#but im without a comp for a little while longer

[shippingmyworld]

Not really a writing prompt but I've been thinking about what would happen if tigerghost got their powers temporarily swapped. Let's say Jimmy recently invents a device that can do that and they gets asked to test it, saying it will be like some sort of team exercise. So now it's Manny with the ghost powers and Danny with the El Tigre belt and they have to teach eachother how to use the others powers. Hijinks and better understanding of life in eachother's shoes ensues yadda yadda yadda. I just want your take on that scenario. Heck, I might make art of that if I feel like it but who knows I actually need to practice drawing the first :P

Ohhhh this is a concept I've never thought of before. But the first thing that popped into my head was that Danny would be having an existential crisis about turning his bf into a ghost ("Oh my God, does this mean we killed my boyfriend?"). SpongeBob's gotta calm him down a bit while Jimmy works on reversing the power swap.

Meanwhile, Mannys having the time of his life being able to fly around and his prank game has never been greater (Jenny and Timmy end up being his victims for most of the day).

And yeah I think Mannys enjoyment of Danny's powers would totally give Danny another perspective and totally convince him to start enjoying himself a little more. Once the powers are swapped back, Danny would totally start parking the others around HQ just to make Manny laugh.

[pepsiwatermelon]

I think a lot of people, especially younger people who weren't integrated into the otherkin community before they started making their kin lists, don't realize that it's always been at it's base a spiritual identity. I'm not a hard gatekeeper, if someone sees like, Bakugo or whatever, and goes "oh shit he's literally me" and doesn't introspect farther than that, I'm not gonna tell them they can't be otherkin. But if you're going around being like "oh yeah I just relate to him, I'm not like these ✨ crazies ✨ who actually believe they're Eda Owlhouse, or a dog, or a dragon lololol" then congrats, you're both ableist as hell and not fucking otherkin man. You just think a character is neat. And that's okay!

Plus a lot of people are forgetting that otherkin and therian overlap widely. Hell, I bet a lot of newer self identified kin folk don't even know what therian is. When people genuinely new to the kin community ask me for my kin list, they're surprised and confused when I say deerkin, dragonkin. They think when I say I'm angelkin, specifically Lucifer, that I identify as a blorbo from their shows, and no I don't. Otherkin doesn't mean you identify as blorbo from your shows. I mean, it totally can! That's also extremely valid, our old host fully identified as Sam Winchester and The Batter on top of these other kintypes. But it's not JUST that, and in tired of getting erased and added to like, cringe comps by PEOPLE WHO CALL THEMSELVES OTHERKIN because I want to connect to my spirituality.

Also, when I say "people who call themselves otherkin" I mean literally just that- not that I think these people are faking or whatever. But if you're kin-for-fun and are self-identifying and CHOOSING this community, learn your history. Respect the people who's experiences you don't understand. Iirc, otherkin in the form I'm familiar with has existed since the 70's. Therians even longer before, though I'm admittedly not as educated on that one because I don't generally ID as therian despite having deer as a kintype and "qualifying".

It's, at it's core, a spiritual identity, and y'all are forgetting that. It's not a funny little roleplay game, that's being a furry or a cosplayer. Which is fine! I am also both of those! But if you're coming into the otherkin community, as a newer otherkin or an outsider, do your research. Talk to people who've been in the community for a while. I've been here for what, like nine or ten years now. Some of my mutuals and other friends even longer. It's more than just "lol I'm soooo like komeda 🤪" and while yeah that can be part of it, we have such a more in-depth and RICH history.

I used to get death threats and gore because I was openly otherkin. Now, being "a kinnie" is more normalized, but only within a very narrow window of expression that can go TikTok trending. Im glad these kids can express themselves without having to worry about what I did. But so many turn around and make fun of those of us who genuinely feel a spiritual connection to our kintype, and it's disheartening.

[reynauldapologist]

What darkest dungeon mods do you like? I'm think abt doing another run. Confide in me your secrets.

i use a lot of different ones for different runs, and they all impact the game in radically different ways, so i’ll break them down into categories to make things easier:

aesthetic/non-impactful mods:

[these are either skin mods or only change a very small aspect of the game]

Remove Narrator from Endless Loading Screen 

this does exactly what it says. you no longer have to listen to Grampy Darkest give his dissertation on why he’s the Most Evil and Fucked Up Guy around every time you wanna hop back into the farmstead. 

Perfect Faster Dungeon 

CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS ONE ENOUGH!!! i have no clue how i ever played this game without it. it increases walking speed, combat pacing, scouting, and end screen results without choppiness or awkward animations. this is perfect if you’re a weirdo like me and you’re trying to grind for all of the achievements or if you’re a longtime player or if you simply have a need for speed

Unofficial Palette Expansion Pack

hands down my favorite skin mod ever! it gives each base game class five new palettes to choose from. the recolors are subtle, but very well-done and visually unique, and they blend right in with the rest of the game. if you value immersion from your mods like i do, you’ll really like this one. there are also palette expansion packs by the same creator for the flagellant, shieldbreaker, and musketeer

Jester On-The-Run

i installed this one shortly after starting my all-jester run. i adore the design and how well it blends into the game’s art style. i almost like this one better than his canon skin, it fits his backstory much better

annnnd since i was neck-deep in crusaders and ONLY crusaders for a little while, i ended up installing quite a few crusader skins, which i’ll now dump here:

Warden Crusader Skin / Deus Vult Skin Set / Crusader Soul of Cinders Skins / Accurate Templar Crusader Palette / Crusader Knight Skin

class mods

[note: i haven’t had the chance to mess around with these in an actual run yet, i added these to my longest save after i had already beaten the final boss]

The Veiled

i haven’t had the chance to utilize the veiled much in my expeditions, but a lot of love and effort went into this mod and it really shows. he uses similar mechanics as the flagellant - the closer to death he is, the more powerful he becomes - but cranked up to nine. he has great healing and offensive abilities, as well as a decent debuff skillset. this mod has fantastic art, of course, and would probably fit right in with a good mark team

The Commandant

it might take you a little while to learn how to properly use this guy, but once you do it’s well worth the effort. he’s a great debuff/stress healing support class if utilized correctly, but he can dish out some heavy damage of his own if you have a little patience. cool aesthetics and a unique concept elevate this class quite a bit for me

The Stargazer

this dude is the definition of a glass canon. super low HP, but high dodge and the potential to deal out some serious damage. he has two states, each with four abilities (kinda like abom!), that he has a 40% chance of switching between, making him a decently versatile class, if a little unpredictable. he was made with the intention of being a color of madness specific class, in the same way that the flagellant was made for the crimson court. i was first drawn to his aesthetics tbh, i adore all the work that went into designing this mod, from the design to the unique animations and sounds

script/gameplay mods

[these mods fundamentally change the gameplay]

Bigger Balanced Roster - Max 99

does what you would expect: increases your roster to 99. i use this for my completed save, so that i can test out different comps and class mods to my heart’s content. i wouldn’t recommend this for a serious run, because it totally destroys a core aspect of the game’s difficulty lmao. i haven’t encountered any bugs with this one and i still receive 1-4 lvl heroes in my stagecoach regularly

Crusader Only

here it is. the mod that took over my life for six months. does what it says: ensures that only crusaders show up in your stagecoach and eliminates all non-crusader class-specific trinkets. i didn’t encounter any bugs with this mod at all. this creator has also made [class]-only mods for all of the other heroes, including a bunch of different combos (like crusader-arbalest only, shieldbreaker-flagellant only, etc). check out their work if you’re interested in Testing Your Patience Abilities

Eternal Fanatic

typically, once you’ve killed the countess, the fanatic will cease spawning. this is great if you're a normal person with a healthy relationship to video games, not so great if you’re a completionist and a cautious scaredy-cat and have successfully avoided him during your entire Crimson Court run. activating this mod on a save means that the fanatic will begin spawning again, albeit with a slightly lower chance. once you’re sick of him, you can deactivate the mod and play normally once again. 

Last Man Standing

aka Reynauld Goes Beast Mode. this mod restricts you to one hero - Reynauld - and forces you to use him and only him for the entirety of your run. all eight of his skills are active at once and buffed to the gills, he has seven total armor/weapon upgrades, and he can carry three trinkets at once. but that doesn’t mean this will be an easy endeavor. as you might have guessed, you can’t toss rey in the sanitarium to deal with pesky quirks or diseases or stress-heal him in the hamlet. you just have to tough it out. i would highly recommend you use this in conjunction with the Perfect Faster Dungeon mod above. unfortunately, this mod is rather buggy in its current state. ive had problems with reliable quest spawning and many of his skills don’t function the way their description says they should (such as his added riposte). im including it anyways because it’s a really cool concept and has a lot of potential! i’ll be keeping an eye on it

and that’s everything i regularly use! i hope this was helpful & good luck on your runs :)

[anteroom-of-death]

Life, For Dummies p6

a/n: so the words just flew out and boy. much thanks to all who read and commented and reblogged/liked! im sorry ahead of time! it will get uptempo again.optimism, babes.

You stood in the console room in wait, you had no clue the punishment that lay waiting. You didn’t know what was going to happen and that was worse than knowing. There had to be worse consequences for a consummate freak out that bordered on betrayal. 

For a snap you thought of just reverting back to being her companion just to smooth things over. To stop all the madness that was bound to ensue. But you didn’t. You held your ground, despite having to run away. 

You shivered involuntarily. You felt like a freezer that happened to be left open all night. You let yourself be crippled by everything. Seeing them left you blindsided, if you were a quarterback it’d have been a sack at the tenth yard line. 

Did that make the Master the coach?

You ended up stripping off your blazer and leaning over the console, mildly hyperventilating. Your arms glistening with sweat in the ambient lights. 

The door swung open and you hunched up. Jaw clenched your ringing in your ear came back, drowning all else out. 

You swore he was speaking but your mind was so swirled with thoughts and crackles and the persistent ring you ended up trying, “Get on with it, punish me. Kill me. You know I’m no good to you now.” but it came out garbled, as if you suffered a stroke. 

Maybe you did. 

You started a brief list of stroke symptoms but decided, was no use. If he was going to do what you thought, he’d probably use your own laser screwdriver against you. 

You suddenly remembered ages ago yourself in a similar situation. You disrespected him. You’d’ve done it three times now. 

If going by the sudden need for sports metaphors you were currently riding, third strike- you’re out. 

He wasn’t doing anything and that drove you absolutely insane. Clutching your sides, you spun around and met his eyes. Those eyes, so large and so beautiful and emotive were virtually unreadable. Your vision was getting blurry and your eyes started stinging. You were aghast with the day. It was a simple scheme. How could it go so wrong. You had heartburn. The acid was rising in your stomach and you tried to not hurl. The anticipation was getting to you on all levels. 

You elected to allow yourself to black out. You were headed that way, so you just gave into it without a fight. 

When you came to, you found yourself at your house, on your couch. Your favorite mug with your favorite tea blend was waiting for you and across the room leaning on your wall was him.

The Master. Your Master.

“Nice touch, passing out. Noble even.” His eyes yet again unreadable voids. 

Your head pounded and the back of your skull was a dull pain. 

You did notice and take appreciation from the pillows cupping you and your feet up.

“We need to talk.” His voice was just as unreadable as his eyes. The sentence flooded your throat and dropped into your stomach. You clenched your eyes and relaxed your jaw as you brought yourself up and cupped the mug gingerly. 

“Thank you.” You gave him a meager smile in genuine thanks. 

“Don’t think of it.” He waved it off.

He was uncharacteristically devoid of emotion or passion. Stoic. 

You took a few sips, letting the warmth and the taste give you strength and some comfort. You had lots of experience where this was going. Why fight it? He was an ageless alien and you were a human. The fact that he gave you all you got was phenomenal. 

You could feel your heart stop when you put it down. The silence was starting to get to you.

“I need some time.” He murmured, voice silky. 

“How long?” You hoarsely whispered. 

“No clue. I just need to process this.” 

What was processing time? Feasibly for him? You could be just here for a few moments and he could have taken centuries. Or he could have taken a day or 36 hours and you could already be dead. 

Maybe he was just telling you this to shake you off and stop more damage. 

You wanted to fight him on it. But how? Your jaw unlocked and lay slack. 

“You have a concussion. I’ve dealt with the necessary care. I put some pills that’ll take a week to heal you up properly.” He pointed towards the vicinity of your bathroom before pushing off your wall and headed towards a curio cabinet you really didn’t notice until now. 

Obviously, more than a week.

“Text me?” You said.

“Maybe.” He looked at you, his eyes were big and seemed filled with nothing but agony and resolve. 

You swore you saw his mouth move and a whisper of something you couldn’t make out. A different language.

He stepped in and the curio cabinet vanished from your living room. 

You leaned back, the Fam mentioned that your place was dusty, but obviously he must have broken out the dust buster. That was sweet of him to take care of the place before you were unceremoniously dumped on your ass. You went for your neck. The collar that you usually stroked in times of stress was gone, along with him. 

What was the date? You had no clue. Days passed, flooding into weeks. This agony of not knowing outweighed anything. You vaguely remembered the Covid-19 “shelter at home” but that was truly another life entirely. 

Twenty-twenty passed on and you had to get a new job, but nothing seemed to take for you. You’d either get fired for lackadaise or not showing up or quit out of the blue because you felt deep down you deserved better. Dozens of civilizations across the stars probably still spoke of you in hushed tones as a haughty goddess, or Queen sent by the divine. 

The nights were the roughest. A few times the cops were called because you were wailing in your sleep. They soon just stopped coming, unless your neighbors just accepted it as the new normal. 

If you could joke, and if you were in a joking mood, you’d probably remark how this was just like Bella Swan in New Moon “sksksksksk jksk lol!” But you weren’t anymore. You weren’t in a joking mood no matter what at the time. 

Life, without the Master, simply wasn’t worth living.

How could you go back? After all those stars seen? People met? And emotions felt. 

You felt your heart harden and break. 

You half thought of trying to push through the pain and see if you could somehow contact him. At least see if he was okay. Especially since you overheard the news at a metal bar you started working at that some strange lights followed by a subsonic explosion happened in a small city far away and there were confusing footages being leaked on social media of Daleks and death. It went away in a day, but still. You swore you heard a TARDIS in a few of the Facebook Lives people did as they died.  People thought it was a hoax. People were so dumb.

It made you ache. 

Maybe it was the Doctor, or the Master convincing them to go destroy somewhere more important. 

It was more likely her. 

You didn’t know which one would be worse, just in case more footage was released and you saw a flash of a face. 

You broke again, dropping the heavy drink laden tray on the ground and locking yourself in the walk-in fridge. Rackus sobbing came out of your chest like a snarling animal. You had to get yourself together before you lost the only job you made good tips at. You knew it was purely because the uniform was trampy, and not your sparkling personality or wit. You placed your head between your thighs and screamed through it, trying to see if that would stop you from your tears. It was literally more time that had passed than you had actually ran away with him at this point. 

You should have moved on. If not moved on, repress it enough to worry any mental health specialist. This wasn’t like you.

So you tried therapy. 

The big mistake there was dumbing it down and humanizing the Master and the Doctor so you didn’t sound like you needed inpatient care or to go on some watchlist somewhere in the universe. Let alone your planet. 

Some people somewhere might want to abduct you and harvest your organs for the residual artron energy. That could be valuable on certain markets. 

Or your brainwaves. Some planets would pay rogue Time Agents to harvest them and the knowledge you knew and technology you learned.

You became more skittish when walking at night. You had gotten so used to just blasting anyone who’d try to wrong you with your screwdriver. It was a crutch you missed. Every moving shadow scared you.

You also had to consider someone, somewhere might be angry enough with him enough and see that his little human whore was no longer velcroed to his side and go look for you. Penance for his actions, delivered unto you.

Not like he would care, obviously he was far gone and far away.

Your manager came in and gave a quick look at the sight before him.

“Why are you in here? People at table 6 were complaining. Had to give them vouchers and comp their bill.”

You wiped your eyes and got out from your hutched state, “The news. So much death.” You snorted up the snot threatening to leak out. 

Strange cognitive dissonance coming from someone who aided in toppling empires and had a past of executing people.

It wasn’t that, but my goodness, you had to sell it. It was a human thing to say.

“Oh, wow. I’ll give you a minute, then get back to work.” He closed the door gently and let you be. 

You paced and paced and thought, “What would he do?” But all the answers involved space tech you didn’t have in a five by eight cooler. Or loud theatrics and sass. 

You had none of those. 

For the first time in a while, you went to your neck and rubbed at it, wishing you still belonged to him, and you knew what to do. Anger flooded through you and honestly, you didn’t know who it was directed at. The anger felt good. A blistering difference to the waves of agony and silence in you.

You bratted off and knocked down a row of premade salsas and stomped out before heading to table 6. 

“Oh, so you didn’t fancy me dropping the drinks? Or whatever? You were complaining about the shape of the wings earlier? Anything else, your highnesses,“ You false curtsied before straightening out and untying your apron and tossing it on the ground, “Anything?” You spat.

They recoiled. 

The paunchy middle aged man asked, “What the fucks your problem? Like, what do you want? Cause you’re definitely not getting a tip now?”

An idea shot into your brain, “What do I want?” You jabbed a finger at yourself, “I want you to kneel!” You pointed at him and made a vague “get down” gesture with your index finger. 

“Kneel?”

“Kneel!” You ordered, all the chutzpah of a former self radiating through. You tossed a glass at that man’s head. It was no laser to the stomach but would do the trick. “I said, kneel for me, love.” 

The blood streaming from his head as he obeyed you, his fatty neck blubbering in pain and tears streaming down his face filled you with nostalgia. It felt good to be in this position again. Someone obeying you, the fear in their eyes, the sense of power it gave you knowing that you held the keys to their fate in your hands. A small pool of wetness nearly started between your thighs. Power was just so good, and feeling the fear come to him? Icing on a perverse cake.

Him kneeling was almost as natural as it felt for you to kneel ages ago. A labored, pleased breath escaped your lungs as you smiled and let off a laugh.

You turned to your manager and gave a grimace, “I quit, I just can’t take the pressure, dock my pay for the damages. Bye.”

You grabbed your stuff from behind the bar and ran out again from yet another job. 

At the back of your brain, you knew that possibly you’d go to prison for this. You assaulted a man. Out here in the real world, not the magic little world of madness, assault meant fines, sharing a prison cell with someone called Big Irma, ugly orange jumpsuits and a permanent record. Something that would prevent you from life.

Not that you had a life anymore. 

You arrived home and finally allowed yourself to let out all the true amount of tears you felt. You fell asleep on the linoleum of your entrance hall waiting for the cops to show up and take you away.

You were out for over a day, you woke up so sore and dehydrated. 

But the brunt of your emotions, you felt were over. 

You knew you had to consolidate who you were, who you had been, and where you were now. Make yourself one person, not a section of phases altered by the presence of Time Lords. 

But who were you before you’d met the Doctor and been the Master’s? 

That was the hard part.

Jogging that memory up.

You massaged your temples and went over to chug water directly from the kitchen faucet.

A normal human just couldn’t force people to follow their every whim. Or flit from here or there. 

Well, unless they were a politician or born to extreme wealth. 

You needed to be able to hold down a job, you needed to move on. He wasn’t coming for you. You finally and truly got it through your thick, pathetic human skull…

You wiped the water off your face with your bare hands and ripped off the bar’s uniform. You hunched over in your kitchen and cursed the day you ever met either Time Lord. Cupping your face in your hand you let out another massive groan and shook yourself free.

Those topics were not to be verboten. 

You had a traitorous thought, unless you worked for a government organization or paramilitary that dealt with the extraterrestrial. The job prospects for that seemed slim. You were formally in league with them. People might argue a conflict of interests or claim you were a double or triple agent. There was no true way to prove to a stupid ape that, you, another stupid ape weren’t giving off trade Earth secrets to known enemies of the planet. The list of aliens on watchlists was getting larger in the 21st century by the day. The Master definitely had to be on at least most of them. If not all. Though, the money would be quite good…

It was thought.

You were Earth-bound and just had to reintegrate. There had to be some books you could read. Life, For Dummies? Men are from Gallifrey, Women are from Earth? Something, even an obnoxious celebrity and an ill-trained life coach making a podcast on how to cope with a break up. Something.There 

Easier said than done.

It had to be done, however how hard.

What a pity, what a sham.

To paraphrase a comic, you were young, shiney and dumb. Easy to fool. 

You felt yourself utter, “If I ever see you again, first I’m going to kiss you, then I’m going to kick your ass.”

You pulled yourself back from those unhealthy words and bit your tongue.

This was bound to be hard.

But not impossible...

[boymeetsweevil]

For science 1/7 -  (NSFW)

Grouping: Reader x Nerd!Jungkook

Word Count: 6.1k

Warnings/Themes: masturbation (vaginal) & voyeurism, unrequited feelings, eventual sex. is this crack yet? lol there’s a plot i swear.

Summary: Jungkook asks you to let him watch you get off. For science.

A/N: posting this now because I’ve been working on it on and off for like a month and im tired of looking at it and jk’s bday is coming up HAPPY BIRTHDAY JK and i’ll be too busy with school plus im almost 7k into the second chapter so..

part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

Your eyes burn in protest as you scroll to the top of your terminal window once more to search for the error that is fucking your code up. It’s been hours of work and you still haven’t managed to get your program to run even though the homework assignment is easy in theory. In fact it’s just like a problem that Jungkook said the professors would probably give you in your sophomore year, and here you are in your junior year seeing such an ‘easy’ question. With him, it had truly been easy, though. Jungkook was a better computer science teacher than any professor you’d ever encountered. Thinking back to early high school days has you smiling softly to yourself. 

You miss sitting closely together, heads sometimes touching, as you both bent over a problem while he explained why it looked hard, but was actually something you could do in your sleep. The wide smile he would give you when you completed competition questions in minimal time would always set your heart fluttering.

Your phone vibrating brings you back to reality. The caller ID reads ~JK~ and you swoop in to answer the call. If the time in the corner of your computer is right (and it is) he should have already opened his decision letter from the PhD department.

“Hey, what’s the verdict,” you ask as soon as you accept the call. You know there’s no other reason why he’d call you when you were supposed to meet up in a few hours for weekly game night.

“I got in,” his voice is soft, but you know him well enough to be able to hear the joy mixed in.

“Congratulations, Kook! That’s amazing, I knew you would get in, they’d be crazy not to accept you. Oh my god, we should celebrate.”

“Yeah, I was thinking maybe we could go out for drinks before heading back to mine to play tonight. You in?” Now you can practically hear the smile in his voice.

“Of course I’m in. Let me just pack up and I can meet you. Where are you--the department lounge? I’ll come over.”

“Actually,” his shy tone has you sitting down slowly, returning your jacket to where you had it slung over the back of your chair. “You don’t have to leave right away. I was gonna try and call Yoori. You know, to tell her the news. And then tell Tae and Hobi, of course.”

“Oh. Yeah, no, that makes total sense. I should probably finish this code for Choi’s class anyway. It’s due on Sunday, but I’m almost done. Might as well turn it in early once I find this error.” Your hand scrapes at the sides of your jeans, looking for something to grab at.

“Well then I guess I have time,” he chuckles, “Your typos are always so tiny that they take hours to find. Let’s meet up at the bar in 2 hours then?” 

You wince. Although it’s not at all a mean-spirited jab, you’re no longer in the mood for the friendly banter at the mention of Yoori, Jungkook’s long time unrequited love.

“Sure. See you then,” you hang up before he has the chance to say goodbye formally like he always insists on doing.

You put your phone down and berate yourself for getting distracted. If you were the brilliant Yoori, you wouldn’t have even made the typo in the first place. But you weren’t Yoori because you didn’t have the fortune of being born four years earlier and four times more beautiful, elegant, or intelligent. And you didn’t have the luck of being so much of a genius that you could skip years ahead of school like Jungkook either. So instead you would just have to chug along, always watching Jungkook chase Yoori.

You go back to scrolling through your code only to find the error a third of the way down. Jungkook was right, the typo was tiny--a misplaced equals sign. You sigh and run the code to make sure it’s perfect this time, and when it is you send it in to your professor to be graded. You consider heading home and using the extra time to make yourself look nice. Not that there was anything wrong with your oversized university t-shirt and jeans, but suddenly you think maybe things would be different for you with regards to your love life if you tried a little harder. You’re about to leave the library entrance that’s closest to your dorm, but you get a text from Jungkook.

6:41 - I called Yoori and she said she heard about my deal with RealiCorp and she wants to link up when she gets back on campus!

You narrow your eyes at the text. Jungkook had recently sold some software he developed to an up and coming gaming company that was supposed to make the imaging on immersion headsets better. He had made a pretty penny and was covertly offered a position at the company, but it was also a large victory for the computer science department at the university and his picture had been circulating around the department website for weeks. You suppose she finally saw it while she was taking a break from her research project off campus and decided to answer his calls for a change.

You text back what you hope sounds like a cheerful congratulation and decide to just go to the bar instead. What’s the harm in a few rounds before the rest of the crew arrives?

The harm would have been miniscule at most if you hadn’t been in your feelings, but when Jungkook, Tae, and Hobi arrive, you’re three rounds in and a little bit sloppy.

“Woah,” Hobi shouts, giving you a too strong pat on the back when he sits in the chair next to you. “Someone started a little early. What’s the occasion, are we celebrating something for you too?” Jungkook shakes his head with a sheepish smile and goes to sit beside you, away from Hoseok.

“Nope. Just getting ready for an evening with your loud ass.” He gives you a pretend pout and flags the bartender over. Tae sits next to him and gives you a little wave and smile.

“Two whiskeys, make mine a sour and make his straight. From the high shelf.”

“Hey now,” Taehyung’s eyes widen comically, “Are you forgetting that payday isn’t until next week? I’ll take the regular whiskey down there, please.”

“Don’t worry. Kookie said he was paying with his RealiCorp money,” Hoseok stage whispers into your ear, “He’ll probably cover your round too.”  You swat him away and turn to Jungkook, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“You know I’ll cover yours. The rest of them, I don’t know.”

“What? Come on, you’re the youngest,” Tae whines, less than satisfied with his cheap whiskey shot.

“Shouldn’t that mean you guys pay for me?”

“N-no! Because you’re actually our senior now. You’re graduating this year, I’m the oldest technically but I’m not graduating until next year. We know these two aren’t graduating until the year after that,” he points to you and Tae, “Plus, you’re going to the PhD program next year. You should definitely be paying for us.” Hoseok has a point, you and Tae nod sagely to back him up.

“Fine,” Jungkook sighs, pushing his thick glasses up the bridge of his nose, “I’m in a good mood, so why not.”

“I bet you are,” Tae’s grin is big and catlike in the low light of the bar. His gaze a little lewd. “I would be too if I was one step closer to finally bagging a girl like Yoori.”

You look down into your beer bottle, the green glass suddenly much more fascinating than the conversation at hand.

“Did you hear,”Hoseok turns toward you,”Yoori is gonna come back soon and when she does he’s gonna make her Mrs. Jeon.”

“I’ll be sure to throw rice during the wedding,” you snark. The bartender brings you a new beer without another word. Taehyung howls at your comment.

“I’d kill to have a wedding night with her.”

“Hell, I’d kill to have a bathroom stall night. With anyone,” Hoseok sighs, “It’s hard out here for a comp-sci major. Right, guys?”

You hum in agreement. It had been a while since you’d last gotten laid.

“You’re right. I can’t even remember that geology minor’s face. Do you remember her? What was her name? Mara? Kara?”

“Sara,” Hoseok provides with a grin, “I think she has a thing for comp-sci majors. Kook, you ever hook up with Sara?”

Jungkook shyly traces a finger around the rim of his empty vodka class. “I haven’t hooked up with anyone.”

“Ever?” You try to keep incredulity from bleeding into your question.

“Ever,” he nods. He hiccups a little and all of the sudden you totally believe that Jungkook is a virgin.

“Dude, wait, I thought you hooked up with that one chick at the music festival last spring. Am I the only one who saw her?” 

Tae nods in agreement. “Yeah, she gave you her hotel room key and everything.”

“It wasn’t like that. She told me her brother was there for a robotics tournament and I asked her if I could see the bot.”

You smile despite your sour mood. If there was one thing you loved about Jungkook it was his blind enthusiasm for STEM. Even if it made him a little oblivious to other things at times.

“Well, you better fix that whole virgin thing fast, bro. Chicks like Yoori probably want someone with experience. In more ways than one, if you catch my drift.” Hoseok nudges Tae with a wry smile.

“That’s not just a Yoori thing, most people don’t want to have to coddle someone in bed unless that’s, like, their kink or something,” you take a large swallow of beer.

“Wait,” Tae says, eyeing you like he’s had an epiphany, “You’re a girl--”

“Didn’t we establish this 2 years ago? When we met?”

“No, no, I mean you can help Kookie so he doesn’t drop the ball with Yoori.”

“Yeah, right,” you snort, “Help him how? Give him a sex-ed lecture?” You turn to laugh with Jungkook, but he’s looking at you seriously. Or as seriously as he can when he’s tipsy with unfocused eyes and blushing cheeks.

“You…don’t want to help me?” His voice sounds pathetic and small, making you feel bad instantly.

“Oh, Kook, it’s not that I don’t want to help you. But think about what that implies.”

“Is it because I’m a virgin?”

“Oh my god, Kook, there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin don’t listen to us. We’re idiots.”

“Then why don’t you want to help me?”

Because I like you. You swallow hard, your throat suddenly dry. You obviously don’t say that, though. Instead you sit back in your bar stool.

��I-I would if I could, but I don’t know how to help you,” you finally say.

“It’s fine. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I guess the thought of being with Yoori makes me a little stupid.”

Desperately you search for a solution. Instead of finding one, you call the bartender back and order a round of tequila shots. Jungkook gives you a sad look but doesn’t ruin the mood by not taking a shot. You order two more rounds because somehow, even though he’s drunk, he still looks dejected. After your third shot you can’t stand the way his shoulder slump.

“You know what,” you slur loudly, drawing three pairs of eyes to your face lazily. “It’s getting late and we might not get to play Fortnite this weekend. Let’s all get to bed so we can be up early tomorrow to play.”

Tae points a wobbly finger in your direction, eyes suspicious. “When you say early, you mean after 2pm right?”

It takes twenty minutes for everyone to get their shit together enough to leave the bar. Tae and Hoseok keep losing each other in the bathroom. Jungkook keeps forgetting that he has to pay and tries to ask the bartender what he thinks about sub-atomic particle physics. Even though you’re drunk off your ass, you somehow manage to keep yourself responsible enough to wrangle Tae and Hobi out of the bathroom and guide Jungkook through the motions of swiping his card and signing the bill. The four of you then squeeze into the back of an uber. Hoseok whines about being lonely while sitting in the passenger’s seat. Jungkook’s bumps his hand against yours until he can firmly grasp it and get your attention before you pass out.

“Hey, can I sleep on the couch,” he whispers in your ear. His breath smells like alcohol and limes. You turn your head to chase the scent away and rest your head on his shoulder. You yawn.

“Sure. No problem, buddy.”

Your apartment is the first stop on the route and you launch yourself out the car and run up through your lobby and to the elevator to escape the cold of the air conditioner and the fluorescent lights. Jungkook lingers in the car until Tae pushes him out to make room for Hoseok.

“Kook,” Tae calls out as he helps Hoseok pour himself into the back seat.

“Wassap?”

“The only way to get good at sex is losta—lotta...lot’s a practish. Okay?”

“But-but…Who am I gonna practice with?”

Tae merely whistles and points a finger upward, gesturing to your illuminated window. The car pulls away and Jungkook sways unsteadily up onto the sidewalk with nausea clawing at his throat. Thinking of the stairs he’ll have to climb—because there’s no way in hell he’s taking the elevator, even in this state—he regrets not just going to his own first floor dorm. Does he really need to get sex counseling from you? There’s always porn, he muses before remembering the rant you’d gone on blaming porn for making a guy you’d been hooking up with try to do weird things in bed involving a summer squash. Looks like he’d have to rely on the real deal to get anywhere with Yoori. Oh, Yoori.

A shimmering vision of the beautiful girl with elegant eyes and an ever-painted smile floats in front of his hazy vision and gives him the strength he needs to hobble forward towards the lobby door with dedication.

Minutes ago you couldn’t wait to go to sleep, but as soon you unlocked your door and made it to your room, you were wide awake. Even brushing your teeth and stripping out of your jeans didn’t to tire you out.

“Fuck,” you groan. You throw yourself onto your bed and hope that the way the room spins will lull you to sleep but when the spinning stops, your eyes still won’t stay closed.

The clock resting on your desk across the room reads 1:48am. It’s already clear that you’re going to be hung over, but knowing that it won’t be cushioned by a nice long sleep before you have to go to yoga at 12 makes you want to cry. You desperately wrack your brain for all the remedies there are to make you sleepy. You just canceled your cable last week to save some money, so you can’t veg out in front of the TV. You’re lactose intolerant, so warm milk isn’t an option. You’d take a warm shower but you washed your hair already and if you go to bed with wet hair your mother’s voice will haunt you all night with stories of the cold coming your way. Kicking your feet in frustration, you toss yourself over the edge of the bed to hang. Maybe all the blood will flow to your head and you’ll pass out.

You’re about to risk passing out and landing on your neck the wrong way and dying when a bright pink shoebox under your bed catches your eye. Of course, you think, how could you forget your precious vibrator. Luckily for you, a good orgasm or three always managed to knock you out like a light. You reach over and scoot the box forward with your outstretched fingertips until you get it close enough to reach inside and grab the petite tiffany blue bullet. Giddy laughter leaves your mouth as you heft yourself back onto your bed and fall back on the pillows with a contented sigh. Orgasms solve all your problems. You flick the device on to the lowest setting and ghost it against your clothed mound.

Jungkook is completely breathless as he leaves the center stairwell and finally arrives on your floor. The stairs were a bitch and a half, but your door is only two down from the floor entrance. He can practically hear the siren song of your pull-out couch. When he turns the knob to your front door, it doesn’t budge and he wonders if you must have locked it on instinct. There’s no way you forgot that he was staying over, he thinks to himself. Reaching above the doorjamb, he hunts for the spare key you left there especially for him. The door unlocks easily and he smiles to himself as he locks the door behind him and toes off his shoes. He’s about to face plant into the couch when you call his name faintly from your bedroom.

As he stumbles through the hallway slowly to your room, he thinks over what Taehyung said to him before driving off. To Jungkook’s drunk mind it makes sense, so it must be a good idea to seek sex practice from you. You’re the only girl he knows and he’s known you so long that he can already tell there would be no awkwardness. The sad look in your eyes as you listened to his predicament in the bar tells him that you want to help him, but you didn’t know what route to take. He flexes his hands by his sides and figures he’ll just tell you what Taehyung told him and get to coming up with a curriculum.

The door to your bedroom is half-open and the lights shine through the opening, so he figures you must be up and waiting for him. He can still hear you calling his name, but it still sounds oddly soft from where he is. He pushes the door open but freezes in his tracks when he sees you.

The first thing he notices is obviously the frantically moving hand you have between your legs and the loud buzzing sound that comes from it. He takes in more details the longer he looks. He realizes belatedly then that you’re not wearing pants. Thanks to the high prescription strength of his glasses, he can also see the way your hand and thighs shine and the huge dark spot in the crotch of your panties in the light of your table lamp. Your toes are curling and he can just make out the way your lower stomach clenches underneath the very same sweatshirt you’d been wearing to the bar. Technically he can’t see your other hand but he has a pretty good idea of where it is and what it might be doing with the way it disappears under your shirt. You can’t see him, though, because your head is thrown back and your eyes are closed. The only thing you’re probably at least partly aware of is the cacophony of wet sounds that come from where you work the nose of the toy over yourself. The last thing he notices is the way you call his name in a soft whining tone that has him stepping forward without thinking.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you whine as the slippery heel of your hand bumps against your covered clit a little roughly on an upstroke.

“Yes?”

“What the hell,” your eyes snap open and your head whips around to see him leaning on the door frame as he watches you.

His eyes are heavy with alcohol and his cheeks are just as pink as the lip he releases from the grasp of his teeth. He reaches out and stumbles forward, causing you to scramble back to distance yourself from him. You bring your knees up to hug to your chest before you realize that you’re still very much on show.

“Jeon Jungkook, what is going on here,” you shriek, bringing your hands to cover your eyes only makes you feel a little bit better.

He sits down on your bed like it’s any other day and he’s just chilling in the room like you invited him over. And then you realize that you did kind of invite him over as fragmented memories of the recent uber ride you took together spring up.

“You said you wanted to help me, but you didn’t know how. But Tae told me I just have to practish.”

“Practish?”

“Practice,” he corrects himself.

“Practice what?”

“Practice sex. Duh!”

“Jungkook, no!”

“Please? I wouldn’t be asking such a huge favor if I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary.”

“Why can’t you just go to a frat party like everyone else?” 

Your heart is beating rapidly and you think maybe you’re not drunk anymore. Never in your life did you think you would turn down sex from Jungkook, but then again you never pictured it happening this way.

“Because I,” his head hangs and he starts to pick at a loose thread in your duvet, “I guess I missed out on this kind of thing when we were younger and I don’t think I could get very good results in a basement party. Plus, I know you’d…”

“I’d what?”

“You’d be good to me.” He lifts his eyes to lock with yours. His gaze is oddly sharp despite the fact that his skin is still clammy like it gets when he drinks.

Your breath hitches and for a moment it does feel like the fantasies you have almost every other time that you settle into your room, lonely and horny. Jungkook laughs bitterly to himself and you can feel your resolve crumbling as something selfish rears its head in the back of your mind. He tries one last time. 

“Please?” 

You crack.

“Okay.”

“Really?” His eyes light up once more as he gives you a blinding smile. “Great. Let’s start!”

It feels as though you’re having an out of body experience as you watch him clamber closer onto the bed with you. Your legs naturally open to accommodate him and he scoots into your space, his hands falling to naturally stroke with the soft skin of your ankles. Even though he lacks experience, Jungkook has a leg up in that he’s naturally on the affectionate side. Something you can’t teach with any amount of practice. Even still, the idea that Jungkook will be sitting between your naked thighs makes your stomach do flip flops.You barely start formulating something to say that will sound educational when you hear him get ready to interject once more.

“God, what is it?” You worry that if he interrupts you one more time you’ll lose your nerve.

“I need a visual aid. And, uh, I won’t be able to see because of your, uh, undergarments.”

You’re certain that you’ve never taken anything off faster than you do in that moment. The panties fly into some far corner of your room and you can only hope that they don’t land in a clump of dust bunnies.

“Alright,” you stutter, “I don’t have to give you an anatomy lesson, right? Please tell me you at least know where everything is.”

“We took anatomy together in 7th grade,” he says like that’s a decent answer.

You roll your eyes. “Right, okay. Anatomy lesson it is.”

“What’s this,” you point at yourself.

“That’s the uh…entrance to the vagina?”

“Ok and?”

“It’s where the pleasure comes from?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes?”

“Partial credit.”

“Isn’t that where the…phallus goes, though?” You decide it would be best to ignore his word choice for now.

“Yeah, I mean stuff goes in there but that’s not where all the pleasure comes from. For some people that’s not where any of it comes from.”

His eyes widen nervously. “Then where does it come from if not from penetration?”

You gesture again. “This is the clitoris.” His sweaty bangs flop over his lenses as he nods enthusiastically. Finally something he remembers.

“The clitoris,” he chirps affirmatively. You side eye him, but keep going.

“This little thing is basically there for the sole purpose of pleasure.”

“How do I activate it?” Again you blink at his terminology. Although you’d been a STEM freak with Jungkook for years, somehow he managed to baffle you with his nerdiness.

“Uh, you can stimulate it by touching it.” You draw a small circle in the air around the nub to demonstrate. “Like that, for example. You can also use your hands or your mouth.”

“Or that little blue thing you were using earlier,” he chimes in, reminding you of the embarrassing way this whole thing started.

You sigh. “Yeah. That too.”

“And that’s it?”

“No that’s definitely not it. We haven’t even touched the other places of pleasure or technique or foreplay. But this is a pretty good cheat code.”

“So what about the inside? Like the tubes?”

“There’s really not that much you need to know involving the actual reproductive organs themselves. We can just focus on the external bits for now.” You wince at how uncomfortable the discussion is.

“That makes sense,” his brows furrow seriously. He’s slow to blink, partly so he doesn’t miss anything and partly because he’s still fighting off tendrils of sleep.

“I mean,” you wring your hands anxiously, “that’s all you really need to know for now. It’s mostly learning on the go, anyway. You’ll be fine.”

“But what if I’m not fine. Don’t you think you could, you know, show me?”

“What is there to show?”

“How about you just continue…what you were doing when I came in.”

“Masturbating.”

“What?”

“I was masturbating when you came in.”

A hand flies to the collar of his shirt and he tugs on it sheepishly. “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

You try not to focus on how weirdly awkward the mood is now that your lust has calmed down to barely even a simmer. You reach for the discarded vibrator that jumped out of your hand and landed by the edge of the head of your bed, but he stops you with a raised hand.

“Can you, uh, maybe do it the old-fashioned way? For the first time at least?”

“Right, I guess I’ll get to it.”

Jungkook sits back on his heels patiently and watches closely as your hand trails a path down your torso to the apex of your thighs. The first touch, though you know it’s your own hand, has you twitching a bit. You bite your lip hard to focus and circle your entrance to coax out more moisture, then you move back to circle your clit. You close your eyes in hopes that not being able to see Jungkook’s gaping expression will help. It does, a bit. After a few moments, you let out a breathy sigh and sink further into the pillows. You plant one foot more firmly on the mattress to give yourself some leverage and push yourself more into your circling hand. The slight increase in pressure has you moaning and your eyes fluttering. You peek through heavy lids to see Jungkook’s expression has also changed. His eyes, clear just a second ago, look glassy again from behind his lenses, his mouth slack and shiny. The rise and fall of his chest is a bit heavier. You let yourself think it’s because of you and go back to collect more arousal to increase the slip.

Apparently, you’re more turned on than you thought. When your middle and ring fingers wander down to your hole they come back pleasantly slick. Something in you suddenly feels rebellious, so you use your free hand to spread your lips further and bring your coated fingers up to Jungkook’s face. You flex your fingers and separate them to show crystalline streaks of arousal connecting them.

“Just so you know, this is a good sign.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Somehow, even though you’re still wearing socks and a baggy sweatshirt, you’re hotter than all the completely bare, busty women he’d watched moan and writhe wildly on his computer screen. He reaches out and delicately grabs you wrist before redirecting your hand back to your dripping center.

“Keep going,” he rasps.

You whine and begin to rub your clit more earnestly, lewd wet sounds fill the room. He can practically see your lips getting wetter and wetter as you redistribute your arousal with every rough swipe of your fingers. Your wrist is moving fast, but it’s clear that you’re becoming frustrated with all that you can do with one hand. Your other hand quickly moves to take over making tight figure eights around your clit while the one already coated in your juices moves back down to your entrance once more. This time, you crook two shining fingers and shove them into your hole. Immediately your back bends and a drawn out moan leaves your mouth. Jungkook gasps quietly. You pump your fingers in and out roughly, then withdraw them to add a third finger.

He watches you like that for a while before you get fed up again. It’s been a while since you’ve been so needy and you feel like you’re on fire. Your toes curl impatiently on either side of Jungkook and he realizes you’re looking for more. On instinct he scoots further until his own legs are brushing up against the undersides of yours. His hand reaches out to pet your quivering thigh in a sympathetic effort to help with your plateau. He looks down at your hand, twitching feverishly in and out of yourself. His hands are much bigger and suddenly he moves like he’s about to replace your fingers with his own.

When Jungkook’s hands start to approach your center your breath hitches. You’re not quite in the right state of mind to reject him if he offers to finger you, but you don’t want to take advantage of the situation and make it any more emotionally complicated than it already is.

“Not yet,” you offer when his hands get too close for comfort, “Next time, maybe.”

He seems to be thinking the same thing and averts his attention to the forgotten vibrator. His grip on your thigh disappears, and you sigh quietly, but it’s hidden under the slick sounds you make each time your fingers get sucked into your heat and the low moans you make every time your pinch your clit just so.

“W-what do I do?” His voice is small and his sudden worried look has you wrapping a hand around his and bringing it to show him how you click the toy on and circle it around your entrance.

His hands are sweaty, shaky, so when your hips start to circle on their own, they move to find a resting spot on your thighs and squeeze to deal with the tension rising in his own belly. He grits his teeth, clenches his hands, does anything he can to keep from overstepping and making this about him. As obviously cliché as it sounds, seeing you sweating and moaning underneath him lets him see you in a new light. You’d always been around, but your presence as a woman in his life was backgrounded at best. Now, with Yoori momentarily not clouding his mind, he wants nothing more than to ravage you. He’s almost certain that if he tried, his lack of experience wouldn’t matter too much. He’s sure his body would be able to act on baser instinct and give you the what you wanted. If you wanted.

Your moans change in pitch and soon he’s aware that this will be the first time he’ll have been privy to someone else’s orgasm in real life. His dick is painfully hard and straining against the jeans he’s wearing. But he forgets the discomfort fast as he watches you grind yourself down against the toy in a way that is absolutely filthy. Your bottom lip, shiny and reddened, is pulled taut between your teeth in ecstasy. Your eyes flutter open and lock with his own. You focus and notice his blown-out pupils look huge within the depths of deep brown irises. There’s no denying he’s turned on once you flick your gaze down to his crotch and see the large tent in his pants.

“I—I think I’m gonna…Oh!” Your leg kicks out on its own like some electric current runs through you. Your voice breaks as the waves of your approaching high begin to take over you. One of his hands inches upwards a bit and strokes the tense muscle near your groin softly, at a loss for words. “Oh god, Jungkook, you—” keening, your eyes roll into the back of your head.

One of your hands reaches up to squeeze at his bicep as he’s leaning over you. He wonders in the back of his mind when he got so close to you. Your leg hooks around him like it has a mind of it’s own and tugs him down, forcing him to topple over you. That’s the last straw and you sob from the intense pleasure. Meanwhile your warmth and proximity and your words prove to be a deadly combination and within seconds he’s spilling over himself in his boxers, untouched. He lets out a low groan that puffs against the side of your neck.

You both sit there and breathe for a long while, catching your breath and coming back down to earth. He sits up eventually and pulls away from you, leaving you cold. Your legs flop from around him heavily. You’re a bit irritated when you realize you won’t be able to walk normally for a while. He discretely wipes his hands off on your duvet while you wipe at the sweat soaking your hairline.

“That’s it, that’s the show,” you finally say.

He shoots up and looks at you anxiously. It’s cute. “You mean until next time, right?”

His eyes are wide and imploring as he hovers over by you. He looks a bit like a turtle from this angle. A cute one, though. One that you want to play with again next week. You nod even though he might have all that he needs to do well with Yoori, being the fast learner that he is.

“I guess so. Same time, next week. Do some research for next time maybe. Make sure it’s from something not involving the medical library.”

“Got it!” He turns and waits until you’re not looking to adjust his pants.

You notice his hair is sticking to his forehead when he finally stands up. And there’s a cowlick sticking up in the back that reminds you of middle school Jungkook, before he met Yoori. The idea of the other girl, the girl he’s really in love with, dims your post-coital glow. Although, you suppose you have her to thank for this evening’s events. How else could you have ever managed a one-sided romp in the sheets with your long-time crush?

Both of you take turns using the bathroom to clean up. While he hums in time with washing up, you slip panties on and debate about whether or not to throw your sweats back on. You decide that if you’re going to play this off like it hasn’t changed your relationship, you should put pants back on.He comes out looking pink and clean and you want to pull him back into your bed and wrap yourself around him. 

To protect his glasses from the dangers of the bathroom, he left them in your room. Squinting, he walks with hands out to collect them. When he puts them on he doesn’t look at you and instead pulls his phone out of his pocket and swipes around while leaving the room.

“Heading out,” you ask with a quasi-disinterested tone.

“Yeah, I remembered I have to run the Saturday tutoring session this week. So I might as well go home so I can get ready for that. You should come, you know. Your test scores dropped 2 points this week.” Typical Jungkook. He couldn’t ever fully leave TA mode.

You roll your eyes. “Thanks for the reminder, but that’s still an A.”

“Maybe we can try this again next week the same time?”

“Yeah, uh, okay.”

“Cool, I’ll put it on my calendar.” He lifts his phone to his face to tell the digital assistant to pencil you in for next week. You try not to grimace at becoming a date in his calendar app.

“Get out already, you nerd.” You push him out after he puts his coat back on, but you do watch out the window to make sure his taxi comes.

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 7 - “I wonder why you're not liked” - Nicole (& Ben)

Glad I sat out on that one - really didn't know anything Survivor related. Darcy's score of 12 is a huge shame, but gives me incentive to vote him out. He tried, he flopped, that's how it is. If it's me going this round, GGWP. 

Oh yeah! So, Nicole returned to the game.... Grrreat. It was probably the worst outcome I could have, but honestly, I don't want to dwell on it too long. With Nicole and Jacob both back in the game and Juls out of it, my fate looks worse and worse each day, as my list of allies continues to shorten and my list of enemies only gets longer. I feel very scared for the future, and rather trapped as of now, trapped between millions of possibilities, none of which have me doing very well. But hey, hasn't that been how it's been since Day 1 of this game? I started things off on Sonkei, a tribe so quiet I couldn't tell if I was running the show or on the bottom of everything until like 3 tribal councils in. A tribe where every new enemy I made would come back from the arena with a vengeance, and things only got harder. A tribe where I consistently lost challenges despite putting in my all. Then I got to nuMIraitowa, and my time here has been incredibly hectic. A bumpy road, to say the least. It's been a journey of gaining friends and then losing them, knowing people are lying but not knowing why, and just struggling to find the tiniest crack so I can get off the fucking bottom and just... SURVIVE. It's really been tough out here, and you can see the game starting to wear me down. My insanity is starting to come through in the main chats and honestly I've just lost all patience and tolerance that I had at the beginning of the game, the real me is beginning to show through. The one who lashes out, and desperately tugs at every heartstring possible, and says exactly what he's thinking without giving a fuck who's listening or the repercussions it might have down the line. Who makes everything public. I KNOW that these things are not typically good for my game, and yet, I just find myself so inclined to do them. Even though they've never helped me win anything, I can't help but be true to myself. I don't know, I guess I just feel frustrated. I'm at a place in ORGs where I feel so helpless, like I'm the victim of my own personality. I know exactly what's holding me back but I can't seem to just get past it. I guess I just keep hoping that one of these days, I'll play exactly true to myself, 100% me, and people will like that person enough to want to work with him or be happy to reward him a win. But it hasn't happened yet and I don't know if it can happen here anymore. I'm really struggling to push through. But, if there's one thing I'll never do, it's give up. Even when everything feels like it's caving in and I'm ready to just collapse, like I was saying earlier - no matter how much I want to do something, the real me ALWAYS fights back and does what it wants anyway. And the real me can't give up. Deep down in my core I always fight back, I always stand up for myself, sometimes even when I'm wrong. I just can't stand letting things go, and I know it's a character flaw, but hell, it's also a strength, and it's something I'm proud of, in a weird way. I don't want to be the player who gives in, never reveals anything, or plays it safe. I want to play it my way because if I don't, then how can I enjoy a win? How can I be proud of myself for winning if it wasn't ME that won? I have to win it my way, and sure, right now it looks difficult. VERY difficult. Maybe even impossible. But I'm approaching on the Final 16, and maybe, just maybe, a swap is on the horizon. Maybe new things are coming and maybe this entire game is about to reinvent itself for me. I've got allies in Jordan, Eve, Pete... potential allies in Caeleb, Ben, Sammy, Kevin... Maybe I could fix things with Emma. Honestly, who knows what's ahead. I'm very scared, partly, if that wasn't obvious by this big emotional confessional. But I'm also kind of exhilarated, this is exactly what Survivor is supposed to be and I can't wait for the next stage of the game. These are the Olympics, so it's go big or go home. Let's do this.

Hello again, this is Darcy here reporting with more confessing.  So, for starters, I still have yet to find something at the Olympic Village, which is really nothing new at this point of the game.   Now for the fun parts, my tribe lost Immunity, which not really surprising, since that kind of challenge I felt whoever had gold medal won that challenge.   So, we get to enjoy another tribal, where I am hoping for it to be Ben, since Ben is the one I trust the least, due to hearing about Ben wanting to come for me last round if I lost immunity, assuming that was a true tidbit anyways.   I have a feeling this vote could be between Ben and I, but here's to hoping Ben targets someone else and not me woo!   I do have enough trust in my alliance with Beck, Tommy and Karen though that us four should hopefully stick together to just take out the common enemy in Ben.   Then Ben may come back again with a gold medal, but if he does, I mean good for him.

I'm back, babes! Okay, so regarding my last confessional...I guess maybe I went a little too hard on some people. But, I was angry and validly so. Nothing much has changed even though I'm really good at faking forgiveness. About twenty minutes after I dropped in the FOUR AND A HALF HOUR PRESSURE COOKER, Sammy messages me asking to call!

I'm back babes! So as soon as I got back after the FOUR AND A HALF HOUR ENDURANCE, people were all of the sudden really happy to see me -- which was a LOT different than 24 hours prior! I talked to my best ally Kevin first, of course! I really hope at the end of the game Kevin's confessionals aren't like "oh geez and then I had to talk to Nicole, she's so annoying" bc I will be crushed, as a person he is just so nice and I'm so happy we have been given the opportunity to become friends from this game! So I talk to Kevin, then Caeleb and then...whatta know! Sammy! Right to the rescue, he wants to call after 1) voting me out 2) revoting me out. Now, long story short I made significant peace with Sammy through the phone call BUT something did happen that really did not sit well with me. While we were calling he said he DIDN'T want to apologize because we both did things wrong. Hm. Well, Sammy! Okay! I would have had more respect and less wariness of him moving forward if he did apologize but, he didn't. He kind of said like "ok so i know i lied about the advantages I had in this game and gave you nothing to trust me off of, got mad when you didn't trust me, then decided I was going to vote with Eve to get rid of you, revoted to seal your fate and called you out on a tribal call like 'if anyone wants to apologize now would be the time', but i don't think I NEED to apologize because, we were equally wrong.' Someone please explain to ME how exactly it is that we would be equally wrong when everything I did was to protect myself, and everything he did was because he had other people he could trust over me. Now that Juls is gone and he kind of showed his ass, he's now saying hey haha let's work together again though! I haven't decided if I want to do that, AND now I have a lot more options because people saw how kick ass I could be :) Speaking of the comp, it kind of grinds my gears that coming back in the last few messages before I entered again were Emma and Landen actively rooting against me. Landen, I understand. Emma...who even are you? Why do you hate me? lmao. Okay I may still be a little bit mad. Ben also as I'm typing this messaged me "I wonder why you're not liked", which is like hurtful but accurate. Anyway....I'm making at LEAST f15 now (bc my gold medal) so that's very fun, A+ content. I think we are swapping after this THANK GOD bc I have to get AWAY from this tribe. I hope I get to stay with either Jacob or Kevin, and maybe even get swapped with Jordan Pines or Karen so I can feel some semblance of security. I'll make a confessional about it next round bc :) im back :) hehe

anyway so this ugly ass tribe lost again. The only good thing to happen over the last few days is that nicole is back ugh I wasn’t ready to lose on of my allies skdjfkdjfj anyway so juls is gone and it’s down to me tommy Darcy beck caeleb and Ben, 4/6 of us are in an alliance and then there’s cae and Ben sjdjjddnjd obvs Ben is the choice to vote but also like bc it’s so obvious I’m scared that he’ll know and play an idol /: scares me bc I’m not 100% sure who he’d vote and he’s shown that he’s willing to vote for me at any moment so I’m just debating whether I should throw a vote at caeleb just in case to tie it or if I should let one of my alliance members potentially get voted out. Best case scenario if Ben plays an idol is that he votes for beck bc I don’t trust that hoe at all wkendkdndndn but yeah I haven’t had time to really talk to Ben so it’s prob too late to probe into his plans. Ugh I hope this tribal is quick & painless /: 

hello. confessional #472. i've survived another round so that's fun! i feel rly solid about the bonds i have with people right now so i know a tribe swap is incoming but that's for the best bc i'd rather not vote out anyone on yushu rn… so we'll see! 

Really mad I got voted out, feeling pretty betrayed by my tribe rn. 

I wish em didn't have to get voted out, but I'm pretty confident she'll fight tooth and nail to get back into the running..

Tribal just happened and we voted out Ben again in a unanimous vote. It was an easy vote I think either we are swapping into 3 tribes of 5 at Final 15 or 16, but if it's Final 16 the Gold Medal winner will be exiled. If we don't swap I think Ben will win the Gold and Beck the silver medal so we have a good chance of winning immunity incase there's another round before we swap. I'm really just trying to maintain get close to Caeleb because he's probably still skeptical about the whole Juls vote which I'm happy she's out because she's a threat but on the other hand she was so sweet it was sad she had to leave early. At this point I'm trying to maintain good relationships going into a swap and hope I get a good tribe that's strong and will leave me in the majority going into the merge. Also, at this point once Emma or Ben is officially voted out we'll be down to 9 returnees and 7 newbies so I really don't care if some of these returnees start hitting the road and going home. It's gonna come down to who wants to take me to the end and that's who I'm with. 

It's the end of the round, you know what that means? LAST MINUTE JORDAN PINES CONFESSIONAL TIME! It's america's favourite game show where Jordan Pines quickly makes a confessional at the last possible moment to not recieve a strike and tries to make his thoughts sound coherent. Let's Play! Whew this round was awful compared to every round so far in every aspect. First we get a challenge and I'm like... Oh Shit we can win this! and I work my ass of coordinating, doing most of the work for the tribe getting list ready in shit. And guess what it worked, we had the best scores over all and it wasn't very close... until you remember that each member of a tribe getting 20% on a challenge like this is basically a guaranteed win unless you are absolutely garbage. So we lose! Here we are and I have 4 people on my tribe including and I want to go far with all 3. Like I was at a loss. Not to mention the fact that I was having the day from hell where I could only be on for a minute like for the whole day. It ends up being emma and that fucking sucks cause emma is an icon. She has now won the duel and thank god I had some common sense not to blindside her and give her a heads up so that I can repair the relationship. Let's see how she feels about me tonight, but like I stand by it that I quote it here, in an ideal world i would go as close to the end with emma, shes iconic and i trust her a lot. I hope I havent damaged this relationship too badly! LET ME SWAP ALREADY!

I am tired of losing!! we’ve been attending tribal nonstop and it sucks. All these people are amazing. The vote was between Sarah and Em, Jordan was quite busy and didn’t care who left so it came down to my decision unfortunately. I decided em should go because I just don’t have a relation with her like I do with Jordan and Sarah. Luckily she won and is still in the game and got us gold <3 Jordan’s gonna try and do damage control with Em to keep her on our side. We’ve got a few advantages rn  and have been leading these tribals so I hope we stay in a good position. 

[defensematrix]

Give us the good boy Bap tips 👀 I’ve been playing him a lot and it’d be nice to learn some new things!

yall want TIPS? yall want to see an autistic ramble at full power for an embarrassingly long post??

OKAY so baptiste is a really interesting support hero in that he rewards good mechanics, but he isnt completely useless if your aim isnt that good, especially if you just focus on healing your team and using your abilities

that being said! his primary fire can be very deadly and its absolutely worth it to practice using his gun so you can take out enemies on your own. his burst fire is a little weird to get used to, but after a while ive found that his gun plays really similar to soldier, so if youve played him bap might be a little easier

baptist’s spread is a vertical three round burst that looks like this:

(i tried to get an in-game pic but it didnt show up well lol)

the shape of it means that its better to aim his crosshair at the neck of heroes as opposed to their head, but the verticality is mainly due to his recoil. as such, it helps a lot if you pull down slightly when you shoot

heres a gif of me shooting at the head without fighting the recoil

and one where i am. note that at this range it only takes two shots

baptistes primary fire is best used when:

behind a shield/in a bunker. baptiste can help a lot with shield wars so dont just pump grenades into your team afraid that they might take tiny bits of damage if you focus on something else for a second

to finish off low health targets. it helps if your team calls them out but usually you’ll have to keep an eye out yourself. baptiste is very good for this as opposed to trying to get solo kills, especially if you just have average mechanics (like me)

in chaotic teamfights that could go either way, use your best judgement as to whether to do damage or healing. on attack, i would say to try being more offensive, and on defense always be defensive with his kit unless youre the only person left alive

against tanks and certain squishies (hes really good against pharah/mercy, zen, junkrat, etc, but has trouble fighting tracer/mini dva and snipers that are out of range)

when using his ultimate. the extra damage is actually really good

important note as of the current patch (6/18): baptistes ult is bugged so that it doesnt amplify healing, so dps away until its fixed lol

now onto his healing grenades!

they have a lot less range than you would think (like 3m i think) its good to go into the practice range and see for yourself just how close they have to be to hit teammates so you have a better feel for it in game.

he does 60 heals per second (120 when his matrix,, actually works.) and has 12 ammo per clip, making him a decent primary healer.

in general, his healing works best when youre on the high ground, due to them being grenades. so use his jump boots to take high ground as needed to heal your team! also, if youre in an area that has open sky, they can be shot directly up into the air for a delayed healing effect

technically, you can shoot his primary and secondary fire at the same time, but its rare that doing so would actually be helpful imo, where you aim for each is very different. i guess it wouldnt hurt to practice it just in case

also, his grenades have the same projectile trajectory as his immortality field, which is good to keep in mind if you want to aim the field more precisely. when i first picked up baptiste i made a lot of mistakes bc i flung it way too far lol

speaking of his immortality field, my Most General baptiste tip would be to use his ultimate on cooldown like an ability (since it charges so fast) and to use his immortality field like an ultimate

if you play zenyatta or lucio, i would compare using it to their ultimates. ive found that the longer i wait before using it the better (in my replays i see myself use it too early out of panic and the result is Sad), but you dont want to avoid using it completely and end up with a dead team. finding the balance is hard but it comes with practice

like lucios ult (and sometimes zen) it can be used for initiation! i had a really good team that fought a bastion bunker on paris with dive, and i helped by throwing my immortality frisbee on top of the bastion when they went in. if you have a winston, try throwing it in after him when he initiates

its also very important to pay attention to where exactly the frisbee ends up, because if you place it right, it cant be hit by the enemy team. try to place it slightly behind cover whenever possible. this is by far the most abusable part of his kit and i wouldnt be surprised if the duration of it gets nerfed to compensate. so if you want to cheese your way up the ranks, go into each map in custom games and practice where to put the field so that enemies cant hit it. this alone wont do much if you dont have the game sense to know when to do it, though

ultimates that immortality field is good at countering:

GRAV. zaryas get so mad about this bc people forget to shoot it and its so funny. also hanzos dragons cant kill the field so it can counter that combo entirely, just be sure to communicate to your zen so they dont waste ult

dva bomb/junkrat, but it will be instantly destroyed and your team will be very low health, so be careful. it also counters pulse bomb if you get stuck

earth shatter. if you suspect rein has it, stick to the high ground at all costs to avoid being caught! this is good advice in general for supports, but especially for ones with defensive abilities

in that same vein, you can counter emp if you can avoid being caught by sombra. note that sombra can hack baps frisbee so watch out

genji. genji can kill the field but it takes away from the amount of slashes he has and in this time your team should be able to kill him. if hes nanoboosted, you have less time to get to safety, so try charging your boots to get away from him in the meantime

mccree. high noon cant target the field. press f for everyones favorite trash cowboy. (it can however help friendly mccrees and pharahs from dying as soon as they hit q so try to combo!)

speaking of pharah, its possible to get her to kill herself with barrage if you put your frisbee right in front of her face

not good ultimates to try to counter:

doomfists ult can be avoided by charging your shoes and jumping up in the air (as long as youre not directly beneath him lol) so its not worth it unless you see someone else about to be smashed

related to doomfist, if he gets on you it can be hard to set the field down right bc of how his abilities displace you, so be sure to look straight down when you use it

reaper, soldier, and bob all auto target the field, so if its out in the open it just disintegrates

torbjorn and hammonds ults also kill the field pretty much immediately

also, as good as immortality is, there are some situations where baptiste just doesnt work as well as other heroes. if you have a good zen or lucio who use their ults well, or if you have a really mobile/spread out comp, you might want to pick one of the other main healers.

if in general you feel like youre not doing enough healing, try switching to mercy to reach your teammates better. if you need crowd control or anti heal then pick ana, and moira can be good at lower ranks if youre not getting any peel/dying too much (just please keep focusing on healing)

on that note, if your other healer insists on playing dps moira, baptiste is a good fit since he can main heal and also provide defense abilities to make up for that

as for his regenerative burst, all i really have to say is to try not to use it out of panic every time you take chip shots (i do this still lol) it works best when you and your teammates are all in a fight, actively taking damage

im sure that even with all i wrote im still forgetting something but i think im gonna call this done for now. i uhhhh love baptiste a lot and think hes a good hero to try to rank up with bc his primary fire has a high skill ceiling but his healing/abilities are more forgiving at lower ranks

[098lnr3m-blog]

I really need a cheap auto car insurance?

I really need a cheap auto car insurance?

i need a car insurance my record its not really that good!!! does anyone know about any car insurance that deal whit this kind of drivers on new jersey

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurefinder.xyz

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[ts-autumns-world]

Episode 4: “Tua supremacy babey” - Lily O

I GET TO REUNITE WITH JINX YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

me waking up to see that im in the new tribe: https://media.tenor.com/images/93212119a4887f9fa0ad945c7ae2a5d0/tenor.gif

tbh i expected the swap since like we have 14 rn so its a reasonable number to do a swap before the merge.. but like this swap sucks not only me being the only one from og eener but its also me having to be with these 4 whites ppl. you know i don't trust white ppl except mikki SDFSDFSDFSDF so this absolutely SUCKS. and geekoffilm is on another tribe too.

URGH i hope i can team up with jinx and jude. and joey and i used to play together in CoW so hopefully, i am able to make him want to work with me again.. but monty... monty is very skeptical cause like they could just vote me off now. BUT THEN, i know that either jinx or raffy has the idol for sure, so maybe i need to ask jinx for that. or i just ask the person who i'll be up against with in the tic tac toe to throw a challenge if they are the og eener too. 

much to think about bestie booth. i wanna trust these ppl so bad but i have trust issues

https://youtu.be/JrXnnD5KU0I

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naur this is the plan if we go to council

imma be like joey

you are the only cis white man on the team

you have to go. 

you wanna be an ally?

THIS IS HOW!!!

so im pushing for u FEWEJFEEFJEFEIFEFIJW 

heS ALWAYS SAYING HE WANTS TO BE A BETTER ALLY

ALWAYS CALLING ME LIKE JINX IM SO SORRY

ILL BE LIKE FOR WHAT?? 

HE'S LIKE FOR BEING A WHITE CIS STRAIGHT MAN. 

IF UR REALLY SORRY ULL LEAVE!

I have to start this out by saying Giraffez, I’m so sorry! I tried my best but too many people wanted to keep us comp strong and wanted Lily O to stay. I really wish we would have had the chance to play longer together but sometimes it’s just not in the cards.

As far as swap goes, I’m really happy about my team. We have a majority from my original group which is pretty wild. I wish Chips was here and I really hope he makes it work somehow but I’m ngl I’m a little worried about him.

I was so so thrilled to see Jinx on Tua with me. I also have started talking with Captain and Jude. They both seem super nice so as always I’m hoping to avoid tribal once again.

I’d like to the think that original Llih (was that how you spelled it?) will stay together but Giraffez told me that Lily O told her that she was voting for me. Now obviously we all voted Giraffez but I think Lily O knows I was plotting. So. I hope we can stick together. But. Yeah. Your girl is worried. And excited. She is excited cause this group seems cool. But nervous because yeah I’m not ready for another vote out. Mkay. Bye.

This swap went pretty well for me all things considered. I still have a bunch of people from my OG Tribe, and the new people seem active and really nice! So, I like my tribe. Blake offered to me today to work together closely in the game which I am down for. The semi-inactive people need to stick together and all that lmao. Other than that, I am straight Vibing

Swap time! honestly its time to kick it into high gear and win this immunity challenge! make some real allies!

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD!!!!!! So I have arrived in a swapped team with 3 of my old members! SOOO happy Mikki is here firstly since we can discuss basically anything. Blake and Raffy im also cool with but not like as close with them. Maybe a bit more with Blake. Of the new people my fav is Chris !! Already liking our chats and hope it can turn more strategic later maybe!! Ricky is also cool and funny and chips I was allies with him in Kili which is cool but probably the weakest connection of the new people so far!! It looks like we are gonna lose and if so its kinda hard like on one hand we have easy majority to vote off idk probably chips or maybe ricky or we could go against tribal linesI think Blake truly does wanna work with me tho but is just busy. Like going against tribal lines is kinda fun but maybe dumb. And chips being the 1 in a 4-2-1 swap sucks too!! Idk kind of evaluating the vibe with Mikki and will see what we think later if we lose… we would probs be safe regardless being protected by tribal lines on one side and having developed sorta good vibes with Chris and Ricky from the other side so probs wouldn’t be targeted from that angle either?? Hopefully… I did have kind of a delayed start with the new people cuz of irl stuff but yah we will see!

My opinion on swap was initially sad because I was missing out on Jinx/Jude/Joey/Captain BUT then I realize I like this tribe?? Im with Ricky still, Mikki probably is sitting at the cookout as we spesk, Chips is lowkey goody but I got my eye on him, Benj and I bond over Agatha Christie <3, Blake I knew from TDI so we have been goofin like a Goofy movie, Raffy I actually enjoy that we chat of the most mundane things, and that's everybody! I think I have a chance to survive on this tribe

---

My thoughts are that I've got Ricky and Mikki at minimum. I know Mikki/Raffy got beef but I doubt they go for each other. Chips is like a level-headed Joey but I reckon one of him/Blake/Benj will be targeted if I had to guess. Nevertheless me and Captain talked during our matchup and exchanged info. My hope is me or Ricky are in Outhouse but I also hope not so we have higher odds to keep the goodies all goodie and safe

https://voca.ro/18WSqZznajDx

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I LOVE JUDE

so idk where my last confessional left off but i think it was before tribal. so after tribal, jinx’s manifestations came true, we swapped, i ended up on a tribe with no one i knew except chris, so that was kind of…nnng. but hey, gotta roll with the punches. me and jinx were paired up for the challenge which game me a bit of time to talk with them, and they gave me some insight on ppl i didn’t really know on my tribe, and also they gave me a tarot reading, and it basically said that while i’m probably gonna have to deal with some bullshit, i just have to use everything i’ve learned to get over any obstacles, and stay calm and collected through it all. i’m really really praying for this one, since we just lost immunity, and now chris is going to the outhouse, i’m afraid that i’m truly all alone now. and if there’s one thing that scares me it’s being alone. i really like mikki tho, and i heard benj was good ppl. maybe if i let them know that raffy might have the half idol then maybe they’d be more inclined to work with me, but i also really enjoy raffy’s presence, so i don’t really want him to be a target. blake and i have had a good amount of dialogue so i’m hoping that he’d be willing to work with me, to be honest. ughhhhh why why why tribal. WHY TRIBAL. in all my years of playing tumble survivor i’ve never been sent to like…and exile or redemption island ONCE. not once….ever…. please god let me get to the outhouse just one time.

First of all, lemme just say I'm so amused by how quickly my chances of no-votes went RIGHT out the door. But also thank god that it went off without a hitch! And right before a swap, no less New tribe is definitely iconic. LOVE Jinx, Captain and Jude are cool too, and then my Llih buddies are also v nice to have (shoutouts monty and joey)

Tua supremacy babey

https://youtu.be/oP7DWOnmt40

https://youtu.be/Z3_pyWTdRh8

https://youtu.be/UFshPYJ98z0

hello confessional booth... i'm here to give you um. something i hope!!!! 

well since the swap, i feel like i've managed to fit in better than i expected cause ive been feeling under the weather and i don't rlly have energy to talk to anyone (which is so great that our tribe won this IC) but i rlly need to work on that more for sure..

joey wants to work with me.. like a lot. we worked together for a bit in CoW before he was voted out and he was a great ally to me back then so i think i can trust joey a little bit? and he rlly wants the pocs to go far so i think this is a good sign.

with jinx, we've been wanting to talk about the outhouse thing but jinx wants to call and i've been feeling sick so we haven't called but hopefully we can do that soon. i trust jinx a lot and i know they're gonna take care of me.

jude.. you know i like her since i saw her intro vid so yup gonna need to talk to her more!!!

lily c.. my fellow teacher pls SFSFSDFSD i enjoy our chat a lot like idt its much but every time we talk, with her, it just feels great and nice and like we just get to know each other so far so i hope we can talk game a bit more but we'll see

lily o.. we haven't talked since the day the swap happened. idk why. maybe she's busy or maybe i should dm her first so i think i'm gonna do that tmr my time if i have the energy.

and monty... PLEASE idk if i can trust monty or not. like he's a good friend of mine but my experience in orgs with them is that they tried to break the swp apart (which was smart but then mikki and i are both playing so gotta keep an eyes on them)

i'm just trying to feel good and hopefully recover soon cause i hate being sick. idk i'm scared of covid!!!!! but i haven't gone outside for a week or two methinks so we're gonna pray and see.

---

missing mikki and hope she will be fine

Blake suggested starting an OG Eneer alliance to Mikki and Benj. They took them up on the offer so I guess I am in my first alliance of the game based on arbitrary reasons. In any case, they seem to want to vote out Chips which is a RIP. But whatever keeps me safe for one more round.

I don’t have an obsession with the Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood sketch from SNL... No I clearly don’t... https://youtu.be/whfQf3Pd5bU

It’s my chronic overthinking in this swap that is going to do me in, I feel. It’s the pressure of having to actually think differently, and coming off of EVERYTHING I’ve seen in this community over the past 6 months, oh good Lord have mercy, I feel as though its so hard for me to want to not sacrifice my game, but at the same time... I feel all the pressure in the world to flip. I did have a lucid dream that if I got to a point where I consistently voted only white people at every Council, it would make my game look REALLY good by comparison, since I literally did everything I could, and no, I don’t want to hear anyone post season say this was rigged for Jinx, it’s not, we’re only going to go against each other down the road because of how this season has been set up, and it breaks my heart

https://photos.app.goo.gl/eSvSGkc4zmBfnYVP7

So here's some tea I suppose. I was a pretty big fan of the tribe swap because people talked more in general. This was particularly interesting considering their different timezones but continued ability to keep up conversation. It was pretty apparent that I was at a numbers deficit from my original tribe but my hope was that people didn't want to play like "that" and then if they did that my former tribe would throw it to keep the numbers. Apparently that is not true as Lily C went as hard as possible to win a challenge she could have convincingly thrown as an "accident" multiple times. At any rate, based on the total lack of communication with me concerning who I am voting it is evident that either the plan is to vote someone without telling me or that it is to vote me. This means that regardless of the situation I am in a terrible position and will be leaving sooner rather than later. I don't know that I've been swap screwed in the past (perhaps, I've been playing for too long) but it really stinks. 

For the TL;DR watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzftXB28gBE

 http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-no-sir.gif

As I'm writing this, I have a big gulp from... you guessed it... 7/11. I need to flip on one of the three of Monty, Lily O, and Lily C. My best option is going to vote for Lily O, I need Monty and Lily C to know I'm only doing this because yanno, things look awfully awful, and the pressure of making the right move and yet making sure I don't lose relationships is starting to get to me.

I also need them as shields because theyre the only winners in this game, and I need them here as shields for down the road heading into a merge.

I can't even believe I found TWOA IDOLS! I had to think a lot about who to give it too but I decided to do what felt like the smartest thing to do. Jinx and Captain already trust me and I enjoy Ricky but he gives semi chaotic energy. With that in mind, I had to give it to Jude as a sign of faith. Not only am I wanting her to do well, but I want to prove to her I legit want to work with her come merge 😊

https://youtu.be/vOn8Zsi0njA

https://youtu.be/UWTB-LYjbu0

for Chips: https://youtu.be/lSeDZdSEl4o

[this-book-has-been-loved]

Of Robots and Rocketships: Chapter 2

For @platonicvldweek​ day 2: Lion / Lamb

Chapter 1

Read it on Ao3 | Read it on FFN

It was Katie who texted first.

Two days after the competition (two days of Hunk not wanting to be the first one to say anything cuz would that be seen as too clingy??) his phone went off.

Katie: hey! how’ve you been? dad said he was sorry he missed you

A thousand thoughts were running through his head. He stared at the message for a long time, mentally dissecting it, trying to think of how best to respond.

The last part especially stuck out to him, since it implied two very important things: firstly, that Katie (and Matt?) had told their dad about him--and secondly, that Dr Holt actually wanted to meet him.

Hunk took a deep breath, quelling his thoughts, before starting to type out a response.

Hunk: Hi! I’ve been pretty good, you? And I’m sorry your dad couldn’t make it too; maybe next time?

Okay. That was good, right? Open, friendly, not too eager—

He was taking this too seriously.

He flopped over backwards onto his bed with a groan. Why was this so hard?

Katie: unfortunately ‘next time’ isnt until next year unless youre going to robocup

Hunk: I don’t think so :/

Katie: boo

They went on like that a little longer, making small talk about the little things, the things they already knew about each other. After about half an hour, the conversation dwindled to a stop. And it was days before it was picked up again.

It started that way at first: brief conversations, making general small talk, testing the waters. As the months went by, they got more and more comfortable with each other; by the time winter melted into spring came around, they were texting nearly every day, about the smallest things.

Katie: what about ur dad?

Hunk: Oh actually I don’t have one

Katie: oh shoot im sorry

Hunk: No that’s not what I meant XD I don’t have a dad cuz I have two moms

Katie: OH

“So who’s Katie?”

Hunk glanced up at his mom in surprise. “What?”

She gestured towards his phone, which was sitting on the table a foot away from him while he read. “You got a text message, sweetie.”

Hunk lunged for his phone, opening the message in a rush.

Katie: random question: star wars or star trek?

“It’s that girl he met at the competition back in Flagstaff,” Mama called from the next room.

“Phoenix,” Hunk corrected offhandedly. “Flagstaff is where her school was from.”

Hunk: Aw come on, you can’t make me choose!

Katie: help me win an argument against my brother

Katie: help me obi wan kenobi youre my only hope

“Oh, you made a friend?” Mom continued. “That’s great! What’s she like?”

“Um,” Hunk mumbled, still distracted. “Well, she likes peanut butter. And peanut butter cookies? But not peanuts, she says they’re too dry.”

Hunk: I’m sorry Katie, I’m going to have to go with Star Trek. The tribbles episode owns my soul

Katie: I CANT BELIEVE THIS

“Oh!” Hunk added with a smile, setting his phone down and giving his mom a starry-eyed look. “And you’ll never guess who her dad is!”

Hunk: So...what’s up?

Katie: i am eating peanut butter by the spoonful and i couldnt be happier

Hunk: Sounds like a day well spent :P

Mid-February, Katie was in class, her phone in her lap hidden under her desk. She and Hunk only had an hour difference in time zones, but that still lead to schedule conflicts. Hunk had texted her when he got out for lunch; Katie, and hour later, was already back in class after her own lunch break.

But that didn’t stop her from continuing the conversation.

(It’s not like Mr Hedrick was teaching anything new, anyways.)

Hunk: I’ve actually been looking into the garrison application process. I’ve been wanting to go there for ages and I’ll finally be old enough this fall

Katie: !!!!!!!!!

Katie: DUDE YOU TOTALLY SHOULD

Hunk: I want to!! But the application is pretty intensive

Katie: aw come on i know you can do it

Hunk: Thanks ^_^

Hunk: What about you, are you you applying?

Katie: still too young *eyeroll* its still a few more years till i turn 16

Hunk: What??

Katie: dude im like 12

Katie: i turn 13 in april

It was a couple minutes before he responded, and Katie bit her tongue to keep herself from laughing out loud in the middle of class.

Hunk: But you’re in high school?

Hunk: I’ll be honest here, I thought we were the same age O.O

Katie: yeah i skipped 7th and 8th grade

Hunk: :O

Hunk: You’re like a little child genius or something

She stifled another laugh with a cough. She glanced up to make sure that the teacher hadn’t looked over, then went right back to her phone.

Katie: yeah thats what they told me

Katie: probably explains why this class is so fucking boring

Hunk: LANGUAGE

Hunk: Wait are you in class right now??

Katie: ....quite possibly

Hunk: Get off your phone, young lady, and pay attention!!

Katie: but i already know all thiiissssss

Hunk: Respect your elders

Katie: booooooo

Hunk: (•̀o•́)ง

Katie: omg you nerd

Katie: fiiiiine

Hunk: I’ll talk to you once you get home from school ^_^ ♥

She smiled down at her phone screen before closing out of the messages app. Part of her was tempted to just pull up something else—a book, or the web browser—but she stopped herself with a sigh. She turned off the phone, stuffing it into her back pocket.

Later.

Hunk: I just thought you were really short, I didn’t realize you were a BABY

Katie: i hate u

The Garrison application process was even more daunting when he was actually filling it out. In the past, when he would look it up online to mentally prepare himself for the day when he’d finally get to fill it out, it all seemed so easy.

But now, he was starting to think he was biting off more than he could chew.

Between the GPA requirements, the essay, the mechanical skills project, the letters of recommendation, the other essay, the entrance exam, the preliminary engineering classes—

It was a lot.

And it was especially a lot when he had to juggle all that in addition to his regular schoolwork. Hunk glared at the pre-calc textbook open on his desk until the numbers all swam together.

He groaned, slamming the book shut and leaning back in his chair.

His phone vibrated, and he reached for it blindly.

Katie: maybe a rover-type probe? like what you guys did for the comp. that was pretty good

Hunk let out a long slow exhale. The physical project was causing him the most trouble at the moment, having to prove his engineering prowess by building something all on his own. It was arguably the most important part of the application, and Hunk had no clue what to do for it.

Hunk: Yeah but if I’m going to get into the garrison then my project needs to be more than just GOOD

Katie: how about a robotic turtle

Hunk: ...why?

Katie: why not

Hunk: I can probably think of a few reasons

Katie: turtles are cool bro

Hunk: Fair enough

A weary smile had managed to break through his look of frustration. Hunk glanced back at the pre-calc book, then sighed again as he slowly opened it back up.

One thing at a time.

Katie: bro u should go to bed its 1am

Hunk: Which means it’s 2am for you, right?

Katie: yeaahhh but i drank coffee mixed with redbull a couple hours ago im good

Hunk: KATIE NO

Matt and Sam made a point to come home on the weekends, and it was an occasion that Katie relished in.

She spent her days in Matt’s room, lying on his bed and keeping him company while he worked at his desk. She had her phone open to the messages app, idly relaying her conversation with Hunk to her brother.

“Yeah, Hunk has been working on his application for the Garrison.”

“Really?” Matt asked, spinning in his office chair. “That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, he’s going in for engineering,” she continued. “I’m really excited for him.”

“Does he need a letter of rec?”

“Um, lemme ask,” she replied, already typing.

Katie: matt wants to know if u need a letter of rec

It was a bit before he responded, and she watched the typing bubble appear, then disappear, then appear again. She smirked.

Hunk: Oh my god

Hunk: We only met once, does he know me well enough?

Katie rolled her eyes, reading the message out loud to Matt.

“Psh, ‘course I do,” Matt said flippantly. “I got to see his work back at the competition, and that’s the most important part, if I’m being honest.”

Katie: dude. you guys talked for ages about engineering crap

Hunk: Oh gosh. I don’t want to inconvenience him at all.

“He says he doesn’t want to inconvenience you.”

Matt let out a long groan. “Oh come on, I’m already writing them for Alec and Luca, what’s one more? I like Hunk.” He paused, thinking. “Here, ya know what, give me the phone.” He grabbed the phone from Katie’s hands without waiting for her response.

“Hey,” she protested, but Matt merely shushed her and continued to type away.

“There,” Matt said with a smirk as he hit send. A minute later, the phone vibrated, and Matt cackled, already typing a response.

“What did you say?!” Katie demanded, lunging for the phone.

Matt easily evaded her reach. “You’ll see,” he said cryptically. “But I think I’ve gotten through to him.”

When the phone went off again, Matt let out a cheer. “Alright,” he said triumphantly, tossing the phone back to Katie. “We are a go!”

Hunk: Happy birthday!!! (＾▽＾)

Katie: im officially a teenager bitch!!

Hunk: LANGUAGE!

Hunk: Jeez Katie you’re a little baby, you shouldn’t be saying stuff like that, you’re practically an infant!!

Katie: fuck

Hunk: /_(0{}0)_\

It was the middle of dinner when her phone went off.

“Katie,” her mom scolded as the girl grabbed at her phone and opened the message.

Katie ignored her, waving her hand impatiently. “Shh, it’s important!”

“Katherine, what could possibly—”

Colleen was interrupted by Katie’s sudden squeak of excitement. “He got in!!!” she squealed.

“Hunk?” Matt asked, beaming. “That’s great!”

Across the table, Sam’s eyes had lit up. “Fantastic!” he proclaimed. “Tell him congratulations for me,” he said. “I look forward to working with him.”

“Careful,” Katie warned, already typing. “You’re gonna break him.”

Katie: dad says hes looking forward to working with you. he and matt wish you congratulations

Hunk: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hunk: Thank you!!!!!!!! ＼(≧▽≦)／

Katie: hunk.exe has stopped working

It was summer when the Galaxy Garrison officially announced the Kerberos mission, naming the daring crew of astronauts who’d be going on the shuttle, and setting a predicted launch date in September.

The announcement made every headline imaginable, national and international news, NASA, a blurb in Katie’s high school’s newsletter, and just about every online publication in existence.

Katie was doing her homework at time, her phone stashed at the bottom of her backpack. With her headphones in, she didn’t hear it vibrating, too engrossed in her chemistry work.

She had ten new messages by the time she closed her textbook and fished out her phone.

Hunk: DUDE!!!!!

Hunk: I JUST SAW THE NEWS

Hunk: KERBEROS??? THAT’S SO COOL!!!

Hunk: THIS IS SO COOL

Hunk: That’s literally BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY

Hunk: And IT’S A MANNED MISSION

Hunk: THE FARTHEST MANNED MISSION FROM EARTH

Hunk: THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING OH MY GOD

Hunk: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR DAD AND YOUR BROTHER ARE GOING TO PLUTO THIS IS SO COOL

Hunk: Sorry for spamming I’m just REALLY EXCITED

She laughed, carrying her phone and her laptop onto her bed where she could stretch out more comfortably. She flopped over onto her back, holding the phone above her face.

Katie: oh did that get announced today???

Katie: theyve been planning for months im so jealous

Hunk: Aaaaaaa this is all so exciting!

Hunk: I’m just

Hunk: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Katie: same

Katie: kerberos must be so cool

Katie: hunk lets go to outer space

Hunk: Let’s do it

Garrison cadet move-in day was in mid-August.

She got his room assignment from her dad. He’d been more than happy to check the student records for her and send her a quick message with the hall name, floor, and room number.

Katie, not even 13-and-a-half, much too young to be one of the students moving in today, walked confidently down the halls, weaving in and out of parents and students.

Presently, she heard his voice up ahead, coming out of one of the many open door. An excited grin spreading across her face, she ran the last few yards to his room. Bracing her hands on the doorframe, she stuck her head into the room, shouting, “Surprise!”

Inside the room, Hunk yelped as he whirled around in shock. As soon as he caught sight of her, his guard dropped and he broke into a smile. “Katie!” He tackled her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground.

Katie laughed. “It’s so good to see you again!”

“What are you doing here? Wait, no, stupid question.”

She giggled. “I came in with Dad and Matt. They went to do professional officey things, like boring adult paperwork or whatever.”

“Ah, the worst part of adulthood,” Hunk said, nodding sagely. “Don’t worry, Katie, you’ll understand when you’re older.”

She elbowed him. “Shut up.”

He laughed for a moment, and Katie realized that he wasn’t the only one in the room. Standing bemusedly by the closet was a woman who looked so much like Hunk she could only be his mother. She had a gentle smile on her face as she watched the two of them.

Hunk followed Katie’s gaze, and his eyes widened. “Oh, this is my mom,” he said, gesturing to the woman. “Or, well, you know. One of them.”

“Hi,” Katie said, holding out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs Garrett.”

“Please, call me Lani,” the woman said, shaking Katie’s hand. “It’s lovely to finally meet you, Katie. Hunk has told me so much about you.”

“Good things, I hope,” Katie said, casting a dry glance at Hunk. He stuck his tongue out at her, and she stuck out hers at him.

“Only the best,” Lani reassured her with a wink.

“So how have you been?” Hunk asked. “It’s so good to see you! We should, like, hang out at some point and catch up.”

“Oh!” Katie interjected. “Mom told me to invite you guys over for dinner,” she added.

Hunk gasped, and Katie could have sworn she saw stars in his eyes. “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously,” she echoed. “Please?”

“Yes! Absolutely!” Hunk cried. He looked over to his mom. “Right? That’s okay?”

Lani smiled at her son widely. “Of course, sweetie. I’ll go find Kiana.” She squeezed Katie on the shoulder as she walked past her to head out of the room.

“Dinner,” Hunk breathed. “With Doctor Samuel Holt.”

She snorted. “I promise you, he’s a normal person. Just kind of a nerd. But hey, I mean, so are you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Katie.”

Hunk: The Kerberos launch is only a couple weeks away, omg

Katie: i knowww im so jealous

Katie: i might just stowaway on the shuttle tbh

Hunk: That sounds potentially life-threatening, please do not

Hunk watched the Kerberos launch live on TV.

They’d only allowed family to watch from the ground, and though Katie had offered to try to sneak him in, he’d declined. Instead, he watched it on the massive projection screen that the Garrison had set up for students.

In some of the camera shots, he could make out the tiny purple-clad figure of Katie on the observation deck, standing beside her mother.

“This truly is a momentous day in human history,” the newscaster was saying. “If successful, the Kerberos Mission will mark the farthest that anyone has traveled from Earth. We’re making history here, folks.”

The launch was glorious. With a blast of fire and a cloud of smoke, the shuttle took off, the cameras trained on it all the way out of the atmosphere, until it was just a tiny speck against the blue of the sky. The crowd gathered in the Garrison commons room let out a cheer. Hunk’s roommate, an aspiring pilot named Lance, propped his elbow on Hunk’s shoulder.

“That’s gonna be us someday,” Lance told him with surprising conviction. “Seeing the stars, traveling to worlds never before seen.”

Hunk smiled. “I can’t wait.”

Hunk: Oh my god

Hunk: Katie I’m so sorry oh my god

Hunk: Are you okay?

Hunk: Sorry, stupid question

Hunk: Can I do anything to help?

Hunk: Katie?

✓ Read 11:17 PM

[cow5secondchance]

Episode 4 - Honestly I’m a Vindictive Person - Blake

Format: The Penthouse

Eliminated: Mario & Jennet (4-4-4 // 4-4-1)

WILLIAM

NICOLE

These little weirdos don’t know what they’ve just done! Lit a fire under my ASS. I’m so sick of feeling down in this game like every week is something else that I get dragged into and then the one week I’m planning nothing, thinking everything is going smoothly and my number 1 ally goes home after literally being pummeled the whole game. I’m so damn annoyed. I want the switch, I want top of the penthouse or whatever they call it. I want power so I can feel like I can shake things up!!!! 

CAPTAIN

hello everyone i forgot to update yall since the second week so here we go! so we pulled off the plan to evict wyatt and i was so scared that they were going to pick me but i guessed they still love me and that makes me feel bad but urgh.. i just hope they could be able to come back </3 now we're moving to the daisy chain round in which isaac ruined everything after he saved nicole when he should save mario so thats a red flag. anyways, i came up with the plan to save everyone from the greenhouse and pretty people wink wink and i did that so congrats me. anyways, isaac put mario up and i was like maam not mario. no one talked to me about the votes. the alliance with blake, jennet, autumn, nicole, isaac and jarod? i think was made and now blake is upset with me for not telling him everything when i didn't talk about anyone in this vote and i just voted out isaac because i couldn't vote out mario? so white man.... urgh 

these white ppl are freaking out too much

XAVIER

I want to end up in the Penthouse. Put Kaleigh last, so she gets eliminated, as I don't think her Defender will save her. And then the 4 options left, the 6 who voted together now will just have to vote together again. I want those who are really playing to stay longer, even if they are threats to me. It's just more fun. So none of those just popping up to vote :) All plans though. Might delete later haha.

JAROD

NYX

So this week went the way I wanted it to but not without a bunch of complications. So the daisy chain went pretty well I mean we controlled it from beginning to end and I think that we made it obvious enough to where the greenhouse people weren't seen as an immediate target. Then isaac and kaleigh ended up being up for banishment and I was really happy since kaleigh i don't talk to as much and i just voted isaac as well as him being way too chaotic for my liking. When Kaleigh won the uproot though that's when i got nervous because that meant there was gonna be a replacement and of course with my luck it was mario. Now this round changed my outlook on a lot of things because when i was campaigning for mario mario didn't do anything. He wasn't talking to people, he wasn't making bonds, and it's so fucking hard to save someone who won't save themself. There's also the fact that all of sequester voted the exact same way to save isaac which is also suspicious. Granted we in the greenhouse did as well. So this makes me realize that probably sometime soon, i'm gonna have to renege on the greenhouse four because mario clearly isn't gonna help my game much when it's my ass and were gonna be such an obvious target moving forward. Since the vote was 6-4 besides sequester and GH i don't think there's any clear alliances made so depending on who wins power this round i'm gonna have to make the move. the question right now is just how?

I put a lot of effort into winning that penthouse comp so it sucks that I didn't win BUT. If there was anything i trust to put my faith in it's definitely william since we just pulled a big move together so ik he'll at least have my back. I think i have a good chance of surviving this round but i guess we'll see

XAVIER

I AM SO BAD AT CHALLENGES. I reviewed the videos and all the details. But got bogged down with reading Wyatt's question - not the color of the shirt Wyatt is wearing! And just counted the painted art of Jennet, not the total. OH WELL. I have a pretty good relationship with William. I don't think I'll be in the bottom 5. Just depends now on who has the Switch and if it will be used on me. I feel it is with Jarod. Who else would Isaac give it to? Maybe Jarod won't use it on me, I think Jarod would have other targets aside from me at this point. So Greenhouse 4 still here. Mario is ... Mario. Wish Mario were more active. Harder to defend Mario now. I have a good relationship with Lindsay, William, even Kaleigh. Jarod too. Blake we get to talk. Autumn, Nicole and Jennet, I have been reaching out, but they are just so "busy" or maybe I am just not on their priority list. The Greenhouse 4 (well, 3 without Mario), William, Jennet, Lindsay voted together last round. So hopefully if we get to stick together this round, we will be safe too.

BLAKE

im feeling a bit down about my spot in the game! I think im probably a pick to go soon, and I really just need to find my footing in order to make a move in this game gr! last week i was at work, but it seems like william and nyx flipped the vote? but i cant be angry about it w/ william even though i AM so i decided just to rant about everybody ELSE to william and i think my whineyness is really working for me, serving nicole franzel, because i think william wants jennet gone which is like- good cause i think shes in the middle of the game.

CAPTAIN

william won the power! so.. i really don't know the outcomes tbh cause like even though we voted together last round, i didn't really talk to him (or anyone) about the vote. so i'm a little worried. i just hope the bond that we have made on the first round helps a bit with his decision.. please please i just wanna make it..

JAROD

XAVIER

Nice line up for bottom 5, William. Most voted with him last round except for Nicole and Kaleigh. I think he believes Kaleigh won't be saved and so eliminated first. And then Nicole would be the target. I was surprised Isaac gave Nicole the switch. I thought it would go to Jarod. Maybe Isaac thought that too, so shook things up a little. I don't think Nicole will switch me. I would want the kill used, so we don't worry about it later on. But if mostly Greenhouse is on the bottom (if Nicole switches out with Nyx), then we should use save to mess things up.

Why does it feel like I am the only one making strategic plans with these 3? Am I in the wrong alliance? Maybe I can get us 4 to sure Jury and switch to Nicole, Jarod and Blake. Ugh. Tiring.

NYX

So, this week I thought that I would be good I mean william won the penthouse comp I was safe and while the bottom five wasn't desirable i'll take it. Then of course karma comes back to bite me in the ass and the guy i orchestrated a vote out for chose the one person I couldn't have getting the karma got it and i know for a fact based on the fact nicole refuses to hold any type of intelligent conversations with me i'm in trouble

XAVIER

Could it be? Don't want to jinx it but..... https://youtu.be/wKP0hNmg4gE 

BLAKE

I’m so glad I had a literal mental breakdown last week over everything because one thing didn’t go my way. Really embarrassing for me BEBSNSNSK but anyways! Moving on! I’m hoping Kaleigh doesn’t get the boot honestly and it’s a heavy vote, considering I put in a lot of work to get myself to 2nd in the totem poll and had to release a lot of information to William to get here, it would be really unfortunate if I were to somehow end up vulnerable through a twist ! The reason I don’t want Kaleigh gone is because there are 2 other people I would rather go in the bottom (jennet and captain) for flipping. Honestly I’m a vindictive person and LOVE them but, they gotta GO just out of spite truly. I’m really happy with the new alliance of Lindsay myself William and Jarod, and the reason I’m apologizing for being a literal nut job last week is because I made everything about me, I was spiralling because I was having stress with work and everything I think? Who knows? And I really don’t think I’m in as bad of a spot as I thought I was, especially if I can knock out some big players and Isaac or daisy wins the battle back. As for the battle back!  I’ll rank the 4 people out right now on how much I want them to return 1- Isaac 2- Daisy 3- Wyatt 4- Lanie 

XAVIER

I AM IN THE JURY FOR SURE! I mean, I want to win, but for sure I am not pre-jury! Now the double vote. It was a waste of the save. Nicole should have just eliminated Kaleigh. Now it means the second round of Penthouse will be an automatic elimination. That would be tough. I know many are looking at Kaleigh and Mario to vote. But if most put votes on Kaleigh, and a few on Mario, could we still swing the second vote off Mario? And onto a bigger threat? Maybe it will help us more farther along in the game. And who doesn't want a group of 4 lasting longer? There might actually be more votes on Mario than Kaleigh, because of the Greenhouse returnees still being complete. Let me think more on this. One of them is surely going home, do you want to save the other for a bigger threat like Jennet or Lindsay? I am cool with Lindsay. Jennet I haven't forgotten being their nominee.

I am not pre-jury! I know I kept saying pre-merge in the video haha Survivor on the brain. https://youtu.be/SErcWUpfCwo 

CAPTAIN

[this is gonna be a throwback diary room entry!] william put me in the bottom 5.. not surprised i think. i was hoping if our connection we made in the first round was gonna help here but its not. but i don't blame him.. i rlly flop with talking to people the past couple of days teehee. so thats kinda the wake up call for me to like keep talking to people or else i'll be over. i don't have any bad blood with william i think but i also won't forget that he's putting me in the bottom 5. period.

NYX

Ok so, with this heavy vote twist this means one of either Jennet, Lindsay, Mario, Captain, or maybe Kaleigh will be up to be voted for. This sucks because those first 4 are close allies. So now i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because i'm gonna have to let one of them go. so now i have to pick my loyalties. I would like to get Kaleigh and maybe Mario out because then we'd be forced to work with other people in other alliances but I just don't think Xavier would turn on them like that. I just have to find some kind of excuse to pull this off. 

CAPTAIN

nicole saved kaleigh! thats good for kaleigh! this vote tho is gonna be something.. i don't wanna go so i'm fighting hard. blake told me he's not voting me. i know i can trust jarod, jennet and autumn and the greenhouse people.. so i think i'll be fine here? but idk. anything freaky could happen. for the voting plan, i think GH4 is gonna do kaleigh so thats 4 votes on her. and hopefully, jarod, jennet, autumn, blake and nicole is doing mario so it would be 5 on him. and lindsay told me she won't vote me so i think she might do mario too? since mario isn't talking to ppl. this is always my issue with mario like i love him but he doesn't even want to save himself and i just can't carry him anymore.

AUTUMN

XAVIER

So I was going to try and vote someone else out. I mean majority look like they are voting Mario. So the G4 would be voting Kaleigh. If I could just convince Mario to vote someone else, it would be 2-2. But then Blake messages and says that the G4 are voting together, so is there something. So in order to just make sure Kaleigh gets out and not cause extra drama, I am sticking to Kaleigh. Well, it is kinda obvious I guess. I just told Blake I wanted to help us all get to "merge" since we had the worst placements of all coming in the game. I hope that was convincing enough.

So G4 voted for Kaleigh, I knew it if I switched to Jennet then Jennet and Mario would have gone home. But at least it's out in the open. So I think Sequester+Jennet voted for Mario. And Penthouse+Survivor (the others) voted for Jennet. Good to know where Jarod and Blake really stand, even with all their messages to me. The swing votes are the other 4. Gotta make better relationships with William, Lindsay and Nicole. And what's up Blake? Outing the G4 in the group call? When Sequester is the same, good thing Nyx brought it up. Watch your back, Blake.

LINDSAY

Not thrilled about this vote for many reasons. So, William gets power, and he messages me, right? "I want to work with you me Jarod and Blake" okay that's cool but uhhh.... there's six white people left in the game and that's four of them... so me and jarod message like "???" and we work to stop the noms from being all POC cuz that's gross (the intention was Jennet+Greenhouse/Nicole which uhhhhhh). I talked him into at least nomming Kaleigh. Me and Jarod were under the impression that Kaleigh would go home tonight for general inactivity (also Mario because he's inactive as piss + a greenhouse kid did probably finally need to go tonight) Where did this Jennet vote come from? Who voted for Jennet? Why are they suddenly a target? I dunno man I couldn't fight it much because I was out with my friend while we were deciding who to vote for but I'm squicked out on every level right now. Clearly people weren't telling the truth to me on top of everything else.... that's not how you win my trust. My god, am I about to goat for Jarod? I think Mario/Jennet are going home but not happy about this all around. 

[strmgrl-blog]

my name’s saturn & this is my meme shop ! aaaaah no, really though bonjour angels ! for a lil introduction for myself let me just get this out of the way GIFJDKL uhhh i love aoa, day6 & sm artists ( like .. all of them Help ). a traumatized bitch who loves suffering so i project onto my muses to Cope ! GIAUDFJKL god gdfroijmkl sorry ummm i love star wars & video games ? catch me throwing an ow comp match & feeding in fortnite ! i love the moon, she’s the only thing that keeps me alive. i don’t have a mitochondria, i have lunar force. i have one (1) indoor cat who i birthed & LITERALLY 4 STRAY CATS who appeared from the mist. i run a ratchet vet service from my front porch & it’s free, i should be named human of the year honestly, truly. more on this mess of a muse, hyeon, who ( btw ) is literally my everything ? i’ve had her for quite a long time & lost motivation to write her so i’m changing some shit up to see how it goes & this is the product ! i hope you all enjoy reading this EXTREMELY long intro ( bc it will be very long im so sorry ) & befriend both myself as well as hyeon. & if you’re feelin’ a little extra, like this to plot ! i have a few ideas in mind but they’re all worth brainstorming over bc they’re SHIT. anyway, i love u all so much already ? genuinely a kind community i’m nut & WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU, here’s hyeon ~  ♥（ﾉ´∀`）

warning ! trigger warnings ahead possibly including ꞉ child prostitution, drug abuse, child abuse, mental abuse, sexual assault, depression, suicidal thoughts + other mental illness, murder, & probably a fuckton more. read with caution, please.

⌠ BACKGROUND ⌡

so starting with her parents, where all stories begin, let’s just preface by saying these were awful people. they ran in similar circles during school, a very bad one at that, & fell in love after sharing a joint. in their high daze they saw what their mind was conjuring but not the truth about one another. but for them, it had been enough. thus, their story began. it was a very rocky road but they managed to stay together regardless. the bond they had created blossomed as they partook in illegal activities such as petty theft, vandalism, & it slowly evolved into larger problems. 

after hyeon’s mother, named jung eunbi, stole from her parents for the last time she was kicked out into the street with her boyfriend ( who had also been kicked out ) with no place to go. both dropped out of high school as it wasn’t their “””scene””” & took to the dirty streets of busan trying to turn tricks. they’d do anything they could to get some money to feed their addictions. in the midst of their scrambling for what they deemed as important, they never thought to buy protection. so one fateful night after a good steal, they made love on a dingy couch high as a kite & eunbi got pregnant.

she hid the pregnancy for as long as she could from her boyfriend, he only noticed when there was a rather apparent bump under her baggy clothing. with the weight of the realization they might have to force themselves to become a real family, the couple got hitched & attempted to find real jobs. in some miracle, they managed to find a house to live in & eventually “raise” their child in. 

hyeon was born on the 8th of june, on a dark morning with clouds hanging ove the sky & rain starting to pour. she was premature as her mother did drugs during the pregnancy ( which was really no shocker ) & almost was pronounced a still born before they heard the tiny being crying & gasping for air. her parents had assumed that once she was born, they’d feel that parental love that everyone claimed to have but it never came. they stayed in the hospital a total of two days & hardly let their newborn get the help she needed before they hauled ass out of there. 

the first 3 years of hyeon’s life were better than expected, her parents at least tried to take care of her but once she was able to do everything on her own they left her be to pursue their own happiness. honestly think of matilda but a lot more severe ok

she would often get locked in a closet while there were parties held & her parents were too strung out to remember their child. she could spend days in there before she was released. this was only the beginning.

at 8 years old, her father lost his job ( her mother stayed at home ) due to a random drug test & he of course failed. this triggered her parents to panic as they no longer could supply themselves with their so desired highs. so after a night of scheming, they came up with a plan so sinister not even the devil himself would agree.

random men & women began to arrive to their dingy home as hyeon would be ushered into quiet rooms with them where they would pay to do whatever they pleased with the young girl. this went on for 2 years before hyeon was pulled into the principals office at school with questions about where those bruises on her came from. her mom was picked up for possession & this prompted the police to raid their home to find many illegal substances throughout the place as well as evidence of abuse towards the child.

soon after her parents were placed in prison, hyeon was shipped off to seoul to the biggest orphanage in the country. there she stayed for 4 more years. the time there was quiet, nobody asked her about where she came from & she never spoke about it. in truth, she never knew how to as she was a blank mind essentially. 

luckily when she was 15, after a long & strenuous search, hyeon’s grandparents found her & adopted her into their home in daegu. they were absolutely appalled at this shell of a girl, but could only blame her trauma on their own children. it was here that hyeon was loved for the first time in her life ( & possibly the only time ) & taught how to feel something besids fear. she was still horribly inept at processing emotions or showing them.

two years spent with them & one night as hyeon & her grandfather were sat at the family piano, playing & singing a song as her grandmother recorded them in secret. that same video was sent to an entertainment company without hyeon’s knowledge but was thoroughly surprised & equally as excited when she was recruited. only a measly year in training with her 2 group members before they debuted & they were suddenly the biggest gg in sk.

the group debuted under the name of PTL, hyeon’s stagename was now Tink as she accompanied her members in the ride of a lifetime. they were extremely popular with their girl crush yet enticing vocals with miss tink as the main vocalist & maknae. even so successful as to have a world tour ! the group had their differences, hyeon being the medium for them as the other girls were rather opposing forces. often she was put in the middle of their arguing only to run away when conflict came up. during this time she would write & compose her own songs, bringing a heavy soul feeling to the group with her powerhouse vocals.

with all this being said ( which was a LOT ), there is still more. a year after debut while the group was climbing in popularity, hyeon began receiving texts from an unknown number. she soon found out that the people behind the mask were her parents, somehow having managed to be released from prison & found their new mission in life was to harass their daughter. on an october night, after an argument went down within the dorms between hyeon’s two members, the youngest set out by herself to meet those who hurt her for dinner. 

as expected, it went horribly. at this point in her life, she was extremely impressionable, & witnessed how her eonnie handled things which was with a liquor bottle in hand. so, like an idiot, she went to a club by herself to get fucked up. while sitting at the bar, a random man drugged her drink & took hyeon home with him. the night was a blur but when the young woman woke up she felt familiar bruises & a blanket of rage took over. the man was still passed out next to her.

so as she slipped out of his bed & found the nearest blunt object, hyeon managed to bash his skull in. she blacked out after that only to come to with clean hands & far away from the corpse. this was the reactant to lead her to go blind in rage & come to with blood on her hands. soon enough, she took a liking to the feeling & became two people within one while somehow managing to remain anonymous as a killer ran rampant.

earlier this year, after too much shit going on within the group, ptl disbanded & all went their own ways. which hyeon appreciated. the people she had once called her sisters had become like strangers & only cared about themselves, didn’t have the time to look after their maknae. 

to say that her already pre - existing depression & anxiety sky rocketed would be an understatement. she left music for a while, deciding to stream on twitch & youtube as a gamer. it made her happy for a short time but has been planning on returning to music with hints of a solo debut soon that has fans excited.

edit: i forgot to put this in here originally IGJFDKL but she moved to jeju after her group disbanded for a new start. plus, her address somehow got leaked so she uprooted all her shit & left for the secluded island.

⌠ OTHER TIDBITS ⌡

stands at 5′7″, 168 pounds ( considered plus size tbh. one day i’ll put picture references LMAO ), with curly, thick hair & freckles from hell. 

can speak english, japanese, chinese, & italian. has a slight british accent from who she learned english from was from the UK.

has a rottweiler puppy named chewie, a hedgehog named leia, & two cats named opal & hazel. 

voice claim is a mixture of lee haeri, kim taeyeon, park sunyoung, & ailee.

her favorite color is blue, loves the rain, & will 100% be caught standing in the middle of a storm.

is a practicing wiccan ! very much so considers herself a witch.

her favorite drink is strawberry milk, & will eat anything that has strawberries !

[bb-bigbang-org]

EPISODE 6 - “I can finally sleep with both eyes closed tonight.” - FROSBY .

.

.

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 21:

Eviction: As expected, Mandi was voted out with a strong majority. It was a shame to see her go, but she really was super quiet in the house and it was a good idea to separate the family before jury.

Announcements: We made it to jury!! I'm so excited!! I will officially have a part in the outcome of finale night. That's pretty cool. We also heard about this Before the Beginning twist, which is pretty interesting. I think the lack of talking in the house won't be too bad because things can be communicated in DMs, it's just a bit more annoying. The not knowing who is winning each thing and what the votes counts are...that's a bit more interesting. This will be quite a week.... The pre-jury twist sounds fun! I have no idea what it will be, but I like the idea.

Plans: If somehow Frosby or I won HOH, we could take out Austin and do it without anyone finding out. The most ideal way this week could go is, Frosby or I win HOH, the other one gets the power to see the HOH, Austin gets backdoored and no one knows who did it…

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 22:

Link Hunt: I am guessing a million things and haven't found a link... I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or if I'm just dumb, but man this is super frustrating. I want the HOH power!!!

Victory!!: Uhm...y'all...I FUCKING DID THAT SHIT!!!! I am sooo excited right now. I would really love to get out Austin this week, he is a big target and I really do not trust him... Lukas is obviously a big target as well, but I trust him a bit more so he is not my priority. Either one would be a good move, though. I told Frosby I won HOH, but that's it. I fully trust him to keep my secret. Drew also messaged me and told me he got the HOH power, so he knows I won. That puts a bit of a wrench in my plans, because Drew and Austin are close, but I'm not going to let that stop me from taking out a huge target. I don't think anyone can blame me for that (even though I'm sure they would). Drew swears he will keep my secret, but I'm preparing for that to go out the window when I put up Austin. Drew told me he is fine with anyone going up, but I don't think he really means that.

FROSBY

Well a lot has happened in the game and yet another one of my allies has fallen to the majority alliance. This time I was the one inside that majority alliance. I only joined the alliance alongside Desiree so we would be in the biggest group of players in the game, but to also know what our enemies were planning. Turns out Brooke made the alliance to tell a large group of people that Mandi and Joe were siblings and because of this Mandi was the next one to go. Thankfully it wasn't Katrina that went because that would have been terrible. 

Anyways we have finished up the next challenge and Desiree ended up winning it! Finally someone who isn't my enemy in this game won HoH, I can finally sleep with both eyes closed tonight. Anyways me and Desiree have been talking and we agree that putting up Lukas v. Joe is the play. The chances of either of those 2 winning so we can backdoor Austin would be fantastic and a perfect part to the plan. Now the thing is Desiree doesn't want me to speak a word to anyone that she won HoH and that I am doing, but while talking to Joe I realized he thinks Brooke is trying to blindside him. I let him know that this was in fact true info and it was that giant alliance that Brooke created that she is using to get the blindside going. 

So anyways I wanted to strengthen my relationship with Joe so I called him on the DMs last night, and wanted to let him know where he was at in the game. I let him know about this giant alliance and how i'm a rat on the inside and I'm doing what I can to twist the alliance whichever way doesn't hurt Joe, Desiree or Katrina. I also let him know that he will be put up this week but he isn't the target. I let him know that the main target is Austin and the fact that we are putting up Lukas and Joe is to make sure they win the Power of Veto. 

Lets hope this plan works and Joe doesn't get voted out, that would be no bueno 

DREW

So continuing my diary room rewind... we're talking about Week 5 and now that its been a few days to really digest my thoughts... here's another round of Drew Dishes.

Lukas wins his third HoH, and I'm just shocked. I really am. I really didn't think that it was possible but here we are... with the results being posted that Lukas winning once again. But that's not the more "whoopdeedo" moment of the week. it was the big reveal that Mandi and Joe are siblings. 

And I had already known the week prior because Brooke literally told Austin who told me. And I'm just sitting here and absorbing the damn tea. Like spill it for me, spill it! I love the tea and I will love to get any and all advantage in this game as much as possible. 

So that happens and Joe wins the veto. Because we need a third comp beast coming into this game. And my veto chip is like.. missing. like- i swear i can't compete in a fucking veto to save my life. But he wins the veto and he's removing himself and leaving Mandi on the block, which absolutely sucks because I truly love Mandi with my absolute heart. 

Like what kind of a mother has a full time job, two children and can be social with everyone and still be so personable? Like HELLLO!! She has to be Wonder Woman in disguise somehow because this game is taking everything out of me just to talk to the same people over and over- so for Mandi to just up and give up against Katrina... sucks. Truly it does. But my connection with Katrina blossomed even more because Mandi straight up ghosted me- and I don't need that in a game for the win tbh :/

So that's it for the rewind. Not much to say because this is all... boring to be fairly honest. Hopefully the Week 6 rewind will be much more juicy! 

SAMMY

https://youtu.be/oXbpcm36TvM

JOE

Terrible week, although I have successfully avoided the block. At, the cost of my allies. I would love to be able to keep Des this week, but I don't know how possible that is. Brooke is still the worst, I love Drew, and frosby is my boy.

DREW

I think we are in the Week 6 rewind? I honestly don't remember. But DARK WEEK... what the fuck is this twist? I honestly don't know how this mess of a week LMAOOOO but whatever it is- this is the perfect time to get a threat out. Meaning, I'm looking at Austin, Lukas or Joe. Because they're major competition threats. 

And would you look at that! I lose yet another HoH, but that's not a problem because I won the Afterglow Advantage which allows me to know who is the HoH and allows me to speak with them and hopefully get my footing into NOT being nominated- and I honestly was so surprised to see Desiree up in that HoH Suite.

But like the nice lady was down to chat with me, and I promised her that I wasn't gonna tell anyone- but I told two people, Lukas and Sammy, that I have this power. But I didn't tell them that Desiree was the HoH until like.. an hour after the results. Which violates my trust with her like immediately, but solidifies my position with Lukas and Sammy even more.

But with Desiree, she gave me the option to throw out a few ideas, and I said that I'm fine with anyone going up as long as it wasn't me. Preferably, one of the three competition beasts- and she agreed. And the week started off with Joe and Lukas on the block, with Austin has a backdoor. I'm ecstatic at that result because both Joe and Lukas trust me enough to let them think that I will use the veto on them, and mawma- that's the best position for me to be in.

And the veto- lemme get to that... I FINALLY GOT TO PLAY A DAMN VETO! The damn veto box decided to spit out my chip for the damn first time! And it was a memory comp, which is something that I am GREAT at... but I only score 11 points. Which is an F in terms of academic grading... like what? I'm better than this! But like Lukas tells me that he wins, so that I'm okay with that. Let this private win expand his target on his back a little more- I won't complain. And who goes up in his place? Austin. Which is also fine by me. I was always planning to stab him in the back one the jury started anyway. 

In order for me to win, I needed to start lacing that jury house with my allies- and I didn't know how much Austin trusted me considering that I made most of his moves during his HoH reign, but I need a good word for those people like Frosby, Brooke and Kayla when they inevitably join the Jury House.

So just like the good little villainous strategist that I am- I immediately start working on getting Sammy, Chloe and Lukas to vote out Austin. Katrina can't vote. Frosby is immediately a vote for Joe to stay, and Brooke and Kayla? Let the evict Joe and look like boo boo the fool. They really voted in the minority if that was the case cause the vote ended in a 5-2 if everything on my end was correct. 

And I think that concludes this shitty twist- cause I'm over it. This rewind, I was dreading to relive because it was four days of pure torture and hell. Like, 2 of those 4 days- i had to be on CALL with Brooke and Joe for 5+ hours. 5 PLUS HOURS. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH ALCOHOL COULD HAVE BEEN FLOWING IN MY BLOODSTREAM DURING THAT TIME? MANY!! MANY PINTS OF ALCOHOL!! I'm just glad that Joe trusts me more now that he's in the game a little longer and I need to start switching my focus on evicting Sammy/Lukas/Brooke/Joe. Once that is complete- I will assume the winner title! 

FROSBY

This is by far the worst eviction pairing PERIOD. Desiree v. Katrina my top 2 closest allies put up on the block against each other. This is actually the worst for me. Like I have no good solutions, I dont want to argue for either of them because the way the vote sounds right now it could go either way. So I don't want to go to people and be like hey vote desiree out, because if desiree survives the vote then im royally fucked with my best ally. But on the other hand I can't be telling people not to vote desiree bc my true goal is to get Katrina to go through with me. The problem is I cant go out an campaign for Katrina because of Joe and Desiree. If I do that then I will lose both of those allies and then I will legit be sitting on the outside of the game, with no allies at all. I even was in a call last night and was talking to desiree and joe and honestly I love both of them and want to keep working with them. I'll put it simple if Katrina goes its not the end of the world I will still have 2 strong allies that both will have bigger targets on their back than me.  While on the other hand Katrina is my sister and we made a final 2 pact that I know for a fact we both want to hold onto so if Katrina can somehow live through this vote not only do we keep that final 2 pact but the fact we are siblings and secretly allies this whole time can continue working in our favor. The key is I need Lukas, Joe, myself or Katrina/Desiree to win this next HoH really bad. Every eviction has been slowly picking off my close allies 1 after the other, the only eviction that went in my favor was austin going home. I need another HoH in my favor or else this game is going to get even harder for me. 

JOE

Well, brooke was evicted and i was ecstatic. Her going was probably best for my game at this point. The double hits and I really did not want to see frosby go. He was basically my number 1 at this point. I tried to use my pre-jury power to save his ass but it was all in vain. I have hopefully secured a final three deal with Drew and Lukas. Only problem is that Drew doesn't trust Lukas all that much. Overall, I've had a good past few cycles and I hope to keep up this streak of not dying.

DREW

Alright another Drew Dishes entry. And this week- we're going to review Cycle 7... and let me tell you... it was something that I dislike. 

The week was just pure distaste for me because Brooke wins HoH... the one person that I wanted to get rid of this week has to be pushed back a cycle cause that bitch gets the one power that essentially lets her call all of the shots. And yours truly is on the block because I don't talk to her... wait what?

Is this bitch for real? LIKE Chloe, Katrina and Kayla are RIGHT there. If you wanted a pawn to go up against Desiree... you put one of them up. Not give a reason towards a vindictive bitch to nominate you the next time he gets HoH... like you clearly did not play this game correctly! 

So then, Desiree and I or D&D in what I nicknamed it... are on the block and Sammy and Katrina are picked for the veto- two people that I trust alot in this game. Obviously aside from Chloe and Lukas, and its a puzzle punishment veto. I love this comp because I'm excellent at puzzles! I ADORE PUZZLES! Anyway, the way that this veto worked out for me because I ended up 2nd place and Sammy gets 1st. Obviously he takes the veto, but the prize that I end up with is $10 from the hostie toasties. Which is AMAZING!! Like free money?!? Unheard of! 

AND that's not the best part. Sammy reveals his cards and plays the veto on me, meaning that it shows that he and I are close this game. Im off the block, I get $10 and all 4 of us in They Suck The Most get to dictate who leaves.. and we selected Desiree to save face with Brooke. Which is sad, but like... eh. No harm done with us.

POST DOUBLE EVICTION CAST ASSESSMENT

https://youtu.be/A-nB9ZD7KVk

[lifeblossom-remaking]

how to effectively Maxwell DPS in the forge: a (rambling) guide

heyo, im seeing lots of guides going up now that the forge is live and no longer in beta and i figure nows a good time for me to explain how ive won as this terrible, terrible frail old man and how he can actually be one of the strongest players on the team!

a few overall tips:

- communicating openly and loudly with the team is vital. youre going to be pretty weak at first and your biggest benefit to the group will be reducing the number of enemies coming to them, especially in rounds that can be overwhelming like the ones with pit pigs and crocommanders

-similarly, youre going to need a team comp thatll work with you. for maximum damage maxwell is going to want both the infernal staff *and* the tome of beckoning (as well as the tome of petrification when the situation calls for it). dont use a maxwell in a game with a wickerbottom, because imho theres really only room for one magic dps per game (though he does great with willow as a teammate, given willow can take fire physical dps with the molten darts)

-its going to seem stupid but youre going to want heavy armor once your tank(s) is/are outfitted and there happen to be extras. trust me.

now, starting out: maxwell is frail as shit. he has 75 max hp. with his starting armor, he dies in three hits to the snortoises, and if he gets hit from max hp by the scorpeon acid, he will get knocked down to 10 hp once the acid leaves your system. you absolutely do NOT want to get hit. dont even bother trying to hit enemies with your book unless youre absolutely confident in your ability to get away from their retaliation and are doing it to keep them grouped up for petrification purposes.

this guide’s going to explain how to be a king of multitasking via both tomes and the infernal staff. given maxwell has the shadow clone special ability, which does about 150 damage when it procs, AND can summon the magma golem to do consistent damage on top of his infernal staff usage, he is very, very good at taking down bosses and keeping their attention if need be!

besides that: though i focus on how wonderful and sexy the infernal staff and tome of beckoning are, the tome of petrification is HUGELY useful. be sure you keep an eye on your cleric. if theyre surrounded and trying and failing to cast, you can easily swoop in on the distracted enemies and freeze them in their tracks so your healer can revive or cast life blossom.

however, that means getting past the first few rounds. the pit pig and crocommander rounds are hell on earth as a maxwell. in the beta, he was able to consistently petrify enemies if he got the crystal tiara due to the recharge being just fast enough - however, it got rebalanced in the new update, either slowing down the cooldown or shortening the time enemies stay petrified. its better to let the healer take the crystal tiara (unless they insist). stay out of the thick of things, or just run around and try not to get hit if youre being pursued because the pit pigs are fast enough to get to you before you can petrify them.

your time to shine will come when your healer gets a life blossom spell up. once all the enemies are grouped up - this is where communication is vital, because this is where i see the most mistakes - let your physical dps units get their anvil strikes/pyre poker attacks off, and THEN petrify the enemies while theyre stunned. this will let them pick off the severely damaged enemies at their leisure. dont be afraid to be assertive in text or voice chat! remind the others to take turns getting those attacks off as the healing goes down, and keep track of how many are left to go. the worst feeling is getting a petrify up as soon as someone else undoes all that with an anvil strike.

when its time for the crocommanders, the best you can do is petrify one of the two groups as soon as they spawn in, then continue to stay out of the thick of things. the best ive found to petrify a group without getting completely mauled or them running out of the circle is actually going after a group of enemies that the tank has busy - and of course, communicate as always. thisll make it easier for them to either clean up the pit pigs or pick off the crocommanders if you make your intentions clear so they can stop attacking the petrified enemies.

the snortoises are the next round that youll only be able to petrify in. let your kite take the top or bottom group of two - youre going to want the group of three that spawns to the bottom-right. its not hard to keep them petrified, given how slow they are and how little you have to worry about dodging them, even if its tempting to sometimes whack one as it starts to wander off. youll probably get spiked in retaliation - keep in mind you can only survive three of those hits. just make sure you keep communicating and dont let anyone else, not even your kite, (well, okay, your kite can, but its very annoying), get those three away from you or unpetrified.

after the snortoise round is when the infernal staff drops. the scorpeons are much more dangerous than the snortoises, but youll be able to actually hold your own for once. just keep your distance and be sure to consistently attack one - and keep an eye on your healer as always, in case theyre having difficulty with aggro, so you can switch back to your petrification tome and freeze the scorpeons. i find it easiest to keep the two weapons, whenever i switch, in the middle, so that i can always see where they are.

you dont need to worry as much about petrifying as enemies wake up; now you can join the physical dps team. try to remember about how long life blossom lasts; the meteor spell takes a long, long time to cast, and youd want to get it to land about when the flowers are fading away. its helpful in that it can stun enemies for a short time, too, in case anybody needs to get out. if youre going to cast it on a group of moving enemies, it follows the same rules as petrify, just takes longer to cast; try to predict where theyll be moving a few seconds ahead, especially if theyre chasing a teammate.

this really should go unsaid, but do everything you can to not get hit by the acid. stick with your healer if youre hit, because youre almost guaranteed to go down unless youre able to avoid any more hits afterward.

the tome of beckoning should drop towards the middle to end of this round. it summons a magma golem that does about the same damage as you do with the infernal staff, and as consistently, but it goes down rather easily and will eventually leave by itself. however, by combining that AND the infernal staff AND the shadow clones (those dont apply to the golem, obviously; only the staff attacks), you can get an absolutely bonkers amount of damage off.

hopefully, you only have one tank. having more spaces open for dps will get you through the fight laster. if you only have one tank, you can get the second chiselled marble armor when it drops. if you have two, you can get the stone splint armor. either way, youre going to need those during or after the scorpeon round, otherwise (im relatively certain) the boarilla can literally one hit kill you. and things will go awry sometimes. its going to want to punch that frail old man. thats just how the forge goes.

this shouldnt have to be said, but once it drops from the first boarilla, youre going to want that tiara that ups your cooldown speed and your magic damage. now you can be even more deadly.

for obvious reasons, when it comes to the two boarilla round, youll be better against one boarilla than against the reinforcements that come up. just keep versatile. youll want to petrify the mooks while keeping dps up on the boarilla if possible, and its a stressful job, but its absolutely useful and possible and will keep a lot of heat off the team. now that youll have better armor, youll be much more survivable against the hordes, too, and have to worry just a little less.

(by the way; the magma golems ai isnt too bad. it wont attack petrified or sleeping enemies, making it automatically a better teammate than half of the randoms youll find)

if you have the marble armor, youll actually be able to take a couple punches from the boarilla. dont be afraid to try to draw aggro off of your healer or wilson (or if they were feeling particularly punchy, your wilson IS your healer). and as a dps, youll be the bottom priority for rezzing (which should be wilson>kite>tanks>dps). but not to worry. just do what you need to keep the group alive, even if you have to get smushed sometimes. dont forget, the golem can serve as a distraction, too, and can keep it locked into defensive mode.

the same general rules apply to the boarrior, when it shows up; you can tank a bit better than you think (but still not very well! youre a twig in a whole bunch of bubble wrap) if you need to get aggro off your healer. now, heres where things can get really juicy: does your healer have a hard time getting the big man into the life blossom circle so he can sleep? this is where you can swoop in. remember that tome of petrification you forgot about once all the mooks got cleared out?

yup.

you can set up a combo (as long as youre communicating! no matter what i say here communication is the number one key to winning) where you petrify the big boy (which will only last a few scant seconds, so work fast) and then your healer puts a circle right on him so he cant escape.

aside from that, tactics are widely the same. dont be scared to petrify pigs, etcetera, etcetera. keep your kite and your healer safe. you can do it!

good luck! message me or reply if you have tips i should add!

[lesbian-ed]

🌸Hi, a few years ago when I was 16 (19 now)I was forced out to my friends by this homophobic girl, and I came out as bi (still in the closet to my family), I'm no longer friends with any of them, but I can't figure out what label I should have, I really want to just know who I am. I said to them I was bi, but I've never felt right with that label. I read about comp het and it makes so much sense to me, but I still don't know. 1/5

🌸I feel, like, attracted to male celebs, but only when they’re in films or tv, and watching interviews of them ruins it?, and whenever I’m around guys I get these thoughts I can’t control about kissing them and sleeping with them and I feel rlly self conscious, I said this to a friend who said it’s a crush, but I get it with people I don’t like at all 2/?

🌸 And sometimes I have a phase where I feel like I could date a guy and marry him and have kids and be happy but it feels like I’m imagining a perfect version of me that actually im not like at all? And as well I can only imagine myself with a young guy, once I think about a 30 yr old or older I don’t want it anymore, but the perfect fantasy seems so appealing idk 3/?

🌸I feel different about girls but I don’t know I’m catholic and I feel like it’s always been other people are gay and that’s ok but not me? And I don’t know whether I feel no attraction to girls or I’m pushing it down bc when I see girls kiss on tv I literally have started crying and I saw a lesbian couple in public once and I got butterflies and also Ive found myself changing pronouns in songs in my head without realising but I’ve never had close to a crush on anyone especially not a girl 4/5

🌸Ive never even met a gay girl except for one pan girl at school but she was really weird and rude so I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like to like someone? writing this all down it makes it sound like I’m definitely a lesbian but that scares me so much bc ill never have a normal life and I can’t shake this feeling that actually I do want to be with a guy but I’m trying to be interesting or I’m faking this or something. Pls tell me your thoughts on this 5/5

Oh, anon. This literally all feels as if my younger self came into my ask box just now to ask for advice. 

I understand your pain, I really do, I went through so many of the same thought processes you’re describing now. It’s good that you’re aware of compulsory heterosexuality, since I believe that will make sorting your feelings easier. Still, I recommend you look through our tag (if you haven’t already) to read more thoughts on this. It’ll help. 

I obviously can’t tell you what your sexuality is for you, that’s your own journey to make, but this sounds so much like my own experience that I’m pretty sure what the answer is already.

Anon, let me tell you a story, I went to a catholic school and while my parents are pretty liberal and not that religious (in fact, my dad’s an atheist) I was also raised with the idea that ok, there were gay people out there, and I didn’t care what other people did with their lives! But honestly that was kind of weird and I couldn’t be like them, because they weren’t normal, like I should be. I was bullied a lot as a kid, because I was weird and ugly and way too shy and easy to pick on, so I grew up with this idea that whatever else happened, I had to stop being like that, I had to be beautiful and normal and acceptable. And that of course included a perfect fantasy of marrying the man of my dreams after he fell in love with men when I suddenly grew up to be the most beautiful woman there was, and having kids, and holding down a successful job that I was happy doing and having lots of money and well, just having the most perfect life. How could I not want that? Ever since I was old enough to walk, society fed me the idea that this was my ideal endgame, how could we ALL not dream about that at some point? 

I used to be obsessed with those stories where the “ugly” girl suddenly turns beautiful and the Nice Perfect Popular Boy finally notices her and they get together, those stories were my dream life. As a kid and young teen I’d fantasize about them constantly, I’d make up characters that would always end up fulfilling those same tropes. It was the way to prove to all those who ever called me ugly or belittled me because I was nerdy that “see? I got the happy ending” so when I was twelve, and suddenly all the girls were having crushes on boys I felt nothing for, while I started noticing seemingly out of the blue just how incredibly beautiful so many girls my age and older were, I got veeery scared. I couldn’t like girls like that, I wasn’t like that, I was already weird and had no friends, so how could I ever hope to find a girl who liked girls who’d like me? And if I did, everyone already hated me, so how would I bear it? The stares and the insults and the danger we’d face if people saw us together on the street? So I pushed that attraction down as far as I could, I convinced myself I was actually just too inmature to start thinking about crushes and all that stuff, and obviously when I was mature enough and the time came, I’d like boys, because that’s what Normal Girls did right? And I had to be normal.

In my school’s equivalent of US’ eighth grade, a new boy came to our class, he was pretty, and friendly, and most importantly, blonde! and he was the school sports star! It felt like every movie-like fantasy I ever had come to life. Every girl was in love with him, so one time I had a dream where we were dating. I woke up being absolutely ecstatic, that must have meant I had a crush right? I liked a boy? I was definitely straight?

I never actually began feeling nervous around this boy, or looking at him any more than usual until I had this dream and decided that meant I was in love. I told a friend eventually because I was excited about being in love and the fantasy I had created for myself about our perfect relationship (which did involve us kissing and having sex, and I never actually felt turned on about it but I did imagine it a lot because it meant we were In Love, so those fantasies happen even if you don’t actually like like the person in question, dw!), and isn’t that what you do when you like someone? Gossip about it with your friends? She told some of my bullies and the dude found out, so he started laughing at me in the middle of the class and calling me ugly and saying he was traumatized at the mere idea of me liking him. 

And I… felt nothing. I was angry of course, and sad, but it was just the same anger and sadness I felt when some random I didn’t like made fun of me, it wasn’t even like what I felt when former friends said nasty stuff about me. And I wanted to be heartbroken I wanted to wallow in the misery and the drama of it, but I just wasn’t, it was the same “well this shit sucks and I’m angry about it but it happens everyday so wyd?” There was no deeper feeling there, not even any special resentment, there was nothing. I never felt anything ever again when I looked at this boy.

Now, sometime later, the same boy starts dating a girl from our class, and it was around the same time that I was coming to terms with the fact that the latent attraction I had started to feel for women when I was younger had never actually gone away but rather had grown. Things were purely about sexual attraction for me at that point, not romantic feelings. I hadn’t actually been in love with a girl either by that point. Because even tho I was accepting my sexual attraction to women, I still had the idea in my mind that ideally I would end up with a boy, because when so much of my hopes for the future relied of me being beautiful and a man falling in love with me forever and ever so that I could have a normal future, letting go of that dream took a while. I called myself bisexual for a while, only to realize very little later that it didn’t actually fit me. When I did, it was hard, because I had to re-come out again to my mom and the two friends I had told, and that really scared me, because I felt like some fake, like what I felt was not actually real. I put it off, and my friends & mom were accepting but they also were like “you’re just confused about your sexuality!!/this is just a phase!!” so that fed into my insecurities. Even when I realized I was sexually into women only, I still hadn’t fallen in love with one, so that made things more confusing for me (I hadn’t fallen for any boy other than the one I mentioned earlier and one I met on a vacation that thought I liked for like a week because he had a pretty voice and was pretty androgynous lmao, but again, no heartbreak when he went away)

Eventually, (funnily enough through fandoms and f/f ships and fics that depicted them in loving relationships, And I cried when I read about girls kissing too, at first I thought it was because I was a Good Straight Ally, but I was just a lesbian lmao) I realized that I could also be happy in a relationship with a woman, that it was not only a possible future for me, but one that I wanted, one that felt right, one in which I wouldn’t be the beautiful, perfect, feminine, smart, succesful career woman I had dreamed of as a kid, but in which I’d be me, with all my quirks and faults, with another woman with her own quirks and faults who’d love me for who I am, because that was possible! It was possible to be happy like that!. When I realized this, that me liking girls romantically and sexually, and exclusively girls was okay, it felt like a veil was lifted from my eyes. Suddenly, all the feelings and attraction I had thought I had felt for boys paled in comparison to the intensity of what I felt for women, I learned what actual sexual desire was like, I yearned for a future with a real me in it with a real woman by my side, instead of the fake ideal I’d wanted to be when I was younger. It was around that time I fell in love for the first time.

Remember how I mentioned the boy I used to “like” got a girlfriend? Well, guess who I fell for? Me and her were assigned seats together one year in high school, and I got to know her through the first term, every time liking her more and more, until one day, she just walks into class, and I think she did something different with her hair? Whatever it was, seeing her felt like someone punching the breath out of me, it felt like watching literal perfection embodied. And I was gone, I was just so so sooo gone. I felt sparks when we sat next to each other, I couldn’t stop smiling like a fool whenever I looked at her, she’d say something nice to me and it felt like my soul was flying out of my body. And of course it was idealized, it was a crush on a girl I didn’t know that well, but the feelings I had, I had for her, for her actual personality, her actual sweetness, her actual kindness, even her actual rashness sometimes, not the fantasy I had made up of her that I projected onto her like I did when I “liked” her boyfriend. I liked her as a person. Plus the intensity of both crushes was just so fucking different. When I liked her, I cried when we were apart and at the thought of her with her dumbass idiot boyfriend, I listened to a love song and could relate to it for the first time. I understood finally why people would write poetry and songs and do all sorts of crazy things for this feeling. 

Tldr: I also fantasized about the ideal boy and I was never able to allow myself to feel anything for a girl because of how much I had repressed my sexuality due to fear of backlash until I was able to recognize that yes, liking women was OK and then all my repressed feelings came pouring out like a tsunami. 

If that sounds like something you can kind of relate to, then that’s your answer anon. However, it might not be, or maybe you don’t know if it is yet. That’s alright! Sexuality can be complicated and it can take a long time to figure it out. You’re not on a deadline here, you don’t have to stress about it.

As for the normal part, yeah being a lesbian in this society sucks a lot. And I still get terrified of the idea that I will not be “normal” and that I can never be happy. Even if I know deep in my heart that I can never be happy with a man, sometimes I wonder if it’d be worth it to spare me the pain. The answer? Hell no, I’ve got one life, one, what’s the point of wasting it on loveless unfulfilled relationships when I could try to go for someone I’ll actually be happy with? There’ll be pain, of course there will be, I live in a small town and I’ve only just started meeting other lesbians & bi girls offline this year because I’ve gone to university, and I’ve only ever actually started talking to and becoming actual friends with the ones I knew online this year too because I was so terrified before! All of them tell me about their hurt, and how lesbophobia affects them a lot, and yet I see them talking about how much they love their girlfriends/wives (I don’t have that because I’m an awkward potato but I’m trying) and also other lesbians, and it gives me hope, because I can be just like them, finding genuine happiness amidst the pain.

I hope this answer helps you. 

Mod M :D 

[survivorwakea]

Episode 6: “my whole entire game is built on lies” - Zack

ok so im pretty sure that if we win this challenge and if we don’t merge and my tribe wins the next immunity challenge then i will break the record for most tribal immunity wins and i think that’s pretty good and cool

also elmo?? cutest person on this earth. i now understand why he was so beloved on facebook, it’s bc he’s an angel. i love him and if he keeps being this sweet he will most definitely replace johnny as my number one in this game and that is not a joke.

________________________________________________________________

i rly am boo boo the fool huh.... tribal immunity record is for TRIBES, not people.... i NEED to be stopped before i embarrass myself any more than i already have

ok so the plan was to vote out thomas since we figured a merge was coming and like. we don’t need someone to win comps in the merge we need loyalty. and joey was just kinda the easier pick when it comes to that bc i don’t really know what thomas has going on with other people whereas joey got here and basically told us every observation he’s ever had in the game. us being me and jared. we have an alliance w jared bodhi and i and discussed expanding in the merge so it’s us, joey, anabel, johnny, and possibly elmo. yeah

anyways we didn’t merge so wig

So, last night’s tribal was kinda  frustrating. Adam was blindsided, and I was completely left in the dark by it. Justin popped into my DMs, and told me, “Thanks for voting me.” I told him we were even, since while he did get two votes, I was the one that was ultimately left in the dark on the vote. I didn’t even realize that Adam was the real plan. So in that, Zack and Chloe kinda lied to me there, but I appreciate that they apologized. I’m just worried that I’m gonna be the next to go now if we lose this challenge…

I really am so fucking heartbroken that Tommy went. Ok ya I went mental a couple days ago nd I was ready to vote him out but I think that was all a big misunderstanding. I do actually really like the guy and after the whole thing with Adam he was kinda my rock and I really really wanted to meet up with him again in the game, we were gonna be the power duo of the season and everyone was supposed to be mad about it. And now I sit here fucking upset because I lost him and now idk what to do. When merge hits tf am I supposed to do without him? Why did I have to be put on a shitting tribe with Adam and not Tommy? Fuck every single person that voted him out. My next fucking targets.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week5/s-Tr6tW

okay so i told my tribe about my legacy advantage (except lily) and i think that im going to be FINE with it all and im not super worried about the people on my tribe, but I know im 100% playing my legacy advantage at the final twelve, which is going to be next round, but yea....... idk im definitely going to tell jared once we end up merging, and slowly but surely tell other people, but yea, we'll see..... i also know i cant vote next round so eep

im also on call with jared rn talking about personal nonsense and we're screensharing while i play poker and hes distracting me from making this confessional any longer, so yea BYE BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pray for me at the merge

So, we lost the challenge. I’m definitely nervous, but I assume the plan is that Zack, Chloe, and I vote Justin. Zack promised to me that he would not vote for me. I’m pretty sure Chloe is good with the plan as well. They haven’t been online for a while, but hopefully, they don’t screw me twice in three nights.

i feel like all i do in this game is lie. like my whole entire game is build on lies. KDKDKDK. as soon as we lost the challenge i promised ian that i wouldn’t be voting for him. that was a lie... and for what? what’s the point of lying? idk! i lies to justin about not having the idol and pinned it on johnny having it.. straight up lied to adam and ian last round and was in a whole ass fake alliance with them.. and the list just goes on. anyway. hopefully me chloe and justin can stick together and just vote ian out of here. BUT they have been very quiet so it is a little shady... i gotta feel the situation out a little more in order to feel totally comfortable enough to not use my idol. but i have hope. anyway let’s hope this just goes smoothly and i don’t get caught up in my lies anytime soon.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week6/s-gP0Z2

u know this round has been a lot.... but at lesat we won and then johnny's bitch ass says that he has been LYING ABOUT NOT HAVING NAYTHING!? WELL ITS OKAY BUT AT LEAST HE REVEALED IT *NOW*!

now i have justification for not telling him about my idol xoxo

im in progress of getting closer w everyone on my tribe bc i rly want this tribe to work together come merge, i think lily could be in big trouble but it doesnt serve my game to boot her immediately, there are bigger threats for me so im gonna try to protect her to my best ability! i think that this vote is gna get ian out and thats sad be he was an option for me at the merge but it is what it is.

im just excited to merge already and (hopefully) make the jury in CELESTIAL! (even tho jury wont prob start yet if we merge at f12... hm)

Trust List:

1. Joey 2. Bodhi 3. Asya 4. Anabel 5. Elmo 6. Lily 7. Ian

So...Justin just messaged me and outright said he is voting for me because I voted for him last tribal. Someone’s a little salty about Wednesday night, and I don’t know if it’s more him or me. Anyway, I guess I know who I’m voting for, then.

I'm just SICK of going to tribal, absolutely sick of it. I feel like I'm constantly clawing to stay in this game, as much as I'm proud of myself for making it this far in the game I would like one night where I can properly relax and just have a good time without having to vote out one of these people that I've created a bond with. Just once I don't want to be thinking whether I'm possibly ruining a friendship. It hurts me so much.

Just having a ball u know how it goes. Also Jonny admitted he had the legacy advantage

i told the tribe about my legacy advantage and now im mcfucked.com thanks

________________________________________________________________

Ian is voted out 3-1,