#but in a week where i wasn't dealing with a death in the family this would've been a great show to get lost in theories over

[panncakes]

it's not that love for love's sake hasn't made it obvious from the start that it has some very dark elements but BOY is that a fucked up choice to force someone to make

[meanbossart]

Sooo I wasn't sure if it was worth mentioning but this might take over my life for the next week or so - I reside in the south of Brazil where we're currently being struck with catastrophic floods all around the area. I'm safe, my apartment is in an affected area but it's a fourth floor joint so it should be okay, and I'm staying with family with everything that I require to work. I am concerned for possible financial damages and of course, the overall safety of the state and all it's residents. So far we have a death toll of about 90 people with hundreds more disappearances, but it appears that the situation should improve within the week.

Just making this update here so people who message me etc can know why I might be slightly less available, I'm fine, just dealing with the stress of the whole thing.

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 6 - "I can't wait for you."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: T

Warnings: Mentions of blood and injury

Danny stared at the stars above his head, sitting on top of Fenton Works. Even after a week his arm still tingled with phantom pains from his accident. In his left hand was a dagger he hadn't looked at in years now. Was it 6 or 7 years? Danny couldn't really remember. He had been too young when he had made his first decision for himself only.

The fingertips of his right hand traced imaginary patterns over the blade as his eyes searched out different constellations in the night sky. 7 years ago, he would have never imagined for himself a future where he was allowed to follow his own dreams. A week ago he had talked about his dream of becoming an astronaut, exploring the vast space that existed just outside of their own stratosphere.

Now after that the lab accident he had he felt like another dream had gotten shattered by the wheels of fate. It wasn't even his past life from before the Fentons that shattered these dreams, in the way he had feared in the first couple of years after coming to live with them. It where times like these when he would dug out the dagger to take it with him to see the stars.

His eyes turned from the stars to the blade in his hand.

It was a special blade his biological mother had ordered when she learned about having twins. The blade itself was only one half. The flat surface of the handle and the blade on one side while the other appeared like a high quality blade and greatly decorated handle, spoke of the missing part. His dagger was only half of a dagger, the other half was with his twin.

This was the only thing he had taken with him when he had left at the tender age of 5 or was it six? His memory was blurry and back then celebrating your birthday wasn't as big of a deal as it was in the life he had gained with Fentons.

At times Danny wondered why he had been the only one to see it. His twin had gone through the same teachings, the same lessons, the same training, the same mission. Yet Danny had been the only one who saw the way their grandfather really was. The manipulation, the gaslighting, the brainwashing. Danny had seen it all and realized it pretty soon and when he had talked with his twin about it?

He had hit a wall. Grandfather knows what he's doing. Stop imagining things, Danyal.

"I can't wait for you. Damian, if you can't see what I do, then I can no longer stay here and wait."

These were the last words he had said to his twin after another argument about their grandfather gaslighting them about a mission result. It was right there and then that Danny decided he needed to leave and that he did.

Somehow, as a five years old he had managed to get all the way to America before they found him again. And when he refused to come back they, his grandfather's mans, attacked without remorse. After all it was better to get rid of loose ends than to let them frail your masterpiece.

But ending up near death in the middle of a forest where the Fentons happen to be camping was his luck back then. They probably thought that he wouldn't make it, that Danny wouldn't have the will to continue barely breathing in his own pool of blood but Danny proved them wrong. He did have the will and he had continued crawling until Jazz had found him.

That was how his life had changed the first time. The Fentons took him in, allowed him to dream and to build a future and family of his own. Now this lap accident was making changes to his life again and Danny couldn't help but think back to his previous life. "I wonder if Damian finally saw what I did or if he still is under grandfather's influence…"

Months later Danny was introduced to an apparent family friend of his parents. One Danny felt was too much of a fruitloop and gave him concerning flashbacks to his grandfather but was still easier to deal with. But following all the incidence of conflicts with the fruitloop was also a moment to which said fruitloop somehow convinced his parents to let him drag Danny to a Gala.

Danny hadn't paid any attention to the guests of this gala, no he had taken the first chance he got to escape the way Sam had advised him before to do, and fled to a balcony. Breathing in the clear night air Danny loosened the tie he was made to wear. He did not notice the soft click of the balcony door behind him.

"Danyal." Danny whirled around and pulled out a hidden blade he kept on his person more out of habit than anything else. He hadn't heard his name spoken like that in years, even the fruitloop and a more American dialect when it came to saying his name.

He froze at the mirror image with green eyes that stood before him. That couldn't be could it?

"Damian?" The other teen nodded and Danny only relaxed his stance ever so slightly. His shoulders were still tense and he was still ready to spring into action or use his ghost powers to escape if needed.

Neither of them spoke a word as they took in each other's appearance and Danny hid a small chuckle as his twin clicked his tongue at his defensive stance, crossing his arms.

"I see, you still have that half of a dagger mother had made for us."

"The only thing I took with me when I left."

His twin clicked his tongue once more before reaching into a hidden pocket and pulling out the other half of that dagger. Showing that he also had kept his half of it throughout all these years.

"There is no longer a need for you to wait, Danyal."

Danny blinked and completely dropped his defensive stance, hearing the unspoken words. He let a small smile tuck his lips upwards. It appears that there was a lot he had to catch up on with his twin.

"I never waited to begin with Damian. I ghosted you right after." He chuckled lightly, knowing his brother wouldn't understand until later.

"Don't lie, Danyal. You took your half of the dagger with you." His brother frowned before smirking at him. "You said you couldn't wait anymore but taking it with you was clearly telling me that you would still do so anyway."

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

A terrorist in the PIJ (Palestinian Islamic Jihad) has admitted in his interrogation that they practiced for the Oct 7 massacre on Iranian soil. This is important to remember, that it wasn't just Hamas that committed the vicious attack on Israelis during that day, that the Islamist regime in Iran's involvement was crucial to what happened, and that Gaza was NEVER "an open air prison" as the anti-Israel crowd claimed. The above link has the vid quoted here.

Yesterday, Golani infantry's division 36 has left a section in northern Gaza, as a part of lowering the intensity of the fighting there. A short while later, no less than 50 rockets were fired from exactly that area into southern Israel. Yoram Bitan's shop in the southern town of Netivot took a direct hit from a rocket while he and his son were still inside (pic is from this vid, where the start also shows the barrages of rockets over Netivot). They're both thankfully okay, the building absorbed most of the impact.

Just this morning, at least 25 more rockets were fired from that area of Gaza into Israel, before IDF soldiers managed to find and destroy some of the rocket launchers that were used in these attacks (see pic with just one barrage of intercepted rockets over Israel on the horizon, Hebrew source). If Israel can't lower the intensity of the fighting, that's absolutely also because of Hamas' continued choices. Israeli civilians from the south are currently protesting against the possibility that Israel will stop the war before the complete removal of the threat of rockets being fired from Gaza.

The IDF has confirmed yesterday that it has eliminated more than 150 Hezbollah squads since the start of the war.

I got to watch an interview with Shirley (not necessarily her real name), who was a prison guard where Palestinian terrorists were held. She was sexually harassed by a terrorist called Muhammad Atallah for 2 years. Towards the end of her service at this prison, he told her that her life is being threatened by Amjad Awad, a Palestinian terrorist, who murdered the Fogel family when he was 18 years old, together with his relative, 17 years old Hakim Awad. These are 35 years old Ruti, 36 years old Udi, 11 years old Yoav, 4 years old Elad and 3 months (!) old Hadas in Mar 2011. Amjad and Hakim were actually on their way out of the house, when they heard baby Hadas crying in her crib, returned and murdered her (Hebrew source).

You can hopefully understand why Shirley was terrified when she heard Awad wanted to kill her, and Atallah claimed he could keep her safe, using this to try and rape her in a spot between two gates in the prison where there are no cameras. She fought back and saved herself. Atallah, who is imprisoned for attempted murder and murder as part of his terrorist activity, was put on trial back in 2022 for sexual harassment of Shirley and attempted rape, as well as for raping another female prison guard.

But in the interview I listened to yesterday, Shirley talked about how horrified she is over the possibility that Awad and Atallah might be freed in a hostage deal, where Hamas will demand terrorists with "blood on their hands" be released.

Last night, the IDF presented the findings of an investigation into the cause of death of 3 hostages, whose bodies were retrieved from Gaza. The autopsy determined that they were NOT killed by direct IDF or terrorists fire, but the bodies are in such a state, that it's impossible to determine what did kill them.

These are Michal and her husband Alex Lubnov.

Alex worked as a bartender at the Nova music festival on Oct 7. He was kidnapped to Gaza. Michal is seven months pregnant. This week, she visited the site from which Alex was kidnapped for the first time. She's waiting for her husband to be freed, and be with her at the delivery room.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[starry-bi-sky]

Thinking about Rath and how other ghosts react to him. Unlike Dan, who's ruthless and cruel, tormenting the other ghosts for no other reason than he could, Rath just wants his family back; and he HATES that you aren't his family. Do other ghosts realize that Rath is in a Banshee Grief Spiral? Do they care with how powerful he ends up being? How does CFAU!Danny deal with Rath? Because unlike Dan, Rath wouldn't travel back in time to bring about his own future. If anything, he'd go back to PROTECT his loved ones.

Also I loved your tags going into how Danny doesn't blame Bruce for his friends death, and why he's going to kill the Joker personally. It was a great read.

its hard not to tell that Rath is going through a Banshee Grief Spiral asdfjh. Any ghost who sees him can take one look and go: oh yeah, that kid is going THROUGH it. And then they beeline the other way because Banshees can be vicious when they're Going Through The Horrors, because their perception of reality and the world around them gets warped by their grief. And the thing with the CFAU brand of Banshees is that they do eventually learn how to get themselves out of their own Spirals. It's something they learn how to do over time and (somewhat) naturally, as well as make bonds with other ghosts who can also help them get out of those Spirals if the banshee themself cannot for some reason or another.

Basically they build up their own support system and learn how to regulate their grief so it's not consuming them. Rath had that support system... in Sam, Tucker, Jazz, and his parents (albeit they didn't know he was a banshee). And finding Jason again helped soothe some of that grief -- not all of it, mind you, but it made it a little more manageable.

...And then it all got ripped away from him in the span of a week. 😬 yikes. Rath was going through a Spiral while he was with Vlad, and was desperately (and somewhat failing) to manage it all on his own. Vlad could've become a part of his new support system,... but didn't. He wasn't helping Danny with his grief. And the whole "ripping out his ghost half thing" only made it worse, and was a tipping point for poor Rath.

Another thing about CFAU Banshees is that human-born banshees tend to already be pretty... rare all on their own. Most Banshees are formed in the Zone, by the Zone, from the Zone. They're pre-programmed to learn how to handle that all-consuming grief and sorrow because it's something they're born with. Like someone born with chronic pain. Human-born banshees have to adjust, and it can be pretty... maddening all on its own. Which is where the support system can help a lot.

Where was I going with this beyond just info-dumping about CFAU Banshees? Ah, right. Absolutely the other ghosts care about Rath being in a grief spiral considering how powerful he is. But there's very little they can actually do about it, other than be relieved that he's left the Zone (he left when he couldn't find his family), and was out terrorizing the living realm instead. It's difficult to get close to Rath even if you're a ghost, and he's not going to listen to anything they say regardless.

They'd be very terrified of Danny until they realize that he's not Rath -- and they'd be able to tell pretty quickly after the initial terror passes. Phantom looks like,,, well; Phantom. Rath looks like a cross from Danny's childhood in Gotham (oversized, ragged clothes hanging off a small, malnourished child) and Sadako Yamamura from The Ring (uneasy, shambling presence, face mostly covered by his hair.) Rath's Future is an Apocalypse much like how The Quiet Place is an Apocalypse. Very quiet.

And I haven't quite figured out how CFAU!Danny deals with Rath, although you are right in that Rath would try and prevent his future and protect his loved ones. ...If he was lucid.

The version of Rath that Danny meets has very little grasp on reality due to years of unchecked grief. I'm not even sure myself if Rath would be able to recognize Sam and Tucker and his family. Any living versions he may come across are either hallucinations or, even worse, imposters. And he'll attempt to attack either for their deception.

And even if he could recognize his family as alive and as him being in the past, he's still so mentally unstable that Rath would lash out at anyone if he perceived a threat against his family, or if he believed they were putting themselves in danger. He'd be very possessive and controlling, preventing them from going anywhere that wasn't under his careful watch. Anyone trying to get them away from him, he'd attack without mercy.

Ultimately, Danny would need to quickly stun Rath long enough to trap him in the thermos, before he can do any more damage. Only then can Rath's healing actually begin.

Also ty! I'm glad you liked my tags about Danny's feelings about Bruce and his motives behind killing the Joker. I thought it'd be a fun compare-contrast between Jason and Danny, as well as a good signifier for how much has changed between them both in the last five years.

[myfandomrealitea]

“Proshippers are dangerous to children!”

Me, reading “immoral” books since age 11, 16 now, yet to have killed, raped, or tortured anyone:

Children are not put in danger simply by exposure to specific things. In fact, for many things, the sooner we learn them the better. I know a lot of people are going to interpret this in bad faith and the worst possible way, but;

Children actually need to be exposed to things in order to actually understand them and properly learn about them in a safe manner that will set the groundwork for the rest of their life.

I'll use an example that has absolutely nothing to do with sex or anything 'proship.'

The good old 'the dog went to live on a farm' analogy. When I was younger and my pets died my parents always told me that my pets had gone to live with other families who needed hem more. That pets were like Nanny McPhee; they went where they were needed.

This devastated me.

I spent years wondering what I'd done wrong. Why I wasn't good enough. Why my beloved pets had decided I didn't need or love them anymore. Where had they gone? Why had they gone? Did they love their new families more than me?

Literal years spent plagued with torment until I hit a new school year and we learned properly about death in biology. Then I spent weeks feeling betrayed, ridiculed and stupid because my pets hadn't abandoned me for a more deserving family. They'd up and died.

And death is sad, yes. I would've been sad for weeks. Months, maybe. I'd miss them forever. But I understood death. I would've understood and accepted death far quicker than I did the notion that the pets I loved so much had simply up and decided to fuck off one day.

If my parents had been honest with me they could've used my pets' deaths as opportunities for literally so many things. How to understand and deal with grief. How to understand and accept death. How to mourn. How to reminisce. How to manage and process and understand and accept my emotions. How to ask for comfort and self-soothe.

Instead all they taught me was that they thought I was too stupid to understand things and that I could've trust a word they said anymore.

Honestly the overbearing safety net we trap children in only robs them of opportunities to be healthy, functioning, developed adults. Children do not need to be sheltered from the entire world until we suddenly drop-kick them into it at 16 or 18.

I'm not saying we need to start hounding eight year olds about pornography and fictional shipping. But what we do need to do is safely introduce them to the world they live in and give them the tools needed to live in it.

[asnowdriftsomewhere]

Daylight pt 7

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Cassian x f!reader

AN: Sorry this took so long! I was working on other writing projects, and this was put to the back burner, but i hope you still enjoy it!

Also, if you like this, i am writing an OC/Helion/Azriel story over on Ao3 called A Court of Myth and Rain :) Go check it out!

Summary: The fall out from dinner

Warning: talk of illness and death

Word count: 1336

“What the hell was that?” Cassian hissed at Mor while she pretended not to see him and continued idly drinking from her glass of wine; as if she hadn't just pulled a truth from you that had shaken him to his core.

“Y/N is in the garden with Elaine and Feyre is putting Nyx to bed,” Rhysand slipped his hands into his pockets as he entered his office where Cassian had all but dragged Mor after she released you from her power. It had terrified him to realize what she was doing to you. How even after he'd told her to stay out of it, she'd still taken it upon herself to force you to tell everyone things you clearly weren't ready to talk about. Even more than that, it absolutely broke him how you simply shut down once she let you go. How your eyes went vacant and your face remained blank. Every tear that slid down your cheek was like a knife to his gut, and he planned to make the female in front of him answer for everyone.

“I did you a favor,” Mor kept her face impassive as she finished her glass. “Now you know what she was hiding. You said it was bothering you.”

“I said she wasn't a problem,” he crossed his arms over his chest. “I told you to leave it alone.”

“You said there was something off about her,” she pointed out with an arched brow. “I've never known your instincts to be wrong, so I decided to get to the bottom of it.”

“The problem Mor,” Rhysand stepped in as Cassian released a growl of frustration, “is that Y/N is not a threat, she never has been and your use of your power to force her to reveal her private information is more than just a betrayal of Helion as our ally. You violated her.”

“I protected this family,” she seethed at him, “Something you seem incapable of doing lately. I will not apologize for making sure she wasn't going to slit Cassian's throat in his sleep. Or destroy the library with all the Priestesses still in it. You just let her into our home, Rhysand. A stranger who could destroy everything-”

“This is about Keir?” Cassian demanded, cutting her off. “Seriously, Mor? You did that to an innocent female because Rhys made a deal with your father?”

“He has nothing to do with it,” she growled as the glass in her hand shattered to pieces.

“Regardless,” Rhysand's lips were a tight line as he looked at his cousin. “Y/N has been a trusted advisor for Helion and his father before him for more than three hundred years. I've been aware of her existence since before Under the Mountain, even though I'd never met her before a few weeks ago.”

That made Mor pause, her eyes softening just a touch, “You have?”

“I have,” he confirmed, his voice hard and expression tense. He simultaneously looked guilty that Mor was still so angry at him and equally furious that she used her gifts on you. Forced you to tell a truth you did not want to share. Not yet.

Mor's frown shifted into a look of regret, “I didn't know.”

“No, you didn't,” Rhysand sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Where do we go from here?”

“I have to talk to Y/N,” Cassian crossed his arms over his chest. His wings tucked in tight as he looked at his High Lord.

Rhys nodded, “Make sure she's okay and if she's not,” violet eyes flicked towards Morrigan and back again “get her whatever she needs.”

“Handle this, Rhys,” Cassian's tone was low, a warning.

“Take care of her, Cassian.” There was no warmth in his brother's voice. The voice of the High Lord.

Without another word, the Illyrian turned and left the room. The moment he was alone in the too quiet hall, he felt the world slip out from under him. She was sick. Y/N was sick. And she didn't know if it was worth it to try and fight her disease or if she should just let it kill her. He didn't know how to process it. How to comprehend it. The fae did not get sick like humans did. Succumbing to seasonal viruses or a chill that sets into their bones. Fae illnesses were lethal, nearly every time.

Y/N was sick. It was nearly a guarantee that she would die, and Cassian could do nothing to stop it - to save her.

He didn't know why the news gutted him as it did. He didn't know why he felt like he was falling without beginning or end and that cruel darkness was swallowing him whole. He didn't know when this mystery female made of sunbeams and a gentle breeze had become whatever she was to him. He didn't know when she had shifted from a mere curiosity to something integral.

Elaine appeared before him. Brown gold curls and fawn colored eyes filled his vision as she placed a soft hand on his cheek and wiped away a stray tear that had trickled down his face.

“Pull yourself together,” she ordered, her voice sounding nothing like the gentle female he’d come to know. It was enough to startle him from the spiral his thoughts had taken him in. He blinked at her, and she held his gaze. “She has enough to deal with. Don't make your emotions her problem.”

Cassian nodded, and she dropped her hand as he wiped his eyes clear of tears. Once he'd regained his composure, he looked to the middle Archeron sister who studied him closely before seeming satisfied. She handed him a hot mug of tea and gestured towards the doors that led to the garden still blooming thanks to her careful dedication.

Taking one more calming breath, Cassian pushed open the doors to where you were sitting in a lowback chair. Your eyes were wide and clear as you watched the stars twinkle. Your hands were clasped together in your lap, and your head was tipped back as the lights seemed to dance and shine for you even as you sat so still below them. Your skin glowed faintly in the dark, a flicker of gold that had the flowers around you leaning in as if to drink in the daylight you brought with you wherever you went.

Cassian went still to see you there. An angel with broken wings. Fallen star longing for home.

“Are you going to stand there, General, or are you going to join me?” Your voice was low and breathy, as if you were exasperated by him, and he felt something sink in his chest.

“I brought you tea,” he answered you slowly as he set the mug in your hands and sat down in the seat beside you.

“Thank you,” you whispered. Your voice was still as brittle and broken as it had been when Mor had pulled the truth from you against your will. You didn't blame the female. You understood why she did it. If someone was a threat to the people you loved, you would burn the world down before you let a hair on their head be harmed. That didn't mean you were okay with it. You felt betrayed and violated, and it would be a long time before you could face the female that had done this to you.

“Y/N…” Cassian started but trailed off as his gaze met yours. His eyes were so sad, so unsure as he tipped his head to the side and searched for something to say. Anything to fill the silence.

You sighed deeply and turned back towards the sky. “Look at the stars, General.” You let the ghost of a smile pull at the corners of your lips as you spoke, “Look how they shine.”

Cassian obeyed. Turning his head to the night sky that enveloped you, he looked up, and together, you watched the stars shine.

Part 8

[berryz-writes]

To Have And To Hold...Till Death Do Us Part

Azriel x reader

Summary: Azriel has spent decades centuries on trying to find his mate. A mate is supposed to be that one constant person in you're life. But as we all know Azriel was damned to an unlucky fate

Note: FIRST TIME WRITING ANGST be nice<3. also yes i will be reverting to fluff again. its my little cosy corner :)

The dry, bland taste of the oats coated Azriel's tongue and he fought to swallow it down. A fight similar to his will to get out of bed every morning. Also similar to the fight of carrying on each day.

Mindlessly stirring his food which had now gotten cold he thought about what he would do for Star fall next week. Maybe he would get drunk so he wouldn't remember the night. Or maybe he would go up to the balcony to get the "best view" but in fact sulk in a corner because he didn't have a special someone to share the night with.

Pulling himself back to reality and berating himself for being ungrateful and forgetting about how much his family had done for him, Azriel watched one of his shadows depart and slowly move across the table until it had reached the open French doors. He tried calling it back but to no avail. Taking a deep breath Azriel continued eating, his shadows were always up to something. Maybe it was bringing back important information. Like maybe who his mate was.

His heart became heavy again at the thought. Still no mate. Azriel had seen so many things, lived through so much and sometimes he thought he deserved a mate. Sometimes when he wasn't so absorbed in self hate he thought to himself maybe he did deserve a mate like Rhys had Feyre or Cassian had Nesta. The thought left him as soon as it had appeared. He shook his head, he didn't deserve a mate. He would ruin her. He wasn't good enough. No where near good enough.

Scoffing at himself for even going down the path of thinking he out of all people could have a mate, he carried on eating his oats, finishing them in record time to get to training with the Valkyries and the priestesses.

***

"Isn't that your shadow?" Nesta asked pointing toward a lone shadow which was making it's way back in to the house, moving across the training ring floor and the edges of the walls before it disappeared completely. She was laying down on the mat, sweat dripping down her face. It had been an intense training session, Nesta having started to channel her anger into physical exercise resulted in Azriel having to hold the punching pads tighter than usual. He was happy for her. Glad she was better now and getting used to her fae body.

"It is" Azriel replied, his confusion increasing slightly. They were acting extremely strange. And the one that had left this morning still hadn't come back. Not to mention the shadows still with him were dancing around as if they were waiting for something. He shrugged it off. It was probably a new bakery or some drama from Velaris they had picked up on. Nosy pricks.

Nesta's silver eyes held concern, "Are you okay?" She bit her lip there was something like recognition in her eyes, as if she once held the same vacant stare that he did. "Are they usually like this?" Nesta questioned again, sitting up and trying to read his expression. He shook his head, flipping his water flask upside down to realise it was empty "They'll come back eventually"

She stood up and brushed her clothes down "You could get it checked. I heard Madja's working late today"

Azriel tried not to get angry. It wasn't as if she would know how it was basically impossible for any healer to ever help him.

"We'll see" He replied instead, already brushing the idea away. All he'd get was an afternoon wasted and a whole lot of poking at his back and wings. It wasn't that big of a deal. Well...that's what he hoped.

***

Flipping the dagger in his hand he began to sharpen the other side, making sure it was as sharp as possible so it would make a clean cut. He didn't need more blood on his hands. Well more than usual anyway. Looking to his right he saw Cassian stretching out his wings and yawning "I'm off to bed. Don't stay up past your bedtime" He grinned. Azriel shook his head a smile on his face even though the joke wasn't funny.

"I won't" Azriel lied. Cassian looked at him for longer than usual as if trying to figure something out. Of course he didn't. Azriel's secrets were too well hidden.

"I'm here if you ever need to talk" Cassian said resting a hand on his shoulder. Azriel gave him a rare smile and patted his hand "I know brother"

Leaving him to sit peacefully on the roof Azriel looked up at the sky. Automatically his eyes searched for the one star constellation he loved. Lyra it's name was. His mother had pointed it out to him when he was young. Said it was one of the constellations that would never leave him. Sometimes it felt like this constellation was the only stable thing in his life. Something that would never leave him and so far it was living up to it's reputation.

***

All fucking night his shadows had been restless, moving about and not letting him get one minute of sleep. Yes he ran on 4 hours of sleep perfectly fine but his shadows didn't even let him close his eyes for one minute without being irritating. Not to mention his shadows from previously hadn't come back. What the fuck was their problem?

Finally giving up he went down to the kitchen, drank a glass of water and stomped upstairs on to the balcony. His shadows were still making incessant noises and moving around too much for this early in the morning. Azriel walked over to the edge of the roof, standing on the edge and freefell down down down.

The air hit him at the perfect angle and gods did he wish he could keep falling. If he hadn't opened his wings at the right time he would have died but who really cared? It was just him after all.

He flew over Velaris, the sun barely visible resulting in a still and quieter city at this time. Not to mention it was Saturday, most of the fae probably nursing their hangovers right now. He veered left toward the Sidra, going past Feyre's bright and cosy artists corner, following his shadow at a leisurely pace as it stopped in front of what seemed to be a row of houses. They were bright and colourful, pale pinks and bright blue's, pleasing to look at. Settling on the roof of a house opposite them he watched the sun rise, his shadows finally calm. It felt like his heart was calm too.

A few minutes of sitting led to one of the rooftop doors opening and......and Azriel couldn't describe what and who stepped out.

She was a goddess.

She was the fulfilment of his dreams.

She was the most ethereal fae he had seen.

She was...gods words couldn't describe her never ending beauty. Moving toward her flowers towards the right of the roof she began to water them, her soft brown hair falling forward and covering her face slightly. His heart hurt. He didn't know why.

He could stare at her for an eternity. Her green eyes sparkled in the sunlight, her pink lips looked like they could say the sweetest words. Like they could soothe any pain he had from one whisper of her sweet voice. He swallowed.

He wanted to talk to her. Enjoy her company. Make her smile. Make her laugh. Watch as her eyes brightened because of him.

He could change. For her he could, he thought to himself as she stood up from watering the roses and looked at the sun rise too.

Her cheeks held a slight blush, hair dishevelled as though she had just gotten out of bed. Azriel was cataloguing each and every thing about her, storing it into his memory to cherish.

Clenching his fists and readying himself, memorising what he would say to this oh so gorgeous female he extended his wings.

Softly landing behind her, he felt like his tongue was twisted. Her hair fell in waves down her back, her arms wrapped around herself.

Taking a deep breath he cleared his throat. She whipped round and it felt like time stopped.

Her hand rested on her chest and her eyes were wide with surprise. Beautiful. That was all that went through his mind as he drank her in, looking at each and every perfect feature.

"Who are you?" His heart felt like it would burst from happiness. Her voice was music to his ears. She had straightened up slightly, her shocked expression gone as she patiently waited for Azriel to speak. He didn't want to. What if he messed it up?

"Azriel. Sorry I....I didn't mean to invade your privacy I-" He cleared his throat cursing under his breath for his stupid twisted tongue. Her lips turned up in a small smile as if she was encouraging him, waiting for him to finish. Like she actually cared for what he had to say.

"I just saw you watching the sunset- not that I was watching you...I meant I just saw you here-" A small laugh escaped her as she watched him struggle. He knew one thing. It was that his heart was no longer his. It was hers. His soul belonged to her. His broken and bloody soul was hers however much it had gone through.

Falling in love was impossible he used to think but looking at her now, he thought it possible.

He was so busy in trying to memorise her face he didn't realise his shadows from earlier swirling around her wrists and waist as if they had found their home.

"It's alright. Lets watch the sunset together, the view's gorgeous from here" Her soft voice beckoned him closer and as she turned back around her arm knocked one of the vases. She turned around trying to grab it and in that split second, she fell.

Over the roof and down to where Azriel couldn't see her.

His heart raced as he ran to the edge and jumped down onto the concrete floor, using his wings to slow his descent.

He had heard the sickening thud when she had fallen but he refused to believe it.

He watched as her lifeless body lay there.

Still.

The life in her completely gone. Silence rang in his ears, his throat closed up, he wanted to rip out his heart. Why?

Why?

Why?

Why was all he could think about it as he looked at her broken form. Blood pooled from her head, a puddle of deep red gathering around her hair. His shadows swarming around her, frantically trying to do something.

Maybe if he weren't so useless. Maybe if he had any dignity or shame he wouldn't have stared on and could have helped her. It felt like his voice was lost.

He looked at her dead eyes and when he did it snapped. The golden thread sparkling between the two of them, connecting them, before dying out again. The moment of completeness vanished in a split second.

Mate.

She was his mate.

He let out a tortured scream, his own voice ringing in his ears. His legs weakened as he dropped to the ground next to her, his energy depleted.

Tears slipped down his face and for the first time he didn't wipe them away. Didn't berate himself for crying because this....this was a tragedy everyone should have cried over. But instead it was only him watching her once smiling face lay face down on the concrete.

Why was it him? He hadn't even gotten to see her smile properly because of him. Hadn't been able to hear her speak completely. Hadn't heard the sweet words she was sure to voice if he ever got the chance to get to know her. 

His eyes wouldn't leave her body as he choked out sobs, eyes blurry and wanting to look away from her limp body at the same time. His....His mate.

The word left him feeling empty. All he wanted was right in front of him except she was gone. She was dead and it was because of him.

His hands shook, his control slipping away as time passed, slowly reaching for her. He gently touched her hair ever so softly as if maybe she were sleeping and she would wake up. Slowly moving it to the side, he could finally see her beautiful beautiful face. A face which had been removed of all colour and life.

A strangled sound escaped him as he looked on unable to tear his eyes away. His heart fractured into so many pieces he didn't know what he'd do anymore. How could he live without her? Life wasn't worth living without her.

His mate.

Tears made his vision blurry as he tried to memorise her perfect features. She was a poem he would never be able to memorise. She was the dream he was always so far from reaching. She was his except she wasn't. Not anymore. Because she was gone.

He wished he could take her place. Wished he had died after seeing his mate. He would have died happy. Finally would know what true happiness was before dying.

Any alternate way of living his heart didn't know how to. Without her in his life he couldn't search for any reason for continuing on.

Gods he didn't even know her name. At the thought of this his lips pressed together trying to stop the heart wrenching scream he wanted to release. He didn't even know her damn name.

His mate.

His mate who was lying dead in front of him. Looking down at his hands he saw they were shaking, so was his body. He didn't deserve to live. This perfect female in front of him wasn't able to live her life so why should he, a broken and unlovable torturer?

The glint of his dagger beckoned to him. It would be oh so easy to end things now. Stab himself through the heart and lay down, lifeless just like his mate. At least they would die together. Taking out his dagger he looked at. Really looked at it.

The fates had known.

This was why he had sharpened his dagger. For this exact reason.

If his mate didn't deserve to live neither did he. He lifted the dagger, tears streaming down his face, his heart broken in too many places to fix, no one left for him in this world. Looking at his mates face for the last time he pushed the dagger straight into his heart.

Fitting ending he supposed. After all the killing he had done, he had ended his own life. Blood seeped from the stab wound but he didn't care. He tried to touch her face one last time, extending his hand,  but he couldn't. Because he had collapsed onto the cold floor next to her, unable to touch her for the first and last time.

He was damned. His fate was unlucky.

He was a bastard who didn't deserve anything.

Without even realising his shadows had left him too.

"LYRA" A heart wrenching scream echoed in his ears as the blood emptied out his body. That was his mate's name.

Lyra

If he were still alive he would have smiled and cried at the irony of it all but he wasn't. His eyes now stared straight up as his heart no longer pumped blood.

A fae walking past would see it as a tragedy but it was more than that. It was a man who would never get a happily ever after no matter how much he wished for it. It would be a story passed down to generations. A story with no happy ending.

***

If only Azriel had known that he was in fact loved. That he did have people that held him close to their heart

If only he had known.

Rhys who was waiting in his meeting room for their debrief.

Cassian who had set up a game of chess for him and Azriel to play.

Nesta who thought up new techniques for fighting that she would show him the next morning.

Feyre who was painting his portrait in her art studio.

Nyx who was waiting for his favourite uncle to come home so they could fly together.

Little did they know Azriel would never come home again.

....first and last time writing angst :) if u can even call it that

MASTERLIST

[angelsdean]

Also, since I'm divorce arc posting today, what if i said Dean wasn't wrong to say this:

CASTIEL The plan changed, Dean. Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong. DEAN Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

LIKE !!!!! Sure it was harsh and if emotions weren't heightened already and Dean wasn't still dealing with the very recent death of his mother and that grief (anger being a stage of grief!) and ALL the Chuck shit on top of that AND his own complicated feelings re: Jack's death (bc Dean was Not going to kill him, despite Chuck trying to manipulate him into doing that) he probably wouldn't have said that to Cas but like?? he's not really wrong.

You can easily trace a lot of the major season conflicts as a long line of dominoes starting with Cas's s6 betrayal. Leviathans. Purgatory. The tablets. Angels falling. Lucifer getting out of the cage via Cas possession. Etc etc. And most of the time Cas was doing things from a place of good intentions in his POV. Trying to fix things or spare others the burden of doing the hard thing. But still, these plans often backfire for Cas. Going it alone, not letting Dean (+ Sam) in on his plans, it usually does not end well !!!! They are TEAM Free Will for a reason. The show (and Dean) continuously emphasizes the importance of team and family and not going it alone. So, while what Dean says to Cas in this scene is definitely a harsh pill to swallow and not something I think Dean would say to Cas in normal circumstances, he technically isn't wrong. And that's what makes it such a heart-breaking scene.

And even more-so, he's saying this but he still, at his core doesn't want Cas to leave. ("Of course I wanted you to stay.") At the moment he needs space and time to process his grief re: Mary, and all the other stuff going on, but he still wants Cas there and ultimately wants to fix things. ("I'd rather have you." "We can fix this." "I was there where were you." etc etc)

But to fix things they need to address his huge persistent, recurring issue between them: not communicating effectively and Cas continuously leaving, going rogue, and/or deciding for them when to involve Dean.

Dean wants to work together, as a team. Dean wants to be involved. Dean wants Cas to not just up and disappear and "deal with things" on his own like he always does. Cas, in his own POV, sees his actions as perhaps a form of care. He's protecting! He's taking on the hardships! Also, his hubris, wanting to be the strong protector type. Wanting to be a warrior. Powerful. Securing "wins." And these desires stem from his years as a soldier of Heaven, of equating worth with Results. Not something Dean has put on him or required of him.

But Dean doesn't see Cas's actions the way Cas perceives them. We as the omniscient audience know more about Cas's motivations than Dean does too. Dean often just sees Cas leaving, prioritizing the mission and shutting Dean out. However, I do think it's important to note that Dean is also usually willing to give Cas the benefit of the doubt, defend him, and forgives easily / implicitly.

They both care deeply about each other and don't maliciously mean to press on each other's specific insecurities and traumas but like, Dean is abandonment issues boy. And Cas keeps leaving. Or ignoring his calls when their daily lives are a constant life or death battle because they are literally living in a horror show! Dean is not unreasonable to be worried when he doesn't hear from Cas for days, weeks, months on end. He's not being "clingy" or "demanding." Expecting some base form of communication from the people you care about is normal in any relationship. Cas refusing to communicate in these moments IS a problem between them.

So, when Dean says, "Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?" re: Cas being the "problem" it's harsh yes! But it's pushing them toward addressing this recurring issue (Cas going rogue often = plans backfiring) and the root of that issue which is Cas continuing to leave to do things on his own, change the game-plan without running it by anyone, and keeping others out. This moment is a breaking point. Because Dean, under normal circumstances, is generally one to defend, forgive, and move past Cas's mistakes. Cas himself says it in this very scene: "You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt."

But at this point something needs to give, they need an explosive moment to just bring all these issues to light. It's a rupture.

Yes, Dean might "still blame [Cas] for Mary" but Cas also knows deeply, as he expresses to Jack, that Dean needs time and space to process his emotions. That he feels things more acutely and intensely but that ultimately he usually comes to a place of acceptance / forgiveness / is able to move on.

That's what Dean wants and needs in this moment. He needs space to deal with his feelings and his grief (clearly in the anger stage of it). And he also wants to finally address these issues! But Cas is also struggling himself and in his own mind he's feeding old insecurities. He let Belphegor get under his skin. He thinks he's not needed or wanted anymore. So, he does what he tends to do. Leave.

CASTIEL Well, I don't think there's anything left to say. [Castiel makes to leave.] DEAN Where you going?

Cas decides to leave and Dean immediately asks where are you going? Because even now, feeling how he does, he doesn't want Cas to leave.

What Dean wants is to have a confrontation. He wants to get to the root of their issues. He asks Cas why didn't he just stick to the plan. And emphasizes the concept of WE, of being a team. "We would've figured it out....after. With Rowena." He wants them to stick together, work together. But he's struggling. He's grieving. And still, he wants Cas to stay, of course I wanted you to stay.

And I say it all here in this post but the whole "I left but you didn't stop me" is just, Cas really? From Dean's POV he sees Cas's leaving as a choice Cas makes. He respects his choice and doesn't ask him to stay because he also does not feel he deserves to ask people to stay for him. He is always putting his own wants and desires second to those of others. He thinks, if Cas wants to leave, who is he to stop him?

Anyways, I think too much of divorce arc puts blame on Dean or makes Dean out to be "the bad guy" and "the reason" Cas leaves and the one who needs to "grovel" and apologize / be forgiven. But Cas is not blameless. Cas leaves because Cas leaves. Cas leaves because he chooses to and because he does not want to confront the realities of the situation or his own role in their issues. And after Cas leaves he continues to bury his head in the sand and be avoidant (thee core issue!) while also going out and working a solo case in an effort to secure a "win" and prove to himself that he's still capable of getting things right and not always failing.

And all of this, the complexity, the layers, Cas's stubbornness and flaws, is deeply delicious to me. Cas is not a blameless innocent little baby who got his feelings hurt by "big meanie Dean" in this situation. He is someone who heard a hard truth from someone he cares about and made the choice to leave instead of confronting the issue. And throughout it all, they both still deeply care about each other. It's evident in everything they do. And they want to work it out, but are both at different places and struggling with their own feelings too.

[cas-backwards-tie]

Chapter Four: Desolate Days

Heiress of Gotham

Bruce Wayne x Daughter!Reader

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary: It’s time. The funeral has finally come around. While the expected have shown up, will the unexpected lead to loose threads in your life? It'll certainly raise questions, that's for sure.

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: Funeral, Depression, Threats, Crying, Angst,

Mentions of: Death, Bodies, Trauma,

A/N: While this chapter is angsty, and the next one contains some twists and turns, I promise it'll actually start to become more fun around chapter six once the reader gets settled into her new life!

It wasn't easy, not by any means; a week full of setting up a funeral, at fifteen, for your mother... the only real family you've ever had. Sure, there were close family friends in your life, but they weren't a constant presence, not like her. All that flew out the window when you'd been orphaned, and now, who knows what will become of those relationships. You figure, only time will tell.

As for the actual events, tonight is the viewing, followed by a dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant you guys used to love, and tomorrow morning is the burial. While there'd been lots of talk about who would come and what it would mean to them, and you, the conversation never fully came to any certain conclusion.

You don't know and aren't close with your new siblings, and while from a publicity standpoint it makes sense they should come and show their support, your Father is really the only person who knew your Mother. Even then, how well did he truly know her? The question stands. With all this in mind, you know that Bruce is accompanying you tomorrow, and by extension, Alfred too. That much you're clear on.

Money is a tough subject. Isn't it for everyone? While you weren't rich growing up in Bludhaven, you also weren't in the degree of poverty that some are, either. Nevertheless, funerals you quickly learned, cost a lot of money. You'd think it'd be one thing to bury someone in your backyard (if you had one, that is), or even toss them in the dumpster (not that you'd do that), or even set them afloat on the river and nearest ocean (that either), yet, the government wants their money. That's always what it boils down too, doesn't it? Regardless, Bruce had been suspicious when you brought up paying for the funeral. He offered, and while you'd argued for a good half hour, you'd finally compromised with him.

He wants to pay for the funeral, and you can keep the money you--somehow--have for college. Apparently, he expects you to do that now, as well. Not that college was outside of the question before, but... you still have three years to think about it, don't you? All in all, he let you pick out what you thought your mother would like, which, ultimately sort of became what you'd like... right? Besides the preferences in her will, there was still the matter of some sort of plaque or headstone, obsidian or silver... the works. Trying to keep money in mind, you didn't go crazy, but you did let him deal with it while still trying to give her at least something fairly nice.

It all happened so fast, really. Picking out everything, setting things up, and sending out a message so your family friends would know when and where to show up to pay their respects if they wished to do so. Not many people knew about your recent transfer of guardianship, or rather, to who. And while there had apparently been somewhat of a civil kerfuffle with your mother's best friend in an attempt to waive Bruce of his fatherly duties, Bruce apparently decided to claim custody of you. That's what social services naturally thought was the best fit for you.

"You don't have to go in if you don't want," Dick speaks up from behind you.

Standing outside the doors to the funeral home, you know that all too soon the doors will open up for her viewing and you won't be able to escape. Regardless of how many people show up, you'll be met with stories, jokes, emotions, conversation, and things you're just not ready to handle. Staring at the doors, Damian walks past you, soon followed by Tim as they make their way to the door.

"Sure she does. Maybe not now, but sooner or later you have to," Tim offers you with a sympathetic smile, "otherwise you'll never forgive yourself."

"That's just his regret talking," Jason accuses as he straightens the lapels of his black vest and follows the younger boys. "You do what you want, kid." A pat on the back, he too heads inside, leaving you there, Dick still lingering over your shoulder.

"It's your decision," the Detective reminds you with a sympathetic and encouraging smile before pushing open the doors to the funeral parlor.

Standing there in your short black t-shirt dress, the hem whips in the wind as a storm brews in the distance by the Fawcett-Bludhaven border, eventually destined to head your way, closer to the ocean, no doubt. Though you're adorned by a simple black headband, the accessory doesn't keep your hair from hanging around the frame of your face, eyes glued to the fancy sheen of your church shoes: a pair of black mary-janes. 

"Are you second-guessing?" The gruff voice of your Father emanates from your side and you raise your eyes to meet his face. There's a forlorn and distant look in his eyes as he stares ahead at the double doors leading toward the place you know the two of you will be met with a familiar face.

With a subtle nod, he mirrors your action, a clearing of his throat as he straightens his tie. "I can't say I blame you. Though, I can make you an offer," he proposes. As he turns his head, you're met with knowing blue eyes, a hint of what you swear is mischievousness behind them. "If you ever need to bail, why don't we have some sort of code? A code word, what about that?" He expands, the furrowed brows on your face cluing him onto your thoughtful mentality.

"I have to think about it," you respond quietly, eyes roaming the property. While Bristol is an eclectic part of Gotham for sure, this part of town feels somewhat desolate. The nearest and nicest open-plot cemetery to Bludhaven, it was a compromise on everyone's behalf. Not far enough from Bludhaven to feel unlike home and lack a means of public transportation for those in need, and not one of the buildings in the city that are more mausoleum-like, an option you hadn't wanted to consider. She deserved something better. A rumbling of thunder echoes throughout the landscape, the sky growing dark in the distance; eyes brought to the weather, your mind churns. "What about... 'Blizzard'?" It wasn't totally innocuous, yet it wasn't entirely improbable either.

"It'll definitely be interesting to see how we manage to work that into conversation naturally," Bruce jokes, to which you offer him a quiet chuckle, the inkling of a smile working its way onto the corners of your lips.

"Is that okay?" You ask, unsure if he approves.

"Blizzard it is," the Billionaire agrees, stretching out a hand in a semblance of kinship. With a moment of consideration, it doesn't take long for your hand to meet his in conciliation. With a firm shake, you both turn to enter the parlor side by side.

--------

Hand clutching the prized middle-school graduation gift you'd received from your Mother, a golden chain necklace with a teardrop image of La Virgen on it, you subtly run it back and forth along the chain where it rests on your sternum between your collarbones. Despite uncomfortable conversation and questions, you hadn't needed the code word. The attempt to try and visit your Mother before the service was unfruitful, people having shown up earlier than expected, others wanting to set up and you consequently helping like the obedient little girl you often were. Nevertheless, even now with only family members remaining, you still stand at a distance where only her hands propped up on her waist are visible.

Bruce had gotten by through making conversation, trying to get to know you and your acquaintances through their association and knowledge, though their questions often turned on him. Upon the revelation that you're not only now, but always have been a Wayne dawned on them. The natural questions would tend to follow. 'How well did you know her? Were you close to her?' As much as the Playboy would love to admit he didn't know your Mother on the level it would seem most people assumed, he also knew that sort of answer might tarnish any image of your Mother that these people already had in mind. Hence, he tended to use his usual tactics of evasion in a similar manner to any gala he'd attend.

The boys ended up doing recon in some sense, all in their own versions. Damian had intended to simply find a nice corner to sit in and text Jon about the plans for their next hangout and fill him in on the dreadful activities he's been put up to on the behest of his new 'sister'. If he could even call you that. Tim hadn't been filled in on the situation concerning your little expedition with Jason and what the elder had found during that time, so when Dick naturally seemed curious and a little too snoopy for his taste in concern of the event, it was only upon questioning his brother that he found out about the circumstances.

Dick went into this with the hopes of finding out information on your family, on what you all knew, the type of people you were, and what they knew specifically about you and your Mom. That much cash laying around even with the excuse of not trusting banks, in Bludhaven of all places, was ridiculous. Especially for the job he dug around and found out your Mother had. Therefore, he took to subtly interrogating people under the guise of attempting to get to know his new little sister better. 

Jason had intended to go only on the purpose of supporting you, and watching his family in suspect, considering they've all seemed dubious of your Mother and your family's involvement in some sort of criminal activity. While he'd been curious, watching you, talking to you, he's found that there's probably not much further whatever 'secret' your family is hiding goes. Sometimes people do things they need to do to survive, and if he's heard any stories about your Mother this evening, he'd suspect that's it.

Damian eventually caught wind of Grayson's not-so-subtle tactics of questioning people, and decided his evening would be much more fruitful doing exactly what his brother was doing, only in a more professional manner. After all, once he'd rounded the parlor he'd seen his Father doing the same thing in his own fashion, therefore, he can't be mad at them for doing the same when he's the one who's supposed to be setting the example, right?

Oblivious to your new family's motives, you try and work up the courage to say goodbye to her... to her face. Evading the happy images that filter through wild transitions on television's slideshow to the right, you run a thumb over the memorium card you'd taken. Even if they were for everyone else, you still wanted one. Room practically empty, you finally take the leap and close the space between you and the open casket.

Immediately you have to avert your eyes. It's... too painful. Yet, another curious part of you tempts you to take another look. Upon second glance it simply appears as if she's sleeping. Peacefully. There's no lacerations or marks, no sign of any sort of ill-wrought event, and yet, you know the wiser. "I hate this," you whisper through your teeth, jaw clenching in an attempt to keep your tears at bay. "It's not fair. I don't know why... why it had to be you." With a sniffle and a heavy sigh that bobs your shoulders, you reach out and place a small hand on her larger, and eerily cold hand. "I wish I could ask you, that I could talk to you- that you could tell me why- why you never told me! I don't- I don't want to do this but I know I have to, and he's giving me... all you ever wanted for me. I-" Breath coming quicker, you have to force yourself to speak the next words, determined not to break down in front of everyone. "Te quiero mucho, mamá, te extraño, y vas a recordar para siempre." With a gentle squeeze to her hand, you turn and head for the doors, eyes downcast as you avoid everyone.

--------

Somehow, the universe always reflected its events; while it’d been mostly thunder and heat lightning the night prior, this morning the dark clouds have been pouring rain. Alfred had gotten you up, though really you hadn’t slept much in anticipation of what today would hold. Having been dressed for some time now, all you’ve done is sit at the window seat and stare outside, watching the rain pelt the earth repeatedly, unyielding in its triumph. You can’t help but think it’s like life, forceful until the end, when it eventually wanes and succumbs to a stop. Maybe you’re overthinking, but with everything that’s been going on… you don’t think you can help it.

“Hey,” your Father’s voice calls from the door, a gentle knock on the wood follows as he continues to open it and step through the threshold. “Are you ready? Breakfast is waiting, and then Alfred’s gonna take us,” he informs, “the boys are going to join for breakfast, but then it’ll just be us, alright?” 

Before he can get too far into the room you rise from the window seat and tear your attention away from the gardens. With a nod, you meet him halfway and follow downstairs.

Breakfast is mostly silent, as you’re sure no one is quite certain what to say. If they could say anything, that is. Hell, even Damian doesn't have a snarky remark, and Dick doesn't try and make meaningless conversation. It all comes and goes far faster than you'd imagined, though the food was delicious. With your departure and solemn looks from your newfound siblings, Alfred pulls the Rolls Royce up to a gentle stop before the Manor's fancy double doors.

It was hard to believe she was in there. Yes, you'd picked out the coffin, yes you'd seen her at the viewing, and yet... this is your Mother. The woman who birthed you, who fed you, who took care of you year after year, and was there for you no matter what. And now... she's gone.

It doesn't feel real. The rain pattering against the umbrella Bruce holds up over you. All the people who sit and stand opposite of the priest as he goes about his rites. Of course there came time for the eulogy, and while there was the option of making one yourself, you couldn't find it within yourself to do so. Like Tim had mentioned, this could be something you may regret later, but in this moment it feels like too much. There's a dull queasiness that never leaves your stomach as you stand, eyes cast downward as your hands lay clasped before you. Rain, muck, and mud cling to your black mary-jane shoes, the ground now beginning to flood as the soil's beared all it can soak up for the next coming weeks. 

People come and go, they give their well wishes and hopes for your sake, and yet you can't really put any of it to mind or manner as all you can focus on is the growing emptiness within you. This isn't how things were supposed to go. You weren't supposed to be burying your parent... not this soon. That's not how it works! 

It's the call of your name that stirs you from your thoughts. Eyes raising to the familiar face, you can't help but feel your eyes widen with the shock and astonishment that they had the audacity to visit... to stay. Yes, he wasn't a stranger; yet an acquaintance isn't necessarily a friend. The boy lifts his hands to cup one of yours between his. "I'm so sorry to hear what happened, Mi Amor, I'm always here for you, sabes," Saul says. Though there's a sympathetic look in his eyes, you don't trust him one bit. Not after he'd taken one opportunity after another and gotten trapped up with the man behind him: Antonio 'Angel' Marin. Sure, you'd dumped Saul before he'd become affiliated with the notorious Bludhaven mob boss, but it didn't do him any favors holding company like that. 

As Saul leaves you and heads toward the line of black cars along the cemetery road, you dread the man next in line. "It's an unfortunate thing, losing a mother," Angel speaks, "looks like luck had its way with you though, getting you out." From the outside it might seem inappropriate, or perhaps simply a mistaken and poorly judged comment, but you know better. Lips pursing, jaw tightening, you don't dare let your hands form into fists as you meet the man's eyes. 

His oily face and ratty mustache meet your gaze, and you suddenly feel anger beginning to simmer in your gut. Though you're not sure why. While there'd been a time you may have considered him a family friend, a protector, a genius, and a revolutionary... those times have gone. He hadn't done your family wrong, in fact, he'd done nothing but try to help you and your Mom out of poverty, and yet... there were always strings attached. Neither of you had seen them at first and once you'd wanted out, you'd luckily gotten out without too much of a fight. Thankfully, unlike some of the stories you've heard, and yet, somewhere within you the anger persists. Maybe it's the smug look on his face, his taunting words perhaps, but whatever it is, he irks you.

"Don't go gettin' into any more trouble, ya hear?" His thin voice lets out a wry chuckle and he lays a pat on your shoulder before you can dodge it. Watching him leave with his trail of two or three choice goons behind him, you can't help but feel like he'd only come here for one thing, and one thing only... to taunt you. Was it a warning? A sign? A way of telling you that without his protection you were doomed? Leading a life toward failure? Only to end up like your Mother? No... no, that can't be it. There has to be something else, that can't be it. 

"Do you know him?" Bruce asks, finally speaking up for the first time since the service ended. He'd seen the whole interaction, he knows who that man was... but he doesn't know if you do. Not truly, anyway. Even if the grimace and shiver that'd run up your spine was visible from the way you attempted to evade the evil man's touch. Eyes peering down at you, he's disturbed by the lack of eye contact you make. Maybe he shouldn't be... you haven't been talking or interacting as much as you had been in the days leading up to this, something that's normal, he can only imagine.

"Once," you respond faintly. Eyes coming back to the rolling hills of the cemetery you watch the rain continue to pour. Life doesn't seem to stir here, no sight of sneaky intruders like squirrels, doves, or robins, no other patrons coming to visit their loved ones on a day like this. Thunder cracks overhead, and the diminishing sound of tires on gravel signals the Angel's departure. With a thick swallow, your hands finally ball up into fists. A single tear finally breaches the confines of your eyelid and slips down your cheek. With a heavy sigh you turn, meeting Alfred who stands a few feet behind the both of you. Stomping over to him, you grab the bouquet of flowers you'd all picked up on the way. "If you want to say anything... here," you announce over the sounds of the thunderstorm. Undoing the plastic and rubber bands from the store-bought bouquet, you hand both the men a single flower. Determined that the rest should belong to you, you head over to the grave, uncaring if you get wet any longer as you're no longer under their umbrellas.

Though your teeth hurt from the way your jaw is clenched, you can't help it as the tears start to flow more freely. With everyone gone, you don't mind being here alone. Placing the flowers atop your Mother's casket, your hand lingers on the polished wood while your free hand hangs onto the necklace your Mother had given you. "I can't do this without you," the words come in a whisper, your head almost meeting the wood before you think better of it. You don't want to appear a broken-down mess in front of the men watching. "I don't know what t-to do."

Raindrops soak your hair, coat your dress and shoes, your socks have splashes of water and freshly cut grass, not to mention that your face is covered in a mixture of raindrops and tears. A few moments of silence is all you need before you finally gather the courage to say one last goodbye and turn away, heading down the hill back toward the car before the storm gets worse.

------

"Dick... there's something you should know," Bruce mentions quietly. It's obvious from his behavior that he's upset, that this won't be a long conversation. "Antonio Marin was at her funeral. He came up to her and spoke something cryptic. I asked her about it and she said that she knew him once. I know I asked you all not to dig around, but, this is in your territory and I thought you should know." Evading his son's eye contact, he straightens his tie and sniffs, still clad in his tuxedo from the funeral. "I'll see if I can get any more information out of her, but... I don't want her caught up in this... I don't-" he sighs, finally turning to meet his son's gaze again with a look he's only seen once before, "-I don't want her getting hurt."

"I... understand." With a nod and a sympathetic look upon his face, the younger man stretches out his hand to lay it on his Father's shoulder in a small form of comfort. He knows Bruce well enough to know that anything too grand would steer him away, and while the thought of another child getting hurt at his behest unburies all the trauma Dick knows Jason's death had brought him, Dick knows they can't change the past. "I- we won't let that happen. I promise you that, Dad."

~~~~~~~~

forever taglist: @ohdamnadam , @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo

hog taglist: @luvly-writer , @clairese1980

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter seven: "Here's our chance to make it (make it into something more)"

Summary: Spencer is having issues dealing with Gideon's death, and maybe a close to dead situation is what he needs to come back from his sadness. Raven's first birthday is here!  Warnings: Cursing, rotten fluff and some smut. Dom!reader sub!Spencer for the first time in this story.  Word count: 8.305 words A/N:  We needed something lighter after the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it! 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

(Y/N)'s point of view

There is something Spencer and I have always had trouble with. Dealing with feelings. No surprise it took us over five years to confess our love, or why he hid the fact he had gotten Dilaulid from me after Prentiss died. We have worked on it, year after year, knowing it's our weakness. And we've gotten way better at dealing with our emotions. But when Gideon died, I knew Spencer would be more vulnerable.

I just never imagined he would isolate us so much. 'Till the point where he didn't come home one night. He told me he wanted to review some data for a paper he was working on, and that he would be home around nine. But after ten, he was still nowhere to be found, not answering my texts.

- "Ragazza, I'm sorry to call you so late."- Rossi's voice nearly gave me a heart attack as I picked up the phone, thinking it was Spencer. - "I just thought I'd let you know your husband is still at the BAU, sitting at his desk, staring at a chessboard."

- "Thank you, papa Pasta. Did he say anything?"

- "He tried to convince me he was coming home, but I'm pretty sure the coffee machine was on."- I sighed and closed my eyes, exhausted and terrified at the same time. - "I'm guessing he hasn't processed Gideon's death that well."

- "We've talked about it, but this is harder for him than I can begin to understand. Gideon was like a father to him, more than his own. He was his hero."- I whispered and looked at Raven, asleep in her crib.

- "The kid still has trouble dealing with his emotions, but I'm sure he will be ok soon."

- "Thank you for calling, Rossi."

I drove all the way back to the BAU with my daughter asleep in the backseat. I know I said I was going to let Spencer grieve and go through his process, but I wasn't going to let him alone. Never.

Rossi was right. There he was, sitting at his desk, sipping a cup of coffee, staring at a chessboard. My heart ached to think he was suffering. I walked slowly and tried not to scare him as I stood next to him, and his eyes found me. He felt busted and not a single word came from his lips. So I just smiled at him, carrying our asleep baby in my arms.

- "I brought you dinner"- I whispered and showed him a paper bag. - "Pasta carbonara."

- "Thank you, ma cherie. But I was almost on my way back home."- he lied, probably to calm me down. I just shook my head and fondled his cheek with my hand after I left the food on his desk.

- "It's ok if you have to stay here for another while. I just wanted to make sure you ate something that's not from the vending machine."

Spencer didn't say a word. He stared at me with watered-up eyes and sighed. His hand caressed mine as I kept it on his cheek, and then rubbed Raven's back.

- "I'm... sorry, ma cherié, I didn't mean to worry you."

- "It's ok, Batsy. I just want you to be ok."

- "I will be, I promise."

- "I know."- I leaned over and kissed his forehead as he closed his eyes and sighed.

- "Come on, chipmunk. Let's go home."

- "Are you sure?"

- "Yeah."

I don't know why I thought that'd be enough to bring my husband back to reality with us. But, of course, he still needed more time to finish grieving on his own. Unfortunately, we didn't have much time for him to go through his process at his own pace, because we were a week away from Raven's first birthday and we had a huge party planned. The team was invited, along with Frank, Mikey, Lu, our families, and even Diana was coming from Las Vegas. And I needed my husband to help me prepare everything.

But I wasn't going to push him, I knew that would only make things worse.

The following morning we were called in earlier 'cos there had been a bomb explosion at a coffee house in Indianapolis. Six dead and sixteen wounded. No one had claimed responsibility, but police were sure it was related to a bomb going off at a local school a week earlier. The first thought we all shared was domestic terrorism, along with religious groups. Hotch was worried, so he pushed the plane to be ready earlier and planned to get to Indianapolis in two hours.

On the jet, we reviewed what we knew. It wasn't much, except for the fact the unsub was escalating fast.

- "This is interesting."- Kate pointed out as we all read our case files - "The maintenance worker killed at the school was working late installing a new circuit panel. He wasn't supposed to be there."

- "It's weird how the word Interesting can only mean "this shit is getting worst" when we are at work." - I whispered to my husband, trying to make him smile. And he did chuckle, which was a big achievement, considering he hadn't slept more than an hour the night before, and he had spent the entire night sitting in the living room, staring at a chess board. He totally denied it, but he wasn't fooling me.

- "Reid."- Hotch said, looking at me, but my husband raised his eyes from the paper and started rambling, just on cue.

- "So the unsub may not have intended to kill anyone. And if he canvassed the site beforehand, he would have anticipated the school being empty."

- "Exactly."- Kate whispered as she nodded at Spencer, as JJ continued talking.

- "But with the coffee house, he struck first thing in the morning, when it would be packed."

- "Maximizing collateral damage."- Morgan added, staring at a blank space as he spoke.

- "That doesn't sound good. This unsub is getting too comfortable and cooky way too fast."- I spoke my mind and noticed Rossi nodded at me, so he was probably thinking the same.

- "Successful bombs always have a practice run. Maybe the school was his."- Aaron analyzed as he went through his file case again.

- "But what's his endgame? Most bombers like the attention they get from playing God. They don't go dormant, they strike again."- Morgan pointed out the fact none of us liked about bombers: they don't stop fast enough, not like the other serial killers.

- "Let go with the facts."- I said and looked at the team - "No one's claimed responsibility for either attack. That could point away from a fundamentalist or a fear-driven offender."

- "Maybe it's personal."- JJ suggested.

- "I don't wanna be the one who pissed this guy off."- I added and closed my file.

- "We'll rely on divide and conquer."- Hotch pointed out our course of action. - "Victims, witnesses, and ballistics. See if we can find a pattern so we can prevent a third attack."

I was glad I was paired with my husband that day. Sadly, Hotch sent us to the hospital, to talk with the victims and any potential witnesses. It wasn't any better when a poor injured man told Spencer he was looking for his father. It seemed like life kept slapping him with random situations that could remind him of Gideon, and his loss.

I held his hand as we walked down the hall. Totally unprofessional, I know, but at that point in our relationship I really didn't care if our Unit Chief or anyone had anything to say to that behavior. I wasn't going to stop supporting my husband just because the FBI PDA said so. And less considering our current situation.

- "Reids."- Hotch called us as he walked toward us.

- "He can't find his father."- Spencer started explaining as if he had to excuse himself for talking to people when that was in fact what we were supposed to do.

- "There are a number of people still in surgery."- Hotch replied, trying to calm Spencer down, considering the circumstances.

- "And police are trying to talk to some of the witnesses as well."- I added and took a look around. There were so many injured, they were being kept in the halls of the hospital, 'cos they had run out of room in the ER.

- "Maybe we should consider cognitive interviews." - Spencer suggested, but it was too rushed and I guess he knew it too, but he just wanted to help people.

- "Witness accounts are varied, which is to be expected. When people are more emotionally ready, it'll be a good idea."- Hotch replied and Spencer took another look around, clearly looking for someone.

- "Who are you looking for?"- I asked and caressed his fingers with my thumb.

- "Have you seen the pregnant woman anywhere?"- Spencer seemed worried.

- "Yeah, she's still in the delivery room."- Hotch replied, not even blinking.

- "We should talk to the guy who rescued her."- Spencer suggested and I nodded.

- "Definitely, he may have seen something the others didn't."

- "Allen Archer. He's been treated and released."- Hotch informed us and we nodded. Of course, he already had it all covered.- "JJ and Kate are on their way to his house now. Are you guys gonna be ok on your way to the station? I need to see the M.E."

- "We are fine."- I assured our boss and he just nodded mumbling "Thanks." and walked out of the hospital. I looked at Spencer rushing to the closest nurse and asked about the injured father, but he hadn't made it, and they were about to give him the news. Spencer didn't need to see that, so I held his hand and tried to walk him down the aisle to another room. But he didn't move. He stared from a distance at that man receiving the news his father had died.

- "Come on, Spencer. Let's go."

Spencer's point of view

Dealing with depressing episodes in my life wasn't really something new. And yet I still didn't know what I was doing. You might think I could have some experience, but yet, I couldn't handle my emotions correctly. I knew I was keeping everything inside so as not to hurt my wife and kid, and that by doing that, there was a chance I could be hurting them anyway. I tried to do my work the best way possible, but watching people losing their family, especially that man crying over his dead father, was a slap on the face that brought back all the feelings I didn't know how to deal with.

Rossi tried to talk to me about how I felt. I told him I was just tired and dealing with everything. I even told him a little about all the plans we had for Raven's first birthday, to ease the mood. Maybe I had to focus on those facts as well and start moving on from grief.

- "We got a 911 call!"- Hotch opened the door, suddenly- "I want you and Morgan with Allen Archer. Someone put a bomb in his car. Now!"

All the way to the Archer's, all I could think of was (Y/N)'s goodbye kiss when we left the station. I was glad Morgan had a specialization in explosives because I didn't know what could happen if the bomb squad didn't make it on time to the scene. We literally jumped out of the car as we got there, and tried to move Mrs. Archer and her baby girl as far from the explosive as possible, and then, we analyzed our chances.

- "How the hell did we beat the bomb squad here?"- Morgan was upset, and most of all, he was nervous about the outcome of our situation.

- "I could give you statistics, but I don't think this is the time."- I tried to joke to ease the mood, but Morgan didn't react. - "Are we really gonna do this?"- I asked and he just nodded, looking around in case the bomb squad was in sight. They weren't.

- "Turn your cell phone off."- Morgan commanded and started walking toward the car

- "(Y/N) is gonna kill me."- I whispered to myself.

- "Whipped."- Morgan replied immediately and smiled. He would never miss the chance to tease me, that's a fact.

We reached the car and immediately kneeled next to it, to check the undercarriage. There it was, a homemade bomb.

- "Nitroglycerin."- I whispered and sighed as we stood up to talk with Mr. Archer.

- "No, no, no. Stay back. Stay back! Stay back. I don't want anybody else to get hurt!"- who was, of course, losing it.

- "Stop talking. Just listen. Just listen to me!"- Derek commanded- "We're with the FBI and we're here to help. When you put your foot down, you trigger the arming mechanism. Now, if you move, you could set it off."

- "Where are Brenda and Hannah? Are they ok? I don't want them to die, too."

- "Nobody's gonna die."- Morgan was sure of it, and I had to trust him as well.

- "They're safe. Don't worry. The bomb squad's gonna be here soon."- I added in a softer voice, trying to calm him down.

- "I need you to keep the exact pressure that you have on that brake as you have right now. If you don't, all three of us are gonna die."- so much for calming the poor guy, I thought and widened my eyes.

- "Well, can you do something?"- Mr. Arched asked, and it was a pretty good question, so I looked at Morgan and nodded.

- "Can you?"- Derek didn't reply. Instead, he looked at us and then knelt again to take a good look at what we were dealing with.

- "This thing's homemade, but the framework is familiar."- and to be honest, those were the words I needed to hear- "Yeah. Yeah, I can disarm this. I just need something sharp."

- "I've got a knife in my glove box."- Mr. Archer said and walked to the other side of the vehicle and slowly opened the passenger's door.- "It's underneath the map. Right there."

- "Sir, just sit still. You're doing fine."- Morgan said from underneath the car. - "I'm gonna get you out of here."

I jogged to Derek and knelt by his side as I gave him the knife. But before he started working, he moved and looked at me for a second, and whispered.

- "Hey kid, I think you should back up."

- "Not happening."- I replied as I shook my head and didn't move an inch from his side.

- "You have to be at your baby's birthday party."

- "So do you."- I replied without second guessing what I was doing. There was no way I was leaving him alone. - "What's the next step?"- I grabbed my flashlight and pointed at the bomb, as Morgan moved closer to it to take a better look.

- "Alright, the trick is rendering the pressure sensor inactive without letting the detonator think that it's time to go. The only problem is, this son of a bitch built this thing by himself and he used all the same color wires."

- "Seven wires and you don't know which one to cut? I'm not so crazy about these odds."- I cut Morgan a short smile, trying (again) to ease the mood.

- "It's gotta be one of these two right here."- Morgan pointed them out but didn't decide which one to cut.

- "Guys, you gotta do something quick here, man."- and just on cue, Mr. Archer started panicking. - "My foot is cramping up. I cannot keep my foot on the pedal."

- "Sir, please, please. If you want to stay alive, I need you to keep that foot down and try to sit still, please."- Morgan commanded again. It wasn't a request, it was an order. And so, Archer didn't move. Morgan needed to make a calm decision, and that man wasn't helping.

- "Reid..."- Derek whispered after a few seconds. - "It's probably this wire right here if he stayed true to the original design."

- "Go with your gut."- I murmured and tried to be as reassuring as possible. I closed my eyes as Morgan moved the knife closer to the wire and made a decision. All I had in my mind at that minute was my wife and my baby, and how I didn't want to waste any more seconds of life feeling sad when I could be with them and make them happy instead.

Morgan cut the wire and all I could hear were the sirens approaching. I couldn't even breathe.

- "What? Well?"- Archer asked, and that was when we both let out the breath we were holding and stood up.

- "Sir, you're fine. You can get out of the car."- Morgan said and moved the door for him.

- "Are you serious? You did it? You did it? I'm gonna live?!"- Allen Archer couldn't believe it, he was nearly crying as he moved.

- "Let's get you to your family."- I said and helped him out of the vehicle, only to feel his shaking arms around me in a second, as he hugged me tight.

- "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much."

The bomb squad arrived just in time to receive Morgan's defused mechanism.

- "Rossi was right. The unsub doesn't like sharing attention."- I pointed out as we walked back to our car.

- "So he's decided to eliminate Allen Archer. And now he's graduated to Nitroglycerin."- Morgan added.

- "We should put the Archers in protective custody until further notice."- I grabbed my phone and turned it on as we got into the car.

- "Once the bomb squad's done clearing that house, I want to take another look at that device and see if there's anything else we can learn."- Morgan turned to me and raised an eyebrow.- "Are you calling Hotch?"

- "Hey chipmunk! we are ok, don't worry."

- "Of course, you are not!"- Morgan mumbled and chuckled, shaking his head. I bet he was thinking I was whipped. But I didn't care.

Nothing like a close-to-death situation to put your own life in perspective, I guess. The perks of working at the BAU.

On the way back home, after getting our unsub - who wasn't Allen Archer by the way, he was just a secondary killer who tried to impress his wife and killed seven people in the process, Rossi and I had another talk that helped me. That time I faced my feelings as I stared at my wife sleeping on the other side of the plane. We ended up playing chess, which surprised me because I didn't know Rossi could play. Well, I finished him in five moves, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a good contender. It was refreshing playing with someone else and talking about random things with him.

When we got home that night, Raven was still awake, and I held her tight as I heard her giggling with all the kisses I kept giving her. Frank was babysitting when we got home, which was always nice. He has been a great godfather to Raven, and they have an amazing bond, of which I am not jealous, not at all.

- "I'm glad you are here, guys because we need to go through a few details for Raven's party."- Frank said and smiled at us.

- "Why are you giving us your psycho smile?"- (Y/N) questioned right away.- "It's freaky. It means you are plotting something. I know you."

- "Stop it with the Jedi mental powers."- Frank argued right away.- "I just was wondering if you changed your mind about location. Do you still wanna do it here? Or did you talk with your mom about having the party in her house?"

- "We talked about it."- my wife explained.- "And I think we are gonna do it at my mom's. Why?"- and immediately, Frank's face changed to pure bliss.

- "Great!! That means there is gonna be enough room for the band! We have been rehearsing a few of Raven's favorite tunes, and we wanna play for her."

- "What?"- (Y/N) stared at her friend, trying to process what was going on. I stared at them for a moment and then looked at Raven, who kept her gaze on Frank the entire time he talked.

- "Yes, we have been practicing a lot for this gig! It's the most important show ever! My goddaughter has to have the best and only the best."

There was a deep silence, as me and (Y/N) tried to understand what Frank was telling us. It was the sweetest proposition ever, and honestly, we were moved. (Y/N) moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around her friend.

- "You are gonna rock!"- that was her answer, and Frank's eyes lit up immediately.

- "Thank you, nugget!! You are not gonna regret this!"

- "I know I will!- she joked and punched his arm, playfully.

- "Come on! The lullaby tunes of Slayer we are working on are gonna be a hit at the party!"- the way he said those words made me think he wasn't actually joking.

- "Paco! Keep it family-friendly, ok?"- (Y/N) warned him, half joking, half serious.

- "Sure, sure. So, I'm gonna get going, let me know when you need a babysitter for Birdie."- Frank grabbed his things and kissed Raven's cheeks a million times before even walking to the door.- "I love you, little lady."

- "She loves you too."- I assured him as I started waving at him, making Raven do the same.- "Say bye-bye to Uncle Frank."- our baby daughter mumbled "Bye!" as Frank kept waving at her from the door.

- "See you Saturday, Birdie!"

- "Can you believe we are gonna have a one-year-old baby daughter?"- I asked my wife as she got into bed with me later that night. I put aside the book I was reading and looked at her as she got under the covers and cuddled with me.

- "No, that still sounds like a fairy tale to me."- she whispered and hid her face in my neck. - "I still can't believe we are married."

- "Me neither. You are still way out of my league."- I confessed and my wife giggled against my skin.

- "Shut up, today Einstein's great-granddaughter flirted with you."

- "What are you talking about?"- I was honestly confused as (Y/N) moved and looked into my eyes with a playful smile.

- "Don't play the fool, Morgan told me she was all over you in a crime scene, Doctor Reid."

- "I have no idea what you are talking about!"- I wasn't even lying. Yes, doctor Einstein had been taking a look at Archer's truck, I had seen her, even talked to her for a minute. But that was it.

- "Come on!"- my wife raised an eyebrow and stared into my eyes, trying to find any sign of deceit in them. - "You surely must know the effect you have on women."

- "What effect? She was just the forensic specialist!"- I whispered/yelled, 'cos I didn't want to wake Raven in the other room.

- "She flirted with you! Morgan said it had been awkward."- (Y/N) continued talking, and I wanted to kill Morgan. What was he talking about?

- "That never happened!"

- "You were a bad boy, Spencer."- and the tone of voice my wife used gave me goosebumps immediately.

- "No, I wasn't! I didn't do anything wrong!"- I tried to excuse myself, but she shook her head and ran his hand through my hair, tugging it as she kept staring into my eyes.

- "You've been very naughty, Dr. Reid. You flirted with a girl and never told her you were married."

- "I don't have to tell people I'm married. I wear a ring that screams I'm yours."

I was confused and aroused at the same time by that point of the conversation. My wife was acting so dominant, and the fact she called me by my honorifics wasn't helping. She clearly knew what she was doing to me.

- "Does it?"- (Y/N) whispered and rubbed her lips against my neck. - "Only the ring?"

- "And me, all of me."- I replied and ran my hand up and down her bare arm as she started kissing my neck, leaving little marks on my skin. - "You know I love you too much to even look at another woman, cara mia."

- "Do you? Really?"- she whispered as she bit my skin softly, making me shiver as I closed my eyes, feeling how I melted underneath her touch. - "Do you wanna be a good boy and tell me?"

My brain shut down with those words. Good boy. God! I wanted to be her good boy so badly. So I immediately nodded and felt her leaving a mark on my neck as she bit and sucked on my skin.

- "I love you so much, ma cherie. So much, there is no other woman in the entire world for me but you."

- "Not even Einstein's great-granddaughter?"

- "Not even her, not anyone. Just you."

I felt her move on the bed as she sat on my lap, straddling me. She held my face with both hands and stared into my eyes as I looked at her with pure love and lust.

- "I don't know, Dr. Reid. I'm not sure I believe you."

- "Do you want me to show you?"- I whispered and tried to move to hold her waist, but (Y/N) pushed my hands away from her and grabbed them tight.

- "No. I want to punish you for being a flirt."- her words stopped time. That was the first time my wife had ever said such a thing, and it got me so hard I felt embarrassed. But she was driving me crazy, and she hadn't even started with me yet.

- "P... pu... punish me?"- and I even stuttered, 'cos I was nervous

- "Yes. You need to learn to respect your wife, Dr. Reid."

And as she pronounced those words, she started rubbing herself against my erection, making me moan immediately.

- "God, I'm... I'm so sorry."- I mumbled as I tried to move my hands but hers were tight against them, immobilizing me.

- "You don't get to touch me yet. You haven't earned that right."- she whispered slowly as she kept rubbing her body in the exact spot that drove me insane with lust.

- "Please."- I begged, my voice was a little whimper that could have embarrassed me. But didn't. She had me right where she wanted. I wanted it too.

- "Not until you've learned your lesson."- (Y/N) smirked and removed her hands from my wrist.- "Don't you dare touch me, Dr. Reid. Or you are gonna regret it. Ok?"

- "Yes."

- "Yes what?"- she raised an eyebrow and stared into my eyes, waiting for my answer. I didn't hesitate, I just wanted to please her. So I quickly replied.

- "Yes, ma'am."

- "Good boy."- and just like that I realized I would do anything she'd asked me to do if it meant she'd call me a good boy again.

My wife moved from my lap and pulled down my pajama shorts, never taking her eyes off mine. It took a lot of self-control not to tangle my fingers in her hair as she slowly crawled and kissed the tip of my fully hard cock. I was already dripping for her and the sounds I made with that simple kiss were too embarrassing to recreate. I melted completely underneath every one of her touches.

- "Let me explain to you how this is going to be, Doctor Reid." - my wife held my erection and slowly (painfully slowly may I add) started jerking me off. - "You can't come until I tell you to come. Am I clear?"

- "Yes ma'am."- I answered so quickly I almost interrupted her.

- "Good. Now tell me, Doctor Reid, do you think any other woman could ever make you feel so good?"

- "Nev..."- I couldn't continue talking 'cos I felt the warmth of her mouth capturing my entire member, and the only sound that could come from my mouth was an animalistic groan.

- "Sorry, I didn't get you."- she stopped what she was doing and raised an eyebrow. - "You were saying?"

So that's what my wife was going to do to me: tease me until I'd lose it.

- "No other woman could ever make me feel like you do, ma cherie."- I answered quickly as she started sucking me off one more time and I felt her humming in agreement against my dick.

- "Oh shit"- I mumbled and held the bed sheets tight in a desperate attempt to keep my hands from her body, something that sounded incredibly easy, but ended up being a whole different challenge.

I tried to keep my eyes open as long as I could. I knew I couldn't come, but she was doing all the things she knew I loved, and it was hard not to lose myself in the moment.

- "How badly do you want me?"- (Y/N) asked me and licked the base of my dick. I opened my mouth but just couldn't say a word for a solid few seconds, the sensation was just too good and my brain wasn't working properly. - "Don't make me repeat myself."

- "I want you so much I feel I'm gonna go crazy"- I managed to say, feeling sweat forming on my forehead as I tried my best not to cum.

- "Not enough."- my wife replied and continued sucking me, wrapping her tongue around my dick, playing with it and teasing me in every single way possible.

- "Don't you want to touch me?"- she asked and ran her hand down her breast, toying with her nipples.

- "Please, yes."- I tried to move my hand, but she yanked it away.

- "You can't. At least not yet. Not until you've learned not to flirt with other women."- (Y/N) moved her hands down her body and my eyes followed every move, hypnotized.

- "I don't want anyone else, just you. Only you."

- "You say that... and then you flirt with the forensic."- her fingers reached the edge of her panties and disappeared underneath the fabric. My mouth was watering as I imagined how wet she was, how warm her pussy felt when I entered her. How delicious it tasted when I ate her out.

- "Please, let me show you I just love you. I only want you."- I begged and tried to touch her, but she raised her eyebrow and I immediately stopped. She didn't even have to say a word, just looked at me and I froze. - "I need to feel you, please ma'am. Let me touch you."

- "You haven't earned it yet."- she replied and moved her index finger from her pussy to her lips, licking and sucking it slowly.

- "You are torturing me."- I almost felt like crying, it was so frustrating being so turned on and not being able to come or even touch my wife.

- "Am I?"- she whispered and moved upon my body, like a panther playing with their prey. - "Well, if you are not enjoying this..."- she made an attempt to move, but I widened my eyes and shook my head.

- "No! No! Please don't go! I'll behave, I won't complain. Just please, do something!"

(Y/N) sighed as she stared at me with a small satisfactory smile on her face. She ran her fingers up and down my chest and shook her head.

- "Maybe you need to beg a little more. Tell me how badly you want me to make you feel good."- my wife sat upon me again and started rubbing my cock against the fabric of her panties, so painfully slowly for a moment, I thought I was going to go crazy with desire.

- "Ma cherie, please, I'm begging you, make me feel good. I love you so much."

- "How much?"- she kept rubbing against my body, nearly making me spill myself.

- "I would kill anyone who dares threaten you, cara mia."- I answered quickly, trying to suppress the moans and failing in the process. - "I love you so much that one day without you is agony. I want you so much that no other woman on earth could ever come close to what you make me feel. I need you, ma cherie. I wanna make you feel good too."

And I guess my Gomez Addam's speech really pleased her 'cos that was when she guided me to her entrance and slipped my dick slowly inside of her. So slowly I could feel how every inch of me entered her, and my brain shut down.

- "Keep talking, Dr. Reid."- (Y/N) whispered between sweet moans- "You almost convinced me."

- "I love you"- that was all I managed to say as she started to move upon me and my entire being focused on not coming right away.

- "And?"

- "Please, please ma cherie, I wanna come..."- I mumbled and she shook her head as she kept bouncing on me.

- "No, you can't come until you've learned your lesson."

- "I've learned it, I swear. Please, please at least let me touch you. I need you."- and as a miracle, she guided my hands to her warm breast.

- "Oh god."- I mumbled and sat down immediately to start kissing every inch of her skin available to me. My mouth moved from her breast to her neck until I found her lips, and she continued moaning against my lips as I kissed her.

- "I love you so much, ma cherie."- I managed to whisper as I felt her hands on my back scratching me. - "I just wanna make you happy."- I mumbled against her lips as I continued kissing her.

- "Make me come and you can come."- she replied and looked at me with a dirty smirk on her lips. If that was a challenge, I was ready to obey and fulfill my duty.

I held her waist tight as I laid back and increased the rhythm of my hips bucking against her. I held her in place and watched her breast bounce as she moaned quietly.

- "Come here."- I whispered, but she didn't move, she just raised an eyebrow and stared at me.- "Please, ma'am. Let me please you."

And she finally leaned on me, resting her hands on each side of my head, capturing my lips in a kiss that left me breathless for a moment. I could feel her pussy tightening around my cock, edging me. I held her tight and increased my pace, the sound of her body slamming against mine became the only sound we both could hear besides our own muffled moaning.

- "I'm so close."- my wife whispered, resting her forehead on mine. I kept one hand on her waist, and moved the other to her breast, playing with them and guiding one to my lips.

- "Shit... Spencer, please... I'm gonna..."- but she didn't even finish that sentence, her orgasm washed over her and took me to my own release in a second. I kept my hands in place as she slowly started decreasing her movements, until her whole body leaned on mine, panting.

- "I love you."- she whispered and kissed my neck before she started giggling. - "Was it too weird?"

- "No, it was incredibly sexy calling you ma'am and having you bossing me in bed."- I confessed and held her cheek to kiss her lips. - "We should do this more often, actually."

- "So there is a little sub in you trying to find his way out, Doctor Reid."- my wife smiled and kissed me again.

- "Yes, ma'am."- I replied and smiled against her lips.- "But only for you. No one else but you."

(Y/N)'s point of view

Raven's first birthday party was a ride! The entire family was excited about the event and helped get everything for the party. We drove early to my mom's with Diana and Aunt Ethel and discovered my dad was already there, helping her set the tables in the backyard. Soon after, Frank, Lu, and Mikey showed up, ready to help with anything we needed. Which included, of course, messing around and making Raven laugh the entire time. It was incredibly hard putting her down for her nap, but I knew if she skipped it, nothing was going to go right.

Rossi, Hotch, and Jack showed up around four, holding presents for our baby. I thought it was sad Aaron and Beth had broken up, they were the perfect couple. But I knew he didn't want to talk about it and get all sad and melancholic.

- "Aunt (Y/N)!"- Jack ran and hugged me as soon as he walked into the house.

- "Oh my god, Jack! Why are you so tall! You are soon gonna be as tall as Spencer!"- I wrapped my arms around him and smiled at Hotch, who stared at us from the door.

- "Where is Birdie? I wanna give her the present I picked for her!"- Jack was incredibly excited, which made me very happy.

- "She is in the backyard, go ahead and say hi!"- Spencer said as Jack hugged him as well.

- "Thank you Uncle Spencer!"- and off he went.

- "Thank you for coming"- Spencer hugged both Rossi and Hotch and welcomed them to my parents' house. We hadn't even closed the door when JJ and Will showed up with little Henry, followed by Derek, Garcia, and her mystery companion: Emily Prentiss. I was in shock when I saw my friend standing in front of me, and most of all, I was amazed by the fact Penelope successfully kept a secret from us.

- "Like I was gonna miss this party!"- she said as I nearly fainted when I saw her at the door.

- "Oh my god!!! You are actually here!!"

- "Body and soul and ready to spoil your little princess."- Em said as she hugged me and Spencer tight.- "I missed you guys!"

- "We missed you too!"- Spencer whispered and smiled. - "I'm so happy you are here! Thank you so much for coming."

- "Nothing on earth would ever keep me from my best friends."- Emily replied and smiled at us.- "Now please tell me you have some booze."

- "We even have a rock band playing live."- I beamed and nearly clapped in excitement.- "Everybody is in the backyard, go ahead, we'll be right there."

Diana and my mom always got along perfectly, which I know made Spencer very happy. He had always been deeply protective of her, and it made my heart beat harder when I realized now he had a family helping him take care of Diana. We all loved her very much.

My brother and his girlfriend were at the party too. They had been dating for over a year, a new record in his life, and we all liked her. None of us knew if things between them could work out in the end, but at that point in life, we were glad Phoenix had someone by his side, no matter how long.

Kate, her husband, and her niece were there too, which made me incredibly happy because we had become very close friends and I honestly enjoyed having her on the team. I knew no one could ever replace Emily, but Kate had made me feel like in the old days at work. And let me tell you, at our work, that is deeply needed.

Raven was a little princess enjoying all the attention. The birthday theme was rainbows because she was currently obsessed with rainbows and unicorns, after Mikey got her a stuffed unicorn one day he babysat her. She crawled and played with everybody at the party. She especially enjoyed the ballpit Spencer had made for her. Pen helped me bake a million cupcakes because we created a cupcake rainbow for the party, it was fun and everybody loved it. Besides, it looked stunning at the table. However, despite the amount of sugar on the cupcakes, mom still got a birthday cake for Raven.

- "My granddaughter deserves a cake for her first birthday!"- she argued when I told her the cupcake idea, weeks before the party.

- "Mom, she is turning one, she can't even eat cake!"

- "And cupcakes she can actually have?"- she got me there.

- "If I wipe off the frosting, she can have a little bite."- I tried to win the argument, but it was impossible.

- "Stop, I'm getting her a cake."

And it ended up being a great idea, mostly because Raven looked adorable trying to blow her single candle on her cake as we all sang happy birthday. Frank and Mikey played a few songs for her, songs they had written for her when they babysit her, and that she definitely loved, because she kept clapping and staring at her favorite uncles with eyes filled with love and admiration.

We also had a few activities for the grownups. We had a nice prize to giveaway to whoever answered the most questions correctly. All of them Raven-related, of course.

- "Ok, for ten points, which was Raven's first word?"- I asked and Frank immediately grabbed a squeaky toy, making it sound like an animal.

- "Dada!"

- "That's correct!"- I replied in my best TV host imitation voice. - "And for 10 extra points, can you tell when she said her first word?"

- "It was... three weeks ago, when you guys came back from a case!"

- "That's correct! Frank has the lead with sixty points, followed by Pen with fifty."- I announced and everybody clapped, including Raven, who was happily resting on her father's arms. Spencer kept smiling and kissing her chubby cheeks as the grownups kept playing.

Eventually Frank won. He kicked ass in the flash round and Pen might or might not have gotten a little jealous. She argued Frank got to spend more time with Raven 'cos he was frequently babysitting when we were out.

- "The fact it was such a neck to neck contest only shows how much you love and care for our baby as her godparents.."- Spencer said and hugged Garcia, who was still pouting.- "And we have a prize for the second position as well."- he said and handed her a box with a cute mug, as Frank showed everybody the movie theater gift card he had won. He was honestly excited.

- "Ok little lady, you are gonna be my date to the movies." - he said as Raven raised her arms for him to pick her up from the ballpit she was playing in, again.

- "Well I think it's only fair that both her godfather and godmother take her to the movies to see her first movie."- Garcia added, and kissed Raven's head. I stared at the whole scene, feeling my heart filled with love. Our daughter was loved by so many people, and me and Spencer had created such a beautiful family, that tears kept threatening to fill my eyes.

I felt someone hold my hand, and my husband smiled at me as I turned around. He moved me to the side and hugged me, probably thinking the same as I was.

- "Enjoying your daughter's party, Dr. Reid?"- I asked him and he chuckled immediately.

- "Very much, Dr. Reid."

- "I'm not a Dr yet, I still need to present my thesis to the board."- I corrected him and my husband simply shook his head.

- "You are gonna do great."- there was silence between us for a few seconds, as we stared at the scene around us. Henry and Jack kept playing, Diana and my mom were eating cake and drinking coffee, enjoying what seemed to be a very interesting conversation 'cos they didn't stop laughing the entire time. Our friends seemed to be having fun, enjoying a few drinks in the backyard while Raven kept giggling on Frank's arm as Pen kept making funny faces to her.

- "Is it too weird to tell you I am a little sad she just turned one?"- Spencer whispered and I shook my head.

- "No, I don't think it's weird. Our baby is growing."- I murmured as I glued my eyes to Raven. One year had already passed, and it seemed like a whole lifetime had happened between that day and the day she had been born.

- "I just... It's selfish but I feel a little sad that my baby is growing up. She is already walking, soon she will be a little girl, start school... then college and before we know it, she will leave the house."- I stopped Spencer's rambing with my fingers on his lips, the ones he kissed immediately, looking right into my eyes.

- "You are overthinking, hon. None of that will happen today, and today we enjoy our daughter's first birthday, ok?"- he sighed and nodded. - "What if we take the official picture before the sun sets and we run out of natural light?"- I suggested, to take his mind from the dark place he had gone. He nodded one more time and kissed me.

- "Gomez! Morticia!"- Mikey called up and shook his head.- "This is a kid's party, stop making out in front of your poor baby!"

I know I blushed and so did Spencer, as we parted and started walking back to our guesses.

- "I will never get used to that."- Emily teased us with an evil grin.

- "Me neither"- JJ added under breath, though I heard her quite clear.

- "After all the years we had to witness you two in denial of your love, now we have to deal with your corniness and worst of all, all the kissing."- Emily added and everybody laughed at her words. I just shook my head, a little embarrassed.

- "Do you remember that one time I actually sent you to Spencer's room to declare your love and you came back and got wasted on mini gin bottles 'cos you found Ashley in his room?"- the only one who knew that was Emily, which is why everybody gasped after she delivered that question.

- "Yes, I do, but let's not talk about that... and it wasn't gin, it was vodka, and we drank it before you sent me to declare my undying love in my pajamas."

- "What the hell was Ashley doing in your room?"- Garcia asked, opening her eyes in shock.

- "I don't know, Pen. Spencer?" - I turned and looked at my husband, who widened his eyes and shook his head.

- "I have no idea what you are talking about."

- "That case in Miami when you had an awful headache"- I remind him.- "I casually stopped by your room and Ashley opened the door. She said you were in the bathroom, so I just left."- Spencer stared at me perplexed. I had never told him I knew that.

- "That night she would never leave my room, I had to ask her to leave."- he whispered.- "I'm sure she just wanted to make sure I was ok."

And the entire party laughed. Every single grown up there. Even his mom.

- "Sure, Spence, she wanted to tuck you in."- JJ joked and shook her head.- "She wanted to have sex with you! Of course she did!"

- "I had never seen anyone more obvious in my entire life."- Derek added.

- "And the fact you were blind at her attempts to seduce you made it so much funnier."- Em commented.- "I'm still surprised Ashley was able to walk out of the BAU alive and by herself and not in an ambulance."

- "Me too."- I answered, thinking I was dying to hit Ashley the entire time she spent in the BAU.

- "I never noticed! I swear! I never understood her attitude! I was never interested in her."- Spencer explained and shook his head. - "And I refuse to have this conversation on the day of my daughter's first birthday."

- "You are right Spence, congratulations to Raven! She is the cutest little girl on earth."- JJ said and smiled at us.

- "And now that she is one year old, are you planning on giving her a little brother or sister?"- Rossi asked us and neither of us knew what to say.

- "Well, we haven't..."- Spencer stuttered and I simply answered.

- "Still not ready for a second baby. Maybe next year."

Which was true. We knew we wanted a big family, and having Raven had been an incredible ride. But I had to finish my PhD first, and we had plans to get a house in a couple of years, to raise our kids in a bigger place, with a backyard and a treehouse, like we had always dreamed of.

But of course, life was going to get in the way of that. 

Next chapter

[neoarchipelago]

And they were Rommates (ending)

warnings: EVERYTHING? MATURE CONTENT DEATH ALL OF IT.

this is an edning... the epilogue will be coming, and i'm working on the epub version.

The next few days were exhausting. Amy was going through a lot. She refused to do anything or go anywhere if she wasn't with you or Simon. You completely understood it. You had already decided to make an appointment with a therapist for her, hopefully helping her deal with her fear. 

You had gone through some serious meetings, voicing out your anger. Hopkins was under investigation. His incompetence had to be stopped. 

All the while at home it was a frenzy. You had moved into Simon's room, leaving your room to Amy. She had a hard time being alone, she'd often sleep in your bed with Simon, or you and Simon would have to rush to her bedroom in the middle of the night. 

Price had offered to watch over her one night so you could rest, but it had been automatic. As soon as the little whimpering was heard, Simon had jumped off the bed, waking you up in the process. You instantly ran after him, quickly knowing what it was all about. Price had sighed, giving up, there was nothing keeping you and Simon away from the child.

She had become the center of your and Simon's attention. And the weeks passed. Time trying to heal the wounds. Amy had started therapy, it seemed to help a bit, she agreed to sleep in her new bedroom and as a compromise she knew that she could at any time join your room if she was scared. Simon had pouted, he adored being able to sleep with his two favorite girls. 

As Amy started to accept her new bedroom, the boys had decided to start the makeover. Price and Simon had been extremely focused on it. The girl now had a princess room, pinks whites and drapes. Everyone had offered princesses dresses that she kept as a collection. It was during one of the moments where almost everyone was working in the bedroom that the little girl came to you to ask something. 

"Y/N… i miss mama… do you think… she lookin at me?" 

You felt a little pinch in your heart. You had remembered the funeral. A horrible moment for you and her. You'd still very often take her to Melissa's grave where you had decided to keep fresh flowers as often as possible. 

"I know you miss mama. I miss her too… and I know… for sure, that she's looking over you. She's proud of you. I'm absolutely sure of it." 

You had caressed her cheek, as she leant in, climbing to your lap to hug you. 

The week passed, yes. And things slowly changed. Soap and Margo had decided to move in together, a house really close to yours. Konig and Grim were sharing an apartment two streets away. Price had asked Liz to move in with him, deciding that time wasn't worth wasting. Gaz had decided to move in with Richard and Aquila right in front, the three becoming quickly inseparable. The house felt a bit empty. Although they'd often pass by, at least three times a week and every weekend. 

Amy had learnt about your pregnancy. First she looked really happy, excited even. For a few days she looked sad, you had tried to talk to her and had cried when she asked if you'd replace her with the new baby. You had of course comforted her, that she was part of the family and absolutely nothing would replace her. 

She wouldn't call you mom. And you didn't want her to nor would you force her. You'd accept it if she desired to. But her mother was Melissa. You were aunty, Y/N, sparrow. And Simon was ghost, ghosty or Simon. It was perfect like this. 

The pregnancy was going well. At 14 weeks, you had started to show quite well. Simon was obsessed with you. It was hard to keep your hands off of each other. Truly. Amy had accepted to go to the mall with the team, you had remained home with him. 

You felt warm. Horny. And he kept looking at you possessively, as if you were the most precious delectable thing on earth. 

"Simon… you're staring." You teased, feeling how wet you were. 

"How could I not? You're stunning. I want to make you mine…" he growled, slowly stepping towards you. 

You had frowned, looking at your swollen stomach before teasing him again. 

"Wait. Didn't you already?" 

You had giggled as he tackled you softly on the couch, kissing you deeply. You had moaned very quickly. 

"What was that? Do you want me darling?" He took his chance to tease you back. 

You whined, kissing again, tasting him and moaning. Clothes were long gone, pulling and scratching to finally feel the skin to skin. It was more than a craving. It was a necessity, a comfort. It felt intense. Passionate. 

"Simon please…" 

He had chuckled. He still loved teasing you. He'd finger you slowly. Lowering himself to drop soft kisses to your belly, making you giggle through moans. Kisses traveled to your tender breast, mouth licking and sucking at your sensitive nipples. 

"Simon..!" You whined again. 

"So impatient…" he chuckled. 

"Don't tease a pregnant woman!" You pouted. 

"My apologies…" he added with a grin. 

He positioned himself in between your legs, tip playing with your clit, making you moan more, desperation creeping on you. 

"You alright?" 

You nodded, biting your lip, feeling the tip at your entrance, slowly pushing in. You felt amazing, the stretch and fullness almost immediately responding to your raging hormones. Simon's groans and grunts only added to your desperation. He was slow, deep. He'd rarely fuck you roughly now, too scared to hurt you or the baby, thought he'd be glad to give in if you felt comfortable enough. Hands on him, lips dancing, you felt yourself wanting to cry at the intensity of your pleasure. He softly wiped the tears, dropping kisses to your cheeks, and neck. 

"Lieutenant…" 

You were close. So close. It edged you, torturing you. He increased the pace, feeling himself get closer and closer. 

"Fuck… so pretty… round with my baby…" 

God… he was so proud of it. You felt it, in the way he fucked, kissed you, gazed upon you. 

"You're mine … all mine." 

You were. Eternally. Foreheads touching, you felt yourself ready to burst. 

"Are you going to cum… huh? You gonna cum with me baby?" 

You whimpered, tears streaming. Close. So close. 

"Fuck… mine. All mine…" he growled. 

"Simon… ple…please… gonna… cuuum.." 

"Cum for me… cum with me… fuck… marry me…" 

Tipping over the edge, orgasm hitting you like an avalanche, you were exactly sure you heard it. You felt him cum, lips biting your neck softly, making sure to leave a mark. 

Your high was slowly coming down, panting and heart stammering. He braced himself not to fall on you, but he remained hidden in your neck. You smiled to yourself. He probably was mortified to have asked it, especially like that. 

"Yes …" you let out through your panting. 

He had slowly gotten up, looking at you, wide eyed. 

"Yes. I'll marry you." You added. 

He had smirked, letting out a small laugh. 

"Fuck yes. Miss Riley." 

You had joined him in his laugh, loving looks and kisses making you melt into each other. 

The news had spread like a wildfire. Everyone was already battling for a place in the wedding party. Simon had lost patience, threatening that you'd elope if they kept bickering. You were impatient. You wanted it. He had noticed it. You had walked home one day, after a shopping session with Liz and bishop that cornered you to buy a dress. Walking into the garden to a surprise wedding. Flowers and fairy lights. Amy ran to you, white little princess dress, Simon in a suit. You almost fell out of place until bishop had reminded you of the dress you had bought. It wasn't a wedding dress, but it was stunning and comfortable. And you were heavily pregnant. 

Simon had teared up, Kate had walked you down to him, Price patting him in the back. To your biggest surprise, all your friends were officing. Apparently they had all decided to get certified and marry you. You had cried. Simon simply looked at you like you were the world. Everything. And you looked at him like he was your hero, the rest of your existence. 

Amy was thrilled to bring the rings, the kiss making everyone cheer. Madame Riley. Miss Riley. Simon kept whispering it to you. Like a prayer. Trying to realize it. 

The whole base knew by morning. Soap really couldn't shut up. But god did it make you happy to hear the recruits greet you with a 'good morning Miss Riley'.

Your next ultrasound was scheduled early, Price and Amy coming with you as Simon had to be on base. He had pouted all week for not being able to go, you had promised to come see him immediately after. 

The nurse walked in as you laid down on the table. Price sat next to you on a chair, Amy on his lap. 

"Well, good afternoon, Miss Riley. How are you feeling?" 

"Swollen. Huge. But I'm fine." You joked. 

"Well, it should be soon!" 

You frowned. 

"Soon? I'm only in my second trimester." 

He frowned too before relaxing. 

"Oh, well every pregnancy is different. Sometimes the babies like to be comfy."

"Are you saying I'm too big?" You teased, a hint of annoyance. 

The cold gel made you shiver. The ultrasound started, everything was fine until the nurse froze, eyes squinting at the screen. 

"Is something wrong? If there's something wrong, tell me. Now." You panicked. 

"It's hum… it's nothing bad. Don't worry. But I have to check something with the doctor alright?" 

Price rose, Amy in his arms, stepping closer to you. 

"Price…" you looked at him, worry in your voice. 

"It's alright. Breathe. Don't start panicking, it's probably nothing." He said, a warm signature smile on his lips. 

The doctor had walked in, greeting you, taking his turn on the ultrasound. 

"Alright… so. Here." He started pointing at the screen. "We can see a head, and here… is a second head." 

You blinked. What? 

"Two? Twins?" Price asked. 

"Exactly. Which would explain why you look so far along. It explains your recent blood test as well. It seems to be fraternal twins." 

"What… does that mean?" You frowned. 

"They don't share a placenta. They're not identical twins." He explained with a smile. 

You let out a breath you were holding. It was nothing. Just twins. JUST TWINS?! 

"OH GOD…PRICE." 

He chuckled, Amy understood the situation and she cheered, so happy that two babies were joining the family. 

The way to base was a rush of anxiety. How were you going to break the news to Simon? How was he going to react? 

"Y/N. Calm down love. It's going to be alright." Price said with a soothing voice. 

You took a deep breath. It was going to be ok. 

The team was already waiting when Price parked the car. Everyone was there, Kate included. 

You had stepped out of the car, getting Amy from her car seat as she wiggled in your arms, impatient to run to Simon. Price stood next to you, winking at you before turning towards the team with you. Yes. Breaking the news. Amy ran to Simon, screaming, screeching like an adorable banshee. 

"THERE'S TWO BABIES!!!" 

Price burst out laughing as you closed your eyes, absolutely hating Soap for spending so much time with Amy and Tyler. You opened them back when the team let out surprised happy noises while Simon looked at you with wide eyes, Amy already climbing out of his arms to run to Tyler. You walked to him as he stepped towards you. 

"Two? Two babies?" He repeated. 

"Yes… twins… " you answered with a comforting smile. 

He looked panicked. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped. Price cleared his throat, gaining his attention. 

"Simon. Your wife is waiting for you to say something." 

"Hum… yes. It's very good news. Of course darling… will… will I be up to the task?" He said, worried. 

"Oh… Simon. Of course. We'll be together…I'm scared too…" you confessed. 

"You don't need to. Look around you two." Price added. 

The team looked at you. 

"There's a whole village with you. You're not alone." He concluded. 

He was right. You weren't alone. Not one second. Simon seemed to relax. He held you in his arms, close to him. 

"You're amazing bunny… simply amazing… I'm in awe at you…" he whispered. 

You blushed, biting your lip. 

"We're going to make it… it'll be fine." You whispered back. 

"Damn LT… two right in the first try… you need to stop the caffeine." Soap joked.

Simon groaned, slowly turning his head to soap to send him a death glare as the team burst out laughing. 

Two babies. If the team was already obsessive with your pregnancy before now it was a hundred times worse. You couldn't catch any alone time. Picking up something wasn't even possible, gaz or soap or Liz running to help you. 

"I am not handicapped!" You snapped. 

You were closely watched. The pregnancy wasn't too risky but perhaps the fear that something might happen to lieutenant Riley's wife and babies was enough to set the whole base alight. It was definitely enough to have two doctors following the pregnancy and check-in on you regularly. 

You were getting pissed. Annoyed. You wanted to breathe a bit. The weeks passed, the first kicks that had Simon glued to you, feeling each little push of your belly. You'd find him close to your stomach, whispering to the two little beings inside. 

In the middle of your third trimester, stress and anxiety mixed with impatience. Simon was running around preparing the nursery, price and soap helping. Causing Simon to often get annoyed at the Scottish man. 

You also had let your nerves get the best of you.

"No! I'm going to the park with Amy and Riley. And I do not need a babysitter. That's enough!" 

"But… Y/N…" gaz tried. 

"Gaz. You're a sweetheart, but I will snap at the next person who doesn't let me wash the dishes or GET A CUP OF WATER ON MY OWN." 

He had nodded as you finally sighed. 

"Sorry…" 

"I understand. You need some time to breathe. It's probably stressful already without having us smoldering you at all times." He said with a smile. 

You sniffed, nodding a bit. 

"Alright, alright. But be careful, keep your phone on you." 

You rolled your eyes but agreed. 

Taking Amy to the park was a good moment to rest your mind. Amy enjoyed running around and playing with the rest of the children. A small cafe had an open terrasse, right in the children's playground for children's parents. You hummed at the chocolate cake in front of you and juice in your cup. You glanced at Amy running around, Riley had decided to remain with her, keeping an eye on her. 

You phone vibrated, grabbing your attention. Kate was calling. 

"Hello?" You answered. 

"Where are you?" She asked in a rush. 

"Calm down. I'm at the park with Amy." You answered slightly annoyed. 

"Y/N. Keller is on base. He's here to grab the rest of his stuff." She let out, worried. 

You sighed. Would you ever be at peace?

"I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm in public, the idiot won't try anything. If he does, he won't get far." You answered. 

"I'm sending Simon and Price to you." She warned. 

"Fine!" You let out, hanging up. 

Her phone call was a premonition. A warning that would foreshadow him. You looked up as Keller walked to you, taking the seat in front of you, cup in front of him. 

"So he knocked you up huh?" He spoke with a disgusted grin on his lips. 

You smiled. You were oddly relaxed. Yes. 

"Indeed. Twins. A boy, and a girl." You stated as if you were talking to a long lost friend. 

"You ruined my life. My career." 

"You did all the work. I have no credit." You answered, taking a bite of the cake. God it was amazing you had been craving it for the last hour. 

"I'm not going to let you get away with it!"

You chuckled. Looking intensely behind him, making him look back. Perfect timing. 

"Listen Keller. I'm going to give you one chance. To walk away." You said, steady, threatening tone. He turned back to you. 

"I'm not afraid of you." 

"You should. Especially now. I'm pregnant. With Amy. Alone. And you're trying to threaten me. It's possibly the stupidest thing you could do." 

"And what are you going to do? Throw cake at me? I'm too close to you. No one will manage to help you on time." He took a long gulp of his drink. 

"I'm not the one who needs help. Long ago you treated me like an enemy. You know what I'm capable of. Especially after everything I've been through. I grew." You said. 

He frowned. Confused. 

"Let me explain it to you." You started, cleaning your hands on your napkin. "You know. At first, I was all alone. Kept in a little cage, where Kate would come see me once in a while. I'd go to base, where people would be weary of me. Too far from the people I once knew. 

I've gone through a lot. I lost, I loved. I met him. 

He walked into my life with that skull mask like an actual ghost." You laughed softly to yourself 

"It was hard. But it was worth it. He was worth it. He became everything to me. The way he loves me… is beyond what I'd ever deserve. He ran in, with his team behind him and nested in my heart where I gladly kept them there. I wasn't lonely anymore. And I was lucky enough to be loved by him. 

He became everything you know?" You inquired like this was a perfectly normal conversation. 

"He is my morning, noon, and night… the smile, the cries. He made me queen of his realm and I turned him into my god. 

I lost so. DAMN. Much." Anger coated your voice now. 

"I still remember her laugh every time I see that little girl run around." You turned your head to watch Amy play with the neighborhood's kids. Keller opened his mouth to say something but you quickly interrupted. 

"You better let me finish." You threatened. 

"I have been through so much shit. You've beat me up. I was kidnapped. Almost killed. I lost him for a split second and it was the most painful thing I've ever had to live. I've lost Melissa, taken in that little girl. I… I got pregnant." Your voice is laced with something you didn't ever expect to experience in your life. Your hand stroked the roundness of your belly where two little souls were aching to meet the world. 

"Tell me Keller." You asked. "Do you think that after all of this… after all I've gone through… the betrayal by the people of this base who should have kept it safe, I'd walk around… with my precious Amy, pregnant, without safety?" 

"Ha… you talking about that dog?" He chuckled darkly looking at Riley who laid near the playground watching Amy. 

You chuckled darkly as well. 

"Oh no… no. I've realized that I can't bear to lose them. My family. So. How's that drink of yours?" You grinned. 

He looked taken aback before suddenly opening his eyes wide. 

"You know, a woman created a poison, completely untraceable, she sold it in a bottle of perfume for women who wanted to kill their abusive husbands. Of course. It took a while to figure out the recipe, it was so many decades ago, but… I got it. I've decided I won't let anyone else threaten me and my family. Ever. " Your eyes had filled with a determination, a will that promised raging wars and death. 

"Y/N!" You heard. 

You smiled, glancing back. Simon rushed to you, Price and Liz not too far. 

"Hi my love." You greeted him, with a soft smile. 

"Are you alright?!" He worried, glancing darkly at Keller. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine." You smiled up at him, hugging his hand. 

"What did you give me?!" Keller panicked, his face growing red. 

"I gave you warnings. I gave you a chance. And you decided to ignore them." You finally said, standing up. You dropped some money on the table, the waitress not too far. 

"Miss… I think you should call the med bay. The gentleman seems to be having an allergic reaction." You faked a worried voice. 

You called on Amy, Riley following her as she ran to you. Simon held you to him walking back to the rest of the team. 

"What happened?" 

"He tried to threaten me. I decided I had enough. I have too much to lose to be a little bird." You explained, a wide smile on your face. 

He picked up Amy, hugging her tightly. He had a wicked grin under his mask.

"That's my wife."

You were unsure of what happened to Keller. Kate had kept it secret from you and you hadn't tried to search. You didn't care. It was too close to your due date, and you felt like you'd explode any second. It made you irritable. Very. The only ones who seemed to be perfectly safe from it were Amy and Price. Poor Simon tried his best to soothe your anger bursts, and he mostly managed. 

You paced around, restlessly. You remembered how the doctor said walking would help with the labor. You wanted them out. Without offending the babies, you wanted them out. 

"Darling, breathe. You'll tire yourself." Simon spoke from the kitchen, making the rest of the team chuckle. 

"Tell your kids to get out then. I feel like a whale. My feet are swollen and I constantly need to pee." You said with annoyance. 

"If they're as stubborn as you, you might have to wait a little while." He teased. 

You wanted to laugh, but the annoyed part of you also wanted to flip him off. 

"Listen here Simon Riley, this is your fault because you can't keep your hands to yourself and wear protection, so God help me I-" 

It felt wet. Very. You gasped, the room turning silent. Amy let out a 'ew' as soap let out a little 'i'm gonna be sick…'. 

You straightened yourself, taking a deep breath. Simon was frozen, wide eyed, awaiting for orders. 

"Simon, please get the bags. Price, could you drive us to the hospital? I'm unsure my husband is responding to outside stimulus right now." 

"Absolutely, let's go." 

The way to the hospital was chaos. The entry to the hospital was chaos. Squad 141 and your team, Amy, and Tyler running around Kate showed up to a wreck of a waiting room. 

"Ok every one shut it." Kate ordered. "First of all if you want to stay here, all of you, you better behave. Y/N my love, we got you a private room upstairs, the team can wait in a secluded area, but only if you want to." She said in a much softer voice. 

You felt the begining of contractions. You winced. 

"They can stay. But please be quiet." You let out through gritted teeth. 

It took hours. Hours and hours. The more time passed, the more tired you felt. Simon had gone into a full panic. Kate and bishop tried to reassure him, first pregnancies could take time. 

"Simon…" you tried through pain.

He rushed to your side, holding your hand. 

"I'm ok, calm down… listen… I need you to go get the nurses…" 

"What?!" 

"No, calm down… the baby… one of them… is coming. Right. Now." 

He gasped before rushing out in panic to call… pretty much the whole hospital. 

An hour later.  You were finally able to witness the father of your children, hugging the little babies against him. He had taken his mask off, looking at your children with wonder and love. 

You were exhausted. It has been painful… exhausting. But fuck it was worth it. 

"We haven't found any names yet Simon…" you whispered. 

He looked up. Smiling brightly at you. 

"Oh my bunny… you did amazing… you're my warrior… anything you want, anything." 

You smiled to yourself rolling your eyes. 

"I'm serious. Look. Fuck… look. You gave me everything. You've made me the happiest man alive… before I stepped into that appartement, hating the fact I had to share a living space. Falling face to face with a little bunny like girl…" 

You chuckled. 

"I thought I was done. Just a soldier. A ghost. Killer, torturer… a monster not worth loving. You took me, loved me, showed me sympathie… you've… handled me through my bullshit… fuck. You gave me a chance. You've shown me I wasn't alone… I had a family, you gave me beautiful babies… I owe it all to you."

Tears burned your eyes as if you hadn't cried enough. 

"Simon… I Love you. More than anything. Thank you… for giving me a home." You whispered. 

"I love you. To hell and back." 

You chuckled. 

"So… names?" You tried again. 

"Anything my love, tell me what you have in mind." 

You smirked. 

"Well…" 

The next day, the team was allowed to visit. Simon had forbidden them to even try to come by during the first 24h real hours. 

"Hiiii!" Soap half yelled. 

"Shhuuuuuu" the group said. 

A little 'sorry' was heard from the poor boy. The babies were laying in their little cribs, both sleeping. Everyone surrounded them, Simon immediately standing to a protective stance. Amy in Price's arms stared in awe at the babies. 

"Amy, my monkey…" 

Price walked to you, dropping the little girl on the bed next to you. She hurried to hug you. 

"How are you my little monkey, you enjoy spending time with grandpa? I'm sorry you had to stay-" 

"It's ok, I had fun with grandpa and soap! They played princesses with me" she said with a big smile. 

"What do you think of the babies?" You asked softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"I'm really happy… I have two little cousins. They're cute." She said, eyes gleaming. 

"I'm really happy my love… I hope you know that you'll always be my little monkey." 

"I know" she hugged you tight. 

"Soap, keep touching their little hats and I'll punch you." You heard Simon. 

"Simon… it's alright" you scolded. 

"I wasn't playing with them, I was putting it back carefully." Soap whined. 

"So how's the mama?" Bishop and Kate walked to you. 

"Tired… but in bliss." You said with a smile. 

Small talk was started, hushed voices and whispers to make sure the babies remained in a peaceful slumber. Until the question was finally dropped. 

"So… what's the name of these angels?" Liz asked. 

Simon looked at you, from where he stood, arms crossed, near the babies. He walked to you, dropping a kiss to the top of your head. 

"Well… we would like to introduce to you. Aria Kate Riley. And Eli John Riley." 

Time stood still, silence filling the room. Soap suddenly let out a cry. 

"Are you crying sergeant?" Kyle asked immediately. 

Soap rushed to Simon, holding him in a tight hug. Simon looked at you before you threw him a knowing look. He patted soap's back. 

Soap let go, turning to Price. 

"They named him after us." 

"Yes sergeant I've noticed." Price answered, emotion betraying his own voice.

Bishop grabbed soap so Price could go hug Simon and kiss your forehead. 

Kate sat on the bed next to you. She threw a soft smile your way, earning a smile from you. 

"I am proud of you." She said. 

"Thank you. And… thank you, for bringing him into my life." You answered, with a knowing look. 

"I don't know -"

"Kate. No one would have agreed to get me a roommate. No one. You pushed it. You chose him… probably with Price." 

She looked down. 

"Thank you. Really." 

You turned to look at the new bickering near you. You sighed of content. Amy in Simon's arms, looking over your babies. The rest of the team surrounding them or you. 

Home. It felt like home. 

Simon looked at you, eyes gazing into you. Those beautiful eyes. His dirty blond hair and little scars. You remembered the first time he walked into your apartment, skull mask and duffle bag over his shoulder. You remembered the first breakfast you shared together. The first games. The first painful goodbyes and the way he saved you from Keller. You remembered it all. How everything slowly built itself to this moment. 

"I love you." The words escaped your mouth, forgetting the room, the people. Silence won. Only his voice resonated. 

"Oh bunny… I love you."

-----

Thank you.

[give-to-oblivion]

My Hero Academia Recs: Dadmight & Dadzawa Edition

I love all the adopted dads in this fandom, but I get sad when one of them gets bashed at the expense of the others. This recs list is for fics that have both All Might and Aizawa (and sometimes Present Mic) as good surrogate father figures. The focus isn't always split evenly between them, but I only included fics I thought had good representation of both. Most of these also have good mom Inko because that's important to me, and I've indicated where it's otherwise.

Some of these fics are pretty well known; this is less an "unearth new discoveries" list and more of a "filter for this specific trope variation" list.

Please feel free to reblog with your own additions! There's definitely some longfic I haven't had a chance to sit down with yet.

Announcer AU (Series) by RogueVector

Midoriya Izuku makes his debut on the national stage not as a competitor at the Sports Festival, but rather as a lost spectator turned announcer alongside his heroes Eraserhead and Present Mic.

This is more like EVERYBODY adopting Izuku, but it's still a lot fun. The first two main fics are completed; the third is still a WIP and hasn't been updated for some time.

Apex Predator (WIP, on hiatus) by silver jackdaw (cizzi)

Every single school had one: someone at the top of the food chain. An acme. Someone who could do things under a teacher's nose, escape consequences, and terrify other people. Someone who looked down on everyone else like they were prey. An apex predator. And Izuku couldn't count on teachers and adults to protect anyone. Even a hero school wasn't safe from the phenomena. When Izuku gets to Yuuei, he's determined to find out who it is and ensure they can't hurt him or his new friends.

...and accidentally, in the process, becomes the apex predator (though he is mostly unaware of this, and uses it for good. But still, people are terrified of him.)

Although this is on hiatus, it's over 170k and doesn't leave off on a cliffhanger. I've reread this at least 10 times.

Burn Your Wings by oWhiteKiwibird

Izuku inherited his parents’ quirks, but he swore he’d never use his fire.

He knows first hand how—bright, burning, scorching, painful, terrifying, destructive—it is, after all, and Izuku promised (promised his crying mother, promised his burning self, promised the laughing memory of his father) that he’d become a hero who stops that kind of despair.

Even if he has to burn his own wings to do so.

By Chance, By Choice by Marigold_Flowers

Aizawa Shouta, Yagi Toshinori, Midoriya Izuku and Shinsou Hitoshi wake up one morning with a Soul-mark, meaning that there's a chance they'll meet their Soulmate that day. Things don't go quite like they expect, but they go well all the same. They find new family, just perhaps not quite how they thought they would.

Parental soulmates, with a twist. I've never seen this take on this trope and had to include it.

A Guide to Death Worlders (Series) by katydid & Zyla_SweetBean

Humans are known across the galaxy for being terrifying, relentless, and savage monsters. Naturally the alien warlord All for One must have one as a pet. The unfortunate alien abduction victim Izuku Midoriya is determined to make his captor regret it.

Series based on the "humans are space orcs" premise. A little cracky, but very fun, and the series is complete at over 270k so it'll last you a while.

Hide and Seek (Series, complete) by battybatzgirl

Izuku Midoriya is good at hiding his secrets. Shouta Aizawa is better at uncovering them.

Left Over by Dinosawrhat

Aizawa Shouta’s instincts were nearly 100% accurate, as was his eye for small details. They were skills honed through years working the Underground, and only broadened when it came to dealing with 20 incredibly powerful teens year after year. So, when he noticed that Midoriya hadn’t brought a lunch for the fourth time this week, he knew something was off.

This does have neglectful Inko. And just. so much whump.

The New Normal by The Feels Whale (miscellea)

Midoriya Izuku comes from a long line of secret Force users. Reconciling that with living as a Quirkless person in and Quirked world is interesting at best --and that was before his Dad tried to make him commit a murder.

Present Mic and Eraserhead, meanwhile, have been trying to adopt for a while with no luck until Mic walks past the wrong (possibly the right) custody hearing and can't help but step in.

A Boku no Hero Academia and Star Wars Fusion.

Razzmatazz by xylophones

Izuku has plans for everything.

He plans out what to say to the cashier when ordering coffee, he plans out his homework before even opening his textbook. He has a whole ten-year plan for how he’s going to get into UA’s hero course and get his hero license fully quirkless. He plans for every wild, unlikely scenario he can think of because his anxiety gets so bad if he doesn’t go through every possible outcome, every way his life could landslide into disaster–– but Izuku never planned for this.

For once, he doesn’t have a plan and he doesn’t have time to think of one. All he can see is Yagi-san’s lined, kind face looking resigned as he stares down the villain in his shop. Yagi-san, who is the closest thing to a father figure Izuku has ever had.

Izuku doesn’t think. He just moves.

This is mostly Dadmight, but does have some good Dadzawa as well.

Send Endeavor to the Shadow Realm (Series) by PitViperOfDoom

Todoroki Enji is the worst and Midoriya finds ways to let people know it.

The last story in the series is the real meat of it (60k+) but you should read the rest for context. And because they're good.

Things That Haunt Our Hallways by ghostwriterofthemachine

“It was a kid,” Yagi gasped out. He had his hand balled up into a fist and the fist pressed to his lips, as if to remind himself that he could not start screaming. “Or. Young person, maybe 20. Homeless, I think. Activated their Quirk on reflex and then ran. The kids—” Here, he pressed his fist harder to his mouth, sucked in a wheezing breath, as if the air itself was pushing down something with physical weight. “The kids—”

“Scattered immediately,” Aizawa finished for him, and Yagi managed a nod.  

Yagi’s eyes were so dilated that the blue was almost invisible. He shook violently. He looked like a scarecrow in a windstorm.   

Someone activated a Fear-Inducer Quirk so powerful that it reduced All Might to this— of course Aizawa’s class had bolted. 

when at first you don't succeed by LunaLucrea

Toshinori finds himself in a race against time to save his successor. Over and over and over again.

A World Anew (Series) by Krasimer

Time travel/AU fic where a hero traveling back to save Shimura Tenko starts a ripple effect that creates a better world. The first two fics are completed and the third is close to wrapping up.

[starly-the-scrambled]

Weresif?!? Incredible though I am curious as to how fast did the craft take hold? Was it a slow and steady sorta deal and eventually Siffrin left the camp/tent randomly and was found later by bonnie? What triggered Siffrins full shift was it his fear of being abandoned, or a near death experience of himself or his family? I am very curious.

CRACKS KNUCKLES SO FUCKING LOUDLY.

Okay so lot of loredump and rambling incoming you have opened Pandora's box~

So!! The Craft took hold over the course of a few weeks after Siffrin was injured in a fight against a very strange very agressive very large animal, later discovered to be a high-ranking member of the Beastblessed Cult tasked with gathering more members.

Starts out with him just feeling... a tad off. Restless at night, hungrier than usual (which is already super hungry seriously how does a tiny thang like that eat so much) and just all around Weird Abnormal Feeling you Can't Quite Place until one night it just....

...happens.

Mirabelle is actually the one who noticed Siffrin was missing from camp first, being a light sleeper their abrupt exit started her awake, but she wasn't quite fast enough on the draw to see where they headed. So, impromptu midnight search party! Which Bonnie insisted on joining, and...

...well, they TECHNICALLY did find him.

Just not how they expected him to be.

Bonnie runs back in a panic, Siffrin chasing them, and after a brief standoff Odile (being the braincell of the group) realizes that white hair + black tips + one eye + specific shape of scar = siffrin and stops Mirabelle and Isabeau from royally beating this thing into dust for hurting their friend. And that's the story of the first half-shift~

As for the full shift, that doesn't happen until a while later.

During a discussion on how to best track down the Beastblessed, tensions boil over and result in Odile and Isabeau throwing hands out of misplaced frustration. While Mirabelle takes Bonnie aside so the Old Lady and The Fighter can vent their frustrations by fighting eadhother, Siffrin has a little [very large] panic attack because "wuh oh your family is fighting and it's because of you!!!! its your fault Siffrin!!!!! your family is hurting eachother because of you!!!!!" and ends up fleeing for the inevitable stress-induced half-shift... which progresses into a full-shift because of the intense emotion and now theres a whole other problem aside from Dile and Isa beating eachother up.

It ends up alright but in the moment? shits fucked!

and yeah that's part of the weresiff lore can you tell im deranged

[allkordelia]

Keep Me Near Your Heart XV

"How's anyone seen, Daeron." I ask walking up to the table for breakfast, " I went to fetch him for breakfast, but he wasn't in his room." I look at Aemond as I stood beside his chair, his hand comes up to rub circles on my growing belly as he admires it with a smile.

"He's probably in the courtyard with Ser Cole," I frown at the mention at the knight, Aemond knock his hand against the chair next to him before pulling it out, "Come sit, my love." Aemond drag his hand down to tap the seat, I move from his other side to take the seat next to him.

The servants were quick to fill my plate with food before stepping back, Aemond move his hand from the table to put his hand on my stomach, his hand miss a few inches making me grab his hand and place it where he wanted it to do. Aemond's hand rested on my belly, the low chuckling from across the way made me look up with a death glare, Aegon swallow down his laughter when his eye  connect with mine.

He looks away from me as he hide behind his cup, I roll my eyes and sat back in my chair.

The arrival of the babe was just a few weeks away, I would be happy about finally meeting my sweet child if it wasn't for the fact that the queen thought it be a good idea to send invitations to everyone in the family to come celebrate the arrival of the babe. I am still conflicted about having to see my mother and aunt after nearly a year of not talking, my mother I don't really care about but I am afraid of dealing with rhaelle since I promise her I write her every chance I get.

The sounds of the door opening from behind made me turn, Daeron stalk in with a upset look and not too far behind was Alicent and her trusted knight, Ser Cole, I watch as he pulled out a chair next to Aemond and cross his arms. I eye Daeron curiously before glancing at Alicent as she take her seat at the head of the table, she had a neutral look on her face as she got settle, I take a quick glance at Ser Cole before looking away.

It was quiet as we ate, only the sounds of forks scraping against the plates and the soft muttering from Helaena was the only thing that filled the air. It felt intense. I look at Aegon to see him eyeing Daeron, I squint before shifting in my chair making it creak.

"Is something wrong?" I look up and look at Alicent as she lean forward with her hand folded under her chin.

"N-no, just...trying to get comfy." Alicent hummed before leaning back and snapping her fingers.

"Go fetch the princess a more comfortable chair to eat in, please." Alicent commanded, but I spoke up stopping the servant from moving and alicent to look back at me.

"It's fine. I just need to stretch my legs," I lean forward a bit to look at daeron who was glaring at his food, "Daeron, do you wish to join me--"

"No." He bluntly said catching me off guard.

It was out of character for daeron to refuse to accompanying me, he usually be very happy to join but his harsh tone took me by surprise.

"Daeron." Alicemt called sternly, I glance at her as she gives a look to her youngest.

Daeron sigh with a growl and turn his head towards me, "Thank you for the offer but I must decline, jaenara." I frown.

"Are you sure--"

"Yes, I'm sure why wouldn't I be." He snapped, I gape at him taken back, "Can you leave me alone already." Aemond glare at him.

"Watch how you talk to my wife--"

"Shut up." He snapped again looking at his brother.

"Daeron!" Alicent hissed.

Daeron snap his head at his mother, he saw the look she was giving making him growl again and scoot his chair back.

"I'm going to godswood, no one bother me." He snips talking away from the table, I could help but stand and watch him leave the hall.

"What was that about." I ask to no one in particular as I stare at the door.

"He's just...moody," Alicent started making me glance at her as she sip from her cup, "All boys act like that at his age," I put my hand on my stomach with frown.

"I think you meant to say brat, mother." Aemond states looking at his plate as he stab his eggs, "A bit of discipline can fix that." He added.

"Your brother doesn't need any discipline, aemond. His just a child, if I remember you were the same when you were his age." Alicent took her cup again to put it to her lips as she looks at her son.

"Yeah, that's because someone took my eye out." He replied before shoving food into his mouth.

Alicent swallow her wine before clearing her throat and remaining silent, I look at aemond as I put my hand up to scatch at the back of neck near his hair making shudder slightly. His hand went to my lower back, rubbing it in a comforting way.

He thinks we are good, that our marriage is saved and secure. I thought it would be hard to pretend to love him again, but thanks to aemond and the baby inside me, it was easy for me to get my way nowadays.

"What was that, Aegon?" I snapped back to the present and glance between Aegon and Alicent as she stare at her with stern look.

"Nothing, mother. I do not know what I am saying I'm a bit drunk." Aegon replied with a small smirk as he swirl his wine in his cup.

I furrow my brows and look at helaena as she look at aegon with a sad frown, I tilt my head slightly trying to figure out what just happened.

"Hela." I called making the young princess look at me with wide eyes, "Do you wish to go for a walk with me?" Helaena gape for a second before closing her mouth and nodded, I smiled and held out my hand making her get up.

She took it and walk around the table to link our hands, I look at aemond as he wipe his mouth with the cloth.

"I'll be back in a few, husband. Do not forget that we going to visit the younglings later." I said pointly making him look up at me with a small smile.

"Of course, my love." I hum before binding down to kiss his cheek, he turn his head instead to capture my lips.

I pulled back smiling before stepping away from the table, helaena and I walk towards the double doors, I heard talking once we close the door. I didn't need to stay to hear what they were saying, if it was about daeron she will found out why the young boy has been in such a moody.

We walk through the garden hand and hand, I gaze at the different colors of flowers as helaena stare off in her own head.

"Helaena." I called as I stare at a bed of black locusts, I look at her just as she looks at me, "Have you notice something is bothering daeron, he seems highly upset about something." Helaena glance away with a look that told me all I needed to know, "....Helaena." I drawl out with a look, helaena looks back at me with a meekly look.

"...the dragon has been strip of his wings, he lives in turmoil...no thanks to the wolves." I furrow my brows and tilt my head at her words, it was always hard to understand helaena's riddles as a child.

Even now as a adult it's hard to understand what she is saying.

"What does that mean?" I asked stopping in our tracks, helaena looks unsure as she averted her gaze.

"...you must seek him out to understand." She whispered looking back at me, I frown for a moment before nodding my head.

I loop my arm through helaena's arm, we continued our walk through the garden. My thoughts go to daeron, the way he acted at breakfast and the way Alicent was acting towards Aegon, it obvious they hiding something and I rather not wait to found out.

「                            ⊹₊♚₊⊹                           」

Godswood was empty. After escorting Helaena back to her chamber to attend to her children, I came to gidswood in hopes to find daeron, so we could talk. I look around as I walk further towards the tree, once under I heard sniffing, I  walk around the tree only to found no one. I frown before I heard rustling in the trees, u look up and through the branches and leaves I could see daeron hiding up there.

"Daeron? What are you doing up there, get down before you hurt yourself." I move around to get a better look at him, he glance at me before quickly turning his face to hide.

"Leave me alone." He voice was rough as  if he been crying.

"Daeron, what's going on." I ask looking up at the tree, my hand went to my belly  feeling anxious at how high he was. 

"Go away." I sigh desperately looking up at him.

"Please, Daeron. I only came to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine! Are you happy? Now, leave me alone." He snapped causing me to look up at him sadly.

"Daeron, please come down, whatever is on your mind we can talk–" Daeron turn his head to look down at me with a scrunch up red face.

"I don't want to talk you, or anyone at that matter." He hissed every word filled with vemon, "So, fuck off." He added turning away again.

I huff through my nose looking up at him, I look at the tree for a minute before stepping towards it and getting on my tippy toes.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"If you won't come down and talk, then I come up." I said holding on to the tree before lifting my foot to try to climb.

"Jaenara just leave me alone, and stop that! Before you hurt yourself." I shook my head as I boost myself up as I grab onto the branch before pausing to look up.

"I'll stop if you talk to me." Daeron's eyes held so much conflict that his silence made me move again, I gasp when my foot slip but lucky enough I was still holding tight on the branch.

"Jaenara! Stop it. You going to hurt yourself and the babe, do your being stupid." I let out a breathless chuckle.

"Well, I do stupid things for the people I love, I don't know what to tell you." I utter but by the way daeron was silent made known he heard me, I yelp sliding down the body of the tree to land on my butt, "...ow." I mutter, I heard daemon gasp and call my name, the sound of rustling made me look from me rubbing my bottom to daeron getting out of the tree to come to my side.

"By the gods, jaenara. Are you okay?" He asked worried making me give him a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine just fell on my butt." Daeron grabbed my elbow helping off the ground, I brush off the dirt from my dress before looking at daeron, "Daeron, I'm sorry..." The young prince look at me with a mixture if confusion and shock, "...I know I put you in a situation you didnt want to be in, but the way you been acting has me worried about you." I confess.

Daeron looks down meekly with a defeated look, "You know whatever it is that is bothering you, you can tell me right. You know I will not judge you." Daeron sniffle moving his hand to wipe his nose on his sleeve.

"But, you will be angry with me." He utter making me give him a look.

"I can never be angry at you, nothing can make me mad at you." I reach my hand to touch his cheek only for him to flinch away, I frown at the way his eyes welled when he look at me, "...Daeron, whatever it is I promise you on my aunt and everyone I love life that I will not be mad at you...never. You mean too much to me for me to ever hold any anger in my heart for you, so i ask again, please tell me what is wrong. " Daeron's chin started to wobble a bit along with his bottom lip, before I knew it he throw his arms around me and sob.

The sound that came from my uncle broke my heart, it felt like someone was squeezing it making it hard to breathe. I slowly wrap my arms around him, my hand move to massage his hair as he cries.

"...I-I didn't want to go...b-but aegon made me," Daeron wept, "...I'm sorry, jaenara...I'm so so sorry," My head was spiraling to what he was apologizing for, and as I sense a feeling in my gut that made me hold Daeron to me tighter.

My mind goes to aunt rhaelle and uncle daemon, a memory that I don't remember played in my head and soon a feeling of anger spread through my body.

"It's alright, daeron." I rub his back, "...everything's going to be alright, sweet boy." I whispered burying my face in his hair before kissing his hairline.

「                            ⊹₊♚₊⊹                           」

I watch Daeron's sleeping form in my bed, once we came back to my chamber, daeron finally explain what been eating at him. Once he was finish, he went back to crying and I held him as he did, I didn't know what to do but sooth him and assure him that I wasn't angry with him. I shook my head and pushing those thoughts aside hearing the a gentle knock at the door.

I turn around and opened the door to see Enith, she smiles at me and I return the gesture. I step aside and she walked in her eyes going straight to daeron, i could see in her eyes that she was confuse and worried to see Daeron here.

"I must go." I said making Enith turn her attention back to me, "I'll won't be gone long." Enith frown a bit.

"Where are you going?" She asked, my eyes bounce over to daeron before going back to Enith.

"To have a little talk with aegon." I respond, "If he wakes tell him that I'm running a errand, okay." Enith's brow twitch before nodding her head, I smile at Enith before turning on my heel.

I close the door behind me and make my way down the corridor, I half expected Enith to stop me, to talk some sense to me. I know she knows that something is wrong and that visiting Aegon is out of character for me, I wonder if she knows about what happened to daeron with her witchy powers.

I turn the corner before stopping when I see Aemond coming down the hall, it took a moment for him to notice me and he smiled my way.

"My love, I was just about to come see you...." He smiles widely, I glance around thinking, if aemond founds out I was going to see Aegon. He definitely would stop me, but I can't let aegon's action go unpunished nor can I let aemond take care of it.

I have no doubt he pick his brother's side over thus.

"Jaenara." He called softly standing in front me, I look up at him as he stare down at me with curious expression.

"Sorry, my love. What did you say?" I ask moving around, he follow suit and walk beside me.

"I was thinking about names for the babe," he says, I hum telling him to continue, "I have two I wish to name our boy, the first is Alaric a masculine name from my mother. She says it means all powerful ruler." I glance at him as he grins, I refrained from rolling my eyes, there was no way in all seven hells I was naming my boy after that fool wench.

"And the other one." I ask.

"Maegor." I stop and turn to him with a look, "...I know but I doubt our son will end up like maegor the first, and beside I think he can give different meaning to the name. Imagine, he could be maegor the clever or maegor the righteous." He smirk at the thought, I could only hum in response before continue on my way.

It was quiet between us, my mind was wielding on what I was going to do once I get to Aegon's chamber. I was stomp. I didn't know why I was doing this or why I was making it into something more than what it was, maybe I wanted to show daeron that I cared and that I am with him. Something in the back of my mind was telling me how stupid it is to confront aegon about taking daeron to the brothel, he was a boy, I understood that men should know what to expect during their consummation. But, the way daeron was acting says there was more but he was still afraid to tell me, and something deep in my gut told me that I had to do this. That I had to protect  him.

I was brought back to the present by Aemond's hand on my wrist stopping me from going towards Aegon's door.

"Why are we visiting Aegon." Aemond ask looking at me.

"We're not. I am." I replied moving to step forward only to be stopped again.

"Why." He demanded making me give him a look.

"I have something to ask." I said with a edge in my voice to show aemond I wasn't in no mood for him or his jealousy.

"What about?" He asked again with a annoyed look, I glare at him before I could tell him none of his business.

Aegon's door opened making us look over, a servant with wild red hair appeared with a tray in one hand. She look at us in shock before fixing her face and averting her eyes, she bow towards us acknowledging our presents before swiftly stalking away down the hall leaving Aegon's door open. I slip my from Aemond's grasp and he called my name as I walk into the room, I stop a few feet away from the door as I scrunch up my nose at the odor in the room. It didn't take long to realize what just occur in here, I look over at aegon as he stood at the table with a cup in his hand wearing nothing but his trousers.

I cleared my throat catching Aegon's attention, he grin and open his arms to me.

"Neice, what do I owe you and my one-eye brother visit." He ask pulling out a chair and taking a seat, I glare at him at the insult towards aemond.

"Always nice to see you sober, brother." Aemond replied from behind me as Aegon grab a apple from the bowl in the middle on the table before biting into it.

"Oh, Aemond. You know I only jest, little brother." Aegon smirk.

I heard Aemond growl making me step forward catching Aegon's attention, "Apologies for the intrusion, uncle. But, I hoping you can shed some light on something for me." Aegon look at me surprised before he nodded his hand.

"Alright." He sat up straight in his chair with his leg resting on his thigh.

I gave a breif smile before speaking, "Daeron has told me on his and yours visit to the brothels in fleabotton..." Aegon raise his brow before a grin cross his lips.

"And you wish to visit, sweet neice. I am flattered that you wish attend with me, I am sure I can find a man there who be happy to fuck your flower...even with your predicament. " He glance at my stomach before looking at me, I scoff in disgust.

"That's not--"

"I always knew you were a cuck, brother." Aegon spoke over me to look over my shoulder at his brother, "He used always peek inside to watch me, the little freak." He chortle before looking back at me.

My brows twitch making my mind wonder for a moment before I shook my head, "What happened at the brothel?" I said cutting to the chase, aegon grabs his cup before stopping it near his lips.

"What do you mean? It sorta obvious what we did there." He says, I furrow my brows as aegon drink from his cup.

"What did Daeron do there?" I asked wanting to clarify on what daeron was doing.

Aegon look at me before looking at his brother who move to stand next to me.

"Is the pregnancy getting to her brain already, brother. Or is this what you been complaining about to mother about." He said making me clench my jaw.

"I have no idea what your talking about, jaenara let's go so we can leave my brother to drown in his cup in peace." Aemond turns to me touching my arm but I ignore him as my patience

"What don't you just come out and say it," I snap crossing my arms over my chest, aegon narrow his eyes at me as if trying to figure me out.

"Why do you care?" He asked.

"Because something happened and I want to know what it was." I shouted.

Aegon gave a eyeroll before draining his cup before slamming it down on the table, "It simple, neice. I took Daeron there to make him a man, and last I remember he left satisfied." I eye him.

"I beg the differ." Aegon scoff before looking away from me.

"You know brother I use to envy the fact that you got our sweet neice while I got stuck with helaena," Aegon sneer, "But, now I see that the gods where on my side by sparing me eternity with her."

"Well, your not a gift from the gods either Aegon," I snark back making him snap his eyes at me with a glare, "All you ever done is drink and fuck your way through life‐‐"

"And I will die a happy man because of it, neice." He grins.

"Yes, a happy and deserted man surrounded by nothing but whores who wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire." Aegon smile falter to angry frown.

"Maybe, but atleast I can count on a whore to shut her mouth and take my cock."

"Is that why you like them more, uncle? Because unlike the ladies in court or the servants here, they would rather slit their throats than be touch by a foul thing like you." Aegon grits his teeth.

"You little wh--"

"Alright, that's enough." Aemond shouted as he move to stand between me and aegon, he turn to me with a look, "Jaenara, we're leaving. Whatever this is doesn't concern us--" I snap my gaze to ae.ond.

"If not us than who then." I snapped angrily, aemond looks mildly taken back, "Are we really going to ignore that he took a child to a brothel, and allow him to have his virtue taken from him without a second thought." Aemond was silent at my words.

Aegon let out a snicker making me look at him, "Virtue? Is that what he got that from...you?" Aegon let out another snicker making me grow angry, "All that talking about waiting until marriage all came from you, gods I would have thought your marriage with my brother would have taught you something, stupid girl." He smirk making me rise my chin with a stern look.

"I learn a lot from my marriage, including how to rise above insufferable people." I spat, "That what makes me better than you and your mother, and that is also why daeron will always be better than you too." Aegon's expression was cold and hard.

I turn my back to him feeling proud to make him feel as low as he should, aegon was nothing but a arrogant and spoiled, no thanks to his mother and grandfather.

"That fucking prat is not better than me, his a craven who couldn't stop crying throughout the whole thing like a baby." He snapped angrily, "And then ran off sobbing like a little girl who got her favorite gown ruined, I am way better than that whimpering little shit." Aegon spit out making me turn to him, he was standing with his hands in fists and his wife twisted.

"He was crying?" I whispered.

Aegon looked just as equally taken back by his words than me, he stuttered for a second before getting the words out.

"...w-whimpering, he was whimpering--"

"And you didn't think to stop them." Aegon wore a look before shaking his head as a scowl return to his features.

"There was nothing to stop he was moaning...he was enjoying himself." Aegon sounded almost like he was defendeding himself, I couldn't help but look at him a certain way making him take notice and snap, "I dont have to explain myself to you, if daeron wanted to stop he would have. But, he didn't. He liked it--"

"How can you be so sure." I blurted, "You said he was crying and that he ran out, did you go look for him to see if he was okay?" Aegon stay silent, "Did you really think he was enjoying himself--"

"Aemond did the same thing, and he came back the next day and got his cock sucked." Aegon said exasperated, I look at him in disbelief.

"Did daeron come back the next day, aegon?" Aegon was silent once again, a feeling in my stomach made me feel sick making me place my hand on top, I couldn't help but glance down at my belly and wonder what I would do if that happened to my baby boy, my flesh and blood.

"It was nothing...he was exaggerating." Aegon finally utter, I look at him with a disgusted look.

"If it was helaena in his place would you think she was exaggerating," Aemond and Aegon looked at me with a mixture of emotions that she could only describe as anger and fear, "What about your little boy, jaehaerys, would you think it was nothing if daeron dragged him into one of those places and ignore his cries. Would that be nothing, uncle." Aegon turn his head with conflicted look, I blink trying to get rid of the hot tears, "No child should to have to go through that, and no parent shouldn't have to watch their little boy have the light snuff right out of them." Aegon bowed his head as his lip twit into a snarl.

"Get out of my room." He demanded not looking up.

I turn on my heels without a word or fight, I left the room leaving aegon and aemond in the uncomfortable silence. It wasn't long before awmond catch up with me, he grab my elbow stopping me in the hall, I face him bit didn't look at his face but rather his collar.

"Are you okay?" He asked, I furrow my brows before straighten them to look up at aemond.

"I'm not the one you should be asking that to." I replied with a dry tone, aemond nod looking embarrassed and went quiet.

I look down as his hands slide down my arm to grab my hands after a moment of silence between us, he let out a deep sigh, "What do you want me to do?" He asked as if wanting to know what his next order was from me, I look back up at him with a confuse and unsure look.

A devious thought crossed my mind, I was hesitant for a second contemplating if I should say it out loud or not. But, the words aegon said not too long ago played in my head like a taunt, and my anger once again flared.

"I would like you to found out what brothel aegon took daeron, and set fire to it with those whores inside." The words came out steady and clear, my words didn't mush together or come out shaky. It was clear what I wanted, aemond pulled me close so he could rest his chin on top my of head as he hold me.

"I'll do." He whispered, "I'll do anything for you, anything."

[notmorbid]

...best american short stories.

dialogue prompts from 100 years of the best american short stories, edited by lorrie moore and heidi pitlor.

death-bed promises should be broken as lightly as they are seriously made.

the dead have no right to lay their clammy fingers upon the living.

if you're going to snore, go to bed!

you look as if you'd seen a ghost or found a gold mine. i don't know which.

i don't expect to marry anybody.

don't ever bet on anything.

i didn’t realize it, but the days came along one after another, and then two years were gone, and everything was gone, and i was gone.

we've suffered like everybody, but on the whole it's a good deal pleasanter.

we were a sort of royalty, almost infallible, with a sort of magic around us.

i should think you'd have had enough of bars.

don't you want a cocktail before dinner?

i want to get to know you.

i don't really need much taking care of anymore.

i don't want you to forget.

have you got a picture of ___?

family quarrels are bitter things. they don't go according to rules.

i was caught in a trap. it wasn't set for me, but it got me all the same.

you wanted a story, so i gave you a good one.

write me a letter. don't forget. i'll be waiting.

my dreams never renege on me. they're all i have to go by.

i don't put the respect on dreams i once did.

are you sure nobody knows where i am?

i don't see why you should ever be afraid of anything.

you know i'd take care of you if anything ever happened, don't you?

don't go away. stay and talk.

you don't have to worry, you know. i wouldn't ever let anything happen to you.

i wish you wouldn't look so unhappy.

i didn't think you saw me. not at first.

how can you get away from anything here?

we're all human on earth.

we couldn't get away from each other if we tried.

i don't want to do a thing from now on till evermore.

sometimes there are about fifteen or twenty minutes in the week when i feel like myself.

i thought it might make you happy. i wanted to make you happy.

and what if they can hear us? who cares?

i thought you were too smart to get hung.

i swear if i'd known what i was doing i would have never hurt you so.

maybe it does some good if you believe it.

i hope you'll remember the things i tried to teach you.

honey, there's a lot that you don't know. but you are going to find it out.

don't you forget what i told you, you hear?

i think people ought to do what they want to do. what else are they alive for?

i can't forget where i've been, and what i've been.

i can't really talk about it. not to you, not to anybody.

don't be a martyr.

with the world in the mess it's in, it's a wonder we can enjoy anything.

if you know who you are, you can go anywhere.

buck up. it won't kill you.

i wish you'd talk to me.

don't you ever want to rest?

i think death is a wonderful thing. i look forward to it.

what tone? i didn't take any tone.

you give everyone too much. that's your trouble.

mad at me, huh?

i don't know why i did it. i'm sorry for it, isn't that enough?

god listened and didn't say yes or no.

you should have gone after them with an ax.

you've been lucky. you always have been.

i bet you're afraid of me.

why aren't you married? you're not ugly. are you gay or something?

how nice. you always try to say the right thing.

you can't seem to keep your mind on one thing for more than a minute at a time.

it's not exactly the kind of thing you can bring up over lunch.

can you keep a secret about what i did today?

i thought when i left, it would just go away.

i want more days like that.

you don't have a heart. there's nothing to love in you.

would you tell me something if i asked you? would you tell me the truth?

other people's dreams are boring.

two salaries and no kids, that's the way to go.

i always seem to miss you.

i don't think i'll ever be dead enough --- or dead long enough --- to get the taste of this life off my teeth.

your optimism always surprises me.

pick on someone your own size.

promise you won't get mad?

i could yell at you, but why waste my breath?

better late than never. i was sure i'd see you someday.

you're a regular whirling dervish.

i don't watch tv. i don't own one.

how do you connect with the rest of the world?

did you like growing up there?

i don't usually say stuff like that.

i've been getting these mixed signals from you. i can't tell if you're attracted to me or not.

you don't have to love me. i love you enough for both of us.

group sex is for teenagers.

i think our hopes are made when we are young, and we can never adjust them to the real world.

how long can you use your parents as an excuse?

a life is like a house. one has to plan carefully where all the furniture will go.

mr. grief and i went a few rounds.

if you think about fear, then you'll be afraid.

i want to be a hero, you know?

you can always trust unhappiness.

i will keep coming until you speak to me.

what brings you here after all these years?

can i hug you? i'd really like to give you a hug.

i worried about you the whole time.

i wanted to be with you all the time.

the moment you fall in love with someone, you are lost.

i had to let you make your own mistakes.