#but im going to bed now thats enough crying for tonight

[acidsaladd]

i think this is the first time a fic has ever made me cry for 5 (going on 6 now almost) consecutive chapters ever. i mean this in the most slash pos way possible

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[paiges-1vur]

could you do something with paige and mental health or anxiety??

nobody gets me, like you… as always enjoy loves <3

your shaking. it had been almost a year since your last panic attack. you didnt expect to end up like this on such a happy day, but it wasnt your fault. paige had just made it into the final four and was out celebrating her win with her team. while you were invited, you opted out and politely declined. you decided to stay home and bake a cake to surprise paige with when she got home. you always loved to surprise her and congratulate her accomplishments with little treats and surprises. everything was going well until you checked your socials. the cake was in the oven, and you started to mindlessly scroll on twitter. you were basically on the women’s basketball side of twitter… courtesy of dating paige. you had just happened to scroll upon a video posted just 30 minutes prior to you finding it. you read the post before nervously and suspiciously clicking the video. apparently, a fan had filmed a video of somone who looked like paige making out with a girl at the bar. you couldn’t tell from the blurry video if it really was her, but you did know paige was going to be drinking tonight.

after sending her ten texts all within ten minutes, and getting no response you started to panic. maybe she was cheating on you, and someone had caught it on video. you started to overthink every single possibility and run the worst case scenario through your head on a repeat loop. over and over. you couldn’t help it. tears started to form in your eyes, that soon turned to sobs as paige didn’t answer your calls, or texts. you had trust issues from dating and getting cheated on in the past, and thats part of the reason why you struggled so hard mentally with commitment and trust. paige knew this. at this point the cakes had burnt, and you had thrown them out, slumping yourself on the ground, leaning against the wall in the kitchen silently sobbing.

“baby?- baby what are you saying i- i cant hear you its so loud in here let me just- ill call you back.. okay.. bye” after another fifteen minutes of missed calls and texts paige had finally answered. it didnt help very much though. wherever she was, it was very loud and busy. you could barely breathe, worked up over the growing possibility that paige was hiding something from you, when she knew you trusted her. she called you back five minutes later. “hi baby.. im outside and holy shittt its so loud inside” she said giggling slightly. okay so she was drunk.. that only made you worry more. when you didn’t respond quick enough paige spoke again, “baby.. are you crying? whats wrong love- do you want me to come home?” you broke down. you simply weren’t able to answer her. when she heard your sobs as a response she spoke quickly this time. “im leaving now im getting in an uber ill be there in five.. please text me that your safe.. im so sorry baby whatever is making you upset.. im coming home right now. love you”

you put your phone down and for the next ten minutes just stared at the wall. you looked up through teary eyes to see the door opening and a worried paige coming down to the ground beside you. she knew you were to overstimulated to talk right now so she tried to calm you down pulling you into a deep hug. you immediately melted into her, sobbing silently. “i know baby, i know, im sorry.. i love you” she said, lifting you up and carrying you into your bedroom lying you down on your bed before getting in with you. she stroked you hair silently while you tried to slow your breathing and tears. you took a shakey deep breath before speaking. “paige.. i saw a video tonight of a girl who looked like you at a bar.. making out with another girl. a fan posted it and claimed it was you, and i trust you but.. it looked like you and i just- its dumb i know.” your words came out so fast, worried paige would get mad or say you were overreacting, which some people normally told you when you had panic attacks like this. she immediately softened her expression and pulled you close to her chest, playing with your hair. “oh my god- baby.. that was not me. i promise, i would never do that to you.” she sighed before talking again, “these crazy fans, sometimes they try to make me seem like someone who im not. i promise you baby i was with the team all night, just celebrating. thinking about you the whole time.” you nodded slowly, “okay- i trust you paige.. i just got worried.” you sniffled, “can we just lay here.. for a little” you said hiccuping slightly. “of course baby, we can cuddle for as long as you want.” she said placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “i love you sweet girl, and im sorry the media did this.. if i could stop it all i would.” she held your body as you slowly stopped shaking, moving to a calmer state. after some time of just laying there with each other silently, you began to drift off, her warm body holding you and her soft hands stroking your hair as you fell asleep calmly in her arms.

[floshav]

more rodrick PLSSSSS it can be anything

omg this is my first req ever and im so excited thank you!!

you wanted more Rodrick well here's more Rodrick.

part 2 out now!!

summary: Rodricks your best friend but thats not enough for you. As much as you hate to admit, you like the boy. That's why you show up drunk and high at one of his infamous house parties after he'd ranted to you about how he was so so in love with Heather Hills.

warnings: angst, heartache, kissing, Heather Hills, pining, weed, alcohol, crying, one sided love kinda, self hate

wc: 1k+

"She was so pretty."

"Oh yea?"

"No. I dont think you understand, like the way her hair smelled when she strut past me, the smell of..... smell of something light. Fresh! Pink even."

Rodrick practically had stars in his eyes when he described how his crush was at school. You'd be ecstatic if the crush was you, but the world is cruel so here you were talking about Heather Hills for the last hour or so.

"Y'know... I heard she spat on Louise last week. Poor kid, was dosed in her icky saliva for the whole day." Y/n was selfish but she tried to paint Heather in a bad light.

"Shit i'd pay good money for her to spit on me."

Well that backfired she thought.

"Freak" Y/n lightly laughed as she fell back onto Rodricks soft bed. Chest heaving up and down whilst her mind felt clouded.

"What can I say, love makes anyone a freak."

There was that word again. Love. How could he be bloody in love with little miss Heather Hills. The queen of highschool. The perfect girl. Pretty blondie. Pretty face. Y/n quickly began to realise there were plenty of reasons for Rodrick to crush on her. Y/n was a nobody. She thought her face ugly, her style wack, her eyes too uneven. She hated, hated, hated herself and wished she looked like Heather.

"Oh. My. God. I just had the best fucking idea" Rodrick exclaimed with the dorkiest smile he could produce, each fine line below the thickness of his eyebrows seen under the dim lighting of his room.

"Hmm?" Y/n buzzed as she basked in the coolness of his sheets

"M'gonna throw a party" "Heather would definitely come, i mean its one of my parties we're talking about."

Flashbacks to Rodrick's last party hit y/n's head like a train when she remembered how chaotic and horrible the experience was. Drunk teens shouting and chugging unknown beverages, shoulders brushing against shoulders constantly as she tried to find a room she could breath in without having to see another damn couple absolutely devouring eachother. Each and every minuscule second she'd spent in that house made her want to puke. The sight that made her want to puke the most was Rodrick's clearly drunk self throwing himself onto Heather, eyes sparkly with hope whilst she just sat there smiling so sweetly it was sickening.

Quickly she was sent back to reality.

"D'you think that's a good idea?" she questioned, tired.

"Course it is! she always comes to my things"

"Kay' whatever you think is gonna earn you your little dream girl specimen."

"Trust me, this times different." That's what he always said.

--------------------------------------

It's ok. It's ok. I-It's.... it's gonna be fine. she told herself as she admired the makeup she'd put on for tonight's occasion, she'd tried to copy one of Heathers famous looks, but quickly realised it didn't suit her skin so she stuck to her usual and hated herself for it. It was dreadfully the day of his party. The day that she'd have to witness him openly flirt with Heather just because he had an excuse to down a dozen bottles of cheap booze. She swiped a smear of lipstick that somehow ended up below her lip and sighed as she adjusted her shirt. Why do you always give in? Just confess you idiot. No! what the fuck am i thinking. she scrunched her nose and took a deep breath in, abusing her vanity with the pressure from the pads of her fingers.

She really really didn't want to go. She couldn't bare seeing Heather show up with her annoyingly perfect face, her perfect nose, her perfect hair, her stupidly sweet personality that everyone gaped over. Fuck it. She hated herself and wanted to forget that Rodrick even existed.

She found her not so hidden stash of weed she'd carelessly left under a pile of worksheets from her chemistry class, something ionic bonding. She didn't know how long it'd sat there for but it stained the ziplock bag a dull yellow. The bag was crinkled and smelled like the thought of Rodrick. Whenever she was upset or mad at Rodrick she'd smoke weed to drown the thoughts out but she slowly realised it was ruining the drug as a whole for her.

She rolled a joint in a random piece of paper she'd found thrown on her floor and lit up the end, taking a deep whiff of it, smile playing on her lips.

-----------------------------

"Animals.....Elephants....Tiguurrrsssss!" She slurred as she laid flat on her disheveled bed scrunching the sheets as her eyes formed stars around her ceiling. She got up abruptly, hair a mess and rubbed her eyes deepening the pressure with every second. "Rrrr... What time? Uggggh" She sighed as she reached for her phone. Her room was cloudy and smelled of green. Beside her were a few empty glasses so she took a sniff, curious. Happy juice? No, Vodka she thought. She saw the emptied out bottle of cheap convenience store alcohol by the side of her feet a long with the yellowed bag of weed which was empty. it'd been around 2 hours since she blacked out on her bed somehow thinking about how her fan looked like the shape of animals. Shit, fuck, ass, asshole! she muttered under her breath as she plopped back down.

"Why not? What's thurrr worst that could happennn?" she mumbled eyes fluttering as she picked up her bag and stumbled out her window, careful not to wake anyone. She took the route down the tree that always worked for her but in a clumsy fashion as she fumbled down the hard branches of her overgrown escape buddy. Craaack, Creeeeak. The continuous sounds made her annoyed. "Uggggfh can't everyone just shut up!!"

--------------------------------------

There she was. Standing dumb, drunk and high in front of the booming house lit up by warm yellow light. She could already smell the familiar smell of cheap alcohol, body odour and weed. My kind of night she thought as she barely made her way to the entrance. There were already people outside partying like no tomorrow as some flipped their hair to some overplayed hip hop song that everyone knew. While some were more restricted, sipping on booze as they giggled with their friends. The true highschool experience y/n thought.

Bump.

"Hey! Watch it-"

"Y/n?"

It was someone with beautiful waves of blonde still visible from her clouded vision, pretty makeup and a perfect body. Heather.

"O-Oh hey Heather! Pretty little Heather Hills." Y/n slurred as her vision was still blurred

"Uhm... Y'alright?" She questioned looking back at her friends as if y/n was cuckoo.

"No. No. No. No! Y-you. You. You and your stupidly perfect self can go to hell!" y/n lashed out

"W-what? Y/n what the fuck is wrong with you?" Heather said clearly freaked out by the sudden aggression.

Tears started to cloud y/n's vision so she took in a deeeeep breath trying to suck in as much oxygen as she could.

"Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! You- You're all he wants. Heather, heather, heather! My perfect little heather with her pretty little face!" Y/n cried out as her knees began to weaken. She had no sense of shame, embarrassment or anxiety. She was too blacked out for this. So blacked out she just blurted her deepest darkest thoughts.

A crowd began to form around them, some curious at the sudden shouting girl who was crumbling a part, vulnerable in front of some people she didn't even know the names of.

"W-what? What are you even saying y/n." Heather said confused and disturbed as she began to back away.

Warmth began to spread at the small of y/n's back. Rodricks hand.

"Y/n? Why the fuck are you screaming?- Y/n s-shit you're not alright." Rodrick hastily slung y/n's arm around his shoulder careful with her as if she was a piece of fine china.

"S-sorry bout' that Heaths, trust me she doesn't mean anything she's saying" Rodrick stutters clearly not drunk enough, nervous as he realises that Heather is clearly agitated.

"Y-yea. It's okay Rodrick. It's not your fault, just get her far from here kay?" Heather said with sympathy and those stupid doe eyes whilst placing a hand on his shoulder. This should've made him tremble with pleasure, but the fact that she'd talked about y/n as if she was a monster made him angry.

"Yea. Yea alright." Rodrick scoffed, lightly rolling his eyes before dragging y/n's blacked out figure up his carpeted staircase, the carpet grazing her knees creating a friction which burned satisfyingly on her kneecaps.

"Fuuuck. Fuck..." Y/n softly mumbled, head tilting to the side of his shoulder as he firmed his grip on the side of her shoulder. Shoulders.... shoulders are for friends, real girls get hands put on their waist. Not shoulders. She managed to conjure the thought in her hazed mind.

He struggled to open his door as y/n's body weight pressed into the side of him as he suddenly heard silent weeps of sorrow erupt from her lips.

He set her on the foot of his bed, careful not to drop her anywhere harsh.

"Y/n? Y/n what's wrong, you're like black out drunk." He asked now bending down with both hands on his knees.

He slowly caresses his hand over the hill of her cheekbone and shoves a fly of hair away from her puffy eyes.

"You....i... Im sick of you and- and her." She sighs as a hysterical tear falls from her eye. Her face was the saddest Rodrick had ever seen and this broke his heart.

"Me and... me and who y/n?" He said so softly as he began to crouch so so close to her, his eyes looking up into hers with genuine curiosity and care. The mention of her name fluttered her heart.

"Heather" She breathed out involuntarily sniffling.

"You don't like me talking about her?" He slowly asked as if all the dots were finally clicking together.

"That's a stupid question." He lowly chuckled as he swiped his thumb under the pad of her eyes.

"I.. I really- I really"

"You really what?" He said again so so softly

"I really like you." She blurted before she felt that familiar rush of heat rapture her face.

Rodrick's eyes glance down to her swollen lips and he feels a strong ache pill at his heart. His best friend just confessed about her underlaying fondness of him and he'd been an ass talking about Heather all the time. He imagined how bad it must've sucked all the damn time.

"I-I'm so sorry I- I always talked about her."

"No! don't fucking be sorry you idiotttt." She slurred

"You- You don't owe me anything." She smiled softly as she fluffed up his hair.

"Maybe..." This is wrong he thought

"Maybe i do owe you an apology." He said slow and steady as he glanced down to her lips and locked with it for the final time.

He slowly moved in to plant a soft kiss on her puffy lips and her eyes widened in surprise.

The kiss felt like heaven and she tasted like everything he was used to. A hint of cherry chapstick, a lot of weed and something coconut. His lips felt so soft against hers and she breathed in every second of the experience. She almost wanted to whine when he pulled away.

"I- Fuck."

Y/n's euphoric high was quickly ruined at the notice of him clearly regretting his decision.

"No- It's fine Rodrick. I get it, it was just a in the moment thing." She sighed as she put both her hands to her face rubbing her cheeks and eyes as if she was trying to rid off the pain in her heart.

"No, no, no! it's not that."

"I just..."

"Fuck it." He went in for another kiss.

--------------------------(end)

thank u for the request!! i hope this was enough to satisfy ur rodrick need lol, if u ever want a smutty end to this lmk but yarrrrr

[cumulo-stratus]

Embrace[s.r]

spencer doesnt feel like hes anything more than his intelligence, but ethan proves him wrong.

WARNINGS- angst, internalized homophobia, self esteem issues, crying, mentions of mommy issues

college au!Ethan x college au!spencer reid ][ hurt/comfort ][ masterlist!!

a/n- ok this is actually my first ship fic and im so excited!! i've been obsessed with Ethan x spencer ever since i started writing this! hope y'all enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing <3

1.25k

there was a soft breeze drifting through the window ruffling the non-existent curtains that no college student was going to spend their little money on. Instead there were some cheap shades provided by the university.

Ethan never minded his small means, his small dorm with a small bed despite being in his junior year. The bed was big enough to fit him and Spencer and that's all he cared about.

but tonight, in the dark room they weren't sitting on top together- no Spencer was hunched over himself his body wracking sob after sob, and ethan’s arms wrapped around him. they left comforting circles on his back, and squeezed spencer tightly against his chest.

the darkened room left both boys faces wailed by shadows, hiding spencers tear track stained cheeks from his best friend.

ethan’s hushed voice was deafening over the silence of the tiny dorm room. He whispered quiet small nothings into spencers ear.

spencers cheek was smushed into his best friends shoulder, and his face was in ethan’s neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his worn university sweatshirt.

spencers knees were pulled to his chest in a self soothing motion, and ethan’s arm wrapped around the ball of spencer in his lap. Spencer also had his arms wrapped tightly around ethan’s waist, white knuckle gripping the back of his sweatshirt.

spencer had never felt worth more than when he was with Ethan. Ethan saw him for more than a 187 IQ or a multiple degree nerd. To Ethan, spencer was a man who had humor, deep empathy, and so so much love to give.

And it was nights like these were sometimes spencer needed a little help remembering that.

after all, thats what best friends are for right?

by two am, spencers body didn’t have any more tears to cry. He was a tired cookie sinking into his best friend’s arms.

“i, im sorry,”

spencer sounded hesitant, voice still shaky and throat still frogged. Ethan only chuckled lightly to himself, causing spencers eyebrows to knit together slightly and his head to perk up from its place on the other boys shoulder at the sound.

“spencer you've nothin to be sorry for” ethan’s soothing drawl lulled spencers worries along with the bashful smile he held for the idiotic genius in front of him.

this caused a small smile to crawl its way onto spencers lips and a blush on his cheeks.

“everyone needs a lil’ reassurance sometimes- even geniuses like you spence,”

spence. only Ethan called him spence. spencer liked when ethan called him that. the only other person who had a nickname for him was his mother, and thats a whole other can of worms filled with mommy issues we dont have time for.

these reassuring words caused the aforementioned smile to grow on his lips a centimeter or two. Spencer had now raised his head to look directly at Ethan. Their faces were so close, they could feel each others breath warming the others’ lips.

Ethan couldn't help but let his eyes drift downwards to spencer’s pink lips, the moment getting the better of him. the young genius was too busy staring into ethan’s beautiful deep brown eyes.

the bearded man tentatively lifted a hand to spencers cheek. he cupped it gently, his thumb rubbing away the tear tracks littering spencers soft cheeks. Ethan could feel the heat rising to his already warm cheeks.

this caused spencer to smile a bit, his eyes crinkling slightly from joy and bashfulness. they reminded themselves of school girls, blushing and grinning for eachother.

Ethan leaned in closer without actually touching spencers face with his, if that was possible. though it was spencer who took the final leap to close the gap.

Spencers lips felt exactly how Ethan had imagined them for months, the kiss feeling electric as they danced. Ethan had been pining for his best friend for months, but this whole experience was new for spencer. He had never really kissed anyone, and he had never really imagined it being with a man. but it felt right. like so many things had just clicked into place and spencer felt at peace in ethan’s arms

finally pulling away air, they both grinned big bashful smiles at each other. “that was nice, i like doing that. i like kissing you.” Spencer the ever logical man of science stated them as facts, though the hearts in his eyes were far from logical.

“can i kiss you again?” Ethan phrased it more like a statement than a question, but the offer still stood. instead of a response, Ethan got a kiss, which i guess one could say is a response. this time neither was caught off guard, and they could enjoy it more.

spencer felt fireworks behind his eyes to say the least.

when the pair reluctantly pulled away for air again, Ethan couldn't help but stare into spencer blown, honey brown pupils. Thais caused spencer to blush, a warmth creeping up his cheeks, blending with the buzzing lingering on his lips left by ethan’s own lips.

“i like you, ethan, like a lot”

ethan chuckled a bit, not at spencers admittance, but at the fact he fel the need to say it. “oh really spence, we practically just made out. but for the record i like you to, like a lot” Ethan had a warm smile fas as he spoke, looking down at spencer, who was still resting the side of his head against ethan’s shoulder.

spencer blushed a little when Ethan called him out, but knew he only meant it lovingly. though lovingly was the only way ethan ever spoke to spencer.

Even before spencer collapsed into his arms crying when he came over to vent about classwork, even before Ethan comforted him with no hesitation, and even before they practically made out. which was why Ethan felt the need to support

“hey spence?”

“ya?”

“you know it’s okay that you kissed a guy, ive known i was into guys since freshman year, its okay.”

spencer looked down, fiddling with his fingers like he always did. Ethan took the opportunity to take spencers hands in his. “hey, honey, look at me, it’s okay.” spencer darted his eyes up to Ethan’s and he said with an obvious frog in his throat “its okay that I kissed you, its okay that im in love with you.”

ethan’s smile was warm at spencer’s words, and he placed a peck on his cheek. “thank you handsome, thats all i wanted to hear.” spencer was even more blushy at the pet name, leaning farther into ethan’s shoulder in the hopes of obscuring his face in the other boys sweater.

“you know if your in love with me, then i think that means we should be boyfriends, right?” Ethan had a playful tone, but the questions till stood.

“i think so too, boyfriend.” spencer spoke joyfully, a smile on his face as he placed one last kiss on his now boyfriends lips.

without any other words said the new couple laid down together. spencer laid with his back resting against his boyfriends chest as he curled in on himself.

Ethan took the opportunity as the big spoon to rest in face in spencers hair, the smell of his hair gel bringing comfort.

Spencer fell asleep to the sound of ethan’s breathing and the feeling of his boyfriend’s warmth against their skin. He felt like more than enough in ethan’s arms, in ethan’s embrace.

The End

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[adarafaelbarba]

Paoa Joe having doubts

He’s never felt doubt like this since the early stages of your relationship when he thought he wasn’t good enough for you.

But now as he stands in the nursery with a crying baby in his arms, wondering how it got to this. He hates the feeling. It’s his daughter, she’s half him and half you. So why won’t she settle?

After an hour she tired herself out from screaming and Joe can finally put her in her crib. He watches her sleep with tears forming in his eyes.

You find him crying on the couch. “Baby what’s wrong?” Worry instantly washing over you.

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.” His voice trembling. All the little things he’d been feeling since the news broke about you being pregnant started to wash over him.

“What?”

He looks up at you, tears still in his eyes. “Sofia was screaming for over an hour before finally falling asleep from exhaustion. The fact that the cops haven’t shown up on a welfare check is crazy to me.” He was rambling, and you hurried over to him to hold his face in your hand.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, she’s normally not like this.”

“Just like this with me. It’s okay amor, I get it. She’s getting bad vibes from me.”

You made him look at you again, shaking your head. “I’ve been putting her to bed every night for 6 months. She was probably really tired and not aware that I wouldn’t be there for bedtime tonight. She just needs some getting used to other bedtime routines is all.”

When he didn’t respond you climbed up on his lap and hugged him close, whispering comforting words to him.

~~~

Tagging:

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[blingblong55]

Science- 141 + Los Vaqueros

This is based on a request:

Im sorry if this is such a downer but im in a really bad place rn andi need something to cope but can I have Los Vaqueros + 141 seeing their best nurse crying because their parents called them a failure for dropping out a doctor and wasting money and now their nurse thinks she's useless. The extent of their sadness is to the point of a seriously bad mental breakdown

Angst?, some fluff, platonic relationship, F!Reader

It's just science Don't let it break you down

You had become the favourite nurse for all of the 141 and Los Vaqueros men. So much so that in any mission where they had to go to a new country, you'd have to go as well. They trusted you with anything and everything, no doctor or other medical staff could get through them like you did. The one man that trusted you the most was Ghost, before he took his mask off back in Mexico, you had already seen that face, hundreds of times.

141 and Los Vaqueros, are working together in a new assignment, you of course were told to go with them. But after the last mission, you found it hard to concentrate on much. Things were becoming more difficult, and best believe there was a reason for this.

You have been a nurse in the military for about 5 years now, the things you've learned in you field, the memories you have created and people you've met are something you thank you job for. But about a year into you working as a nurse, you started to look into becoming a doctor. Something you always dreamed of becoming, and to be honest, it was a job position your family saw you in. Once you go into medical school, the worst stress you had gone through, it took a year and a half of your life to quit that dream.

You only had told your family you were pursuing that dream and of course Laswell, who moved your schedule around so you could attend school. On a great day, well at the beginning, your family called you.

They had received the news you had quit med school, and best believe they kept yelling at you. The text messages were also no good,

Mum: how dare you!!!!

Mum: we worked hard to give you a good life and education and the only thing we asked was for you to become a doctor and you failed us!

Dad: You are such a disappointment

Dad: a literal disgrace to my family

For days on end, the calls and messages kept coming through. Every day you'd start with a headache, reading through their shit messages, crying before breakfast and acting as if you only slept so little. It was getting out of hand, you started to get more and more tired.

You questioned your role in the military, asking yourself if you were even good enough to help people. But, you could cope with all that, it was easy to do it. It had become so usual to feel these things and ask all of these questions to yourself, it no longer fazed you. You'd jog or run to get this energy out of you.

Until tonight.

Echo team had been sent to a mission, a terrible one. Everyone came back with at least one injury. Blood on the floor as a few soldiers were dragged into beds. Everyone was woken up, Delta and Charlie team were sent to finish the mission. But as you and the other medical personnel ran through the med-bay, helping anyone that required assistance, you had found yourself crying in some supply closet.

Soap and Rudy had heard about the hectic night all of the medical teams were going through and the first person they thought of was you. So, naturally for the two men, they wanted to show you how much they appreciated the job you were doing. They made you some rather warm coffee and your favourite, carrot cake, well more like fairy cake/cupcake.

For about 30 minutes, they went around med-bay, calling and asking for you. Most shrugged and jogged back to some other rooms, others pointed in different directions. And thats when they heard your cry. They knew the stressed you put into tonight, but they didn't quite understand it, so they called for backup.

The rest of 141 and Alejandro were all waiting for the right time to open that door. One single knock and they couldn't hear you, "Hey kid, its us...can we come in?"

You unlock the door, the second you see Price, your arms wrapped around him as you hugged him. You sobbed and mumbled some words he couldn't quite make out. His hands patting and rubbing your back. Your sobs becoming louder as he whispers, "It's okay, kiddo. Let it out, we're here."

The other men just stayed quiet and stared. Mental breakdowns were normal in the military, the stress and pressure you are put through is beyond what civilians can go through. So, in some sad way, they all understood. Slowly, priced took you by the hand and guided you out of the closet in which you had spent at least an hour crying and laughing at yourself at.

Once they reached their part of base and into the common room, you stay there, arms crossed, a pillow being held.

"Lass," Soap said in a soft and gentle voice as he was the first to break the silence, "can I ask, what caused this?" He always cared so much for you, after all, you had become his best girl, and the only person to tolerate his banter.

"I....I think...no, I know I don't belong here."

"Belong where?" Alejandro asks.

"Here."

Ghost chuckles, he sits down and pats your leg, "I don't belong here, Soap, Gaz, and sure as hell Rudy doesn't either," he sighs and pauses, his finger at your chin as he makes you look at him, his other hand caressing your cheek and wiping your tears, "and my beloved, I know you don't belong here too." His voice carrying sincerity.

"Price and I, we may have our years of experience, but," Alejandro sits next to you, "sometimes things get hard, it happens."

"We can only take so much before we break, my dear." Gaz sits across from you.

"What caused this?" Rudy asked,

You sigh and look at the pillow, playing with the edges of it before answering, "a...a while ago I decided to become doctor," you paused before feeling like you were disappointing them, "I only lasted a year and a half in med school."

Price understood, in a way, why you had that mental breakdown.

"Y'know, I didn't become captain so easily."

"I failed a test and re took it well over 13 times before they made me colonel." Alejandro confesses

"And he made me the subject of that frustration." Rudy laughed a little.

"It was yer parents, wasn't it, lass" Soap spoke up, he and Gaz knew the story.

You, overworking yourself to make them proud, although that never came around. The word "proud", was never said to you, thats why you over accomplish things and thats why you are here in a couch, crying and being comforted by the men you have grown to call a family.

You look at soap, ghost's hand still rubbing your cheek as he wipes the tears away. "Yes."

Soap gets up and goes to you, kneeling in front of you as he looked you in the eyes, "You were born into a family that doesn't always appreciate you. But one day things are going to be very different."

He stood up, held your hand and gestured for the others to follow his lead, "c'mere, my bonnie." He kissed your forehead and hugged you, the other men doing the same.

At least 30 seconds after they gave into this group hug, gaz spoke first, "I don't mean to say this in a bad way, but...I think she gets it, hug over."

You chuckled and they pulled away, Price and soap stayed though.

"We love you kiddo, your place in this team is the most valuable." Price kissed your cheek and pulled away, not Soap, this was his excuse to show you his appreciation for you.

"We love ya so so much, but I do love ya more," he kissed your forehead once more before looking into your eyes, "my very best gal." He winks and wink back, something you two have been doing after each moment like this, although this time, the other witnessed it.

it's just science Don't let it scare you now

-----

A/N: Yes, I did use that Matilda quote...shut it..anyways..love ya<3

Tags: @anonymuslydumb (love ya, pookie bear<33333)

[ncis-onyoursixboss]

Gibbs and you have an argument

Summery: You are tired of gibbs coming home at 12:00 and jusy going downstairs to work on his boat, so you mention it and when he starts to deny, you blow up a little. What you did not expect was for the words he said to fly out of his mouth.

Being the wife of gibbs ment that you sometimes had to wait an additional 3-4 hours for your loving husband to get home. Even then, sometimes he would sit in the basement for hours at a time, only coming up to get dinner when you forced him too. Still, you composed yourself and delt with those nights, always willing to tell him that you married ALL of him, even his flaws. However, this past month was different. The entire month he had been home super late, barely eating, working on that damn boat, and never even spoke to you. It got on your nerves. How could he ignore you for an entire month before realizing it? Thats why you tryed to find a way to slip it in before he evaporated, stuck working on the unfinished boat.

"Love, i know your busy but i need to talk with you." You said softly, gaining some confidence as he seemed to be better then yesterday.

"Not now (Name) im busy, you know this." He responded, just as cold as the few times he would respond to you as of late. He continued to move around, grabbing some things for his long trip downstairs.

"I know, i just wanna ask if maybe you could take a break? You have been overworking yourself, its dangerous." You continue explaining. "Besides, maybe some time with your wife would help relax-" but you were quickly cut off by an annoyed tone.

"So you just want attention?" He asked as he stops moving and stares at you. You let out a shallow breath and shook your head.

"N-no, well, kinda but thats not why i am worried. You have been this way for a month, you work till 12:00 and then come home, and go right downstairs, you only come up once and thats too get your plate to take back downstairs!" You start to get louder as you get angrier that he hasent noticed his own scheduale.

"Im trying to save lives! Are you questioning me?! My job is serious and cant be wasted eating dinner and playing family!" He shouts at you, face growing a shade of light red, showing how angry he really is. You stagger backwards, shocked he would blow-up in such a way towards you.

"What are you saying Jethro?" You ask, worried for your relationship.

"IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME, FILE FOR A DAMN DIVORCE! I CANT WASTE MY TIME WITH YOU!!" He screamed towards you. Loud enough for the whole block to hear. You shook lightly and felt your eyes gathering tears. Gibbs stared at you, almost like he was waiting.

"You want a divorce..?" You asked, so meakly, it almost broke him. He had realized what he said. He just told the love of his life, to leave. He pushed you away. He hurt you. He broke all his custom vows, in 2 sentinces. You turned around and sobbed your way back to your "Shared" bedroom.

If he really wanted you gone, you would leave. You would do anything to ensure his happiness. Even if it ment destroying you in the process.

You grabbed a duffel from inside your closet and put it ontop the bed. You walked back to the closet and grabbed clothes, stuffing then inside. You didint need much, just enough to stay with Dinozzo for the night. You and Tony had been close friends for years before he introduced gibbs to you. You knew he was alone tonight so you figured you would go there. If he couldent take you, you would to to a hotel or maybe abby's.

"What are you doing?" You heard from the doorframe behind you. You turned to see gibbs standing there, wide eyed and with his eyes watered up. You smiled softly while still crying.

"Im going somewhere else for the night, I should be back tommorow, if you still want the divorce by then, i'll file it ok?" You said. Thats when he broke. He started to cry and hugged you, not wanting to let go.

"P-please dont, im so sorry, im sorry, please, dont leave me, i didint mean what i said i swear." He stiffled through small sobs. His feelings were not what you expected.

"But you said-" however he cut you off by kissing you roughly and messily, the same slightly chapped lips in play.

"Im sorry, please stay, i'll take a break, ill get rid of the boat, just, stay." He begged. You nodded and he shoved the duffel off the bed before picking you up and placing you in. He turned out the lights, climbed in and spent the rest of the night holding you, being afraid if he let go, he might lose you forever.

"I love you, Jethro"

"I love you too"

[r0-boat]

ummm can you write rika x reader where the reader is hopped up on aphrodisiacs and wants to get fucked stupid by her. maybe with a strap with fake cum in it too?

Women I love women holy shit.

Afab! Reader x Rika

Rika coos watching you grind into her hand. Her grin widening hearing your sweet voice desperately whimpering her name.

Your core practically melting the palm of her hand pressing against you're drenched sex was not enough.

" Patience Doll~" Rika chuckled, lifting your hips up as you feel her fingers gide just barely passed your folds.

" Let me play with you for a little while longer Darling and I'll fill you up nice and full~” Rika purred.

She pressed her lips against your body peppering kiss along the skin. Grinding her thumb against your clit, her finger is tracing up and down your entrance occasionally just barely dipping deeper only to pull out with every buck of your hips.

Yes, Rika could punish you for your lack of obedience tonight but, wasn't it already punished enough to give you aphrodisiac and tease like this? And besides the whimpering drenched mess of sight underneath her, pulling and crying out for attention for more was going straight to her pussy.

Your juices coated the tips of her fingers her red eyes more ridiculous as she brings her fingers up and licks them clean.

"mmh... you taste so sweet Pretty~ I could just do you up..."

Giving you a playful look her hands grab your buttocks lifting you up, with nothing but the bed against your back and your legs and her arms supporting you.

"And I think... I will!"

You lose your mind feeling her soft wet tongue Glide against your soaked cunt. Arching your back when her tongue presses deeper.

You couldn't help but grind your cunt against her face, wanting more and more. With the blazing heat deep inside of you turning into mush from the inside out, you are so close yet it wasn't enough to satisfy you, you cry out for more.

"P-please! R-rika, I-i cant take it! N-need your cock!"

Aw... she could see tears starting to form in your eyes do you really need her that badly??

She moves her lips from your mouth glistening with your juices. She lifts your leg over her shoulder pressing the head of her toy against your entrance. You try to reach out and touch your lover only for her hands to grab yours pinning them above your head.

You squirm trying to rub yourself against her toy.

"Rika!Rika! P-please! Fill me! Fil-AAH YES YES YES!" You cry out, when she finally spears you open.

She could never get enough of your screams, how you squeak and squeal her name while you try to take more and more! And she was happily to give you more squeezing your wrists before taking a hold of your other leg folding you in half completely. Pressing you into the bed she slams down.

"h-hahah! your sooo cute baby~ we should have tried aphrodisiacs ages ago!" She laughs watching your face twisting in pure pleasure.

You lose yourself, drool dripping from your mouth your brain frying thinking of nothing but her cock, your fingers dig into your thights. All you could do now is lay there and take every pound of her cock.

"mmm~ you're squeezing around me so tightly, you're being such a good sweetheart~"

She wraps a hand around her throat.

" I think you deserve a reward, don't you think?

She squeezes once

" I'll fill you up how's that sound?"

She moved faster. Another hand wrapping around your throat.

"h-haha I'll make you nice... and full I'll make you mine would you like that pretty? Would you like to be filled up with my cum?"

"c-clos-" was the only thing you could mutter,

"huh? Speak up pretty I didn't hear you tell me you want me to fill you!" Rika said this time more firm

"r-rika...please... S-so close-"

"I SAID LOUDER" she yells her hand coming down onto your ass. You break as you come on her cock

"PLEASE RIKA IM CUMMING FILL ME! FILL ME NOW!!"

"oh-h thats a good p-pet, fuck I..im so wet... Im gonna fill you up."

All you remember was feeling warm liquid from her cock spill deep inside of you.

Immediately she lowered your legs off of her shoulders and scooped you into her arms. Peppering your face with kisses while her fingers glide through your hair. You are already gone your chest rising and falling as your eyelids flutter close.

That was so hot fuck you are so hot the images of you underneath her will be burned in her mind for hours when she plunges her fingers in and out of her cunt later.

[stellawolfearts]

I can imagine there's an instance where Macaque wakes up from a nightmare or whatever and when he wakes up he finds that the kids are sleeping but he can't find Wukong and he panics internally until he finds Wukong in the kitchen making tea and just clings

Cold

So......cold.

and dark.

He was alone, cold and trapped within the dark. How long had he been here...?

Ah thats right, for all eternity.

Theres no escaping the cold and dark grasp of death, no escaping her piercing blue eyes. Her cold dead hands dragging you into the abyss. All you can do is forget any shred of hope and let the darkness drag you into deaths grasp.

For that, is destiny

The air that filled his lungs with a sharp gasp was like a drop of water in a barren desert. But he had been too greedy and now choked on his breaths.

"Destiny"

Macaque sat up and scrambled back against the headboard.

Everything was still dark, the void-was he still in there? was he dead?!

no no he had been revived, he was revived and now lived in the mortal realm. why else would his body be reaction to such a nightmarish scene in such way.

sweat clung to his fur, his breathing sharp and quick, burning his chest. his shaky hands tightened around something soft, a blanket.

He was in a bed.

as his eyes adjusted to the dark he could see the bedroom.

Wukongs bedroom.

"W...Wu-" Macaque looked around he bed "Wukong?!"

His hands seached the bed frantically, tearing off the blankets as he searched for the one he had been sleeping with. but in place of him was an empty spot on the matress.

"Destiny"

"Wukong!" Macaque jumped off of the bed but his legs emmediatly gave out beneath him and he crashed to he ground with a thud, hitting his head against the hardwood flooring.

the room began to spin "w-wukong" Macaque groand trying to push himself up. He managed to get to his feet by leaning on the wall but he felt like he was going to collapse any moment.

"Macaque!"

Macaque heard her voice, he wanted to call out for her again, reach out and grab her, throw her on the bed and make sure she never leaves his side again.

But all he managed to do was raise his teary face to Wukong, who was now standing by the doorway shocked to see Macaque in such a state.

"Macaque, what happened?" He rushed over and gently grabbed his arms to guide Macaque back to the bed but instead Macaque pulled out of Wukongs hold and wrapped his arms around Wukong, digging his face into his chest.

Wukong was frozen, Macaque was crying into his chest with his arms wrapped around him so desparatly as if he would dissapear if Macaque let go.

Another nightmare.

Wukong snapped out of his daze and wrapper her arms around Macaque.

"shh plums its okay, im here. Im sorry, i couldnt sleep so i went to go make some tea. Im sorry i wasnt there"

Macaque didnt reply, he just kept silently crying into Wukongs chest while holding her tightly.

with a sigh Wukong swiftly picked up her crying lover, luckily she had already turned off the oven before she got to thier bedroom, and set macaque down into the bed. Macaque wasnt letting go so Wukong crawled into the bed with thier plums.

Macaque still wouldn't let go, and Wukong wasnt going to make him. Wukong wiped away macaques tears and kissed his forehead. then pulled the blankets over the both of them and curled around Macaque to hep him feel as safe as possible.

"its okay plums....im here. your safe"

---------------------------------------

alternativly

------------------------------------

Wukong couldn't sleep, again....it wasn't a rare occurrence. Then again ever since he and macaque had made amends his sleep schedule had been much healthier then normal. But wukogn guesses that old habits die hard and now he was in the kitchen pouring a nice hot glass of tea to hopefully calm himself enough to rest tonight.

"Wukong?"

Wukong stopped mid-sip, she set the glass down and turned to Macaque who looked very distraught. Sweat soaking his fur, his face red and puffy, Obviously from crying, and his tail wrapped tightly around his leg.

"plums, whats wrong?" she asked. adjusting herself in her seat to face Macaque.

Macaque only hummed as he walked towards Wukong and stood behind them.

"Nightmare?" Wukong asked as Macaque wrapped his arms around thier torso and rested his head on thier shoulder.

Wukong raised his hand and cupped macaques cheek, bringing it closer to her to she could gently kiss his lips.

"its okay, your safe with me"

Macaque grumbled something and buried his face further into Wukongs shoulder as he held him tighter.

[haretic]

recently i've come into a predicament. my sobriety seems to be causing issues. that or my friends are terrible people.

since a few months ago, i've tried calling quits on drinking and drugs. it is tough, i always feel like an eternally lame teenager, but i'm better off for it.

i don't like who i am or how i feel when i get drunk or high. it makes my dissociation worse, my psychosis worse, and it sends me into these massive spirals.

my friends know this. i've talked to them about it.

since summer break started all they've done is plan hangouts i very distinctly cannot go to. all where drinking and smoking is the main event. i've brought up my sobriety before, they know full well i can't make events like that, but they refuse to do anything that isn't directly centered around intoxication.

i feel utterly and completely alone. only about three of them care enough to plan events with me without intoxicants. everytime i try to make plans in our groupchat, everyone else completely ignores me, leaves me on read or talks over me. they simply do not care if they have to be sober. its no fun for them if they arent sober.

recently, they've all started getting meaner, too. it started with snide comments, then just straight up making fun of my autism, making fun of who i am, making fun of my sobriety, telling me to shut up and find somewhere else to hang out, etc. its hurtful. its really really hurtful.

i don't see why they do it - i try to not bring up my sobriety often, unless it applies. if they're making plans and they ask me to come, i'll just say no thank you, and wish them to have fun. ask them to send me a few pics! i never make myself seem better for being sober, infact, i feel the complete opposite. i feel like a total fucking loser for it. but i know its for the best. when i try to make plans, i try to make sure itll be something fun for everyone. going to hang out at a park when the weathers nice, seeing a movie, stuff like that. they don't care unless theres drugs or booze.

now, on to the topic of tonights cry session, long overdue: they made plans to go on a roadtrip during an event i begged them to attend for me.

they completely ghosted me while i was asking them to come, expressing interest in the event, practically begging them. i looked so pathetic, and they still didn't care about it. so they made plans for when i very specifically couldn't go.

immediately, everyone responded. when i couldn't even get a response from more than two or three of my closer friends at a time. now all the people i had tried to make plans with without a single text back were talking about how fun it would be.

i really wouldnt mind if they said no to my event, thats very much not the issue. i know it isnt for everyone, but i wanted to share my interests and introduce them to the friends i made through it. my issue was that they were entirely ignoring me. i havent gotten to see most of them in a month, maybe longer. i havent even gotten dignified answers from any of them in ages. they act like i dont exist

i dont want to have to break my sobriety just to have friends, but it feels like at this point its the only way i can get people to want to be around me.

i have friends that do care, but i always feel like the people i want to care the most simply don't. not even my own mom cares. she spent the entire time while i was sobbing to her about it defending them. saying it was my fault i got treated this way. made me feel bad about my own sobriety. i feel like im not even liked by the guy i like. i invest a lot of time and energy into him, but i feel like he just doesn't like me to the extent i like him. it kind of sucks.

i just really, really want to be cared for. i want to be cared for and liked and i want people to want to spend time with me. i hate having to bed. i hate having to make myself weak just for people to reject me over and over and over again. i feel pathetic and sad

i just want anyone real, anyone tangible, who can reach out and touch me, to care about me.

i'm done trying though. if they don't want to care about me, they aren't getting that effort back. i officially resign from my position.

which is a total fucking lie. i can't just make myself stop caring. but i've reached a new low point in my depression about it. i feel useless and lost. i have so many friends online who say they care, but that only goes so far. they cant reach out and touch me. they cant force me to leave me house and hangout. and as much as i love them, as much as id want to, i feel like i waste my life away spending it all online.

i want something real. something i can touch. just for once, please. someone who cares unconditionally. someone who will take care of me the way i take care of them. i want someone to be there for me. im tired

i dont know how much longer i can do this. i feel crazy rambling about it. im crying again and i feel totally dead. like someones already hollowed me out like a grapefruit, blended all my insides then shoved them back in the skins like a pate or something then started eating it spoonful by spoonful

ill find a way out soon, i guess. ill find someone who actually wants to care about me soon, i hope.

[fraener]

3/19/23

yesterday it was 64 out. we’ve nearly gotten past the last frost, there are a few cold nights looming ahead. the day was beautiful and sharp and strange. hans and i had a picnic in the park and while he was out getting a new pair of waders i watched the track house burn, start to nearly finish. the air was heavy with the heat of the day and the fire made a sound like it was crawling. we went back in the night, hans and i, and a few of his coworkers were there watching the last embers leap in the dark. the smoke made us cough and we got weird white stuff on our shoes. the fire department hadnt turned the water main off so everything was flooded. ive been walking so much lately, its helping with everything. i decided not to take that job this summer after all, which of course now im regretting just a bit. i just didnt feel like it was going to be a good environment to work in, they werent being transparent with me about what they were hiring me for through the interviewing process and i didnt like being asked to only teach things that were easily marketable. i dont like a school thats focused on turning a profit rather than providing diverse and unique learning opportunities. plus the pay was going to be shit. i might work for the geoduck farm, but im not fully sure yet. ive been having terrible luck with the grocery shopping, things keep going wrong or something i bring home is off. tonight i spilled my dinner on the floor but i didnt get mad, i just laughed and cleaned it up. i feel a little lighter than usual, i think i feel good. i can feel the writhing worm of anxiety under my surface but i feel good. last night rosie slept next to me in the crook of my body all night long. hans told me this morning that r really didnt like how i carried myself or the fact that i disagreed with her and talked back to her. to her she always found me difficult to control, threatening to her manipulation web and harbored a good amount of resentment for me was incredibly freeing. i dont feel bad about anything ive done now because it doesnt have anything to with me. all of this could have been prevented had she been honest, but she was having a hard time scraping me off, clearly. i ran into amys michael on the street which was a wonderful surprise. ive been reacting poorly to dairy lately, i think all of my allergies are really heightened right now. everything is starting to bloom, the osoberry and the redcurrant and the daffodils and violets are filling the air with pollen and scent. even the plum and cherry trees are opening, slowly but surely. i turned the bed over for spring today, well see if im warm enough. the equinox is tomorrow. the heather gave me a big branch of monkey puzzle tree the other day. i finished up with school for now except my eval meeting. my final critique went well, people liked my work and complimented me a lot on it. one of my classmates said the plate with hans on it looked like it was cracking because the love we had couldnt be contained and it made me cry a little. i love him so much, being with him is helping me heal so much, not being punished for who i am by someone i love is healing me so much. climbing out of the depression, certainly, but not quite there with the anxiety. still have some climbing to go. although things have improved so much in the last year... my intrusive thoughts are much quieter and one track. theyre really only focused on the one thing most of the time, which i am seeing like when im washing the sink and all the gunk gets swished into one little heap headed for the drain trap. were going to work on unburdening in therapy this week a little so i think thatll help. the smell of the rain on the hot pavement today nearly made me cry. actually i did tear up a little, i felt so at peace and unbothered by anything. everything is ringing out a little clearer each time, i am really feeling a return to myself bigger and bigger with each ring. i feel much more comfortable with myself than i did in the voyeuristic relationship i had to myself last year. this year has passed so fast to me in this moment; i feel like everything with o happened so recently. in some ways it did i suppose, only 5 months ago. i want to write more poetry again. i feel like ive woken up from underneath something the last few days, i hope it stays that way. the spring is beautiful. everything is reaching for the light of the sun this year so hard, as if we all felt the quake of my emotions and grief and fear this winter. i was so arrested. i am so close to free now.

[hotch-stufff]

can i get angst 47 with gibbs 👁👁

Bruises

gif is not mine

Paring: Gibbs x Reader

Warnings!: mentions of abuse, angst, crying, comforting, abusive relationship, cursing, mentions of injuries from abuse

Prompt: "You flinched"

-------------

I laid on the ground, not having enough energy to stand up. I couldn't move, and God did it hurt to breathe. Probably a bruised rib, would definitely have some bruises to add to the collection.

Hopefully nothing bad enough to send me to the hospital. The last time I did that, well it was just really bad, and Darren was pissed. So pissed that when we got home, he beat me all over again.

Now I know what you're thinking. What is a federal agent doing staying in an abusive relationship like this? Truth is, I had no idea. At first it was because I thought the beatings would eventually stop, but they didn't. And after realizing they would never stop, I tried to get out. But that only left to another hospital trip and threats. The threats were the only reason that I stayed.

Darren threatened a lot of things. He threatened to beat me so bad I couldn't move. To kill me. But the worst was that he threatened to hurt my team. He knew the whole team, he knew them really well. He worked at NCIS for God's sake, just not on Gibbs team. And that was enough for me to stick around.

Of course, it should be known that it wasn't always like this. Darren was a good guy in the beginning. He brought me flowers and took me out to nice restaurants. He made time for me, and I did the same for him. But then, he didn't get the open spot on Gibbs team. I did. And it all went downhill from there.

The bruises were getting extremely hard to hide. Turtlenecks and long pants were becoming my everyday wardrobe. Which wasnt the easiest thing to work in, but foundation was expensive, and Darren spent most of our money on alcohol or cigarettes. Whatever his weekly fix was. It was ... exhausting. The front I had put up in front of everyone was tearing me down, and people were starting to notice.

Tony and Ziva, who sat closest to me would send me a concerned glance each time I winced when moving. I blamed it on muscle pain, from working out so much.

Abby would see the amount of makeup I was wearing and would ask if I was okay. Of course she just thought I was insecure. She would always tell me that I was bueatiful and that I didn't need makeup. It warmed my heart each and every time she said it.

Palmer was concerned because he had caught one of my bruises. It was on my wrist and my sleeve had rolled up slightly. He had asked about it and I had told him the first lie that popped in my head. That I had fallen. He had taken me straight to Ducky to make sure that it was actually okay. Which is how Ducky got involved.

And then there was Gibbs. Gibbs didn't ask questions, he didn't push for answers, he didn't send me concerned glances. But I was certain he knew something. He didn't know what was actually going on, because he would beat the shit out of Darren if he knew. But he just seemed like he knew something. I knew that if I was going to go to anyone about my "issue", it would be him. Gibbs had been there for me since I had joined the team. And we both had spent plenty of late nights in the office talking. Me, avoiding going home to Darren and him not wanting to go back to his empty house.

Everyone had said that Gibbs was this hard man that never opened up and remained silent most of the time. But boy once he got talking, he never shut up. We talked about eveything. And sometimes nothing, just enjoying each others presence. And if I'm honest, I may have been developing feelings for the guy. But I could never do that, because Darren would probably kill him. And that scared me more than anything.

But life seemed okay. Atleast I was the only one getting hurt.

Of course until it all came crashing down. And it had just been a normal day.

* * *

I sat at my desk, working on and endless stack of paperwork that came with each case. We had just wrapped one up, a good ending thankfully. The team was in high spirits, talking about going out to a bar tonight. But I knew Darren wouldn't have it. I had turned down the offer, instead opting to sit and do paperwork until I had to go home.

Everyone had left for the night, leaving me alone in the bullpen. My hand was a scribbling away, when I had felt the gentle tap of a hand against my shoulder. I should have been more careful, but I had thought it was Darren. So I flinched away from him and crossed my arms in front of my face.

"Y/n?" Gibbs. It was Gibbs. That was it. Just Gibbs. I instantly pulled my arms down and straightened up.

"H-hey Gibbs. What um, what can I do for you." He just stared at me, giving me the usual Gibbs glare.

"You flinched." I grimaced. Of course I did. I didn't want him to find out like this, but I guess this is how its gonna go.

"Um- I, I. Well you see Gibbs-" he cut me off.

"Is someone hittin ya?" He paused thinking, before remembering my oh so lovely boyfriend. "That son of a bitch."

"Wait Gibbs. Its not what you think." But the damage was done. He was going through everything in his mind. My clothes, the grimaces everytime I jerked around, the excuses, the late nights avoiding going home. It all made sense to him now.

"Take off your shirt." My eyes grew wide.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." There was no avoiding this, he wasn't letting me off easily. I took a deep breath before grabbing the bottom of my turtleneck and bringing it over my head. His breath hitched when he saw the bruises that littered my skin.

"My god y/n." He shook his head, running the rough pads of his fingers up and down my arms. "Gonna kill him." And he stood back up, turning quickly before stomping towards the elevator. I slipped my shirt back on and ran after him, but he was already gone. I hurried down to the parking garage and jumped in my car speeding off.

He was gonna kill him. Although who would kill who, I didn't know.

I broke just about every speeding law on the way to my house. When I got there, the door was kicked open and yelling was coming from inside the house.

"Gibbs!" I shouted, running as fast as I could. I walked in the door and gasped. There was glass littering the floor, and picture frames scattered across the ground. I walked further in the house and found them in my kitchen. Gibbs on top of Darren, repeatedly punching him in the face.

"Gibbs! Stop!" I ran to him, pulling him off of Darren. "Stop, he isn't worth it." I pulled Gibbs up by his arm and dragged him away. But he wasn't finished.

"Ya ever go near her again, you're gonna wish you were dead. We'll come back for her stuff, you better not be here when we do." I wanted to cry, to scream, to shout. But I held it in, grabbing Gibbs more forcefully and dragging him back outside.

Once outside, we hopped in his car, and he began driving back to his house. Saying I was grateful was an understatement. Grateful that it was finally over. That maybe I could sleep at night now without worrying about waking up to another beating.

The ride was driven in silence, and soon we were at his house. He got out of the car and walked inside, leaving me out here by myslef. I walked in after him.

I found him in the the kitchen pouring a glass of Bourbon. I came up behind him hugging him.

"Thank you." He froze for a minute before turning in my grasp and brining me into a tight hug. And thats what started the tears. We stood there as I cried into his chest for what felt like forever. Until he finally pulled away and cupped my face.

"Ya didn't deserve any of that. Don't know what happened, or when it started. But ya didn't deserve any of it. You are beautiful and loved and noone should ever have to be treated the way you were." He paused and I began rambling out whatever words came to my mind.

"It was you. I stayed because he threatened you. He said he would hurt you and the team and I couldn't let him." He leaned his forehead against mine. The tears pouring steadily down my face, sobs racking by body.

"Shh, shh. Sweetheart its okay." He leaned in slightly, our lips brushing slightly. And then he leaned in the rest of the way, kissing me into he most gentle way he could. So much different than the bruising kisses that Darren would give me. He broke away after a second.

"Dont know if your ready for it, but I love ya." He said softly. "We can do this, if you want. At your own pace. I just want to show you whats its like to be loved the right way." I nodded.

"I might need some time. But I love you too... Jethro." He smiled.

"Take all the time you need. But m'not leaving your side." I giggled softly as he brought me into another hug. And I stood there whispering thank yous and I love yous until we headed off to bed. I hadn't felt this safe in a long time, and I never wanted to let this feeling go.

-------------

Hope you guys enjoyed this one. I'm really enjoying writing for Gibbs. Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! Im so sorry if I don't get to your request! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

is it okay if I ask for some more nsfw Nayeon x reader content 👉👈 Nayeon has been on my mind alot lately

Im Nayeon x AFAB!Reader x Yoo Jeongyeon (slightly)

Word Count: 2897

Contents: dom!twice, sub!reader, Mommy kink, Daddy kink, fingering, oral (reader giving), nipple play

Note: yet another that is not proofread asjdhajsdkjhakd

[1:26] 

You weren’t thinking too hard. The day had been long, from canoeing for hours, portaging the canoes and carrying supplies, and hiking up to where you were all camping. Then everyone setting up tents and making food. On top of that you had spent the evening drinking. So at this point you were purely vibing.

So when Nayeon took your hand in hers you easily moved closer to her. When she danced with you you moved with her. When she whispered in your ear to follow her to her tent that she and Jeongyeon had set up away from the others you did. And it was no surprise that you were now underneath her, her tongue slipping into your mouth. Her hand was gripping at your waist, pulling your body close to hers as she ground her hips down against you.

“You’re so much fun to play with,” she hummed.

“And you needed entertainment,” you teased.

She grinned against your lips. “You’re more than entertainment.”

“Are you also trying to prove you’re the best in bed?” you chuckled.

Nayeon pulled back enough to look at you. “I don’t have anything to prove. I know I’m better than Hongseok.”

“So it’s a reminder then.”

“I also believe you owe me an orgasm.”

You gently pushed her over until she was under you. “I believe I do.”

“I know I rocked your world and set the bar high,” Nayeon murmured. “So this better be good.”

“What if I’m just bad on purpose?” You chuckled between pressing kisses to her neck.

She threaded her fingers into your hair. “Don’t be a brat.”

“Yes Mommy,” you teased.

Nayeon’s gaze darkened as you started to push her top up. “Don’t say that unless you mean it.” She warned.

“What if I do?” You questioned, pulling her shirt over her head.

“Then say it. Just don’t misbehave.”

You didn’t say anything more as you dipped your lips to her chest. You kissed along her breast, moving the cup of her bra out of the way before taking her nipple between your lips. Nayeon let out a sigh, relaxing back a little but staying propped up with a pillow to watch you.She kept a hand in your hair as you ran your tongue over her nipple.

Your mind turned over the idea of the pet name in your head slowly. You were still drunk, though not as much as you had been. Between Nayeon giving you a bit of water in between dancing and the time since you finished your drinks you could feel yourself sobering up. If you were fully sober you weren't sure if you could handle Mommy, but in this state, it might be fun.

“Mmm, just like that,” she hummed as you pressed kisses across her chest and to her other breast. Your fingers trailed over her skin lightly, running over her stomach, along her sides, and up her breasts, though not to her nipples. Only your lips teased her chest full.

Soft sighs and little moans left Nayeon’s lips. You glanced up at her to see the warm, pink flush, evident on her cheeks even in the darkness of her tent. Her little sounds where sending small thrills of arousal down your spine. 

“That feels good, beautiful,” she murmured, playing with your hair. You hummed against her nipple, listening to and feeling her let out a quick breath at the sensation. Your tongue swirled around her steadily as you fingers teased her.

Slowly she started to squirm a little under you. Her hand tightened its grip in your hair and she pulled you back. You resisted for a moment, trying to suck on her chest just a little more but releeting when she pulled harder.

“I already told you not to be bratty, gorgeous.”

“Of course, Mommy,” you grinned.

“You better hope you do a good job,” she warned.

“Yes, Mommy,” you said, much more sweetly. 

You knew you weren’t trying to be much of a brat, and you thought as much as you started kissing down the center of her stomach. Your tone was much sassier than you meant it to be but it was fun seeing Nayeon getting this worked up. Still, you would do a good job. As much fun as it might be to see her punishments, the experience of her coming on your tongue was far more worth it.

You undid her shorts and pulled them off. Nayeon spread her legs for you, pulling your head in with a hand in your hair. You followed her lead now, focused on finding just what she liked. Your hands came to grip her thighs as you settled between her legs. You left a few stray kisses along her inner thighs.

“Don’t try to tease me.”

“I won’t, Mommy,” you hummed, the word feeling more and more comfortable in your mouth. 

You did as she said now, bringing your tongue out and dragging it slowly through her folds. You couldn’t help the moan you let out at her taste, gripping her thighs just a little more strongly and pressing just a little closer.

Nayeon let out a few quiet moans as you started. Her fingers massaged your scalp soothingly as you moved your tongue. You kept your movements slow and even, flattening your tongue over her clit with each pass,

You kept your gaze on her , watching her face. She ran her free hand through her hair before bringing it back behind her to support her. There was a dusting of pink on her cheeks and her eyelids were heavy as she watched your movements, going between biting her bottom lip between her teeth and letting her mouth hang open in a small o.

Whether she kept it closed or whether it was hanging open her sounds still passed out into the air. Nayeon was never shy about her sounds and as you started to pick up the pace and try different movements over her clit with your tongue she let out increasingly louder moans. You listened for just which movements drew the loudest shroud from her lips, trying to do them again. Your eyes flicked up to meet hers again, more and more lust in her gaze every second.

Her sounds ran through your body. Slowly you were finding yourself more and more wrapped in her. Nayeon was slowly taking over all of your senses as you ate her out. You felt the touch of her soft thighs under your fingertips. The taste of her cunt was on your tongue as you dipped inside her before going back to teasing her clit again, moving just a little faster.

The sweet scent of her body hit your nose with each inhale, mixing with the warm scent of sex that was quickly filling the tent. Each time you looked up you met Nayeon’s hungry, needy eyes. The sight sent more arousal rushing through your body, knowing all of the ideas of just what to do to you running through her head.

The sounds though were the most dizzying. Nayeon’s moans only seemed to get louder and louder. Curses slipped out under her breath. And here and there her “right theres” or “just like thats” sent a shiver through you. Those moans mixed with the lewd, wet noises of your tongue until she was the only thing in your senses as she started to get close to release.

“Mm, just like that, beautiful,” she moaned. Her voice was breathy and the part of your brain that was becoming more and more sober by the minute was glad that she had pitched her tent a little far away from the others.

Her grip in your hair tightened as she started to roll her hips against your face as much as she would allow. You gazed up at her as her head fell back against the mattress, letting her body down against it as well. You felt the tremor that ran through her body as your tongue kept moving, pushing it just a little faster.

You let a hand pull away from her thigh and trailed up her body. Your fingers found her nipple, pinching and rolling it as you ate her out. More curses fell from her lips as she moved them, on the edge of pure bliss.

You moaned against her core, feeling her legs start to press in around your head. Gently, you brought your lips around her clit and sucked on it.

“Oh fuck!” Nayeon let out a cry as she came, thighs squeezing your head as you ran your tongue over your clit with it still between your lips. Your fingers kept playing with her nipple until she stopped your ministrations and started to pull your head away.

“Did I do a good job, Mommy?” You asked, sounding much more genuine than you had before.

Nayeon gave you a grin as she recovered from her blissful state. “That was so good, beautiful,” she cooed, pulling you up closer. 

You gladly kissed her, smiling when she started to tug at your shirt. You let her take it off easily, sighing into her kiss as her fingers trailed over your skin. She reached behind you to take off your bra and you let it fall away. Her hands came up your front, cupping your breasts and slowly playing with them. You pressed into her touch with a moan.

“Are you needy, gorgeous?” She cooed.

“Yes Mommy,” slowly, desperation was welling up inside you. Each time you said it, the word “Mommy” felt better on your tongue. You gripped at her shoulders as she kissed you and played with your chest, all too eager when her hands slipped down and started to undo your shorts. Nayeon chuckled against your lips.

“You’re cute when you get this needy,” she murmured. “I should properly tease you.”

“Mm mm,” you pouted slightly against her lips and she laughed.

“I’ll be nice tonight since you did a good job.” She replied.

You let her pull you shorts and panties down your hips before you eagerly shifted out of them. Nayeon turned you around, sitting you between her legs and pulling your back to rest against her chest. She smoothed her hands over your thighs, pushing them out wider as you leaned back and gripped onto her thighs, feeling impatient.

“Do you want me to touch you?” She teased, knowing full well the answer.

“Please, Mommy,” you moaned. Any apprehension with the word was gone as it rolled off your tongue. You simply wanted her to get you off.

“You’re being so much better now,” she purred in your ear as her fingers drew through your folds. “And you’re so wet for me.” You let out a shaky breath as she gathered your arousal on her fingertips. She brought two fingers to your clit, starting to circle it slowly.

“Fuck,” you sighed, leaning your weight back against her.

“Are you all sensitive from getting me off?” She teased, moving her fingers a little faster as your hips started to chase the sensation even more. 

“Yes,” you breathed. “You sounded so good, Mommy.”

“Where was this sweetness at the beginning?” Nayeon murmured in your ear. “You’re being such an angel for me now.”

“I-I don’t know,” you stumbled as she pressed two fingers inside of you. Her movements made you moan as she quickly found the spot you loved again.

“Just a few warnings and you’re much better behaved,” she cooed.

You let out a moan in response. Her fingers pulled out of your cunt, coated now in your own slick, and she rubbed your clit much faster. The feeling sent bursts of pleasure rushing through your body from your core. You rolled your hips towards the feeling, gripping Nayeon’s thighs as the coil was already curling inside you.

“You pretty thing,” she murmured. “You sound pretty too, even if everyone can hear you when you’re loud like this.”

You buried your face in her neck as much as you could, feeling a sudden wave of shyness. Your brain was filled with much more lust and much less alcohol now. As she thrust her two fingers back inside you you thought about people hearing you. You didn’t want to attract attention. You ever tried to moan too loud, even if the idea of being walked in on gave you a thrill. You knew if you got too quiet she would make you moan louder for her, but you didn’t want to be so loud that the other tents could hear you, even if they weren’t close.

“They won’t hear you,” as if reading your mind, Nayeon whispered in your ear. “You don’t have to get quieter, beautiful. You sound so pretty and I pitched the tent far away. There’s only one person that might hear you.”

With impeccable timing the zipper on the tent undid. You felt embarrassment and a thrill rush through you but as you instinctively tried to close your legs Nayeon pulled her fingers out again, rubbing you clit quickly and making you moan loudly.

“So I am missing a party,” Jeongyeon hummed, climbing into the tent and closing it behind her. You felt your skin start to burn and you squirmed a little in Nayeon’s grasp. You squeezed your eyes shut, still very much turned on from her ministrations. “What a pretty sight.”

The praise made you even more flustered and you whined, peeking at Jeongyeon. She was already giving you a lust filled stare that had you clenching around nothing as Nayeon worked your clit. You gripped tightly at her thighs as Jeongyeon got a little closer.

“I was wondering when you were getting back,” Nayeon chuckled, thrusting two fingers back into your cunt.

“I got caught up,” she grinned. “But I’m missing the fun.”

Nayeon nipped at your ear. “Can Jeongyeon join me to help you finish, beautiful?”

“Y-Yes Mommy,” you whined, still feeling shy but so turned on by the way Jeongyeon was looking at you. She caught your chin, turning your face to look at hers. 

“You can call me Daddy.”

You let out a moan at the rush of arousal that ran through you and Nayeon chuckled as you clenched around her fingers.

“They like that,” she purred, pulling her fingers out. Jeongyeon leaned in to kiss you, pressing two of her own fingers into your heat. You let out a whimper at the new angle and the way she curled her fingers into you a few times. When she pulled them out Nayeon shifted you, helping you onto your knees between them.

“Be good and cum for us,” Nayeon hummed.

“Yes, Mommy,” you replied breathily. Jeongyeon pressed closer. While Nayeon sunk two fingers into your cunt from behind Jeongyeon brought her wet fingers to your clit and starting rubbing it in quick, rough circles.

You let out a cry as you fell forwards against Jeongyeon. Your legs shook from the sensation as the coil in your core curled very tight, pleasure rushing through your system from their motions. Curses fell off your lips and you squeezed your eyes shut, holding onto Jeongyeon.

A cry left your lips as you came, clenching around Nayeon’s fingers as they curled into you quickly. Your legs supporting you could hardly pull closed and you squeezed your eyes shut as pleasure crashed over your senses.

Jeongyeon wedged her thigh next to yours as you started to come down from your high. Your body trembled and you whined from the sensitivity. You felt Nayeon lean in near your ear. 

“You were a bit bratty earlier.”

“Bratty?” Grinned Jeongyeon. “Then you need to do a little something to make up for it.”

You whined and pressed your face against her neck. You body was sensitive and their motions were relentless, but they already felt so good again.

“I think giving us one more orgasm would be fair,” Nayeon said.

“What do you think?” Jeongyeon asked.

“I-I can- That-”

“You didn’t forget your manners, did you?”

“N-No, no Daddy,”  you moaned. “F-Fuck, please.”

You felt your eyes roll back as Nayeon pressed a third finger into your heat. Jeongyeon changed the movement of her fingers, and pressed more roughly into your clit. You let out needy, whiny moans against her neck as the sensation became nearly overwhelming. All of your breaths were shaky and short as the slight pain mixed with rapidly mounting pleasure until you fell over your edge.

All concern for people hearing you fell away as you nearly screamed out while you came hard on Nayeon’s fingers. Stars burst behind your eyes and your body shook violently as you collapsed all your weight against Jeongyeon. You rode out your high on their fingers until your body couldn’t take another second.

They both gently pulled their hand from between your legs. You couldn’t get your eyes open but you felt them lay you down. Nayeon and Jeongyeon snuggled in on either side of you, holding you securely and petting you sweetly.

“You did so well,” Nayeon hummed.

“You look so cute when you cum,” Jeongyeon smiled. “No wonder why everyone wants some alone time with you.”

You hide your face shyly in her chest and they both chuckled.

“That was really okay?” You asked shakily and they pressed kisses to your face in response.

“It was wonderful,” Nayeon reassured you.

[spadeslittlesecret]

DARLING

1 8 +

Summary: Nanamis little girl was waiting for him to come home, he gives his girl a gift

TW: breeding kink, degrading, Dacryphilia

Nanami (dom!) X y/n (fem¡)

A/N: Hello everybody, thank you so much for liking my recent sakusa x y/n smut, i hope you all like it i tried to change things up a bit and even added a summary. so here we are pls enjoy!

It has been nearly two weeks without Nanami, he has been gone for a very important buisness trip. You’re proud of him, he worked hard for the both of you so he can make you happy. You were waiting for him to come home tonight, he was supposed to come at ten but now its nearly midnight, your eyes began to be itchy and heavy.

But you were already unpatient the thought of him ramming you from behind and making your pink swollen lips on his. Your hands were itchy to pleasure yourself by the thought of him, so you decide to pull your silk chemise up to your waist and bring two fingers to your panties moving circular motion to please your ache of your pretty pink clit, but that wasnt enough the thought of Kento’s fingers pleasuring your insides and hitting the sponge spot that makes you go crazy. You push down your panties and lean back on your elbow the other pushing two fingers down your folds then inserting it in your hole curling it trying to find the spot you’ve yearned for. Your back were arching, head tilted back, the strap of your chemise were falling down your shoulders giving a peak of your breast.

“K ken to~” sweet moans comming from your mouth, yearning for him wanting him inside of you. Your hands were going limp and tired, tears flowing down your face “kento~” the pleasure wasnt enough, you needed more of him. Laying limp on the bed your head spins like crazy, the smell of him were filling the air but you thought it was just your thought, soon you heared footsteps comming in your room “Sweet heart im home, im sorry im late” he opens the door to find you half naked with your chemise on your waist and the strap falling half exposing your breast.

He frooze to see a sight for his sore eyes, his pretty girl was lying on the bed, “kento..” a frail voice comes out of your mouth crying and wanting for Nanami as your hands were touching your stomach as you try to soothe your ache and hunger for him, gosh he cant stand watching you crying like that and yearning for him on the bed, it made his member twitch, a groan was let out by him.

“You were waiting all along werent you?” he touched you to wake you up, your eyes were blinking trying to rub it you thought is this the real him? Is he really touching me? He pulls you closer to him placing your nose to the crook of his neck, he kissed your cheeks to taste the salty tears you were pouring out for him, slowly he kisses down to your neck. A hum was let out by you “kento.. need you” you cupped his cheeks to make eye contact with him “please kento” your eyes glazed with tears, of course he cant resist the way you cry for him.

The way you begged and cried for him, the way you sat on his lap and the way your pussy was grinding on his buldging member thats growing under his pants made him groan, he was so eager to please you with his large cock thats going to break you. “Be a good girl and stay still” he unzips his pants and throwing it on the floor somewhere in the room, you pulled down his boxers to expose a long cock flowing out with precum, he throws you over on the bed on your back making you look at him. He rubbed his long cock along your folds spreading precum all around you “yeah, you want it?” He huffed at you, you were nodding impatiently waiting for him to fuck you.

He holds down your waist while aligning his tip to the entrance of your pretty hole that was already loosen up by your fingers earlier, his dick was now inside of you “ahh kento fuck me please” he starts to throb slowly in and out of you “look at you, your such a slut for my cock,yeah?” “Mmhm yea-AH!” He pushes harder into you making you pant and moan like a dog in heat “fuck, your going to be filled with my babies” your tounge were lolling out drool was all over your chemise your eyes were in the back of your skull, your legs clenching tightly around his waist and nails digging on his back grabbing on for dear life. He pulls down both of your chemise straps exposing your breast kissing it slowly and playing your nipples with his tounge, your sences were filled with his cologne and sweat “Do tou want to make daddy proud sweetheart?” “Y yes” stuttering as you try to asnwer him.

“Then take it well fuck for me” his hips were moving fast and sloppy as his tip was near your cervix “im gonna make you babies y/n” your breast were jiggling up and down and toes were curling up “ahh kento~” your moans made him even closer to orgasm. Not long after he painted your walls with white cum you felt full after he gave you all his cum to give you babies.

[starconsumer444]

“When Things Fall In Place” (18+)

Creepy Roommate!Kenma

(A/N: This is...about 3.1k of pure degeneracy, which I actually had no intention on writing, finishing, or publishing and just thought out as I went... There was no planning, no actual ideas prior to this {actually its based off this guy I met recently because im always stuck with the creeps}...I just started it late at night [basically the early hours of the morning] and finished it this afternoon. I haveeee to stop writing for haikyuu... But I’m probably gonna fall off, comeback and write one or two request with a bunch of other random bs, and then disappear again after this, but thats just how it is. I get bored of writing every three days then come back to write my heart out. I really have to write my requests soon or they’ll hate me...) 

(Cw/Tw: Fem!Reader, Stalking, Somno, Rape/Noncon,  Virgin!Kenma, Theft, Crying, Poor Writing, Kenma is a sweaty, friendless, looser in this one guys, I’m bad at tagging these but you get the idea... this is bad and nasty. 3.1k!!!! THIS IS LONG AS HELL)

You don’t know much about him, Kenma— your roommate. You’ve been living together for almost a year at this point and that can’t be normal. He stays in his room playing video games, doesn’t seem to have friends, leaves for work in the morning, and keeps to himself for the most part. Honestly, if you didn’t greet each other in passing you would’ve forgotten the sound of his voice by now. It’s low, unaffected, and monotone for the most part. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be bothered?

But see, Kenma knows everything about you. You went to middle and high school together, but he was just as standoffish in those days too. He doesn’t expect you to remember him, you clearly don’t, but it still weighs on his heart. Was he that forgettable? It’s okay, because one day he’ll tell you. One day he’ll tell you everything.

He’s been obsessed with you since middle school, you were the pretty girl that sat in the front of the class and smelled so good. You would talk to give answers in class and he would be all ears, because to him your voice was his only source of happiness. To hear you speak and smell your perfume as you walked past him was a reason to live. Sure, it was weird, but so were a lot of things about him. He had no friends, could you blame him? Would you?  So maybe, then, in middle school it was an innocent harmless crush, not an obsession, but in high school he was definitely obsessed. 

He overheard you say it to your friends— where you were going to high school, and he told his parents thats where he wanted to enroll. The entire time he never spoke to you, much like middle school, he was off in a corner playing a game alone, inconspicuously keeping an eye on you. He used to trail you and your friends around the school and he always wondered how you were so perfect? How you were so good at making friends? How you stood out like that? Maybe that’s why you were so unapproachable... 

He remembers you were class president for three consecutive years up until graduation. You were so damn intimidating, but everyone loved you, especially Kenma and you were blind to it. You never ONCE noticed him or gave a damn about him and you were class president. He wanted to talk to you so bad, but he just couldn't. He would steal things from you with the intent to say he found them and maybe start a conversation, but he ended up hoarding them in his room at home. The biggest thing he’d stolen was a sweater because you hadn’t seemed to notice the erasers or pencils. 

He vividly remembers the sheer panic and urgency he stuffed that damned pink sweater into his backpack with, so scared he’d get caught and called a creep. He really did plan on returning it but he just— it smelled so good back then...he remembers. He took it home and hid it under his bed, only opting to take it out and hold it to his face and just smell it on special occasions when he felt up to it and guilt wasn't taking over his mind, body, and soul. He knew it was wrong but he felt the most alive in moments where he didn’t care. He’d tried to resist the urge, but at some point he started to pleasure himself with it too. It started happening so often that he’d get hard at the smell of you even when you walked by him in class. He still has that sweater.

At some point during that time, he’d picked up the strange hobby of following you home from school. You walked alone all the time so he’d lie to himself and say it was for your safety as he stalked around corners and made sure you never saw him. He’d always watch you enter your home from down the block, far enough so he wouldn't catch your attention. Those times he didn’t want you to notice him, he felt sick doing it, but it was something akin to an addiction and he just couldn't stop himself. This was a short lived addiction though...about a month or so. 

His mom started to pick up on his staying out later than usual and by then he’d actually started to go up in front of your house and just stare at it. He prayed to god that you didn’t see him being a creep like this, but sometimes he wished you did because at the very least you would recognize his existence. Still, you never saw him. He went back to being locked up in his room, playing video games until the early hours of the morning, rubbing himself raw against your sweater, and being consumed by you in private. All he wanted was for you to acknowledge him. Tell him that he exists to you, because he’s sure his existence is for you.

Those days were hell on earth, he struggled to shower and his only motivation for getting up and doing anything was to see you, who didn't know he existed. It was a depraved cycle. 

Now he’s here with you, and the first time he talked to you was to respond to a “roommate wanted” ad. Isn’t it wonderful how things come full circle? 

Still, he struggles to actually hold face to face conversations with you. How could he? He fantasizes about you so much...it feels wrong.

These days he finds himself rutting into your sheets when you're out praying that you don’t catch him, stealing your panties just to hold them to his nose and eventually soak them in his cum, and even worse having disgustingly sadistic fantasies about you belonging to him. He pushes those fantasies to the back of his mind, though. He doesn't want to be fucked up, but then again, it can't be that bad to want to own your source of happiness.

His infatuation reaches a peak one night when he finds himself groggily trudging his way to your room in the dead of night with his fleshlight in hand. He tried everything, he didn't want to jack off so he played his video games like usual, but even that didn’t take his mind off of you. Typically, he’d jack off with his fleshlight alone in his room to depraved and deluded fantasies of you, but tonight he needs to be near you; to see you, to smell you, and to know you’re there.

Upon entering your room he flips the light on, and it’s actually really dim— not that he hoped to wake you up or anything. He tip-toes over to the side of your bed and stands over your sleeping figure. You look so beautiful when you’re asleep, a shame he’s never thought about seeing you like this before or rather...a shame he’s violating you like this. He wants himself to stop because he knows it’s wrong, but he’s wanted something like this for so long and right now it’s in the palm of his hand. He’s sick and he knows it.

Still, he pulls his sweats and underwear down just enough to where they’re right under his balls. The cold air of your ceiling fan hits his painfully hard shaft and it feels so good it makes him sick. He slowly sheaths himself inside the faithfully used toy imagining it was you. That’s even easier to do now that you’re right here in front of him.

His heart is racing, and he feels sick to his stomach...

“Gotta make this quick,” That’s what he says under his breath, but he want’s you to wake up and see him, he want’s you to call him a pervert and make him leave you alone forever. He wants to see you horrified by the sight of him pleasuring himself to your sleeping body. Is that so wrong?

Yeah, he knows it is. He can’t bring himself to care, though. He pumps himself in and out with hurried movements. He feels so gross and so good like this. Even with the fan on above him he’s sweating bullets like a madman, but he just can’t stop himself, he swears this isn’t his fault. His rational mind would never permit this, but when has he ever gone with that side of himself?

He starts to lose himself in pleasure, moaning out your name in his typical low voice rather than a whisper. He doesn't catch himself, and his moans start to get louder and louder. You start to stir and he can’t bring himself to shut up. You can’t be that light a sleeper, right? 

Wrong.

Your eye’s flutter open and then meet his and he cums unreasonably hard and his moan is gross and loud. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and he doubles over from the pleasure. His hand grabbing on to your mattress is the only thing keeping him from hitting the floor.

His heart pounds in his chest and his breathing is erratic, but that’s not why the look in your eye’s is nothing but terror. He's sweating so much, he wants to apologize, but he doesn't.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He says sliding the toy off of himself. He thinks you look even more beautiful when you’re awake and scared out of your mind. 

You lie there, staring up at him, still trying to process how your aloof roommate could—

He climbs on your bed, fleshlight in hand, and straddles your waist and all you can bring yourself to do is shake your head.

“Kenma-” He presses his index finger to your lips and you freeze again.

Suddenly, he’s bringing the fleshlights opening to your mouth and you still can’t bring yourself to fight him.

“Please go away,” You ask like this is just some nightmare. You know it’s not, you can feel his weight on top of you and it feels too real. He’s so warm and so heavy.

“Lick.” He commands. He swears to himself that he’ll go away forever after this, the final piece to his happiness puzzle.

Tears start to fall down your face but he’s still insistent on having you eat his cum out of his gross plaything. When you don’t move, he leans over and presses it to your face.

“Lick.” 

This time, out of fear, you do. His cum tastes rancid, like battery acid. Disgusting would be more than an understatement. That doesn’t stop you from cleaning the toy with your tongue like your like depends on it, because right now...it might.

His eyes are tired when he smiles, almost dead, he looks sick. His hairs greasy, skin is pale, and he’s fisting his half hard dick while he watches you take his seed into your pretty mouth. You’ve never been this close to him before.

He strokes himself back to hardness like a delinquent. He knows he wants to leave you alone, but now he just can’t. When he tosses the fleshlight aside you’re shaking and crying begging him to go away.

“Kenma, please-” As much as he likes when you say his name, he can’t help but stifle your desperate begging with a kiss. 

It’s gross, wet, and all over the place, but Kenma doesn’t notice that. He’s never kissed anyone before and he’s beyond ecstatic that it’s you. You don’t bother with kissing him back, you just lie there, eyes open and crying. 

He savors this kiss, his first kiss. His lips are softer than expected, but he’s not— violence plagues his movements. His heart races even faster now, and when you try to turn your lips away from his he just grabs your jaw and holds you still. He gets drool all over both of your faces, and you can barely breathe. You can still feel him jacking himself off between your bodies and you feel nauseous. This “kiss” is so unpracticed and unrefined, he’s basically licking the inside of your mouth and breathing in your face.

Why is he doing this?

You feel him finally moving from your lips and pulling your shirt up to let cold air hit your tits. For a second, he pauses to catch his breath, chest heaving and spit covered mouth hanging open. He stares down at your chest in awe. You turn away in embarrassment, he doesn’t mind it; you must be terrified.

With one hand holding your shirt up, he brings the other from his dick to squeeze at your chest. You wince and struggle against him because he’s so fucking rough and it hurts. Then he gives one of your breasts a hard slap, and you start to writhe up under him. 

It brings a smile to his face, but he doesn’t do it anymore. He wants to try something different.

He carefully slides down off of you and between your legs. He grossly presses his face against your clothed cunt and smells you even licking you through your pajama bottoms.

He sees the shock on your face when you sit up to look at him and he simply brushes it off, too far gone to be considerate at this point.

When his hands pull down your pajama bottoms-

“No no no no nononono Kenma please stop it.” You whine and kick at him uselessly. You sit up to try to push his hands away but its all useless, he’s so unreasonably strong for someone his size. When he finally slides your pajama bottoms and underwear off of you and on to the floor he buries his face between your folds.

It’s like when he was kissing you, gross, wet, and unpracticed. He’s just haphazardly lapping at your labia and vulva. You push at his shoulders trying to get him off of you while crying your eyes out. It doesn’t seem to effect him though, he just locks his arms around your thighs, sliding you down onto your back. 

At some point his tongue washes clean over your clit and he feels your body jolt from the pleasure. He finds it again and your body stiffens. He looks up at your crying face and squeezes the meat of your thighs between his fingers as he abuses your clit to no end.

You’re sobbing at this point because to you this all feels without reason. For the first time in your life you are scared of Kenma. From what you remember of him, he was always voiceless and sweet, even during school when he decided to show up. He was a kid who always greeted the teacher, even if it was wordless, he got his work done on time when he could, and he minded his business. You never talked to him, but you did hold his understated presence in the back of your mind— for the longest you pegged him as a boy who could be pleasant if you got to know him. So, why was he doing this? Why is he hurting you?

You made him your roommate because you thought that he of all people wouldn’t do this. You wanted to be friends. What did you do?

Now he’s violating you after a year of little to no interaction and him being barely there. He knows it’s wrong and you're not fighting him anymore, you’re just laying there, chest heaving and silent.

He lifts his head to plant a wet kiss on your inner thigh and drags his tongue against the soft skin momentarily. He looks at your scared face and gives a crooked smile. He’s sorry, he really is but this feels like a dream to him. You're too good not to take. 

He finds himself positioning his dick right between your folds and rutting against you. You really must’ve given up, your fight is long gone as he holds you down by your pelvic bones—uncut nails breach your soft skin.

Excitement fills his body as your wetness begins to coat his length as he rocks himself back and forth. He’s careful and his breathing is labored.

“I-” He tries and fails. “You never noticed me, but I’ve loved you forever.” He’s shy. Kenma looks down at your stomach, too embarrassed to meet your crying eyes. 

“We went to school together for years...” He trails off, still staring down. He doesn’t have the guts to look at the mess he’s made of you. “I wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn’t like- no. I was scared.” He shakes his head softly and finally meets your eyes. You're still crying. He feels his throat tighten and he doesn't want to talk anymore.

“Don’t look at me like that!” He stops his movements to reach over and pull the pillow from behind you. He puts it over your face and thinks to hold it there, maybe to suffocate you for a second, but he doesn't. He’s already done enough bad. He just lets it sit there, you’re the one to grab it and hold it there. 

You hold it against your face like your life depends on it. You can't breathe very well, but what does it matter? You want him to go away.You want this to end. So, you cling onto that pillow and pretend like you’re anywhere but here.

It’s an illusion that fails quickly. You feel him press his length into you. It’s rushed, it hurts, and he doesn't know what he’s doing. You squeeze the pillow, and his sweaty hands play with your tits. You can feel the tears well up in your eyes. You don’t want this, it’s a nightmare.

He’s not that big, rather small actually, but he has girth. He hopes you can feel it. He moves slowly dragging every inch of himself against your walls. He mouths at your nipples and it feels yucky. At some point you’re sure you feel him lay a wet kiss on your stomach.

You don’t know. It’s over quickly, but it feels like forever.

 His thrusts were sloppy and unseasoned just like everything else he’s done. He’d never had sex before, but he hoped he was good. When he came his body seized and his fingers dug into your sides. He was glad you weren't watching because the embarrassment from coming so fast a second time was much easier to handle. 

You two sit in silence for a while after that, the only audible sound is you sniveling. He watches silently as your body shakes and tucks himself back in, to at least feel decent. It’s like that for five whole minutes until he finally decides to go back to his room. 

In the silence of his own dark room the water works start in full force as he comes to terms with what he’s done. He’s a degenerate who will struggle to sleep tonight.