#but it did make me think about the right's allegiances and values

[wild-at-mind]

USians you will be distressed to know that in the UK far right people use Trump flags, MAGA hats and even confederate flags to signify their allegiances to each other.

[rachetmath]

Jaune's Last Man

(Hi sorry this has been my head and I completely forgot about this so let me end this with a kicker. A rap you may say. If you need a recap or you don’t know what this is about....he links here.;

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/rachetmath/681709097493659648/ilia-blake-i-want-to-come-with-you-blake-ilia?source=share

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/rachetmath/683991434179805184/can-we-please-get-a-sequel-to-the-post-about-jaune?source=share

Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/rachetmath/688883250974916608/so-i-know-ow-you-said-you-dont-normally-do?source=share)

Jaune: Mercury.

Mercury: Vomit Boy. How’s it hanging?

Jaune: I’m doing fine.

Mercury: Really? I mean since you killed your friend. Your girlfriend dead. And Atlas. I would think you be in a site of depression.

Jaune: Yeah. Except I’m in state of rage.

Mercury; Oh.

Jaune: I mean I haven’t seen my family in years to where I can barely remember their faces. I watched thousands of innocent people die. I was betrayed by someone I wanted to call friend. All because of my stupidity.

Mercury: Wow finally admit it. You don’t know what your doing.

Jaune: Still don’t… but I’ll take my chances.

Mercury: So what are you going to do torture me.

Jaune: Haha no. Of course not. Ladies.

Neo and Ilia walks into the room. Neo before she took a seat on the table, she gives Jaune a kiss on cheeks while Ilia a has weapon to Mercury’s neck. Mercury was still shocked with Neo.

Jaune: Alright. Let us begin. I’m here to make a deal.

Mercury: A deal?

Jaune: You bet. I want you on my team.

Ruby: What?

Jaune: Yes.

Mercury: Why?

Jaune: We need someone like you on our side. Guys like you come in very short supply.

Mercury: That doesn’t give me much of a reason. Why should I give you allegiance?

Jaune: I’m willing to give something that can’t refuse.

Mercury: Please, your not even giving me a right to choose.

Jaune: *sigh* Ilia.

Ilia removes her weapon and sits down.

Jaune: Fine, I’ll play by rules. Look, I understand. Your father he was bad man. But brother he’s dead.

Mercury: I know.

Jaune: I know it was by own hands. I get it wasn’t easy but you fail to get-

Mercury: Is?

Jaune: That you can be better. So much clever. Do really want to stay in his shadow forever?

Mercury: Please. Who are you to judge me? If I recall correctly didn’t you cheat. You went to a school filled with talent. With nothing to show but empty promises and values. You talk a big game but you can’t measure up. Face it bud, your only here because of luck.

Jaune: …. ….

Mercury: Got nothing to say. Guess the fun is over. No more debates. I guess I’m done now prison await. Besides Salem offered me world on a plate what’s better than that?

Jaune: Okay, little man, so what’s your plan?

Mecury: What?

Jaune: Yeah, little man, what’s you plan?

Mercury: I mean-

Jaune: What’s your plan? Tell me, little man, what you gone do when you got the world in your hands? You get all money and get some respect. You make yourself sound like you really are a threat. Yes its true, your right about me. I did what it took to follow my dreams. But now look at me. I am all three. Money, Power and respect. A threat guaranteed. I lost many people but yet I still breath. Yet I still believe in what we can achieve.

Mercury: … … …. What are you saying to me?

Jaune: We’re nothing like them.

Mercury: What do you want from me?

Jaune: Show me your bravery. Leave it all BEHIND and make history.

Mercury: But I-

Jaune: You’re nothing like him.

Mercury: I’m-

Jaune: You can still be better.

Emerald: *burst in door* And if your not sure we can explore it together. We’ll have each other.

Jaune: And if you believe-

Mercury: Believe?

Jaune: In yourself.

Emerald: And me.

Jaune and Emerald: There’s nothing you can’t achieve.

Mercury: Really?

Jaune: Right.

Emerald: You can fly. Again. Sore the sky. Again.

Jaune: Away from sun. Together with us. We can make history. Forge our destiny. Our story will be legendary. So-

Jaune: *pulls his hand out* What do you say?

Mercury: Hmm. Well-

Jaune: Yes, you will paid.

Mercury: And?

Jaune: Yes, come man, what do you say?

Mercury: *shakes Jaune’s hand* Alright you got a deal compadre.

RWBY: Dang.

Oscar: They went play by play.

Nora: So Jaune? Tell us, what’s now the team’s name?

Jaune JMNI. What do you all think?

Mercury: I got say, it’s got nice ring to.

Ilia: I accept the team name. No mistake.

Neo: *agrees with smile*

Jaune: Guess we agree. But before we celebrate we have demonstrate, how useful we are, leave no trace to debate. So let’s start on our first case. What do you say?

Mercury, Ilia and Neo(with a sign): Bring it.

Jaune: Oh this will be great.

Nora: Can we stop rhyming.

[bonefall]

Golfy is literally one of my favorite cats of all time and I adore the way you’ve characterized her!! Any fun tidbits to share? I want to know more about the woman

There's a sketch of her floating around if you want to go on a treasure hunt! I don't have time to look for it right now (I am currently in the trunk of a clown car), but I've actually drawn a beta of her design and her big mane

Also note: BB!Goldenflower is part of the Doekin line. Speckletail's perception of herself and her family is tied strongly to being Doestar's niece. This association dies out with Thornclaw in BB!OotS as he's the last one to strongly value this legacy.

Golfy's mane is so poofy, unmanageabley poofy. She keeps it braided

Lionheart just surrendered to entrophy on that one lmao. "Dirt happens."

It's my little way of trying to show the difference between the siblings.

They're both proud and honorable, but Lionheart is more calm and patient. He's a Que Sera Sera kind of guy.

Goldenflower is more fond of the expression, "Fortune favors the prepared."

Note to self: Clanmewnize these expressions. Que Sera Sera is notably quite RiverClannish... Golfy's phrase is definitely from early ThunderClan

Not to get too distracted but I recently got this FANTASTIC idea for how to close out Book 3 of BB!DOTC on a bittersweet note, involving The First Boarhunt and Clear Sky being delightfully devious as always. Maybe it would be cool to put that phrase there... anyway.

She had three siblings total, Lionheart, Mistleclaw, and Snowkit. It's really difficult being the last one; family was extremely important to her.

Mistleclaw wasn't even a year out of apprenticeship; you're really considered an ADULT adult after being on your own for a year. Losing her was like losing a sibling who's college-aged. That was to the plague, before Firestar's arrival.

Smallear was openly the father of all four of them, but Goldenflower hesitates to call him Ba. Him and Speckletail had a really toxic on-again off-again thing.

Smallear was closest to Mistleclaw, who coincidentally looked the most like him. Goldenflower is like... "yeah thats what i expected of him, that fish-eared loser"

She's biased in favor of her mother though. Lionheart was more chill with Smallear; not CLOSE but, neutral-positive.

It wasn't entirely Smallear's fault that the relationship kept falling apart though, to be clear. I use toxic in this use very much on purpose, it wasn't abuse, they really cannot get along.

So when Goldenflower eventually picked a mate, she REALLY just wanted a stable lifepartner that would not be like that.

I would describe her relationship with Tigerclaw more in the terms of an "arrangement." Fishing for romantic information from her is VERY funny because she just like. Doesn't "get" romance.

Brambleclaw: "Mom... what did you... like about dad?"

"He was large, we were both very large. And he was a responsible warrior, respected and ambitious. Well... at the time we believed that. And he spoke with great confidence. He had a way of making you feel like you were both safe and powerful by his side."

It will not even click for her that most people don't open the answer to "why did you love x" with "he was tall like me"

(VINE BOOM AROACE FLAG)

She wanted kits and a partner. She doesn't regret the relationship, she regrets what he made her believe.

On Tigerclaw's end, it was mutual. They both liked each other as trusted Clanmates. He was attracted to her and reciprocated when she proposed a mateship, but I don't think he ever really got over Spottedleaf romantically.

Plus, getting into this family was a smart political move. Having Speckletail's approval was VERY useful.

I might stick Goldenflower as Head of Hunting through TNP to early Po3, until she trains a successor, since there's no rush. I have an allegiance list floating around but I can't remember off the top of my head if she's where she should be

She's actually super disappointed in Tawnypelt for her choice. I don't think they ever reconcile this, they're both too proud

So she's kinda iffy on that alliance with ShadowClan. Not to the point of spite, but she does easily believe stereotypes about them.

"A bunch of holdouts of TigerClan and duplicitous fiends over there."

Both Golfy and Tawnp miss each other a lot, but again. Neither one is going to apologize to the other or say the other was even slightly correct.

And Golfy wouldn't accept it if Tawnp even did. She made her choice. They're in different Clans now. She chose her father, who killed Swiftpaw and Lionheart.

And for that, Golfy will not forgive her.

If they ended up in a battle, neither would hold back. They both know this.

I'm really fond of her. She really is Speckletail's daughter and the whole family has a special flavor of pain and pride.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Anon who asked to share my thoughts. They might be a bit complicated since I'm not a native-English speaker so writing long stuff gets a bit rambly. Sorry, long.

To me the narrative between Zonai: Good Ganondorf(+Gerudo): Bad. Felt really weird because of how afraid Totk is about actually showing any kind of depth to the story.

Framing:

You start with, the story has a very black and white narrative. Sonia and Rauru are the good guys. You don’t even need to question it, because no matter what happens they are the good guys. They’re kind, just, and righteous.  No hint of any grey morality or anything. On the other side is Ganondorf, that guy doesn’t even get a second into his introduction in the 1st tear before he does something evil with no fanfare, no reasoning, we’re just dropped in the middle of his act of war. We are told “Yep, this guy is evil. You don’t even need to question it.” There’s not even a single line to give a background why he’s doing what he’s doing.

Ganondorf is standing against Rauru with a comparably miniscule number of warriors, vs Rauru who's got the allegiance of ALL the races in Hyrule including Gerudo and his superior power. We might not see that all the time, but the narrative makes it clear that this is the case. Why every race decided to bow down before them, and how they managed this feat is never explained, we’re just told this is the case. It feels very flat because again, it’s a “Just trust us, they’re the good guys.” We're just to believe no one objected, and everyone gladly decided to swear loyalty to the Zonai claiming to be backed by the Gods, and that all this happened with no hostilities beyond Ganondorf? That this was a completely peaceful takeover? Even with the Zora who already have their own royal-family? The Gerudo also already had their own line of succession, so what would they need a new King and Queen for?

Sonia and Rauru also seem very young, while I'd guess Ganondorf to be the equivalent of the older-adult Gerudo. Of course, Rauru might as well be much older than Ganondorf, we don’t know that, but even so, Rauru and Sonia both are seemingly very new to being rulers. It’s also not established if Zonai ruled before. Who the Zonai were in context to the other races. How the dynamics between all of them played out. Etc. (Heck, the game didn't even explain the connections between Barbarian armour set, which is Zonai in origin but actually has no real visual connection to anything we see.)

With Rauru also believing he's descended from the Goddesses, it gives a bit of an almost "born to rule" perspective even if he might not see it as that, but it comes across as such, especially since he says they founded Hyrule. Again, what was the Zonais role before they left? Were they equals, or did they always have a role of “ruling class”? Why would he think that him becoming King would be so much better for Hyrule? Was there war between the races? Was there some other issues that made it necessary?

While I can very much acknowledge that in this case Rauru and his folk ARE the good guys in this story, because that’s how this narrative works. What you see in Totk is what you get, there’s no depth to be explored, and you have to take it all at face value. I will still admit that if I could imagine this story to have more depth, and if this story had more layers, rather than just being very black and white, it could almost have become a “The good guys are blinded by their own hubris, and their overreach in wishing to rule the other races caused much civil war and strife within these races” where Ganondorf might have been the loudest and strongest faction against bowing before Rauru.

So factoring in the points already mentioned, a deeper story might have gone "Older King Ganondorf sees every race bowing down, even his own, before a Zonai calling himself descended from the Goddesses deciding he's in the right to rule above all other races, with his young Hylian wife. Only through their word and assurances that he has the "Godly" right to rule. Ganondorf refuses to acknowledge Rauru and Sonia as rulers above the Gerudo and even himself. A civil war breaks lose within the Gerudo, and Ganondorf and his people leave, while those bowing down to Rauru stay behind.” I've noted, the story never really actually explains how or why Rauru decided to establish new Hyrule. (I read all the ancient tablets, and they just skirt around it.) It also becomes extra strange when you note that Rauru already had the loyalty of the Gerudo, it just wasn’t Ganondorf and his group of Gerudo; whom he then insisted to try and win over.

I think with that idea in mind, Ganondorf's monologue about wasted potential about Rauru's powers could also makes sense as a callout against Rauru’s haughtiness and belief in his own Godly greatness: "So you're saying you're descended from Gods but you need a secret stone, and this is all you can do? Well now see how it goes when I even the playing-field." It becomes more of a "mortal challenging a God" dynamic. Even the Secret stones; Rauru only gave them to those who swore absolute fealty to him it seems, which could make sense, but it also makes it so that it puts him and Sonia, and his Kingdom above all the other races, with them his "servants" for a lack of a better word. Even if they are genuinely loyal to him, would that actually have meant they were the true rulers of their people? Or just the first ones to bow down. By Gerudo rule, Ganondorf was the true King of the Gerudo, yet a different Gerudo was appointed Chief it seems, when Ganondorf refused to bow down.

In Oot we at least got more of a foundation: 400 year war. Racism. Hyrule's King comes across as pretty incompetent. Koume and Kotake having a bad influence. (They also experienced at least 3 previous Gerudo King's in those 400 years, so wonder what happened there.) You get a better picture of Oot Ganondorf's motivation. I’m not saying Oot is perfect, but at least it wasn’t as black and white, and we actually did get some depth for motivations and reasons.

Yeah, fully agreed. Not much more notes to add haha.

Honestly, the more I think about it, and the more puzzled I am by the fact that the game chose to portray Ganondorf as the underdog of the conflict --not that he wasn't openly hostile since the very first second we see him, but it's established that he not only lived in Hyrule before Rauru's takeover AND that he couldn't scratch Hyrule even with his best efforts. If the game wanted me to feel sympathy towards Rauru and Sonia, the hylian/zonai side should have been actively struggling against the invasion, the secret stones the only thing barely keeping them out of harm until Ganondorf pretended an alliance (rather than a seddition) and then stole it from Sonia. At least make them equal in power, then it would have been clear that one side of the conflict plays dirtier than the other rather than... playing the only hand they were dealt with? And then, like, keep Ganondorf on the lookout for the rest of the stones? Or for zonite? Instead of exclusively focusing on eliminating Rauru and his allies? The game had many, many options to make Ganondorf pettier and motivated by power or greed in ways that were clearer and more coherent, and the fact that it didn't and made him this sort of puppet (ironically enough) that makes no internal sense whatsoever but solely exists to provide conflict for the heroes whenever needed really bugs me. It's just disrespectful towards the character they knowingly marketed as one of the core selling points of the game imho, and also disrespectful to the potential of the rest of their cast who deserved better stakes and character arcs.

[legionofpotatoes]

extremely bad faith mandalorian takes, do not engage please i cannot stop hysterically laughing at this season and thus am incapable of level-headed discourse. these are just words I want to write down to see if they look as unbelievable as they sound in my head

my favorite telltale sign of the embarrassing s3 story optics is their like. genuinely hilarious ostrich-neck-in-the-sand rehash of past story arcs down to the aesthetic fucking beats. that's the shit sandwich that really gets me in this whole stank buffet. It is astonishing. Like there was genuinely nothing else they could come up with as to not upset the status quo of their fickle, marketable story limbo, and so they, and I cannot stress this part enough, ignored established character progression beats and just did them again. they just did them again. from the top, using shockingly similar payoffs, right in front of our own eyes. and I just sat there and ate it!!

din has to re-love his toxic death cult after clearly progressing away from their value systems cause he's cooler with that helmet always on. gotta keep the limbo going. his main north star, set up as his way out of said cult, gets recruited into it instead, completely defanging the possibility of interrogating the entire bedrock of trauma and insecurity that kept uncomfortably clashing with his expressions of love and humanity in the past. now they're all one big happy gel of a Cool Dude With Gun and Kid. gotta keep the limbo going.

at some point he also has to re-learn his droid prejudices to then re-unlearn them again, a couple of times even, for no discernible thematic reason other than to make him act like an ass to some type of botched working class allegories (??? the fuck is going on with droids this season in general??). gotta keep the limbo going.

grogu, meanwhile, has to re-earn a mandalorian piece of armor to re-reinforce his allegiance (and here I was thinking the rond would be a pulpy setup for some shot-dead-fake-out but how can chekov's anything exist in this mangled mess), cause mandalorian culture is a live service videogame of tiered ranks now, so the potential upgrades are conveniently endless. gotta keep the limbo going. speaking of their culture, he also, hilariously, has to then be re-adopted by din to re-reveal their paternal bond and re-dramatize their love. cause he's not a foundling anymore, see; he's an apprentice now! the words are different. that makes the emotional meaning reset also. I know this from film school. audiences have no object permanence, right? they're all fish? we're writing this show for fucking fish, right? like in the aquariums? gotta keep the limbo going.

and they just keep doing this. they will dress it all up with technicalities and loud Plot Noise but it is all emotionally the same exact shit that has already happened and it is making me feel insane. same exact payoffs for backpedaled setups that were already, for all storytelling purposes, finished and done away with. it is comical. they're telling nothing. non-stories and recursive sisyphean plotlines that reset primitive character arcs every five episodes like it's the most unmoored bermuda triangle-ass time loop in space. you cannot even really twist it into some type of harmless expression in lieu of episodic TV, or even something more campy, cause like. it does have a rapidly progressing plotline about big and overarching stuff, stuff that is holistic, linear, and goal-oriented, like retaking homeworlds and reforging their broken nation and fighting mr gideon man. it's not a weekly detective romp with B plots galore, not anymore at least. but the characters somehow start and end in the same spots they always were. like the big ole smoking fucking gun that that is.

it feels like the most clear-cut example of plot moving forward - at breakneck speed sometimes - while characters progress either backwards or just. like. sideways and then back again?? almost like dropping a teabag into an empty mug and calling it a beverage. I see the pretty taste-making ingredient sitting sadly at the bottom there, but where's the substance? what is this all for? to wank it to how cool mandalorians look when they fly? I mean they can be pretty cool, no argument there. but some of them could be cooler if they felt things deeply and that changed them, fundamentally. you know, how A-to-B storytelling does sometimes.

and I am achingly aware that I am aging out of this show's target audience, I know that. but the death by comparison within the same bloody show's adjacent seasons is just as harrowing. what happened. it just worked too good is what. a corporation responsible for telling a myth will never allow it to finish if it suddenly starts hemorrhaging this much money. grogu and din can't progress, even aesthetically, past their season 1 selves, no matter how much that same season's story was setting them up to. cause inscrutable sad dad and cute doll baby combo. we'll either throw away those story hooks or keep resetting them. keep the limbo going.

groundhog day-ass show. it's hysterical. I can't be normal about how mask-off blatant this all is now.

and to follow this up to andor of all things. really clinches it, you know. no notes. just no notes, disney. tens across the board

[hadrian-pendragons]

HELLOOO its the one who ask about your fics again lol (sorry if I'm bothering you )

Since it's Ukyo's birthday, please tell me what make you like Ukyo as a character ( why notice him in a vast amount of people in dr stone and when did you know that you like him) have a nice day (can we please have an estimate time when you'll post a new ff - if there isn't it's fine! Please take your time!! And I AM SOOOO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT you will consider writing a sequel to Ocean Tide! I can wait for a year or 2 tbh as long as you're still writing and okay in life)

(Don’t worry about it, I love getting asks!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER!!

As for why I came to like Ukyou so much—it’s kind of related to writing him. Me and a friend were co-writing something for fun, and he turned into a major character. I ended up in love with writing him and his perspective.

I got attached to him because (in my interpretation of him) he is a character that values peace above all else—to the point of refusing to engage in conflict and looking for every alternative possible, which is something that can end up a flaw (backed up by his actions in Tsukasa’s Empire and to an extent in the treasure island arc). While in Tsukasa’s Empire, he never really had his allegiance questioned—something I like to attribute to his ability to keep his emotions in check and hidden behind a mask (or a smile). In that arc, his moral code gets backed into a corner. He turns a blind eye to Tsukasa shattering statues and, knowing he was horribly outmatched if he were to act out, tried (and failed) to tell himself it wasn’t equal to murder.

That kind of leads up to one of my favorite scenes in the manga: Chapter 73 and 74, when Ukyou talks to Senkuu over the phone. I feel like that scene is where Ukyou knew that his only chance at doing the right thing and succeeding, rather than opposing Tsukasa on his own and recklessly, was to hope that Senkuu was someone good. (I tend to have this in their dynamic when I write them a lot, with Senkuu being Ukyou’s hope and lifeline and confidence that they could do anything (even saving the world). And with Ukyou being Senkuu’s reassurance and the calm to his chaos.)

I think I loved Ukyou when I realized he was a character that understood the world’s darkness and was afraid—not of the darkness, but of the harsh decision between self-preservation and honoring his own beliefs and morals. He’s surprisingly realistic as a character, who keeps hoping for the best even when he falters, but can tell the difference between realistic and unrealistic expectations. (Which, when Senkuu promised, delivered, and then kept going far past the bar and the standards Ukyou held while at the same time working hard to make his goals happen, makes Ukyou feel grateful to have met Senkuu at all. He doesn’t admit it, but I like to think Ukyou felt like Senkuu saved him. And maybe that’s how Ukyou starts to fall a little bit in love with him.)

That turned into an essay, but I’ve been thinking about them for way too long and they continue to surprise me. Ukyou especially is just a character I’m forever going to be attached to. I love the entire Dr. Stone cast, but I just eat up the crumbs from the manga and anime, haha

As for when I’ll have a new fic, I can’t really give an estimate on that. I’m definitely a planner, but I’ve also been unable to write a lot lately (I’m hoping to work out a better pace with writing and work, since I’m a little bit sporadic despite all the planning I do). I’ll definitely remember to post here when I have a new fic, though! I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed reading them <3 It makes my day.

I hope you have a wonderful time, whatever part of the day it is for you! It’s a good night for me, thank you for the ask!

[archduchessofnowhere]

Hi! could you pls tell me more about Mathilde in Bavaria Countess of Trani? I feel like from all of Elisabeth's sisters, she's the one I know the least about and I'm not sure where to find detailed information. I'd love to know about her life, what her marriage was like and her relationship with her birth family and daughter (or daughters, if the claim of her alleged illegitimate child is true?) Also did she play any role/have any allegiance during ww1?

Hello! She is indeed the least known of the sisters, perhaps because she had an overall uneventful life. I've talked about her on this ask, and sadly I don't really have anything more substantial to add. What I didn't mention in it, however, was the alleged illegitimate daughter, since I wanted to elaborate it properly. So let's do that!

Allegedly, during her first years of marriage Mathilde had an affair with Spanish diplomatic Salvador Bermúdez de Castro, Duke of Ripalda, which resulted in the birth of a daughter, María Salvadora Bermúdez de Castro, born in 1864 in Villa Farnesina, in Rome. The girl was almost immediately sent to England, were she was raised by her paternal family, and later on adopted by her father. She never had any contact with her mother again.

Mathilde isn't the only one with an alleged out of wedlock child: her elder sister Marie also was rumored to have become pregnant by a lover and give birth to a girl in 1862. But here's the thing: in Marie's case, these rumors were contemporary. She suddenly left Rome for Bavaria in June of 1862, officially because she was ill, and in October she entered the convent of St. Ursula in Augsburg, which she only left in January (!) of the next year. And while I still haven't found convincing evidence of Marie actually having a child during her stay at the convent, is completely understandable that the rumor spread like wildfire: newspapers reported that she was having some sort of marital crisis at the beginning of 1862, then she suddenly left her husband because of an unclear illness, and then nobody physically saw her for MONTHS. She finally returned Rome in April 1863, ten months after she left. And if you fall from the face of Earth for ten months OF COURSE people is going to think you were pregnant (specially if these people want to ruin your reputation after you became the symbol of the Bourbon cause).

But as far as I'm aware there is nothing even remotely similar in Mathilde's case. So far I haven't been able to find a "window" in which you can fit a pregnancy, nor any rumors about her around 1864. In fact, how could she possibly hide a pregnancy and have a secret child in ROME, right under the noses of her husband and in-laws and even the Pope? It just doesn't make sense. I still don't know where the story of her having a daughter in Villa Farnesina originated, but I do know that it wasn't in the 19th century.

That being said, María Salvadora did exist and was Bermúdez de Castro's illegitimate daughter, that much is true. Upon his death in 1883 she was the sole heiress of his money and titles. His will was actually reported in newspapers, since he owned a fortune. Here is an article from the Italian newspaper Fanfulla, from June 16 of 1883 (machine translation):

THE RIPALDA WILL Yesterday, the will of the Duke of Ripalda was found in the Farnesina Palace. It was opened by the Spanish consul in Rome, Juan Rodriguez Rubi, in the presence of the Italian judicial authority, a nephew of the deceased duke, who came three days ago from Barcelona, and other witnesses. The will is made by public deed in Madrid, now four years old; a codicil made in Rome last year is added. The fortune left by the Duke of Ripalda is calculated at 5 million Italian lire, valuing the Farnesina at two million, and counting the 750,000 lire that the deceased still owed the Italian government for the expropriation of part of the garden of the Farnesina, due to the work on the Tiber. This sum may even increase, as a dispute before the Italian courts has begun. The late duke has appointed as his universal heir one of his natural daughters recognised and legitimised by will, according to Spanish law, Dona Maria Salvadora Bermúdez de Castro, a nineteen-year-old girl, who is currently being educated in an institution in Cologne. Some portraits of the young heiress found among the duke's papers depict her with an uncommon aloofness. The duke, in his will, conceals, as is natural, the mother's name, but says that his heiress is hija de ilustre y hermosa señora [daughter of an illustrated and beautiful lady]. The executors of the will are the Duke of Vista Hermosa senator and Grandee of Spain, Don Francisco Cardenas ex-ambassador to the Holy See, Augusto Conta minister in Vienna, and the ambassador of Spain to the Holy See, who would have been in caries at the time of the testator's death. As guardian of the universal heir, the duke appointed Dona Incarnacion O'Lavolor de Bermudez de Castro, wife of his elder brother, living in Madrid. The will also mentions many legacies, gifts and pensions to relatives, old servants and the poor in Rome and Madrid. He also leaves to the ex-king of Naples a large painting by Raphael, currently in the National Gallery in London, valued at one million, and another painting by Titian, placed in the great hall of the Farnesina, plus a legacy of 50,000 lire for the ex-king and another of the same amount for the ex-queen Maria Sofia! The deceased had the name Salvador Bermúdez de Castro, marchase of Lema, Duke of Ripalda, prince of Santa Lucia. The latter title was not recognised in Spain, since the title of prince can only be borne by persons belonging to the royal family. The title of Marquis of Lema will go to the nephew, the son of Dona Incarnacion; the other two to the universal heir, who will thus add the princely and ducal crowns to a fortune of 5 million. If, however, this is not possible, the two titles will be carried by the guardian. The will closes with a sentence that shows the deceased's foresight and finesse. In it, it is said that if, as a result of trials, his daughter were to lose everything he had left her in his will, his fortune, instead of coming by right into the hands of his relatives, should all be distributed to the poor. The Duke of Ripalda shall have his grave at Campo Verano, which he prescribes modest, and on which shall be written only his name.

So in 1883 the only piece of information you could find about Maria Salvadora's mother was "illustrated and beautiful lady". I'm not aware if this kind of phrasing shows a particular attachment towards the girl's mother or if it was convencional, but in any case nothing really points at Mathilde.

María Salvadora moved to Spain some time later and in 1890 married Álvaro Pérez de Barradas Fernández de Córdova, Marquis Peñaflor. The marriage remained childless. I couldn't find much information about her, only that she wrote a book about the life of Sancha Alfonsa de León. She died in 1944 in Madrid, at the age of 80.

Do I believe that Mathilde was her mother? So far I'm not convinced. I need something that tangibly connects Mathilde with Bermúdez de Castro + a window for a possible pregnancy. Otherwise, you literally only have a story that did not even exist until some years ago. In fact, in the 1860s Marie was the one rumored to have been too close to the Spanish diplomatic, not her younger sister. Do with that what you will.

As for the last part of your question: I don't know if she did something during WWI, but honestly I haven't looked into it either. If I found something about it I'll share it!

Thank you for your question and sorry that I couldn't tell you more!

[armchairaleck]

Ayy, I have been very quiet on here cos I ran out of juice a bit, but I have been thinking dumb thoughts nonetheless…

Post Puzzle House stuff I keep thinking about:

Kpp’Ar

While I’m super sad Kpp’Ar did not make it into ANY actual panels of the comic, I still love the contrast between the way he roasted dream Viren in s5 with the way he clearly put painstaking thought and care into his carousel ride for Soren and Claudia… go grandad :)

Anyway I have been considering the reason why Kpp’Ar was looking for a unicorn ion the first place… and why Atticus thought he was building a strange and powerful magical contraption… and I kinda like the idea that Kpp’Ar was already thinking about slaying an archdragon way before Viren and Harrow got in on the act… maybe because this was the diplomatic route he and Atticus decided to take through human/Xadian relations…

And that Viren had an inkling of what was going on and begged for said horn to be used to help Soren instead and got a lecture on putting the greater good of the kingdom ahead of individual gain. A lecture which spectacularly backfired when he coined Kpp’Ar and took the High Mage post, but which came back with a vengeance ten years down the line when he valued an egg over the life of his son… priorities right… idk… I'm figuring Kpp'Ar would have had a change of heart anyway but there is a lot of room in my head for a version of events that is a little darker than the show and while I know it won’t be this, I do like my mages troubled and twisted...

Claudia

Eh Claudia only being able to open up her emotions to a giant rock and then the words of comfort she’s given - you will find a way like a river through rock... which is very Claudia… or even a rock through a river of lava… ahem...

Anyway Claudia’s the ideas one in the family… Viren is… IDEK… sometimes I’m like my guy what are you doing? You pick up a two headed soul fang serpent on your way through the midnight desert AND YET it’s Claudia who has to come up with the soul swap idea? Like were you planning on keeping this as an exotic and highly dangerous pet just for the hell of it?

Claudia figures out the puzzle house, Claudia gets the unicorn horn, Claudia finds a way through the border and whenever Viren is asked what’s the plan dude he’s just like… meh… dunno let’s wing it? I would bet it was Claudia who came up with illusion Viren for Soren to stab, she’s doing all the heavy lifting and it started here...

Still, I am super invested in her and Viren’s weird co-dependence because it’s messy and full of angst and their own special sort of unhealthy love.

The family hugs become a little more awkward over the years... but they try

Viren

Haha while Viren really only portrayed his woeful parenting skills in this comic - it’s complicated does seem the appropriate tagline to his life…  

Soren

Welp, since his change of allegiance in s3 I don’t think so much about Soren… my bad, it’s just the horrible sort of person I am, but eh book Soren was pretty cute... baby Soren weirds me out a little with his big eyes and his “daddy daddy”.

A Unicorn glade just existing somewhere in Katolis??

This… this is like something that drives me a little crazy… plus I am a sucker for The Last Unicorn and Legend and I fully sympathise with Kpp’Ar going through his my little pony unicorn phase and having crisis of conscience when he realises he’ll never find one…

Post Season 5 stuff I have been thinking about:

Viren’s Dark Magic Dream…

Yup... nothing else to say here… lmao

[grahamstoney]

Cults are Fun, Easy and Popular

New Post has been published on https://grahamstoney.com/spirituality/cults-fun-easy-popular

Cults are Fun, Easy and Popular

I’m fascinated by the phenomenon of cults, and our inherent vulnerability to the influence of charismatic leaders. The topic also touches on another personal interest, the human desire and ability we have to embrace supernatural and unsubstantiated beliefs.

My personal definition of the term cult is:

A derogatory term for any religious or philosophically-based minority group whose core beliefs and values you don’t personally agree with.

Yes, I know it’s a little different from the wiktionary definition, but I want to emphasise that cultness is in the eye of the beholder. It’s a derogatory term, rarely used by the members of the cult in question, although they may use it freely referring to other cults; just not their own. When you’re in a cult, you don’t see that it’s a cult. So when someone else uses the word cult, what they really mean is that they don’t like the other group and don’t agree with their beliefs or values. And they probably aren’t that happy about the whole mind-control thing, indoctrination processes, people devoting their lives to lost causes or cult leaders getting rich and/or famous at the expense of their members. I get that.

So why do people join cults, and why do they stay?

Successful cults seem to have these attributes:

A charismatic leader

A belief system that offers hope

A strong sense of community

Disincentives for leaving

Despite the emphasis our society places on rational thinking, we are emotional creatures deep down. We make all our decisions based on how we expect the outcome will make us feel, then we create rational justifications for why we’ve made a good choice. People join cults because it makes them feel good; at least initially. Once they’re there, they may stay because they think they will feel bad if they leave. Which is probably true. I felt pretty bad when [intlink id=”530″ type=”post”]I gave up Christianity[/intlink]; and then there’s the whole deprogramming and admitting you got it wrong thing. The fear of feeling bad if you leave is quite well-founded.

Take as an example Harold Camping from Family Radio. It would be easy to write people like him off people as nutcases, but he’s hardly an isolated incident. This guy has made millions from his prophetic pronouncements of doom and it doesn’t matter that he said the world would end on May 21, 2011 and yet it clearly didn’t. He just makes a new pronouncement that reinterprets this apparent failure as if everything is still going to plan for the real end of the world, on October 21 when:

“…we can be sure that the whole world, with the exception of those who are presently saved (the elect), are under the judgment of God, and will be annihilated together with the whole physical world on October 21, 2011”.

As a retired engineer, he gets rich and feels powerful like never before spouting this kind of crap. People listen to him. They pay attention to his every word. Engineers don’t normally get that kind of respect. I’m a retired engineer too, so I can relate. I want people to listen to me too. But is the world really going to be annihilated later this month?

Yeah, right. I’ll stick my neck out and prophesy that absolutely nothing out of the ordinary will happen on October 21, and come October 22 or so we’ll have a new pronouncement from Mr Camping claiming that the world actually did end but we just didn’t notice. Along with a new end date. Of course if you keep prophesying disaster long enough, eventually you’ll land a date where some natural disaster actually happens by sheer coincidence and ignorant people will think you foretold it, because matching coincidences is how our brains work. The interesting thing about failed prophecy is that some followers actually strengthen their faith and allegiance to the cult leader in an attempt to avoid their uncomfortable feelings of having obviously backed the wrong horse.

People inside cults are always the last to acknowledge that it’s a cult. Scientology is a classic example. I have to be careful what I say, because Scientoligists are litigious and have no sense of humour. I bet they try to prove me wrong with a lawsuit, forcing me to explain the concept of irony to them. Anyway, their religion is the perfect example of how people are willing to follow a leader without questioning or researching the basis of his teachings. All it takes is a quick trip to your local library or Google search to discover that Scientology’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard, was a science-fiction writer. So he creates a religion using the latest teachings of the human potential movement mixed with some loopy alien schtick, and amasses mega-rich followers. He makes a fortune and a few hundred lawsuits later, his cult is well established. Clearly what Scientology teaches works to some degree; the Dianetics audit process sounds like cross between hypnosis, Rogerian and Narrative therapy. But you can learn everything you need to know about healing the emotional baggage from your past down at the local library without buying expensive Scientology training packages.

Mormonism is another great and relatively recent example than reeks of being made-up. The story of Joseph Smith acquiring the Book of Mormon has holes in it you could drive a Mach truck through; yet millions believe it without question. Another fun thing about cults is the way they point fingers at each other, without noticing the flaws in their own belief system.

People’s Temple leader Jim Jones and the Jonestown massacre is a frightening reminder that our vulnerability to cult leaders can end horribly. The Branch Davidians and the Waco seige is another. Need I mention Charles Manson or Heaven’s Gate?… Hey, who did they leave behind to keep the website running? It would be easy to write these off as isolated incidents only affecting very vulnerable people, but they keep happening. A lot of it comes down to the hypnotic effect that charismatic leaders can have on any of us. Adolf Hitler managed to hypnotise millions of ordinary Germans into supporting unspeakable violence against marginalised people. Unless we acknowledge our personal vulnerability to this kind of influence, we remain vulnerable too.

I’ve been interested in personal development for a long time, searching for some kind of cure for the low self-esteem and anxiety that seemed to cut right to my core. One of the most powerful courses I’ve done is The Landmark Forum, which often attracts the cult label. Landmark’s teaching is based on taking full responsibility for your life, creating amazing possibilities for yourself, inspiring other people and then using peer pressure to keep you accountable for making it happen. It’s pretty amazing stuff, and I still use some of the distinctions I learned there from time-to-time: Am I a spectator, or am I in the game? Am I being responsible here? Am I blaming others and running a racket on them? I’m currently doing their Living Passionately Seminar to get a sense of purpose and to live my life with ease and grace. It’s only week 1 but I’m starting to feel more excited about life already. And I can relax now because I even just did this weeks homework!

As my first Landmark seminar leader said: “It’d be a weird cult that keeps telling you to get in touch with the people in your lives”. One of the most powerful things I learned at Landmark was to stop being defensive. When people start slapping derogatory labels like “cult” on your latest thing, don’t get all reactive; just ask what they mean by that and look where else in their life cynicism, resignation and fear might be hurting them.

But some of the people I meet at Landmark act like robots; always busy applying distinctions and thinking thinking thinking. Totally out of touch with their emotions. Not really in the present, as [intlink id=”355″ type=”post”]Eckhart Tolle[/intlink] would say. Ultimately, the idea is to internalise the concepts and be responsible, be powerful, be present; not to think about it all the time. Depending on how you use them, the same tools that can make you more present and deepen your communication with others can also make you less present because you’re thinking about the tools all the time. That leaves you more detached from your emotions, and hence your personal power.

Another amazingly powerful course I’ve done is called Path of Love. Their process is awesome for dealing with troubling emotions like guilt, fear, and shame. I’ve done it twice, and I highly recommend it. The process is heavily based on the teachings of Osho, previously known as the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. He had an amazing ability to mix Eastern and Western philosophy and teach it in a hypnotic manner that made many of his followers fall in love with him. His teaching contains much practical wisdom: he invented dynamic meditation, because he recognised that the Western mind was too busy to just sit and that we needed to move our bodies in order to break the constant cycle of nervous thinking. His advocacy of open sexual relationships also appealed to the generation who just missed out on the whole 60’s free love thing. And he was funny. Everyone loves that.

Yet Osho’s foray into setting up an ashram in the U.S. showed that all was not well and something had gone amiss, at least for some Sannyasins. Back when I was in high school, the Orange People scandal broke when his sidekick Ma Sheela ran off with buckets of the faithful’s cash. You could blame her, but what on earth were said faithful thinking; didn’t they notice their guru’s penchance for expensive Mercedes’ on his daily drive-bys? Why did they keep giving him money? When interviewed by Australian current affairs program 60 Minutes, Ma Sheela’s response to the scandal was: “What can I say. Tough titties”. This legendary answer got a picture of her giving us all the bird plastered across the front page of the daily newspaper, and thence across the folder for my Year 12 Economics notes. I had no idea that 20 years later I’d come full-circle and find myself at a course inspired by the teachings of the very guru she betrayed. I don’t care about Year 12 Economics now, but I sure wish I’d kept the folder. Yet despite the scandal, I find the process the Bagwan inspired tremendously powerful.

At one of the emotional healing bootcamps on the life coach training course I did run by Beyond Success, Paul Blackburn jokingly described the community surrounding his successful personal development company as “It’s a cult, but it’s a good cult!”. He probably also said we shouldn’t quote him on that; I can’t remember. Well at least he has a sense of humour about it.

Most recently, I’ve begun to start my day with a series of Yoga, Meditation and Breathwork that I learned from the Art Of Living foundation, in an attempt to deal with the stress and anxiety that I experience from chronic fatigue syndrome. I wouldn’t say I enjoy it, but I do feel better afterwards and it seems to be helping. Art Of Living appears to be dedicated to noble goals like world peace through inner transformation, yet even it has its detractors. There’s a charismatic leader, a belief system mixing Hindu & Buddhist ideas, a strong sense of community, and disincentives for leaving; like only being allowed to do the full Sudarshan Kriya in groups with other followers led by an officially sanctioned teacher.

Seems like just about any organisation can be considered a cult. Some people even wonder if public speaking and leadership training organisation Toastmasters is a cult.

Nowadays, I like to joke about the cults I join. Not take it all so seriously. Almost any group you hang out with has cult-like followers avoiding dealing with feelings like loneliness and powerlessness. Even the volleyball crowd I used to mix with had a coach with some followers who played and trained with religious zeal. Every major religion has teachings to help followers avoid anxieties like our primal fear of death, and religions share many of the cult attributes I mentioned earlier: Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Catholicism, etc etc all have a charismatic leader, belief systems, communities and disincentives if you up and leave. But they’re too mainstream to be considered cults by most people since they’re not small minority groups.

I’ve decided to start my own cult. I’ll be a witty, engaging, entertaining and charismatic cult leader. A cut above the rest. My followers will love me, and they’ll know how to show it. Women will throw themselves at me, and men will throw their money as I dispense indispensable wisdom. I found this great video to help get me started:

Ultimately the thing that really interests me about cults is how the leaders became so persuasive that people were willing to follow them no matter what. I’ve just read The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Persuasion for some tips, and it said that when our willingness and ability to think is low, people are easily persuaded by ideas that are fun, easy and popular. That must be what it is.

[barneyandthepoetrymuse]



The court of the undeserved…..



Send a casual text and feel it come back burnt…..

They’ll be no side affects and words don’t even hurt…..

I suppose it’s about the context…not what’s been overheard…..

What’s the point in protest, it’ll only make things worse…..

Over the dinner table with the Doctor and the nurse…..

Diagnosing problems while the logic is dispersed…..

They’re out to solve you, and make you more diverse….

It’s not what we say, it’s who says the last thing first…..

Sliding out the chairs to rest on the arms and knees that jerk…..

Writing up conclusions on shredded paperwork…..

Allegiances that swear and don’t let free thinking emerge…

Not all chambers echo the changes to the world…..

So undesirable, shall I alter the colour of my shirt….?

Is this the encore and when did I miss the whole concert…..?

If this is the chorus…are we missing another verse…..?

I don’t know why you didn’t just talk to me first……….

This feels like the court…..of the undeserved…..?

Who’s more persuasive or pervasive with their words…?

Guilty by association or getting on your nerves…..?

Are we advocating for…..contradicting terms…..?

Where’s the understanding and who will it affirm…..?

All this education and there’s nothing left to learn…..?

I’m not saying…it’s not right to raise concerns…..

Are you the journey bird or unsuspecting worm………?

Look the other way from what’s already observed…..

Just because it’s his, it doesn’t make it hers…..

Anecdotally…we are diseased without their cures…..

Are we all fit and healthy or are we getting worse…..?

If I’m not there, you don’t have to see me if that works…..

Close and shelve the book…..and leave out the inserts…..?

Can’t end all chapters in depth without expecting a few births…..

The statues quo’s value is not what you think it’s worth…..

We’ll keep the change but won’t put it back in the purse…..

It’s all so engrained and yet so easily dispersed…..

Listen to what’s explained, don’t be so quick to convert…..

We give into the trends of the politically correct experts…..

Is this the opinion in the court…..of the undeserved….

Which one of us is winning now justice has been served…..?

We forgot how to listen…..so let the two things converge…..

The wheels are in motion, the gears are in reverse…………………………………..

[leonbloder]

The Antidote for Toxic Masculinity In The Church

I was reading an article recently about the Stronger Men Conference in Springfield, MO, and how some controversy arose regarding a shirtless, sword-swallowing male acrobat who was part of the Christian conference's entertainment.

During one entertainment portion, a tank driven by Chuck Norris also crushed a couple of cars, but that's beside the point.

Apparently, to some of the dudes gathered at this conference designed to teach men about the subtle art of patriarchy and how to protect it, the acrobat touched a nerve, and their overt homophobia kicked in.

This led to some pretty awful diatribes about LGBTQ+ people and a doubling down on why it's essential to keep "those people" out of church and relegated to the margins of society.

The level of hatred, bigotry, and downright meanness that was put on display was pretty impressive, even for a bunch of fired-up, angry white Christian nationalist dudes.

[To paraphrase Shakespeare here, "Methinks they doth protest too much." Just saying.]

I've been to conferences like this in the past (minus the sword-swallowing acrobat, though), and let me tell you, the vitriol that gets spilled in those spaces about anyone who is considered an "other" is very real.

Jesus once told his followers to "love your enemies" and "pray for those who persecute you." He couched this in an exhortation that went something like this:

"It's easy to love your loved ones; nothing extraordinary about that. But if you extend your love to those you have considered an "enemy," now that's something special."

A better way to interpret the word "enemy" here is "someone who opposes you, your beliefs, identity, etc.

But it feels like Jesus' teachings are falling on deaf ears in the Church, and not just in the right wing. There's plenty of animosity from all sides.

The question that many of us might have is, "How did we get here? How did we get to a place where there are so many Christians who think it's perfectly all right to hate, discriminate, fear-monger, and condemn anyone who is different or who disagrees with them?"

And what do we do about it?

In a recently written article titled "The Evangelical Church is Breaking Apart," Peter Wehner explores the resurgence of this behavior among Christians today.

He writes that when politicians could (without many Christians blinking an eyelash) add open hatred and resentment to the political-religious stance of ‘true believers,’ it crossed a line. "Tribal instincts seem to have become overwhelming.”

Wehner then goes on to say that the dominance of political religion over professed religion is seen in how, for many, loyalty to political figures became a blind allegiance.

The result is that many Christians “have come to see a gospel of hatreds, resentments, vilifications, put-downs, and insults as expressions of their Christianity, for which they too should be willing to fight.”

This brings me back to the Stronger Men Conference.

From attending conferences like this in the past, I know that well-meaning, devoted, faithful followers of Jesus attend those conferences. And I know from experience that most of them filter out the good from the bad.

What they crave is community, connection, and affirmation.

They have been told their whole lives that they need to act a certain way, never show emotion, and be strong and courageous, yet many live lives of quiet desperation, feeling not good enough, not strong enough.

The Church needs to offer them more than toxic masculinity, bigotry, and hatred. The Church needs to give them a real glimpse into Jesus's life.

No politician and few mega-church pastors will offer them Jesus, however, without first making Jesus in their own image.

We must listen more carefully to Jesus's words about love, inclusion, sacrifice, and salvation. We all need to hear the intrinsic value of loving everybody, which is inextricably bound to a life of following Christ.

We all need to do everything we can to ensure that the Church of Jesus Christ does not entirely lose its way.

May it be so, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all, now and forever. Amen.

[i-forgot-my-homework]

Why Do I have to say it?

Every morning from kindergarten to 8th grade, after just arriving to class, I was expected to get up and say the Pledge of Allegiance. And before I even had any nuanced thoughts or critiques about America, I was already sick of it. Why did I have to say the pledge of allegiance, who actually cared if I said it? After learning that other countries don’t have similar rules/customs, it made me realize just how weird and almost culty it was; Making the youth pledge allegiance to the country they are in every morning, it’s weird to say out loud. Almost like “indoctrinating the youth”.

I don’t think it’s actually that malicious but it was still annoying. What made it annoying was the adults reaction to not doing it. Some of them just told us all to stand up because they were likely just following the school’s rules, and thought it just seemed “appropriate”. But every once in a while, you’d get a teacher who was too into it. I had a teacher who served in the Marines, and I heard he made his first period class get up for the pledge every morning. At that age, you just give into the pressure and follow orders as to not get into trouble. Looking back now, that definitely must’ve been against some rule, but also just unnecessary. Yes, words can have meaning and power behind them but it’s still just a speech, and I think it’s fair to assume that a 6th grader doesn’t necessarily care about the patriotism behind reciting the pledge.

Annoyances aside, I think the real issue comes up when the pledge is expected. What happens when someone doesn’t agree with the pledge. There's are a lot of things that people can critique about the country, and what if you don’t agree with the messaging. Do you risk expulsion? 

I remember there was an issue where a friend of mine, who was part of our school’s chorus, didn’t want to sing along to the national anthem. And then there was a big fuss over it from our school’s music teacher. 

In the end, free choice won and she didn’t have to sing along but why make it such an issue in the first place? It shouldn’t be expected for people, much less children, to be patriotic. We already have separation of religion in public schools- could you make the argument that when patriotism is so strong it almost becomes like a religion?

I feel like that also goes against the values of the country. No one should ever feel forced to recite anything no matter what the words represent. 

“Free speech” is touted as the holy grail in this country but people seem to forget that it’s then also within free speech to go against or critique this very same country. (i.e The outrage from Kaepernick's kneeling) But I feel like it's as important to tackle this issue on the smaller scale like we see in schools. I don’t think it should be expected, or much worse, required for schools to have their students recite the pledge. In fact, some states actually do. In some cases there are even consequences for not doing so, which contradicts "free speech" ; And looking at the bigger picture, it limits a student's/person's right to freely express themselves. It's worse that it takes place in school, a place that should foster learning and expression.

Growing up in NY, the teachers were more lenient when it can to reciting the pledge (some wouldn’t participate either). But not every school is the same, and knowing that somewhere in the country, in some town or school district, some kid has to get every morning just to stand for a pledge, seems to go against this country's fight for "freedom".

[tabi-wa-michizure]

It’s really interesting to read everyone’s perspectives on this. Literally right after I finished ep 6 (and was still wading through the morass of my own thoughts and emotions), I read this post, and I had such a different reaction. So, thanks, @thesherrinfordfacility for this take!

Prefacing my response/analysis by saying that I love both characters, and the book, and the show, but this take is possibly a bit hard on Aziraphale. (spoilers ahead)

While I definitely don’t think Crowley is blameless, I don’t think he’s just as bad as Aziraphale (here, or overall). Crowley isn’t great with words, at least compared to Aziraphale, and he’s readily admitted that on more than one occasion. He tries his best to show Aziraphale with his actions, and the few times he does attempt to say things, Aziraphale pretty much throws it back in his face. Think of “I lost my best friend,” in S1, or “SO DID I!” in S2E1. I think Aziraphale is just not ready to acknowledge things in words (“You go too fast for me, Crowley.”), and Crowley respects that and steps back each time.

I also think that Aziraphale does still have some allegiance to Heaven: he still talks about it as being ‘good’, about angels being the good guys, etc. I interpret Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven as being traumatic in some ways: there are thought patterns engrained there that are insidious, and hard to completely break free from. I figured some of that would remain even after the end of S1, but I thought his refusing to fight then, and subsequent trip to Hell, were a rejection of Heaven (though not God), so while I was expecting him to have some issues still to work through, I didn’t expect what happened.

I kind of agree about Aziraphale trying to be the change he wants to see in the world, but I actually think Crowley does, too: the problem is that Aziraphale believes Heaven is good, despite a few ‘bad apples’, and that he can use Heavenly power to do good in the world. Crowley thinks that Heaven and Hell are both toxic, and that to be who they really are, they need to break free of both. I am firmly on Crowley’s side here, not to mention that the last time Aziraphale tried to go through Heaven to make a positive change, he was blocked BY THE METATRON at the end of S1!

Re: the next part, I don’t think Aziraphale is refusing to acknowledge Crowley’s shortcomings at all. I think he sees the good in Crowley, and conflates it with the Good he sees Heaven representing, and just assumes Crowley would want to go back to being an angel, because that’s such an intrinsic part of Aziraphale’s own identity.

Which brings me to an aspect of Aziraphale this season that made me genuinely uncomfortable: how much he assumes, and the ways in which he both manipulates Crowley and takes advantage of him. I think both Aziraphale and Crowley are aware he’s doing it, but especially with the mirroring (though possibly not intentional mirroring) of the way Nina’s partner treats her, it made me wince.

>>Injecting here that I feel like S2 Crowley was a little closer to Book!Crowley in terms of characterization, while Aziraphale seemed to stray farther from his book characterization. Book!Aziraphale definitely had his moments of feeling superior to Crowley and demons/Hell in general, but I didn’t get the impression that he would expect Crowley to want to become an angel again, at least by the end of the book.

Aziraphale was always a bit selfish in both book and show: he deeply values his own comforts, possessions, and experiences, but this season shows him assuming A LOT about Crowley. When he made the comment about how he lets Crowley rescue him because he loves doing it so much, I actually cringed. Anthony J ‘Acts of Service’ Crowley has been trying to show Aziraphale with actions how he feels, since he can’t say the words. When Crowley rescues him from the Bastille, it was “the happiest he’d felt in ages.” Crowley burned his feet in the church coming to rescue Aziraphale. When Crowley talks about protecting his life in S2E1, Aziraphale counters with it being THEIR lives, but still assumes he can make a decision, and Crowley will go along with it. To be fair, that has been their pattern. But then to call the Bentley THEIR car and insist on driving it!? When Crowley willingly gave up the keys, that basically screamed “I LOVE YOU,” because they car is so damned precious to him. And then Aziraphale took it and turned it yellow!? Definitely crossing boundaries, and I didn’t care so much that Crowley was throwing around some of his books.

So, The Kiss. I didn’t read it as manipulation or temptation at all, and was honestly a bit shocked when others did. Crowley maybe tempted Aziraphale into trying food millennia earlier, or into starting the Arrangement (though I don’t think he used magic for either of those; I think he just persuaded Aziraphale to do something Aziraphale already wanted to do), but this read like Crowley being overwhelmed.

When he kissed him, Crowley had set a boundary: he told Aziraphale how he felt and what he wanted, and when Aziraphale countered by saying that he did want to be together, only as angels (shitting on who Crowley is and has been for ages), and with Crowley subservient to him (f— that), so that they could do what Aziraphale wants (he never asked Crowley), and Aziraphale’s already said yes to this life-altering thing before even trying to talk to Crowley about it (seriously??), Crowley gave the whole thing a hard pass. And then Aziraphale called him back, with a tremulous voice, trying to convince him to stay (but under the conditions Aziraphale set).

I think Crowley just snapped. He’d used words, and again they didn’t get through to Aziraphale, so he reverted to saying what he wanted with actions, kissed Aziraphale to show him what he wanted, and what they could have—and when Aziraphale rejected it, Crowley respected that. He stood there and saw Aziraphale off to Heaven, because what else could he do.

Aziraphale’s “I forgive you” was a slap in the face, because Crowley doesn’t WANT forgiveness. I don’t think it was in reference to the kiss at all; I think Aziraphale prides himself on being good at forgiveness, but is terrified of needing to ask for it himself. Think of him seeking reassurance at the Wall, after Job, etc. He needs to be told he’s still a Good Angel™️ who did nothing wrong. I also think “I forgive you” is Aziraphale’s way of saying he loves Crowley: he thinks Crowley wants forgiveness, deserves forgiveness, and he can’t bring himself to say he loves Crowley, because he doesn’t really know how to love up close and personal, as opposed to the general blanket angelic love. (The P&P ball kind of makes that apparent, IMO.) Not that he doesn’t love Crowley, but I think he doesn’t know what to do with a love that deep and personal (and, yes, selfish).

I didn’t feel that Crowley had one foot out the door throughout their relationship, but more that Aziraphale did, because of Heaven and the need for plausible deniability. Aziraphale can justify eating, being comfortable, hoarding books, etc, but he can’t quite seem to accept that he loves Crowley as he is

okay let's get them hard truths out in the open following episode 6, bearing in mind that i am in the UK and am therefore chronically sleep-deprived, and have watched the Feral Domestic™ maybe only like oh 7 times:

crowley is as much at fault as aziraphale. they are both as bad as each other. their own individual idiosyncrasies are literally the other's emotional downfall and if im honest im not entirely sure there's any way they can adequately move past it.

waxed on and on and on about it, but aziraphale's issue is not that he has any allegiance to heaven. he doesn't at all, and that is obvious in his initial reaction to the metatron, in that he essentially says that he knows his place and it is not Up Above. it is right there in the bookshop, and with crowley (even if he didn't consciously think it that explicitly at the time). he doesn't want any part of the heaven that it currently is, he has had enough and is tired of trying to be the angel that hides who he is and what he wants from his existence. that much is very much clear.

but the mantra throughout most of life is to be the change you want to see in the world. look at the major societal issues that are happening in the world today; people are rising up and fighting for what is right, and what they believe in, and wanting to make changes. now look at this opportunity that aziraphale has been given. regardless of the questionable motive of the metatron offering it to him; if you were in his position, could you say you'd find it easy to refuse that?

crowley's issue is twofold. one, he cannot move on from the fall. second, that he is sometimes a manipulative and childish shit. the first is obvious, and his recent experiences with heaven have only compounded this (ie his conversation with gabriel/goob, where he lays into him about gabriel's part in the cruelty shown towards aziraphale to the point he almost makes goob kill/injure himself). crowley can also however be incredibly cruel borne out of his own pain. there were major hints in s2 that not only did crowley fall (no matter what the metatron says, im still not convinced he fell for only asking questions) but he fell from a great sodding height that in his mind should have made him untouchable. my thoughts on morality in heaven have already been discussed, but that must have had a huge impact on crowley; it is no wonder that it's a sore point and he feels bitter, resentful, and angry.

the issue here with aziraphale is that he (again, ill harp on about it until the cows come home) thinks that crowley - this demon that isn't a good demon because he is good and kind and gentle - would want to have his place in making that change happen; be by aziraphale's side whilst they create the world and heaven that is different from the largely shit one they've always known, hated, and feared. this is where the Pedestal comes in; like i said before, aziraphale has now been confronted with the fact that this demon, his best friend and love of his life, is acting in the way he's always acted but that aziraphale refuses to acknowledge... because to acknowledge crowley's shortcomings (which ill discuss in a sec) would be to question aziraphale's faith in him, and mean falling from the pedestal that has been aziraphale's status quo for the last few thousand years at minimum.

edit: this also needed adding because it touches on aziraphale's tendency to hold himself superior to crowley, which he also does in the Domestic scene.

in the above context, id want nothing to do with heaven either. but crowley doesn't communicate and im guessing that his feelings about the fall are a No Go area in terms of what he's shared with aziraphale... so for crowley to assume that aziraphale turned down the metatron is grossly unfair - how was aziraphale necessarily meant to know how deep his trauma (if we're applying human mental health constructs) runs? he isn't to know that at all - so it does track that aziraphale would think that crowley would want to help him make a difference so they don't have to keep getting involved in the toxicity that is the heaven/hell politico-moral dichotomy.

what also upset me about the Domestic was the kiss. i loved it for what it was in isolation and it was a long time coming, and a huge movement in the dance they constantly have with each other, but it was in essence manipulative. i realise crowley was on his last emotional straw and yes, perhaps the love and devotion got too much for him to contain... but he literally just stood there and heard aziraphale tell him that he wanted crowley and he wanted them to be together. there were no qualms at all that aziraphale loves him as much as he loves aziraphale. so, what was the kiss meant to prove?

to my mind, it was manipulation; specific, a temptation. whilst very romantic and 'sweep him off his feet with the violins playing', it was also non-consensual and unwarranted on crowley's part - to the point of being derogatory and redundant (lets be clear: not a criticism on Neil for adding the kiss, im purely talking about crowley as a character and his Choices here). there was nothing to prove, nothing that that kiss could have possibly convinced aziraphale to do. so the only thing that leaves, imo, is that it was a temptation. crowley does not typically use temptation in this way, or at least that's the impression ive had throughout s1 and s2, so he chooses now is the time? to tempt aziraphale into staying with him? of course he does!

he's desperate, but also childish and immature and completely ignorant of what aziraphale is actually saying to him. aziraphale never denied him; aziraphale wanted him in this opportunity exactly by his side as he always has been. but that didn't fit with what crowley wanted, so he tried to make aziraphale bend to his will. aziraphale says the fatal words "i forgive you", but if he has (as i suspect he has) realised that crowley was trying to manipulate him... well, id probably say something as damning to crowley as 'i forgive you' too.

when aziraphale said 'nothing last forever', i realise crowley took that to mean him and the life that they built together, but it obviously wasn't that at all. aziraphale is saying that they have eternity ahead of them, that he wants to spend it with crowley, whatever has to end around them (ahem the world? apocalypse from s1, anyone?). aziraphale demonstrated consistently throughout s2 that he is trying to give crowley his own agency where heaven/hell are concerned (paraphrased but: "I want you to help me but if you don't want to, you are free to leave"). crowley however seemed that he was constantly one foot out the door in case things got Too Much (which, you know - valid) but aziraphale really did his best to make crowley not only not feel suffocated but also that crowley was wanted. and for anyone that is a tough balancing act.

the two of them have had 6000+ years of Not Really Communicating. this is the detritus that remains when they don't, and it was absolutely needed in this season. for them to break apart and break in and of themselves. s3 needs to be where they learn more about themselves than each other, and stop believing that the other is infallible, because such thinking - worship, blind faith - only ends badly.

[sweetfierceimagines]

Dragon & the Wolf, Aemond Targaryen x fem reader (Part 2) 

Part 1 HERE.

WARNINGS - MAJOR SPOILERS FROM HOUSE OF THE DRAGON.

(I was right sons would be sent to search for allies, too bad Aemond went to Baratheons instead of Starks... can't wait for season 2, season finale was amazing!!!)

Disclaimer : I am basing this fiction on HoTD but I don't intend on being 100% accurate with George R. R. Martin's universe. This is a fiction made for pleasure of reading and imagining scenarios, so please keep that in mind :)

PS: I really want to thank all of you for reacting to part 1, this story has been in my head since I first saw Aemond and LORD I'm so glad I can share it with you ! Please keep telling me what you think, positive and negative, and feel absolutely free to suggest ideas for the potential part 3, although I do chose independently wether I follow them or not. Enjoy !!

Synopsis : After arriving in Winterfell looking for allies, Aemond Targaryen finds himself in a position he doesn't know yet. Y/N, Cregan Stark's impetuous daughter, sparks a new light in him, although he can't quite put words on it. In the same time, war is almost upon Westeros and the Greens need the North to rally, just as much as the Blacks. How will Aemond combine this new curiosity with his duty ?

It had been two days since Aemond first arrived in the North, in search of allies in Cregan Stark's court. Stark family didn't seem completely against his brother's claim, but he could sense that they were reluctant to dismiss their first oath to Rhaenyra. Northmen, after all, were known for their loyalty and they held high values of wisdom and fraternity.

For now, Aemond was lucky enough to be the only one in this court, but Rhaenyra's envoys would soon arrive and he knew it. He had to be quick and completely utterly focused.

But how could he be ?

If he entered a hall with only northmen filling it, it would have been way easier. Instead, Y/N, Cregan's daughter, was at her father's side and was omnipresent in the castle. In two days, Aemond could see how respected she was and how she was handling both little matters and great deals. He didn't have much time to talk to her, even more since their last entrevue, during which he probably went a bit too far by literally asking not only for her opinion but for her allegiance. To him.

Since that day, Y/N had been busying herself as much as she could and rarely let Aemond make a step toward her.

But this day would be a bit different.

As Aemond entered the great hall, lords and ladies already around the table (Y/N too), he could feel tension rising.

(I'M TAKNG A CREATIVE FREEDOM HERE, IMAGINING THAT LUCERYS HAS BEEN KILLED BUT OBVIOUSLY HERE NOT BY AEMOND.)

He felt tense, and was fighting the urge to put his hand on his dagger, just in case. Nevertheless, he walked toward his preferred seat next to Cregan and glanced at Y/N. She had very tough, dark features today, and as she looked back at him, he could feel like she was not pleased with him at all.

-My Lords, my Ladies, thank you again for seating at this table. I would love to remain in Winterfell for weeks, but sadly, the matter we're discussing is more urgent by the second. We shall, if Lord Cregan agrees with me, conclude this before sundown.

Lord Cregan smirked, looking at Aemond like he was some kind of criminal. The young Targaryen was utterly lost, and couldn't quite understand why they seemed to accuse him of something.

-Prince Aemond. Started Lord Cregan, with a heavy voice. -You came in this hall talking about avoiding war and maintaining unity and prosperity in the Seven Kingdoms. You made.. serious accusations toward Princess Rhaenyra's sons and general attitude. Even when Prince Viserys only reassured of his support through his life. - Yes, my Lord, but as I told you.. - I'm not finished.

Everyone was holding their breath, and Aemond did feel.. intimidated.

-Yet, we hear today that young Prince Lucerys Velaryon, your cousin, has been killed in Storm's end, as he was sent only as an envoy by his Mother. - Killed ? - Yes, killed. Murdered. By your side of the family.

Aemond looked at Y/N again and suddenly her deadly look made sense.

-I can assure you, my Lord, I had no idea. This surely is an accident, a misunderstanding... - A misunderstanding ?! The boy didn't fall and break his neck, he was savagely MURDERED and the Greens did it, son ! This is no accident, this is a declaration of war, made by your people, by killing a boy who apparently had no intent to spark any fire at all!

Cregan's voice echoed in the hall and Y/N put her hand on her Father's arm, in an attempt to calm him down.

-We, North People, are loyal, proud and true to what we fight for. We don't kill Mother's children to access power or confirm it. We care for ours and welcome lost foreigners.

He rose, his hands still on the table, and looked at Aemond in an almost apologetic way.

-Prince Aemond. I expect we will receive Rhaenyra's envoy soon. You understand I must hear both sides. Things must be cleared. And as we bent knees to both parties, we consider them invalid. The North will chose regardless.

And he left the hall, dismissing the reunion. Y/N was soon to follow.

Aemond waited until everyone was out of the room to leave. He was upset. Very upset. Someone had taken his perfect plan and burned it to the grown. Killing this kid was a stupid move, although he would have loved to take his eye himself.

He left the castle, moving fast in direction of the woods.

-What do you think you're doing, exactly ?

Y/N's voice made him jump and he turned around to discover her, on her dark, very dark horse, and followed by.. a wolf ? He stared at the magnificent beast, who seemed peaceful yet terribly dangerous. After a few seconds of looking at it, he finally focused.

-My Lady Y/N.. On duty again, I suppose? -No. I wanted to clear my mind from all of these matters. I'm going into the forest. But it's always an occasion to patrol, of course. We never stop watching. - Wise words. I was myself going into the forest.

She shook her head and dismounted her horse, walking toward him. The wolf was following.

-No you're not. This is not any forest. There are animals in there you have no idea of. You're not suited. - I think I'll manage. He said, touching his sword. She laughed, sarcastically. - I'm not doubting you can fight, my Lord Aemond. I doubt you know how. She paused, her eyes looking very tough again. - And I don't intend letting Mother's children die.

Aemond could feel her bitterness and hated that she could lay such eyes on him. He was not a cold blooded murderer. He was keen of justice, he was true, strong, sincere and audacious. Right ?

-Well.. I guess you'll follow me, then ?

And he started walking in direction of the forest. She whispered a "damn this fool" but mounted her horse and followed, giving him her hand for him to mount behind her on the horse.

-We'll be safer.

He agreed and sat behind her, letting her move in the forest. She was right, the place had something different. An aura. It smelled chaos and yet everything was perfectly still. Like anything could happen any second. But not anything, actually. It felt like something unreal could happen. Like darkness itself could jump on him and devour his soul.

-Do you know what you're looking for in the forest, lord Aemond? -Actually yes. My dragon.

She paused and turned around.

-Your dragon ? Have you.. lost it ?

He chuckled and shook his head.

-Lost it, no. I arrived on horse, for Sir Criston is no dragon rider. But I can sense Vhagar is around. Dragons are very independent and yet, when they bond, they remain terribly loyal. I've been away for a couple of days, she's not used to it. I expect she's either coming or already there. - Ok.. I guess we'll spot it easily, then.

She sighed, a bit preoccupied, and looked at her wolf.

-Stay close, Shadow. You and I are flammable.

(Time ellipse)

It had been at least an hour since they got into the forest, remaining mostly silent. Suddenly, the mood shifted a bit : wood creaked and wind seemed to blow inward.. The horse stopped and started to get nervous, and Shadow growled. Aemond got down and moved deeper in the forest. This time, Y/N didn't follow.

Silence fell. Lasted. Y/N got back feet on the ground, ready to go get the Prince, when a huge roar echoes in the forest and instinctively, Y/N grabbed her sword, Shadow jumping in front of her. Second after second, a huge beast appeared, smashing trees around it, snow everywhere. Y/N had never seen a dragon before and she had to admit that although this beast was incredibly beautiful and mighty, she was utterly scared. On top of it, Aemond was seated, looking down at her.

-I told you she would be there ! He yelled.

Y/N didn't move, too stunned to react. She could only grab Shadow by the neck, preventing it from doing anything stupid.

-Come, my Lady ! She won't hurt you unless I tell her to. -I shall not, my Lord. Thank you very much but as Targaryens are closer to Gods, Starks are very much humans. And humans belong on the ground.

He laughed. it was the first time she heard him laugh, and suddenly he took off and the beast started to fly higher and higher. Y/N had tears in her eyes, a mix between pure amazement and a terrifying nervousness.

Y/N had been camping in a safe place of the woods, in a clearing with opened sky. Shadow was impossible to calm down, apparently he imagined he could fight a dragon.

Even though Y/N saw this dragon only once, she remained rather calm when the huge beast made land, not too far from them. Actually, the dragon was so close that she could feel its breath. Aemond got down and came by the fire. Shadow was growling and showing its teeth, sign that the wolf didn't appreciate dragons and dragon riders. Y/N and said with irony :

-He won't hurt you unless I tell him to.

He smiled a bit and sat in front of her, remaining silent for a few seconds before finally talking, in a very calm tone.

-Y/N. I know what it looked like. She raised an eyebrow. -I know you all think Lucerys' death was part of .. a general plan from us. It's not. She shook her head again. -My Lord, I've never been to Kings Landing and yet even I know how you and Velaryon children hated each other. And for Greens to secure power, you need not only to reduce Rhaenyra and Daemon to silence but also to wipe out their descent.

He sighed and got closer to her.

-I promise. We didn't mean that. Or at least I was not part of it. You want the truth? I dream since I'm a child to get Lucerys and make him take out his own eye out.

She raised her head to look at him, astonished by the cruelty of the confession.

-In payment.

She was holding her breath, both disgusted by this affirmation, and believing he was telling the truth and therefore, didn't intend a full kill.

-But murdering him was not part of my plan. And I know for sure that my Mother strongly desires mercy for Rhaenyra and her children. I promise.

She remained silent and put her hands on her face, thinking. After a while, she looked at him again, sad, this time.

-I believe you. But it matters not. We must wait for the Blacks to come and state their will. You had your time, they deserve theirs. My Father is a very proud man, Aemond. (she didn't notice she didn't name him Lord or Prince for once) He is true, he is good. He will wait and decide knowingly. There is nothing I can do..

She smiled softly.

-But we heard you. You were good, you know. As an envoy.

He smiled, sincerely, and nodded his head a bit.

-My Mother told me I was the one to do this. She was right. And I'm glad I've been sent here.

He put his hand on hers, making her shiver.

-I'm glad I met you.

It was over. Starks had received word that Rhaenyra's envoy, her son Jacaerys, would soon arrive on dragon back. Cregan had decided the recent death of Lucerys was reason enough for Aemond to leave. He was preparing his horse with Sir Criston, Vhagar had been leaving already.

The court was gathered in the courtyard, respectful enough to bid them farewell correctly. Y/N was feeling odd, like she was losing something. When Aemond got on his horse, her heart tightened. She cleared her throat and took the gift intended to Aegon the Second from Maester's hands to quickly get to Aemond. Cregan looked, not too sure of what was happening.

-My Lord Aemond.. it's a gift. For your Brother the King. It's tradition when a coronation happens. Although you know a gift will also be given to Rhaenyra.

He took it and smiled at her.

-Thank you, my Lady. I hope I will see you again. Soon. Very soon.

She nodded and took a few steps back. When they departed, Aemond turned around and smiled again.

Two weeks. Two weeks since both Aemond and Jacaerys left the castle. Cregan Stark's mind was made. His Lords and Ladies agreed with him. It was done. The North would rally Rhaenyra's side.

Y/N's heart had not stop hurting. She felt upset, preoccupied, and hated that she couldn't find peace. Deep inside, she knew her Father's decision was the right one. She knew King Viserys only meant for Rhaenyra to be his successor. She knew Aegon was a farce, a puppet in Hightower's hands. But this meant she was to never see this Targaryen side of the family again. Or at least not in a pleasant way.

Sun just appeared in the morning sky and she was already heading out of the castle.

-My Lady ! My Lady Y/N !

She turned around to see the Maester running toward her.

-My Lady, a message from King's Landing. It's urgent, you must take it to your Father.

She nodded and rushed inside the castle, straight into her Father's apartments. She gave him the message and after reading it, Cregan looked solemnly at his daughter.

-Well.. I think it's time for you to see a bit more of our world.

She took the message, and as she was reading it, her inner smile grew.

"Lords and Ladies of the Seven Kingdoms. You are asked to send envoys to Kings Landing. They will act as representatives of your Houses, and receive full protection from the War and its consequences, regardless of the side you've chosen. Such representatives will be diplomats and will be able to directly address to King Aegon the Second and his court. This is an attempt, as war is upon us, to keep a negotiating canal opened. We thank you."

The message was signed by Otto Hightower's hand. Y/N looked back at her Father.

-Me ? -Yes, you. She smiled, honored that her Father granted her with such honor. -But you must promise me something, child. If it ever gets too risky, leave at once. She nodded. -And don't marry that boy too soon.

END OF PART 2.

Tag list (comment to be added) : @xcharlottemikaelsonx @lawlerek @whitejuliana1204 @devy1233 @alice1290

[olderthannetfic]

Growing up in a socially progressive environment: How has this affected your feelings about success? Were you taught that forming a nuclear family played a role in that measurement? Or were you taught to value yourself strictly in terms of stuff like grades and academic achievements? Or maybe that whole talk was geared towards personal happiness, in whatever form it took for you?

Also, at school: did you have to do stuff like the pledge of allegiance? Was Columbus Day and history class transparent or did your teachers omit the fucked up parts?

--

The closest my mother ever came to advice about a nuclear family was: "Find a boyfriend after college. Roommates are awful."

(Though from what she said, this belief stemmed from being the one clueless white girl in an apartment with three black girls becoming politically conscious in 1970s Chicago. I'm pretty sure Mom was the annoying roommate in that scenario, so...)

She really didn't discuss success. I never asked, but I assume that this was a conscious choice the same as she never once mentioned my looks either positively or negatively. (I asked her about the latter, and she said it's something she'd decided on before having me.)

I've spent the last couple of years carting hundreds of pounds of books out of the house. Among them was a massive collection of child development books from the 70s through 90s. A lot of them were on topics like raising intellectuals rather than just kids who get good grades or fostering a sense of self worth and emotional self sufficiency.

My mom was an educator, and she disliked a lot of the status-obsessed ways people deform their children's senses of self. Grades = worth is not a message she'd ever have espoused, though she did send me to hard schools and expect me to do my work. She could be a school snob as much as anyone, but she didn't explicitly talk about success in those terms. I think a big part of it is that all of her friends from when she was young were intellectuals who wanted to be professors, found there were no jobs, and ended up as carpenters or in the Peace Corps or all kinds of other random things. My mother herself started a PhD in... epidemiology...? (Something sciencey anyway.) She bombed out when her much older sister died unexpectedly and ran off to Kathmandu to hang out with an old high school friend who was studying Tibetan Buddhist religious logic.

She was certainly concerned with me finding meaningful work and being self sufficient, but she just didn't talk in terms of "success".

And more than that, worth as a human is inherent. It has nothing to do with success. If you want to raise a strong person, you give a kid unconditional love, clear boundaries, and a sense of stability. You teach them that all humans are valid and worthwhile just because. They don't have to do anything to gain that. It just is.

Perhaps that's not how you meant "success", but I've seen far too many otherwise intelligent parents mutilate their children's ability to learn by treating education and knowledge as the source of value in the world and not as something pleasurable in their own right.

Perhaps happiness = success is closest to what my mother would have espoused, but really, being a valid human being is a separate axis from being happy or successful or any other particular measure of a life well lived.

--

None of my schools would have been caught dead making us say the pledge of allegiance. They were all hippie private schools. We did shit like learn to sing This Land is Your Land.

We spent a lot of time on Indigenous history—though still in a "That was long ago" kind of way that made me assume everyone was dead and gone. Genocide was mentioned often. Columbus was mentioned rarely, and not in positive terms.

I still wouldn't say it was particularly well-rounded history. I'd rather have learned more about the Mexican-American war and less about the utterly irrelevant snoozeville that is the American Revolutionary War. Frankly, as a Californian, I would reduce the Revolutionary war to "It happened" and our equally boring Civil War to the politically important parts that it was indeed fought over slavery as Southerners themselves said at the time, that all that noble lost cause shit is just a retcon by white supremacists, and anybody who repeats it in the modern day can fuck themselves.

We did have pretty good stuff on Harriet Tubman in second grade and lots on Japanese internment later. Some of the schools I went to were better than others, usually because they were less beholden to stuffing our heads with irrelevant garbage that's on major history tests. I could have done with slightly fewer traumatizing documentaries on the Holocaust though.

--

As for my personal feelings about success, towards the end of my 30s, I was looking around for what should come next. I decided to finally write a novel, and I feel a lot better about my 40s having done so. I wasn't desperate or self hating like a lot of people I see around me fearing aging, but I did feel a lack of accomplishment in a sense.

My next goal... well, my immediate next goal is to finish book 2 of my series, but in the longer term, my goal is to not just finish writing things but to become financially successful as a writer.

[tickly-tufts]

Unconventional

ler!distortion means a chance for trippy tickles and who am i to say no to that?

takes place in an alternate S2 where michael hangs around as a weird monster friend

---

The Distortion’s presence in the Archives was… confusing. Jon still didn’t know what to make of it. In theory, he was just as monstrous as Jane Prentiss, though he could certainly hide it well. At times, he’d creep out from behind his door, every part of him stretched to disturbing proportions. Other moments, he’d simply appear around the corner, looking perfectly normal (unless you stared too long).

He claimed to be a friend. Jon had his doubts, though the sentiment seemed to hold true enough with Sasha. After all, his interference was the only reason Sasha was still with them… alive and intact. She’d been so close to that horrid table. So close to being replaced like Graham Folger. If Michael hadn’t appeared in that moment, what would have walked out of Artefact Storage?

With all that in mind, Jon remained cautious as the Distortion entered his office through a door that didn’t exist. It was peculiar for Michael to be seeking him out. Honestly, it felt like Michael preferred to avoid him.

“Uh… hello, Michael. Did you need something? Sasha’s out investigating, if you were looking for her.” Jon doubted the Distortion wasn’t already aware, but why else would he be there?

“I’m not here for Sasha,” Michael laughed, the noise reverberating against the walls. “Or perhaps I am, in a manner of speaking. She wants us to be on better terms.”

“Better terms?” Jon repeated, puzzled. He’d thought they were on fairly decent terms already. Considering one of them was a paranormal entity, achieving guarded acceptance had been rather extraordinary.

Then again, he supposed he hadn’t bonded much with Michael in comparison to the others. Aside from the odd allegiance to Sasha, he’d clearly grown friendlier with Tim and Martin as well. Despite Tim’s suspicions and Martin’s worries, Michael had proven himself more ally than enemy. It was no longer strange for Tim to joke at him, nor for Martin to offer him a cup of tea.

“You have your reservations about me, and I have several about you in turn.” The Distortion was smiling broadly, yet somehow it felt like a frown. “Your assistants seem quite fond of you, but how do you view them, Archivist?” There was something about his tone that made Jon feel like he was being judged.

“They’re- They’re my assistants. Obviously I... value them.” Jon immediately cringed at his own word choice. While that may have passed as a professional answer, it felt far too reductive after all they’d been through.

“Just your assistants? Nothing more?” Michael moved closer, his form appearing to shift. “How very typical of an Archivist... and yet, that doesn’t feel very much like the truth.” 

Jon didn’t know what answer Michael was hoping for, but he instinctively started to scoot back in his chair. His eyes widened when Michael continued to approach, phasing right through his desk to seize said chair by the armrests.

“Now, now, where do you think you’re going?” Michael grinned gleefully. “There’s no need to look so frightened. You know this isn’t how I feed.” Even so, their new position lent itself perfectly to other intentions. “Actually, I just remembered another reason I had to see you.”

“And w-what would that b-be?” Jon stammered out, doing his level best to sink into his seat. While some part of him knew he wasn’t in real danger, it was hard not to cower with the Distortion so close. He opened his mouth to ask another question, hopefully without the tremor in his voice, only to release a startled yelp when something fluttered against his back.

Was there... something behind him? No, he’d completely leaned into his backrest. Had something ended up between him and the chair? God, he hoped it wasn’t a spider. However, when he tried to adjust himself, he instantly realized he just... couldn’t. It was like he’d been stuck to his seat.

“Something wrong?” Michael tilted his head.

“W-What are you playing at?!” Jon demanded. Even for the Distortion, this was baffling. He jumped as much as he could when the fluttering returned, traveling along the length of his spine.

“Does it hurt?”

“Nnn!” It didn’t, but Jon was hardly going to tell Michael that it tickled. At least, that’s what he’d been thinking, until Michael finally chose to explain himself.

“I’ve seen several of your interactions with the others, including the less conventional ones... I must say, even years in the Archives could never have prepared me for a ticklish Archivist.”

Jon jolted when the fluttering made way for swirling, spreading across his entire back. At that point, there was no hiding it, and he promptly burst into a fit of giggles.

“Ah, there it is,” Michael cooed. “How adorable.”

“Whahaha-! W-Why ahahare yohohou d-dohohoing thihihis?!”

“Am I not allowed a bit of fun? The other assistants all had their turns.” 

Michael watched smugly as Jon squirmed in place, even more amused than he’d expected to be. Variety was important, though, and there were other areas to be examined. Jon panted when the swirling stopped, giving him a brief reprieve. He recognized it was over when his arms began to lift, moved by blurring shapes with the potential to be hands.

Two hands… no, four… no… how many hands? Jon couldn’t keep track of what was or wasn’t there. He only knew that something was holding his arms, while several other somethings explored his upperbody. They weren’t touching as much as they were grazing, but it was enough to send tingles rippling through him. His sides and stomach, his hips and hollows... layers of clothing did nothing to protect them. 

The strangest part was that it didn’t feel like unrestrained tickling against bare skin either. It was light yet overwhelming, somehow gentle yet relentless, radiating right to the core of his being.

“Oh, you really are quite ticklish,” Michael commented over Jon’s laughter-tinged wailing. “Though I suppose you’ve never been tickled like this,” he acknowledged with a ringing chuckle. Being an avatar of the Spiral certainly had its perks, especially when it came to manipulating the senses. It took barely any effort at all to light up Jon’s nerves and launch him into mirthful madness.

When the next break came, Jon couldn’t calm down, his mind still reeling from the rush of sensations.

“Why are you laughing? I’m not even touching you.”

“Y-Yohohou-“ Jon hiccuped. “Lihihiahahar!”

“Hahaha... Well, you’re not entirely wrong. Perhaps it’s time for something less metaphysical.” Once Jon appeared more flustered than frazzled, Michael raised one of his visible hands.

The Distortion’s fingers settled on half of Jon’s ribs, reaching even the back with their unnatural length. Jon squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation, already feeling a faint prickling where they touched him. He peeked an eye open when Michael snickered, the sound echoing from all directions.

“Your reactions are a mass of contradictions. It’s delightful,” Michael crooned.

Before Jon could reply with anything more than a blush, those abnormally long fingers began to squeeze. They’d slid into the gaps between his ribs, pinching playfully at the surrounding skin. Although this kind of tickling was more familiar, the precision was still unlike anything human. The screech that escaped from Jon in that instant might’ve reached the upper floor had the Distortion not muffled it.

“Not the kind of screaming I’m used to, but just as entertaining,” Michael mused. He let his fingers curl around Jon even further, stretching across his back to reach his ribs on the other side. It was bizarre being cradled in the Distortion’s grip. Jon wasn’t even sure how much of Michael was real. Which parts of him were physical? Which were illusion? Did that distinction even matter for a creature like him?

He didn’t have long to speculate before vibrations shot through his entire ribcage. The fit of shrieking and cackling that followed bordered on pure hysteria. If Michael hadn’t been the Distortion, Jon surely would’ve kicked him countless times by then. However, given what Michael was and wasn’t, Jon may as well have been thrashing at empty air.

“I CAHAHAN’T- PLEHEHEAHAHAHA! T-TOO MUHAHAHAHAH!” Jon gasped when all motion around him ceased. Once he’d caught his breath enough to think, he tentatively peered up at Michael.

“Hmm... yes, I suppose that was too much,” Michael remarked thoughtfully. “With how sensitive you already are, there’s really no need for such escalation.” He stared at Jon for a long moment, then withdrew himself completely. It was nearly enough to give Jon whiplash, and he was left blinking dazedly at Michael’s semi-human form.

“Uh...” Jon had no idea how to respond, still stunned at how quickly Michael had pulled back. It was shockingly reassuring to discover that, yes, Michael did actually care about his comfort level. 

“What? Are you not satisfied?” Michael smirked down at him. “Should I go again without holding back?”

“N-No! No! Not-” Jon froze. Had he really been about to say ‘not right now’ to the Distortion?

In a monumental act of mercy, Michael didn’t call him on it. He merely continued to stand there, beaming, as Jon curled up and rubbed at his torso.

“You’re certainly nothing like your predecessor…” Michael admitted softly a minute later.

“Wait, y-you knew Gertrude?” Jon couldn’t help but ask, only to flinch when the atmosphere warped.

“That... is a tale for another time.” Michael resisted the urge to seethe. Gertrude was dead and Jon was different. He’d save his ire for Jonah Magnus.

But until then... he turned towards the door.

“You three can come in now, if you’d like.”

As soon as Michael’s words sunk in, Jon pressed his burning face to the nearest stack of statements.