#but it gave me a valid excuse to tell this guy i already have some problems being around that i didn't want him to show up.

[britneyshakespeare]

i am like. unreasonably mad right now.

[backinmyphase]

Just a heart broke bitch!

Synopsis. Only 24 hours passed since your ex ended it. So why did you find yourself in a club waiting for someone to fuck? Someone like Satoru Gojo?

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, college! Gojo, Satoru is down bad and reader doesn't know, overstím, (not mentioned but reader is on the pill), nipple sucking

Word count. 2.2k

A/N. I have never written smut before, so this is more like an experiment hehe

"Shouldn't we at, fuck! hah~ l-least have a first date?"

Gojo had that smug smile on his face as his eyes looked down at your body, inspecting the sweat that was shining from your naked chest. Behind his smugness you could see his back tense up. Just as sweaty as yours. His hair disheveled, standing up in all directions.

"S-shut u-AAAAAAh-" you gasped and couldn't keep the moan in as he made you shudder with his-

"Up."

A little context to this situation you found yourself in. You were in a shit position. A couple of hours before you sat at the table of a cafe trying to grasp what was happening right there.

"What?"

"We should break up." your, well now ex-boyfriend didn't have any readable expression on his face. "I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean with this?" your body stiffened, no seeable reaction shown.

"I heard about how you acted in high school. About your little adventures with your friends." his look was different from before. It was filled with- "I don't want a girlfriend which is a slut. Who sucked off more men than she kissed."

Your hand gripped your glass of coffee harder. "Excuse me?"

He shook his head. "You know what I am talking about. Let's just end and forget about this relationship. It was never that good anyway."

And like that he got up and walked away.

And you really wished you got up and gave him a piece of your mind. Tell him how it really was at these parties which you were back then to young to go to. And how the guys you met there knew that. How they used that.

Tell him what kind of entitled asshole he was, to shame you for your old ways of seeking validation.

Back then you were only seventeen. And they were at least twenty one. But you were the filthy slut, who was to wild and surely not loyal enough to be in a relationship, right?

You hated how even now you just swallowed your emotions, your tears and your feeling of self worth.

Because you shouldn't be crying about such an asshole, right? Your friends, well they called themselves that, said not to sulk just search for a new one in the club. They probably told him all about your old stories. Like always when things were going good for you.

They were the only people you had, who stuck by your side. So was it really your fault that you took out your black dress, with your six inch heels?

Yes.

Because even though you wanted to deny it, you liked this boy you had dated. He was your first real relationship, shouldn't that mean something?

But it was never that good anyway, right?

While sitting and sipping champagne in this nightclub, you could already feel your common sense slipping away.

Stupid like back then, because you should know that your friends wouldn't bring you back to your home. Isn't that how you ended up in all these beds? Them doing drugs outside while you were drinking with a guy who will bring you with him, no matter what you really wanted.

You shouldn't trust those people.

It was always just drunk calls, drunk texts, drunk tears, drunk sex.

And those days were behind you. Right?

You wish you could say that. But then you wouldn't be sitting here, dressed up to forget what was really going through your mind right now. No, they weren't behind you and maybe your ex was right.

You stopped smoking along time ago. You stopped following these things that told you you were only something with them. But today was different.

You took some cigarettes that were given to you from some dude with a devious smile. Not your best move. But right now anything was better than you alone in your head.

"This seat free?"

And then there was this guy like your fate was laughing at you. This guy who had this gorgeous white hair and kind of boyish smile. Like a perfect opportunity to forget tonight.

"Yeah, no worries." you were kind of surprised at the sound of your own voice. It was raspier than usual. Like the smoke already made it's mark.

His tall frame lowered onto the seat next to you, his body facing your direction, instead of the bar. He already had this curious look. "So what brings you here alone?"

You shrugged and gave the bartender a sign as you finished your champagne. "Two more wines, please."

The bartender just nodded and fetched you your first one.

"Woah, slow down." The white haired mans expression changed. "That bad down to get wasted?"

"Yeah, well wouldn't be in a Club if not, or would I?" you looked up at his face, and now was your turn to check him out. Other than the fact that he was tall and he was insanely pretty. That was no problem, in fact it helped. But his almost concerned expression wasn't.

"I guess." He tilted his head a bit. "What's your name?"

Maybe it was the alcohol but for some stupid reason you just told him your name. And he leaned forward and whispered.

"I'm Gojo Satoru."

That wasn't ideal. While you didn't really care about your college people, he had quite a name in your college. But any critical thinking was thrown out of the window since your second shot in the last hour.

Amd as you looked at those eyes that had the for you known look in them you whispered back.

"You want to fuck?"

Yeah, your thinking really did leave an hour ago. Because you swore that you would never be in these surroundings and would never ask such a question a stranger again. But like back then you just wanted to forget.

You didn't remember what came next and how you did end up in this small apartment. All you did know that you were impatient at Gojo because he took too long to get on the bed and fuck you.

Why were there two glasses of wine on this table next to him? Were you talking to him? You couldn't remember.

You just knew that you needed something to keep these thoughts away.

"God, you are driving me crazy." he was on top of you, his hands were everywhere, touching you, heating up your body.

"So beautiful for what?" he mumbled, his naked body (wait when did he get naked? When did you get naked? Oh what does it matter...) was pressed against yours as he kissed your lips.

"I need you now." your arms now around him pressing him closer to your, trying to get your aching pulse down there closer to his.

He laughed and laid his head back. "You are acting like a dick you know that?"

"Well you might as well stick it in."

And that's how you ended up under Satoru Gojo as he bullied his far too big cock inside you.

And you could almost swear he was in love with you, with how he clashed on your teeth so messy, so hot, so starved. Like he couldn’t get enough with the way he hastily moves to press wet, open-mouthed kisses down your jaw. 

"Oh. Fuck. You are so unfair you know that?" he was heavily gasping for air, but still made sure to leave a kiss after every deep thrust inside you.

"Is that what you wanted? No more thoughts because I fuck you so good?" and he went all the way back out of you just to slam his hips back down again.

"fuck!" you almost screamed as he hit that spot inside again, holding onto his back, no more like clawing at his back for dear life. "right t-there, please!"

His head went lower with his trail of kisses until he reached your chest. "No need to beg, pretty."

Your body is slick with sweat and only growing hotter by the moment; the sound of his rough panting coupled with the occasional whine he lets out only has you panting more.

And he has the nerve to go faster while thrusting inside you. Making you see stars as he kissed your nipples, sucked on them, made out with your chest.

"Satoru!" you moaned, you couldn't do anything else. "You are killing me!"

And even though you were far gone and overstimulated to the moon you could feel his cocky smile at your chest. And he didn't even consider slowing down at your plead, no he more seemed proud of himself making you so fucked out.

How is he fucking you like his life depended on it, couldn't he get tired? Every lasting slap! at your walls had you gasping for air, while he had to close his eyes at how your walls clamped down around him and sucked him back in.

Was this heaven?

"Are you close?" he was out of breath while he stopped sucking for just a second and you would be lying if you said you didn't want him to just continue.

"Yeah, please keep going."

"What did I say about b-begging?" he moaned again. " I'm getting closer myself. Where do you want it?"

And for some dumb reason you screamed-

"Inside!"

And he did. You felt the hot spurt inside you, filling you up, making you feel so full. And yet he didn't stop, no still helped you to reach your high.

And you couldn't help how his frantic hits against your core caused your toes to curl and your back to arch further than ever before as you’re slowly being brought closer to your tense, and awaited edge. “Cumming, cumming!”

"Yeah, just let go for me..." his voice was low amd his face suddenly no longer on your chest, but so close to your own. "Cum for me, pretty girl."

"Ooh... Ah!" it was almost embarrassing how hard you came. But you needed that at this day. Maybe it was far more embarrassing how you were asleep five seconds later.

"Fuck, baby, you are so beautiful..."

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"Want a glass of water?"

Your eyes were still sticky, the last night not fully slept away. Where were you? This wasn't your own bed.

You sat up, but realizing that your head would spin and push you down before you could steady yourself. And as you looked up you saw him.

And you remembered what had happened yesterday.

"Wouldn't hurt." he answered himself and sat down next to your, heavy, heavy body and somehow lifted your back so you sat. Bringing the water to your lips.

"Drink so you don't throw up on me now."

You just obeyed him and sipped on the cold water, that went down your aching, dry throat so deliciously. You downed it in one sip.

"That's right." his hand went up and down your back soothing. "You and I had maybe too many drinks yesterday."

And then you realized the situation.

You were sitting here. On the bed of a stranger. With still no clothes on. As you drunkenly followed him into his apartment. What was wrong with your brain?

"Thank you." you took the glass from him. "I'm alright now."

He had that soft smile and something inside it punched you inside your gut.

"Alright I'm doing breakfast now." he stood up and looked amused as you hid yourself under his covers. "You can come when you're ready."

And like that he was out the door. Breathing began to be so much easier. You had to find a way out of here. And quickly, before this was becoming more awkward than it should.

What were you thinking yesterday? Fucking Gojo Satoru of all people? You just proved the point of your ex. You really were a slut.

Your things were all around the room, probably disgarded in the act yesterday. Picking them up and dressing yourself in them again felt nasty, like last night was sticking onto you.

You opened the door and looked around to see the exit. And there it was. The wardrobe with your shoes. You tiptoed there, softly.

"Leaving already?"

You turned around to a Gojo Satoru leaning against the doorframe of the supposed kitchen. He looked amused and had one eyebrow raised.

"Well, yeah... I completely forgot about it, but I have some things to do..." you fiddle with your shoes impatiently.

"Alright, should I bring you home?"

"NO!" You cleared your throat. "I mean- there is really no need."

He shrugged. "If you say so. But be safe and drink at home again."

You nodded and with that you were out.

You didn't remember your old one night stands to be that open and smily. No, they just told you how to leave and slept through the morning, while snoring.

Your phone vibrated inside of your bag. And you could see a message of a new number.

Satoru <333

Hey, get home safe!

Oh and we exchanged numbers yesterday, if you don't remember.

You couldn't help but feel guilty, but you left him on read. Why did he message you? Why was he so nice to you like he wanted to get to know you.

How could you tell him, that you just used him as a good fuck?

[ilove-adawong]

CAI BOTS - S.T.A.R.S Team Collection - ⭐️

I got bored and made a bunch of bots based off of the Stars team :) This blog may be a bit long so be warned before you open it if that annoys you!

Includes: Wesker, Chris, Jill, Leon, Rebecca (All gender neutral)

Albert Wesker - He's only soft with you (Link)

Wesker is a strict boss, not because he's 100% a cold man. He truly cares for his team, even if that means having to reprimand them for mistakes.

You were new to the team, but it didn't mean Wesker would be any less hard on you right? At least you thought so, every time you had been scolded or put to work by Wesker you would complain to your team about it. But they would tell you that you were lucky, he went easy on you. You didn't believe this because it didn't feel like Wesker was going easy on you.

Today you had woken up late, you were asked to stay last at the station last night filing all the reports that had come in, there had been a huge accident in the nearby area, so the team was busy. You practically had run into the station and into the S.T.A.R.S room, sitting down at your desk. Jill, one of your teammates gives you a knowing look, since both of you know Wesker would come out of his office anytime soon to talk to you.

Wesker walks out of his office, his eyes glued on you with an unreadable expression. The sunglasses made it harder to read his face. "[name]. You're late." He said simply.

You apologize to him, using the late night at the office as an excuse as to why you came in late. He stares down at you, as if thinking about your excuse and deeming it valid or not. "Very well, don't let it happen again." He said, walking back to his office.

Jill scoffs to herself, shaking her head slightly. "Not fair… I came in late last week and he gave me a write-up."

Chris Redfield - Crushing on the new team member (Link)

When you were introduced to the team Chris was excited, they hadn't had anyone new in about a year. Your first day comes by and you're attractive to say the least, no big deal to Chris. That's until the days go by, weeks, then a few months and the feelings don't go away. In fact they get worse, bigger and he's suddenly imagining how your lips would feel against his.

But he shakes those feeling off, he had never felt this way about anyone before. He had no idea what to do about them! He told his trusted friend, Jill, about them but all she did was laugh at him. Well, she did give some advice, but it was all go flirt them or ask them out and all of that sounded a little too crazy to him.

He'd rather keep staring at you subconsciously, or try and start conversation with you but instead it gets all awkward because Chris is stumbling over his words.

Today, Chris was on coffee duty, he had the list of coffee's in his hand. He delivers yours last so he could talk to you and hopefully say more than a couple sentences. "So… you a big coffee fan?" He said, awkwardly hovering by your desk.

Jill Valentine - Giving you a hard time (Link)

Today the team was gonna go into the shooting range to get some practice, of course Jill was already talking about how she was gonna do so much better than you.

You guy's had developed this playful rivalry where anytime you guys train, you try to outdo each other. Most of the time Jill comes out victorious because of her competitiveness. Not only is there competition between you guys, there's this unspoken tension, neither of you are bold enough to make the first move on each other but there's obvious attraction. You both know it, maybe it's another mini competition. Who breaks first and asks the other out? Well it was not gonna be you, she already beats you at most things, you had to win with this.

Training went by quickly, Jill again wins by beating you with 4 clean shots to the middle target. "Not much of a sharp-shooter are we…" Jill taunts playfully as you guys walk back to the station.

Leon Kennedy - Admiring the S.T.A.R.S team (Link)

Leon was very excited when he got accepted into the RPD, his dream was to be a police officer even if he had to move away from home to fulfil that dream.

The first month of him being there was going pretty good, everyone was nice and Leon figured he was doing a good job. What he wasn't aware about before joining was the S.T.A.R.S team working in the same station. It was full of ex-military personnel. This location was one of the 2 they worked in! And Leon felt lucky to be able to see them, he admired them. He found them insanely strong and hardworking. So much so he may have developed a little crush on of the team members.

[name], he saw you there a few times, getting coffee, walking the hallways, or coming into work. He thought you were attractive, and he also may have looked at your file. Your experience was no joke, and Leon couldn't tell if he wished to be with you or be you.

Today was a late night, some cops gave Leon their unfinished work to finish. And of course Leon wanting to please, said yes. This didn't go unnoticed by you, since you often worked late nights and found it weird to see the same blonde cop during the night. You knew it was the rookie since you'd never seen him before. And you already found the cops who worked here lazy and annoying. You took the opportunity to talk to him when he was in the break room making a coffee. "Hey, your name is Leon right?" You asked, although you already knew it was.

"Yeah! Tha- That's my name." He said, looking shocked, he didn't even hear you come in and his brain was fried from exhaustion. He didn't really expect you to talk to him, let alone right now.

Rebecca Chambers - Your friend helps you out (Link)

While you are a skilled solider, that doesn't mean that you aren't a bit clumsy. It's a well known fact by the entire team, during training or missions somehow you will manage to get hurt. Let it be a small cut or a huge bruise, luckily it hasn't been anything worse but that's only because Rebecca keeps you in check.

Even with her on your side protecting you, you will still manage to get hurt. She will still be there to tend to your wounds though.

Today the team was training, although it was more like playful fighting. Somehow you slip and you get a nasty scratch, blood and all. Of course Rebecca steps in, pulling you aside to properly clean your wound. "You haven't even let the last cut heal, and you already got a new one?" She says shaking her head. "Do I need to wrap you in bubble wrap?"

[whorefordean]

Hi if it's not to much trouble could you do unrequited love prompt 2 with JJ Mayback

just having fun || j.m

wc: 1.1k

warnings: jj gaslights, mentions of jj’s abuse, cursing

prompt: “it’s tiring. loving you while you love her.”

a/n: thank you for the request!! i did change the prompt a bit (“it’s tiring watching you fall in love with…”) um im not sure how i feel about this one but i do know that it took everything in me not to turn it into a rafe fic where reader somehow ends up with him… anyways i hope you enjoy.

you watched as jj doubled over laughing with kiara. the familiar ache that lived in your chest had been extremely active recently. jj and kiara had gotten a lot closer when you guys got stranded on the island. poguelandia, it had been deemed. it was meant to be your escape. your freedom. in reality, it had just been a hard fucking time.

there were some enjoyable moments. like when jj actually acted like he was your boyfriend instead of drooling over kiara. lately, it seemed like he’d forgotten that you were the one he claimed to be in love with.

you stood up from the log you had been sitting on and decided to go talk to sarah and cleo for advice. you approached the girls with a small smile and slowly sat down beside them.

“i need advice,” you blurted out. the girl’s looked at each other in confusion.

“we are on an island with no rules, no parents, and no worries. what’s got you so bothered?” sarah asked with concern. you sighed, shoulders slumped. you gave them the rundown, explaining how jj had been acting recently.

“i wanna say it’s because we’re stuck here, but it’s been like this for a while. i feel like i’ve been fighting for his attention our entire relationship,” you spoke truthfully. it was something you had just now come to terms with. his relationship with kie. they had always been close, and it didn’t bother you before. kie had always respected your relationship with jj, never pushing any boundaries that would make you uncomfortable.

“have you mentioned this to jj?” cleo asked, leaning back on her hands.

“once, a few weeks after we started getting serious. i asked if he had any feelings for kiara. he laughed and just shrugged it off. said i was looking too far into something that wasn’t there,” you shrugged, now realizing just how bad it sounded.

“can i be brutally honest?” sarah asked. you nodded, indicating for her to continue.

“i think you should just break up with him now. you need to make sure that you don’t get hurt any worse than you already have. if you stay with him, you’ll just get more attached and it’s gonna hurt worse later,” sarah voiced her opinions. cleo nodded along in agreement.

“honestly, it sounds like the love was never even there, and i hate to be so brutal about it. but if he cared, he would’ve listened the first time you told him you were uncomfortable,” cleo added, earning a hum of approval from sarah.

you sighed, feeling a little bit of relief that you weren’t crazy. you didn’t tell them that you were planning to break up with jj beforehand, not wanting to be talked out of it. But it was reassuring, you guess, hearing your feelings on such an unfortunate situation get validated.

you thanked the girls for listening and the advice, then excused yourself. you slowly made your way over to jj and kiara, who were still deep in conversation. you cleared your throat. kiara noticed you first, smiling brightly up at you in greeting. you returned the smile, genuinely, before gesturing towards jj.

“hey, can i steal you for a few minutes, jj,” it came out as a statement, leaving little room for jj to decline, though, he always had the option to walk away. he nodded and stood from his spot with kie before following into step behind you. he watched you curiously as you led him away from your friends to a more private area. the two of you walked in silence for a few minutes before you finally stopped and turned to face jj.

“i’m breaking up with you,” you spoke evenly, allowing no emotion to filter into your words. you stood with your shoulders squared and your head held high. he laughed. he fucking laughed. not just a small chuckle, either. full blown cackling.

you stared at him in disbelief as anger surged through your body.

“wow, okay. fuck you, jj,” you scoffed as you turned to walk away. jj composed himself, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“wait. are you serious?,” jj spoke, resting his hand on your arm.

“yeah, jj. it’s tiring watching you fall in love with kie, and i just-” you started to explain, shrugging his hand off of you.

“no, that’s not - you seriously thought we were dating?” jj asked, genuinely curious.

you stared at him in disbelief. your eyebrows furrowed, and your jaw dropped open just slightly. you exhaled sharply and crossed your arms over your chest. you bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to calm down.

“my mistake, jj. i thought it was safe to assume that when you told me you were in love with me that you were actually in love with me. trust me, i won’t make that mistake again,” you spewed angrily. you were embarrassed. you turned on your heel and walked away from your ex whatever. jj quickly rushed to catch up with you, not completely done with this conversation.

“how was i supposed to know that you thought we were exclusive?” jj asked while throwing his arms up. you stopped dead in your tracks, causing him to run into you.

“jj, what the fuck would you call this?” you questioned, gesturing between the two of you. your blood was boiling with rage, and you were about to explode.

“i thought we were just having fun with each other!” jj shouted back in annoyance.

“why would i introduce you as my boyfriend to my fucking parents if we were just having fun, jj,” you asked rhetorically. jj said nothing as he rolled his eyes at you and crossed him arms defensively over his chest.

“you’re a fucking joke, jj. jesus fucking christ. honestly, i shouldn’t be surprised. i forgot that the only role models you had growing up just taught you how to treat other people like shit,” you barked angrily. that was too far, you know, but you’re too far gone to give a damn. you’ll face the guilt later, but it feels good right now.

“what the fuck, y/n!” jj yelled at you in disgust. he had trusted not only you but the other pogues with the knowledge of how his father treated him, and you had trust betrayed him.

“feels like shit, huh? betrayal stings like a bitch,” you spat. you turned around and rushed away from him, lifting your hand in a silent fuck you to the man standing behind you.

you were so desperate to get off this island that you were half tempted to start swimming back to kildare. even if you didn’t last very long in the ocean, you were sure that sharks would’ve been better company than jj maybank.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 6 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Your parents invite Mr. Jeon over to dinner without your knowledge and spring a proposal on you that you're not given a chance to refuse Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 4.1k~ Warnings: Explicit Language and a lot of teasing a/n: A longer chapter as promised 😅 Hope you guys are looking forward to the next one 🤭 p.s. barely edited so have mercy on me lmao Start from the beginning

"Hey" my mom says, popping her head in my room. "Yeah?" I respond, thumbing through the most recent book Jungkook gave me. "Dinner is almost ready so can you come downstairs in a bit?" she questions and I look up at her as if she's grown two heads. 

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I question, extremely suspicious of her motives. "What do you mean? I'm your mother" she chuckles, walking towards where I'm laying on my bed, brushing back the hair that had fallen in my face. 

"Usually you use that as an excuse to discipline me or whatever so what's really going on?" I question, sitting up from my reclined position and straightening out my clothes. 

"I was going to wait for James to tell you but there's a charity ball next weekend and we wanted you to attend it with us" she says, smiling at the idea of having a united front with all three of us together. 

"A charity ball? What charity?" I prod further while cocking a brow at her. Wanting to figure out exactly why there needs to be an event when they can just not have an event and give all the money to the charity. 

I swear, I'll never understand rich people. 

"I don't know honey that's something for your father to worry about" she says not giving a care in the world to what I thought was a very valid question. "Step father" I correct her. 

No matter how hard she tries, no one is going to take my father's place.

"Step father" she echos as if she's tired of me already "Either way, it'll be good to get your face out in public with us. Who knows, you might be able to make some good connections along the way" she finishes as she walks out the door, paying no mind to if I would like to continue the conversation or not.

"Oh and we've invited Mr. Jeon to dinner tonight so he'll be arriving shortly" she calls out over her shoulder. 

'Mr. Jeon is coming okay whatever' I think to myself before blinking a few times and finally processing what she said. "Mr. Jeon is having dinner with us? Why?" I say rushing out of my room to catch her before she's gotten too far. 

"Well after he dropped you off the other night I realized that James and I haven't really had a chance to speak to him yet so a family dinner seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so. Is there a problem with that?" she questions, noticing my body language. 

"Nope. No problem at all" I choke out, mad that she didn't give me any sort of warning or better yet, asked if I was comfortable with it. "Great, we told him to come around 6:30 so try to be down before he gets here" she says and continues on her descent down the stairs and out of my sight.

"Shit" I say to myself and run back into my room and check my phone where it reads six o'clock on the dot. 

Looking down at the clothes I'm wearing I realize I'm donning an oversized sweatshirt and some baggy sweats with my hair in a sad excuse for a ponytail and run into my bathroom to do something with my hair as quickly as I can.

After doing that and throwing on some mascara and chapstick I dig through my closet and find a nice off the shoulder sweater and some jeans and throw them on as quickly as I can and pair it with a set of converse hoping that it'll suffice. 

I know for a fact that he's gonna show up in something ridiculous like a suit of some sort but I can't be bothered to do much more than this. Thanks to my mother I wasn't even given the opportunity to choose otherwise. 

"Y/n Mr. Jeon's pulling up right now" I hear my mom call out for me. I roll my eyes before responding. "Be right there" I yell out, checking myself out one last time before heading down where I see my mom is already greeting him in the doorway. 

As I observe their exchange I watch as Jungkook's eyes flicker over in my direction but once he actually sees me he makes eye contact after dragging his eyes up and down my figure, making me lose my footing for a second but not enough for him to notice. Or so I thought as he meets me with a knowing smile while my mother has her head turned the other way. 

I roll my eyes at him and finish my path down the steps without falter and end up a few feet in front of him where my mom still spouts off a ridiculous excuse for small talk all while Jungkook has barely taken his eyes off me.

"Thank you for inviting me Mrs. Hart" Jungkook says and she quickly dismisses the formalities requesting he call her Lily instead before she excuses herself so she can grab a vase for the flowers I'm just now noticing he had given her. 

"Y/n would you mind taking him to the sitting room? Dinner should be ready soon" she finishes and leaves Jungkook and I still standing by the front door. 

"For you" he says pulling out a single white rose from behind his back. "Oh, it's beautiful" I say, reaching out to take it from him, accidentally grabbing his hand instead of the flower and look up at him with the intension to apologize but my words are caught in my throat when I meet his eyes. 

His damn eyes that see right though me yet beg to learn more. His eyes that leave my skin crawling but craves his touch no matter how light it might be. His eyes that tell me everything and nothing all at once. 

"You're welcome Pretty" he whispers as though it was a secret never to be told to any soul other than our own.

"I- what?" I stammer, caught off guard by his compliment, eyes wide in shock which only earns me a slight upturn of his lips before he turns to face towards the direction my mother had disappeared to.  

"Shouldn't we be heading to the sitting room like your mother requested?" he says slipping his hand out of my grasp. 

I clear my throat before wordlessly walking towards said room, worried that I might betray myself otherwise. 

"You have a lovely home" he says once I motion towards a place for him to sit once we arrive in said room. "Thank you. James and my mother bought it soon after they got married so we've lived here ever since" I respond, making an effort to keep the conversation going. 

"Would you mind if I asked how long ago that was?" he questions, opting to do the same. "It was about four years ago, around the time I was graduating. They had been dating for a few years and I guess they decided that they were serious enough about each other to get married" I say just scratching the surface as to how everything went down between them. 

"Are you fond of your step father?" he asks, apparently interested in getting to know more about me. "I like him more than I like my own mother most days if I'm being honest. He's a really great guy and my mom seems happy so that's all I could really ask for" I say shrugging my shoulders, not really having too strong of an opinion on it. 

He nods his head, almost reflecting on the answer and I fear that I've made him feel awkward by my response so I nervously slip in a question of my own. "Do you have family close by?" I question since now that I think about it we really haven't had too much time to get to know the most basic things about each other. 

"Unfortunately no. My parents and brother live in Korea still and so it's just Bam and I" he says with a sad smile. "Bam?" I question, "Yeah my dog. He's a Doberman that thinks he's a lap dog at times and at other's he's ready to defend me against the smallest of things" he says with a soft smile reminiscing about the fond memories they've made together. 

"How old is he?" I question, seeing that he clearly loves talking about him. "He'll be turning two in December" he says scrunching his brows together for a second as he tries to get it right. "Aw he's still just a baby. Why haven't I seen him before?" I question since I feel like I would've noticed a big puppy like him wandering around the place. 

"I take him to his trainers while I'm working and then pick him up once we've concluded our lessons" he replies. "So that's the business meeting you spoke about when my mother tried to invite you to dinner the other night then" I say clearly catching him in a lie from seeing his reaction. 

"Yes, it was" he says, deciding to admit it to set a good example for me instead of breaking the promise we made. "Is that why you force me into letting you give me a ride home most days?" I prod further, wanting to get answers out of him while I still can. 

"That, amongst other things..." he trails off with a smile and before I'm even able to think about what the fuck he means by that my mother comes in letting us know that dinner is ready. 

"Thank you so much for joining us on such late notice Mr. Jeon" James says, reaching out to shake Jungkook's hand before we all sit down. Jungkook sitting across from me with my mother and James on either end of the table. 

"Thank you for your generous invitation. You have a very lovely home" he compliments while turning his attention back to my mother for a second, inferring that she was probably the designer from the feminine touches throughout it all. 

"Lily really prides herself in creating a soft and peaceful atmosphere and I can't help but adore everything she's done to the place" James says while gazing over at my mother with a soft smile. Anyone can see that he really loves her and although her and I butt heads I'm happy she ended up with someone like him. 

"I feel as though you've definitely achieved your goal then, wouldn't you say y/n?" Jungkook says, catching me off guard by bringing me into the conversation.

"Oh, um yes I think you've done a wonderful job mother" I say smiling at her momentarily before looking back over at Jungkook, giving him a look as a way to question his motives but he only gives me a pleasant smile in return. 

The night goes on almost painlessly with each of us engaging in what Jungkook would phrase it as 'Stimulating Conversations' and even gets a few smiles and laughs out of me. It feels as if I'm seeing him in a new light tonight. 

Not merely as teacher and student, but as some what of a friend. One that I'm starting to realize has had nothing but my best interest at heart. Sure some of his methods might seem unorthodox but I know now that he means well, he just has an interesting way of showing it. 

"Would that be alright with you y/n?" I hear James call out, making me realize I had not only been thinking about Jungkook but also staring right at him and losing track of the conversation. 

"I'm sorry what was that?" I say quickly, tearing my eyes off of Jungkook and over at James, hoping to hide that I was staring at Jungkook but also avoiding his ever knowing gaze. 

"I just asked Jungkook if he would escort you to the charity ball we had mentioned earlier. That way you have a familiar face around" he says, widening my eyes at the suggestion and flitter them between Jungkook and James for a moment before trying to deny the offer. 

"I couldn't possibly ask him to do that. I'm sure he has other matters to attend to or someone else he might have in mind to go with" I babble, trying to offer him a way out of this but my mother clears her throat as a warning to not try to push it anymore and to just accept what James thinks would be best for me. 

"It's fine y/n, I assure you. I would be more than happy to help guide you. It's important for you to make a good impression no?" he says, nudging his foot against mine. Leaving me jolting at the sudden contact. "R-right" I stutter, taking a sip of water to cover up my reaction. 

He just loves getting his way doesn't he? I swear, if we weren't being watched I would've stomped on his foot but instead I pull my feet back towards myself, leaving them out of reach and luckily they take our exchange as an agreement to the posed idea.

"If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? You just seem so mature but look so young that I just can't seem to pinpoint what your age might be" my mother asks him while taking a sip of her wine. I swear if she's tipsy and about to start flirting with him right in front of James I'm gonna puke. 

"I turned 27 last September, I do tend to get that a lot. I guess it's just one of the many blessings my parents have bestowed on me" he says lightheartedly but I can tell he's clearly eating up the compliments as a way to tease me. 

"Do your parents live close by? I feel like I would've seen them by now at one of the events over the years but I can't seem to recall a Mr. or Mrs. Jeon" James ponders, turning Jungkook's attention back over to him. 

"Oh they're back in Busan, my home town in South Korea. I figured it would be too big of an adjustment for them to move here so I make sure to go visit them when my schedule allows it" he says giving a concise answer. 

"Oh I've heard that Busan is a beautiful place to live. It's by the coast if memory serves me right" my mother jumps in, making me take interest in the conversation, still wanting to know more about him. 

"Yes that's correct, although I only lived there until I was about eighteen when I got accepted into Seoul National University and in turn moved to Seoul" he informs and James asks more and more questions, fascinated in what the upperclass might call a "self made man journey". 

~~~~~~

As the night wraps up and the dessert is long gone I can see that my mother is ready to head to bed, hopefully before making an absolute fool of herself after all the wine she's consumed. 

"It was lovely meeting you Jungkook" my mother lightly slurs and James soon comes to her aid to say goodbye as well and I take that as an opportunity to slip out to get some air.

Making my way to the courtyard at the back of the house I take in the sight of the few stars that I can manage to make out, all these city lights stopping them from shining as bight.

"It's a shame isn't it?" I hear Jungkook's voice say from behind me, making me jolt in surprise. "You scared me" I say after glancing back at him. "I apologize, I didn't mean to" he say while taking a few strides towards me. 

"Likely story" I mumble under my breath and he chuckles at my reaction. "Okay maybe I did a little bit, but it's only because I enjoy watching your reactions" he says smugly once he's standing next to me. 

"Where's James?" I question, glancing over at him before turning my attention back to the sky. "Taking your mother to bed. Seems like she's had one too many" I nod my head in acknowledgment and he surprisingly takes it as an answer, refraining from asking questions, seeing my slight discomfort on the topic. 

"What's a shame?" I question, making him tilt his head in confusion. "You said earlier 'It's a shame'. What were you referring to?" I remind him. "It's a shame you can't see many stars from here. The city lights tend to shine so bright that you can never truly see how brilliant they are" he smiles before answering. 

"I don't think I've ever actually seen that many stars. I think the closest thing was when I was on a road trip with my mom and dad. I was too young though so I hardly remember it. I miss it though" I end, clearing my throat and pushing away any emotions that had stirred up from that last statement. 

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that" I say rubbing one of my bicep and shrinking back into myself so to say. 

"You have nothing you need to apologize for y/n" he responds, leaving a beat of silence before filling it up again. 

"I used to go stargazing with my father too" he starts, making me make eye contact with him for a second. "We used to drive all the way out to the edge of town where it was away from all the big buildings and bring a big blanket to lay on and we would just look up at the stars for what felt like hours" he smiles fondly, turning his focus back towards the heavens. 

"I remember my mother scolding my father once for keeping me out too late, worried that I might've caught a cold. My father swore up and down that we both had dressed warm enough but by morning we both woke up sick as dogs" he chuckles, making me smile. 

"She continued to scold him all day and all night but even through all of that, she was still there, nursing us back to health" he finishes. 

"She sounds lovely" respond truthfully "She is" he whispers with a sad smile, and from that alone I can tell how much he misses home. "She can be quite intimidating when she wants to be though" he laughs. 

"Oh really? Is that who you get it from?" I say, poking fun at him. "Get what?" he asks turning to face me and I mirror him, meeting his mischievous gaze. 

"Your intimidation tactics you try to use on me" I say and he cocks an eyebrow at me. 

"Try? I'm pretty sure I'm rather successful most days don't you think?" he questions taking a few steps towards me, leaving me taking a few steps back. 

"Key word is most though, they don't always work" I say, walking backwards not paying mind to anything but keeping a distance between us. 

"Really?" he says with a knowing smile, glancing behind me. As I open my mouth to respond I lose my footing and step off the patio flooring and onto the grass but before I fall Jungkook grabs my wrist and pulls me flush against his chest. 

"Because they seem to be working right now. Seeing as you're trying to run away from me" he teases, tilting his head at me. 

I push against his chest lightly and he loosens his grasp on me to barely give me room to breathe. "I wasn't running" I say, placing my hands on top of his and prying them off of me. With him letting go with little to no resistance, allowing me to step aside and walk past him. 

"Then what were you doing?" he says grabbing my wrist before I get to far. As I try to respond I see a light turn on in my parents bedroom and pull Jungkook over to hide behind one of the pillars, hiding incase one of them were to look outside. 

I watch for a few moments, holding my breath as I see shadows form in the light cast across the lawn, feeling my heart race until the light turns off, signaling that they've hopefully turned in for the night. 

I let out that breath and jump at the sound of an amused scoff, having forgotten that he was still with me. 

"What was it you were doing Miss y/n" he says in a hushed tone and when I turn to face him I realize I have my back against the pillar with a strong grip on his wrist, in turn having pulled him closer in an effort to hide. 

I take in the distance between us which at this point is mere centimeters and lose my words watching as the city lights reflect in his eyes. 

"I was maintaining personal space" I say after having regained the slightest bit of clarity which dissipates when he leans his forearm against the pillar above my head and leans in closer. 

"And what pray tell are you doing now?" he asks in my ear and I can almost feel how much he's enjoying this, leaving me without the strength to come up with a reply. 

"Hmm? Cat got you tongue?" he says, placing his hand on my waist and barely ghosting his lips against my skin. 

He waits there for a beat, giving me a chance to respond but when I don't he decides to fill up that space. "I had fun tonight. Invite me over again sometime?" he questions, squeezing my waist a bit making me let out a quite okay and he smiles against my skin before pushing himself off of me and turning to walk back inside. 

I stammer trying to say something but decide to just follow behind him.

"Let me get your coat and I'll walk you out" I say, knowing where we keep them when guest come and quickly catch up to where he stands at the front door and handing it to him. He decides to drape it over his arm in place of putting it on since his car is parked right out front. 

He opens the door and lets me out first before following after and closing it behind us to keep the crisp night air from getting into the warm house.

"Thank you, um thank you for coming tonight. I wasn't really in on this plan so I'm sorry if the invitation inconvenienced you at all" I explain while following him to the drivers side of the car. 

"I had a free spot open tonight so I was more than happy to accept" he says, opening the door and leaning in to place his things on the passenger side seat and straightening back up to face me again, not making moves to sit inside yet. 

"I'm sorry they basically volunteered you to be my date to this stupid ball thing" I apologize further, looking down and kicking the rocks under my shoes in embarrassment. 

"You know," he start, tilting my chin up to make eye contact, "You say sorry quite a lot for someone who doesn't need to apologize" he finishes, rubbing corner on my lips with his thumb before leaning in. 

I shut my eyes tight, scared that this might be the time he actually kisses me and hold my breath. 

I hear him chuckle to himself and places a kiss on the corner of my mouth, close enough to keep me wanting more and no where near far enough to maintain that professionalism he tries but fails to maintain around me. 

"Goodnight y/n" he whispers before sinking down into the drivers seat making me open my eyes fast enough to see the satisfied smirk on his face. 

He closes his door and starts the car, rolling down his window before he puts it in drive. 

"We're going to the modiste in the morning to pick out your dress for the event so be ready at seven" he says, turning his face towards me. 

"But it's Sunday" I protest and he nods in acknowledgment. "I'm aware but time is of the essence love. I'll come pick you up so please be ready on time" he says, waiting for an answer to solidify the plan. 

"Yes Mr. Jeon" I mumble looking down at my shoes again, falling into routine of agreeing when I wish I didn't have to. "Good girl" he finishes, leaving me snapping my vision back up at him with shock and he grants me a smile in return. 

"Goodnight Mr. Jeon" I say and at that he chuckles and faces straight ahead, rolling up his window before pulling out of the driveway and onto the street. Leaving me with my thoughts and emotions in a turmoil like he always does. 

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[zuffer-weird-girl]

Is there a reason why I decided to remake a fic of my family au? No, not really, but I wanted to.

Why did he agreed on this? Why?

He could be free of any eyebags,. He could have more time om his work, projects to get the hassaikai back to their glory... more PRIVATE time with you.

But no. No, no no. Have a kid Chisaki they said, it will be a great experience they said.

"Daddy I threw up." The four years old boy mumbled in the door of his office and he could only grimace at the hint of the puke on the corner of his son's lips and all over his shirt.

It wasn't a fucking great experience at all when it came to this.

Kaito had came down with a lot of bad case of colds recently... ever since he was put into a pree school at least. It was normal for kids to get easily sick when they get introduced to a new environment with lots of children in it.

But he swore to all above that sometimes he would even beg to you, ON HIS KNEES EVEN, that if you guys just could home school your son since it was getting him sick like this VERY single time.

But you refused.

At first he was enraged but then you came with a very valid point.

'Kaito needs to interact with more people outside the yakuza... I don't have anything against the precepts, but I think our son deserves to have a normal childhood with actual friends close to his age at least.'

He hated when you were right...

He also wouldn't particularly enjoy that his son got too close with precepts either... he did killed Mimic for teaching Kaito the word 'shit'...

It also didn't help that YOU WERE OUT. You had went along with Chrono to retrieve the medicines the doctor had prescribed on the last visit so now he was basically alone with his kid.

His very dirty and sick kid.

"Good lord..." he growled and stood up from his chair as the boy bounced back and forth... despite being sick, Kaito was still fairly acting like it wasn't a big deal...

"Where is mommy?" The boy as he leaded him to the bathroom to get him cleaned, grab some towels..... and a new pair of gloves.

"Out." He groaned while carefully sliding the shirt off his son and immediately dumping into the basket of clothes ... the smell was almost making him wanting to throw his guts out as well...

"I want mommy... " the boy grumbled "You don't know how to do this..."

"Excuse me?" He breathed out in offense at this kid basically telling him he can't do something right "Get in the shower Kaito. Now."

"No."

This brat....

"Get in there before I make you." He growled and the little boy, already used to his father's attics, just had the audacity to show his tongue at him and turn his back to him.

"You dont how to wash my hair." The four years complained and Chisaki's right eye started to twitch.

"What do you mean by that-"

"Mommy does it better than you."

He groaned... his son was just as stubborn as him and he swore this was karma sended by the old man himself that ALSO was the one that proclaimed he wanted grandkids.

He just took his gloves off and went to grab Kaito's by the waist but the calm and collected kid started to trash around and making a fuss and even yelled when he was put under the water...

He also got splashed as well.... his dress t shirt and black pants now completely soaked.

Kaito when he got sick he acted like it didn't bother him, but he also would get extremely annoyed, clingy and even bossy...

And the fact that the kid also made a fuss to GET OUT of the shower he DIDN'T want to enter at first also started to pick on his damn nerves...

"What did you even ate before you threw up?" He growled while drying the kid who was sniffing for both being sick and crying out earlier about his father taking him out of the water.

"Just some sliced apples... and a chocolate bar uncle Rappa gave me-"

"WHAT?!" He accidentally yelled, immediately feeling like a dick for making his son flinch from the sound..

It reminding him of... her.

"... you can't eat those things when you got problems on your stomach." He said more calmly and drying his son's hair way gentler than usual "It just makes things worse and it ends with you throwing up."

Kaito's (E/c) looked up to his father and nodded, more calm than earlier as Kai sighed... The kid wasn't dumb, he knew when his father was out of patient or just tired... he could even sense it when the yakuza leader was down in the dumb.

Call it whatever you want. But the kid swore it was a talent that only him and his mother could have. The ability to understand Chisaki Kai.

His grandmother always told him that so he believed it.

"Sorry." The kid finally mumbled catching Kai's attention... usually golden cold eyes softening a bit.

"... is fine." He patted his son's head... he resisted the urge to smirk when his son's closed his eyes with a small giggle.

.

.

.

"Hey! I'm back from the- oh." You immediately stopped on your tracks in the living room as soon as you saw Kai, holding his son like a dog, making him take a liquid medicine.

"MOMMY HELP HE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" the boy whined and immediately got out of his father's death grip to run into you while sobbing a bit...

"He just threw up minutes ago." Kai growled while pointing to the culprit you had just picked up.

"He threw up and you didn't made a fuss out of it?" You teased your husband who only growled at you "I'm shocked."

"No. He was bad at it. See mama?" Kaito pulled a bit his hair "He forced me to take a shower and my hair is now weird... daddy also mentioned he would kill uncle Rappa."

"Listen here you little sh-"

"KAI!"

.

.

.

"He is asleep.." You sighed in relief before closing the door to your son's room and but soon catching your husband unusual expression of... worry? Dread? You couldn't exactly tell.

Apparently sensing your gaze on him he just stayed with his arms crossed over his chest before sighing.

"I don't think is normal for a infant to get constantly sick like this..."

Ah... so that was it.

He was worried. Worried that his son would only get worse on his health, worried that Kaito would be sick like this all of time.

Kai wouldn't ever say that out loud.. he would never express it with words that he was worried or cared for either Kaito or you... his actions though, express it louder how much he actually cared. From offering small acts of service to satisfy your wants and even allow himself to get out of his comfort zone to touch you...to protecting his kid on the playground like a angry wolf protecting his cub only because the kid had pushed Kaito with a bit more strength than usual.

Chisaki could be very bad with emotions... but he had them, and believing it or not, he felt them strongly.

"Is alright... the doctor already told us it's a common cold... Kaito is still young and is still developing his immune system..." You mumbled, offering to touch his arm as a warning to not make him uncomfortable.

He simply sighed, a sign you could touch him as you started to carres his upper arm...

"... is not a very... pleasant sensation to see him... on this state. I mean, not only is a mess and this brat gets even more audacious as usual but..." he stopped himself from talking with a scowl before widening his eyes when you made him turn to kiss his lips.

"I'm worried for our son too. But he is strong, just like his parents." You smiled up at your husband before he scoffed, turning to look back to his son's room. A faint blush present on the tip of his ears.

He didn't liked the feeling of his chest contracting in a painfully way every time when Kaito sobbed a bit that he was feeling weird and went straight to you as a comfort... he despised the idea of possibly getting whatever Kaito had but he also felt that it would hurt less if he got this damn cold rather his first born...

It was a very complicated feeling.

.

.

.

But...

Whenever he spotted his son. Giggling, laughing, running... playing with you, Chrono or Pops... it meant that he was well again... he was indeed health.

So yeah... things like seeing your smile and his son's smile... was worth all the nights without sleep or even the worst feeling of deep worry...

.... he didn't regret it. He would go back in time and agree all over again with you to have that brat he swore he would protect you and with his life.

[robotsdeservebetter]

Amber is not a bad person, you’re just mad that “Invincible” rightfully so told you that a girlfriend isn’t something the world owes you for being a good guy.

First of all, yes, Amber is flawed. Some of her actions were questionable, like threatening a bully to flirt with Mark or arguing with him in front of other people right before break up, which I see as her giving him a last chance to come clean, but, if I remember correctly, why in front of others? Also, she genuinely could have thought Mark ran away alone, leaving them, girlfriend and best friend, in danger, because him being Invincible is a theory from her POV, not a fact. Similar voice (even if it’s Steven Yuen), body and hair isn’t enough to say “Yep. Totally the same person”. And, actually, when the theory was confirmed true, it’s even worse than him just being a coward who suddenly leaves all the time. Why?

Because how in the world do you expect a relationship work, if you keep half of your life a secret? Boundaries are good, but Mark put a concrete wall with barbed wire and laser guns and hoped Amber would be understanding enough to pretend she’s blind until he decides it’s time. Amber did questionable things, she was impulsive at times, that’s true, but fuck ups isn’t a competition, it’s not healthy to treat them as such, which is why Amber’s anger was completely justified. Please take a look back at how he treated her.

He embarrassed Amber in front of her Mom by promising to come and not doing so. Mark showed up two hours later, when Amber’s Mom already wasn’t there to meet him. Imagine the awkwardness, the judgement, the “he will be there”. He mentioned things Amber was interested in, but due to him being able to do them thanks to superpowers, couldn’t elaborate, and blatantly changed the topic, which can sting, not enough to make an accusation, but obviously is a way to hide truth, alternatively, can be seen a lie to win Amber’s affections. He bought her a gift to make up for incoming fuck up, which can also sting (even if Amber is materialistic, her being an activist makes it safe to assume she was wondering whether that apology gift came from the stereotype or not). And of course, all the times he left with a made up excuse.

It’s important to note, that the show gave Mark a choice and that he made it. Eve told him that if he’s serious about Amber, he shouldn’t keep such secrets from her. Her own relationship fell apart due to lack of trust (and that Rex is overall a dick). The show made it clear that Mark doesn’t trust Amber, his girlfriend, enough to tell her. So what we have here is that Mark wants everything at once: a solid relationship, which requires both understanding and consent from Amber and trust from him, and safety of only chosen few to know his secret identity. He kept his identity secret, so next step should have been breaking up with Amber. Did he? No, he decided to string her along.

The show treats his decision to lie to Amber as a bad one because it is a bad decision. Mark’s feelings are valid, Amber’s are too and Amber felt left behind, kept as a token girlfriend. Mark only came clean when Amber broke up with him, as a last resort to keep their relationship. Trust isn’t a last resort, it’s the base of the base! Mark made his stance clear: “I don’t trust you, but I will use my sensitive information to convince you to stay and ignore my previous fuck ups”. Thinking about it, he practically used Invincible identity just like the expensive gift from fest: a grand gesture he made only when he risked losing Amber. This is not romantic, if you ask me and Amber.

What I’m trying to say is: Mark can risk his life every single day, and as unfair as it may feel, no other person is required to give him understanding, especially if they don’t know for sure what’s going on. Mark ended up with two opinions from Amber’s POV, both of which are horrible:

Not Invincible. He’s a coward, who leaves his girlfriend and best friend behind, not even trying to make them run away with him. He lies about being interested in same things as her. Brought a rock as a souvenir, which she regarded kindly. He upset Amber’s mom for no apparent reason. In response, all he could do is ask for forgiveness and not give any explanation. Conclusion: not a boyfriend material.

Is Invincible. He claimed to be serious about her, but kept half of his life, his genes a secret, which led to him stringing her along and only offering a “sorry” without explanations. Conclusion: he’s not serious about her, he might not understand it, but he’s not, serious relationship requires trust.

Then, why did she kiss him after a fight with Omni-man? Well, since she’s not an antagonist from any point of view, it’s safe to assume that Amber:

Still loved Mark. The amount of second chances she gave him, the amount of times she dosmissed his obvious lying speaks for her.

Wanted to comfort him and prevent awkwardness. They’re 17-18, how mature are any of them to accept Mark’s ex as a part of the gang without making it awkward?

Combining those two is what she came up with. Is it a good decision? I don’t think it is, they made up for now, but Mark trusts her now not because he decided he can, but because he was “forced” to tell (by plot or himself, so to speak, re-look at points made in paragraph 6. That didn’t come from his almost trust is what I mean).

In the end, fandom has nothing to complain about. Mark DID get his “my personality is to support you” girlfriend. Amber calmed down for now.

So yeah, Amber is not a bad character, she just doesn’t treat Mark like a god. You know who also doesn’t? Eve. A thing to note: Mark trusted her without question. A parallel? A will they won’t they? Who cares, we all know what will happen with their relationship anyway.

In the end I want to say, that I enjoyed Amber’s character. Despite being main superhero’s girlfriend, she didn’t feel generic, and that’s what makes Invincible so good for me: it’s aware of superhero tropes it can’t or chose not to avoid and executes them in a way that makes the characters ambiguous, in a way that makes me question the way I and fandoms categorise characters. Amber is flawed and that’s what makes her human. Writers took a risk to make things complicated, to make an imperfect woman of colour (please don’t say these don’t matter unless you understand racism and sexism can be subconscious), which you can say didn’t pay off, but I’m glad they took the risk, I enjoyed how it all turned out.

[sweetfirebird]

I have a messy rant about some historical docs that I needed to get out. It's incomplete and not well-written, but, yeah, I had to get it out of my head. So it's going behind a cut. Free free to ignore it.

It's amazing how many documentaries about notorious historical figures will do their best to avoid any thought or commentary about the systems these people lived in (and sometimes ruled over). They might do a passing mention of something terrible in the person's childhood or something. But it's only ever in passing and it's not even a guarantee that it will get mentioned at all. (Maybe it's the shitty documentaries and I need some better books on the subjects.)

And I am not excusing any of the things these people did if they did do them. It's just incredible to me, though I shouldn't be surprised because we don't even really do this now for our current notorious figures.

As one example, though, I've watched/listened to a lot of things about Richard III and not one has really gone into any depth about the warring all throughout his formative years or how that was pretty normal? for the ruling class of that time and place? His brother had his other brother executed (for reasons but nonetheless he did it). His brother also (more than likely) had the previous king murdered. This was the procedure. This is a system that encouraged this and allowed this--as long as you held the throne once you had it and gave your supporters their cash money and honors.

Is (allegedly) killing your tween nephews bad? Yeah obviously but it also... is the logical outcome of that system. It was as close to perfectly normal as a system that allows taking leadership of a country by force and bloodline can be. He just failed at holding the throne but he wasn't like... unusual.

But they don't want to talk about that because, I assume, it sort of reflects badly on the entire still going monarchy business. (And yeah yeah Tudor propaganda but I'm not talking about that right now. I'm talking about the lens with which we are examining these people now.) Probably no one wants to talk about that but my annoying nerdy ass, i know.

Or, okay. Let's say you have people accused of Bad Things ranging from general debauchery and reckless behavior to... possible devil worship... to serial killing with a frankly ridiculous number of victims. Or let's say you are discussing a few cases of "mad" kings. Or de Sade or someone like him. If you set aside the validity of many of the charges against these people (it's easy to accuse someone who is already behaving badly of behaving VERY badly in order to get what you want) and acknowledge the difficulty of diagnosing anyone hundreds or thousands of years later, you have... people being punished for being, like, too obviously the logical outcome of their time and place and then failing instead of succeeding. That's it. These monsters (to us) could only exist in those places. They are products of those places. But these specials never go into that. They just popped up out of nowhere! Amazing! A mystery!

Like, these people were just embarrassingly too much of the thing they were supposed to be and it was making the rest of those in their stations look bad, which set their peers against them and made them easy targets (for land grabs or whatever).

Or when they did succeed (while being horrible), the docs try to excuse it, and maybe this is why you get modern historians trying desperately to say that Henry VIII must have had a head injury or madness from syphilis to explain his behavior and not just....

he was never told no, guys. No one ever told him no. There was no way TO tell him no (if you wanted to keep your head). Henry is what happens when you do that. Henry is what happens when the world says women do not really have value outside of childbirth and fucking anyway. Henry is what happens when you say kings are divine--and he's also what happens when you come from a violent class and culture and you've recently had a long civil war that killed off most of the other possible claimants to the throne so there is no one to really oppose or stand up to you.

Or the slutty slutty drunken Earl of Rochester having no known childhood behavioral problems being carted off to school at thirteen and then suddenly becoming reckless and violent and lecherous? I wonder if the set up for abuse of all kinds at those schools had anything to do with that, and then also the general world for noble men of that time which allowed them to do whatever they wanted, particularly with (lower class) women with little to no repercussions. hmm a mystery where he came from.

He's not actually that unusual, he just wrote slutty slutty poems about it so he gets remembered. There were tons of dudes like him who probably did worse. They just also did enough of the things they were supposed to do that no one cared about the rest. He's not really an outlier. He is representative of the time and place.

These are ruling class people, and it's Europe, so there is also the Church to consider in all of these things, like, intricately tied up with the misogyny and classism and everything else is the Church. It is also a thing with beliefs that these docs do not want to get into. And I'm not going to go into it either right now. It's just a pattern I've noticed and it's irking me.

Heroes and horrors are created by their times. I mean... no. NO. I'm going to stop there before this gets any longer or more rambly. They still do this now, I know. But I guess I expect historians to have the distance to really look.

But as I said, maybe I just need to watch better docs.

... You can see now where Larin came from though, I bet.

[hedicate]

Honestly I'm just going to leave this here because I know I'll literally never touch this app again after I delete it

I'm just going to drop the biggest rant I've ever dropped in my entire life right here right now cuz I'm not about to go out of my way to rant to someone I know doesn't care about me anymore and has already seemingly moved on with his life

You were not ready for a relationship and your behavior proved that to me, and so did deep thought and realization. Between the comparing my behavior to your exes all the way to hurting me to my core because of your outlashes on me. It was all too much for me and I hope to god you can heal from the things people have put you through before you put someone through the same thing you put me through. Does that make sense? I don't know.

I felt like after everything I did, all of the sacrifices I made it wasn't ever good enough for you. I felt like an animal in a cage being poked at by you and your friends, that no matter what I did to show you how much I love you and how much you could trust me, I will always be seen as the dirt under your shoe.

And when you were comfortable, this is when our 70%/30% effort problem began to happen. That's not being "comfortable", that's an unhealthy way of saying "alright guys! I don't want to participate anymore because I know he's just going to stay with me in the long run!"

If that's just "the way you are", I'm sorry but that's not a valid excuse for the way you treated me.

Things began to click for me after you told me, after five whole months, you haven't told me anything about yourself other than your trauma, I felt like I was talking to a complete and total stranger. Like I just told you everything about me, and you gave me a part of you that isn't even happening at this moment and you left it with me. Is that all you wanted? You wanted a place to dump your past off and leave it there?

The real cherry on top was you letting your ex REALLY affect the way you thought about me, letting him tell me off and disrespect me when you KNOW your own morals. I felt like I was in stocks, I felt like people were throwing tomatoes at me and laughing.

It's ALWAYS been me getting the backlash from you, and Mya, and Evan and everyone. You preach and preach on how it's both sides but I know you'll continue to validate your behavior and talk about me like I'm some sort of lesson to your friends, and not even the good kind. I know you enough to make something negative out of me because that's all you do, that's all you'll ever see me as.

That's not you piecing anything together in your head, that's not your automatic reaction. You'd repeat things over and over again because you ACTUALLY believed it, you were just too afraid to admit it to me because let me guess.. You were scared of me?

I sometimes wonder if we would've still been together if you hadn't let Evan come back, and the answer is no. That may be the only thing I'm thankful for, is for him making me realize that I could never be good enough for you no matter how much blood, sweat and tears I put into you. The fact that you could talk about him the way you spoke about me is heartbreaking and it says absolutely everything to me that needed to be said.

I hope you end up happy with Evan because we all know that you never even stopped loving him, you talk about him in ways that I've never seen you talk about anyone before including me. You act like I never loved you for you even though you never gave me the opportunity to, and you idolize him after I leave. You say you could never find the words to express your "love for me" but you seemed to find them perfectly for him and that makes everything crystal clear to me. YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HIM, stop being in denial.

The COUNTLESS nights I've sobbed in my mother's arms, in my best friends arms over you because of the way you treated me. You made me feel worse about myself for even simply existing.

I admit I made mistakes in our relationship, plenty to count, but I always tried to fix my wrongdoing, even when I knew nothing would've changed the way you saw me.

I don't wish any ill will towards you or your friends, but you're dead to me. We are and never will be friends or acquaintances ever again and I won't ever reach out to you.

@notverytexanytexan

[sirani-8927]

Okay so I have a lot of explaining to do about why this came to me in my (personal) rewrite/redesign of Nathaniel but run with me now.

I gave Nathaniel really strong eyes that allow him to see a lot of things really well, mainly based off of my rewatch of Rogercop where he was literally nowhere near the bracelet but still sketched every detail accurately. Anyways, I decided, "oh he can see through the Miraculous Glamour," and have been thinking of him being the Unofficial Sidekick/Therapist of every holder because he makes a point to tell Marinette and Adrien that he knows its them.

Edit, 10/8/23: This is now an OC named Jonathan. This happens to me a lot where my headcanons get out of control. You can keep reading for an au if you want, though. I'm not gonna edit this. I think it's a little cute as an au

He tells Adrien, who does not care how. He's just excited to finally tell someone everything and complains about being a model and his father's behavior. I can imagine Nathaniel going, "My parents would love having you around for dinner" offhandedly and literally that night Chat Noir showing up with flowers and Nathaniel's siblings freaking out over a superhero standing in their living room. Adrien coming to Nathaniel's house when he has nightmares of being Chat Blanc that feel a bit too real. Nath being convinced by Adrien to wear the miraculous and Adrien complimenting his cool costume and fashion. Nathaniel was freaked out the whole time that he'd have to be Chat Noir for a fight and dropped the magic so quick.

He tells Marinette, and she immediately gets scared and spirals. He has to sit her down and explain that he can just see through the magic. She asks him to make up an excuse for her to skip out on classes and advice on how to be a superhero because he's more into the genre than she is. She tells him about Chat Blanc when she gets her first nightmare over it. She begs Nath before Hack San to tell Chat Noir for her that she had to leave and basically asking him tons of favors like babysitting for her if there's an akuma. Nathaniel being the only one to help collect miraculous because there's no way he wouldn't know who's who.

I only just had the thought of his dynamic with, say, Argos, or Queen Bee if she didn't reveal herself.

He still tells Queen Bee (maybe it's a redemption arc or something) that he knows and she shows up at his house, bragging about how she saved some guy from a mugger, wanting praise and validation and he goes, "you called me a cherry colored bitch today. That immediately negates the good you did."

Or, say she doesn't help Ladybug and Chat during akumas because they're on bad terms, and he's been trying to convince her to do the bare minimum and help civilians or something. Slowly, they start getting into fights more. Maybe she goes too far, and he outsmarts her, steals the miraculous, and gives it back to LB. Then Chloe and Nath start butting heads and arguing often in class a lot, but they can't say why, so it's never resolved properly. But Adrien and Marinette have thoughts.

Imagine Argos bursts in and starts gushing about Kagami and all the shit he learned about her and how cute she is because he doesn't have friends to talk about this with and decided, "well, he knows who I am already so," and Nathaniel is just thinking the entire time, "isn't he the bitch that pretended to be Adrien and got three people akumatized?"

Or he picks up the slack for the Ladyblog when Alya gets the fox full time even though they aren't friends in civilian form. He doesn't have an explanation to anyone why he's doing that, so he just runs away because he's not very good at this whole sidekick thing.

Nathaniel slapping Nino when he tries to reveal Alya's identity. Imagine Rocketear doesn't even happen because Adrien, being surrounded by his very best friend, counters Nino's reveal with his own reveal.

That part in Kuro Neko where Marinette freaks out over Chat Noir leaving? That entire episode Nathaniel is just exhausted. He's talking to Adrien about his decision. He's telling Marinette why he doesn't want the miraculous back. He's having to travel to each person's house to collect the Miraculous. Marinette might ask him to replace Chat Noir, so now he's gotta go to Adrien's house AGAIN and manages to get that part rolling, hopefully.

Wishmaker Luka immediately asks for Nathaniel's address, barges into his house and collapses on the floor because "Oh my Kwami, it's a fucking Love Square". Ephemeral definitely happens differently because Marinette's plan is something she runs by both Luka and Nathaniel. She is immediately shut down by Nath because it's against his code to reveal someone else's identity without consent. Or maybe Nathaniel is there at the secondary pick-up point with Luka and Su Han realizing that he has to know more and tries to threaten Nath to tell him who CN is. Nath's like, "Good point, but I'm not telling you. Go ask him yourself, fucking loser," or some stupid shit. My point is that Ephemeral probably is different or doesn't happen.

The dynamics are just funny to me cause Nathaniel is actually really tight-lipped about everyone's identity, and it doesn't matter who the person is to him. He'll keep it a secret. The only person he would reveal in a heartbeat is Hawkmoth, but he's never met him in person, and that's why Hawkmoth hasn't been jumped yet.

Actually, that weird KND scene with Nathaniel with the mustard gun would probably make him short-circuit, and it'd take him like a week to tell Adrien that that's his dad. Queue the series ending with Gabriel getting curbed stomped Owl House style by super-powered 15 year Olds.

Evillustrator would have to go differently though, either it just doesn't happen, or Nath just wasn't thinking about either of them, so Hawkmoth doesn't realize he knows, or Nathaniel is particularly unlucky during this episode. Either way, Hawkmoth is none the wiser.

[maximotts]

Omg pls do “it’s hard to be close to you and not kiss you” from the prompt list for Leigh!!!

the way I fell in love with this prompt as soon as you sent it oof thank you

❛ hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you. ❜ + Leigh Shaw; very light angst, if any... mostly just fluff

883 words

f. scott fitzgerald prompts

“Everyone has treated me like I have the plague, I just don’t get it!” Leigh had come over late that night, cashing in on the open door policy you reserved for her alone. You’d started it shortly after Matt died, knowing Leigh was too proud to ask outright for help; instead you offered her a key with your condolences, the only copy of your front door you owned. For as long as you’d known her, she’d never looked so lost and if she let you be a shoulder to lean on whenever she wanted to shake and cry or simply sleep in a house with another living being, you’d be there for her.

At first there were a lot of nights centering around Matt, how much she missed him, how confused she was, any worrisome thought about her husband that ran through her head. Now, a year later, Leigh was moving on as best she could and part of that included being back in the dating world. You were happy for her, having watched her grow from rock bottom to a woman who could wake up some mornings with a smile; it was what she deserved. Still, it’d made these last few months personally torturous for you. “Is there something wrong with me? Be honest.”

“Leigh…” With dating came watching Leigh move through men, not a lot, but noticeable enough to give her new insecurities. Insecurities you had to quell as she brought them up and again, you didn’t mind boosting her ego and granting her that extra bit of validation she needed to go ask some guy she was into out on a date. The trouble was your feelings for the woman.

When you met Leigh, she was already a married woman, her husband a new visitor to the cafe you managed. The first time he brought her in, you felt your heart race, but as soon as you saw her hands grab his, your small crush was drowned out. Of course, you didn’t wish either of them any fallout, but Leigh quickly became your favorite customer. You’d take over her order from any of the baristas working, always making some excuse or another to talk to her more. When your friendship developed beyond seeing her in your workplace, your other friends teased you for harboring affections for a woman you could never have. 

It didn’t stop you from dating other women, but still whenever you saw her you were in awe. Matt’s death shook everyone to their core, especially Leigh, and you were there for her well-being genuinely so when she started dating again, you were shocked. Possibilities you’d stamped down, sprung up like wildflowers, your heart gnawing at you to just ask her if only to see what she’d say. But you couldn’t do that to her. She couldn’t handle losing such a close friend, one of the only people she confided in, over your impossible crush. If she said no, you’d have ruined everything. 

Nights like these, where she asked you these questions, made you want to risk it all. “Nothing is wrong with you, Leigh. You just haven’t found the right person to accept you for who you are yet. If being a young widow is that bothersome to them, that’s on them. Not you. You’re wonderful.” You hadn’t realized you were holding her hand until you saw her eyes drop to where they were entwined on her lap and you would’ve backtracked if you’d missed the hint of a blush on her cheeks, just barely highlighted by the low lamp light of your bedroom.

“Damn, tell me how you really feel.” Leigh had said it jokingly, but her tone gave away how touched she was by your words, her thumb rubbing over the back of your hand so gently you nearly whimpered. The ensuing silence left your brain alone to run wild, a myriad of options screaming for dominance. Yet again you toyed with the truth you’d been keeping from her, hoping if you told Leigh she at least wouldn’t turn away from your friendship completely. 

“I feel…” In the end, it was the hesitant way she bit her lip that made you speak up, hoping to break the standstill. “It’s hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you.” The statement was blunt, bold and daring, everything you weren’t, but if you didn’t say it now, you didn’t know when you would again. 

The few seconds waiting for Leigh to respond were the longest you’d suffered in her life, every shift in her expression from confusion to shock to the smallest curve of a smile at her lips tugging and twisting at your soul. She was leaning in before you’d even processed that she wasn’t standing up to leave, invading your space carefully. Soft lips pressed against yours as a test, pecking the corners of your mouth a few times to rouse you from your fear. The second time Leigh kissed you, you kissed back, nothing deep, but full of sincerity and when she pulled away, you pouted while she laughed. “You made me go out on all of those dates before telling me you felt the same way. Now you come over here and kiss me. Show me how you feel.”

[ateez-amanda]

Fashion Advice

Time: July 2020

Summary: Amanda seeks fashion advice from her fashion guru on her but ends up getting more than she bargains for

Disclaimers: italic words is past convo. mentions a curse word and briefly the pandemic

a/n: this hongjoong gif is such a blessing 🤧 he is also the best captain. hope you guys like it. let me know what you think.

Masterlist

taglist: @skzfairies, @3nhyp3nn [send an ask if you want to be on/off the taglist! :) ]

Amanda pressed a shirt against her chest, thoughtfully examining her reflection in the mirror, “No.” She irked, throwing it back in her closet. She continued her search through the countless amount of hangers in her closet to test out when she heard her phone ding.

Hannie😇: just finished filming. i’m on my way over to your dorm now. see you in a bit😁

“Oh. I forgot to tell you. I tried that one place you recommended me the other day.” She said through the video call as she scanned through her puzzle pieces scattered along her table.

Jeonghan slightly glanced up, breaking his concentration on his giant car lego he had been building, “Which one?”  

“Nook Palace.” A small ‘ah’ came from him before she continued, “I suggested it as takeout for dinner with my members and you were right. The meat was amazing. It just melts in your mouth.” 

“I told you, you would like it. I only know fine quality places.” His response earned a sneaky eye roll and a little smile, that didn’t escape his vision, from her. 

“Okayy.” Sarcasm hinted in her tone, making Jeonghan grin. “The boys loved it too. I was highly praised for the recommendation and I think it’s going to become a regular takeout place for us now. So I guess I should thank you.” 

“You have to treat me out as thank you then. How about we meet up?” He mustered up his most non pressuring tone with a nonchalant attitude to mask it.

That definitely got her full attention. 

“What?” She miserably failed at concealing her flusterness.

“Let's meet up.” He said more confidently after seeing her reaction. “We haven’t seen each other in person for months. I mean I know it's because we both been busy and the pandemic kind of put a damper on things. But it's not as bad now and I know this really nice secluded park nearby so we won’t get caught by anyone.” He continued to list strong points making it difficult for her to argue back. Unbeknownst to him, she was already going to say yes. But it’s not often she gets to see him struggle and she wanted to see what excuses he could come up with. “Plus I gave away one of my favorite top secret places to you.”

She giggled, “You have made some valid points. Okay.”

“Wait.” She began to recall that the filming site he mentioned was about 30 minutes from here and she hadn’t even chosen an outfit yet, “Shit.”

Fed up and in dire need of help, she snatched the hangers of the outfits she had spent ages contemplating on and sprinted down the hallway of the dorm to the living room where ateez’s captain had been taking refuge. 

She bursted in with the stack of clothes covering her face, yelling, “Hongjoong oppa!!” 

 “What happened?” The older boy jolted up from his spot on the couch, panic filled his face. It was very rare to hear her voice raised like that unless there was trouble usually from one of his younger members. But when Amanda dropped the heap of clothing next to his spot on the couch, he knew it wasn’t one of those situations.

 “Oppa!” A suspiciously innocent smile appeared across her lips.

He raised an eyebrow, “That sounds a lot like your 'I need a favor' tone.”

“What? I just thought you need to take a break.” She shuts his laptop and moves it away from him. Although there was some truth to it since she knows he’s been working nonstop for the past 5 hours, her innocent act didn’t budge his skepticism. She let out a defeated huff and rolled her eyes, “Fine, you’re right. I’m desperately in need of a favor from you. Happy?”

A satisfied smile spread across his face, “Happy. What’s up?” 

“I’m supposed to go to the park with someone in a half an hour and I can’t figure out what to wear.” She kept it as vague as possible.

“Someone? Jeonghan Sunbaenim? Is it another date?” He began to interrogate her. 

Her eyes widened, “How do you know about Jeonghan?” 

Once the 99z line learned about her set up with Jeonghan, it didn’t take long for the word to spread to their captain’s ears. Finally realizing it was one of them, she angrily grumbled “Which one of those idiots blabbed?”

“Jeonghan? No more sunbaenim now?” He casually diverted the topic.

“You didn’t answer my question.” She retorted back, not falling for his trick.

“Neither did you.” The two stared down at each other waiting for the other to break. 

“Yeosang.” Their leader ratted out his younger teammate. 9 does not make 1 team

“I knew it. It’s always him. He always acts like he’s innocent.” Amanda muttered the last part.

Hongjoong chuckled, “I could say the same about you.”

“What do you mean? I am innocent.” She feigned a hurt expression, earning another snickered from him. “And I just like to make it clear, that I still refuse to count that as a date since….SOMEONE SET ME UP WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE!” she loudly yelled to ensure the ‘certain someone’ could hear from his room across the hall. 

She is clearly not holding a grudge anymore.

“YOU'RE WELCOME!” Wooyoung’s voice echoed, triggering a frustrated tsk to escape her lips. 

Although she preferred if none of her members knew of it, right now she was grateful to her members' loose lips. But more importantly, it was one of those days where Hongjoong had chosen to stay home to work rather than at the studio.

“Anyways...” Returning her attention back onto her leader with a smile attempting to mask her annoyance, “This isn’t a date. We are just hanging out…at least I think.” She murmured the last part.

Not escaping Hongjoong’s fine hearing, his brows scrunch together, “You think?”

“It wasn’t exactly defined as a date. That’s why I need your help picking out an outfit. It will be embarrassing if I dress up too nicely and it’s not a date. So I’m trying to go for an outfit that says ‘I tried but not too much but enough to show that I care but again not too much’. Make sense?”

“Sure.” He amusedly agreed at her ramble even though he had no clue what she meant. 

As she endlessly babbled on while presenting her outfit ideas, he couldn’t help but find it interesting to see the girl who never cared about her fashion take it so seriously now. 

Yet something kept poking in the back of his mind. She has a tough shell that she used to try to showcase her maturity, but Hongjoong knew underneath that tough exterior she was actually very innocent on the inside. Especially when it comes to dating. She never kept it a secret from the boys that she never dated anyone before. 

“Aera-ah.” 

Her excitement instantly vanishes upon hearing her Korean name that rarely comes out of his mouth, “Oh no, that sounds a lot like your scolding tone.” 

“I’m not scolding you.”

There was a little sense of relief, but the uneasiness didn’t quite settle in her yet, “Then?”

“What exactly is going on between you two?”

“I’ll let you know once I know.” She answered honestly. The label between the two had always been hazy. Neither of them had ever spoken out about what was going on between them. “We have never talked about what kind of relationship we have after the blind date.” 

“You should ask him.”

“That’s easier said than done.” She let out a sigh, joining him on the couch. 

“Do you want to try to elaborate on that some more?” 

“Not really.” She mumbled fidgeting with the clothes in her hand. Hongjoong patiently waited knowing she needed to get whatever was bothering her off her chest. 

She sighed, “When we were set up on that blind date, I thought he did like me but I figured that it was just surface level. We both didn’t really know each other personally. Only as idols. You know?” She glanced over at him where she received a small nod from him, “I guess now that we spent so much time together talking on the phone and stuff, he’s gotten to know me better. You know, the regular everyday girl. He might not like me like that anymore. He might just see me as a friend.”

“You don’t know until you ask him. He might actually like you.” 

“And if he doesn't, it could ruin our newly established friendship.” Her pessimistic side reared its ugly head. 

If she was honest with herself, part of her mind believes he does like her. But the logical part of her mind, the one that always wins in her overthinking mind, can’t tell if the things he says and the way he acts with her is because he likes her, likes her or just sees her as a friend. 

“It’s better to ask now so you know whether you should continue with your feelings or end it before you get too deep and you end up hurt. Don’t waste your time hesitating. You didn’t become an idol from hesitating right?”

“Actually there was a lot of hesitation.” Her comeback earned an eye roll from him. She chortled, “I know you're right, but it’s too late. I think I’m already too deep into this.” 

“So do you like him as the normal everyday guy?” Although it was pretty clear what the answer was, he wanted to hear the confirmation from her mouth personally. 

“Yeah, I think I do.” A little tender smile spread across her face before it faded away and replaced with a sadden look. She let out an annoyed groan, slouching her back onto the back of the couch. “Gosh why is liking someone so freakin complicated?” 

“I’ll let you know once I know.” Hongjoong followed her, both peered at the top of the ceiling.

She never understood when her friends complained about their dating lives to her. There was always a simple solution when she heard their problems, but now that she is in their shoes, it’s becoming a little more clear.

“So you don’t care if I do date Jeonghan?” She suddenly asked, seeking his permission.

“Yeah. You’re an adult. Besides, it's not like we have a dating ban.”

“That’s true, but it does affect all of us if the public finds out.”

“Amanda, don’t worry about us. It’s okay to focus on yourself. If being in a relationship with him makes you happy then do it. You deserve to be happy.”

“Of course I do.” Amanda confidently replied, attempting to lighten up the somber atmosphere that was making her uncomfortable, “And even if you said no, I still would.”

“Of course you would.” He joked back, joining in on the laughing. 

“Okay!” He clapped his hands, lifting his body up from the bed. He carefully scanned through the pile of clothes scattered around on the couch, “You said you were going to the park?” She nodded. “And you want something that says ‘you tried but not too much but enough to show that you care but again not too much’, correct?”

Her soft giggle echoed throughout the room. After hearing it from someone else it did sound a tad bit ridiculous, “Correct. It makes sense right?”

“It's the only thing that makes sense lately.” He played along, “And you don’t have any idea what you guys are going to be doing?”

“Not a clue. I know I probably should have asked but I was too stunned by him asking to hang out.”

He smiled at her comment before grabbing the hanger of a sage colored short sleeved puff ruched crop top and held it up near her figure, “If it’s the park, then wear this. This color compliments your skin tone the best. And…” He handed that to her as his eyes browsed over the pant selection sprawled over his bed before snatching a high waist light blue jean shorts “these shorts. You also need a jacket that is chic but also helps cover you from being seen by people, I think a light cardigan should work.”

“Which one? I have a lot.” 

“The white one with the little hoodie.”

“Oh that would look good with this.” She agreed, eyeing her outfit with much fascination.

“Do you know what shoes you want to wear?”

“I don’t know if I should wear sneakers or sandals. I want to wear sneakers in case we walk around a lot but I feel like sandals would look better.”

“Not technically. Both would look fine. I think sneakers would look more stylish though. Do you still have those white high top converse?” She hummed. “Then that should be fine.”

“This is perfect! Thank you oppa!” She beamed, holding up her newly fashionable outfit, “What would I do without you?”

“You would be a fashion terrorist.” 

“I’m not that bad. At least I didn’t wear an outfit that made me look like Winnie the Pooh.” She jabbed at their member Yeosang dance practice outfit earlier this year. The leader couldn’t refute that. Amanda checks her phone, “I gotta go. I only got 15 minutes and I got to put on some makeup. Thank you again oppa!”

Before she could even hear his reply, she had already dashed back to her room to finish getting ready for her ‘hangout’? ‘Date’?  Well whatever it is she will find out soon.

© ateez-amanda — all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, or repost my work.

[yourfavewriteress]

about that work crush (chapter 8) | jamie benn

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 | chapter 6 | chapter 7

Teaser: “The door’s locked, isn’t it?”

Things with Jamie were good, almost too good. In the short time that you had known him, he quickly became your best friend, seeing as it was hard for you guys not to spend time together. And, your jobs had a lot to do with that. 

Aside from your walks to your cars at the end of work days, Jamie made it very clear he enjoyed popping in on your lunches to get some alone time with you. There was something about quality daytime together that you both enjoyed. Hanging out at each other’s places after work was nice, but you both were tired after your long days. Lunches allowed you two to really goof off together.  

Today was one of the rare occurrences that gave Jamie the day off while you were still stuck in your office. He surprised you by coming in, using the excuse that he wanted to use the gym equipment at the arena.

“I can do one.”

“Mhm, sure,” Jamie laughed, taking another forkful of your food.  

“Why don’t you believe me?” You narrowed your eyes at him, standing up.

“If you say you can, then you can,” He said, shrugging but you could tell he still didn’t believe you. Leaning back in his seat with a smirk, “What, you’re gonna do a cartwheel right now?”

You moved over to lock the office door, nodding. “Yes, I’m going to prove to you that I can.”

“Don’t hurt yourself, babe.”

You rolled your eyes at him, sliding your heels off. “I won’t. I knew I wore pants for a reason today.”

As you made sure you had enough room by moving your couch, Jamie’s eyes trailed over your figure. Even though he saw you basically every day at this point, he still couldn’t believe how beautiful you were. From head to toe, you were perfect to him and he couldn’t tell you any more than he already did. In his past relationships, he knew he could have shown his appreciation more. He knew he should have given more compliments, and shown how he truly felt. But, was there a reason why he didn’t feel the need to in the first place?

When he was with you, he didn’t even have to think about it. He showered you in affection and compliments because he wanted to. It was second nature. And, the blush that sometimes reached your ears (depending on how much he was saying) was a nice plus.

“I’m worried,” He finally said once you looked back at him. “I don’t know if I should get up just in case I need to keep you from going head first into something.”

“Why don’t you believe me?” You asked again, crossing your arms over your chest.

“To be fair, you can’t even skate,” He joked. At this point, he knew deep down that you could do a cartwheel, but a little teasing every now and then didn’t hurt.

“That isn’t even a valid argument! I didn’t grow up around hockey like you, Captain,” You rolled your eyes. “Everyone grows up around cartwheels.”

“Is it bad that I really like it when you call me that?” He asked, pushing back the chair and standing up.

“Yes, now sit down so I can do this cartwheel and prove you wrong.”

“Baby, I’m sure you can do a cartwheel, I was only kidding,” He laughed. 

“Nope, sit.” 

He groaned playfully, before sitting back down in front of your desk. You moved closer to the door before successfully doing a cartwheel. Jamie clapped once you were back upright.

“Beautiful, I’ve never seen a cartwheel so graceful,” He continued to tease you.

“You’re annoying,” You huffed, playfully.  After you moved your couch back in place, Jamie watched as you slid your heels back on. You could feel his eyes on you this time, and you looked over at him.

“Yes, Jamie?” You laughed, switching to put on your other heel. 

“Just admiring the view,” He smirked. Once again, you were blushing but you blamed that on the fact that your head was down. Once you were standing straight again, you shook your head at him with a laugh.

“Stop it.”

His smirk softened as you started to walk towards your chair. Like you expected, Jamie reached out his hand on your way by, pulling you towards him instead. You bumped into the chair, legs folding to place you directly in Jamie’s lap which was definitely his plan all along

“Jamie,” You warned, your arms still moving to wrap around his neck. 

“The door’s locked, isn’t it?” He asked. “And, I don’t remember the last time someone bothered us at lunch.”

“Are you sure about that?” You raised your eyebrows at him.

“I’m sure that I want to kiss you, and the door’s locked,” His eyes moved to your lips, before your eyes again. “And, I’m also sure you want to kiss me.”

He tightened his grip around your back, pulling you closer with a smile.

“I don’t remember saying that,” You raised your eyebrows. 

Jamie rolled his eyes, “You don’t have to.”

“You’re such a troublemaker,” You laughed. He leaned in, pressing his lips against yours gently.

“Your fault,” He hummed. You moved your lips against his slowly, sliding your hands into his hair which he had been growing out for the past few months.

“Did I tell you that I’m coming on your next roadie?” You pulled back a few moments later.

“No,” Jamie smiled. “Are you?”

“I am,” You nodded. “I’ll have my own room.”

“Can I crash?” He teased, making you laugh. 

“Of course,” Your phone started to ring on your desk, and you sighed, looking at the time. “My phone line’s open now, time’s up.”

Before you could get up, Jamie leaned in to peck your lips, twice for good measure. You smiled at him as he released you to let you get back to work. You picked up the phone, “Hi, this is Y/N.”

He grinned at you as he stood to collect his things. By the time he was finished, you had managed to get the person on a brief hold.

“I’ll see you tonight?” You asked. “I have that meeting across town before the end of the day.”

“I’m working out with Joe and Tyler so I’ll come over once I’m done,” He said, before leaning over your desk to press his lips against yours again. “Don’t work too hard.”

You smiled, “See you later, Jame.”

“Text me when you finish so I know I can head over.”

The roadie came and went. And you were all back for a 3-game run at the arena in Dallas. Since the guys had done well on the road and the handful of games after, the morale was pretty high amongst the locker room.

You continued working around the clock, having sessions with the guys back-to-back. This meant that after awhile, you had less time for Jamie during the workday, and he began working a lot more in the gym with Tyler when he could.

“It just gets harder to be around her at this point.”

“Why?” Tyler furrowed his eyebrows at his teammate and best friend.

“Man, we’ve been together for 4 months and haven’t had sex yet. It’s not a big deal and I’m not rushing her, but physically, it’s hard to handle.”

“Have you asked her about it?”

“No, I just want to make sure she’s comfortable and that we’re going at a good pace for her.”

“But, what about you?”

“As much as I hate it, I can survive,” Jamie laughed. “Like last night, we were watching a movie and I swear she wasn’t doing anything but I just looked at her and I got hard. She’s fucking hot, man, I can’t help it.”

“That’s what you get for dating out of your league. She’s definitely too hot for you,” Tyler laughed.

“Shut up,” Jamie rolled his eyes. “And you better not say anything to anyone about this. Not a single soul.”

“Who would I tell?”

“I don’t know, maybe the team? And, don’t think I haven’t noticed you two are pretty tight. If you say something to her, I will kick your ass.”

“I won’t, jeesh,” He sighed. “What are you gonna do?”

“There are times where I get this vibe that she’s into it and she might want to go forward. But, then I feel like she’s stops herself, which I hate because at this point, the tension is getting out of control.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dude, when I tell you that everything she does turns me on, I’m not even joking. The way she talks, definitely the way she walks. I can’t even talk about what happens when she touches me.”

“My ears are bleeding right now,” Tyler shook his head in disgust. “I think you should bring it up. You guys are adults and in a committed relationship so it wouldn’t hurt.”

“No, I’m gonna wait.”

“Can you, though?”

“I’m going to have to regardless. Whatever we do has to be a mutual decision.”

“No disrespect, but I don’t know how you’ve been holding out for so long. She’s pretty hot.”

“Cold showers,” Jamie responded. Tyler laughed. “And, we actually really get along so most of the time we’re just hanging out.”

“Do you guys kiss though? Make out? I’ve seen you jump away from each other if I ever walk in.”

“We do, and I’m usually the one that pulls away because I can’t handle it.”

“What if she doesn’t want you to pull away?” Tyler raised his eyebrows at Jamie.

“I don’t know, man.”

“You don’t think she has any idea what’s going on?”

“I mean, I’m doing my best to hide it,” Jamie started. “I’m not gonna rush her just because I can’t stop drooling.”

“What about when she touches you? Which I assume is all the time since you guys are in a relationship. I see you guys all over each other all the time.”

“I force myself to think about anything other than her. It’s not like she touches me, touches me. She’ll like hold my hand, or my arm but because I’m already horny 90% of the time, that just gets me started.”

“I love seeing you suffer,” Tyler joked.

“Fuck you.”

[watchmegetobsessed]

Never Have I Ever - Harry Styles (part 2)

i quite liked this story and thought it totally had potential for more, so i’ve cooked up a part 2, continuing the idea. i have no clear plan with this, just enjoyed taking the story further, but i might turn it into a proper series if you guys are enjoying the concept!

pairing:  Harry x actress!reader

word count: ~3.2k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

The car comes to a halt and you look up from your phone after being so occupied with texts you’ve been ignoring all afternoon.

“We’ve arrived, Miss,” The driver, Lawrence informs you in his usual, polite manner, looking at you through the mirror.

“Oh, thank you so much,” you breathe out grabbing your purse from the seat next to you. “I don’t think I’ll take too long, I’m not really in the mood to party,” you let him know, quickly running your hand through your hair before getting out, already knowing paparazzi is waiting for all guests at the entrance probably.

“Had a long day?” he asks with a soft smile.

“Kind of,” you sigh nodding. “I’ll text you when I’ll feel like heading home soon, alright?”

“Perfect. Have a great night, Miss,” Lawrence nods.

“Thank you,” you nod at him before opening the door and getting out of the car. Strategically, Lawrence stopped just a few buildings away from the club, so you wouldn’t be attacked right away, emerging from the car. This gives you enough time to fix your dress and avoid your private parts to end up on the tabloids. Not something you want to include in your career, if you’re being honest.

Shutting the door closed you head towards the club that has quite a long line of people waiting outside, though you have no idea why. If they are not on the list, there’s no way they’ll get inside, it’s a private party.

As you approach the entrance, people start to recognize you quite quickly and you hear your name coming from all direction, but you just flash a smile in their way, continuing to walk with the intention of getting inside as fast as possible.

Just as you expected, paparazzi are already waiting at the entrance and they start flashing their cameras in your way right away, throwing all kinds of questions at you that are left completely ignored.

The bouncer checks your name on the list and lets you inside without a fuss and you’re happy to leave the madness behind and mingle in the crowd of familiar faces.

Tonight is the celebration of the birthday of a good friend, a quite old friend of yours. Florence and you met quite some years ago, when both of you were only trying your luck in the industry, working hard to make yourselves a name. Now you are both are in the inner circle of Hollywood, piling iconic roles on your resumes together. So much has changed, people keep coming and going in your life, but the two of you managed to stay close and keep each other grounded when it was needed.

You keep saying hello to the people you know as you make your way through the guests, hugging a few guests, asking if they have seen Florence and they all point towards the bar. Unsurprisingly, you find the birthday girl right there, with a group of people circling around her as the bartender places a row of shots to the counter and her eyes light up at the sight of all the alcohol.

“Not even surprised you are already plastered,” you grin at her and she squeals upon seeing you join the little circle. Throwing her arms around you she jumps at you mumbling her greeting.

“I’m so happy you’re here!” she breathes out, clearly over a few drinks at this point. “I feel like we haven’t seen each other in ages!”

“It happens when we are both working on a movie at the same time, in different cities,” you chuckle giving her a look.

This past month has been rather busy, you were in Atlanta finishing up filming your latest movie while Florence was in Palm Springs, working on Don’t Worry Darling, she barely made it back to the city to her own birthday party, apparently they wrapped filming just two days ago so it was a close call.

“You have to take a shot with me!” she urges, already grabbing two shots from the bar and handing you one of them, not even waiting for your answer.

“Cheers to the birthday girl!” you hold your glass up after everyone else grabbed a shot, everyone around wishes her a happy birthday again before sending down the alcohol.

You can’t help the grimace that pulls on your face as the liquor burns down your throat. It’s been a while since the last time you had anything other than a few glasses of wine, it’ll take some time to get used to the stomach churning taste.

As the host of the party and the birthday girl, Florence’s presence is in high demand, so you don’t get to spend too much time with her, but you don’t blame her. Ordering a longer drink for you, sticking with some tequila based cocktail as you mingle in the crowd of guests.

Luckily, there are quite a lot familiar faces and you don’t have to linger around the club on your own. You move to a booth at the side with Sydney, a producer you and Florence both worked together previously. She is pretty new in the world of films, but she surely is a talent and you can’t wait for everyone to realize what a blessing she and her art is. You’re joined by her girlfriend, Emma and the three of you are deep in conversation, sharing the funniest stories that happened to you lately and surprisingly, you are genuinely having a good time. You really weren’t in the mood for a party after such a long and frustrating day, having scrunched in three auditions to one day because your manager messed the dates up. When you finished with the third ones, you wanted nothing else than to just sink into a nice bath, have a glass of wine and go to bed early, making your friends’ point of you being a grandma quite valid. However you didn’t have the heart to cancel on Florence, but now that you’ve had some alcohol buzzing in your system and some good company, you don’t regret coming at all.

Once you get to the end of your drink you head back to the bar to have another one, not feeling like leaving just yet. Pushing your way through the people, some keep saying hi to you and you greet everyone back with an instinct, even if you don’t know them. Something you’ve grown to do over your years being in the spotlight.

Standing in line, just like everyone else, you patiently wait to get to the front, when you feel someone bump against you from behind.

“Excuse me—Oh! If it isn’t my favorite Never Have I Ever game partner!”

Your eyes are met with a pair of green ones and a dimpled smile, you can’t help but chuckle as you turn to greet Harry.

“Hi there! Long time no see!” you smile as he pulls you into a side-hug and stands with you in the line.

“You know, maybe you would’ve seen me earlier if you actually gave me your number,” he comments with a sly smile and you have nothing to defend yourself with, he is completely right.

That day the two of you met on The Ellen Show you were actually planning to give him your number, but once your part of the filming ended your manager called you about something urgent and you couldn’t wait for him to finish as well, leaving the studio without ever giving him the chance to even ask for your number. You felt guilty and a little disappointed, but thought your paths would sooner or later cross somehow and it seems like you were right.

“I’m sorry about that. I had some papers to sign before the office closed, I had to leave,” you apologize truthfully and he nods understanding.

“S’alright. I was a little bummed, but I get it.”

“So what are you doing here?” you ask, moving forward in the line, getting closer to the front. Harry gives you a quick look that you can’t quite read before answering.

“I uhh—Florence and I filmed together last month.”

That’s when it clicks. She told you and you read about it, but you tend to forget these kind of things, not having enough capacity to keep everything in mind, only restricting it to the most important stuff.

“Oh, right! Yeah, sorry. Totally slipped my mind. Sorry, I sounded like I live under a rock,” you awkwardly chuckle, feeling a little ashamed that you didn’t remember, when Florence even mentioned it herself before she travelled to Palm Springs, but you were running on caffeine and protein bars between takes, it’s a luck you didn’t even forget your own name after those busy weeks.

“No, s’alright. Nice to know not everyone is drowning in the content that’s been put out of me lately,” he chuckles lowly. “You look lovely, by the way,” he nods at you, eyes running down your body quickly, before they return to your gaze.

“Oh, thank you,” you breathe out looking down at yourself, as if you forgot what you were wearing. It’s a little, black Gucci dress, quite vintage with some embroidered floral patterns along the slightly daring neckline. “It’s Gucci,” you tell him with a knowing smirk.

“Oh!”

“Know you are obsessed with it,” you add with a chuckle, seemingly surprising him with your knowledge about him.

“Someone did some research about me then?”

“I’ll admit, I might have searched your name one of those nights after I had a nice glass of wine.”

“And what else did you find out about me?” he arches an eyebrow at you, making your cheeks heating up. You shouldn’t have admitted that you searched him, he’ll think you’re some kind of stalker, which you are not, you just like to catch up on things sometimes. Though you are clearly a fan of his music and you know about his career vaguely, you haven’t been keeping an eye on him that closely lately, only because you didn’t have the time. However after meeting him at the taping, he was stuck on your mind for days before you gave in and checked out what he’s been up to lately and went through some in-depth articles about him from the past years, closing the line with his latest Vogue issue.

“Nothing shocking,” you simply answer and luckily, you are next up at the bar. You ask for another cocktail and Harry chimes in, adding a beer to the order.

“I hope you know I won’t let you leave until you give me your number this time,” he smirks at you cheekily, making you chuckle.

“I never said I would give it to you.” Wanting to play a little you shrug innocently, earning a stunned look.

“Making me work for it? Alright,” he nods, trying his best to hold his grin back.

The bartender comes back with the drinks and Harry is quick to whip his card out and pay for yours as well. You’re not surprised when he follows you back to the booth to Sydney and Emma. They both greet you with bright smiles upon arriving with Harry.

“This is Sydney and Emma. Syd and I worked together a while ago. Ladies, this is—“ You start the introduction, but Sydney cuts you off quickly.

“Harry Styles. You don’t have to introduce him to us,” she chuckles shaking hand with the fourth guest at the table. “I was a big One Direction fan,” she adds with a chuckle and that’s a new information. As a former fan girl, she is holding herself quite alright in the presence of her idol.

“Oh, nice!” Harry beams, genuinely looking delighted at the information.

“Her playlists have at least one One Direction song on them still this day,” Emma laughs shaking her head, while Syd just shrugs innocently.

The four of you are quick to engage in a conversation about music, mostly about what you listened to when you were teenagers and you are having some laughs at the odd taste you all used to have.

“I think my most played song was Crazy by Britney Spears. I was obsessed with that song,” you admit and Emma groans throwing her hands in the air.

“I loved that song! Even learned the choreography!” she shares, making everyone laugh around the table.

“I bet you did too,” Harry grins in your way over his half empty beer.

“Totally did not,” you scoff with a pretentious grimace that makes it clear that you in fact did.

“I would give an arm to see you dance to that song,” he sighs with an amused grin and you just chuckle, taking another sip from your drink.

At one point Florence joins the booth, buzzing from all the birthday shots she’s been constantly taking, but making sure you all are having a good time.

“I see you guys met again!” she beams looking at you and Harry sitting next to each other. “Y/N, wanna hear something funny?” she smirks at you with glistening eyes.

“Always,” you chuckle softly.

“Once on set, I caught Harry stalking your Instagram.” The man in talk almost chokes on his beer as Florence starts laughing, clearly enjoying how she just busted her co-star, but you are having a blast at how nervous her comment got him and you find the story quite flattering.

“Flo, I think you had enough to drink,” Harry tells her, urging her to leave the booth, but she is way too caught up in getting him into trouble.

“Are you ashamed she now knows you were checking out her sexy photos for that perfume campaign she did last year?” she continues, giving away even more details. Your eyebrows run up as you look at Harry, who is desperately trying to avoid your burning gaze.

“Oh, so you’re a fond of my pictures?” you tease him, his cheeks turning redder with each passing moment.

“I mean… You looked really good.”

“And quite half naked, only covering myself with a huge perfume bottle,” you add chuckling, enjoying it probably a little too much than you should, but Harry has been so confident, flirting with you, it’s funny to see him so flustered all of a sudden.

Harry lets out a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of his neck while Florence taps his shoulder, saying something that sounded like ‘good luck, man’ before she moves over to the next group of people.

“I wasn’t stalking, your profile just popped up and—“

“Harry,” you stop him with a chuckle. “It’s fine, I was just messing with you.”

“Way to make me a wreck, Y/N,” he shoots you a narrow-eyed look, but you can see the smirk pulling on his lips.

“If it makes you feel better I checked your profile a few times too,” you admit and once again, he seems surprised.

“It does make me feel better,” he nods, his sly smirk growing wider with each passing moment he spends staring at you.

Though you’ve been enjoying the night so far you are running low on energy, so when you see it’s already past midnight you send a text to Lawrence letting him know you are planning to leave soon.

Luckily, Florence is at one of the booths near yours, so you excuse yourself from your table, walking over to her to say your goodbye.

“Leaving already?” she pouts, returning your hug.

“I’ve had a long day, I wouldn’t want to be the grumpy guest to ruin others’ night,” you tell her with an apologetic smile and she nods understanding.

“I’m happy I saw you. We need to do something sometime soon!”

“Sure thing. I’ll have a looser schedule in the upcoming months. Call me whenever you are around and free,” you tell her kissing her cheek and giving her hand a soft squeeze. “Happy birthday once more.” “Thank you babe!” she cheers as you let go of each other.

Walking back to your booth you say goodbye to Sydney and Emma, making the same promise to meet up with them sometime soon. When you turn to Harry he is already up on his feet and offers to walk you out.

“Just to the exit. There are a shit ton of paparazzi outside,” you tell him and he nods, placing a hand to your lower back, ushering you through the crowd. The two of you stop near the exit since Lawrence hasn’t replied to you that he has arrived and you definitely don’t want to wait outside.

“So, are you gonna leave without giving me your number this time as well?” he asks tilting his head to the side as he hides his hands in his pockets lazily.

“Maybe I’m just trying to see if fate is gonna throw you in my way again,” you tease him, but reach for your phone in your purse. “Send yourself a text,” you tell him handing him the device.

He doesn’t try to hide the satisfied grin as he types his number in and sends a quick text to himself so he has your number. Handing it back you just take it and check if Lawrence has texted you. Right at that moment the screen lights up with a short ‘I’ve arrived, Miss’ text and you slide the phone back into your purse.

“Well, it’s been nice seeing you again, Harry,” you say your goodbye and stepping closer you engage in a short, but tight hug.

“You too, Y/N,” he smiles down at you. “Never have I ever had the number of an Emmy nominated actress’ number,” he smirks making you laugh.

“Drink up, Styles,” you tell him cheekily before you walk away, out of the club.

Lawrence is parked right in front of the building and you try to shield your vision from all the flashes as you get into the back seat as fast as possible.

“Hello, Lawrence!” you greet the man in a very delighted mood and he senses the change in you.

“Had a great evening, Miss?” he asks as he leaves from the club and heads to your apartment’s building.

“I did,” you nod biting into your bottom lip. Reaching into your purse you pull your phone out to check the text Harry sent himself.

You can’t help the chuckle that leaves your mouth when you see the short message he sent to his contact that he just saved under Harry S.

“I promise I won’t ghost you.” That’s what the text reads and as you are looking at the conversation you see the bubble popping up that signals that he is typing right now.

“So nice of you. Please keep that promise!” His text appears on the screen and you chuckle under your breath.

“Cheeky.” You write back.

“Maybe, but now I have evidence. Don’t even try to put me on your ghosted list!”

“Will think about it…” you write back with a sly smile before you lock the phone and put it away, letting your head rest against the back of the seat, eyes closing as you can’t wipe the smile off your face.

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[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[peachyyykid]

Deceivers Ch. 11 - Revenge

Word Count: 4089

Chapter 10 - Parting

Chapter 12 - Daytrip (nsfw)

Disclaimer! tw: y/n is having a panic attack

As someone who experienced panic attacks before, I realised that writing one invested me a lot emotionally. If a detailed description of a panic attack triggers you, you might want to skip that part. Also, everyone experiences them differently and coping mechanism differ as well. Just remember that all of these experiences are valid and that you are loved! :)

---

"Kid!"

You didn't question the urge to run into his arms, but you didn't expect him to catch you either. But he did, and as his non-metallic arm pulled you into his chest, you felt something you hadn't felt in a very long time: safety.

You clawed at his fur coat, muffling your sobs with the soft fabric.

"What did he do to you?", he whispered into your ear lowly, while his angry eyes never left Deku, who was scrambling around on the floor with his trousers undone.

"G-get off my ship, p-pirate scum", he stuttered, visibly scared of the huge pirate that just sent his door flying.

"I will", Kid snarled at him, "but you're joining us."

And with that he extended his metal arm by adding more and more random metal, grabbing Deku's throat. He tried to get away, but to no avail. Kid strengthened his grip and he let out a gargling sound, kicking his legs in the air.

The redhead spun Deku around and hurled him right through the empty doorframe towards his ship. Killer was waiting on the other side and knew exactly what to do. He caught the flying man (who was looking awfully pale) and slammed him down on the deck. You heard a faint scream in the distance, right after Deku's body hit the ship.

After making sure that Deku couldn't run away, Kid looked down at you, wiping away your tears with his rough fingers. He had let go of all the metal, but his eyes were still angry as he took in as much of your face as possible.

"Tell me what happened", he whispered in a commanding tone, and you sniffled before you spoke.

"W-we fought, and he said awful things to me, and then he tried to rape me and he... he had my parents killed. K-kid, he's responsible for all this. He killed my parents!"

You started sobbing desperately again and your knees felt weak. They gave in and you sunk towards the floor, but Kid picked you up. He pressed your trembling body against his and held you safely while he jumped aboard his own ship, the cold air cooling your tear-stained face.

Deku was trembling as well, but for different reasons. Killer was towering over him with his arms crossed and the rest of the crew was shooting him intense, blood-lusting glares. No one in this world would want to swap with him.

Kid landed and gently placed you on the deck. You slumped down to your knees immediately, staring into the distance with blurry eyes. The sun was setting already, painting the sky in beautiful red and orange hues. It would have been a wonderful start into a new life, but Deku took all that from you. Your body felt weak and lifeless, your arms hanging down your sides.

Kid kneeled down in front of your trembling frame and looked at Deku, who was sitting a few metres away from you. He was whimpering pathetically, looking for a possibility to flee, as if Killer would let him.

"Wire, take some men and ransack the ship. Then sink it", Kid commanded.

"Roger, Captain", Wire's calm voice answered, and he and most of the guys entered Deku's ship.

Then his face turned back to you. He gingerly took your jaw in his big hand and brushed your cheek with his thumb, just like he did in that one night.

"Look at me", his rough voice told you, and you obeyed.

Seeing your puffy eyes and your tear-stained face awakened something deep inside of him, and he wanted to destroy whatever was causing you this kind of pain. You looked at him like he was the only one who could make it all better, and he understood, his face absolutely serious.

"Angel. I want to hear it from you."

His amber eyes bored into yours. They were full of rage, but not because of you.

"Do you want me to kill him?"

Killing was wrong. No matter what kinds of horrible things someone had done, killing wasn't the answer. That's what a previous version of you would have said. But looking at Deku, you only saw a monster. A deceiving monster that had dared to take your life into his hands. You wanted to hurt him like he hurt you, he didn't deserve forgiveness.

Kid knew exactly that you couldn't do it yourself, so he had asked you if you wanted him to do it for you. And you really wanted it. There was not even a hint of compassion that you could spare for this man.

You looked at him, his eyes were pleading with you. Kid had asked you to make a decision. You could easily show mercy and say no. Deku mumbled apologies directed at you, rambling about how he shouldn't have overreacted and that he would treat you well as a mistress.

With empty eyes and the calmest expression on your face, you took in the satisfying sight of Deku shaking with fear.

"Yes."

It was merely a whisper, but everyone on the ship was silent. The only sound to be heard was Deku's pathetic whimpering. You didn't take your eyes off him, not even when Kid stood up slowly, revealing his full height again. The setting sun stretched his shadow, and it swallowed Deku's body whole.

Kid slipped off his coat and put it over your sunken shoulders without saying a word.

His shadow was coming closer to Deku with every heavy step he took, and he anxiously scrambled away from him, only to bump into Killer's legs. He was cornered between the two men, and he yelped in fear when Kid took the shiny knife out of his bandolier.

The knife fell, and Deku probably thought that Kid had dropped it by accident, because his eyes widened, and he opened his mouth when the knife didn't hit the ground. It hovered under his chin instead, the blade forcing him to look up at Kid.

"W-what kind of magic is that?", Deku screeched.

"It's a devil's fruit you moron", Killer mumbled and shook his head in dismay.

"I'm just making sure that you know who's the boss around here", Kid growled and pushed the blade a little further into Deku's skin, drawing a thin line of blood.

"I really wonder what she saw in you", he scoffed.

"P-please I will do anything... y-you can have the 15 million b-berry! You can have e-everything, just let me live!", Deku pleaded, trying to grab Kid's trousers. He looked up at him with doe eyes, in a futile attempt to gain his pity.

Kid bared his teeth and kicked off Deku's hands as if his futility was contagious, while an array of swords gathered behind his tall figure. They hovered in the air, framing Kid to make him look even more dangerous.

"You're not even worth listening to. Just by looking at your stupid face I can feel the wretchedness trying to rub off on me", Kid growled.

His signature smirk was back, and with a flick of his hand, all the sword's blades turned towards Deku. They made a clunking sound that filled the silent air and seeing their reflection in your glassy eyes gave Kid the final push.

With another flick of his hand, each and every of the swords sped towards Deku's trembling body, swallowing his cries for mercy.

He screamed in pain and desperately tried to protect his body, but there were just too many blades impaling him. They pinned him to the ground in an upright position, covering him in his own blood. His breathing became more and more shallow, and he looked at you with pain-filled eyes.

You watched the sight like in a trance. You felt inner peace for a split second, but then

nothing.

Nothing at all. It was gruesome to look at, but it didn't bother you the slightest.

With wheezing breaths, Deku's life ended in front of your eyes and your face didn't show any signs of remorse.

"Feed him to the fish", Kid growled and then blocked the space between you and Deku's body so you couldn't see him anymore.

You snapped out of your trance and realised what had just happened. It was good that you didn't see your ex-fiancé's dead body anymore because your stone-cold facade might have faltered.

Kid kneeled down in front of you again and you finally looked at his face. His frown was back, but his eyes were almost too soft for someone who just murdered a man without hesitation.

"Thank you", you mumbled flatly, but he didn't say anything.

"I'm going to take a bath", you added instead, sounding absent. Your body was there, but you felt like your soul was just hovering over it. The bath didn't actually matter, you just wanted to get away.

You tried to get up, but your legs were still too shaky. Kid was watching you for a few seconds, huffing at the fact that you couldn't take even a single step without tumbling over.

Suddenly, Kid flung you over his shoulders without a warning, ignoring your shriek.

He just scoffed and carried you to the cabin's bathroom, placing you in the empty bathtub. You raised an eyebrow at him when he sat down on the toilet, making no move to leave the room.

"I'm really thankful that you took revenge on my fiancé for me, but that doesn't mean you can watch me bath... naked...", you said quietly.

"There's no fiancé anymore. You're single and I saw your tits already", he smirked.

Although you couldn't deny that, it wasn't the best time to point it out and no excuse to creep on you in the bath.

"That's not the point."

"Then leave on your underwear, but I'm talking to you right here and now", he demanded with a growl, and you were too worn out to discuss and you knew that he wasn't really the patient type anyways.

Your gut didn't give you any warning signals either, so you just rolled your eyes and slipped of your shirt, shoes, and socks. The bra that Charlos had given you didn't cover anything and didn't give you any hold, so you had gotten rid of it immediately. Once your training had started, you made your own bra out of bandages from the infirmary, so this was what you were wearing at the moment.

Not ideal, but better than being naked.

You let the water run into the bathtub under Kid's watchful eyes, and when it was half full and after you put a nice foamy soap into it, you realised that you could have taken a bath later, after Kid was done talking to you. But it was too late for that now.

You watched the foam floating around on the surface for a second, thinking about the events of today with a frown.

"Where do you think you're going next?"

His question caught you of guard and you blinked some tears away that you couldn't really prevent from building up.

"I don't know. I need to see my brother."

What happened with Deku today absolutely destroyed your chance to be reunited with Tenmon and it became painfully clear to you right now.

"And where do you think you're staying until you find him?"

"I don't know", you said again.

He was quiet for a second and then displayed his signature smirk.

"If I promise you to help you find your brother, you will stay on the Victoria Punk as our doctor."

You shot him a sudden look and raised an eyebrow. Why did he offer you so much help out of the blue? Suspicion rose in you, and you narrowed your eyes.

He just scoffed in response.

"That's it, sweetheart. There's no catch. I will protect you until you find him, and you'll protect my crew in return."

You thought about his offer. If there was no catch, you could only win. And you had to be honest with yourself, there was no way you would even last a day in the New World on your own.

He held out his hand and you looked at it before you slowly put yours in his. Your hand was tiny compared to his, and you studied all the calluses and the roughness on them. It was obvious that he had worked hard with these hands, and it just added to the fascination that you already felt for him.

Suddenly, as soon as his hand enclosed yours, he pulled you towards him harshly. The water splashed against the edges of the tub and Kid's grip was strong around your hand. You let out a startled yelp and to your dismay, you felt your face redden.

His face was so close to yours now. It had become a familiar feeling to you, just like the smell of expensive rum, mint, and metal. He licked his lips and pulled you even closer. Your tits were pressed against his hard chest, and he placed his mouth next to your ear.

"We're gonna be a great team", he purred into your ear lowly, his breath tickling your neck.

You prayed that he didn't see that you had goosebumps all over your body. Your face felt so hot that you were sure you looked like a tomato and a tingling feeling spread from your chest to your stomach, to your crotch, and even into your thighs.

What the fuck is that?

Who were you kidding, you weren't stupid and not as innocent as Deku and your parents had wanted you to be. Just because you never experienced lust, didn't mean you wouldn't recognise the feeling if it ever came. You were sure that this was it, but why today and why with Kid?

He leaned back and your heart told you to pull him back, but the rational part of your brain interfered, so you just sat in the tub dumbfounded.

His smirk didn't falter, and something told you that he knew what an effect he just had on you. How embarrassing, you thought and slowly turned around, facing the wall.

He chuckled and finally left the room, and once the door was closed you took of the makeshift bra and let yourself slip under the water surface, mentally cursing yourself and Kid until you had to come up for air.

You stayed in the bathtub for as long as you could justify, to avoid Kid. You hoped that he was either not in his room, or already fast asleep. You dried yourself extra slowly and scolded yourself for not having asked Killer for another shirt.

You tried to put on the white button-down but as soon as the material touched your skin you had memories of Deku leaning over you and pinning you down flashing through your mind. You shuddered and bile rose up in your throat.

You looked at the shirt and felt new anger and sorrow in your heart. With gritted teeth and a frown, you pulled on the sleeves as hard as you could and ripped the shirts to shreds. Seeing the heap of white cotton pieces gave you a small feeling of victory. You couldn't let a dead Deku control you like that.

After putting the bandages around your chest again, you took a deep breath and slowly opened the door to the bedroom.

Kid's back was turned towards the room, and he was breathing steadily, probably meaning that he was sleeping. As quiet as possible, you made your way to his desk. There must have been a place where he stored his clothes, but the desk was really the only option in this room. Actually, thinking about it, you had never seen him with a shirt on.

You carefully pulled out one of the bigger drawers and to your surprise, you saw a few neatly folded shirts in there. All black.

I bet Killer folded these...

You grabbed the first one and couldn't resist taking it up to your face. It smelled as you expected: Fresh laundry and metal. It smelled comfortable.

You shook your head rapidly and slipped the shirt over your head. You looked absolutely lost in it, but it would do for sleeping.

On tiptoes, you neared the bed and slipped under the covers. You didn't feel the need to roll one of the blankets into a sausage anymore, and you looked at the ceiling wondering why. So many thoughts were ghosting around in your head...

Why do I trust him all of a sudden?

Just because he killed someone who did me wrong?

He didn't just do me wrong though, he literally had my parents killed.

But still, why would Kid kill him? There's no personal gain for him.

Why is he so keen on helping me lately?

What's in it for him?

Does he still hate me? He's still complicated, but it feels different.

He could have done unspeakable things to me the last week, but he didn't.

Don't even get me started on the other night... or today.

How he touched me. Like I'm precious.

I haven't felt precious in such a long time.

And why do I get butterflies when he touches me?

Why the fuck did I feel lust when he touched me tonight?

Oh my God, what on earth is wrong with me?

Your eyes widened almost comically when another thought hit you.

Do I like him?

You covered your face with your hands and tried not to scream into the quiet room. You gave yourself a small slap, but you couldn't deny that Kid was... interesting. He definitely was, but that didn't mean that you liked him.

Yes. Yes, that's the point. He's interesting, but that's it. It's just a very stressful time I'm going through. Of course I would feel fascinated by someone like him.

You sighed in content. You found an explanation that was fitting your narrative.

The mattress shifted abruptly, and your heart jumped, thinking that Kid was awake. But he had just turned around and his face seemed peaceful, the kind of peaceful look that one could only have while sleeping.

You couldn't turn your face away without studying his. You took in the sight of his sharp features and his fluffy, red hair. It fell on his forehead because it wasn't held up by his goggles, making him look a little younger. It was refreshing to see him without his furrowed brows.

You couldn't resist the urge to take a strand of his hair into your hand. You never touched it before, and it was just as soft as it looked.

It was also the first time that you could look at him without him noticing. There was no smirk, no angry eyes or frown.

He didn't look like a pirate anymore, just like a young man. He almost looked vulnerable, and you realised that he must have seen a lot. You wondered about his motivations to become a pirate and if all the things he had experienced left marks on him, inside and outside.

Like you said, he was fascinating.

You watched him breathing calmly, the blanket raising and lowering in a steady pace. It hit you like a brick.

"You saved me so many times", you whispered so quietly that he couldn't wake up from it.

You were right when you thought that killing Deku had no personal gain for him. He could have taken his ship and his belongings anyways, but he made sure that you decided Deku's fate and then acted accordingly.

It was a twisted sense of justice, but you had to admit that you didn't care.

It had been another hard day that left you absolutely drained. The knowledge about the circumstances of your parent's death scooched in between the thoughts about Kid and became prevalent.

You never got to say goodbye and they died without knowing what had happened to you. They never got the chance to see Deku's real face. You regretted not telling them about the conversation in the garden back then, maybe everything would be okay right now. Deku's words were ringing in your ears.

You chose to disrespect me that night, so I made you pay.

Yes, your parents wouldn't have backed out of the marriage deal. Deku had them wrapped around his fingers. He had buttered them up completely to make sure that anything you would say about him would fall on deaf ears.

You tried to steady your breathing when you felt hot tears forming in the corners of your eyes. The insufferable feeling of guilt washed over your whole body. Throughout your childhood you had learned how to speak to a future husband, and if you hadn't decided to throw all that courtesy stuff overboard at some point, your parents would still be alive. Of course, your life with Deku would have been horrible, but at least your family could have been happy.

Screw you for becoming your own person with your own wishes and morals.

Deep down you knew that it wasn't your fault, but the guilt felt so strong. It was crushing you, causing you to question every decision you ever made.

Suddenly, your heartbeat was picking up. It happened so rapidly that you were scared it would rip your chest open, so you clutched at your shirt and pressed your hand down. But feeling your speeding heartbeat like this made it even worse. It made your chest hurt like someone had punched you. It tightened and it was becoming gradually harder to breathe, a lump of suppressed tears forming in your throat. Your body felt hot, and you couldn't move, only shake. Your eyes darted around frantically and breathing felt more like choking. You wanted to get up, get fresh air or a glass of water to calm you down, but you were losing control over your body. Wheezing breaths mixed with the sound of quiet sobbing, while your vision blurred. Every cell in your body was screaming for help. You tried to get at least some air into your lungs, but it felt like they had shrivelled up.

You weren't in the right headspace to think anything of Kid opening his eyes suddenly, now looking at your shaking body while you still fought for air, your sobbing and whimpering filling the room. He let out a low growl and moved his hand towards you.

You tensed up immediately but surprisingly, his touch didn't scare you at all. As soon as he saw that you didn't flinch, he grabbed the small of your back and pulled you into his chest, enclosing your trembling body with both of his arms.

"Breathe with me", was all he said.

Your chest was flush against his and you could feel how he inhaled and exhaled slowly, in a steady pace. His heartbeat was calm, and you tried to concentrate on his breathing, mentally counting the intervals between each breath.

After a few more ragged breaths, your heartbeat synchronised with his and you followed his breathing pattern. You were still shaking a little, but the scariest part was overcome. Soon, the sobbing died down as well.

With each inhale and exhale you got calmer, and soon you felt like you were in control of your own body again. Hesitantly, you wrapped your arms around Kid's body as a silent thank you.

He stiffened but didn't push you away. He expected you to let go at some point, but you didn't. You didn't want to. You experienced the same feeling as earlier this evening when he held you after saving you from Deku. It was a comfortable feeling of absolute safety, like nothing in this world could do you any harm.

You wanted more of this feeling, so you kicked off your blanket and went under his instead, entangling your legs with his. He let out a breath he had been holding and snuck his other arm around your head to place his hand on it, brushing your hair with his thumb.

There was no empty space between the two of you, but at this very moment this was exactly what you needed. You forgot about all the pain and guilt in his embrace and enjoyed the comfortable feeling of warmth and safety.

It didn't take him long to fall asleep again, and you followed soon after.

Memories of the last week rushed through your mind and you realised that being here wasn't all that bad.