#but if you ARE patient I want to try since it's more accessible on mobile and stuff

[h-a-unted]

Just a reminder that I'm not around much if at all and don't really know how to revive blogs these days. This might be the only one I will try to keep at least sporadically alive because I have a soft spot and very special people around here (glances at Ladybug and Vonny, but also others but them especially lol).

So, please feel free to softblock (or hardblock if you want of course) this and any other of my blogs you follow if little to no interaction is bad for you.

[smuggonifico-lmao]

Click image for better quality

I have finally decided to put my knowledge as a occupational therapist in training to good use and made a little comic about some ADL (activities of daily life) things!

The little cutting aid Leo is using in the last panel is a cutting board with an extra board that has spikes on it. The spikes can be used to impale something, an apple in this case, so its easier to cut it apart with one hand! Also the cutting board has little anti-slippery thingies under it so it doesnt move around while trying to cut something. There are so many things that people without disabilities take for granted, me as well, that we would never notice!

This is @intotheelliwoods Little poptart btw! He is great for demonstration purposes since he only has one arm and also is a little guy and i love him <33

Those cutting boards with spike and anti-slipping aids also exist in real life and are used by people who have problems with motor functions in their hands or are missing an arm/hand alltogether! You can also put toast on it if you wanna spread butter on it or other things to cut apart.

I think anything that can educate and empower a person to be more self confident, self sufficient and independent in what they do is important and more people should have access to aids like these if they need it!

Im gonna link an english website that I found (i apologize for lack of ressources, i am german and mostly only have german one sbdhwbch) and if anyone wants to, feel free to add your own ressources as well! Also if you know that these websites might be shit, also feel free to tell me *insert keysmash* (though unfortunately these can get so fucking expensive, though we learn in our training as well how to make lots of these aids from scratch for our clients!)

[a-little-revolution]

Hi - I'm a relatively new follower, but I love the variety in what you put out.

I work in healthcare and regularly give talks on very basic disability concepts (why eugenics is wrong, how to get AAC access in hospitals, shut the hell up about parents' rights, don't use slurs in educational talks, etc.).

Is there anything you'd recommend specifically for doctors, nurses, and other care providers in terms of a) not creating problems, and b) actually providing quality healthcare for little people? Assume the target audience knows nothing.

Hello! Welcome!! Thank you so much, I try ^^

I gave a talk a while ago on trans inclusive healthcare, and included a lot of disability related things since there's plenty of intersection. As I'm sure you know, the medical system still has a long way to go when it comes to treating disabled folk (and frankly anyone who isn't a thin, white, cishet male).

With dwarfism specifically, the learning curve is astronomical - here's my thoughts: (And note, I am someone who's had roughly fourteen surgeries, countless scans, and endless doctors visits - so I think I can call myself an expert lol)

The first thing is just establishing basic knowledge on dwarfism - how it presents in a person, how it affects mobility and range of motion, what the terminology is etc. Knowing the related conditions is vital as well - my Achondroplasia for instance comes with sleep apnea, respiratory conditions, arthritis, club foot, loose knees, etc. I'm often the expert on my own condition, but I shouldn't have to be relied on as a teacher in traumatic situations.

Make waiting rooms, doctor's offices, surgical rooms, etc. accessible to those bellow 5 feet! Most of the time I cannot get up on an exam table as they are too high and I am not provided a stool without making a special request. The same goes for xray tables, gurneys, etc. I cannot express the frustration of coming into every medical room and not being able to sit or lay down without assistance.

Respect and autonomy are big things that get missed - assumptions that my life isn't worth living, that my pain isn't real, that I don't participate in daily activities, that I don't have sex or want children etc. are just some of the misconceptions I come across with medical professionals and their assistants. Last year during and x-ray was the first time a medical professional ASKED before touching me.

For now this is what I can think of, I thank you for your patience as I do have CPTSD from my medical trauma. I've talked more on being a patient with dwarfism here! Hope this helps!

-Elliot (they/them)

[mabelskins]

How to: Accessibility [EN]

Part 01 - Visual design

It’s been a while since my last how to and felt like putting something together! First of all, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! To everyone out there! Being in the queer community, i know the struggles we go through everyday and am wishing a very proud month to all of us <3

Moving on to the actual topic here: accessibility. It’s been shown here and there when discussing coding and skinning but WHAT DOES IT ACTUALLY MEAN! 

Let’s go back a bit. For years people have been trying to achieve the impossible: an universal design. A design that is universal and usable for ALL people a one-size-fits-all design that will be usable and perfect for everyone. Now, there’s only one ‘little’ problem with this: people are different. I’ve always been overweight and whenever I’ve seen clothes that say ‘one size fit all’, I look at it very suspiciously. Bottom line is: every person is different, pain points and needs will also be different. 

So what do we do? One different design for every person who is using our product? 

Well, let’s make it equitable, let’s provide flexibility to cater for a broader audience, and let this audience choose what’s best for them. But! That’s doesn't take the responsibility from us, the designers (and coders) to make sure that we are making what we can to enable this flexibility. 

------------- I've started a list which I then realised would be way bigger than expected, so decided to make each item into its own post. We'll start with VISUAL DESIGN!

Part 01 - Visual design

Colour

I’ve mentioned before about the importance of contrast and contrast ratio briefly. If you want to go into more details, you may have a look at W3 Guidelines. In short: 

Don't rely on colour alone to convey meaning, information and actions;

Make sure there's enough contrast between foreground and background

Provide an option for light/dark mode

Light/Dark Modes

There’s a myth that dark mode is good for accessibility, because it improves text readability. (Personally, I’m a big fan of dark mode, as white/bright screens may trigger migraines). However, as everything in ux, the answer to ‘is it black or white’ is that it depends. As mentioned before, a good rule of thumb is not to generalise and provide flexibility. 

When using light and dark mode, make sure the colour contrast ratio passes on both modes. Here’s a few tips for designing for dark mode (according to atmos article attached at the end of this): 

Use tints (less saturated colours). Saturated colours can cause eye strain and will be hard to pass accessibility standards.

Image from Atmos website

Avoid pure black. Please. Pure black and pure white when used together might be the default instinct, but the contrast when used together is so strong it becomes hard to look at. Choose dark greys and off-whites/light grey when possible. 

Be patient with your colour palette, inverting colours won’t make it necessarily good. Take your time to build a palette that will be suitable for both.

Target Sizes

First, what is this? This refers to the dimensions of interactive elements such as links, buttons, icons or touch targets. Basically, anything you can interact/click.

WCAG 2.2 established a minimum for pointer inputs to be 24x24. This is the space that should be provided for a clickable area.

Image from W3 website

There's a number of exceptions and guidelines which I won't get into too much detail. It's important to think about the area which people are clicking into these elements. Also remember that this may be quite useful for users that are using the forum in their mobiles - so this is quite important (don't you hate when you can't click somewhere because you haven't clicked the EXACT area needed?)

In short:

Make sure target sizes are at least 24px

Make sure buttons look like buttons, anything that is clickable and interactive LOOKS like they are interactive

Make sure links are underlined (again, as an extra visual sign that they are clickable)

THAT'S IT!!

For part 01 at least. This is just the tip of the iceberg though. If you'd like to dive deeper into this, I highly recommend Stephanie Walter's content, as well as the Extra Bold book read. I'm attaching a few more articles and resources here too! If you've read all of this, you are a champ, I know this is longer than usual. Please like and share this content, let's get it out there!

Articles:

Designers Guide to Documenting Accessibility

Dark mode ui best practices

Dark mode best practices

Accessibility annotation examples

Colour accessibility tools

Inclusive components design

Accessible design in 60s

Target size minimum

Resources

Accessible colours

Accessible colour palette builder

[iamyouknow-yours]

It's been over a year since I got my mobility scooter and longer since I got my cane. So... Mobility Aid Appreciation Post!

Put your own mobility aid appreciation in the notes, I would like to read!

Wheelchair edition:

I can go on fun adventures with friends, spontaneously as well!

I have gone to various parks, to get snacks, and the other day I scooted from university all the way to my friend's house! I went on the side of a small motorway which was a little bit terrifying but it was fun and I was safe.

I can get around campus so speedily. Well apart from that the accessible routes are a little backwards. But I can go fast to them and arrive before people ambling between classes.

Part of the reason is because people just jump out of my way when they see me coming. They move so fast to not be in my way, it is very funny.

Part 2 of that is that I can go through crowds quite easily. It's a little annoying bc people aren't expecting to look down to see people trying to move. But once they see me they move. And they tell other people to move.

People let me sit at the front of things. I got to sit right at the front of a convention panel and I was so near Kat Graham!!

People open doors for me.

I hardly ever have to wait in line for things, I get put in the front and get to skip the queue.

I can be out of the house for much, much longer.

I am way more patient about my friends wanting to take their time doing things and looking in shops because I don't have to stand, I can sit while they do that.

I have way more stamina for being hungry or cold or tired or sore because I can be sitting while experiencing those things.

The battery has only started Running Out one time and even then she did get me home.

It's helped with learning to drive a car because I am better at understanding the turning circle and how reversing while turning works.

I have gotten better at using my scooter! I am pretty good at maneuvering and judging her distance and stuff. I only bump into corners if I'm in a hurry and in my house ie not making an effort to not hit people's walls.

I've had interesting conversations with people who have come up to me to ask about getting one for a family member. This may be not a perk to some people! So keep that in mind. But I think it's also about my vibe, I usually give off the vibe of "you can come talk to me".

Cane edition:

People give up their seats for me. Especially on the train. If there are no seats, then the old women will squish together and then we all sit next to each other. People are really nice about giving me a seat.

I can climb stairs so much easier!

I haven't lost my balance or fallen or twisted my ankle once while using it.

I can lean on it when I get tired which means I can stay out for a bit longer.

I can use it to get up so so much more easily.

I have a built in fidget toy with the strap.

It folds up and so I can put it in my bag to have just in case.

I hurt my leg one time and boom I already had a mobility aid.

I can use it to walk when my tummy hurts and I can't stand up straight.

And to alleviate your fears, no one has asked me why I switch hands when I use it.

Reminder that it is fully allowed and okay to lie to people when they ask why you're using a mobility aid. You can also say, "It's really difficult to talk about."

Or a funny/brave response like "I didn't read the terms and conditions." and "none of your business".

[certifymyhealth]

How do I apply for medical leave for one day?

Registering for medical leave, even if it is just for a single day, can sometimes be challenging. Whether these are for emergencies or acute or chronic illnesses, having the correct paperwork will help. With the advancement in technology, one can apply for a medical certificate online since most people require a medical report from their employer/potential employer or an institution that they intend to join.

Telemedicine has become prevalent in the market. It is much easier and faster to get a Health certificate online. This article helps you understand how to fill out an online medical certificate( Certify My Health ) for one-day medical leave in Pune. We will also learn the advantages of getting an online medical certificate for Leave in Pune and why it is best to avail since we are living in a world that cannot wait for anything.

Understanding the Importance of a Medical Certificate ( get a medical certificate in Pune )

A medical certificate is another document that enables a person’s medical condition to be certified by a medical practitioner legally accredited to issue it, and you can get a medical certificate in Pune. mainly essential when the need to have a sick note to allow absence because of illness or to justify a lack of performance in work duties. The certificate includes the details, including the patient's health state, the doctor’s diagnosis, and the time the patient allegedly needs to leave from work. Authorized medical documentation is, for instance, an essential document to support your request for medical leave so that misunderstandings or disputes between you and your employer are avoided.

That is why whenever you want to apply for a one-day leave, an online medical certificate is the best thing ever since you do not have a physical visit to any clinic or hospital. Most employers can endorse medical certificates online, thus appreciating the reasons for health-related absenteeism.

Procedures for Applying for Day Medical Attendance Certificate Online in Pune

Method of Applying for Day Medical Certificate Online in Pune

1. Select a Reliable Online Health Care Site

The following is getting an online medical certificate in Pune First, an individual should select the right online healthcare supplier. Today, there are many internet facilities where patients can be examined remotely by using a computer to communicate with a licensed doctor. And if needed, receive an online medical certificate. Recommendations, when searching platforms, will involve looking for those with good feedback, different payment options, and accredited freelancers to produce a certificate that the employer will recognize. To get a Medical Certificate in Pune, try Certify My Health, which offers online medical certificates. Certify My Health has revolutionized the way we access healthcare. 

2. Schedule an Online Consultation

After choosing the right platform, set a date for an online consultation. It is done online using the provider's website or a mobile application developed for that specific purpose. Currently, most applications offer an option when the user wants the doctor, so it is very convenient to ask a question to a healthcare professional without changing the whole day. The doctor will interview the patient to review their symptoms, medical history, and other relevant information.

3. Reported to the Doctor for Breast Lump Symptoms

When filling in the self-certification details or providing a doctor’s certificate to support an application for time off, should be truthful and provide all symptoms and payment details. Whether it be fever, headache, or any other flu-like illness, the doctor will assess you and decide if an online medical certificate is admissible. It will be advisable to bring along any medical history needed for the consultation process and any previous prescriptions the doctor might need to review.

Know more about medical certificates — — Apply For a Sick Leave Certificate with Certify My Health

4. Request the Medical Certificate

Where the healthcare provider thinks it appropriate, they will issue a medical certificate online. The records of the consultation, the name of the employee, the date of the consultation, the reason for taking a leave, and the suggested duration of the rest period of one day will be attached to this document. You will receive the certificate by email or from the websites associated with the platform.

5. It is now recommended that the employer receive the certificate.

After getting your online medical certificate in Pune, which is usually a verification certificate, the next thing to do is to submit it to your employer or the human resource department of your place of work. You must follow your organization’s standard protocol for submitting medical documents, which may require emailing or uploading them. Because the certificate is electronic, one can forward it without printing or sending it through the post.

For a Medical Certificate in Pune, choose Certify My Health. We provide quick online certificates by getting connected to a virtual doctor. In this way, you can avoid visits to your nearby doctor or any clinic. We offer Fitness Certificate, Sick Leave Certificates, Work From Home Certificate, Medical Certificate, and Unfit to Travel Certificates. We are just a call away, connect us at +91 8645610788 to get your certificate simply in Delhi, and visit us to learn more about getting all your medical certificates online  https://bit.ly/3WFIVxU

[badassxbirdy]

April Activity Update (Pinned Post)

It’s time once again for an activity update! If you’re new here: these monthly posts help me to keep track of what the frick I’ve been doing, particularly when tumblr breaks or the brainfog strikes. This update includes things posted or in drafts for the month of March. Everything else can be found in previous monthly updates under this tag.

The full activity update (along with OOC house keeping) is below the cut. Bold text = links.

If you want to see all IC interactions without the other stuff, click here. If you’d like to start something new, there are opens, memes, and the wishlist, or you can just hit up the DM’s. You can also add Ty on Wire for IC texting.

Now onto the update!

OOC Houskeeping:

Thank you for being so patient with me while I caught up on things, and through the general life shenanigans that’s been occurring. I appreciate you guys. ❤️

If you can’t trim our thread, please let me know so that I can fix it. A lot of my access is on mobile, so the extensions get a bit iffy at times.

I’ve lost the login for Ty’s discord. 🤦‍♀️ Until I find it, tumblr DM’s or Ty’s Wire are the best ways to reach me both IC and OOC.

I’ve finally begun messaging people in order to update rpthreadtracker. 😂 If it’s been more than three or four months since a thread was replied to, I’ll be shooting you a message (some I have already) to see if you want to continue it or if it’s dropped. Unless of course I’m already aware of you currently being on hiatus or what have you. Please nobody feel pressured to continue something you’re not feeling, I just want to get organised again.

Threads, replies, and other IC interactions:

(In alphabetical order by username)

At the motel (link) - @demcnsinmymind

Car trouble (link) - @demcnsinmymind

Truce? (link) - @demonstigma

Demon kids? Demon kids. (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel

Jonathan meets Hyde!Ty (link) - @harkcr

Ty just being massively confused by Wednesday. 😂 (link) - @hvbris

FBI!Fish babysits human!Ty (link) - @imprvdente

At the fair with Indy (drafted) - @indyflanery

Terrible jokes with Charm (link) - @innerwar

Monster encounter (link) - @lcbcshcart

Demon problems (link) - @magaprima

Ty losing her shit at Proteus (drafted) - @nightiingaled

Under pressure (link) - @normallyxstranger (Casey)

I was just trying to help (link) - @normallyxstranger (Casey)

Get down (link) - @normallyxstranger (Mason)

Does it still hurt? (link) - @normallyxstranger (Mason)

How many fingers? (link) - @normallyxstranger (Tabitha)

Banishment gone wrong (link) - @normallyxstranger (Victor)

Lost in the compound (link) - @razorfst

Meeting Teine (link) - @timelxrd-victorious

Headcanon, dash games, and assorted silliness:

FMK poll results: you right, but she’s still offended. (link)

Smash or pass: Captain Hook - link, Mason - link, and Jamie - link

Things Tyler would do for the bit: link

Ty hitting on people be like: link

I think that’s everything! As always: please let me know if I’ve missed something. I never intentionally drop threads without notifying, rest assured that if it’s not here I simply have not seen it. Remember to be kind to yourselves, and hydrate your flesh prison. ❤️ — Em

[briamichellewrites]

59

It had been a week since Mike officially moved in with Phoenix and they had figured out a routine. They both enjoyed having someone to talk to about their lives, Elliot, and work. She was getting sicker and sicker. After her oncologist noticed she had trouble walking, she has prescribed a wheelchair for safety. That meant she had trouble getting around her house, so she checked into a Hollywood Hotel handicap-accessible suite.

The room had a mobility-accessible bathtub with handles on both sides of the bathtub, nonslip mats, and a bench seat. It also had lower countertops and space for her to get around in her wheelchair without bumping into anything. It was hundreds of dollars a night but Brad wanted her to have the best possible suite to come back to after a long day at the hospital.

She looked like a cancer patient because she had lost her hair. Her oncologist wanted to order another round of treatments after noticing that the tumor still wasn’t small enough for surgery. She had a two-week break to rest and recover. The hotel had a complimentary breakfast, a garden, a sauna, a pool, and a gym. Among other amenities. She loved going out to the garden and smelling the flowers and feeling the sun on her face.

Mike used his Saturday to hang out with her. He missed her and wanted to catch up. The weather was beautiful, so they went down to the gardens and found a place to sit down. She had on a hat to keep the sun off her and a sweatshirt to keep her warm with a blanket over her lap.

Chester was taking care of her dog and he was being spoiled with attention. He laughed. Who has been helping her? It was mostly Phoenix and her dad. Phoenix took over because Brad had to go back to work. He taught him how to bathe her and help her with hygiene. Her room had a refrigerator and microwave, so Brad was giving her his leftovers. Were they vegan? Of course, they were. He laughed.

“He didn’t give me any tofu or anything like that. I think because he knew I wouldn’t like it. It’s a lot of vegetables and animal substitutes. He reminded me that I stayed with him once back when I was younger.”

“I think you did. It was overnight. Oh, Anna and I were meeting with your dad to talk about the adoption and your background. I can’t believe he remembered that.”

“I can’t remember shit that happened yesterday. My oncologist said it’s part of my chemotherapy. I just have a shitty memory sometimes.”

Because she was on a break from chemotherapy, she was feeling better and had more energy, along with a bigger appetite. She wanted to enjoy every second because it would be over before she knew it. Her nose perked up as it picked up a scent. It smelled beautiful! She rolled her wheelchair until she found what she was smelling. It was some type of flower. She didn’t know the difference between species of flowers, just that she liked the smell.

He followed behind her because he was curious about what she was doing. She had a childlike curiosity about her and he was noticing it. Bees and butterflies were flying around. She watched them as they went from flower to flower. They imagined they were looking for nectar. She held out her finger for the butterfly to land but it got scared and flew away. Oh, well. It was worth a try.

After a couple of hours, they went back inside because she was hungry. He brought her back up to her room where she went to her refrigerator to look for the leftovers. She took out a Tupperware container of a fruit salad with lettuce, spinach, grapes, apples, raisins, feta cheese, walnuts, and strawberries. When she went down for breakfast, she grabbed a couple of packages of silverware and placed them on her table. Mike sat with her as she ate.

“That looks like a Brad Delson salad”, he said amused.

“I’ve been picking at it for two days because it fills me up, especially when I cut it up.”

She ate slowly to give her stomach time to digest and she ate until her stomach told her to stop. After putting the cover back on the container, she put it back in the refrigerator to eat more later. He would have to tell Brad she was enjoying his salad. She told him to do it and see what he said. He laughed and said he would.

Phoenix was making dinner with a glass of beer when he got home. How did it go? It was one of the most fun afternoons he had for a while! Good! What was he making? He was making ribs and some vegetables. It smelled good! He went to the refrigerator and took out a beer before closing it. There was an awkward silence. He went over to the pile of mail and started looking through it to fill the awkwardness. Phoenix went back to the vegetables.

“Okay, you know someone for over ten years and you’ve never looked at them as anything other than a brother…”

“Phoenix, if it’s about you and Chester or Rob…”

“No.”

He took a moment before he figured out what he was trying to say. “Me?”

“Yeah. The last time I saw you at the hospital, I meant what I said. You looked good and I was starting to question myself. I just want to kiss you once, so I know if this is real or not.”

“I’m trying to think of something to say because my mind is going in all directions. I’m not ready for a relationship right now because I still have issues I have to work through first but, yeah. You will be the first person I will call when I’m ready.”

He grinned as they got closer until their lips met. They pulled each other closer and put their hands on their hips. We’re going to burn the vegetables. He didn’t care. That made him laugh as they continued getting lost in each other. They finally pulled apart and they looked at each other in happiness before Phoenix went back to the vegetables. After dinner and a beer each, they went up to his room. Neither of them had been with a man before and they were nervous.

But soon, they got lost again in each other’s bodies and their emotions. They took off their shirts before taking off each other’s jeans. They had seen each other in their underwear before but they noticed how good they looked. Phoenix was bigger than he thought. Mike got on the bed and he got on top of him. After their underwear was off, he opened his legs and came in between them.

Their groans filled the empty air. It was what they had missed. The feeling of being with someone and making love to them. They rolled around the bed, as Phoenix moved inside of him. The bed sheets were covered in their sweat but they didn’t care. Mike pressed his fingers into his back, as he filled him up. They were exhausted but satisfied. He pulled out of him and laid down beside him as they caught their breath. They turned to look at each other.

“If this is what happens when we hook up, I’m not going to complain.”

Mike smiled. “Neither am I.”

They shared a kiss before Phoenix got up and opened the window a crack. He then went into the bathroom to clean up. Mike lay in bed feeling happier than he felt in a long time! He never thought he would be happy with another man but he was. Phoenix was safe. Still, he didn’t want to rush into a relationship when he wasn’t ready. He decided to embrace hooking up and seeing if it led to anything in the future.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[cuntess-carmilla]

On disability and gender

I'm writing this from my perspective as a dyadic TME non-binary lesbian (also mixed but very pale and non-Black, as well as relatively thin). I will group myself with women but like, I'm also not really a woman it's complicated lol. I say this because I can't have first-hand comprehension of all the possible dynamics between gender and disability, and other physically disabled people are very much encouraged to add their own thoughts and perspectives to this post.

I don't feel equipped to speak on how being disabled and intersex impacts gendered experiences because I have too much left to learn, so I'm sorry that I'm not going to go into it. It's not because I don't recognize that struggle, it's because I just don't have the range, so please, if you're an intersex and physically disabled person and you want to expand on this, don't be afraid to do so.

Able-bodieds can reblog but don't speak out of turn.

------------------------------------------------

For a long time I've been trying to articulate my thoughts and pain on how physical disability impacts our gendered experiences and I think I'm finally starting to get to it.

When you're physically disabled you're immediately stripped of a (willing) gender identity as well as desexualized.

Gender is embodied and performed. You can embody it "incorrectly" and perform it "poorly". Everything regarding the embodiment of physically disabled people is seen as incorrect, and the literal meaning of "disabled" is that we can't perform the same way that able-bodied people can, or at least we can't without severely impacting our wellness.

Disabled men are emasculated. Constructs of ideal manhood are in big part built on things such as physical prowess, never expressing vulnerability, being self-sufficient outside of anything domestic, and conquering women sexually and romantically.

Disabled men are seen as weak, they are seen as pathetic for having visible vulnerabilities or (if their disability isn't immediately visible) for exposing their vulnerabilities instead of "sucking it up". By needing aid, accessibility and carers that do more than what a wife would traditionally do for any man, the sense of self-sufficiency men are supposed to perform is unavailable to disabled men. All disabled people are desexualized and seen as repulsive once our sexualities are acknowledged, and even disabled dyadic cishet men can't escape this. Able-bodied women see them as unfit for any sort of serious romantic or sexual partnership. Not to mention too the traditional role of men as providers and how difficult it is for any disabled person to acquire wealth at all, let alone enough to support more than ourselves alone. The rates of poverty for physically disabled people are fucking astronomical, so most disabled men can't even use that to their advantage in romance and sex to make up for all the other ways in which they're at a disadvantage compared to able-bodied men.

Disabled women fail at embodying and performing every single aspect of traditional womanhood too, but in particular; domestic labor, sexual labor, and beauty standards.

All labor is difficult if not downright impossible when you're disabled. Disabled women who need carers as adults are seen as complete failures because, even as children, but especially as adults, we're the ones who're supposed to be the carers of others, not the other way around. People love to pretend that women are coddled more than men, but nothing breaks that illusion more than being a disabled woman. A woman's needs are supposed to be invisible and self-fulfilled, or else we're whiny spoiled bitches, and guess what that means for disabled women. When we can't perform this pristine role we're immediately marked as failures, we're undesirable and nothing but a parasitic drag in the lives of abled people.

Yes, not all disabled women are straight, plenty of us are bi or lesbians, many are also aro/ace, but the point is that the patriarchy doesn't really give a shit what a woman's sexuality is, because no woman is seen as having sexual agency, so even if we're not straight we're expected to exist to satisfy men sexually. I cannot describe how difficult it is to be sexual, even when you're not ace, if you're physically disabled. Speaking from my own experience, trying to maintain a sex life as someone who experiences chronic fatigue and chronic pain is one of the most frustrating and demoralizing aspects of my disability. I want sex, I want to want sex, to be able to fuck my fiancé, but most of the time I simply can't gather the energy to even feel horny. I feel like such a failure of a lover because of it. Even though my fiancé is patient and understanding with me!

Can you imagine what it is like for disabled women who aren't as "lucky" as me, to have a partner who understands that we simply can't do it all the time even if we do want to? I don't want to go into too much detail about this because it's very painful and triggering to many, but I think you can imagine what happens to a lot of disabled women (and disabled people in general) when we're not satisfying a partner sexually and they get too frustrated by it. Being as vulnerable as we are, nobody cares much what happens to us. More so since, again, physically disabled people are seen as sexually repulsive, so if anyone wants sex with us we're supposed to be "thankful" for it, no matter the circumstances.

As for beauty standards, any woman who doesn't fit traditional beauty standards will know just how badly men treat you when they don't find you physically appealing, and well... Let's just say that a cane or a wheelchair aren't seen by society as particularly attractive, no matter how much the woman using them fits traditional beauty standards otherwise. Then there's female amputees, women with deformities, etc. In my case, I'm a literal mutant. If I don't disguise my tells with corsetry, long sleeves, and so, so much more, my body looks "off", I have been told repeatedly that my body looks "off" my whole life, and I'm one of the least visibly disabled ones! Even regarding body hair it's fucking hell. My collagen is so elastic that when new hair grows it stays ingrown unless I manually break my skin with a needle or a pumice stone (no, gentler ways of exfoliation don't work), but shaving isn't ideal either because my skin is, due to my altered collagen too, literally transparent and you can see the roots of my dark hairs under it even if I shave down to accidentally harming my skin with the blade.

Performing femininity at all is just... It's fucking hell. If it's exhausting for able-bodied women, can you imagine what it is like for us? I can barely manage to shower, by the time I'm done with my hair, makeup and outfit, every bit of my very limited energy is depleted and then I still have the rest of the day to go through. And I LIKE being feminine. I like wearing makeup and wearing the outfits I wear and yet I still dread it when I know I'll have to do more than stay in my pajamas at home.

Also, the perceived fragility of disabled women isn't the type of fragility that is seen as desirable in women. It's not delicacy. Wheelchairs, canes and other mobility aids aren't seen as "delicate" or "demure". Neither is kinesio tape, or compression stockings, or any other sort of medical equipment which, on top of it all, tend to not be very "aesthetic". Our fragility isn't the romanticized type, it's the "wow, you're an useless burden who can't serve me the way I expect you to" type.

When it comes to "binary" disabled trans people (for a lack of a better term) the degendering is even more intense than it already is for their cis counterparts (all that I described above applies to them too). There's a dichotomy of the even heavier denial of their actual genders as men and women due to the combination of their transness and disabilities, contrasting with how even if they were to conform to their assigned genders at birth they'd still be seen as failures at it due to everything I've already stated. There's also the sentiment that their identifying outside of their assigned gender at birth is a sort of consolation prize, something they're going for only because they were failing at being proper cis men and cis women, and thus their actual genders are even more invalidated and effectively pathologized in the most medical sense of the word, which is already a problem for all trans people, but for physically disabled trans people this intensifies the problem even more.

When it comes to non-binary disabled people things get so fucking confusing and infuriating. If binary disabled people get denied their manhood and womanhood, best believe that multigender disabled people (bigender, genderfluid, etc) are denied all aspects of their genders even harder. Not even completely agender disabled people are safe from being seen as failures of their gender identities by people who would perfectly respect the identity of an agender but able-bodied person. The fact that the default gendered status of all disabled people is forcefully degendered makes it so agender disabled people aren't seen as having any agency or self-determination in their (lack of or neutral) gender identity, it's seen as a passive inevitability from their embodiment, so it doesn't really "count", while simultaneously being subjected to the general transphobic bullshit any other agender person would be subjected to.

All of these things already affect white, thin and dyadic physically disabled people. When you add race (especially Blackness and/or being dark skinned), fatness and being intersex into the mix, the ways in which we're degendered and misgendered are off the fucking rails.

We can't fucking win.

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

I suspect I have ME/CFS but I'm not clinically diagnosed, and idk how I would even get diagnosed, but do you have any tips for beds or comfort? Do you have any comfort tips for someone who doesn't want to be in bed but fatigues early/easily?

So it's actually pretty important to figure out whether what you're ill with is actually ME/CFS or an illness with similar symptoms. Things that are good for ME patients can make people with similar chronic illnesses worse, and vice versa, and if you have something different to ME (or in addition to it) it may require medical treatment, either to make you feel better or to stop or slow serious damage.

If you have access to a rheumatologist, they should be able to run tests that can rule out lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, and they may be able to evaluate you for fibromyalgia as well. They'd likely run panels to check your blood counts and rule out vitamin deficiencies that can cause things from fatigue to neurological damage.

These are good things to do even if you're 100% sure you have M.E., because some of this stuff is commonly comorbid. (Oh, and if you have M.E. you might wanna get checked out for the most common comorbidities, like POTS or fibro or hEDS or IBS, to see if you can limit the strain your body's experiencing. Treat any comorbid migraines, etc.)

Check out the international consensus criteria to verify for yourself if you have M.E. Your GP may be willing to diagnose you if that's something you need or want to pursue - my original diagnosis was from a family doctor. A rheumatologist is better though, because they'll understand autoimmune stuff and know what to rule out. My rheumatologist caught ME symptoms I hadn't even noticed before.

In general though, being an ME patient means doing a lot of your own research. Doctors frequently know very little and only some are willing to read up on it. Don't let anyone try to sell you on graded exercise therapy - research shows it makes ME patients sicker, but some doctors recommend it anyway since it's good for many illnesses with similar symptoms.

As for what you actually asked about -

I think what you need/want as far as comfortable beds etc is going to be very specific to your particular body.

My main advice is to pay attention and not let yourself dissociate from your body.

People with chronic pain and fatigue often ignore our own bodies most of the time to avoid feeling that pain and fatigue so much, and it means we can have a hard time knowing what helps or hurts.

Experiment and be deliberate about noticing what feels restful and what doesn't.

In bed, you might find that you want extra pillows to support different parts of your body - a knee pillow makes a huge difference for me, and a body pillow under the edge of my back when I lie on my side.

Outside of bed, sit often and sit comfortably. As much as possible. I have found that it's WAY more draining to let my legs dangle down than to pull them up and cross them, so I sit cross legged a lot. I also have a day bed in the dining area so I can lie down when I get tired without missing out on socializing, or without leaving the room when I'm cooking. I've found that a chair with a back is less tiring than a chair without one. I also have a wheeled stool in the kitchen so I can cook sitting down and move around the kitchen without walking. It’s a lifesaver.

If you're not already using a mobility aid, consider getting one. I tire way, way less quickly with my rollator than I do with my cane, and I tire way less quickly with the cane than I do walking unsupported. (Also, some rollators and even some canes have convenient sitting when you're out and about!)

A cheap hand-propelled wheelchair doesn't save me energy unless someone else can push, but fancier ones are much easier to move, and motorized ones are least draining of all.

But honestly a $10 cane can be a lifesaver all on its own, even if you only use it on big fatigue days or when no one else is around.

Pay attention to whether light or sound tires you out, and if it does, try to reduce light and sound in the area where you rest. Same with other sensory input that can be quietly fatiguing. You may want to limit this input even outside of rest, so you don't wear out as fast. Lastly, if you're pretty sure you do have M.E., read up on pacing. My rheumatologist gave me this very easy to understand, nicely packaged guide to pacing, complete with charts to help you keep track of your activity patterns and explanations for friends and family so they can understand enough to be supportive.

Pacing is the number one best thing you can do to protect your health if you have M.E. The less often you go into post exertional malaise, the more ability you will retain.

Sorry this is so long but I hope it helps!

[mellometal]

ATTENTION: This is some recent information about the current events with Chris Chan that I've been able to find, plus additional information that I couldn't find anything on that is now public knowledge.

ALL videos about any updates will be linked so you can watch them for yourself, if you wish.

Again, OBLIGATORY trigger warning: This post will be going into very sensitive subject matter, including r@p3, s3xual assault, elder abuse, and inc3st. I will also be mentioning the site Kîwî F@rm$ and the person who runs it (Null). DON'T go onto Kîwî F@rm$. Just stay away from there. It's like 4chan (another site full of REALLY fucked up shit, depending on which forum you go to), but worse.

If anything I mentioned is triggering for you or makes you otherwise uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. It's not worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. Take care of yourself, please. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

ALRIGHTY, LET'S GET TO IT. Because there's quite a lot of bullshit that happened since the first post I made about the current events. And some more information that will most likely be the nail in the coffin for Chris. I'm patiently waiting for more updates as they come and I'll share them here as soon as possible.

The person Chris was in a call with was revealed to be a troll under the name "Bella". The screenshots of messages and the audio from the call have all been confirmed to be real.

It's also been revealed that Chris confided in Null about her having a girlfriend, having s3x with her, all that. Here's a list of things to describe this "girlfriend" below, which I will compare to Barbara in bold:

This woman is "in her over fifties". (Barbara is eighty years old. Most people would assume that someone's in their late fifties when this terminology is used. Eighty is well over fifty.)

Her favorite person was the late Adam West in the 60s, as it was "for her son back then". (I don't know if Chris is referring to her half-brother Cole Smithey [he does movie reviews, and he's most famous for being one of the only people to give Toy Story 3 a negative review] here, or if she's referring to herself before she came out as trans. I'm adding this here anyway.)

Chris has known this woman "for a long time", offline and in-person. (OBVIOUSLY she's known Barbara her whole life, since she's, AGAIN, HER MOTHER! DUH.)

They've been having s3x "every three nights". (Like how Chris admitted to doing to her defenseless mother. PRETTY FUCKING FISHY, IF YOU ASK ME.)

They began having s3x on June 27th. (The same day that Chris admitted to doing to Barbara.)

This woman was an accountant when she was younger. (Barbara's job was EXACTLY this.)

Chris said she feels grateful to "enlighten" her girlfriend with s3x play that she (the woman) "missed from even her exes". (I didn't mention this in my initial post, but if you chose to watch the videos that were linked, Chris mentioned that Barbara's boyfriends and ex-husbands "have never been able to make her 0rg@$m" like Chris did. SHE EVEN MENTIONED HER LATE FATHER. THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING AND DISRESPECTFUL.)

Chris has been "keeping her girlfriend safe" too. (She had been "taking care of Barbara" since Bob, her late father, passed away. This right here is proof alone that she was talking about HER MOM!)

Her girlfriend "didn't want to do it at first", it was "very painful" for Chris's girlfriend in the beginning, and it took a few tries for them "to get going". This included Chris doing it FOR her because she thought her girlfriend would "feel better" due to her lack of mobility and lucidity. (Chris said all of this exact stuff TO "BELLA" during their call.)

Null initially thought that Chris was lying about sleeping with her mother to cover up the fact that she had a girlfriend and having s3x with her. Why? Because apparently people would believe Chris would have s3x with her mother than some other unknown woman. Chris told Null to keep her girlfriend's identity secret because she was afraid her girlfriend would get trolled and she'd end up losing her.

What Null realized was that what Chris told him completely matched the description of Barbara. Note that before he looked into this, he was unaware of the context Chris was giving him about her "girlfriend".

It's extremely possible now that Chris admitted to s3xually assaulting Barbara to Null and "Bella", but she wanted Null to keep it confidential. Chris wanted NULL to keep the fact that she admitted to committing a VERY serious crime A SECRET.

If Chris WAS actually lying, she'd use a lot more CWCisms (her own phrases) or say that she was "using her psychic powers" to have s3x with Barbara's fictional counterpart in another dimension. But no, Chris was VERY straightforward and talked about it casually like if you were to talk about the weather.

Chris, according to Null, slept in a parking lot in her car the other night. At least for a few hours, though I don't remember where the FUCK else she slept (maybe a hotel room eventually), considering she had -$200 in her bank account. I believe some people who are in contact with Chris sent her some money to get food too.

Null revealed that he set up a GoFundMe previously for Chris to attend a Brony convention, which was a test to see how Chris would be able to handle commissions. The GFM was successful, to say the least. Chris fulfilled commissions successfully, DESPITE NOT WORKING ON THE FUCKING COMIC. Y'KNOW, THE THING SHE'S PAID FOR ON PATREON TO DO!

Well, due to recent events, he has since taken down the GFM and is refunding all the money to all the donors. He was debating on sending Chris money (the GFM money, since Chris isn't able to go to the Brony convention), but he decided not to do so. He told Chris to sleep in her car, spend the night under the stars, and reflect on her current situation until the morning, when Null would help her find a temporary roof over her head until August 5th.

Barbara tightly manages Chris's finances. Those are Null's words, not mine. You want to know why Barbara's been having trouble with the house and shit? CHRIS HAS BEEN STEALING MONEY FROM HER FOR YEARS. HER CREDIT IS ALL SORTS OF FUCKED, SHE'S BURIED IN DEBT, AND IT'S CHRIS'S FAULT. THE PERSON WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING CARE OF HER.

How did we find out about Chris recently getting more money, specifically $750? Well, Null has had access to Chris's emails for the past few years (Chris knows this), and he found an email that Barbara had sent Chris money.

That's a violation of the EPO (Emergency Protective Order) that was put into affect for Barbara. Chris was NOT supposed to contact Barbara in ANY way, shape or form.

Null asked Chris about this and told her that this was a violation of the EPO. He asked her if her mom sent her money. Chris denied it at first, and then went into the whole goddess bullshit she goes into. She then admitted to accessing Barbara's banking account online and wiring the $750 to HER account. Chris also said that she'd pay her back the $750 after receiving the $1000 that Null was supposed to send to Chris. Null was obviously upset with what Chris had done. Who wouldn't be?

Guess what Null did in reaction to what Chris told him? HE BLOCKED CHRIS AND REPORTED HER TO THE POLICE. I'm honestly surprised he stuck with her this long. He genuinely wanted to see Chris become a better person.

It's only a matter of time for Chris's arrest. With all this information that's out there now, more information probably coming very soon, plus people close to Chris confirming all of this....I feel it's safe for me to say that Chris did s3xually assault her mother.

I don't feel bad for Chris anymore. I have no sympathy for Chris. Any ounce of respect for this person has been long since gone. I don't feel comfortable even referring to Chris as a person. She's a monster.

I talked about Chris a few times a few years ago on Instagram, and I got yelled at for tearing this motherfucker apart. Because apparently I was an "ableist bully" for having my grievances with Chris, despite the fact that I'm autistic too and I've never "bullied" Chris for being autistic. Not even once. My grievances had more to do with Chris using her mother and their animals to exploit them for her own monetary gain INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FIND A JOB. I've even tried to suggest that she go work through a temporary work industry and get paid daily. (At that time, I didn't know that trying to interact with Chris wasn't a very good idea. I've since learned, obviously.)

Here's a link to Gibi's video:

Dillon Thomas's video:

The stream with Null:

Geno Samuel's stream:

Here's Rogue's video and live stream he did about the situation. Rogue is one of my FAVORITE YouTubers, as edgy as his content is.:

Thank you for your time.

[destiny-islanders]

Hey Des! Do you have any Babies First Do's and Don't's when it comes to Thaumaturge/Black Mage? Cuz I must admit I am pretty confused by it, so hope there's just something simple I don't get ;D

DOs

DO get out of AOEs. I know it’s tempting to try and get off one last Fire spell before you have to move, but you’ll do even less DPS if you’re dead. Pleasantly surprise your healer and be a good little Black Mage by staying out of the bad.

DO keep up your Umbral Ice / Astral Fire. As you level Black Mage, you’ll get a timer on your gauge that ticks down between your casts of Fire I-III / Blizzard I-III. This timer will become crucial at higher levels, since keeping it from running out is the way you ensure you have constant access to your strongest spells. Using abilities like Transpose (and even better at higher levels, Despair) between fights will help you maintain your strongest levels of DPS from start to finish in every battle.

DO use both Blizzard AND Fire spells. Blizzard spells are weaker, but they recover your MP. Fire spells are stronger, but they drain your MP. You need to use both to be a good Black Mage. No Ice Mages or Fire Mages in this dojo!

DO keep up your Thunder DoTs. Every little tick of damage counts, so be sure to keep an eye on your Thunder spells ticking down on your enemies and refresh them when they run out.

DO make a habit out of using abilities like Between the Lines and Manaward to make your life easier. You’re a glass cannon who likes to move as little as possible. When you inevitably have to get out of your Ley Lines to avoid an AOE, nyoom right back into it once the danger has passed with Between the Lines to pick your rotation back up. Popping Manaward before you’re smacked with a Prey marker or even a raidwide will make everyone’s lives easier!

DO learn to move as little as possible as a Black Mage. This is something you’ll learn as you get used to playing this class. You will get a feel for moving as little as possible to get to safety, then anchoring yourself back down to keep DPSing. Since I played through basically the whole game as a Black Mage, those habits have yet to die, even when I play classes with insane mobility like Dancer and Machinist hahaha

DON’Ts

DO NOT save abilities like Ley Lines or Triplecast at certain points in dungeons. Obviously in high-end content there is probably a time and place for saving these abilities for burst windows, but in 4-man dungeons, for instance, there’s no reason you shouldn’t plunk down your Ley Lines to help strengthen and speed up your AOE spellcasting to take out mobs. If you’re familiar with the dungeon and you know a boss is right around the corner, sure, save it if you want, but don’t let these skills go to waste if you can help it!

DO NOT re-apply Thunder DoTs to enemies before the timer runs out! Be patient and wait until the timer is just about to run out to re-apply the DoT. It’s a waste of DPS and your precious MP otherwise U_U

DO NOT use Blizzard II if you have Freeze available. Blizzard II sucks. All my homies hate Blizzard II.

DO NOT take Fire I off your hot bar, ever. Even at Level 80, Fire I is a CRUCIAL spell in the Black Mage rotation.

DO NOT stay super far away from the enemies + your party in battle. I know it’s tempting to stay in the back of the arena during boss fights, but there have been so many times where I’ve seen Black Mages die because they’re too far away from the healers to heal them when they get hurt. Don’t make your healers scramble to find you to heal you. (They may also just let you die hsgsfgksjfdgs) 

DO NOT be afraid to look up guides for the Black Mage rotation. Seriously. It’s a tough job. I think I’m a halfway-decent Black Mage BECAUSE I looked up guides on how to play the job well. (Honestly this is true of any job... There is no shame in looking to outside help to get better at your favorite jobs. Games are much more fun to play when you know what you’re doing, at least in my opinion hahahaha)

[shinesurge]

I’ve been holding off on making this post because I wanted to try it out myself and get settled in and make sure everything went okay, but seeing as I’ve gone ahead and updated my site and everything I thought now might be a good time to start talking about this publicly! 

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes you know I fucking hate Webtoon, like, a lot. Every aspect of it disgusts me to the core of my being, and while Webtoon is the ugliest version of them the aspects that I hate also extend to basically any comic aggregate site. I hate that they treat artists like content robots, I hate that they treat comic readers like morons who aren’t capable of engaging with complex stories, I hate that they actively try to strip away all the cool parts of indie comics by cultivating sterile and impersonal environments that discourage artistic experimentation and unique expression.

So! I hope you’ll be interested in what I have to say about this new platform that’s (hopefully) going to be out of alpha this summer. If you think you like reading comics on Webtoon, I really encourage you to check out Dillyhub once it launches. That’s the short version, but I have a LOT to say about this! So I’m putting the rest of this under a cut.

Full disclosure, I’m not getting paid or anything for this. The creative outreach at Dillyhub contacted me a few weeks ago asking if I’d be interested in having Kidd Commander be one of their launch titles when they go live this summer. I was hesitant at first, since I actively distrust anything claiming to be For Creators at this point, but they answered my pushy questions patiently and everything seemed on the up and up so I gave it a shot; I’ve been needing a mobile mirror for KC anyway. Eventually they invited me to the alpha creator discord, where they’ve been working directly with all of us artists to improve the platform, and now to be honest I’m REALLY excited for this thing to get off the ground. Nobody asked me to make this post, but since I’ve spent years whining and bitching about how other services do wrong by their creators, I thought I’d talk about this one that’s doing things right.

So, the biggest advantage this site has for creators over others in my opinion is that it. Treats us like individuals, regardless of follower count lmfao. If you’re a new person just starting out with your new webcomic, here’s what webtoon does for you:

Note: you don’t get a custom banner, you don’t even get to choose the solid color it is. That big circle icon is ALSO the image that shows up in searches, but everywhere else on the site it’s a 100x100px square, so you have to choose whether you want it to look good as a giant circle at the top of your comic’s page OR whether you want to look good in search results. Which, by the way, is the ONLY way for people to find you if you’re not partnered. And that’s it! You have no monetization options, you won’t show up on the genre pages, and when someone DOES stumble across your page it looks super unprofessional. Good Luck! 

Now here’s my Dillyhub page(s):

You don’t get a static banner and one icon, you get a whole carousel banner with as many images as you want front and center as soon as you get to the project page. You get seven (custom!) genre tags, as opposed to Webtoon’s single tag you have to pick from their list, and plenty of room to talk about your work. The episodes are even laid out better, you get a MUCH bigger preview space to work with and they’re nice and big on the bottom half of the page:

you know, like they’re actually presenting ART lmfao.

That’s already an ENORMOUS improvement, but here’s my favorite thing.

o hm that’s a lot of super cushy settings I have for every individual episode, but what’s that, Episode Type?

LIKE.

listen, i know this is probably a bit specialized if you’re not a comic maker yourself, but this is a HUGE DEAL. You can post vertically OR page by page! You can even post pages two at a time for double page spreads, or so they read like a physical comic book! AND their specs are really open, as long as the file meets the size requirement you can make it whatever shape you want. You don’t have to reformat all your shit to post here!! I posted the entire first volume of KC STRAIGHT FROM THE PRINT FILES in like half an hour!!! The episodes can also be any amount of pages, you can post a single page or an entire chapter all in one go!

So that’s just the project page for the comic, let’s see what happens when I click on my username there.

Each author gets their own unique page (which you can tack a vanity url to!) to present themselves however they want! You always have the banner at the top, but beyond that you have a ton of options. Among other incredibly useful tools that really should just be bare fucking minimum at this point, like the ability to preview your page on different devices, you start customizing your blank page with this set of widgets,

and from THERE you can customize them MORE, you can promote your patreon or your kickstarter or whatever! Having this creator space ALSO means that if you run several comics, or if you want to promote your comic AND your illustrations, you can just separate them into individual projects! Each with their own page! This is also really nice as a reader because you can subscribe to a creator but you can also just subscribe to specific projects, if you don’t want to get ALL of their stuff in your inbox. It’s so good y’all hh.

Once again, all of this functionality is just THERE as soon as you make your account. You don’t need to be “partnered” or whatever the fuck, you don’t need to meet a certain follower threshold to unlock the ability to operate normally. You get your own creator space to present yourself how you prefer, you get pages for all your projects, you can even set up monetization options (and change them for individual pages IN a project) right from the start.

ok ok let’s compare this to my webtoon page

oh that’s right webtoon just puts your greyed out name at the bottom of each comic and that’s it because human beings don’t make this stuff, my bad lol anyway

Other fun shit that Dillyhub does that makes me feel like they’re people who have actually consumed or made comics on the internet at some point in their lives:

-When you log into the “studio” space, you’re in your creator account. When you log OUT of the studio space, it’s like you swap to a “reader” account, where you can access your pull list and comment on things with a different name and profile icon. Again, maybe only cool if you’re a creator, but if you ARE then you know exactly why this is incredibly useful lmao

-You can set up “hidden” projects, so if you only want certain things to be accessible by certain people or to not show up in searches that’s an option! You have SO much control here it’s great.

-The comment section has moderation options GODDD. You also have a real comment space, you know, so it actually encourages building a community (and a rapport with your community, if you like), and you also can just turn comments off entirely if you want! I haven’t used it much yet, obviously, but it’s been made very clear in the discord that artists want better control over their comment sections and the devs have it on their priority list.

-Absolutely every step of customization gives you a preview before it’s live, so you can easily see what these images you’re posting in different places are going to look like before you beam them to your followers’ inboxes. This includes individual episodes!

-This was sort of in one of the screenshots but it’s important so I’m saying it here too: the option to mark individual episodes as mature or with content warnings, rather than having to mark an entire comic as Mature Spooky Scary Content because of one or two pages getting a bit hairy.

This site is only in alpha right now, and it’s invite-only until they get to beta (for creators; anyone can make a reader account! but they haven’t set up a way to browse comics without direct links yet so) but honest to god it’s already blowing every other site I’ve used clean out of the water. And the staff has been really kind and responsive to us proposing fixes or changes! I will always defend individual websites as being the best option for an indie comic, but everybody’s gotta start somewhere and we NEED something that isn’t Tumblr or Webtoon to fill this role; this site feels a lot more like a symbiotic relationship than any of the other staples available for new creators right now. If you’re a comic reader and you want to see your favorite comics on Dillyhub I’d suggest keeping an eye on this site and once it’s live start poking them to look into it, and if you’re a creator follow their social media and hop in when they open up for anybody to join. I would LOVE to see this site take off as a viable option for hosting and reading comics.

Thanks for reading all this! I haven’t quite finished setting up yet, but if you want to poke around a project/creator page for yourself mine is here have at it. As things progress I’m sure I’ll have more to say, but since I’m usually so aggressively negative about places like this I just wanted to give some credit where it was due. fucking finally.

[ak47stylegirl]

Doctors Appointment: Chapter 4

Next chapter!! 😁 I’m really glad you guys are enjoying this fic! Reading every one of your comments fill me with such joy, so thank you  💙😘

Past chapters  @janetm74 @alexthefly @dragonoffantasyandreality @katblu42 @inertplanetary @cg29 @gumnut-logic

---

Alan was eyeing the blood pressure monitor wearily. Alan’s dislike of the device was clearly displayed on his face. 

“Now, let’s see how your blood pressure is doing today?” Dr David wrapped the cuff around Alan’s upper arm. “I hope it hasn't succumbed to peer pressure….” 

Alan stared at Dr David, not impressed with the attempt at humour. 

This wasn’t funny…

The cuff began to inflate, building pressure. 

Alan whimpered, clenching his teeth as the pressure built, his eyes watering slightly. He didn’t like this…

He really didn’t like this!

“Shhh, it’s alright, it’s alright...” Scott began rubbing soothing circles into Alan’s back, kissing Alan’s temple, “The pressure will go away in just a moment, baby, I promise...”

Alan whined, not enjoying the pressure on his arm at all. Like could you, I don’t know, get this thing off my arm?!

Seriously, when will it end?!

‘Beep! Beep!’

Alan visually deflated in relief as the cuff began letting off pressure, rubbing his arm with a little pout. Alan never liked getting his blood pressure taken.

Never.

Scott chuckled fondly at the sight, finding the expression on Alan's face so cute. 

It was just so adorable-

Dr David was frowning at Alan’s blood pressure results, Scott realised with horror, his slightly good mood crumbling to the ground. Dr David was frowning in a way that had Scott’s gut twisting into knots.

Oh no…What’s wrong now?! 

Why can’t his baby brother catch a break?!?

“Doctor?” 

Dr David sighed, “Alan’s blood pressure has dropped quite a bit since his last appointment, which I’ll be honest is worrying….” 

Scott’s stomach dropped to his feet as he took in the doctor’s words. “Low blood pressure?” 

Okay, that wasn’t good. But…but it could be managed, right? 

Alan glanced up at Scott, his eyes widening in fear, sensing the mood in the room. While Alan didn’t really understand what the grown-ups were talking about, he knew it was something bad…

Why else would Scott sound so horrified? 

Alan’s eyes began to moisten. 

“Unfortunately, yes...” Dr David nodded sadly, picking up his tablet again. “Which is why I’m going to prescribe a liquid iron supplement for Alan…”

Alan whimpered, causing Scott to glance down at him. 

“Shhh, it’s alright, baby….” Scott whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of Alan’s head. “Nothing you need to be scared about, okay?” 

Alan didn’t need to worry about it, that was Scott’s job to do…

Alan nodded meekly, feeling a little less afraid. If Scott says it’s nothing he needed to be scared about, it shouldn’t be too bad, right? 

But wait, iron supplement?

Alan looked up at Scott, heavily puzzled. Wasn’t iron a metal?? 

“Scotty? I’m c-confused….” Alan mumbled shyly, unable to resist asking his question, “isn’t iron a...a metal?” 

Scott chuckled softly in amusement.  

“Yes, it is….” Scott smiled softly down at Alan with tender fondness, “But the iron in your blood is a little different to the stuff Virgie and Brains works with….” 

The same but not the same... 

“I…I don’t understand; I have….” Alan groaned weakly, a wave of dizziness washing over him, “I..I have iron in… in my blood?” 

Scott frowned in concern as Alan leaned heavily into his side. 

“I’ll explain it to you later, okay?” Scott promised, deciding he was definitely having that conversation with Virgil present. “It’s a bit too complicated to explain here...”  

And because, while Scott understood it to an extent himself, actually explaining it to a curious child like Alan would require a little more knowledge. (and time...)

Hence Virgil…

“Okay! There…” Dr David finished writing the prescription up, “Alan is to take this once a day with meals, and hopefully we should see some improvement next time…”

Scott nodded, pulling his phone out to receive the prescription. Alan watched slightly fascinated as Dr David swiped the hologram over to Scott's phone. 

‘Ding!’ 

And like that, the prescription was saved to Scott’s phone. And sent to Thunderbird Five and the island’s infirmary. Scott slipped his phone back in his pocket, content that John would organise the ordering of Alan’s meds. 

Knowing John, he was probably doing it this very second. 

“Okay, lets have a look at your weight...” Dr David wheeled a chair over to the examination table, a portable scale for patients that lack mobility. They had gotten one added to their infirmary after Alan's diagnosis. 

It came in handily at times.  

“Let’s hope you put some weight on since last time, shall we?” Dr David smiled at Alan, switching the scales on. “Okay, when you’re ready...”

Scott helped Alan on to the chair with a heavy sigh, not feeling very confidant that there will be much improvement. 

Alan struggled to keep even a little bit of weight on, let alone regain it.  

‘Beep, beep, beep’ 

“Okay, let’s see-ah...” Dr David grimaced at the results, causing Scott to frown as he helped Alan off the chair, “Well, Alan has lost some weight, but with him being sick, it is understandable...”

While it was understandable, it still wasn’t good...

“Is there anything we can do to help him regain it?” Scott questioned while gently putting Alan’s braces back on, beginning with Alan’s arms. “He really struggles to keep it on...”

Alan watched as Scott gently secured the main part of the brace to his arm. The underside of the brace was mostly open, allowing the future IV cannula to be easily accessible for his treatment. 

Alan dreaded the moment he had to get the IV put in. He really didn’t like needles...

He really, really didn’t like them.

Scott then looped a padded strap around Alan’s thumb, connecting it to the main brace which stopped just before Alan’s fingers. With that done, Scott secured the upper arm part of the brace. 

And then it was on to the next arm. 

“I’m hesitant to put Alan on any weight gaining meds with his young age and all...” Dr David explained, crossing his arms lightly against his chest. “But I can recommend that you try to increase his fibre and protein intake...”

Scott nodded, looping a padded strap around Alan’s foot and heel. 

“I would suggest adding a fibre and protein supplement to his meals, or even in a smoothie..” Dr David smiled softly at Alan, “Do you like your smoothies, Alan?”

Scott smiled softly as Alan nodded shyly. “Do you want to tell Dr David what’s your favourite flavour is?”

Alan blinked down at Scott, who was beginning to tie Alan’s shoes. 

“Uh...apple juice with mangos, and...and strawberries?” Alan mumbled softly, nibbling on the tip of his thumb. “But...But I’m fine with what my brothers make me...”

Scott grinned slightly, knowing that Alan always liked his smoothies. Sometimes to the point of stealing (read: puppy eyes Scott into giving it to him) them. 

“That sounds very nice...” Dr David nodded with a smile, “While I'm enjoying this conversation, I think we’re just about done here...”

Scott nodded in agreement, lifting Alan into his arms. “Thank you, we really appreciate your help...”

Dr David waved the compliment off,

“It’s my pleasure to help...” Dr David looked at Alan with a slight grin, “Now you behave for your brothers and Grandma, okay?”

Alan hid his face in the crook of Scott’s neck, nodding slightly.

“Don’t worry, we’ll make sure he behaves himself...” Scott smiled, giving Alan a kiss on the head. “Won’t we, kiddo?”

TBC...

[siennahrobek]

Initially, Obi-Wan thought that sleep would assuredly allude him.

Perhaps he underestimated the trust and affect his troops had on him and how exhausted he really was because he slept fairly soundly through the night.

He was still surrounded by troopers by the time he woke up, although he was fairly certain that there significantly less numbers of them. Although it was a bit of a challenge with position, Obi-Wan tried to meditate a little before the next disaster would inevitably occur. It was only a tad successful as he kept going back to thinking about Anakin. And right now he just…couldn’t.

Afterwards, he got dressed, complete with his old armor pieces and left the barracks to get to work.

“Greetings, Master Kenobi,” Cin Drallig nodded at him as Obi-Wan walked onto the bridge. There wasn’t many present; it was mostly a skeleton crew, but they paid him little heed. Next to the battle master stood a clone trooper from the meeting before, one of Obi-Wan’s 212th boys, Menace.

“General,” Menace welcomed.

“Master Drallig, Menace,” Obi-Wan nodded at the both of them.

“The boys and I have encrypted and encoded a way for you to get a message to the other Jedi generals that are scattered across the galaxy,” Menace explained as he pulled up a map of the galaxy, planets already highlighted. Obi-Wan presumed that was where jedi and their troops had been positioned. “As long as we know where they are stationed, we can get it to them and encode it so only a Jedi would be able to access it. We made this option just in case there are any activated chipped troopers around or natborns who are loyal to the Empire.”

“That was rather fortuitous of you,” Cin glanced at the trooper, curiously but he projected gratitude, something a little odd from the battlemaster but it was no less appreciated.

“Just precautions sir.”

“Alright, we have to figure out exactly what information we need to send to the others,” Obi-Wan said as he followed Cin and Menace down the halls which ended up being to an office. Was it his? At this point, he wasn’t really paying attention and most of the office rooms looked virtually all the same. This one had been recently packed with communications equipment and a holotable for good measure.

“The basics will be key,” Cin replied with a hum as he closed the door behind them and tied back his longer hair. “We will have to divide it up between what to do when running from activated soldiers or what to do when communications have been shut down so they can’t receive the orders to active the chips.”

“Constrain natborn officers, no communications aside from jedi, which will come up in about three days,” Obi-Wan listed.

“That is a fair chunk of time,” Menace admitted as started to open up and turn on the machinery around the room, as well as the data blockers for outside communications, just incase someone would try to butt in on the networks. “Can they avoid the Empire for that long? We don’t know which forces that the emperor has now or how quickly they will go after those they cannot get a hold of.”

“If they come across conflict, leave immediately,” Cin suggested as made his spot off to the side. “Getting too close to activated chips will active any clones they are around. But we did warn many jedi. The Empire Forces have to be fairly diminished if they understood those warnings. I can’t imagine the new government is completely on it’s feet yet.”

That was true. Even though the Republic had been slowly shifting into something less democratic over the course of the war, it was still a fairly big change, and a lot of things would have to be restructured. There was also the issue, for the Empire, of those who would fight back against its creation or not agree with it. That may buy them some time, he mused.

“But we do need to plan quick, because I’m sure it won’t be long before they are organized and mobilized enough to chase us,” Obi-Wan added, sitting down in one of the chairs next to Menace. In front of him was a little desk area. “If they haven’t realized that Kamino specifically isn’t responding because of this, they will figure it out soon.”

“How about we make a list?” Menace suggested, his gaze flickering between the two masters.

Obi-Wan nodded and his hand shuffled around the desk to find a data pad. Putting it in front of him, he grabbed a utensil and created a list.

“Alright, so first and foremost, the clones are chipped, proximity to activated chips activates others. Activation can also be verbal but only from the Sith. Block all communications available to clones,” Cin started quickly as Obi-Wan immediately wrote down the thoughts on the datapad.

“We can send Healer Che’s information on where the chips are as well, if anyone has the equipment or skills to start taking them out,” Obi-Wan added, the pencil flipping around his fingers to momentarily point at the battlemaster. They both nodded in response.

“Two; the Republic is gone, an Empire has rose. We are being hunted and killed as we are claimed to be traitors. Confine any officers loyal to the Empire until further notice,” Cin continued

“If you have inactivated clones, keep them away from conflict with others, due to the proximity thing,” Menace included, flicking on a few more nozzles and switches.

“If you are around activated clones, get away as quickly as possible, stay low or get away from them if you can,” Cin added, eyeing Menace, carefully. The clone’s presence filled up with a moment of quiet grief and disappointment.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan whispered, unable to meet his eyes.

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault sir,” Menace swallowed harshly but shook his head. “We can’t save anyone yet without a real plan.”

“Contact,” Cin started up again, a little hesitant to keep going as he looked between the two. “Contact will be reestablished within a couple of days, once we get to Kamino. If you have a long range holotable, use it, but keep your comm on you. There will be a coded message to indicate if communications come from us.”

They paused.

“I think…I think those are some good basics, hopefully they can survive until then,” Obi-Wan sighed, jotting down the last of the notes.

“Battle master Drallig and I can get these coded and sent out fairly quickly,” Menace said, gently taking the datapad from Obi-Wan’s hands.

“It’s a start,” he echoed.

***

“I believe it is about time we talk,” Padme said, her face flat with one hand rested on her stomach. Her greeting was desperate and although not exactly unkind, it wasn’t very patient either. Obi-Wan glanced around and let out a silent sigh. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation. One that he didn’t particularly want to have.

He had been working with the other masters and clones to figure out where to go and what to do next for some time. He knew this conversation was coming. He was just dreading it.

Obi-Wan just swallowed and nodded in defeat as he turned to face the pregnant woman. “Alright. But I think it would be best if we would keep this conversation rather private. The 501st survivors and much of the 212thhave been following me like ghosts and they certainly don’t need to hear this.”

Padme’s expression was something of confusion, but she consented, and they found themselves in Obi-Wan’s former office. It was still technically his office, he supposed, but others had been using it since the evacuation. One could tell by all the paperwork and things that cluttered it more than it already was, the things that he knew were not his or Cody’s. He locked the door behind them and let Padme sit on the cot in the corner. He dragged a chair over to her to sit himself, although he could not find a position that was comfortable.

“I suppose we can start with what happened with Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, a bit quietly. He did not want to talk about this right now, not at all. He wasn’t ready for this; he was hardly wrapping his own head around what had happened. His heart clenched harshly in his chest, and he was sure his throat would close up. Taking a shaking deep breath, he tried to continue to speak. “What, exactly, do you already know?”

“Ahsoka called me, telling me there was an attack on the Jedi Temple,” Padme confessed, shaking her head in disbelief. “She told me that Anakin had turned to the Dark Side, that he was killing younglings and leading brainwashed clones to kill everyone.”

Her tone was incredulous and unconvinced, not that Obi-Wan could exactly blame her. He was not even sure if he believed it, and he was there. It seemed impossible. He knew Anakin struggled with some of the jedi tenants, especially that of attachment, which Obi-Wan had tried to talk to him about, to reach out. But Anakin had been closing off more and more as of late. That didn’t mean he could have ever have seen this coming.

Perhaps he should have. Was he so blind?

“That…that would be accurate,” Obi-Wan choked out but did his best to keep his voice constant and steady with as much as patience as he could lacing it.

Padme stood up suddenly but then wavered and leaned against the wall for support. He leaned forward, ready to catch her if she should fall. She steadied herself and straightened her back to stare down at him. “That is absolutely ridiculous,” she announced with such confidence even he almost believed it. “And you know it, Obi-Wan! He is your friend, and he would never do such a thing; the Jedi…”

“If you start blaming my people while we are fleeing for our lives, please refrain,” his own voice continued to be soft but there was a steel bone underlaying it, that made no room for challenge.

“Anakin would never do such a thing,” Padme repeated firmly and shook her head. He closed himself off to her in the Force, he didn’t want to know what she was feeling. He wasn’t sure if he could handle her feelings along with his own. “He has been worried and stressed but that is only because of…”

“Because of what?”

“He’s been having nightmares…” she started slowly, eyeing Obi-Wan as if that would give her some insight, some answers on what was happening. “About me, dying in childbirth.”

“Nightmares,” Obi-Wan repeated numbly. “That is what he was so worked up about? He didn’t come to me or anyone else about them. And he knows how dangerous pregnancies are in this sort of situation. He should have known to talk to the healers about it.”

He should have talked to the healers. At least doctors, someone. Generally speaking, people didn’t just die in childbirth, not on Coruscant, certainly not a prominent senator. No one would ever deny her prenatal care, no matter who the father was.

Even if the father was a jedi.

“He was probably afraid,” Padme glanced away.

It was as if Anakin didn’t know anything of the Jedi at all. The Jedi would have never turned Padme away for pregnancy care or information, Force around, the Jedi wouldn’t turn anyone away who came to their steps in need of help with pregnancy. Force sensitive or not.

“We are getting off track,” Obi-Wan shook his head with a small sigh. He ran a hand through his hair. He just wanted… honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted. He supposed he wanted this to all be his own nightmare, one he could just wake up from. One where none of this was real. “Padme, I don’t know how to convince you of what Anakin has done,” he continued. “He led an attack to kill everyone in the Temple, he led an army of brainwashed clones. He murdered Temple Guards and younglings just trying to escape the battle. He fought mewith the intent to kill, rambling about the failings of the jedi,” Obi-Wan stressed, leaning forward. “Master Drallig said he called himself Darth Vader which let me tell you, is a Sith name. All I could feel in him was desperation and fury.”

“You’re wrong,” Padme insisted, her eyes blazing into something so passionate, it nearly hurt to look at. Her loyalty, although her perhaps commendable to an extent, was difficult to work with. Difficult when she wouldn’t believe the truth. He knew it was hard to swallow. He was still in that process. “He is good, there is good in him, of course there is. Something else must be at play.”

“Something else?” Obi-Wan asked, his own voice echoing confusion. He couldn’t imagine much else being at play, his former padawan, his brother, had intended on murdering everyone in the Temple, all those that thought he was their family. All those that thought he cared about them. He had nearly succeeded. If Cody’s chip hadn’t been activated when and where it was… Obi-Wan nearly shuddered at the prospect. He sighed and shook his head again. “I love Anakin. And even after all that he has done I still love him; I will always love him. But I am not blind to what he has become now. I was blind before, not seeing it; only seeing what I wanted to, the good person I thought he could be, the person I thought he was.”

“He is that good person,” she persisted with a sound not open for debate.

Obi-Wan was tired, even the several hours of last night’s sleep would not erase all of the time he had been awake, active, fighting for his life and the lives of those around him.

“Tell that to the younglings that he cut down in front of his former padawan,” Obi-Wan’s hand waved out in emphasis. He hated bringing Ahsoka into this but Padme cared about the young Togruta, probably nearly as much as Anakin used to as well. “Or the 501st troopers who were forced to lead an attack on the Temple, on the Jedi, against their own free will.”

The young woman just stared at him, and he knew that she didn’t believe him. He didn’t think she would ever actually believe him without seeing it for herself.

The fact that Anakin, of all people, would lead a forced brainwashed army to fight people they never would have in their right minds seemed ludicrous.

“Okay, we are at an impasse,” Obi-Wan slumped back a little in his chair. He took a commlink out of his pocket and let his fingers sweep over it, absentmindedly. “Perhaps a break from this line of conversation may be beneficial,” he said slowly, giving Padme the time to sit down on the cot once again. “I think…we need to also talk about your pregnancy,” Obi-Wan added slowly. Padme placed a hand on her belly, protectively.

“You mentioned…you mentioned I could die from this,” Padme replied slowly, her eyes meeting his in a massive flurry of concern and fear. The conversation was not over about Anakin but for now, for now what he had said would have to do. He didn’t know how much longer he could try to help her in that scenario. “So, Anakin was right, I’m going to die in childbirth.”

“It’s not that simple. There is a lot that is included,” Obi-Wan shook his head. How to explain something that he only knew the basics of? Perhaps a professional was best to be in order “Look. Let me call my friend Bant. She is a healer, and she will be able to answer most, if not all, of your questions.”

Without waiting for an answer, he sent his friend a message who near immediately contacted him back, relieved that he had found their wayward patient. Apparently, Padme was not supposed to be out of the medbay. Obi-Wan imagined they would want to monitor her, considering her pregnancy and situation. His comm beeped again.

“We’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

Obi-Wan didn’t know who the other side of the we was but at this point, he would take all the help he could get.

Those few minutes were the most awkward ones Obi-Wan could remember.

The Mon Calamari walked in with another healer trailed in behind her and Obi-Wan could not even help the sigh of relief. At last. “Hello Obi-Wan, senator,” Bant greeted, giving them both a nod, her large dark eyes brimming with sympathy and kindness. Obi-Wan would forever be baffled and astounded at the amount of love and compassion his friend could hold. “Senator, my name is Bant. I am a healer. This is Healer Jayden; she specializes in pregnancies.”

“You have special doctors for pregnancies in the jedi?” Padme asked, a little taken back.

“Of course,” the doctor nodded as Obi-Wan got up to give them both seats. He ended up standing off a little to the side, often finding himself leaning against the wall for support. “Believe it or not, the jedi are not celibate,” she pointed out, even though Padme’s glance looked a bit skeptic. “And although it isn’t extremely common, jedi can and do get pregnant.”

“They do?” Padme echoed.

“Of course. Force Sensitivity isn’t always passed down, but it is more likely if one or more of the parents have it,” Jayden explained, her voice smooth and calm. It could not be said that Jedi didn’t know when they were supposed to be healers. He could only imagine how determined they must be in such an art. “Pregnancies involving force sensitivity in general can be quite difficult, but we should really talk about your case specifically.”

“Is it…different?”

“I have been briefed on a few things,” Healer Jayden said, giving Bant a quick glance as if for confirmation. Obi-Wan wondered how much she had been told about the situation, about the father. “The father of your children is former Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, is it not?”

“Current Jedi Knight,” Padme corrected, her voice laced with bitter undertones and eyes narrowed. Something she had picked up from Anakin, he supposed. “Unless the Jedi have kicked him out for loving someone.”

“The Jedi do not typically, kick people out,” Bant continued, her voice just as relaxed and mellow. She was taking this very well. Obi-Wan nearly felt like shaking Anakin or someonewho should know better for all the things misinterpreted, deliberately or otherwise. “Not for loving anyone or getting people pregnant.”

“Yes,” Padme confirmed, her voice subdued. “He is the father.”

“Alright. So, the father has an incredibly high number of midiclorians in his body, which is how one can determine how force sensitive an individual is. He is a very high number, more than anyone else and is very, very strong in the Force,” Jayden explained, patiently. She spoke in chunks, probably to better allow Padme to follow what she was saying.

“What does that mean for the baby? That it will be force-sensitive?”

The healer nodded but her expression was a bit grave. “In your case, certainly. Because if they hadn’t, you would probably be dead already.”

And… Obi-Wan hadn’t expected her to be so blunt. Padme stared wide-eyed.

“Skywalker is so strong in the Force that it is killing you, not to mention the darkness that is practically permeating you,” the healer continued and although Obi-Wan could feel a tad of concern with it, she did not show it outright, rather keeping a cool presence of security. “The only reason that you are still alive and as strong as you are, currently, is because the two babies inside of you are also extremely force-sensitive and are keeping you alive. It is…very complex and seems a bit paradoxical, and difficult to explain when it comes to the specifics, as well as the ins and outs of what is happening in your body.”

“So, I will not survive this birth,” Padme realized.

“The odds are not fantastic,” Jayden replied truthfully with a small frown. “But the only way you can survive is with a Jedi Healer’s help. If you stayed on the planet, you would not have survived the birth and I doubt anyone would have understood why. But we can and we will help you, Padme,” she said, taking the woman’s hand gently, curling her partially translucent fingers around the younger senator’s. “You can trust us that we will do everything in our power to make sure that you survive to see your children grow up.”

“What are the odds?” Padme whispered, staring at her hands.

“It is difficult to say,” Jayden admitted, candidly. “We’ve never had a child from someone as powerful as Skywalker before. Best case scenario you will be out of commission, maybe even comatose, for some time while your body regenerates its strength.”

If it can, went unspoken.

With her free hand, Padme brought it up to cover her mouth, letting out a shaky breath, tears starting to slip down her cheeks.

“I think you could use some rest, senator,” Bant advised, speaking up for the first time. Although Healer Jayden did most of the talking, Obi-Wan was still grateful for his friend’s presence. “I think we have a small room near the medical bay that we can use for you,” she added and glanced at Obi-Wan. “Would you mind getting her there?”

He didn’t think, just nodded. With a second thought, he didn’t really want to, he didn’t want to talk with her right now. He was just so tired and there was much to do but he knew it was right. Walking over, he helped Padme up and walked her out of the door. He led her through the halls towards the medical bay, appreciative for the silence.

He didn’t need an argument right now.

As they got to the small room, he unlocked and opened the door. “I will have some of my handmaidens come and bring things from the ship,” she whispered.

He hadn’t realized that she had brought anyone. Oh, he hoped she hadn’t brought Jar Jar. He didn’t mind the Gungan, almost liked him really, but he had a tendency to get into trouble and that was the last thing they needed.

He was about to leave when she pulled him back to look at her. “There is good in Anakin, Obi-Wan,” she announced, although her voice stayed rather quiet, just firm. “You must see it. And I will prove it to you,” her tone reflected her eyes, something fiery and passionate.

This was always going to be a tragedy, he realized suddenly.

There was very little he could say to that. He didn’t believe her but then again, he was trying hard not to think of Anakin right now. His thoughts were dominated with the survival of his people, both jedi and clone.

He had to put them first.

“Okay,” he croaked.

And then whisked himself away as quickly as he could without making it seem like he was literally running from her.

He was entirely exhausted.

The talk with Padme had last longer than he had anticipated and honestly, all he wanted was to sleep. Could he though? How much was there left to do? Then again, at this point, he wasn’t sure if there was anything specifically, he could do, aside from perhaps trying to research? Maybe?

His brain just felt full. He wasn’t entirely sure if he would be of any help.

“There you are sir,” the familiar voice and tonal individuality of Boil registered to Obi-Wan’s ears nearly a beat too late. He turned to see the clone walking up to him, a small youngling on arm.

Waxer was the one who was outspoken about loving little ones but anyone who knew anything about Boil knew he loved being around them just as much.

The thought made Obi-Wan smile and his chest warm.

Presence of people that he cared about, that perhaps cared about him, ones that he didn’t constantly have to fight tooth and nail with, were something of a relief. Just a presence to fall into that wasn’t consistently looking for lies or secrets or to tear his head off.

“How are you, Boil?” he asked, trying for a smile.

It must not have worked very well because the clone gave him an odd glance but, in the end, he just shrugged. “I’m alright, just taking this young’in to the modified creche,” he explained, gesturing to the young jedi child on his hip. “He accidently got lost and I’m bringing him back before my allotted hours of sleep.”

“Allotted hours?”

How late was it?

“Sir, it’s quite late,” Boil pointed out, answering his unasked question for him, and gesturing lightly for the general to follow. He did so without pause or thought. It was interesting, he believed, how easily and unthinkingly he would follow them. Perhaps it was foolishness but perhaps it was just trust and faith. He was in a rather short supply of that these past few days. “The daytime officers and workers are getting ready for sleep. The Jedi are hunkering down in the creche places and barracks along with the children and troopers. I never realized how cuddly Jedi could be when they sleep together,” he added with a bit of a half laugh.

The child laughed alongside with him, although a bit louder and fuller.

“We slept in piles a lot,” Obi-Wan replied.

“We like to do that too,” Boil shrugged to keep a hold on the little one hanging from him. “It’s good that your sleeping arrangements are around the men, it’s good for morale, especially at a time like this. Everyone is a little freaked out, I think it helps there is someone they can trust around during those times.”

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. Who taught Boil manipulation tactics?

He paused, nearly tripping at the realization.

Oh right. Hedid.

Accidently, of course. It wasn’t like Obi-Wan was giving lectures or classes on how to manipulate or negotiate yourself out of situations. But still, his behavior would be seeming to be biting him in the butt now, as his troopers were now using it against him.

Part of him almost felt impressed.

“Right,” Obi-Wan muttered.

The child hanging off of Boil, giggled knowingly. As the two of them dropped the child off at one of the places set aside for the children, Boil offered to escort him to the barracks for sleep. Obi-Wan tried to back out of it but Boil was rather adamant and then….

And then Rex showed up.

And Obi-Wan knew he was completely was doomed.

He couldn’t say no to Rex right now, not with what his troops had gone through.

“Hello, general,” Rex greeted with a bit of a wavering smile. He was trying hard. Obi-Wan suspected he had spent most of his day with the survivors of the 501st. He knew it wasn’t pretty and they were trying very hard to make sense of what had happened to them. “People have been wondering where you have been.”

“Is that so?” Obi-Wan hummed in response.

“Yes, the 501stsurvivors have been curious to know if you are coming back tonight,” he added in, thinking himself rather sly. Survivors; wasn’t that what they all were now. Survivors of a genocide, survivors of brainwashed slavery, survivors of being unmade into a vacant body.

“As a matter of fact, Boil was just escorting me to the barracks,” Obi-Wan shot back. He kept falling into this trap, he knew it. But at least this time he would not be caught floundering like the day before. “It has been quite the day, full of… colorful conversations.”

“Oh? Who did you talk to?”

“I had to have to talk about Senator Amidala and her pregnancy.”

Obi-Wan could practically just feel Rex’s stomach drop. “You…you know about that sir?”

“I probably knew about it before you did,” he muttered under his breath. As if Anakin could keep a secret like that from him, as if Padme could. Any Jedi that came across her would have known; would have sensed her pregnancy. He, of course, was the one who knew it was Anakin’s child because honestly, who’s else could it have been. But louder, instead he tried, “Yes. I’ve known about Anakin and Padme for quite some time. It is not difficult to sense her pregnancy. I do not know why Anakin thought he was being subtle or discreet. And you, captain, well, I think you could work on your acting skills a little.”

The captain just blushed hard. “My apologies sir.”

“No worries. It hardly matters,” Obi-Wan shrugged. “But talking with her, about what we had to, was rather exhausting and I will, quite frankly, be a bit glad to get some rest before the next day comes about. Because soon, we will be at Kamino and a whole new situation will arise.”

“We don’t know how much time it will be before the Empire comes after us,” Boil realized with a deep frown.

“So, we should get as much rest as we can until then,” Obi-Wan nodded at the two of them as they neared the barracks. “Because who knows how much real rest we will get once the new conflicts arise.”

***

It was the middle of the night when he had heard it.

Obi-Wan had been stuck in the near middle of a pile once again, surrounded on all sides by mostly clone troopers, the main force being the de-chipped 212th and the 501st survivors, with a few others they had rescued within the Temple before and during the siege. He could make out Inkspot somewhere, leaning against Trapper and Gearshift.

Many of the survivors, mostly those of the 501st specifically, had horrible nightmares, even so soon after the events. He couldn’t blame them; it was a horrible ordeal they had gone through. He tried to shield them the best he could, to help them sleep with less nightmares. He did his best. He didn’t dare take a look into what they contained, he feared they would just feed into his own.

For some reason or another, the scratching woke him up.

Shifting his body up carefully so he wouldn’t awake the troopers surrounding him, he glanced around at the barracks for the sound. No way he was just hearing it in his mind.

There. Some movement in the corner.

Carefully he cleared himself of snuggling troopers and got up.

Obi-Wan moved through the bodies, making his way to the edge of the pile of clone troopers until he found one of the 501st in the corner, frantically trying to scrub his armor. Not just his armor, the jedi realized, but the blue paint off of it. And there was quite a bit of it.

The trooper nearly jumped feet in the air when he realized Obi-Wan had sat next to him, his eyes wide in fear and panic.

“At ease,” he assured quietly but it did very little to ease the trooper’s anxiety. Obi-Wan reached out into the Force towards his presence.

Calmpeacesafe

It helped more than words had.

“Are you alright, Graffiti?”

The trooper looked at him, a little surprised. “You…know who I am? Y-You remember?”

Obi-Wan nodded. “Yes. Would you like to tell me what is going on?” he asked gently.

The trooper swallowed, staring down at his armor before tearing his eyes away. He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes on it for more than a moment.

“Everyone has nightmares, it is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I do, sometimes,” Graffiti admitted, hesitant with his voice choked on tears. “It’s not even the fighting or the war or anything. I just see blank faces, marching blue, so much blue. People…people always think when terrible things happen, when blood is shed, everything is in a haze of red because blood is red. But for me…for me it was a haze of blue. Not just any blue. The 501st blue. It’s…its supposed to be something proud of, a color we should be proud of.”

Obi-Wan just waited patiently.

“I woke up shaking this morning,” he continued, his voice quivering with tears already accumulating in his eyes as he shoved the piece of armor that was in his arms away. “It was so bad I couldn’t even put my armor on. One of my brothers had to do it for me. But even then, I…. I felt so awful. I kept making excuses to go to the head and then my brothers kept making excuses for me, just in case.”

“You do not have to wear it if you do not wish to,” Obi-Wan replied gently. “Things, I imagine, are going to be different now.”

“It’s…it’s not the armor itself,” he confessed, staring down at the piece that he was holding. “I don’t think it is the armor. It’s…it’s the color,” he looked confused when he glanced at the jedi, as if he wasn’t entirely sure why he was saying this or even the reasoning behind it. “Every time I see it, I keep getting sick. I keep remembering when we were marching towards the Temple, all the blue of the amor, creating a sea of soldiers, all in time and not even…not even hesitating on what we were going to do.”

“You couldn’t move.”

“I couldn’t even think until afterwards,” Graffiti admitted the quiver in his voice growing. “I just wanted to scream. Even after we got into the Temple, I remember everything but…it’s all in this horrible blue haze that I choke on. Something I was once proud to bear, a color that I was proud of, was twisted into something horrible and evil. I know it doesn’t make any sense but…”

“Sometimes things like this don’t make sense to others or even ourselves,” Obi-Wan’s voice was quiet and calm as he looked over at the trooper. The latter had a difficult time meeting his gaze, but he finally had, tears welled up in his eyes, certainly obscuring his vision.

“I think I would rather have no paint, just be a blank set of armor like a no-name shiny again before I wear something that has been so twisted,” he whispered, running a hand along his helmet, half scrubbed of blue paint. “And isn’t that awful? I was brainwashed into being no one and now, I want to go back to being a no one again, just…slightly different type of no one.”

The jedi’s heart shuttered in his chest.

“Would you mind waiting here for a moment?” he asked, placing a hand gently on the soldier’s shoulder. “I will be right back. I think…I think I have something.”

Graffiti looked quite confused but nodded.

Obi-Wan stood up and made his way through the maze of people, towards the door. As he got to the halls, his pace quickened. There weren’t particularly many people around, but a few had caught him gliding through the halls quickly, often giving him looks that made him want to shrink back into the pile in the barracks.

Some did not seem happy to see him out and about.

He got to a storage room and opened the door. Upon finding what he was looking for, he grabbed it and hurried back. Obi-Wan came back, worked his way through the maze of sleeping men again, and set down a large can on the ground as quietly as he could. The trooper just stared at it, wide-eyed, a bit confused and certainly a lot speechless.

“It’s yours, if you want it.”

Graffiti took a moment to realize what it was. At first, he didn’t look entirely sure, like it might be a trap, but it took only a minute before he burst into a quiet sob, covering his face with his hands.

“It may not stop the nightmares,” Obi-Wan explained quietly. “But know that you will always have a place with us.”

Eventually, when he got a little more control of himself, Obi-Wan could make out a nod from him.

“I think I might need something new,” Graffiti rasped out, just barely.

“Perhaps you should make a visit to one of the creche groups,” Obi-Wan offered, shooting him a quick, warm, glance. “They are full of ideas. And they would love to see you.”

Graffiti met his gaze, his eyebrows scrunched together. He didn’t verbally reply but the jedi master had a feeling he would anyways.

Obi-Wan spent the rest of the night with him, quietly scrubbing off the blue paint and replacing it with shimmering gold.

[kanasmusings]

[F.A.Q.] Engeki Haikyuu Subtitles

Hello~! First of all, I’m so glad to know that everyone is enjoying all the Engeki Haikyuu subtitles that I’ve posted and that you’re all looking forward to more~!  A huge thank you to all of you who have messaged me words of encouragement and gratitude for all the projects! I really appreciate all of them and the fandom and I’m just glad to have been able to contribute~!  ＼(＾▽＾)／

But since I keep getting the same DMs and asks about a lot of stuff regarding the subs, I decided to make this FAQ.  I unfortunately don’t have the time to answer all anon asks and DMs about the subs, so please do check this FAQ first before asking me anything, thank you! 

I’ll reblog this every now and then so it doesn’t get buried under the other posts I make! FAQ under the cut ^^

1.) The file won’t open. | What program do I need to open a .ass file? 

--> I’ve mentioned this again and again, but the file I’m sharing are only the softsubs! That means, the video is not included in them. In order to be able to watch the play with subtitles, you need to have both the subtitles (the ones I post) and the video itself. 

2.) Where can I get the videos? | Do you know who is sharing the videos? | Where can I download?

 --> If you can’t get enough of the videos and want to see more, especially the backstage, the Engeki Haikyuu DVD/BDs are all available to order here. The site ships internationally, so by all means, feel free to order if you can ^^ 

Here’s a guide for first-time buyers~

3.) I have the video, how do I load the subs? | How do I play the subs? 

--> If you are using VLC, here’s a tutorial for how to play the video with subs. --> If you are using DAUM PotPlayer, here’s a tutorial. --> If you are using a Mac computer, here are various media players you can check out to try and play the videos. But from what I’ve been told, VLC works best! I unfortunately don’t know the differences between Mac and Windows players, so I can’t help with this too much if there are problems ^^;

--> For those who are downloading on mobile, MXPlayer works pretty great! It’s what I use and it’s easy to play videos and add subtitles to them. Free version may have ads, but it works pretty great! If you can, you can pay once to get the full version just for smoother playing. NOTE: There may be lags/unsyncing with the subs depending on your phone.

4.) The link isn’t working, can you re-upload them? | I can’t access the link anymore, will you re-upload?

--> Yes, I will re-upload anything that gets taken down! Just tell me which subtitle you’re looking for or which link isn’t working so I can update them on the masterpost ^^

5.) Do you have subtitles for “Start of a Giant”? | Are you working on “Start of a Giant”?

--> Yes, I still am. However, I have other priority projects, plus commissions, and real life + quarantine that keep me busy, so they are progressing really slow right now. I am grateful that you are very patient with me on this one though! 

6.) I recently got into Engeki Haikyuu and found the first two plays, do you have subs for them? | Do you have subs for “Itadaki no Keshiki”? 

--> No, I have not worked on “Itadaki no Keshiki” or its re-run. When it was first uploaded, it came subbed by the one who shared the original video, so I cannot help you with that. I also do not have subs for the “Karasuno, Revival!!” curtain calls because from what I remember, there’s already someone on Tumblr who has worked on them. 

--> I only started working on Engeki Haikyuu starting from “Karasuno, Revival!” until “The Strongest Challengers” which I am currently finishing.

7.) Can I re-translate your subtitles into [insert language here]? 

--> Yes!! Feel free to re-translate them~! The more people who know and support Engeki Haikyuu, the better! I just ask that you please keep my credit in the subs as the original English translator and uploader, thank you! 

--> If you post the re-translated subs on Tumblr, feel free to just tag me ^^

8.) What are all the subs you’ve worked on? | How many Haikyuu plays have subs? | Is there a masterpost?

--> Yes~! I’ve made a masterpost of all the Haikyuu!! content that I’ve worked on before~! 

--> The masterpost is here for those who couldn’t find them ^^

STEP BY STEP GUIDE ON HOW TO PLAY THE SUBTITLES:

1.) Download video (Read #2 about where to get it.)

2.) Download subs (In the masterpost at # 8)

3.) Play video and then load subs (Refer to #3 for how to load them on your media player.)

※ I’m really grateful for all the patience you have with me regarding these subs, and I felt a bit bad that I couldn’t answer all your questions individually >< Hopefully, this FAQ will help out a bit! 

※ If there’s still something unclear and something I have not addressed in the FAQ, please DM me ^^ I’ll try my best to help, if ever!

※ If you enjoyed my work so far, please consider buying me a coffee here, if you can. It’ll really help me out a lot.(o^▽^o) Thank you!!