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hongherbac · 2 months ago

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[Hatori Centric] He Didn't Press the Button - Chapter 3

Read it on AO3

Fandom: モブサイコ100 | Mob Psycho 100 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Chapters: 3/4 Words: 5,034

Non-Romantic Relationships: Hatori Nozomu & Joseph, Suzuki Touichirou, Shimazaki Ryou

CW: curses, a lot of smoking

Summary: Former "Claw" executives solved the problem in their own way.

Chapter 3

　　The situation continued to deteriorate. Shimazaki had completely disappeared.

　　Hatori had been calling him over and over again for days, but the answer was always an empty, void silence. It seemed that Shimazaki had left his cell phone somewhere and never bothered with it again. Hatori checked the sales records of all the communication companies, guessing that the blind man might have lost his cell phone by accident, and also searched the city's surveillance cameras for its whereabouts. But there was nothing. Any sign of Shimazaki had simply disappeared from the world.

　　They sent a guy to check the cell phone's location, and found a clean bright apartment. The furniture was simple, with traces of everyday life everywhere. The bed was casually made, and clothes hung on a partially open balcony, which was the right size for Shimazaki. There was a decent stereo in the living room. Numerous music records filled up the adjacent bookshelf.

　　The whole apartment gave the impression that the resident had known he would be leaving for a while, but still planned to come back.

　　Once again, Hatori was called into Joseph's office alone. It took almost every effort to convince him that he had no connection to Shimazaki. In the end, he paced back and forth in agitation, his fingers digging into his tousled brown hair, his face flushed red with anger, and his volume getting more and more out of control as he shouted at Joseph.

　　"I fucking swear - "

　　"All right, all right. Don't get so worked up. It's just routine, you know."

　　Joseph's eyes squinted into narrow slits as he held a cigarette between his fingers. The office was even smokier than usual, with the ashtray overflowing with cigarette butts. His expression was cold and blank.

　　"If you run into him, let him know he has 24 hours to report, or the government will issue a nationwide warrant. At that point, he won't be able to back out."

　　"What? An arrest warrant!?"

　　"Shimazaki has a criminal record and holds too many secrets. It's very likely that he's on the run."

　　"You're kidding me! We don't know anything yet! Maybe he was hurt and can't move on his own? Or he could be sick, or... dead."

　　"Then we'll give him a posthumous medal."

　　Hatori glared at Joseph fiercely, feeling that he'd never wanted to smash that face so badly. Right now, he wished he could fight like Shimazaki, Minegishi, Serizawa, or even Shibata, where he could personally tear that arrogant attitude apart. But, no, Hatori had only one other way to fight.

　　"... I need to use the 805 surveillance room."

　　"Suit yourself."

　　He stormed out in anger.

　　Just as the door was about to close, a ring tone suddenly sounded from inside - default music. It was Joseph's official phone. Out of some... intuition, vigilance, curiosity, or perhaps pure revenge, Hatori paused. Through the crack in the door, he heard Joseph pick up the phone, his voice suppressed and bitter; at the same time, he slid the headset to his head, and immediately caught the faint signal drifting in the air.

　　Hatori walked slowly down the corridor, listening to the conversation between the two officers through his headset. The more he listened, the heavier his heart became.

　　So, apparently, Suzuki Shou was missing as well.

　　Over the past few months, the boy had never missed a visit with his father, rain or shine. Even on the day that Kageyama Shigeo lost control and plunged the city into chaos and destruction, he still showed up at the facility as scheduled. When he learned that his father had been sent on the special mission, he immediately went after him.

　　But he did not show up today.

　　Of course, Suzuki Shou had a volatile temper, and he was approaching puberty, so he might have just lost track of time, or he might have just gotten tired of his criminal father and decided to live his own life. But when the staff tried to contact him, neither his cell phone nor his home phone worked. To make matters worse, his bike was found near the facility. It had been blown over and was lying flat on the ground, covered in a thin layer of dust, with summer weeds growing through the frame.

　　Hatori entered the elevator and tapped on the panel, ordering it to go straight up, ignoring the poor colleagues waiting on other floors. He looked in the mirror and realized he was pulling his hair again, so he forced himself to put his hand back down.

　　After his colleagues were mind-controlled, Shimazaki's whereabouts became a mystery... And now, Suzuki Shou had disappeared. All of this couldn't be pure coincidence.

　　" - worry about Suzuki's reaction. They want you to do the talking."

　　The caller breathed heavily.

　　"We have to calm him down or he could do great damage. You went undercover for him, handled his interrogations, and even went on a few missions with him, so you should have some rapport, right?"

　　"Rapport?" Joseph scoffed, "Do you want a negotiator or a punching bag?"

　　"Well, umm..."

　　"Fine. Okay, I'll go talk to Suzuki. I have some questions for him anyway."

　　The caller was relieved and thanked Joseph again and again with earnestness.

　　There was a click on the phone, followed by a hollow, monotonous beeping. But Joseph didn't hang up. He was silent for a moment, then spoke:

　　"Hey, Hatori. Are you listening?"

　　"... Hmm."

　　"Then you know the situation. The target has changed. Prioritize the search for Suzuki Shou."

　　"Got it."

　　"Maybe you'll find someone else on the way."

　　Hatori cut off the communication.

　　Rubbing his brow, Joseph reached into the drawer and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.

　　The facility was two buildings away, connected by interior corridors. He handed over his ID at the reception desk. The staff behind the bulletproof glass scrutinized it, comparing information over and over before finally nodding and letting him through. An armed guard motioned for Joseph to follow and solemnly led the way. The man wore a rifle and a large keychain on his belt that jingled with each step. At each checkpoint, the guard removed the keys to unlock the heavy iron doors, then replaced them on the belt.

　　Joseph watched these draconian security measures with growing impatience. He could unlock all the doors in seconds with hardened smoke. Firearms were useless. If any of the prisoners posed a threat, the guard would only be a hindrance, forcing Joseph to divide his attention to protect him.

　　Damn bureaucracy.

　　He insisted that the guards wait in the hallway while he went in alone to face the world's most ferocious esper.

　　The room was sparse. Suzuki Touichirou sat on the edge of the bed, his hands resting on his knees, his eyes cold and piercing, radiating a strong sense of oppression. It was as if he was not a criminal in an orange prison jumpsuit, but a powerful dominant figure, an interrogator, silently waiting for an answer. Joseph leaned against the wall and slowly took out his lighter to light his cigarette, letting the steel door close behind him and automatically relock itself, leaving him alone with the beast.

　　"Suzuki Shou... Your son. He's currently missing," he said blandly, "There's no conclusive evidence yet, but it's probably a kidnapping."

　　Suzuki stared sharply, forcing Joseph to continue.

　　He summarized the situation.

　　"Think about it, even though you are now voluntarily in custody, there are still many fools out there who want to get their hands on your powers. They'll stop at nothing if they can."

　　"You think someone wants to use Shou to control me." Suzuki said.

　　"Let's just assume that's the case." Joseph looked up at the swirling white smoke and tapped off the ash, "This guy must know about your relationship with Suzuki Shou. So he's either a government mole, or an acquaintance of yours, or... both. And then he would have to be strong enough to deal with Suzuki Shou; you don't know how much trouble your son can get into."

　　"I know, he always does." Suzuki pondered for a moment, "If someone wants to threaten me with my family, they should have chosen an easier target. Have you investigated my wife?"

　　"We can't."

　　Suzuki raised an eyebrow.

　　"Well, it's quite interesting," Joseph said coldly, "I'm pretty sure the government did a thorough investigation back then, but then we realized that the name on all the documents was changed to 'Aragaki Yui', and the address to 'Flying Spaghetti Shrine'. In other words, we lost all the relevant information. I wonder who was behind this."

　　Suzuki's lips curled up slightly.

　　"Anyway, I will be frank with you about the investigation. In return, I hope you will cooperate with the government and provide some information. We have the manpower and resources, and when we catch this guy - " Joseph pointed his cigarette at Suzuki with a smirk, "That's when you'll make your appearance. And I won't ask anything if any 'accidents' happen during the arrest. How about that?"

　　"Agreed. But you have to agree to one more condition."

　　"Say it."

　　"I demand that Hatori be put in charge of the search operation. And that he be relieved of his other duties and responsibilities until it is over."

　　"That's it? It's easy. He just started the investigation 30 minutes ago, and the preliminary report should be done soon. I can send you a copy."

　　"No. Thirty minutes is more than enough for him."

　　"Hmph, you trust him a lot."

　　Suzuki nodded, "I know his capabilities. Let me talk to Hatori myself."

　　"Unfortunately, I'm afraid you can't - "

　　Bzzz. Bzzz. The wall-mounted broadcasting system suddenly crackled with noise. They all turned to the speakers at the same time and immediately realized what was happening. The static lasted less than a second before it became clear, as if wired in, and the steady voice of Hatori rang out:

　　"Hi, boss. I'm listening. Go ahead."

　　Joseph's face sank. Suzuki, on the other hand, remained impassive, showing no emotion.

　　"Hatori, report the situation."

　　"Uh, okay. Let's see... Shou was last recorded seven days ago, at 11:27 a.m. on March 23rd. After the visit, he went down the west hallway on the second floor, and entered the blind spot of camera A8316, where he has not been seen since. Since Shou can be invisible, this opens up a lot of possibilities... so I've expanded my search to a one-kilometer radius, including the streets and the interior of nearby buildings.

　　"In addition to the missing location, I have checked his home, school, train station, and several supermarkets and restaurants he frequents, as well as the routes between these locations. I have also tracked down his close friends, including Kageyama, Fukuda, Higashio, and Ootsuki. None of them have been in contact with Shou in the past week.

　　"The bugging system has been set up, and the search area can be expanded to cover the entire Seasoning City by tomorrow. After that... Maybe I should start analyzing large scale audio material."

　　"Good. The work of the government hasn't rusted on you." Suzuki said, "Tell me your thoughts on the current situation."

　　"......"

　　The speaker fell into silence.

　　Joseph signed, dropping his hand with the cigarette, "I'll answer that. Considering the current situation - "

　　"I think it was Shimazaki who took Shou away." Hatori said abruptly. The broadcast system amplified the sound of his tense breathing, as if his thoughts were struggling at the edge of his lips, hesitating to be spoken, "Only he could evade my tracking to this extent. To memorize all monitor locations, to perfectly avoid every camera and recording device, and to deliberately abandon any electronic devices that could be used to locate him. It would have to be Shimazaki."

　　"Where is he?"

　　"Last seen in the office seven days ago, and has been out of contact ever since. That matches the timeline with Shou."

　　"I see. Shimazaki is well aware of your abilities, so he will be particularly cautious with these measures." Suzuki's voice remained steady, "In that case, it will be necessary to use a method you have never tried before."

　　"......?"

　　"Hatori, you can sense electronic devices. What is the range?"

　　"Well, I rarely try that... It gives me a headache in the city. It also depends on the strength of the signal. For a car or something like that, I should be able to go about two or three kilometers."

　　"What about a watch battery?"

　　"A watch battery! Just that little bit?" Hatori pondered carefully, "Two hundred meters... I guess."

　　"That's enough. Shou always wears a watch. Shimazaki wouldn't think of dealing with it. I can tell you the make and model number." Suzuki said, "You can transmit power via radio waves. Do a carpet search with cell phones all over the city, compare the pictures, delete the innocent ones, and you'll be able to find Shou."

　　Hatori thought for a moment, tapping his fingers on the desktop.

　　"It'll work. But it's going to take a couple of days, and there's no guarantee they won't move around in the meantime."

　　"I don't intend to wait that long."

　　Suzuki lifted his gaze to the room monitor, as if he was looking through the screen, straight into Hatori's eyes.

　　"I will transfer my energy to you."

　　Hatori gasped. He breathed heavily, like a little boy receiving an unexpectedly incredible Christmas present, so overwhelmed with excitement that he could barely speak, "I-I uh… Are you serious? I can actually receive the boss's energy? REALLY?"

　　"When did I ever joke?"

　　Suzuki said in a calm voice, but there was a flicker of playful amusement in his light blue eyes.

　　It was gone in a flash. He slowly stood up, reaching for the psychic restraint on his left wrist. It looked like a regular black bracelet, with curses densely engraved on the inside. A red aura erupted from Suzuki's fingertips. In an instant, the restraining bracelet shattered with a thud, billowing thick smoke and falling to the ground in a twisted heap.

　　With his back against the wall, Joseph rasped, "Wait a minute. Are you just going to walk out of here?"

　　"I’m doing this to find my son. It goes with the government benefits."

　　"If you don't get permission, what you're about to do is called escaping." Joseph narrowed his eyes as he brought the cigarette to his mouth, his body tensing, "We have some procedures to follow first."

　　"Do it later."

　　Suzuki walked to the door. The electronic lock buzzed slightly, automatically disarming the alarm. The red aura flashed again and drilled into the hole of the mechanical lock, turning it slightly. He pushed open the metal door as easily as if he had just stepped out of his own house.

　　The corridor outside was cold and pale. The simple, bare passageway was empty, unnaturally quiet. The corridor stretched for several dozen meters before branching off. Not far ahead was another junction. It was a complex network of passages connected by several classified government facilities, and, of course, there were no signs.

　　"I'm at... Uh, never mind. Follow the light."

　　With that, a fluorescent light in the distance suddenly began to flicker, blinking in a regular pattern. Suzuki stepped towards it. He walked out of the room, then stopped and turned to Joseph:

　　"You might want to keep an eye on me. This is a special mission after all."

　　Joseph signed.

　　They followed the direction Hatori had indicated. Each time they approached a light, the next one began to flicker. They encountered several locked metal gates along the way, but easily broke through with their usual methods. They left the facility without incident.

　　Joseph knew the way after that, but Hatori chose a different route. They went around the back of the office, through two buildings, and then down the fire escape back to the elevator shaft. The elevator was open in front of them and automatically closed as they entered, going straight up to the 8th floor. They didn't encounter anyone along the way.

　　The light indication finally stopped at the door, a wooden sign on it read "Surveillance Room 805".

　　Suzuki opened the door. Inside, the room was occupied by countless electronic equipment, with three entire walls lined with monitors, each switching between images like the frantic compound eyes of insects, flashing at such a rapid pace that no human could keep up with them. The remaining wall was lined with professional instruments, each with jacks, levers, buttons, and knobs of unknown function. Black wires crawled across the room like sticky spider webs.

　　In the center of the room were several long tables and chairs, clearly meant for a full team of operators. But for the moment, Hatori was the only one sitting alone, his glasses reflecting the flickering light. Hearing the door open, he turned to the entrance.

　　Suzuki was standing there. He looked at him, and he looked at him. The images on the screens distorted for a second.

　　"Hatori."

　　"Hey, boss."

　　They spoke as if they had met just yesterday.

　　Suzuki entered and glanced at the flickering images on the walls. Hatori waved his hand, and all the screens went off in response, returning the room to silence and darkness. Only the machinery operated, emitting a warm, hypnotic hum. Joseph took a seat in silence, crossing his legs as he watched the two former criminals. He regretted bringing only a pack of cigarettes.

　　"Ready?" Suzuki said.

　　"Anytime." Hatori smiled, took off his glasses.

　　He suddenly stopped, holding his glasses in both hands, his head bowed, looking somewhat disoriented. Without the lenses, his pupils seemed to be a bit difficult to focus. He said in a low voice, "Boss, when you find Shimazaki......"

　　"I know, don't worry."

　　Hatori put his glasses on the table and turned to Suzuki, signaling with silence that it's time to begin.

　　Suzuki raised his hand, and the red aura began to flow, swirling around the two of them. Hatori couldn't help but hold his breath as he felt an extremely powerful energy - hot, brutal, almost burning - sweeping over him, as if he was being swallowed by a storm into its wild center. He appeared utterly trivial to this overwhelming force, like an ant trying to push an elephant.

　　With little resistance, he let the scorching energy flow into his body. And it felt...

　　Oh, god. So painful, and yet so beautiful. It was as if Hatori was breathing fresh air for the first time in his life. His whole body swelled with an endless flow of energy, from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers, like a flood of water roaring through, relentlessly filling up all the space. He felt like he could do anything at this moment, with the entire world’s airwaves under his control. But at the same time, he was also burning, like a flame consuming his body from within, the heat melting his flesh.

　　Hatori tried his best to bear it. It was a torture of ecstasy. He would have stayed longer if he could, but he realized that if this terrifying power wasn’t released soon, his head might explode.

　　"By the way." Suzuki said to Joseph, "Apologize in advance for your losses."

　　Hatori struck both palms together. His body erupted with a strong, blinding red-yellow aura, with arcs of electricity sizzling through the air. All the screens flickered on, distorting in chaotic swirls of color. Instruments shook, indicator lights flashed crazily, and fans spun like they were about to take off. The fluorescent lights grew more and more intense, like a bomb approaching its critical point, until they finally exploded with a bang. Muffled cries of alarm and cracking sounds came from the distance.

　　"Can you keep going?" Suzuki said.

　　No. Impossible. Joseph thought to himself, unable to admit that he was stunned by the sight. You're going to kill him.

　　Hatori wasn't looking anywhere in particular, but his expression was intensely focused, as if his consciousness was far beyond the room, beyond and the recent time and space, immersed in a world where only he could see. He nodded imperceptibly.

　　"Very good."

　　The power further intensified like a roaring wave. The aura radiated sharply, as dazzling and blinding as the blade of a sword.

　　The room was filled with crackling static electricity. The machines were completely overloaded, spewing gray smoke, and the wires were so heated that they began to melt. Hatori gritted his teeth, his body tense, his eyes glittering with pain and joy, as if he were drowning in his own aura. Joseph unconsciously gripped the chair so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

　　The whole process lasted only a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity.

　　Finally, Hatori slowly raised his hand, and pointed to the row of monitors on the wall. A map popped up on the screen, showing the geographic street layout of the entire Seasoning City. In the lower right corner of the map, a bright red dot flashed.

　　His body collapsed.

　　The red aura caught Hatori before he fell to the ground. Suzuki used his psychic powers to pull several tables together, gently placing Hatori's unconscious body on top of them. Then he rolled up the sleeves of his orange prison jumpsuit and started to step outside.

　　"Where are you going?" Joseph said.

　　"Go get my son."

******

　　There was a lounge on each floor of the government building. A few desks, chairs, bookshelves, and a water cooler were all that was needed. The room was quite simple and clean. At the moment, the floor was still littered with fragments of light bulbs that had been hastily swept aside. The room had no electric lighting, so the blinds were rarely open, letting in the soft, lazy afternoon light of spring from outside. Sparrows chirped and pigeons paced on the air conditioner, making soft cooing noises.

　　Next to the window, a long couch sat against the wall. Hatori lay quietly on it, looking tiny and fragile, his chest rising and falling steadily with each breath. Someone had covered him with a white jacket.

　　The door creaked open. A slim, white figure stepped inside. The man wore a black shirt and tight pants, with an electronic lighter hanging from a brown cord around his neck. He took out a cigarette and flicked open the lighter with his thumb, only to find the inside was burned to a black scorch. He tsked, found a wheel lighter in his back pocket instead, and put the cigarette in his mouth to light it.

　　He exhaled a dense cloud of thick white smoke. The smoke gathered into filaments, and wrapped itself around the door handle, hardening and solidifying, sealing the room tightly. The man leaned over and looked at the couch, where Hatori appeared to be sleeping, completely defenseless. He extended his hand, and -

　　"I didn’t expect you to fall so easily."

　　The man quickly withdrew his arm, noticing that Hatori's eyes were slightly open, looking at him groggily; he was Joseph, but not quite. At least part of his head wasn't.

　　"You're awake."

　　"My body hurts like hell." Hatori smiled weakly, "Boss's power is really something, isn't it? Now I can't move at all. Help me up."

　　Joseph braced the sides of his body and helped Hatori sit up on the couch, his back resting on several soft pillows. That alone made the exhausted esper catch his breath. Hatori blinked, looking a little confused. Joseph found the carefully kept glasses on a nearby table. After putting them back on, Hatori seemed a bit more complete.

　　"... Honestly, you're not far behind."

　　"Wow, are you complimenting me? This mind control is really getting serious." Hatori giggled. Joseph glared at him in displeasure. "Don't be mad. Can I have a cigarette?"

　　Joseph took a cigarette out of the pack and handed it over, then lit it for him.

　　"I didn't know you smoked."

　　"Not usually. But since I've worked so hard today, I think I deserve a reward."

　　Hatori gripped the cigarette gently, his fingers trembling slightly with exhaustion. Joseph retrieved his white jacket, pulled up a chair, and sat down next to the couch. He was surprised to see Hatori taking deep drags on his cigarette like an experienced smoker. Hatori's eyes were misty, and his disguise, worn down by smoking and fatigue, was slowly fading away.

　　"I smoked for a while in high school." Hatori said. "I thought it would help me break into the circle. Then I realized that as long as I followed their orders, ran errands, copied homework, took the blame, and tampered with game data for them, they would be nice to me. So I decided to stop wasting my money."

　　"......"

　　"Once they threw my school bag into a ditch just for fun, so I deleted all their game accounts. I was beaten so badly that I couldn't get out of bed for several days."

　　Joseph watched his cigarette, a fine white mist slowly drifting from its tip.

　　"When I was in high school, I got into a fight with my buddy, and I accidentally trapped him in the toilet with smoke. Turns out the plumbing had a little... indigestion from my smoke."

　　"... Oh. No way."

　　"It took the local fire department 4 hours to cut through the smoke. By the time they found him, the sewage was up to his calves and the toilet kept spewing every few minutes - like a fucking geyser. It was quite a sight."

　　They burst out laughing. Hatori laughed so hard that tears welled up in his eyes, and he almost lost his grip on his cigarette and burned the couch. When he finally managed to hold it steady, he took a drag, but couldn't stop laughing. He ended up coughing violently as the smoke irritated his throat. The pain from the vibrations forced him to stop and catch his breath.

　　Hatori closed his eyes, realizing how weak he was now. How easily he could be dealt with.

　　"I wouldn't lay a hand on me if I were you," he said. "I'm very useful as a pawn. I take money from the government, so I follow their orders. I don't care who’s messing around behind. No opinions, no principles. Completely at your disposal."

　　"That's not how you acted in front of Suzuki."

　　"Uh, well..."

　　"Forget it, Hatori. We both know very well that you're not good with words." Joseph said, "If we had Shimazaki under control, Suzuki Shou would be in our hands by now. We won't make the same mistake again."

　　"So, you really did target Shou."

　　"More precisely, it’s Suzuki Touichirou. It was all so simple until Shimazaki came out of nowhere and stirred everything up. I have to say, you two are my biggest pain in the ass ever."

　　"Is that your opinion, or that of the mind control pervert?"

　　"Both." Joseph shrugged, "But it doesn’t matter. Anyway, Suzuki's going to take care of Shimazaki and hand over his precious son himself. Maybe he'll even leave Shimazaki half alive, which would be more ideal. As for you - " he approached the couch, "you'll be joining us soon."

　　"What a nag. Are you really that desperate for someone to admire your grand plan?"

　　He gave a fierce glare, then extended his right hand, with a cigarette held between his fingers, and pressed the tips against Hatori's forehead. Unable to resist, Hatori felt a cold, tingling energy flow into his head, like an annoying sharp monotone in his ears, making it harder and harder for him to think. He winced and groaned.

　　Hatori muttered, "My head is going to hurt like hell when this is over."

　　The other frowned.

　　"You know what? I've been thinking, this mind control ability is really handy. All you need to do is catch a few people first, then they'll do the work for you and go on to infect others." Hatori struggled to move, as if trying to maintain his consciousness by talking, "And you can monitor everything from a safe place, far away from the actual battlefield. We are similar somehow."

　　"True. But I don't have to rely on anyone else. That's our difference."

　　"You are indeed a tough nut to crack. Just like ants, no matter how many workers you kill, it's meaningless if you don't catch the queen. But when you're brainwashing a new target, like now, you still have to transmit the energy directly from yourself."

　　"......"

　　"Unless someone could sense that energy flow in that split second, and immediately teleport over to beat you up..." Hatori raised his trembling hand and took another drag on the cigarette. There was a mischievous gleam in his eyes, "Well, I happen to know the only person in the world who can do that."

　　The other froze.

　　"I'm the bait." Hatori grinned and blew white smoke into the other's face, "Gotcha, idiot."

　　Joseph - not Joseph - scrambled back. But it was all too late. He suddenly screamed, clutching his head in pain and stumbling over a chair. Hatori felt the cold energy in his head gradually dissipated.

　　He was tired. Exhausted. As if the last drop of power had been drained from his body. Sleepiness rolled in like a wave, making everything distant and blurry. Hatori heard Joseph cursing, which soon turned into a series of nervous, concerned calls. The cigarette slipped from his mouth and officially burned his favorite, now somewhat tattered, light blue pigeon sweater. Sleepiness gently enveloped him, welcoming him into the sweet, still darkness.

　　Before feeling sorry for the sweater, Hatori fell into a deep sleep.

#fanfic #fanfiction #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #ao3 #archive of our own #nozomu hatori #mp100 joseph #suzuki touichirou #super 5 #ultimate 5 #hatori nozomu

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moonspirit · 9 months ago

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HI HELLO WOFE!!

For the questions game!

3, 7, 5, 12, 14, 20, 31, 35

-Clouds ☁️

HELLO WAIF!!! This got long cuz I can't shut up, so under the cut #_#

3 - 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of? OOOOkay! Interstellar, Titanic, and Your Name (although other equally strong contenders are the Avatar movies (james cameron), any Ghibli movie, and The Martian, which I remember you love too T^T Yay common movie!)

7 - what scares you the most and why? Forgetting. More than being forgotten, which doesn't really bother me, it's forgetting. Even if a portion of my life has been dark or bleak, there's been a lot of nice things to appreciate even then; I try to write it all down in a journal every day. I think life's value is really all the moments and memories that fill up over time; I'm scared of a day coming when I don't remember all the lovely things I've encountered in my life.

5 - what made you start your blog? Ahh... I've honestly been here a long time xD Since late 2013 or early 2014, I don't remember very well, but O L D. At first I just started one to post my graphic designing pieces, but then stayed for the fandom culture and very specific humour which made me feel at home. I've left now and then, but I've always come back.

12 - what’s some good advice you want to share? This is tricky, because I give myself advice, and don't follow it #_# But something that has helped me a lot is to see only the present moment as truly valuable, and to soak in every bit of that, in touch, taste, smell and seeing. That way you've lived that minute or that hour, fully, and even if you don't get to live the next, you can find some peace. Why I say it helped me is because I always fret about the future, about whether this or that will happen, etc, and this shut up all those unwanted anxieties. 'Now' matters. Tomorrow will come, but I'll deal with it when it comes.

14 - what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do? I think... to live more spontaneously? XD I'm a planned/organized person, I need to see things on an agenda to breathe easy lmao. I envy people who can just live everyday spontaneously as it comes, without a care in the world.

20 - favourite things about the night? EVERYTHING!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!! I love most the drop in temperature, the silence, the occasional owls and bats, and also the lights in the distance. I live in a suburb, and while the immediate vicinity isn't bustling with noise and is mostly covered with trees and wildnerness, I can see the city in the distance. I like watching the pinpricks of moving vehicles, and wondering where they're going and to whom. The best thing of course, is the night sky. I spend inordinate amounts of time studying the stars and constellations haha xD Still don't have a telescope to see Jupiter's moons, but! one day! soon!

31 - are you messy or organised? V E R Y organized. Though in times of stress, it devolves into organized chaos, but still organized. My phase of using colour coded memo pads and cute stationery has long gone (tho I still love cute stationery T^T), so I just keep things simple now. A list. Ticked off. Etc.

35 - do you trust easily? Yeah. I shouldn't, given some stupid shit that happened some years back, but I still do xD I like to believe people are good (which is strange considering I hate human interaction, but then I suppose it applies to people I form bonds with, like you!)

HAVE I EXPOSED MYSELF ENOUGH YET??? AM I STILL GOOD TO MARRY???

#ask #cloud-senpai #ask game

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bisexualrapline · 2 years ago

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I’m falling out of love with bts with everyday that goes. Please don’t judge me for this but I’m just so overwhelmed and tired… been like that since early 2022. I think it’s because I found this in late 2020 and binge watched EVERY micro content they ever shared… gone thru the obsession, craziness, sharing it w friends and family, even minor shipping at the very beginning…

But now I feel so empty and I kind of regret the way things played out. I wish I took one thing at a time. But it’s so hard w Bangtan. They can be so addictive.

So now I just feel so empty and like nothing interest me anymore. I haven’t watched anything recently since summer. Even run episodes that I loved so much.

Is this weird? Like ofc I don’t hate this because also some of their stans have rubbed me the wrong way in the past but didn’t fixate on it too much. I’m afraid this is the end of my journey with tannies, even tho they’re so special, made me so much for the short period of time I known them. I’ll never hate them or forget them.

Idk if I should just try to take a LONG break from them and then get back to them again. Because if I continue like this after a while it will feel forced and not genuine. Honestly I’m so lost and idk what to do with these emoticons

hey i don’t judge you!

as a person with adhd i did exactly the same thing when i first got into tannies. it’s overwhelming and emotionally draining but exciting and dopamine releasing at the same time lmao. of course that’s not sustainable and you don’t have to feel guilty or bad because you don’t feel the same level of engagement you once did (hint: it was probably slightly unhealthy!)

for me at least it’s normal to burn out on a hyperfixation every once in a while. i’m not saying you have adhd but i don’t see why the same principle wouldn’t apply. there is an overload of something and then you have to balance your life to rectify it. try some new hobbies! find some new music! read some new books!

for me at least, that got me over my “burnout” period with bangtan pretty quickly. it’s hard to swing down from such an emotional high but feeling like i had balance in my life really made me rethink my relationship with fandom in general and realize how much (or how little) involvement would really make me happy.

now i engage when i feel like it, don’t engage when i don’t feel like it, am happy most of the time, and deeply love bangtan at all times. it’s okay to step back or feel a disconnect as long as you don’t try to “just push through” or force yourself into things that don’t make you happy. your health and happiness should always come first above all. please also realize that it doesn’t diminish your love or make it less worthy in any way if you have to take a step back. i’m not ashamed to admit there’s a ton of old content that i myself haven’t caught up with because of overwhelm and lack of time and honestly it gives me some comfort knowing there’s always something new for me to discover 🤷🏻‍♀️

take care and honestly try not to think too deeply about it. bangtan would want you to be smiling whether you’re watching them actively or not 💗

#ask #anon #long post #i hope this was at least somewhat helpful i kinda feel like i just rambled a lot sorry anon #my meds are wearing off lol

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avenger-hawk · 2 years ago

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I disagree with anon personality does have effect on who tops/bottoms, heck I base on personality than appearance too but still sometime like for certain pairs it is different, like for example for a certain pair gloomy personality x sunshine personality is the top/bottom but another pair that has this personality is sunshine x gloomy and for this other pair the top is the sunshine/while the bottom is gloomy one, it's personality then actions (then appearance, maybe) that determine it

yes exactly. personality extends to everything, including s*x...in general, a shy person usually won't make the first move, or be totally wild in bed with someone for the first time. It's just an example. Ofc there are controlling ppl who want to be dominated in bed and all that stuff that a lot of ppl like in pairings, but it's an exception. The majority of characters, and ppl, who are dominant in everyday life, will be dominant in bed too because it's natural for them, just like passive ppl will be passive and let them take initiative.

Anime has stereotypes of a certain appearance for the top and a certain one for the bottom, for personality it kind of depends because after all ships are mostly fan made content, but still, they usually have some 'guidelines', with some I agree, with some less. Like you with the sunshine/gloomy dynamic that doesn't always determine who's who, without taking into consideration their personalities and actions.

In N*ruto I don't even consider him such a big sunshine boy, since he showed a dark side more times. But still, he sure isn't the gloomy one, so I get what you mean. And it's clearly NS not because sunshine/gloomy only, but because Nar acted dominant and assertive with Sas since day 1.

Also some passive ppl/characters are not entirely submissive, they are kind of feisty and rebellious, for real or as a 'catch me if you can' kinda challenging behavior.

As a general thing I prefer the older one in the pairing, the more experienced, to be top. The bigger one physically even though it really depends on personality. Like, Kisame and Itachi, I don't like Itakisa aesthetically but as personalities it seems more fitting, since Itachi is a very controlling person with every character. At the same time, about a pairing I ship in a different fandom, based on some real life personalities lol, for me the oldest and more experienced and more protective one is the bottom, not the top, as, since it's real life, with homophobia existing and all, I imagine that it's more difficult to be bottom than top, in such a context, so the more experienced one takes this role. But in N*ruto and other fictional universes, where I imagine everyone bi/pansexual so the problem doesn't exist, I apply the previous 'rule'.

Or, in Psycho Pass, my ship is underrated: mostly they ship Kogami (darker skinned, taller, more muscular, gloomy but action based) with Ginoza (pale, shorter, thinner, gloomy but strict to to rules and procedures) with Kogami top but to me it's OOC because Kogami is forced in a subordinate/prisoner role, while Ginoza is not only a superior but a sort of handler/owner of him. And since Ginoza sticks to the rules and looks down on 'inferiors' it would be weird that he literally bended over for Kogami, while it's fitting that he has Kogami do it for him.

Also idk, most main characters have top energy imo lol.

#vivalarevolution #vivalarevolution: bonds #fanon and fandom stuff #anti-sasunaru

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verycharismaticdragon · 1 year ago

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I also think it's worth mentioning that Wangxian / MDZS have started several important discussions in Western fandom in the few years they've been around.

Due to MDZS donghua and The Untamed (animated and live-action adaptations respectively) becoming many English-speaking fans first foray into c-media, they brought to light many unconscious biases. However, thanks to the efforts of Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans, those biases were pointed out and interrogated, starting a widespread discussion about anti-Asian racism present in Western fandom spaces. Not limited to just sinophobic / anti-Chinese sentiments either, if you've seen discussions about for example the racist underpinnings of using Japanese terms to mean 'bad version of the thing' - the space for these discussions, which were of course long time coming, was in fact created by Chinese and Chinese diaspora MDZS fans speaking up about the issues they saw in Western fandom's treatment of Chinese BL characters.

Another discussion that was frankly a long time coming, but in which Wangxian in particular has made a significant difference, is the question of sanitization of queer media - in particular Western fandom's tendency to rip into any queer media that isn't completely chaste and conflict-free. There were people speaking up against this before, but due to MDZS's extremely specific circumstances, it became the ground for some very fruitful discussions.

Those circumstances were, first, its widespread popularity and massive fandom, meaning it had numbers on every possible side of the argument, and second, the discrepancy between the source material (novel) and adaptations, in particular the live-action show. For those unfamiliar: the queer romance in the show is at the level of about... Good Omens season 1, let's say; it's made clear they are each other's most important relationship, there is definitely no heterosexual explanation for it, lots of soulful eyecontact, some Significant Touches, and so on - but no love declaration, no kisses, let alone anything else. Which of course doesn't make it any less of a queer love story! But, conversely, original novel canon Wangxian are not just canonically married, but have tons of kinky sex described in explicit detail on page. (If you've heard wangxian shippers mention "everyday means everyday", yes thats about their sex life. If you've heard about the ass sword, yeah that too.)

The apple of discord thus was someone praising the live-action for its subtle, "pure" portrayal, touting it as better than "nasty fetishization" of the original work. Which generated many lines of discussion, including about censorship, and about racist undertones of claiming specifically Asian BL as fetishist while not applying the same scrutiny to Western m/m. But one in particular that I feel was very important to fandom at large was the pushback against the idea that "purer" queer rep is better one by MDZS fans. This was the first time a significant number of people were there to speak out about how, actually, gay&kinky sex shouldn't be confined solely to fanfiction. And how claiming its presence as inherently impure was in fact repackaged homophobia. And how damaging it was to queer ppl to only see the most sanitized versions of queer relationships be deemed acceptable, and everything else demonized. And how infantilizing it felt to not see any HE queer stories that also featured conflict between characters, as if queer ppl don't have a full breadth of human experience including fucking up in their romantic relationship, and as if the only two options for queer relationship are "chaste and unproblematique™" or "toxic af and will cause each other untold suffering and meet a terrible end". And ofc many also pointed out the underlying anti-kink sentiment behind many of the claims.

And again, this was brewing before, but the sheer mass of people who rallied behind MDZS Wangxian's unabashed sexcapades was actually, from what I've seen, the first time the scales well and truly tipped towards "purer is not better". I'm certainly seeing much more celebration of complex and interesting queer rep in fandom now, and much less pearl-clutching.

And of course, as mentioned before, there are now several books out there on the shelves that feature both an engaging plot unrelated to main characters' queerness and queer rep that is complex, interesting, and very much sex&kink positive - all because MDZS Wangxian was there.

AO3 Top Relationships Bracket- Semifinals

This poll is a celebration of fandom history; we're aware that there are certain issues with many of the listed pairings and sources, but they are a part of that history. Please do not take this as an endorsement, and refrain from harassment.

#wangxian #mdzs #polls

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dannyphantom-justiceleauge · 3 years ago

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This may be a minor gripe but something that has kind of bothered me about discussions and depictions of Dan is how often people seem to forget that Dan isn't just an older evil Danny, he's a combination of Danny and Vlad's ghost sides. Like people always talk about him like Danny threw away his humanity and turned evil but that's not even true. Sure, we can say that Dan is the result of Danny's action but that's a little unfair. (1/2)

(2/2) Him cheating on a test, coincidentally putting his loved one's in a position where they could be killed, is absolutely not his fault. Letting Vlad take away his ghost powers with a strange contraption might not have been the smartest move, but we are talking about a grieving CHILD here, of course he isn't going to make the best decisions. If anything Vlad's the one to blame here, and even then, it's not like he could predict what happened

---

you aren't wrong, my friend. it really isn't entirely danny's fault and the whole 'if you cheat on a test, you'll loose everything you love' moral is confused at best. i think as fandom we find it more interesting to look at danny's potential evil and moral struggle with himself. so simplifying it to be dan is a worse case scenario of danny makes the conflict less abstract.

particularly because when it comes to self blame danny isn't going to go easy on himself just because it was excusable mistakes.

i think another talking point should be how danny is the target of the time assassination more than vlad is, even though vlad is part of the evil whole. you could argue that danny is the catalyst of his friends death and vlad inventing the claw things. but vlad invented the claw things. maybe because his human side survived and acted relatively harmless from then on? or maybe it's because the observants based on the available evidence recognized danny as more of a threat. i think that fits actually, for all vlad tried to be an evil mastermind, his achievements outside of terrorizing a teenager and theft isn't particularly impressive. danny was the one who got shit done. all his fights he finished one way or another and i could see how that would bleed into dan defeating everyone.

the real question is how to we fix this. ideally we could shape this idea so it's less confused, though i do honestly find the dynamic of half danny, half vlad interesting. if for not other reason. than two half ghosts make a whole. actually that's something else to be said about dan. his self-loathing is what led him to killing his human half, another negative aspect coming from danny.

i wonder if we could frame it like fusion, from su. obviously dan isn't stable or healthy, or based on love. he's most comparable to malichite. but with less internal debate. dan took the best and worst of both of them. danny's determination, danny's fighting ability, danny's anger, danny's sarcasm, vlad's anger, vlads lack of morals, vlads schemes, vlad's control. heck, vlads desire to rule the world. i don't think we ever got that from danny.

maybe if vlad was more involved in the fight with dan it could have been used as an opportunity to compare and contrast their characters. to go we're not so different you and i. danny gets to recognize that he has that dark potential. vlad gets to be humbled by the fact that what he wants isn't good for anyone, especially himself. and to be fair, we do see some of that humbling with future vlad, but none of that character growth is given to present vlad, so, really it's just another vehicle for danny angst. it also depends on what you want to do with vlad though. he's a fascinating character and could be given redemption under the right circumstances or be a character who has the opportunity for redemption but chooses not to be redeemed every time.

that fits him and makes him both a more pathetic and despicable villain. it's hard to pity someone who ignores the opportunities to heal and grow.

as for danny, he becomes far more aware of the consequences his actions, especially his selfish and cruel ones can have. because that potential was always there. he has a history of abusing his powers. perhaps for this specific incident him abusing his powers can be something less understandable than almost cheating on a test that he couldn't study for through no fault of his own. (maybe i just have flexible morals?). maybe it could be something more character relevant, like he did something particularly vlad like, maybe he set up a prank at the nasty burger to get dash but it set off the explosion that killed his family. or maybe he did something particularly cruel and manipulative. there are better catalysts than a test. either way he recognized that he should never go that far again and strive to avoid being actively cruel.

he also has the opportunity to recognize that vlad does have a human half, even the one he's fighting everyday. he can face some conflict in it's not entirely clear what trait belongs to vlad and what trait belongs to him. he can empathize with vlad and he can recognize that situations aren't always in black in white. those who fly the highest, fall the hardest, after all.

it can be a growing experience. and while making it solely a danny goes bad and learns not to do evil kind of story. maybe we could cut vlad from the equation and just have danny face himself, full evil refection. i think exploring both vlad and danny through this fusion is far more interesting. especially because we can build on what's revealed about vlad in these episodes, in later ones. danny sees a future where vlad chills and that maybe his vlad could get their. later he see vlads past and what he lost to become who he is.

and then there's vlads turning point episodes. i don't know when motherly instinct took place but maddie fully recognizing he's a bastard and rejection him, was a turning point for his sanity, and danny helped it along. then we have danny rejecting him repeatedly, then we the clone episode, which we can all agree was a desperate move on his part, that danny once again thwarted. and we can all agree that this was the cannon turning point for his character where he stopped fighting for a family and started trying to be danny's villain. in that episode, i think danny could potentially pity vlad enough to try and reach out. he's not going to justify what vlad did and he's not going to apologize for stopping him. he went too far. he hurt danny and dani, he crossed a moral line that can't be justified even with his desperation. but if he changes...

he lost this time but if he changes, maybe they'll reach the point where they're ready to accept him.

i think the same thing could be said about his relationship with jack and maddie. if he changes, if he reaches out. if acts like less of a crazy fruitloop, his friends would be there for him. jack is still trying to be there for him, even if he's being oblivious about vlad's faults. vlads the one driving wedges into his relationships and pushing everyone away.

and that's so freaking human and understandable.it would be such a cool thing to explore with his character.

i could also see a potential arc where after valerie finds out vlad and masters are the same person she tries to get close to him, both to sus out how evil he is and to understand him as a halfa. afterall danny got her to acknowledge dani as human enough, the same would apply to vlad/plasmius, right? only he's a bad person and the more she uncovers about vlad masters the man, the more she realizes it's not the ghost half that's evil. but this is a double edged sword because, vlad is getting attached to her and encouraging her to be more evil. he's encouraging her to go darker and darker in her fight against ghosts and her fight specifically against phantom. to the point where she finally draws the line and says, i'm not doing that! boom exploring the moral ambiguity of her character and getting her to take a hard stance on her morals, because there's a line too far for her.

and boom a further breakdown of vlads character because he finally had someone outside the fentons to redeem him. she could have helped pull him out of the hole he'd been digging himself into. she wanted to help him. he got attached to her, but he and his bad decisions decided to dig himself deeper instead. so once again he's 'abandoned and betrayed'.

from that point, i think it'd be time for him to finally face jack head on. not through manipulative schemes. not through veiled threats and insults. but the full confrontation of 'i always hated you. you ruined my life. you're the reason i lost everything'. which is really just his own self loathing speaking. and jack... empathetic jack can see that vlad desperately wants help. and jack would offer it to him. jack would try to hug it out and apologize and give vlad the love and friendship vlad's been fighting to steal this whole time.

and vlad would reject it.

he'd probably lash out a jack and go into a full breakdown/world destroying attack. could finally put the stolen crown to use and try declaring himself king and embracing his megalomaniac thing and actually be a threat this time. and THAT would be our series finally. everyone teaming up to fight 'king vlad'. danny probably finding out that he's technically king because he beat pariah dark but the matter being a bit confused because he had help. val and danny trying to find the ring of rage or at least find someone who can make one. secrets are out. i imagine vlad, upon revealing himself to jack would out danny to make danny as sad and alone as him. except nope, his family still loves him and val has had the character development to come around to him. (she's still gonna punch danny for lying for so long.) the ghosts will come and help because no one wants another tyrannical kind and vlads obviously off his rocker.

ah, the could have beens

anyway, i didn't mean for this to become a full vlad character analysis and rewrite when we were supposed to be talking about dan, but hey, i'm a simple creature. i like good writing, and i have to rewrite things myself, so be it. - Hestia

#dpjl #hestiawrites #danny phantom #vlad masters

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mountain-man-cumeth · 4 years ago

Text

What Went Wrong: An In-Depth Analysis of Muriel's Route

*Youtuber voice*

Below are the opinions of an uneducated individual on what could’ve left the majority of The Arcana audience dissatisfied. I will explore the plot, tropes, themes and morals of the Muriel route and try to explain what may have gone wrong. I will be treating the game as a novel since it's advertised as one.

1. Consistency. If you are unfamiliar with the chekhov's gun; it's a story writing principle that dictates each element you introduce should come into play (foreshadowing). Now let's start with a few story beats that were later abandoned or concluded in an underwhelming manner:

Muriel's blanket

Muriel's magic mark (on his back)

Forest spirit (spirits in general)

Lucio's upbringing

Circumstances of MC's death

Figurines/whittling/charms

Muriel's blanket is teased to be a tapestry, which would tie in with his later fascination with them later on, as it had been the only thing he had left from his past. MC neither sees nor comments on the blanket, we only know it exists thanks to other playthroughs and short stories.

Magic marks are an important point in the game. Every main route emphasises on how it affects the chosen LI. It's reveal is important in a way that it serves as a passage to a new act where the reader explores magic and Arcana pantheon as they are a monumental part of the overall worldbuilding. This exact point applies to the Heart of the Forest and how spirits interact with the world around them as well.

Whittling and Charm making are the only hobbies we get from Muriel's isolated life, their introduction helps the reader humanise the character by giving us a crumb of his everyday life. It's never mentioned again after the scene where MC asks him what he does. He doesn't idly whittle during their journey and charms only come to play in an offhanded reference during reversed ending.

The other two are also ignored but I will touch on Lucio later on.

Why do these matter? A few abandoned plot points don't make or break the story but on a grander level it hinders the audience investment. When we read, we like to think the details we notice will come to play eventually, we like recognizing references that were introduced earlier. I'm sure I don't need to give examples on this one, I don't think anyone will disagree.

2. Themes. Thematic influences this story utilized are all over the place, and it seems to me like it stems from the improper application of certain tropes;

The Hero's Journey

Home Sweet Home

Shell-Shocked Vet

Last of His Kind

etc.

Some of these tropes tackle themes such as;

Slavery

PTSD

Survivor's Guilt

Genocide

I'm not going to try to explain How to Write any of these topics. I'm not remotely qualified. I think it's better if I just give examples from popular media because whether you know how to write it or not, you can still understand when it's written well;

AtLA deals with genocide and survivor's guilt. It's in the name; The Last Airbender. Aang is the sole survivor of a culture he'd only had an opportunity to engage in for a handful of years. He left them with a childish tantrum and now they're gone forever. I can't think of another mainstream series that shows the gruesome reality of war and genocide better than this one.

When Muriel realizes his true heritage and loses Khamgalai is the point of the story where Luke sees his family's farm burned down, Aang goes back to the air temple, Treebeard walks in on the demolished part of the forest. (The inciting incident)

(Could also have been forest spirit’s death but it was too early in the story so I don’t consider it a missed opportunity.)

Up until this point the hero has their doubts, they're going through the motions but they are either underestimating the enemy or they're a passive protagonist. Either way, this is the point where the hero has to take the reins of the story. What purpose does this serve in Muriel's route instead? It simply validates Muriel's beliefs. He's useless, he isn't strong enough. We as the reader need a point to see where the hero takes a step to drive the story forward or whoever takes that step will steal the spotlight, it will be their story. As it is, this is the point where it ceases to be Muriel’s story.

PTSD got the worst end of the deal. Since Dragon Age fandom has a huge overlap with the Arcana I will use Fenris as an example; for those who are unfamiliar with the character, Fenris is an escaped slave. After the sex scene he vividly describes an experience that most people can easily identify as a flashback. The game never tells us that he was abused, it doesn’t show us him having a panic attack but it shows us that whatever transpired between him and the player character clearly triggered an unpleasant memory.

Arcana tries and initially succeeds to do something similar. We see that the character is untrustworthy, sensitive to touch, easily agitated, can’t sleep outside of his perceived safe environment… It introduces us the cause later on and the story has two options, each will drastically change the moral of the story:

Remember these as they will be important later on

Portray Muriel fighting as a bad thing; You can’t fight violence with violence angle or the fact that the villain’s forcing him into a situation where he’ll have to fight again makes the villain all the more intimidating.

Portray Muriel fighting as a good thing; He has the means to defeat the villain and he just needs encouragement. With great power comes great responsibility. By not fighting he willingly condemns everyone to an awful fate and that he is selfish.

I’d like to take a second to explore the 1. Option, I feel like the game may have intended to implement that idea but failed because of the implementation of Morga and choices presented for the player character: Morga is an Old-Soldier, these characters are often push the hero out of their comfort zone in an aggressive way towards complacency, they are a narrative foil to the mentor. For the first option to work the story had to show Khamgalai acting as a mentor and having the protagonists challenge Morga’s teachings(see Ozai-Iroh). As it is, Morga’s actions are never put under scrutiny (narratively) and her death feels hollow as a result. She didn’t sacrifice herself for the heroes due to her guilt, she died because she felt a moment of sympathy for her son which wasn’t explored before, she showed no intention to change nor any doubt.

It is clear the game choose 2. Option, it is a controversial choice given Muriel’s mental condition and the game is acutely aware of this, which is likely why Muriel’s PTSD will get carefully scraped from the story from here on out. (I won’t address other instances where his trauma wasn’t taken into account, I feel like this explanation should cover them as well.)

3. Morals. Every story, whether the author intends it or not, has a moral. The Villain most often acts against that moral and in turn can change the hero's perspective. Morals are not ideals; the morality of Killmonger isn’t that marginalised people should fight for their rights, it is that vengeance is just. Whether it’s right or wrong can be debated but what makes an ideal the moral of the story is in the portrayal. How the narrator depicts the events, how people around the heroes react... all are a part of portrayal.

The story choosing “Muriel fighting is a good thing” earlier puts in the foundation of a moral. The story tells us Muriel has to fight, it’s the right thing to do. He has to be brave for the people he loves.

This choice affects how his past actions will be perceived; now, him escaping the arena to save himself is cowardly, abandoning Morga is cowardly.

The story tells us it wasn’t, but shows us that it was. This is the end of the midpoint of the story, at this point we need to have a good grasp on what we should perceive as wrong or right for us to feel invested. If we zig-zag between the morals we won’t know which actions we should root for. But more than that, the conclusion will not feel cathartic as it will inevitably demonstrate the opposing ideals clashing at its climax.

Villain doesn't necessarily have to be sympathetic and Muriel's route makes no effort to make him as such, but they need to be understandable. What danger does Lucio pose to the status quo, what makes him a compelling villain? Whether he conquers Vesuvia or not doesn’t drastically affect Muriel’s way of life, he’s been in hiding for years. He doesn’t threaten to steal MC’s body, Muriel is not compelled to pick up arms to save his beloved. He wants to protect the people from going through what he’s been through, right? That is what the story wants us to think. But what has he been through? Fighting was his choice, Lucio tricked him into it. Lucio later tricked Morga, his own mother, to save his own hide. This tells us that Lucio is a manipulator, but he doesn’t manipulate his way into Vesuvia, he barges in with deus ex machina monsters. He doesn’t demonstrate his skills as a tactician by making deals with neighbouring kingdoms to get their armies. We don’t know his strengths therefore we don’t know his weaknesses. If he seems to be losing he can just conjure a giant dragon to burn everything down, we just can’t know. That is why the application of deus ex machina is highly taboo, the victories don��t feel earned and defeats feel unfair.

4. Tone. Playing with the genre is not uncommon and a game such as Arcana has many opportunities to do so. It is a romance story, everything else is the back-drop. The tone works best when its overall consistent but tonal changes act as shock for the audience to keep them engaged and keeping one tone indefinitely gets us desensitized. We can’t feel constant misery if we are not made to feel tinges of hope in between. Good examples of dramatic tonal change (that I can think of): Mulan - arriving at the decimated village, La Vita e Bella - the father’s death, M*A*S*H - death of Hawkeye’s friend. Two of these examples are mostly comedy which is why this tonal shift affects us so, it was all fun and games until we are slapped in the face with the war going on. There are no one liners in those scenes, the story takes a moment to show appropriate respect to the dead, it gives its characters time to digest and come to terms with loss. Bad examples are the majority of Marvel movies.

In Muriel’s route there’s never such a thing, Muriel has a panic attack and MC kisses him. This unintentionally tells us, the genre being romance, that the panic attack only served to further MC’s advances. It tells us that he’s never had the control of his life and it’s yet again stripped from him by the decisions of player character. This is not the only instance this happens. The story shoe-horns in multiple cuddle sessions between important plot beats. And it does the exact opposite during a moment where he is having a heart-to-heart with the person he loves by having the ghost of Morga appear to give an ominous warning/advice.

When he runs off during masquerade it’s built up to be an important plot point. Muriel will finally face his past, he’s been running away from it all along, and he will have an opportunity to be accepted back in. MC is supportive but ultimately, it’s meant to be Muriel's moment. But as I mentioned above this is not his story anymore so he’s not given any time to address his problems, instead a ghost appears to tell him what he needs to do, again. Because we need to wrap the story up, we don’t have time.

Remember how I said the 2 Options will be important later on, well here we are at the very end. Upright and reversed.

“Portray Muriel fighting as a bad thing”

This suggests that the triumph of Muriel won’t be through violence. Maybe he will outsmart Lucio in a different way, he won’t play his games anymore. This option suggests that Lucio will not be beaten by his own terms.

“Portray Muriel fighting as a good thing”

This option concludes with Muriel finally overcoming his reservations on violence and doing what's right to save the people he loves. And bringing justice to people who Lucio hurt.

If you are wondering why the upright ending feels random, this is likely why. The ending plays out as if the story was building on the 1st option while we spent chapters upon chapters playing out the 2nd one. It is unearned.

(The reversed ending, being reversed, also uses Option 1 path but in which Muriel can’t achieve his narrative conclusion)

The Coliseum is filled with people who are on their side against Lucio’s shadow goons. Because we can’t have people being on Lucio’s side without addressing the duality of human nature, even though it’s an important part of Muriel’s story. The people who watched and enjoyed Lucio’s bloodsport are no more, they are all new and enlightened offscreen. We completely skipped the part where Vesuvia comes to terms with its own complacency and Muriel simply feels at ease because the crowd is cheering on him now. This is what happens when you give the character a chance to challenge those who have been complicit in his abuse (masquerade scene) and completely skip it to move the story along.

Muriel doesn't get justice, ever. The people only love him now because he's fighting for them instead of his own survival. Morga or her clan doesn't answer for the massacre of Kokhuri, Vesuvia doesn't answer for the sick entertainment they indulged in and Lucio doesn't answer for Muriel's enslavement. It is not even acknowledged, nowhere in the story (except the very end of reversed ending, and even then it almost gets him killed so its clearly the wrong thing to do on his part) is a choice presented where Muriel has an opportunity to get any sort of compensation where he instead chooses to move on.

I don’t intend to straw man anyone but this is a sentiment I’ve seen a lot; “It’s a short story, a dating-sim, what do you expect?”

I expect nothing, I’m simply explaining why some people feel how they feel. It is a short dating-sim but it seems to me like it was aiming to be something more by borrowing elements that were clearly far above their weight range to tease something more and under deliver. It is okay to feel content with the story, and it’s okay to feel let down. If we had a unanimous decision on literature we would never be inclined to write our own stories.

#personal #muriel #muriel spoilers #tw: PTSD #tw: trauma #tw: slavery #tw: genocide #karayan

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dreaming-of-assclass · 3 years ago

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Warning: personal but maybe hopefully someone else can relate too <3

Somehow for me, I feel most connected to writing through really random, mundane aspects of life. Like going out for a walk on a sunny day, admiring the nature, for some reason, makes me inspired to create something.

Watching a couple squirrels run across tree branches… feeling a wave go over my feet as I stand at the shoreline on a beach trip, it’s all these little moments that spark some kind of creativity in my head.

That’s probably the biggest reason why I was most active in 2020. Every day during quarantine, I would go outside (when it was safe ofc) and for the first time, actually notice and feel grateful for all the little moments of living. Everyday, I would feel inspired and excited to go back to my laptop and write about Class E on their adventures.

It got harder in 2021, when I became consumed again with school, grades, applying to university, etc. All these bigger picture things completely took over and made it hard for me to even feel a little bit of patience or creativity.

So you can imagine how dead my spark has been this year when I’m actually in university lol, and all my energy has been on school, friends, etc. I’ve been seeing my dorm and campus everyday, rather than the beautiful nature and cities I’d seen before.

But yeah, I’d say the root of my imagination and ability to tell stories has always had some ties to what I consider to be the beautiful simplicities of life. The moments that you don’t really consider at first, but hold so much meaning when you finally do.

In my AssClass-related writing, I always focus on having a slice-of-life vibe. Partly because I value interpersonal relationships and character growth over plot, personally. But also because I like to translate where my spark comes from into my work. That’s why a lot of my pieces are just small moments in the lives of the characters, and the atmosphere around them.

I’ve always hoped my writing carried this sense of simplicity and even nostalgia, and just how meaningful those small moments could mean for the characters. And even better, if the descriptions matched the nature-inspired images I had before translating them into words.

There are some writers in the fandom that I admire so much, who tell their stories so beautifully in a way I’d love to be able to. They’ve definitely inspired me a lot, as well.

Like @transterasakagang (sorry for the tag, Lee!!) has the loveliest style omg. Their fics always have such a sense of nostalgia and beautiful memories, and show how great it is to live in the moment. I especially love that they write about group 3, characters you normally wouldn’t associate right away with that kind of peaceful vibe.

@assclassmeraki Ton, I literally adore you and your writing so much, like since day 1 of reading it. Your prose captures all the best vibes, and you create such a beautiful atmosphere in everything you write. For me, reading your work feels like I’ve temporarily stepped into a Studio Ghibli world. It’s like a fantasy, and it’s so delightful.

But yeah lol, I thought I’d share my thought process. Because I know it’s crazy I haven’t posted anything really in such a long time 😔 I wish I could, my brain is just scrambled currently. And I’ve been so consumed by real life stuff, I have not felt connected to the strongest source of my creativity. Hopefully this made sense lol

And I wanted to give a shout-out to those two mutuals of mine bc they’re so talented and their writing is like what I imagine in my head, and what I wish to be like <3 literally goals

#post #assclass

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babyjamiebarnes · 4 years ago

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Build-A-Bear

Part One

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker (platonic), background MCU characters

Warnings: [chapter] language; [series] language, smut, violence

Summary: The only people who knew she was actually a Stark were her dad, her step-mom Pepper, and her “uncles” Happy and Rhodey. A promotion within Stark Industries takes her from an already-sought after position in the Weapons Anaylsis Unit straight to the Avengers as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist... which means her dad is her new boss. There’s only one rule at work: no fraternizing with coworkers. There’s one more rule at home: no dating any Avengers. So what is she supposed to do when a grumpy super soldier becomes not-so-grumpy around her? At 25, do her dad’s rules still apply? Or is her entire livelihood at risk?

Author’s Note: I’ve written a decent portion of this but know I won’t keep writing it or post it unless I hold myself accountable and get it out there in the first place 🙈 I haven’t written much for Marvel yet but I’ve read plenty and have written for other fandoms in the past (not to mention the writing degree on my wall lol). I’ll try to post every 2-3 days to keep this moving! And if you like it and want to, buy me a coffee!

No one knew Tony Stark had a daughter. No one but Tony Stark and his daughter. Well, and her step-mom Pepper. And her godfather Rhodey. And her uncle-not-uncle Happy. But no one in their everyday lives knew. She was given her mother’s maiden name and kept a secret, even when she turned 17 and moved to a small apartment near NYU’s campus (with Happy stationed right next door, of course) to start life as a truly normal adult, or as close to normal as an undercover Stark could be. When she graduated with her PhDs in robotics and electrical engineering at 25 — proving brains really do run in the family — she moved into her own apartment in Manhattan, funded by her father under the pseudonym “Michael Myers.” Subtlety was never his strong suit.

Fortunately for you, growing up without the Stark name let you live a relatively normal life. It also allowed you to apply for a position within Stark Industries without being ushered past any red tape because of who your father is. Outside of the financial advantage you had, you worked for your spot in a STEM career. You suffered through every man in your field belittling your work despite knowing less than you. You dealt with the constant interruptions and “well, actually” because of your gender. You powered through late nights and early mornings when your mind was flowing too smoothly to quit.

The last thing you wanted to do was have all that work disregarded because you shared a name with genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark. So you filled out the application, sent in your resume and cover letter, and attached three letters of recommendation from your professors. You went through hours of interviews, background checks (conveniently redacting your father’s name), and polygraph tests until that offer letter showed up in your email. You even had to sign the Non-Disclosure Agreements that would bar you from discussing *anything* work-related with anyone outside of your department.

You spent your first year in the weapons analysis department, evaluating alien weaponry and determining how it worked and how to disable it. You had your fair share of mishaps, of course. Holes blasted into walls, fried robot dummies, even burnt animal carcasses. By the end of your first year, your supervisor sent a commendation and proposal for you for an undisclosed promotion. After Pepper Potts “thoroughly examined your resume, cover letter, and accomplishments during your tenure with Stark Industries,” as the letter read, you were awarded a position working on the Avengers’ weapons as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist. You’d never see a fight in-person, but you were assigned to work on advancements and post-battle repairs for everyone, from the Winter Soldier’s arm to the Falcon’s wings to Vision’s... everything. The only heroes you wouldn’t work on were Iron Man and War Machine (those were your dad’s territory) and Spider-Man.

On your first day in your new position, the one and only Pepper Potts showed you to your new lab on the 47th floor. It took all your willpower to look your step-mother in the eye and say, “Wow, Miss Potts. This is amazing. It’s such an honor to meet you,” with a straight face to convince any passerby that you had no outside affiliation with her. Even if her eyes stayed steady on you, you could see her mentally rolling them.

Once you were alone behind the doors of the elevator, conversation changed course.

“You’re going to be sharing a lab with someone else,” Pepper said.

“Sweet. As long as they’re competent, that’s fine by me,” you shrugged. Part of earning your degrees was learning to share a workspace with others, even those who bumbled and fumbled with no idea what they were doing. You’d had more hair singed by nearby explosions than you’d like to admit.

“He’s still in college so he’s not here as often as the others. Most of his work will be on Spider-Man’s gadgets and suit, but you can use him for any help you need.”

Walking past the familiar faces of Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho in their respective labs, Pepper ushered you into your lab, where you were met by your father and put on the same excited facade you did with Pepper.

“Oh my god, you’re Tony Stark! This is incredible! It’s such an honor to meet you, sir!”

He shook his head at you and reluctantly accepted your outstretched hand. Oh, the jokes you’d be making at family dinners.

“Yeah, anyway, this is your new lab, Miss [Y/L/N]. Make yourself at home. This lab rat over here is mister Parker. If you have any questions, he can at least bullshit an answer for you.”

The young man on the other side of the lab perked up at the sound of his name. He tugged the goggles off his face and set down his soldering rod to rush over to you.

“Hi. Hi, I’m Peter,” he said, reaching his hand out to you.

“I’m [Y/N]. It’s nice to meet you, lab partner.”

He looked to be a bit younger than you and at least relatively smart, if the MIT sweatshirt peeking out from under his lab coat said anything. If your dad gave him an internship like this, you knew you shouldn’t question it. He had to be a genius.

The kid just smiled at you, continuing to shake your hand past what most would deem socially acceptable.

“Okay, enough of that,” Tony said, pushing on your joined hands to separate you two. “Mister Parker might be in and out of the lab from time to time. He joins the Avengers on the occasional recon mission for immediate repairs but since he’s on break from classes, you’ll see him more often than not. Play nice.”

When he noticed you surreptitiously looking Peter up and down, he added, “Remember, no fraternizing with coworkers.” He pointed a finger directly at you before he spun and pointed to your fellow lab mate, realizing he should warn Peter too to save face.

“All the blueprints you need for the Tin Man’s arm are in the system. We’ll have you start on that and see what you can do about minimizing the sound that thing makes. Any other questions, give Pep a call.”

“Thank you, mister Stark. I really do appreciate everything,” you said genuinely.

“Yeah, well… don’t let me down,” he replied, patting you on the shoulder on his way out. Pepper followed close behind, leaving you alone with Peter Parker.

“So Peter,” you started, sliding onto the lab chair next to where he remained standing, “tell me about yourself.”

“Uh… what do you want to know?” he asked as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

“How old are you?” you asked immediately.

“I’m 21.”

Only four years younger than you. So you’d probably get along just fine.

“I assume you’re at MIT?” He nodded. “What are you studying?”

“Biomolecular and mechanical engineering.” He said it so casually, you’d think he was talking about the last song he heard on the radio.

“Damn,” you responded, eyes wide. “I thought robotics and electrical engineering was wild but fuck, that sounds like hell.”

He laughed and nodded, letting a bit of the tension in his shoulders fall. “Yeah, it’s not easy. But it’s worth it.”

He shot you a small smile before gesturing back at his project. “I should probably get back to work and let you get started.”

For the rest of the day, you familiarized yourself with the Winter Soldier’s arm to figure out how to… turn the volume down? You assumed it was the gears inside causing the noise, but part of you wanted to outfit an audio jack and speaker just to fuck with your dad.

You and Peter worked in relative silence, aside from the playlist he had quietly playing through the lab sound system. When lunch rolled around, however, you finally spoke up.

“Hey Peter,” you called, his eyes flicking from the chemical beakers in front of him up to you. “First of all, what are you doing?”

“Um, it’s Spider-Man’s web fluid. Just trying to find more durable combinations.”

“Interesting.” As much as you wanted to touch the stringy substance, you knew better than to fiddle with someone else’s lab work. “Okay so second thing, in my last position, I’d just order food and have it brought to my floor but now that I’m on an exclusive floor, what do you do for lunch?”

“Oh, there are a couple security guys who have clearance to come into this floor. They just can’t get into any rooms so you’d have to meet them at the elevator. But I usually find something in the kitchen down the hall.”

“Oh, sweet. Thanks!” you said as you made your way out the door. Before you could fully exit, you turned back to see if Peter wanted you to grab anything. Once he promised he’d take his own break ‘once I get this one thing figured out,’ you continued to make your way to the kitchen.

As you drew closer to the doorway, you could hear three voices speaking over each other. They didn’t sound angry, but they were definitely arguing. You opened the door anyway and almost immediately froze in your tracks. The Falcon stood with one hand on his own head and one on the Winter Soldier’s head while Captain America rolled his eyes before those same eyes landed on you, along with the rest of the room.

“Perfect,” Sam started. “Hey new girl, between the three of us,” he said, pointing to himself, the Soldier, and the Captain, “who has the best hair?”

“First of all, my name is [Y/N]. Second,” you continued, making your way past them to the fridge you hoped your dad kept stocked with goodies, “that’s an unfair question.”

You grabbed a soda and popped it open before turning back to the three men. “Your hair suits each of you. Cap wouldn’t look good with Winter Soldier hair and Falcon wouldn’t look good with Cap’s hair.” You took a few steps closer, leaning against the island counter between you and eyeing each of them. Your eyes settled on the Winter Soldier, unashamedly flitting across his face and admiring the sharpness of his features. “You,” pointing at him, “could probably pull off either of their looks, though.”

Bucky smirked at you, but his rosy cheeks gave away a hint of embarrassment at your compliment. Steve and Sam, on the other hand, weren’t taking it quite as gracefully.

“What?!” Sam shouted. “Okay, now I know you’re lying. I could pull off Cap’s hair for sure.”

“You know, I think shaggy hair would really suit me,” Cap said, only half sarcastically.

You giggled to yourself as the three of them started talking over each other again, all dead set on their own hair being the best of them and positive they could pull off the others’ looks. While they bickered, you searched the pantry until you found a snack to at least get you through the remainder of the day.

“Alright boys, it’s been fun but I have work to do,” you said as you walked past them again. “Actually, wait. Bucky — can I call you Bucky?” He nodded even though you continued anyway. “If you could stop by lab six today, I’d love to check out your arm in person. The digital renderings aren’t quite the same.”

“Uh, okay. Sure. I’ll find you,” he said quietly.

“Sweet, thanks!” And with that, you skedaddled back to your lab.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x Stark!reader #Stark!reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes series #bucky x Stark!reader

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lichenlad · 3 years ago

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(edit: I think Spamton would like dandelions and I think) he'd also like anything in the darkner world that reminded him of the sun or sky, even subconsciously. Like, if there was something painted blue with white patches where the paint had flaked off, or how traffic lights sometimes light up yellow, or things like pancakes (those are vaguely sun colored). Even if he couldn't articulate why it made him feel a tiny bit happier I think it would.

I think he'd also like dandelions too - they're treated like weeds (trash), but every single part of them is good in some way. Like how Spamton has many skills and talents he's developed over his life. Dandelions are also very persistant and strong, like Spamton, even when people try to get rid of them, they don't give up. Some people also find them ugly but I think they have a lot of charm, like Spamton. They also have a young, fuzzy, happier looking phase where their flowers are fluffy and yellow and an older stage where they're more delicate and white, like how Spamton looked different as addison and is in rougher shape now. Dandelions were actually once beloved by everyday people, like how Spamton was beloved widely as a big shot, but now people look down on both of them and see them as an ugly nuisance. Dandelions can actually be pretty healthy for you too, kind of like how Spamton can use healdeals / F1 angels to heal the player.

Maybe the biggest difference here is that dandelion seeds are free - they're carried by the wind. Spamton hasn't found freedom, but maybe in how much the fandom loves and makes art about him he has sort of found that in a meta way.

ninja edit: dandelions arent considered weeds everywhere, this probably just applies to parts of the US. Also not everyone in the US hates them ofc, i'm just saying they're treated like unwanted garbage in the mainstream by a lot of people (think of like, weed killer commercials or something)

#spamton #i love dandelions and had thoughts!#my stuff #text #deltarune #also i edited the beginning bc i accidentally deleted the first half of my sentance

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terubakudan · 3 years ago

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This may be an old article from 3 years ago, but these cultural aspects/observations still apply even today. And though this is strictly a Chinese perspective, a lot of these everyday life bits are observed in Overseas Chinese communities in countries such as The Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. as well as countries heavily influenced by Chinese culture like Taiwan, Japan, and Korea.

I've always liked learning about other cultures and making comparisons between how things are done East vs West. Which probably stems from growing up with two cultures and Mom raising me on American movies xD

So the irony is if you asked me how many Chinese, Taiwanese, or Hong Kong actors I know, chances are I know as much as you do xD Like Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, and that's about it. But if you asked me about Western (specifically American and British) actors, then I have a useless brain dump of movie trivia and who was with who in what movie xD

Hmmm, both Taiwan and the Philippines are two distinct cultures but both look up to a certain country and are fascinated by that. In Taiwan's case, Japan and the US for the Philippines. In both cases, this is due to being under the rule of those countries in their history. Taiwan being under Japan for 50 years, and the Philippines being under Spain for 300+ years, followed by periods of American and Japanese rule. To put it simply though:

Taiwan is "mini-Japan with a very Chinese culture".

The Philippines is "former colony of Spain with lots of American influences".

But unlike the author, I've never set foot in any Western country, so my understandings are strictly what I've observed in media, which while it can be accurate, doesn't compare to actually experiencing the culture.

Some further elaboration on most points:

#1 We quite literally use chopsticks for everything. We use it to pick rice, viands, vegetables, fruit, smaller desserts, almost all the food you can think of.

But where do you put your chopsticks when you're not using them? Just put them on top of your bowl or flat on your plate. But do not ever stick them vertically. It's taboo, since it looks like incense sticks, which we use to pray for those who have passed, like our ancestors or during funerary services.

#3 The majority of Asia is obsessed with fair/white skin. In my time at the Philippines, I grew up watching all these Dove Whitening commercials and my classmates often commented on how fair my skin was, how they envied it etc. In Taiwan, girls often say they don't want to 變黑 (biàn hēi) 'become dark'. Japan and Korea too are not innocent of this either (if their beauty/skin products weren't a dead giveaway).

People here at Taiwan often mistake me for being from Hong Kong or Japan (as long as I don't speak Mandarin with my heavy accent xD). A Taiwanese classmate of mine joked that she often gets mistaken for being from Southeast Asia due to having a darker complexion. And while I laughed it off with her at that time, looking back, I now realize she was lowkey being racist. xD

And believe me Filipinas have mentioned literally being told 'your skin is so dark' here in Taiwan, or being given backhanded compliments like 'you're pretty despite having dark skin' and...*facepalms*

My point is, beauty is not exclusive to skin color. People who still think that are assholes.

#5 Not to say we don't have salt and pepper, but yes soy sauce and vinegar are the classic condiments you see on the table, be it at home or at a restaurant.

And if I may add, Taiwanese love their pepper. xD If you ever get to eat at a night market or a smaller "Mom n' Pop-style" restaurant here, some dishes/soups tend to add quite an excessive amount of pepper. Not like anthills, but quite liberally and way more than average. Enough that you see traces of pepper at the bottom of the food paper bag or swirling in your soup. xD

#6 I know this all too well from personal experience. In my years of studying at Taiwan, I always had roommates. 3 in my first school (I graduated high school in the Philippines pre K-12 so I had to make up 2 years of Senior High), followed by 2 in college, with the exception of 1 in freshman year.

My college did offer single person dorms but at around 9000 NTD ($324) per month compared to around 6000 NTD ($216) per semester. Because I wanted to save, the choice was obvious for me xD. But ah, this doesn't mean I don't value personal space, in fact I love having the room to myself, and since both my roomies would go home to their families every weekend, weekends were bliss for me xD

And you don't have to be friends with your roommates (that's an added bonus however), you just have to get along with them. I was quite lucky to have really great roommates all throughout my schooling years.

#9 In the Philippines, we do. Owing mostly to American influences and maybe being predominantly Catholic? xD

#10 *sigh* Chinese parents and parents from similar Asian cultures tend to put too much emphasis on grades, so much that kids could get sent to cram school as early as elementary. This is because what school you get into could literally affect your future job opportunities, and while that's not exclusive to any particular country/culture, I feel it's especially pronounced here in Asia. I'm really lucky my own parents weren't that strict about it. However, if your parents don't point the mistakes out to you, chances are you'll do it yourself, if you're an Asian kid like me anyway. xD It just becomes a habit.

#11 My family is an exception to this. xD We do say 'I love you' directly, but complete with the 'ah eat well ok?', 'don't scrimp on food', 'sleep well' and similar indirect words/actions of affection. We were doing 'Conceal, Don't Feel' before it became popular. xD

#13 I'm kind of confused about this but this has sort have changed over the years in which eye-contact is now more encouraged. But don't stare, especially at elders and authority figures. Sometimes it's just shyness though. xD And I've observed this with my own Taiwanese friend, especially when I'm complaining or ranting to her about something. xD I'm a person who likes to express my opinions strongly, which tends to scare/alienate some of the locals here, as doing so is kind of frowned upon. Thankfully, she does listen and offers her take on things.

#14 Ah this. xD In the Philippines, this is a common greeting known as beso-beso, and I freaked out too when an auntie did that to me. xD Needless to say, Mom lectured me later on what that was. ^^"

#16 Along with #3 another crazy beauty standard. In my view, people always look better with a little meat on them and when they're not horribly thin. Asia still has a loonng way to go with accepting different types of bodies if you ask me. This combined with modern beauty standards has made the pressure for women especially to 'look beautiful' higher than ever.

I know many people love them but please, starving yourself or glorifying eating disorders is never OK just to get this kind of 'ideal' body. I'm not part of the Kpop fandom, but even I think when idols get bullied just for gaining the least bit of weight among other insensitive comments, that's really going too far.

#17 'If you want to make friends, go eat.' <- I couldn't agree more. In the Philippines we have a greeting: 'Kumain ka na ba?' (Have you eaten?) . Similarly in Taiwan, we have 吃飯了沒? (chī fàn le méi), both of these can mean that in the literal sense but are often used as greetings instead. By then which invitation to having lunch/dinner together may or may not follow. Food really is a way for us to socialize and to catch up with what's going on in each other's lives. Not to say we don't have regular outings like going out to the mall, going shopping, etc. but eating together is a huge part of our culture, be it with family or friends.

And while I'm at it, some memes that are way too accurate good to pass up xD

Parents, uncles, aunties alike will fight over the bill xD

Alternatively:

You just space out until your name is called xD

My parents are guilty of the last one. Logic how? xD

#18 True. xD I like giving compliments out to people but I have a hard time accepting them myself, though I've learnt how to accept them much more now than before. We're kind of raised to constantly downplay ourselves so we often say things like 'ah no no' or 'I'm really not that good'. The downside of this of course is that it can come off as somewhat fake. xD

Again from personal experience, that same classmate who made the lowkey racist remark, she was good, she was on the debate team, was a honor student, knew how to mingle with people, but she downplayed herself way too much, while praising me but I honestly thought that she never really meant it from how she treated me. She wanted to keep me around her yet make backhanded compliments at me and she didn't want me socializing with my other classmate who is now my friend. *sigh* It was only after discussing this with one of my roomies did I realize how this 'excessive downplaying' might come off to people like me who more or less grew up with a more 'Westernized' mindset. I'm not saying brag about your achievements but don't be overly humble about them either, which can also be a turn off.

#20 We do tend to be a lot more realistic on how we view things, neither entirely optimistic nor pessimistic. We try to think of things practically and often analyze things on pure logic. A downside of this however, is that Chinese people can be overly practical. Taiwanese for instance don't like to 'find inconveniences' and generally keep to themselves, meaning, they won't help you in your hour of need even when they do have the capabilities. Sounds really harsh I know, but in my 6 years of living in Taiwan, while this doesn't apply to all the people, a lot of them really do only find/talk to you when they need something.

So for some people saying Taiwanese are 'friendly', that's BS xD If you ask me, Filipinos are infinitely more friendly, and again while not all, generally make more of an effort to help you when you need it. I really felt more of a real sense of community during my years growing up in the Philippines compared to Taiwan.

#21 Children do tend to stay with their parents well into college and adulthood, since Chinese families are indeed very family-oriented, in a lot of cases, grandparents often live under the same roof as us as well! And it really does save a lot of money. I see there's a real stigma in the US when it comes to "living with your parents", but that's starting to change especially because of Covid and having more and more people move back in with their parents.

Housing unfortunately is pretty much hella expensive no matter where you go, and Taiwan is no exception. Steep housing prices and the very high cost of raising a child (schooling + buxiban fees, etc.) contribute to a very low birth rate and thus an aging population like Japan. It's not uncommon to see both parents working in Taiwan.

#23 I'm an overthinker myself, but I totally agree with the author that the best is to strike a good balance between these two. Which I guess is why I love drawing or any other related creative attempts, it helps me be more spontaneous or well, creative! I like to remain intellectually or artistically inspired.

#24 Is French high school really like that? xD My friend did watch SKAM France and more or less got a culture shock from what was depicted on the show. I can confirm however that most high schools both in the Philippines and Taiwan require students to wear a uniform, only in college is everybody free to wear casual/civilian clothes.

#26 Ah this is part of our Asian gift-giving etiquette xD We always open gifts later after the event/meeting and in private. Never open them in front of the person who gave it to you or in front of others. This is to prevent any 'shame/embarrassment' that may result both to yourself and to the gift giver. I know this may come off as something weird since some people may want a more honest response or immediate feedback when it comes to gift-giving, but that's just how it is in our culture. You're always free to ask us though (in private) if we liked the gift or not ^^"

#28 I want to say the same goes to drinking, partying, and drugs however xD Those are things which are still frowned upon in our culture. And to be honest, whenever I see those in movies, it does kind of turn me off xD It doesn't mean that we're "uncool" or "boring", we just think that there are much better or healthier ways of "having fun".

#31 Is this true in France?! Man I would kind of prefer that instead of people being on their phones all the time xD This kind of goes with #20 in that Chinese are overly practical or logical, and don't read fiction as much as nonfiction. My Taiwanese friend is an exception though, she's a bibliophile who loves the feel of paper books compared to e-books, and it's a trait of her that I like a lot. Both the Philippines and Taiwan however have a huge fanbase when it comes to manga and anime though.

I'm all for reading outside of "designated reading" at schools especially. Reading fiction improves your vocabulary too, and can be quite fun! It helps you imagine and really invest in a world/story, and if you ask me something that I feel Westerners are better at, they're more in touch with their emotions and creativity, and are thus much more able to write compelling or original stories. Believe me, I've seen a fair amount of Chinese movies that rip off Western movie plotlines xD

#33 Nothing much to add on here..except that since I'm a "weird" person, Mom often jokes that she got the wrong baby from the hospital. xD

#35 True. While I agree with the care and concern that your fellow community can give you, the downside of this is we tend to only hang out with our own people, e.g Chinese with Chinese, Taiwanese with Taiwanese, etc. I've seen too that it's especially hard to make friends in Japan and Korea as a foreigner. Not only is there the language barrier, but the differences in culture too. In a way, Asians can be pretty close-minded on getting to know other cultures or actually making friends with people from other countries. I know this all too well being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, being neither "Filipino" enough nor "Taiwanese" enough. xD It's more of people here being too used to what they're comfortable with.

#36 Oh this is something I feel that Chinese students and other students from similar cultures should really improve on. xD How will people respect you if you don't speak your mind?

I felt bad especially for my Spanish teacher in college, granted it was an introductory course (Spanish I and II) but the amount of times that our teacher had to prompt a student to recite/speak even with clear hints already made her (and me too) extremely frustrated. The thing is, these are college students, I personally feel they don't have any reason to be so shy of speaking and technically by not doing so they're slowing the pace of the class too much and a lot of time is wasted.

Unfortunately you can't always be very vocal with your thoughts and opinions in most Asian cultures. I would say strive for that, but at the same time, play your cards well, especially if you're in a workplace setting.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading and here's a cookie! 🍪 I'm not perfect and there's bound to be something I missed so please let me know if you spotted anything wrong. Feedback/questions are very much welcome and please feel free to share about your country/culture's differences or similarities!

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jackdaw-kraai · 4 years ago

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path, they're not the only way to do things, and the fandom, from what i've seen, acts like the jedi are the "chosen ones" of the force, and i love that you're completely going against that and emphasizing what is shown in the films, that the jedi are just one path, that it's just one way to do things, and everyone can be selfless, everyone can do good, no matter how small you think it is, that good thing will have effects.

Yeah, I’ve noticed that a lot too in fandom. This mentality that it’s either the Jedi way or no way and that just... seems sad to me, in a way. Because in my eyes, it takes away so much from how truly special and unique the Jedi are in their way of being. Not as something that was inevitable and the only “right” way, but as something that, against all odds, developed and aged and expanded throughout the ages, creating a culture that is as fascinating as it is precious.

The Jedi, in my eyes, aren’t special and fascinating because they’re “right,” they’re fascinating and special simply because... they exist. And in their existence, you can trace the origins of who they are, how they developed, and how they try to connect with the world around them while attempting to better it in the terms they understand and live by. This isn’t a flawless, infallible method, but flawed in all the ways people are limited, and all the more beautiful and relatable for it.

The Jedi are, at heart, simply a group or ordinary, everyday people with a special gift that brings them together in trying to figure out a way to help people with it. In that aspect, they’re no different than a group of chemists coming together to try and apply their skills to developing a new medicine, or activists trying to raise funds for disaster relief. They’re simple, ordinary people who trained in a unique skill and try to help people as best they can with it, and I think to try and make into much more than that... almost does them a disservice.

Because yes, they are powerful mystics and—let’s call a spade a spade—sorcerers who seek to unravel the mysteries of the universe through meditation, study, and ritual, but then... so do physicist. So do astronomers. So do biologists. The Jedi may use a different field of study and have a strong spiritual connection to what they study, but so what? They would be far from the first people to have such a connection, and I doubt they will be the last.

No, what makes the Jedi precious and unique to me is that somewhere, thousands of years ago, a small band of people came together and said “we can do something extraordinary, and what we’re going to do with that gift, is try to understand it better so we can help people” and then they did! And they’re still doing it thousands of years later! That is what makes them so special to me, this legacy that somewhere, in the distant past, a band of people made the split decision to try to be good, and in doing so, created a path of life that dedicates it’s entire blip of time in this vast cosmos to learning, every day, to be good, and to be better.

Do they always succeed? No! They often fail, they falter, they get misdirected and do harm, both intentional and not. They doubt and despair and destroy. They stumble and slide backwards and stagnate. But despite all of that, all of it!

They keep on trying. They keep on learning. They keep developing and discovering and dedicating they short, finite lives to helping and trying to be good.

And that’s why I love the Jedi. Because these flawed, fascinating, limited, loving, precious, powerful people decided that despite all their failings, all their foibles and shortcomings and painfully deep flaws, they were going to find a way to help in the best way they knew how.

And they were going to try to be good.

Why, in the name of everything, would you tarnish something that beautifully imperfect with the curse of perfection? With the curse of being right? Why would you paint this tale of personhood in all its gorgeously tainted colors in the opaque shimmer of flawless gold? Why would you hold up a carnival mirror of absolutes to brush out all the bumps and bruises of something as incredible as a single culture, a blip of time and space, dedicating its small existence to trying to be better?

It seems so... small to do something like that to something so grand. To try to make any single culture or religion into a saint or savior. To try to make a tale of people into a tale of the absolute. To try to make the divine absolute, when it lives through people.

I love the Jedi. And as a writer, I can honestly think of no greater display of that love than to portray them in the light that I think brings out their best side: the light of people, flawed and fallible, who nonetheless did the greatest thing imaginable.

They tried.

And that is a tale I think we can all stand to hear.

#The Guides Verse

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clairecrive · 4 years ago

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“Burn” - Bane x reader [Requested]

A/N: this is for this anon. Thanks again for requesting! I missed writing for Bane.

Warnings: angst

Word count: 2.5K

Taglist: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @sopxhiea, @shadow-of-wonder, @fandom--0verdose, @fuseburner, @kind-wolf, @innerpaperexpertcloud (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

The vastity of the night sky had always helped y/n ease her worries. Surely, whatever was bothering her couldn’t be as big and impossible to solve as she was making it out to be. Because, would you look at that? The universe is so big and we’re so small, so insignificant. and that applied to her problems too.

At least that was what she always told herself whenever she’d feel lost and hopeless. Thinking this way helped her put things into perspective. And sure, not everything was as easily solved but, even in that case, it helped a bit.

And so here they were, she and Bane were laying down staring up at the starry sky. Sometimes, they would spend it in silence, just enjoying the warmth and comfort the other’s body would bring. Others, like this one, they would easily fall into conversations about everything and nothing.

“Was there someone special in your life? Someone you wish to get back to?”

“You mean, romantically?”

He nodded.

“No. Single for life.” She did a peace sign to lighten up her embarrassment but Bane was curious and did not pay it any mind.

“You mean to tell me that you’ve never given your heart to anyone?”

“Well, if you put it that way I have to change my answer to yes. Being in a relationship with someone and giving someone your heart are two wholly different things.”

“Let me rephrase then. Have you ever been in love?”

She really thought about the answer, her mind going back to any romantic involvement she might have had during her life. Even if she scouted her memories, she found that it wasn’t a yes or no question.

“I guess,” not only was the word she chose explicative of her indecision but the tentative tone of her voice left no doubts as to where she was standing. But Bane was confused, to say the least.

“I’ve always been under the impression that love was one of those things where absolute certainty was involved when it came to its presence or absence.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I have had mostly one-sided crushes, you know?” she started but Bane could see the faraway look in her eyes and knew that she had more to tell but was lacking the right words. So he waited.

“I said ‘I guess’ because I don’t really know what love is. I mean, everyone has a different take on it depending on their experiences but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it,” she paused turning to meet his eyes, “once there was a guy I strongly had feelings for. Even that was one-sided though and it took me a long time to recover from that because he was my best friend at the time. Looking back to it, I guess it was love or the closest thing to it that I’ve ever felt for someone. It hasn’t happened again though so I don’t have anything to compare it to.”

“Maybe it wasn’t love, just deep infatuation. Or maybe I just confused my love for him as a friend for something more. I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out when I fall in love with someone else. “ She concluded and refrained from correcting that when with if. she couldn’t see herself being as lucky as to have someone that cared about her and that loved her in the future. But Bane didn’t need to know that.

Turns out that those unspoken words had become a sort of oracle, ‘cause here they were now, years after they had that conversation. Just when she thought that she had found that one person to share her life with, to give her heart to, life quickly come into play letting her know that that wasn’t the case.

Because the man that had saved her from a destiny worse than death, who had given her hope and made her trust him to the point where she had felt safe enough to open up to him and allow him close to her heart, had now shattered whatever remained of it.

"So let me get this straight, first you save my life than you decide to keep me with you so you basically kidnap me, get me to fall in love with you, put me through an insanely difficult training so that I could stay with you but it was all done in vain because now you’re sending me away?"

"I'm not sending you away but you cannot stay here anymore. I’m doing this for you."

"And why is that? What changed?" and when Bane stayed silent she added, "what happened to 'I want you always' ?"

"I did not lie to you." His words were in striking contrast to the ones he had said before but y/n had learned to read him and could tell that this time he was not lying. But then the question naturally arises, what's really going on?

Nothing out of order had happened in the last few days. Bane and she had been the same as always, even his work had proceeded as usual. So what was it? What was she not thinking about? What was she not seeing?

Letting her mind go back through the last day to fat check that nothing happened, she went through their actions. Light breakfast together followed by a not so light tête à tête then they trained together until he had to deal with something for his work and she had occupied herself otherwise. She had called him to see when she could get dinner started and he said that he had a meeting with Talia first but had come right after. They had dinner and while they consumed their healthy and perfectly balanced meal she shared with him whatever came to her mind while he ate in silence. See, nothing out of order.

Wait a minute...

He went to meet Talia.

"It's her, isn't it?" Suddenly, everything was clear. She knew what had happened, what had changed. And she sneered at the pull Talia had on him. Suddenly, she understood but at the same time, the last year lost its meaning.

"I just wish I realized earlier that you didn't care about me as much as you said you did," turning she went to her cabinet to get her stuff, "I wouldn't have put myself through so much otherwise."

Nodding, she knew what she had to do. She had to leave. There was no reason to stay. Resolute and defeated she put everything her eyes fell on that was hers in a little bag. Clothes, lingerie, cosmetics, books. But when her eyes landed on the little box where she kept everything connected to him, her heart broke further and her anger was fueled.

In there, there was every present Bane ever gave her. Every little thing that made her think of him in some way. The letters he wrote her whenever spoken words failed him. She knew that going through its content would equal to a chronology of their relationship. If it was possible her heart broke even more. Everything she did to stay with him, everything he did to keep her now was all vain. She gave up so much for him, for a man. Her former self would be ashamed of her and knew that her heartbreak was contributing to making her feel something akin to that.

"Here," she said walking where he was standing, "take this. I don't want it anymore," and she threw it at his feet. The only acknowledgement on his part was a tilt of his head but it wasn't needed. He knew what it was and what she kept inside of it. He felt a pang in his heart but kept his face void of any emotion.

"I'll want you always," she said mocking his voice, still stuffing stuff in her bag and chuckled with mirth, "what a load of bullshit."

"Actually," stilling for a second, with a shirt cramped in her fist she faced him, "I am the biggest clown between us because I believed you." retrying her stuffing, shaking her head she added in a whisper, "I should have known better," but Bane heard.

As soon as he decided on this course of action, he had also prepared for her reaction. He knew her well and so far she hadn't done anything that he hadn't expected. And while he had been ready, he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He knew how she was looking at this situation, knew that his words had led her to believe it to be so. At the same time, a little part of him wished for her to oppose to his words, to see right through them and see that he was lying. That he had been honest when he had told her those things, he had opened up to her and meant everything. But knew that she was too lost to rage and hurt to think clearly. And it was also the reason why she was acting up and had thrown the box on the floor. He knew that she deeply cared about it and what it meant to her. He almost thought of offering some kind of comfort, to give her some hint about what was really going on. But knew that it would be unfair to her. After all, he was doing for the sake of her safety.

“You know,” her voice brought him back and his eyes were immediately drawn to her, “isn’t it funny how you man always pride yourselves to be strong and all that bullshit when even someone like you, who’s the epitome of masculinity and strength, at the end is totally subjected to a woman?”

They would always have this kind of conversation. Bane, being a leader of a huge army, had the tendency to be bossy. Even in situations when it wasn’t needed. It was just who he was and he felt the need to remind her of his alfa status an unnecessary lot of times. While she could enjoy this inclination of his when they were in bed, she definitely couldn’t stand it in their everyday life. And now, it made her feel stupid that she had to put with it and learn how to deal with it but when it came to Talia, he just did whatever she told him to. Also, this changed her consideration of him. What a clown. She had tried to warn him about his rather toxic relationship with Talia but he’d always get angry and dismiss the conversation either by leaving or shouting at her. She could remember their last fight about it like it was yesterday. It was also the first time that she had ever doubted her relationship with him. The first time that she had thought that maybe she had made a mistake by staying with him, by falling in love with him. Maybe she should have left as soon as she had rescued her. It wasn’t for the motive of their fight, neither her jealousy and worry about his relationship with Talia, but it had all to do with what he shouted her in rage that made her blood run cold and her heart shatter. For it was said that angry and drunk people were the more honest ones. And since that moment she couldn’t help but wonder if he really thought what he said to her or if it was just an impulse propelled by anger as he had explained.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have saved you.”

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he decided to twist the knife further.

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

As if one could choose who they fell for, she remembers thinking.

Those words still haunted her to this day. It happened a while ago and Bane had made it up to her, mostly. But it was in situations like this that they would come back and mock her for even forgiving him and thinking that he loved her as she loved him. To think that even a small part of him thought that it was best that he had left her to suffer in the hands of a sex abuser until he would have eventually tired of her and killed made her sick. How could anyone say something like that to another human being? One they presumedly loved? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Bane had then explained that by that he didn’t mean leaving her with her captor but simply bring her with him and keeping her with him. Despite the fact that his explanation made sense, y/n still didn’t think it made things better.

And as for his second statement, it went mostly unmentioned.

Sure, that had been something he had told her in the beginning. It was after her training required them to spend most of their days together since he wanted to attend to it personally. Y/n knew that being in the military and with his past, it wasn’t easy for Bane to show emotions let alone let someone close enough to him to allow himself to love them. She understood that. She had a few things she was dealing with that made it difficult for her to entertain the idea of something more between them.

But that was almost a year ago. So much had happened in their life and between them that even though the words were not spoken aloud, she felt the shift in both their behaviours when it came to them. Hell, they even started dating.

Not that any of them labelled it that way. But that was beside the point.

They slept together, they ate together every meal, they lived together. If there was a band on both their left ring fingers and it was a more conventional setting, people would assume they were married.

While y/n didn’t like thinking about what they had in that way, she surely considered the commitment they had made to each other equivalent to a marriage.

She hadn’t considered Talia though.

Or at least, she had hoped that if she ever would try and come between them, Bane would stand up for her.

Turns out that she really was foolish.

“Whatever, I guess it’s not my problem anymore.” Giving him her back again, she closed the almost full bag and went to put on some shoes and coat.

“I don’t have any use for it, you should take it with you.”

“Neither have I. Burn it, see if I care.”

And with that, y/n turned around and walked out of their shared apartment at last.

It hurt to say the words, it hurt that things had ended to abruptly, it hurt that even after all this time he didn’t care about her, it hurt like hell but y/n was resolute in leaving all of this behind her. Yes, it wasn’t going to be easy and maybe it would be like leaving a hot fire trail behind her but at one point the fire would burn out, wouldn’t t?

It may take a while but she would be okay,

#bane #bane dcu #bane imagine #bane x reader #bane imagines #bane one shot #bane angst #like super angst #mention of Talia #bane x oc #tom hardy bane #TDKR #tom hardy x reader #tom hardy imagines

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