#but im done with the grease hole

[kelly-danger]

I think the weed-withdrawl-mania-not-sleeping-last-night and anxiety cocktail really made for an exhilarating call when I asked to put my two weeks in today

[slamminslamminmcgill]

MAN I LOVE UR WRITING I NEED MORE JIMMY MCGILL NOWWW!!!!! that’s unhinged im so sorry

anyways if ur still taking requests i beg u to write smthn abt Goodman helping a client (client is transmasc and tatted and pieced as fuck (me)) with weed possession and he wins the case cus he’s Saul Goodman obviously. after they celebrate with a joint and they have some nasty high sex. like imagining Saul coughing on a joint and being like “damn kid this shit’s strong.. let’s fuck” makes me shensudbwjwbs 🙏🙏

anyways have a good day/night man, congrats on graduating!!! :))

HIIIII im also tatted and pierced so this is personal 2 me 😌🖤 kinda took the piercing idea and ran with it teehee

didn’t wanna describe any specific tattoos but i included some piercing mentions (nipples, septum, tongue, vch for plot relevance >:3c)

this is also way longer than a usual drabble so plbbbbbt

warning: intox kink (weed), light degradation

anatomical terms: clit/dick/cock, pussy, hole

“In light of this new evidence, the court has decided to drop all charges against the defendant.”

Slam dunk. Saul did it again. He’d managed to convince the judge that the cop who arrested you for marijuana possession had conducted an illegal search. He got you off. You were grateful that you wouldn’t have this looming over your head for the rest of your life. So grateful, in fact, that you hugged him as soon as you two stepped out of the courtroom.

“Ah, don’t mention it, kid. Least I could do for you.” He smiled and patted your back. He’d actually taken quite a liking to you while working on your case. You reminded him of his Slippin’ Jimmy days back in Chicago. A naïve 20-something with an affinity for pot and a less than stellar relationship with the law. He hoped he could steer you on the right path, and maybe have some fun with you too. “Say, you’re actually my last client for today. You wanna grab some food with me or something? Maybe Peter Parker’s girlfriend could join us.”

You snorted. Mary Jane. That was your code for inviting each other to smoke, which ironically you'd done frequently while working on your case. You pushed yourself off his chest and smiled up at him. “Sure. I’d like that.”

You two sat in the parking lot of Los Pollos Hermanos hotboxing his luxury car, passing a joint back and forth with greasy fingers. You took a bite of your sandwich, and a glob of chipotle mayo fell onto your nice, clean dress shirt.

"Aw, man." You groaned, before remembering you didn't need to impress anyone anymore. You shrugged, "Eh, whatever," and untied your tie, no doubt getting chicken grease all over the fabric. Then, you unbuttoned and untucked your ruined shirt, wiped the mayo off with a napkin, and tossed it behind you, leaving you in a tank top undershirt with your arm tattoos exposed. "God, I hate wearing long sleeves. I don't know how you can wear full suits in weather like this. Feel like I'm suffocating."

"You get used to it." Saul laughed and cranked the A/C for you. "I just wasn't sure if the judge would appreciate your ink as much as I do. Wanted to make sure you had the 'perfect little darling' look, y'know? Some people are close-minded like that. Least you don't have to anymore." He passed you the joint. His eyes trailed up your forearms to your chest, where he saw two barbells poking through your shirt. "Woah, hey! You got your high beams on! I'm surprised you didn't set off the metal detector with those!"

You had no idea what he was talking about, "Huh?", until your eyes followed his and you looked down. "Oh! Oh yeah, I figured I wouldn't have to take those ones out."

"Well, they look good on you. Not a lot of dudes can pull them off." Saul took a sip of his drink, ice sloshing as he put it down in the cup holder. "How many piercings you got, anyway?"

You ran through your list nonchalantly. “Not counting the ones on my ears, I have four. Septum, tongue, both nipples, and-“ You stopped yourself short and froze. The other piercing was a VCH. Vertical clit hood. If you told him that, you’d be outing yourself. You decided the best move was to say nothing else. He was a smart guy. Let him figure it out.

And he did. “Oh, ho! Naughty boy! You got a Prince Albert or something?" He elbowed you. "Chicks must be ALL over you."

You grimaced, hoping it looked like a nervous smile. "Not exactly..."

"Hm. Tell you what." Saul lit the joint, hit it, and passed it to you. "I'll buy you an eighth if you show me."

You nearly dropped the joint on your leg when he said that. "What?! Are you serious?!"

"Dead serious! I wanna know if I'm missing out! Maybe I should get one." You anxiously took a puff as he spoke with confidence. Confidence that was unwarranted; he had no clue what he was getting into. "Look, I got a guy and his stuff is the shit. It'll be worth it, I promise. You just whip it out, lemme see, put it back, and I'll hook you up. Hell, I'll even knock some off the money you owe me."

You did the cost benefit analysis in your head. Free weed plus less debt to your lawyer, and all you have to do is show him your pussy? Would it really be so bad? He really wasn't the judgmental type. He'd definitely ogle, but surely he'd understand. You sighed. "Okay. I'll do it." You took one more hit of the joint and passed it to him before you unbuckled your belt. "Just so you know, though, it's probably not what you're expecting."

Saul scoffed. "Kid, I've seen a lot of crazy things in my day. Unless your dick has a radio antenna sticking out of it or something, I think I can handle it."

You ignored his sass and worked on undressing yourself. You slid your pants off, and crossed your legs so he wouldn't see the lack of bulge in your underwear. Then, you looked over at him. "Ready?"

"Ready." He answered smugly.

You uncrossed your legs and tugged your underwear down. Your clothes pooled around your ankles, and you kicked your shoes off to free yourself. Now for the reveal. You turned your body to face him, scooted forwards, and opened your legs, hooking one behind the driver's seat, and the other propped on the dashboard. You spread your lips and showed him your, rather unconventional, dick piercing. The metal barbell stared him right in the face, and he stared back, mouth agape.

"Oh my god..."

You could see the gears turning in his head. His eyes flicked back and forth from your junk, to your face, and then back to your junk. For a man who loved the sound of his own voice, it was rare for him to be left truly speechless, but you'd done it. It was honestly quite the confidence boost.

You smirked. "Well? Is it everything you hoped for?"

"Yeah... Yeah it is..." He answered breathlessly. His mind was screaming at him not to fuck this up.

"Got anything to say? Any questions, comments, or-"

Saul butted in the middle of your sentence. Apparently, he did have something important to say. "Can I touch it?" He blurted out.

You knew exactly where this was going, and you were gonna enjoy the ride. "Sure, go for it." You took the joint and the lighter from him, leaving his hands free to explore.

Saul leaned over and brushed his hand against your skin, not fully making contact with the piercing just yet, essentially just rubbing his fingers up your slit. He was taking his time. He was warming you up. "This is... This is incredible. God, you're... you're really something else kid."

You took a hit of the joint and sighed on the exhale. From his gentle touch and praise to the haze of the weed, you were plenty warm already. Once he thought the same, he pressed his thumb against the barbell and flicked it up. Your whole body jolted and you gasped. "Ah!"

"You alright?" He asked, not pulling his hand away. He kept it firmly in position, ready to strike again.

"Y-Yeah, just-" He did it again, "Ngh... just be careful it's-" and again, "ah... it's sensitive..." and again.

He chuckled. "I can tell. Is that why you got it? You like the extra stimulation?"

"Mhm..." You nodded.

"Heh... slut." He pressed his thumb down hard and rubbed you in quick circles. "Keep smoking. I'm gonna have fun with you."

"O-Okayyy..." You whimpered and lit the joint while he teased you, watching him with wanting eyes as you climbed higher and higher. The smoke left your body and carried a sigh of pleasure out with it.

Keeping his thumb on your cock, he scooped his other fingers down and prodded at your hole. "Aw, look at you. You're already wet for me? That's precious." He slipped two inside without resistance, cooing to you as he pumped them in and out, savoring your pathetic whines and tremors. "Oh, now that's a good boy. C'mon, take another hit."

You took another drag, and while your lungs were full of smoke, he shot his fingers up against your g-spot. You moaned for half a second before choking on your hit. You coughed and waved the smoke out of your face, scrambling for some semblance of composure. "You dick! You did that on purp-ohhh..."

Saul kept working his hand, laughing at how easy it was to shut you up. "Yeah. Yeah, I did, but don't act like you don't love it." He leaned in and kissed your cheek before whispering right to you, making sure you could hear him over your own body. "Hear that? Hear how wet you are for me? That's how I know you love it. Whore." He tilted your face towards him and caught you in a kiss. You let his tongue invade your mouth and take what he wanted, a trail of spit connected you two as he broke off. "You like getting filled up, huh, boy?"

Your voice was a high-pitched, desperate whine. "Y-Yes..."

"Yeah? I bet you like getting fucked in your tight little pussy, too, is that right? You like it when a big, strong, man puts his cock in you and uses you like a cheap sex doll?"

Another slam dunk. He was right on the money. "Yes! Yes! Oh, fuck, yes!"

He flashed a sinister grin. "Good boy." He pulled his hand out of you and went for his own belt. He yanked his pants down, showing off a noteworthy tent in his boxers. You didn't get much of a look before those were off too, but the sight of what was underneath was far better. "Gimme the joint." He demanded as he stroked his cock in preparation.

You'd do anything he said. You handed him the joint and the lighter without a second thought.

"Good boy." He took a hit and blew the smoke in your direction. "So," He took a second to cough, "what you're gonna do is you're gonna sit on my cock and bounce that pretty little ass of yours on it. You think you can do that?"

There were no words left in your mind. You were an animal, acting purely on instinct. He gave the order, and immediately you climbed into his lap, bumping into the steering wheel a few times as you tried to situate yourself. Saul offered no assistance, he just continued with the joint. Fortunately, you managed to get into position without help, and you sunk down onto his cock.

"Oh! Oh my-Mmph!"

He used your wide open mouth as an opportunity to shotgun you. He blew the smoke into you and let it fill the parts of your body that he couldn't reach. You gripped his shoulders and squeezed him like you were trying to pop him. When he pulled back, you dropped your head onto his shoulder and whined.

"There we go. You feel so good, baby boy." He kissed your head and rubbed your back, comforting you as you settled into him. "Now," He yanked you up by your hair to look him in the eyes.

"Hold on tight. Cause I'm gonna take you for a ride..."

[daftpatience]

how would one get into fountain pens and inks ?? i’ve never liked using those 50 pens for a dollar types and only used fountain pens at school . honestly i’d love if you infodump at me about your favs pens, inks and how the tiktoks only show those glass pens with the swirls that slowly drip off ink and not any love for pens that hold ink themself

yaa sure!! and firstly i wanna say the reason you see a lotta glass dip pens on tiktok is simply because they are pretty and people think they are cool. dip pens have a lot of neat benefits of their own! dont let the bad app make u bitter abt em! (for example dip pens let you use a muuch wider range of inks made out of pigments that a fountain pen couldn't handle!)

but i digress. getting into fountain pens usually starts with an affordable one! (or a fancy hand me down if you're lucky!) jetpens & gouletpens are good shops to find fountain pens, and you may be lucky enough to live near a stationery shop that carries them, who knows!

generally good pens to start with are cheap enough that you won't feel too bad if it doesn't turn out to be your favourite but still a smooth writer. they should feel good in the hand and be refillable (since we are talking about avoiding disposable pens! but disposable fountain pens do exist.) generally these pens are in the $10-$30 range, but some cheaper pens like the platinum preppy and jinhao shark will surprise you!

especially worth taking into account with starting to get into pens is the nib size and filling mechanism!

nib size:

fountain pens generally come in Extra Fine, Fine, Medium, Broad, and Double Broad nib sizes, although there are other fancy ones like stub, flex, cursive, and left handed ones. (i am left handed and don't use them, so don't worry too much about that if you are.)

generally western nibs run a little broader than Japanese nib sizes, so keep that in mind when choosing a pen!

personally i find that finer nibs are more useful for me drawing-wise, and i enjoy broader nibs for writing (especially since i tend to draw in black and write in pretty colours i want to see more of!) this just applies to me of course ^u^

filling mechanisms:

fountain pens can come with ink cartridges (sometimes universal and sometimes proprietary) which tend to be a good choice for folks that like mess-free easy ways to reink a pen even when you're out and about. they do limit your selection of inks, though!

cartridge pens can usually be converted to piston fill/squeeze fill pens with a compatible converter, and some even come with one by default (like the jinhao shark!) some fountain pens (like TWSBIs) have a piston fill mechanism integrated into the entire barrel. (they have a very big ink capacity!) these converters/pens allow you to use any fountain pen ink you like, and also help make pen cleaning easier as you can take up and flush out water with it.

another type of fountain pen is eyedropper fill - where the entire barrel is watertight and you simply fill it with ink via eyedropper (or god forbid just pouring the ink from the bottle into it lol) these kinds of filling mechanisms are a lot messier and are generally done at home since you might not wanna bring ink bottles and paper towels along wherever you go, especially if they're big. some pens can be converted to eyedropper fill by making the barrels watertight with silicone grease on the threads & plugging any breather holes.

fun fact! ink cartridges are much more popular in europe, and bottled inks are more popular in america. idk why!

in terms of my favourite fountain pens, i very much like the TWSBI ECO/ECO T, LAMY safari, platinum preppy/plaisir, kaweco sport, and jinhao shark! they're all great and come in lots of fun colours and i want more twsbis so bad aaa

ok this is getting long but lets talk about inks!! im dying to talk about inks can we talk about inks

i already went over the difference between pigment and dye based inks here, so let's talk about what to think of when choosing an ink and also some of my favs!!

picking out an ink for your pen should consist of at least 3 factors!

make sure you are looking for fountain pen ink! (drawing inks & dip pen inks will clog a fountain pen!)

what colour do you want!!! (as a tip, light colours look even lighter when reduced to the fine line of a pen, and can sometimes be rather disappointing or hard to see. stick to broader nibs for those!)

do you need it to be water and/or highlighter proof?

most online shops let you filter to find what you're looking for, and most irl shops have sample cards for you to look through (while they may not show you about the waterproof part, generally the people working there should be able to tell you about it! most of the shops ive been to are staffed by fellow enthusiasts!)

aside from that you really can go nuts! there are inks with shimmer, inks that are suuuper bold and solid, some that vary in shade (and hue!) and some that develop a metallic sheen around the edge!

as for my favourite inks, i really like these and heres why!

pilot iroshizuku: they have some REALLY pretty colours. plus the bottles are big and very pretty!

Diamine: these inks come in some absolutely luscious colours (and TONS of sparkly shimmery options) and are known for being very consistently good performers across all their colours.

sailor: these inks are fancy and preddy and smell good to me wehehe

j. herbin: they make a green i really like >:) and also are popular for being good inks im pretty sure!

special extra shoutout to ferris wheel press: i havent actually gotten an ink from them i truly love yet (ive only ever tried a sample set of pastels and i like my inks darker) but their bottles are truly to die for.

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR COMING!! TO MY TED TALK!!! im fully info dumped out!!!! whee!

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

Spinach Asparagus Risotto

OKAY SO @tinpotterror (WHY WONT TUMBLR EVER LET ME TAG U ILL JUST SEND IT TO U)

the first thing to cover is that recipes, like real recipes in cookbooks, have been tested and written carefully, thought about and shit

I'm going to do none of that because the few recipes I have written are so full of shorthand to be illegible to anyone else, and they're only for baking

but I start with the things I need to do before you ever get the shallots for the 'sotto going

the chicken was just chicken thighs with salt pepper oil chili powder and onion powder, cooked on 400 until done and then set to the side. i nuked it in the mike to serve because chicken thighs are forgiving abt that, chicken breast less so.

the vegetables were cooked on a sheet tray at 400 for ??? until the tomatoes started to blister. It was a pound of asparagus, ends chopped off, cut into like... 1/3-1/2 inch long pieces and a pint of... grape? tomatoes cut in half. If you have thick asparagus i'd leave teh tomatoes hole, because youll need a longer cook time, but mine were really thin which Im not pleased abt but whatever

while ur cutting veg i'd chop your shallot, I go for pieces the same size as the rice grain, when I'm adding it to any rice dish, because I DO NOT like cooked onion texture and I want to lose it in there. set it aside

ur also gonna want to grate your own parmesan, i use a microplane, pregrated cheese is covered in cornstarch to keep it from sticking together and It fucks with the consistency of everything

I also cooked 4 slices of bacon and rough chopped them, set them to the side. Save the grease if you want to use it to sautee ur onions, i did bc i wanted the extra flavor. otherwise use ur oil of choice

the most annoy part was blanching the spinach? you can ABSOLUTELY just rough chop some spinach and throw that shit in after you've added the other veg, but i had a whole bunch i needed to process that I got for free from work. You get a large pot of water, boil, dump in your spinach. dump into a strainer, squeeze out some of hte excess water, but be careful it's hot as hell, and then dump it onto a sheet tray and throw it into the freezer for a few minutes. Take it out, blend or food process it, and then put it back on the tray and then back in the freezer. i know ur about to use it, in this case, but cooling it quickly helps retain the color, some bullshit to do with chlorophyll

then you can start the 'sotto. take ur bacon grease or oil, let that get hot, then add ur shallots. when they get transparent, add minced garlic, i use the jar kind because I'm VERY LAZY, give that a minute, listen to the sizzles, dump in ur optional bacon, and then u add ur rice. get the rice to stock ratios from a random recipe online, that's what I did, and then you toast that shit for a little bit. I don't really know WHY you're supposed to do this, maybe depth of flavor maybe liquid retention?? i just know that you DO and it helps or some shit.

once it's like, toasted, (I had a lot of rice and a bit too much fat so it took like five minutes), add your stock like, 1/2 a cup at a time? I don't measure, so idk if i'm actually adding 1/2? you just add a little stock, let it get fully absorbed, and then add more. when you can scrape the bottom of the pan and the like, goo stuff, stays fully in place, thats when ur good to add more. once you've added all the stock, dump the spinach puree in, if you pureed it, because it will have to come to temp. then add the veggies you roasted, then ADD the parmesean, then let it cook a bit longer to get everything together

i don't cook with alcohol really, so I don't use white wine, but i know lots of recipes do use it? i hope that ANY of this makes sense, but that's what I did!

oh yeah and then nuke the chicken in chef mike and put it on top and BAM you got 'sotto!!!

[furballfaggot]

the creatures have spoken. here is the fully unedited successful recipe, save for a couple extra notes i made when i posted them on discord and some clarifications. additional notes and failed attempts under the cut. please tag me if you make these i wanna know what yall think!!!!!!!!!!!

gio treats mk3 -- unedited recipe, more info at the bottom

goal of gio treats: crunchy, tastes good, bone

mk2 advancements: better texture, somewhat more of a taste, actually a bit crunchy, thick enough to cut beforehand

mk3 goals: stronger flavor, proper crunch

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1 cup cornbread mix

2 tbsp butter, melted

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp curry powder

1 1/2 cup beef brof (made with 4 bullion cubes) (note: bullion is deliberately spelled billion in the original text)

small amount of any nice herbs (added to broth -- strained out probably) (note: i used bay leaves and parsley just to keep it simple, but feel free to add whatever you want)

egg

pinch of salt and pepper (note: originally typed out as "pincha salt n peppy")

"enough pancake mix to make it stick again"

preheat oven to 375 faggotheit

roll dough onto flat surface and cut into bone

transgender to GREASED cookie sheet

poke 4 holes into each bone with toothpick (mostly for looks tbh)

bake until baked (bout 21 minutes)

let cool until cool (7ish minutes)

serves people*, probably

for storage keep in ziploc bag. for added effect make sure its one of those ones that can stand up on their own when theres stuff in em

for the past week ive been trying to make a human body compatible dog treat of sorts because I Am Dog And I Am Weird. this is the 3rd attempt, which worked out wonderfully. im going to make a thread for the notes ive got about this recipe as well as the 2 rejects from before after i send this message, so dont be alarmed by that. no real editing done aside from this note because i think its funnier this way and i wanna preserve the energy behind the whole endeavor. feel free to substitute anything you want in place of anything here -- the broth and cornbread mix are what give these their flavor, so if you want something that isnt savory you should start there. none of this was based on any preexisting recipes, i just thought of what makes baked things how they are and threw bullshit numbers at the wall for a while

mark 3 original baking notes:

- the cornbread mix definitely fucked with the consistency some. in my defense we ran out of all-purpose flour after the 1 1/2 cups i used

- added 3 bay leaves and a couple shakes of parsley into the broth and didnt strain it. the bay leaves were discarded but the parsley stayed

- number 1 most unsettling feeling in the world: picking used wet bay leaves out of cold beef broth

- pancake mix was used ONLY to get the dough to where itd possibly keep its shape. DO NOT use any more of it than you need to

- something in this batch is making the dough rise. pancake mix? cornbread mix?? self-rising flour i used on the cutting board and rolling pin??? hopefully it doesnt fuck things up too bad either way

- froze the other half of the dough for future use. for What im not sure but for something

- is melting the butter the way to go or should i just let it soften? much to consider. there are many such cases. etc etc

- it looks like they dont rise all that much actually. definitely not enough to be a major issue wrt: if they touch but no verdict on taste and texture just yet

- i will say they definitely *look* better when theyve risen a bit. just aesthetics wise

- im gonna load the dishwasher while these bake

- toothpick doesnt squish and comes out clean after being taken out of the oven. so far so gamer

mark 3 original tasting notes:

- oh fuck yes

- FUCK yes

- FUCK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

- theyre just dry enough, just crunchy enough, and just flavorful enough. fuck YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- the perfect little treat -- not too much flavor, but not too little of it either. just dry enough to dissuade having too many at once and/or to encourage more frequent hydration

- the cornbread mix was the PERFECT addition

- the thinner ones are a little off i will say. a bit burnt i think? but still not horrible

- the beef and herb flavors are just present enough for me

- im gonna be real i was NOT thinking these would turn out so good but im not upset in the slightest. might try and make a sweet version at some point if only so i can use it for my party in july

- mother of god i wish i had an actual tail to wag rn. that thing would be goin at like warp speed. curse this human flesh

- would absolutely KILL with soup. i might make extra noodle soup just for this theory

gio treats mk2

goal of gio treats: crunchy, tastes good, bone

mk2 goal: savory??? strong flavor also. ideally can be cut into from the start, to minimize waste

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour

2 tbsp butter, melted

2 tsp onion powder

1 1/2 cup beef brof

egg

pincha salt

preheat oven to 350 faggotheit

spread onto pan

roll dough onto flat surface and cut into bone

transgender to GREASED cookie sheet

bake until baked (bout 25 minutes)

let cool until cool (10ish minutes)

serves people*, probably

mark 2 original notes:

- dough was VERY sticky. like "put flour on the workspace and the rolling pin or you will have made glue" levels of sticky

- looks like ive got the ratio down for the right consistency to roll and cut into shapes! they were still a little limp when i moved them from the cutting board to the cookie sheet but thats probably easily fixed with a quick chill

- going for a savory approach here. if it works i might see if i cant recreate this with other liquids and spices. and one eggs

- better?

- flavor is less faint than mk1 but still not really all that present. the onion powder didnt really do much tbh

- a little chewy still. tiel suggested cooking them at a higher temp so ill probably try that next

- probably fucks hard with soup though

- the onion powder is kinda overpowering tbh

gio treats mark 1

goal of gio treats: crunchy, tastes good, bone

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

2 tbsp butter, melted

2 tbsp brown sugar

"an amount" almond extract

4 tbsp honey

1/2 cup milk

preheat oven to 350 faggotheit

spread onto pan

bake lightly until just coherent enough to cut into (4ish minutes)

use bone cookie cutters to make into bone shapes (depending on how well you spread them they may be difficult to keep coherent)

bake until baked (bout 23 minutes)

let cool until hardened at least slightly (11 minutes)

serves people*, probably

mark 1 original notes:

- theyre fine. nothin to write home about. not quite what i was hoping for but fuck it we ball

- theyre kinda chewy? i might have made them too thick. or maybe there wasnt a good enough balance in the batter. ill have to work on that next time

- the sanding sugar i quietly added to the batter did nothing for the crunch factor actually

- almond extract is definitely not the right flavor for this one. it bakes into a light and delicate blink-and-you-miss-it taste, but too much and it overpowers the rest of it

- why did i use honey again? flair? prissybitchism? it does nothing

- like, theres hardly ANY almond here. its a ghost within this thing

- maybe i didnt bake them long enough actually. maybe they need more time in the oven

- maybe beef flavored gio treats would be pretty good actually. wonder what they make dog treats out of. im gonna google that actually

- ok im back. milk-bone treats (the ones i like the aesthetics of) are made with wheat flour, meat flavors, and a whole lotta chemicals i dont wanna read rn. so it cant be too hard

extra post-success notes:

- the honey in mark 1 may have actually been detrimental to the treats as a whole. my guess is somewhere along the way they fucked with the consistency and made them so chewy

- "an amount" lol

- i cannot stress enough that you have to grease your baking sheet and flour your workspace holy shit

- can you tell the bulk of these instructions were written super late at night

- the slight rise of mark 3 is perfect actually. makes them nice and airy while still giving them a good crunch

- dont roll the dough too thin!!!!!! they will burn slightly and suck lotsly if you do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- i didnt have to pick the bay leaves out by hand

- but i did

- i was gonna pour the broth out anyways

- i did start a load of dishes and look up what milk-bones were made of when i said id do those things. just btw

- i did actually time those baking and cooling times with the stopwatch feature of my clock app! those are not easy estimates, i actually did those ones right

- if it wasnt for me running out of flour partway through mark 3 i would never have added cornbread mix. everyone say thank you to the flour bag being so pathetically tiny

ive been trying and failing for the past couple nights to make a Human Body Compatible dog treat from scratch and yes i KNOW i can just use my bone cookie cutters on any dough i want to but thats different to me. thats just bone-shaped cookies. i dont want that. what i want is something superficially resembling a milk-bone dog treat but made for people and also not with a buncha chemicals i cant read. ive got 2 attempts under my belt so far and i intend to try more. ill post those drafts eventually

[twinkleimagines]

frenemies

summary: You catch feelings for your nemesis Rafe Cameron and notice his change of how he started interacting with you, so you begin and hoping he feels the same, so you decide to take the risk to confront him and see what his true intentions are.

5.5k words

LONG!

Part two, part 3 , part four (final)

Warning: Language, smut, physical and verbal fighting.

Rafe Cameron.

The most loved and also the most hated Kook in the OBX.

You and your pogue friends despised this guy, or at least you were suppose to.

But for some reason, between all the bickering you two had done over the summer, you've managed to fall for him.

I know- what the fuck.

It blew your mind too. He was never nice. Always making fun of the Pogues, practically humiliating you all every chance he got. You guys were nothing but broke thieves who took whatever you wanted no matter who it hurt. You guys were scum, the dirt on the bottom of his shoe, a bunch of nobody's that will never make it anywhere in life.

Which is obviously not true, but to Rafe - that's what you ‘dirty Pogues’ were.

You didn’t care for the name calling though. You honestly could say the same thing about the Kooks. They cheat their way into life, never have to work for anything , always have mommy and daddy's money to get them through any obstacle. But you knew not all Kooks were like that. Take your best friend Kiara for example. She's a 'kook' by the book, but by the streets she’s a Full Pogue at heart.

but for some reason though, Rafe would spend most his time trying to find a way to harass the shit out of you specifically. He could have a million Pogues around him yet he always found his way through the crowd to have some conversation with you even if it was to drag your name through the mud.

You first realized the feelings you had for Rafe when you began craving his presence.

It was the annual bonfire that you and your friends had went to , a place where all teens and young adults mixed from all clicks. Tourists, Pogues, and even Kooks. Everyone was there.

You stood next to the fire with JJ and Pope, two of your closest friends as the night grew louder, more people filling in. You watched the crowds as the piled up on the sand, but your eyes roamed for Rafe himself. You were almost mad at yourself for actively searching for him. And it wasn’t even like you were looking for him so you could avoid him, but searching so you could see him and hopefully grab his attention.

You continuously questioned yourself as to Why you were looking for this jerk off to begin with. All he was going to do was put you down and try to humiliate you in front of all of your friends.

But for some reason, when your eyes landed on that tall brown headed boy, his hair for once not greased back, a wide grin on his face as he wore a black t-shirt and a red cup in his hand- your heart fluttered. You began to grin slightly, seeing him in the distance.

Despite how much of an ass hole he was, Rafe was unbelievably hot. He was toned, Tall, jaw line so sharp it could probably cut you and you could get lost in those blue eyes of his. It excited you so much when he would give you attention. Even the negative attention. At this point you just enjoyed looking at him and hearing your name flow out of his mouth.

"earth to Y/n" JJ spoke out stepping out in front of you blocking your view to Rafe, and ultimately bringing you out of your trance.

“huh” you responded dumbfounded .

“Pope thinks I’m stupid for eating food with mold on it” JJ said throwing his hands up, you grin as you watched the blonde boy try to seriously defend his theory. Pope’s eyes widened throwing his hands up as well, looking towards you for agreement.

“It’s a Fungi bro! nothing good comes from Eating mold!” Pope argued back. JJ shook his head, disagreeing with Pope’s statement .

“dude, mold is good for you ok it’s just a natural organism “ He stated, dropping his hands down to his sides.

“You’re fucking nasty” You laughed out before pushing onto JJ’s shoulder. You hadn’t realized it yet, but your laugh caught a certain boy’s attention. the moment Rafe heard that familiar tune, his head turned to your direction, his eyes focused on you as you threw your head back with laughter.

“Well well well if it isn’t Ms. Sarah Cameron “ JJ spoke as he walked up towards one of your best friend, John B, and Rafe’s younger sister, Sarah. They both looked in your direction taking a few steps away from each other as if it wasn’t obvious that they were talking.

You didn’t hate Sarah per-say, but one time she did make out with your ex boyfriend while at a party. She claimed he told her he was single and she was just looking for a good night but Sarah was known for always wanting attention so you were doubtful on the fact that she was ‘unaware’ that he was your boyfriend.

You were the only one who knew John B’s crush on Sarah. He had started working for her father after his father went missing, and you were the only one who had caught on to his different approach when Sarah was ever mentioned, or how his cheeks would go slightly red when she would walk by. You didn’t blame him, the Cameron siblings were fucking hot.

“Hi JJ’ Sarah said with a grin. You stood to the side of Pope, looking around for Kiara, only to find her sat with a group of more Pogues talking their heads off.

JJ began trying to include Sarah into his previous ‘mold is good for you’ argument while your focus drifted off, your eyes roaming the crowd once again.

You managed to look back over to where you had first saw Rafe standing, only this time he was no where to be found.

“sarah baby c’mon” you heard someone say. You looked over, Your eyes widening to see Rafe and Topper standing in front of you next to Sarah. You knew this wasn’t a group that needed to be mixed, but seeing Rafe excited you. Your eyes landed on his, your heart beginning to flutter. You hated the fact that you two were enemies. It sucked looking at someone the way you did, knowing they were only looking back at you with hatred and pure disgust. At least you thought.

“Oh c’mon Topper can’t the girl just have a little fun?” JJ laughed out, his alcohol clearly running through his veins.

“You Pogues don’t know the meaning of fun JJ” Topper laughed out. You rolled your eyes shaking your head.

“Go the fuck on Topper “ you spat out, your eyes lifting some towards Rafe before going back to Topper. You could feel yourself kicking up a sweat, maybe from the alcohol , or maybe from the fact that Rafe’s eyes were already on yours when you looked at him. He even had a smirk plastered on his face, probably from the fact he gets off on the fighting.

“Oooohhh someone’s ballsy tonight huh?” Topper laughed bringing the attention to you.

“No im just sick and tired of you stuck up kooks always trying to ruin a good time” You scoffed out, crossing your arms over chest.

“Y/n you wouldn’t know the meaning of a good time if it slapped you in the face alright?” Rafe said. He furrowed his brows together when he realized a smirk rising on your face once you looked over at him. He didn’t know what to think considering the other times you were giving him an ‘ eat shit ‘ look, but this time it was almost as if you were happy he was commenting towards you.

“Oh right, having random hook ups and snorting a line of coke every night is a good time huh Rafe?” You scoffed out sarcastly. “ yeah I think I’ll pass” You said with a roll of your eyes.

“ Listen JJ you and your little bitch need to just go back to the cut where you came from-“ you glanced at Rafe, only to see him looking at Topper with anger as if he was upset at him for calling you that , but before you could further analyze his expression, JJ pushed against Topper’s chest, slinging Topper backwards.

“you watch your mouth” JJ spat out pointing his finger towards Topper’s face. John B quickly stepped in , pulling JJ back away from Topper who was now laughing like an idiot, excited for the action that he thought was about to happen.

“Yeah go ahead Johnny boy go ahead and play dad “ Topper spat out as John B continued practically dragging JJ away from the group. “just don’t go abandoning him like your dad did ” He yelled out. Your mouth flew open in shock, seeing John B stop in his tracks but before he could even respond, your hand slapped straight across Topper’s cheek, causing his head to bounce side ways.

“go suck on your moms tits some more you fucking prick” You scowled before turning on your heals, following your friends. You didn’t even bother to stick around for anymore commentary, your only goal at this point was getting your friends the hell away from here before all hell broke loose.

“never fails man” you heard JJ screamed out in anger as you made it to the parking lot all while Pope continued trying to hush them as they stood next to the twinkie.

“JJ chill!” Pope yelled out as he tried pushing JJ into the Volkswagen but to no avail.

“no man they always get to do and say whatever the hell they want and never get any repercussions for it !” he exclaimed.

He wasn’t wrong, they really did. And if the Pogues fought back they were deemed bad and out of control. You sighed heavily as you watched JJ try to calm himself down, only to realize you had left your phone on the Log you were originally sitting at by the fire.

“Fuck I’ll be right back” You stated, only for your arm to get grabbed by John B.

“No don’t go back there” He instructed but you shook your head.

“I’ll be fine I just left my phone. “ You exclaimed before making your way back down towards the crowd of people.

“Xcuse’ me “ you mumbled as you brushed past people, making your way to the fire.

“Y/n what happened?” Kiara asked popping up from the side, placing her hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll explain later , meet you at the twinkie ok? go calm JJ down” You responded, pointing behind you with your thumb towards the van. She rolled her eyes, realizing it was a fight that had happened before turning around, making her way to your friends.

“Just can’t stay away can you?” You heard from behind you. You turn around to see none other than Rafe himself standing proudly. You rolled your eyes before turning back around, walking towards the fire once again. Despite you usually being excited to see him, tonight really put things into perspective for you.

You really were just a ‘dirty pogue’ to these guys, nothing more. There was no point to continue entertaining the thought of anything ever happening between the two of you. You were enemies, and that was all you’d ever be.

“I just came to get something Rafe go away” You huffed out.

“Oh you mean this?” He yelled out , making you stop in your track. You turned around to see Rafe holding your phone up, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“Give me that” you demanded, reaching your hand out, but Rafe pulled back, pulling it out of your reach.

“Rafe!” You yelled out with anger. “Give me my fucking phone dude” You spat out , reaching out again.

“Well what’s in it for me?” he asked , that smirk still obvious on his face.

“Rafe , please” You sighed out, dropping your shoulders slowly giving up. Between the alcohol and it being so late, you didn’t have any energy in you at this point to argue and you were just ready to go home and crash. Rafe noticed the body change in you, his grin falling from his face.

“I’m sorry” he said softly as he held out your phone to you. You were shocked. Rafe apologizing? Nobody but his father had ever heard those words coming from him so for him to say this to you really took you by surprise.

You slowly took the phone from him, your brows furrowed together in confusion.

“uhm,” you said as you pulled your arm back towards yourself. “thanks” you mumbled before turning on your heels making your way back to your friends.

“Y/n stop arguing and just do it!” Your mom yelled at you as she pushed the cleaing cart your way. You had to work with your mom today at the country club unfortunately and you were not even the slightest bit happy about it. She needed help and ‘You teenagers don’t do anything for yourselves’ as she would say, so you were stuck cleaning the floors while she did whatever it is that she does.

“Okay!” you huffed out as you picked up the broom off of the cart, aggressively beginning to sweep against the floor. You rolled your eyes as she mumbled something else to you before walking away, leaving you to clean the room alone.

It wasn’t long after that you heard some familiar voices walking down the hall way towards the room you were in. It most definitely sounded like the horrible three, Topper, Kelce and Rafe. You quickly turned your back towards the door, hoping none of them would notice you since you were alone and you against 3 just didn’t sound like a good time. You continued sweeping as you heard the group laughing as they passed the room you were in, not even paying you no mind. You sighed with relief as you realized they hadn’t noticed you and continued back to sweeping the floors.

“Hey” you heard from behind you. You jumped up gasping loudly as you turned around quickly, only to see Rafe himself standing there .

“God – fuck Rafe you scared the shit out of me. “ You breathed out, your hand over your chest as you tried to calm your heart beat down.

“sorry” he responded. There was that word again that didn’t exist in Rafe’s dictionary. You caught yourself staring before you quickly snapped yourself out of your trance, placing your hand on your hip.

“What do you want Rafe?” You scoffed out. He smirked before walking over to one of the Desks that sat in the room. You watched as he sat down on the edge, grinning as he stared over at you.

“ Never seen you here before.” He stated. You rolled your eyes before you propped your elbow up on your broom, sighing heavily.

“my mom works here. I’m just helping” You exclaimed, not that it was any of his business anyway.

“Huh” He responded nodding his head. He kept quiet once again, leaving the room silent and you beyond confused. You eventually shook your head at him, indicating for him to continue, but he didn’t.

“Look Rafe “ you started, standing yourself up straight. “I have to get back to work so unless you’re here for something important, you can go the fuck on” you finished. Rafe hopped off the edge of the desk, taking a few steps towards you , his body now hovering over yours. You began to feel your heart pound again, this time from the nerves as he stood so close to you. The smell of his cologne, grass and sweat from his Golfing lingering in your nose. you felt your hands begin getting clammy as you tried to hold your composer, your breath hitched in the back of your throat.

Rafe slowly lifted his hands, placing it under your chin, his blue eyes focused on yours. You didn’t know what to do at this point. You’ve had one on one Arguments with rafe before but none where he stood this close, and this quiet with you.

“Rafe” You breathed out as he lifted your chin, your face close together. He grinned once again, leaning in closer to you.

“You’re so beautiful” He said softly. You stared back into his blue eyes for a second before leaning in slightly. You were taken back though as he let go of your face , taking a step back and putting his hands in his pockets.

“ see ya” He responded calmy before walking back out of the room, following back to his friends.

You stood in shock, confused by Rafes actions. You were for sure positive that he was going to kiss you but he didn’t.

“what the fuck?” you mumbled before shaking your head in confusion at Rafe’s actions. You sighed heavily before sweeping your broom across the floor again, trying to regain your compose.

Most of your day went on like normal. You finished work with your mom, your mind only focused on your brief conversation you had with Rafe earlier.

It sucked because you had feelings towards Rafe, and you couldn’t tell if you were overthinking his actions or if he actually was in to you as well.

You had come to a conclusion though- it was one of two options. He was either fucking with you, or he wanted to fuck you. And you were determined to find out by tonight.

“Here goes nothing” You sighed to yourself as you stood outside TannyHill, the outside lights lighting up the big white house. You quickly jumped over the concrete fence, your feet landing in the wet grass.

Your eyes roamed the balcony, trying to remember which area you had seen Rafe standing at before. You bit your bottom lip as you concentrated, only to see Rafe himself walk by one of the windows.

“gotcha” You spoke softly before crouching down some, doing a quick jog across the field in hopes no one would see you.

You quickly managed to climb your way up the house onto the balcony you had just recently seen Rafe at. This was one of the pro’s of being a Pogue. You guys were very athletic and could always find your way to anything no matter the obstacles. You stood catching your breath as your feet finally landed on the wooden floor, the area barely lit by the light from the windows.

“What the fuck am I doing?” You said to yourself as you stood in the dark outside of what looked to be Rafe’s bedroom. You ran your hands through your hair, turning back around to face the field.

“What the fuck am I doing?” you said to yourself again as you began pacing. This is Rafe we’re talking about. Of course this man is just fucking with you. He’s been nothing but a dick to you and your friends for years. why in God’s name would he want you now? You knew you weren’t’ ugly. You were in shape, had decent hair (Even though you probably smelt like sweat sometimes because of how much you spent outside with the gang) But for the most part you cleaned up well.

Plenty of guys wanted you- but you looked nothing like any of the rich girls Rafe hooked up with. Why would he ever want you? It was clear that he was only acting this way towards you so him and his friends could have a good laugh later.

You shook your head in disbelief that you even had the balls to climb this guys house and actually think you could even ask him if he was interested in you. You began to climb back over before you heard a door open. You froze instantly, hoping they wouldn’t see you in the dark but that was just wishful thinking.

“Y/n?” You heard someone say. You mumbled a ‘ fuck’ as you recognized the voice to be Rafe.

“Uhm” You replied awkwardly as you climbed down, turning towards him to face him.

“Care to explain?” He asked throwing his hand up in your direction.

“Uhh” You said awkwardly as you ran your hand through your hair before placing them down your side.

“Y/n what the fuck are you doing climbing up my house at fucking 11 at night” he spat out. You flinched slightly at the harsh tone of his voice, your eyes roaming everywhere but his face , afraid to look at him in humiliation.

“okay so” you started, looking down at your feet. You stood for a second, wondering how you were going to explain yourself without sounding like ta total creep.

“Alight fuck it. “ you breathed out, looking up at Rafe. “You’ve been acting weird towards me, and being all like nice and flirty one minute and a complete ass the next and like – I just need clarification “ You exclaimed before you took in a deep breath, staring at Rafe as you waited for a response. You bit your bottom lip as he continued staring at you with a blank expression.

“Well?” You repeated, but he stayed quiet. You rolled your eyes, annoyed with the mind games he continued to play. “Rafe what is it? You like me or are you like fucking with me?” You spat out in frustration.

He finally changed his expression, this time a cocky smirk forming on his face. He reached out, grabbing one of your hands before walking backwards, leading you to follow him into his bedroom.

“uhh Rafe?” You questioned, confusion written all over your face as his eyes continued staring into yours.

“I’m not explaining myself” He finally spoke, his hair draped over his eyes as he looked down at you. You scrunched your face up as he reached behind you, closing the patio door. He chuckled slightly at your confusion before taking a step back away from you. “I’m just gonna show you” He exclaimed before pulling against your arm, leading you towards the bed before pushing against your shoulder, making you flop down. Your eyes widened as he walked over towards you, a smirk never leaving his face as his hand reached up, pushing away the stray hair in your face.

“You know, I’ve wanted to fuck you for quite sometime” He stated, leaning forward. “I mean look at you,-“ his eyes looked down and then back up your body, landing back onto your eyes, “You’re hot as fuck” He responded. You didn’t have a clue on what to say, so you continued in the same spot , sitting on his bed propped up on your hands behind you.

“You know for a pogue,” He finished, chucking as you rolled your eyes at his comment.

“Why didn’t you say anything ?” You finally spoke, looking up at him through your lashes. His cocky smirk left his face, only to return shortly after.

“Had to make sure the feelings mutual.” He replied , standing back up straight.

“and Who said it was?” You asked , trying to build your confidence back up. Rafe’s smirk widened before he let out a chuckle, his finger pointed out towards the balcony you were just climbing a few minutes ago.

“You did” he replied . you lowered your head some without responding, knowing he wasn’t wrong. HE stared down at you for a few seconds before he leaned in, the tip of his nose touching yours.

“Rafe” You breathed out as he stayed teasingly close.

“Hm” he hummed, not moving his face.

“Just fucking kiss me already” You demanded. Rafe happily obliged, his lips colliding with yours. Your hands immediately made their way to the back of his head, tugging on his hair.

“You wanna lay down for me ?” He asked after a few minutes of your tongues fighting for dominance. You didn’t respond other than nodding before you slowly laid yourself down, your eyes not leaving Rafe’s. Rafe grinned before unbuttoning your shorts, tugging on them. You lifted your hips up from the bed, helping him slide your shorts down as your teeth clamped down around your bottom lip. He stared at your hot pink panties, seeing the darkened area as you were already soaked.

“Soaking wet and I haven’t even touched you” He indicated. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as attempted to lower your head in embarrassment even though he could see you. Your mouth flew open as Rafe leaned down, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your damp panties, applying friction against your clit. You moaned out, leaning your head back as he placed the palm of his hand against you, rubbing up and down at a slow pace.

“Does that feel good?” He asked, his voice low and deep. You bit your bottom lip before nodding your head. Rafe grinned before he tugged on your panties, pulling them down to your ankles.

“Spread your legs open baby” He demanded , his voice calming but deep and intimidating.

You grinned before slowly spreading them open, his eyes focused on your heated core the whole time.

You laid your back flat against his bed as he got down on his knees, pulling you by your hips down to the edge of the bed, your bottom hanging off directly across his face .

“Rafe” You moaned out as you felt his warm tongue glide along your slit, his tongue stopping against your clit before he enclosed his lips, sucking slightly. He wiggled his tongue back and forth as his inserted his two index fingers into you, curving upwards. You gripped your hands against his navy blue sheets, gasping loudly as his fingers hit against your g-spot, sending tingling feelings through your body.

Rafe took one of his hands and trailed it up your stomach under your crop top, his hand groping around breasts.

You continued moaning loudly as his finger tips swirled around your nipples while his other hand continued moving rapidly against you, his eyes looking up at you in admiration.

Rafe lifted himself up, his face close to yours as his fingers continued moving inside you.

Y/n” he called out softly causing you to open your eyed and look over at him.

He placed his lips against yours as he slowly grinded himself against your side, pushing his rock hard shaft against you.

“You wanna do this?” He breathed out as he looked down at you, the pace of his fingers slowing down. You nodded looking up at him, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest.

“Yes Rafe” you practically whined out. Rafe moved himself to where he was hovering over you, his lips placed against your neck as he pulled his joggers down some, his member popping against his abs. You breathed out deeply as you watched him line himself up before slowly sliding himself in.

“ fuck” He groaned out as he felt your walls wrap tightly against him. Rafe was not only long, but he was thick all the way around, filling you more than anyone had ever done before. You placed your arms around his neck, holding him close as he began moving his hips against you.

The room was silent, only the sounds of your deep breathing and small groaning from Rafe as he continued rocking his hips in you at a steady pace, one hand placed above your head as the other gripped tightly under your thigh to hold your leg up.

“Rafe go harder” You pleaded. Rafe instead stopped his movements completely before rolling you over onto your stomach. He pulled slightly against your hips causing your bottom to stick up in the air as your face was pressed into the bed.

You gasped loudly as Rafe inserted himself into you again from behind, the new position giving him access to going deeper in you, which was exactly what he did. You felt his hand land on the back of your head, pressing you deeper into the bed as he began grinding his hips deep into you. He began slow at first but then began giving you exactly what you wanted , slamming himself into you over and over again.

At this point the pleasure was overwhelming and you couldn’t hold the moaning in as he continued rocking his hips into you, the sound of skin slapping echoing the room.

“Fuck im gonna cum” Rafe groaned out deeply in your ear, the feeling of your tight warm walls around him bringing him close to his own climax. He began placing sloppy kisses on your back, his pace speeding up. You arched your back feeling yourself clench around him as you orgasmed, your clit pulsing. You whined out, tugging on his sheets as Rafe continued to pound into you, riding out your high.

“Fuck y/n “ Rafe groaned out as he quickly pulled out, pumping himself off shooting his load on your back.

You both stayed in the same position for a few more minutes as you tried catching your breath before Rafe grabbed a napkin from his nightstand, wiping your back off.

You rolled over, laying on your back as Rafe put his bottoms back On before looking back over at you out of breath. You grinned as your eyes roamed his glistening body, his abs very prominent and his hair stuck to his forehead from sweat.

“ You should’ve definitely came to me sooner” you finally spoke out with a giggle. He sat down on the edge if the bed chuckling slightly.

“Yeah, that was nice. “ He responded. The room became silent, you both just sitting awkwardly while you laid on his bed still naked. After a moment of silence, you finally sat up, pulling his top sheet with you while getting up off the bed.

“Soo” You said awkwardly as you wrapped the sheet over your sweaty body.

“you can use the front door ” He responded looking up at you. You almost wanted to slap him at this point, realizing he was indicating for you to leave. You scoffed while rolling your eyes before turning away, picking your clothing up off the floor.

“What?” He asked as he continued sitting on the edge of the bed, noticing you aggressively picking your clothes up in anger.

“Nothing Rafe” you mumbled as you pulled your shorts back up up your legs, turning your back towards him.

“Hey” He responded standing up, grabbing your hand after you pulled your top over your head.

“What” You replied back, looking up at him with anger.

“I wasn’t saying you had to leave now I was just saying you didn’t have to climb down the house again” He exclaimed. You stood for a second before shaking your head.

“I should go anyways, it’s late” You replied before walking over towards your shoes, sliding them on over you feet. “but don’t worry I’ll take the balcony so no one sees me”. Rafe wanted to reply to your comment but instead he stayed quiet as he watched you make your way back to his balcony before stopping, leaving your hand on the doorknob.

“Uhm” You spoke , causing him to look up at you. “I’ll see you later?” You stated, more like questioned just for your own clarification. He grinned before nodding his head, walking towards you. He walked you out to the balcony, helping you over the edge before watching you climb down to the ground to make sure you made it down safely.

You did a light jog back towards the concrete wall before turning around, looking up at the balcony. You grinned when you saw him still standing there watching you. You gave him a wave before turning on your feet, climbing back over the fence and going home.

***

Sorry I’ve been incognito for a while but ya girl is back 🥲

Also,

✨As always feedback, like, and a reblog is always appreciated ! ✨

Masterlist

[kaijurakunsobs]

The Beauty in Empathy

master list

ya boi took all the time in the world writing this but here we go baby! also...yall get soft!Heisenberg content

⚠ Trigger: Panic Attack, PTSD

Summary: the travel to the village has left you shaken up and unsure of what to do with your life. You lack direction, an objective, something to anchor you give the sense of control, it doesn't matter what, you just need something to control.

It, almost, feels nice to come back to the factory, not carrying for the ache in your limbs or the blisters on your feet, you need to feel safe in any way shape or form, and the closest thing to a safe heaven...is the factory. Where no one can touch you, where Heisenberg's sole presence is enough to ward off unwanted visits, where you could run through the maze of corridors and find refuge in some empty room.

There was so much going on, the euphoria you got that morning over the small win against Heisenberg was gone now, replaced by uneasiness, fear of what you don't understand, of what you had gotten yourself into. But you don't let panic subdue you again, taking deep breaths, you run to the living quarters, crates creaking with the movement, fresh vegetables, and cans making so much noise, you were sure the Lord would come and yell at you, he never comes, not even when you almost throw down the door and begin to scream, he's not there.

It takes you a bit to calm down and regulate your breathing, you feel disoriented, suddenly everything is too much and you begin to get rid of the rope wound around your shoulders and hands, wincing when the crates and sacks do so much noise.

And there you stay with your head pressed against the door and eyes shut, remembering how your mother used to cook and clean when stressed, she said cleaning your living space clears the mind and keeps us sane, cooking fills the soul and your stomach with the warmth of your home.

That makes you get up slowly, moving to the kitchen to clean it and the fridge thoroughly, ignoring your aching and shaking limbs in favor of putting everything away and leaving out some ingredients to make a simple vegetable soup. Taking a cutting board and knife you start chopping and cutting vegetables, casting a glance at the clock in the wall and wondering, when will Heisenberg come back and if you should leave him something to eat.

You are done cooking, letting the soup boil, and slowly make the room smell deliciously, remembering how your mom used to cook this soup when you were distraught or sick, you are distraught indeed, but getting lost in memories of people that don't exist anymore feels...useless, painful, stupid.

All of your attention is brought back to the mess on the table and coffee table, all those blueprints and papers just laying around, feels wrong. Picking up every single one you do quick work of rolling it and placing it upright in one of the crates the Duke used to pack your groceries, carefully stashing papers and placing them with the prints, dropping the crate over the kitchen table, grabbing the broom and sweeping the small living room.

With a prideful smile, you stare at the much cleaner area, serving yourself a generous portion of soup and taking a seat at the table, it tastes just as good as your last meal last night, you feel pleasure by eating something this warm, feeling the heat go down your throat and radiate through your entire chest and bleeding down your body, it's nice a feeling. But the heat doesn't linger long and the cold of the world beyond the factory hunts you.

You lost it all so fast, everything stole away by Miranda and the creatures that attacked you, yes, you have a "home" here and a room, and Heisenberg's presence seems to guard off against anyone coming close to this place, but you have no control over anything anymore, and that's what scares you, the lack of control over something.

Routine...that's a way to control your life, something so easy yet so valuable right now, that you don't fight off the prospect of binding yourself to something as monotonous as routine. You were adventurous and brave, now you are scared and ready to find some resemblance of normality, it might be hard, seeing how Heisenberg seems to be more on the chaotic side, but, starting tomorrow you will need to work on that, you need to reclaim a bit of your life.

For now, the best you can do is rest, tame your emotions, abide by the contract you made this morning, maybe...if you play your cards well, you get more perks or small liberties.

Heisenberg drags you out the next day to finally help him with the ventilation, barely giving you time to eat anything and forcing you to chug your coffee, running after him to not be left behind.

The Lord can see you, scribbling something on one of his old note pads, stopping outside of certain rooms to scan the place and write down more notes, mumbling to yourself about what you will need to fix the room. So you are a planner, he likes that, you could also be faking it in favor of getting on his good side, let's see how well you do.

"Let me get this clear" you sigh putting on a pair of his gloves, looking at the rather shabby board connecting the railway and the hole in the wall where the ventilation duct is visible "I have to go across this, get inside and then find the problem?"

"Yeah, basically" he's looking at you, judging your reaction, half expecting you to back off and run away "Is there a problem, sweetheart?" he leans close to you, blowing smoke in your face

With a huff, you take the cigar from his hand and take a drag and puffing the smoke back on his face, jumping over the railing and swiftly balancing over the board towards the hole "You better find a way to pass me whatever I need, cuz im not doing the trave back and forth every fucking time!"

Karl grins at your boldness, smoking his Cuban cigar like it's nothing, raising a brow when you finish it "Will find a way, don't worry about it"

"You better do, Karl!" turning around you grimace looking at the duct, there's water and cobwebs "This is asinine..."

"You will do amazing, darling!" he screams with a lot of amusement when he sees you climb into the duct, enjoying the view of your ass "way better than I could do"

"Oh, bite me!" you yell back with a bit of humor, quickly crawling to the spot marked on the map he gave you the day prior, only stopping to wipe off the sweat from your forehead and assess the damage "Hey, Heisenberg! We have rats here...seems they been doing a number on the ventilators' wiring!"

"Fucking hell! again?!" there's a moment of silence and you use it to look around, definitely, there are rats here, he should think about acquiring some cats, "Think you can fix it?!" you hear him clearly as you make your way back

"If you have some electrical tape and new wires? I could do it today but the rats will come back and eat the new wiring!" he sees you come back, looking at him expectantly

He waves dismissively, turning around to dig through the toolbox, he swears he saw some spare wires here..."Oh don't worry about that, darling, you fix the wiring and I'll just let the lycans have a feast on the vermin" he says as if you knew what he's talking about.

"The WHAT now?" Heisenberg chuckles at your expression, smiling a bit when he tosses the tape and wire in your direction barely catching them.

"More fixing and less asking, you can meet the pack later after we are done with everything you need to work on!"

You hate the way he's smiling, it makes you shudder and feel weary for whatever he's planning.

And you are right in feeling apprehension, Heisenberg keeps dragging you around, helping you up when the repair it's too high, happily taunting you when he sees you stand on a piece of metal, watching your legs wobble and the slight terror when he screams for you to balance yourself because he's not going to save you if you fall, cackling when you tell him to shove it and balancing on the metal sheet.

At the end of the day, he's surprised at how unbothered you seem at being covered in grease and sweat, nonchalantly cleaning your face with your sleeve "And here I thought you were lying about being a mechanic, color me impressed"

"I told you, I'm a woman of my word, I would never lie to you Heisenberg~" something stirs inside him in the way you smile, cocking your hip to the side, he hates your guts but he gotta admit, you are a sight for sore eyes "This has been a beautiful day and everything, but! I'm in need of a shower and I wanna eat something"

"Not yet princess" you yelp when Karl grabs your shoulders and quickly pushes and guides you "You were curious about the lycans, yes? I think is only fair for you to meet them, seeing how you will be staying here for a long time, it's better if they understand that you aren't food"

"WHAT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?" you try so hard to hold onto the door frames, make him stop by refusing to walk, try to walk backwards, only making him grow annoyed and throw you over his shoulder "HEISENBERG I'LL DECK YOU AGAIN, PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!"

"I would LOVE to see you try that stunt again, girly. It's quite clear your daddy never showed you to be more respectful, I might need to teach you so manners" he has the good forsaken audacity of slapping your ass with his free hand

Heisenberg grunts and chuckles when you trash in his hold, trying so hard to run away from him "HOW DARE YOU?! IM BEATING YOUR DUMB FACE WHEN YOU PUT ME DOWN!" you make him laugh when a yelp scapes you the moment the cold air of the outside hits your skin and at least has the decency of softly putting you down, raising his hands as if ready for you to pounce "DON'T you dare to do that again, got it!?"

"We'll see if you mishave and threaten to punch me again, there must be some punishment, don't you think?" he's all smugness when he speaks, puffing up with pride when you blush and begin to frown, getting ready to tell him off only to get cut off when he whistles.

The sound is loud and fills the still air with a disturbance that feels disrespectful, making you wince when he keeps whistling rhythmically, that reminds you of how your grandfather used to have whistle based commands for the digs in his farm, which means...that the lycans are dogs, probably, and Heisenberg just lets them roam around, there's a small chance that the dogs are trained to chase or hunt vermin.

You both stay outside, waiting, getting a bit excited at the idea of seeing a dog after so long. Karl lifts a brow at the eager look on your face, wondering if you even know what's going to happen or if you are that stupid. He's ready to see your reaction, heard you scream in terror, or try to run back to the factory, although, he hopes you don't do that otherwise the lycans might give change and end up killing you.

The cocky smile on his face grows when he sees you pale in horror when the lycans come running, snarling and snapping their fangs at each other. Heisenberg was ready to hear you scream and see you escape, but he is not prepared for what you do next.

All that eagerness, the small hope you felt, all die when you see those beasts, all running to you like it happened that day, the phantom pain in your side makes you choke and freeze, these aren't the same beasts that...killed you...but the memory is still fresh, a part of you tells you to run, to hide, you scream or fight! but the rest of your body refuses to move. The closer they get, the louder the voice in your head becomes, so...you run and hide.

Last time you tried to run to your home and that got you almost mangled, this time? you let instinct guide you, pulling Heisenberg's coat up and hiding behind him, like a child would do, both arms winding around him with crushing strength.

In another situation, he would have made fun of you, laughing and asking where all that bravado of yours had gone to! But he can feel your chest rising and falling so fast, your entire body is shaking so hard it's making his necklaces clink and your teeth clack, you are muttering something but he can't tell what, more importantly...you are crying. He knows the signs of shell shock, oh he knows them too well, whatever happened to you, the lycans triggered a flight or fight response in you, a very strong one.

You can't hear anything over the ringing in your ears, so it's impossible to hear when Heisenberg whistles and makes the lycans scatter again. You do feel his hands peeling yours off him, the weight of his coat covering you and how, strangely, careful he is when picking you up, barely able to register his voice telling you to put your arms around his neck, the firm hold of his hands on your legs and what you guess, was a huff when you locked your legs behind him.

He's beyond surprised when you willingly allow him to pick you up like this, a million questions running through his head over your reaction. Guilt taking a hold of his heart knowing he made you THIS scared, to the point of sobbing on his shoulder and refusing to let him go even after making it into the living quarters but he manages to convince you to let him go, sitting you where you can see him cook and barely hear him talk...something about helping him with a reactor? you are not sure.

Karl watches you eat slowly, looking for any sight you might throw up or if the shaking in your hands gets so bad you might be unable to eat. He goes as far as to escort you to the bathroom, leaving you a new shirt and alone. There are no words to be exchanged but you know, he will come back to check on your jittery self and take you back to your room.

Once alone, you let shame eat you alive, wondering if he thinks less of you, if he will make fun of what just happened, or if tomorrow he will relegate you to some stupid minimal task thinking you are some weak damsel in distress. Dread crush you, not excited for the next day.

Waking up is torture and dressing up is suddenly the toughest task you have been saddled with, the smell of coffee fills the kitchen and, to your disgust, you see Heisenberg dump what might have been three spoonfuls of sugar on his cup. The man perks up when you get close to the table,

"Alright darling, let me start by saying..." here he goes, he's going to laugh and humiliate you "I'm NOT your fucking delivery man" Heisenberg throws a utility belt at you, the weight of the tools on it make you tip back and almost lose your footing "I went to the Duke to see if he got me some new stuff and he said your tools and boots arrived early, I only brought all this back so you won't lose time passing you anything"

"Eat something, we have time" He knows he shouldn't bring back up what happened yesterday, giving you time to process it all and think about what his next steps should be regarding the lycans and your fear of them.

The day is just like yesterday, but you pick on the subtle differences, Heisenberg seems more aware of any sounds that might startle you, steering you away from areas where he knows the lycans are chasing after rats and having a feast on some other things. You don't comment on it, smiling inwardly at his attempts to prevent you from going into another panic attack.

You are sitting in front of a broken generator, judging the damage and sighing when you come to the sad conclusion that you might need to rebuild the entire engine, Karl is close by, two rooms down from where you are. Getting up and stretching is a small pleasure, hearing your back crack loudly, groaning over the stiffness on your neck.

"I got you bad news, backup generator number eight? dead as fuck! I might need to rebuild it which means I'll be doing a list of what I need" you say while entering the room, his back is facing you and he seems to be deep in thought hunched over something.

Getting close you can see him pulling pieces towards him the metal listening to his command and coming his way, a screwdriver in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other, he seems to be struggling to assemble something.

Smiling a bit, you are careful when putting your head on his shoulder, effectively making him jump "Whatchu doing~?" Heisenberg curses under his breath, looking at you to the best of his abilities

"Reactor, damn thing keeps exploding whenever I do test runs" he feels you hum and see your hand get close to the project without touching

"Maybe it's the material or the lack of a cooling system, but that's my opinion" you straighten back "And like I said, the generator is dead, gone, either replace the whole unit or we rebuilt it"

You hear him grunt and pat his pockets looking for something, soon the smell of tobacco fills the air and he too gets up, looking at you, clearly thinking something or how to say it "Princess, about yesterday..." you go stiff, immediately looking away "I don't know what happened before you were brought here, but I do know that it's important for your safety that the lycans learn that you are a part of my..." at this he hesitates, chewing his cigar "family, so if you ever need it, they will come and help you"

He waits for you to say something or to see if you panic again when he sees no sight of terror he continues "There's a small group of lycans that are a bit more tamer, and I was thinking about introducing them to you, one by one"

"You want me to just do what, play fetch with them, scratch their bellies!?" there it is, your panic begins to raise and before it explodes, he grabs your shoulders making you look at him.

"You won't be alone, I'll be there and if the lycans try to EVEN bite you, I'll kill them on the spot! I will even teach you how to control them, that pack will be your...personal guard, but I'll be there"

You relish in the feeling of his gloves hands over you, thinking slowly about this. You need routine and maybe training the beasts to obey you might be good...having control over another being could be good and Heisenberg said he will be there the whole time, something about his voice makes you trust him. "If you leave me alone even ONCE, I'm destroying your knees with a wrench"

And there's that wolfish smile and hearty laughter, with renewed joy he pulls your hand telling you about how you will have the right to do that if he abandons you ever after this, he's staying with you throughout the whole process. Heisenberg catches you off guard when he takes off his coat and drapes it around your shoulders, pulling you outside, standing next to you.

"Let's start with whistling, ok?"

You must admit, you have a lot of fun learning how to do the right whistle command to call this particular pack, laughing a bit when Karl squishes your face whenever you fail to produce the right sound, once you get the sound right, he teaches small commands, how to make one sole lycan come to you, have them stop dead in their tracks, among others and how to make each whistle sound loud.

He does chuckle when you jump the moment the pack comes bolting from the woods towards you, the grip on your shoulders return and that anchors you, giving the stop command and smiling once the small group stops, Heisenberg all but smiles proudly when you take control and pick one lycan to get close and dismiss the others.

"Once it's close enough" Karl whispers low enough for you to hear "take off your gloves and let it smell the back and palm of your hands" he sees you nod and waits for the lycan to get near you, his hands sliding up and down your arms, he can feel you tremble a bit when you take off his gloves and let the beast smell you.

The lycan looks up to you, then at Heisenberg, opting for keeping its attention on you, you called it after all "It won't bite you, it can smell that you belong here, it knows better" Even with his reassurance you are weary of the beast, everything inside asking you to run away, yet you stay put, dogs can smell feat and react to it and that never ends well.

"What else can they do?" Karl can hear the terror in your voice but feels proud of your bravery, quickly teaching you what other tricks the thing can do.

By the end of the day, you are rather surprised when he cooks dinner again, he's actually pretty decent, his cooking lacks a bit of salt but it's good and he's doing his best to have you well fed.

"May I ask...why are you being so nice?" you ask him looking at his back "I've been a bit of a brat"

He laughs looking at you over his shoulder "I suppose...I understand what you are going through" he says, turning his attention back to the stove.

You want to ask him what happened to him, what made him so emphatic out of the blue but the tone of his voice and the stance of his body is enough indicator that this time is not the right moment to ask about it, perhaps one day, you two can share the pain that haunts you both.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[shutupaboutandraste]

Welcome to the DADWC! Here is a prompt for you! Restaurant AU, with the characters of your choice!

Thank you so much for the prompt! I hope the drabble is to your liking. 

Word Count: 1655

Pairing: Cullen/Bull

For @dadrunkwriting

Going to restaurants was an added benefit of being friends with Vivienne. Madame De Fer’s Critiques was the formal review column that she ran, seemingly dictating the future of upper echelon restaurants. This was not one of those restaurants. A greasy hole-in-the-wall bar and grille had been Bull’s desired stop of the night. She had dragged her friend around all day from place to place all weekend. Now out of reviewable restaurants, Bull had desired food with fat and grease and everything else bad for you.

“Couldn’t have picked a place a little cleaner?” she asked, her nose turning up as she sat down at the bar with Bull. 

The place was smoky with dark lighting, harsh yellow incandescent lamps hung from the ceiling and came out of the wall at each booth. The ones at the booths had a dirty stained glass look to them, mixes of the deep yellow with rich reds and blues. The cushions were worn red leather. Booze wafted around them, mixing in with the scents of mouth-watering food.   

A gleeful smile crossed Bull’s face as he shook his head, “Absolutely not. You dressed me up for your fancy shit, now we get to eat where I like, Ma’am.” 

Vivienne tutted, “I’m a fine dining connoisseur. This bar food won’t impress me unless it tastes like gold.”

“I hope not,” Bull told her, “I think gold food would taste pretty shitty.” Vivienne groaned. 

From behind the bar, a curly-haired blond man approached, shaking a martini mixer vigorously. That certainly caught Bull’s eye. Firm fingers held the silver cups, curling at the tips to keep the glass in place. A wry smirk came over Bull’s lips as the man’s rhythm slowed before he poured the drinks before carefully sliding them to another couple of patrons. A tired, but gentle smile was turned his and Vivienne's way, reaching beneath the bar and pulling out two menus, placing them before the duo. “Welcome to Herald’s Rest,” he said, “My name’s Cullen--” 

“Bull,” he interrupted with a wink. 

Cullen seemed taken aback, no doubt trying to figure out if that was deliberate or a blink, but did his best customer service smile. Bull avoided cringing. Okay that was the wrong move for this guy, then. 

 “Nice to meet you,” Cullen said before diving into the specials for the evening as well as the unique drafts they had that night. 

Vivienne actually looked almost impressed at the selection, which was probably the best this place would get from her. Both of them ordered their meals in quick succession-- a whiskey bourbon burger for Bull and a salmon salad for Vivienne. She wasn’t sure she should trust the fish here, but Cullen assured her that they always bought their fish fresh every morning. The owner would allow nothing less than perfection when it came to quality. 

“I will be the judge of that, dear,” Vivienne had told him. 

And, to Bull’s surprise, she judged it quite well. Much to his delight, he watched her sneak out her phone, quickly tapping away some notes in the folder that held her restaurant reviews. As Cullen made his way back over to check on them, she quickly slid it back into her purse. Her shoulders rolled back into a confident smile while Bull leaned forward on the bar. 

“I hope everything is to your liking,” he said, taking away Bull’s empty glass, “And you’d like a refill?” 

“Please,” replied Bull. Cullen quickly got to work mixing a cocktail for Bull. Normally, he went for straight liquor, but oh what those hands could do. 

Vivienne told him that everything most certainly was. They chatted pleasantly while Bull watched, silent and studying. Their bartender was certainly well-kpet-- firm stubbled chin, a lip scar that seemed to enhance his face rather than detract, perfectly curled and styled hair, even his shirt-- a black tee that had ‘Herald’s Rest’ emblazoned on it in bold letters-- was fitted to perfection. Eventually, of course, a crack had to show. As Cullen finished pouring the drinks, he set down the shaker to clasp his fingers. To the naked eye he might have just been trying to crack his knuckles, but Bull could see that they were shaking. 

“You alright, man?” he asked, with a mark of genuine concern in his voice. 

A real smile crossed Cullen’s face this time as he nodded, “Yes, my apologies, I’ll have your drinks in a moment….” True to his word, Cullen was able to give them their drinks, though Bull watched as the man kept his eyes trained on his fingers, as if waiting for them to betray him. Thankfully, they lasted long enough to deliver them safely. He nodded, “Let me or Sera know if you need anything else.” 

At hearing her name, the other bartender, a blond elven woman with hand-cropped hair, looked up. Cullen gave her a nod which she nodded back to before moving to handle her customers again. Bull turned to make sure his good eye watched Cullen slip into the kitchen. A small frown took over his face-- Vivienne would say he was pouting, but he didn’t pout. 

Though, instead, finishing her meal, Vivienne slipped out of her chair, “Unfortunately, I need to use the powder room.” 

“Have fun with that,” snickered Bull, casting her a wry glance before turning his attention back toward the door. 

He stayed like that for a while before he heard someone huff. He turned to see the elven woman--Sera-- looking at him, grabbing some empty dishes and glasses from the couple next to Bull and Vivienne who had just left. Instead of speaking, he just shrugged at her. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout ‘im,” she said, “Takes a bit ‘fore he can come back. Shakes and all.” 

“He okay?” asked Bull. 

“I jus’ said don’ worry ‘bout ‘im, right?” she told him, “Yeesh.” 

True to her word, Cullen did reappear just as Sera said no more than five minutes later. Vivienne still hadn’t come back from the bathroom, which was concerning. He hoped that fish had been up to quality despite how the bar looked. Bull watched Cullen flex his hand, leaning against the wall as he looked nervously at the bar. Bull slipped out of his seat, taking Vivienne’s purse with him. Mainly, because she’d kill him if he didn’t. 

“You gonna be okay?” he asked. 

Cullen looked up at him like a deer in headlights, his fist curling up protectively. That was good-- the man had fighting instincts from somewhere. Layers laid beneath that pretty face. It wasn’t unusual for Bull to flirt with a bartender, but Cullen had been a fun puzzle to figure out and Bull wasn’t quite done. No… He might need a few more visits before he had completed it. 

“Yes,” he replied, sighing, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you unattended.” 

“You’re good,” Bull rumbled, “Ma’am’s at the bathroom anyway.” 

“...You call her Ma’am?” he asked, head tilting as though he were a young Mabari and not a full grown man. Bull couldn’t help but stare openly, a smile echoing on his face. 

“Friend of me,” he clarified, “She hates Viv and Vivienne is too long to say.” 

Cullen actually let out a soft chuckle, “Ah, I see. Well, I hope she finds our restrooms to her liking as well. Not every day a critic walks into our bar.” 

Now that had caught Bull’s attention. Vivienne made extra precautions to make sure no one discovered that there was a food critic in her midsts at any restaurant. It came with the territory of getting an honest review. Yet, her Cullen had stated her profession like it was plain as day. Bull crossed his arms. 

“You figure that out on your own?” he asked. 

Cullen shook his head, “No… Someone like her doesn’t normally walk into The Rest for… obvious reasons. I mentioned it to our assistant manager, Leliana. She’s the one who said she was, uh, oh… that Orlesian blog I can never remember the name of. Madame something. Made sure to treat her as anyone else. Leliana believes special treatment gets you caught once you know.” He chuckled nervous, reaching up a hand to rub the back of his neck, “I.. should get back to work.” 

“Let me do the honor of escorting you,” Bull said, motioning toward the step toward the bar. That little jibe managed to get Cullen to snort a little before hurrying over back behind the bar with a quick, yet confidant gate. That was a military man’s walk. Just who was this bartender? 

Bull followed, taking his seat again and resting down Vivienne’s pocket book. Behind him he heard her starting to walk up.

“Of course!” a woman with a thick Antivan accent said, “We’d love to be featured! I can get an interview with our owner, of course. I’ll call Ms. Cadash right away.” Bull and Cullen shared a knowing glance, but pretending as if Cullen was simply cleaning a glass from the dryer. 

Vivienne took her seat, smiling at Cullen, “Feeling better?” 

“Yes,” he said, “Thank you. Refill?” Vivienne nodded. 

“A new drink, please. Fanciest you have, dear, for me and my friend,” she ordered, “I’m not sure what it will be, but surprise me. I don’t get to find such diamonds in the roughs, often.” 

“Because you never go to them,” laughed Bull. 

Cullen quickly got to work going through what they had until he actually managed to find a nice bottle of champagne which Vivienne said would do nicely. Vivienne toasted Bull for his find, though she admitted she was not going to be kind about the décor. Still, no matter how a place looked, good food would always be good food. 

They made sure to tip Cullen handsomely. And, if he found a slip of paper with a string of digits on them, well… Bull would leave it up to him to call.

[starwitness42]

The Scars on Our Hearts: Snippet 2

I actually managed to get some writing done today, so I thought I’d share the first section of the next chapter, “Bad Influence.” Hope you guys like it!

~*~

13 January 2020

The wind bites at the back of his neck as he sits with his legs crossed on the bonnet of his car in the McDonalds car park, the lukewarm cheeseburger sitting in his stomach like a lead weight. 

Cain hasn’t made a single sound since they stopped halfway through their journey south. He’s just sat there with his feet on Aaron’s bumper while he munches his own burger and stares off into the middle distance like it’s somehow managed to offend him. 

Aaron had wanted to come alone, had wanted to do all of this alone, frankly. But when Cain had insisted a few days ago that they’d be able to bring more of his things if they used two cars, Aaron really couldn’t find any fault in his logic

At least they wouldn’t have to drive in the same car, right? He can’t imagine anything worse than spending a proper road trip with his uncle, fighting over music and yelling about speed limits. Well, he can imagine plenty worse actually. But the road trip would be up there.  

His phone burns a hole in his pocket as he shoves a handful of chips into his mouth. Also lukewarm. Also filling his stomach up like they’re made of something decidedly denser than potatoes. 

He hasn’t checked his email all day, what with the packing and the driving n’all. He hasn’t checked it since last night, in fact, when he sent his record fiftieth visitor request to a husband still doing his best to pretend Aaron doesn’t exist. 

He’s been sending one every day for almost two months now, and each time he gets denied something tightens inside of him. He likes to think it’s determination, but he knows that any day that determination could take a much darker turn if he’s not careful. It all just boils down to which one of them is more stubborn, in the end. 

Balling up his paper burger wrapper, he drops it in the bag and slips his phone out, wiping his hand on his jeans to get the grease and salt off before he puts in his passcode and opens his email app. And for a second, just like every time before, his mind says this is gonna be the day. 

Visitation: Denied

So it’s not the day after all. Fuck. He really thought fifty would be his lucky number. But Robert is still blanking him and Aaron wants to chuck his phone across the car park just to watch it smash. 

“What’s up with you?” Cain asks, startling Aaron given how easily he’d forgotten his uncle was even there. 

“You what?”

“You,” Cain explains while waving a few chips in Aaron’s face. “You look like someone just punched you in the face.” 

“No, I don’t,” Aaron says petulantly as he wraps his arms around his body against the chill and lets his feet slip down to the bumper. 

“Trust me,” Cain says with a dark, sardonic laugh. “I’ve punched enough people in my time. I know the look.” 

“Oh, so just because you’re some legendary Thug of the Dales, I’m supposed to admit that there’s something wrong with me, is that it?” 

The corners of Cain’s lips tick up at that. “Pretty touchy for someone that ain’t got summat to hide.” 

Aaron shoots him a look that’s supposed to be withering but that, judging by Cain’s non-reaction, is nothing of the sort. So Aaron growls at him, but that only seems to further his uncle’s flaming glee, so he bites out, “Robert denied me visitation. Again. Happy now?” because he might as well get it over with, right? 

He’s expecting a lecture, or at the very least a snide comment. But all he gets is his uncle pitching his rubbish in their sad little bin bag and wiping off his hands as Aaron had done before looking back out into the middle distance formerly known as his mortal enemy. 

He takes a good, solid minute to gather his thoughts or whatever before asking, “You been sending a lot of them requests?” 

He doesn’t look at Aaron, doesn’t even move from how he’s leaning on his thighs, the sinking sun casting half of his profile in shadows. But Aaron can still feel his eyes boring into him. 

It’s comforting, almost. Someone actually wanting to see. 

“One a day for the last coupla months,” he admits. And even though he’s pretty sure Cain is here to report every single detail of his new life back to his mum, it still feels like a secret that only they’re sharing. And that matters to Aaron. 

Cain turns his face towards Aaron, looks like he’s either trying to study him or measure him up to see how big of a boot he’d need to get him home. But in the end, all he says is, “He’ll come through eventually.” 

The simple, confident statement takes the breath clear from Aaron’s lungs. Literally. It’s why he’s practically gasping when he whispers the word, “Yeah?” like it’s the last bloody life raft on the Titanic. 

Cain sits up straight, puffing his chest out as he says, with all the bravado Aaron’s come to expect from him, “‘Course he will, if he knows what’s good for ‘im.” 

Aaron laughs, a sharp bark of it that manages to put back the pieces that broke apart a few seconds ago. But then his uncle goes and shatters them once again by saying, all heartfelt and unlike him, “You are, you know.” Adding, when Aaron looks back at him in confusion, “Good for him. You’re good for him, lad. And he’ll figure that out sooner or later, you just watch.” 

Aaron doesn’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t even know what to feel to that. He can count on one hand the times when Cain has been legitimately soft with him, and truth be told, he weren’t expecting one on this trip. 

But here they are, sitting in a darkening McDonalds car park, sharing feelings like it’s something they do and Aaron…

Aaron can’t help but believe every single word his uncle says.

[taexual]

HOLIC - 45 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: fluffy start with some angst for dessert

words: 4.6k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

           prev / next

“I now it’s Sunday and it’s a sad day for everyone everywhere but I also know you don’t have to work on Monday, so there’s no reason for you to sulk,” Jaebum insisted, knocking on the door of your bedroom the next day, “I don’t know what to do to get you out of your room, so I’ve ordered pizza. A few pizzas, actually. Too many to eat on my own, so, please come out so I wouldn’t have to waste food.”

You’d been holed up inside the entire day – and this certainly wasn’t the first time Jaebum tried to get you to come out, God bless him – politely refusing every offer he’d made through the closed door of your room, but you knew you weren’t being fair. You knew you had to go out and explain what was going on with you, eventually. Hiding was just temporary and, honestly, childish.

So, after another tirade of knocking from a very determined Jaebum, you walked out of your room, obviously surprising him as he jumped back as soon as the door opened.

“Shit, I didn’t think that’d work,” he gasped, smiling in spite of himself. It’d only been a day since he’s last seen you and already he was displaying a poor impulse control around you.

You shrugged your shoulders. “Can’t let that food go to waste.”

“Right, well, come on,” he took your hand – even though he only considered gentle coaxing to get you to come to the kitchen, now that he saw you, he was afraid you’d sneak back into your bedroom if he didn’t physically pull you out of it the next second – and dragged you towards the empty living room area. “I don’t know what happened but—”

“Jaebum—”

“No, don’t,” he stopped you. “I get it. Sharing our problems with each other is something we’ve been doing since we moved in together, even though it wasn’t always strictly voluntary. But sometimes, it takes time to deal with certain things, so I’m not going to push you to tell me what’s bothering you if you’re not done processing it yourself.”

“No,” you shook your head. “I am done. I’m done with... with everything, really. These photography events? I’m not going to do them. I won’t—”

“Oh. Are you sure that’s the right choice?”

You sighed. “Yeah. I am.”

“Is that why you were—”

“No, I was trying to fade into oblivion because of how long it took me to get here. Because of how long it took me to make the right choice,” you swallowed. “Listen, I ran into Jackson last night and I have to tell you something. I—”

The doorbell rang, cutting you off at the very peak of your courage. You could almost physically feel the levels of your bravery recede as soon as Jaebum asked you to wait for “just a moment” and went to greet the delivery boy with your pizzas. You didn’t feel that hungry all of a sudden.

“Hey, here’s an idea,” Jaebum called out after the delivery boy left. The two cardboard boxes of pizza in his hands limited his ability to maneuver so you went over to help him lock the door. “How about we don’t talk about any of the philosophical right choices anymore, hmm? I’m afraid I’m losing you to, like, Kant. Or Freud. Or—”

You laughed at this, following him to the kitchen and picking up some plates from the cupboards while he unboxed the pizzas.

“No, I’m far from that level of thought,” you replied and then turned around to face him. “But okay. That’s fair. I won’t do that anymore.”

“Oh, don’t think it’s because I don’t want you to talk to me—”

“No, I understand. I’m not giving you any answers, anyway. You’re probably sick of me.”

“Only a little,” he teased and then laughed at your grimace. “You should go find a movie we can watch later. I’ll try to figure out why they didn’t include any of the sauces I’ve ordered.”

You raised your eyebrows, leaning closer to check the boxes he’d opened. “There are no sauces?”

“No, they’re here,” he said, suddenly locating the three small containers of sauce, all stuffed into the corner of one pizza box. “It’s all good. Go. Oh—what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

You had already managed to take three steps in the direction of your room when you stopped, turning around. “Hmm?”

“About Jackson?” Jaebum clarified, ripping the cover of one of the cardboard boxes to make it easier to transport it to his room. “You were saying something and then the doorbell—”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” you felt your skin shiver. Your courage to confess the truth about everything left with the pizza delivery boy. “I—well, it’s nothing important, really. I just saw him the other day at, uh, one of the exhibitions I’ve gone to, so, that was a surprise.”

“Oh, well, I’ve already told you he’s been off doing work for his family,” he said. “Did you get to talk to him? You should have given him a kick in the ass for me, by the way – I’ve been trying to reach him non-stop the whole morning today and he hasn’t even bothered to read my texts.”

“No, I—” you started to say and then, for the briefest of moments—that you truly despised yourself for later—you felt relieved to hear him say that. The last time you saw Jackson, he wasn’t exactly accommodating to your wish to stall a bit more before you finally came clean to Jaebum. “I-I haven’t talked to him much. Just said hi, had a quick chat and that’s all.”

“Hm,” Jaebum only nodded, now more preoccupied with the logistics of the boxes he had to carry to his room. “He said he’s coming back tomorrow afternoon so I guess I’ll ambush him then.”

You chuckled at this – more out of politeness than anything else – and returned to your room to pick your laptop up. As always, your designated spot for watching movies and eating junk food was his bedroom, not yours, so you headed over there, all while attempting to come to terms with the fact that, by tomorrow afternoon, Jaebum had to learn about the details of your contract with Jiho’s gallery. It felt like Jackson was purposefully giving you this much time to gather all the necessary courage.

Jaebum joined you in the room another few moments later, which didn’t give you nearly enough time to set your mind straight, but, then again, he could have stayed back in the kitchen for the entire night and that still wouldn’t have been enough time for you to get yourself together.

“I had this frustrating dream last night,” Jaebum confessed as he plopped down on his bed. You leaned over to help him with the elaborate arrangement of the pizza, the sauces, the laptop, and his own body – his large bed felt so much smaller now. “I was stuck in some sort of a box – honestly, it felt like a casket to me – that kept moving and I—”

“Like an elevator?” you asked.

“No—well, yeah, I guess kind of like an elevator,” he said and then added, “of nightmares. Anyway, it kept moving in this spinning motion and every time the door opened, the box was upside down and above a huge precipice. So, if I wanted to get out of it, I had to very literally jump to my death. But if I stayed inside, I just wouldn’t stop spiraling until I eventually passed out from vertigo or something.”

“Huh,” you reached for a slice of pizza. “Maybe that’s a metaphor for what’s going on in your life right now? Like, you’re taking this big risk by quitting your secure job at the radio station to focus on singing instead. That is kind of like taking a leap out of a haphazard elevator.”

Jaebum scoffed. “So, my life was a haphazard elevator and now I’m about to die?”

“No, I didn’t mean that. And who’s to say you’d have died if you’d jumped out of that elevator?”

“Well, I don’t think there are many people who have survived a twenty-meter drop straight down a precipice,” he dead-panned, picking a slice of pizza up.

“I’m just saying,” you mumbled with your mouth full of food and then stopped to finish chewing. “It’s a dream. Anything can happen in dreams.”

Dipping his slice into the sauce, he considered this and then sighed. “Maybe it is a metaphor. About fear.”

“That’s what I said.”

“No, but I don’t mean anything specific. Just fear in general.”

You paused again – the chewing was suddenly part of the conversation – before asking, “what are you afraid of?”

“I’m… Well, lots of things,” he said and then proceeded to count on his fingers, “death. Deep water. Those vintage porcelain—”

That sounded too much like he was purposefully avoiding answering your question and you shook your head, wiping the corners of your mouth with your fingers.

“Okay, I get that,” you stopped him. “I meant right now. Are you doing anything you’re afraid of? Aside from starting a whole new period of your life, I mean.”

Jaebum hesitated – obviously, the fear he was feeling right now wasn’t caused by any of the things he’d just mentioned – but covered it up by stuffing the remaining slice of pizza into his mouth. He took his sweet time chewing it.

“Y-yeah, but I’m not afraid of that new period,” he said finally, wiping the grease from his fingers onto his pants. You gave him a disapproving look – which he promptly ignored – as he tried to explain, “I’m just nervous about it, I guess. Excited, too. But, generally, I’m not afraid of that. There are just… these little things I’m afraid of.”

“Such as..?” you encouraged.

“I’m working on this song,” Jaebum said, avoiding your eyes as he reached for another slice.

You felt your skin break out in goosebumps – your body reacted before your mind could –  and it took you a second to understand why. Then, Jackson mentioning that Jaebum had been writing a song about you returned to your memory with an overwhelming flash. Although you didn’t know if Jaebum was talking about the same song right now, suddenly you forgot how to chew and swallowed the piece of pizza you’d bitten off whole.

You coughed, clearing your throat before you asked, “w-what kind of song?”

“It’s—it’s something I’ve been writing for a while,” he replied, completely forgetting the sauce as he took a bite of his pizza. At this point, his mind was already so far from this room that the food seemed tasteless to him anyway.

“And you’re afraid of it?” you asked since, obviously, it was hard for him to keep talking on his own.

“I… yeah,” he said. “Sort of. That sounds stupid, I get it, but—”

“It doesn’t,” you disagreed. “You’re creating something. It’s normal to be worried about it.”

“No, but I can live with worries,” he said, groaning as he put his half-eaten slice of pizza on an empty plate he’d brought. “I can’t explain what I mean. And—actually—maybe that’s exactly where the problem – or, well, the fear – lies in. I’m just… I’m scared I won’t be able to put it all into words and it won’t come out right. The song, I mean. And, sometimes, I’m scared that the song won’t come out at all. O-or, if it will, it won’t do very well.”

You squinted your eyes as you listened to him speak, trying to figure out if “the song” was a metaphor for something much deeper of if this particular song really meant so much to him. It could have also been both, of course.

“Well,” you said slowly, ���do you want the song to come out?”

“I do. Of course, I do.”

“Then it will,” you said.

“Right. But what if it doesn’t do well?” he repeated himself.

“That’s not possible,” you declared. “You hate abstractions, so the song is obviously going to be about something that people can relate to with ease. People usually like things they don’t have to try hard to understand. They enjoy songs that hit close to home.”

“It’s… it’s a song about this sort of one-in-a-lifetime experience, though,” Jaebum admitted. “I’m not sure if there are many people that will actually be able to relate to it.”

“Well, even if they can’t relate, that doesn’t mean they won’t enjoy it,” you said, your hands freezing even though there was a fire blazing inside of you. “What is the song about?”

“Well… it’s a personal song,” Jaebum said. The less specific he was, the more inclined you were to believe that this was the same song Jackson had mentioned and, consequently, the less oxygen there seemed to be in the room. You couldn’t stop thinking about the possible lyrics of the song.

“Okay,” you said, hoping your voice wasn’t shaking too obviously. “How much have you written? Can I hear it?”

Jaebum looked down, the abundance of thoughts in his mind – what a ridiculous contrast to the one, lonely thought that kept rotating around your mind like a loose tumbleweed in the wild wild west – making it difficult for him to find an answer to your question. He hadn’t lied to you when he said he was worried about the song not doing well – that part was true. And he also worried about it being misunderstood, that was true as well. But the thing that he was the most afraid of was the thing he couldn’t tell you about because it was hidden inside of said song.

He’d told you he focused on the most prominent emotion he was feeling when he wrote song lyrics and, this time, he tried to put all of his fear into this song. These fears – or, rather, just this one fear, in particular – had been bothering him for quite a while now: first, he had been afraid to get close to you, but after he had, he was suddenly afraid to fall in love with you. And now that he had, he was afraid to lose you.

His biggest fear was always you, and, simultaneously, it was also the absence of you. It would have surprised exactly no one to know that the song about the leading emotion he was feeling, was also a song about you.

“That’s another thing I’m afraid of,” Jaebum said after what felt like forever but was, really, no more than a minute. It was still not enough time for him to find a proper way to express himself – which was something that you could relate to.

“What? Me, hearing it?” you asked, confused.

He exhaled, nodding. “Yeah.”

“You shouldn’t be,” you said in a quiet voice, hating the uncertainty behind your words. “I love everything that you do. But I get it. You can play it to me when you’re ready.”

Even though Jaebum didn’t respond with anything – just looked at you – his eyes burned with all that he wanted you to know and, deep down, you felt like you understood him perfectly. Frankly, you were afraid of all the same things and, sometimes, finding the right words – however obvious they were – to express yourself and to cause that fear to dissipate, didn’t come easy. You knew that better than anyone as you procrastinated on the confession of truth – yet again – out of fear of disrupting the Sunday night bliss.

Finally, long after the pizza was finished and the movie – and the sequel that you couldn’t stop yourselves from watching – was completed, you and Jaebum started to stretch. Laying in one spot and barely breathing could have easily mummified a person. Jaebum yawned, stretching his hands above his head, and then turned to you.

“Can I tell you something?” he said, his eyes red and hazy from the intense staring at the computer screen.

“Of course,” you replied, his yawn contagious. “Anything.”

He sat up before continuing, the bones somewhere in his spine cracking uncomfortably.

“I thought…” he started to say and felt himself run into a brick wall inside of his mind. He’d tried to find the right way to say this all throughout the night – not wanting to scare you but also not wanting to seem like a pathetic loser, either – but actually opening his mouth to speak still wielded no good results. “No, you know what? Nevermind. It’s dumb.”

The longer he hesitated before speaking, the more your curiosity was taking the best of you.

“Hey, come on,” you encouraged. “Tell me.”

“No, it’s stupid, really, I just—”

“You got me all excited now! Tell me,” you insisted.

Figuring that this might happen, Jaebum sighed in defeat. “Fine. I… I thought you might have done something.”

Although you were not at all sure what he was hinting at, your heart still seemed to drop right into the pit of anxiety brewing at the bottom of your stomach.

“What?” you asked. “What do you mean? What have I done?”

He was shaking his head as soon as you started to speak, realizing now that he should have started with something else. Point-blank accusations rarely ever ended well and he felt like the one he had thrown at you was beyond stupid. Yet, for some reason, he still wanted to talk to you about this.

“No, it’s just—the way you’ve been acting, you know?” he tried to say, smiling for more effect. Although, the only effect his smile had was a great increase in your levels of anxiety. “Like, I know I said I don’t want you to philosophize about anything anymore but… all of this secrecy and these half-answers you’ve been giving me whenever I asked you about how your exhibition was going… I just thought you dropped it or something and were too afraid to tell me.”

You weren’t expecting him not to notice your behavior at all – he was far too perceptive for that – but, somehow, you’d naively hoped he wouldn’t bring it up.

“The exhibition?” you clarified, caught off guard. “N-no, I haven’t dropped it. That’s still… well, I hope it’s still happening.”

“Okay. I mean, don’t get offended or anything, I’m just being paranoid,” he said and then, with a nonchalant chuckle, added, “but I really thought you either dropped the exhibition, or… or you actually did have to sleep with someone to get it.”

Finally, you looked up from the hole that you’ve dug for yourself by omitting the truth from him, and realized how deep it was. You could barely see the surface anymore.

“W-where did you even—” you tried to ask but Jaebum jumped in to explain himself.

“It’s because of that conversation we had the other day,” he said. “When you asked me how far I was willing to go in order to—”

Suddenly panicking because, apparently, you’d let Jaebum come to some shocking conclusions—that weren’t all that far from the truth—without meaning to, you waved your hands in dismissal and tried to cut in.

“Oh, no, I was just—”

“Yeah, I told you it was stupid,” he spoke over you, his warm gaze trying to calm you down, albeit unsuccessfully. The raw ends of your nerves were flickering with anxious electricity. “I was just worried about you. I want to know what’s going on. You’ve been with me every step of the way, you know the names of everyone at my agency, basically. I want to be the same for you. But, forget it, I’m just being dumb.”

He stopped talking and, although no more than five seconds could have passed before you opened your mouth to speak, it felt like you could have counted to a million and back in the time that neither of you spoke. The silence was so thick with all the things you haven’t told him – and were, evidently, about to spill – that you could barely breathe, let alone find a way to soften the blow you were about to strike Jaebum with.

You started, your throat hurting with every word, “you’re not being dumb. There’s…. There actually is something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a while ago.”

The electricity from your body seemed to transfer onto his as Jaebum’s face paled all of a sudden. “Oh, wow.”

“What?”

He grasped his chest over his shirt. “I think I’m having a heart attack.”

“What?” you gasped, frowning. “W-why?”

“Carry on!” he encouraged abruptly. “You can’t just start a sentence like that a-and with this… this expression on your face. You look like you’re about to tell me you’ve found a basement with a hundred rotting bodies inside of it and you’ve been trying to find a way to bring them all back to life.”

“No, it’s not that,” you shook your head, far too nervous to acknowledge how ludicrous that statement sounded or even joke about how he obviously thought you were cosplaying as Frankenstein on the side. “It’s—it’s nothing serious, really. I’m blowing this way out of proportion and I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell you, I just—”

“Out with it, please,” he pleaded. “My poor heart.”

You were absolutely driving him out of his mind – and body, by the looks of it; he looked like he was ready to astral project into three different dimensions at the same time – but you simply could not find the right words. In fact, you didn’t think such words even existed anymore – it was far too late to let Jaebum know about Jiho slowly and convince him that it wasn’t a big deal.

“Right, right, sorry,” you said and then cleared your throat. “Well, erm, see, the person who ended up contacting me—the, uh, the agent from the gallery we’ve been to? It’s… it’s actually someone I know.”

“Someone you know?” Jaebum frowned. He’d been expecting a huge revelation that was going to blow his mind and he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with what you’ve told him. His nerves wouldn’t let you explain, however, as he burst into a tirade of confused questions, “what, like a professor from college or something? Are you saying this is some sort of photographer-version of insider trading? Do you think they only invited you to meet with them because they know you? Because, let me tell you right now, that’s not—”

“No, Jaebum,” you stopped him. “It’s Jiho.”

One impossibly loud heart beat later, Jaebum blinked his eyes and shut his mouth. “Hmm?”

“That agent,” you clarified, your voice fading. “T-the person responsible for my exhibition. It’s Jiho. I-I’ve been working with him.”

He stared at you and you swore you’ve never been more scared of anything in your life like you were scared—petrified, really—of the utterly blank look in his eyes. You usually struggled with reading his emotions but, at the very least, you knew there were emotions to look for. Right now you couldn’t find a single one.

“I didn’t tell you sooner because I was afraid of your reaction,” you chose to add after a yet another ridiculously long pause.

“Why?” Jaebum asked. There was a change to his voice and the room got unbearably chilly. “What did you think I was going to do?”

“I don’t know. I know you don’t like him and I just—I know it’s nothing, I was just nervous,” words spilled out of your mouth as you focused on how vulnerable his empty eyes made you feel. You had no guesses about what he was going to do or say next. “A-and I didn’t want to ruin your mood when everything with your career seemed to be going so well.”

“W-why would that ruin my mood?” he shrugged his shoulders. The nonchalant act he was putting on was so incredibly transparent, you could almost taste the bitterness on his tongue.

“Well, you know,” you said, all of the excuses you’ve come up with had escaped you. “It’s, uh… I had to go to these events with him. For publicity. Like I’ve told you.”

“Ah,” Jaebum nodded, slowly sitting up and taking his feet off the bed. “So, you’ve been fake-dating Jiho is what you’re saying.”

You’ve been blessed with never having to experience standing at gunpoint before. But sitting right here and telling Jaebum all that you should have told him days ago, felt an awful lot like talking in front of a loaded sniper. And now that he’d gotten up, you thought you could see his finger approach the trigger.

“I—” you started to say but Jaebum interrupted.

“And you didn’t tell me because you were afraid of my reaction,” he repeated, heading for the door.

You lowered your head as a half-nod. “Y-yes, I didn’t want—w-where are you going?”

He didn’t stop crossing the hallway as he called out in an eerily calm tone, “just to get a drink.”

“A drink? We have—Jaebum?” you leaped off the bed when he still didn’t stop and ran after him, making sure to keep a respectable amount of distance between you two. Not because he scared you when he was like this but because you felt like he didn’t want you that close right now. “Jaebum, please.”

His voice was like static when he spoke – no signs of what he was feeling whatsoever.

“Please what?” he said. “I’m getting water.”

He really was and, even though you could still remember watching him reach for the glasses on the top shelf of the cabinet the very first time you’ve had breakfast together, now you realized you’ve never seen the strained muscles of his back look so menacing.

“No, but I can see the way your muscles are clenched. You look like you want to punch… something,” you pointed out quietly.

“I do not,” he replied with his back turned to you as he turned the tap on, not bothering to switch it to cold water, and poured some into his glass. He took a sip but it looked like he couldn’t taste anything.

“Jaebum—”

“So, these events, then,” Jaebum turned around, putting the glass down so vehemently, you thought it was going to crack. “How many of them have you gone on with him as your date?”

Your teeth grazed against your tongue as you swallowed.

“He wasn’t my—n-not many, just a few, really,” you said, trying desperately to find something else to add to make this sound less awful. “But I’m not doing them anymore. I told him so. I gave him an ultimatum.”

“And Jackson,” Jaebum concluded, remembering what you’ve mentioned earlier. “You ran into him while you were out with Jiho, yeah?”

“I-I—”

He was already walking past you before you could reply, dropping his coldest sentence yet, “I have to go.”

You wanted to grab his hand and stop him but, sensing your intentions, he crossed his arms before he quickened his pace towards his coat, hanging in the hallway.

“Go?” you asked, almost running after him. “Go where? It’s—”

“I have to go,” he repeated sternly, not wasting his time to even glance at you as he tossed his coat over his shoulders, not bothering with the sleeves.

“Jaebum—let me explain, it’s really not a big deal,” you pleaded, the hopeless tone in your voice doing nothing but making him reach for the handle of the door faster. “Jaebum, it’s—Jaebum!”

He slammed the door shut before the last syllable of his name could pass your lips. In the dreadful silence that he left in his wake, you realized that his smell, that had comforted you every day for months that you’ve lived here, and your heart, that had, really, been his all along, had left the apartment with him.

        chapter directory

[costellos]

LOL A 401K IM DEAD but honestly...... tru

all that tax stuff, retirement plans.... nanami’s got it covered. and then there’s gojo, committing tax fraud 🤧 i’d compare gojo to salt as a seasoning but that’s kinda mean, he does have some flavor. like, sugar probably suits him better?? sweet, can be addicting, but bad for you if have too much of it 🙈 AND THEN NANAMI. man’s the whole spice rack, he wouldn’t have it anything less since he loves food so much 😤 he is, as we say, umami personified 🤌

yeah, it’s unfortunate lmfao but oh well. i do occasionally have them in a smoothie though, like you said!

alsjfhsha it’s def time consuming.... like i’d be sitting down w my family and when i’m finally done picking it all out, they’ve finished eating welp 😭 and yeah, the rational part of me knows that, but i’m that person someone has to go up the service worker for and be like “excuse me she asked for no pickles” (except i didn’t 🙈) i’m much better in restaurants bc the language barrier isn’t as intimidating so i will tell them to leave out an ingredient if it’s something i can’t easily take out

mmmmm i can see that! he’d be the guy who’d eat pizza with a fork and knife wouldn’t he lol. and dab all the excess oil off w a napkin. he probably only goes to the Legit pizza places too haha but i think if he likes you enough he can be convinced to eat almost anywhere

ofc!! ask games are more fun if it goes both ways 😌 and ooooo tsumu! interesting...... 👀 those are honestly such good date ideas w a guy like atsumu! that’d rly be smth he’d enjoy and ngl the moment i read ‘something physical’ i immediately imagined y’all racing LMAO. he’s a prime example of how competition can be good for you w the right person, so i can see you filling in the space osamu left after he decided to focus more on his food aspirations. like imagine making cute lil bets w him and the loser having to do what the winner wanted hehe. omg a double date w the miya twins would be sm fun tho??? from my impression of you so far, i definitely trust you to keep tsumu in line lmfao so catch me there. me and osamu are the ones spectating and judging your guys’ competitions and cheering you on to beat atsumu like we’re olympic commentators or smth LOL

aaaaa i’m honestly p shy but if anything can get me to come off anon, it’d be nanamin 😂 (it’s like we’re todo and yuji bonding over their shared type but w nanami skdjfjsjsjs) let me know if you prefer to keep it here or on discord and i’ll give you my account, whichever platform you like better! also congrats on 1k! much deserved!! 🎉

cut for length!

A;LDSKJ GOJO WOULD COMMIT TAX FRAUD. lmao salt is a lil mean!! sugar is more fitting <3 sugar is also used for more fun foods, and I feel like it matches him bc of his sweet tooth. but Nanami........ o lawd. definitely the whole spice rack yes. 100% agree. pls I would use him in everything. wait was that a weird thing to say?

ah I totally understand! well, u got this friend. the next time u go out for Mexican food, I’ll be there cheering for u in spirit!!

and yes.... ugh... I don’t think he’s particularly picky, he’ll try anything. he just doesn’t like foods that are excessive, if that makes sense? like what you were saying with the grease. I think he’s more the type to like subtle flavors. an obnoxious meat lover’s pizza from The Hut would be a no go, but he’s down for a, quote, Legit Pizza Place. the kind of Italian restaurant that’s authentic! but let’s admit it, by that point it wouldn’t even technically be “pizza.” authenticity comes with a price :’)

ty friend you’re far too kind 🥺 AND PLS YOU’RE MAKING ME BLUSH OVER MY LAPTOP HHHHHHH. I would love nothing more than to fill the Osamu-shaped hole in his heart once they both go into their separate careers. and god..... don’t encourage him. or me. I would definitely make bets w him. and I would win. but thank you sweet anon, I would do my best to keep him from annoying the shit out of you!! it would be an honor to have you and Osamu comment on our tomfoolery. 👉👈

MY GOD I WAS ABOUT TO KEYBOARD MASH AGAIN. we’re definitely Todo and Yuji.... u like Nanami and so now I’m obligated to imagine a whole life we coulda had together in high school together. even tho I graduated five years ago. and I’m assuming you did some time ago too since you mentioned you’re old...... lordt. anyway! thank you for the congrats!! I would love to discuss more headcanons and such w you over Discord! dm me and I’ll add you so that we can sob over Nanami’s absence in the anime <33

nanamin date anon said: me, rewatching eps 9-13 on replay until the new episode comes out: hahaha i love all the jjk characters equally! nanamin and *looks at smudged writing on hand* the extras

lol i love them all rly, it’s just super refreshing to have an adult like nanami in a shounen

haha yeah, i’m definitely glad i’m not the oldest (bc that’s way too much responsibility for me, idk how they do it) so being player 2 as a younger sibling isn’t too bad, especially since it’s the story that i’m usually more interested in rather than the gameplay itself. i don’t have to worry about remembering which buttons to press in a fight when i can just watch the plot play out lol. (it’s definitely a good game, i just suck at the controls 😅 my brother let me play a bit and i couldn’t get the web swinging down i was struggling so bad aslfjjfsjak) what sort of games are you into? 👀

even if it’s boring to some ppl, watching is a good way to experience the game for yourself as well, esp if it’s a single player game! ofc i do tend to prefer multiplayer games, but it’s not too dissimilar to watching someone play a sport tbh. AND NO KENMA IM PRO-SIDEQUEST LIVE OUT YOUR COMPLETIONIST DREAMS. if we gotta fetch that dude a super rare item to unlock his backstory we MUST do it ok

YEAH! mikorin is also voiced by noya’s va! it’s honestly a shame gsnk didn’t get a second season, it’s so good 😔

me: lol does that mean kuroo’s your tomoda

kenma: ok this date is over

LMFAOOOOO not my fault the popular choices are the ones that get you the good end 😤 and it’s all good, i’m also guilty of replaying to see how the other choices impact the story haha. if there’s no save system tho, i’d make him switch out w me every time we replay bc i’d zone out at all the repeat stuff (bless games that have a skip option 🙏)

UGH TELL ME ABOUT IT!!! ok so I love the other charas too but.... Nanami’s so good. so good. iono about you, anon, but I went back and rewatched his episodes from the dub and it made me Feel Things. and I agree, it is refreshing to see an adult like him in shounen. esp since he treats the kids like kids. and he makes it clear that their being kids is never a bad thing. I will reiterate: he’s so good.

ahhh friend that’s so nice!. your brother sounds really chill. plus it sounds like a good balance: you get to watch the story, and he gets to dick around!! win-win. and as for my fav games, I’m up for anything! I try to avoid co-op games like Overwatch bc I get too competitive and I’m a sore loser lmao (but they are fun!). the last games I played were the Last of Us 2 and Persona 5, two very different games, but stuff that’s a good time nonetheless. tbh as long as I can immerse myself in the story and there’s tons to explore, I’m down. what about you?? you’d kind of mentioned otome games and Animal Crossing, but I’m curious!

hm. interesting. that’s a nice way to look at it. I guess if it’s a really good game, it’s no different from an interactive movie! also Kenma would love that omg you’re going to save so many villages in the rpgs he plays w you.... gotta max out EVERYTHING. every side quest! every mundane task!! collect literally every feather!!! but I feel like he would pass the time by making idle conversation. like some dumb shit Lev had mentioned earlier that day. such a nice way to unwind at the end of the day, shit talking Lev w his fav person 😌

anyway! going back to completionist stuff: Kenma would have such a blast going back and replaying games w you! and yes bless games w a skip option hhh. thankfully he’d remember all your previous choices together, so he can help navigate where to go next. he has no qualms handing the controller over, I think he’d love to curl up next to you and analyze how you play! but I also feel like he’d be giving unwarranted suggestions....... thanks, Kenma.

also, about Mikorin’s va: WHAT. OH MY GOD. so many things to learn..... pls. indulge me w your trivia.

[underworldwitxh]

#8 nsfw with bakugou please!

#8: "Like what you see?" 🍋🍋🍋NSFW🍋🍋🍋 Warning: Bakugou swears alot NSFW: Blowjob, PIV, rough sex, bdsm elements, Dom Bakugou/Sub Reader, Reader has boobs and vag, reader is female. (Will try to make it so theres no mention of skin tone so reader can be any ethnicity. I may fail but please know im trying)

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The morning had started out pretty normally you say. You woke up, got a change of clothes, took a shower and now you were making breakfast for you and your long time boyfriend Katsuki Bakugou. Who was as far as you knew still asleep in bed because of the very eventful day he had, had before. "Y/N? Y/N Where are you, you dumbass?" You could hear being called groggily from your shared bedroom "I'm in the kitchen babe, try and sleep some more? I'll come back to bed once im finished with these eggs." You call back.

A few minutes passes when you hear heavy footsteps coming down the hall. "Come on Y/N, come ba...." he trails off as he sees what it is your wearing. Before him all you're wearing as a lingerie set that was made to look like his hero costume. He could feel himself getting harder just by seeing your ass, which was barely covered by the bottoms. Your top half he, unfortunately couldn't see at the moment because you were wearing an apron over it to protect your delicate skin from grease splatters.

You turn your head and smirk at the current numer 3 hero "Whats the matter baby? Cat got your tongue? Dont ya like what you see?" You ask him innocently as you turn off the finished eggs and plate them up. You then make sure to completely face him as you take off the apron.

The low growl he admits to seeing your front half for the first time sends a thrill up your spin.

He couldn't believe what he was seeing, before him there you stood, in the most revealing lingerie top he has ever seen on you. Where the orange "X" is on his costume it looks like a shibari harness on your chest. Your breasts being compressed in the "X" because the breathable black undershirt he would normally wear is completely missing. On your wrists, where his grenades are you have two cuffs that have strong metal loops. The kind that fit perfectly in the harness straps that the two of you have hidden on your bed.

"Get in the bedroom now Y/N." He growls softly at you. "When I get in there i want you to have pulled our harness out from under the mattress and to have locked yourself in it. You may eat before doing that you did work so hard on preparing this wonder food. It'd be a shame to let it go to wast. Take yours with you in the room. After your done eating and have done as i asked. Call for me." He told you, his voice taking on a more dominant authoritative tone. You shivered and nodded.

You had just finished buckling the the last strap, with some difficulties, the harness you were now strapped in used you own body weight as a means to keep you in one position, it was an akward dance that was for sure. Thankfully the bottoms of your new set were crotchless so you hadnt bothered taking them off. Not that you would have anyway because you Sir hadnt told you too.

"Sir, I'm in my harness" you call out. Your voice soft and meek but still strong. You hear heavy footsteps coming back to you. "Now what am i going to do with you? Hmmm wondering around the house letting sll the neighbors see whats mine? Ah ah ah no speaking. I didnt give you permission to speak." He chuckles softly at your distressed whine, "Now then what to do with you? Hmmmm should i spank you? No no you'd like that too much. Hmmm should I.." suddenly Katsuki was above your chest his sleep pants and boxers dropped to the floor his hard length bobbing slightly in the air above your face. Through it all you keeped your eyes on his, not in a "assert my domain" way but more in a "I love you, let me please you. Please?" kind of way. Katsuki smiled down at you "Now tell me Peaches, how bad do you want me?" He purred to you. His voice getting gravelly.

He smirked hearing you whine as your arms struggle against their restraints, as you try so hard to reach for his hard cock. "Please Sir, may i have it in my mouth?" You ask your voice going soft. Katsuki could see in your eyes that you were starting to slip into subspace. "Peaches, what's your color? Do you remember you safe word?" Katsuki asked, "Green Sir and yes i remember." You tell him.

He smiles before grinning down at you "Good, then open up Peaches" he takes his dick and runs it over your lips gently back and forth. Once you open your mouth he starts feeding his dick into your mouth stopping every few inches to pull out and then go back in until he starts a very gentle rhythm of slowly fucking you mouth. "Mmmmm fuck Peaches your mouth feels amazing." Katsuki tells you through gritted teeth your tongue at that moment licking the underside of his dick head "Fuck Peaches do that again." He gasps out as you had accidentally nipprd the tip of his cock kissing his dick before swallowing it back into your mouth and waiting throat. Katsuki growled deeply ripping his dick out of your mouth, you always were an amazing cock sucker. Your lips were now a pretty red color and your chin and cheeks glistened with a combination of his pre-cum and your spit. "God you look so fucking beautiful like this Peaches. But lets see how wet you are for me, hmmm?" Katsuki trails his hands down from your hair over your neck, squeezing it gently and causing you to moan wantonly, over your chest making sure he palms both your tits, before getting to the apex of your being. The very center of you. By the time he got there you were squirming so much and whining with soft pleas to him to "please touch me Sir please, i need it. I need to feel your hands all over me. Please please" he smirked at hearing you beg for his touch so he did, on the thigh rubbing it softly but not touching you where you wanted him to.

He used his hands to spread your thighs apart so he could see your glistening core. "Aww look at that Peaches, youve made a mess of yourself down here. Hmmmm maybe i should clean you uo first before i stick my dick inside you? How does that sound do you want me to clean you Peaches. Use your words Peaches i need to hear you say it." Katsuki slapped your thigh lightly when you tried to give him a non-verbal response. "Please Sir, please clean me. *moans* please" your body twitches from every movement Katsuki makes against you.

The blonde smirks finally puts his hands on you, he spreads you open before lowering his mouth your center and taking a long lick, groaning at your taste "Fucking hell Peaches you always taste so good. Like my own personal candied peach. Fuck" he emphasized each word with a lick or small suckle on your clit. Your moans ratched up each time he sucked on your clit. He smirked again and went to work on you. He sucked you clit into his mouth while one hand went and slowly started to place a finger inside you. At that feeling of penetration your back arched and you tried to force your hips into Katsuki, the moans leaving your mouth sounding more and more wanton then ever before.

Kstsuki suckled on your clit, for what felt like hours but was actually probably only 3 minutes. He was bound and determined to make you cum on his face first before he started to pound your pretty little pussy. When he started to feel those tell tale signs that you were about to cum he redoubled his efforts. The scream you let out was so loud Katsuki was surprised the neighbors hadn't come knocking to find out whar was wrong. "You liked that Peaches, you liked cumming from just my mouth and fingers? Want me to make you scream like that again?" He asked as he lined himself up with your still pulsating pussy. He smirked when all you could do is nod and whine at him. He drew himself back before grabbing your hips and slamming into you hard. The resulting scream you let out was music to his ears and set the pace for the next few moments. "You like it when i slam my hard dick into you don't you my little cock sleeve" he demanded of you. All you could do was moan and nod because everytime you try to answer him he slams himself back into you just as hard as he had before. "Fucking answer me bitch you want me to make you cum?" He yelled at you slamming harder and harder. His fingers grabbing hard enough to leave bruises "YES! PLEASE YES PLEASE KASTU FUCK ME, FUCK ME SO HARD PLEASE!" You scream out your body feeling like your about to explode if you dont cum soon "FUCKING CUM THEN. CUM ON THIS COCK LET EVERYONE HERE KNOW WHO YOU BELONG TO FUCKING SCREAM MY NAME" Katsuki screamed one hand letting your hip go to start rubbing on your clit "ooooh fuck oooo fuck ooo Babe fuck im gunna cum please let me cum please Sir please" you beg "scream my name bitch scream it loud so everyone here can hear how much of a slut you are for my cock" Katsuki growls out at you his fingers rubbing against your throbbing clit faster and faster until finally the dam breaks and your cumming "OoOOOo FuCK KATSUKI FUCK OOO BABY IM CUMMING PLEASE BABY BABY CUM WITH ME I WANNA CUM WITH YOU" you scram out your hips arch up into his. He roars his climax his hips pounding down into you one last time as he emptied himself inside you. He groans softly as he pulls out, seeing his cum slowly drip out of your pulsating and twitching hole. "Fuck babe you look so hot" he tells you as he unbuckles you from the harness "you feeling ok? Need me to run a warm bath? Maybe get you a bottle of water?" He asks softly running his hands over your sweaty hair smiling down at you as he gently runs his hands across you in a soothing manner. "Yeah but i think your going to have to carry me babe. I cant feel my legs." You both chuckle and he gladly picks you up and carries you into the bathroom setting you down on the toliet to take care of business and so he can start the bath for you, he adds some epsom salt to the water along with some of your relaxing bath fizzes. Once youve finished your business he helps you get undressed and into the bath "I'll bring you a bottle of water and a small snack ok baby? I love you" he whispers that into your hair as he heads towards the door. "I love you more" he hears you call back. He smiles and goes about grabbing you some water and a snack. He also takes the time to put the harness back where the two of you store it.

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I hope this is what you wanted anon.

[docholligay]

Support has Arrived

themiscyra1983 replied to your post “What if I did some fluff (hypothetically) prompts tomorrow? Would...”

Mercy and Emily hanging out! It feels like they'd be on a similar wavelength, they both have high-strung partners in different ways, and I like the idea that Emily has formed her own friendships with Tracer's friends and coworkers.

I hope I did okay, it’s my first time writing these two together, so FINDING MY FEET. 2,300 words. All of my OW universe is here, this takes place after Powerless. 

Pharah was a worrier.

She would never herself have phrased it that way, and if Mercy had put it that way to her, she would have wrinkled her lip in a light scowl, in the way she always did before she took issue with something, shake her head, and tell Mercy that wasn’t true at all, she was no nervous person. But you did not have to quake and shiver to be a worrier, and it was true that Pharah did not sit anxiously, biting her nails and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Instead, she took the shoe out of the hands of whomever might drop it, made herself responsible for the maintenance of all shoes, and refused to delegate much more than whose job it was to turn out the light.

Pharah had a gift for overextending herself and weakness for trusting others with any responsibility. Pharah was loving and steady and conscientious. Pharah would do anything for Mercy, before she even asked, and if Mercy ever had to ask Pharah would count herself a failure and write it down in another line of her Book of Responsibilities, so she would never forget again. Mercy loved Pharah more than she could possibly say, and Pharah had healed her in ways that she had not even known she was broken.

And Angela Ziegler was going to get off of the couch, weak as she was, and murder Fareeha Amari with her bare hands.

It was not that Mercy did not understand. She had come very close to death, and it would be a long, slow recovery, and even as Mercy sat reading her own medical records, she wondered if she would ever be well enough to return to the field. She had frightened Pharah terribly, whatever little Pharah had said about it, and Pharah’s reluctance to leave the house was just another responsibility she gave herself. If Pharah was there, no one would hurt mercy. Not while she still breathed.

But however much she understood, Pharah’s hovering and insistence that Mercy could not so much as sit and read her medical records for more that thirty minutes at a time, despite the fact that Mercy was the one with a medical degree, and felt she knew fairly well the limits of her health, was putting her quite on the edge of her sanity.

She could not tell Pharah to go away for a bit, and the thought of even doing so sent a pang through Mercy’s heart. It was only that Pharah loved her. She could not reject that.

But what she could do, was send a text to Tracer saying Pharah seemed like she might wear a hole in the floor for pacing, and hope that Tracer’s agile little mind would come to a solution.

Help arrived the next day, with a tiny Brit practically bursting through the front door with a bright smile on her face, a workout bag slung over each shoulder.

“Fareeha!” She jumped into the living room, “ere to rescue you, I am. Been without a proper bit of exercise for weeks now--”

“When did we give you a key?” Pharah leaned over the back of the couch where she had been standing by the window.

“--Ang gave me one, don’t interrupt--and isn’t you always saying we ‘ave to be all tip-top, first class, ready for anything? I thought as you might forget that, things being as they are, but--”

“You must let Pharah say yes, if she’s to join you.” Emily gave a giggle from where she was removing her shoes in the entryway, and walked into the living room, kissing Tracer on the head when she reached her.

“Was getting to it.” Tracer nodded “Come on then, ‘ave your bag,” she shrugged her right shoulder, as if Pharah could not see the tag on it herself, “Did the washing for it and everything.”

Pharah shook her head. “Angela still needs--”

“Oh, I’m to stay with her,” Emily gave her shy smile and sat down on the little chair near the window, “You and Lena can go on.” Pharah did not respond, and Emily gave a small nod, “Amn’t I trustworthy?”

“It is not that.” Pharah sighed, “if someone were to--”

“Jesse’s out front there!” Tracer bounced toward Pharah and extended the bag, “Owes me a favor or two, e does, but I will e never does argue the point.” She chuckled, “‘ad to ‘ave ‘im take a bit of an ‘oliday from punching Gabe in the face, as it was. Think ‘e’s working out some emotional issues, tried to tell ‘im there are some lovely therapists in town…., “She looked at Pharah, “well, anyhow, I’m...talk to ‘ear me own voice sometimes, don’t I then, love?”

Pharah’s face had darkened, and grown solemn. Gabri--Reaper, he was, now, was still to be dealt with, held in their cell in the basement of Winston’s home. She had tried not to think about it, the man she had thought of as an uncle, and what he had become. What he had done.

Mercy touched her arm. “Go on.”

Tracer brightened up again, and tossed the bag at Pharah, who caught it with one hand. “I’ve an idea. I’ll run, and if you catch me, you can pummel me, right?”

“I will never run so fast in my life.” She slung the bag over her shoulder and looked down at Mercy, stroking her hair. “You will call me?”

“I do not think I will be needing to call you. But I would.”

Pharah nodded, licking her lip and thinking a moment, then sighed, kissed Mercy tenderly, and headed for the door.

She pushed Tracer playfully as they walked toward the entryway. “You should hope you run fast.”

“Fareeha, love, I know I run fast.”

They left, and Mercy relaxed a little against the high pile of pillows Pharah had arranged on the couch. Tracer was good for her. It was difficult to be too caught up in her own thoughts, the way Tracer needled her and played with her. Mercy had always thought their Overwatch had succeeded when the other had failed, because love had been added. Each of them were members of a family, more than an organization.

The thought made her remember that it was only a few weeks ago, just before all this had happened, where they had been together celebrating Tracer and Emily’s wedding.

“You’ve no need to entertain me, if ye do get a wee bit tired.”

Mercy turned to her voice, and Emily sat perched still on the little chair, her red hair tied back and glistening even in the tiny and sparse patches of London sunlight, her eyes soft and kind, as they always were. When she noticed that Mercy had turned, she got up and walked over to the end of the couch, settling in there, realizing even before Mercy had that it would be less tiring for her to sit straight.

“This should not be your honeymoon.” Mercy smiled apologetically.

Emily shook her head. “Och, we have the rest of our lives, don’t we?” She smiled brightly. “Hana’s gifted us a holiday together, once it all is a bit more settled.”

“I used to say you should not be giving someone so young so much money, but,” Mercy gave a soft shrug, “she is kinder with it than most would be.”

Emily nodded happily. “I dunna think she’d ever say so.”

“And she would call me a liar for saying it is true.” Mercy looked over to the photo on the back wall, all of them tucked tightly together in front of the unimpressive building that was their headquarters, taken the first day they came to London. “But she is kind.”

“Oh!” Emily got up and padded back to the doorway, grabbing a large bag she’d left there. “Had a thought,. It’s only from something Lena told me, when she was hurt, so if ye’d rather no, I understand.”

She set the bag down on the coffee table, and unloaded a large bowl, a towel, pitcher, and a small bottle of shampoo, decorated with flowers up the side.

Mercy was not about to cause herself the pain of reaching up to touch her hair, but she knew it must be limp and greasy, tied in a loose bun on her head. Emily had always been a favorite of Mercy’s. She was quiet and kind and calm, a perfect match for Tracer’s expressive vibrancy and volume, and the way she loved Tracer came out in every thing that she ever did. But as much as she had loved her before, Mercy was not certain she ever had, or ever would again, love her as much as this moment.

She blushed slightly. “It should be very dirty.”

Emily set the towel down next to Mercy and smiled, giving a little giggle. “Day before last, a student handed me a dead bird. Bit of grease to your hair won’t phase me. Would you like it?” She looked at Mercy, waiting. Emily would never have done anything without anyone’s okay, if they were not sure, if they were uncomfortable.

“Please.” She hoped she looked as grateful as she felt, in that moment.

Emily popped over to the kitchen, only a few steps away, and began to let the water come to temperature. It was funny, Mercy often thought, that so many of them fell in love with someone in the same business, in the constant danger, because it was easier to be understood. There were things you did not have to say. But Tracer had often dated civilians, because Tracer was the bravest person she knew. Tracer was not afraid to explain herself, to give words to the things she’d been through, and hope another person could understand. Maybe because there was no one quite like her, even in their work.

But Emily had been brave, too. She was a beautiful woman, with a good job and a gentle heart, but instead of picking a suitor who she might have had an easy life with, one where they came home at safe hours and where the news was not frightening, she had chosen Tracer. Because she loved her. Because she refused to settle for a candle when she could have a firework, whatever the risks. And she had done it all quite calmly.

Mercy admired her.

Emily carefully set the full bowl down on the table, and then took a few of the pillows out from behind Mercy slowly, taking the bowl and easing her hair into it. She massaged the warm water deep into the roots, and Mercy felt the comfort of it wash over her, closing her eyes and enjoying the knowledge that not only was she being helped, but her wife, as well. It felt nice to know Pharah was cared for, when she could not do it herself.

“And how is your married life?” She felt Emily smile even with her eyes closed, “Barely a month in?”

Emily squirted a bit of shampoo into her hands and rubbed it firmly into Mercy’s hair, the rose and violet of the thick, rich shampoo filling the air. She must have gone to special trouble,because of course she did. That was Emily’s way.

“Not much has changed, I suppose,” she took out the shampoo to the tips, “Lena is still my lovely, we stay in the same house.” she chuckled, “Haven’t yet told my parents I’m taking Lena’s name over mine. My brother, Owen, he approves. He’s always thought kindly of Lena”

“I am sure the Oxtons were delighted, however, to make you one of their own.”

“Amn’t they over everything, though?” Emily giggled, happily this time, her parents’ light shadow over marrying Tracer forgotten in the joy of Tracer’s family for them both.

Mercy gave a soft, small, laugh. “It is true.”

The pitcher rinsed her hair, and Mercy felt the grease and grime fall out of it, wondering if it had lightened three shades in the course of a moment. It was an exquisite gift, and one that no one had thought to give, even with all the casseroles Jack had brought, the laundry service D.va sent, and even Ana’s neatly wrapped gift of fresh pajamas and baklava from the Middles Eastern bakery, freshly made, which was not so much for her as for Pharah, but Mercy would rather Ana gift her, anyhow.

Emily gently teased out Mercy’s hair with a wide-tooth comb, slicking the water out of each bit as well as she could.

“Fareeha must be driving you right mad.” She whispered conspiratorially. “I canna be too judgmental, for I know I’ve been the same with Lena, but I know I’ve driven her right mad.”

“Yes!” Mercy gave a laugh so sharp it hurt, and she had to catch her breath for a moment. She continued, softer, “She is so protective and kind, but I do not need the supervision so constantly.”

Emily nodded as she reached for the towel. “A regular border collie needing a job, is our Fareeha.”

Our Fareeha. It did Mercy’s heart such good to hear those things. As she awoke from her injuries, days after, the haze still settling over her, her first thought had been of Pharah. What would become of her if Mercy was lost. How she would always worry that her determined and dedicated wife would take that hurt and turn it into overwork, into procedure, into long nights spent studying engineering and strategy as her only protection against the loneliness.

But today, Emily and Tracer had proven it didn’t need to happen. They would care for Pharah, in their complementary, utterly opposite ways.

Pharah was a worrier, and nothing would change that, but as Emily gently braided her hair, Mercy remembered that they both had love beyond each other, a sprawling family that would catch them when they fell, and Mercy worried just a little less.

[weapon13whitefang]

So lets call this “Part II” of the “I was tagged by @im-immortal to share my WIPs” and the last list was the “these are in a file and I need to get at them” and this is the “I started posting these then stopped” list... And a little explanation of why I stopped for some.

1.] Baby, I Want You Back [Guardians of the Galaxy] - A human!Yondu and Meredith Quill fic that I know a lot of people were interested in me writing. I myself was very excited about it. So I started writing it out and had a few chapters done before I eventually just kind of died down in interest / ran out of motivation... Also I want this fic to be as authentic to the time period as possible so I have a lot of research I'm doing for thee 70s and 80s since I wasn't around at that time and only know the basic shit, ya know?

2.] The Mark [The Walking Dead] - A soulmate AU featuring Daryl and Beth and Shawn Greene and how one handles and feels about having a soul mark that’s supposed to “tie you” to someone that is supposed to be “perfect” for you... Or is it all just bullshit? That’s the discovery here. I always read these soulmate AUs where once the soulmates find each other, everything is all sweet and good. Which is fine and I love it... But I wanted to try a different route. I still know what I want for this fic just now how to go on with it...

3.] But, Oh, Those Summer Nights [The Walking Dead] - Crossover of Bethyl meets Grease... Really that’s it. I just wanted to mix Grease with Beth and Daryl. Obviously I’m taking some personal liberties with it but yeah, that’s what I wanted to do... I just kinda paused and wrote myself into a corner I’m trying to wiggle out of. Cause I know the movie/play like the back of my hand... Now to remake it and get it not stupid. Because Obviously Drayl isn’t exactly like Danny so I can’t make him completly Mr. Smooth... But I have the next chapter started just need to... Push. Ya know? 

4.] Dizzy With a Canary [The Walking Dead] - Merle/Beth 1930s gangster AU that I was inspired to do after listening to a lot of old rat pack music and from reading the Lackadaisy comics and from reading a book on the last 100 years of my city and seeing all the cool stuff from the 20s and 30s in it... Plus I just like the whole Roaring 20s/30s gangster era and the prohibition act and flapper girls and I was so inspired... But now I’m not sure how I want to go with Beth and Merle and how to lead up to their relationship without it being rushed.

5.] In The Air [The Walking Dead] - This is a Brickyl Werewolf piece that every day I swear I get a message asking when I’m gonna continue and guys I’m so sorry I’m trying I really am... I just can not get the next chapter to feel right at all and it’s bugging the fuck out of me... So I’ve been rereading a lot of werewolf literature and fanfics again so hopefully it helps... Ahhhh!

6.] Gotta Get Underground [The Walking Dead] - Labyrinth meets Bethyl with my own twist that I really wanna play on some of the myths of Oberon and humans and faes as well but that’s a lot of research I’m dealing with so forgive those that actually are into this piece...

7.] Of Angels and Crusaders [The Walking Dead/The Boondock Saints] - This MacManus/Beth piece has done a 180 for how I had planned it out so that’s literally the main reason I haven’t updated... That and my writing style has changed a bit and I needed a break from The Boondock Saints for awhile and just didn’t want to hate this piece because it’s actual;ly my baby and I want to do it justice!

8.] Through The Years [Casper] - Yes a Casper fic staring Kat growing up through the years and undigging the mystery that is Caspers past - including his relation to his Uncles and their past and mixing in a bit of a tense attraction between a ghost and human. Still one of my favorite pieces I started and really want to finish.

And there’s me dragging myself for all the actual pieces I’ve posted and that people want me to finish... I won’t tag anyone here.. I’m just gonna go hide my head in a hole in shame lol!

[myuun]

do you live in nz? is it better than usa?

I do live in New Zealand! 

HMM… In some ways? I haven’t been to many parts of the US, I mostly stuck to the Southern states and have been to just the general touristy states like New York and California… but even then I haven’t seen all that much and I was a teenager and I really… can’t remember perfectly anymore… ;v; oh my god, I really can’t, I’M SO OLD NOW.

I have also not explored a lot of New Zealand, just Wellington (I live here!) and the nearby towns. 

My perspective comes from being raised on a small city in Mexico and studying in a small city in Texas, so I’ll go from there. 

I’ll go from the cons, cause that’s funner! 

CONS OF NEW ZEALAND:

- EXPENSIVE. Expensive. Expensive. If you come with American Dollars you gain more NZ dollars which is great. But the country is damn expensive. I’m used to my groceries for two people go to the hundreds per week. EASILY. Buzzfeed, save your words, I can’t save money on many things. Some things I can (which I’ll talk about in a bit). 

- You pay rent per week. Welcome to hell. Also, getting an apartment is the hardest thing you’ll ever manage to do. Don’t even talk to me about finding a job, even a temporary one. 

- Biggest bummer: NEVER ENOUGH JUNK FUCKING FOOD. NEW ZEALAND HAS THE STOMACH OF AN 80 YEAR OLD. Cheetos? Nope. Rice Krispies? NAH. VARIETY OF CEREALS? NO UNLESS YOU LOVE NUTS AND GRAINS. I have such cravings for shitty food. I miss simple, beautiful greasy food. POUR ME A BOWL OF PANDA EXPRESS ORANGE SHRIMP. Everyday I dream about Chick-fil-a and I weep. This country has things similar… but everything here is very healthy… too healthy. Which I guess its good, but when you are raised on grease, you miss it ya’ll. 

- It can get boring depending on where you are. New Zealand pretty much closes shop… early. In small towns, malls are closed by 5:30PM (a shocking discovery!). Most restaurants, if they serve at night, they close by… 9-10PM. It is shocking if something is open after that, and it is most likely a bar. We are pretty much in by 6PM and if we are out… we are definitely running late or its a blue moon. 

- EARTHQUAKES. This needs no explanation. I hate earthquakes. PETRIFIED. And I live on the top floor and it feels HORRIBLE. No thanks.

- No matter where you go you’ll hit water. My husband loves that we are on an island… I… feel uncomfortable? It’s a small country, we could sink easily if a tsunami hit. This is a bit half and half, it depends on who you talk to. For me, I… I’m not that big into islands. I like land.

- It’s a small country. Again, this depends on who you ask. Some people love it. I personally like it… to an extent. Im at the bottom of the north island and you can get to the top of it within 8 hours. That is… insane. That is HALF THE COUNTRY DOWN. It’s TINY.

- It’s small, so fashion, food, games, fads… all come later for us. So anything trending in the US… we know about it. But we cannot get it until a year later. It’s a cute joke that NZ is always ten years behind.

- The hole in the ozone is right about New Zealand, so you CAN get sunburned on cloudy days. It has happened to me, I swear. There is a SPECIFIC sunscreen made here by the cancer society because skin cancer is so prominent. Wear sunscreen! Fun fact: sun screen is also expensive. 

- It’s an island… and yet fish is expensive as HELL. ????!?!??? wh???!whw??? seafood restaurants? what??? who??? for the rich??? same with milk btw

- Lack of true racial understanding. This is a personal one, which I’ll elaborate on. There are SO MANY FOREIGNERS HERE. So many. But white people are the majority. So a lot of white people… have really strong stereotypes about people of color. I, personally, had never seen such incredible diversity before of religion, race, and nationality so to me, it’s amazing how much I learn, but… its a bit cringy as well how a lot of New Zealanders (especially older ones) are… quite… racist… Then again, this happens everywhere. I just thought with such a colorful variation of population… it would be more… open. And it is! But… ya know… YA KNOW.

- People don’t say bless you when you sneeze. ok I know its a small thing but it BOTHERS ME. 

- People pretty much dress the same… almost… the same. 90s style hipsters.

- So much hipster. 

- HILLS. SO MANY UPHILLS. SO MUCH… WALKING. if you’re into climbing, and foresty, and biking this is the country for you. But I’m not. 

PROS OF NEW ZEALAND:

- No matter where you go, it will always… always be stunning. I have a bit of a mocking attitude when people go to “scenic spots” because I feel it’s a waste of time? Personally… THE ENTIRETY of the country is a giant scenic view. No matter where you look, it’s absolutely beautiful. I look out my window and it faces another building and yet the sky and the trees are gorgeous. 

- The air is so fresh, that it cleared my skin. This is a no-joke, my skin actually got better when I lived here for a month and then went back to Mexico, and it burst into pimples. It’s so fresh here and almost NEVER humid. Sometimes, but its tolerable. 

- There is little, to no danger. We can walk at midnight in fling flang wherever and the likelyhood of me getting robbed is pretty minimal. It HAPPENS but it’s so so so rare. The newspaper writes about your neighbor’s tomato farm (seriously). Not… murders. 

- Animal care and respect is SO MUCH HIGHER here. As a huuuge animal advocate that lives for her animal shelter, the love and outpour people give their pets is amazing. It’s INCREDIBLY RARE.. AND I MEAN… RARE. To see a stray dog. In fact, mark my words, I’ve never seen a single stray dog. Maybe a stray cat, but cats are outdoors here a lot, so probably not. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THERE ISN’T ANIMAL ABUSE. There certainly are. But not as rampant as in the US or Mexico.

- It’s rare to eat bad food. I will honestly say in the three years of me living here… I’ve had shitty food… four times? five? And every other time… its been amazing. Idk what it is. It’s always… worth every penny. So I can tell you, when it’s bad… ITS BAD. It’s hard though, you really can’t fuck up here (well, at least Wellington).

- People are so… so nice. I think nice people are everywhere, but New Zealand is especially nice. SO NICE. 

- The diversity is amazing. I’ve never seen such a colorful city.

- RECYCLING AND KEEP NEW ZEALAND GREEN. It really has encouraged me to be more thoughtful and resourceful and soon I hope my lazy ass can fucking… whats it called… compost.

- Everything is very close by which can be very convenient. It’s a small country, so we are close-knit. 

- OUR PRIME MINISTEERRR. She is as lovely in person (my husband and I are lucky to have a selfie with her) as she is on TV.

- Tons of events, tons of artsy fartsy stuff, so many things to see. New Zealand encourages so much togetherness in their community so tons of events are honestly done by the entirety of the country. Festivals, community services, art stuff… Markets are AMAZIIING. 

- If you’re into health, gyms are cheap and walking is even cheaper. We walk… everywhere and everywhere is close by.

- Bus system is fucky, but certainly very useable. It’s all we take and it gets you everywhere. 

There is SO MUCH MORE IM SURE, but I’m about to have dinner and I can’t think of anymore. ;v; But I hope this answers your question. 

Overall, I do love New Zealand, but there are tons of things I miss about the US… mostly just the food… and all the food. And my family. It’s weird being in a country that is really far away from the world. It feels a bit isolating at times, but the kindness and community shown in New Zealand is fantastic, and I really love this country a lot. ;v; Please if someone here is close to the Chick-fil-a CEO, I’ll donate to have one open in Wellington. We just got Krispy Kreme… in one airport in Auckland.

Someone please sir… a bag of donuts and chick-fil-a waffle fries…

waffle fries i miss you

I don’t think New Zealand is necessarily better than the US because the US has such variety because of all the states and people and natural beauty, but I will say... politics wise, I do think we have a SLIGHT UPPER HAND THERE, SON.