#but im just so tired and fed up of crazy shit happening all the time i wish the world would just CHILL

[hellishgayliath]

Helli hellooo

I’m burnt-out tired

What’s your name?

Hellooooooo burnt-out tired you can call me fed-up fucker ✌✌✌

Hades says hello too

[sunshinesroom]

why do i do this to myself? why do i love the self sabotage i impose upon myself? why do i continuously strive for the feeling, of feeling like nothing to anyone? i hate feeling the way i do and i certainly wish i could stop it. i don’t know how. i don’t know how to stop from saying and making decisions, not every part of me agrees with. i don’t know how to stop the anxiety of trying to understand. i don’t know how to stop seeing the patterns in all the things that happen in my life. how do you make it stop? what is one supposed to do when the urge and the impulse to know how someone feels, is so uncontrollably uncomfortable, that you have no choice but to flow with the urge? what do i do? how do i make it stop? the medication only helps for so long before i feel like shit again and the weed i smoke only lasts so long. tell me how. i feel like people expect me to know how to be and i feel like i literally just started existing. how does one know how to be when they don’t even fully know themselves? why do i have to be the one to know and be prepared? why can’t i, just once, be the one someone grovels over? why can’t i be looked at as the muse? why do i feel so attached to this dream and why does it feel so fucking real? why does it feel so real if it’s all talk? why do i only understand what it all means when i’m by her side? why doesn’t she see me? why does she see past me when she is all i can see? why her? why did god put her in my life, just to take her away? why why why? i don’t understand why i feel the way i do when i know it’s all going to be over soon; nothing is going to matter after she goes and i will return to the small, feble life that i was in before she came around. i know why i stay and i know why it’s so painful; i believe in it so much, im blind to the reality that she will never want me in the same way. she will leave, live her life so beautifully and i will remain in the world she left behind as if it never happened. why do i feel the way i do when i know it only hurts me in the end? why do i do this to myself, put myself in the positions that serve me the most pain? why does my brain catastrophize everything? why did god give me a fucking brain that makes everything feel like the world is always fucking ending; i’m prepared for anyone to walk away when they’re fed up with me and my feelings. it’s fucking exhausting, living and existing in this fucking brain, that isn’t just one brain, mind you. and that is why i feel crazy; bc i’m not the only mind that exists in this body and i am not just one singular person. disassociation has created different parts of me im not always in control of and that in itself is impossible to manage. how is one supposed to function like this? why do i pick people who aren’t caring about it? about my needs as a someone who just wants to live and figure out the world around them? why do i chose people who don’t look to understand me? why do i always feel so misunderstood, when i am so clear about what i need? i’m so tired. maybe i’m just meant to be alone. maybe i’m just destined to never be understood and seen. i want to be seen and heard and understood. i guess i do it to myself; give people the reasons to defend misunderstandings. i’m confusing to myself, how can i expect anyone to be able to understand. how foolish of me to believe that anyone would actually take the time to understand me, and make it last. how dumb i am for thinking i meant more to anyone. it will be my fault for trying when my effort didn’t mean anything to anyone, truly. catastrophizing everything again. i’m sorry, it’s how my brain is wired, and if you think you’re tired, try existing in the constant thought that everything around you is always falling apart 100% of the time. i fucking wish i didn’t feel this way and i would literally do anything to make it stop. i am losing my mind trying to be and exist for people who don’t make me feel like they care or that i matter more. when did i become so hateful of myself? when did i start to believe that i was nothing? i just want to know i matter.

[oops-aquarius]

tainted kisses

summary: steve needs some relaxation, which you provide to him

warnings: smut (!!!!), praise kink, slight degradation kink, a little bit of angst cuz a hoe is sad, oral fixation (duh), slight dom/sub dynamics (?), mentions of sadness/depression, tiny mommy kink (like barely there)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.2k

note(s): not edited well at all, also i used a prompt generator to get the promt i used (which is below !!)

prompt: “baths or water (tubs or jacuzzis; hot springs; water houses or steam rooms; the ocean; swimming pools.”

kink: “Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one's lip(s))”

--

***this is post-endgame except nobody died, cause im a hoe for all of the avengers***

Steve never realized how much he liked things in his mouth. Not always in a sexual way, at least not until after fighting Thanos.

After fighting for so long, bottling up his emotions was not at all how Steve needed to cope. He tried the yoga and meditation route Wanda had so kindly suggested. Yeah, after one session of hot yoga, Steve decided that it wasn't going to happen. Tony, obviously, suggested sex. Said something about it being a “healing experience for the soul”. That’s bullshit were Steve’s first thoughts when that came out of his mouth. Bucky told him to get some goats and raved about how therapeutic it was to raise them. But Steve could barely take care of himself, how would he even take care of a goat? Steve felt a hot sense of hopelessness burn against the back of his eyes as he sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the adjoined bathroom door.

“Steve?” A soft knock came from the front door. He took his thumb away from his mouth, he had resorted to subconsciously nibbling on the tip of it. Pulling himself off the door and towards the voice, he rubbed his tear-stricken cheeks in attempts to clean himself up a bit before seeing you.

“One sec, Y/N/N.”

When he opened the door, your face softened a bit before the smile that Steve, secretly, loved so much dropped off your face completely. “Stevie, what happened?”

Stevie, a nickname he hated for his entire life. A name that reminded him of the days before the super solider serum where he was a little guy getting beaten up on the streets of Brooklyn. Stevie, a nickname he loved hearing from your caring voice. Nobody else’s. 

“Just tired, Y/N” he sighed, “so,so tired.”

“Stevie,” your voice caught at the back of your throat. Seeing him in so much pain made your life turn upside down. He doesn't deserve to be in pain. “ S’there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Just stay with me? Please?”

You took him back into his bed and sat with him, just talking about life until his breathing turned back to normal and he seemed partially-okay. 

“Do you want to take a bath?” you asked, still stroking the blonde strands of his hair.

“Are you saying I smell?” He took his face out of the crook of your shoulder, feigning a look of hurt.

“No, punk, I meant to relax. You seemed pretty shaken up and I just wanted to help. I mean, that’s what I do when I feel down, relax in a bat-”

He cuts you off, “I appreciate it. Really, Y/N, I don’t know many people that are as loving and caring as you, sweetheart.” The nickname made a pang in your heart. You had like the super solider since you had met him, but never felt like he reciprocated the feelings. Even though you both cuddled often, and had movie nights, and he always let you beat him while sparring, and that one time you came down with a stomach bug and he fed you soup and-holy shit. Did Steve like you? “Sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“I said, ‘A bath does sound nice’. What’s got you so suddenly zoned out?” He says, donning a smirk.

“It’s nothing. Let’s get you into that bath, mister,” you had a faux grumpy look on your face as you got up and walked to the bathroom, starting to fill the white, ceramic bathtub with warm water. “Okay, big boy. You need help getting up or are you okay?”

Rolling his eyes at your inauthentic tone, Steve pushes his tensed frame off the body and managed to stumble into the bathroom, while you following him closely to make sure he doesn't fall over from exhaustion.

“I get it, I’m old, but damn Y/N. I can walk perfectly fine,” He chuckles as he pushes himself up to sit on the counter top.

You start to fill up the bathtub with warm water, adding bubbles and lighting a few scented candles. He looked so pretty, hair sticking out in every direction, lips pink and puffy from biting them, his ocean blue eyes still misty as he looks down at his cuticles, picking them slightly. 

“Okay, I’m gonna leave so you can take this bath,” you say, shutting off the faucet, “Got it?”

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Stevie.”

“Stay, please.” His eyes were watering more than earlier. He had those puppy dog eyes, lip quivering as his voice cracked and wavered even with just a few words. He looked so vulnerable, how could you say no to him?

“Of course, Steve. I mean, the bubbles with kind of cover everything. I’ll just sit next to the tub with you, alright?” You awkwardly giggled and scratched the back of your neck. He nodded, hopping off of the counter and starting to undress himself with a wobble. “Stevie, you’re shaking like a leaf, let me help you.”

His eyes never met yours as you helped him pull his t-shirt over his head and looped your delicate fingers through the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging them down his muscular thighs. “You’re not gonna finish your job, doll?”

His boxers. The only clothes he had left on were his grey boxers. You wanted to give him privacy and not look, especially in such a broken and vulnerable state. But god, you could see the outline of his partially-hard cock through the soft cotton. You thought about what it would be like to have your mouth around his hard length, chocking on it as he rammed himself into the back of your throat.

“Ummm, I just--I thought--I mean I can---Only if you want--” The dirty thoughts clouded your brain. It made speaking a speaking a sentence almost impossible as your mouth watered just thinking about his cock.

“It was a joke, sweetheart,” he laughed heartily, “You’re too adorable.”

Pulling his boxers down his legs, he waddled tiredly over to the tub before stepping in. He groaned in pleasure at the feeling of the warm water encapsulating his exhausted body. You imagined that’s how he’d groan if you sucked his cock so hard he was seeing stars.

You were still facing the door, like you were as Steve got completely undressed. You knew if you turned around and look at him, naked and at ease, you’d jump his bones in a heartbeat. “Come sit with me, Y/N”

And you did. You turned around cautiously, like you expected, the bubbles covered his body enough for you to be able to handle yourself as you sat down next to the tub. You grabbed his hand away from his lips, running your soft fingers over his rough calloused ones. “I always see you biting your nails or cuticle or lips or your pens. Why?”

He sighed, “I’m not sure, I guess it just distracts me?” He said it more like it was a question rather than a statement. “I guess I don’t truly know why I do it, I guess I just enjoy having things in my mouth.”

You could read Steve like a book, his pupils blown with lust, his lip stuck between his teeth, a blush heating up his cheeks. You took a leap of faith.

“Yeah, like what?”

“You.”

His lips were on yours in a flurry, it took a second for you to react, but as soon as you did it felt amazing. Neither of you seemed to care about the water splashing over you as his hands trailed up your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

He pulls away panting, “F-Fuck, Y/N, I need you. Please. Oh my god I need you so bad,” His eyes looked as if they were welling up with tears and he looked so pretty still in the relaxing bubble bath, whimpering and whining for you. 

“God, I need you too, baby,” you stop to look in his eyes sincerely, “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do or that you will regret.” Your hand caresses his cheek.

“Just get in here with me and I’ll show you how much I want you,” he whispered, “Need you, really.”

You sighed before your hands moved shakily to take off your t shirt. As much as you wanted this, you were still scared of how the ripped super solider would feel about you and your body, As soon as your shirt was off, Steve was whimpering, dipping his hand into the soapy water to massage his aching cock. This only spurred you to take off your clothes and join him faster. 

“Did I say you could touch yourself, puppy?” Your stern voice caught him off-guard, making him pause his actions with a look of fear on his face. You step into the bathtub, straddling him. Your nails raked up his milky white thighs, trailing up his body admiring the beauty of it. “Y’Know I was planning on being nice to you because you’ve been so good to me, but you might need to be punished, baby? Do you need to punshied like a brat?”

He mewled, bowing his head in shame. You could feel him growing harder and harder by the second and you were starting to go crazy with the empty feeling inside of you that on he could fill. “No, ma’am. I’ll be good, I swear!”

“Mmmm, that’s my good boy.” Your hands slid up his chest and rested on his cheeks, hearing him preen at your praise, as you repositioned yourself over his cock. “Are you sure you want this?”

“If you dont ride me into next week right fucking now I’m going to scream, Y/N,” He breathed out with a chuckle, Grabbing your thighs, he helps you sink down on his cock. Both of you were moaning and whimpering messes by the time you were sitting at this base of him, trying to get adjusted to his large size. 

Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes as soon as you lifted yourself up off of him, only leaving the tip of him inside of you, and slamming back down on his dick. 

“Baby-please,” he whimpered, “n-need, shit, need your fingers, bad.” 

You were confused, slowing down a bit to make sure he was okay. But his puppy dog eyes showed that he was okay. Slowly taking your wrist from his cheek, he puts your fingers in his warm mouth. Moaning around them and swirling his tongue around them. He did it the same way you always dreamed about sucking his dick, chocking and gagging on his length.

“Yeah, you’re such a needy little slut for me, for this pussy. Look at you, so ruined and fucked out just because I’m fucking you.” He moaned sensually at your words making your core tighten impossibly. 

You had gotten a good idea as you were riding him. Slowly, you start to thrust your hand in and out of his mouth, watching the saliva dribble out of the corners of his mouth as he choked on you. The band in your tummy starts tightening as you feel yourself getting close. 

“Shit, fuck, baby, I’m gonna come. Oh my god, you’re make me come with your beautiful cock, puppy. So good for me, aren’t you?” Your free hand dips into the water, cupping his balls and rolling them around your soft palm.

He nods, choking on your nimble finger yet again his you massage his sensitive balls. “Gonna come,” he slurred and spit around you.\, “almost there.”

“I didn’t” you moaned as you feel his balls tighten, fall back down on his cock at a faster pace, “give you permission to do that. I thought you were going to be good for me?”

“I am” he spluttered loudly, “i am good, I swear. Just please let me come. I need it, oh shit, mommy.”

The name went straight to your core, making you grow weak as you feebly give him permission to come as you come undone with one more bounce on his large member. His hands come up to grope your breasts as he come with hot spurts inside of your tight cunt. 

“Oh my god,” you stifle a giggle as you stand up on shaky legs. You wordlessly helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a white towel, walking him to bed while you dried yourself off. Collapsing on the bed with a grunt, the solider hollds out his hand to you, signalling you to lay down with him. You could easily tell he was still coming down from his sex high, starting to regain his self back.

“I dont know what possessed me to,” he pauses, trying to figure out a way to word the rest of his sentence, “to suck, I guess, on your hand. I’m sorry, Y/N, that was really weird of me.”

“What do’ya mean, baby? Having an oral fixation isn’t something to be ashamed of.” The words make him smile with droopy eyes, tucking his head into your neck and starting to fall asleep, happy and comfortable, cuddling you.

“And to be honest, puppy. I think it’s really hot.”

[yayeetsonny]

Always Tell The Truth Part 2 ~ USWNT x Reader

Okay so if you haven’t read the first part of this, which I will put here. Always tell the truth part 1 I suggest you do that, otherwise this one will make no sense. Also sorry... again for being gone so long. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. :)

-N

Previously...

“Those bruises, Y/N, where’d you get them?” 

“I. Don’t. Know.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine then, don’t believe me. First Alex, then Christen and now you. This is just great, my teammates think I’m a liar. Well I’m not and I’m telling you the truth.”

I brushed by her and stormed out of the room, now determined to avoid my teammates so they’d stop asking questions and questioning my honesty.

“I’m not a liar. I don’t know where I got the bruises, I don’t know why they won’t believe me.”

Present

After I stormed out of the room I share with Ali I ran... yes literally ran out of the hotel and out into the street. Well okay it was more like the sidewalk but whatever, I’m going for dramatic story telling here. I was angry, hurt and confused as to why my teammates couldn’t just believe me. I’ve never lied to them before, not ever. If something was going on I would have told them. And I genuinely have no clue where these bruises came from, I don’t remember hurting myself badly in practices or games and I don’t do any other crazy activities that would warrant the sudden appearance of severe looking injuries. I knew I just needed to clear my head so I started walking in a random direction hoping to get my thoughts together.

After a while I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and knew it was probably one of my teammates looking for me so I ignored it. My phone stopped ringing only for a short time before it stared up again. This went on for several long minutes before it finally stopped. After each attempt from whoever was trying reach me there was a separate single vibrate indicating they left a message. I felt a little guilty for disappearing and probably worrying everyone but they shouldn’t have assumed or accused me of lying. Thinking they finally got the message that I didn’t want to speak to them I continued walking god knows where trying to think of what to say when I finally decided to go back. I was really deep in thought, trying to remember if and when I got the bruises. Obviously they don’t just appear like magic. They have to be caused by something, but... what? All the sudden I was hit with a vague memory

“Huh?... Wha- where am I?”

“You fell asleep on the couch dear. Don’t you remember? It was really adorable actually. My mom said super sweetly.

That’s weird, she’s never overly sweet with me, like ever.

“No, I don’t remember doing that.”

I looked around and the tv was on, which is also rare. It was playing a random comedy movie. Comedy? My parents don’t even like comedy movies.

“Oh well you did. Right after dinner, you dragged your feet over to the couch and was out like a light before we knew it.” She said casually.

My dad waltzed in like everything was totally normal. What the fuck is going on. Why don’t I even remember eating dinner? How long have I been here? Why does my body hurt so much?

I came back to the present feeling slightly uneasy. I remembered now a little bit of what happened when I got to my parents house and a little bit of what happened after I woke up from my nap. They managed to convince me everything was fine after that and I left assuming they were telling me the truth because I was too tired and too annoyed to argue. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered just how much of what they said is true. Why were there huge gaps in my time with them? And why do I get the feeling that the weird gut feeling I have isn’t a coincidence? I got lost in thought again but it was peaceful this time and quiet which I was relishing in.

Unfortunately the peace and quiet only lasted for a few minutes when I started to get what I assumed were dozens of texts. I finally got fed up and decided to silence my phone completely. When I unlocked it I saw a glimpse of some of the worried texts from the team. They all pretty much said the same thing;

“Y/N please come back. I’m sorry for saying I didn’t believe you. I’m just concerned about you. I want to talk and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just please come back.”- Ali

“Hey kid, heard what happened. Wanna talk?”- T

“Y/n where are you? I heard what happened and that you left?? please come back, we’re worried.”- Christen

“Bruh what the hell? let’s talk?”- Ash

“where r u?”- Mal

“It’s not safe for you to be out by yourself. Ali told us about the other bruises. Whatever this is we’ll help you. We’re gonna start searching for you if you don’t get your ass back here soon. We love you.”- Alex

And it went on like that as every single member of the team texted me some variation of that and the voicemails they all left were much the same. I started to feel more guilty but let my anger keep me from replying to them. They can stew a little longer.

Meanwhile back at the Hotel...

CHRISTEN PRO//

“Okay, so tell us exactly what happened.”

“I saw the bruises when she was changing, which I happened to walk in on. I don’t think she was expecting me. I asked her what happened and she said that nothing had happened and I asked her about the bruises I saw on her arm, shoulder and spine and she continued to tell me she has no idea where they came from. I told her I didn’t believe her and then she got upset and she just... left.”

“Just like that? She didn’t say where she was going?”

“No, she was so angry she just stormed out and when I tried to follow after her she was already gone.”

“And she’s still not answering her phone. Damnit kid come on, where are you?”

“She’s not safe out there on her own, we have to go look for her.”

“And how are we supposed to find her when she doesn’t have her location on and is doing everything she can’t to ignore us?”

“I have no idea but we have to try.”

“We will, but we should give her a little more time. It’s possible she’s just around the corner cooling off. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

“You’re right.”

“Guys I hate to steer us back into more serious topics but shouldn’t we be talking about the bruises she has that started all of this?”

“What do you guys think they’re from?” Megan asked.

“I want to believe her when she says she doesn’t know but I mean how can you just not know about bruises as severe as those?” Ash said.

“I mean... I’ve had some pretty bad ones I don’t remember getting from anywhere.” Mal said off-handily.

I saw some of the rest of the team nod silently, indicating that they too had, had the same thing happen to them. And I had to admit that I had my fair share of bumps and bruises that I couldn’t explain because they just seemed to appear but I was still concerned for our youngest teammate as it was getting pretty late and it was already dark outside.

“Oh god, you don’t think it’s her parents do you?” Tobin asked no one in particular.

We all paused for a moment to process what she was implying and I know we were silently hoping, praying that they wouldn’t do that to her. That they wouldn’t beat their own child.

“No, there’s no way. She’s told us that they love and support her and that even though they aren’t around much they still care about her.”

“Right, you’re right.”

“It has to be them though, I mean there’s no other explanation. She didn’t have them before or after practice right?” Alex asked.

“No, she didn’t.” Lindsey said solemnly.

“Do you really think parents can just flip a switch? Just like that? Be caring and supportive one minute and violent then next?”

“It’s possible.”

“No, just don’t even go there. I refuse to believe they would do that.”

“We would have seen the bruises if she had them before, since we all change in the same locker room together for practices and games remember?” I said

“Fuck. When I get my hands on them I swear to god...”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence because Y/n walked into the dining hall where we were all gathered.

“Get your hands on who?” She asked quietly

“Kid...”

“Y/n holy shit, thank god.”

“And she lives!... not the time? Got it.”

“Y/N... we need to talk.”

“Why? There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know what Ali told you, but I don’t know where these fucking bruises came from okay? I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. If you don’t believe me that’s fine but i’m not talking about it anymore.”

“Sweetie please just hear us out okay? We’re worried about you and getting defensive about them isn’t helping your case.” I said, trying to reach out for her but she backed away from me.

“Defensive? I’m just upset because you all still don’t seem to get it.”

“We want to get it, please just talk to us.”

“No.”

“Y/N, please just...”

“No! Okay, just no. I said we weren’t talking about it again and that’s final. What happened to “I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.” Huh, Ali? Good to know that was complete bullshit.”

“I’m sorry baby, please believe me, we just...”

“Oh believe you? For what? You clearly still don’t believe me so why should I give you that courtesy? You know what, this is all just fucking stupid anyways. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

And with that she disappeared up to the room she’s sharing with Ali. Leaving us all more confused and concerned than ever.

“Well... that went well.”

“Shut up Emily, so not the time.”

//End

Okay so yes that is yet another cliffhanger of sorts, I’m sorry but I thought that was a good place to end it. Just know that Y/N genuinely doesn’t remember a lot of what’s going on, just like she says. Her parents are definitely sus asf.

I’m actually writing part 3 rn so that should be up within the next day or so. I know I keep disappearing but my life is totally a mess rn lol. I’m back now tho and am excited to finally get to all the requests I have. Im so sorry for those waiting I haven’t forgotten. Promise.

-N

//

Not edited.

[poguesgold]

how did you feel about season? i know most people liked it better than season 1 but i’m not sure how i feel yet🤔 might need to rewatch it

okay this ended up soooo long so i'm giving a tl;dr review here and if anyone cares to read my insanely long thought dump you can feel free. this part is spoiler free also!!

cons: i think they should have further developed the s1 storyline rather than conjuring up an entirely new treasure and conflict; i don't think they did the characters justice a lot of the time, particularly kie and jj; too much yelling and running not enough hanging out; the finale cliff hanger was a stupid writing choice

pros: cleo!!; pope-centric plotline!!!; amazing jjpope moments in the improv sequences; never a boring moment; rafebarry oh my god????; neck kiss shirtless wrestling holding hands standing unnecessarily close jjpope rot; just a straight up nine hour long adrenaline rush and i love that shit.

overall: i definitely did not like it more than s1, but i still REALLY loved it. i think it's worth the watch, just don't go into it expecting good writing or realistic injuries or a comprehensive plot LMFAO. what saves the season is the pogues' chemistry and their improv sequences, for real. and cleo. you WILL get angry about the shitty script and characterization if you’re really invested in that part of things, but as far as vibes and dopamine high it was awesome. it was a fun watch and i'll definitely rewatch at least once to soak it in properly

please this is going to be soooo long i apologize in advance. but i have a lot of thoughts. also ⚠️⚠️spoilers ahead!!⚠️⚠️

most of this review is going to be criticisms tbh so sorry for that but this show kinda sucks (affectionately<3)

i thought season 2 was an absolute TRAINWRECK as far as writing goes. jonas pate was basically like. this season we're going to have an even BIGGER and BETTER treasure!!! but the exact same thing is going to happen. like. we already had gold. and that's what they were going to the bahamas for at the end of season 1 for anyway????? it would have been so easy to just develop the original storyline further, i just cannot figure out why they would completely abandon it for another mediocre storyline. (i LOVED that this other mediocre storyline was pope-centric and the main character energy he was given this season. but. they. could have done that?? with the first storyline?????)

i hate that they brought big john back so so much. SO much. literally it was the stupidest most idiotic lazy cheesy plot choice in the world. it doesn't make sense, we like saw his literal bones at one point like his lifeless corpse, and WHY would they bring back a key character from the PREVIOUS ARC when they created an ENTIRELY NEW CONFLICT AND PLOTLINE FOR THIS SEASON???? jonas pate stuck it in for shock value and cliff hanger in hopes of securing a season 3, and i hate him for it. he's such a terrible writer white men have it so easy

someone in the neck kiss truthers discord earlier pointed out that jb's dead father returning after like a year and a half of thinking he was dead would probably be more traumatic that healing at this point, and i agree so much. also, you know that they're not going to use it for good either way. they're going to use his dad coming back as a way to further traumatize him somehow because obx writers are jombeephobic. and i wouldn't put it past them to bring him back just to kill him off again. jonas pate wants to write john b torture porn and i am TIRED of it

my least favorite thing about season 2 was the characterization. they really did just disregard the characters they created in season 1. kie was completely ooc for like three episodes, and it wasn't because she was mourning. it was just shitty writing. she had no character outside of her relationships this season, which has been my fear from the very beginning and why i have never wanted kie with any of the pogues. season 2 diminished her character to the female love interest, and that just sucked so bad for her.

whether you're a jjpope or not, season 2 completely changed their friendship dynamic. the only time we got glimpses of the season 1 jjpope dynamic was in the improv sequences when rudy and jd took it upon themselves. also during their hugs LMFAO. which is also an acting choice. the writing completely disregarded their friendship and dynamic. it was weird as fuck it was all weird. i also hated that kie and sarah's scripted interactions were just them talking about boys. another case of friendships again being completely disregarded for the cishet relationships. 

i just really feel like all of the characters were handled poorly this season, which is crazy because literally ALL we asked for was backstory and character development and pogue screentime. but jonas pate instead decided to write ten episodes of nonstop running and yelling and fuckinf adrenaline, with an ooc script. for funsies

i feel like the magic of season 1 was lost. the vibe of season 1 that makes it so comforting and rewatchable and lovely is sort of just lost in all the silly plot. we see snatches of it here and there, but they feel crammed between unnecessary action scenes and stunts and shouting when we would have been happy with ten episodes of the pogues hanging out in each other's bedrooms.

NOW IM GOING TO TALK THINGS I LIKED OKAY OKAY

i seriously DID love watching it. we pulled an all nighter in the neck truthers discord and binged the entire season and the adrenaline of that kept me going for the rest of the week. it was literally fucking insane absolutely batshit and i LOVED it. the writing was horrible but like. it's obx we know it isn't good LMFAOO. it's part of the charm

i definitely don't like it more than s1, but i did still like it a lot. i LOVED how pope centric it was, like he fr had such main character energy this season and it was wonderful. even though the storyline was weird and didn't make sense jd did so well lolol he did so wonderfully. i loved seeing pope get the attention he deserves this season.

JJPOPE MOMENTS. i was definitely sad they didn't have an arc to themselves like they did season 1, but oh my god jd and rudy FED US with jjpope improv moments this season. the NECK KISS? the WRESTLING? every single one of their hugs?????? they're insane. it sucked that they really didn't have any scenes alone but we take what we can get.

SPEAKING OF GAYS LET'S TALK ABOUT RAFEBARRY. because?? oh my god??? first season it was like a crack ship and then season 2 came out and... what are we supposed to do ignore it? they are literally??? gay????? it's jarring they're insane. i am so so invested in them it's kind of unreal how deep i got into this ship in such a short amount of time (follow @rafebarry babies <33)

cleo. i love cleo. the best new thing to come out of this season for sure. clarah is coming strong i can feel it and i am SO ready. i know that they're most likely going to move toward a cleopope romance next season, which i don't hate? i'm bothered only because a) it's obvious it's mostly being done to get pope out of the way for jiara, and b) i think people often push two dark-skinned characters into a ship just because they're both dark-skinned, and that yucks me out. but i will say i really liked their moments together in s2 and i think they could be really good together if they're canon s3 (which they probably will be.)

overall like. it was a fun watch. i retained like 2% of the plot i was just there for the vibes and dopamine high and that was totally fine. i want to take the pogues out of jonas pate’s greedy little white man fingers and give them the character and relationship development they deserve, but we can’t have it all i guess. the cinematography this season i think i liked better than season 1, wasn’t a huge fan of that weird yellow filter tho. also the lighting. obx lighting guys get demoted challenge. umm yeah season 1 supremacy but season 2 had amazing vibes

[cherry-flavoured-thot]

| Wishing It Was You |

Fandom: Obey Me!

Pairing: Mammon x (GN)Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Mammon calls you at ungodly hours of the morning, fitting for a demon, but what does he want? (we all know)

a/n: wtf consistently writing fics is weird for me, don’t get used to being this well fed. also beel owns my heart yet im out here writing nasty shit for mammon hmm

there isn’t much nasty from reader’s side because writing gn smut can be complicated at times for me

It was painfully late when your phone had started ringing and part of you thought about rolling over and ignoring whoever had decided to call you considering how late it was, but you go to check the Caller ID before making your decision. When you noticed it was Mammon who was calling you decided to pick up, because you had promised him after you returned to the human world that you would always answer when he called, even if it was way after midnight and you were feeling tired.

“I can’t believe you made me wait so long for you to pick up!” You’re greeted by Mammon's shouts that almost make him seem offended by how long it took you to answer, the second you accept the call, you roll your eyes despite knowing he can’t see you doing so.

“Be grateful I even picked up because I thought about rolling over and going to sleep.” There’s a silence over the line for a moment, which makes you think he’s sulking because you were going to ignore him.

“Rude.” He mutters, yep he was sulking.

“Well I didn’t know you were calling me until I bothered to check.”

“Oh so now you can’t even be bothered talking to me?” You can hear him pouting over the line and it makes you want to laugh and sigh simultaneously.

“If you’re going to act like that maybe I’ll just hang up on you,” you jokingly threaten.

“What? No!” His voice almost cracked from how quickly his tone changed, causing you to let out a small laugh.

“I’m only joking.” He mumbles something that you can’t quite make out but you decide not to worry about it. “So why exactly are you calling me after midnight?” You’re met with silence again, when he finally does speak again he’s struggling to get the words right.

“I-i just wanted to hear your voice,” you could just picture how flustered he must’ve been while saying that.

“Are you feeling alright? You sounded like you were in pain trying to say that,” you tease and he lets out a groan of annoyance. “What?” you ask, pretending that you weren’t teasing him.

“You’re not even here and you’re driving me crazy,” he murmurs and you’re not entirely sure how to respond.

“Sorry?” It’s more of a question than an apology, which he takes a moment to respond to, you wonder if something is wrong due to how quiet Mammon is.

“I had a dream about you,” he says eventually.

“What sort of dream?” You hear him suck in a deep breath, as he hesitates to speak.

“...a sexy one.” He confesses and you grin.

“The Great Mammon having a wet dream about a human how unsightly!” He lets out a growl and you can’t ignore the small back flip your stomach makes upon hearing it.

“Don’t tease me! It’s your fault.”

“You’re blaming me for your imagination?”

“No! It’s just you’re always in my thoughts and it’s so annoying.”

“Still don’t see how it’s my fault or my problem.” Your tone has him back-peddling pretty quickly.

“I uh wait, sorry,” he’s hesitant again, pausing to try and muster the willpower to say his next sentence. “Listen I tried to make it go away... but I couldn’t finish,” the thought of Mammon’s hand wrapped around his cock while crying out your name flashes through your mind quickly causing heat to pool at your sex.

“Are you touching yourself right now?”

“no I was um,” his voice trails off but you finish his sentence for him.

“Waiting for my permission? such a good boy,” you coo, his breath immediately hitches at your praise, “well what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to help me finish- please,” he sounds so needy as he pleads with you.

“Well considering you asked so nicely, I will. You can touch yourself,” you pause listening to the rustling over the side of the line, “so what happened in your dream?” He breathes in deeply.

“You were on your knees, my dick was in your mouth.”

“Is that what you want for me to do suck your cock? Is that what you’re picturing right now?” Your words cause a small whimper to escape him, you may not be able to tell how fast or how exactly he was touching himself but you knew he was probably speeding up the movements of his hands.

“Y-yes.” His breathy reply was proof of your suspicions.

“Mhm what else happened?”

“Then you ah rode me,” his sentence abruptly stops as a curse followed by moan fall from his lips, the sound makes your fingers trace your aching sex through your clothes. “I was so close to finishing in my dream but then you stopped in my dream a-and I woke up,” you smirk, noting how even in his dreams you were slightly sadistic.

“That’s a shame, lucky for you I won’t be as mean as my dream self. Are you getting close?” he curses again, before answering.

“Y-yeah.”

“You know I had a dream about you the other night,” you trail off remembering your dream vividly.

“You did?”

“Yes, I was face down on the bed while you were fucking me like an animal,” the mental image makes him groan.

“Fuck- I’m going to-” you quickly cut him off so you can finish telling him about your dream.

“But that’s not even the best part, when you made me cum in my dream, guess what I called you?” you can hear him trying to control himself while he waits for you to continue, “Mammon-sama.” Your finish your sentence in a low voice and you’re met with a curse and a strangled moan as he finishes.

You listen to his heavy breathing over the line, waiting for him to regain his breath so he can start talking again, silently wishing that you could’ve seen him when he came. Your body yearning for him or at least some form of attention other than your teasing fingers.

[armandyke]

hallo here are the hc's i whipped up for the teacher au!! i'm sorry this turned into an essay i'm just a dumbass who loves soft teacher au a lot!!

“not sure what the others would teach in this teacher au tho-” *wakes up in the dead of night with cold sweat* *kicks down the door* I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS!!

oh boy…get ready….cause it’s A LOT

- Submitted by @katgreeves

luther: physics teacher, cause you know…spaceboy……everyone is scared at the beginning of the year when they get him as a teacher cause he’s TALL AND HUGE AS FUUUUUCK, but then fast forward two months later and everyone is chill because turns out he’s a really easygoing and soft teacher…just really socially awkward and lowkey dumb sometimes

asshole kids in his classes use his softness to his disadvantage and pull pranks on him constantly, poor guy….the other kids tho always tell them to shove it tho because he may be soft and dumb and socially awkward but he’S OUR SOFT AND DUMB AND SOCIALLY AWKWARD TEACHER DON’T TOUCH HIM!! the first time they protected him he had to remind himself not to tear up because HE FELT SO LOVED!!!! 

he gets them snacks even if they’re not supposed in the science classrooms because “eXPeriMENts and CHEmIcALsSsSsssSS!!!” and will rant for hours about space and starts and THE MOOOOON cause when he was a kid he always wanted to be an astronaut ( :’))))))) ) and his kids get fed up one day and go “why don’t you just make an astrology club mr luther????” and he does and IT’S A REAL SUCCESS WITH THE SCHOOL BODY YAY!!!

(five when he grows up also becomes a physics teacher and pesters luther all the time like “I AM 10 TIMES THE TEACHER YOU EVER WERE-” “NO YOU AREN’T STFU” and he’s technically wrong and right because material wise??? yes he’s 100% the better teacher and he always has answers to the kids questions and teaches them extra content cause he’s always been a genius but as a physics teacher that kids really like????? no siree that title goes to luther because he was a soft teddy bear to his students and they trusted him while five is eccentric and strict the the point where his kids are scared the FUCK out of him)

diego: pe teacher, SWEARS SO MUCH IN FRONT OF THE KIDS IN CLASS OMG HOW IS HE NOT FIRED YET?? is tough on the kids sometimes so push harder but IS ALSO SOFT AND REALLY ENCOURAGING THE KIDS TO WORK AND TRY THEIR BEST BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN THEM!!! (except for the group of cocky assholes he’ll get in every class and don’t want to listen to them…he has personally removed their rights in the class)

whenever the self-defense unit comes around he’s sooooo dedicated to it and makes sure that the kids master everything to a t, cause who knows when it might come in handy??? he wants to make sure that the kids know how to protect themselves as the world is a shitty place and you never know when shit will go bad (except he does…he’s had enough bullshit and scared happen to him and has gotten involved in so many fights that he wants to make sure that the kids won’t hurt like him :“’))))))))) ) 

he’s a secret softie that will protect the kind kids that are not as good at pe and get bullied by the cocky assholes in the class becAUSE THAT’S JUST WHAT HE WOULD DO NO IM NOT SELF PROJECTING OF WHAT I WANTED OUT OF MY PE TEACHERS SHUT U-

also eudora is a pe teacher and the two of them are very competitive to be the best pe teacher and this rivalry turns into playful flirting and big ass crushes that they’re way too stubborn to admit, the entire school still ships it anyways (the entire school also ships klaus and dave because gay rights!!!!!)

allison: either school counselor or principal i can’t decide because she can be super kind and open to talk and gives advice that helps a LOT but she’s also a hbic THAT CAN AND WILL run the place. 

anyways, whatever job she has, she also helps with the drama club and school plays, and literally every year the theatre kids BEG HER to kick out the current drama teachers and replace them because allison>>>>>>>>>>>> all of the existing drama teachers there  

ben: is either a literature or philosophy teacher. super smart and knowledgable but is also really laid back and fun to talk to. he’s got a dark and snarky sense of humor and his students always have sass battles with him. the number of INSANE inside jokes his students and him share is HUGE.

HE DEMANDS THAT HIS STUDENTS PARTAKE IN READING TIME IN THE BEGINNING OF CLASS NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO BECAUSE READING IN AN IMPORTANT SKILL AND HOBBY FOR DEVELOPMENT AS A READER, WRITER, LEARNER, AND OVERALL PERSON AND NO AMY DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME I’M THE TEACHER HERE AND I SAID NO ELECTRONICS SO PUT THE GODDAMN PHONE AWAY BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AN-

anyways…he is really considerate to what students need and makes them as relaxed as possible because school is HELL. students LOOOOOVE HIM. HE’S THE ONE TEACHER BESIDES DAVE THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE LIKES. (highkey inspired by my philosophy and lit teachers because they’re also really smart but sassy and cool like ben and I JUST THINK THEY’RE NEAT)

vanya: strings orchestra teacher for obvious reasons. she was real shy at first when she first got hired but the the strings department at that time was soooo small and crappy that she went “oh HELL no,” rolled up her sleeves, and set to revitalize it just because she cares about music so much.

she recruited more students, got more advanced music so the kids could feel a challenge and be motivated to improve, and collaborated with the choir and band departments to provide more clubs, events and opportunities outside of class for kids to do music.

she is a no business type of teacher when it comes to arrogant people that put other players down or people who don’t practice and goof around and will snap at them SO HARD because everyone needs to be at their a game for a concert and in an orchestra no single person is bigger that the collective. she’s however SOOOO SOFT with really soft playing and shy kids because she understands how it feels when you think your playing isn’t good enough, so gives them extra help, gives them solo lines or solos to play so they gain more confidence in themselves, all while constantly giving encouraging words about how much they’ve improved that always makes them feel better and more motivated to improve.

she’s an absolute anxious and cranky maniac a week before the concert but she throws parties with food, drinks, and games afterwards to celebrate with her kids. she constantly gets them to play music related games and challenges that they do as a class for team bonding to make things more entertaining in class. she makes dumb music puns a lot too! 

she also will in the class say crazy stories of her childhood and the crazy shit she and her siblings did and then somehow always relate it back to the lesson and make it some sage advice…the kids never understand how she does it

(me???? self projecting more of my teachers into this au cause they’re cool??? more likely than you think)

also one day she chops her hair real short and cute and the conversation with her students basically went like this:

students: miss vanya you cut your hair???

vanya: yes kids I’m a lesbian

students: !!!!!!!!!!!!

vanya: ;))))))))

students: MISS VANYA SAID GAY RIGHTS!!!!

vanya: HELL YE I DID!!!

bonus grace yayyyy!!!!!: is the school nurse…she’s so sweet, so soft….has precisely whatever people need when they feel sick/injured…helps them calm down in they’re freaking out…always has a couple of beds in the nurse’s office so people can lie if they feel dizzy…gives out candy/sweets/food to people so they feel better!!

diego meets her a lot because a lot of kids in his class gets injuries and he takes them to the nurse and he jUST LOVES HER SM!!! INSTANT MOM FIGURE!! THEY TALK AND JOKE AND LAUGH TOGETHER AND GRACE WILL ALWAYS GIVE HIM A PASTRY SHE MADE WHENEVER HE COMES BY AND HE JUST IS SO SOFT AROUND HER ITS GREAT (his students find his sudden change in his demeanour amusing “hey mr diego is nurse grace your MMMmoooOoOooOOOmMMMMMMmmmmmM??” “kid your a good one but say that shit to me one more time and I will beat the sh-”)

she always has a smile on her and everyone LOVES HER…..except for the administration that always want to get her fired because they are assholes and they think she’s too weird to stay. however, every time they try to fire her, a certain teacher comes by the office for what they claim is a civil discussion...and after an hour of yelling, death threats, and the door getting 10 knife marks they go “you know what grace…you can stay" 

those assholes are persistant though, and one time though not even a certain teacher could get them away from firing her so once the news breaks out that nurse grace is leaving the whole school is FURIOUS and throws a 1 week riot and the administration get so scared and tired that they just go "OK WERE SORRY JUST KIDDIN- OK OK SHE’S STAYING FOR GOOD JESUS”

grace is so grateful that she makes a whole bunch of cake for everyone and everyone with tears in their eyes just goes “this…is why we love you sm nurse mom”

~~okkkieee that’s the end of it sorry it’s a literal essay I just got very passionate about this au lmao rip!!! I’m slowly tempted to write a fic about it even though i’ve never written a fic before in my LIFE and I already have like 3 other au fic ideas in my head already smh

[papistark]

Okay. I’ve allowed a night to let everything sink in. I’m ready to talk about Endgame now.

*cinemasins voice* spoilers!! (duh..)

so the wounds are still fresh. v v v v v v v v v fresh. but my thoughts during the entire movie were just OMG IM TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS HAPPENING SO I CAN REMEMBER IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEFORE i inevitably go see this movie again

This is what the movie reduce me to like 99% of the time btw

now, I’m gonna try and break this up to be as organized as possible into 4 main sections which will be general thoughts, the highs, the lows, and closing thoughts. that may sound organized but I promise it won’t be and as always I’ll have to use bullet holes to even stay relatively "organized"

I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out that I either loved or would wanna discuss but tbh the ENTIRE FILM i was just like GOD I WANNA REMEMBER THIS FOREVER!! Every scene that happened i was like god there's still 3 hours of stuff that's going to happen but I want to remember it all!!!

Overall

this movie was good. and i’m mad it was so good and i found it so enjoyable for how dirty they did me. The pacing was pretty well done for a first viewing, but I'm sure after a couple rewatches I'll get caught up on the occasional misstep in the pacing and general direction the story took, but I really liked it!!

I thought the Thor stuff was kinda distasteful and honestly a joke that ran too long. Like ha ha okay we get it but also? He went through so much fucking trauma can we just lay off him? Damn? I don't wanna linger too much on it bc honestly the more I think about it the more I get upset the russos did him dirty

all the callbacks??? made me so emotional????? eleven years and almost two dozen films guys holy fucking shit it felt like such a good homage to bring stuff back

Yo literally when they went up to busted ass thanos i leaned over to my bf and whispered "are they just gonna kill thanos in the first ten minutes is that allowed" and uh YEP! WOW

Also the opening scene being Clint's family getting dusted... gasps in my theater y'all they went in hard on us

TIME HEIST!!!!!! FUCK marvel knows how to take you on a fun journey!! The concept was so fun!!

I also appreciate them mixing up the plot a bunch to keep us guessing!! Like fuck, when Thanos was finding out through Nebula... future nebula talking to past gamora i was SO SOFT... sisters...

Hulk was... weird. It felt a weird kind of fanservicey for a little bit, and honestly a little out of place? But. Eh. Wasn't the worst part. Certain parts of it were fun! I think I got used to it haha

Everyone looked. So good. After the time jump. Damn. Thank you make up department for everyone's new looks. I live for silver fox tony always.

I loved seeing Loki again i know it was so little content BUT I DONT CARE I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY FUCKING PRINCE

We didn't get as much Nebula and Tony content as I was hoping but god it was so cute and tender in the beginning. Imagine all that bonding. Nebula finding tony on the floor, knowing he's on the brink of death, and propping him up in the seat :'(((( tony helping fix nebula :(((( the father daughter relationship we deserved and didn't get to see come to fruition.

AMERICA'S ASS. THANK YOU SCOTT LANG.

All the New York flash back was so fucking fun. The elevator scene. Brilliant. I really thought they were gonna recreate but it was such a fun tease. Also cap making fun of his past self for saying "i could do this all day" I SCREAM why do the Russo's get steve so well

Carol taking a direct punch in the face from Thanos without even flinching? We stan a goddess

ALSO SHORT HAIRED CAROL YESSSS I LIVED!!!!! YES!!!! (But also that movie could've used like way more Carol thats just mY OPINION)

Also AGAIN, I DON'T CARE THAT IT WAS FAN SERVICE, STEVE WEILDING MJOLNIR WAS E V E R Y T H I N G. They have TEASED US since that one middle avengers movie we don't talk about that he was worthy and!!! Our!! Son!! Is!! Fucking!!! Worthy. And the scene of thor making him swap w/ him "you get the little one" i screamed bitch

also I was living for how much Steve swore in this film lol literally fuck joss Whedon's characterization we don't know her!

Valkyrie on a Pegasus thank you THANK YOU i was living

That entire final action scene..... holy fucking shit y'all. It was just crazy enough without being too crazy. I loved the callback to the original long continuous shot

THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AND SANG WITH THAT A-FORCE SCENE. YES. ALL THE MARVEL LADIES LINING UP. THEY ARE HERE AND THEY ARE THE STRONGEST OF US ALL. A-FORCE. FUCKING A-FORCE. Thank you Russo's for my LIFE

Carol's little "hi peter parker :)" god i love them. I love peter. My fucking spider son. I missed him so much. I missed Tom Holland's sweet peach little face AH I CRIED WHEN HE SHOWED BACK UP

Also last kind of ~general~ thought i know i don't get time travel at all and it is an instant way to confuse me in any franchise but wouldn't steve doing what he did fuck literally everything up idk we'll get to steve in a bit

Highs

morgan

H.

fucking

stark

I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT FED WITH SUCH GOOD TONY CONTENT THIS FILM ONLY FOR THEM TO STOMP ON MY HEART LMAOOO

DAD TONY BEING AS LOVING AND DOTING AND SWEET AND TENDER W/ HIS DAUGHTER AS WE ALL HAVE HEADCANONED HIM TO BE FOR YEARS!!!

TONY GETTING HIS JUSTIFICATION IN BEING MAD not just mad but PISSED at Cap for how everything fell out. catharsis. felt good scoob.

speaking of good tony content of course i need to just take a moment to YELL ABOUT STONY thank you russos for the fan service thank you for having tony ogle and comment on steve rogers’ ass it almost makes up for all the pain and suffering

btw do y’all think the H. for Morgan’s middle name stands for Harley because I LIKE TO THINK SO

also am i lowkey annoyed that like half of viewers won’t recognize an adult ty simpkin at tony’s funeral at the end even tho i know i shouldn't be because ot everyone is a die hard BUT half the articles im looking up for reviews and shit of that scene literally all the results are “SO WHO IS THAT KID AT THE END OF ENDGAME” YOU FUCKING FOOLS IT’S TONY’S FIRST BORN SON HARLEY KEENER FROM IRON MAN 3. FUCKS. im getting off topic anyway i was just happy they brought him back because I am an iron man 3 enthusiast and his relationship with tony was SO important and this confirms that at the very least tony kept in contact with him over all these years!!! and he wasn’t just some insignificant blip

Not to be stony on main but steve being the first person to hold Tony again once he was back on earth :)))) wrow.

Also the first thing tony telling him being "I lost the kid" WOW BREAK MY HEART MORE HUH!! WHY NOT!!

The first thing Peter doing when he saw Tony again :'') just rambling about everything that happened and tony just so happy to see him alive and hugging him so tight I'M NOT FINE!! NOTHING WILL EVER BE FINE AGAIN!!!

I appreciated the closure with Howard like?? A lot?? I'm the last person to be a Howard stark apologist, but I think his character and his relationship w/ Tony and how Tony viewed him as a father and as a man was so well crafted throughout the series??? Idk I liked that scene it was good to my baby.

And now a pOSSIBLY CONTROVERSIAL~~ opinion but..... I loved Steve's ending. I really did. I thought he got a beautiful and fitting ending and I was so happy. It meant so much especially to hear his reasonging being that in a way, he did it for Tony. He was inspired by what Tony told him. He saw Tony get his happy ending and for so many films now Steve has been searching for that and he missed an entire life. Tony helped him realize that. It just made me!! So emo!! Like Bucky's face when he knew Steve wasn't gonna be coming back. Steve's last convo w/ Sam. It was just amazing. I can't believe I'm seeing hot takes from people calling Steve selfish or blaming the fact that the Russos have a boner for Steggy or whatever. Who cares!!! Steve got his happy ending and it was well deserved and a wonderful arc!! Lay off him bc you ship him w/ Bucky or tony more damn!!!! (Idk about the timeline y'all dont come for me i really have no idea i think the Russos just said fuck it for that one even when talking about not fucking up the timeline)

Lows

Natasha deserved better. She did. I understand why they took her character arc the way that they did, and honestly, this is the first time I've felt we've seen Natasha have even a modicum of actual character traits since like, Iron man 2 and Avengers 1. She found purpose in keeping the family together and trying to help the people left living, while never stopping or losing contact with anyone else in their endeavors to fix what Thanos broke. As tired as I am of seeing a female character die for ~man pain~ this felt like so much more than that. In the end Nat wanted to sacrifice herself for the greater good, and that's what she did. I'm still fucking upset though, even though they've butchered her character across almost all the films she's been in

Thor being turned into an entire fucking joke. That's it. I got nothin left for the writers at this point.

So..... let's talk about Tony's death, shall we

"You can rest now" broke me. It truly did. I've never loved any fictional character across any medium as much as I have loved Tony Stark. But Pepper's line at the beginning "you'll sleep, but will you rest?" Is so fucking telling. I think I immediately knew for sure in that moment. Because she's right. And that's the worst part.

Peter :)))) finally :)))) calling :))))) tony :)))) by :)) his :)))) first :)) name :))) as he was dying :)))) asking him not to go the same way he told tony he didn't want to go when he was getting dusted GOD. AND WE THOUGHT THAT SCENE IN INFINITY WAR WAS ROUGH. HAD N O T H I N G ON THIS.

No offense but where was Rhodey when Tony was dying lmao ok

That funeral scene.... seeing everyone there drawn together..... god. It was beautiful. It really was.

Of course I'm not happy. I'm extremely fucking upset. I knew tony wielding the gauntlet would be coming, but I thought they would find a way for him to make it out alive. As soon as they were showing that even the hulk couldn't handle it with the gamma radiation, I knew the nail was going to be in the coffin.

All that aside... what I can say, is that if they HAD to kill him off, I think it was a proper send off. We saw so many arcs of Tony's come to a close, and I knew it was just a matter of time. Also that being said, I really don't believe in death being necessary to end a character's arc. Yeah yeah blah blah we get the sad and tragic but TRUE message that at the end of the day death is inevitable and that tony had to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He and Strange both knew it, and as soon as Strange held up that finger I knew that was it for him.

It wouldn't be so hard if they hadn't given us everything they did with tony after the 5 year jump. He healed. He was HAPPY. But pepper was right, and as long as Tony was alive... he would never truly /rest/. And that's the only way I'm able to make peace with this death. Tony has always been a character who was just going going going, never going to stop even if it killed him, all to protect the ones he loved, and protect the whole world and make it a better place. He had a beautiful story that was told so well over these past eleven years, with admitted shortcomings here and there. He had the most cohesive trilogy films, the best character development and arcs, and an incredible portrayal. I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't make it any easier that they decided to go and show us that Tony was able to FINALLY settle down with Pepper and see him find the best version of himself as a husband to her and a father to his little baby girl. A baby girl that now has to grow up without her dad, and pepper has to go on without her husband, the love of her life. It's fucking tragic and honestly, we didn't need that imho lmao

The hardest parts is that like.... idk. I feel like the only reason they killed him is for shock factor, but somehow without the shock? A lot of us felt or were worried that this was coming. I think the russos and co. We're just totally set on the idea that like... tony HAD to die and that was the only way for this arc to come to a close not just WITHIN the universe, but meta, outside of the MCU as well. They did the same thing with Hugh jackman as Logan and that shit HURTED me y'all. Eleven years we had RDJ give us this amazing character and he is the SOLE reason the MCU is where it is today. So you know what, the Russo's and everyone can circle jerk about how much ~poetic justice~ there is in this ending for Tony, but at the end of the day... it just ain't it fam.

Realistically I know after wielding the infinity stones there is no way Tony, a human, could've survived, even with his armor on. I knew that. And as biased as I am towards seeing Tony living, if he had wielded the stones and NOT died? It would've felt cheap. So again, if they had to end his life, I appreciate the way they did it and thought it was the best send off they could've given him. I also would've appreciated some kind of alternate option where oh i dont know carol or someone strong enough could've handled the snap and tony could live the rest of his days with his wife and daughter and found family but..... ig that's just me huh.

:(((( Happy asking Morgan what she wanted and her saying "cheeseburgers" SHE'S JUST LIKE HER DADDY I AM SO!!! UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And last thought is that I fucking cried AGAIN because the biggest applause moment was during the credits when RDJ's name appeared. My theater gave a standing damn ovation. Also the very last sound after it faded to black... Tony hammering away, building the very first Iron Man suit.... that shit hurted.

If any of y'all read this and wanna yell about stuff w/ me I WELCOME YOU INTO MY DMS LMAO PLS MESSAGE ME I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO CRY WITH!!!

[klarkkent71]

TRAGEDY & VERSATILITY

September 8 2019

I still have more content about places to visit and other experiences but these will be my last set of poems until after vacation

TRAGEDY SERIES

 HELL(Dedicated to the victims of mass shootings)

I hate it for you and in the back of my mind I’m feeling bitter yet so numb

Thinking to myself what has this world become to where we cant control those with the guns.

I want to write to my congressman and let out rage but he won’t listen because the lobbyist pay him funds

One shooting after the next more parents crying over a loved one

And to those committing the acts, my only question is why

Hatred, mental illness, jealousy, to understand I can’t try but to express my anger and say we do need change is a fight where I won’t be shy

Just know that I’m tired of innocent angels gaining their wings from others may they rest in peace in that place pass the sky.

 PAIN

I look up to the sky and ask God why do the weather he gives add pain

Strong winds and natural disaster leads to another life that changed.

And what I’m discussing is beyond the times of Noah and the boat

But more on modern-day horrors such as seeing dead bodies of victims who just float

Or these fires that just burn through the western parts of the state.

I can only wish grace and mercy and pray for others and their fate

To lose everything in one instance I can fathom the weight

 CUPID TEARS

I dreamed at night that we were together and woke up and nothing was there

I put you on my mind and fell back asleep thinking I don’t have a care

In the midst of it all I played everything in the back of my mind

One memory after the next of when you used to be mine

But now I’m just an empty shell sitting sad and alone wishing you were here.

I felt myself crying at one point and letting it all out thinking to myself this must be Cupid tears

 BLACK HEROES

United we stand and divided we fall

An era of great leaders once chosen to answer the call

But with hope and courage comes a threat to their way of life

We preach to love your fellow man at times and do what’s right

Unless that man comes from a different creed and get singled out

You stand up and fight for your freedom that’s what it’s about

But to see the vision come true was something you kept in your head.

They say you were a threat and wanted to make a change by any means now you’re dead

And now the vision you fought for happened but the people divided

Trapped in the constraints of Willie Lynch with no guidance provided

We off the plantation now though and back in the hood

Thinking to ourselves life is good when in reality we’re trapped.

None trusting of our own so we stay strapped

We have colored skinned but we divided by color

You wear red or blue you now an enemy even though you’re my brother

Let's talk about the impact now that drugs had

Shit, Sad.

 QUESTION 2

Will the world ever be at peace

 TRAPPED(dedicated to those who afraid to be who they are)

Because we live in a traditional society you feel belittled for who you love

Bible goers tell you your actions will get you sent to hell when it says in the book of Mathew not to judge

Those with a closed mind will shun you and not try to understand how you feel

Just tease you for being different and want you to think you’re mentally ill

So pressure builds up and now you feel all alone

Questioning the way you were born to feel and think that everything about you is wrong

So you see death as an escape from it all

The thoughts grow stronger you thinking of multiple pills or blowing your brains on the wall.

I get sick of society and the pressures that others get to where they can’t be themselves

I pray that you find peace before it’s too late.

 INTERLUDE

Love hurts but I’m grateful and feeling something and that’s alive.  I'm feeling hopeful that I can be torn and put back together.  In some instance even stronger than before.  I honestly think that beautiful things can happen when others get completely torn down at times

 VERSATILITY SERIES

Untiled

I look into your eyes and just get lost

Your chin is on my chest and you’re looking at me like I’m everything in your world

When it comes to spending time with you no matter the distance I’ll pay the cost

Our hearts beat as one and you’re my dream girl

Though the love will always remain the time of being in love been came to end

No titles or constant communication, in reality, we’re not even friends

And now I just hold on to the memories.

I look down at my phone wishing it was you

Wishing one last time I can hug and kiss you

I’ll tell you deep down inside how much I truly love and miss you

But I don’t

I just stare at a blank screen and smile at the notification from you accidentally liking something

 A PAGE

I go hard for my last name so grinding to get after my dreams is nothing

I was motivated from the start my whole life I been grinding and hustling

Early on I was placed in special classes until it was discovered that I couldn’t hear.

So many years achievements later and I'm more than what they thought and I’m still standing right here.

The crazy part about it is that I haven’t fully stepped into my potential and what I can really be

The vision is still clear and I’m still chasing one more degree

I’ve done others wrong in the past and apologized and let go

Thanking God for the changes and maturity along with the growth.

I ‘m proud of who I become

Once wanted to fit in until I learned to march to my own drum

I lived seasons where people came in and out my life to where I grew numb

I had those close to me steal funds when I would‘ve fed them a meal and ate the crumbs

But here I am remaining humble

BLUE WATER

I’m staring out thinking what’s beyond my vision

Blue water, calm waves, to see past it is my mission

Thinking just how freely and smooth what you have just flow

Easily in just many directions, you can just go

I honestly admire the vibe

Being in your presence I feel the high

 MY VIEW

I don’t care what your religious text says deep down this is how I feel

You claim your actions are saving souls from being killed

But the choice to me is with the beholder and not with the traditions they keep in Saudi

I’m stating this right now that a woman should have control of her body

It’s crazy we’re all birthed and come from a womb

 VOTED FOR THE DEVIL

On the night I found out the devil won I wasn't surprised at the outcome or what the world has become.

I just know that a nation which was built of sins of others found their chosen one

The fact we constantly divide makes the beast strong

I keep telling myself that it’s just temporary but the days keep getting longer

And to those with brown skin instead of providing help we build walls.

Lies after lies I’m not even shocked or appalled

Really I’m entertained by those so simple to believe the lies

Draft dodging, fornicating, grab her by the pussy, Russian meddling, and spies.

I’m gone wait to really unleash in the future

Frames

I found pictures and it immediately made my mind jump in the past

Still frames of happiness of when I thought everything we had would last

I saw a birthday cake with candles with you wearing a white coat standing on a chair

Memories ill keep forever in my heart they will always be rare

I see beaches, balls, and baby showers along with pictures at my parents after church

I thought these were memories ill never get back but found on my laptop during a random search

I found a random jump drive and placed every picture on it so they will be in one spot

Im forever grateful that I have a passion for photography because they bring back memories we all forgot

Even flashing back from the good to the bad the mood will be remembered by the faces and emotions in the frame and over 80% it’s smiles

This is the closing of one chapter of poetry and the introduction of the next my next set of poems that will be pulled directly from my heart will called simply “NATALIE”

Whenever I post “NATALIE” it’ll cover many poems but i wanted some of the intro posted

Intro to NATALIE

All black, I feel it’s the color that represented me for years

Now im stepping out on faith thinking to myself I cant believe I showed up and right here

I felt like rock bottom to be honest I’m out the house and stepping out from fear

Sitting here faking like I know the culture but let’s be real what black person drink beer 🤔

[dongsooks]

Summer Nights; part 1

A/N: This started out as a Changkyun imagine for that one anon who requested it like a thousand years ago, and we never really got closure on what kind you would’ve liked it to be so I figured I was given free hands. But then I got carried away and it streched to be way longer than I visioned it to be, so why not cut it into a series. I hope it turns out alright.

Admin: Fay

Pairing: Changkyun x female!reader

Genre: fluff, (angst?)

Words: 1 004

Im Changkyun? Of course you knew him, he was that weirdo in your neighborhood in Boston. And that weirdo also happened to be your best friend.

Being best friends with Changkyun was fun, of course, but also very chill. There was never drama or arguments you couldn’t talk through. Most of the time you just hung out at each others places, watching your favorite series and stuffing yourselves with various snacks.

That was what you were doing again one weekend at your place. When your parents had surprised you, saying they had rented a cottage and were going to leave for a weekend holiday (that you definitely didn’t want to be dragged along to), you made up an excuse, saying you had a big exam coming up and that you wanted to properly prepare for it. The school year was close to ending too. Your parents trusted you and knew you wouldn’t throw a secret party, so they let you stay at home on the condition that you would call at least once a day and remember to feed the family pet.

So there you were, lounging on the couch in front of the TV, with one empty and one half empty pizza box, finishing one more episode of Game of Thrones. Changkyun stretched his arms, and folded them behind his head.

“You know, we should spend more time outside,” he pointed out when you were waiting for the next episode to start automatically.

You sighed. “I know. To be honest, I’m getting a bit tired of pizza,” you chuckled, patting your stomach.

“Well let’s go then.”

You looked at Changkyun with a raised eyebrow. “Now? You do realize it’s -” you checked the time from your phone “- almost 1 am?”

Changkyun didn’t seem to be questioning it at all. “Yeah, I’ll ask the others to come too.” He shrugged and waited for you to decide. You thought about it for a while. Then, a sly smile slowly appeared on your face.

You had never really snuck out before. You were a good kid. And, you tried to convince yourself, you weren’t really sneaking out, there wasn’t anyone strictly forbidding you from going out with your friends. In the middle of the night.

The sky was clear, no clouds covering the moon and although there was a slight gush of wind every now and then, it was warm and your bomber jacket blocked it from getting to your bones. This was actually quite fun, even though you were just roaming the streets. It was just enough adrenaline for you. Your group of friends wasn’t unusually big, it was just you, Changkyun, two girls called Gemma and Ellie and Changkyun’s friend Ben he made in the science club he used to be in. You laughed at the stupid jokes the boys made, and giggled with the girls about the new boys they had crushes on. You liked hearing how they gushed about their crushes, going on and on about their hair and their scent and-

“What about you, Y/N? Don’t you have someone you like?”

Oh boy, there we go. The question you had dreaded all thoughout high school. No, it wasn’t because you had a crush on someone. It was because everyone, and you mean everyone, were convinced you had a huge crush, and wouldn’t believe you no matter how many times you denied it.

You opened your mouth to tell them once again, but before you could say anything they already went on.

“Changkyun has pretty nice hair, right? I mean, he does have those scars on his cheeks but other than that, his skin isn’t that oily or-”

“Will you just stop?” you cried, stopping in your tracks as you were getting fed up with their talk. You didn’t mind them bothering you about your so called obvious crush on Changkyun, but when they started to point out flaws in him, it made your blood boil. “Why do you feel the need to talk shit about him behind his back? He’s your friend too! Besides, you’re not perfect yourselves, in fact, I think Changkyun is more handsome than both of your crushes put together!” you hissed at them, keeping the volume low enough for them to hear but not so loud that the boys walking a small distance in front of you would hear.

Your friends stared at you in shock for a little, until Gemma apologized with a hint of fear in her voice. “I’m sorry Y/N, we went a bit too far.”

You sighed, now not only upset with them, but also with yourself for losing your cool when you were supposed to be having fun together.

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. Just, promise you won’t do that again, okay? He’s your friend too, after all.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry too. We promise.” Ellie lowered her head, but soon looked up with a mischievous look in her eyes. “But Gemma, did you hear her say how handsome Changkyun is? I knew you liked him more than as a friend!”

You rolled your eyes at Ellie, and looked at the boys’ direction. You noticed they had stopped walking, as they must’ve realized you weren’t following them anymore. The three of you jogged over to catch up with them.

“Is there a problem?” Ben scanned you with his eyes, in case there was a sudden drama going on that he should be careful about.

“No! Absolutely not!” Ellie laughed, pretending to be amused by the mere suggestion that there would ever be any problems that involved her.

“We were just worried about Y/N, she can’t be in her right mind to agree to hang out late at night like this.” Gemma joked, nudging you arm with her elbow. It made the boys smile.

“Good, well I hope Y/N is ready to handle some more craziness.” Changkyun said. “Ben had an amazing idea.”

You weren’t all that sure Ben’s idea was going to be that great.

[xoxoemynn]

can i complain? im gonna complain. my mental health has been horrible lately, and as if i'm not struggling enough, my downstairs neighbor has decided to hate me. literally. she's like 60 years old, and calls in the middle of the night claiming that i'm throwing things into the floor and making noise, even though i'm literally doing nothing, and other neighbors think she's crazy too. also she smokes so that the tobacco scent travels up through my balcony door and when i asked her to stop (cont)

she claims she will continue to bother me with the smoke until "i have learned my lesson" (not making noise? i'm not making noise, she is literally waking me up complaining about how i just made a noise?? i'm asleep??? lol) and she's called authorities bc my dogs apparently never get to go outside?? they are outside four times a day on long walks but ok??? lol. and now she found out i have snakes so ofc she called the authorities bc "they're venomous, they're going to escape and crawl up my toilet!!" lmfao. i'm so tired. my snakes help me with my anxiety and i have locks on their enclosures and i walk my dogs and i am very careful not to make noise i literally want to die i'm dealing with enough shit. sorry i needed to go on an anon rant im sry love u em

omg oh no bb I’m so sorry this sounds awful, your neighbor sounds like a petty, spiteful beast and I know it sucks that there’s just no escape. Shitty neighbors are the worstttttt, and I’m sure hearing from the authorities isn’t helping your anxiety at all. :( Okay so idk if any of this will actually be applicable/helpful but just some things that came to mind when reading your messages:

Okay first just BREATHEEEEE. You did literally nothing wrong, you’re just living your life and being a responsible pet owner and you don’t deserve to be treated this way. I would just try to avoid her as much as possible, since I kind of doubt she’s going to change. But I would also just take some steps to protect yourself so she can’t make things any worse for you.

If you have a landlord who’s remotely useful, reach out to them about this neighbor’s behavior. If she’s violating any parts of her lease, that’s their job to deal with. Plus, it sounds like her behavior may even now be considered harassment at this point? 

Even if the landlord thing is a moot point, I would keep a paper trail and document everythingggggg. This may just be because I’ve been spending a lot of time reading stories at JustNoMIL, but once people reveal themselves to be this horrible, “little” things can escalate quickly...and honestly, if she’s already contact the authorities for completely unsubstantiated reasons, I’d say she’s already pretty far up there. Any time she calls, yells, or snaps at you, does anything to make you feel REMOTELY uncomfortable, write it down. PAPER TRAILS ARE EVERYTHING SERIOUSLY PROTECT YOURSELF. Pro-tip: get one of those black and white marble composition books , because it’s then really obvious if a page just “mysteriously” goes missing for whatever reason. I’m sorry if I sound paranoid and I don’t mean to alarm you, but I’m just a HUGE proponent of always having everything in writing because it protects YOU, so always better to be safe than sorry.

Okay, so it sounds like “the authorities” = animal control or the like, yes? And not the police? Because if it’s the police, I have a feeling they’re going to get fed up REAL fast with some asshole filing false complaints...especially since, ya know, that’s a crime. If it IS the police, and if you feel safe doing so, it may be worth calling their non-emergency line and say you have a neighbor harassing you and filing false complaints, detailing exactly what’s been happening. Honestly it’s doubtful they’ll do anything but it may serve as a pre-emptive action step so if she DOES go to them, they have a record of it. If it’s some sort of animal control, it may be worth doing something similar and perhaps inviting them to your home to do a wellness check? So that way if she calls again they can go “lady please fuck off you are wasting everyone’s time and oxygen.”

Okay but she’s CALLING you in the middle of the night, what the hell??? Two options here: 1) BLOCK HER ASS or 2) Set it up in your phone so calls from her are always set to silent/do not disturb mode -- that way she won’t wake you up but you’ll also have record of all the times she called you for your paper trail.

It’s occurred to me that I sound very Dramatic in all this so I hope nothing I say in here is frightening to you!!!! Chances are she’s just an obnoxious twatbox who’s miserable and bored and trying to make life difficult for everyone around her, but I just want to make sure you are SAFE bc she worries me. :( 

Okay so now that I’ve gotten all the safety precautions out of the way LOL just please take care of yourself!! If your mental health is already struggling, having to deal with this indomitable force of ... idk evil sounds dramatic but I’m gonna run with it anyway, can REALLY fuck you up. (Seriously, I’m shuddering imagining it, all the hugs to you.) So make sure you really prioritize things that do help with your anxiety. If that means more snake time, going on long walks, baking, writing, taking bubble baths, WHATEVER, do that and be entirely unapologetic about it. 

Maybe find some camaraderie with your neighbors? Misery loves company and all that, it may make you feel a little better to just be able to vent to someone who gets it. Plus it’s always good to have some allies on your side. (Also, honestly, I LOVE reading JustNoMIL, even though I don’t have a mother-in-law, lol, but they do give a lot of really good advice and inspiration on how to stand up to these kinds of people who are out on some mean-spirited, vengeful spite fest.)

Seriously go treat yourself to some ice cream or something because you deserve it. 

I’m so sorry, lovely, this sounds really terrible and it sucks that you feel uncomfortable in your own home. :( Please just take care of yourself and stay safe. Hopefully she’ll calm down or move or something and you won’t have to deal with her for much longer. Pop into my inbox anytime you need me. I hope you get a good rest tonight!!!! Sending you all the hugs and good vibes in the universe.

[onlyjihoons]

demon!jihoon

a/n; very much inspired by jihoon's demonic lenses he wore here?? and this prompt!i would also like to thank @hwinkinghwi for the demonic(?) moodboard hehe,,,happy early halloween!

jihoon is one of the most cunning demons

he would actually use his ungodly looks to his advantage to get his way

almost everything his goddamn face will make people give in/compromise

sometimes he uses his evil to help kids out

like, he sees a kid being bullied at a playground or something, he would give retribution by shoving sand down the bully's shirt??

(i have no idea how demons work so please spare me)

but other than that jihoon is pretty cynical

when he disguises himself as a mortal, he looks normal, until you look at his eyes,,,

theyre a light blue

they arent even contacts, like theyre just his eye colour

people just believe his lie that those are prescription contacts LOL

jihoon is being notorious for the senior who uses his looks to get through anything and everything

but not his grades lmao

so he's two years older than the kids taking their college entrance exam

basically he just wasted 2 years of his life in school

but he just wants to live off fellow demon!seongwoo,, so he just, doesnt study and goes to school

but seongwoo found out about it,, and made sure jihoon spends his legit last year in high school or jihoon would be ugly in his next life LOL

you're a senior in high school, trying to make the best out of your dying grades

you do know jihoon, but avoid communication as you're an angel

like legit,, angel

you were an angel thanks to your mother, who was involved in the heaven

and she wanted you to live a sin-free life as much as possible

ok now back to avoiding jihoon

why avoid communication?

for a simple reason;

you had a crush on him

and the rule of thumb your mother bestowed upon you was

"you can date anyone but demons"

and you were well aware jihoon was a demon, as your halo(which was invisible to the eyes of mortals) were blinking whenever jihoon would be near you

and you just didnt like the idea of dating a handsome asshole

fun fact: jihoon used to be an angel until he was involved in the 101, which made him evil

you knew jihoon relatively well due to the fact he used to be an angel

he was your childhood friend

always protecting you and looking out for you

your crush on him developed even before he became a demon, and didnt falter even when he wasnt a angel

but the both of you grew distant as your mother would warn you not to play with fire

you were taking a media studies elective as a subject and there was a coursework you had to do

which involved acting w a partner of the opposite gender

and to your luck, jihoon was the only student in the class who took media studies

not knowing anything between the both of you, your teacher assigned the both of you as partners LOL

to make things worse, the story was

romeo and juliet

how ironic lmaoooo

meaning, you had to kiss jihoon

or rather, jihoon had to kiss you

because your teacher chose the last scene, which had the least lines, for the both of you to "ensure your distinctions"

and the both of you just had to bite the bullet and take it because you'd want to graduate from school quickly and attempt to wash the sins of kissing jihoon away by doing more good things in college

while jihoon just wanted to get this thing done and over with

you told your mom about it, she was okay with it, but she still warned you not to fall for jihoon

though, your dad is a demonxangel

its a given that you and jihoon had to stay after school to run through the script

and every time you and jihoon renact the last scene, your breath hitches in your throat and you hiccup

or on days where you just burst out laughing and accidentally spit on jihoon

he actually wasnt that mad about it because 1. he knew how hard it was to keep one's composure in a kiss scene WITH THEIR CRUSH

2. he just thought you were cute

despite jihoon not kissing you for practices

which you were thankful for or else you cant sleep at night

until,,, the day of the assesment

everything went fairly smoothly, and the dreaded kiss of life was very soon approaching you

you thought jihoon wouldnt kiss you like he did in practices

bitch you thought

he kissed you on the lips and you were trying your best not to shoot your eyes open in shock

and of course,, the kiss of life received a standing ovation from the teachers who were really impressed

because most students dont actually kiss lmao

so you had to drag jihoon aside after yhe assesment and he had that stupid smile on his face

"cant you see i like you???"

you were stunned and also happy

but you had to keep your promis to your mom

"im sorry jihoon, i cant be your girlfriend"

boy he was shocked because he was never rejected

"why?"

"because," you bit your lip, contemplating wheter to tell jihoon

"because??"

"angels and demons cant be together," was all you said before leaving jihoon hanging

you and jihoon never talked until,,, halloween

which, you decided to go as yourself to your friend's halloween party at universal studios

you wore a plain white dress,, and wore a halo headband

pretty basic and simple but you really didnt care and just tried to dress nicely

apparently her parents rented the whole theme park for a private party lol

your friend was asking why you didnt bring jihoon along as your "plus one"

and you just shrugged,

"shit happened and we arent really talking anymore"

she got the hint immediately and stopped mentioning jihoon

meanwhile, jihoon was also dressed as himself

his hair was dyed a lighter blonde and wore a v neck black button up w ripped jeans,,,,,, and wore a choker on his neck too

basically all-black and looking good as heck

when he arrived every girl turned their heads and were shookt

like he barely needed to do anything to look THAT good

"a demon" was what he replied,, but he was laughing inside as people dont know his real identity

he was just enjoying the atmosphere of halloween where people dressed up and didnt care if their make up was shit,, its halloween anyway

he was just chilling and walking around w fellow demon!baejin when he saw someone carrying a girl in a white dress,,,

and that girl in a white dress seemed too familiar...

that when it clicked and he had to abandon baejin to save you

when he stopped the figure holding you, he ripped off its mask and revealed someone he wouldnt expect

lai guanlin

"guanlin, what are you doing?"

"i..i can explain--"

"explain what? drugging y/n and bringing her somewhere to hurt her?!" 

at this point jihoon was really really angry, his irises turned red

"who made you do this?”

“i can’t tell you--”

“im severing all ties with you if you dont tell me.”

“okay okay! seongwoo-hyung made me do it,, he just wanted to mess with you. nothing poisonous was fed to y/n! i swear!”

jihoon could only sigh and roll his eyes, as he motioned guanlin to come closer to him

and when he did, he twisted guanlin’s ear, making the younger groan in pain,,, while still holding onto you LOL

“help seongwoo-hyung again and not only your ears would be red,” jihoon snapped, as guanlin helped to load you on jihoon’s back

jihoon was contemplating where to bring you to,,, in this state where you were fast asleep

he decided to bring you back to your home

of course, with you on his back was pretty crazy

people were staring at him, thinking that he got a girl drunk lmao

but some people were noticing how cute he was and he’d just blush and try to hide his face??

meanwhile you were still sleeping, and jihoon made your head lean on his shoulder

and it was quite a scene bc a literal angel leaning on a literal demon’s shoulders??? p sadistic but cute at the same time

he knew the exact route to your house because it was almost like muscle memory,, he always came over to your house during the weekends when the both of you were childhood friends

when jihoon knocked on the door he was pretty nervous to how your mom would react

“y/n youre--jihoon?”

“sorry you have to see this, but y/n got drugged by someone... i saw her and i had to save her”

“ah, i see...” your mom was weirdly happy that no one but jihoon saved you??

“her room is the last bedroom to the right...” your mom pointed, “i think you should stay over, it’s quite late.”

“but i don’t have any clothes...” jihoon smiled nervously 

tbh how is he not tired after holding you for so long;)

“its fine! daniel has some clothes he cant wear anymore, you can use those.”

casually slips in olderbrother!daniel

jihoon was reminded of the times where your mom would take care of him p well, he was so touched that her heart didnt change over the years despite being a demon himself

“thank you mrs y/l/n, please rest early too!”

thats when your mom muttered something about him calling her mom

“excuse me?”

“yeah i will sleep soon, when daniel comes home.”

as jihoon entered your room, it was clean, and like a typical teenage girl’s room, with fairy lights and wall decorated with polariod pictures

after he settled you on your bed, he looked around your room and spotted a picture of the both of you amidst all the polariods

it was the both of you during your freshman year,, he took you to smoothie king because you were having a bad day

he smiled, but then sighed at the thought that your mother didnt allow you to date demons

but she was liking him so much she wanted yall to get married right there

all he could do was kiss your forehead and ruffle your hair

when he was about to leave he felt something tugging on his arm

“don’t go...” 

you were sleeptalking lmao

jihoon hence slept at the side on your bed, while holding your hand

the next morning, you woke up to a weight on your hand, and you saw a blonde head 

you were surprised so you screamed

and you woke jihoon in the process

“w-what”

“what are you doing here?”

“well...” jihoon scratched his head sheepishly 

“...”

“what-- y/n! i know im a demon but no, i would never do that”

“then?! what are you doing here, in my room, in your...outfit”

“because you told me to stay??” jihoon raised his eyebrows

shit he heard that, you cursed internally

“but thank you for saving me.” you blushed

“that’s it?” jihoon smirked, “no thank you kiss?”

“what?why?”

“because you are mine.”

shit i cringed so hard but smth jihoon would say tbh

“but my mom--”

he then interrupted your words with a kiss, which worked

“i can bet you my life saving that she is peeping at us right now,” jihoon whispered

and yes she was, peeking at the both of you and you could see her punching the air in victory

dating demon!jihoon is just like dating a huge fluffball

and takes revenges on your behalf if anyone dares to hurt/offend you

but sometimes hes hella r u d e 

like randomly flipping his hair and winking

and whenever he trips,,

“i think i fell for you”

like p l e a s e  s t o p

still has the innocence in him despite being a demon

like lighting up in front of candy

and buying you stuff in a non-evil way

your mother openly supports your relationship with jihoon

like 

“yes yall my son in law is jihoon,, isnt he handsome??”

and you had to shut her up everytime she starts talking about jihoon

sometimes you wonder if she forgot that youre her child and not jihoon

overall, a relationship most wouldn’t expect but still ship together

[larchraven]

today, i am going to allow myself to experience emotions for as long as it takes me to write this negativity out of my system, and then i will go back to bottling shit the fuck up.

one of those queer(tm) experiences, i feel, is not having beginnings and ends to relationships. there’s this strange grey area, dark and electric as an impending thunderstorm, where emotion and action have built and crossed into a realm that cant be quantified as friends but that for fear or uncertainty or repression or plain old lack of communication has not yet been called dating. called a Relationship.

were we even dating? i ask myself this sometimes. there is a disconnect between the way i feel and what i think dating is or stands for. we had a conversation once about what to call me and the relationship. with your family it was “Boyfriend”, and we were Dating, because that was the only real approximation we could come across to communicate to them. i never met them and im not sure if thats a good or a bad thing. the one time our shared mutual friend, another story all of his own, referred to it in these terms my reaction was visceral. i felt revolted, by the concept of Dating, and yet there had been candid (if emotional) talks about being married. living together after i moved across an ocean. and you know what, i think that maybe if i wasnt such damaged goods, we could have actually made that work and been happy. i dont know, maybe im taking too much responsibility here, im still too caught up in the love i had that ive blinded myself to needs and troubles within the nebulous nature of what lay between us.

i have so many questions and there will never be answers. im a hard person to love. ive always known this. a difficult and troubled child who it was questionable deserved to be fed grew into an adult with sharp edges that seem to lacerate anyone who gets close. im still not sure what caused the shift. theres a playlist collecting dust in spotify that seems colored by this rosy tenderness, that i feared was for me and it turns out was. i dont understand that, so theres more understanding to why someone would maintain a loving friendship for several months after a hard conversation where i talked about the unavoidable reality that i cannot do Dating and couldnt fulfill those plans that i really wanted to, only to vanish without a word, without a trace. that makes sense in a way.

i have trouble remembering that this friendship was real. i seem to be the only unforgivable one, the only one for whom there isn’t reconciliation, since i know other friendships with people were mended. which doesn’t make me angry, just further from feeling like im a real person. i would cry about it, feel resentful about it, or even reach out again and ask what the fuck even happened, but i really dont think any good would come of it.

and this whole thing, me writing all this nonsense out and all i can think is like, this is why people leave!! you’re fucking crazy, and toxic, and the kind of person that people see their friends and aquaintances interacting with and slip into dms to warn them about.

maybe im a casualty of being a nice fantasy that the reality of just isn’t that good. i dunno. i play out my own fantasies where i get to say goodbye. i get an explanation or a concrete ending. i think im even less lovable than i was, and that any of the nice parts of me have been sanded off, leaving only the nasty parts. so i really dont think i can mend fences. im just too fucking tired.

two years of silence. because im not even worth an email that just says “i dont want to be friends anymore”

[baekhyuq]

"Lock n loaded" (m) | Yoongi 1k

Yoongi x You

Gun play!

Inspired by XXXTentacion. Genre: Smut-Angst

“No I don’t love you, no I don’t care.“

☆*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･’ ☆*‘･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*☆*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡☆

☆*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･’ ☆*‘･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*☆*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡☆

The reflection of his face still remained in my mind, looking down at a piece of paper, a Polaroid reminded me of our brighter times. We laughed, we cried, we shared so many memories. But now we don’t talk anymore.

I don’t want to feel blue anymore

We exist in the same house, within each other’s presences. Nobody talks anymore, I’ve been waiting for the day he’ll touch me again. He’s always staring hard like a rock, and he’s cold like stone.

His facial expressions nothing more than tired. I want to much from him, I’m greedy. I want a good self esteem, love, dreams.

He gave me all I ever could ask for, and yet I’m still blue and selfish. Always sat in a high chair getting spoon fed everything I wanted like a brat. I know.

His eyes lowered to the book he was reading, nothing new. He’d sit and ignore me until I spoke up.

I stood from my spot on the ground and made my way to him, my heart in my hand. His eyes left from the paper to me as I stood in front of him.

“Let’s break up.”

It was the middle of December the coldest month of the year. Almost as cold as his heart. Min Yoongi the cold harsh winter weather.

“Okay, lets.”

In the middle of December is when I realized I’d said goodbye to early. The uh-oh moment came the second I walked out that house. The moment I walked out his heart.

In the middle of December the color blue was common. So was the feeling, very common. With his baggage in my hand, I threw it down the stairs. How easily he said we should break up infuriated me.

“Get out!” I screamed at him from the top of the stairs, tears streaming down my face. “Why are you doing this Y/n.” His question only pissed me off more.

“Why’d you agree that we should break up? Am I not enough for you? Are you seeing someone else?” I wouldn’t stop till I got answers. I threw more of his belongings down the steps. He’d stood calmly down at the bottom of the steps, his hand on the railing.

He took a step at a time to reach me, I threw more shit down the stairs to stop him from coming any closer because I knew he’d charm me into coming back. “Don’t come near me.” I sniffed, the tears crawling down my cheeks.

His eye stayed the same his cold stare directed on me, still waking closer until he’d reach me. “If breaking up is what you think it’s best for you, then I’m not going to get in your way. I want what’s best for you.” His smooth deep voice sounded so annoying. The exact words I didn’t want to hear.

“That’s not whats best for me! What’s best for me is you! You’re the only thing that used to make me happy, now you’re so cold to me. We don’t even speak to each other. We haven’t had sex in months. I’ve missed you so much but your so close so I can’t say that I missed you. You have no idea how many times I’ve contemplated leaving you. But I can’t because I love you so much. I just don’t get the mutual feeling from you anymore. I just want you and your attention! I’m so needy It feels like I’m going to explode!” I cried out hitting his chest.

“Baby..” he grabbed my chin and lifted my head. “You’re too overwhelmed by me. I get it, it’s time for you to find someone who will suit you better than I will.” His words drew a tear from my red eyes. “I-that’s not what-” he cut me off with a kiss, an apology as if he’s made up his mind on leaving me. I pushed his shoulder but he didn’t budge.

I cried into the kiss, not wanting to let him go. “Please dont leave me Yoongi.” I pleaded against his lips as he picked me up and carried me to our room that would soon be only mine within the amount of a day. “Please dont go.” I cried as he placed me on the bed, taking of an article of clothing one at a time till we were both naked.

“Yoongi, please.” His hand held my cheek and let it slide down to my throat, over my breasts onto my waist and to my hips. Savoring his touch like it was the last, and it was.

He leaned down to kiss all over my face, down my neck and onto my chest. Hickies left along with bruises, he pushed my hips down into the mattresss more. “I’ll miss you deeply, the feel of your skin, your sweet tastes.” He sighed nipping at my side as he lowered his mouth to my thighs.

“Yoongi…” my voice a whisper. He kissed my thighs getting closer to my heat, he lifted both my thighs over his shoulders and glanced at me. The sight I hadn’t seen in months, his beautiful face between my thighs, needy eyes and ruffled hair. I would truly miss this.

I nodded, laying my head back tears falling from my eyes. I had to let him go, for my sanity.

He dove in, lips attacking my clit and tongue swirling. The sigh that passed my lips could’ve been mistaken as a pleasurable one but it was a sigh of regret. He hasn’t even left yet and I miss him so much. He groped my ass picking me up higher off the bed to reach his mouth more, the angle making me shut my eyes.

“Open your eyes.”

I kept them close, not wanting to remind myself of him. He stopped assaulting my clit and sat up, positioning himself at my entrance before pushing in. And out. And In. And out.

His pace quickening, flipping me on my stomach, fucking me from behind. Whimpers escaping my throat, “Yoongi please don’t.”

I knew that if he came he’d leave. He’d leave and not turn back.

He angled my head to kiss me, bitting my bottom lip as an apology. His hand on my hip pushing me further into the bed. My ribs started to ache from the position.

He whispered a small sentence along the lines of “Im sorry.” His words meaning more than anything to me. He was leaving now. I twisted around to grab him by his waist and pull him into me, “Don’t leave me. I can’t bare this by myself, I won’t know how to survive without you.”

“I’ll make a bet with you.” He spoke, his eyes flickering up to mine. “If I cum first, I’ll stay, but if you come first I have to leave.” I nodded my head and I kid you not, I flipped him into his back and put his hands above his head.

“Since this is a bet I’m going to take this seriously.” I whispered in his ear, I felt him shiver slightly. “I hope you do considering I’m on the line.” He whispered back. I frowned for a second but soon replaced it with a smirk. I knew how to get him off fast. “You have 5 minutes.” He reminded me.

I sat on his length my back to him as I rode him, I knew he always loved reverse cow girl-he’d love to see any sight of a pair of thighs and an ass. I remembered the first time we had sex, it was anything but innocent. I wasn’t skilled or experienced he was my first everything. But he was very experienced and i wasn’t his first.

Goosebumps gathered on my skin as i turned around to see his eyes closed with his lips parted, a low groan sounded, erupting from his chest. His hands squeezed at my hips, thrusting up into me as i rode him.

I turned around to face him and took his hands and placed them on my breasts, guiding him in kneading them as i let out a silent moan. If this might be the last time i see him, i want to make it count. Taking his hands once more i pinned them down and started grinding on him harder but slowly. It felt like my eyes rolled to the back of my head as I felt the overwhelming pleasure. But as i neared my climax it didn’t come to me.

Yoongi held onto my hips preventing me from moving. "You’re times up.” he spoke. I looked down at him his eyes were already trained on me. He smirked as his chest was rising up and down, he looked down at where we were connected, i followed his eyes. His cum was leaking out of me, i didn’t even realize he had came, he was so quiet about it.

My eyes shot up to his, wide with shock. “Are you going to stay…with me?” I hesitated. I could’ve lost him, forever.

Yoongi flipped me into my back, surprising me. “I couldn’t be able to leave you if I tried…” He leaned down, kissing my chest working his way up to my face. “I love you so much you make me crazy.” He nuzzled his face into the side of my neck. “Really?”

“Yes,” Suddenly a something hard and cold was pressed to the side of my head. “And you’ll never leave me right?” He asked, my eyes grew in size.

He had a fucking gun.

“Right, Y/N?” When i didn’t answer i heard a clicking sound from the gun, before the gun was moved to my lips. He parted my lips with the gun, my tongue pressed against the gun, he grabbed my chin holding me still as he pushed the gun farther into my mouth before pulling it out. “Suck it like how you suck me off.” He flashed a grin that showed his teeth while he trailed the gun from my chest over my breast to touch my sensitive nipples.

He put the gun back in my mouth after he positioned himself back inside of me, filling me up completely. My heart was racing from the feeling of him and the thrill of him being able to take my life at anytime.

“I can’t just let you not come tonight now can I?” Yoongi took the gun from my mouth and placed it on my stomach, wrapping my legs around him for a better angle inside of me. “Ah…fuck” The first verbal moan I let out. Yoongi looked so breathtakingly hot hovering over me with sweat dripping down his body. His thrust were sharp and magical, they sent me over the edge and I climaxed. Without fail Yoongi made me moan out his name.

I looked at the gun resting on my stomach then to Yoongi. “Please take my life.” I whispered, my chest falling and rising. “I can’t Y/N, i’m not done with you. I have so much planned for our future.” His psychopathic smile aimed toward me. Yoongis eyes were blown out i’ve never seen him like this, the fact that he had a gun and could take my life kind of scared me.

“But i want to die,” I grabbed his hand placing it over the gun, he gripped it, i brought it to my mouth and took it in. Yoongi stared with slightly wide eyes, his lips parted as i heard a click sound, before he pulled the trigger. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the blow that never happened.

“Isn’t it thrilling?” Yoongi asked.

“Isn’t it thrilling knowing I could end your life at any given moment?” He smiled down at you taking the gun from your mouth to push it under your chin to make you face him.

“There were no bullets.”

[ariesmon]

bts as swimmers

idk if i’ll make this a series but shinee and bts were the two i was thinking abt so here we r

Jin

stroke : butterfly and back (have u seen this boys back good lord ppl were begging him to join the team)

events : 100 fly and 100 back

has okay stamina but works best in short bursts of power (which is also why he leads any relays he’s in)

ultimate Team Mom we all knew this was coming

hosts and organizes pasta parties, team bonding and fundraisers u name it he’s hosting it

also in charge of any emergency care (icing shoulders, stretches, massaging cramps etc)

fiercely defensive of his team and refuses to let ANY drama start “what happens outside the pool stays outside the pool”

always goes to morning practice but hates it

tells his lane buddies bad jokes 24/7 and they have become immune to them

takes carb loading to the extreme

Yoongi

stroke : diver and breast

event : diving and 100 breast and medley relay

hes really lazy during practice but during meets he gives 110% and scares the shit out of the other swimmers and divers bc hes here executing perfect half pikes without breakin a SWEAT

takes 20 min bathroom breaks to escape practice and eat a snack

but also stays up all night watching olympic diving and taking notes on how to improve his form

is always tired and smells like chlorine and his hair is dead

jimin had to buy him that fancy shampoo that prevents blond hair from turning green bc otherwise he could not bother to buy it

wears exclusively the team sweats not rly bc he has school pride but they’re cozy

never shows up to morning practice

likes to bully the freshman to show affection (and he hates doing lane lines)

Hoseok

stroke : free and I.M. (sprint)

event : 200 IM, 100 free, 200 free

amazing stamina and one of the star swimmers

takes ALL of the freshman under his wing 

the Underwater God (can hold his breath for insane amounts of time like jimin and kook)

amazing form esp with dives like the refs are just in awe

somehow manages to be ruthless and an angel at the same time

always so happy at every practice even the god awful 5 am dryland ones

surprises the team + coach with cookies on the last day of practice

loves hard sets

basically the team’s good luck charm and guardian angel

Namjoon

stroke : back and free (have u seen how tall this boy is)

event : 200 free, 400 free, anything involving back, does well with distance and sprint but only with these two strokes

does well with back and free but once damn near killed a freshman bc he kicked them in the head while doing breast so now he is not allowed to choose breast of fly for choice when the pool is crowded

team dad 

wears his parka outside of swimming sometimes bc its on trend rn

actually incredibly hard worker and stays after practices to talk to the coach abt how to improve his form and cut time and takes everything to heart

in charge of the team’s finances and also the suits for the next year

teaches freshman how to set up for meets (the stop boards, lane lines, flag etc)

also teaches rly scared newbies how to dive off the blocks and not belly flop bc he knows how scary it is

the biggest team supporter he loves his team so much and constantly gives the little pick me ups esp after a bad race

seems to survive off protein bars?? how

also always injures himself with lane lines and once broke his nose with a kickboard

Jimin

stroke : breast and IM (part of the IM trio)

events : anything breast and 200 IM 

has decent stamina for IM but not enough for 400 but can swim a 500 breast if he needs too

hobi and him have the best underwaters im talkin can go the length of the pool without coming up for air

also has amazing form??? like his fly is just so beautiful 

BEAUTIFUL STARTS AND PULLOUTS U DONT UNDERSTAND

makes sure the team is well fed and everyone has a lil bit of a crush on him lbr

the only one that actually eats healthy at pasta parties

has adorable charms on his swim bag n is constantly getting compliments on them

his skin is never dry??? how??

helps with warmup stretches and set up lane lines

the team insists on buying speedos bc have u seen those thighs???

has a soft spot for the freshman and always is encouraging them esp before big races

Taehyung

stroke : breast (sprint)

events : 100, 200 breast

decent stamina but his starts are always strongest so he’s often in the strongest relays

the Team Meme

always stuck on lane duty bc he is a freshman at heart

whips ppls butts with towels

but actually takes practice seriously like he’s putting in effort bc he wants to improve his technique and form

loves swimming with fins on bc he can go REAL fast and also likes to feel like a mermaid

his bangs are always falling out of his cap please help him

recruits all of the newbies bc who can say no to that face

somehow manages to get coach to laugh at his shitty jokes

always knows when someone is going thru tough times and gives them hugs and a snack bc sometimes u just need reassurance and a clif bar

has fallen asleep in his parka more than once

Jungkook

stroke : distance IM (just like Minho smh)

event : jack of all trades im not joking this kid is crazy everyone loves him and is highkey jealous

stamina up there with hoseok and jimin like he swims 1000 and its nothin for him

coach’s pet 

he was scouted by so many other sports but he chose swimming bc his hyungs were in it and he had to show that he could beat them at their own game (that and he actually rly likes swimming)

“c’mon guys this set isn’t that hard!!” “SHUT THE FUCK UP KOOK”

takes meets very seriously and even has a pre-meet playlist he listens to every time

his swim bag is a mess theres so many caps in there and granola bars and just dont even try okay

the one thing he cant do : cap himself and jimin and tae literally never let this go

he seems like he would eat healthy bc he drinks a ton of protein shakes but nah he’s stuffing oreos in his face on the downlow before every practice

shows up to morning practice ready to go all bright eyed and bushy tailed and even the coach is looking at him like he’s just sprouted a tail

always on lane duty bc he is still the Baby of the team and he hates it

has those cool hand paddles he never used them he just thinks they look cool

a seems like a natural but puts in a lot of extra practice and wants to make his team proud

[goryghostieguts]

The Best Friend Personality broken down by a Best Friend Personality: A Shallow Portrayal of a Deep Character

Ok so I have honestly had enough of people talking shit about this so I'm going to explain it better than the games and shows can. So this isn't a new thing for me. I am used to getting the characters I love and relate to shat on for how they are portrayed in media. It's been long going on ever since I started getting involved with fandoms and I always wondered why this was. I realized that after some time that it might be that many people can't see these characters in the perspective that I can. Also because these characters are often short lived in a plotline or are just never actually developed like they should. However, I didn't blame anyone until people (fans) started changing this personality into something completely different or overlooking this deep personality completely. This is brought up a final straw with 2 recent characters getting more backlash than I have ever seen this personality ever get. Lance McClain from Voltron and Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona 5. This post isn't about bashing people who dislike the characters. It's about getting to understand them which I can clearly see people aren't getting from the get go of their introduction. I'm doing this because their life and experiences are extremely similar to how I feel and live in my own life and to see these two be bashed for some of the deepest portrayal I have seen of this type hurts me greatly. I often hear and see people write that they are annoying, boring, selfish, egotistical, or even downright mean to others. This lack of understanding hurts me because I realize that I myself in society might be seen this way or this wide idea will spread into a live issue. I've also noticed that boys are really the only ones that get these traits. I am not sure why but I would love to see girls with these problems and see if this outcome would be different. (I could argue that Chloe Price falls into this but the position of what I speak of is dominated by Warren Graham) This character type is a best friend to the rest of the team or the protagonist and is often the wingman or the go to guy for everything. They don't necessarily all have the same personality but they all have a key features that make them fit into this position. It seems that these key features however are the things that get judged and, for me, I cannot quite see why. First impressions mean everything. These characters are often brought into a story immediately down on their luck AT ALL TIMES. I can give you some examples of this from characters that are this type: Lance is in a simulator that he ends up crashing and is scolded by Iverson and it is brought up that he isn't cut out to be a pilot along with all of the students pointing out his flaws blatantly, Ryuji Sakamoto is late for school with the protagonist in the rain and not only that he is the crap of the school before the protagonist comes along. He is held responsible for destroying the track team and believed to be a delinquent afterwards, Yosuke Hanamura literally rides his bike into a trash can and needs the protagonist to help him out and later he gets his ass kicked by Chie for breaking her DVD and gets his date turned down by Yukiko, Armin Arlert is being beaten up by a group of bullies and takes the beating not making an effort to fight back until Eren and Mikasa come to save him, Alistair Theirin is back and forth being harassed and harassing Mages and all around not really wanting to be in the camp, etc. You know the character I'm talking about. Now I get more into their backstory. Most of them are happy-go-lucky fun loving people on the outside but have some inner turmoil. It is a broken record of they never feel good enough and they never feel loved. It doesn't quite always start out that way when you meet them, they are often full of confidence no matter what is going on. However this changes when they realize that they make friends with people they aspire to be. They are jealous but they are happy they have friends that are great people. It is a mixed confusion that they will have and it is often haphazardly patched up with something like one occurrence or a line. This is not true to real life and honestly it is something that they will continue to feel no matter how early or late it is "fixed". There is also a possibility of it becoming a problem again if they aren't supported. These characters usually have something going on at home or personally that they don't make public to others easily. Some examples are: Lance misses his home where he got his support and many people on his team fail to realize that he really is the only one that gets criticized on a day to day basis, Junpei Iori has an alcoholic father and doesn't want to be around him much like Ryuji Sakamoto where his father would end up beating him and his mother (Ryuji is honestly a character I relate to the closest to out of many since me and my mother were victims of domestic violence and his actions and thoughts reflect a lot of what I have done and think about), Prompto Argentum feels extremely basic compared to his friends who grew up in noble and royal households which is then worsened when he finds out more about his past which I will spare those who still haven't played. These experiences and constant reminders that they will never be good enough by anyone especially by someone extremely influential in their life makes them believe that it is true and will see it everywhere. This is honestly a lasting impression because this started out when they were children and they were held to standards and are yelled and screamed at when they don't make it there. They have no comfort going anywhere because they usually get it at home and they get it with friends. Now this may not be on purpose but as someone who relates it is an extremely impressionable word or dare I say trigger that often will bring back the source of where this fear originated from. One thing I have noticed about all of them and myself is that we are snappers. We don't mean to snap at people but when you hear something over and over or they bring up something you don't want to talk about you get fed up with it. This is honestly what drives people away and it hurts because seeing people want to leave is nothing at all what we want. Expressing our feelings easily is not something we can do so we avoid it as much as possible resulting in what we hate the most. I can see this is where the mean and maybe selfish comes from. We are angered by seeing things happen to others and will take it on because it means something personal. When someone compliments us or says we did a good job we are deeply touched. None of that "for an idiot" crap because that is still holding the standard that we still are nothing and cannot progress past that trope. When we hear something genuine and invested we want to emphasize it because we did good and maybe people will see us better but people see this as: "Wow they are so full of themselves. Ok you did a good thing you don't have to rub it in my face or anything. So annoying." Because people don't make an effort to understand us or the characters they see it this way almost always. After being told so much that we suck and will never do good things when it happens and we say we are happy about it people crush it as "not a big deal". It is to us. It's a big deal when they say you're no good all the time. We will close ourselves off or brush it off with haha joke if this happens. No one will really genuinely be interested or celebrate it with us. I relate with these characters in an extremely personal level and understand them a lot better than most people do for how they are written. People will often warp this into a bad boy or crazy personality that honestly doesn't exist which not only makes me confused on why but it hurts to see this character be ripped up and made into something they're not. It is extremely depressing to see a character that I relate so much to destroyed by a fandom who doesn't understand them properly. But- I can easily see this character type influenced though. It stems from someone giving them what they want to hear and they can be manipulated. THEY MAY EVEN KNOW THEY'RE BEING MANIPULATED but it feels so good to finally hear what has been denied for so long. This isn't done with this type often though. This is why I am such a fan of dark Lance just being manipulated by the Galra because it could give a depth that is missing from characters like him. With an arc like this you get into more of what they desire and what is missing in their lives and how much they want to be seen as more than they are made out to be. Despite their detailed problems they really only want love and to be told that they matter and that they are important. It is an extremely easy solution that is almost never addressed in any game, show or media. The whole "Lance is being shoved down my throat" and this whole that isn't Lance I'm tired of! This "Ryuji is so mean to Morgana" (Morgana I low-key hate because Morgana is just fueling the fire by calling Ryuji dumb and an idiot in every other sentence and not one person has spoken ill of this fact) and "he's just and idiot" IM TIRED OF! People change them so much and make them out to be these righteous and self absorbed people who are rude IM TIRED OF! These characters cannot say anything or do anything to change what people see them as nor had I until now. I want people to understand that this is not the character you make them out to be. There are so many reasons behind the things that they do. They aren't dumb They just think differently. They aren't full of themselves they just want to prove they aren't worthless. Being someone who cannot even get a character that I can relate to who is cared for properly hurts because this is a problem I have seen over and over again. This is never fixed and if I don't explain it these characters will forever be underestimated and made into something they aren't. I want to work to a complete character. Not this consistent trope of the dumb hasty best friend. I want them to be loved and recognized for who they are, for what they struggle with, for how they think, and what they are looking for to complete their life. I'm sorry but it had to be said. I want this because I see myself and to see them hate what my life is. I cannot take it anymore. I hope that you take time to understand and invest more into them. To not see them as shallow or bland. Thanks for reading.