#but it doesnt work anymore! just that one time!

[anzuhan]

anzu doesnt like talking about this kind of stuff usually, because its very personal and very alarming

anzu loves everyone far too much to worry anybody about it, and anzu always wishes to spread nothing but positivity for as many people as possible, but the truth is it's coming nearer and nearer, so anzu is probably not able to hide it anymore. this isn't something willing, anzu loves anzu's life more than anything as is now, but anzu may pass this year, or at least become unable to do certain things anymore. there isn't much anzu can do besides pray, really, that things wouldn't go south, but its hard to say. anzu really just hopes anzu won't be forgotten, and that anzu's wishes can maybe still be carried out.. anzu hopes the world can still become kinder and more accepting. and well this is certainly nothing compared to the previous, but anzu also hopes len-hai could maybe still get back together and be happy and make more songs together, and hopefully become more loved by everyone, everywhere.

this is not anzu's choice, it's put upon anzu, and no one could really help for anzus entire life, anzu is just glad even if it was limited, anzu could make everyone happy. anzu is sorry if anzu wont be able to become a vtuber and an idol as anzu always wished, but this just doesnt really depend on anzu anymore, or rather, it never did. anzu always said it was due to personal problems and its true, its very jarring. anzu doesnt like talking about it.

if anzu stops posting indefinitely this summer, you'll have known what happened. its not medical issues either, and its been a fate put upon anzu since anzu was born, anzu wishes to not give further details. hope you can all still enjoy anzus works all the time and forever, all in your own way, and even learn from them if you so wish to do so, anzu is happy for all the love received in any way shape or form.

sorry

[dykekarkat]

taking a break from writing to play mc and now im thinking about the foxes on a server bcus i have many terminal diseases in my brain about them....

anyway renee and nicky are The builders of the server and their corner of the world is so gorgeous and pretty it is also where allison sets up (she pays renee in diamonds + netherite to build her a very elaborate mansion. tbc she has never been mining in her life neil just gives her his spoils). also when neil comes over he never fills in the creeper holes he leaves behind (he's got the most deaths in the server by far) and they put him in jail for a week.

matt lives in a dirt shack with neil and they're going on adventures 24/7 usually into the mines/caves. which neil loves mining it's his favorite thing that boy yearns for the strip mine. he doesnt know whats valuable or not but by god is he gonna get that ore. he just gives people stacks of whatever they need bcus he doesnt care. doesnt even wear armor most of the time. also they accidentally summon the warden the Only time kevin and aaron join them on a mining trip and it leads to a fall out the foxes haven't seen since allison slapped aaron.

dan has a thriving shop system she is making the economy Work in her favor (the power has lowkey gone to her head but she's also the only reason diamonds are even valuable anymore). kevin is her main competitor but the foxes like to boycott his stores bcus he gets really mad about it and its hilarious.

also kevin + aaron are the optimization gods. iron farm. villager farm. gold farm. they're breaking the nether ceiling and creating fast travel. aaron gets the killed the ender dragon achievement and is the first one to get elytra. neil pushes him off the edge of an end island with all of his stuff in his inventory and aaron's crash out is so bad he almost committed another murder (neil works for like 4 months to replace all of his stuff).

everyone doesn't expect andrew to join up but he does and as SOON as he's in that server he fucks off to the middle of nowhere. literally thousands of blocks away from everyone else. neil is the only person who knows where his base is and he shows them a screenshot and jaws are DROPPING. he's got one of those giant gorgeous hermitcraft bases and fully optimized tools + armor. also it's a base that's hidden by one of those really cool giant mechanical redstone doors like. inside of a mountain or smth.

[lbhslefttiddie]

a few Thoughts on the matter (somewhat long?):

the separation anxiety is real bad. yqy is no longer able to trust that sqq will not die or perhaps just vanish the Second yqy turns away. this drives sqq a Little bit insane bc for a minute he thinks yqy thinks he's not capable of taking care of himself. yqy is just not fully able to believe this is real and that he isnt going to lose xiao jiu all over again (and again, and again, and again—)

its only a matter of time before sqq figures out yqy's whole Thing is something that cannot be attributed wholly to poor teaching or care while he was gone. its fun bc in this world theres literally no one at all who could know the truth besides yqy, who is, of course, incapable of speaking about it. sqq is piecing together a working theory about some sort of curse he encountered during the time they were apart that deeply traumatized him, but whatever it is, it seems no one else ever found out about it....

honestly its good for the prev sect leader that the xuan su/ling xi caves bullshit isnt a thing anymore, because if it was sqq would have eventually pinned the prev sect leader as responsible for how deeply fucked up yqy is (which isnt wholly unfair) now and probably would have killed her lmao

yqy has lost all ability to pretend that sqq is not always his first priority. he wears the visage of placid geniality and reliable older brotherisms easily, because its worn itself into his skin over countless lifetimes, and he has not changed in that he is generally kind and avoids conflict, but when if comes to sqq he is not capable of remaining mild anymore. man cant even pretend to listen to the other side, if sqq says it went like this then it went like this, and he gets real threatening real fast when something presents itself as a risk to sqq. and everyone just has to sort of Deal With It, because yqy is Insanely Fucking Strong in this au, and sqq is, somehow, actually the only thing keeping him from tearing the world apart at the seams or otherwise tanking the sect

sqh never makes it to sect leader; yqy already knows about his future betrayal, so the instant sqq clocks the suspiciousness of him not dying from that one demon encounter his ass is getting investigated to hell and back; if he is caught he would get executed; though, given the cleverness and sheer drive to not die that fuels sqh (either iteration), its possible he would avoid that fate, whether by fleeing the sect or covering his ass well enough, but he will never be trusted enough to rise to peak lord in this life

yqy is so caught up in the I Don't Need Anything Or Care About Anything As Long As Xiao Jiu Is Okay mentality that romance does not even exist in his mind, and if it did, he would never dare threaten what he has for something that he doesnt need. sqq, however, is going to eventually decide that the best way to communicate that he isnt going anywhere is for them to get married

though he still went though most of his canon childhood trauma, sqq is much better better off emotionally here, because A) it is not even possible to doubt that yqy cares about him more than anything in the world and would have saved him if he could and that he tried so, so hard, and B) fussing over the mess that is yqy keeps him thoroughly occupied such that he cannot wallow in self hatred or start beefing with preteens or what have you

this does probably fall into the category of aus where lbh goes to bai zhan instead of qing jing because sqq could not give a single shit about lqg in this world

funny enough there is like a 70% chance lqg dies in this universe. theres a non-zero chance that with yqy unable to part from him that sqq just wouldn't end up going into secluded cultivation at the time that lqg is in the ling xi caves, and if he goes into seclusion With yqy there's like a 50/50 chance yqy would kill lqg himself. it might mot even be on purpose too, if qi deviating lqg tried to attack sqq, yqy could possibly smack him aside and do enough thoughtless damage then, considering his own strength and lqg's weakened state, to accidentally kill the guy. but also theres a definite possibility of him killing him on purpose for attacking sqq

if lqg dies then i think it would be so funny if lbh and lmy got together (not romantically; lbh definitely wanted to smash lqg in this au) to exact revenge on yqy but like. nothing comes of it ever. bc what are they gonna do? yqy is stronger here than he was in pidw canon, and with sqq always at his side all his weaknesses are covered. sqq himself could of course be identified as his primary weakness, but the man is untouchable in this au, both physically and in terms of his reputation; yqy is the one who killed lqg and straight up fucking said as much as soon as they left the caves; sqq is a distant master in this au but not abusive, he probably doesn't even remember lbh exists; hell, he possibly doesn't even know that ning yingying exists in this au, and even if he did he doesn't have a reputation as a lecher, and lbh and nyy likely never even met; yqy specifically made sure to kill qht so that she could never come back to punish sqq for letting her live, and with that there is no one left alive besides themselves who knows they once were slaves, nor of sj's involvement with wyz; sqh has been dealt with years ago, which means the immortal alliance conference demon invasion never happens, which means lbh never falls into the endless abyss, least of all by sqq's hand (and even if he had its not like anyone in the cultivation world would fault sqq for killing a heavenly demon in itself), which also means lbh will never find xin mo or become as powerful as he did in pidw. and even if they HAD things to accuse sqq of, his standing amongst his martial siblings in this life if MUCH better than once it was; they will stand for him in the name of sect solidarity.

all of this is to say that lbh and lmy might try some plots but nothing would ever come of it; perhaps eventually they will leave the sect in anger and end up falling in with the huan hua palace master, and perhaps this would eventually lead to an intersect war, perhaps, but nothing would come of that, either, and there's no guarantee that even the hhpm would try to fuck with that (gesturing at yqy) in this lifetime

equally likely that what would actually come of it is lbh finding out the truth about sxy and tlj and tanking hhp from the inside. as he deserves.

meanwhile lmy has split from lbh once its become clear they weren't going to get anywhere in avenging her brother and has since found herself in good company at tian yi overlook

in the 30% chance that lqg doesnt die in the ling xi caves, he may or may not become a fun occasional addition to qijiu sexytimes

more seriously, sqq and lqg do not have the same animosity they did in their original lifetimes. lqg still respects yqy for his strength but he does recognize that if sqq were a different person, he could have had yqy destroy half the world before anyone managed to stop him, and to recognize that he necessarily has to respect sqq as well. it helps that there aren't any sussy rumours about sqq in this life fro them to fight over.

meanwhile yqy remembers that in lifetimes where lqg has lived past the caves incident, he has been willing to put his life on the line to defend sqq, which is like the only metric by which he measures anyone's worth these days. sqq, for his part, can appreciate both the value of a dedicated guard dog who is capable of leaving his side for extended periods of time, and the physical prowess and stamina that accompanies the bai zhan war god's very pretty face

suddenly seized with the desire to write/draw a few short little scenes from the world after the events of You Can (Not) Redo (the uh. the yqy timeloop fanfiction. not the evangelion movie which i named it for) because it is, generally speaking, a happy ending, but also yqy is left deeply, deeply broken in ways that would be both fascinating and hilarious to explore

[snorfbin]

.

[simplydnp]

The Dan in the Shrek shirt and hat is giving “we were being silly and soft still in our pjs in the hotel room” vibes like he looks like he just woke up 😭🥺

lightly tousled for sure. a lil squinty a little flirty a little ruffled. definitely part of how they recovered from jet lag

[oneday-yourside]

Harry's world/Bad end

Inspired by Christina's world by Andrew Wyeth

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[puppppppppy]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[sonknuxadow]

it just hit me that the movie is coming out next month imgonna throw upppppppp

[forbiddentaako]

more monochrome practice I suppose

[wormchaser]

you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.

i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[ragnars-tooth]

so very quick and sketchy but i was getting vague designs for all the tldc ladies down in one place

not so sure on gwendolen and gwilanna and i havent looked back at the books for details yet but these were just a quick cool down for the night 🫶

[bcneheaded]

I was just thinking and... Artemis is not kind. yes, for all his friendliness, and all the fancy and amicable language and behaviors he displays outwardly to just about everyone who enters his shop... he's not genuinely nice. Artemis is a demon. in any verse of his, he used to be something akin to a spirit/god of LOVE, but was twisted into Wrath, or Hatred - which is the opposite. After leaving the pits of hell, having his little demonic tantrum and breakdown and finally growing weary and finding some semblance of clarity, he's grown out of what he was once again, and became something new. He's still wrathful, hateful, angry, and morose, but now he's so much more without even realizing. He's evolved and will continue to do so over time even if he stagnates for decades, centuries even. The friendships and relationships with other muses that he develops will influence his personality and the way he views things in time, as we've seen it happen already countless times ofc! And for those who did earn his respect and care, he does truly care for them and would gladly go out of his way for them (to what degree depends entirely on the level of closeness). But again.... Artemis is not kind, by nature and he hasn't been for a very, very long time. He was genuinely just plain and simple EVIL He was a villain - a monster, unrecognizable to how he acts now- doing horrible, unspeakable deeds for the pleasure of it. It's how he got the bones he wears in and on his body. So while he might be polite, charming even, and friendly - if he does not know you... he doesn't care about you nor what happens to you. If say for example, he sees you wandering that ruined cityside he lives in - rampant with entities that prey on the Living - and he saves you from being taken by evil spirits or demons? Chances are good that he did it for himself, or to be spiteful - to deny the other entities their prize (you / your soul). If he doesn't know you, the likelihood that he'll go out of his way for you is very low. But if there's something in it for him, some kind of reason as to why it might be worth his time and energy to actually step in... he might! But like all demons, it's good to be wary and to assume he doesn't care about you or your well-being, at least at first!! Artemis is not nice, but that doesn't mean he's malicious or cruel (anymore. not intentionally - he's quite literally under the mindset that he's just 'too old and tired for that nonsense'.) Artemis is manipulative, charming, cunning - he's everything you expect from a demon (though without a host, so he's certainly not attractive in any semblance of a conventional manner lmao - but he dresses well! and I think it's also telling just how-- *gestures at all that* --that he actually is, considering he's NOT attractive... but still puts people at ease, mostly, and can charm them to hell and back if he wanted to. He uses that not to manipulate people per say ?? like, he does not have an evil agenda by any means. He's just existing at this point, distanced from the gods and devils and just living his... life(?) if you can call it that. He's TRYING to do better. But he's still just... a demonic entity. A greater demon, for sure, if he had to be equated to some kind of level or whatever, but a demon nonetheless. But even for demons, there can be growth! and he is growing, very very slowly.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.

I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.

Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?

How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"

And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.

So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.

So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.

And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.

-

And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.

Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.

And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.

So you sail away in a boat together.

And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.

But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.

But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.

You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.

And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-

-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.

You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.

-

And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.

It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.

And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)