#but im so glad i told you

[glaivegirl]

that's her hand, my bunny ears

id never have been able to break free and begin seeing myself as a girl and as wanting that, wanting to be such a feminine beast

id never have been able to explore being trans without her

maybe not never, but she's why i got there sooner, she's why i could see myself in those early days, she's who had my back

she saw me being a woman, or whatever i am, as good and happy and beautiful. she was who made me really see it as something that could be good instead of something awful and a nuclear-level wrong.

she's why transness and me being a transfem, she's why i could see it without only focusing on the shame and the humiliation that comes with knowing how people react to trans people, and how people react to some lumpy, awkward fat dude saying he wants to be a girl

but she was there, and she loved me and how i wore dresses and makeup and how i still held some womanly way about me when i was in jeans and a hardhat or a green apron, trying to act like a normal masculine guy even at starbucks

she was all that let me stop being afraid juuuust enough to see myself, and i know i dont owe all my life to her

but i when i think if she wasnt there and i think of struggling with that any more than i already was, any longer than i already was; it sounds fucking horrific

and it sounds horrific because it was, and being in the closet is torture and agony and suffering; but being too scared or ashamed or guilty to see yourself? to see only a closet when you look at yourself?

fuck that was hell. even if everything just gets worse and even if id have had some cushy $40k/yr salarycock job rn, if i wouldnt be able to see myself, to really see her, that sounds like a hell i just couldnt handle. And i know, i handled it and it was worse than anything. And it broke me worse and worse every year

I cant imagine the hell i was in going on longer than it did, i cant imagine how much it would suck to live like that, the whole thing just getting worse

maybe its not like that for everyone, but i was breaking, all of me was just breaking, and i cant imagine my life if she wasnt there to help me slow down the breaking, i cant imagine how much life wouldve sucked so much worse if she wasnt there with me, noticing the things i was noticing, noticing other things i didnt see, trying to see the things i saw and she didnt and loving it, feeling the joy of it, excited to see whatever it was pop out suddenly like a rodent blending into some dirt and wood and then you see a cute animal out of nowhere, it was kinda like that

she really helped me see myself, i owe her my life for that, and her love was true and she knew me, all of me, and she was always ready to accept it and love it and grow with it

she was why it eventually felt okay to be trans and to be myself and live instead of something else that isnt quite death

she ended that hell early, she said it was okay for me to be girly

she made me believe it was okay for me to be womanly and a girl and it was a miracle that she pulled that off

she was an angel

she remains a miracle

ill always miss you more than i can fucking stand

ill never stop

ill never stop missing you, kat

i owe my freedom to you, i owe you my life

funny, ha-ha, stupid irony or coincidence always sucks so bad when it wraps around you

but its true

you saved my life, kat

you made me feel safe

[formulanni]

MAX VERSTAPPEN!! YOU ARE A 4 TIME WORLD CHAMPION!

Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls @brawngp2009

[casualavocados]

Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023) behind the scenes

[positivelyadhd]

reminder that making time for your friends, even when you're tried and socialising feels overwhelming is important to do every so often. it's especially important to do this actually.

time alone can be good, for a time, but humans are social creatures and we need to talk to people, there's nothing wrong with that!!

sometimes the more time you spend alone the more your brain will tell you to stay alone. that's not true, you're allowed to (and should!!) see people that are important to you. sometimes that alone can be surprisingly healing.

[ihavealavalamp]

You Were Cool, The Mountain Goats [x]

[blueskittlesart]

just wanted to say i enjoy cottontail a lot and can’t wait to buy it when the full graphic novel is available, whenever that may be :)

screenshotting this and sending it to publishers instead of my manuscript

[daily-hanamura]

[kevinsdsy]

yk how tragic it is for me to think “omg i love shawn anderson i wonder if there are any new thoughts/headcanons under his tag!” just to realise that he hasn’t said a single line in the book and it’s ME who is providing the silly fanon thoughts………

[xxplastic-cubexx]

chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment

[jesterjaxx]

Uh ok this says gay confessional so I needed to confess smth gay

Before my girlfriend and I got together she mentioned to me that she liked reading haikus so I wrote her a series of anonymous haikus that I would put in her locker and at some point she found out it was me, and she wrote me a haiku that she handed to me, and with it she gave me a picture of one of YOUR DJ x Duncan drawings and said that it reminded her of us. Right after she kissed me. IT WAS LIKE SMTH OUT OF A FANFIC

OH MY FUCKING GOD??? i think im winning as an artist holy shit someone used my art like a plot device in a fanfic congrats on the girlfriend also that is such a cute way to court and confess to someone

[faaun]

my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you

[alchemania]

Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.

Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!

It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[watatsumiis]

you know when you see pics of older people from when they were in their early adult-hood years and and turns out they were BANGIN’ hot. like they-definitely-had-a-line-of-lovers type of sexy. Pierro.

YOURE SO SO REAL FOR THIS LIKE GENUINELY. Like. Pierro is that brand of old man crunchy where like.. he aged like a fine wine most certainly, but its so easy to tell that he looked like a greek god in his youth - chiseled jawline, striking eyes, that easy confidence that comes from a life of having pretty privilege thrust upon you from pretty much the moment you came out--

Like.. i feel like he wouldve looked like the grunge aesthetic young adult they slap on the front of album covers where he looks sunken and tired but in a totally dashing way, with wind-tousled hair (honestly i never even thought of his original hair colour until now. i just imagine it white/grey because thats SO him. i could see it being brown, maybe blond?) and eye bags that look like they were dabbed on delicately with eyeshadow and a brush.

but even with all of that i do also just see him looking like he was just straight up carved from marble with his broad shoulders and the confident way he stands. Like he was drop dead gorgeous, the folks of khaenri'ah swooned over him, most everyone assumed he would go on to become a knight simply because of the whole 'dashing knight in armour' stereotype.

He's the sort of guy you see playing someones grandpa in a film and you're like "wait hes so hot though. now i wanna see what he looked like when he was younger" and then you get mad because HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO GORGEOUS THEIR ENTIRE LIVES HUH. HOW IS THAT FAIR.

I feel like his looks are not really something he openly acknowledges or even really realises - I guess this ties in to my oddly specific Pierro headcanons ((gives that old man a million mental illnesses and refuses to elaborate)) but i imagine he gets really really caught up in the minor details and just sort of passively sees himself as very just .. 'whatever', despite just how many people have always told him how handsome and beautiful he is.

Like, of course he'll thank them for the compliment but in his head he has like 90 rebuttals and genuinely convinces himself that theyre just saying it to be nice/polite/to get in his good graces/whatever. man has imposter syndrome out the wazoo .

I think he definitely aged very finely and gracefully, all things considered, but his obsessive fear of aging physically makes him feel like he hasnt. but to me . old man pierro is the most gorgeous . perfect.

[tandytoaster]

The lil 14 year old trans boy at my work said I was his favourite

[arrows-and-ace-thetics]

For anyone else who may need to hear this today:

You will find people in your life who exactly what you can give is enough

You are allowed to set boundaries, you are allowed to not give everything

Looking after yourself means you can give more in the long run

You are enough