#but it is just. such a load off my adhd. i am the type that severely over budgets time and gets really stressed about planning

[brothfan1997]

god i love being unemployed. i’m just gonna say it

[double--hh]

Henry, reluctantly exploring the Astral Circle Appartment Complex, "I swear, I hear a little girl around here, sound like shes nine or something... where's her parents?!"

Quachil, manifesting itself through a wall, "Mmm, I'm 15, so shut the fuck up."

___

*~imagine phones exist in the 50s~*

Ciprianni- can you shrow the hole vid

Steven- *show *whole

Ciprianni- I'm from Italy!!!!!!!!!!

Steven- I pound dudes!!!!!

___

Teutates, writing a very strongly worded letter to Abducius, "Yo, bro, what should I start this off with?"

Ah Puch, "...to whom it may aggravate?"

Teutates, "...Shit, no, that's now the title of a song, think of something else."

___

Anastacha, walking with her friends, "If you remove all veins, arteries, and capillaries from your body and lay them end to end, you will die...or whatever."

One of her friends, "...I'm starting to see why your dad left."

___

Robertsky, walking outside in a torrential thunderstorm, "I got a pocket full of sunshine... why'd you make me ginger?!"

Insert Robertsky getting struck by lightening.

___

Nacha, sitting in Mia & W's apartment with Mia, holding some failed essays from Anastacha...

Mia, "Nacha, I'm getting pretty worried about Anastacha, like, look at what she wrote for one of her essay openers, 'Buckle your seatbelts boys and girls, Teacher or whoever is reading this at this spectacular time in your life.. da-da-da... so sit down and shut up and listen to my 3-AM-Monster-Energy-ADHD-Medicine-Induced-Self-Hatred-Fulled-Extravaganza about the Industral Revolution... or whatever.'"

Nacha, sighing and pinching her eyebrows, "Why am I not surprised... That's the last time I'm letting Francis help her with school work."

___

Mia, two seconds away from a mental break down, knocking on the Rudboys' door.

Steven answers, "Oh! Mia! What's up?"

Mia, eye twitching, "Steven, take me to the range before I pull my hair out."

Steven, nodding, "Lemme grab Ciprianni, meet me downstairs."

~20 minuets later~

Mia, unloading a full magazine at moving targets, hitting all of them.

Ciprianni, mildly concerned, "How... the hell is she doing that?!"

Steven, watching her, "Man, she was a WAC, armorer type. Kinda in her blood."

Ciprianni, shaking his head, loading his pistol, "You Americans concern me."

___

Izaack, writting frivolously in his notebook, "Mn-hm, and anything else you'd like to add?"

Mia, chuckling, "Ah, yes, list the source as... 1984 by Gorge Orwell."

Izaack, stopping mid sentence and slowly glares at Mia, frowing, "...You did not just quote another book and passed it off as facts about the Trojan Horse Project again... did you?"

Mia, taking a sip of her coffee, "What? So I'm the bad guy for reccomenting you more books to read after your 'minute and minute' fiasco earlier today, Gauss?"

Izaack, scribbling out everything except for the book title, flipping it shut, "I'll have you know, Ms. Stone, I read every damn day and our teleprompter is new!"

Mia, smiling, "Oh you're such a phony, Izaack, it's amusing."

Izaack, snapping a finger at her, "Ah! Catcher in the Rye! J.D. Salinger!"

Mia, nodding, "So you do take my recommendations!"

___

The Schmicht's, moving into the Apartment, "Oh, Gloria, I think we did just right chosing this place!"

Gloria, smiling, "Yeah, yeah, watch there be some sort of fanclub for your novels!"

Anold, placing a box down, "Heh, I doubt it! I'm still trying to find a time and place for a meet and greet!"

The Sverchzt's, Lois, Margrette, and Rafttellyn, looking up from the stair case,

"Oh my god, is that the Arnold Schmicht?!"

"You think he can give up an early copy of Ceasefire of Hostility?!"

"I have GOT to get his signature!"

"Do you think we can invite the both of them to tomorrow's meeting?! He said his wife is his muse from the last interview!"

Gloria looks out the door and watches the group of book nerds scramble down the stairs, whispering to eachother.

"Bubbles, because you live on the same floor, you better share the spoilers!"

"Oh hush I will!"

Arnold, "Who was that, sweetie?"

Gloria, "Your fanclub."

[magpiemalarkey]

Been talking a lot about writing tools and sites here because of the news about NaNoWriMo picking up a terrible sponsor! Here's some more! I'm not sure there's any one program/app/site/tool/method that has ever worked for me consistently. I'm just sort of always looking for new tools to add to my collection, I guess. Here's a couple I've used at some point and will probably return to in the future.

750 Words : Recently moved to a 2.0 version. It's geared a little bit towards people that might use this for freewriting or journaling, but I've used it during a few different nanowrimos! 750 words is the number you have to reach for it to give you "full credit" for writing that day and I found that to be a decent chunk of writing without being overwhelming. It's very private, and it has some interesting metrics which can be fun to look at and some badges for achievements, lmao, but is otherwise a very stripped back experience, which can help if you need to avoid distractions. The new website is not as clear about this as the old, but this site does run on a subscription of $5/month or $50/year. (I was grandfathered in on the old version and never had to pay the subscription. Not sure if that will carry over to the new one) You do get a 30 day free trial to try it out though!

StimuWrite: This is a sort of word-processor program you can buy on itch.io. (Well, the base program is name your own price/free and some of the add-ons are like $2. It works on windows, mac, and linux!). It is like the polar opposite of 750 Words in terms of experience. 750 is stripped back and simple. StimuWrite is designed for folks with ADHD or other people whose brains cannot focus unless there is outside stimuli! There are visual themes and background colors to mess with! There's a soundscape! Do you like cafe background noises? They have that! Want to pretend you are writing on a beach? There's ocean noises! Need noises to happen when you type? You can have Ye Olde Typewriter Noises! Or bubbles! Or scribbling noises! Not enough stimuli? You can also have streams of emojis flutter up on the sides as you type! The more you type the more they go! These can all be turned on and off and adjusted to get just the right combo. Plus there are some additional themes and add-ons you can buy. I am partial to the clacky typewriter noises and sparkle emojis. It also functions as a word counter and let's you set a word goal (and will do a big splash of emojis for you when you hit that goal if you set that option lmao) Other than that, it does not have many word program functions, but you can always copy and paste your work into a fancier program to edit and format it. (which you may want to do anyway because it doesn't really have a save or load function, just an export function)

[alfiely-art]

Finished act 4!!!!

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Act 3 reaction here

Intermission reaction here

Act 4 reaction:

“Next image” or “end game” What. What we just started ???

Ohhh I like this music tho

YAY JOHN AND HIS SWAGGY CLOTHES!!!!

This looks like an rpg lol

HI??? FROG??? SALAMANDER???? Whatever you are you're adorable

Hi adhd amphibian

These guys are great I love then

Ohhh they're salamanders

This section would be a lot more fun if I could. Play Homestuck. Curse my computer for not allowing me to read homestuck

This section is also taking a very long time to load. It is pictures you're fine phone

YAY BACK TO FUN STUFF!!! HI RENEGADE

DONT KILL WV DONT KILL WV

Did he lift thr pumpkin off wv's head. Gay

HELP don't kill him he's turned gay it's okay

Yay hi Jade!!!!

???? There IS a pumpkin there what the fuck

FUCK YEAH GLASSES PESTERING!!! LIKE HAL!!! BUT SQUARE!!!!!

Love the difference between John and Dave's reactions to Jade's dog

hi karkat!!!!!! You're being so mean… be nice to john or I'm Gonna bite you

Man I can like. Feel John's frustration karkat you're being so annoying I'm gonna bite you

Dave schizo arc … no I know he's being silly about the psychosis thing

Slur count: 9

“I love him” Dave why are you so random. Good for you though beeeee who you aaaaaare for your priiiiiide

ROSE IS IN PAN LAND!!!! They're putting chemicals in the water to turn the Rose's pan

Okay so we're going through the game thing again

???? Dave why do you want john to drink your piss,

YAYAYAYAYA THE SPRITE !!!! YOI WILL BE SO ANGSTY LATER

Well that's one way to wake Jade up

I think WV, PM, and AR could be a poly

GO JOHN WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

Hello?????

GRANDPA???????????

JOHN NO BAD CHOICE

Oh :( Rose's mom left…

Egg

Slur count: 10

Okay which troll is this. Don't be rude about Rose's mom!!!! Bad troll

Best hatefriends forever <33 who are you

“Shit the bed” KARKAT TALKS LIKE ME!!!!

I understand why i was told i am karkat-coded

Slur count: 11

Laughing at a blind girl? Not cool egbert

OHH it's that one. The. Vriskas girlfriend!!!!

Guy with cat ears <4333

Hello???

Awooga

Oh. Oh that map is. Not great

GO ROSE GO ROSE !!!!

Yo that shot looks sickkkk…

Yo rose is metal af

“TG: i command her alright i am like the pimpmaster hustledaddy of all snippy bookshrews” Dave what

Okay my font changed here. Easier to read tbh. Idk if it'll translate to tumblr but oh well

Omg… yuri?????

Help why do trolls sound so gay

Oh green troll is pretty… what's her name….

Honktraband

I KNOW THIS ONE!!! Great rap Tavros

Whatever video they linked to for “I got a present for you casey” is unavailable… rip

Trolls watch movies with modern manga titles. Will keep in mind

Terezi is so right. John is a stupidly adorable little guy

OMG PM IS A QUEEN!!! SLAY

Meow

Awww… jaspersprite kinda types like my buddy. Meow meow

John's blasting off again

Did I miss something. When did Dave get a suit. When did Cal get added to the sprite. Wha

Yo what. John and Jade died??? Terezi noooo why did you ruin their session…

Slur count: 12

FUCK YEAH DAVESPRITE!!!! THERES THE GUY!!!!! I LOVE YOU DAVESPRITE

That didn't happen the way I thought it would. I think it's sweet that Dave chose to become a sprite to protect his friends. If they don't treat him nicely I'm killing all of them

But dang… doomed timeline…

OH MY GOD CAPRAIN PLANET

Dave and Davesprite are so chill. Love them

AWWW. John remembered Dave's note….

Ohhh sick… jack is a queen(?) Now!!!! The guardian people are fighting!!! Yayyyyyy

Oh thank God Hussie will explain what's been going on

CAL IS REAL!!!!!

My reaction to Hussies's joke ._. That was. Lame

Aww. Terezi just wants to be his friend :> this better not be a trick my baby boy is so gullible

ROSE'S PLACE!!!

Dr Meowgon Spengler

John :( he's real Dave. John don't be ungrateful… honestly it's fair of Davesprite to be mad. Like John died in his timeline. He went back and chose to help the other Dave and all his friends and. Ourghh. Be nice to him

Yooo cal gets a cute little outfit !!! He's zipping around <333

HELP HE PASSED OUT

Awwww… more bunnies!!!

IS THIS SOLLUX. I've heard of this one. Eridan lover

They are jamming!!

CAL NO

Maplehoof Maplehoof

JADES GRANDPA!!!

Haha get pranked

I love the differences in how Rose and John name things

John you're So stupid why would you just stand on it

FUCK YEAH CAL IS HERE

Fuck yeah ride the pony

AR so swaggy

Okay so. I swear. These guys are the midnight crew. That is literally Deuce. I'm not crazy right. They look the same. Maybe this is their sleepy selves… godtier… do they get godtier. Hmm

FUCK YEAH JADE

NO NOT GRANDPA FUCK WAIT

Idk what just happened in that animation but yay WV

Needlewands!!!!

Omg that's such a cute outfit for Rose I love it

Welcome to the party motherfuckers

Okay I'm really excited to see what Jade’s sprite is

I don't remember Dave getting thay suit. Did he steal it from future Dave. I mean future Dave doesn't really need clothes anymore but…

Oh okay yeah it's future Dave's. but cool!! Not a bad suit at all

Beautiful sword actually

Dave you're scaring the hoes

Dave looks like the autism creature in that selfie he took

Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow

Wizard fanfic!!!!

Dave is so real here. Rose and her mom could've talked :(

DAVE THERES A GUY IN UR HOUSE

Uhhhh. Dave ded :( that's not good. Present Dave you gotta fix this

Man what if that Dave was still alive

BETTY CROCKER

Nanna!!!!

I'm gonna bet 10$ that the goo John's getting is gonna be the alpha kids

FUCK YEAH I KNEW IT!!!!

Oh there are more beta kids as well okay

They are holding hands !

karkar you can't say that. Wait that's not his name. Whatever. Karkat bad!!! Unless you're like me as I am like you. Schizophrenic I mean.

Awww.. Lil dirk loves Lil cal… that's so sweet

Babysitter au!!! John be careful with all these babies

These babies are uglJAKE PUT THE GUNS DOWN!!!!

Karkat never say daddy again thank you

J???? JAKE??? YOU KILLED HER GRANDPA

Harley… like Jade Harley…

Jack Noir…

That was the best ending of an act. Oh my fucking god. I am crying

[theladyofbloodshed]

Hi. I really admire your writng and love all your fic very much. Really,as a reader i cant wrap my head around how incredible your writing are. But as a fellow writer, it got me thinking how you balance your day working-personal life-reading-writing. I just enter corporate life and it was exhausting. How do you manage your time to write and is it hard for you to keep your interest in writing while working?

Thank youu and no, i think your chrismast deco look very beautiful. If I visit your house i would love staying around the tree with a dim light and a warm tea.

Thank you so much for the message. That's incredibly kind of you. You are welcome for a cup of tea any time!

I will break down my day under the read more.

05:40 - partner wakes up for work (waking me up) 06:10 - partner leaves for work and I get up 07:00 - in the car to work 07:30 - at work. I don't get paid until 08:30 but I literally would not be ready for the kids if I came in at that time, plus I'm already awake (and definitely a morning person). I'm usually alone in the class until around that time so I tend to have an audiobook on while I'm getting the class ready. I teach in a different classroom every single day, so I have to be organised. 16:00 - finish work 16:30 - home for a cup of tea and usually go on social media/write 18:00 - cook dinner which usually takes about an hour After that, I either spend time with my partner, read, or write. The only day I haven't written something was when I had to be at work until nearly 9pm for a halloween party, but generally, I write every single day. I will be honest in that I don't really have a social life. I've only really got one friend and she lives 60 miles away. I cancelled my gym membership because I hate going after work in winter and I've been so ill for the last couple of months that it was a waste of money. At the weekends, my partner and I might go to a coffee shop or a walk, but most of the time I am writing. It's nothing I have to force. I look forward to writing every single day. If I found it a chore, I wouldn't do it. Sometimes, I am super tired from work too and have a low output, but in those times I'll lay on the bed or take a bath with some music on and still be imagining scenarios. If you are exhausted, don't push it. If I've imagined a scene enough then I know exactly how it will play out to make the writing easier. My brain almost thinks in a writer mode now, like instead of seeing the scene, I'll also be narrating it.

I am constantly thinking about my writing. When I drive, I am imagining scenarios/dialogue. If I go for a walk alone, my headphones are on to dissociate and imagine. For me, it's all consuming. Weirdly, none of my new colleagues know I have any books and I've just mentioned it in passing to my family because we're not close and they don't really care. Even my partner has no clue about character names or anything because he hasn't read them. It's got to the point where I have RSI in my hand from typing so much. Today, I've written about 5000 words and have written 100k words for a single book since October.

It is hard for me to switch off sometimes. I do wonder if I have some sort of ADHD because I have to be doing something at all times. When I'm at work for my planning time, I'm usually doing all 8 jobs on my to do list at the same time, like this page is loading so I'll start this email then go back to that lesson plan then reply to that other person. I cannot just sit and watch tv, I either have to be sewing, or writing by hand, or typing. The only time I do nothing is when I sleep lmao. I've always been that way though.

In terms of reading, I've really struggled this year. Most books have been 2/3 star reads for me - which is really unlike me. I'm usually super generous with 5 stars. I've had to force myself to sit and read a lot because I'll just scroll on my phone otherwise when I'm bored.

I wish I had kids, but I don't, and thankfully my partner also cooks and cleans so if its his turn to cook, I can carry on writing. Sometimes it has caused arguments so I try to make a conscious effort to put my laptop down and spend quality time together. Writing is just everything to me. I love it. It's all I ever want to do. But, I'm also not a night person, so my laptop is usually off before 9pm and I'm asleep by half past 9 nearly every night ha.

[prismabird]

*Collapses* I did it. They’re home.

For those of you who are on Reddit, a Mythical Beast in the Austin area put out a message that the Mythicon Rhett and Link cowboy wooden cutouts were in the back of their warehouse, about to be cut up and thrown out, and would anyone like to rescue them? I live 45 minutes away, so I posted ‘sure, of course! How much fun would it be to get them, decorate them for Christmas, prop them up in my lawn, and confuse all my neighbors? I could shoot a Wheel of Mythicality video! I’ll put them in front of the mall, by the world’s biggest cowboy boots! I’ll leave them on top of the HEB!’

I was half kidding, half serious, 100% high. I don’t even own a truck.

The next day, they message me the address and let me know that the guy working in the warehouse knows to expect me on Monday. Uh oh. I think I’m locked in. What am I going to do? Rent a truck?

Rent a truck, apparently.

Monday morning, I call my friend Liz and ask if she wants to come with me. I’m not so sure about this because you see, I had never DRIVEN a truck before. I’m a bit of a nervous type, and… to say I’m prone to distractions would be an understatement. I’m walking ADHD with a face. I can barely focus on typing up this story because my cat is sitting two feet from me, licking his ass. If I’m going to do something new, especially something physical, I’m usually better alone because even WALKING and talking will cause me to trip over my own feet. This could end in disaster.

But she wants to come, and we head to the Home Depot. I pay, we get the keys, buy a bungie cord, and head out. First obstacle: it is raining, and foggy as hell. Second obstacle: I can’t figure out how to get the door to the truck open. It’s just – I’m turning the key, the little door lock nub pops down, but the door wont open. By this point, Liz is laughing her ass off at me, but takes pity on me and opens the door. Turns out, it was already unlocked. This is going great.

I’m in the driver’s seat. This thing feels HUGE, and I’ve never driven anything bigger than my Mazda CX5. When I back up, it beeps. It FUCKING BEEPS. I am out of my depth. It takes me 5 minutes to get out of the parking lot. I was shaking, refusing to get on the highway for the first 10 minutes. But sure enough, I get a little more confident and finally get the monstrosity out on I-35.

Eventually we make it to the warehouse, and I find a very nice man welding back there. Sure enough, he knew I was coming. “Just back the truck up the loading ramp,” he says.

JUST. BACK. THE. TRUCK. UP. THE. LOADING. RAMP.

I am barely comfortable driving this thing forward on a road. Immediately, thoughts of us tipping over the side of the concrete ramp fill my mind. But we’re too far in. It has to be done.

All the while, Liz is trying to direct me, not from outside the truck like I want, but from the passenger seat. She’s not even looking backward, like she has the fucking Force or something. I’m trying to do it my own way. She keeps yelling directions at me. I start to lose it. “STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP YELLING AT ME! I’M TRYING TO DO THIS BLIND!”

“You’re not blind, I’m guiding you.”

“IF A PERSON IS GUIDING A BLIND PERSON, THEY’RE STILL DOING IT BLIND!”

“No they’re not, they’re -”

“Shush! This is the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life!”

We do not tip over the edge of the ramp, and the nice man loads the cutouts for us. We pull off the ramp and get out to strap them down. This takes twenty minutes (mostly Liz did it, for which I am extremely grateful), and I make a new discovery – these things are SOLID. Like heavy as hell. I don’t know how that man loaded them himself, but I was impressed.

Something about the truck – its shocks suck. So every bump and dip on I-35, Rhett and Link are bouncing and SLAMMING together. Multiple jokes about Rhett and Link banging in the back of the truck ensue, but rest assured, I am terrified. I’m picturing the headlines: “Giant Wooden YouTube Cowboys Kill Family of Four on I-35.”

Finally, we get them to my house. Link is easy enough for the two of us to unload. Rhett is ... more of a challenge. It’s at this point that it occurs to me that my plan of shooting a Wheel of Mythicality video are going to hinge on whether or not I’ll ever get these guys to stay upright in my lawn. This is yet to be seen.

So thanks to my extremely capable friend, and marijuana, there are now two 10-foot tall, 100-pound wooden cutouts just chilling in my garage. I can’t say I regret it. I have the most unique Mythical merch ever. I have no fucking clue what I’ll ever do if I move, which is great because I’m planning to move in a year. Still…no regrets (mild regrets).

[antvnger]

On the 12th day of Christmas, Ant-Man ((and Ant-Mun)) gave to you:

A Christmas letter.

Dear you (yeah, you!),

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, this is for you (yeah, you).

I know it sounds super cliche, but where the heck did this year go? I feel like I was just coming up with all this kind of stuff for you last year. What a wild ride, gang. It’s been good though, and I hope it’s been as good for you as it has been for me.

This blog has grown a little bit since last year okay maybe more than a little bit, and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it so far. You guys are something else, and I love you all a ridiculous amount. I never really expected to get so much interaction when I started this whole thing, but oh my gosh, it’s been wild.

This whole tumblr-multiverse is a crazier place than the Quantum Realm, and I outta know! I mean, heck, I met Captain Hook. Me! I was the first adult Lost Boy he’d ever come across! I dunno if that’s exactly a good thing or not, but whatever, I met him. And loads others I never would have thought possible.

I’m getting off track. That was a big problem I faced while writing my book. Sometimes I just write my thoughts as they pop up in my head, and that leads to a lot of ADHD tangents and thoughts falling down the rabbit hole, and next thing I know I have no idea where I was going or where I have been. Anybody relate? Man, I wish I could send you all free copies of my book for Christmas, but this will have to do.

I’m not just writing a letter to you. At least that’s not the only thing I’m doing. Hopefully, you’ll find more in this little letter than just some words from a rambling guy. I’ll leave it to you to figure out what you could find, because what one person may receive from this may be completely different than someone else reading. 

And that’s part of the magic.

My Gigi used to say, “Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and ta-da! Everything is softer and more beautiful.” I think she said she heard that from someone else, but I’m gonna ignore that and say she came up with that all by herself. Regardless, it’s true.

Once Halloween is over (or once Thanksgiving is over if you’re like Ant-Mun), the Christmas season suddenly shows up like when you would go to sleep with no snow on the ground and wake up to a world of white. I’ve been blessed enough to have witnessed such magic a few times while growing up, and if you don’t know what that’s like, I hope you get to experience it at least once someday. It’s worth it.

But anyway, the Christmas season really does have its own brand of magic, and I am all about the magic. It spices the air and calms the atmosphere all at the same time. There’s extra love in hugs and cards and “Hey! How are you?”s, and for a little while, you can let loose a sigh and there’s some peace. The world isn’t where it needs to be, but for a short time, it feels like it comes pretty close.

I really could go on and on about Christmas and what it means to me, especially the first Christmas. I could write for days on that topic, just typing my thoughts as fast as my fingers can to try to keep up with my brain, but I don’t think I could ever do it justice. And that really isn’t the point of this letter anyway. 

Here’s the point:

Dear you (yeah, you!), you are loved.

You are special.

You are priceless.

You are essential.

You are not a mistake.

You’re not junk.

You matter.

You’re seen.

And you’re loved.

Right here, right now, as you read this, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whatever you’re thinking, however you’re feeling, whether today is a good day, a shitty day, or just another Monday, you’re loved.

At the very least, you’re loved by me; you’re loved by Ant-Mun; and you’re loved by the One who designed and created you with the greatest intention and the utmost care. There’s nothing else in the world I’m more sure of than that.

So whatever your situation today, just soak up that truth. Let it marinate and let it warm up your soul. And I really really hope with everything I’ve got that you feel that love and the truth of that love today.

And do me a favor please? Indulge in your inner child today and find some magic. I mean, c’mon, it’s me. I’m definitely gonna advocate this part too. Indulge in your inner child today and find some magic. It’s all around after all. It’s strongest today. You just gotta open your eyes to it, and you’ll find it.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, happy holidays to those who don’t,

And most importantly, lotsa lotsa lotsa love,

Scott ((and Ant-Mun))

[murdering-time]

(// true! I do get that- shipping is nice and all, especially when you get down to the character development and relationships and stuff, but what about the ones that want to do something general?? Without it being overwhelming including so many people at one time?

Also mun, you say ramble like that's a threatening promise but I promise you I would watch the absolute shit out of a video essay on jervis tetch- just can't promise it'll be in one setting, since adhd and attention span go brr)

-- ☎️

// I'm keeping this post to write the thoughts on. //

Annotated by Dictaphone

I am going to ramble about Jervis Tetch because I need to get this essay done. I'm so glad I have typed his name in so much that my phone fucking recognizes his name, great, this makes it so much easier, let me get the post up really quickly, I have it saved somewhere in my drafts but there are a lot of thoughts about Jervis that I have have and I shall - I shall voice those -- I shall voice these opinions.

hold on ok where do I want to start...

So the ask post says "mun you say ramble like that's a threatening promise but I would watch the absolute shit out of a video essay on Jervis Tetch, can't promise it will be in one sitting since ADHD and attention span that"

Still I'm going to get my WordPress up really quickly because I've written most of this already ... I don't need to login in, do I not have my phone... I don't... is it -- excuse me

No you know what - I was going to talk - I was going to talk while I get this loaded so the thing I really like about Jervis is that there's a lot.

There's a lot. There are so many qualities to him and things that I want to touch upon; his obsessive nature; the clear mental illness coding; and just I guess if he could be saved in general... so to start with would be the hyperfixations and The Obsession

I don't know how to do like enter so I'm just going to rattle it off so when was -- this is purely the Animated Series for the record and just because that's the one I'm most familiar with -- so this will likely be a ramble that I natter on and on and on about; I can make it more coherent at some point when I read it

Judge and jury; analysing Jervis tetch

a dive into the portrayal of decline within Batman

and it really is just like - that's another thing I want to touch on Alice, the Decline, and just him in general, so I basically started to say it's like -

it is a common statement among many DC fans to say that Batman does more harm than good; whether this is to Gotham, the people of it, or those who become his nemesis. the Animated Series even goes so far as to hold a mock trial for the bat himself; however this small piece won't be diverge further than the episode mentioned as "mad as a hatter"

I will reference some of the other episode but it is - it is good to keep it to "mad as a hatter" as enough. after all if we want to see if Bats really did cause Jervis' downfall then his precipice must be identified either before or during his first interaction with batman himself, and depending on that, whether or not Tetch could have been redeemed and when so.

The first introduction to our Mad Hatter is seemingly a regular rendition of a scientist exstatic over his device and having finished the project with outstanding results, already someone to sympathise with, he's achieved a goal and something clearly he's been discouraged to do if not definitely mocked for by the debunking naysayers within his community.

As "they all laughed" when he proposed the thesis, already it is clear that the man will go out of his way to achieve his goals and to gather definite results and prove to himself that he's worth something within his field and the company.

The underlying issue is, of course, self confidence...and where the desire to succeed comes from, taking note of the fact that his goal was to control creatures to act "more civilized". But even then, he goes as far as to state he could "control anything". This need for manipulation is clearly where Mr. Tetch's downfall begins.

Within 5 minutes into the 20-minute episode roughly quarter of the way through we're shown that service has the ability to be reasonable if not a mild mannered man

yeah it is clear that he suffers from some form of social anxiety as it is Made clear in his introduction.

it is apparent when talking to to Kate's he clearly has some form of hierarchical understanding of the company aware that Cates sits above him and Bruce sits above her. it is to Tetch's understanding that he must be accepted by his peers to be respected, his work done with the rats shows a clear understanding of not on neurological prowess but also a technological strength in that he has worked on his own circuitry and that he has developed his own programming and -- and Concepts for mind control

It is that we are introduced to Alice but we are also introduced through -- through subtlety and -- and background Cues that Jervis has an obsessive personality. So the episode itself is called "mad as a hatter", we are then introduced to Jervis tetch immediately after we see he in the background has an Alice in Wonderland poster.

It is never drawn upon though it is upon meeting the character Alice that we see this is where the focus of the episode will go and knowing that he is "mad as a hatter" we can only assume that this is where his downfall begins.

Prior to his downfall, it is established that Alice and him have a close relationship because she treats him as a human being; he goes on to say that she's the only one to really understand him and it is at that point that Alice says that she was lucky to have a man like him in her life alongside her partner who has not yet been introduced --introduced in a sentence in that we are made aware of the fact that she has a relationship. we are experiencing the shock alongside Jervis

Except in our case the shock is not so much we are hurt, it is more so we were led to believe that with Alice he is very very clearly smitten and very clearly socially anxious. We were to believe that either this would be that he is Hatter and she is his Alice, or that this story would be more likely his downfall over Alice.

It is interesting to note that in the original text for Alice in Wonderland she was uninvited to the tea party and that Jervis is the uninvited party in this episode... it is unusual connection to make but it is also something worth noting almost as if the to the two texts are foils to each other or rather the two medias are foils to each other; so where as the Mad Hatter was already mad in Wonderland we get to see Jervis go mad, and as Alice was uninvited in Wonderland we see Jervis as the uninvited party.

Whether the writer's intended this or not, Jervis is very clearly coded in a certain way -- he is very clearly coded to have some form of mental illness -- most like other roagues. Whether this is because of the 90s being the 90s, or because the writer's wanted them to be mentally ill and and create a tragedy from that --

See I think Edward would be the best example referring to Riddlers reform where we see him have a breakdown. it is a tragedy in a bitter sense. You can see this brilliant wonderful man who has a mind worth bragging about go down a root of his own self-fulfilling prophecy of a complete meltdown.

That's another thing for another day

So within the analysis we can see that his obsessive nature towards this presence is derived from the fact that he's obsessed with Alice in Wonderland. I do not believe that he was obsessed with Alice because of who she is I believe he was obsessed with her because she was caring to him and because her name is Alice.

It stems from the work that he's obsessed with, because it is to with something that he cares about and she has treated him kindly in an environment where he's been ostracised and socially neglected due to his mental health, and the way he acts, and his obsessive nature, and his completely ridiculous scientific reports that he divulges in. So when she treats him kindly, and the fact that her name is Alice just completes the the prime example of whatever he's looking for; kindness, sympathy, and better yet something wonderland.

Even when it's his private studies with the mice that replicates Wonderland because you can see the dormouse having tea so all throughout everything Jervis does it's motivated by Wonderland in some sense.

You see him grow from that anxious man when first meeting Bruce and then he grows agitated at Kate's -- I believe I need to refresh myself with the episode so I usually know it fairly well -- I usually know it word for word --

So he grows agitated upon hearing that Alice has a partner because he -- he already thinks that he deserves her because he sees himself too consciously as the Hatter -- he thinks that Alice is part of his world, not part of Billy's world, not that he knows who Billy is right now.

So it's at that point already that I truly think he is beyond saving. The fact that he or rather -- you know that's where we see the downfall truly start -- I don't think batman had anything to do with it, but I do think that Jervis not getting the help he required made or not even being able to recognise that he ostracize himself and isolates himself to a point of obsessive Madness, I think the fact that wasn't brought up is definitely not great. I think at that point, this is -- we were -- we see the start of the downfall as the rest of the episode plays out but it's definitely that Turning Point where he sees himself entitled to Alice.

Through the anger of her already having a partner that he basically Dons the Hatter Namesake.

I think through his obsession and through his isolation he -- he has his downfall and it's a lot of the rogues that do this to themselves almost in the sense that they are truly helpless to the way that their minds think.

Which makes sense because a lot of them are coded to be mentally ill I think the only person so far that I've gotten up to --I've gotten up Clock King -- no that's not true I've got a past that, I've gotten up to fear of Victory -- but through -- through watching the episodes the only person I have no remorse for in the animated series is the first iteration of crane because the first iteration of Crane was merciless -- he was merciless and it was painful to watch How Little remorse he had and -- and his motivation was spite so I-- I can't empathize with the animated Crane at all nothing -- I can't -- I cannot emphasise with the "nothing to fear" crane at all -- but it's interesting to compare them all against each other.

Scientists you can compare-- each scientist against each other especially scientists with an obsessive drive.

We completely and directly compare and contrast Jervis and Kirk, both the scientist with an obsessive drive, both the scientists who go out of their way to understand their obsession, and -- and both have research fuelled by obsession. Kirk has his bats Jervis is Wonderland.

So you have on one hand Kirk langstrom who is literally sacrificing his body and himself to his work, and on the other hand you have Mad Hatter who's sacrificing the people around him and it is interesting to note that Kirk is socialised and has a wife where as Jervis is completely isolated on his own.

It almost begs to-- to say that the people around you help you become who you are or at least in rogue senses... so Kirk you know his wife helps him in the end if I remember correctly and Jervis just doesn't because Kirk has that support but Jervis does not have that support at all so he becomes Maddened

It's more of a tragedy because you see it have an effect on him and those around him. Jervis has no support system at all and it's just-- it's just that notion of -- you know -- if you are supported you will still you know -- you -- you are still susceptible to Villainy but there is a way to help because instead of going to Arkham I believe Kirk is given a cure so there's this Direct comparison between the two of them; both scientists, both to have romantic interests, both have an obsessive personality, one of them is cured the other's sent to Arkham. I don't see Jervis not going to Arkham but I do pity him I do pity him a lot

With his relationship, to how he sees himself, there is clearly a lot of -- a lot of similarities between how he sees himself and how he sees the Hatter.

For example, he talks to his mice which then they have tea as like in the book, and he -- he has found people outcast him for being eccentric so he truly believes that because he is outcast he is mad or at least is made to be mad.

Additionally with how he is physically and with the way they designed him he looks very similar to the original Hatter it makes him even more singled out, so when he is isolated and he's working on his neurotech and he's obsessed with the book etc etc it is -- it is like he is projecting and to an extreme extent as well where in the book The hatter and Alice are amicable together -- it is completely different in the animated series

This is in contrast to Cates is specifically important because we are following Tetch's narrative. We as the audience villainize Kate's alongside Jervis Tetch that we only see her as a very blunt and forward woman and the way that she treats Tetch seems unfair. That we have only known him for a couple of seconds to be positive immediately the narrative is already biased because we don't know the context of what Cates is like. because she has every right to be angered and concerned and we can only assume that this is at the end -- or this is the at the end of something that has been building and building for a while.

And so with that in mind, we have to understand that where Cates is very career-orientated, she clearly cares for Alice to some degree. You can see her comfort her when she's left by Billy, she clearly doesn't emphasise but she has a lot of sympathy. Knowing this we can somewhat established that Cates is looking out for Alice and the fact that she has a distaste of Tetch proves that this is to some extent -- if not a lot of extent -- nefarious.

We also don't know how old he is. We know that Alice looks incredibly young and already there with that like seemingly large age-gap it's even worse.

I truly believe that Alice is too nice for her and good. When Jervis takes her out to Wonderland -- which is another thing and itself you can analyse -- that in itself she says that he's a silly little man so you already get painted -- you already get painted -- you already get painted this picture of -- of like naivety almost -- but like -- kind naivety so she definitely -- I don't know -- she was susceptible to -- to -- to -- no, not manipulation necessarily -- but definitely some form of mind fuckery...

I mean it's Tetch, you know you don't get Jervis without mind fucking but like I don't know -- I think the fact that Alice is the way that she is and she's supposed to be that -- if she's clearly looking at the good and everyone...

It is is any old Alice for Jervis but this Alice because of the way that she is and that -- it just makes it even worse because she's in more danger towards Jervis which I truly believe was what Cates was on the lookout for.

BASICALLy in conclusion, no Batman didnt make Tetch, he was simply a catalyst and Jervis was already the Hatter the moment we met him. He just chose to don the namesake after growing posessive of Alice to an obsessive degree.

[greyrain23]

Aha, huge rant cause I'm tired and done with everything

My mom always says she doesn't pick favorites but I get screamed at when the $25 I owe her for some groceries doesn't go through right away while my brother - making $8 an hour, 2 hours per day when his rent is $500/month - is $2,750 in debt, and she let's him continue that job. He's been fired from 6 jobs already cause he just doesn't show up when he doesn't want to work.

I quit my job with no backup plan for 2 months because I was being harassed, I made sure I still had enough to pay what I owe her a month and she was still on my ass about getting a job. I applied to every place around me until I got my current job, my brother spends all day and night on his xbox, doesn't help around the house, and treats my mom like he's in charge or some shit and she's fine with it?? If I do one thing wrong in the house, I'm being yelled at again.

Growing up I was the one taking care of both my younger sisters and my older brother because I'm the most self sufficient of my siblings. I realized I'm a 'glass child' because I'm the only kid without autism, so I don't need to extra help with a lot of things, I don't need the attention because I can do it on my own. I was, and still am only called on when my parents need something from me, like making sure the others do some house work if my mom is gone (dad is a truck driver, so he's hardly home, maybe once a month if we're lucky.)

The only "problem" I have is adhd, it's not super bad, but one of the main things I realize I do is when I find something I like, it becomes a hyperfixation until something new comes up again, after reading more about adhd, I learned that it's a common thing, but every time I fixate on something, my family makes fun of me. Sometimes I'm like, it shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it honestly hurts my feelings, because then they start making fun of the things that I like, and as much as I hate this, I'm the type of person to leave behind something I like if people around me thinks it's weird or stupid.. so there are a lot of things that I've dropped because they made fun of it for being a fixation of mine for a little while.

It's a stupid thing to get upset over, but my entire life, I've been sharing my things, my room my toys, my phone, my books, even for my birthday party, my mom made me invite my sister's friend over instead of my own because she "didn't want her to be left out".

And when I finally have something to myself, I try to hide it. It's stupid, but it lets me actually have something to myself, something that I can talk to others about without the rest of my family acting like they found it first or saying stuff like 'it wasn't that good, you shouldn't be that excited over it".

There's times when I can hear my siblings talking about me in the other room, and the one time I dressed how I want to dress instead of what they think I should wear, they're talking about how 'I dress so much older than I am' and 'obviously she was gonna have a pedo after her when she was 17, she dressed like that'

Like.. does that mean they think I'm dressing slutty or something..? I haven't really worn what I want to wear since then, but I have an outfit I want to wear to a concert I'm going to later this year but my mom doesn't trust me alone in Chicago, so she's coming with and I don't know if I should wear it or not.

My family is the type to conplain about attention seekers, my mom is the same, but she's also the 'if something happens, tell me so I can help' but it's been a long time since my ex sa'ed me that I don't know if she'd take it as asking for attention or if she's take it seriously. But I'm too much of a coward to find out..

But to finish this insanity off, my sister got a $1400 laptop for her 15th birthday, while I got a singular manga book and a sweater for my 18th. I want my biggest life problem to be that my laptop is loading too slowly.. I want my biggest life problem to be that I can't find the button to connect my $350 bluetooth headphones I(my sister) got for Christmas.

[twippyegg]

Life became different. (finally)

Holy shit. I can't even believe I am typing this out right now.. Life became different. I have been jobless for 4 months now. I lost my job due to the company moving back to site. ( i couldnt drive the hour and 15 mins to and from work every single day.) I will never forgive my job for how dirty they played me. With me losing 16 hours of Overtime, to getting promoted to only loosing that promotion the same week once again at no fault of my own, I felt played. I always tried super hard to be a good role model and a great employee but they didn't care. I was never in trouble, I never had write ups, my work ethic was the standard for my old supervisor and would compare my work to people who were slacking off. (basically using my work load as a guideline for how many emails I did in a day/hour.) I really tried to stay man.

Fast forward to February 1st, 2023. I got the call my drug test was completed and I was good to go to start my new job :). I was crying the entire day because it truly felt like war was over. Things are going to get better again. I feel like these past 3 years has truly shown how hard and amazing life is. It feels like I have really good moments in life and other times I have bad moments. Everything seems temporary in my head. Like I cannot believe I am going to start work on Monday.. It's everything I wanted. I spent hours upon hours trying to find something within my range of comfortability but it was just so hard. So many questions about my personality, how I would handle certain situations which is fine. But when you have Autism and ADHD it can be quite difficult and what you think and know maybe a good answer may seem rubbish and foolish to the employer.

Moving forward, I am excited to announce I am going to be streaming in February as well! I will need to work out my final details but I am hoping that soon enough, I can pick up this hobby, work my job, and just be content with life for the first time in a while. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I appreciate any kind words and I will be back later :D

[bandofchimeras]

longpost about learning disability

woke up in a good mood today! but getting on tumblr always sets off this thing in my brain that's like, sadness about my brain. learning disabilities, ADHD, PDA & memory loss.

my autism HATES not really knowing/being able to recall Deep Knowledge about special interests or not having made fanart or fancams or memes or memorized facts like - I loooovveed LotR growing up. had all the Histories of Middle Earth, Simarillion, map books, etc. but I don't remember any of the Quenya words I tried to learn. couldn't read the Histories of Middle Earth bc the type was Bad for dyslexia, and maps look like a headache bc of dyscalculia. even for my biggest obsessions I feel like a Fake Fan. the only stuff I make or do comes straight from Within Myself and it has to be spontaneous, from a dream or a vision. I've tried making fanart before and the process of having to research the costumes or study an actor to make the character look like them hurts my brain too hard to continue, so they end up half finished. sometimes I can finish stuff! but it literally takes YEARS of leaving it and coming back around bc my brain is so Spread Out and avoidant. i've gotten thru so much of my life pretending to understand what's going on, masking and this has only worsened post covid. my biggest hope in life is that doing somatic experiencing therapy and being able to Be Present in My Body can help reduce some of the load on my brain and distractibility, maybe shift towards being able to Actually Learn and Recall Anything. also if i can get accomodations and go at my own glacial, distracted pace, find a really patient teacher, that could help. having a Body of Knowledge one can recall and rely on and explore seems so comforting. like ah yes, the herbal plants of the Upper Northwest, my old friends, whose names and fucntions I DO remember well....I can rest here...... or like, knowing a new language. the doors that would open up. i have forgotten so many years of different language classes, guitar lessons. Its really isolating. i don't even get "into" bands just experience the music in the moment. and feel like i belong nowhere, knowing just bits and pieces of whatever happened to stick. dance is my favorite type of Body of Knowledge bc the movements get literally encoded in your, what is it, cerebral cortex? muscle memory. you can't forget the actual moves bc your BODY remembers after enough repetition maybe I will have to find a way to make all knowledge encode into my body/movements. maybe there is a different kind of intelligence in me that can be trusted. but i mostly want to Know stuff to be like, ah yes this is me i know who i am and where i belong and can bond with other humans securely. like if u go to school and become anthropologist u get to Be that and go places to Study under people and be part of the Community of Anthropologists. amazing, incredible!

[squirrel-the-adhd-mom]

Chapter Ten- Wtf?

10/05/2022

I didn’t sleep great. Decent but not great. My body is worn out. Last night I was doing this screwed up type of sleeping that I call “sleep thinking.” Basically my body is sleeping my eyes are closed but my brain says fuck you, Mikayla, you have to much to think about. Then, Logan’s alarm goes off. Of course he doesn’t hear it right away and snoozes it a few minutes after it starts. Poor guy has the man flu. Sorry guys but men are pansies. They get a head cold or a stuffy nose and the world starts ending. Buddy not to be an ass hole which I think we’ve all declared I am, but go ahead and push a baby out or have your body sliced half way open while your awake might I add to bring a baby into the world. Then be expected to get up and do all your normal duties as if a stork just dropped the little crotch goblin off in a sheet on your front porch. Men seriously have zero idea what women put them selves through. Sorry not sorry. Anyways then, CJ (Clayleigh James) wakes up. Eh it must’ve been about 3am. Just for the record she normally doesn’t but sleep regression around the age of one is a real and incredibly frustrating thing. So I wake up make her bottle and get her back to sleep. Lay down and I’m thinking to myself “just go to sleep, count the sheep.” Damn it, brain interferes, “haha nice try, Mikayla, I’ve got things for you to consider.” Stupid things like: what chore am I going to accomplish in the morning? Do I shampoo and conditioner my hair in the shower? Don’t forget to put a load in the washer! Oh if you remember maybe unload the dishwasher. Shit, don’t forget to palate Cruë. Oh and ask Brandi to give Ryann a bath because your a shit for brains mom and forgot. Yeah, yeah, fuck you too ADHD brain. Next time just let me sleep. I function better when I SLEEP!

You know. Well you probably don’t but maybe you do. That people with ADHD more times than not actually have incredibly high IQs. Theo is incredibly intelligent. He catches on to things quickly. Included but not limited to getting out of things he doesn’t want to do. For example: writing. It something he struggles with which is also very common with kids with ADHD. So instead of trying to just misbehaves so he gets sent out of the classroom to go see his behavioral teacher. Face palm. I am so incredibly blessed with a strong willed, intelligent human. Accept I wish he would save all these great qualities for when he moves out of my house.

Discouragement. To some this means something brings you down for a little bit but you get up and try again. For me this means if something isn’t going as well as I thought it might I want to shut down the idea all together because I feel like a failure. This blog for example I thought I’d get more feed back on. My instant reaction and impulsive mind says to forget it no body cares and I should just shut up no body wants to listen to my sob story. My realistic brain says don’t give up. So I am trying really hard not to. Discouragement makes me my own worse enemy. Which leads me to instant gratification.

Instant gratification. When something happens and immediately makes you feel good inside. Which makes the impulsive instinct VERY easy to jump on. Impulsive behavior is not only an ADHD trait but a lot of people struggle with it. Trust me when I say just because your impulsive doesn’t mean you have ADHD, and just because you have ADHD doesn’t mean you are impulsive, but if you have ADHD there is a good chance you are impulsive. I am ADHD with the impulsive trait and the easily discouraged trait along with a lot of the other fantastic traits that come with ADHD. Congratulations, Mikayla, you might as well send yourself to the nut house.

Theo put him self tonight. Didn’t even fight going to his room. It doesn’t happen often but when it does it’s safe to say that he is tired and his brain gave him a run for his money. These moments all though few and far between I like to refer to as the ADHD crash. It’s when your brain just goes, goes, goes until it just can’t anymore. It’s the ultimate exhaustion. Similar to an adrenaline rush come down but possibly worse. Every being of your body just quits. I got home early but I didn’t get shit done for the same reason. The difference is I can’t just go put myself to bed because, well I’m “mom.”

[maramahan]

I sometimes forget that my brain NEEDS to be distracted in order to function well

I say this because the most productive writing time I’ve had so far today involved typing my novel with one hand and playing Among Us with the other

This Is Fine

[rowkey]

-peeks in-

...hi, folks-of-Tumblr!  It’s been a minute.  I’ve been doing loads better on the brain end of things lately, so I’ll try to give this place a good dusting off and get things up to speed over the next few weeks. Art highlights as of late, which I’ll upload over time:

Created some interior artwork for the game Wanderhome by Possum Creek Games.  This one was all me, and this one was a collaboration between guldentusks and I. :D

“Bundle”, good ol’ mouse art, and probably my favorite thing I’ve created in the last few years.

This off-the-cuff pokemon fanart from last week went legitimately viral, which was an experience.

Life gobbledygook under the cut below, if that’s of interest.

Thanks, as always! - Jo / Rowkey

It looks like my last post was in May 2020, when I’d been living in Kansas.  Covid lockdowns had begun, and art shows abruptly stopped; I found work at big box retail for a number of months. 

I started going by the name Jo more often, and quietly using they/their pronouns in more spaces; it’s been nice.

A very recent development: an official ADHD diagnosis at age 30, and first attempts at medication to help with it.  Ups and downs abound with this sort of thing, as expected, but hey...here I am, typing up a post for you all.  Incredible.

About six months ago I relocated to live with my partners of a few years. :)  I’m an honorary Yooper these days, weathering my first winter with 125+ inches of snowfall, and they’re telling me this is a light year!  Definitely an experience, and I’m so, so looking forward to spring so I can explore with a clearer head screwed on.

Last september I sold art at my first ever general audience (as in, not-a-furry-or-fantasy-convention, I s’pose) event, and it went swimmingly.  MFF in Chicago shortly after was also a huge success.  As ever, my art points in a thousand directions at once...but god people are kind, supportive, and enthusiastic, and it means so much that I can make a small living trying to do whatever it is I’m doing.  

I’m leaving out the garbage that happened to occur during all of this; things are never all roses. Just seriously hoping that I can use this newfound mental clarity to reconnect with others (and myself, honestly), focus...not be afraid again.  It’s been a wacky couple of years; thank you for sticking with me. 💚

[classifiedinterests]

making the supernatural fandom more accessible

hey fellow spn fans!! what if we all teamed up to make the spn tumblr experience more accessible?

it sucks that some of the best posts this fandom churns out are completely unreadable to bloggers who use screen readers (or heck, even to people whose wifi sucks so that images never load).

take the amazing scripts that we’re currently so pumped about -- imagine you use a screen reader (if you don’t), and you hear fellow fans going completely feral over content you can’t access. you want to be in on the hype! but you have zero clue why everyone’s screaming about windmills or whatever, because the scripts getting shared are un-captioned screenshots.

...and then there are posts that are just. walls of text! which is really difficult for certain neurodivergent folks to read, such as those with adhd. being aware of that when making original posts (or comments) and adding more paragraph breaks -- and possibly even spicing up the text by bolding important parts, etc. -- is an easy fix for that!

so. here’s my proposal: each one of us commits to whatever level of effort is possible for us (given each person’s unique time, energy, abilities, etc.) in the joint effort to improve accessibility.

Level 1: the ID hunter.

when you go to reblog any spn post that includes images (whether that’s gifs, screenshots, fanart, etc.), check in the notes to see if someone else has added an image description already!

if they have, reblog from them so that the image description spreads further.

"BUT what if someone added the image description before certain commentary was added to the post, and i wanna reblog the post with those extra comments?”

Well, i can’t speak for everyone who creates image descriptions, but i for one don’t care if someone copies & pastes my ID so that they can add it to their own reblog. i don’t care that my blog’s no longer connected to the image description i wrote -- so long as the ID is spread, i’m happy!

Level 2: the copy-paste monster.

when you love another fan’s tags enough to add them to the post -- do so by copy & pasting them, not by screenshotting them!

for your own posts or comments: if you’re sharing, say, a quote from an article or a fanfic or a tweet, do so by copy & pasting the quote instead of taking a screenshot.

if someone else has already shared a screenshot from an article, fanfic, or tweet, and you have a link to the original, do the extra legwork to go to the source, copy and paste, and make an ID.

Level 3: the fandom angel.

If you have the ability, time, and energy to type out image descriptions for spn posts that don’t yet have one, please do it!

If even just a few of us commit to creating even just one ID per day each, that will add up!

And, of course, if you’re making your own post, give it an ID right there in the original posting, if you’re able! I understand that not everyone has the spoons (/time/energy/ability) to do this, and that’s okay. But those who can, please do!

Tumblr now allows you to put alt text on images, so you can do it that way or the old-fashioned way of just including your image description in the text of the post.

Not sure how to write an image description? This post offers some truly comprehensive advice on how to write IDs for various types of content, from photos to fanart to charts to screenshots of text.

By the way, I’ve seen folks ask that you don’t put the ID under a readmore. Keep it easy to access!

Nervous that you’re not gonna write an ID right? First off, practice makes perfect -- you’ll improve with time. I’m pretty sure that an imperfect or incomplete ID is better than no ID at all -- hopefully someone else will come along to reblog with any necessary corrections to whatever ID you write!

Level 4: the man of letters (gn).

You’re going above and beyond what this post advises -- you’re also out there coming up with and implementing other ways to improve accessibility!

Maybe you’re a blogger who uses a screen reader yourself, with more you want to add to this post from your own experience.

Maybe you’ll choose to seek out bloggers who use screen readers themselves -- or who have other accessibility needs -- so you can learn straight from them what their needs are.

Maybe it’s something else! I don’t know, but I do know this post is incomplete -- so please, share your ideas for other ways we can all work together to improve our fandom.

None of us has to do everything, but most of us can do something. If enough of us take even just small steps, we can create a more accessible fandom. Who’s with me?

If you’re in, please reblog this post so word can spread!

(I’m closing this by tagging some bloggers whom i’m hoping might be interested in helping me spread this around, because i am Not A Big Name in this fandom and can’t do it by myself! Let me know if you want me to un-tag you.)

@sunforgrace​ @castiellesbian​ @plantdadcas​ @jenderstudies​ @youchangedmedean​ @meadowdean​ @winchestersingerautorepair​ @phoebenatural​ @steveyockey​ @bedlund @seraphcastiel​ @marcusantonius @marynatural​ @redwing​ @t4tdeanwinchester​ @spn-brainrot​ @lobotomycas​ @samdyke​ @deanwinchesterforbatman2k21 @themanwhowouldbefruit @4x01​ @thatisahotsoup

[oneshortdamnfuse]

long post cw / self-diagnosis and misconceptions of intrusive thoughts and maladaptive daydreaming

So, I noticed that a lot of people on social media have been assigning a wide range of behaviors and attitudes to mental illness. As a result, a lot of people have been self-diagnosing, especially as ADHD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Now, I am a person who truly believes that most people deviate from ‘normal’ when it comes to mental health. I don’t personally take issue with self diagnosis either. I grew up in a family of mentally ill parents who stigmatized my own mental health problems, refusing to get me help or a diagnosis. However, there is a boat load of misinformation about specific symptoms that I keep seeing pop up. There’s a trend towards pathologizing things that really don’t need to be indicative of mental illness.

Two things I experience that are heavily misunderstood are intrusive thoughts and maladaptive daydreaming. I keep seeing vague explanations of both with the consequence being that people are suddenly worried they are severely mentally ill for having any kind of bad thought or daydreaming at all. So, I think it’s really critical to talk about what these look like as someone who has lived with both their entire life. Note, I am not a mental health professional but neither are many people making pop psychology posts and videos on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, and yes - Tumblr. At some point we need to recognize that while it can be difficult or even unnecessary to separate one’s own mental illness from everything they do that doesn’t mean we should be living, breathing diagnostic criteria for others.

Intrusive thoughts are not just negative thoughts you have about yourself, nor are they just rational worries amplified. You can experience those kinds of thoughts and still be mentally ill, sure. However, it is common for people to think negative things about themselves like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m going to fail.” Those statements might not be true, but they usually arise in stressful or challenging situations. That is not my experience with intrusive thoughts, at all. I experience excessive worrying and a negative mindset, sure, but my intrusive thoughts are quite... scary, disturbing, and distressing. Thinking bad things about yourself and/or other people is unpleasant and it can make you feel bad. Intrusive thoughts are more intense, as well as more random and illogical than that.

I am not suicidal, but growing up I had intrusive thoughts about cutting off my fingers, hand, arm, etc. whenever I walked by knives. So, I made sure to avoid knives. In gory detail, I had intrusive thoughts about jumping over railings to my death. So, I avoided railings. I had a lot of intrusive thoughts with blasphemous imagery, sexual imagery, and violent imagery that my brain would churn out against my will. It got so bad my overly religious mother believed I was possessed and / or being talked to by ‘demons.’ I don’t want to confuse anyone. This is not the same as having ‘voices in your head,’ but it does involve feeling like random, disturbing thoughts are being inserted into your brain against your will. To this day, I avoid content that will trigger these kinds of thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are very hard to talk about, and they come with a lot of fear and shame. We may be perceived as evil, possessed, or violent based on the content of our thoughts but it’s important to know that what makes them intrusive is that they’re unwanted; they’re not a true reflection of one’s desires. Pretty much anyone can have a random, disturbing thought from time to time - common one involves people suddenly thinking about crashing their car while they’re driving. However, the frequency of them and the way you cope with them could indicate mental illness. A lot of people who have OCD have intrusive thoughts, but this is a particular type of OCD. I am obsessive compulsive, for context, but I don’t say I have OCD because I don’t actually have a diagnosis due to stigma.

Maladaptive daydreaming is a relatively new term, but it essentially relates to dissociation. I have talked about it before, so you can check out my #maladaptive daydreaming tag. There has been some research on it with a suggested diagnostic criteria for MADD (maladaptive daydreaming disorder). However, a lot of people took the idea and ran with it to pathologize really innocuous behaviors including but not limited to 1) enjoying books and 2) having an imagination. This completely ignores the ‘maladaptive’ part. First of all, dissociation is very common. In fact, it’s normal. Daydreaming is a common, even healthy form of dissociation that can relieve stress and anxiety. Enjoying books is a very common, healthy activity as well. If it’s not maladaptive, there’s nothing wrong with it!

Maladaptive daydreaming often develops out of trauma as a way to cope with situations we cannot physically escape from. Mine developed from living in an emotionally abusive, sometimes physically violent household with alcoholic parents. Maladaptive daydreaming can involve losing hours of time, imagining one’s self in a different place or fixating on a particular daydream so much you lose touch with reality, losing real connections or relationships in the process. The content of these daydreams can be intense, even distressing but in a ‘controlled’ way. They can repeat until you get it right, like an obsessive compulsive habit. They can also be addictive, where one may rather ‘live’ in their daydreams than in the real world. I talk about what this looks like for me in my other posts.

If you’re an avid reader, you could be a maladaptive daydreamer. You could also just be a fan of stories, have a healthy imagination, and/or you’re easily bored without something to read. If it’s not maladaptive, it’s not necessarily a problem and you don’t need to pathologize it. For me personally, I hate reading in part because I am a maladaptive daydreamer and I have intrusive thoughts. I can’t concentrate on what I read without interference from one or the other, making reading a highly stressful experience. I’m not making this post to devalue anyone else’s experience or question the validity of anyone else’s mental health concerns. Rather, I want to illuminate what this looks like for me and for people to question oversimplified representations of intrusive thoughts and maladaptive daydreaming they see online.