be like ten years after the setting of the book.â TÂ - Chapters: 19 - Words: 87,146 -Â
Maybe Someday - âFor Ponyboy, it was only the story of his luckless romance. But in reality, it was so much more than that. Ponyboyâs problems are far from over as he continues to grow up on the rough side of Tulsa, and life gets more complicated by the day.â T - Chapters: 30 - Words: 86,720 -
Esoterically Yours - âPonyboy Curtis meets an acquaintance he has been trying to dodge for yearsâ T - Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 52,860 -
On a Long Road - âSometimes, I wonder what my life wouldâve been like if Iâd never written that stupid theme. If Iâd been allowed to stay with my brothers. If I hadnât been forced to move from home to home.â T-Â - Chapters: 30 - Words: 133,229 - *ABUSE*Â
Out of the Blue - âAfter constant attempts by Mr. Syme at coaxing Ponyboy into sending his theme off to a publisher, he finally does it.â K+ - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,292 -
*Series*
Splintered Ties That Bind -Â âOne letter sent the family in different directions, each seeking the peace that comes only from being together. Time takes its toll, and love is bound by nothingâ T - Chapters: 62 - Words: 118,974 -
Braided Ties - âContinuation of Splintered Ties That Bind, the brothers have found each other, and their lives move forwardâŚWill things ever be the same?â T - Chapters: 21 - Words: 52,860 -
~
Summer Adventures - âThe school year is over, and the lazy days of summer begin. Adventures -good and bad- loom on the horizon.â - T Chapters: 47 - Words: 166,736 -
Autumn Leaves - âCrisp air, falling temperatures - the summer is over. The Curtis brothers face a new set of challenges, and each will be forced to confront a pain they havenât felt in nearly two yearsâ - T - Chapters: 42 - Words: 127,663 -
Winterâs Soliloquy - âA new season, a new story. Ponyboyâs adventures in growing up with only his brothers and the gang to guide him continue.â T- Chapters: 23 - Words: 57,901 -
Springâs Resurgence - âLetting go of the past is hard enough, especially when the future is filled with uncertainties. Spring is calling; new life, new chances, new possibilities. A new adventure beckons them all.â T - Chapters: 34 - Words: 99,873 -
~
Wealth Versus Class - âWe were studying The Great Gatsby at the time and yeah, I got that the book was saying Jay Gatsby could never be a part of the elite no matter how rich he became- but I had been looking at my own life- at real life- at girls like Cherry Valance and guys like Randy Anderson- and thinking the only thing that made us really any different was money.â K - Words: 1,739-
The Quarter - âââIâm sorry I bothered you,â I called after him. âMust be a real pain having the vending machine right out here. People shaking it at all hours?â He stopped and looked back at me almost curiously. âWell, I donât mind when theyâre as cute as you.â I donât know who blushed more deeply but Iâd probably bet on him.ââ K- Words: 1,581 -
The Other Version - â"This wasnât the gentle giant that carried spiders to safety when I threw my shoes at them. This person was steady and determined; ready to hit another person in the face for the sake of a few dollars.â After an attempted mugging, Lizzy isnât sure she knows Ponyboy as well as she thought.â K+ - Words: 1,999 -
~
Love Me Tender, Love Me True - âLily Smith isnât your typical Greaser girl. She wears decent clothes and doesnât drink or smoke. Lily has skipped a grade in school and now she is all alone. That is until she meets Ponyboy Curtis and the gang. She and him fall for each other. The road to happiness is a bumpy one, but is always worth it in the end. Part One of "Love Me Tenderâ series.â T- OC - Chapters: 35 - Words: 135,241 -
All My Dreams Fulfilled - âPart Two of the âLove Me Tenderâ series.â T - OC - Chapters: 20 - Words: 118,700 - *NOT FINISHED*
SODAPOP
Due Diligence - âTrigonometry. Already the bane of Sodapopâs existence.â K+ - Words: 1,757 -
Dividing Lines - âNow that Sodapopâs reached high school, heâs suddenly aware of Darryâs godlike status and isnât quite sure of where he stands.â T - Words: 4,911 -
I Donât Understand - âThe one time Sodapop doesnât get it. The one time he doesnât understand what pain his younger brother is bearing.â T - Words: 2,117 -
Telling Soda - âJo Curtis has some important news to tell little Sodapop Curtis. One-Shot.â T- Words: 2,660 -
Multi-Chapter
Windward Circle - âThis is the story of Dallas Winstonâs little sister, Brooklyn. When Dally dies, her world falls apart. That is, until Sodapop Curtis swoops in and forces her to see that there is still good in the world.â T- Chapters: 29 - Words: 46,506 -
Lightninâ Strikes - ââThat was Joanne. Met her at work today.â Seems like a sensible place to start. Tie in to, and overlapping with, 'Our One Ruleâ and 'Love Me Two Timesâ, but donât tell Soda and Jo. As far as theyâre concerned, this was always their own storyâŚâ T - Chapters: 32 - Words: 109,002 -
STEVE
20 Reasons - â20 reasons why Steve Randle severely dislikes â or so he likes to think â Ponyboy Curtisâ T - Words: 1,354 -
Lighter Fluid - âTwenty facts about Steve Randle, in no particular order.â T - Words: 2,313 -
Stay with me (Just a little longer) - âHe canât stay. He knows that. He knows the longer he stays, the more it will hurt⌠but then, why is it so hard to go?â T - Words: 1,689 -
Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair - âEvie wasnât the only woman in Steve Randleâs life. Itâs just that this particular one sort of haunts him.â K+ - Words: 3,073 -Â
STEVE/EVIE
Apple Blossom - âYou get it, heâs good looking. But he knows it, and you canât stand that.â T - Words: 7,089 -
Bite Me - âEvie has a little explaining to do for the strange mark on her neck.â T - Words: 1,244 -
Canât - âAnd for some reason I canât keep my mind off him, and I donât mind that at all.â T - Words: 980 -
Never AgainÂ
Emotions - âEvie Sandersâ eyes were planted on Steve Randle, and his eyes were, unfortunately, planted on a car.â T - Words: 1,249 -
Next Contestant - âEveryone knows Buckâs can get wild and crazy, but what they donât know is that the very people they are befriending and talking to are willing to take advantage of them at any moment.â T - Words: 1,428 -
Only One - âAll the girls fell for Sodapop Curtis. All except one.â K+ - Words: 836 -
Single Girl - âShe only ever had eyes for Steve.â T -Â Words: 3,687 -
Turn This Engine On - âSteve is working late by himself at the DX, and Evie stops by for some extracurriculars.â T - Words: 2,224 -
Multi-chapter
Fatherhood - âSteve experinces the joys of being a dad and pounders the moments that led up to it.â T - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,325 - *NOT FINISHED*
letâs pause this moment in time - âand I just wanted to say thanks, youâre the only reason Iâve smiled in days. :: a series of stevie drabbles.â T - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,469 -
*Series*
The Only Kind - â'I knew that look. That look had been pulling me into trouble since kindergarten⌠â When Sandy gets Evie a date with Steve Randle, things begin to get complicated. Because Sandy and Sylvia have a hidden agenda and Evieâs getting caught up in the lies, at the same time as sheâs falling for the guy she thought she disliked. Set in the months leading up to the book.â T - Chapters: 24 - Words: 73,218 -
Our Kind - â'Maybe Sylvia was right. Whatever I thought about her motives. Whatever I thought about her actual relationships. She did get the guy she wanted when she wanted him.â Sandyâs gone, their lives are about to be turned upside down. Whose advice will Evie take and how far will she go, to get Steve back? Sequel to 'The Only Kindâ.â T - Chapters: 24 - Words: 86,927 -
Our One Rule - âEvie and Steve are back together and everything is great. Until it isnât. Because revenge is a way of life on the North Side and Evie is about to find out exactly how that works. Third story in series, following 'The Only Kindâ and 'Our Kindâ.â T - Chapters: 26 -Words: 95,907 -
Love Me Two Times - â'He didnât say it often, but when Steve Randle told me he loved me, I believed him. Of course, when he said that 'nothing in this worldâ would keep us apart, I believed that tooâŚâ Fourth story in series, following 'The Only Kindâ, 'Our Kindâ and 'Our One Ruleâ.â T - Chapters: 30 - Words: 96,521 -
DARRY
ETOH - âDarry learns what happens to Ponyboy when left to his own vices.â T - Words: 2,854 -
Heâs Wrong - âAs she prepares for her senior prom, Audrey Holden is forced to face just how much people - and their opinions - can change in just a year.â K+ - Words: 2,692 -
Vivere Pro Aliis - ââYou see me every day. We share a room. I spend more time with you than anyone else on the planet. And right now, Iâm going to a movie with my friends, and you ainât cominâ.ââ K+ - Words: 3,496 -
Slippery - âWet floors can be a handful and rather surprising. Youâll never know where you slip. Darry/TwoBitâ TÂ - Words: 1,667 -Â
First String - âDarry knows making the football team could change his life.â T - Words: 2,985 -Â
Multi-chapter
Sticky Leaves - âDarry has lost his parents. Diana has lost her boyfriend. Maybe, in the end, theyâll both find something they can hold on to.â T - Chapters: 32 - Words: 124,496 -Â
DALLY
Beneath the Surface - âThereâs more to their relationship than jail and cheating. No one else knows it, and half the time they donât know it themselves. A collection of real moments in Dallas and Sylviaâs relationship.â T - Words: 3,853 -
*Series*
Arrogance and Aggression - âArrogance and Aggressionâ is a frothy Jane Austen-esque AU about love and friendship among the greasers (and their sisters). Dallas Winston is aggressive. Lucy Bennet is arrogant. Though she vows to hate him for the rest of her life, she begrudgingly realizes she may be wrong about him and about herself.â T - Chapters: 15 - Words: 63,651 -
Impatience and Impulsivity - âLucy Bennet is impatient. Dallas Winston is impulsive. Somehow, they are still surprised when these traits eventually catch up to them and bite them in their backs.â T - Chapters: 12 - Words: 92,530 -
See My Friends - âThe year 1968 was signalized by a single piece of mail, a terrible and senseless request, which undoubtedly, no one would ever forget.â T - Chapters: 8 - Words: 79,766 - *NOT FINISHED*
JOHNNY
The Date - âJohnny had just realized that Hanna Matthews is not a little child any longerâ T - Words: 1,602 -
Late Hormones - âAfter finding a place to stay for the night, Johnny discovers an unusual change in his body which Dally helps him relieve.â M - Words: 2,564 -
Multi-Chapter
The adventures of Jonathan Cade and Dallas Winston - âWhat if after the murder Johnny went on the run alone, not taking Ponyboy with him. What if instead of Windrixville Dally told him to run to New York. Perfect for all you Johnny and Dally fans as well as everyone else.â K - Chapters: 11 - Words: 29,770 -Â
TWO-BIT
Crescent Moons - âOr, how Two-Bit Mathews got it in his head that seeing his daughter kissing his buddyâs son in the Sunday school classroom on Easter was the worst possible thing that could happen. Also, said daughter may or may not have an obsession with whether or not sheâs named after the Virgin Mary. In short, the Easter of 1989 was one of the familyâs weirder ones.â T - Words: 8,774 -
The Society Pages - âThe society pages the next day spoke almost exclusively of how Two-Bit Mathews had been seen gallivanting around town with the newly crowned prom queen. Everyone agreed that Miss Stevens looked dazzling in her pink formal, and could pull off a tiara. And no, we still donât know who slashed Steve Randleâs tires.â T - Words: 7,349 -Â
TWO-BIT/KATHY
What Chicks Really Want - âEvieâs conversation with Two-Bit, regarding Kathy and what he ought to be doing.â T - Words: 1,564 -
First Date - âTwo-Bit picks Kathy up for their first date ⌠half an hour late.â T - Words: 3,572 -Â
Love Fool - âThree toxic words change everything, but is it for the better or worse?â T - Words: 3,979 -
TWO-BIT/MARCIA
Banana Clip - âI got the usual for Christmas, thanks for asking. Mostly more librarian clothes [âŚ] I swear I have enough for a week straight now without having to wear one twice. One of themâs in that pink you like, though, so maybe you wonât make too much fun of meânot that I donât love your two-bits (I know you think Iâm funny). (Or, Marcia writes Two-Bit, half a world away.)â T - Words: 6,256 -
Keeper - âA post-book oneshot about Two-Bit and Marcia.â T - Words: 1,353 -
Multi-ChapterÂ
Unlikely - âTwo-Bit and Marcia run into each other a few months after that fateful night. What happens is, to say the least, surprising.â T - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,258 -
GIRLS
The Girlfriend Coalition - âThey werenât really friends. They were just girls who knew each other because of who their boyfriends happened to be. Evieâs left to wonder if sheâll ever actually get to meet someone who likes her for her, who doesnât hang around her just to keep up appearances.â T - Words: 3,110 -Â
Multi-Chapter
God Help the Girls - ââŚBut with the girls, the rivalry was played out in near silence; psychological warfare. Nasty rumors and snide remarks. Girls will be girls, just as boys will be boys. It was that way all over America, and surely Tulsa was no different. But, no. It was oh so different in Tulsa.â T - Chapters: 20 - Words: 118,775 -Â
CURTIS FAMILY
The Detective - âYouâre a detective and his eyes hold a mystery for you to solve.â K+ - Words: 1,591 -
The Birth - âThe Curtis parents prepare for the birth of their second child.â K - Words: 1,041 -Â
The cake thief - â Mrs Curtis. Verging on, if not complete, fluffâŚâ K+ - Words: 969 -Â
A Motherâs Love - âA summer trip to visit Grandma takes an unexpected turn when someone shows up earlier than expected.â T - Words: 3,123 -Â
Solemn Simplicity - âThe boys cope through their first Christmas without their parents and the recent loss of their friends.â T - Words: 2,811 -Â
Little Liar - âItâs Ponyboyâs first ever rumble, and the Curtis brothers try to hide it from their parents.â T - Words: 4,647 -
Thatâs My Boy! - âEveryone thought Darry was named in honor of his dad; theyâre wrong.â T - Words: 920 -Â
Multi-Chapter
The Beginning - âPonyboy isnât the only Curtis with a story to tell.â T - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,863 -
TIMÂ
the more is my unrest - âBeing the man of the house is a job with few benefits, but someone has to do it.â T -Â Words: 1,582 -
Breakfast With Shepard - ââŚOnce we even found Tim Shepard, leader of the Shepard gang and far from his own turf, reading the morning paper in the armchair⌠What if Tim Shepard had decided to stay for breakfast?â M - Words: 2,314 -
Multi-Chapter
Going Back Home - âTim Shepard drove out of Tulsa and swore heâd never return, but 14 years later a phone call brings him back to face the past.â TÂ - Chapters: 14 - Words: 29,319 -Â
CURLY
Spin - âLittle did Katie Mathews know that she didnât need the luck of a coke bottle to kiss a certain greasy hood.â T - Words: 1,962 -
Totally worth it - âPony goes to visit Curly in the reformatoryâ M - Words: 1,416 -
Multi-Chapter
Wild Ride - âTo Ponyboy, Curly was the love of his life. To Curly, Ponyboy was just an expendable sex toy. Will Ponyboy bring back the Curly he supposedly remembers from their childhood, or will Ponyboy be left even more heartbroken than he already is?â M - Chapters: 25 - Words: 90,809 -
Curly Shepard Has A Plan - âPony and Curly started 'going steadyâ for a month. Pony didnât want to go further until he was sure of himself, to which, 17 year old, Curly, frustratingly respected. Can a game of Truth or Dare changes things for better? Or for worse?â M - Chapters: 15 - Words: 14,597 -
ANGELA
They Were Gold - âAngela and Ponyboy used to be gold. But thenâŚhe changed them.â T - Words: 2,790 -Â
Young Girls - âWhenâs the last you fell in love, Angel?â T - Words: 8,746 -
Multi-ChapterÂ
Trust - âAs the youngest in her family Angelaâs got a whole lot of reputation to live up to. Usually she enjoys the challenge, but when things go badly wrong thereâs only ever one person she trusts to make things right.â T - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,618 -
OTHER/OC POV
A Work of Art - âShe never expected anyone to understand herâshe expected them to learn from her, for through expression and knowledge deep within the soul is what brought art to life.â T - Words: 5,454 -
Looking back on a burning ember - âIt has been twenty two years since the Windrexvill fire but Barbara has never forgotten the hero who saved her from the inferno.â K+ - Words: 1,025 -Â
I spent way too much time on this and i still havent added fics from tumblr yet and sbahkfdsbjfbjvbfsdfjb but pls do send any fics yâall like to me and ill add them:))
@insanitycaver @sunny-impalas @staygoldponebone @sodapopsundae
#outsiders#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis#ponyboy#Sodapop Curtis#sodapop#steve x evie#evie#Steve Randle#dallas winston#dally#johnny cade#johnny#greaser#curly shepard#angela shepard#tim shepard#shepard#two bit#two bit mathews#the outsiders fanfic
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Hey! I'm sorry you had to get a message like that. I write white ocs too because I'm white and I don't want to disrespect anyone and the message I've mostly got is that it is disrespectful for white people write poc characters, because we don't know what it's really like. There seems to be something in the water because this is second time I've seen this kind of message today. It's really confusing.
Iâd be willing to bet it has something to do with people getting riled up about the Brexit voting and bollocks happening over here (donât get me started), as well as the resurgence in confidence among the bigoted and intolerant.
But you know what? You should write what you are comfortable to write, what you enjoy writing. As wonderful as it would be to fill my writing with diversity, I know that I would not be capable of doing that. If I was writing a book that I hoped to get published, I would be all over that research, I would completely immerse myself in learning everything I could about the experiences of people other than I am, just so that I could represent it accurately. But I also struggle a huge amount with depression and anxiety, and I am very easily overwhelmed. So for my fanfiction, which is an escape and an entertainment for me, I donât want to get stressed out and upset. I donât want to invite that anxiety into my relaxing moments. It isnât that I donât care about diversity and representation, but my priority has to be my own ability to function effectively. I may want to do everything and more, but I know my own limits.
So my fanfiction writing ... yes, itâs a white womanâs perspective from a Western European Christian backgroundâs point of view. I was lucky enough to grow up in a city that is immensely proud of how tolerant it is of myriad religions, races, and sexualities; it still has its bigots and various âphobes, but Iâve not been exposed to that violence against the âotherâ. That is my experience, and it does bleed into my writing.Â
For every writer, the baseline is who they are, where they were raised, what their experience of the world is. A professional author has the incentive and the responsibility to invite the stress and worry of accurate representation and throw themselves into including the diversity of the world around them in their writing. An amateur, someone who write purely for the joy of a character or a setting - they donât have that incentive, or that responsibility. Itâs amazing that so many fanfiction writers do put themselves through that stress to inform their writing, and I have nothing but respect for anyone who will use their leisure time to do something that overwhelms me just thinking about. Just because I canât do it, doesnât mean that other people canât or shouldnât or donât.
I love seeing diversity in fandom; itâs a privilege, and itâs an education that I would not get in my day-to-day. Iâve learned so much about respecting boundaries and cultures, about understanding the differences between us and embracing them, just from my involvement in this fandom on Tumblr, and it makes me happy every time I learn something new. I can only hope, as I learn from so many people and my experience of the world changes, that it, too, will bleed into my writing, and Iâll improve.
All I really want is to write stories that people enjoy, and engage with people over games and characters that I love. Iâve got no room for intolerance, hatred, or bigotry. But Iâll never stop worrying that Iâm being intolerant, hateful, or bigoted in some way, and in a way, that worry keeps me from doing it. I hope. Iâm not here to upset people, and I donât want to be disrespectful. Thatâs my baseline, and Iâm always up for being corrected when I am wrong.
That got rambly, didnât it? Thank you for the reassurance! :)
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I saw somewhere that vampires couldnt see their reflections cause mirrors used to be backed by silver, but now theyre backed by tin or aluminum so vampires should be able to see themselves, what do you think of this?
The reason vampires, theoretically, cannot see themselves in mirrors, is because they are supposedly soulless, and silver is a âpurifyingâ metal.Â
People have been using silver and silver compounds to treat medical problems since the time of Hippocrates (so from at least around and before 460BC), with silver nitrate being used as an antibacterial/treatment for gonorrhea and other infectious diseases, from the late 1800s on wards.Â
Itâs seen a resurgence in the last few years in the form of colloidal silver, despite there being no real conclusive evidence that drinking it (DO NOT) will âcureâ any and all ailments, ranging from skin infections to Autism or AIDS. (Yes really, that is a thing people have done. They freak out over the truly beneficial, life saving vaccine, but will gladly give their children a highly toxic compound which can result in third degree chemical burns, blindness or a condition called argyria which turns your permanently blue), In fact I think there was a study as recent as 2010 that said it actually did the opposite and was not more beneficial than a modern antibiotic, as many quack healers have and are claiming. Shocker.(Unlike colloidal gold which is used by the medical world, primarily in detection methods and also gene therapy. It was also used to be injected into the muscles to treat arthritis and was reported to have some benefits, but I think it has since fallen out of practice in a lot of places. My Nan used to get it done to her hands.)Â
But Joy, I hear you ask, what does any of this have to do with vampires and silver backed mirrors?Â
Well the thing is, silver backed mirrors didnât become a thing until the mid 1800s, roughly around about the same time silver nitrate et al were being fully explored for medicinal purposes, and mistakenly thought to be a cure all.Â
So, what do you do when someone is sick? You give them the latest cure all! What do you do if you live in a part of the world where the fear of vampires is still a thing and the cure all turns them blue and kills them? Shit, they must be a vampire! Â
By that âlogicâ all things silver must repel them in some way, including these new fangled silver backed mirrors which reflect light perfectly. Thatâs why you never see them in the homes of the poor buggers weâre staking into the ground after theyâre dead and cutting their heads off...not poverty or lack of availability in our small town...v a m p i r e s.Â
And from there the new myth grows arms and legsâthough possibly not a head for the poor bugger they just threw into a shallow grave covered in garlicâand the idea that vampires donât have mirrors in their homes because they donât cast a reflection is immortalized in popular fiction and carried over into modern mythology. (The reason for it being deadly to werewolves is down the the Magical Sympathy Law. ie werewolves are controlled by the Moon, so silver (also known as âlunar causticâ when the nitrate crystals solidify) being one of the seven metals of alchemy associated with the moon, must reverse their power or kill them! Science! Kind of...)
And even if your mythos does ascribe to his belief (and thereâs no reason it canât! Itâs a great story prop!) I feel that conversely, this doesnât mean vampires have no idea what they look like or cast no reflection at all, purely that they do not cast a reflection in silver.
People have been hammering metal flat and shiny to make reflective surfaces long before they were using silver backed mirrors. We know that polished copper has been used by people as a mirror since around 3000-4000BC in the region that was once Mesopotamia, and polished smooth bronze mirrors have been found in China dating back to 2000BC. They were rare and precious of course, and a luxury item, so not everyone household would have had one, but even your poorest lowly born vampire would have been able to see their reflection in a dark stone bowl filled with water allowed to sit still long enough, or sitting by the river on a clear calm night.
Which means I feel like writers are missing a trick when it comes to vampires who are so glad that silver is no longer considered an effective means of making mirrors (itâs expensive and harms the earth to keep mining it for vanity purposes) and are just here for metal alloy mirrors. Like holy shit Mary, hold the receiver, we are going to purchase floor length mirrors and put them in every room, you there my good sir, Harrods as fast as you can and donât spare the mechanical horse. Itâs time to SHINE.Â
Donât even get me started on when digital cameras become a thing and silver nitrate is no longer used to develop them, and they print in color. You mean I donât have to keep getting the family portrait updated every few decades? Marvelous! The cost of blue ink is better than it was but itâs still highway robbery I tell you. Sharron, come here and help me put this on the book of faces. Yes, good. What a pity there isnât a way to hold it back far enough for a family portrait whenever you want it. How easy it would be to commemorate moments of joy...a selfie stick?!?! TELL ME MORE
#vampires#vampire tag#you can keep your miserable fuck vampires#I'll be over here playing with the hopeful ones#mythology#historical stuff#toxic-parasite
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What Is Even Happening Right Now?
So, astute readers will have noticed that I've been completely silent since February. Where'd I go for three months? This is going to be rambling and less focused than my usual posts, but perhaps my readers will forgive it. Content warning: pet death, current events Well...frankly, I haven't been able to figure out how to write about what's been going on. Despite years of editing and writing science fiction, including stories about or related to pandemics, actually enduring one myself was not something I seriously considered. I mean, I grew up in the era of both SARS and H1N1, the latter of which I actually contracted. It was a bit scary, and it sucked, but the deaths were relatively few in number, and fewer still, those who developed serious complications. Now, I realise the case was different for those living in Hong Kong and China and South-East Asia in general, but that was my experience as a Canadian. I trusted the medical system to handle a disease of significant scale.
How fact and fiction differ
For starters, the contagiousness of a disease is inversely proportional to its ability to spread. This is something that sci fi usually gets completely wrong - diseases are portrayed as both easy to catch and very deadly. But an extremely deadly disease usually burns itself out. Bubonic plague was an exception to this in part because the way diseases spread in the ancient world is different from the way they spread now - there were a lot more vectors back then because of the lack of knowledge about hygiene. There may be more opportunities to spread diseases now due to the increased population size and contact methods, but human beings have far less contact with blood, other animal species, and each others' bodily fluids than we used to. We know that washing our hands is even a thing we should do, rather than just a cosmetic or convenience factor, and we have functioning sewage and water lines (in many parts of the world, though not all, of course). The world is a lot less gross than it was in earlier eras, and frankly, that's protecting us more than we realise. Not enough, of course, to keep us from contacting new bacteria and viruses, and global warming is also increasing our risk of contracting ancient illnesses for which we no longer have immunity.
The practical upshot
Of course, all of this is intellectually interesting, but living through a pandemic is still flat-out terrifying and hard to deal with. I was already following the news avidly, fearful and concerned about the world, and then...this all happened.
The painful part
But that wasn't all. On April 4th, our cat Maxwell Maximilian Maximus passed away, having a heart attack at the age of about 12. We rushed him to the vet's office, but were told it was too late, and he was in heart failure. I'll skip the painful details, but his sudden death shook both my partner and I quite badly. We later realised he'd had his first heart attack in late November, and had actually been in heart failure for some time, but the benefit of hindsight is a sad one.
Still, having a cat for almost his entire life was a privilege and a joy. Because I hysterically demanded that we fill the "cat-shaped hole" in our home as soon as possible, with tears still on our faces, we went to the non-profit Humane Society to have a look at their cats. I can't recommend that enough for anyone grieving a lost pet - the joy animals have and their appreciation for human company is immense. After a few more visits and some discussion, about three weeks later, we brought home Alfred (Alfred Sylvester Codworth) and Chester (Chesterfield Archer Chestermere), a dignified 4yo tuxedo Ragamuffin-mix and a bouncy 10mo shorthaired tuxedo respectively, both with light green eyes. They get along wonderfully, and although new pets absolutely never replace the old, they made grieving a lot easier.
Cat pictures, because of course. Top: Chester; bottom: Alfred.
Alfred, named for his calm and butler-like solicitiousness, even seemed to figure out what happened to Maxwell. Of course the house still smelled of Max (to the cats), and coming fresh from the shelter, they started investigating to see where the other cat might be. On Alfred's first day at our home, he sniffed the area by the bookshelf in the bedroom where Max had spent most of his time crouching, and seemed to follow the scent trail to the closet where Max hid in fear (an unusual place, one he never spent time in) when the heart attack was happening. Animals instinctively know the smell of death, and Alfred must have recognised it at some point. He somberly padded from the closet to myself on the carpet by the bed. I burst into tears and hugged him, and the calm creature patiently let me sob into his luxuriant black fur. Since then, of course, things have been markedly less glum, and less painfully quiet than during the two weeks and a bit before we brought them home. It seemed like things were looking up. With a 290K fantasy novel to work on, I had professional occupation aplenty to boot. I even re-started my online D&D campaign, feeling that it might help me stay motivated and connected to the world. But the world had other plans.Â
Current situation, protests
Although I've been planning a blog post on Things I've Been Wrong About, such as police reform, I am in many ways not especially well-equipped to speak on the epidemic of police violence and decades of racial injustice that has provoked Black Lives Matter's triumphant resurgence. Suffice to say for now that I fully support these efforts, and I now understand why merely reforming police is inadequate. I will be writing more about some of thoughts about this and other leftist issues in the future, so I'll keep it short for the time being.
You'd think that writing about revolutions would equip me to handle living through one to some degree, but I don't feel especially well-prepared. If I am better prepared than I would have been otherwise, it's hard to say. The truth is, the world's been in a rough spot for as long as I can remember, and by the world, I mostly mean "America," the loudest part. I also am considering a post about what it's been like to grow up as a Millennial, for the purposes of contrasting it with the Gen Z experience, so look for that in the coming weeks.
Do I think this is the apocalypse?
Well, the apocalypse is never the end of the entire world, because that's meaningless - if by "the world" we mean "our experience and lifestyle up to this point," then yes, this is an apocalypse - but we've had those before. The start of the Cold War, the First and Second World Wars, the invasion of North America by Europeans - all of those were apocalypses.
But I also believe that these painful contractions are spasms of death for some of our worst beliefs. The fact that people can even demand justice and be listened to is a significant step forward. However, not resting on our laurels or being content with crumbs is of vital importance, and any momentum gained from demanding either the abolition or restructuring of the police has to be used to demand the restructuring and abolition of prisons and other measures for creating equity.
There's a lot of work to come. We have to stick together, forgive each other sometimes, keep learning, and take time to rest, because the world just won't stop.Â
***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and their two cats. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other peopleâs manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible. Find her all over the internet: * OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi
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TMI meets TMO. (as in, sharing Too Much Info will Talk Me Out of heartbreak, maybe?)
#6.
And yet another week flies by..with nothing to publish. because i havenât been writing over the week.
Actually, plenty of writing, but, very personal writing. Where it was not happening: my tinyletter drafts. Where it was: my yellow moleskin journal i lug around everywhere. And THESE DAYS I really mean everywhere every day becauseâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.. wellâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ WELL. WELL, HERE:
Letâs start with some context.
My last Mainstage production at UC Davis before graduating was the great beautiful and miraculous The Bluest Eye. I kid you not, I felt in my BONES how much this production would affect me. I needed to be in it. I had conflicts with another show overlapping rehearsal/show times. I got cast (joy!!!!!), then dropped (NO!!!!!!!). I caused a lot of ruckus and trouble lol. I insisted I NEED TO BE A PART OF THIS. My gut was one thooooooousand percent right. I wish this kind of ensemble experience for every student theatre artist. In this show, I enjoyed the presence of the most colorful mothafking cast iâve ever seen in a play. We understood the importance of our work and the importance of each other in this work. We threw ourselves into shared purpose. We created and held a treasured space for love and chaos. We brewed so much love it was like a drug in a league of its own; we gave and received so much energy together we were all bonafide high off each otherâs presence.
This show was selected to participate in a festival and compete for national awards and recognitions. Like 1 of 30 across the country. Part of me cannot believe a theatre production from UC Davis Major University for the Sciences was invited to this robust/artsy-theatre-program-school-type-shit festival. But also, part of me knows how special what we put on was, is, will be. The life-sized puppets, the ensemble work, the story, the purposeâââwe shared something rare, relevant and powerful. White Theatre Be Shooketh.
As you can tell, iâm fiercly in love with this production. And the point of this context is that we are now reuniting to put this show back together and take it to Oregon for 1 week this FEBRUARY!
and iâm getting to my point now....
That spring, i told you, i knew being in this show was going to impact me beyond words. But what i could NOT have known. What i never expected. What has been haunting me for months: Falling in love with someone in this show. I couldnât have known that someone Iâd never known before this show was going to shake. me. to. my. core. In meeting this person, knowing this person, falling in love with this person, and letting go of this person, i have undergone and am still getting through a terribly overdue re-awakening of my independence.
It gets really messy okay. For me to go INTO it, i need to go into my my open relationship, my relationship with my then partner of nearing 5 years (who was set to move in with me in the end of spring, closing the gap on our LDR), and my trapezing around town with this person I just met. The short version is this: I was careless, reckless, and naive; ignorant of my partner, ignorant of my needs, and of my own spiritual well-being. At that time, with just that person by my side, i felt fucking invincible. But I was being real clumsy.
Fast forward to the end of that springâââmy partner moves back in with me, i tell this person we need to just be friends now, and everything feels wrong. Iâm lying in bed with my partner, crying my eyes out because i hate letting go of this person. My partner is finally back home with me and Iâm crying my eyes out because the truth was i have never felt for anyone what i felt for this person, and that included my partner. This is, of course, when i realize my partner and i need to break up.
Iâm dumb in love with the most awful timingâââit is absolutely not the right time for me to âbe with someoneââââand the most obstinate hubrisââââI can handle the dramaâ. The relationship between me and this person is becoming increasingly tumultuous. I feel distance; I feel coldness; I feel confused. I keep biting my tongue; I keep second-guessing myself; I keep killing my impulse. I keep telling myself this is what I want! I want HIM! But what the fuck do I know about what i need? I havenât been single in 5 years. I can barely recognize myself. Thereâs so much self-discovery to do. I had no business trying so hard to be with someone, when i didnât even give myself the chance to consider what it meant to be alone.
I was absolutely in need of time with myself. Time for myself. time alone. alone. alone. alone. alone.
I understood this when I spent the following summer in Vermont. off grid. in frequent solitude. and the fellowship of a beautiful few.
I nearly forgot it when i came back from Vermont, and started trying to be with That Person. Dare i admit i became desperate? I opened myself wide open to you, in such haste, that I nearly hallowed myself of all my hard-earned and beloved sacred energy to make any kind of space i could so that you would fit. so that i could maybe possibly somehow someway make it fit, make it work. Obvious spoiler: it didnât work.
When i was trying to make it work, i was someone different. My best friend had never seen me in such a state: so in love with someone, and so unable to get a grip on myself. Sitting across from me, or soothing me on the other end of the phone, she is shocked to witness me so paralyzed, so fearful, so insecure. She wants the best for me and i donât care, i just want him. As I run this back through my memory, I am shocked too. Iâm a little embarrassed but mostly deeply empathetic towards myself then: i needed to be alone, but i couldnât let go. Whatever i was trying to haveâŚWhatever i was holding ontoâŚwas suffocating my life. And I insisted on being choked and being fine.
How did this become the cliff notes to my love life? I want to share with you the magnitude of this personâs affect on my heart, so that when i say: I HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN FOR THIS FESTIVAL
you understand
the
storm
resurging
in a place i thought was healing.
I was healing. I was letting go molecule by molecule. I was steaming off the memories layer by layer. I was cutting myself off from dangerous dwellings. I was doing my god. damn. best. to thoroughly leave this person in the past where this whole thing belongs.
Yet, The Bluest Eye is reviving for at least one more stretch in February. Iâve just come back from Davis (last night Sunday); we had our first full meeting and puppet rehearsal. This is to say, i saw the guy, in the flesh, and spent the whole week prior bracing myself for it. In the spirit of self-effacing honesty: i nearly didnât go. But i decided it is a test of strength and it is a test of independence and it is allowing my craziness to overcome my insecurities. I was going to be in a room with this guy for 5 hours and dig my nails into myself, stay loyal to myself, and be Who I am unyieldingly. I felt really good about it when i left. I proved to myself that i could be the open and loving person i am even if the guy wrenching my heart is 5 feet away.Â
Being so distracted and confused by the pain and longing that i missed the opportunities to exchange energy with the rest of the room around me would have been my biggest regret.Â
As i said, i left feeling quite good, proud, and at peace with my vulnerabilities.
Maybe iâm not 100% recovered, but iâm clearly, very clearly, in the THICK of recoverING, and i am truly growing, and moving forward step by step by step.Â
In Davis, my good friend tells me: âif itâs not good for you, itâs not loveâ. Before I left for Davis, my best friend reminded me: âyouâre trying too hard to fill in the blanks.â Iâve learned: âYou canât give what you canât give.â (More familiar is the saying: you canât give what you donât have.)
To be completely honest, this beautiful show getting this beautiful chance at national recognition has ripped open such deep, old, ill-healing wounds in my heart. with a GIANT sigh, i am re-facing re-surfacing emotional ghosts, hurled back into combatting some very volatile mood-swinging emotional crises. In my personal journal this week i worked up a motherfkn STORM. My journal may as well be dripping from all the gel pen.
and meanwhile, my tinyletterâs been blank blank blank blank empty dusty blankâŚâŚâŚâŚ and somehow, addressing my lack of tinyletter-ing, has revealed a very private part of my life. it is true: i was very busy private journaling, i didnât have steam to write for the blog.
now i feel kind of sick this is the story for this week, i mean this is what came out, but this is all âVERY PERSONAL TERRITORY KEEP OUTââ. itâs honestly sort of unfortunate that this weekâs letter has be to about my love life.
well there we go anyway.
Wow, Well, To leave on a more caustic, casual note~
THOUGHTS I KEEP COMING ACROSS AS I USE HINGE............
so many Del Playa/Newport, suit wearing, beer touting, IM ON A BOAT white bro motherfuckers (this is the first demographic i kept seeing on my recommended. happy to say hard passing each and every one of them has changed the algorithm).
why tf is pineapple on pizza such a hot topic lmao
BUT WHATâS THEIR ENERGYYYYYYYYYY LIKE??????!!!!!!
But how old are these pictures man *scrutinizing any available time stamps*
Oh, :O HEâSâŚâŚâŚnot the cute one in the picâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Pictures say 33 but profile age says 23, iooonnooooo sir
weird flex weird flex weird flex
if you think theyâre 20 miles away from you, always add 20 moreâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
am i having an averse reaction to your profile because you remind me of someone? ~_~
am i really attracted to your profile because you remind me of someone? ~_~
ARE THESE SHENANIGANS THE BEST USE OF MY TIME???????????
It seems this is what comes out of me when I have nothing prepared to write about...
Nothing like rashly revealing too much info to motivate a better, more though-out next week. LOL.Â
wish me luck, and see you then.
* * *
iâve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week. if u want it straight shot to your inbox: https://tinyletter.com/rose-artrat
previous letter:Â Â #5.) God Bless a Good Mess
for random thoughts, random questions //
http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask
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A Gerudo Story: Tebanem and Klinge.
Klinge toured the castle halls. He enjoyed the small walks he could have on his own around the castle interior, taking in the grandness of it all. So much history over the generations, personal included as well, in every inch. His concentration, however, was broken by two young men running around the corner, one of them smashing into him and falling into the floor.
Keeping his balance from the crash and looking down Klinge saw Prince Tebanam on the floor, and a son of a court member if Klinge recalled, panicking from the collision.
âOw, that really hurt.â
âTebanam, are you alright?!â
Klinge screamed internally from potentially harming the prince but kept steady. Tebanam was such a care free lad, and Klinge enjoyed how the prince took great interest in Gerudo history. If he unintentionally hurt him he would never forgive himself.
âPrince Tebanam, you are not hurt are you sir?â
âIâm fine Commander. Sorry for running into you.â
âYou can address me as just Klinge Prince Tebanam. No need for âCommanderâ.â
âThen in return how about we just leave it at Tebanam if you donât want formalities.â
Tebanam gave the commander a smile. Klinge reached down and yanked Tebanam up to his feet.
âIâd recommend getting checked out for head wounds. Running straight into a heavy suit of armour canât be good for you.â
âComing from the guy whose personal training gets me and my brothers and sisters rocked around like ragdolls. I think weâll be fine.â
The boy with the prince dusted him off with deep concern in his eyes.
âYou sure youâre alright?â
âYeah, heâs intentionally given me worse. Iâll be fine.â
âAlright, good. I need you in peak condition.â
Tebanam gave him a smile beaming with joy.
âLetâs go. And sorry for once again running into you Klinge.â
âThink nothing of it.â
Klinge watched as the two boys ran off. They had a sparkle in their eyes that brought Klinge back to a younger time in his life. Ah, the joys of youth. Klinge continued his stroll down the castle, noticing the rainbow shining through the window. Looked like the storm outside had just finished.
-Â
âLazy oaf, sending me to do something he could get in an instant.â
Klinge made his way down to the basement of the ninth tower. Ghirahim wanted him to collect a scroll of some sort from storage, insisting it was important, but not important enough to grab himself. And since the demon still outranked him, Klinge had little say in the matter on being a dog going to play fetch. Â
Klinge yanked open the door to the basement and descended down the steps. He looked around some of the shelves but didnât see any scroll. Must have been in the closet door. Opening it he came to a sudden stop. Before his eyes he saw Tebanam and the younger man from before, naked and on top of each other in passionate love making. Tebanam was thrusting up and down.
When Tebanam eyes took notice of the armoured warrior, he locked onto him with a burning primal fear exploding.
âOH MY GOD! Get out!!!â
Klinge quickly stepped outside and shut the door. He heard the panicked rushed voices coming from the two men. Klinge took a moment to process what he just saw, and, with a deep breath, knocked on the door. This would take the most careful planning of words and intention. A prince and the son of a council member engaging in sexual intercourse. The scandal would be worse than any in Hyruleâs history. Klinge tried to soften his words with his tone.
âIâm coming in about ten seconds. Get changed.â
Klinge waited a moment, and opened the door. The two young men had at least their pants on, and fumbled their way on getting their shirts on.
âBoys, calm-â
âNo, you werenât supposed to be here!â
âLord Jazoh please-â
âNo heâs right, what the hell are you doing down here!?â
âI came to get a scroll Prince Tebanam.â
Tebanam looked to his right and threw the closest piece of paper at Klinge. Tears were streaming down his face.
âThere you go. Now get out!â
âPrince Tebanam I-â
âJUST GO!â
Klinge firmly shut the door and blocked the only exit out, using his large frame to keep them in.
âNo.â
âWhy, so I can feel more embarrassed?!â
Klinge took a softer stance. He had to let Tebanam know that there was no danger.
âBoys, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I want you to trust me. However, Iâm going to have you both just take a deep breath and calm down.â
Tebanam and Jazoh looked at each other, and did as they were told, but still had worry in their eyes. Jazoh looked at Klinge, the black knightâs presence unnerving him.
âIf my father finds out about this-â
âHe wonât.â
âYou sure?â
âNothing leaves this room. Tebanam, how long has this been going on for?â
âAlmost a month now.â
âWhy keep this a secret?â
Jazoh shuddered, barely able to stop shaking from the thought of what would happen if this got out.
âBecause my father would never allow this. As a member of the court he despises the very thought.â
âI see. Rinkuâs first girlfriend made Zelda have a panic attack; can imagine how those stooges in the court would burst in comparison.â
âThatâs why this has been a secret. No one can find out. Not Moma, Papa, or anyone else.â
âI understand. But you both should know that the King and Queen would support you in the end. And you have my support. Love, no matter what shape, shouldnât be something that is ridiculed and snuffed out.â
âBut-â
âFollow your hearts and do whatâs right. And I promise, as ex. Head of the Royal Guard, and your protector, you are safe with me.â
Klinge crossed his heart and smiled under his helmet.
âItâs our little secret.â
Tebanam gave a huge sigh of relief and hugged the Darknut, catching Klinge off guard with the sign of affection, and tears of joy starting to fall down even harder.
âThank you. Thank you so much.â
Klinge patted him awkwardly on the back. He barely received this kind of contact anymore. It was nice though. Never having a child himself, Klinge couldnât help but see himself as father figure sometimes. Hell, the kids even sometimes called him âUncle Klingeâ as little children. It filled him with pride to help Tebanam.
âAnytime Tebanam.â
Klinge let go, grabbed the scroll, and started to leave.
âIâll go now. So sorry for interrupting you. And this wasnât a bad spot to hide all things considered.â
Klinge gave small one handed salute.
âHave a fine rest of your evening gentlemen, and know you arenât alone.â
-
Klinge exited the board room of Captains, council members and other military leaders. It had been a long meeting over the petty charade of how to integrate Lorleidian guards into noble protection units. The snotty men and woman argued and debated why they wanted pure Hylian units watching them. He turned to Captainâs Kelly and Tulilad with an angry gruff. Â The insults were unbearable today. Against the Lorleidians sure, but also oddly enough a resurgence against the Gerudo.
âGod damn nobles. How they are still able to come up with new insults infuriates me to no end. I am close to boiling the next fool uses his tongue in such a way. Donât they understand that sacrifice to their pleasure must be taken to achieve success? It took so many goddamn years for them to get used to the Goblins and Undead, now we have to restart the whole damn thing over again!â
Both Captains rolled their eyes. Tulilad picked up his stride to keep up with the Commander.
âSir, maybe you and the nobles would get along more if you didnât undermine them every given chance.â
âOr threaten them.â
âBy and I quote, âCrushing their greedy fat eyes into their skullsâ if they couldnât see change.â
Klinge shrugged his shoulders. He had never gotten along well with the nobles of Hyrule. They represented everything wrong with the country. He was fine with a relationship of fear between them, because they knew who would come out on top in the end. Klinge even had a few secretly assassinated over the years against the ones who would dare plot to end the lives of the royal family. He understood why they were necessary to the country, but by god did he wish Ganondorf had just done away with them all when he became King. Maybe when Zarazu ascended the throne she could be convinced to make some changes to the hierarchy.
âSpeaking of that, I appreciate the gesture, but perhaps in the future we should watch our words.â
Klinge turned to see Queen Zarazu exit behind them. The Lorleidian had bags under eyes from the stress of keeping her composure in. She was glad her friend was there to be the first to put the council in its place and back her up. Her people had done so much for Hyrule over the years, yet those damn nobles still fought tooth and nail to stop change from occurring.
Klinge smiled to the Queen, a mischievous smirk forming on his lips. How odd, over the years he had grown more human and expressive with his emotions.
âAw come now, Iâm sure it would be fun. Besides, there is so much you can do to those vultures. You ever seen a rich man run around with his wig cut to pieces, or better yet, on fire? Damn hilarious.â
Zarazu gave a laugh. The manâs dark sense of humor amused her, at least when directed towards the right people.
âIâm sure it would.â
âSeriously though, on your command. Poof.â Klinge made a motion with his fingers and a small amount of dark fire flickered in his hand.
The two shared another jolly laugh. Tulilad and Kelly looked at the Knight and the Queen in amusement. It was nice to see their Commander have opened up to more people over the years. Especially after his first encounter with Queen Zarazu. She had brought a new and, dare they say, caring side to the Commander that before could only be rarely seen.
After the warrior had said his goodbyes, Klinge went around the corner to go into his private courters when he found Ganondorf waiting for him at his door. Oddly enough the king and a few others had been missing from the meeting. Klinge knew immediately by the look of rage that something was wrong.
âYes, my liege?â
Ganondorf trotted up to him and yelled right in his face.
âMy office. Now!â
Klinge did as he was commanded. He tried to quickly recall if he had done anything out of line. Entering the office he found Zelda sitting at the end of the desk with a bottle of gin next to her. Her glare was ice cold and pointed straight at him. Klingeâs muscles tightened, he was not in the mood to have a snapping argument with the queen.
âTake a seat Commander.â
Klinge did as he was told, but only because Ganondorf was in the room with her, taking a seat beside his wife. If Zelda wanted to be on point, so would he.
âWhat is this about?â
âThis is about our son, Tebanam.â
Klingeâs mind cracked like a piece of glass. There could only be one reason for him being called here. They knew, and if they knew then others must have known. Yet he put on a poker face in his voice hoping for a different outcome.
âWhat about the Prince?â
Ganondorfâs fingers cracked.
âDonât be coy Klinge. You know exactly what.â
Damn it. So they did know. Klinge still tried to keep up the façade in his voice though.
âI donât know what you are-â
Ganondorf slammed his fist into the desk, dark energies rippling.
âYou know exactly what we are talking about here you bastard!â
Fine, no point in hiding it now.
âI do not see what this has to do with me. The princeâs sexual preference matters not to me!â
âSo you did know, why did you not come forward to us right away? We are his parents. If you told us what happened between him and  Jazoh, the situation may have not grown out of control.â
Klingeâs hands tightened, a pit in his stomach growing.
âWhat situation?
Zelda gave a sigh and squeezed tightly around her glass.
âUro Spegeil, Jazohâs father, somehow found out about the relationship between his son and Tebanam. Rumors are already going through out the court. When we asked our son who knew of his âactivitiesâ with Jazoh, he told us you were the only one who knew.â
Klinge stood up from the chair. He had to see Tebanam and see if he was ok.
âI can fix this.â
âSit down Klinge! Because you didnât tell us right away, the situation has spiralled out of control. We could have done something to help him!â
Klinge snapped at Zelda, he knew exactly what the damn Hylian meant by âhelpâ.
âReally, what would you have done Zelda? Placed guards around Tebanam, given him a scolding to âfixâ the way he loves people? Because it worked so well the first time around after you discovered Rinkuâs first relationship! God forbid you love a child who can explore their sexuality!â
The small bottle almost broke under Zeldaâs rage from the commanders comments.
âHow dare you. I love my children for who they are.â
âPlease, being gay isnât a high Hylian standard and you know it! If you had it your way, your perfect flowery Hylian way, you would have-â
âBe silent Klinge!â
Klinge looked over to see Ganondorf slam his fist once again into the desk, shattering it in two. Klinge, however, was still angry himself, and would not be dismayed by Ganondorfâs power.
âKing Ganondorf, Queen Zelda. If you brought me here to scold me you are wasting your time. I didnât tell you because I felt it was in the best interest of Tebanam. I wanted his privacy to come first!â
Zelda breathed deeply. She had tried so long to keep her children safe, both physically and mentally, but now a terrible omen laid in her stomach. The courts, who had despised her husband and children for years, finally had something to tear their teeth into. The only minimal bit of comfort she felt was that Klinge did what he though was right and legitimately cared for her son.
âIf you donât mind your majesty, I wish to see the young prince.â
Ganondorf was hesitant, but Zelda gave a tired nod, with one final fiery glare at Klinge.
âI doubt your looking for permission but you may proceed. Just know this, if anything like this happens again with our children, and you keep the knowledge to yourself, I will have your undead head removed from your body.â
Klinge growled from her threat. Even now they still couldnât be fully at peace with each other. If Zelda wanted to take her stress out on him from the situation, that was fine with him.
âIâll remember that comment the next time an assassin sneaks his way into your room Zelda.â
Klinge stormed out of the office before either the King or Queen could have a reaction from his comment and made his way as quickly as he could to Tebanemâs room. Just as he made it and was about to open the door, he heard someone behind him. Turning around, he then had to look down to see Rinku, her short stature easily recognizable.
âOh, Commander Klinge, long time no see. What are you doing here?â
âIâm here to see Tebanem.â
A small look of grief and pity graced Rinkuâs face. She knew exactly what her brother was going through.
âYeah, me too. Say, why donât we go in together.â
Klinge nodded his head. It would be nice to have some support on this. Opening the door he let Rinku in first. Tebenam was by his window, curled up and watching the night sky. From this distance he was looking out to the lands beyond Hyrule.
âHey bro.â
Tebanem turned his head, surprised to see his elder sister. His eyes looked devoid of colour and life, as if something had been ripped from his very soul.
âHey sis.â
Rinku walked over to him and sat beside him. âYou doing alright?â
âNo.â
âYou want to talk about it?â
Rinku put an arm around her baby brother for support. Thankfully Tebanem didnât object. However when the prince saw Klinge a bitter anger started to grow in him.
âKlinge.â
âYes, Tebanem?â
âYou said that everything was going to be alright.â
Klinge did not like where this was going.
âI did. I told you it was our secret, and I didnât make that public.â
âYet the information got out anyways.â
âTebanem, your family and I can help you. I told you youâd be safe, you and Jazoh can still have a happy life together. I wonât let your mother or even the nobles get in the way of that. Thatâs a promise on my part.â
Klinge reached a hand out for Tebanem. God he just wanted him to be happy. The smile Klinge wore slowly disappeared as he released Tebanem had no intention of reaching out.
âJazohâs gone.â
Both Klinge and Rinku had surprise slapped across their faces. Rinku held her grip on her brother a little tighter.
âWhat do you mean?â
âAs I walked through the castle today I picked up on the new remarks whispered behind my back by the staff and nobles. I quickly knew what this could only mean so I hurried to find Jazoh. Instead I found his father. He told me he had sent Jazoh away to be cleaned in spirit. He called me a disgusting desert pig swine who stole Jazohâs heart and corrupted him and that he would do everything in his power to make sure my name was damaged beyond repair.â Tebanem started to have tears come down his face, yet he retained his low tone, never breaking into a sob. These were the tears of a broken man. âI never even got to say goodbye. So what the hell can you possibly keep safe Commander.â
Klingeâs hand shaked. Guilt stabbed him in his gut. He should have watched more carefully over the boys. âTebanem, I only wantedâŚâ
âGet the hell out.â
Rinku watched as Klinge took a physical step back. She had never seen the Commander so rattled by words before.
âTebanem, thatâs not fair to Klinge.â
âI want him gone Rinku.â
Klingeâs hand slowly balled into a fist. With a small bow, he reluctantly followed the princeâs command. âAs you wish, your highness. I suppose youâd like to be with actual family now.â
âI would. Now leave.â
Klinge left the room and slowly shut the door behind him. The balled fist he had squeezed tighter and tighter, until blood started to leak from it. The prince was angry at him because he couldnât protect him. Klinge had failed him, had completely shattered his promise. Klingeâs eyes then flared from sadness to wrath, a hatred kindling inside him. If he couldnât protect Tebanem from the ridicule of the court, he would avenge him. Starting with the bastard who dare hurt him so.
-
Uro Spegeil entered his living courters and sat at his desk. Sending his son away out of Hyrule was taxing, as well as arguing with boyâs mother on doing so. But seeing the look of fear as the young Gerudo prince squirmed when he told him that heâd never see Jazoh filled Uro with content. How dare that ingrate, that desert rat confuse Jazoh so, and worse, defile him before wedlock.
Uro took out his secret stash of wine from his draw and poured himself a glass. Taking a sip he nearly dropped his bottle when he finally noticed the figure standing in the corner of his room, illuminated by the moonlight peering through the room.
âWhoâs there?! Identify yourself before I call the guards!â
âI am the Guard.â
Klinge walked forward more into view, his presence towering over the noble. Uro wasnât sure what the High Commander wanted.
âWhy have you broken into my room?â
âI told you, I am the Guard. I protect the royalty, and you have made the terrible mistake of targeting Prince Tebanem.â
âAre you here to threaten me? Because if you are, just leave now. I wonât be dismayed in my actions, that little rat deserves everything coming to him. Besides, you canât do anything, I havenât broken any laws.â
Klinge took another step closer to Uro, his hands crackling.
âYou hurt my boy. And for that, I am going to kill you.â
Uro dropped his wine glass in terror and took as much distance as he could between himself and Klinge as he could.
âAre you insane? Iâm a council member! You canât touch me!â
Uro desperately tried to find something to defend himself, grabbing a small dirty butter knife.
âThatâs right! If you do touch me, people will know it was you. How many times have you threatened to tear a nobles head off or stab him to death?â
âThatâs why Iâm not going to lay a finger on you.â
âWhat in godâs name are you talking about?â
Klinge merely pointed down to the broken bottle on the floor. Uro didnât quite get it until a feeling in his gut started to stab him. Falling to his kneeâs his eyes started to bulge and the air turned hot. He looked up through the red haze and the pain to see Klinge stand over him.
âNot the first time Iâve done this. Your right though, a more hands on approach would give myself away, so thatâs why I only use poisons for situations like these. You can thank the Deku for coming up with such a dangerous toxin. Burns up your organs, causes you to exert any fluids and feces you have from your body, cuts off the air supply, as well as put you in the most unimaginable pain after a minute of taking it. Well, if you arenât a Deku that is. Donât worry though, thereâs always able body nobles just itching to have your position, and nobody will miss you.â
Uro started tearing at his throat, desperate for any kind of clean air.
âI do hope you savoured that wine. Maybe in the next life youâll think twice about hurting a Gerudo you Hylian mutt.â
Klinge watched the last bit of life be torn from Uro as he twitched on the ground, foam and blood leaking from him. Feeling content with what he did, he left the room as fast as he could. Best nobody witness him at the scene of the crime.
-
A little more than a month had passed since Klinge slew Uro. People were shocked, but assassinations against nobles were nothing new. Hell, this actually helped Klingeâs case on convincing the nobles to not be picky with having Lorleidians be there bodyguards. Yet, Tebenam had still refused to talk to him. Klinge thought that he out of most would be thrilled for Uroâs death.
Klinge decided that maybe he should confront Tebanem directly. Maybe it would be best for Klinge to tell him he was actually sorry in his failure to protect the boy. At least then he could feel less guilty. Over the last month Klinge had threatened more and more nobles daring to speak out against Tebanem, and those were against just the rumorâs he heard himself. He hoped the stress wasnât too much for Tebanem. It had been a week since he had been at the castle, just coming back from an inspection, he worried about the boy immensely every day he was gone.
Klinge knocked at the princeâs door. Â âPrince Tebanem? Are you there? Itâs Klinge.â There came no reply from the other side. âI just wanted to say that I am sorry.â Once again came no answer. After a minute of waiting and the occasional knock, Klinge decided Tebanem wasnât in his room. Maybe one of his siblings would know.
Klinge made his way through the castle, until he found Kanisa practicing her dancing. My how she moved like the wind. When she took notice of the commander, she didnât stop her practicing until she was finished. With her last stride she took a bow towards Klinge, who gave her a clap of congratulations.
âNicely done Kanisa. I can see why so many have fallen for you. No one can make a heart sing for joy like you can.â
Kanisa blushed from the commanderâs compliments.
âWhat can I do for you Klinge?â
âActually I was hoping to find your brother, Tebanem. I havenât spoken to him for a while and I just wanted to check in on him. He wasnât in the library or at his room. I thought you or one of your siblings would know.â
The smile on Kanisaâs face died off and was replaced with that of a burden.
âOh, you didnât know.â
Klinge was curious, but a little worried at the same time. Did something happen to her brother while she was away?
âKnow what? Kanisa, please, if there is anything you need to tell me, do so.â
Kanisa walked off the stage and took one of Klingeâs hands and held on gently.
âKlinge, Tebanem is gone. He left the castle four days ago. I⌠I donât think heâs coming back.â
Terror went through Klinge. He should have been there to stop Tebanem, or to at least talk to him.
âWhy. Why would he leave?â
âHe couldnât handle it anymore. The people of the court kept ridiculing him, despite everyoneâs best interests to protect him. So he just left it all behind.â
âNo.â Klinge looked towards the exit. His mind was racing. He had done everything he could to protect Tebanem. Given him extra protection detail, threatened nobles, even bribed people to stop antagonizing him. He started to move towards the exit, if he hurried, maybe he could pick up a trail. Kanisa still held on, stopping him from going forward.
âKlinge please, heâs gone. There is nothing you can do now.â
Klingeâs hand shook in Kanisaâs. He started to tremble throughout his body.
âNo, you donât understand. I was supposed to protect him; I was supposed to protect you all. Yet, even after I promised him safetyâŚI failed. I failed to protect him. IâŚâ Klingeâs guilt caused him to collapse into Kanisaâs arms in a supporting embrace. âOh goddesses, I wasnât there for him. I told him heâd be safe, yet I failed. I failed Kanisa.â
Kanisa soothed the commander as much as she could. She was glad that someone had tried so hard to look after her brother and cared for all of her siblings so much.
âThis isnât your fault. Things will work out in the end, trust me.â
Despite her kind words, Klinge felt nothing but misery in his heart. Since his reincarnation, he had barely felt human emotion besides rage and wrath, or the pleasure of others pain. But now he felt true sadness. After failing to save Cipher and his child, he considered this his second biggest failure in life.
-
â âAnd so Ralco carried his beloved Cleo down the steps to his horse carriage, ready to whisk her off to a far off country. This was his last chance for escape. Â Suddenly, Baron Von Issia stepped into view and drew his blade. He was hell bent on making Cleo his. Taking his blade, the baron stabbed the thief through the heart, saving Cleo from the scum!â God damn it Issia, Cleo isnât yours to take!â
Klinge continued to read his light novel, becoming more furious as he discovered Issia was the one to end up with Cleo. A whole three hours and this was how the book ended?! He slammed the book close and threw it in the garbage heap where it belonged. His private office was filled with unfinished crafted weapons, scrolls, books, and documents stacked upon each other. He had a special shelf for historic books and novels Kanisa had recommended. His walls were always filled with weapon racks containing old swords and armour, mostly Gerudo, but now also on the walls were drawings and small paintings he had done.
Klinge turned to the painting of the Gerudo Desert he still had to complete. It was odd how much free time he had on his hands now a days. True, he always had the freedom to do tasks at his own pace, but when he first moved into the castle, there was always someone that needed drilling, inspections to sort out, criminals to hunt down, look out for threats against the royalty, etc. Even after he promoted Tulilad to the head of the Royal Guard, he still trained knights, help raise and teach the children, stop more than one war against Hyrule, as well as put an end to other disasters. There was just no time in the early years to focus on something more than just combat, bloodshed, and hatred. Now he could justâŚdo things. He found himself getting bored, and like any enemy, heâd do anything to kill it.
Klinge took the brush and carefully continued his work. The brush was his dagger, making clean strokes. Even when he was living he never did this, but he had learned so much culture even in just the last twenty-nine years that it inspired him. And after some practice, he was getting very good at his craft. If mastering weapon and martial art techniques could be done, then so could this.
After another hour he was done. Klinge looked the bright orange and the curves of the sand, and was especially proud how he got the shadow right with the sun. Looking at the painting alone he started to miss home. The blazing heat, the warm feeling you get when you stood barefoot on the sand, the cool breeze at night. It had almost been five-hundred years since his birth, how he longed to feel the desert as a living being again. A loud bang at his door shattered his concentration. He could hear the muffled voice of Tulilad from the other side.
Klinge walked over and unlocked his door, starting from the bolt at the top, the chain in the middle, then finally bar. As High Commander he couldnât be too careful of assassins in his rest. Klinge stood perfectly with the door open just enough so Tulilad couldnât see inside his room.
âYes, Captain, what is it?â
âSir, Iâve been at your door for five minutes trying to get your attention.â
Klinge was surprised. He concluded the painting must have captured him more immensely then he previously thought.
âSorry to keep you waiting. How can I help you Tulilad?â
âCommander, itâs Prince Tebanem, heâs back from one of his expeditions.â
Klingeâs heart skipped a beat from hearing that. It had been so long since he had seen the prince. Unlike Orana, whenever the prince came back from home, he barely stayed long. Also, because of these short windows, Klinge had missed the first two times Tebanem returned, as he was out on assignments outside of the castle for days at a time. First Kanisa and her new lover Vidar had come back from the North for a visit, now Tebanem had arrived here at the same time? The gods had favoured his hand this day.
âThank you for alerting me of this Captain. I will be down to see him immediately. Just give me a moment first.â
Klinge shut the door and went over to the painting he had just finished. He had planned this being displayed above his bedroom, but now he had a new idea. What better gift to give to Tebanam then this? Rolling it up carefully, Klinge sealed up with scroll wrapping and hurried his way done the palace. As he walked through, he heard the buzzing of the staff, all them excited for the princeâs return. To be perfectly honest, Klinge was worried. The last time he saw the boy, although it had been many years, Tebanam was in a hurt state. He hoped he fared better now. Â
He heard the excitement come from the family room behind the door. At least it seemed like they were in good spirits. Klinge crossed his heart for luck and entered.
âSo Faris and I were double crossed. The Baronâs guard were moving to box us in and steal back his treasure. With all the artifacts in hand, we stuffed ourselves into the mine cart and rocketed ourselves down the shaft. At the end, was an opening to outside the mountain, and we flew out to the lake below, having the water save our skins. By the gods it was a hell of a ride.â
The whole family laughed from Tebanem story. Klinge saw how the boy grew, and how the spirit he had before the scandal was back in him. And by Din, the facial hair on him.
Klinge took notice of the new comer in the corner of the room. A strange man with a dark skin tone, purple hair braided into dreadlocks, and tattoo markings on his face and what was visible on his arms. The man also took notice of him, and when he spoke his voice was calm and low.
âHey Tebanem, youâve got another visitor.â
Everyone turned to look towards to who Faris was referring. When Tebanem saw Klinge, he gave him a small smile. Damn, did he have some explaining to do. The rest of his siblings and their spouses gave him room to walk towards the commander.
âHey Klinge.â
âHello Tebanem. Youâve been gone a very long time.â
âI know.â
âI havenât seen you in years, and all you can say is âI knowâ? You didnât even stick around long enough on your last two returns to say hello.â
âUm, yeah. Iâm sorry about that.â Tebanem took a deep breath. âAnd Iâm also sorry for the way I treated you the last time we talked. I was just anger and hurt.â
âThatâs ok.â
Klinge and stared at Tebanem for a while in silence after words. It made his siblings unsure of what Klinge was going to say next, and it unnerved Tebanem to no end. Klinge then relaxed his shoulders and squeezed hard around Tebanem in a hug, surprising everyone in the room.
âI missed you. Youâve been gone for so long.â
Tebanem hugged him back, patting the back of his armour, while trying to not suffocate.
âMe too. Can you put me down now?â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
Klinge was the first to let go, but still held his hands on Tebanemâs shoulders, really examining him.
âLook at you, all grown up. Even have a fine beard growing here. Iâm impressed. So according to your siblings youâre a treasure hunter eh?â
âYeah, Iâve been trying to find knowledge and artifacts around the world of different civilizations. Especially on the Gerudo.â
Klingeâs eyes shot out in amazement.
âYouâre serious, our people?!â
âYeah, yeah. Iâve even got a haul of stolen artifacts from our tribe here at the castle.â
âThatâs amazing boy! Whatâs your research like?!â
Tebanem smiled from ear to ear, taking out a research book. Ganondorf and Covarog grinned from both menâs excitement.
âYou ever see Klinge this excited before Papa?â
âMaybe when you were first born, but other than that, no.â
The two Gerudoâs chuckled as Klinge and Tebanem carried on. Klinge took a momentâs pause to look back to the new man in the corner.
âSo, Tebanem, who is this burley gentlemen?â
âOh of course, where are my manners, Klinge this is Faris.â
âFaris huh? Is he a friend, bodyguard, lover?â
Klinge took note of the body language Tebanem gave him, revealing the answers. How he started to nod at bodyguard, but the moment Klinge so causally dropped lovers, the prince was blushing redder then peaches.
Tebanem tried to have something to reply when Klinge tilted his head at his flushness. Damn him for catching off guard. He watched as Klinge made his way over to Faris.
Faris on the other hand, wasnât fully quite sure what to make of the black knight, except that he was huge. He stood slightly taller than Tebanemâs brother, Covarog, and his presence was unnerving. His aura quickly went from a possible friend to a danger just from walking from Tebanem over to him.
âSo Faris, I just need to ask, how does Tebanem make you feel?â
âI care for his wellbeing if thatâs what you are asking.â
âVery, good, straight to the point, I like that. Because I just want you to know that terrible things can happen to those who treat Tebanem poorly.â
âLike what?â
Farisâs wasnât sure where Klinge was going with this, but it felt very much like an interrogation. Immediately everyone in the room stepped forward, because they knew exactly where Klingeâs first impressions could go. Tebanem stepped between himself and Klinge.
âYou are not allowed to scare my boyfriend.â
âCome now, I just wanted to get to know him better, give him my special charm. Maybe a little sparring session?â
Cass, Corsaire, Vidar and Zarazu shook their heads.
âDonât you dare.â
âYou should stay away from the lad.â
âLetâs not.â
âPlease for the love of Voda, do not.â
Klinge rolled his eyes and gave a huff. âFine, perhaps another time.â Klinge looked deep into Farisâs eyes and spoke in soft cold whisper. Â âLike if you break his heart I will tear your spine from your body with my bare hands.â
Tebanem smacked his hand down his face. So this is what his siblings had gone on about Klinge being terrible with meeting new people. He honestly hoped he didnât scare Faris away from wanting to visit Hyrule again. âWhat did I just say?â
Faris gave a gulp but didnât break his gaze, though the warrior in front of him had a killing intent behind him. He was as cold and black as the void just staring him down. âIâd never do anything to hurt him, you have my word on that.â
Klinge leaned off him, content with the answer. âGood. Now boys and girls, there is something Iâve been meaning to give you all.â
Klinge took out the painting he had, and rolled it out flat for all to see. Everyone was blown away by what they saw. Ganondorf especially stunned.
âKlinge, is that-â
âOur old home, the Gerudo Desert.â
Covarog and Ralnor loved how the shadows were cast down, Orana and Kanisa overjoyed by the waves of orange, and Tebanam the shining sun and bright blue sky in contrast with the sand. Zolori came behind Klinge and gave him a pat on the back.
âYouâve been practicing.â
Klinge gave a nod.
âYeah, thanks for the inspiration.â
Tebanem scooped it up, in love with the art.
âAnd this is for all of us?â
âYes, I hope you enjoy it.â
âThank you Klinge.â
After the kids finished fawning over the art everyone mingled for a while. A small party had been prepared for Tebanemâs and Kanisaâs arrival. Grand amounts of food and drink had been prepared. Klinge talked with Kanisa before excusing himself to see Tebanem. The Prince was just with Farisâs, avoiding the nobles from the castle. Klingeâs presence was a nice distraction.
âKlinge, what can I do for you?â
âTebanem, I was wondering if I could talk to you privately.â
âSure.â Tebanem looked to Farisâs and gave him a peck on the check. âBe back in a moment.â
Klinge and Tebanem walked around the corner of the party, away from all the noise and people.
âSo Klinge, what is it?â
Klinge looked at Tebanem and gave a heavy sigh.
âI wanted to tell you that I am sorry I failed you.â
Tebanam took a double back.
âWhat are you taking about?â
âAll those years ago. I told you Iâd keep you safe. My sole purpose was to keep you, and your brothers and sisters protected from harm. Yet I couldnât. I broke my promise to you. I tried so hard to keep your dignity intact. You left because I failed in helping you Tebanem. IâmâŚ.Iâm a failure.â
Tebanem couldnât believe what he was hearing. Did Klinge feel this guilt the entire time he was gone? He had no idea how to respond at first.
âKlingeâŚâ
âIâm sorry Prince Tebanem.â
âHeyâ, Klinge looked up from the cheerful change in attitude from Tebanemâs voice. âWhat did I say about you calling me a Prince?â
âBut I-â
âI left for my own reasons. And you canât carry this unimaginable, unfair burden on yourself. There was nothing you could do on your own to protect me and when I was angry at you, I was at my lowest point. I was cold. If anyone should be apologizing it should be me. Iâm sorry that you felt this guilt all this time Klinge.â
Klinge took a deep breath, these words helping him expel the feelings of worry he had carried over the years.
âI just, care about you boy. I care about all of you.â
âI know Uncle Klinge.â
Klinge gave a mighty cheerful laugh, but his voice was soft and warm.
âYou havenât called me that since you were a tiny child.â
âI wouldnât if you didnât care so damn much. Kind of overwhelming.â
âYou know, it has been a while since youâve had a combat lesson. Howâs your sword arm?â
âNo, we are not going there.â
âNonsense, it will be fun. Tell you what, if you tell me about all the culture of our people youâve found, Iâll go easy on you.â
âHow about I show you the culture itself, think my last catch will intrigue you and the rest of the family immensely.â
Klinge was blooming under his helmet. The resurgence of Gerudo culture, and all because of Tebanem.
âThat sounds delightful. Tell me, if you remember your history so well, who was the only Gerudo sage in our history?â
âPfff, thatâs an easy one. Nabooru.â
Klinge gave Tebanem a light pat over the back, almost knocking the prince over.
âVery good. Glad to have you back boy.â
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The first big meme of 2017 has arrived and it's List the Top 10 Albums That Influenced You As A Teenager. This was an almost impossible selection for me, so I gave myself some additional ground rules: these albums all came out when I was an actual teenager (13-19, to be precise) and I promptly wore them out something serious. These are also albums that I continue to listen to and enjoy to this day. I also took the *complete* album into considerationâalmost all of these are total listen-throughs for me, even though there may be some other songs and singles that had more of an impact on my impressionable teenage brain.Â
 So, here's the list, how old I was when they came out, and some thoughts, in no particular order:Â
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Sleater-Kinney - One Beat (2002) I was: 17, in between high school and college This was the first SK album I ever bought, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. It was on one of those listening stations at the local music store (RIP ear-x-tacy) and the opener with its urgent drums, spindly guitars and fantastic vocals and harmonies drew me in immediately. Apparently One Beat was their "political" album and that makes sense, but the infectiously jangly "Oh!" remains one of my all-time favorite songs to this day, and though I've listened to the rest of their catalogue, One Beat remains my favorite to this day.Â
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Christina Aguilera - Stripped (2002) I was: 18, college freshman Fun fact: I was one of those angsty teens who mocked pop music while hiding my secret shame at loving every bubblegum beat and boy band dance jam. When you're a teenager, you have to keep up appearancesâI knew I wasn't one of the popular types, so I tried to be a "rock" kid and turned up my nose at what turned out to be some really great songs. My dear Ms. Aguilera changed all of that for me. I had already loved her first singles (You cannot deny "Genie in a Bottle," so don't even try) and her complete ownage of "Lady Marmalade" for the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, so when Stripped came out in all its sexual and bold yet vulnerable and honest glory, I found the soundtrack to the twilight of my teenage years. Everyone knows about "Dirrty," "Beautiful," "Can't Hold Us Down," and "Fighter," but have you heard the soft sensuality of "Lovin' Me for Me"? What about the deep piano soul of "Underappreciated"? This album is packed with both gems and jams, and remains relevant to this very day.
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Eve - Scorpion (2001) I was: 16, high school junior I came late to the rap game, since I wasnât allowed to buy CDs with parental advisory stickers until my senior year of high school, so I've made a lot of progress, but I didn't get the kind of hip-hop education most of my friends have besides what made it onto the radio at the time. This was post-Tupac/Biggie but pre-50 Cent, and the airwaves were mostly dominated by the aforementioned pop and its bad cousin pop-punk. So when Eve's basically flawless "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" featuring Gwen Stefani's damn near perfect hook and what I would learn is a quintessentially Dr. Dre beat dropped, all slinky and sexy and sassy, I was beyond obsessed. The rest of the album is on point, too: "Who's That Girl?" became an anthem for me because I could easily sing back "LEIGH's that girl!" (la la la-la, la la la-la); "Gangsta Bitch" was a sick collab with Trina and Da Brat; and "Got What You Need" is a great call-and-response banger courtesy of Swizz Beats and some other lesser Ruff Ryders rapper who is probably mad that Eve destroyed him on this track and probably in real life as well.Â
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The Kills - Keep on Your Mean Side (2003) I was: 19, college sophomore Somehow I got this CD for Christmas? I donât remember how or where I heard about it, but this album for me is the perfect combination of sexy and scuzzy with raw guitars and sparse, swampy beats and endless, unbearable chemistry between VV (Allison Mosshart) and Hotel (Jamie Hince) that continues to this day. Fifteen years, four albums, and multiple side projects (and one very high-profile marriage and divorce) later, and I am one of those fans who firmly stans for them to live happily ever after in musical harmony and continuing rock nâ roll cuteness. Theyâre just SO PERFECT TOGETHER, OKAY? Anyway, this album is great, and you should listen to it if you havenât already.
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Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2001) I was: 16, soon-to-be high school senior If I had to pick ONE album that was the most influential to me of all of these, it would be Yeah Yeah Yeahsâ seminal self-titled EP. It dropped right before my senior year of high school, when I was finally starting to figure myself out a little bit and realizing that I liked loud music by loud ladies that I could dance to and scream along to, regardless of genre or format. The Strokes, The Hives, The White Stripes, and all their ilk were kicking off a new rock revolution, but there were so few ladies out there making as much noise as I needed them to. Karen O was not a great singer, but the way she whispered and groaned and wailed over the wall of sound that Nick and Brian created with just a guitar and a drumset was revelatory to me, especially after I got to see them live a few years later, smushed up against the stage at the Southgate House and rapt as the speakers pounded in my chest and Karen sprayed beer and spit on all of us, and she leaned down at the beginning of âOur Timeâ at the end of their set, when I was exhausted and enthralled, put the mic in front my face and together we crooned âTo break on through-ooh!â YYYs continued to put out some great music and evolve their sound not-so-greatly in the following years (sorry, yâall, but Mosquito was not good), but nothing seared itself so firmly on my psyche as Karen and me covered in sweat, singing what should have been an anthem for the pre-1990 Millennials: âItâs the year to be hated / so glad that we made it.â If that doesnât sum up everything everyoneâs ever said about those of us born between 1980 and 1999, I donât know what does.
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Daft Punk - Discovery (2001) I was: 16, high school junior If thereâs another album I had to name as one of my top all-timers, completely different but still equally influential, itâs Daft Punkâs Discovery. Daft Punk allowed me to embrace my love of dance and electronic music, and built a perfect unifying force among me and my friends, providing that anthem weâd been waiting for with âOne More Time,â a song that still fills me with joy every time those first few beats fade in and I canât help but smile when it drops and that surprisingly, beautifully warm vocoder voice comes in over the spaces between. The rest of the album is literally iconic as well, and really cemented Daft Punk as the arbiters of dance parties for everyone, all-inclusive, delirious and endlessly entertaining and ultimately joyful.
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Le Tigre (1999) I was: 15, high school sophomore Iâll admit it: I missed the Riot Grrl movement by several years, so Kathleen Hanna and Le Tigre were a new experience for me. I loved the edge and the anger in her voice, the fuzzy throwback sound and sampling that made it seem like something I could do if I just tried harder and wasnât so shy and scared to raise a ruckus and my voice. One thing Iâve noticed about so many of these albums and groups is that I really liked stripped-down music with big sounds created by small groups of people: duos and trios make up the bulk of my favorite albums during this era. I got to see them live as well, when JD Sampson joined the lineup and became my introduction to confusingly, distractingly sexy nonbinary people, and it was at the height of the Bush era, in the middle of my college years, and while I didnât feel the exhilaration of singing with Karen O, I felt the freedom of dancing my ass off and screaming until my lungs my ached, unafraid of who I might bump into with my unruly booty, unafraid of who I might offend with my burgeoning baby feminism. I was sad when they stopped recording and disappointed at their recent lackluster Hillary Clinton track near the end of the election cycle, but Iâve loved the resurgence of The Julie Ruin and the ongoing reinvention and determination Hanna continues to project in the face of so much bullshittery that permeates our world and culture today.Â
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The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium (2003) I was: 19, college sophomore At the Drive-In was another band I missed out on the first time around, but The Mars Volta popped up in my circles of smartass potheads once I started to find my tiny tribe of people in the rural Kentucky college town in which I lived for four years. Iâve always loved a man unafraid to belt out an anthem, and Cedric Bixler-Zavala golden throat soared over Omar Rodruigez-Lopezâs prog-rock symphonies and movements, and it sounded just as good when I was stone cold sober as when I was self-medicating in the name of social acceptance and anxiety avoidance. I will forever associate them with giant spliffs and endless laughter, letting the discordant sounds wash over me and and Cedricâs voice burn through me, as well as making myself a zombie prom queen Halloween costume under a waxing moon after a bad breakup, working some kind of dark magic to transform myself into someone no one would recognize, even if only for a night. There was always a sadness that permeated these songs, something that got lost in their later, more esoteric albums I could never get into, and there was something on this album that made me feel okay with being sad, allowing myself to feel my feelings that I tried to keep hidden for far too long.
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Ludacris - Back for the First Time (2000) I was: 16, high school junior Again, the most rap I had ever really listened to before high school was MC Hammer and Will Smithâs squeaky clean radio-rap, so Ludaâs debut was a major eye-opener for overly-sheltered white suburban me. "What's Your Fantasy" and "Phat Rabbit" were titillating, sure, but also fantastic rhymes and beats, and "Stick 'Em Up Bitch" and "1st & 10" were darkly hilarious under their gangsta veneers. "Southern Hospitality" brought bravado to what could have just been another Neptunes beat, and throughout it all, Luda's flow was so sick and smooth, so full of wit and wordplay and unashamed sexuality, and I loved to blare it driving through my parentsâ neighborhood, even after the speakers in my car blew out and sounded like nothing but surly vibrations as I dawdled on my way home for my 11pm curfew. If I had to come in at what I considered an unfair, oppressive time, I was going to wake up everyone else in the process. Yes, I was a not-so-secret dick when I was a teenagerâwerenât we all? Side note: I'm kind of sad Shawnna never made it all that big, and this video is the absolute perfect time capsule of the year 2000.
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Peaches - The Teaches of Peaches (2000) I was: 16, high school senior Iâll also admit this: I fucking loved âelectroclash.â That amalgamation of punk and dance music was everything to me, the perfect blend of rock guitars and big beats that enmeshed everything teenage me loved about being loud and dancing like everyone was watching and not giving a fuck either way. Peaches was gross and vulgar and rapped about sex with no emotion but pleasure, and she got even dirtier as the years went on, but The Teaches of Peaches was seminal and shocking and just the kind of thing a slightly crazed and endlessly awkward, horny teenage girl needed to hear to start embracing my own weird sexuality and rampaging hormones and confused feelings, instead of keeping them locked away and shameful like I was supposed to. Everyone knows and loves "Fuck the Pain Away," thanks to its cameo appearances in Lost in Translation and the Jackass movies, but "Lovertits" was always my personal favorite from this album. The moment that breakdown takes over is pure brilliance and one of my favorite moments in any song ever. Peaches dancing in front of the mirror in this video is teenage me, always and forever, singing to myself when no one was looking and finally finding away to sing to myself in public, out loud, and not caring who heard me. I'm still working on it, but I think these albums did a lot to push me in the direction I've gone and to get me where I am now as a feminist and a lover of music and dance parties for life.
Honorable Mentions:Â
Beck - Midnite Vultures (1999)
No Doubt - Return of Saturn (2000)
Madonna - Ray of Light (1998)
The Strokes - Is This It (2001)
N.E.R.D. - In Search Of... (2001)
#personal#meme#music#top albums#throwback#Millennials#millenniold#2000s#vintage#writing#videos#top 10#sleater-kinney#one beat#oh!#christina aguilera#stripped#loving me for me#eve#gwen stefani#scorpion#let me blow ya mind#the kills#keep on your mean side#friend my little brains#yeah yeah yeahs#our time#daft punk#discovery#one more time
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Skater XL Review â Ride Like the Wind, Straining the Limits
July 28, 2020 1:00 PM EST
Shred the gnar!
It has been 10 years since Skate 3 released for Xbox 360 and PS3. While it isnât the best entry in EAâs beloved franchise (Skate 2, baby!), it was the last time we saw a major skateboarding video game release. Sure, Tony Hawkâs Pro Skater HD and Tony Hawkâs Pro Skater 5 launched in 2012 and 2015 respectively, but we donât talk about those dark times. There has been a huge hole in the video game market and it is finally being filled after those 10 long years, starting with Skater XL.
Developed by the California-based team at Easy Day Studios, Skater XL attempts to bring back the simulation style of the Skate franchise, but with its own unique take. It may not be the cleanest landing, with a few frustrating quirks, but itâs certainly a stylish and fun take on a genre Iâve personally missed.
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Skateboarding is, in many ways, a form of expression. Everyone has their own style; someone like The Nuge has a more aggressive style than someone like Daewon Song, who is more tech-focused. In Skater XL, that expression is found in its gameplay. It is arguably the most imperative facet of any skateboarding game. Easy Day Studios has crafted a pretty rad trick system that is incredibly expressive, but comes at the cost of some oddities that break the immersion I would want in a sim-style skateboarding game.
Similar to Skate, Skater XL uses the analog sticks to perform tricks. However, the majority of tricks require both sticks, each representing the skaterâs feet; the left stick is the left foot and the right stick is the right foot. In order to turn the board, the player has to use the triggers. For example, if I wanted to do a frontside flip in regular stance, I would want to first position the right foot at the tail, which is done by pulling the right stick down. To initiate the flip, I want to let go of the stick to pop the board, and then flick the left stick to the left, producing that kickflip motion. While doing that, I want to pull the left trigger so the skater does the frontside 180.
For the most part, this trick system is very fluid and fun to play around with. It really does feel like skateboarding. This is also in part due to the physics-based nature of the system. The tricks feel and look different depending on how I would flick the sticks. It also looks pretty natural in-motion. There is definitely a learning curve; when I started playing the early access version a few months ago, it took me about an hour to feel comfortable. But once it clicks, the potential for lines in any given map feels endless.
âFor the most part, this trick system is very fluid and fun to play around with. It really does feel like skateboarding.â
However, there are times when these tricks donât look all that natural. The physics-based system is a bit of a double-edged sword. Yes, I was able to produce incredibly natural-looking flips a lot of the time. But sometimes, and especially when I attempted more advanced tricks like 360 inward heelflips or nollie hardflips, the board does some very unnatural motions. Some flips will kind of just find its way to the skaterâs feet mid flip, almost like a magnet. It looks very odd, and was a bit of a damper when I was attempting a line repeatedly because a trick just looks so unnatural.
There are also times when the characterâs body would bend in ways it probably shouldnât. One of the more recurring instances of this is when I would do a boardslide and landing fakie. The skaterâs knees would bend in before the landing. While I had a good laugh at how this man just broke his knees and then re-popped them back during a trick, it definitely became frustrating when I was trying to create ârealisticâ looking clips.
However, most of those odd and unnatural occurrences never frustrated me enough to hate the trick system. Since most of the game is finding spots and attempting lines over and over again, it never felt disheartening to restart a line. It also helps that the spawn point tool is useful. If I was unhappy with a line or my skaterâs body contorted in some odd way, I was able to go back to the spawn point I placed instantly. I could also replace my spawn point on the fly if I felt like the current spot wasnât placed well.
One thing that bothered me initially with Skater XLâs gameplay was the most basic of tricks: The ollie. There were two factors that irked me about the fundamental trick when I started playing. The first, there are really only two different ollie heights; the second, the high popping ollie is comically high. It still kind of bothers me now, because ollieing up a curb will always look so ridiculous, but every level seems to be designed with these ollie heights in mind. So, it doesnât look so ridiculous all the time. Just sometimes.
Again, everything Iâve talked about, when all put together, really makes for a fun experience. The only aspect of Skater XLâs gameplay I really struggled with finding much joy in was with how it handles transition skating. This isnât a flaw exclusive to this game. Skating on ramps, particularly bowls and halfpipes, in Skate and Session are also not great. I never feel like Iâm in control of my skater when Iâm on a ramp. For example, letâs say I want to do a frontside flip on a quarter pipe. I figure if I initiate the trick at the top of the ramp, I would then go back down rather than moving forward on top of the ramp. That was not the case. There were times where I did go back down the ramp, and a lot of times I would just move forward.
âOne of the most impressive parts of Skater XL is its replay editor. I absolutely cannot stop messing around with it.â
For bigger ramps, like the halfpipe on the big ramp level, I needed to pump to get enough speed to move up the ramp. However, when I did pump, the skater went way too fast, and more often than not, ended up on top of the ramp rather than going back down it. Sometimes the stars would align, and I was able to perform some sick trick, but even then it doesnât feel as satisfying as street skating.
One of the most impressive parts of Skater XL is its replay editor. I absolutely cannot stop messing around with it. There is a bit of a learning curve, but the menu for the editor is so clean and straightforward, it really doesnât take too long to start making cool clips. It actually surprised me how easy it was to make a clip that really looked impressive. I may have a few gripes about Skater XLâs gameplay, but the incredible replay editor will be the reason why Iâll always come back and shred at places like Easy Day High School and Downtown L.A.
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Speaking of those two locations, the maps in Skater XL are all really fun to skate around. Easy Day High School and Downtown L.A. are easily the best of the eight maps available at launch. They are the largest with some iconic spots, like the Leap of Faith and Staples Center. Heck, there is a level that seems to be an accurate depiction of the West L.A. Courthouse (which you can watch Eric Koston skate on above).
The one map I lost interest in quickly was the big ramp. It is super fun to get crazy air of the wooden goliath, but as I said before, the transition skating just isnât all that fun. For what it is, it is a fun map to mess around with for a bit, but I would rather skate Easy Day High School over that any day.
There really is a lot to love about Skater XL, but it does lack a robust character creator. All in all, there are 11 different player models. This includes four males, four females, and three pro character models. Also, there are several different hair types, hats, clothing, and boards, some of which are from real-life brands like New Balance, Element, Primitive, and Independent.
Despite having all these different brands, there really wasnât much variety in the clothing or boards available. Every shirt, bottom, and hat type all fit nearly identical. For example, the unbranded jeans looked exactly like the DC branded jeans, just a different color. There arenât as many board options, either. There are enough options to make a skater with distinguishable features, just not enough to create one that is wholly unique.
âSkater XL has successfully brought back the skateboarding genreâŚâ
From its fun gameplay to its stellar replay editor, Skater XL is a great game to kick off this resurgence of the skateboarding genre in video games. Really, the only thing standing in the way of this gameâs success is whether players can get down with the lack of a progression system or campaign. Yes, there are challenges for each map, but they are really meant for newer players who want to learn the ropes or need some ideas for spots or lines to skate. From what I can tell, everything is unlocked at the start, and the âprogression systemâ is the playerâs ability to perform tricks in a manner that is satisfying, kind of like real skateboarding. Personally, I love the loop of finding a spot, committing to a trick, and performing it as clean as possible. That is enough for me. But I can see players becoming disinterested if there isnât really anything to strive for.
I mentioned this in my interview with Easy Day Studios, but I have essentially waited for a game like this to release before I even started working for DualShockers. The once elusive, but now announced Skate 4, and really the skateboarding genre as a whole, has been part of many E3 editorials Iâve written the past couple of years. It is one of the very few genres I really identify myself with. So, to see a small studio like Easy Day Studios create something that is not only reminiscent of the games that clearly influenced them, but overall improves on what its predecessors did, is heartening. Sure, it has its fair share of flaws, but none of them take away from how much fun Iâve had. Skater XL has successfully brought back the skateboarding genre, and I am eager to see how Easy Day Studios supports the game moving forward.
July 28, 2020 1:00 PM EST
from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/07/skater-xl-review-ride-like-the-wind-straining-the-limits/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=skater-xl-review-ride-like-the-wind-straining-the-limits
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