#but in a nice and professional way

[thedeathwitchescats]

My boyfriend needs to stop... not abusing me??????

[humming-fly]

Inktober Day 25 - Alpha Gaming

Today I thought I'd go ahead and hunt down that new hedgehog game everyone’s so excited about, since I had a target giftcard and it's been a hot sec since I played one of these - was fully planning to hop on that cool winged shadow trend for the inktober to commemorate my success, but that changed 15 seconds into the first stage when I remembered I actually suck shit at sonic games 👍

[royalarchivist]

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

[mrmeepsmadmind]

they are ignoring my big beautiful pathetic himbo wife and his cute little platypus tail that he has for some tank part reason im too dumb to understand why

[razzafrazzle]

notes app sara using the preset colors 4 funsies

[image description: a drawing of an original character named sara, a curvy humanoid woman with short curled dark hair and a fuse coming from the back of her head. she is wearing a shiny red dress, along with matching gloves and boots. around her are small doodled patterns and stickers. the entire drawing is done in bright, neon colors and is done in a very sketchy style. end id]

[knivestothroats]

The Professionals - Dreamcatcher

The Professionals masterlist || In The Woods Somewhere masterlist || Professional//Victim masterlist Not a lot of content warnings on this one. Just someone makes gross sexual comments.

Tommy made sure there were no trainees around before he approached Fletcher. They were sitting by the window with a book and a drink.

“Would it be alright… if I, um… slept in your room again?” Tommy asked.

“Why?” 

Fletcher’s tone had a flat sort of quality Tommy was becoming familiar with. It wasn’t monotone, but it portrayed an unimpressed lack of interest that gave it an almost challenging quality, forcing the other speaker to explain and prove themselves worthy of Fletcher’s attention. 

Tommy deflated a little. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he asked. Maybe a blunt no, maybe mockery. An easy yes would be a surprise, but it didn’t seem so impossible as to prevent him from trying. 

“You have the dreamcatcher,” he answered.

Fletcher had been raising their drink to their lips, and it paused for a beat on its journey up. They took a sip, contemplated, and asked, “Do you think it works?”

“Well…” Tommy had only slept beneath it once, but he hadn’t woken up with his heart pounding in a cold sweat. “Do you? It’s in your room.”

Fletcher took another sip, then set their drink down, looking out the window.

“It’s supposed to catch the nightmares before they get into your dreams. And then they’re destroyed when the sun comes up,” Fletcher said. They looked back at Tommy. “Unfortunately, I think the call is coming from inside the house on this one. But, more to the point - you really want to sleep in the same bed as me?”

Tommy nodded, picking at his nails nervously.

Fletcher tapped their thumb against the open page of their book. “Okay.”

Tommy lit up. “Really?”

Fletcher shrugged. “It’s fine, as long as you… aren’t weird about it.”

Tommy nodded enthusiastically, even though he wasn’t quite sure what Fletcher counted as acting “weird.”

It became a more common occurrence. 

Tommy tried not to push it, and would space it out with enough nights sleeping in his own bed. But although it was better than his basement room, it always felt cold and lonely. To have the warmth and contact of another person, even someone as dangerous and volatile as Fletcher, offered enough comfort to ease him to sleep.

Plus, frankly, Fletcher had a more comfortable bed.

Fletcher would never admit that they liked the arrangement. They had to act, every time, like they were thinking it over and then agreeing to allow it.

It started out the same. Fletcher would lay on one side, facing away from Tommy. Tommy would wait on his side, and after what he hoped was enough of a delay - although the wait got a little shorter every time - he would scoot over until some part of him was brushing up against Fletcher. 

Fletcher would wake up at some point during the night, always a restless sleeper. They would turn and wrap their arm around Tommy, holding him close, and fall back asleep.

Fletcher would wake up first, disentangle themself, get out of bed, and then wake Tommy up to kick him out of their room.

In their mind, they were getting away with it; that Tommy never knew how Fletcher would hold him in the night. 

It was probably naive to think that he never woke up and noticed. But when you’re half-asleep and comfortable, those things don’t really seem to matter.

And if Tommy did know, he was wise enough never to let on. And that would have to do. 

~

Fletcher was meal prepping in the kitchen when one of the trainees approached them. His surname was Williams, but people called him Billy. He had a douchey, jock, fratboy vibe that probably would’ve led Fletcher to get into a fistfight with him in their young punk years. Very, “my daddy was in the military and I inherited the violence and the self-aggrandizement but not the discipline.” But, Fletcher was a mature adult now, or whatever, and they weren’t going to stoop to petty fights with their students. It’s not like this line of business attracted many socially well-adjusted individuals. 

They did, however, call him Willy sometimes, because they could tell it annoyed him.

Billy leaned against the counter casually, folding his arms across his chest.

“That Tommy’s pretty cute,” he said.

“Mm? Got a little crush going, Billy?” Fletcher said without looking up.

“More like a boner.”

Fletcher wrinkled their nose. “Okay. TMI. You just hit puberty or something?”

“He any good in the sack?”

“Why the fuck would I know that?”

“C’mon,” Williams snickered. “I know how much time he spends in your room at night. I’m not stupid.”

“Debatable.”

“Can anyone take him for a spin, or are you keeping him all to yourself?” Williams asked.

Fletcher didn’t answer right away, continuing to focus on their food prep.

“You know, it’s wise to know what you’re talking about before you talk at all,” they said.

Williams paused. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m not fucking him, and neither are you.” They turned to face Williams. “And I don’t like that you think you know what goes on with me. You don’t know shit. You’re making bold fucking claims, and that’s the kind of shit that gets you in trouble.”

“Well, what else could you be doing?”

“I could explain.” Fletcher turned back to their work.

Williams waited. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to explain?”

“Why the fuck should I?” Fletcher said. “I don’t care about you enough.”

He scoffed. “Then I’m going to keep on believing what I said.”

“Sure,” Fletcher shrugged. “Cling to information I told you was wrong. No flaws in that plan. We love purposeful ignorance. Stay stupid - gangs need dumb grunts to do the shit work.”

Williams pushed off from the counter with a scoff. “Fuck you,” he muttered, beginning to stomp off.

Fletcher dropped their knife on the cutting board. 

“Hey, Williams.”

He stopped and looked back. Fletcher gestured him over. 

Once he was close enough, Fletcher punched him in the nose. He groaned in surprise and pain, clutching his face.

“Fuck you,” Fletcher said back. They returned to their work. 

@suspicious-whumping-egg @whumpyourdamnpears @generic-whumperz @lonesome--hunter

@whumplr-reader @theelvishcowgirl @sunshiline-writes @dont-be-gentle-please @galesgallery

@2in1whump @sparrowsage @apokolyps @whumpinggrounds

@morning-star-whump @leviiio @alexmundaythrufriday

@defire @jumpywhumpywriter @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees

@light-me-on-pyre @slightlydisturbedbeans @dislexiher @paperprinxe @desert-dyke

@just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @burtlederp @whatwasmyprevioususername @cursedandtired

@whump-only @misspelledwitch @redstainedsocks @thehopelessopus @im-just-here-for-the-whump

@thatsthewhump @utopian819 @pretty-face-breaker @thesuffererrrr

[plounce]

elle and emmett from the legally blonde musical are one of those m/f couples that i think work best as a woman and a man purely because their relationship and how elle wouldn't stay at harvard for him because she has grown to want true respect & success more than a man she loves' approval/desire is like so important to the themes of the story and it's the whole point and it's part of what makes them so good. on the other hand emmett could be such a hot butch lesbian it's crazy i want to eat drywall when i think about emmett forrest but a butch lesbian BUT it simply would not improve and in fact would detract from the themes of the story. they have to be m/f

[vvitchering]

I have an interview for a potentially lifestyle changing job tomorrow and I am going to vibrate out of this dimension with the amount of anxiety I am experiencing over it. If you have any to spare, good vibes would be intensely appreciated. Or advice on how to nail a corporate interview. I could use that too.

[gayvampyr]

every time i look online for interview dress attire on a budget or with limited options without fail i see “dress shoes or loafers ONLY” “wear slacks or a pencil skirt” i have black converse or combat boots and all of my clothes are thrifted. those are the options. which can i wear without my resume getting thrown out

[mixmioart]

Survived holding my first ever drawing workshop today🫡

[uncanny-tranny]

I love giving advice, apparently, so if you are a newly pierced person or are planning on being pierced, here are some of the things I found helpful, as somebody who isn't a professional piercer but has had six plus piercings on my face and body, and multiple ear piercings (which I don't count, since I DIY'd them):

Normal bath towels are your enemy, proceed with caution after bathing. NEVER wipe moisture away from a fresh piercing, always pat it dry

You will hit a new piercing and it will hurt. This is inevitable, just know that you likely haven't destroyed it. Feel free to cry, though, it hurts like hell.

If your piercer gives you instructions, heed them. If you're on restrictions, please take it as seriously as possible

When you're going in for a piercing, please eat or drink something - at least what constitutes as a snack for your body. It really helps

If you're getting an oral piercing, make sure you size down after the healing period - I hadn't sized down for my last oral piercing when I first had the chance, and it was... so annoying to have too-large of jewelry

Not all jewelry is made equally. Do your research on materials, threading, and sizing. I've found that titanium jewelry is really nice for me, and I like it, but that isn't the only option. Make sure you think about your body and its needs and preferences

Close your eyes while being pierced (I found this really helps me)

Don't over-clean a new piercing, twice per day is usually a good place to start

The completed healing period is a very average suggestion - you may heal slower or faster. Try to adhere to that suggestion, though, especially if you do not feel you're healed enough

Personally, I have found that I am completely healed when my piercing feels like just another part of my body, even when it is touched. When my piercings start to feel as though they are foreign when they never do before, I know I likely need to clean them

While I have DIY'd piercings, I personally do not recommend it, especially if you are either not using sterilized equipment, or are piercing a very dangerous place (like the tongue). If you are absolutely positive about committing to the DIY mindset, please try to do due diligence in research at least

Tip your piercer. Body mods are a luxury service, and it takes years to even become a piercer, much less to be proficient at it. Tip your piercer, ESPECIALLY if their prices feel too good to be true - they likely are. Unless you are directed otherwise by your piercer, just assume that you will be tipping them for their services and budget accordingly

Make sure you understand how your piercer wants you to take care of your piercing, and ask questions. There is no question too "dumb"

If you are getting a body part pierced you are insecure about, realize your piercer has most likely seen HUNDREDS of different body parts of various sizes, shapes, and oddities. Your body is not uniquely bad, nor would a good piercer make you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable with your body. If they do, however, DO NOT go through with the piercing. You should feel safe being pierced by somebody, and, indeed, that is the bare minimum.

If you use saline wash to clean piercings, you can DIY it. You will go through NeilMed like no other, and with it being $5USD a bottle, that price can rack up quickly. Make sure you use distilled water and non-iodized salt, though

If your piercing is infected, please don't be too ashamed to seek help. It's in your best interest to make sure you don't get ill or your site gets nasty ("nasty" as in painful)

These are just some of the things I've learned being a pierced person! My piercings are something I absolutely needed, and I do not for a minute regret having them. I want that same happiness to befall you, and that happens when you are able to understand a bit more what goes into piercings. You are, essentially, getting a new body part installed by a pro, and so I don't want you to not be ready for that.

Again, I am not a professional piercer, but am rather a body piercing enthusiast with many different types of piercings. I don't have every piercing, though, so please look at this critically for the piercing(s) that you want or have. At least, treat this like a soft suggestion or ways to help you brainstorm what you will find helpful.

More tips are obviously welcomed, especially if you yourself have more insight or expertise. Good luck to every pierced person or future pierced person reading this💛

[numbuh]

i just want to put them in the same room and see what happens

[designernishiki]

tbh it really feels to me that y3 was implying/hinting at minedai having had at least some sort of under the radar romantic relationship, rather than just mine alone having an extreme one-sided obsession with daigo– like… based on how daigo talks to him and how immediately concerned he is for mine, all of which right after mine admits outright that he Loves (capital L) him to kiryu and all that… it feels more like a reveal of their relationship having been romantic than a reveal of mine’s feelings alone. I need to lay down

[bmpmp3]

dave :)

[vilelittlecritter]

Ha ha I don't know what I want to do with my life and I feel unsatisfied with my current condition!

[hearts401]

We need to start treating bad writing like bad art and im not kidding