#but if you learned to use her effectively you would gain the fear and respect of your fellow players... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

revyved · 1 year ago

Text

@oakvessel said: approach slow, infinitely more aware of how lumbering each step is than he's ever been. and once close enough, he does not linger like so -- does not allow himself to be the looming, intimidating figure many believe him to be. the druid takes to a knee, kneeling before her with his head hanging in a solemn bow. a sign of respect, perhaps, but more so a desperate request for forgiveness he feels unworthy of. " daughter of selûne. to see you living, breathing once more -- it is a merciful relief to this old heart. i have wronged you. even when i told myself it was a matter of defense, i have carried the stain of your blood all this time with no end to the guilt. had i been a stronger leader, a less impulsive, reactive warrior... none of this would have happened as it did. i do not deserve your forgiveness, i've a century's worth of wrongs to undo in these lands, but i submit myself to your judgement all the same. " / hi isobel <3

it's over. though the cult of the absolute still looms overhead like a brewing thunderstorm, threatening their future peace, isobel feels differently than she had the past few months. her father is effectively gone, the shadow curse dispelled, now simply tasked with journeying to baldurs gate. finally, for many of the kind souls she's met along the way.

one soul that gives isobel pause. only briefly did the cleric of selûne see halsin before their attack on moonrise -- his figure imposing, yet the demeanor of a gentle breeze. his appearance surprised her, even if she couldn't place why. they must have met ... must have had an argument, or disagreement, something to explain the dread seeping into her slow-beating heart.

yet the truth is so much worse. her smile, worn without regard, inevitably sinks from her pale features the longer halsin speaks whilst knelt before her. something inside her urges her to run, to gain distance between them lest this go horribly wrong. but why ? why is he saying this ? " forgive me, i may not understand what ... what -- " before she can finish, a familiarly agonizing sharp pain fills her chest.

isobel's eyes widen in fear, choking on a gasp much like the time she choked on her own crimson blood. she looks down as if expecting to find the same spear impaled through her ribs, quickly taking a small step back. " you --- IT WAS YOU. i remember having that talk. it was supposed to be a talk. " her hands fly to her mouth, halsin's apology ( confession ) finally settling over her, their own shadow curse.

she remembers a cold, empty presence lingering over her those final days. everything felt hopeless ; even what should've been a bloodless encounter. tears fill her moonlight eyes, though she does not flee from halsin. she will not cower from the man who took her life. perhaps it changed him as much as it did her. " moon mother preserve me, i remember. and if my memories are not false, you were not the first to attack. "

fingers dig into her face, hiding herself momentarily. it hurts, so much so it's difficult to breathe. " i know not why i struck you ... it's not something that crossed my mind initially, and the consequences ... " she shakes her head, dropping her hands to her side. slowly she reaches forward, palm resting upon halsin's broad shoulder. " what happened is a tragedy. i suspect an outside source did us no favors, but that doesn't change anything. "

a vague smile returns, albeit much sadder than before. " you do not appear to me as someone elated to kill. my death's brought you nothing but turmoil, it seems, and i do hope you can learn to forgive yourself for what occurred that day. i can forgive you. it seems i -- just need time to process. i had forgotten everything, and you could've easily left it as so. your courage inspires me to find my own. "

#oakvessel #･ﾟ♢ ic ; isobel #[ what if i cry actually ]

2 notes · View notes

matildaschmidttrades · 3 months ago

Text

The Value of Learning: Mistakes as Stepping Stones

I have learned that education constitutes a process that plays a huge role in the development of the trader as well as in trading itself. Most of the time, knowledge can be attained in different ways: it can be acquired by studying theories, by practising what has been learned, but, as it has been experienced, the most useful lessons can be learned from the mistakes we make in the process. This is my approach to learning with examples of the identified modes and why mistake acceptance is vital.

Theoretical Learning: Building a Foundation

It is noteworthy that theoretical learning plays a role in trading at all. They are offering the basic knowledge that a person should possess for him/her to make sense of markets, trading and the existence of economies. When I first began my trading experience, I plunged myself into books and courses trying to gather information on theories and analysis of the market. Interestingly, although this knowledge is useful, I came to understand it as rather sterile as I was exposed to real-time trading conditions.

Experiential Learning: Gaining Practical Skills

We learn where we go and what we do for real. This theory was within good agreement with the experience I had of applying it in real market situations which assist in embedding the given concepts. The first was the Demo account where I practiced using strategies without risking the real money. It is an excellent way of building confidence as well as ease in to the management of actual projects without the hazards of incurring very huge losses. What was more important, every trade — whether won or lost — helped me in getting a better feel of the market.

As many people know, it is from our mistakes that we learn the best lessons.

But the deepest learning occurred during the failures I encountered during my internship. Every mistake made me break down what happened, think about the process, and find ways to improve it. Here’s what I learned:

Embracing Failure: Early on, I feared failure. But as I opened my arms to embrace the mistake that I made I realized that every mistake is a step towards improvement. Each mistake was a learning experience with respect to my tactics and character.

Developing Problem-Solving Skills: Sometimes, if I made a mistake, I had to analyze what happened and come up with ways through which it could be rectified. This helped me enhance my trading skills, and served as a preparation for future tasks.

Fostering Innovation: Many of my most successful plans were born out of experimentation and subsequent failure. This allowed me to find creative ways to approach different problems, which I was able to use to be different from other traders.

Building Confidence: As I progressed through my project, every mistake I made served to strengthen my self-assurance. I also mastered how to make decisions on my own in relation to the market, which gave me confidence and assurance.

Lastly, I would like to mention that theoretical knowledge and practical experience are critical but the most significant lessons can be drawn from failures. I have learned that failure can be beneficial to one’s personal development as well as towards the improvement of one’s approaches to trading.

In a nutshell, it might be beneficial for those who have some background in finance and trading but wish to broaden and enhance their knowledge under the guidance of successful traders while having a membership at ORION Wealth Academy. Their professors’ courses and fellow students can give the help and information that can be helpful in the processes of the market. It is therefore important to learn how to transform your mistakes into lessons that foster your enhanced trading experience.

As everyone knows, every mistake is a lesson; let ORION assist you on your way to becoming a more effective trader!

#forexstrategy #forextrading #forex online trading #forexprofit #forexmentor #forexsignals #forexbroker #forexmarket #forex

0 notes

courtfallen · 5 days ago

Text

𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔦𝔱 𝔰𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔤𝔬 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔯 — on that wintry training pitch? the crystalline snow had caught on the ends of her lashes, and he had found her just as beautiful then, just as headstrong and statuesque. a storm on the horizon he longed to open his arms & wingspan to receive & endure. she had brought a fierceness, a fury, a determination that matched his own. while her air had disarmed him in that first meeting, vyros had come to know her by the sharp and defensive strike of her twin blades against his greatsword, the icy glint in her eyes that so starkly contrasted the fire in her spirit, the velvet dark of her skin.

despite vyros being her mentor, she had been his teacher in many ways. from her, he had learned his place as a warrior and mentor, how to compartmentalize his emotions, to put duty before selfish wants and desires. his longing for her had always been there, somewhere beneath the verglas, but if he had not set it aside and challenged her, would he have succeeded in effectively training her?

his eyes darken at her words, not because he doesn’t hear the echo of kindness in them, but because he knows in his heart she was destined to be great, and the part he played in her life was small, in the grand scheme; to think she needed him to blossom into the high ruler she was today was a discredit to her character and ability. her rise as the winter court’s ruler was inevitable, not because of the people that flocked to her like waves to the shore, but because of her gravitas, her power, her presence.

so he kept his gloves on, transforming all of that yearn for her into harsh critique and even more punishing practice. tender emotion metamorphized to leveling blows. forbidden touches to demanding barks. unrequited ache to perfect form. perhaps he had done something for her in denying himself so much, and that was the only reason he was here now — at the edge of a precipice he couldn't brave, the bank of a river he wouldn't allow himself to cross. he would stand at the edge of the fire and feel its sting gladly if it meant she was protected, that he lived his life in the service of that endeavor. that was all that was permitted to a warrior, after all. and a gift that he should love, however quietly, who and what he would give his life for.

❝ no matter. you would be who are today whatever the obstacles you faced, whatever shadows flanked you. you can have all of the support in the world, but it comes down to you, desmera. ❞ there it is, that mentor's steel. ❝ and you will not forsake your court, your duty, your birthright. you have my respect and my fealty for that ... among other reasons. ❞ and she would always, even if she turned her back on it all. ❝ i know the mantle is heavy, the shifting a burden on you. i will do whatever's in my power to protect you from that weight. ❞ his eyes are on her now, careful not to drop to her full lips as she speaks. ❝ it's my fear whoever uncovers the truth of it will not share it willingly, will hoard that knowledge for their own gain and not share it for faekind as a whole. it would be too easy a thing for one of prythian's courts to leverage that knowledge for more power. ❞ ochre eyes drift skyward and he lets out a sigh. ❝ mother help us. ❞

there's a twitch at the corner of his lips at her words, a smile that won't bloom, but lives somewhere beneath all those glacial layers, only for her. ❝ i left for selfish reasons, ❞ he admits. ❝ but you know that. and i know myself now, know my directive, my purpose. i belong at your side. ❞

in her youth, desmera had been all too certain that the general hated her. that he thought her spoiled and ill fit for a training ground. she'd worked twice as hard to prove him wrong, and in recent years had come to realize that may have been the goal all along. whether he'd done it intentionally or not was a mystery, but the harsh training and impossible standards had built the strength in her that she needed to survive taking the throne of winter. it made her able to withstand the fiercest snow storms and weather anything that came their way. it allowed her not to get lost in the gossip of her court, of what prythian thought of her. perhaps it worked too well, for the high lady was every embodiment of ice now more than not.

desmera's heart twists when he compliments her, words she'd always wished to hear when she were just a trainee with a sword. now she was his superior, and for some reason the sweetness of his offering to her has to get tampered down. she can't let herself pick apart each thing he says and think it more than what he means. " i've been what i was built to be by the people around me. " she doesn't explicitly say he was one of those people, he can figure that out for himself. desmera still harbored this childlike annoyance to not give him everything. she'd done it in her youth, part of how she ignored the girlish crush on the illyrian warrior who hated her. but did he ? he'd come back, and that action alone had sent a spiral of thoughts into her mind that she kept steeled away more often than not. everything about desmera was carefully crafted, the walls of her mind and her emotions fortified to withstand a blizzard.

her eyes watch as he moves to store his sword, why she's always found the thing intimidating is beyond her. des was no weakling, but she was rarely small when compared to the other. she'd also never preferred great swords, more of a twin sword girl which often got mistaken as a need for more weapons. she's not trained in some time with anything really, slowly being too busy by court matters to do what she enjoyed. lailah tried as hard as she could to get the high lady out to the training grounds, but duty would always dictate her life. she had little choice in anything now, despite holding the highest seat in her court. she wondered if the general would lecture her on letting herself slip.

" oh, i pray to the mother i never have to shift despite what circumstances we face. " she hated it, not that she'd admitted that to anyone. in truth, she'd not really meant to hint at as much now. vyros had a way of noticing the things she didn't say, finding the weaknesses she wanted to ignore. he'd done it when he trained her, would he do it now ? her beast form was powerful, but terrifying and exhausting. she didn't wish to shift into it again in her lifetime. when vyros moves, des picks her head up from his sword and watches him, dissects him. she had just caught him in a rather deep moment, after all. her worry was still simmering despite battling with the need to let it go ignored. " that is not a solo task, general. it is something we are all trying to figure out. " he had a way of taking on everything himself, and as a member of her inner circle she hoped he would learn he could lean on the others, lean on her.

head cocked, she lets each word he replies settle in her soul. she always knew she could trust him, even when he was the bane of her existence and every star of her annoyances. being safe with vyros had never been a question, and so few had the ability to allow her that. " you are free to leave whenever you desire, vyros. i called you back because i could think of no other to serve in your position, but i am not ignorant to the knowledge that you have your own life and desires. " she doesn't want him to go, but would that be easier than whatever they were doing ? " the list of what you could do to be seen as ineffective in my eyes is very small, general. it will not be me who releases you of your service to the winter court. " she adds.

#vyros.#threads: vyros & desmera.

17 notes · View notes

backmaskedliedermacher · 2 years ago

Text

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Coming out as trans and starting transition at age 43 was terrifying for me. I was acutely aware of all the things I might lose by doing so, and little conception of what I could possibly gain. Of all the things I was scared of losing - family, friends, career - one stood out above all the others: the fear that transition would cost me my marriage. I valued my spouse more than anyone and anything else in the world. Having her in my life was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I couldn't imagine living without her.

I turned out to be lucky. My spouse, who identified as a cisgender, heterosexual woman, didn't fully understand gender transition. She didn't - couldn't - know what it might mean for our marriage. She didn't and couldn't know whether she would be able to stay with me, whether she would able to be married to a woman. She was, however, willing and able to travel along with me and find out.

She turned out to be my strongest ally. As I transitioned, she found herself loving me more, in both body and spirit. Transition made me a better, stronger person, and having her support made that process much easier than it otherwise would have been. I am profoundly grateful to her, for everything she's done for me, just before and after my transition.

Two years after starting my transition, I broke up with her.

Why did I do it? There are several long and short answers to that question. I'm going to start out with some of the long ones.

There are lots of ways to understand transition, but there's one process, above all else, that defines transition for me. It's not someone's name or clothes or hormones or surgery. My experience of transition is that it is the process of learning to value yourself more than who other people want you to be.

Before I transitioned, I did not love or value myself. My finding is that someone who has this experience, which is common to many, perhaps most, people repressing their gender identity, is going to have a really difficult time being in a healthy relationship.

In my case I didn't - couldn't, really - effectively take care of myself. My everyday experience was defined and controlled by my acute bouts of overwhelming emotional pain. I could neither predict nor effectively control these attacks. I needed my spouse to continue to function on a basic level.

The expectations I placed on my partner weren't healthy or fair. Nobody deserves to be treated the way I treated her when the gender dysphoria broke through the wall of dissociation I tried to control it with. She had, it turns out, grown up with an abusive father, and was well used to being treated worse than any human being deserved to be treated by people she loved. She was used to being afraid of the people she loved. She was used to feeling responsible for the behavior of the people she loved. In all other respects the way I behaved around her, when I was at my worst, was nothing like the way her father treated her, so she could tell herself that I was nothing like her dad.

Just like I could tell myself she was nothing like my mom. Some of the things she said to me… well. Nobody deserves to be treated the way she treated me, sometimes. I knew that. I know what sort of behavior is appropriate and what sort of behavior isn't appropriate. It was just that before my transition, I had bigger problems to worry about.

We were both willing to make compromises most people wouldn't. We were both familiar with having to make terrible choices simply in order to survive.

There is, perhaps, a word that springs to mind when I describe the nature of our relationship when things were at their worst. That word is "abusive". I don't feel comfortable using that word to describe our relationship. I know that many people repressing their transness have a pattern of getting involved in abusive relationships. I have seen this behavior in my friends, in other people in my communities, over and over again. I see people starting transition with partners who are supportive of their transition, but are in other ways appallingly abusive. I see people starting transition who adore their partners, who value their partners more than anything else in the world, and the rest of us around them are doing everything we can to stop from screaming at the top of our lungs at them to get out, to for God's sake get out now.

I don't know or care whether my relationship with my ex was like that. What I do value is that as much as I love her, as much as I value the relationship we had, I don't ever intend to get in a relationship like that again. I work to be responsible for myself, for my words, my behavior, my emotions, in a way that I wasn't before. I am not always great at it, but now that I love myself, now that I value myself, I am better at it. Better at working to establish and maintain healthy emotional boundaries.

I wish we could have fixed the things that were wrong in our relationship, at least to the point where we could have stayed together. I don't know whether we could have, whether we should have. All I can say is that we didn't. That, and that the odds were stacked against us from the start. Repressing and denying our gender identity is the bomb at the heart of our "cishet" relationships. When we transition, we detonate that bomb.

The thing about our relationship is that, before I transitioned, it worked. Being with her was good for me and was good for her. Her support made it possible for me to not just survive, but thrive as I never had before. Even before I transitioned, I grew, learned, accomplished things I never could have without her. And for my part? I was unfailingly kind and compassionate towards her. She could engage in all of the negative self-talked she liked, but I didn't see her that way, would never treat her that way. All of the work she put in to care for me and support me - it wasn't wasted. I loved her, valued her, appreciated her. She hadn't necessarily had a lot of that experience. Sure, our lives weren't always perfect, but we were happy with each other, with our marriage.

That doesn't mean that we looked at each other through rose-colored glasses. We both understood that she was my caretaker, that this was part of the dynamic of our relationship, and neither of us liked or wanted this to be part of our relationship. For us to have a true relationship as equals - this was a shared goal of ours, for more or less the entirety of our relationship.

I didn't realize just how hard creating a relationship like that with her would be. I've heard it said that when one partner transitions, you have to fundamentally change your relationship with them from the ground up, throw out everything and start over again from scratch. Unfortunately, it's not that simple. The past doesn't just go away. Yes, two partners both start out with the deep love and caring they've built up for each other over time, but that's not all that gets carried over.

The love I have for her, the gratitude I have for her, is ineradicable. When some archaeologist digs up my skeleton a thousand years from now, if they look hard enough, they'll find it in my bones. Being with her has changed me, in a real and permanent way.

That's not, however, just something I can measure in love. I can measure that in fear, in pain, in guilt and shame. These feelings are just as much at the heart of my feelings towards each other as love is.

Feelings like that… they can be healed, given time, given work. I've put a lot of work into healing past trauma. Here's what I know about healing trauma: It fucking HURTS. It's a lot to ask. A lot.

I would have done it, mind you. I would have done it. She's worth it to me. I love her. Except even that, even if I did that - it wouldn't be enough.

Probably the least fair thing I did to her was change. Yes, yes, we all have a right to change, being open to change is important, change is good, etc. I changed a lot, though. I'm not just talking growing tits. I'm talking about becoming a different person.

Those of us who are repressing our transness when we enter relationships, hide it from ourselves as well as our partners - we enter into those relationships under false pretenses. That's not intentional. There's no cause or room for guilt or blame there. The consequences, though? Those are unavoidable.

The partners who get trans women's transitions the least, they'll often say things like "I want my husband back", and our mouths will be wide in shock. Who did they think they married? What did they love about us? Our manhood was the thinnest of veneers, a shell. Did they really fall in love with a cardboard cutout of a man? How could they not see that everything they loved in us was not just still there, but that we now had more of it?

Love is more than gender. Our changes, though, tend to go beyond the changes most people think of as "gender". Before my transition, I was one of the most deeply introverted people you could imagine. That was one of the strongest things my ex and I had in common. We preferred a quiet night in together to parties, concerts, social events.

A couple months on hormones and it turns out that whoops! I'm not an introvert after all. It's just that it's exhausting and unpleasant to have to pretend to be someone I'm not socially. All of a sudden I want to go out dancing every night. I'm a better person, a happier person, a more capable, stronger person, but we're just not compatible like we used to be. People in relationships have needs, and I changed to the extent that I could no longer meet hers.

Because it's not just dancing I'm suddenly interested in all of a sudden. I'm interested in doing lots of other things. And I'm not interested in doing them with her.

This isn't something I feel like I can really explain to cis people. I'm not writing this for cis people. I'm writing this for trans people who are telling themselves the things that I told myself - that after everything she did for me, that I owed her monogamy. That sex wasn't really important. Certainly not important enough to torpedo the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Well. Second best now, I guess.

Mia Mulder, as an aside in her most recent video, "Is Masculinity In Crisis?", hypothesizes that the changes we have to go through in order to transition, all of the assumptions we have to question, make it easier, more likely, for us to question other social norms, and that this is why so many of us are, in her words, "super gay polyamorous slutbags".

That's the short form. You want to know why I broke up with my ex? It's because I'm a super gay polyamorous slutbag.

That's not who we're supposed to be, who cis people expect us to be. We're supposed to be brave. Virtuous. Ordinary people trying to live ordinary lives, just like them. We're not supposed to be freaks who just want to do drugs, suck dick, and burn shit down. If I tell my co-workers about my girlfriend, none of them will blink an eye. If I slip up and tell them about my girlfriends…

I think what Mia's theory is on target, but personally, I've found that it's more than that, even, for me. I have a pamphlet explaining basic self-defense skills for transfemmes. What's stuck with me most is something it says on the cover: "Because what works for other people doesn't work for us."

That's it in a nutshell. Part of transition was realizing that everything I believed about myself and the world was wrong. That shit just didn't work for me anymore. The only way I could keep doing that was by valuing what other people wanted me to be over who I am.

My ex and I never had a very good sexual relationship. Dysphoria affects trans women in all kinds of different ways. Like many trans women, it was necessary for me to dissociate in order to be sexually intimate with my partner. Any physical pleasure I got from the act was far and away overshadowed by the overwhelming sense of wrongness sex as a man left me with.

After transition, I wanted, needed, to figure out what sex actually meant to me. To figure out what I actually wanted. I wanted to know completely what others so discreetly talked about.

The respectable thing - no, the fair thing would have been to figure this out within the confines of the monogamous relationship I had with my spouse. She loved me. She was attracted to me physically. If I was going to figure out my sexuality, of course I should do that with the woman I loved. Right?

I didn't know how I was supposed to do that. Our entire sexual history had consisted of me doing things I hated, doing things I never wanted to do again, never wanted to think about again. Tried not to think about while doing them, in fact. That was my sexual history. I spent ten years conditioning myself to not think about my sexual desires when I was with my partner.

I wasn't going to figure out my sexual desires with her. Wouldn't have been able to do it even if she understood the things I told her about my sexuality, which she didn't.

I guess she thought about sex and relationships about like most people do. She didn't believe in God, wasn't a Christian, but I feel like the phrase "two people becoming one flesh" is a pretty good description of her idea of relationships. (It is, at least, more romantic than her way of phrasing the sentiment.)

I didn't and don't look at relationships that way. I want my partners to be happy, and for them to get what the things that they need, the things that are important to them. If there's something that's important to them that I can't give them, I want them to be able to get that thing from someone who can. This gives me joy. The word polyamorous people use for this feeling is "compersion".

To my ex's view - the prevailing, normative view - if I can't give my partner something that's important to them, that means I'm a failure as a partner. To my ex's view, having multiple intimate partners is greedy, disrespectful, and licentious. It is cheating. Full stop.

Even beyond this, there's a whole variety of intimacy my partner was unable to comprehend. When I started my sexual exploration, I wasn't certain I even wanted sex. Sex wasn't what I craved. It was loving touch.

This is really normal for trans women, and has been for a long time. Jan Morris talks pretty clearly about having these desires in her memoir Conundrum. A lot of us are just completely starved for loving touch, and have been for a long time. The normative concept of this sort of loving touch is "foreplay". I find the assumption that loving touch is intrinsically linked to sex… well, just as bizarre and incomprehensible as she seems to have found my belief that loving touch isn't intrinsically linked to sex.

Back in the days when I marveled that even one person would find me tolerable to be around, these fundamental disconnect weren't an issue. I didn't desire intimate relationships with anyone, including my current partner. This was no longer the case.

So of course we talked about it. That was the basis of our relationship. We talked through things. We came to a common understanding. We worked out our problems.

We couldn't work out this one.

What she needed from me - total emotional and physical monogamy - was clear, clearly expressed, and non-negotiable. When we talked about the issue, what I was talking about made her feel afraid, angry, pressured to do things she didn't want to do.

I didn't always treat my ex as well as she deserved to be treated, but when she told me what I was telling her made her feel threatened and coerced, I knew I had to fucking stop doing that. That's not how I treat people I love. Talking our disagreements through was not an option for me, in this case.

So I had to work stuff out on my own. Could I give her what she needed from me? No. Once I knew that, there was only one option left.

And that's why I broke up with my ex.

Was breaking up with her fair of me to do? No. Did she, does she, deserve better? Yes. Neither of those things matter. I had a choice. I could have stayed with her. I could have buried my desires, chosen not to explore my desires, for the sake of someone else. I'd been down that road. I knew where it led.

Well, that's not entirely fair. Staying with my ex wouldn't literally have killed me the way not transitioning did. I probably could have led a decent, respectable life, if I'd stuck it out. Grown old and died with her in the house we bought to grow old and die in together. I wouldn't have been happy, not the way I am now, but I would've been more secure. Being secure used to be more important to me, back being happy wasn't a real option for me. Being secure used to seem more possible to me.

I don't know. Transition changed me. That's all I can tell you.

0 notes

ketchtwotwo · 2 years ago

Text

E2- The Coward Kell

The order had been given. Unrest amongst the Eliksni was high, causing further discomfort amongst the harsh living conditions they already faced. There were many volunteers for the culling. Many of them elderly, though there were a few young Eliksni willing to die for their families' chances for survival. Of the captains issuing the Kell's decree, only one of them had decided to join Emeski-kel in death. While Gesraks held hope for the future, he held some caution as his people lived on. The two remaining captains were ambitious. A new Kell would be needed. Gesraks feared that a war amongst their people would be inevitable. Perhaps he had predicted as much as he spoke with Emeski-kel, but was wrong about the cause of effect. Of the four captains, the one going to slaughter was the only captain Gesraks believed could have eventually become Kell under normal circumstances.

The last of the volunteers were gone, off to celebrate their final moments with their Kell. Sealing the door behind them, the three remaining captains stood together. Gesraks was the first to speak.

"Adjustment will be... difficult. A new Kell, when the time comes." His fellow leaders began to puff up, each trying to stand taller than the other. "Let their families mourn before you lay any claims to Emeski's legacy. Am I understood?"

The brasher of the two, Captain Adeshki, bore into Gesraks with hateful eyes. "You would tell us what is to be done? So that you can lay claim before either of us, no doubt." The last captain, the elder of the two, grunted in agreement.

"I do no such thing!" Gesraks spat. "I would not sit where my friend sat; she who made me captain. Doing so would bring no honor to her. I do not care which of you ascends to next Kell. But you will do so with respect for the dead." Gesraks shoved past, leaving the two captains behind him. Gesraks was hurting. His pain gave his words av powerful bite, but they were still empty words. He was the weakest of the four captains, and they all knew it.

The Ketch was less occupied now, but the space the volunteers had secured was filled with grief and sorrow. Everywhere Gesraks went, he was met with mournful eyes and heart of despair. Why did they need to suffer so, if only to die themselves in a month's time? Gesraks did not have an answer for the unasked question. He held his head high as he toured the Ketch, greeting those he met and hearing their woes. Power I may not have, Gesraks thought, but respect I can gain.

Weeks had passed and the pain aboard the vessel had not dampened. The two captains, Adeshki and the elder Sotraks, had set their claims upon Emeski's title. They each gained followers and soon the Ketch was divided into two factions. With two 'Kell' on board, the Ketch would soon become a warzone as they battled for superiority. Unbeknownst to the Kells-to-be, Gesraks had gathered a following of his own. Stashed into a small, dark corner inside the Ketch, Gesraks sheltered those that had lost their will to fight. The wayward ones who only cared for survival and could set aside tradition to ensure the civilization was not eaten from the inside out.

With war raging around them, the ether tanks Emeski-kel had sought to prolong were exhausted in a matter of weeks. The last of the servitors struggled to provide for the entire ship and had become the target of the Kells. Ether denial was the plan for success on both sides. Their tactics were ill-thought and poorly executed, with many servitors becoming damaged as they were being targeted, abducted, or recovered.

As badly as his people needed a servitor, Gesraks could not dare to venture out and secure one for himself. He had survived on stealth alone. If the other Kells were to learn of his hideout, Gesraks and his flock would surely be killed or subjugated at the very least. He needed to only wait. One Kell would win. He would pledge to the victor and the people he saved would not need to wage war. Or so he thought.

At last, at the brink of starvation, the war ended. Sotraks had been slain and Adeshki-kel would rule the Ketch. What little was left to be ruled. A matter of months ago they numbered one hundred thousand. Today, no more than two hundred remained. Fifty of those belonged to Gesraks, whom he marched out from their hiding place to meet with the new Kell. He told them to wait behind has he met with the Kell and his captains alone inside the control room.

Vandals were still working on the old ship's wires, though there were fewer now, and fewer still that knew how. The Kell turned his head to the door as Gesraks entered and roared with a laugh that echoed throughout the chamber. "Gesraks, you coward! How the hell did you survive all this time? I was certain you had fallen in battle with Sotraks's ilk."

"I did not align with Sotraks. And you know I did not fight for you. Instead, I cared for our people too weak to fight. Outside of this room, I have fifty Eliksni who are ready to serve Adeshki-kel."

"Ah yes," Adeshki chittered. "Gesraks, Kell of the Weak. Helpless himself, he comes to bend the knee rather than fight for what he wants. You were hoping Sotraks and I slaughtered one another, yes? So that you could win the war without actually fighting in it, yes?"

Gesraks felt a chill ripple through him. He did not like where this conversation was going. "That is not the case, Adeshki-kel. I wished only to preserve our people."

"MY PEOPLE," Adeshki rose swiftly from his throne. Gesraks quickly fell to a knee, bowing to the Kell in a vain attempt to show respect. "These are my people, Gesraks. They are not yours to claim. And my people fought and died for me, whereas these fifty did not. They may as well have been Skotraks's kin."

"We did not align--" Gesraks pleaded.

"You aligned with no one. You have shown your loyalty. It is to your own skin. Not your Kell. I have all the captains I need," Adeski spat. "Otas, remove Gesrak's lower arms. He holds the rank of captain no longer." As Otas approached him, Gesraks quickly rose to his feet and began to stagger back. He had half a thought to use the shrapnel launcher around him, but the number of barrels pointed at Gesraks assured him that he would never have that chance. Just as Gesraks had lost hope, the ship churned, and a shockwave rippled through the hull. Otas lost his balance and the Eliksni that held him at gunpoint eyed their kell. Utilizing the chaos, Gesraks fled from the room and returned to those that had chosen peace. He implored them to flee, that the Kell would kill them before recognizing them as their own. Together they returned to their hiding place as they heard sounds of gunfire erupt throughout the Ketch. At one point, Gesraks could have sworn he had heard someone say, "Guardian Down!"

0 notes

thefanficmonster · 3 years ago

Text

Interesting Encounters

Corpse Husband *& Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Paranoia and Fear of Invasion of Privacy

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse has an interesting run-in with his regular delivery girl, having the chance to talk to her for the first time despite her having been delivering to his door for months. It’s a big step in overcoming his anxiety and paranoia when talking to strangers.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! Hope you come across the final product of your request and give it a read and if so I hope you like it! Sorry for the wait, I hope it was worth it though! Love, Vy ❤

It’s a regular Monday morning, close to 10AM and Corpse’s face is practically glued to the sound editing app he’s downloaded, playing around with some cool effects to add to his voice in the background of the new song he’s been working on. He hasn’t been able to sleep a wink thanks to the immense excitement, not that he would’ve been able to regardless, but the tune and the lines have been stuck in his head all throughout the weekend and he knows they’ll be bothering him until he turns them into something other people will be able to listen and give an opinion on as well. So far he’s done plenty of work but there’s plenty more to go until it’s done. He’s at that point he usually needs feedback and wants to ask for it but would rather not to avoid either too harsh judgement or fake praise.

He slides the headset off, deciding to take a break for the sake of his sanity before he drives himself to insanity with the intensity of his focus on this new piece. His brain just so conveniently sends him a reminder that his groceries are probably waiting for him outside the door. He has, as of the last half a year or so, had someone deliver his groceries to him to avoid trips to the grocery store with both the whole pandemic situation and the growth of following which translates to growth of the risk of him getting recognized. That’s the main reason - and maybe the only one - as to why he doesn’t interact with the people who deliver to him either. He always gives his delivery person the instruction to leave whatever he’s ordered at the doorstep and if it’s not takeout to not even ring the doorbell.

That being said, the deliverer of his groceries doesn’t ring the doorbell to give him the kind reminder to be responsible, but luckily he hasn’t forgotten to collect them yet in the six months he’s been practicing this delivery technique.

Going to the front door and looking out of the peephole, he confirms there are several full plastic bags waiting to be picked up on the mat. With the person who brought them not in sight, Corpse unlocks the door and steps out to bring in the groceries for the week. Taking them to the kitchen, he unpacks the goods in the three bags. At first glance he would’ve been fooled, seeing as how it seems that all he has ordered is there. But, each Monday, he receives exactly four bags of groceries. One is missing. He rolls his eyes thinking he didn’t see it outside and left it there while he was hurriedly collecting the rest so he gets up to go grab it real quick.

While in the meantime...

Y/N looks through the remainder of bags in her minivan, making a route in her head for what roads and shortcuts she can take to deliver the last of the groceries to the respective homes they need to be taken to. Upon looking through them, however, she sees a bag labeled ‘MM’ that she uses short for ‘Mystery Man’, aka the guy who never opens the door to greet her whenever she delivers him anything. She works for several delivery services such as takeout, groceries, clothes even and has delivered to that apartment hundreds of times but has never met the resident, giving her the right to call him Mystery Man, aka ‘MM’.

“Ah, shit.“ She mumbles under her breath, realizing she failed to grab the fourth bag when on her way up to MM’s apartment.

Coming to terms with the fact that she’ll have to lose another five minutes going back up to his floor, she grabs the bag and takes off running back inside the building and up the stairs, deciding it would be quicker than taking the elevator.

Just as she arrives to the floor, heading straight for the door, it opens, freezing her in her tracks as her eyebrows shoot up. At the doorstep stands a guy with an eye patch who looks more surprised and maybe even a little terrified than her. Taking in that Mystery Man is not such a mystery anymore, she returns to her professionalism, remaining at a distance and outstretching the hand holding the bag towards him.

“Sorry, forgot to drop this one off as well, I’m a bit all over the place today.“ She says in her most professional voice.

Corpse too regains his composure and takes the handed bag from Y/N gloved hand. Before he can think twice about it he says, “Thanks, uh...”

“Y/N.“ She says, “I’ve delivered to you countless times, it’s funny you don’t know my name but it’s to be expected since I’ve never seen you. This would be a good time to tell me your name so I don’t have to call you Mystery Man anymore.“ She laughs, cutting her own laughter off barely a second later when she realizes what she’s said, “Oh, fucking shit...”

Corpse chuckles, clear amusement in the sound, “Mystery Man? Interesting, interesting. If I ever become a superhero I’ll make sure to pick that name.” He fails to even pay mind to the fact that he’s spoken a lot more than he’d usually feel comfortable with.

Y/N laughs a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck, “Yeah, sorry about that. I promise to come up with a better one if you’re not willing to tell me your real one. Like....Pirate, for example?” she suggests, raising her shoulders.

He can’t help but let out a laugh, “You’d be surprised, but my name is not so far from your mark. It’s, um....” He’s not looking forward to the judgmental look or the questions he might receive in response to his statement but he succumbs to the expected disappointment, “My name’s Corpse.”

Surprisingly, she just smiles - a smile he cannot see due to the surgical mask she’s wearing but the crinkle at the corners of her eyes gives it away. “Cool! Well, I better get going then.”

Just as she turns to head for the elevator this time, seeing as she’s still out of breath from the run up the stairs, Corpse gets an idea he’d probably not be too fond of if he gave himself time to think it over. Which is exactly why he didn’t.

“Hey!“ He calls after her, gaining her attention immediately, causing her to turn around, “You got a minute? I need a little help with something...“

Y/N’s eyebrows raise a little, a moment before she shrugs her shoulders, “Meh, I’m already behind schedule, what’s an extra minute gonna do?” And just like that, they strut their way back towards his apartment.

He can’t help but chuckle, taking the opportunity to crack a joke, “This is how people often get killed. You don’t just walk into a stranger’s apartment like that.”

She scoffs as she passes the threshold, “Believe it or not, you can learn a lot about a person based on the groceries they buy. And trust me buddy, you’re not a murderer.” Earning herself a laugh and a nod with that remark, she continues, “You do appear to be an artist with all the cheap food you’re buying though.”

Corpse laughs yet again, a hint of nervousness is sensed in his laugh this time around though, “Yeah, well, I don’t know if you’re still gonna call me an artist when you hear this song I’ve been working on. Not even out of the box yet.”

Y/N stops in her tracks, “Well, well, well, aren’t I honored to be one of the lucky people hearing this before its release.”

“The first hearing it before its release.“ He corrects her with a pointed look, not missing the excitement that arose in her eyes.

“Let’s hear it then!“

Of all the friendship stories that exist, no one can say this ain’t a unique one.

@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse @sunnyrae-cessh @ladykxxx08 @meowiemari @renupf @booklover76 @sra-verissimo @beatrhizn @blueberrystigma @beatrhizn @chicken-taco-burrito @scorpios-echos

400 notes · View notes

mylordshesacactus · 3 years ago

Text

Goals Only Matter In Soccer

A recurring theme I hear from people struggling to “figure out” roleplaying is that they feel their characters are flat, uninteresting, or that they’re otherwise bad at character creation because their characters don’t have “goals.” Or, as the flip side of that coin, that they themselves are bad roleplayers because they either can’t remember their characters’ goals, or can’t/don’t enjoy actually roleplaying those goals.

(A short break for shameless self-promotion: If you want some one-on-one assistance with character creation or are struggling to roleplay, I do one-hour consult sessions to give you specific help in tapping into your RPG character. You get tailored guidance with no attempts to tell you what you “should” do, and I get to ethically keep my therapeutic interviewing skills from getting rusty while in grad school limbo. Everyone wins!)

This is getting a bit esoteric. Let’s use some concrete examples.

Some common “goals” might be: A wizard whose goal is to become more powerful or gain a certain form of knowledge, a noble-born character whose goal is to restore their family’s name or wealth, or the evergreen goal of avenging a great wrong like the death of a loved one.

These are all great character goals! There is nothing wrong with having a character with a clear goal they work toward over the course of the game, and making a character with a clear goal is a great way to get started with roleplaying!

But it is only one method. And it’s not always appropriate.

I’m about to blow your damn mind: Characters don’t need goals.

The idea that a well-rounded character should always have a “goal” is pervasive, and honestly harmful to good character creation and roleplaying! And it’s even more difficult to overcome because if you look for roleplaying or character-building advice, “give them a goal” is generally one of the first bullet points. This is well-meaning, and it’s not bad advice. But if it leaves you feeling like your character is incomplete because they don’t have A Goal—or worse, feeling obligated to tack on a “goal” and struggle to prioritize it in roleplay—then it’s not helpful.

Characters do not need “goals”.

But all characters need motivations.

As usual, I’m going to use my own characters as an example so you don’t feel like I’m lecturing you. I think I only have one major D&D character who could be stated to have a “goal”--my halfling druid/fighter, who wants to repay her debt to the Circle so that she can make a clean and respectful break and live her own life without guilt.

But the others? Benny (Benevolence, but only her mom calls her that), my tiefling bard, doesn’t have a “goal” she works toward; in all honesty, her goal was her pre-campaign life. She likes being a travelling musician, she wants to perform and meet people across the continent! Rinda, my dwarven paladin, has five kids at home--her nieces and nephews, who she adopted after her sister’s tragic death in a mine collapse. She’s got no career ambition because she feels that chasing rank or prestige is inappropriate in a paladin, whose priority should be ordinary people and who needs to be accessible and grounded in the reality of the common folk. Her “goal” is to just keep being an honorable, mid-rank paladin and providing for her family.

That’s not remotely helpful in a tabletop RPG! Those are terrible “goals” for a character in a team-based game! If I followed general beginner RP advice and leaned into those goals, I’d end up that dreaded monstrosity, the player who says things like “but why would my character get involved? She would just let the town guard handle it”.

However, these characters’ motivations are a different story.

Benny doesn’t set out with the goal of becoming a hero; it’s not something she consciously works toward or considers a major aspiration. But she is responsible for what she allows, and at her core, Benevolence was well-named. She was raised by loving parents who taught her how to raise working animals and livestock ethically and with compassion, and who taught her the regret that comes of making selfish decisions. Helping others and minimizing suffering isn’t her life goal. She didn’t set out from home with a dream of being better than her parents, of putting good into the world instead of just mitigating the bad...but sometimes people really do just help others because it’s the right thing to do.

Rinda? Her driving purpose will always be her family. Caring for them is her goal, the thing she intentionally prioritizes, the thing she actively works for. But her motivations are not the same thing. Yes, she wants to stay close to take care of her kids...but her responsibilities as a paladin are important to. She’s a protector who swore an oath, and her children are not more important than children in the next city over who will suffer without her intervention. Her motivation is to make people feel safe, but that’s not really a traditional “goal”. And she’s a stronger character for that!

So: Motivations > Goals.

Which does NOT mean that your character shouldn’t have a concrete goal! That’s not what I’m saying at all. Rather...if your character has a concrete goal, arising naturally from their backstory, and you struggle to roleplay that goal, it may be because you’re not tapping into why your character has that goal in the first place. Are they seeking power because they’re terrified of a specific enemy? To prove a detractor or an abuser wrong? In order to accomplish a specific task--and in that case, who or what made them believe that task was important? Why is your rogue trying to avenge the death of his sister--and you can’t say “love” or “grief”. Many people have lose loved ones; what made this specific person decide that the only way forward was murder, and that his target(s) were responsible, and that he personally had to dedicate his life to killing them?

(This course of questioning may lead you to realize that you don’t have an answer. If that happens, ask yourself--is this a realization that your CHARACTER might have? That they don’t know why they’re doing this? Follow that thread! If not, it’s possible that you’ve tacked on an artificial “goal” for the sake of having one, and your character would be stronger without that anchor weighing them down.)

Sedge, that druid/fighter from earlier--her goal is to repay a massive debt so that she can be free of the Circle’s influence and live her own life. But her motivation? A mixture of shame and honor. The Circle saved her from a lot of predatory loans from bad people, rescued her, saved her life. She’s embarrassed at ending up so deep in debt and too proud to not repay that kind of kindness, but also feels a genuine gratitude for their kindness toward a total stranger. She wants to do right by them--but hates being a druid--but has always wanted to be the kind of hero who helps others exactly as selflessly as they did.

It creates a lot of in-depth roleplay possibilities that wouldn’t exist if I’d just left that goal as simple as “acquire X amount of gold to pay off her student loans” and proceeded to play Sedge as simply money-obsessed.

Even if your character does have a clear goal, their motivations can change and come into conflict with it! A heroic character with debts to repay might easily refuse a huge payday if it requires them to do something shady...but they might not. How desperate are they? A wizard whose goal is to unlock the power to cast Wish might see a path to that goal...but pursuing it would mean abandoning a helpless village in the path of an orc army, and if she stays to defend that village, she loses her opportunity.

What wins out, in the end? And what effect will that choice have on her psyche?

Suddenly it really, really matters why she’s so dead-set on learning Wish. Whether it’s out of pride or fear (which might be easier for her to set aside in the face of innocent lives) or out of a deep-rooted belief that something absolutely essential rests on her learning this spell—something a lot harder to turn her back on.

These conflicts can occur with or without a “goal”. But, whether a character has a “goal” or not, these conflicts and intimate, pivotal character moments absolutely cannot exist in a character without motivations.

#d&d #character creation #rp development

230 notes · View notes

masterthespianduchovny · 3 years ago

Text

I’m going to be honest: I dislike Nate right now.

And that’s perfectly fine.

I understand that this show loves to redeem people, however, as I said in another post, you can only redeem someone if there are negative feelings and/or you believe that person wronged someone or whatever. If you have positive feelings and excuse what they did, what exactly are they being redeemed for?

Despite loving Rebecca’s character, when I rewatch season one, I don’t like her at times. I dislike a lot of what she did back then. It doesn’t matter that I know she tells the truth eventually, the stuff she did was still fucked up. I’m not going to preemptively excuse her actions because I know the end goal.

Take Jamie for instance, his behavior was not okay. We know why he behaves that way, but it still wasn’t justified. We are still allowed to dislike him and what he did then. We talk about the negative effects of the bullying Nate received from the players, yet some try to excuse Nate’s bullying and his actions?

Wrong is wrong. Jamie being verbally abused by his dad didn’t justify how he treated others just like how Nate’s father (and bullying by others) is emotionally abusive doesn’t justify Nate’s behavior.

Although we understand the context, Nate IS being a fucking backstabbing asshole right now. Some may hate to hear that, but this isn’t an unfair opinion or unflattering light of him. This is exactly how he’s behaving.

There are some who has a ton of sympathy for Nate, but I’m not one of them. Please believe, I do hold some sympathy for him, but I have a limit.

So here’s reasons why Nate is on my shitlist and I’ll wait until he’s actually redeemed to forgive him.

1. Calling Rebecca a shrew. It’s not the fact that he literally called Rebecca this, but that he immediately verbally attacked the woman. We can say, “oh no, she’s the owner so he had reasons to think…”

No, Nate literally attacked Rebecca for no reason at all. She had little to no interaction with him and has never disrespected or harmed him in anyway, yet he has these intense feelings of dislike in the moment based off what exactly?

Nate attacked Rebecca because she is a woman. If you disagree, what other reason it might be? The reason I believe it was due to her gender is because she’s been defanged so to speak. So he doesn’t fear her like he used to. But Nate also practices in casual misogyny ie his shoe remark to Rebecca and Keeley. That may not seem like a big thing, but how is that an involuntary response??? With him believing he got fired, he doesn’t wait for answers, he immediately attacks her. And I had to ask myself, would he have done this with a man? With someone like Rupert? No fucking way. Nate can’t even directly challenge Ted who is a ray of sunshine, but attacks someone who he literally ran away from in fear in the pilot. Although Nate respects power, he respects male power the most. He skipped over Ted and Beard and went straight towards Rebecca. The fact that this even happened has always been disturbing to me. And Nate is fucking lucky that he hasn’t said any of his comments to old Rebecca (not age, but personality. 🥺) because she would have fired him. Only due to her relationship with Ted and him getting to let her guard down and find her old self that she frowned and shrugged Nate’s comments off. Most bosses at the very least would’ve talked to Nate and he didn’t get even that.

2. Projecting his daddy issues onto Ted. I understand that nate is going through some tough shit and has been for literally decades, however, that doesn’t mean make someone your stand in dad because they were nice and kind. Ted treats Nate like he does the other coaches, but Nate wants a special and unique relationship that will never exist. Ted is not his father and he didn’t ask for the job or the responsibilities.

I understand that people go through shit and latch onto those who made the rough times easier. I get that. However, all this animosity, scheming, and resentment because Ted isn’t giving the attention he wants. That fucking unfair to Ted. He didn’t ask or sign up to be Nate’s father figure. Yet he’s being punished for not being something he never wanted to be. Never even thought about it.

And because I’ve seen/partially experienced this shit, people getting mad at you for not being who they projected onto, it makes me upset at Nate. Because people like this really do become resentful and manipulative and that is not okay despite their own hurt that they’re dealing with. Why does the person you projected on have to suffer for something they’re unaware of and have no obligation to fulfill?

Nate isn’t just trying to blow up Ted’s professional career, he’s doing it via one of the cruelest ways: using his mental health against him. Thereby exploiting Ted’s trust in him.

Ted has literally changed Nate’s life for the better and rather than have a man to man talk with him, he cowardly tries to sabotage Ted in one of the worst ways imaginable.

3. His cognitive dissonance about how coaching works!!!

This seriously irritates me because, on some level, Nate knows that the very system he’s criticizing is how it works across ALL team sports and with reason.

He wants to be a damn head coach soooo bad—does he think ideas, plans, plays, etc only comes from head coaches???

What does he think assistants are there for?

For those who aren’t familiar with sports and coaching, literally every team sport has a head coach and then assistants under them. These assistant typically specialize in a given thing.

In American football, I believe there are like defensive coaches, strength and conditioning coaches, etc. there are coaches who watch a lot of tapes to learn the opposition and how to make plays to hold them exploit their weakness and tailor plays around that.

Like on the professional level there are so many types of coaches and, hell, not all of them want to be head coaches. Some of the greatest coaching minds aren’t head coaches.

For example, the American basketball team the Chicago bulls fired their coach Doug Collins in like 1989, I think. He was a good coach, but one of his assistant coaches had a basketball IQ out of this world. Doug refused to listen to him, but management fully supported this assistant coach. Now the other assistant coach they were grooming to take over, Phil Jackson, if you’ve heard of him, DID listen to this basketball genius. So much so that when he became head coach after Doug was fired, he continued to implement The Triangle offense that came from this basketball genius, which Phil was known for until he retired.

Nate’s upset that Ted gets all the credit for if they win, he does realize that Ted also gets all the blame for if they lose. Ted has always highlighted his coaching staff and everyone who helped him. He has always stressed that he wouldn’t be where he is without them. And when he loses, he takes full ownership. He doesn’t pass the blame at all.

Does Nate seem like someone who’d take ownership for losing?

Does Nate seem like someone, at this moment, who’d appropriately give credit to assistant or anyone else who helped him?

Would he even listen?

What makes Ted a great coach is that he gives others opportunities to step up to the plate and if/when they succeed, he allows them to shine.

Ted sees the fuller picture, for the most part, and knows how to address his weaknesses and who’s stronger than him in what area. He realized that the team needed a presence like Roy on the team. He knew he needed someone like beard who could absorb insane amounts of knowledge. He saw that Nate had potential coaching ability.

But Nate doesn’t understand the importance or value of this. He also doesn’t understand how instrumental Ted’s philosophy has been in transforming the culture of the team. That this is also a reason why the team is playing better.

So like, yeah, I’ll forgive Nate when he’s redeemed. But these three things are what really irks me about him. Just because I understand why he is acting this way doesn’t mean I have to excuse it when he’s being a dick to others, complaining about shit only due to his ego, and doing fucked up shit like leaking someone’s mental health struggles so he can gain an advantage over them.

Does he think that if Ted leaves/gets fired that he’s getting the job??? I mean hopefully whatever he has going on with Rupert works out (before it inevitably goes wrong) because this isn’t going to turn out how he thinks it will.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #Nate Shelley #I wonder if Rupert is trying to get Richmond back and has some big master plan #I do not want that to happen of course #but what is he planning #probably trying to steal Nate away #and if that’s the case #good riddance #lol #Nate can come back once he calms down and gets himself together

80 notes · View notes

renegadewangs · 3 years ago

Text

Enigmatic Gnomance

Last night was movie night in my Discord server and we watched Sherlock Gnomes. Needless to say, things escalated very fast and I wrote a 2000+ words one-shot regarding the ending. Everyone liked it for some reason??? So here it is! (I’m not an expert on the gnome cinematic universe, please forgive me if I got a little detail wrong.)

Characters: Sherlock Gnomes, Watson Fandom: Sherlock Gnomes Pairings: (Lord help me,) Gnomes/Watson Warnings/rating: None. Summary: With the movie’s events behind them, Sherlock Gnomes ruminates on difficult matters.

Enigmatic Gnomance

The sun had set on the backyard when at last, Gnomes and Watson returned to their little home. Mrs. Udderson was nowhere to be seen, for which Watson found himself quite grateful. After all that'd occurred tonight, he wasn't in the mood for her invasive mooing. Gnomes hobbled over to the nearby armchair and settled himself down there. The deep crack in his leg instantly caught Watson's eye. He wasn't really a doctor- such a title was no more than an accessory in the world of gnomes. Even so, he found himself yearning to fix the injury somehow. He was responsible in a way, he felt. He'd been weak and he'd gotten cocky, which had made him a blind and unwilling pawn in Moriarty's little scheme.

But there was nothing to be done about it now; porcelain would never heal. Even with glue, Gnomes ran the risk of losing his leg forever if he were ever reckless.

Watson hesitated for a moment, then approached the armchair. His gaze wasn't being met. Gnomes had folded his hands together and was now peering towards his own feet. "Gnomes, ah... Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" he asked awkwardly.

Even with their reunion atop the bridge and their agreement to continue being partners, Gnomes still hadn't quite acknowledged the betrayal. It was maddening. Why wasn't he scolded? For Gnomes to come to terms with his rude dismissal of others had been the entire point, that much was true. However, to not see the gargoyles' true nature and be used by their master... That had been worthy of a good scoff, surely. Or at the very least an indignant sniff. Gnomes could have died, all due to Watson's own naivety. Sure enough, Gnomes didn't reply. The silence was worse than anything else he could have said.

"Gnomes..." Watson trailed off for a moment. Then he decided there was nothing to be gained by keeping his feelings bottled up. That was what'd caused this whole mess in the first place. "It's only us, now. Please, just talk to me."

"... I was ruminating, Watson," said Gnomes, still staring at his feet.

"Oh?"

"Yes, indeed. Ruminating. Quite deeply, I might say. My mind palace lost an entire dimension, attempting to process these hectic thoughts of mine. However, I'm afraid I'm drawing a blank. Perhaps, if you would be so kind, you might refresh my memory?"

The sober, forward nature of Gnomes's words caught Watson off guard. He hadn't known his friend to be so earnest, nor so willing to ask for help, for a very long time. Perhaps the day's events had made a difference after all. But then... Had it been Watson to make Gnomes see sense, or had it been Moriarty's doing? It was best not to think too hard on that, so he attempted to force the notion out of his mind.

"Of course, old friend." Watson placed a hand on the back of the armchair, smiling meekly. "If you need my help, you need only ask for it. Though perhaps... A bit more politely than you used to."

Gnomes uttered a chuckle, bitter as lime(stone). "Hah, quite right," he admitted. "I was wondering... Whether I actually took the time to say how sorry I am."

Watson felt his eyes widen and his body stiffen. Had he heard that correctly? Surely not. "Sorry" was a word not uttered aloud by Gnomes in a long time, short of demanding it from others.

"... What?"

"Quite a bit happened tonight. Moriarty is nothing if not a distraction. I'm certain I said quite a few things- to him and to you. However, it's all a bit of a blur, you see. Did I? Apologize?"

Watson shook his head fiercely. This was all wrong. This was what he'd wanted, and yet... No, he didn't deserve it, did he? "Gnomes- You aren't the one who needs to apologize. I put innocent gnomes in danger- I put you in danger. Moriarty could've won, all because I-I... I thought you'd..."

A hand on Watson's wrist caused any other words to vanish. He looked down to meet Gnomes's eyes. Even more out of place than the gnome's apology was the expression on his face, which Watson couldn't recall ever having seen once in all their years of partnership. What was it? Some sort of turmoil, certainly.

"My dear man, you were right to confront me with my attitude. To treat others in such dreadful a manner is already mortifying to me, in hindsight, but you... You deserved so much more and I fear I took your companionship for granted for the longest time. I'd forgotten just how brilliant you are, and so, you played the game quite well."

"Gnomes... Truly, you don't need to-"

"I am sorry, Watson. More sorry than even my own brilliant mind could ever begin to formulate."

Watson sighed and placed his own hand atop Gnomes's own. "I know. And I'm sorry as well."

For a long moment, nothing was said. Gnomes's eyes merely flitted towards Watson's hand and lingered there. Then, at last, he found his voice again. It had cracked almost as badly as his leg. "... I don't deserve a partner like you. Should you follow Irene's example and find your luck elsewhere, I would not blame you."

"Don't be a fool," Watson replied straight off the bat. "I did not go through so much trouble to teach you a lesson, only to toss away the benefits before I could reap them."

"You were perfectly content to abandon our partnership earlier."

"Well... It wasn't quite a partnership earlier, now was it?"

Gnomes appeared dumbstruck, though only for a moment. Then his lips carved themselves into a grin. "... Fair enough."

Watson took another shuffling step closer to the armchair, leaning forward and eyes narrowing into a bit of a squint. "Are you alright? Your leg... It looks quite damaged."

"It's only a few surface cracks," Gnomes replied, sticking his nose up in the air. "Nothing to worry about. The great Sherlock Gnomes is nothing if not resilient. It is a shame, though. That was my favorite leg."

Watson chuckled dryly. "I don't believe there's anything in this world you love more than yourself."

But Gnomes didn't reply. He merely stared ahead blankly at the wall. Had he gotten lost in his own thoughts again? Watson hadn't thought he'd said anything worth contemplating, nor blocking out.

"... Are you certain you're alright, Gnomes?" he asked.

"I... Yes." Gnomes blinked fiercely and rapped the fingers of his other hand against the armrest of the chair. "It's curious. You are quite clever, Watson, but then... Perhaps, unable to decipher the very same enigma which plagues me."

"An enigma, Gnomes?" Watson repeated. What was there still left to solve, at this point? It must've been significant, if Gnomes himself still struggled to put a finger on it. How tragic, then, that he would assume Watson would be unable to decipher it also. Were the learned lessons being foregone already? He hoped not.

"The time I spent with Irene... Well, surely you recall. It was a jolly good romp for a while, but I always knew she would come second place to the mysteries and the chases. And she came to know this as well. So in the end, a jolly good romp was all it was. I did not think I could ever love someone the way she expected me to."

Indeed, Watson did recall those 'jolly good romps'. He remembered the pain on Irene's face, which grew more severe with every instance where she'd been snubbed. He also remembered her resolution on the day she decided she would get over him. It was so very easy to rope her into his plans because the two of them related to one another. They both knew just how painful it was to be dismissed by Gnomes. They both agreed that the lesson had needed to come sooner and there was nothing left to salvage, but then... Watson hadn't given up quite as much hope as Irene, it turned out. It was a good thing that he hadn't.

"Indeed. But what's that got to do with another puzzle?" he asked.

"When I saw you fall and I heard that dreadful smashing sound... Well, I didn't want to think about it, really. I pushed it from my mind before it could ever take root there, because if I'd allowed that... Well, I'm sure I would've been quite useless for the remainder of the investigation."

"Oh, Gnomes, I didn't mean for you to-"

"It was a clever ploy, of course. I fell for it. Didn't even stop to consider you might catch yourself. That warrants another apology, I believe."

"No, really, it's fine. Perhaps I'd gone too far with that."

Gnomes's hand curled around Watson's wrist more fiercely. He turned his head upwards once again, brow furrowed, features pleading. "Watson," he began softly. "If I'd lost you... If you were truly gone, what would I do with myself? That's what I was ruminating on, you see. It pains me simply to envision the hypothetical, which is to say nothing of what would happen if it were a reality. I've never felt anything of the sort for Irene. So will you tell me, please?"

The situation was surreal. To hear words like that coming from his old friend... Well, the plan truly had been far more effective than Watson had expected it to be, though the result was overwhelming. Perhaps even unnerving. To earn Gnomes's respect and partnership was one thing, but to hear that his presence would've been missed so very dearly... That was more than he'd ever bargained for, or even dared to wish for. He didn't know how to feel now. He didn't understand what was being asked of him.

"... Tell you what, Gnomes?"

"Isn't there someone I love more than myself, or the thrill of the hunt?"

Watson's mind went blank. He felt quite cold, all of a sudden. But then... Also hot at the same time, as if he were standing out in the blazing sun of a warm summer's day. Gnomes's eyes were still on his own, waiting, perhaps deducing. Watson didn't dare look away. He was cornered now- trapped in Gnomes's intense stare.

Before tonight, his response would have been clear. He would have laughed bitterly at the question, then turned away from it. But then... Before tonight, it never would have been asked. Gnomes had never taken such things into consideration until he'd been forced to. To have Gnomes reflect on how much he'd always relied on Watson, that had been the goal. An unexpected side-effect, then, was that Watson now had to reflect on how much he'd relied on Gnomes. He'd wanted be looked at, to be acknowledged, to be praised- to be close to Gnomes, the way he used to when they first began to solve cases.

"I think that... The only one who could ever answer that question is you, Gnomes," he ultimately said.

"I... I need a hint, I believe," Gnomes replied in a bit of a stammer. "Just a clue, a morsel. The tiniest bit of guidance when it comes to deciphering these feelings."

"I'm not much help there, I'm afraid. I may be just as lost as you are."

"Oh... Are you really?" Gnomes paused for a moment, lips pursing and nose crinkling as he mulled it over. "If we're both lost in the same manner, does that not imply we both experience these same feelings?"

"Ah..."

And still, Watson had no true answer to give. Just as Gnomes's brilliant mind failed to form an apology strong enough to do the sentiment justice, so too did Watson's own fail to translate his feelings into words.

-Feelings? Were there feelings after all?

After about ten seconds, Gnomes tore his attention away from Watson's eyes and returned to gazing at his own feet. "Perhaps... It would be presumptuous to expect an answer to this riddle this very night. We are both taken by exhaustion, I'm sure. Delirious with it, perhaps. So..."

Still, no cohesive sentences came to Watson. Even so, he did have a reply, he thought. It wasn't a very clever one, but it was a reply all the same. He leaned forward to press a kiss against Gnomes's cheek. The gesture clearly shocked his friend, for he made a rather funny noise and attempted to jump up out of the chair. His bad leg, however, had other plans. Gnomes slumped backwards before he could ever fully stand upright and Watson caught him by the shoulders with both hands on instinct, cushioning the fall.

"Whaa- Whaaaat... son....!" Gnomes tilted his head backwards to peer up at him. "What...?"

"That was the small clue you were searching for, which ought to help you decipher these feelings of yours," Watson explained with another wry smile.

Gnomes appeared stunned. However, he soon relaxed in Watson's hold and eased himself back into the chair properly. "Indeed, that was quite helpful," he said. "Whatever would I do without your assistance, dear fellow? You truly are indispensable."

"It's good of you to say such things out loud, Gnomes. I expect to hear much more praise in the future."

"Of course!"

Indeed, they were both exhausted and had more than enough time to continue 'ruminating' on their feelings. For now, Watson was quite content to leave it that. Immense progress had already been made, and aside from that... Mrs. Udderson was still lurking high above them.

#sherlock gnomes #this started as a shitpost #but then I just kept GOING #people were howling in chat #what is my life

52 notes · View notes

mindmeltonabun-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Doom At Your Service: Analysis & Theories for EPs 7-8

Welcome back to another edition of analyses and theories time with me! I’m going to try and keep this post as short and as simple as possible. In case I don’t, I apologize in advance! Also, sorry if this post is filled with grammar mistakes and confusing syntax...I'm writing/editing this late at night and my ADHD meds have lost their effectiveness.

Anyways Eps 7-8 was pretty awesome and I’m glad that a bunch of my previous theories had come true! For those who wonder how I come up with some of these theories, I just look at everything whether it be big or small. I also try to look for connections and patterns. At the same time, I try to understand the motivations of characters and what is the big picture the writer is trying to paint. Once you're able to do all of that then you can predict where the story is going. This is how for the most part I was able to predict the events and endings of shows like TOTNT and TKEM. Anyhow, let’s get down to analyzing and theorizing! Turn on those thinking caps!

What the Rock Balancing Structure Represents

Rock balancing is a form of art that involves a person placing a combination of rocks in an arrangement. To achieve balance of the rocks, one must be very patient and compassionate. In its completion, the structure represents that while things may appear impossible, they are actually possible. So what seems impossible, but can actually be possible? Hmmm probably Myul Mang learning what it means to be human and ending up becoming human. Notice that both the rock art is next to the plant and the story of Pinocchio? It's saying saying that the impossible can be possible. It's possible for Myul Mang to be able to learn what it means to be a human so that the impossible can happen...he can "grow" up to becoming a real human.

The whole rock balancing structure could also signify that in order to grow, one must overcome one's deepest fears. I don't know about you all, but stacking rocks is a scary thing especially since at any moment the whole thing could fall over. Anyways, if you remembered, Myul Mang had been searching everywhere for Dong Kyung and feeling like one of his worst fears (Dong Kyung not existing) had came true. It's only when he goes to Dora's hospital room and sees both the Pinocchio book and rock structure that he got Dora's lesson. And that's why afterwards you didn't see Myul Mang going on another search for Dong Kyung somewhere else.

A brief digression. I’ve seen multiple people theorizing that the plant and the butterfly represent Dong Kyung and Myul Mang respectively. To them I say, did you just completely miss the part where Dora says the plant is Myul Mang? Myul Mang is both the butterfly and the plant. For those who still don’t see that, let me break it down.

First, what do butterflies symbolize? They symbolize metamorphosis, death, and rebirth. Myul Mang is not a literal butterfly, but he will eventually be one in a metaphorical sense. If anything, Myul Mang right now is like a caterpillar on the verge of entering the cocoon stage that is followed by a reemergence as a butterfly aka human. You can also look at it this way, Pinocchio is a butterfly too. Why? Well, look at what happens to Pinocchio. He is reborn as a real boy after having gone through metamorphosis (puppet -> real boy).

Now let’s examine the plant symbolism. What do plants represent in DAYS? They represent humans. What is Dora growing? A human Myul Mang..DUH!! Sorry, but I didn’t think it was that hard of a concept to grasp especially since Dora has already explicitly said what she is growing in that one scene. For Myul Mang to grow up to become a "good" human, he needs to learn to think about others, forgive himself, be compassionate (not only towards himself, but others as well), love others, etc. Other things Myul Mang would probably need to learn is how to love his fate or amor fati (loving your fate means loving it all, not just the good parts, but the bad parts too; loving it so much so that you would never want to change anything about it and would gladly relive your life the way it was over and over again for all of eternity).

I don’t think the "plant" will fully "blossom" until Myul Mang sacrifices himself to save Dong Kyung for the sole reason that he loves her (in contrast to sacrificing himself for his own personal gain). Therefore, that's probably the final lesson -- how to be completely selfless.

Dora just wants her son to grow up to be a "good" plant (human) so she doesn't have to end up pulling him out aka end him before he even becomes human! Okay???

Sorry if what I've just said was confusing. What I meant to say is that Myul Mang's personal growth is reflective in the plant's growth. The more he learns of what it means to be a "good" human, the more the plant will grow until it blossoms into a beautiful flower (a real human).

If we want to connect the idea of personal growth to the story of Pinocchio, we see that Pinocchio's growth occurs only after he experiences pain (physical and emotional) and love. From these experiences, he learns what it means to be a "good" boy and is rewarded by the Fairy transforming him into a real boy.

One Wish or Wishes?

In my previous post, I had briefly touched upon how I think Dong Kyung is going to wish for brain cancer to be cured. Though I still think this, I nevertheless want to explore some of the other possibilities of what her wish could be.

Potential Wishes:

1) Myul Mang to Become Human

2) More Wishes

3) Contract to be Voided

4) No One Remembering Her After She Dies

For #1, Dong Kyung wishes Myul Mang to become human, but then she still dies from her untreated brain cancer…so nope. For #2 and #3, are these wishes even allowed? I would like to point out some flaws of the writer. Maybe it’s not so much a flaw, but an annoyance I have with the writer of DAYS. What one can or cannot wish for is not explicitly stated. Due to this, it is somewhat difficult for me to accurately predict what Dong Kyung will wish for. It’s like trying to detect a substance without being given its upper and lower limits or range of detection (sorry for the science related analogy) ! For #4, I guess this one could be probable, but there is just too much evidence pointing to Myul Mang's death. After exploring each of the possibilities, I'm still left thinking that Dong Kyung's one wish will be to cure her cancer.

Anyways, even if Dong Kyung wishes for her brain cancer to be cured, it’s not really a happy ending since Myul Mang still dies. Is there any other way for Dong Kyung to make another wish so that she can save Myul Mang? I think there is and it comes in the form of the “gift” that Dora gave Dong Kyung. In my previous post, I had theorized that the marble may have a larger purpose than just being a symbol of how the fate of the world is Dong Kyung hands. I believe now that the marble’s larger purpose is that it is a type of wish fulfilling stone. Why? Because we know fantasy dramas typically make references to mythology. In this case, the writer of DAYS is probably referencing Hindu mythology.

In Hindu mythology there are 3 main gods:

1) Brahma: The Creator

2) Vishnu: The Preserver

3) Shiva: The Destroyer (Sounds like Myul Mang right? Also, the love story between Shiva and Parvati is somewhat similar to that of Myul Mang and Dong Kyung’s love story.)

Dora is the equivalent to the god Vishnu in Hindu mythology. Vishnu is often depicted wearing a “Cintamani”, a type of wish fulling stone analogous to the Philosopher’s Stone (hint hint…transforms something from one form into another…immortal -> human) in Western mythology. Given this, the marble/Cintamani in Dong Kyung's possession could be the key to Myul Mang’s rebirth.

Some might ask, “Well why can’t Dora just use it to wish for her son to be reborn as a human?”. Well, remember that both Dora and Myul Mang are slaves to the wishes of humans. They themselves cannot fulfil their own wishes or desires. Meaning, even though Dora and Myul Mang can wish for something to happen, they cannot carry it out unless humans wish it too. Also, as I mentioned previously, deities in kdramas never just give humans gift because they’re being nice. Rather, they give gifts to humans so that humans can help them accomplish their overall goals/wishes.

So putting it all together, do you see where I’m going with this? Dora has the same wish as Dong Kyung which is for Myul Mang to live, but Dora is unable to execute her goals/wishes unless Dong Kyung wishes it too. Dora knows that Dong Kyung will probably use her one wish to cure her brain cancer. At the same time, this leaves her son, Myul Mang, to die. Therefore, Dora gives Dong Kyung the wish fulfilling marble with the intention that Dong Kyung will use it to wish for her son, Myul Mang, to be reborn as a human. With Dora/Dong Kyung’s wish, Myul Mang will be free from his cursed life as an immortal and be reborn to be able to live happily with Dong Kyung.

Side note, the rebirth of Myul Mang into a human can either be dependent on Myul Mang's personal growth or it can be dependent on this wish fulfilling stone or both! I'm leaning more towards his personal growth as being the catalyst for his rebirth, but who knows! It very well could be that the marble has a role to play in his rebirth.

Is Dong Kyung Going To Be An Immortal?

No…no…and NO!!

Some might ask why don’t I think this? Well, for a bunch of reasons. I’ll admit I used to think that it would be very romantic for a human to become immortal so that they can be with their immortal lover forever. However, the more I thought about it, I came to the realization the notion of forever is not romantic nor beautiful. At its core, the concept of eternity is quite terrifying and ugly. And if you haven’t realized already, the writer of DAYS has been making multiple arguments against immortality. For anything to have meaning, it must have an end. In this sense, the end is beautiful.

To get my point across, I want you to try and think about some things. What keeps life meaningful? Experiences? People? Well, imagine doing something you love for a year. Now imagine doing it for trillions or zillions of years. Experiences no matter how good they are at first will eventually become tedious if you do it for long enough. For example, eating your favorite dish may be good for a while, but not for zillions of years. At one point or another, you ultimately lose your desire to want to eat it or eat entirely for that matter.

Now surely getting to know people and loving them can keep your life meaningful right? Well, how many times do you think you could handle knowing and loving people who eventually disappear? Eventually, you grow tired of crying and mourning over dead loved ones that you become numb. Now imagine being Dong Kyung. She would have to witness her family, their family, and so forth dying over and over again for all of eternity. Doesn’t that seem tortuous? Sure, one could argue that at least she has Myul Mang with her, but do you really think her love for him could sustain her forever? The relationship between Myul Mang and his mother, Dora, is a prime example of how a loving relationship could turn sour over a great deal of time. The gift of immorality Dora bestowed on Myul Mang became a curse instead of a blessing. So why would Myul Mang want to give Dong Kyung something that was basically a curse for him? As for Dora, she probably wouldn’t want to give Dong Kyung the same gift after seeing what it did to her son.

If you continue to think that Dong Kyung will become an immortal being, did you really smell what the writer of DAYS was cooking or did you just smell what you were cooking?

The Bad Case of the Riddles

From what I have been reading on multiple platforms now, it would seem that a lot of people are rather confused about a lot of things. It’s understandable! Throughout the show, the writer has presented some complex philosophical concepts that may be difficult for some viewers to grasp. To further add to the confusion, the characters at times do speak in what appears to be riddles. This I believe may be one of the major flaws of the writer. She has to consider that her audience are probably people who have never read any philosophical works before. Most viewers aren’t here to decipher cryptic messages or see how they’re connected to some major philosophical concepts such as eternal recurrence, existentialism, nihilism, amor fati, etc. Most are here to shut off their tired brain and enjoy some good fantasy romance! I know I’m totally one of those people!

Needless to say, I did find myself in a debate of whether I should discuss some philosophical concepts referenced in the show as to help you all gain a better sense of understanding. However, I concluded that it would take too much of my time to do so. Additionally, despite my best efforts to use the simplest of words, I found that whatever I had already written may have still been confusing to the everyday reader. Anyways, if there are any particular scenes or dialogue you all want to me go over, please feel free to use the ask button and I’ll do my best to try and answer them!

Whats Going to Happen Next?

Probably more filler type stuff aka more bs. It's common in kdramas for characters to go back and forth on their initial decision of whatever. Dong Kyung is going to break up with Myul Mang because she loves him and doesn't want him to die. And before the breakup, she's going to give him some good memories to remember her by. Following this, she's going to try and love herself so that she's the one that ends up dying and her wish is going to be for everyone to forget her? Okay......Zzzzzzz!! Idk... Dora is probably going to intervene somehow to get Dong Kyung and Myul Mang back together again.

Other Random Thoughts

What I think would be interesting to learn about is the connection between Dong Kyung's parents death and Dora past self's death. It wasn't just all a coincidence that they both died on the same day. Who knows... maybe Dong Kyung was meant to be in the car that day with her parents, but Dora's past self sacrificed herself to change Dong Kyung's fate.

Also, I still don't think Dong Kyung is going to die, I mean you got her brother praying to the deities that she lives!

Okay, I'm done. I wrote this in Microsoft Word and it was 5 pages long. My brain is dead. There's probably something I should've gone over or elaborated more about, but oh well. Thanks for reading this disjointed post!

#doom at your service #doomatyourservice #myulmang #myul mang #tak dong kyung #takdongkyung #park bo young #parkboyoung #seo in guk #seoinguk #pinocchio #DAYS #theories #my brain is melting

89 notes · View notes

westwingwolf · 4 years ago

Text

In this post, I go into a long, defensive character/ship study for reflection after New Blood so for the sake of not clogging the tag and anyone who doesn’t want to see it or doesn’t want to be spoiled, it’s under the cut.

I think if you are looking for Tim to apologize for some of those early days, you are going to be disappointed. At least for a while. Because Tim sees a lot of what he did as practical training methods he’d use on any other rookie. Whether that’s right or wrong in your opinion, doesn’t matter. It’s how Tim sees it and therefore how the writers intend for him to see it. For all else, any time Tim crossed a line: he was called out, acknowledged it himself, apologized and/or thanked Lucy for her help.

A lot of those things were what Tim was going to do to any rookie if he thought that was the type of training the rookie needed. Tim says he is a show type of guy. He isn’t just going to tell a rookie the wrong or right method. He is going to create a scenario in which they learn it the hard way but in a safe, controlled environment. He was going to kick Jackson out of the car if he got the answer wrong, but Jackson got it right. And when he realized Jackson needed a different type of training to help him get over his fear of gunfire or quit or else Angela would get fired, he changed his tactics. And both times literally end up saving his own life. Lucy knew exactly where she was when she radioed that Tim had been shot. Jackson ran down the armed guy shooting at Tim because Tim said if he couldn’t get into the fight to stay in the car, so Jackson found a way around that.

The way Lucy words it, it doesn’t sound like she believes that Tim tormented her all through the job. Just that first day (well, and the second but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that those first 2 shifts can be treated like a first day) and some time after. Because the next thing she mentioned as a month later is the bathroom incident. That happened the day Tim came back to work after being shot. In between time which she spent an entire shift with Officer Wrigley(?) who was nice and treated her like a rockstar, and was boring because he wouldn’t take interesting calls. She is stuck with that until Tim questions if she is just going to let a criminal get away when she can do something about it. She called him a pain in her ass which he responded was the job. In that moment you can see that Lucy is not going to back down, and that Tim sees this as how to best train her. Their reactions of each other shows a mutual understanding of the other and the start of an acceptance. And maybe Tim does torment Lucy a little all through the job just to keep her on her toes.

As to the bathroom incident: in Amber, Harper made a point of saying how important it is to find a proper bathroom so that’s obviously something they teach at the academy or veterans learn through experience. And Lucy knew to secure the bathroom which she did. Just not enough. And Tim knew that would probably happen so he took advantage of that. Just as he would if any other rookie who needed that type of training had done that. This happened before he got the call about Isabel. The things he did after, intentionally starting a fight with the biker gang, that was out of line because he was upset about Isabel. And Lucy called him out on that. Just as she has done every time since Tim has stepped over the line.

I don’t believe Lucy actually gets triggered when she walks into a shoe store. Exaggeration to prove a point through humor. I laughed anyways. Especially since I’m sure the things that actually trigger Lucy are more like complete darkness and locked in confined, tight places. Does he say boot more than anyone else? Yes. Does that change depending on the outward image Tim is trying to convey? Also yes. The hardass Tim was those first few days/weeks/months (depending on which timeline we are going with) is not who he truly is. And Lucy knows that. She sticks up for him more than anyone. She calls him out on his shit, but also reminds him he is a good person. That side of him only comes back out when he truly fears not being tough will cause a setback. Such as when he yelled at her for having something in her gun hand other than her gun after Chris was shot and his TO pointed out that he told him how to proceed and his rookie didn’t listen. And Lucy wasn’t even mad at Tim about that because by then she knows him and what he is like. All her anger was at Emmett for stepping in where he shouldn’t. Because Lucy can handle herself, and she can handle Tim. Which Tim knows perfectly well and has said so. If Lucy was truly so upset by all that Tim has done, she wouldn’t insist that they are friends. Yes, she was eager to get out of training, but she also took the time to ensure that they had proper acknowledgment as to the closure of her training. And an acceptance that they would be friends from this point on was admitted by both of them in that “see you tomorrow.”

I’ll grant you the lessons can go overboard, but they actually work. When Lucy was in that bomber’s house after he set a bomb, she told Harper to get clear of the house and radio for help. Why? Because she learned that radio frequencies can sometimes set off bombs. She never forgot that lesson. And used it as payback for Tim later so double bonus.

So here is where Lucy can differ from any other rookie trained the same way by Tim. She learned those lessons and remembers them later when she is more or less by herself. It’s not just something that can be told and hope you remember when the necessary time comes. It is something lived through experience, again in a safer and more controlled environment, that she remembers. Maybe not all rookies would, but she did. And where she differs is how she gets Tim back anytime she feels he needs payback: stealing his money clip, giving him her bar tab as an evaluation, giving him his own powder bomb, etc. Things no other rookie would dare try, and he lets her get away with it. Because I think he actually likes that he found someone who can match his diabolical ways. Honestly, if these two weren’t such good people at heart, they’d pair up to be the world’s greatest supervillains.

Jackson called Lucy out on why would she want Tim to torment someone else if she hated how he treated her. So either she didn’t have that big of a problem with it or she doesn’t like the implication that it was something wrong about her that Tim felt warranted that kind of treatment. Yes, Lucy needs praise. She has always needed praise. Especially from authority figures. (Yes, I know the implications of that from a shipping POV, but if you are already shipping Chenford, you’re either ignoring it or waiting until it’s no longer an issue or both.) It’s clear from her relationship with her parents that she at first tried to get it from them. That’s why she studied psychology. To please them. And once she found what she wanted and stuck with it, she thought they’d be happy for her and she’d get that praise but she didn’t. She is still looking for it in her life. So she looks at this situation as there must have been something wrong with her and somehow the new rookie is better. Which Tim disproves. It wasn’t about her being less than; it’s about her being different and needing different training tactics. And her differences are actually things Lucy values, and Tim values too (clearly as he is tried to get Barnes to see policing as helping people and not as engaging enemy combatants. Plus take a look at how Tim treats people in the community even ones he previously arrested. He still tries to help them.) But Tim recognizes Lucy also needed a different perspective even if her perspective still ultimately wins out. Which Lucy acknowledges in Resolutions. She still chooses to be a cop in her own way. She still values empathy and compassion first and foremost. Seeing the world as the scary place it can be just rounds out her perspective, but it doesn’t overwhelm it. And Tim stopped pushing that perspective after Lucy found out just how scary the world can be. Because Lucy has been though all of that, gained perspective but still stayed true to herself, she is a good cop. Again, something Tim acknowledged. He disavowed her of the idea that she was somehow less, explained his position, and complimented her with probably the highest compliment he could give someone: the respect of being a good cop.

That difference in how Tim & Lucy approach things is what made them such a great partnership. Tim sees things with suspicion first, compassion second. While Lucy is compassion first, suspicion second. They both quickly adapt to either, but also help the other with finding the necessary POV. So they hardly ever miss anything because if one doesn’t see it, the other will. They are complimentary but not so stubborn in their own initial POVs that they force the issue making things worse. If one is passionate in their belief, the other will follow their decision.

So here is my point: whatever they went through before, good and bad, does not have a drastic effect on discouraging their friendship (and possibly romantic relationship). All of that is more or less fond (okay not so fond) memories. They understand each other, have forgiven each other (Lucy more than Tim because Tim crossed more lines), accepted their faults, encouraged each other, acknowledged each other, and basically formed a lasting bond that is more than TO/rookie and even more than most friendships can be lucky to have. Perhaps even more than most romantic relationships get. And frankly, holding any past mistakes over each other’s head to the point of disgruntlement would not lead to a healthy relationship. Which is why I don’t think Lucy truly holds what Tim did against him. I think it was as it appeared: wondering why the new rookie was treated differently and if that is a reflection on her. Which it wasn’t in any negative way. But to make her point about the differences, Lucy had to list the ways Tim handled everything in their early days. And to make his point, Tim clearly explains the differences and what necessitates that difference. An apology for any of that would negate the point he was making. If Lucy was truly upset in any lasting way, she wouldn’t have immediately worried about Barnes, and she wouldn’t have been so happy at Tim’s compliment.

Will Tim ever apologize for the early days? Maybe. Maybe not. Does he need to? I don’t think so. Not for me anyways. Because Tim is a show me type of guy, and he has shown Lucy in so many ways how much he values her. And Lucy has shown that that means more to her than anything.

#chenford #Tim Bradford #Lucy Chen #Lucy x Tim #The Rookie #the rookie theory

92 notes · View notes

let-them-read-fics · 4 years ago

Text

Youth With You

Pairing: Lisa x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,113

HC Count: 31

This is a mix between headcanons and a one shot

Warnings / Misc. -- Fluff, Little Hot & Heavy, (Public) Teasing, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! Here’s my first writing for Lisa; I’m pretty proud of it! Feel free to let me know what you think. Happy reading, I hope you enjoy!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Becoming a new trainee was terrifying in every sense of the word. The media, the practices, the tests -- everything. 3 months into your coaching, however, things hit an all time high: you gained the opportunity to enter the competition Youth With You, as an independent trainee. Your freedom and right to expression was important to you, so it wasn’t an accident that you were going in independently. A company would only put pressure and bans on you, restricting your creativity and keeping you from being your most authentic self.

Finding out that Lisa was a mentor only made your nerves worse; at the same time, though, you’d never been more excited for something in your whole life.

Having friends in the industry proved to be an important factor as you prepped for the show. Producers and managers gave you advice, knowing exactly what each of the teachers looked for and demanded from their groups. You worked tirelessly to ready yourself for the whirlwind that was sure to come.

When you arrive at the production building, you’re in awe; the interior is ginormous, with insanely high ceilings and huge doors. Everything is coated in various colors, all of them pristine and beautiful. The labyrinth of halls that winds throughout the building before you is quite intimidating, but you take a deep breath and remind yourself of your reasons for being here. It’s far too important to chicken out now.

The staff had tipped you off to the fact that the mentors would be there today, but they neglected to tell you when. You had surely expected them to come in after everyone got settled. Alas, you were sorely mistaken; thus, you can imagine the surprise that etched into your features upon entering the main room.

Ella and Kun were invested in their papers, flipping through the stacks and whispering to each other; Jony J was turned to his right, chatting with Lisa. Your presence was announced by the rather loud thud that echoed through the room at the closing of the door.

The bright lights nearly blinded you as you turned to face them again, dread creeping into your mind.

“Hello everyone, I’m Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The words came out cooler that you had expected, and you patted yourself on the back for remaining so calm. You’re known for managing to hide your nerves well and remain professional, but that’s no easy task with this group of talent. Especially her.

You purposefully tried to avoid looking at her, knowing you’d blush and get majorly sidetracked. You feared you wouldn’t be able to recover from that.

“I see that you’re an independent trainee,” Kun said, a smile spreading across his lips. You swallowed at the sight, knowing the questions were about to come rolling in. “Yes, that’s correct. I prefer working alone; I only have to rely on myself.” He studies you, head tilted to the side as he considers your answer, and you nearly melt under his astute gaze. “I was the same way. It’s never easy, but the mentors and I will be right beside you during your time here.” Knowing that these 4 amazing people were here to share their experiences and guide you through your troubles made the task at hand much less daunting, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought. Despite the intensity of the competition, you felt at ease, knowing they genuinely want the best for you.

“Ah, look at that face! So cute,” Ella coos, grinning back. You hide your face behind your hands, embarrassed beyond belief. Everyone chuckles at the sight, and you join in. With the atmosphere officially comfortable, you allow your eyes to trail over to Lisa. To your surprise, she’s already looking at you, lip between her teeth.

“I see that you have 2 special talents listed.” Lisa starts, leaving room for you to elaborate. “Yes ma’am. While studying abroad in my youth, I learned 3 languages in addition to my native English.” The mentors look pleasantly surprised, and you continue with your other skill. “My mother is a professional chef, and we’ve always been close. She’s trained me over the years, and that’s something I’m very thankful for. During my time away from home I was fortunate enough to learn new techniques and styles from across the world.”

As you finish talking about yourself, you look to each and every one of the judges separately. You know it’s important to have a good connection with all of them, and you use this chance to do just that.

Upon locking eyes with Lisa again, your breath hitches. The light blush that rests on her cheeks, combined with the look she’s giving you, is enough to make you swoon. It’s innocent enough, the way she’s watching you; after all, she can just blame it on her role as a teacher -- she has to get a good understanding of her students. However, though, behind the innocent facade lies a much more sensual reason for her behavior. You don’t miss the way her eyes rake up your body, nor her smirk as she notices your hands mindlessly toying with the band of your shorts. You do your best to keep your attention on the others as they ask you questions about your resume, but that’s easier said than done.

Once they’ve finished with their questions, they invite you to take a seat anywhere you’d like. Despite your desire to book it next to Lisa, you don’t want to be impolite; that’s also not to say that you didn’t enjoy the company of the others -- you truly did. Clearly, though, no one can compare to Lisa.

You give them all another smile, the dimples of your cheeks on full display, and approach them one-by-one to shake their hands. They appreciate the gesture, and you’re confident that you’ve won them over that much more.

As you make your way to the seat beside Lisa, your heart beats wildly. It’s difficult, but you manage to suppress your anxiety for the time being. Letting your control slip now is definitely not an option.

In contrast to the heated look she had been giving you just moments before, Lisa now dons an adorable smile that nearly makes your heart burst. In the moment, you almost reach forward to touch her puffed out cheeks.

You sit down beside her, and she takes a minute to look you over again. It’s baffling how she can go from so wholesome and adorable to flirty in such a short period of time.

As the time ticks on and the mentors work through the list of contestants, the two of you continue to steal conversations and teasing glances.

Things are ramped up, however, when Lisa’s hand finds its way to your thigh, settling there for a bit. You attempt to push the intrusive thoughts from your mind, but they come flooding back the second she leans in to whisper something into your ear.

“You look gorgeous,” she tells you, warm breath fanning over your neck. Her slight accent only adds to the effect that her words have on you. All you can offer is a breathless thank you, thoughts completely jumbled at having the stunning woman do such things to you.

Before anyone can get suspicious, she backs off. The disappointment must’ve been evident, because she chuckles lightly and pats your knee in response. Thankfully no one had been paying you two any mind.

~~~ Practices ~~~

It wasn’t often that you came into the studio upset or exhausted, considering you knew you’d soon be cheered up once you saw Lisa, but she made sure to take care of you when those times came around. She could read you like a book, easily knowing when you’d had enough and needed a break. That’s not to say that she lowered her standards, though -- she was firm and demanding, but she checked on you often. She respected all of her students, but she couldn’t deny that she had a soft spot for you. You lived for her soft gaze and gentle touches on the days you needed them most.

Other days, though, you got a kick out of teasing her; playing dumb, purposefully missing steps, ignoring her instructions -- anything to pull a reaction from her.

↪“Eyes forward,” she would call out, voice strong, upon catching you talking to a fellow trainee when you were meant to be practicing. Her jaw would be set, eyes menacing.

↪“You keep messing up. Here,” she’d declare, demonstrating the moves directly in front of you. She knew exactly what to do to get you going, and sometimes your plans backfired a bit.

↪Those times that you’d play dumb were by far the best, both of you secretly loving the back and forth of it all. “I’m sorry, miss. I just can’t seem to get the moves right.” You’d say, appearing innocent and sweet all the while. It was hard to contain yourself when she’d approach you from behind, pressing her body against your own. “One here,” she’d inform, placing your hand on your hip; “...and one here,” she’d finish, correcting your position once again. When the music restarted, she counted next to your ear, keeping time as her warm hands held yours, guiding you through the positions.

And of course, the majority of the time, you were a great student for her. Her praise had a mighty effect on you, and there existed a mutual love for it. Being a strong dancer often worked in your favor.

~~~ Performances ~~~

Anytime you were set to perform, Lisa made sure to settle in and get ready to enjoy herself. The two of you had spent many weeks getting to know each other better, growing closer in the process. She found you captivating, and always loved to watch you on stage. The same can be said for you; seeing her dance was always the highlight of your day.

The two of you made sure to play things up, having a knack for getting the other riled up and squirming in their seat.

Watching her cool demeanor falter and ultimately crumble before you was one of your favorite things in the whole world. One of its only rivals was how she had to attempt to conceal it, knowing the cameras would be on her often.

“I-I loved it. I’m very proud of you, Y/N.”

You smirked at her stutter; no one else was capable of making her blush as much as you did

~~~ Bonus: Backstage ~~~

“You all did so well. I loved that dance break in the middle of the song.” You gushed to a group of your fellow contestants, smiling at how happy they were. Over the course of the competition you had become something of a “celebrity” yourself, noticing that the other girls would always approach you for help and get giddy when you agreed. Not to mention that the mentors were always proud of your progress and dedication to the craft. The conversation continued, and you settled into a comfortable rhythm; everyone taking a turn to share their favorite part of their performance. Seeing these girls -- your friends -- so proud of themselves was a wonderful thing. Everyone worked so hard, day in and day out, to put forth their best effort in everything that they did. Celebrating each other’s wins just felt right, despite the fact that this is a competition. It always hurt to see anyone go home, considering you spent so much time getting to know each other. These were the people who were there for you when you needed it most; all of you know how hopeless it can feel, and you wanted to protect the others from that in every way possible.

“Y/N!” The sound of someone calling your name pulls you from the conversation, and you send a quick bow and goodbye to the girls before departing.

Your eyes travel across the crowded stage, searching for the source of the noise. You spot Lisa looking at you, hand beckoning you towards her. A familiar warmth spreads across your body at the action, and you don’t even attempt to stop the smile that takes over your features.

“Yes?” You ask sweetly, approaching her. Her hands slip into yours, fingers lacing in a sweet embrace. “I want you to come to my dressing room once everyone goes back to the dorm. You impressed me tonight, but you still have some things to learn.” As that last sentence falls from her lips, your blood runs cold. Her voice had dropped lower, and you feared what she meant by that. Had you mixed up the choreography without realizing it? Surely not. The only thing you were sure of in that moment was the way she was studying you, almost intimidatingly. Her jaw was set, eyes narrowed, and you swallowed thickly upon noticing this. “Of course. I appreciate the feedback.” She smiled, seemingly pleased with your answer.

With a swipe of her thumb across your knuckles, she was gone.

A sigh left your lips, your mind racing at all of the possible things to come.

~~~ Bonus: A Private Meeting ~~~

“You wanted to see me, Lisa?” You announce upon entering the room and shutting the door behind yourself. The two of you had long ago left the formalities behind, opting instead to be on a first name basis. It was much more intimate, and you preferred things to be that way with her. Of course, occasionally you would use her official title just to get a certain reaction out of her. Slipping it into conversation when around the other instructors always worked to get her attention and catch her off guard. It was easy to see that she enjoyed it, the innocent way it rolled off your tongue.

You sit down in the chair opposite her, feeling the coolness of the leather press against your calves as you get situated.

“Good job tonight; you get better and better with every performance.” You thank her, both well aware of how much you enjoy her praise. Her expression turns more serious, and you take a deep breath. Here goes. “I don’t think it’s wise for you to be so close with some of the other contestants, though. Not all of them are interested in gaining your friendship for the right reasons.” With furrowed eyebrows and slightly pursed lips, you look at her. “What exactly do you mean?” Her expression turns unreadable, and you sink into your seat a little more. “Some of them may want to get into your head to throw you off your game. Despite what you want to believe, Y/N, this is still a contest.” You sigh, now a bit upset that she’s treating you like a child. “I’m aware of that, Lisa, but I can take care care of myself.” At the change in tone, the air around you shifts into something more tense. “Are you sure? Because you seem to be pretty oblivious to their actions.” She bites back, shifting her seat to get a better look at you, and crosses her arms.

When you don’t respond, she takes this as her cue to continue. “Don’t play dumb, Y/N. I see the way they look at you, so entranced. They know that acting helpless will get your attention. It’s just to distract you!” She says, exasperated, jaw set and eyes cut, just like earlier.

“Are you jealous?” You ask, a contrasting tone of accusal and uncertainty in your voice. No turning back now.

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Jealous? Of what?” Her eyes setting on you again, a cocky expression on her face.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you start, toying with her; you know exactly what to say. “Maybe at the fact that they get to be so close to me all the time, like you want to be. Or maybe that we sleep together, especially when it gets cold in the dorms.”

It’s her turn to be speechless. “I’m more observant that you act, miss.” She gulps, and you bite back a smirk. “I see how you look at me; your desire is obvious. We’ve both known it for a long time now… Why don’t you just admit it?” The teasing tone in your voice is thick, and it’s clearly getting to her. Who knew you could make her feel like this with just your words?

“Y/N…” Lisa says your name almost as a warning, knowing that you’re on the edge of crossing the line. She failed to deny your claims; after all, it would do no good. She can’t disguise her feelings for you.

A surge of confidence washes over you, and you take that as a sign to scoot closer to her. Soon, you’re mere inches away from her, your body pressed against the side of the seat as you rest your chin in the palm of your hand. Her tongue darts out of her mouth, soothing her lips.

You take her in for a moment, enjoying the sight. Her long dark hair tumbles past her shoulders in loose waves, and a blush takes residence upon her cheeks. Having her like this was something you only dreamed of in the past; seeing her so aroused because of you truly made you think back on how far the two of you have come.

To put an end to the silence, you loop two fingers underneath her chin, successfully coaxing her into meeting your gaze. Your eyes fall to her lips as you ask, “Am I wrong?” Before you can continue, her resolve fades. She leans forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. Any ounce of doubt that you had before melts away as she pulls you closer.

With inhibition and processing skills long gone, you slip from your chair and into hers, settling in her lap. One of her arms wraps around your waist to hold you steady, while her other hand tangles itself into your hair. A swift bite to your lip, paired with a flex of her warm thigh beneath you, sends a jolt through your body and earns her a low groan. She shudders against you, and that simple act works wonders in boosting your confidence.

All too quickly, a sudden noise from just outside the door startles you; reluctantly, Lisa pulls away. You nearly gasp at how dark her eyes have gotten in the heat of the moment. “I’m going to go see what that was,” she informs, gently setting you down in her seat as she stands up. Before turning to walk away, however, she plants another kiss on your lips. “Don’t even think about moving. I’m not done with you yet.”

#AHHHHHH #lisa x reader #lalisa manoban #lalisa #blackpink #blackpink x reader #blackpink oneshot #lisa oneshot #lisa imagine #lisa x fem reader #let-them-read-fics #youth with you #mentor lisa

271 notes · View notes

charlotte-headcanons · 3 years ago

Note

Headcanon ask 9 to Amande, Opera and Compote

Ohhh cool! Thanks for asking! 💕 Especially Opera and Compote don't get that many asks, so always cool to write about them ✨ Let's dive into the past, shall we? 😉

Send us a number and a character and we'll post headcanons!

9. Childhood headcanon

Amande spent most of her childhood on the Rocks Pirates ship and it shows. She never wanted to stay behind in the ports; instead, she felt like she was at the right place among these bloodthirsty, constantly infighting, powerful menaces. It went to a point that when she wasn't wanted in a particular fight, she would just latch onto Rocks' coat and smuggle herself with them anyway, only to be found once it was already too late to get her out of danger. Of course, this influence affected her strongly and is the key to uncovering the reasons for why now, as an adult, she is Like This.

Even as a child, Amande was not interested in playing with other children. She was always quieter than her other siblings, spoke little, but stood out in conflict. Though never a provoker, if someone got on Amande's bad side, they regretted this quickly; the girl was a little murder machine early on, and just like Anana now, she liked playing with sharp blades a bit too much.

Because Amande hanged out with adults way more than with children, she matured way faster. She toughened up, spoke with complex vocabulary even as a five year old, and gained a cynical view on life pretty early on; effectively, she looked even at her older siblings kind of from above, seeing them as childish.

Unlike Amande, child Opera was a gentle soul; perhaps a bit too gentle for what his family was always all about. Whenever possible, he wanted to stay far away from the Rocks Pirates who he felt highly uncomfortable around and who found his fears funny and liked to pick on them - showing him blood, graphic injuries, and so on. Even among his quintuplets, he didn't fit in quite as much as the others, and overall, he just acted sick whenever it was time for him to join Mama in pirating.

Although by now this fascination of his wore off somewhat, young Opera loved animals. Whether domesticated or wild, he would often disappear because he got lost following an animal he saw; he would try to pet them, feed them, and generally considered their company much better than the company of people.

Besides loving animals, Opera learned to enjoy baking early on! He was always quite creative with decorating cakes he made, which eventually caught the attention of Big Mom; it was due to his baking skill rather than a proper personality that Linlin decided that he should receive the next, cream-based Devil Fruit.

When eight-year-old Perospero was left at a port to take care of all the siblings that wouldn't fit on the Rocks Pirates ship, seven-year-old Compote was put in charge of looking after the siblings that stayed on the ship. Thus, in her childhood, she travelled with Rocks Pirates almost constantly, and had to make sure that everyone was fed, safe, and accounted for (whenever Big Mom herself didn't have the time for it). Having to mature so quickly, Compote became a very responsible person, someone who would think of food and supplies even when no other crew members did.

When protecting her siblings, little Compote could get ferocious and she was not afraid of standing up to far more powerful pirates. Her thick skin helped her survive such encounters many times and gradually, she made a name for herself in the crew as someone who was respected despite her very young age. Rocks were all kind of wary of her anyway, considering how similar she always was to Linlin; but after they saw her throw some punches in self-defense against other pirate crews, they all preferred to just not get in a conflict with the girl. Just in case she would turn out to be capable of rampages similar to her mother's...

In their early years, Compote and Perospero did not get along well, although their relations have improved since then. Whenever she met her older brother, Compote would end up annoyed by his immature behaviors, his way of being, and his horrible diet. Likewise, Perospero used to see his younger sister as stuck up and overly serious. Effectively, as kids, they might have fought quite a bit; now, they are able to appreciate these sides of each other a little bit more, even if they still argue sometimes.

Thank you for the ask! 💕 Hope you enjoyed ✨

#one piece #charlotte amande #charlotte opera #charlotte compote #ask

39 notes · View notes

newsies-of-corona · 4 years ago

Text

Varian & Affirmation

Analysis:

And we’ve got another one, folks! This one hit hard for me for sure. Just the way that the show set it up...it’s incredible. So without any further adieu...

“Well, shall we get started?”

Motives

So I’m just going to come right out and say it: Varian is selfish in Season 1. The whole way through. (Now don’t leave yet! If you know me you know how much of a fan I am of this complex alchemist and this is not a hate post by all means!)

But yes. Throughout the whole of Season 1, Varian has a very self-centered mindset that’s hard to pick up on at first, but it’s there. Here’s some dialogue examples:

“I am sure that I, Varian, can unlock the mystery of your hair with the power of science!”

“Hey Flynn Rider? Wanna come with?”

“It doesn’t matter. The truth is all I really wanted to do was impress you, I thought that if I showed you what I was capable of you might see something in me.”

“Actually he’d probably be impressed. At least I hope he’d be impressed.”

Most of these quotes sound perfectly innocent, and they are! But it’s the motives behind them that make them more self-centered. Varian’s main goal, his life blood practically, is affirmation. He yearns to be adored and recognized for his achievements. It’s a perfectly normal and human want. I myself struggle with this all the time. But when it’s the only thing that you strive for? The only thing that makes you happy? It effects everything that you say and do. If you dig deep into these quotes, you can see what he’s really craving.

By discovering the mystery of Rapunzel’s hair, Varian gets credit and especially admiration. By showing his idol his inventions, he’s expecting Eugene to tell him what a genius he is or how amazed he is that this fourteen year old kid could build all this. The third one is just wanting Cassandra to recognize him since he looks up to her, and went to great lengths to impress her. Even when he helped her, it was still because he wanted to impress her and get her to help him in return. Throughout that episode he’s trying so hard to get her to compliment his work. In three of these examples, he gets the adoration he asked for. But that’s the problem: he asked for it. Eugene and Cass essentially tell him the same thing, “you’re a great, smart kid with good intentions.” And both times he responds more...despondently. For Cass it’s “thanks for saying that.” For Eugene it’s just looking at him sadly because this wasn’t what he wanted to hear. In essence: it isn’t enough.

And the last quote obviously represents the affirmation he craves the most, his father’s, and the one that he doesn’t get.

Even slight comments like “I build it myself,” “of my own design,” and “wanna see my new invention?” all have the underlying motive of craving affirmation from his peers. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but since Varian often has tunnel-vision and can’t see the consequences of his actions, it quickly becomes an issue. Especially in the case of, of course, the black rocks.

Taking it Too Far

We find out that Varian discovered the rocks in Great Expotations. Rapunzel inadvertently tasked him with figuring out how to get rid of them, and in his mind he needed to. To impress her and possibly all of Corona. So he ran tests and got reprimanded by his dad probably more than once. But this is the biggest thing he could ever do: rescue his village and the kingdom and make his dad proud in the process. That’s why he wanted to come with him and hopefully talk to the king. Yes, in this case he actually wants to help his village, he’s not heartless and he cares a lot, but he’s predominantly focusing on the rewards that will come after he figured it out.

Of course we know his plans go awry again, but he never stops focusing on his goal of making his dad proud of him. Seriously...NEVER.

Taking it WAY Too Far

Enter: Villain Arc. Suddenly his need to be adored and affirmed flips upside down. He doesn’t want compliments anymore, he wants people to fear him, respect him, and listen to him.

Examples:

“I have asked for help and have been ignored, I will not be ignored any longer!”

“I tried asking for help in a civil manner but was denied by everyone in Corona. So, unfortunately, this is my only remaining recourse.”

“I’ll make them hear me...”

I touched on this in my Confidence analysis, but Varian never loses his drive. And his want to be revered, consumes him. Even when he goes to prison, he joins Andrew and takes over Corona to be feared. But he soon realizes, it’s still not enough. His want for revenge doesn’t satisfy him or make him happy, it just makes him feel worse as the weight of what he’s done gradually crashes down on him.

By the time Rapunzel comes back, it’s all an act. He’s not craving adoration anymore. He just wants a way out of this cycle of disappointment that isn’t getting him anywhere. You can tell from the lines, too.

“Me? No, not really.”

“So that no one will forget they turned their back on my father!”

“I took their queen prisoner! I threatened their princess! I helped these guys take over their kingdom!”

Now the first one is small, but it actually shows a lot of development (even if he says it in a rather dorky way) because he’s not taking credit for something or taking the “fear” that he wanted so badly. The second one just sounds like a threat but it’s not “they turned their backs on me,” like it was in season 1. It’s back to his father, and it’s, in a way, humbling Varian by taking himself out of the picture. And of course the last one is the most evident: he’s listing his faults and realizing he doesn’t deserve the adoration he used to crave so much.

Making it Right

During Varian’s redemption...we see these thoughts really come to light.

“All I ever wanted was for my father to be proud. But if he were free from the amber now, and saw everything I’ve done, well he’d be ashamed.”

This is his turning point. This is where he owns up to how warped and twisted his mindset was and makes an effort to fix it with Rapunzel. Not for himself; not for the glory, but because it’s the right thing to do. He knows he messed up with the Quirineon, and he’s literally willing to die to make up for his mistakes. This is a direct contrast to his previous statement: “I will make you proud of me, dad. If it’s the last thing I ever do.”

Because if he dies fixing his mistakes, he doesn’t expect any kind of praise. He’d leave a legacy of horrible deeds that would never make his dad proud; but he’d be saving Corona and that’s all that matters. Of course he doesn’t actually die, thank goodness, and Rapunzel saves Corona instead, but he’s learned something from this whole experience. And one thing he especially didn’t expect was for Rapunzel to keep her promise after everything. And even when his dad finally says those words...they were supposed to mean everything, but they don’t. It still isn’t enough. Especially not after everything that’s happened. I touched on this in another analysis as well, but he feels like he doesn’t deserve those words.

From this point, Varian has a whole new outlook on life, not dependent on gaining recognition. He’s still the cocky, confident alchemist we know and love, but he shows off his inventions because he’s proud of them, and that’s enough. He saves Corona from the red rocks because he genuinely wants to help his kingdom, he doesn’t have any underlying motives whatsoever. He helps with the Demanitus Scroll because he wants to help Rapunzel figure everything out. And at the end he helps defeat Zhan Tiri because he knows he can help, and he genuinely wants to. (And here’s where I get emotional.)

Varian doesn’t once ask for compliments or a “thank you” throughout season 3, yet that’s exactly what he gets. After all of those years of seeking and yearning for adoration, he finally gets it when he doesn’t need it anymore.

In every selfless thing he does for Corona, he gets a reward in some way. When he rescues the kingdom from black rocks, he didn’t ask for anything in return, yet his reputation was restored. When he agreed to help with the scroll, he actually got to work in Demanitus’ Lab, someone he’s admired forever. And when he helps with the portal, he gets to go see Demanitus’ tomb and I mean...

that’s the happiest we’ve ever seen him. And it isn’t just the big things either, it’s the little ones. The way that Rapunzel calls him “a genius,” when he doesn’t ask for it or allude to it in any way. The “good job, buddy,” that Eugene tells him after he fixes up the balloon. And every time he’s complimented, he stays humble. He even responds one time with “just doing my part.”

And at the very end of his arc, after all of that selfless work he did for Corona out of the goodness of his own heart, he’s given his very own title of “Royal Engineer.” An official position in the kingdom that people truly look up to and respect.

Conclusion

This is honestly one the most well-done character arcs I’ve ever seen, because it’s absolute poetic justice. At the beginning, Varian is so focused on his own need of affirmation that he forgets everything else, and jeopardizes himself on multiple occasions. Especially when his motives become warped. But when he finally sets his pride and his own ambitions aside and realizes he’s already enough, that’s when he gets the respect and adoration that he had always wanted. And that my friends...is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

#just when i think i knew everything about this kid- SOMETHING ELSE SHOWS UP-#varian tts #varian #lissa analyzes varian....again #varian analysis #villain varian #tangled the series

511 notes · View notes