#but im so scared theyre just going to announce its closing down one day

[bisexualbailorgana]

i know tumblr has lots of very real issues with it but if it does actually die i will be so sad. no other website or social media app does the fandom experience quite like tumblr for me. i would rather have a flawed tumblr over no tumblr at all

[ivyuns]

come back to me again ❆ ✰

kim seungmin

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 1.8k

warnings: 2018-2020 era, young hearts are broken, mentions of passing out, y/n’s leader name is yerim and other member’s name is sunni, mentions of suicide, fainting, mean comments, strict dieting, one bad word oop, the plot doesnt make sense lol i just wanted a break from landing in your heart, not proofread

notes: i had three story plots i wanted to use but uh yeah i chose this one (maybe ill post all three of them but different members oo) but listen to love again by baekyun, or the cover by minnie <3

masterlist

idol!seungmin x femidol!reader

tell me you love me like the day you did

the day it ended was on a rainy, cold day. seungmin called you to meet up with him, saying he had something to tell you. heading to the jyp building, which wasnt that far from you house.

scanning your id and greeting the staff, you go to the room seungmin was in. knocking twice, you heard a “come in” and opened the door gently. “hi minnie” you smiled at your boyfriend. seungmin waved back with a small smile on his face.

“y/n, come sit here, we need to talk”

going to where seungmin pat the spot for you to sit, he sighs. “i know this is hard, but you know how stray kids is debuting soon?” you nod, knowing where this is leading to. “i- we have to break up” he paused. “but you know i love you right? i promise id come back after three years okay baby?” holding you tears, you looked into his eyes, that are full of sadness.

trying your best to hold your tears in, you gave him one last hug. before parting different ways, seungmin kissed your lips. letting go, you put the promise ring he gave you 2 years ago on his palm and walked away. letting the tears running onto your cheeks as you walked away from the room.

with a sobbing seungmin left alone in the practice room. holding your promise ring made him feel guilty, but it wasnt his fault that he had to do this.

tell me once again, say that you love me again

packing all of seungmins stuff that was at your house and looking though them made your heart burn. from they day he asked you out after school to whenever you two last hung out with each other, which was over 2 months ago.

because now that you and seungmin auditioned to be in the same company, but with seungmin, he had a little bit more talent than you did. it didnt mean you didnt have talent, it just meant you were physically ready to become an idol. still improving, many idols were amazed at how well your singing and dancing was.

finally taping seungmins box, you went to the stray kids dorm and dropped it off and to say goodbye to the boys. deciding to switch to a new company to focus more instead of dealing with you heartbreak.

you rung the doorbell and you come face-to-face with seungmin. handing seungmin the box, you asked if it was okay to say goodbye to the boys, which made seungmin confused. where you going somewhere? ending your dreams?

seungmin moved to the side for you to come in. as seungmin closed the door, a voice was heard. “seungmo! who’s here- oh” looking up, you see minho. your eyes that was red and puffy ran more tears down as you ran up and hugged minho.

minho was in fact the one who introduced you to seungmin. accidentally falling in love with seungmin, you told minho all about it and he eventually told seungmin about your feelings towards him. seungmin, who felt the same way, made the best way to confess to you, which was a success.

minho hugged you back, caressing you back as seungmin looked down and went back to his room. “its okay love, its okay” minho shushed you as you cried into his chest. settling you two in the living room, the whole stray kids but seungmin came out of their rooms, comforting you as they all knew what happened between you and seungmin.

30 minutes passed and you decided it was time to go. giving the boys one last hug, you made sure they’ll have good luck when theyre now idols.

“just know, ill love you guys forever. thank you”

im where ive always been, i still love you

almost 2 years had gone by and you finally debuted into a three member group. with being the main vocalist and dancer. being invited to the award shows, your group gracefully posed on the red carpet, right after stray kids. accidentally locking eyes with seungmin, you almost teared up but you had to be strong.

sitting down in front of stray kids, you grew anxious as if nobody else other than stray kids and yerim knew about your past relationship. stilling having feelings for seungmin, you let them go and paid attention to the show that was now starting.

“hyung, dont you think y/n looks like shes about to pass out?” jeongin asked seungmin. after you left the dorms that day, seungmin didnt know where you were. nobody told him anything about you other than you leaving jyp. you and your group was hidden from social media until your company announced a new girl group was debuting soon.

after seungmin got the news about you, he felt so relieved, knowing that you were still here living. on the pictures online, you looked like a goddess. the way your singing was beautiful and your dancing were sharp. he was amazed at how far you came.

but when seungmin saw you in person, it looked like you were on the verge of passing out due to how thin you looked. it looked like you couldnt perform on what your condition is.

feeling unsteady, your group was the last ones to perform. getting into your costumes, you fell back slightly when yerim pushed you up. after seeing how weak your body has been acting, she was worried something might happen to you on stage. and seeing how you reacted when you saw seungmin again made her worried.

“y/n, are you sure you got this?” yerim asked. nodding your head a yes with a smile on you, you gave her a thumbs up. with the smile that hid everything. yerim nodded her head, your group was ready to perform.

among the three girls that was on the stage, seungmin only looked out for you. anxiety rising, seungmin bit his lips which changbin rubbing his back to calm down.

the end of the performance, you tried your best to stay still, but you only saw blurry vision. as you were about to get off stage, you fainted with your head hitting the floor first. gasping were loud from everyone as yerim and sunni tried to lift you up and go back to the dressing rooms.

as soon as seungmin saw everything, he stood up and tried to run towards you till he was stopped by chan. “seungmin you cant. everyone’s going to find out” “i dont care hyung, the person i love the most is hurt” seungmin said and let go of chan’s hand that was gripped around seungmins wrist.

seungmin runs through the halls and tries to find your groups room. after finding it, he gently pushes away people who are near you and gets a view of you on the couch. “s-seungmin” both sunni and yerim said together. “yerim, what happened to her” seungmin asked, skipping the honorifics since they know each other.

yerim bites her lips with glossy eyes, scared of what to tell seungmin what you’ve been doing. “yerim?! i said whats going on with y/n-” “she tried to kill herself!” seungmin pauses and tries to lets what yerim said sink into him.

“w-what? why?” seungmin asks as tears start streaming down his face, as well as sunni’s and yerim’s. “she was scared. scared that she wasnt going to be perfect to be an idol. she started getting hate comments, saying she was too fat. but this is why shes too thin. she wont listen to us when we tell her she needs to rest and to start eating. all she does is practice with no water breaks but somehow, she still hits every move right. other than that, shes scared of what youll see her like again. she still loves you seungmin, but shes scared”

“sunbae, shes not okay. she needs somebody and that somebody is you”

seungmin was stunned by what yerim and sunni told him. “can- can you two leave us for a moment. please?” seungmin asked quietly as everyone left the room. seungmin starred at your body. eyes closed with you as skinny as your bones. it scared him of how you thought so low about yourself.

he doesnt understand it. he doesnt understand how you got every moves and vocals right without anything. where you like this during your relationship? no, it couldnt. both seungmin and you promised each other that you two will never keep secrets to yourself.

seungmin silently cries to himself, thinking of why you wanted to do this to yourself as he held your hand. his tears slowly fall onto you forearms, which wipes the makeup off of your scars you created, which makes seungmin cry more.

because of you fainting, the award show was paused temporally. with this being said, stray kids got up and quickly went to you room until they were stopped by yerim. “dont, seungmins already in there” all of them nods their heads and waited outside the room with minho dropping down, hands in his face with tears as he remembers when you tried to seek help from him but he never answered because he was too busy.

don't leave me alone baby, just stay for the night baby

still holding your hand, seungmin whispers ‘i love yous’ and ‘im sorry, please forgive me’. gaining conscious, you flutter your eyes open and see seungmin in front of you.

“seungmin?”

he opens his eyes to see you awake. “bab- y/n. thank god” seungmin says and hugs you gently. tears start streaming down as you realized he probably knows everything now. “s-seungmin, did they tell you-” “yes they did. and im sorry. so fucking sorry oh my god, please dont do this again. please eat, please do what you loved to do again. i want the old y/n back, the happy one” seungmin lets out.

“okay, ill come back” you told him. seungmin wipes your tears away, as well as his and plants a kiss on your lips. “come back to me again?” nodding your head, you both smile. this time, a real and happy smile from you.

the awards continued on and your group won an award. chan offered your group if they wanted to come for dinner, you were going to decline, but yerim, sunni and seungmin forced you to, wanting you to start eating again.

heading out, the eleven of you walked to the nearest korean bbq while holding seungmin’s hand. feeling the warmth youve been missing for 2 years.

tell me your love again.

END <3

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 1 - "I know the game will pick up eventually" ~Shaad

chile lemme not get thrown out for making all these stan twitter bitch references I'M LICHERALLY HARMLESS I DON'T MEAN MOST OF WHAT I SAY DKJFHASJKLDG

~

ngl tho i'm kinda shitting myself over these challenges bc i don't wanna get tossed on the first round JKAHFSJKDGHJ my ant eye et tea is through the ROOF

~

oh girl, first impressions? ngl, the gays and girls here seem quite lovely, hopefully they won't have to carry me the entire time LMAO

Okay like the only person I like/talked to is Jodi but she seems like a smart cookie so ima sleep with one eye open. But idk I'm ready to put on my fake ass smile and my fake ass kind words and get through this part. It's interesting with 6 people per tribe like if we lose I don't have that solid "core" yet but theres a chance that it would be me, jodi, amy because we were the first three on and active so idk. the immunity challenge is cool, the hunt challenge is cool too. im not good at timed puzzles, so I don't think I'm gonna go for it but a part of me feels like everyone across the tribes isnt gonna do it becsuse theyre scared so thats a good opportunity to sneak in and play with less people against me? idk idk idk ahhh

🎶Oh my god we're back again🎶 Hey peeps!! :DDD Here I am againnnn, how fun! Tbh I forgot this was today lowkey and Dylan reminded me and I was like oop 😳 also I am so sorry to everyone that I cannot help but sprinkle the fact that we are now dating in all of my first convos bc IM VERY GAY apologies✨ for how often I'm mentioning it I mean 😂 My tribemates seems so cool, Jennifer and Babs are newbies but seem up to the challenge, Jay A and Colin already giving off immaculate vibes✨ Me and Dyl are hosting Ingary in a month and I do have like work and everything so I don't know exaclty how active I'll be in this game/ how far I'll make it but we'll see won't we!!

not me being a leader of whateva

~

it's the lack of reading comprehension for me (that was shade directed towards myself)

In the fools tribe !!! Moth is in my tribe which is good because we have played together before. The immunity challenge is divide and conquer! So I believe I will be doing the endurance one. I think I’ll be okay... and the hunt announcement is a good twist !!! I’m not sure if I’ll participate in the first one.. but I’ll probably change my mind. ANYWAYS, I’m ready to kick some ass 

Hey guys it's me Brayden and I am so here. I'm so excited to be playing again and stuff and I have already predicted the future that I'll be the winner. Anyways I was at an award ceremony for like the first 3 hours of the game which is kind of scary bc I feel like I missed alot but I'm trying to talk to people and stuff and see what's going on. I've briefly talked to Jodi, Amy, and Ginnifer (who is so hard to talk to btw I like send her messages trying to start a real conversation and she will just respond being like same or something). Anyways the other 2 people on my tribe are offline rn so ig I missed my chance to talk to them tonight so I'll do that tomorrow. Anyways I signed up to do counting and I'm so excited bc I literally KILLED the counting challenge on Kyoshi Islands so I'm so excited to hopefully kill it again. I also decided to play the hunt challenge even though I only have 3 chances bc I'm hoping alot of people will be scared to use one of their three chances to play in the first round and I can have a better chance of winning it. But I think I'm bad at puzzles. I didn't think it through that hard I think I got excited to play a challenge but whatever I'll probably win the advantage then in a few weeks win the whole game anyways see u later.

SO its the morning after the premiere!! Everyone's settled in!! and I kinda don't know how to feel?? Overall the premiere was kinda quiet, nothing happened worth noting tbh. Everyone on the tribe showed up, so thats good, but i think we're all just feeling each other out at the moment as for the people on my tribe! everyone seems chill but also i can't put my finger on it but SOMEHOW this tribe radiates chaotic energy. I don't know HOW or WHY but I just know it DOES. The way we're interacting in the tribe chat it seems like there's a very wide range of personalities and vibes. They're either gonna complement each other or clash, and I guess we're just gonna have to wait to find out which one!!! here are my quick night 1 first impressions that no one asked for :) Anastasia - she showed up kinda late bc she had life happening, understandable. BUT she kinda just jumped right in and started vibing with everyone!! so I think she's gonna be a strong social player. I talked to her and she seems really funny, I think I might really get close with her if I'm able to talk to her more Babs - IF our tribe does end up being chaotic, it's going to be because of Babs. They're definitely the most talkative and prominent person on the tribe, but I think they might come off as messy to others. they're really funny though!! so again I can see myself wanting to work with them if I can get to know them more. They are the biggest question mark on the tribe for me currently Elle - AH. I LOVE THEM ALREADY. Within minutes of us talking they mentioned Dylan and then I found out that they're DATING and I was SCREECHING. cutest shit i've ever heard. I'm so excited to meet and play with them. Dylan is one of my fave people in the org community so ofc I wanna get to know Elle and connect with them as well!! Jay - I think Jay seems like just a very genuine open person?? Like we talked for quite a while yesterday just about games and he was asking me questions about my experience with them and all that. idk if it's because he sees me as a threat or if its because he just actually wanted to get to know me. He lowkey gives me heterosexual vibes and idk if thats true or not but idk how to bring it up. but I def wanna keep talking to him and getting to know him!! I think he might be someone I can form a genuine friendship with Jennifer - kinda have no opinion so far. I think shes the quietest on the tribe. at least for me I didn't get the chance to hear from her much. kinda gives catfish vibes. kinda gives early boot vibes. idk. we'll see what happens!

Not too much yet tbh. Just finding my footing. People are loving my energy so hopefully they’ll keep me around

So i realized Amy is runner up from the season before mine in another org and so we connected over that... of course we are not going to tell anyone else but we did have that going for us to get started. brayden is only 16 but he told me he loves magic and wanted to learn more about it so i told him id teach him some stuff! dennis and i called and connected well BUT hes kinda playing SUPER hard and wanting to throw challenges already to vote people out.. this has never worked out for anybody!! josh is cool, he works at a grocery store so he's gonna kill the "b" challenge. ginnifer has been the most MIA but i have faith that we'll work together well for the popularity contest. yall know i cant play the reverse flirt game i so badly want to coin, but i do have romance tea for yall tomorrow. stay tuned........

Jay and I talked last night so i guess we're best friends. We decided to make an alliance and try to get Elle in it. But everyone has been pretty inactive besides Jay and Collin. I've only slightly talked to Jessica this whole game and Babs hasn't even said one thing to me and I texted them hi. And apperently Babs has left Jay on opened too so they might just suck at talking right now. Hopefully Babs will talk to me they seem so funny and cool D:

I won endurance 👑!!!! Hopefully the fools tribe wins this!!!! I played against Jennifer and Dennis. I could see myself playing with Dennis down the line if we merge. I haven’t talked to anyone but Moth. So I messaged my whole tribe Introducing myself. Hopefully things work out for me! 

Thoughts after the first 24hrs: https://youtu.be/I62bDSzgf68

You hear something ??? Same. Why is my tribe so quiet 😂😂😂😂 I’m trying to read off the vibes but I see nothing. 

I really love my tribe and the fact that they don’t know I played last season is a good strategy to play on my end

tbh i wish we lost i wanted to go to tribal and vote one of these people out :(

Welp we got second place in the first challenge :| which isn't bad!! But it's not first place 😂😂. But I had a fun day taking pictures so whateverssss. I said I would be chaotic in this game but the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet... Guess we'll have to wait and see✨

I think at this point, my team is shady and won't say anything to me so I am nervous.

The challenges were way harder than I thought. I didn't do well at all and let my tribe down. I feel like I will be the first to get voted out if we have a tribal hearing.

We lost yay. I had a feeling. Hopefully the tribe will keep me around for now since I won endurance.... lhsisowjshwowpwpwheowowhfiwpqpqpjw. Jared thinks we can vote Bri out. Which I’m fine with, I haven’t really talked to her at all. Jared and I are going to message the others and see where everyone’s head is at. Honestly I don’t care who goes home as long as I’m safe. Everyone is quiet which is so annoying. Blahhhhhhhhhh 

Well it’s my 3rd time playing and it’s not off to the best start, no one seems to be talking to anyone. And we lost meaning we are going to tribal council. So fuck- I have no idea what about to happen. I’m just hoping it’s not me or Jess

if i must confess, my strategy is to have a 4-3-2 alliance. i need a 4 to have a majority, but i dont have a 4 yet. within the 4, theres a three person alliance w me jodi and amy, but within that three i believe that the core 2 is myself and jodi. i really dont care who the 4th is. i like having jodi and amy as an alliance because theyre both doing wayy too much which is great for me :) i dont think any of these people have idols but who knows. i would love to throw the next immunity i wanna go to tribal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like we’ve got something good. We’ve got an alliance that’s set to (hopefully) vote out bri due to inactivity. Let’s just pray it works

~

Trying to talk in this tribe is so difficult In both my other seasons I was pretty quiet all the time It is like that x10000 I was hoping to stay under the radar but that doesn’t work if no one talks at all I suppose it depends on if I’m being played or if everyone just doesn’t talk. I think there’s a plan. Let’s hope it goes well 

OKAY SO. Moth, Jared and I have a little alliance going on. We are set on voting out Bri. I just talked to Danny and Shaad and they are down with voting Bri out. I have high hopes that I’ll be safe at tribal. 

Better communication.. in sticking with that fact, our communication in my team could be better and we need to put more effort into what we do, I believe in us!

https://youtu.be/595h7hmL6VY

The start to this game has been a freaking snails pace...it’s unbelievable to me that these people do not want to talk that much, especially when it’s a tribe of 6. Colin and I talk the most, I’ve gotten a decent amount out of Anastasia, and to me it feels like those 2 wants to work with me and I am fine with working with them. Usually in a larger group you want to figure out who you can work with long term and use the first few tribals to establish trust, I may throw that out the window since there’s only 5 other people on this tribe. My strategy needs to be who the hell can get me past these first few votes before a swap happens, and I feel like I can rely on Colin and Anastasia for that. I’d like to pull in Elle, because she’s the one who’s talked to me the most out of her, Babs, and Jennifer. Everyone seems nice, but it would be lovely if people would be more active. 

I’m enjoying the fact our tribe won the first challenge everyone is very nice I love it :)

This round has been pretty smooth sailing. I know the game will pick up eventually but for now, we are just going with the flow as a tribe

https://youtu.be/UZVzZ6d6GRU

~

ok so apparently ginnifer isn't famous. she's just a bit quiet and mysterious. ok with me, just gonna take a while because I'm a loud and outspoken person (and player). amy, dennis and I have an alliance called "fang gang" (it's really just 3 emojis of vampires) and we're going to run the premerge hopefully. I do like brayden a lot, and maybe I'll propose a 3 with him, amy and myself to have a solid 4 control the votes until a swap. round 1 not bad so far!

~~~

Edgics:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: I believe Jodi is thriving on this tribe. She is very obviously a social player who picks up on the littlest details. I’m sure she can sniff out a plot if it comes down to it. However, Jodi is the plot. She is the leader of her tribe and is easily the most active person in the game at the moment. So long as she keeps a smile on her face and doesn’t overextend to do something messy, she will find that she will make it safely to merge. Allying with Amy could be dangerous however since Amy has stated she needs to be voted out before a certain date. This means that Jodi needs to socialize with other members of her tribe and get new allies before hers will inevitably be voted out of the game.

Amy: Even though she wants to get voted out, Amy has set herself up perfectly at Jodi’s side. She can take the heat off of herself using Jodi and is able to hide better than others. As always, her UTR game has come out to shine. She hasn’t had anyone call her out and even though Jodi has seen her play she is still able to gain her trust.

Josh: Doing so well in the challenge has earned Josh’s place here. He makes his worth known early and has a great personality as well. This makes him very safe for any early tribal councils as no one is going to want to take him out; they want him on their side. Similar to Amy, he just seems to be using an under the radar social game which he is executing well at the present moment. And, as the star of the challenge, he makes himself safe for future tribals before the swap. However, I do fear that this early impression of competition prowess will come back to haunt him if he makes it to the merge.

Dennis: I would put Dennis higher, but Jodi, his ally, already is suspicious of him. She seems to think of him as a bit of a sneak and, as the tribe leader, her opinions matter the most. It is good that he is able to be Jodi’s ally so she might stray away from voting him out. However, his desire to go to tribal and play the game so early may bite him in the butt later down the line. I can definitely see him being called out for trying to play too hard too fast. At the moment, he remains high because he seems to be decently social and no one except Jodi has sniffed him out.

Brayden: There’s not much to say on Brayden’s game. He doesn’t seem to have any allies, his challenge performance wasn’t as good as others on his tribe, and he is not in any alliances yet. This spells disaster for Brayden if his tribe goes to consecutive tribal councils. Additionally, even though he was one of the few to play in the Hunt, he didn’t win and wasn’t even close to doing so. He even gave up part way through to do the immunity challenge. I would be saving them if I were Brayden, but hindsight is 20/20. If Brayden can squeeze into being the fourth of the Jodi, Amy, Dennis alliance instead of Josh then maybe his game forecast will be better.

Ginnifer: The thing that lands Ginnifer on the bottom is that she said that her tribe could vote her out if they lost the challenge. This primes people to already be willing to get rid of her in this game. Additionally, some people have expressed difficulty with talking to Ginny such as Jodi and Amy. The former still wants to give Ginny a try at being an ally while the latter was ready to vote her out if necessary. Ginny just needs to pick up social steam and outperform in the next comp if she’s going to have longevity in this game.

Fools

Jessica: In lieu of a clear leader, Jessica has stepped up as she started the first alliance on her tribe with Moth and Jared. No doubt, Jessica’s prior relationship with Moth helped facilitate. Additionally, this seems to paint them as the “active” members of this not active tribe. Therefore, it will be very easy for Jessica to dictate votes without getting labelled as a threat since her tribe is not active enough to do so. I can definitely see her leaning on Moth as a crutch, but for now she is the topdog of her tribe. Especially so since she was the only member of her tribe to win a challenge in Divide and Conquer.

Moth: As Jessica’s right-hand person, Moth is a secure spot. It also helped that they have played this game before and is on a not active tribe. This vibes well with Moth’s gameplay style since they aren’t a social powerhouse like Jodi or Colin. Instead, she keeps it more lowkey which makes this tribe in particular a great tribe for her to thrive in.

Jared: While he hasn’t provided a confessional yet, it’s clear he’s positioned himself well with Moth and Jessica. As the topdogs of the tribe, they are key people to get in with. Besides that, he seems to be a little more active than some others, but there’s not much else to say as of right now.

Danny/Shaad: Him and Shaad can trade spots on this ranking because they are playing similar games at the moment. They are both quiet and inactive, yet are not part of the core alliance of this tribe. This could spell danger for them in upcoming tribal councils if they don’t start working on people now. They seem to be safe for now based solely on Bri’s inactivity, but, otherwise, they need to pick up their socio-strategic game before it is too late.

Bri: She seems to be the most likely person to get voted out. She was not online at all for the first two days of the game and has since remained inactive. She is easy pickings for the top 3 of this tribe which really hurts my heart. I know her in real life and she is very sociable and easy to get along with. I have no doubt that in a real life game of Survivor or Big Brother, she would kill the social game.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: Similar to Jodi, Colin is the most social person on his tribe at the moment. However, unlike Jodi, he has not taken a leader position which works to his benefit. Despite being social, Colin has been able to slip under the radar of most people with a lot of them wanting to work with him. Colin is easily going to survive until the swap, but I will caution him from getting too many allies too quickly. This tribe in particular has a wildcard willing to blow things like that up so he needs to be careful.

Elle: Similar to her previous games, Elle plays an extraordinary social game and becomes very well-liked very easily. They have no problem fitting into any situation and I foresee them making it far if they gain the right allies. What puts her at number 2 as opposed to number 1 is that she hasn’t made any strategic comments yet. Instead, she is focusing on a social game which is not a bad thing. Colin has just shown more of his gameplay in these rounds.

Anastasia: Anastasia, despite being late to the premiere, has been able to socialize with key people such as Colin and Jay. Her prior connection with Elle has also sparked an interest in Colin in working with the two of them as an alliance. Overall, her and Elle sort of share the 2 and 3 spot since they are both well-liked, did well in the challenge, and are prime allies for Colin whose word will feel like law if this tribe ever goes to tribal.

Jay: Jay is neither here nor there. He isn’t in the bottom, but he is not calling the shots either. It is good that Colin wants him as his number 1 and that Anastasia likes him. Out of the three outside of this potential Elle, Colin, Anastasia alliance, he seems like he will be most likely to be saved until a swap occurs. His calls with people have certainly been helping with that as people are able to bond more with him through there. His activity could use work, but he doesn’t need to be active if he’s liked.

Babs: With another Jodi comparison, Babs has taken the leadership position of their tribe. However, they are not as social and, in fact, considered a big threat since they are so willing to talk freely and openly in the tribe chat. Their gameplay is going to be Messy, and people have already pointed that out, making them a clear target if this tribe goes to tribal council. Despite that, they aren’t at the bottom since some people, like Colin, have expressed interest in working with that kind of player as a sort of shield. If Babs were to tone it down and be more social with people (another problem with their game), they may be able to crawl up these rankings.

Jennifer: Sadly I have to put another phonetic Jennifer at the bottom. She did the worst in the challenge across her tribe and isn’t active either. For this round, it seems she would be the easy vote if this tribe had gone to tribal. She needs to start being more social and be more of a presence in people’s minds.

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

Silver Wings In The Moonlight

Fandom: Dunkirk

Pairing: Collins x Reader

Warning: N/A

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long

Summary/Request: Based off Anne Shelton’s ‘Silver Wings In The Moonlight’: Jack finally comes home after the war is over. 

Notes: No Gender Pronouns used, neutral partner terms, but marriage is mentioned just in case that’s off putting. 

Jack Collins loved flying. You knew that form the moment you met him. That he loved flying with everything in him, that it brought a thrill to him, as much as it scared him. He once told you that he felt the same way about you. That he loved you, you thrilled him, excited him, but that you scared him as well. That he was scared of how much he loved you, scared of leaving you to go fly in the war...that it was all a rather scary thing, being in love that is. You found it funny that he thought falling in love was as scary as fighting in the war. 

You would always share him with his love of flying, you knew he’d be torn between the two and you never asked him to stop flying, to finding a safer job in the war...because that wasn’t fair and because ultimately you knew that he’d never stop you doing what you loved, no matter how dangerous, so what right did you have of doing the same.

You had just hoped, much as the familiar Anne Shelton song went, that eventually his love of flying, of his silver wings, of his plane, would bring him home safely. That he’d survive every single encounter and that you’d finally get to live in a world without war together. 

Demobilisation was a long process, however. When the war in Europe was announced as over, won, done, completed, everyone had been happy, excited, overjoyed knowing that so many could finally come home even with the war in the pacific still ongoing. You were rather lucky that demobilisation of the Royal Air Force was a rather quick affair compared to the hundreds of thousands of men in the Army or Navy. You had known that Jack would be stationed at a nearby air base, that he’d be home...because while you knew he’d stay in the RAF post-war, you also knew without the war on he’d have more time for you, more safety, and you’d actually get to fall asleep in his arms for once. 

When you finally got the letter telling you he was coming home it was the biggest relief you’d ever felt. Knowing you’d see him again. 

Dearest Y/N,

This is a short letter compared to our usual exchanges, but i’m writing to let you know that i’ll be home soon. They’re stationing me back nearby now that the wars over. Giving me leave too, three whole weeks! 

I’ve missed you with all my heart, as much as I love flying it is horrible being away from you. It will be great to be able to see you and fly again rather than having to choose between the both of you. 

I always told you i’d make it back, even though I know you’ve worried every day for the past six years. It seems so strange that after six years we’re finally done with this bloody war. 

Forever yours,

Jack 

It had been brief considering his usual letters spanned two or three pages, but you’d understood why. He was coming home and why write about things that were happening when he could simply talk to you again, hold you in his arms and tell you every funny story, every sad happening, every moment that you’d missed over the six years of war. 

You hadn’t a date for his arrival, but every day you made sure the house was perfect. That it was clean, that you had a good stock of tea, that you had enough to make a nice meal. It was the little things you wanted him to come back and not have to worry about going down the shop or clean up a tiny bit of mess. You wanted him to be able to come in and just hold you. For hours. Without any responsibilities or things to worry about. You’d spent six years with rare leave dotted here and there. A few days often at most to spend time together. Now you had three weeks. Three weeks and he’d be working nearby, perhaps able to live at home and go to base each day. 

You’d been reading the paper when you heard the door unlock and open, close shut, and the sound of a familiar voice call down the hallway, “I’m home!” You’d been so excited you dropped the paper on the floor and rushed out of the living area, not stopping until you’d almost launched yourself at him for a long awaited hug. 

He still smelt the same like carbolic soap and the aftershave he always used. He still felt the same, solid, warm, arms wrapping around you and pulling you tighter as he buried his face into your shoulder. 

“I’ve missed you.” You mumble it into the blue of his uniform, not wanting to pull away even for a second to talk to him. Letters allowed you to talk to him, but the physicality of having someone there? Nothing could replicate that. You couldn’t simply get a hug any time you wanted, a kiss on a cheek, a hand on the small of your back.  The physicality just didn’t translate the way words did. 

His grip tightens on you and you can hear and feel him take deep breaths, contented ones, taking in everything that surrounded him. “I’ve missed ye too, love...so much.” 

You pull back, only enough to see his face. He looks the same. Blonde hair, cut short back and sides, long on the top, combed over neatly. Blue eyes that are so soft and kind, eyes that helped you fall in love with him. Soft smile, the type of smile that still managed to make you flustered and just a little bashful. He hadn’t changed much, older, certainly older. You both were. You’d first started dating when you were barely in your twenties. Now you were in the latter part of that decade of your life. You’d spent so much time apart, writing letters, keeping your relationship going. 

“I can barely believe you’re actually here...finally...six years.” You press your forehead to his, close your eyes, taking in the feel of him, the smell of him, the presence of him once gain.

“Well, ye better believe it. I’m not goin’ anywhere anytime soon.” You open your eyes again, scan his face briefly, before pressing your lips to his. A little chapped and slightly unfamiliar after so long apart, but still Jack. Still the soft press of lips, the sweet hum of happiness from his throat before he pulls back and smiles down at you. 

You’re not really prepared for him to sink to one knee, mostly because you’re still finding it hard to believe that he’s finally back, that the war is over and he’s finally back. So its rather something else to find him sinking to one knee. 

“I don’t have a ring yet...I was going to wait till I found one, but we’ve waited six years and I just want to marry ye finally. I spent six years without ye and you’re the best partner I could ever ask for. You’ve put up with me for six years, without me help around the house, with me shitty handwriting. Will ye marry me?” 

Its not something you really have to think about after so long, because you’ve already thought the answer before today, thought of this possibly happening a million times. You decided that if you could survive being away from him during a war, then you could manage the trials of married life. Of a life during peace time.

“Of course I will, Jack” You pull him back to his feet and grip him in a tight embrace once again. You don’t really need a ring or something fancy or a big speech, the fact that he’s here, that he’s alive, that he wants to marry you, that is enough. 

“I love you.” You cup his cheeks in your hand and meet his eyes. You want to make sure he knows just how much you love him, that after everything you still love him the same as when you first fell for him. It hasn’t mellowed, hasn’t dissipated. Its still as strong as ever.

“I love ye too, sweetheart.”

[monsterloveday]

Your grief is depressing me.

I have no idea how people will feel reading this, but ultimately I want to because  death is such a taboo subject - its avoided so much that I don't think we do ourselves any favours by avoiding it. After all, if you haven't already been through it, you will at some point. (You know what they say, you can never avoid death or taxes).

Although nothing will ever prepare you for it, I do believe we should give lee way for the people who do want to speak out on it, as it was from going through grief myself, I noticed how so many people tried to silence me due to their own fear / awkwardness / attitude towards it - this is not fair nor is it healthy. Its also a really shitty treatment towards grieving people. I feel that it is such a painful subject that we seem to fear the thought of it (and rightly so), but, I feel we do need to speak on it more - whether you have been through it or not.  This isn't to say that death should be spoken of all the time as that of course would be draining, but I do fear there are many ‘unwritten rules’ on this, one example being that you are ‘bringing people down’ or that people wont want to hear it or know what to say and you can understand that and appreciate that to a point.

But really, pretending death doesn't happen or locking those thoughts away probably don't help individuals when a loved one does actually pass away. I feel it is something us humans have to try and learn to be more open about, to not be afraid to bring it up, accept and perhaps educate ourselves on. When dad was having his last days (as horrendous as they were), I almost feel like I can say that the aftermath of death is actually worse (or maybe just as bad), that it is probably worse for the people who witness the death, over the person who is actually dying. People think that even with death ‘Time is a healer’, I even remember thinking to myself that at the year mark point, I would probably be so much better.

How naive I was. Grief has no expiry date. There is no ‘getting over it’. I feel just as bad now as I did then, and I wonder just how long this will be with me, I then fret that I will always carry this, as like I mention before, there is no ‘Light at the end of the tunnel’ with death. That person has gone, that theyre absence is so loud, it is a constant reminder, its massive, dark and noticable, and that the fact they have died will always, always, always be shit and nothing will change that. Im just telling it like it is.  Since then I look at the rest of my family, friends, and even my dog and worry about how bad it will be WHEN (not if) WHEN other loved ones die. That I have to do this again, and again, many more times. It makes me want to vomit. It makes me want to die first to avoid it. It makes me not like life at all. The world has become a very scary place now, how it snatches anyone it wants, and you are left to deal with that, and live a life knowing that that hangs over you all the time, yet you are expected to just ‘carry on’. At the time I remember seeing a gif of a monster hovering over a man walking up the stairs  - he knew it was there, lurking, waiting for the right moment, an extended version of waiting for the axe to fall. This is exactly how I felt. It. is. Awful. I remember being at dads side all day, at every minute looking at him and my heart pounding, checking if he was still breathing, wondering “is he dead?!”. Seeing my once strong dad now with all sorts of shit in his arms, his face, and everywhere else, not even able to open his eyes, the sounds of the machines trying to help him breathe - gah. Fuck that memory. And then going home to an empty house. My sister was with her other half, my brother his, my mum staying with dad (and rightly so). I had to walk past dads room, his belongings became SO noticeable, that even the sight of them scared me. How different this house was now. I was alone in a house that used to be my family home, now it was a house filled with horrors that reminded you of what was about to be taken away, how just a few weeks before he was in this house - not about to die. I remember wondering what I had done to deserve this, to watch my dad slowly die all day and night and have to come home alone. I wanted to be held. I wanted to be held so tight that it knocked me out. I kept all the lights on and I rang my friend who has also lost her dad and stayed on the phone to her until I fell asleep. I never forget friends like that. It was the worst. It was hell - but it wasn't a case of I was owed bad karma, its that life can be cruel, and it can be cruel to ANYONE. Not just me. And that ultimately - death is a part of life. When he died, after 10 long days of waiting for it to happen, I couldn't deal how people looked at me awkwardly, that I was the elephant in the room, that it is said that talking about things will help but yet when you try and open up peoples body language scream “I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU”, the looks on their faces, the silence. Not only that most of the people around me hadn't lost anyone, so they didn't get it, but that my grief was actually making THEM feel awkward or that they didnt really want to speak to me. Some friends didn't even bother to contact me and said “ I didn't think you would want to come out”. It all added to my isolation. To this day I still don't talk to close friends or even my family about it, how death has taken such a massive characteristic from me - expression. Its taken so much of me. And people don't know what to say. That is not an attack or criticism, because its not a popular topic, and people avoid it like the plague. And rightly so, because its depressing. But this is why I wanted to write about it, I feel that if talking of death wasn't so taboo, It would help people for when they are actually going through it, or even in the smallest way, help them accept or prepare for an inevitable death, theres no ‘How To’ on death and for me personally, not having addressed death before - it really kicked my ass (and still is to this day) when it did arrive - after all, everyone goes through it at some point in their lives. Soon people see it as old news’ (especially after the funeral - how ghastly funerals are) and assume you must be ‘better’ now. It really doesn't work like that. Its ongoing. The heart specialist that saw dad through his last days told us himself that life is much harder after the funeral - this made me dread and dread and dread the funeral so much. But he was so right. Every day was so scary, dreadful and just black. It really does feel like you are in a out of body experience, that your mind just cant handle what is going on, so it shuts itself down and blocks things out whichever way it can, for some its denial, shock, its like your in a never ending nightmare and you just want to wake up. Soon after, my sister announced her pregnancy and I freaked.the.hell.out. I couldn't deal with all this massive change in my family in a tiny amount of time, what If I never see her now?, she will have her own family and we will be forgotten?!, that dad just missed it! what if what if what if?!!?. I ate and ate my way through these situations, I couldn't control or be disciplined at such a bad time in my life, the weight piled on and so did the depression - but this decision to eat has made things so much worse - but I still wouldn't have been able to do it any other way. I had a breakdown and that very morning took myself to the doctor. I couldn't deal and I wanted pills to take me out of this, at any cost. I wanted to be drugged at the highest level. Just take it away. Pills. They were not my friend. This in itself will be another blog as I want to stay focused on this topic. But in short, my health went to shit. My confidence was dropping and dropping and dropping. I stopped sculpting, I stopped art, I stopped ukulele, I stopped cooking. I stopped dating. I stopped singing, I stopped trying. My labido completely vanished. I didn't feel like a human anymore, I couldn't give love and I couldn't receive it. I was just a thing with skin. I didn't like boys, boys wouldn't like me - not at this weight and my belly. I hated how I looked, I hated my hair, I hated my whole appearance, I hated my now unfitting clothes, I hated how depressing clothes shopping had become, so I stopped. Everything I once took pleasure in, didn't please me anymore. Not even if I tried. I think I could have done the most amazing things and it still wouldn't budge this thing inside of me, taking over. I was turning into the worst version of me, a version of me I never knew existed. Mornings became a demon.  Im sure theres loads of you that relate to this and know what I mean by this. Id be in bed and suddenly my heart raced and it felt like that feeling you get when your about to do something that scares the shit our of you or makes you so nervous you need to puke, that the tiniest tasks became mountains - “Oh my actual god I have to get out of bed today and face people and do things”?!?!  I was so nervous and scared all the time and didn't know why.

I become so so tired having to work throughout the week, yet hated the weekends because of feeling unproductive or lonely. I felt so tired doing too much but felt like I had to be doing something as soon as I stopped, its like you are in a constant battle with yourself. My life went from grief, to anxiety and depression all in one hit. And I had to try and live with it every single day. Its so hard. And I still have to keep fighting through all this crap that life throws at me, Im still not at the ‘other side’ of all this and when I think I've had my dose of it, it gives me some more. But life does this to everyone and thats why I think its important to not be afraid of being open about feeling shit, because we can be there for each other. Yet we all seem to stay quiet and get annoyed when people express themselves if they are feeling sad, they are given the “you are so negative / moaning label - this isn't the case. I hate that people turn a blind eye because people express their negative emotions, really, what is wrong with that? I think ultimately I want to say to anyone that has lost someone, or is about to, or maybe people that just battle with their inner demons... Its annoying as hell but you have to fight back. And I know its so frustrating to have to fight for things that other people get so freely. Like - just being ok. Know that I am with you. I. Am. With. You. Know that this terror, too shall pass and you will get stronger. You will.

And you'll be surprised by how many people feel the way you do, but we just don't speak of it, so we think its unique to us - its not, we are a massive bunch of humans who suffer but not together!. I learned that life isn't always on my side and admitting that life is hard, we just have to get harder, and we do. I think sometimes we don't realise it though. You don't have to be fearless to be brave, being scared all the time is brave, because you have to force yourself through the fear all the time! I wont ever be the same person I was before my dad died, but maybe I need to stop trying to be, maybe its ok that I will always be a little bit broken. Death is so life changing for the people still remaining, so don't expect to stay the same person. And that is also OK. I would like to hope that at some time, life will be brighter for us once more, I think good and bad times pass by like waves, we cant have one without the other. What a beautiful cunt life is, ay? =p. One difference I have noticed in myself is how much more appreciative I am of small things. Just being with people, taking photos, hearing the birds sing, Knowing that life isn't forever, but its now, and now is all we have. So go get that tattoo, go on that trip you have always wanted too, tell that person how deeply in love with them you are, go and get your life and chase those goals, its scary, but its worth it. We wont be here forever! There is no “Im over it” now, as mentioned before, after losing someone, a gap is there that will never be filled.  But. Although it seems so very unlikely, you will feel love again You will laugh so hard again You will be able to think of that person and a smile come onto your face, instead of a tear and sometimes it will just be tears Sometimes you will miss them so much it hurts Sometimes you will feel lucky you had them in your life Sometimes you will feel cheated that they were taken away. There will be days where you can face things and days where you cant. You will never feel just one way, but you really do learn to live with it, and I promise you, although you will miss them so much - you're going to be OK. You become better at always being sad about it, and it will always be there, but it wont destroy you like it does in the early days / months / years. I was watching a film last night, about a man who died and was saying to his still alive wife beyond the grave, “I still exist”. This filled my heart will sheer comfort - the thought that death doesn't mean they are gone, that they really are still alive - just somewhere else. Dad please be up there, I really want to see your face again! and the hope that I could gives me me such a lift!. And maybe if we try to think, that maybe death isn't the worst thing, because hopefully our loved ones have gone somewhere BETTER! where they are the happiest they could ever be, no suffering, no pain and that they are having a ball up there! its like I've said, I think its worse for the people left behind and maybe if we start accepting that death happens, maybe we wont fight against it so much by knowing that death isn't the end! Im trying to hard to feel this way! Involve only good people in your life, be true to yourself, express yourself no matter how you feel and most importantly... They still exist. Jay

[femikpop]

BTS RUN | 29 |

Tittle: BTS RUN | 29 | Words: 1.5K Pairing: Sou/Everyone; 8th Member of BTS Summary: BTS RUN ep. 29 with Sou.

‘This is our dorm. I’m wondering why we are here.’, Hoseok said, beginning the new episode of RUN BTS.

‘Again?’, Namjoon asked.

‘Yeah we’ve shot here three times already.’, Taehyung answered and everybody nodded.

‘Today we’re here to keep our promise a Billboard Hot 100 hit.’, director said.

‘Styling each other.’, Jungkook reminded everybody. Man started to explain all the rules and how will today’s episode go. Everyone was listening carefuly, trying not to miss any detail, that may help them with the game.

‘I wanted to do whole pink outfit, but then I remembered, that I threw away my pink pants.’, Jin said dissapointed. ‘And now I can’t do that.’

‘I hope, that I won’t be in pair with Jin.’, Jungkook said immediately afterwards.

‘I will create look with my favurite pajamas.’, Yoongi announced.

‘Pajamas are cool.’, Jin added and Sou nodded.

‘To be honest I would be happy if I will get pajamas set as the outfit.’, Sou said and Jin agreed with her.

‘If I’m honest, I’m scared the most about Sou.’, Jungkook said, pointing at her.

‘Yeah, she’s the only girl in the group.’, Seokjin said. ‘And she’s so tiny.’, he added in high pitched voice and came closer to pinch her cheeks. Sou immediately slapped his hands, which made everybody laugh.

‘I don’t think there are even one piece of clothing in Sou’s closet, that will fit me.’, Namjoon exclaimed.

‘And, like you said she’s a girl, so dresses and heels and normal things for her.’, Jimin said and Hoseok, that was sitting at the very end, started to whine to himself.

‘She doesn’t wear skirts and heels a lot, so we’re fine.’, Jungkook said, waving at her.

‘But it doesn’t mean, that I don’t have them in my closet.’, Sou went right back with raised eyebrow. Everybody reacted at her comment and poor Jungkook hid face in his hands.

‘I think we should agree, that you won’t give us either skirts or heels.’, Namjoon proposed a deal for her.

‘Let’s try something else.’, she said back to Namjoon, who’s eyes went big in surprise. ‘I will exclude either dresses and skirts or heels.’, Sou said her deal and boys started to thinking about it very hard.

‘But does the term ‘heels’ include boots with heels too?’, Taehyung asked.

‘Everything, that has even the smallest heel I will throw out immediately. So it means, that it will leave you with some trainers or flats.’, she explained to the rest. There was silence for a minute and then boys went together to discuss the deal from Sou.

‘It’s a tought decision and we’re a little torn apart.’, Namjoon said and they nodded.

‘But I think we should exclude dresses and skirts, because there’s no way she’ll find heels in her closet, that will be our size.’, Jungkook said and picked Sou’d foot up, putting his foot near. ‘Look, her feet are almost half my size.’

‘Genius.’, Hoseok said and high fived him.

‘Welcome to my little closet.’, Sou said, opening the door of her wardrobes. She had four in total, but this one was specific. ‘I’m actually really excited for this challenge. Boys are thinking, that all my clothes wiil be too small for them. Well they are really wrong.’, she added and took out big box from the back of her closet. ‘Few months ago, before we went to America, I ordered fe packages of new clothing. But we had to fly a little bit earlier, that we supposed to, so I couldn’t even try these. When we came back two months later, I realised, that they’re too big for me and I couldn’t give them back to the shop.’, she explained, picking out piece by piece from the box.

Sou was really thinking hard about what would be the perfect example of her style. She picked out denim shorts, grey crop top, classic leather jacket, that was always with her and pink button up shirt, that she usually would wear it around her waist.

‘God, I would almost forget about one more thing.’, Sou exclaimed and went back to her closed, picking up one more box. ‘Few days ago, director informed me about this challenge, so that I could prepare. And of course I had to order one more thing, that represents my style perfectly.’, she explained and showed black block heeled boots to the camera. They weren’t high, but they weren’t flat for sure. ‘They picked dresses instead of heels, so I’m not breaking the deal.’

‘Who’s clothes you don’t wanna get?’, camera man asked, making Sou turn back to him. She put her lips to one side of her face and looked up for a second, thinking of an answer.

‘Namjoon.’, she said after a while. Man motioned for her to extend her answer and she took a deep breath. ‘He’s really tall and his clothes will look big on me, especially because he really likes to wear baggy outfits. It’ll drown inside them.’, she added laughing. 

All eight members were now in a big while room with their chosen clothers behind them. 

‘Let’s look at them!.’, Hoseok said, pointing behind him.

‘I just wanna say, that I don’t want to pick Sou.’, Jungkook said, picking up shoes and shorts.

‘We said no heels!’, Seokjin exclaimed.

‘Correction: I gave you and option to chose between dresses and heels. You chose dresses and akirts and can you see any of them? No. So I didn’t do anything wrong. You should’ve been wiser when you were choosing.’, Sou said, rolling her eyes.

‘It’s all your fault.’ Taehyung screamed, pointing at Jungkook.

‘Okay, stop being dramatic and let’s start to pick out the pairs.’, Sou said emotionless and nodded at the crew members. 

They started to explain them the rules of how will the be choosing pairs. The rules were simple: one person trows a rose and whoever was closer to the rose was wearing throwing person clothes. But it couldn’t be normal with all the boys. It soon went all messy and dramatic with all teams. However the real highlight was, that Hoseok had to wear Jin’s clothes and Yoongi Sou’s. Sou on the other side had to wear outfit, that she didn’t want the most - Namjoon’s. Reactions were priceless, especially Yoongi’s who realised what he has to put on in a minute.

They all went to the changing rooms to put on their outifts and went right back to the white room with black capes on. And so the fashion show started. Sou went first. She stood on the podium and with emotionless face she threw the came away, making everybody around gasp in shock. 

‘#FasionableSou. Let’s get it trending.’, Jungkook said through the laugh and Sou just glared at him with pure hate in her eyes, which made him stop immediately.

‘You look like you have muscles. I guess going to the gym with Jungkook was a good decision.’, Jimin said and touched her arms. 

‘Can I go home now?’, she asked with a pout and they all laughed.

‘No, because our Suga is next!’, Taehyung screamed.

Yoongi stood on the podium, where Sou was few seconds before. He threw the cape away and everyone gasped in shock. Nobody even dared to say a thing. They were just standing with opened mouths and looking at him. But then Sou ended the silence, with laugh.

‘I’m sorry.’, she said, trying to stay calm, but them she looked down on his shoes and couldn’t do it anymore.

‘I’m glad this is funny for you.’, Yoongi said, pointing at her.

It’s already known, that Jin will joke about it probably for the rest of his life. But at least it was very funny, especially for Sou. Next members were going up on the podium and showing their outfits. Stupid comments were flying all around the room, everybody laughed a lot and had so much fun, even in terrible clothes.

The last part of the episode was showing off their outfits on a runaway. They all standed in line, getting ready. Sou was of course first, like most of the times. 

‘It’s my time to finally shine as a model.’, she said and when music started to play, she walked to the runaway and stopped for a moment to pose. She put her hands in the pocket of the sweater and pouted a little, making boys laugh. Sou started to walk till the end of the carpet and stopped again doing the same pose. Then she turned around, crouching at the same time. She turned her head back to the camera she send it a quick kiss, making boys scream again. After that she stood up and started walking back, moving her but as if she was twerking from time to time. But them when she crossed half way of the runaway, she turned all stoic and emotionless as if nothing had happened.

masterlist

[kurainburdened]

POKEMON AU pls.... bc i know ur passionate abt pokemon and honestly Me Too

III LOVE YOU!!! I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING THIS A THING WHERE I ADD IN THE SENDERS MUSE INTO THE HCS BUT MAYA AND YOUR MUSE NEVER INTERACTED WHICH IS A CRIME!!! Dont tell edgeworth or she might get arrested lol. But anway!! I want to do stuff with you!!

ALSO THANK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS BECAUSE THATS REALLY SWEET OF YOU AND IM REALLY TOUCHED YOU REMEMERED I LOVE POKEMON

Number 1

Mayas first pokemon, funny enough isnt a ghost type, but a normal type. See, in the pokemon verse Mayas background is basically the same. The Fey village is basically unchanged in this worly except for one thing. On a certain part of the mountainside is a forest that travellers tend to get lost in for ages. Many report hallucinations as being the main cause for this so it’s kind of cut off. Maya, being the rebel she is, of course wanders it in hopes of conquering it. Her sister is usually the voice of reason and really it would only take her being like. what if youre lost forever or something to scare her into staying but shes not ther so into the forest she goes! It’s there that she finds a waterfall and goes there to train constantly. She tries and tries to channel spirits and one day, she succeeds! Or so she thinks. The first time she thinks she’s channeled another spirit, she sees herself as the spirit she’s been trying to channel, sees her now-possessed body moving and acting on it’s own. When she runs back to the village to tell her story, she’s told that she couldn’t have channeled a spirit because if she did she would’ve been unconscious. 

Confused Maya goes back and tries again only to get the same result. After a bit of investigating Maya realizes the source of travelers getting lost and the hallucinations is due to a stantler. This Stantler saw Maya, this little girl training so hard that it took pity on her, and wanting to help in the only way it could let her see herself channeling a spirit. At first Maya is crushed and upset at the pokemon for giving her false hope but quickly forgives it and thanks it for wanting to help. The pokemon soon takes on this kind of caring role for Maya, along with also being her only playmate seeing as the other girls in the village are kind of distant with her. Her being the heir to the Master title and Morgan instructing them to listen to her and listen to all her selfish desires, leading to them being resentful of her. Anyway, also to build off of that. Once Mayas sister dies, she asks the Stantler to let her see her Sister again. And thats like a thing she did for awhile before telling it to stop because it became this painful reminder of something she could never do which is channel her sister. Actually fun fact she asked the stantler to show her her mother but was heartbroken when it basically gave her the answer that it couldnt because Maya didn’t have the memory of her mothers face anymore. Anyway. One time when shes particularly heartbroken and hopeless she laments in the forest to herself how shes so useless and cant do anything right. How she hates herself for being this way. Hates herself for not being able to compare to Mia or her mother. At this point she sees the image of her sister saying shes proud of her. Maya is angry at Stantler for showing her such a horrible lie and runs away. Only to later be told by the pokemon that it wasn;t trying to make her see her sister say that, rather it was the only way of communicating that even if no one else appreciated her, it was proud of her. 

ANYWAY ENOUGH OF STANTLER ON TO NUMBER 2

That’s right another in depth backstory for another pokemon hopefully not as long lol

The next on the list is a primeape that lives in the forest, training with sawk and throh. It kind of ended up getting abandonned by it’s trainer in a place where this breed of pokemon aren’t really found but it’s found it’s place with the sawk and throh so it doesn’t mind too much. It ended up earning it’s respect with good old fashioned fighting and is kind of in a ‘king of the forest’ position. Scary and intimidating and bent on establishing its dominance to all that challenge it! Anyway, while Maya is exploring the mountainside of her village she finds out about it and it’s plain to see that Primeape has a certain amount of respect among the other fighting types. After having seen a cool tv episode where the hero challenges the strongest of the strong a really young Maya decides to do the same, announcing loudly when the pokemon is alone that she’s here to challenge the pokemon to a duel to the death! She runs up throws her small fist at the might and strong pokemon!

To which, not wanting to hurt this strange small child, primeape falls over dramatically, clutching the side which she hit and lets its tongue flop out all goofy in the hopes of appeasing her. Maya, not really sure what to do, honestly not even having thought this far ahead starts getting worried for the pokemon and starts crying to which it quickly gets up in a panic to reassure her its ok. From there it kind of takes on this older brother position with her. Also playing with her, letting her grab onto it as she swings throughout the trees. 

Goodness this Maya is turning out to be much more of a wild child than her aa counterpart. She’s not exactly strong, but she’s more athletic I’d imagine in this version. More nimble but can definitely have her clumsy moments on occasion. 

putting last three under cut cause THIS IS LONG. IF YOURE ON MOBILE IM SO SORRY

Number three!

Goodness I stuffed way too much into those other HCs but onto Phoenix! Anyway this also remains for the most part unchanged. What you think the pokemon world doesn’t need lawyers? Anyway, quick tanget but trainers arent really…it’s not a sustainable lifestyle, most people do it as a way of coming of age before moving into the respective field they took interest in during their travels. So no, if you have a pokemon au you don’t have to be some professional trainer. Professional battles are like a sport and trainers are athletes. Sure people enjoy it on the side but it’s NOT the norm to make it a living off of it. You have to be smart and strategic in a very complicatedf sport that takes a LOT  of training and it’s not like in the game where if you spam tackle after walking around for 5 seconds you gain XP. its more like you’re a coach training 6 athletes in how to train their bodies in the best way possible while coming up with tons of game plans. 

anyway tangent over. Phoenix is a lawyer and this taking place in the pokemon world only lends itself towards there being much more factors to consider when thinking of how murders occured. Her life with Phoenix for the most part remains unchanged but as a side note Maya encounters a lot of pokemon along the way during her travels with phoenix. She thinks strong heroic looking pokemon are cool so she tends towards pokemon like sawk and throh or conkeldurr. OH AND IVE BEEN SETTING THIS IN SPECIFICALLY UNOVA AND ONLY RESEARCHING THE UNOVA DEX FOR MAYA ND THE POKEMON THAT SURROUND HER. 

I feel like.. Audino might enter theyre little group at one point? Like Stantler comes with her when she leaves the mountain cause Stantler is a worrywart and Maya is a mess and has never been down to the big city, but Primeape is more trusting in Maya and her abilities and knows shes much stronger than a lot of people give her credit for. He doesn’t come down the mountain to be with her until much later just cause he has a pack to guide. Actually the pokemon it leaves in charge is like another pokemon Maya is close with since it was primeapes apprentice and maya and this pokemon were kids together and kind of were the babies of the pack ANYWAY SORRY TANGENT. 

aNYWAY AUDINO. A while back Audino were attempted to be integrated into crime fighting in some way since the way theyre psychic powers work they’d be able to sense overwhelming…i guess malevolence or evil or bad intentions but like. It’s just REALLY unhealthy for them and it really signifigantly lessens their lifespans just cuase all the negativity eats away at them emotionally and one of the pokemon, it’s really old honestly like it was one of the pokemon that originally was part of this attempt to integrate these pokemon with the police force and was luckily enough like it survived long enough for them to end the program and it just…can’t endure being around negativity anymore like it’s really stressful so it enjoys being around Maya just cause she is really kindhearted and senstive and good and the Wright office is filled with kind hearted people so it just takes comfort being there. It doesn’t really leave the office though and while it’s there for everyone it really does belong to Maya for the most part. 

THATS JUST AN IDEA I HAVE THOUGH IDK IF ILL MAKE THAT PART OF HER CANON

Im kind of just going off on differen points in this one huh. Like the other wre a story here im just like SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS. 

Number 4 (where diana tries to stop being ADHD and hopefully doesnt fail miserably)

Honestly you’d think being part of a back of fighting types would make her more suited towards groups and make her less selfish. Spoiler alert. It didn’t  If you think Maya is good at making people do what she wants now you shouldve seen her when she was a kid. Though it also means shes got a entire pack of fighting types who will die for her and if you make her cry you better be sorry. and if youre not you’re going to be.  

Oh and also dont think that just cause Maya is a forest girl that oh shes strong and knows how to fight cause like. She really doesn’t. Honestly the pokemon around her kind of coddled her and outside of her gaining enough stamina to hold up against running around with her pokemon friends she’s not really….all that much stronger. She doesn’t know how to fight either. She can jsut run really fast and is more likely to attempt more dangerous things that she’s seen other pokemon do cause WHY NOT. She basically just has more dangerous influences lol

Number 5 cause i want to wrap this up a bit

Oh boy now what can i do for a fifth one lets see… see the thing is Maya is basically the same between the two versions of her except for certain like physical differents that I just listed. 

I guess here’s one but she doesn’t….she’s not a good trainer. Like her team, right now, is an old man of an Audino. A Stantler that can only do hallucinations and is kind of bad at fighting and then this powerhouse of a Primeape. 

The Primeape is a GREAT fgighter but tends to keep to the mountains unless it starts missing her and comes downt o visit real quick. Her other two are just…weak. Maya though is really good at thinking on her feet so she can use what her pokemon do have to come up with some great strategies. Thought his doesnt reall come out unless shes backed up against the wall. See the reason why everyone percieves Maya as stupid and useless is because that’s how she percieves herself. Maya for the most part does what she can in what she think she can do but doesn’t really let her true intellect show because shes convinced shes an idiot. She kind of jokes around with bad ideas but she really is quick on her feet and good in a clutch.

So the only time you see her good skills with her pokemon and coming up with inventive ways for these basically powerless pokemon to get her out of tight situations is when literally shes by herself, there’s no one else to rely on and lives are on the line.

[onlyjihoons]

collegebf!jihoon

a/n; congrats to jihoon for being accepted into uni;-;-; and btw pls pardon the mb that was the closest thing i could find to college jihoon in my laptop

masterlist// requests are open

major: theatre/acting

wanted to take up aerospace technology, but decided to go for his real passion instead

got in through rolling admission, didnt have to face the stress of college entrance examinations

however a very talented actor, able to shed tears in 30 seconds

havent had his first kiss despite acting since five,, and people are shook lol

has looks crafted by the acting gods, visuals made for acting

able to pull off both bad roles and good roles

honestly very friendly and humble young actor, seniors are certain he will make it big in the industry one day

will greet classmates and lecturers good morning and bid them goodbye

lowkey enjoys classics like romeo and juliet, lord of the flies, julius caesar, animal farm 

does well in the prose section in tests because he reads widely 

actually a well all-rounded student, perfect 4.0 gpa in every semester

took up ballet in high school oops and hence knows every scene in ballet classics like sleeping beauty

sings and raps decently, a good dancer too,, a literal golden child lol

but below the perfect boy surface,, jihoon is an avid gamer who always occasionally stays up till the wee wee hours of the night to play games

like overwatch sorry guys that’s the only game i know

sometimes will arrive to class late, hair in a mess and last night’s pyjamas 

but at the end of the day he does well in everything without even trying so the lecturers just let him be

you didn’t even know why you took up theatre,, maybe its because you scored an A in literature during your college entrance exams

communications was too controversial for you anyway

you had zero to little acting experience, the only experience you had was pretending to be sick in school

like jihoon, for the prose section of tests you would score full marks most of the time

but drama section was your pitfall

not that you couldn’t act, but you had a fear of being on camera

selfies with friends are fine, but you just don’t like your pictures being taken in general

one day, your lecturer gave out an assignment, apparently it’s paired work and your partner has already been chosen beforehand

you liked pair work, and honestly one of the only ways you can pull up your grades for the drama section

once you received your assignment, you read the name below yours in bolded itallic,

park jihoon

you sighed, you were afraid of being a burden to the golden student, since he already has secured his own distinction anyway

you were acquaintances with jihoon, but not that close to be friends either

“y/n!” jihoon settled into his seat beside you, “i’m glad we are partners, at least you won’t be like some of the girls in this class…”

you smiled weakly, thankful that he didn’t have a bad impression of you already, “what about them?”

“they always wanted to add a kiss scene in the plot, just to kiss me, its just, ugh.” this was the first time you’ve seen jihoon getting annoyed, and you found it cute honestly

“that’s gross, but don’t worry, i wont make you kiss me, i don’t think you’d want to either.” you patted his back, and you swore that you saw a tinge of hurt in jihoon’s eyes momentarily 

“thanks y/n.”

for the first 2 days, you and jihoon practically breezed through the prose section, sharing your favourite scenes of the classics

“romeo and juliet was a good ending”

“no, they should’ve ran away with each other”

despite conflicting ideas the both of you worked well together and became much closer than before

at first you thought jihoon was a little bit of a tsundere, but the more you knew him, the more goofy he seemed

like how he liked penguins, and has a few penguin stuffed toys on his bed

and you also learnt that jihoon used to do classical ballet in high school, which was lowkey a surprise for you

then came the drama section, the both of you decided on romeo and juliet

wow im so basic sorry guys

you didn’t force jihoon to kiss you too, so the both of you just settled with jihoon putting his thumb in between the both of your lips

or almost kissing

bahbam y’all “kissed”

jihoon told you it was a method actors use so that they don’t really kiss the actress,, and he pulled out that card for all of the girls who wanted to kiss him lol

he even was super sweet about the whole thing, asking if you were uncomfortable and stuff

you always said you wouldn’t but your heart would race whenever he did a tiny bit of skinship like hugging or holding your hand

ultimately, it was just for the grades, right?

wrong.

jihoon had the biggest crush on you ever since the both of you were in the same class

he was just scared of approaching you, scared that you would think he’s trying to get into your good books

so he was really excited when the lecturer announced that you were his partner

and when you said “i don’t think you’d want to either” to the kiss he was lowkey slumped bc it meant to him that you thought of jihoon as a normal friend and not something more

so on the day of the drama showcase, jihoon could sense your nervousness

usually you were ok but today you werent

“what’s up y/n? are you not feeling well?”

“i have a phobia of being on camera,” you wrung your hands together, “sorry jihoon, i’m bringing down our grades–”

“no, y/n, look at me.” jihoon made you face him, his features gleaming under the light, “we’ll overcome this together. i promise.”

“how?”

jihoon then swooped down and kissed your lips, which definitely took you aback

“w-what”

“just imagine the camera isn’t there, and there is no one in the classroom except us.” jihoon smiled, as if the kiss didnt happen

you were definitely calmer than before, weirdly, and nodded.

when it was you and jihoon’s turn, he gave your hand a small squeeze 

it went pretty smoothly, with no camera-fright for the first time

until the kiss scene, jihoon actually kissed you for real

and the whole class was shooketh bc park jihoon,, kissing a girl for the first time?? wowzers

in the end, both of you got your As and you got yourself a boyfriend out of it too

honestly jihoon is more of a homebody than you think

he would want to stay at home rather than go out on dates

so he would invite you over to his dorm, to watch movies or just cook for him lol

sometimes he would ask you to play games with him too, but you’d fail

he would be somewhat addicted to his games too, so you have to get through all means and ways to get his attention back on his work

dont be surprised if he calls you at like 3am telling you hes hungry

and you only read it the next morning

“did you see the message i sent you?”

“no…?”

“i sent it at 3am and it said 2 ticks…”

“you’re gaming again?? YAH PARK JIHOON”

“hahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAH yes im sorry babe please forgive me:

has his designated seat beside you in every class

sometimes the lecturer has to call him out for being too clingy to you and its embarrassing when everyone just has their attention on the both of you

save this clingy baby please

will help you hold your notes,, and sometimes clean up with you at your dorm or home

your mother loves him already even tho she only met him through facetime

likes to go to find all the ramen stores in the vicinity and try all of them out

also likes taking pictures of you when you dont notice

and sets it as his kkt bg

your contact in his phone is saved as baby girl💓💕💖💗💘💞

and his contact saved on your phone is baby boy❤💙💚���💜

you know those boyfriends who treat their girlfriend like theyre their entire universe? yup thats jihoon

and like his eyes light up whenever he talks about you its just so endearing

likes to be the big spoon when cuddling just so he can engulf you in his arms

hardly gets mad but even if he does its not that serious and over something stupid like him losing his notes or something

jihoon knows where to draw the line, when you need to study he tries not to disrupt you

keyword: tries

overall, a clingy but sweet koala as your bf, you could never ask for more

[ask-svt-hearteu]

college! Jun

Anon requested: “hullo!!! can i request a college!au for jun? (in the point form and stuff) thank you && i love your aus and posts in general <3”

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 2541

A/N: I legit thought this AU would be easy to write. Turns out, writing someone as a college student when you're not a college student is hard af. I apologize in advance if this was written poorly and didn't reach your expectations lolol -admin soph

double majoring in Performing Arts 

particularly in Dance Focus just like Minghao 

and a Theatre Arts Major in Acting 

has a scholarship so double majoring made it possible for him

having double majors made him really busy all the time 

but he still manages to have time for his friends 

whenever he has free time,

can always be seen in the picnic area of the Campus with his other major friends 

or usually with Minghao, Joshua, and Wonwoo reading in the corner of the university library 

talking about how the author should’ve just done this or that 

when they really should be reading up for the upcoming semester exam

"I dont understand why we need to learn about the history of tap dancing for a whole week." 

"Because the professor likes to give us busy work get over it." 

"Honestly just slap stuff on a paper and he’ll give you an A" 

"Shouldn’t you guys be studying on your upcoming Music Theory test." 

"Shush Joshua." 

or in the studio going through the choreo he, Minghao, Hoshi and Chan made for a performance project and the upcoming winter recital 

or just staying in his dorm, catching up on sleep 

when a show is announced to happen 

he works double 

like seriously

the shows are where theyre able to showcase their talents and what they major in 

so performance majors and theatre majors are made to perform on the same day 

and it stresses him out a lot but he always make sure to do his best 

he has to make and memorize like 2 choreographies with his dance team for the dance performance and has to memorize his lines and get into his character for his acting performance 

even with all these work he would still try to try other things 

like singing and rapping ∙

he can sing pretty well to be in fact but just like Minghao, people wont give him vocal lines for shows smh

outside his major classes, he only chose to take one minor course and that was Linguistics in Korean Language 

thats the only course you both have together actually 

youre an Astronomy Major 

and the only courses you take outside of your major is Linguistics and History 

you have been in Korea for some time now but you still haven’t mastered the language so you thought the Linguistics course might help

you and Jun dont talk much though 

the only time you two were able to talk was when the professor partnered the two of you together and made you guys differentiate different satoori accents 

and that one time you bumped into him on your way to the library 

you also always see him in the picnic area with his friends when you wander around different departments 

sometimes you would sit either on a bench or under a tree, reading a book and you would hear music coming out of a speaker near you 

and you'll see Jun with his dance team practising 

you also noticed how different he is when he is with his friends 

in class, he is this quiet reserved guy sitting at the back, listening to the professor while spinning a pen around his fingers 

with his friends, he is really outgoing and a huge dork 

you would hear him exchanging jokes with Wonwoo and you would quietly laugh at how corny it is 

"What did the dog say to the wall?" 

"Jun stop it's now funny an-." 

"Wolwol" woof woof" in korean

"Aish. Why am I even friends with you?" wonwoo mutters as he quietly think of a better joke

you also would hear him messing around with Joshua 

"Im still offended that you didnt want to go biking with me again after what happened last semester." 

"Hyung. When we got back I honestly thought I was going to pass out right there and then. And you kept leaving me behind." 

"Because you kept taking selcas whenever we took a break, istg Junhui."

and you would hear him talking about a dance he found on youtube with Hoshi 

"They werent hitting the beats on time." 

"Yes but they were expressing the lyrics with their dance." 

"But hitting the beats with the dance moves would look better. And with the dance moves they’re doing, its possible." 

and mostly him just annoying Minghao 

"Jun I swear, stop."

"Were getting all thug now are we?"

"wE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK ABOUT THAT." 

okay so you were just sitting alone in the University Library, studying for your upcoming test about Astronomy History 

when someone just sat down infront of you 

causing you to slightly jump back from your seat 

"Oh jesus christ jisoos chirst Jun, you scared me." 

"Sorry, my friends wont let me study in peace and all of the tables are taken and you’re the only one I know. I was just wondering if I could study here instead?" he softly smiles at you hopefully

your internally squealing at how adorable he looked with that smile with his messy hair and black hoodie and sweatpants asdfdksla

"Yeah of course, no problem." 

"Thank you." 

and with that, he brought out his books and you both were studying quietly

you can see him looking at you every once and a while 

it made you anxious tbh 

because you thought you had something on your face 

a few minutes later he just put down his book and spoke 

"We don’t talk that much, what major are you?" 

"Im an astronomy major" you replied as you close your book 

"You study space. Wow. Well, I double major in Performance Arts and Theatre arts. " 

you nod, "yeah I see you in shows and recitals. " 

"Oh so you watch me," he smirked, teasing you

you try not to let the blush creeping up show, but before you can reply,

"Im just kidding~ " he chuckles, smiling at you 

"just study" you huff, jokingly being annoyed, that pink flush on your cheeks

 you wont deny that Jun is pretty handsome

and pretty dAMN HOT

and you were pretty sure that you were just attracted to his face since you still dont know him that well 

so you were confused as hell as to why you were blushing and your heart was beating so fast

minutes passed and you still were thinking about why you and your face reacted like that

you didnt even notice Jun looking at through the top of his book

and glancing up, you looked right back at him 

both of your gazes meeting 

you wanting to look away but his eyes, they sparkled like the shining stars you see through a telescope

it looked like a whole different galaxy 

you were able to regain your self-control and you averted your gaze back to what you were reading 

so you didn’t see him stare at you longer for a moment, dazed by your eyes

tired of studying, you have just been rereading the same paragraph over and over again 

you just wanted to go to the student cafe and get a mocha latte 

somehow, Jun read your mind 

"You have been staring at that page for forever, you wanna take a break and go the cafe?" 

"Did you just read my mind Wen Junhui?" you chuckle

"What if I did y/l/n y/f/n?" 

"Then you should already know my answer" you wink playfully

he just grins at your response 

on the way out, you guys passed by Junhui's table of friends 

one of them was a girl 

so you figured that it might be one of his friends girlfriends 

"Me and y/n are going to the student cafe, if you need me, I'm there," Jun said to them before waving goodbye 

the whole 10 minutes walk to the cafe was filled with a lot of talking 

Jun told you about how he met his friend Minghao 

how he literally spat on his face on their first meeting because of his braces 

you told him why you decided to move to Korea 

why you decided to take Astronomy 

arriving at the cafe, you both ordered your lattes and sat at a booth near the window

as you both were talking, the conversation got kind of serious

Jun told you about why he chose two majors 

because he didnt want to limit himself to only one

and that he also found his passion for dancing growing through the majors he took 

the two of you talked about how its hard to be away from your loved ones 

mostly about yourselves was the main topic 

after hours that seemed like minutes of talking, 

you both exchanged numbers and went back to your dorms 

you both started hanging out a lot after that 

he memorized your schedule, you memorized his 

knowing when the other was free, the two of you also had this cycle 

he would visit you in your department, get a latte, and walk to the library 

sometimes you would be the one who would visit him 

but the cycle goes on 

you learned a lot about him 

you learned that he is basically this tall cat person who is a big dork on the inside 

he would text you lame ass jokes at 3am 

he would even call you at 3am just to remind you that he is handsome

which is true, but he didnt have to wake you up at 3am to remind you that

and the more the two of you hung out, the more your feelings for him deepens 

he is just this precious dork that you want to protect 

today was Jun's free time 

before you could text him and ask if he wanted to hang out, 

he beat you to it 

‘A little birdy told be were both free. Do you want to stop by at the studio and hang out with us? :>’ 

‘Sure Hui. Are they okay with me being there?’ 

‘Of course, dont worry about it." 

"Okay see you in a bit." 

you decided to buy lattes for everyone before going to the studio 

they’ll be tired from practising so you really didnt mind buying 5 lattes 

when you got there, they were sitting in the middle of the room, sweating and panting 

you greet them and hand them their lattes

"Thank you y/n~ Jun your girlfriend is the best." Hoshi giggles, making you stutter

 "I-I’m not his girlfriend,” you say half chuckling

"Yet." he whispers, you not hearing

you have only hung out with his friends a few times 

but they already made you feel like you were part of the group, talking with them for hours 

they even let you watch the recent dance they made for a project

and ofcourse, they kept teasing you and Jun

"Jun how dare you let your girlfriend walk around campus alone." 

he glances at you, with a look you can’t decipher

"She isn’t my girlfriend."

after a while, you decided it was time to go back to your dorm 

you said your goodbyes to them before going 

"You like her. Be honest." Minghao says as he nudges Jun 

"Maybe I do, she doesn’t feel the same." Jun sighs

"Theres only one way to find out." Hoshi points out, grinning 

"Ask her out." Chan says as he pats Jun on the back 

"I will." Jun smiles at them, trying his best to be confident 

okay so your request of using the observatory room has been accepted

today was your free time, so what better way to spend it other than stargazing 

you invited Jun but he still hasn’t responded 

so you went there on your own 

you honestly liked being alone with the stars 

it made you feel at home 

after staying there for a while Jun texted you saying that he’ll be there in a few minutes 

when he came, you were laying down on the floor and just looking up in the sky 

so he just lays down next to you 

it stayed like that for a few minutes 

"Did you know that we’re basically made from stardust? Its amazing to think that those beautiful stars are made from the same thing." you say, breaking the silence 

"Is that really true?" he asks, turning to you 

"I like to believe that its true” you say softly, continuing to stare

"It probably is. Because ever since we talked, you have been my brightest star in my darkest days." he said in a whisper like manner,

but you still heard it 

you didnt say anything else 

your heart was beating rapidly at this point 

you were honestly biting the inside of your cheek just in case you were dreaming 

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING 

you were basically freaking out inside 

"What?" you ask nervously

"....I was just wondering...if you want to go have dinner with me sometime?" he asks shyly 

"Like a date?" you say, turning to stare at him

"Doesnt have to be! Lets just pretend I didnt say that" he says quickly 

"Oh, too bad. I was gonna say yes." you reply, teasing him

"....really?" his eyes brightening

“Yes Hui." 

with you still laying on the floor, he sits up, grabbing your hands

staring down at you

"Then I take it back,” he smiles happily, “Will you go have dinner with me sometime?"

"I would love to Junhui." you reply, smiling back

and so he lays back down, closer to you this time

your shoe grazing his leg

his hand gently looping your fingers in his

when Junhui told his friends that the two of you were dating, 

almost in unison, "WE KNEW IT!!" 

after a while, it started spreading across Junhui's department and yours 

you honestly didnt know it would be this big of a deal 

Jun would always visit you 

AND I MEAN ALWAYS 

even on days where he is really busy, he would still visit you 

you find it really sweet 

and loving that smile that would light up on his face, 

you would also visit him at his studio 

the boys have taken you in as one of them 

it feels like you’re a part of this big family 

and Jun being cheesy, for the first and last Saturday of every month,

he would reserve the observatory and you two will spend your free time there 

he would put a blanket on the floor and bring food 

and you two would stargaze, eat and talk for hours

or Jun saying pick up lines for hours

"I must be the Sun and you must be Earth, cause the closer we get, the hotter you become." he says winking 

"Jun...why." you say, covering your face in slight embarrassment

"No~ dont cover your face. I want to see the way stars shine in your eyes." he replies cheekily

"Jun one more I swear. Where do you even get all of these?” 

you say questioning why you fell for this huge dork

as you blush really hard

“from my love for you”

Jun honestly loves making you blush 

looking at you, awed by your rosy cheeks

pulling you in close and wrapping his arms around you 

he kisses your head 

“My love for you is like the universe. Incredibly big and expanding vastly everyday."

MASTERLIST

[thewannaone]

Hi!! I loved your Harry Potter au for Wanna one and if you're familiar with the Percy Jackson series (most ppl aren't so I wouldn't be surprised tbh), could you do w1 as demi-gods? Like how they got to camp, their godly parent, camp life etc

omg no percy jackson used to be my life when i was in highschool thank you so much for this ask!!!!!!! im mainly familiar with the first 5 books though, i havent really kept up to date on the roman versions so it’ll just be camp halfblood. also if theres any inaccuracies i apologise, i havent read them in a while :(

Jisung: Son of Hestia. (I kno Hestia is a Virgin Goddess so this is very out of canon but Hestia just fits Jisung so well). Jisung was born at the Camp, rising out of the Hearth itself. He was raised by Chiron, growing up and learning about the Gods and his Powers from day 1. He goes to school and university during the terms but for the most part he stays at camp, tending to their home. All campers know him, he’s the oldest camper there. Jisung has minor Pyrokinesis abilities, just small things like candle lighting. He often works in the kitchen, cooking up food for the BBQs. He also can sense when new campers will arrive and can often tell which cabin they belong to. He’s very caring and warm, making everyone feel welcome and often being the life of the party who everyone laughs with. He doesnt participate in Capture the Flag but loves cheering everyone on. Lives in the Big House with Chiron. Close to all the campers but becomes closest with Ong and Daniel, watching over them and keeping their powers in check. 

Sungwoon: Son of Demeter. Had a pretty normal upbringing even though he used to get weird looks as a kid for singing to plants. Grew up pretty average, even with his ADHD and dyslexia. Thought he was a really normal guy, nothing special, wouldnt achieve anything. When he reached 15 his Dad told him about his Mother and Sungwoon didn’t believe him whatsoever. Until a Satyr named Taehyun showed up at his house telling him to pack his stuff for camp before a monster killed him. Was very quick to believe then. Hangs out mostly with Taehyun at camp, though hes a lot better at agriculture stuff like gardening and cooking than training. Often sings at campfires and enjoys Capture the Flag once in a while. Used to be really terrible with his powers, always accidentally tripping Taehyun with a vine, but with practise is getting better. 

Minhyun: Son of Athena. His Father was a scientist who married another woman after Minhyun was born. He grew up thinking the woman was his Mother and didn’t learn the truth until he was attacked by a Hellhound at school. Fashioned a weapon out of his own stationary and got away with his life. Demanded answers out of his Dad but his Dad was ashamed of his Godly heritage and tried to hide it from him, calling him an abomination. Left home and eventually was given a sign by Athena as to the Camps location. Arrived at the camp safely and it didn’t take long for Chiron to explain his true heritage. He’d studied enough Greek Mythology growing up to understand quickly. Was placed in Hermes cabin until his first capture the flag game where he won using his wits and battle skill. Athena was impressed and claimed him almost instantly. Now lives full time at the camp but goes back to school during terms. Is one of the older campers and most well known. Younger campers are often scared of him and think hes too cold but he turns out to be super nice and caring, always helping them train and practise. Close with Son of Ares, Dongho, Son of Hecate, Ren and fellow Son of Athena, Jong who’s also Counselor of their cabin.

Ong: Son of Poseidon. Similar to Percy in that growing up he had a bit of a troubled childhood and was kicked out of school a few times. Was pretty young when his Mum was killed by a Manticore and spent a few years on the street, sleeping down by the docks or on the beach, hopping from place to place and not knowing what to do. It was only by fate that he stumbled upon the Camp and Chiron was very confused as to how and why he’d found it. Was put into Hermes cabin for a while and was happy to accept that his father was the God of Tricksters. Was almost disappointed when Poseidon claimed him but then was told he’s one of the most powerful demigods and was cool. Really good at capture the flag, one of the best players on the teams. Also pretty good at battle training, has very good reflexes. Also enjoys horseriding and chariot racing but is abysmal at studies and theory. Is kinda weirded out by his water powers initially but grows to love them. Even though he’s friends with everyone, he’s kinda sad that he’s the only one in his cabin, as well as the only Big 3 child so often spends time at the bottom of the lake when hes lonely. Is disappointed with the fact that even though he’s one of the most powerful, so far he’s never been given a quest.

Jaehwan: Son of Dionysus. Grew up in an orphanage and was pretty down on his luck his entire life. Went into foster care but left as soon as he was of age, kicked out of schools, found a shitty job and tiny one room apartment and did his best to keep up with his studies. Flunked out a lot due to his dyslexia. Once he reached a certain age his powers got stronger and he accidentally drove his classmate to insanity, leading him to run away again. Around this time, he was found by 2 other demigods, Sewoon and Gwanghyun who were on a quest,  and they helped him find his way to camp. Greeted by a very confused Dionysus who wondered why he looked so familiar. Ends up becoming good friends with Dionysus and enjoys helping him with camp organising. It wasn’t until they were bonding over a can of diet coke when the god finally realised that Jaehwan was his son. Jaehwan initially didn’t want to move into his cabin since he resented his father for abandoning him but they eventually are able to become close once again. Realises he’s not very good at the plant control powers (tho sungwoon tries to help him) but very good at mania and insanity which is useful at times (tho many campers think he himself is insane when they hear him laugh). Enjoys playing guitar and singing with Sewoon by the campfire and a lot of campers think he should have been an Apollo child with his skills.

Jihoon: Son of Aphrodite. Grew up in a rich family, was very used to having things go his way and people listening to him. Almost to the point of a spoilt brat. Was the most popular boy in his class and had admirers from all of his classmates. The day a Harpy showed up and attacked him, Jihoon used his Charmspeak to convince it to leave him alone. Constantly did that with monsters who attacked him, allowing him to grow up without needing the camp. Was found by a satyr who was surprised he was so unscathed and offered to take him to camp. Jihoon initially refused, saying he didn’t need protection with his power but reconsidered after his Charmspeak failed him and almost cost him his life. Was claimed almost instantly by Aphrodite, didnt need to spend any time in Hermes cabin. Is the prettiest camper, even by Aphrodite standards and constantly has both girls and boys falling for him. Is always competing with Samuel from Apollo’s cabin who arrived at Camp at the same time as him and for some reason, is immune to his Charmspeak. Jinyoung teases him saying its cause Jihoon has a crush on Samuel but Jihoon refuses to believe it. Jihoon often participates in Capture the Flag and battle training, moreso than other Aphrodite campers and is one of the most skilled fighters. Ends up going on a quest and becoming very close with Samuel, Daehwi, Woojin and Jinyoung.

Woojin: Son of Hermes. Grew up with an abusive stepfather and alcoholic Mother. Ran away from home pretty early and found a group of homeless kids named Youngmin, Donghyun and Daehwi. Youngmin took care of them for a year, slowly trekking them across the country where he revealed himself to be a satyr and that the other 3 were demigods. They were all put into Hermes cabin at first, with Daehwi and Youngmin being claimed quite early on. Woojin stayed in Hermes cabin, kinda alone with so many kids around him and unable to make friends, waiting to be claimed by his Godly parent. When the Oracle announced a quest with him, Samuel, Jihoon, Daehwi and Jinyoung everyone was very confused, wondering why an unclaimed camper would be part of a quest. It wasn’t until the day they were leaving when Hermes himself stopped by to give Woojin some winged shoes and his blessing. Woojin got a loooot of praise from other campers for getting the attention of his Father. Ended up being an asset on the Quest, picking locks and avoiding traps and very skilled at sneaking past monsters. Gets very close to all of his quest mates and gains the attention of the other campers when he gets back and shows off his skills in capture the flag and training. Becomes a lot more social and proud of himself.

Jinyoung: Son of Hades. Was a weird kid growing up, kinda a loner. Used to see ghosts and his Mother took him to therapy until he learned to just keep quiet about it. He faded into the background a lot and was shy around living human beings. Accidentally Shadow Travelled to camp one day, ending up in Hades Cabin and being extremely confused and shocked as to how he got there. Stumbled out of the Cabin into the arms of Daehwi who immediately took him to Chiron where he passed out. Woke up to see a bunch of demigods and satyrs around him wondering how he managed to enter Hades cabin. Theyre all very surprised to hear that he Shadow Travelled and therefore must be one of the Big 3. Jinyoungs initially sad to learn that theres only one other Big 3 child (Ong) and that he has no cabin-mates. Gets called on the quest however and grows closer to them all, especially Daehwi who shines very brightly to him. Daehwi and Jihoon are both very intrigued by his ghost friends and Jihoon is a bit too interested in his undead army. Like Woojin, becomes more open and skilled with his powers as time goes by. 

Daehwi: Son of Apollo. Grew up on the streets at a very early age and never knew his Mother. Was found by 2 older boys Donghyun and Youngmin who became his family. Was able to predict another boy joining them and travelling to Camp together. Woojin was very surprised when Daehwi already knew his name. At Camp, Daehwi was claimed very early, his musical and healing abilities, plus oracle like predictions were too great to ignore. He thrives in the Apollo cabin, sometimes when he gets happy he ends up glowing. His best forte is archery and his golden bow is his main weapon. He loves composing, singing and dancing, anything to do with music. He’s ok at Capture the Flag but prefers more artsy activities. He becomes very close with Jinyoung which leads people to be confused seeing as Jinyoung is dark and Underworld and Daehwi shines like the sun. But they make it work. 

Guanlin: Son of Hephaestus. Grew up in an average family and went to a special school for kids with learning difficulties. Met his best friend Seonho there who also had dyslexia and ADHD and they bonded. Guanlin was always really good at the craft section, creating things and tinkering with objects. One day he saved Seonho from a chimera that attacked him at a construction site. Guanlin controlled the machines and managed to banish it. Both were very confused as to how he did it and Seonho exclaimed that he must be a superhero. A satyr found them soon after that when Seonho kept asking Guanlin to practise his powers on little machines, like his nintendo to get Shiny Pokemon. Wound up in camp together and Seonho joined Hebes cabin. Guanlin started living in Hephaestus’s cabin and everyone was so thankful that he didnt have pyro powers given his lack of awareness at times. Is very good with his hands though, and even though hes quiet, makes the best weapons and ends up creating the magical items for the other 10 members. Ends up going on a quest with them all and, while sad to leave Seonho behind, grows close to the rest of them.

Daniel: Son of Zeus. The newest camper. Doesn’t know his past, just woke up one day and is outside the camp. Knows only his name is Daniel and that he misses his cats. The day that he arrives, it’s announced by the Oracle (Eunki) that he shall lead a Quest made up of 10 other campers. No one knows why this random, new kid who hasnt even been claimed, nor knows who he is, will be able to lead. Ong is jealous that he gets given a Quest immediately while he has had to wait for years. Ends up clashing with Ong, who calls forth his water powers to attack him from the lake. Daniel accidentally loses control and brings forth a storm. Jisung watches worridly from the side and tells Ong to calm down. The storm gathers and begins to rain as all the campers run out to see the two circling each other. Before Daniel can stop it, lightning strikes Ong out of no where and he collapses, needing immediate medical attention and is carried off to the Big House. The rest of the campers show disdain for Daniel as he’s escorted to Zeus’ cabin. Chiron explains to him that Ong is a Big 3 son and therefore there might be continually clashes between them. Daniel is apologetic, being there for Ong to wake up so he can apologise. Ong’s pride is hurt but says he wouldnt mind having someone else who understands what its like being a child of the Big 3. They grow closest together, much to the surprise of everyone and work on their powers influencing each other, creating storms and hurricanes together. Daniel becomes the best player in Capture the Flag, though Jihoon and Ong both rival him. A month into his stay at the Camp, Eunki announces the rest of the team that shall take on the Quest and also lets Daniel know that his memories shall be found on this journey, though he may not want to know them. (These memories are his past where a younger demigod, Woojin, was killed by a monster and Daniel was unable to protect him. In his grief, he lost control of his powers, creating such a storm that he begged the Gods to take away his pain, leading to his amnesia). 

The 11 of them take on the Quest with new weapons built by Guanlin such as Imperial Gold sword for Daniel and a small thin rapier for Jihoon. Though interactions with monsters and minor gods, they save each other and manage to complete the Quest, bonding and becoming a family. 

[iwillretitlethisatalaterdate]

feb 20

It’s funny how I was saying to Dyllan and this blog just the other day how I had been feeling faint at work on my four hour shifts, and how I was dreading my full day shift today, since I was there for an hour and fainted. I was reading some numbers to my boss and I remember suddenly feeling funny like I should sit down but before I could move I must have had some sort of episode, and the next thing I remember was hearing her say what’s wrong, are you okay?? And I was being held up by her and answering no. She laid me on the ground with some pillows (perfect workplace) and I came to and was kind of thinking like what the hell just happened???? And she was like “that was not okay you aren’t okay I will call an ambulance” to which I replied helllll nawwww (not verbatim) and she realised I was responsive. She sat me in a chair and kind of demonstrated to me what had happened, my leg started collapsing and I fell forward onto the counter and (again, great workplace) into a basket of tea towels, and she said my head was kind of lifting back up but falling again so she grabbed me. The whole incident only lasted ten seconds if that but it was enough to scare her and make her suggest things like stroke and epileptic fit which kind of scared me. Anyhow fortunately she was kind enough to let me go, closed the shop and called matt for me and demanded he take me to emergency. I really was grateful to be in her presence over anyone else’s as much as I enjoy working with most of the others. Mums are generally quite reliable in such situations. Anyhow Matt came and off we went to emergency and he truly melted my heart all day (and indeed we were there all day [from pre 11 to post 4]). Of course we presumed it’d be something to do with the baby but my boss’ mention of strokes and fits had me wondering. We finally saw a nurse and another nurse then a doctor and the doctor twice more and in between the short visits were long periods of waiting and laughing and spending quality time together and I honestly had such a nice day with Matt albeit not the most fantastic of venues or situations. The greatest part was when I was taken to have an ULTRASOUND meaning I got to SEE MY LITTLE BABY and I can’t lie that moment really changed everything. I’ve decided by now that it’s what I want and as I’ve mentiond we’ve had some in depth conversations that have led me to this point although I must admit from the first positive test I think I was subconsciously set on my decision to be a mum. But seeing it wriggle around and really be in the shape of a tiny little person (it’s seriously like the size of a pecan - it’s a wonder how amazing those ultrasound machine thingys truly are) just honestly overwhelmed me and I couldn’t stop smiling and being overwhelmed by the fact that my baby is INSIDE ME (wtf that is honestly so bizarre). Looonnng (literally hours) story short I left the hospital being told to drink more water basically, and probably to eat little more frequently. Nothing I couldn’t have assumed for a full day at the hospital, and I was kind of expecting like “your xy and or z levels are low so you need to do 12 or 3” but no. And I clarified several times that their conclusion was to hydrate. They also suggested if it happens again that I should go. Back. And. See. Them. Wow. This kind of just reenforces my belief that the whole medical profession is yet another government based money making scheme which is sometimes helpful but mostly financially beneficial for financially well off people. Both our mums also mentioned pregnancy when we were conversing with them about the situation. I don’t know if I’ll ever “publish” this blog but if I do and if they read this I hope this can help them, and anyone else, understand. I really didn’t want our announcement to anyone to be off the back of a medical emergency. I didn’t want it to HAVE to have been told BECAUSE I went to the hospital, as opposed to BECAUSE we were ready to tell them in whatever way we eventually choose to. I’m already nervous and scared as hell as I know they both “disapprove” to varying degrees which I understand, but am also somewhat saddened by, particularly as time goes on and we get more excited about it. At the end of the day, we discussed the pros and cons of keeping and.. not keeping the baby, and together decided that we choose the next step in our lives. And I hate that I even have to justify that, and I kind of don’t even want to at all. But all my life I’ve felt like I have to explain myself to others to try minimise disappointment. Not that anyone’s ever treated me with that “respect”; I’ve no idea where I’ve learnt such a self depreciating habit. My life is my choice and although I’ve not necessarily made all the right ones, they’re mine. And this is ours. I’ve never been with someone the way I am with Matt and I don’t need to divulge our relationship and deepest feelings to anybody and I refuse to. People see the fights we have but they don’t see the love we share because we are private people in that sense and it’s for us. And as much as I HATE having to say this, believe me, it’s there. And it means a lot to me that it’s mostly kept between us and that we know how we feel and what we want and how secure we are. And maybe someday one or two kids in or MAYBE even before that, something will happen that results in the feelings fading or being destroyed or whatever it may be but it won’t change how I’ve felt and what this relationship has shown me, or that I want to be a mum and have the capacity to do it on my own or shared. That was a bit of a tangent, but what I WAS trying to get at is that maybe when people find out about the baby they will think we lied about what happened today, but that’s not the case. Nor did we want to exclude or upset anybody. Until I saw the heartbeat today (which was unfuckingreal) I was honestly convinced it didn’t have one and it didnt survive and it wasn’t our time. This is also a bad habit of mine - I convince myself of the worst so as to never be disappointed or heartbroken. So i have been adamant in keeping it from anyone until we get a scan pic and confirmation of its health and reach the “safeish” point of at least 12 weeks, and Matt’s respectful of my decision. This post kind of feels long winded and indirect and mostly pointless but a lot has gone through my mind today, I was nervous for my own health and for my baby, I didn’t want to have to tell my boss or family what I wasn’t ready to, and I was kind of disappointed in the result although happy I seem to be healthy (just starved and dehydrated woops). My heart just feels really full and a little nervous but I love my sweet and caring boyfie and the little big headed baby that is actually living in my uterus (I know there’s billions of humans in existence due to this very phenomenon but it’s still tripping me out). I best go now bye 👋🏼

[onlinemarketingcourses]

PIN’s: The Future of Private Link Building

1,116 Comments 20 minutes

What I’m going to reveal in this blog post is a strategy that will likely weed out a certain section of the ViperChill audience. In other words, I’m fully aware that this blog post will make a particular type of person unsubscribe from ViperChill and likely never return. It’s certainly not going to end up on the homepage of Inbound.org.

If you are loyal to Google guidelines, the teachings of blogs like Moz and love playing by the book, then you’ll probably realise with this article that we possess a very different perspective. When I first started my internet journey – where I spent day and night trying to make a living online – I tried and tested more website ideas and angles than you would believe.

Today, I’m still pushing the boundaries to see what works. These boundaries most often pertain to SEO, since it’s what I’ve enjoyed the most over the last 11 years.

I’m in the fortunate position that my business it not tied to some employer who dictates how I have to do things when it comes to promoting web properties. As such, I’m always willing to ignore everything I previously thought about marketing and to be open to new ideas and opportunities.

This blog post details one such opportunity, but I realise it will not be for everyone. Not everyone is the position to implement it for their online business, and even if you are, you may question the ethics of what is coming up.

With that disclaimer out of the way, today I’m going to introduce you to the world of PIN’s. Just before I do that, I want to talk about why I think they’re necessary.

I Predict We’ve Got Four to Five Years Left to ‘Do SEO’ As We Know It

This isn’t some “SEO is Dead” article you see go viral in the SEO blogosphere every six months, but a genuine prediction based on how Google search results have evolved over the last few years.

Google make all of their money via ads so quite simply want more people to click on them (and more often). The less success people have with SEO, the more likely they are to move to Google’s advertising platform.

Long gone are the days when we’re presented with just 10 blue links on a page.

The White Space Between Search Results Has Increased

It’s known that the higher up the page a search result, the more clicks it will receive. Therefore, when organic search results are pushed further down the page they’re going to be receiving fewer and fewer clicks. Not only are they lower down now in mobile results due to spacing, but the change is being tested across desktop results as well.

The search result on the left includes the new extra spacing with the ads taking up far more vertical space than the search result on the right (graphic via SEMPost).

There Are More ‘Featured Snippets’ Than Ever Before

There isn’t much to say on this one besides feature snippets are to be found for millions of search queries in every industry imaginable. What, when, how and why questions are often answered with a featured snippet box.

This not only pushes ‘organic’ search results further down in search results, it also attempts to give you the answer right from the results page. We can argue whether or not it’s useful for searchers, but for SEO’s, it gives new meaning to having the top result in Google.

‘Map Packs’ Completely Changed Local Search Results

Some call them ‘map packs’, some ‘the local pack’ and some even call them the ‘snack pack’. Whatever your term of choice, after being introduced a few years ago SEO’s have been trying to figure out how to get themselves and their clients into the pack to compensate for a lack of expected search results.

After all, these local listings take up a large portion of screen real estate.

I’m not complaining about this change; I’m simply pointing it out. There’s no doubt it makes search results more useful and that is Google’s aim (usually) after all. While Google did reduce the listings from seven to three back in August of 2015, the redesign of the listings with adding spacing means not much changed in terms of organic results being seen.

Those Map Packs Now Contain Ads, Too

We’re not going back to Google updates of a few years ago to make a point about Google evolving. Just last month Google announced that the map / local / snack pack would now include ads, as shown below.

This image is a mockup by Barry Schwartz, though the real thing looks very similar

It’s interesting to follow both PPC and SEO guys on Twitter and see the difference in reaction. PPC guys are over the moon since it gives them more traffic opportunities for their clients and SEO guy’s, well…I’m sure you can guess the reaction.

Based on how Google’s past, it’s not one of surprise.

They Have All The Answers

The knowledge graph was released in May of 2012 and it’s almost disappointing when you don’t see it for queries when looking for quick answers. For example, when I want to see how my football team, Newcastle, have fared against Liverpool, I literally don’t have to click anywhere.

Whether you want to learn about how old someone is, what 12 x 56 is or who discovered Radium, Google has the results right there for you. As a searcher, I love these quick answers, but as an SEO, it’s just one more thing which has lessened the likelihood of people clicking on my website if it doesn’t appear in this box.

They Continue to Make People Scared of Link Building

Google are great at making people fearful of performing any type of SEO. After all, this was the company that introduced the rel=”nofollow” attribute so we could link out to websites without giving them “link juice”.

That isn’t the real headline for the article – I’ve got to have some fun in these serious posts – but Google have publicly cracked down on pretty much everything when it comes to link building. The list includes, but is not limited to:

Guest posting for links

Using directories for links

Utilising private blog networks

Adding links to website themes

Adding do-followed links to widgets

They literally created a ‘no-follow’ tag

That’s not all; they openly share how much human intervention is involved in finding people abusing the guidelines, rather than algorithmic. This tweet speaks volumes.

Anglo Rank was a small network being promoted on the Black Hat World forums.

Just think about this for a second. One of Google’s first employees (and former Head of Web Spam), worth millions of dollars, dedicated his time to actively targeting a tiny little network on some private forum just to scare other people away from doing the same.

The simple fact is that Google can’t figure out with absolutely certainty which links are earned, or bought, or manipulative, very effectively.

Now I’m not taking anything away from Google here. Their company is worth hundreds of billions and mine, well…isn’t. They have undoubtedly created the world’s most sophisticated search engine.

But as I said earlier, it’s far easier for them to get us to police ourselves than it is for them to police us.

Big Brands Dominate the Long Tail

As SEO becomes increasingly difficult and searches are more and more dominated by big brands, the long tail will be the final frontier of search traffic opportunities.

When I said we only have a few years left to do SEO as we know it, the long tail will be where the majority of SEO’s focus their time through on-site SEO changes and content marketing.

While we’ll still have opportunities for SEO to ‘work’, long tail search results just don’t seem to be as diverse as they were in the past. It makes sense to me that Google have some kind of ‘filter’ whereby if they’re not sure what to list for a search result, they simply show more results from an authoritative site to be on the safe side.

Logically, this makes sense, but as an SEO, it could be a worrying sign of things to come. You can see this lack of diversification above in my screenshot of the map packs as well, with Yelp dominating the first three organic search results.

The Lack of Diversity in Search Results Will Only Get Worse

If you’ve only found ViperChill recently then it was likely because of my recent article, How 16 Companies Are Dominating the World’s Google Search Results. It has been shared thousands of times on social media and been read over 40,000 times, making it one of the most popular articles I’ve ever written here.

In the article I highlighted how Hearst Media were using their brands like Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Woman’s Day to point footer links to a new website of theirs, BestProducts.com.

That strategy, which would get the rest of us penalised, continues to work incredibly well.

“Just follow the Google guidelines.” Why?

Since that post, I was also contacted by a few people associated with the brands I had featured. One of those people I talked with was Tre who works in the growth department of About.com. I had already mentioned in the article how About planned to spin off into many more verticals over the coming months, which he confirmed.

I admit I’m being a little pedantic with my highlighting, but when you’re Director of Growth for About.com you’re going to share which terms are driving traffic to one site with the team that is in charge of another.

I appreciate Tre’s replies and I’m sure there’s only so much he can say, but About.com’s real goal with their spin-off’s is to no doubt own ten search results, instead of one.

PIN’s: My Version of Fighting Back While I Still Can

When I talked about why I started using private link networks and then continued to use them after Google’s “crackdown”, my primary reason was very simple: Writing quality content and getting ‘whitehat’ links wasn’t working for me. I was being outranked by people with crappy link networks who could build their own ‘relevant’ links on a whim and I decided to fight back.

You could view PIN’s in a similar light. I am utilising them because we’re not competing on a fair playing field, and what is supposed to work is very rarely what ranks, at least in the industries that I operate in.

While I don’t wish to reveal those exact industries, let me give you an example closer to home, with ViperChill.

I will say in advance that this is a search term I really don’t care about ranking for. I have no idea how many times it’s searched for each month and honestly, I doubt it gets many searches at all.

Here are the search results for the query, ‘Future of blogging’.

My site is usually either in 10th or 11th for that term, yet by every SEO standard metric I should be number one.

I have more links to the page ranking than anyone else

I have more ‘domain authority’ than most other pages

My title tag seems more relevant than half of them

Yet in order to get more traffic for this search term, which I think I ‘deserve’ from a 10,000 word article which took me weeks to put together, all I have to do is one thing.

It’s not getting more links. It’s not improving my on-site SEO. It’s not building better connections with influencers.

All I need to do to get my traffic back is to add a sentence to the start of the article which says ‘Last updated: July 25th 2016‘.

This is a search result where how recent an article was posted is more important than whether it’s actually a good page to rank.

I don’t actually have to update the article; I literally just need to make it appear to Google – thanks to that one sentence – that my article was updated recently. This one sentence, this ‘trick’, would bring me back the ranking I feel I deserve. (Though, again, I doubt this even gets searched for. It’s just an example).

This is not theory. If you look at the first sentence of my WordPress SEO guide that’s exactly what I’ve done before, with great results.

This little change is not too dissimilar to what I need to rank in other industries. I don’t need better on-site SEO. I don’t need to build natural links from relevant sites through content marketing. I simply need to add more domains to my private link network and write more guest blog posts.

Yes, these are both tactics that are looked down upon by Google, but they still work incredibly well. In 2014 when I covered Google’s crackdown on private blog networks I did mention that they would now be less likely to care about private link networks.

In my exact words:

What I expect to happen is that Google will ease off looking into private networks. The damage is mostly done.

Why? Because they’ve already made people scared to build them. The best way to deal with people trying to game the system is essentially making us as a community police ourselves so we don’t try to game the system in the first place.

The continued use of private link networks and guest posting for SEO is part of the reason why I will get a lot of criticism from this post. How to implement these tactics more effectively, which I’ll talk about later, will be the larger reason for criticism.

The Approach to Take

One of the first ideas I had when I started out online was to assemble a team of people who could work together to build a huge website. At the time I was following the growth of TechCrunch and Mashable and saw how quickly they were able to grow thanks to having a team of writers.

My idea was to essentially connect a team of people who all worked on one website and in return everyone had a percentage ownership. The logic being that working as a team would result in the site growing faster and even if revenue or a sale price was split, we would have more success than working on our own.

It’s a similar idea a number of ViperChill readers had after reading my last article on the small number of brands dominating Google search results.

While it’s a nice idea, in theory it doesn’t work so well.

Some will want to dictate the direction of a site that others don’t agree with and more importantly, some people will put in far more work than others. If you’re writing more content than others and your articles are getting better traction, you’re going to want to increase your ownership compared to someone barely putting in any effort.

There is another option you can utilise if you wish to team up with others though, and that’s a PIN.

It comes with all of the benefits of creating your own team, without the downsides of worrying about who is contributing what work.

What the Hell is a PIN?

A PIN is a play on the acronym PBN, which is commonly referred to as a private blog or link network.

I’ve received my fair share of critics over the years for talking about PBN’s and their success – and continuing to build them – but there’s a reason I do: They work.

I simply don’t believe that playing by Google’s rules is always going to get me the results I want. In some industries I wouldn’t make the money I do without them. I don’t use them for clients, but do for my own websites.

Going forward, I think PIN’s are going to be crucial to my success in certain industries, and I think they are going to be crucial to a number of people reading this as well.

PIN, stands for Private Influencer Network.

Before you think that just means making some “friends” online and building up your connections, allow me to continue.

I define a Private Influencer Network as a group of people looking to rank their websites in Google in similar industries (but not the same) who work together to help each other reach their objectives.

Essentially, they use any opportunities they have to build links (such as private blog networks, guest blogging, interviews, blogger round-ups) to send backlinks to other people in their network. In return, other people do the same for them.

The end result is that for the work you would do to build ten backlinks, you can get twenty to forty (of the same quality) in return.

A $100,000/m PIN Operating Right Under Your Nose

I first came across a Private Influencer Network a little over a year ago. A few ‘influencers’ in a particular field were using their private blog networks to – quite simply – link to each other.

I didn’t think much of the tactic at the time, until I found another example of this happening just a few months later.

Then three months after that, I found my third example. This time it really got my attention.

A group of just five people (from what I could tell) were ranking in one of the most profitable industries online and undoubtedly making over $100,000 per month in the process. I operate in the niche, which is how I found their collaboration, and know the numbers very well.

This is when I started working on building my own, PIN.

Finally, the idea to write this blog post came to me when I found yet another PIN. One of the members of this network is one of the most well-known SEO’s on the planet and is reading this article. He already “knows I know.”

If you follow the SEO blogosphere, you’ll undoubtedly know who he is.

One of the sites they are promoting also very likely also makes more than $100,000 per month. I’m not involved in the niche, but I know others who are and with the rankings they have, those numbers wouldn’t surprise me.

I reached out to the owner of the ‘money site’ they had all teamed up to promote. I keep a private database of paid link opportunities and one of them costs more than $10,000 per year. I found their website there, so sent the main owner an email.

One months revenue spent on link building is a small price to pay when you’re doing huge numbers thanks to gaming Google.

While some would view four to five guys linking to each other to make more than $100,000/m from a one-year-old website as shady and unethical, I’m personally impressed at how well they are crushing a very competitive niche so quickly.

While there is a chance that a PIN could be “outed”, the last two examples I found were so well put together that I’m almost certain I was the only person who connected the dots.

If you’re not trying to rank in an obvious industry that’s constantly monitored by SEO’s – like blogging and internet marketing – the chances of your PIN becoming uncovered are relatively low. Much lower than having your private blog network discovered.

As you’ve probably already figured out more succinctly than I am at getting to the point, members of a PIN use any opportunity they have to ‘link out’ to take care of their whole team.

While I’ve been fairly slow on the uptake to building my own PIN, I have been slowly building them in a few industries over the last few months and I’m excited to see what the future holds.

I didn’t want to write this blog post until I had a better understanding of how to build and manage them, because managing them is actually the most time-consuming part.

You have to make sure everyone in the network is pulling their weight and giving (and getting) equal opportunities. Opportunities, of course, is code for links.

A Real-World Example of How a PIN Works

One of the websites I find myself checking for ideas and inspiration is Entrepreneur.com.

I recently found an article on the website, published by a contributor and not a staff member, which could serve as a great example for how PIN’s work.

Let me say it in bold (for those just skimming) that the example below is totally legitimate.

I’m highlighting it because it’s natural, but could have been used in a non-natural way.

While the screenshot below might be the longest ever embedded by me into a blog post, there is something much more important that I have to say about it.

There is no specific reason I have singled out this article. It was simply the first article on Entrepreneur.com when I was looking to give an example for this post. Proof of that is the date. This article is going live on July 25th whereas this article I’m featuring below is from July 22nd.

It just happened to be a great example to see a PIN (or what could be a PIN), in action.

I made the article a little shorter than the original (the screenshot was long enough, I know) but you can see the majority of it here. The first thing you’ll notice is four mentions of Weekdone. Unsurprisingly, these are all links to the company that the author works for.

A good guest article, utilised for a PIN, will link to other recommended resources that are connections of the author. The links should be relevant, but also to other people in your network so that you are ‘owed’ a link back.

Now on the surface (without my large logos stuck over the text) this looks like a totally normal article (albeit with a little overuse of linking back to the authors employer). If you do a little more research, you’ll learn that the other two highlighted companies, Zlien and Mavrck, are actually clients of Weekdone.

In other words, Weekdone likely earn some bonus points from their clients for mentioning them in an article on Entrepreneur.com. I see nothing wrong with this and it’s a one-off occurrence so it’s not done for SEO manipulation; I’m just trying to show how a PIN link looks without actually revealing one.

Essentially everything looks natural until you look under the hood. It’s normal for a client to talk about a company they use, as shown below where the relationship continues.

Once again, I’m not saying they’re doing anything wrong here. It was one of the top articles on Entreprenuer.com as I was finishing up this article (the post is only three days old) and happened to make a good example.

The truth is that Entrepreneur.com, along with Forbes and the business sections of the Huffington Post, are great resources to see mini PIN’s in action. The people who write content for these sites generally try to get as much out of writing for them as possible.

They link to their friends, and their friends link to them.

A PIN in Action

I wanted to create a graphic for this section but your understanding of the concept is far more important than your ability to decipher my poor Photoshop skills. Before it gets a little bit crazy, I have assumed that there are just two ‘influencers’ in your private network.

The yellow box is your money website (the website you wish to rank in Google).

The brown boxes are private blog sites you own (optional).

The grey boxes are link opportunities you’ve created through guest posting or similar.

While the graphic is admittedly not the prettiest (I did warn you), the concept is very simple.

Some of your private network domains will point links to the other influencer in your network, as will some of your guest posts on other websites.

In return, the other influencer will do the same for you.

Once you start adding more people to your network, things get a little bit more messy, but the principle remains the same.

When I try to visualise this with four influencers as part of your PIN it gets a little ugly, but here goes.

The golden rule you need to remember is this: If you receive a link from someone from a specific source, you need to replicate the link in kind.

So if you receive a link in a guest post from someone in the network, you need to give them a link from a guest post you write. Essentially meaning that the work you do for 10 links for yourself gets you 30-40 links in return. This number varies because sometimes it’s a bit risky (such as using blog networks) to link out to the same sites which are linking to you but you still receive more links than you would have without your network, for essentially the same work.

The Types of Links Which Are Shared

I originally tried to write these guidelines as if there were four people in a PIN but it became a little bit too complicated to read (and write). Instead, I’ll assume there are only two people in your PIN and show you what types of links you could generate or other ways to help each other.

If there are more people in your PIN, which I highly recommend, then understand that Influencer #1 will sometimes link to #2, while #4 sometimes links to number #3 and so on. It’s basically just varying the following link opportunities to keep things fair for everyone.

The types of reciprocation that can take place.

You can tweet or Facebook share an article from another influencer

You can retweet or publicly thank another influencer for mentioning you

You can utilise a guest post opportunity to link to a relevant quote or article from another influencer

If you use build private blog networks, you can use some to link to other influencers

If you find articles where comments drive traffic to your site, you can inform other influencers

When being interviewed you can link to a relevant quote or article from another influencer

Sharing link opportunities you find on your site they can utilise for theirs

Offering website design advice

Utilising Web 2.0 properties to give links and get the same in return

If performed properly, there is no reason to hide that you have a connection with other influencers in your niche. The only thing you would have to care about is that the obvious mission for having these connections is to help each other’s search engine rankings.

If you are outside of the internet marketing world you don’t really have to worry about other people finding your private link networks, but always keep a few rules in mind to avoid footprints.

Ready to Build Your Own PIN? Here’s My Advice

If you see the benefits of utilising a PIN for your own search engine rankings, and actually getting more than rankings in return, then here’s my advice for setting one up.

A PIN Must Have a Leader

As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t want to write about this topic until I had attempted to do it myself.

My short but relevant experience tells me that there has to be one person (or two at most) who is in control of the group you gather together to make sure that everyone in the team is pulling their weight.

In other words, you need to make sure that the people who are receiving links are doing their part in giving them as well.

The leader must also make sure that members of the team are active. It’s no use everyone playing along for the first few weeks while the idea is hot and then dropping off the map.

Bringing Together Your Team

While some of you may be excited about getting started on this – and some horrified that I’m even talking about it – there’s one important caveat to keep in mind.

Do not bring anyone into your team who has never shown any self-drive in terms of search engine optimisation.

If someone:

Doesn’t already have a website they wish to rank

Doesn’t regularly produce content for their own sites or others

Doesn’t have at least a basic knowledge of SEO fundamentals

Don’t invite them to be part of your network.

I assumed this would be the case from the start of building my own, but I’m even more sure of it after trying to get other people excited about the idea who weren’t actually willing to contribute to the rest of the teams’ success as a whole.

A simple test to see if someone would be right to join your network is to send a candidate over to this article and have them read about this concept for themselves.

If they don’t immediately “get” the idea and they don’t reply with something like “I can see this working well” then it’s not someone you want on your team.

You shouldn’t have to convince anyone to work with you. They should see it for themselves. If they’re against it because of ethical reasons, then that’s totally fine (and understandable) but again, it’s a sure sign that they’re not someone you want in your team.

As far as communication goes, there are a few platforms out there that would be useful.

You could create a Skype group where people get together. I certainly recommend that everyone get on a call together at least some point to make sure you all understand each other’s roles.

Slack is another good option, as you can keep up to date via their mobile app and have a history of previous agreements.

A private Facebook group is another good option.

Both Slack and Facebook allow there to be a leader who can add or remove members to the network.

The platform is really up to you. My only recommendation is not to lay out all your plans in Google Docs ;).

Take One Step Back from Your Current Niche

It should be obvious but I’ll state it anyway: You don’t want to work with people who are targeting the same keywords as you.

However, you still want to connect with people who are in a relevant niche (I’ll give you the chance to connect with ViperChill readers at the bottom of this post). For instance, if you’re promoting your real estate website then it makes sense to team up with other realtors, just not for the same region.

If you’re in the weight loss niche then it makes sense to collaborate and grow your audience with other people in that niche, but target different keywords and / or promote different types of products and services.

Whatever niche you’re in, imagine you’re shopping for that specific industry on Amazon but go back one category to find people to work with. Again, I’ll give you the opportunity to find PIN partners at the end of this article.

Footprints are Hard to Find, But Still Be Careful

From the PIN’s I’ve discovered and the ones I’m working on myself, I’ve found you really don’t have to be too careful when it comes to leaving some kind of footprint. After all, it doesn’t ring any alarm bells when Copyblogger keeps mentioning Problogger or Mashable keep linking to TechCrunch. It’s “natural” and something you can expect from the owners of websites who have developed friendships with each other.

Where you have to be careful is primarily with private blog networks and not creating footprints of clearly linking back and forth to each other from the same sites at all times. Of course, you don’t have to use private networks, but remember for each link you give out, you can get three to four back, so it can dramatically speed up the process of ranking your site.

You Need to Know How the Microphone Works

And how to sing.

One of my favourite authors, Daniel Priestley, said the following in his book The Key Person of Influence;

You don’t need to know how the microphone works, you need to know how to sing.

He was referring to the technology behind the microphone and how, when it was first invented, your time would have been better spent learning how to sing than how a microphone worked, if you wanted to reach a lot of people.

When it comes to ranking in Google, I don’t think that’s the case. You need to know how the microphone works and how to sing.

There are going to be people who worry I’m encouraging armies of people to come together to take over the Google search results.

The truth is that I don’t believe people who can’t sing – in this case, can’t produce great results for search engine users – will have much long-term success.

There’s no point putting all of the work into your PIN if the end result is going to be a crappy website.

The third example of a PIN that I mentioned earlier now easily does in excess of over $100,000 per month. What I didn’t yet tell you is that they built a fantastic resource for their industry. The site doesn’t have many pages (less than 50), but each one genuinely solves a question that a particular searcher is looking for an answer to.

I don’t view utilising a PIN as a way to “sneak” up the Google results and send thousands of visitors to an ad-riddled website.

Instead, I see it as a way to help you start getting great content noticed that could attract natural links once it is.

I mentioned at the start of this article that I would likely weed out some of the audience of ViperChill. I want to make it clear though that I’m not trying to help people with shitty websites rise to the top of Google.

While I believe there is a great opportunity here, it isn’t easy. Turning the concept into reality sounds much easier on paper (or in a blog post).

The truth is that when it comes to making money online, most people are, quite simply…lazy.

They may be excited about this idea for a few weeks but if you’re going to use this to rank in an industry worth ranking for, you should be aiming for keywords that take a few months to get any serious traction for.

Links Aside, The Connections You Build Can Be Invaluable

I’ve already briefly talked about the other benefits this kind of network can have, besides link building.

You can connect with people who have a genuine passion for your industry who in turn spur you on to put more work into your site and help you improve your online ventures. Whether that’s giving advice on your design, your writing, your strategy or anything else.

Working online can seem lonely at times, especially if your offline friends don’t have an inkling to do anything online. When you’re aiming to make money from your web projects it’s nice to find other people on the same journey.

In my future of blogging post a few years ago, one of the most popular on the site, I mentioned how some bloggers had worked together to help grow their respective audiences in the same industry.

TechCrunch and Mashable grew incredibly quickly at the same time while investors were putting more and more of their money into web-based projects. They mentioned each other thousands of times.

Smaller operations – though still huge – like Copyblogger and Problogger would guest post on each others’ sites, promote each other’s products, send traffic to each other via their email lists and essentially enhanced both of their own images through their connection.

I took the time to actually figure out how many times some sites mentioned each other, which you can see in the graphic below.

While links were a key factor in all of these partnerships, I wouldn’t essentially class them as private link building. Most of the links didn’t include any specific anchor text and they weren’t to random affiliate sites or anything like that. All of them were trying to build authoritative online businesses and found someone with a similar passion on the same journey.

While TechCrunch and Mashable were almost in direct competition with each other, they still highlighted the stories that the other site got to first. Michael Arrington later sold TechCrunch to AOL for $25m. Pete Cashmore is still the CEO of Mashable though according to Politico.com, is trying to sell the site for around $300-$350m.

That’s a partnership that certainly paid off for both of them. Pete holding out six years on his sale seems to have been a smarter choice, however.

A Facebook Group to Find PIN Partners

For what is probably a very limited time only, I’m giving access to a private Facebook group where people can assemble together to potentially build their own Private Influencer Network.

I don’t want the comments here to be full of pitching opportunities, so let’s take this elsewhere to see what industries you’re working with. To be approved for the group you must leave a comment here with your Facebook name or put your Facebook initials at the end of a comment. Facebook will likely recommend the group to people who have no idea what PIN’s are and I don’t want to do a lot of moderating.

Don’t reveal your exact niche when you start a discussion, just simply zoom out of your niche and reveal a higher category that you would like to work in. You can find the group here (remember to comment to be approved).

Thank you, as always, for reading.

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[kawaiianimeredhead]

@ijustcantwaittobeme hi!

Thanks for the reply and encouragement!

I actually have a lot of ideas for the narrative kinds! Theres several channels I follow that do really neat (and extremely relaxing) ones that honestly make me feel really inspired (and relaxed and sleepy). They are very very well thought out and creative in ways that give me all kinds of ideas for my own take on things and my own original stuff.

One person in particular that I watch does almoat exclusively narrative videos that are all connected. Hes created his own kind of world with like a dozen or so characters and lore. Different videos will have refrences to previous ones in that kinda cheeky way of like a joke or a subtle (or not) easter egg. As far as I can tell there isnt a specific over arching plot to the whole, but I think it works with this medium since it is ment to be relaxing and most if not all have goal of putting the viewer to sleep which could make plots a but difficult, but theres themes and jokes that carry over enough to make it fun. For example, he had a video that took place in a lost and found which set up for lost of items from other videos to appear and chances to reference other characters.

A lot of the ideas ive had so far are heavily based in stories I thought of when I was younger, some I attempted to write down and other I juat kept in my head but all ones I had trouble expressing? Especially the ones I actually attempted to write. Its possible if I kept at it I could get them down in written form or maybe a different style of video? But at the sams time this feels Right. The close personalness of it, just seems like a fun place to play around with. Maybe its because I always had trouble writing in third person and also constantly would create characters that were very obviously self inserted lol

I also have some ideas for some of the non narrative things, although thats a little more broad because it can just be like "tapping" and boom thats like its own video. But every now and then ill be doing something and thing about how nice it sounds and how id think other people in to ASMR might like it. I think I had another thought about this but forgot it oops

For as long as I can remember ive been a pretty quiet person. Maybe not always in voice, I get very excited sometimes, but in action. I constantly scare my parents and sometimes friends because I dont walk loudly and never know how to announce my presence (after a while id start purposely shuffling my feet of sniffleing as I walked up vut sometimes I forget or they still dont hear ) so theres this kind of Fit I feel in the ASMR genre. And I feel like if I just had microphones attached to me for a day id have a pretty decent video once all the obviously loud sounds were edited out all by accident tbh

And youre absolutely right about equipment, I know theres plenty and cheap starting points that I probably will go for once I start. The biggest hurdle right now is motivation and premptive overwhelming-ness/anxiety about findinf a starting point. I am very bad at starting things... And some times continuing them, but especially the starting point.

Another factor is just my environment. I plan to move in November which is when I really do want to Start something with this, but right now my house feels really Tired and just kinda meh which is doesn't help the motivation problem and really doesnr seem like a good setting for relaxing based videos...

And lastly, its silly in a way, but I already have a specific microphone in mind. i don't know if its exactly the "best" and I think a decent amount of the channels I watch have changed to different microphones, but its a microphone that all the channels I watched have had at one time or another so thered a weird like Thing with it in me lol. Its not what these channels started with, I know I could start with something else, but im weirdly atrached to this one. Its a binaural Mic that has silocone (or something like that) ears. I think theyre neat. The cheapest one they have isnt actually that bad, a bit up there but doable for me, but because I havent read around on whereever ASMR video making advice would ve (probably reddit) I'm not sure what else I might need? And then since I plan to ve moving I have a hesitence about buying anything. Moving shouldnt really ve that expensive, I'm not going far, but since id be on my own theres a part of me that keeps screaming and reminding me about money and like respisible things or whatever (theres also a dad giving bi-weekly lectures about spending habits) and so that also kinda stops me?

I think I got all my thoughts lol, my dog abd my stomach distracted me a couple times and I typed all this on my phone so I may have more I forgot about but eh

It all really has been on my mind a lot lately which has been fun ans exciting. And so i get kind lost in it all. Its kinda a weird thing and I know its not for everyone, but the parts of the youtube ive been around in have been really fun and lovely. Theres so many wonderful creators that, imo, are doing so many wonderful things and idk I just wanna join it? Join them. And its fun and exciting!

And its always ok to comment! I'm just super bad at responding abd replying 😖 I get distracted and forgetful...