#but in this case they do all look queerer than the others

[blinkbones]

Why is Andromeda Island gay island. Look at the three of them in their clubbing armor.

[driftward]

Title: The Disappearance of Apple Silverberg Characters: Zoissette Vauban, Ryssthota Sundstyrwyn, Apple Silverberg Rating: Teen Summary: Apple's gone missing and there's a killer loose in the Twelveswood. Can Gage Acquisition's very own agent of inquiry crack this case before something horrible happens? Notes: Part of an ongoing series being written by my friend Darlain, base master post here

Ryss frowned. She'd greeted Zoissette when arriving at the workshop before settling down to focus on her latest set of equations, leaving the other woman to her own devices. But then Zoissette had made a beeline for Apple's area in the workshop, which while not against any formal rule, was, at least, kind of rude. She watched her for a few moments as Zoissette ducked down over Apple's desk, beginning to rifle through drawers and picking through various tools.

"What are you doing, Zo?" she asked at last.

"Have you seen Apple?" asked Zoissette.

"No."

"Weird, right?"

Ryss paused, and thought about it for a moment.

"Not really?" she said, finally. "We're adventurers, Zoissette, and Apple likes to go on those long sojourns into secured Allagan territory looking for materials for her work."

"Of course, of course," said Zoissette. She had found some kind of notebook, and was flipping through it quickly.

"...that's Apple's stuff," said Ryss, keeping her tone even. Working in the Assessor's Guild had taught her patience with the queerest of arcanists, and her friend was queerer than most.

"Ignore the last couple of sennights. Where has she been spending most of her time before then?"

"...well, she was helping out taking care of you," said Ryss. Zoissette had been in a bad way after a misadventure in the rift between realms and had needed to be nursed back to health. "And when she was not in the infirmary, she was in here, working on something that'd help you."

"Right. Right! She has been reliably in the same place, for several sennights, up until very suddenly she was not. Did not sign out, did not check with anyone, did not say goodbye to anyone near as I have found out. Wait. Did she say goodbye to you?"

"No..."

"No," echoed Zoissette.

"Zoissette," said Ryss.

"Right. Not to you, not to me, not to anyone else on the science team. Maybe to Y'zel, but he has vanished as well. Though Y'shtola has assured me to not worry about him. Still though. Just suddenly gone. Unusual break in pattern."

Zoissette frowned as she traced her fingers along a few lines in the notebook she had found.

"Have you tried linking to her?" asked Ryss.

"Naturally. You try. Maybe mine got fried during the time in - well. Maybe it got scrambled on some links without me knowing."

Ryss held a hand up to her linkpearl and tried to contact Apple through it, watching as Zoissette began to examine some device Apple had been working on.

The door to the workshop opened, and Yesuntei walked in, followed closely by a Wood Wailer. The linkpearl was making the noise that indicated it could not establish a connection, so Ryss gave up on it and turned to greet the newcomer.

"Visitor for Zoissette," said Yesuntei politely.

Zoissette looked the Wood Wailer over. So did Ryss. Elezen gentleman of some sort, wearing the typical green leather armor of one of their lancers. The very image of a typical member of the forest force.

"Foreseer Vauban?" he asked.

Ryss glanced over and saw Zoissette's forehead crinkle and her eyes flutter as she tried to affect some kind of specific facial expression, what, Ryss did not know. Zoissette gave up and wiped her face with a hand after a moment as she stood up and walked over.

"Not in some time, no."

"But... you are, or were, her, yes?"

Zoissette nodded, and he continued. "Ah, blessings of the elementals upon us all today. We've heard about your prowess for investigation, and you come highly recommended. Now, I know Gridania is a different sort of place, but I rather suspect we're dealing with a different sort of problem that's beyond my people just now. We think we may have a killer on the loose. I was hoping that we'd be able to hire your services as an adventurer to come take a look."

Zoissette looked over at Ryss, who shrugged in response, then back to the Wood Wailer.

"Begging your pardon, but I have no idea how I would have gathered such a reputation. Having said that, Gage Acquisitions does offer several adventurer hiring packages, and... uhm..."

She looked over at Ryss.

"...and, uhm, you will need to work through Ryss for them."

Ryss grinned at the man.

"Ah, but I was rather hoping for your attention, Foreseer Vauban."

"And you will have it," said Zoissette. Ryss watched as she tucked several things of Apple's away, from notebooks to tools to a device that she did not recognize. "However, contracts will need to go through her, as I am currently, uhm-"

"She's currently working on a project under me!" said Ryss, covering for her awkward friend.

The Wood Wailer did not look very certain at that, but he nodded.

"Yesuntei, kindly make the arrangements, if you would, I'm sure we can both spare the Wailers some of our time." Ryssthota continued.

"Certainly," the Au Ra said, gesturing at the Wood Wailer. He held his arms parallel to each other in front of him in the salute that was particular to Gridania, and then followed Yesuntei out.

"The game's afoot?" said Ryss.

"What game?" asked Zoissette, blinking at her. Ryss just laughed as she closed up her book, and went to grab her hat.

It was many bells and a couple of corpses later. The Wood Wailers had signed them on to the job officially, and had escorted them, first to look at the body of a man found in town, then to the body of a ziz whose injuries bore a striking resemblance to those of the man. Both sites were grisly, telling similar tales. Both bodies had been maimed, each looking as though they had been attacked with some kind of large bladed weapon or weapons.

As they had travelled, the Wood Wailers had shared the stories of similar incidents throughout the Twelveswood. Other bodies had been found over the intervening moons before hand. Many but not all of them were Spoken, and the Wood Wailers had found the bodies of both man and beastkin that had shown similar signs of mutilation, and brought these stories to the attention of the investigation as well.

Zoissette had not spoken much, and so Ryss had been left to ask questions. Where the bodies had been found, who had last seen them, anyone who might have talked to the victims before they died, things of that nature. Zoissette had mostly walked around and looked and taken notes, every once in a while reaching up to try to tap the rim of her glasses, which she of course did not have, and often winding up just thwapping herself in the nose instead.

It might have been funny if not for the circumstances.

Ryss wandered up to her as she was crouched, sprinkling some arcane powder over the site, and watching as its color shifted. Ryss crossed her arms and frowned, looking out into the forest. Nearby, Meya was looking up into the forest canopy, her eyes half-lidded. Zoissette had asked for her to help. As a Hearer, her ability to commune with the elementals might provide information they otherwise would not be privy to. As Zoissette examined the drifts of the arcane powder, Meya lowered her staff, apparently having finished communing with the spirits.

"The elementals are cautiously calm, and are not very upset on the matter," she declared. "Whatever it is, it is not unduly balancing the wood. They are unable to tell us who or what is behind these attacks, but they do know it is the same entity for both. Given some time to visit the other sites, they may be able to tell me more about the other similar scenes that the Wood Wailers report have occurred elsewhere in the Twelveswood. They say we are dealing with a creature of significant depth - I think maybe they are talking about its aether? - but not one they see as a threat to the woods as a whole."

Ryss nodded thoughtfully while Zoissette scribbled some notes.

"Almost want to say we have some kind of vengeful vigilante sort out here. None of the victims were well liked. Hells, other than the one drunkard actually found in town, none of them are even part of what I would call civilization," said Ryss.

"If so, it is an outsider of some sort pursuing what they see as justice," said Zoissette thoughtfully. "Gridanians are insular. In many ways worse than my own people. Think about it. They have a poaching and bandit problem, sure, but everyone knows everyone else here, usually with pretty small degrees of separation. This is not Limsa Lominsa, where a lone killer might have it out for a rival pirate crew, or Ul'dah where they're spread out and family lines are weaker. No, if you kill a bandit in Gridania, you are very likely killing someone's brother or sister."

"Oh. And that could mean bad blood between neighbors."

Zoissette looked thoughtful. "Right! But I do not think this is that. If vigilantism or some gesture at misguided justice, why bother with the beastkin, then?"

"I was wonderin' that. Killer got hungry, perhaps?"

"Too much meat left behind for that, and the Wailers pointed out that no body found yet has been even so little as field stripped. Consider the patterns we do have. The fact that the bodies are completely undressed leaves out poachers or hunters. They would want to harvest at least some of the material from the beastkin, leather, meat, useful bones and organs. I think we can also rule out a vigilante. A vigilante would not bother with killing beastkin. And further I think they would leave the bodies somewhere more conspicuous if they wanted to send a message."

"More conspicuous? The bodies are plenty obvious."

"Obvious, to be certain! No effort was made to display them, but also, no effort was made to hide them, either. The killer did not care if they were found. A vigilante, I would think, would either want to hide their tracks, so that they could get away with their grisly task for as long as they possibly could, or so as not to tip their hand as to what they are up to. Or, or! Or they would display the bodies prominently, so as to send a message."

Ryss looked thoughtful for a moment. "...but our killer has done neither. I noticed that myself. The bodies weren't moved at all. No drag marks. Just left to drop where they were killed."

Zoissette nodded.

Ryss returned the gesture. "That rules out the easy options, and explains why the Wailers are hiring outside help."

"It does. We have a few more left, however. Our killer left behind meat, but that does not mean they did not feed."

Zoissette gestured at the thin coloring of the arcanist powder she had spread as it drifted through the air. Ryss looked at it thoughtfully.

"Aetherical signatures?"

Zoissette nodded. "I used this powder in some investigations in Mor Dhona, and have made some adjustments to its capabilities. Like you say, normally it is useful for seeing someone's aetheric signature. I wanted to see if perhaps we could get a read on any spell work that had been used - if nothing else, we might be able to match it to a known spell caster, should we ever get any potential suspects. But, look - I will want to go back to the workshop and get a set of goggles from Sharlayan to confirm it, but there is more to aether than just its signature. There is also its density."

Ryss crossed her arms, and frowned.

Zoissette reached up for her glasses rim again, and again wound up just thwapping her nose. She did not seem to notice, however, and Ryss thought she caught a glint of purple in Zoissette's otherwise brown eyes.

"And each of our victims has an unusually low aetheric density."

"Uhm. Are... you sure about that, Zo?"

"Like I said. I would like to confirm that with equipment from the workshop. Or perhaps Meya's invisible friends can weigh in?"

"I can ask," said Meya, who had patiently been listening the entire time.

"Please do so. And check in with the other sites. Say, do the elementals have a concept of time?"

"Sort of," said Meya. "Or at least, enough for us to get impressions. They do experience time, just a little different from us, but similar enough. Why do you ask?"

"Hmn," said Zoissette. "See if you can get a sense of when each of the attacks occurred. Little interested in time of day. Very interested in calendar dates. Approximations will be fine, I do not expect them to know what a calendar is, but surely they can approximate the number of times the sun has gone past since an event happened?"

Meya nodded slowly. "I... think I can manage that. I will need some time. This is neither fast nor simple."

Ryss just looked at Zoissette oddly as the other woman stood up and stretched her back.

"I believe you have it. Thank you, Meya. Meet us back at the workshop?"

Meya nodded, and moved off. Ryss walked over to look over Zoissette's shoulder, to see that she was tracing a finger over dates she'd written down, of when each of the bodies had been found. Ryss frowned lightly.

"I don't see a pattern," she said.

"Of course not," murmured Zoissette. She tapped the dates each. They were the days on which the Wood Wailers had found one of the grisly scenes, including the most recent one. "How long do you think a body lasts out in the Twelveswood before scavengers get to it? Three days at most, you think?"

"Sure?"

Zoissette nodded, and flipped over to a calendar, in which she made marks on each of the dates, along with little red marks three days behind each of them.

"So that means it is entirely possible that a body would be gone before a Wailer patrol could find it and identify it. Consider also - they have told us of the bodies they found matching the pattern we see here with these two, the ziz and the man. But they will not always be able to identify a body as matching that pattern if the scavengers do get to it first. Lot of death in nature."

Zoissette thoughtfully made some more marks.

"I suspect Meya may be able to confirm this... but look. There is no pattern, but if you put a few additional data points in - one emerges. I think Meya is like to confirm this."

Zoissette handed the notes to Ryss, and Ryss looked. With Zoissette's additional marks, a pattern did emerge.

A semi-regular schedule. About once a month, an attack occurred, rarely more than a few days off in either direction.

Ryss quirked an eyebrow, and looked at Zoissette, but Zoissette just shook her head.

"Probably nothing for now. Just keep it in mind as we gather more evidence."

Ryss looked at the body. "So what are you thinking, then? A voidsent?"

Zoissette frowned lightly. "I am not sure. It would fit, except that voidsent, while common in the Great Wood, are generally not so messy. This speaks to a powerful voidsent, if it is."

"Right," said Ryss, thinking back to what they had already found. "Yeah, most of the places where it looked to be a fight, wasn't much of a one. Doesn't look like anybody even had much of a chance to run."

"Which is unusual. Consider. How could a voidsent get that powerful and go unnoticed? And most voidsent that are that powerful will want to continue to go unnoticed, lest people like us get called in to deal with them. Or if it is not that smart, why is the last site from over a sennight ago, then? Did it suddenly get shy?"

"A period of terror, then a sudden stop," said Ryss, thoughtfully. "Maybe somebody dealt with it already. Or maybe the conditions were good for it to be here, then suddenly they weren't."

"Maybe," said Zoissette, sounding doubtful. "Well, there is little more for us to learn out here, I think. Can I ask you to verify that aetheric density theory of mine?"

"Sure thing," said Ryss. "What are you going to do in the meantime?"

Zoissette tucked her equipment away. "I am going to go visit Apple. Last I was aware, her houseboat had an aetheryte on it."

Ryss fixed Zoi with a long look. "This isn't the first time she's dashed off to chase some Allagan ruin rumor without notice. But you're fixating. Why?"

Zoissette looked away, worry clearly written on her face. Ryss rested a hand on her shoulder.

"...I want to give her my thanks for looking over me," said Zoissette, quietly. "And I am worried about her. Is this not just like what happened to me? Everyone just assumed I was fine until suddenly I was gone and it was obvious I was not. And maybe this is better than sitting on my own thoughts too long and too much. Again."

Ryss took in a deep breath, and nodded. "...yeah. Okay. You're right. Wait up and let me take those readings first and I'll go with you. Maybe it's all these bodies making me nervous, but I'm starting to get worried too."

Zoissette looked up at her and smiled. "Thanks, Ryss."

"Don't mention it. Or do. Preferably when someone asks about it for my next performance review."

Zoissette gave as short laugh, and Ryss grinned at her.

It did not take Ryss long to confirm Zoissette's theory. She was not sure how Zoissette knew, but examining each of the bodies with the Sharlayan aetheric goggles had confirmed what she had said. The aether of each of the bodies was far thinner than it should have been, even beyond the usual veil of death. They had been drained, and for what, she did not know. And despite what Zoissette had said, she still rather suspected a voidsent.

Something large, with claws like blades.

She met Meya back at Headquarters. The woman was all smiles, despite the grimness of her task.

"The elementals were cooperative. I was only able to get vague impressions from them, but the same thing has been in the Twelveswood before, and is responsible for the bodies found. And a few others aside. They cannot describe it to me, but it is distinct to them. They're a little worried about it, but not very, not yet - not enough to take action. I hope we're catching it before it becomes a problem."

Ryss nodded as Meya handed her a sheet of paper. "And here's the dates of the other attacks, as near as I could manage. The way they describe time is different than how we experience it, but it's like we like to say amongst the Hearers - the land has a long memory."

Ryss nodded, and checked over the dates.

"Huh," she said. "She was right. There was a pattern."

Meya nodded thoughtfully. And then tilted her head up at Ryss. "How is she holding up? After the breakup?"

Ryss blinked.

"She hasn't said anything about that."

"Oh. Oh! Uhm. She kind of just blurted it out when we were speaking earlier, but if she hasn't brought it up with you, then maybe nevermind then."

Ryss just groaned, and Meya patted her on the shoulder.

"Well, look after her, will you?" said Meya.

"Of course," said Ryss, rubbing at her head.

Well, at least Zoissette had found an arguably healthy outlet for her anxieties this time, she supposed.

She and Zoissette arrived at the houseboat in the same teleportation spell, Ryss taking the lead so as not to tax Zoissette's anima. The teleportation energies dissipated around them both and the world faded in rapidly as they arrived on Apple's houseboat.

Odd. This was not where Apple usually docked it.

Zoissette was off, quickly. Ryss kept a careful eye on her as she and Ryss took several moments to wordlessly walk around the top deck. The houseboat was moored, but had been abandoned for some time. The hatches were all battened down, and the windows and front door had all been warded and secured quite firmly.

"Guess she's not here," said Ryss.

"And did not expect to return," said Zoissette. "Examine the wards again."

Ryss looked at them carefully, this time paying more attention to the arcanima techniques that had been used to make them.

"...huh," she said. "No, I see what you mean. Static, shouldn't need maintenance for a while, and with a secondary arcanima array makin' sure they keep aether stable without needing more crystals than were used to bring them up in the first place."

"And the rest of the ship - you worked in the Maelstrom, same as me. Look at how the mooring lines have been done, the hatches, and the bilge overflow lineup."

Ryss checked again. Everything had been set to stay, rather than a more convenient setup that would make more sense for docking if the owner had, in fact, intended to come back.

"...this is more than just a gone-for-holiday setup," said Ryss.

"Indeed. I suspect you have rarely seen this setup; I know I have only seen it once or twice. This boat has been abandoned in place. Getting it properly seaworthy again would take bells, but with this setup, it will float for moons, possibly even summers, assuming a storm does not smash it."

Ryss put her hands on her hips and scanned the water, frowning as she thought. "Why the hells would she do such a thing?"

Zoissette just made a noncommittal noise, and Ryss turned to see the woman crouched down, fiddling with the front door.

"We can't break in just because we're worried," Ryss protested.

"No?" said Zoissette.

"Zoissette."

Zoissette sighed, and stopped what she was doing.

"Come on. Even if we're worried, there are other things we can do before we break into her house. Ask one of the spies to look into it. Ioh, Iyna, Nyx, they're all good at tracking people down."

Zoissette was quiet for a moment. Ryss decided now was as good a time as ever to bring it up.

"Dumped Mathye, eh?"

"This is not about that," Zoissette protested. Then she sighed. "...but yes," she admitted, letting her shoulders sag a bit as she leaned against the door.

"Better than stringing him along when you know it ain't happening. Chase your bliss, girl!" said Ryss.

Zoissette let out a breath. "Okay. Yes. I know it was the right thing to do. But it hurts. And he is hurting. And everything hurts. And I did not want to hurt him but I did and right now I would rather stay focused on Apple and hope she is okay."

Ryss nodded, and patted Zoissette on the shoulder. "It was a clean break. Nothing wrong with that. Clean wounds heal properly."

Zoissette blinked a few times at that, and a quizzical kind of frown crossed her face, as her eyes darted back and forth as she thought before she looked up at Ryssthota.

"...that is not a perspective I had considered," she said. "You are right."

Zoissette turned her attention back to the door, took a deep breath in, and let it out slow, her stance strengthening once more.

She was going to be alright.

"Atta girl. Now let's see-"

Ryss stopped suddenly. Zoissette was no longer fiddling with the door, but had been leaning against it, apparently resting her hand rather heavily on its latch. Apparently, because it was hard to say what she had thought she saw happened.

She was fair certain Zoissette's arm had faded and gone through the door for a moment.

She was not sure though, because in the next instant, the door had suddenly opened, and Zoissette had fallen into the houseboat.

"Zo!"

"I'm alright! I am alright! Sorry, just - startled."

Ryss rushed over and looked in to see Zoissette sprawled out on the floor, looking around the place and blinking owlishly.

"What the hells just happened? Zo, what'd you do?"

"I did not do anything! The door must have opened from the inside."

Ryss leaned over and looked around inside carefully, her mind starting to reach for Glitterdust to summon the fairy. If there was anyone inside, and they were not Apple, she intended to meet them with axe and magic.

But as she looked, there was no movement, no noise, no nothing. Just Zoissette starting to pick herself up off the floor, and Ryss herself.

"Well, since we are in here anyroad," said Zoissette.

"...right," said Ryss.

They took a bell to search the houseboat. It did not particularly need to take that long, as the houseboat was not all that large, as houseboats often were not, but they were thorough, checking under things, in the overhead, behind every stick of furniture and in every drawer. Zoissette found some notes of Apple's quickly and had split her attention between reading them and helping search.

Zoissette's focus was different, now. Less frenetic, now. Ryss was pleased at the change, as she went to confirm what they had already learned from the outside.

Namely, that the houseboat had been set to be abandoned in place. None of its equipment was set up for sailing, ceruleum had been drained, pipe systems had valve lineups set up for abandonment, wards set, everything locked, tied down, or otherwise secured.

"Nobody's here," said Ryss at last.

"And has not been in some time," agreed Zoissette. She was fiddling with one of Apple's drawers, using the arcane powder again. Whatever she saw caused her to frown.

"Find something?"

"...nothing that I want to say is conclusive," said Zoissette. "The bottom of this drawer has an arcane seal though. Fiendishly complicated.

"...wish I had Lavender," she murmured softly.

"I have Glitterdust," offered Ryss.

"Glitterdust is more frontline combat oriented. Lavender and I had advanced cryptographic arithmetics, since we delved deep into Nym research data. Wait. Hang on."

Zoissette pulled out the familiar arcanist's quill and inks, reaching into the drawer, beginning to draw geometries. Her eyes had that odd purple glow to them again, this time Ryss was certain of it.

"I might remember enough to do this without her," Zoissette was murmering quietly. Ryss wanted to ask her about the glow, but also did not want to break her concentration.

"There!" said Zoissette, doing something Ryss could not see, but a moment later she came up with journals. She flipped one open to read it.

"Zoi?" asked Ryss.

"Diaries," said Zoissette. "Here. I do not want to pry into her personal life overmuch, but..."

Zoissette gestured for Ryss to get closer, and then waved a hand at the little arcane powder that was left in the drawer.

"...no," said Ryss.

Zoissette nodded. "It is not identical, but there are too many similarities to discount, between the patterns and colors. Here. Let me try again. Go test some on her wards."

Zoissette handed a small pouch of the arcane powder to Ryss. Ryss nodded, and quickly began testing it on various wards around Apple's home. Questions about Zoissette's oddness could wait.

The results were quick and obvious. Ryss returned to Zoissette, who had begun reading through the diaries.

"Signature is close to the one we found in the Twelveswood," said Ryss.

"Aspects are slightly different, but the baseline is the same," agreed Zoissette. "Did you know she was working on a method of restoring my aetheric density?"

"I knew she was working on something to help you. I wasn't able to keep up with what. I was trying to tend to and repair the laboratory."

"And her diary entries talk about a condition she has," said Zoissette, softly. "The need to hunt animals. About once a month. She shifted to Azys Lla at some point to handle it."

Zoissette handed the journals to Ryss, who took them and looked through them cautiously. Zoissette had a haunted expression on her face.

"She has a research lab in Azys Lla," said Ryss. "We helped her set it up. Maybe she's just working on something else to help?"

Zoissette frowned, then shook her head, slowly.

"I think something has gone very wrong."

"Do we go after her, then?"

"Absolutely," said Zoissette. Then a moment later, more forcefully, "Yes. Yes, absolutely. Contact Erick or Dark. Whoever answers, let them know we might need a full team. Mix of heavy assault, assault picket, and support, two squads worth. While he works on that, we need to find her. I am going to contact Nyx and Klynt. We will go in as a light search and rescue party to begin with, see if we can find her."

"What do you think has happened?" asked Ryss, as her hand went to her linkpearl.

"I dare not speculate without more evidence," said Zoissette. She opened her mouth as if to say more, then shook her head, and she began placing her own linkpearl calls.

~*~

It was scarcely a bell later, and they were walking across the unusual landscape of Azys Lla, heading towards Apple's laboratory. Ryss was careful as she walked along, keeping an eye out, axe in her hands. She had not summoned Glitterdust - not yet - but the stone that held the little fairy was tucked into a pocket. Klynt was with her, with her long and deadly naginata on her back. Zoissette had her gunblade and was leading the way with Nyx, who had elected to serve as their spellcaster.

She saw Zoissette headtilt just a little at the same time one of Nyx's ears twitched and rotated, and both of them snapped to turn their gaze to the same place at the same time. Ryss and Klynt stopped and settled into a fighting stance, Klynt watching the other direction while Ryss tried to see whatever it was the other two had seen.

"Unknown contact, rank four aetheric signature, indeterminate nature, one hundred and fifty yalms at two hundred and eighty five by minus fourteen," said Nyx in their characteristic monotone. "Line of sight broken. Contact lost."

Ryss murmured to Zoissette, "Did you see it?"

Zoissette shook her head. "I - I am not sure what I saw. Nothing, possibly. Quickly, let us get to the lab - I want to use the arcane powder there, and see if Nyx can determine anything from the signature."

"Right," said Ryss. The party was quick to hurry on to Apple's lab. Periodically Zoissette would look around, as though she had caught sight of something, Nyx's ear twitching often at the same time, but Zoissette would only shake her head and ignore whatever it was as they continued on.

At Apple's lab, Klynt and Zoissette took to watching the perimeter while Ryss sprinkled the arcane powder on some of Apple's experiments. She watched as the colours and patterns fell out of the swirling dust.

"Same as we saw on the houseboat and in the Twelveswood," she called over to Zoissette.

"Nyx, compare and cross reference to the contact, and report," called back Zoissette.

Nyx stared for a few moments before responding.

"Signature patterns recognized. Match with limited data from unknown contact at thirty-two percent confidence," said Nyx.

"Is that high or low?" asked Ryss.

"Hard to say," said Zoissette, coming closer. "Nyx has senses neither you nor I possess, but Azys Lla interferes with them."

"I will be able to use this data to assist in locating the entity using the Azys Lla facility sensors once I am able to interface with a command and control station," said Nyx.

"I don't like this," mumbled Klynt. "Bad feeling on the wind."

Ryss frowned and looked out over the landscape.

"Alright. Let us move quickly, then. Nyx, lead us to the nearest station. I want to try to avoid contact with the entity until we have secured that station. And avoid the local life forms for now - they are additional trouble we can do without," said Zoissette.

The group all nodded, and moved efficiently as one. Azys Lla was a dim place, some aspect of the facility always generating a thick cloud that obscured it from the outside and gave it a dark foreboding haze. Strange plants grew from the ground and stranger creatures wandered its spaces, and yet, despite that, the place somehow felt lifeless. Or worse, faintly malevolent, as though it would snuff any life that fell short of its unreasonably lethal expectations.

The command and control station was a simple dome like structure, one of many that could be found scattered sparsely across Azys Lla. Inside was the usual array of floating spherical or egg-shaped drones and computing systems with their odd array of perfectly straight lines and sharp angles, walls made of unknown alloys, and an atmosphere that was dry and slightly uncomfortably warm.

Klynt stood near the entrance, watching the outside with a baleful eye. Ryss crossed her arms and leaned against a wall to wait while Zoissette slowly paced and looked around the space. Nyx walked to one of the consoles with its half sphere control interface and placed her hands upon it. It came to life with glowing lights and a gentle hum, and Nyx picked at several of the holographic displays.

"Acquiring access privileges. Taking local control. Subsuming protocols. Entering direct mode," said Nyx, who then suddenly locked up and went stiff while standing at the console.

"Uhm," said Ryss.

"Control established," said Nyx, only their voice did not come from their body, but rather, from the facility itself. "Scanning."

"That is passing weird," said Ryss, and Klynt barked a laugh.

"You get used to them," said Zoissette.

"Vauban. I am activating a map on one of the monitors. I believe I have located the entity, as well as secondary evidence to suggest what areas they have been frequenting."

Zoissette walked over to the monitor to look, tapping a finger to her lips. Ryss hovered behind them.

"Nyx. That building. It has multiple entrances. Can you secure them?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I have a plan," said Zoissette, turning to Ryss. "Klynt, you will stay here, protect the control room and protect Nyx. Her control of the security systems in this sector is paramount. Nyx, secure the two entrances I am about to highlight, leave these other two open. We go in, and confirm that the entity is there. Once confirmed, we close the entrance we came in, and make for the other one - have Dark bring the airship to a landing nearby and meet us there, but have her stay onboard, ready to bug out should this go poorly. I suspect that whatever it is may be intelligent - let it think it has trapped us. We stall it until the team arrives to give us backup, then mount a counter offensive."

Ryss looked at Zoissette. "...risky." She did not bother to point out that Zoissette was, arguably, still in recovery.

Zoissette shook her head. "We got lucky to catch up to her here. We cannot risk letting her get loose and run elsewhere. We may not be able to predict her future movements."

Ryss frowned, but after a moment, nodded.

"Good luck," said Klynt.

Dark was raised on the comms, and Ryss and Zoissette made their way carefully to one of the large abandoned specimen rooms where Nyx had thought the entity to be. Now, Ryss had Glitterdust summoned, and the little fairy flitted along with them. All of them kept an eye out as they approached the entrance to the underground Allagan facility. Ryss noted that Zoissette was no longer glancing off at things she could not see.

If the entity had been keeping an eye on them, it may have retreated and was no longer watching them closely, she surmised.

The inside of the specimen facility was dark and quiet. Large tubes made of transparent green glass, none of them intact, were scattered throughout the place. Many of them still had some kind of bioluminescent liquid in the bottom that glowed faintly in a way that somehow made it harder to see, the light casting confusing shadows and being too dim to provide guidance but also too bright for the eye to adapt to a natural night vision. Ryss and Zoissette swept their gazes about, as they slowly made their way in between gutted consoles and the detritus of a fallen civilization.

"How certain are we about Nyx's analysis?" asked Ryss quietly.

"Reasonably," responded Zoissette. "Even if you ignore their expanded repertoire of senses, did you see the highlights on the map? The system has been tracking unusual activity. Something has been acting as a predator. A newer one than the - hmn?"

Zoissette suddenly spun in place, and Ryss glanced over at her.

"...I think I see it too," said Zoissette.

Ryss felt a sudden pulse of alarm from Glitterdust. Before she could say anything, though, Zoissette had shoved her to one side, and a blade whipped through the darkness, neatly through the area they had once been. It retracted just as fast, with a whip-snap motion that was hard to track.

She felt resolve from Glitterdust. That would not be allowed to happen again. But they were still in the dark, still just the two of them, and this was the part of the plan where they ran. She quickly looked around to try to find Zoissette, and was surprised to see her friend already a good distance away, gunblade up, facing where the blade had come from, and waiting for Ryss.

"Come on! Time to go!" said Zoissette.

Ryss was not at all sure how Zoissette had crossed the distance so fast, but the time for questions could come later. She quickly ran to catch up to her, a hand going to her linkpearl as she moved.

"Nyx, lock the place down," said Ryss. "Where's the other team?"

Nyx's voice came back, flat and calm as doldrums on the sea. "They have landed and are making their entrance now. Locking area down."

Zoissette waited for Ryss, waiting for another attack. Another blade whipped out, and she was quick to deflect it with her gunblade, away from them, grunting with the exertion of doing so. Ryss ran past her, and she turned and followed quickly.

There was an unsettling sound behind them, like a dozen dozen blades all being run across a dozen dozen whetstones, sharpening, honing their edges to fine lethality.

Ryss decided she would prefer to not find out exactly how sharp without catching up to the group first and making sure they would be safe. She felt a heat in her chest, as Glitterdust began to pour aether into her, quicking her heart and strengthening her arm.

She was a Nymian Marine, and when they met the group, she would be ready to make her stand.

The team Erick and Dark had assembled was waiting. Ryss knew them well. Meya, a relief, an experienced healer she trusted. Riven, master of elements, who would be able to bring significant power to bear. Minti in a dancer's outfit, sure to be fast and nimble, welcome supporting fire and flamboyant distractions to hopefully dazzle the entity with. Violet, well, Violet was a bit of a wild card, but reliable in her own way.

Ryss turned, axe out. Glitterdust hovered nearby.

"Okay, stick to the plan, but be careful, do not go in full hard" said Zoissette. "I have a hunch-"

There was that sound again. Ryss found it to be uncomfortably close.

"Maybe we can save full explanations for later," said Ryss.

"Right," said Zoissette. "Heavies, to the front, keep the entity pinned down, but be prepared to fade back quickly to protect support. Picket, go for targets of opportunity and soft spots, but most importantly, keep yourselves safe, hit and fade. Support, stand back and keep us alive."

Zoissette snapped two cartridges into her gunblade and readied it as Violet came to stand on one side of Ryss and Zoissette stood on the other.

"Prepare for contact."

[talenlee]

Transformers: Starscream's Trans Dream

There is literally nothing useful in describing the idea of the ‘canon’ of a Transformers character. They are toys, and every bit of lore for them is an advertisement. There is no coherent characterisation and merely a sort of iconic familiarity, often owing mostly to the significance of a name and in some cases, literally translation errors, than anything to do with a coherent and consistent characterisation across a greater narrative space. Talking about the character of any given Transformer character is trying to collapse together a sort of advertising mascot into their wholehearted and protracted vibes, as best remembered by 45-year old nerds who invest in the secondary toy market and help to indoctrinate the children the brand exists to supposedly monetise.

But Starscream’s really gay, right?

Starscream is one of the longest-lasting Transformers characters, present in Generation 1, and appearing in almost every episode until his voice actor was too much of a pain to keep around. Then his being written out in the Transformers Movie proved, like many choices in that movie, to be things the audience didn’t want, which is why he came back as a ghost in multiple other continuities, until the character of Starscream wound up being one of the boundary fences that Transformers fans tend to look for to indicate whether or not you’re actually watching a ‘proper’ Transformers show.

Like Optimus Prime and Megatron, Starscream is one of those things every series includes, perhaps out of habit. In Generation 1 he was Megatron’s scheming offsider who failed to overthrow him. Then he came back as a ghost to attempt to overthrow Galvatron. In Beast Wars, he was a ghost that overtook the body of Waspinator, and failed to overthrow Megatron. Different guy that time. In the Armada Continuity he was reimagined as Nightscream, a brooding outcast from the Decepticons who wound up having to reconsider the ideology that failed to match with his nobility, a society that did not respect him or his identity. In Animated he was a scheming second in command who Megatron wisely blew out the airlock the first opportunity he got because of, y’know, the overthrowing. In Prime he was Megatron’s second in command until he was replaced by Shockwave because of his attempts to overthrow. Then in Robots in Disguise he was the villain of a plot arc who was out on the odds from Megatron because of some light overthrowing attempts.

This is half of everything you need to know about Starscream.

The other half is that Starscream is mincing.

I’m not reading into this, okay? Like, Starscream’s a character whose performance back in the first generation was absolutely the kind of thing where Chris Latta told the director ‘I’m gunna try this one again but more faggy.‘ Once Starscream’s character was being dialled in, the writers tried out alternate nicknames for him that included the Silver Snake and Pretty Poison. There’s a longstanding joke that Megatron only keeps Starscream around because he’s really good in bed and that justifies all the, y’know, overthrowing, and that joke is nearing on forty years old. In Prime, Starscream’s design literally included stiletto heels!

But okay, okay, that’s just the way the guy acts and behaves and the community talks about him.

Or…

her?

As with so many of these things, Transformers Animated took an existing thing in the Transformers continuity and by trying to approach it in a way that hadn’t been handled before, they did something that was both more interesting and somehow made Starscream even queerer.

Here’s the setup. In Animated there are just fewer Transformers. Rather than the whole army arriving on Earth at once, the Transformers are a smaller group who are trying to find one another on earth, hence the use of disguises. This smaller cohort has a direct effect in that it makes disguises more important but it also means smaller forces are much more capable of being more relevant to the conflict. Armies are over there, on Cybertron, Terror Cells are happening there, but on Earth? It’s like, twenty guys! And yeah it is guys.

But wait–

In this period, Starscream overthrows Megatron and it uh, it kinda works? Then when Megatron comes back from it, years later, he first up kills Starscream, because Starscream sucks and this Megatron isn’t an idiot. Starscream doesn’t die, because – look there are reasons, it doesn’t matter so much – but basically Starscream discovers he has rolled the Bullshit Awful Jesus traits for a Decepticon and after many, many attempts to attack Megatron, he starts having to compose alternate methods of attack.

His eventual scheme involves stealing a bunch of un-formed Transformers to make himself an army, building them with the best template he has: Himself. Starscream makes a bunch of copies of himself, which creates this story’s version of the characters known as the Seekers. Seekers, if you’re not familiar, is a grouping used to refer to a bunch of toys that were essentially just recolours of each other, and all of them more or less being ‘Starscream, but.’ They had names and powers that almost never showed up in the story, but y’know, someone filled out their name cards, and now they’re iconic parts of the narrative.

They’re named Dirge, Ramjet, Skywarp, Sunstorm, Thundercracker, Thrust, and Slipstream, with some wiggle room for some oddballs like Acid Storm, who isn’t important here but look, I’m linking to my own content. These names are then presented in Transformers Animated as the identities of these Starscream clones. Each of these represents a different constituent part of Starscream’s personality that they then express in how they behave, with Dirge being greedy, Ramjet being a compulsive liar, Skywarp being a coward, Sunstorm being a toady, Thundercracker being an egomaniac, Thrust being jealous, and Slipstream being…

an girl.

Not joking.

Not exaggerating.

When asked what she represents, while Starscream is hitting on her, she states, very simply, don’t ask.

This is a funny bit. This is probably a bit from a writer who wanted to mix up the formula, thought it’d be a good joke, added some voice acting variety to the scenes with all the Starscream clones, and threw her in. And it’s a lot of an afterthought about this character, because calling her ‘Slipstream’ is kinda a post-fact thing. Her actual name, if you believe the credits is Female Starscream.

What does this mean though? Is there some deep, intricate explanation for this choice? Was there something the writers were trying to say, beyond what’s actually there, in the text?

Well, the good news is, whatever you want, because this particular point was something the Transformers fandom ruined by being absolute tools. Specifically, the story says exactly what it does about it. Slipstream’s origin, what she means, what she represents about the character of Starscream, does it mean this? Does it really mean this? Does it really really really mean this? And as a result, the showrunner wound up, after trying to tell people that he didn’t have an answer for them, simply agreeing with every single explanation brought to him. Because that’s the point.

These are characters built around vibes.

It’s fine.

Does this mean Starscream is trans?

Sure, why not.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[solardick]

Oh you mean the rape fantasies they gave me for a covid inoculation the one where i get raped by a couple guys. Is great ol’fun. Mmaybe if this new age apocaalyptic, peace and love bs. Stoped raping my existance since my first memory id actually have a life. But no. I get fucked since the begining of time and there isnt even a lesson in it.

Fags are like women all they’re good for is causing you pain and suffering. The only difference is one is dellusion and ugly and the other is pretty and spychotic.

When have in the thiudands of tome where other oit themselves over me had it resulted in anything good? Never. Fuck off. And ket me die.

At least with woman the famtasy is healthy and proactive. And supportive. Where the toaster pligs inyo a wall and not a toilet. But im only on this earth for one reasin and thats to he property and used and shipped around and raped like since my first memiru. Nothing gas changed.

Accirding to reality. The hermit gas nothinv to do with wisdom. Its lonely and mesery. Tgere are no positive tarot cards. I dint get why they are popular. But hey

MYbe i can get dised worh done more anti-spychotics myself and be dised back into being a braindead retard afain.

I winder hiw far away from reality i can get where i dont lose my sanity. Its great fun being franed into sonething your not.

Alcohols hits harder during the day than the night. That one beer felt like three. I m going to start drinking. Hopefullyni womt get raped by my own spyche for a while more. And i need to remind myself to go get my hunting permit.

Inhope that girl isnt in love with me. If rather save the hardship. Im not worth it. Im not worth anything. Im just a marionette. I just do what they make me do. And look at how well that plays out. Maybe my life with have meaning after im gone. Thats usually the case with “artists”. no one cares. They just take your stuff after your gine and put a orice tag on iy

As for tarot as it stands after reading it. It’s complete trash. Take everyone of those “archetypes” and flip its gender. You’ll see a big difference. But none of that really matters. Its just a copy paste on what’s already on circulation. Ehats in circulation will have dominance or priority of way. Anyway.

And alm obtainable information on whatever that obscure. Isn’t trustworthy. If it makes sense good for you. There all little bodies of meaning. And for some as the person the pur led their being into and became immortalized as a result. Thry reach out and cover over what’s there.

Not mych difference between that and hearing old songs from the piblic radio stations being covered by the opposite gender. And it clicks, because its never in mind, it was meant to be that gender singing it the whole time. Take the song. So popularized as “creep.” Its even queerer than “we are the champions” or bohemian rhapsody or how ever its spelt…. Music? ….. uh.

My heart sinks a bit everytime a crowd of “heteros” from a sports team or something sings aloud. Ugh.

Ive been “studying” media all my life. Not much else to do. And by others intent. I hate this. Theyve been doing it to me long before they ever started trying. My brain is nothing but, brainwashing.

Guess im not allowed seeing the world as not a hostile place to be in. 30 years of one thing. And then you twist it and transfer it to another. Nope. Cant not be. The world is t a fucken circle. Jessus.

Nothing but negative venus, plenty of womanly men. Plenty of drug connections. And stupid bs. Plenty of violence and negativity. Still with the knowing smirks. Making all this affects during “my personal transits” replacing what my act would do for your own i tent i stea dof mine.

Its never going to end. Its all its ever been. Just stupid bs and violence.

And i dont understand why. One of the reasons i went to astrology. An dit gave me a bit of comfort and a bit of security. Everytime id look at somethign spychological my mother went put me down. It the inly way i can understand. It’s always been. I cant keep going anymore. Im breaking down. Again. How can someone live like this? There’s nothing there. At this magnitude? Why do you keep me alive?

And why sisnt you just kill me 30 years ago? Ive been wanting to doe for the last 25 years. And all upu do is abuse me.

Now what? What to do. The tv saps my energy. Maybe i should go back out to the bar. Its getting late.

Wheres the loving conversation? Oh, yeah ,right. Im not allowed to have any. Even though im all moon and saturn. Im not allowed having that responsibility. Bah breeding is for the imvompetant and the malvolent.

Well guessni aint breeding. And theres nothign else to accomplish that has any meaning or significance doen the line. Being alive is pointless. Its just a waste of time. Abusive time. Thtas all there is.

Now eccuse me i have to rety and get more than 4 hours of sleep and then go hang out woth a bunch of people that irritate and frustrate me with stupidity and violence. Or girly man crap. And me having no RnR from the consistency of the bs. Its always like that. There aint no rest for the abusive. I said you had a good singing voice. I dosnt say i wanted to listen to you sing female pop artist hits. Jesus. Wahts next you gonna start singing me britney spears, join a brothel and beat on men.

My sense are heightwned. Doibt im sleeping tomight. Oh well no work tomorow. Whoopy do.

Probably got driggrd with speed or something again. They like to drug me.

Hahahahha. Ywah ok.

Hey everyone. Theres this thing called astrology that lets anyone on thr planets to fuck woth yout life. Os fantastic. But if yiur not into that sort of thing you can go blow jesus.

Yay. Back to normal again. But venus transits comjng to a close in congruence to the unatural weather? +2? Frequent rain in january? Temperature drops 10°s. Happens. When ever the weather is fucked its with a “personal” transit. Been this way for the last few years that ive picked up.

Its like im so “collectivized” i control nature.

Hey look, i made a joke. Time for y’all to take it seriously. And cause me pain. And during that whole time y’all removed my latest sexual harrasser from being around me. I atarted global warning because i smoke ciggarettes. Sorry i took y’alls pure white loving christmas. Nows its a wet, green christmas. Where i dont need wearing a hacket until jahuary. Your welcome i destroy outdoor winter sports. Nature is ny obly social constant. Gice me more power. I want to cintrol the planet with my justice. Maybe i am developing into a nazi. Shitty life circumstances cause “hitler” to rape the environment right back. 7 fold. It says so in the bible. So i other words they dont want ke walking away from this girl. I dont know man…. But thays ok. They atent a venus figure abyway. Theur a pluonic mats figure. E

Where im given to the fantasy to “dominate”. Oouuu

Its all pickle and pineapples today…. Good fortune. And giving. Never mind it was just a freak 5 min period tgat just seens out if place. Good fortune?! Fuck iff.

Ok, ok. Everything is alright now. I see. And i want to be convinced. But i still ain’t. Still afraid. Or whatnot. Interference to others plans. Resistance And diligence and all that stuff. So even if whatever happens as i go through it. Then atleast ive kept what matters inside not to be bound to the effects. The next scene comes along.

I never got the whole trans thing. Kept bringing it back, like it bothered me. I may have experimented with underwear at one point. And you know what? A man thong can be pretty comfortable. In the sense that it keeps your balls up while feeling like you aint wearing nothing at all. And then you butt cheeks are frotting agaisnt your pants and not cuchoned from the sensation. Not very practical though.

And of course im always going to have a peace of cherry inside me. Love that persona. Not to crackpot bs she gave me. Thats too bad. Sometimes she reads right along with me. Its mine. I own it.

What i did love was find the purest most innocent part of you i saw. And i pulled on it. Your all demon on top. To the point of tattooing it on you. But naw. I went way back. To the beginning. Pieced it together with what i already knew. What little social wisdom i had to the opposite sex. And pleaded to it. Didnt care what games you played. Because i wasnt talking to that other you. And i didnt give much attention to anything you posted. Didnt care. I think your poetry is trash. You couldnt poet your way into any society.

Come now girl. You know you want to hit me. 😜

[diamondcitydarlin]

i know this can't be just me and I know that it isn't JUST the natural result of looking at 'recent' in fandom tags (which is 9 times out of 10 a fucking mistake) bc I've seen it outside of this many times but like...idk. I feel like the fandom communities surrounding sh@dows and 0fmd are far more aggressively negative than they were last time I checked. Mostly I'm talking about the way it feels like people have become possessive over characters from both things and refuse to assume anything but the worst for anyone who depicts their faves (in fanfic or fanart) in a way they don't like or agree with. This isn't anything new in fandom but I'm really disappointed to see it happening here, the same kind of shit we'd see in early 00's HP fandom when someone didn't like a ship or a character 'the right way'.

And ofc I completely understand the frustration of seeing a character or pairing or subplot depicted in a fandom thing in a way one doesn't like or agree with, like ofc I get that, but I'm seeing this new trend of taking anyone doing this in extremely bad faith right off the cuff. publicly and/or DIRECTLY. Like, if a character is depicted in a fanart as too masc or too femme for whoever the viewer is, suddenly the fanartist is a terf confirmed or something and that's not really an exaggeration. Drawing Stede with a fucking beard is now high treason and punishable by death, apparently

And I'm not talking about giving artists, writers notes for how to better depict different cultures, skin types, genders, and so on, because that's completely different. Giving notes implies that you have no reason to assume this person did this for nefarious or selfish reasons just natural human ignorance that just needs to be addressed so they can do better next time, and with most of these artists that IS THE CASE. This isn't that. This is seeing something you don't like and assuming the person who made it did it for the worst possible fucking reason one could come up with and refusing to consider any other possibility bc how else could you punish them for wrongthink??

I guess we...don't care AT ALL how this is going to stifle creativity and gatekeep anyone from attempting to participate in fandom for fear of 'getting something wrong' and being taken as a bigot? A homophobe or terf for drawing or writing something in a tonedeaf but wellmeaning way? For fuck's sake people. But then maybe cruelty and gatekeeping are the point here?

It's really not helpful and it certainly isn't some humanitarian act for fandom rep as I think these people like to pride themselves it is, it's literally just a way for them to narrow down the scope of participation in fandom until its completely under their control and preference, regardless of who they might ostracize in the process (POC artists, for one).

It's nothing new, but man am I pissed to see it coming back here where I really hoped things would be different. Anyway I'm not fucking participating and I really hope whoever reads this thinks hard about not participating in it either, regardless of what motives these 'critics' claim to have. I'm sorry, but it is not fair or logical or kind to jump to these conclusions about each other based on fanart and fanfic. You don't fucking know these people and they don't know you.

And what's more, I'm just going to say it bc it's been coming up GO vs OFMD vs WWDITS debates of which one is queerer (which also makes me want to drive my car off a bridge tbh bc some of these folks are over here debating the queerness of these shows while rooting for Queerbait Het YT Men S2 to finally do the thing when bitch you know damn well); not everything in fandom is going to be made for you. Not everything in a source material is going to be for you. That doesn't inherently make those things bad.

but, apparently, if something is not tailored specifically to MY PREFERENCES of how characters should present (with beards for example) then it's not only invalid, the person who made it is a bad person who should feel bad about themselves? Make it make sense.

Yes, we're coming into an age of openly queer stories and I'm as excited as anyone to see myself reflected. But I'm also going to see other queer people and THEIR experiences reflected and it is not going to be my own and THAT IS NOT ONLY OKAY IT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE BECAUSE 'QUEER' IS AN UMBRELLA TERM THAT ENCOMPASSES A WIDE RANGE OF EXPERIENCES AND IDENTITIES

thanks i hate this <3

[pb-dot]

I usually don't like remakes or reboots or rebootquells, but I would be making a liar of myself if I said I didn't have just the movie in mind. The Matrix was such a formative movie for me, I love it dearly, warts and all, but parts of me wants to see a modern update. Considering how the physicality of the at-the-time groundbreaking stunts and action choreography was a major selling point of the original, there seems little hope of having any other medium released, although a feature length movie animated in the style of one of those animatrix movies wouldn't be bad either.

Now, if I were to be given the reins of this The Matrix reboot, the most accurate way to describe my approach would be reconstructionist. There's several famous cuts or changes that's made to the movie at the behest of Warner Brothers, most notably ditching the plot element of the machines using humans as nodes in a neural network in favor of the famously plot hole-laden plan of using humans as batteries and nixing the character detail of supporting character Switch's gender being noticeably different between the matrix and the real world. I would, if given half an opportunity dived headfirst into undoing these changes, making the whole thing weirder and queerer every chance I get. I'd also try to integrate a more modern take on The Digital, a dystopia more familiar to social media. It'd probably lend itself to the agents being all but shapeless, working more as a wave of control among the masses than these X-files looking gents. Maybe Agent Smith actually taking a singular physical form is what first tells us the Matrix is starting to get to this guy.

I'd also dial down the gunplay a lot. Don't get me wrong, the bullet casing ballistic ballet business in the original is kickass, but I also feel that restricting our heroes to superpowered martial arts might lessen the... let's be delicate and call it School Shooter vibes that the original is kind of saddled with despite preceding the defining modern school shooting by about a month. Even barring that unfortunate coincidence though, it feels uncomfortably evocative of the politically deranged to have this gung ho action movie about how everyone but your ingroup are on a fundamental level less human than you and must always be considered a potential threat. It doesn't help, I suppose, that this dilemma is "solved" in the most recent sequel by having the bystanders and mooks our heroes deal with just straight up being machine-created NPCs, thus both acknowledging the uncomfortable implication of the original and not really succeeding at making it seem any less deranged. I do, however digress.

So, would this remake be any good? I don't know. Perhaps it'll be too cheesy in that 90s Saturday Morning Cartoon way in which it bends over backward to not have a massive bodycount despite all the violence it features. It could also, however, be some excellent queer sci-fi, and heaven knows we need more of that.

Static Video Prompt!

If you could pick one old movie to get a modern update, what would it be? What would you like to see from it? Animated? Live Action? Why are you picking this movie?

Oh, but wait! This prompt is a double feature.

You've just been given permission to create a 'revamp' of this movie. What do you change? Why?

[franklyautistic]

Alternatives to H*rry P*tter

Given Robert Galbraith’s recent decision to become a Death Eater (”I just don’t want mudbloods in pure-blood spaces”), I am sure many people are looking for new fandoms to get involved in. So here are two great literary fantasy worlds to get stuck into.

I have strictly stuck to 1) fantasy, and 2) series, so great SFF authors like @annleckie, @neil-gaiman, @charliejane-anders, @jscalzi, @maryrobinette, Annalee Newitz, Yoon Ha Lee, and many more had to miss out. Particular shout-outs to Anders and Lee, who are both trans, and Newitz and Leckie in particular have handled trans issues very well in their writing.

(If anyone is looking for recommendations of stand-alone works, or sci fi, or more queer-focused works, or anything else, then hit me up and I can throw ideas at you.)

All these books share two key things: characters who jump off the page and into your heart, and

So, without further ado:

N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy

There is a paradox in recommendation: the better something is, the less one wants to say about it, in case it spoils the experience. With most stories, one does not want to spoil the dramatic twists and turns, the surprises, the emotional highs and lows. And the Broken Earth trilogy has all of that. There are several major twists in the first book alone. There are characters you will love, and others you will despise with intense venom, and some who will make you feel both at once. This is a series full of triumph and despair, wonder and amazement. But you could have all the plot twists spoiled for you and it wouldn’t diminish your enjoyment of this book. The emotion is never cheap, but built up through excellent thematic work which gives the series a huge amount of depth and subtlety.

Jemisin is a middle-aged black woman, not a demographic frequently represented in epic fantasy stories like this, but here she wears her blackness and femininity with pride. This story could not have been written by anyone other than a black woman, a proud feminist and black rights advocate. It’s a staggering work which will make you feel intense feelings in even the most mundane details.

Did I mention that all three books won the Hugo Award? That’s a huge deal, completely unprecedented. By any measure, these are historically important fantasy books.

Lastly, there is a trans character who has a significant supporting role, receives lots of development, and who finds a loving, accepting community. She is not fetishised, and while her transness is made explicit on occasion, it does not define her. There are other queer characters, including two very important ones, and a poly relationship. And nearly all the characters are black.

Patrick Rothfuss’s Kingkiller Chronicles

I can’t not mention Rothfuss. The first thing you notice about The Kingkiller Chronicles is that Rothfuss’ prose is extremely rich. The story is narrated by Kvothe, who was once the greatest adventurer in the world but has lost his magic, and is now trying to live out his life in peace. As well as the great prose, Rothfuss excels at character development. Kvothe is never allowed to get comfortable. His life is constantly driven forwards, and his character builds along with it. And there’s some really good payoff in the form of a few great “crowning moments of awesome” when Kvothe masters a skill.

I will say that some of the sex scenes are rather cringeworthy. I hope that this is intentional, with Kvothe being deliberately portrayed as an arrogant guy who plays up his sexual conquests. But he isn’t just a bad boy

There are no trans characters that I am aware of. There are two obviously gay characters who are in a relationship with each other. While there is a range of female characters, the depictions of women are occasionally a little limited - it’s a step above Tolkien but far from perfect.

And given that this is about Galbraith - in 2015 Rothfuss unthinkingly shared a transphobic New York Times article. It would have been easy for him to claim it was a mis-click, or to double down, just like Galbraith. Instead, he owned up to his ignorance and committed to listening to trans voices and becoming better informed.

Laini Taylor - Daughter of Smoke and Bone

Karou is a young artist who collects teeth for a mysterious benefactor, who might be the devil.

This starts out as an atmospheric urban fantasy book, but builds into a sprawling epic, full of tension, some really brutal scenes, and also lots of feely goodness. Characters bare their souls, get them torn up in their face, pick up the scraps, pull them back together again, and do it all again. Themes include identity, memory, transformation, appearances, good and evil, and love. And once you’re done with the trilogy, there is a weakly-related duology (Strange The Dreamer and Muse of Nightmares) to crack on with.

The nature of most of the characters in the original trilogy makes applying human labels difficult. There is an explicitly asexual character who is shown in a romantic relationship, but the first clearly same-sex relationships don’t show up until the later duology, which is slightly disappointing given the first series focuses on romance. However, I think Taylor’s works very much lend themselves to being read through a queer lens, particularly from a gender perspective.

-----

That’s what I have for you. The intent here is to recommend brilliant fantasy series that can replace Harry Potter in your heart. If you’d like queerer SFF, or black SFF, Asian SFF, or anything else, let me know and I can pull a recommendation post together.

[isitandwonder]

you never hear about anyone douching in charmie porn.... *cough* sorry fanfic... pmsl. its never been about queer rep... i hate it when straight cis women bang that drum around movies like cmbyn... they would NEVER get this hot under the collar for real queer content like tangerine for example.

Good morning, nonnie, a lot to unpack here.

1) Hate is a big word and hating on cis women is kinda widespread with some gay men (the infamous fag hag). I don’t like this. Sounds misogynystic and is the wrong way to go about this issue imo, though I get what you mean and your frustration with certain self-proclaimed allies.

2) A lot of these straight identifying women might not be that straight after all. You live and learn. Ofte, watching gay movies can be a catalyst for women to find out more about their own sexual orientation.

3) Is cmbyn a gay movie? I’d say it’s a bisexual movie. Doesn’t mean only bi people are allowed to enjoy it though. There are some good articles about the sanitized gayness in cmbyn, exemplified by 2 straight identifying actors playing the leads and THAT TREE, for example. I also read that this isn’t just a thing with female viewers enjoying gay sex but not too much, but also that gay men themselves enjoy watching straight men ‘play’ gay. This touches some deep rooted ‘longings’ in the gay community for straight men, as can be seen in a lot of gay porn (Giving it to my Straight Neighbour kinda stuff, and isn’t that some form of fetishising as well?).

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/the-empty-sanitized-intimacy-of-call-me-by-your-name

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/nov/23/call-me-by-your-name-gay-sex-oscars

4) This sanitized queerness, filming a tree instead of more of E & O in bed for example, both makes the film probably more accessible to straight viewers and therefore guarantuess a broader audience to be reached by the film’s message which is, among other things, promoting tolerance for same sex relationships, but for the price of erasing a significant part, the same SEX, of these relationships. The jury’s still out on the question if that’s beneficial or backwards.

5) Slash fanfic or smut is essentially porn, written to get the reader off. Nothing wrong with that and whatever rocks your boat. I don’t see men douching in gay porn movies either. Porn sells a fantasy, not ‘real’ sex with all its messiness and ridiculousness. No harm done there as long as you don’t think this is how sex works or uses it as sex ed. There’s also fanfic without smut, though I agree that from what I’ve been seeing with a lot of writers leaving the fandom, those who keep writing T/A fic have fallen into a pattern where A is the manly hunk and T the soft flower, being depicted with traditional female attributes like delicate, pale, thin, smaller etc. D/s fics dominate, or Daddy!Armie and baby!tim. To me, that’s boring but to each their own.

6) There are a bunch of reasons why straight identifying women enjoy gay porn and gay slash fic and summing it all up as fetishising is unfair (also, fetishes are a part of sexuality and not inherently a bad thing). A good book on it is ‘Girls who like Boys who like Boys’. Some reasons are: 2 dicks are better than one / no big-boobed blond woman in gay porn to which the female audience has to compare herself, finding the own body lacking / for women who’ve experienced abuse or assault gay porn can be a form of still enjoying sex but taking themselves and their bodies out of the equation as gay men have no interest in them, either predatory or otherwise / gay porn allows equality between the partners, it’s not, as in het porn, clear from the start who penetrates whom, which breaks with traditional sexual roles always depicting women as passive, as to be conquered, pissing a lot of women off.

All that being said, I agree that probably many of those women who ship charmie wouldn’t enjoy the movie as much if it showed more explicit gay sex like anal penetration. There are movies and also books that depict queerness more openly, and they don’t have the kind of success cmbyn had.

But Charmies are a special case: they want to force gayness on 2 straight presenting actors. Maybe some of the above listed reasons come into play. Maybe it’s because many are young and don’t know much about sex at all, looking for some kind of perfectly sanitized safe romance. Other female charmies insert themselves into Tim’s part, making him the ‘female’ of the ship, to imagine traditional straight sex with AH. Some are obviously psychotic and need professional help. It’s a colorful mixture.

In the end, no piece of media can choose who consumes and enjoys it. The moment it’s released it’s the death of the author and everyone takes away from it what they need. This can’t be restricted.

Yet I personally would wish for more tolerance on both sides. I want explicit queer content but not just for queer people. Gate keeping doesn’t lead anywhere and is futile.

Oh, and I forgot 7) Was it a good idea to have 2 straight identifying actors play E & O? It surely added to the appeal for straight audiences because I believe no matter how good an actor you are, if you can’t draw on your own experience it’s not quite the same as if you as an actor know what you’re portraying esp in intimate settings. So queer actors might have portrayed E and O different, maybe queerer. But that’s a huge issue in itself and all I want to say to it is: a) we need more queer characters on screen and in media b) I want queer characters played by queer people. I also want straight / non-binary / ace characters played by queer people c) I don’t like ‘playing gay’ to be seen as a daring choice or rite of passage for serious straight actors.

I think as with every piece of media it’s always worth to open-mindedly examine: why do I enjoy it? What do I enjoy about it? There’s no right or wrong here, nothing is verboten. But reflecting on ‘what does this mean to me?’ never harmed anyone either and gives media consumption it’s deeper meaning and reason. If charmies were able to do this they wouldn’t have gone so completely off the rail like they did.

These shippers running amok now are just batshit crazy and not a good example of fandom or allies at all.

[residentlesbrarian]

The First Book I Read In the Dark: Queer Witches and a Whole Bunch of Redwood Trees

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta

Let me set the scene...we start Day 1 of this experience curled up next to the white painted fireplace desperate for warmth with two blankets, an extra hoodie, a stocking cap, and my trusty lazy husband for that much needed lumbar support. 

Now The Lost Coast was a book I had checked out multiple times over the past year of silence on this blog because every time I saw it on the shelf I would pick it up, flip to the blurb, read it and go, “Man, that sounds so good! I gotta read it!” Then I’d check it out and it would sit in my locker, or in my car, or on my desk for three weeks and I’d turn it in completely untouched. But this time...this time I swore I was reading this damn book! Even if I was reading 10 pages a day during my breaks at work I was gonna finally read this book, it wasn’t going unread sitting somewhere for three weeks again. Little did I know how right I would be! 

So as a bit of a precursor this is the only book of those I read in the dark that I had already started. I was 90 pages in when I started reading on Day 1 and I only get more incoherent from here so let’s do this!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Our protagonist is pulled across the country to the yawning redwood forest of northern California and discovers more than she could ever imagine. Her mom  thought Danny kissing girls was the worst of her problems but now she has to deal with witches and magic and is that a dead body! This non-stop ride is just getting started!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review: 

Okay so I would say this book pretty firmly falls in a middle ground of okay for me. It was some really great escapism for me in a time when I really needed it, but the way the book was structured and written just didn’t really jive with my usual reading tastes. It felt to me like it was trying so hard to be poetic and artistic that it got a little lost at times, no pun intended with the title of the book. 

Now for the plot, which I think was maybe the strongest element of this book. The driving plot of the book never changed and was always consistent and I really liked how the author wove the magic of the world and the unique structure of how she was telling the story while never losing the plot in that unique structure. It was always peeling away one layer at a time and showing us just a bit more without holding our hand. It was very well done and kept me guessing and trying to figure out what was going to happen and how it was all going to end. Next we have what is usually my favorite part of a review but this time...isn't. 

I have so many conflicted feelings about the characters in The Lost Coast. On one hand holy giant redwoods I haven’t read a book since Not Your Sidekick that had this many casually queer characters just strutting about doing their thing, but on the other hand I feel the way the story was written leaves so much to be desired. The characters feel so thin and lacking when they had the potential to be so rich and diverse. Don’t get me wrong they are diverse in the bare bones definition, but we know so little about them at the end of the day it feels like it doesn’t really matter. We have our protagonist, Danny, who we know has a strained relationship with her mother but is close enough with she was willing to move her across the country in an attempt to try and give her a fresh start. Now there are somethings that take place in the story that explain a lot of the odd things about Danny’s character and made me a lot less unhappy with her by the time the book ended but it was really hard to get behind her as a protagonist at the beginning not because I didn’t like her but because I wasn’t motivated to follow her into the story. She was just going along from one event to the next with no real drive of her own, which brings us to the Grays: Hawthorne, June, Lelia, and Rush. They at least have a consistent motivation, but they had such potential to be really interesting characters but each one fell just short for me. The closest one to a compelling for me was Rush, we learned the most about her and I think that was mostly because Danny paid the most attention to her for obvious gay reasons. Now I can’t really expand too much more without going into massive spoiler territory for the plot which I don’t want to do, because the book is good and is an experience I don’t want to take away from anyone it just fell flat for me.

So yeah, this book wasn’t what I expected and I think a huge part of that was because the blurb is so much different than what is in the book itself. And I know, as a lesbrarian I should know not to judge a book by its cover or its blurb...but that is your first exposure to the story you are going to be reading and in this case the tone was so much different. Now let me reiterate this book wasn’t bad. There were parts that were so beautifully written I had to reread them several times to take in the layers of imagery and sheer poetry of the prose, but I feel like at times that style took away from the story itself and most of all it took away from the characters so that by the end of it they just fall a bit flat for me. I do recommend you give it a shot though because you won’t find a book with a queerer cast out there and maybe it will speak to you more than it did to me. 

Queer Wrap-up: Alright lets look at the this stellar tally shall we. Even with my own lack luster feelings toward the characters from a story perspective you can’t over look the fact that all but one character we interact with on page regularly is queer. That is something I have never seen before, so it more than earned its five unicorns, even if the quality was a bit lacking on the tail end the quantity really pulled it out. So we have our protagonist who is unapologetically kissing girls from page one and doesn’t ever shut up about it but also doesn’t shy away from the fact she also finds boys undeniably adorable and cute. In a scene that makes this tally easier than most she defines herself as queer so we are gonna stick with that. Within the Grays we have Lelia who is a tiny nonbinary gray ace person who will get in your face and is not afraid to be called a weirdo, June is a “femme as fuck” lesbian who is also not white (I belive Danny describes her as vaguely pacific islander at one point. I swear it was more specifically stated what her ethnicity was somewhere later in the book but I didn’t write it down at the time and couldn’t find it in my quick flip threw the book when I grabbed it to jot down their stated sexualities, but she is definitely not white), Hawthorne is a bisexual black witch who states she has “a strong lean toward masculine folks” which is refreshing to see bisexual representation that isn’t just “gay but guys exist I guess”, then we have Rush who very succinctly sums herself up with “Fat. Queer. White. Cello Player.” She is also some add rep in the form of having synesthesia where she can taste words. We also have some disability rep as June has an injury to her leg from a fall out of a tree that never healed properly and it does cause problems for her throughout the book, not the greatest rep but it’s there and shouldn’t be forgotten or not included. Man, oh man, this is the longest wrap-up I think I’ve ever written but I am still not done yet. We have Imogen who is the missing Gray mentioned in the blurb and brought up pretty quickly in the story and without spoiling anything we do get confirmation she is also undeniably queer as well as another character that I can’t even begin to talk about without a giant redacted stamp for spoiler reasons, but just know this book does have queer rep coming out its ears. 

Links: 

Amy Rose Capetta’s Website

Goodreads

So yes here we come to the end of the first Book I Read In the Dark it was a whimsical journey through redwoods with witches and more queerness than you could shake a widowmaker at (if you don’t get that reference read the book). I finished this book on Day 1 and immediately dove right into Book 2 because well I didn’t have anything else to do and I was kinda reeling from the confusion of this book and wanted something to ground me. The next book was one I had wanted to read for a very long time. You’ll see whether it did the job or not. 

As always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

[trensu]

Episode 8: the One where NHS is a Total Cockblock

We are blessed with the opportunity to see WWX play with the bunnies again~! Meaning that this episode starts right where it left off last.

After WWX realizes that LWJ is going on the Super Important Mission, he starts complaining to the bunnies

WWX: We promised to go on that adventure together! You guys were there, you saw him promise, didn’t you??

WWX: and he’s DITCHING me?? FRIENDS DON’T LEAVE FRIENDS BEHIND!!

the bunnies definitely agreed with him. we don’t actually see that happen, but it’s true.

Now the rest of the Yunmeng sibs appear to share a moment with the bunnies. It’s super cute but not a wangxian moment so we’re skip on ahead here.

Wait, one last bunny moment to share. We see lwj leave for his mission, and he stops by the bunny area and says, very solemnly, “farewell” to all the bunnies.

BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES BUNNIES, OKAY??

Blegh, boring plot stuff happens, yuck

NEXT WANGXIAN MOMENT - we see lwj walking alone wearing some stunningly bright blue robes 

(the white sash with that robe is really emphasizing his tiny waist, STOP THAT LWJ, I CAN BARELY HANDLE IT WHEN WWX DOES IT, I CAN’T HAVE YOU BOTH SHOWING OFF YOUR TINY WAISTS AT THE SAME TIME, I WILL DIE)

There he is minding his own business when suddenly he catches a loquat that was just chucked at him

GUESS WHO IT IS~!

(It’s wwx, in case you didn’t guess)

Anyway, back to the wangxian scene~!

Wwx: lan zhan!!

Lwj: *looks at the loquat he just caught and throws a dirty look  at wwx* Boring

WWX: *whining* lan zhan, how could you break our promise?? WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ADVENTURE TOGETHER, FOR HONOR, CHIVALRY AND DUTY!!

Wwx: ooh, did you ditch me bc you’re scared that i’ll steal your thunder?? Wow, i didn’t realize the lan clan was so petty.

Lwj: how boring *walks off*

Don’t worry, wwx is completely undeterred by this

Ugh more plot stuff

But then we get another wangxian scene!

They’re still walking in the middle of nowhere but lwj is ahead of wwx 

Wwx: lan zhan wait for me *whine whine*

Lwj: *ignores him and keeps walking*

Then we get a reappearance of wwx’s Mischievous Grin as he does some magic glowy talisman writing in the air and flings it to lwj

NOW THEY’RE MAGICALLY TIED TOGETHER, AAHHH

Wwx: I made it myself! Isn’t it neat~? 

(why, wwx, why did you feel the need to make glowy magic  rope? What were you doing that made you think of this? WERE YOU THINKING OF LWJ?? it’s okay, I understand!! who wouldn’t want to tie down the second jade of lan??)

He then proceeds to tug the magic rope every which way, which of course yanks lwj’s arm around to match, bc HE’S A CHILD LOL

Wwx: what should I call it? Binding or Bonding?

Lwj: *stares steadfastly away* Boring

Lwj then whips his arm back dramatically and it’s his turn to yank wwx around.

Ofc he doesn’t get playfully tug-of-war-ish with it. He just turns on his heel to keep walking. 

Alright now they reach a town for Plot Reasons and we have this funny moment where wwx finds himself a scary mask and sneaks up behind lwj to try to scare him! Doesn’t really work, but lwj’s eyes do widen just a fraction so maybe he was a little bit startled? Idk idk

In this town we bump into NHS!! And we get a glimpse of jealous!LWJ because of him!!

See, wwx is a touchy guy, right? If you’re friends, he’ll happily sling an arm over you and tug you in close for conversation

Which is exactly what he does with NHS

Lwj looks at them while they do this before disdainfully dragging his gaze away and continuing through town

WHAT’S THE MATTER LWJ?? DO YOU WISH WWX WOULD PULL YOU IN CLOSE LIKE THAT?

DO YOU?? 

We cut to yunmeng to see a bit of jiang sibling time

And we’re back in town with LWJ, WWX, and third-wheeling NHS.

Nhs: so why are you hanging out with lwj who hates you? Are you being punished??

Wwx: how dare??? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW WE GET ALONG GREAT NOW

Then they stumble upon a group of people excitedly looking at something, we don’t care what

Hey guys, remember back in episode 7 when LWJ dives into a violent crows like nbd bc wwx was in danger??

Yeah, here lwj does not go anywhere near the nonviolent crowd

Wwx: lwj, why aren’t you going over there to check it out??

Lwj: no way, too many people

I FEEL YOU BRO. I TOO AVOID CROWDS LIKE THE PLAGUE

Wwx: it’s not that crowded! Come on!! You’ll be fine!! I’ll protect you *proceeds to physically grab lwj by the arm and drag him to the crowd*

AND NOW WE HAVE A WONDERFULLY PICTURESQUE MOMENT

It starts raining colorful flower petals!! The music in the background is upbeat and cheerful! Everyone around is making sounds of joyous surprise!!

Nhs looks over to LWJ and his jaw drops open: “LWJ truly is an unparalleled, gorgeous, elegant gentleman!”

No really, that’s exactly what he says to WWX about LWJ. 

The camera angles up here so we see lwj from a lower point of view, and get a shot of him silhouetted against a blue sky that just makes him GLOW as flower petals gently swirl around him. His face is serene.

What i’m trying to say here is that NHS NAILED HIS DESCRIPTION BC LWJ IS LOOKING LIKE A YOUNG GOD HERE.

Wwx: *gazes softly at lwj* I agree

Wwx: *internally* whoops that sounded too honest, better fix that

Wwx: TOO BAD HE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE’S GOING TO A FUNERAL, AMIRITE?? 

NHS is offended on LWJ’s behalf here but wwx doesn’t even care because he’s TOO BUSY ADMIRING LWJ’S GORGEOUS FEATURES

LIKE, OMG WWX, CAN YOU GET ANY QUEERER??

Plot things happen in town and then the boys leave

Yes, including NHS, what the heck (ilu nhs, but c’mon)

NHS: wait a minute…are we on a dangerous mission right now?!?!

WWX: if by “we” you mean me and lan zhan, then yes! Bc you’re not invited. This is mine and lan zhan’s time. Not mine and nhs and lan zhan’s time

Nhs does not take the hint, and LWJ keeps himself determinedly ahead of the pair so he can properly ignore them

MORE PLOT STUFF HAPPENS, WTF, CAN YOU NOT??

And now we’re in a cave!! Not the cave of wonders, but another cave!! For Plot Reasons we don’t care about!!

Plot, plot, dancing fairy legend, plot

MORE boring plot exposition. 

There’s way too much of that going on in this episode i think

They need to stop

Oh, now we’re getting another shot of jealous LWJ!

Random old guy: yeah, we don’t have any houses or inns or whatever so i guess you’ll just have to sleep in this creepy cave with the ugly fairy statue that may or may not steal your soul ByYyEeEE

Nhs is not, you know, the bravest of cultivators so he immediately gets all close to wwx and starts whispering to him how scared he is

The camera refocuses on LWJ who is a little ways behind them and BOY IS HE JUST BORING HOLES INTO THEIR HEADS

C’MON LWJ, WWX IS ALLOWED TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE

DON’T GET WEIRD ABOUT IT. DON’T BE THAT GUY.

Alright now we skip to the boys sleeping uncomfortably in this creepy-ass cave and THE FAIRY STATUE WAKES UP!!!

WWX & LWJ: I’MMA STAB IT WITH MY SWORD (guys, they’re practically synchronized here, probably because they’re ~soulmates~)

NHS: LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS GOT IT UNDER CONTROL SO I’M JUST GONNA HIDE BACK HERE

And then we see WWX use his binding technique to save the love of his life from getting smashed by the fairy statue’s arm.

He does this by tying his magic rope around the statue’s arm and pulling it back (while his braces himself on the statue’s side because he’s a badass) so the full weight of the blow doesn’t land on lwj (who blocks it with bichen)

ANYWAY these two are battling the fairy statue because they’re just that Skilled but obvs wwx never takes anything seriously…

WWX: Lan Zhan, she has a crush on you! :D :D :D

(omg wwx, now is not the time)

LWJ: Shut up

(see, lwj agrees with me)

And whoops, the bindings snapped! Before the evil fairy could hurt them more, wwx does a Dramatic Twirl and launches a couple of sealing talismans at it 

(@theuntamednarrator​ and I have determined that the Dramatic Twirl is super important to activating the talismans. The harder you Dramatic Twirl, the stronger they are. It’s just how magic science works.)

LWJ then reinforces them by doing this weird thing with his sword? He kind of…scrapes his scabbard against bichen and it starts glowing with blue energy (??) that he scoops up with his hand and launches it at the statue. 

Not sure what all that’s about but it works!!

Now, you’re probably wondering why i went into detail about the battle when bc it’s more plotty than shippy

BUT YOU’RE WRONG, IT’S TOTALLY SHIPPY BC WE GET TO SEE WANGXIAN WORK COHESIVELY TOGETHER TO TAKE DOWN A BADDIE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER

THEY’RE SO WELL MATCHED EVEN ON THE BATTLEFIELD

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

THIS ISN’T EVEN THEIR BEST BATTLE SCENE. IT’LL GET EVEN BETTER GUYS, JUST YOU WAIT.

And that’s it for the episode. I hope we get to less plot-heavy eps soon bc let me tell you, this one kind of dragged with how few wangxiantics we were getting. 

STILL, we got to see LWJ be beautifully surrounded by flower petals so I’ll count this as a win.

Return to Masterpost

[rabbithole86]

A Tale of Beards and Lavender: Imagining the Secret Lesbian Club of Hollywood

It’s strange, but true: at least once a week I sit down and Google the celebrities I think might be not-straight. There’s Anna Kendrick and Brittany Snow (hoping the Bechloe romance of Pitch Perfect finally comes true), Leighton Meester (sure she married Adam Brody but…), Naomi Watts, and Emma Stone (to name a few). Up until fairly recently Ellen Page, Miley Cyrus and Kristen Stewart were also on my list. They make up what I like to imagine is the “Secret Lesbian Club” of Hollywood. In my mind, this is basically an underground ring of awesome gays who like to get together fairly frequently to watch Bound, talk about butch/femme aesthetic, read gender studies texts, and figure out ways to insert queer subtext into their work. And who do I imagine is at the centre of it all? Taylor Swift of course.

Some might say this is wishful thinking. But the thing is, when you spend most of your days thinking queerly (that is, making the familiar strange, particularly with regard to sexuality and gender), you can’t help but see the world through rainbow glasses. It seems to me that “normal” is entirely a fiction, and everyone is a lot queerer than all that. That doesn’t mean there aren’t people with “opposite-sex” or “heterosexual” desires, but just that: a) what we ordinarily make of pairings along these lines belies the complexity of human experience; and b) a lot of people are probably a lot less distinctly straight (or gay) than assumed. With this in mind I look to Hollywood, which produces so many of the cultural texts we consume that show visions of a perfectly normative heterosexual life. I spend much of my time—as is tradition in queer theory—re-reading texts differently, to uncover the hidden queer subtext in popular culture. So, why not re-read the lives of actors themselves, given that we can be 99% sure that the narratives produced about them by tabloids and other press are also entirely fiction?

For me Taylor Swift is the perfect example of someone we ought to re-read, because she is held up as the epitome of the normal, wholesome heterosexual girl of today. For one thing, she made her debut on the country music scene, which is notoriously unfriendly to the gays—despite producing a bevy of flamboyant stars who epitomise the queer concept of “camp” aesthetic (Dolly Parton, for example). The boy crushes of Swift are heavily interrogated in the media, and her relationships with women are (for the most part) understood as purely platonic. However, if you look a little closer, we can see a queer subtext in Swift’s life and oeuvre that suggests a rather more fluid expression of desire. Here are a few things to note:

She dated Taylor Lautner and it was really awkward:

There is no doubt that it is common practice in Hollywood for studios to pair stars up for promotional purposes. This is referred to as “showmance”. But there is also the well-known though little-discussed practice of “bearding” (typically this refers to setting up gay male actors with female stars) or in extreme cases “lavender marriage” where the charade involves putting a ring on it (Rock Hudson is one well-noted example). We can’t be sure whether is was a bearding scenario when Swift and Lautner got together, but they sure were very showy yet extremely uncomfortable together.

She used to have a pretty intense relationship with her violinist:

During her country music days, Swift toured with a band which included violinist Caitlin Evanson for eight years. Unlike those Taylor x Taylor pics, Taylor and her violinist had sparks galore. Evanson, who is ten years older than Swift once commented, “Taylor is a 40 year old in a 19 years olds body”, which is just the kind of thing you’d expect an older girlfriend to say about their younger lover.

There was that time she apparently kissed Karlie Kloss:

Karlie Kloss is supposed to be the closest of Swift’s girl-clan, and in 2014 they were spotted kissing at a club. The photos are pretty dodgy and might well be fake. But I include this point here because it started a bunch of rumours about Swift’s sexuality, which is important for the next point.

Her song “New Romantics” is probably about being more than straight:

Swift’s new single off 1989 includes a number of lyrics that reflect a queer subtext. These include:

1.”We show off our different scarlet letters— Trust me, mine is better”: given that scarlet letters refer to adultery, Swift is basically saying here “I’ve got other partners but they’re not who you expect”.

2. “We team up then switch sides like a record changer”: note here that Swift doesn’t seem to be just referring to switching partners, but switching sides.

3. “The rumors are terrible and cruel/But, honey, most of them are true”: this might be referring to the gay rumours as noted above.

4. “And every day is like a battle/But every night with us is like a dream”: this suggests an outside persona that clashes with what goes on behind closed doors, specifically with a partner.

5. “The best people in life are free”: this might refer to the practice of studios paying for beards. Swift is saying, the best people in life are not the ones you get contractually set up with.

“I Know Places” is about secret love

One thing you can say about Swift’s hetero romances, is that they are very very public. Instagram pictures posted by Swift, hundreds of photos in gossip magazines, TV interviews, and so on. However this song from 1989 refers to a love that Swift must hide away. The song also starts with “You stand with your hand on my waist line/It’s a scene and we’re out here in plain sight”, which suggests a romance that might not be perceived as one at first. This might be a reference to that phenomenon that people will believe anything before they believe you’re in a gay relationship—i.e. “oh, you’re sisters?” or “you guys are such cute best friends” etc.

Let’s be clear here: I don’t want to essentialise sexuality, like it’s some nugget of “truth” that can simply be unearthed like a buried crystal. But I do think there is some benefit in cracking open what is considered normal, so that we can begin to see how this is really just a fiction that *no one* lives up to. This also isn’t to condemn those who do not “come out” of the proverbial closet, because we ought to realise that attempting to live up to the fiction of normality is often enacted as a mode of survival. The horrible reality is that once stars come out they can’t survive easily in Hollywood. Among others, Ellen Page has talked about how she has struggled to get parts playing straight characters since publicly declaring her sexuality.

In any case, you might be thinking: why care about Taylor Swift’s sexuality anyway—shouldn’t that be none of our business? Fair point. Perhaps when you apply a queer “re-reading” to real people it can all get a little…gossipy. Despite this, I continue to hold onto the fantasy that our icons of culture aren’t all that straight and narrow. I think I care so much because I grew up looking and acting pretty heteronormative, and was treated as such. But while I had mad crushes on boys and aspired to extreme girliness in aesthetic, my desires were not simply straight. I had girl crushes too, I just didn’t know how to make sense of my complex range of feelings. I guess that’s why I hang onto the idea that there’s a Secret Lesbian Club in Hollywood, headed by the girliest boy-mad celebrity of all…because in that alternate universe, sexuality might be hidden but it sure isn’t black and white. 

source

[bellabooks]

10 Lesbian, Bi and Queer Women in Sci Fi and Fantasy TV Right Now

Lesbian, bisexual, and queer erasure has pretty much always existed in media, but it has seemed pronounced lately, especially in Science Fiction and Fantasy (SFF) movies. We’ve seen Valkyrie straight-washed, as well as Wonder Woman, Constantine, Harley Quinn, Iceman, and Mystique. (I’ve barely scratched the surface. The list goes on and on.) In SFF TV, though, queer women are showing up in force. They’re super-powered and super-smart. We still need more and better representation, particularly for queer women of color, trans and nonbinary folks, queer women with disabilities, and every other member of the queer community who do not see themselves represented on TV.   Jeri Hogarth, Jessica Jones Jeri Hogarth (Carrie-Anne Moss) is a powerful, intimidating lesbian, lawyer, and counsel to the super-powered in Hell’s Kitchen. (Moss also played Trinity in The Matrix so you already know she’s one attractive lady.) In the comics, Jeryn Hogarth is a sort of dumpy lawyer and confidant to heroes. He’s more of a side character than an antagonist, while the Hogarth from the Jessica Jones TV show (and the other Netflix adaptations) is anything but a sidekick. She’s manipulative, conniving, and ruthless. In one of the eerier choices she makes, she salvages the potentially powered aborted fetus of the child of Kilgrave, a super villain who can make anyone do anything he wants just by saying so. She takes the cell tissue to see if she can find a way to harness his powers. She even helps Kilgrave escape from Jessica so he can help her with her own divorce negotiation. In the end, Kilgrave supercharges himself with tissue samples from the aborted fetus, which make him that much harder for Jessica to defeat. In Iron Fist, Hogarth helps Danny Rand prove his identity and get reinstated with his family’s company after he returns, and she hires Daredevil’s best friend, Foggy Nelson. She has him represent Jessica when she gets caught up in another huge case in The Defenders. You may not like Jeri, but her tenacity is admirable. Check her out in season two of Jessica Jones, which is set to release on Netflix on March 8th.   Anissa Pierce/Thunder, Black Lightning Anissa Pierce (Nafessa Williams) recently started feeling strange. In times of great stress, she has exhibited supernatural strength and the ability to create shockwaves when she stomps. Unbeknownst to Anissa, her father, Jefferson Pierce (Cress Williams), the principal of the school where she works, is the superhero vigilante Black Lightning. As Jefferson comes out of vigilante retirement, Anissa begins exploring her powers and finds that she is frighteningly strong. The first time she uses her powers on humans, she worries that she might have killed the drug dealers she was trying to scare. In a community plagued by police brutality, gang activity, and racism, Anissa starts to believe her powers are not just a gift, but a responsibility. Time and again, throughout the show, we see Anissa assuming the role of protector. One of the best things about Anissa is the fact that she’s just out. There’s no coming out story in the TV show, though her parents do reference her coming out at one point. She lives her life as a lesbian without remorse or regret. She has a girlfriend she breaks up with and meets the very cute Grace Choi. To see her manifest her powers on top of all her confidence and power is a sight to behold.   Grace Choi, Black Lightning Grace Choi (Chantal Thuy) is a cute comic book nerd who Anissa meets in a library. They immediately connect and start flirting while talking about genetic mutation, which Anissa is researching. When Grace is knocked unconscious by a gang member, we see Anissa express her powers more drastically than ever before. Later, while she’s holding Grace, she wonders aloud if someone who could do something to right the wrongs of the world should. Grace affirms that they should. Grace has Anissa’s back and believes in her, even though she doesn’t yet know about her powers. Grace is out and open with her bisexual identity, even joking about it with Anissa. We don’t know if Grace will exhibit the powers she has in the comic books yet, but the first season has just begun. Power Coupling: #Thundergrace So far in the TV show, Anissa and Grace are just getting started as a couple and as heroes, but their attraction and support of one another has me really rooting for them. They are an extremely rare example of a relationship between queer women of color and we need more positive examples out there. Bring on #Thundergrace! You can see Anissa, Grace, and the whole Black Lightning team on Tuesdays on the CW.   Sara Lance/The White Canary, Legends of Tomorrow After surviving a horrific boat accident, Sara Lance (Caity Lotz) is recruited to the League of Assassins, naturally, and becomes a lethal force. While living with the League, she falls in love with Nyssa Al Ghul, daughter of the leader of the League. Sara, who made her first appearance in Arrow, fights alongside and dates the Green Arrow (or Arrow or Hood, or whatever Oliver Queen is calling himself at the time), survives her own death by use of a magical hot tub, and is recruited to join a team of time traveling vigilantes. A typical tale. She assumes the identity of the White Canary for her new role and as she travels through time, Sara flirts with and kisses nurses, a female Merlin, and her teammate, Leonard Snart. In the second season of Legends of Tomorrow, Sara becomes the ship’s captain and leads with humor, grace, and many, many stunning fight scenes. She tempers the ragtag team of heroes and damn, it’s nice to see a woman in charge. Season three of Legends of Tomorrow is still in progress, and things are heating up with Ava Sharpe. You can catch my favorite bisexual time traveling captain on Mondays on the CW.   Alex Danvers, Supergirl Agent of the Department of Extra-Normal Operations (D.E.O.) and member of her sister Supergirl’s team, Alex Danvers (Chyler Leigh) comes out of the closet in season two of Supergirl. Some of us might be sick of coming out stories, but for a show created for a younger audience, this coming out story is powerful. Alex describes herself as always feeling like something was wrong with her, as if she didn’t want to date, until she met Maggie (Floriana Lima). An out and proud cop, Maggie assumes Alex is gay, which helps Alex out of the closet. The two begin dating, while fighting super villains and teaming up with heroes from other universes. Ultimately, Alex and Maggie split because Alex wants to have kids and that doesn’t work for Maggie. In the end, the actor, Lima, decided not to return to the show, so the split was inevitable. Decisive, powerful, loyal, and quite the fighter, Alex is a credit to queer women. You can see her on season three of Supergirl which is currently airing on Mondays on the CW.   Waverly Earp, Wynonna Earp The younger sister of the heir to the Earp Curse, Waverly Earp (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) is whip smart, adorkable, and an irreplaceable member of her sister Wynonna’s team. When we first meet Waverly, she’s wielding a shotgun, which is aimed at her sister Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano), who she believes is currently hooking up with Waverly’s boyfriend. Over the first season of the show, we see Waverly begin to question her relationship and her sexuality, as she comes into contact with the very sexy police officer, Officer Haught. When Officer Haught kisses Waverly for the first time, it is powerful, sensual, and blows Waverly’s world right open. As Waverly explores her sexuality, we see her transition from a shy woman testing the waters to a powerful woman who goes after what she wants. The second season also finds Waverly questioning her relationship to her family and her future.   Officer Haught, Wynonna Earp Officer Nicole Haught (Katherine Barrell) is an unshakeable force for good on Wynonna’s team. At first, the group keeps Officer Haught in the dark, but she’s a great detective and figures out that something is amiss in the Ghost River Triangle. When the supernatural happenings are confirmed for her, she doesn’t freak out. She’s just relieved she’s not the only one who knows something is wrong. She fights heterosexism, small town politics, and demons throughout the show. In the second season, Officer Haught is wounded by a demon-widow and falls into a coma. The audience feared the worst for Haught, but she comes out of the coma and lives to fight another day. Power Coupling: #WayHaught Officer Haught and Waverly are both awesome on their own, but together they make cute-sexy-funny-loving relationships seem natural. Things aren’t always easy—they make it through their own fair share of supernatural mishaps—but they’re an example of what love between two women can look like. You’ll be able to watch #WayHaught’s evolution in season three of Wynonna Earp, which is slated to air on SyFy sometime in 2018.   Karolina Dean/Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Runaways What do you do when you find out your parents are super villains? Karolina Dean (Virginia Gardner) and her friends try to answer this question in season one of Runaways. While sleuthing and being a hormonal teenager, Karolina also finds out that she has superpowers. She can manipulate solar light and fly. When the bracelet she was given as a child isn’t inhibiting her abilities, she shines like an iridescent rainbow. Can she get any queerer? In fact, she can! As they prepare to act like normal kids for a night at the high school dance, Karolina finally makes her feelings known and kisses Nico, her friend and eventual leader of the Runaways. They go on to kiss again later in the season and share a very sweet moment complete with eye batting and sly smiles.   Nico Minoru/Sister Grimm, Runaways Nico Minoru (Lyrica Okano) is a bad witch you do not want to mess with. She can do anything, but she can only do it once. (It’s a limitation of her magical powers.) She’s a member of the all-female Avengers called A-Force, and a general badass. Long before her reign as bad witch, though, Nico was just a kid in California–a kid with super villain parents–but a kid nonetheless. This is where we meet her in the TV show Runaways. She’s emo, she’s angry, and she’s mourning the death of her sister. When she and her friends find out that their parents are evil, she starts investigating her connection to a family heirloom, the Staff of One, which gives her the ability to manifest anything she can think of. During this confusing time in Nico’s life, she kisses Alex, another teammate, but after she finds out that Alex has been keeping secrets about her sister’s death, she rejects his advances. She and Karolina share a passionate kiss and this sets Nico down an entirely new path of self-discovery. Power Coupling: #Nicolina One of the best things about Karolina and Nico’s relationship is how far it deviates from the comic books, which are filled with off-hand heterosexist remarks and Nico distancing herself from Karolina when Karolina expresses an interest in her. In the TV show, we see two young women acknowledging their attraction. We’ve barely seen either use their powers and I’m really looking forward to what happens to #Nicolina in season two. You can join me in watching their relationship to each other and their parents evolve in season two of Runaways, which has been renewed for a second season on Hulu. Given when the first season aired, we might see the second season as soon as fall 2018.   Cassandra Cillian/The Librarian, The Librarians  Cassandra Cillian (Lindy Booth) is a genius with a brain tumor, which essentially gives her super powers. Recruited by the mystical Library to preserve magical artifacts, Cassandra is one of the three librarians who is new to the game. For much of the show’s run thus far, the show seems to flirt with the idea of Cassandra’s queerness. She gets enchanted and becomes a female Prince Charming. All the ladies in the town start fawning over her and she likes it. She flirts with a diplomat and gets her phone number, while also stealing her earrings, which are magical artifacts, so it’s totally fine. And, on more than one occasion, she makes eyes at her Guardian (not that kind of guardian, gross. It’s a magical thing.), played by Rebecca Romijn. I also make eyes at Romijn in this TV show. At one point, Cassandra makes advances toward an older male character and seems to have some sexual tension with another librarian who is male. After three seasons, the show finally lets Cassandra be out. When Cassandra’s life-threatening tumor is removed, she realizes how close to the end she was and rushes to see her friend, who is a vampire that she has been relentlessly flirting with the entire episode. They share a passionate kiss and boom, Cassandra’s out of the closet! The season finale of season four of The Librarians just recently aired. We’re waiting with baited breath to see if TNT will renew the show for a fifth season. http://dlvr.it/QJKcGZ

[janiedean]

Can I ask you to give me a hand with this post, brehaaorgana|tumblr|com/post/167219674712/ragnarok-hot-takes ? Cause I'm pretty sure I missed all of that in the movie and I'm very confused (no probs if you don't want/don't have time to obviously!)

Anon about the thor movie articles here, where are my manners?? *could you give me a hand, and thank you in any case! Sorry, I've been doing a lot of math exercises for uni and my brain is kinda fried :')

np it wasn’t rude ;) that said... okay let me see XD

... well, WOW? XDDD I should read the articles tbh because I went like what at half of those titles but

hammer in the face to the alt-right: well, it’s full of poc actors playing gods? that’s like all I can think rn but I should read it tbh that said it could be a thing

‘queerest superhero movie yet’: .... idk I mean the bruce/tony was strong in this one but I mean it didn’t seem *queerer* than most superhero movies around wait I googled it, the explanations are that valkyrie is bi in the comics (true) and tessa played her as bi so that’d be canon, korg is gay in the comics (could be in the film too but that wasn’t touched upon) and then the person who wrote the article is in the ‘loki is genderfluid’ camp which is an entire other issue but I mean tbqh then also logan was a queer movie because rictor was in it and rictor is canon gay?? I mean given that it SORT OF SEEMS LIKE there’s half a chance they remembered rictor and shatterstar existed lately seems to me like if you want canon lgbt relationships you have to look at x-men movies (also deadpool was openly pan tbh that movie seemed way queerer to me than this one) but whateves

‘refugee crisis’: I think the dude means the fact that the asgardians are forced to leave their home at the end, but like... it was a thing that happened in the comics and at some point asgard was in oklahoma, idk if ragnarok was referencing those comics or not but seems kinda far fetched unless he means something else??? but I honestly can’t know

‘very maori marvel movie’: I suggest reading the whole article which is actually v. interesting since I have absolutely no frame of reference to discuss this myself

indigenous rep: probably answered in above article

‘insidiousness of imperialism’: dunno man I guess it means that they had to re-evaluate odin who technically was an imperialist while conquering shit around with hela and then it ends with the asgardians having to flee but again, that was a comic book thing too sooooo I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole

‘racist fans’: happened with idris already in thor 1 ie telling people to shut up re racebent characters which in this context tbh is what I’d do, like it’s comic book movies don’t get hung up about that shit pls

‘direct commentary on trump’s america’: okay i’m looking this one up because I honestly can’t see how it was, because tbh I don’t see how the winter soldier or the cap movies aren’t more political than this party fest, but as I had guessed before, apparently asgardians = refugees and since the director is poc making them refugees is inherently political and tied to the current political climate. tbqh this one REALLY sounds like making it deeper than it actually is, but okay XDDD

tldr: half of this is legit but with the other half I’m really tempted to say it’s really not that deep

[writersriot]

@neepcreature

So so sorry it took me forever to get back to your response to Part 16!! I also apologize for my long-ass response haha, hence why this is in a separate post. Because I am a rambler who talks to much concerning my special interests.

When Two-Bit and Marcia get married (in my mind haha), they would absolutely end the rivalry lol. I just love how they instantly bonded over their shared sense of humor, but then we never heard about them again. Like dude, what happened to my one het ship in this book haha.

The ages!! Oh god the ages lolol. See, the way these characters’ ages are written. . .just doesn’t make sense. I don’t know if this came from Hinton writing as a teenager and making certain assumptions about how people act at certain ages?? I know by the time kids are seniors in high school, around 17-18, they look at the freshmen, around 13-15, and think they’re babies haha. And sometimes the ones who are out of high school but still basically youths seems so much older and wiser (which, lol.)

Darry is 20, but god at 20 I knew nothing, and Darry is holding up his family by himself. Even Two-Bit is 18 going on 19 yet still in school, not even a senior yet. And he’s the oldest of the gang, which really makes me think Darry isn’t usually involved with the gang so much as maybe Soda is. I think Two-Bit even mentions that he’d beat down Pony if he weren’t Soda’s kid brother, so it makes me think this gang is mostly made of these boys who went to the same school for at least some time and who live in the same neighborhood. (So like Pony and Darry are included in the gang because they’re related to Soda I guess)

Because Soda is 16 going on 17, which I assume Steve is as well since they’re best friends. Who else is that age?? Johnny. With Dally only a year older. Like lol forever. Because really, is it Pony wanting to be part of the gang so much and to be taken seriously like you said? Like Pony kind of latches onto Johnny as a type of kindred-spirit as shy, quiet types that Pony makes assumptions about Johnny, seeing him as younger than he is and closer to Pony’s age? ‘Cause even though Johnny is Pony’s friend, I feel like Johnny sees Pony as a younger brother he would (and does) protect.

I also think maybe Pony fundamentally doesn’t understand the relationship Johnny has with the other members of the gang either because he doesn’t see it. I think his notion of this is amended a bit at the end of the book, when it’s too late unfortunately.

So is the infantilizing of Johnny really as bad as it seems in Pony’s perspective? Or is it just Pony’s interpretation of events? I mean, we know Johnny is small for his age, which can happen to kids raised in abusive situations, though of course it could be he’s a little of a late bloomer puberty-wise. And we know the gang wants to protect Johnny due to his abusive and neglectful home life. Pony says Johnny is the “pet” of the gang, which I don’t even know what to make of other than Pony making assumptions.

Here’s a kid very near the same age as most of the guys in the gang, yet due to his size and likely being in the same class as Pony, he maybe gets treated like another little brother. But he’s the little brother you don’t fuck with at all. And honestly, Pony calls Johnny the pet, but we really don’t see that kind of dramatic behavior from the rest of the gang. They’re protective of him, absolutely. But it’s honestly as if the only one who infantilizes Johnny is, in fact, Ponyboy himself? Like, I just don’t get those “he’s the pet” vibes from the rest of the gang so much as “Johnny’s already been through shit so don’t give him any more” vibes.

And this infantilizing of Johnny I think is what makes readers think he’s Pony’s age instead of the same age as most of the gang. And I think it’s why some people are against the Johnny/Dally ship as well? Like they see it as a dramatic age and power difference, when really, I think that’s only due to Pony’s narrative of everyone and not actually what the subtext implies. That’s my analysis of it.

Oh gosh, I followed Hinton on twitter just a little before her rude responses started up and garnered so much attention back in October last year. I thought, oh cool, another author to love -- oh shit nevermind. Like she would tweet some good stuff and then make me kind of despise her when answering questions about The Outsiders lol. So yes, I saw all of her. . .Hinton-ness. She honestly should have said, “That wasn’t my intention writing these characters, but it’s cool if readers see something else,” and left it at that. And maybe people should have stopped asking her if the characters were gay and just said, “I see them as gay no matter what lol bye” like haha that’s the only way I would ever do it because I don’t need an author’s permission to read their book a certain way.

But I stg Hinton needs to go back over what she wrote. Because what she thinks she wrote and what actually made it onto the page appear to be different. Like if she wanted to make Johnny really excited to talk to girls. . .I’m sorry, that just didn’t happen. And she kept saying “where’s the textual evidence?” and I’m like read your fucking book, lady! Or get a queer person to read it and explain it to you because you didn’t actually manage to make Johnny’s heterosexuality set in stone lol. I was twelve, attending Catholic school, and I was like damn that’s hella gay. Like I didn’t even really have a good concept of “gay” but I knew Johnny and Dally were pinging my gaydar haha. And I’m hella aroace and I could still see the subtext of it playing out through the book.

At her age, if Hinton really weren’t homophobic, she could probably look at what she wrote fifty years ago as a teenager and think, “huh maybe this is a little queerer than I thought I was writing back then. Welp.” Because by her own admission she says she didn’t know any queer people growing up, which lol I call BS she just didn’t know any OUT queer people. She’s one of those types of people that says, “Ask anyone if it was cute to be gay in the 60s” as if queer people didn’t exist back then with their own community.

It’s like she’s ignoring the counter-culture of hippies that came about in the 60s. And there was a queer movement from the 50s that resembled the picture of manliness, I forget what it’s called now, which is something Greasers apparently actuated by controlling their emotions and seeming utterly “cool” which honestly, is not the type of Greaser Hinton wrote about with their violent feelings haha. Plus there’s a whole punk and queer movement on the cusp of this, so Hinton can’t convince me everywhere in the 60s was homophobic. Maybe Tulsa, Oklahoma had it’s fair share of bigots but my god.

Queer people existed back then, and now we are all more widely accepted, so maybe instead of contributing to a stifling culture of authorial intent of heteronormativity, how about she reconsider what it could mean for her characters to be considered queer in this day and age as good role models and that sure, it’s okay to be queer. Granted, the two I believe are the most queer are the ones who end up dead so it maybe just adds to the “bury your gays” trope but who knows. In that case, Hinton might think for the 60s that would actually be accurate representation. (I’m sorry, maybe that was mean lol).

Anyway, clearly I’m a little bitter over how she handled the situation because I started writing this series after all.

Johnny absolutely has PTSD! I’m glad you brought that up because you’re right, I haven’t mentioned it in this series yet. But it’s very important to consider that Johnny comes from an abusive and neglectful home, and then he gets attacked by the Socs which is a hugely traumatic event. The kid is a mess, and I feel so badly for him because he’s just trying to survive. But absolutely it’s a concept that isn’t recognized in the book, and honestly I think it’s difficult for kids and even teens to recognize trauma and PTSD for what it is. I know I didn’t recognize being in an abusive situation until much later in life. And it seems like the type of household Johnny came from was common in the 60s because I hear stories from my mom and even my gramma that make me go “wtf that is abusive as shit.” So I definitely think Hinton herself didn’t realize she was writing a character with PTSD as we would analyze it now.

That’s why it is interesting that Cherry does recognize that Johnny has had some kind of trauma. I absolutely believe it’s leaking from Johnny’s pores most of the time, and sometimes stuff like that is more obvious to people who don’t see a person every day. And Pony definitely doesn’t have the vocabulary or knowledge of PTSD, so you’re right, that may very well be why Pony describes Johnny as shy. Because Pony also describes Johnny as looking like a kicked puppy most days, and I just ugh cry a little. It absolutely sounds like Two-Bit triggers a dissociative episode, but that Pony would only see it as Johnny being jumpy and scared. Like Pony would just have no concept of how traumatic the attack was for Johnny, even despite Pony having his own form of PTSD after the death of his parents, which we see a reoccurrence of after Johnny’s death. Just all around, I feel so much for these boys.

I could chalk this up to Hinton’s writing, but again she was a teenager herself, so I want to say that she just needed a narrative device of trauma without necessarily seeing what that means for the characters. Having the narrator say Johnny is shy when he really doesn’t exhibit that behavior just shows me that Hinton didn’t have a great grasp on what she was writing either. That’s why many readers have such a different reaction to the story because we recognize the trauma, the PTSD, the abuse, and yes, the queer subtext. But these are issues that I never heard discussed in any classes, it was always the Socs versus the Greasers and what “the same sunset” bullshit means and asking about the abuse without framing it as abuse. It’s like only a surface-level reading of these characters that I could never stand because I saw so much more to them. It’s a pity that Hinton can’t see beyond the surface of the story she wrote either.

So yeah, anyway. Long post is long, and I hope my rambling made some sort of sense?? Uh, I ALWAYS want discussions like this, even on previous posts or just on their own if you say, “hey I was thinking about this” like I will be right on your page!! Sorry for bombarding you with such a lengthy, nonsensical response, but thank you for having discussions with me, it makes my life meaningful and my special interest in The Outsiders feel like it hasn’t been wasted the last uh almost couple decades haha.

[petitalbert-blog]

"I want to get into ceremonial magic, but the gender/sex stuff is annoying af”

Don't worry, little sparrow! I'm so bothered by the anti-queer sexism in high magic, and this morning I have written a lot of words on why it's annoying and inaccurate; and capped it off with some "how to adapt this bullshit so you can participate without turning to drink" ideas.

I think translating that queer body into a strong man taking a vulnerable woman makes extremely clear that sexual imagery and sex itself, which have a host of egalitarian and sacred meanings in magic, has been tainted by society's shitty ideas about sex.  You know, jumping straight from sex rituals to "man dominating woman!", says everything about the person jumping to that conclusion.

But the sexism was also there from the start.

You look at original Crowley, and he talks about the symbolic roles of the (male) Beast and (female) Scarlet Woman, and no amount of "both the male and female are sacred and have separate symbolic roles!" can compensate for his belief. That there was only one Beast, but Scarlet Women could be interchangeable - and in fact were, in his life, and you can read his notes about why his seven women all "failed". With no self awareness that, perhaps, he was an unworthy Beast to a succession of powerful women.

The very idea of the sacred feminine being so disposable makes me angry. I'm angry we call the Thoth tarot deck the "Crowley deck", and the trad deck the "Rider Waite". When in both cases they were illustrated by women who were occultists in their own right, who brought their own scholarship and insight to the decks, and yet for some reason the decks are still named for men. Lady Frieda Harris and Pamela Coleman-Smith were fiercely talented artists, and mages; but the sacred feminine is disposable and interchangeable.

Plus: high magic is built on drawing together stories and mysticism from throughout history. Crowley writes too fast for me to keep up; for all his flaws, the fucker knows a LOT about history, myth and culture. But those sources...are also all sexist. Arthur's knights; Egyptian myths; if you're drawing from the culture of the world, then you're inevitably drawing from the sexism of the world too.

No shit, this same imagery recurs across cultures? What if I told you that women internationally all experience sexism, in one way or another?

Yet also: from its inception, "sex magic" was very queer indeed.

Homosexual sex was a huge, and I mean huge part of Crowley's practice, and had specific ritual meanings. To do Thelema properly, you pretty much had to be au fait with bisexuality. There were different roles for solo, het and homo sexual acts in different rituals.

Now, I think it's good we've moved away from that. I think it's a Good Thing that people aren't being coerced into sex they're not into (which did happen in Crowley’s original working group). But when you look at sexy satanic imagery. It's all - alt white babes with normative bodies, being vessels and chalices for powerful dominant male avatars. In other word, we've replaced one Sex Expectation with a different one - as I hardly believe those images are the authentic form of sexual expression for 100% of Satanists.

I definitely like to consider queerness as a broader term, representing sex which is non-normative, and reflects genuine self-expression and will. And I think that's definitely key to the role queerness should play in Satanic/Thelemic/High magics. It's not so much about symbolic rituals between males and females, but about freedom, pleasure, the body, things for which you need to know your own desire and own it.

For some people, that's going to be ravishment by goat.

--

But it boils down to certain sexual expectations existing in magic, expectations that are unequal.

For Crowley, the expectations included gay sex; nowadays, it seemingly includes normative bodies, and het sex.

And unequal because, no matter how often a mage or a witch talks about men and women having equal, complimentary sacred roles...I don't believe it. I don't think anyone does. Crowley saw sacred women as interchangeable. Modern sexy Satanic art always puts a male figure dominant over a female one - by turning Baphomet's queer body into an explicitly male body (Have you ever seen sexy Baph art where Baph is a woman, or even a trans person? Of course you haven't. The cock maketh the man).

Sometimes I think, maybe it's sexist for me to be rejecting symbolic female imagery. Maybe disliking the passive/the cup/the receptive/the mystery is actually all about how I subconsciously rate masculinity over femininity. But no, it's just a shitty role. It still places active, will, and decision making as male qualities; "the sacred male embodies curiosity about the secret and hidden world of women, who hold the key to the mysteries" was clearly made up by male undergrads who desperately needed to get laid. The idea that women have a mysterious knowledge could only ever have been made up by a man. I don’t even know how to book a train ticket.

But it's endemic magically.  

And...when you look at Thelma and Baphomet and stuff, it's a deeply queer ideology, where a true mage is neither male nor female, and engages sexually with both men and women.

And there doesn't seem to be a way to engage with it queerly, without relying at some stage on "here are the magical qualities of men and of women". You know, you could as a trans person with a Baphomet body use it to channel both male and female energies more potently, but there is nothing present in our magical culture challenging the fundamental man-as-active-lance-wielder and woman-as-passive-mysterious-vessel symbolism.

What can be done? Here are some thoughts.

So the role of sex in both high magic and Wicca and all that jazz goes something like this. Men and women have different symbolic roles. The true mage is powerful enough to have access to both energies. Sex is a kind of metaphor for the magical/alchemical process, where the male and female come together. Or magic is a kind of metaphor for sex, surpressed in our puritanical society. Either way, the coming together of opposites into a unity is a powerful magical symbol and magical act.

For those of you who just threw up a little in your mouth, let's try and make something a touch queerer and less essentalist from this mess.

"Male and Female energies"

Instead of relying on traditional symbols, seek out your own associations for the male and the female. What qualities do you associate with men? With women? With people who are neither? Build your own set of correspondences. Build up a list of figures who embody different genders as a personal bank of symbols.

Assuming you're coming from a queerfeminist bent, do try and come up with positive and negative qualities for both. “Men are inherently powerful dominant oppressors” is more or less what men have been saying since the dawn of time ;p

When thinking about sexual pairings - what associations do you have with these things? Trad gender magic plays with ideas of two halves of a whole coming together - sex, and metaphors for it, are at the core of most of it. Don't just consider the associations of men-with-women. What symbolism do you find in ff and mm couplings? What do you find when you consider other genders? Try and focus on the kinds of sex you have (or don't have) to avoid being needlessly skeezy. What is the meaning? What power and energies can you find in the kinds of things you do?

Think about non-sexual pairings. Trad gender magic always, at some point, boils down to a penis doing something with a vagina. Is that the most important way what people of different genders interact? Are there different, perhaps more powerful acts and behaviors, which could take the role of the sexual act in your gender magic.

Try and be aware of your cultural baggage. You don't have to reject it outright - pop culture magic has taught us that something doesn't have to be real to be powerful - but do know what you're dealing with, where it's coming from, and use that awareness to oomph up what you do. If you want to have feminine chalices, that's fine.

The goal is to yes, use gendered symbolism, but to use it on your own terms, and find your own meanings. It won't reflect reality perfectly. It won't necessarily have a lot to do with being a person in the world. It will always be slightly objectifying.  

But you can probably do better than "women are indistinguishable vessels for men".

"The Mage is both Male and Female, as symbolised by Baphomet"

Be aware of your relationship to gender. If you are transgender or non-binary, you can incorporate that experience if you like.

How do you feel about that? What are your positive experiences of your gender? What qualities of other genders do you wish to cultivate? What sort of gender-based role models do you have and why?

I think the key is that mages ought to be powerful - if there are male and female energies, the mage must master both. Look back at your personal list of gender symbolism, and cultivate mastery of these things. If gender differences isn't a big thing in your life or system, replace this with seeking mastery over key dualities which are in your system.

If you do this, then reconsider whether sex is part of your system at all. For example, if your key duality is light and darkness - the dawn and the dusk, where the two powers are mingled as one, likely has the same charge as sex has in a system where the two powers are male and female.

"Sex magic which ought to be done as follows"

Sex magic & symbolism has two sorts of things going on.

The first is alchemical - the combination of opposites is powerful. We've already touched on this, but look at your sexuality - your real, authentic sexuality - and find its unique meanings and power. It could still be based on opposites coming together - but opposites with more egalitarian symbolism. A gay couple could find their magic in working with sameness; or with difference (say, butch-femme); or with something completely unrelated (say, the magic of reciprocity, of giving and receiving, which you practice with all your partners)

The second is the more Satanic approach, where it's about expressing yourself and hedonism. For this, too, you need to be expressing your authentic self, working on shame, working to tune out society's expectations. Again, if your authentic sexual self is monogamous and vanilla, this is as excellent and beautiful as any other expression. The greatest power is to be found in something you enjoy.

An important part of either approach is, of course, freely given consent. Violating the free will of others is Satanic no no.

"This is all bullshit"

...and that's ok. For a long time, I avoided gender magic entirely. I still think that's a wise approach.

Because I increasingly want to do the high magic thing, just without being someone’s bloody chalice; I'm hoping to use this framework to prevent my brains from dribbling out of my ears.

But if you want to ignore gender, that's cool too.

[poorquentyn]

Bestie! So yesterday I was thinking a lot about "The Drowned Man" as a chapter, and considering whether I would rank it among the best of AFFC (certainly)/ASOIAF (probs?). But since you're infinitely better at themes and ironborn stuff than I am, I wanted to hear you wax about it 😊

Hey Nina The Stand summed it up nicely in this description of Euron’s true identity forerunner Randall Flagg:

When he walked into a meeting, the hysterical babble ceased–the backbiting, recriminations, accusations, the ideological rhetoric. For a moment there would be dead silence and they would start to turn to him and then turn away, as if he had come to them with some old and terrible engine of destruction cradled in his arms, something a thousand times worse than the plastic explosive made in the basement labs of renegade chemistry students or the black market arms obtained from some greedy army post supply sergeant. It seemed that he had come to them with a device gone rusty with blood and packed for centuries in the Cosmoline of screams but now ready again, carried to their meeting like some infernal gift, a birthday cake with nitroglycerine candles. 

I’d probably call “The Drowned Man” the central chapter of AFFC, as Attewell argued RE Catelyn III ACOK. All the moods and ideas of the book are as one here: the comprehensive expression of the feast, the crows, and how we got ourselves to the point of watching the worst of said crows descending on said feast. That element of playing witness is very central to the chapter, because for all the political and metaphysical implications at play, “The Drowned Man” is ultimately rooted in our POV character.

Aeron Greyjoy’s story is a religiously-inflected gauntlet of nightmares, designed to pierce his external performance (the Voice of God) and his inner defenses (the fog of repression surrounding his abuser, rendered as desperate mantras and flashes of imagery). The chapter opens with Damphair acknowledging, well before Dragonbinder and Euron’s triumph, that his armor is down:

Only when his arms and legs were numb from the cold did Aeron Greyjoy struggle back to shore and don his robes again.

He had run before the Crow’s Eye as if he were still the weak thing he had been, but when the waves broke over his head they reminded once more that that man was dead. I was reborn from the sea, a harder man and stronger.

This follows directly not only on him fleeing the feast tent in “The Iron Captain,” but also on his solo ruminations in “The Prophet,” in which Euron functioned as an offstage catalyst to Aeron’s fearful inner journey, helping us understand them both. That earlier chapter is at heart about measuring the gap between Aeron’s public persona and his inner demons, come home to roost. He starts off as secure as he can be (on the surface, which is all he allows himself to access), sure in his god, sure in himself, sure that CPR constitutes a miracle; he’s demanding imperiously of nobles if they’ve been drowned properly, aware of his cultural cachet and seeking to increase it.

And then, his “mighty pillars” come crashing down, and he is a child again, listening to his bedroom door squeak open.

Aeron was almost at the door when the maester cleared his throat, and said, “Euron Crow’s Eye sits the Seastone Chair.”

The Damphair turned. The hall had suddenly grown colder. The Crow’s Eye is half a world away. Balon sent him off two years ago, and swore that it would be his life if he returned. “Tell me,” he said hoarsely.

So as with Arianne’s queenmaking in Dorne, while the kingsmoot is at one level a collective expression of cultural defiance and a self-conception as separate from mainland Westeros, it’s also a deeply personal, intra-familial maneuver. Arianne’s rebelling against what she believes to be her father’s betrayal, and Aeron’s taking refuge in tradition as a defense against his abuser’s return. The Dornish plot, for all its many aspects and resonances, boils down to Doran and Arianne facing each other down across a cyvasse board, and the Ironborn plot, while also a social and cultural interrogation, takes as its engine Aeron’s fear and hatred of Euron.

Perhaps consequently, the peace and strength Aeron finds in the sea is the fragile, flickering heart of his character (more than ever in “The Forsaken”). It is genuine and moving, despite the lack of actual divine communication. 

No mortal man could frighten him, no more than the darkness could, nor the bones of his soul, the grey and grisly bones of his soul.

Memories are the bones of the soul: such a lovely weaving-together of the ethereal and the concrete! By repeatedly using the bones of Nagga’s Hill to symbolize Aeron’s internal struggle, GRRM links the overarching political ramifications of the Ironborn plot to the one-on-one confrontation of Aeron and Euron. His eye for the personal inside the large-scale movements of the plot is for me what makes all the new POVs in the Feastdance work so well; Cersei, Brienne, Asha, Arianne, Quentyn, and Jon Connington also have this kind of searingly intimate moment that draws you in so close it’s as if they’ve been POVs since book one.

And so the politics can begin, GRRM setting the scene in patient, exquisite fashion.

Dark clouds ran before the wind as the first light stole into the world. The black sky went grey as slate; the black sea turned grey-green; the black mountains of Great Wyk across the bay put on the blue-green hues of soldier pines. As color stole back into the world, a hundred banners lifted and began to flap. Aeron beheld the silver fish of Botley, the bloody moon of Wynch, the dark green trees of Orkwood. He saw warhorns and leviathans and scythes, and everywhere the krakens great and golden. Beneath them, thralls and salt wives begin to move about, stirring coals into new life and gutting fish for the captains and the kings to break their fasts. The dawnlight touched the stony strand, and he watched men wake from sleep, throwing aside their sealskin blankets as they called for their first horn of ale. Drink deep, he thought, for we have god’s work to do today.

The sea was stirring too. The waves grew larger as the wind rose, sending plumes of spray to crash against the longships. The Drowned God wakes, thought Aeron. He could hear his voice welling from the depths of the sea. I shall be with you here this day, my strong and faithful servant, the voice said. No godless man will sit my Seastone Chair.

It was there beneath the arch of Nagga’s ribs that his drowned men found him, standing tall and stern with his long black hair blowing in the wind. “Is it time?” Rus asked. Aeron gave a nod, and said, “It is. Go forth and sound the summons.”

In ASOS (oh man spoilers), a lot of powerful people died. AFFC is about the aftermath, examining how the survivors deal with death politically and personally, how the dead are both omnipresent and yet powerless to determine their legacy, and how all of this ultimately amounts to a rolled-out red carpet for the Others. In the specific case of the Ironborn, what we’re dealing with is the reckoning–or lack thereof–with the costs of Balon’s Old Way in the wake of the king’s death. We’ve already seen that dynamic at work in the first three chapters of this storyline, all of which comes to a head here…but before the Greyjoys, we get the other contestants, starting with our favorite candidate:

“The ironborn must have a king,” the priest insisted, after a long silence. “I ask again. Who shall be king over us?”

“I will,” came the answer from below.

At once a ragged cry of “Gylbert! Gylbert King!” went up. The captains gave way to let the claimant and his champions ascend the hill to stand at Aeron’s side beneath the ribs of Nagga. This would-be king was a tall spare lord with a melancholy visage, his lantern jaw shaved clean. His three champions took up their position two steps below him, bearing his sword and shield and banner. They shared a certain look with the tall lord, and Aeron took them for his sons. One unfurled his banner, a great black longship against a setting sun. “I am Gylbert Farwynd, Lord of the Lonely Light,” the lord told the kingsmoot.

Aeron knew some Farwynds, a queer folk who held lands on the westernmost shores of Great Wyk and the scattered isles beyond, rocks so small that most could support but a single household. Of those, the Lonely Light was the most distant, eight days’ sail to the northwest amongst rookeries of seals and sea lions and the boundless grey oceans. The Farwynds there were even queerer than the rest. Some said they were skinchangers, unholy creatures who could take on the forms of sea lions, walruses, even spotted whales, the wolves of the wild sea.

Lord Gylbert began to speak. He told of a wondrous land beyond the Sunset Sea, a land without winter or want, where death had no dominion. “Make me your king, and I shall lead you there,” he cried. “We will build ten thousand ships as Nymeria once did and take sail with all our people to the land beyond the sunset. There every man shall be a king and every wife a queen.”

His eyes, Aeron saw, were now grey, now blue, as changeable as the seas. Mad eyes, he thought, fool’s eyes. The vision he spoke of was doubtless a snare set by the Storm God to lure the ironborn to destruction. The offerings that his men spilled out before the kingsmoot included sealskins and walrus tusks, arm rings made of whalebone, warhorns banded in bronze. The captains looked and turned away, leaving lesser men to help themselves to the gifts. When the fool was done talking and his champions began to shout his name, only the Farwynds took up the cry, and not even all of them. Soon enough the cries of “Gylbert! Gylbert King!” faded away to silence. The gull screamed loudly above them, and landed atop one of Nagga’s ribs as the Lord of the Lonely Light made his way back down the hill.

Y’all know in your hearts he was telling the truth, too. But srsly, we said our piece on Gylbert Farwynd: he’s Good Euron, down to the eyes, creating a mirroring effect. The kingsmoot ends as it begins, with someone promising to elevate the Ironborn above this “dry and dismal vale.” But GRRM knows how to use contrasts as well as parallels—just look how he follows up Gylbert’s vision.

Aeron Damphair stepped forward once more. “I ask again. Who shall be king over us?”

“Me!” a deep voice boomed, and once more the crowd parted.

The speaker was borne up the hill in a carved driftwood chair carried on the shoulders of his grandsons. A great ruin of a man, twenty stones heavy and ninety years old, he was cloaked in a white bearskin. His own hair was snow white as well, and his huge beard covered him like a blanket from cheeks to thighs, so it was hard to tell where the beard ended and the pelt began. Though his grandsons were great strapping men, they struggled with his weight on the steep stone steps. Before the Grey King’s Hall they set him down, and three remained below him as his champions.

Sixty years ago, this one might well have won the favor of the moot, Aeron thought, but his hour is long past.

“Aye, me!” the man roared from where he sat, in a voice as huge as he was. “Why not? Who better? I am Erik Ironmaker, for them who’s blind. Erik the Just. Erik Anvil-Breaker. Show them my hammer, Thormor.” One of his champions lifted it up for all to see; a monstrous thing it was, its haft wrapped in old leather, its head a brick of steel as large as a loaf of bread. “I can’t count how many hands I’ve smashed to pulp with that hammer,” Erik said, “but might be some thief could tell you. I can’t say how many heads I’ve crushed against my anvil neither, but there’s some widows could. I could tell you all the deeds I’ve done in battle, but I’m eight-and-eighty and won’t live long enough to finish. If old is wise, no one is wiser than me. If big is strong, no one’s stronger. You want a king with heirs? I’ve more’n I can count. King Erik, aye, I like the sound o’ that. Come, say it with me. ERIK! ERIK ANVIL-BREAKER! ERIK KING!”

Erik Ironmaker, clearly the Tormund of the Ironborn, is thoroughly grounded in the “dry and dismal vale.” His platform is that he represents the masculine ideal of the Ironborn, full stop. But Asha spots the same problem as Aeron, and gives it voice:

“Erik!” Men moved aside to let her through. With one foot on the lowest step, she said, “Erik, stand up.”

A hush fell. The wind blew, waves broke against the shore, men murmured in each other’s ears.

Erik Ironmaker stared down at Asha Greyjoy. “Girl. Thrice-damned girl. What did you say?”

“Stand up, Erik,” she called. “Stand up and I’ll shout your name with all the rest. Stand up and I’ll be the first to follow you. You want a crown, aye. Stand up and take it.”

The aforementioned masculine ideal is past its sell-by date. Erik wants the crown as a symbol of a life well lived (by his standards), but Asha’s implicitly arguing that this is a debate about the future, not the past. (Of course, her platform has its own blind spots. More in a bit!)

Next up is Dunstan Drumm.

He climbed the hill on his own two legs, and on his hip rode Red Rain, his famous sword, forged of Valyrian steel in the days before the Doom. His champions were men of note: his sons Denys and Donnel, both stout fighters, and between them Andrik the Unsmiling, a giant of a man with arms as thick as trees. It spoke well of the Drumm that such a man would stand for him.

“Where is it written that our king must be a kraken?” Drumm began. “What right has Pyke to rule us? Great Wyk is the largest isle, Harlaw the richest, Old Wyk the most holy. When the black line was consumed by dragonfire, the ironborn gave the primacy to Vickon Greyjoy, aye … but as lord, not king.”

It was a good beginning. Aeron heard shouts of approval, but they dwindled as the old man began to tell of the glory of the Drumms. He spoke of Dale the Dread, Roryn the Reaver, the hundred sons of Gormond Drumm the Oldfather. He drew Red Rain and told them how Hilmar Drumm the Cunning had taken the blade from an armored knight with wits and a wooden cudgel. He spoke of ships long lost and battles eight hundred years forgotten, and the crowd grew restive. He spoke and spoke, and then he spoke still more.

And when Drumm’s chests were thrown open, the captains saw the niggard’s gifts he’d brought them. No throne was ever bought with bronze, the Damphair thought. The truth of that was plain to hear, as the cries of “Drumm! Drumm! Dunstan King!” died away.

On the one hand, he’s absolutely right that the Greyjoys owe their primacy to the very polity against which they’re leading rebellions. On the other, he gets bogged down and fails to offer an affirmative case for something better, reflected in his paltry offerings.

These candidates provide context for the main act: the three Greyjoy candidates. That Victarion has nothing to offer but this…

“You all know me. If you want sweet words, look elsewhere. I have no singer’s tongue. I have an axe, and I have these.” He raised his huge mailed hands up to show them, and Nute the Barber displayed his axe, a fearsome piece of steel. “I was a loyal brother,” Victarion went on. “When Balon was wed, it was me he sent to Harlaw to bring him back his bride. I led his longships into many a battle, and never lost but one. The first time Balon took a crown, it was me sailed into Lannisport to singe the lion’s tail. The second time, it was me he sent to skin the Young Wolf should he come howling home. All you’ll get from me is more of what you got from Balon. That’s all I have to say.”

…resonates with Erik Ironmaker’s pitch. Victarion is the status quo candidate. He’s this guy:

(gif by stevemcqueened.tumblr.com)

Something is rotten in the state of the Iron Islands, and Vic can’t identify it, let alone deal with it. Again, the personal and political are intertwined: deep down, Victarion Greyjoy knows he’s unhappy, but can’t conceive of what to do about it. “Balon 2.0” is enough for many of the captains and kings, but not a majority, because Balon’s failures are becoming harder and harder to ignore.

So how does Balon’s chosen heir respond?

“Nuncle says he’ll give you more of what my father gave you. Well, what was that? Gold and glory, some will say. Freedom, ever sweet. Aye, it’s so, he gave us that … and widows too, as Lord Blacktyde will tell you. How many of you had your homes put to the torch when Robert came? How many had daughters raped and despoiled? Burnt towns and broken castles, my father gave you that. Defeat was what he gave you. Nuncle here will give you more. Not me.”

“What will you give us?” asked Lucas Codd. “Knitting?”

“Aye, Lucas. I’ll knit us all a kingdom.” She tossed her dirk from hand to hand. “We need to take a lesson from the Young Wolf, who won every battle … and lost all.”

“A wolf is not a kraken,” Victarion objected. “What the kraken grasps it does not lose, be it longship or leviathan.”

“And what have we grasped, Nuncle? The north? What is that, but leagues and leagues of leagues and leagues, far from the sound of the sea? We have taken Moat Cailin, Deepwood Motte, Torrhen’s Square, even Winterfell. What do we have to show for it?” She beckoned, and her Black Wind men pushed forward, chests of oak and iron on their shoulders. “I give you the wealth of the Stony Shore,” Asha said as the first was upended. An avalanche of pebbles clattered forth, cascading down the steps; pebbles grey and black and white, worn smooth by the sea. “I give you the riches of Deepwood,” she said, as the second chest was opened. Pinecones came pouring out, to roll and bounce down into the crowd. “And last, the gold of Winterfell.” From the third chest came yellow turnips, round and hard and big as a man’s head. They landed amidst the pebbles and the pinecones. Asha stabbed one with her dirk. “Harmund Sharp,” she shouted, “your son Harrag died at Winterfell, for this.” She pulled the turnip off her blade and tossed it to him. “You have other sons, I think. If you’d trade their lives for turnips, shout my nuncle’s name!”

“And if I shout your name?” Harmund demanded. “What then?”

“Peace,” said Asha. “Land. Victory. I’ll give you Sea Dragon Point and the Stony Shore, black earth and tall trees and stones enough for every younger son to build a hall. We’ll have the northmen too … as friends, to stand with us against the Iron Throne. Your choice is simple. Crown me, for peace and victory. Or crown my nuncle, for more war and more defeat.” She sheathed her dirk again. “What will you have, ironmen?”

Asha comes the closest to Grandpa Quellon’s reformation, but she’s got a fatal blind spot regarding Balon’s wars and their effect on both the North and the Ironborn. The former are not going to accept the latter’s control of the Stony Shore, let alone forge an active alliance against the Iron Throne, especially after what Theon did at Winterfell. Asha doesn’t even stop to consider the Northern perspective on the Ironborn, the cost and consequences of her family’s actions in Stark territory—she just assumes she can create a lasting peace through hostages. But she can’t. The North wants Theon Turncloak’s people gone, which is why Stannis and the Boltons are both trying to win over Northerners by fighting Ironborn. Asha’s ADWD chapters are all about her facing this:

Asha smiled back. “Mormont women are all fighters too.”

The other woman’s smile faded. “What we are is what you made us. On Bear Island every child learns to fear krakens rising from the sea.”

The Old Way. Asha turned away, chains clinking faintly.

Of course, Asha’s also running up against the patriarchy, and many of the captains and kings associate giving up any conquest with a “craven’s peace.” So I’m not entirely blaming Asha here, as again she’s much closer to a sustainable path than her (kraken) uncles, but she fails to offer a sufficiently powerful counter-narrative, and so leaves the door open for Euron. In the moments before he begins his pitch, chaos reigns.

Men began to shove at one another. Someone flung a pinecone at Asha’s head. When she ducked, her makeshift crown fell off. For a moment it seemed to the priest as if he stood atop a giant anthill, with a thousand ants in a boil at his feet. Shouts of “Asha!” and “Victarion!” surged back and forth, and it seemed as though some savage storm was about to engulf them all.

That is the war; that is the feast; that is everything the Others need. So what better “savage storm” to interrupt this “squabbling over spoils” than the apocalypse?

Sharp as a swordthrust, the sound of a horn split the air.

Bright and baneful was its voice, a shivering hot scream that made a man’s bones seem to thrum within him. The cry lingered in the damp sea air: aaaaRREEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

All eyes turned toward the sound. It was one of Euron’s mongrels winding the call, a monstrous man with a shaved head. Rings of gold and jade and jet glistened on his arms, and on his broad chest was tattooed some bird of prey, talons dripping blood.

aaaaRRREEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

The horn he blew was shiny black and twisted, and taller than a man as he held it with both hands. It was bound about with bands of red gold and dark steel, incised with ancient Valyrian glyphs that seemed to glow redly as the sound swelled.

aaaaaaaRRREEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

It was a terrible sound, a wail of pain and fury that seemed to burn the ears. Aeron Damphair covered his, and prayed for the Drowned God to raise a mighty wave and smash the horn to silence, yet still the shriek went on and on. It is the horn of hell, he wanted to scream, though no man would have heard him. The cheeks of the tattooed man were so puffed out they looked about to burst, and the muscles in his chest twitched in a way that it made it seem as if the bird were about to rip free of hisflesh and take wing. And now the glyphs were burning brightly, every line and letter shimmering with white fire. On and on and on the sound went, echoing amongst the howling hills behind them and across the waters of Nagga’s Cradle to ring against the mountains of Great Wyk, on and on and on until it filled the whole wet world.

Such are the bones of Euron’s soul. This is what the inside of his skull looks like: an LSD-soaked portal to hell, driven by blood sacrifice and a keen understanding of the sweet spot between fear and awe. This horror-tinged passage is supposed to feel jarring, like something out of a completely different genre; Euron’s not really a part of the debate he just interrupted, but is rather out to hijack it for his own apocalyptic ends. (Remember: what is signaled by three horn blasts? “Others.”) Look at what he’s disrupting: a “giant anthill.” Damphair’s kingsmoot was made to be bulldozed; it’s a fragile gathering of fragments against the ruin. The weaknesses were there to be exploited…but of course, Euron has to put on his pirate suit to do so.

The Crow’s Eye stopped atop the steps, at the doors of the Grey King’s Hall, and turned his smiling eye upon the captains and the kings, but Aeron could feel his other eye as well, the one that he kept hidden.

“IRONMEN,” said Euron Greyjoy, “you have heard my horn. Now hear my words. I am Balon’s brother, Quellon’s eldest living son. Lord Vickon’s blood is in my veins, and the blood of the Old Kraken. Yet I have sailed farther than any of them. Only one living kraken has never known defeat Only one has never bent his knee. Only one has sailed to Asshai by the Shadow, and seen wonders and terrors beyond imagining …”

GRRM consistently uses the “smiling eye” as a microcosm of Euron’s public face, and the Crow’s Eye as a microcosm of the self he keeps hidden from his fellow Ironborn (other than Aeron). I’m the ultimate pirate, guys, nothing else to see here—just look at my eyepatch, and don’t worry about what I’m hiding underneath it. Indeed, Euron knows his audience well, constructing his argument patiently; only after establishing his Old Way bona fides can he then take the next step.

“My little brother would finish Balon’s war, and claim the north. My sweet niece would give us peace and pinecones.” His blue lips twisted in a smile. “Asha prefers victory to defeat. Victarion wants a kingdom, not a few scant yards of earth. From me, you shall have both.”

For all Euron’s skills, he only wins because both Vic and Asha’s platforms are riddled with flaws—and not only that, the flaws compound each other, allowing Euron to link them together rhetorically as insufficient. This resonates with the captains and kings because the Balon-Aeron-Victarion agenda has immense cultural appeal but has blatantly failed to deliver on its promises, while Asha’s platform would push the Ironborn in a better direction but isn’t convincing enough (emotionally or pragmatically) to be an effective rallying point. Euron, ever the postmodern magpie, steals the most appealing aspects of both and frames it as the ultimate Ironborn dream of conquest. My brothers’ dream has fallen miserably short in reality, and my niece is telling you stop dreaming. The former cannot defeat the greenlanders, the latter is telling you to admit that—in a way that won’t bring peace anyway! I will be the best of both worlds, doing what the former cannot and the latter wants to give up on. In short: Euron tells the Ironborn that they’re losers but can be winners if they follow and imitate him, whereas Victarion won’t admit they’re losers and Asha won’t let them win. It’s such a potent appeal to cultural self-conception and resentment that it even sways Damphair, if only for a moment:

“We are the ironborn, and once we were conquerors. Our writ ran everywhere the sound of the waves was heard. My brother would have you be content with the cold and dismal north, my niece with even less … but I shall give you Lannisport. Highgarden. The Arbor. Oldtown. The riverlands and the Reach, the kingswood and the rainwood, Dorne and the marches, the Mountains of the Moon and the Vale of Arryn, Tarth and the Stepstones. I say we take it all! I say, we take Westeros.” He glanced at the priest. “All for the greater glory of our Drowned God, to be sure.”

For half a heartbeat even Aeron was swept away by the boldness of his words. The priest had dreamed the same dream, when first he’d seen the red comet in the sky. We shall sweep over the green lands with fire and sword, root out the seven gods of the septons and the white trees of the northmen …

But the rest of the crowd, of course, sees only the “smiling eye.” Our POV knows better, and being in Aeron’s head primes us to see the cracks in Euron’s facade, the tears in his pirate suit. Only Aeron recognizes, at chapter’s end, that Euron is out to dethrone the gods.

Even a priest may doubt. Even a prophet may know terror. Aeron Damphair reached within himself for his god and discovered only silence. [Because that’s the name of Euron’s ship, you see] As a thousand voices shouted out his brother’s name, all he could hear was the scream of a rusted iron hinge.

Euron cares not for the Seastone Chair, nor even the Iron Throne, not really. So what is he in this for?

“Crow’s Eye, you call me. Well, who has a keener eye than the crow? After every battle the crows come in their hundreds and their thousands to feast upon the fallen. A crow can espy death from afar. And I say that all of Westeros is dying. Those who follow me will feast until the end of their days.”

There it is, right? AFFC summarized: “all of Westeros is dying.” The war has rendered Westeros a fit meal for Euron…and the Others. And indeed, the “anthill” of the kingsmoot is a perfect microcosm of that political impotence in the face of the abyss. That’s the message “The Drowned Man” communicates: we let Trump Euron happen. As I’ve argued before, the essence of great horror isn’t that the monsters are at the door. It’s that we’re going to let them in.