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beetlejuice!
{beetlejuice!satoru gojo x f!reader}
â â may you never forget me â âȘ àŒâ
summary: living as a psychic medium was like a ticket straight to nothing in your life, you always accidentally creeping people out and scaring them when you talked about it, and you just feeling emptyâ like something was missing and vacant in your life with no explanation as to why. but upon stumbling through an attic inside a house of a recently deceased couple, you meet himâ beetlejuice, a silly and wacky man who was damned to live in the attic for eternity due to him breaking the rules, you never having met a spirit so forward and flirtatious in your life as you quickly bonded. but when beetlejuice presents the idea of you being able to break his contract and finally set him free, you hesitate at the one condition⊠marrying him.
warnings: MDNI afab!reader, DIABOLICAL angst my god, angst w/ comfort though YIPPEEE, mentions of death, mentions of murder, reader is a psychic medium, fluuufff, SMUUUTTT, p in v sex, DOM AFF SATORU MEOOWWW, unprotected sex (wrap it yâall), creampie, oral, blowie, mentions of ghosts and spirits and things, loosely inspired by the 80s movie, mentions of reader having âpink cheeksâ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 19.8k
authors note: YEEEEEOOOOWWWW GET READY YALLâŠ.. SHES FREAKY⊠SHES ANGSTY⊠AND SHES THE MOMEEEENNTTTT omg i absolutely LOOOVEDDD writing this one so much and i hope you guys find it interesting or iâm gonna CRYYYY HEHEHEH no iâm jk but as always, i love you SO SO SO much and thank you for all of your love and support !! MWAAAHHH <333
youâve always had a knack for the paranormal.
and from the newspaper clippings you saw and the meddlesome whisperings of your fellow neighbors, newlyweds adam and barbara maitland died on their way home from a day out in the townâ swerving in their vehicle while crossing over a bridge and crashing through the side of it, evidently sending themselves tumbling down to the river below and drowning.
it was the biggest tragedy your tiny town had ever been hit with, the maitlandâs having renovated their house on the hill from scratch and had recently just finished it when the accident happened, the both of them in the midst of planning their honeymoon to get away from winter river for a little while, happy and in love and looking forward to a quiet serene life together.
it was a shame, really, and it only took two weeks for rumors to spread about how there were always weird moving shadows from the windows of their two story home, or slight flashings of neon blue or white seeping through the cracks of their front doorâ all of which pissed the realtors off seeing as the rumors prevented the house from being sold again, prospected buyers coming in with high hopes only to be scared off once they so even explored the town, a store clerk or a fellow neighbor quick to tell them of the gossip and to stay away, ultimately causing the house to collect dust and cobwebs until realtors decided they wouldnât bother much with it anymore.
and the rumors always peaked your interest, as your entire life youâve always had a passion for the supernatural seeing as your late parents were psychic mediums for the otherworldly, a beautiful ominous gift that was relayed to you from the moment you were able to correctly comprehend sentences, your mind and soul more welcoming to spirits of the unknown compared to regular folk who flat out refused.
and why? you didnât know. they were just mystic entities that perhaps couldnât find their way to the other side like they were intended, and if the rumors were true, the maitlandâs were in the same predicament, and you felt like they just needed time and space without the pestering of realtors or dumb kids knocking on the windows to see if a ghost would pop outâ deserving of a proper chance to figure it out.
except your boyfriend wouldnât understand that either.
âbabe câmon!â he pleaded with you, a distressed look on his face. âi thought you liked creepy ghost shit?â
you scoffed. âyes rin but not to fucking break in and steal their things! what the hellâs the matter with you?!â
rin groaned and rubbed his eyes, his friends obviously annoyed and bothered by your defiance and it only made you feel awkward, sitting there on your desk chair in your college dorm and guiltily picking at your black nail polish.
ây/n we literally cannot go if you donât go.â he pushed. âwe need your ghost brain to tell us if theyâre around so we can scram if they decide to kill us.â
you snorted, already aggravated by rinâs lack of respect and wholeheartedly believing dumb stereotypes.
âyouâre committing a crimeââ
âthe house is abandoned! no one gives a shit!â he threw his arms up. âbabe câmon iâm serious itâs getting late and weâre losing time.â
why wasnât he listening?
âwhat are you looking for anyways?â you mumbled.
âmoney.â he replied, grabbing his black bag and swinging it over his shoulder. âthatâs literally it i wonât take anything else.â
âdo you swear?â you peered up at him. âdonât take jewelry or any of their things just money and we get out.â
âyeah we wonât! right guys?â
rin looked over both of his shoulders to ensure that his friends agreed, them muttering and sighing as you gnawed at the inside of your cheek and feeling embarrassed for some reason, slowly standing and crossing your arms.
you never liked his friends.
âand leave me out of it okay?â you spoke. âwe could get kicked out of college for this i donât know how youâre not worriedâŠâ
he swung a heavy arm around your shoulders and nudged you on, you stumbling a bit as he basically had a lock around your neck on your way outside.
âtheyâre not gonna care y/n.â he dismissed, unlocking the car and his friends piling in the back while you settled in the passenger seat. ânobody will. itâs abandoned.â
the entire way there you were aggravated and guilty, rin and his friends babbling on about the valuable things theyâd hope to find and the kind of ghosts they thought would appear, not a single person in the car an actual believer of those paranormal rumors as they poked fun and teased, your forehead against the glass of the window and miserable as rin drove up the steep hillâ the night chilly and so dark that you could barely make out the shape of the house until you were just about to pull up to the driveway.
rin turned off his headlights and tuned down the radio to avoid drawing attention, steering wheel shifting a little to the right so the car could gradually round over and stop next to the front steps of the porchâ rin shutting off the ignition once he parked and stuffing his keys into his pocket.
and you could immediately feel a presence even from outside the house, your arms stiff and tingly as you all quietly got out of the car and made your way to the stairs, dry dirt crinkling beneath your shoes as you tried to swallow back your nerves knowing that at any moment you could all be fucking arrested.
âare you sensing ghosts?â rin whispered, a sly teasing grin on his face as the floorboards of the porch creaked with your movements, his hand reaching and jiggling the doorknob.
âyeah.â
his eyes snapped over to you. ââŠreally? yeah right.â
âno iâm serious.â you whispered back. âwhat did you bring me for if youâre not even gonna believe when i tell youââ
âokay! okay iâm sorry.â he apologized, though it didnât seem genuine as he patted your back. âi believe you trust me.â
âwaitâ she said thereâs ghosts?â one of his friends piped up. âhow do you know?â
you went to answer but rin beat you to it.
âsheâs a psychic⊠i guess.â he unzipped his bag and pulled out a mini tool kit, a mix of screwdrivers and bobby pins inside. âshe can sense them.â
âoh my godâŠâ another one mumbled, all of his friends eerie now. ârinâ i thought you said those rumors were bullshit.â
your eyes narrowed. âyou said that?â
âno!â i mean, technically yes butââ he took two bobby pins from the kit and put the rest of the box away, hunching down to lock pick the knob. âyou guys really think any of that is real? itâs just the neighbors man theyâre boredââ
âpeople here donât just make up rumors like that rin.â you cut him off. âthe majority of winter river is elderly and in retirement why the fuck would they be making upââ
âbecause theyâre old and boredââ
the lock released a prominent click and rin tested the doorknob again, this time it turning all the way and opening as he pushed it wide, you all proceeding cautiously and it somehow being colder inside than it was outside as the group shined their flashlights around every corner and space, not bothering to tell your boyfriend that the presence you felt earlier was ten times stronger now, for rin never really believed you or just thought you were being funny whenever you mentioned things like that to him.
you had known rin since the start of college, him always the rebel dickish type as he didnât follow directions or liked whenever people tried to tell him what to do, and how you ended up crossing paths with him and it sticking was something that was a mystery to you.
rin was everything you wanted at first.
and though he was a bit selfish, you foolishly looked past the fact and let him meddle his way into your already monotonous life, it being hard for you to make friends in the first place because of your psychic abilitiesâ always feeling like something was missing and⊠vacant for years growing up without any explanation as to exactly why, figuring it was just the side effects of your parentsâ passing.
but it still didnât help when youâd accidentally partake in scaring off and weirding people out when you mentioned that you just saw their deceased relative wander by, rin being one of the first to actually stay because he didnât believe you, choosing to turn a blind eye to something you treasured about yourself the most, stuck and left to wonder if there was ever someone who did.
but turning a blind eye to just your psychic ability became him turning a blind eye to everything about you, and you felt like he never really listened to what you had to say or cared, often switching the topic back to himself or giving you a series of âmhmâsâ and âyeahâsâ to get you to move on.
you didnât feel seen anymore, but you loved him still for some reason.
âwhere do we even look?â one of his friends whispered, the lot of you traveling as a group through the entry room and down the hall to the kitchen.
âwherever you think a money bank would be.â rin mumbled, leading you all and going round to the living room, his flashlight shining over dusty furniture and spiderwebs. âi think itâd be better if we split up. half of us can take upstairs and the others can look through the kitchen, y/n and i are gonna dig through here for a bitââ
âwhat?â you spoke, his friends nodding and walking off to their designated areas. ârin no i told you iâm notââ
âoh my god babeâ would it really hurt you to just peek in some freaking drawers? let me know if something looks like it has money in it alright?â
he stepped over to the middle and crouched by the coffee table, opening and closing several compartments. âbe useful please.â
you scoffed. âyouâre the one who dragged me here and i told you i wasnât getting involved.â
âyouâre not.â he mumbled, standing back up and going over to a big brown dresser on the side. âjust look at shit and donât touch anything. tell me if you see money.â
you rubbed your cheek in exhausted frustration, thinking itâd be better to just mindlessly look around to appease him as you caught and stared at the photographs over by the fireplaceâ a wedding portrait of whom you assumed to be adam and barbara maitland propped up amongst others of family and friends, your fingers raising to gently wipe away the dirt and grime from the glass to get a clearer look of them.
you felt awful that their lives were taken from them just when they had built such a loving foundation for it, and you felt even more awful that rin and his stupid friends were invading their space and stealing in the way that they were with no sense of respect.
a sudden loud thud from upstairs made you and rin stop in your tracks, the both of you unmoving as you tried to listen.
âiâm gonnaââ you gnawed at your bottom lip. âiâm gonna check upstairsââ
âno absolutely not.â rin shook his head. âitâs probably just my friends itâs fine.â
âif itâs the maitlandâs your friends arenât gonna know what to do besides shit themselvesââ
âokay yeah sure.â he laughed, opening and closing different drawers from top to bottom. âitâs the house babe itâs old and worn out. maybe theâ wood or whatever is acting up.â
you pursed your lips, arms crossing and apprehensive as you stood next to him, knowing with everything in you that the maitlandâs were definitely still present.
âcan we please just go rin...â you asked softly. âplease weâllâ weâll find a different building thatâs actually abandoned and doesnât have the maitlandâs still hereââ
he scoffed. ây/n this one is abandoned.â
âbut itâs only been three months!â you exclaimed. âi donât wanna do this to themââ
ââoh sweet! thereâs a rolex in hereââ
âno!â you snatched the watch from his upheld hand and backed away towards the fireplace. âyou swore to me just money these are their thingsââ
ây/n theyâre dead! who fucking cares? all of their shitâs gonna be donated might as well pawn it.â
âyeah for your own benefit right?â you mumbled, pushing past him and walking down the hall. âiâm going home.â
he looked at you baffled. âare you serious? over a dumb watch?â
ârin youâve gone back on everything you promised and youâre not taking me seriouslyââ
âdid i take the watch? no i didnât so stopââ
âiâm not talking about just the watch!â
âyou know what?! fine!â rin shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out his keys, chucking them at you and hitting against your chest as you scrambled to catch them. âgo wait in the car.â
you threw them back and they hit his upper arm, his eyes narrowing at you in return as he then bent down to grab them from the floor.
âiâm not waiting in the damn car iâm walking home.â
âyouâre walking?â he shook his head. âback to your dorm? thatâs gonna take you like an hour y/n.â
you shrugged.
âfine go i donât give a shit.â rin muttered and rolled his eyes. âyou always do this manââ
you didnât bother to stick around for anything else he had to say as you trudged on down the hall and back to the main entryway, tears brimming your eyes at the lack of care he had for you and scolding yourself for the thousandth time for staying with him, trying to understand why he was like this with you when all youâve ever done was be patient and give him the benefit of the doubt when he didnât fucking deserve it.
it was hard for you to tell if he even loved you anymore, and you always psyched yourself out that he did whenever heâd barely just accomplish doing the bare minimum.
upon arriving at the front door, you placed the rolex gently on a lonesome night stand by the coat hanger, your hand reaching and turning the knob to step outside until another loud thud shook through the walls, and louder this time as you pulled back and craned your head to look up the stairs.
muffled voices seeped from the top as they gasped and whispered to each other to shush, you recognizing some to be rinâs friends with irritation and worry simmering in your brain, wondering if they were messing with the maitlandâs things and stealing what they werenât supposed to steal, as they were just as uncaring and selfish as rin was throughout the time that youâve gotten to know them.
and with that in mind, you let go of the doorknob and quietly walked up the stairs, every creak and groan from the wooden slabs underneath your feet making you wince as you went further and further until you reached the top, you sighing as you saw that the maitlandâs room door was wide fucking open and with snickering inside.
but with each step that you took to get closer⊠the more prominent the goosebumps on your arms became and the heavier the feeling in your gut grew, a strange apparent flickering light from your right blinding your vision for a moment as you stopped and turned to look.
your eyes slightly widened, a neon lime green foggy light practically oozing from the attic staircase as it streamed over half of your frame, luring you in with your body mindlessly and curiously walking towards it and up the rugged squeaky stairs, fingers quickly reaching up to swing the attic door open and halting in alarm once you did, the green aluminous light from earlier completely encasing you entirely now as you stepped forward inside the attic.
the door swung and slammed itself shut suddenly, you jumping and spinning around with hurried hands coming up to pull and tug at the knob, breathing irregular upon realizing that it wouldnât fucking budge and was somehow jammed with no explanation as to exactly howâ
âboyfriend troubles?â
âoh my god!â you screamed, hand flying over your heart as your eyes snapped to the source, a tall lanky man standing there with a little grin and vibrant pale blue eyes that only utterly confused you, his vertically stripped black and white suit peculiar and unique as your frantic eyes darted over his figure.
you knew for a fact that the strange man before you wasnât adam maitland, for the way he looked now didnât match the pictures you saw in the newspapers at all, you swallowing thickly and slowly backing up against the attic door with your heart dropping straight down to your ass.
who the fuck was he? was heâ was he a spirit? because if not thereâs a random man literally just basking and relaxing inside theâ
ârelax! relax jeez you look like youâre about to vomit sweets.â
sweets?
âare you dead?!â you blurted, hand scrambling behind you for the doorknob. âare youâ are you alive how are youââ
he laughed loudly and wiggled his little index fingerâ scrunching it up and down to elicit a âyesâ and finding your skittishness a little funny.
âyup! so dead very dead.â
âoâ oh⊠okay...â you spoke softly, tense shoulders gradually relaxing as you gave him a small timid smile, relieved that he wasnât a freaking squatter and doing god knows what up in the attic.
âyou seem happier to see a dead man rather than a live one...â he looked at you amusedly. âyou like ghosts? scary stuff? haunted houses? handsome me?ââ
you nearly choked on your spit at his last comment, an awkward smile wobbling across your face as you played with your fingers.
âiâ i um..â you looked around, your eyes catching a book titled âhandbook for the recently deceasedâ sitting neatly on a dusty table by the door. âyou could say that.. butââ
you hesitated, the manâs head tilting to the side as he waited for you to continue.
âbut what pretty?â
you blushed furiously, never having met a spirit so forward before.
âsorry butâ how did you end up here?â you stood on your tippy toes to peer over his shoulders and around the attic. âand where are the maitlands?â
âoh, those lousy goodie two shoed meanies?â he mumbled, pouting and bitter as he crossed his arms. âbeats me..â
you laughed a little, guard slowly coming down as he didnât seem or feel like a bad person to you, and you thought that perhaps he was in the same boat as the maitlands and was just trying to find his way to the other side.
âwhy are they meanies?â you smiled, and he reciprocated, arms falling to his sides.
âwellâ iâm kind of being held in the attic against my will by theâ holy shit wait!â
he threw his hands out in front of him and took quick stride full steps towards you, a wild excited expression on his face and you stiffening up again, backing up against the door.
âyou can help me!â
âhelp⊠you..?â you squeaked.
he vigorously nodded. âyeah! the butthead caseworkers down in the netherworld banned me from leaving the attic⊠but you can give me a little leg room in my contract sweets!â
netherworldâ caseworkersâ bannedâ
âhuh?!â you exclaimed, brows furrowed and utterly confused at everything he was fucking saying.
youâve only ever seen spirits from afar or casually talked to them about something fleeting before they went on their marry way, but never in your life have you met such a complex soul that was so animate and asking you for a favor straight off the bat⊠as spirits usually justâ knew what they were doing and eventually figured out how to get to the great beyond.
so the subject of caseworkers and the netherworld and whatever the fuck else he was rambling on about was something you were not familiar with.
âi did something they didnât like.â he gave you a boyish half smile. âso they did some ritual thing and now i canât leave the attic.â
you frowned. âwhy would they do that? what did you do?â
he waved you off and swung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you forward with him towards a huge 3D model in the center of the room that you barely just noticedâ intricate and detailed and colorful as your brain put two and two together and figured out that it was a model of the entire city of winter river.
âdonât worry about it! but i overheard juno telling her assistants not to say my name three times or else iâll be let out to roam around the houseââ
juno? whoâs juno?
ââand thatâs why i really need you sweets because iâm dying in this fucking attic⊠way more than i already am.â
you blinked at him. âiâve neverâ iâve seen spirits all my life and iâve never had any of them tell me about caseworkers? and juno? whoâs juno?â
âthe rule is that the land of the living isnât supposed to know.â he pursed his lips and dropped his arm from your shoulders, picking up the book that you had spotted earlier and passing it to you. âsays it in the handbook.â
you timidly took it from him and flittered through the pages, old and crinkly and a little worn out as the gist of the pages you saw was a guide for those beginning their post-livelihood and the steps they needed to do soâ from waiting rooms in the netherworld to being assigned a caseworker to help you out to the great beyond and so forth, your eyes falling on a particular page and catching specific line.
âlive people ignore the strange and unusual.â
they do. wrongfully they do.
and since people had been ignoring you out of fear your whole life⊠did that mean you were strange and unusual too?
âwhat?â the unknown man spoke, softly as his blue gaze switched between your solemn expression and the book, shifting his position to stand right next to you and see what you were looking at.
âoh sorry!â you laughed it off, closing the book and placing it down. ânothing i was justââ
ââlive people ignore the strange and unusual?ââ he repeated. âwhat about it?â
you shook your head and sent him a small smile. ânothing! i was just lookingââ
âjust because you can see spirits doesnât mean youâre strange or unusual.â
you stilled, eyes big as you watched the way he froze up over what he said, sheepishly relaxing after a moment and lifting an arm to pat over your head.
âsorry pretty. i can read and manipulate minds and i poked in yours...â he looked at you apologetically. âitâs another reason why they threw me in this shit hole.â
he dropped his hand then, a sincere glint in his eyes. âbut i mean it.â
âi donât knowâŠâ you mumbled, looking down and playing with the hem of your skirt. âiâve never really had friends because of it⊠and i feel like that book kind of confirmed what iâve been thinking.â
you quickly picked your head up. âoh butâ itâs okay! iâm okay iâm used to it spirits are nicer anyways and iâve always been alone soââ
âthatâs not true.â he mumbled.
your brows furrowed. âwhat do you mean?â
he funnily froze up again. âwhat do i mean what?â
âwhatâs not true?â
âoh! thatâ that spirits are nicer!â he quickly sputtered. âtheyâre assholes. all of them. every single one. including me!â
you giggled at his franticness and a smile spread across his face at that, endearing as he watched you slowly cheer up.
âpeopleâs ignorance doesnât define who you are sweets.â he spoke gently. âso donât give them that right. you look perfectly fine to me!â
your eyes softened, wondering what the hell this man did that made the caseworkers down in the netherworld ritual him into a contract, as you were convinced it wasnât even that bad at all and just straight up unfair, him being one of the kindest and silliest souls youâve probably ever had the privilege to come across.
âiâll help you.â
his eyes snapped to yours. âhuh?â
âiâll help you!â you spoke sweetly. âiâll say your name three times so you can leave the attic.â
âwhaâ really?!â he exclaimed excitedly, hands animatedly flying everywhere as they went from digging into his white locks to all over his suit and then thrown out to grip over your shoulders, shaking you as you giggled again. âholy shit will you actually?!â
âyeah! why not?â you grinned. âi donât think itâs right that youâre stuck up here all alone.â
âangel! angel! youâre an angel!â he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and stuffed your face into his chest, squishing you so fucking tight and honestly holding you way longer than he shouldâve, but you not minding one tiny bit as you hugged him back and smoothed a comforting friendly hand over his broad shoulders.
âwhatâs your name then?â you muffled against his suit. âso i canââ
âahhh fuck.â he muttered. âi forgot about one thing.â
you pulled back a little. âhm?â
âi canât tell you my name.â
âwhat?â you looked at him confusedly. âwhat do you mean? why not?â
âitâs part of the stupid contract sweets...â he sighed heavily. âbut i can give you clues! ooo!â like charades! ready?â
âoh! oâokay!â you nodded, him finally letting you go and stepping back.
âdonât freak out.â he grinned in a silly way. âiâm about to make things show up.â
your eyebrows furrowed. âmake things show up?â
he waved his hand and a life sized fucking black bug appeared out of nowhere, landing on one of the old wooden rocking chairs in the corner of the room as it wiggled its little legs and peered around, you screaming and flying behind the strange blue eyed man while he laughed loudly and looked over his shoulders for you.
âitâs okay! just a figment of your imagination is all.â he cheesed. âbut guess now!â
âguess what?!â you shrieked.
âwhat that is!â he pointed to the bug.
you peeked an eye out from his side, the bug still gross and horrifying as it wiggled itâs antennas.
âa bug!â
âwhat kind?â
âa beetle!â
âyes!â he nodded vigorously. âokay thatâs the first part!â
âyour name starts with beetle?!ââ
he waved his hand again and the bug disappeared, a carton of orange juice replacing it instead and floating in mid air, a shiny glass cup next to it as you amazedly watched it pour its bright orange contents into the cup without spilling a single drop.
ââŠorange juice?â you spoke softly, timidly coming around from behind him. âyour names beetle orange juice?â
ânot quite!â he made a drinking motion with his hand.
âbeetle drinking orange juice?â
he laughed. âno! youâre adding too many words pretty take some out.â
âbeetle drinking juice?â
ânope.â
âbeetle drinking orange?â
âcolder.â
âbeetlejuice?ââ
âyes!â he threw his hands out, eyes wild and excited. âyes that! and youâve already said it once now just two more timesââ
âbeetlejuice.â
âuh huh uh huhââ
âbeetleâ mmph!â
a pair of hands clasped over your mouth from behind you and pulled you back, you letting out a muffled scream as you thrashed and quickly pried their fingers away, you spinning around and fully expecting to see rin behind you with a shit eating grin and laughing in your face for scaring you.
except it wasnât rin.
it was the maitlands.
âdonât say his name honey.â barbara spoke first. âtrust me⊠donât.â
âi meanâ are we sure about this sweetheart?â adam looked at his wife. âmaybe he isnât all that bad⊠hell we donât even know for sureââ
barbara shook her head. âadam, did you not hear a word juno said? he was about to take advantage of that poor girl!â
take advantage?
you heard a scoff behind you and you turned around, a disgruntled and pissed off look on beetlejuiceâs face as he crossed his arms.
âjeez i know you donât like me but thatâs low.â he mumbled. âi wouldnât do something like that.â
your head turned back to barbara. âyou know who juno is?â
she nodded. âjunoâs our caseworker⊠we got assigned to her in the netherworld after we died.â
âtook us three months waiting in the waiting room until she finally got to us.â adam added, chuckling in humorous disbelief. âbut all she really did was nag at us and warn us about him.â
adam pointed behind you and you turned around again, beetlejuice bitterly looking to the side with his lips pursed.
oh god.
had he been feeding you nonsense this entire time?
âwarn about what.â you mumbled, and beetlejuice snapped his head in your direction with anxious eyes.
âjuno calls him a bio-exorcist.â barbara informed you. âhe tried to illegally cross over to the land of the living and bring himself back to life.â
your eyes bulged open. âback to life? how?â
âyou switch souls with someone else through a ritual.â adam piped in. âjuno says he attempted to trick and switch souls with somebody that was alive so he could terminate all who were living⊠and they didnât even know about it.â
âthatâs not true!â beetlejuice countered, utterly exasperated. âthe old hag made that up!â
he quickly walked towards you, taking your hands in his and looking at you pleadingly.
âplease sweets youâve gotta believe me i never wanted to kill anybodyââ
you ripped your hands away and glared. âso this entire time youâve been lying, playing some hopeless victim so you can poke into my head and find out shit about me to use to your advantage?ââ
âno! no iâ i havenât been lying about anything itâs juno!â
âjuno.â you repeated coldly. âand whatâs she lying about exactly.â
âabout killing the living!â he threw his hands out in emphasis. âshe literally pulled that out of her ass when her and her minions banned meââ
âand what about tricking that person to switch souls with you so you can come back?â
he faltered, words completely failing him and guilty eyes looking into yours so deeply that it nearly made you feel bad for yelling at him.
âthatâs⊠thatâs true.â
you let out a breath of disbelief and barbara put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently and comfortingly as she looked at you with caring eyes.
âwe donât know what to believe either honey.â she began. âitâs a lot of he said she said⊠but itâs better to be safe. he tried to get us to say his name three times too in exchange for his help.â
you quirked a brow. âhelp? what do you guys need help with?â
âyour buddies downstairs.â adam sighed. âtheyâre stealing our things and just messing up the house⊠but weâve been watching you and we know youâve been trying to get them out and so have we⊠horrendously though.â
âoh my godââ you slapped a hand over your gaping mouth. âi totally forgot about them! iâm so so sorry oh my god i canât even begin to explain to you how embarrassing this is iâve been telling them to stopââ
barbara laughed and waved you off. âitâs alright! we know sweetheart. but weâre not frightening enough to scare them off whatsoever⊠so thatâs what we were trying to get his help for.â
âand i still can yâknowâŠâ he muttered. âeven though you hate me.â
âi donât hate you juno does.â she crossed her arms and leaned her weight on one side of her hip. âadam and i are lost we donât know whatâs going on and we canât even read that thing for the recently deceased.â
âweâre just trying to get them out of the house sonâŠâ adam finished off.
and in that moment you felt like you were the one responsible for this. that if you had bitched about it harder, even screamed at rin to get him to stop or damn near called the fucking cops on them so that this wouldnât be happening right now⊠the maitlands wouldnât have to suffer and struggle like this every waking day to protect their home and what rightfully still belonged to them even after death.
because the maitlandâs roaming around and producing shadows and figures and scaring the realtors and prospected buyers off wasnât just for shits and giggles⊠but to try and keep what was once theirs and feel a sense of normalcy for the life they once had.
that was their great beyond. their home.
âiâll get them to leave.â you smiled at barbara and adam. âi donât care if i literally have to start fist fighting with his friends this is so unfairââ
âwait! areâ are you sure sweets?â beetlejuice interjected worriedly. âyour boyfriendâs kind of nuts and i canât help you once you leave the atticââ
âiâm sure.â you mumbled, still bitter and annoyed at him. âcanât be anymore nuts than you basically trying to kill someone so you can prance around alive againââ
âi already apologized to the entire netherworld nation for that!â he argued. âbut if you ask me, if itâs so bad then they shouldnât have put the fucking instructions in the guidebook.â
âjuno says guidebook reveals to you what you want most.â adam spoke. âbecause barb and i didnât see a single page that had to do with that⊠mostly just tips on how to scare the living.â
beetlejuice closed his eyes exhaustedly and shook his head. âdoesnât matter. iâm not trying to trick anyone right now i just want to get out of this damn atticââ
he looked to you again. ââplease say my name three times pretty iâve poked in your boyfriends head and heâs looney i donât want you toââ
âiâll see you guys in a sec!â you walked over to the door and left a sputtering frustrated beetlejuice behind. âif nothing works iâll literally just take my boyfriends keys and drive the car down the hill, he freaks over that thingââ
your voice trailed off as you walked down the creaky stairs of the attic and down the hall of the second floor, the maitlands main bedroom coming into view as you tried to get a script together in your head as to what exactly you were gonna tell rin⊠but your footsteps quickening at the sound of loud yelling and laughing coming from inside the bedroom, sounds of glass shattering and moving furniture making you panic as you practically stumbled in from the doorway.
and your heart stopped, rin standing there with a crow bar in his hands that he got from who the fuck knows where, smashing multiple vases and porcelain jewelry cases and stuffing his pockets full of anything that looked shiny and valuable in his eyes, the mattress and blankets thrown over to the side and the mainlandâs things just completely ransacked as you took it all in.
ârin!â
he jumped and spun around, brows pinching upon seeing you standing there.
âwhat are you doing here? i thought you left?â
âwhat the fuck?!â you gestured to the broken shards on the floor and strewn about articles of clothing. âwhat the hell is wrong with you?!â
âcalm down babe itâs fine.â he turned and smashed another small jewelry case, you scoffing in response. âitâs all useless shit thatâs gonna dust overââ
âget out.â
he snorted. âuh huhââ
âiâm serious rin get out.â you spat. âall of you.â
âyeah like iâd listen to you.â he spoke harshly, eyes narrowed and sharp as he turned again. âgo wait in the fucking car or go homeââ
âiâm calling the cops.â
âwhat?!â
a series of protests and worrisome comments erupted in the air from the group, all thrown directly at a fuming rin as he chucked his crow bar to the sideâ it clattering on the wooden floor as he hastily trudged over to you and gripped your upper arm, yanking you with him and out of the room into the hallway by the stairs.
âwhat the fuck do you think youâre doing huh?â he spoke lowly and in your face. âembarrassing me in front of my friends like that?â
you shoved him off. âget out and find another building or iâm calling the cops rin.â
âyeah and if you do that iâm telling them youâre a shitty psychic medium so they can throw you in the shrink.â
your jaw dropped.
rin was being meaner than usual.
âwhy are you like this.â you mumbled. âi donât even know why iâm still with you youâre an asshole and youâre patheticââ
he got in your face again and grabbed your jaw, pressing you up against the railing of the staircase and damn near throwing you over as the edge of it dug into your lower back, your fingers gripping his arm and struggling to pull him away from you while his friends quietly gasped and silently watched in shock.
âpathetic? me?â he laughed humorously. âyouâre the one who doesnât have anything or anyone besides me and yet you still treat me like this you ungrateful bitchââ
ârin okay thatâs enough dude let her goââ
âyou wanna shut up? or do you wanna trade spots with her?â his fiery crazed eyes switched over to his friend, him only cowering under rinâs intense stare and shaking his head no, diverting his gaze and you still squirming and tugging for your freedom.
âgetâ off meââ
âor what?â he pushed you further back and your breath hitched, your feet off the ground now at this point as one of your hands shot out to grip the railing for support. âyou gonna call your ghost friends for help? go ahead i wanna see you do it you lyingââ
âbeetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice!â
a thunderous roar broke out into the air, actual lightning and black smokey fog spreading over the ceiling and around you as rin instantly let you go and looked around, all of his friends in a pure state of fear and alarm as they lost sight of each other amongst the suffocating mistâ including you as you frantically tried to look for a clear path out, unable to decide if you regretted what you had just done.
ânever seen a man with such a power trip!â a booming voice echoed through the house that you quickly recognized to be beetlejuiceâs, the walls vibrating with each word. âseems to me like itâs all bark and no bite!â
âwhat did you do y/n?!â you heard rinâs distant yelling from somewhere you couldnât pinpoint, the air cold and prickling at your skin. âwho did you call?!â
âa god!â beetlejuice excitedly answered. âachilles preferably! wait actually heâs a demigod not aââ
âwho the fuck is achilles?!â
the air cleared in the center suddenly and revealed a petrified rin, wide eyed and angry as he whipped his head around to try and figure out what was going on.
âyou donât know who achilles is?â half of beetlejuice popped out of nowhere from above the fog and his friends screamed at the mere size of him, for he wasnât the normal looking man you saw before but a borderline monsterâ huge and crazed as he looked down at rin in particular with a scary grin.
but his eyes were still a fascinating sparkling blue, oddly familiar in a way as you watched the scene before you through the black air, beetlejuice continuing.
âread a book your stupid is showing.â
he lunged while simultaneously popping his eyeballs out of their sockets with his tongue out, cartoonish and terrifying as his friends yelled for help and scrambled to try and leave, struggling though the smothering mist as you placed a hand over your mouth in shock.
beetlejuice sucked his eyeballs back in and blinked to adjust. âwhat? you guys scared too? shouldnât have been so mean to my little sweets over there then!â
they all looked to you and you froze, rinâs gaze narrowing.
âhis little sweets?â he clenched his jaw. âthe hells he talking about?â
beetlejuice didnât know why rin was so dumb for even attempting at getting near you again after everything he did and saidâ his footsteps quick and stompy towards you until he straight up smacked into an invisible wall and doubled back with a hand over his nose, your brows pinching in confusion.
you timidly reached a hand out, expecting your fingers to touch an invisible barrier except there wasnât one at all as they fell through completely over nothing, your arm slowly retracting back to your chest.
you looked up at beetlejuiceâs huge figure, and he gave you a bright cute smile that made your cheeks heat up.
âthis is bullshit!â rin roared, wiping his bloody nose with the back of his hand and pointing at you after. âyouâre a goddamn nutcase y/n! what kind of show are you putting on huh?!â
âme?!â you shot back. âmaybe you should stop being a dick for once in your life and listen when i tell you things you idiot.â
âyup!â beetlejuice quipped. âdoll if youâre still with him after all of this iâm gonna have to start haunting you in your dreams.â
your gaze switched to beetlejuice and you laughed, a little glint to his eye as he watched you shake your pretty head.
âi was gonna dump him the minute i got him out of the houseââ
âwhat?!â rin barked. âdump me? for what?!â
you scoffed. âare you serious? what do you mean for what?â
âfuckâ babe okay iâm sorry alright? iâm sorry iâm just a little overwhelmed right nowââ
âyouâre a sack of shit.â beetlejuice spat. âand call her babe again and iâll start the engine of your car and ram it through a tree.â
you snickered and rin swiveled around to face him.
âwhy donât you stay out of this freak and leave my girlfriend aloneââ
âsweets iâll make him go away if you marry me.â
you choked, flustered and stiff as you looked at him, bewildered out of your mind.
âhuh?!â
âpretty pleeaaseee.â he dragged. âyou saying my name got me out of the attic but not the house itself⊠but if you marry me iâm a free man!â
âhow does thatââ you let out a shocked breath. âhow does that even make senseââ
âmarry me.â
âbut i!ââ
âmarry me thatâs my condition.â
âhold on!ââ
rin dove at you with the full intention to grab you and pull you away, but eyes widening in terror as an invisible force practically grabbed his ankle and sweeped him back and away from you, dragging his body across the wooden floor and over to beetlejuice, his friends having enough of all of this and making a run for it down the stairs.
âoh! i almost forgot about you guys!â
beetlejuice nudged his head and they were sent flying back just like rin, all of them screaming and pleading for mercy as their bodies dragged across the floor and returned to him.
âwhich of you should i gobble up right now⊠iâm feeling the one on the far right! heâs trembling like a little leafââ
âplease no!â he cried. âiâllâ iâll do anything! iâll leave iâll neverââ
ââand iâll save rin for the very end⊠best for last right?!â
they all wailed and clawed at the foggy air, your body unmoving as you tried to figure out if beetlejuice was actually being serious.
âplease man!ââ
âiâm sorry iâm so sorry!ââ
âdonât apologize to me you doofuses.â another invisible force grabbed them all by the ankles and pulled them up, dangling them upside down. âapologize to her. then maybe iâll spare you⊠howâs that sound?!â
ây/n! please! iâm sorryââ
âweâre sorry dear god!ââ
ây/n!ââ
âputâ put them down!â you wavered. âthatâs enough itâs okay! jesus..â
âawww already?!â beetlejuice pouted. âbut i havenât even started swinging them around yet⊠like a little ferris wheel! heh.â
you slapped a hand over your mouth to suppress a laugh once rin and his friends started wailing in fear again, you shaking your head and smiling at him.
âitâs okay! next time! just let them go iâm sure theyâll runââ
ây/n, it seems like you understand me⊠youâre the only one that hasnât bitten my head off in the entire three years that iâve been dead!â
you laughed again. âiâm glad! now put them down pleaseââ
âso be my wife then.â
âbeetlejuice!â
âwhat?!â he whined. âyou donât wanna be my lawful wedded wife?â
âno!â wellâ justââ
âis it because iâm dead?â
âput them down and iâll consider it!â
âyes maâam!â
the invisible force dropped them and they slammed against the hardwood floors, each and every single one of them fumbling to get their things that flew out of their pockets while upside down and scurrying away, hurried footsteps stomping down the staircase as they tripped over their feet to get to and out the front door, you observing in amusement and slight guilt, leaning over the edge of the staircase to watch them go.
and the second that they did, the stuffy black fog lifted and felt immensely lighter, it dispersing into the air above you as it thinned out to a mere silly mist, cold and wet to the touch and similar to the air youâd feel after a long days worth of rainfall and cloudy weather, slow strides coming up from behind you as you saw beetlejuiceâs shiny raven leather dress shoes out of the corner of your eye, you standing upright and turning to him.
he smiled warmly at you.
âthank you.â you grinned, bashful as he reached and fixed up your hairâ hands smoothing over your head and down before his fingers lightly grazed and played with the ends of your strands.
âyouâre welcome.â he murmured. âthank you for getting me out of the attic sweets!â
you kindly nodded.
âsweetheart, are you alright?â
you looked back and saw the maitlands, barbara walking up with outstretched arms and pulling you in for a hug.
âthat boy was insane!â she pulled back and held you out at an arms length by the shoulders. âwe tried so hard to intervene while he was yelling at you but weâre useless⊠they couldnât see us.â
you giggled. âno itâs okay! really you didnât need to i wouldnât ever wanna put you guys in that position.â
âhoneyâ he almost pushed you off the railingâŠâ adam spoke softly. âif you hadnât called for beetlejuice lord knows what he wouldâve done⊠he was so aggressive and we were worriedâŠâ
your heart warmed, never in your life having been so cared for and looked afterâ funnily enough that you were receiving that sacred feeling from beings that were dead rather than living and it reminding you a little bit of the way your parents were with you when you were young, when they were still alive.
âweâre sorry for being so hard on you kidâŠâ barbara sighed, gaze shifting to beetlejuice. âmistakes happen. iâm sure your passing was something you werenât expecting like us.â
âoh! no itâs okay donât.â he smiled brightly. âi almost killed a man i understand.â
âbut we understand too.â adam added, and you felt like he was also referring to something you had no clue about as he had a particular look in his eyes, something that was only amongst them three. âi wouldâve considered the same.â
beetlejuice swung an arm around your shoulders and looked down at you.
âso are you my little wife?â
âokayââ barbara laughed. ânot that you know thisââ
âadam! barbara!â
a sudden shriek boomed through the house and beetlejuice instantly pulled you behind him, waving his hand and an invisible force sending you further away until your back gently bumped against the wall, panic rising in your chest as the same black fog from earlier returned and swirled around you, blocking your vision.
was he⊠was he hiding you? what for?
âjuno!â beetlejuice greeted, laughing awkwardly. âheyy long time no see!â
oh.
âzip it bozo.â
from the cracks and openings that you could see through the whirling wind, a proper old lady in professional office attire stood there with her arms crossed, a pissed off look on her face as she tapped her heel against the floor and played with the pearls around her neck.
âwhat did i tell you two about letting him free?â she scolded. âheâs a loose cannon! heâs not to be trusted!â
âi know i know weâre sorry⊠we just really needed to get those kids out! and theyâre gone! and beetlejuice seems alright!â barbara looked to her husband, a desperate flicker in her gaze. âright adam?â
âyes! uh uh!â adam stepped forward and sighed softly. âplease juno⊠heâs just a kid. heâs learned and what he did was three years agoââ
âwhat he did couldâve cost me my job and set my entire office up in flames.â juno lectured, pointing her wrinkly finger at beetlejuice next. âyou broke a million undead laws and have hundreds of violation codes on your record. your punishment was to stay in the attic for eternity.â
eternity?
oh god no.
âbut now iâm gonna have to send you to live inside mr. maitlandâs winter river model and you better stay there!â
âwhat?!â beetlejuice scoffed. âjuno please thereâs gotta be a way i can lift those violations?â
âiâm afraid there isnât.â she seethed.
âpretty please?â
âno.â
âwith a cherry on top?â
âabsolutely not.â
ânot even probation?ââ
ânot even probation! youâre gone!â
your eyes blew open as you watched juno extend an arm out and move it to the side, a bright white blinding light encasing her entire figure and you quickly pushed a hand through the black fog and grabbed the back of beetlejuiceâs suit, everything around you scarily blurring out and disappearing and you squeezed your eyes shut, arms reaching out to wrap around his upper torso as you buried your face in his back.
you didnât want him to go⊠not at all. and the thought of him stuck inside a model forever like that all alone terrified you.
you understood why he was punished in the first place, but why couldnât juno just see that he was good? that all he was trying to do was come back to life and live? something many other souls would also kill for?
hadnât he been punished enough already? he stood stuck in that attic for three god damn years straight with no means of escape whatsoever, and now he was shamefully being sent to live inside a styrofoam cardboard model that was far worse than that stupid attic, for now he couldnât be seen by anyone even if he truly wanted to be.
had that not been enough? enough of a sign to reconsider his contract?
why couldnât he just be given a second fucking chanceâ
âpretty?â
you opened your eyes, forehead quickly detaching from his back and looking up, his piercing blue eyes staring down at you worriedly from behind as he shifted his body a little in your hold to face you.
âwhat are you doing here i thoughtââ his surprised gaze shifted over to the way you were clutching onto him, and he relaxed, smiling a little.
âyou grabbed me baby?â
âiââ you let him go and stepped back, your cheeks a vibrant pinky shade. âyâyeahâŠâ
he turned around fully.
âwhy?â
âbecauseââ you bit your bottom lip, peering cutely up at him.
âbecause i thought we were getting marriedâŠâ
beetlejuiceâs expression dropped and he stared at you wide eyed, his face reddening at your words.
âi donâtâ i donât understandââ
âwhat?â you giggled. âi thought you proposed to me earlier?â
âi did! yes i did!â he rapidly nodded. âbutâ but are you actually serious?â
you nodded. âmhm! i am!â
âyou can say no sweets honestly itâs okayâŠâbeetlejuice spoke softly with pinched brows. âiâll cry myself to sleep and shrivel up but i can handle it donât worry about meââ
you laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. âi wanna marry you⊠i wanna set you free.â
you walked over to a little bench, the feeling of you stepping on rubber and glue a little weird under your feet as you sat down and smiled, gently patting the spot next to you.
âiâm not letting you stay here forever by yourself, not when youâve been doing that already for years.â you murmured, him taking a seat next to you with a yearn-full but apprehensive face.
âyou deserve to do the things you want to do and see the things you want to seeâŠâ you looked at him so sincerely and loving that he felt his undead heart throb. â⊠and if i can help you in anyway to get you there i donât care what it is. i canât think of anyone more deserving of freedom than you.â
âyouâre so pureâŠâ he softly took your hand, yours warm and pumping in comparison to his cold and stiff one. âyou always have been.â
he stared at your hand still, his index finger delicately tracing over the faint markings of your working veins underneath your skin, trying to remember what they looked like on him when he was alive, and if they ever looked as precious as yours did.
beetlejuice raised your hand and kissed it, eliciting a fuzzy blush to your cheeks.
âi think weâre meant to be.â
you faltered slightly, for you felt a rush of deja vu hit you like a stifling wave.
âhave we met?â you teasingly asked. âbefore you died?â
he laughed and shook his head.
you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, beetlejuice still tracing the lines and indentations of your hand before you spoke up again.
âi have a question.â
his content eyes switched to yours before they looked back down. âyes sweets?â
âis your name really beetlejuice?â
he weirdly stopped, and you quirked a brow.
âitâsâŠâ he swallowed. âitâs not.â
âoh what the?â you paused, a little puzzled. âwhere did it come from?â
âjuno.â he snickered. âthe old hag said it fit how bizarre and stupid i was, so she put it in my contract.â
âoh my fucking god.â you mumbled. âwhy the hell would she do that? thatâs cruel⊠youâve already paid the price for what you did the least she could do is address you by your given name.â
beetlejuice laughed cutely, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you.
âthat woman doesnât care baby⊠so donât sweat it.â he lifted a hand and ruffled your hair. âand if you ask me, she needs to retire immediately. likeâ yesterday. all she does is fucking nag at me and the rest of her damn clients.â
you giggled.
âso whatâs your name then?â
ânot important! now i say we figure out a way to get out of this rinky dink modelââ
your eyes narrowed.
âwhy wonât you tell me your name?â
ââor maybe we should just stay and make ourselves at home!ââ
âyou wonât tell your soon to be wife your name?ââ
ââoh! oh! i can manifest a little jacuzzi in the middle of the cemetery thatâs neatââ
you slapped a hand over his mouth and he stopped, your pleading little eyes making him guiltily melt against your hold.
âyour name.â you urged softly, lowering your hand and revealing a little frown that he had on his lips. âplease.â
âiââ he blinked, utterly remorseful. âi canât⊠i canât tell you my name.â
your brows pinched. âwhy not? is part of your contract?â
ânoâ well yes.â he sighed deeply through his nose, and you wondered why he looked so⊠strained.
âitâs not their contract, but my contract⊠with you.â
you froze.
âwithââ you struggled. âi donâtââ
he rubbed his tired sunken eyes.
âitâs okay sweets but thatâs all you need to knowââ
âno.â you replied firmly. âwhat i need to know is your name.â
he dropped his arms and shook his head desperately. ây/n please i put that contract on you to protect you ifâ if i tell you my name youâll be hurt and i donât want thatââ
âwhat do you mean?â you bitterly scooched away from him on the bench and he stubbornly moved closer, eliminating the distance you had created.
âi lied when you asked me if we had met.â
your heart dropped.
âbecause we have⊠and iâ i wanted you to forget me so i took away your memories and if i tell you my nameââ
he swallowed hard.
â⊠itâll break the contract. and youâll remember me again.â
you stared at him, his regretful tortured gaze so anguishing that it was almost unbearable to watch him endure it, wanting to mend it instead, something that already felt so right and easy to you and in no way shape or form unfamiliar.
slowly, you reached up and cupped his cold cheeks in your hands, bringing his forehead to rest against yours.
âbut i want to remember youâŠâ you murmured. ââŠplease let me.â
his pupils worriedly shook as they darted all around your striking features, his name practically hanging off the edge of his tongue but his throat physically unable to get the words out, for his dead heart was pulling and fighting with his vocal chords to prevent him from doing so, everything within him wanting to save you from memories he had to live with even after death.
but the other part of him was filled with such intense longing for you that it effortlessly slipped between the cracks of his defensive wall of not telling you his nameâŠthe relentless feeling going straight to his heart and mind and strangling the fuck out of it to get a formidable yes instead.
he wanted the life he once had. more than anything.
âsatoru.â
something snapped in your brain and you flinched back, memories flooding through your mind faster than the speed of light as you recollected each and every moment in your existence, for the sentiment of vacancy and like a specific thing was just missing in your life was finally put back in its rightful placeâ for the thing that was missing in particular was him.
satoru gojo.
there were images of meeting him when you were both itty bitty in middle school under a magnolia tree, him sporadic and silly and making you laugh so hard on the third day of school that strawberry milk blew out of your nose and all over his clothes, satoru not having a care in the world as he cackled along with you and thought the way you made liquid come out of your nose was cool.
and there were images of the both of you becoming the best of friendsâ never one without the other as you pulled pranks on your teachers and ended up in detention together almost everyday, your parents utterly done with you as you never seemed to get it through your head how to behave, the both of you brushing off your scoldings and lectures because you had each other to endure all of it with.
and you saw how much he cared about you.
how he would physically fight and yell and reprimand anyone who called you a freak, anyone who spread rumors about you and your psychic medium abilities as he constantly reminded you everyday that your gift was sacred⊠a treasure while he wiped your tear stained cheeks and cheered you up after another day of your classmates poking fun at you, him saying that your skills were the coolest and how much he wished he was just like you, how much you both were meant to be as he loved ghost stories and scary stuff.
you saw how you fell in love too.
and it didnât take long either, as your stolen glances and teasing turned into much more as soon as you grew and went to high school together, the both of you making it official literally your freshman year despite the apprehensions from your parents on both sides because of how young you were.
but it never proved to be an issue, you and satoru not once stumbling over a hiccup since the two of you had built such a strong foundation of genuine friendship and care before you blessedly fell in love, satoru throughout your years together absolutely smitten over you as he always passed you silly notes during class that had a gazillion hearts scribbled all across with your name in the middle, telling you all of the time just how much he loved and cherished you to the point where you had to funnily push him away from you to get him to stop smothering you, you always giving in anyways due to the fact that you were just as smitten, physically unable to go a day without him, and him still physically unable to not iterate how you were meant to be.
satoru understood you, satoru listened to you, and satoru believed you whenever you would speak on your psychic gift and how you had spoken casually to a spirit just the other day, him always interested and unbelievably amazed at everything you had to say as he bombarded you with fifty questions and begged you to teach him how to see spirits too.
he was respectful and supportive of you through it all.
especially when your parents died.
satoru wouldnât leave your side. he refused to as you tried to piece together what the fuck had just happened, their accident so sudden and weird that it never made sense to you and still didnât to this day.
and you grieved of course, cried and weeped and clung to satoru like a moth to a flame, feeling alone and without your biggest support systemâ without your loving peculiar parents that gave you your priceless gift in the first place, him accepting your tears with open arms as he encouraged you to let it all out and was worried for you when it seemed like you had moved on rather quickly from it.
but it was simply because your parents werenât afraid of the afterlife. it was because your parents had talked so much about it and taught you everything that they knew, that you were convinced their souls peacefully made it through to the great beyond straight away and together, for you never saw their spirits roaming around aimlessly after and feeling eternally grateful for that, your whole life being about acknowledging and embracing the mysteries of life after death.
the knowledge of knowing they were at peace was enough to get you by for a little while.
satoru continued to check in on you about it though... even when it was the end of your junior year and nearing a year since their passing, his parents kindly taking you in after the ordeal and making satoru sleep on the floor and you taking over his bed since they didnât have an extra room, satoru doing it without even needing to be told and you thanking all of them any chance you got for their amicable kindness and tried to pay them back, satoru checking in on you every night with a series of timid âare you okayâsâ and âare you happyâsâ before going to bed, your arm dangling off the edge so you could intertwine your fingers while you slept.
you were never alone like you thought you were. ever.
because of satoru.
and he made it obvious that he wanted to marry you too, that he wanted to have you for the rest of his life and didnât give a single shit if you were both only 18 and barely starting college, him deeming it pointless for the both of you to pretend like the hope of marriage wasnât there just for the sake of shutting up his parents, as every time he brought it up you stammered and blushed and fidgeted and he only giggled at you, telling you it would happen soon, to be ready, and to sit pretty and patient until the right time came.
except it never did.
because satoru gojo died a year later following that on halloween, precisely on his way over to your dorm when he was snatched by an unknown man and murdered in the middle of the night, you stuck wondering what had happened to him and why he wasnât answering the phone when he was hours late to come get you, your chest on fire and aching as the feeling in your gut was weirdly excruciating, a part of you completely torn away and lost and you had no idea why until the very next morning.
and he had to watch you mourn. properly this time and not at all like the way you did for your parents, as this time it was fucking worse, painfully and all alone and for no way for him to get to you and comfort youâ to tell you it was okay to cry and that he loved you, to tell you to be happy, to be hopeful for the future and hopeful to the thought of spending the rest of your lives together and being meant to be.
but instead he had to watch you wail and scream in your pillow every night with no saving, clutching his clothes and things and picture frames, you making yourself sick as the grief was too much to bareâ everything that your parents had said to you and taught you about the afterlife meaning absolutely jack shit as the workings of supposed fate took away the only thing that ever made you happy.
satoruâs dream was to live with you. and it was taken away from him so brutally that he went absolutely nuts in the netherworld.
because yes he violated every single fucking undead law in the book and jumped over restricted gates and strange passage ways and doors, shoved through emotionless security guards, ignored junoâs warnings, and yes he tricked a living human being so he could exchange souls with himâ
all for the sole purpose of getting back to you.
it was always for you.
and now, him sitting next to you with an anxious waiting expression, your body and mind now feeling the effects of not having seen him for three entire years and the way your conscious mind grieved for him and his return, his skin sickishly pale and cold but still so handsome nonetheless⊠absolutely broke you.
it broke you as you let out a strangled hiccup and covered your mouth tightly with both hands, eyes squeezing painfully shut as you reeled over and wailed with a broken heart, for you were mourning the loss of him all over again.
âbaby no pleaseââ he quickly caught you and brought you to his chest, his breathing erratic and with the biggest lump in his throat. âsee? i didnât want you to remember iâ i wanted you to forgetâ
you continued to bawl and borderline scream out in agony, his words meaning absolutely nothing at this moment as your mind wouldnât quit flashing painful memories through your mind, memories that were once entirely missing as they suffocated you with displays of satoru in his grave over and over and over again.
âi canâtââ he frantically looked around for something, anything that would make you feel better before looking back down. âlook at meââ
âwhy did you leave?!â you wailed, pushing him away as the sight of you drowning in your tears ripped him to shreds. âwhy did you abandon me toru?! why did youââ
âiâm sorââ his voice gave out and he placed a hand over his heart, tears slipping from his eyes. âiâm sorry iâm so sorry iâ i never wanted to leaveââ
he reached out and tugged you in again, your body slumping against his as he struggled over his sobs.
âi didnât want to die i tried so hard not to dieââ
his words only made you cry harder as he gripped you tighter and shut his mouth, his frame trembling against yours and his tears trickling down and wetting your hair.
âyou left me! you were supposed to comeâ hicâ to come get me! you were supposed to marry me!ââ
you were babbling mindlessly at this point, your shattered heart taking over the words that were tumbling out of your mouth as you gripped and clawed at his suit, trying to bury yourself in his skin and stay there where you belonged.
he was too cold. and you couldnât hear a heart beat.
satoru could only cry and bawl with you as he gently rocked you side to side, knowing that there was nothing he could do to make you feel better, and nothing he could do to come back to life.
no matter how much he wanted it.
no matter how much you wanted it.
this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
âi tried so hard.â he mumbled. âi never stopped trying to get to you thatâs why juno hates me so much because iâve violated fucking everything.â
he pressed his lips to your forehead and laid his cheek on it after.
âi got sent to the attic and i couldnât look after you anymore and i didnât even get the chance to let you see me eitherââ
besides the fact that he took your memories, that explained why you never saw his spirit after he died, and you quickly pulled back again and narrowed your bloodshot eyes at him.
âwhy did you take my memories i neverâ hic!â i never asked you to i never wantedââ
âbecause i didnât want you to grieve over me prettyâŠâ he gently wiped your cheeks while you cried. âyou were hurting so much and it was torture watching you suffer like that.â
you sniffled and wiped your eyes with the base of your palm.
âi wanted to see you happyâŠâ satoru finished off.
âwas i?â
he dropped his hands and frowned.
âwere you?â
âno!â you muttered. âmy entire life iâve felt like something was missing and i didnât know why⊠like thisâ this block in my brain that i couldnât figure out and it was always just empty and like something was supposed to be there.â
you tucked your hair behind your ear and solemnly looked down, a pulsing headache racking through you from how much you were crying.
âi had to live with the fact that i was alone and that i never had anyone⊠and i had accepted that too⊠only this entire time i did have someone. you.â
and oddly enough, through everything that happenedâ all of the memories that you now remembered and the devastating death of your late boyfriend, you finally felt a little bit less strange and unusual.
because you always thought that something was wrong with you for feeling the way that you did, for craving somethingâ someone that never existed, for wanting to fill the void that you now know satoru once happily sat in, all of these things now officially clicking into place and bringing you the weirdest sense of peace you had probably ever felt.
âi wish you never made me forget.â you mumbled. âyouâre worth remembering toruâŠ. even if it hurts me.â
he guiltily nodded and sniffed. âmâsorry⊠i thought you were better off forgetting.â
a part of him still does, because the small glimpses he caught of you no longer crying and just simply living after he took your memories away, was enough to bring him a tiny sense of relief just before he got banished to the attic, hopeful that you would live a long and happy life even if it was painfully without him.
but the minute he sensed you coming up to the house earlier that night with him thinking he was going absolutely insane and if it was truly you, was also enough to send all of that out the fucking window and falling back into a pit of despair and longing for you when he finally saw you againâ for the first time in three years, looking just as pretty as he remembered and a little more grown up.
you slowly shook your head side to side, lifting your arms to wrap around his neck and him immediately responding, snaking them around your waist and pulling your warm beating body flush against his chest.
âdo you still love me?â he murmured. âeven though iâm dead?â
you slightly snorted, softly kissing his cheek.
âiâll always love you toru. wherever you are.â
âiâll always love you.â
he pulled back and gently smiled, eyes flickering to your soft lips as he juggled in his mind if it was okay to kiss you, every fiber of his undead being begging for it after missing and wishing it for so long, left with only recollections of your kisses to suffice through the years that he spent without you and wondering if he still had the right toâ since even though you were once his, and he shamelessly still considered you his, he didnât know if you were on the same page.
but you were.
it would be stupid not to be.
you leaned your pretty little face closer to his, timid doe eyed gaze looking at him so fondly that it brought back that same familiar feeling he felt with you those years ago, his hands coming up and settling themselves on your warm lively cheeks, holding you like fragile porcelain.
but were his dead lips still worthy of yours? even after everything heâd done?
âtoru.â
he hummed.
âdo you remember our first kiss?â
âuh huh.â he breathed out softly. âit was in my room.â
âi thinkââ your nose brushed with his. âi think we should have our second first kiss.â
he bit his bottom lip and smiled.
âyou think so?â
âi do.â
he hummed again, his thumb gently grazing over your plushy lips.
âi think it should look a little more like the first time.â
he tilted his head to the side a tiny bit and a delicate gust of wind brushed through your hair, your surroundings now completely and miraculously morphed into his room with the both of you sitting on his bedâ just like how you remembered it and basically had grown up in as you slowly took in your surroundings.
âhow the fuckââ
he laughed a little, lifting one hand and keeping the other still on your cheek, his index finger lightly tapping the center of your forehead.
âmind manipulation pretty.â he grinned. âcool huh? i poked in your head again.â
âyeah!â you giggled. âvery cool.â
âyou know what else would be cool?â
âwhat?â
âif you gave me a little kiss.â
you tilted your head to the side and leaned in again, your breath fanning across his face and your lips so close but not quite that it was fucking excruciating.
âyou want a kiss toru?â
âuh huh.â
âhow badâ mmph!ââ
satoru didnât even let you finish that sentence as he stuffed his tongue in your mouth greedily, wet and messy kisses smacking through the room as he cradled your jaw, cold lips delving all over yours and him giddy over the sensation of your warm mouth in comparison to his, your hands clutching his blazer and making out so sensually as you made up for the time that was stolen from you.
and the only thing the two of you felt in each others arms then was serenityâ one pumping, working heart and the other stiff, unmoving and cold, still equally beating for one another even through the restrictions of death, for satoruâs heart continued to move and love you regardless of how lifeless it may have appeared.
he suddenly pulled away, breathless.
âsweets?â
âyeah?â
âwhere in the actual fuck did you meet rin?â
you laughed, pulling back a bit to look at him with a regretful look. âknowing what i know now, iâm sick to my stomach toru.â
âdid you meet him after i died?â
you nodded. âhe was in one of my literature classes⊠and since back then i only remembered living my lifeâ alone, i guess he was the first person that didnât make me feel that way. at the start.â
âlame.â he mumbled. âyou cheated on me sweets.â
âno!â you laughed again, giving him a little pout. âhe was awful. horrendous. and i only stayed because i didnât wanna be alone again⊠even though i shouldnât have.â
you leaned and gave him a soft tiny lingering peck.
âdid you love him?â he murmured against your lips, and you shook your head.
âremembering you again made me realize what being in love with someone was supposed to feel like.â you reached and brushed through the front stands of his white hair mindlessly. âand it was no where near what i felt for rin. i didnât feel anything for him actually.â
he pursed his lips to the side, eyes squinting in thought and distaste.
âhmmmâŠâ
you giggled. âwhat toru?â
he hated that you got associated with a guy like that, and hated even more that rin was kissing and hugging and touching you whenever the fuck he wanted when you were his first.
âiâm gonna haunt him for the rest of his life.â
you playfully rolled your eyes and nudged him. âhonestly? do it. he sucks.â
âand you know what else sweets?â
you quirked a little brow. âwhat?â
âiâm gonna make you forget!â
âtoru!â you giggled. âno more taking memorââ
satoru leaned his face closer to yours and you froze up, wide eyed as a little mischevious glint in his vibrant blue gaze made you fidget.
he slowly grinned and tilted his head, lips coming closer to the side of your ear and tantalizingly hovering, arms snaking around your torso and pulling you up against him.
âdid you let him touch you pretty?â
âtâtouch?ââ
âmhm.â he gripped you a little tighter. âdid you?â
âum.â you squirmed a bit, your body turning hot in the matter of seconds. âwhatâ what do you meanââ
âdid you let him fuck you.â
your breath hitched and your cheeks went pink, hands timidly resting flat on his chest and feeling a little⊠guilty.
âmaybeââ you paused, shaky breaths blowing through your nose. âmaybe onceââ
satoru shot up to stand and hauled you with him, a squeal slipping past your lips as he hiked you up and brought your legs around his waist, walking across the room in quick strides and plopping you down roughly on his desk, kicking away his chair and it slamming against the wall as it rolled back.
âtoru?ââ
âwhy canât i make you forget⊠hm?â he grazed his lips from your jaw and up the side of your cheek, feather like as he squeezed and kneaded at your thighs, your heart fucking hammering against your chest.
âwhy would you wanna remember being with someone else other than me babyâŠâ
âiâ i donât but you erased my memoriesââ
he pulled back and tutted, head shaking and fingers drumming against your thighs. âdoesnât matter! shouldâve avoided them like the plague silly.â
you giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him gently in.
âi wouldâve if i remembered.â
âremember this remember thatââ he smiled brightly and brought his face close to yours once more.
âyâknow what?â he cutely pecked your lips. âiâm gonna help you remember something!â
your brows pinched momentarily in curiosity. âwhat?â
âthat iâm the only man that ever gets to fuck you.â
satoru smashed his lips against yours and pulled you in tight, the bulge in his dress pants abundantly obvious as he grinded and rutted his aching cock on your clothed pussy, you gasping in his mouth at the feeling as you tried to keep up with his feverish fast kisses.
he slipped his icy hands underneath your top and you jumped at the change in temperature, satoru ravishing you up and obsessed with the heat your body produced and radiated, leaving him toasty for once and bringing a faux sense of life to him.
âdid you forget that too?â he murmured against your lips, hands ever so slowly creeping up and sliding under your bra to grope your plump tits. âhow i feel?â
ânuh uh.â you breathed out. âi didnâtââ
âtell me what you remember then sweetsâŠâ
he slid his hands back down and hiked your skirt up, you lifting your hips a little to help him bring it up as high as he possibly could, your pretty little panties tight and suffocating your pussy as his fingers came down to play with your swollen needy clit.
âi rememberââ your mouth hung open, words lodging in your throat.
âhm?â he shoved his hand in your panties and your eyes fluttered closed, him placing open wet mouthed kisses all over your neck and chest, your mind unable to grasp the amount of pleasure he was getting out with simply just his fingers, pleasure you missed so fucking badly as he slipped his digits up and down your folds.
âyour dickââ satoru pushed two fingers inside of you and you whined. âi remember the way you felt.â
âyeah?â he pulled back from your chest and grinned, fingers squelching as they pumped in and out. âand how did i feel?â
âbig.â you choked out, legs spreading wider as you gripped the edge of his desk, his frenzied lust filled eyes drinking in the way you unraveled and crumbled before him.
something he was positive rin didnât even come fucking close to.
âaww.â he cooed, digits speeding up as you squealed and tried to close your legs, him prying them open again. âbet you missed the way i filled you full huh? stretched you out so good?â
you rapidly nodded, eyebrows contorted in ecstasy as your thighs shook.
âanything else you missed baby?â
arousal trickled down your folds at this point, making an absolute mess out of his fingers.
âyour handsâ heaveâ on my neck when youâd fuck meââ
a shiver ran down his spine at your words, his cock so fucking hard and aching as it begged him to let it spring free and bury itself in your hole.
âmy godâŠâ he whispered. âi bet your slutty little self wants me to fuck you right now right? stuff you up and make you cum on my dick like i used to?â
with each word your hole was clenching and screaming for his cock, your hands quickly shooting out to pull and unbuckle at his belt, him laughing as he continued to finger your pussy while loosening up the collar of his tie.
âyouâre so needy.â
you pouted, embarrassed as you pulled your hands away and brattily tugged at his wrist to take his fingers out.
âi take it backââ
âno!â he quickly yanked his belt off and flung it, his fingers unzipping his pants and taking out his solid dick. âhell no please i need to be inside youââ
he lined his cock up and without warning pushed, your hands flying to grip his shoulders for support and crying out at the mere size of him, his dick icy in between your gummy walls that somehow added a whole new wave of pleasure for you.
âhard toru.â you whined. âplease i canâtâ iââ
âi know baby i know.â he gripped your hips and snapped his hips up, your moans fueling him as he plunged in your hole and took no time in fucking you in just the way he knew you liked it, proud of the fact that your pussy still took every single inch of him like heâd trained youâ almost like she recognized whose dick was actually for you and not some other fucking morons.
âyouâre not screwing anybody else anymore, you hear me sweets?â he tapped your cheek to get you to look at him, you completely dazed and fucked out as you tried to hold eye contact with him amidst his drilling cock. âshouldâve only been me⊠living or dead i donât care.â
you nodded dumbly, you leaning and kissing him sloppily and desperately that you muffled his next words, refusing to detach from his mouth.
âdid youâ mmphâ let him cum inside?â
you didnât answer, not because you were afraid to, but because his dick was silencing you as you hiccuped and spasmed with every slam of his hips, satoru a horny goner and pinning everything all on you even when it was literally his fault he erased your memories in the first place, fuming over the thought of you tainted by another man that he wanted to perform a full fucking cleanse.
he rammed inside of you faster against the desk as you separated from his lips and clamped a hand over your mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
âdonât tell me you let him cum inside you little slutââ
âi didnât!â you heaved. âi didnât i didnâtââ
âgood baby!â he cheered, a complete contrast to his menacing tone from seconds before. âso you do love me.â
âi do! i love you i love you i love yoââ
his unbeating heart soared.
âyou love me?â
âuhâ hic!â uh huhââ
âeven when iâm dead?â
you nodded vigorously, feeling your orgasm starting to bubble up in your tummy as you choked and squirmed.
âperfect my sweet little thingâŠâ he cooed once more, him literally lightheaded over the way you clenched around his cock. âmake a mess all over me baby iâve been dreaming of your cute cunt for three fucking yearsââ
you wrapped your arms around him by the neck again and moaned, burying your face in his neck as he placed two palms on your bent knees and spread your plushy thighs further apart, jack hammering you and so mean about it as you shook violently against him and came, heaves and sobs of pleasure racking through your body as he threw his head back and groaned.
âyou want me to cum inside you?â he asked. âfill you up just like i used to?â
âyes! please pleaseââ
âoh fucking well.â
he pulled out of you and your eyes bulged open, his dick shiny and covered in your juices as he grabbed your upper arm and yanked you down on your knees.
âyouâre gonna suck me off and swallow what i give you for letting rinâs filthy hands on you.â
satoru tapped his dick against your cheek to get you to open up, you listening and opening your mouth as he shoved his cock inside and placed a hand on the back of your head, fucking your mouth as you choked and gagged on his length and loving every second of it.
âgoooddd baby.â he whispered, your slobbering so nasty as he watched drool dribble down your chin. âso goodâŠâ
you gulped him down and lathered your tongue around while he used you, his balls swollen and twitching and him needing to dump his cum in your mouth for you to swallow.
âremember when we used to do this every night?â he smiled wickedly. âwhen iâd make you swallow me up?â
you hummed around him and tried to nod, eager for his release and wanting to show him that you in fact did rememberâ wanting it just as bad as you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked him harder.
âhâ oh my godââ he fisted your hair and shivered, letting you take over and milk him for all his worth. âiâm gonnaâ jesus baby slowâ slow down slow downâ hah!â
satoruâs release shot to the back of your throat and you choked, blinking back tears as you gradually slowed your pace and continued to deliciously suck him through his orgasm and gulp down his cum, him with a death grip on the edge of his desk as he heaved and swallowed, hips jittery and twitching away from youâ tip now overly sensitive.
you licked up the last of his cum and stood back up, shimming your skirt back down and satoru shakily stuffing his softened dick back in his pants and zipping it, eyes softening once you reached up and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his over your waist and squeezing you gently.
âso youâre telling me.â you began. âthat you havenât had sex in three years and you fucked me like that?â
he snickered and smoothed a hand over your back. âitâs my instinct sweets! and also because iâm sure rin did a horrendous freaking jobââ
you laughed and rolled your eyes, kissing his cheek before looking at him fully.
âiâm serious you know.â
he raised a brow. âabout what?â
âabout marrying you. even more so now.â
and just when he was about to pick you up and spin you around and jump up and down, he stilledâ face sickishly paling more than it already was.
because satoru was keeping something else from you⊠a condition between the living and the dead and one he overlooked entirely because he was selfishly desperate for you and just wanted you with him again, like the way he had you when he was alive.
âwhat toru?â
âhuh?â his eyes snapped to yours, and he quickly shook his head. âoh nothing nothing!â
his mind was frantically pushing it to the back, ignoring it and wanting to go through with the one thing heâd practically been dreaming of his entire living and dead lifeâ marriage with you.
this was fine. this was okay.
right?
âwhite or black.â
you tilted your head. âwhat?â
âyouâll see⊠but choose!â he grinned. âwhite or black?â
a slow giddy smile grew on your face.
âblack.â
satoru waved his hand and you stilled, the clothes on your skin changing and morphing into something completely anew, your eyes landing on his black and white button up suit now and head quickly dropping down to yourselfâ gasping once it registered in your flabbergasted brain.
you were wearing a black wedding gown, beautiful and classy as you picked up and felt the soft silk material between your fingertips, your tule sheer veil intricate as you looked behind you thenâ it long and stretching for what seemed like miles across the floor with gorgeous embroidery at the base of it.
it was heavenly.
your gaze snapped back to his, and he smiled fondly, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers.
âthree times.â he murmured, and you picked up on what he was referring to, tightening your grip on his hand and nodding.
âbeetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice.â
and the room spun around you, so astronomically fast that you almost doubled over in stifling nausea as the wind whipped through your hair and veil, expecting to land in the attic and finally outside that damn model when in reality, you were in a church cathedral as soon as your surroundings had stopped spinning⊠and one that looked exactly like the one in winter river.
âare weâŠâ you looked around. âare we still in the model?â
he shook his head. ânope! i was focusing my mind here when you were saying my name⊠weâre in winter river baby.â
you smiled, the atmosphere around you soft and serene as the dimly lit candles around you quietly flickered, a random lilac colored hue across the cathedral and one you assumed was placed by satoru himself as he took your hands in his, almost in a haste too, but choosing to brush the observation aside.
this was wrong⊠and satoru knew it.
but he pushed it to the back of his head again.
âwe are gathered here todayââ
âshit!â
you jumped and whipped your head to the side, breathing out and shoulders relaxing once you saw it was just your churchâs pastor that youâd known since birthâ a strange far off look in his eye that you deemed to be something that satoru did, for there was no way he was up at the crack of fucking dawn right now to do a wedding.
âsorry!â you laughed. âis he⊠is he okay?â
âoh yeah heâs fine! heâs actually still sleeping.â he let go of one of your hands and patted the pastors head. âiâm manipulating his head for a little bit. just until youâre my wife.â
his wife.
you nodded, cheeks so warm as you tried to refrain from jumping over how excited you were at the thought of finally fulfilling the vows you had placed on each other when you were youngâ them now nurturing into something real.
âdearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the love of satoru gojo and y/n y/m in holy matrimony.â
he shouldnât do this to you.
âtoday, they declare their intention to build a life together, sharing their joys and their challenges, and supporting one another in pursuit of their dreams.â
he canâtâ he canât build a life with you⊠can he?
he pushed his worries back again and gripped your hands tighter.
âdo you, satoru gojo, take y/n y/m to be your lawfully wedded wife? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?â
this is wrong.
but he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.
âi do.â
âand do you, y/n y/m, take satoru gojo to be your lawfully wedded husband? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?â
for as long as you both shall live.
satoru canât live.
âi dââ
âstop.â
you froze.
âwhat?â you asked worriedly. âwhatâs wrong?â
âiâm no better than the man i was when i first died.â
the look in his eyes was⊠odd, and it only further confused you.
âi donâtââ
âi canât let you marry me baby.â
your heart dropped.
âwhat?â
âi told you that if you married me it would break my contract and i would be a free man and thatâs trueâŠâ he began. âbut thereâs something else that i didnât tell you... iâ i kept it from you.â
oh fuck.
âwhat are you talking about toru.â your voice was low and heedful, almost like a warning to him, and he wanted to slam his head against the wall for being so fucking reckless again.
âif youââ he breathed in and shook his head, letting go of your hands and letting his fall tight at his sides, balling up. âif you marry me, youâre freeing meâŠâ
he gnawed at his lip.
âbut iâm killing you.â
your blood ran cold and drained from your face, words entirely at a loss and useless as your brain tried to process what the fuck he just told you.
kill you?
âmarrying me is like exchanging your soul with the dead.â satoru slowly shook his head. âyouâll die sweets⊠i canâtâ i canât do that to you.â
satoru was desperate to for you, so much so that he was willing to hide such a detrimental part of the marriage clause until the time came, choosing to play freaking stupid and tune it out in the hopes that in the end, he would be brave enough to go through with it just to keep you and not ever have to say goodbye again.
but it was wrong. so incredibly immoral and wrong and he felt like a monster for even trying to do it, for letting it go as far as it did and have you standing there in front of him in your pretty gown and veilâ just like how heâd imagined it when his blood was pumping and his heart was beating, and just like how heâd imagined it even now, shriveled up dead veins and all.
this is what fate had chosen for the two of you.
and though it took forever for satoru to accept it⊠you and him were simply not meant to be.
for you were meant to live, and satoru was meant to die.
âyou disgraceful bafoon! you insolent crook!â
the big doors of the cathedral kicked open and juno walked through, adam and barbara maitland running behind her and trying to pull her back, the both of them spouting reasonings and explanations.
âthis is her choice juno!ââ
âshe wants to let her do it!ââ
âthe kidâs just in love!ââ
âbutton it or iâm sending you back to the house!â juno grumbled at them, turning back around and pointing menacingly at satoru once she reached you both, her brittle old lady perfume wafting in your nostrils.
âjuno!â satoru greeted with faux cheerfulness, eyes wide and alarmed. âgood to see you hah! you look livelier than the last time i saw yââ
âwhat the hell do you think youâre doing boy?â she spat, eyes switching to you next. âand you! young ladyâ this man is a spirit!â
âiâi knowââ
âjuno they know each other.â barbara spoke up gently. âthey grew up together when he was alive.â
âyes they were in a relationship this isnât him trying to trick her into anythingââ
âno but it is.â satoru exhaustedly whined, cutting adam off as he ran his hands through his snowy hair. âshe didnât know about the clause⊠i just told her now.â
silence.
âyou didnât tell her about the clause?!ââ
âare you out of your mind you cockroach?!ââ
âyouâre doing what you did before!ââ
âi know!â satoru exclaimed over the yells of scolding and belittlement. âi know i know thatâs why i told her just now⊠iâm not letting her do it iâ i couldnât.â
he turned to you.
âbaby i want you. i need you and thatâs why i didnât say anything like a fucking dingbat because iâm tired of living forever without you... it sucks.â
you felt tears prickle at your eyes.
âbut this isnât fair to you at all. you deserve to live man⊠i canâtâ i wonât drag you down with me.â
âtoruââ
âthe living and the dead were never meant to coexist.â juno interjected, her gaze looking at satoru sincerely for once that it was a strange sight for him.
she placed a hand on her chest. âiâm sorry that your love was separated by death, truly. i sympathize with you. i canât think of anything more cruel.â
you both solemnly nodded.
âbut the living and the dead were never meant to coexist.â she repeated. âso even though you two move on from this and go back to being what you are, satoru will stay like this and you will not. you will grow.â
juno addressed you directly and you listened with a heavy heartâ the use of satoruâs actual given name now from her instead of âbeetlejuiceâ adding a layer of somber seriousness.
âand letâs just say this clause didnât exist and you get to marry her and she stays alive⊠satoru will still stay and you will grow. do you both understand what iâm trying to say?â
you quickly wiped the corner of your eyes, satoru peeking over at you sadly.
âi wonât tell you what i think the right choice is young lady.â she continued. âthe dead arenât even supposed to associate with the living like this⊠but weigh the consequences of either path and see which one you want to walk in.â
she stepped a bit closer, holding eye contact with you.
âbut let me make one thing clearâ the power of the living is greater than the dead. if you choose to marry him, you will break his contract forever and free him of his violations. but if you do, you will die and be one of us.â
either path is difficult.
to sacrifice his freedom, or to sacrifice your life?
but you knew that a life without satoru was nothing and bleakâŠ. you had lived it for three years.
were you willing to return to that? just to keep your heart beating? and say goodbye to satoru for good?
you didnât want to live in a world that didnât have him in it. you didnât want to live in a world where you remembered satoru for longer than youâd known him, and the thought only made you absolutely sick to your stomach as you envisioned the rest of your life without the person who knew you best.
it was almost easy⊠you didnât have to weigh the consequences at all.
your path was satoru.
âweâre getting married.â
âwhat?!â satoru frantically shook his head. âno sweets no weâre not.â
âyes we are.â you pushed. âthis isnât for you to decide itâs my choice and i choose youââ
âand iâm not letting you.â he countered. âyouâre choosing wrong so unbelievably wrongââ
âbut iâm not though!â you argued. âliterally explain to me right now how me stuck in a world that doesnât have you in it is better thanââ
ây/n you need to live.â he cut you off. âi died, not you itâs not supposed to be you alright? i canât let you do this.â
tears slipped from your eyes and you wiped them right away.
âdo you notâ sniffâ do you not want me do you want me to go away whatââ
ânoâŠâ he stepped forward and cupped your cheeks. âthatâs the last thing i want and you know thatâŠâ
âthen why wonât you marry me?â you hiccuped. âwhy wonât you let me stay with you?â
âbabyâ life is so unbelievably precious.â he moved strands of your hair away from your face. âdo you have any idea what i would give to have it again? to feel my body actually working for a change instead of it just being nothing?â
you continued to cry, your hands clutching his wrists.
âi donât want you to take that away from yourself because of me⊠i want you breathing. i want your little heart pumping and your cheeks warm, i want you to move on.â
âiâ hic!â i donât want to move on from youââ
âyou have to sweets.â he quickly wiped his eyes before cupping your cheeks again. âweâre not meant to be baby and i hate so much that we arenât⊠and iâm sorry.â
âtoru stop itââ
âplease live for me okay? for the both of us. and donât forget me either please donât forget meââ
âwhy are youââ you harshly wiped your eyes. âwhy are you talking like that what are you doingââ
âi donât think i should be around you anymore baby.â
âhuh?!â your eyes narrowed. âare you serious?â
âsatoruââ
juno raised a hand, stopping barbara from interjecting.
âit wonât be good for either of us if i stick around...â he sniffled. âi need to stay away from you because if i donât, i might try to trick you again into giving up your soul and i canât have that.â
âmy soul?â you spat. âtake it i donât want it without you i told you alreadyââ
âplease try to understand.â he placed a soft kiss to your forehead. âplease.â
ânoââ
âiâll see you soon okay?â satoru let go of your face. âgraduate please. have kids and get married and stuff⊠travel.â
you were supposed to do all of that with him.
âsatoru no listen to me!ââ
âi love you.â
âstop!ââ
satoruâs grief was monumental, but his love for you was greater, choosing to let you go for the sake of your life.
he looked to juno and she sighed through her nose, somehow knowing exactly what he was silently asking for, stepping forward and lifting a hand.
âsatoru please i wanna stay with you!ââ
juno sharply moved her hand to the side and you were pulled to a blinding white abyss, dream like and fuzzy as you felt all muscles in your body relax, your mind completely blank and free of the heartbreak and loss and sorrow for a little, floating through a cloud of soft serenity as it brought you in and tried to clear the pain in your heart.
you werenât aware of where you were or what juno had done, but your thoughts were distant and muffled as you let it engulf you entirely in its welcoming arms, you sleepy and drowsy until the blinding white abyss slowly shrunk down to a pure black, quiet void, the nerves in your body twitching little by little until you were finally consciously aware of your limbs and mind, but you too tired still to open your eyes.
you cruelly dreamed of satoru still. of him alive.
and you werenât sure how long you had been in this weird pit of tranquility, or how long you were asleep for until you were jerked awake and ripped from it entirely.
âheyâ y/n?â
you shot awake, sitting up and whipping your head around.
you were back in your dorm.
âare you okay? why are you sleeping on the floor?â
you looked up, your roommate standing there with a weirded out expression.
âand what are you wearing?â
your gaze shifted downward, and the minute you saw your black wedding dress and veil folded neatly next to you, memories of what had happened hours prior came achingly flooding in as you scrambled to stand up on your feet, scaring your roommate and leaving her to grumble in her head about how she wished the system didnât put her to room with the campus ghost girl.
âsorry! i have to go thank you though for waking me uââ
your voice trailed off down the hall, you running through and ignoring the weirded out looks from other students as you sprinted out of the building and down the street, engulfing the skirt of your gown up in your arms so you wouldnât accidentally trip over it and eat shit on the ground, the goal of getting back to the maitlandâs house the only thing on your mind as you ran.
your lungs burned by the time you got to the bottom of the hill, and you thanked anyone that was willing to listen for allowing winter river to exist as the smallest town you had ever known, sparing you from running a full fledged marathon just to get to the house as you heaved and tried to catch your breath, a little sweaty and hot as you began the hike up the hill.
you hoped he was there.. in the attic.
you hoped to god that he was.
reaching the top, you continued to trudge across the dirt driveway and up the porch steps, your foot lifting and just about to make contact with the old wooden platform until an invisible force grabbed your ankle and pulled you back, literally dragging you away from the house and down the hill over the grass as you screamed and thrashed for it to let you go.
satoru.
and you tried again, hiking up the hill with your bundled up wedding skirt in your arms, reaching the top faster than last time and choosing to run up the porch steps instead to see if you could outrun his ghostly abilities.
except you couldnât, because the invisible force caught you by the ankle again just as your fingers grazed the doorknob, yanking you away and down the hill until it left you screaming and huffing in frustration at the bottom.
you continued to do that for the rest of the fucking day, and everyday for that matter, for an entire week straight.
walking up the hill, reaching the top, getting reeled back, running up the hill and getting sent back down again, sprinting for it only to get dragged away once more as the repeated cycle you had set for yourself happened over and over, until by your last attempt you couldnât even walk up the hill anymore, satoru having put a huge invisible wall around the house that was impossible to get through.
you were angry. angry and bitter that he was doing this.
was it so bad to just want to spend the rest of your undying life with him? is that not what he wanted this entire time? why was he so adamant on damning you to live a life of suffering andâ and loneliness? a life without him?
you didnât know what to do. your psychic abilities were only for sensing the dead and being able to see themâ nothing to do with calling forth spirits or summoning them at any given place and time, so there was no way for you to call satoru no matter how much you wanted to or tried.
and you cried. you cried and you sobbed just like how you did when he first died, except somehow worse knowing that there was a chance to be together with him forever and him not wanting it⊠not wanting you.
but you waited anyways, hoping that he would come around and change his mind, that he would bring down that stupid invisible wall and let you inside the house and back to him, counting down the days and hours and minutes until it became clearer to you that satoru wasnât going to change his mind.
and by the third week, you had almost entirely given up.
you felt nothing. absolutely nothing as you slugged through your classes or your day to day errands, not giving a shit about anything that you had to do in this world for you had always loved the other world moreâ the world of spirits and the netherworld and the great beyond, the world that had satoru in it, as you appreciated and admired that one more ever since you were a kid with your parents⊠more than the one you were currently inâ as this one was filled with ignorance and criticism.
you felt helpless⊠and maybe satoru was right.
if he was willing to give up an opportunity to keep you forever, then maybe thatâs just the way it goes⊠maybe you should just accept it, and you choosing to think of the latter instead of begging and kneeling at nothing for satoru to come back and get you and marry youâ was helping the bitterness in your heart grow and get you by, it at least stopping you from crying in the middle of your lectures or the grocery store and weirding people out anyways.
maybe you should accept the fact that you and him were not meant to be.
after an entire month, you had given up.
and satoruâs grave was the closest you knew youâd get to him, permanently divided by dirt and soil and grass⊠six feet under and totally out of your reach, his tombstone engraved and pretty and one you couldnât believe you had forgotten about as it sat here alone for years right under your noseâ you visiting it now for the millionth time as you placed your book bag down and sat criss crossed on the grass, mindlessly tugging and breaking off pieces of it as you sat there.
you sighed deeply and hugged your knees up to your chest, the day surprisingly a sunny one as chirping birds flittered past you through the wind, tiny little white butterflies occasionally stopping by to sit on your arm or satoruâs tombstone as you sat there in thought⊠not really sure what to think, but comforted by the fact that the engravings on his stone reminded you that he was once very much alive and real.
there was an odd wavering in your heart, and you had a feeling that this was going to be the last time you were visiting his grave, for you figured it was time to finally do what he wanted you to doâ move on and forget him.
âdonât move on.â
you stiffened.
that voice⊠was your mind hallucinating now? jesus chriâ
âdonât move on from me please⊠andâ and donât forget me. i take it all back.â
you heard footsteps draw nearer across the grass and you turned your head, eyes widening and unbelieving as you saw satoru standing there with a pleading anxious expression, him still dressed in his black and white suit that he had on for the wedding.
was it actually him?
âhow are youâŠâ you trailed off, your mind having difficulty processing how he was there. âhow are you outside the house? i thought the contractââ
âjuno gave me a hall passâŠâ he explained softly. âit expires at the end of the day.â
you hummed, itching to jump up and wrap your arms around him and cling to him, but stopping yourself from doing so as you still didnât know why he was here, and you were quite frankly still bitter and hurt from him sending you away.
you slightly turned your body. âwhy are you here?â
âbecause i canât stay away from you.â
your heart skipped a beat as he crouched down to your level, your eyes greedily running across every feature of his face and committing it to memory, as you now had him directly in front of you again instead of having to rely on recollections of him to try and mend your aching heart.
and satoru was doing the same.
âi started to sense you distancing from me and⊠and i had this feeling that you were starting to listen and move on and forget me and it made me fucking ill. which is crazy because iâm dead⊠but i was literally ill sweets.â
you let a tiny soft smile play at your lips.
âi canât take it.â he spoke again, shaking his head. âi canât take the thought of you forgetting me. not now, not ever, and i donât know why i was stupid enough to try and convince myself that i could watch you do something like that even if its the right thing.â
âyou sent me away.â
âi did babyâŠâ he reached over and gently caressed your cheek. âand i regret that so fucking much. iâm sorry.â
âtoru i need you to understand that you canât make choices like that for me.â
âi know.â he mumbled and dropped his hand, eyes casting down. âiâm stupid.â
âbut i also need you to understand, that i have no interest in living in a world that doesnât have you in it⊠itâs not worth it now that youâre gone.â
you tilted your head to try and catch his gaze, continuing once his blue eyes flickered back to yours.
âi would die for you, and i would die without you. i look for you in everything that i do and you expecting me to just forget you is cruel.â
âno i donât want you to forget me anymââ
âwhatâs life to you?â you asked him suddenly. âwhat does it feel to you? and mean?â
he stared at you with pinched brows, his face endearing but sad all at the same time.
âwarm.â he murmured. âbeautiful and⊠pure. itâs peaceful and it means you.â
your heart fluttered and you smiled, and satoru fell in love with you all over againâ something you conquered when he was alive, and something you conquered again in death.
âthatâs what life is toru.â you cupped his cheek. âto me itâs notâ this.â
you gestured around you. âitâs not my body or my heart, itâs not the sun and itâs not breathing. itâs you. i feel life through you and i always have⊠because life doesnât literally mean where i am now and neither does it mean the netherworld baby⊠it means you and me.â
satoru didnât even realize he was crying until you wiped his cheeks, your words serving an entirely new perspective to him about the living and the dead and he felt peace.
because yes satoru was dead⊠but he was still living. living because he had you as the embodiment of it, and living because his soul still permitted him to see you again and be with you, to look at you with his own undead eyes and feel warmth like he did before.
but not literal warmth from your body or pumping blood or a beating heart.
but warmth from your soul. from who you are.
thatâs what life was to him⊠and what life was to you.
satoru wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you to his chest, one hand on the back of your head as he cradled you and cried, finally now no longer mourning his past life like heâd been doing for the past three years, and no longer wishing for it back either or thinking that physically living in this world was the better option for you just because it meant you were breathing.
where he was, was just fine. and wherever you chose to go would be fine too.
but you chose to go with him, something that had been set since the moment you met under the magnolia tree back in middle schoolâ living or dead, paris or italy, your choice would always and forever be him.
satoru proposed to you right then and there at his gravesite, flying to one knee as soon as you both stood back up and him manifesting the biggest diamond rock you had ever seen in your life, laughing and crying together as he slipped it over your ring finger, for your marriage meant the binding of the living and the dead, and the binding of you and himâ a new beginning.
but this time your wedding wasnât at the cathedral, but under the pretty magnolia tree where you had met, now accompanied by the maitlands as barbara cried, and juno as she herself officiated the wedding, you thinkingâ hoping that she grew a soft spot for satoru, and that behind her stern resting face, she was glad satoru was finally a free man and granted a second chance.
giving your soul up was nothing to you, and it didnât hurt at all either⊠you feeling lighter in exchange actually⊠happy, with satoru standing in front of you and with a massive fucking grin on his face, shiny and bright as he practically jumped in his spot in excitement over you finally being his wife and that he got to keep youâ and right this time⊠no lies or tricks or hidden secrets, but genuine authentic sacrifice instead, for it was the purest form of love.
because this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
it had decided that satoru gojo was meant to die⊠but it had also decided to bring you back to him as wellâ to the house of the maitlands, to the attic he was banished to, and back together again in each others cold arms where you belonged, defying the laws of the living and the dead and proving that life doesnât end even after your hearts stopped beating.
fate had decided that you were both meant to be. that was always a fact.
and fate had decided that you and satoru gojo were meant to live, with unbeating hearts and icy cold skin, but souls still warm for each other nonetheless.
because through sickness and in health⊠death could not do you both apart.
you and satoru.
together for eternity.
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can we get Duchess reader yearning for a baby of her own đ„ș imagine there was a Ball in the neighboring kingdom and Duchess!Reader and Duke!Price was invited, celebrating the birth of the Kingdomâs new heir, a baby boy on her fellow Duchessâs arms.
And reader coos at the baby while masking the deep ache in her heart thinking that itâll be so impossible to have a baby with her husband due to him and his lovers đą
cue to Duchess!Reader having a heavy heart through out the entire event and even the days after that, until one of our boys asks her what wrong.
(And John having to hold Johnny back bc that nasty dog has been waiting to get his paws on her since forever)
Oh my god yes??? Anon i could smooch your brain right now yes??? This is so good i love it. Sorry for the abrupt ending though, had no idea how to finish it off đ
Original Post
âSuch an adorable little one,â you coo softly, the newborn held delicately and carefully in your arms, swaddled in the baby blue blankets you and John had bought among your other gifts for your fellow Duke and Duchess. âHe looks so much like you, Iâm in awe.â
Your friend laughs lightly, sipping on her drink. With a soft sigh, she leans closer towards you. The party is in full swing, so many other nobles mingling and networking, but thankfully you and your friend have your own little corner for now and everyone has already congratulated her and her husband.
âSo,â she begins, her eyes flickering towards where both of you twoâs husbands are speaking. The smiles on their faces are clearly happy, though you arenât surprised; John had mentioned that heâs already friends with the Duke during the carriage ride. âSo. What about you and Duke Price, hm? Any surprises we should prepare for?â
Ah. You had been dreading this.
You sigh, shaking your head. Though the smile returns as you gaze at the napping baby, so small and precious in your arms. With you friendâs permission, you gently kiss his tiny little fists. âNot at all. We are happy as we are.â
And itâs not as if you are lying by any means, oh no. You are happy. Life as Duchess was far, far much better than you had expected itâd be, a lot less restrictive than you had prepared for it to be.
ButâŠ
You canât lie to yourself. Youâve been feeling a sense of discontent from the very second you stepped into the gala venue. Perhaps for even longer, though it hadnât been especially felt until this moment. Not until you held this baby in your arms.
You want a baby, too, you had realized. Motherhood. A child all yours, calling you momma and toddling into your arms. You had been unable to stop yourself from feeling the little bud of jealousy towards your friend, because you knew youâd likely never experience such a thing due to your unique situation.
John has his own partners whom he loves. You werenât among that list, and you didnât particularly enjoy the idea of having sex with another man with the potential risk of your parents, or anyone else, asking for a paternity test because you know someone would ask. Your mother, probably; she was always warning you not to whore yourself out, and your father didnât even need to say anything-
âMy dear?â
Johnâs concerned voice pulls you out of your thoughts, his hand gentle on your elbow, and itâs only then you realize you had been staring down at the baby with such sadness, so not befitting of such a beautiful gala. So you shake your head, clearing your thoughts, and turn to him and your friend's husband.
When the baby squirms, you coo softly and hand him back to your friends, gentle and careful. That's when you turn to John, giving him a simple smile. "Yes, Your Grace?"
The worry remains on his face, less visible however, and his eyes look over you carefully. Your friends are too busy with their son and showing him off to care about what you two are saying in the corner heâs led you to. "Are you alright?â
As if youâd ever tell him what the issue is. You donât want to make John feel pressured into this, of all things. Youâd rather be divorced than do so, and that should speak volumes on its own.
Itâs a silly want, anyways. You have everything you could possible need right now, married and stable. You arenât about to ruin it with your own two hands.
So you nod your head, and brush away all thoughts of a little baby cradled in your arms. âYes, I am. I was just lost in thought. Shall we return to the party?â
John observes you for a few seconds more, and then he sighs and nods. âVery well. Would you do me the honor of this dance, my dear Duchess?â
Between the dazzling lights and Johnâs arms, you can almost forget the lingering desire.
But over the next few days after the gala, it becomes clear to John- to all your the men that something is terribly bothering you. There is a lingering sadness around you so profound even your maids have sensed it, wondering if perhaps you and the Duke have finally had your first fight⊠but he looks even more more worried and confused than them. You werenât mad at anyone, that much he could tell, but he didnât understand the heartache plaguing you.
ââŠare you sick, my lady?â Kyle asks you one day, placing down a tray of fresh desserts. Your favorites, all made by Johnny himself, yet you barely flick a look towards it.
âNot at all. Thank you, Kyle, but Iâm afraid I canât eat anything at the moment.â Your reply is soft, patient, as it always is, but the furrow in your brows remain and your frown deepens. Kyle hates it. He hates it so, so much. Youâve even stopped taking your usual break-walks, staying inside your room and asking for nothing in particular.
âMy lady,â he presses on, voice softer. Comes to stand close to you, and holds his elbow out. âMaybe a walk, then? You look tired. Some sun might do you good- or a picnic? I can pack the desserts and-â
You avoid his eyes and look away, shaking your head. âThank you, but my answerâs the same, Kyle. Iâd just⊠like to be left alone, please. Could I trouble you to also inform John I wonât be joining him for dinner tonight?â
You are simply glad you managed to hide the little paper youâd been writing on before he came in. Baby names, for the babies youâd never have. It certainly didnât help make your mood better, but you couldnât help yourself. Looking at John, or any of them, also made you feel guilty anew.
ââŠnot a problem, my lady. Iâll leave the desserts here for you just in case.â
Several days later, itâs Johnny who comes to you. You are alone in the conservatory, trying hard to get over this stupid, lingering feeling. Itâs silly, you know it is, but⊠ugh.
Johnny says nothing even when you call his name out with a questioning tone, and much to your shock, he kneels down to take your hands in his. Itâs so wholly inappropriate, and you look around in fear of anyone seeing.
âNo oneâs around, mâlady,â Johnny shakes his head, not letting your hands go yet.
âJohnny-â
âNo oneâs around.â He repeats, firmly, and his eyes gaze at you. âMâlady. Have we made ye angry? Has anyone made you upset? Is my food not to your liking?â
âJohnnyâŠâ you sigh, shaking your head. Inwardly, you scold yourself for bothering everyone like this. This should have been your issue alone to solve and hide. âNo, no. Nothing like that. I just need some time alone, in general.â
âBut why-â
âNo particular reason.â You quickly cut him off, gently pulling your hands away. âPlease, Johnny. Iâll get better soon, promise. But I just⊠need time.â
But the desire, the longing, still remains. You canât even confide in anyone, so you also feel painfully lonely on top of everything else. John is still searching, still trying to find what or whoâs made you like this, but not even your closest maids are of help.
Still, while you wished to wallow your misery away in your rooms and office, you didnât have much choice when youâd received an invitation to the opera troupe funded by the Price duchy; making an appearance was a must, and unfortunately John had a very important meeting that day so Simon is the one to accompany you.
âYouâve been sad lately.â Simon doesnât beat around the bush, all the lights focused on the stage so you are both draped in shadows, hidden from sight.
You turn to him, a refusal on your lips already-
âNo.â He shakes his head. âYou arenât just tired, Duchess. You are sad. Everyone can see it, and itâs making us worried. All of us.â He adds, not letting you latch onto your usual excuse. Performance ignored, his entire attention is on you.
And you are just- too tired. Ashamed of yourself, you sigh.
âItâs awful of meâŠâ your whisper, bottom lip quivering. âI-⊠I want a baby, Simon.â You admit, so softly and quietly you donât look at his reaction to see if heâd even heard you in the first place. You shouldnât be telling him of all people your issues, but- you canât help yourself. âA child. I want to experience motherhood, but- I donât, I refuse to put such a burden on John, or get in the way between all of you again-â
You ramble on, not meeting his eyes. Your hands are tembling around the mask youâd taken off, holding it in your lap.
Simon?
Simon canât take his eyes off your stomach. You. You, pregnant; swollen and glowing with a child. Maybe children, even. Their children. His. He canât believe this is what has had you so upset for so long; did you think they- John- would say no to you?
âDarling, â The nickname slips out; he couldnât help himself. He is glad the no one is paying attention to them, in the higher rows. Simon laces your pinkies together, raising your hand to kiss your knuckles, silencing your worried rambling. âDarling. Let us return home. Staying here isnât doing you any good. Tonight, I want you to let Kyle spoil you with a warm bath, and for you to eat and then sleep. Rest. Tomorrow, weâll speak. Iâll inform the troupe leader you werenât feeling too well.â
âI- I⊠speak about what? What?â
Simon simply ushers you out, to the awaiting carriage. He doesnât answer any of your questions, even when you pout and the it makes your lipstick glisten to prettily, though if you can feel that his hands are inappropriately tight around your waist, you simply blame it on your tightened corset.
At home, you are still confused. Simon is acting off, staring at you with a look that makes you all flustered, but you donât protest when Kyle gently leads you away.
Youâll get your answers tomorrow, you are sure. But in the meantimeâŠ
âShe wants a baby, John,â Simon groans, repeating the words again. His jacket is thrown off to the side, sleeves rolled up his elbows. Even from here, he can see how John eyes them appreciatively. âA baby, John. Seeing her pregnant-â
Another groan, but the one comes from between Johnâs thighs. Johnny, hands tied behind his back with Simonâs belt because the second he found out what the issue he was so, so ready to go and beg you to let him fix it. A bairn is what you want, a bairn is what heâll give you- chunky, adorable, and hopefully looking like you.
John had to hold him back, though. He wants nothing more than to do the same, kiss you breathless and promise heâll give you as many as you want, but he also knows you need a clear, rested head before he speaks with you.
The thought of seeing your pregnant, though, has his fist tightening in Johnnyâs hair.
âI know. Fuck, I know, Si. Tomorrow, Iâll speak to her.â
#cod x reader#cod#cod x you#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#tf 141 x you#cod imagines#john price x reader#noona.asks#noona.writes#simon ghost x you#simon ghost riley x you#soap x reader#ghost x reader#poly!141 x reader#gaz x reader#kyle gaz x reader#ghost x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#call of duty x reader#poly 141#simon ghost riley x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#kyle gaz x you#john price x you#john price imagine#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley imagines
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It's a Love Story - Chapter 4
Summary:
Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.
Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.
And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.
Warning:
Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
In that moment, Skyâs brain didn't function.Â
She just sat there, staring at the gorgeous, gorgeous male across from her. She couldnât think. Not when he looked like that. Not when he looked better than any figment her imagination had ever come up withâŠ
He wasâŠthe most beautiful male Skylar Alden had ever seen.Â
Everything about him was perfection. From his inky black hair, to his high, chiseled cheekbones, to his...his strong broad body that looked like it was just made to be pressed right up against hers. Gods...he looked like he was made from her deepest fantasies. He was...he wasâŠ
And then he gave her a slow, soft smile and her breath caught in her throat.Â
Cauldron, he was beautiful. Like every perfect fantasy she had ever had come to life.Â
And he smelled even better than he looked, the scent of cedar and mist so mouthwateringly delicious she wanted to lick it straight off his damn skin. How a male could look this sinfully gorgeous and smell just as delicious, she didn't know. And he...he was smiling at her. Smiling at...her.
And she could feel the bond.
She could feel it.
SomethingâŠjust clicked into place. Something in her chest shifted and it felt right and perfect and she just knew.Â
Sky just knew that nobody else would ever come close to compare to himâŠ
This was the male for her. He...he was hers.
Hers.
Her mate.Â
Sky was a hopeless romantic. Maybe she needed to be that, so that she was able to write love stories for a living.
She loved love. She loved the whole fairytale, happily ever after fantasy. And looking at the male in front of her, it was like he came straight from the pages of her books.
But things like this didnât happen to girls like her. She knew that. She knew that so well. She⊠he wasnât going to want toâŠ
Sky wasn't attractive enough, not interesting enough. Why would he choose her? Why would this gorgeous, gorgeous thing of beauty want to be with...someone like her?
It wouldnât make sense. She wasn't...she wasn't anything special. He could do so much better than...than her.
She was so awkward, so plain. He was just...way out of her league.
âWhatâs wrong?â He asked her. Even his voice was perfect. One hand reached out for her, and she weakly registered the violent scars that covered it. They looked like they must have hurt. And then he seemingly thought better about it. âYouâŠwere happy.NowâŠâ
That was the problem. She couldn't stop her stupid thoughts. They just kept on running through her brain, making her feel...feel self-conscious. Insecure. She was...she was just a mess. Always had been.
And she opened her mouth to respond but no word left her lips, her throat closing as she tried to say even a single sounds.
Tears shot in her eyes. Why? Just for oneâŠjust for one fucking time Sky didnât want every word that left her mouth to be a fight.
But it was. And she tried to say a single thing but her body didnât allow her, and her heart reatcheted up because she knew that she looked like an idiot butâŠShe couldn't move. Couldn't...couldn't do anything but just sit there and cry like the pathetic, stupid mess she was. She didn't deserve him. He was...he was perfect. And Sky was just...useless.
He was just staring at her, looking...worried, probably so confused about why she was being like this.Â
Stupid. So stupid. Like she always was. The tears kept falling, and she felt pathetic. So, so pathetic.
Her eyes closed as she fought back a sob, biting her lip so hard she tasted blood. It was...it was too humiliating, being like this in front of him. She probably looked like a total freak. She...she just wished he didn't have to see her like this.
He shouldn't have to see her like this, see her being an absolute mess because she didn't know how to act like a normal person. She could feel him move, and her breath hitched. He...he was probably about to leave. She...she didn't blame him, really. She was an embarrassment.
But then a warm, broad hand was on top of her own trembling fingers, covering her with his own. Her eyes flew open from the shock, her lips parting in surpris, his gorgeous eyes fixed on hers as he gently stroked the back of her hands with his thumb.
âTake a deep breath, love. Itâs alright,â he soothed her softly. âItâs alright.â
She could feel her heart flutter as his voice washed over her, warm like a balm over a burn. It just made her want to cry even more, because he...he was being so nice. So gentle with her, even though he probably thought that she was being utterly ridiculous.
âIâŠIâŠ.I am soâŠ.soâŠsorry.â Her stutter was so bad. Clearly at its worst. Worse than it even was when she didnât have enough sleep.
She felt tears sliding down her cheeks even harder, her vision getting blurry as she tried to avoid his eyes. Her stupid, stupid stutter always got worse when she was upset. Like her brain shut down and she just...lost the ability to form basic sentences.
She tried to calm down, tried to stop crying, but it just kept going. The tears didn't stop, and god, she must've looked completely pathetic.
"I'm s-sorry." she sobbed, her voice a wretched, strangled sound as she tried to stop the shaking that wracked her entire body. She just wanted...she just wanted to be calm. To be normal.
And he had probably even heard Claire. Had probably heard every barbed word her sister had thrown in her direction.
The thought made her want to wail as the tears fell harder, her breathing growing laboured and uneven. He would never want her now. Not after she had embarrassed herself like this. Not after she just...sat here and cried and stuttered like an idiot.
She tried to pull away from his grasp, but he didn't let her, gently taking her hands in his. His fingers felt so warm on hers, and his touch was so, so gentle. It just made the tears fall even harder, an ugly, broken sound wrenching from her throat.
Sky wanted to stop, she wanted to stop crying and being so hysterical, but her stupid, worthless brain wouldn't co-operate.
And then suddenly he enveloped her against a broad chest, strong arms settling sround her. He was hugging her
It was like every fiber of her being froze, her heart nearly stopping as she felt his arms encircle her. It was like...like some kind of dream. He was hugging her, hugging her like she was precious to him, like he...he truly cared about her. After all of Skyâs awkwardness, and stupid, pathetic crying...he still was holding her like this.
âBreath,â he told her softly. âItâs alright. Whatever is wrong, weâll fix it.â
She took a deep, trembling breath, his scent washing over her. It was like he was everywhere, his arms tight and yet gentle around her, his broad chest pressed against hers, his cedar and mist scent in her nose. It just...it just made the tears fall all the more harder, a small, broken sob wringing itself from her throat.
Of course, his scent was just as amazing as he was. And it made her feel...feel safe. Like nothing could hurt her as long as he was there, like he would protect her from everything and anything.Â
She buried her head in his chest, trying to block out the rest of the world as she held onto him so tightly she was sure she was probably hurting him. But still he didn't move, still he let her cling to him as she cried so hard it made her shake.
For once in her life Sky felt delicate in his grasp. She wasnât thin at all, but against himâŠshe felt small. She felt so safe pressed against him.Secure. Like she could let him hold her forever as she sobbed so hard she was practically convulsing. She knew he probably thought she was being pathetic, but still...but still, he was hugging her.
It was like she couldn't breathe. Her heart was hammering so hard against her ribcage that it hurt to even draw in oxygen, her emotions completely overwhelming her.Â
She could feel his fingers running through her brown curls, and the touch just made her cry even harder. She must have looked so awful, so miserable, but he just...he just held her like this. Like she mattered to him, like she wasn't a total, pathetic mess.
And finallyâŠfinally Sky managed to calm down.
It took a long while, but eventually, the sobs eased into small, shallow breaths as she curled up against his strong chest. Sky still felt...awful. Like a total idiot. But at least the tears had stopped.
âIâŠ.i am sorâŠsorry.â She managed to bring out.
âThere is nothing you need to apologise for,â he told her gently, one hand still delicately rubbing her spine.
âIâŠI criâŠcried all oâŠover you.âHer voice sounded scratchy and broken from all the crying, and she was so deeply ashamed of it. He probably thought she sounded ridiculous. But she took another deep breath and pressed on, trying to speak through her tears, her stupid stutter still making it hard for her to even form a single word.
He held out a handkerchief for her and she whiled away the tears.
She blinked a few times, staring at the piece of fabric. He...he was giving her something to dry her tears, because she was such a pathetic mess that she had completely soaked the front of his shirt. Shame made heat rise in her cheeks, but she took the handkerchief from him.
She dabbed away at her wet lashes, her voice weak and raspy as she spoke. "T-thank you," she said quietly, still not being able to meet his eyes. She still felt so humiliated, but also so, so grateful that he was still here, that he hadn't left yet.
Sy knew she probably looked completely dreadful, all red-eyed and blotchy from all the crying, her hair mess and tangled from where he had run his fingers through it.Â
She wanted to curl up and die from the shame of it all. Of being such a stupid, messy, emotional wreck. She must have looked like such an idiot, but somehow, somehow he was still here.Â
"Will you tell me your name?" he asked her softly.
Sky felt her heartbeat quicken as he spoke, as his voice washed over her. Of course. Of course he didn't even know her name. She had been so caught up in her little pity party that she hadn't even introduced herself yet. A fresh wave of tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them away as best as she was able.
"S---Sky," she managed to bring out. She grimaced at her stutter. "S...Sorry." She didn't dare to try and say anything else. Didn't dare to try an ask him for his name, because otherwise she was going to stutter even more.
"There is absolutely nothing you need to apologise for," he repeated fiercely. "I am Azriel."
His words made something in her heart quicken, her stomach fluttering in a way that it shouldn't. A small, shaky breath left her lips at the sound of his name, and she couldn't help but repeat it to herself quietly in her head. Azriel. His name suited him perfectly.
She looked up at him, finally looking at him properly, only to find that he was looking right back at her, those deep, hazel eyes fixed on her in a way that made her heart stutter in her chest. She probably looked awful, a total wreck, and yet he was still looking at her like that.
She opened her mouth to try and speak, but only a tiny, broken squeak left her lips. So she tried again, forcing the words out from between her lips. "Azriel." His name felt so good on her lips, even if her voice broke on the second syllable, but still, she had managed to say it.
He smiled that beautiful smile of his once more, and the sight of it made her want to cry all over again. How was it that this perfect male was still here, was still looking at her like...like she was something precious? Like she was anything other than a total wreck?! She just...she just wanted to die from the humiliation of it all.
"Tell me what's wrong." It wasn't as much a statement as much as it was an order. "You were happy. And then you just..."
She sniffled, trying to stop herself from crying even more than she already had. It was hard, her eyes blinking as tears continued to well up and fall. "It's..." She took in a raspy, stuttering breath, her lips trembling. "It's juâŠjuâŠst...just me being...being stuâŠstupid."
"Somehow I find that hard to believe," Azriel responded, his voice flat. "Take a deep breath. And then tell me what's wrong so I can fix this."
She blinked a few times, looking at him. He was so...straightforward. Direct. So commanding, but also so gentle. Like he actually cared. She felt...she felt so, so unworthy of that. She didn't deserve his kindness, not after acting like a complete lunatic. Still, she obeyed, taking a deep, shaky breath before trying to speak.
"You...You deâŠdeâŠdeserve betâŠbetter thanâŠthan me," she whispered. Her voice was quiet, little more than a whisper, and she felt her throat thicken as she spoke. It was true, and she...she couldn't believe he was being so gentle with her. Not with how ridiculous she was being.
He stared at. "What."
She looked down, focusing her eyes on her hands that were clutched in her lap. His own hand was still resting gently on the nape of her neck. "I...I am..." She took a deep breath, forcing herself to try to explain. "You...YouâŠyou areâŠyou. And IâŠI amâŠme.â He was so handsome. And she wasnât beautiful in the slightest.Â
Sky blinked a few times, trying not to start crying even more than she had already done. It was just so...hard. So hard to admit how...how unworthy she was of him. He was amazing, and she was a total mess.Â
A complete emotional disaster.
And he was going to realise that one day and leave or cheat on her with her sister and that was going to crush her heart and...
She tried so hard to blink away the tears that welled up in her eyes. She knew...she knew that this was just a temporary thing. That he was only being this kind to her out of pity. He would see how awful she truly was, and he would leave, just like everyone else did.
"Cauldron, Love, they really did a number on you," he breathed.
She sniffled, wiping the tears that fell from her cheeks. She knew that. She knew that she was unloveable. That there was something fundamentally wrong with her. And she hated it.Â
"YouâŠyou'll choâŠchâŠchoose sâŠsâŠsomebody elâŠelse andâŠand I get it bâŠbut it's goâŠgoing to hâŠhurt and..." she croaked out.
"I am not going to choose somebody else," he cut her off. "You are my mate."
She blinked, her heart stuttering in her chest at his words. It felt...it felt like a dream. It didn't feel real. There was no way, just no way in Hell that someone like him was her mate. She was...there was absolutely no universe where she deserved him.
"That means that until you tell me to disappear off the face of this earth, you are stuck with me," he told her softly. "That means, that I will always choose you. I will always be on your side. I will protect you and I will shelter you."
She just stared at him as her heart hammered so hard against her ribcage that she wanted to pass out. Was he....was...was he being serious? Even as broken and awful as she was...how she had just completely fallen apart in front of him....he was still...he was still saying that she was...was his mate? That he would...that he would always choose her? Protect her...shelter her?
Her side...nobody had ever seemingly been on her side.
"I..." She was at a total loss for words. Him...him wanting to...to protect her? To shelter her? It was everything she had ever wanted. But she was so, so terrified that it was all...temporary. That the moment he saw her for all the broken, damaged things that she really was...that he would leave. Everyone always left.
He lifted his hand and she leaned against it as he cupped her cheek, wiping away even more tears. "You are my mate," Azriel repeated softly. "And if I had dared to approach while your sister was still there, I probably would have wrung your sisterâs neck for what she said to you."
Sky felt a small, trembling smile begin to curl at her lips. He...he was her mate. She still couldn't believe it, but there it was. He was her mate, and he actually wanted her. Not only did he want her, but he was willing to...to defend her. To protect her. To stand up for her, even against her own sister. It was more than she could ever have asked for, more than she had ever hoped for herself. And the thought...the thought of that nearly made her cry all over again.
"It'sâŠItâs betâŠbetter to justâŠto just let ClaâŠClaire get it out of her sysâŠsystem and not interâŠinâŠinterrupt her," she said weakly. "She runs out of steam eventualâŠeventually."
"You shouldn't let her speak to you like that," Azriel said softly, his hand still resting gently against her cheek. "You shouldn't have to endure her venom."
She swallowed thickly, her throat tight. She knew that, she knew that she shouldn't let Claire speak to her in such a horrible way, that she should defend herself. But...but it had just never happened. She had always been too caught up in her own head, too afraid of...of doing something wrong. Of making everything worse instead of better. Because it always seemed to end up worse whenever she tried to stand up for herself.
But...but hearing him say it....hearing him tell her that she didn't have to put up with Claire's horrible words...it made something flutter in her chest. Something akin to hope. The thought that maybe....maybe she didn't need to listen to Claire's vicious words, that maybe...maybe she could stand up for herself after all.
"She's the faâŠfaâŠfavourite," she said weakly. "AlwaysâŠs wa..was. The pretâŠprettier one."
She sniffled, her stomach twisting at the thought of it. Claire had always been the preferred one, the one that everyone adored. And Skye had always been...well, the other one. The one that nobody wanted to be around, the one that everyone was constantly criticizing.
"She's bone deep ugly," Azriel snapped right back. "There is nothing attractive about her at all." She could just stare at him.
She blinked at him, almost in shock at his words. No one ever said things like that about Claire. Everyone was always so busy praising her beauty and her grace and her charm, but never a single one of them would ever say a single negative thing about her. But here was Azriel, outright saying that Claire wasn't attractive at all. It was...it was hard to even wrap her head around.
"You say thaâŠthat now," Sky said weakly.She swallowed thickly, her heart clenching at the very thought of him ever changing his mind. She knew....she knew that it was a very real possibility. He might think her worthy of him now, but as soon as he got to know her....how pathetic and broken and damaged she was. The thought of losing this....losing him...it made her stomach twist painfully.
She sniffled again, wiping tears away from her cheeks, her voice weak and broken. "You wonâŠwon't think tha..that..." she whispered. "When you...when you know me more. You'll think I'm pathâŠpathetic, too. Just like Claire does. Just like everyâŠeveryone does."
The words felt like acid in her throat, like a knife twisting through her heart. She knew that it was true, that he would think her pathetic, too. He was only being so kind to her now because he didn't really know her yet. Once he got to know her....once he saw all the broken pieces that made her up....he would realize just how unworthy she was of him.
"I think that you spent your whole life being talked to like that, and that no fucking accolade you ever got was something you take seriously." Azriel's words were harsh, and they made her come up short.Â
Sky had always thought that maybe...maybe the next time she achieved something her parents would be proud of her. That they would finally tell her that she had done well. But it had never happened. They were never proud of her accomplishments, no matter how good they were. She was never good enough for them, never anything enough for them. They always just...just told her that she needed to do better. That she had the capacity to do better. That it was her fault she hadn't.
And when she had published her first book...she hadn't wanted them to ruin that for her. So she had kept it a secret from them. Then the 2nd. And the 3rd. Book after book after book. People liked what she wrote. People bought her books. And still it felt like...it wasn't real.
No matter how many books she sold, it never felt like it counted. It never felt like she had actually achieved something. And no matter how much money she had in the bank, no matter how well she fed herself or kept a roof over her head, it just...it all felt like it was built on a fragile foundation. Like it could all come falling down around her at any moment, leaving her alone, cold, and broken.Â
Just like how this mating bond could seemingly break just at a snap of his fingers.
That feeling only got worse when she thought about the bond between her and Azriel. It was so new, so fragile, and she knew that he could break it if he wanted to. He didn't have to keep it, didn't have to stay by her side. He could just...just walk away and leave her in the dust. The thought made her stomach clench painfully, her eyes stinging with more tears.
"I don't want your sister. I want you," he told her softly. "You are my mate, Sky. Turn me down if you don't want me, but don't do it because you think that I don't want you. Because I do. I have never wanted anything in my life more."
His words made her heart sing, the warmth of them filling her chest to bursting. She...she didn't think she had ever been wanted in her entire life. Her parents had always been so quick to shove her aside, to tell her that she was worthless and a failure. But Azriel....he actually wanted her. He actually saw something worth keeping in her. It was more than she had ever dreamed of, the thought so impossibly perfect that it made her feel like she was going to burst into tears all over again.
Sky just stared at him, unsure of what to say, how to respond to such an open expression of adoration from him. She had never been good at accepting compliments or affection, her automatic response was always to push it away. But here was Azriel, telling her that he wanted her, that she was his mate. And how could she even think about pushing that away? How could she even consider rejecting the best thing that had ever happened to her? It was an impossible thought, one that left her feeling awed and speechless.
So instead of saying anything, Sky simply reached for him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly, burying her face in his neck. She felt safe here, in his arms, like nothing could hurt her as long as he was holding her close. And in that moment, she felt more than anything that this, this was where she belonged.Â
In his arms, with Azriel as her mate. It was everything she had ever wanted, and she was determined to hold onto it as tightly as she possibly could.
"I won't ev..ever turn you down," she whispered. "I was waiting for you for deâŠdecades."
"Decades? Try half a millennia," Azriel responded.
Azriel's words made her heart stutter in her chest, her stomach twisting with butterflies. He...he had waited for her for so long?
All that time, he had been waiting patiently for his mate, and that mate had been her? It was more than she could even wrap her head around. She had always thought that no one would ever want her, that she was destined to be alone, and yet here he was, telling her that he had been waiting for her for centuries.
So Sky just clung to him, her eyes stinging with a fresh wave of tears. She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe that she was actually so important to someone. That she had actually been....been wanted by someone.She felt so unbelievably lucky, and all she wanted to do was hold on to this feeling for as long as possible. This feeling of being loved and wanted and...and worthy.
She sat back, even when she wanted nothing else but to keep being held by him, managing a weak smile. Sky couldnât help but stare at him, couldnât help but take in the black hair and dark hazel eyes that glinted greenâŠand then her gaze snagged at the pair of massive, ferocious wings that sprouted from his back.
âYou are IlâŠIllyrian?â she asked, surprise colouring her voice.
She didn't know why she was so surprised. Maybe because because there werenât a lot of illyrians that lived in VelarisâŠmaybe because he really didnât seem to match the picture that most books she had read about them and their culture painted about them.Â
His wings were⊠magnificent. Azrielâs wings were so massive, so huge and powerful, and they seemed to span an impossible distance even when he had them folded carefulyl against his back.Â
âWhat gave it away?â He quipped, though the ere was a grimace on his face. âI am notâŠwhatever you may have heardâŠâ
She flinched slightly, feeling a small pang of guilt at her reaction to his wings. She knew that Illyrians had a reputation for being brutal and ruthless, but she hadn't meant to make Azriel feel uncomfortable or ashamed of his heritage.Â
"I am sorâŠsorry," she said sheepishly. âI wasâŠjust suâŠsurprised. There arenât a lot of IlâŠIllyrians around Velaris. I've never seen wings like yours before, jâŠjust read about them. They're beautiful."
She looked up at him, hoping that he could see the sincerity in her gaze. She didn't want him to feel like she was judging him based on his species, or that she was scared of him just because he was Illyrian or a lesser Fae.Â
âIâŠI got some River Nymph blood someâŠsomewhere down the line,â she told him.âItâs the family sâŠscandal.â
He chuckled at that, even as he mustered her.âYour eyes,â he realised aloud, and she nodded
She blushed slightly, her heart leaping at the thought of him noticing such a small detail about her. To know that he had taken the time to observe her eyes, to notice the faint turquoise hue that came from the bit of River Nymph blood flowing through her veins, regardless of how diluted it wasâŠIt made her feel like he truly saw her, not just the broken, damaged parts of her, but everything that made her who she was.
âGreâŠGreat grandma from my dads s..side,â she explained. âI was the only one who got the eyesâŠand the bendy bones.â She had always been seen as the odd one in her family. The outcast. Growing up, it had been hard to know where she fit in. Her parents had always been so focused on her brother and her sister, on their achievements and successes, and she had always felt like she was just...there. Just existing in the background, never quite good enough to be noticed or noticed for all the wrong reasons.
âTell me more,â Azriel requested softly, reaching out to hold her hand again.
âMore of what?â she wondered, blushing slightly.Â
âMore about you. I want to know everything.â
Her heart skipped a beat at his request. He...he wanted to know more about her? He actually wanted to listen to her, to hear what she had to say? The thought was almost enough to make her cry all over again. No one had ever asked her about herself before, no one had ever expressed an interest in her life or her thoughts. She had always been the one listening to others, never the one being listened toâŠespecially not with her stutter.Â
âI am not that interesâŠinteresting,â Sky said weakly.She had always been self-conscious about what she liked and didn't like, always been afraid that others would judge her for her preferences. Even the thought of telling Azriel what she enjoyed doing for fun made her feel nervous and unsure. She didn't want him to think she was boring or uninteresting, and yet...and yet she also wanted to be honest with him. She wanted him to know who she really was, even if that meant showing all her quirks and flaws.
âI write booâŠbooks for a..for a living,â Sky told him âRâŠRomance novels. And I have a cat named Hector thatâs âŠthatâs adorâŠadorable.â
Azriel grinned at her. âI canât wait to meet him.â She blushed at that thought.Â
She had always been nervous about talking to people, about opening up and letting them know who she was, but with Azriel...it felt different. It felt right.
âWhatâŠWhat do you do?â Sky wondered quietly.
âI work for the High Lord,â Azriel answered. âIâŠgather intelligence, I guess you could say.â
"Intelligence?" she asked curiously. She had never heard of anyone who did something like that before. It sounded like a dangerous job, one that required a lot of skill and training. Azriel nodded, his expression serious.Â
"Yes. I gather information about...about threats to our court. About the dangers that lurk in the world around us."
She shivered slightly at the thought of some of the dangers that Azriel had to face on a regular basis. On the things that he was confronted with every single wayâŠHe was doing what was necessary to protect their people from harm. SHe knew that it must took a lot of courage and determination to do a job like that, and she couldnât help but feel a wave of respect for him.
Sky took a deep breath, "Is it....is it dangerâŠdangerous? Gathering all thatâŠall that information?" She asked nervously. "IâŠI mean, doâŠdo you evâŠever...get hurt?"
Azriel's expression darkened, and he hesitated for a moment before answering. "Sometimes," he admitted. "There are always risks involved in what I do. I have been injured before, but I have also been very lucky. I have survived so far."
She shivered at the thought of him being hurt, of him being in danger. Sky couldn't bear the thought of him being harmed, of him being in pain. She wanted to protect him, to keep him safe from all the horrors of the world. It was a feeling she had never experienced before, this overwhelming need to protect someone else. But with Azriel, she felt it with every fiber of her being. She would do anything to keep him safe, to make sure he never got hurt again.
Sky took his hand in hers, gripping it tightly. "PleaseâŠPlease be careful," she whispered, her eyes full of fear and worry. "IâŠI don't want anâŠanything to happen to you." I don't want to lose you. The words were unspoken, but she knew that he could hear them in her voice, in the way her fingers trembled against his.
âI am careful,â he promised her seriously. âBesides, I am not exactly on my own,â he told her seriously.
She raised an eyebrow, curiosity getting the better of her. "YouâŠYou're not onâŠon your own?" she asked, surprised. "WhoâŠWho do you work with then?"
A moment laterâŠshe got her answer in the form of wreathing shadows, that welled up behind him.
For a moment Sky could just blink.Â
Then: âYou are a shadowsinger?!â She breathed in wonder.Â
She had read about it, of courseâŠwhen she had a whole phase of thinking how cool it would be if she had some kind of special powers. Sadly, there never had any manifested. No shadows for herâŠor mind reading either.Â
Azriel chuckled softly at her reaction. "Yes," he said simply. "It's a useful skill in my line of work."
She stared at him in awe. She had read stories of the fabled shadowsingers, of their ability to control shadows and use them to do their bidding. But she had never actually met one before. They wereâŠstupidly rare.â But clearly Azriel was one.Â
âDoâŠDo theyâŠtalk to you?â She asked him curiously.
Azriel nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. "Yes, they do," he said. "They have their own personality and quirks, and I can communicate with them in a way that no one else can. It's a unique connection, one that IâŠI have grown to cherish."
They were important to him.
So Sky did the only polite thing. âItâsâŠnice to meet you.â She greeted them, holding out a hand.Â
Azriel's shadows seemed to pause for a moment, as if taken aback by her greeting. Then they swirled around her, brushing against her skin in a gesture of introduction.Â
She couldn't help but smile at the sensation of the shadows brushing against her skin, their touch neither hot nor cold. They seemed almost sentient, like they had a mind of their own. It was both strange and fascinating at the same time. "Do you haveâŠa name?" she asked curiously.
Azriel chuckled. "No, they donât have a name. It's just...the shadows."
She nodded in understanding. They did seemâŠweirdly alive. And they were so responsive to Azriel's commands, so attuned to his needs and desires, that it was hard not to think of them as a separate entity in their own right.
But stillâŠas she wiggled her fingers and the shadows wove between them, she couldnât help but wonderâŠ
"What...what dâŠdo you wan..want from me?" Sky asked him softly. What did he want? What did he expect?Â
Azriel's expression softened, and he reached out to cup her cheek gently in his hand. "I want...I want whatever you are willing to give me," he said quietly. "I want to be there for you, to support you and protect you. I want to make you happy, to make you feel loved and cherished. And I want...I want to be your mate, if you'll have me."
Sky bit her lip, leaning into his touch. "IâŠI want that tâŠtoo," she admitted quietly. "And I really want a family one day. I want kids," she told him.Â
"I want that too," he said softly, his voice full of warmth and love. "I want everything with you, Sky. All of it."
She couldn't help but smile at that admission. Hearing him say that He wanted the same thing, hearing him say that He wanted to build a future with her...it was like a dream come true. And then Skylar Alden who had always overthought everything in her life, made this one decision: "Then take me home."
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Can you imagine pregnant medic reader feeling baby kick for the first time and not wanting to interrupt the boys in practice/at a game but knowing how much theyâd want to feel the baby?? (Can be with any of the boys or all of them LOL)
so cuttteeee
hockey!marauders x team medic!reader who interrupts practice [877 words]
CW: pregnancy, afab fem!reader, poly!marauders
The boys have been conflicted about you still working ever since they found out you were expecting.Â
On one hand, they liked having you close by; within their sights should you need them, and just getting to enjoy the pregnancy with you even when they were traveling for away games.
On the other hand, they hated that you spent so much of your job on your feet, they were extremely nervous having you so close to the action of the game, and donât even get them started when you have to step out onto the ice.Â
But you were determined to work for as long as you possibly could, and you couldnât deny that part of you enjoyed getting to spend as much time as possible with your boyfriends during this very exciting time of your lives.
Were there times you wondered if you wouldnât perhaps benefit from a little space from them? Sure. Especially when James tried to sit in on all of your appointments with the guys to ensure you werenât straining yourself, or when Sirius stood directly in your line of sight at every game in an attempt to âsave you from the tomfoolery, babeâ, or when Remus shoved anyone who tried to help you out onto the ice so he could chaperone you himself.
But there were moments - like this - that found you so grateful to have them close by.Â
âYou okay, mama?â Coach Moody asked, though he didnât bother moving his gaze from the ice where head coach Albus was standing with the boys for practice. âYou seem jumpy.âÂ
You hummed in agreement as you placed a hand on your stomach; gently pushing and prodding what felt like a hard part of a little body, wondering if you were only imagining it.Â
Youâd become aware that you werenât simply growing at about eighteen weeks into your pregnancy when you felt the baby move for the first time. It was like you remembered that your pants were shrinking for an actual reason. But any movement on the baby's part could only be felt internally.
Today, however-
âOh.â You whispered, and Moody wrenched his eyes from the ice to grab your elbow.
âDoc? Are you okay?âÂ
âYes, yes. Sorry.â You let out with a laugh; looking to the ice to ensure the boys couldnât see you being fussed over even though you sort of wanted to call them over here yourself.Â
âWhat do you need?â Moody gruffed, though he kept his voice low as if knowing any attention directed your way would result in cacophony from nearly half the team.
âNo, nothing. Sorry Coach.â You laughed. âI justâŠI think, well, the babyâs kicking.âÂ
Moody furrowed his eyes at you as he examined your face; one blue eye piercing and intuitive, the other glass eye which saw the iris and pupil replaced by the Gryffindor Lionâs logo seemed just as knowing.
âFirst time?âÂ
âFirst time I can feel it with my hand, yeah.âÂ
He looked you over one last time, cautiously removing his hand from your elbow and looking out onto the ice before blowing his whistle.Â
âGather âround.â He barked, and though Albus looked confused, he allowed the team to head to the bench.Â
âDid ya miss us, Moody?â Sirius sing-songed as he made his way over, James laughing and Remus rolling his eyes in response.Â
âThe only time I get any peace is when the lot of you fuck off.â Moody barked back, but his face stayed soft. âYour babyâs kicking.âÂ
Siriusâ teasing smirk fell quickly as he whipped his head to you, James nearly fell over in his haste to make it to you and Remus quickly skated around the clump of bodies to join him; all three of them leaning against the boards in front of you.
âYou didnât have to stop practice for thisâŠâ You chided Moody gently, but it seemed that Sirus, James, and Remus werenât the only oneâs excited about it.Â
âOh my god! Can I feel!?â Fenwick called, earning him an elbow in the side from Remus.Â
âNot before us? What the fuckâŠâ Sirius mumbled, keeping his eyes on your stomach as if he could see it.Â
âWell hurry up then! Youâve got a line behind you.â Grönvall hollered then.
âGoalie first; is rule.â Krum muttered as he placed himself in front of both Fenwick and Grönvall, though politely stayed behind the three boys who all tucked one glove under their opposite arm and held their hands out to you.Â
The practice arena fell quiet as the entire team held their breath, and you felt sort of horrified at the sudden pressure to perform.
âThis will be so embarrassing if it doesnât happen again.â You admitted quietly, suddenly very embarrassed to have interrupted practice.
Remus made a humming sound in dissent as he brushed his thumb over your belly, and then it happened.
âHoly shit!â James cheered, Siriusâ head snapping up to beam a smile at you.
âDid you feel that!?â Sirius asked no one in particular, but you, James, and Remus all confirmed that you did.
âOkay great! Next!â Dearborn called from behind Grönvall, and thatâs how you ended up spending the rest of the practice with various hands on your stomach at any given moment.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#james potter x reader#james potter x you#the marauders#marauders x reader#poly marauders x reader#poly marauders x you#marauders#pregnancy trope#pregnancy fic#pregnant!reader#ellecdc fics#nhl au#hockey au
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i have noticed a small pattern of elves being on my latest fictional character obsessions and HEAR ME OUT!!
elf who has lived for hundreds upon thousands of years, who had experienced many of the things the world has to offer. sadness of bidding hundreds of farewells to the beauty of life and alliance of different races
elf who even after all his years of living still yet to find a love for himself. regal and seemingly detached to the concepts of relationships elves may be, even they get lonely. some nights feeling a little bit too long, a little bit too cold as they add another layer of blanket over themselves or reaching over to hug one of his puffy pillows like how he would hug his future lover. the coldness of being immortal seeping into his bones and making him shiver despite elves being above the concept of getting sick or feeling the cold temperatures
elf who runs into you by some chance meeting. maybe you were walking in the territory of elves without knowing it, maybe he purposely goes to human residences and towns, seeking adventure, excitement and change of pace. who immediately is enamored by you just by your smile that you flash his way, a kind one, a gentle one, to a nearby passenger. who falls in love with the callouses of your hand, the freckles, the small scars, the little bits of imperfection that marked you as clearly human, very much mortal, very much brittle but still with your own strength that he hasnât felt before
elf bf who starts to court you the moment he realizes that you werenât seeing anyone, bringing small gifts, exchanging knowledge, singing you soft ancient lullabies that no other mortal has ever heard before. maybe he finds himself writing a poem about you one day, describing your looks, your feelings, your everyday actions that you may see as mundane but ones he sees as just as courageous and beautiful in their own ways
elf bf who has never seen human flesh or bare skin before, finding the rippling biceps and toned legs of yours to be⊠curious. a tentative finger touching the muscles here and there, stopping you mid work as he inquires about them in a soft tone. elves of course were magical beings, blessed with magic and eternity and had no need to develop visible physical muscles till the point they become buff or beefy to some extent all due to their magic and ancient powers. the tips of his pointy ear twitching softly, eyes wide in wonder as you explain that contrary to his kin, your own develop muscles if they are put to work in physically demanding job for enough time
elf bf who over time, finds himself obsessively scribbling down any sort of new information about human anatomy on a journal, always asking you new things as he finds himself able to learn more despite having been alive for hundreds upon thousands of years. tracing the old faded scars on your body with the tip of his finger, counting the freckles, kissing the stretch marks as they were all you. regardless of how you see it, to him it was all you, together and healthy. you were alive even if you may have battle scars and he always makes sure to thank the stars as it was thanks to the tribulations you have conquered that you two were here now. staring eye to eye, touching your foreheads together as you whisper about mundane things
elf bf who one day sees you cut down a tree, cut a log off or prepare firewood and finds that he was imagining the bulge of your muscles against himself. big arms caging him in a bear hug, legs to support him and strong back that he could sink his nails into as he moans under youâ hold. since when has his thoughts of you turned⊠impure? since when has he become turned on? sitting there on one of the logs with a painful strain against his pants as he swallowed the saliva that gathered in his jaw down, tearing his gaze away. no no, he really shouldnât think of you as such, you were still in courting phase after all and elves were a race that took their romances and courting extremely important
yet regardless of his kinâs customs and traditions, your pretty elf bf couldnât help but continue to stare. his gaze constantly seeking your figure out, seeing you just go through the motions of every life peacefully while he gets pathetically turned on by your actions as if he was still but a fledgling who learned of a kiss. chopping down trees for firewood, maybe you would work in front of a fire or heat for too long and get sweaty, removing one of the overtunics. maybe youâre just simply dragging a bucket full of water from the well, cranking the pulley as the muscles on your arms and back strained
elf bf who finds himself extremely aroused as his mind wanders to the gutters as he just shamelessly stares at your working form. oh, to feel those calloused hands touch his colder skin, palms smoothening over his creamy skin, and down his chest, his stomach and over his bulge. maybe you would tease the poor thing, tease him of how quick he is to get aroused, the pre of his half-hard cock weeping through his underwear and pants like he was some sore pathetic loser. a little virgin. bully him about being unable to use his cock, make him whine at your mean words as his hips weakly buckle under your exploratory hands
elf bf who couldnât help but imagine the usual sweetness of your attitude gone, replaced by one that was just a tad bit meaner as you pushes his face down into the pillows of your bed, force his hands to stretch open his puckering hole for you to fuck senselessly. imagining you whispering all sorts of filth into his twitching ears, promising to breed him full, to use him to your heartâs content all night long as he whines and squeals like a little lamb caught in the nest of a hungry wolf. who couldnât swallow down the quiet whimper coming from his throat as he imagined your hand grasping at his long locks, fisting it tightly as you yank him back, forcing him to arch his back and push the tip of your cock to bruise his guts even more
elf bf who waves off your worry when you had managed to hear the embarrassing noise that slipped past his lips, saying that he was having a bit of a sore throat. gods, he would love to actually whimper from having a sore throat of getting his mouth plowed all day by your fat cock head forcing his jaws wiiideee open
elf bf who couldnât help but get a little needy in his kisses since then. hands that touched your muscles with curiosity now running over your skin as if trying to feebly seduce you. dropping things to the ground a bit too many times, following you close behind even as you told him that some of the work you needed to do required space and for him to be away for his own safety. who straddles your lap all snug, pushing his chest flush against your own as your simply daily evening kisses after dinner becomes a bit too heated. he definitely had little to no experience with the way his tongue kept licking at your lips meagerly, long fingers curling over your shoulders tightly while his bucking hips on your lap as he starts to get hard again
elf bf who has finally had enough of just his meager imaginations, tugging on the strings of your white tunic with shaky hands as he rambles about touching you, you touching him, feeling him, using him â anything dammit! use those hands of yours on him!
elf bf who soon realizes that he had perhaps bitten off more than he could chew when your hands grip at his hips, dragging his clothed cock against your thigh that had him whining like a cat in heat. meagerly, he tries to replicate what you just made him do, dragging his hips back and forth on your thigh but he all but just looks like an inexperienced bunny. which he probably was judging by the things he spoke to you about himself
elf bf who finds so much pleasure in simply grinding against your thigh for now, the precum of his now hard cock weeping through his pants, staining it into a darker color. all cute and red in the face that spread to his pointy ears, cute high pitched whines falling from his chewed up pink lips. a cute, surprised âa-aahnâĄïž??â echoing in the room as you pull his eager body against your own. your chest to his back, hands loosely draped over the hip bone of his
elf bf who lets out the most embarrassing high pitched squeals when your hands travel up his body under his clothes, traveling more and more until teasing at his nipples. rolling your fingertips against the soft areola, squeezing and fondling his pecks as if they were breasts. who jolts in place when you pinch at the hardened buds, tugging at them to test the waters as he arches his back off of your chest, a filthy mewl falling as if he was being fucked stupid already
elf bf who blubbers out uncharacteristic words of âs-shensiitiivghâĄïž n-no, donât pinch the-eeengkâĄïžâĄïž!â his pleads of your rough hands not torturing his sensitive nipples being replaced with an open mouthed wail when you place a kiss to the pointy tip of his ear. his ears were so sensitive! you knew that and now you were just being downright mean to him as you whisper filth into his ears of acting like a cooped up virgin for merely getting his chest played with. he wasnât! he was way older than you! slurring out âhow c-could you be sooh m-meanngkâŠâĄïž?â as you lick a slow stripe up the pointy helix
elf bf who bucks his hips on your thigh, trying to bounce, trying to move away but ending up whining as his clothed cock grazes against your hardened muscles again. his cute nipples being tortured and groped by your hands, the delicate helix of his ears being assaulted by your wet kisses and licks. any time your hot breath spoke into his ears of how he was such a precious little thing, just like a bunny in heat, he would try to wiggle away. shaking his head with a weak sniffle, his mind churning into a mush as all he could do was to pathetically fuck his cock into your thigh, letting out a soft mewl everytime you buck your leg up to meet his shy excuse of thrusts, jumping in place
elf bf whose minds and body starts to feel weird. the room feeling stifling and your touch making his own skin heat up too much. who tries to tell you that he was feeling âoddâ and concerned, yet only to harshly thrust his hips back into your own arousal. eyes widening, a shudder running down his spine at the feeling. still clothed and hidden like his own but good grief, it just felt⊠so huge since he was sure your human dick couldnât possibly be much bigger than his own. but no, it got him gulping down the saliva in his mouth
elf bf who bounces himself experimentally onto your own hardened, covered dick, feeling his balls brush against where he guesses is the tip of your strap. his earlier cute whines growing in volume as your torture of his sensitive spots grow worse, groping, squeezing, calling him too eager to get fucked, making him dumb and airheaded. the constant tugs to his chest, the words you spat into his mind so lovingly and the small actions of your hips thrusting up to meet his own weaker excuse of grinding
elf bf whoâs voice grow more and more breathier, who finally loses it as he throws himself back against your chest, his head on your shoulder as he let out a wail of âh-hoowt!! t-too ahggâĄïž haah anhg t-too hoounwt...â„ïž!â as he cums into his pants, dirtying the material as a single glob or two of his sweet transparent arousal oozes out through the linen. the dark patch growing into a considerable size, his body racked with twitches and jolts as he cums untouched on your lap. precious little thing getting drunk on the feeling of sex and physical pleasure so much till the point he disregards all of his traditions, bending himself over onto the bed, his hand reaching back to tug you forward by the belt with a desperate whine and a cute blown wide pupils and twitching earsâĄïž
âš meludir, lindir, legolas, maglor, mairon + whoever you like
#nobu.writes#dom reader#sub!character#sub character#lotr x you#lotr x y/n#lotr x reader#sub lotr#lord of the rings x you#lord of the rings x y/n#lord of the rings x reader#sub the hobbit#the hobbit x y/n#the hobbit x you#the hobbit x reader#silmarillion x reader#silmarillion#elf x reader#nobu.brainrots#legolas x reader#lindir x reader#maglor x reader#mairon x reader#meludir x reader#monster fucker
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need a rafe fic please where reader is part of the pogues, her and rafe have been on and off for forever obviously due to everything heâs done but deep down heâs so down bad for reader and maybe sheâs pregnant instead of sarah and he doesnât find out until morocco because the pogues are hovering over her idk angst fluff whatever you feel!!!
Two lines â Rafe Cameron
Summary : Fem!Reader is pregnant with Rafeâs baby, but he doesn't know until pope accidentally mentions her baby (season 4 ep 10 spoilers!! â ïž)
Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader
Warnings : mentions of vomiting & language (english is not my first language)
A/N : as requested đ hope u like it anon!
Two lines, and the father was long gone, off doing god knows what. Rafe was the last guy I'd hooked up with, and even after we broke up, we somehow kept finding our way back to each other, especially after the Kildare Enduro. He knew no one else could satisfy me the way he did, and so it became this endless cycle, break up, hook up, make up. What Rafe didnât know was that I was pregnant. I hadnât planned on telling him, at least not until we made up.
There I was, back on Rafeâs boat with my friends, setting off to Morocco in search of the Blue Crown and Chandler Groff. My friends had locked Rafe up, tying him up in a small room, just in case. We all knew better than to trust Rafe Cameron, not after everything heâd done.
I walked into the dimly lit room, carrying a tray with a glass of water, a plate of food, and a couple of aspirin for his black eye. The sight of him, bruised, tugged at something deep inside me.
âHere,â I murmured, setting the tray down on the table beside him. âI brought some aspirin, just in case youâre feeling dizzy or somethingâŠâ
He snorted, cutting me off. âWhat? Youâre just gonna throw it in my mouth like Iâm a fuckin' seal?â He wasnât exactly wrong, but his sharp tone made me bristle. âNobody trusts you, Rafe,â I replied, my voice steady. âNot after what you did.â
His jaw tightened, and a flash of anger sparked in his eyes. âI saved your asses!â he shot back, his face flushing with frustration. âAnd not even a thank you was said.â
I took a slow breath, steadying myself. âI know, Rafe. I know,â I said softly. âThank you, really.â I offered him a small, sincere smile.
He looked at me for a moment, his gaze softening just slightly. âYou trust me, right?â he asked, his voice quieter, a bit more vulnerable. I bit down on my lip, feeling the pull he always seemed to have on me.
âYeah,â I admitted, almost reluctantly. God, he knew exactly how to get to me.
He looked at the ropes binding his wrists and nodded toward them. âThen untie me. Get this shit off me.â
I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt but holding my ground. âI canât. Iâm sorry.â I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my resolve. âJust⊠eat the food. We wouldnât want you dying in here.â With that, I turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind me, leaving me with a sigh that I didnât even realize Iâd been holding back.
As I stepped out of the room, I was met by Kiaraâs anxious expression, her arms folded tightly as she waited. The moment she saw me, her face softened slightly, though worry still flickered in her eyes.
"Howâd it go?" she asked quietly, as if afraid to hear the answer.
I shrugged, trying to mask the mixture of emotions stirring inside me. "Same old Rafe," I replied, keeping my tone light, but my gaze drifted, unable to meet hers directly.
Kiara studied me for a moment before speaking again. "Soo... did you tell him?"
I frowned, genuinely puzzled. "Tell him what?"
She raised an eyebrow, giving me a pointed look. "That youâre pregnant, with his child."
Oh, right. That one.
I swallowed, feeling a sudden knot in my stomach. "Uhâno, not yet," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I just⊠I donât know how heâd react." My hands found each other, my fingers nervously fidgeting as I tried to imagine how that conversation would even go. "What if he doesnât want to keep the baby?"
Kiara sighed softly and reached out, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Her warmth grounded me, pulling me back from my spiraling thoughts. "Look," she said firmly, her gaze locking onto mine. "You have us. Weâll help you through every single part of this. Thatâs what friends are for, right?"
I looked at her, the tension in my chest easing slightly. Her words held a strength that I so desperately needed. "Yeah," I whispered, a small smile breaking through my worry. "Thank you, Kie."
She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and for a moment, the uncertainty and fear faded. In her embrace, I felt a flicker of hopeâa reminder that I wouldnât have to face this alone.
After battling fierce winds and waves, we finally arrived in Essaouira. The coastal city spread before us, its whitewashed buildings with blue shutters gleaming under softened storm light. Narrow streets twisted through the medina, lined with shops selling handmade crafts and drenched in a timeless, rustic charm.
The Atlantic crashed against the ancient medina walls, sturdy and weathered, while blue fishing boats bobbed in the harborâjust like the skiffs in the Outer Banks. The salty air and easy warmth of the locals, the slow rhythm of the sea, and the hum of daily life brought back memories of home, as if Essaouira was a Moroccan echo of the Outer Banks.
We continued to wander through the narrow streets of Essaouira, the sound of bustling market vendors and the distant call of seagulls filling the air. John B and Sarah led the way, their steps light and carefree, like they had no care in the world. Following behind them was Cleo, Pope, and Kiara, their conversations flowing easily as they walked, with JJ and I bringing up the rear. But it was Rafe who trailed behind, his presence almost ghostlike, like a lost puppy, following silently in our wake.
As we strolled through the maze of alleyways, I felt a sudden, sharp wave of nausea hit me. It was sudden, and intense, as if something in my stomach was threatening to rise up. I let out a soft huff, pressing my hand to my stomach, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling of sickness.
JJ, who had been walking beside me, must've noticed the change in my posture because he looked at me with concern. "Y/N?" he called, his voice laced with worry.
"Oh god," I muttered under my breath, the nausea worsening, my head spinning.
"What's wrong? You okay?" JJ asked, his voice low, concern evident on his face.
I shook my head, barely able to focus on him. "No... I need to sit," I said, my voice strained. I felt like I was going to collapse if I didnât stop moving.
JJ quickly guided me to a pile of carpets that were stacked outside a shop. The soft fabric felt like a relief under me as I sat down, trying to steady my breathing. The rest of the group quickly noticed, and soon I was surrounded by their concerned faces. Kiara dropped to her knees in front of me, her eyes searching mine, her hand resting on my knee in a comforting gesture.
"What's up? What are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with genuine concern.
"I'm really nauseous," I managed to answer, my hand covering my mouth, just in case. I didnât trust myself to hold it down any longer.
Cleo, who had been standing off to the side, stepped forward, her arms crossed over her chest. "She probably needs food. Itâs been like two days..or what?" she said, her voice tinged with practicality.
"Yeah, the babyâs probably hungry too," Pope added, offering a casual shrug, as if it was just an obvious conclusion.
I froze, my stomach twisting. The mention of "the baby" caught me off guard, and suddenly, all eyes turned to me. Rafe, who had been hanging back, still distant, looked like he was suddenly paying attention. His gaze shifted from me to Pope and then back to me, his brow furrowing.
"What baby?" Rafe asked, his voice sharp, as if something about the situation didn't sit right with him.
Oh god, here we go.
Pope went silent, and I could feel the tension rise in the air, thickening around us. I glanced up at Rafe, who was now standing a few feet away, looking at me with an expression that was hard to read. His eyes narrowed as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.
"No, seriously, what baby?" he repeated, his voice insistent, even stern now.
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. There was no easy way to say it, but it had to be said. "Iâm pregnant, Rafe," I said quietly, locking eyes with him. "With your baby."
The words hung in the air between us, like they were too heavy to carry. For a long moment, Rafe didnât say anything. He just stood there, silent, his expression unreadable. The others were watching him closely, waiting for a reaction, but he remained eerily still.
I could feel the tension growing, an awkwardness settling in the space around us, as if everything had just shifted. My hands were shaking slightly, not from the nausea anymore, but from the weight of what had just been revealed. And Rafe, he was just staring at me, his mouth slightly parted but no words coming out.
"Go get her something to eat," Rafe suddenly snapped, his voice cutting through the tension that still hung thick in the air.
Without another word, he dug through his small waist bag, the leather creaking under his movements. I wasnât sure what he was looking for, but then, with a small grunt of satisfaction, he pulled out a wad of cashâseveral bills, all stacked neatly together. As he unfolded them, I saw that he had about $400 in his hand, a small fortune for street vendors in Essaouira.
"Wait what?" JJâs voice broke the moment of disbelief. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "They donât take dollars, you idiotâ"
"I said go," Rafe interrupted sharply, his tone hardening. There was no room for argument, no sign of hesitation in his voice. It was almost as if he was trying to regain some control over the situation, and in doing so, he completely dismissed JJâs protests. His words were a command, not a suggestion.
The rest of us exchanged uneasy glances, the shift in Rafeâs demeanor catching everyone off guard. But without further discussion, John B, Sarah, Cleo, Pope, and Kiara reluctantly turned to start walking back toward the market, their steps unsure but obedient. JJ hesitated for a moment, clearly frustrated by Rafeâs abruptness, but eventually followed along as well.
Rafeâs eyes lingered on me for a second, his expression unreadable. He stood still for a moment longer, his gaze momentarily drifting over to the group before returning to me. He didnât say anything else. His words had been clear, and I could tell that something about the situation had shifted for him.
"I donât care whether you want the baby or not, but Iâm keeping them," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. The truth was, I had made up my mind. I had to keep the baby, and nothing anyone said or did would change that. Not even Rafe.
Rafeâs eyes widened at my declaration, and for a moment, he just stood there, staring at me, his face unreadable. Then, he kneeled down, and he let out a sharp breath. "Hey, hey, heyâwho said I donât want to keep the baby?" His voice was calm, but there was an underlying tension to it, as if my words had hit a nerve.
I blinked, caught off guard by his response. The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and I wasnât sure what to say next. His eyes were fixed on me now, intense, searching. It felt like something was shifting between us, and I couldnât quite wrap my head around it.
"Weâll take care of them," Rafe continued, his tone softening just a fraction. "Iâll be with you throughout the whole journey, Y/N. Youâre not doing this alone." His voice held a kind of resolve, as if he had already decided, as if he was offering something that felt almost too good to be true.
For a split second, it felt like the world around me had stopped moving. The noise from the market faded into the background, and all I could hear was the steady beat of my own heart. The words he said felt surreal, like they were echoing in my head. "Iâll be with you, 'aight?"
I blinked again, almost feeling like I was in a dream, like I had slipped into some alternate reality where everything suddenly made sense. But when I looked at Rafe, his gaze never wavering from mine, I felt a wave of disbelief wash over me. It felt like a nap dream, a momentary illusion that would disappear when I woke up.
"What?" I said, my voice coming out in a whisper of disbelief. "Sorryâ"
Rafe seemed unbothered by my shock. He placed his hands on my knees, his movements deliberate. "You heard me, Y/N." His words were firm, and there was no mistaking the sincerity in them.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was thick with unspoken thoughts, and I could feel the weight of what he had just said settle in my chest. It was almost too much to process. I had always expected Rafe to pull away, to make this harder for me. But here he was, standing before me with something I hadnât expected, a promise. A promise to be there. A promise to face this together.
My mind spun, trying to make sense of it. I glanced away for a moment, as if hoping the world would shift and reveal the truth. But when I looked back at him, his expression hadnât changed. He was still looking at me with those steady, unwavering eyes.
"Youâre serious," I murmured more to myself than to him.
Rafe didnât flinch. "Yeah," he said simply, as if there was nothing more to discuss, as if the decision had already been made. "Iâll be there for you. For us."
For the first time, I didnât know what to say. My heart was still racing, but for a different reason now. There was a part of me that wanted to believe him, to hold on to this moment, to trust that things might actually be okay. But there was also a part of me that was terrified of what this all meant, of how my life was about to change in ways I couldnât predict.
I stared at him in utter disbelief, barely able to process the reality unfolding before me. It felt like some kind of miracle. My vision began to blur as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, the emotions welling up and spilling over, probably caused by the pregnancy hormones, but I couldnât stop them. I tried to blink them away, but they only gathered faster, until a warm tear rolled down my cheek.
Rafeâs expression softened when he noticed, his gaze never leaving mine. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close in a way that felt so natural, so steady. He didnât hesitate for a second, and his embrace was warm, reassuring, holding me together when I felt like I was on the edge of falling apart, and God, it felt good to be back in his arms.
His hand rubbed gentle circles on my back as he murmured, âWeâre gonna be parents.â His voice was soft, filled with awe and disbelief, as if he was speaking the words for the first time and couldnât quite believe them either.
I nodded against his chest, clutching onto him as tightly as I could. The weight of his words settled over us, the reality of what lay ahead, and as much as I wanted to be brave, I couldnât shake the fear that started to consume my mind. I let out a shaky breath, my voice coming out in a whisper, âIâm scared, Rafe.â The words felt small, vulnerable, but they were the truth.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his hands gently cupping my face as his thumbs brushed away the stray tears still slipping down my cheeks. âI know,â he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. âI am scared too.â There was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that mirrored my own, a glimmer of uncertainty about the unknown future that lay ahead.
âBut weâre in this together,â he continued, his voice growing stronger, as if he was convincing himself as much as he was reassuring me. âI donât have all the answers, and I donât know whatâs coming⊠but Iâm not going anywhere.â He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, closing the space between us. âIâll be there every step of the way.â
His words washed over me, filling some hollow place I hadnât realized was empty. In that moment, his presence felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of my fears, giving me a glimpse of something that felt almost like hope. The future was terrifying, yes, but it felt a little less daunting with him by my side.
I looked up at him, my voice steadying as I replied, âIâm glad itâs you.â And as I said the words, I realized just how much I meant them.
He offered me a small, crooked smile, a warmth in his eyes that I hadnât seen before. âWeâre gonna figure this out together,â he promised. âOne step at a time.â
I nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. And in that moment, held in his arms, I felt a little less afraid.
Suddenly, as if on cue, the rest of the group appeared, each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. It was almost comical, watching them return all at once, each of them holding something different, John B with a handful of pita bread, Cleo balancing a bowl of yogurt, JJ carrying bottled water, and Sarah clutching a small bag of fruit, including a shiny red apple that she immediately extended toward me.
âHere,â Sarah said softly, her face easing with relief as she offered the apple. I took it gratefully, feeling the cool skin of the fruit in my hand, and took a tentative bite. The crisp, sweet flavor flooded my senses, soothing the nausea that had been twisting in my stomach. They watched with eager anticipation, and as they saw me begin to nibble, their worried expressions started to relax.
âFeeling better now?â Pope asked, his voice gentle but laced with concern as he studied my face.
I swallowed another bite and nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. âYeah, yeah⊠thank you,â I replied, glancing at each of them.
They exchanged glances, visibly relieved, and a sense of warmth spread through me as I looked around at their familiar faces, each one showing their own brand of care. I realized then just how much Iâd come to rely on them, not just as friends, but as family. I felt a comforting wave of gratitude for each of them, knowing theyâd been there for me without question, supporting me in ways I hadnât even thought possible.
As I took another sip of water, Rafe moved a little closer to me, his hand resting gently on my thigh. His touch was subtle, but the gesture was enough to let me know he was still there, holding his promise to stay by my side. There was something calming in his presence now, something steadying that I hadnât noticed before.
The others began chatting among themselves, sharing their own stories of haggling with the vendors, laughing about whoâd paid the most for what theyâd brought. They were giving Rafe and me a moment, I realized, a chance to talk without the poguesâ attention fixed on us.
Rafe leaned down slightly, his face level with mine, his voice low and steady. âYou really okay?â he asked, his hand still warm on my thigh.
I took a deep breath, the initial dizziness and nausea fading, leaving behind a feeling of clarity I hadnât expected. âYeah, I think so." I paused, looking up into his eyes.
He smiled, a soft, almost vulnerable expression, and for a moment, he seemed like a different Rafeâone who wasnât weighed down by pride or bravado. âThat's goodâ His voice was filled with a sincerity that softened something inside me. "Don't want our little one and her mommy to starve, do we?" He smiled making me let out a low chuckle.
In this quiet moment, I knew, deep down, that I wouldnât want anyone else to be the father of my child. Everything just felt right. Despite all the chaos, the ups and downs, there was a steady comfort in knowing me and Rafe would face it together.
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UNMATCHED
A/N: it's been like 6 months since i last posted something and honestly, i haven't even written anything, things are very shitty these days but i felt the motivation to write this quickly after watching 'tell me lies' and 'rivals' these past weeks so here we go! if student-prof type of fics are not your thing then don't read it
WORD COUNT: 2.6k
WARNING: age gap, student-professor relationship
SUMMARY:Â Harry is very strict about staying away from students as a young and handsome professor, but there is one person he can't get out of his head and a Christmas party brings an unexpected turn.
MASTERLISTÂ |Â SUPPORT ME!
Harry hates these type of parties, mostly because he canât imagine inviting dozens of students into his home, his private space, have the roam around and spend an entire evening with them, talking and pretending like they arenât just trying to get a better grade at the end of the semester with their too friendly behavior. Or, in his case, some girls try to push the boundaries and flirt with him, hoping to hook up with him.Â
He is not stupid. He has heard students whisper about him several times, he notices the heart eyes when he is talking in class and he has gotten several phone numbers on papers since he started his PHD studies and started teaching last year. His friends teased him about being the heartthrob of the faculty, but he didnât think it would actually happen and to this extent. To avoid any possible scandals, not that he planned to make any, he has put on quite a rigid mask towards the students to scare them off from even trying, though that hasnât stopped some of them from wanting to shoot their shot.Â
He wouldnât have come to this party, he would rather be home and continue his research thatâs still not even close to being done, but Professor Bradford, or Stella as she requests Harry to call her, is the only person he gets along with in the faculty. She is 18 years older than Harry, but still younger than the rest of the old men who have been teaching here since probably before the declaration of independence was signed. Those men are the reason younger people donât like classic literature anymore, with their outdated ways of teaching and unwillingness to bring something modern into their lectures they are scaring the new generations away. But not Stella. She is one of the reasons Harry went into his PHD and now he gets to work with her. He couldnât just reject her invitation for her annual Christmas Party she holds for her students and some colleagues.Â
Now he is standing by the wall, drinking mulled wine and just gritting his teeth, trying to calculate how early is too early to leave. A couple of girls have already tried to chat him up, they like to circle him, leave him almost no room to escape and then make him talk about school stuff, but then they slyly bring up personal things, hoping to break his usual character, but he sees through them always.Â
Harryâs best friend, Niall always teases him that he should just give in and have fun with one of them. His morals are a lot looser than Harryâs, thatâs for sure.Â
Just as he is about to look for the bathroom, not to use it but to hide for a bit, another group of girls spots him and he can already feel his skin crawling as they approach him from down the hallway. He is quick to assess the situation, but he realizes he has no chance of fleeing before they reach him.Â
âProfesor! So good to see you here!âÂ
And here we go.Â
It goes the same, they are extremely nice and inquiring about his plans for the next semester and then suddenly they are talking about summer and Harry knows they are moments away from asking what heâll be doing once the school year is over. One of the girls is talking about going to Italy on a yacht and the others chime in with their own ridiculously over the top plans while Harry is avoiding to even look at them, his eyes roam around the other guests.Â
Thatâs when he sees her.Â
Just down the hall he can peek into the kitchen and there she is, with a boy Harry assumes to be her boyfriend. Heâs seen them around campus the past few weeks, he even waited for her after Harryâs class and saw them walk away together as he fought the way his stomach churned every time.Â
Since the moment she walked into his class at the beginning of the semester Harry has been feeling like he is losing his mind. Whether it be the way she laughs with her friends before class or focuses with undivided attention as Harry explains something by the board, or says hello every time she passes him in the cafeteria, Harry canât stop thinking about her for days after even though he knows such feelings should be banned from his mind when it comes to a student. Every time he catches himself thinking about her he wants to throw himself out the window, but he still canât fight it. Thereâs something in her that draws him in and swallows him whole and itâs not just the looks. Unlike a lot of students who take his classes for easy credits or to drool after him, she is there to learn as much as she can and sheâs had the most brilliant thoughts on certain subjects Harry has ever encountered, making him almost jealous he wasnât the one to think about them.Â
She is⊠unmatched. And forbidden, but impossible to ignore. Sheâs been his vice for months.
From where he stands it appears she is having a fight with said boyfriend, her always cheerful expression is now rather upset and confused while the boy seems to be over the conversation, almost irritated by her, dismissed. Harry tries to appear not too obvious about watching them, but he is also way too fixated on her to ignore whatâs happening just down the hallway.Â
He glances away just for a few seconds, but the next time he looks back he sees the boy stomping away, irritated, while she is left there, pulling on her coat before disappearing through the backdoor, swallowed by the darkness of the unlit back terrace.Â
And before Harry could stop himself, he is already moving.
âExcuse me girl,â he mumbles disorientedly as he slips out of the small circle.Â
He places his glass to a nearby table and then grabs his own coat from the wardrobe in the hallway before making his way outside. After her.Â
The moment he steps out into the cold a short sense of realization washes over him that he definitely shouldnât be here, that he is crossing a line, but then another voice in his head tunes it out, convincing him that he is just making sure she is okay and thereâs nothing wrong with that.Â
Stopping by the door his gaze rakes through the terrace, but he doesnât see her, until she spots her slouched form sitting on the bottom of the stairs leading out to the lawn. He hears her sniffling, but she hasnât acknowledged his presence yet, if she noticed it at all. Thereâs a couple of moments of hesitation on his end, he can hear the rational side of him screaming somewhere in the back of his mind, telling him to turn around and just walk back inside, yet he still finds himself moving towards him and then that voice is silenced.Â
âEverything alright?â Harry asks from the top of the stairs, but he startles her so much that she jumps to her feet and backs away a few feet. Thatâs when he sees her tearful eyes and red nose.Â
âS-Sorry, I donâtââ
âHey, itâs all good. You didnât do anything wrong. Just checking in.â
She squints her eyes at him and thatâs when he realizes she must not even see his face since the light is coming right behind him. So he walks down the stairs and then finally his face is lit and realization settles in her eyes.Â
âOh, Professor Styles. Hi.â
âHello Y/N. Are you okay?â he asks again, to which she just chuckles bitterly.Â
He canât miss that even with tears running down her cheeks and her eyelashes stuck together, she looks so fucking beautiful it baffles him. He has to fight the urge to reach out and touch her tear-soaked cheeks.Â
âUm, yeah, everything is⊠perfect,â she scoffs, reaching into her pockets, probably looking for tissues, but finding none so Harry grabs one from his inner pocket, handing it over to her, her fingers brushing against his for the shortest second as she takes it and then itâs over, but his skin keeps tingling.Â
âThanks,â she mumbles before drying her face as much as she can. âIâm good. JustâŠâ She looks at him and changes her mind. âAh, wouldnât want to bore you with my nonsense personal drama.â
âDrama is never boring, have you learned nothing in my class?â he jokes and it actually makes her laugh.Â
âThis drama is not worthy of being taught in class though.â
âI bet some of the big names thought the same thing upon writing what we read in class these days.â
âSo youâre saying I should write about how my boyfriend is fed up with me because I told him something he did hurt me?â
âThat sounds like something I bet a lot of people would want to read about,â he smiles and when she mirrors it, he can feel his chest expanding. Somewhere way too deep in his mind an alarm goes off, but it quickly becomes one with the void and all he can think about is her. âActually I can think of a few great pieces that are about similar topics.â
âReally?â
âYeah, believe it or not, youâre not the first one to experience this.â
The way she looks at him is setting him on fire. The mixture of sadness, tiredness and gratitude towards his attempt to cheer her up is still making her glow in a way Harry has never seen before on any woman.Â
âDo you mind analyzing one for me right now?â
âIâd be happy to.â
The party is completely tuned out for the two of them. First they actually talk about a novel, but soon it turns into sharing their favorite books and authors, their guilty pleasure reads, recommendations for each other and even more personal bits Harry would never share with a student, but Y/N is the exception.Â
They have no idea how much time passes as they stand outside and Harry ignores how the cold starts to sting his fingertips even in his pockets, because he knows that if they go inside this bubble will pop and he is too selfish to let that happen just yet.Â
When thereâs a short silence Harry notices that she is probably slipping back into what happened earlier and when she looks at him again he already knows she is about to share.
âI gave him a chance and explicitly told him not to fuck me over, because I canât deal with that again. But all he has been doing is manipulating to believe that Iâm always in the wrong.â
âItâs impossible for you to always be in the wrong.â
âI know. Well, part of me knows, but then I always go back to thinking that he is right, I must have messed up something.â
âThat just proves that you have self-criticism, that you donât just think everything you do is perfect.â
She sighs and looks away, her gaze distant as she battles herself inside her head, a feeling Harry knows very well, unfortunately. It doesnât sit right with him that she is visibly struggling because of an immature guyâs untreated problems. She deserves so much more, but how can he tell that without crossing a line?
âGive it some time and youâll see it clearer. Use your critical thinking on his actions as well, not just yours and donât settle for less than your worth.â
âYou think I did that?â she asks, eyes jumping back to meet his gaze. âYou think I settled for less than my worth?â
Thereâs more behind her eyes than the words she said out loud and he is torn, because he can feel himself being pulled in more than ever, like she just opened the door the slightest and he has the chance to slip in. Itâs the first time he senses something on her part and after all the yearning he is eager to take the chance.Â
âI think you deserve a lot more, Y/N. Youâre brilliant, bright and give so much to others, you should get the same amount if not more back. If someone canât see that, then they donât deserve you.â
For a second he wishes he didnât say a thing, he regrets crossing the line and he fears her reaction, but thenâŠÂ
Then he forgets everything. Because she is kissing him.Â
It happens fast, one moment she is staring up at him with doe eyes, the next her lips are crashing against his, her hands grabbing onto the lapels of his coat. He barely recovers from the shock when she is already pulling away.
âI-Iâm so sorry, I d-didnât mean to, I justâOh my Goââ
Her stammering is quickly cut short when he kisses her, his hands holding her jaw to angle her face perfectly and while her kiss was closed, rushed and panicked, this one is different. He is quick to beg for her to open her lips so he can explore as much of her as humanly possible, he is letting all the passions loose that heâs been locking up these past months and when she returns it just as eagerly it just pushes him even further.Â
They inch back to the wall of the house and when he pins her against it a moan slips past her swollen lips, completely maddening him.Â
âFuck, Y/N,â he breathes against her lips, kissing her jawline, savoring the sweet taste of her skin thatâs supposed to be cold, but itâs actually burning. For him.Â
He keeps one hand on the side of her neck, the other one digs into her hip through her coat and she keeps pushing against him, while her hands wander under his coat, they are on his waist, back and when they move to his lower stomach, brushing against his belt, something snaps inside him.Â
But before he could completely lose his mind the backdoor opens and he quickly sobers up, pulling her farther away from the corner so they canât be seen.Â
â...and that was actually crazy,â a girl speaks up, oblivious to how Harry has Y/N pinned against the wall just a few feet away. They are both breathing heavily, but she has her face buried in his shoulder while he covers his mouth with a hand, adrenaline racing through his veins.Â
âAh shit, Iâm out of cigarettes,â another girl says.
âMm letâs get out of here then. I think Max said they are having a little party as well.â
âOkay.â
Then the door opens again and the voices disappear, but reality hits Harry hard in the head.
He slowly pulls back, enough to look at her face and when he sees her swollen lips and slightly smeared mascara he almost combusts.Â
Because he wants nothing more than to take her, right here and then everywhere else in the world, but he also realizes what he just did and this time his rational side wins.Â
âFuck,â he gasps as he jumps back, cupping a hand over his mouth.
âI wanted itââ
âY/N, stop!â he cuts her off. âFuck, this was a mistake.â
âBut I wanted it! You didnâtââ
âI said stop!â he barks and she shuts her mouth right away. âThis shouldnât have happened.â
And before she could protest again or worse, kiss him again, he is already storming back inside, across the house towards the front door.
âHarry! I havenât seen you all night!â Stella catches him, but he just wants to get as far away from this house and from Y/N as possible.
âIâm sorry, I need to go. Iâll talk to you later,â is all he manages to say before he is already out the door.
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âł WHAT A MAN â
đŒynopsis. the little sweet things they do. đčairing. enha!member x female!reader đ°enre. tooth rooting fluff, domestic. đarnings. mentions of nude (not in a malicious way), not proofread, english is not my 1st language. đđŹ. 1k+ đ¶asterlist.
⥠đȘmelie's ïżœïżœïżœote: hey there! how are you guys doing? excited for enhypen's comeback? because i surely am! àŽŠà”àŽŠàŽż ËÍÌêłËÍÌ )
â đ±eeseung: leftovers? it's his!
you know that boyfriend's who are the definition of a vacuum cleaner? heeseung is definitely one of them â and it makes you fall even more in love. there's something about him finishing his meal first and waiting patiently for you to finish yours or giving/handing your leftovers to him. in the beginning of your relationship with heeseung, you were kind of taken back by his action, which made you ask him if he wasn't disgusted or something. however, this man looked straight into your eyes and replied: "no? babe, i kiss you every day, how could i be disgusted? i mean, how could i be disgusted of you?" â how sweet... (â„ïčâ„)
â đłongseong: bathe you when you're tired.
it's not a secret that jongseong is that type of domestic boyfriend or like the materialisation/personification of husband material. with that, usually, when you come back home tired, your boyfriend makes sure to let you rest. he makes you food, then chooses a comfy pyjamas for you before leading you to your shared bedroom. with that, he would slowly and sweetly take off your clothes and reassure you he could do the laundry. jongseong then proceeds to leads you to the bathtub â already running a warm bath â, pampering you with butterfly kisses onto your shoulders while both of you wait for the water to fill the bathtub. and then finally you get into the bathtub, enjoying the way his hands massage your shoulders, how his lips feel against your tense muscles and hearing his whispers: "i'm so proud of you, i love you, sweetheart..."
â đłaeyun: calls you layla's mum.
ever since you and jaeyun were friends, he has already called you layla's mum a hundred times, but it never hit you that much back then until both of you started dating. i think it is because of the moments jaeyun usually calls you that, being mostly of the time when he wants to cuddle his two girls â you and layla. if you're still not convinced that it could be one of the sweetest thing he does, imagine this scenario: both of you cuddling on bed and then your boyfriend suddenly hears small whimpers coming from layla behind the door. and then he gently places a kiss on your forehead and opens the door for her, petting her head while speaking with a baby voice with her as well. "come here, layla!" he pats an empty spot on your shared bed, inviting her. "come here cuddle with your mum! ey~ good girl! jaeyun would tease you saying â while giggling â something like: "you're so cute... like your mum," â literally the sweetest thing ever!
â đŒunghoon: remembers every little thing you say.
remember when you said you like that drink? me neither, but sunghoon surely does. sunghoon is known for being one of the introverts, however, he is one of the sweetest that's for sure. in the beginning of your relationship, you remember going out for a date with him, and while walking on the street holding hands, he pulls out something from his pocket and hands you. it was a small pink box. "what is this?" "um... open it," opening the small box, a beautiful necklace was revealed. "what...?" "you know," he would start, avoiding looking at you while feeling coy. "remember when you said you wanted a new necklace because yours was getting old?" your boyfriend looks at you for a brief second, waiting for you nod. "so... i know you didn't ask for me to buy it but... i bought one for you." and that was one of the moments you knew you were loving and falling for the right person: and not because of the necklace, but because of his intention.
â đŒunoo: cares about you and your (mental) health.
sunoo loves sharing, he can't forget that sharing is caring. with that, since both of you were just friends he always made sure to share everything with you. skincare products, perfumes, feelings... and you have the most clear memory of him being worried about you while you were out and have ate nothing more than an apple. don't do this to him. sunoo always says to you â when you complain about your looks â that he doesn't care, he cares about you! not your looks. â "look, baby, i understand you. i have my insecurities too and we can work them together; two is better than one, right? i love you, i care about you and i hope you know you can count on me always."
â đłungwon: kisses your hand daily.
as a way to show love throughout the day, jungwon prefers to give you small acts of love, such as like: forehead kisses, doing the laundry, making the bed and tidying the room up, etc. it's not like he doesn't kiss you, but he doesn't feel the need to make you feel loved only by that. however, he knows how important it is for you, so he usually rather to kiss your hand. like, imagine both of you just sitting on the dinner table having a meal together and suddenly â while chatting â he takes your hand and gently places a kiss on it because he felt like it. or, imagine you accidentally cut your finger: jungwon will get a band-aid and give you a little hand kiss, kissing your forehead as well, wishing you feel a bit better.
â đ»iki: always covers your legs.
riki is usually wearing his large jumpers/hoodies, and that is for three reasons: 1. because he feels cool; 2. because he feels cold; 3. because he wants to protect you. protect you from what? i mean, you can't really stop a bullet from hitting someone with a hoodie right? yeah, it's obvious, with that, he just wants to protect you from the cold, creeps; mainly when you wear short skirts and you have to sit down on an underground seat or just simply waiting for the bus to arrive. it's this little thing he does that makes you feel cared and loved, even though riki has this playful and sometimes nonchalant personality.
© đȘđŠđđ„đąđź, đșđčđđđ°đ”đź đđœđŸđœđđđŒ. â
#đđđđđđđ â ot7#enha imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x reader#enhypen writers#enhypen imagines#enhypen headcanons#niki x reader#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen reactions#heeseung x reader#jongseong x reader#jay x reader#jaeyun x reader#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo x reader#jungwon x reader#riki x reader#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon headcanons#heeseung imagines#heeseung headcanons#jaeyun imagines#jaeyun headcanons#riki imagines#niki headcanons#niki imagines
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Bad Sleeping Habits
Dad!Aemond x Wife!Reader
Summary: Aemond has trouble being firm with your daughter.
A/N: This is just a little drabble I wrote. No beta, so I apologize for any spelling and grammar mistakes!
Aemond had always been a light sleeper, even more so after the birth of your daughter. He had always been the first to wake up and rush to her side anytime she made the slightest noise. So when he heard her shuffling out of bed in the middle of the night, he woke up immediately. He didnât get up, instead choosing to wait and see what she was up to.
The two of you had been trying to get Daenys into the habit of sleeping in her own bed. To say it was a struggle would be an understatement. The two of you had let her sleep between you a few times, and apparently, she took that to mean she had to sleep in your bed every night.
Aemond didnât honestly mind it. He loved every minute of it. He knows that once she gets older, he wonât get those moments when he can hold her close and have her sleep in his arms anymore. So he wants to hold on to her as long as he can.Â
Aemond kept perfectly still as he felt the blanket at the bottom of the bed being tugged down. He used one of his hands to hold onto it so that it would not completely slip off the bed, as Daenys used it as a ladder to climb onto the bed. He pretends to be asleep, though he cracks his eye open just enough to watch his little girl, in case she slips.
She let out a little grunt as she successfully reached the top. Aemond doesnât move as she climbs over him, most likely trying to take her usual place between the two of you.
He does his best not to cry out when her knee accidentally digs into the flesh of his thigh. He doesnât want to frighten his little girl or, even worse, wake you up. So, he does his best to bear the pain.
He waits until she reaches the top of the bed before rolling over to face her. She freezes, her eyes wide open, knowing sheâs been caught. Though her shock quickly turns to amusement. Daenys gives him a cheeky smile.
âWhy are you out of bed?â He whispers. âGo back to sleep,â he scolds her playfully.
âNuh-uh,â she shakes her head, making her little silver curls shake side to side.
 Daenys sits back on her heelsâa mischievous glint in her eyes.
Aemond lifts his hands, trying to brace himself. He makes it just in time before she throws herself on top of him. Her little arms wrap around his shoulders, squeezing him tightly as she buries her face into his neck. Messy, silver curls tickle his nose. Aemond shakes his head, trying to push her hair away.
âFine, you can stay,â he sighs, âbut your mother wonât be pleased with us in the morning.â
He grabbed the blanket, pulling it over the both of them.
She yawned, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder. âNight, night, kepa.âÂ
âGoodnight, my little dragon.â He hummed, gently running his hand over her back.
Aemond stared up at the canopy, and once again, he found himself wondering how he had gotten here. What had he done to deserve such happiness? The man had always known he would marry and eventually have children someday. He was a Targaryen prince, after all. Yet he had never imagined it would make him feel so... content.Â
âYou spoil her too much,â you mumble drowsily.
Aemond turned his head, finding you with your head still buried in your pillow.
âSheâs a princess. It's practically in the job description.â He smirked. âBesides, you don't seem to mind when I spoil you.â
âFine,â you sigh. âBut sheâs sleeping in her own bed tomorrow.â
Aemond reached over and grabbed your hand. He lifted it, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
âGoodnight, my love.â
#hotd#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen#prince aemond#aemond targaryen x reader#house of the dragon fanfic#house targaryen#aemond#aemond one eye#hotd aemond#prince aemond targaryen#aemond x you#aemond targaryen imagine#prince aemond x reader#prince aemond x you#aemond fanfiction#prince aemond fic#dad!aemond#girldad!aemond#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon
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âYOU COULDâVE ASKED.â || SOULLESS. S.W
ââLike a Bitch in heat.â
Summary; Soulless!Sam has been eying you for a while, his advances havenât gone unnoticed. You finally canât help it anymore after you believe heâll be out for the night on a case with Dean.
Content Warnings; Soulless!Sam, heavy degrading, unprotected sex, piv, F!Masturbation, Creampie, Caught masturbating, Sam being a dick, Mentions of tension, teasing, rough sex, hair pulling, slight pain kink, crying during sex, etc. 16+ ONLY.
A/N; I despite Soulless!Sam, but god fucking damn it heâs hot as hell. Slight plot. 900+.
Xoxo, roro <3
The sound of Samâs heavy boots clunked down the hallway of the bunker as he headed towards your room.
Ever since Sam lost his soul, you had to admit, the man was fucking hot, he was hot before, but fucking hell. You saw how his eyes trained on your form, how he stared at you with lust clear in his irises. When his hand snuck down to grip your thigh when Dean went on about a case in the town you two were headed earlier, your panties were soaked from the mere contact.
This was pathetic, you felt pathetic as you plunged your fingers in and out of your cunt. Moans and whimpers spilling from your plush lips along with gasps of his name.
The loud footsteps didnât even register in your brain. Your hips rocked against your fingers, fuck, you could imagine how well his would feel instead of yours.
Samâs eyebrows shot up when he heard the gasp of his name, a smirk creeping onto his lips as he realized who it was. Dean was out at a bar with some pretty blonde after another argument between the older Winchester and the younger.
The old Sam would walk away, pretending nothing happened. This Sam? He was pushing the door open, leaning against the doorframe as he watched your fingers move in and out of your pussy. He already felt himself harden beneath the denim of his jeans. He watched as you grinded your hips against your hand. Trying to reach that sweet spongy spot that he knew you clearly werenât successful in.
âYou couldâve asked.â You could hear the smirk in his tone, your cheeks immediately heating up. You began to speak before he cut you off again, âTold Dean I was gonna check on you⊠and here you are, humping your fucking hand like a bitch in heat.â He tilted his head, watching as you looked at him with wide eyes. Something told him you enjoyed how he spoke to you. So he kept going, making his way over to your bed. He was undoing his belt in the process.
âSam, I-â You stuttered before he cut you off again, âShut up, ass up.â You swallowed at that, removing your fingers from your leaking hole and getting into the position he requested. His hand moved to assist you after he tossed his belt, pushing you further into the pillow.
You hadnât even processed the fact he was lining up with your slick entrance already before he made another degrading comment.
âWet like a goddamn faucet. Itâs for me, isnât it?â He muttered, his hand skimming over your back before his fingers moved to tangle in your hair. You nodded, the feeling of his tip prodding at your entrance distracting you from a verbal response.
âAnswer. Me.â He tugged at your hair once, forcing a strangled moan out of you. He groaned at that, seeing how the pain had a very positive reaction on you judging by the way your slick coated his head.
âGod- fuck, yes⊠itâs been for you.â You choked out, and he finally pushed inside. Filling you in one single snap of his hips, forcing a gasp from your throat.
You were squeezing him so goddamn tight already.
âFuck, all that and youâre still tightâŠâ He grunted, his fingers resting in your locks before he gave another firm tug. His smirk widened when he heard that small whimper come from you.
After a few moments, he created a pace. Your lewd sounds and the vulgar noise of his cock slamming in and out of your dripping cunt filled your room. Samâs noises werenât loud like yours, but you could hear them.
âS-Sam- oh my fucking godâŠâ You moaned out, he let out a deep chuckle at that. He noticed how your hips attempted to move against his. He saw how your pussy swallowed him each time he moved. His free hand moved down, his index and middle finger rubbing at your clit to try and loosen you up around him.
His pace was rough, god, he was fucking ruthless. Yet youâd be lying if you said you didnât enjoy it.
âFuck, you really did need this, huh? Taking me so fucking deep⊠stretching so perfect around me, huh, Sweetheart?â You mewled at that, tears beginning to stain your pillow at his relentless pace. You couldnât stop saying his name, it was the only thing you seemed to remember at this point. Besides the fact that you could feel the knot building up inside of you, ready to snap at any moment while his cock hit your sweet spot over and over again. It was like he had already memorized it.
He knew you were close, he was too. He could tell by how your moans grew more high-pitched, how your pussy was squeezing him like a goddamn vice. He didnât hesitate in teasing you for it, âShit⊠Youâre already gonna come for me? It's not even been that long, Baby⊠Canât get enough of this, can you?â You sobbed out another cry of his name in response, his fingers tightened their grip further in your strands. Forcing your head up so you could open your eyes despite your blurry vision.
âCome. Now.â He said, your hips stuttered, your legs were practically shaking. He fucked you through your orgasm, despite his own stuttering hips.
âFilling this pussy up, Honey⊠and youâre gonna keep it in there.â His tone held a warning, and within seconds he was coming undone inside of you. His release coating your sore walls.
Your breaths were heavy, he pulled out slowly. His hand slid from your hair, letting your head fall against the pillow.
âSee? Itâs not that hard to ask.â
#sam winchester smut#soulless!sam smut#supernatural#fem!reader#sam winchester#jared padalecki#sam winchester x female reader#sam winchester x reader#soulless sam#this is filthy#beware.
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ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR QUINN HUGHES
pairings: quinn hughes x fem!reader, (little bit of) jack hughes x fem!reader
summary: trevor invites you to a lakehouse for the summer, attempting to set him up with his friend. however, the summer doesn't go to plan when you meet his older brother who captures your eye and flips everything upside down.
warnings: very obviously angst, sort of a love triangle, jack and quinn kind of hating each other, slow burn, reader and trevor having a sibling type relationship, one singular kiss, brief appearances from trevor & luke
word count: 11.6k
notes: wooooo mama this is the absolute longest thing i've ever written. i really hope you guys enjoy it, i'm pretty happy with this.
The scene of the lake house standing tall in front of you was something straight out of your imagination. It was picturesque, the way the large house was nestled amongst the pine trees and the glimmering water sparkling behind it. It was just the way that Trevor had described it when he invited (or rather insisted) you to come to his buddyâs lake house this summer.
âYouâll love it! Itâs so nice up there,â Trevor had urged, his enthusiasm infectious. You could still hear his voice, brimming with excitement. âItâs my friend Jackâs place. You guys would get along great! And his brothers are super chill too.â
At the time, youâd felt a mix of curiosity and skepticism. Itâd been about three years youâd been friends with Trevor, long enough to know that when his tone got this excited and he was this insistent, he was up to something.
âAre you trying to set me up with him?â youâd asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously at Trevor as the two of you sat in a coffee shop a few months ago. He had been uncharacteristically fidgety, bouncing his knee up and down while stirring his iced coffee with an unnecessary amount of focus.
Trevor had grinned at you in that annoyingly charming way he did when he was caught. âNooo, Iâm just saying you guys would vibe. Heâs a cool guy. Super chill.â
You rolled your eyes, folding your arms across your chest. âUh-huh. And his brothers?â
âAlso cool!â Trevor leaned in, eyes sparkling with mischief. âBut listen, Jackâs the one I think youâd really like. Just come for like, a week or two, see what happens. No pressure. I promise youâll have fun.â
Youâd hesitated, not entirely convinced. But Trevor knew exactly how to play on your curiosity, and a month later, you found yourself packing a bag for a summer getaway at some lake house owned by Trevorâs friend, Jack. Despite your reservations, a part of you was intrigued. What if Trevor was right?
The drive to the lake house had been a blur, punctuated by Trevorâs nonstop chatter and your own uncertain silence. You werenât opposed to meeting Jack. Trevor had sung his praises for months, claiming you two had more in common than either of you realized. As far as setups went, this wasnât terrible â you could trust Trevor to have good judgment. But still, you were unsure and slightly uneasy about the whole situation.
When you arrive, Jack is already waiting outside, leaning against the porch rail, hands shoved into the pockets of his shorts. Heâs smiling â an easy, laid-back smile that makes you smile back automatically. The sun filters through the trees, casting warm, gold light on the porch, and for a moment, everything feels serene.
Trevor wasnât lying when he commented about Jackâs appearance. âSome people call him a pretty boy but⊠I mean he is pretty, but heâs a good-looking dude, yâknow?â He was definitely attractive, something anyone could admit you thought, but he wasnât totally your type.
Trevor bounds up the steps of the porch, dapping up Jack and pulling him in for a hug. You followed, stopping at the bottom of the steps, watching as Trevor whispered something into Jack's ear, Jackâs eyes catching yours as a small smile appeared on his lips.
Jack steps forward, extending a hand. âHey, you must be y/n. Iâve heard a lot about you,â he says, his voice warm with that relaxed confidence youâd expect from someone whoâs used to being the center of attention.
You shake his hand, feeling the easy smile on your face widen a little. âAll good things, I hope.â
Trevor laughs, throwing an arm around Jackâs shoulder. âMostly good things.â He winks at you, and you canât help but roll your eyes.
Jack offers to give you a quick tour of the place, and you agree, letting him guide you inside while Trevor stays back, grumbling to himself about having to bring in your bags. The inside of the house is as beautiful as the outside, with high ceilings, wooden beams, and floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the lake. Despite being a new build, it has a cozy, rustic feel to it. Jack pointed out each room as you went, keeping up a steady flow of conversation that put you at ease. He was friendly and thoughtful, making sure you felt welcomed, and it struck you as genuine. You could see why Trevor thought youâd get along with him.
âAnd this is the back deck,â Jack said as he pushed open a sliding door, revealing a sprawling view of the lake, with a dock stretching out in front of the property. The lake is glittering and relatively calm, aside from a figure disturbing the water. You squint, watching as the swimmer glides smoothly through the lake.
âWhoâs that?â you ask Jack, eyes not leaving the figure as you watch him pull himself up onto the wooden dock, pushing dark wet hair from his face.
âThatâs Quinn,â Jack says, following your gaze and glancing out toward the dock. âMy older brother.â
The sun seems to linger on Quinnâs form, highlighting the toned muscles in his arms as he stretches briefly, rolling his shoulders to ease out any lingering tension from his swim. Droplets of water cling to his skin, catching the sunlight and tracing down his chest in slow, winding trails emphasizing the smooth contours of his muscles as they glisten.
âQ!â Jack shouts, whistling to get his brotherâs attention. Quinnâs gaze snaps to the two of you, your pulse quickening as his eyes land on you. âCome up here!â
Quinn grabs his towel from the dock, throwing it over his shoulder as he makes his way up the lawn towards you. As he climbs the steps to the deck, you feel his eyes travel over you, not in a way that feels intimidating, but with a curiosity that mirrors your own. Thereâs something magnetic about him, something calm and steady that draws you in as he steps up onto the deck, his mouth curving into a small, barely-there smile.
âThis is Trevorâs friend, y/n. Sheâs joining us for the summerâ Jack introduces.
As Quinnâs gaze flickers back to you, you notice thereâs something about the way he looks at you â subtle, assessing. His gaze has a certain depth, a look you canât quite decipher. It lingers just a second longer than what feels typical, enough to make your heartbeat skip, to leave you questioning the flicker of interest in his expression.
âNice to meet you,â Quinn says, his voice low and smooth, a perfect complement to the quiet confidence he exudes. He reaches out to shake your hand, and as your fingers meet, you notice how warm his touch feels, even with the cool water droplets still lingering on his skin.
Up close, heâs even more striking. Thereâs a sort of ruggedness to him, outlined by the sharpness of his jaw and the intensity of his gaze. His eyes, a greenish shade of blue, hold yours with a calm intensity that makes it hard to look away.
âNice to meet you too,â you manage, your voice coming out softer than you intended, and you feel heat rise to your cheeks. You mentally kick yourself, hoping he doesnât notice, but the glimmer in his eyes suggests otherwise.
Jack, oblivious to the undercurrent, clapped his hands, breaking the moment. âAlright, well, thereâs more to see, and if we donât get back, Trevorâs going to start whining about being abandoned,â he joked.
You chuckle, your eyes pulling away from Quinnsâ for the first time since he joined you on the porch. But as you turned to follow Jack back inside, you couldnât help but glance back at Quinn. He was still watching you, his expression softened just slightly, and you felt a quiet thrill at the way he watched you.
The first week at the lakehouse passes in a flurry of days that blur together in laughter and lakeside relaxation. You fall into an easy routine of swimming, grilling, and long talks on the deck. Jack and Trevor keep things lively, always organizing something, whether itâs an impromptu game of cornhole, a daring cliff dive, or a spontaneous trip into town.
With Jack, the connection forms fast. Heâs lighthearted, quick with a joke, and endlessly charming. He keeps you laughing and keeps the vibe lighthearted. His energy is infectious, and he keeps you roped into every activity, whether itâs cliff-jumping or getting you to help him with dinner when itâs his turn. You can tell that Trevorâs plan to get the two of you set up is working for Jack, as he lingers closer, laughs harder at your jokes, and you begin to feel his gaze linger on you just a little too long.
But itâs Quinn who holds your attention in a way you hadnât anticipated.
Quinn is different from Jack in nearly every way. Where Jack is open and quick to draw you into his orbit, Quinn lingers on the edges, observing and listening. When he speaks, itâs with a low, steady voice that commands attention without trying. And unlike Jackâs energy, which feels like the buzz of the sun overhead, Quinnâs is deep and mysterious like the lake.
You find yourself gravitating toward him at every opportunity, captivated by the way he moves through the days with an unruffled calm. The nights at the lake house slip into an easy rhythm, with Quinn and you inevitably being the last ones awake as the both of you are night owls. Most nights, you find yourselves lingering on the porch, wrapped in the gentle hum of crickets and the low whisper of the lake. With the others upstairs, fast asleep, you and Quinn fall into intimate conversations, shared only between the two of you.
One night, you find yourselves tucked away on the porch, the air a little cooler than the other nights. You are curled up on a rocking chair, bundled up in a hoodie youâd borrowed from Jack. Quinn sat across from you, the beer heâd started during dinner going warm in his hand.
Quinn studies you, his eyes catching the faint glow of the porch light as he swirls his bottle absentmindedly. âSo,â he begins, breaking the comfortable silence, âWhatâs California like?â He leans forward, genuinely interested, his voice carrying a warmth that makes you want to spill everything about life on the West Coast.
A soft smile creeps onto your face. âItâs⊠different from here,â you admit, glancing out at the lake where the moon dances on the still water. âItâs a bit fast-paced. And warm. Lots of sun, lots of people. But sometimes, it feels like everyoneâs moving so quickly that you get lost in the crowd.â
Quinn nods, his eyes steady on you. âI get it. I feel the same way about Vancouver sometimes. Coming back here⊠it just reminds me that there's more than the noise and rush. Thereâs⊠balance out here.â He gestures out toward the lake, his voice contemplative. âLike all of this has a way of pulling you back to what matters.â
His words resonate deeply, and you find yourself nodding. âExactly,â you murmur. âItâs like thereâs space to breathe. And you notice things that usually get lost in all the⊠chaos.â
Quinnâs gaze lingers on you a moment longer, a small smile forming at the corner of his mouth. âIâm glad you came. Itâs been⊠good to have you here,â he says quietly, his eyes soft. âWe donât have other people up here often.â
Your heart pounds a little faster at the sincerity in his voice, and for a second, the rest of the world disappears. Thereâs only Quinn and the quiet lake, and the feeling that he understands you in a way you hadn't expected anyone to. You hold his gaze, feeling the electricity between you grow, filling the silence with something you canât quite name.
But then, as if drawn back to reality, Quinnâs eyes shift, his expression subtly changing. âAnd Jack,â he says, almost as an afterthought. âHe⊠really likes you, you know? He doesnât say it, but I can tell.â
It feels like a splash of cold water. You break eye contact, pulling your hoodie closer around you, the warmth you felt moments ago dissipating. The weight of Jackâs interest hangs heavily between you and Quinn now, an undeniable reminder of the complicated line youâre toeing.
âRight, yeahâŠâ you reply softly, looking down, your voice tinged with a mix of guilt and frustration. You hadnât meant for this to get complicated, yet here you are, caught between two brothers who couldnât be more different.
An uncomfortable silence settles over you both, thick and heavy. Quinnâs eyes linger on you, as if heâs about to say something more, but he holds back. His lips press into a thin line, and you wonder if heâs feeling the same conflict, the same confusion thatâs twisting knots inside you.
You force yourself to look away, swallowing hard. âI think⊠I should probably head to bed,â you murmur, avoiding his gaze. You stand up, offering him a small, tight-lipped smile that doesnât quite reach your eyes. âGoodnight, Quinn.â
Quinn nods, his expression unreadable as he watches you ebb towards the door. âGoodnight, y/n,â he murmurs, his voice low and steady, though thereâs a flicker of something in his gaze â disappointment, perhaps, or longing. You slip inside, leaving him on the porch, the weight of his gaze heavy on your back as you close the door.
In bed, you toss and turn, Quinnâs words and the feel of his gaze lingering with you. Your mind is a whirlwind, caught between the easy, carefree friendship thatâs growing with Jack and the simmering tension you feel with Quinn. Jack is perfectly nice and, like Trevor told you, the two of you were getting along swimmingly.
But no matter how much you try, your thoughts always drift back to Quinn. Thereâs something undeniably different about him, something that makes it impossible to feel the same way about Jack, no matter how hard you try. Jackâs presence is light and friendly but with Quinn⊠itâs like thereâs a hidden gravity pulling you toward him, a quiet understanding that lingers beneath the surface of every conversation. Every night on that porch, heâs become your anchor, drawing you into a world that feels more honest, more intimate.
You lie there, staring up at the ceiling, your mind replaying the way he looked at you tonight â that almost undetectable spark that youâre sure you didnât imagine. The way he listens to you, like every word matters, as he sees past the small talk and into the parts of you you rarely share. Thereâs no pretending with Quinn. And even though heâd mentioned Jack, it only made you realize how much more youâre drawn to Quinn. Jack might be developing feelings for you, but itâs Quinn who fills your thoughts, who leaves you breathless in a way you canât ignore.
You pull the covers tighter around you, willing sleep to take you, but every thought seems to lead back to Quinn, to the way he made you feel seen, understood â even in silence.
The next morning, you do your best to shake off the lingering tension from the night before, determined to keep things light and normal. Under Jackâs enthusiastic suggestion, the group decides to spend the day out on the lake, hoping the sun and water will wash away any unease. Itâs a sunny day, warm with a light breeze, and the water sparkles invitingly under the sunlight, making you think that everything might just go smoothly.
The boat is anchored in a calm spot on the lake and, despite the wonderful weather, there doesnât seem to be another boat around. Trevor and Luke sit up in the bow, arguing about which mascot would win in a fight between Mr. Clean and Tony the Tiger.
Jack is quick to pull you into the action, handing you a beer from the cooler as he grins. âAlright,â he says, his smile as wide as the lake. âAre you ready for the full lake house experience? Because to really do that, youâve got to jump off the boat at least once today.â
You laugh, shaking your head as you crack open the can. âIâm pretty sure youâre just making up rules to mess with me.â
He shrugs, a playful glint in his eye. âMaybe, but you have to do it anyway,â he shrugs.
Trevor chimes in, chuckling from his spot. âJackâs right, y/n. First-time lake visitors have to jump. Itâs tradition!â
You chuckle, your gaze drifting up to Jack as he stands in front of you. The sun shines directly behind him, casting him in a golden halo, the bright rays spilling around his frame in a way that makes him look almost ethereal. For a moment, you can see why anyone would fall for that charm. But even with this picture-perfect moment, you feel a pang of regret that you canât feel more for him, because, somehow, your thoughts are pulled elsewhere and on someone else.
Jackâs laughter brings you back to the moment, and he leans a little closer. âCome on, we can make it a team effort. I mean, if youâre too nervous, I can just hold your hand.â His voice is playful, but thereâs a hint of sincerity in his words, a hope that youâll let him bridge the gap heâs trying so hard to close.
Your smile is genuine, but before you can respond, you hear Quinn's low chuckle from behind you. Itâs soft, barely audible over the hum of the boatâs motor, but enough to pull your focus completely away from Jack. You glance back at Quinn whoâs sat on the back bench, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, a flicker of something in his gaze as it bears down on the two of you.
Your attention is pulled back to Jack as he reaches for your hand in a gesture that feels both playful and pointed. âCome on, y/n, itâll be an official initiation. Weâll jump together, yeah?â
Your gaze flickers between Jackâs outstretched hand and Quinn, whoâs watching with an inscrutable expression, his eyes narrowed slightly as he leans back, crossing his arms. You canât deny thereâs an awkward tension here, a silent push-and-pull between the two brothers that seems to amplify whenever Quinn is nearby.
Swallowing the strange, charged feeling building between you all, you look back at Jack and nod, forcing a lighthearted smile as you stand up, pulling off the oversized t-shirt you wore as a coverup. You see Jackâs eyes scan your figure, hearing him gasp quietly. You blush, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, taking his hand. He grins in triumph, his fingers warm against yours as he helps you stand at the edge of the boat. He holds on a little tighter than necessary, and the flicker of anticipation in his eyes doesnât go unnoticed.
âReady?â Jack asks, his voice softer now, his gaze lingering a bit too long as he watches your expression. Thereâs a hopeful vulnerability in his face, a look that makes you hesitate for a moment. You donât want to hurt him, but thereâs a part of you that wishes heâd pull back, that heâd realize youâre not as invested in this connection as he is.
You manage a nod, hoping he doesnât notice the small sigh you let slip. âReady as Iâll ever be.â
He beams, counting down with a quiet âthree⊠two⊠one!â before the two of you leap into the lake together, the cool water rushing up to meet you. When you surface, youâre greeted by Jackâs laughter as he splashes you, pulling you into a playful water fight. You laugh along, though your eyes instinctively drift toward the boat, where Quinn looks over the edge, watching you both with an unreadable expression.
Jackâs laughter fades slightly as he notices your attention elsewhere, his face falling for a fraction of a second. But he quickly masks it, pulling you back with a light splash. âHey, stay with me here,â he says, his tone half-joking, half-pleading. And you want to, you really do, but Quinnâs gaze is magnetic, and you canât help but feel pulled toward him, as if thereâs an invisible thread between the two of you.
Eventually, Jack climbs back onto the boat, reaching out to help you up. But the moment you step back on board, the charged silence returns, thick and stifling, as Quinn hands you a towel, his fingers brushing against yours just long enough to send a spark up your arm. You catch his gaze for a brief second, and youâre struck by the quiet intensity in his eyes, a longing that mirrors your own.
Jack clears his throat, his shoulders tensing slightly as he glances between you and Quinn. He lets out a forced laugh, trying to dispel the tension. âAlright, whatâs next? We could always do another round of jumps, or maybe a swim to the dock?â He says it with an almost desperate cheerfulness, trying to regain your attention, trying to keep the moment light.
Trevor and Luke, sensing the tension, start bantering about who would be the fastest swimmer, their playful arguments distracting you all for a moment, lightening the mood just enough.
ââââàšà§ââââ
The night air was crisp as laughter and the crackling of the fire filled the space around the lake house. The lake is quiet behind you, a dark, glassy surface reflecting only starlight. You were settled in a lawn chair, leaning back, watching as Trevor dramatically recounted a story about when you nearly crashed his car.
You could feel his eyes on you, searching for a shared smile, hoping to catch your gaze even as he chuckled at Trevorâs theatrics. Every so often, he'd lean in, commenting with a low murmur meant only for you. Heâd even offered you his hoodie earlier, though the night wasnât nearly cold enough to need it. It was endearing, if not a bit overeager. Yet, despite the obvious attention from him, your focus kept drifting across the fire.
Quinn sat across the flames from you, leaning back in an Adirondack chair. His attention was barely on the story, barely laughing with the others as you had been. Every now and then youâd catch his eyes flicker your way, lingering on you just long enough to send a thrill through your chest. Your stomach tightened with a quiet anticipation each time, though as quickly as the moment arrived, it vanished. Quinnâs gaze would shift, his attention lost somewhere in the darkness beyond the flames, leaving you wondering if youâd only imagined it.
As Trevor finally wrapped up his tale with an exaggerated flourish, the groupâs laughter rang out again, filling the quiet night. You shifted in your chair, stealing a glance across the fire to see Quinn looking your way again, his expression unreadable in the dancing light. The firelight cast soft shadows over his face, illuminating his quiet intensityâa contrast to Jackâs open interest. And just as quickly as his eyes met yours, he looked away, his focus deliberately elsewhere, leaving you feeling a subtle ache of frustration.
Jack nudged your arm gently, his voice breaking the spell. âHey, want to grab a drink or something? I think I saw some ciders in the cooler on the porch.â
âOh, yeah, sure,â you replied, a small smile curving your lips as you pushed yourself up to join him.
You could feel the weight of Quinnâs gaze on you, or maybe it was just wishful thinking. As you walked toward the porch with Jack, a pang of prickling guilt settled over you, leaving a heavy shadow with every step. Jack was wonderful â funny, kind-hearted, and clearly eager to spend time with you. And yet, there was an emptiness in each smile you returned to him, a hollowness you couldnât ignore. You tried to shake it off, reminding yourself to appreciate his warmth and interest. But you couldnât deny it. There was no spark, no unspoken gravity that pulled you toward him.
The two of you reached the porch, Jack handing you a cold can from the cooler, his fingers brushing yours briefly. He shot you a quick grin, the kind that seemed to hold a hundred different things he wanted to say. But the look in his eyesâthe hopefulness, the eagernessâonly tightened the knot in your chest.
Jack took a sip of his drink, leaning casually against the porch railing, his gaze still on you. âItâs nice here at night, isnât it?â His tone was light, but there was an unmistakable softness to his voice, as though he wanted nothing more than to keep this moment between just the two of you.
âYeah, it really is,â you agreed, looking out at the lake rather than meeting his eyes. âItâs peaceful.â
Jackâs voice was quieter when he spoke this time like he was mulling something over. âYou know, itâs been great having you up here. I meanâŠIâm glad Z brought you here.â he said softly, though his smile didnât quite reach his eyes. There was a vulnerability there, one that made you want to reassure him, to ease the sting of your own uncertainty.
You wanted to tell him you felt the same, that you were excited, that his attention filled you with butterflies. But it didnât. Not the way Quinnâs lingering gaze did, not in the way his silence could reach across the fire and wrap around you more tightly than any words Jack could offer.
And Jack could sense it. You could see it in the way his gaze fell just a bit, in the way he seemed to retreat into himself, trying to figure out where heâd lost you. A soft, sinking guilt bubbled up, but before you could say anything, he cleared his throat and looked at you, trying to keep the mood light.
âShould we head back?â he asked, giving you a small smile that tried to mask the disappointment behind his eyes.
You nodded, and as you followed him back toward the fire, your eyes drifted back to Quinn. Why did he have to make it so complicated? Jack was there, warm and steady, giving you his full attention, yet your heart kept tugging you toward Quinn â Quinn, who never gave you more than half-glances and unspoken hints. It was as though he knew the effect he had on you but chose to keep you guessing, leaving you in this restless, uncertain state. And every time he looked away, your chest would ache with a longing that you couldnât shake, no matter how hard you tried.
You felt like you were making it up in your head. You felt like all of this was just concocted by your brain, a made-up situation. But then youâd think back to the nights when it was just the two of you, sitting across from one another on the porch, finding bits of commonality, causing you to talk for hours.
It was during those quiet nights, with only the soft hum of the lake and the occasional call of night birds, that the two of you would sit just a little closer, voices lowered as if sharing secrets with the stars. Heâd be calm, reserved, but thereâd always be a hint of a smile when you teased him about his stoic nature, a glint in his eyes when heâd challenge you back. It was in these moments that your doubts faded, that all the confusion seemed worth it.
But then the sun would rise again, and Quinnâs indifference would come back like the morning mist, blanketing any closeness you thought youâd found. The spark that seemed so real under the cover of night would dim, replaced by his guarded demeanor and quiet aloofness. It was maddening, this cycle of near-closeness followed by a cool retreat. Heâd show you just enough to make you wonder, to keep you holding onto the memory of his quiet smile and that soft look in his eyes.
As you and Jack rejoined the group, you settled back into your chair, glancing across the fire toward Quinn once more. He was looking down, a hand idly fiddling with the edge of his sweater. There was something vulnerable about him in that moment, something that made you wonder if maybeâjust maybeâhe felt the same hesitation and uncertainty. You wanted to bridge that gap, to ask him if he ever felt the same tug, the same strange pull that made every shared glance linger in your mind.
But before you could even entertain the idea, Jackâs hand brushed your shoulder, pulling your attention back to him. He was smiling, his gaze as steady and warm as ever, making you wish you could return it with the same openness.
âHey, you okay?â Jack asked, concern lacing his voice. You hadnât realized the way you were chewing on your lip, or the way your brow was furrowed ever so slightly.
You nodded, giving him a soft smile that you hoped looked genuine. âYeah, justâŠlost in thought, I guess.â
But as you said it, your gaze slipped across the fire once more, finding Quinnâs eyes fixed on you with that familiar, unreadable intensity. And for a fleeting second, you thought you saw a softness there, a hint of something deeper. It vanished just as quickly, but that one look was enough. It was enough to make you cast away the doubt that lingered in your mind, to dismiss the thought that this was all in your head.
The night dragged on, punctuated by laughter and more ridiculous storytelling from Trevor. Gradually, one by one, everyone began to call it a night. Luke was the first to slip away, yawning as he muttered something about wanting to have an early workout, clapping Trevor on the shoulder before heading inside. Trevor followed soon after, stretching with exaggerated laziness before flashing a grin and winking at you. âDonât get into too much trouble out here,â he teased, earning a playful eye-roll from you.
Finally, it was just you, Jack, and Quinn. Jack was lingering, his eyes occasionally drifting to you with a look that hinted at something he wanted to say but couldnât quite bring himself to voice. He shifted in his seat, clearing his throat as he looked at you, then glanced over at Quinn.
"Alright, I guess Iâll head in, too," Jack finally said, his tone reluctant. His gaze lingered on you for just a beat too long, as though he wanted you to ask him to stay or tell him that you would head up with him. But you didnât, and after a quiet sigh, he nodded, gave Quinn a brief glance, then turned and headed inside, the screen door shutting softly behind him.
And then it was just the two of you.
The quiet stretched between you and Quinn, thick and tense, as the night air settled into a stillness that seemed to wrap around you both. The only sounds were the crackling of the fire and the soft rustle of the trees, and it was painfully quiet, each unspoken word between you two heavy with meaning. You could feel his presence, magnetic and steady, even across the fire. Finally, after a moment that felt like an eternity, you drew a deep breath and decided to speak.
âQuinn, can we talk?â Your voice was steady, but just barely. Quinnâs eyes finally locked with yours for the first time since before everyone began to filter to bed. Quinn nodded after a couple of seconds, giving you the silence to continue.
âI donât know whatâs going on between us,â you said softly. âBut⊠fuck, I canât stop thinking about you, and itâs driving me crazy. I need to know if itâs all just in my head or if you feel it too. Because if thereâs a reason I feel this way⊠I need to know.â
You trailed off, heart hammering against your ribcage as the words hung in the air between you. For a moment, he didnât respond, his expression unreadable, his face softened by the glow of the firelight. Then, with a sigh, he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees as he stared into the flames. His silence was torture, each passing second pulling you deeper into a pit of anxiety and frustration.
When he finally spoke, his voice was low and steady, as if heâd rehearsed this response in his mind countless times. âItâs not in your head,â he admitted, his gaze flickering up to meet yours. âThereâs something here, between us. I feel it too.â
The words sent a rush of relief and hope through you, a spark that reignited all those moments spent wondering and waiting for some kind of sign. A soft smile spread across your face, the edges of your doubt finally beginning to soften. But then, his expression shifted, the corners of his mouth tightening as he looked away, eyes fixed on the shadows just beyond the firelight.
âButâŠâ His voice was barely a whisper, rough around the edges. âIt canât go anywhere. Not with Jack. HeâsâŠheâs into you.â He looked back at you, the regret in his eyes evident, a pain mirrored in your own chest. âI canât do that to him.â
His words were like a punch to the gut, and the warmth of the fire suddenly felt distant, fading into a cold, empty ache spreading through your chest. You hadnât expected it to hurt this much, hadnât realized how much youâd been hoping heâd say the opposite, that heâd fight for whatever was happening between you.
You dropped your gaze, feeling foolish, vulnerable, exposed. âSo thatâs it? We just⊠pretend this doesnât exist?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. âLike nothingâs been happening all this time?â
Quinnâs jaw tightened, and he looked away, his expression pained. âI donât want to pretend. But I canât⊠I wonât hurt him, not like that. Heâs my brother.â He hesitated, his voice cracking slightly. âAnd he really cares about you.â
You swallowed hard. It felt ridiculousâbeing here, feeling so foolishly hopeful, only to be left with a hollow ache and a fractured connection that couldnât ever be more. Part of you wanted to yell at him for leading you on, for those late-night conversations and stolen glances, for every unspoken word that now felt like a cruel joke.
âIâm sorry,â he whispered. âI wish it could be different.â
The words left you hollow. Part of you wanted to fight, to tell him that what you felt couldnât just be ignored, but another part â the part that knew him and understood his loyalty â couldnât bring yourself to ask him to choose you over his brother. Not when you saw the conflict in his eyes, the pain that mirrored your own.
âFine,â you whispered, barely able to meet his gaze. You stood up, the cool night air prickling your skin as you walked away from the fire, leaving him there in silence. You didnât look back. It felt like your chest was filled with broken glass, each breath painful, as you made your way back to the house.
Inside, the stillness was almost suffocating. The others had already gone to bed, and the darkened living room felt cold and empty, mirroring the ache in your heart. You climbed the stairs to your room, shutting the door softly behind you as you sank onto the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall. A mix of anger and sadness filled you. You were mad at Quinn, for drawing you in only to push you away; mad at Jack, for being in the way even if he hadnât meant to be; mad at Trevor, for ever convincing you to come here; and, perhaps most of all, mad at yourself, for letting your heart hope for something that could never be.
The next morning, a heavy quiet blanketed the lake house. You moved through the motions of breakfast with the others, but your thoughts felt distant, lost somewhere between the memories of last night and the weight of Quinnâs words. The morning was made slightly easier by the absence of Quinn who you were told went into the town early that morning to run errands and hit the gym. The guys bantered and talked about heading out on the boat, planning an afternoon on the lake, but you could only muster half-hearted nods and polite smiles. It was hard to focus, every small soundâthe clinking of mugs, the soft scrape of a chairâonly intensifying the ache you couldnât shake.
Excusing yourself, you slipped away before anyone could ask questions, making your way down to the dock. The air was cool, a gentle breeze rippling across the lake's surface, and you sat at the edge, feet dangling above the water. You were still in your sleep outfit, not exactly pyjamas, but rather a comfy oversized hoodie and a pair of mens boxers. The familiar scent of pine and fresh earth surrounded you, but even the peaceful view couldnât ease the storm of emotions inside.
The quiet was soon broken by the sound of footsteps approaching, and you didnât need to look to know it was Jack. You felt him sit beside you, his presence warm and grounding. For a moment, he didnât say anything â just let the silence settle between you both, as though he was waiting for you to be ready.
Finally, he cleared his throat, glancing sideways at you. âYou okay this morning? Youâve been⊠quiet,â he said softly, his voice tentative, as if he were stepping carefully around broken glass. âDistant.â
You swallowed, bracing yourself as you met his gaze. His eyes were filled with genuine concern, a softness that only made this harder. âYeah,â you murmured, looking back out at the lake. âGuess I just needed some space.â
Jack nodded, though he didnât seem convinced. His fingers drummed nervously on the edge of the dock, and after a beat, he spoke again, his tone thoughtful, almost nostalgic.
âYou know,â he began, eyes cast down at the water, âwhen Trevor told me he was bringing a friend this summer, he was so sure weâd hit it off. He kept going on about how you and I would be perfect for each other, that weâd get along great.â A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. âI remember feeling this weird, excited energy like⊠maybe he was right, you know? Maybe I was going to meet someone special.â
You felt a lump forming in your throat as he continued, his voice carrying a warmth that was both comforting and deeply bittersweet.
âAnd when you got hereâŠâ He hesitated, his eyes meeting yours, as if to gauge your reaction. âI donât know, it just⊠felt easy, from the start. Like weâd known each other forever. I started to feel like maybe Trevor had been onto something.â He gave a soft laugh, but there was no humor in it, just the weight of unspoken feelings.
âThings felt really good between us, and I thought you felt it too,â he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. âSo I started to get my hopes upâthinking maybe this was the start of something real.â
You winced, guilt gnawing at you. âJack⊠Iâm so sorry,â you said, your voice shaky. âI didnât mean to lead you on, truly. I think youâre amazing. From the bottom of my heart, I just⊠I mean thereâs gotta be some sort of spell this fucking house puts me under because I would be insane otherwise to not like you! You⊠youâre so perfect that any other girl would be scremaing at me, trying to claw my eyes out for not appreciating you. But⊠I just canât. I donât know whatâs wrong with me.â
Jackâs eyes softened, a mix of sadness and resignation settling in them. He looked down, his fingers still drumming but more slowly now, as if grounding himself. After a moment, he took a deep breath and let it out, his shoulders sagging slightly.
âI get it,â he murmured, though his voice had an unmistakable crack in it. âI mean⊠I think I get it. You canât force something that isnât there, right?â He gave a sad smile, one that tried to mask the hurt but didnât quite succeed.
He stared out at the water, his expression distant, like he was trying to piece together what had gone wrong, or maybe just what heâd missed. A tense silence settled between you, the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on the air around you. Jack cleared his throat, seeming to steel himself, his gaze searching your face as if looking for an answer to a question he hadnât yet asked.
âCan I⊠can I just ask you one thing?â he said, voice barely above a whisper. His vulnerability in that moment was palpable, and you could feel your heart pounding, bracing yourself for what was coming.
You nodded, feeling your throat tighten.
âDo you⊠have feelings for Quinn?â
The words hung in the air, heavy and painful, and a part of you wished he hadnât asked. But the look in his eyes told you he needed to know, that the uncertainty was gnawing at him just as much as the truth might.
Slowly, you nodded, a tear slipping down your cheek as you whispered, âYes.â
A heavy silence fell between you, and Jack seemed to shrink a little, his shoulders slumping as he took it in. Jackâs gaze fixed on the lake, and for a long moment, he said nothing. You could see the effort it took for him to keep his expression neutral, to keep his emotions tightly bound. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke.
âSo, you⊠you and Quinn. Is there⊠anything actually happening between you two?â He glanced at you, a flicker of something raw in his eyes â hope, maybe, or just the need to understand.
You shook your head, offering a small, bittersweet smile. âNo, Jack. Weâre⊠weâre not together. We wonât be.â
He looked at you, brow furrowed. âWhy not?â he asked softly, his confusion obvious. âIf you feel that way about him, why wouldnât you try?â
You took a shaky breath, the words catching in your throat. âBecause Quinn⊠Quinnâs too good of a brother. Heâd never go for me because of you⊠and because of what he knows you feel.â
Jack blinked, his brow furrowing as he took in your words. âWaitâwhat does that mean? Because of me?â he asked, his voice laced with confusion. His gaze softened, and you could see he was fighting to keep his tone steady, like he was trying not to hope.
You sighed, feeling a bittersweet ache settle in your chest. âQuinn told me he could never be with me because he knows how you feel. He doesnât want to hurt you, Jack.â
Jackâs jaw clenched, a flicker of frustration flashing across his face. âSo⊠let me get this straight,â he muttered, almost incredulously. âHeâs not doing anything about how he feelsâbecause of me?â
You nodded, and Jack fell silent, staring down at his hands, which had stopped drumming and were now clenched tightly in his lap. He seemed deep in thought, his brows furrowed as he processed what youâd just told him. The lake was quiet around you, the stillness broken only by the occasional ripple of water.
For a long time, Jack didn't say anything, just stared down at the water, his brows drawn together. You could almost feel the weight of his thoughts, the way he was wrestling with everything that had just been laid out. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, raw.
âSo he⊠he cares enough to stay away,â Jack said slowly, the words laced with a sadness that felt almost like admiration. âThat's⊠just like him.â He took a deep breath, forcing a small, sad smile. âI wish things were different. I wish we could just rewind, go back to the start of summer and⊠and pretend this never happened.â
You swallowed hard, his words striking a chord deep within you. âMe too,â you whispered, eyes burning with unshed tears. âI never wanted any of this to happen, Jack. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you.â
Jack looked over at you, his expression softening, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of the easy, unburdened friendship youâd had in the beginning. âI know,â he murmured. âYouâre not the kind of person whoâd do this on purpose. Itâs just⊠life, I guess. Itâs complicated, ân messy as hell. And⊠maybe Trevor was right. We do get along. Just⊠maybe not in the way he thought we would.â
He smiled, a genuine one this time, though tinged with a sadness he couldnât hide. âMaybe someday⊠I wonât feel this way,â he said quietly, his voice barely audible above the soft lapping of the lake against the dock. âBut for now⊠I think I just need a little space. Time, maybe.â
You nodded, understanding that this was what he needed, even if it hurt to hear. âI get it, Jack. I do.â
Jack gave a nod, his gaze returning to the water, the weight of unspoken words settling over the two of you. In the next moment, he reached over and gave your hand a small squeezeâa quiet truce, an understanding. Then he stood, brushing off his shorts and glancing back at the house.
âIâll be up at the house for a bit,â he murmured, the distance in his tone unmistakable. With that, he turned and walked back up the dock, his footsteps slow and heavy.
In the following days, there was a noticeable shift in the air; everyone felt it, though no one dared to name it. Conversations were stilted, laughter felt forced, and even the once-lively dinners had become quiet affairs, each of you treading carefully as if one wrong word might shatter the fragile peace that held you all together. Jack avoided you and Quinn as much as he could, lingering at the edge of group activities, his usual easygoing energy replaced by something more closed off, guarded.
Quinn, for his part, kept his distance too, his usual calm presence clouded by an unspoken tension. It was as if he knew that the delicate line he was walking might snap at any moment, sending everything spiraling out of control.
You couldn't ignore the heaviness that had settled over the house, a tangible sense of tension that made everything feel off-kilter. As much as you'd wanted this summer to be an escape, it had become the very opposite â a painful reminder of all the ways things could go wrong.
That evening, after everyone had gone to bed, you found yourself wide awake, thoughts racing. The decision took shape slowly, a reluctant resolve that you couldnât shake. You needed to leave. Staying here, caught between the fractured pieces of what had been and what could never be, was too much to bear. The thought of facing both brothers day after day, watching Jackâs guarded smiles and Quinnâs restrained distanceâit was too much. They deserved space, and, you realized, so did you.
With a deep breath, you grabbed your phone and booked a flight out for two days later, the earliest you could manage. You barely slept, running through potential conversations in your mind, eventually deciding you were only going to tell Trevor and slip out quietly, not wanting to cause anymore issues.
You forced yourself to push through the pain and awkwardness during the two remaining days until you would be returning back to California. As the days inched closer to your departure, the weight of unspoken words grew heavier, settling into every corner of the lake house. You caught glimpses of Jack, his face turning away when he thought no one was watching as if even looking at you and Quinn felt like reopening an unhealed wound. Quinnâs glances were no less fraught, though his were filled with a wistful restraint, as if he was already mourning the loss of something that had barely even begun.
The dinners, once filled with laughter, now passed in subdued tones, each person more focused on their plate than the conversation. You found yourself counting down the days and hours, conflicted between the need to escape the tension and the ache of leaving it all behind. In those last two days, you kept reminding yourself that soon, youâd be on a plane back to California, back to your own life â away from Jackâs pained looks and Quinnâs longing stares.
Your final day there, you packed your belongs up quickly, hoping Trevor would buy your excuse of not wanting to miss your flight as a good reason for him to take you to the airport early, and not because you couldnât bear to spend one more hour in this suffocating oasis. Everyone else was lounging by the water, with the exception of Jack who lingered in the kitchen, opting to do the dishes rather than be around the others. He was lost in thought when he heard the patio door slide open and shut, the sound of bare feet padding against the hardwood. He turned to the entrance of the kitchen, seeing Quinn wearing his boardshorts and a slightly guarded look.
Quinn stopped at the threshold, eyes flicking briefly to Jackâs hands as he scrubbed the dishes. They were tense, knuckles white around the plate he held, and the silence between them was palpable and heavy. Jack set down the dish with a clatter, bracing himself on the edge of the sink, not looking at Quinn. Jack didnât give Quinn time to speak. The words erupted from him, fueled by everything heâd been holding back.
âDo you even understand what youâre doing?â Jackâs voice was low and seething, barely contained. He didnât wait for an answer, didnât dare let Quinn get a word in. âYouâre hurting her, Quinn. A perfectly nice girl, who came here not looking for this mess but got dragged into it anyway. And the worst part is, you know it. You know it, and youâre still just⊠sitting back like a damn martyr, thinking that by staying distant, youâre somehow making it easier for everyone. That by holding back, youâre sparing her, sparing me.â
Jackâs words cut through the quiet, sharper than the silence that had settled in the house over the past days. The vulnerability in his tone was raw, scraping against Quinnâs stoic expression. Quinn shifted uncomfortably but didnât interrupt; he only looked at Jack, his gaze unwavering.
âAnd you know what? I kind of hate you for it,â Jack continued, voice unsteady. He turned his head just enough for Quinn to catch the anger, the hurt in his eyes. âI hate that you waltzed in and just took her from me without even trying. And, yeah, maybe thatâs selfish. Maybe I never really had a chance, but she was still there, and I was trying. I was there, damn it!â
Quinn finally took a step forward, but Jack cut him off again, his hands clenching at the counter. âAnd I hate you for pretending like youâre doing the right thing by telling her nothing will happen. You act like youâre some noble saint by âstaying away,â but itâs a lie, Quinn. Itâs a lie, and we both know it. Youâre holding back because youâre scared â scared to go after what you really want, and in the end, youâre just making it worse for everyone. For her. For me.â
Jackâs voice wavered, then cracked, as he finally fell silent, chest heaving from the force of his confession. The words had cost him, as if each syllable had drawn blood. The only sound in the room was the dripping of the faucet, each drop amplifying the tension between them.
Quinn stayed quiet for a long moment, his gaze steady as he absorbed every word. He studied Jack, weighing something unspoken. âWould you hate me if I went for her, then?â His tone was gentle, almost hesitant, a softness that Jack hadnât been prepared for.
Jackâs jaw tightened. âYeah,â he admitted. âI probably would.â He ran a hand through his hair, a bitter laugh escaping him. âI mean I hate you right now for making her feel the way she does. But it shouldnât matter, Quinn. Not if you two⊠if you actually care about each other.â Jackâs voice faltered, breaking under the weight of his own honesty. âLook, Iâll get over it. In time. But donât waste what could be something good just because youâre trying to spare everyone. Itâs pointless, and itâs selfish. You need to get to her before itâs too late.â
Quinn could feel Jackâs anger and pain, an emotion so raw and tangled it clawed at the air between them. For a second, Quinn thought of how different things could have been if he had stayed on the sidelines, if he hadnât let himself get close to you. But as Jackâs gaze softened, an odd understanding settled between them. Jack wasnât letting go easily, but he was letting go.
Jackâs shoulders slumped, exhausted, as he ran a hand over his face. âSheâs leaving today, you know?â he said to Quinn, a look of surprise appearing on his face. âTrev told me last night she booked her flight out for this afternoon.â
Quinnâs face fell, and the guarded look faded, replaced with something dangerously close to panic. He hadnât knownâhadnât expected that this was it. That today was the end.
âSheâs leaving?â Quinn asked, Jack nodding. âWhy didnât she say anything? W-why is she leaving?â
âBecause why would she stay?â Jack said. âSheâs going to protect herself. Sheâs not gonna stay here, hoping for something that wonât happen. Sheâs too smart for that.â
The realization struck Quinn like a punch to the gut, leaving him breathless. Jack's words echoed in his mind, each one sharper than the last. Sheâs leaving. Of course, she would. She wasnât the type to hang around hoping for some half-hearted promise or for Quinn to finally decide what he wanted. She deserved so much more than waiting for him to get his act together.
Jack's voice softened, pulling him back to the present. "Quinn, itâs not too late. She hasnât left yet. If you really care about her, donât let her go like this."
Quinnâs gaze faltered, a flicker of something vulnerable crossing his expression. Could he really undo the damage heâd done by staying away? Could he find the words to convince her that, despite his silence, heâd felt everything just as deeply as she had?
A heavy silence followed before Quinn found his voice. âWhat⊠what should I say to her?â
Jack shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping him. âYou really think Iâm giving you advice on how to get the girl I wanted?â
Quinnâs face softened in a rare, grateful smile. âFair enough.â He hesitated, then turned, steeling himself as he left the kitchen, leaving Jack to his own fractured thoughts.
Quinn climbed the stairs two at a time, his pulse racing with every step, anticipation and fear warring within him. As he reached the top, he saw Trevor just exiting your room. Trevor paused, giving Quinn a look that held no small amount of concern.
âI donât know what went down between you three,â Trevor said, his voice uncharacteristically serious. âBut I care about her, and I donât like seeing her like this. You going to fix whatever mess this is?â
Quinnâs chest tightened. He knew Trevor had been close to you, learning this summer just how much of a big brother figure he was to you. He couldnât fault him for looking out for you.
âIâm going to fix it,â Quinn said, his voice quiet but firm. He met Trevorâs gaze, hoping to communicate the sincerity in his words. âI have to.â
Trevor didnât say anything else, but he gave Quinn a long, steady look, as though weighing whether to believe him. Then he gave a nod and shifted your duffle bag, stepping aside to let Quinn pass. With a final glance at Trevor, Quinn walked to your door, his heart racing. Quinn stood outside your door for a moment, his hand hovering above the doorknob. He knew what he needed to say, but a part of him feared that the damage was already done. Bracing himself, he knocked gently before pushing the door open.
You were standing by the window, your zipped duffle bag sitting on your bed. Your back was to the door when Quinn entered, and for a moment, he almost turned around, the words caught in his throat. But then you turned, your eyes meeting his.
âAre you really going?â Quinn asked, his voice quiet and strained.
You nodded, stepping away from the window and closer to Quinn. âI think itâs best. This whole summer has just⊠itâs too much, Quinn. I didnât come here expecting any of this, and now I just feel⊠caught. And I canât keep feeling this way.â
Quinn swallowed, his gaze never leaving yours. He looked as though he was battling something heavy, words lingering on his lips, waiting to escape. He stepped forward, close enough that you could see the faint circles under his eyes, the fatigue that seemed to pull at his features.
âI didnât expect any of this either,â he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. âAnd I get it â youâre right. I hurt you. I know that. I thought⊠I thought if I kept my distance, it would somehow make it easier for everyone. That maybe you'd move on from this â move on from me, and be with Jack. I thought it would hurt less.â
You held his gaze, your voice low but unwavering. âDo you have any idea what that did to me, Quinn? All summer, feeling this⊠this connection between us, and thinking that I had to be imagining it because you couldnât even look at me. And youâre saying you did that on purpose? To protect me?â Your voice trembled. âThatâs not protecting me. Thatâs running away.â
Quinn took a shaky breath, stepping closer, his expression taut with regret. âI know I messed up. I was spineless and I should have told you the truth sooner.â Quinn said, bowing his head briefly before forcing himself to look up at your hurt eyes. âI told myself that it was better this way, but all I was doing was lying to myself. Because every time I saw you⊠every time I heard your laugh, or watched you talk to Jack, or caught you looking at me â I couldnât breathe.â
Quinn took one last step forward, less than a foot away from you. He raised his hand to reach you, fingertips grazing your arm gently, as if he feared you might pull away. âBut I care about you, more than I thought possible. And I was afraid of that. Afraid of hurting Jack, afraid of hurting you⊠and afraid of wanting you this much.â He swallowed, his voice growing rough. âBut I canât let you leave without knowing how I feel. I want to be with you I â I need to be with you.â
Your breath hitched, the confession settling over you like a warm, crushing weight. This was what youâd wanted, but it also brought a whirlwind of conflicting emotions crashing down. You took a small step back, just enough to put some distance between you, needing space to gather your thoughts.
Quinn was saying everything you wanted to hear from the beginning. Laying his feelings bare, and exposing his heart in a way you hadn't expected from someone as reserved as him. It was like seeing a hidden part of him, one heâd kept carefully guarded. The vulnerability in his eyes made it clear that this was as terrifying for him as it was thrilling for you.
But in the back of your mind, Jack lingered, his hurt and disappointment woven into every stolen glance and quiet moment of the summer. The image of his face as he realized how you felt about Quinn was something you couldnât shake. The memory clawed at you, guilt mixing with the longing Quinnâs words evoked.
âYou have no idea how much Iâve wanted to hear that,â you said, voice catching. âBut Quinn⊠Jack â he tried so hard with me this summer, and I couldnât give him what he wanted because of⊠well, because of you.â You hesitated, torn between the longing in Quinnâs eyes and the memory of Jackâs earnest, hopeful glances. âThe last thing I wanted was to hurt him. And I feel like Iâve done enough damage by just⊠being here.â
Quinnâs gaze softened, his hand lingering just above your arm, hovering close as if he wasnât ready to let you go. âI know,â he murmured. âI know itâs complicated. But I talked to Jack this morning. He told me⊠he told me to come up here and talk to you. To tell you how I felt. He wants you to be happy, and he knows thatâs not with him. Heâll get over it.â
âJack said that?â you whispered, barely able to believe it.
Quinn nodded, a slight smile tugging at his lips, though there was sadness in his eyes. âHe might hate me for a while, and I can live with that. But he said Iâd regret it if I let you go. And⊠he was right.â
His hand, warm and steady, traced down your arm, his fingers slipping around yours with a gentle firmness. The touch, gentle but insistent, sent a jolt through you. âI know Iâve messed up,â he murmured, voice barely a whisper. âBut if youâll let me, Iâll make it right. I want this, us⊠if you do too.â
You nodded, words escaping you as Quinn stepped even closer, his free hand lifting to gently cup your face. His thumb brushed against your cheek, and you could feel the slight tremor in his touch. He leaned in slowly, giving you every chance to pull away, but you didnât.
His lips barely brushed yours, soft and tentative. Your breath mingled together briefly before your lips locked together. He lingered for a heartbeat, savoring the closeness as if he, too, couldnât believe this was real. Then, with a surge of emotion, the kiss deepened, all the restraint and hesitation of the summer dissolving as his hand rose to cradle your cheek, holding you to him as though afraid you might disappear.
His stubble that had grown out over the last couple weeks of summer scraped along your jaw and chin, leaving a faint burn that only added to the rush of sensation.
When you pulled back, both of you breathless, he rested his forehead against yours, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips. âIâve wanted to do that since the day you got here,â he murmured, a hint of relief in his voice.
You giggled, staying close and feeling his heartbeat echoing against yours. The silence that followed was thick, but it was different now â no longer tense or uncertain like it had been for most of the summer. It felt as though the weight had been lifted from both of your shoulders.
But even in that moment, you knew the reality of what this would meanâfor Jack, for Quinn, and for yourself. There was a part of you that still ached, remembering Jackâs quiet disappointment and knowing it would take time to heal the wounds this summer had left behind.
You swallowed hard, raising a hand to Quinns face and brushing aside his dark locks that fell over his eyes. âI still think I need to go,â you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. âNot because I donât want this. I do. But I think both of you need time, and maybe I do too. To let everything settle.â
Quinn nodded, understanding settling over his expression. âI get it,â he replied, taking your hand in his and giving your palm a soft kiss. âIâll be here when youâre ready. Take all the time you need.â
Quinn let you slip from his arms, his heart squeezing as he watched you grab your bag and exit the room. As you descended the stairs with your duffle bag slung over your shoulder, you saw Jack waiting near the door. His expression softened as you approached, a bittersweet smile crossing his face.
âSo, this is it?â he asked, his voice gentle but with an undercurrent of acceptance.
You nodded. âYeah, I think itâs best. Thank you, Jack. For understanding. And⊠for everything.â
Jack gave a short nod, his gaze momentarily flickering towards the stairs where Quinn had stopped to watch from a distance. He returned his gaze to you and managed a small, sincere smile. âGo live your life. I wish you and Quinn all the best.â
You hugged him, both of you holding on just a second longer than necessary. When you pulled back, you could see the mix of emotions in his eyes, but there was a sense of peace there too. Heâd let go, not because it didnât hurt, but because he genuinely wanted you to be happy. You felt your heart swell, gratitude mixing with the faint sting of regret for the friendship that would never quite be the same. But Jackâs words lifted the weight off your shoulders, letting you and Quinn move forward.
With a final look, you stepped outside, Trevor waiting to drive you to the airport, his brow furrowed in confusion at the way you suddenly had pep in your step, a small smile present on your lips that had been missing for weeks. As the car pulled away, you stole one last glance at the lake house, catching a glimpse of Quinn watching you from the porch. He raised a hand in a small wave, and you returned it, a soft smile on your lips.
This summer hadnât turned out anything like youâd expected.
#quinn hughes#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes imagine#nhl#nhl imagine#hockey#hockey imagine#jack hughes#jack hughes imagine#new jersey devils#vancouver canucks#`âŠË âïž đâč my works#qh43#jh86
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đđđđ & đđđđđđ @multipleoccupancy
"Nice try," she laughed -always careful not to be too loud, "but I have five siblings, so you're gonna have to try harder." Being called a chicken was certainly not going to trick Violet into playing Monopoly, not when she had three little brothers at home! "Your chicken imitation is great though, maybe you can add that to your future actor resume," she teased him as she picked her own crayon and a few sheets of paper.
She nodded, her smile disappearing for a moment. Yes, she could imagine that the other patients would not appreciate losing at a board game. She hoped their reactions had not been too terrifying, but considering how violent Cecil had been after seeing a little note, she had a feeling Theo was better off never playing again with any of the other patients.
"I'm not a sore loser, but then again, I also never lose," she bragged playfully, trying to keep their little activity light and fun. Which wasn't easy in the common room, with patients screaming or staring.
"We'll see, we'll see," she hummed, picking up a prompt card. Rabbit. Well, that ought to be rather easy, good for a first round. Placing her sheet of paper between them, she started drawing the rabbit, beginning with the long ears.
"I guess you'll never find out if you're too chicken to play it against me," he teased her with half a smile and made a quiet chicken noise beside her as they walked into the common room. He cast a quick look around for somewhere to sit and spotted the table they seemed to gravitate to anyway, where they could keep an eye on the other patients and the orderlies alike. "Not great, so we don't play anymore." He said simply for his fellow patients reactions, not that he could recall many details for better or worse.
He sat himself down opposite her and was not surprised when there were two crayons rolling around inside the box instead of pencils. Oh well, they could still work with that. "Thanks," he said as she gave him a crayon and he picked out some paper to share between them. "But I still reckon I can win here too," that competitive streak still very strong despite his situation but Mauve had brought him a lot of comfort and confidence despite the trouble they were getting into all the time. It was nice to have someone to talk to and play with.
"You want to go first?" he offered and gestured towards the box of prompts. "I trust you not to cheat."
#&(killian beneventi)#violet (there's no happy endings)#multipleoccupancy#delta green verse#read at your own discretion
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yandere genshin men trying to make things right between you
angst, mildly dark themes ayato, neuvillette, pantalone, capitano, dottore, alhaitham
note: trying a new genre.
Neuvillette
Yandere Neuvillette kept forcing you into marriage after your relationship just got established. You asked him to give you some time to think over such radical and responsible change in life, but he was adamant to your pleads. He wanted everything here and now proven officially on the papers. You spent some nights crying because to think that such gentleman-like and solitary person like Neuvillette would force you into marital relationship was eerie. The desire to possess you officially seemed to blind him completely and he went from a loving gentleman to an almost insanely addicted man who did not accept a refusal.
It was your break-time at work when Neuvillette suddenly came up to you. It was odd at first - the judge putting away his duties to meet you seemed almost unbelievable, but remembering how assertive he was in the relationship with you it might have been close to the reality.
âCan I have a moment of your time, love?â He asked you, his hand not reaching to touch you but his gaze was heavy on your face.
âOf course.â
Not longer after the two of you were sitting in the cafeteria - a curious choice for a private conversation. Although you did not deny you seemed much more comfortable in a public place rather than face-to-face with him.
âAbout our marriageâŠâ Neuvillette started, his fingers grazing over his glass of water.
âYou already know my opinionâ, you answered with no emotion. The time to play nice unfortunately came to an end.
But the next response from Neuvillette kind of gave you goosebumps:
âIf I was too harsh on you, I beg of you to forgive me. I have a habit of grasping something dear to me too tightly, and Iâm afraid that I hurt you more than I could possibly imagineâ, he took a pause for a breath and gulped a sip of his crystal clear water. âI genuinely need to know whether or not you still harbour any pleasant feeling towards me?â
âWhat are you saying? Of course I do, NeuvilletteâI admit you were unacceptably rough on me the past few weeks, but it would make me a poor lover if it were to stop me from harbouring affection to you.â
The judge sighed in relief, and then his expression became serious again.
âI would love nothing more than for us to marry, but I realise the circumstances of pushing you too much. Tell me, dear, if you no longer want to proceed in intimate acquiantance with me.â
You shook your head - seems like he was not hearing you. You then took his hand in yours and spelled it again, frankly:
âNo, I want to be with you, wholeheartedly. And the marriage proposal, I shall accept it too.â
Pantalone
When Pantalone kidnapped you for no specific reason, days turned to weeks. You almost forgot about the existence of sunlight as he kept you there like a pretty little porcelain doll for his own amusementâor whatever his nasty reasons might have been.
The last time you tried to escape his gloomy, mysterious castle-like home, you were severely punished for your âbad behaviourâ. Blood dripped down from your chin as you were sitting on the floor of a dark hollow room, chained and bruised by his henchmen. Perhaps he considered it too tacky to touch you with his own hands.
And then he entered. You didn't even want to look at his unapproachable, icy-cold eyes, and simply turned away, your eyes shut and hidden from him.
âHow rough you lookâ, he said with his usual tone which was cold, but at the same time smooth like butter.
You were dehydrated and hungry, thatâs for sure. You wanted nothing more than a warm fuzzy blanket and sweet tea, and forget this nightmare forever.
âWhen was the last time you had a proper meal?â He asked. He knew you never ate his food because youâd consider yourself indebted to him. And you did not want to take anything from this man.
Your face went deadly pale and bewildered when Pantalone dropped on his knees before you and started freeing you from your shackles. His hands were shaking wildly, you could witness how poorly he mastered the lockers due to his stress.
Yet without a single doubt, with no longer time to lose he wrapped his arms around your waist to carry you. His clothes were a little stained with the snow, and a bit of freezing touch made you shiver.
âI will never do this to you anymore. Forgive me. Please, forgive me.â His words that used to be spoken as an order now were slipped from his lips as a request.Â
You were laid in the warmth of the sheets of your own home. The familiar surroundings brought you joy and comfort you never knew youâd forgotten so easily.
âMy butler is cooking a dinner for you in your kitchen.â
He watched the whole time you were eating, guarding you and seeing how desperately you were filling your stomach up. When you finished eating, there was one loud slapâagainst Pantaloneâs face, by your hand. In a normal situation, he would be so angry and furious that the earth would shake of his abhor. But now he was simply taking it.
"I know. I should never have treated you like this. I ignored your wishes and violated your privacy. Iâve done the worst crime to youâI took your freedomâ, he touched the red mark blooming on his cheek from your unexpected punishment. âI wanted to obtain you so much that I ended up hurting you instead.â
Ayato
He was rich to his fingertips. In his world, the only thing he could not have, but wanted to, was you. You found yourself working as his secretary, aesthetically pleasing and always efficient. But Ayato was ruthless; he could never be satisfied, he was always unhappy. The requirements to you were growing day by day, and keeping up the standards seemed an impossible task. His moods were changing like a thunderstorm.
It was a regular day when you were performing your duties that you felt someoneâs presence behind your back. Ayato was not exactly above lurking so he made his presence known after you turned to face him. He did not expect you to turn so rapidly and ended up with his breath tickling against your face.
âY/N, Iâm sorry. I have been too demanding and controlling. My actions driven by raw possessiveness inflicted undesirable effect upon youâ, Ayatoâs words died away, though the expression on his face became even more grim and grave. âYou do not deserve such treatment, any of it.âÂ
You nearly dropped your working papers as you stared at him. Was this man really sincere? How long has he been overthinking about your relationship? It took you just a few seconds to gather your composure and strike him with an indifferent glare.
âItâs always so easy and costs no trouble for you, rich people. You just take what you want without considering either the outcome or other peopleâs feelings. You see people as things, belongings in your possession, and you never have enough.â
At that, Ayato became even more tense, his expression that was mainly seen by the most of people as sweet and gentle, now was an embodiment of darkness. Nevertheless he nodded to you.
âWhat should I do for you to forgive me? Iâm not going to lie and say that I did not think about how harmful my attitude might have been to you for the past month. What think you? Do I even stand a chance?â
âFat chanceâ, you chuckled under your breath. The laugh was almost too bitter rather than sarcastic.
Ayato took your hands in his, his black gloved thumbs rubbing against your skin slightly.
âYouâre like a poison to me. A very addicting one. And the more I see you work for me, the more I want to have you by my side. Not just at a formal eventâŠâ he bit his pale pink lip for a moment. âIâm starting to feel as if Iâd like to see you out of work circumstance, and the thoughts of such impropriety are enough to drive me utterly insane.â
You reciprocated the light squeeze that came from his hands, however yours was less obsessive and more gentle.Â
âIt is a very dangerous thought, Ayato.â
âOh, I can be a very dangerous man. For you, that is.â
Capitano
You were walking in Capitanoâs garden, feeling yourself like a beautiful bird in a golden cage, but in fact you were a princess in a beastâs castle. Once you saw his real face, you kept having nightmares about his skin rotting appearance. This man was scaring you to the bone, and every time you met him, although not very often, you felt how demanding and heavy the gaze of his icy blue eyes was.
You did not see him often, but once a while Capitano requested (no, ordered!) a private dinner with you. The rooms were dimly lit, his loyal butler making preparations to the highest standards as usual, and you - wearing the most luxurious of dresses youâd only be able to peek at in the past. But your face was the odd one as it beared no smile on it. You were gravely terrified by this man who had claimed you as his. And even though you slept in separate rooms, you could not brush the feeling as if he owned you; well, he kind of did, since you dwelt in his mansion.Â
Per usual, you were having a dinner with him at about eight in the evening when Capitano finally spoke. His tone was filled with assertiveness and power, yet the way he was eating, the movements of his hands were elegant enough to remind you of an excellently-educated prince.
âY/N, I need to speak to you.â
You shivered when you heard him, and you let go of the fork. The jingling sound spread across the room which put you even in an unnecessarily bigger predicament.
âYes, sir?â
Capitano hummed - he put his utensils away and looked as if he was carefully choosing his words which was not a habit of his. This Harbinger often talked exactly what he thought and was known for his bluntness. Capitano never beat around the bush and was always straight to the point, and this was one of the personality traits of his that made you feel conflicted. It was both terrifying and worth of respect.
âI want you to stop being scared of me. I want you to see that there is more of me than a horriffic, ugly old beast.â
You gasped: did he just used those unflattering words to himself? It felt so odd and so frustrating.
âWhat feelings do you want me to harbour for you, given our unusual circumstances?â
There was a long pause before Capitano made a sip of his red wine and suggested the following:
âAffection is too much, but could you at least try to be friendly with me? Donât you seeâcanât you see how hard Iâm trying to make your life with me less unbearable?â
Affection⊠friendliness⊠is that what he really needs from you?âyou think.
âIâm a prisoner here, I cannot imagine how I am supposed to show any warm feelings towards you. It would be fake and stupid.â
âThen make them not fake and stupid.â Capitano raised from the table and stormed out of the dining room, leaving you alone in the dim light of candles.
Dottore
You woke up on the plain lab bed, still restrained but this time your pain was drastically diminished. When you opened your eyes the lights did not cut your sight right away and you realised that the room was only dimly lit. You sighed in relief - perhaps he went on a break and you had a few moments of rest from his constant analysis and experiments upon your body.
There were a few tattoos on your hands but too small to even understand their meanings. Perhaps it was something from Zandikâs past that he decided to ruthlessly carve on you.
Your happiness and sense of relief did not last long though, as the man who called himself Doctor entered the room not exactly quietly.Â
âLook whoâs alive. Iâm gladâ, he wrote something on his notes, âvery glad, even.â
âWhat are you going to do to me next? Turn me into⊠abomination?â You attempted to sound sarcastic even though all your being was screaming inside. âIâm pretty sure you have not gotten your fill yet out of me.â
Dottore abruptly stopped writing and dropped his journal on the lab desk next to you.
âI think weâre finished here.â
âWhat?â
âI said youâre free to goâ, he cut your leather restraints with one rough motion that had a vibe of uncertainty of the soul.
You looked at your hands, your body cheered welcoming freedom, but at the bottom of your heart you were perplexed.
âBut why?â
Dottore did not utter a single word more, with his face buried into his other records, he turned away from you completely ignoring your presence.
You found your clothes tidy and repaired on the chair, and put them on quickly. Upon escaping the place you saw that not a single Fatui agent was preventing you from leaving. You looked at the lab once more and a pang of strange kind of sorrow appeared in your heart. Perhaps, you should pay him a visit once youâre recovered? Or was it a bad idea?..
Alhaitham
The nerdy scholar was quite possessive and jealous. He had a very curious but rather depressive personality. You thought him a quiet man until one extraordinary and terrific experience.Â
Alhaitham locked a man in the library for the whole night after he saw him giving you too much attention and you happily reciprocating him. An innocent friendly conversation seemed a blunt flirt to him. He could not bear the thought you having affection to someone else who was not him. When he saw you first he realised that he wanted you to see only him, and give all your attention to him. He craved to see you wanting his company, clinging to him or even agreeing to date him. But since his personality was too aloof and he never ever attempted to simply ask you out, but kept staring at you from the side, stalking unnoticeably and gather all information about you, you never had a chance to learn of his true feelings. Behind his obsession there had to be something, as such strong feelings never came out of nowhere.
Upon seeing you chat with that guy Alhaitham grew so furious that he almost not giving it a thought just slammed the door with the poor guy in the library and left him there for the whole damn night. Blinded by his jealousy, he did not even consider how youâd feel about that. The next morning you were perplexed by the sudden disappearance of your classmate, and once the library opening time came, the student was finally released.
âHow could you do this to him? To anyone?â You asked Alhaitham; it did not take much time to learn whose fault was that.
âHow could I?â He asked you back, his expression grave and unmoveable as if he were not interested in a single thing in the world. âHow could you spend so much time with him? Heâs a total jerk.â
âJudging by what you did the total jerk is you! How could you simply lock the person up? Are you insane?â
Alhaithamâs patience started to grow thinner. He squeezed his hands into the fists so hard that his knuckled turned snow-white.
âAre you stupid? You really donât see how I feel about you? And you keep being so nice to everyone but me. Youâre obviously ignoring me.â
Bewildered, yet you finally understood the root of the case. You stared at him for a few seconds before checking if anyone was near to eavesdrop. Luckily, there was not a soul around so you spoke honestly:
âIf you wanted to woo me, endangering someone was not a good idea. You did something I deem unacceptable. And such unacceptable actions will only make me like you less, Alhaitham.â
Alhaitham leaned closer, his voice was a gentle whisper.
âRight? Then teach me to woo you properly. Iâll do thousands of attempts to win you over, no matter the cost.â You pressed your hands against his shoulders to prevent him from getting into closer proximity with you, and Alhaitham, although not completely willingly, but still backed off.
#genshin impact x reader#genshin yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere neuvillette#yandere ayato#yandere pantalone#yandere capitano x reader#yandere dottore#yandere alhaitham#ayato x y/n#ayato x you#ayato x reader#neuvillette x y/n#neuvillette x you#pantalone x female reader#pantalone x you#pantalone x reader#pantalone x y/n#capitano x reader#capitano x y/n#capitano x you#dottore x you#alhaitham x y/n#neuvillette x female reader#neuvillette x reader#genshin x reader#anime x reader
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bunny hybrid!yandere x pissed off empress!reader
Imagine a bunny hybrid who's main role in life is to kill for the elites of his burrow. He is set to rule his burrow until it is destabilized, with he and his fellow elites tried for treason.
The poor man, being as beautiful as he was, was spared and gifted to an unprecedentedly young empress.
Everyone knew what he'd done to her, to her family.
"Do you remember me?" she asks as he is presented to her in her throne room.
"Of course," he says, smiling as ruthlessly as he did that day. Though he is bound in both chains and powerful enchantments, he looks strong. "How's your scar?"
"Bold question." You smile back, but you're sure it doesn't reach your eyes. You force yourself to not touch the healed gash on your collarbone. "You'll learn better."
I've become stronger.
But what happens if the poor bunny is not as cold as he seems?
includes; femdom, revenge, oral (fem receiving), degradation and masochism (yan receiving/being), forced marriage, dubcon, hurt little comfort
âI mustn't give in to temptation, Your Highness⊠To give in to such beastly, masculine instinctsâŠâ
You tear the man down to his knees by his hair. "It's 'Your Majesty' now. You made sure of that.
âAnd I don't care about any of that. You're mine, now. You're in heat, so let loose, according to my command.â
âB-ButâŠâ The man began to plead, covering his growing erection with his hands. âIt's my first time doing this⊠I don't want to be like the other dumb bunnies that hop around the moment they're sent off⊠I'm the next on lineâŠâ
This killer? A prude? A VIRGIN? you think. Laughable. He was surely old enough to not speak like a shy sweetie?
âHow will they know? Come here.â You shove his worried face into your crotch. âLick and suck like a good slut.â
âMmphââ
âThis tongue is mine to use. You're just a tongue now, understand? Tonight, you're just a pussy wiper.â
The terrifying man has tears in his crystal clear eyes.
Why is he so complacent? you wonder.
He his tongue begins to search your tight pussy, lapping at his mess every few seconds. He brings both hands to your hips. He begins to run his chin, fucking his tongue into your eager cunt. You hold his head to steady yourself, stepping in his pathetic cock all the while.
âNng⊠Slut⊠Slut!â you scream out, on the verge of crying. You bounce up and down, crushing his cock and violating his virgin mouth. He grips you tighter, tears now streaming down his murderously beautiful face. You want to hit him, but you settle for degrading him like the bitch he was. You call him a slut, whore, monsterâ You say that he's lower than dirt, lower than nothing.
You want to die on his lips so he could feel what you felt.
âFuck⊠Fuck⊠NngâŠ!â You suffocate him with your lust, choking him with your hedonistic flood.
So rough! he thinks. This confuses him, since he lived for and with extreme roughness and callousness. How was this different? Was it because it was⊠sex? Tonight, it seemed, he found himself numb and dazing out.
âYou like that, slut? You like that?â you pant, snatching his head away. He is silently weeping, puppy dog eyes both begging for more and begging for a break.
âIâm sorry, Your MajestyâŠâ
âFor what?â
âA-About your family⊠I'm truly sorryâŠâ
You fill with pure, unbridled rage. Why would apologize now, of all times?!
What a buzz killer.
âGet me a belt,â you say, stepping away, âone of yours.â
#yandere imagines#yandere male#yandere x darling#yandere#yandere community#yandere x reader#yandere smut#assassin yandere#fdom#fxmdom
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Part 11: Free Fall
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10
How many nights did you wish someone would stay? (Lie awake only hoping they're okay?)
(In which an angst writer makes her comeback in more ways than one)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Fluff if you squint?
Words: 8.0K
TW: Swearing (that's probably it?)
A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Y'all are the sweetest people ever for being so patient with me but it's finally here! I'm hoping that I don't put y'all through this again but it is almost finals season so...fingers crossed. While you read this chapter, I'd like y'all to keep in mind how much you love me and how much y'all wanted a new chapter and of course my favorite phrase: for the plot! I tried to edit but I hate reading my own work back and so it's not as thorough as it should be and there's probably typos so lemme know. As always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see next. Have a lovely week my angels!
May 2025Â
Itâs her first ever WNBA game -Dallas Wings vs Washington Mystics- and the first thing Paige notices as she steps onto the court is that the two courtside seats right by the Mystics bench are empty. The sound of music streaming through the speakers clashes against the raucous crowds; the lights are dimmed and thereâs a riveting thrum of energy swirling the arena in anticipation for a generational talentâs professional debut. Paige has spent the days leading up to her first game immersed in basketball. Since training camps, she hasnât let herself think of anything except how to make sure the ball went through the hoops, how to make sure the person in front of her didnât score, how to win.Â
Itâs easier that way. Because then she doesnât have to think about how empty and cold her bed feels at night, doesnât have to think about how much she craves to press call on a number she knows she should have blocked, doesnât have to think about how the pieces of her shattered world are barely bound together by a tape of pretend. Paige canât think of any of that and so sheâs spent every second awake, clearing her head of all potential distractions and focusing on preparing for this moment.Â
Except, the moment is here now.Â
And all Paige can fixate on is the empty courtside seats.Â
The memories come back to her in waves; the two of them in those seats, pressed together -as close as it could be acceptable for their façade of best friends to be- as they weaved dreams of it being their turn on the professional stage. If she listens closely, Paige swears that amidst the chaos, she can still hear the echo of a promise that had once been made casually in conversation.Â
âWhen you play here for the first time, Iâll be right here cheering you on. Every single time.â
Another broken promise.Â
The truth is that the last few weeks as much as itâs felt like Paige is walking on a carpet of roses, there have been countless sharp thorns woven through the petals. Sheâs tried to avoid them -focusing on what she had, instead of what sheâd lost- but theyâd found a way to perforate through her skin anyways. And Paige knows sheâs bleeding but she canât scream, so she swallows the pain away instead. Memories of the past are piercing her feet and it feels like sheâs leaving a trail of it feels incomplete without you behind her as she navigates the journey through her present, stepping towards a future that would be nothing like the one sheâd imagined when sheâd been a naive girl sitting in those courtside seats.Â
The courtside seats that are empty tonight.Â
Really itâs exactly what she shouldâve expected. And thereâs something so final about this moment, like the last flicker of a candle that had burned in secret. Paige hadnât even realized she was still holding out for something but as she drags her eyes away from the seats and towards her father and brother who are practically vibrating with pride, she can feel the tautness of the string that sheâd held onto. Because she hasn't told them; hasnât told anybody about the breakup.Â
Something about vocalizing it had felt just a little too real and Paige had evaded any potential situation that would warrant her having to reveal the tirth. But it hits her now, looking at those damn empty seats that should've been -in another life wouldâve been- filled by her other family, that the words sheâd been too scared to say out loud -for fear of them being enshrined into reality- had already probably been spoken into existence by someone else. And it hits Paige now, that maybe sheâs desperately holding onto a rope that has already been let go of.Â
âYou good Bueckers?â she whirls around to find Arike looking at her, eyebrows raised in concern.Â
âIâm fine,â Paige lies; sheâs gotten so incredibly good at that, âjust thinking a lot of thoughts.â
Arike nods in understanding, âfair enough. But you got this dude,â she reaches out a hand to squeeze her rookieâs shoulder, âwhatever youâre thinking, when you get on that court, none of itâs gonna matter. All that matters for 40 minutes is the game and that we come out of it with a win. You gonna help us win Paige?â
âThatâs the fucking plan,â Paige smirks, earning her a matching one from Arike before the shooting guard saunters onto the court, ready for tip-off.
All that matters is the game.Â
Paige sucks in a deep breath, letting herself look over at the courtside seats one more time. This is her reality now. Thereâs no point in waiting for a regretful phone call or a surprise midnight knock on her door because itâs not going to happen. She feels a sense of hollowed acceptance as she finally turns away from the seats, plastering on a confident smile as she takes her place in the Dallas Wings starting five. And Paige is faced with the same truth that sheâd learned at a far too young age; that people would leave her but the game never would.Â
***
Dallas wins the game by 17 points. Paigeâs statline is 21 points, 6 rebounds and 8 assists with 2 steals and a block. Itâs a respectable statement from the rookie and her teammates are overjoyed. Sheâs surrounded by them as they celebrate winning their first game of the season and thereâs a sense of hopeful excitement about how the rest of the season could go. Her eyes go over the top of them to find the cute Dallas local reporter that Paige had befriended shooting her a congratulatory wink and she blushes a little bit, looking away bashfully. In the distance, Paige can make out a small crowd of people decked in custom Wings #5 jersey, whistling in excitement. Despite the home fans, their celebration still echoes around the stadium and the loudest cheer comes from her brother who stands next to her father, both of them beaming with pride. And Itâs almost enough to prevent her eyes from wandering back to the empty courtside seats. Almost.Â
***
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. With the quick transition from the college season into the draft, Paige hadnât had found time to go home inbetween. And so when the Wings had been making hotel arrangements for DC, sheâd opted to stay with her dad and Drew in Maryland instead. But as she stands in the doorway to her bedroom, staring at a wall filled with pictures that are an ode to the past - collages that are practically a shrine to her broken relationship- Paige finds herself longing for the cold, unfeeling exterior of a foreign hotel room.Â
Paigeâs life can be split into two parts. Thereâs the Before Azzi and then thereâs the With Azzi. And the truth is that there isnât much from the Before Azzi left in Paigeâs life. Every inch of her current life has been touched by the brunette, illuminated by her presence and now, itâs tainted by her absence. Especially in Maryland. Since sheâd met the Virginia native, the DMV area had always been synonymous with the Fudds for Paige and she canât remember a time when sheâd been here -when sheâd been in this bedroom- and not had plans to see them- to see Azzi.Â
She takes a hesitant step inside, eyes gliding over each photograph and itâs like sheâs being transported through time. The memories are as vivid as ever, bursting with color as they ellipse her mind. Paige can picture every moment like sheâd lived it yesterday. She can still hear their laughter echoing through the air, can feel the softness of their hands -their bodies- brushing against each other, can still taste the lingering sweetness of their lips meeting halfway as they breathed silent promises against each otherâs skin.Â
A silent sob wracks through Paigeâs body as she brushes her fingers over the most recent image of them from December -the last photograph sheâd had time to print out. Itâs one that Drew had taken of them in the kitchen- Paige propped up on the counter and Azzi in between her legs, one hand on the counter with the other resting right against Paigeâs heart. Neither of them had even noticed the little boy, too wrapped up in each other; they were in their own world like they often had been. Azziâs head is thrown back in laughter -probably at some ridiculous joke her girlfriend had cracked- and Paige has that goofy - just for Azzi- grin on her face as she gazes at the brunette with nothing but adoration.Â
The picture is from barely six months ago but they look so young to Paige, so innocent, so naive, so fucking happy, so completely unaware that in a couple of months, one hesitantly spoken word would dissolve that happiness into a puddle of rubble.Â
No.Â
She thinks that one simple word is destined to echo through her ears, like that unpleasant screech of nails scratching against a chalkboard, for as long as she still has the ability to hear. Paige hadnât even really heard it at first; it had been said so softly, so quietly, so brokenly and sheâd barely seen Azziâs lips move. For the briefest moment sheâd tricked her mind into believing it was just the sound of the wind around them. But then there it was again.Â
Louder.Â
Stronger.Â
No.
Paigeâs hands instinctively clasp around her ears, fingers tangling tightly through her blond hair, because she can still fucking hear it. Here in this bedroom, where every corner still holds a little part of Azzi -holds a little part of them- the sting of rejection is louder than itâs been since it had first hit. Because itâs not just the pictures. Itâs all the little pieces of them theyâd left scattered over Christmas break, thinking theyâd come back to it together.
 Itâs a set of Azziâs earrings -one Paige vaguely remembers picking out for her when theyâd gone shopping a couple of weeks before- placed delicately on Paigeâs dresser. Itâs the pink sweater -that neither of them are sure who it originally belongs to but like most of their clothes, is basically a shared item at this point- haphazardly thrown over a chair. Itâs that stupid book theyâd started reading together -Paige lying across her girlfriendâs lap, toying with her curls as Azzi read the story out loud- still lying on the nightstand, waiting to be finished.Â
Despite being alone in her room, Paige finds herself rapidly shaking her head. Because she canât do this. Canât spend a night in this room that had barely ever been just hers, had always felt more like theirs. She canât sleep on that bed, no when her last memory of it is being tangled in the sheets with Azzi on a cold wintry morning, their legs intertwined with each other as theyâd giggled to themselves in between languid lazy kisses. And maybe itâs pathetic of her but she canât find it in herself to unmake the bed, not when her last memory of the two of them in this room is her leaning against the wall, shamelessly checking out her girlfriend as Azzi neatly made the bed, chiding Paige for the nth time on the importance of tidiness.Â
âWhen are you gonna learn how to make your bed,â Azzi had sighed.Â
Grinning, Paige had wrapped her arms around her girlfriend from behind, slotting her face into the crevice of Azziâs neck and brushing her lips against the patch of skin, âI know how to make my bed. I just never have to because Iâll always have you to do it for me.â
Except for the last few weeks, Paige has had to make her own bed and she fucking hates it.Â
Breathing sharply, Paige slowly backs out of her bedroom, gently pulling the door shut. She leans her forehead against the cool mahogany frame, trying to calm herself down. Thereâs been a nonstop dull ache in her chest since that night but tonight feels different, like the cold hands of the past have managed to dig under her ribcage and squeeze her heart -something sharp digging into her arteries- so hard that it hurts just to exist. Paige gives herself a couple more seconds, creating half-moons as she digs her nails into her palms, before she finally pulls away from the door, heading towards her brotherâs room down the hall.Â
âYou know you really should start knocking before you come into my room,â Drew says with a mock annoyance thatâs betrayed by his large grin, as Paige slips into his room, âIâm almost a teenager.â
Despite the heaviness thatâs still lingering between her lungs, Paige suddenly finds it a lot easier to breathe. Her little brotherâs bedroom is dark, save for red LED lights and dim glow of the TV. Drew is reclined on his bed, gripping a white gaming controller between his hands.Â
âYouâre always gonna be a baby to me Drewski,â she teases, stepping towards him to ruffle his hair, laughing when he ducks her hand and shoots her an irritated glare in response.Â
âNot the hair,â he whines and then groans as his eyes flicker back to the screen, towards the game he'd been playing, âdamnit Paigey you just got me killed.â
âHey hey hey, donât blame me for your incompetence,â Paige chides.Â
Drew rolls his eyes, before reaching over to hand over the other controller, âyou wanna play?â
Paige shakes her head, gently pushing his hand away, ânah I just-â she chews at her bottom lip, shuffling her feet with uncharacteristic nervousness, âI was just uh- just wondering if I could stay in here tonight? We could have a sleepover? Like old times? Just you and me.â
Itâs heartwarming the way her little botherâs eyes light up -like heâs still the little boy that used to fit perfectly in Paigeâs arms, not almost a teenager whoâll eventually be taller than her- as he nods excitedly, scooching over to give his older sister space on his bed. Paige crawls gingerly onto the bed, hesitating for a second, before she lays her head on her brotherâs lap, curling into herself. Drew is warm and inviting and familiar and for a second she almost forgets that serrated pain shooting through her nerves. But then it all comes rushing back and Paige has to swallow harshly to keep herself from giving into the fresh new set of tears that are re-emerging on her waterline.Â
âPaigey,â Drew whispers softly as he runs his finger through her delicate blonde hair, clearly sensing somethingâs wrong, âare you okay?â
âIâm fine Drew,â she means to keep her voice strong but it comes out as broken as she feels.Â
âPaigey,â the little boyâs voice is more worried now, âshould I call Azzi?âÂ
This time the whimper escapes before Paige can stop it as she tightly closes her eyes. She knows her brother means well; know that Drew doesnât really remember Paige without Azzi- doesnât remember a time before his sister knew how to heal without the brunetteâs touch. Heâd watched Paige celebrate all her victories with Azzi and heâd seen the same hold his sister in all her tragedies, putting her back together every time she broke with promises of youâll have always have me. From the moment Drew was old enough to understand his sisterâs feelings, he was also perceptive enough to understand that Azzi was always what she needed, no matter how she was feeling. And itâs still true, Paige thinks; she wants nothing more than to say yes, wants nothing more than for Drew to call Azzi, so Paige can tell her how much she fucking misses her- how much she fucking needs her.Â
Perhaps it's pride or maybe itâs fear, but Paige doesnât say what she wants. Instead she vigorously shakes her head in her brotherâs lap, ân-no itâs fine. Iâm fine. Itâs late and Azziâs busy-â
âAzziâs never too busy for you,â Drew says indignantly, âIâm gonna call her.â
âDrew stop,â Paigeâs voice is much firmer this time as she wraps a strong arm around her little brotherâs knee, stopping him from moving, âweâre not calling Azzi.â
She could tell him now. After all, sheâs going to have to when he inevitably asks why he hasnât seen Azzi -why he hasnât seen the girl whoâs been a part of his life for more than half of it- in so long. But even though the words sit scratchily on the tip of her tongue, she still isnât quite ready to spit them out; isnât quite ready to confront reality.Â
âWhy not,â petulance coats Drewâs tone.Â
âBecause Iâm fine and I donât need- I donât want to talk to her,â Paige lies.Â
The little boy scoffs, âyou always want to talk to her.â
He doesnât know the way that simple sentence turns the cracked pieces of Paigeâs heart into dust as she tightens her grips on his leg, âDrew please- please just let it go.â
âWhy,â Drew argues stubbornly, âwhy canât we call her.â
âWe just-â Paigeâs voice breaks, as she scrambles to wipe her tears before they can wet her little brotherâs shirt, âwe just canât okay?â
And there must be something in her voice -the anguish that no amount of trying is able to hide- that Drew pieces together to understand that this isnât a battle he can win, no matter how much he and Paige might both want him to. The young boy slowly droops his body back to its reclining position, his fingers returning back to Paigeâs hair as he begins to stroke her head again.Â
âItâs gonna be okay Paigey,â he whispers with all the hopeful innocence of a blissfully naive little boy, âeverything gonna be okay.â
And god does Paige want to believe him. But the courtside seats were empty tonight. And sheâs in the DMV with no plans to see the Fudds- to see Azzi. And sheâll never know the ending to that stupid book on her bedside table.Â
She wants to believe Drew but Paige isnât sure how anythingâs ever going to be okay again.Â
***
May 2033Â
It should be a joyful moment -the three most important people in her life congregating together- but instead as Paige quietly observes the scene in her living room -Drew silently seething, Azzi fidgeting nervously with her thumbs and Stephie babbling away amidst it all- she feels suffocated by this heavy gray cloud of apprehension lingering above her head. If sheâs honest with herself, sheâs been on edge for a couple of days now, since training camp had begun to be precise. Since sheâd moved to the Bay Area, everything else in Paigeâs world had been eclipsed by Azzi and Stephie. The mother-daughter duo were all-consuming and if sheâs honest with herself, Paige had been more than happy to let her thoughts -and her heart- be consumed by nothing but the two of them.Â
It had been so easy to forget everything else and the tentative verbal three-way deal she technically had with the Valkyries and the Liberty had pretty much ceased to exist in her thoughts. That is until Angie Davis -the lynchpin in this agreement- had been selected, just as everyone had predicted, to the Valkyries. The Stanford PG had shown up to training camp with a shy smile and an eagerness to learn that all the rest of the vets on the team had warmly embraced. But all Paige saw in the girl was the ticking time bomb of a decision sheâd forgotten sheâd have to make. And it isnât just the reminder of the decision that has Paige feeling at unease; itâs why she has to make this decision in the first place, the reason behind why sheâd agreed to this deal in the first play, why sheâd been so adamant for Talia to make sure she didnât get stuck here.Â
Eight years ago, Azzi Fudd had broken her heart and Paige has spent every moment since, trying to collect the shattered pieces and reassemble them.Â
And the last thing Paige had wanted to do was give Azzi the hammer to smash her barely fixed heart again.Â
Thatâs what it had felt like when Talia had first brought up the Valkyries offer. It wasnât that she and Azzi hadnât been in each otherâs orbit the last couple of years -it was impossible not to- but since the breakup, theyâd never been around each other long enough, never quite been in the right situations, for that opportunity to present itself again. But Paige had known that if she came to the Valkyries, it would be an inevitability. That belief had only been strengthened the day sheâd visited the Bay Area. Sheâd been adamant from the second sheâd gotten on the flight that she couldnât be persuaded to join Golden State, no matter how much she respected the organization and how well sheâd fit into their system; no matter how much she adored the city and its love for her favorite sport.
But then sheâd met a little girl who had an identical smile to the one that had held her captive since she was fifteen and barely knew what love was. And if Stephie with her doe-eyed wisdom that Paige would look great in purple wasnât enough, then there was Azzi. Paige had expected Azzi to tell her to decline the offer. In a way thatâs what she wanted; the masochistic need to feel the sting of that rejection again so she wouldnât be tempted to burn herself in the fire again. But the brunette had done the opposite and Paige had known by just how quick her resolve had succumbed, that sheâd been right to fear the inevitability. And it was that fear that had prompted the verbal agreement with the Liberty; an escape plan sheâd forgotten sheâd devised.Â
Because escaping had been the last thing on Paigeâs mind the last few weeks.Â
All of Paigeâs fears and apprehension had seemed to take a backseat the moment Azzi had smiled -hesitant but real- and said she was ready to try, the moment Stephieâs tiny hands had fit perfectly into her own.Â
But she can feel it all coming back now, bubbling to the surface and threatening to spill over like lava, wiping out this paradise sheâs been in with Stephie and Azzi. It had started with the reminder of the Liberty deal but itâs Drewâs presence -his scowl directed at Azzi that feels like one of a brother still betrayed on his sisterâs behalf- that had heightened it. Her little brotherâs anger, and the genuine hurt that lingers behind it, feels like a dark reminder of Paigeâs own heartbreak.Â
Suddenly she feels like sheâs 23, playing her first WNBA game and instead of celebrating a solid debut, sheâs sobbing in her little brotherâs lap over the girl who had walked away.Â
âMiss Buecks,â Paige looks down to find Stephie crawling into her lap, âare we ready to order the pizza now?â
The little girlâs arms wrapping around her neck eases some of Paigeâs discomfort as she smiles down at Stephie.Â
âIâve been ready for ages. You were the one yapping away,â she teases.Â
Stephie pouts, âI donât yap,â she turns her body towards Azzi, âMama I donât yap do I?â
Azziâs own tense body seems to relax a little as she smirks at the two of them, âyou definitely yap Stephie-â
âMama,â Stephie protests, looking betrayed.Â
âBut not nearly as much as your Miss Buecks yaps,â Azziâs eyes twinkle with mirth as Paige splutters, jaw dropping open with mock offense, âbetween the two of you, itâs a miracle my poor ears havenât fallen off.â
âJust for that Iâm not adding veggies to the pizza,â Paige sticks her tongue out, causing Stephie to giggle and Azzi to roll her eyes at the display of immaturity.Â
Paige slips out her phone, pulling up their usual pizza place on doordash and quickly plugs in her memorized orders for everyone in the room as Stephie gets herself comfortable on the blondeâs lap. The five-year old leans her head back against Paigeâs chest, who instinctively wraps her free hand around Stephieâs waist, keeping her securely in place.Â
âSo uncle Drew,â Stephie says with a grin, slightly leaning forward as she addresses the man sitting rigidly on the edge of the sofa, âdid Miss Buecks yap a lot when she was younger too.â
âBe careful how you answer that,â Paige warns with a good natured glare in her brotherâs direction, trying to lighten his mood.Â
It works to an extent as a small smirk slips onto the edges of Drewâs lip, âoh she was a chronic yapper.â
âWhat does che-ronic mean?â Stephie asks, scrunching her nose in confusion.
Drew laughs, eyes glittering with mischief, âit means she didnât know when to shut up.â
âDrew Thomas,â Paige guffaws, âyouâre supposed to be my little brother, protecting your older sisterâs honor and all of that.â
âHey,â Drew raises his hand in surrender, âmy older sister taught me to never lie, especially not to children.â
âDid you really talk that much?â Stephie asks, turning to Paige with wide eyes.Â
âDonât listen to him Stephie-bean,â the blonde says, brushing her hands through Stephieâs curls, âitâs all bullsh-â
âPaige,â Azzi hisses immediately as the older woman bites her lip to stop the curse word from escaping.Â
âBullsharks,â Paige amends, âfake news. False advertising. I was a calm and quiet kid for sure.â
Drew snorts, leaning back into the sofa and Paige lets out a soft sigh of relief at seeing her brother relax. Her eyes flicker over to Azzi, feeling a sense of calmness when she sees the younger girlâs nervous fidgeting has stilled and thereâs a tentative smile on her face.Â
 âYou werenât calm or quiet,â he says pointedly.Â
âWas too,â Paige argues stubbornly.Â
âYes you were,â Drew presses, âStephie if you donât believe me, ask your Mama,â he turns to Azzi, âtell her Azzi. She literally yapped your ear off into becoming your friend.â
Azzi blanches, clearly shocked at having been so cavalierly addressed, and even Paige is a little surprised by the expectant âagree with me lookâ that Drew is giving the brunette after having spent the last moments practically glaring at her. But really it probably shouldnât be that surprising. Because Drew and Paige are cut from the same material and letting Azzi into the folds seems to just come naturally to both of them. And itâs so familiar to when theyâd all been years and years younger -two college students and a little boy - so familiar to the countless nights spent in Minnesota and DC and Connecticut where several silly arguments like this between Paige and Drew had ultimately ended with them both turning to Azzi -the forever moderator- in hopes that sheâd side with them.Â
Sheâd always sided with Drew -much to Paigeâs chagrin, though sheâd been secretly enamored by the relationship between her girlfriend and her brother- and this time is no different as Azzi shakes off the shock, replacing it with a cheeky expression.Â
âDidnât shut up for 14 whole hours,â she laments, her voice filled with teasing but she smiles at the blonde as if sheâs reminiscing it, reminiscing the moment that began it all for them and Paige canât help the hopelessly sappy smile she gives her in return.Â
â14 hours? You talked for 14 whole hours, Miss Buecks?â Stephieâs eyes are comically large as she echoes the number.Â
âOf course not,â Paige defends, eyebrows creasing as she glares at the other two adults in the room, âthis is bullying. Stephie,â she whines, nuzzling her head into the little girlâs neck, âtheyâre ganging up on me.â
âThere there Miss Buecks,â Stephie says diligently as she pats at the older womanâs cheek.Â
âWeâre just telling the truth,â Drew shrugs.Â
âExactly,â Azzi nods solemnly, âthe truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.â
She grins, reaching her hand out for a high five and Paige watches as Drew raises his own hand, ready to reciprocate. For a second it feels like everything is coming together; like the past could just stay in the past. But then he stops midair. The easy smile fades from his face and the previous tautness comes rushing back. He pulls his hand back, turning away from Azzi, whoâs face slowly falls back. The lightheartedness from mere seconds ago is replaced by the tension from before and that burden of all thatâs happened between us returns as a heavy weight pressed against Paigeâs heart.Â
âPaigey used to yap a lot,â Drew says slowly, âlike I said you couldnât get her to shut up and then one day,â he pauses, angry eyes darting towards Azzi, âone day she just got quiet- she shut up- she stopped yapping all the time.â
âWhy?â Stephie asks softly, her tone a mixture of concern and genuine curiosity.Â
Paigeâs arm tightens around the little girl in her lap as she shoots her brother a pleading look, âDrew-â
âBecause someone-â thereâs so much venom in the word that it makes Azzi visibly flinch and Paige wants to soothe away the creases forming in her forehead, âsomeone broke her heart. And it took years- it took years to get her back to normal, to get her yapping again. To get my sister back to who she was.â
Thereâs pindrop silence as Drew seethes at his own words and Azzi rapidly blinks back tears, until Stephie turns around in Paigeâs lap, tiny hands cupping the blondeâs face as she tries not to let her emotions show in front of the little girl.Â
âSomeone broke your heart?â Stephie looks so upset by the idea that Paige wants to vehemently deny it, âhow could anyone break your heart Miss Buecks?â
She means well -just a child concerned for one of her favorite people- but she has no idea of the dagger sheâs just twisted in her own motherâs heart as a faint whimper escapes Azziâs lips. Paige opens and closes her mouth, hopelessly looking at the brunette whoâs digging her fist into the sofa, despair embedded all over her face.Â
âStephie-â Paige tries to say.Â
âDonât worry kid,â Drew cuts in instead, his voice steady and firm, âit happened once but I wonât-â his eyes burn with fire as he looks at Azzi, âI wonât let it happen again.â
âStephie,â Paige says quietly after a moment, her gaze transfixed on Azzi whose doing her absolute best not to let her emotions show in front of her little girl, âsweetheart how âbout you show Uncle Drew around the house.â
âI donât want to see the house,â Drew says petulantly as he stubbornly crosses his arms over his chest
âYes. You. Do.â Paige grits out, trying not to curse when her younger brother rolls his eyes at her.Â
âCâmon Uncle Drew,â Stephie says cheerfully as she slips off of Paigeâs lap and reaches a hand out for the man instead, âMiss Buecks has a really cool house and maybe we can go steal some of her cool clothes.â
Drew sighs but heâs not immune to Stephieâs infectious energy. A hint of a grin sneaks through the cracks as he accepts the little girlâs offer. Stephie starts to pull him towards the staircase but the perceptive girl stops for a second in front of her mother, a cautious look on her face as Azzi musters up a grin to mollify the little girl's concern and Drew adamantly averts looking at the other woman.Â
âGo on bean,â Azzi urges softly, keeping her shaky voice under control, âgo show him the house.â
Stephie nods before gently pressing her lips against Azziâs cheeks, eliciting a deep breath from her mother, before she practically drags Drew towards the staircase, already speaking a mile per minute. Â
Thereâs a pause, filled with a combination of the quiet rumble of Stephie blabbering upstairs and Azziâs uneven breathing. Then the tears that the brunette had been trying so hard to barricade behind her eyelids starts cascading down her cheeks and Paige almost trips on her own feet as she moves towards her. She falls to her knees in front of Azzi, gently brushing her against her cheek, before wrapping her hands around her tightly formed fists.Â
âBaby donât cry. Please I hate it when you cry,â Paige whispers softly, pressing her forehead against Azziâs, âheâs just-â
âHeâs right,â Azzi cuts her off, shaking her head.Â
âAz-â
âHe hates me-â
âHe doesnât-â
âHe does,â Azzi presses, her tears falling faster now, âand he should. Paige I did break your heart,â they both flinch at the blunt statement, âand he doesnât trust me because of it and he hasnât forgiven me for it. I havenât forgiven me for it.â
âBaby,â Paige echoes again, unsure what else to say.Â
âHave you forgiven me?âÂ
The question lingers in the air as Azzi looks expectantly at her and Paige stumbles over her words, trying to find the right ones. She doesnât really know how to answer the questions; hadnât been expecting to be confronted with it tonight. Paige wants to say yes; she wants to take away Azziâs guilt so fucking bad. These last few weeks had been so perfect, Paige had convinced herself she was over what had happened almost a decade ago. But if sheâs honest with herself -if sheâs honest to the memories of every night sheâd spent sobbing into her pillows, missing the girl in front of her and resenting her for walking away- Paige doesnât really know if she has forgiven Azzi.Â
âPaige?â Azzi ask again, her voice breaking on the one syllable.Â
Paigeâs face crumbles as she looks at the girl defenselessly, â Az, I-â
The doorbell rings at the exact moment and Stephie comes excitedly barrelling down the staircase as the two women scramble away from each other, trying to compose themselves.Â
âMiss Buecks, Mama,â the younger girl hollers, âpizzaâs here.â
Paige looks at Azzi whoâs rushing to wipe away the remnants of her tears. She opens her mouth, desperately willing herself to find something, anything that could offer the girl in front of her some comfort; that could take their relationship away from the precipice of this cliff theyâve somehow found themselves on. But the right words donât materialize and instead Paige closes her mouth and turns away, slowly heading towards Stephie as Azziâs question continues to wreak havoc in her mind.Â
And she wishes she could rewind the clock and freeze them where they had been just a couple of hours ago, freeze them in a moment where the past hadnât weighed so heavily on the present. But perhaps the past had always been there and theyâd simply just done a marvelous job ignoring it. Except tonight, they canât seem to ignore it anymore.Â
***
Paige thinks pizza has never tasted so terrible in her life. The mood at her basically unused dining table is numbingly sober; even Stephie has stopped her chatter, the little girl clearly picking up on the tense atmosphere around her as she quietly nibbles away at her slice of pizza. Itâs in stark contrast to the innumerable dinners theyâd had in the last three weeks; the three of them -Paige, Azzi and Stephie in between them- at the table or the counter or sometimes even the couch, raucous with laughter and smiles. Paige doesnât understand how moments can shift like this; how last night could have been filled with giggles and grins and tonight is filled with nothing but a silence filled with too many unspoken words.
Her eyes flicker over to Azzi, whoâs making a concerted effort to keep her own everted from both Bueckers siblings. The brunetteâs question from before feels like a loud horn blaring in Paigeâs ears, one that she canât seem to find the off-switch for no matter how hard she searches for it. Theyâre barely a couple feet apart, sitting opposite each other with Drew next to Paige and Stephie next to Azzi, but the width of the table feels like it stretches for miles. Paige misses the warmth of Azziâs body pressed against hers, misses the sly brush of their hands before their fingers would inevitably curl around each otherâs underneath the table where Stephie couldnât see.Â
âMiss Buecks,â Paige swallows, trying to shake off the feeling of is this us crumbling again, as she diverts attention to Stephie whoâs smiling at her with that cheeky grin that means she wants something.Â
âWhatâs up Stephie-bean?â Paige asks and sheâs convinced thereâs magic in the little girlâs existence because despite the tightness she still feels in her chest, having Stephie close feels like a reason for her to breathe through it.Â
âCan I have a soda?â Stephie asks, using the palm of her hands to frame her slightly tilted face as she juts out her bottom lip in a pleading.Â
Paige grins, ready to concede as she often is with the little girl but Azzi speaks first, âno soda Stephie.â
Stephie pouts, âwhy not?â
âBecause I said so,â Azzi says bluntly and Paige is taken back by the sharpness of it.Â
âMama please,â Stephie begs, âplease, please, please.â
âNo Stephie,â thereâs a warning edge to Azziâs tone but Stephie doesnât pay much heed to it continuing to plead and the irritation on her motherâs face -clearly exacerbated by other things- gets more and more apparent.Â
âPlease Mama. Pizza just doesnât go down right without soda,â the little girl argues, âcan I please just have a little bit. Just a teeny tiny bit Please, please pretty please please-â
âStephie, noâ Azzi repeats, pinching the bridge of her nose as Drew and Paige exchange nervous glances.Â
âStephie, yes,â the little girl argues, stubbornly crossing her hands over her chest.Â
âSte-â
âI want soda. I want soda. Please, please, please, plea-â
âI said no Stephanie,â Azzi all but yells, startling Stephie into being quiet and making both Drew and Paige flinch. The little girl is wide-eyed for a second -not used to anything but her motherâs normally gentle way of dealing with her occasional brattiness- before her lips begin to tremble and big fat tears begin to spill down her cheeks. She scrambles out of her chair, beelining towards Paige and climbing onto her lap as she burrows her face into the blondeâs neck, wetting her shirt with tears.Â
âShhh, shhh sweetheart itâs okay,â Paige whispers to the little girl, gently rocking the two of them back and forth as she strokes her hair.Â
She glances at Azzi, whoâs adamantly looking, her face stone cold but regret gleaming in her eyes, âAz-â
âNo,â the younger woman says immediately.Â
âCâmon,â Paige says exasperatedly, âyou donât even know what I was gonna say.â
âIf itâs about giving her a soda, I donât wanna hear it,â Azzi warns, âyou canât just give into all of her demands all the time, you have to learn to say no and she needs to learn to hear it.â
âI hear you but Az itâs a Friday-â
âPaige-â
âA tiny bit of soda to start the weekend canât hurt. In fact,â Paige smirks down at the little girl in her lap as she coaxes Stephieâs face out of her neck so she can wipe away the tears on her blotchy red face, âI think a little soda to start the weekend is probably good for you.â
She feels her heart soar when it makes Stephie giggle, letting out a couple teary hiccoughs in between as she clutches onto Paige.Â
âI think so too Mama,â the little girl echoes, looking back at her mother with a timid grin.Â
âGive in Azzi,â Paige matches the pleading smile on Stephieâs face as she turns her focus onto the brunette, âshe deserves a little treatÂ
âI know what she deserves. I think I know whatâs good for my daughter,â Azzi says steely and Paige feels something cold squeezing through her ribcage, âno soda Stephie. End of discussion.â
My daughter.Â
The thing is Paige doesnât even really think she has the right to be upset over Azziâs statements. Really, itâs nothing but the truth. Stephie is Azziâs daughter and Azzi definitely knows whatâs good for her daughter. So why does it sting like this? Why does it feel like little shards of ice piercing into her heart, leaving deep gashes that have her whole body feeling like itâs freezing over? Paige knows why, knows that these past weeks had been enough to trick her mind into believing the mirage that Stephie was hers. But now Azziâs flicked her fingers against it causing the whole fantasy to come crashing down and Paige feels herself slowly getting buried under the rubble of it.Â
âRight," she says softly, trying to keep her voice steady, âsheâs your daughter and you know best,â she ignores the tinge of guilt in Azziâs eyes as she turns to Stephie who looks like sheâs ready to protest again, âyou heard your Mama Stephie. No soda tonight.â
âBut Miss Buecks-â Stephie whines.Â
âNo sweetheart,â Paige says gently, shaking her head.Â
The little girl narrows her eyes before letting out a frustrated groan as she slips off of Paigeâs lap. She loudly stomps her feet, glaring at all the adults in the room before she angrily storms upstairs. Itâs so unlike the usually even-keeled little girl that Paige thinks itâs probably a reaction to the tension she can sense between the adults. Her eyes drift over Drew -whoâs chewing at his lips in a similar manner to how his big sister often does- before locking with Azziâs and she feels that familiar guilt of thereâs always collateral damage for our mistakes pooling at the pit of her stomach. The brunette breaks eye contact first, letting out a heavy sigh before she follows behind her daughter and Paige lets her face fall into her hands,Â
It feels like everythingâs in free fall, like during an earthquake when everything shakes and the books -the complicatedly tangled stories of the past and present- go flying from their shelves. Paige rubs at her eyelids, trying to make this helpless feeling go away. Her fingers are coiled tightly around a rope, just like they had been on that night eight years ago and just like that night, she can feel the tips of them starting to bleed. She can feel Drewâs gaze fixated on her; can tell heâs contemplating whether to say something or not. Swallowing, Paige pulls her face out of her palms to look at her brother, a decisively defiant expression on her face.Â
âSomething you wanna say?â she asks him, cocking her eyebrows as if sheâs daring him to speak.Â
Drew hesitates for a second before an almost identical expression crosses his face, âwhat the fuck are you doing Paige?â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â Paige replies airly.Â
Drew narrows his eyes at her, âseriously?â
âSeriously,â Paige shrugs.Â
âThis was supposed to be a temporary arrangement Paige,â Drew says, ignoring the way his sister flinches at the reminder as he drops his voice lower so they canât be overheard, âyou were supposed to be with Golden State for one season, hopefully win a championship and then youâd be off to New York at the end. That was the plan but clearly all of that has gone flying out the window. Youâre getting attached to this city, this life, to them.âÂ
A barely believable âof course Iâm not,â flutters weakly off of Paigeâs lip as she blinks rapidly at the accusation.Â
âOh for fucks sake,â Drew curses, âPaige your bed looks like it hasnât been slept in, in days. Thereâs almost no groceries in your fridge or your pantry. From what I saw of the garden, itâs basically been left for dead. Your closet is half empty and it sure as shit isnât because theyâre all in the laundry because as Stephie puts it, Azzi says that their laundry basket is three times heavier than it used to be with all your clothes.â
âI-I donât-â Paige stutters, âthat- that doesnât- doesnât mean-â
âItâs been two months -if even that- two months Paige and I think you're in even deeper now than you were the last time,â Drew spits the last two words out bitterly like their flames on the tip of his tongue and the sparks of it singe Paigeâs skin.Â
âThatâs not- Iâm not-â she tries to justify but it sounds hollow to her own ears.Â
âYou are,â Drew says exasperatedly, âwhat are you gonna do when she walks away again? When she lets you go again, what are you gonna do Paige?â
Her little brother isnât cruel but Paige swears sheâs never heard anything more aimed to hurt than these perfectly directed arrows heâs launching straight at her heart. The defense of sheâs not going to leave me stays stuck in her throats, battling against the harsh thoughts of she already has that are taunting her.Â
âShe- I- you- this- I donât- you canât-â Paige doesnât even know what sheâs trying to say; she feels like a fish spluttering outside of the water, desperate to breathe air that seems to kill her the more she inhales it.Â
Drew looks away, his face crumpling slightly, a mixture of sadness and guilt gleaming in his eyes, and Paige can tell that he hates himself a little for being the one to cause her this torment, the one to make her face the darkest possibility of her reality.Â
âI was there Paige,â he says softly, âI was the one who watched you break in ways that I didnât even think you were breakable,â his voice snaps, âand I was the one who watched how hard you had to work to put yourself back together. I donât wanna see any of that again.â
âDrew,â Paige whispers.Â
âAnd it wasnât just her,â Drew continues, âyou lost her family too.â
Paige gulps at the reminder, âthey were still there. They came to games. They were at my wedding.â
Drew shakes his head, âbut it wasnât the same and you know it. You lost her and you lost them and this time,â he bites his lip, like he wishes the next words werenât sitting on his vocal chords, waiting to spill out, âthis time, if you lose her, youâll lose a lot more.â
âWhat do you-â Paige heistates, unsure if she even wants to ask, âwhat do you mean?â
Her little brother pauses, mouth opening and closing like itâs painful to speak, before his eyes drift towards the stairs and Paige feels her heart sinking even before Drew says the words she knows heâs about to say.Â
âYouâll lose her daughter. Youâll lose Stephie.â
âNo,â the whispered syllable is out before Paige can even stop it, âno, no, no, no-â
âPaige-â
âStop it Drew,â the blonde says louder than she wanted to as she clutches at her heart, trying to keep it whole as the tears overflow over her waterline.Â
âStop what Paige? Stop saying things you already know deep down but are choosing to ignore? Is that what you want me to stop doing?â Drew asks harshly.Â
âDrew-â
âThereâs a reason you didnât want to commit to the Valkyries and you know it. Thereâs a reason you only wanted to be here for this season.â her younger brother says firmly.Â
âI know,â Paige whispers, âI know.â
Drewâs eyes soften, âstick to plan Paige. Let the Liberty be the end goal. Youâll be in New York by the end of October.â
Paige bites her lip so hard, she can taste that morbid taste of iron on her lips as she opens her mouth to say something. Sheâs not sure if itâs to argue with Drew or to agree and she doesnât get a chance to find out. Instead thereâs a sharp intake of breath and then a quiet, timid voice laced with accusation and Paige feels the blood drain out of her body as she slowly turns around to find Stephie and Azzi -their faces ashen with identical expressions of betrayal- staring at her.Â
âMiss Buecks, youâre moving to New York?â
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die with the smile
pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader
summary: a love once haunted by nightmares finds solace in a sunrise, where promises of healing and hope turn dreams of a future into quiet, steady certainty.
warnings: !major spoiler for obx4 final!, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, establish relationship, talking about death, mention of panic attacks, no use of y/n, jj calls reader angel, english isnât my first language
word count: 3.9k
a/n: requested by this ask. thank u for request, love <Đ·. and to everyone else â i'm waiting for your requests too.
áŻâ
now playingâŠ
lady gaga, bruno mars â die with the smile
IT WAS SUFFOCATING. After everything that happened in Morocco, it felt like your chest had been crushed under an unbearable weight. Breathing no longer came easy. Each inhale was a jagged reminder of the past, a sharp sting of memories you couldnât escape. You hated sleep, hated the moments when your mind would surrender to the dark. Every night, the desert came back to haunt you, its endless stretch of sand suffocating. You saw JJ lying there, motionless, his body a broken promise beneath the burning sky. And surrounded by the Pogues, Rafe fucking Cameron, his hands digging JJ's grave, burying the love of your life six feet under.
You could still hear your voice, a fractured thing, torn from your throat as you screamed for them to stop. You fell to your knees, pleading with them to hear you, begging them to leave him there, to not let him go. But no one listened. John B, Sarah, Kiara, Pope... they just stood there, frozen, like they couldnât see the life slipping away. Of course, it was just a dream â your brain's cruel joke, twisting everything you feared most into a nightmare. But in the stillness of the night, when you woke with your heart pounding and the cold sheets tangled around you, it didnât feel like a dream at all. It felt too real. Too close.
And so, for three months, you lived like this. In the hollow space between waking and sleeping, where the line between nightmare and reality blurred beyond recognition. Three months of restless nights, clinging to coffee mugs as if they could fill the emptiness, while your eyes begged for sleep. But when you did manage to fall asleep, the dreams would return, relentless, each one leaving you more shattered than the last.
It wasn't as bad as it had been in those first two months, when every moment was suffocating with fear. When you couldnât bring yourself to leave your house, couldn't bring yourself to stop waiting for that phone call from the hospital. The one that would confirm the thing you couldn't bear to imagine â that JJ was gone. Everything had felt like a fever dream: tracking down doctors, finding anyone who could help, getting him back to Kildare, the hospitals, the bills you could never afford, the ones that now you had to face. Your parents never asked you to repay the money, but you knew how much they'd given up for it. They'd been saving for years. It felt wrong to let it go without giving something back.
And then there was that month of rehab, where the days stretched on like a never-ending ache. Sitting next to JJ's hospital bed, listening to the faint beeps of machines as nightmares still held you in their grip, tormenting you while you tried to hold onto him in the real world.
You hadn't cried once. Not in those two months. It wasnât that you didnât want to â weeping felt like you were digging his grave in advance. Like if you let the tears fall, youâd lose him all over again. But now, he was here. With you. Alive. The JJ you knew, the one who cracked jokes, who lived without fear, without hesitation. And you tried to return to who you were before, but it was harder than you'd expected. He made it seem so easy, slipping back into his old self, but you felt like you were still drowning in the wreckage of what had happened.
For weeks, you sat beside him, feeling his skin warm beneath your touch, hearing his laughter echo in the spaces between you. But still, in the quiet moments, the fear lingered. Every time you closed your eyes, you feared waking up in another cold bed, alone. But each morning, youâd find him there, by your side. He was here, alive, and you began to let yourself believe it, piece by piece.
Slowly, the days started to fill with color again. It wasn't easy, but it was better. Breathing no longer felt like a battle, and with each passing day, you felt yourself letting go of the haunting fear, the dread that lived just behind your ribs.
And you never left his side. Once, it had always been JJ who took the lead â who reached for you first, who kissed you first, who pulled you close. Now, you were the one to reach for him, to thread your fingers through his, to press a soft kiss to his lips or his forehead. It was like you were holding him tighter, making sure he was still real, still here.
"If I had to almost die for you to get this clingy," JJ teased one evening, grinning up at you as you curled into him on the couch, "You could've told me sooner, you know. I didn't know I had a personal koala bear all this time."
You smiled at his playful jab, though your fingers gripped him a little tighter. You tucked your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was like a song, a reassurance that he was here. That he was alive.
You were learning how to laugh again. How to joke. How to be you again. Or at least, almost. Because even though the world felt like it was beginning to make sense again, you couldn't shake the nightmares. They were still there, lurking in the shadows. Every time you closed your eyes, you feared that the night would swallow him whole once more.
But for now, he was still here. And in that moment, that was enough.
The chateau had become your sanctuary, a fragile semblance of home. But even here, in the quiet of its walls, you couldn't escape the void that followed you, the weight that pressed on your chest every time you woke up without him beside you. The comfort of falling asleep wrapped in his arms didn't seem to be enough anymore. It didn't stop the dreams from coming.
Every night, they came like a storm. JJ, dying in your arms, blood staining his chest. JJ, sinking beneath the waves after falling off the boat, reaching for you, but you couldn't reach him. JJ, spiralling off his dirt bike, tumbling into the dirt, and you couldn't save him. And then, there was the desert. Always the desert. You couldn't escape it, no matter how hard you tried.
But in the moments before the nightmare took hold, when you woke to the warmth of his body next to you, his hand resting lightly on your waist, his breath soft against your neck, you could calm yourself. You could breathe, steadying your heart before the panic could rise. He was there. He was alive. And you would cling to that reality until the night came again, bringing with it the horrors you couldnât outrun.
JJ, of course, remained blissfully unaware. He slept soundly, his chest rising and falling in the peaceful rhythm of someone who had earned a brief reprieve from the chaos. And you â you would lie there, bathed in moonlight, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead, needing to touch him, needing to see that he was really there. That he wasn't slipping through your fingers. Over time, the nightmares began to fade. They became less frequent, their grip less tight. But just when you thought you could breathe freely, just when you thought the storm had passed, it came crashing back.
Two weeks of peace. Two weeks of deep, uninterrupted sleep. But that night, everything changed.
The dream returned. The one you feared the most. JJ, lying motionless in the sand, his clothes stained with dried blood, his body pale under the desert sun. The wind blew the sand into your eyes, blinding you, choking you, as Rafe stood above him, digging, his hands moving with the unholy rhythm of a grim reaper, burying your love beneath the earth. You fell to your knees beside the pit, the hot sand searing through your clothes, but you didn't care. You couldnât look away. You couldnât look away from the hole that was swallowing everything you loved. With each shovel of sand, the pit grew deeper, and with it, your heart.
The faces around you were blank â pale, cold. John B, Sarah, Kiara, Pope... they stood there, frozen, as if they were burying someone they'd never known. No tears. No grief. Just... emptiness. It broke you. It shattered you, piece by piece.
"No! No! Please! Enough!" you cried out, your voice cracking as you scrambled to your feet, your body shaking. You turned to them, your heart a fragile thing, desperate for anyone to react, to feel something. "Do something! He's not dead! JJ's not dead! John B! Sarah! Please!"
The tears fell freely, hot against your cold cheeks, choking your breath. Everything blurred around you, and all you could see, all you could feel, was his face. His beautiful face, pale and cold under the relentless sand. You reached for him, your fingers trembling as they traced the outline of his cheek.
"I love you, JJ... Please, don't leave me... don't you dare leave me," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the roar in your ears. You pushed the hair from his face, trying to pull him back to life with your touch. "Please, Jay, wake up. I love you. Please..."
The heart-wrenching sob that escaped you felt like it was tearing you apart, even as they began to throw the sand over him. As they buried him. Covered him. And the world turned dark.
Someone's hands grabbed at you, pulling you away, but you fought them, kicking, screaming, dying with him as the earth swallowed your love.
"No! Please, no!" The words tore from your chest like jagged glass, but it didnât stop. It never stopped.
Then, a voice â soft, familiar, grounding. A warmth that pulled you from the nightmare. "Hey, hey, angel..."
You gasped, eyes snapping open, panic seizing you as the darkness of your dream lingered. The bed was empty. The space beside you, cold and vast. Your body trembled as sobs wracked your chest, but then arms wrapped around you, strong and steady. They held you close, pulling you into warmth, into the comforting scent of the sea and something more.
"Wake up... come on, angel, it's okay," the voice coaxed, his words gentle but firm, a tether pulling you from the depths of your nightmare.
You turned, eyes still blurry with tears, and looked over your shoulder. You half expected to see nothing. To be alone in the darkness. But then you saw him. JJ. JJ. His face was the same as it always had been â familiar, comforting, real. The soft smile on his lips made your heart stutter, and you found yourself reaching for him instinctively.
"JJ⊠you're here," you exhaled, your body relaxing, your mind calming for just a moment. But then the overwhelming relief struck you, and suddenly, you were gripping him as tightly as you could, clutching him like you'd never let go. You turned in his arms, wrapping yourself around him, pressing every part of yourself against him, trying to absorb his presence with every cell of your being. You needed to feel him, needed him to know how deeply you'd been shaken.
"I thought you were⊠you were⊠I sawâŠ" you choked out, the words barely a whisper, breaking apart in fresh waves of tears that trembled through you. You buried your face in his neck, shuddering as his hand ran soothingly down your back.
"Shh... I'm here, love," he murmured softly, pulling you even closer. "I'm with you, and I'm not going anywhere." His hand traced gentle circles in your hair, his voice a soft balm over your wounds.
JJ knew how much youâd been struggling. He saw it in your red, swollen eyes each morning, in the tired shadows that lingered beneath them. He noticed how you would sometimes drift off mid-conversation, lost to a place he couldn't reach, as if carrying something too heavy to share. He felt it every time youâd reach for his hand, holding it tighter than you used to, grounding yourself in his touch. And he felt it every night you stayed at the chateau, choosing to lie beside him rather than in your own bed, pressing your ear against his chest just to hear his heartbeat.
JJ Maybank wasn't oblivious. He understood what haunted you, and he wished with everything in him that he could erase it. Because he knew â if it had been you, if you were the one hovering on the edge of life and death... he couldnât even let himself think of it. You were his everything, his only certainty in a world that had never offered him much. And knowing you were hurting like this, knowing he was the reason, that was the worst thing he could imagine. It was worse than the death heâd nearly met.
And so he tried to help you in every way he could. He stayed close, always nearby, holding you tight whenever you needed it. He whispered sweet promises in your ear, spun dreams of the future for you both, reminded you every day just how much he loved you. He did everything he could to show you that he was here, that he wasn't going anywhere.
But seeing you now, shattered and trembling in his arms, feeling your tears soak his shirt, it tore at him. It was like a raw ache, a knife twisting deeper with every sob you released. You were suffering because of him, and he could feel the guilt clawing at his chest. Heâd never wanted this â not for you.
As your breathing began to calm, your hold on his shirt loosened, and he shifted back slightly to meet your gaze. Your face was swollen from crying, your eyes rimmed red, and he felt a tenderness rise in him that he could barely contain. He lifted a hand to your cheek, thumb grazing your skin as he leaned in, gently brushing his lips over yours, a silent promise, as if he could kiss the fear away.
"I'm fine," you whispered, though your voice was trembling and raw. JJ just shook his head, unconvinced. He bent down, picking up his hoodie that had been lying on the floor, then draped it around your shoulders. The familiar, comforting scent of his cologne surrounded you, filling your senses, and you closed your eyes, sinking into the warmth.
"Let's go for a walk?" he asked softly, his voice gentle but insistent. You managed a small nod, slipping out of bed to follow him.
The sun was just beginning to crest over the horizon as you reached the beach, bathing everything in a soft, golden light. JJ's hand was intertwined with yours, and his thumb traced delicate patterns along the back of your hand, grounding you. The breeze tugged at your hair, the salt air filling your lungs as you took slow, steady breaths, savouring the tranquility of the moment.
When you reached your favourite spot, tucked away behind the rocks, JJ settled down, pulling you between his legs, his arms circling you. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, and you felt a soft, involuntary smile tug at your lips. His heartbeat thudded against your back, steady and reassuring, and you let yourself melt into the safety of his embrace.
For a few quiet minutes, you both watched the sun rise, bathing the ocean in warm, shifting hues. Then JJ's voice broke the silence, low and hesitant.
"You know... for a second, I thought I was going to die," he murmured, his voice thick with an emotion he rarely let himself show. "When I blacked out, I thought... this was it. That y'll would leave me there in Morocco, that I'd lose everything."
JJ swallowed, as if trying to steady himself, and you could feel the tension in his arms as he held you tighter. Heâd tried to laugh it all off before, hiding behind jokes and smiles, but now â now it felt real. The memories weighed down his words, and you could hear the unspoken fear beneath them.
"JJ, donât," you whispered, your own voice catching. You pulled his hoodie closer around you, burying your face in the soft fabric to push away the memories of that day, the endless days that followed. His arms tightened around you, his cheek pressing against your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin as he drew you closer, as if he could shield you from the memory.
"No, I need to say this⊠I need you to hear it," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. He took a shuddering breath, and you felt something wet land softly on your shoulder. A tear.
JJ gave a small, shaky grin and shook his head, leaning in close to murmur in your ear. "You've been with me through everything, angel. You saved me. You kept me alive."
The words settled into you, quiet and profound, and you turned to look at him, seeing the vulnerability he was baring, the weight he'd been carrying alone. You looked back at the horizon, feeling a deep ache inside, a pull that was both painful and reassuring, like your heart was finally finding its place.
You closed your eyes, concentrating on nothing but him â the feel of his arms, the warmth of his breath against your neck, the way his fingers tightened protectively around yours. You wanted to wrap yourself in this moment, to sink so deeply into him that youâd never be apart again.
"When I woke up for the first time⊠I heard your voice," JJ's voice trembled, breaking as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. "The way you told everyone that I wasn't going to die... the way you begged me not to... not to leave you..." His words cracked, and you felt the weight of his pain seep into your bones. He was broken, and it tore at your heart.
You intertwined your fingers with his, feeling the soft, trembling pulse beneath his skin. "I couldn't die... every time I slipped away, all I could think about was you," JJ whispered, his voice raw with emotion. "That I couldn't leave you. That I love you, and I don't want to leave you..."
He gently cupped your chin, lifting your face toward his. His eyes â red and swollen from crying â met yours, and in that moment, you saw how deeply connected you were. You were both raw, broken open, and yet, still whole together.
"I love you so much, that even at death's door, I fought with everything I had to stay here with you," he murmured, pressing his forehead to yours. His hand slid down your cheek, brushing away the tears that refused to stop falling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I put you through this, angel."
You felt your heart shatter for him, your lip trembling as his words hit you like a wave. Your hands moved instinctively to his face, cupping it gently, and you shook your head. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault that life had dealt him such a cruel hand. It wasn't his fault that he had been made to suffer in ways no one should. You knew he didn't deserve this. He deserved better â so much better.
"I promiseâŠ" JJ's voice was tight with emotion, but he pressed on. "No, I swear... I will never make you go through this again. I swear it. I swear that after all this, I won't give you any reason to worry. I will always be here for you." His blue eyes searched yours, holding you captive with their intensity. The weight of his words felt heavier than anything you'd ever known. "I will be with you, no matter what. And I will build us the house you always dreamed of. A white house with big windows and a garden, where weâll play with our dog â our dog, which weâll name JJ Jr. And then... maybe a child, or two, or three...â
You couldnât help but laugh softly, shaking your head, though tears still lingered. It had always been a dream, a fantasy you shared with him, but now, seeing the determination in his eyes, it felt like a possibility. It felt like something you could reach out and touch.
"I'll give you the world, angel. I'll give you paradise," JJ continued, his voice thick with promise. "I'll do everything in my power to make sure these stupid tears never fall from your beautiful eyes again. Do you believe me?"
There was a pause. His gaze was so sincere, so full of hope, searching for any sign that you believed in him, in what he was offering. You felt a warmth spread through you, a quiet certainty in your chest. You smiled softly, your heart swelling with a love so deep you thought it might burst.
Without thinking, you pressed your lips to his, soft and slow. You let your kiss speak for you â every unspoken word, every emotion that had built up inside you over the months, the fear, the longing, the desperation, and finally, the relief. This kiss was all of it, and more. You poured everything into it, every promise, every fear, every hope, every part of you that you'd been holding onto for so long.
You held him like you'd never let go, feeling the weight of time slow down, knowing that in this moment, you were safe, you were here, and he was here. Nothing else mattered â just the two of you, together.
"I believe you, Jay. I've always believed you, and I will, because I love you," you murmured, your words soft as they met his lips. He responded with a deeper kiss, pulling you into him as if he could anchor himself to you, as if he, too, was letting go of something.
You giggled as he playfully knocked you down onto the sand, its warmth wrapping around you like an embrace. The sand, once so haunting, now felt soft and grounding beneath you, no longer a symbol of loss but one of hope â a new beginning waiting to be written.
JJ leaned over you, his blue eyes softened by the first light of dawn, eyes that were once wild and filled with fear but now were steady, full of promises. "I love you more, angel," he whispered, his voice like a lullaby against your skin, "and I'm not going anywhere."
He leaned in, capturing your lips again, and this time, every kiss melted the edges of past wounds, pushing away the darkness of every nightmare and sorrow you'd held. Here, with his arms around you and the sky lightening into the day, it was easy to believe in something beautiful, something lasting. You kissed him back, savoring each touch, each brush of his fingers against your skin as he held you closer.
For the first time in months, you let yourself imagine a future unshadowed by fear. A life filled with morning sunrises like this one, laughter echoing between you, the warmth of a home youâd build together. As JJ pulled you even closer, you felt a quiet certainty settle in your chest â a certainty that happiness was no longer a distant hope but a promise waiting for both of you, right here, right now.
thankx for reading <3
i was literally crying while i was writing this and i felt like this for the first time in my life. so, i hope you liked it. you can always share your opinion in comments or my inbox :3
- your santi đȘ
masterlist
#â santi đȘ#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank fic#jj maybank x you#jj mayback imagine#jj maybank x fem!reader#jj maybank angst#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank#obx x you#obx x reader#obx fanfiction#obx fic
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