#but im torn between wanting black or pink

[voxxian]

i am desperately fighting the urge to make my blog space-themed........ for voltron........................................................

[fangisms]

did you hear?

A/N: i just think he’s so lover.

gif creds: @qveenofthorns

Pairings: Neville Longbottom x Popular!Fem!Reader

Summary: Neville Longbottom accidentally starts a raunchy rumor about the popular girl in his potions class. And rumors fly. 1.0k words.

Warnings: ‘snogging’ help im not british and it shows, rumors, allusions to sex/promiscuous acts, teasing, pining, strangers/friends to lovers

Somehow Neville started a rumor about you. And somehow, through the unbelievably slippery walls of Hogwarts, the rumor made its way to you in less than a week.

It was an accident, honestly. And people kept blowing it way out of proportion. You were popular, more popular than he could ever hope to be, and when he said it, he had already accepted that nothing would ever really happen between the two of you. But this awful rumor made him sound boorish and borderline rabid when really it was supposed to be a harmless confession between friends.

"I heard Neville Longbottom wants to shag you out by the Quidditch pitch."

Even from a few tables down, he could see the mortification fall over your face like a black veil. Your friend giggled as she pulled away from whispering in your ear, and you clapped a hand over your mouth. He had to look away when your eyes flicked to meet his. Your friends spend the rest of lunch hour teasing you and snickering about him while you seem to shrink in on yourself.

Neville manages to avoid you where he can in the halls: taking the longer route, hiding in large groups. But none of it is very fruitful when you've got a very similar class schedule. In fact, despite his efforts, he spends nearly every passing period just behind you and sometimes even right beside you. Apparently, he's also got a clear shot of you from where he sits in the classes you share and you're even table mates in potions. Of course, he knew all of this before that nasty rumor was spread, he's just become hyperaware of it since then.

After making it through the week without too much tension, he finds himself scanning the pages of his Water Plants textbook in the Great Hall and not retaining any of the information. And as he props his chin in his hand, he notices you settle into the seat directly across from him, flashing him a quick smile before opening your own book.

He sits up, glancing around the room to find Snape preoccupied with a group of raucous students from Slytherin.

A small, crumpled piece of parchment rolls its way to your side of the table, stopping just before it topples over the edge. You set your book in your lap and look over your shoulder before unraveling the torn paper.

"I'm assuming you've heard the news by now."

A smile creeps onto your face as you flatten out the slip of paper and write your own message on the backside. You slide it across the table and just barely catch his eye.

"Here and there."

But he knows you mean just about every five seconds because this cursed rumor has been inescapable for as long as its existed. You slide the cover of the Hogwarts Gazette over as well. It's entitled, "Things Heat Up Between Popular Witch and Nerdy Wizard" just above a picture of the two of you smiling at each other in class with a few smaller headlines like, "The Rumors are True!" and "What's Next for the Unlikely Couple?"

He blinks. Who's reading this rubbish? Scratch that, who's writing this rubbish and how hard would it be to mame them?

"I'm sorry about that, it was supposed to be an inside joke. Honestly, I would never say something that awful in the first place. And especially not about you."

You give him a sympathetic smile and crumple the page and his note into a ball before sending back a new slip.

"I know."

He half-smiles before attempting to read again. But you toss him another scrap of paper.

"So what did you say then?"

You giggle when he flushes a bright pink before squinting at you and scribbling across the page.

"Something or other about wanting to snog a certain pretty girl. It was never meant to go past first base, honestly. Pure intentions!"

You shove the used paper in your pocket and glance over your shoulder with a mischievous look before delicately folding another piece and setting it in the center of his textbook. He opens it. But he doesn't get the chance to read it before it's snatched out of his grasp by a pale hand.

"Mr Longbottom," Snape drawls, "would you care to read this aloud since you two have insisted on interrupting your fellow students' focus?"

You hide your giggles behind your hand and Neville glares at you while Snape ushers him into the aisle.

He looks down the note and groans.

"How about those Quidditch Pitch seats?"

...

"Very funny," Neville grumbles while you hold his shoulder to steady yourself from convulsing with laughter.

"Your face! You should have seen your face!" You tease, tears nearly streaming down your face when you clutch the sleeve of his sweater.

"You set me up," he says, trying not to smile when you purse your lips.

"You started a rumor about me!"

"On accident."

You cross your arms over your chest and tilt your head to the side. "Then yes. I set you up. On accident. Walk me to Trelawney's?"

He rolls his eyes and offers his arm for you to loop yours through. You walk beside each other in silence nearly half the way, dodging confused looks and bothersome jeers from your friends.

"So," you mumble, looking at him with a cocked brow, "you really think I'm pretty?"

Neville shrugs. "And snoggable, I suppose."

He looks down at you and thinks he's never acted so cool around someone he likes so much. He thinks you're more than pretty and he wants to be able to tell you, but as you round the corner, the open classroom leers at you like a slippery snake. He spares you one last look and you peer up at him like a little dove. He goes pink.

You stop in the doorway and beckon him closer. And you think the nearly contemptuous smile on his face is new and ill-fitting but he's handsome nonetheless. You hold his chin and press a sweet kiss to his cheek before ducking into the classroom.

"See you in potions, Neville."

masterlist

[kydrogendragon]

Last Line Tag Game

Tagged by @the-apocrypha ❤️

I think some people already saw this in the Sadman server but I'm doing some more work with it so have a treat!

"Fuck," Hob hisses as he watches blood pool from the cut on his palm. "Well, so much for showing off those knife skills of mine." He sets down the half-sliced apple onto the ground beside him, lifting his hand to his lips when he sees a set of dark eyes on him. Hob turns towards the tank, watching as the creature's eyes follow the trail of crimson down his skin.

He lifts his hand, holding it closer towards the wall of glass, moving his palm to either side, smiling as the creature's mouth parts open, tongue flicking out into the water.

"Is this what you want?" he asks, rising to his feet. The creature moves with him, his large tail fails fanning out behind him like ropes in the water. "Is that why you haven't been eating? You need it fresh? Need the blood?"

Dark eyes flick up to Hob's own, holding his gaze. His breath hitches in his throat as pinpricks of white appear in the creature's eyes. Hob finds himself leaning forward, close to the glass to see. Never before has he seen that. The creature's eyes have always been black voids, but the longer he stares, the more he sees. It's like the night sky on the outskirts of a city—seemingly empty—but slowly fills with more distant stars the longer you look.

He tilts his hand out, offering, wanting to feed the creature that looks half-starved and growing thinner. When did he get above the creature? When did he lift the lid of the tank? Confusion sets in. Hob blinks, ready to step back when a clammy, wet webbed hand curls around his wrist.

He's pulled into the water before he can even think.

It's dark as inky black fins surround him, all Hob can see in the cold salt water is black scales, pale skin, and dark eyes pinning him in place. The hand wrapped around his pulls the wound to the creature's mouth. A pink tongue darts forward and laps at the cut. It stings, but no less than the salt water on it. Hob supposes he should be panicking, worrying about being eated by this thing or, at least, drowning here in this tank of water.

He watches the creature press his lips against his skin. He can feel the pressure as he sucks at the wound, drawing as much blood forward as he can. And then there's a stabbing pain as teeth sink into his skin.

Hob gasps, releasing a burst of air from his lips into the water as the creature gnaws at the flesh of his palm. A chunk is torn off. Hob watches part of him float briefly in the water between his hand and the creature's mouth before it's swallowed down. Panic sinks back in as his lungs strain for air and the water around them turns red with blood. He trashes his legs, fighting against the creature's hold. Dark eyes find his again. They stare at him for a moment before he's released.

Hob kicks away, up to the surface, and gasps as his head breaches the opening of the tank. His hand throbs. He can feel his pulse bleeding out into the water. He only takes a moment before he’s clambering out of the tank, desprate to get out, to get away. Hob practically falls down the steps that lead up to the tank’s entrance and collapses onto the linolium floors, body dripping both blood and water. His lungs take deep, gasping breathes in, his chest heaving as he stares up at the creature. His large fins no longer hide his form but fan out from him as he stares him down, head tilted like a curious dog.

No pressure tags: @samsalami66 @im-not-corrupted and @valiantstarlights

[dizzybevvie]

Hello B!

Do you have any opinions on the character designs within the aphverse?

Example: too many characters have blue eyes, there aren't enough (x) traits, etc etc

OK I WILL GET TO THAT BUT OMG NO ONES EVER CALLED ME B BEFORE ... I LOVE IT

[Keeping this to MYS because thats what I know.]

I mean, I DO think too many characters have blue eyes. Between Dante, Laurance, Garroth, Katelyn, Zane - thats already the majority of the friend group.

I dont mind the blue hair/blue eyes combo, but Dante AND katelyn having it is a bit much 🤷‍♂️ AND they couldve kept Laurances original colour pallet :( I totally get changing the design bc of the skins, but in MYS theres no lore reason for Laur having blue eyes so at least they shouldve been green right??? Im also devastated hes not ginger but alas <\3

I think overtime the girls in the show have less variety, particularly in the hair. No different lengths or anything. I mean, just take Cadenza! She has longass hair in s1 but it eventually gets cut the same length as Kate, KC and Aph. The girl with THE most variety in character design - and probably one of the best designs imo - is Kim, and i literally couldnt tell you a single one of her character traits other than 'possessed'. Her highlights are different and I like her colour pallet.

The guys all look... kinda similar too. But they did well differing them in little ways, like hair partings and such. I do want Laurance's long hair back tho. Jess dont be a coward give us ling hair ginger laurance

I think its very funny that Laurance has ABSOLUTELY NO fashion sense, but i would like clothes to be more consistent! I like Dante's outfit with the button up/button up/shirt combo, even if it was ridiculous it felt in character - although its a shame that after Aarmau was made canon no other character could wear purple or red, because dante looked good in red!! I love Garroth's hawaiian shirt getup and they should bring that vibe back for him for sure.

I dont think there are enough brown eyes im gonna be real brown eyes are beautiful and like. way too many inbred eyes /lh

this isnt so much an issue with character designs because. minecraft. but there arent many different body types. Like, I think Aphmau and Zane are fat, and then Travis has broad shoulders (according to 1 line of dialogue in s1, and hes still buff). and everyone else is just somewhere on the sims4 slider of skinny and strong.

WHERE ARE MY SHORT KINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT EVERY GUY CAN BE 6"02U392U3837 JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE THAT JESS. THERES NO WAY TRAVIS IS TALLER THAN KATELYN THERES NO WAY

It wouldve been neat seeing disabilities other than zane's blindness purely because of limited differentiation in design. Like, going forward into s7 I would love to see Travis keep the wheelchair bc im pretty sure he cant. recover from that. unless they pull some aphmau magic bs

All in all im torn abt Luci because I think its cute for her to be the odd one out (as i said in my If-I-Was-Tasked-With-Rewriting-Mystreet post), but thats clearly not the intention and you kinda forget shes a witch at all. Which would be cool if it was brought up? idk. Her black dress + bow was her best outfit i think. The red eyes and the bright ginger hair is a lot on the eyes and the black is a good combo for that.

TBH, the only Aph outfit I liked was the one from Season 3, but her current skin (non-mystreet) is actually very cute. I like it a lot

People have said this a lot, but one BIG issue i have with the mys designs is the colour pallets. Im a big fan of shows where one character is heavily associated with one colour, and though this doesnt HAVE to be the case for Mystreet, Id like then to be consistent. Kate's colour has always been blue, Travis' colour has always been green, Aph/Aaron Purple/red, Kc pink, zane black/grey, and Garroth is usually blue. but Dante, Laurance, Lucinda, Melissa, etc have had some super inconsistent ones.

One character design that I like across the series is actually KC. Once they know how to pair the pinks and black/white well, they do pretty well with it! Its just a lot of pink and easy to get wrong. but they do well

Travis' also isnt that bad, the outfit of his i really remember was fhe green hoodie and black trousers which felt correct.

To go back to the eye colours, Its fun to see Jess' thought process bc like. almost ALL of her love interests have blue eyes except aaron? idk. food for thought.

In conclusion,

[queernoctis]

i did it.... im free of rebirth spoiler hell... a collection of unfiltered thoughts below [spoilers obv]

first off here's my stupid long liveblog thread on twitter. lots of screenshots of sephiroth there.

-glennseph on main BUT GOD I FEEL SUCH A WAY ABOUT SEPH USING GLENN TO FUCK WITH RUFUS.... BUT DUMB LITTLE RARE PAIR GETTING SOME FOOD

-Every cloud ship ate in this game oh my god. i think clerith prob got hte Most but sefikura, zakkura, cloti, fucking roche/cloud even love and peace on planet earth

-ZACK ZACK ZACK ZACKARY FAIR THE MAN THAT YOU ARE his little depression shack in midgar, feeling torn between helping biggs and helping cloud BEING WILLING TO GO TO HOJO TO HELP CLOUD ugh. and seeing biggs shot right in front of him in one world too. my man is truly experiencing the horrors. love to see that if he lives he'll be a dilf tho.

-ough the northern crater and cloud handing over the black materia is going to be so fucked and so tasty in r3 i just know it. he's already acting so fucky. i cant wait to see him beg hojo for a number.

-sephiroth clone roche.... oh my boy what did you do....

-gongaga was everything i wanted and more. cissnei. the cc music. just. ough.

-speaking of cc tho.... where is he..... my beloved fruit....mr drama king himself..... god the whole Loveless play was just teasing me the entire time. especially summonign fuckig Phoenix at the end. if genesis isnt in R3 im going to sue. idk who but someone.

-cloud actually remembering zack and then "remembering" a death for him.... ough that shit hurted

-jut. fuck. the Everything from the temple of the ancients to the end. it was all so much but it was all so good.

-i feel like overall it was easier than remake?? but that might be because i beat remake on hard not too long ago. now i have to debate if i want to beat This game on hard. [pls tell me not too]. the final boss still took me like five tries tho.

-Elena's pink girly pop gun. that is all.

[shin-to-buri]

9 People You Want to Get to Know Better

holly @cactusramune tagged me, entirely out of the blue. startling

Favorite Color: honestly i plain dont have one. i gravitate to pink and purple but the one thing that always gets me is black+white palettes

Currently Reading: no

Last Series: partial rewatch of digimon ghost game, which i fully forgot about

Sweet, Savory or Spicy? torn between sweet and savory, but i fully cannot make it through a day without having something sweet

Currently Working On: drawing in general, hopefully getting into classes so i can study for college entrance exams. heres an unfinished chrome

I tag: theres barely anyone on tumblr that wasnt also tagged by holly and is still active so im tagging my mom :) @dgcakes

[pinkandgreenarepurpleandyellow]

Re-made my pants-leg project

so long story short, it turns out that Im a genius who had forgotten that acrylic paint doesn't actually survive laundry washes, so my very best spring break attempts were tragically ruined and I was very very sad. Fortunately, I got a kick in the pants to do the redesigns that I had wanted to do for some time, so I'm taking this as a net win.

(1st pic - og design. 2nd pic - og design post-laundry incident. 3rd pic - new design.) (Notes on the ruined version: I'm torn between grief and hysterical laughter every time I look at J-Dog's mask. It's just little eyes and vague pink. He stare.)

Some close-ups and details I'm obnoxiously proud of:

I actually did the LA thing! (I could not put the little HU into the barrel because I don't have any brushes that tiny) I was a tad short on black paint and couldn't keep re-mixing the charcoal grey, so the little grey outline around the LA symbol is missing. The buildings turned out pretty ok though.

I liked the og version, so I tried to change minimal stuff here. I did however have a breakdown trying to mix the right shade of grey. You do not know true hatred until you're mixing the grey and it's just too light or too dark to blend correctly.

Patch notes: It looks a little lopsided in the picture, but the mask is actually round, the jeans just bend there cause J3T's mask is right on the knee and creasing does not help things look perfectly straight. The Butterly has more detailing (and is a tad more accurate re both where the swirls and spirals go and the newly added skull). If you look closely, the skull has tiny teeth and outlines for eye sockets and the holes at the nose area.

I spent 3 whole days on J-dog's mask once again. If y'all can't tell, I took my failures very personally, and spent far too much time trying (and even semi-succeeding) to replicate the dollar bill designs on the mask and get the fire right. Note the detailing of/around the pyramid and the tiny eye-like blob in the top triangle. I unfortunately could not write 'Hollywood Undead' under it in the green circle (again, no brushes that small), but it's a lot more detailing than last time.

This one required the most reworking tbh because of how much paint had cracked and smudged off. It probably says something about me that I'm firmly convinced I went wrong somewhere on the spacing of the eyes but can't actually tell you what. On the plus side, a lot more detailing of rust and damage sprinkled around the cross and over the bridge of the nose. The eyes have been repainted again to still have the little mesh outline in them.

Anyways I think I just enjoy suffering. I slept 5 hours and should probably be packing.

[love-and-be-loved]

So like idk how many people are here ready to answer a random stranger (there are literally only three people that I talk to often and that are my mutuals — all from irl and i dont even remember one of the urls) but i am on the verge of tears i want to do something to my room so that i feel this spiraling less and what are the cheapest options for someone who can only spend like 300-500 rub total (€3-5 or how much idk dont remember anymore) in the next couple of weeks or so on non-vital things and also cant paint the furniture

I have like palm sized blocks of pink and green polymer clay, half this size in beige, cute-ish string lights somewhere, and candles that bring literally no joy. Also shoeboxes ive been thinking about turning into storage but like i have no idea how to overall turn black-tan wooden (yay eco-consciousness) furniture into white-cyan-purple-magenta plastic dream type of thing and i feel like literally throwing up from how little control over my own life i have

Also i hate all these 'cores' but im torn between mermaidcore and cybercore if i may describe my wishes

[lavenderw-lemonade]

"Go to New Orleans , they said. It'll be fun, they said!" Ari started melodic and deep voice booming with startled laughter. The drunken politician taking the rental home invasion fairly well possibly. Mostly due to the percentage of Hennessy that was making its rounds about his circulatory system as he and the vampire stood conversing in his sitting room. Liquid courage aside the lawmaker was also feeling a little frustrated that evening. Torn between keeping up his morals and appearances while also craving to feed his less virtuous appetites. Having went through the stages of desperation and need all in his head. All in those few short hours that evening. Lestat must've been privy to his inner monolog for a while now.

As the modelesque man brushed his hair before dawning a black linen suit, heading out to sample a new restaurant for dinner. As he was hungry. Once at the jazzy cafe diner two blocks up from his rental on the French Quarter , Ari sat alone at a table for two dined on simple roasted potatoes and a rosemary grilled steak - extra rare- with 6 shots of henny , and a full bottle of red wine. Buzzed, he stayed chatted with his wait staff, other patrons, a few musicians feeling as if he could have a chance with the drummer. A tall red head with hazel eyes , he was great at keeping beat. Ari wanted him. He was horny. And very, very drunk. But alas, he was wandering home alone, just needing to go home and take care of his current need himself. It was the safest least scandal prone way. And the brunette nearly cheered for himself once he made it. Key in door hands nearly in his pants. To only be strained with need and confronted by lustful beauty.

The phenomenon known as "Asian glow" swept over his face and neck leaving him a warm shade of pink , most concentrated across his cheeks , on the points of his ears and down the entirety of his exposed chest. " I-i was smoking my vape and watching the afternoon rains wash out the quarter- i didn't mean to invite in guest-" He further explained "If you aren't robbing me , what are you doing?- it's not my place i don't know if anything here even is valuable or the elderly couple im renting from- lord don't murder me here , they couldn't manage to clean up the mess." Inebriation made Ari a truth filled comedian and oddly astute. "You aren't going to murder me, right? - ... fuck, are you even real you look how you look - have eyes like that- and i was only on my way to bed to well- ... you're not a like sex demon or like the past owner of this place - i've never fucked a ghost - does that happen a lot in NOLA... are you from here?" The once composed man spiraled. Beginning to worry. "Why are you here and w-who are you?" too far gone to notice the infamous rockstar standing before him. Anymore intense thought and racking tension, and Ari would soon be on the floor faint. Or worse, he would crumple over emptying the contents of his stomach on the handsome blonde's shoes.

OPEN STARTER| Lestat &

Lestat watched until the other was over the surprise of the blonde seated, nonchalant and unperturbed on their couch in the dark room, the one lamp turned on reflecting against his preternatural blue eyes, “Are you done?” His tone bored, as if he had waited on a child to finish a tantrum, “I didn’t break in, I am no thief in the night,” he pushed himself off the couch, “a balcony with an open window is not secure, really mon chere be more vigilant,” he sighed, he had heard them in the sea of voices, his head had tilted and paused his train of thought and venture to where he had been headed, a small cafe to sit and hunt, then followed them here, beating them enough to slip in through the open balcony and wait for them to unlock the door and come in. “It is nice, this place, not my taste, but we both know I am…what are these mortals calling it? Boo-gee?” slang entertained him, he liked peppering his speech with it, laughing at the origins of some until he couldn’t stand it, then throwing the ones out he didn’t like.

[thatonetransguyincanada]

Character Writing Snippet:

Strawberry Kisses

Characters:

Blaine: A Rogueish young man whos lived on the streets his whole life and doesnt trust easily because of it. Except for Silas. He trusts his boyfriend wholeheartedly.

Silas: A sunshine boy whos favourite thing to do when not training is spending time with Blaine, his boyfriend.

(Warning: Spelling mistakes)

It feels like a dream.

The black and dark blues of night slowly edging away as the sun rises to bathe its warm glow over the land, painting streaks of pinks and oranges and yellows across the few clouds in the sky.

A chilling breeze tussles the grass on the ground, along with the leaves of the tree behind us.

Though the cherry on top of it all, is being able to be this close to him without worry of someone seeing us. Having his fingers play with my hair while soaking in his radiating body heat is just… there’s no other feeling out there that’d I want more. Well… maybe theres one.

“Ive… been thinking-“

“Uh oh.” Silas’ fingers still, “Should I go get someone? Do you feel okay? How many fingers am I holding up?”

Four fingers appear in my view, Silas’ face dressed in fake worry right beside them. I smack his hand away and scowl. “You asshole!”

A big toothy grin pulls Silas’ lips apart, a bark of laugher following after I push his face away. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.” I sit myself up right, his hand sliding off my scalp.

“Awe come on!“ Silas pleads while trying, and failing, to fight back that grin, “Im sorry. What were you thinking?”

“Nope. You lost your chance.” I try to scoot further from him, keeping my head turned so he wont see me struggling to keep my own smile at bay.

“Love Im sooorry! Please! I promise I’ll listen.” Silas tries again. “What if I gave you kiss? Would that be enough of an apology?”

Every cell in my body wants to crawl back onto his lap and try to taste how sorry his lips really are. But I dont. “No. You have to learn that your-“

I don’t get to finish my scolding when two python thick arms snake around my waist and pulls me back. A knee digs into my lower back, forcing me to arch my body so the position is semi confortable. I try to get out a “hey!” but my lips are captured in another pair, soft and warm.

Eyes flutter shut, a hand slides behind Silas’ head and tangles within his long hair. The taste of fresh strawberries is a pleasant surprise.

Silas smirks into the kiss, unfortunately breaking it. I try not to pout as my hand lulls free from the golden ocean and we pull away. “See? I’m really sorry.”

A small breathy laugh escapes me. “And apparently sorry tastes like strawberries. I wonder, do all your emotions have a different fruity taste to them?”

“Guess you’ll just have to do some tastes tests to find out.” Silas’ gives me a lazy smile with half lid eyes and I drown in his effortless intoxication.

This man is going to be the death of me. And I think im okay with that thought.

The smirk on Silas’ lips softens to a gentle smile to match his eyes, his hold on me loosening but not letting go. “What was on your mind Love? Im all ears this time, I promise.”

“Oh it’s…“ Heat rushes to my cheeks all of the sudden as my train of thought from earlier comes back. I shake my head and look off to the side at the sparkling dew drop grass. “It’s nothing. Just a silly dream.”

In my peripheral I spy a small frown where his smile used to be. “Dont say that. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”

My heart swells when I meet his gaze, and more blood runs up my neck to my cheeks and the tips of my ears. “Well, when you put it like that.” I readjust my body to be more comfortable on his lap and not have his knee digging into my spine any longer, pulling my gaze back to the rising sun. “I was thinking… I was thinking about what our lives would be like in the future. What our lives could look like because… I think I’d like to spend the rest of my life, with you.”

Only the morning calls of early birds and the occasional rustle of leaves catch my ears. Im torn between watching the sun and waiting for a response or to look at Silas and see for myself whatever expression he’s making.

“Are you…” Silas starts slow, his tone careful not to fluctuate, “Proposing to me?”

My eyes go wide, head snapping to Silas to see his own owl like expression. “No no no! This is not- I wouldnt- I mean not like this- not that I would out of the blue! I just-“

I want to board up my mouth so it’ll stop spewing the word waterfall that just wont stop. I want to find a hole so deep that I find diamonds waiting at the bottom while I die of embarrassment. Instead, I run a hand over my face and let out a groan.

A small nervous chuckle bounces Silas’ legs. “Phew! Okay just- just want to check cause thats what it was kinda sounding like. Not that theres anything wrong with that! We’ve just never… uh, the subjects never come up before.”

“I know. I just- I dont know.” My hand slides off my face, “You know how my lives been. Between stealing to survive and making sure I dont get stabbed in some back alley I never… I never thought love was in the cards for me.”

I sigh, cocking my head a little to look at Silas better. “Then when you walked into my life, you turned everything I thought I knew upside down. And I dont know how I’ll ever thank you.”

Silas’ perfectly kept brows pull together a little, a tenderness in his eyes that just says, ‘Awe Love,’ in them. “Blaine, you dont-“

“Yes, I do. I thought I was going to be alone forever and I thought I was okay with that.” Prickling begins around my eyes as my hand reaches up to cup my loves face. “You have no idea just how great of an impact you’ve made on my life and you probably never will. But I know. And I love you so much because of it.”

The tenderness stays in Silas’ beautiful eyes, a smile growing to match it as one of his hands rests on top of mine. He lets out a small breath, “You know, I could say the same about you.”

“Sure you could.” I offer him a smile.

“Hey. Im being serious. Before you found me that night-“

“Oh I found you did I?” I cant hide the smirk at hearing him FINALLY admit to the truth we’ve been debating for years!

“Yes okay you found me! Now shush! It’s my turn to speak.” Silas rolls his eyes with a bright smile that only seems to grow in shine within the morning sunlight. “Now, as I was sayyying. Before you found me, my life was stressful and… and lonely. Ive had all kinda of people walk into my life trying to get close to me for one reason or another, and ive probably had just as many walk out on me. Sometimes without even a word.”

My heart breaks seeing just the echoes of pain flood Silas’ features. He’ll never admit to himself how deep his hurt truly runs. He’s always let people in instead of keeping them at a distance like I have. And when those people finally showed their true colours in whatever way that was, Silas beats himself up over not realizing sooner, or even convince himself that somehow he was the one at fault.

“All except you. You’ve stayed with me through thick and think, even when I probably didnt deserve it.” His smile turns bitter, so I lightly run my thumb over his cheek. “You didnt see me as the son of some rich merchants or the star pupil of the academy. You just saw… me.”

“To be fair, I saw a lone guard in dire need of someone to mess with them.” We both start laughing, his light and rich and music to my ears.

When we catch our breath, Silas has his grin again. Some smaller pieces of hair slide over his shoulders to frame his face. His head is tilted at just the right angle to catch the sun light, giving him an ethereal golden glow.

“I love you Blaine. I love you so much.” Silas starts to lean down.

“I love you more than words can every explain.” I lift my head to meet Silas’ as we share another kiss in the early morning sun.

[miscellaneous--bones]

Y'know, until i cut my hair, this quarentine was like any other fuckin summer (y'know before i was thinkin abt all the time ill get to chill and reek havoc with my new trailor park friends) but now.. I've got short hair again, ive got bangs now, im wanting a new wardrobe... Fuck.

[itsleese]

e— electricity | sero hanta & kaminari denki

warnings: 18+! erotic electro stimulation, voyerism, cunnilingus, overstim,

a/n: im unwell x ALSO dedicated to @kyberhearts who gave me this awesome idea!!

ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ

You’d all decided— as a house— to be open and honest and free about everything. After walking in on Kirishima and Mina in the bathroom, and coming home early to Denki blowing Bakugo on the sofa, and being walked in on Sero teaching you how to give a blowjob yourself… there was a conversation to be had.

So, the consensus was: no dating, no kinkshaming, no secrets. Effectively, a free for all.

Which is honestly perfect for a share house full of college students, yeah? You all get to try new things with people you know you’re safe with, and there’s none of that monogamy that gets a lot of young people in trouble.

Still… anxiety grips at you as you look between Sero and Denki. Denki’s got two iPhone chargers in his mouth, and Sero’s scrolling through his phone talking about physics and wattage and volts—

“E-explain this to me one more time,” you interrupt, immediately met with wide honey eyes, lazy liquorice.

“Denks got his tongue pierced a couple weeks ago for a science experiment.” Sero smiles slowly as you tug on the hem of your oversized t-shirt, pushing it into the plush mattress between your crossed legs, knowing you’re wearing nothing underneath.

“Ath a conductithe—“

“As a conductive.” Sero’s eyes fall on Denki, “Keep your mouth closed, we want you fully charged.” Then he turns back to you, grin turning toothy, “For your pretty little pussy,”

You groan, torn between embarrassed and horny, “Sero—“

“Just wanna see if it adds to the pleasure, or if it’s… y’know? Too much.” He shrugs, tossing his phone to the bed and digging in his pocket for something.

You roll your eyes and turn your attention to Denki, who’s starting to look a little bit… twitchy. As if he feels your stare, his eyes meet yours, his whole face lighting up, rosey pink blush dusting his face.

He’s always fun to mess around with; silences the little ‘why me?’ sitting at the tip of your tongue.

“Okay!” Denki announces, spitting the cords from his mouth. You can almost see the electricity dancing behind the whites of his eyes when he pounces on you, pushing you by the shoulders into the pillows at the head of the bed.

“Hey!” Sero grabs Denki by the scruff of his shirt when he angles down to kiss your lips, pulling him away from you. “Don’t waste it, you dipshit; ‘t’s for her pussy.” He scolds, rolled cigarette hanging between his lips.

And fuck, if your cunt doesn’t clench and dribble at the look Denki gets on his face when he’s reminded.

“Sorry babes,” the blonde licks his lips, the little copper ball on his tongue catching the lamplight. “Can’t really warm you up this time.” He shrugs, sliding down your form, sinking between your thighs as he plies them apart smoothly.

“It’s fi— Ahh!” You squeak, thighs trying to close around his head as he thrusts his tongue straight into your cunt. He groans— loud and long— as he grinds his hips into the mattress, black fingernails digging into your fleshy thighs; then he’s meeting your eyes, his honey orbs almost sparkling before you feel it: a gentle rolling current against your g-spot.

“D-Denk—“ you gasp, eyes going wide, hips bucking against his face.

“More.” Sero orders lowly, his voice a pant. When you glance at him, he’s got his cock in his fist, hooded eyes watching you intently.

Then Denki obliges. It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before, so precise and good and—

“Shhhhhit…” you whine, falling back against the pillows, the stimulation strange and hot and a little— “itchy!” You gasp, fingers digging into his hair, against his scalp, tears in your eyes.

Denki pulls away, licks his lips again, then his fingers are inside you, strong and fast and purposeful. “Gonna make you cum now, ‘kay?” He grins, then his mouth is closing around your clit, and he’s pressing that little ball to it— right under the hood— and letting the charge go.

It’s entirely too much; the shock— mixed with his skilful fingers— has you chanting his name desperately, “Denkidenkidenkidenkidenkiiiiiiiii—“ as he ups the amps, the feeling surging stronger and stronger as his fingers continue to assault your g-spot.

You can vaguely hear Sero muttering at the end of the bed, those dark eyes glued to your face, watching your brows raise higher, tears gathering at your lash line. “Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon,” he pants, the wet friction of his hand on his lubed-up cock adding to your overstimulation.

“Oh fuck, Denks—” you finally cry, bowing off the bed, pulling his hair impossibly closer to your cunt as you cum, grinding your messy pussy against his face.

“Fuck yeah,” Sero huffs, softening cock in one hand, thick, shiny cum cupped in the other.

Denki pulls away from you, gasping, when you go limp and release his hair, “I just—“ he heaves a breath, “came in my pants.” He sounds surprised as he pulls the strap to his underwear away from his hips and looks inside. You lay there, mind fuzzy, ears ringing, as Denki laughs almost hysterically and wipes your squirt from his face. “I just came in my pants,”

“Yeah, no shit,” Sero adds with a huff of laughter. “New kink unlocked?”

“Dude, that was intense,” the blonde collapses on top of you, his head at your sternum. “Was it good?” The question’s directed at you, his pretty eyes closing as his arms circle your waist.

“It’s always good with you, Denki,” you admit, completely content in your post orgasmic haze.

“All right, all right you two,” Sero’s standing up, wiping himself off with some baby wipes and fixing his pants. “We gotta do it without the fingers now; time to recharge, Chargebolt.”

“W-wait, what?” You gasp, eyes wide.

“Oh yeah, cool.” Denki sits up. “You write down times and stuff?”

“Yeah in my phone,” Sero nods, looking down at his device as Denki reaches down to the carpet for the charging cords.

You’re practically speechless, propped up on your elbows watching as they treat you like some kind of science project.

Sero catches your stare, gives you a wink, “variables, y’know? We gotta test ‘em.”

[lost-in-sokovia]

not our time

i’ve got so much good stuff sitting in my drafts that i promise im trying to work on but i watched for ellen last night and with my current mental state joby angst is what i need to write to cope ig

warnings: vomit/morning sickness, miscarriage, blood, angst, cursing

you stared at the pregnancy test with wide eyes and a hand clasped to your mouth. there was no mistaking the two pink lines that vibrantly appeared against the white. you scoffed, your heart rate increasing by the second. it was definitely a surprise, but not a complete shock considering you and your boyfriend weren’t always the most careful.

you ran a shaky hand through your hair as you backed against the wall and slowly slid down to the cold bathroom floor, eyes still on the little stick between your fingers. every time you blinked you thought as if maybe when you opened your eyes there would only be one line, and every time you were disappointed. you and joby never discussed having a baby. you knew it was a touchy subject and something difficult for him to imagine considering what happened with ellen. you couldn’t think about this positively knowing that telling joby you were pregnant without prior agreement or planning could hurt him. you wanted to be happy about it, you truly did, but you were not going to tell joby until you thought it might be an idea that would appease him.

that afternoon when joby came home he found you on the couch with a blanket nestled around you as you mindlessly watched a children’s cartoon. the door opened and your boyfriend clad in black and leather slipped in, running a hand through his long dark locks before glancing over at you.

“hey babe,” he greeted simply, taking off his shoes and leather jacket.

“hey,” you replied. your eyes were glued to the screen as you watched the bright cartoon, and joby scoffed as he walked over to kiss your head.

“isn’t this a kid’s show?” he asked in amusement as he glanced to the television. you nodded mindlessly, just trying to get the news of your pregnancy off your mind. he stood to the side of you, watching the program for a moment before giving another amused scoff and caressing your chin before walking off to the kitchen.

“did you uh, start your period yet?” he called, searching around cabinets and opening the refrigerator in search of something to consume. your stomach lurched and your eyes widened and were torn away from their trance. you’d forgotten you told joby that you were late, and you weren’t about to let him even suspect you might be pregnant.

“uh, y-yeah i did,” you called back, trying to calm your nerves and the nausea that plagued your stomach. it was the easiest answer out, and you didn’t want him to hear you hesitate. you didn’t want to lie to him, but at least claiming you were on your period would cover up any mood swings or nausea you might deal with.

“oh good, i know you were concerned.” joby’s concern was sweet. he knew you had mentioned it was odd you were off and that you were waiting to start your cycle. you didn’t respond to that, he simply grabbed a beer and settled in next to you. he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pressed a kiss to your cheek before taking a swig from the brown glass bottle.

“do you want some?” your boyfriend asked, offering the bottle to you. you shook your head, the faint smell of beer from his breath making you want to throw up. you grunted and nuzzled against joby’s shoulder with the blanket, him welcoming your touch and placing his hand gently in your hair. you heard joby chuckle a couple times and mutter about to stupid the show you had turned on was, and your eyes slowly closed as you let out a long sigh.

—

when joby woke you up it was no longer light outside and the channel had been changed to a rerun of an old rock band concert. your brain was a bit fuzzy from sleep as your half-opened eyes scanned around your dark living room, trying to regain your senses. you could see the silhouettes of furniture in your room and the television provided a blueish glow around the room as you slowly lifted your head off of your boyfriend’s shoulder.

“let’s go to bed, babe, come on…” joby urged gently as he helped you up. you kept your fuzzy blanket wrapped tightly around you as you stalked towards your room.

“what time is it?” you mumbled as joby led you through the door.

“it’s 10:15, you’ve been passed out for a pretty long time,” he explained. “let’s get you out of those clothes… do you want to take a shower or brush your teeth?”

“no,” you grumbled as you fell onto the bed, your brain not worried about your hygiene as tiredness clouded your thoughts. joby helped you lift your shirt off and unclasp your bra, and he pulled your sweatpants off before making sure you were tucked comfortably beneath the covers. he pressed a gently kiss to your lips and you hummed, his long fingers running his fingers down your cheek and to your chin.

“give me a minute, i’ll join you,” joby whispered in reassurance as he stood up off the bed, surely going off to smoke a cigarette. you simply allowed your head to sink into the pillow, your mind empty of thoughts as you tried to fall back to sleep. the pregnancy lurked in the back of your mind, but you shooed it away, too tired to worry about it at this point.

—

you woke up with your bare chest pressed against joby’s, feeling his breath across the top of your head and feeling his chest rise and fall beneath you. the morning sun peeked through the blackout curtains and you closed your eyes once more, lifting a hand from around joby’s waist to trace mindless patterns over the tattoos on his arm. he let out a small hum at your touch and you smiled, moments like these some of your favorites with joby.

you felt nausea suddenly begin to pile in your stomach. you blinked, shaking your head and trying to tell yourself you were fine. the disgusting feeling grew in your stomach and you scrunched your nose, trying to take a few steady breaths as you told yourself not to vomit. you glanced up at your boyfriend, him peacefully asleep with his greasy hair slightly disheveled. your nerves sparked, wishing desperately not to disturb him or make him worry about you.

it wasn’t until you felt the warm acid push up your throat that you flung yourself off of him and ran to the bathroom, spilling your guts into the toilet the moment you made it. joby was hot on your tail, you could hear him running through the hall and slightly running into walls before landing behind you, lifting your hair off your neck and rubbing your bare back as you heaved and cried into the toilet. he watched with concern in his green eyes as you slowly stopped, tears rolling down your cheeks before you leaned back against him. he caught you and nervously hushed you, wiping your tears as your crying increased.

“jesus, y/n, sweetheart… what happened?” he asked, his voice still thick with exhaustion. you couldn’t stop crying no matter how hard you tried, and you didn’t have any words to offer him. you were overwhelmed. you sat in this little bathroom in your boyfriend’s arms as he tried to mask his concern and confusion, you hiding a pregnancy from him and covering it up as your period. you were in pain.

“y/n, y/n… shit, please give me an answer?” you heard joby’s voice beg as you zoned back into reality. you sniffled and he ran his hand through your hair, wiping the edge of your mouth with one finger and wiping your tears with another.

“i don’t know,” you breathed weakly. “i don’t feel good…” you mumbled. joby blinked and held you quietly, your chest shaking as you tried to breathe. your eyes slowly closed and you could feel how tense joby was beneath you.

“i mean, you think it’s just, uh, your period or something?” he tried. you shrugged; you didn’t feel like answering with a firm confirmation or denial. joby waited another moment before trying again. “is it because you didn’t really eat much last night? you gotta give me something, babe,” joby implored.

“take me back to bed,” was all you replied with weakly. you sat up and allowed for joby to stand, him groaning lightly as he hoisted you into his arms, carrying you out of the bathroom.

“…you’re scarin’ me,” he tried to laugh as he laid you back into bed, any remaining warmth from the body heat completely gone. you didn’t respond as he pulled the blankets back up around you, running a hand through his hair and sighing. “just go sleep, you let me know if you need anything,” he whispered earnestly, kissing your hand. you felt tears well up in your eyes again but didn’t allow them to fall until you heard joby put on a shirt and leave, shutting the door behind him. immediately a warm tear slid down your cheek and you grit your teeth, clutching the blanket between your fist. a steady stream of warm tears began to wet your face and pillow as you held back a sob. being pregnant sucked. you felt terrible and you couldn’t open up to joby about it, you simply had to lie. you wanted to tell him everything, you wanted him to be excited and kiss you and be ready to be a father again. you wanted to start a family with joby, now.

you kept the blanket pulled up to your chin until the crying died down, the top of the blanket soaked with your tears. you breathed shakily, your stomach tightening uncomfortably at the emptiness and you squeezed your eyes shut as you rode out the bolt of pain. you weren’t even that tired anymore, your thoughts consuming any chance of falling asleep you once had as they tortured your mind. you could not tell joby you were pregnant. there was no way you could possibly do that.

you formed a plan in your head, the best possible scenario: propose the idea as if it hadn’t happened yet. ask him if he’s ever thought about another baby. if he wasn’t on board with the idea, there were ways you could take care of it need be…

after spending your day in bed, the next day you felt better than before and joby was relieved. he let himself forget about you being sick and not providing him a solid answer; he was just glad you felt better.

he took you out to breakfast at a local diner though your appetite still wasn’t up to its normal status.

“just, you know, get a soda or something babe. it’s not a big deal, just thought i’d take you out for once,” joby said in his usual chill and laid back voice. you gave a small smile and shifted on the worn cushion of the booth as joby’s green eyes scanned the menu. you watched him swipe his thumb along his bottom lip as his eyes went back and forth, before he cleared his throat and closed the menu.

“i’m just gonna get a soda,” you told joby. he shrugged and looked out the window.

“that’s fine. whatever you want,” he replied sweetly as he fiddled with his small growth of chin hair. you bit your lip and crossed your arms around your stomach, pulling your sweatshirt tight around you. you admired joby across from you. he was quiet, joby was never too talkative or active in the mornings unless he had to be. you glanced around the homey diner, watching people drink their coffee alone quietly at the bar and families with their children in booths.

you spotted a mother holding her newborn baby swaddled in her arms, the baby fast asleep as the mother rocked side to side and gently pat the baby’s bottom. your heart melted and you smiled sadly, remembering the little bean in your stomach.

you sighed wishfully before turning your gaze back to joby, gently getting his attention.

“honey, look at that little baby over there with her mommy,” you said quietly as you subtlety pointed a finger to the booth across the way. joby blinked and moved around a bit until he saw spotted the scene, and he nodded with a small tug of his lips.

“that’s cute,” he replied somewhat basically, just trying to appease you. you turned back around and joby ran a hand through his long dark hair, letting his head fall back as he did.

after the waitress came over and took your order joby cocked his head and raised an eyebrow at you.

“you sure you’re doin’ alright?” he asked in verification. “i mean like, i’m not expecting you to eat like a whole damn feast but uh… yeah, you doing okay?”

you nodded, reaching across the wooden table to take his hand.

“i’m fine, joby, i promise. just, y’know, taking it easy,” you shrugged with a small grin. he nodded his head slowly and kissed your hand before intertwining it with his own.

another moment of silence between the two of you, and the urge to mention something to joby began to eat away at your calm and cool composure. your knee began bouncing and you tried your best to take a deep breath as quietly as possible.

“joby,” you started before you could talk yourself out of it. he raised his eyebrows as his cool gaze met yours, waiting patiently for you to keep going. god, he was always so laid back and cool about everything. you wished you had his personality. “have you ever, you know, thought about like…” just spit it out. “having a kid ever again?”

joby blinked as his eyes widened. he shifted from his relaxed position to a more, upright and tense state.

“i mean,” he started unsurely, looking to the side before looking at you once more. “i���m not sure. i think i’d try to be a better dad if i ever was, but, y’know,” he replied slowly, still more chilled out than you would’ve expected. he waited a moment before opening his mouth again. “why?”

“oh, i was just thinking. i just saw that baby and thought she was cute… i know you didn’t really-,” you stopped yourself when you saw joby’s expression change ever so slightly at the thought of ellen. “never mind. i just thought i’d ask, just curious,” you insisted, wrapping an arm a bit tighter around your waist. joby nodded and sucked gently on his top lip, muttering a slightly amused “alright.”

you brushed it off nervously, not allowing yourself to bring it up anymore. had joby given you the answer you wanted? you weren’t sure. was it the answer you expected? you also weren’t sure. all you could see was that small change of expression he had when he thought of his daughter and that was enough to wrench at your heart.

as a few weeks went by, you still refused to tell joby you were pregnant. you had to hide your morning sickness from him. you had to come up with a reason why you wouldn’t drink alcohol at his snake trouble concerts. your mood swings were getting harder and harder to keep at a minimum. all the while you somehow kept slipping in the idea of having a family with him one day. he wasn’t stupid, he knew something was wrong. he was beginning to get upset as time went on and you weren’t sure what to do. you hadn’t even gone to the doctor for a confirmation of your pregnancy, you refused.

“i don’t understand what you don’t want to tell me, y/n. i know you’re hiding something,” he’d say with a biting tone. you’d shakily exhale, wiggling your fingers and clenching your fists.

“joby i told you, i’m fine!” you’d argue back. your boyfriend would roll his eyes and walk a slow circle around himself, trying to pace himself and not yell at you as viscously as his anger wanted him to.

“you’re obviously not! you’re not acting like yourself, your appetite has fluctuated so much since that first week you were sick, you’re getting upset over little things, and what the hell is with this new thing about talking about children?” he’d yell. your breath would hitch in your throat as he waited for a response, looking at you knowingly. “yeah, i’m not an idiot, y/n. are you trying to make me feel bad or something? is this your weird way of trying to get me to break up with you? first act all weird and cut me off all while sprinkling in whatever fucking you’re playing at to try and make me think of ellen?”

salty tears brimmed your eyes as you stood as straight as you could, shaking your head as your heartstrings stretched and yanked and pulled. “joby no, please-“

“whatever, man,” he’d interrupt, fiercely pushing his hair back and growling to himself. “whatever, i don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

he had stopped holding you closely at night, and sometimes the two of you would go to bed on sour notes with each other. those were the nights where you’d muffle your crying with a pillow, clutching your stomach as you did. you were going to start showing soon, you weren’t quite sure how much longer you could keep up the charade.

one night after one of joby’s concerts, you sat in the trailer on the couch with him, your head on his lap as he carded his long fingers through your hair. you were gentle with each other, trying to recover from a week or so of bad blood between the two of you. you still hadn’t told joby of your pregnancy, but you were sure you’d do it soon as you began to gain a slightly noticeable amount of weight.

“i’m proud of you, babe,” you whispered as joby breathed tiredly. “you were phenomenal as always.”

“all for you,” he responded gently, sliding his fingers beneath your chin for a moment which made you hum happily. it was a peaceful moment. you debated telling him your news right then and there.

“i have to pee,” you groaned as you sat up, his eyes following you as you stood up, his hands reaching weakly after you.

“i’ll be right here,” joby yawned and you smiled and scrunched your nose at him. you walked towards the small bathroom inside the trailer and shut the door behind you, taking a deep breath. maybe it was a good time to tell him. maybe he’d be happy, maybe the idea had grown on him. you weren’t claire, and this baby wouldn’t be ellen. it wouldn’t be fair if he didn’t at least give it a chance-

your heart stopped in your chest as you saw a decent sized stain of blood in your underwear. your chest began to heave and you shook your head.

“no no no…” you repeated nervously. the baby, the baby… you quickly finished your business and washed your hands, busting out of the door and startling joby in the process. worst case scenarios flooded your mind and you prayed to god nothing was wrong inside of you. “joby take me to the hospital,” you pleaded as you strode towards him. he shot up, looking at you with confusion and concern written all over his face. “please, joby, baby, just take me-“ you were crying, grasping his hands on his shoulders and he blinked and looked all over you.

“y/n, y/n, breathe. what’s wrong?” he asked.

“i’m bleeding,” your voice broke. he jerked his head slightly forward as his eyes narrowed puzzlingly.

“you’re bleeding where, sweetheart?” he continued, trying to ask you questions as calmly as possible. you yanked your hands off of him and held them in front of the front of your pants as they shook rapidly. your thoughts were no longer forming coherently as you stood in front of your flustered boyfriend who knew you had nothing to miscarry.

joby shook his head in confusion. “honey, is that not your period, or-“

“just take me to the hospital!” you shrieked desperately. he muttered “okay, okay!” defensively as he grabbed his keys and your purse before leading you out of the trailer with one arm around your shoulders without saying a word to his band mates.

you cried the entire way to the hospital, a sharp pain shooting through your abdomen causing you to groan and screech, joby trying as best he could to awkwardly and nervously calm you down as he drove as quickly as possible to a nearby hospital. every time you thought about the baby your sobs increased, your chest heaving as you hyperventilated and held onto joby’s leather jacket.

“just hold on, we’re almost there,” joby muttered as coolly and comforting as possible, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. his phone kept ringing as his band members called him to ask where he was or why he left so soon, and he ignored every single call while driving like your life depended on it.

unfortunately, it wasn’t quite your life.

joby held you close and continued to breathlessly whisper comforting things into your ear as he led you into the ER. he called desperately for a doctor and you were accepted right away, joby holding on tightly to your hand as you were led to a room.

you hadn’t stopped crying until all your tests were finished. you sat in a hospital gown on one of those beds. you were given a pad and a new set of underwear to put on after you changed clothes. your were eyes puffy with mascara smeared below your eyelid and face pink as joby held you against him, trying to hum something softly to you. he was still completely confused, but he wasn’t going to show you the fear that ate away at him as his leg bounced and shook rapidly.

you sniffled and blinked with exhaustion, brain fuzzy and empty. joby let out an exhale and swallowed thickly, waiting in that bleak hospital room with you for results.

you felt joby tense as the door opened but you stayed completely limp; you knew what was about to be said to you, the pain and amount of blood had only grown since arriving at the hospital. you stared tiredly at the doctor as she shut the door behind her, her expression clear with all that needed to be said.

“miss y/l/n?” she asked gently as she took a seat across from you. you nodded weakly, joby petting your hair as he anxiously waited for the doctor to give him any answers and any insight she had. joby would finally get to know what was wrong with you.

“i know we discussed some things privately regarding this situation, but i wanted to tell you first off that yes, you were,” the doctor began cautiously. joby blinked and looked down at you as a few stray tears slid down your cheek. you could feel his heartbeat increase as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, glancing from you to the doctor.

yes, you were.

“i’m so sorry to inform you that you have had a miscarriage, the baby is gone,” the doctor continued carefully. you felt joby go tense as you began to cry again, burying your face into joby’s shoulder as you let out quiet cries. joby’s jaw was dropped and his eyes looked at you desperately, this new information hitting him like a bus as he held you while you cried. nothing seemed real to him. he was dreaming, or someone had laced his beer with something.

“i’ll give you two a moment,” the doctor excused herself gently. joby held you stiffly for a moment as your sobs increased, your nails digging into the leather of his jacket. he was shocked, his breathing somewhat labored as he looked around and had to remember why he was at the hospital for a moment. he hooked his fingers around your chin and pulled your teary face up to look at him, his green eyes filled with hurt and his expression broken as he shook his head.

“you were pregnant?” he breathed. you nodded in defeat, tears wetting his fingers as they slid down your flushed cheeks. he scoffed, swallowing as he searched for words. “why didn’t you tell me, y/n?” his voice was riddled with hurt and he looked as though he was going to cry. you had never seen joby cry in all the years you’d dated him, and your heart was by far like a deflated balloon at this point with no chance of resuscitation.

“i was scared,” you whimpered. joby looked up to the ceiling and cursed under his breath. “we had n-never talked about having a baby, and i didn’t want to put you through something you didn’t want to go through,” your voice broke. joby let go of your chin as you watched his expression harden as he tried to hold back both tears of sadness and anger. he slammed his fist down on his thigh, muttering a broken “fuck” as he did.

you watched and held your bottom lip between your teeth as the stream of tears flowed and flowed. joby exhaled forcefully and looked down, his hands slightly shaking.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered barely audibly. you watched joby try and fail at keeping his emotions at bay as a few tears found their way out of his clenched eyelids. he opened his eyes and looked at you again, some of his hair falling in front of his face.

“why didn’t you tell me?” he asked again, more forcefully this time. you let out a small sob as the words clogged up your already pained chest.

“i didn’t know if you even wanted to be a father,” you sobbed. “i didn’t want to make you go through being a father again when you’re still barely over ellen. and i don’t blame you, she’s your daughter, im just saying-“ your rant was caught up as your breath hitched in your throat before continuing. “i-i’m just saying i wasn’t going to make you feel any pain about this… i’m sorry,” you sobbed.

you saw your boyfriend’s stiff posture soften and he gently closed his eyes, biting the edge of his lip and holding his hands on his lap.

“so… that day you were sick?” he asked weakly. you nodded.

“i knew,” you whispered in reply.

he was quiet. everything was finally adding up in his head and he felt like such an idiot for not seeing it before. he was hurt you didn’t tell him, but he felt guilty that he was the reason you didn’t tell him. he was torn apart inside, losing a baby he didn’t know he even had until now.

you watched anxiously, expecting him at any moment to break up with you and leave you alone in this goddamn hospital. you exhaled shakily as you watched him, the anger melting from his expression as more tears began to wet his cheeks. he hesitated before wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close to him, you starting to cry again as slight relief washed over you and the lump in your throat dissolving.

“i wouldn’t have said ‘no,’” joby choked out, obviously a little uncomfortable he was crying in front of you. you kissed his salty cheek and wrapped your arms around him as tightly as possible, nuzzling your head against his as he tried to breathe smoothly. “it wouldn’t be my first time dealing with that sort of thing,” his voice broke as a tear dripped onto you. you kissed his cheek again as he allowed himself to let out a small cry.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered again into his ear. he shook his head, don’t be. i understand.

he gently grabbed you and pulled you onto his lap, crying silently into your hair as he rocked you back and forth.

“this isn’t it, joby,” your small voice said as your head leaned against his shoulder. you didn’t want to just suggest trying for a baby as soon as possible, but what you wanted to say was understood in that small sentence.

“i know,” he croaked out.

you two stayed like that for a few moments, joby’s turn to cry this time as you sat weakly in his arms. the hospital room was still quiet and eerie, the two of you not even caring how late into the night it was or the fact that the doctor was still outside. what more was there to say? you needed time now.

when joby’s crying died down, you pulled back to look at his puffy face like yours and you gently kissed his lips, looking at him as lovingly as possible at his lost expression.

“it just wasn’t our time,” you whispered.

lol this one goes out to all the people who requested this!!! (it’s me, im the one who requested this.) anyways i hope you,,, at least somewhat liked reading it lol i know it’s dark

[turtle-steverogers]

i was thinking but do you know the unsent project? it is this website where you can write a message to your first love that you never sent to them. now imagine steve writing one (or multiple) to bucky after he came out of the ice after nat told him about it... yeah

hello hi anon this broke me and it was too perfect not to turn into a ficlet klafjldskjfalskf thank you

-

Unsent Letters

To:

Steve’s fingers freeze over the keyboard, the cursor blinking at him. It feels like it’s taunting him-- teasing him with the burden of choking out a name. What should he even say? The sender is anonymous, but how many people are named Bucky out there? Would anyone even care?

To: Bu

Steve huffs and backspaces, his hands trembling as he curls them into fists. He isn’t sure what provoked Natasha to tell him about this website. It’s a cruel tease to everything he wishes he could say-- wished he could say before Bucky slipped through his fingers. And now his only option is yelling into an abyss. The text box is black and daunting. He turns it yellow. No, too happy. Green. Yes, that’s fine. Bucky’s favorite color was always green.

His gaze wanders away from the screen of his hefty Dell laptop and out the window of his apartment. DC’s low rising buildings span out in front of him. His gut aches; he misses New York already. But he knows being there would only mangle his soul further, seeing his already alien home torn to shreds by literal space whales. He huffs, thinking of Bucky’s comics. His stories came to life after all. Bucky would have probably vibrated out of his skin if he knew there was other life out there.

To: My astronaut

How’s space treating you? It’s treating me pretty badly, if I’m being honest. If only you could see what it’s done to Brooklyn. I think you’d be pretty mad at it if you knew…

Steve hesitates, reading back over what he’s typed. It’s stupid as hell, and he cringes, but he doesn’t backspace. His fingers find the keys again.

I miss you something awful. I don’t think that even encompasses how much I’m hurting without you. I feel so lost right now-- space is much bigger and scarier than you’d think. I know you’d love it. I wish you could see bits of it, but god, I just want to go home. I want you to come home.

Steve freezes again and finds the screen blurry where tears have welled in his eyes. His jaw clenches as he pictures the way Bucky would laugh at him-- teasing him for his dramatics and ruffling his hair. He wishes he could be there now, rolling his eyes and nudging Steve’s shoulder.

“What’re you upsetting yourself for?” He’d say, gently closing the laptop and coaxing Steve into his arms. “I’m right here, pal.”

And if Steve closes his eyes, he can almost feel Bucky’s warmth enveloping him. But he’s not there. He’s dead, and Steve’s a goddamn ghost, drifting through a future that doesn’t know him.

He opens his eyes and stares at the text box, then clicks submit.

The screen loads, and his message is gone, his pain forever documented in the abyss.

-

For someone who fought aliens two weeks after waking up from his impromptu seventy year sleep, Steve’s life is pretty monotonous. He contemplates this unfortunate fact as he stands in front of his toaster, hair sticking up on the back of his head as he nurses a mug of coffee and waits for his toast to pop.

It’s 5:45 in the morning and he tries to remember a time when he didn’t rise this early. Before the war, perhaps. Though, he’s always been a bit of an early bird. His home life was sporadic to put it lightly and he’d learned from an early age that the sooner he was awake, the better it was for everyone. Vigilance is not a new concept for Steve.

He hasn’t always stayed up late, though. That’s certainly new, and he feels this fact viscerally as he catches sight of his reflection in the microwave. There are bags under his eyes that will be gone by mid-morning thanks to the serum. Dermatologists hate him, Natasha says. Steve thinks he’s pretty lucky that the serum more or less equipped him with a built-in anti-aging agent. His father had started balding by thirty.

His toast pops and he starts a little, blinking blearily at the slightly burnt bread as he pulls it out of the toaster with his thumb and forefinger. He spreads on the same raspberry jam and butter that he uses every morning and tries not to think of how bland it tastes in his mouth as he eats it standing at the counter. Another routine.

He tries not to look at last night’s dishes in the sink as he stacks his plate and silverware on top and doesn’t bother sorting out his hair before pulling on his sneakers and slipping out of his apartment. The sun hasn’t quite risen yet, only the beginning tendrils of light sneaking over the low tops of the DC buildings, and Steve vaguely regrets not grabbing a sweatshirt before he left. It’s not quite Summer yet and the mornings could still get pretty cool.

He’s about to take off down the street when he freezes. Natasha is sitting on the steps of his complex, wearing a pair of pink tinted sunglasses and tossing up and down the keys to her car. Steve blinks, rubs his eyes, then blinks again. Nope. She’s still there.

“Nat?”

Natasha looks up at him and smiles. “Hello.”

Steve shifts, uncomfortable. “Hi. You need something? Is there a mission?”

“No,” Natasha says lightly, standing. “You’re not running this morning, though. Come on, I’m taking you to Starbucks.”

“What?”

“Starbucks. You’re going to try it.”

“I don’t want--”

“Steve, you do the same thing every day. Step out of your comfort zone a little.”

Steve frowns, but Natasha’s right-- he really doesn’t ever stray from his routine.

“Fine,” he says, and twenty minutes later, they’re strolling into the nearest Starbucks.

He’s only been in one before, and that was to use the restroom while on a run. He’d bought a water bottle in an attempt to not be rude and use their facilities without giving them any business, but he hadn’t even considered the expansive menu. All the fancy names were too daunting.

They’re just as daunting now as he stares up at the board, heart hammering out of his chest as he’s faced with indecision. Natasha takes one look at his face, and reaches out to squeeze his arm.

“I’ll order something for you,” she says. “What kind of coffee do you like?”

Steve gives her a pained look. “Um… just coffee?”

Natasha quirks a smile and orders him something called a caramel macchiato. He’ll take it, he guesses.

The drink is too damn sweet and sugary and he almost gags. Still, he was always told to finish what he was given, so he drinks the whole thing.

-

To: Mr. Sweet Tooth

You’d fucking love it here. Everything is packed with sugar and sweetness-- enough to make even my teeth rot. I had something called a caramel macchiato today and it tasted like someone took your ma’s caramels and condensed them into a cup. I couldn’t stand it, but I know if you were here, you’d want at least twelve. I hope you’re enjoying all the sweets you can up in space.

Love, Mr. Boring

-

Steve’s fingers are stiff and frozen as he works at the straps of his stealth suit. The tangy taste of saltwater still sits heavy on his tongue, and he clenches his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering too harshly as he finally peels off his suit. It’s not much better, being naked, but at least the wet fabric isn’t clinging to him anymore.

The mission had been pretty straightforward until some alien tech managed to blast the quinjet to kingdom come, and they all free-fell straight into the freezing Atlantic.

Steve had managed to keep it together as they took down the goddamn mad scientist that fucked them over, but now that he’s home and alone, he can feel the adrenaline crashing.

He’s shaking from more than just the cold as he draws himself a warm bath, and he pulls his knees up to his chest, trying to breathe through the panic that wants to engulf his entire being.

He loses time for a bit, and comes back to himself lying in his bed, burrowed under several thick layers. He feels so cold, down to his very soul-- a chill that he can never seem to truly shake, even when he’s warm.

Not for the first time, he wishes Bucky were there to hold him. He slips off to sleep thinking old, comforting thoughts of Bucky rubbing his hands between his own, coaxing his head under his chin to engulf him in that natural warmth of his. He always was a fucking furnace.

But when Steve wakes an hour later, shaking hard enough to move the bed with the force of the nightmare he’d dropped into, Bucky is not there to soothe away the ice.

-

To: JB

im so cold and i cant breathe ever and nothing feels right. I dont know what to do, u were always the problem solver between us and i cant think straight right now and i just want you here please. I cant do this anymore, im so tired please come back. I need you please

-

The Winter Soldier file sits in front of Steve-- a horrifying nightmare wrapped up in a neat brown folder. Residual nausea swirls around in his gut as he comes down from the horrible high of reading through the contents. His hands shake where they grasp the thick paper. His heart clenches hard in his chest.

Bucky is alive. Bucky is alive, and he’s been unmade.

Steve doesn’t know where he is-- if he’s escaped, or if Hydra found him again. It’s been three weeks now since the helicarriers, and he’s only just gotten the courage to sit down and wade through the shit that is Bucky’s reality.

He just hopes he’s safe. God, he hopes.

Sam says he’ll help him look, and Steve needs to know he’s at least out of danger, but he barely knows where to start.

And he’s sorry. He’s so fucking sorry.

Blinking out of his reverie, Steve looks at his laptop. He feels strange and detached as he reaches for it and logs in.

To: Bucky

And yes, that feels right. He should use his name, since he suspects no one has for a long, long time.

I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry that you’ve been hurting so quietly for so long. I understand if you’re not ready to come home-- I understand if you never are. I just hope that you know that there will always be a place with me that is safe. I love you so much and I’m here, forever and always.

Love, Steve.

He’s not naive. He knows it would be dangerous to submit that particular message, so he doesn’t. But that’s okay. That one’s just for him-- for them.

-

“Steve? What is the… Unsent Project?”

Steve frowns and pokes his head out of the kitchen. Bucky is sitting on the couch in the living room, using his laptop, because his own is having storage issues.

Bucky looks at him. “It’s one of your saved tabs. What is it?”

And oh, fuck. Steve had forgotten to remove that from his homepage-- it really wasn’t needed anymore. He blushes all the way to his ears.

“Oh, it’s-- nothing. Not anything important--”

But Bucky has already clicked on the tab.

“The Unsent Project,” he reads aloud. “A collection of unsent text messages to… first… loves…”

He trails off as he processes what he’s looking at, and Steve can’t quite read his expression when he looks at him again. His eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s looking at Steve like he’s some sort of kicked puppy. Steve shifts, uncomfortable.

“Were you sending me… messages? While I was dead?”

Steve swallows. “Um…” and now that Bucky says it out loud, it really does sound quite sad. He shrugs. “It’s Natasha’s fault?”

Bucky shakes his head, clicking on the search bar. He starts to type his name, but Steve shakes his head.

“I didn’t use your name.”

“Oh,” Bucky says, then frowns at him again. “What did you use?”

Steve blushes harder, sitting next to Bucky and taking the laptop from him.

“Um…” he hesitates, then types what he was sure he used as his first alias.

My astronaut

The screen buffers and loads, then fifty or so messages pop up. Steve scrolls down-- it doesn’t take long to find his.

They’re both quiet as they read, and Steve cringes. Jeez, he really had been pretty dramatic. Next to him, Bucky makes a hurt noise.

“Oh, honey,” he murmurs, taking the laptop back from Steve. He reads the message again, then once more, and reaches out for Steve. “Aw, I’m here now.”

Steve huffs, embarrassed. “I know,” he says. “That was way back, like, three weeks after I woke up.”

Bucky stills. “You fought aliens three weeks after you woke up?”

“... More like two.”

Bucky hums. “Are there others?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, reaching out to type on Bucky’s lap, because Bucky is holding him now and he’s quite reluctant to move. He thinks for a moment, then types in the next one he remembers.

Mr. Sweet Tooth

Bucky laughs, and Steve finds himself smiling.

“I find this funny,” Bucky says. “Because caramel macchiatos are definitely one of my favorites now.”

Steve laughs, too, and butts his head against Bucky’s shoulder.

“If only I could tell that to myself back then-- he’d be thrilled.”

“I’m sure,” Bucky says. “Any more?”

Steve hesitates, thinking of the one he’d sent after that nightmare-- when he was low and hurting. Incoherent. He isn’t sure he wants Bucky to see that particular side of his soul, but Bucky has been more than generous in letting him in on his pains nowaday, and it’s not like Bucky hasn’t witnessed Steve’s own current nightmares.

He bites his lip and types in JB. That seems to yield a lot more results, and it takes a while for Steve to find the message.

He hides his face in Bucky’s neck as he reads. Bucky’s arms gradually tighten around him, and a moment later, he feels him kiss the top of his head.

“Honey, I hate that you were hurting so bad,” Bucky mutters against his hair.

Steve shrugs. “We both were,” he says, and it’s true. There’s something to be said about the guilt they both feel for not being able to save the other person at their lowest, but life hasn’t been kind to them. The vitriol, Steve thinks, should be directed at the goddamn universe for keeping them apart, not themselves for fucking dying. They’re working on it.

Bucky’s quiet for a long time. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says. “Is that it?”

Steve shakes his head. “But I never sent the last one.”

“Why not?”

“I wrote it after DC.”

He feels Bucky squeeze him again, and he squeezes back.

“Oh.”

“I just-- I wanted you to know that you didn’t have to come home. That I just wanted you to be safe; needed to know you were safe, but it was up to you. I just needed you to know I was here, if you needed me.”

Bucky pulls back then and cups his face, kissing him soundly. Steve’s surprised for only a moment before he’s kissing back.

“I did know that,” Bucky says against his lips. “I needed time-- I was lost-- but the first thing I knew when I remembered who you were was that you were a safe person, because you’d never force me anywhere.”

Steve kisses him again, then pulls him into a hug. “I’m glad you knew that.” It’s warm, where their chests meet, and Bucky is solid beneath him. Real. He isn’t speaking into an abyss anymore.

-

There’s a sticky note on Bucky’s pillow next to his head when he wakes up the next morning. Steve’s side of the bed is already vacant, and he can’t hear him downstairs. He must have already left for a run.

Propping himself on an elbow, Bucky plucks up the sticky note.

To: My Bucky

Thank you for choosing me to be your home, and thank you forever, for being mine.

I love you with everything I have.

Love, your Steve

Bucky smiles, heart light as he folds the notes. He’ll keep that one with him, he thinks. A little bit of home to bring wherever he goes.

-

anyway yeah fslkjflaskjfls i-- ouch. anything to do with letters w these two hurts me immensely

[midday0nightmares]

27 - pry on the weak (m).

Previous chapter in your arms (m).

m.list.

warnings: this series contains themes of yandere\mafia, blood, violence, mental health, drugs, non-con.

author note: this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

The door was shut, it won’t open, it was cemented on every side expat for the small slit under it, you try knocking, shout for someone, anyone, but to no avail.

you try the window, it opens, but the sight is even scarier. The city is quiet, too quiet. No traffic in its usually busy streets, every window in the near buildings were closed, no birds in the sky, not a single sign of life, even the sun seems stuck in its place, time isn’t moving.

Outside the closed door, you can hear muffled sounds, you peak under the door and see the familiar white socks on a pair of feet moving around the room, it’s jaemin. you shout and scream for him, but he doesn’t even flinch, he just keeps going through his day. 

You were forgotten, lost forever in his room.

You jolt out of the claustrophobic nightmare, everything around you looks sound and in its right place, including jaemin, who’s sleeping next you, it was a nightmare.. you didn’t think that a nightmare would have the audacity to visit you while you were sleeping in his arms.

You snuggle closer to him, too close, not minding if he wakes up right now, it would be ideal if he can listen to you telling him about the rude nightmare and sho It away..  

.

.

.

He buckles under your pleads, 

“fine.. you can come too”  

The high pitched squeal you let out almost made him change his mind.

You wore a simple, body fitting black dress, a safe choice, you walked to the living room where jaemin was waiting for you, he was wearing a black suit, the black trousers making his long legs look extra inviting.

Jeno whistle from behind you when you spun to show jaemin your outfit, you roll your eyes at his ungentlemanly behavior, 

But the way jaemin’s eyes were shinning, and the compliment “you look beautiful” made your heart flutter, but the butterflies were shot dead when jeno’s hand landed on your ass in a sharp slap.

You link arms with jaemin and make the short trip to the door across the hallway to chenle apartment, the door was open, you were welcomed by upbeat classical music, not what you’ve expected.

Inside, the apartment looked like an entire house by itself, it was three times bigger than your apartment, the atmosphere was intimidating, everyone looked expensive and beautiful, there was three type of guests, men, gorgeous women, and you. 

Bite sized appetizers and trays of champion were being served along side an open bar at the corner, chandeliers were hanging off the ceiling and the big glass door opens to the terrace.

Your heart sunk and your stomach turned over inside of you. You cling to jaemin’s arm when you spot that face, haechan’s face.he approaches you and they all greeted each other, you keep looking else where, doing your best to ignore him. 

“Hey man! Long time no see.. what are you doing here? You know chenle?” Yes good question jaemin, what is he doing here?

“Yeah yeah..” He leans closer and lowers his voice “he’s one of my top clients” he gestures to the tens of girls around.. and it clicks in your head that they were all escorts, brought by haechan, they were his girls. you didn’t even try to hide the look of disgust that was showing on your face.

“Hey handsome” a tall, brunette, doll like girl throws her arms around jeno, “haven’t seen you in a while” she seamlessly pout. He giggles and turns into a harmless puppy in her hands, she must be one of haechan girls too, of course he will pay for company, who would want to spend time with him.

Your attention turns back to the hushed conversation between haechan and jaemin,

 “… no, his father is the of a one the leaders of the Chinese communist party, powerful man. and he’s the sole hire of multiple companies” haechan says.

“What is he doing here?” Jaemin asks. 

 “don’t know.. but based on what I have heard, he’s not staying for long..” haechan cuts himself as soon as he notice your interest in their conversation, “And how have you been doing sweet thing?”

oh the rage that went through you, you wished you could claw his eyes out, your distain is loud on your features. jaemin’s hand reach and hold yours, giving you a gentle squeeze, silently apologizing for breaking his promise of not having to see haechan again. 

And of course Hacehan is anything but dumb, he reads your mood and turns back to jaemin “come, I want you to meet someone” .. “haa you never stop working, don’t you?” Jaemin let go of your hand and slips deeper into the crowd, leaving you standing awkwardly next to jeno and his baby.

You stomp with no destination in mind. you look around, amazed by everything, but you feel misplaced, the looks that were thrown your way, you didn’t belong here and everyone knew it, there was an underlining screech the luxuries mood.

You catch the back of jaemin’s head through the crowd, an unsuspected punch of something was delivered to your heart, throwing your mood completely off. he’s with a group of giggly girls, practically drooling over them.  

you regret insisting on coming with him.. you should have known, but it’s too late now, you look else where and meet the sister eyes of haechan staring at you. he winks at you, you throw him the dirtiest look you have and move out of his sight line.

You pick a glass of champagne and lean against the wall, tipping the tall glass and drinking it in one go, and another.. starting to feel better. Chenle’s bright hair stands between the crowds, he gracefully moves around greeting everyone, you didn’t notice before but he’s quit charming.. he catches you staring at him and smile at you, rising his glass towards you, you fumble almost dropping your half empty glass.. when you mange to get a grip on yourself and rise your glass he had already return to his conversation. 

“Hello, mind if I join you?” The stranger man stands next to you even before you could’ve answered him, “what’s your name?” He looks like he was operating on twice the normal human energy, fidgeting and unable to stay still for more than three seconds, his smile twitches, the look in his eyes is frantic.. his pupils are blown, he’s on something. 

He speaks again before you can answer “hi Im yangyang, what’s your name?” why does his friends have wired names? 

You watch him like he was a train wreck happing in slow motion, “here try this” he hands you one of the two glass he was holding in his hands, a pink cocktail with raspberry, you smile politely and take the drink, he stares at you with his frozen smile.. but something behind you catches his attention, he kinda looks like a cat, just like that he leaves as fast as he came, he’s kinds cute.

You move to the open terrace for some fresh air, the breeze flowing through your hair, you zone out as you watch the city lights.. a hand graze the small of your back brings you back, you jump in surprise. “sorry didn’t mean to scare you” chenle apologize, placing a tall glass of champion in front of you, his round cheeks flushed, he looks breathtaking in this proximity, or maybe it’s just the alcohol in your system.. 

“To be honest sera, Im a little offended” he confess, your eyes grow double the size “offended.. why?”, 

he gives you sad puppy eyes and looks around “you don’t seems to enjoy my party”.. 

“oh no, I do. Your house is very beautiful and everything looks amazing” you try to convince him but he’s not buying it, you just give up and sigh, “im just tired” looking down to the busy streets..

He hums “tired or jealous?” Pointing at jeno who was too busy sucking that girl’s face, you roll your eyes and chenle laughs.

 “im not” you bring the glass to your lips, drinking more, a pathetic attempt to suppress whatever have been twisting your insides. 

Someone calls for him cutting your interaction short, “Alright.. well if you need anything come find me” he says before leaving you. You stay at your spot, distracting yourself with silly thoughts while the party behind you was growing wilder.

Your stomach growls, you feel sick and about to throw up.. heat rising through you, you sweat and feel lightheaded, you must have had too much to drink you are not used to it.

You stumble inside and through the crowded room, looking for the closest bathroom before it’s too late, haechan grabs your arm “sera.. are you ok?” His voice is far away although he’s standing next to you, you yanking your arm out of his hold “don’t touch me..”,

The room starts spinning, you hold the wall for support, after that it all went dark.

.

.

.

When you came back and opened your eyes, you were laid in a bed, the strong cologne filling your noise, upsetting your empty stomach. For a minute you don’t remember where you are or what had happened, the unfamiliar bedroom doesn’t ring any bills, your head is pounding, threatening to explode you move too much, you try to get up but a sharp pain shots through you, your hips feels like they were dislocated, your thighs bruised and had blood on them, your pulled up dress and torn underwear, it all indicates to one thing. 

You mange to hold yourself through the initial shock, not breaking down. With a plan to find jaemin you fix your dress to cover your exposed breast, you force yourself up, picking up your discarded heal off of the floor. You limb your way out of the room, the party has quite down, it has turned to something else.. 

everyone looked like a living zombie, you look for jaemin, you open every door on your way, you open a door to a bedroom, and you see group of men gathered over a passed out girl, watching them felt like an outside body experience, like you were rewatching yourself. They were unfazed by your presences as they continue their assult.. 

you close the door to the hellish scene, you keep looking for him but he’s nowhere to be found.

You reach the main area, being met by jeno and haechan snorting whit powder of the coffee table, surrounded by loopy girls.. jeno tries to grab you, to pull you down with them but you escape his claw like hand.

You can’t take this anymore, you were starting to crumble. you did’t feel safe anymore. you head to the door and walk out, you seek the comfort of a familiar surroundings, their apartment, a hot shower, clean clothes, your bed.. but you don’t have a key and you don’t know the passcode, you try random combinations but nothing works, the door stays closed, duff to your cries.

You break down, tears streaming your face, you give up on the door and slid to the ground, leaning against the wall you sit alone in the hallway waiting for jaemin’s return.

[userholland]

all for her [2]

pairing: dad!bartender!tom x female!reader

warnings: excessive drinking, cursing, mentions of blood, violence, etc.

summary: a single-dad bartender, a supportive best friend and their continuous, unrequited love noticed by his optimistic daughter. is it possible to break a heart they never knew they had?

word count: 10.8k!

the soundtrack:  dancing with your ghost - sasha sloan, chinese satellite - phoebe bridgers, never the 1 - rosie, waiting room - phoebe bridgers, guilty conscience - 070 shake

a/n: im so happy with the response from part 1 & excited that part 2 is now here!!! i think i’ll try to end with the next part but..... who knows. again, thank y’all for the feedback & hope you enjoy!

— masterlist ☆彡

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The night Summer was left on Tom’s doorstep was one he would never forget.

He moved into his apartment a month before and it was becoming more than the four, blank walls. It was in a quiet neighborhood, facing out to a street view of family-owned businesses and a bus stop. People passed the street often during the day, a good opportunity for people-watching from his small terrace. But when he closed the windows and locked the door, the feeling of being alone quickly settled in for the first time in his life. 

The thought of being independent was reliving now that he had a part-time job. He'd be able to live off his earnings with no guilt and bring whoever he wanted without disturbing his roommates. Even though he had his own place of solitude and privacy, Tom still managed to visit you at campus now that he was closer compared to the hours of driving before. He considered it as a pro to moving, but he really just needed any reason to just have you close.

Most times you’d come over, saying you had homework and studying to do, but with Tom, you never got anything done in one sitting. You made dinners together or ordered something in the middle of the night, watch movies interrupted by your playful comments or you would take a nap between your classes while he did his work.

The two of you were inseparable now throughout college, not stuck with the limited possibilities of what your small hometown gave to you. Everything was going smoothly and Tom was looking forward to what his future looked like, maybe even see you ending up together, but things took a turn when he opened the door and saw Summer, small and swaddled, in the baby carrier at his feet.

It was a Sunday, having your ideal night-in watching your favorite movie, and ordering food for dinner. Your head rested on Tom’s lap, your eyes trying to focus on the TV but they fluttered. Tom had his arm around the back of the couch with his right foot on the coffee table. Sometimes he’d glance down at you, making sure you didn’t fall asleep because you had more studying to do, but he gently shook you every few minutes when he thought he heard your light snores.

“Hmm, I’m awake.” You grumbled.

“Judging from your snoring, I don’t think you are.” He smiled, moving your hair out of your face.

Your face scrunched together, “I don’t snore.”

“You don’t? Not like this?” He jeered, making an obnoxious noise as he leaned his head back.

You pressed your face against his cheek, tilting his head to the side and lightly gripping at his hair. Laughs and giggles echoed the apartment as you fought like kids, Tom’s hand holding your wrist to push it away from his face until the doorbell rang.

“Finally! I’m starving.” You said, thinking the Chinese food was here.

You jumped up from the couch, walking into the kitchen to get plates. Tom chuckled as he headed toward the door, “Are you excited? I couldn’t tell.” He said sarcastically, grabbing the tip money off the kitchen counter.

The baby was asleep, her chubby cheeks were a rosy pink as well as her lips. She looked peaceful bundled in a soft, yellow blanket, but fear instilled within Tom. He wasn’t sure what to do, his mind starting to race and his heart beating faster. He took a few steps into the hall and looked both ways. It was ominous how no one was around, yet there was someone at the door a few seconds ago.

“Hello?” He shouted, his hands against each side of the doorframe.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What’s going on?” You nervously chuckled.

The moment your eyes met the baby at Tom’s feet, your mouth slightly gapped with a trailed gasp.

“This has to be a joke…” Tom trailed.

You kneeled, reaching for the note tucked in by her leg. It was on a torn piece of notebook paper with Tom’s name scribbled on the front in pencil.

“I can’t take care of her. Please understand. Maggie.” You read off, biting your bottom lip.

He continued to stare at Summer, her hair barely grown and her skin so pink. He assumed she had been born a few weeks ago, maybe months. All he could process was that there was a baby on his doorstep and he had no idea what to do.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

It took a few minutes to get Maggie calm, but they went in the hall to talk so Summer didn’t wake up. It was none of your business, but you still stood close to the door with your back against the wall as their muffled conversation faded in and out.

“How did you even find me?” Tom asked.

“None of your business.” She snapped, “I don’t know why this is  such a big deal.” Maggie chimed, crossing her arms.

Tom scoffed, “Because you’ve never made any effort to see her and suddenly, you want to come and pick her up and take her like she’s a puppy in an ad you found this morning.”

She smiled in spite, “Don’t talk to me like that-”

“How else am I supposed to act? You just told me she’s not mine!”

“Because she’s not! I had to dump her on someone!”

Every word that came out of Maggie’s mouth felt like a repeating stab in the heart. He couldn’t believe anything she said, convinced he hated her at that moment, but he somehow held his head high because he knew he’d fight for Summer no matter what Maggie could tell him.

“You’re not taking her. End of discussion.” Tom uttered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Maggie reached into the back pocket of her denim jeans, pulling out a folded piece of paper, and forcefully handed it to Tom. He stared at it for a few seconds, his hand lightly shaking as he slowly opened it by the ends.

“You still think I’m lying?” She scoffed as they both glared at the paper.

It was Summer’s birth certificate, dated on this day six years ago which made time seem so fast. His dry, tired eyes searched the paper until they locked to the father’s name box, a name he didn’t know and certainly wasn’t his.

“Either I call the police now or you give her… right here, right now,” Maggie growled with no hesitation.

Tom clenched his jaw, “You can’t-”

“I sure as hell can… and we both know you’re not dumb so, just give her to me.” She demanded as if Tom could process all of this while his world was crashing around him.

Tom licked his lips, sealing them to hide the pain that ached in his heart and spread throughout every nerve of his body. A single tear fell down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it with the back of his hand. Tom wanted to composed himself to stay strong, but he didn’t know he could crumble so easily from a small number of words.

“Can we do this tomorrow? I just wanna spend one more day with her.” He asked politely, the whites of his eyes now a light pink.

She stood there, not saying anything and her arms were still crossed.

“Please… Maggie.” Tom pleaded, feeling a bit pathetic.

Tom thought back to that conversation, replaying it in his head so much that he didn’t sleep all night. His constant shifting throughout the night didn’t let either of you get much sleep, but it’s not like you were either, laying there and wondering how much you could do. 

You were surprised he didn’t cry, shout or lash out in some random outburst of pure anger. It’s what you would’ve done, but you knew that Tom was trying to convince himself it wasn’t real. The denial would eat him alive, only because he believed Maggie was telling the truth and would take Summer no matter how hard he thought of a way to not let her.

“Tom?... Tom!” Your voice seemed miles away.

Tom glanced up to meet your eyes, letting out an embarrassed chuckle as his ears tinted pink. The sounds within the diner became audible to him, not remembering how he got lost in a daze. 

“In your own little world again?” You grinned, knowing that he was always one for thinking too much.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine.” Tom rubbed his hands down his face and straightened his back against the booth.

You sealed your lips, “You can talk to me about-”

“I’m fine, Y/N.” He retorted, nodding his head at you.

“Okay…” You trailed.

When his whole world was turned around the night before, you choose to not take his short attitude personally. All you could do was be there for him and you wanted to try your best. Seeing his hand rested on the table, you placed yours on top and reassured him, “It’s gonna be okay.”

He didn’t look at you, but you laid your head on against his shoulder. You caressed your thumb over his skin before grasping his hand and giving it a light squeeze. You brushed your cheek against his black hoodie, smelling the fresh lavender and nuzzling against his arm to remind him that you weren’t planning on leaving or letting him go.

Summer ran down the empty aisle, jumping into the booth and she laughed to herself, “I got this!”

You leaned up from Tom so he could see what she had in her small hand. Her casted arm rested on the table, signatures written all over it from her birthday party.

“It’s for you.” Summer smiled, putting the object in Tom’s hand.

He glanced at it, seeing a small plastic container with a yellow top sealing it. Inside was a cheap ring with the metallic paint partially chipped off and there was a blunt blue jewel in the middle.

“You sure you want to give it to me? It’s so pretty.” Tom managed to smile back at her, observing the ring.

“Yeah, Daddy. I promise.” She grinned, her tongue between her teeth as she flashed another smile that he thought resembled his.

Tom didn't want to believe that someone so full of spite and bitterness could be her mother, but he didn't have the heart to tell her. No matter how much he could hate Maggie for what she’s doing, Tom couldn’t ruin their possible relationship because she was her mother.

After the three of you finished your late breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon, you got up to use the restroom, but also gave time for Tom to say his last goodbyes to Summer alone. You rubbed Tom’s shoulder before you slipped out of the booth, keeping your eyes on him until you turned the corner.

Tom grinned at her, but he still wasn’t sure how to tell Summer about Maggie other than she was spending the night with her for a while, thinking she would take to it but instead a confused look painted on her round face.

“I thought Y/N was my mommy.” She admitted even though he had denied her multiple times that you were.

He couldn’t hide his smile, “I’ve told you she’s not. She’s my friend. My best friend.”

“Daddy, I don’t want to go. I wanna stay with you and Y/N.” Summer persisted, placing her blue crayon down. She always got a wrinkle between her eyebrows when they furrowed.

“It’ll be a few days,” Tom assured, but he didn’t know.

“But, I don’t wanna.” She whined, bouncing a bit in her seat.

As much as he wanted to, Tom couldn’t say no. He knew this was going to happen before he could know anything else was going behind his back with Maggie. Summer pouted her lips as her mood changed, leaning back with her hair pushed up against the booth.

Tom shifted over, “Come here.” He asked her, patting where you were sitting earlier.

Summer wiggled out of her side of the booth, touching her feet to the ground before quickly lifting herself into the seat and curling up next to Tom. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her hair, feeling an instant warmth even though she was so tiny. It was as if he blinked and was surprised to see her growing so fast. His sweet daughter went from a toddler with bright blue paint on her hands and knees and blossoming into a young girl with ideas that could reach the moon and back.

“It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna have so much fun. I promise.” He sniffled, his voice cracking a bit.

“Pinky promise?” She asked, lifting her casted arm to him.

His lip quivered, but Tom quickly smiled, “Promise… and we always keep our promises, right?”

She nodded, wrapping her tiny pinky around his then squeezing it tight, “Always, daddy.”

Tom remembered when she was only able to wrap her whole hand around that same finger, wondering where the time went. He wanted to go back to when she barely had hair on her head or when he had to follow her around the room when she started to crawl, as she grabbed at stray cords or tried to get under the couch. 

“You have all your stuff?” Tom asked her.

“Mhmm, got my colors and favorite books.” Summer nodded, grabbing a piece of bacon off Tom’s place, “Do you think she’ll read them in the voices? Like you and Y/N do?”

Tom sealed his lips, “Maybe if you ask her nicely.” He cracked a smile, moving Summer’s hair out of her face.

As you walked up to the booth, Tom lifted his head and mouthed to you that he was okay. In the bathroom, you had to compose yourself before Maggie showed up. No excuse could make this situation better and all you could do was be patient and be there for Tom. While that was easier to think of, you knew as soon as you made contact with her bright green eyes, all you wanted to do was yell and protest that she doesn’t deserve to feel good about this.

“What did I miss? Anything interesting?” You joked, trying to keep the mood light.

“Daddy said I’m gonna have a lot of fun this weekend.” Summer mentioned, smiling at you with her crooked smile.

You gulped, your throat feeling dry, “Yeah, lots of fun.” You forced a grin.

The low music over the speakers filled the silence, not knowing what to say about this, especially in front of Summer. Tom kept his arm wrapped around his shoulder, but he stared out of the window with his hand on his chin, slightly covering his mouth. He didn’t want to cry, he was trying, but the more Tom thought about how there was a chance he couldn’t get Summer back, the more he dug deep to find a way to stop it.

“Hi, Tom.”

He quickly turned his head, seeing Maggie standing in front of the booth. She wore a sleek leather jacket with a maroon shirt underneath and it intimidated Summer. She furrowed her faint eyebrows, but Tom pulled back his arm around her.

“Hey, Maggie.” He didn’t look in her eyes.

She didn’t pay you any mind, choosing to ignore that you were sitting right there, but it’s not like you wanted her to give you any attention.

Summer scooted out of the booth along with Tom, both of them standing across from Maggie. There’s no doubting it was an awkward situation, but nevertheless, Tom continued to stay mature about it. He grabbed Summer’s backpack off the ground, helping her put both her arms through the straps.

“Okay, kid. I’ll see you in a few days.” Tom chuckled with his hands on Summer’s shoulders.

“Promise?” She asked, her big eyes so glossy.

He immediately clenched his jaw, knowing lying to her would hurt like a stab to his heart, but maybe it was for the better right now. There were many ways he could reply that didn’t sound like the lie it was yet he couldn’t come up with anything except, “Promise.” because he knew he would try to keep it as much as he could from where he stood.

Summer wrapped her arms around his legs as tight as she could, “I love you, daddy.” She mumbled.

“I love you too. Always.” He said before kissing the top of her head.

She looked over her shoulder at you sitting in the booth, not forgetting to say goodbye to you too. Summer walked up and got on her knees in the booth, feeling them sink into the cushion. Her small arms wrapped around you and you giggled, giving her a tight squeeze back.

“Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Summer.” You grinned, giving her a last glance.

She shimmed once more and stood in front of Maggie, still standing there with her arms crossed and one of her eyebrows arched.

“Let’s get going,” Maggie said, her happy tone sounding forced.

Without caring to hold Summer’s hand, Maggie began to walk away, but Summer stood still. Her little heart was racing, not sure what to do even though she was told to go with this strange woman who was supposedly her mom.

Tom glanced at Summer, his lips going to the side as he watched tears well up in her eyes. She sniffled, looking down at her feet and her body felt frozen. It was a new feeling to her, not knowing why she was suddenly so scared. It reminded Tom of her first day of kindergarten. She hid behind his leg while they stood in the hallway and all the kids slowly filled the room. He tried to nudge her to meet a new friend, maybe talk about her hobbies, but she was gripping on his jeans from how scared she was.

Just like he did on her first day of school, Tom kneeled on one knee in front of her. He angled his head to look into her eyes, trying to see her full face. He tilted her chin up and wiped her tears with his thumb, catching them as they ran down more.

“Hey, you remember when we saw the penguins at the zoo?” He grinned.

She nodded, her lip pouted.

“And you remember what the zookeeper said? That penguins always find each other, no matter where they are or how far they are... they’ll always find their way back to the colony… and just like penguins, we always find our way home too.” Tom explained, fixing the end of her jacket.

“Really, daddy?”

“Of course. You’re gonna have to keep your head up for a few days though.” He gulped, a small smirk on his lips.

Summer leaned in, wrapping her arms around Tom’s neck again and he coiled her arm around her, squeezing her arm tight. He left a quick kiss on her temple and Tom slowly stood up, trying to pull himself away so it didn’t become harder to leave her.

Maggie stood a few feet away, a bit of disappointment in her eyes. She thought this was going to be the easy part of this process, but it proved harder now that she could visibly see the bond Summer and Tom had created. You watched her lips pin together, not knowing what to do but stand there until they were done talking.

“I love you.” Summer said to Tom again.

“Love you more, kid.” He chuckled, his voice breaking from holding back his tears, “Remember to keep your cast dry. Okay?”

She slipped away from his arms and Tom’s heartfelt heavier the more he said his goodbyes. Summer held her head high and walked up to Maggie, lifting her hand up for her to hold. Maggie hesitantly reached for it, but she glanced at Tom for some kind of permission to. Tom sealed his lips and you slid out of the booth, standing behind him as you watched the two of them walk outside the diner.

“She’ll be back soon.” You whispered, rubbing his tense shoulder.

“Yeah…” He trailed, forcing a grin for you. Tom knew he didn’t have to fake his emotions for you, but right now, he didn’t want to admit he was torn apart inside.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The days didn’t pass by as quickly as Tom hoped. He didn’t realize how fast work was when he had Summer to come home to. It was hard for him to get out of bed, make meals for himself or concentrate on anything he was doing. Luckily, you were there for him or, at least, tried to be. You weren’t sure what would happen to your friendship after your sudden kiss, but you felt like it was inappropriate to bring up with what happened after it. Even though the status of your possible relationship was unknown and your feelings were still strong, you were there for Tom no matter what.

In the morning, you stirred in the sheets and felt the soft fabric of the pillow against your cheek. As you reached your arm over on Tom’s side of the bed, your hand brushed over the cotton linens which made you slowly open your eyes. The duvet was folded over and his pillow was propped up, showing you he had been up for a while before he got up. You let out a long yawn, stretching your arms and legs and feeling the cold air against your skin.

You walked around the bed, grabbing the blanket at the end of it and wrapping it over your shoulders before leaving the bedroom. When you got to the end of the hallway, you saw Tom sitting on the couch with a box in his lap and a few pictures scattered on the cushion. Your lips went to the side as you approached him, trying to be quiet but the sound of the floor creaking made Tom look over his shoulder.

“Morning.” You grinned, standing behind the couch.

You ran your hands over his hair, playing with it before you looked at the pictures. They were of Summer since she was a baby, most of them were birthday pictures or other special events, like when she lost her first tooth or the first time she stood up. Tom cherished the memories, hoping they would make him happy, but all they did was remind him how he felt like a failure.

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?” Tom asked, his voice groggy and deep.

“Fine, and you?” You replied as you trailed your hand from his hair, walking over to the kitchen.

“Good.” He lied, running his thumb against his left eye before grabbing another picture.

It was Summer’s first Halloween and he dressed her up in the homemade lion costume you worked so hard on. He half-smiled thinking about when you drew in a nose with black paint and she scrunched her face, the bristles of the brush tickling before Summer sneezed. Before you could warn her, she wiped her nose with her hand and you and Tom couldn’t help but laugh. With Halloween just around the corner, his smile fell wondering if they would have another one together.

“Here you go. Dark and two sugars.” You softly said, handing him a cup of coffee, just the way he liked it.

“Thank you.” He weakly smiled, taking a short sip.

“How are you feeling?” You asked.

Tom placed his cup of coffee on the table and collected the pictures so you could sit beside him.

“Better. I got a little more sleep.” He muttered and set the box of pictures on the floor.

You pulled off the fuzzy blanket on the arm of the couch before you sat down, laying it over your and Tom’s lap. Your crisscrossed your legs, holding your mug in your lap while Tom put his free arm around your shoulders. When you turned your head to Tom, he didn’t have the same natural glow to him. 

He was struggling to find some kind of closure, but the lack of communication with Maggie made it hard for him to not overthink. There were no calls and rarely a text. Tom was going crazy, replaying the last moments with Summer in his head.

“Maybe you can skip work today.” You suggested, rubbing the top of his leg.

Tom nodded, “I can’t. I need the tips. Hopefully, I can get Halloween night. I’ll be able to cover child support for the month.” He rubbed the back of his neck, closing his eyes as he tilted his head toward the ceiling.

Your lips went to the side, “Did Maggie say when you’d see Summer?”

He sighed, “No. I haven’t heard anything either.”

“That can’t be legal.”

“Summer’s not mine, Y/N. I don’t get to see her when I want.” Tom retorted as if he was defending her.

“You know that’s not true. It doesn’t matter if she’s your blood, you gave her the best life. Who knows? Maggie probably just forged it. People do it all the time. Why would she just come back when you slept together one time?” You acknowledged, not trusting her for a second.

“I don’t want to get into it.” He replied, taking another sip of coffee.

“Then when are you? Because I know you love that kid more than anything else in the world.” You protested, still facing him.

Tom finally looked your way, meeting your eyes, but he didn’t want to say anything. You didn’t expect a response because you knew that he did love her and he was going to find a way to get her back, no matter how long it took. You tilted your head at him, cracking a smile and tilting his chin up. The warmth that came from your comfort helped him see the brighter side in this, motivating him to see that this wouldn’t last forever.

“You know you’re the best, right?” Tom grinned.

You reached your hand up, intertwining yours with his that was hanging off your shoulder, “I try.” You joked, both of you sharing a light laugh.

You ran your fingers through Tom’s hair, trying to fix it, but he was growing it long as he did in high school. Tom let out a low chuckle, feeling your hand trail to cup his cheek and you rubbed your thumb over his cheek and the faint freckles painted across his soft skin.

While the past few days had been confusing, Tom knew that he wanted to be with you, but he didn’t want to stir you in his drama. As much as you had been there for the past six years, he realized that Summer was his responsibility, and to bring you into a triangle with him and Maggie didn’t seem fair. It’s not because he wanted to push you away for his selfish reasons, but because he wanted to protect you from whatever was going to happen from this point. You were still best friends and would always be, but it didn’t feel like enough after finally kissing each other and not wanting to let go.

As you pulled your hand back, you glanced down and see some of the pictures in the box. You quickly lean down, placing it on your lap and you picked through the various photos before there was one that brought back memories.

“I can’t believe you have this.” You chuckled, holding the photo close to your face.

Tom turned his head toward it, not knowing he had his eyes glued to you, and he instantly smiled.

“Ah, when I was your knight in shining armor.” He beamed at the picture of you with your broken arm and he stood next to you wearing his favorite baseball jersey.

“You mean when you carried my books for me and helped me put on my backpack, oh yeah, I remember.” You grinned, reminiscing to when the world wasn’t so complicated.

Tom smiled, “Don’t act like you didn’t love it.” He rubbed your shoulder, both of you chuckling at the memory. You handed him the picture, but he slowly was reminded of Summer and her recent accident.

“Shit..” He trailed, “I hope she’s kept her cast dry. I should call.” Tom said, unwrapping his arm from your shoulders and you watched him frantically looking for his phone around the apartment.

“Tom!”

“Huh?” He asked, lifting some papers on his counter.

You lifted his phone, his screen cracked, in your hand and grinned, “Looking for something?”

A relieved smile painted on his face as he walked over, taking the phone and he kissed a light kiss against the top of your head, “What would I do without you?”

It was nice to see him turning back to his old self, but you knew that his happiness was at the risk of being at Maggie’s beck and call. Even though you weren’t Summer’s mom, you wanted to have a say where she ends up too. 

You half-smiled, watching him walk down the hall to his bedroom. You turned toward the box of pictures, rummaging through enough to get an idea of how to organize them.

Tom slowly paced across his room as the phone rang, sweat on his palms that he brushed on the back of his jeans. He leaned his head toward the ceiling and tried not to overthink what he could say if he went straight to voicemail.

“Hello?” Maggie retorted, running her fingers through the crown of her hair.

“Hey. I just wanted to make sure things were okay.” Tom trailed as he sat on the edge of his bed.

“Fine, it’s fine.” She lied, searching through her laundry basket.

Tom furrowed his eyebrows, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, things are fine! I’m just trying to find this stupid sweater.” She grunted, pushing through all the folded clothes.

“What sweater?”

“Some yellow sweater with a heart on that she won’t stop complaining about.”

Summer was sitting on the couch, insisting she wanted to watch her favorite cartoons after breakfast. Maggie didn’t want to deal with the complaining and poking so it was relieving to keep her distracted instead of having to keep Summer entertained while she tried to work from home.

“Oh, I forgot to put it in there. Shit.” Tom cursed, quickly getting up.

He walked to Summer’s room, knowing the exact drawer he remembered placing it in and not surprised that it was there. Tom lifted the sweater, the sleeves unfolding, and seeing how worn it was from the ripped tag. He brought it up to his face, inhaling the lingering smell of watermelon and kiwi from her shampoo.

“Yeah, I got it. It’s here.” He told her, the phone between his ear and shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll come over and get it.” Maggie huffed.

“No, no! I can go over there. I have to go to work later so I can come by.” Tom offered, glaring at the small sweater in his hand.

“Depends, are you going to bring… Y/N?” She crossed her arms as she leaned against the washing machine, “Because I don’t think she’s been a good influence.”

Tom’s eyebrows arched, “Excuse me?”

“Summer says “Y/N lets me do this or Y/N and I do this” and I don’t think it’s good considering she’s not her mom. She shouldn’t have such big control over her.” Maggie said loud enough for Summer to hear from the couch.

“You weren’t there for her and she was so, I’m sorry if she acts like her mom more than you.” Tom chimed.

Maggie clenched her jaw, “Just drop it off. Okay?”

“Sure. I’ll be over around three.”

She hung up abruptly and Tom was left upset from not being able to talk to Summer. He hated how he didn’t have any sense of control, to think that this could be the way things are until she goes off to college. Out of anger, Tom threw his phone across the room that made a loud thud against the wall. His blood boiled and tears filled his eyes, bringing the sweater back to his face and trying to let the lingering scent keep him calm.

You stood in the hall across from the door and it was close enough to hear the whole conversation. Every word made your heart drop, not knowing what you could do for him. You hated eavesdropping, but it was getting harder to get the truth from Tom as the days went by. He was falling apart and it was getting too painful to slowly watch.

“Tom?” You softly asked, knocking on the door.

He left the sweater on the bed, wiping his eyes with the end of his t-shirt before grabbing his phone off the floor. To his relief, the already cracked screen didn’t have any new damage. Tom wiped the screen against his pants before opening the door to meet your gaze.

“Sorry about that. I just got frustrated.” He avoided looking in your eyes.

“It’s okay.” You tell him, not needing any assurance. All you did was wrap your arms around him and tell him that it would all be okay, even if you didn’t really know if it would be.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The half-hour drive to Maggie’s apartment felt like hours to Tom, his head filled with what he was going to say to her or how he was going to handle whatever she told him. He bit on his nails on his left hand while the other gripped the top of the steering wheel tight. Right when he thought of the things he could say, his anxiety made him forget all of the rational thoughts.

As he parked in a parallel spot, Tom got out of the car with the sweater in one hand with a duffle in the other. He carefully crossed the street and entered the complex, walking up the stairs to the fourth level. When he entered through the exit door, he saw the floors were polished and the lighting was bright since there were no windows. It all came off as luxurious and bare, nothing but one or two paintings on the wall.

He knocked a few times under the plastic golden numbers, his eyes searching around until he heard the locks click. The door flew open and Maggie popped her head out, her makeup a few shades darker than last time.

“Hey,” Tom mumbled.

“Hey… you brought it?” She asked quickly, opening the door more.

Tom couldn’t help looking past her, seeing if Summer was in there.

“Yeah. Here.” Tom huffed, handing her the sweater, “And I brought some other stuff she might want.” He gave her the duffle too, weighing down in her hand when he passed it.

“Jesus, what’s in this? She’s not going off to college.”

“A few books, shirts, socks, a few Mad Libs.” He said what was off the top of his head, shoving his hands in his front pockets.

“Well thanks, it should keep her busy.” Maggie quickly grinned, but before she could shut the door, Tom took a step forward.

“Can I see her? Just for a few minutes before I go to work.” Tom asked, even though he didn’t feel the need to.

She sighed, “I really have to go, Tom.”

Before Tom could say another word, Summer shouted from behind Maggie, “Daddy!”

Summer pushed past Maggie, holding out her arms and Tom immediately wrapped his around her. He spun her around with her feet off the ground. He could cry as he held her tighter, kissing the top of her hair and she giggled, “I missed you!”

He put her back on her feet, “I missed you too, kid. How’s the cast?” Tom smiled.

She lifted it up, “Good, I got more names on it.”

“Oh, yeah? Aren’t you miss popular.” Tom chuckled, watching her rotate the cast.

“Are we going home?” Summer quickly asked.

Tom sealed his lips, “Ah, not… yet.”

Summer’s face shifted, “But, I wanna go home.”

“Not yet, baby.” Tom knew it wasn’t in his control right now.

“But, I wanna go home now…” She protested, a dimple between her furrowed eyebrows.

It was the first time he heard true sorrow in her light voice. A kid always had their emotional fits, but Tom taught her that it was okay to talk to her and didn’t have to hold anything back. There was never a moment of questioning her temper tantrums or how she behaved, but he couldn’t wrap his head around this whole incident. He didn’t know how to answer her questions and help her and it was killing him to feel like he was doing nothing yet also trying to do everything he could.

“Summer, I promise you’ll be home soon, okay?” He promised, running his hand over her soft hair.

“Okay.” She pouted.

Quickly turning away, Summer fled back into the apartment and didn’t give Tom another look. He chewed the inside of his cheek and Maggie put her hand on your hip, not knowing what else to say.

“Well, thanks.” She huffed.

“When can I see her again?” Tom asked, embarrassed from how desperate he came off.

She nodded, “I don’t know...”

Tom clenched his jaw, “I raised her, I don’t understand how you can come back and just take her away like you suddenly want to be a great mother. Do you want something else from me other than child support? Huh? What is it, Maggie?” He asked, frustrated and tired of biting his tongue.

Maggie looked over her shoulder at Summer, meeting her blatant glare, so Maggie stepped into the hall to have some privacy. Tom took a few steps away from her, putting his back against the wall while she stood on her side.

“I don’t want to argue with you, Tom. I really don’t-”

“Then why are you doing this?” He cut her off.

She nodded, “I’m uncomfortable with it all.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re not Summer’s dad!” Maggie stated, “Okay? Do you know how confusing that is gonna be to her? That the guy who has raised her for six years isn’t even her dad!”

Tom was in disbelief, his throat dry and thinking as if he got the wind out of him.

“I want to take a DNA test.”

Maggie couldn’t help but chuckle, “You’re not her dad.”

“I don’t care, I’m taking a test. If I’m the father, she gets to stay with me.”

“Well, she’s not so, good luck with that plan.” She boldly told Tom, watching him walk away from the conversation.

Adrenaline fueled him, leaving the building with the last dignity he felt like he had. The doubt rapidly sunk in from Maggie’s words and for the first time, Tom started to believe that she was right. He may have wasted six years of his life, not knowing how he could have fallen for it all.

After slamming the car door, Tom huffed and wiped his hands down his face. He was annoyed at the stress he held back, thinking he had his emotions under control when everything was falling apart. A million voices spoke throughout his conscience all at once and tried to guide him, too overwhelming to maintain his cool he had kept for so long. Tom clenched his fist and quickly jabbed the steering wheel, pain coursing from his blistered knuckles.

The night shift was a wreck and Tom couldn’t gain his confidence back. He messed up drink orders that infuriated his tipsy customers, dropped a glass from how shaky his hands were, and overall couldn’t clear his mind from his argument earlier with Maggie. Nevertheless, Tom pushed through the sloppy job he did but had to flee to the back to get some air from the inebriated crowd.

With a bottle of beer in one hand, he slipped away when one of his co-workers came in. Tom exited to the back alley, the cold breeze hitting his face and the wind slapping his back when the door closed behind him. As he brought the bottle to his lips, Tom took breaths through his nose as he downed the bitter ale. His eyes burned from the icy carbonation, pulling it away after drinking most of it. He tossed the glass bottle into the dumpster across from him, running his hands through his hair as he paced around the dead end.

“Shit!” He growled, his voice echoing.

A few tears trailed down his cheek and he quickly wiped them with the back of his hand. Tom got himself together, but before he went back inside to end his shift, his phone vibrated in his front pocket. He was relieved to see your name headlining a picture of the two of you.

“Hey, babe.” Tom sniffled.

You were taken back by the pet name, “Babe?”

He smiled, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. I’m tired.” He pinched his nose bridge.

“No, no, I wasn’t sure if we were using “babe” or any other grossly cute nicknames.” You jeered, your sweet giggle comforting him.

“It’s just been a weird day.” He pressed his back against the brick wall.

“Things didn’t go well with Maggie?” You sighed, laying down on the couch.

Tom nodded, “Not exactly. But, I’m trying to figure it out.”

Your lips went to the side, not surprised Tom said it because he always liked to tackle everything by himself. There was no need to meddle, but you knew he would come around when he wanted to.

“Hey, I know it’s hard now, but… You’re gonna get her back.” You started, hoping it sounded comforting.

Tom remembered when you said he’d never lose her. He already doubted himself, but he didn’t want to have a lack of uncertainty with you, a person he trusted more than anyone.

“Tom?” You asked, only hearing the noises of passing cars in the background.

“Yeah, babe, I’m here.” Tom shook his head, running his hand down his face.

His voice cracked from the brokenness, causing your heart to flutter. You wanted to fix this all, and you would if you could, but it was equally as frustrating for you to keep your calm. You knew that if you exploded with rage and anger, Tom would follow the same path of destruction and it’s the last thing you both needed to do.

“Okay… are you coming back soon?”

“Yeah, I’m almost off my shift. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

“Drive safe, please.” You tilted your head, pulling your legs to your chest.

“Always.” He smiled before hanging up.

Tom went back inside to finish his shift, hoping to get a few tips from his charm. He snuck a few shots of Crown and gin in between his orders, looking around to make sure none of his co-workers saw. It was out of his character to drink on the job knowing it could get him fired on the spot, but Tom didn’t care. He wanted the pain inside to numb away with warm liquor until he was sick.

Making the poor decision of driving home, Tom took his time to get back. He rubbed his eyes a few times from the haze fogging his vision, but he slowly pulled into his usual parking spot. At first, he forgot to put on the parking gear, the car rolling forward before he stepped on the brake. A drunk chuckle left his lips as he parked, pulling the keys out and he leaned on the car to maintain his balance.

You fell asleep on the couch waiting for him only to flinch from the door slamming. As you put your weight on your arms, Tom walked in with a sway to his walk.

“Hey, I was starting to worry.” You groaned, stretching as you stood up from the couch.

“Sorry, I was… trying to get home and there was… it was fine.” He slurred, a faint smile on his face.

You furrowed your eyebrows, walking up to him and instantly smelling the alcohol on his breath.

“You drove home drunk?”

“I’m here in one piece, aren’t I?” He breezed past you, kicking his shoes off by the kitchen island then heading to the bedroom.

“You could have gotten killed.” You hissed.

You crossed your arms as you followed him, standing in the door frame. Tom struggled to unbutton his shirt, not able to grip them with his hazy vision. 

“I’m here, okay? I’m fine and I just need to sleep.” Tom groaned, the alcohol fueling his irritation.

You didn’t want to pick a fight, not this late and not with everything else going on, so you digressed and decided to leave it till the morning.

As he lazily pulled apart his button-up, he threw it to the side and left him in his basic white tee. You walked around to the shared bathroom and cupped some lukewarm water in your hands to splash on your face. You could hear Tom unbuckle his pants and he threw them to the floor, missing the hamper by a long shot.

You walked to your side of the bed, glancing at him laying down with his bloodshot eyes still open.

“Tom, you can’t do this.”

“I know. I know, but this… I fucking can’t think about anything else.” He admitted.

You sat up on the bed with your head against your pillow, pulling the duvet over your legs. You ran your hand over his messy, brown curls, weaving your fingers through it and pushing it back. His eyes met yours as you continued to play with his hair.

“From how long we’ve been friends, I know you have always put the weight of the world on your shoulders.” You spoke calmly, your tone soft and sweet like honey, “But, you can’t keep doing this to yourself...”

He gulped, not knowing how to let go of this anger he internalized.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” His voice was broken.

“You need to take your time, baby.” You whispered, running your hand through his hair again.

Tom gently held your hand that was resting on your stomach, brought it to his face, and kissed the top of it a few times. You grinned, watching him bring your intertwined hands to his chest. He kept his eye contact with you, his free hand tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I don’t know how I’d stay sane without you.” He revealed, his eyes glossy.

You half-smiled, “You’d function, just not as properly.” You jeered, trying to make him laugh.

“Oh, always with the jokes.” Tom chuckled, tickling up your side and you began to kick around, letting out infectious belly laughs.

“I can’t help it! You’re fun to mess with.” You beamed.

You shifted down to be face to face with him, lying next to him and forgetting about the world for a few minutes. Tom was never big on affection with who we dated, struggling to open himself up with people he felt were temporary. Little did you know that he was wrapped around your finger since the day you fell off the jungle gym.

“I just want you to be happy.” You sighed.

He nodded, “I am happy. I promise.”

You brushed your nose against his, your head angled from the side. Tom’s light buzz lingered, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to pull you closer to him under the warm, cotton sheets. Your head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and running your hand down his abdomen. As you brought his hand toward you, but you furrowed your eyebrows at the light red and purple bruising across his knuckles.

“What’s this from?” You asked, grazing your finger over his skin.

Tom raised his eyebrows, “Uh, I don’t know.” He lied.

You pouted, “You should ice it tomorrow. It looks kind of bad.”

“Yeah…” Tom trailed, biting the inside of his cheek.

You pressed light kisses against the bruises, “Gotta be more careful, babe.”

His brown eyes brightened, a small smile on his lips before he scattered some kisses against your temple, your cheek pressing against his shoulder.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

When you two went to the clinic to get the DNA test, Tom couldn’t sit still the whole time. From the waiting room until he sat on top of the doctor’s table, he pulled at his fingers or tapped his leg which made you place your hands on him to get him to stop. You gave him words of encouragement, trying to support him through the lengthy process, especially when he saw the needle thread into his dark blue veins.

“I thought it was just gonna be a cheek swab.” He chuckled, discomfort in his chuckle.

“Some places do that, but a blood test is more accurate.” The nurse tried to calm him, her tone soft.

“How accurate?” He hissed at the sudden pinch.

Her lips went to the side, “Above ninety percent.”

His head was turned to the cabinets, fixating on the bold font of one of the flyers. You sat in the black, plastic chair next to the counter, your legs crossed and peering up at Tom. His face scrunched together for a split second, visibly seeing that he still hated needles after all these years.

“What?” He asked.

You nodded, “Nothing. You’re just making a cute face.” You jeered, placing your hand on your cheek with your elbow on the arm of the chair.

“Just reminds me of high school blood drives… Nurse Jenna always poking my vein a thousand times.” He huffed.

“It’s because you squirmed so much, like you are now.” You teased.

He rolled his eyes with a faint smile, looking down at his feet before the nurse pulled the needle away and covered it with a ball of cotton. Tom held it there for a few seconds until she slowly wrapped the light blue bandage the perfect tightness around his arm.

“You should get the results back in four to five days. We’ll let you know right away, Mr. Holland.”

“Thank you so much.” Tom grinned at her.

After the nurse walked out with the blood sample and her file, you stood up, slinging your purse strap on your shoulder. Tom stepped down from the table, pulling down his flannel sleeve to cover the bandage.

“You were so brave. Are you upset she didn’t give you a lollipop?” You joked.

“Don’t worry too much, but I think I’ll live.” He jeered back, leaning in to kiss your forehead.

You wrapped your arm around his back, giving him a light hug before you two left to check out then headed back to his apartment. On the ride home, Tom was fairly quiet with the low music from the speakers filling the car. There wasn’t anything you needed to say, but being there for each other was enough comfort. With the windows rolled down halfway, the fresh air weaved through your hair and your fingers were loosely wrapped around the top of the steering wheel.

Tom looked out the window, watching the scenes you passed by, but his head was in a different place. His elbow rested against the armrest of the door, unconsciously biting his nail and shaking his leg. You cautiously put your hand on top of his, the one settled on his leg, intertwining your fingers together without looking at him.

It was still hard getting used to the quietness, not only from you but within Tom’s life.

Tom missed Summer being at the apartment, looking forward to putting up the crayon drawings she worked on at breakfast or insisting they go to the park on weekends. But, since she hadn’t been around, it gave more time for you and Tom to be alone, at least back to how you were six years ago. For the most part, it was nice to dance in the middle of the living room, spinning each other around and sharing takeout at the coffee table while watching a tooth-rotting, romance movie. Just making it more obvious that Summer changed his life, even in the smallest things she did.

The growth of your relationship was important, but most of it was centered around Summer. It didn’t mean you couldn’t both carry a conversation without her, just that most of the things you did together were for her. Endless trips to the park, going to the zoo, taking her to girl scouts, or even running around the house playing hide and seek if it was a rainy day. Her giggles filled the apartment, endless amounts of laughter from the three of you and the memories you created. It was the one thing that motivated Tom to fight for her, just to make more and more memories and have her back in his arms for good. 

As the grueling days passed, it was closer to Halloween night and Tom was trying to get as many shifts as he could. Not only was it one of their busiest times, but he also got generous tips. Because the holiday was during a school day, Tom’s apartment held an event for some kids to come by and trick-or-treat early.

It would be Tom’s first holiday without Summer there, but the results would come any time now. It’s all that consumed his mind, on top of him working on her Halloween costume without her. She insisted she wanted to be Wonder Woman and you and Tom never used store-bought costumes, not even when she was a baby and you made a pumpkin costume out of orange felts and stitching.

“Hey! You’re gonna be late for work.” You said, running your hands through Tom’s curls when you passed by him sitting at the table.

Tom snapped out of his trance, shaking his head and rubbing his tired eyes with the palms of his hands. Today marked the day Tom should have gotten his DNA test back, checking his phone and email since he woke up before dawn.

“Are you staying late? I know Halloween week is probably like the jackpot for you guys.” You grinned, grabbing a mixed bag of candy from on top of the fridge and a bowl from the cabinet.

“Yeah, if you thought the tips from single moms paid up, wait until you get an open tab from a fratboy.” Tom chuckled as he got up, stretching his back and he brushed down his wrinkled, navy button-down.

“Well, I’m sure they’re just flirting with you too. You’re so damn charming with those brown eyes and smile.” You winked at him, shifting the big bowl of sweets with both your hands.

He walked behind you, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, “Hmm, well there’s enough of me to go around.” Tom jeered.

Tom checked his phone once again, scrolling through his email and call history, seeing him looking down at it from the corner of your eye.

“Hey, babe, you need to get going.” You reminded him, placing the bowl of candy on the small table next to the door. You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around him from behind and planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, dear.” Tom faintly smiled, nudging his head against yours before you untangled from him.

He shoved his phone in his back pocket, grabbing his denim jacket off the back of the kitchen chair. Tom told you he’d call you on his way home and to have fun, but felt some relief from not being around the kids. He’d barely spoken to Maggie since their argument last week, only getting updates on Summer and her behavior. Tom never knew someone could find the one nerve that could be pinched in any instance, making him incredibly annoyed with whatever he was doing.

The bar was getting packed as Tom walked past the crowd in the front, everyone mingling at the high-rise tables in their various costumes. There was a discount if you wore a costume, usually helping business with more drinks for lower prices, but that meant the night would feel longer with an endless amount of orders piling on top of each other with little patience from a drunken mob.

Rolling his sleeves up to his elbows, Tom made sure their inventory was stocked as he breezed by his co-workers. He wasn’t close enough to them to tell anyone want he was dealing with, but he figured it was better not to talk about it so it never came up during a shift.

Multicolored lights flashed and beamed through the moving mass of people, but enough of the warm light above the bar helped guide Tom when he was scrambling to attend to whoever he could. It took his mind off his stress, too worried about not getting drinks right when it was easy to with how hectic it was. Drink after drink, he collected a bill and shoved it in the shared tip jar behind them, hoping they made enough so everyone could walk with sore feet, but be satisfied with their hard work.

As the night grew longer, it became rowdier and it meant that it was harder to get people out so new ones could come in. While Tom talked to one of his regulars down at one side, an argument between two strangers began to ensue toward the middle. Tom looked over his shoulder while leaning on the bar, glaring at the two boys whose voices howled over the music.

“I think you should get the fuck out of my face!” One yelled, he had dirty blonde hair and a scratch by his lip.

“Chill out, what the fuck!” The other retorted and his piercing blue eyes were bright enough for Tom to see from where he stood.

“Hey, give me one second.” Tom told the man he was talking to, quickly pacing over toward the angry exchange, “Hey, knock it off.” He said with an assertive, deep tone.

They ignored Tom, continuing to argue before one threw a punch deep into the other’s face. It knocked the man on the floor, making Tom jump over the bar to try to break up the fight. While he defended himself from the guy who punched first, the other drunken man pulled Tom down by the shoulders. In his inebriated fury, he jabbed Tom in the stomach, hurting his rib which made Tom hold on his hands there.

“Hey man, get off me!” Tom gritted his teeth, grabbing the guy’s wrist to push him back down to the floor.

Even though Tom was strong enough to do so, the other nameless man tried to help Tom, but Tom was soon met with a punch to the eye, near the nose bridge. The guy was twice as large as him, able to put his weight on Tom as he threw constant punches to his face and jaw. Tom’s eyes teared up, mixing with the blood from his nose before the guy was pulled off him.

Tom quickly got on his feet, holding on to the bar, but he was met with more arguing between the two strangers he never should have intervened between, to begin with. He rubbed the back of his head, hoping he didn’t have a concussion with the throbbing under his skin. Before Tom could recover from what happened, the guy approached him again, stumbling until Tom threw a punch back.

He didn’t know what came over him, but the stress of everything instantly came out with his rush of adrenaline. More people from the crowd tried to step in, even one of Tom’s co-workers, but it ended with two police officers settling both of them. Tom tasted the blood on his lips, spitting it on the dirty floor as his heads were pulled behind his back.

“Calm down!” The officer pleaded with Tom, taking him outside of the bar.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The sounds of office phones ringing and the news playing lowly were all you could concentrate on. The police station was the last place you thought of being at a time like this, your heart racing since you picked up the phone and told what had happened with Tom. You bounced your leg, the other crossed on top of it and moving your ankle to find anything to make time go faster.

“Y/N L/N.”

You whipped your head, pushing off the chair to get up and speed walk to the front.

“Y-Yes, that’s me.” You said, putting your hands on top of the desk.

“He’s being released now.” The officer spoke with a monotone voice.

You nodded, stepping away from the desk before a short buzz echoed the hall. Tom slowly walked up, his hands behind his back before the officer escorting him released the handcuffs.

“Keep your head up, kid.” The tall officer told him before walking back to the cells.

Tom rubbed his reddened wrists, his face and body in pain from the beating he went through. When you saw his face, you almost couldn’t believe it was him. Red and purple bruises faded on his light skin near his right eye and trailing his sharp jaw. His nose bridge looked displaced and dry blood under his nose, the rest on the collar of his dark shirt. You almost couldn’t stare because of the bright redness surrounding his right eye from popping a vessel. 

“Babe…” You choked, gently holding his face.

“I’m okay. I promise.” Tom gulped, his hands settling on your hips, “Let’s just go home.” He croaked.

“Not before we go to the emergency room. Your eye looks awful.” You say, gently moving his head to take a better look at it.

He nodded, “I just wanna go home, please.”

“No, we can’t, you’re hurt--”

“Y/N, I wanna go home.” He snapped.

You clenched your jaw at his stubbornness, “Fine.”

Once you were back to the apartment, the first thing Tom wanted to do was take a shower. He sat on top of the toilet seat, unbuttoning his button-down, but winced at the soreness in his arms when trying to take his not-so-white, t-shirt off. As he continued to try to get his arms higher, Tom couldn’t push himself to do it. He leaned over in frustration, a grunt passing his lips before you walked into the door frame.

“Let me help you.” You softly said, taking a few steps toward him.

Tom didn’t have the energy to fight back so, he leaned back to sitting up straight and lifted his arms as high as he couldn’t which wasn’t much. You grabbed the ends of his t-shirt, peeling it off him and tossing it in the hamper behind you.

You kneeled in front of him, “You got it?”

“Yeah, thanks, baby.” He grunted, holding in his pain.

You nodded, placing your hands on his face and caressing your thumb over his cut cheek. A tear trailed from your waterline, hurt to see him in the state he was. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, giving a light kiss. You ran your hand through the nape of his curls before getting back up and putting your hand on the doorknob.

“Just yell if you need me.”

He just nodded in response, wincing as he stood up and you closed the door.

You let out a deep sigh as you walked back to the kitchen, cleaning up the pots and pans you had forgotten to wash from yesterday. It was something to do while Tom was showering, not wanting to think that this wouldn’t have happened if Maggie didn’t come back into his life.

Tom’s phone buzzed on the counter, making you glance at it. The cracked screen lit up but there were a few bloody fingerprints covered on the glass. You picked it up and wet a rag, wiping off any of the dirt and blood from it but you saw an email that was sent to him a few hours ago. You didn’t want to put your nose into his business, but it could have been from the clinic.

Your thumb hesitantly pressed his code in, opening his email account, but you saw it was just a letter from a subscription. Your lips went to the side, feeling bad for snooping until your read an email that he had opened earlier. The timestamp was during his shift, not knowing if he saw it before or after, but your heart fell when you read the document.

“Based on the DNA analysis, the alleged father is excluded as the biological father. This result is consistent with the statement that the alleged father (Thomas Holland) is not the biological father of the child.”

tags/taglist: @felicityparkers @dhtomholland @duskholland @strawberrytom @itstaskeen @tomhollandsgirlfriend @bi-writes @infinite-imagination​ @honeyspidey​ @hollandcrush​ @sunsetholland​ @pparkersbitch​ @namoreno​ @calltothewild​ @spideyspeaches​ @veryholland​ @osterfieldshollandgirl​ @slutforsebstan​ @bi-lmg​ @sunshinepeterparkr​ @annathesillyfriend​ @madmadmilk​ @antigoneidk​ @hollandcreep​ @wierdflowerpower​