#but instead of doing anything about it he blames his wife and hates her more

[woolandcoffee]

Finally reading Gone Girl and you know what, I woulda gone girled this man too.

[luveline]

i know you said hotch and reader baby requests… but what about hotch’s daughter that he met as an adult meeting Jack for the first time? two babies in one! love you 💕

—You meet your little brother, with your dad’s support. fem, 1.6k

To grow up wondering if your father might love you is odd. You spend years wondering if you’d ever know him. Would he be proud of you? Would he like you? If you could find him, would he want you to? 

And then you do find him, and you’re floored by how desperately he wants to take care of you. 

Honey, his message starts, sent at 5AM that morning. Just to remind you, dinner is at 5PM, but you don’t have to worry about being late. You can come whatever time you like, please let me know beforehand. Jack was so excited last night he couldn’t sleep.

Another sent at 5:16AM. I can’t wait for you to meet him. How are you feeling about it? If this is too much, you don’t have to. 

At 5:25AM. Please call me to talk when you’re awake, if you can. 

You think perhaps your father might be as nervous as you are to introduce you to his family. Because Aaron, your dad, has a wife and child. Haley, his high school sweetheart (though there had been that brief separation in college that allowed your existence), and Jack, his four year old son. 

This might be hard for everyone, but at least you aren’t destroying a family by existing. Aaron didn’t do anything wrong in getting your mother pregnant. He had no idea about it until you showed up at his office. 

You rub your tired eyes and decide against calling him right away. You have work soon, and he’s probably at his own place of work already. Instead, you make yourself a cup of tea and breakfast you can’t eat. Turns out you’re more nervous than you thought. 

You call him on your lunch break. 

He said you can call him whenever you want, just he’s busy, and can’t always answer. He also said you can call him whatever you want. It had been a strangely touching moment at one of your ‘catching up on a whole life’ dinners. Mr. Hotchner was extremely formal, and made him laugh every time you said it. Aaron was better, but you could call him dad, if you liked. The paternity test agreed. 

“Will that be weird for you?” you’d asked. 

“Honey, I’ve had someone calling me dad for the last four years. You can call me what you want.” 

Some part of you wished he insisted, but maybe it’s best the choice be down to you. 

“Hello?” he asks as he picks up. “Y/N?” 

The will to call him dad dies. It’s too awkward, what if he hates it? “Hello,” you say instead, stammering trying to sound natural. 

“Hi, honey. Are you still coming to dinner tonight?” 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it.” 

After an investigation and a mother’s confession, you found Aaron Hotchner online. Watched him behind podiums and sat at conference tables, even found his guest lecture at your university. It was a few years before you’d attended, but you can’t help thinking: what if you’d watched him talk? Would you have known he was your father? Of course, you couldn’t know. But maybe he would have. 

Aaron took one good look at you in his office and believed you. Well, you had a photo of him and your mom, and you offered to take a paternity test then and there, but he told you he knew pretty quickly.

“You okay?” 

“Just terrified,” you say. 

“Haley… Haley isn’t mad at anyone. She has,” —he clears his throat— “a very tight picture of her life in her head, and her husband having a child without her wasn’t in that picture, but she also has a really big heart. I promise you have nothing to worry about.” 

“It’s not Haley I’m scared of.” 

“Honey, Jack can’t stop telling people he has a new sister. People keep giving Haley congratulations.” 

You rub your eyes. You’ll be surprised if your makeup survives the day. “Are you sure you even want me to come?” 

“I want you more than anything.” 

Which doesn’t answer the question you’d voiced, but reassures the one you’d been thinking. “I just wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want me to. I can’t imagine how terrible this has been for you. I’ve disrupted your whole life.” 

“Is that what you think?” he asks gently. 

You can imagine him sitting at his desk. His office was roomy, with heavy furniture, big windows, and a gaggle of photo frames on the desk. He is intimidating, but he doesn’t talk to you with any meanness, or sternness. He’s been careful with you this whole time, so no, you’ve no reason to think he doesn’t want you around, but maybe he’s too good a man to admit it. 

“If it’s too much for now, we can wait,” he says. “We have all the time in the world. But I promise it won’t be what you’re thinking. You certainly aren’t disrupting my life.” 

You decide to be brave about it and go to dinner. Only when you’re standing on the Hotchner porch do you remember he’d wanted to talk to you about something. He opens the door quietly, ushering you in with a smile, and before you know it he’s offering a hug in the small foyer. 

“Hi,” he says, patting your back. Your hands rest tentatively on his sides. 

“Hi.” 

He holds you at arm’s length before dropping his touch. “You look pretty,” he says. 

Which is a whole other category of thing. “Thank you. Is this the sort of thing you wear to dinner?” 

“You can wear pyjamas, if you like. Jack usually does.”

“That would make a good first impression.” 

Haley appears from a doorway. “Oh, you’re here,” she says, smiling. “Hello, hello!” 

You get another hug. Haley smells like expensive perfume and softness. Her hair is perfect. She’s one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen, and it’s emphasised by her glowing smile. “Jack is bouncing off the walls, but he might get a little shy when he really gets to meet you.” Her smile softens. “Wow. You don’t look much like him, but you have his frown. How’s that possible?” She nudges Aaron. “You’re so moody it’s in your DNA.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m just nervous,” you explain. 

“Me too,” Haley says. 

“It’ll be okay.” Aaron gives Haley a squeeze around the shoulders. “He’s in the living room. Are you ready?” 

“Maybe she should go in by herself.” 

You and Aaron both stare at Haley. 

“I should?” you ask. 

She shrugs. “It’s not like we’re going anywhere. But maybe Aaron can introduce you and then bow out. It’s less pressure on both of you.” 

You honestly couldn’t agree less with her, and Aaron’s giving her a dubious frown, but she’s Jack’s mom and your dad’s wife and you’re too scared of upsetting her to disagree. 

Aaron, however, isn’t worried. “You don’t have to,” he says, giving Haley a rub on her shoulder, “it’s just a suggestion.” 

“It’s okay. Um, whatever you guys think is best.” 

So Aaron opens the living room door and walks you in. 

Jack is drawing a bright picture on the floor, surrounded by a spread of crayons and washable markers. He has a huge sketch pad, where light from the TV stains the white with cartoon colours.

“Jack.” Aaron touches the back of your arm. “Bud, Y/N’s here for dinner.” 

Jack whirls. As predicted, he sees you and his smile turns to shyness. You’re feeling shy, too, tempted to hide behind Aaron’s arm, but stepping forward when he prompts you to. 

“Hi, Jack,” you say. 

“Hi,” he says, lookin at Aaron. 

“This is your big sister,” Aaron says. 

Because Jack is your little brother. Half brother, but brother. You weren’t expecting to feel so awed. 

You step out of your heels, you should’ve at the door, and use the armrest of the couch to lower yourself onto your knees. You just wanna see him. 

He’s quite big, for his age. He’s tall. He has brown hair with slightly blond ends, and his eyes are big, flush with dark lashes. You have some of the same DNA, but you’re not sure you could tell with the two of you side by side. 

“You look like your mommy,” you say. 

“You don’t,” Jack says. 

“I look more like my mommy.” You smile at him. “It’s nice to meet you, Jack.” 

“You don’t look like a sister,” Jack says. “You’re old.” 

“I’m not that old.” 

Aaron laughs and touches your shoulder again. It’s nice to think he’s standing by. 

“I… I can still do big sister stuff, even if I’m old,” you hedge gently. “I can still do fun stuff, I swear. I’m super fun.” 

Jack pulls himself on knees to sit very close to you. He takes the skirt of your dress into his hand and pets it. “What if we ruin your dress?” he says worriedly. 

“I have so many like this, it’s okay.” 

His smile warms. “Okay. You want to colour with me?” 

“Yes, yeah, I do. I really want to, what can we colour?” 

“I’ll draw you a picture.” 

You look up at Aaron with a smile that threatens to set with the wind. You’d be stuck like that, grinning with a mixture of relief, pride, and affection. 

“I’m gonna go help Haley set the table,” he tells you. You’re probably wanting more than he’s giving, but you swear, he talks with love. “Okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay, dad,” Jack says, taking your hand to pull you to the crayons. “We’re gonna colour now.” 

“Okay, buddy. Draw me something nice.” 

[auspicioustidings]

Based on this. You are in Finland full of self-loathing and the 141 needs a fat wife if they want to win some beer.

You aren't exactly on holiday in Finland. It should be your honeymoon but since you caught your groom balls deep in your maid of honour you instead have used it as an escape from the country. You just cannot be around the people you love right now, can't have them all look at you with all that pity. Even worse is that some of them probably don't even blame him. Your former best friend is a size 8, perfect hourglass figure. Your former partner is trim and decently fit. They look like they belong together more than you and him ever did.

You hate yourself. You hate looking in the mirror. You hate how clothes fit you. You deserved it you think.

"Not a chance MacTavish, that's my wife!"

"Away and biel yer heid, I saw her first!"

"Actually I saw her first!"

"I outrank all of you muppets so I think you'll find that is my wife!"

It's a racket in the little cafe but you don't pay much mind, still just staring out the window and wondering if you could ever deserve anything. One of the servers comes to take your empty cup and grins at you, telling you in her heavy accent that she would personally go for the one with the mask since he's the biggest. You don't understand when you look around and there are a lot of locals smiling happily over at you while four Greek Gods of men are having a scuffle, moving slowly in your direction. More people chip in, arguing about who you should pick, some lamenting that they would claim you themselves if they thought they could.

One big man does try, basically some Viking God, but he's playfully (you hope it's playful) spear tackled by the man with the mohawk before he laughs and backs off.

When Gaz with warmed cheeks and excitement in his eyes gets to you while Soap is busy with the viking and Ghost and Price are wrestling one another he asks if you'd do him the honour of being his wife. You nearly choke, but he explains that the wife carrying competition is today. You look around, bewildered, ask him why he wouldn't pick any of the other women in here given that they are all gorgeous slim things.

"Fuck all use to us, need a nice soft bird with lots of fat" says the man in the mask.

Price scowls and whacks his lieutenant upside the head because he sees how you look a second away from crying.

"You're gorgeous sweetheart, he didn't mean anything by it. The prize is the wife's weight in beer though, so he's right about a little lady not being much use."

You don't know what to say. You don't know if this is mortifying or not given that everyone around you seems to not be looking at you with sneers or laughing at you, but instead looking with soft smiles that convey fondness. They think this is adorable.

"Dinnae listen tae their nice soft birds and sweethearts! I'll be a better husband bonnie. I'm shorter aye bit look at the power in these legs, naw going tae drop ye. And I'll split that beer 50/50!"

And then they're arguing. The four of them are arguing and trying to put forward a case to you about why they would be the best husband. When it starts to get raunchy, you fluster and stop them. But fluster is something. It's not self loathing. It's been weeks since you felt anything but self loathing. So even though you are sure everyone can feel the heat rolling off of you in waves at how bashful you are under so much attention from such attractive men, you pick one (the others are devastated but vow that you're only a wife for the competition, that after they should get another shot at convincing you that they're the best option).

And they do. Even though the man you picked doesn't win (gets DQ'd actually since you are heavy and he decided that you were getting over that damn finish line so the four of them took turns) they take you out for drinks after. You think you feel humiliated that they couldn't carry you a long distance, but you don't have time to sit with the feeling because they drown it out with how warm and giddy they make you feel.

They insist that they will compete next year, so you have 365 days to pick a husband. When you make a quiet comment about how you'll lose weight by then so they can carry you the whole way, they nearly riot as they assure you that they would be a shit pick for husband if they didn't spent the year getting stronger so they can carry you just how you are. Plus they'll not be losing any beer thank you very much.

By the time the next wife carrying competition rolls around you are a different person. You're wearing clothes that fit instead of trying to hide your body. You laugh and flirt back with the barista instead of assuming they are making fun of you by flirting. And you don't care if your husband makes it over the finish line, just that you have fun and laugh and joke about the attempt. Of course it's not entirely certain who that husband is yet, got to keep them on their toes after all.

[thats-godscomma]

Since rewatching Psych, I've been thinking about how weird and arbitrary Shawn's interests are. Sure, late 2000's writing had something to do with it, and maybe a bit of Henry and Gus's influence, but hearing Shawn be so vocal about how he hates certain popular things or (more importantly) refuses to give them a chance BUT at the same time knowing so many pop culture references, it got me thinking.

What if the reason Shawn has so many pop culture references on hand is because of his eidetic memory, and he doesn't actually have as much of an interest in pop culture? Throughout the show, he actively avoids getting roped into big interests and franchises (see: comic books, soap operas, etc.) despite the fact that he genuinely seems excited once he's part of it. In fact, we don't get to see a lot of Shawn's interests at all unless it's based on an idea.

Take being a bounty hunter, for example. According to him, he's obsessed with the idea, but he doesn't make many references to an actual bounty hunter show or franchise. Instead, he just remembers the one bounty hunter he saw as a child and maybe references a movie or two. Because once he remembers something, he's never going to forget it, or at least not for a very long time.

That's why he thinks in references. Everything is a reference if you have a good enough memory. Everything reminds you of something. If Shawn hears someone make a Spock reference, it's in his repertoire forever. But he wouldn't be caught dead watching the shows or movies because that's just too much information. Why on earth would he endure that?

Of course, it also intertwines with his ADHD. He has bouts of energy and trouble focusing. He can't sit still to save his life, and he hyperfixates...or he would if his memory didn't make him averse to it. So if he doesn't want to hyperfixate on an information-based interest, then what does he hyperfixate on? Physical activities. Instead of learning about his favorite daredevil, he tries to be one himself. When he learns about oil rigs, he doesn't get a book from the library. He tries to find oil in his backyard.

This is also where he and Henry differ regarding Shawn's "potential." Henry is correct when he talks about Shawn's "wasted" potential, but he doesn't understand the toil of having this eidetic memory and ADHD. Here's what I think happened: Henry probably noticed Shawn's stellar memory at a young age, realized he has a gift, spoke with his wife about her eidetic memory, learned that you need to challenge your child's eidetic memory at a young age or it'll go away, started the hat game to make it fun and exciting, but then Shawn's ADHD appeared. Suddenly, it made him much harder to raise (because let's be real, Shawn was not an easy child.) Henry didn't know what he was doing anymore, and since it was the 80's, he didn't have the resources to properly understand his kid's behavior, so he tried to find a common interest, and started training Shawn to be a detective "because kids love cop shows." But Shawn struggled to stay attached to one single interest, and when he grew up, he stopped trying to articulate his problems because his mom (the only person who remotely understood his struggles) left, and he blamed his dad for it.

And academics? Those are a joke because what is the point of studying if he already remembers everything? Until, of course, he needs to apply it to a problem-solving test or writing an essay. Suddenly, he's memorizing a math teacher's answer sheet and copying Gus's report.

Yes, Shawn could have been a great cop. He could be an amazing scientist or anything really. He could have been a national spelling bee champion like Gus wanted to be. Even 15 years later, Shawn remembered exactly what word Gus messed up, how to spell the word, and what letter he made Gus slip up, but he didn't want to be on that stage with Gus because that requires so much learning. And so much time. And so much memorizing. And he refuses to sit still for that long when he knows that overloading his head is going to give him migraines.

Also his "I've heard it both ways" probably comes from the fact that people with eidetic memory can still make lots of mistakes if they don't actively commit something to memory. If Shawn only overhears something, he'll still naturally try to fill in the gaps like everyone else, but because he's so confident in his memory, he just believes what he remembers to be true, leading him to repeat incorrect information with confidence. That could also be why some of his references are incorrect due to mixed-up homophones.

Anyway, this post was supposed to be about how Shawn is just a walking movie reference because his memory won't let him forget quotes, but then I fell into a rabbit hole of the negative effects of having an eidetic memory as a child, and I am very passionate about how Henry actually tried his best, and people need to stop calling him a horrible parent. Love y'all. Let me know what you think.

[morphean42]

Rewatching Falsettos I was suddenly struck by an epiphany that I’m sure someone else has had at some point, but I needed to write out. This ending scene from “March of the Falsettos” jumped out at me from the first watching, but even though I recognised the nod to the “See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil (and lesser known do no evil)”, I didn’t know what it meant. Today, I tried to piece it together, and I think I’ve gotten it. These poses represent core attributes of the characters, as well as Trina’s view of them, so click the read more to hear the ravings of a mad man wayyyyyy too obsessed with this show

The idea of ‘evil’ to me is very loose. It can represent a lot of things for these characters; their actions towards each other, their character flaws, etc. But, for this analysis, one can replace ‘evil’ with ‘truth’. Each of the characters refuses to see, speak, hear, or ‘do’ the truth (please excuse the lack of grammar for that last one), and that is where the ‘evil’ stems from. Taking into account this is mostly based on Trina’s view of the men, I think ‘truth’ fits in well.

Let’s start with the one who fits in least— Jason. “March of the Falsettos” is a physical manifestation of how Trina views the men in her life (as childish and immature), but some slack is given to her son. He doesn’t sing his lines in falsetto, because we acknowledge he is in fact a child, and has more of an excuse to act as such. So, take his analysis with a grain of salt. The boy has every right to be a little selfish— he’s 10.

So, Jason has his hands over his eyes, representing ‘See No Evil’. This is a direct nod to his character flaw; his view of the world with him at the center. Although his parents are less than good to him, he still sees them through unfair lenses— ‘My mother’s no wife/My father’s no man’. He sings ‘everybody’s yelling and everybody’s ruining it’ in “Everyone Hates His Parents” because he is unhappy with how his Bar Mitzvah is turning out and wants to simply cancel it. He doesn’t have a concept of doing things for other people (again, he’s a child, I’m not blaming him per se), so he is blind to the will of others and refuses to see their side. In addition to this, even when Mendel tells him Whizzer will most likely die, Jason pleads with G-d to save him. He still views himself as the center of his world, thus Mendel’s line ‘Life’s not all about him’.

In addition to this, his ‘See No Evil’ means something when thought about from Trina’s perspective. She thinks her son is blind to the truth of the world, this son who stays inside playing chess alone, this son who ‘seems like an idiot to [Trina]’. She worries Jason will turn out like these other men in her world, blind to everyone but himself.

Now we come to Mendel, who has his hand over his mouth in ‘Speak No Evil’. Mendel’s flaw throughout the show is his refusal to accept the truth of any situation. He tells Jason to ‘feel alright for the rest of your life’ instead of actually trying to help, he is ‘frightened of questions’, he repeats over and over ‘I’ll make you well’ to Whizzer in the hospital. He will never say anything negative, nor will he allow others to do so. Even in the end of the show, he tells Jason they don’t know ‘when or if’ Whizzer will get better— he is still not accepting that it’s a definite thing. He believes that if he and those around him just don’t speak about the real problems, they’ll go away.

Trina’s view on Mendel is complicated here. In the next song she agrees to marry him, of course, and we know she at least likes him (the most of all three adults she knows). She says that Mendel ‘decides the role to assume’. She looks down on the fact that he can’t speak the truth to her, that he’s expecting this happy wife, this perfect new family. He wants her to play along with him and make their home together, even if she sings ‘liking our lives’ instead of loving. Even if he’s better than Marvin ever was, there’s still an element of control here. Mendel wants this family, and he wants them to all pretend nothing is ever wrong again.

Marvin, our titular character, is in the ‘Hear No Evil’ position. This one is fairly straight forward— he wants control and will never listen to the needs of those around him. He can’t hear what they actually need, he simply does what he wants. He also struggles with his masculinity throughout Act 1, his outward misogyny and need for the nuclear family (his treatment of Trina and Whizzer), so he imagines himself at the top of his family system. He will never take any other opinions, or counsel, in his decisions, seeing that as weakness. He’s similar to Jason in this regard, as he only hears what he wants to (like Jason only sees what he wants). He ignores the pain around him to pursue his own desires, he covers his ears and moves on.

Trina, of course, despises Marvin at this point in the show. Her subconscious showing Marvin in ‘Hear No Evil’ can tell us a lot about their relationship, how she was never seen as equal in decisions. Marvin always put her to the side, not listening to her needs, acting without thinking of her.

Whizzer is complicated. I’ve seen people laugh at his pose before, saying we’ve got ‘See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, and Gay’, but I think he represents the ‘Do No Evil’. This final character is not often seen with the other three, and can be depicted with arms over the chest or covering the genitals. It wouldn’t make sense to have Whizzer be the outlier (especially because the fourth depiction of evil does exist), so I’m assuming he is supposed to be ‘Do No Evil’.

This fits in well with Whizzer’s flaws throughout the show. He doesn’t accept responsibility for his relationship with Marvin; seen in the lines ‘I’m not responsible’ during “Late For Dinner” or ‘I will not accept blame’ in “Games I Play”. He sleeps around, despite Marvin wanting monogamy, and clearly did not have an issue hooking up with a married man. Whizzer fundamentally doesn’t think his actions have consequences, he believes he has done nothing wrong (he has done no evil). Whizzer also has a hard time admitting to his love for Marvin. He says it ‘depends on the day’, he flat out says ‘no’ when asked if he loves him. He doesn’t want to show his love for fear of being too vulnerable, so he hides and doesn’t do anything about it.

To take this even further, him being ‘Do No Evil’ can represent his later question of ‘why me of all men’ when he is dying. He hasn’t done anything to deserve his death, and ‘all men get what they deserve’, right?

Moving on to how Trina sees Whizzer. He’s come into her life and ruined her marriage, though she ‘wants to hate him’ she can’t. She views him as the cause of her recent hardships, his actions being to blame. He is ‘Do No Evil’ to her because he has done evil in taking Marvin away (though it is obvious Trina is better off because of it). He has upset the careful balance of her world by breaking down the lies of her marriage and exposing the truth— Marvin never loved her, could never love her. She puts him in ‘Do No Evil’ because what he has done is what the rest of the men won’t— see, hear, speak the truth even at the detriment of her family.

Another way to view this is, of course, the fact that ‘Do No Evil’ is rarely seen with the others. Trina is separating Whizzer from the other men, not putting him in the same category as the rest of the ‘family’. He views himself as an outsider as well, yes he’s part of the group, but only as a technicality. Only as Marvin’s lover. Once he leaves Marvin, he is easily taken out of the equation and the remaining three do not feel the loss.

My conclusion is such: Each of the poses our men do represents the character flaw they must overcome throughout the show, as well as how Trina views them in her mind. I really hope this made any sort of sense, and if someone has already said all of this well… I guess it can’t hurt to be thorough.

I’m way too tired to read through this again so if there are spelling mistakes please print out this post, correct it in red pen, and send it to me by carrier pigeon.

[phoward89]

Masterlist

WARNING ⚠️: Coryo is his own warning in and of himself. Delusional!Coryo, Soft!Dark!Coryo, Soft!Dom!Coryo, Reader has some survival instincts, Reader knows keeping Coryo happy keeps her alive and well, cussing, possession, obsession, slight manipulation, threats of harm, threats of rape, threats of violation, choking, murder threats

Chapter 7:

Coriolanus has been on Peacekeeper duty for the last 3 days. It sucks because Sejanus isn't with him. Instead he's doing his medic training at the infirmary with the Matron, leaving Coriolanus to do street patrols on his own.

But today he's on watch duty at the Peacekeeper Uniform Factory. His partner’s some grunt he’s barely even talked to. Honestly, he doesn't care to get to know the grunt since he's not sticking around much longer.

Coriolanus is taking his Elite Officer's Exam tomorrow; he knows he'll pass with flying colors. He can't wait to get you out of 8, to be able to claim you as his wife on legal documents and paperwork. Coriolanus sent a letter to Pluribus Bell about your father and one to Strabo Plinth as well, so he's hoping to receive some responses with some advice on how to move forward with inquiring about the asset law of Colonel Javanis Halvir for you.

Coriolanus grappled with the idea of writing to Dr. Gaul, but then decided against it. The woman, after all, was a bit crazy and had planned on killing all of the leftover tributes in the arena with her rainbow snakes; if he didn't cheat then there wouldn't have been a victor for the 10th Hunger Games. So, he decided not to contact Dr. Gaul. God forbid the woman wants you to return to the Capitol, to be rescued from your abandonment in the Districts for so long.

Yea…

Coriolanus isn't giving you up for anything. You're his wife; that makes you his responsibility. He's your protector since you're now Mrs. Snow. That gives him power; no one's going to take that away from him.

Coriolanus is dressed in his denim fatigues, his lanky frame leaning against the concrete wall as he keeps an eye on the women and teenagers that're working the loom machines. His icy blue eyes have been staring a hole into your once sister-in-law’s head, but that's mostly because she keeps giving him nasty looks. But that's fine with him; not like he cares what she thinks about him anyways.

In fact he hates Ashlie for abandoning you in a strange place; for being the cause of you to stoop down so low to stealing- to getting punished by the lash.

Yes!

Coryo has the audacity to shoulder the entire blame of your whipping onto your once sister-in-law. He refuses to take responsibility for it. He ‘loves’ you (more like he's head over heels obsessed with you) and refuses to believe that his greed and overwhelming need to impress his superiors hurt you in any way.

Plus you love him and married him. If he hurt you why would you have done that?

Yea…

Private Snow’s thick skull doesn't grasp that you latched onto him for pure survival- got somewhat of a Stockholm syndrome going on with him. Can't bite the hand that feeds you, eh?

Eh…Coriolanus feels like he's in for a long day. It's not even noon yet and he's already ready to take a break. And he can't help, but to wonder how your day’s going so far.

Ah, to be young, in love, and a newlywed.

You're making yourself a simple sandwich for lunch whenever a knock sounds at your door. You're not expecting anybody, so you're a little taken aback. Your husband's at work until the evening and you don't really have any friends in 8.

So, tentatively, you approach the door and open it. Standing before you is a postal worker, but not just any postal worker- one with a Peacekeeper postal uniform on. On the ground by their feet’s a large wooden crate.

What the?...

“I have a delivery for a Coriolanus Snow and a Y/N Snow? Are one of them present to sign for the package?” The postal worker asks, holding a clipboard with an attached pen.

You simply answer the postal worker with, “I'm Y/N Snow.”

Without a word, the Peacekeeper postal worker hands you the clipboard; which you take and sign your name on in the required spot before handing it back.

“Have a nice day, Ma’am.” The postal worker tips their hat at you before walking down the hall; leaving you alone with the crate.

You picked up the crate, which wasn't too heavy, and brought it into the house. Once you set it down, you read the return label. The name on it was The Plinths. You quickly realized that Sejanus' family sent Coriolanus something. You knew that they're friends from the Academy in the Capitol that joined the Peacekeepers together.

Well, it's nice that they sent your husband something.

But then you remember that the postal worker had said the package was for Coriolanus and Y/N Snow. Oh boy, so did they send you something in the crate too? And how did they know that Coriolanus got married? You've only been married for 3 days. Did they just assume or did Sejanus get a hold of his parents and tell them. How fast does Peacekeeper mail travel?

They say curiosity killed the cat, but it didn't kill you.

You opened the crate, with the help of a bottle opener that you used to pry the wooden lid off, and saw that inside of the crate was a few wrapped packages and a tin. Oh, so the Plinths sent Christmas presents. That's very nice of them.

You take the packages and the tin out, only to place them on them on the kitchen table. Then you realize that you don't have a Christmas tree to place the presents under. You'll have to talk to Your husband about it when Coryo gets home.

During the factory’s lunch break Coriolanus is stuck watching the workers gather in a breakroom while waiting for his relief to come. His partner's relief showed up, but not Private Snow's. Talk about shit luck.

So, Coriolanus stands up straight in the break room, watching over the factory workers with some scurvy looking Peacekeeper a few yards away from him.

Coriolanus narrows his icy eyes as he watches Ashlie shake her head at her co-worker and stand up from her lunch table. What's she up to?

“Why's she heading over here?” The scurvy Peacekeeper asked Coriolanus.

“She knows my wife.” Was Coriolanus’ curt answer.

“You got a wife?” The Peacekeeper by the platinum um blonde asked, his brow skewed up curiously.

“By District 8 rituals, yea.” Coriolanus nodded. “I got a wife.”

“You know that ain't allowed. Better keep it a secret.”

“You gonna tell on me?” Private Snow asked, his face stony, as he looked the scurvy guy next to him in the eye.

“No.” The Peacekeeper next to Coriolanus shook his head. “I don't care what you do, but there's some people that would sell that kind of information to further themselves.”

Little did the scurvy Peacekeeper know that Coriolanus is one of those people who'll sell out somebody for the upper hand; to get ahead.

“I need to talk to you.” Ashlie told Coriolanus as she came to a stop right in front of him. Looking between your husband and his fellow peacekeeper, she added in, “Privately.”

“Fine.” Coriolanus told her. “I'll be in the hall with her; I won't be long.” He told the peacekeeper before turning and leading your once sister-in-law out into the hallway.

Once in the hallway, he sneered, “What's so important that a whore like you had to seek me out for?”

“One of the girls says that she saw you in the market the other day buying supplies for a handfasting.” Ashlie's eyes welled up with sorrow as she begged, “Please, tell me you didn't marry my sister.”

“Y/N’s not your sister. Her dead brother was your meal ticket, but that doesn't make her your sister.” Coriolanus coldly told the factory worker. “In fact, she's shit to you since you abandoned her shortly after dragging her here.” Towering over Ashlie, like a predator tower's over their prey before they strike, he condescendingly said, “You're such a good ‘sister’ that my darling rose has to stoop so low to resort to stealing to feed herself. If I wasn't there to witness her whipping; to carry her home and tens to her then who knows what shape she'd be in right now.”

Ashlie’s eyes blazed hatefully as she looked up at Coriolanus. “I’m going to do anything I have to get Y/N to see the light and leave you. You filthy Capitol blooded peacekeeper.”

Shoving the thin brunette girl against the wall, Coriolanus wraps his large, calloused hand around her throat. Pressing his thumb, hard, into her windpipe he hatefully threatens in a snake like hiss, “You stay the fuck away from my wife, you ratty lil whore, or else I'll fuck that pussy of yours up and pass you around the barracks to let my squad take turns with you before snapping your neck and tossing you into that sludge filled river.” A managing look crossed over his face as he toyed with the girl who's life he literally had in his hand. “What's it called again? That's right, the Cuyahoga River.”

Ashlie couldn't breath, all she could do was let out high pitched wheezes. She frantically clawed at your husband's hand, desperate to breath since he was choking her.

“Stop your dramatics, you stupid whore.” Coriolanus commanded harshly before letting Ashlie's neck go.

She gasped desperately for air, her lungs aching for oxygen to give them their substance, as he knees buckled. Ashlie slid against the wall, watching as Private Snow- your cold and cruel husband- walked back into the factory's break room as if nothing has happened. As if he just didn't nearly kill her; threaten violent things against her.

Ashlie's off tomorrow and, even tho sh was threaten by Coriolanus, she's determined to get you to leave him. So, she's going to be paying you a visit.

A visit that'll prove to be her last once your husband hears about it.

Tags: @kuroosbby001 @purriteen @poppyflower-22 @meetmeatyourworst @whipwhoops @bxtchopolis @readingthingsonhere @savagenctzen @ryswritingrecord @erikasurfer @tulips2715 @universal-s1ut @thesmutconnoisseur @squidscottjeans @sudek4l @wearemadeofstardust0 @mashiromochi @gracieroxzy @belcalis9503 @shari-berri @aoi-targaryen @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons @qoopeeya @mfnqueen1 @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @v-love @swiftieblyth @joyfulyouthlover @harvey-malfoy @chxrrybomb22 @marvel-hiddles-stark @xjinnix @devils-blackrose @zombicupcake3 @jacesvelaryons @tempt-ress

[hopeluna]

!! Fic Recs

Most of these are long fics or series and some of these are 18+ so be aware? But anyways, enjoy these works from absolute writing angels <33

Jujutsu Kaisen

Symptoms & Causes by @lostfracturess

Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: he's arrogant, self-centered, and he's your professor. renowned for his brilliance in neurosurgery and infamous for his allure. too bad you have to work with him on this research team. now you're stuck with dr. satoru gojo, delving into the complexities of both the brain and the heart—and of how far you'd go for a love that could destroy not only him but you as well.

Love Entries by @chuluoyi

Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: series of episodes of your life with the strongest sorcerer throughout the past and present

men are so quick to blame the gods by @awearywritersworld

Sukuna x reader

Synopsis: your boyfriend is a heavy sleeper, leaving you to form an unlikely relationship with the curse occupying his body during the late hours of the night.

wanna be yours by @nezuscribe

Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: you find yourself in a marriage that you never wanted in the first place. your husband seems to hate you and you begin to wonder if anything you used to think of him was even true. who would have though a marriage to gojo satoru would be so difficult?

his kiss, the riot by @nezuscribe

Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: the king has been struck by never-ending grief when he found out about his wife's infidelity. he has her ordered to be killed, but afterward, he is no longer the same. every night he marries a woman, and every morning he has her killed. the endless cycle continues until the night you're chosen to be his wife. instead of letting him ruin you, you tell him a story. you tell him a story that he just has to know the ending to. and so begins the story of one thousand and one arabian nights.

i'd crawl home to her by @likelilacwine

Geto Suguru x reader

Summary: the god of the underworld brings his most valued prize home at the risk of tearing the realm itself apart.

Boku No Hero Academia

@andypantsx3

Yes, her entire blog. Pls each and every series of her is god send. I cannot reccomend this to you enough!!

pretty white dress by @gaybybirth

Dabi x reader

Synopsis: You're shelving books like normal at work when a new face comes into the store. And in a small town where everyone knows each other, a new face really stands out. Especially when it's one that makes you burn in ways you never have.

FILL MY LITTLE WORLD (RIGHT UP) by @shibaraki

Aizawa Shouta x reader

Synopsis: you are employed by aizawa shouta to nanny for his vulnerable adoptive daughter eri while he’s at work. as time passes you find yourself equally smitten with them both, longing for a more permanent place in their family.

please save me by @hitoshiyoshi

Platonic!young!shimura tenko x reader

Synopsis: you save shimura tenko

Stranger Things

Not Wholly Evil by @uglypastels

Eddie Munson x reader

Synopsis: as the daughter of the Governor, there is quite a heavy prize set on your safe return home, and the captain will not let anything come between him and his bounty.

As you wish by @corroded-hellfire

Eddie Munson x reader

Synopsis: When Eddie isn’t appreciated like he should be, his babysitter feels the need to step in and comfort him.

Living After Midnight by @munson-blurbs

Eddie Munson x reader

Synopsis: Being a perpetual people-pleaser meant that you were constantly putting others before yourself--particularly your parents and the eccentric guests who stayed at their motel. But when a surly and mysterious musician checked in indefinitely, he flipped your whole world on its head.

Please do tell me if you want to be removed from this for whatever reason!!

[anonymooseforever007]

Ring Around the Roses

(Alfie Solomons x female reader)

Summary: Attempting to get away from the Shelby party chaos, Alfie and his wife sneak off into Tommy's garden for a little fun. It isn't until the next morning they discover the consequences of their actions and Alfie has to remind his wife what their marriage is really about.

A/N-Hi Y'all! Possible TW's for only the end of this include Mentions of death, Unhealthy coping habits and self blame! Also this is for K's (@runnning-outof-time) 3K celebration! Congratulations you're amazing and I love seeing you on here❤️❤️❤️ I hope you like this! I haven't done a celebration before really but I saw your theme and the idea spring into my head. Despite the warnings it's mostly fluffy until the time skip! Also there's one part that implies smut but none actually written! Enjoy ❤️

WC- 6.6k

Main Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure we can do this out here?"

"Do what dovey? I'm just taking a nice little stroll with my darling wife aren't I? Letting her get a quiet break from all those heathens inside."

You scoffed, knocking into your husband's side gently as the pair of you walked through the garden. For a man who seemed particularly fond of dark colours, Thomas Shelby's garden was particularly vibrant. 

"Oh hush, you only call them heathens because you're too scared to use the word friend."

"FRIEND!" Alfie scoffed while kicking at a particularly beautifully tulip that just happened to be nearby, just to prove his point. "No no no Dovey, THEY are not my friends, yeah. If I were to pick anyone to be my friend it certainly would not be ANY of them." 

You only rolled your eyes and shot a knowing smirk in his direction. For all your husband's spite and trickery, you knew he really did have a soft spot for the Shelby family.

"Alright love, I believe ya. That's absolutely why you immediately declined the invitation to come here tonight isn't it. Burned it in the fireplace correct? Told me not to put it in the calendar? Because you don't have plans at being anything other than vicious enemies is that right? The pie I brought tonight was a death threat wasn't it? Did you slip in some arsenic into the powdered sugar?"

Rolling his eyes at your teasing, Alfie couldn't help but smile as he watched you laugh at your own joke. Continuing your path through the garden you mindlessly reached back a hand for your husband a few steps behind. A clear indication of what you wanted. What you always wanted. Slipping his hand between yours, he let you drag him through the bushes, further from the party. With each step he could see you relax a bit more, as you enjoyed the scene around you.

"Is it quieter out here Dovey?"

Smiling softly, you only nodded your head before reaching out gently to touch the leaves of a nearby bush. Though the party was fun, it had gotten a bit loud and in the growing chaos you needed some air. So while Tommy and Polly were distracted trying to convince Arthur and Finn not to throw Michael in the lake, you and your husband had slipped outside. 

"Alfie, we should plant a garden of our own I think."

"Is that right Dovey? Does my lady want some bushes of her own to trim doesn't she?"

"I think we could get some nice rose bushes. I've always loved those."

"Roses, is that it? You got a feeling about those prickly little parasites don't ya Dovey? I never got why you liked them."

Chuckling you sat on the edge of a nearby wall as your husband dug his feet in the ground. You knew exactly why Alfred hated roses, and it still amused you to this day. 

It happened years ago, around the time you'd first gotten together. This was before Alfie was even able to grow a beard, and all his kisses resulted in a scratchy scruff that prickled your face. Way back when boxing was still his main pastime instead of "baking", both kinds actually and these days your husband finally knew how to make a decent muffin. In an effort to be romantic, he'd shown up at your work one day with a nice bouquet of roses. They were lovely flowers and you were immensely elated by the gesture, and especially amused since he'd bought the flowers from that very shop only the day before too.... However it was a shame you never got the chance to put them in water. See, somewhere between the ten steps it took to get from the door to your table, he had tripped and fallen flat on the ground. Don't worry, his face hadn't hit the hard ground, it was cushioned....by the thorny roses. Maybe it was a good thing the thorns had left so many bloody scratches. It meant you weren't able to tell his face had turned as red as the roses petals now surrounding him. Instead of the romantic date he wanted to take you on, the evening was spent with you dapping the cuts on his face with a damp cloth while he started at the wall, contemplating every life choice he'd ever made. That was the night Alfred Solomons decided he'd never trust a rose ever again. Not even the ones his darling wife sought to plant in her gardens.

"Alfie, come on! Roses aren't that bad, just because you had a little slip up years ago doesn't mean they all hate you."

Standing by up again, you held out your arms towards Alfie as music began to reach the garden. Shaking his head lightly, he set down his cane and took your arms, fully confident you'd be there to support him if his hip got too bad. You and Alfie had yet to dance tonight, caught up talking with others (which was really just your doing) and pointing out everyone who'd gotten too drunk and was trying piss in the plants. It wasn't something either of your minded to badly, the large crowds of people tended to make you feel a bit nervous and Alfie occasionally had a hard time keeping rhythm because of his hip. So most of your dancing was done in the back corners of the ballroom or privately in your kitchen, waiting for the midnight snacks to be done. 

However tonight, it seems you'd be dancing in Thomas Shelby's garden. Slowly but happily, you waltzed closely with your husband, stepping around the fountain and laughing as he stopped to twirl you ever few seconds. Other than the music from the house and the gentle crunches  of your shoes beneath the gravel path, the world was silent. When the song ended your husband gave you a gentle kiss and stepped back, though he was still holding you in his arms. Looking up above yourselves, you saw the constellations fitting the night sky.

"Ohh Alfie! Look at them! Aren't they beautiful?"

Beaming, you grinned up at the stars twinkling down on you before moving from your husband to a smaller empty plot of ground. You suspected that something was to be planted there soon, but paid no mind to the grime that would get on your skirt as you settled down to sit in the dirt. It was a nice little spot, right next to the rocky path and dug out in a manner that was lined on three sides by tall hedges. To anyone looking out if the mansion, the little alcove would have been completely invisible. 

"What are ya doing now Dovey? Is this the thing you said we shouldn't be doing?" Alfie teased you from where he was still standing.

"I just wanna sit and watch the stars for a bit. Come," remaining seated you patted the spot next to you, "Join me."

Alfie walked over to the spot but when he got there, he only raised an eyebrow at you and tapped his hip with the cane. You stared for a moment and then it clicked. Laughing slightly at your forgetfulness, you stood up, bowing dramatically, and held out your arm. 

"Right right, I forget you have the hip of an overworked, ninety seven year old parlor dancer. Shall I assist you to the ground my dear sir?"

Alfie only grumbled, but his eyes twinkled as you teased him. If anyone else had made the comment they'd have been dead before they blinked, but you were different. Alfred Solomons was capable of many things, but some nights when his hip got bad, he needed help moving around more, especially if it meant going from standing to sitting on the ground. You were happy to help of course, but being married for over a decade didn't mean the pair of you were above lightly poking fun of the other. Only two years ago, you had accidentally scratched part of your eye and needed to wear an eyepatch for five weeks. The first thing Alfie had done when you walked out of the examination room and asked if he could get food for dinner, was reply with "does patchy wanted a cracker" in reference to the one eyed parrot you'd seen in a film the month before. It was just something you'd always done together even before you started dating. A dark humor you both shared, as if joking about the hurt could make it better. 

Holding his other arm, you gently helped your husband lower himself to the ground, squeezing his hand comfortingly when he let out a small groan. After helping your husband take a seat, you settled into your own again, leaning your head on his shoulder as you looked to the heavens. 

"You aren't really gonna plant roses are ya Love? What if something happens to them?"

"Like what? You assault them with your face again?"

"....Maybe? But like why do you really enjoy them? I still don't see the charm."

Sighing, you shifted your gaze and looked your husband in the eyes.  One of your hands moved up to his face, as you gently caresses the one spot on his face that refused to grow hair like the rest of his beard. You knew it was another old war wound, but this was actually one he had yet to tell you the story of. Gazing into his eyes a few moments more, you then changed positions so you were seated across his lap, one leg in either side of his.

"Why do I love roses?....Their petals are as soft as their thorns are sharp and given the right hand, their climb up any wall in their path. Not only that but their petals can have many uses for food or paint or even my blush. That means they are able to change their usefulness based off their situation at hand. They are able to adapt, nor are the helpless. Some people say the point of the thorns is to choke out anything else threatening to take the roses' livelihood." you gently held your husbands face between your hands as you continued, "I like roses because they remind me of you Alfie. Because they are beautiful, and strong, and dangerous. You are a gorgeous and strong man, and I know how badly you try to protect me every day. You are so kind to me, but I know how far you'll go for me. I would go just as far for you. You are my rose Alfred Solomons and so I love them as all they remind me of you."

Alfie was quiet for a moment, observing what you'd said. His hands sat on your waist, thumbs rubbing gently in your sides. 

"You saying I'm like a fucking flower Dovey, is that it?"

"Yeah, you're my flower though."

"....Alright."

"....You know why else you're like a rose love?"

"Why poppet?"

"Because it can be a pain in the ass to keep you alive sometimes."

Alfie only put his hand to his chest in mock offense, while your grinned up at him mischievously.

"Oi, now you better watch your words there Dovey."

"Make me Rosie," you whispered, grinning as your leaned closer to your husbands face, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw.

Gently Alfie leaned back, taking you with him until his back was on the ground. Hands, still on his face, you could feel the smile on his face. Slowly one of his hands moved to your head bringing you down so he could kiss you again. Sweet at first but it quickly increased in passion and vigor. Though eventually you had to pull back for breath, and it was then you realized his hands had already rearranged your skirts in a way overnight you both.

"Alfred? I know we can't do this out here?"

Your husband only laughed, reaching towards his belt as he pulled you close again.

"Slide down a bit farther and I think you'll see we definitely can Dovey. It's only a matter of being quiet enough to evade capture."

It was a nice little spot, right next to the rocky path and dug out in a manner that was lined on three sides by tall hedges. To anyone looking out if the mansion, the little alcove would have been completely invisible. And luckily, the music was loud enough to hide the sounds of rustling bushes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't until the next morning when you realized what went wrong...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After making it back to the house last night and finding half the dog food "mysteriously missing", the pair of you had decided to call it a night. And since business was going so well Alfie had elected to take a few days off, hoping to spend more time with you. It also meant he'd finally be able to sleep in.....or so he thought.

A sudden crash woke Alfie from his slumber the next morning. 

Shooting up, he automatically looked to his right, and his heart stopped for a moment realizing you weren't there. Another clatter from downstairs and a frustrated scream from you had him practically jumping out of bed and grabbing his gun. You usually like staying in bed for a few more hours, especially when he was there, so the fact he could hear your distress from upstairs made him worry. 

Carefully Alfie snuck down the hall, peaking in rooms to make sure no unsavory figures were lurking behind the door. Another annoyed groan accompanied by various curse words hurried him to his final destination. 

"Love, are you alright?"

It was a stupid thing to ask as you were very much not alright. The kitchen was a mess, looking like every cabinet had been opened and all the contents pulled out. Pots and bass were laud hurriedly across the counters as you rummaged through every nook and cranny. A quickly glance into the living room told Alfie it was scattered in a similar state. But you hadn't responded to your husband, not the first time or even the second. It wasn't until Alfie stepped right up behind you, putting his hand on your shoulder, and turning your around to face him when you responded.

"I can't find it."

Your voice wavered as you admitted the truth. Looking down like a small child about to be told off, you averted your face from your husband's. Alfie was still confused, but he could tell whatever you were rallying about was obviously important.

"Can't find what Dovey? Whatever it is it's probably isn't too bad. I can help ya find it righty?"

"No Alfie you don't undertstand."

"Then help me understand Love. Let's get through this together like we always have yeah? Come on, tell your husband what we're looking for." Carefully cupping your face in his hands, Alfie guided you to look at him again. He could see the tears welling in your eyes as you spoke.

"....I.....I lost my wedding ring Alfie."

"Oh."

It was the simple oh that broke the dam. Stepping back from your husband, tears began to stream down your face as you shoved your fingers in you hair as if trying to hold in the stress.

"SEE I told you it was terrible. I...I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom and noticed it missing when I went to clean my hands. I figured I'd just taken it off la... last night but it wasn't by the bed table like I usually put it. Then I went through the bathroom and it wasn't there. I've gone through every room in this hours and I can't fucking find it!!! I don't ....I don't know where it is Alfie. I just... oh god." 

Covering you mouth with your hand, you realized where you lost the ring. 

"Alfie the fucking garden."

"The garden? Love you haven't made the garden yet, how could it be there?"

"No, TOMMY'S garden. It has to be there. It fell off last night when we were rolling in the dirt. I've been meaning by to get it resized. Oh fuck this is awful"

Alfie actually chuckled at your realization. Of course the ring would fall off in the most inconvenient place possible, but he wasn't about to tell you that.

"Thats alright Dovey we can just..."

Throwing your hands in the air you interrupted your husband, frustrated at yourself for a number of reasons. It stung Alfie's heart to see you like this. Carefully he dragged your hands from your face and pulled you into a hug. Soothingly his hands ran up and down your back as he tried to comfort you.

"We can just what Alfred? Waltz back over and demand he let us dig up the plants for it? He'd probably ask why and what are we suppose to say then huh Alfred? Oh you know, we lost it in the garden you see...Well what were you doing there Y/N? ...Nothing much just fertilizing the soil, pollinating the flower, playing like the rake and ho, rustling the bushes, sowing seed in the garden, FUCKING IN THE FLOWERBEDS!!!! No we can't do that Alfie we just can't! It's probably gone forever... I'm so sorry."

Alfie was the one to hide his face this time. He knew you were in distress but he was amused by one of your last sentences. You always were good with the innuendos. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to get you to calm down. He knew at this point you weren't so mad about the ring, as just overwhelmed by the lack of success you'd had in finding it.

"Yes love, we can tell him all those things and if he'd got any sort of romantic bone in his tiny, banged up little body he'd offer us shovels to dig if we need them. And if not then I'd wager every deal I'd ever have with his lot is out the fucking window isn't it. We've been married since before the little one of them was teething haven't we? It's not like they don't think we're fucking. Besides it's a decent fucking garden, Tommy should have know what he was doing when he made that little hidey spot didn't he? It'll be fine. And if I find it then I'll get to propose to you all over again won't I? I think if I got one wish left in the word it would be to do that again. Ask if you'd be mine forever and let you know I'll always be there. Love I promise. It's alright Dovey, it's ok. No need to get worked up about it's not such a big deal."

Thought he was trying to help, his last sentence only made things worse. Stepping pack from Alfie you threw your hands up again.

"IT IS OUR MARRIAGE ALFIE! And I've practically lost it like it means nothing at all! How can you say that!"

There it was. The really reason you were so worked up. Not because you'd lost the little ring. It was because somewhere in your mind, over the years you'd been together, you'd gotten the idea that if you didn't have it on your were almost betraying everything you held dear. As if you thought without the ring, all the vows you'd mad together were nil. Alfie couldn't help but laugh at that. He laughed hard too, like you'd told the funniest joke in their world. 

"You think that ring is our marriage?"

Stepping closer again Alfie took your arms and pulled you closer.

"Our marriage is so much more than that fucking ring love," he said, cupping your face between his hands again. "Our marriage is me stealing Ollie's shirt before every lunch date because his is cleaner than mine and wanna look my best for the best, that's you by the way. It's you grinning at me through the glass window at fuck O'clock in then morning when I've taken the dog out for a piss since you thought it'd be funny to lock me out in the cold in my fucking skeevies again. It's me paying a fuck ton of money to the flower shop down the street so you could get a rose every week I was away fighting. It's you spending hours patching me up after I had a bad fight even though blood makes you gag yeah. When you refuse to give me dinner until I give you a kiss and when I won't give you a gift until I've gotten a hug? Sharing a bath after a hard day? That's our marriage. You interrupting my meeting because you're so excited to show me a new book? Me interrupting your book club because I've just gotten back from a business trip? You demanding I come to bed and cuddle up, only to shove me off of you later when you're too hot? Me tightening jars in the pantry so you have to get me to open them? Making fun of each other's injuries, patchy? Don't you see it? You. Me. You. Me. You. Me. WE."

"Alfie..." You couldn't help but smile at your husband's words realizing he was right.

"Dovey, It isn't defined by a thin piece of metal with a tiny fucking stone that I stole off a rich toff at a boxing match one day. Our marriage is YOU and ME and every little moment in between. And I promise it's always gonna be just that. And do you know why that is Treacle?"

Alfie had moved his hands again, now resting them on your hips. Gazing at you lovingly he waited for your answer.

"Why Ally?"

"Because I'm your flower remember? I'm your fucking rose.... and you're fucking my sunshine, Dovey. I have no chance of living without you."

Wrapping your arms around your husband, you buried your face into his neck. Losing the ring you'd worn almost every day for years didn't seem so criminal anymore. 

"Alfred Solomons when did you learn to say something so romantic."

Your husband only chuckled as he step away, grabbing some of the boxes you'd pulled out in your panic. 

"A master never reveals his secrets Dovey. Now come on. Let's clean this up and then we'll go get you a new ring eh? Wouldn't want any gangly miscreant thinking they've got a chance with you would we?"

Looking at the damage you'd done, you couldn't but sigh, maybe it would have been better to wake your husband immediately before diving head first into your expedition. Now you were kicking yourself since you'd just redone all the work you'd don't last week reorganizing every thing.

"I'm not sure the jewellery shop will still be open today by the time we finish Alfred. I'm not even sure we'll be able to finish this in a week with the mess I've made."

Your husband just bonked you lightly with the broom he handed you and nudged you in the direction of the living room.

"That's alright Dovey. Because unless you've got some nefarious little plans I haven't heard of to steal my dog and run off, I don't think either of us is going anywhere anytime soon aren't we?"

You could only smile and kiss him on the cheek.

"I suppose you're right. We've got all the time in the world...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two years later...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shelby, I want my dog."

The Shelby in question turned around, eyeing the woman before him. He knew this day would come. Only he expected it to be sooner, a few days, maybe even a week later...but now it was four months. Four months since he....despite his feelings towards the man, Tommy couldn't help but feel slight regrets for what he'd done. Especially seeing the state of her now, standing in his garden.

"He's just gone on a walk with Charlie and Finn. They should be back in an hour or so."

"I'll wait... I see you filled in that empty plot of ground. They're lovely flowers, I don't remember them being there two winters ago."

Tommy averted his gaze to the bushes you were pointing at. Indeed the small alcove where you'd hidden with your husband had been filled. In its place grew a thick rose bush, blooming with life. You smiled, and to anyone else, they might have thought your look truthful. And some of it was, thinking of the happy memories connected there. But Tommy could see deeper than that. Behind the smile he could see the same pain he had when he looked in mirrors. The pain that came from losing the thing you loved most. For as different as you both were, he knew the tactic you played, though the mask you wore was much brighter than his. And for now he decided he could respect that. He could pretend just for a moment, if only to help you. It was the least he could do, seeing as he was the reason you wore it... He was the one to pull the trigger.

"You're right. The gardener put them in almost two years ago, right after the party where Arthur and Finn tossed Michael into the lake. Do you remember that one? I saw you talking to my sister but never saw you leave that night."

A genuine chuckle left your mouth hearing his words. You played with the ring on your left hand. Only two years old and very expensive, but in that moment, it felt like you were wearing another ring again. One that was much older and worn, that you hadn't seen in years. 

"I do. That was certainly a night I'll remember forever. It's a shame you got rid of that little alcove. It was a nice little spot away from the world wasn't it."

Tommy could only nod and take another drag of his cigarette.

"Did Alfie ever tell you about the first and last time he gave me roses in person. I mean, of course he probably didn't and I'll have to tell you sometime, but I think you might find it funny. There's a lot about him I'm sure he hasn't told you. But then again, knowing him there's probably a lot he did..." You trailed off, staring at the flowers a bit longer, remembering that day over a decade ago, not really meaning to tell Tommy that, doing so anyway. After all, no one had heard from you in months, so it made sense to him, that you'd be eager to talk to anyone. Even the man you should hate most in the world.

Silence descended on the pair standing tense in the garden. There was so much to be said, but neither knew where to start. Truthfully, you'd only talked to Tommy a handful of times, but he felt like he'd already known you like his sister. He couldn't help but scoff, thinking of all the times Alfie had gone off on a tangent about you during a meeting. Sometimes, your mention had nothing to do what was being discussed at all, Alfie just liked to brag about the good he had. In the end it was Tommy who spoke up first, the guilt of his past actions finally caving in on him.

"Y/N, I'm sor..."

"Don't. Thomas, I don't want you to say sorry," turning from the vibrant blooms, you faced the capped man. "I don't want you to say sorry, because you know what? I don't blame you. You're completely alright. I'm not mad at you.... It's my fault I suppose. I could have stopped it."

Tommy raised his eyebrow, curious to what you meant, and also concerned. There was something in your eyes that made his stomach turn slightly hearing those words. But he couldn't exactly place why.

"What's that suppose to mean Y/N?"

You only let out a bittersweet laugh and stared out into the garden again, sitting on the edge of a familiar fountain before you revealed the truth.

"It's my fault he's gone I think. I should have known. I should have never left that day and I could have stopped it."

Tommy's brows furrowed as he sat down next to you. 

"What's that mean? You couldn't have known what his plan was? It's not your fault."

Absentmindedly, you picked at the leaves of a nearby bush. Though your voice was even, Tommy could practically see the war inside your head.

"It's how he kissed me when I left that day. I was only going to be gone a few days to visit my friend who was suppose to have her baby soon. Nothing dangerous. But it's the way he kissed me that should have tipped me off. He kissed me the way he did when he got on the damed train, in that damned uniform. He kissed me like he didn't think he'd see me ever again, going to die in the war. And I guess he didn't."

Tommy didn't say anything. He just let you continue. Something in his head told him, he needed to let your speak, he needed to keep you here tonight. If he let you leave today, no one would ever see you again and something in Tommy told him not to let that happen.

"You know I still haven't admitted it to myself just yet... The truth," standing up you began to pace around the fountain, circling the water. "Since I first got the call I haven't picked up the phone anymore, I'm scared of what I'll hear. I haven't opened any letters, because I don't want to see what they'll say. I still haven't even gone home yet. I've been paying for a hotel room by my friend's house and only leaving by when I need more food. I know it not good for me, but it's all I can find I can do. I've been telling myself it's just that. He's gone to the war again and he'll be back in a few months." Though you spoke with a smile as if talking about the weather, it was easy to see the pain in your eyes. You thought denying the truth would make the hurt go away. But it wouldn't, Tommy knew it was only a matter of time before you broke. And like with Cyril, he felt like he was the one who needed to help. So he decided to play along for now, letting you keep your act up. Atleast until he could figure out the best way to fix the mess he still felt he'd made.

"You tell yourself it's the war eh? Do you write him letters."

"Yes, I write him one almost every day. But I haven't sent any. Did you know that I was rarely able to send them to him during the war. Something about his post being secretive, and no one should know where it really was. So I'd just... write a letter everyday and when I got a letter that his squad was resting at a safe camp every few months I'd just send the packet of them.... If I was lucky I'd get one back, but most of the time I just had to wait. I learned a lot about waiting then. I learned it was better to laugh too. Laughing helped me stay sane."

Standing up, Tommy began walking with you as you stepped deeper into the gardens.

"Laughing eh? Well I guess it's better than what I did. Almost drunk myself to the grave and then fucked off in a caravan with my son for a month. Seems you're handling it better than me."

You could only scoff at his response.

"Oh don't worry, there's been plenty of drinks for me too. I'm a happy drunk though, so I guess it helps my plan. After all, as long as I'm laughing, I don't have time to cry. I don't think I'll be able to stop crying the day I begin. So I'm just trying to hold off as long as I can."

"Aren't we all."

Silence fell in the garden again, and the two widowed souls walked back to the house. It was starting to get back and Tommy had noticed Finn's car pull up a few minutes ago. When you reached the back door you were met with a fluffy beast knocking you over as soon he'd caught sight of you. Cyril was happy to have at least one of his masters back. The man taking care of his now treated him well, but he still missed life with his old owners, even if he couldn't express it in words. 

While you reunited with Cyril and applauded Charlie on the tricks he taught the dog, Tommy went to gather some of Cyril's things and have Francis prepare a room for you. Tommy had no clue where you'd take the dog, but seeing as you seemed adamant about staying away from Margret, and apparently didn't despise Tommy (somehow), he thought it made sense to let you stay the night for a bit. And something still told him to convince you to stay even if just for one day.

On his was back down the stairs he noticed something sitting on the table and there was a click in his brain. He remembered the curiosity brought to him that morning during breakfast, and suddenly a lot of odd business meetings made sense. He finally realized who'd messed up the empty dirt patch that night two years ago. Grabbing the object off the table, Tommy headed back to the drawing room. Inside you were still petting your beloved dog, even though Finn had taken Charlie to get ready for bed. 

"Y/N, I went up to grab some of Cyril's things, but I think it may be better for you to spend the night here. It's getting late and I don't think either of us wants the dog getting hurt if you were to crash."

You laughed gently at his words, not caring to ask about the hand behind his back. Not thinking much about his words, you accepted his offer. You knew you should be mad at him, hate him, even what to kill him, but you couldn't. You were too tried to be mad at anyone right now. Besides, it wasn't like you knew where you were going anyway. You just wanted to see your...his dog again. Maybe if you had that little piece left, it would make it easier to move on. It would make it easier to pretend you weren't alone now.

"Alright. I'll stay. But only so Charlie can give Cyril a proper goodbye. I'd hate to tear them apart, it seems they've made close friends."

"They have," Tommy smiled, genuinely happy thinking of how closely his son had bonded with the dog. "Cyril's stuff is in Charlie's room now infact. They've taken such a liking, I can't keep them apart. We can get his stuff tomorrow, but I do have one thing I think you may want now."

You looked towards the Shelby man curious. "What is it?," you questioned.

Silently Tommy extended his hand to give you the object he'd snagged from the table.

It was a single rose... But something was different about it. The stem seemed to have grabbed something buried within the dirt to take along as it began to grow. Twisting and turning all the way out of the dirt, outwards towards the sun, as if offering the shiny object up. An ages old promise from the rose to the sun of an endless truth, never broken even in death...

The rose was offering his sun a ring.

And not just any ring. A wedding ring. Simple and worn, it had been stolen off a rich toff from a boxing match many years ago. It had survived work and war, seen blood and lust, and so many other things. And while the ring didn't define the marriage it represented a promise you thought you'd never see again. But here now, seeing how tightly the rose stem had grown around it, you knew you'd never have to worry about that again. Not even death could stop the love the rose proposed to his sun. Even in death he'd still offer her life.

You couldn't even take the rose from Tommy's hand before you finally broke. Laughing at the irony, Tears streamed down your face as you sunk to your knees, all the pain you'd been bottling up coming out. And thus you sobbed, hard. So hard in fact, it felt like you couldn't breathe. And you sobs were still mixed with laughter of disbelief as a million memories ran through your head, but none as loud as the one of that night and the morning after. 

Two years ago you'd lost that ring. Alfie promised that he'd look multiple times whenever he went back to the house, even if it meant having the meeting in the garden like "a bunch of prissy ladies at a fucking tea party" as he'd called it. And for two years he'd had no luck until now. But today, your rose had finally found the lost ring, even if you'd lost him months ago. 

Setting the rose gently on the table, Tommy sunk to his knees too. Letting you grab onto him, for a shoulder to mourn on. He knew you needed it. For so long you'd shut yourself away, denying the truth and trying to act like it didn't affect you. You wanted to pretend your world wasn't falling apart and now you couldn't any more. He'd been he same way, except he didn't have anyone to help him. He couldn't burden his one year old son with his grief and he knew most of his family still resented Grace to some degree. They hadn't been as destroyed by her passing as he had. He didn't want you to be alone like he had. For as many terrible thing as Tommy had done, he couldn't bring it upon himself to leave you alone now. And so he sat on the floor, holding you in his arms as the cracked dam finally broke. 

That night, until the early hours of the morning, Thomas Shelby sat comforting the wife of the man he'd killed. And he would until she'd fallen asleep, finally worn out from her grieving. In the morning he'd offer breakfast and they'd get to talking about the loves they lost. They were still both hurt and broken and mourning what they'd lost, but they weren't alone now. For two people so different they both knew what the other felt so deeply. Little snippets and stories about happier times, while watching a little boy play with a big dog, laughing as the pair rolled in the grass. And while both still grieved, there was a peace to be found in being with someone who knew how they felt. 

And while they talked, Y/N played with the ring on her finger. It was new and expensive and fit just right. This one was only two years old and didn't have many memories but she loved it just the same. And upstairs by her bed sat another ring, but this one was held tightly by a rose she'd placed in a vase. This was the ring that she loved more, and the one she really wanted to wear, but she couldn't bear to tear it from the rose just yet. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to. Maybe she'd let the rose dry out and preserve it like she use to do someone's at the flower shop when she was young. But for now she's let it live as it was.

Holding on tightly to a promise that not even death could divide...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While all this happened a mailman was headed towards Birmingham with a letter from a dead man, asking about his dog and looking for his wife....

[firinnie]

What if...

So what if Zeus received the prophecy about Metis' son only during her second pregnancy? When he was still young and stupid, not absorbed in his position but instead delighted with his wife and daughter? And what if he didn't blame his change in behavior for the disintegration of Olympus' first true family? The blame would be on the littke boy who would be called his own son.

WELL! Metis' case is very interesting and I think I like what I did recently so I want to continue it. A few aspects here:

First of all Athena, I would not take away her aspect of war strategy but think it would be given to the 3rd plan in this universe, but handicraft would go hand in hand with her wisdom. Athena was born in armor because Metis knew that if anything happened on Olympus no one would defend her. But in this world? She was the first child of Zeus, conscious and wanted so she did not have to worry about it, at least not at the beginning. I also gave her some sea motifs, from her mother, and instead of full armor, aeigs from her father.

Metis became queen. Unfortunately to him, she broke up with Zeus when sealized that the position was more important than a son of his blood, so they have an arrangement - she has the crown and her husband still has a lot of women. That's enough for Metis because thanks to it she has her children close and safe.

In this comic Metis had just given birth, Zeus had forbidden anyone to enter her labor room. Her "sisters" (Hera, Demeter and Hestia) were at her daughter's birth. When her husband wanted to be alone with his wife she knew she had to fight for this boy, as soon as she gave birth, fed him and put him in the crib, knowing that the king was standing and watching her every move. She hated not knowing something but this time she knew perfectly well that she could only count on a miracle because she didn't know what her son's father would do.

And "the boy from the prophecy". Wiki says that Metis had a son named Porus, but he is supposed to be the father... of Eros? In general, it sounds like it was pulled out of thin air and doesn't suit so let's absolutely leave this idea. What I came up with, on the other hand, is a god named Caerus (Kairos)... someone who fits us perfectly! He was considered younges son of Zeus with an unspecified mother and is considered the god of opportunity! We know so little about him that I can add own story to this, okay? Wiki believes he was supposed to be the one to overthrow his father but that has no source, either way this is the closest possible son of Metis we can find.

He is very mysterious even in my comic but got eagle wings from his father & freckles and colorful lock of hair from his mother. His sacred animal is a lion. I chose yellow for his color, not only is it associated with the blood of the gods that he will spill in the future but it also symbolizes betrayal. What will Athena feel if her beloved brother stands on the other side.

I'm glad you like what I did because at this point I'm probably doing everything not to finish my fic lol.

[swiftiefirefighters]

the one thing that just makes me feral is when people imply that eddie doesn’t care about christopher and never considers him about any decision he ever makes when actually part of the problem is that at times he considers christopher to a fault and to his own detriment. he has made one shitty, horrible, selfish decision in like 5 years (bc i can’t ignore fight club arc, obviously) and it blew up in his face. my man saw a woman who looked exactly like his dead wife and idk WHO would act normally in that scenario, but having a little insanity about it probably makes him a bad boyfriend but NOT a bad man and definitely not a bad father.

this is not me saying chris doesn’t have the right to be angry. he does. i do think it’s been 3 months and at this point what is going on in el paso that he still won’t say 2 words to his father and i think eddie’s parents can shoulder some of the blame for continuing the cycle of diazes just running away from their problems instead of trying to face them.

i saw someone say that eddie hadn’t even tried with his son. that he hadn’t been genuine or vulnerable and that is just. he literally knelt on the ground in front of him heart open and said you are my son and i love you and you can always come home i will always love you. what more could you ask for with vulnerability. we don’t know what has happened in these three months. i don’t think a silly little party is the only contact he’s tried to make. it was just his latest attempt. it’s clear apologies aren’t working. it’s clear chris doesn’t want an explanation. so what is he going to do besides continue to show chris that he’s here even if chris doesn’t want to hear it.

and let’s be real. helena has thought from day one eddie was unfit to raise christopher on his own. this has just given her true ammo to feel like she’s right. who knows what she’s saying, maybe not even directly to chris, but where chris can hear, about BOTH of his parents because she hated shannon too. as someone with a shitty manipulative grandmother who did something very similar to my own mom with my old brother i just feel like even if she doesn’t realize it she is not even trying to do what’s best for ANYONE in this situation except for herself.

anyway, tldr, eddie diaz is a good man and a good father and he loves his son more than anything in this entire god damn world. he said years ago he would fight for him and he’s doing it in the best way he knows how - by showing his son he’s still there.

my man fucked up. he went a little insane and did some messy dumb shit. but he is NOT a bad person and fucking up doesn’t make you a bad parent. i can’t help but wonder if that’s part of the problem tho. that now chris has to see his dad as a human who fucks up and not just a hero who saves people. and that’s a hard fucking lesson to learn.

[joviepog]

Oh god this might become an issue. I’m in my hunger games phase and I’ve reread all the books and rewatched like, all the movies. So now I’m head over heels for young!coriolanus. Lmao enjoy my first BOSAS fic!

-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-

Weakness

Warnings: Mention of killing, cursing, suggestive if you squint really hard, kissing (if I missed anything let me know!)

Who: Young! Coriolanus x reader

Pronouns: She / her

Word count: 1,122 words

Tag list: @phxntomsdusk @haunted-headset @ax-y10 @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons (ask to be added)

Main plot: Corio realizes he finally has a weakness after so long, you.

This story is NOT proofread!

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3

-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-

Snow is used to being the most powerful in the room. He’s used to having control. He likes having control. In all his years he had never had power until now. So when he finds out he finally has a weakness after so many years, he almost panics. Almost.

Corio would only have one weakness. Your smile. And at first, he didnt pay it any mind.

He didnt pay it any mind when you were just an option. He didnt care at all when all he cared about was if you were dutiful enough to be the first lady of Panem.

But now?

God he hated himself for not paying it any mind beforehand. Because now that you sit here, next to him in a counsel meeting, he regrets ever picking you to be his wife. The way you smile sends his heart aflame. The way your eyes close and your head tilts when you smile makes his breath hitch ever so slightly. You were like the sun in a room filled with cold hearted people. Your dress only brought out your smile more and he hated the people that let you wear such a beautiful outfit.

For so long he tried to avoid seeing you. It was more because he saw no point in seeing you. The only reason he married you was for the money and for the eyes of the people. Not for love, not for romance, and definitely not for his own selfish desires. And at first it stayed that way. He feared that the more he saw your beautiful smile, the more in danger he would become. He only saw you during important counsel meetings that you had to attend to.

At first, he was going to “get rid of you” because of his new found weakness. He was going to blame it on “natural causes” and hope he could find another wife. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He told himself that it was “just in the meantime” so that he could have time to find a new wife. But suddenly he started looking forward to those counsel meetings. And suddenly he started to see you in the hallways, or the library, or even the garden.

Totally not because he had memorized your entire schedule.

He hated how fucking weak you made him feel. He wanted to figure out why. Why had you made his heart skip a beat ever time you spoke? Why had you made him choke on his own drink when you would simply look at him with a warmhearted smile? Why was it that you had him following you like a lovesick puppy around the mansion?

Why. Why. Why

To find his answers, he started to speak to you. Only to find answers of course. When he would see you in the library he would make smalltalk. He started to dine with you instead of eating in his office. He started to walk you to your chambers to make sure you got there safe. He even walked with you in the garden on a daily just to see y- to get answers.

He wrote all his feelings down one day. Just like a child would write in a diary. And he hated it. So he burned it and made sure there was o evidence of his lovesick words. He would toss and turn every night, thinking about you, wondering why the hell he felt the way he did. He would daydream everyday at work when you weren’t there, imagining you smiling in front of him. And when you were there he couldn’t take his eyes off you.

Why were you so kind? Why did you smile at him every day? Why did you bring him his favorite food twice a week to his office?Why did he feel so helpless around you?

Why. Why. Why.

He asked himself this for a whole year. He soon began to get eye bags from not sleeping enough at night due to his tossing and turning. (He had to cover them up with makeup for public appearances) He soon became fond of your walks in the garden. (Sometimes holding your hand and adding more of the flowers you liked) He soon bought you new bookmarks with different colored roses for your books. (One almost every week) He soon began to pop into your office with your favorite food twice a week just to see your smile. (Just like you had done)

He was completely clueless to his own feeling. His thought process was that it was “For you not to feel uncomfortable.” It wasn’t until one day he overheard of the maids talking about how happy he had seemed since you came that something had clicked. Every time he was with you a slime crawled on his face. Every time he looked at you his gaze softened. Hell, every time he heard your name he would instantly cheer up!

“Shit.” He grumbled as he turned around and went to find you.

‘One last test.’ He thought. ‘One last test to see if i really do love her.’

So, he barged into the library. He saw you sitting by a large window, face hidden in a book and the sunlight hitting you softly. You looked like a goddess. You perked up when you saw him, a smile appearing on your face. That damn smile was going to be the end of him. “Coriolanus! I thought you had just left for a meeting-“ You were quickly stopped when he moved the book from your hands and kissed you.

It was an angry kiss -sure- but a passionate one at that. It took you a second to process what was happening before you kissed back. He put his hand on your cheeks as he bent down to kiss you on your chair. You could only put your hands on his chest to steady yourself. After a few moments, he pulled away and put his head on yours. You both gasped for air softly and his lips were only a few centimeters away. He looked down to your lips and you blushed. “Coriolanus? What was that fo-“

“It’s Corio for you. Corio.” He interrupts. You smile, that damn smile that captivated him a year ago. “Okay then Corio. What was that for?” He pulls away and smiles at you before turning away, “Just double checking something.” He then walks away and leaves you dumbfounded on the chair. And as he walks through the long hallway of his mansion, he tastes the strawberry chapstick that you had on his lips. He smiles as he walks to his meeting. What was he going to do with you? His only weakness.

If you do want to be added on my tag list pls let me know! If you want to be taken off, private message me :)

[pigeonpeach]

Too little too late <3

Summary: Diluc vs Jean x fem reader!

Did he really except you to wait? You had spent your life with the knowledge you would marry Dluc Ragvindr when you were of age. You grew alongside him and grew to like him. You two were close and you didn’t mind the arrangement and neither did he. But on his 18th birthday much happened to destroy those plans. His father died, he left the knights, he ran away with no explanation or even a note left for you his now worried fiancée. No answer when he’d come back or if he wouldn’t. To say you were stressed was a understatement.

That’s the thing about relationships, you’re not supposed to ditch your partner because you’re overwhelmed. You take a breather and talk to them about it. You had told him he could always talk to you about anything no matter what. And you advocated for him to do so, but he didn’t. He didn’t send you a letter in those 4 years he was gone. But who did was Jean Gunnhildr. Your parents rescinded the arrangement, they worried Diluc was too unstable to be wed currently. All without notifying him as they had no way to do so. Who was there to comfort you? Not Diluc but Jean. Jean who was already dealing with the fallout and such herself. Jean let you vent and cry in her lap as she visited you regularly. You two had always been close friends. You even joked you wished you could marry her instead. As a year passed with no word from Diluc you gave up your dream or expectation of his return. It was heartbreaking but necessary, you took the promise ring and gave it to Adelinde as you wished to focus on yourself rather than burden the worries of a man who wouldn’t even let you know if he was okay or not. Maybe it was wrong to hate him but the man left you high and dry with no explanation or anything to go off of! You had no choice but to assume you just weren’t important enough for him to even consider he was leaving you behind. Your heart was in pieces and you had to fix it yourself.

Come 4 years and Diluc returned to Mondstadt no longer recognizable as the man he used to be. A stoic and emotionless expression with eyes that made him seem bored more often than not. He didn’t blame you for not waiting for him. But he did notice how Jean seemed to accompany you alot now. Far more than ever. Even as she got busier would you accompany her to go out in town, your arm wrapped around hers. Maybe its wrong for him to be jealous but… he can’t help it. There’s even talks that you might end up her wife instead. Your parents don’t seem against that idea either. To them Diluc is a good businessman but Jean is slated to be the next in charge, which is a big upgrade. She’s proven to be devoted and steady even in the face of change and battle. Perhaps they consider him a coward, that is definitely cruel but they also saw how you desperately tried to reach out to him to no avail.

As for Jean however she’s always loved you. She always envied Diluc for the fact he’d get you someday. She grew up gritting her teeth in a smile each time she heard him mention your future wedding with him. She bared it for you, to stay close to you and stay your friend. When he left she swooped in to console you. She didn’t expect to earn your heart but she wasn’t complaining. She also worried about diluc even though he was her competition all these years. She couldn’t help but be upset at how he left you though. Sure the first months were understandable but he should’ve tried to at least clarify he was okay or something at some point. She can’t help but pull her darling closer when he tries to talk. She’s finally proven herself as a option to them and she isn’t going to back down now.

Its quite a predicament to be in.

[writing-until-i-drop]

Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 11

Summary:

Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?

Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.

A/N: Daisy's been having nightmares and shutting Jake out but she should know by now that Jake's always going to be there | hehehehehe smut. oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (don't do that), dirty talk, lmk if I need to add anything else in this note.

AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

I woke up with a start, fumbling for the table lamp, gasping for air. This was the seventh night in a row I had woken up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. I reached for the other side of the bed only to find it cold, my heart dropping to my stomach. It was also the sixth night in a row I’d kept Jake out of the apartment. 

Talking to Rudolph Lance, and hearing him confess to the murder of my parents, was supposed to make things better but instead, all it had done was make my life a living hell. My agent had found out about the prison visit and had signed me up to do a dozen interviews for different news outlets and because of all of the press, my publisher was moving up the release date of my next book. Harvey was understandably pissed after I had explained the whole thing to him the morning after speaking with Lance and he was no longer taking my calls. His wife had texted me saying that he was fine, he just needed to cool down. 

Under the pressure of it all, I found myself pushing everyone away. I had snapped at Natasha more than once, ignored Jake’s calls, and wouldn’t text any of the Daggers back, not even Bob. I knew I was lashing out like a cornered animal and I hated myself for hurting everyone around me, but I couldn’t stop myself from spiraling. 

After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, I disarmed the alarm and went on the porch for a cigarette to clear my mind before calling Jake. It was two in the morning, so it wasn’t a surprise when the call went to voicemail. I almost hung up but instead I listened to the automated message, lighting up another cigarette.

“Hey, Jake.” I sounded like crap, even to my own ears. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I know you’re probably mad at me and I don’t blame you, I’m mad at me too because I’ve been the biggest bitch.” I sighed, flicking ash. “But I miss you and waking up alone hurts like hell. I’m so, so, so sorry, and if you’re willing to hear me out for a full apology, come over today, okay? I’ll be here.” I hung up and smoked another cigarette, the nicotine rushing to my head, making it spin.

It was like Groundhog Day. I woke up with a start, gasping and fumbling for the light, except this time when I reached out my hand didn’t hit cold sheets. My hand connected with the warm skin of Jake’s firm chest. He was shirtless in bed beside me, eyes blinking open against the sunrise.

“Jake?” I sobbed, throwing myself on top of him as he groggily tried to get his bearings. 

“I’ve got you, Wildflower.” His voice was rough from sleep just like it always was when he woke up and I kicked myself for voluntarily missing out on hearing it for the past week. “I’m right here.” 

“I’m with you,” I cried into his shoulder, three words standing in for another three words. “I’m here with you.” 

“I know you are, baby. Catch your breath, breathe with me, baby.” Jake exaggerated his breathing, praising me as I copied him. “That’s my girl, you’re doing such a good job.” 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” I kept repeating those words as my breathing slowed, whispering them into his shoulder, pressing kisses to his warm skin. “I’m really sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing and look at me,” Jake’s rough hands slid to my waist as I sat up, straddling him. His face was stern, green eyes staring into my soul. I flushed in shame, my head dipping. Jake slid two fingers under my chin, forcing my head up. “Don’t ever pull that shit again, do you hear me?” I nodded and then yelped, more surprised than hurt by the swat to my butt. “Say you understand, Daisy, I need to hear it.” 

“I understand,” He rubbed my ass with his palm, soothing away the slight sting. “I missed you.” I rested my hands on his shoulders, hesitant. Jake leaned his cheek against my right hand, smiling softly at me.

“I miss you too, Wildflower.” I leaned in slowly, kissing his forehead. “You owe a lot of people apologies,” Jake’s voice was tired, quiet, and had a serious edge to it. 

“I know,” I whispered, resting my forehead against his. “I’ll cook dinner, invite them all over, and give out lots of hugs,” He hummed in approval, his thumb tracing patterns on my hip. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that, any of you.” 

“No, you shouldn’t have,” My heart sank but I understood. Apologies couldn’t take away the pain I’d caused but they could help us move past it. “But you had some pretty valid reasons.” Jake kissed me softly, easing the guilty feeling in my chest.

“Still feel like shit though,” I mumbled into the kiss, toying with the hairs on the nape of his neck. Jake buried his fingers in my hair, massaging my scalp. A tension I hadn’t even known was stored there began to relieve itself under his touch, and my eyes fluttered shut. “I don’t deserve you.” His ministrations paused,

“Baby, look at me,” He was giving me those soft eyes again, cradling my head. “You deserve a man who treats you with care, compassion, and unconditional love. Even when you feel like you don’t deserve it, I promise that you do.” For the first time in a long time, the weight that settled in my chest wasn’t cold and harsh, but warm and full of comfort. 

“Someone like you?” 

“No, Wildflower. Not someone like me, me.” Jake pulled me close, brushing his lips against mine. “Are you with me?” 

“For as long as you’ll have me, pretty boy.” I’m not sure who kissed who first but it didn’t matter when Jake flipped me onto my back, deepening the kiss like a man starved. I keened against him, digging my nails into his back, spurred on by the noise it drew from him.

��We should do this right, baby,” Jake said between kisses, kissing his way across my cheek and down my neck. “I should take you on a real date with candles and white tablecloths.” He sunk his teeth into the crook of my neck and I cried out, scratching at his back. Jake lapped at the spot, soothing it, and sucking to deepen the mark.

“We can’t do this wrong,” I promised. There was a soft pressure on my thigh from his hand, working its way towards my center. I gasped, hips rolling. His hand stopped just short of where I needed it most. “Jake.” 

“Impatient much, Wildflower?” I pinched his side, feeling a little violent at being denied. “Okay, okay,” He laughed, kissing me quick, my lips chasing his as he pulled away. “What about a breakfast date instead?” I pushed his chest, schooling my face into a blank expression that was hard to maintain.

“Get off of me,” His face fell and I couldn’t take it, breaking into a grin. “I need pants for breakfast.” 

“You drive me crazy, woman,” Jake kissed me again. “Just a few more minutes in bed first,” He begged wistfully and who was I to argue? 

Jake glared at me when I snatched the check, quickly passing my card to the waitress.

“Now why did you have to do a thing like that? I was going to pay,” He chided and I rolled my eyes.

“Because I have been horrible for a week and this is one of the many ways I plan on making it up to you both.”

“Cheers to that,” Natasha, who had happily crashed our breakfast date, chimed in from the booth behind us. Jake’s foot brushed against my calf beneath the table, making me giggle. “Whatever you’re doing, stop it, it's gross.” We were all laughing when the waitress came back. I tucked the receipt in my pocket before Jake could grab it and figure out how to pay me back. “Okay, lovebirds. You should leave before I puke,” Natasha announced.

“You’re not coming back with us?” I asked, we had driven together in Jake’s truck and Natasha hated taking Ubers.

“Nah, Rooster is going to pick me up for putt putt.” I turned in my seat, hugging her tightly around the neck. “Condoms are in my nightstand,” She whispered, “I know you don’t have any.” 

“You’re the best best friend any girl could ask for,” I kissed her cheek and then let Jake walk me out of the diner with our fingers intertwined. 

X

The missed call notification when I woke up had scared the shit out of me. Phoenix had assured me that Daisy was asleep in bed, perfectly fine, but had let me in the house anyway when I showed up two hours after the call.

“What are we going to do with her?” She asked, not for the first time that week, while we hugged in the living room. I gave the same answer as always, be patient.

Then I stripped down to my boxers and slipped into my side of her queen-sized bed. I fell asleep in seconds with Daisy so close for the first time in a week. When Daisy woke up in a panic, reaching out for me without knowing I was there, that was the moment I knew she loved me back. 

“Don’t even think about opening that door,” Daisy blushed, releasing the handle. It had taken every ounce of my concentration and willpower not to crash the truck when she had reacted to my laying a hand on her thigh while driving by spreading her legs for me. My girl was running hot for me and it was going to take more self-restraint than I had to do this right.

I turned off the truck and jogged to the passenger side, opening the door and holding a hand out for her. She leaned back in her seat, giving me a long once over, teeth sunk into her bottom lip. “What, one second you’re trying to jump out of the truck and the next you don’t want to get down?” 

“Started thinking about having sex in your truck,” Jesus Christ. Was she trying to kill me? “Kinda liked the idea.” She was definitely trying to kill me.

“Wildflower, we’re not having sex for the first time in my truck.” Maybe tomorrow, I thought with a grin. “Now come here, baby.” Daisy hopped out of the truck with her hand in mine, blushing and shy like she hadn’t just proposed having sex in my truck in broad daylight. I led her inside, intending to take it slow, maybe sitting down for a movie first but the second the door closed Daisy was leaning against it and pulling me against her. 

Kissing Daisy would never get old, the way she switched between brazen and nervous, responding to even the most innocent of my touches. I tapped her thigh and she understood, jumping enough for me to wrap her legs around my waist. Daisy kissed her way down my neck as I carried her up the stairs, focusing on my collarbone. I moaned, trying not to run us into the walls as I stumbled down the hallway. 

“You’re killing me, baby,” I moaned, shoving her against the wall outside of her room. Daisy sunk her teeth into me and God, I thought I was going to pass out from the lack of blood going to my brain.

“Fuck me, Jake,” She whispered into my neck. “Please?” I kissed her softly, sweetly, trying to convey the feelings I couldn’t say aloud. I would give her anything she wanted, anything, all she ever had to do was ask. 

“Yes, ma’am,” I kissed her gently again and then carried her into the bedroom. When I put Daisy down she pulled off her oversized shirt and her bralette quickly followed, I stood back watching the show. Daisy was gorgeous, showstopping, taking my breath away, even in her cartoon pajama pants. 

“Jake,” She looked up at me with wide eyes. I snapped out of my haze, pulling off my shirt and joining her on the bed. I trailed kisses from her hip, up her stomach, between her breasts, all the way to her lips, savoring the needy way she buried her fingers in my hair.

“Are you sure about this, baby?” Daisy tensed, pushing at my shoulders. The lust I had been seeing on her face all morning was gone, replaced by insecurity.

“Do you not want to do this?” Propping myself up on my elbow, I rubbed away her scrunched brow with my thumb, then I traced her lips. How could she not know how crazy I was about her? I loved everything about Daisy, from the way she got lost in the worlds she created while writing, her collection of sleep pants that she’d wear to their wedding if Phoenix let her, hell, he even loved the way she drooled a little in her sleep. 

“Daisy, baby, I want to do this.” She studied me for a moment before relaxing back into the pillows with a smile, looking as perfect as ever. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Yeah, pretty boy,” She giggled, cheeks burning. “You can keep kissing me.” 

“Thank God.” I kissed her until my lungs burned for air, loving the hint of maple syrup from breakfast lingering on her tongue. Daisy moaned and cried as I lavished her neck with kisses, marking her delicate skin with bruises and bites that I hoped would never fade away. She shook with anticipation as my fingers slipped between her legs, teasing her slick folds. 

“Oh my God,” Daisy moaned. I nipped at her collarbone, knowing exactly what I wanted to do next.

“Has anyone ever had their mouth on your pretty pussy before, Wildflower?” She shook her head, whining my name as I slid a finger inside of her. Daisy was soaking wet and tight for me, rolling her hips for more. “Words, baby. Use them.” She shook her head again, pinching my side. I chuckled, kissing my way to her beasts, taking one of the pebbled peaks into my mouth. 

Her moans were music to my ears, getting louder with every move I made. I switched to her other breast, slowing the movements of my fingers to rile her up and she pinched me again, harder this time. I chuckled, kissing my way down her stomach. I hoped I was the only one who knew how violent and impatient Daisy got when she was wound tight like this. I worked a second finger into her, watching how her face scrunched in pleasure. 

“You going to answer my question, Wildflower?” I slowed my fingers again, teasing her. She looked at me, dazed and I repeated my question, slowing my movements to the point of almost stopping. 

“No one,” Daisy whined, rocking her hips against my hand, making up for the slowed movement. She groaned when I removed them, weakly kicking at me as I slid off the bed. “Stop being mean to me.”

“Patience, baby. I’ll give you what you need,” I dragged her down the bed, throwing her knees over my shoulders. “You’re perfect, Wildflower.” 

“Jake!” Daisy was delicious and it didn’t take long for her to lock my head between her thighs. With every lick her legs trembled more, my name leaving her lips like a chant the closer she got. I was running out of air but God it would be a good way to go. “I’m close,” She announced and I doubled down my efforts, focusing attention on her clit. Daisy came with a scream and I lapped up every drop she gave me, not wanting to miss a single drop of her. I was so hard it hurt, my dick straining against my jeans, begging to be released.

“Fuck, darlin, you taste amazing.” 

“Jesus, Jake,” She sat up on her elbows, panting. I sat back on my heels and just took in the view. “Get up here, pretty boy. I think it’s my turn to take care of you.” I shook my head, stripping off my jeans and boxers in one go.

“Not today, baby. All I want is to feel you come on my cock like a good girl,” Her eyes went wide at my words, She bit her lip, rolling it between her teeth. So she wanted to be my good girl, I stored that information away where I kept all the details I knew about Daisy. Like the way she took her coffee, her favorite pizza toppings, the brand of perfume she wore, how she preferred cotton hip hugger underwear even though she had half a drawer of satin thongs. “Now move up the bed.” Just like the night in my truck, I didn’t have to tell her twice. 

“Fuck, Jake. I need you,” 

“I need you too, baby.” I notched myself at her entrance, “Are you going to pinch me again if I do this slowly?” 

“Yes,” She gasped as I buried myself in her with one, quick motion. God, she felt like heaven. Stars clouded my vision and I had to bite my tongue to keep from coming right away, which would have been mortifying. “Please, please, please, don’t go slow.” I gave her a moment to adjust, kissing her sweetly. “Move, please.”

“Whatever you want, baby,” I pulled all the way out until just the tip remained inside and snapped my hips forward, setting a steady pace that had us both moaning. Our kisses became sloppy, her nails digging into my back, leaving scratch marks there that I’m sure the guys would tease me about later. “Harder,” She begged, crying out my name as I obliged, shifting her leg to get a better angle. I found her clit, rubbing fast circles to hurry her over the edge again, dying to feel her come around me.

“Come for me, baby. Come on my cock,” Daisy’s eyes screwed shut, “Eyes on me while I fuck you, baby.” Her eyes blinked open, locking with mine, and she came. She squeezed me like a vice, pushing me towards my own climax. I wasn’t going to last long. I adjust, pumping into her harder, fucking her through her orgasm and into what felt like another one.

“Fuck, Jake, fuck,” She pulled me in for a kiss, biting my bottom lip. “Oh shit, we forgot a condom.” Oh shit was right, I slowed my pace, I had never forgotten a condom. It was a rule of mine, hell, there was one in my wallet right now, sitting in the pocket of my abandoned jeans.

“Do you want me to stop? I’ll stop,” She shook her head. “I’m clean.”

“Me too, IUD,” Her words were a jumbled mess as she rocked her hips up to meet mine, “Keep going.” 

“Are you sure?” Daisy pinched me hard, sending the message loud and clear. “Think you can give me one more, baby?”

“No,” She had that blissed out look on her face. “Jake,”

“One more, baby,” I started on her clit again, “You can give me one more.” It didn’t take long to push her over the edge again and this time I came with her.

“Holy shit,” Daisy kissed me softly, running her fingers through my hair. I loved this woman, if it hadn’t been official before, it was now. “I don’t think I can move,” She giggled, breaking the kiss.

“Good, means you can’t run away from me again.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes,

“I didn’t run.” I gently flicked her nose and she stuck her tongue out at me, all of the weight that we had both been carrying this morning gone as she smiled up at me.

“Whatever, baby. Point is, I’m never letting you kick me out of this bed again.” Daisy smiled, cupping my face with both her hands.

“I don’t plan on it, like I said, I’m right here.” 

“And I’m here with you.” I love you. 

Next Chapter

Taglist: @dizzybee03 @littlezee80 @nervousenemyduck @carolina-on-my-mind03 @mizzzpink @beltzboys2015-blog @writingrose

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 26

A trip outside the QZ turns dangerous. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-25 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Injuries from canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 5.2k

Tuesday, June 6, 2023 - Two Years Later

“I’m not doing this with you again, Joel,” Tess snapped, staring him down from across the table. “I’m not letting your obsession…” 

“It’s not fucking safe, Tess,” he cut her off. “When was the last time we went out and didn’t run into raiders? Last two months have been especially bad…” 

“You think it’s safe for you and me but not safe for her?” She demanded.

“No, it’s not safe for anyone,” he snapped back. “But you I trust to actually kill someone, you can take care of yourself. Who knows what the fuck she would do if she gets picked up by fuckin’ raiders…” 

“Who knows what you would do if she gets picked up by fucking raiders, that’s what you mean,” she knocked back the rest of her drink. “I’m done with this shit, I’m done with your paranoia around Doc dictating our goddamn operation…” 

“When have I ever dictated a damn thing about our operation?” His jaw clenched. 

“How about when you told your brother, our partner, to leave town without consulting me because she got hurt?” She said. “Or when you killed not one but fucking two FEDRA guards in the QZ because you saw them as a threat…” 

“They were a fucking threat!” 

“Not to mention the time you made the call to leave me in the QZ when you took her outside the first time,” she snapped. “Even though you knew you’re a goddamn liability where she’s concerned! You need to get over this woman who you’ve had nothing to do with in damn near 15 years, Joel! She’s done with you, you need to be done with her. Fucking leave it.”

She went to leave but he followed her. 

“You take her out there and I’m not goin’,” he said. “End of story.” 

“Tell me what the fuck it is you want, Joel!” She yelled. “Because it sure seems like you don’t want to be anything to anyone. You didn’t want anything with me! It sure seemed like you could have had whatever you wanted with her and you didn’t take it and now you’re doing this and I don’t fucking understand you! Do you really think she’s just going to accept us not bringing her out anymore? That she’ll just listen to whatever the hell it is you tell her? Because you’ve got a funny taste in women if that’s what you’re after…” 

“She isn’t one of us, she doesn’t have to know when we go out!” He yelled. “No one says we have to involve her in shit, Tess…” 

“And when she asks?” She demanded. “When we need more medical gear?” 

“We bring Andrew out,” he said. Tess stood there for a moment, just blinking at him. “He talked to me few weeks back. Wanted me to consider bringing him instead of her, he’s worried too. He’s heard shit from other smugglers and guards about what it’s like out there. He’ll go, she’ll still get what she’s after and he will actually fucking look out for himself. Besides, the chances of raiders trying to grab him are a whole hell of a lot lower than with her.” 

“His wife know about this plan?” Tess asked, a bit calmer now. 

Joel shrugged. 

“Not my business.” 

She looked at him, shaking her head. 

“You better pray nothing happens to him,” she said. “Because if it does and she finds out it was your doing…” 

Joel shrugged again. 

“Long as she’s alive to hate me?” He said. “I don’t give a shit.” 

Tess sighed. 

“Fine,” she said, resigned. “Talk to Andrew. Tell Doc, don’t tell Doc, whatever. I’m done trying to make sense of your shit with her.” 

She stalked toward the door. 

“Going to the Speakeasy,” she said. “Appreciate it if you didn’t join.” 

Joel sighed. He could hardly blame Tess, not when she was right. He poured himself more whiskey. He’d never been able to find a balance he felt like he could survive with you. There was so close that it felt like he was on the edge of a cliff and gravity was winning. The feeling that he was inches from destruction. But then there was so far that felt like he was stretching and reaching, part of him always trying to get to you. It didn’t matter what else it strained, what else it hurt, there was the constant pull toward you. There was no middle ground. There was either too close or not close enough. 

He went to the clinic when he knew you’d be at school but Andrew still greeted him with a “She’s not here.” 

“That’s the point,” Joel said. “Here for you. Rather she not know. Have a minute?” 

Andrew flagged down a woman to watch the desk and led Joel outside the clinic. 

“Next run, I’m not takin’ her,” he said. “Still interested?” 

“Why the change?” Andrew frowned. “You weren’t going for that before.” 

“Raiders are getting bad,” he replied. “You and me they’d just kill. Her…” 

Andrew nodded. 

“Can’t tell her,” Joel said. “Not until we’re back, she’ll try to stop you going.” 

“Trust me, I know,” Andrew said. “Luckily, Doc is Doc and she keeps a thorough log of what meds she’s after and what’s she’s used. I won’t need to ask her for shit.” 

“We’re heading out this weekend,” Joel said. “It’ll be a few days. Make sure your wife’s on board.” 

He just nodded and Joel was thankful, once again, that you had a friend like Andrew. 

***

“Doc,” Ellie sighed dramatically, drawing the word out as she trudged into your classroom and flopped into a desk, putting her head down. “I’m so freakin’ bored.” 

“Hi, Ellie, I’m doing well, thank you for asking,” you smiled. “How are you?” 

She raised her head enough to glare at you before putting it back down. 

“If all I’m going to do is go shoot infected for FEDRA why do I have to know about verbs?” She asked. 

“Because everyone needs to know about verbs,” you replied. “Can’t read or speak without them.” 

“Can they make them less boring at least?” She lifted her head again. “Because right now they feel stupid as fu… something stupid.” 

“Want something not boring?” You asked. Her head shot up. You smiled conspiratorially. “I got you stuff.” 

“Oh fuck yes!” She winced. “Sorry. Heck yes?” 

You just laughed and went into your school bag, pulling out photo copies of books that were in libraries of other schools that Derek got you into when he’d go teach his photography course. Ellie came and stood in front of your desk, leaning over to see what you were grabbing. 

“Got this whole thing on black holes,” you said, handing her a packet. “This one on a probe that is still probably flying through space and should be past Pluto by now.” You gave her another packet. “And then this on roller coasters.” You gave her a magazine. 

“Hell yeah!” 

You gave her a look.

“What? I said hell,” she said. “That one doesn’t even count.” 

“Go sit in your corner you gremlin,” you rolled your eyes but smiled anyway. 

“Gladly,” she smiled, chin tilted up, and took her bundle of pages over to the beanbags. She started with the roller coasters as you put on a tape and started grading tests. 

“Hey Doc?” She said after a few minutes. 

“Hm?” 

“Did you ride roller coasters?” She asked. “Was that like… a thing everyone did or was it kind of special?” 

“Well,” you shrugged. “It kind of depended. Most people did at least once but it was still kind of special. There weren’t roller coasters near where I lived as a kid and my grandma didn’t have much money but I went to a theme park with a friend once when I was about your age. And a few times with a friend and his daughter when I was in college. I rode some roller coasters then. They were pretty fun but most of the time when you went to theme parks, you spent a lot of time waiting in line.” 

“Ew,” she crinkled her nose and went back to reading. 

“Hey Doc,” Riley trudged in. 

“Hi Riley,” you said, holding out the book she’d been reading when she came to sit with Ellie. She took it and went and plopped on the other beanbag chair. “Rough day?” 

She just grunted. 

“I’m here if you want to talk,” you said, going back to grading. 

You weren’t surprised when she didn’t take you up on it. Ellie was far more likely to talk to you than her older counterpart. She’d come to your classroom almost every weekday for the past two years. For a while, she was pretty quiet. She’d bring in her reading or take from the shelf and go sit in the corner. You didn’t press her. A few months in, she’d do more than ask you questions about her reading. She talked about her classmates, the issues with FEDRA teachers and administration, about the comic books she liked. You’d started looking for the series she mentioned when you went to the underground markets or were outside the QZ as well as books about space. She’d quickly become a bright spot in your day. 

Riley, on the other hand, had become more withdrawn the last few months. She’d never opened up to you the way Ellie had, but she seemed to like you better than her other teachers and she always put in an effort in class. But lately, she’d been tired, preoccupied. You’d tried talking to her but hadn’t gotten very far - something made all the more frustrating by the fact that you were pretty sure there was no one else at the school checking in with her. She was at risk of falling through the cracks of the system and you weren’t sure you were enough of a net to catch her. 

Derek was always trying to tell you that you couldn’t save everyone and, consciously, you knew he was right. But that didn’t stop you from trying. 

It’s part of why you’d pressed so hard working on your cordyceps treatment theory. It took years - literal years - of working with samples and trying different formulations but, earlier in the year you’d found something that actually seemed to work. The right chemical combination delivered in the right way and the samples didn’t grow. They stayed in the tissue where they’d been implanted, not stretching beyond it. 

“Do you know what this means?” You asked Elias, all but shoving your notes into his hands. “We could make it so a bite isn’t a death sentence. It’s not going to cure anybody but it can make it so people can leave the QZ, go near infected to wipe them out without needing to worry as much… I mean it still needs trials but…” 

“It’s a great idea,” he said, sounding exhausted. “But do you really think we’ll be able to get the powers that be to divert manufacturing to synthesize it? Let alone the process it will take to make the factories to produce the stuff?” 

“Elias, we’re talking about something that can start getting the world back,” you looked at him, baffled. 

“I know,” he clapped a hand on your shoulder. “And I’m telling you that I don’t know that there is a world to get back.” 

You just stared at him for a moment in disbelief. 

“I’ll run it up the chain,” he said. “But… I’m not optimistic.” 

He walked away, leaving you alone with your notes in your hands. 

So you did the next best thing you could think of. You found Marlene. 

“This is…” she looked through your pages. “I mean, I don’t know shit about the science of it but your tests…” 

“They’re not tests on living subjects,” you hedged. “I mean, in the before times we’d be years out from human trials but give that the bitten are pretty much dead men walking, if we can equip people going outside the walls with this stuff we can always just see if it works when the inevitable happens… It’s not a cure and it’s by no means a sure thing but it’s a start.” 

“I’ll take a start.” 

You weren’t able to get anything more out of Riley before the weekend and Andrew was out at work on Saturday, which made you oddly nervous. Marta said Jess said he was sick but something felt off. He’d been fine on Friday… 

Derek was convinced you were being paranoid but you still woke up feeling uneasy on Monday. 

Riley missed class entirely that day. Ellie looked particularly downtrodden at lunch but didn’t say much. When you asked if something was wrong, she just shrugged, looking distracted. 

Andrew was still missing when you got to work. 

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Derek said when he came to meet you that evening. “He probably just has the flu or something. I’m sure Jess would have gotten you if it were anything serious…” 

“You’re right,” you sighed. “I know you’re right. I just… something doesn’t feel right.” 

It set your teeth on edge. You couldn’t sit still, tapping your pen on charts when you had a patient, the front desk when you didn’t. 

“Can you not hover?” Marta asked. “I’m not Andrew, for me it’s just weird.” 

“Sorry,” you sighed when the front door of the clinic flew open and Tess and Joel came running in, all but dragging Andrew between them. 

Your eyes went wide. Andrew was covered in blood, his head hanging limp. You screamed for help as you ran for him. 

“What happened?” You frantically pulled at his clothes, trying to get to his skin. His face was pale and his eyes were closed. You looked back over your shoulder. No one else was coming yet. “Help me!” 

“We were almost back,” Tess said quickly. “Raiders came out of fucking nowhere, Andrew was in back…” 

You got the bloody shirt raised enough to see the bullet holes. You scrambled to stem the bleeding as Kristen and Lee came up from the back. You kept your hands on Andrew’s stomach, your skin turning red with his blood, trying desperately to hold him together. They started trying to move him and you moved with them, hands still on him, until someone held you back. 

“You can’t help him,” Marta’s voice was thick, wet. “You can’t do it, it has to be someone else…” 

“I can…” you reached for the doors but she held you in place. 

“You can’t,” she said. “You’re too close, you can’t.” 

You weren’t sure when you’d started sobbing but your face was wet and your vision was blurry and you were too covered in blood to do anything about it. You turned to Joel and Tess. 

“Why was he out there?” You asked. Tess looked at Joel. You raised your voice. “Why was he out there!” 

Tess looked at Joel again. He just stared at the ground. 

It was like something in you snapped. Everything you’d tied up in him for decades, everything you’d felt, everything you’d longed for, everything you’d imagined existed for yourself in another time and place and world with Joel at core of it. It broke open, spilling out of you in a rush. 

You shoved him. He didn’t move to stop you. 

“It’s you, it’s always fucking you!” You pushed him again. “Decided you were done seeing me so you dragged him into it!” You threw your entire body weight at him. He caught you and held onto you until you forced him back. “I can count on one FUCKING HAND the number of people on this planet who are happy I exist and you had to take him? You hate me that fucking much?” 

Joel’s eyes finally left the ground and met yours. He was was in so much pain you could almost feel it. You stopped pushing him. His shirt was covered in your bloody handprints. 

“He has a wife! He has kids! He fucking matters to people and you dragged him into this?” You were panting for breath, still crying. You didn’t think you could stop crying if you tried. “I’ve spent half my life in love with you, Joel, half my fucking life begging to matter to you and instead you just…” A sob choked you for a moment. “I wish I’d never fucking met you. I wish you never touched me. I wish you never called me that night I wish you never came to fucking Boston I wish you just got the fuck out of my life and left me alone!” 

You went to shove him again but arms appeared behind you and Derek pulled you back into his chest, holding you in place. 

“I hate you!” You snarled it at him. “I wish it had been you, it should have been fucking you!” 

He just stood there, staring at you for a moment as Derek held you tightly to him, before Joel turned and left. After a moment, Derek’s grip on you loosened. Your head spun. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tess was staring at you. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about…” 

“Fuck off, Tess,” you snapped. “You could have put a stop to it, you could have just not let him come…” 

“Not Andrew,” she shook her head, stepping close to you. “Joel. How dare you. The shit he’s done for you, the shit he’s gone through for you…” 

“For me?” You snapped. “No, it had nothing to do with me! It’s always been about him, Tess, and you’re a fucking idiot if you don’t see that.” 

“You could have walked away at anytime,” she all but snarled at you. “You could have actually stayed away from him, told him no when he fucking caved and you never did, you never fucking did…” 

“You think it’s my fault?” You snapped. “All his shit…” 

“You could have left him with me!” She yelled. She took a second to calm down. “You could have left him with me and you fucking didn’t. You just hung on…” 

“Of course I did,” you said, quieter now, too. “I didn’t have a choice.” 

She looked at you, the side of her shirt wet with Andrew’s blood. 

“I’ll go tell his wife,” she said. “I hope he makes it.” 

You felt unsteady on your feet and Derek’s arms went around you guiding you to a seat in the empty waiting room. You looked down at your hands, splotched with drying blood. Andrew’s blood. You stared at the wall. 

Jess came in. You weren’t sure how much time had passed but she was frantic. You stood up and she grabbed you, choking on her tears. You held her loosely, still in a daze, and she sat beside you, holding your bloody hand. Derek’s hand was on your back. You stared at the wall. You weren’t sure if you were really blinking. You weren’t sure time was passing. You weren’t sure how long you sat there. The blood on your shirt hardened as it dried. Jess’ hand stayed firmly in your own. 

Lee came out from the back and you and Jess jumped to your feet, hands still clasped tight. 

“It was close,” he said. “But he pulled through.” 

You didn’t really hear anything else Lee said after that. He let you back to see him and he was just coming around when you did, his eyes heavy and voice groggy. 

“What happened?” He managed after Jess had fawned over him for a minute.

“You were a dumbass who went outside the QZ,” you tried to sound upset about it but you were too happy to see him alive. “What were you thinking?” 

“Wanted to be the cool one for a change,” he smiled a little at you. You just rolled your eyes. 

“I’ll give you two a minute,” you leaned over and kissed his forehead. “But I swear to God Andrew you pull that shit on me again…” 

“I know, I know,” he said. “You’re the cool one and you’ll kill me to keep the title.” 

You went back to the waiting room. The clinic was closed but it was shortly before curfew and Derek was standing near the door. 

“Hey,” you sighed, coming over and pressing your forehead into his chest, expecting his arms to go around you. They didn’t. 

“He looking OK?” He asked. His voice was distant. You frowned. 

“Yeah,” you pulled back from him. “Everything OK?” 

He laughed darkly. 

“No, no I can’t say everything’s OK,” he shook his head. Your frown deepened. “Is Joel the reason you wouldn’t move in with me?” 

You froze. You had been so mad at Joel you’d forgotten that Derek was even there. Derek, who you’d never told about Joel. 

He pressed on. 

“Is Joel the reason that, when I asked if you thought about children, you said no?” He asked. “Jesus Christ, we’ve been together for almost seven years and you never thought to tell me you were in love with another man? A man you were regularly leaving the QZ with?” 

“Derek…” 

“Did you ever love me at all?” He looked like he was on the verge of tears. “Fuck, I tried to build a life with you!” 

“Of course I love you…” You were crying again. You weren’t quite sure when you started. “I just… It’s different and… Nothing happened with him, it’s been years, it’s been so long and…” 

“But you still loved him,” he said. “Right? You were still in love with him the whole time you were with me, right?” 

You didn’t say anything. You just tried to keep from sobbing. 

“That’s what I thought,” he ran a hand through his hair, turning away from you. “Fuck!” 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you I just…” 

“You just what?” He asked turning back to you. “You just thought you’d lie to me forever?” 

“I just thought I could love you,” you said. “I do love you, it’s just not the same as him but I thought… I thought it could be. That if I ever could with anyone it would be with you because I do love you, I want to love you that way, I want a life with you…” 

“Wanting it just isn’t enough,” he shook his head, a look of sad disbelief still on his face. “Especially not after you lied to me for half a goddamn decade. It’s just not enough.” 

“Derek…” 

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “I can’t do this, not with you. I hope you get what you want someday, I really do. But I can’t do this.” 

He left and you stared out the front door, into the darkness, for a while. You weren’t sure how long. Eventually, you walked in a daze to Andrew’s room. Jessica had her head down on one side of his bed, his hand on her head. You pulled up a chair to the other side of him. 

“Hey,” he whispered. 

“Hey,” you managed a smile. 

“20 years later and we’re still the codependency crew,” he smiled back. 

“Yeah,” you sat down and put your head down beside him. “We are.” 

Tuesday, August 15, 2023 

“You know you don’t need to keep coming over, right?” Andrew asked, smiling down at you from the couch, his head propped on his fist. “Don’t need as much help now…” 

“Who said I was coming over for your benefit?” You scoffed. You were lying on your back, baby Jonah - named for Andrew’s father - on your chest. He was big enough that he was just starting to run and it seemed like he wanted to do that and nothing else. You swooped the toddler toward your face and blew a raspberry on both cheeks before lifting him straight up overhead, making whooshing sounds. He giggled and clapped his chubby little hands. “I’m clearly just hanging out with my best friends.” 

Elizabeth came over and hung her head over your own, her curls bobbing as she cocked her head at you. 

“Auntie Doc,” she said, her voice very serious. “Did you know your teeth are bones?” “Are they really?” You said. “Thank you so much for telling me, that is very big news…” 

“We’re reading a book about the body,” Jess flopped on the couch beside her husband. “We learned about the skeleton today.” 

“OK sweetie, Auntie Doc’s arms are getting tired so you have to move so I can bring your brother in for a landing,” you said. Elizabeth scrunched her nose but obeyed, stepping to the side so you could bring Jonah back down to your chest. 

“Who needs the gym when you have tiny humans to lift, hm?” You kept a hand on Jonah while reaching out to tickle Elizabeth, who shrieked and giddily fled toward the other side of the coffee table. 

“Alright tiny ones,” Andrew clapped his hands on his legs. “Bed time, let’s go.” 

He got up - slowly - off the couch and you lifted Jonah so he wouldn’t need to bend all the way down to reach him. Elizabeth whined all the way down the hall. You smiled. 

“I know a lot of it didn’t work out but damn,” Jess sighed. “You’d be such an amazing mom.” 

Your heart clenched at that. 

“Thanks,” you said quietly. 

“Are you planning to stay here again?” She asked. You lifted your head to look at her. 

“I feel like you’re asking me not to,” you smiled a little. 

“Not exactly,” she crinkled her nose. “But Andrew had his follow up today with Lee and…” she glanced down the hallway before lowering her voice. “I really want to f-u-c-k my husband now that he’s cleared for it which is a little tricky with you there.” You laughed. 

“I mean I guess if you want to have THAT kind of relationship with the guy,” you said dryly. 

She laughed, too. 

“Look, I’m definitely not kicking you out,” she said. “Lord knows he probably cock blocked you enough through the years when I was outside the QZ for work. If you won’t be OK at home, stay here with us…” 

“No,” you sighed. “I need to get used to it.” 

You’d hardly been to your apartment since Andrew got hurt. You’d only slept there twice since outside a few naps here and there. Otherwise, you’d been at Andrew and Jess’ place. At first, it was to help with the kids. Or that was the excuse you told yourself, anyway. Andrew had barely even made it into the apartment after being released. He needed help doing everything for weeks and you wrangling the kids gave Jess the space she needed to take care of him. The clinic had all but removed you from the schedule while Andrew recovered, you coming by for a while on Saturday and Sunday but otherwise just teaching and helping them. You’d started going back for a few hours most days but you were still at Andrew and Jess’ place all the time otherwise. 

You knew your apartment was going to feel lonely. Not just because Derek was gone but because you’d smothered the loss with Elizabeth and Jonah and the feeling of being needed. It was time to get back to real life. 

“You’re sure?” She said. “Because I mean it, you can just move in if you want…” 

You laughed at that. 

“No,” you shook your head. “I’ll go home. It’ll be good for me, I need to start adjusting.” 

“Hey,” she said, making you look at her. “You know we love you right? Me, him, the kids? Because we do.” 

You smiled. 

“Love you too.” 

You were right, your apartment was lonely. The air was stale and everything had a fine layer of dust. You made a mental note to try to set aside time to clean the place the next day, it desperately needed some TLC. As you went to bed you sighed and opened the bedside table drawer. Below a few notebooks was the picture of you, Joel and Sarah. 

It hadn’t sat by your bedside in years now. You took it out sometimes to look at when you were home alone but it always went back in the drawer when you were done, tucked away. Your fingers traced the contours of their faces. You wondered what Sarah would look like now. She’d have been the same age Joel was when you first got together - a little older, actually. That was difficult to picture. 

It was hard to think of her in that way. She’d gotten stuck in time, forever nothing but potential. She hadn’t figured out what she wanted to be yet, so you had a hard time picturing her having a career - just images of her looking happy and successful. But you could picture her in a wedding dress, Joel walking her down the aisle with a proud smile on his face. Her cradling a tiny baby with his mother’s springy curls and his grandfather’s nose. Her giving advice to her little sister - now a teenager with long dark hair and her dad’s warm brown eyes - about how to survive college. 

It didn’t seem to matter how much Joel seemed to hate you, how much you desperately wished you could hate him, he’d been built into you somehow. You couldn’t shake him, no matter how hard you tried. 

You put the picture back in its spot beside your bed and tried to sleep, feeling more alone than you had since Joel left you before the outbreak. 

It wasn’t a deep sleep. When there was a quick, quiet knock at your door, you woke with a start. You frowned, glancing at the time. It was well after curfew. You got up and looked through the peephole and saw Ellie, huddled against your door. 

You fumbled with the locks, rushing to get the door open. She hadn’t been in class in a week, you’d asked several administrators where she was and no one would give you a straight answer. You’d gone by her room to check on her and she was nowhere to be found but she hadn’t taken much with her if she’d left. You were about to go to Elias and try to leverage what little FEDRA connections you had to see what records they had about where she’d gone, see if you could get to her. Riley had vanished, too, and you just prayed Ellie hadn't gone after her.

Instead, she’d shown up at your door. You’d given her your address and schedule months ago when she showed up in class with a black eye. 

“You ever feel unsafe,” you said. “Come to me. I will help you, I will drop whatever I’m doing and I will handle it, OK?” 

“OK,” she said. 

She hadn’t shown up with a black eye since. You hadn’t pressed. 

“Ellie,” you pulled her into your chest the second the door was open. Her eyes were teary. She looked exhausted. “Where have you been, what’s been going on? I’ve been asking administration where they sent you but…” 

“Doc,” she sniffed as she pulled back from you and held out her right arm. You gasped, your hand going to your mouth. There was a vicious bite there, the teethmarks deep in her flesh. “I’m in trouble.” 

A/N: AND WE'VE REACHED THE SHOW TIMELINE BUCKLE UP FOLKS!

Yes, everyone got super blown apart this chapter. That's the goal, they're at their most emotionally vulnerable just at the start of this big trip, it's going to be great and angsty and they're going to be forced to reckon with their shit because it's right at the surface heading into these extreme situations GET READY!

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Thank you so much for reading and interacting and getting into this story I decided to write one day. It means so much to me that you're invested in it and I love you all!

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10 @sloanexx @ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings @arizonadaydreamer @mumma-moonchild @blackroseguzzi @candypeaches16 @kittenlittle24 @wrappedinfiction @oatmeaiboy

[lunarmoonanons]

A sequel or maybe part 2 to the cursed dragon story where when allicent goes to attack Rhaenyra the reader attacks them instead

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕 Part 1: The Cursed Dragon

The Dragon Defender

Disclaimer: Let's say Aemma died giving birth to reader instead of living like in the last post. Can we vibe with that? So dragon hybrid reader is a year or two older than Aegon the usurper.

Cool? Cool.

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕

Masterlist

YN never liked Aegon or Aemond. She was never close with her half brothers, but she was close-ish to Helaena. She didn’t know what it was about them but she knew she didn’t like them. But they were family so she tolerated them. The same could not be said for her brothers who seemed weirdly obsessed with her. Aemond was for some reason obsessed with her dragon-like appearance and how she was a true dragon blooded Targaryen. Aegon was always talking about how she was beautiful, which she was but she didn’t want Aegon saying anything about her supposed beauty. 

YN really resented her step mother Alicent. She blamed her for not being her dead mother, for marrying her father, and for betraying her favorite sibling Rhaenyra. No matter how close Alicent tried to get with YN, YN resisted and bit back. She hated how Alicent abused Rhaenyra and whispered against her nephews. She very much counted Alicent and her sons as her enemies and would always mention how her half brothers were not true Targaryens as they had Hightower blood. 

All of the tension was building up to the fateful day of Lady Laena’s funeral. YN had not seen her uncle Daemon in years, having only met him when she was five. Him leaving a big impression on her. YN didn’t know Laena, but funerals and death usually made her sad. 

As Vaemond made his speech to Laena, YN stood by her sister Rhaenyra instead of by her father and his wife. YN couldn’t help but make her eyes wander around the gathering. She ignored Vaemond’s speech and found herself watching her uncle as he laughed at the speech. All of it was making YN uncomfortable, as she had to fold her scaly wings behind her back harshly so they lay flat against her back. Then her eyes found their way to her oldest nephew Jace. She caught onto Vaemond “subtle” jabs at something to do with trueborn children. YN never had to deal with accusations of illegitimacy. She was always seen as Aemma’s daughter. Even more so with her dragon appearance, as she was seen as the most true born dragon blooded Targaryen. 

When it was all over YN wandered around the gathering of people. Not interested in talking to anyone. She overheard many conversations, people making small talk and pleasantries. But No one caught her eye to talk to. Eventually she found her way to her sister. 

“I hate funerals.” YN sighed. “I hate death.” 

“You’ve not been to many funerals my love.” Rhaenyra smiled and played with a strand of YN’s silver hair. She was distracted and could feel the stare of Alicent and her dog Cole. 

“What occupies your attention away from your favorite sister?” YN laughed and tilted her head, following her sister’s gaze to her step mother. “Oh. Them.”

“Be kind, YN. You still have to live with her.” Rhaenyra said. 

“No I don’t. I could live with you in Dragonstone. I won’t live without you.” 

“Don’t do anything rash, YN. I’d love to have you with me, but I don’t want you to fall out with father.” Rhaenyra warned. 

YN sighed and kissed her sister on the cheek, then slinked away to find someone else to talk to. She could feel eyes on her. One of the pair being her uncle Daemon. She gave a small wave then found herself in front of her cousins, Baela and Rhaena. Both were younger and had never met her. So she knelt in front of them. Rhaena and Baela both wide eyed at the hybrid’s appearance. YN clocked Rhaena’s gaze on her horns.

So she grabbed the young girl’s hand and brought it to one horn. “You can touch. I don’t mind.”

“I thought you had freckles but they don’t look like freckles.” Baela said, reaching forward to touch the scales that spattered across the teenagers cheeks.

“Nope. They’re scales.”

“Can you fly?” Rhaena asked quietly. 

“I can go as high as any dragon. I breathe steam too. Maybe one day I’ll breathe fire.” YN grabbed a hand from each of them. “I lost my mother too. I never knew her like you knew yours so your pain is greater than mine. But I understand how you feel. If you need anyone I’m here.” 

YN kissed their foreheads and stood up to go. She noticed Jace coming over so she knew the girls would be in good hands. YN really wanted to lie down, but she had to make one more stop. So she found her father and started to walk over to him, but she found herself in the path of Aegon. He was so obviously drunk, YN couldn't help but sneer. 

“Get it together. Sod.” YN bit. 

“I’m to be married off. I’ll be married to Heleana. You’ll be rid of me just like you want.” Aegon whined to her, but YN couldn’t care and just pushed past him. 

Finally she found her father and gave him a tight hug. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for dearest?” He asked, rubbing his hand up and down her back.

“I’m tired father. I want to go lie down.” YN said avoiding the question. 

“Go ahead my dear, I will make your excuses.” He dismissed her. 

Finally YN made her way to a bed and fell asleep for a quick nap. It was nighttime when she awoke and started to wander around the large castle. It was quiet and she couldn’t find her nephews and cousins. Then she heard shouting and commotion, sounds of pain from the great hall so she entered and found the room divided. People were shouting at each other, well her nephews and cousins were shouting at Aemond, who YN saw had a jagged stitch across his face. His eye was missing. 

“Rhaenyra what is happening? What happened to Aemond and Luke?” YN asked. Standing by her sister. She didn’t know what was happening, but she knew her sister’s side was the right one. 

“Her devil children attacked me!” Aemond shouted, causing the boys and girls to shout back. YN glared at Aemond. A glare that said “you deserved it.”

“SILENCE!” Viserys shouted and calmed the room down again. 

“Aemond, I will have the truth of what happened.” The king walked to his injured son. “Now.”

“What else is there to hear?” Alicent asked, her frustration at the scene evident. “Your son has been maimed. Her son is responsible.” 

“It was a regrettable accident.” Rhaenyra interjected, placing her hand on YN’s shoulder. 

“Accident? The prince Lucerys brought a blade to the ambush. He meant to kill my son.” Alicent defended.

“It was my children who were attacked. My sons who had to defend themselves. Vile insults were levied against them.” Rhaenyra countered. YN started to push Luke away from the front.

She ignored the two and asked Luke Quietly if he was okay. 

“He called us Bastards.” Luke said loud enough for Viserys to hear. YN meanwhile turned her head immediately to Aemond and sent a harsh glare that made him almost shrink back into his chair. 

When Viserys questioned his son, YN kept that glare going. It became even harder when Aemond pointed the finger at Aegon. How YN hated them at the moment. She knew that she was going to kill them one day, or burn them harshly. She knew Aemond was lying and she knew Aegon still called her nephews bastards. 

“There is a debt to be paid.” Alicent said. “I shall have one of her son’s eyes in return.” 

YN pushed Luke behind everyone as Alicent commanded Cole to take one of his eyes. The room was alight in mutters saying the queen had gone mad. And how she couldn’t just take one of the prince’s eyes. It seemed though that her father would have none of it. Rhaenyra took Luke’s hand in her own and held him close. 

Alicent then grabbed a dagger and charged toward Rhaenyra and Luke intent on doing something terrible. Rhaenyra was ready to defend her son, but YN was quicker. YN jumped forth, one hand on Alicent’s wrist and the other dangerously close to her neck. Though YN was a few inches shorter she still held a strong front against Alicent. Alicent, who tried to say something to Rhaenyra. But got shot down by YN who dug her nails into Alicent, steam escaping her nostrils. 

“You’re no mother. You’re a pathetic woman hiding behind righteousness, now it’s all gone. Now people see you as you are. Dear mother.” YN whispered and shoved her off. 

Viserys watched solemnly. He knew what this would truly mean. That his daughter would stay on Dragonstone and be away from him. He could never say no to her, so he could never tell her to stay. Rhaenyra had a new defender now. A dragon. 

[kallamars-spouse]

In defense of my wife…

Disclaimer: I use she/her pronouns for Kallamar. Why? That’s a transfemme lesbian squid and she told me that while I killed her with a warhammer. 

I am also viewing this following essay through the lenses of the Bishops and their family and how they treat each other. This isn’t a defense of how they treat mortals, and isn’t about anything beyond Gods at all.

I understand why Kallamar would tell the Lamb to kill Shamura instead of her. I also think there’s more nuance to it than “omg she would sell out Shammy!” when Shamura is absolutely not blameless. None of the Bishops are. I’m the Bishops’ BIGGEST fan, but I’m not going to act like their family isn’t dysfunctional as all Hell. Now, let’s start from the top. 

The age order from eldest to youngest is Shamura, Kallamar, Narinder, Heket, and Leshy. We can tell in the game that Shamura’s favorite was Narinder simply due to the fact they still love him, refused to kill him when we know it’s possible, and kickstarted an entire extinction of a species to ensure he would never be free- but that he would be alive. 

x

From Narinder’s dialogue, we can deduce that he hates Kallamar the most. 

“Kallamar was always a coward. This land is a better place now her pathetic, sniveling carcass is nothing more than a mound of rotting flesh.“

This isn’t elaborated upon, but his words after her death are downright the most vicious. Narinder says that his older sister was ALWAYS a coward.

Shamura also says this about Kallamar, and as the eldest they would’ve known her longer than Narinder has.

“Kallamar was always frightened of the Red Crown. Yes, fear made a coward of her.”

This implies that not only was Kallamar not always what we see her as, but that Shamura believes her to be afraid of the Red Crown itself. Yet, this is what Kallamar says.

“It seems you cannot be stopped by disease or hunger. And he sends you back from death stronger each time. Please know, it was not my idea to cast out the Red Crown! The other Bishops, my siblings, the blame lies with them. Please, I beg you, spare me. Kill Shamura, but do not send me to my death. Do not send me to him!”

Kallamar acknowledges that neither she nor Heket could stop the Lamb, and that she doesn’t believe she could win against them. That’s why she begs for mercy. 

She states that locking Narinder up wasn’t her idea.

At this point in the story if you kill them in the canon order, Leshy and Heket are already dead. Kallamar throwing them under the bus does not matter, as she knows they are dead. 

Lastly, Kallamar expresses fear over Narinder. The Red Crown isn’t what scares her. Death isn’t what scares her. It is Narinder himself.

x

Shamura is the one who made the call to lock Narinder up, as they directly state themself.

“Though no longer wise, I am no fool. I know the end draws near. I can take some comfort in confession. The blame hangs heavy 'round my neck. I introduced him to ideas of change; for my domain is knowledge, and it is ever evolving. An organic state of being for myself, but for him… most unnatural. Death cannot flow backward. It was I who had him chained. Forced into subjugation by the four of us.”

It was not a group decision. It was Shamura’s word, and their siblings obeyed them without question. They blame themself, as they’re the one who was letting him “explore” his domain. Since it’s implied that reversing death (for example, resurrection) is heresy, only then did they step in. I assume after this, perhaps Shamura plotted to chain him, Narinder discovered, and that’s why he struck first. Or he directly attacked due to Shamura and the others “turning against him”, and that’s why he was imprisoned. We aren’t told exactly. 

All we know is the Bishops have injuries, but Narinder does not. There’s no way in Hell that he could take them on all at the same time, nor that he could beat Shamura or Kallamar. Both of them are more powerful than he is. You could argue that Kallamar wouldn’t fight back, but that would ignore her violence towards the Lamb (who she was terrified of). Shamura is the Bishop of War, and they wouldn’t have willingly let Narinder attack them. Heket sure as Hell wouldn’t have let Narinder get away unscathed if he attacked her head on. Leshy is the only one who wouldn’t have stood a chance.

This makes it seem like he stalked and attacked them while they weren’t aware. 

x

So, we know why Narinder did what he did. He said he was betrayed. But we also know that it was Shamura’s idea to imprison him, so why did he target his entire family? 

This I believe was out of spite for Shamura themself, as they were obviously devoted to their siblings. 

They’re willing to fight the Lamb, knowing they’d be slaughtered, simply in the honor of the other three Bishops. 

They kept Narinder alive because they couldn’t bear to kill him. They even brought two innocent children to him so that he wouldn’t be “lonely”.

They already know what’s to come, but they still show up to Anchordeep to send enemies the Lamb’s way just to buy Kallamar more time to live.

They always appear by their siblings’ sides when they confront the Lamb, save for Kallamar. They still are there though, just in the background.

x

Back to Kallamar. This squid could’ve hopped into the ocean and left. She chose not to, even though she was terrified. She doesn’t attempt to fortify the door to her temple. She flat out tells the Lamb where she’ll be. She has her weapons already on her by the time they arrive.

I just feel like if you don’t give a fuck, you wouldn’t do all that. Why is it just assumed that she is selfish and didn’t love her siblings? Because she was terrified and saying anything to avoid being sent to Narinder? 

Would you want to be sent to your abusive relative who despises you? 

Would you not feel a bit angry that your eldest sibling would choose to keep this absolute lunatic alive, even against common sense and the safety of yourself and your younger siblings.

Would you feel a sense of blind loyalty to someone who values your ABUSER over you? 

Kallamar was afraid of Narinder before he ripped her ears off. Why is that? You aren’t just terrified of somebody for no reason. 

The Lamb kills her younger siblings. 

Kallamar knows she will be sent straight to him, condemned to eternal suffering.

Like what are we expecting from her? “Ah yeah, this is fine. I’m fine. I’m not upset at all that my enabler of a sibling chose an abuser over me, refused to put him down after he revealed himself to be unhinged, and forced me and the others into a wild goose chase concerning sheep. I’m not at all bothered that my baby siblings have been slaughtered and that I’m next. Me personally? I’m chilling!”

🙄 Y’all always on this “Narinder redemption”, WHAT ABOUT KALLAMAR? Why isn’t she allowed grace? The Bishops aren’t good creatures, but neither is their brother. We should acknowledge that and acknowledge the nuance. 

This post was brought to you by my homoerotic devotion for Kallamar and my long history of living in an abusive, dysfunctional household.