#but im also too invested in my lil guys and the show in general to do that

[chaotic-kitty]

Gods I'm so close to begging someone to spoil the next episodes for me. I'm getting sick from anxiety already and in general I don't cope well with not knowing. All of the reviewers sharing their messages have me *scared* because they're all pretty much saying the same things. And they're not comforting things either😭😭

[timothy-chamlet]

the afterparty - t.c. fanfic

pair: timmy x female reader

warnings: unprotected sex, general smut

word count: 2.6k (2640)

a//n: ok er ive never written for timmy before so im nervous snsvsj but if you read it tell me what u think !! <3

°•○●○•°

people often thought the two of you were dating. paparazzi tended to make it look that way through press. despite all the candid photos of you and timothée plastered in magazine spreads and floating around on blogs, he would tell people you weren't together. interviewers would ask, and time again he would put an end to the rumor by saying you weren't dating, you were just friends. 

to be fair, you honestly couldn't even be mad at him. it was a good marketing tactic, at least. if all the girls knew he was single they'd still be invested in the persona of a young, attractive starlet that - despite his more than desirable qualities - is still single. genius. meanwhile you were being his best friend and his trophy for award shows. 

it was growing on you though. you enjoyed walking red carpet events and going to extravagant parties and meeting big names in the industry. it was really a win-win for both of you. 

another one of those win-win situations was tonight. the past three days had been crazy. hair appointments, nail appointments, dress fittings, photoshoots, brunches, and dinners. running each new day on an hour of sleep - maybe two if you were lucky. fueled by energy drinks and the promise of rest after the event. showing up to an awards ceremony on nothing more than a 20 minute nap and a double shot espresso. being timothée's showpiece was exhausting. but it was good for you. 

you had just finished your last consultation for dress fittings and were on your way to your styling appointment. the dress would arrive shortly after you so everything was ready to go. things were set for timothée to meet you there in an hour or so, after his own styling. 

currently you're getting your makeup done. a swarm of professionals all around you, handing products, giving directions, telling you how gorgeous you look, at least three hands on you at all times. after almost an hour all the disembodied hands move from your face to reveal the *almost* finished product. you still need your hair done, but your face was flawless. your skin was insanely smooth; not a pore in sight, your lids were a bronze shade, and your lips were a perfect nude. 

a hair stylist soon steps into view, also admiring your makeup before diving into your hair. it was simple. a slicked back ponytail is all, careful not to draw away from your face and your dress. 

the strong aroma of hairspray clouds you as you maneuver to step into your dress. stripped of your previous clothes, you step into your dress and a couple people help you pull it up. the woman attending to the supper in the back steps away for a moment, seeming to answer a question. 

"what's his name?" she asks into her ear piece. "uh yes. she's in here with me. send him in."  

she returns behind you and does up the zipper to your dress. to your surprise, you see timothée waltz in the room. dressed in a charcoal gray suit with a light lavender button up underneath. "y/n," he exhales, walking towards you. "you look breathtaking, ma ch��rie." 

"you don't look too bad yourself, timmy," you say, stepping down from your pedestal to be almost eye level with him.

"is she done here?" he asks everyone around without taking his eyes off you. 

one of the women there swoops in with a pair of shoes and says, "slip in to these and you're ready to go, darling." 

you step into your shoes and link arms with timothée. "carriage awaits," he says as the two of you get escorted to the limo. 

once inside you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding. "you okay?" he asks from beside you. 

"yeah, just.. tired." 

he chuckles and drops his head. "absolutely exhausted." you two had similarly scheduled days so he knows exactly how you feel. "don't worry, mon amour, i'll have you home in about 8 hours." 

"i thought the awards show was only 4-" 

"there's always the afterparty.." 

you audibly groan and drop your head as timothée places a reassuring hand on your knee. 

"we're here," he says with fake enthusiasm as the limo pulls up to the event. the past 45 minutes felt like hours as your head began to pound from the lack of sleep. yet, lucky you, 45 minutes in l.a. traffic was a miracle. 

the two of you step out into the scene. flashing lights from camera flickers, the general buzz of the crowd, people you knew trying to get your attention, people timothée knew trying to get his attention. being the kind person he is, he doesn't shy away from fans calling his name. he walks over to give high fives, say hi, sign things, and really interact with the people that are so invested in his career. you look at him with a fond smile on your face as he greets  people.  

"timothéeeee," you both hear and turn around to match the loud booming voice to a face. 

"armieee!!" he yells in response, hurrying over to hug his co-star. 

you stand idly by as the two hug and catch up. fiddling with your ponytail and the skirt of your dress. until that same voice catches your attention. 

"bring it in hot stuff!" 

"hey, armie! how've you been, handsome?" you two had only met a handful of times, but it's like your souls clicked instantly. he had kept in touch since the first time you met and you guys had been pretty close ever since. 

"oh i’m doing great. really. just excited for this evening. can't wait to see how many awards lil' tim brings in," armie ends with a light laugh before timothée chimes in. 

"oh god no-" 

a cheery voice interrupts the conversation. 

"helloooo," armie's wife says in a sing-song voice and joins his side. "nice to see you again, y/n. and congrats timmy on your nominations." 

you and timothée nod in response and utter small, nervous 'thank you's' before armie excuses the two of them, promising to catch up later. 

"well, well, well- this is it, timmy." you say from your seat next to him. the host reads the nominees for best breakthrough of the year, and timothée's name is mixed in with so many other talented actors. he nervously puts his hand over yours. "you are absolutely amazing. everyone knows that. you're gonna get it." he looks at you and you pass him a reassuring smile. 

"and the award for best breakthrough goes to… timothée chalamet!" 

his head shoots up in shock. cameras pan around him and his baffled expression appears on huge screens behind the stage. he slowly stands from his seat and makes his way to the stage. making a beautiful speech, thanking almost everyone he's ever known. giving gratitude to everyone he's ever worked with, his parents, and his best friends. he comes off the stage and returns to his seat beside you. a year runs down his cheek, and you move to wipe it away, but he grabs your hand away from his cheek only to press his lips to your knuckles. "thank you for always believing in me." 

"you're an amazing actor and an even better friend. 

the night was nearing an end. people were saying their goodbyes and their 'see-you-soon's and going their separate ways. you and timothée walk out of the event, arms linked, with his hands tightly gripping his award. the smile never leaves his face. "i can't fucking believe that, y/n."

"you did it, timmy! all you and your hard work. lemme pick a nice spot on your shelf for it yeah?" 

"i was thinking about sitting it on my dresser right above the drawer full of your shit you keep leaving at my house," he says with a barely visible smirk. 

"oh, well if it's such a problem," you begin "i guess I'll just have to come get my 'shit' then?" you finish sarcastically. 

"oh! how dare you?" he begins to shout, going on a tirade similar to that of hamlet; overly dramatic and mostly nonsensical. "leave them be! small, small remnants; reminders of thee." he trails off softly, dropping his head to your shoulder and bringing his other hand up to trail his fingertips down the side of your face. 

you can't help but chuckle at this. "bravo timothée! amazing performance." 

he straightens up before taking a bow and returning to his previous position on your shoulder. "do you wanna skip the afterparty?" 

"and do what, tim? i thought you were gonna catch up with armie?" 

"i dunno- go to my place?" 

you nod your head, and timothée let's the driver know to just go to his house. 

you get out of the car in front of his apartment, quickly thank the driver, and dash inside; excited to remove the day. "can i shower?" you ask quickly already making your way upstairs.

"oui, mon trèsor, make yourself at home. ill be up in a while." it was almost as if he had it scripted. a routine more or less. you'd ask to shower - despite him telling you almost each time you never had to ask - and go up stairs to do so; him trailing along about an hour later behind you. 

you finish your shower earlier than planned so you decide to lay on his bed until he comes up. you let your freshly washed body relish in the textures of the cotton t-shirt and shorts you're wearing and the damp-cool feel of the comforter on his bed. 

you're not left alone for long before he darts up the stairs and into his room, catching your attention. you watch as he walks around, dropping various articles of his clothing haphazardly on his floor. left in only his boxers. 

"timmy?" you ask in a drawn out voice. 

"hm?" he asks lowly in response; his eyes trained on you. you don't respond to his muffled question and instead watch as he comes to lean over the foot of the bed, by your legs. "i've been thinking," he continues, "a lot recently. about us.." 

"us?-" 

"about what the media thinks we are. what the people say. the blog posts, the tweets. i read it all… what do you think about it, y/n?" he ends with a light sigh, making drawing light swirls on your leg. 

"i dunno really. i've never thought much about it," you say sitting up. 

he moves up from his place in front of the bed, crawling up to sit to the right of your legs. knees drawn up to his chest, eyes meeting yours. he raises his hand so his fingertips ghost the curve of your cheek. "you never think about.. the possibility of us?" he pauses as his eyes drift from yours. hands falling to his lap as he scoots even closer to you. you sit stunned, not knowing how to answer as if it was some rhetoric instead of a simple question. filling the silence, he continues. "i think about how different things would be if we were together. what it would be like to hold you and kiss you and- can i kiss you?" 

his voice wavers as his eyes meet yours yet again. with quick movements, he moves to straddle your legs, both hands resting lightly on either side of your face. 

"can i kiss you?" he asks again, his face millimeters from yours. 

you shake your head yes as your eyes fluttering closed, your lips brushing against his as you move. 

he plants his lips firmly on yours. innocent at first, but the kiss quickly gets deeper. more desperate, his hands moving from the sides of your face to tangle in your hair, pulling your head back giving him access to your neck. his lips dance around the skin of your neck, being careful not to leave any marks. “is this okay?” he whispers, dragging his hands from your hair to the hem of your shirt. 

you nod your head vigorously and he pulls your shirt up and over your head, throwing it to the floor with his clothes. you lean back and give timothee free reign of your chest and stomach. he makes his way from your neck down and across your chest. your hands rush to knot in his hair as he takes a nipple in his mouth, carefully flicking his tongue across the hardening bud before doing the same to the other. 

"timmy.." you breathe out as he leaves your chest and explores lower. his eyes meet yours as his teeth come into contact with the flimsy waistband of your sleep shorts. "please," you whisper. 

he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and pulls them down your legs; eyes going wide when he sees you have nothing underneath. 

"so pretty," he whispers almost to himself as he throws your shorts in his floor with the rest of your guys' clothes. he runs his finger along your slit, collecting some of your wetness, tasting it. laying back down with your legs over his shoulders, he hooks his arms around your thighs to keep you in place. he runs his tongue along your folds and you arch your back in response. he sucks on your clit making you squirm and tangle your fingers tighter in his hair, pushing against his face, eager for more. 

"tim-... timmy," you beg.

timothée kisses his way back up your body. "hm?" he hums softly beside your ear only for you to utter another weak 'please' in response. 

"please… please what, mon amour?" 

"baise moi.." you didn't know much french. you had picked up on a few of timothée's most used phrases, but this you hadn't learned from him, so it caught him off-guard. stuck in a moment of shock. hearing you say something so dirty in french felt so strangely intimate; you didn't have to ask him twice. 

he slips his boxers, finally accompanying you in nakedness, and slips into you, moaning at the feeling of you around him. 

"fuck.. timmy-" you groan as he picks up his pace. he coos sweet nothings into your ear while drilling into your core. 

his head drops to your chest and the soft, sweet praises slowly turn into obscenities. "merde," he groans, picking up his pace even more. holding himself at arms length above you, he throws his head back; lips parted in pure bliss. 

you lift one of your hands to trail down timothée's torso. you lazily drag your fingertips across his chest and down to his stomach. the pleasure building inside you, your hand finds its way to your clit. “timmy... fuck! ple- please don’t stop. fuuuuuck!” 

“défaire pour moi, y/n.” you didn’t think french could ever drive you to orgasm, but when it came from timothé anything was possible. you convulse around him as your wave of pleasure washes over you. timothée reaching his own peak soon after, pulling out and emptying on your stomach. he quickly finds something to clean you up with before plopping down on the bed beside you. many silent moments pass - nothing but heavy breaths leaving either of you - before he speaks up. “you know,” he begins in a soft whisper, “i felt bad- like i was using you. just to go to events with me. i know you don’t really like them but-” 

you cut him off and turn to face him. “i might hate going to those award shows, but they’re a little less bad with you around.” 

he breaks into a wide smile and pulls you closer, putting his head on your stomach. "mon amour, je t'ai toujours aimé." you reach down to play with his curls and begin to drift off on your way to sleep. 

[rhydium]

Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

[nofliight]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stole it from @sternenteile​ and honestly others tbh tagging: TAKE

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ for better or for worse, he’s THE face of kid icarus, after all. he’s a dork and funny and likeable and even if the fandom tends to get him WRONG (thanks smash bros) there’s no denying his popularity ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i don’t??? think so??? most people are too busy talking about how they think he’s like 5 ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ EVEN THE FANDOM AIN’T GONNA MESS THIS UP. MAN FIGHTS GODS. CALL THAT WEAK. ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ make no mistake - pit’s got fans and plenty of them but he’s so MISTREATED by the fandom. his character is a lot more complex than he gets credit for and smash bros in particular is a big reason people think he’s just Big Dumb Baby Man ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. [ HE’S THE MAIN CHARACTER, THE CENTRAL FIGURE UPON WHOM THE NARRATIVE IS STRUCTURED AROUND, YEAH HE’S PRETTY RELEVANT. Uprising is literally made to tell the story of a war exclusively through the perspective of a single side and Pit (and Palutena) are the EMBODIMENT of that whole side. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ and a perfect one at that. he’s literally a perfect protagonist don’t tell me i’m wrong cause i’m not ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ pit is beloved by humans... and mocked by the Gods. seen by most as a spineless extension of palutena’s will, most “respect” of any variety goes to palutena while he gets treated as a joke 99% of the time... and it’s not like Palutena gets too much respect either ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (????) [ Uhhhhhh... it’s an odd one. Short answer is that Pit’s a good samaritan who’s done a lot of good BUT most of the gods think protecting humanity is a Folly and a Joke and that Pit’s just a pawn of Palutena’s and while the humans do hold a lot of respect for him, uh............. let’s just say, some humans on the surface have reasons not to be too happy with him. ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  about as much as I need to to respect one of my favorite video games of all time. while kid icarus uprising is a comedic game most of the way through it has a lot more nuance and depth to itself, its world, and its characters than one can see at first glance, even after a full playthrough. if you let yourself get invested in the characters, take a closer look at the dialogue it provides, and acknowledge the central, core storytelling message of the game for what it is, there’s a lot more to pull out than one would think. that being said, it’s still a comedic video game and one that I think could use some more expansion. though the game is inconsistent there seems to be the consensus that pit is like a child and I’m not into that, mine’s a bit more showing in his cynical and snarky side after all he’s been through and overall there’s a lot of expansion on the base while building it into something unique.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  imagine your typical bootstrapped anime protagonist. someone who, when younger, was a runt who couldn’t meet the expectations of others, was looked down on, and found himself crushed and hurt and near-killed by a great tragedy that he was forced to claw his way out of to make himself stronger. Now imagine all of that with a character who comes out still able to have a very real smile and ultimately comes out of it a self-assured, chipper goofball with a good heart. now put that together with all of the darkness and depth you would have expected to be there, but scattered realistically throughout the attitude of someone who does genuinely want to keep a positive attitude. someone who is sincerely an optimist who’s grown past his weaker days, but isn’t quite so simple as he’d like to believe. all of that combined with someone who can’t read, is willing to eat ice cream off the floor in times of duress, is extremely easy to fluster and can channel his goddess’ power to slay GODS? you got one strong man.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  his positive attitude is what most people will see when speaking to him, because for what it’s worth, he’s not actively lying about his depth. he’s a cheerful, jovial man with a big smile and a love of the world around him - which is all well and good, but his depth is something you have to find, even if it is reasonably clear if you’re willing to look. he’s also portrayed as a bit unreasonably dumb at times, and though I personally justify the worst of it with proper explanations, I can understand reducing some of the value of the character in favor of seeing all of his Jokes

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  i made my original pit blog, flightlesswarrior, on a total whim after playing kid icarus uprising. cute character, fun premise, why not? but over time, and with numerous plots I was able to take part in exploring the serious, not so serious, shipping, tragedy, and going back through the game to keep my muse rolling, it occurred to me more and more with time just how nuanced and interesting pit and co. really are. pit embodies many of the things i really, truly love in a protag, falling firmly on the side of good, having a heart of genuine gold, and having nuances and parts of his personality that are less than savory without making him seem like a contradiction. he’s got depth, he’s got story, there’s a lot to explore and flesh out... and he’s also just a nice, friendly guy who gets along well with others. plus, i’m drawn to dorks.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  a) love for Kid Icarus: Uprising. a game that helped me gain a deeper and more insightful understanding of character development, subtle storytelling, optimism still tinged with legitimate and healthy cynicism, and overall something that changed my understanding of character development and storytelling forever. and b) spite. the fandom treats him like an idiot baby and smash DOES NOT help matters so i have to remind others that he is a veteran of a war, a socially inept loser with few real friends, and someone who’s kindness and optimism was shaped and molded by its hardships in a way that doesn’t require a near-breaking point or a reminder that “this guy could be evil you know” to show how someone can still keep a positive attitude in spite of all the shit life throws at him.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO [ i’d like to think i have?? but i also acknowledge that he’s become something of his Own in some ways that do intentionally diverge from sakurai’s intentions. ultimately though, even though i may not play him completely true to text, i try to be as loyal as i can be to the spirit of the character. ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ when i can!! but??? the problem is my mind really, really likes to reiterate the Same Damn Points i have to make with characters that draws me to them - and you know, writing the same hcs over and over is generally considered poor form?? ngl i also prefer to let the writing do the talking unless it’s something that’s not gonna show so 90% of the time pit’s open enough that all but the darker sides of his mind are lain out before you. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ maybe??? once or tWICE???? but i need to write more ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ I REALLY DO, HOO MAMA. i have a lot of thoughts about him, his depth, potential relationships, goofy thoughts, more serious fanfic ideas im never gonna write and don’t get me started on how many SHIPS i have to think about for him ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO [ my portrayal is made out of spite for portrayals in the fandom and some supplementary material that gets him wrong - it’s kinda hard to do that without the confidence ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / ??? [ it’s uhh........ complicated??? i don’t think writing is my expertise, tbh. but it is the best way i have to show the passion i have for characters, by putting their nuances into actions, by allowing them to shine from who they are their core, by exploring relationships and scenarios and struggles and hope and everything that can flesh a character out. whether or not i’m a good writer is something i’m still sorting out - but i’m proud of my ability to develop a character, and to that end i feel like i’m doing fine ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ on one hand......... very. i have a tendency to overthink everything i do and look back at moments i made an ass of myself that keep haunting me throughout my day - they haunt me. i only have two fears: what my immediate friend group thinks of me and the crushing existential weight of worrying one day i’m gonna ruin everything i am SOFT. that being said, i’m also hardheaded and stubborn and i’m not afraid to go off on someone i don’t have much respect for if it comes down to it. i’m easy to anger when it comes down to it you know i guess that proves the point huh i’m not stonefaced at all ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  i try to? it’s a bit touchy for me I admit just because I do take portrayals and try to make them my own, but i am willing to listen if someone has any points they’d like to make that i haven’t acknowledged properly. if criticism IS had, lemme know, i do wanna hear it!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —   Y  E  S

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  not that everyone who disagrees with my opinions has to explain themselves of course, but i do sincerely like the chance to learn if something i’m doing doesn’t quite feel right. even if it’s one-sided and i’ll come to disagree, i’m happy to listen! even if i don’t agree with the disagreement head-on, i like to keep them in mind and see what i can shift around to acknowledge them if necessary

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — neutral?? i mean don’t be mean about it, but if you just think my pit doesn’t seem right or it doesn’t click right with your muse i’m not gonna throw a fit about it. everyone’s allowed to view a character in their own way - and even if i may get salty about those who oversimplify him, it IS anyone’s right to view him how they will.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — agree to disagree tbh. i can’t pretend it wouldn’t disappoint me, but it’s not like, worth ending a friendship over or anything. everyone’s got their own viewpoints to run on

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  sure, within reason! i take pride in my grammar but i know that with my fast typing and often running on only a few hours of sleep some problems do slip in through the cracks. while i generally either catch them or just Die with them i’m all ears if i mess up

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  uhhhhhhhhhh well i’m?? kind of a socially anxious mess honestly which DOES make being easy going a bit difficult BUT i do try and be friendly and sociable as i....... can. i’m too scared to talk to people and CAN say some dumb things but i’m not a hardass or anything!! i like to talk and Yell and shitpost and pretty much do anything but write tbh DHFLKSJDF

[courtedclover-a]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   i thief  tagging:    anyone that sees this on their dash & wants to do it :)

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK 

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK 

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?  YES / NO / IDK [ if i had a dollar every time someone calls clover a side character or diminishes clover by calling him a knight in shinning white armor or saying qrow would be dependent on clover’s semblance or clover is the solution to all of qrow’s problems, i could buy the entire state of texas ] 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO / UNSURE 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG / 

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL 

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?  fuck canon my oc now. okay look i just think if you’re going to make a foil compliment character to one of the main characters can you at least keep them for more than one season? 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. name a sexier middle aged adult male character in rwby other than clover and qrow i’ll wait. clover mfing ebi has big strong arms, wide chest with pillow sized tits, pretty green eyes, tight af uniform--all for no reason but im grateful. his fighting style is the first, i believe, to use a non-lethal weapon. in rwby every weapon is a gun, bazooka, or flamethrower etc. shitty af atlas is described as the america of remnant and the kingdom is known to make robots and guns and ships--even the general wields guns but my man clover out here fishing the grimm. name me another character with a non-gun weapon i’ll wait. clover’s known to keep a kind yet professional distance with everyone until qrow branwen showed up. clover was the one person qrow could be himself with and i say this with a non-shipping bias. qrow didn’t need to be uncle qrow, or qrow branwen of ozpin’s inner circle, or qrow branwen of former team strq, or qrow the drunk, or qrow the lone wolf, or qrow who brings misfortune--NONE OF THAT! qrow could be himself when he was with clover and again i ask you to name me another character, that we the audience have seen, qrow was able to be himself with i am waiting. clover was the one person we as the audience could see qrow have an engaging and honest relationship with and as qrow was learning who clover was, we the audience were too, and they took all that away to be “ooohhh we kool storytellers we use shock as a device” maaaan you could almost say clover des--

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). cop. he was a cop and i hate it. they made an elite law abiding cop team have three poc on it? okay. they made the leader of this cop team have a sort of captain america base, but forget steve rogers in the first avenger dropped his uniform mid-war to go rescue bucky?? steve even has a scene where he’s asking his superior to go save his friend and he still goes to save him when he’s denied and THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY to say clover is pre-winter solider steve???? just say you planned clover’s death since the beginning and i’ll go. 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? despite clover being the fisherman’s luck aesop tale and having a fishing/ocean motif, when i learned clover also has a bird motif too, like his hair and weapon is a kingfisher, i was like ‘oh, i guess clover and qrow really are foil compliments. that’s cute.’ and here we today still crying about fg and clover ebi 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  spite. i see clover reduced as a piece to qrow’s story/development and im like SIKE. i literally made pets headcanons for clover like a day ago. gotta make my own food. 

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? 

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF?

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO 

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF?

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT 

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   i don’t mind at all as long as you are nice and understanding. if something it incorrect to his character building then by all means i don’t mind being corrected. representation matters. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  of course! i do not mind questions at all to anything about my muse! i love talking about him and it makes me so happy that you're interested in my muse! i’d love you for it tbh 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  not really. plots, threads, meta, and opinions about the canon show are totally okay to talk about and discuss and even disagree, but my muse and my headcanons? please do not even try. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?  the unfollow and block buttons are literally right here. for free. for your convenience. literally do me the favor.  

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  literally shut your computer off damn. they’re all fake. these characters are all fake. it’s all pretend my guy. relax. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? i don’t mind at all as long as you are nice and understanding about it. english and spanish sometimes flip flop between my one brain cell. 

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? i think i am. i am shy, i don’t usually start conversation easily or keep them going. i think im funny. i always say yes when ppl ask for certain plots/thread/ideas and i know im slow and annoying.   

[kyufiber-moved]

hey hi helloo~ so,,,you kinda seem like you know lots of kdramas,,,,and i wanted to ask you,,,if you could recommend me some of your favorites? tbh anything would be fine kdjs it can be something where i can cry my heart and soul out or something really cute! that's totally up to you (but something where i can absolutely get emotionally invested in that it shatters my heart is what i probs need rn tbh 😩✊🏻)

this is my time to shine 🤓🤓🤓 i DEFINITELY CAN !!! esp for my favorite follower 😔💕 also this is gonna be pretty long bc i gave a lot of info for each drama so i’ll put a read more~!

_ MY PERSONAL FAVS _

go ho’s starry night- a chinese-korean collaboration drama starring snsd's yuri, kim youngkwang (the secret life of my secretary), and lee jihoon (legend of the blue sea) - go ho (yuri) is a dedicated worker who deals with her grumpy boss and quirky coworkers. she requests to be transferred to a different team, where she discovers her new boss is her ex-boyfriend, and then basically there forms a harem of 5 of her coworkers who all like her- super fluffy!! episodes are only about 15 minutes long each, and although there is angst, there's a lot more comedy and fluff. the relationship between the two main leads is adorable and had me squealing way more than once

put your head on my shoulder- a chinese drama starring fair xing (master devil do not kiss me) and lin yi- si tu mo is a bubbly girl who moves into a house only to find out that the owner's nephew (?), gu wei yi,  is already living there, and the two end up living together. si tu mo is sweet and outgoing, while gu wei yi is quiet and intellectual- SO cute. although the plot seems cliche, the focus is not really on them living together, that's just what brings them together originally, and the main lead isn't the stereotypical "cold and super smart asshole" type, he's actually very sweet. there are a lot of episodes but i would definitely recommend watching this!

like- a korean webdrama that you can find on youtube starring kim yu an, kim kangmin (maybe, maybe not), yoo jungwoo (love after school), and seo ji hye- about a group of students who create a film club to make youtube videos and the dumb shit they get into, plus there's some romance, betrayal, and fuckboys. - so so so so cute honestly. the dynamic between the characters of the club is so cute and funny, plus the love triangle has me wheezing. also the asshole fuckboy gets what he deserves which is super satisfying. it hasn't finished airing yet, but so far it's really cute

failing in love- korean webdrama  you can find on youtube starring son sang yeon (triple fling), yang hye ji, and shin yoon seop- about a group of high schoolers who deal with falling in love, crushes, rejection, etc.- ok so the summary i gave was pretty vague but that's because any more and i'd be exposing the whole plot. there is humor and fluff but also teenage angst, and the characters are all more complex than they first appear. i would highly recommend this show !!!

i have 3 boyfriends- short webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim ji eun, park sungwoo (produce 101 season 2 [that 30 year old dude who danced to rain's song OMG], moon jihoo, and lee jungsik - when la hi gets in a car accident and wakes up with amnesia she finds that she has 3 men all claiming to be her boyfriend.- OK LISTEN . this show is so funny and cute. let me just say: you MUST watch to the end. that's all i'll say. pLS WATCH

last minute romance- two episode drama special starring han seung yeon (age of youth) and lee seo won (the liar and his lover)- when baek se finds out she has terminal cancer and only has a short time to live, she desperately wants to complete her one bucket list item: date her favorite actor. it's then that she meets an aspiring actor who looks exactly like her favorite actor- so cute and very short, so you won't spend ages trying to finish. it is very fluffy, cute, and funny, but has an underlying tone of sadness because the main female lead has cancer and will eventually die. also her best friend is a monk??? the ending is bittersweet but very fitting

want more 19- a short webdrama you can find on youtube starring jung ha joon, sin gi hwan,  jeon yoo rim, nam yoon soo, and lee jungha- a story of 5 friends in high school. A mutual crush, a one-sided love, and a rough patch for sweethearts, all taking place right around the end their senior year- OH GOD i can't breathe this drama is so cute. it had me squealing every single episode, and it's very lighthearted with hardly any angst 

splash splash love- a two episode drama starring kim seulgi (queen of the ring) and highlight's doojoon (radio romance)- right before her ksat, danbi is transported to the past during a freak rain shower and is mistaken for a eunich (which, in korean, is the same word for high school senior) . due to her knowledge of future math, the king enlists her to teach him mathematics and they fall in love- a lowkey parody/remake of the kdrama love in the moonlight but if you added time travel into the mix and took out nearly all the angst. SO cute and funny, and has a happy but open type ending

something about 1 percent (2016)- korean drama starring jeon so min and ha seokjin (drinking solo)- lee jae in is an arrogant company heir, whose wealthy grandfather who decides to grant all his wealth to a kindly elementary school teacher. to only way for anyone else to get the money is for someone to marry her, but they devise a contract that changes it to date for 10 months. although they hate each other at first, they eventually fall in love- this drama is super cute and the kisses are AMAZING. there are crazy exes and all that but the couple's dynamic is super cute and they quickly warm up to each other

triple fling (s1)- a short choose-your-own-ending  korean webdrama on youtube starring jung bomin, son sangyeon (failing in love), themanblk's jeongyou, and themanblk's eom sewoong- lee sehee accidentally becomes friends with the three most popular boys in school and ends up in a love square with them- alright im whipped for stuff like this so naturally i loved it. i also really liked how viewers could choose their own ending as for which boy she chose. there is a second season that i haven't seen yet that focuses on another girl in ANOTHER love square (containing one of the guys from sehee's love square) in which it shows which boy she actually did choose (and it was my favorite so . yay!)

weightlifting fairy kim bok joo- a korean drama starring lee sungkyung (cheese in the trap) and nam joohyuk (who are you: school 2015)- a drama about a female weightlifter who falls in love. persuing the relationship would jeopardize her weightlifting, and focusing on weightlifting would jeopardize her relationship with her crush.  she and her group of friends deal with one-sided crushes, athletic pressure, and self-love.- i watched this drama in full in only two days, and loved it. seriously, it's funny, cute, sad, and just a generally AWESOME drama. plus it takes a lot of cliches and makes fun of them or turns them on their head

when you love yourself (s1)- a short webdrama you can find on youtube starring jung mingyu (sweet revenge 2) and saet byeol . - about a girl who is heavier than her classmates who struggles with self-love and self-acceptance, and along the way finds love- god. i can't even explain how much i loved this drama. the message is wonderful and there's no moment where she glows up and loses weight and then gets the guy's attention or anything: he simply loves her as who she is, no matter what weight she is, and is supportive. there's also an episode that focuses on the queen bee girl who also struggles with weight and self-love and it's just beautiful 

after school: lucky or not (s1)- short drama starring 5urprise: kang tae oh (my first first love), seo kang joon (are you human too), gong myung (drinking solo), lee taehwan (w: two worlds), and yoo il, as well as kim so eun (our gab soon)- when so eun gets an invite to the choose-your-mission club, she meets 5 chaotic guys that she becomes friends with, but there's something they aren't telling her.- yes, there is a lil romance and a love triangle HOHO. ok but seriously this drama is the most crackheadery i've ever seen like. genuinely i was just wheezing so hard every episode because of the dumb sh*t the guys were doing and so eun's reaction. this drama seems dumb and funny at first, but there are emotional moments as well as some angst relating to the love triangle and the origin of the club. please do watch this show !!! (don't recommend season 2, though)

accidentally in love - a chinese drama starring amy sun (the eternal love), fiction guo, and ma li- chen qingqing, who is raised by her grandfather) is arranged to be married, but wants to find love on her own terms. on the day of the wedding, she runs away to the university her parents attended to find out more about their death. to hide from her grandfather, she changes her appearance drastically and enters university. her new deskmate turns out to be singer si tu feng, whom she has already run into and has gotten off on the wrong foot with- so this drama was longer than the ones i usually watch but it was worth it. it was cute and they didn't drag out the couple not getting together for ages like some dramas tend to do. the romance was super cute and the female lead's undeterred determination to march to her own drummer was amusing. the only thing i didn't like is that they didnt give the side couple enough screentime bc they were super cute too

my woofy poofy love / my dog-like dating- a short korean webdrama you can find on youtube starring chae ji an and kim do hoon (your imagination becomes reality)- a girl who has recently been cruelly dumped by her boyfriend brings a stray dog back to her home and wakes up to find that instead of a dog, there is a man! she happens to be looking for a roommate, and so this man (who can turn into a dog) becomes her new housemate- literally adorable. female lead is stunning and the relationship is so cute and fluffy and innocent, but the kiss is steamy as hell. 

unrequited love (2019)- a chinese drama starring zhu yan man zi and zhao shun ran- a story of a girl who has secretly loved the same boy for 10 years, but he doesn't know she exists, until one day when they meet in college. so begins their love story, but things become more complicated because of other people- ok so like . damn i love this couple. this drama is really cute but has its fair share of angst, so don't expect an easy ride the whole way through. very cute though !!_ MORE DRAMA RECS _

a love so beautiful- a chinese drama starring shen yue (meteor garden) and hu yi tuan- chen xiaoxi has liked her neighbor jiangchen onesidedly for years, and continues to like him despite his seeming disinterest. but her determination and bubbly personality, as well as a romantic threat starts to cause him to fall for her- aight so . i feel like this drama was dragged out a little bit longer than necessary and then the ending was slightly rushed but!! it WAS a great and super cute drama

ok to be sensitive (s1)- a webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim da ye and kim youngdae (extraordinary you) and others im too lazy to put- focuses on feminist issues like sexism and sexual harassment in a college setting, which each episode focusing on one particular incident and the characters dealing with it- listen so like . this show had me emotional at some points bc of how amazing the message was. it dealt with sexual harassment, sexism, how females are expected to act, stalking, pressure to have sex... etc and basically every episode was like . you can stand up for yourself. you don’t have to “take it” just bc you’re a female, etc. also there was really cute romance uwu

ok to be sensitive (s2)- season 2 of otbs, also can be found on youtube, starring yoo hye in and lee shin young, as well as others but again im too lazy to list them all- same thing as season 1, but a different cast of main characters, and set in an office workplace. (original cast makes a cameo at the end)- the issues in season 2 were definitely a bit darker because it was set in a work place, where the main characters were worried about getting fired if they stood up for themselves, but the way things were handled was really admirable imo. also the male lead in this one is ABSOLUTELY adorable

go back diary- a 4 episode webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim ye ji and lee jong won (jaemin’s webdrama how to hate you)- about a boy who sees a girl at a karaoke bar (?) and instantly develops a crush on her. she then transfers to his school, and it tells the story of their love story after 10 years.- i’ll just say it right now. the whole drama was adorable except for the ending, which fucking sucked. literally was horrible. boycott episode 4 pls i was SO UPSET. otherwise, great webdrama

before we get married- taiwanese drama starring puff guo (just you; we got married w/ suju’s heechul) and jasper liu- tells the story of two people who already have partners and are planning to marry them, only to meet each other and fall in love- bro this show had so much angst i couldn’t even breathe lmfao. but the romantic scenes between the two leads were S T E A M Y let me TELL you. 

love after school (s1)- korean webdrama that can be found on youtube starring park so eun and yoo jungwoo (like)- about a couple who fell in love in high school and their story, told from 5 years later when they meet again- i love love love this bitch. LOVE. season 2 ... we won’t speak of her lol. but season 1 is super cute and the ???? kiss at the end(ish)??? DEAD. literally anything with yoo jungwoo will destroy me but omg. it was fantastic

lucky romance- a korean drama starring hwang jung eum (she was pretty) and ryu joon yeol (reply 1988) - about a woman who believes wholeheartedly in superstitions meeting a man who believes only in science and mathematics, and their very chaotic love story- this show was so funny tbh. the main couple’s dynamic was HILARIOUS and even though they were literally complete opposites they worked so well together. warning: towards the end there’s that whole ‘i have to be noble and let you go bc its for the best’ bullshit but!!! there is a happy ending 

maybe, maybe not- a webdrama starring kim kangmin (like) and gong yoorim- a girl who can read minds and is an outside bc she knows what everyone is really thinking meets a guy that she can’t read the mind of- so fluffy. so cute. oh god. pls watch it’s so soft and cute 

my first first love- a korean drama starring jisoo (strong woman dbs), dia’s chaeyeon (drinking solo), and b1a4′s jinyoung (love in the moonlight)- about a group of friends who all, due to various circumstances, move into their friend tae oh’s house, and find love along the way.- idk why netflix did that dumbass thing where they did mffl 1 and mffl 2 but they’re the same show, just eps 1-8 then 8-16. anyways !! very cute show!! jisoo is fine as hell. taeoh and the rich girl are cute together. i found the ending abrupt and unsatisfying, but overall a good show

thumping spike (s1)- a korean drama starring hwang seung eon (part-time idol) and song jae rim (our gab soon) - about a volleyball team and their coach who are aiming for success, and a female professional volleyball player who becomes their athletic mentor- i know it doesnt sound super romantic but trust me. there is lots of romance, and even a love triangle hehe

u-prince: the single lawyer- a thai drama apart of the u-prince series starring august vachiravit paisarnkulwong and apple lapisara intarasu- firstclass is a straight a student who is strict about punctuality and properness, while minute is a spoiled rich girl who loses all her luxuries when her family files for bankruptcy. she begins “going out” with her gay best friend, aka firstclass’ brother, for money and ends up living in their house, but she and firstclass hate each other- listen all the u prince dramas are cringy and low quality but does it look like a give a shit . NO BC I KEEP WATCHING THEM . they’re cute ok . anyways this was my favorite one so this is the one im recommending yeehaw

unexpected heroes- a short korean drama sponsored by the CDC organ transplant management center, starring btob’s minhyuk, ioi’s sohye, and choi jonghoon- about three high school students who discover that, after their respective organ transplants, they have supernatural powers- though there’s not much focus on romance in this drama, it’s still funny and cute. plus minhyuk is in it and what more can you ask for ?? lol. anyways the trio uses their powers to help solve crimes n stuff it’s gr8 and ive been waiting for a season 2 for 98429834 years

what to do with you- a korean webdrama - that is actually literally an ad for a facemask - starring lee hayoung and kim youngdae (extraordinary you)- saerom and geun are friends, but it feels like they’re something more. will they ever take the next step?- yeah this webdrama is super cute and that’s really all lol. also the bitchy girl in love after school is the best friend in this one oho

your imagination becomes reality- a webdrama that can be found on youtube starring oh se young, kim dohoon (my woofy poofy love), and jin ho eun- soram has a crush on a mysterious upperclassman, and wishes to see him again: she does, soon after. each time she makes a wish, it seems to magically come true. - yeah so like . it’s not a supernatural thing or anything, it’s just a cute college romance that’s basically every girl with a crush’s dream lol~! 

[elizabethrobertajones]

(part 1) this is random but something im curious about is do you think the next few years will see a radical shift in more lead lgbt couples in shows? i feel like when supernatural started it was all about subtext/queerbating between characters we would never see canon (maybe), the last few years have seen an update in more side lgbt characters/couples and while not a lot, more main lgbt characters then we had before. I don't know if tumblr/twitter fandom translates to general audience...

Yeah, I mean, the only way is up. I feel lucky that I managed to encounter a fair amount of queer content in my formative years, whether targeted programming on TV, or taking the route of not really differentiating the perceived cultural value of independent media like webcomics and webnovels etc from the mass media as I was young enough to naturally grow up on the internet as the internet itself was growing up and web 2.0 was pretty much taking off alongside my use of the internet. And that I had liberal parents who didn’t regulate our internet, and lived in a community where culturally I didn’t really fear being discovered casually accessing all this like in particularly this terrifying seeming evangelical christian community in America.

Which really makes me feel like A: everyone should feel that comfortable in themselves via the media as I did as a mass accessible thing or B: that the world at large should be soaked in as much representation and more that I encountered as a curious teen because at the very least it did me no harm and at best helped handhold me through an awful lot. 

And then brings us to the problem that the world isn’t actually like that and for a lot of people their media is restricted one way or another, from everything such as the era of social media weirdly making us much LESS broadly travelled on the internet as I was back in the day (SO many bookmarks - I had like 100 that I would check either daily or on their weekly update schedule, with enough habit that I had pretty much memorised it all without using an RSS feed or just following everyone’s twitter and waiting for update announcements, never mind the vast pit of things which I occasionally checked to see if their sporadic but very worth it updates had occurred somewhere in the last month/year) to the vastly overwhelming amount of media accessible to us. It seems almost to flood the market and creates this panic about watching the worthiest shows and campaigning for them and raising awareness and the FOMO and how things slip by and zomg you have to watch this that and the other, when even just making this list on Netflix now contains more hours of TV than a human lifetime and also one liable to disappear from the service at some point or another without warning. 

And then on top of that you have the absolute cultural monoliths that if you’re not going to have a cohesive culture - which now includes the entire population of the world because of our connectivity on the internet and mass-joining of services - based around smaller shows and stuff, then at the very least everyone is going to watch anything under the main Disney umbrella, other superhero flicks, animated things, and all the really big studio franchises and remakes, as well as a few TV monoliths which manage to get enough people talking to make it seem like “everyone” (again - these days it seems like that’s presumed to be the entire western world plus everywhere else these things air) are watching, like Game of Thrones or whatever… THESE properties are the inescapable ones and on that basis they’re the things we have to lean on the most for representation and then again barely get any, when it comes to gender and sexuality, due to them shooting for such worldwide markets that they can’t imply gay people exist to censors in places such as China. And it exposes the cultural awfulness inherent just in getting a white female character in the lead role of some things, or the absolute garbage fire lurking underneath that if you dare have a black stormtrooper or make one of your female ghostbusters black when you’re already ruining the childhoods of so many how dare… 

In those respects, having side characters who aren’t even major well-known superheroes or jedis or ghostbusters or whatever also be gay (because even well-known lesbian Kate McKinnon didn’t manage to get her ghostbuster to be canonically gay even if we All Knew) would be absolutely groundbreaking, even if it was, like, a role that could be snipped out for the Chinese market or something. And that’s probably exactly what would happen, and cue ensuing riot from whichever fandom, along with everyone rightly pointing out that even for us who got to watch it it was still a tiny side character… I mean Disney is still at the stage of what they did with Beauty and the Beast’s ~canonical gay character~ 

So yeah… that’s thrown back to TV and smaller movies to lead the way and because the generations showing most likely the real global percentages but actually just the young western world stats on queerness in any form (like… 25% instead of 1% or whatever and that’s STILL probably too low) are still teens to young adults. The previous gayest generation above them are still just arriving in power and settling in, and the excellent changes we already have from the generation before that is what we are seeing now... But given THEIR cultural context, even their best can still seem to younger eyes, moderate and not generally placing queer characters in lead roles except in niche or indie or otherwise “acceptable” places to take those risks. I think change is always coming and culturally each generation being more open and accepting that the last is really making changes and so on, hopefully things WILL change rapidly and what was the common state of affairs in the sort of indie media I consumed as a teen will be the mainstream soon because a lot of those creators 10 years later are kicking off… 

All that said, TV in the mainstream is still controlled by Mark Pedowitz types exercising their power over the Bobos who have their Wayward Sisters pitches with the clearly labelled main character for the main teen demographic being queer. The culture is very much that we’re now pretty open and can happily have queer characters, but the main characters are still largely held separate. A good example is Riverdale, which is on the CW, a newer show with writers such as Britta Lundin, who is young, queer, and wrote a novel blatantly based on being a Destiel shipper and fan interacting with the cast and crew in fandom spaces, and whose first solo episode of Riverdale featured a looooot of the gay stuff (yay). 

But while she’s a story editor and writer for the show and can use it as a platform for writing stories for its audience using a whole range of canonically queer characters, the show still keeps all 4 of its mains at a strict remove from this. Cheryl can come out as a lesbian in the second season after a lil ho yay in the first but no clearly marked storyline about her identity, but even though Betty and Veronica kissed in the first episode it was blatant fan service (for Cheryl in-story, lol) and mostly just set the tone that they are the sort of seemingly straight girls kissing for attention while having strong romantic or physical attraction to guys. In the second season the kiss comes up again in joking that Jughead and Archie are the only ones of the main 4 who haven’t kissed, Archie gets one planted on him by a dude as a “judas kiss” moment of betrayal in season 3 and he and Jug are teased that they were expected to get together because they were close but in the same sort of homophobic undercurrent tones as early Destiel snarking from side characters, seemingly less about their relationship and more to unsettle them with implications… I mean it was a complicated moment but in the long run it didn’t seem entirely pleasant to me, especially given the overall emotional state they were in and later plot etc etc. (My mum is 1000% invested in Riverdale now as a former Archie Comics reader as a kid so this is now my life too as I was in the room when my brother callously exposed her to it, hi :P) 

Anyway that’s just one case study but aside from SPN it’s probably the most mainstream teen demographic thing I watch… Other examples would be things like B99 which had Rosa come out as bi and that’s awesome, and made us all cry a lot, but Jake, the clear main character even in a very strong and well-treated ensemble, has a great deal of bi subtext, there’s no way given Andy Samberg’s apparent habit of ad-libbing MORE progressive jokes that he’d ever be intentionally harming people if that’s how his brain works (you know, like other people quick-fire offensive stuff from their mouth working faster than brain sense of humour :P). But at the same time for all Jake’s quipping about crushes and such and the fact the show clearly knows how to be sensitive to bisexuality with Stephanie Beatriz being a strong advocate, just because Jake’s the main character and adorably married to Amy. In NO WAY can that be threatened because they’re SO GOOD, so there’s STILL uncertainty that this will pay off in the same special episode “I love my wife but I am bi” kinda way that seems obvious that could just be said. We all carry on without it affecting anything because obviously Jake’s found his soulmate so we don’t mess with that but they should know it’s important to clarify it… Even with B99′s track record, I’m nervous solely because Jake’s the main character and main characters tend not to get self-exploratory arcs about latent queerness and ESPECIALLY not if they’re happily married. If ANY show was going to do it right and trailblaze in this exact era it would be them, but… gyah :P 

Anyway I guess the conclusion right now is that the more mainstream you are the more uncertain it feels, but we are right at that cliff edge, especially with shows putting in SOME of the work. If B99 doesn’t get us there (or the Good Place where they’ll happily confirm Eleanor is bi in interviews but I believe she hasn’t said it outright on the show despite clearly showing attraction to female characters, again, the denials we know so well in SPN fandom reflect a wider audience view of dismissing this stuff as jokes and not reflective of character feeling and identification without a Special Episode dedicated to confirming it >.>) then we’re very clearly on the cusp of SOME mainstream or massively well-known show doing it at least once in a meaningful way that has an Ellen-style cultural impact on TV writing. 

Let’s make it a goal for 2019 or 2020, and hope that a NEW show with a canonically queer main from the start is pitched and becomes a mainstream hit in the next 5… Still got a ways to go before Disney level mainstream but again there IS work going pushing the envelope, especially if we get a movie of a franchise such as idk Further Legends of Korra, or Steven Universe or something else that’s massively pushed the envelope with sexuality or gender for their main character on the small screen in the experimental petri dish they’ve had there for children’s TV. Something that would force Disney to blink about a lesbian princess or Star Wars to let Finn and Poe kiss or Marvel to let Steve and Bucky hold hands or something in order to remain relevant.

Once the Big Cultural Monoliths get in on it, I expect culture as a whole to first of all react quickly on the small screen, but honestly I’ve been waiting for them to snap pretty much my whole life since adolescence and they’re taking such wee tiny baby steps, and some factors are enormous geopolitical awfulness, that the story as a whole is unpredictable and we can only really hope that things don’t slow down. 

(Where this affects SPN is just impossible to say right now, given its almost unique position in this mess due to longevity vs fandom vs almost entirely new generation of writers’ room) 

[fircbcrn-blog]

      ♕ —  henlo once again all, it is i charmi ur local muse machine, this is my precious and pure son jia ‘emrys’ xinya and below the cut you can learn some fun lil facts about him, a link to his stats page can be found here and i will sort a plot page out for him at some point soon but for now i’ll put a few plot bunnies at the end of this and brainstorm !! if you want to plot pls like this or reach out to me and i shall message u quickfire, without further ado :  

so rhys is like this edgy biker boy but with a heart of gold who is rlly a super big softie, he just looks like an intimidating biker boi with his style.

he falls in love with everything but i don’t mean like he’ll fuck anything with a pulse kind of love or oh wow u were nice to me and now i adore u and want to run off into the sunset, i mean he’s just in love with the world around him i mean it’s a shitty fuckin place sometimes but he sees the small beauties in it, the miracles of nature and human behavior that isn’t learned but just inherent to us and he thinks its fuckin magical so sue him

 very wise and mature and down to earth as a person, despite being super popular because he just comes across as very cool and easygoing and in general easy to get along with plus he’s a total heart throb in the modelling world. 

pretty artsy for a living, very much a creative soul. he paints and sketches and can mould things and he does actually commission it and earn a decent amount from it but his main career and income comes from the modelling definitely. bc ya know business for artists in general just isn’t amazing even for the richer few. 

super in touch with the world and at peace with himself, like he is an immovable force nothing you say or do to him will upset him bc he’s just like lol that’s ur opinion and perspective ig and ur entitled to it so go off but imma do me thanks. 

pansexual iCoN although he does lean more towards homoromantic, he will love anyone pretty down who he can see something good in and he can see good in basically anything other than actual dictators obviously.

guru of life advice, people often come to him because he offers a sense of stability and security without getting his own emotions attached just from his presence alone and the atmosphere he surrounds himself with. 

exudes charisma and magnetism we stAn, fully sits around with fancy expensive wine and his art in his super cosy yet modern and majorly artistic big ass penthouse suite apartment studio and walks around in open blazers shirtless with his long hair all pushed back and wet like the queer bohemian pixie that he is uNF. 

he definitely has an approachable just creative and exciting persona without making you feel like you have to be wild to be alive with him. he’s also very spiritual

boi does yoga every morning and meditates every night without fail, very aware of mindfulness and does the exercises for it a lot, very aware of his health and keeps like excessively on top of it. he’s buddhist so he believes in the chakras, is interested in white magic and crystal healing too though, definitely practices feng shui, don’t fuck with his feng shui

he is a dancer however he doesn’t do dance as a full time gig bc he’s worried it would eat away at his time and take away from his other passions but ye he be a busy boi

he gets a reputation from the media for being a ‘playboy’ bc he’s deemed a heart throb fUNNILY enough he is the furthest thing from that, but everyone finds him attractive and tries to get him into scandals. he deffo does have flings like the average amount as anyone else but HERES THE THING...

rhys is an idiot and he has a thing for guys who think they’re gods gift who are all don’t go falling in love with me and part of me thinks he likes it for the thrill a lOT as well bc he’s too laidback for that trap so he’s all yeah as if bud u would have to change ur act a loT for that to be possible and they get shooketh like HOLD UP WAIT A SECOND-

he does not have their shit if they do the whole im such a hardass and i don’t do commitment but they want him to fall for them rlly he’s like okay good for u see u in like a week when u wanna fuck again until then i’ll be busy with my perfectly substantial life which i don’t need u in anyway dude

big bitch u aint special energy bc no one is and everybody got other priorities to put first depending on what they choose so like lemme know when u wanna get ur act together if not we can chill 

but he a good boi he just floats around the place with his shirtless blazer self all here have a sprinkling of wisdom beyond my years and compassion mi casa su casa bby make urself at home in my crafty creative den. 

( @hijinae​ ) is like a sister figure to him bc they perfectly match in persona’s and energies and she is very close to his familia it hasn’t happened yet but eventually they will be adoptive siblings when rhys’ parents legally take custody of jinae after her father’s passing. SIBLING POWER DUO I TELL U NOW they’re literally like siblings who are each other’s missing halves and best friends.  had they have been biological they would probably have been twins

PLOT IDEAS: 

so here’s a few loose ideas to throw around until i have more time to sort a plot page out for him purely bc as much as i’m invested in him and oozing with muse i have a lot of pACking to do still since i’m moving out and back home for the summer this weekend : 

but of course some of his much loved flings especially his fave messy boy toys bring em to me 

modelling rivals potentially who don’t actually want to be rivals at all but the media simply makes them out that way

dance buddies 

running buddies 

maybe some people who can help him manage his art business prospects and side of things

best friends bc who don’t love that

childhood friends

friends from china yES pls

modelling partners u know like kylie and her besties type shit always posing with each other on instagram and going to shows together or promoting together

ex’s bc that’s fun and spicy 

childhood love 

childhood best friend

frenemies 

friends he’s made internationally bc of music or dance or even modelling and got close with 

sibling like bond 

good influence and bad influence

people interested in spirituality or buddhism and maybe looking to him as a guide on it all 

honestly anything else u can think of even maybe a past unrequited love, his first ever boyfriend or girlfriend or just experience with either (also open to non-binary muses ofc) just hit me with it all and i will happily work with it

[jordantanevisualessay]

Nicolas Connor Barnes

My mom named me after the actor Nicolas Cage and I hate it, its horrible. Also my dad apparently named me after Sinéad O'Connor you know who she is? the one who sang “Cause nothing compares to you” that girl who is now a crack head so my dad just pulled her last name and put it in mine. Anyway that’s my name.

Tell me about your family?

My Mom’s family is a bunch of crack heads. My dad’s side obviously don’t know my dad, but I still keep in contact with my Aunty, Uncle, Grandma and Grandpa from that side. My mom was a single mom, she remarried. But besides all that they are all from Australia and just plain white. 

Describe your aesthetic

Extra , Boujee, Colourful would you say I’m colourful 

What do you mean by colourful?

Like I have a lot of colours, like yellows and blues and purples.

Oh like you’re colour palette?

Yes, so yeah I said colourful, would you describe my style as designer? Like is that a thing? 

What designer brands are you into?

Gucci, Louis Vuitton, love me some Prada, Dior, Chanel, Dolce, Versace, Bottega Venetta, Jimmy Choo, Fendi, I could be here all day.

So just anything designer essentially?

Of course

So obviously we have known each other since high school, and we have seen a lot of our friends change dramatically, so my question is do you think you have changed since high school up until now? Or even seen a change during high school?

I think I have definitely started to come out of my shell more, like I felt more comfortable to kind of wear what I want, I don’t give a fuck now, like I don’t care if you don’t like it, If I wanted to wear a fur coat to class bitch I will and I’ve done it. 

Through this project I have been reflecting back in year 9 till like both of us in our 2nd year of Uni 

Oh I had terrible style in year 9, actually I think we all did, we all thought we were hot fly and sexy.

How would you describe your sense of humour?

Certainly very dark and inappropriate, but also like I find very immature things quite funny. You know actually imma go real deep here, the reason I think I enjoy immature jokes is cause I never got the chance to be immature as a kids and that’s a fact. Hit the dong on the head with that. But yeah that’s the thing with you and I, feel like we both missed out on our childhood’s and kind of being a kid almost, so yeah that’s probably why I’m the way I am. I find certain stuff really funny but at the same time very mature for my age.

Do you feel like people don’t like that? 

Mainly people would just say oh you can’t laugh at that. But I would generally say it turns some people off but at the same time I don’t really care, I’ll do what I want.

In regards to your humour and perdsonality do you feel like you need to hold back at times? 

I just don’t care. If you don’t like my humour you can just fuck off somewhere else. Like what I find very self deprecating humour funny some people obviously don’t and like I find that very funny and if don’t like it its not my problem.

So tell me, what are your influences?

In terms of what like in life?

Yeah, before we get into like you’re aesthetic influences, I would love to know your life influences or even you why

Definitely my mother, 100% my mom and also just my self influence of wanting to do well for myself. But its definitely because of my mom I am where I’m at, she’s the only influence I need. 

What actually got you into designer clothes?

This is going to sound really stupid, but around the time of year 11 was when I started to become interested in it. And around that time I started watching, this is so terrible, I started watching you know house wives and all of their designer wear,  it was all a different world to me. So I would be like ooh I like that and would google it have a look at the website and find more stuff and then it was a continuous thing, each week a new episode would come out you would see it. Also a lot of the music I listen to its all about the Gucci bags and all of that. It wasn’t until about year 13 my last year of high school I started to watch more Youtube luxury videos of like unboxings, but yeah in year 13 was when I was like I really want these things but can’t afford them. And I actually started to buy fake designer items. And that was around about 6 months and then I stopped, got myself a nice little collection, then once we came out of lockdown the following year, I had all this money and I was like you know what I always wanted to go and buy something and that’s where it started and it hasn’t stopped. So now I don’t buy any fake designer items my stuff is real. A lot of people can call me shallow or whatever but in a way that’s what I put value and that’s my pride, happy and joy. 

Do you feel like you value objects more than people?

Yes omg facts, and they wont turn your back on you they will be right where you left them yesterday.

I know you mentioned before that one of your first designer influences was house wives, what actually got you into the show?

I still watch them, it was because I had a lot going on for me personally during that time, and for me that show even today its the same reason, you see a bunch of people fighting all the time, they go on holiday, they go shopping, and that is a life, not like what I want to have but a life you can almost live by curiously through, so I can put my shit on the side and invest in someone else’s drama, cause its not my drama so I can watch you fight and its not my problem. And it just spiralled out of control but like I have a picture of fucking  Lil’ Kim on my wall dressed in Chanel like she is obviously an influence on me and so is foxy brown. And if whoever asked who are your style icons and I know they are woman and we cannot wear the same things, I mean we could but it would be very strange, but those are my style influences.

I know in this day of age a lot of people are crossing those gender boundaries when it comes to style, is that something you would want to explore?

Like would I want walk across the street in heels, no. Thats not for me but I generally feel once I move out of home, cause my mom does make some comments on what I buy and decide to wear, but once I do move out of home I will be able to wear more. Im not huge on purses or anything like that not for me. Honey I sit there all the time looking at them, like they are so beautiful. But still not for me, but still there are some for when I do move out of home then I may be able to start looking into that more. I more kind of want to explore that unisex area of more feminine fashion but also masculine at the same time. I wouldn’t go for a purse which is feminine but I just want that balance. 

Would you use/wear a purse or like have them on display?

Like look at my Chanel bag I’ve never warn, but yeah once I do move out of home there are bags I do want like the Chanel Boy bag, its not a super feminine its more one of the masculine bags they have but it certainly not a ‘guys’ bag. It’s probably one of those things that I will grow into at some stage.

Theres certainly a scale of some kind of  masculinity and Femininity what are your personal thoughts on that and where would you fall on that scale?

Personally for me, Im certainly not the most masculine fellow out there but there are way more feminine people than me as well, but I would say I’m in the middle but leaning more towards the masculine. Im certainly in that middle point because there are some part of me that can be quite feminine.

So yeah back when we talked about Influences you talked about housewives and but then mentioned a bit about music so tell me more

I listen to a lot of current things when I was young like whatever Britney Spears had put out, whatever was just on the radio, we didn’t have Spotify or anything like that, and then it go into 2014 I got very interested in Nicki Minaj, she’s kind of into her fashion as well but I didn’t really take any notice of her. This is really strange but I found out about Lil’ Kim cause they both had beef, instantly liked Lil’ Kim more than Niki Minaj, and that’s when I began to notice she was a bit more out there. One of the first songs I listened to by Lil’ Kim the first line was “Being the first rap bitch to rock Chanel” and it was just very prevalent, and even all of her outfits and everything was very extra. 

What Is the main difference between Lil’ Kim and Niki Minaj? 

Honestly they are quite similar to each other, and thats why they had problems. For example Doja Cat, I almost would say Niki Minaj, Cardi B and Doja Cat are in the same box in terms of how they are very poppy, rappy. But Lil’ Kim is outta of the hood, and she’s never really done like pop music its very hardcore rap. Same with Foxy Brown, again all hardcore rap and even some of their music has heavy depth. I was thinking there’s a quote by Foxy Brown “And if you only knew I hold my minks at nights with cheap, Or no other hands can hold me right” Things like that are just like ouch, like I feel that. Obviously they are both very like into their designer labels so I was like me too. I just love that they don’t keep it PG and I can relate to that as I’m very outspoke myself. I just love me some hood music. 

Yeah and you just started recently going clubbing now too

Yeah I got to the point where I was like you know what I need to experience it at least once before I’m too old, and now I just keep going. I actually saw old videos of me slut dropping and back in that moment I thought I was hot as fuck but after seeing that not anymore.

What Clubs do you go to?

One of the first places I went to was Shadows which in enjoyed since they played early 2000s music I was all up in on that. Went to Ding Dong, it was creepy, didn’t like it, it was a very satanic vibe. It was an underground bar with a bunch of strip polls and shit like that, it was weird. Bar 101 is terrible, been once and never again. Went to Cassette for like 4 hours, Cassette was so much fun and then I went to Family Bar for like the rest if the night. But yeah my main bar/club is Family Bar. Even though there is just drugs everywhere shirtless people like where am I. 

What you mentioned before about once you move out and have more freedom where do you see yourself in that future ahead?

Hopefully I will be graduated by then. I really don’t think my style is going to changed its just going to be more of it. Alot more outfits, shoes, bags, hopefully some diamonds. Love me some diamonds. Me as a person, I don’t think I’m going to change much either, I say that because I look at everyone else I grew up with especially  from high school I would say everyone changed completely compared to myself, some for better some for worst. I’ve felt like I’ve been consistent with who I am, so I don’t think that’s gonna change. I’ve never had that rebellious phase that most of us goes through. I had to keep it real, having that childhood innocence taken from you and having to be mature early on, theres no room for that rebellious side, there’s so many bigger things in life than just vaping and doing that shit. But like I still have my fun you know, just have my head screwed on straight. 

How have you coped with this current lockdown?

I’ll be honest with you, I’ve really struggled with this lockdown. Like I just don’t wanna do anything, I will literally just sit here dead sad, so I just start drinking and I will just drink, like last night I got fucked. I’ve drank everyday, I’ve finished a bottle of grey goose in a couple of days. I’m just really struggling but I know once this lockdown is over, my life will pick itself over. Im not worried I will become like an alcoholic or something but its been rough. 

Tell me about your Instagram Lux with Nico 

Oh no, oh god, okay well its my Instagram page, which I haven’t on for a long time. It was a way for me to get into the community of designer lovers, like I’ve met some amazing people through it. Especially here in New Zealand, people don’t really get the whole designer thing.  My mom is always like what the fuck, why do you need this, and a lot of my friends don’t understand it either but they kind of accepted it but I do feel some sort of judgement from some people, they just don’t get it. So its nice to have that community not in a bragging kind of way like omg I brought a Gucci bag, and there’s other people excited for you and when they get something you get excited for them, and its a nice community to be apart of it. You get to see a lot of other peoples things and they get to see yours and you can get into those conversations. It’s nice but it always does has it dark side to it, its like a blog and you are wanting that blog to grow and they only way for it to grow is when you buy things. So I felt this kind of self pressure to be like “omg I haven’t gotten anything a new thing in like a week, what am I gonna post” so then I would go look at Prada like go looking for anything to buy just so I can upload something, to keep growing my account. Cause I did this everyday for awhile, and I just ran out of things. You look at other peoples accounts and they buy like Louis Vuitton bag like every week. I came to realise that was very fucking stupid, you should only buy things that you want and can afford. So yeah there is that dark side to it and you can go down that hole, you feel like you have to buy things for other people to look at. Which really it’s not what it’s about.

Do you wish to continue with that account and going into that social media realm?

I do, but I got this point where I ran out of things to post about. Like do I start posting pictures of the same thing but in a different angle? I mean I’ve brought things that I haven’t posted. But for me if i’m going to start posting again, I want it to be regular thing. And yeah I can post maybe weekly and space it out but you can’t really grow your account, you need to be very consistent if you want your account to really grow. I got to like 300 followers in a month, like I know that’s not huge and that’s even 3 times that what I have on my own personal account. After awhile the numbers were kind of slowish because you reach all the people that are interested in your shit. More people did come and I even had people like I had this girl who did custom designs on designer items and I had people like that who reached out to me, being like “oh we love your collection, we would love to do this for you etc” that’s stuff is nice and all but I did get to the point where I was like I don’t know what else to do here. 

Using your imagination is there anything else you would love to do besides posting of your designer items etc? Like even create your own stuff?

I would love to make my own collection of something, actually I would love to sell shoes, like design my own shoes. Would love love to do that, but then i’m like how would even start that sort of thing, would people even buy my shit. 

Would you say your favourite designer item is shoes?

Well, the only things i’ve brought this year have been all shoes. I mean I love my shoes, that’s my thing. 

And on top of all of that your studying psychology

Yeah I’m wanting to get into the Clinical side of psychology, I’m currently in my 2nd year doing a bachelor  of Psychology at University of Auckland. I think the reason of me wanting to get into that field stems from childhood things, like all of the people studying psychology are fucked up so. But yeah I would love to help someone else and give them that second chance. Currently at the moment we are doing a section on relationships and intimacy, I would love to be a relationship therapist that would be great, like that to me is super interesting. 

Why are you more interested in the relationship side of psychology? 

Don’t know really, just very interesting to me, seeing how relationships work through its ups and downs and all that kind of stuff. And for order for me to get into Clinical I will need to get a PHD and write a whole thesis, so I was kind of thinking of doing something on the lines of retail therapy, and I feel that would be very interesting for me to explore in a psychological level. 

So I know you are wanting to become a psychologist after your studies but do you think you would ever get into designing your own stuff like you mentioned before?

I would love to have my own brand or design something, that’s not a realistic goal though. You have to work fucking hard, everyone will say the work you put into is what you get out of it. You can put your heart and soul and even money all kinds of shit, but if no one buys you’re shit you’re not successful. So half of it is yeah people have to like it and want to buy it cause otherwise you ain’t going to be making shit. But if you go into a job in like psychology there is good money associated with and there is money for it, so for me that’s the most financially responsible decision. 

Were you born here in New Zealand?

Yeah I’m actually from Palmerston North, we lived briefly in Rotorua and then lived in Auckland up until now. I don’t really have a sense of belonging to a particular place, like Auckland yeah I grew up in the city and I have respect towards it but I don’t wanna live here, but also know that I’m very luck and very thankful for being in Auckland cause I don’t not think I could survive anywhere else. I know that sounds terrible but like Wellington I don’t like the atmosphere, Christchurch is the same. And anything smaller than that no thanks, we live in the city and I’m very thankful for that, we’re in the most established place in the country, and I’m grateful that I live here in Auckland. Im a mother fucking city girl. 

Do you wanna move outside of New Zealand then?

I know for a fact I do not want to stay here, I would actually love to live in Dubai or like Sidney or even London. Theres nothing really keeping me here in New Zealand, like I don’t have a huge family or anything and the opportunities here are very far in-between, cause I do feel like in New Zealand there’s a certain place you can end up, and no room for growth but I feel like in other countries there’s more opportunities, more money to be made and even more places you can go. So that my reason. 

Like you mentioned before about not having a lot of family holding you here, I know for a lot of people they are rooted to where they come from and have that connection what are your thoughts on that?

Yeah I just feel like this is where I live and that’s about it, I don’t see myself being here forever.

Do want that family aspect like in your future would like to start your own family?

I think so, I want to find a place where I can call my own, I mean you never know once you explore the world. Its quite interesting thinking about life like that. Yeah I’ve never realised how much your childhood affects you in your adult life until now. Especially of the way I am, that I’m very closed off. I do have that part of me that wishes for a family which I didn’t have growing up but then at the same time I’ve gone along time without it so why do I need it. Honestly I feel like would be a good parent but I don’t think I would want children, cause I would always try to do the best for my children and at the same time I don’t have real desire to have them. 

How are you with people Generally?

Oh still hate people, I think everyone is a piece of shit.

Final question of the day but what are your life goals? 

Having a job, be financially stable and just do the best I can for me personally. I know that sounds very boring and cliché but that’s the truth.

[captainfantasticspastic]

“So the doc said I have ____ Seizures. What does that actually mean?” An Updated Cheat Sheet

So you’ve been diagnosed with epilepsy. Great… what does that even mean?

“Epilepsy is a seizure disorder,” meaning you’re brain is more likely to send off mixed signals, than the next guy. But that’s alright, ‘cause I’m going to lay down the basics of what you need to know. Lol.

First, let’s get this straight: everyone is capable of having a seizure. You stick lil’ Timmy infront of a high speed strobe for long enough, sooner or later his brain will say “What the hell am I looking at? I can’t keep up!” And he’ll wind up on the floor.

Folks who have Epilepsy, like you and I, are no different. We see things, hear things, feel, and taste, just like any other human being. Okay? What I’m trying to get at here is you are not a freak of nature. You are not a mutant. Sadly, no, you do not have special powers to set objects aflame. (I know. That bummed me out too.) No! Instead, you’re just a normal dudelet - just chillin with the rest of the human race.

But what does makes us different, is that we have a lower seizure tolerance than most. That’s it. I know right? When you say it like that, it doesn’t sound like a big deal. That’s cause it isn’t. What is a big deal, are the seizures themselves, which I’ll get to in a hot minute.

So what IS a seizure? Great question. “… a sudden surge of electrical activity in the brain,” says The Epilepsy Foundation (epilepsy.com). Another, but equally scientific, definition describes it as, “the workers in your brain going, ‘What the actual fuck are we dealing with here?’ And proceeding to lose their shit,”

Pretty much, something - be it lights, lack of sleep, stress, booze, high pitched beeping, the sight of toast, whatever - will set off this seizure. This is called a Trigger. Triggers are things that our brains don’t generally enjoy. They tend to me things that could give a person headaches, or migraines; or make you feel out of sorts if you have to deal with them for too long. It is possible for some to “delay” a seizure, or even stave it off completely. Not everyone can do this though. I know someone who’s been able to prevent her seizures by sleeping with a foot on the floor. I (sometimes) can push one off if I feel one coming on, by either her being physically active or focusing on something solid, to remind myself im not floating away. But as I said, not everyone can do it. It depends on what type of seizures you have, and how in tune you are with your body. I only figured out my method after years of experimenting.

Anyway, so we got the basics. Back to….

Seizures! There are two major categories from which we have a variety of flavors.

There’s Focal and Generalized. The main difference between the two is how they start. Easy enough, right? (I’ve heard tell of a third classification “Unknown Onset”, but we’ll get into that later)

First we have Focal Onset: Focal seizures happen in specific parts of the brain - Sort of like a controlled mob.

Focal Onset Aware (aka Simple Partial): Im gonna be frank with you here. There are like a million types of Simple Partial Seizures. I probably won’t hit every kind, and I apologize if I’ve skipped someone out there. Ya know. My bad. Nonetheless I’ll do my best.

Simple Partials are pretty cool is that you are awake for them. Oh yeah. That’s right. You can have a seizure and be totally cognizant. These are the ones many refer to as “Auras”. Yeah, you know that “warning” you get before blacking out? That my friend is most likely a simple partial seizure. They’re like little seizures. Aw cute, right. No! They’re a pain in the ass! (Ehem. Apologies) anyway, as I said before, they can come in a whole bunch of types. To save time, I’m just going to give you a list of the effects:

Some people experience Deja Vu, out of body experiences, weird tastes in your mouth, (there’s emotional/psychological kinds) that’s make you have intense sorrow, or a sense of impending doom, others make you randomly filled with a god-like rage.

Others make your hands, fingers, toes, legs, etc twitch.

Some make it IMPOSSIBLE to find the right words/understand words/even read, and you suddenly feel illiterate and as if English is your second language despite being brought up in the US. (I’m not emotionally invested or anything).

Honestly, for these, you really should look it up yourself. I’ll be doing a separate post just for them, but nonetheless. It’s too important, and it’s one that truly is unique to the person.

Focal Onset Unaware (aka Complex Partial):

These are like simple partial seizures, but you’re NOT awake. Apparently many experience lip smacking during it. I wouldn’t know, because I’m out for the count. The one thing I do know is they can go into Generalized Seizures. This is not common however, that’s just the case for me.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG

Next we have Generalized: “Generalized” Seizure are seizures that effect both sides of your brain. *Imagine a stray cluster of teenage neurons are having a house party, and EVERYONE shows up.*. [Neurons are the little electric dudes that’s race around your head and make everything work/tell different parts of your brain what’s going on]

Tonic-Clonic (Motor): This is the big nasty one that people believe all seizures look like. The person loses consciousness, and convulses (shakes).

What It’s Like: They don’t hurt while it happens; but I’ll be honest with you, it can feel like you’ve been hit by a bus coming out of it. Basically, you’ve been clenching up and releasing muscles you didn’t even know you had over and over really really quickly. It’s like being super out of shape, and then made to do a triathlon athlete’s complete workout circuit in 2-5 minutes. At a weird angle, so you probably get dinged up along the way. So yeah. I’d describe it as waking up to limp noodles for tendons and joints, and fiery rocks for muscles. It’s sorta like how you’d imagine the hero of an action film would ACTUALLY feel like if the scenario were real.

Absence: these are super quick, but can happen MANY many times a day. They’re so quick that they’re almost impossible to notice. You stare for a few seconds, and snap out of it. I know, not very scary. What sucks is that you can lose time with them. So one second you’ll be lovin life, and suddenly, black, you forgot what you were saying, and a whole bunch of things that happened recently. This all comes back though, eventually.

Clonic Seizures: Unlike Tonic Clonic, these big and nasties happen while you’re awake. (Fun fact: Tonic is the part of the seizure where you stiffen and fall unconscious. Clonic is where you convulse). So needless to say, these can hurt. Actually, they do hurt. A lot. I’ve only had a couple in my time, thankfully, but it feels like everything’s described earlier for Tonic-Clonics, except you are wide awake the entire time to enjoy every bump, scratch, and uncontrolled spasm. Oh, and it feels like there are electric shocks going through you. At least it did for me. These tend to last a few minutes.

Tonic Seizures: these tend to happen in your sleep, but they don’t have to necessarily. The muscles in your legs, arms, or abdomen tense up for about 20 seconds. It’s relatively harmless, but can mean for some serious loss of balance if it happens while standing up. (Also they’re just a pain, and can wear you out, honestly)

Atonic: These I’ll admit, can be spooky. Basically your muscles go limp for about 15 seconds at a time. So you might now be able to hold your head up; or suddenly you drop everything cause your arms go out. It’s not fun. It’s actually less than 15 seconds, but some people can have a bunch of these in a row. If its bad enough, some may consider wearing a helmet, if a fall hazard arises.

Myoclonic: Muscles will jerk as it electricuted. Apparently these seizures can start in the same part of the brain as Atonic, and many who have one have been known to experience the other.

So that’s what you missed on Glee! Any questions, comments, moans or groans, shoot em up my way! If anyone has any knowledge of Tonic Clonic Seizures, id love to hear it! And if I missed anything, please let me know!!

Hope this can be of some help for you newbies out there, (or for you other folks like I who never got the full story on their diagnoses til much later lol)

And don’t worry friend. I know Epilepsy is rough. I know it sounds scary, but you’re going to be fine. You’ve got an entire community who has your back :) So hang in there Kiddo!

Sincerely,

Captain Fantastic Spastic

[putris-et-mulier]

seems you fell in love with 'the orville' and oddly enough i did too, but im a lil curious what appealed to you so much about ,are you perhaps a trecky(star treck fan)?

I love so much about it…

I generally like McFarland’s work despite the assumptions that I must hate him but I think the Orville is especially good and it really does show that it’s a pet project that he cares deeply about and is worked many years to get the opportunity to do and isn’t squandering that opportunity.

When I was young I loved sci-fi but I never watched things like Star Trek or Star Wars. I really have no idea why as the TV was my mother; I pretty much watched everything but I preferred to read worn out sci-fi paperbacks with the coolest pictures on the front.

I do have a problem with Star Trek but I have the same problem with the Orville: the allegory is too heavy-handed. It seems condescending. As someone who lives for that shit a lot of it just seems recycled. Of course there are great episodes of Star Trek, ones that were subversive art and had a huge impact on Western culture. I think the Orville’s third episode had the gravity of one of those episodes so I’d be interested in watching just for the sake of that but the show itself is actually good.

I was so prepared to hate these two. The whole premise just makes my eyes roll back into my esophagus. A Divorced couple working together making sparks and jokes fly. Those plots are so misogynistic. The characters never have depth and even the woman adds into the misogyny by saying things like “you hit like a girl.”

The fact that I like these guys and I ship them impresses me. It’s really hard to get me to invest in characters, especially when I preemptively hate them.

I was watching the show with a friend of mine who commented that they were surprised that they liked the relationship these two had and I said that I love that she was the one courting him and my friend didn’t understand. I said, imagine the characters but switch their genders, how would you consider their dynamics then?

It’s a huge role reversal and it is to the detriment of over sexualizing a woman and desexualizing a man.

Kelly is fantastic. She’s assertive, smart, tough, feminine, has strong emotions, has convictions unrelated to men, she has healthy friendships with other women, she isn’t always right and she acknowledges that she isn’t always right.

Ed I’m also super impressed with. He owns his masculinity, he excels at what he’s good at and is the first to admit what he’s bad at, he’s deeply persuaded by his and other people’s emotions, he is a realistic leader that makes you believe he could actually be doing the job he’s supposed to be doing. 

Unlike on Big Bang theory where they use geeky things as the punchline, the Orville uses obscurity as the punchline like when Kelly was being tortured and was asked where her friends were and she said they were on Earth, in New York, in a little café called Central Perk.

It was funny because the other alien race didn’t understand the reference and she isn’t sardonic about her references, nor is Ed. That’s what she said in place of “you hit like a girl.”

I’m super impressed with this couple because from the beginning of the series there is been strife in their relationship. They have a lot of marital issues. They argue about chores and work. They are like a real couple. A couple that doesn’t get featured in one episode and then proceeds to just having a token gay character who has a partner you never see.

I was kind of worried that she was going to be a “look, we made the black woman smart and a desexualized her because she’s not 20 years old” cliché but I’m impressed with her too.

She’s not just the doctor on the show who shows up when a doctor is needed. She’s Claire. Her ranking matters, you see her take a number of leadership roles and she’s a large part of the community in the ship. She’s sympathetic but affirmative and wants to help other women achieve things. Of course they made her really intelligent but I loved that they explicitly said she took jobs that were considered below her paygrade because she still wanted to be learning. When I was a little girl I would’ve absolutely loved that.

I wasn’t so sure about Lana at first because she was just the spunky one but they are developing her character as the show goes on which is what you should do with the “young one” in a group ensemble. She didn’t become captain of the ship and the next day she was an empowered™ woman. She respects other women and seeks guidance from them, not just the men.

I really love her relationship with Ed. He’s concerned about her abilities but respects her rank and gives her the respect he would if she were someone older. He doesn’t seem like a fatherly figure to her although it does seem like she sees him that way. He’s her boss and her friend. That��s it. He never makes sexual comments toward her and what doubt he has in her wasn’t belittling, and it didn’t make him hesitate to trust her. Instead of trying to be a father he seems like he’s actually doing his job, and doing it well.

Of course I love John and Gordon. I completely fell in love when they met because that’s exactly how I decide how to be friends with someone. They are primarily used as characters who are supposed to voice the audiences thoughts, a staple in ensemble casts but this is the first time it actually worked for me.

They talk like real people. Half of what John says sounds like a tumblr meme.

Their humor doesn’t come from toxic masculinity so although as of now neither have much depth as characters they seem four dimensional. Of course it’s fun to fly a spaceship and below shit up, it’s easy as a viewer to put yourself in their shoes.

I can’t help but picturing them as the old men puppets up in the balcony of the Muppet Show though.

[tedfashionski]

Finking, Finking.

Hi, welcome to my ted talk. (That is the only time I will ever make that joke. This is Fashionski Finks. Expect radically low standards of self-involved rantiness with zero research or accountability from here on out). For a while there I seriously thought that the covid-19 quarantine was going to result in people being increasingly placid and accepting of creeping extensions of the police state. But here I am, getting depressed again, not about the protests, which I love, but more about my relationship to in-group pressure dynamics. One of the problems with being a relentless contrarian is the discomfort of my impulse to rebel against groups even when they’re championing the right thing. I have to find my own way to fight against the system as an outsider. No gods, no masters, no fucking peer pressure.  I’ll never be happy joining a chorus line. I don’t sign fucking petitions (they’re just lists for the NSA). I do donate, but like fuck will I do it performatively. I can’t go to protests cus I get panic attacky in crowds. I empathise pretty strongly with outsiders of all stripes but believe ridiculously excessively in the public good of criticism, and have a nostalgic love of trolling (I like to think I’m gentle with it though). Bring back the troll! We need that fucker, he’s a sign of a healthy internet. I’m writing this blog thing as an extension of my need to vent my extreme negativity. TBH I never expected to get any followers with ted twitter and the bizarre welcomingness of the hf twitter community totally wrongfooted me. I’m not nice. Ted isn’t meant to likable. He’s my dark side. I was meant to be using this alt as a way to terrorise the nice nice (secretly cruel) fashion people. I’m gunna try and up that aspect more. Just bear in mind, my complaints are largely about the system, but if I see you perpetuating fashion’s entrenched anti-intellectualism or its insidery bullshit, I’ll come for you with a little meta-bomb with your name on it. Maintaining my misanthropic tone does take work tho, like, deep down in some twisted part of my psyche, I guess I do actually want to be liked. It’s fucked up.

I suppose it’s only fair to explain this Ted fursona. Like, new concept, who dis? Why all the furry porn? …..because I just think it’s hilarious. Every time I think about the furries I cackle (not at them, mind). I just love the mad corruption of pure Disney aesthetics into hardcore pornography. That’s anti-authoritarian as fuck. I love the sincerity of their culture. The way the crazy fetish aspect means they’ll never be fully blandified by mainstream acceptance. The way it’s so cringe but so delightful. And more seriously, I’m interested in how a culture of mostly gay male nerds developed to the point where they’ll invest 10k in custom fursuits and support eachother’s independent businesses in ways that the fashion community completely fails to do. The fashion world sucks. There’s so many correlations there that I want to investigate: the newness (furries date from around the 70s, fashion culture in its self-aware state dates from the late 19th C – both very young fields); the centralisation/decentralisation; the hierarchy (furries can be pretty catty, I have discovered in my research, and we all know what fashion people are like); the adoption of new identities; the cis-boy gayness aspect (I’m increasingly tired of the extreme nasty hierarchy of certain CSM queens. It’s all very UGH. Just, fuck those particular bitches.) There’s more to the furry love, but I’ll explore it in future posts.

More importantly, why Ted fucking Kaczynski? I’m not like, actually a terrorist. (….yet. tehehe. NO, seriously I like non-maiming violence. Fuck yeah to property damage. Fuck yeah to disabling the system in extreme way. But no to wooden IEDs. Think of my shitty jokes that fail to land as my hand-crafted bombs). I think I like the shitness of Ted. He was just an epic fail of a terrorist. I’m a little white girl living in London. I’m not actually a primitivist, as much as I crave a hut in the woods. I did go to an elite school though. I had some really shitty experiences in the fashion industry in my early 20s, and I watch my friends who are relatively successful in that system and I get so angry on their behalf at their poor treatment. They think I’m too angry. Fuck that. They should be more angry, and the fact that they can’t be angry at their extreme precarity and the fact they’re still insecure and terrified of being ejected by the system after all their investment and skills they’ve built up is BULLSHIT. I’ll be double angry for them, I’m not invested in that system. I don’t need it to pay my rent. I’m free, motherfuckers, and I’m coming for the abusers and exploiters. If you’re a complacent industry figure not fighting hard from within, uggghhhhh fuck you. Yes, YOU. Soooo, I relate pretty hard to the MK ultra stuff. (go look him up, he was basically tortured and experimented upon by the elite). But there’s a pretty big chasm between my views and his, and I’ll try to be clear about the extent of my interest in his extreme beliefs. I haven’t even finished reading the manifesto. Basically, I watched that shitty show on Netflix with sam worthington around the same time I watched Joker (that movie fucked me up) and thought it’d be a good outlet to larp online as a terrorist. There’s the angry white alt-right school shooter aspect, which I’m still figuring out, cus I’m non-binary and I was raised by nutso trumpy right-wingers, who I barely speak to anymore, and I struggle to get along with people generally. There’s sad, self-pitying rage here. I empathise with the angry white dudes too much. I feel guilty about it. That’s good ground for artmaking (yes, shamefully, this…is…art. Sorry). I modelled this fursona a little after my brother, who I spent years living with and arguing with and trying to lift out of his scary racist youtube rabbit holes. This is actually quite an emotional thing for me, cus I did the ‘talk to your fascist family’ thing. And I completely failed. I realised his right-winginess wasn’t lessening, I wasn’t gaining ground, and in fact my excessive empathy and desire to reach out to the relative most similar to me in character meant his extremism was rubbing off on me. Making me more resentful and depressed. Feeling powerless. I was being too kind-hearted and forgiving of his masculine impotence. So I’m exploring some personal shit here. But Ted is also a cute lil fuzzball teddy bear. He means well, but me being super autistic and faily at social skills means he’s kind of a dick, cus I am. I’m going to try and further develop this character, this POV, and this post is the only time I’ll explain the divide between him and his creator (moi). The ‘I’ on the twitter and here is Ted Fashionski, I need that space between me and him. Masks give us this freedom to be more ourselves. Internet culture has lost a lot of its wild brutal anonymity in the last decade or so, now everyone’s afraid of making mistakes. How the hell do you grow if you’re not allowed to fuck up? This is a vital outlet. He’s become an important part of my life and I have to say, I love being Ted Fashionski. He’s like Paddington Bear who just escaped form Guantanamo or something.

I get pretty fatigued as a matter of course. I’m a long-term depressive since childhood. I have a difficult time keeping my hard-on for living. I don’t get suicidal really but I do struggle with extreme fatigue. I sleep a lot. I often fall into spirals of self-hate. And as someone who utterly believes in revolutionary leftist politics, I beat myself up about not doing enough. I’m so middle class and english and white. I was raised in such a chauvinistic and complacent culture; I don’t even know where to start. I’m wading my way through post-colonial literature and beating myself up for finding it boring and uncomfortable. It’s hard to force yourself to acknowledge your culture is The Bad Guys. It’s easier to fall into fanstasies of supremacy and butthurt misunderstoodness. And it’s not like my depressive brain needs any encouragement to hate me. My trajectory is ever leftwards, but I remember the righteous fury of being right-wing. I get it, that was me. We need more paths back from fascism, more comprehension of why people are that kind of shitty. I talk less, and less well, the more depressed I am. If I’m talking, it means im feeling a lot better. Just, fyi.

Give me a minute to be critical here. With the George Floyd protests, a lot of the cool guys on fashion twitter has gone blazingly hardcore on the political side. But there’s this troubling rhetoric about ‘no return to normal content’ or ‘this isn’t the time for fashion’. Like fuck it isn’t. This is a key problem with fashion culture right here, we have this received perception of fashion as empty escapism. Escapism matters in fashion, yes. But seriously, talking about the surfaces of things does not equal not caring about deeper meaning. What the fuck. Clothes are a connective tissue, a membrane between us. They’re emotional and powerful. We can talk about things that matter THROUGH clothes. I speak fashion, pretty fucking well. Most people who work at fashion magazines are morons with no understanding or respect for their subject. They’re incapable of doing it justice, and that’s deliberate. On this tumblr you’ll see rants and reviews of fashion and other artforms, always interpreting through a fashion lens. cus it matters, cus it’s a vital part of the culture, cus just because something has a glittery, seductive surface doesn’t mean it doesn’t communicate or contain depth. There’s no going back to ‘normal fashion content’, yes. Normal fashion content is a fucking psyop to divert legitimate interest in aesthetics amongst largely non-academic dyslexic visual types away from careful thought/feeling and towards empty consumerist commericiality. The traditional fashion media wants you to express yourself and your interest in the zeitgeist through buying more shit. Another fashion world is possible. Let’s destroy the old and build a new one, one where surface and spirit are connected and true and fashion can’t be abused in service of evil industrial monopolists.

/end rant. TLDR: angry fictional teddy bear with tin-foil hat and an eco-anarchist fetish says no to stupid fashion and yes to the renewal of conceptual fashion. Also, Fuck White People.

[briteboy]

stealing @bratsims format because i need a less ugly way to mass answer your messages which will hopefully motivate me to stay on top of this! at least i can say i tried

so if you sent me an anon message in the past...idk MONTH (i’m bad i know) it might be here. (older ones are near the bottom) if not, check my faq because it’s probably answered there. (and if you’re the person/people who sent the twin flame & 7th house asks, i plan to answer those separately because i have a LOT to say. get ready)

game of thrones, nuclear war, real life santis, lou theories, i’m evil, HERE WE GO!! i literally had to cut it off at the last one because it was just too much for now. i’ll try to answer some more later ok

we’re starting off on a great note

Anonymous said: gaddamn rooney's tiddies lookin' hella ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STOP!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY CHILD soaidfnjds she’s supposed to have like b/c cups (goals for me tbh, the big boob life is not fun) and sims 4 pregnancies just fuckin make them...NYOOM i’m mad you can’t edit sims’ bodies during pregnancy even with cas.fulleditmode on -___- so i let her live with her giant preggo tiddies for now

Ngl I want a kiss between Santi and Gianni (I'm sorry I'm literally trash)

then i’m here to satisfy your desires: they do kiss periodically because gianni is one of those people who’s like “why shouldn’t you kiss your friends?” free love 4 everyone

IM SCREAING AT UR YOUTUBE CHANNEL OK!!!! I LOVEEE IT, WOW

DON’T IT’S UGLY EXCEPT FOR LIKE TWO VIDEOS

hey this is kinda random but i thought joe seaward from glass animals looked kinda like santi? he has quite a weird face too lmao

oMG i actually love that, i know what you mean. that dude reminds me of a bull terrier lmao i actually saw glass animals like two weeks ago!! i didn’t really get a good look at the drummer but now i wish i did. missed connection

i just finished reading santi's story and ugh it almost had me in tears! beautiful, your story telling skills and editing skills are perfection!

ahhhhsdkgkds thank you so much ;____; that means the world to me <333

Unpopular opinion: im so done with game of thrones tbh. It's not even good anymore :/ I liked the first season but since then i've skipped through episodes because they are just sooo fucking boring and dragged out!

see like the first three seasons were pretty good because they stayed true to the books. (actually that’s a lie, littlefinger’s chaos speech in the s3 finale was real fuckin bad because guess what: it was original material LMAO) the fourth season was where it started to get messy and then the fifth season was a fucking shitshow because they completely IGNORED the fourth book and cherrypicked all the “good” parts out of it (read: the most action-y parts, while ignoring all the most important pieces of character development) and they botched the dorne storyline, oh and who could forget the iconic moment of throwing in a rape (THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS) just for fun :) love it! but anyway if you think the show is boring i probably wouldn’t recommend the books, they’re even slower getting through them lmao. but it’s worth it in my opinion. there’s so much they don’t include in the show and it makes me Angery

Okay, game of thrones fan here, I haven't read the books (yet at least, I bought book 1) but I feel like dany is going to practically turn into her father, this season she is already showing traits like his.......

OH YEAH i definitely feel like they’re moving in that direction in the process of revealing jon as the “true” king of westeros and it’s so bad lmfao. the thing is, like...cersei is already mad king 2.0? why do we need another one?????? the entire point of dany’s arc is that she’s constantly trying to deviate AWAY from the way her father ruled, demonstrated by the fact that she freed the slaves (whereas all the targaryens before were slave owners), the fact that she’s not perpetuating the whole incest thing (LMAO GUESS AGAIN BECAUSE JONERYS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR SOME FCKING REASON), the fact that she has dragons which haven’t existed in how many years...like, if she ever ends up being like her father in the books, it’s NOT gonna fucking happen like this. but i don’t think she will anyway, george rr martin has been pretty clear about her trajectory thus far. anyway this show is so ugly, next question

rooney's eye are so BIG

just like her tiddies lmao i kno sometimes i forget how big they are and then she does one of those silly endearing animations and i’m like o ;-; hello big dumb baby cow eyes

Cows? Are you secretly Matthew Daddario?

WHO i had to google him lmao i was about to say “oh the teen wolf guy” but jk @ myself u idiot it’s shadowhunters damn i literally googled “matthew daddario cows” and

tru

I love how fragile Lou looks like but the truth is that she is strong af and you can't play with her bruh

SHE IS ;-; and that’s a huge theme in her story, i’m excited <3

ima leave ur blog and come bk and spam you so you will finally notice me

im part of this online forum of girls that talks about our period and weather or not one of us might be pregnant and once this girl posted saying that her husband invited his mom without telling her to thier honeymoon and she didnt find out until they arrived at the hotel and she was already there. the most recent part reminded me of it. but long story short, her dad moved all her stuff out of his house and her friend came to pick her up and they got a divorce.

OISOJDFAKNLJSD WHAT!!! i’m guessing you sent this because of that thing i said about the reddit post lmfaooo imagine your mom on your honeymoon. why. that’s soooooooooo good 4 her u know. u don’t need to be married to his mom as well

thanks 4 trusting my love santi. he's beautiful

thank u he thinks ur beautiful too 💘

do you have any tips for runing game in good quality and fast?

euhhhhh the only tips i have for you are to merge your cc, close all other programs while you play your game, maybe invest in a cooling pad uhhhhhh yeah idk any other tips you can probably find on google

You told that thing about unfollowing people and I thought you unfollowed me, but then I checked and you didn't and I'm crying omg

lmao omg ;-; i literally cut my following list in half, it was so chaotic and it was making me anxious. so if ever unfollow any of you please don’t take it personally (i know it’s a stupid thing to say, and it’s a lot easier said than done) it’s just my brain explodes when there’s too much going on at once and some content blends into others, i’m trying to only follow people who i’m genuinely interested in enough to keep up with their posts from now on

I haven't been able to sleep in over 72 hours thanks to the constant fear over the looming world war. I'm fine. Completely fine

Oh shit, have you noticed that the media has been putting out more 'what to do during a nuclear attack' kinda articles? This world is slowly going to shit, for real. I'm not even near any of the danger really, but it still absolutely terrifies me to see all of that bc it could very well go wrong and hit my place as well yknow? I have no idea why i send this to you but you seem chill and calm so thanks for reading my freakout askfjsls

YEP it’s pretty terrifying. but at the same time don’t let fear overwhelm you, fearmongering is an ugly, ugly thing and you don’t want to live your life constantly worrying. so just prepare yourself for what might come, but at the same time, just spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, and then if it doesn’t turn out as bad as we thought it would, you *tim mcgraw voice* lived like u were dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’

@ Jesus anon: I really don't think it's the right time to complain about "using the lord name in vain" when there are people terrified of leaving their homes bc they are afraid to get killed (aka that poor, poor Jewish anon in charlottesville)

yeah idk like i want to respect everyone but it seemed to be in poor taste to bring that up at a time like that lmao. and also i’ve literally never in my entire life met someone who actually takes “don’t say the lord’s name in vain” seriously. 

I asked about the poses and HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH! I finally have good poses to use for story telling. Thank you soo so so so sooooo much!

YAY i’m glad you found some good stuff <3 and honestly just going through lana’s blog you’ll find a ton of good poses, it’s a gold mine

Idk how much tv you watch, but have you've ever come across a tv show that used music from The Sim? Because once in a while I'll hear Sims 3 build/buy music on some random show and I'll get a lil shook because I find it so weird that the generic music they're using comes from a major game title.

OMG LMAO NO what i wish i’d come across that tho. one time i used sims 1 music in a video i made for school and someone recognized it

I love your stories gosh I check your page "it's everyday bro with femmesim flow" Lol sorry for that awkward Jake Paul "poop" ❤️

lmao thank u i had no idea who jake paul was until my friends started talking about him

yo, I also remember once in french class real life santi asked me what videos games I like to play. When I told him the sims, he looked at me for a while and shaked his head. He was like, "why do you want to watch your sims use the toilet?"

WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR SIMS USE THE TOILET SAME that’s all i care about when i play

that rooney face in the 5 facts is so iconic, its my fave picture of her. You should blow it up and frame it

i should tbh. i should print it out and put it in my wallet to show everyone because she is my child

sorry the bother you, merging cc makes your game smoother? can you explain to me please?

boop

hi i love you ♡ pass it on

I LOVE U

Can I say that hearing a MacBooks fans screaming for dear life as they try to cool down when playing the sims has actually started to haunt my nightmares

SAME my macbook is actually doing it right now for no reason. thanks laptop

Maybe Santi should go to therapy to talk out his issues.

maybe he should 🤔  but tbh he’s already talked out everything, there’s nothing really more to talk out. he just has to cope with it. he’s treated lou like his therapist thus far and that’s not okay

i love ur story and omg i totally get where lou is coming from with being tired of being compared to molly by santi, thatd hurt so much esp with how much she cares about him

thank youuu ;-; i’m glad you understand, this was a part i’d wanted to get out for a loooong time now, and i know you guys were always like “um why does she put up with this” lmao. she just loves him, that’s why. but you’re right, it does hurt.

My theory is very similar to the other anons in that Fiona's dad/Lou's ex had a mental illness (schizophrenia, depression, what have you) but he actually did kill himself and that's why she's not completely losing it on Santi because I feel like most people in that situation would have not handled it as well as Lou did

🤔 you’re right about the last part, and there’s a reason she has so much patience, das all i’m sayin

i started your story from the beginning last night and i am in awe. Its amazing. It inspired me to put a little more effort in learning to edit and write. It was like reading screen caps from a movie! I didn't want to stop reading. Anyway thing was a super sappy ask, but i appreciate your stuff. And i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words.

omg ;__________; when people tell me i inspired them it means the most to me, my brain just can’t process it lmao. so thank you so so much ;-; <333 THE MOVIE THING ESPECIALLY GOT ME IN THE HEART because i feel like that’s my aesthetic with most things i create because i’m such a film person lol. don’t worry i love super sappy, and you did a good job of wording everything because it got me right in the feels <33

Okay I've been snickering for about 43 minutes bc SANTI GOT THAT GRU CHINNN

WOT is that i googled it and the only thing that came up was the dad from despicable me lmfaosdkjfs but ok

Please, please do punk edits of your some of your characters! I'd die.

WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN do you mean like. those 2010 tumblr edits of punk disney characters and then the joker from suicide squad looked like one of them. do u want santi to be the joker. because my boyfriend already relates him to suicide squad joker because of his face tatt lmao

You love to make me cry

i do i’m sorry. if it makes you feel any better i love to make myself cry too. but my biceps grow stronger with every tear

I reeeally dont think those chancla comments were offensive??? Why would they be?? I'm hispanic (born and raised in the sunny Dominican Republic, received a fair amount of chancletazos myself) and I laughed out loud when i read them 😂😂

I JUST WANT U TO KNOW I SHOWED @ichosim THIS MESSAGE AND SHE LAUGHED FOR 12 HOURS AT “CHANCLETAZOS”

whATT my little brothers name is santiago n we call him santi for short!! guess it's not rly that uncommon but we live in a small country and he's also 4 so like,, no other santiagos!! idk why im saying this its completely irrelevant just kinda surprised me :'))

OMG wow hell yeah another real life santi...santi acts like a 4 yr old so he might as well be your brother

Just curious.. Do you play sims or just use it for storytelling? Sorry if thats weird haha

well my recent gameplay pics should answer your question lmao. i do like to play but i don’t have enough time to both play and pose scenes so i mostly just pose scenes for now. :[ i am gonna be off work for like two weeks tho so hell yeah gameplay here i come!!

I'm starting a Fiona appreciation movement because she is the real star of santis story RT and i love her and she is way underappreciated and I love her KThxBi

SHE IS THE REAL STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve said this before but santi’s relationship with her is the most important to me, out of every relationship he has in this story. i’m so glad you love her so much, sorry about what’s about to come in the next few scenes tho

Oh my heart, Santi is alive, god exist

I have a pretty hard time understanding Santi's story mostly because I'm not English but I'm sure I'll figure it out:)

ahh oh no D: i’m sorry i wish i spoke every language in the world lmao. if you want, you can message me off anon and i’ll help you understand it!!

Lou is an angel honestly

“there are worse things than seeing an angel before you die”

what tablet do you use? or how do you draw hair? it looks so pretty.

omg haha i don’t have one! i wish i did tho. all of the brushes i got from deviantart, i’m trying to find the specific ones but they’re all elusive wtf. i’ll post them when i find them! for now, here’s a good guide to drawing hair, by airi <3

Nah nah I always knew you'd save him.....eheheeh.....THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING BABBY SANTEEEEEEEEE DNDDNSKANW YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BLOOD ON UR HANDS AS ALL UR FOLLOWERS COLLECTIVELY DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART BUT DW WE DIDNT BECAUSE UR QN ANGEL....but I toooootally knew you'd save him... /sweats/

I’M GLAD U HAD FAITH <3 i know omfg i would’ve expected a mob at my house if i’d actually killed him. if i ever killed him i would just lay down somewhere and die. that’s it for me

Lou & molly almost always have teeth showing, do you draw them on each pic?x

no, only sometimes i’ve drawn them when i felt like their mouths weren’t matching the expression i wanted. but most of the time it’s just the pose.

is it too late to send 16k dollars to guarantee santi's inclusion in a loving home with loving friends

it is absolutely never too late to send me 16k i promise you that

I just bought school books for $550 who knew studying marine biology could be so fuckING EXPENSIVE

EWW WTF...i’ve been lucky and haven’t had to spend a ton on books in my college career (one time i even went to such lengths that i got access to free trial version of one of my school books in a pdf, screencapped EVERY SINGLE PAGE, which was more than 400 pages, just so i wouldn’t have to spend $70 on it. i love cheating the system)

waIT i never saw ur selfie where is it, must see

u could probably just search “selfie” on my blog and find it, or enjoy the ugly closeup drunk snap i posted last night

Hey guys I'm a happy trans man that has no mental illnesses. I'm fucking pissed about Trump's ban. And to any one that says it's logical FUCK YOU! I'm having flashbacks to don't ask, don't tell because this is the same fucking wacked up logic. I'm so angry, like I'm a human, yes I may require testosterone shots once a month but that's it, I even administer them to myself. I pay for them with my own god damn money so fuck you transphobic bigots who say this law is fair. It's not. WE ARE HUMAN TOO Also same anon that ranted. Sorry about that I'm just really pissed and I love and thank you for sticking up for the community. We love you and I love you. And you're right not all trans people transition. We all do what we want to. Some start on T or E and have the full surgery. Some just have top surgery. Some just do testosterone or estrogen. Some never do anything. We're all still trans and we're all valid.

YES ALL OF THIS, sorry i didn’t answer this when it was all happening. but askdkjfas thank you for this message, I LOVE YOU TOO, SO MUCH <333 and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to voice this in my inbox. yes every trans person is valid no matter what they decide to do with their bodies <3

One of those old hot topic shirts that said " if Darryl dies we riot " but with santi instead of Darryl.

OMG LMAOOOOO NOW THAT’S A CONCEPT who’s making these i want one

your use of references and reaction pics and gifs fucken KILLS ME

Crystal anon here. I googled around my area to find there are none of those y'know, crystal, candle, incense, magic type shops. I have panic attacks when I go outside and I wanted to look into alternative stuff since I'm on meds and w/e. I wanted to know if you or friends had any experience or recommendations for buying crystals online like on etsy or amazon. How can you tell if they're real?x

ooooh ok. usually there are shops like those in cities or even in towns with like kitschy little promenades with independent shops. (i know there’s one around the town over from mine, which is so random lmao) i do have friends that have crystals but i think they mostly just collect them for the ~good vibez~ and don’t really look too far into the healing aspects of them. i would say first go with the one that coincides with your birth because those are the ones that are like specifically catered to you and strengthen your being. as for buying online, hmmmmm i mean i don’t really know any specific trustworthy sellers because i don’t have much experience with this, but definitely read the reviews! those will help you a lot <3

Hello could you please tell us how you edited the pic of rooney in that one post that the anon asked for the unedited version?

i honestly didn’t do much of anything that differs from my usual editing process! i made her eyes a bit bigger by using the clone tool, cloning the top of her eye and applying it a little bit farther up...if that makes sense. it’s hard to explain how to use that tool lmao. and i think i used the liquify tool to bring part of her eyebrow down to look more worried.

there's still a part of me that says she ain't dead and molly is just in a coma lmao end mE

OMFLDKGKJS yeah she’s not dead surprise. i WILL say there is still flashback stuff that will be revealed. well not “revealed” like molly’s death was revealed, like i just still have to showcase some things that happened afterward. because it doesn’t just end with molly’s death, there’s stuff after that as well :~}

I'm Mexican, have lived around Mexicans, have been to Mexico multiple times growing up, just came back from a family trip at practically the border between Mexico and Guatemala and never in my life have I ever heard the word "joder" i had to look it up xD (not hating or anything I just thought I'd mention it cuz I found it funny...lol) k bye...

OK NOT SURE IF the ppl you’ve been around just don’t curse or whatever but...joder is DEFINITELY something i’ve heard mexican people say before lmao

Okay so this is random, but i was telling my sister the name of one your characters in ur story (santi) and she kinda just starts singing his name, and she said "santi high, santi low, santi go." And im just sitting there, like woah.

LMFAO WHATKNJDSKJGD “woah” same

u gonna incorporate fis hat into a really like emotional sad thing in her story huh

oMG i wasn’t planning on it but hmm 🤔

Why no el chingo? NO ME GUSTA (I'm joking btw ily)

LMFAOOOO because i didn’t wanna have to defile my son by downloading the penis mod RIP

let santi grow out dem eyebrows 2kforever

omg he does let them grow out except for the little line he shaved in when he was 14 that never grew back RIP

in ur bio it says "kt" and i know why,, it means killing them as in killing off ur characters slowly i see u gurl

i bet this story was just an excuse for you to see the world burn. well done.

OMG i mean, that was definitely one of the side effects of it all. but really it was just that i NEEDED to get this story out after it had lived in my brain for so long.

ur dead 2 me

I... just.... can't... too much pain Y U DO DIS 2 UZ?!?!!!

[sunnysidewrites]

92 Questions Tag

tagged by the lovely @kakaotaeks​ rIP I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM DOING THIS BUT,,,, GET TO KNOW ME!!! 

THE LAST

drink: water

phone call: my dad LOL

text message: my irl friend

song you listened to: honeyst - like you wHICH IS A BOP STOP SLEEPING ON HONEYST

time you cried: i dont remember,,,, i cry quite easily,,,,,,

dated someone twice: lmAO GOOD ONE

kissed someone and regretted it: LMAO!!! GOOD ONE!!!

been cheated on: i have to date someone in order for this to happen

lost someone special: a relative :((

been depressed: not depressed but there have been times where i just felt useless!!!

gotten drunk and thrown up: no

3 FAVORITE COLORS

purple/lavender

light blue

aqua green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

made new friends: yes a few but not much!

fallen out of love: no what does it feel like to be in love,,, i wonder,,,

laughed until you cried: i woulDNT BE SURPRISED IF I DID

found out someone was talking about you: um,,, idk,,,,, but i also definitely wouldn’t be surprised,,,,,,,,,,,,,

met someone who changed you: hm not sure i got really close with a few people tho

found out who your friends are: uhhhhh,,, i guess???????

kissed someone on your Facebook list: i never kissed anyone, period

GENERAL

how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all

do you have any pets: no cAN SOMEONE PLS GIVE ME A PUPPY!!!

do you want to change your name: there were times where i thought other names sounded better but at the end of the day i love my name!!

what did you do for your last birthday: i bought a cake,,, that’s it

what time did you wake up: i have summer class so i gotta wake up at around 9, 8 sometimes, but usually i wake up at like 10

what were you doing at midnight last night: ,,,,,tumblr,,,,,,,, gdi why am i like this

name something you can’t wait for: to master what i wanna pursue

when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago or smth?

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: me LOL :(

what are you listening to right now: im listening to my calming music playlist sooo,,,

have you ever talked to a person named tom: no wtf lmao wHAT KIND OF QUESTION

something that is getting on your nerves: a lot of things,,, just a lot

most visited website: idk i go on tumblr a lot but there’s also youtube and my email

LOST QUESTIONS

mole(s): yeee

mark(s): yes,,, i think

childhood dream: i wanted to be a lot of things lmao be a teacher, writer, actress, the list goeS ON

hair color: dark dark brown i find the color nice when the sunlight shines on it bc it looks like regular brown!

long or short hair: LONG HAIR FTW

do you have a crush on someone: not really i just find one or two guys cute but not worth investing my time in

what do you like about yourself: nothing lol im trash????

blood type: i DONT KNOW WHAT MY BLOOD TYPE IS :(((

piercings: i have earrings!

nickname: ill keep that a secret

relationship status: married to 6 husbands im single

zodiac: cancer!!!!

pronouns: she/her

favorite tv show: well i love kim possible a lot and for kdramas the list never ends :)))

tattoos: none

right or left handed: right

surgery: none

sport: um?? lol??? im athletically challenged

vacation: i’ve only been to hawaii aND ITS SO BEAUTIFUL I MISS IT!! i wanna go to a bunch of european and asian countries there’s a lot of places i wanna go,,,,

pair of shoes: converse, vans, combat boots, running shoes (lmao i dont exercise tho,,, i just had them for PE)

MORE GENERAL

eating: NOODLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! N O O D L E S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY CHOW MEIN AND PASTA AND SPAGHETTI OMG I CAN GO ON FOREVER

drinking: i like drinking water and anything with mint chocolate or just chocolate or mocha,,,, you get the point

I’m about to: do my assignment uGH I WANNA KMS

waiting for: me to get my life together smh

want: food,,,, and sleep,,,,,,,,,,

get married: i mOST DEFINITELY WANNA GET MARRIED but i dont have to worry about that for a while

career: something involving computer science!!

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses: I AM A STRONG ADVOCATE FOR BOTH and it also depends on the person,,, obviously if its with my s/o both but anyone else is a hug and it also depends on the kiss iDK IT JUST DEPENDS LMAOO

lips or eyes: eyez eyez 

shorter or taller: tall but not way too tall

older or younger: same age or older!!

nice arms or nice stomach: idk i dont really care that’s not the first thing i think about??? y not both idk???? idc????

hook up or relationship: relationship always!!! i only wanna do long-term

troublemaker or hesitant: um idk??? i would say both in appropriate conditions, but rather than troublemaker i would say adventurous i dont want a troublemaker lmao

HAVE YOU EVER

kissed a stranger: no

drank hard liquor: lmao yes but it was at a wedding so like,,,, and that was my only time

lost glasses/contact lenses: no

turned someone down: no one likes me???

sex on the first date: N TO THE O SPELLS NO!!!

broken someone’s heart: not that im aware of,,,, :((

had your heart broken: well yes but not like that

been arrested: no

cried when someone died: yes

fallen for a friend: eh when i was younger but not atm

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself: ,,,,,,,well,,,,, depends,,,,,,,,,,,

miracles: yes sure!!

love at first sight: idk this is where it gets fuzzy,,,, more like attraction at first sight bc thats real dont lie

santa clause: no

kiss on the first date: sure!! depends on how comfortable i am w them but i would like to take things a lil slow

angels: sure??? idk??

OTHER

eye color: brown im boring

favorite movie: dont rlly have one,,,,,, but i like disney movies,,,, :’)))

ok who to tag um i dont really have a lot of ppl to tag so this list is gonna be pretty short: @mintyjihoon @justkpopjokes @mansaeboysbe @7teentexts @chanilovehours and anyone else reading this!! mention me so i can see it!! :)

[kkukkung]

"kiho is... fascinating rly" what do u mean 👀

their relationship dynamic is v fascinating and fanfic fuel.. lov the way kihyun... needs to win... and wonho kind of lets him........ but also they’re v tender idk LOV this photoset... ykh is always 100% serious when he attacks ??? but then he’s a very... aftercare guy.... bye

more asks under the cut (dated newest to oldest)

u kno that thing kihyun does when he has the camera where he like...tilts his head back a lil and shakes it a bit. it cute

hate 2 admit this but he rly is.... v c*te... v sexy 2 when he’s BEHIND the camera and he squints and grits one side of his teeth... ok ok ok ok alright alright alr

i dont rlly think hoseok is bi i think hes pan like if hes in love he doesnt rlly care what gender they are

mmm i use the two v interchangeably bc currently i don’t think there is a clear distinction between them? what u said is the traditional dictionary difference but a lot of bisexual people identify with that too and a lot of pansexual people don’t? like from what i’ve been observing, the bi = binary genders/more than one gender, pan = all genders thing doesn’t rly seem to help that much in establishing the difference btwn them? for example........ i usually say im bi irl and pan on tumblr just bc of the difference between levels of lgbtq understanding under varied contexts... but that obviously doesn’t apply to everyone... so yeah frankly i’m still confused abt the difference between them and i guess... just letting ppl fall into whatever they think is right for them is the only way to go? but like tell me if i’m getting smth wrong here lol. also i saved the url pansexualwonho shfjdkgj

hello bunny do u have a wishlist

no and get off my blog stinky

leave ur gf for me

what does it mean when ur gf has a bf and ur also kind of seeing kakashi hatake?? :/ are we all dating by association??

wonho looks like jooheon and IM sugar daddy in that picture or something....

jshgjfk i think this was abt the units teaser photo right? (x) tbh i feel like jooheon looks more sugar daddy here but wonho has a lot of potential... he’d definitely Spoil the person(s) he’s dating :/

I just checked and the members of that new variety show minhyuk will be in are all giants, they are all above 180cm, well besides actually minhyuk lolz it's kinda funny, but I guess he won't need to make himself seem smaller since he's the tiny one this time

my breath hitched when i read this ??? aaa ur right... tbh i don’t know how im going to... survive this show bc it’s... so blindingly... visual?? have high hopes for it i know he’s going to do so well... and ummmmmMM imagine him... making himself XXXXXXXXXXXXXS precisely bc he knows it’s going to b cute n like... tucking himself against eunwoo or smth i might die

YOUR TAGS MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!

THANK U?????? 💖💖💖💖💖 cute anons make me happi :’0

to reaffirm you as a wonho stan: you have 149 pages filed under wonho on your blog but only 118 under minhyuk. however i believe recently 3/5 of your posts are minhyuk posts.

this felt like it was heading somewhere but the second half jfkhgsj i mean,,

do you know where that picture of kihyun and the join forces with communists or end star wars picture is from with his hand up on a bluish greyish wall i rlly like his hand there u know and I think that we sHould join forces with him and he's right we need to make a stand for it but anyways if u know where the pocture is from may u pls share it thnx I lov ur blog lots

@marxistkihyun

[nsfw text warning] i was reading this wonhyuk fic and thought of u immediately archiveofourown org/works/10314092 mostlytop!mh slight daddy kink mh takes extra care of wh :') enjoy

UH ANON................ HOW DID U KNOW....... EXACTLY WHAT I LIKE...... AND THIS LINE... THIS LINE... “He likes Hoseok, but he likes when pretty girls tie him up and sit on his face too”,,,,,,,, rly the best lmh characterisation i’ve ever read sdjkfgh gbye this was rly sweet and well-written and realistic and i think??? i lov u?? and i lov my poly + bi boyfriends :(((( thank u sm for the rec i rly enjoyed it

i'm east asian too and non-asian ppl keep telling me that "rat" and "snake" are racial slurs and i've never heard of such a thing until i joined kpop fandom (rly recently). if you want my honest opinion it's another one of those things where like... overzealous SJWs nitpick terminology and project on POC even tho they have never experienced it themselves... idk. i rly have never heard any of those terms used against asians before as racial slurs...i've seen other asian fans also question this

(regarding this ask) yeah lmao i mean............ the more i think abt it the more i feel like it was ??? just such a strange thing to have been told... and the way it was said as well... like “this is a racial slur so don’t say it” feels condescending ?? like, me, an east asian person, being “educated” abt racism against east asian people by an anon on the internet for a post that had zero connection to race and terms taken way out of context (that generally aren’t racially charged anyway).... ok lol

Wonho decided to change the title from ^give it to you^ to ^524^ I wonder if it's because of their debut date or something similar?

yes~ 5.14 is their debut date! it was also the time on the clock in the teaser :3c but it still doesn’t rly explain why he changed it? strange bc i thought the song would b emo bc of the changed title but it was kinda.. boppy?? sounds more like a “give it 2 u” than a “last page” hmm but gotta hear the whole thing first ig

I have the impression that Wonho is a sensitive person, he can get hurt easily (but won't hold grudges) and carry his emotions for a really long time. I think he tends to delve in his emotions and thoughts constantly and is thoughtful of when/how he should share them to not burden others. He's ALL IN for his members, trying to cheer them up and tying them all together [rmbr when he made JooHyuk hug to avoid misunderstandings or when he gave Jooheon the biggest sweet potato] in a subtle way.

yessssssssssssssss yes i don’t have anything to add here yes yes yes he’s just... the best guy :(

The Monsta X/GOT7 Psychologist ISN'T A psychoanalist. AFAIK Psychoanalysis avoid archetypes, because the patient can use it as a excuse. Also, to psychoanalysis there isn't a cure, there's only a savoir-faire which means you won't change your past, but you can change how you feel about it, sometimes being able to extract lessons from those painful memories. Psychoanalysis works with words, the way we phrase things is how we conceive reality. So don't underrate your literal analysis+observations.

aaa thank u sm.......... i rly learnt a lot from u thank u v insightful.... pop psychology is fun but ig we have to be careful to not... confound it with the Real Thing and hold mx to it?? anyway thank u sm for taking the time to type out all ur asks they were v helpful!

wonho has honestly tried to kill minhyuk an incredible amount of times but in the end always remembers he can't commit murder in front of a camera...........................

idk wonho choking minhyuk was rly the hottest thing ive ever seen jsfhg bye God I Wish That Were Me

in that live where u said minhyuk tapped wonhos bicep with his little alien claw was honestly was so c*te... especially the contrast btwn mh featherless chicken feet fingers and wonho thiccness..... wonhyuk are rly so comfortable and natural with each other like u can't rly see it but it looks like wonho let go of the camera with the arm that was being tapped to hold minhyuks hand/wrist..................................................c*te

uh put thi s on my grave...... i love wonhyuk sm i could die :( they rly lov each other sm jkdgfhsdjkgfhhkkdg

Hellooo!

henlo rabbit

maybe im just naïve but starship ent. is overall an alright company - with all groups they promote they seem to be fair and equal and overall supportive :/ which makes me rlly thankful my children aren't being neglected;;

ahh yeah i think on the whole they’re not bad with mx... apart from when they didn’t send members to the hospital after they were in a literal car crash??? and idk just not great promo times and minor organisational things.. bc they have a certain amount of faith in mx the investment isn’t too shabby. but with like... other groups... like boyfriend...... idk ?? they were just shipped off to japan and never heard from again? and even sistar i mean, the conditions they worked in at the beginning was appalling :/