#but in reality i just hope people like this let that shit go and learn to support people for who they are

[keefechambers]

I wanna be blunt about this ongoing James somerton suicide threat issue but I don't want to connect it to my IRL Twitter to comment on the dogshit takes I'm seeing there or the good and well meaning but maybe too kind takes I'm seeing here.

Obviously, I hope that this is a false alarm cry for help fake threat. Yes, it would reinforce that Somerton is a self-centered egomaniac who can't handle consequences but that's preferable to dead.

But I work in local news and let me tell you something. I've covered half a dozen family annihilating murder suicides and heard hundreds of men making suicide threats over police scanners and a huge swath of these don't happen because they're depressed or because people are mean to them on the Internet. They're punishment. A person with an enormous amount of entitlement towards people around them gets backed into a corner and they punish the people closest to them by killing themselves or threatening to kill themselves.

No one wants to talk about this feature of suicide because...you want to help people who are struggling and guide them away from this path and being blunt about the fact that sometimes people die of suicide as a consequence of their own shittiness towards the world does not really help actively suicidal people. But suicide rates are higher in men not just because they have higher rates of untreated mental illness (a societal issue we must address for the sake of all) but because some people, often men, use suicide (but more often the threat of suicide) as a tool of abuse and control.

I'm not saying somerton is like, an icky abuser bad guy, he's just a run of the mill grifter scumbag, but his actions in the past show a clear pattern of escalating behavior that aligns with this.

Somerton gets called out -> somerton alleges physical threats of violence against himself and his fans rally around him supportively -> Harry calls somerton out in a bigger way -> Somerton says he's hospitalized but there are inconsistencies with the story but no one wants to talk about that because you wanna be nice-ish about a guy who just tried to kill himself and now he's trying to be framed as tragic but it doesn't really stick -> somerton apologizes again but his apology is rightly called out for lies and manipulative framing as well as his continuing attempts to profit off the community he betrayed -> James posts a suicide note publicly putting the onus of his own suicide on the loss of his friend Nick who he repeatedly threw under the bus and now everyone is rallying to say nice-ish shit and wring their hands in concern over poor james -> indefinitely repeat this vicious cycle forever until he actually does die or finally gives up and gets real, intensive therapy and a day job.

Thats not to say anyone's concern is misplaced, it's 100% better for him to be a living scumbag than a dead one. He deserves the chance to grow and learn and have a life outside of youtube.

But you don't have to portray this as the action of a sad depressed man who got bullied off the Internet. It's manipulation, whether he intended to go through with it or not and whether someone intervened or not. Not denying that internet bullying is a thing, I'm sure there were some people who were shitty directly to James but he made the choice to not unplug from this and to try and keep being a public figure rather than taking care of himself. He could have deleted Twitter, blocked anyone who was an asshole, gone to therapy and tried to move on with his life but if he'd deleted his channel he'd have lost monetization... Can't have that, right? So he posts some apology videos so his channel stays active and then complains about how ruinous this is while never trying to take real accountability.

But the reality is that people would have forgotten about him so quickly and maybe his job prospects would've been impacted but...that's on him, and that's for him to figure out but it's not actually life ruining. He chose to continue to engage knowing he'd get backlash and hate and he'd feel worse and worse and things would never get better without the time and space for people to forget.

He made the choice to make a public spectacle of his own alleged suicide. That is the action of someone who wants to put the weight of their suicide on someone else's shoulders and is morally wrong. He can be held to account for that, alive or dead.

[inkedbybarnes]

anything

bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: bucky is determined to take care of you while you're sick.

word count: 1.6k+

warnings: mentions of insecurities, mentions of illnesses (but vaguely described), fluffy ahh shit bc why not, usage of pet names such as baby and doll. bucky being stubbornly sweet (it is indeed, a warning), lowercase writing.

i've been sick the past few days hence the creation of this fic. idk why my mood drops when i'm sick... once again, this is too fluffy even for my own good but i warned you and you're reading it still anyway. 🤨 haha jk, i hope you enjoy this one! 🩷

dividers by @cafekitsune!

reblogs, comments, and likes are highly appreciated! thank you. ♡

“can you please let me in, baby?"

that was the fifth time bucky had asked the same question, never giving up on his mission to take care of you after learning from jarvis – out of all people... or robots? – that you were sick.

“bucky, i promise, i'm fine. stop trying to break the door,” you answered, your clogged nose not helping as you sounded horrible even with a concrete wall separating you from him. “go and tell steve that you're joining the mission. you can't withdraw yourself just because i'm—achoo!”

your nose began to leak, and you were now distracted with the need to find the tissue box that used to be on your bed. you didn't hear the door clicking open as well as the heavy footsteps of a certain soldier walking towards you.

“just because you're what? sick?”

you jumped, feeling the edge of the bed sink with his weight. you quickly grabbed the tissue box that was mysteriously thrown under the bed before facing bucky with the duvet covering most of your body.

“how did you open the door?”

bucky shrugged. “i broke the doorknob. you didn't say anything about breaking doorknobs.”

you sighed, not winning this argument with bucky. “you shouldn't be here, bucky. you're supposed to be preparing for a mission tomorrow, not babysitting me!”

“and let you go through this on your own? tough chance, doll. i'm your boyfriend for fuck's sake, and don't tell me that you're worried about getting me sick because we both know i'm immune," he argued, reaching out and pulling the blanket down enough to reveal your face. “are you really upset that i want to take care of you? you should be demanding things from me, baby. instead you've been hiding from me.”

“because i don't need anything, bucky. i can handle myself just fine." you huffed, knowing you wanted his attention and care so badly. remembering your face was exposed, you felt insecure again. you dragged the cover back up and turned away. “i also don't want you to see me like this.”

“like what?"

“like a mess," you muttered underneath the sheets. “you've never seen me like this before, and i swear i am the worst when i'm sick. you don't have to see me like this, okay? i don't want you to.”

you felt silly. it was completely normal to get sick, but you hated how extreme your body would act out whenever an illness would attack you. you'd always sound and look like you were fighting a battle in hell alone. the way your mind would take an entire flip and drag you to your lowest point didn't help either. so, not only were you feeling physically horrible, you were also struggling mentally.

“a mess? what mess?” he asked, lifting the cover to join you underneath it which caught you off guard. you were entirely exposed to his eyes now. “there's my girl. where's the mess that you're talking about, huh?”

with the little amount of energy left in you, you brought your hands up to cover your face. he could see how much of a mess you were now, far from the dream you've painted since the day you dated him. now, you were nothing but a nightmare of your reality.

“don't you dare hide from me. i haven't seen you all day and it's driving me insane," he complained, pulling your hands away from yourself. he brought his thumb to your teary eyes, wiping the tears away before they could fall. “i can't believe you're hiding from me just because you think i can't handle seeing you sick. what did you think i'd do once i saw you like this?”

you sniffed, hesitation holding you back from telling him the truth. it's only been three months since you've started dating bucky, and you were still in that stage where you'd constantly try impress him.

you weren't faking yourself, no. however, you still did your best to only show your good side and tuck away your insecurities. unfortunately, you had to get sick too soon and have to risk bucky seeing you this way.

“you thought i'd leave you? won't like you anymore? get turned off or something?”

you nodded, knowing that was exactly what went through your head and a bit pissed that he was able to read your mind without actually having the power to do so.

bucky's eyes softened at your confession, letting out a soft sigh as he saw how badly you were beating yourself up.

“if it's because of how you look right now, then it's true. you do look different," he answered, your chest tightening. “your eyes lost their glow, you're frowning more often, your eyes are all puffy, you are definitely grumpier than usual, your lips are dry and chapped from—”

“okay, i get it, bucky! you don't have to rub it in my fa—”

“but i won't be doing whatever is on your mind. you're sick, doll. it'll affect you. it's normal. hell, i look even worse when i used to get sick, but you? you still look so fucking lovely." he held your face gently, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “even then, i don't give a fuck on how messy you can get. i'm your boyfriend. i should be taking care of you, helping you feel better, and bringing back the glow in your eyes. please, baby. let me take care of you.”

this time, you were looking back at him. "you mean it?"

"of course I mean it," he replied softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "i love you, doll. i don't care how you look like right now. you could look like a swamp monster and be sick as a dog, and i would still think that you are the most beautiful woman for me."

you giggled softly, his words filling you with warmth and reassurance. you felt so lucky to have a man who truly loved you and handled your insecurities with such understanding and care, and even sillier for thinking he'd leave you for such reasons.

“thank you. that really made me feel better," you told him, your arms slowly creeping forward to hold him. “i'm sorry for hiding. i was just scared to turn you off or anything.”

“are you kidding? i'm trying my best not to hold you down and kiss you all over. i haven't even hugged you for a day,” bucky said, a pout on the verge of forming on his face.

“it hasn't even been a day, bucky. now, who's dramatic?" you said, rolling your eyes playfully. “and you're supposed to be on a mission tomorrow! are you really not going?”

“when i could be here taking care of you?” he asked, as if the answer was already obvious. “the others can handle it. my main priority is to do anything you want and make you feel better.”

“anything?”

he smiled, leaning down to let your lips meet softly. "anything."

( a lil bonus < 3 )

“what is that smell?”

sam, steve, and natasha entered the compound after a quick briefing for their mission tomorrow. they joined tony and clint who were having a casual conversation in the living room about the best burrito in town.

the kitchen was an open space, the aroma of whatever bucky was cooking spreading all around the nearby rooms.

sam didn't hesitate to come closer and inspect the kitchen, finding the entire counter lined up with various spices and plates that bucky filled with his dishes.

“what's the occasion? did i miss something?" sam asked, grabbing a fork to take a little taste until bucky slapped his hand away. "ow! what was that for?"

"hands off." bucky warned, frowning at sam. “that's not for you, wilson."

“not even a nibble? come on, man. it smells amazing!”

their usual bickering caught the attention of the other avengers, immediately joining them in the kitchen which annoyed bucky even more when he saw them eyeing the food he made.

"before any of you try to ask, no. this is not for any of you."

"who's it even for?" natasha asked, the least interested to have a taste, but was curious either way.

bucky answered with your name. "she's sick."

"what? since when?" clint asked, worry flashing across his face. "can we do anything?"

bucky glanced up before hesitantly answering. "well.. she did say she wanted to watch a movie after eating."

clint snapped his fingers and smiled. "i'm on it."

"i'll get jarvis to check on her vitals every hour and create a diagnosis," tony said, already tapping on his smart watch. "assuming she wouldn't be too comfortable letting the entire team know what's going on with her body, i'll just let you receive the updates. just update me with what you can, yeah?"

"i'll talk to fury and let you both have a week free from work," steve offered. "she needs the rest and she needs you."

"oh, i'll handle fury. he can't say no to his favourite," natasha said with a smug smile. "tell her i'll bring her all her favourite snacks once we're back from our mission, and that she better be back to full health so we can go out together."

bucky nodded, chest warming with the genuine concern they shared. he was excited to let you know how loved and deserving of all this you were.

if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌

[athynathens]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ lust for you.

“Poor baby can’t even take the pleasure anymore. Am I fucking you too stupid, doll?”

PAIRING. Bakugo Katsuki x You/Reader

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. This takes place in the Boku no Hero Academia Universe, but Class 1-A are not pro heroes, rather they are just ordinary people only. This implies that there are no quirks involved.

SYNOPSIS. You were asked to accompany your friend to a fan signing event to her favorite band. No matter how much you resist, you have no choice but to abide to your friend’s persuasion. There, you met a certain blond, known for his rough personality. Something attracted you to him — and him to you. The tension, the glances, the touches, the sparks…and the goddamn sex is fucking something.

WARNING. long oneshot, minors dni, porn with plot, 18+ scenes, mature scenes ahead such as soft to rough sex, 69, face-sitting, cunninglis, degradation, dirty talking, and chocking

AUTHOR’S NOTES. holy shit guys. I wasn’t really expecting my previous bakugo katsuki one shot to be such a hit. Im really grateful for the votes!! Here’s another smut oneshot for yall! I have other things in store such as a kiribaku x reader oneshot and daryl oneshot, but I figured that many wouldn’t like it since i am not that popular yet so imma do another bakugo oneshot!! hope yall enjoy this since i had a hard time thinking of an interesting plot. also btw, “your friend” won’t be given a name in this oneshot so that you may name her however you want.

When your friend is randomly nice to you, buying your favorite food and drink, offering to watch your favorite show — don’t you think this is where it gets suspicious? If there is one thing you’ve learned with your beloved friend is that there is always a reason for everything. However, there is a pattern to her manipulation.

The more things she got for you, the greater the reason behind her actions and vice versa.

You already have speculations with what your friend might want. It’s either she wants to watch the movie where her favorite actor stared in; it’s probably a trip to a mall; it’s possible she would want someone to do her homework. And heck, it isn’t even her birthday today.

It turns out…she wanted you to go with her to a fansigning event of the GZB aka the Ground Zero Boys.

You had no idea how the hell she managed to convinced you, but seeing how desperate your friend is, you began to see how much she adores the group. You’ve seen her room plastered with posters of them. She even watch their reality show so much to the point she got scolded for being so less attentive these days. You wondered if this group is even worthy enough for her to become so detach with life.

Yet seeing how she is on her knees, practically begging and pleading while hugging your legs. You almost had no choice but to say yes.

But the thing is that…

…you began to regret going.

“WE LOVE YOU, GZB!!”

“GZB! GZB! GZB!”

“RED RIOT!! LET ME LICK YOUR ABS!!”

“CHARGEBOLT!! YOU CUTIE PATOOTIE!!”

“CHOCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME, DYNAMIGHT!!”

“DEKU!! SLAP ME PLEASE!!”

“MARRY ME, SHOTO!!”

What kind of sorcery fuckery is this? You were astonished with the screams of desperation from the fans. You wanted to leave immediately because the yells kept increasing as their comments became more and more lewd. You can even see the securities are getting uncomfortable with their comments.

Damn. The sun isn’t even up yet. “These people are down bad for them…” You mumbled beneath your breath.

Your friend grabbed your wrist to guide you stay at the front of the doors, it was a tough and rough journey — you were stepped on, kicked on, pushed on, and pulled on.

You wanted to curse loudly for that rough journey. Heck! It wasn’t even supposed to be that fucking tough. However, your friend seemed really happy that you were there for her, so you decided to shrugged it off…for now.

After like what it felt like hours later, the doors finally opened, causing a riot to occur. Everyone was pushing each other, even though security was guiding everyone. You and your friend fought through the crowd of desperate fans till you two found a spot at the front. You had no idea if it’s luck, but the spot you two got is definetly a place where you can see them clearly, but it means they could see you two clearly as well.

Fans glared at the both of you out of jealously. They cursed at the both of you for getting such a clear spot to see them.

However, their glares diminished when the band finally revealed themselves to the crowd — looking all manly, dashing, confident, and handsome as fuck.

They greeted their fans, causing everyone to scream in support. The band can only laugh before introducing themselves with a mic.

Your eyes landed on a certain blonde guy with eyes so red it can penetrate your soul.

A couple of days ago, you did some research about the group, therefore, you absolutely knew who this person is, and he is…

“DynaMight,” He introduced himself gruffly.

Damn. That kind of hotness exists in this world, huh? The fans started to scream louder than before. To be honest, you can’t blame them since Dynamight is fucking hot, but the problem is that he is a bit…rough.

“Awww!! Kacchan here has fans after all!!” A cheerful blonde with a lightning strike on his hair teases.

“YOU WANNA DIE, DUNCE FACE?” Dynamight yelled angrily.

According to your research, he is known to have a rough personality, people would often mistaken him as mean, but that’s just really how he is. His rough personality parallels with his drumming skills. DynaMight brings out his angry emotions through drums, creating a somewhat desirable yet scary atmosphere around him.

There is not much known about him since he is pretty secretive and mysterious. It’s either that or he’s smart enough to hide from paparazzi.

The only known information is his real name, which is Bakugo Katsuki alias DynaMight.

As the day goes, you admitted that this fansigning event is quite entertaining. The interviews, the questions, and the answers are quite intriguing to listen to. You even had a thought if you should stan this group or not, definitely not stanning because of Dynamight only.

However, a question from Chargebolt made everyone’s ears perked up, especially your friend.

He asked if someone could guess what DynaMight’s favorite hobby is. Whoever can guess it correctly can win a chance to go up in stage and take a photo with DynaMight.

No one knew the answer to that, but it’s no surprise since he is secretive. However, you recalled that he would often post on Instagram about mountains and hiking gear. You came into a conclusion that he probably likes mountain climbing.

You elbowed your friend then, you whispered her the answer. She seemed hesitant to answer, but you gestured her with your head to say it on the mic.

With uneasiness, she got up to the mic and said her answer.

Bakugo’s wide eyes say it all, verifying that your friend got the right answer. Everyone cried in agony, disappointed that they lost their opportunity to make their wattpad life happen. Your friend only giggled then did a thumbs up to you while you shyly did the same thing.

“WHATTTT? You like mountain climbing, Katchan?” Chargebolt screamed, slamming the table with his hand.

Katusku clicked his tongue, “You’re just fucking oblivious, Dunce Face,” He replied with a middle finger.

“EXCUSE ME?” Kaminari retorted.

“Mountain Climbing? Say, Bakugo, wanna go with me sometime?” Todoroki asked nonchalantly.

“In your dreams, ice princess,” Bakugo middle fingered him.

“P-Please don’t start here…” Kirishima went in between the two, stopping them by the chest.

Deku clapped his hands, releasing the tension between the two. “Now! You may come up on the stage and take a pic with DynaMight!”

Your friend giggled once more, grabbing your wrist to pull you forward to take a pic with him. You tried to protest, but she was very stubborn so you had no choice but to agree. Besides, you protesting in the middle of this event is gaining the attention of the jealous fans.

Meanwhile, Bakugo Katsuki has his eyes on you.

You don’t seem to notice his gaze, and he wished it would be kept that way. The last thing he wants is for you to catch him staring at you.

He already knew that it was you who knew the answer to Denki’s question. The latter saw you whisper something to your friend’s ear before the latter got up to the mic to speak.

He had to admit, but he was fucking impressed since not even his stalkers know about this.

The blond watched as you shyly got up in stage. He watched your body movements — the way your body would shrink to the floor, the way your fingers fidget the front of your shirt, the way your thighs clenched, and the way your eyes avert away from his.

Shit. This is fucking bad. Katsuki gulped.

It’s been months since Katsuki had sex. Being an idol prevents him from doing such activities. To be more precise, his company does not allow their members to do pornographic work since it will ruin their image.

However, the band may or may not have disobeyed that rule.

The blond hasn’t gotten laid in months already. This is due to his fucking busy schedule — their strict CEO, the rules, the tours, the practices, their fans, their scandals, and stalkers are factors keeping him from going out to do his thing.

“Katsuki! Stop being so stiff and pose for the camera!” Kirishima yelled, cackling while clapping at the scene in front of him.

His eyes quivered, snapping back to reality as he immediately placed his hand on your shoulder while his other hand is on his pocket. Noises of cameras clicked from all sides, taking a picture of the rare photo of the one and only DynaMight alone with fans.

You can feel your heart beating uncontrollably. The weight of his hands left something on your stomach to your chest. You began to wonder if this is because he’s just fucking hot. No one in your college can even match his damn level. However, you decided to shrugged this feeling off and focused on the camera.

After a few minutes, the shooting ended. His band members only laughed while clapping, congratulating their angry-looking friend. While they were doing that, you can feel the weight on your shoulder dwindle.

You assumed that he was just removing his hand from your shoulder. What you were thinking was right, but it felt different.

Instead of lifting his hand, his fingers went down to your back as he traced your spine. Your back clenched at this seductive action of his. Thighs clenched and arched back as he continued tracing his fingertip down.

— Holy fuck, stop the car, you weren’t mentally ready for that.

You tried your best to not show any facial expressions at least, but it was fucking hard.

In the first place, you didn’t even know if he did this on accident or he’s actually teasing you. The last part sounded unbelievable since it is giving delulu vibes.

This is not the situation where delulu is solulu.

He stopped traching when he reached the end of your back, releasing his fingertips from your back. This allowed you to sigh in relief, feeling your own sanity coming back to you.

Katsuki watched as the staff member gestured you to go back to your places with your friend. He analyzed your movements, looking at your thighs and body as you walked to your place.

The event ended with a blast. Everyone was smiling in happiness as they all walked out those doors. Your friend kept fangirling on the photo incident both of you had with DynaMight. She can’t stop talking about how hot he was. Normally, you would get annoyed with her fangirling, but for once you agreed with her.

You may deny it, but you can’t shrugged the warm feeling he left across your back. The scent of his masculine cologne lingers around your upper body. Sniffing his cologne caused you to have a faint blush on your cheek. You can still remember that “sexual” action he did on your back. You couldn’t believe that his fingertips even had this effect on you in the first place.

You began shrinking down to the floor when you remembered how his eyes kept glancing in your direction — how he would suddenly grin and smirk when he caught you staring back.

Your cheeks were getting warmer each second so you excused yourself to use the bathroom. You practically ran to the bathroom, not wanting to delay any longer. As soon as you entered, you washed your face with cold water, trying to cool the warmness of the cheeks, but it isn’t working. Since it wasn’t working, you exited the bathroom with a disappointment look.

However, you stumbled across a hard chest which took you off balance. You were about to scold this person till you saw who it was — Bakugo fucking Katsuki. Your entire demeanor halted under his piercing gaze, you subconsciously lowered your head, not wanting to meet such a gaze.

“Oi. You were that distracted with your own thoughts to the point you didn’t even notice me?” He grumbled with a slight smirk.

Your throat gulped in response, “M-My b-bad…” You stuttered, immediately walking away from this situationship.

“How did you know?”

Your body turned, tilting your head in confusion. “How did I what?”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “Know about my hobby?”

“Why do you want to know?”

The blond clicked his tongue in annoyance, crossing his arms which bulges his arms even more. “Do ya always ask so much fucking questions? Just answer the fucking question.”

Your body flinched at his angry tone, causing you to look away from him now.

A sigh left your lips, “Through Instagram. You keep posting stuff about mountain climbing? So thats how I concluded your hobby.”

Katsuki arched his brow, crossing his arms while tilting his head to the side. “Hm. How interesting. Ya fan of mine?”

“No. I just got curious to why my friend like you and your band so much so I looked to all of your accounts,” You replied, not wanting expose that you are kinda a fan.

The corner of his mouth fought a smirk. “Oh? Ya for real?”

“Yeah. I am for real.”

“Hm. Nah. Don’t believe it.”

“That’s your problem, buddy.”

He bent down, leaning his body forward. “Exactly. That’s why you need to help me understand…” A cocky grin is now plastered on his face.

You scoffed. “Why me?”

He only stared at me for a moment, then he began letting out some laughter, displaying his teeth. You only stood there in confusion. I do not get his humor. His happy atmosphere flashed right through my soul — just like how white damn teeth.

Moments later, footsteps were getting closer to them. You didn’t have time to react, and Bakugo took the initiative to grab your arm to pull you inside a small room. He shoved you two inside that room. A rough hand covered the sounds coming from your mouth. You had the damn urge to just fucking bite his hand.

The footsteps later diminished, causing you to even curse loudly against his mouth. He rolled his eyes, and then he removed his hand on your mouth. He lets out an ick to feel your spit and saliva on his hand.

“Don’t give me that damn ick face! You pushed me in here with your damn gorilla hands on my fucking face!” You silently screamed.

“Listen, woman. Ya look fucking smart so think about it clearly. Would you rather be caught with me and start a rumor? I’m pretty sure ya already know how fucked up our fans can be,” He reasoned, wiping his hand on his pants.

Your tense eyes soften. “R-Right. My bad…”

It’s his turn to sigh. “It’s fine. Your reaction is understandable.”

Damn. You were surprised that this hot-tempered drummer can be considerate. If you were being so honest, it really contradicted his whole rough character.

Later, you just realized how close he is. The tight space made you two really collide with one another. His knee was in between your knees. Both of his hands are actually trapping you; the right hand beside your head and the other is beside your forearm. The room began to heat up — or maybe that was just you.

“Nervous?” He asked gruffly.

Fuck. You don’t even want to look up, knowing his cocky grin is on his face right now.

Your hand slowly reached for the doorknob. “U-Um. Maybe I should get goi—” You were interrupted when he swiftly grabbed the doorknob and locked it.

Your heart beats faster, scared or probably excited with what’s happening.

“I’ll be fucking straight forward. I want sex, and I seem to want you to satisfy me.” Your face turned into a tomato at his straightforwardness.

“W-Why me?” You just had to ask.

“I want you. Isn’t that enough?” He answered, slowly creeping his hand around your waist.

“O-Okay…? But I’m a virgin…”

“That doesn’t matter to me. I’ll be slow. Besides, if we talk about weirdness, don’t you think it’s supposed to you weirded out by me asking for sex?” Bakugo asked, holding you in place.

You tilt your head, “Weird? What do you mean?”

The blonde chuckled pathetically, “I’m an idol, expected to be that perfect doll for the fans to practically do anything they want to do. Here I am, asking someone to relieve my sexual needs…”

“There’s nothing weird about it. You’re human who craves for physical touch, and I don’t blame you for that. Besides, I don’t think you should be ashamed of craving for it. Craving for something is what reminds us that we are human.”

A shimmer and twinkle counterclockwise his eyes. His mouth began to create a small smile, satisfied with your answer. He remembered that he asked this question to other of his flings, and he wasn’t satisfied with their answers — they always answer the same thing: “quit your job then” or “you chose this life so live up to it.”

How can he explain to a total damn stranger that being an idol is both his gift and curse; it’s similar to a love-hate relationship. Bakugo can’t just quit and leave his job since drumming is his passion and source of happiness. It was the only way to relieve his stress and anger plus earn profit from. He turned his passion into something he can get money from. And he truly wished that it would be like that. Therefore, he just can’t quit.

The blonde brought his hand on your face, removing the baby hair covering your blushing face. “I’ll ask again…” He rested his hand on your cheek, feeling the heat against his skin. “…do you want to sleep with me?”

You looked away, eyes quivering in excitement and nervousness. “T-Take it slow p-please…”

He shook his head and used his finger to guide your chin to his face. “Words, please.”

“Y-Yes…”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Katsuki brought you back to one of his houses in Japan. He drove from the fansigning event to his house with his motorcycle. The blond fondled across his pants and aggressively looked for the right key to open the door. He got angrier each minute, feeling his bulge on his pants.

Not to mention, he didn’t want to keep the lady waiting.

You noticed his stressed state so your hand positioned itself on his. “I’m not going anywhere so calm down.”

His breath hitched with your soothing tone, causing him to calm his tense shoulders. With a clear mind, he shuffled across the keys till he found the right one. As soon as he did, he dragged you inside and slammed you on the door. Your loud gasped echoed on his ears, and he immediately crashed his lips against yours.

You whimpered against him, feeling his tongue lick across your lips. Your mouth opened, allowing his tongue to toy and manipulate it with his own. His calloused hands travelled down your hips then to your ass, squeezing it before he lifted you.

He guided your legs around his hips, pushing his hard bulge into your clit. You moaned loudly against his mouth, releasing juices in your pussy. You knew he was screaming “big dicc energy” but you never apprehended that he will be this fucking big.

He pulled away for a moment. “Fuck. I’m so sorry,” He apologizes, caressing your body.

“I didn’t ask if I can kiss you…Fuck, you’re driving me so damn crazy…” He added, pushing you down to his bulge.

Your cheeks heated up, “I-Its okay…I already said yes to you a while ago…”

Bakugo rested his head to your shoulder. “Shit, I’m sorry but your first might be on the sofa and not on a bed. I can’t wait any longer.”

You smiled, “Location doesn’t matter. The person I’m with is what matters.”

An arrow stuck his heart, cheeks heating up with those words. It stimulated something inside him, his heart beating faster than normal — by normal, it means that he never felt this thirsty and hungry for someone else.

This was his first time being this hungry for someone.

His hands that were on your legs traveled up slowly, groping and caressing your thighs. He then landed his hands around your neck, placing pressure around the circumference of your neck. This caused you to chocked a bit, giving him the opportunity to lock lips again.

Both his hand and lips suffocated you, making you dizzy from pleasure and pain. Your hands gripped his chest, then traveling it up to his neck. You landed your hands on his hair, bringing him closer to you, forcing both of your bodies to collide even more. His bulge was long and fat, you can feel it resting on your stomach. The thought of it caused you to shiver in ecstasy.

He suddenly started walking, not even thinking of removing his lips from you. While doing so, he skillfully removed his leather jacket and held you by your ass, groping it as hard as he can. With the support of his hands, you tried to unbuckle his belt. This action can only make him laugh against the kiss.

“Calm down, sweetheart. I have all night to ravish you completely,” He whispered, licking his upper lips. Your face heated up, realizing how eager you were.

He gently let you down on the sofa and retracted his body from yours. With a smirk, he placed his hands on his back and slowly removed his shirt. His abs placed quite a show as his shirt got disposed to the ground.

“Got all shy, didn’t ya babe?” He asked, bending down to your thighs.

“Don’t worry…” He pecked your thighs while staring at your eyes. “…I’ll take care of ya, sweetheart,” He winked before pulling down my pants and undies in one go.

The cold air brought shivers to your heated bottom. Just by the thought of your own pussy bare in front of his eyes made you shy. Therefore, you subconsciously closed your legs, not wanting to embarrassed yourself further.

Bakugo growled, “I never asked to cover up, babe.”

“B-But it’s embarrassing…” You stuttered out, attempting to cover your pussy more by bringing down your sweater. Although, this action only caused your shoulders and breasts to be more noticeable.

The blond only chuckled, combing his hair back. “Sweetheart, I’m letting this go since this is your first time.” Your head tilted, confused with what he is insinuating.

He unexpectedly shifted your legs in an angle where he can bare your pussy on the breeze. Then, he suddenly opened it, by the ankle holding them tightly. The blond dropped a saliva on your pussy, making you to shiver as your pussy clenched at the warm sensation.

“Never, as in never, close your fucking legs. Your pussy…” He lets one of your legs go to only slightly touch your clit. “…is worth exploring. My cock and fingers is eager to tour around your pussy.”

Holy shit. This is not what you expect in sex. Sure you’ve heard about dirty talking, but never did you think that such words would rile you up. Your fingers covered your eyes, leaving small gaps in between to see the view.

“W-What about yours…?” You asked shyly. “W-Will I explore y-yours too..?”

Katsuki only chuckled, traveling his hands down to your thighs from your ankles. He asked with alluring tone, “Ever heard of 69, sweetheart?”

Your face heated up. Of course you know what that is, all the sex talk with your friend has corrupted your mind. Never in your life would’ve thought that you will experience it.

Your head moved up and down, agreeing to his question. This action made him grin in satisfaction. “Good, that’s what we will do. Are ya up for it, babe? No harm in saying no.”

You shuddered — him being considerate stimulated your innermost needs. So, you can’t help but say yes….

Katsuki did not hesitate and flipped you over. He laid his back on his couch while your clit’s on top of his pecs. Oh fuck. You only realized how embarrassing this position is. Juices from your pussy only dripped down to his pecs, and you can feel pussy clenching and unclenching. You had no idea what to be embarrassed of first. 

Him staring at your bare pussy or the fact that your pussy is reacting like this.

“What a beautiful pussy,” He claimed, placing his middle finger on your folds. This caused more juices to spill out. You only shivered, gasping loudly when you released more of your juices.

“Holy fucking fuck, sweetheart,” He bit his lip, realizing how wet you are.

Blushes of red swept across your face, filling every skin with its redness. All this blushing almost made you forget about an aching bulge in front of your face. Your hands unbuckled his belt and pushed down his boxers and pants.

This is where you only noticed how it towered your face; it was in fact huge and thick. Now, you’re wondering if this would even fit inside you due to its humongous size.

“Go on, sweetheart,” He ordered softly. “Suck it.”

With much hesitation, you wrapped your fingers around his shaft. Bakugo shuddered, feeling your cold fingers on his warm cock. This only triggered him to further toy with your pussy, causing you to whimper.

The blond noticed the limited movements you’re doing. The latter growled softly, bringing his hands to your clit and began pressing and rubbing it. The actions made you squirmed, accidentally falling forward. Doing so caused you to feel the sticky and slimy sensation on your cheek.

“C’mon, sweetheart, don’t make me wait,” He practically pleaded.

You bit your lip, holding his cock to bring it closer to your mouth. Placing your tongue out slightly, you licked the tip to taste it. Given that it is your first time, you started on by licking his length first. You brought your tongue down his shaft while pressing down his tip.

You suddenly felt a finger going inside you. Your body shivered, bringing goosebumps with the new feeling — it was uncomfortable yet you didn’t mind it. Feeling a bit bold, you decided to at least suck the tip. This is where your jaw ached. You knew he was big, but now you are sucking him, you never knew that he was this damn big.

What the fuck. My mouth already hurts. You tried sucking him deeper, but it really hurt your jaw. Katsuki began to chuckle slightly, realizing what you are attempting.

“I appreciate the eagerness, sweetheart, but take it slow. I need your mouth to scream for me later,” He fondled your ass, grinning at your adorable actions.

You slowly look behind, staring into his eyes with your teary ones. “U-Um…’m sorry…” You shivered, almost letting a tear drop.

Bakugo’s pupils shrunk.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, but I think we need to continue this 69 position another time,” Bakugo suddenly declared.

“H-Huh…what do you—” You were suddenly pulled back by the hips and landed on his face.

You exploded in embarrassment, realizing your bare pussy is on his fucking face. You extended your arms, trying to crawl your way out, but he held your hips tighter. You squirmed under his hold, but you gasped loudly when a wet object touched your folds — his tongue.

“W-Wait…!” You pleaded, but he didn’t budge.

His tongue was one of the wonders of this damn earth. He skillfully licked the outer and inner folds of your pussy — toying and sucking them like tits. You can feel his tongue swirling around them, causing your back to arch. Suddenly, his hands that were around your hips traveled down to your clit.

You gasped loudly, clutching down to his pecs in ecstasy. His hands effortlessly rubbed your clit, stimulating your pussy to juice out more liquid for him to eat, swallow, and devour. The blond never halted his actions, whether he needs to breathe or take a break, he did not stop toying with your pussy till you are at his mercy.

Katsuki groaned, electrifying your pussy in pleasure. He got bolder and deliberately inserted one finger inside your pussy. His eyes rolled back, feeling your soft walls clenching around his fingers. He salivated on how soft your insides felt, his cock harden in delight which almost triggered him to rapture prematurely.

Your body began to lose it’s stance so you collapsed down to his chest. You collapsing This new position exposed your pussy even more, juicing out more liquid to his mouth. The folds became more defined, allowing him to get a better view of your pussy.

“Fuck, doll, your pussy’s enticing,” He licked his lips.

The blond lifted you up by the armpits, placing you directly down his lap. You winced and shiver from exhaustation while this motherfucker grinned cockily. His arms wrapped your waist, pulling you closer. Your tits and his pecs were colliding along with your bare pussy and cock. “You feelin’ aight, sweetheart?” He asked with a grin, holding you closer.

You blushed, looking away from his predatory gaze. The blond only chuckled, grabbing your chin and pulled your face forward while making you face him. “When I ask…” He whispered, pushing your excess hair away from your cheek. “…you answer, doll.”

Your jaw clenched, gulping along the way. “I-I’m feeling a-alright, B-Bakugo-k-kun…”

His mouth lets out a ‘tsk’ sound. “Call me Katsuki. Understand?”

You nodded shyly, “Y-Yes…K-Katsuki…”

He smirked, “Good girl,” He declared, locking lips with yours.

Your mouth gasped, creating an entrance for his tongue to pass by. The dominance he displayed was shown through his tongue. With feral force, he pushed your entire body backward. What’s holding you in place was his huge arms. Your back was leaning heavily onto those arms as he shallowed every sound you make. His mouth flatten around your mouth, toying and completely manipulating every move your tongue does.

Katsuki was kissing you with such passion, you completely forget about the cock in between your bodies. You only mewl loudly when your pussy rubbed against his cock. You felt him smirk against your mouth. He continued kissing you while holding you tightly. Bakugo pulled your lower half closer to his cock, sinking it into the folds of your pussy.

“Keep your eyes on me,” He rasps,

He then guided your hips up and down…up…down…up…down.

Katsuki groaned, face red from excitement and pleasure. He has would grit his teeth and clench his jaw, still guiding your hips by force. His movements gradually went faster. You only gasped loudly as your body bounced from his brutal movements.

Katsuki’s jaw clenches, imagining his cock balls deep inside your exquisite pussy. He would fucking imagine how he would just manhandle you, throwing you around in his house, fucking you in every corner. He imagined every single detail while staring closely at your panting face.

As your body bounces, your hands had no idea where to go. You tried gripping his shoulders, but it ended up bouncing off so your hands traveled down, landing on his knees. You held onto them, allowing your tits to bounce freely. Bakugo only licked his lips at the enthralling sight.

Fucking hell. He imagined your tits bouncing when you ride his cock hard. Bakugo only gripped you tighter, ferociously grinding your hips against his cock.

You can feel an unfamiliar feeling circulating your stomach. “S-Something’s c-coming…!!”

Katsuki’s eyes widen a bit then harden, realizing what’s about to happen. With every sheer force he had left, he managed to stop his movements. His body tingled brutally, with a growl not fucking satisfied the fact that he had to halt his actions. Meanwhile, your eyes watered up, wondering why he had to stop this pleasure.

His jaw clenched, “‘m gonna fuck ya. Ya ready, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes…p-please…” You pleaded, a tear slipped out of your eye.

Katsuki grabbed a condom from the pocket of his back pants. With one hand, he ripped out the condom with the help of his mouth. He spat out the excess plastic on his mouth and began inserting it around his cock. You can only watch him — his cock was perfectly wrapped around the condom, and it somehow turned you on even more.

He laid you down softly, grabbing a nearby pillow and placing it on your lower back. His calloused hands travelled up your thighs, bringing them closer around his waist. Katsuki bent down, immediately locking lips with you. The sounds of kissing echoed the room, giving the love and attentiion needed to your mouth.

“I’m going to enter, doll. Ya ready for me?” He asked softly, caressing your cheek.

“M-Mhm….” Your mouth couldn’t find the right words anymore; this overwhelming feeling was simply too much, and his cock isn’t even invading your insides yet.

He smirked, aligning his cock into your pussy while locking his lips again with yours. His mouth invaded yours as he pushed his cock inside you a bit. You gasped against the kiss, arching your back to relieve some kind of pain. Katsuki panted, feeling his tip breaking in your virgin walls. He did not hesitate to lock lips again, yanking your hips tighter.

You kept thrashing your arms around, clutching onto his chest, shoulders, hair — anything. He continued to slowly enter his cock inside you till he finally entered you half-way. You let out a loud cry, pulling away from the kiss as you panted heavily. Bakugo looked at you with concern, wiping away all your hair out of your face.

“Talk to me, doll. Are you okay? You want to stop?” He asked, trying his best to halt his actions.

“I-Im fine…i-it just hurts…a-are you all i-inside…?” You asked while tearing up.

Katsuki only chuckled, “I’m only half way inside, sweetheart.”

Your eyes widen, surprised to know that since you are feeling full already. His length was huge and veiny, your walls can even feel how it twitches inside of you. Your head throws back while your legs shake violently.

What minutes felt like forever. Katsuki did not move the slightlest and waited for you to adjust to his size. He kept whispering words of encouragement, telling you what a good girl you are. His mouth made contact with your forehead, kissing you tenderly.

“Y-You can move…” You stuttered, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Are you sure? Because…” He asked, groaning as he felt you clenched around him. “…once I start, I won’t stop.”

“I-It’s okay….I trust you…” You declared.

His body stiffen when he heard those words, pulling his cock away slightly then putting it in slowly. The sensitivity of your body couldn’t take the new feeling, you started to hug Bakugo tightly.

Katsuki positioned his head on your shoulders, nibbling and licking your shoulders to your neck. The slow pace was surprisingly pleasurable to him. He can picture and feel your walls better, almost as if he’s analyzing them.

The pleasure was too much for him, his hand gripped the coffee table beside him and crushed it.

The sound of woods breaking exhilarated something in you. The mere fact that he had to break something because of you just made you moan, causing you to tighten up. Katsuki deliberately bit your shoulder, sensing your walls tighten around him.

The latter began to fasten his movements, gradually feeling the pleasure build up on his body. You only held him tighter, intertwining your fingers on his blond hair. Your mouth panted heavily, the pleasure of his cock moving in and out of you was giving you such a bliss.

You pulled his face away from your shoulder, holding his cheeks. You caressed them with a smile, “I-It’s okay….y-you can go harder…”

“W-What,” His eyes widen.

You continued to smile, “I can take it. You can give it to me,” Your eyes watered in desperation.

Katsuki almost came into the scene in front of him. The moonlight helped define your looks even more. The glow in your orbs illustrated your desperation and need for him. The feel and sight of your sweaty body made him grit his teeth, trying to stop himself from letting his juices out.

Fuck. He couldn’t take it anymore. He straightens his body and grips your hips tighter. With that, he rammed everything in. Your pupils shrunk, choking from the sudden movement.

He threw his head back, face tingling in pleasure. His mouth almost salivated from this ecstasy. Katsuki pulled his cock out to the tip and force his cock inside you again. The latter groaned in delight, eyes twitching as he kept doing this movement.

With the pleasure he’s giving you, your mouth can only leave a scream. Your hands traveled up, trying to find something to grip. Katsuki gripped your hips tighter, holding them up at in angle. His movements increased, rapidly moving his cock in and out.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck..!” He rasps, his hips stuttering with desire.

Katsuki then shoved your knees to your shoulders, folding you in half. He held your ankles then began assaluting your walls again. The new position chocked you in surprised. You can clearly feel and see his cock. Your mouth cried out, feeling his thick and long cock practically persecuting your pussy.

The ferocious force of his thrusts caused your lower back to hurt, but the pleasure overpowered that pain.

With a loud roar, Bakugo flatten his hips to your pelvic to the point it fucking hurts. He held you tightly, his cock releasing all his juices inside the condom.

Your back arched with a scream, your insides can feel how the condom expand. It expanded inside of you so much, you can feel your stomach getting bloated.

Holy shit. You gripped his shoulders so tightly with a scream. You even began punching him on the shoulders softly from the overwhelming pleasure. Thus, you came hard.

“T-Too much..!!” You cried out, shutting your eyes which made more tears fall out.

“F-Fuck…j-just a little more, sweetheart,” He stuttered, still releasing his semen in the condom.

Few seconds has passed, and Bakugo finally pulled out slowly. You choked, your walls feeling empty without his cock. The mix of your wet juices and creamy substances pools your lower half. The blond tied the condom before throwing it to the side and getting another one.

Your eyes widen, seeing him putting on another condom. You stuttered, “A-Again…?”

“Damn right. Chest by the coffee table and ass up, sweetheart. My cock quenches for your wet juices,” He grinned, combing his hair back which revealed his sweaty forehead.

With shaking legs, you crawled down from the sofa; you had a feeling that your aching lower half can’t handle the weight of standing up. Bakugo whistled, seeing how your ass moved. The latter licked his lips, noticing how plump it looks especially if you arch your back like that.

Bakugo stood up as soon as your tits are pressed against his glass coffee table. He smirked, watching your vulnerable state. Seeing how your legs are barely keeping you up just made you extra irresistible.

He then sat down with his ass practically infront of his cock, and he allowed his fingers to travel down your spine, making you shiver from his sudden contact. “Aww, what’s wrong, doll? Can’t handle this?”

You bit your lower lip, not expecting his sudden mocking attitude. You can feel his fingertips lowering, tracing your spine sensually. Then, his calloused hands groped your ass. You gasped, moving forward a bit from his ruthless grip.

You heard him cursed beneath his breath, his fingers held your ass tighter. He watched as his fingers sunk down the soft flesh of your ass. His eyes darkened, getting amused and aroused by this tension.

“You know, sweetheart…” He suddenly spoke. “…how I usually fuck my night stands are all about rough but quick sex.”

Then, he flatten his palm to your back, travelling up, “But for some reason when it comes to you, I want to see how long you’ll hold till I devour you slowly .” His fingers tangled around the tips of your hair.

You gulped then asked, “W-What do you m-mean..??”

Katsuki chuckled, “It means, doll…” He grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled it back, lifting you up from the table. “…I want to ravish you till you break, till your legs shake, till your pussy is leaking, till your mouth is sore.”

Your eyes widen, gasping from the pain of your hair being pulled and from his dirty words. Bakugo used his free hand to suffocate your breath. “The previous fuck was just me being nice. Now, I will fuck you till you’re so damn stupid.”

Before you can even respond, he shoved his entire cock inside your pussy. You screamed, attempting to fall down to the coffee table. Katsuki’s hand around your neck prevented you to do so. He lead down, his mouth whispered lowly, “Look at your right side, doll,” He asked you.

You did and you saw the broken wooden edge of the coffee table. “Ya see that? I broke my precious coffee table because of you.”

Bakugo then leaned his hips backward and slowly shoved his cock back inside you. “Your pussy was that good around my cock. My body yearns for more — you and your tempting pussy will satisfy me.”

You only moaned in respond, feeling his pelvis slowly slamming against your ass. Your eyes rolled back from pleasure, watering your eyes along the way. Katsuki held your neck tighter, his mouth letting out small moans against your ear.

He suddenly lets out a growl, pushing you down to the coffee table. He lifted your ass a bit higher then began shoving his cock faster. His tongue licked his upper lip, his hands used the globes of your ass as a tool to shove you back and forth against his cock.

When you clenched, he roared loudly, “Fuck yeah. Give it to me like that. Holy shit,” He babbled, the sweat travelled down his entire body.

Without pulling out, Katsuki lifted your body on the coffee table and laid your body to the side. He leaned a bit forward and pressed down on the side of your waist. You couldn’t move because of his strength allowed him to properly manhandled you.

This new angle caused you to hit the table multiple times due to the overwhelming esctacy.

The blond chuckled, seeing you struggle under him. “Poor baby can’t even take the pleasure anymore. Am I fucking you too stupid, doll?”

You only squirmed, forcing your head to look at him. His teeth gritted in lust, seeing how your face is flushed with redness, eyes all teared up and drool dripping down your mouth. Not to mention, your body was coated with a mix of your sweat and his. This caused your body to shone under the moonlight, which made you even more exquiste for him.

“P-Please….c-can’t..I-I—” Your mouth can’t even form a proper word from all the moaning you’re producing.

The blond smiled — not a sweetly or lustful way; it’s more on a predatory smile. His eyes displayed all the emotions he had felt at the moment.

He was lusting over the fact you became this stupid after a few rounds. He was lusting by the fact that you knew him better than his team mates. He was lusting over your intelligence and observation on his love for mountain climbing. He was lusting everything about you.

— Katsuki Bakugo needed you.

“C-Can’t what, doll?” He mocked your tone, not removing the smile on his face. “Can’t take it anymore, hm?”

Watching you nod so quickly increased his need for you. “That’s too bad, doll…” He pulled all of his cock out.

“You’re going to fucking take it all,” He rammed everything in, instantly hitting a special spot inside you.

Your body arched, feeling your body being electrified as you let out a silent scream.

He laughed rutherlessly, looking down at your fucked up state. The man continued pulling his entire cock out and shoving it in like a feral animal in heat. His hips barbarously pushed forward, making your skin bounce from the impact. Your breasts began to hurt from this painful thrusts — heck, your entire body is already hurting yet it’s still so fucking pleasureable.

Your stomach began to coil a familiar feeling. That’s when you realized that you’re about to come. This new feeling overstimulated your insides more, you placed a hand on Katsuki’s abs and pleaded, “S-Slow d-down..! I’m c-coming..!”

He grinned and then winked at you before rolling his hips to an angle and collided his hips on your ass. You screamed, feeling his cock hitting another milestone inside you.

“You’re in luck, doll. I am close too,” He uttered with a raspy tone.

After a few more thrusts, he came with a roar as you creamed around his cock.

Both of you panted in exhaustion. His hips still stuttered as he expanded the condom with his creamy substance. After a few seconds, he pulled out, oozing out your white essence.

Your nose sniffles from all the cries. His hands extended, reaching for your cheek. “Are you feeling alright? Do you think you can continue?”

Your eyes widen in shock, “C-Continue…?!?”

Katsuki chuckled at your reaction. “I’m not yet satisfied as you can see,” He smirked, and you noticed his cock hardening again.

“Didn’t I tell you?” He grabbed another condom from his back pocket. “I’ll ravish you till I’m satisfied, and I’m not yet close to satisfaction. Ya go for it? No pressure if you say no.”

With your shaking body, you sat down on the coffee table. You used your mouth to rip the plastic off the condom. Katsuki watched you in shock. You removed the plastic from your mouth and grabbed the condom. Katsuki watched as you pushed the condom into his pecs.

You looked away from his face, embarrassed by what you did. “You said you’ll fuck me till I break,” You blushed.

“I’m not yet broken, Katsuki…”

His face shivered in delight, a blush seen on his face while he bit his lower lip in exhilaration.

“Tits on the glass window. I want my window tainted by your sweat, doll.”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝙣𝙤 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩.

[scudslut]

Ok hear me out. Reader and Daryl go on a run for supplies with a few other people. Reader makes a mistakes and almost gets seriously hurt/ near death experience. Daryl gets pissed at reader, maybe yells at her. Reader laughs it off and acts like she doesn’t gaf. Daryl later finds reader all shaken up and crying by herself. Love if you don’t, love if you do!

stay with me

daryl x fem!reader

wc: 2k

warnings: typical twd gore/violence, mentions of death, mentions of trauma/ptsd

a/n: absolutely love me some good fluffy angst, thank u nony❤️ i hope you like it:))

As much as you tried to prepare yourself for the inevitable situations runs would put you in, the blood-chilling reality of it never got any easier. No amount of mental prep could stove off the sounds and smell of the dead, nipping ravenously for a taste of your sweet living flesh.

Of course, over time you’d learned just to shut your brain off and fight. Fight as hard and tirelessly as you possibly could, but mistakes could still be made. Shit happened, whether it was your fault or not.

Hours earlier, a group of you went a few miles east of the prison; Daryl having spotted a little strip a few days prior, not too overrun that he thought might be loot-worthy.

It was a simple run really. Keep close, hit a few shops in and out, then head back home. That’s it. Follow the plan, get as much useful shit as possible, and get the fuck out of there. You guys had it down to a science at this point, runs becoming so second nature it was almost too easy to let your guard down nowadays.

“Hey D, I’m gonna go check the storage room back here. Might have something we could use,” you voiced to your partner a few isles down, still keeping your tone as low as you could.

“Gimme a sec, I'll come help ya,” you heard him say but you kept moving. You two had already cleared the main area, you could handle a walker or two if there actually was any behind the small door. You figured you would’ve heard something by now, some sort of banging or grumbling to announce their presence, but there was nothing, the coast presumably clear.

You should have waited.

Crossing the few miscellaneous isles you reached the back door, giving it a small rattle. Still complete silence, not even the faintest groan or shuffle. Knife at the ready, hand clamped over the cool metal handle, your heart rate picked up a notch as it always did before opening into the unknown.

“You got this, come on,” you muttered to yourself, before throwing the door open, bracing for attack. The door flew wide, only to reveal a dark, empty room. Squinting through the dimness, a few high, dusty shelves were visible, stocked with all sorts of canned goods. Fuck yea, that was certainly useful.

“D! Come look what I found!” you rasped, dropping your knife into its holster and shuffling in. You unslung your backpack from your shoulders, digging through it for a flashlight excitedly. It’s been so long since you’ve found this much canned food, surely enough to keep the group well stocked through most of the winter that was approaching. A loud creak from the left caught your attention as you sped forward. Hands finally finding purchase on the flashlight, you flicked it on, scanning across the room to the sound.

Dust caked the air, making the already dark room fuzzier and your eyes took a minute to adjust. You took a few smaller steps closer, peering wearily ahead and then you saw them.

Beady, soulless eyes staring back. A whole rickety staircase of them, heads turning one by one to the light source in your hand.

“Oh fuck.”

There had to be at least 10 of them that you could see, the top of the stairs pitch black and unrevealing.

Your feet stumbled backward, hands desperately reaching for the knife at your hip, dropping the flashlight in the process. It rolled and caught under your heels, knocking you on your ass as the corpses advanced, jaws snapping.

These were those moments. When you felt your heart in your throat, brain stuttering on action. Time moved so slowly that the fragments were almost visible and every thought screaming in your mind sounded like gibberish. You know you should move, is that what it was screaming?

The first one got to you, grabbing your leg trying to crawl up and finally, you were kicking, scrambling, grabbing onto the knife and slamming it into its skull with a loud squelch.

“Daryl!” you yelled. You needed him. Now.

3 more dropped before you, slinking towards you and you were trapped — the first corpse lying heavily over your midsection.

“Yea, yea girl. I heard ya,” you heard him respond, still sounding a few isles away.

No no no, this was not how you were gonna die. Not today. Please.

You kept stabbing, each kill taking everything out of you as you struggled against the body weight atop you. They just kept piling, you could hardly feel your legs anymore, the circulation surely cut off below your knees. And more were coming, a never-ending stream of hunger.

Another one landed before you and you had just enough time to catch its shoulders before it was inches away, snapping at your neck. Your arms burned, tears welling in your eyes as you realized this could be it. You didn’t know how much longer you had before they gave out and rotting teeth would be sinking into you, tearing you apart.

The walker kept snapping, so close you could see the layers of rotting flesh peeling from its face. You had been close to walkers before, had stared into the lifeless eyes too many times to count, but this was different. More were coming and the face in the reflection of its eyes was barely recognizable — terror painting every feature you’d known on you distorted.

The bones cracked in its left shoulder and it dislocated, dropping down to centimeters from your skin.

“No,” you sobbed quietly. Daryl wasn’t going to make it, you knew that. He was going to walk in and find his girl as dinner. You hoped he just booked it, and didn’t waste his time trying to save what would long be gone.

The walker fell limp in your arms and you flinched harshly, expecting excruciating pain to follow as it bit. But there was nothing.

“The fuck are ya doing! Get up!”

Daryl was suddenly right before you, ripping each body off your aching limbs and you were now acutely aware of the larger pile by the stairs, all with arrows and stab wounds littering their heads. When had he gotten in here?

You didn’t hear his words, adrenaline coursing so loudly through your system that all that could be heard was a loud, shrill ringing.

“Goddammit girl, wake the fuck up!” he shouted, grabbing you by the shoulders in an attempt to lift you. Your brain caught up then, as he harshly placed you on your feet. Walkers scattered the floor around you, and a grumble at the stairs announced it wasn’t the last of them.

Daryl reached down, grabbed your dropped items, and shoved them in your dumbstruck hands. “We’re gettin’ outta here, now,” he seethed, dragging you along and slamming the door behind you both, crossing the lines of isles quickly to the front entrance.

The fresh, afternoon air hit your nose in a gust and the last of the fuzz chipped itself from your senses slowly.

“Hope yer fuckin happy with yerself. Can’t ever listen to a goddamn word’a mine, can ya?” Daryl quipped beside you. His eyes were slits as they dug into you, so fuming you could see the heat radiating off his skin in the early autumn brisk.

He was angry at you, you knew that. But you also knew it was because he was scared. Hell, you were fucking terrified to stone back there, but if you wanted to calm him down at all, you knew you had to act unfazed.

Gathering any remaining wits about you, you took a deep inhale, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting them.”

He didn’t respond, wouldn’t even look at you anymore as he began to pace the graveled parking lot.

“Hey don’t stress Dar. I’m alive, we’re good,” you attempted to soothe further.

“Don’t stress? Yer a real piece a work, y’know that! Always fucking up everyone’s shit cause ya don’t wanna use yer brain, huh?”

Well, that did not go as you expected.

The rest of the group had started shuffling out of the other shops around you, making their way to the vehicles.

“Jeez, you need to lighten up,” you brushed past him, head high. You couldn’t let his words affect you, not with all the other emotions coursing as well. You didn’t understand what he meant. You had never put anyone other than yourself in danger, how could you possibly be fucking over everyone else?

You decided to wait in the car as the rest of the group went back for the cans, tag-teaming whatever walkers remained. The loot had decently filled both trunks and everyone was happy to call it a day and head back.

Your eyes followed Daryl as he jumped into your car, eyes trained on the windshield, “Ya alright at least?” he muttered glancing at you briefly while shifting the car into drive.

“I’m good, you big grump,” you huffed with a tight-lipped smile. “That much food will last us a long time. I believe a thank you is in order, don’t you think?”

You were not good. Not at all, but there was no reason to worry him anymore, putting him through enough today as it was. Your hands were shoved tightly under your thighs, so he couldn’t see the tremors racking through you.

You had smelt death so many times it didn’t bother you much anymore. Today you had smelt your own. Saw your life in that walker's eyes, mere seconds away from demolition. It was safe to say you were shaken to your core.

The journey back was silent, both not in the mood to chat for very different reasons, and the whole time you were trying to keep each breath of yours steady.

You helped unload as much as you could, before slipping away discreetly to your cell. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this, you felt kind of pathetic honestly. This was life now, it had been this way for a long time now, you shouldn’t be so shaken up as you were but the terror just wouldn’t leave your body.

Panic washed over you once again as your eyes hit your dim cell. Your mind was quickly slipping back into those last moments, the darkness and dust all too similar. The fear you had felt coating your veins icily and your breaths started to become agitated. There was nowhere else to go though. If you left the cell someone would see you.

Subconsciously, you backed yourself into the corner of the room, crumbling down to the floor with your head in your hands. Deep down you hoped your hyperventilating would knock you out. You didn’t want to think anymore — see it anymore. Tears were burning the back of your throat as you held down sobs, feeling the walker's hands and weight atop of you all again.

A small yelp escaped you when the hands became real. Pressure on your shoulders and waist and your head snapped up from its hiding spot, reflexes already prepared to fight whatever presence was with you.

“It’s jus’ me, hey, hey,” you heard through your panic, his blue eyes just recognizable through blurry tears. “S’okay, relax.”

You couldn’t calm down this time, vicious sobs finally breaking their way out of your frame. Running was your first thought; you didn’t want anyone to see you like this, Daryl or not. Emotions were never a strong suit of yours and would always find yourself dealing with them in private, away from sympathetic words and pitying eyes. But Daryl was never like that, he drew you in and held you tight, uttering no more words other than the ones to confirm it was him. If you asked him to say more, he would, but he knew this was what you needed. Someone to ground you back onto Earth and out of whatever images tormented your head.

So that’s what he did. Held you for hours as your body expelled all its terror and lingering adrenaline. He’d give quiet coos through each wave of shakes, grabbing a blanket to warm you through the cold sweats. And finally, once the fear faded to exhaustion, he scooped you up off the stiff concrete and into your soft cot.

“Stay with me?” you rasped, throat parched and raw from crying.

It wasn’t a second thought for him. He was never truly angry with you, and he knew you knew that. He needed you safe with him.

“Always.”

[buggyjuggie]

Could you do Johnny, Kitana, Kung Lao, Syzoth, and/or Smoke w/ a reader who has a Katya Zamolodchikova type personality/sense of humour? I'm talking pure chaos, but with a loving and caring vulnerable side. :)

──★ ˙ ̟ Johnny Cage, Kitana, Kung Lao, Syzoth and Smoke x GN!reader with a Katya personality

Note: I watched so much rupauls drag race just for this request because i was so scared of getting something wrong oh god i really hope you like it also @rueschronic you saved me i love you bitch

「 ✦ Kung Lao ✦ 」

* SHIT TALKING DUO

* you and Kung Lao are competitive and like to show off both of you can walk into any place and all eyes are on yall

* Both of you lift each other up as much as you can because you and Kung lao both know what it feels like to put on a character/facade or joke around people even when your hurting on the inside or try to hide it to appear fine

* When you called him queen he wore that like a badge of honour

* He picks up your vocabulary extremely fast and manages to confuse everyone around him

「 ✦ Johnny cage ✦ 」

* THE duo not a duo it’s THE duo

* I feel like Johnny has wanted to try out more ,,feminine” things but due to holywood and it being looked down upon he hasn’t yet until you gave him reality check and remined him that no one cares (bitch)

* Like Kung lao you and Johnny have that one thing in common: a character. Both of you act a certain way and have built a character to show off to people. People know ,,Johnny Cage” but do they know John Carlton. As more time passes you and Johnny start working on tearing those walls down and showing your true honest selves of course without loosing those confident attitudes

* Clubbing, going out, after party’s all the time most weekends will be endend with you and Johnny at his house not knowing how you got back home but not really needing to know because you’ll be too busy cuddling one another

* Has definitely asked you to be stunt performer because he knows that you can strut your shit like a its a performance

「 ✦ Kitana ✦ 」

* You captured Kitanas attention right away

* Kitana enjoys her status and work as a princess of Outworld but it does become dull at points. The people being careful around her, underestimating her and treating her almost like a porcelain doll

* Not you tho you treat Kitana like a normal person, tell her things honestly and aren’t afraid of what she can do

* Kitana is very observant she sees that you hide behind jokes and when she finally confront you about you let eveything out. All the toughts of self doubt, anxiety are washed away with promises from her to protect you and keep you safe for as long as she is alive

* A lot of time with Kitana and you is spent sparring or you telling her about Earthrealm, languages and culture (Kitana is prob a history nerd sue me)

「 ✦ Syzoth ✦ 」

* He was enamoured by you at first sight

* Because of his zetteran liniage Syzoth understands your struggles. Wanting to be yourself but the world rejecting it deeming it ,,too much” or even distasteful. He assures you to the best of his abilities that he’ll never leave you and will stay by your side no matter what

* ,,mother? But im a man” ,,slay ? Slay what ?” Her a little confused when it come to slang but slowly starts to understand it

* If you do drag or are interested in drag TELL IT ALL TO THIS MAN. Syzoth absolutely loves learning about earthrealm its cultures and norms and how people express themselves

* You insulted him once in a joking way and he didn’t understand that you were joking and it ended up in a hugs and kisses session for like 30 min and a long as hell explanation

「 ✦ Smoke ✦ 」

* The walking definition of polar opposites

* Smoke is quiet ,reserved and introverted meanwhile your loud, not afraid to make a scene and get dirty and extroverted

* ,,Excuse me he asked for no pickles” you say as Smoke stands in the background like a wet puppy

* Smoke is the only person who knows about your anxiety’s he does his best to assure that you are loved for who you are

* If you do nails he’s constantly asking you to do his. Smoke just really enjoys having pretty nails that match with his beautiful partner

*. ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

[renren-006]

Y'all did know? - Daryl x fem reader

Anon: i absolutely fucking love your fics, i read so many fanfics i don’t always remember authors but i for sure remember and recognize you and your work partially bc i reread it often❤️ after reading your last daryl fic at 4 am bc i couldn’t sleep i had an idea for a fic for him. what if it was slightly the opposite thing, like daryl and reader got together early on, maybe the knew each other before hand like reader was a bartender at merle’s favorite bar bc we all know daryl takes time to warm up to be ppl, and the cdc happens, while drinking they make their confession and get together officially, but readers like daryl with the fact they’re kinda shy and take a while to warm up to ppl so they don’t do pda and stuff publicly, not really intending to hide it but also not wanting the attention, and maybe they assume their ppl from their group know (this is where the set up for that last fic got me bc i can see this being a long timeline)......

original ask: Ask

a/n: hey anon!! i decided to copy some of what you wrote here but it was a massive request and I absolutely enjoyed reading it and writing it!!! thank you for the kind words!! you guys are why i love writing and helping make your stories become reality! hope you all enjoy reading it! word count: 3107

taglist: @rosecentury

Before World Ended:

You met the Dixon brothers a few years before the world ended. You were a bartender at a small driver's roadside bar off Atlanta I-85. You started working there after you graduated from college, hoping to make some money to put away to get out of Atlanta. 

Merle was always a loud drunk and a loud customer throughout the day. Daryl, however, was a kinder soul, apologizing for his brother before seating himself directly in the center of the bar area. The two of you chatted through your shift, mostly about who comes in, how his day was, and what the weather for the week would be like. It was small talk, but with the other rednecks checking you out, you felt comforted by him. Daryl never made any plans to put any moves on you in the three years he knew you, but when the world ended, and you almost got killed, he knew he had to.

"I like ya," he said aloud. You looked over at him. He was gazing up at the sky, a beer between his knees. You just sat there watching the man. 

“What the hell does that mean?” you asked, slightly annoyed. You not only had almost died by an undead customer, but also it was an undead customer. The idea that people could die and come back to life as something unlike themselves was utterly unbelievable. You watched blow you as that undead walked around without noticing you and Daryl on the bar's roof. Merle was blocking the rest of the bar to keep everyone out. All three of you knew you would have to leave soon, but it didn't matter; the summer breeze was still blowing, and the beer was still cold for now. 

“It means…ya almost died and the shit of the world, so… I like ya.”

“You are a master with your words,” you told him sarcastically. You've known Daryl for years now; the two of you spoke the same language with people. You were always shy, and Daryl just took a while to open up to people. You both were a lot alike, and that's what kept you together and attracted you to one another. “I like you too.”

GEORGIA:

The two of you never addressed your relationship with each other, not that anyone really needed to know. Nor did the two of you showcase it. Since both of you were shy and had a bit of a more rigid exterior about letting people in, you just figured when you were alone with each other was the time to be closer, but out in the world hand, holding, loving looks, and conversation were the way to go about it. 

Merle knew, of course; he figured it out quickly. He was the only one learning about the two of you and not caring. Daryl acted the same as he had, except he didn't dare flirt with you. Daryl had given him one look on the road when you walked ahead, and he was staring at your ass that he never tried again. Merle may be mean to Daryl, but he never would cross-touch what were his brothers. Everyone thought it was a word.

“He doesn't flirt with you, does he?” Andrea asked you a few months into living together. You shook her your head. “Weird, he never stopped with me.”

“Maybe you're just his type, Andrea.”

“And you're not? Anything with tits and an ass and Merles all over it,” she said to you, not noticing the slight touch of hands with Daryl as he walked by and the smile you gave. She kept running on about Merle's annoyance, not noticing anything else around her. 

FARM:

“You crazy bitch” you yelled towards Andrea. She had run over far behind your form and Ricks. The two of you dashed towards the fallen man without a second thought in your mind. You ran towards your man, who was lying in the grass, groaning in pain. Daryl was barely speaking in Rick's arms as they carried him off. 

“Don't worry, your man will be fine,” Shane said, keeping you from absolutely bashing Andreas' face in. She took one look at your anger and held her hands up, walking backward towards Dale. “Don't bite her head off for this.”

“Whatever,” you said, shoving him off and walking up towards the house, where Daryl was now being brought inside. You didn't even consider Shanes's words that day, “your man.” it never crossed your mind that he was teasing you. Shane was a dick; everyone knew it more recently. You could see Shane's vacant eyes glancing at everyone in a way that made your skin crawl. You thought the only reason he was acting like that towards you was this asshole was flirting. He knew you were taken, right? You were mistaken. 

ROAD AGAIN:

You handed over a can of soda to Daryl. You had only found two in the house you searched.  Surprisingly, the can was left in a cabinet, meaning you could drink it if you wanted to. Daryl and Rick approached you once they entered the house. They both came to help you in the bigger house. You placed the soda in Daryl's hand.

“It's not beer, but I know you'll enjoy it anyway,” you said to him before heading up the stairs. 

“She's sweet on you,” Rick said with a smile, teasing the man beside him about you as you skipped the last few steps. 

“I know,” Daryl said as he went to look for other things inside the house. Rick looked back and forth between the stars and where Daryl had gone off, too. He laughed slightly.

“Those idiots,” Rick said, thinking they both had no clue about the other's feelings when everyone else was oblivious to their known feelings. 

PRISON:

You stood on the watchtower, scouting the land ahead. Daryl and a few others had gone on another trip to look for supplies. You had your rifle on the railing as you watched, and then you set up their gear and trucks. Maggie slid in next to you. She watched you watch Daryl move around in the ground, setting up his motorcycle. He looked good down there; the way his body moved, his mussels, and even the way his hair was falling was driving you wild. Maggie caught a glimpse of you checking him out.

“You're so obvious,” she told you. You laughed slightly.

“Sorry,” you apologized; you knew you were obsessed with watching him, but how could you not? You’ve known Daryl for so many years now it was impossible not to watch or admire the man before you. You loved him, and he knew that. Daryl was also quite aware of your joys of watching him, sometimes he would put on more of a show of stretching or giving you those lustful eyes you knew would mean the two of you wouldn't get any sleep that night. It was his favorite thing to do to get you worked up throughout the day. 

PRISON:

Daryl knew he was forgetting something before he even shut the truck's door. He heard her voice before she even reached the hill in the Prison. 

“Wait.” Daryl glanced out the window of the truck, putting his arm out and waving. He knew she was smiling from that before her face popped up in his vision. “You forgot your water bottle!” Smiling up at him was you, his girl—Rick snickers from the seat beside Daryl. 

“Thanks,” He said, grabbing the water bottle from your hand, “saving my ass.”

“Always am,” you responded, giving him a wink. Have a safe trip out.” As you said it, you turned with a wave and walked back up the hill. Swaying our hips bit as you did, you gave Daryl a show that you knew would make him come back to you tonight with a mission. 

Daryl and Rick headed off on their scout to a new town they had spotted on the map, a few miles away from the other town they had picked clean. As the two looked around the houses, Daryl went through many jewelry cases for anything that might seem like something you would wear. Rick came in on him, picking through when he had found the perfect thing.

“She would love this,” Daryl said. Rick came up next to him, observing the (silver/gold) necklace with a bird on the end of the chain swinging in the air. 

“Do you think about anything but her?” Rick asked, laughing as he exited the room to look in the one next to it. Daryl chuckled and shook his head. No, you were always on his mind. 

Little did he know, Rick assumed Daryl had a massive crush on you, not that he had any suspicions you two were already together.

When they returned and Daryl was back sitting next to you on that mattress on the floor, he pulled out the necklace. 

“I found it,” he told you, handing it over to you so you could see it. “I know how much ya miss these types of things.”

“Haha, did you know I missed jewelry?” You asked him, shocked he somehow knew how much you missed having something to wear around your neck. He nodded his head.

“I knew, ya mentioned it a while ago. Been looking for something for ya”

“Daryl,” you said with admiration. He put it around your neck; the man who you had met in a bar all those years ago was now putting a necklace on your neck in a run-down prison at the end of the world. 

AFTER PRISON FALL:

“Daryl?” You said, besides Carol, who had just completed her job of destroying a massive facility of cannibal people. You had been with her, the girls, and Tyreese since the fall and had been so scared that Daryl didn't make it out of the prison. You had run out of the hut and left Tyrese once you heard the explosion. You had found Carol and walked over to the others and saw him. 

Daryl didn't hesitate to run straight for you. You hugged me so tight you felt the air in your lungs stop for a moment, but you didn't care.

“I miss ta. I thought ya died,” Daryl said as he clung to your body. He had gone through hell to fight and find you, and here you were, not a scratch on you and in his arms again. That necklace still hung around your neck, a form of commitment to the both of you about who you were with.

“I'm alive. I'm alive,” you said as you held the man in your arms. The others stood and watched your reunion, no one thinking anything- “Wow, they must care for each other a lot.”

Once he broke off the hug, it was like looking into the eyes of the world again. You could see color, purpose, and meaning. He was everything to you.

 

AFTER TERMINUS:

After the terminus, Daryl stuck to your side. The two of you walked together, ate together, slept near each other, and went on runs together. When Carol and Daryl went to Atlanta, so did you. 

“How long have you two been together?” she asked as you walked through another building in Atlanta. Daryl casually answered as he passed an office door with a walker trying to get out.

“Since Atlanta fell,” he answered. Carol stopped, turning back to the two of you.

“You've been together for more than three years?” She asked the two of you. “How did no one pick up on it?”

“Wait, what?” you asked, shocked, “How does no one know Daryl and me are together?”

“You two have never been very…affectionate,” she told the two of you. Darly glanced your way. The two of you laughed a little at that.

“Yea, that makes sense,” Daryl said. This was the moment the two of you started looking towards the others for any answers if they knew you were together. For the last few months on the road, getting to Alexandria yielded you the response that no one knew a thing. It caused a bit of agitation for the two of you about how maybe your attitudes about being affectionate were causing more harm than good. 

ALEXANDRIA:

Once you all had gotten settled in and jobs were assigned, you all started to try and live a normal life again.Since moving into the two houses, you shared a space with Miccone, Rick, Carol, Daryl, and the kids. You and Darly took a room downstairs along with Carol down the hall, and the rest were split in the rooms upstairs. No one questioned you staying with Daryl or even looked at the fact that there was only one king bed in that room with the two of you. 

While Darly was assigned to go on runs to look for people, you were assigned daycare and teacher duty at the house designated for the school. It kept you busy while Darly was away, and on the days you had off or no one showed, you hung around with Crol or took watch. Many days, you walked around the complex, taking in the signs and the ability to walk in peace. That was until one day.

“Hey, you're one of the women from the new group, right?” a man asked as you walked back to your shared house. You could see Daryl on the porch talking with Carol, but he had not seen you yet. 

“Uh yeah,” you said, continuing to walk back; the man pulled your arm to face him.

“You know it's rude to keep walking when someone is talking to you. Or did you forget that after living in the wild for so long?”

“I didn't forget anything; I just don't want to talk to you,” you told the man, shaking your arm out of his grasp and walking faster towards the house. Finally, you made eye contact with Daryl. The way his face looked, you knew it was because he had heard. The man didn't stop trying. 

“Hey, don't walk away from me,” he said, running back up to you, grabbing your arm so hard and pulling and making you stumble back. “What if I'm not good enough for you? Can’t a man ask a girl for some action or what?” he said, pulling you closer to him. 

“Stop it,” you yelled back, but you didn't have to fight hard. Daryl was a flash before being by your side, and the man's face was flush against his fist.

“Touch me woman again, and that's the least I'll do to ya,” he said. The man froze as he looked up at you from the ground. That was the day you realized the longer people didn't know either of you was together, the more people would try and come up to you, assuming you were not. 

Daryl went to bed that night, angry. You knew it wasn't towards you, but the coldness in the room made you feel like the world was ending if you and him couldn't be more open. 

ALEXANDRIA:

‘What if you two just got married?” Carol asked as she was cooking in the kitchen. You paused your reading from the chair in the living room to look into the kitchen at Carol. 

“What?’ You asked, shocked by her expression. She turned away from what she was cooking on the stove to talk to you. 

“Well, since the people in Alexandria won't take the hint you've taken, and Daryl's upset, and also the issue of our own family not knowing…maybe you should just go out, find some rings, and get married.”

“I…hadn't thought of that,” you told her. “You think Daryl would be okay with that?”

“I think Daryl is more on board with that idea than you think, y/n,” Carol told you. She knew about the distance that had been caused by the repetitive men hitting on you. The guy whose nose was broken never once tried to come up to you and denied anything happening with you when others asked. No one knew what Darly had said that day apart from those there. The decision was made, at least on your part. You stomped your way over to Aaron's house. When he answered the door, you stomped in. 

“Need Daryl,” was all you said before heading to the back of his house to the garage. There, Daryl's bike sat as he tinkered with it. You slammed the door open, causing Daryl's head to look towards the door. A shutter went through the house.

“The hell, woman..” Darly almost got out. 

“Marry me,” you said when he was almost done speaking. Daryl's mouth closed, looking at you. “Do you need me to repeat myself? Daryl Dixion, marry me.”

“Ya no, I heard ya y/n,” he said, standing up, “why?’

“Why? Because I love you, and no one can even tell I do or that we have been together for more than four years,” you told him, frustrated by the string of events of the past year. 

“You want to marry me?” Daryl asked, taking your face in his grease-covered hands.

“Yes,” you told him, smiling.

EVERYONE'S REACTIONS:

Rick was holding a dinner for the family that night. Carol completed a large spread, and everyone showed up. You and Daryl were late. When you showed up, the two of you were holding hands. Michone was the first to welcome the new development.

“You guys waited long enough,” she joked, causing other heads to turn. Daryl looked down at his feet, and you just let out a sigh.

“We didn't, though,” you told them. Everyone looked twords you two in confusion. 

“Didn't what?” Michone asked, clearly confused by what was happening. 

“We've been together for four years,” Darly said, “And we just got married to prove it.” He lifted his hand to show the gold band on his finger, and yours lifted as well, showing the (silver/gold) band with a few small diamonds on it. The two of you had found a jewelry store and had fun picking out your ring, while Darly wanted something simple. 

“Holy shit,” Abraham said. 

“Wait, what? '' Carl shouted, clearly confused about how his uncle had been together with you for so long, and he didn't know.

“Congratulations,” Carol answered. Everyone else was shocked. “Oh, I've known about them for a while.”

“Tonight's dinner story is how the two of you got together,” Rick said as he motioned for the others to sit, “And no one is leaving out any details.”

[saturnbellfromhell]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS III

Hi everybody, I want to apologize that I haven't been so active lately. The "Energy Series" will drop this week, so stay tuned! Today is just a simple astro observations, since everybody loves them so much! Hope all is good, take care and let's get into the observations!

🟫SCORPIO DOMINANT WOMEN

I find them more intimidating then the men, not going to lie. I've also seen this with girls/women who are Mars dominant aswell. They are so sure of themselves and you never know their next move. They are beautifully scary, always have the upper hand and can see sex as a healing tool.

🟫SAGITTARIUS SUN

They are the masters at sarcasm and irony, they can seem a bit mean to some because they are always ready to tease others. The cliche thing about them that I can confirm is that they do love to travel and get away. They are really witty and humorous.

🟫GEMINI VENUS

Sorry if this is going to rub some people the wrong way, but I really don't like this placement. These individuals are too shallow in love for me. One day they'll be upset about a hookup and after a week they'll be sleeping with their ex and texting 10 other people. They are really good in the bedroom though and you need to be an intellectual individual to impress them. I've also noticed they get into a relationship quickly and they move quickly if they like you. Of course it helps if their is more water in the chart to balance it out. The only people I've met who married twice were Gemini Venuses.

🟫LEO LILITH

They are really easy to offend if you comment on their looks, it's kinda funny in a way because they look really good? They can be the ones that work out because they "have to", not because they like it as much. They really crave and live off attention, but deny it to the grave. This attention seeking can come from saying outlandish shit, aggressive behavior or just acting like a fool. They have a huge ego that can crumble really easily.

🟫MOON IN THE 8TH HOUSE

Thes people can be either a really healing and quite person, who learned the hard parts in life at a young age and want to help others overcome their fears and insecurities or can be the most triggering people ever. If they don't balance out their energy and work on themselves their dark aura literally eats them up. They can become addicted to drugs, alcohol and sex if a major shift happens in their life. They are the one's to use everything to try and escape reality and try to forget, but will dig a deeper ditch for themselves. They truly need good people around them to influence them for the better.

🟫MARS IN THE 7TH HOUSE

This one is a tricky one. The 7th house is the  house of partnerships, where Libra rules. By ruling this house, the scale and judge archetype try to balance out energies. Libra also can be called "codependent" since it needs two sides to function, putting Mars here makes them a very dominant person in relationship and wants an active partner to do things with. They also find it hard to stay in relationships and crave independence. It can also bring marriage in a later time in life! I've also noticed that this placement can also breed stalkerish personas, even more if Saturn is in this house or the ruler of your ascendant.

🟫MOON IN THE 12TH HOUSE

I absolutely love taking about this placement, not going to lie. Moon in the 12th house native have a very intense relationship with their mom, they are really close with them. It's also a possibility that their mother also has a Moon in the 12th house also. This placement breeds a different type of person who is very cautious around others, is semi psychic and the only people that get them are others who have this placement. Feelings that these people get are very intense and they can sense when someone is acting out of order.

🟫FIRE VENUSES

What I've found that the all have is this big heart and drive to love. I've never met  a fire Venus who is "scared" of falling in love, showing their romantic side and being sweet to their partner tbh. They will go to great lengths to let you know how they feel. The problem arises if they get bored, kinda like air Venuses. They don't want that "stable" relationship. It has to be full of life and energy, passion and pure emotion. They're not big on being heartbroken, because they know their worth and just move on with grace.

🟫CAPRICORN DOMINANT

Yes they can be looked at being "cold" and emotionless, but they just really value their time. I mean, this sign is ruled by Saturn, the planet of residence, restriction and TIME. They don't play around. Capricorn dominant people won't say it, but love being pampered by their significant other. They are such princesses in that manner. Even though they are big pleasers, they love to get it back.

🟫EROS IN CANCER

I mean they love a motherly figure in love, someone who takes care of them, asks if they ate and such. Also they don't like to go out, just like any cancer. But what I've noticed they really enjoy people who have an Eros in an air sign. Ya, they maybe won't date them but are really fascinated and intrigued with them.

🟫LILITH IN 9TH HOUSE

They can become really involved in getting their point across, being it in a philosophical, religious or just plain subjective way. This placement is known to have parents who are strict with their opinions or maybe grew up in a city with really closed off/radical people who's views can be considered "wrong". They were always left out for voicing their own opinion, which was different. This placement can be a placement which cult leaders have, since they have such strong opinions.  This paried with a Virgo North Node, Plutonian and/or Aqurian energy is scary as hell.

🟫PISCES MOON

Yes, I do love them but it's so difficult to u understand what they're feeling, because even they don't know. My very close friend is a Pisces Moon and he never talks deep about how he feels unless he's a little drunk.

🟫LILITH IN SCORPIO

I wrote back on a comment to which men are really attracted to a Lilith Scopios, so I'll write it here. Men with heavy water placements, Lilith in the 1st/8th house and Pluto dominant men. I've heard many say having sex with them is an  unforgettable experience. Lilith in Scorpio women love a Cancer sun/moon, that's a fact!

🟫SATURN IN THE 8TH HOUSE

Yep this can indicate a longer life than usual, but also having such a gloomy planet in a gloomier house has it's downs. They really need to work on letting things go. They can be very rigid and stressed most days.

🟫VIRGO RISING

Many Virgo risings I've met have naturally blonde or light hair, especially men.

xoxo N.K

[dabisqueen]

College Touya x fem!Reader

⇢ word count: roughly 11K

⇢ plot: getting into one of the most prestigious universities comes with a (literally) huge surprise

⇢ warnings: 18+, minors DNI, childhood friends to enemies to lovers, lots of dialogue, bantering and bickering, use of alcohol, Keigo is being a spoiled rich brat so he's not getting any ass but Tenko is finally getting his d*** wet and Touya as well, a bit of yelling, some kabedon action, steamy kissing, dry-humping, unprotected consensual sex, multiple orgasms, creampie

⇢ personal note: this was just another AU I was dreaming about. First time writing this kind of trope. Thanks to @/dreamy-collective for being my beta!

***

Moving away from home and starting your first year at a university was a challenging act on its own. So it was given that you were busy trying to adapt to the new college life, learning the campus layout, and establishing a daily routine. In other words– beginning to experience life as a university student.

But not only that. The university you had managed to get into was one of the most prestigious ones in the country and with the priciness of its tuition, you were glad to have landed several scholarships that needed extra effort.

Therefore, starting classes not only meant trying to cope with the pretty busy schedule change but also putting in your highest effort to keep your grades among the best. So you barely spent time socializing with people in the tight-knit community of the college campus. And a week into the semester, you still hadn't made any real friends yet, except for your roommate. 

Still, even though you didn't belong to the social circles on campus and you never cared for gossiping, certain rumors spread so far that even you heard them. About these three guys, all seniors belonging to the privileged elite of the university, stirring quite the fuss– especially the raven-haired and the blond one. 

It was the second week and your roommate and you were approaching the main entrance to your college building, ready to go to classes. But you stopped dead in your tracks, an all too familiar sight ahead of you. For a moment you questioned reality, having not seen him in almost a decade. 

"What's he doing here?" You asked, stunned. 

Of all places in the country you had to meet him here. Life has its shitty ways of fucking with you.

"Who?" Your roommate asked, her gaze following yours to some guys standing across the yard by the wall, smoking.

Staring straight ahead, you would've recognized him anywhere– hands lazily stuffed in the pockets of his dark ripped jeans, the usual bored expression on his face. That all too familiar mop of raven hair with bangs falling over his brows, those broad shoulders—

—and those incredibly piercing blue eyes that just now flicked up to look at you.

Shit, you tried to calm yourself, No need to panic. He won't recognize you after all these years.

But that hope was thrown out the door as quickly as it arose when he aimed a wickedly seductive grin right at you, his strikingly blue eyes continuing to observe you.

Damn, he knows.

"Ok, we gotta go. Now!" You swung around and swiveled around your roommate who struggled to catch up with you. "We're gonna take the back entrance."

"Hey, what was that just now?" She breathlessly asked.

"Nothing." You grumbled, reluctant to get as much distance between you and those mesmerizing blue eyes.

"Oh, don't you dare nothing me!" She took a few wider steps to catch up with you. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"You might be right about that," you muttered under your breath. "Let's go, we'll be late for classes."

***

A sound stirred you from your work assignment late at night. "You're not telling me something."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Looking up, you saw your roommate standing at the door of your bedroom.

She cocked an eyebrow, kicked off the door frame, and walked towards you.

"The raven-haired guy. This morning." She continued, "I saw him looking at you– and then you freaked out."

Oh no.

"It's Touya Todoroki." She stopped in front of you, placing her hands on her canted hips, "The hottest guy on campus, according to what I've heard."

"Don't know what you're talking about." You mumbled, the tips of your ears turning scarlet as you kept yourself busy counting the dust specs on the screen of your notebook.

"C'mon! I know you're hiding something," she sat down next to you, batting her pretty, long lashes at you. "You've got to tell me."

Inhaling deeply, you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to calm your tired and overworked nerves.

"Alright." You sighed. "But this stays between us ok?"

"Pinkie swear!" She beamed at you, offering her smallest finger and you locked it with yours.

"Touya and his buddies Tenko, and Keigo—we used to be childhood friends. We grew up together living in the same neighborhood." You pulled your hand back and tugged a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. "We also went to the same elementary school."

"Aw, that's so cool!" She giggled, urging you to continue. 

"Yeah, really sweet–" you huffed and looked straight at her. "Did you know he calls me Cheeks?"

"No—but that's adorable!" She smiled.

"You know what it stands for?" Cocking a brow you waited.

She shook her head.

"Buttcheeks." You inhaled deeply before continuing. "In second grade, he pulled my pants down in front of everyone - even the teachers. I was the laughingstock of the entire school for weeks."

"Oh sorry," Your roommate was visibly afflicted. "That's not so adorable."

You continued, picking up a few pieces of lint off your pants. "A year later, my parents and I had to move away to another state. That's when I saw him last."

"Mhhh, maybe he was a jerk back then," she pointed out, "But did you ever think about him having changed?"

"Nope. People like him don't change." You added bitterly. "I need to focus on my studies now, ok?"

"Yeah, sure." She sighed.

And with that, you ended the conversation, your roommate straightening up to return to her room and leaving you to finish your essay.

***

As you were leaving your classroom, you stopped dead in your tracks seeing Touya with Keigo and Tenko, leaning his back against the building wall, observing you, hands buried deep in the pocket of his pants. 

Touya just rocked the hottest-guy-on-campus look. Even though his frame was lean, he was well-toned, his body reeking of masculinity. He was wearing a plain black long-sleeve shirt, tight black pants, biker boots, and rings on his hand as well as piercings in his ear. 

But it wasn't just his physique. His presence alone took up space and dominated like nothing else and you had to take a few moments to catch your breath. A few moments that were over too quickly when he started to strut over into your direction, his eyes strikingly light blue.

You instantly turned to make an escape, but at that same moment a door to a lecture room opened and a crowd of students poured out, crushing your plans to get away.

"Well well well, if it ain't Cheeks," an arm slung around your neck. "Of all places, I've never expected to run into you here."

The subtle scent of expensive cologne surrounded you and his own scent, warm and masculine at the same time. He smelled amazing, and it left a feeling in you that you couldn’t place your finger on.

Shit.

"Fuck off, Touya…" you mumbled, a bit of color rising to your face.

"Why so rude?" He chuckled and leaned in closer. 

A group of students had stopped to watch the two of you talk, chattering behind raised hands.

"What are you doing here?" You tried to get away from him but his embrace was too tight. 

"Could ask you the same." He hummed back with a curious grin on his face.

"I'm enrolled in classes, duh." You remarked, trying to keep your tone flat.

"Heh, I'm a Senior." His free hand came to pinch your cheek.

"Did your dad bribe the University Board to get you in?" You looked sideways at him, shamefully breathless at his close proximity. 

His eyes seemed so captivating—more than they used to when he was a kid.

"Naah— got in here myself." He grinned, icy blue eyes flashing. "Excellent grades."

"Doubt it." You hissed at him.

"You're hurting my feelings, Cheeks." He gave you a light chuckle that you felt way too much in your chest.

Rolling your eyes at him, you finally managed to shrug his arm off as he loosened his hold on you—when you heard another voice closing in. "Hey, Touya, who's that Hottie here?"

It was Keigo, narrower and shorter in build than Touya, with windstrewn ash blond hair swept messily backward. He was blatantly showing off his wealth, wearing luxury label clothes, and sporting a huge Breitling aviator watch on his wrist. 

"Don't you recognize her?" Touya glanced at him over his shoulder.

The blonde looked at you with a slight arch in his eyebrow. Then his golden eyes lit up in surprise. "Shit, it's Cheeks!"

"Damn, it is," Tenko muttered, who just joined the three of you. With the long tangled hair and the simple, black hoodie pulled over his head, he seemed more innocent than the other two, which was a welcoming change. The only thing giving him away was the rather geeky expensive Devon Star Wars watch at his wrist.

His cheeks reddened behind his pale bangs when your eyes met and he muttered a shy, "H-Hi Cheeks…" before averting his gaze, awkwardly scratching his nape with his fingers.

Keigo however, stepped even closer, his golden brown eyes mustering you as he leaned in, flirtatiously. "So—you got a boyfriend?"

"Nice move, but– no." You groaned. "Not interested in one as well."

Just as Keigo was about to say something Tenko interrupted, looking at his watch. "Guys, we need to go now if we wanna get to class in time." 

"Yeah, we're coming." Touya looked at you with an amused glint in his azure eyes before turning to leave.

"See ya, Cheeks." He waved goodbye as they strolled off.

You couldn't help but follow him with your eyes, when suddenly Touya stopped to toss you a look over his shoulder, grinning when he caught you staring, before continuing on his path.

Shit, you felt your cheeks burn. Shit, shit, shit.

Your roommate, who had stood off to the side unbeknownst to you now stepped close, letting out a deep sigh, "Sorry, didn't want to interrupt. But damn, are you lucky."

You bit your lips as you continued to watch him. "Jerk. I hate him."

"Oh, are you sure? You blushed there quite a bit, I'd say." She sheepishly added.

"Thin ice, girl." You pursed your lips at her, "Very thin ice."

She only giggled in response.

"I would give everything to be fucked by that guy." She gazed at where he was walking off with Keigo and Tenko. "C'mon, just look at him!"

You leveled her with a flat look and folded your arms under your chest. She sighed. 

"Girl, he's rich!" She wiggled her hand in his direction, "His dad is fucking loaded!"

"I don't care about all that, you know me" you commented nonchalantly.

"But—I heard he's even going to graduate summa cum laude."  Her eyes became dreamy, "If you land with him, you hit the jackpot."

"Oh, s'that so?" You picked up your bag. "You can have him. I'm not interested"

"You should be. I heard he also fucks like a God."

"Good thing I'm an atheist then." You winked at her and turned to walk away, trying to ignore the wet stickiness in your panties that wasn't there before.

***

The following weeks were absolute torment. Even though Touya was a senior and the paths you crossed were rare, he was constantly around, repeatedly seeking you out in the crowd, his little naughty grins always catching you off guard and making your face heat up. He was smooth, you had to admit, and surprisingly persistent– despite your constant rebuffs.

So it wasn’t long until your name unwantedly became the talk on campus. People were staring at you, muttering behind your back, wondering who that normal girl was that managed to get Touya Todoroki's attention. You weren't used to the looks that everyone was giving you, and felt utterly uncomfortable.

Whenever possible, you avoided large groups of people while on campus. Still, it was unavoidable that some girls' stares always followed you, their whispers behind raised hands a constant backdrop in your head.

It was frustrating, in more ways than one. Because even though you tried to deny it, you started catching yourself having constant thoughts about Touya. And they weren't exactly innocent ones. Whenever you saw him from afar, your chest tightened and your heart thundered a thousand miles a minute. You couldn't shrug off this feeling of wanting to be close to him, to hear his sultry voice, and to run your hands through his raven hair. 

Albeit your own feelings – or rather to deny them – you dedicated yourself to your studies for the next few weeks. So it was no surprise that when midterms came around, your relentless studying paid off, walking out of classes with the highest grades of all.

***

It was late spring and a sudden heat wave had hit your area, making everything unbearably sticky and gross. You opted for a midday walk as some sort of a stress reliever when you heard steps approaching and a familiar voice saying "Hi Cheeks–"

Touya came to a stop right in front of you, dressed in a short sleeve shirt. Intricate black and blue flame tattoos decorated both his arms, complementing his natural looks perfectly. 

After reaching inside the pocket of his jeans, he took a cigarette out of the box he had retrieved, and placed it between his lips. He lit it up, a cloud of smoke billowing up in the air as he exhaled deeply. His smoldering turquoise eyes dragged up your body and stopped at your lips.

"Wanna go eat something, Cheeks?" His gaze continued to linger on your lips.

"Sorry, I think I just lost my appetite." You deadpanned.

"Cmon–" He tilted up his chin, looking at you, smirking.

"Touya, I'm not interested."

"But I'm hungry…" And his eyes flicked back to your lips. 

"Go eat alone then." You mumbled.

Looking up at him, you noticed his rapturous looks, something wicked and flirtatious flickering behind the azure hue of his eyes. Your stomach somersaulted and you knew it was lust in his heavy-lidded eyes when your gazes locked.

"I'm not hungry for food, Cheeks—" his voice was husky, successfully making your spine tingle. 

"Oh for God's sake," you tried to swat his chest but he dodged gracefully, a playful smile on his face, taking another drag of the cigarette he was holding between his fingers.

You couldn't help but stare at his sinfully seductive lips, the way they urged to be kissed—

Okay, let’s not go there, you mentally slapped yourself.

But you were caught already as he observed the way your cheek reddened and cocked his head, eyebrows raised. “Bet you're thinking about me right now, Cheeks.”

"Excuse me?" You lied, the spreading blush reaching your ears, “F-Fuck off Touya!"

You felt like you were seconds away from exploding, with your heart rate blasting through the roof. 

"I think I'm making you nervous." He grinned, 

"God, you're so full of yourself–" you started.

Luckily a high smooth voice interrupted your little bantering. 

"Hey Toto, been looking everywhere for you!" a stunning girl approached.

Touya didn’t even pay a glance as she got close to him, manicured fingers trailing up his arm.

"Missed you, baby" she pouted her plush lips at him, "Why haven't you answered any of my calls?"

Touya sneered, his usual bored expression back on his face, "Should be self-explanatory."

He placed his cigarette between his lips again, sucking in his cheeks, his hooded gaze not leaving yours. 

The girl was stunned by his rude reply but then seemed to brush it off. Moving her face close to his, she purred, “What’s with the attitude, baby?"

"Told you, I have other plans..." Ignoring her completely, his eyes continued to be trained on you as smoke billowed around his face.

Even though he was clearly not interested in that girl, it still left a pinch of bitterness in your heart. You felt disappointed. You'd heard that he had gotten around quite a bit– but seeing the girl just being so much better looking than you made you feel so inferior, so ugly, so—

—you had to get out of here. Now.

"I think you should satisfy your hunger with her," you pointed out and before he could reply, you shouldered your bag and left down the path to the library.

You heard Touya call after you but then the high-pitched voice of the girl interrupted, followed by rough cussing on his behalf before you could get out of earshot.

Serves him right.

***

This irritating, depressing sting of jealousy had been gnawing away at your heart ever since the scene outside with the girl and left you almost sleepless at night. Let's face it, you weren't exactly a virgin anymore either. But your experience had been rather—bleak, to put it nicely. With some random guy. For a whooping ten seconds. Leaving you beyond unsatisfied.

But Touya– he must have been in bed with so many girls, must have gathered so much experience that the thought alone made the bile of jealousy rise in your stomach. And as it was apparent to you, all the girls he had were all pretty and perfect and you couldn't help but feel inferior to them. And you hated yourself for thinking this way.

But that wasn't the only thing keeping your thoughts occupied– no. You couldn't quite shrug off the idea that – even though he served her off, or maybe just because of that – each girl was just a joke for him. As were you.

You had just finished your last lecture for today and, grabbing your iPad from the counter you winced, a stinging pain shooting through the tip of your finger. You pinched it between your thumb and index finger, seeing a splinter stuck in it. You knew you had to wait till later to get it out with tweezers at home.

You sighed as you exited your classroom ready to head outside—when you felt a soft hoodie sleeve slide along your neck as an arm draped around your shoulder, the subtle scent of expensive cologne and cigarette smoke starting to engulf you.

It was familiar, comforting—

—and yet still so unwelcomed.

"There you are, Cheeks, missed ya." Touya's low, sultry voice close to your ear sent instant shivers up your spine. 

Your step faltered and you spun around only for another arm to coil around your waste. Dragging your gaze from his chest up to his face you instantly shrunk beneath the intensity of his stunning blue eyes. Your mouth opened but nothing came out, too struck by how inexcusably handsome he looked up this close.

"That really hurts, huh?" He said with his husky voice, looking down at your finger.

"Let go of me, Touya" you shivered under his touch and tried to shake off his arm.

His eyes never left yours as his hand wrapped around your hurt one, bringing it close to his face. Breathlessly, you watched as he latched his lips around your fingertip and flicked his tongue over the wound before starting to suck.

You inhaled sharply, as a piercing pain shot through your finger, his eyes heavily lidded with lust and desire when you locked gazes.

Shit.

Suddenly, the pain was gone and he released your finger. He stuck out his tongue, the splinter sitting on its tip. He turned his head to spit it away and let go of you, smoothing his hair back. He watched with an amused grin while your cheeks went slowly ablaze.

"D-Don't do that, Touya," you stuttered.

He leaned close, propping himself against the wall next to you. There was that smirk again— the one that made your heart skip a bear. His hand came up to tug a strand of hair behind your ear and his light warm touch had your stomach flutter.

"Don't do what?" He cooed.

"D-Dont touch me." Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. 

Damn.

You hated it. You hated how he made you feel inside, how he made your body react to him. You felt heat rising inside of you again and your resentment towards him increased.

“I'd say you like my touch,” he smirked a bit wider seeing the rosy blush spread on your face. "It's more than obvious."

“You wish,” you retorted, shifting to the side, further away from him.

"And I need to go now, I need to work on my scholarship project." You mumbled as Touya watched on with his lazily lidded eyes.

As you took a step away from him, you felt him hold you back by your arm.

"Wait!" He called out and you stopped, staring straight ahead.

“Listen, Cheeks. I want to apologize,” he sighed, sounding pensive. “You’re busy and here I’ve been, like, keeping you from your work."

Turning around you took him in. He seemed apologetic. And honest.

"I really like spending time with you." He cocked his head, slowly releasing his hold on you. "Why don’t you tell me what the assignment is about so I can make up for distracting you by helping out?"

This was unexpected. His honest expression caught you off guard, and, hesitating for a moment, you told him about your assignment. Not before throwing him a glare–out of mere spite. 

"Well, come to think of it," he mused, "That's a topic I aced last year. I could help out."

Of course, he did, you mentally slapped yourself.

"Ok, here's my offer," his smile became wider. "I'll book a quiet room at the library and help you out."

"Ok, but we only study." You scrunched your nose cutely at him.

"Aw Cheeks, I'm hurt that you think so lowly of me." He chuckled, "Of course, we will only study—promise."

His cerulean eyes were lit up beautifully, bright, with a glint of his usual mischief in them, but also integrity. It brought back memories of when you were kids, of how he used to look at you back then. Full of contentment and—

"Ok," you declared defeat. "Three o'clock. Library. For studying."

He whipped out his phone, asking for your number and typing it down in his contact list.

"Yup, just for studying." Placing his phone in the back pocket of his jeans, he leaned in and pecked your cheek before you could even register his actions. "See ya at three, Cheeks!"

And then he strutted off, hands lazily stuffed in his pockets. As you watched him leave, you noticed the whispers from your classmates as he passed, some eyes even trained on you. It made the heat in your face even more obvious and you quickly turned to walk away.

***

It was half past two and you were sitting at one of the reading tables aligned along the wall in the basement of the library. Touya had texted you that he had successfully booked a room down there. As you were trying to kill time, you were reading in preparation for the meeting. The supportive stone pillars served as dividers in between the tables, yet not as any kind of soundproofing.

At the table adjacent to yours, two girls had been keeping you from studying, irritating you with their endless gossiping. Finally, it sounded like they were gathering their stuff when—

"Have you heard the latest news about Touya?" The first one whispered.

"Spill the beans, bestie!" The other urged.

Oh no, here we go, you thought, clearly annoyed by the fact that every girl seemed to know something about him.

"A girl I know from a party said she slept with him recently." The first one started.

You rolled your eyes. This was the worst conversation to listen to. You tried to focus back on the book, starting to read the first line when—

"You know, she claimed they did it here — in this library."

Oh for Christ's sake, you slammed your hand on the pages. You were close to standing up and leaving. But the desperate urge to want to hear where this was heading took control.

"No way, that's so hot!" The other girl gushed.

"Yeah, can you believe it? She said he invited her for a study session." You heard her shifting in her seat.

You froze, all blood starting to drain from your face.

"What, really?" The other girl's voice was high with excitement. "That's so treacherous. And naughty—"

"He signed up for a quiet room and then they fucked—" there was the sound of fabric rustling as the first one stood up.

You didn't listen any further as all sounds around you started to disappear. The pen you had clutched between your fingers slipped away from your grip, clattering onto the table.

Your heart pounded in your ears and your throat constricted. With your stomach churning and tears starting to form, the world seemed to spin as you slowly rose on your wobbly feet, snatching your belongings.

As you started walking, it felt like gravity had been turned up as every muscle in your body suddenly felt too heavy to move.

God, why did you fall for this…

***

"Please!" 

"No." You scoffed.

"Pretty please?!" Your roommate tried again.

"Still no."

Considering for a second, she continued, "I'll do the dishes for the entire next month."

Contemplating your answers for a second, you exhaled heavily. "Still no." 

She groaned out loud, but then offered with a mischievous smile on her face. "I know secrets about you that I'm not gonna hesitate to spill."

"You wouldn't dare—" You let out a harsh breath, eyes flicking up to meet hers.

"Try me!" She boasted.

You turned your attention back to your studies.

"Ok, dishes and groceries. For a month."

You let out a deep sigh, closing your book with a loud clap. "Fine."

***

So, this is how you ended up at Keigo's birthday bash - organized and hosted by none other than Touya Todoroki. 

You wanted to leave before you had even arrived. Ever since you walked out of that library a week ago, you had successfully avoided Touya and ignored every one of his calls or messages. And now you were here, able to run into him at any minute.

The party had been the talk of campus for quite a while and everyone had taken desperate measures to get their hands on the limited tickets. Even though Tenko teued to convince you to attend, you kept refusing. That was, until your roommate came into your room, fanning her face with two of those most sought-after invitations, courtesy of Tenko, and bribed you into joining her.

The party took place in an opulent suite at the noblest hotel in town, owned by none other than Enji Todoroki, Touya's dad.

Standing against the wall in a corner of the spacious two-story living room area, you took a glimpse around to take in the scene. There was a huge bar and a professional flair bartender currently doing a performance flipping his mixers and bottles, perfectly emphasizing the sleek contemporary furniture.

The entire room was filled with pro lighting effects tailored to the music of a professional DJ playing off to the side. A huge luxury buffet with an assorted arrangement of foods - all masterfully prepared - was placed against the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. It wasn't only a feast for the eye, but also one to spoil the palette.

Your roommate had already excused herself to approach some of the Seniors standing at the bar, leaving you to yourself sipping on your gin & tonic. Sliding your free hand along your dress, you nervously tugged at its hem, trying to pull it down further. Your roommate made you buy it earlier this afternoon and it felt way too short and way too tight for your liking. 

You sighed and stepped towards the well-endowed buffet table when an arm wrapped around your waist from behind and pulled you around.

"Hey, Cheeks!" A voice whispered close to your ear– but it wasn't Touya's. Blond hair tickled your cheek as Keigo dipped his head against the curve of your neck, his warm soft lips grazing your skin.

"Keigo, let me go."

"But you feel so nice." He slurred, a hand starting to wander lower. "And warm."

"Keigo–" You tried to free yourself from his embrace, "Let. Me. Go!"

"Sorry, not happening," holding you with one arm tightly, he quickly chugged a glass filled with whiskey he was holding before placing it carelessly on a catering table nearby.

You tried to push against him but years of being on the Varsity Team had obviously paid off – he didn't budge an inch.

"Lemme kiss you..." He whispered against your neck, tongue dipping out to taste you.

An uncomfortable feeling spread through you, his breath hot against your skin, heavy with the scent of whiskey. 

"Keigo, keep your hands off me–" You kept struggling against his hold as his hand slid down from your waist to your ass. “I swear to God, I’ll punch you."

Just that second you were pried out of Keigo's grip. You lost your footing and stumbled back against a warm body, a strong arm keeping you from falling. Seeing Tenko casually restraining an obviously drunk Keigo, a suspicion arose as to whose arms you were in. As you tilted your head up, a pair of mesmerizing blue eyes glanced down at you, a mischievous glint in them.

Yep. Touya.

"Please don't punch him." Touya chuckled, making sure you had safe footing before releasing you and sending you an apologetic smile. "He's just a bit drunk."

The blond man swayed in Tenko’s embrace, grinning stupidly at you, "Pfff, I'm not drunk! I'm sexy…"

"Well, you better keep restraining me or else I'll punch his pretty face nonetheless…" You growled in return.

"Ha! She said I'm pretty," the Blonde beamed, obviously delighted about your description of him.

"Tenko, please take Keigo over there," Touya nudged his head towards the other side of the room, "I saw a bunch of sorority girls looking for him."

"Yeah Tenko," Keigo's face turned bright and he slurred, "Let's go get some ass!" 

And with that, he raised his fist and stumbled off through the crowd, with Tenko rushing after him but not before rolling his eyes in annoyance.

Trapping your chin between his thumb and index finger, Touya angled your face upward as he raked his eyes over your features. "You're OK there, Cheeks?"

His scent was intoxicating. It numbed your mind and sent heat straight down between your legs. Embarrassingly enough, you noticed how just this subtle gesture of affection had your panties stick wetly to you in an instant.

"Thanks, Touya," you muttered and tried to push past him, trying to get away from him. 

But he was quick to wrap his arm around you, keeping him close to you.

"Nuh-uh, you're staying with me." He grinned, picking up a nearby fresh glass filled with amber liquid from a table. "You keep disappearing on me…"

"Oh, so what—you need me to punch you as well?" You cocked a brow at him.

"Worth the risk." A smugness settled on his face as he took a sip of the amber-colored drink from his glass.

The liquid glistened on his lips and your eyes flicked unconsciously to them before he licked it away. They were the most alluring feature, soft and slightly parted—and again you couldn't help but fantasize how they would feel pressed against yours.

You were quick to avert your gaze again. But an unwanted desire grew in your chest, and you clenched your thighs in an attempt to stop the heat from spreading.

But Touya's mouth quirked suspiciously at the corner, having seen your wandering gaze. 

You took a deep breath to keep your annoyance at bay. "What are you smiling at?"

"Hmmm let me think…" he tipped his head and added with a cheeky expression "You, staring at my lips?"

"No, I wasn't," you braced your hands against his chest in an attempt to free yourself.

Heat bloomed in your cheeks when you felt him, all the firm muscles under his soft shirt, warm and solid, his strong heartbeat pounding against your palm.

Shit.

It stirred something inside you, making you aware of just how attractive he was, how close you were to him, feeling the heat radiating off his body, his sweet breath fanning your face. The blush kept spreading to your ears especially when you noticed something else that was solid as well. And it was pressing against you. 

Just lower.

Your body felt hot all of a sudden and you tried to blame the little alcohol you had consumed so far. But the thought of how his chest would feel, bare underneath your skin, how it would feel to press your lips against it clawed its traitorous way into your brain.

Luckily the train of thought was cut short.

"I'm pretty sure you were staring at my lips," He fought back a grin as he raised an eyebrow. 

Bastard, you cursed inwardly a few times for having been caught red-handed.

"No, I wasn't," you answered, wincing inwardly from sounding so weak.

A pleased sound rumbled deep in his chest. "I think you're lying, Cheeks."

Why is he so infuriating, insufferable and so–

– goddamn attractive.

"Touya, please–" it came out as a mere whisper while you swallowed nervously.

“Please what?” He tilted his head, looking amused. “You don’t have to be shy, you know.”

He was obviously having a blast with your reaction. He has always been like that. One second he was nice and sweet and the next second his blatant cockiness annoyed the hell out of you. 

“I’m not shy.” You tried to defend yourself. "You're just annoying, that's all."

His eyes slowly dropped down to your mouth and you felt it straight in your belly. It took over your senses and clouded any coherent thoughts.

“And you’re pretty." Touya whispered, leaning in further.

“What do you want from me?” You trembled beneath his gaze, suddenly feeling so vulnerable.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Tilting his head to the side, he angled his mouth above yours. “You."

You could feel his warm breath on your lips, the tip of his nose tickling yours. Maybe he did change. Maybe he really was interested in you. So without thinking any further you let your lids flutter shut, parting your lips when–

"Oi Touya!" A guy shouted at him over the noise of the crowd and the music, "Am I interrupting something?"

Your eyes shot open as both turned your heads towards a young man with short auburn hair approaching, wearing a black shirt and white tie.

"'Course you fucking are, dipshit!" Touya growled at him, obviously not happy about the guy's appearance.

The other took you in before asking, wearing a stupid grin on his face. "What happened to the cute blond girl from before? No wait, she was brunette, wasn't she—?"

"Shut it," Touya hissed, loosening his hold on you as he was ready to approach the other man.

Memories of the conversation between the two girls at the library flooded your mind and it churned another feeling inside you— one of betrayal. And suddenly you felt so dumb for thinking that he'd ever change. He would always be the guy who humiliated you and would do it again without thinking. And with that last thought, you dove under Touya's arm to start digging your way through the crowd toward the exit.

There was a loud cuss as your dark-haired admirer picked up the pursuit. But even though he was larger and stronger, you were quite agile, twisting and diving around and under people.

"Cheeks, stop!" Touya called after you.

But you didn't think of it. You almost reached the door when fingers clamped around your wrist and pulled you back.

"Fucking stop running!" Touya glowered at you, his tone aggravated. 

"Let me go!" You dug your fingers under his to try to free yourself from his grip.

"Hell no," he hissed and turned around to drag you up the stairs with him. "We're gonna have a talk."

"I don't want to though." You continued to struggle.

"I don't care, I'm sick of this!" He didn't even look at you as he arrived at the mezzanine floor.

"Touya please, you're hurting me," you whimpered, his grip on your wrist relentless as he kicked open the first door.

Touya shoved you into the room, booting the door shut behind him and you stumbled, catching yourself on the couch. Turning around you visibly paled. Touya stood in the doorframe, you'd never seen such a serious expression on his face. As he started approaching, you backed up, shrinking away under his intense glare.

"Touya, let me go–" Your voice sounded too shaky to be strong.

"No, you're not leaving until we've talked." He answered while approaching.

"You're scaring me—" You stepped further back until your back hit the wall. 

He was taking another stride until his body was directly in front of you, slamming his hands against the wall next to your head, caging you in.

"Touya—" You sniffled, "What's gotten into you?"

The blue of his eyes was dark, pointed sharply at you. 

"You're asking what's gotten into me?" His voice was dangerously low and rumbling. "Should ask you the same! Every time I wanna talk to you, you run away."

You cringed at his harsh words, his mouth pressed to a thin line, its corners angrily twitching.

"I want an explanation" He lifted his hand to slam it against the wall again, giving his words ample support.

"You pulled down my pants!" You yelled at him.

There. You said it. 

His expression turned puzzled, seriously taken aback.

"You're still mad at me for that?" His tone turned more aggravated.

“You ridiculed me!” You glared back at him, feeling your eyes watering up.

"That was ages ago!" He slammed his palm against the wall again. "I was a fucking dumb kid!"

Your bottom lip was trembling when your eyes locked. Frustration and anger clawed their way up your chest and without thinking you blurted out, "And what about the girl you fucked in the silent room? Were you gonna pull the same stunt on me?"

Your entire body was trembling by now, tears sitting heavy at your lash line.

"What the—no! Who told you that bullshit?" By now, he seriously seemed confused.

"It's no bullshit!" You spat back, "Some girls talked about it while I was waiting for you."

"So, that's why you left…" his eyes darkened, "Listen Cheeks, people say a lot of shit about me. If you would've just asked–"

"And what about that blond–" you cleared your throat, trying to suppress a sob, "No, brunette girl earlier on?" 

"Oh for fucks sake!" Touya's anger was palpable by now. "Kai hates me and always makes up shit like this just to get at me."

"I don't believe you." You turned your face sideways to avoid his gaze.

He stared at you in disbelief for a moment, before—

"You don't believe me?" He almost yelled at you. "I've been honest with you the entire time and you have just been so—aaahhh!"

He slammed his palm against the wall again. You flinched at its impact, a single tear freeing itself from your damp eyelashes, making its way down your cheek. Another one quickly followed. You choked on a gasp and noticed you had held your breath. Slowly, you breathed through trembling lips.

A heavy silence settled between you, the only audible sound being his heavy breathing and your silent sobs.

There was a subtle touch to your cheek as a warm hand gently cupped your face, turning it towards him. 

"Look at me," he said, his voice much softer.

You did, your gaze slowly rising to meet Touya's eyes. All anger was gone from his features, another expression instead passing over his face, one that was almost... tender. And affectionate.

His azure eyes took you in, the way you sniffled softly, another tear rolling down your cheek. His thumb brushed the tiny drop of salt water away as he continued gazing at you.

"Never made a girl cry like this before." His voice was low and made your heart pick up a beat, "Except for in my bed underneath me."

You giggled, sniffling, and leaned into his comforting touch. "You're such a dick…"

"I know," he chuckled and shifted forward, subtly eating up the space between you.

You could feel his warm breath fan over your skin. Then his lips ghosted over your cheek, the tip of his tongue dipping out to lick away the salty warmth of a single tear.

"Please forgive me?" He murmured against your skin, moving lower, following the trail of your tears, licking them up, one by one.

It was hard trying to formulate a response with his warm lips on your skin. You tried to say something, tried to push him away but you had forgotten how to speak – how to move.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he breathed and adjusted his direction, going lower, and lower, his tongue flicking out to lick the corner of your mouth.

You sucked in a little breath of surprise and he took the small advantage to move his mouth over yours, dipping his tongue inside.

You let your eyes flutter shut, your entire brain short-circuiting as it hit like a lightning strike. You forgot yourself, forgot everything else except for the tip of his tongue on yours. 

Your mouths started to sensually and slowly work against one another as were your tongues, leaving you lightheaded and knees buckling as you moved your hands up to steady yourself on his hips.

He smelled and tasted like the best thing you've ever tasted, with warm skin, and a hint of smoke. You kept kissing like that, his hand cupping your face, sliding behind your neck, to cup your nape, to angle your face and pull you deeper into the kiss.

You felt his thigh slip between yours, pinning you in place. The unmistakable press of something stiff against your hips caught your attention, making you gasp into his mouth. Goosebumps cascaded up and down your body and you felt each hair stand on end.

With each roll of your tongues, he humped his clothed erection against your core. A small whimper spilled past your mouth and it earned you a quiet hum of approval in response.

You were starting to lose your mind as you continued to intensify the kiss, mouths working against one another. He groaned at the way you ground your hips forward, meeting his in a desperate attempt to feel more of him.

His movements became erratic before he pulled back, panting heavily, eyes dark and hooded with lust.

"Jesus fucking–" his words came out hoarse and breathy.

Then his hands swept along the back of each of your thighs to lift you off the floor and onto his hips.

You squealed his name against his lips as he swung you around and laid you down on the soft sheets of the queen-sized bed in one swift motion, his mouth not once leaving yours.

Fitting himself between your legs, he spread them easily with his body, grinding his pelvis against your clothed heat, making sure you felt just how huge he was and how much he wanted you. 

With each rut, he pressed his throbbing cock directly against your sensitive nub. It had your blood boiling, your core clenching and you canted your hips to meet his, the coil inside of you tightening by the second.

"Touya–" you panted into his mouth, nails digging into his shirt.

It felt better than anything you could've imagined. The pressure in your guts increased, the coil wound tighter and tighter, a white heat starting to blister, and with the next press of his hips against your mound—

“Touya, wait!" you gasped against his mouth, but it was too late.

Your orgasm exploded and had you moan into his mouth, back arching off the soft mattress, pressing your breasts against him.

His movements stalled and he looked at you with a puzzled look on his face.

"Did you just…?" A surprised smirk spread on his face.

You just laid below him, trying to catch your breath, cheeks bright red and lips raw and swollen from the intensive kissing.

"Yes, you did!" His soft chuckle vibrated through you, making you squirm underneath him.

"S-Shut up," you muttered, your hand raising to cover your blushing face.

"I think it's cute." A hand slid into your palm, fingers interlacing with yours as the other rose to brush a piece of hair away from your eyes.

"I'm just sensitive." You tried to explain, your face warming.

"I love that about you," he said, his warm breath fanning against your skin. "No need to apologize."

"You're just messing with me" you murmured, eyelashes fluttering shyly.

"I'd never," you heard him say under his breath.

You both stayed like this for a few more moments, warm bodies pressed against one another. 

Then he asked, tentatively, "So, you want to stop here?"

Carding your fingers through his messy hair you laughed, "You better not--”

He buried his face in your neck and groaned deeply. "God, why do you have to be so perfect—?"

"Trying my hardest," you giggled.

He started nibbling against your pulse, making you writhe underneath him. You could feel him smirking against your skin at your reaction, lips finally brushing yours and you untangled your fingers to pull at his hair. You started kissing, deep and longingly, darting your tongue between his lips to get a better taste of him. He kept kissing you, deep and messy, just pausing to nip at your lips before shoving his tongue in your mouth again.

Without breaking the kiss, you propped yourself up on your elbows. Touya wrapped his arms around you, grabbed the zipper of your dress, and slowly pulled it down to its bottom. Hooking his fingers under your straps, he pulled the dress down over your bare breasts and you helped get your arms out. Leaning back, he gently guided you back onto the mattress. When the dress was at your hips and you lifted them, allowing him to glide it over your butt and off your legs. 

The kiss never broke, eyes closed with lust, until suddenly he straightened up, eagerly taking you in with smoldering turquoise eyes. "Shit, you look more beautiful than I imagined." 

"You imagined—?"

"Oh, you don't know how often I dreamed about you." Tracing his fingers around the curve of your completely exposed breasts, "Ever since I first saw you on campus."

With that he sunk down, latching his warm lips around your erect nipple. You sucked in a breath, a blistering heat shooting right through your body as it ripped a loud moan from your mouth. As he continued, running his tongue over your nipples, alternating between swirls and flicks, you gasped for air. His mouth closed in on one, then the other, sucking and biting lightly, while Touya hummed in approval and continued his ministrations on the other breast. 

When he stopped, you looked up at him. There was so much heat between your legs, and you were dripping wet.

“Can't believe that after all these years I finally have you in bed with me." He breathed out heavily, eyes glazed with lust as he peered at you below him. 

And If it was possible to fuck you with a look, this was it.

You swallowed your breath, heart thrumming loud against your chest. “What are you waiting for then?"

“Atta girl,” he said and hooked his thumb under the hem of your panties, pulling them down and off your legs.

Grabbing your thighs and spreading your legs apart, his breathing became faster, seeing your glistening folds, all that arousal seeping out.

"Cheeks, let's skip the foreplay." His face took on a pained expression as he gulped. "I think I'll bust a nut in my pants if I wait any longer."

Tilting your head, you took in the huge, twitching bulk in his pants, urging to be released. "Y-Yeah, go on, I'm ready."

"Thank God." He growled deep and low, hooking his fingers under his shirt.

Pulling it over his head, he threw it carelessly across the room. When he started unbuttoning his pants, you gasped as you saw a neatly trimmed black happy trail leading up to—

Sitting on his knees he pulled his pants down. 

—his pierced cock. 

Jesus Christ. Figured he was pierced– and went fucking commando.

You realized you were holding your breath when he had his eyes on you, asking with an unexpectedly low voice of his, “Ready?”

You nervously nodded when Touya was settling himself back between your legs.

Grabbing his cock at its base, he positioned it against your shimmering folds, sliding it back and forth over your slick pussy instead of putting it in. Precum mixed with your slick, his gaze transfixed on your face, waiting for approval.

The way you tentatively bit your lips was all he needed.

His cock started pressing hard against your entrance, and after a bit of resistance, the head popped in with a burning stretch.

Simultaneously, the both of you moaned out loud and tried to hold your composure. With gritted teeth, Touya pushed further agonizingly slow, groaning, each piercing slightly resisting before finally slipping in.

You felt split open, so sensitive that you struggled to last as he pushed in further, deeper. When he was finally inserted, you couldn't help but cry out again. It wasn't only the length that was impressive. The thickness and piercings were what got your head spinning. 

“Fuck,” Touya hissed through his teeth, desperation in his voice. His head dropped against your neck, his hand tapping out on the sheets.

"I-I think I need a moment here," he panted against your skin, his stiff cock wildly throbbing inside your pussy, close to painting your insides white with his creamy release.

"Whom are you telling," your breathing was labored, trying your hardest not to cum on the spot. 

"Shit, you're so…" he gulped, "Why are you so fucking tight—?"

"Cause you're huge!" You gasped sharply, clenching even harder down on him.

His breathing was still strained, his face still buried in your neck.

"So, do you need me to distract you?" You wheezed. "Pinch something or maybe—punch you?"

"Don't you dare," he chuckled, playfully biting the skin of your shoulder.

“I would never---” You giggled, close to bursting out into laughter over him.

Noticing the tension inside you slowly subsiding, you placed your warm palm on his back, gently running it up and down his stiff back, hoping he’d finally relax. Feeling the muscles slowly soften under your touch, his nether regions calmed down as well. 

"Ok," he finally breathed, "Ready?" 

You only nodded and he—

Holy shit.

You weren't prepared for this at all. Your hand was clutching onto Touya's shoulder for dear life as he began to slowly pull out. All nerve endings were on fire instantly and one hand darted up to clasp over your mouth. 

It felt amazing, his piercings adding just the right friction, his girth to the heavenly pressure. Touya grunted as he stopped, only the cockhead still buried inside your wet warm walls.

Then without a warning, he leaned his weight onto you, sinking his entire length into your pussy again, all the way to the base. He started a hard and deep pace, knocking the breath out of you.

“Touya—” you hit your head against the headboard from how urgently he thrusted forward.

“Cheeks,” he uttered between heavy breaths as he continued to slide his cock in and out of you. “How the fuck do you feel so good?"

"Y-You tell me—" You moaned.

Placing his hands on your hips and wrapping his fingers under your back he suddenly sat on his knees, lifting your butt off the mattress. Forcefully, he pulled you off the pillows and towards him, onto him, and slung your legs over his shoulders. 

Oh! was the last coherent word that your brain came up with before he started fucking you in earnest now.

Fisting your trembling fingers into the bed sheets, you bit your lower lip at the feeling of the steady push and pull, making you gasp and clench around him harder.

Touya muttered feverishly, “Fuck, you’re so wet,” under his breath, dropping his head out of pleasure. "You're dripping down my balls–"

He leaned closer to you, knees at your arms, chest pressing against your breasts as he kissed your lips while continuing to move his hips. His mouth was warm and wet and eager against your own and you clutched your hands around his nape for stability.

You slowly started losing your composure, struggling to hold back your orgasm. Still, you begged for more, more– and he delivered, thrusting into you deep and raw, faster and much more forceful than before, stimulating that special spot in you, brutal and quick.

And you couldn’t help but sob at how good it felt. Never in your life had you experienced anything like this. He hit all the right places, his piercings adding perfectly to the friction. You felt the coil inside you so close to bursting again.

Oh my god, you were gonna cum again.

You honestly never thought that sex could bring this much pleasure, with it feeling raw and amazing at the same time. Your orgasm hit you like a tsunami, squelching sounds mixed with your incoherent sobbing and his low groans, while Touya's heated gaze drank up the lewd expression on your face as you came.

“Wanna fill you up with –fuck– my fucking cum, Cheeks.” He emphasized each word with a hard thrust, making you moan even harder around his length.

You could barely speak at that point, couldn’t even find the energy to move so he slid his hand between your legs, talented fingers starting to rub your clit. 

His mouth found yours again and he kissed you– hungry and sloppy– muttering under his breath, "Do you want me to fill you up? Do you want my cum inside of you?"

"Oh god, yes." You whimpered breathlessly into his mouth.

He started to give you deeper, harder strokes now. You were close to crying, with it all being too much. Your vision became blurry from all the tears in your eyes and your body trembled, legs shook as his thrusts prolonged the orgasm and unearthed another one right behind it.

It made your eyes roll back and toes curl, losing all control as you felt the tingly feeling begin to unwind in your abdomen. You were a mess below him by then, pleading for him to go faster, harder, voice wracked with sobs of ecstasy.

The pleasure coiled, tighter and tighter. You couldn't hold back anymore, with him sliding in and out of you at this insane speed, his cock pounding into your G-spot with every thrust forward, working you both towards your shared high.

Your cries and the wet, squelching sounds of your messy unity echoed off the walls. You didn't care if people at the party downstairs could hear, too lost in each other's pleasure to think about anything else.

“I–,” he slurred, completely out of control. “I’m gonna cum.”

And then Touya’s head dropped against your shoulder, hot breath coming out in rough pants from the exertion. His eyes rolled back and he shuddered — pounding deep into you, erratic and needy. 

The sight of him being so close to bliss, the feeling of him slamming his dick into you— you couldn't handle it, and it had you falling over the edge again. The tension burst, another intense wave of pleasure racking your body as you gushed around his length. It felt like you shattered into a million pieces and then he pulled you back together again.

With his rhythm becoming sloppy and one last thrust, he came deep inside of you. sharing this moment of all-encompassing pleasure with you. 

You felt Touya toppling on top of you almost immediately, chest rising and falling fast as he tried to pump back some air into his lungs.

“Holy—,” he said, breathing heavily at the juncture of your neck.

"Yeah—" you wheezed, trying to get your heart from racing in your chest.

You both stayed like that, drunk on the endorphins rushing through your system. His hair gently brushed over your skin, his soft lips alternating between nibbling and kissing your skin while you ran your hands across his back.

He eventually got soft inside of you and then slipped out, each piercing slowly popping out. Your combined release gushed out, dripping warm and creamy down your ass and onto the sheets below.

Bit by bit, the muffled sounds of the party came back, filling the room. 

"Sooo—" He glanced at you from under his dark bangs. "Are we good now?"

"Touya…."You scolded, shuddering under the feeling of his warm lips against your neck.

"I love how you say my name." He was nosing your skin, "'Getting hard again."

"Imbecile" - you groaned when you felt his soft cock starting to twitch against your dripping folds again.

He chuckled at that response, rubbing his slender nose into your pulse.

"But since you asked so nicely— I'll think about it," raising your arms you weaved your fingers into his hair, earning you an appreciative hum.

"You're so mean, Cheeks" he cooed, continuing to cover your skin with little kisses.

"Just paying you back for years of torture," your lips curled into a soft, satisfied smile before you turned your head to meet his lips for another passionate kiss.

***

The constant talk of the professor made for a monotonous backdrop. You sighed, looking at the digital clock on your tablet. Still a few more minutes to go before class was over and you could enjoy the rest of the day off.

You paid little to no mind to the professor's words, thinking about the weekend and all that happened. After you spent the night with Touya, you both woke before anyone else. He offered to drive you home, but not without buying you your favorite coffee on the way there. After a goodbye kiss at the door, he drove off. 

To your surprise, your roommate had spent the night with Tenko and apparently would stay at his place. It was a turn you'd never anticipated but were pretty happy about. And– it left you alone in your apartment, having enough time to ponder the endless possibilities of what that night with Touya meant for you, with it occupying your mind more than you anticipated. Because even though you knew he was probably busy with getting the cleanup organized, it still ate away at you that he didn't even call once.

So needless to say, doubts were nagging at you. You weren’t sure what this meant, what his intentions were. There were a million other girls in the world he could have chosen. So many hotter ones, prettier ones. So, were you just a phase, just another girl in the line of all the others he's had?

The pain in your chest rose as you kept thinking about this. And you finally concluded that he had to have teased you, that you were just another trophy on his wall of girls he fucked.

You hated this. You hated feeling like this, these thoughts making the turmoil inside you grow. You covered your face with your palms, feeling your eyes turn hot and your lower lip starting to tremble. 

Luckily, you were ripped from your thoughts by the shuffle of the people in the room and realized that the lecture was over. You took a moment to steady your pulsating heart, sighed, and stuffed your belongings into your bag, standing up and shouldering it. 

As you headed towards the door of the lecture room and stepped outside, you only took a few steps before someone was by your side, slinging an arm around your shoulders, and pulling you close.

Looking up with wide eyes, you saw Touya, effortlessly handsome as always, grinning at you, "Hey, Cheeks, missed ya."

You didn't know what to say, noticing how people stopped in their tracks to stare at the both of you, whispers starting behind raised hands.

"W-What are you doing here, Touya?" Your cheeks blushed as the wetness of your lashes reminded you of your recent doubts.

"I'm here to see my girl." He circled one arm around your waist, rasping, "I'm sorry, but my dad kept me busy yesterday so I couldn't talk much."

"Oh," you replied as his hand slipped behind your nape, pulling you closer.

"I'm gonna make it up to you, ok?" He leaned his forehead against yours, his perfect turquoise eyes glancing right into yours. "Let's spend the rest of the day together."

You only nodded, brain empty, just filled with his scent, his warmth, his low seductive voice in your ears. It made a certain heat rise inside of you again and you clenched your thighs, secretly cursing him for having such an effect on you. 

Then Touya dipped his head down to press his warm lips against yours, not caring about the increasing number of onlookers. All thoughts left your brain when the wet tip of his tongue flicked across your lips, demanding entrance. His hand moved to your cheek to tilt your head so he could kiss you even deeper. With the rasp of his warm tongue against yours, you tangled your fingers in his hair, making him moan into your open mouth. His kiss, his touch, had your stomach in knots within seconds.

When you both pulled away for a brief moment to breathe, he groaned "God, I missed this." 

He tugged you back towards him, his tongue plunging into your mouth. You felt hot all over, your skin tingling in anticipation, as your desire for him built inside of you. He shuddered slightly when you worked your hand under his shirt, not thinking about anything but wanting to touch him, feel him.

Being in his arms again, feeling him so close, felt heavenly. 

You shivered, wetness pooling in your pants again, “Touya—”

"Bro, what the fuck?" An all too familiar voice interrupted over the whispers of the surrounding onlookers. "You kissing in public?"

Touya groaned and broke the kiss, straightening up. "Got a problem with that, dumbass?"

"Maybe," Keigo approached, raking his manicured hand through his blond hair.

Coming to a stop in front of you, Keigo hooked his thumbs into his expensive Gucci jeans as he took both of you in. "So Cheeks, can I have a kiss as well—?"

"No, you fucking can't." He hissed, his arms circling protectively around your figure. "Don't even think about touching her."

"Touya, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that." You tried to intervene.

Touya looked straight ahead at Keigo. "Oh yes, he did."

"Yep Birdie, I would love to have a taste of you…" Keigo winked at you.

You blink twice, taking a moment to process his words.

“Piss off, Keigo." Touya hissed.

But the blond man wasn't phased at all by the threat.

"Why not?” Keigo smirked, ruffling his hair. “Are you, like dating or what? Cause, you never date---”

You froze and averted your eyes, afraid of his answer because you still weren't sure what this meant to him.

“Of course we are,” Touya said, unfazed, drawing you closer to him.

"W-We are?" Your stomach somersaulted, heart rising to your throat at his words.

"Sure Cheeks, what else did you think?" Seeing you with disbelief in your eyes he rolled his eyes at you. "That this was just a one-night stand? You disappoint me—"

"Her reaction doesn't surprise me at all." Keigo's teasing smirk split into a full-blown grin, "Never took you for a relationship type of guy."  

Touya’s head spun around to face his friend.

"Me on the other hand," Keigo mused, grinning suspiciously at you, "I am all for a serious relationship, just saying."

"Shut it, Keigo," Touya growled upon his words, visibly irritated. "She's mine."

Looking at Keigo you noticed the corners of his mouth wobbling suspiciously, as his eyes flicked to yours before focusing back on Touya.

Oh. Ohhh—

You found yourself holding back your giggles, watching the scene now unravel in front of you from a different perspective.

"Well, ok," Keigo wiggled his eyebrows at you, "My offer's still up though."

Touya growled deep and threatening. "Keigo, I'm warning you—"

The blonde shrugged at the threat before continuing with a big mischievous grin. "So, was he any good? Cause I'm much better—"

"You motherfuckin–" Keigo barely dodged Touya's fist and spun around to run off cackling, only for your boyfriend to take after him.

"I'm also much bigger than him!" You heard Keigo yell, followed by Touya's angry howl.

You couldn't help but burst out laughing looking after them running down the hall like two little children. Needless to say, this was the best start to college for you after all.

[doublechocolate]

Haibara dissecting Conan/Shinichi like he's some kind of experiment ksjksjf

I think it was around this time when I started to seriously ship them. Haibara, at this stage, was still given the "cold and mysterious" status of a character but the story didn't shy away from showing us how her empathy extended beyond her own needs. She was well aware of Conan/Shinichi's pain, and also Ran's, because she finds herself to be in that same position as them, and has gone through layers of her own emotional turmoil by this point to recognize this.

But more than that, it's blatantly obvious here that if there's anyone who can understand Conan, it's her. There's a level of understanding between them that's deep and personal. And yes, Conan has that with others too, you can argue that, but what he has with Haibara is slightly different. You see, their "friendship" was born out of pain and trauma. They were each others' "doom", in a sense. Haibara created the APTX4869 drug while Conan failed to save Akemi. They saw the sides of each other that others haven't and had to learn to trust each other in their own way. Slowly, they grew to understand one another and from doom, they became each others' hope.

(Long rambling under cut)

There are many instances of Conan being able to understand Haibara's thoughts by merely watching her actions but to me, the one that stood out the most was none other than m26 Black Iron Submarine (not canon to you but canon to me) when they were underwater and Haibara is about let Conan's hand go but he pulls her back up. The entire conversation takes place inside their heads yet they knew exactly what each other was saying. Remember that post I made about them being drift-compatible?

That's why I think Conan is still unaware just how big of a presence Haibara is in his life. He came close to that in m26 but with Pinga, BO and Haibara's kidnapping, he didn't exactly have the time to sit and ponder over it. Surely people (non-shippers) would chalk it up to you, "aakchuallyyyy he just needs her for the antidote". But... are you sure? Are you really, really sure that that's all he is to her? Is that all you understand about Conan/Shinichi as a character? Even Takayama Minami and Hayashibara Megumi commented on how Conan losing his cool and becoming short-tempered when Haibara got kidnapped was unusual of him. In their opinion, the only reason why Conan calmed down was because of Agasa and how the Prof almost risked doing something reckless to save Haibara. Only then Conan realized he needed to remain calm to keep Agasa in check.

And also, Haibara noticed Pinga and Vodka's presence in the hotel first but Conan only noticed when Haibara was in danger. His train of thought literally went; something happened to Haibara -> it's the Organization -> oh shit they've taken her. Like, hello?? Excuse me?? What is this soulmate-level telepathy going on here right in front of my salad??

I've ~kinda~ mentioned this before in a passing before, but CoAi lowkey reminds me of SyaoSaku (from CCS) but in a different font - a more painful and (perhaps) tragic one. Haibara being Syaoran's counterpart, and Conan being Sakura's counterpart. Example; Sakura's infatuation for Yukito was loud and out there, literally everyone knew about it too (Conan/Shinichi with Ran). Meanwhile, Sakura's love for Syaoran was already growing quietly within her. She was showing signs of it but was too distracted to realize it, until the time came when Syaoran was going to leave Japan and return to Hong Kong. All of a sudden it hit her like a train that it was too painful to let him go (Conan/Shinichi with Haibara/Shiho).

This is why I'm convinced that when all of this is over, Conan will have to face the reality of just what Haibara means to him. It doesn't matter if Aoyama doesn't want to explore this, or chooses to address this in a different way. It's his story, he can do what he wants. But personally for me? I know Conan simply cannot go back to his original life as Kudou Shinichi anymore. He's too far changed, forced to recognize the grayness in a world he deemed black and white, empathize with people he would have classified as "criminals" in the past, and live a life of white lie even it meant hurting the people he cared for the most - in short, Conan/Shinichi simply cannot go back to being the same person he was before Tropical Land. And the one person we know for sure who will be able to understand him despite all of this, is Haibara.

I saw a comment once saying that CoAi/ShinShi are supplementary and wouldn't work. I disagree because I think they are more of a narrative foil. Haibara's existence in Conan's life taught him that he isn't invincible (failure to save Akemi) and that not everyone from the Black Organization are cold-blooded assassins. Haibara had her life and freedom stolen from her. Conan, otoh, taught Haibara to live. To not run away from life and to learn to trust people again. All the important people in life left her at some point, but Conan was the only one who kept coming back for her when she chose to give up, holding her hand as tightly as he can.

Conan, the boy who has everything. Haibara, the girl who lost everything. Conan, the boy who keeps trying to dig deeper into the viper's nest. Haibara, the girl who has lived in the viper's nest trying to pull him back from diving further. Conan, the boy who wants to keep tempting fate to save his friends. Haibara, the girl who is willing to die to save her friends. Conan, the boy who thinks his actions of holding back his love is immature. Haibara, the girl who understands his pain enough to know he is anything but. Conan, the boy whose life changed because of the drug Haibara created but in a way also saved his life (Gin chose to not shoot him in the head but fed him the drug instead). Haibara, the girl who lost her sister because Conan couldn't save her but now he'd do anything to make sure she stays alive.

Whether you ship them or not, or see them merely as friends, you can't deny that they play huge roles in each other's lives. We know that when the end comes, Haibara will be willing to let Conan go. She might have already prepared herself for this, even, because Ran is the last person she'd want to hurt at this point. Her resemblance to Akemi is too strong now and she knows Ran adores her a lot too. And from that scene above, we know Haibara feels the same pain Ran and Conan/Shinichi are going through.

But. Will Conan be able to do the same? Can he simply let go of Haibara and return to his old life? Even if Haibara/Shiho does remain in his life, when the dust is settled, can he truly move on from the person whom he has experienced so many life and death encounters with, and in a way, shaped him into becoming the person he is today?

We know the love is one-sided now because we're almost always seeing it from Haibara/Shiho's perspective. But how can we be so sure that something isn't growing deep down in Conan/Shinichi's heart too? If it's something subtle and quiet like the flap of a butterfly's wings now, eventually growing into something that could literally change the course of his life?

If you understand Conan/Shinichi as a person, beyond the shipping lenses, then I think the answer is already obvious.

"It's not cause the creator said so. They're just friends and Shinichi already confessed to someone else". Okay, like I said, the creator can do whatever he wants with his story. I AM choosing to read between the lines based on what that same creator has presented to us. I'm also always reminded of the Akai/Jodie/Akemi love story and how that panned out. I'm saying, things can happen because feelings are complex and sometimes you go through experiences in life that changes you inside out. Both Akai and Conan have had their lives stained by the Black Organization.

Not to mention that, in terms of their personalities, CoAi/ShinShi's relationship are quite a stark parallel to Yuusaku and Yukiko's relationship as well. What Conan/Shinichi needs is someone who can match his level of eccentricity yet at the same time call him out when his head floats too high in the clouds. Haibara is that person. And the best part about it is she didn't even have to change herself to match him - that's pretty much her personality already. Fitting in exactly like a puzzle piece.

Anyway, this is long-winded already. i'll stop rambling here. Also, if this breaches containment and reaches a non-shipper/anti and you have something negative to say, please do me a favor and be a mature person. Leave this post and let's both live in peace.

Love you, CoAi nation, bye!

[googledetective]

my thoughts about the new drdt episode...

I want to start off that this episode has not left me in a great mental state and this piece of fiction is starting to effect my reality in a negative way, currently. I do suffer from mental health issues, so please be sympathetic. If something I say seems too emotional or a bit off, that's likely why. My therapist will be hearing about drdt, lol. No hate towards drdt, it's an amazing project, and I'm amazed at how the piece of fiction is able to make me react in such a way.

1. I am not educated on ASPD or anything like that, so if I say something wrong feel free to correct me. I had a feeling that Levi likely had it from his secret, but this is a cool confirmation. I like that this is represented in a really great way, and that the reactions to his confessions are also very realistic. I like Levi a lot, but now I understand him so much more, and it makes me really appreciate him.

2. I find it interesting how Levi is so detached, as Veronika said, to everything. Even if I was not capable of remorse, I would've remembered killing my own father. I wonder what his father did to be so looked down upon.

2.5. OKAY SO HES KINDA JUST LIKE ME FR. like I stated previously I've had some bad mental health issues in the past to the point I've kicked windshields of cars in and attacked people. It is not my proudest moment, but holy shit I can relate to this a lot. It makes me so good to see someone who's done shit like I've done who's trying to change.

3. Ace really did care about Levi and considered him a friend, which warmed and broke my heart at the same time. I really hope Ace finds another friend, because he deserves to feel some comfort and joy. I hope he learns about Levi's ASPD and realizes Levi has no malicious intent towards him. I find it nice that Ace did really trust and look up to Levi though, it proves him capable of friendship and deeper feelings that people usually overlook. Great complex character.

4. I was shocked that Levi sided with David, but honestly I do too. David is a good person, and we see that later in the ep where he doesn't tell Eden what Arei said.

5. J CALLED OUT HU??? UNEXPECTED. called her a stupid argument moderator. Interesting. I love you J, but watch it.

6. Veronika's secret isn't the worst thing she's ever done- interesting. I think it could be the thing she's the most ashamed of, but you never know. It really breaks my heart for Hu, and I hope we get a backstory on her soon.

I'm coming back after point 14 and adding this: these secrets don't seem to be any of the worst things they've ever done, nor relevant to the killing game (besides "Xander's"). These secrets are personal. I think they each have worse secrets but they are too related to the killing game so they couldn't give those out.

7. Excuse you, David. Freaky ass.

8. that is NOT Teruko's secret 😭😭😭

9. This is seriously rich coming from J, as she usually escalates the situation.

10. Eden's monologue broke my heart. I am so glad David lied to her at the end, or I think Eden's heart would've been broken. This just makes me so sad.

11. "That maybe there would be a world in which we would be friends." I'm sure there would be, since your fans have created worlds that you're dating her.

12. Arei needs to genuinely shut up. This is where I get very upset and irrational. I am so fucking mad at Arei for lying to Eden. For the rest of Eden's life she's going to be wondering what she could've done or if her friendship was enough. Why the fuck would you lie and say you believed you could change, only to come back and admit you know you can't. My heart breaks for Arei though, because I believe she could've changed. This especially makes me so upset because as a previously bad person who relates to Arei and tries to change, I feel like I'm going to give up hope to do so too. Obviously I gotta overpower and not let fiction effect my reality, but it really hurts.

13. Arei's worldview that nobody is a good person mirrors David's (though David excludes Xander). Makes me really sad. I can hope, but there's really no hope left.

14. Well we know who attacked Xander (what the actual fuck). I hope we learn how that ties in later. Eden's hidden quote, "you can never go back, no matter how hard you try." maybe it's referring to this incident instead of the situationship with her friends in the past.

15. Love this.

16. WE HAD A JRUKO MOMENT!!! So happy about this!!!

17. Why the actual fuck does Whit know so much about how that hanging mechanism would work. You're making yourself look so suspicious. High and low were highlighted, which was interesting.

18. Whit said this murder would've been hard if Arei wasn't a willing victim. If she was, this just makes this case even more tragic. She may have convinced herself to give up hope and cooperated with the killer, which pains me a lot. I think this was due to David's secret.

19. I love the carousel bit! And the banter between Arturo and Whit. They had banter last trial too, so that's a continuation. Maybe they'll have a confrontation in the future.

20. NICO FUCKED BRO

21. At this point my only logical conclusion of who I think the killer could be is J.

22. Everyone is bringing up Ace's friend- Taylor! It's seriously throwing me for a loop bc that's my name!

ENDING:

To clarify, I think it's sad that Arei believes she can't change and even started doubting Eden.

[omegalomania]

i think what i admire most about this record after sitting with it for a full day is the marriage of its musicality and its lyricism.

lyrically..."nihilistic" is a really good way of putting it. i was honestly kind of floored by how goddamn bleak so much of the lyricism on this record is. there's so much desolation, so much hopelessness, so much struggling to find meaning in meaninglessness. lyrically, i think this might be some of pete's darkest but also some of his best work. there's so much grappling with the feeling that maybe it's all pointless. maybe none of it fucking gets better. maybe you're always going to be fighting to figure out some kind of sense and feeling displaced and the further you look toward the horizon, the more the inevitability of the end scares the living shit out of you.

so much (for) stardust is utterly desolate lyrically. even little granules of hope feel tongue-in-cheek or in denial. so...what? does anything ever get better? are we all just flailing around, trying to make our stupid lives make sense? but at the same time, fall out boy are the happiest they've ever been as a band. they waited five years so they could savor making this record and they were genuinely excited to share it with all of us. pete is wearing skirts and letting his hair down and they're playing songs that once got them booed off stage with fearless love in their eyes and they're looking after each others' mental health and supporting one another through it all. what does it mean for a band to release something this somber at this point in time for them?

the "reality bites" pink seashell speech sums it all up kind of perfectly. so maybe life is inherently meaningless, but at the same time...there's good food. there's beautiful weather. there are still good movies, and the sound of rain on the windows, and hope, and friendship, and joy. maybe there's no point. but that doesn't change that there's still laughter. there's still love.

and that's what's in the sound of this record. the big, cinematic swell of an orchestra. the upbeat chirps of a synth. the screeching of a guitar and some bouncy, catchy goddamn riffs that'll live under your skin for days. this is a record you dance to and cry to. (cry a little, cry a lot, but don't stop dancing, don't dare stop.) sonically, this is a record laden with grit and delight and a powerful sense of purpose, from catchy pop hooks to roaring, cinematic anthems. it sits in delicious contrast to the words but it doesn't undermine them. it complements them. happy music for sad people.

of course there's pain, and there's frustration, and the world is full of tragedy and hopelessness and maybe the worst part of it is that it doesn't go away once you grow up. as you get older, you don't ever magically learn how everything clicks together. you just have to fumble through it and hope for the best, even if it feels like it never gets any easier.

it's a hard lesson to learn. but you aren't alone in it. so what fates do we share? we're all stardust. we all share the same end. we are not alone in our fears and uncertainties and we will not be alone at the end either, not really. we came from stardust and to stardust we will return.

i think if there is a hope i can take away from this record it's like...this feeling that it doesn't get better, really. but you do get better at living with it, and to someone like me, that's vital. years ago i had to come to terms with the valuable, painful lesson that i will not, mentally, neurologically, ever get "better." there will never be a point where i am "cured" of all that i must live with. but i've grown better at living with it. and there are things out there that i'm living for anyway - good food, better friends, and maybe a long-anticipated record you need to put on replay for a good long while as you soak it in.

maybe none of this matters, in the end. but if it doesn't, then this is what matters. this.

"if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."

[astrologanize]

june 2024 sun sign horoscope

aries sun: hmph, it seems that there may be some careless decisions that catch up with you this month but you will also be realizing where you've been wasting energy and what risks are worth taking vs not. risk will be taking on a practical meaning for you as this month presents you with very little choice but to change your routine. emotional baggage will be surfacing as the universe pops a few of your balloons and you're gonna have to sit (helplessly) in those feels & endure - it will be okay

taurus sun: it's a month for y'all to show lessons learned so you will be placed in situations that grant you the opportunity to demonstrate your ability to find proper resolve & acceptance. do you want to stay stuck in a situation/cycle? let's hope not. try to set aside your pride and insecure reactions and actually allow for genuine understanding/rapport

gemini sun: you're definitely going to be considering the longevity/trajectory of certain parts of your life throughout june. overall your month will be one thing after another happening, i'm not seeing too much interference, but in the back of your mind you will be in a processing mode. this year there has been a lot about what you're holding onto/what you need to release and with jupiter's ingress into gemini you're going to start finding your freedom. now isn't quite the time to make decisions but it is the time to get motivated with assurance in your capabilities

cancer sun: what truly fulfills you? what do you definitively feel and what emotions are running amuck? this month you're going to have moments of regressing, you may behave brash at times, and it's really you trying your hardest to deflect & put a cap on your emotions because you're having a difficult time maneuvering proper self-care for yourself. there are in fact things that you need to work on this month and in order to do so you need to stop trying to have control and walling people off. no sticking your fingers in your ears and singing 'lalala i don't care i don't wanna deal with this'

leo sun: oh goodness...i am 57439753% seeing a theme of unexpressed feelings, resentment, bitterness, and emotional hurts that you are not over yet. let's try not to go overboard with speaking our minds about these things because although it is terribly important that you do finally express your grievances, let's not snowball a situation & make it worse or unnecessarily burn bridges. you will be feeling quite formidable this month and ready to take on challenges, which does involve you doing things out of your comfort zone. just remember to keep your dignity, keep things cute and know that the energy you put out comes back to you - maybe you can even correct some wrongs that you played a part in

virgo sun: 'decode' by sabrina carpenter, 'landslide' by fleetwood mac, there's this theme of coming to terms with a chapter being over and the aftermath of that, and/or with you realizing that this is what something is - this situation/person isn't changing/it's settled and you have your answer(s). so this month is a month for you to tend gently to this process of maturation with this current reality, you may not be feeling inspired at all and you may be feeling like you have no clue about anything right now but things are unfolding as they shall - remember to be kind to yourself

libra sun: welp, somehow once again (same as in april) you will be having opportunities to show lessons learned. this time around there is deeper introspection and any illusions that have yet to be revealed will be revealed/any falsities will find truth. other people will have a lot to say this month, you will have a lot to say this month, and some shit talking is bound to happen - it seems that softening/having kindness will be highlighted though so perhaps you'll choose to kill 'em with kindness or you'll be reflecting on times where you extended too much grace to someone. regardless, try to be the bigger person and take the high road

scorpio sun: i guess whenever a sign is in need of a change the song "something has to change" by the japanese house comes through because that's exactly what came to mind. you're going to be considering what in your life has actually been productive & conducive for you, what has brought you unhappiness, where you have gone too far, and throughout june there will be plenty of moving parts as your sense of stability is rearranged. plans will fall through, your routine is having to change, and ultimately you will be having to adjust like crazy. the world is not necessarily your oyster this month, try to recognize behaviors/situations that have gotten out of hand and contain yourself

sagittarius sun: this month you're going to be meditating on reaching your potential, whatever that means to you, and in the process you will be thinking about what has come to pass and what you have yet to figure out. there may be past connections that you're in your feelings about this month, there may be issues within a connection that you're not dealing with yet, there is just something in your life that is leaving you feeling unfulfilled and you are not addressing it - perhaps you don't know how. there will be distractions throughout june, things that interfere with productivity/work and this may involve actual changes when it comes to your work/job. now is a time for you to embrace some growing pains so try to lessen your expectations and demonstrate restraint

capricorn sun: there is an overarching sense that something is thrown off for you, it's almost giving stir crazy...like feeling stuck and unhinged. throughout june you're going to be trying your darnedest to maintain objectivity and sensibility as you persist through a lack of assurance...like yeap i am choosing to be cool calm & collected, am i actually confident at all in what i am doing? nope. try to remember to breathe deeply this month and avoid being overly reactive - some solutions may be simpler than you think

aquarius sun: the girls are fighting!!! lol. something is not going to go your way this month and you are noootttt going to be happy about it, my goodness. if you have plans in mind for june then they may not happen or they may not happen the way you want, you may reach a dead-end with something/someone, whatever it is...you're like...this is not acceptable and i want to fight about it. how about instead you practice your ability to be an aquarius that knows how to work with others and work through things with others, try to be reasonable rather than manic

pisces sun: this month there is an overarching theme of honing in your energy and maturing but not in a way that is going to be experienced as heavy. throughout june you will be feeling pretty good about yourself and in light spirits, you will be socializing and adapting and being confident amongst others. there may be some gossip this month, maybe a lil petty drama, whether it's you involved in it or spreading it or just being adjacent to it. your best advice at this time is to be assured in your standards/moral, hold yourself in a healthy regard - not in a judgmental/nitpicky one, and be direct. try not to baby anyone this month and be overly attentive/accommodating either (i suppose that is a part of holding yourself in healthy regard)

[galene-gothic]

𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗈𝗋 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝗂𝖿𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

Your current or next significant connection is going to be a situationship, I wanted to read only relationships but this situationship came through very strongly so I’m just going to interpret this for you. They’re someone who feeds off of social and romantic attention with no intention of committing. They’re someone who’s mean and only cares about themself. They lack self awareness. They’re someone who feels like everyone blames them unfairly, this is funny because they’ll be the one victim blaming and gaslighting you. If you have a narcissistic mother or an unhealthy relationship with your mother, this person is going to be similar to your mother, even if you do not realise it when you’re with them, after things end, you’ll notice similarities. They’re a know-it-all and act like they’re all that but in reality, they are crippling with insecurities. They’ll not be focused on you and they’ll be giving you just enough to keep you in their life (probably just empty promises or a few sweet moments here and there). I hate to say this like this but this frustrates me. This person clearly doesn’t deserve you, they won’t even be able to fulfil your basic needs. ‘Vampire’ by Olivia Rodrigo is how this situation is going to turn out for you. I’m not even sure as to why you’ll be sticking with them, they’ll literally put in no effort and show no passion. They’ll be possessive and territorial over you.

However, they’ll not treat you right because they’ll not find you good enough to commit to. Also, you’ll be letting a lot slide so they’ll continue mistreating you because you keep on allowing it. They’ll be really critical of you and take a lot from you, completely drain you out but won’t give you even the slightest amount of respect. They’ll be bread-crumbing you, giving you just enough attention and appreciation to not lose you completely but will never give you what you deserve and require. You’ll convince yourself that you’re satisfied because of the affection and attachment that you’ll feel towards them. This is so major, they’ll teach you enough common sense, discernment and self respect to never let someone like them into your life again. They’ll be someone really arrogant and a show-off. At some point, you’ll literally feel abused (could be anything emotionally, physically, mentally). They’ll say something and treat you as if you’re an object and not a person at all. They’ll act very selfishly and make everything about themself. You’ll be forced to leave people behind, your social life will be dying and you’ll be going through a really lonely time, they’ll make you feel really shitty. You’ll have forgiven them many times already by then but they’ll still be leaving you in a position where you have to watch everything you say just so you can avoid fights.

You’ll start feeling a lot of guilt towards yourself for putting up with such poor treatment. You’ll start regretting them. They’ll start feeling like a bag of stress to you and you’ll see the opportunity to move on without regrets and you’ll take it. A lot of uncertainty is going to be involved in the situation but you’ll choose your integrity and feelings above that person so you’ll feel like it’s only fair if you get away. Your nervous system and mental state will be all over the place at that time so the fact that you’re choosing yourself is very admirable. You’ll think that it’s just ‘cause and effect’, they treated you like shit so you walked away. They’ll treat you so bad that you’ll feel like you can basically survive anything. After leaving them behind, you’ll feel like you’re already over the worst. You’ll learn a lot of life lessons from the situation. Things will collapse completely but you’ll be left with a chance to build something completely new. The way you’ll remember them is “I survived them”. This connection will be very important as you’ll stop wanting to involved in such situations. Due to how they’ll treat you, you will also be kind of defensive at times (when involved with them) but you’ll always apologise when you feel like you’ve done something wrong and try to make things better but they won’t have it in them to do the same thing. You’ll be very understanding with them and will try to be there for them through hardships but they’ll be nowhere to be found when you need them. You’ll learn and grow from this, take care and all love.

︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

Your next partner is someone who’s patient, practical and responsible. They’re also someone who really values loyalty. They’re ambitious and persistent. They’re someone who works hard and likely has a strict routine. They’re very reliable but yeah once they get angry, it’s a bit of a show. They’re very stubborn too. They have a lot of responsibilities and stress in their life though. They work very hard and push themself to the limits. They can be over ambitious and burn themself out though. They take a lot onto themself and work under a lot of pressure. They’re also very serious about their goals. They’ll be very intentional in regards to you, they’ll be focused on you, there’s something about you that just inspires them and hypes them up. They’ll be determined to overcome any obstacles when it comes to you, they’ll be willing to work hard for your relationship. They’ll see how desirable you are and they’ll express it to you, they’ll make you feel like the most desirable person on earth. They’ll understand your thirst for knowledge, for experiences and they’ll think that you’re something on a different level. They’ll be interested in figuring out the deepest parts of you, in uncovering your deepest fears and darkest secrets. They’ll be truly tender with you and that’s exactly what you’ll want, someone who is willing to listen to you and take care of you. They’ll be affectionate and will try to be there for you. They’ll write love letters for you and send you romantic messages. They’ll be sensitive to your needs and kinda treat you like a kid. They’ll also act kind of childish and playful around you. They’ll have a very big crush on you.

Also, it will be very difficult for them to contain it. They’re going to admire your beauty and you’ll be able to catch them all flustered. Like the energy will just speak volumes about how they feel towards you. There will be an electric current between the both of you and also a strong psychic connection/ communication. The moment they’ll enter a room, they’ll look around for you. They’ll treat you the way an admirer treats one he or she admires. The dynamic between the both of you will include a lot of stimulation but you won’t be able to give up the craving for more. You’ll feel so passionate and excited regarding each other. You’ll act really youthful and childlike with one another. You’ll be fearless which will lead to you being reckless. You’ll also be really childlike with one another. Before the both of you even date, there’ll be a lot of impatience surrounding the situation for the both of you. You will just want to rush into things and most of you are going to do it. This relationship is going to interrupt with your plans. There’s something about the both of you being a power couple but still very incompatible. The chemistry between the both of you is going to fog your incompatibility though, you’ll still compliment each other regardless of your incompatibility. You’ll make bad decisions in this relationship but through each other, you’ll find different passions. You’ll learn more about yourselves. You’ll be loyal to them but you’re going to act obsessed with them. You’ll also let your mental health get the best of you. You’re going to be quite secretive about a lot regarding yourself and it could prove to be a setback in some way.

You won’t even be able to resist them though and it’ll be the same way with them, but you could end up using their irresistibility towards you against them if you aren’t careful. Frankly, you could end up acting really manipulative towards them. There might be something about them that will trigger you and you’ll hate-love them. You will meet them at a time where you’re processing a lot of anger and resentment or they’ll just make you tick off for some reason. They’ll feel like there’s a lot of trouble between the both of you. The way you’ll be acting will cause them to start thinking negatively because you’ll just shatter their dreams of you. They’ll feel like they have to make a decision concerning you because they will be feeling really dissatisfied and sad. For some of you, you’re going to be able to work it out and have a good long term relationship. For the rest of you, this relationship is going to take you one step closer to your ultimate love by shedding light into parts of you that need healing. You’ll start trying to manage life better after things end, you’ll start getting things that you want too, one at a time. From the relationship, you’ll learn about the importance of not being too aloof, having integrity and some of you will learn that rumours can ruin people’s lives (you’ll probably be involved in rumours if this is the case). You’ll learn that playing stupid games wins you stupid prizes. You’ll also learn that overindulgence is not good. You might also realise that you don’t really have true friends. You’ll learn how to be more mature and loving. You’ll start coming in terms with your sensitivity and kindness. You could end up being too loving though, make sure not to become a people pleaser, alright? Take care !!

︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

Your next significant partner is someone who is very passionate about, they’re someone who tries to expand their potential. They are someone who truly believes in themself and gives their best. They have a lot of ideas, to the point they find them overwhelming even. They have a lot of potential for really great things. They’re someone who’s had important breakthroughs in life and are into self improvement. They’re taking action and are optimistic right now. Their past is still negatively affecting them though. They’re someone who is pretty secretive too. They’re still stuck in unhealthy cycles. This is very conflicting, they have strong personal values or are developing them but they weren’t the best person the past. They are also very realistic but still so delusional? They feel trapped by a missed opportunity of some sort. They’re still emotionally immature and possibly even depressed. They can be someone very resentful because of their tendency to obsess. They overlook what’s obvious in order to believe the little stories in their head when it comes to love. They’re very realistic regarding everything else though. They’re still very naive and can be very gullible to love bombing, they’ve possibly fallen victim to it before. They’re manipulative and really lonely. They lack proper communication skills. The relationship between the both of you is going to require really big effort of one of your part.

I’m sorry but this person could still not be over their past relationship or something like that. This relationship is not going to be long term. Despite, how qualified you might be for them, they won’t be noticing your greatness. You’re someone who pretends to be happy even if you’re not and that’s exactly what you’ll be doing when you’re with them. It will start off exciting for you but you’ll start feeling like you deserve better as you continue to be with them, somehow, your self esteem will be so low that you will feel like no one else would want you though. You’ll be feeling quite oppressed in that relationship. They will probably downplay the things that you say to them, etc. That relationship will be extremely stressful. You’ll also start feeling quite passive aggressive towards them. I’ve heard something like ��women aren’t crazy, they’re driven to it”, you don’t have to be a woman but it could apply to you during and after this relationship. You’ll be too scared of having difficult conversations here. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is just a situationship as well. You’ll feel stagnant and stuck in the situation. They’ll act like things will inevitably come to an end but they won’t be ending it properly. It’ll be obvious that they’re still emotionally attached to their past. They’ll be avoiding ending things but they won’t be treating you right either. They’ll treat you like you’re a burden.

They’ll act like you disappoint them with everything that you do. They’ll treat you as if they are settling for you. You need to be very careful here because they’ll be lacking self awareness and emotional maturity. They’ll just act like things are hopeless and like you’re not all that important. At the beginning though, they’ll be trying to act as if they’re happy. They’ll be angry at you for some reason but it won’t have much if anything at all to do with you. You’ll learn how to pay attention to details because of this connection. You’ll learn how to use your intellect against people to be honest (probably unintentionally). Before entering a relationship with them or getting involved with them, you’re someone who has little to no fear of changes. Someone who knows how to take changes for the best or for the worst, someone who knows how to leave the old things behind. You’re also someone very quick to change perspective though. After your relationship or connection with them, you’ll become someone really successful, generous and strong willed. You’ll become someone who’s more free with expression of anything (including affection) but knows how to be harsh when things come down to it. You’ll gain some sort of an enlightenment. You’ll become someone indecisive though, and someone who prioritises having friends and lovers who treasure you and are on the same level when it comes to character. All the best and take care 🩵.

[dixons-sunshine]

Because Of Her | Michonne Hawthorne x Fem!Reader

Summary: You met Michonne not long after your camp fell. The two of you wandered the world side by side, always sticking by one another's side through thick and thin. However, somewhere along those lines, friendship and feelings got blurred together, and all it took was for you to get hurt for her to admit that.

Genre: Angst, fluff.

Era: Prison, season 3.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, mentions of death.

Word count: 1.9k.

A/n: Changed the title because this took an entirely different turn than what I originally wanted. Also, I'm sick at the moment, so my mind isn't really clear, so I apologize if this sucks. However, I hope you like this!

Everything was a blur to you. One minute, you were laughing and checking for weapons in the abandoned prison bus with Michonne. The next minute, you found yourself cowering to avoid the bullets that the Governor and his men were shooting at you, using your own weapon to eliminate the approaching walkers while you made a run for the safety of the cellblocks.

“Shit! Michonne, to your left!” you called out desperately, using your gun to shoot a walker that nearly took a chunk out of your arm.

Michonne used her katana to take out a walker that was heading towards her. Once the threat was taken care of, she turned towards you and extended her hand in your direction. “Come on, we gotta go!”

Grabbing her hand, the two of you made a run for it, evading the undead that wanted to make the two of you their next meals. Michonne had to temporarily let go of your hand to kill an approaching walker, and you took the liberty to shoot back at the men that wanted to murder each and every one of you.

You felt a sharp pain shoot through your side, and you hissed. Michonne, perceptive as ever, looked over at you, concern written all over her beautiful features. You wanted to do nothing more than to cup her cheeks and kiss her frown away, but you knew that would never happen—so you settled for her friendship. It was better to have her as your friend than not have her in your life at all.

“You okay?” Michonne hurriedly asked you, her eyes scanning over your form worriedly.

You nodded and took her hand again, subconsciously longing for the comfort the warmth of her hand brought you. “I'm fine. Let's go!”

What felt like centuries but was in reality only a few seconds, you and Michonne finally reached the gates leading to the cellblocks. Maggie, spotting you and Michonne, hurriedly opened the gates and ushered the two of you inside. Just as the two of you rushed to safet, the Governor and his people retreated, their vehicles rumbling away in the distance.

“What the fuck happened?!” you exclaimed, sharing bewildered looks with Maggie and Michonne. “How can they retaliate this fast?”

“They have the numbers. The Governor told a story to his people and he decided that we'd make the perfect antagonists,” Maggie spat out bitterly. “With people now thinking we're the bad guys, it would make sense for the Governor to play into their fear and convince them to fight.”

Before you could reply, Rick came rushing through the gates. The man you had learned to be named Daryl was hot on his tail, followed closely by the guy you probably hated more than the Governor—Merle Dixon.

Rick, cleverly sensing that you, Michonne and Maggie weren't all too thrilled to see the man who caused you all so much pain and suffering, sent you all a warning but pleading look. “Not now, please. We'll discuss this inside.”

Eyeing the older Dixon with distaste, you scoffed and turned to walk back into the safety of the prison. Michonne followed behind you, not sparing the people she had yet to trust a second glance.

As the two of you walked into the prison, your adrenaline started to wear off. The sting in your side started throbbing painfully, but you chose to ignore it for the time being, not wanting to start a fuss over you when there was more pressing concerns at hand.

And as you walked, you were unaware of the blood seeping through your shirt, the bullet still lodged in your flesh, no exit wound in sight.

“Field's filled with walkers,” Rick Grimes started, walking over to the group that had assembled to form a plan to fight back against the Governor. “I didn't see any snipers out there, but we'll keep Maggie on watch.”

“I could be up in the guard tower. Take out half them walkers and give these guys a chance to fix the fence,” Daryl offered an idea, standing with his hands on his hips.

“Or use some of the cars to put the bus in place,” Michonne replied, sharing a glance with you.

You nodded at her suggestion, subtly clutching your side as the pain only worsened. “I could do it. Just give me some extra ammo for my gun.”

“No, there's no way you're doing it alone,” Michonne instantly denied. “I'm going with you.”

“No, you need to stay here. You're one of the strongest fighters. It doesn't matter if the walkers get to me. If the Governor comes back—”

“I don't care about that,” Michonne cut you off, shaking her head and sending you a pointed look. “I can't let anything happen to you.”

“Mich—”

“No need to go at each other's throats,” Hershel interrupted, diffusing the situation in a calm voice. “Besides, there's no way we can access the field without burning through our bullets.”

“So we're trapped in here,” Glenn mused unenthusiastically. “There's barely any food or ammo.”

“We've been here before. We'll be alrigh',” Daryl replied, chewing on his thumbnail.

As Glenn countered his words, your head started to spin. Your vision was starting to blur and it felt as if all the life had been drained from you. You stumbled a bit, accidentally bumping into the archer.

Daryl steadied you, sending you a confused frown. “The hell's wrong with ya?”

Michonne looked at you in concern. She placed her hand on your forearm, gently rubbing her thumb over your exposed skin. “Y/n, are you okay?”

You nodded weakly. “Yeah, I'm...” you started but trailed off, unable to speak properly. The world was spinning, and the floor was seemingly starting to disappear around you.

“Y/n?”

Michonne's voice was the last thing you heard before everything started to go black. You fell back, your eyes closing. The last thing you remembered before you fell unconscious was someone catching you, their arms wrapping around you to pick you up.

You felt groggy when you finally woke up again. The pain in your side had somehow increased yet lessened at the same time, and your head was pounding relentlessly. You groaned and tried to sit up, but a voice startled you.

“S'probably not a good idea to do tha' righ' now.”

Looking up, you locked eyes with Daryl. The man was leaning against the open cell door, watching you in intrigue. His eyes closely followed your movements, ensuring that you didn't injure yourself more, a pleading request for him to do so by Michonne.

“Why do you care what happens to me?” you asked in confusion. “If I were to stand up right now and drop dead, why would you care?”

“I dun',” Daryl shrugged, pushing himself off the doorframe and walking into the cell. “But yer girlfriend cares, and I promised her I'd make sure ya were okay, and I ain't one fer breakin' promises.”

“She isn't my girlfriend,” you corrected him, eliciting an amused snort from the man.

However, when Daryl saw that you were being serious, he looked surprise. “Damn, the two of ya ain't goin' steady?”

“No,” you confirmed, albeit with a sullen undertone in your voice. “She isn't even in to women.”

“But ya are.”

“Yup,” you confirmed, knowing there was no use in hiding the truth from him. “But Michonne isn't. You have a better chance to get with her than I do.”

“Fer some reason, I highly doubt tha',” Daryl mused, chuckling at your confused expression. “I overheard her tellin' Carol tha' “it wasn't supposed to be like this” and tha' she “should've said somethin' sooner”.”

“That could mean a lot of things. It doesn't mean that she's in to me.”

“If ya say so,” Daryl replied, sending a nod in your direction. “I'll go tell her tha' yer awake.”

“Thanks, Daryl,” you thanked him, receiving another nod in return before the man left the cell.

A few painful, agonizing minutes passed before you could hear shuffling outside the makeshift medical cell. You looked up just in time to see Michonne rushing in, a relieved expression on her face.

You opened your mouth to talk, but you were cut off. Michonne dropped to her knees beside the bed and gently grabbed your face in her hands, firmly pressing her lips against yours.

Your eyes widened in surprise for a moment, completely caught off guard, but you soon closed your eyes and felt yourself melting into the kiss. The kiss ended way too quickly for your liking, Michonne being the one to pull back first.

Michonne looked deeply into your eyes, worry and relief fighting for dominance in her beautiful irises. You brought your hand up the her face, softly rubbing her cheeks with the pads of her thumbs.

“Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?” you asked her in a whisper.

Michonne shook her head, willing the tears in her eyes to go away. “Just in case something else happens that takes you away from me,” she explained. “I needed you to know how I felt, even if I'm fucking pissed at you.”

You frowned in confusion. “Wait, why?”

“Because you kept that bullet wound a secret and you almost died!” she exclaimed in exasperation. “How long have you had this?”

“A bullet wound?” you questioned, shaking your head in realization. “That's what that pain was. One of the Governor's asshole groupies shot me.”

“Yeah, and you told me you were fine, you bitch,” she replied, wiping the tears that formed in her eyes away. “Don't ever hide something like that from me again. I can't lose you too.”

“Wait,” you started, finally grasping what had happened. “You kissed me. Holy shit, you kissed me! You like me!”

Michonne laughed and nodded. “Yeah, I do. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I was scared I was gonna ruin our friendship.”

“I didn't even know you liked women. I thought you liked guys,” you responded, surprise evident in your tone.

“You do know it's possible for someone to like men and women, right?”

“I wouldn't know. I've only ever liked girls.”

Michonne chuckled, before lowering her head to rest against your hand that layed flat on the bed. “Please don't leave. I wouldn't survive if I lost you too.”

You smiled at her, the atmosphere between the two of you making a permanent shift. “I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me.”

“I guess I could live with that,” she smiled, before lifting her head and leaning in for another kiss, one that you instantly reciprocated.

As you melted into the kiss, even though your side was killing you, you had to admit to yourself, you have never felt more at ease than at that moment. And you guessed you probably should tell Daryl he was right, but that was a discussion for another day. At that moment, all you wanted to do was melt into Michonne's arms.

You were content for the first time in a long time, and it was all because of her.

©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.

[sunrisemill]

♡ The little things ♡

Summary: Matt has always been pressured to live up to his father and everything that he expects him to be. Y/n has always been very quiet and has been pressured by her whole family to step out of her comfort zone and live her life free from her worries. What will happen when they unexpectedly run into each other at a random ice cream shop?

(Warnings: Toxic family members (Nothing happens though dw it’s only mentioned)

Pt.2

(Matt’s POV)

“You want me to leave?! Fine then, I’m done dealing with this shit.”

I shout out across the house before slamming the front door behind me.

This is the third fight we've had this week.

Ever since my dad found out I've been ditching classes he's been on my ass about everything.

So what? I skip a couple of art classes. It's not like it actually matters.

The thing is my dad is a stern man. Ever since I was a child he told me that I needed to learn how to be a real man.

So that means I shouldn't ever talk about how I feel. I should just suppress my emotions, so I do that.

The only downside is that my emotions come back up in bursts of anger that I can't control.

It's not like I want to be this way, it's the way I've been wired since I could remember.

But the truth is I’m scared.

I’m scared that I’m never going to escape these emotions.

Everyone is going to forever know me as the miserable grump, Matt Sturniolo.

I wish I could change it around but nobody gives me the chance.

Maybe… when the opportunity arises I might have a chance, but I know that's not true.

As I start to spiral into worse thoughts, a hot pink neon sign in the shape of an ice cream cone catches my attention.

I find myself squinting my eyes as I try to make out the letters.

“Gelato Galore”

No way they’re being serious…

GELATO GALORE?

That's ridiculous but I might as well try it, all I want is to be alone and what better place to be alone than an ice cream shop during winter?

I step through the door and I’m instantly overwhelmed by the bright colours, I feel like I’m drowning in an ocean of pink.

It’s everywhere I look!

As my eyes dart around they land on the only person in the shop besides the workers.

It’s a random girl and she seems upset, I feel like I know her from somewhere but I can’t place it.

The way she looks is something you could only describe as a depressing portrait made by a struggling artist, her hair falling in front of her face as tears roll down her cheeks.

The redness on her nose matching the small cherry on top of her sundae that she seems to be refusing to eat by the way she pushes it aside.

I feel a strong urge to check up on her but I don’t know if I should. I’ve never been good at helping people in need.

I sigh as I walk up to the counter. Whatever she's going through is none of my business.

~~~~

(Y/ns POV)

I let out a couple of sad sniffles as I push the little maraschino cherry that's on top of my ice cream to the side.

He was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago…

I keep telling myself that he must be stuck in traffic or maybe he's just running late and I'm overthinking it all.

I've been repeating all the different scenarios in my head and reasons why he could be late.

My nails impatiently tap against the pink plastic spoon they gave me, I feel as though I’ve been here for hours when in reality it has only been around twenty minutes.

Why can’t he just call me or even text me if he’s running late?

That's when I see my phone light up on the table. I quickly pick it up and I'm met with his contact name.

As I read the message he sent me I could physically feel my heart drop, all of the hope I had was crushed within a second

“I can't make it.”

What the fuck? No sorry? No explanation? Nothing.

I can't believe he could treat me with such disrespect.

I feel like such an idiot…

I sigh in defeat, I place my phone down on the table and dive straight back into my ice cream to distract myself from the current heartbreak I'm feeling.

As I scraped some ice cream from the bottom of the tub, I noticed that the chair in front of me had just pulled back and someone had taken a seat on it.

“Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking, but I couldn't help but notice that something seems to be bothering you. Is everything okay?”

what? I lift my head and I'm met with the sight of a stranger.

But he's not really a stranger, It appears to be Matt Sturniolo.

Although I have seen Matt at school and around the small town that we live in, we don't necessarily run in the same social group.

I sigh as I sit up straight and put down my now-empty ice cream tub.

“I'm fine, really. Don't worry about it.”  

I look back down at the table, silently praying that he goes away but he stays.

“So…you a fan of ice cream?”

His small voice catches me off guard, I’ve never heard him talk with such little confidence.

Every inch of my body screams at me to get up and leave. To ignore the boy sat opposite. To run straight back to my room and rot in bed. Run back to my comfort zone.

But I hear my mother's voice ringing throughout my head.

“Come on, Y/n. You're not going to go anywhere in life if you don't put yourself out there. Just try it once, you might be surprised by what could happen.”

So I swallow every anxious feeling screaming at me to leave.

“Yeah. I mean… who isn't?”

A small smile on my lips. I lift my head to look at him, noticing the corners of his lips curled up slightly.

~~~~

I feel a peaceful smile tug on my lips, the scent of cold crisp air filling my senses.

I've always loved the winter. It has a sense of comfort that has always overwhelmed me.

I feel myself dipping deeper and deeper into a state of tranquillity when suddenly the boy next to me speaks up.

“You never answered my question earlier.”

He peers down at me. I sigh.

“What question?”

I know what question he's talking about. I've been asked the same question for years and I've grown to become annoyed at it as I grow older.

“I asked you, why are you always by yourself? Don't you have any friends?”

I tense up and he notices. He stops walking and grabs my wrist, forcing me to stop in the middle of the pavement.

“I'm sorry…”

I watch as his face contorts into a remorseful expression. His eyebrows knitting together.

“I didn't mean to come off as rude. It's just… I've seen you around school and you're always alone, I'm curious.”

I sigh as I look away from him. This is the last thing I need right now. I don't need someone here pointing out stuff that I already know.

It's frustrating. I tug my wrist out of his grip.

“Why don't you… oh, I don't know… mind your business.”

My tone is filled to the brim with annoyance. The way his face falls causes a twinge of guilt to seep into my heart but I push it down.

“Look, I'm just trying to help.”

He speaks through gritted teeth.

That was my last straw.

Without saying another word, I spin around on my heels and walk in the other direction. Completely ignoring the sound of his voice calling out for me.

So much for trying to make a friend.

(A/N: omg this literally took me weeks to finish 😭 I’ve been having an INSANE and extremely frustrating writers block but she’s done 😋 thank you so so much for reading <333)

Tags: @guccifrog @junnniiieee07

[lotusmi]

my success, my failures

honest post about my current life and thoughts on void 💌

Hi angels, this my most personal post and I don't know why, i felt like posting this. This is going to be an honest long post about my loa journey, void journey and whatever how my life went after I realized I was in control.

At first point I would like to recall: I am not a void state blog, I am not a void "master" (I am not assuming this, In 4d I sure AM!). My blog is more about LOA, the Neville Goddard Law, the Edward Art Law. The simple, beautiful Law that I felt in love with. I like the void state method, I have entered it a few times, I'll be talking on this in a while, first I'll tell my story until here on how I left the worst circumstances...

As I was someone like most of people are, I thought I was not the operant power. I have known the law of attraction for 7 years, and I belived I had to "beg" the "universe" to give me things, I would write letters to the "universe" asking for my desires, then I would try to have "good energy", write down million of affirmations in future tense and then wait in hope to be "deserving" of them.

As time passed by, I yes, had manifested some things with this law of attraction thing, but I never changed my state, my mindset, I did not even knew what was those stuff, I would still let myself imagine bad things happening to me, I felt unwanted, ugly, unlucky, with no freedom. I had also lots of limiting beliefs, had to drink water to subs work, listen to then million times, be deserving, be positive, afirm without saying "no/never" etc.

Things were getting worse, I felt always more unwanted, different, unlucky, inferior, all of that. My life was getting shitty, I would imagine me having fights with my parents, me crying, I would see myself as an victim of the world, and I stopped even trying to have optimism and using law of attraction, i literally gave up. At this point I had lost my faith, so I lived all my days complaining and begging God, universe, deities to "save me". In this phase I suffered like never, I was super depressed, my home was toxic and i mean TOXIC. I was anxious, I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to break free.

So at this point I was in the worst months of my life, I was not allowed to even have friends or use internet for more than 7 months straight. The things they did to me... I am even embarassed to tell about those things. I had to decide on persist or give up. So I said to myself I would do my better to ignore my outer-world and stop letting those things affect me, it was not easy. I would hurt myself and have a lot of anxiety crisis, but I found my peace within, I started living in imagination and seeing in my imagination what I most wanted to have, be. I was being delusional, I did not even knew about all of this LOA thing. I just wanted to escape of my reality.

In less than 2 months everything changed. I was more happier, and I was now allowed to do my things again, talk to friends, have my computer and all of this. I did not knew It was me, I thought it was a miracle.

Life went by, I fell in love, my selfconcept was shit, he dumped me. Still, at that time I did not knew about the law. I did not knew he did that because I assumed. I would imagine that he did not loved me, I would imagine him saying "it is over" at the point I would cry imagining, I felt that real, so I manifested. I was the cause. I did not knew.

After all of this I wanted to love myself and take care of me, I started learning about spiritualy, I learned that I am part of God. That I am God experiencing being human. I walked in love, started healing my trauma, I got a lot of it. In a meditation trying to communicate to my "higher self" I entered the void, blue gray, peaceful, beautiful... So still... I there naturally affirmed "I am calm, happy, love, ethereal". After this day everythin changed and I had no more reasons to be sad, I was healed.

But I was still in love with my ex and I only discovered the law because of it, I searched on how to manifest an ex, yea. It did not worked since of I let old story, circumstances, "false free will" let me down. But I discovered the neville subreddit, then the loatumblr, then the void, WHAT WAS, the void. And got to know I had entered it once, I wanted to do it again. I entered more of 3 times maybe until now, and also got some I AM state experiences. (They not the same to me since i feel emptiness from void and wholenesses from I AM + I AM state is golden and I see myself in other people bodies).

I learned about void with Halokisses, but at that point I thought it was some magical place, months passed by, my void concept got better but I still let circumstances bother me. I was not also doing my best to enter it to be honest. I was manifesting my life to be great even while manifesting entering in the void.

♡ What happened by this last months is that I just realized I love my life now, I love myself, my body, my friends, I have time to me, I have enough money to buy my things, I am free to do a lot of things. I never am bothered by circumstances + senses since I am in control of my states. and this made me feel like I don't even need the void altrough I still am going to enter it again, my void concept is beyond perfect right now that I fully know WHO I AM. At this point I am just so saturated about void that I relaxed about WHEN entering again because I am full convicted that I can do this and that I don't "NEED" it.

What I am trying to say is, circumstances does not matter, and you all don't need the void! You all need yourselves. I also want you to know that I AM not a "void master blog" all of that. I am someone who won the circumstances and manifested things, I am someone in love with Neville that want to help people, I am someone that did some subs for helping other people.

I know how it feels to be in a toxic home, feel ugly, be unwanted, have no friends, no money, be depressed, be anxious. I only told you the last 3 years of my life. I know how the void seems to be the only "way" and all of that. I know how it is like to just have someone to say "I am entering it for you" or wonder "When is my time?", I know how is like to think "you are the only exception" I know the void for about 8 months and I did not gave up. I manifested lots of things even while manifesting entering it. ♡ ALL I did was to change the story I was telling myself, the assumptions I held about me. I understood that 3d reflects 4d and so no matter what, everything is possible.

So please, stop begging me to "enter the void" for you or say "I can't do x so do for me". I am doing ALL I NOW can do to help you, I do posts, I reply asks, I make audios, I assume you all can do it. As soon as I enter the void I am of course affirming for you there. But until now I NEED, no, YOU need to save yourself, because even WITHOUT me, you can do this. YOU ARE THE CREATOR.

You don't have to pass by all that I had passed to realize WHO YOU ARE.

♡ My success story is I myself, I saved me. I am not depressed anymore, I am calm, happy, I am free. I never thought I could love myself this way!

₊and as soon I enter the void again, I will post my success, do more challenges, and I am even thinking of entering for it for you.

I hope this had inspired you and cleared things about me and my blog, I hope we all can help ourselves,

with love, Lotus - because I rised from mud. 💌