#but in so doing they get to see through the facade straight to the thematic heart brutal as it is

[fandom-susceptible]

Is anyone else like. Genuinely torn about Sorvus being a thing. Like, I know it's a popular ship and the show certainly did feed it in the last season lmao, like I do genuinely understand it. They're both sweet and would be a cute couple. I have no problems with the ship, like there is nothing I can object to, really.

I just . . . I also really like seeing men just be friends? And be allowed to be tender and touchy and loving with their male friends. Soren gets a bit of that with Callum and Ezran, but that's got a very brotherly slant to it these days, he goes into Brother Mode with them and it's just. Idk. Some people are just straight, and cishet white men can in fact also just be really sweet himbos sometimes, and I feel like that would really . . . work for Soren. He's already written in as a character who's from this privileged background and was taught harmful shit and he's unlearned it; it fits, thematically, for me.

Besides that, if I was going to give Soren a queer headcanon, my thought still doesn't go to anything mlm? My automatic thought for him would be the kind of ace who forgets that sex is a real thing that people do. Like, he goes on about his muscles and how handsome he is as humor, but just absolutely does not compute that some people may think of him in a sexual context. He wouldn't care, he just. Forgets. Because he literally never thinks about sex by himself. And he loves people so . . . intensely and honestly that Idk if romantic love would be much different for him, if he were ace, than other types of love? Except possibly more of a desire to share his home with them, due to a feeling of safety.

My thoughts on Corvus are a little more nebulous, because I actually did have an mlm ship with him before he ever had screen time near Soren - he and Gren were the first adult couple in this show that I felt like I could properly write because they took so long to tell us Ethari's damn name, and I thought Amaya's boys being dating each other was a cute concept. Admittedly, I was a teenager at the time, and there isn't much basis for this other than their sheer proximity to each other (which is switched out for proximity to Soren after Amaya moves to Xadia).

But like also, Corvus did very much work for Amaya. Being honest and intimate and affectionate with one's friends is something she clearly encourages by just, doing it herself. So his relationship with Soren still works on the level of just being men who openly love their friends.

If I was to ascribe some queer headcanon to Corvus, there's actually a lot that could fit just because he tends to be so reserved. It wouldn't be something that changes his behavior unless he's interested in someone. So demisexual is obviously on the table because . . . basically just the inside would reflect the outside facade. I would probably go with bi or pan otherwise, something that's on the flexible side. It just really wouldn't matter unless he had a proper interest.

And obviously all of that's ascribing modern language to behaviors and preferences that none of these characters would actually use, but it makes the ideas clear to the modern audience.

Like I said, I mean Sorvus is cute, and I really can't think of anything wrong with it. They're sweet, they spend a lot of time together, they clearly have a good rapport. They're a cute duo. I guess one could argue there's a potential power imbalance since Soren is Corvus' boss now, but like . . . look I'm also in the Call of Duty fandom, I don't think I'm even ALLOWED to object based on a power dynamic anymore. That's also very easily remedied in their situation by just having Corvus formally switch to working for Ezran directly rather than through the Crownguard, and absolutely nothing about their actual responsibilities changes, Soren just isn't his immediate boss anymore. Idk. I just wanted to think out loud about it for a minute. I guess in conclusion, I'd be cool with Sorvus happening, but I also kind of love the way their dynamic is already just as friends. Anyone else feeling similarly?

[disgruntledspacedad]

Better love 🎁📣 & Bonus THAT Berna Chapter 😮 "Berna has known this since he was a young boy. One only has to sit back and observe, and the rot of humanity makes itself unmistakably clear. Any man, from the humble street beggar to the most pious of priests, is capable of being stripped from his higher self, unmade into his component parts. All men will lie, steal, cheat; just as all rats scrap and scramble, fight and bite to protect their own." - what were you thinking

Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

Oh christ. I am Chaotic Jay. Please don’t take advice of any kind from me. Disclaimer aside -

Don’t be afraid to be inspired by canon. Is there a plot element that you love? Break down what it is that you like about it, and then think about, okay, now how can I make that happen, but different? 90% of the plot for Better Love was me doing exactly this. How can I generate the same effect without repeating canon exactly? I am little more than a scavenger, Cici.

Find some patient people and just babble nonstop to them. The best way to brainstorm is to force your thoughts into enough semblance of order that it makes sense to another human being. I cannot stress this enough.

Get Scrivener. Don’t question me. Just do it.

Research. Research. Research.

Keep your eyes and ears open. Some of my biggest inspirations and saving graces have come from the most unlikely places - helping my mom get her motorcycle unstuck from the mud, or a random ass story my grandfather told me when I was a kid. 

Notebooks. Notebooks everywhere. If you don’t jot it down while it’s fresh, it’s gone. I cannot count how many times I have pulled over on the side of the highway to get out that perfect line of dialogue that just ran trough my mind. 

Obviously stay safe, though. 

Meditate and visualize. I put myself to sleep by playing out Better Love scenes like a movie in my mind. It’s probably not great for actually sleeping, but it works wonders for my writing.

Preaching to the choir here, but don’t force it. That’s a hard lesson, and one that I am still learning. At the end of the day, writing should be fun.

What was the best piece of encouragement you got?

Lol, I once got a comment on AO3 that a girl told her horny husband to wait 20 minutes babe, The Rules of Engagement just updated. 

I haven’t had an ego boost quite like that before or since!

What was I thinking during IIF11?

Mostly oh, god, I hope I don’t lose my entire audience because they assume I’m a psychopath. 

Okay, this gets pretty dark, but a lot of Berna’s worldview - men are corrupt, men are selfish, men will do what they can get away with, when they can get away with it - is straight from the mouth of my late father. Talk about a dogma to be raised with!

Berna embraces this logic, though. Knowing that men are all the same - rats, every one of them - makes it much easier to exploit them. 

The rat metaphor is self explanatory. I just love the gravelly way that Mauricio Cujar spits “rata,” on the show. I could not resist using it here. 

I also really adore the image of a young Deigo, probably a bit of an outcast, sitting back and watching his classmates and picking them apart. His entire philosophy is that men are selfish in the extreme, and that it’s only a matter of peeling back the social facade to find that one motivation, the core component that makes them tick, and he would have learned to do this early. 

That Berna is so efficient at doing this makes him excellent at extracting information, through torture and other, more subtle methods.

Creepy? Oh, yes. Very.

“Making a man sing, commanding power over his life and voice,” is a line that was in my head from the very beginning - since before I finished ROE. Berna’s POV was one of the fundamental components to If I Fall, and probably the second scene I imagined. 

I would also argue that “stripping a man to his component parts and seeing what he’s made of” is thematic for the entirety of the Better Love ‘verse.

[pynkhues]

@septiembur replied to your post “Do you have any opinion on the timing of Rio getting his nose pierced?...”

I totally agree with all of the above and I love your analysis. I also wanted to add that it has me thinking about all of this fronting being in front of other men who work for Rio. Maybe they were simply invited along to help with the body and/or to put on a show for Beth+Annie+Ruby, but Rio was using Lucy’s death to save face in quite a few ways and the scene is so entrenched in gender. As bleak as that episode is, I love how rich it is.

As viewers we can see through Rio’s facade in Lucy’s murder - especially with that picnic table scene in the episode after for context - but I wonder how many of his employees can. I think we all head canon that Rio is mad exposed to them!!! Ha, but I would adore a corroborating scene. Give us exasperated/done/totally over it Mick!!!

Thank you! And now I get to totally agree with you, haha. 

The episode really is bleak, but I love it too, and it’s one I only love more on re-watches. I think it’s such an emotional turning point that needed to happen in the series overall, not just in the wake of 2.13. The way the ramifications trickle down too via Au Jus, Max and with everything that Lucy’s phone comes to mean on a character, story and symbolic level might not be perfectly done, but I do think it’s really compelling and rich emotionally and thematically. 

But yes! I think there was a degree of fronting in that scene for Rio with his boys, and I think Rio was playing more than one game in that sense. I think he was using his boys to intimidate the girls (in a way that is extremely gendered, like you said, and gosh, I could talk a lot about how the show genders Rio and Beth in the ways that they Crime), and I think he was using the girls + killing Lucy to really re-establish his own power and that he was coming back out of his time with Turner more cutthroat than ever. (Significant, I think, because his boys – but particularly Mick – have all seen Rio let Beth off the hook far too often).

It was as much a performance as it was a punishment. A punctuation mark in every sense of the phrase, and it’s heartbreaking that it came at Lucy’s expense. 

(Also omg yes, please give us a scene of long suffering Mich seeing straight through Rio, haha).

[scuzmunkie]

Run, Little Rabbit, Run: Chapter 4

A/N: My cute, amazing, darling little pumpkins!!! I love you all and appreciate every single one of you!!!! You guys have no idea how excited I get when you guys comment, reblog or hit that heart!! I do the most embarrassing happy dance! Really, it’s quite cringe worthy! Without further ado, here is chapter 4! As always lmk if you’d like to be added to the tag list and if there are any mistakes!! Enjoy!! Smooches! Baron Corbin x OFC Word Count: 1000+ Warnings: Thematic elements, a slightly steamy scene, and as always language. Summary: Run, Addie, the Constable is coming for you..... +++ Baron let out a huff as he ran his hands over his smooth head. His wolf was screaming at him to go back to Addie, finish what he started, but Baron was far too stubborn to give in. When he made his way back to his dressing room, he wasn’t surprised in the least to find Corey lounging on the couch playing on his phone. “So, how did your talk with Addie go?” He asked, not looking up from his phone. “Interesting, to say the least.” “I noticed that she stomped the hell outta you- whoa!” Corey sat up straight, pupils dilated, “What’s that smell?!” “Huh?” Baron looked at Corey as he jumped up and started sniffing the air. He got close to Baron’s face and deeply inhaled, his eyes flashing gold. “Holy shit, is that from Addie?” Corey asked, eyes rolling in the back of his head as his top and bottom canines elongated. “The little minx’s scent is absolutely delectable.” His voice deepened as he ran his tongue over his teeth. Baron couldn’t stop the snarl that escaped him as he slammed his beta against the wall, his teeth and eyes morphed because of his anger. “Easy, alpha.” Corey said, his hands in the air. Baron snapped his head back to reality, releasing Corey’s jacket. He slowly backed away, rubbing his face in frustration. “Sorry man, I don’t know what the hell came over me.” Baron said as he sat on the couch. “Seriously? You don’t know what came over you?” Corey mocked him, earning himself a glare, “Maybe it’s because a certain makeup artist is bringing out the dominant alpha in you? The need to stalk her as your prey, to corner her shivering body and when she least expects it, when she feels as tho she’s escaped your grasp...” Baron maintained a stoic facade, but on the inside it felt like every nerve ending in his body was on fire as he listened to Corey, his mind flooding with carnal desires. “you POUNCE! Then feast on the mouth watering spoils of your conquest.” “You’re full of shit, man.” Baron scoffed. “Ok, whatever you say, but I’ve never seen you so worked up over some chick before.” Corey stated as Baron rolled his eyes. “Well, do what you want, but if I were you I’d keep an eye her. You know how Dolph gets around submissives.” Baron’s head snapped up at Corey’s reminder. He felt his blood boil at the thought of Dolph trying to seduce Addie. If only he knew that at that very moment, the Show Off had already set his sights on the timid young lady. —- As Dolph left Addie’s side, a figure was standing in the shadows waiting for Dolph to pass him. “Some things never change, do they?” Dolph looked to his left at the source of the voice. “Still leading on fragile and unsuspecting women, I see.” “What do you want, Cole?” Dolph growled out. “Oh nothing, just warning you that Corbin has already scented Adelina. Perhaps you should back off.” Michael wasn’t the type of man to get involved in the affairs of others outside of his commentary, but he liked Addie. He thought she was a sweet young lady with a pure heart and good head on her shoulders. She was a breath of fresh air. He didn’t want Dolph to get his grubby hands all over her and break her heart. “Oh really, now?” Dolph bit his bottom lip as his eyes landed on Addie once more. “So the big, bad alpha has a soft spot.” Michael could see the gears working in Dolph’s head. “Don’t.” Michael warned. “Don’t what?” “Don’t take what Baron has already staked claim to and don’t you dare hurt her, rogue!” Michael spat, his anger starting to build. Dolph didn’t belong to any pack. He was a drifter, a loner, someone who thought that they were above the laws of the pack. He was a hazard and a liability because he didn’t have the stability of a pack and an alpha to rein him in. He often had bouts of anger that had led to severe violence at times. He had to be brought to Raw from Smackdown because he tried to seduce Brie, but the one thing a wolf should never do is mess with the alpha’s luna! Baron and Daniel had approached Stephanie and Hunter about his erratic behavior and together they came to the solution of assigning Drew, Baron’s top enforcer, to keep him in check. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dolph said, feigning innocence. “The way I see it is I’m just consoling an upset young lady.” He laughed as he walked to his dressing room. Michael rubbed his temples trying to mentally prepare himself for the shit storm that was on the horizon. —- Baron hid behind a fallen tree, clad only in a pair of jeans, watching as Addie unsuspectingly jogged along another lit path leading through the woods where they currently were touring. Why is it that she always seemed to be there when he shifted?! By now, his hands, eyes and teeth were the only features on him to have morphed, however all of his senses were heightened. As Addie jogged passed Baron’s hiding place, her foot snagged on an uprooted tree root. Falling to the ground, she yelped in pain as she clutched her bloody knee. The smell instantly hitting Baron’s nose. His head snapped in her direction and before he could stop himself, Baron was running straight for her. Out of nowhere, Baron tackled Addie to the ground, laying her flat on her back, growling in her face. She screamed as she tried her hardest to push Baron off of her, her bloody hands smearing across his face. He licked his lips, her sweet blood dancing on his tongue. He immediately grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head with one of his clawed hands. His other hand slipped under her shirt, he couldn't stop himself from palming the soft warm flesh of her belly. He buried his face in her neck, inhaling deeply, his teeth skimming over the skin just below her ear. “Mmmm.... little rabbit, you smell delicious.” “Baron?!” She stopped fighting, “Wha-what are you doing?” she asked, panting hard. “We want you...” his voice slowly getting deeper, almost sounding like there were two voices “we need you.” He emphasized his words by dragging his tongue from her collarbone to her jaw. Addie moaned, turning her head, her skin exposed to Baron’s skilled mouth. He pulled his head back, his eyes somehow glowing brighter than they already were. Without warning, Baron let out a loud snarl and sunk his teeth into the tender flesh of Addie’s neck, marking her as his. She let out a strangled, pleasured moan, her body arching into his. “Nnnggghh.... ALPHA!!” —- Baron shot up from his bed, panting and drenched in sweat. “Holy shit...” he muttered as he laid his head back down on his pillow. Sighing, he rubbed his face. It had felt so real, he could still taste her on his tongue. Letting out a shaky breath, he looked at his phone as he wiped the sweat from his face. It was only ‪3:42‬ in the morning. Seeing as sleep was out of the question, he turned to mind numbing gaming to calm the beast inside him who was currently demanding Baron go find her and make Addie his... in every sense of the word. Hours later, Baron sat in his hotel room, ps4 controller in hand, when there was a knock on his door. “What do you want, Cole?” Baron yelled, not bothering to get up. “I have some information you might be interested in.” Sighing, Baron paused his game, begrudgingly got off the bed and opened the door. There stood Michael, an old bag strapped across his chest and hanging on his hip. “What?” Baron groaned out. “Can I come in?” Growling, he opened the door and allowed Michael into his room. “May I?” He asked, gesturing to an empty chair in the young alpha’s hotel room. Baron silently nodded. Michael sat down, never letting go of the bag, but instead held it securely on his lap. “What do you want?!” Baron’s patience wearing thin. “I couldn’t help but notice that you scented Adelina.” Baron sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What’s your point, Cole?!” “Well there’re few things you need to know. First off, Dolph is looking to take what your wolf has claimed, even if you haven’t admitted it to yourself.” Baron’s head snapped up, he couldn’t explain why he felt absolute rage searing through his body. The thought of Dolph so much as looking at Addie had his blood boiling. It took all of his strength to keep his wolf at bay. “Because I’ve been with this company for a long time, I know that the only reason he set his sights on her is because you’ve subconsciously shown an interest in her. He sees it as a challenge if he, a rogue, could take her from you, an alpha. Once he’s had her he’ll throw her aside, a mere pawn in his sick game. I’ve come to think of Adelina like a daughter, know that if that does happen and he hurts her, I will get justice for her, whatever it takes.” Michael looked his alpha dead in the eye, something one should never do to their alpha unless they mean to challenge them. However, in this case, he simply wanted to make sure Baron knew how serious he was. If Dolph were to hurt Addie, Michael would do everything in his power to destroy him. Baron growled in Michael’s face, forcing him to drop his gaze. “Anything else I should know, Cole?” He seethed, an underlining threat laced in his voice. Michael closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, with tears in his eyes, he once again looked at his alpha. “Adelina is sick.”

+++

My Darling Little Pumpkins: 

@haven-raven012591 @wrestlingfae @kittysilver86 @calwitch @neversatisfiedgirl @hanaslay @melinatedmuse @team-elias @lost-in-the-stories @feathers-and-flesh-and-wrestling @captainwinterwriter @imagine-all-the-fandoms @hardyfangirl3 @yndaree @belsoleleann @briqueenofthenorth @finnbalorsbabygirl @nonnirenea

[horror-movie-blog]

HMB: The Night of the Hunter

Original Publishing Date: February 6th, 2018 

So apparently this is considered to be the 2nd best movie of all time (let's hope the director's mom wasn't a tiger mom). That's right, right next to Citizen Kane. Strange thing about Citizen Kane, despite being labeled the best movie of all time, not that many people I know like it. Which, you know, is to be expected in this time and age, but the strange thing is these people aren't the type of people who would discriminate against a movie for being "old" or "black and white". And yet, they don't like Citizen Kane. To me, it's the Overrated Effect, and when you're labeled as the best movie of all time, of coarse there's only one direction you're movie will go, and that's down. As for Night of the Hunter, yeah, kind of the same thing. Now, before I dive into this film, it's important to state that this really isn't a horror film, despite it appearing on the Top Ten Rotten Tomatoes Horror movie list. Yes, there are suspenseful, creepy scenes in this film, and it takes a lot of inspiration from German expressionist horror, but this is the type of movie that best be called a thriller, not a horror film. But I already sunk an hour and forty minutes into this film, so what the hell, I'll review it. The movie is about a young boy, named Paul, who has to keep the where about's of his father's stolen money a secret. One man, a creepy preacher named Harry, bunked with Paul's father in prison, and over heard him sleep talking about the money (though he never said where it was). Harry's plan is then to get closer to Paul's family and find out where the money is hidden. Everyone falls for his preacher like charm, except for Paul, who could see past the man's facade. As the story develops, tragedy strikes, adventure ensues, and Paul and his sister Pearl must escape the mad man Harry. Let's talk about what I liked about the film. The best thing by far is Harry, played by Robert Mitchum. He's so disgustingly charming it's hard to not fall for him. Although, as much as I liked his performance when he was playing it straight, whenever he had to be "insane", it kind of came off as goofy. Like, really goofy, his screams sound like cartoon character sound effects. But like I said, whenever he had to play the sane man, good God, did he suck you in. And the second thing I liked about the movie was the direction and cinematography. I like German expressionist films for it's harsh shadows, creepy composition and bizarre sets. Granted, this film wasn't that extreme, you can tell it was deeply influenced by these themes. If the praise came solely based on the visuals, then it's praised earned. My favorite scene is when we see Harry on horse back in silhouette. Want to win me over? Have a silhouette in your film. And boy... Was that a tasty silhouette. Okay, not let's talk about the things in the movie that sucked. When it comes to child actors, you what the main problem will be; their acting. Yes, there are really good child actors and their performances should be praised if they get the job done. The kids in this film, did not. And here's the thing, I can forgive bad acting if it doesn't distract from the story. But since so much of the film is emotional, we rely heavily on a good performance to convey these emotions. The kids did not do that. Without getting into spoilers, there's a part at the end where Paul had to deliver a powerful "no". And I swear to God, it was so painfully script read it was almost funny. And that was suppose to be the peak of the drama. I hate to say this, but their acting kind of did ruin the movie for me. Also, there's the huge plot hole in the film. So I'm going to have to spoil the film, so skip this paragraph if you still want to see the film. Ready? Okay, don't say I didn't warn you. So here's the thing; Harry kills the children's mother and goes after them because the money was stuffed away in Pearl's doll. They escaped him by canoeing down the river. They stop by on land twice for food and stuff. On the second landing, they meet a nice old lady and stayed with her. Seems okay, right? Except... Let me put it this way, if someone was trying to kill you, and you're trying to escape that person, what would be your first thing you do if you meet another person? Would you just ask for food and leave? Or, and I'm just spitballing here, but would you tell this person "Help! Og God Help! Someone's trying to kill me! Here's his name! Get the police!". There's no wrong answers to this; actually yes there is and the movie got this question wrong. And here's the thing, it's not like doing this would detour the story; the story goes down this lane, it's just that all common sense if absent in these children's minds. This is a movie that thinks children are dumb. When Harry meets up with the kids a second time, when they are living with their new foster mother, Pearl just runs up and hugs his leg. This was after he tried to kill her, twice! And remember when I talked about Paul delivering a phone in "no" at the end of the movie? Yeah, that was when Harry got arrested. For whatever reason, Paul didn't want his attempted murderer to go to prison. Why? This makes no sense! I'm sure the movie had a "thematic" reason behind it, but even when there's a theme behind stuff it still needs to make sense! But I'll tell you want my biggest peeve with this movie is. After all the horrible stuff these kids been through, what is their reward at the end of the film? Nothing. That's right, nothing. Oh, I'm sorry, some stupid religious mumbo-jumbo about not having sin. Which is fine, if that's the focus of the film, but it isn't. The film wasn't about the guilt of the children holding onto their father's stolen money, it's about escaping Harry. If they just spent more time focusing on that element, then maybe the ending would have felt complete. But it didn't, they didn't even get to hold onto the money. What a load of piss. So here's what I'll say about The Night of the Hunter. It's a good film, just by visuals alone. The story has holes, but not enough to sink the ship. The kid's acting is terrible, and at times distracting, but Mitchum's performance counters that. And I will say, for the time this movie came out, this was pretty ballsy. The villain is a preacher who thinks everything he does is justified because of his dedication to the lord. This came out in 1958, granted it wasn't the height of American religiousness, but damn close to it. So the film is admirable, it should be studied, but Top Ten horror? Second best film of all time? Hell no. Not even close. 

[movieswithkevin27]

Bright

Deciding which film - Bright, The Mummy, Amityville: The Awakening, or The Circle - is worse is a tough task. The Mummy is so bad it is good, so it gets ahead of the competition. The Circle feels incomplete, so it is probably the worst, whereas Amityville feels like multiple movies slapped together. Bright, however, as the third worst (or second best, but I do not want to sound too complimentary), is old school bad. It is boring, it is horribly written, it is incompetently directed, and yet it is coherent. Nobody can mistake Bright for being multiple films or an incomplete film. Instead, it is a straight-forward film with a plot that easily mistaken for actual depth or world-building, characters who are intended to be engaging, thematic content working throughout, and a clear narrative arc that will engage less discerning viewers quite adequately and deliver “a fun movie”. However, in having seen Bright, it is hard to imagine how one could find this slop fun. A pig would think this is just too shitty of a pen to play in if given the option between its own shit and Bright. Compared to the other ⅕ star films I have seen thus far in 2017, Bright is the only film that is just not horribly made, but it is a completely horrible film. It is exactly what the filmmakers wanted to put together, which earns it some points for being less horrible, but is hardly an endorsement of its quality as director David Ayer and writer Max Landis have found a way to waste a seemingly. compelling and original idea. To accomplish this, they put it into a buddy cop film, inserted lame pop culture comedy (“swipe left” right as he swipes to detonate a bomb...hello my fellow kids), had dull action scenes, stilted dialogue, and forced racial commentary that would make Paul Haggis and the filmmakers behind Crash think Bright is too heavy-handed.

The opening act of this film pours on the racial commentary hot-and-heavy. Establishing this as a world in which orcs are hated due to their allegiance to the “dark lord” in a literal race war 2,000 years ago, Bright shows humans to be normal middle class folks, elves to be the 1%, and orcs to be the minorities in the hoods who become gangsters. Meanwhile, the LAPD has hired an orc cop as part of a forced diversity initiative, but every other cop wants to kill orc cop Nick Jakoby (Joel Edgerton). Paired with Darrell Ward (Will Smith), the two traverse Los Angeles, encounter racism towards orcs, discuss the tribalism of orcs and how they are indebted to their clans, they discuss orc culture and being “blooded”, cops want to frame and kill Jakoby, and fellow orcs call Jakoby a traitor. The racial commentary, tragically, is established even further through imagery that aligns orcs with inner city black Americans with graffiti showing images of cops killing orcs without reason. All of this racial commentary could have been fine and even a unique take in a fantasy world, but Ayer and Landis are so blunt and on-the-nose in their treatment, it often feels as though Bright reaches out and slaps the audience in the face while shouting, “Do you get it?! THEY’RE RACIST!” While the film may have its heart in the right place in regards to racism in society and the need to see equality between races, Bright is simply not film that executes on this theme well enough for it truly resonate or have its desired impact. Instead, it just plays out as a hamfisted theme that is never developed in an interesting fashion.

A lot of the films issues in following its racial commentary in a more subdued and compelling fashion is the same reason why its general plotting and originality falls apart. It all felt very surface-level. Ayer was unable to actually make things work beneath the surface, instead opting for a cliche buddy cop movie - which is in his wheelhouse, as End of Watch shows - with cliche action “the hero never gets hits” shootout scenes, one-liners, a generic group of bad guys that want to summon the “dark lord”, and useless federal agents who, despite possessing a threat, disappear for the final half hour after pin-pointing where Ward and Jakoby were within a few blocks. This rather uninteresting foundation for the film, leads all of the cliche fantasy elements such as prophecies, orcs, elves, references to past wars, wands, a dark lord, fairies, etc to just feel like a magic trick. It is a way for Ayer and Landis to distract audiences from the rather shallow and skin deep treatment of its fantasy setting it is giving in favor of exploring a rather straight-forward buddy cop action-comedy set-up. For many audiences, they will praise this distraction and even point to a shot of a dragon flying over Los Angeles as a hint to the depth and possibilities this world holds. Unfortunately, it is merely akin to putting lipstick on a pig. It is still a pig with nothing special or unique about on the inside compared to the other pigs, all it has is some lipstick. Bright is that pig (I do like my pig comparisons for this one, maybe all of the forced racism via calling orcs “pig-faced” is influencing me here), with some nice glossy fantasy elements but without the heart and soul of a fantasy film underneath.

This leads perfectly into the film’s horrific script. With forced comedy, exposition, and awkwardly stilted dialogue, it is easy to see that David Ayer was looking for his next, “So that’s it? We some kinda Suicide Squad?” through the entirety of the dialogue. Between a prolonged bromance scene, a cliche villain waiting just long enough to kill someone for them to be stopped, any discussion about prophecies (Will Smith literally says, “So we’re in a prophecy, huh?” after previously saying, “We are not in a prophecy. We are in a stolen Toyota Corolla.”), and really any joke attempt all mark true lows in Bright. Further lines such as “You need to unfuck this. Magic us to Palm Springs or some shit,” and the “it’s time to go home / “It’s too late to go home” / “Fucking kill me,” back-and-forth between chief antagonist Leilah (Noomi Rapace) and her sister Tikka (Lucy Fry) who is helping Darrell and Nick, are examples of just how horribly written Bright is, with awkward dialogue that continuously misses the boat. References to Tinder (previously quoted in introduction) and the elves having killed the illuminati additionally demonstrate that not only is Bright poorly written with awkward jokes, terrible “intense” dialogue, and continuous exposition explaining where they are in Los Angeles, who they are meeting, what they are doing (“We need to protect the wand”), regurgitating of a prophecy far too many times, and through racist interactions, but it is also a film that is trying far too hard to be “hip”. It drops in pop culture items it knows millennials will love, while trying to serenade them with the latest pop hits from their favorite “hip” rappers and singers as a means to elicit a positive association between Bright and the apps or songs the young folks of America love to use. As such, Bright comes off as not just a long music video like Suicide Squad did, but also a pandering work that consistently tries to reassert just how badass and in-touch with pop culture it and its makers are. To top it all of, the parade of cliche interactions - such as the final moment where Nick nervously tells the feds what happened without being prompted to do so - only serves to help Bright’s script become worse, solidifying it as certainly the worst element of an already horrible film.

The film’s direction and action further harms the film, both through inane and cliches action set-pieces with car chases, shootouts, and crashes, that never really capture the imagination of the audience. As opposed to his work in Fury, Ayer seems content to stick with rather incoherent, dull, and cliche action scenes - there is a scene where Leilah jumps through a glass window in an incredibly similar way to Scarlett Johansson in Ghost in the Shell - which only serves to help Bright become even more uninteresting. An already dull slog of a film becomes worse every time an action scene starts up with nothing but explosions, endless gunfire, “cool crashes”, and forced moments of intensity as the bad guy pauses just long enough to be shot or as the good guy runs out of bullets at exactly the wrong time. These cliches and rather dull exploration of a fantastical world - could we really not get some cool fantastical gun or weapon? - are what really pull down the facade of fantasy put up by Ayer and Landis. It is in these derivative shootouts that Bright screams out to the audience that this is not some adventurous or daring original film. Instead, it just another action movie that is happy to become mere white noise in the background as viewers opt to pay their taxes or bills instead of paying attention. Adding to these issues with direction, the film’s final act seems to occur at least three times with multiple almost endings that hint at putting the audience out of their misery before, somehow, finding more (and worse) content to tack onto the end of the film. This one winds up feeling entirely unending with Ayer and Landis managing to concoct new ways to keep this one dragging on for an eternity.

A dull, unredeemable, and decidedly unfun film, David Ayer’s Bright makes one wonder if he actually wrote Training Day and directed both End of Watch and Fury or if he just killed or blackmailed whoever did before taking all of the credit for himself. Will Smith finds yet another bad movie to star in and Joel Edgerton is saved by the fact that we cannot see his face through the make-up. Honestly, it is entirely possible that this was just a cliche buddy cop film until Edgerton signed on because he needed the money and demanded his dignity was saved by wearing makeup that hid his face, giving birth to this fantastical world. It would certainly explain why the fantasy world is so shallow and uninteresting. The fact that this film is earning such acclaim from audiences and is doing well enough to earn a sequel demonstrates just how starved audiences are for “original” films, willing to accept anything that slightly fits the bill.