#but in reality they are still gay losers

[autoboros]

I wanted to post so have some stupid shadows

Featuring shadowcap (@curry-sause)

[arolesbianism]

I've been digging up some one of my most neglected stories recently and I'm finally actually developing the rest of the cast after like what? 7 or 8 years or smth? I genuinely don't know when I first thought up Lace but she's been floating at the edge of my mind since then as my token true timeloop guy as opposed to Butters who doesn't rly count because the quote unquote timeloop was entirely within their control and only was a continuous loop because they kept consciously trying again and again. Lace on the other hand. Legitimately 100% powerless in her timeloop situation, as in there was quite literally Nothing she could do to end the loops herself. Some gods just threw her in a 50 year timeloop without even doing the bare minimum of telling her first and she just sorta had to live with that until it from her perspective abruptly stopped leaving her to deal with the fallout of everything she went through now that she's suddenly being forced to live a real life again. And as fun as all of that is it has been very stagnated for years because there is in fact a story and world that exists outside of and around this one plot that matter quite a bit and that I have been refusing to properly work on until now lol.

[imfinereallyy]

#38 "i was eavesdropping and i heard something i can’t scrub from my memory" sounds like it could be very funny, especially from a kid's perspective!

you read my mind, it 100% needs be a kid POV, sorry this one is a bit shorter than my usual but it was fun to write. *it actually ended up being longer than I thought cause I have a problem with not knowing when enough is enough lol* ♡

find the request game here

Lucas was going to throw up. He liked to think he had a strong stomach, he really truly did, but this was too much even for him.

“What the hell is your problem?” Max asked him as he came back to Steve’s living room.

“Yea you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Will pipes up, head leaning on his knee.

Lucas swallowed dryly, he had to phrase this carefully. “Well I was eavesdropping…”

Max snorted from her seat on the couch. “You Lucas Sinclair was eavesdropping? Didn’t think I’d ever see the day. What about the whole ‘respect people’s boundaries’ thing you rave about?”

“And I still stand by that! It’s just I didn’t want to interrupt and…” Lucas thought back to a few minutes ago. He had gone into the kitchen to grab Max an ice pack; she was having a bad hip day. When he had reached the door, he had heard Steve and Eddie talking, and it had sounded serious. Lucas felt bad about interrupting, but he also couldn’t go back to Max without the ice pack. They had been good for months now, and he didn’t want to risk it. (He knew this was ridiculous considering they weren’t really that dysfunctional, and she loved him, a reluctant secret smile confession on her end. But there was this deep part of Lucas who was terrified of disappointing her). So he was content with waiting outside the door until they were done.

Lucas really should have turned around and left.

“What if they don’t…want to be around us Stevie?” Eddie whispered.

“Baby they are just kids. They are good kids. They are our friends. They won’t be upset.” Steve murmured back.

This was the point Lucas should have turned around, but he was confused and wanted to understand.

“You aren’t even the slightest bit worried, that maybe they won’t be accepting? I don’t think any of them have been exposed to gay culture, let alone two men dating?”

Oh. Oh no. This was really private. Lucas should have really turned around but at that point, his feet were glued to the ground.

“I mean yea a little bit…they are shitheads. Especially Mike—“ Lucas had to hold back a snort, “—but they are good. It’s why we are friends with them. As much as it pains me to admit we are friends with children.”

Lucas wished he could see their faces.

“What if…what if they are more than shitheads this time?” Lucas had never heard Eddie’s voice sound so small.

“…do you want to wait a little longer?” Steve’s voice asked gently, with no anger.

“If that’s okay. I just…want to live in our bubble a little longer. Well our bubble plus Robin.” Lucas imagined Eddie biting his hair in that moment.

“Yea baby. We take this at the pace you need. And Robin already knows, which is pretty much the only person I can’t keep a secret from. And I like our little bubble too.” Lucas heard shuffling around, like fabric reaching around itself.

“Yea?”

“Yea. I think I can go a little longer without the twerps making gagging noises every time we kiss. We can wait to tell them we’re together.”

“Hmmmm should we do a practice show right now, to prepare for when we need to freak them out?” Eddie’s voice turned suddenly flirty.

“I like the way you think.” This was the last words Lucas heard before the sounds of the two of them clearly heavily making out came through the doorway. It was at the first moan that Lucas ran away.

Lucas was brought back to reality when Max snapped her fingers in his face. “Want to share with the class loser?”

Oh god, Lucas was gonna throw up at the memory.

It wasn’t the fact that they were men and that they were dating. Lucas was, in fact, really happy for them. He had never thought about it, but in a weird way, it made sense. He wanted them to be happy. And if he was really being honest with himself, he was hoping maybe this would get Max to stop staring at Steve when he doesn’t have a shirt on (a few months later, Lucas would be horribly proven wrong of this theory).

It wasn’t this kissing that made him want to vomit either. Sure, the idea of his older brother figure making out with his dungeon master wasn’t a pleasant thought, but he had witness Mike make out with El, so he was pretty immune to grossness.

No, the problem was Lucas realized with great certainty he was going to have to keep a secret.

He gagged at the thought.

Sure, he could keep a whole other dimension and government conspiracy theory a secret from his parents (and, ya know, the world), but he caved relatively quickly when it came to Max. And Max could tell whenever he was lying. But Lucas wasn’t stupid; he knew you couldn’t just tell other people that someone you know is gay. He didn't know the word for it, maybe there wasn’t one, but Lucas knew what it was like to be different. He didn’t want to make Steve and Eddie feel bad, or cause others to be mean to them. He didn’t think the rest of the party would care about the gay? Bisexual? Queer?—wait, that’s a bad word, Lucas thought—it didn’t matter what specifically, but he didn’t think they would care about the gay stuff—more like Lucas knew his friends. El and Max would have a million, invasive questions. Mike would be a dick, but not for serious reasons. More like “I have weird insecurities” reasons. It would probably be good for Will (again, Lucas isn’t stupid). And Dustin, holy shit, he would most definitely either be pissed he didn’t know sooner, or would rub it in everyone’s face that he made it happen. Both of which Lucas knew would be horrible reactions.

God, he was going to throw up. He was going to lie to his friends. His girlfriend. He couldn’t just share this secret. It would go horrible if he told, it’s not his secret! His stupid, stupid friends (not El and Max) would blow up if it came from him first. And then Eddie and Steve would be upset, he told, and they would think that the party hated them for something out of their control, even though they love them no matter what! And oh god, he’s gonna have to lie so much—

He was spiraling, he needed to calm down.

“Lucas?” Max’s face suddenly softened, like she knew he was having a hard time getting the words together. Lucas looked at her face, and took a couple of seconds to count her freckles but lost track quickly. He didn’t mind; he would to start again later. He followed the laugh lines around her eyes that weren’t there last year, and thought about trying to make her laugh.

Max said nothing as he stared, even as the guys pressed him to answer. It was strange, he was terrified of lying to Max, but he knew deep down she would understand. That she would know he was lying but wouldn’t call him out on it.

“I was eavesdropping and I heard something I can’t erase from my memory. I almost walked in on Steve giving sex advice to Eddie, so I walked away before it got gross. I forgot your ice pack; I’m sorry.” Lucas apologized; he did genuinely feel bad he didn’t succeed on his mission.

The guys started chattering behind him, asking questions and yelling out in disgust, but Max stayed quiet for a second, then said, “It’s okay, stalker. Didn’t have high hopes for you anyway. You always get distracted.”

Lucas sent her a grateful smile, and pretended to be offended. “Are you saying I don’t finish what I’ve started? You should know better, Max.”

Max threw her head back, and full body laughed. She scooped Lucas’ hand and wove her pale fingers between his. “That’s me being nice, Lucas. Don’t go around telling people that. Or I’ll have to up the ante.”

Lucas kissed the back of her hand and whispered, “Maybe I like it when you’re a little mean.”

Max blushed and looked to check if the guys were paying attention (they weren’t; they were still arguing over sex they weren’t having), and leaned over to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. Max didn’t ask any questions even though Lucas knew she knew he was lying.

Lucas didn’t let go of her hand, and quietly hoped that Eddie made Steve feel the way Max made him feel.

He deserved something special like that.

**

I need you guys to know that I had to keep backtracking to correct boys into guys, cause I’m so used to writing from an older persons perspective. But I wanted some steddie and lumax mixed together. And Lucas! Deserves! More! Attention!!!

thank you so much for the ask I had so much fun with this one.

[bwabys-scenarios]

🎄Fixer Upper🎄

Pt 29

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 28

part 29.5

A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS!! There is a lot of smut in this chapter, and the next few chapters will be a flashback to the Chimera Ant Arc!

⚠️warning⚠️: there is a sex scene in this chapter, virginity loss, creampie, oral(reader receiving), fingering, boob sucking

taglist: @fabitheraven @tsukilover11 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lemonslut @homeinmydreams @superweeniehutjrsblog @bugmomwrites @heartsforseo @lixiawinter @altaircc @itszenava @fiightforlovee @mimi-sanisanidiot @monainanuttshell @wow-im-gay @whorermoviestar @lightshowerrr @mama-m1na @nenggie @wicked-binch @jamayah @themanicwriter01

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The week was taking forever to pass by, Kurapika becoming more antsy by the day. Killua watched as the blonde nearly tripped staring at (Name) as she passed by.

“Jesus Christ man, I know you’re like head over heels in love with her, but can you at least watch where you’re going? You nearly spilt coffee on my Minecraft creeper slippers.”

Alluka giggled, circling the blonde. “You like (Naamee), you like (Naaamee)!”

The blonde turned bright red, trying to quiet the girl as (Name) turned back around. “Hmm? What were you saying Alluka?”

Killua patted Alluka’s shoulder, giving her a look. “Oh… nothing, big sis.”

Incidents like this happened nearly daily. Kurapika couldn’t help swooning every time she walked by, and sighing like a wife whose husband left for war when she left.

“She’s only been gone for 15 minutes, Kurapika.”

The blonde huffed. He had just been peeking out the window and Killua felt the need to tease him. “I just miss her, is that a crime?”

“No, but being a clingy loser is.”

(Name) got back a few minutes later, carrying a few grocery bags. She was immediately greeted by Kurapika, who took the bags and hovered around her like a lovesick puppy. “Did you miss me that much, Pika?”

She gave his cheek a peck as she put away the nutmeg and cookie mix. Kurapika had been by her side at all times for the past few days, wanting to cuddle, kiss, or hold hands as much as possible. It was like he was making up for lost time.

After putting up the groceries, (Name) was pulled towards the couch so he could “discuss their Christmas plans”. In reality, it was an excuse for him to lay his head in her lap while she talked and played with his hair.

“(Name)…”

She combed through his hair with her fingers, humming softly. “Yes, Pika?”

Kurapika glanced at the newly set up Christmas tree, its branches still bare. He stayed quiet for a second before speaking, his voice now softer, almost sounding nostalgic. “The Kurta… we didn’t celebrate Christmas, but… we still had similar traditions during the winter.”

(Name)’s eyes widened, her hands pausing before resuming. Kurapika almost never brought up his clan unless it was in reference to his revenge, so she was a little surprised. “What traditions were they?”

“… we would decorate the trees in our village. Each family had their own tree to grow and take care of throughout the year, and during winter we would decorate it with jewelry and handmade ornaments. When… I discovered the massacre, not only had they killed my family, they burned down our homes and trees. It’s stupid, but… when I searched the rubble of my home after burying the dead, seeing my childhood ornaments burnt to a crisp made me cry. It was something I never thought I would lose, I took the little things for granted.”

(Name) cupped his cheek gently. As he spoke, Kurapika’s eyes began to water, before tears freely fell.

“It’s not stupid, Pika. That was something important to you, a hint of normalcy that you never thought would be ripped away. It’s okay to be upset with it, small things like that made up your life.”

Kurapika leaned into her touch, allowing her to comfort him with her warmth. “Pika… you know, we could make ornaments together… if you wanted.”

He let out a shaky sigh, turning to bury his face into her stomach. “That… would be wonderful, (Name).”

She smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to the side of his head. “We’ll pick up the supplies when we go in our date this Saturday.”

‘Our date…’

He nuzzled against her, his arms wrapping around her waist to gently squeeze the fat of her hips. “Sounds like a plan…”

It felt like being in the Hunter Exam again. He was so soft and sweet with her, wanting to snuggle and cuddle with her every second he could. Although they still struggled with kissing due to their shyness, hugs and cuddles were becoming common place.

Before they knew it, the day of their date had come. The entire day, Kurapika paced around, taking an extra long shower. After he got out, he dressed himself in a pair of sweatpants and a tanktop so he could get some work done. It was only 12 pm, their date was supposed to be at 5 pm.

“Ah, where are my shoes…”

Kurapika looked up from his laptop, raising an eyebrow as he watched (Name) pull on an ugly Christmas sweater over a tanktop. “Our date isn’t until 5 pm, why are you getting ready? Are you going somewhere?”

The blonde had grown even more attached than he had been during the Hunter Exam, wanting to be near her or at least know where she was at all times.

“That’s none of your business.”

Kurapika turned to see Killua wearing a matching Christmas sweater, carrying Cornbread the cat in one arm, and a cat carrier holding Meatloaf in the other. By the looks of his scratched up hand, Kurapika knew Killua probably attempted to carry Meatloaf by hand the first go around.

“Are… are the cats wearing sweaters too?”

“Yeah, and what of it? It’s cold.”

(Name) rolled his eyes at Killua’s sassy remark. “We’re going to take pictures at the mall with the cats.”

Kurapika nodded slowly, starting at Meatloaf as she growled in the carrier. “Uh huh…”

He turned to (Name) looking a little shy. “Can I come?”

“Oh hell no! This is a mother and son trip, no deadbeats allowed!”

“Killua!”

She folded her arms at the boy, frowning. “I know you’ve been excited for this, but there’s no reason he can’t tag along. You should be nice baby, it’s almost Christmas.”

Killua cursed under his breath, mumbling something about Kurapika ruining things before he sighed. “Whatever, but he can’t cling to you the whole time. It’s annoying.”

Kurapika glanced down to his arm wrapped around (Name)’s waist, and reluctantly pulled it away. “… I don’t… I don’t cling to her.”

“Yeah, whatever you say.”

(Name) held onto Kurapika’s hand, smiling softly. “I don’t mind it, Kurapika. I like that you want to be close to me.”

His cheeks erupted into a blush, and he could only nod, lightly squeezing her hand as they walked to the car.

Killua and (Name) sat for pictures, Cornbread in Killua’s lap and Meatloaf in (Name)’s. They both smiled, though Meatloaf spat and hissed at both Killua and the photographer. “Aww, these pictures are going to be so cute!”

Kurapika watched from behind the camera, peeking at the two. (Name) seemed so happy, and Kurapika found the way she held Meatloaf in her arms like a newborn baby quite cute.

“Can I… get in one of these pictures?”

Killua seemed personally offended by Kurapika’s question, scrunching up his face. “Um… are you a mother or a son to anyone here? No? Yeah, get back behind the camera. You might break the lens.”

(Name) gasped, pinching Killua’s cheek. “Killua, that’s way too mean, even for you! Come here Pika, I’ll take a picture with you.”

Killua grumbled, holding his cheek as he walked away with the cats. Kurapika raced towards (Name) quickly sitting next to her and pulling her close for a picture.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, taking the chance to lightly squish her hips before resting his hands on her stomach.

After the photos, the group got them developed and made their way home. “Aww, Killua, Meatloaf was looking at you in this one!”

“I think she wanted to eat me.”

(Name) glanced back at the cat, grimacing as it growled at Kurapika from its carrier. “Well… she’s got her muzzle on. You’re… probably safe.”

To be safe, (Name) carried Meatloaf in, cooing softly as she helped her out of the carrier. The cat purred in her arms, kneading at her Christmas sweater. “There, there, sweetheart. I know, it was a stressful day wasn’t it?”

She placed Meatloaf on the floor, Kurapika stepping out of the cat’s way. Over the past few months, he learned to avoid the cat to keep the peace.

They still had a few hours left until their date, so Kurapika locked himself in his room to get ready.

———————

“Oh… is that what you’re wearing?”

Kurapika frowned as Leorio inspected his clothes with a raised eyebrow. “I want to look nice, this is our first real date.”

“Yeah, but you’re going Christmas shopping, not ballroom dancing.”

The blonde had put on the tailored suit he got when shopping with Leorio and (Name) last week. “Haha, real funny. She said I looked handsome in this.”

“Kurapika, she thinks you look handsome in anything. I saw her blush when you came home covered in blood.”

A blush spread over Kurapika’s cheeks. “Really? I… think she looks gorgeous in anything. Or nothing.”

“Dude. Killua is right there.”

Killua stood by the door, holding his overnight bag with a horrified look on his face. He wordlessly backed away and walked back towards his room. They could hear Alluka questioning him about his disturbed expression.

“Ahh… I didn’t see him there.”

“Clearly.”

The blonde combed his hair, looking at himself in the mirror. Since he’d been living with (Name), the dark circles under his eyes had grown smaller, and his hair was much softer and healthier. Although it was still long, she’s given him a trim last month to get rid of any split ends.

Kurapika was still insecure, though. He was awfully pale, and still thinner than he was “supposed” to be. His old suit hadn’t only been torn and bloody, it had also been slightly baggy on him. He was still trying to take better care of himself, and (Name) sure was helping by making sure he ate three scare meals a day, along with snacks. He had gained a few pounds, finally able to wear some of his clothes without them sagging as badly.

He didn’t think he looked very handsome, but the memory of (Name)’s words made his face flush again. Maybe it was okay if he struggled to see his own self worth. He had her. That was enough, right?

The blonde stepped out of his room, standing in the living room. “(Name), I’m ready.”

“Coming!”

He heard the jingling of her keychains as she came running downstairs, the smell of her perfume the second thing he noticed.

The third thing he noticed was that she was wearing the cardigan she wore during the Hunter Exam and a pair of jeans.

(Name) was smiling as she reached the final step, although she looked a little confused at his formal getup. “Pika, sweetheart, you do know we’re going shopping, right? Wouldn’t you rather be comfortable?”

He blushed, looking down at himself. Kurapika could imagine getting sweaty, or having sore feet after wearing his nice shoes all day. “Yeah, you’re right (Name)…”

Kurapika sulked back to his bedroom, (Name) following behind. He only noticed when he turned to close the door, seeing her standing right in front of him. “(N-Name)? What-“

She shushed him, sitting him on the bed. “I’ll find you something to wear, okay? Just sit there looking pretty for me.”

His face turned bright red as she rummage through his closet, the blonde unable to speak. His cock grew hard at her compliments, and he cursed his body for being so sensitive when it came to her.

“Hmm…”

She took out a light, peach colored sweater and some gray jeans. “This with your coat should be good. Come here…”

She stood in front of him, cupping his cheeks teasingly before moving her hands down to his tie, undoing it. Kurapika felt his entire body heat up, the bulge in his pants growing. “W-what are you doing!?”

“I’m helping you get ready for our date, Pika. I have to make sure you’re nice and comfortable, don’t I?”

As she spoke, she began unbuttoning his shirt, her hands slipping beneath the white fabric to caress his chest. “Oh, angel…”

His voice was soft and affectionate, with a tinge of lust underlying his words. Kurapika’s hands met hers, holding them gently. “If I let you do that, we may not make it to our date. I won’t be able to control myself.”

With a kiss to her forehead, Kurapika sent her away. “Wait for me outside, I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

(Name) waited for him in the van, her cheeks warm and a fond smile on her face. ‘Maybe… he really does like me.’

————————

The two arrived at the mall right on time. Kurapika ran to open her door for her, his cheeks a soft pink as he helped her out. “Oh, what a gentleman. Thank you, Pika.”

He looked away, keeping a soft grip on her hand. “… you’re welcome, (Name).”

The mall was crowded more than usual, but not as bad as when they went on their midnight trip last week. Even so, Kurapika kept a protective arm around her waist as they walked through the mall.

“So, where should we start first?”

(Name) hummed, pulling out her shopping list. “Well, why don’t we start with getting the supplies to make ornaments?”

Kurapika paused, a warm and fuzzy feeling taking over his body. “That’s… a great place to start.”

Kurapika guided her through the crowds of people to where they needed to go. (Name) looked around at the rows of Christmas decorations and ornaments, finally spotting some plain white and clear ornaments. “Ooo, we can paint these and place glitter or little objects in the clear ones!”

She held them up, giggling. Kurapika nodded, picking up a pack of clay and paint. “I’d like to hand make some as well… my people were artisanal, when we went into the outside world, we sold textiles and pottery, along with paintings.”

(Name) nodded, placing everything in the basket. “Okay, now just to get some glitter and other little things…”

Kurapika couldn’t help but feel excited about what the future held. He couldn’t wait to make ornaments again and have memories that he could build up again.

“Mmm… next is a big gift for Alluka…”

The spent a few hours shopping before they settled down to eat some cheap fast food at the food court. As Kurapika bit into his burger, he realized just how different the date Illumi and (Name) had to theirs.

Illumi took her to a fancy restaurant where they ate expensive food and wore nice clothes, while Kurapika and (Name) were dressed in jeans and sweaters as they wolfed down burgers and French Fries.

For a moment he almost felt a bit embarrassed. Maybe Illumi was better than him?

Then he saw (Name) smile and laugh, her eyes twinkling. She didn’t look at Illumi like that once during their date, and upon further reflection, Kurapika realized she looked pretty uncomfortable the entire time.

Now, with Kurapika, she smiled brightly and giggled, her chubby cheeks warm. She was happy to spend time with him, no matter where it was or what they were doing.

“You’re really cute, (Name). I don’t think I could ever get tired of hearing your laugh.”

She blushed, giving him that pretty smile of hers. “I could say the same about you, Pika. Hearing you laugh makes me feel so happy.”

He was caught off guard with how sincerely she stated that, causing his cheeks to redden. “O-oh… I… want you to be happy all the time, I guess I’ll try to laugh more often.”

The two looked at each other for a moment before they both bursted out in laughter, having to bend over and hold their stomachs. “P-Pika please, my tummy hurts, haha!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

She wiped a tear from her eye, leaning back in her chair. Kurapika thought she looked gorgeous like this, her face warm from laughter and her eyes bright. If he was being honest, he would find her beautiful in any circumstance, she was his angel, the one he loved more than anything.

“Mmm… I think we got everything on the list. How about we grab some hot chocolate and cookies then head home?”

“That sounds good to me, angel.”

As they picked up their hot chocolate and cookies, Kurapika quirked an eyebrow at (Name), peeling into the bag. “You only got enough for the two of us. You usually get some for Killua and Alluka too.”

(Name) smiled, grabbing the bag before holding onto his hand with her free one, giving it a gentle squeeze. “They went to stay with Leorio for the night. It’s just going to be us at the house.”

A chill went down his spine, and he was sure she noticed the he gulped as his cheek turned red again. “Is that so?”

She nodded, tugging him towards the mom van. “Mhm, just us. We can watch some Christmas movies and snuggle on the couch with no interruptions! Killua usually would come sit between us like some kind of chaperone!”

She said this with a playful huff. “It’s weird, he acts like you’re going to pounce on me or something.”

‘Ah, he’s not wrong to think that, honestly…’ Kurapika thought, looking away. The bulge in his pants had returned, and he was just glad to be wearing an oversized sweater.

‘The thing I said during the fall get together probably didn’t help anything…’

They got into the mom van and drove home, sipping on their hot chocolate and snacking on cookies.

———————

Kurapika carried in most of (Name)’s shopping bags, insisting that she just get the Christmas movie started while he placed them in her closet upstairs. When he came back downstairs, she was heading up. “I’m going to change into my pajamas! The movie is already starting, so you can get changed and we can meet back up!”

The blonde nodded, watching her hips as she ran up the stairs, tripping on the same step she always did. He had to bite his lip to prevent himself from laughing.

After getting into comfortable pajamas, the two sat on the couch together, a few feet apart. They were both nervous, the energy a bit different than it had been the other times they’d been together.

After about 10 minutes into the movie, (Name) scooted closer, leaning her head on his shoulder. Kurapika felt his heart pounding. She smelt so good, like hot chocolate and vanilla, along with her usual fruity perfume. It made him feel soft, and before he realized it, he had wrapped an arm around her to bring her closer.

“Mmm…”

He nearly whimpered when he felt her bury her face into his shoulder, her soft warm breath tickling his neck. “Pika…”

She planted a little kiss on his shoulder, her chubby cheek resting against him. “Can I… sit in your lap?”

Kurapika’s brain short circuited upon hearing her request, his face heating up to the point his entire face was now red. (Name) took his silence as him being uncomfortable with the question, and immediately pulled back. “N-never mind, I didn’t men’s t-“

She yelped when the blonde pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her plush frame. He rested his flustered face on her shoulder, trying to calm his breathing. “Please… just let me hold you. Stay…”

(Name) relaxed, returning the embrace. Her plump thighs were on either sides of his, her knees resting on the couch. He nearly shivered when she finally sat down completely, his hands falling to her hips to keep her in place.

It took Kurapika a moment to calm himself down, and when he did he looked up to see her gazing at him in a way that made his heart race. It was pure adoration and love, something he hadn’t experienced since he was a child. “(Name)…”

He cupped her cheek, his other hand lightly squeezing her hip. “You’re… everything to me.”

Her breath hitched, and they began leaning into each other. “Pika…”

When their lips met, he couldn’t help put pull her flush against him, feeling her breasts squish against his chest. “Mmm…”

His hands began to wander to her ass. Kurapika gave it a quick squeeze, making (Name) yelp. He took this as a chance to slip his tongue into her mouth, dancing with hers. She tasted sweet, like the hot chocolate and cookies they had earlier.

She could feel his bulge pressing into her, and she even lightly rocked her hips against him, causing him to moan into the kiss. His hands shot to her hips, helping to guide her over his bulge.

When they pulled away to breathe, his hands moved to her shirt, yanking it off. He nearly choked when he realized she wasn’t wearing a bra, her soft breasts now on full display for him. “(Name)…”

He glanced up at her, the blondes eyes widening in surprise when she guided his hands to her chest, placing them over her ample breasts. “Please.”

Kurapika took in a shaky breath as he gave her breasts a light squeeze, his hands trembling lightly in excitement. They were softer than he could have ever imagined, and fit in his hands perfectly, almost like she was made just for him.

His thumbs brushed over his nipples, the blonde neatly shuddering when he felt them harden under his gentle touch. The little whimper that left her lips was enough to encourage the shy Kurta to continue.

He wanted to kiss every inch of her body, so before he knew it he was leaning forward to press his lips into her breast, his tongue lapping at her nipple. “M-Mmph, Pika!”

Her face was hot, and she could feel the wetness pooling between her thighs as he looked up at her with those scarlet eyes, his mouth latching around her nipple. His tongue danced around her sensitive nipple, his other hand lightly pinching and tweaking the other. “Gorgeous… you’re beautiful…”

After releasing her breast with a soft “pop” from his mouth, he moved to sucking on her neck, giving her little bites and licks. By the time he was done, (Name) was a panting mess and her neck was covered in love bites and hickeys. Kurapika was also feeling the heat, and he was sure she could feel his bulge pressing into her clothed pussy.

“I want you, (Name)…”

He stared up at her, his eyes a brilliant shade of scarlet, the unique shade only she got to see. No one else got to see Kurapika’s eyes like that, they only turned that specific shade when he was looking at the one he loved.

“I… I want you too, Pika… I need you.”

He had been waiting for this moment for so long, and now that he finally had her in his arms, the blonde almost get overwhelmed.

Kurapika had hurt her, more than once, and he never would have thought he would have a second chance at this thing called love, especially not with her. He didn’t deserve her, not one bit, but he was determined to have her. Maybe he was being selfish by loving her, but in that moment he didn’t care. Her body was pressed against his, and he wanted her more than anything.

He scooped her up in her arms, smiling a little when her thighs wrapped around his waist. “My room or yours?”

She buried her face into the crook of his neck, humming softly. “Doesn’t matter…”

Kurapika squeezed her thighs when she began nipping at his neck, her soft lips brushing against his jaw as he walked upstairs. “A-angel, please, ah!”

He bit his lip when she nibbled on his ear. The blonde hurried up the stairs, his body trembling from her kisses and nibbles.

He figured her room would be more familiar and therefore more comfortable for her, so he passed his room and made his way to hers,

The door was kicked open, and the two fell onto the bed, their lips meeting again in a flurry of kisses. He couldn’t keep his tongue out of her mouth, not when she tasted so sweet and felt so good.

He blushed when he felt her tugging at his shirt. Kurapika knew sex meant getting naked, but he couldn’t help but hesitate. He wasn’t exactly the most confident in his appearance, but with one look at (Name)’s lust filled eyes he was tearing off his shirt in a hurry, quickly moving to unbutton his pants.

She pulled him back in for another kiss, pulling his hips into hers, letting his clothed cock run against her clothed pussy. “F-fuck (Name)…”

He groaned, holding onto her hips as he moved against her. “Need these off, now…”

He yanked down her pants with shaky hands, making her whine softly when her soaked panties were exposed to him. She hid her face away in embarrassment and tried to close her legs, but he pried her thighs open.

Kurapika couldn’t speak, his heart running a millions miles a minute. He was so close to her wet heat that he could smell her arousal. His actions had caused this. His.

It was enough to make his cock twitch in excitement at what was to come. “Need it…”

His voice was hoarse, like a man that had been wandering through the desert for years on end. “Pika…”

She blushed as his thumbs hooked under her panties, giving him a little nod when he looked up at her. With her approval, he pulled them down, his breath hitching at the sight before him.

She was soaking wet, her pussy drooling, all because of him. He leans down, his face hovering above her cunt as she peeked at him through her hands. Feeling a surge of confidence, he met her eye as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss into her pussy, his tongue flicking out to lick her clit.

Her eyelashes fluttered as her hips rose to meet his lips, a whine leaving her lips. She was shy and needy, all in one, and Kurapika wasn’t the type to tease, especially when he wanted this just as much as she did.

Without further ado, he buried his face into her cunt, his mind going fuzzy when he got a good taste of her. “Mmm, mm…”

He was losing himself, letting out a moan when he felt her thighs squish his face.

“Ahh!”

Her hands shot out to tangle themselves in his hair, causing him took look up at her with hazy, pussy drunk eyes. Kurapika kept his tongue on her clit, remembering how she masturbated when he watched her.

She let out a whiny moan when he inserted a finger into her. The blonde’s eyes widened at just how tight she was. He’d done his research and knew that virgins were tight, but there was only so much a book could prepare him for. It didn’t prepare him for the way she bucked her hips into his face, of the way his body reacted to the taste of her pussy and the sound of her mewling moans.

“Pika, I’m mmph- close!”

He glanced back up at her, seeing just how hot her face was. She was looking down at him with half lidded eyes, her lips parted to pant in pleasure.

He wasn’t experienced at eating pussy, but (Name) was already so close to cumming. It made his chest swell with pride, and he added another finger to get her even closer to the edge, curling them just like Leorio said to.

This made her call out his name, her walls tightening around his fingers. “P-Pika, cumming!”

He could feel precum oozing from his tip as he lapped up her cum. In the future, he would take a lot more time between her legs, but right now, he needed her desperately.

Kurapika wiped his mouth before moving up her body to get a good look at her post-orgasm face. It was quite the sight to behold, and he was amazed that he was able to cause it.

“You taste amazing…”

She blushed, burying her face in his shoulder. He could tell she was a bit nervous at what was to come by the way her thighs tremble around his hips. “(Name)…”

He cupped her cheek, brushing away a tear that fell down her cheek. Kurapika felt his heart drop. Had he been too pushy? Was she crying because of him? Seeing her cry made his protective instincts flare up, and he was quick to attempt to soothe her.

“We don’t have to keep going if you’re scared, (Name). I’ll stop the second you tell me to, angel.”

She shook her head, her hands going to his boxers to lightly tug at them. “N-no, I want you… I’m just nervous.”

He laughed, resting his forehead against hers. “Me too.”

They shared a smile before Kurapika kissed her again. It was a lot gentler this time, with light caresses and touches as their lips locked. He wanted her to feel safe and loved. Kurapika loved her more than anything after all, and he wanted their first time together to be special. He couldn’t say he loved her through words yet, but maybe he could say it through his actions.

“You’re gorgeous…” he said softly, his hands running over the sides of her body, past her chubby tummy and plump hips, resting on her plush thighs. Her soft flesh turned him on more than he cared to admit.

With a few more tugs, his underwear was off, and (Name) caught a glimpse of his cock for the first time. She had jerked him off before, but hadn’t actually see it since his dick since it was in his underwear, but now it was on full display for her.

He seemed nervous when she stared, only relaxing when she reached out to touch it. His breath hitched, a groan leaving his lips as she stroked him lightly. “Pretty…”

His cheeks flushed at the compliment, and he quickly but gently pushed her hand away. “I-If you keep that I’m going to cum…”

She giggled, pulling him forward his tip brushed against her folds. “Then let’s get started, Pika. Just… be gentle, please…”

He nodded quickly, his fingers interlocking with hers as he looked down. Kurapika bit his lip as his cock prodded at her pussy, the feeling of her juices coating his tip enough to make him cum. It was all he could do to hold back, the blonde glancing up at her again for permission as he positioned his cock at her entrance.

“Are you ready, (Name)?”

She nodded, kissing his cheek. “I am… I’ve wanted this for so long…”

Kurapika stared down at her with those scarlet eyes of his, his cheeks a dark red. “I need you… I’ve needed you my whole life.”

He touched her forehead to his as his cock sunk into her inch by inch. He didn’t mind that she was gripping his hand too hard or that she was whining softly. “I know, angel… shh…”

Whne tears of pain beaded in her eyes, he kissed them away, pushing his own pleasure away to tend to her. Even though she was squeezing his cock so deliciously, he pushed in slowly. He wanted to pound into her, to watch her breasts bounce as he fucked into her, but he wouldn’t. Not tonight.

When he bottomed out, he kept a hand on her tummy, pressing kisses into her neck and cheeks. “F-fuck… doing so good, angel.”

His inexperience was starting to show with the way his chest rose and fell, a soft panting leaving his lips. “M-Mmph, (Name)…”

It was arousing to see how his body was reacting to hers, the way she watched his eyes get hazy and his cheeks go red. Those scarlet eyes were proof of how strongly he was feeling, and she wanted to believe it wasn’t just lust. “Pika…”

The both leaned into each other, their noses brushing against each others tenderly. “I love you…”

This was said tenderly, her voice soft as she looked up at him. He felt his eyes widen and she could feel his cock twitch inside of her. She said she loved him before, and even though he’d heard her say it in a romantic way before, this felt different. She loved him, in the way lovers do. Sexually, romantically, all of it, she wanted him in every way she could have him. It made him want to cry, he had never been loved in this way before.

To be desired and needed in such a way was something Kurapika never though he would experience, and the blonde choked up, tears falling down his cheeks. “(Name)… oh angel…”

Kurapika peppered kisses along her neck and jaw, his fingers sinking into the fat of her thighs. “Pretty… so pretty…”

She whimpered, pulling his attention back to her face. With a light bucking of her hips, she signaled exactly what she wanted.

He took a deep before lightly pulling out before pushing back in, the mewl that left her lips making his hips stutter. Kurapika wanted to hear that pretty sound over and over, so he began thrusting in and out, keeping his hand over her tummy.

That thought he’d been trying to push away came back to his mind as her pussy clenched around him. The image of her with a little baby bump, smiling and laughing as held each other close. It was enough to make precum leak into her from his needy cock.

‘W-wanna… wanna…’

He moved faster, holding her legs over his shoulders as his instinct took over. Kurapika watched as his cock sunk into her, biting his lip.

‘Wanna get her pregnant…’

“Pika.. f-fuck, gonna-!”

He shuddered, feeling her walls flutter around him. “M-me too, angel… let’s cum together…”

Kurapika didn’t want it to end so soon, but he knew they wouldn’t last long with them both being inexperienced virgins, so he let go, the last thought he had before cumming being the desire to impregnate her.

His eyes squeezed shut and he groaned, pounding into her pussy as they came together. She whimpered at the filling of his cum filling her up, painting her walls white. Even after he finished cumming, it took him a moment to stop. Thrusting in and out of her felt so fucking good, he never wanted to stop, but he knew he had to. One look at her exhausted face was enough to calm his racing heart.

The blonde gave her a tired smile, leaning down to kiss all over her face before he pulled out. He wanted to stay inside of her, his instincts telling him to plug her up so his seed could stay inside of her, but his need for comfort and snuggles outweighed that.

He laid on his side and pulled her to his chest, his body feeling hot and tired, but good at the same time. The room smelled of sex and (Name)’s signature perfume, making him relax.

As his mind cleared of his post-orgasm haze, his mind drifted back to the thoughts of getting her pregnant. He came inside her, that meant it was a possibility, wasn’t it? The more he thought of it, the more his heartbeat picked up. He couldn’t think of anyone better to rebuild the Kurta clan with.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt her tremble in his arms, the blonde picking up the unease and fear in her aura.

When he felt her chest begin to shake with sobs, he pulled her closer, his hands shaking as he cupped her cheeks. “Angel, what’s wrong? Was I too rough? Are you hurt?”

A chill ran down his back when she clung to him, her face burying itself in his chest. This wasn’t an embrace, this was a desperate attempt to keep him close to her. “Please… please don’t leave me… I’ll do anything you want, just don’t leave me again…”

It only took him a moment to realize why she was so upset, and his blood ran cold to think this was all his fault. He had traumatized her to the point she was terrified that once he had his way with her, he’d abandoned her, like she was nothing.

Had he really been so cruel that she believed he would use her body then abandon her? Kurapika held onto her so tightly it was almost painful.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

Tears welled up in his eyes. He’d done this, he made the love of his life tremble in fear at the thought of him leaving her again.

All he could do was whisper apologies into her ear as he rocked her, trying his best to soothe and comfort (Name). “I can’t… I can’t live without you, Pika… promise me… promise me you’ll never leave me again…”

She finally looked up at him, her eyes a bit puffy from crying. He paused, his hand reaching up to wipe away her tears.

Was he really okay with staying with her? He didn’t want to become soft, to lose his anger and hatred, and if he stayed with her that might happen.

Kurapika brought her in closer to pepper her face in kisses, unable to stop as tears fell down his own cheeks. He loved her, but his mission would always come first.

“… I promise.”

She finally relaxed, laying her head on his chest. “Mmm… I’m so happy, Pika… I want…”

Her eyelids began to droop, her hands playing with his hair. “I want to stay… with you forever…”

As she fell asleep in his arms, Kurapika hoped that he would be able to keep that promise. A sinking feeling in his chest told him that if he didn’t, there would be no second chances, just heartache.

———————

(Name) woke up early the next morning, giggling to herself when Kurapika grumbled at her attempts to move. “Stay…”

His face was buried in her neck, his hand reaching around her to trail down her tummy to her pussy. She squirmed a little, feeling his cock slip between her thighs. “Pika, what do you mmph~! Think you’re doing?”

Kurapika kissed along her neck, gently sucking on her most sensitive spots. “It’s warm…”

She let out a shaky breath when he pushed into her wet cunt, feeling his fingers rub at her clit as he thrusted in and out lazily, his hot breath on her neck. “So good… you feel so good…”

His free hand groped at her chest, as if he just couldn’t touch her enough. Kurapika wanted his hands all over her, to touch and kiss every inch of her body. She whimpered, lightly watching her back, turning her head to capture his lips in a sloppy kiss.

It didn’t take long for them to cum, the blonde groaning in her mouth as she filled him up. “That’s my angel… such a good girl…”

He hummed in contentment, nuzzling his face into her neck before pulling her closer. “All mine…”

She squirmed a little, giving his cheek a quick peck before she wiggled away. He began to whine again, but she stopped him with a gentle boop to his nose. “Killua, Alluka, and Leorio will be here within an hour. Leorio’s staying over to decorate ornaments for us, so we both have to be showered and dressed before they get here.”

Kurapika pouted at her, his face falling onto her lap. “Just five more minutes… it feels nice to be snugged up with you…”

She smiled softly, gently brushing his hair out of his face. “I’d like that too, Pika, but not right now. How about…”

She hummed, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “How about we snuggle up and watch Christmas movies with everyone later? How does that sound?”

Although he would prefer to snuggle with her alone, he wouldn’t turn her affections down. “I’m okay with that…”

The two separated, much to Kurapika’s annoyance. All he wanted to do was be stuck to her side like glue, but she was busy. He felt a little bad and a bit hypocritical due to calling her a stalker in York New all those years ago. Now he was following her around like a lovesick puppy… he was whipped.

After they both showered and dressed, Kurapika helped (Name) set out the Christmas ornament decorating station. Kurapika even had his own space for molding clay, along with tools and paint. He seemed about ready to dig in, but refrained from doing so until the others got there.

It was nearly noon by the time the others got there. Leorio came holding two boxes of pizza, smiling. “Hey sunshine, I brought lunch.”

“Oh, thank you Leorio!”

She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a peck on his cheek, causing the blonde to huff in annoyance. Kurapika didn’t like how affectionate she was with other men, despite the fact he hadn’t even asked her to be his girlfriend yet. He seemed to believe she already belonged to him.

Killua looked at Kurapika, his eyes narrowing. He didn’t like the satisfied, love-dovey look on Kurapika’s face one bit. It made him… suspicious. Especially after Kurapika’s words during the fall get together…

As the group gathered around the table to start eating, Killua pulled Kurapika aside. “Kurapika.”

Kurapika blinked. It wasn’t often Killua used his actual name, so he looked at him. “… yes, Killua?”

“… don’t get her pregnant.”

And with that, Killua walked away to eat with the others, leaving Kurapika a blushing, stuttering mess.

———————

“If you use this tool, you can create a nice texture…”

“Ooh, Pika that’s so neat!”

Kurapika had (Name) perched in his lap, his hands on hers as he helped her mold the clay into little Christmas themed shapes, like gingerbread cookies and trees. The entire group was having so much fun, with Alluka and Nanika switching out to paint their own little glass ornaments.

“You’re a natural, (Name). My father would have loved to have your help with his work.”

(Name) felt her face warm up, melting at the heartfelt compliment. Kurapika mentioned his family less than he mentioned his clan, so it was a compliment of the highest honor.

“Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun! You said your mom taught you how to sew, right? I bet they would have kept me busy!”

Kurapika laughed at that, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Yeah, I bet they would have loved you.”

He gave her shoulder a kiss before moving the clay over to a baking sheet. “Alright, angel. Let’s get these to the oven. After, we can paint them together.”

She stood up then helped him stand, giggling when he leaned against her. “You may have to carry me (Name), I think my legs fell asleep…” he purred, his cheek nuzzling against hers.

“Oh really? Maybe you won’t be able to come see the Christmas light with us then~”

Kurapika grumbled, standing up on his own. “You’re no fun, (Name).”

She laughed, bumping her hip against his. “Mmm, maybe, but I know my stuff. Come on…”

After decorating ornaments, they decorated the tree with them. Leorio was kind enough to place the star at the top, the group looking on in wonder as they saw the fully decorated tree.

“It’s really nice…” Kurapika said, pulling (Name) close to him. He had a soft, nostalgic smile on his face, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes.

“It is, I’m glad you got to do this with us, Kurapika.”

The two shared a kiss, causing Killua to gag and Alluka to “ooo”. Leorio laughed and rolled his eyes. “Okay lovebirds, we should go see the lights soon, it’s dark out.”

“Already?”

“Yeah, already.”

The group separated, getting dressed for the occasion. Kurapika sighed dreamily as (Name) walked down in a simple Christmas sweater and jeans. Honestly she could walk down in a potato sack and he’d still get flustered, she looked good in pretty much anything she wore.

“Oh wow, you look nice Pika!”

She looked over his nice red turtleneck and black slacks, nodding in approval. “You look cute yourself, (Name).”

She beamed at him, grabbing the arm he offered with a laugh. “Aren’t you a charmer? Let’s get the cat warmed up, it’s freezing out there!”

The group rode in the car to see the Christmas lights, munching on cookies and hot chocolate (Name) prepared before they left. “These are good, mama!”

Nanika was present at the moment, munching on a cookie. Killua seemed to be pouting over this. “Why does Alluka get more cookies? It’s not fair!”

“Well, Alluka has Nanika with her, it’s only fair they both get the same as everyone else!”

“Mom, they share the same vessel! It’s-“

Nanika buried her face in (Name)’s chest, whining. “Big brother is being mean to me…”

Killua started stuttering out an apology as Nanika and (Name) giggled. Kurapika glanced at them through the rearview mirror, his cheeks a soft pink.

“Take the next left, and it should be right there.”

Leorio was looking at his phone, calling out directions to Kurapika. The tall man had some spiked hot chocolate before he left and (Name) didn’t like driving long distances, so that left Kurapika behind the wheel.

He put the car into park outside of the the place, glancing around at the lights with a wonderstruck face. Kurapika had heard about Christmas lights before, and he even helped Leorio put some up at (Name)’s house a week ago, but he’d never seen anything like this.

Pairo had always wanted to see the big parks full of lights after he read about it in a book.

“Even with my failing vision, I’d still be able to see the lights! We should go see them someday, Kurapika!”

“Yeah, I promise I’ll take you one day!”

“Will you hold my hand so I don’t trip?”

“Haha, I’m sure I will have found you a doctor to help your condition by then, but I’ll still hold you hand. You’re a bit clumsy regardless.”

“Hehe, I guess I am!”

Kurapika stayed frozen near the gate, a hand over his heart as memories of old broken promises plagued his mind.

He was shaken from his thoughts by a hand taking his own, giving him a light squeeze. “Are you alright, Pika?”

Kurapika smiled, letting the tears fall down his cheeks. “Yeah… yeah I’m fine. I just… remembered that I had promised Pairo I’d take him to see the Christmas lights one day. I… never got to.”

(Name) pulled him a little closer, leaning her head against his shoulder. “… you carry him in your heart, Kurapika. He’s here with us, even if he isn’t physically. Can’t you feel it?”

The blonde paused, his eyes going wide. There was a certain feeling in the air, nostalgic and familiar. “I do… I do feel it.”

She smiled, laughing when he hugged her a little tighter. “I think… he’s happy I have you now.”

The others watched with smiles on their faces, even Killua. As they walked into the park, Kurapika felt truly at peace for the first time since he lost his clan. It felt like his friend was right next to him, experiencing each new sight Kurapika did. If there was an afterlife like Kurapika believed, he hopes Pairo could see all the sweet parts of life through his eyes.

Alluka and Killua played in the snow as Kurapika and (Name) gazed at the lights in wonder. “Oh wow, these ones are linked to a radio station! They blink in time with the music!”

They walked through a tunnel of lights, pausing to look at each other. To Kurapika, (Name)’s figure lit up by the soft lights above made her look beautiful. Her hair, her skin, her eyes, each part of her had his heart thumping away madly.

He leaned in for a kiss, cupping her cheeks, but stoped short when her phone buzzed in her pocket. The both seemed irritated by the interruption, but Kurapika gave her a patient smile. “Go ahead, I’ll still be here.”

(Name) giggles, walking away to take the call. He waited, watching as her face fell.

She walked back a moment later, looking simultaneously pissed and worried. “Is something wrong, angel?”

The woman groaned, leaning against him. “My boss called, he said there’s a natural disaster that needs clean up and rescue efforts, and he needs me to into work. My nen is very useful when it comes to both healing others and getting rid of debris.”

Kurapika pulled her in closer, his face scrunching up. “… how long will you be gone?”

“About a week, which means I’ll be home a few days before Christmas Eve. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind helping others, but it sucks going into work during the Christmas season… but…”

She texted Leorio, who said he would call her a taxi. “I have to remember that these people are experiencing these natural disasters during the holidays. My family is happy and safer, theirs aren’t.”

Kurapika was always surprised by her unending compassion and care for complete strangers. He nodded, cupping her cheek tenderly. “Do you want me to come with you? I don’t want you to go alone a-“

“No, I need someone that can stay at the house. Leorio has classes so he can’t always be around to help, you’ll need to take care of the kids while I’m gone.”

Kurapika frowned at that, but he couldn’t help feeling a small iota of pride at her trust in him. Killua was her baby, something she made clear, so to put him in Kurapika’s care meant she thought he was worthy enough.

“I won’t even have time to pack, I’ll just have to wear my work uniform and buy clothes there…”

She began walking towards the gate, texting numerous people on her phone as Kurapika followed. “You’re leaving now? I was hoping we’d have more time together…”

The knowledge that she’d be leaving for an entire week was starting to sink in, making the blonde feel extra clingy and needy. He held onto her hand, bringing it to her lips to kiss it. “I’ll miss you…”

She turned back to smile, embracing him as tight as she could manage. “I’ll miss you too, Pika. I love you…”

She gave his lips a soft peck, waiting a moment before sighing softly. “… I’ll see you next week then, take care.”

His face dropped as she turned, a soft look of sadness taking just his features. He could tell she was a little upset he hadn’t said he loved her back. Kurapika couldn’t blame her, not one bit. He wanted to say it, he wanted to scream it from the rooftops that she was only one for him, but he just couldn’t.

It wasn’t good, and would hurt them both later on if he couldn’t man up and say it.

The blonde sighed, watching her get in the taxi before he turned to join the others, the spark of excitement over the Christmas lights gone.

At the time, he didn’t realize that she was that spark, that person that allowed him to feel childlike wonder again.

And he might end up taking that effect she had on him for granted.

———————

The week (Name) was gone was hell for Kurapika. The kids misbehaved, the cats kept getting into trouble, and Leorio was too busy with college to help him most of the time.

But most of all, the thing that hurt Kurapika the most was the debilitating loneliness he felt with (Name)’s absence. He had gotten so used to her presence, that he could barely function when she wasn’t around. He stumbled through his routine, waking up early to feed the kids, working to find clues about the scarlet eyes or phantom troupe on his laptop, making lunch, going back to work, making dinner, then passing out after.

“You’re like a soggy cat!” Alluka said, watching as Kurapika slumped on the couch, his laptop on the coffee table. “You miss (Name) so much that you haven’t smiled or laughed once since she’s been gone! Not even at my puppet show.”

“Your puppet show was about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.”

“I thought it was hilarious!” Killua chimed in, jumping over the couch to sit down next to Kurapika. “But she’s right, it hasn’t even been fun to tease you lately.”

Kurapika frowned at that, shutting his laptop. “It’s really none of your business how I feel. She’s important to me, of course I wouldn’t be frolicking around when she’s gone.”

Killua raised an eyebrow at the blonde. “Hey, she’s important to me too, but I can function on my own. I know she’ll be fine.”

“But what if she isn’t? Have you ever had someone you loved die? I worry that she could be in horrible danger every day…”

Killua went quiet, staring at Kurapika as if he wanted to say something, but couldn’t. “… she’ll be fine. I… I know she will be. She promised me she would never…”

He clamped his mouth shut, his eyes staring at the floor as Kurapika looked up from his laptop. “She promised you what?”

Killua shook his head and grabbed Alluka’s hand. “Nothing. Let’s go, we need to clean up our rooms before mom gets home.”

Kurapika had a sinking feeling that whatever Killua was talking about had something to do with the Chimera Ant Incident.

He would find out what happened eventually, but at what cost? Now, he didn’t know just how much damage the truth would cause.

They say curiosity killed the cat, and Kurapika had always been the curious type.

————————

It was 3 days before Christmas Eve, and (Name) was supposed to be home at any minute. There had been radio silence on her end the past two days, filling Kurapika with worry.

“What if she got hurt? Someone could have taken her phone and used it to say she’s fine before throwing it away!”

“Kurapika, she sent us a picture of herself two days ago.”

“… it could have been edited.”

Killua groaned, rolling his eyes. “She’s fine, blondie. You worry too much, she’s going to feel smothered by you.”

A knock at the door had them all jumping up. “Mom?” “Angel!” “Big sis?”

They ran to the door, Kurapika throwing it open to reveal (Name) behind it. Before they could all throw their arms around her, they noticed how she swayed slightly, the bags under her eyes now visible, along with the tired look on her face.

“I’m home… please… call Leorio…”

With that, she fell into Kurapika’s arms, the blonde neatly vomiting when he saw his hands coated in blood. There was a large patch of blood seeping through the back of her shirt.

Killua pulled Alluka away so she didn’t see, though he was panicking himself, he wanted to make sure his little sister didn’t have to see (Name) in this state. As he dialed Leorio’s number, Killua ushered Alluka to her room. “Go play on my switch, I’ll come get you in a minute, okay?”

Kurapika laid her on the couch, tearing off her shirt to reveal her bandages torso. When he turned her on her side, he spotted where the blood was coming from.

There seemed to be some kind of wound on her back, a fact that infuriated Kurapika. Someone attacked her while she had her back turned, and he hadn’t been there to watch over her. He felt utter shame and disgust at himself for being selfish the entire week, pouting over her absence while she was out risking her life to help others.

Leorio threw open the front door, his eyes scanning the room before he spotted (Name). Killua had crouched down next to her, tears running down his cheeks as he pushed her hair out of his face.

“(Name), Killua…”

The man kneeled down in front of her, his hand grazing over her wound. “Fuck, (Name), what happened to you?”

She shivered, sweat beading down her forehead as she struggled to speak. “Someone… who lost their family… took it out on me. He was angry… that I couldn’t… save them… I… didn’t press charges.”

Kurapika nearly crushed the coffee table with his grip. “He hurt you, (Name), why the hell did you let him get away like that? I don’t care who he lost, he doesn’t have the right to…”

He froze, a sudden chill running down his back. “He… didn’t have the right to hurt you. Not even if he was angry.”

Leorio held his hands over her back, focusing his nen on her injury as the group stayed quiet.

‘I’m a complete hypocrite. I’ve hurt her out of anger, for the sake of my anger… how can I even begin to lecture her?’

As Leorio worker his nen, her breathing slowed down. She finally relaxed once her wound healed up, giving them all a tired smile. “I’m sorry I took so long… I had so many plans for the Christmas season, but… I’m going you way too tired to do anything but rest the next few days…”

“No, no don’t you ever apologize for that, (Name). You’ve done more than enough.” Kurapika said, cupping her cheek. “This Christmas season has been the best I’ve ever had, all thanks to you.”

She sniffled, wiping away her tears before sitting up with Leorio’s help. “Thank you… I still want to cook a nice dinner for Christmas, it just… won’t be as grand as I hoped…”

Kurapika kissed her forehead, pulling her close. “As long as I have you, I don’t care. You’re all I need to be happy…”

She blushed, giving him a peck on his lips. “Could you help me upstairs? I don’t think I can do it myself…”

He nodded, scooping her up easily. “Of course. Come here, angel.”

Leorio and Killua watched as he carried her upstairs, before the man pulled Killua close. “Hey bud, she’s going to be okay. This isn’t like last time, you don’t have to worry.”

Killua was a mess, anxiety pulsing through his veins. “It’s hard… it’s hard not to worry. I can’t… I can’t lose her again. She’s my mom, I…”

Leorio patted his back. “I know, bud. I know…”

Kurapika placed (Name) on her bed, covering her up with her comforter. “Is that better, angel?”

She smiled, gently tugging at his sleeve. “It would be better if you were with me.”

She lifted the blanket, and he happily joined her, his cheeks turning pink as he buried his face into her neck. He felt just a little pathetic at how excited her got when he smelled her perfume again for the first time in a week, but that faded away when she nuzzled her nose against his.

“I’m so happy… that you stayed…”

Kurapika paused, his eyes widening a bit. “Did you… think I was going to leave while you were gone?”

She looked away for a moment, then nodded slightly. “… yes. I did.”

He felt hurt, but he couldn’t blame her for feeling the way she did. After his fight with Uvogin, he abandoned her as soon as he woke up, leaving her all alone. After that, he attempted to push her away, leading to their separation.

“I’ll never leave you… never…”

She sighed in contentment, giving him a soft kiss. “Thank you…”

The two fell asleep, the blonde keeping a protective hold over her, as if to protect her even if her dreams.

—————————

Christmas Eve arrived, and (Name) was finally feeling good enough to get to work. She delegated chores, giving Kurapika and Leorio the grocery list, then having Alluka and Killua tidy up the living room as she did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.

Before long, the house was sparkling clean. “This looks great guys, I’m sure Santa will be very happy when he comes down the chimney tonight!”

Alluka jumped up and down in joy, nearly spilling her hot chocolate. “I’m so excited, I can’t wait for Santa to come!”

Killua took her cup, laughing. “Well I can’t wait to open presents. Mom, we still get to open two each tonight, right?”

(Name) nodded, giving both of their foreheads a kiss. “Yep! Tonight we’ll eat dinners, open gifts, then bake cookies for Santa.”

She started cooking as soon as Leorio and Kurapika got back with groceries. Within a few hours, dinner was ready and the kids were getting restless. They all ate quickly, too excited to open presents and bake.

“Okay, we’ll open gifts youngest to oldest. Alluka, you’re up first.”

They kids opened their gifts, smiling. “Ooo, new hair clips! Thank you (Name)!”

Killua was too busy putting on his new shoes to try them out to speak, his face lit up light a Christmas tree. Kurapika frowned when (Name) handed him his present, remembering that he was younger than her.

“This is from me!”

She smiled, watching as he looked over the small box in his hands. “I also got you something to open tomorrow, so you have two gifts!”

Kurapika blushed at that. He had only gotten her the one gift, and now he felt a little bad that she wouldn’t have anything from him to open tomorrow. “Th-thank you, one gift would have been enough, I promise…”

He carefully unwrapped the paper, careful not to tear it. Once unwrapped, his eyes widened, his eyes going wide with shock.

“This… is an ornament made by the Kurta people…”

Tears fell down his cheeks as he lifted it from its packaging. “Yes, I found it while I was gone on my job. Some flesh collector was selling it, but I didn’t feel good giving someone like that money, so I stole it. You’re the rightful owner, after all. You can choose what to do with it.”

He held the little ornament in the air, watching the gold paint glitter in the light. When he turned it around, he nearly dropped it in surprise.

“Oh my god…”

‘Pairo, 4’ was written in Kurtan on the back, confirming that it was a genuine Kurta ornament, but also made by Kurapika’s childhood friend. He couldn’t contain his sobs, holding the little trinket to his chest.

“Pika…”

(Name) wrapped her arms around him, letting the blonde cry into her chest. “Thank you… you don’t understand what you’ve given me, (Name)… I couldn’t ask for a better gift…”

Once he was okay enough to let her go, (Name) opened her gifts from Alluka, Leorio, and Killua.

Alluka got her new fuzzy socks with her favorite Sanrio character on them, Killua got her a gift card to her favorite restaurant, and Leorio got her a plush of her favorite anime character. She hugged them all, giggling as she placed all of her gifts in a small basket that she would carry upstairs. “These are amazing, thank you so much!”

Killua hugged her tightly, then looked away shyly. “I have another gift for you…”

(Name) tilted her head as Killua reached behind the Christmas tree, hanging her a gift bag. “Open it.”

She opened the bag, pulling her present out of the bag and looking at it, tears ending at corner of her eyes as she pulled him into a hug. “Oh, Killua…”

She held a mug in her hand, that had the words “World’s Best Mom” on the front. “You really are the best mom… you kind of… saved me.”

(Name) choked up, giving his forehead a kiss. “No, baby, you saved me.”

After a long hug, Killua squirmed away to stand off to the side, his face red. Expressing gratitude and love wasn’t easy for him, and (Name) knew that. “Okay, Leorio it’s your turn!”

(Name) handed him a gift, smiling. “This one is from Killua and Alluka!”

“Ahh, thanks guys. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

He took the wrapped present, holding it in his hands with barely contained excitement. Leorio was almost more into unwrapping presents than Killua and Alluka were.

He unwrapped it quickly and held up a blue tshirt with white lettering on it. It read “Med School Student”.

“It’s awful, I love it.”

Leorio pulled off the sweater he had on and put the tshirt on in its place. It was a little tight, clinging to his pectoral muscles, but it fit well enough. “Oh wow, you really are a stud!”

The group laughed, and they all gathered in the kitchen to make cookies for Santa. Alluka helped make the dough with (Name) as the boys mixed the icing. Kurapika, who seemed to be clumsy any time he tried to impress (Name), was forced to wash the cookie cutters instead.

“I don’t think there’s any way I could mess up icing…” Kurapika mumbled, drying off the icing. (Name) leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“Mmm, don’t jinx us, Pika.”

His cheeks flushed at her affection, causing him to lean into her. “I think I’ll be okay if I get another kiss.”

“Oh really?”

She laughed, pulling him in for a kiss, her lips tasting like sugar cookies. He wrapped his arms around her, letting his tongue flick out to taste her. “Mmph-! Okay Pika, that’s enough. The kids are right there,” she whispered, pulling away.

(Name) and Alluka laid out the dough, and with some help from the others, they made cookies. It was a lot of fun, and even though they all ended up covered in flour and dough, they all laughed. “I’m glad I didn’t have you all change into the matching pajamas yet, that would have been a disaster!”

She helped clean off Alluka and Killua’s faces before putting the cookies in the oven. “There we go, let’s get this mess cleaned up while they cook.

(Name) stood at the counter, wiping it down. It wasn’t every day she allowed her friends to help her this much, and she was realizing just how much easier life was when she let them take a bit of the weight off her shoulders. Instead of taking an hour to clean up the mess, it only took 10 minutes, the cookies being done right when they got done.

“Okay, they’ll need to cook off for a few minutes.”

Kurapika nodded, looking over their little cookies. Some were a bit lopsided and crooked, but he adored each and every one of them. He tried not to laugh at Leorio’s crude attempt at making a stethoscope. It looked more like the head of an elephant, but Leorio still seemed proud. “Oh, my cookie came out good!”

After they cooled down, everyone decorated and ate cookies. (Name) snatched up a few to keep for “Santa” before they could be devoured. “Alright guys, don’t forget who we made this for!”

She pinched Nanika and Killua’s cheek. Nanika was more of the artistic type, while Alluka preferred baking over decorating. “Sorry mama, they’re good!”

Kurapika sat, hunched over his own cookies. (Name) attempted to peek over his shoulder, but she was quickly swatted away. “Hey, no peeking, and get out of the light!”

(Name) snickered. “Oh my, so sorry Kurapika.”

She moved on to look at Leorio’s cookies, humming softly. “It’s… unique.”

“It’s ugly.”

“No, no it’s not!”

Leorio looked over his attempt at a stethoscope. They didn’t have silver so he had to use green, making it look more like a tree with vines than a stethoscope. “It’s cute, and it looks tasty.”

Kurapika cleared his throat to catch (Name)’s attention, and she smiled softly. “Can I see them now?”

He nodded, holding out the plate for her inspection. It was two gingerbread men, one with yellow hair and the other with (h/c) hair. “I uh… I made us. And we’re holding hands…”

She blushed, her fingers tips grazing the Kurapika cookie. “This is too cute…”

A phone was whipped out of her pocket in a split second, Kurapika blinking when she neatly blinded him with the flash. “There, now we can eat them!”

After they all feasted on cookies, they all slumped on the couch. (Name) was sitting on Kurapika’s lap, the blond rubbing circles into her tummy. “Ughh I think I ate too many cookies.”

He hummed softly, and at the moment he reminded her of a satisfied cat. His hands kneaded at her soft flesh as he held her close, his face buried in her neck.

“Mom can you make him stop? I’m gonna get sick,” Killua said with a groan. He was sprawled out on the floor as Alluka patted his back.

“Don’t be mean, Killua. He’s helping me feel better.”

She sighed, getting comfortable in Kurapika’s lap before selecting a Christmas movie for them to watch before they went to bed. Occasionally Leorio leaned closer to the two, getting some snuggles from (Name) before she was pulled back into Kurapika’s embrace. “Stingy!”

Kurapika stuck his tongue out at Leorio. “Maybe, but I’m stingy with what’s mine.”

(Name) blushed, her face buried in his shoulder. Was she really his? He wanted her to belong with him and stay by his side?

All she could hope is that he was hers too, and that he would stick by her as well.

The Christmas movie ended, and Leorio carried the kids to their rooms as they snored. “You two go ahead to bed, I’ll handle the Santa duties.”

(Name) kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Leorio. I’m so tired…”

“I figured, you still haven’t fully recovered.”

Kurapika held onto her hand as they walked upstairs. She put on a good show for the kiddos, but Leorio and Kurapika could see the exhaustion in her eyes. “Let’s get tucked in, angel. You need your rest.”

The two snuggled in bed. Ever since they had sex, Kurapika had been finding his way to her bed. Sometimes he slept in his own room due to staying up late for research, and then (Name) would wake up with him in her arms.

As she drifted off, she felt him give her forehead a kiss. “Merry Christmas, angel.”

————————

Kurapika woke up to an empty bed, bus first reaction being to panic. The blonde patted the empty spot before his eyes shot open and his chest began to heave. “(Name)? Angel, where are you?”

Usually his grip on her meant they woke up together because she couldn’t get out of bed without waking him, but he had turned over in the night.

Although he knew that she was probably just downstairs, he couldn’t help the panic that set in. He had lost so many people, it was part of the reason he was so clingy. He couldn’t lose her, he refused to.

“Pika? Were you calling?”

(Name) peeked in the door, still wearing her pajamas that matched his own. “Angel…”

Kurapika stumbled forward, holding her face in his hands so he could pepper kisses into her face. “Please, if you leave the bed, wake and inform me before you go… I worry.”

She smiled, feeling her body melt under his touch. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up so early. I was just making a Christmas breakfast…”

He stared at her, the harsh, terrified shade of scarlet fading to the one only she got to see. “Let me help. I’m good with breakfast foods.”

The two made a heaping amount of pancakes, eggs, and bacon, and once the smell wafted through the house, everyone left their rooms.

Leorio rose from the couch, wiping the drool from his face. “Mmm… I think I was dreaming about your pancakes, (Name).”

She giggled. “Maybe! Come on, let’s eat so the kids can open their presents! I think I see a few more under the tree…”

Alluka gasped, running over to the plate of cookies, seeing that Leorio Santa had taken bites out of a few cookies, beheading the Kurapika cookie. Kurapika’s eyebrow twitched at the sight. “Was that necessary?”

Alluka huffed. “Hey, don’t question Santa! He might have thought your head looked tasty!”

Kurapika rubbed his temple. “Sure, sure…”

Killua snickered before stuffing his face with another bite of pancakes.

———————

After breakfast, (Name) pulled presents out from under the tree, placing them in piles in front of each person. Kurapika was surprised to see he had quite a few wrapped. “Where did all of these come from?”

(Name) smiled. “Gon and Melody sent you a gift in the mail, and the rest are from Alluka, Killua, and Leorio.”

Kurapika felt so loved in the moment. Since he had lost his clan, he rarely got many presents for his birthday or Christmas. The gift he got from (Name) on his birthday two years ago had been the first gift he received in years.

He had come so far, now surrounded by friends that appreciated and cared for him. “Alright everyone, you can start opening presents in 3, 2, 1!”

They began opening their gifts, Kurapika staring for a minute before he followed suit.

By the end of the session, Kurapika had a brand new pair of shoes from Leorio, a nice hair care kit from Alluka, a new book from Killua, a pair of heavy duty sunglasses from Gon, and a pastel pink scarf from Melody.

Kurapika looked so proud of his gifts, showing them off to (Name) before tucking them away safely in his room.

When he got back downstairs, (Name) smiled. “You have one more from me, Pika.”

He looked up before looking back at his gift. “You’re too kind, (Name)…”

He tore off the wrapping, tilting his head. “What is this?”

She giggled. “It’s a switch, a handheld game! You can play with friends across the world. You have a few games on it, so why don’t you let Killua and Alluka help you out?”

Kurapika nodded. “Ah, this is like the gameboys Pairo and I would see in magazines. Oh!”

He looked in wonder as he turned it on, and (Name) left him, Killua and Alluka taking over teaching him. By the time Leorio and (Name) finished with throwing away all of the wrapping paper, they had all started playing Minecraft with Gon.

“(Name) look, I’ve made a house!”

She peeked over Kurapika’s shoulder. “Wow, you really have!”

The day was spent with the adults laying around and watching movies or playing on their new game systems, while the kids ran around outside with their new toys.

Killua got a new skateboard and dirt bike, which he rode through the forest with Alluka clinging to his bike. “You sure they’ll be fine?” Kurapika asked, not looking up from his switch.

“They’ll be fine enough.”

By the end of the day, everyone was relaxing by the fire, sipping hot chocolate as they watched another Christmas movie. Kurapika kept a hand on her thigh, smiling. “I think this has been the best winter season I’ve had since…”

He didn’t have to finish his sentence, she knew what he meant. (Name) took his hand, planting a kiss on it. “I’m glad. You deserve to be happy.”

As she snuggled up to him, her pajama pants leg rode up a little, revealing she still had a few healing scratches and scrapes from when they went ice skating a few weeks ago. “(Name), why haven’t healed those up? I can’t imagine they’re comfortable.”

She set her hot chocolate down, Leorio and Kurapika freezing in their spots. With a sigh, she rolled her pants back down. “I’m sure you’ve heard about the Chimera Ant incident by now.”

Kurapika felt his heart race. Was finally she going to tell him what happened now?

(Name) looked like she was choosing her next words carefully, her face concentrated in though. “Well… during that incident, I… lost my ability to heal myself. I… don’t want to talk about it, but I’ll say one thing. It was… in exchange for… something… at least that’s my theory.”

Kurapika was a little bit disappointed by how little information he got, but he was still concerned to hear she had lost the power to heal herself. When he thought about it, she had relied on Leorio to heal her wound. ‘I should have realized sooner… what if she got hurt, and I didn’t know she couldn’t heal herself?’

He was glad to know this information, because it would mean he’d be more prepared and able to keep her safe. If he knew her weaknesses, he could plan around them. “I see…”

Kurapika didn’t push the subject. He could see the topic made everyone but him and Alluka uncomfortable.

As they got in bed that night, (Name) stared down at her leg, remembering the events of the Chimera Ant Incident.

‘I can’t let him know, it would break him…’

[ofmdsalt]

i do think it’s funny that the gentlebeardies who proclaim their love for the revenge crew don’t actually talk that much about or create content for the revenge crew. they don’t give a shit about the “boatful of queer poc that Izzy sold out” (LMFAO) unless they can use the crew’s diversity as some kind of moral gotcha. they care about GB because that’s the only thing that matters about the show in their eyes. and it’s so fucking unoriginal!!! just endless regurgitated post about “omg they’re soooo in love~~ and isn’t it great that love conquered all their problems~~!” it’s unoriginal derivative dreck unless they have to invent new ways to lie about how izzy deserves the death penalty.

oh anon you get me

you have no idea how much i hate the diversity of the crew being used as a literal weapon in this fandom when it comes to demonizing izzy and washing Ed and Stede of any of their wrong doings.

im frustrated by the use of the crew in season 2 only because it was so painfully obvious to me that the budget cuts really affected the ensemble. the way the Swede and Buttons were written out of the show felt rushed and like it came out of nowhere, especially as those two characters, felt the 'least' developed out of the rest of them. so giving them both this long winded set up to be written out was too clunky for me.

i miss when Frenchie was singing and strumming along on his lute. i miss when Jim was Jim, because lbr that was Vico in s2. it just felt like Jim wasn't there anymore. i can't say what happened in the writer's room at that time or what sort of material Vico was given or if it skewed more to improve, but a lot of what was established for the characters in s1 was missing for me.

the rhetoric of this being the Ed&Stede show i think did more harm than good. the assertion that the other characters are only here in service of Ed and Stede's development reduces the sense of scale and scope and also agency these characters have.

a lot of the foundational aspects of GB as a ship i think falls a bit too much into fan service. people talk about how revolutionary and groundbreaking the ship is as a cis gay couple on screen. as if it hasn't been seen before. like i didn't get the wow moment of Stede in the mermaid costume as other fans did. Stede's dream at the beginning of season 2 with him killing Izzy and then colliding with Ed in this romantic gesture of love and passion on the beach is straight up fantasy for Stede, but i think fans took the idea of Stede literally killing Izzy a bit too seriously because that is Stede's fantasy. he wanted his reunion with Ed to be simple and understandable. that it was all Izzy's fault when the reality of the situation was so much messier and complicated. like David and the writers were literally telling us that Izzy is not the enemy here because this moment on the beach was pure fantasy. and fantasies can be dangerous

and then the fans said that Izzy deserved it, should have had his second leg shot and amputated, that he deserved to die, that he's still a nuisance even in death despite the fact that he's dead. that is both a master manipulator but also a cringe fail loser incapable of doing anything right. and it's like. okay. you don't seem to understand this character either.

like a lot of the problems in this fandom have existed before and will continue to exist in other iterations. every fandom has its ship wars. every fandom has long ass call out posts about characters they don't like. but let's not pretend this is anything revolutionary

what i've noticed is that this fandom will reach a burnout period and it's probably already upon us. the constant need to be like 'we're trending!!' when all algorithms are dog shit and glitchy as hell doesn't mean anything. plus the fact that there are only two seasons, less BTS content to go around, it's all coming from the same overdrawn well and eventually it will come up empty.

it's okay to step back. it's okay to leave a fandom for a bit and come back to it years down the road. it's okay. but all of this is exhausting

[acequinz]

Di Feisheng forming headcanons in his head picturing Li Lianhua feeding Fang Duobing, petting his hair gently and being sweet to him. Wondering what Fang Duobing did to get all that?

Cut to reality with Fang Duobing basically clinging to Li Lianhua's leg with a - you can't leave me- wail, trying not to throw up after tasting the new recipe, getting scammed at least thrice by Li Lianhua just because...

Di Feisheng: omg these bitches are losers.... They don't even know they are gay. And omg LLH it's been 10 years have you still not learned how to flirt with men properly? No taunting them to pay attention to you does not count - Li Lianhua come back here and listen to me, we need to fight again. YOU COME BACK!

[kcyars99]

The truth about Tim Miller:

A gay man whose world view led him to become a lifelong Republican has the political acumen of a Jewish man who becomes a Nazi.

But it's even worse than that: it's like a Jewish man who helped build the Nazi party. That type of person can never be one of the faces of the Democratic party because he'll never understand it. And honestly, how could he?

To be part of a persecuted minority but find your identity in an alliance with the persecutors? You're unable to grasp any kind of reality that exists outside of whiteness. Whiteness is going to always come first.

And after you spent a decade being Frankenstein, your Republican monster inevitably chased you to the only other game in town: the Democratic party.

Because the GOP never really stood for anything but racism, sexism, and chasing power, and because there's no culture, no values, and no soul, a totally insane lying lunatic was able to swoop in and demagogue his way into ruling the party with an iron fist.

And I get it, you're gay, and now your allies wants to destroy the lives of everyone like you while being happy to use you to further those ends. It's untenable. But instead of putting up a fight and trying to save your party, you go to where the grass is bluer.

One problem: the Democratic party has a soul and it's name is the BLACK VOTER.

Where you wouldn't fight for your party? We will. Where you wouldn't guard your party from demagouges? We do. We don't have the caucasity to assume that we'll be alright. We're not white. It's always existential for us. We can never take our political power for granted.

That's why when you were grooming your party to fall victim to Trump, Bernie Sanders was over here falling flat on his face. Hillary built with us. Biden spent his whole life with us. They have equity. If you want anything over here in Dem land? You need us. Being a former Republican, you have no idea how we work because YOUVE NEVER HAD TO LISTEN TO US.

I'll get to how I know YOU, Tim Miller, have never listened to us in just a second.

That's also why we kill off culture vultures. We're so sensitive to anyone who wants anyone who wants to use us for their gain when we know they'll never get in the trenches with us. And we see it coming a mile away.

That's why we never fall for Trump scams in trying to astroturf black support. Not only does our life depend on us seeing through it, we're disgusted by it.

Now you've abandoned your party. Despite all the money you've made grifting off the party, you have one bad day in your new Democratic life, and now you're trying to rally us to abandon our decades long investment in Joe Biden because he needed a nap, a Joe Biden who beat Trump when you losers couldnt, and you are flumoxed as to why we won't give up like you.

It's because you don't belong here. You have no equity. You haven't built anything with us. You've never been in the trenches. You're not in touch with us. You don't know the community. And more than anything, you don't have the first clue about Black culture.

And in the past 3 days, with endless Black people, specifically Black women, telling you you're wrong, you have no idea what you're talking about, and that you need to LISTEN to Black people, your every response has been the white privileged casually racist response of "I know the Black community better than you."

You don't.

Hell, the idea of representation never even occurred to you until you adopted a Black kid and you're walking through the toy aisle and couldn't find any black dolls. If you couldn't grasp that until it was forced upon you, what makes you think you know us better than we know ourselves? We've been black our whole lives.

And how do I know you'll NEVER have a place in our party?

759.8K

You adopted a little Black girl and still don't even bother to listen to Black women, let one Black people.

In the words of Kendrick Lamar: You're not a colleague. You're a fucking colonizer.

[getlancered]

welcome to my 1 million turnabout bigtop headcanons

russell berry:

actual personality description because in the game he just kind of dies. stoic, generally serious man. bit of a blank slate to talk to. secretly TERRIFIED of confrontation, will do just about anything he can to avoid every problem in his life. this is not to be confused with avoiding responsibility, because he is the bossiest motherfucker around besides maybe trilo. runs the circus with an iron fist. no problems to fix if you never let them happen in the first place!

AUTISM

british weirdo

actually pretty connected in the entertainment industry

when he’s not wearing a suit he usually wears sweaters

takes first impressions so so seriously

DEAD wife that hes still not over

her death is unrelated to the circus because i think he wouldve shut that down in one singular second if it was

the circus was a passion project of her and moe’s, but russell was the only one competent enough with money and people that he ended up basically running it. neither of them wanted to do the technicalities

he wont consider his sexuality because he only loves his dead wife

moe:

nickname comes from highschool and the shit he used to get into, fabricated an identity to some stranger after vandalizing their house and it just stuck

took “class clown” a little too seriously

used to be an actual stand up comedian but being a party clown is just wayyyy easier

manchild. very silly and not serious all the time. completely aware of it by the way and encourages whimsy in the world

most insufferable case of hyperactive ADHD in the world

cannot sit normally anywhere ever

has many little odd hobbies

owns a bunch of really stupid graphic/text tshirts that do not apply to him in the slightest

likes to carry around those little plastic toys with the metal ball and a maze that u tilt around to solve. also those little water games where u push the button to try and get the rings on the hook. do u guys know what im talking about

can and will juggle any 3 items he can get his hands on

clings to russell all the time. follows him around. absolutely hates being alone so russell is his solution

gay as fuck for russell berry. this is not a secret. at all.

helped russell out with regina quite a bit, esp after his wife died

fine at confrontation unless it is of his own emotional issues

max galactia’s #1 hater

regina berry:

AUTISM

british loser too but fakes a french accent because it’s cuter and more posh

very good at imitating accents!

absolutely not mentally 16. very ditzy and carefree and childish

is not at all prepared for genuine reality because she was raised and surrounded her entire life by the members of the circus

very athletic!

has personalities for each of her animals and talks to/treats them like people

her mom died when she was 6, this is where her belief of dead people being stars comes from because russell genuinely could not tell her the truth

also why she wasn’t that upset about her lion or bat

closest to acro in the circus and still considers them to be best friends despite acro genuinely despising her

automatically assumes everyone is her friend unless they do or say something that shows otherwise

moe calls her “tiger” because she got facepaint as a kid and kept it on for days while acting like a tiger

amazing gift-giver

crow girl. drawn to anything and everything sparkly

enjoys those really elaborate lego sets

ben/trilo:

ft my backstory headcanon for how he entered the circus because its never established

AUTISM

trilo is ben’s non-loser persona essentially

ben has had severe social anxiety since childhood

^ where the stutter comes from

met moe as a teenager at his little sisters birthday party, was genuinely curious about how he can just go up on a stage in such a ridiculous get-up. talk to people. be social. he did not get it

when russell started the circus, he wanted to join and gtfo from his house

probably the neglected child to his little sister i think

joined the circus shortly after regina was born and was kind of the de facto babysitter so he considers regina his actual little sister (LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.)

trilo was created for regina when she was born. ben was kind of like a babysitter to her and made up a gag with this puppet and slapstick comedy to keep baby regina entertained. the whole circus loved it and trilo stuck!

what was once a coping mechanism became a depedancy. the only people he can speak to without trilo are the circus members

because he and the circus treats trilo like a completely separate being for his act and for regina, he never worked up the nerve to talk to people. there was no practice there because trilo isn’t him

doesn’t absolutely despise max because max is essentially like if moe was less obnoxious. flamboyant and outgoing and actually helpful!

great impressionist

max galactica:

entered the entertainment industry as a teenager after being scouted in high-school

genuinely does not give two shits about what other people think about him because he knows theyre all wrong. self-centered asshole

BAAAD anger issues. frequently smashes plates over dinner arguments. raises his voice quickly

only person spared from his eternal rage is regina berry

not getting his way makes him like genuinely upset

loves to threaten to quit to make everyone do what he wants

probably some sort of personality disorder

in a beautiful world he goes to therapy

he does actually genuinely want them to all be better performers but he’s literally terrible at showing it LMAO

lover of really obnoxious and clearly fabricated reality TV

massive drama whore. gossiper like no other.

the worst cook you’ve ever met in your life

drag queen!

into loser men (benjamin woodman)

acro/ken:

AUTISM

would both kill and die for every single member of the circus

including regina. not the kind of person to ever hold such a deep grudge so this is a first for him and he has very mixed feelings about it all

he gets physical therapy and his life is better ♥️

very emotional but great at regulating his feelings and self reflection. also great poker face!

terrible at accepting anyones act of kindness no matter how big or small. feels like he always has to pay everything back

tends to hide himself away if he is genuinely upset enough to the point of not being able to hide it

extremely observant person. in both behaviors and physical settings. always knows what to look for and what is out of place

very blunt but not. rude. just sort of speaks his thoughts and feelings. either honest about what he feels or dead silent

terrible liar

“will listen to anything” music kind of guy

actually quite prideful but like. in a healthy way.

tanktop wearer duh this we know but just generally a hater towards long sleeved shirts

decent artist! fun little hobby for him

[rivetgoth]

Kinda sucks that the initial wave of “go outside and talk to real gay people put yourself out there try to overcome some of your social anxieties try new things experience material realities have sex do drugs meet new people” etc style posting was from where I stood being said more so from a place of “you people are genuinely removed from material realities of the issues you’re claiming to care about and this stuff is meaningless if not even dehumanizing and counterproductive to both the larger issues at hand and your own mental health if you’re not forming real empathy with actual human beings in the real world” (at least that was how I know MANY people talked about these things, almost always, at least in my circles, by people who DID grow up “terminally online” with the whole cocktail of mental health and interpersonal issues to match and were really encouraging other people seek out similar healing and maturation through community and connection and putting urself outside of ur comfort zone) and has since been co-opted by frankly… tryhard bullies who are STILL entirely removed from like, critical thinking and nuanced analysis of complex material realities, let alone worrying about themselves and actually healing or growing, and instead have started using “going outside” as this weird punching down coolness/popularity contest, ie. “I actually go outside unlike you losers who watch baby cartoons and care about stupid baby shit.” It’s incredibly lame, speaks very obviously to the fact that you’re NOT truly “going outside” in a way that matters because you wouldn’t feel the need to try to posit yourself as cooler than fucking Steven Universe fans on Tumblr if you were, and it’s consequently led to the very deserved but kind of equally wild to see circular pushback of people once again having to justify their right to like, prefer staying home and reading over having kinky sex on ket in a gay bar (which, for the record, I do not believe a good 90% of the people making these posts, and at least 99% of the people reblogging them, are doing either). Great job guys.

[keviniiryuu]

okay gonna compile some of my thoughts for ep 12... momonina moments in separate posts

lmao look at this gremlin but also i'm glad they're taking the photoshoot with THIS outfit of Nina.

trying for the emo vibes i get you (momoka looks so fucking good)

the guitar!!! now let momoka teach you

bonk

momonina moment where they remember how much of a lost wet little puppy nina was and subaru was like "???? what in the gay are you talking about???"

guys don't forget that you're leaving subaru all alone there

nina lost to beer

momoka gayze

what a loser (affectionate)

anyways. while momoka did say it's a song for togetoge, this is really gay ass lyrics. you will sing with her even in the depths of hell???

idk but i find it more romantic when someone says they'll save/sing/whatever with their partner in the depths of all. total dedication right there

in every frame, momonina are always either sitting together or right across each other.

togetoge ;;

SEE

FLDBFDSJKFBDSJKFBJDSBFKJJKSDB

lmao with momoka's lyrics and this event... surely it's deliberate?

rupa saying this... i bet she wanted to witness this kind of thing at least once. unfortunately for her, they were one episode late LMAOOOO

i just know that if there's a brawl, rupa and nina will be at the frontlines lmao

togetoge ;;;;;;;;

nina attacc

i guess this is where we see that nina can still be a bit naive....

it's good to push yourself but idk what's nina is expecting when you're a new band + it was just released yesterday (guessing right here). i'm sure it's painful to her that she believed so much, only to get slapped by reality.

but this is what i said to a lot of people. don't expect that you'd be successful on your FIRST DAY. ofc there's nothing wrong with expectations (altho nina is really reaching lmao) but don't think everything will come your way from the getgo.

i hope nina won't feel so down. she just need to learn how to be patient and know that they're still great no matter the early results.

i am not ready for ep13 bc it means gbc is done... what am i gonna do now when i'm not getting anxiety over what will happen next?

[nerdygaymormon]

I guess as a straight up liberal that you're happy that the left is stealing this election from President Trump by pushing loser Biden out of the way in an undemocratic way, talk about a threat to democracy

Firstly, I'm not "straight" anything, I'm gay, but you are right that I am happy the former president's poll numbers have been dropping, because he & his VP pick seem to want the antithesis of basic American values.

JD Vance talks about people who don't have children as a moral failing and as a danger to the country, and listed Kamala Harris and Pete Buttigieg as examples. Kamala is a step mother who by all accounts seems to be a good mom, and Pete & his husband adopted twins, so no, they aren't childless, they are parents, just they didn't become parents in the "right" way for people like JD Vance.

JD & his crowd want to force people to have families in the way that they approve of. They would do away with abortion, with IVF, with birth control & family planning, with gay marriage, with divorce & remarriage. His ideology doesn't want people to have the freedom to choose how to live their life and to be with whom they love and pursue happiness in the way they choose.

Did you see the Republican Convention with Hulk Hogan and Dana White? I think it's not a coincidence that these examples of a certain type of hyper-masculinity is who Donald Trump wants to be associated with. They talk about men and masculinity being under attack and make fun of feminism and the #MeToo movement (remind me, which presidential candidate was found liable for sexual abuse). They use trans people as a punching bag to indicate they're for traditional understandings of gender and gender roles and not for letting people have the freedom to live outside of those understandings.

The promises they are offering aren't about how they'll make life better for everyone, or how they'll help fulfill the promise of the constitution by fighting for everyone's rights, or even freedom for people to pursue happiness in a way that works best for them. Instead, Donald Trump still talks about the 2020 election as though it was stolen from him because there were more votes for his opponent (speaking of a threat to American democracy), and he signals that if elected he'll use government to prohibit people from the types of gender identities and roles that he is uncomfortable with.

As a gay American, I spent most of my life under laws that made sex between two gay people illegal. The possibility of me getting married became a legal reality less than 10 years ago, it was 2020 when it was no longer legal to fire someone simply for finding out they're gay or trans. These are basic human rights.

I'm not saying all Republicans are bad, in fact I have never voted only for Democrats, I always find Republicans to support. But when I speak about equality, freedom, or rights for all, people assume I'm not a Republican and that's a problem I hope they fix.

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Hey, hey, psst! I have a hc to propose for you scollace enjoyers while STILL keeping the other ships such as ramscott and mobillace. The lines between platonic and romantic tones with them are so damn blurred that at an extent, Scott gaves Wallace a kiss on the way out with a date with Ramona. Ramona nonchalantly exclaimed with a barely raised eyebrow " You cheated on me with Wallace?" with no hint of betrayal or sorrow in her tone because no 1, you know she's. ramona. and no 2, it's was almost a matter of time with the mention of them sleeping on the same damn bed. Ramona is the type of girl who would be chill with anything honestly, she's bi herself so what would she know? Plus it's Wallace, her buddy. She could share. Scott would probably say some dumb shit like 'it's platonic!!' or ' it was a heat of the moment!!' but in reality its just that he's a ginger loser who forgets what boundaries you should set with your cool gay roommate. and Wallace never mentions it for the reasons of one, he finds it funny and second, he wanted a taste of scott's meat and the opportunity laid bare for him to dive to. Mobile wouldn't care, I refuse to believe that Mobile and Wallace never did a threesome with a hot guy they find on Grindr every weekend. Mobile would probably give a somewhat amused smile and asked " Threesome? Your roommate? This weekend?" and Wallace gives a devious smirk back. "Fuck yeah, I'll get my forever bitch."

[putrid-sex-machine]

ALL ANGELS ARE TRANSGENDER

no real dni as i think theyre fucking stupid. i'm pro para, pro fic, pro wtvr tf, just not pro contact. dont follow if you think my blog might upset you. close minded ppl & fake claimers fuck off. basic boundaries: i don’t fw srs sexualization of rape (not cnc), anything relating to animals or children (pet and age play don’t count) & detrans posting by cis ppl. pls don’t take anything i rbg or post on this account as any form of approval or support for genuinely harmful kinks. i talk about unsafe ideas that are fine to fantasize about but would be unsafe irl. know the difference & take good care of yourselves & sexual partners<3

THIS iS A SiDE BLOG. i CANNOT FOLLOW BACK OR LiKE POSTS.

[iNBOX & DMS R OPEN!!!] -> wont be answering weird dms w no context lol. at least try to use basic conversation skills.

☆ as far as you should be concerned, i don't have a name. call me null. he/it/hymn, subby, pre-everything (for now) ftm, 18, edgy loser. i'm an anti censorship, splatterpunk enthusiast. literally a star in a human flesh suit. werewolf loving, monster fucking, petplay and forcemasc obsessed freak. i practice the occult, tulpamancy, (maybe) satanism and whatever other shit i find interesting.

☆ my gender and sexuality are beyond my and your comprehension. idk wtf is going on & neither should you. trans man/masc whos somewhere near the definition of omnisexual. masculine & androgynous pref & don’t typically find mainstream presentation of cis women attractive. transmasc, non binary, but also a man who still likes women in a gay way. i'm ambiamory.

☆ mysterious undiagnosed issues ;-)c (possibly grandiosity, hypomania & adhd but idfc). i'm prone to borderline delusional thinking & often see myself as divine and angelic, i might come off as ungrounded and overly intense when experiencing this. this is not a thought pattern that can or will be changed by strangers online. any attempts at “reality checking” will be ignored.

☆ i have weird thoughts & am a fucking loser for petplay. i love gross media. freaks PLEASE interact. asks always open (^_^) if you're following me & i actively interact with your posts pretend we're mutuals

PROFiLE NAViGATiON

#.txt -> text post (obv)

#.img -> img post (again, duh)

#favs -> lets take an educated guess!

#my writing -> hm...

#my art -> tag i use in the rare occurrence i post my art here

#pics -> not my pictures/rbg imgs i fw

#resources -> information & other helpful links

✓ (heavy) praise, mild/light degradation, body worship & inspection, forcemasc, humiliation, teratophilia/monster fucking, petplay, primal, roleplay, cowboys, werewolves, manhandling, boots, masks, grinding, double penetration, 3some, biting, vanilla, pet names, corruption, voice, monster plants

? intox, (safe/light) bloodplay, overstim, urophilia???? (not too sure on this 1, its mainly the power imbalance and desperation it represents), dumbification, scarification, bdsm, cnc (with proper aftercare), scent/musk, bondage

✗ detrans, scat, feet, misgendering, feedism, raceplay, emetophilia, ageplay, lack of aftercare

KiNKTOBER 2024

[dtrizz94-blog]

I speaking out….

As a Starwars Fan, CloneWars Rebels fan and also loyal Sabezra/Ezrabine Shipper..

I tried to be more respectful…but I just need this to get off my chest .

I am sick and tired of shipwars, & pressing peoples buttons against Sabezra/Ezrabine…

For the past 9 years that I’ve been around from Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and Tumblr. I seen a bunch of anti Sabezra /Ezrabine shippers been hating on Ezrabine/Sabezra throughout 9 years with passion.

They make it the same old claim call “siblings,”Friendzone” friendships gay, lesbian,, over and over blah blah blah … there’s a lot of people that they don’t want to see Sabezra/Ezrabine… throughout 4 seasons of Rebels I saw the comments from social media, making their claims when they shipped about.

even after rebels Season 4 I saw those anti-Ezrabine shippers were so celebrated on those comments against Sabezra/Ezrabine ship.

those people who ship Sabine to someone else to brush Ezra off.

Sabine & Kestu Rebels Season 2

Sabine & Wedge Season 3

And Now Shinn & Sabine in Ahsoka..

I don’t understand why in the fuck, they hate it Sabezra/Ezrabine so much, especially they hate it on Ezra bridger. They always come out here to have the nerve for that.

I remember the early 2 seasons of rebels they been making fun of Ezra & Ezrabine/Sabezra shippers.

Sabine treated Ezra, like a nobody for being a jerk to ignoring him. And people viewing Ezra Bridger like a loser? Which is unfair that she treated him the wrong way. But more disgusting act why in the world that Lando flirted a 16-year-old Sabine wren in Rebels Season 1? In my opinion, Lando is a pervert. Lando look like a 30 year old in rebel season 1. Which is not funny for Ezra bridger that he been treated like shit…

In Season 3 I still never get over the fact that Sabine hugged Kanan instead of Ezra, which is a total insulted

Why, in the world that Sabine never gave Ezra Bridger the credit that he’s ever done for her throughout Rebels… my personal take that Ezra Bridger was overlooked and unappreciated.

Ezra did everything for Sabine Throughout Rebels

1.Ezra Gave the Tie Fighter for Sabine to Spray painted 2. Ezra tries to help Sabine training, Sabersticks in rebels season3 (trials of the darksaber.)3 and lastly, Ezra save Sabine 7 times through missions in 3 seasons even though in Ahsoka series, saving Sabine twice in one mission,,. Including rescuing Sabine‘s father. From Rebels Season 4 to Ahsoka Series Sabine has develop her feelings for Ezra , through 10 years of the timeline.. and on the other hand, but in episode 6 why the the directors including Dave Filoni, did not show the real emotion of Sabine & Ezra’s reunion? They act like they see eachother for days and that is a red flag.🚩

I guess it’s time they need to wake up and open their eyes and face the reality. The writers and directors got it all wrong and that is also criticizing the show.

And let’s be real Sabine wren has never seen Ezra Bridger in 10 MF years! And never showed the realistic emotion? I find that out why in the writers are making Sabine like a hypocrite and act like never have feelings for Ezra.

She’s been hiding her feelings through a decade..

Ezra Bridger has grown mature strong good looking man also high value.. Sabine has made a big mistake to reject, ghosting him and pushing him away. And he is not the same so-called “ annoying kid “ and he’s not that person anymore.Then Sabine turned herself around and she felt that she cared quite. Honestly she fail in love with him.

I don’t want to hear with this so-called cliché for me. That is an excuse for people, saying that.

As for Dave Flioni? He been playing mind games throughout 9 years, and he kept ducking over that.

People gonna say “He make them siblings “

My question is, Don’t you knowthat Dave Filoni wrote those signs, hints, and teases throughout rebels & Ahsoka Series, with these 2 characters of Sabine & Ezra?

as far as I’m concerned, if Sabine do care about Ezra why is she didn’t say Ezra’s face? she been waited too long and for me personally, I’m tired of waiting.

and right now I’m a say it is very clear

i’m tired of people who make a fun of of the ship through 9 years and right now it was hypocritical by anitEzrabine Shippers

at the end of day, all you haters won’t be celebrating … because you’re afraid to see Sabezra/Ezrabine become Canon “

MIC Drop 🎤

[tomsmusictaste]

I think what the pop-punk scene is missing is a true Bisexual Loser Anthem

With that in mind, here is my own original song, Best Of Both Worlds, which is just that:

Best Of Both Worlds (Bisexual Loser Anthem)

They say ‘If you like boys like you like girls Then you’re living the best of both worlds’ But they don’t see the reality I’m a strikeout either way Nothing’s gonna change that part There’s just twice as many people out there Who could break my heart

I never had the best of luck When it came to matters of love Always found some way to screw it up Didn’t matter who, didn’t matter what

And now I’m on my knees Begging darling please Won’t you give me another chance? Or at least just a first glance?

‘Cause I’m a beggar Not a chooser I’m not a lover I’m a loser

They say ‘If you like boys like you like girls Then you’re living the best of both worlds’ But they don’t see the reality I’m a strikeout either way Nothing’s gonna change that part There’s just twice as many people out there Who could break my heart

I’ve fallen for both girls and guys And fallen on my face whenever I’ve tried To let ‘em know just how I felt Guess I fumbled every card I was ever dealt

I’m just not meant to be A romantic lead Disaster movie better suits me Ash, I ain’t feeling too groovy

I’m a beggar Not a chooser I’m not a lover I’m a loser

They say ‘If you like boys like you like girls Then you’re living the best of both worlds’ But they don’t see the reality I’m a strikeout either way Nothing’s gonna change that part There’s just twice as many people out there Who could break my heart Who could break!

And I’m not straight but I’m not gay Still I’m a strikeout either way So hey They say

‘If you like girls like you like boys Then you’re gonna be spoilt for choice’ But they don’t know the real way it goes I’m a strikeout either way I’m a strikeout either way!

They say ‘If you like boys like you like girls Then you’re living the best of both worlds’ But they don’t see the reality I’m a strikeout either way Nothing’s gonna change that part There’s just twice as many people out there Who could break my heart

Lyrics by Tom H. Jordan - I do have a tune in mind for this, generally very upbeat, lots of fast-paced guitars and a breakdown in the bridge - and hey, maybe if I'm feeling bold one day I'll record it, but until then have fun imagining it in whatever style you like!

[berryyummy]

Innocent Shy Boy Head Cannon

×spoiler×

Hi guys! I fell in love with Ethan after watching Scream 6. But It has a doubtful part. Ethan is GF, why did he take Mindy to the hospital? It would have been better to just leave her alone and join the family. It's nonsense! And I love him, but I can't stop thinking about what it would have been like if he had been a really sweet and innocent guy. So... Here's my hc! I'll add more as I think of them. I'm not good at English, let me know if there are any awkward expressions!

Elementary and middle school homeschooling. High school was hell for him. He came to New York with dreams of a great college life.

He lacks social skills. But he's cute and kind, so his flaws are covered. He's fun to watch.

He can be friends with girls, but just the thought of going on a date turns him into a squeaking robot.

He doesn't know how cute he is. If someone praises him for being cute or pretty, he will be embarrassed. He wants to be told he's handsome!

He's stronger than he looks,but he never gets a chance to show it. He often imagines lifting a girl's heavy load.

He has his first gay crush when he sees Chad, he readily accepts that he is bisexual. what? Chad is the real alpha male. It is the providence of nature that he is attracted to him.

Most of his clothes are too big or the sleeves and length are too short or too worn or have peculiar prints.

He can't do housework. He puts all his clothes through the washing machine without thinking about what he will wear tomorrow.

Fortunately, his roommate can share clothes with him! Chad is shorter than Ethan but has a wider torso. He gladly gives his dark long sleeves to Ethan. (Because it suited Ethan so well)

He can't even cook. The only cooking utensil he can use is a microwave. what he does best are peanut jelly sandwiches and cup noodles.

He genuinely enjoys hanging out with his friends, but meanwhile, he misses a lot in the internet world. Whenever he has free time, he sticks his nose into his smartphone and types at a breakneck speed.

He considers suggesting that Chad wear a Mario and Luigi costume to the house party. But it was dismissed as too gay and loser by his Twitter friends, so it's just a thought.

He obviously loves Nintendo. I'm sure he has all the Nintendo machines and game chips.

There are always snacks in his backpack. mostly Cheetos, Doritos, Pringles, Twix, Jelly Beans or Oreo cokie. Some days they're all in. Of course, he always has a tissue in his pocket to wipe his hands with!

He's the one sharing the snacks. He always reaches out with a snack bag to his friends without saying anything.

He is close to Chad > Anika > Tara > Sam > Quinn > Mindy. Quinn and Mindy uncomfortable him in different ways. Quinn embarrasses him and Mindy's suspicion hurts him.

"Will I die a virgin?" It came out of his mouth before he even thought about it. He considers taking a leave of absence.

On the night of the murder, he finishes his econ and returns to his dormitory to write reports and study for exams. He's worried about his roommate who doesn't come back until late at night, he texts, there's no reply. He assumes that Chad will be with Tara. So he just played some games on his laptop and went to bed.

Only the next morning he finds out what happened. Chad grabbed him by the collar before a voice could come out of his mouth. He's genuinely hurt, but the feelings fly out of his head when he hears that two of his friends have lost their lives.

He proves his alibi, but the charges are still there. He doesn't know what to do. He couldn't even properly commemorate the deaths of his friends, but he was accused of murder, And he's being chased by a crazy psycho killer

After being targeted by Ghost Face, he is unable to come to his senses. His sense of reality is gone and he is dazed and afraid. He looks around for comfort, but hides his feelings because his friends seem more fearful than him.

It's him who gets attacked by Ghostface on the train. Gf first stabs Ethan, who is an easy target, and then tries to stab Mindy, but Ethan is strong and resists for quite some time.

He was stabbed twice in the stomach but survived. He sees Mindy approaching him and bursts into tears he has been holding back. He cries loudly like a baby. Mindy soothes him until the 911, but to no avail, so she just covers his mouth.

The next day, he is still in the hospital, He listens to his friends that Ghostface's identity was Detectives Bailey and Quinn. He is so startled that his jaw drops.

Mindy apologizes to him for doubting him. Honestly at this point he doesn't care at all. He's just grateful that he and his friends survived. they all hug each other.