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androgynous-barbie · 10 months ago

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Bridgerton S3 thoughts thus far

spoilers under the cut i guess. but i dont have like anyone to talk about this show with so

Reasons I do ship Polin

i want Penelope to be happy and being with Colin would make her happy

it's gonna happen anyway

his growth/development is making me like him a little bit

maybe if he grows to accept the Whistledown thing, he can also help Eloise realize that Pen exposed her to save her from the queen cuz god why are we not getting this Eloise ur supposed to be the smart one ffs

gets her the FUCK out of that house (like she wants). her mom's bad but god her sisters just SUUUUUCK

Reasons I don't

he literally does not deserve her (or really, so far, anyone in my mind) after years of her just being a thought in his head and then espesh the bs in the s2 finale - then again really idrc much for any of the bridgerton men thus far.... i know the show's named after them but (as is a pattern with me in life) i really care about the female characters so much more. s1 was daphnes story. s2 was kates story. s3 is penelope's. i know im supposed to see it the other way round in the latter 2 cases but.... (i dunno. maybe make the men cooler than 'he was a rake/slept around alot and didnt know what to do in the world til he found love in her' ? although to be fair they DID make Anthony a compelling character in his season. they just have yet to do that with Colin)

she deserves someone who didn't HAVE to grow to love her after writing her off or suddenly realize she's always been beautiful

the Whistledown plotline.... like... is he just gonna shut up and accept it? is she gonna have to convince him its okay? is he gonna become a co-Whistledown the way Dan and Jenny were BOTH Gossip Girl? this gripe gets its own point later on

Rest of the season thoughts

i wish it was explicitly stated if the match Edwina made overseas was Prince Friedrich cuz my god my girl deserves to be a princess omg

why are we still supposed to care about the Mondrich plots? its leading to NOTHING. this is just as bad as the con artist plot from s2 that i literally just started fast forwarding thru until the finale. - and even THEN all it did was give Penelope more reason to fawn over Colin so really it led to NOTHING

LOVING Cressida Cowper being in her character development era.

Lord Debling is so gorgeous

Lord Debling is so adorable

Lord Debling is so sweet....... and I wish he had said 'yes i do believe love CAN grow' or at least 'fondness/deep fondness' rather than his (truthful) 'i don't know'. cuz damn that was a cute courtship but again we all know this is gonna be Polin season (no pun intended)

solely because of her shit ass parents, i hope Cressida becomes Lady Debling. They COULD be cute but it seems like asking for romantic chemistry is asking alot so if they approach this like a contract ('you receive a wife and eventually a son we hope and i receive a title and money and my parents off my neck') then it could work to everyone's happiness or at least contentment (s2 Marina flashback omg)

i hope at SOME point we get some redeeming qualities from Penelope's sisters. They're so two-note (stupid and mean) and I really think if they're going to insist on putting this bitches in our faces they should at least be bearable

I hope we get some redeeming qualities from Lady Featherington too. It does seem like she cares for Pen but for some reason can't find a way to say it. I hope we find out WHY and then undo that

like i seriously hoped that when she said 'a life unmarried doesn't have to be miserable' (paraphrased or whatever) that pen wouldve been like 'i can do unmarried i can't do unLOVED' and then her mom wouldve said she DOES love her or something

AND i was hoping Pen calling her out wouldve led to something but of COURRRSSSSSSE the moment had to be interrupted

so i'm hoping I just have to wait a little more

The Whistledown identity plot. GAWWWD.

so i havent read the books but from what i heard about them the queen isnt a character in them and so i think the whole 'who's the gossiper' isnt a plot in the books too

and so i wish that this and gossip girl 1 had just been like 'she's here she exists we tolerate it lets go' cuz it's causing ANOTHER plot line to be added into this very loaded season

and it's TEDIOUS especially because we KNOW this wont end with Pen on trial for treason or her and Colin shunned by society cuz this isnt THAT DEEP of a show so WHAT are we doing here?

Benedict gets his own story soon doesnt he? so why are we getting another him + random woman plot?

that being said, i love this season's random Benedict-girl. gorgeous and has some bite. wonder how thatll pan out tho since she doesnt bare the name of the girl he gets with in his book so..

speaking of gorgeous: FRANCESCAAAAA!!!!!!!

she looks like a mix of Phoebe Dynevor and Lily James

I was gonna say 'where has she been hiding' but i found out the actress has been in 2 things ive seen before omg

but ughhhh i was so happy for her and Lord Samadani until the 'i want 8 kids thing'

espesh cuz this'll lead to the queen lashing out cuz she feels like a bad matchmaker and that'll be bad for the bridgertons or whistledown or both and like ughhh

i was SO on francesca's side about being fine and being paired with whoever

but now that she's finding love or fondness with the earl omg im loving that for her too

the giggliness at the piano, their comfort sharing silence its SO CUTE

but knowing just the plot of the books i wonder if this means that [redacted] is gonna end up with her and then she'll still be widowed and [redacted] will end up pursuing her.

maybe THATS why theyre giving her a plot this season. to lead to that

i miss daphne a little. i get it tho

i DEF miss Kate. and Kate and Anthony but i get it tho

come to think of it. i think i'd actually just be happier if Pen's mom and sisters just died tbh (that could change tho. please give them positive qualities QUICK)

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studythenight-away · 5 years ago

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Hello! As finals season (aka 5-research-papers-due-in-a-week season) dawns on many of you, I thought I would share the process I used to write papers in college. This made writing long research papers much less daunting (but can also work on shorter papers). I really hope this helps some of you who feel stuck. Especially during these ridiculous times, when you're stuck at home and might have other uncontrollable factors affecting your mental health, a clear framework of what to do could be helpful. Good luck, my friends! You got this.

About me

I graduated college in 2018 with degrees in Political Science + International Studies and will be starting law school this fall. I wrote nearly 20 15 to 25-page papers, never earning below an A. I loved researching about my topics but hated writing. It's tedious, takes so much time, and everything I write sounds bad at first. Plus, I was a terrible procrastinator so most of these essays were written in under a week. Talk about stress.

Over time I found a process that worked for me, one that made churning out a paper seem straightforward, like going through a factory line rather than this terrifying concept of writing 10,000 words. It kept me sane without decreasing the quality of my work (or more importantly, how much I learned!)

I'm thinking about making a short video to show this in action… let me know if that could be helpful!

Step 1: Research

How you organize your research is a key step in keeping you sane. Usually I'll have a pile of 20 books in my dorm along with dozens of JSTOR tabs open on my laptop, and that can get overwhelming very fast. Right now just focus on collecting ideas, not developing an argument or even an outline! As with most research papers, you could be starting with little to no background information on the topic, so it is still too early to be thinking about an argument.

Put all your research in one document

Open up a new doc: this will be the heart of everything. For a 15-page paper I usually end up with around 14-18 pages of typed research, 10 pt font, single spaced, tiny margins. This seems like a lot, but essentially all I do is type up anything I read that seems relevant to my topic, so luckily this step does not require that much brain power. Just type type type!

Use the table of contents

Find the chapter(s) that are actually relevant instead of skimming through the whole book. Time is of the essence here!

Use Zotero, cite right away

You can also use easybib or whatever you're used to, but keep track of your sources. I like Zotero because I can keep a log of all of my sources and copy the footnote or bibliography version whenever needed. Before you even begin reading, cite the source and copy it into your research doc. This will save you so much time later when you have to put in your citations in the actual paper.

Here is an example of what my research doc looks like:

Full citation is my heading for each source just so it’s crystal clear

I ignore all typos (I don’t think there are any in this part though, go me!) because my head is buried in the book just trying to get all the info down

I always start with the page number so I know what to cite when I go back

Create a shorthand

While typing up research, you might think of something that the author didn't talk about that you'll want to write in your paper. Or perhaps a few sentences already start to form. Put them all in one place, with your research, so you know what source you'll have to cite to then lead into your idea. I type "!@#" before anything that is strictly my own idea so I'm never confused. It's fast and stands out.

This is an example: the two bullet points above are evidence from my source, which made me think of this argument I could make, which I noted with “!@#”

Step 2: Read Your Research

Now that you have all your information, go back and read through it all. Every time you read about a new theme/person/event, write it down somewhere. You may come up with a list of 20+ different ideas in your research. No matter how small, as long as there is something about it, write it down. Each of these mini themes is going to end up being a paragraph in your paper or combined with another mini theme.

Once you’ve made your list, look for larger overarching themes. In the paper I’ve shown you, I had mini categories like “political party x” “religion” “labor groups” “little organization” and “hierarchy.” When I looked back I though, hey these are all groups and how groups are working together, so they each became their own mini paragraph under the subsection of “Alliances.”

As with most research paper structures, I try to find three general themes/subsections (like an extended version of that 5-paragraph essay we wrote in middle school). It makes the paper less messy and also makes sure I’m not covering things that are beyond a reasonable scope.

During this step, you are also searching for your thesis. It won’t be your final version. As you fill in your outline in the next step you may make slight changes. But this is definitely when you start thinking about it.

Step 3: Outline

We’re ready to outline! Once I’ve collected all my different themes and organized all my subsections and paragraphs, it’s time to fill in that outline. I start a new doc just for the outline and take advantage of google doc’s headings function to make a clear document outline.

Here comes the fun part, I read through my research one more time, this time copy and pasting all my research into each section of the outline. The document outline in google docs makes this easy because I can just click on each subheading to get me there (super helpful when you’re dealing with 15+ pages of research).

Here is what it looks like:

Let’s say I need to add something to my outline about labor groups. Boom, labor groups. Also, the typos are really abound here haha

Step 4: Write the Paper

Okay, I get it, easier said than done. BUT! You already have everything set up. Your outline is essentially just a list of your paragraphs and all you have to do is paraphrase, cite, and create a topic sentence. And that’s how you should think about this: you’re essentially transforming bullet points into sentences and adding footnotes.

In high school my English teacher introduced us to Sh*tty First Drafts for creative writing, but honestly the same applies to research papers. Sometimes I’ll even have phrases like “wait no that’s not what I meant but basically...” and when I go back to edit, I realize that what came after “but basically...” is fine! And I keep it. So just start typing.

How do you cite while you write? Because we’re trying to get a constant stream of writing going, inserting proper footnotes after each sentence you type is too bothersome. I usually split screen with my outline and my paper so I just copy and paste a few words from my bullet point into my footnote, like so:

(This is from a different paper about cluster munitions.)

Step 5: Edit the Paper

I work best when I print out my first draft and make all edits in red pen. I feel more productive and can visually see where I want to move sentences and what I need to change. The more red there is the better I can feel the paper getting. (Whether or not that’s true doesn’t matter. We’re trying to stay motivated here!) When it’s all digital I don’t really see the progress. Plus, once I finish all the red, I get another moment of passive brain work, where all I’m doing is transferring edits rather than thinking. And at this point in the process, that kind of relief is much welcomed.

The good thing about this process is there’s not usually a need to cut entire paragraphs or pages because the paper you end up with is just a formalized version of your outline. Because you started with such a detailed outline, the cutting and editing now is just to refine your word choices and get rid of the “but basically”s. You’re almost there!

Step 6: Replace your citations

Now it’s time to go back and replace your footnotes with actual citations. Zotero makes this easy because in Word you can just insert and add the page number, and it’ll automatically do “Ibid.” for you when needed. Ctrl+f in the original research doc to quickly find the source.

Step 7: One More Read-Through and Submit!

Congratulations!! You’ve got a fully-researched and well-backed paper! Of course, even though the process is straightforward, it’s still a lot of work. In ideal situations I would start researching two weeks before the deadline, but if need be, I believe I’ve done this all in three miserable panic-filled days as well.

Please message me if you have any questions at all! I really hope some of you find this helpful! Good luck!

#studyblr #college #university #writing #essay #study tips #studytna #original #research #research paper #study #student #school #you can do it!

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mybg3notebook · 4 years ago

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Gale: Manipulation, Lies, and Trust

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.

Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in this (post) while disclaimers about Context in this (one).

Before anything I strongly suggest reading this post about "Context, persuasion, and manipulation" to understand in a simplified way the meaning of the words we use, so despite not being related to bg3, it's related to communication and social issues. Since fandom loves to misuse them, I think it requires a proper explanation so we all know in which frame we are analysing these scenes.

Due to the fact that this post ended up turning into a much longer one than I wanted to, I split it into four posts, each of them showing how many sides Gale has in those scenes, how much his actions are "manipulative", how many details related to lore he shares, and possible interpretations of his behaviour, since it's rather easy to lose his scenes because they have the lowest priority. In this post I will only make a summary and a compilation of the broad details explained in those posts, so pick what you want to read since all these posts may have overlap of information and repetitive concepts (they were written to be self-contained as much as possible).

'Stew'Scene

"Loss Scene"

"Party Scene" (with Revelation scene)

"Extra Scenes": Death Protocol and Comments on Dreams

I'm analysing these scenes in detail because I noticed that many players incorrectly paraphrase Gale's words, putting in his mouth words he never said, so for the sake of transparency, I transcribed many fragments of his dialogues, making these posts more lengthy than they should be.

The stew scene

The details are shown in the post of the "'Stew'Scene". In this scene, Gale shares a friendly introduction with the stew and with a list of good deeds done by Tav. This shows that he has begun to trust Tav so he can talk about this issue earlier than he wanted to (he will wait much longer in the neutral version). As a gesture of honesty, Gale sets an explicit boundary by telling Tav to refrain their curiosity and do not ask about the 'why' of the issue he is about to talk about (under no circumstance he is forcing Tav to agree with the delivery of artefacts before telling them 'what' he needs). He acknowledges that it may be unfair not to give the whole context, but he still can't speak in detail about this very personal issue. As an interesting detail, his trust in Tav at this moment of the conversation is so honest that he has not shielded his mind, so Tav can intrude with the tadpole without Gale knowing it—if Tav succeeds— . If Gale doesn't trust Tav even successful intrusions of the tadpole can be perceived by Gale's trained and cautious mind. For more detail read the post of "The Tadpole".

I personally interpret the stew scene as one of those moments in which one is developing a friendship with a stranger, and at some point, someone has to trust first. It's a rare occasion in which the act of trust is shared in equal measure by both members in a new relationship. Usually, one of them offers a bigger portion of trust, testing the other, seeing if it was not misplaced or if it will be honoured later. It's a normal asymmetry, and in this case, Gale is only explicitly asking for that asymmetry in his favour.

Considering how Gale opens up later, Tav passed the test in his eyes. Helping him during his direst moment and accepting that temporal trust asymmetry made Tav “earn the respect of years” despite being a stranger he met a couple of days or weeks ago. But Gale will not be blind to that gesture. He will progressively honour that trust in the Weave, the Loss, and the Revelation scenes. And by the end of EA, if it is not bugged as usual, Gale's approval status can change to “best friend” (an information given as meta-knowledge, therefore very unlikely to be "a trap set by Gale". For more details read the post about "meta-knowledge").

It's pretty common for manipulative characters (whose trait of manipulation belongs to their personality, not characters who may have circumstantial manipulative actions) to expose their pain too soon with strangers as a tool to force empathy on the listener and "catch" them. Gale does exactly the opposite: he won't open up until having a solid ground where to place his trust. Nobody wants to share their pain in unsafe places, after all.

Helping him with artefacts is deeply appreciated by him and a great boost of his approval for obvious reasons: people tend to place their trust on persons who helped them in their most desperate situations or in their survival. It has to do with the unique connection that often happens between survivors of extreme situations (war-like) who helped each other in surviving. The shared link is deep. One could expect this link to be built with any of Tav's companions since the Tadpole experience is traumatising and extreme. I think this has higher chances of happening with neutral and good aligned companions, since evil ones may have little scruples to not honour the trust received.

Gale could have avoided Tav's questions and mistrust for this secrecy by just lying. However, Gale opts for an explicit enunciation of his limits and boundaries. And Tav is completely free to agree or not since Gale won't abandon the party if not. We know that, in that case, he will try to find another solution that he may find in Raphael's deal. Some players consider this situation of mutual agreement in the terms and conditions that the conversation will happen as a coercive one. What I see is diplomacy and negotiation rather than manipulation.

Gale's need for secrecy is related to two factors:

Survival: He needs to be sure that Tav won't kill him out of fear (which we saw during the scene with Nettie; it's a common procedure in Faerûn: exterminate what's dangerous). Gale's case is even worse because killing him will only activate the devastation he is desperate to avoid: Gale wants to survive but also wants to avoid the massacre that the “orb” can cause.

Personal reasons: Which is the main reason at this point: Gale is unable to speak about the "why" of this condition because it's originated in Mystra's abandonment and the horror of the “orb”: such traumatising experience that turns the Tadpole experience into an inconvenience (this is why his attitude with the tadpole is more relaxed too, he has already passed through a much worse, terrifying situation).

The Loss scene reinforces this concept when we see Gale—usually so verbose and impossible to shut up— can't speak or find the words to say what he lost and why. And only by the end of the scene, if Tav insisted with many checks, he managed to say something. It's worth noting that these checks tend to be strangely low for a character who is struggling with a personal secret. This is usually understood in DM-code as Gale wanting to share this info (setting a lower DC than the average). Gale is not finding the way to do it, and a Tav gently pushing him will do the trick.

It is for this reason I personally think that Gale's secretive attitude is more like a series of obvious clues he purposely leaves in his conversations for Tav to draw their own conclusions before he could finally open up. If all Gale's scenes are triggered (which at this moment is very hard to do with his priority being always the lowest) and Tav pushes him to speak more than he is willing to, the player obtains a decent amount of information to conclude that Mystra and Gale had a deeper relationship, and that the “orb” is something dangerous not only for Gale. To be honest, the death protocol is a gigantic red flag pointing out that Gale's primary condition is not to be taken lightly and “many innocents” can die because of it.

With a neutral or lower approval, Gale will not ask Tav to trust in him. He doesn't trust Tav either, and there is no promise to speak and disclose his condition later. Gale clearly is more mindful and caring with a medium or higher approval Tav who he is starting to see as a good companion/friend, while with a neutral or lower approval Tav he cares little about keeping the contact beyond what diplomacy demands.

It's not by chance that this Stew scene is meant to happen before the Weave scene. From a narrative, contextual point of view, the trust that Tav gave Gale during the Stew scene is afterwards paid with the Weave and the Loss scene. Let's remember that Gale would only ask for that trust if Tav is of medium or higher approval, so the Weave scene comes naturally (when not bugged). The neutral and low approval Tav is never asked for that trust and therefore the Weave scene never happens (if their approval keeps going down). In fact, Gale can leave permanently without any chance of convincing him to stay if he reaches very low approval. What I mean is that, from a narrative point of view, the Weave and the Loss scenes are Gale's way to return that trust that Tav gave him first during the stew scene and the first artefact consumption.

The Weave was not a premeditated scene. It happened by surprise, triggered by Gale's deep loneliness: Tav startled him when he was longing for Mystra while seeing her image in his incantation. He shares in that moment how important and vital magic is in his life, and only then, the previous actions done by Tav encourage him to share this experience. It's important to highlight that this is too personal for Gale, too important, and a bit painful too, since we know later (second dream) that every time he connects with the Weave, he meets with Mystra's disappointment: "What magic I can still weave is met only with undercurrents of disappointing silence."

After a moment of rambling, Gale invites Tav to share this experience. Here is where all the branches about explicitly displaying Tav's romantic interests can be developed; a neutral option for a friendship path, or very aggressive and violent reactions can be picked as well. More details about this scene can be read in the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 2", section: "Proposition to Cheat". And again, for a char so guarded of his own privacy and personal issues, sharing the Weave can be clearly seen as the repayment of the trust that Gale received from Tav during the stew scene.

The Loss scene

The Loss is a scene that starts with a mystery about Gale's incapacity to cast a spell. He keeps pushing Tav away, claiming that night to be of personal regrets. Tav knows already that something is dangerous in Gale's consumption of artefacts that can cause a catastrophe, so in this scene some links can be made between the two conditions.

If Tav gently pushes Gale to speak, we will notice that most DCs are rather low, meaning that Gale is not putting a strong resistance for the pushing: a friendly Tav pushing him can be interpreted as Gale wanting extra help to open up and speak (in the end he approves the caring despite his reserved persona). Gale gives many hints in this scene that suggest he was a Chosen of Mystra. The most relevant one is the Silver Fire reference. For more details about the Chosen's powers read the post about "Mystra and her Chosen ones".

We also see a reinforcement of Gale's pattern behaviour: He prefers to speak in this poetic way when he has to talk about painful topics (we see it after killing the druids that triggers “the barren oak” scene or during the goblin party scene). Talking in third person puts distance, but also the embellishment of his narration makes it easier for him to speak, after all he is a poet/storyteller as well.

What's clear is that the verbose companion, who always has a lot to talk about, is basically speechless in this scene, stuck in his "loss" (literally, metaphorically, and psychologically speaking). Part of this behaviour can be understood a bit more in the post about "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1", section: "Grooming". Besides being a private person, Gale also has a perspective that talking about things that can't be changed is useless. He is so stuck in the loss, that talking about it means nothing to him, "the outcome" is always the same.

After pushing Gale to share his burden, the presence of Mystra in Gale's life is undeniable for Tav. Gale sounds like a strong devotee that somehow lost Mystra. We know in this short description that he “did something” to impress his Goddess and earn her favour back, and in doing it, he failed, invoking death upon him. If Tav is sharp enough, knowing that Gale's consumption of artefacts is related to a “catastrophe” and a certain death of himself... maybe they can start connecting some dots and suspect that Gale's primary condition may be related to the loss of Mystra. My point is, even Tav has been informed quite a lot about Gale's “truth”. As we can see, the “Revelation” scene should not be such a shocking “revelation” as it was written, but more a “detailed description” of the situation.

The context seems clear so far: Gale knows he hides the details of his condition (which are not so hidden anymore), and knows that it's information that can cause a second abandonment (whether as a friend or a lover). Gale is at this point in his life very tired and lonely of struggling with the “orb” inside him too. He could use some emotional support, and this is why I believe he has less tough DCs that one should expect from a character who is actively holding information he doesn't want to share. We need to remember that Gale lives in a permanent anxiety mind-state, too focused on Artefacts and the disaster he can cause, increased with the dreadful, hungry feelings that the “orb” inspires with each passing day. He is getting fond of Tav at this point, and their abandonment would mean too much, even though he knows that he may deserve it.

We know that Mystra abandoned him, but did not ban him from using the Weave. I personally speculate that maybe Gale's point of view of the situation of the “orb” and the following abandonment of Mystra is partial: Mystra may have abandoned him not on purpose but as a consequence of having that Weave-sucking power in his chest. As it was explained in the post of "Mystra and her Chosen ones", Chosen ones have a deeper connection with her, and they are able to use raw magic in the form of Silver Fire. This means that Chosen are part of Mystra herself (in Dead Masks, it's stated that Mystra leaves a bit of her own divinity in each of her Chosen), so Chosen ones are also part of the Weave, always connected to Mystra who is the Weave. If the “orb” inside Gale consumes Weave, and we all know that Weave IS Mystra, it's not too far to conclude that Mystra may have abandoned him as a safety measure since, if Gale remained as Chosen, his contact with her would be deeper and would expose her to the “orb”, destroying her eventually. But this, again, it's a mere personal speculation.

The party scene

Gale has finally reached a degree of trust in Tav that gives him enough courage to finally speak about the details of the "orb" (and I emphasise details because in broad aspects, he already shared what's most important: the “orb” in his chest is a dangerous thing. If Tav assisted in his death protocol, this is undeniable by now, unless Tav did not pushed him and respected his privacy).

If he is romanced, he promises much more: confessions in the art of conversation, pleasures in the art of the body, and, hopefully, acceptance. For Gale, acceptance is a big deal: I personally believe he shows a fair level of naivety on this matter. It seems (especially later, with his arguments in the morning) he thought he needed this level of intimacy to reach acceptance first (a process that this book guarantees to happen), so he could speak openly. He wants to have this night before any confession because he wants to acquire acceptance which, in his mind, would prevent the abandonment he viscerally fears.

Gale is so eager to spend the night with Tav first and confess later that the only way of not doing it is not romancing him at all or telling him that Tav is not in the mood. It's not clear in EA if this ends the romance; I think it doesn't since the disapproval is not big (there is no change in the approval status).

Gale wants to be with Tav intimately so badly that he doesn't mind Tav having casual sex with other companions first as long as the "commitment" part would be established with him. This is reinforced by the fact that, if Tav never shared the Weave with Gale, there is no way to sleep with him: Gale is not a character for one-stand nights. He craves for deep connection, for commitment, in whatever fashion he can get it. Mystra taught him not to ask about exclusivity after all, and because of the ephemeral nature of his relationship with her, he craves for something meaningful and more committed.

Mystra was his first love. After her abandonment, he made the mistake of the “orb” that dragged all his energy into studying Netherese magic and possible solutions. I consider it fair to think that maybe Gale never had a relationship beyond the Goddess, and all what he learnt about romantic relationships was through books like the one he mentions or, as a poet, through novels or romantic poetry. He must have an idealisation of love (also proper of a poet) that made him believe that through sex “intimacy” there is a guarantee of acceptance.

His pattern, in my opinion, says that he tends to make mistakes in his emotional state, which is mostly triggered by the “orb” and the potential of ��abandonment”. Not so much with Mystra herself. He seems to be nostalgic, but more aware of what loving a God causes (his regret is explicit during the conversation about Karsus). He seems to be quite done with "her romantic love", but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be forgiven nor he doesn't love her as the essence of Magic itself. More details in the post of "Mystra and her Chosen ones".

Some players see the “Revelation” scene as manipulative. Although that's personal interpretation, if we analyse the kind of information withheld by Gale we found little new: the dangerous nature of the “orb” had been indirectly disclosed in all the previous scenes. Tav being surprised about the “orb” seems strange. And Gale sleeping with Mystra has little relevance: in a game for adults, why are past partners such a big deal? The scene is so confusingly written to make it sound as if Gale is still in love with Mystra, but previous scenes showed he has been working on getting over it. Despite loving Mystra as the embodiment of Magic herself, Gale showed to be very aware that all that love belonged to the past (second dream), to a younger self, and even though he is not certain if he loves her still, he is clear that nothing good comes from relationships between mortals and gods (comments on Karsus). He is very explicit about desiring her forgiveness (second dream). So, there is little withholding information at this point for a Tav who pushed him to speak. Now, Gale's attitude certainly has been tactless. Not the best decision to disclose a past lover with such a degree of fascination just after sharing a night with Tav. But it's understandable since in order to “disclose” the “orb”, Gale needed to provide the context of his young love for the Goddess.

The whole scene of the Revelation seems very, very unpolished, mixing tones and confusing information that was given before and presenting it as if it were a revelation when it's not the case. It jumps from one drama concept to another, and never sticks to one, and Tav's options tend to be extreme: or the player calls this disclosure a “great betrayal”, or makes it seem as if nothing has happened, giving little options of what Tav already knows, or if they want to show a moderate annoyance since most of the information has been disclosed already, but still Gale's timing is annoying. Part of this can also be written on purpose to show what a disaster Gale is when it comes to the potential of “another abandonment” in his life. Hard to tell in EA.

Tav's romantic options react as if Gale confessed to have cheated on them, while what he explains has a different degree of conflict: he confesses he is not sure he still loves Mystra, but his lines in previous scenes show he wants to get over it, without losing his magic/relationship with Mystra, because magic is too important in Gale's life. At times, Tav's options are meant for them to react with jealousy, other times as if this were a big betrayal, or as if Gale's romantic past should have been disclosed before the night, and in the last part of the scene, Larian remembered that the “orb” could be considered a conflict too, so Tav has some occasional options to react to the “orb” as if it were a big revelation (when it's not, because we had 3 scenes, four if we include the death protocol, stating its dangerous nature). So, I personally understand why every person has a completely radical interpretation of the situation: it has been written in a rush, and I see it as very inconsistent in tone and context. This all makes sense when one remembers Kevin VanOrd stream where he explained that Gale was meant to be in the second wave of companions, and not in EA. Gale's writing was rushed and it shows in the last of his scenes and his meeting scene.

Some people may argue that talking about a previous lover right after sharing the first night is, at the least, a very bad taste. However, the player (not Tav) can understand the reason behind it: Gale started the story in order to explain in detail the "why" that has been left up in the air since the stew scene. That "why" can only be explained if Gale discloses Mystra's relationship as the origin of his mistake. So... on one hand, this disclosure right after the shared night is unfortunate for Tav (especially by picking the long version of the explanation in which Gale shares too much unnecessary detail). On the other hand, if he omits this relationship, it's harder to explain the context of why he got the “orb” in his chest.

In general I think this scene has been handled poorly. The whole “conflict” portrayed here implies two aspects: He slept with Mystra, and he has an explosive “orb” in his chest. Neither of them are truly big arguments for the drama degree that this scene seemed to have been written because we already know, to a certain degree, about them.

The “orb” is not truly “such a revelation” at this point. The stew scene alone gave Tav and the player a clear idea that something in Gale could cause a catastrophe without consuming artefacts. After the death protocol that certainty is clearer. So, these “revelations” are more like “extra details” of problems we already know about. Which is what he exactly says when introducing this scene: “Those are but the broad strokes. The time has come to paint you the true picture”.

Having past lovers seems also a strange concept for a “betrayal”. Adults carry pasts. It's true that maybe speaking of a past lover in the same moment he awoke with a recent one is in a pretty bad taste; it's a bit more understandable when you finish the scene: the origin of the “orb” problem was Gale's love for Mystra, so it makes sense to start from her. However, I see the conflict of the conversation switching constantly in three directions: the fact that Gale had a lover that didn’t talk about the previous day, that “Gale is still in love with Mystra”, and that he has an “orb” that Tav “never” knew about it. A very inconsistent conversation.

It's true that Mystra is not a standard lover—she is a goddess—but she is quite known to have these affairs (at least for the player), especially during her past when her direct contact with any human was not banned. It should be more surprising that Mystra seemed to have broken that ban for Gale's case (since she only kept in direct contact with her chosen ones: Ao's decree). And it's also clear the scene tries to show that Gale is still “in love” with her, which is very confusing with what he spoke during the Loss and mainly, during the second dream. Again, I personally feel the scenes of the party and the romance are a mess from a cohesive narrative point of view, and they are the result, alongside Gale's first meeting, of his rushed introduction into EA.

This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

#bg3 meta #bg3 gale #gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3

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paper-cuts-and-fresh-bruises · 4 years ago

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I’m back at it again, you know why? because it’s never enough. So I was watching a Nace video on youtube, it was one of those channels that does really nice edits for shows/ships (channel name is Polaris Gemini), and I found a comment under one for 2x13 (the commenters name was Risa Myers, I’ll try put a screengrab below but if I don’t just know full credit goes to this person) and to paraphrase they were saying that they feel like the writers are trying to get Nancy down enough as to parallel her mother (birth mother Lucy), basically having the town hate her like Lucy was hated in a similar way, where maybe she’ll make her way to the same cliffs where Lucy died and they might have Ace come to the rescue (bad time to say this but I mean oh my god imagine the Nace content there!). Which in a way I feel would be good to create like a coming full circle type thing, but this time having there be this opportunity to as best as I can phrase it “do it right this time” y’know? Which I think would be kind of good to see, plus it would make sense due to what 2x13 showed with Nancy when she said the word “guilt” (and looking at Ace for a bit longer than just friendly for me) when wondering why the fire souls were doing what they were doing.

Nancy is also piling the guilt on herself, thinking that she needs to put so much on herself as punishment. Which leads me to the one who I wish I didn't have to name. Gil. Her sort of “being with” him although being a classic Nancy move at this point, (especially due the guy she really wants being in a relationship with another lady) might also be something she’s doing to corner herself. Oh and before I forget, someone on twitter tried to call Ace controlling for telling Nancy that Gil isn’t the best person for her right now due to Gil being controlling and saying that doing what he did in that scene right there is controlling. They were lucky someone more composed got in there to make a reply because I was about to rip them a new one. Luckily this other person calmly pointed out that those around you including your friends especially, SHOULD point out when you have toxic people in your life and try to help you out. Besides, Ace wasn’t telling her what to do, he gave her the advice he had and didn’t force her beyond that because he knows Nancy, him getting involved any further will and has only come from a healthy place. (side note: if you find this person on twitter who said the bad thing, do not harass them, they have the right to say what they said. They’re WRONG of course but let them live. I will, along with those who say stupid shit just because they don’t ship Nace. I’ve made peace with it because I mean look at us, we’re winning!)

Anyways, I don’t know if this or anything similar will happen or whatever (at least this season) but I am as excited as ever because so far it has been a juicy ride, can’t wait to see how it turns out.

#nancy drew #nancy drew 2x13 #cwnd #nancy x ace #ace #i've never had this much fun before #shipping

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bakujho · 4 years ago

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Time to talk about Predators.

And not the cool 80s movie ones.

So a lot of people have messaged me about this, so figured it was time to make a post to address it, since I think there’s a lot of really valid concerns here. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to, had to unfuck my thoughts and figure out how to say what I needed to say. So first off, here’s the bunch of messages I’ve gotten, and a bunch of posts that make them all very valid. (you’ll have to click on the images to zoom in, i combined everything to not hit the pic limit)

I’m going to put the rest of this rant under a cut with a trigger warning for predatory behavior etc, so anyone can bow out if they’re uncomfortable.

Right off the bat, lets chat about Fictophilia. Attraction to fictional characters. Now, inherently there’s nothing wrong with this, but as we know fiction does not exist in a vacuum. So underage fictional characters exist in an odd space here, since they are not real and no one is being hurt, but the question asked was “why minor characters?”. I think honestly in this case, it’s just that the character types that are preferred happened to be underage. Since the characters (with the exception of Ortho) don’t act like children, they’re all marketed as “boyfriend types” and that’s the nature of this specific media format, which exists to sell. (Which is why it drives me so insane when people write Floyd as acting like a child just to turn around and sexualize him. GUH)

Where this becomes an issue of course, is when it’s no longer simply relating to fictional characters, and where one draws the line as an older person in fandom. I personally think ageism has no place in any fandom, there’s no reason to take up the “godmother” or parental role. We’re all here to be fucking nerds about something, so encouraging minors to approach and interact is something I find SUPER weird. There were a LOT of messages I received from people that had run-ins with Caly/Misa as minors, and THAT is where it becomes problematic. Adding in the support of Vic stuff, despite the hundreds of allegations of sexual misconduct against him (from minors and adults alike), makes me incredibly weary about how she acts around minors.

edit: have been informed this is an old screenshot and no longer applies, though I’m leaving it here anyway cause Vic has been a creep since day 1.

Obviously minors exist in every fandom, but as adults, we need to be mindful of how we interact with them. Straight up, some conversations or thoughts shouldn’t be made public in a space shared by minors. I do not give a single fuck if you wanna sit on Azul’s lap, but PLEASE be aware of your place in the fandom and your IRL age when saying so.

It’s inappropriate to drop your lewd thoughts into a space accessible to all, save it for an adults only discord server or something.

On that sort of tangent, if you want to daydream about a fictional life with fictional characters as an adult, don’t do it with a self insert...or an OC that is very clearly a self insert as evidenced by these

Constantly complaining that people avoid you because you’re older is bullshit and everyone knows it.

People are uncomfortable with the way you conduct yourself in the public space, and how you present your not-self-insert-that-is-very-clearly-a-self-insert is what makes people weary. There are plenty of adults in the fandom, and from my experience, none of them have set off alarm bells in the same way. On that note, I will say once again to everyone, PLEASE curate your content. Unfollow people that make you uncomfortable, and if there’s questionable things posted that really make your skin crawl, block that person. If you have been following them in the past, you don’t need to feel bad about unfollowing. You don’t owe anyone anything, especially not a follow. And if you’re afraid of unfollowing/blocking for any reason, don’t be. If anyone comes after you for drawing personal boundaries, all the more reason to have cut that person from your life.

I did want to chat about a few extra things about that initial post, and just mention how shit it is to try and discredit other coping mechanisms in the same breadth as why YOURS is fine. Now, obviously liquor, drugs, etc are very serious addictions, BUT any coping mechanism when taking to the extreme can be unhealthy. Self harm comes in many forms, and they can all be destructive if they completely control your life (this includes collecting merch. If you can’t pay your bills but are buying merch there’s a problem). Also, there were some EXCELLENT points made off of the initial post that inspired this post in the first place, so instead of trying to paraphrase I’ll just post em.

I’m also working on a post about predatory behavior and how it’s not always sexual in nature, with signs to look out for to keep yourself safe. That’ll have to wait til tomorrow though, since it’s 4am, and I’m not awake enough to really dive into rn, but stay tuned.

#gravedigging #this took me fucking forever #had like 14 drafts of stuff #but yea #caly stay away from kids #i know they're easier targets #but fuck off #it's gross #and i still have so many fucking problems with that first post #but every time i tried to address them in drafts i ended up rambling forever

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minuteminx · 4 years ago

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Preston Garvey and Asexuality

Alrighty folx, I have had notes for a post scattered about for a while now, just waiting to have the time/energy/motivation to write it, and what it turns out I needed was an impetus. I recently watched Oxhorn’s Preston analysis on YouTube (I know, I know three years late! I KNOW), and while I’m not here to drag him because his analyses are always generally on point, I took some of his notes about Preston’s character and romance to my core, which is what I’m here to talk about.

For those of you all who don’t know me, or who haven’t known me for very long: Hi, I’m Allison and I am asexual. It’s taken too many years to learn that about myself, especially when we’re baptized in hetero- and allo-normativity as soon as we’re born. I’ve especially found that media is particularly bad about portraying asexuality, and that people often react to it in a negative way because they don’t understand it.

While no doubt unintentionally so, Preston is one of the first romanceable video game charactes who felt like true representation to me. I am sad that I didn’t play this game when it came out because of that. Of course I have my ace!Preston headcanons, but watching Oxhorn’s reaction to Preston’s romance made me realize that the way fans react to Preston is also so relatable and I just really wanted to talk about it. I’m going to put the rest behind a read more to save everyone’s feed.

I’m not going to lie, I was surprised when Oxhorn’s video went from an amazing, in depth, and on-point analysis of Preston’s character to an explanation as to why Preston is not an attractive romance option. I was waiting and expecting the typical “oh, he’s too nice” or “oh, he’s so boring,” or “RADIANT QUESTS.” And those reasons came, but the initial explanation he provided is the following (paraphrased because I can’t bring myself to rewatch the video to find it):

Preston is one of the most admirable men in your entourage, and that's what makes him unattractive. It's good to have someone love you because they admire you and what you do, but it's better when someone loves you because they crave you.

He goes on further to explain how Preston seems to “overlook” all of those “physical,” “animalistic” components that are “essential to romantic love.” He also says that his sincerity and devotion to the Minutemen make him feel as if he is not a very well-rounded person, and therefore he could not possibly be good at loving another human being (Lol WHAT?).This is followed by a montage of all of Preston’s Lover’s Embrace lines as proof of his lack of understanding of romance.

Again, I’m not here to blast Oxhorn. I really like a lot of his content, and I honestly don’t blame him for making these assumptions. For some 99% of people, those would be fair assumptions to make; however, the very things he criticizes Preston for in love, are the things that make him one of my all time faves.

In talking to a buddy about this, the point came up that there is always some sort of self-representation in the characters that become “those” characters for us, and the reason that I choose to romance Preston is not because he’s a beautiful man (he is, but so are other characters!). It’s because to my eyes, Preston loves how I love.

Asexual folx often get a bad rap for being frigid, boring, unaffectionate, standoffish, undateable, naive, weird, alien, robotic, and any other adjective I’ve heard thrown at me and other aces over the years. People who experience sexual attraction react viscerally when someone is not sexually attracted to them. It feels like an affront. How, after all, can you love someone and not be sexually attracted to them?

Lack of sexual attraction, however, does not mean lack of physical attraction, romantic attraction, emotional attraction, sexual desire, or sexual behavior (at least not for all aces. Some people are repulsed by sex, but others are indifferent or even favorable to having sex! It’s just an activity that people who date sometimes do, right?) Anyway, the lack of sexual attraction or even the lack of desire to have sex does not mean that asexual people are unaffectionate, undateable, or that they need and want companionship any less. It also doesn’t mean that they are incapable of loving other people and meeting their needs too.

So, anyway, back to Preston....

I knew that I was going to romance him when I first met him. Actually, I worried that he wasn’t romanceable when I first met him and had to rush to the wiki to make sure that he was. He just gives off ace vibez. While it’s not a solely asexual trait to be attracted to someone based off of who they are and what they do, rather than “animalistic” reasons (honestly that comment is offensive to allosexual people too. I date an allo person and he is not like that??), I could immediately tell that Preston would be that kind of person.

In completing his romance, the flirt option we get is to give him a compliment, to tell him that you learned to be a good person from doing what he does. You don’t make any suggestive remarks, winky winks, or anything. And all of his affinity talks are him telling you how awesome he thinks you are. (It can actually become somewhat of a “you,” “no you,” “no you,” “no you to infinity” type deal sometimes which is cute af).

Then when you ask him if he’s ever thought about being more than friends, he says “If you’re asking if I’ve ever thought about you romantically, the answer is yes.” Romantically. Which you may take it for what it is OR you may take it as this being a man who hasn’t envisioned you naked. He hasn’t thought about what it might be like to sleep with you (aside from literally sleeping with you). This is someone who admires you, who wants to be with you because he thinks you’re like, the coolest person ever. You make him happy. (Again, none of this exclusive to ace people, but it is pretty characteristic of ace-spec people who have romantic attraction).

Preston is surprised that you love him back. Oxhorn’s theory is that he feels unworthy of the affection of his personal hero, which I agree with. I also think that it can be attributed to the fact that he’s not accustomed to being “enough” or for having enough to offer to a romantic partner. Another rather ace-spec characteristic.

Something that also stood out to me, which Oxhorn used as evidence of his boring, lack of animalistic desires, is the fact that only one of his Lover’s Embrace remarks could even possibly be construed as sexual in nature. “Mmm. That was nice.” Which could mean the sharing of a nice, intimate moment with the person he loves OR just a good sleep. That man does not sleep enough, and you can’t tell me he does.

All of this to say that I am clinging so hard to this asexual headcanon because it means a lot to me, and it’s important! I didn’t really realize how much until I watched this video that basically used arguments against Preston that have been lobbed at me throughout the years. (And this is not even to mention all of the “one-dimensional character,” “nice is boring” remarks that Sent Me). It made me feel some sort of way and I wanted to talk about it. /End Rant.

#asexuality #asexuality positive #preston garvey #preston garvey positive #critical post #rant #long post #kinda meta

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evitachristine · 4 years ago

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Anti-Hophie Rant

So I finally finished reading One True King, and this is what I have to say. It’s long.

WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Before I get into this, just a small warning: If Hophie is your OTP and embodiment of perfection, this text is not for you. I will not argue with anyone, alright?

To start this off, in my opinion OTK is the weakest of the series. It just feels like a connection between the last book and the fact that Tedros has to become the King. Some might argue that the second book was the worst, well, I disagree. It’s not just because Hophie happens here, but I kind of believe that when the internet spoiled to me that my hated ship was going to happen (because I had to wait until the book comes out in my country), I was expecting more from it. That I would actually be convinced it’s meant to be, which didn’t happen. Also the execution of some characters (Ahem...Merlin) was just...why. It seemed to me that there were a lot of other fan services in this book, apart from Hort and Sophie getting together, but more about that later.

I need to remember this for good, and next time I become a fan of something, I will avoid its fanbase. I do not mean to offend anyone, but a fanbase can really ruin a platform, especially when the platform is still developping and the fanbase is influencing it, which I believe did happen a lot with SGE. I will not deny that a fandom can improve such thing - that is definitely true as well - but sometimes the line between improving and ruining is slim, and if it doesn’t ruin the platform, then it might ruin a couple of fans’ experience of it.

Now to the point of me hating Hophie.

As I mentioned in my previous post, and above. When I discovered the fandom and found out that people are shipping Hort and Sophie, I asked myself “But why? Sophie doesn’t like Hort.” and I kind of thought this was a joke or a meme ship. I always ship characters where both sides have at least a visible bit of attraction towards each other. Whether its friends to lovers or enemies to lovers. Hophie, until the last book and half, was not the case. It was a typical example of unrequited crush, Sophie once only used Hort to make Tedros jealous. But if my mind isn’t tricking me, she was always disgusted by him and even during their first encounter, he attempted to harass her! And the fact that “they were still kids back then” is not an excuse to me.

Allow me to make a slight turn from SGE. When I was about 8-10, my mum took me to see an opera called Turandot. I will not bother you with opera, but long story short: A princess is very beautiful and a lot of men want to marry her. So she is giving everyone three questions, if they answer incorrectly, they are executed. Everyone are getting executed until a prince in disguise arrives and is in love with her, answers all questions correctly. Princess doesn’t want to marry him tho, so he asks her to guess his name and if she succeeds, he will gladly die. The princess doesn’t feel love at all and doesn’t want to fall in love. She believes she is a saint. Then in a dramatic duet the prince kisses her and ALL OF SUDDEN the princess falls in love with him.

Whew. Sorry, I tried to make this as short as possible. I remember asking my mum after this: “Why is the girl always forced to love the boy?” Little me didn’t like this idea of a “magical kiss” already, lol. Mum’s answer was “Because it was written by a boy.”, but that’s not even my point here. Do you see the pattern? Girl keeps refusing guy but in the end he still gets her. THIS RIGHT HERE is the main reason why I hate Hophie. It reinforces the stereotype that if a guy is persistent enough, he will get the girl even if she said no a million times.

Another note I’d like to say about this, and I’m going to receive hate for this opinion. I started book 1 when I was 16. Now I’m in my early twenties and I get that most SGE readers are still teenagers. The age of crushes, clumsy love experiments, etc. OK now I sound like a grandma. But I think this is where Hophie stems from. Everyone are seeing themselves in Hort. Your crush doesn’t like you back, his crush doesn’t like him back. Something like Éponine in Les Misérables. If Marius and Sophie both fall in love with the person who likes them, it’s like the crush of the fan does. Can we call this the Hort-Éponine complex?

Aside from that, I believe that people who already experienced both sides of unrequited love (like yours truly grandma, right here), meaning Sophie’s side of it, are less likely to support such ships.

I will now dive into the OTK “resolution” of this pairing. First let me just say, this book made me, if not hate, then at least strongly dislike Hort’s character. The first half of the book and even a some time after before he finally gets with Sophie, his character is disgusting to me. He is so obsessed with her, even while he’s still dating Nicola. As in my previous post, it’s like a huge part of his character is only “I LOVE SOPHIE”. While he’s still with Nicola, he never fails to mention “his FRIEND Sophie”. I will now paraphrase because I read a translation, not the original, but even when Hort’s singing to the guards to distract them so Agatha and Tedros can sneak into the Library, he sings something along the lines “Girlfriend Nikki and friend Soph”. I’m not sure if this was meant to convince the reader that Sophie ending up with Hort is a good idea, but with me, it did the exact opposite.

In general, their “romance” feels extremely rushed to me. Compared to Sophie’s previous love interests, regardless of who they were as people, these two have zero chemistry. It seems as if Sophie decided to settle because there was no other guy for her. And the description of her suddenly being in love with him, as mentioned above, is another of those “magical kiss” stories. It is hardly believable and kind of... shallow.

There even were several moments when Rafal was mentioned. In COT, when the protagonists wanted to flee Camelot but Sophie decided to stay, she saw Hort flying to her and she mistook him for Rafal. Goodness. Even in OTK there were a few moments when it seemed that Sophie still has issues from that relationship. Very few, but they were there.

Therefore I refuse to believe that the reason for this was anything other than to satisfy the majority of the fandom. In addition, the entire book feels like one huge “fan service”, as other ships are “sailing” as well. We have Hestadil and Bogden/Willam, but these two are at least believable. Hestadil started, even tho inconspicously, two books ago, and it resolved naturally. And beforehand they were close friends, so there’s that. As for the boys, they were side characters, so we can only think that all resolved while they were off the scene.

To sum it up, I thought of three different endings I’d prefer for Sophie.

On the first place, this was mentioned several times by other people, is that she should have stayed on her own. That happened in TLEA, but this time, really. I hated that OTK made it seem that she really needs a partner. Yes, love, but heck... is romantic love the only thing that is out there? How about friendship? Content with oneself? Pursuing hobbies that you love? Freedom? Come on. Awesome characters that end up single AND ARE HAPPY should have more representation. And I think Sophie would have been amazing like that.

On the second place I have two things. First, Sophie with a girl. Only I’m not sure who. Maybe Nicola, or Betty if she survived. Or maybe, people might hate me for this, but... Dot? I don’t ship it but I think it could have been cute. Maybe they would start off getting closer as friends and the rest would be left up to the reader’s imagination.

The other preferable ending I have at second place was originally on the third place, but some weird nostalgia overcame me when reading OTK and I had to move it up. People will hate me. But if Sophie should end up with a guy, it should have been Rhian. Yes, I know what you are thinking right now. But think about it. That guy really believed he was Arthur’s son. Imagine if he found out the truth. Something tells me it would be really hard for him at first, but in the end, if he found out that Japeth really only wants Aric, he could’ve joined the protagonists. In my opinion Sophie had the best dynamic with him, before it all spiralled downwards with snakes etc. Maybe he could pretend to help his twin but in the end... I believe I read something like this somewhere on Tumblr as well. Also this kind of feels as if it could have been Soman’s original plan before he turned to pleasing the fans. Or maybe I’m just fantasising too much. Regardless of how much you’re cursing me right now, I believe Rhian deserved better and shouldn’t have died. After all, he was the better twin.

As for Hort, well, before OTK I didn’t really care for his character, I didn’t dislike him but he wasn’t my favourite. I simply wished him well hoping he’ll get over Sophie so he can be happy, either with Nicola/someone else, or on his own. After the last book made me resent him, I’m not sure. He could have died, but I know that is cruel.

He could have been slowly realising that he doesn’t need Sophie, his love would fade away, maybe Nicola could break up with him in the process, then they would get back together, at a natural pace, realisation, etc. Or they wouldn’t, or they wouldn’t break up at all, just separate on different missions, and then reunite and realise they were truly meant to be together all along.

Whew, if you made it here, congratulations. If you read this as a Hophie shipper, I’m not taking away your opinion. I just needed to let this out. Hope we can respect each other.

...But I still kinda wish we could get another version of OTK where Hophie doesn’t happen.

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serendipitous-magic · 4 years ago

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You might've talked about this already, but any tips for writer's block???

(Disclaimer: many of these are paraphrased from writing advice I've seen and liked myself, but can't for the life of me remember where I saw it or who said it.)

1) For existing stories: have a plan. Even if you’re someone who doesn’t like planning stories, have the most basic of skeleton plans. You don’t have to come up with the whole plan at once, and you don’t have to plan every little detail. But when you think of a plot point or scene or detail or whatever that you want to use later in the story, jot it down. Don’t count on yourself to remember it. You won’t.

And if you’re a person that hates planning stories, don’t think of it as a plan. Just think of it as saving the ideas you want to use later.

-_-

2) Write down your daydreams.

No, seriously. One of my biggest challenges in writing is that when I’m trying too hard, nothing happens. My best ideas happen when my brain is just playing, not even writing, just like... Going off on intangible adventures while I wash the dishes and listen to music. I’ll surface from some complicated daydream about a band of cowboys staging a horseback rescue mission for a friend being held prisoner on a moving locomotive, ending with the horse leaping over a narrow canyon Spirit style, and suddenly I’m like “wait, shit, this is good.” This applies for individual scenes, but also plot - the same thing often happens (to me at least) for larger plot points. I’ll be happily daydreaming a scene and suddenly one of the characters tearfully says, “I expected this from the others. I did. But from you? My own brother?” And I’m like WHOA WAIT, THEY’RE SIBLINGS? PLOT TWIST! And like... sometimes that shit makes it into the actual story I’m writing (or I write it down and save it for a future story) and becomes a major part of the plot, lol.

Point being, the things you come up with when you’re not even trying - when you’re just having fun, fucking around in the fandom or in whatever various universes you’ve created in your brain (anyone else? No? Just me?) - those effortless ideas are often some of the best ones. Because of how human brains work, it can be really, really hard to force yourself to make something good.

So if you’re just happily daydreaming, and you find yourself thinking, “Damn, this is actually pretty good,” write it down. You might be able to use it later.

-_-

3) If you’re in the middle of a story / scene and you get hit with writers’ block, or you find yourself rewriting the same sentence or paragraph or page over and over, or simply feel unable to continue forward - your problem is not that sentence / paragraph / page, it’s several sentences / paragraphs / pages back.

For example: if you can’t seem to figure out what a character should say next, first try the usual thing and plan ahead. Where does this conversation need to go? What needs to be revealed? What emotional beats need to occur? What information needs to pass from character to character? Does it need to continue? Maybe you just need to cut the scene or have the next plot point happen there.

But if none of that (the “usual stuff”) is working, don’t look ahead, look back. Your problem is probably actually a few lines ago. The conversation meandered too far from what it was supposed to be, or the conversation could have been three lines and it just kept going on for two pages after the plot point ended, or you’re not sure what the emotional beats of the scene are supposed to be so you’re floundering.

When trying to move forward isn’t working, look back instead. Mid-story writers’ block is often a sign that something went awry a little while ago, and you’re seeing the symptoms now. The stubborn paragraph is the check-engine light, not the engine itself. Go back and read over the last page (or more, depending on how big the issue is) and see if you can feel out what the issue is. Did the plot point end two or three pages ago and you just never stopped the scene? Are you relying too much on action and dialogue but forgot to describe the scene as it goes on, so it’s all happening in kind of a vague gray void? Did you get into a rut of repetitive sentence structure because you lost the flow a while ago, and now you’re just cranking out words mechanically?

-_-

4) Don’t be afraid to write “stupid version:” at the top of the page and just go for it, in the most cheesy, over-the-top, bad, obvious, flat, boring, illogical, improbable, unbelievable way. Or whatever way ends up coming out of you. You can go back and fix it once you’ve found the ideas you want to hold onto. Remember, “the first draft (whether that’s for the entire story, or just a draft of a single scene, or a single page, or a single paragraph) is for making it exist. The second draft is for making it functional. The third draft is for making it effective.” (I’m paraphrasing and I don’t remember where that quote came from, I’m sorry.)

-_-

5) If you’re having writers’ block on in coming up with new ideas, here are some things that work for me:

-Write down your daydreams (see above)

-Listen to music. Soundtracks and video game music are great because they’re designed to support a narrative, and to almost tell a story of their own. But, like, any music. I often end up making little “trailers” in my head when I listen to songs I’m currently taken with, and sometimes I’m like “Hey those could be some good elements for an actual story.”

-Look back at old notes for story ideas, if you keep any

-Or, look through any medium you use to save ideas - playlists, pinterest boards, art, whatever.

-Consume other content. I know that’s old advice that literally everyone gives, but hey, it works. You’re great and your brain is great, but you are not a closed ecosystem. You can’t just keep creating, growing, thriving all on your own without taking in and integrating other people’s ideas. Read something. Watch something. Read fanfic, see what the fandom’s up to. Reintroduce yourself to an old favorite with new eyes, or seek out something you’ve never seen before. Watch one of those old classic black and white movies that you never got around to watching. Read a book in a genre you don’t usually read. Find a terrible, I mean truly awful show and watch it with someone you can laugh with. Look at art. Ask the people in your life about their passions and their weird little cornerstones of knowledge.

-Give yourself time. Let yourself percolate. Let yourself think.

-Write yourself into an idea. Open up that dreaded blank page, switch to red ink, and just start typing like “Okay so it’s a werewolf story I think but not one of those pulp romances with the Alpha Wolf or whatever shit, I think I like the idea that it’s about the pack dynamic, so like a family story? But maybe the main character is a human. Do they get adopted by the pack for some reason? Why? Maybe they like... saved one of the pups or something. How did the pup end up in danger?” Etc.

6) It’s hard to force your brain to be interested in something it’s not currently interested in. If you’ve been super into sci fi and are all about Star Wars and Firefly right now, but you’ve been meaning to write a gritty crime mystery for like ever... you’re probably gonna have a hard time writing a gritty crime fiction if all your brain wants to think about is spaceships. (Unless you set the gritty crime mystery in a sci-fi setting 👀)

Trying to control your muse is like trying to leash a cat. You’re probably gonna have way greater success (and way more fun) if you just write whatever the hell you wanna write, whether that’s a 300K spy drama or another fake dating AU for your OTP even though you’ve already written two. (I promise you, nobody’s ever gonna get tired of it.)

#asks #anon #writing advice #writers block #writeblr #writing #fanfiction writing #original writing #creative writing

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topaziraphale · 5 years ago

Note

the same people who hc aziraphale as being weak/not being a warrior are the same people who LOVE crowley being this super suave tempter. hello, the whole POINT of good omens is that they are neither of what they are expected to be. aziraphale rejects his role as a warrior, but that does not mean he is weak. crowley's job is to be a this suave, amazing tempter, but meanwhile he's just Anxious. aziraphale is Strong and crowley is a tempter, its just not in the way their sides want them to be.

I think a big part that plays into the charm of these two main characters is exactly that - at first, you have certain ideas for how an angel and demon character might act, especially with how they’re normally depicted in pop culture and stuff, but then you quickly learn that they’re just not quite what you’re expecting. Aziraphale and Crowley both subvert the audience’s expectations of them as well as what is expected of them by the other characters - in this case, Heaven and Hell respectively.

This actually ended up being way longer of an answer than I thought it would, so I’m putting the rest of it under a cut. For those that don’t feel like reading it all and just want a summary:

I basically talk about how Crowley puts up an element of coolness and style in what he does as a demon except for when it comes to direct temptations, and then I offer a little mini-dive into his psyche and how there’s a lot of vulnerability underneath his Cool And Definitely Not-Nice persona. Then I talk about how Aziraphale is in fact a soldier of Heaven, one who is capable of being a warrior, and how him not wanting to fight in the war is not a display of weakness, but rather one of great strength.

Also, all of the quotes I use here are from memory, so there’s a chance some of them aren’t exact.

When Crowley does his job, he does it with elements of coolness and style to it. (Note: What he perceives as cool, because some of the stuff he finds cool is actually kinda dorky. In a lovable way, of course.) But that’s for when he has his next big idea on how to generate petty low-grade evil. It’s how we end up with him cutting off a phone network by infesting a building with rats and using the guise of a technician to waltz in there and pour coffee into a cable-box-thingy, rather than him just snapping his fingers and making the networks go down that way. The ladder method is boring and not very cool.

But you’ll notice he doesn’t approach direct temptations the same way. I can see where one might think he puts as much effort into being cool and suave when it comes to making temptations, due to the way he presents himself, but honestly, all he really does is just make you see something in a different light. He just, talks. Talks and makes really good points.

“What about diabolical plans? You’re supposed to thwart the wiles of the wicked one at every turn, aren’t you? You can’t be certain that thwarting me isn’t part of the Divine Plan?”

“If there was no boy, then the process would stop. There’s a boy now, but that could change. Something could happen to him. I’m saying you could kill him. One life, for everything else.”

There’s no suave element in the way he does it, not much finesse. No extra fluff. He’s just saying what needs to be said, to make sure his idea is getting across. And it’s also fun to note that these acts of temptation are for Aziraphale - in fact, I don’t think we see him tempt humans at all after Eve. He’d rather set up elaborate schemes to ruin peoples’ days over actively participate in an act that could directly damn their souls.

Sometimes, you have to wonder why he goes through so much effort to be this way when he knows that he’ll get in trouble for not doing his job...

Crowley puts up a front that he’s confident and content with what he is and the job he has to do. He always tries to play the act of a cool, stylish, perfect demon that is mean and evil and most definitely not a nice person. But we can see that underneath it all, he never meant to fall, and he’s still upset about it. He still doesn’t understand why it happened for what he did, and he knows he never will. He doesn’t like that the answer for it all is always chalked up to: It’s part of the Great Plan. We see him project the wrath of God onto his houseplants. We see him directly call out the nature of the Plan more than once, in the show.

I’ll even argue that he’s somewhat projecting onto Adam and Eve when he talks about how God punished them in the garden, when he first speaks to Aziraphale: “Bit of an overreaction, if you ask me. First offense, and everything.”

Aziraphale, being an angel, is clearly part of the army of Heaven and is expected in battle. We even get reminded of this by the many times people ask him where the flaming sword is, and by Gabriel telling him he’s a mean, lean, fighting-machine. And once more when the Quartermaster informs him that his platoon is waiting for him - they wouldn’t be waiting for him if he wasn’t their lieutenant. The script book even implies his strength and power. To paraphrase the line:

“He’s not threatening him (Crowley) with it (the flaming sword), just reminding him that he can do dangerous and very out-of-character things if he needs to.”

And in the novel itself, it’s implied that after all this time, Aziraphale still has what it takes to fight if he absolutely must, when he picks up the sword in preparation to fight off Satan himself.

“Once you’ve learned how to do it, you never forget.”

There’s no reason to think he doesn’t easily have the ability to be a warrior. And not only a warrior, but a strong one, at that.

Here’s the thing with Aziraphale: he doesn’t want to participate in this fight. He thinks it’s wrong, but he can’t admit it to himself, he can’t just outright say it. He jumps through plenty of mental hoops to try and find reason in the fact that Heaven wants Armageddon to happen.- he thinks his people might just be misguided, their intentions are good, sure, but he wants to show them that this way is better, that there doesn’t need to be another war, that they can save everyone. The beings of Heaven are always Good, right? For him to fully admit that what he thinks they’re doing is wrong is to also admit the flaws of his own angelic nature, that he’s just as capable of wrong, and that’s a terrifying thought. Look at how desperately he wants it all to work out:

But when push came to shove, and the entire world was at stake, and Heaven was all for it to happen despite Aziraphale’s efforts to show them otherwise, he had enough. He chose to not go back to Heaven to fight in the war. He chose to try and save the world, despite his actions being perceived as going directly against the Great Plan. In the series, he literally puts his foot down, looks the Quartermaster in the eye, and tells him: “I have no intention of fighting in any war. I was in the middle of something important, I demand to be returned!” And when nobody was helping him, he went and figured out how to get back himself. He finally had the strength to choose for himself what he thought was right over what was wrong.

I get confused and, even sometimes think to myself, Did we watch the same show?, when I see people interpret Aziraphale’s reluctance to fight as a sign of weakness or passiveness. That very decision he makes, after millennia of not daring to defy his superiors like that, took a lot of courage. It’s quite literally the heart of his character arc.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #derpy answers #good omens meta #i have no idea how i ended up ranting but here we are lol #you definitely got more than you bargained for when sending this ask anon im sorry skdjfskdjghs #derpy analyses

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dannineedsfriends · 5 years ago

Text

I'm so sorry for this - I originally wasn't going to post but I feel obligated to give some content, even if it isn't much. All I can say is that I tried and hopefully I'll get back on track soon.

Words: 1238

Trigger warning: sadness, sex euphemisms/innuendos

Waking up next to him never truly felt right.

It was cold, and even with his arms around her, Catherine felt so displaced, so out of her body. The place in his arms that she was filling was supposed to be occupied by another; anyone - anyone other than her so that she could stay alone in her room.

Her room felt better, with all of its pages and candles, the pale grey paper that lined the walls felt much more comfortable than stale cream of his ever did. When she craved touch, she returned to her desk, to continue her endless scrawl, her search, her letters for something just beyond her reach. Something too complex to fathom.

Love.

Was it truly love that she felt when she lusted to be in his bed? Was it love that drew her back to his quarters no matter how hard she willed herself not? Was it love at all? -or was it just sadness.

Perhaps it was the sadness that reeled her back to him, the leaching demon of her self expression lurking just past the doors of moving on, waiting to pounce and reduce her to the shell of a woman, of a girl, that she was once before. The sadness, her best friend, her worst enemy. The one that consoled her on the nights in cold sheets, the one to wrap its arms around her and let her cry until she could no more, her only company in her life spent lonely.

Catherine saw it in the shadows, even on the days with the brightest, scorching blaze of day whenever she withdrew to the shade, the irking doubt came waltzing in, taking her hand and dancing with her fragile hope until the break of dawn.

That was until she met the girl with the sun in her smile.

Anne Boleyn was a girl she met when she tumbled through the doors, 15 minutes after the lecture had started on the first day. She was rather petite, having thrown herself into the seat next to Catherine, hoping (and succeeding) in taking the notes that were within the taller girl's books.

It was a tradition that she was late, Parr was the find out. That was why she was never scolded, or reprimanded, because her consistent high grade compensated for her absence. And each day, one after the other, she sacrificed her notes to the feisty girl, watching her as she desperately paraphrased her sentences in an immaculate effort to catch up.

She had nice handwriting, too. It was strange - but Catherine would love to have as good a penmanship as she did. Though frantic, her letters and formation remained uniform, a constant through the distress.

Parr found herself confiding in this girl, exchanging contacts, sliding her post-its with soft grins.

The way Anne's pen formed her name made her stomach sink and her toes curl, and her voice when she had begun her expedition for permission to call her 'Cathy'.

Soon after granting her the title, the Cathy disappeared, and it was replaced with mon cœur, most often. Sometimes mon amour, ma chérie, if Anne was feeling nice.

That was what had brought her to Anne's flat, to where she lived alone, sustaining herself on microwaveable food, her studies and her art work.

One of the more prominent features of Anne's environment was that it was covered in art, paintings and sketches and intricate linings of silhouettes and figures. The coverings beneath didn't particularly matter because the walls were full of life: they told the story of Boleyn.

"What does this one mean?" Parr asks, one day, voice low and gentle, not wanting to rouse the other girl too much. There's a soft swish of air before she appears next to her, a grin peaking her lips. The painting was of a tree, large and bulky and streaking down the page. Strokes of paint are large and blotchy, though only the tree; the remaining scenery, the entire left side of the page, was completely made with the smallest brush. It was a sky of deep orange that blends to perfection to a fading yellow, and shaded with tinted clouds rolling alone a sole horizon. Water below it reflects the gorgeous golden hue of the vastness above. Though it was far from realistic, it was passionate, and the images seem so surreal but so familiar, so close but so far.

"I painted that after the first class of this year." Anne beams, peeling the paper upwards to reveal the flipside, showing a mess of swatches and the date it was made, plus the name of the piece. 'Her.'

"It was the first day I spoke to you!" She shakes her head, the stupid grin not quite leaving her cheeks. "I remember thinking something about how long your legs were- all good- don't worry- I'm not complaining- but- and then just how beautiful you were. You were so effortless and natural and you were just there. A goddess in the midst of people. A tree amongst the ocean."

"Strangely insightful." Catherine stoops, tilting her head towards the Boleyn girl. "Do all of your works have such deep meaning?"

"Nah. Most of 'em are just 'cause I got bored and inspired when no-one would give me attention."

"Still a story, nonetheless." She says with a shrug, eyes falling to the wall again. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful your drawings are? They look like they have been crafted to perfection by an angel."

"That's because they were, duh." She teases, taking Parr's sleeve between her index and her thumb, pulling her to the sofa, where she folds herself, allowing the taller girl to sit across from her.

Catherine's lips never waver from their smile. "Are we watching a film?"

"Mhm! Go ahead, mon amour, put whatever you want on." Without fail, every time Anne spoke a word of French a shiver slathered down her spine. The way her voice changed, her tone shifted to account for the foreign language- the way it rolled off of her tongue like it was natural for her. Still, Catherine manifested with the remote after she had bent to get it, flicking the TV on and scrolling through Netflix, finding a true-crime documentary and settling into the arm of the sofa.

While she was so infatuated with the screen, Anne took the time to pick up a pad of paper and a charcoal pencil, and in time, depicting the love of her life onto the paper, from her shoulder blades to the curls of her hair to her fingertips, resting against a leg. The straps of her shirt falling down her arm, resting. Catherine didn't have to pose for beauty, she didn't have to pose for her to be a muse. Catherine just had to be.

She had caught her, and had smiled and kissed her hands and her lips and her neck in a gift of thanks in the hours afterwards. Her Anne, whose hands were gifted with the talent of artistic expression (and many other things, she'd discover).

Waking up next to her felt so, very right.

It was warm, and she would wrap her arms around Anne after too long of who-knows-what. She felt a home around Anne: a place of belonging and occupancy, where they were neither themselves nor each other - just lovers, loving in the only way they knew how to.

Together.

#parrlyn if you squint #parrleyn #it could be parrlyn idk man #parrlyn #catherine parr x anne boleyn #anne boleyn #parr x boleyn #six the musical #boleyn x parr #six #six fanfiction #catherine parr #catherine x anne #anne x catherine

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shitty-check-please-aus · 5 years ago

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2020 Books Read So Far

Note: Most of these are audiobooks (listening to books counts as reading books and if you disagree I’d ask you to consider why you believe that), books I started and didn’t finish will be listed but not reviewed, and all my opinions are extremely subjective. I’m putting this on this blog because I want to and I think it’ll help me keep track of what I’ve read if I write it down in a couple places.

Some notes:

I’m surprised that most of these are nonfiction! I don’t usually think of myself as a nonfiction reader.

Having audiobooks has made me way more productive as a reader, since I can read while I’m doing repetitive tasks at work, when I have to stand on the bus, when I’m running, etc.

Naked, by David Sedaris

3/5, the audiobook was “unabridged selections” which means “we didn’t edit the individual essays but you’re only getting half the book”– it would probably have been a 4/5 if it was a whole book. I liked that Amy Sedaris was reading parts of it, but that’s because I like her more than I like her brother. This is sort of an example of the difference between “comedic” and “humorous,” because it’s definitely the latter.

Read it if: you want to read something pretty fucking weird.

Lafayette in the Somewhat United States, by Sarah Vowell

4/5, I saw this recommended a lot when Hamilton first came out so it’s been in the back of my mind for a good while. The book had a great cast, and having different people reading the historical quotes was an excellent touch!

However, I think Vowell’s conversational style is a little jarring here sometimes. It’s like “wait, why are you talking about Bruce Springsteen, I’m not that familiar with his work but he definitely isn’t from Revolutionary War times.” I got her book Assassination Vacation at a used bookshop recently as well, and both books suffer from post-2016 hindsight, where she’ll say something about how incompetent and foolish the politicians of her time are, and I just have to snort to myself and say “Sarah, you’re going to lose your goddamn mind soon.” That’s a bit of an unfair reaction, but it’s hard to avoid having it.

I was also, maybe unfairly, expecting to learn more than I did. The problem is that I know a Lot about the Revolutionary War, and from the introduction I thought we’d hear more about Lafayette’s later life (my knowledge drops sharply after about 1810). The book basically ends after the Battle of Yorktown, though.

Read it if: you have not seen/listened to both Hamilton and 1776, or if you want to read a summary of the Revolutionary War with a focus on one French captain.

Assassination Vacation, by Sarah Vowell

3/5, honestly maybe a 2.5/5. Okay, so. Either I know a lot more about American History than I felt like I did or this is again a very surface level thing. Part of it is because she spends 123 pages on Abe Lincoln. There are 255 pages total. 2/3 of the states I’ve lived in are Indiana and Illinois, two states that fight about claiming Lincoln as their own, and I’ve been to D.C. 4 or 5 times, so I feel like I know enough about Lincoln. I know about John Wilkes Booth, and his brother Edwin who saved Lincoln’s son’s life, and the death train that took Lincoln’s body around the country. I did enjoy learning about the doctor who was probably conspiring with Booth and how he ended up saving tons of lives in prison when there was a yellow fever outbreak (also to be briefly unbearably nitpicky: I think she might have mixed up dengue and yellow fever? She calls yellow fever “breakbone” but I can only find instances online of people calling dengue fever that. Maybe they called them all breakbone in the late 1800s. If anyone reading this is an epidemiologist, let me know).

It was interesting to hear that Charles Guiteau, killer of President Garfield, was part of the Oneida cult. I’m trying to think of anything notable she said about Leon Czolgosz, killer of President McKinley. I guess she talks about how people assumed he was a foreigner because of his name, but I already listened to “The Ballad of Czolgosz” in Assassins, so I knew “Czolgosz, angry man, born in the middle of Michigan.”

This one is from 2005 so the politics stuff is a little more interesting, since at the time I was busy learning multiplication and spending one entire baseball season learning about baseball and following my team (they won the world series, I have excellent timing). I will say that in 2005 we did have Google, so I am again annoyed with some of her asides and personal anecdotes. Look, if you go to the Hemingway house and you don’t know there will be cats there, that’s on you if you don’t bring your Claritin. Hemingway is associated with only two good things, six-toed cats and Daiquiris.

She also does not acknowledge that the parties basically switched platforms? Lincoln’s Republican party is not today’s Republican party, in fact kind of the opposite, so it’s weird that she starts the book with a dedication that’s like “to my lifelong Democrat grandpa, he’d be pissed I dedicated a book about 3 Republicans to him.” I guess she does sometimes say stuff like “how did Lincoln’s party become Reagan’s” (paraphrase), but she doesn’t actually get into it.

Speaking of Democrats, she literally spends more time talking about Pablo Picasso than she spends talking about JFK. She doesn’t explain why she didn’t talk about JFK, but it seems bizarre to me to write a book about American assassinations and to leave out John Fucking Kennedy. Literally I’ve talked more about JFK in this section than she did in her assassin book. It’s not until page 253 that JFK gets a full paragraph. There are 255 pages total. Truly, if she’d taken a paragraph to be like “I’m focusing on the presidents who were elected before 1900″ or “the presidents whose immediate families aren’t still alive” or even “I didn’t want to travel to Dallas for research” or SOMETHING to explain why she left out JFK, I would have understood it more instead of flipping through the pages wondering what was going on.

Read it if: You do not listen to too many history podcasts and you didn’t read the Wikipedia page for the musical Assassins. And I guess if you don’t want to acknowledge that JFK did also get assassinated and that was kind of a big deal. Actually just listen to Assassins instead.

And Then There Were None, Agatha Christie

5/5 as a mystery, 0/5 for its original title (not gonna say it here but if you’ve ever googled the name of HP Lovecraft’s cat, it’s along those lines). Less than 6 hours, narrated by Dan Stevens from Downton Abbey, fairly ideal as an audiobook. I am 95% sure I’ve already read this, because I spent the summer before I started high school reading every Agatha Christie book in the library (I do not have a list of all the Agatha Christie books in my library the summer of 2010, so there is some question).

Read if: you want to hear the guy from Downton Abbey deliver the line “I’m not a complete fool!” in a tone that makes it sound like “I’m not a fucking moron!” Sidenote: Can anyone tell me if Brits say “solder” by pronouncing the L that I’ve always heard as a silent L? Or if Dan Stevens just fucked up that one word?

Over The Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love, by Jonathan Van Ness

4.5/5

This was a super enjoyable audiobook! It’s a testament to JVN’s considerable charisma that this book is full of him giving people in his past who would rather be anonymous Russian names, and it doesn’t get grating (as a Marina, however, I was shocked to not hear my name at any point; most of the other Marina’s I’ve met in my life are Russian). JVN has had a wild ride in life, and it’s a really raw, honest story of how he became who he is. I will say that if you are interested in reading this, please look up the trigger warnings; there are a lot of things that could be triggering to people.

I feel a little bad at how much more I liked this one compared to Tan France’s memoir, but I also feel like whoever was ghostwriting that one did a bad job at making Tan seem... not extremely defensive, cocky, and prickly (it seems that JVN did not use a ghostwriter; Tan’s on the other hand, let the phrase “I’m proud to be a petty bitch” make it into the final proof several times). Also JVN advocates going to therapy in his book, while Tan kind of says that you should only go to therapy if you have no friends or family or life partner to talk to, which I fundamentally disagree with. I don’t know. I also feel like, if I were to get a makeover from the Fab 5, Jonathan would love my hair (I have great hair) while Tan would say that I’m dressing too old for a 24 year old and then take me to fucking Lane Bryant or Torrid (I wear a size 16 US so IRL options are limited).

Read if: You like Queer Eye or Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness

Medallion Status, by John Hodgman

4.5/5

I really like John Hodgman’s podcast, and I got to ask him a question at an event he did at the Field Museum and he was very nice, so I went into this inclined to enjoy it.

And I did! I had a good time reading it. I read it the first week of January and now it’s the second week of February so I have already erased much of the book’s content from my mind, but he somehow made the perspective of being a formerly kinda famous person really interesting. I would also recommend Vacationland, particularly if anyone wants to write an au where Nursey, as a New Yorker, has a vacation home in Dex’s town in Maine. That’s right, I brought it back around to the topic of this blog. And that would be a fucking fantastic au.

Read it if: you like memoirs! it’s a good one.

Murder on the Orient Express, by Agatha Christie

Gonna give this one a 3/5 for performance, because Dan Stevens (again, because I liked his narration in the other one) does a really annoying American accent for a few characters, and an extremely bad Italian accent for another. I’m starting this review only a few hours in, so if it turns out that the Italian man is not Italian, I’ll revoke my criticism. Still a 5/5 mystery, though. I did have to stop many times when they were talking about Istanbul to go over to Spotify and play “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” by They Might Be Giants.

Books abandoned in 2020 (so far) (no real spoilers, I didn’t get more than a few chapters into any of them):

The Unhoneymooners, Christina Lauren

I got to a point where the main character was telling a lie that would put her newly accepted job into jeopardy, and it stressed me out so much as a relatively new hire that I stopped listening for the day and started another one, and then the week had passed and then the library took it back. I think I’d enjoy it more if I was reading it physically and I could control how fast I got through awkward parts (I am practically allergic to secondhand embarrassment). The performance was good and I did get a hankering for cheese curds.

Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris

I had like three audiobooks checked out at the same time, and even though this was again an abridged version, I just didn’t have time for all of them. My mom has a physical copy, I’ll borrow that at some point.

The Witch Elm, Tana French

This is one I may revisit someday. The main character is kind of an asshole, which is the point of his character I think, but it made it hard to get into the story. It’s also a 22 hour audiobook, which is kind of insanely long. Additionally, the narrator has a very slow way of talking, but if I tried to speed up the rate of playback I had trouble understanding his accent (I think I just have trouble processing really fast speech in general as well, but I would’ve had an easier time understanding someone with the same accent as me). Anyways, someone put a hold on it at the library and then I didn’t check it out again.

#long post #off topic #Marina Reads #edit: put under a readmore bc I forgot to earlier

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laws-yellow-submarine · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! Can I have a scenario of Law comforting his stressed s/o because she's handling most of the work on the group project she was assigned to, and her group members are being pricks by tossing work at her, even tho they know she has her own shit to do? Bonus if Law does something to them because it's happening to me right now and I would slap them if I could zzz thank you so much! :'D

Hi anon! I hope this isn’t too late, I was trying to go quick with it but it just was not coming to me I’m so sorry! I did this as a modern AU kinda thing, cause pirates don’t do group projects (not well at least). I hope you enjoy!! (Also yes: In modern AU land Bepo is a dog and he’s an American Eskimo cause they look like freaking polar bears and I LOVE THEM ok carry on lmao)

Law walked into their apartment to see his girlfriend huddled over a rather large stack of books and papers. It was the week before finals, which meant they wouldn’t be spending much time together while she studied and completed projects. He was fine with this, so long as she still remembered to take care of herself; he was just glad he’d already graduated, and therefore didn’t have to worry. He unleashed his dog, Bepo, and hung up his coat. As the American Eskimo trotted over to her to be pet, she let out a half-scream, half-groan.

��ARRRGH!” She slammed her head on the table, hands fisting into her hair. Law raised an eyebrow, wondering just what had gotten her so stressed?

“Something wrong?” She looked up, looking absolutely defeated.

“I have my first final due tomorrow, and none of my group members took notes! So now I’m having to reread the book another three times, take notes on all of their sections, compile the entire presentation, all in one night, while they get to just show up, slap their names on it, and call it good!” Law furrowed his brows at this, sitting at the table next to her. He opened his mouth to speak, but she spoke once again before he could even start.

“I mean, it’s not like I don’t ALSO have other exams to study for, you know? Like, wow what a shocker, I can’t do the work of 4 people! But if I don’t, then we’ll all fail, and they know that I won’t let that happen.” Bepo let out a whine and Law tried to speak again. “And if I go to our professor about it, she’ll probably just tell me to suck it up and deal with it, since ‘we’re all adults and should be able to figure this out on our own’, but they wouldn’t even let me get a word in edgewise about it! When I tried asking for their notes they all just said they’ve been too busy! I’m busy too, dammit!” Law quickly grasped her shoulders, cutting her off before she could spiral further.

“Are you done?” She nodded. “Good. English 203, right?” More nodding. “Lucky for you, I did that project a few years ago, and she never deviates. I think I still have all the notes somewhere, let me go look.” He was up before she could protest, and she sat meekly at the table, absentmindedly petting Bepo as the sound of rustling came from their bedroom closet. After a short while, Law reemerged holding a folder bursting with papers. “Here, it’s a bit of a mess, but it’s all there and it’s legible. I promise.” He dropped the folder on the table and she pulled it towards her, hesitant to open it and look.

“I really appreciate this, hun, but I really shouldn’t cheat-” He stops her sentence with a sharp glare.

“You’re not cheating, you’re using your resources. Besides, you’re gonna make yourself sick if you stress out too much about this. Use my notes.”

“Y-yes, dear…” She finally opened the folder and sorted out what she needed. True to his word, everything was right there; all she had to do was paraphrase into her presentation along with her own notes, and she’d be all set. “Thank you, Law…”

“No problem,” he grunted, making himself a pot of coffee. They sat in companionable silence while she worked, the mood considerably lighter now that she wasn’t facing such a monumental task. After only an hour or so, she was finally almost done. “Who were your group partners, anyway?” He asked, feigning innocence. She caught onto his tone and raised a brow at him in question, not sure why he’d want to know. Unable to come up with any malicious reasoning, she told him the names of three of her classmates, ones that he actually knew.

“Why do you want to know?” She finally asked, putting the finishing touches on her work.

“No reason, just curious,” Law said. She wasn’t totally convinced, but let it be for now. She pushed away from the table, stifling a yawn. “I think I’m gonna take a quick shower, and then go to bed so I can rest up for tomorrow.” She stood and placed a kiss on his brow, smiling when he leaned into it. “Thank you again, you going to bed soon?” Law shook his head.

“I actually had some plans to meet Shachi and Penguin tonight, but I won’t be out too late.” She nodded and left towards the bathroom, Bepo trotting happily after her, and Law snuck out the door.

…

The next morning she sat at her table, going over her presentation notes one last time. Her eyes kept flicking to the door, anxiety rising. Out of everyone in her group, she was the only one to show up. She could just present herself, but she worried how that might affect the overall grade. When the door finally opened she perked up, only to sit back confused at the sight of her boyfriend. He slid into the classroom unhindered, thanks to the professor’s lax policy, and sat in a chair next to her.

“What are you doing here?” She asked him, trying not to sound upset at seeing him and not her group.

“I just came for luck,” he told her, smug grin on his face. Understanding began to dawn on her.

“Ohhh no, no, no, what did you do?!” She hissed, trying not to draw attention to themselves. “Wait, I don’t even wanna know! Just please tell me I’m not gonna find any severed heads in some back alley somewhere.” Law let out a low chuckle, not actually doing anything to assuage her fears.

“Don’t worry, all I did was teach them a lesson”

“Ok but what does tha-?”

“Ms. (Name) is your group ready to present?” Her teacher’s voice piped up, drawing her from their conversation.

“Ahh, um, actually, ma’am, my group isn’t here, but I’m prepared to present alone, if that’s alright with you.” The professor let out a low sigh, marking something in her notepad.

“Very well, I’d like to see at least one of you get a grade”

Law wished her luck as she went to the front of the room and powered up her presentation. It went very smooth, as one might figure when you’ve done all the work yourself. She knew the content inside and out, and Law’s notes had even provided some extra insight into the book they’d been assigned to read. She grew more confident with each second that passed. She’d just finished when the door opened, revealing three disheveled looking students.

“Wait, don’t start! We’re here, we’re ready!” The professor fixed them with A Look, and even (Name) felt chills crawl down her back at the ice emanating from her.

“Unfortunately for you three, Ms. (Name) has already presented a splendid project, one I get the feeling included no ‘group’ participation. All 3 of you get an incomplete. Ms. Name,” She turned to look at her professor, ignoring the stares her former group members were drilling into her back. “Nice work.”

The smirk never left Law’s face, even long after they’d left the classroom. She lets out a low chuckle, head still spinning from the overall experience, and she smiles at him. “I still don’t wanna know,” she says, causing him to glance at her. “But thank you.” She stands up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, causing red to bloom beneath her lips despite there being no witnesses. His smirk finally drops and he pulls her back down to stand flat on the floor, grumbling at the way she’s giggling at him.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it.”

#trafalgar law scenario #trafalgar law #one piece #one piece scenario #thanks for the ask!#anon asks

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crisyah · 5 years ago

Text

A Guide to Webnovels

Some of you may have heard of webnovels / webfiction by now. Huge successes like Worm or The Wandering Inn have certainly not gone unnoticed by speculative fiction fans and most of us have heard whispers about that legendary site: Wattpad. Still, webnovels remain a niche product, with its audience being mostly teenagers. People might avoid them because the quality of the novels wildly vary and it takes too long to sift through so many options until you find something decent. But how is that different from looking through self-published books? Another reason is that people might simply not know where to look. Especially with webfiction guide not accepting new users, there's no other sites that list webnovels from various sources for you to look through. Or are there?

Well, buckle up, fellow speculative-ists, I'm about to help you out with finding new, free fiction that releases at a faster rate than that one book if you've waiting for for 5 years!

(Full disclosure: I am a webnovel author. You may find my name / novel pretty quickly on one of the sites I will mention in this guide because I'm on trending and high up on the dark fantasy tag there. I'm not writing all of this for self-promotion purposes, however. It honestly makes me sad to see amazing webnovels doing poorly while average ones do amazingly simply because the audience is severely skewed. This is my attempt to broaden the audience a little bit, while giving other speculative fiction fans the chance to find amazing stories and fellow authors another outlet for their creations.)Let's get into it:The cons of webnovels

Quality does vary greatly and you'll have to sift through tags and read synopsis, reviews and first chapters looking for something you like and that is a bit timeconsuming. I still think it's not much different from looking for books you might enjoy, if you search efficiently.

Novels tend to be dropped. A lot. The golden rule that everyone tends to follow is: if it's less than 20~30 chapters or 200 pages, don't touch it. Filter out everything that is on hiatus. Big yes to novels that have at least one arc / volume / book finished.

The pros of webnovels

They're almost all completely free. Authors will have patreons, paypal and ko-fi if you want to tip them or get extra rewards, but that's it. If you don't like something, you've wasted nothing but a bit of time.

Fast releases. To make their novels competitive, authors tend to release new chapters at the very least weekly, with the most common release schedule being 2~3 times a week. Some even release daily. Some, still, release several chapters a day. You can follow the novel, forget about it during the week or for a month and end up with quite a stash of chapters to binge.

Being part of something that is being created "in real time". Webnovel authors will often ask for input from their readers, have fun polls where they ask them to vote on certain things, active discord servers, etc. You can also come up with and discuss theories and character growth as the story advances. It's a livelier community than getting a book that's finished and then you just talk about a full, finished project.

Where to look for webnovels?

With webfiction guide not accepting new members, it becomes a bit harder to find an impartial list of quality webnovels. You can still look at their top webfiction guide, but you're likely to have heard about some, if not all of the authors there. So, what to do when you've read through this list already (or browsed through it and nothing caught your attention)?

Muse's Success - This is a "sister site" to webfiction guide that serves as a directory. Webnovels have to be added manually either by fans or the authors and there is a rating system, but I can't vouch for how reliable it is.

If you want to forego directories and go right to the source, however, I'd say RoyalRoad is the biggest site for speculative webfiction. Yes, Wattpad exists, but it's largely for romance (some with speculative elements, of course), but it's also a bit of a mess to navigate and it's very unkind to new authors and works more like a SNS than an actual writing site. RoyalRoad offers better options in terms of following webnovels, looking through and filtering tags, getting rid of fictions you don't want to see, etc. It's a very good platform, overall, the best of its kind, I would say. It does lack a mobile app, but that's being worked on at the moment.

The Tops and Lists

Of course, the first place most people will look at is the tops and most viewed lists on any site. Don't be surprised if you find yourself disappointed with some of these. It happens. Make sure you don't stick to the first page only.

Best Rated - As the name indicates, this is a list of the best rated novels in the entire website. Some of them are already finished and have been so for years, some are still ongoing and have been so for years. You can select the complete only and active only best rated depending on whether you're looking for completed or on-going novels, too.

Trending - This is a list of 50 fictions that are doing the best at the moment, on the site. They call them the "rising stars" because they tend to be newer fictions, but you might find some older ones there as well.

Popular This Week - Again, as the name suggests, the novels that have been most viewed and rated the past week.

These lists tend to be somewhat repetitive. If you're on the top 7 on trending, you get a lot of exposure and that makes you rise on Popular This Week and Best Rated. It's kind of a cycle. So, what to do if you're done reading everything that interested you on these?

Search Feature

Maybe you're out of more popular stuff to read and want to dive deeper. Maybe you like finding hidden gems. Maybe you want to scratch an itch for a very specific genre. Don't fear, the search feature is here. And I'm too. I'm going to link you directly to the speculative genre tag searches. All you have to do is further filter the searches for anything else specific you might want or not want, choose whether you want on-going or complete fictions, pick which content warnings you're fine with. Filter as little or as much as you like! Though I'd say to filter a little bit if you want something specific, don't filter too much or you might end up missing on awesome novels just because the author forgot to tick a box or decided to put in a gore warning for that one scene where someone gets an arm cut out.

Fantasy - Historical Fantasy - Horror Fantasy - Horror - Sci-Fi - Horror Sci Fi

Final Notes

Don't filter for completed if you want finished books but are fine with ongoing series. Authors will usually make a listing for a series but not mark it as completed until the entire thing is done.

Some webnovel authors will self-publish. If you become their patron early on, you'll be getting cool stuff, helping them on their journey and getting a free book at the end. You might even get a character named after you!

Rate, review, all that, but please be kind. A lot of webnovel authors are very young and / or just starting out. If you see a story that you absolutely despise and / or can't read, it's best to move on and click the "don't show me this novel again" button than to rate them a 0.5* and ruin their day. Did you enjoy a story, however? Splurge. Make an account (or log in with google) and slap on that 5* advance review on it.

You're gonna see a lot of, hmm, particular tropes. Don't give up. Please. For the sake of all of us that don't write them and need more readers. I'm begging you.

To paraphrase something another user said on the RR discord: "You tend to find good writing and the same boring old ideas in mainstream fiction, while webfiction is filled with original ideas and worldbuilding but the writing is sometimes not the best". I think that sums it up pretty well. If you're looking for innovative ideas while seeing and helping writers grow at the same time, give webnovels a try.

I hope this guide was useful and if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

#speculative fiction #fantasy fiction #science fiction #horror fiction #literature

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ua-hc7 · 6 years ago

Text

TRANSCRIPT: August 29, 2:12 AM

[Note: The following contains implications/references of and to a variety of abuses. Drug use and sexual content is explicitly mentioned and described.]

[Note: Official recording started midway conversation. The above is paraphrased.]

[Note: Uncensored transcript requires further authoritzation.]

.. ... @ua-hawks ...

[Incoming call. Hawks is still putting himself back together at home. The rustle of a jacket being thrown over something and his clumsy, erratic footsteps can be faintly heard.]

[Shichirou picks up. It's quiet on his end asides from the soft rustling of wings.]

SHICHIROU: ... ▇▇▇▇▇? Sweetheart, what's happening...

[He stifles a yawn, his voice slow and heavy with sleep.]

HAWKS: Hi,

[Hawks' voice is drained of energy, yet he's still rushing. He hasn't been able to get out of his work headspace.]

HAWKS: Sorry. Did I wake you up?

[The way his words slur becomes more obvious.]

SHICHIROU: No, no...

[More rustling, the soft sound of fabrics moving together this time. There's a soft creak of a mattress as Shichirou sits up in bed.]

SHICHIROU: Have you been drinking? You haven't answered my question...

[A door shuts. Hard.]

HAWKS: Yeah.

[He's pacing. Restless. Exhausted.]

HAWKS: What'd you say?

SHICHIROU: What is going on?

[His voice is suddenly stern, though only slightly so. Still, it's a clear change of tone, all the drowsiness in his voice suddenly gone.]

SHICHIROU: Tell me what has you so upset.

HAWKS: I don't know. I just. I had to like-I had t'arrest or-no-I had to bring a kid in, to like a hospital...

[As he explains the distress rises. He's talking before he can even find the words to say what he needs to say.]

HAWKS: I was on my way to my meeting with Dabi and he was there and I don't know why-he's a-a fuckin ua kid, you have to have heard about it,

[It's completely silent as he listens. He only interrupts by the end, his voice quiet, firm and calm.]

SHICHIROU: Hawks. You are our main source on the League at this moment. Everything we hear, we hear through you.

[He waits a moment for his words to (hopefully) cut through his panic before continuing.]

SHICHIROU: Please clarify. You've brought in a UA student? Name? And which hospital is he in, are you there now?

HAWKS: Monoma.. [A sharp, shaky breath interrupts him.] Neito. Monoma Neito...

[He does pause. Let himself calm down as much as he can. The pacing stops.]

HAWKS: Sorry... 'm sorry I just... He was so fucked up, Chirou, I can't even.. I shouldn't be doing this right now I just need to write the fucking report and-and I need to get back to my interns and..

[He barely catches a gasp as he starts crying. It's sudden, even to himself, suppressing it best he can. He doesn't want Shichirou to know how weak he's gotten.]

SHICHIROU: ...

[He waits a few moment, listening to his stifled tears. Quietly, he writes down the boy's name. Then, he presses a program to start on his phone to record the rest of the conversation, cursing himself quietly for not doing that right at the start.]

SHICHIROU: You don't need to be doing anything right now, Hawks...

[He sighs, urging patience back into himself. He wants more information on the case but it'd have to wait...]

SHICHIROU: What have I told you about taking care of yourself? That's what's most important. Just concentrate on letting it all out, please, you'll feel better... I want you to be okay.

... Do you need to come over?

HAWKS: Yeah, well-

[Unintentionally, Hawks snaps, catching himself for a second.]

HAWKS: I can't exactly do that when I'm at everyone's fucking beck and call, can I? Dabi could hit me up at like 5 am and be like ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ and I'd probably do it just cuz it's the mission.

[He let's go again.]

HAWKS: And he has! And he has. And I do it. And I feel disgusting and-fucking Monoma-▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ I...

SHICHIROU: ...

[He sighs again, a slow, careful breath.]

SHICHIROU: Was he...? Hawks, can you explain what you saw? Please?

[A pause as he frowns to himself.]

SHICHIROU: You're doing good work, love... You really are. It's all going to be so worth it when we're done, I promise you.

HAWKS: I...

[He lets out an aggravated sigh.]

HAWKS: I saw ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇. That's it. I went to where our meeting was gonna be and Monoma was ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ He was all sortsa fucked up and I pulled him aside and he-I don't know, maybe he thought I was someone else but ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ and I.. I don't know...

[Another shuddering breath, more tears.]

HAWKS: ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇... [He forces a sad chuckle.]

SHICHIROU: ... ▇▇▇▇▇ ...

[He'll have to cut that out from the recording. The commission was well aware of Hawks' true name but he still tries to respect the boy's privacy nonetheless.]

SHICHIROU: It's okay. It's okay...

[So much to unpack and try and soothe away. Shichirou rises from the bed, starting to snap the lights of his house on.]

SHICHIROU: Please, come over. I'd like to see you. About the boy, unless he ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇-

[He pauses, shakes his head.]

SHICHIROU: Remember, Dabi is a violent criminal, Monoma's probably been abused into a mindset that makes him ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇, it doesn't mean he does. It's a good thing you caught them before this could get even worse, because now we can help him, and now we can press more charges against Dabi when we finally arrest him. Does that make sense, dear?

HAWKS: ...

HAWKS: One second..

[Hawks drops his phone, wiping his face and letting another few sobs shake his body before he collects himself again and picks up again.]

HAWKS: ...

It does.

...

But I don't think I wanna move.

[Already, Shichirou is throwing open his closet so he can retrieve a jacket.]

SHICHIROU: I can come to you. Tell me where you are, please.

[He shakes his head again, muttering to himself, floorboards creaking under his feet as he strides.]

SHICHIROU: You're drunk, you shouldn't be moving much anyway... Are you on any other drugs right now?

HAWKS: I'm at my place...

[Hawks is on the floor, sitting against his bed. He feels ready to pass out. He probably will by the time Shichirou gets to him.]

HAWKS: Yeah. Dunno what. Dabi likes to give me shit... Think it wore off though.. 'm getting sober too..

[A pause and he lifts himself again, wandering to his kitchen, mumbling to himself as he opens cabinets until he finds what he wants.]

HAWKS: Fuck..

SHICHIROU: I'll bring a drug test kit.

[There's a jingle as he snatches his keys from his desk.]

SHICHIROU: Depending on what it is in your system, that's possession. That's another charge, Hawks, you're doing so well. Are you drinking water? You should be laying down...

HAWKS: Yeah, well.

[A pause-he drinks. Its just a shot of vodka.]

HAWKS: I know he's got ecstasy and opiates and shit. Dunno where he gets it. Coke. Other shit, probably. Dunno.

[Another shot.]

HAWKS: I'm fine.

SHICHIROU: Hm.

[Silence as he considers that. He slips his shoes on and throws the door open, steps loud against the pavement outside.]

SHICHIROU: Try and find out his sources. Drug crime has been on the rise again.

...

Go lie down. I'm not telling you again.

HAWKS: Mmm...

[The phones microphone is covered momentarily, uncovered once Hawks has set down the shot glass again.]

HAWKS: Fine.

[He finds his way to the couch, sinking down into it and almost relaxing.]

SHICHIROU: Thank you.

[A variety of sounds as Shichirou unlocks his car and gets inside, the usual shuffle of trying to adjust his wings comfortably continuing for a few long moments.]

SHICHIROU: I'll be there in 20 minutes. Can you keep me on the line, please? You don't have to keep talking much if you don't feel up to it anymore.

HAWKS: What, you worried I'll die between now and then..

[Hawks huffs out like he's trying to laugh, listening to the faint sound of his wings. It'd be better if he was there.]

HAWKS: I'll be fine...

[Hands pat against his pants and shirt, trying to find his cigarettes and a lighter, unsuccessful with both.]

SHICHIROU: Yes. I am worried.

[Shichirou falls quiet. He starts the car, pulling out into the road. For a long moment, the only sound from his end is the hum of the engine.]

SHICHIROU: ▇▇▇▇▇, you're allowed to take breaks sometimes. I hope you know that.

HAWKS: ...

[Silence falls on his end. He listens to Shichirou's car, his soothing voice.]

HAWKS: Not really.

[Shichirou chuckles. It's a sad sound.]

SHICHIROU: ...

SHICHIROU: I care about you. You know that at least, yes?

HAWKS: I do.

[More silence.]

HAWKS: I hate this.

HAWKS: ...

HAWKS: I hate... it.

SHICHIROU: I know. ... I'm sorry.

HAWKS: I can't take a break... And I don't even know when I'll be able to. IF I'll be able to. Fuck, I might DIE before this ends, I...

[A sharp gasp and he's crying again, swearing to himself.]

HAWKS: I'm sorry...

SHICHIROU: ...

[Silence as he listens to him start to cry again.]

SHICHIROU: ... Do I need to take you off this case?

[He says it as gently as he can manage.]

[That sobers Hawks' thoughts for a moment, somewhat.]

HAWKS: No...

[He breathes the word out, wiping his face and forcing himself back together.]

HAWKS: No. No, I'm the best fit for it and we're already this far and... No.

HAWKS: ...

HAWKS: 'm just drunk and high and shit don't... Just. Just ignore me, alright...

SHICHIROU: I have no intentions of ever ignoring you, love.

[Another soft sigh.]

SHICHIROU: I'll keep that in mind, however. No need for any rash actions, I'll keep quiet... I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me, ▇▇▇▇▇.

[He makes a pained sound, but nods.]

HAWKS: Still don't love that you call me that...

SHICHIROU: Sorry, sorry... Habit.

[A few seconds of silence, then:]

SHICHIROU: Do you have food at home? I can pick something up for you if you'd like. You should eat something small at least, it'll help absorb the drugs in your system.

HAWKS: It's fine. 's whatever....

Nah, I don't have much here... nothin I want, at least... Just.. pick up whatever, I'll eat it...

...

▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇.

[Shichirou chuckles a little, fond.]

SHICHIROU: ▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇, too.

HAWKS: Are you gonna be here soon...

SHICHIROU: Few more minutes...

HAWKS: Good... okay.. thank you.

SHICHIROU: Of course.

HAWKS: ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇ ...

SHICHIROU: ▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇, too.

I'm almost at the door.

[A few more seconds of silence and Hawks hangs up.]

#shichirou.log #administration.arc #nurturance.arc

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kdtheghostwriter · 6 years ago

Text

SNK 115 - “OMW”

I mean...

Let’s be real. As far as Deus Ex goes, I’ve seen more preposterous this week.

If any of you are wondering why this post took so long, it isn’t for lack of time I assure you. This chapter was…a lot. And god damn, Isayama, I wasn’t expecting to dig up my Junior Year debate notes for this one blog post but here we are lads. Quick recap before we get into writers’ mumbo-jumbo.

Flashback

Deus EX

#HeelFloch

Sad Hange

RESURRECTION

We all know Isa loves his religious imagery. He isn’t quite as egregious as Zack Snyder (who is, tbh?) but it’s definitely a thing. He also loves mythology of all types. And while Norse mythology seems to be his area of expertise, it isn’t mine - which is why seeing Stupid Sexy Zeke emerge from his Titan Incubator made me think of another Stupid Sexy God from the Ancient Greek Canon.

I speak of the Goddess Aphrodite, who has dominion over love, beauty and its various trappings. Admittedly, this comparison is drawn in relation to aesthetics only. Zeke’s aloof temperament doesn’t really mirror that of the Greek goddess. Even though Aphrodite did technically help start the Trojan War but that’s neither here nor there.

Zeke’s appearance from the steam of the felled Titan is nearly identical to the foam that appeared during Aphrodite’s spontaneous conception in the Ionian Sea. For the sake of transparency, I must point out that long ago, a fanfic author by the name of Homer relayed to us that Aphrodite was the daughter of Zeus and Dione. This is not technically wrong but it is quite boring. And it was also pre-dated (shout-out to Hesiod). Uranus, the primordial god of the sky, got into a spat with his children as deities are wont to do. This particular dust-up ended in Uranus being castrated by his son – the Titan, Cronus – who usurped the throne. The disembodied testicles fell into the sea like a pair of primordial bath bombs and out of the resulting effervescence appeared a full-grown Aphrodite in all of her Tumblr-banned glory.

Zeke, with nothing left of him after the explosion than a head and torso, was taken into the gut of a waiting Titan. Let me clarify, here. He was not eaten, no. The mindless titan scooted itself along the river banks and inserted the dying Zeke into its stomach cavity. Then OG Ymir with her trademark PATHS Magiks, crafts the golden boy a brand new body and sends him on his merry way.

Like I said up top: of all the examples of Deus Ex, this isn’t even the third-most severe I’ve seen. The implications of it are…a lot. And it actually makes sense if you consider what we know about Titan Biology.

Back to the beginning. Once upon a time, the Founder Ymir Fritz made a deal with the Devil of All Earth that gave her untold power after coming into contact with the “source of all living matter.” With that power, Ymir became the Progenitor of Titan Power. Upon her death 13 years later, her soul was split into nine pieces and connected via a metaphysical system known only as PATHS. These PATHS transcend space and time and bind together every subject of Ymir, even those who have been long dead.

We also know that the Titans themselves are a conundrum of theoretical physics. Their mass and energy are created from nothing. They generate massive amounts of heat, but don’t appear to need fuel. They have no digestive system and regurgitate the contents of their stomach when it becomes full. Even though they are huge creatures, their actual limbs and body parts are incredibly light. Even though Zeke has little recollection of what happened to him post-explosion, he’s likely smart enough to infer, as we can, exactly how and why he emerged from the carcass of a Titan with a brand new body.

This is all before we mention that Zeke Jaeger is a part of the Fritz family tree. The Royal Family line that descends directly from Ymir herself.

I also thought about Lazarus of Bethany while reading this section. Lazarus was a good friend of Jesus, the lad from Bethlehem. Maybe you’ve heard of him. Jesus was told that Lazarus had fallen ill, but has business and doesn’t set out until a few days later. Jesus and his crew arrive in Bethany only to discover that Lazarus has already passed away. This leads to the Gospel’s shortest verse.

Jesus wept. [John 11:35, KJV]

Perhaps the better comparison for her is to Abraham (with the whole “making a great nation” stipulation). But! I’m trying to do something pithy here, so bear with me.

The story of Lazarus might be the Good Book’s most well-known resurrection (besides that other one). The idea here is that the world’s most Holy Figure decided that this man’s time on Earth wasn’t done. Jesus was too late to heal Lazarus and felt so guilty as to weep. Lazarus was then called forth from his tomb, still wrapped in his death robes.

For the Eldian Empire, no figure is more Holy than Ymir Fritz. She’s the Founding Titan and, if this chapter is to be inferred upon, her spirit still influences the will of her subjects to the day. An entire cult has formed with the sole purpose of returning her to her former glory. I should also point out that Zeke essentially committed suicide.

Like, yeah, maybe the injuries were a bit too extreme for an old shifter to be able to regenerate from, but even if that’s the case there would have been the telltale signs of an attempt to do so, like Pieck in Liberio. There wasn’t even that. He was so tired of the fight – so done with Levi torturing him – that he was willing to abandon his years-long plan entirely and sacrifice his powers to the shadows of death. He chose to die; the Founder chose differently.

The rainstorm clearing to make way for the sun. The beautification of Zeke Jaeger. The visage of his tall, strong frame standing firm as his hated rival lays broken and mutilated at his feet. It’s all very hard to miss. Who knows where his head is at following this? I do, however, finally know why I get so many Spidey Sense tingles whenever Zeke opens his mouth.

The name is Immanuel Kant: German scholar and one of the godfathers of modern philosophy. I first learned of Kant and his teachings as a teenager on my high school debate team as I prepared my cases for the Lincoln-Douglas competition. It was my first tournament and I placed second out of dozens of students. After I was done for the day, a girl came up to me and gave me congratulations for understanding Kant. I thanked her, but the truth was that I didn’t fully grasp Kantian philosophy until I got home that night and studied a bit more. Kantian ethics can be hard to grasp because they are often in conflict with each other. (Gee, that sounds familiar.)

Kant’s ethics are deontological in principal. This is a fancy way of saying that the main concern is the Deed That Must Be Done. It is a separation of morals from emotion. Kant rejected the Utilitarians of the day and their schools of thought regarding the inherent “goodness” of an action. Specifically, he had a big problem with Determinism, saying that things like free will were inherently unknowable; also, basing the morality of a decision around perceived outcomes was impossible, because consequences existed outside of physical existence and therefore could not be quantified. Kant set out to quantify the question of moral relativism with his most famous work: The Categorical Imperative.

This is a terribly complex system that has been repurposed and reinterpreted countless times over the past two centuries so I’ll spare you any ballywho. Basically, CI is the inverse of Consequentialism where everything but the consequences matter. Saving a person from drowning isn’t inherently a good action unless there is a logical reason for doing so. This is admittedly a very simplified summation, but even the expanded version leads to some dissonance of reason.

If we look at the Abstract of Categorical Imperative, it tells us: “Do not impose on others what you do not wish for yourself.” This line is very similar to the Golden Rule, which Kant famously opposed. The American scholar Peter Corning pointed this out, saying, “Kant’s objection is especially suspect because the Categorical Imperative sounds a lot like a paraphrase…of the same fundamental idea. Calling it a universal law does not materially improve on the basic concept.” To borrow an idea myself, it’s like playing the Super Mario theme in a minor key. It’ll sound more dour than usual, but it’s still the Mario theme. Joking aside, what’s important here is that the whole point of CI is to quantify the question of morality and it appears to do that in part by using the qualitative philosophy of the Golden Rule.

Another big beef came from Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. He felt that Kantian autonomy was insufficient in holding people to the standards of CI’s universal truths. In his words: “Kant was of the opinion that man is his own law – that is, he binds himself under the law which he himself gives himself. Actually, in a profounder sense, this is how lawlessness or experimentation are established.” In other words, if the only thing that matters is reasoning, you can justify almost anything to serve your immediate reasoning.

EXAMPLE

Here is where the dubious nature of the Categorical Imperative fully rears its head, as it displays BOTH the morality and immorality of Zeke’s plan.

On one hand, this plan is fucking awful. There are numerous and many arguments to be made against it; working solely in the context of Kantianism, it is irrational to presume that sterilizing the Eldian people will lead to a more peaceful world. It relies on a ludicrous number of assumptions – the least of which isn’t that Marley will one day stop being a total bell end. Besides that shit, it violates the nature of Kantian philosophy by attempting to foresee the outcome of the situation.

The other hand? It actually makes sense. CI says that only reason matters. It’s ethics through the lens of rational thought. No matter your thoughts about the Great Titan War, how it started and ended, whether or not the Eldians’ preceding subjugation was just or not, it’s a fact that the Titans have caused a great deal of suffering for many people. Only one race of people can transform into these beasts, so the idea of stripping their ability to reproduce isn’t a great leap to make. It is rational specifically in the context of this universe.

(Apologies for any details missed. I haven’t read any Kant in several years and this is a very condensed version of a concept I would encourage you to look into further. Thinking about this all now, the fact that I ever made it to out-rounds while arguing any of this is frankly absurd.)

It makes sense then, finally, why Yelena is so devoted to Zeke’s plan. Titans destroyed her home and slaughtered her people. The rational course of action is to remove this weapon from the hands of those (Marley) that would abuse them. And if those same perpetrators get screwed over during the course of this plan then…[Shrug Emoji]. She claims what she wants is justice. What she really wants, of course, is revenge. Just like her sensei, Jaeger-san, who wants revenge still. Which Jaeger, you ask? The answer is yes.

Situations have been reversed. The volunteers (and Onyankopon) are seated at the head of the table while the officers of the Garrison and Military Police that held them captive are under their thumb. Color-coded armbands are divvied out to the Eldian forces, juuuuust in case you forgot which period of history we’re sending up here. Armbands are assigned based upon when a person surrendered to the Jaegerists. Those higher ups (and Falco) that partook of the wine get their own special armband, because Everything Is Awesome!!

Then there’s this fucking guy. Before I revisited the world of epistemology, I had a much less astute take prepared about character psychology and the concept of the “Double Turn.” I may still write that as a separate post; it won’t do any good here. Reiner didn’t appear, firstly (even though it appears that he and the Warrior Unit are on Paradis), and the visage of a disembodied child using Titan Magiks to bring Zeke back from the precipice of death brings up some very real questions about how real the Curse really is. We don’t know how Ymir Fritz died originally. Given the way mythology tends to work, I’d say patricide is highly plausible.

As usual, all we can do is speculate. One thing that doesn’t need speculation is Pieck. As usual, she’s right on time. As expected, she’s exactly right.

Stray Thoughts

- As I noted last time, Levi was sent flying into the river. Evidently, he had enough strength to make it back to shore, just not much more than that. I suspect he’s alive for now but, goddamn did he get messed up. Levi underestimated Zeke’s suicidal tendencies, just as Zeke underestimated Levi’s tenacity. For two fellas that spent months in direct contact with each other, they have almost no clue.

- Not to stir the pot here but, here’s an in-story example of Kantian Ethics in case you’re still not quite sure. On the roof in Shiganshina – if Kant had been there (lol) – he would have disputed Levi giving the serum to Armin. Not for the reason you think. Categorical Imperative is all about reason. The reason Levi chose to save Armin is because he refused to rob his loved one of their humanity and instead chose to let him rest as opposed to reviving him for the sake of continuing a senseless, endless war. As Momtaku has said before: Levi chose Erwin over Armin. This was a choice made on emotional, borderline selfish, grounds and thereby irrational, which in Kant’s eyes makes it immoral. Just a little extra nugget for you. Discuss, friends!

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