#but im not getting my hopes up. the interview went splendid but i just. i cant have hope anymore. hope will destroy me.

[schizononagesimus]

ive had a couple breakdowns over not moving, naturally, and was mostly fine with it the last couple days and got myself together until a few mins ago i saw the scene in oitnb where they're playing hey there delilah with poussey and the germans.. and now im totally breaking down again. Yes im living my au. But this isnt how it's supposed to happen

[paulvibe]

The Assistant (Paul McCartney x reader) Pt. 3

Words: 1.5k 

Warnings: none

A/N: this chapter is so boring and more of a filler. I am so stuck on it and can’t figure out how to get passed this fucking thing. I mean, I wrote chapters that take place after this one that are like three times the size of this one so like- im making up for this promise!!!!

September 1968

You were stocking up the snack table, when the studio door opened with a pop. Feet plundered down the steps of the recording room and your focus turned to the noise. Your eyes met the sight of Paul; seemingly lively today, a bounce added to his step.

“Morning darling.” He spoke, his voice giving you chills. 

“Good morning Paul.” You spoke. His eyes sparkled when your gazes met, and his grin grew slightly.

“How’re you?” He asked while he grabbed a carton of cigarettes from his shirt pocket.

“Tired. But who isn’t these days?” You spoke, turning back around. You mindlessly picked up some candies and started to arrange them. Paul lit a match and puffed the cigarette, resulting in trails of smoke billowing around you.

“You really shouldn’t smoke those first thing in the morning” You joked, turning back around. Paul inhaled as if to speak, but the door opening again startled the two of you. John walked down the steps, this time without Yoko. 

“Morning. (Y/N) I need you.” John spoke, his voice calm. You nodded and quietly excused yourself from Paul, walking over to the long-haired man. He escorted you out the recording booth and into a back office of the studio. 

“What’s this about?” You asked quietly, sitting into the desk chair.

“I need you to schedule some events for Yoko ‘n I” He spoke, pulling out his notebook. You let out a breath you’d been holding, grabbing a notepad and pen nearby.

“Of course,” You mumbled, “What’re the dates?”

John told you the dates and times, with the buildings and rooms that needed to be rented as well. Afterwards, you gazed at his face while he wrote a few things down on his notebook. He sported a t-shirt today, with some tight flared jeans. His round glasses had slid down his nose, his eyes were slightly bloodshot, and his hair was greasy.

“How’re you today, love?” You asked him softly. He gently placed the pencil down he had in his grasp, and looked back at you.

“M’ alright.” The man responded. It was rare John shared his feelings with you. Now a days he mainly keeps to himself… and Yoko.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked him. John sighed, and looked down at his lap. 

“C’mon John love, speak to me.” You urged, scooting the desk chair closer to the chair he sat in. The man fidgeted with the pencil in his lap and then looked up to meet your eyesight. What was wrong with John?

“I’m fine, love.” He spoke, standing up and exiting the small office with haste. You sighed and slumped your shoulders.

-----------------

Later in the day the boys were scheduled for a press interview; mainly to keep appearances up. Klein was worried that the rumors of the band splitting were getting taken too seriously, thus a public appearance was expected. It’s taking place right outside of Apple Corps. with a stand set up on the sidewalk and microphones fixed to it. There was enough space along the sidewalk for the news companies to sit but, for more room, the street was going to be blocked off as well. The news as well as fans and spectators had started to fill in the sidewalk and street. Police kept the civilians separate so only legitimate press companies could ask questions. You were inside with the boys while the team took care of setting up the sidewalk. Mr. Klein was here as well, though he was mainly dealing with the crew. 

“Alright, about,” You paused to look at your watch, “Three minutes til we need you out there.” You then glanced up and locked eyes with each of the boys. You met George’s first, he had a gentle gleam across his face. Followed by Ringo, who cheekily smiled. John was next, and it was a straight faced glance. Paul was last, he had a subtle beam about him. They were actually quite pleasant today; George and Ringo came in quite splendid moods, cheering up Paul and John with their humor. You began to usher them towards the entrance of Apple Corps, pushing past random crew members along the way.

Once outside the building, screams erupted from the spectators and fans. George and Paul politely waved while Ringo threw up peace signs. John, however, didn’t remove his hands from his pockets. They stood next to the other behind the large podium while people finished getting ready; Ringo and George lit cigarettes after settling in. You and Mr. Klein stood next to the doors and to the right of the boys while security personnel were on the left. The press were already taking photos, sending bright flashes to temporarily blind anyone who faced the crowd. As everybody settled in, Mr. Klein walked to the podium, pushed past the boys, and grabbed a microphone.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Thank you for joining us today. We’ve got about twenty minutes with the boys here, so keep your statements quick and to the point. Alright, take it away; questions?” The press erupted, standing up and yelling. Klein pointed to a petite woman in the front row holding a notepad and pen. 

“Ringo, Do you have any political affiliations at all?” She yelled over the murmuring street crowd. Ringo leaned towards the microphone, but John cut him off.

“No, he doesn’t even smoke.”

“I don’t even smoke,.” Ringo replied with a cheeky smile as he took a drag. The crowd burst into action again, hoping to be picked by Klein. He pointed to a man near the back.

“John, there’s a rumor in the Beatles paper that you might be leaving the group?” He yelled, holding a camera and a tape recorder. 

“Rubbish, I’m contracted. I’ve been tryna get out for years.” John responded, his tone complimenting the dry sense of humor. You stood there looking at the vast amounts of people. Many of them were women, ranging from all sorts of ages. Men were scattered throughout the group as well. Some were just passing by, probably on their way to their jobs, others would stop and stare as if The Beatles were a foreign concept.

 You’d zoned out and missed a few questions but didn’t realize until Klein’s voice drew you back in. He’d picked another reporter who eagerly bounced waiting for the crowd to quiet. 

“Mr. McCartney, can you explain as to why you were at an intimate breakfast date with miss (Y/L/N) on Saturday?” The reporter asked. Your eyes shot open and over to Paul who remained calm and didn’t even turn his attention to you.  

“We were discussing business.” He answered seamlessly, lighting up a cigarette. The crowd burst into action again, but you merely zoned out. Somehow, over the cries of civilians and yells from reporters your brain went quiet. 

-----

“What the hell was that?” Klein questioned, anger laced his tone. After the press conference, the boys went back to working while Klein called you into his office. He paced the small room hands behind his back while you sat across from him. 

“Was what, sir?” You asked in quiet tone. You knew exactly what he was talking about but didn’t want to admit it yet. 

“You and Paul?” He answered, voice still heavy.

“We had breakfast, talked schedules, nothing more.” You responded, fiddling with your hands. The man shook his head and sat in his desk chair; you could see the strain on his face. The room was so quiet the boys could be heard yelling down the hall about one thing or another. 

“Just, stay away from Paul.” Klein spoke after a few moments. Your chest felt tight with every word. “He’s always been a trouble maker.” Venom truly laced his tone. You knew Klein and Paul had never gotten along, but now it was almost as though Klein was controlling the bass players relationships now. 

“Yes Sir.” Your gaze shifting to gather your things. You didn’t even bother to look at the man before you swiftly exited his office. The door closed behind you, and you sighed as tears burning your eyes.

You’d managed to blink away the tears with a few deep breaths before walking to the small communal kitchen. Thoughts raced your mind as you made a cup of tea to calm your nerves. Could Mr. Klein even control you in that way? He has no say over your personal life, what if Paul involved your personal life? You’d gotten this job as an advancement in your career, but was it worth it? As of right now it didn’t feel that way. Sure, it’s in your contract that you can’t date any of the boys, but it didn’t say you couldn’t flirt with them… or one specifically. It was frustrating. 

Once you finished heating up some water, you grabbed a teabag and headed back to the recording booth. The boys laughing about something made you smile a little as you entered the room. John and George were talking about one of George’s songs while Paul played a little tune on the Piano and Ringo lit up a cigarette. Ringo’s attention turned to you and he let out a smile and wave as you walked down the steps. You returned the grin and sat in a small armchair.

They continued to play, sometimes doing separate things until it was time to run through a song. You kept your distance from Paul except for if he needed assistant help. Though Klein keeping a watchful eye from the sound booth was making it hard to so much as give the bass player a glance.

-----------------------------

A/N 2: I’m almost finished with the chapter after this one, and I’m going to upload it tonight, if not tomorrow <3 luv yall. 

-------- ps here’s my masterlist ;) and Pt. 4

Taglist: @vixenstail <3

[mochimim]

Spotlight

Genre: Fluff, ANGST, Celebrity! AU

Word count: 7.7k (my longest oneshot ever !!)

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Summary: The perfect guy, the imperfect celebrity

Warnings: Triggering topics - panic attack, thoughts of suicide

A/N: HELLO GUYS IM BACK WITH MY FIRST FIC IN QUITE A WHILE im so sorry tumblr deleted the post before this i haTE but it’s back so whooo !! this story is actually somewhat based on a personal experience, so I included a lot of personal thoughts and insights to try to make this better HAHAHAH but i hope yall like it !! i put in a lot of effort trying to write this fic and many BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS were shed but im finally done !! i really hold this story v close to myself because i actually felt all these things and i was a little delusional like the y/n in this fic !! please tell me how it was by dropping an ask into my inbox, both compliments and constructive criticism is good !! anyway besides this fic, im not yet done with dead leaves soRRY but feel free to leave me a request for the ending of chapter 7 (2nd last chapter !!) so drop me that asK ANYWAY IM RAMBLING AGAIN I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS FIC BYEEEEEE

"Miss, your interview is in less than 5 hours, are you sure that you want to be seen on national television with dog fur all over yourself?" Seulgi wrinkled her nose at me in disgust.

"Shut up Seulgi, I still have so much time," I flopped on my bed with my puppy on my chest. "And don't call me 'miss', I'm your younger sister. Don't be weird."

"You are the one who needs to shut up." She scoffed at me, but quickly started giggling and I joined in as well.

"No, but really, your stylist is waiting for you. What's his again? The cute one? Seok-min?" I let a small chuckle escape from my lips at her confusion.

"Seokjin," I got up and placed my puppy on the ground. "And take him. He's all yours." I cackled before sprinting out of my room, listening to her frustrated and embarrassed protests in glee.

"I will bet my entire career that you and Seulgi will get together by the end of this year." I mumbled to Seokjin as he handed me my outfit. He made a weird noise, probably thinking about the possibility.

"Yeah sure, I can hook it up." He said nonchalantly. I choked on my breath in utter horror and shock, I didn't think he would take me so seriously.

"Why are you making me wear something so pretty today?" I asked him as I got changed behind a curtain.

"What do you mean by 'pretty'? You look pretty every day." He said matter-of-factly, and I couldn't help but blush a little at his words.

"I'm not used to this. I can't rock dresses, full stop. I only look decent in a shirt and shorts." I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror one last time before walking out to sit down in the makeup chair. "Where am I going later, anyway?"

"You're an Academy Award winner, a Grammy winner, and you still don't know where you're going after this. Unbelievable." He called the makeup girl over and crossed his arms. I furrowed my brows, wondering how he linked the three things together.

"You're going on national television, stupid. You're going to be interviewed by Park Jimin!" He exclaimed and threw his hands into the air, almost hitting the makeup girl in the face.

"Who?"

He gave a little gasp at my obliviousness. "Do you not watch the evening news? He's the presenter after that. He does all the celebrity news, he interviews them on radio as well. He's like Korea's very own Ryan Seacrest! Only more beautiful and younger, and did I mention beautiful?"

"Uh, so, does this give me a reason to re-dye my hair?" I murmured as the makeup girl put some bright red lipstick on me, not really caring about whoever Park Jimin was.

"You've already done your makeup, silly. You wouldn't want to ruin her masterpiece, would you?" He said, posing more of a statement than a question. "Thank you Irene." He tapped her on her back as she scuttled away in fear.

"I don't think her name is Irene," I squinted my eyes at my reflection in the mirror.

"Whatever, you're almost ready. Time for hair, time for me to do my magic." He whipped a comb out of the pocket of his pants. "We have no time for re-dying of hair. And I think that this pink hair suits you. Also, don't worry about the interview with Park Jimin later. It will be a walk in the ‘Park’!" I groaned at his very lame joke and he chuckled softly.

I tugged at the hem of my dress, trying to pull it lower.

"Seulgi, why do you look so nervous? I'm the one going out there." I asked her as she bit her neatly manicured nails.

"Look, I'm just worried for you, don't mess this up for m- for yourself, okay? Also, I'm going to be in the same room as Pa-"

Heads were turned as a man walked into the room. He looked confident and cool. He was very handsome, with a charm that seemed to go around the room. His cotton candy coloured hair looked like it took hours to style, his makeup flawless. He wore a suit that looked a little too tight, but it accentuated his muscular arms, so I wasn't complaining.

"Park Jimin-"

Stop being so shallow, maybe he's a dick.

And suddenly, I was being pushed into the set. And right into Park Jimin's arms.

"Cut!"

I heard someone yell, and I swear I heard the entire studio sigh in unison. I didn't realise that I was in the Park Jimin's arms until he pulled me up, and I dusted off my dress.

"Sorry." I bowed to him and ran off to the standby area.

"Could we do that walk in part again? Come in less violently, thanks." The mysterious voice ordered me, and I nodded at the instructions.

After coming out less violently, the rest of the interview went fairly well. I didn’t mention any embarrassing things that could expose me, but I did comment on our similar hair colours, which was enough awkward for one day.

“Hey, we have the same hair!” I blurted out just before he could ask me a question. He tilted his head and was silent for a moment, but quickly caught on and smiled at me. I stretched my hand out for a high-five, hoping that he wouldn’t leave me hanging, and he didn’t. He flashed me the brightest smile I’ve seen in a while and gave me a high-five.

“He has the most gorgeous smile. His eyes smile along with him, did you know? He literally radiated happiness, Seulgi! I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed to my sister as we were leaving the venue, but quickly stopped myself from getting too hysterical over someone I just met.

“He really is a charmer. I got the chills just standing next to him.” Seulgi smiled to herself, quite pleased that she was able to stand next to him, and then I realised all the hype over him. I was going to start watching the celebrity news show from now on. I was going to b-

“Wait!”

I felt someone tap on my back and I turned around.

To be face to face with Park Jimin.

My bodyguard was going to push him away when I stopped him. Jimin looked out-of-breath.

“S-sorry for disturbing y-you. But, w-would you like to g-go out for lunch tomorrow? For w-work purposes, of course.” He asked as he caught his breath. I looked at his panting form, and my heart doubled in size.

Stop thinking of those things.

“YES!” I yelled, startling both him and Seulgi, making them jump a little.

“But miss, tomorrow you have t-”

“Cancel it!” I beamed at the glowing boy in front of me while trying to wave away my sister.

“Uh, we can go another time if you’re bu-” He blushed a little, scratching the back of his head. My eyes widened and I immediately waved my hands frantically.

“No, no! It’s okay, tomorrow is fine. I’m sure it isn’t important.” I smiled at him again, and he reciprocated the happiness.

“Okay! Could I get your number?” He handed me his phone and I willingly took it from him, not minding that it had a bright pink phone case. I punched my numbers in and handed it back to him eagerly.

“Thanks! I’ll text you later. See you tomorrow!” He bowed to me and walked back into the studio. By then, I felt like I was going to explode.

“You know, you’re supposed to meet your father tomorrow. Are you sure you want to cancel?” Seulgi asked me cautiously. I stopped in my tracks, thinking of him.

Did l really have to choose between my father and Park Jimin?

“Cancel the lunch appointment.” I sighed after a long time of just standing there. My sister made a sound of disapproval, but I ignored her and walked back to the car.

Park Jimin.

I went to Google him when I got home.

Actor, Presenter, Singer, Dancer

He seems really cool.

His fans love him because of his bubbly personality and kind words.

Seems legit.

Was in a band called BTS and was internationally known. However, the band disbanded due to unknown reasons. Whether the members are still close is still unknown.

He was in a band? That’s so hot.

Are you sure you want to read Park Jimin fanfic?

I’ve never been more sure in my life.

But, before I could click “yes”, my phone buzzed in my pocket. My gasped and snatched the phone out a little too excitedly to be greeted with Jimin’s text message.

Jimin: hello! This is y/n right? It’s Park Jimin. Are you able to meet at the dog cafe in Gangnam tomorrow at 1? xx

I am literally going to cry.

“Yes!” I screamed at my phone and threw it onto my bed. I pumped my fists into the air in joy and threw myself onto my bed as well. “He texted me!”

The next hour was just me doing some intensive research on Jimin for ‘work purposes’, or at least that’s what I told my sister, until I realised that he didn’t text me back. I picked my phone off the bed and read the message again. And then, it dawned on me.

I was the one who didn’t text him back.

I cried out in horror and quickly typed out a short message to reply him and not seem rude.

Me: hello Jimin! Yep tmr at 1 is gud HAHAHAHA c u !!!!

Too informal?

Me: hello Jimin. Tomorrow at 1pm at the dog cafe will be splendid. Thank you for your time.

Too formal?

Me: hello Jimin! Yeah tomorrow at 1 will be good! Thanks and see you there!

I guess that will do.

And I pressed send, waiting for him to reply like I expected him to send me a message at the exact same moment I sent him one.

[read at 6:45pm]

Oh, okay then. I’ll see him tomorrow anyway.

And I spent the rest of my evening thinking about him.

“So, is my dear y/n going on a date now?” Seokjin teased me as I looked for a dress.

“I think you’re a little too nosy today. Why are you peeking into my personal life? And I’m hanging out with a friend.” I shook my head. “Do you have an outfit for me to wear today? His- I mean their favourite colour is blue, so I want to wear blue.”

“So, you just diss me, and expect me to help you to impress some trick shot guy that might break your heart?” He crossed his arms.

“Ugh, okay then. There isn’t any, so I’m just gonna take this weird purple dress.” I sighed, in hopes of winning him over using reverse psychology.

“There are jeans in the bottom right drawer. And there are nice shirts somewhere in the top shelf I think.” Seokjin whispered to me, as if he didn’t want to get caught trying to help me. I giggled at him and went to search for the clothes. I picked out a simple white shirt and ripped jeans.

“Thank you, and sorry for the trouble.” I did a half-bow to him, actually relieved that he was here to help me. A small smile danced on his lips and I took it as a “you’re welcome” and walked out to get changed.

“Jimin! Hello!” I exclaimed as I got out of the car and saw him standing outside the cafe. He looked stunning as hell, with a long sleeved white sweater and black jeans that hugged his legs that were much prettier than my own, completed with a green beanie on his head.

“Oh, hello y/n. Are you ready to go in?” He flashed me his signature smile, and I was at a loss for words yet again. All I could muster was a slight nod, and he took my hand and led me into the cafe.

Park. Jimin. Is. Holding. My. Hand.

As we entered the place, we were greeted by at least a million puppies, nipping and yapping at our feet. Or at least I was. The dogs didn’t go near Jimin, strangely enough. I squealed at the cute puppies and picked some up to cuddle. Jimin tried picking one up, but it kind of growled at him, so he playfully growled back at it, making me giggle.

Many people in the cafe stared at Jimin and I, and I wasn’t sure whether it was because of Jimin’s good looks, his fame, my actor status or the fact that we were together. BUt it didn’t really bother me, I was just happy that I was with him at that moment.

With a puppy snoring on my lap and Jimin holding my hand in his, it was bliss.

“This one’s name is Bubbles, Jimin. He’s super cute, look at his face!” I whispered to him, afraid to wake the sleeping pup. He nodded fondly and peered at the dog’s face.

“He actually looks like my friend’s dog. I like him.” He nodded in approval and I smiled at him.

“I wonder why the puppies aren’t coming to you. Maybe I should trust them.” I jokingly said with a small wink. He chuckled at my teasing words and picked a dog up.

“What secret do you know about me? Huh?” He lowered his voice, trying to seem manly. But, the dog squirmed in his hands, so he put it down and it scuttled away.

“So, you’re an actress right? I’ve seen you in some dramas. You’re really good.” He murmured to me, and I swear I’ve never blushed so hard.

“Uh, i’m not very good. I just get casted in things for publicity, I guess.” I looked away from him in shame, not really wanting to talk about my career. “But how about you, Mr. actor-slash-singer-slash-presenter-slash-dancer? You’re multi-talented. That’s really cool.”

“I’m not that talented, come on. You’re-” he laughed at me, but was interrupted by a girl tapping on his shoulder. The girl looked about 15, with plaited hair and braces, and she held a notebook with Jimin’s face on it.

“Oppa-ya, could you sign this for me please?” She tilted her head to the side, making me want to laugh at her cute attempt of winning him over. He stared at the girl for a little while, and then magically whipped a pen out of thin air and signed her book. The girl was obviously really happy, as she squealed with joy when he handed the book back to her, and she went away skipping.

“I think that we should leave here and we can go to my house to chill out. It’s about a five minute walk from here. What do you say?” He suggested, and I willingly nodded, reluctantly carrying the sleeping puppy on my lap to his bed, and we left.

“Today’s weather is really nice, don’t you think?” I said it mostly to myself, but he hummed in response. I felt his hand brush against mine, and I laced my fingers in his. My cheeks were burning, but I could blame that on the weather.

And there we were, walking down Gangnam Street, ignoring all the surprised netizens and flashing of cameras. His expression looked a little strained, and I felt like mine was too, but when I looked at him all my worries melted away like ice cream on a hot summer day. He looked so beautiful in the bright sunlight, contrary to the sharp wind that tangled my hair and made me look like I was going very red.

We walked all the way until we reached a very tall, very modern building, and into a lift that took us to the penthouse. Once I stepped into his apartment, my mouth hung open. I couldn’t think straight looking at all that expensive looking furniture, and the five other beautiful men sitting on a couch that looked like it was bought with all the money I had earned.

“Ah, there they are! I’d like to meet my friends.” He squeezed my hand, and I had never been more glad that his seater covered his hands, because my hands were sweating.

It’s only been one date, and he’s introducing his friends to me now? This is going a little too fast, but I shouldn’t say anything.

“Guys, this is y/n. Remember her from that drama Temptation? Yeah, she was playing the young Park Jiwoo.” He asked the five men, and all of them sat up and nodded their heads.

“Y/n, the one in blue is Namjoon-hyung, the one in black is Yoongi-hyung, the one in green is Hoseok-hyung, the one in white is Jungkook and the other one in black is Taehyung.” He introduced, and I gave a polite bow to all of them. They all nodded to me, besides Taehyung and Jungkook who gave me an enthusiastic “hello!” each.

“I’m so sorry, I actually have to leave for a little bit, I have to settle some stuff with the producer of my evening show. I’ll only be gone for two hours at most. Would you like to stay here, or do you want me to take you home right now?” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“Um, I think I can stay here and wait for you,” I beamed at him, and he looked up at me and beamed back.

“Great! Guys, please treat her well and don’t scare her away.” He turned on his heels and came dangerously close to my face. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” He whispered to me, and his lips brushed my cheek. I felt a tingle run down my spine and I nodded furiously. And he smirked and left.

I stood awkwardly at the entrance of the apartment, facing the five guys. They gave me a small nod, and gestured for me to sit with them. I gulped and moved my wooden legs to sit on the comfiest couch i’ve ever sat on.

“So, y/n, how old are you? Are you a 95 liner like Jiminie?” The one in blue asked me. Namjoon, was it?

“Uh, I-i’m a 95 liner, yeah.” I stuttered, trying to hide my increasing nerves.

“Don’t be nervous, we don’t bite,” Hoseok chuckled, and I felt the need to smile along.

“So, are you and hyung going to get married? I like you, you seem really nice!” Jungkook blurted out, earning him a light smack on his arm by one of his hyungs.

“Um,” I coughed, expressing my nervousness. “We’ve only been on one date, so I don’t so as of now.”

“I think you guys are making her nervous, you guys should go now.” Yoongi told the rest in a monotonous voice. They all grumbled, but did as he said, and I said my silent thanks to Yoongi for helping me. He stayed on the couch, though, but I didn’t really mind.

“I’m Yoongi, if you forgot.” I nodded at him, confident that his name was the easiest to remember. “You don’t need to call me Oppa, if that was what you were thinking.” He clarified, and even though I wasn’t thinking about that, I nodded along.

After that awkward first words, we started talking. About our likes, dislikes, favourite things and least favourite things. He was surprisingly easy to talk to, and surprisingly relatable as well. We had many things in common, and we mostly talked about music. He liked rap and hip hop, so did I. I even let him listen to some of my songs that I had recorded for fun, and he gave me a stamp of approval.

“Wow, should I be honoured that THE Min Yoongi gave me a thumbs up on my joke song?” I giggled, and he flashed me a gummy smile that I never thought that I would ever see.

“Yes, yes you should.”

But, before I could show Yoongi my other joke song, Jimin came in from the lift and sat beside me.

“You seem really comfortable here, that’s a good sign. Would you like to stay for dinner? I think Jungkook is cooking glazed sweet potatoes, and it’s really an interesting experience to eat that.” He asked me, looking at me with those gorgeous eyes and I immediately nodded without thinking.

“Great, I’ll be in the kitchen for a bit. I’ll be back.” His hand lingered on my arm a little too long, and I felt my blush creeping up to my cheeks again. Yoongi had also gotten up to go to the bathroom, so I was alone in the living room.

I took my phone out to check the time, when I saw the twenty-one missed calls and fifteen messages Seulgi had sent me. I sighed and rubbed my temples, worrying that Seulgi was going to overworry. I called her back and held my breath, preparing myself for a big scolding from her. She was working for me, but I was still her younger sister.

“Unnie?” I whispered into the phone, and I heard her cry out in frustration.

“First, you don’t answer my calls, and now you’re suddenly calling me unnie? I was so worried for you! You just ignored my calls, and I had to do everything myself! Where are you right now? I’ll send someone to pick you up.”

“Seulgi, please. I’m fine. I’m at Jimin’s house, it’s fine! But, can I stay for dinner? Please, they asked and I already said yes.” I pleaded into the phone, not caring that Jimin had entered the room and sat on the space next to me.

“You have so much to do tonight, what are you doing being at his house for so long? You have to send emails to-”

“Yay, thanks Seulgi! I love you very much! I’ll be home before ten and I’ll have plenty of time to finish up my work thank you! See you, I love you!” I dragged out my last word before hanging up on her and exhaling very loudly. Jimin pet my head, and I instinctively leaned towards him and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Ewww~ You guys have only been on one date, and you’re already so lovey-dovey.” Jungkook came into the room wearing an apron that said “kiss the kook” and a very disgusted expression. I was going to comment on the younger’s cute words, but Jimin beat me to it.

“Date? What date?”

I felt my heart break into two.

He said it with such confusion, that I couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not.

Jungkook’s eyes widened, making him look more like a child. He blinked at us awkwardly for a moment, but quickly came to his senses. “Dinner is ready, y’all can come now.”

Jimin got up and pulled me to my feet, and we made our way to the dining room together, but I suddenly lost all appetite.

He didn’t see today as a date? Then what did he think it was?

But, I pushed all my negative thoughts aside to be replaced by the glorious food in front of me. Not only could he ‘kook’, he could also cook.

We spent dinner talking about everything we could think of, and trying to pry the sweet potatoes off the plate. It was Jungkook’s special dish when everyone was sad or during a happy occasion, they told me, and I smiled at them.

After that day, Jimin and I became closer and closer. I ignored his words that hurt me before, and I tried to move on.

Maybe he just was trying to protect his dignity.

He texted a lot, and we called and video called a lot as well. We talked about everything, from good things to bad things, but we were never at a lost for words. We never got bored while talking, nor did we run out of things to say. Conversation flowed really well, and sometimes I felt myself wondering why I had ever doubted him for being a dick.

I talked a lot to Yoongi, as well. He was someone I could talk to comfortably without it getting too awkward. Our similar taste in music usually took the wheel in our conversations, we recommended music to each other and that strengthened our friendship.

Jimin and I went on a few more ‘dates’, or whatever he thought they were. We went out to eat, I went to his house to watch a romantic movie, we went shopping together, and many more things that I really cherished.

There were too many news articles about us to ignore, but Jimin didn’t seem to be bothered.

“It’s going to die out soon if we don’t address it, it’ll be okay.” He flashed that award-winning eye smile again, winning me over in a snap of a finger.

The news articles didn’t bother me, though. It was the number of news articles surrounded around our “pending relationship”. All of them said the same thing, all talking about how people saw us around together, holding hands and asking if the fans thought we would be a good couple or not. Most of the comments said we would be the cutest celebrity couple, and I didn’t deny them.

We were busy, I had a new drama that I was working on and he had his presenting career, but we made it work. We carved out time in between shoots to see each other, and even if we couldn’t see each other in person, we would call or text.

And every day, I fell more and more in love with him.

I couldn’t help it, it just happened. It hit me one day out of the blue. I didn’t just like him, I loved him. He brought so much happiness into my life, and introduced me to so many people that I wouldn’t ever trade for the world. I felt like if I ever let him go, all these things would suddenly disappear from my life, leaving me stranded in my own pit of loneliness and self-pity.

I also clung onto the hope that he would love me back.

Even when everything came crashing down.

So, I was close to two people in his friend group, Taehyung and Yoongi, and I really trusted the both of them. So, I told them my secret.

“I think i’m in love with Jimin.”

Taehyung spat his drink out onto the coffee table in front of him.

“Huh? What do you mean? You love Jimin? Are you sure this isn’t infatuation?” He spluttered out, probably very shocked at my sudden confession. Yoongi held his cam and cool exterior, so i didn’t really know what he was thinking at the moment.

“I don’t think it’s infatuation. Every time I go near him, or think of him, or talk to him, my heart begins to flutter. It’s not under my control, if I could I would definitely not want to feel like this, but I do. When we talk, I get excited over small things. I can feel it in my bones, Tae. have you ever felt this way about a woman?”

“Not about a woman,” he blushed and turned to face the back.

“Y/n-ah. Congrats on finding love and everything, but here’s the thing: do you want a relationship with him? Otherwise, all this is irrelevant.” He bluntly stated, making Taehyung shift in his seat and making me feel a little uneasy.

He had put it harshly, but he was right. So what if I found love but didn’t want a relationship? Did I really want to spend a long time, possibly the rest of my life, with this man?

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Okay, then good for you.” Yoongi curtly nodded and went back to scrolling through his phone. Taehyung seemed a little off, but quickly whipped out his phone and started scrolling too.

Was it so wrong that I loved him?

Me: Jimin-ah!I have about 2 hrs before our next shoot tgt! Would you like to come over or I can go over as well :^)

Jimin ❤️: busy.

Me: We can go to the venue together :^)

Jimin ❤️: can’t. sorry.

And that’s when it all came crashing down.

He hadn’t been like this before, why was he acting so cold towards me all of a sudden? Oh, cmon y/n, it’s just a text message, maybe he’s in a meeting. You’ll see him during filming.

And I did see him during filming, but he didn’t see me.

“Jimin!” I called out to him and waved. He looked back, but looked away just as fast. His pace quickened as he disappeared into his changing room. I was left there, hurt and very confused.

Our characters did not have much interaction except for one scene. And we were going to film that one scene that day. It was a comedy drama about two colleagues fighting for the head position but end up falling in love later in the story. He was playing the boy’s overprotective friend, who causes a lot of problems later in the story, but is checking the girl out to see if she is “worthy enough” to date his friend.

“Ya, are you the idiot who is dating my best friend?” He coughed into his fist, already fully into the character.

“Are you using informal language with me? We don’t even know each other.” I snapped back, wavering a little under his strong gaze.

“Ya, listen up, I’ve heard that I’m older than you. So back off.” He squinted at me.

“Look, I don’t even know you. I’m just here t-”

“You know, you’re really pretty. Easily the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Jimin winked at me, and I desperately searched for any signs of genuinity in what he just said. After his character had said that line, my character was supposed to throw her cup at him, but I was too busy ‘looking for love’ that I totally forgot what to do and screwed the scene up.

When the director yelled cut and we returned to our original positions, I thought I saw him roll his eyes, but I chose to ignore it.

We did the scene one more time, and we wrapped it up perfectly.

“Hey, Jimin, you were really good!” I tapped him on the shoulder and smiled at him. The corners of his lips turned up a little, and I took this as a good sign.

“You too.” He nodded at me and walked away.

Well, it could have been worse. He could have totally ignored me, but he didn’t. Does this mean that he likes me, just a little?

I spent the rest of my day smiling and thinking of him.

But as we got further and further into the filming, he ignored me more and more, and interacted with me only when it was necessary. We stopped texting regularly, and he stopped asking me out to hang. We kind of just stopped everything we had.

But, I still prayed and hoped that he had some feelings for me, because I sure did have feelings for him.

I started hanging out with Yoongi more than him, and we would just sit and talk about anything and everything under the sun. But, I needed to ask him about Jimin.

“Yoongi-ah, do you think Jimin thinks that I like him? Is that why he’s acting so strange?”

“Oh, he knows that you like him.”

What?

“What? Who told him?” I yelled, running over to his side. “Oh my god, I can’t fucking breathe. I’m going to faint.” I started hyperventilating and everything looked a little blurry.

“I think it would be best if you didn’t faint on me,” he said with a serious tone, but I could tell that he was a little worried. “I heard Jungkook talking about it to Hoseok, that Jimin knows that you like him. I didn’t tell him, if you’re wondering. And I don’t think Taehyung did either. Besides, I don’t think he’s acting strange on purpose. I’ve known Jimin for eight years now, he’s a genuine dude. He wouldn’t hurt someone intentionally. He’s just a little oblivious.”

“Do you think that he will forget about this?” I looked up at Yoongi with tears ready to spill out at any negative response Yoongi was forming in his head.

“I honestly think that he will. It might take a while, but he’ll eventually forget it and everything will go back to normal. Jimin doesn’t hold grudges easily, and I think that he’ll understand later on. But we will save that story for a time when we’re all old. You can still have feelings for him, nobody’s going to stop you. And you know, maybe he’ll like you back, but I can’t decide that for him. You just have to be patient and see what happens.” He reassured me, holding my chin up to face him as my warm tears glided down my cheeks in silence. “But for now, let’s go get some ice cream to calm you down a little. And let’s bring Seulgi along, I think she feels a little left out sometimes.” He stood up, and pulled me to my feet. He draped an arm around my shoulder and I buried my face into his shoulder.

“Thanks Yoongi.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

With Yoongi’s blessing, I continued to harbour feelings for Jimin. Seeing as I saw him almost every other day, I thought about him a lot. As I saw him acting, I thought about how he was so talented. His character was basically the comic relief, he made me laugh until my sides hurt. He never failed to make my day, and I hoped that my scenes made his day as well.

I would try to initiate conversation and we would occasionally have a short conversation about anything we wanted to talk about. I was really happy when he replied to my messages, I sometimes would screenshot our messages and show them to Seulgi so she could fangirl over the fact that I was friends with her celebrity crush.

“Y/n, can I be super honest?” She asked me once while looking at our messages. I was sitting on the couch, eagerly waiting for her reaction.

“Yeah, sure.”

“He seems like he’s replying with very little effort. You see, you typed such a long message here, and all he replied you with was a ‘cool’. I think you’re putting in too much effort into this, little sis. You might want to back down a little, give the dude some space for a bit and try again.” She sighed, and I felt a little bit of anger boiling up inside of me, not sure whether it was because of her blunt words, or the fact that I had suspected it as well.

“Seulgi, I don’t think you should butt into things like this anymore.” I murmured, taking my phone from her and slinking back to my room, locking the door behind me. I flopped onto my bed and had a long, silent cry.  

I could sense that he wasn’t really putting in much effort, but he replied me. He could have ignored me.

As the months passed by, my love for him grew stronger, he pushed me away more and more, until we stopped talking altogether. I didn’t really like the distance between us, even if we saw each other regularly, and I kind of slipped into a slump. I was constantly lethargic, I had massive headaches and I felt a little numb to all emotions. Sometimes, I would lie on my bed, body ridden with insomnia, thinking about him, about us. What we were. But sometimes, I cried myself to sleep, as dramatic as that sounds.

My heart ached for him, I felt empty without him, and when I was with him, I felt heartbroken. I didn’t know how or what to feel. There were a few thoughts of self-harm running through my mind, and I did attempt to do it, but when I picked up the blunt butter knife, I couldn’t hurt myself. There was something in me screaming that it was a bad idea, and I would just end up sitting on the ground, unharmed on the outside but broken on the inside. I mentioned these things to Yoongi, and he was very supportive even though he didn’t quite understand.

“Yoongi, I feel really bad right now. Is this normal?”

“Y/n-ah. You shouldn’t feel bad. Like I told you, I’m very sure that Jimin doesn’t know that he’s hurting you. I won’t tell him so you won’t be ashamed, but I don’t think that this is something you want to keep up with. It’s very problematic and it’s taking a very obvious toll on you. You look so thin, and your eyes are dull. Take a little break of filming is what I think you should do.” He continued to talk but I couldn’t really hear him anymore.

I looked down at myself, my wrists, my thighs, my stomach. All of them seemed thinner than normal. But that was just because I had no appetite, I wasn’t bulimic or anorexic, I simply just didn’t feel like eating. But why?

There were so many articles talking about how thin I was. My fans were very supportive, telling me to be strong and be healthier, but they didn’t know what this felt like. Only I did.

And that’s when I decided that I was going to get over him.

I knew that it was going to be difficult and extremely painful for me, but this ‘relationship’ I had in my head was obviously not going to happen in real life. I didn’t blame Jimin at all, it was not his fault, neither was it mine. But sometimes, things just happen, or they don’t.

“I’m going to get over him, I’ve been stuck in this crush for too long already. It’s almost been a year and a half, I think I’m ready to stop.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I told Yoongi, and I had no intention of holding them back.

“I’m here for you.”

So, from then on, I promised myself that I would get over him. Every time I thought of him, I would mentally slap myself and think of something else, which sort of worked, but my mind would naturally gravitate back to him like a paperclip to some sort of magnet, and I had to repeat the process, leaving me mentally and physically drained by the end of the day.

I was a pretty vocal person, so I decided to talk to Yoongi about it. He was a good listener, quiet and sturdy, and he sat quietly next to me, hearing all my feelings through text or in person. Sometimes he gave me advice, which was mostly to naturally get over him, but most of the time he just sat there listening intently.

I tried talking to my other friends as well, leaving his name as a blank, but they all gave me the same response: if you want to get over him, just stop talking about him, that way you won’t think about him as much. But I already thought about him on a daily basis, so what was the difference if I shut up?

I couldn’t breathe.

All the air in my body felt like it was being sucked out. I felt like dying.

I just got home from a photoshoot that went terribly wrong because the camera director thought that I was not the right model and started throwing a fit. It turned out okay in the end, at least he didn’t hurt me, but it still hurt my feelings.

As my car was pulling up into my driveway, I felt nauseous. I bolted out of the car and ran straight for the toilet, where I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. NOt that there was much to empty, though.

I just sat on the ground, and reality hit me. Getting over him was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I had done many crazy things to prepare for a role, like egg someone’s house to study their reaction, cut my hair unevenly to see what the media would say about me, and hug random strangers on the street to see what they would do.

None of them was as hard as staying conscious while having a panic attack.

And there I was, on the floor of my bathroom, having a panic attack. My breathing was rapid and shallow, and I couldn’t think straight. All my thoughts flew out the window, but the thought of Jimin stayed with me, comforting and hurting me at the same time.

I started hysterically crying, and Seulgi started banging on the door. Everything was blurry and disoriented, like I was looking through a fisheye lens. I slammed my head on the wall a few times, trying to knock some sense into myself as I hyperventilated, but it didn’t work.

I was a mess, sobbing on the damp floor, eyes bulged out, gasping for air and comfort.

What do I do? What did I do? I can’t breathe.

I tried counting the number of light bulbs in the room to take my mind off this attack, but everything became blurrier, and I had to focus on staying conscious.

My trembling hands reached out for my phone in my pocket, I had no energy to grab so I just dragged it out and held it. It looked like it was vibrating, but it was just me. 

I dialed the first number that came to mind and held it next to my ear.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Yoongi, panic, attack, please, help.” I wheezed into the phone.

“Square breathe. Four in, four hold, four out, four hold. I’ll be there, just wait for me.”

He arrived at my house with a stuffed bear and a concerned expression. I stared at him from the mountain of blankets I had buried myself under.

Seulgi had managed to open the door to the bathroom and saw me crying on the floor. She immediately managed to get me up as I was too tired to resist and brought me to my room. She was in the kitchen making me a warm drink, and I thanked the gods for my wonderful and caring sister.

“What happened?” Yoongi said as he set the bear down.

“Yoongi, I don’t know what to do.” I hiccuped and closed my eyes to soothe the headache I felt coming on. “I really want to get over him, but I feel...I feel like...I don’t know how to explain it. But, I really love him. And when I try to forget him, it hurts. And when I think of him, it hurts. Yoongi, I am hurting. My heart is hurting. I can’t do this. I’ve never been in this much pain in my life.” I started crying all over again, but this time it wasn’t hysterical. It was the silent type, where tears just fell from your eyes, making you hurt even more. My nails dug into my skin, making little crescent indents into my arm.

I was going through so much, with the fame and now this. I couldn’t take it. It was too difficult.

“Yoongi, i’m in so much pain. I want to hurt myself, but I can’t. I can’t do that to myself. I can’t continue with life like this, Yoongi, I can’t.”

I looked up and saw tears rolling down his pale cheeks, but he didn’t make an effort to wipe them away.

“It’s going to be okay.”

1 year later

“Jimin-ah! Is that you?” I yelled out, and he turned around to face me. A grin spread across his face like wildfire, and he walked towards me with a spring in his step.

“Y/n! How have you been? I haven’t seen you lin like a year!” He stepped forward and embraced me. I felt the urge to wriggle out of his touch, but I took a deep breath and hugged him back. It felt good.

“I’ve been good, a little busy with filming and photoshoots, but otherwise good! We should meet up sometime to hang out.”  I smiled at him warmly, and he returned the smile with a genuine one. But, after a while, his smile faded a little, and there was a glint of worry in his eyes.

“Y/n, I need to tell you something.” He held my hands, and my breath quickened a little.

“Yoongi told me about what happened last year. About, you know, me and you.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I just wanted to apologise. I swear I didn’t intentionally hurt you. I was just a little freaked that a beautiful girl like you would love an idiot like me, so I wanted to distance myself a little. I didn’t know that I would end up hurting you. I was so immature and I really just want to start over with you. Do you forgive me?”

‘Hmm,” I pretended to think, picking at my nails, teasing him a little. “I’d have to think about that. But do you know what will make me make my decision faster? Us hanging out, sometime next week? I’ll call you.” I gave him a playful thumbs up, and he laughed as he shook his head.

“Of course, we’ll arrange a date.”

“It’s settled then.” I did a playful bow to him and started to skip away, but dipped my head backwards to say something before I left.

“Hey Jimin,” I called to him and he raised his head to look at me with confusion. “Remember when I was whipped for your ass?” He tilted his head and I flashed him a cheeky smile.

“Yeah, me neither.”

[smileyanie]

“I love this interview, it show how much she grow as a person and as an actress.  Yoonaya....I never once doubt your ability as an actress  since I first saw you in You Are My Destiny. Your improvement make me and other Yoonaddicts so proud, and you always be our Pride” 

[INTERVIEW TRANSLATION] Yoona in 1st Look (December 2016),credit sonexstella

“A Better Me”

She is not staying still in the shining now, and taking big smart steps forward. A girl who was like a white flower blossom is becoming an elegant young woman who is fit various descriptions. Actress Im Yoona’s shine that deepens another level.

Even if she’s not the ‘center’ of a brilliantly shining stage, even if she’s not receiving flashes in a glamorous dress, Yoona is a person that stands out whenever, wherever. Her slender and long body, milky skin, a deer-like deep and transparent eyes that center her narrow face, and her refreshing smile. Aside from one’s likes and dislikes, she has pretty looks acknowledged by anyone and with a unique mood, when she first appeared before the world, she had the role of a ‘girl who is particularly pretty among pretty kids’.

However, Yoona has been able to show that beauty unchangingly by not staying as just a slender girl, but by working hard with a healthy energy and with a warm heart. Even though she is an idol that can capture the public’s gaze in one breath, she didn’t rest on the laurels of that name, and Yoona has sincerely and smartly taken steps forward. Recently, the tvN drama <The K2> which ended popularly was an even more meaningful piece for Yoona and had special meaning in her walk of life.  As she lived as ‘Go Anna’, a girl with dark wounds and a complicated inner side, which is opposite of her given image, she cried and was hurt countless times, but she overcame it with her own firm ways, and in the end, she brought a splendid conclusion to fruition.

In this moment where she has silently walked over a huge mountain that appeared treacherous, Yoona does not get prematurely excited or ahead of herself, and carefully takes in the compliments she receives. She smiles silently saying that this is only the beginning of the process to become actress Im Yoona who has become a bit better, and has grown a little more. When we thought this appearance was a bit unexpected, Yoona said, “It’s time for me to experience even more changes. I have so many more faces that I still want to show.”

<The K2> ended while it was popular. You must have some thoughts now that it has ended. Has it been almost 3 years? It’s a piece that I’m showing for the first time in a while, so while we were filming, it was fun and my heart was anticipating it a lot. It was fun to experience the lively energy of the location, and it was refreshing to wait for the viewers’ reactions with a fluttering heart. More than thoughts of it being difficult, I liked that I was able to participate in an amazing piece, and that I could attempt a lot of things within that. There were incredible actors that I could learn especially a lot from, as well as passionate staff, so I was able to enjoy it twice as much.

In previous works, you mostly showed us bright and confident sides, so when we first heard the casting news, we were surprised. We’re curious how you came to decide on a drastic attempt. It wasn’t on purpose, but while I was waiting for a piece that captured my heart, the gap ended up being long. I wanted to meet a character that I could play really well. While I was on a break, I was one step away, so I was able to seriously think about acting. If I do a piece, what kind of side I could show, how viewers would take the character I’m acting, what direction I should take going forward, and so on. While I was hesitating about whether I should show more of what I’ve been showing or if I should attempt something new even if it’s unfamiliar, I received the script for <The K2>. Most of the scripts that come to me are candy characters similar to <You Are My Destiny> but Anna was completely different. As soon as I read it, I had the conviction of ‘I don’t want to miss this. I have to do this one’. I thought the clothes wouldn’t fit exactly, but that unfamiliarity pulled me in strongly. Along with an understanding of ‘Why did I not think of a direction like this?’ even though I was very concerned about it. It was a character who threw a lot of emotion in the way of Actress Im Yoona, who is coming out in front of everyone for the first time in a while.

Anna, who experiences a lot of bends and pain in life, is not an easy character to express. Especially in the beginning, we see her unsociable side, and as the story unfolds, she comes and goes to the extreme ends of emotions. There must have been a lot of difficult aspects. There were many scenes where emotions had to be brought out and expressed. Normally, I rarely ever yell but I needed to scream and I shed a lot of tears too. In the 1st episode, which was filmed in Barcelona, Spain, I had to run around barefoot covered in blood. She lived secluded from society and oppressed, like a shadow, and as she meets ‘Jeha (Ji Changwook’s role)’, she opens her heart and depends on him, and showing this process in a convincing way was not easy. When I look back, the boundaries of emotional change should have appeared a bit more delicate, so I think in many ways, it was a bit lacking. I do have some regrets, but to me, it was a very good experience. I learned a lot. If I had to take on Anna alone, it would have been incredibly difficult, but the sunbae actors I worked with had very solid skills and energy, so I was able to pull out more than what I possess alone. I’m very thankful and happy.

What is the most memorable scene, or a moment that you remember from filming? Every scene was special, so it’s not easy to narrow it down to one. Of course, the scenes filmed in Spain’s exotic environment were memorable, as were working with (Song) Yoona sunbaenim, who had an antagonistic relationship to me. Since before I joined the project, the fact that I could act with Yoona sunbaenim alone made me nervous. More than anything, the scene where Anna meets her dad (Jo Sungha’s role), who she has wanted to meet, touched me the most. All of the complicated emotions that Anna has built up over time in her heart surged up my whole body, so for a take that went on for more than 15 minutes, I cried. I cried to the point that my eyes swelled up so much that staff worried whether I’d be able to film the day after. Personally, it was a special moment where I was able to show and also fill up to my heart’s content.

There were a lot of people who said ‘We saw actress Yoona’s potential’. You must be proud to receive such good praise about your acting. I’m thankful that people are seeing me positively. Every person has a different standard but honestly for me, rather than thinking I did well, I think more about the many aspects where I’m still lacking. Even if I have to go through more severe hardships, I promised myself to improve. Because I want to become a good actress. Through <The K2> I think I mostly got rid of my fear toward new attempts. It’s not confidence, but should I say that I have developed faith in myself to continue to show a new face within projects going forward. Before, I was very aware of and concerned with people’s assessments. Because of that, the breadth of my movement became narrow. Now, rather than being shaken by others’ gaze, I want to center myself and walk the path I want to walk, find the path I need to walk. I want to put down my burdens and anxiety. If I build my efforts continuously like that, I’m sure I will become a good actress.

Through Anna, it feels like you’ve stepped deeper into the path as an actress. My will toward acting has been elevated, and my curiosities have increased too. I’ve started to ask myself questions like what kind of acting is more natural and will evoke an even deeper emotion, how diverse of a role will I be able to pull off, and what kind of a person is a good actor. Going forward, steadily and diligently, I am going to find those answers. Truthfully, my personality is not one that sets a distant goal and dreams big. I tend to place importance on things right in front of me, and putting my best into achieving that. When I’m doing SNSD activities, I pour all of my energy into the stage, and when I act, I try hard to pull out as much as possible in front of the camera. If sincere steps are piled up over time, even if progress is slow, I believe that I will be better bit by bit. I must be becoming a bit broader, and a bit deeper. I hope I will be able to meet myself who is definitely a bit better than I was yesterday.

I heard you already confirmed the next project? I was surprised once again hearing that it’s a historical drama. We’ll be able to meet pretty Yoona wearing hanbok. It’s a historical melodrama called <The King Loves>, broadcasting early next year. As the daughter of the wealthiest man in Goryeo, it will be a romance with Im Siwan oppa. I’ve done a historical drama in China, but it’s my first one domestically, so I’m curious and I’m really anticipating it. With this piece too, I wanted to show a new face again. Through <The K2> I’ve overcome my fear and worries toward new attempts, so I want to attempt a transformation even more proactively. Regardless, I want to continue to have diverse experiences. Whether it does well or not, whether I receive good feedback or not, I don’t want to become caught up in that and courageously get into a new role. Also early next year, I will be able to meet everyone through the big screen. My first movie <Confidential Assignment> will open. I don’t have a big role, but it’s meaningful because it’s my first.

You’re hardworking. As an actress, I wonder if this is an era where you take leaps with each step. Now that we look back, it has been 10 years since your debut. Before we looked at sunbaenims who got to their ‘10th year’ and thought it’s cool and amazing but now that I encounter the number ‘10’, it’s hard to believe. It doesn’t seem like that much time has passed, but it feels awkward. But when I look back, I worked hard and I was happy because I received a lot of love. As a person who is in their ‘10th year’, I still have many areas where I’m inadequate, but I think I have become very natural among people and in society. It must be because I was beside good people, and fans, who warmly look at me without change. I’m very thankful for that.

Since we saw your potential as a good actress, we’ll expect a lot more from Yoona from now on. We are cheering on the start of your new plan. When I look back in the last 10 years, I was participated in five projects. I think there will be a lot of people who think that it’s a slower progression than they thought. Truthfully, I was scared of shattering or breaking so I held back a lot, but now I want to take bigger strides. I still get nervous and shaky when I go on set, but it’s still fun and enjoyable. One thing I wish for is to be able to always show a new face to the public. I want to be a person who generates curiosity and anticipation of, ‘What side of Yoona will she show next?’. Even after a long time, becoming an ‘actress people are curious about’ is a current dream of mine as an actress.