#but if u want any like. clarification feel free to ask me abt it

[mosstalon4]

grian wing headcanons? dont mind if i do!

long post under cut

grian, when the watchers first "gave" him (forced upon him) his wings, they gave him wings of clay. they did this on pirpose, but told grian otherwise. they said it was his fault, that his greed was still within him, and that as long as his wings reflected this, he would never be a true watcher.

when grian left the watchers, and joined hermitcraft season 6, his wings changed, as he was no longer in his watcher "form". despite this, his core being (and code) had still changed, and his (formerly) human form now had wings (as well as some other "watcher" traits.

at the beginning of s6, grian's wings were mostly white, but to them still clung the odd, cold, uncomfortable, and not-quite-real purple of the watchers' influence. (many mistook the color of the purple-gray of a standard enchanted elytra, an assumption that grian leaned into.)

as s6 progressed, the purple slowly began to fade, his wings warming into a full, rich, and healthy white. (at one point, they almost looked like sun-kissed sand.)

during the a77 vs hippies arc, grian's wings darkened somewhat into a mossy stone gray, with flowers and mushrooms growing in them.

in s7, grian's wings became almost like the stereotypical parrot wings he is frequently drawn with, but with red, yellow, and green feathers, and no blue.

during the mycelium resistance arc, those colors faded, overtaken by odd, gray-purple fungus. when the resistance was over, his "parrot" colors returned.

he kept the false parrot coloration in 3rd life, although his wings were too small to actually use, especially without elytra. as he lost his lives, his wings lost color, going from red-yellow-green, to red-yellow, to pure red. when he died, although his body wasn't there for long before the world began to reset, sending him and all the other contestants home, his wings faded into a dull, lifeless gray. not the gray of stone, not even really the gray of death, but rather the gray of unlife.

s8, grian's wings returned, at first, to their not-parrot coloration. as boatem progressed, his wings darkened to match the dragon egg, the void, and the star-speckled skies, that of the server and of midnight alley.

as the moon grew closer, grian's wings brightened menacingly, a pale glow overtaking the speckling of stars and the dark purple-blue of of the space between. when grian jumped into the boatem hole with his friends, his wings had been entirely eclipsed with the moon's light.

s9. the light of the moon softened and warmed, back to a almost neutral, sun-kissed sand white. until he discovered/built the Entity, and they darkened into an odd stone-flesh gray, once again growing moss, among other things. like this, at least while on the hermitcraft server, his wings have remained.

during his time on empires, grian's wings returned to their not-parrot coloring, but seemed to shimmer with golden sunlight.

grian's wings in his "watcher" form, should he ever return to it, have remained clay all this time.

[tapejob]

help im from twitter and idk what im doing. how does hockey tumblr work

so you just fled hockeytwt - what now?

hey anon, welcome to hockeyblr! we're imo one of the best communities on tumblr and we're so glad to have you. hopefully you'll enjoy your stay :)

some general tumblr things to note:

as you probably know, tumblr doesn't run on an algorithm

any content depends primarily on what blogs you follow + occasionally what tags you follow (less reliable. your main source will be by blogs)

tags serve mainly as an organizational/content marker, as well as for filtering purposes. tagging #fyp to get your content out there does nothing

to send an ask, click on the button beside the follow/following button on the user's blog - some people rename the 'ask' to some other things, which may make it hard to find

we are the faceless app. pls customize your blog a little so it doesn't look like you're a bot but do not feel pressured to reveal names/face/age/pronouns whatever

once again, the only way content is found is through reblogs. reblog things that u think are neat, no additions required :)

re filtering: you can block terms/tags/content you don't want to see on your dash (e.g. 'tw sexual assault'). here's a better post to explain trigger warning/tagging etiquette

ok onto general hockeyblr:

to follow tags, go into the search bar and type out #[tag] and click the blue follow button on the right. your basic starter pack of tags to follow in hockeyblr: #hockey, #nhl, etc.

but that's lame. and you're probably not gonna get any of the juicy stuff

following your team/the teams you are tangentially interested in and their popular player tags are often a good way to start breaking into the community (e.g. #pittsburgh penguins, #sidney crosby)

follow cool hockeyblr ppl! u can find ppl in your team spheres through the tags i mentioned above. there was also a hockeyblr directory made a while back (og masterlist is down but shoot me a message and i can get you some specific team lists. don't be afraid to ask ppl for recs too)

reblog, like, etc. esp with content creators/gifsets/etc. engagement does the heart good

wtf is liveblogging:

lots of users liveblog and post commentary during games!

you can find these posts in the lb tags, which vary by team and are sort of collectively known (e.g. #pens lb for pittsburgh)

some tags are a little less intuitive: #nyr lb or #rangers lb are both used for the rangers iirc, #bolts lb or #tbl lb have both been used for tampa - feel free to shoot me an ask/msg if you have trouble lol

big events, such as the playoffs, worlds, the all star game, etc may have their own special tags (e.g. #scp lb, #worlds lb, #asg lb, #team germany lb, etc). you'll figure it out as you go! and don't be afraid to ask for clarification

tagging your liveblogs are pretty important since:

it's fun to liveblog with a bunch of people on your silly little gang of guys! helps u find friends to follow, and

people who follow the opposing team might want to filter out your commentary (more info below)

ouch, yikes. i don't want to see that (aka, filtering/blocking)

coming back to filtering, the nice thing abt tumblr is that u can filter out whatever tags/blogs/keywords you don't want to see on your dash

go to your blog settings to live peacefully and with prosperity

you can filter out team tags/liveblogs/players, anything you want. in fact, u are encouraged bc not feeling extreme rage over some picture on the dash of the team that knocked your team out of the scp does the body good

filtered posts don't disappear entirely from the dash (in case u have fomo), but when a blog u follow posts about something in that tag, you will see a blurred post with the tags you filtered, as well as an option to view the post

(looks like this)

some users also have specific tags that they may have created for organizational purposes and to help you block specific content (e.g. #nhl trade rumors are my personal tag for, you guessed it, trade rumors. some ppl don't wanna hear that, so easy tagging for filter)

on that note: filter and move on. don't go into opposing team tags/liveblogs and talk shit or stir up shit. you will be blocked by. a significant amount of people. play nice y'all, it's hockey

rpf/fic

not really my area of expertise on tumblr, but there's a pretty big rpf/fic community on hockeyblr. follow or block as you need!

player relationship tags are a good place to look for content (e.g. #sidgeno, #8771)

use the :readmore: function on tumblr liberally if you're posting fics - full player fics in the player tags can suck to scroll through for an outside user

once again, don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. best of luck navigating hockeyblr, you're sure to have a blast!

[l0vem41l]

[ MASTERLIST PENDING ]

— ✉️ you've got mail !

* open it ?

hiii welcome 2 my new blog!! :D

i'm valentine, i use she/he/it prns and this is my second blog!!! my first one @valentine-writes was a side acc which meant i wasn't abt 2 make mutuals <//3

BUT THAT HAS CHANGED NOW!! (´▽`ʃƪ)

scroll down for important things 2 know, rules, tags, and other info!

— TAGS !

[ TAG: #the mailbox ] - access to all my masterlists available!

[ TAG: #valentine's rambles ] - i ramble abt stuff :p

[ TAG: #val's recs 💌 ] - rb'd posts that i like vv much

– WILL NOT DO !

nsfw/smut (req = block), gore, heavily triggering topics (this is vague, so dwbi if u need some clarification! u can ask if ur ever unsure abt ur req), incest, pedophilia, kink/fetish content

– WILL DO !

x reader, romantic relationships, platonic relationships, general headcanons, specific gendered reader insert (gn by default if not stated), fluff, comfort, mild angst, drabbles

– MSG TO DOUBLE CHECK !

heavier angst, major character death

– SOURCES + FANDOMS !

video games + visual novels

> the arcana, call of duty modern warfare (remakes)

movies + tv shows

> moon knight, into/across the spiderverse

multi media franchises

> dc comics, marvel comics (specifically x-men and deadpool)

might write for (decision pending)...

> fnaf security breach, the stanley parable

[ LOVE LETTERS FOR... ]

taglist empty :(

to be added, msg w/ ur @ and character(s) u want to be tagged for!

– OTHER INFO !

any dividers that arent just my plain blue line are made by @cafekitsune !! all credz go to them for those super cute ones ^_^

i can and will refuse/delete requests i'm uncomfortable with writing!

if you have any reqs you don't think made it, feel free to touch base w/ me and i'll let you know my progress w/ it or if it got discarded

i'm a sfw blog and strictly sfw! while i don't interact with nsfw accounts, i don't care if you're an nsfw blog interact w/ me

keep everything non-explicit in msgs, asks, and reqs and it'll be fine (*^▽^*)

there are certain characters i tend not to write x reader for, just ask if you're uncertain!

sources/fandoms with "✩" beside it means those r the ones i am more focused on atm!!

[the1975attheirverybest]

i think there is some misconception abt the request/blurbs thing, since u turned some blurbs/concepts into a bit longer stuff... which i rlly love, but it also is a choice that is completely up to u! you write bc it's something u like to do and we are just here to enjoy your stuff and cheer u on. pls don't feel pressured to write anything u don't 100% feel <3 ~🦦

Okay, that’s a good point! Perhaps there’s been a confusion/ lack of clarification on my part. Concepts and blurbs are things that I can answer on the spot. They mostly look like “what would Matty do if X” or “Matty and gf are in this or that scenario how do we think it would go” etc. or, like, a quick, just one-scene. A few lines of dialogue, etc. something that doesn’t require me coming up with a plot, sitting down to write a full story, edit, etc. so, blurbs and concepts are totally fine to send in whenever you want. Requests for full one-shots are closed. In that, I won’t write them right away. Cuz of work and school. You can still send them in. They’ll go on my list which I will make my way through once my work and school deadlines are met.

Hopefully that clears things up? If y’all have any questions feel free to ask!

[latinozevran-archive]

do you have any book recs? im on archive dot org and have farewell to my concubine on my loans. just enamored by how you talk about the things you like and want to get absorbed in something too

oh this is so sweet hello 😭 i wish i had book recs unfortunately i hardly ever read outside of school this just possessed me i do love reading whenever i actually get around to it tho... society if i could give you real book recommendations. one day. i do have a couple particular books i am overly emotionally attached to but i have never rly talked abt those here AKDJFJFJ idk if i would propose them as official recs tho so feel free to dm and ask at your own risk

as far as this goes i do wanna say farewell my concubine does deal with some pretty heavy topics which for me is less upsetting in book form w/o visuals but u know read at your own discretion & if u would like any clarification lmk. if u would like the full ori media experience of the past few weeks though: watched farewell my concubine -> read the book -> watched this documentary by openly gay director stanley kwan abt 20th century gay chinese cinema (which i would recommend to anyone) -> found out thru that about a predecessor of sorts to farewell my concubine, a movie from the 60s called two stage sisters/舞���姐妹, which is about the relationship between two female opera singers with fairly heavy gay subtext. there have been a few other movies mixed in there in this spiral but they are less directly related another thing where if youre curious feel free to ask akdjfjfj i think it also should go with the disclaimer part of why this made me so crazy was realizing that haruko kumota clearly clearly heavily drew from various parts of farewell my concubine for famed obsession on this blog shouwa genroku rakugo shinjuu lmao so u know. all tied together i am predictable.

but wrt book rec letdowns if u are curious for any other kinds of recommendations for things that make me crazy well <3 i am here. again this was very sweet live to enamor etc glad 2 hear it & if u ever would like to dm about anything i love to discuss these things but that much is probably apparent AKDJGJGN

[natsuoslove]

ᥫ᭡ tags + roleplay info‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ➷ AGELESS BLOGS DNI !!

!! please don’t send me creepy msgs or gross pics pls and thank you! !!

#📷 = manga #🖍 = webcomics

#🎥 = anime #📸 = real people

#🎨 = art #🐶 = hybrid stuff

#❣️ = favorites #🤍 = my posts/non-rp asks

#monsters = monsters #gen = non fandom art

#etc = etc/text #hq!! #bnha #jjk

↳ more intense warnings will be tagged as “#tw _____”

#💌.rp = roleplay w charanons

dont be afraid to introduce yourself as a mod! let me know what you’d like to be called, preferred pronouns, and your age. i love u just as much as the characters <3

hi i’m sophie, i’m bi, a sub leaning switch, not a brat, definitely a masochist, and i love being a good girl 🤍

nsfw or sfw interactions are okay!

charanons i am very lucky to already have:

bakugou 🧡

i’m always open to others! hq!! or bnha, male or female characters, just hop in my inbox :o

if kageyama, bokuto, hinata, kita, iwaizumi, natsuo, dabi, or kirishima wanted to stop by though... i’d be very happy 🤍

no need to visit, please and thank you: mineta, overhaul/kai chisaki, shoto todoroki </3

safeword is vanish + feel free to use the stoplight system (green = go, yellow = slow down, red = stop) for check ins/an alternative! i want both of us to be comfortable 🤍

— asterisks below mean exceptions / clarifications !

things to avoid: me domming, scat, vomit, heavy bondage/restraints, hard orgasm denial, somnophilia, use of the word “cunny”, feet, race play, age play/regression, hard noncon*, hard degradation with no praise**, pregnancy/kids***

* dubcon is okay! but ask about cnc!

** slut/whore/bitch/etc is okay in moderation! just dont be too mean hsjxndn

*** talking abt knocking me up/breeding/“making me a mom/mommy”/etc is okay, i just have no interest in it past that!

things i love: breeding, spit, praise, soft loving doms, pet names, possessiveness, hybrids/monsters, impact play, size difference, dumbification, overstimulation, marking

things to ask about before moving forward: daddy/mommy kink, incest/stepcest, piss, cnc, anal

any questions? feel free to ask! i’m open to a lot of things :p

p.s. call me puppy, princess, or angel and i’m yours 🤍

[dyketubbo]

intro post (cleaned up a bit.. again!)

basic summary: my name is dyke/eyez/circus/mask/whatever you wanna call me, im a minor, im nd and a qpoc, i use any pronouns but he/him (and dont like masc terms, including bro, dude, guy, lad, stuff like that), and im apart of a system.

dni if youre against any kind of minority (includes racists, terfs, truscum, queer exclus of any kind [yes, even mspec lesbian exlus], etc etc), support ccs like schlatt uncritcally/actively like him, are nsfw, ship irl ppl (even ones that are okay with it), do x reader stuff with ccs, truth ccs at all, believe fiction doesnt effect reality/are a pro shipper/anti anti, or dont tag triggering things like zoophilia n stuff. dont be romantic or sexual towards me at all, and dont talk about touching me w/o asking. also dont interact if youre fine with those kind of ppl and actively interact w them (only exception to that last one is if you interact w ppl who like cc!schlatt, idc about that as much as long as theyre critical of him)

i like benchtrio the most but keep up w/ everyone best i can and like analyzing and drawing. im really sensitive and kind of an asshole so. bare w/ me if i lash out or am too much or something.

currently we have small intros of us per member on a page (/systemstuff) but dyke n grass will talk the most (mostly dyke). ty for reading, i hope you have a nice day and if its late for you, feel free to go get some rest. if its daytime, go eat!! or hydrate if you havent.

follows/likes and stuff will come from @/cottonskittles, reblog/like spam is ok, i dont care how people interact w me or my posts as long as they dont breach my boundaries, i think thats it but feel free to ask questions if u need clarification. more stuff under da cut

hi howdy just some more in depth stuff

im bad w tone so like. if you make fun of tone indicators or think theyre unnecessary/annoying (unless talking about excessive use/people using them as an excuse to be mean n stuff) probably dont interact w me because while i can interpret messages w/o them my own tone is often unreadable so i use them for the sake of others

story wise wise i usually look for benchtrio stuff, but i also try to keep up with everyones lore! theyre all important to the story in some way :]. however due to the themes surrounding them c!dream and c!schlatt make me uncomfy, and i only receive secondhand info abt the torture stuff bc its uncomfy too. also im personally critical of c!techno and i know that esp bothers a lot of ppl so yknow. warning to stay away this blog might piss you off

dni wise dont be a bigot. if youre against minorities of any kind fuck off, dont follow if youre nsfw or make nsfw content of childrens media, uhmm for personal sake regarding themes on the dsmp remember to like. tag cult stuff, drug use (esp underage), zoophilia, pda, and cannibalism if ur gonna follow me. tyyy. also dont follow if ur uncritical of some of the things various ccs involved have done (this is vague bc i know theres misinformation on dream and techno specifically but theres still shit thats actually been done and of course uh. the whole schlatt situations), and generally dont follow if you outright like cc!schlatt (c!schlatt likers r fine). like im not gonna make a big deal out of it but i will at the very least softblock because he makes me. really uncomfortable. you can interact n stuff just dont follow. dont interact if you use the new pan flag its gross and ugly and i dont agree with why it was made. and dni if youre a pro shipper (even if its to cope- find better coping mechanism thanks im a survivor and it makes me relapse to even think about pro shipping, actively romanticizing pedophilia, incest, age gaps, etc in media and then pretending like its just shipping discourse is Fucking Disgusting and i hate it), and dni if you like genderbend stuff it makes me uncomfy

also this is specific but if youre nonblack and weird about aave i will fucking murder you. n if you make suicide jokes please at least tag them. if you tell people to seriously kill themselves or joke abt "do a flip" or w/e or find that funny then dont interact w me at all

non dni wise w/ boundaries dont use masc terms for me, dont like.. talk about kissing me or flirting with me or anything, dont call me smart or a good person (just a personal thing. you can use synonyms if you really want), ask before talking about touching me, i have mirror touch so when people describe physical touch in any way i can feel it and thats uncomfortable. dont call me a liar, anddd dont make too many sexual references w/ me. keep it to the level thats like, present in beeduo streams but dont talk to me about kinks or anything even as a joke. finally make sure to tag things w /p if you mean it platonically around me, its for comforts sake. feel free to talk or message or ask for other socials or whatever idc about any of that

thatsss all for now. i do analyses ig, also art. have a doodle of my sona to tide u over under this paragraph. sorry for rambling, im not good at summarizing my thoughts and i have a lot to say. ok thats all thank you if you got this far and read it all i rlly appreciate you /gen. i was milfsmp but i didnt want to take the chance that someone would call me milf as a nickname

[parcai]

hi i don’t even watch shadow and bone but black people have already pointed out to stop bringing us up when talking abt racism that effects other poc “you know who does experience racism in the show?” why do you have to say any of that when u can just start of by talking abt anti asian racism

hello! no i'm not ignoring you lol, i just wanted to look at my post first to remember what i said.

i will firstly say that i never did actually phrase it the way you have in quotes. i do think that changes the tone a bit, but that's a minor point, as i can see how my original version can seem aggressive/accusatory as well.

the main reason i briefly mentioned jesper is because he's the other prominent person of color, and i made a very bold statement by saying that s&b’s theme of racism only applied to asian characters. for an ask regarding just racism overall, i didn’t want people to get the idea that i’m saying only the asian characters are the important poc or that i’m ignoring other races’ issues, but instead i wanted to clarify that s&b simply chose not to focus on trauma of other races, and furthermore i wanted to clarify that this isn’t a bad thing, that jesper should not be required to have a traumatic race-based backstory. in no way was this meant to compare the importance or relevance of racism between any minority groups, and in fact, that’s the point i was trying to make, that there should be no comparison of the struggles of various races.

i do think not separating that paragraph into two could have led to a misinterpretation, now that you’ve expressed your concern, as the piece i’m talking about with the model minority myth afterward had no relevance to my mention of jesper whatsoever (the transition word “furthermore” refers to “it’s asian-specific”), and i will have split that paragraph up, reordered some sentences, and added a few clarification words after answering this ask to appropriately reflect that they are two separate, unrelated thoughts. (i have attached the revised edition of the first paragraphs to the bottom of this post for your convenience).

regardless of my intentions though, i do see that it may have caused you hurt and/or harmed someone else if the idea i was trying to convey didn’t come across exactly as i wanted it. for that, i do sincerely apologize. poc were never meant to be pitted against one another, and while fiction is a small portion of the conversation about racism, fiction and discussing fiction can have real world repercussions, and i fully accept responsibility for that. i hope this clears up any misunderstanding we may have had, and feel free to let me know if you aren’t satisfied with this answer/would like to discuss this further. :) /genuine ← bc the smiley face comes across as fake for unknown reasons lol.

clarified first 2 paragraphs:

shadow and bone’s racism themes revolve entirely around anti asian racism. this point is not made to detract from the trauma of other races, but it is simply meant to point out that shadow and bone made the active decision not to explore racism among other races, for example with jesper fahey. i don’t think it’s a bad thing they’re only choosing to explore racism with one group, as poc should not only have their stories told through trauma, and i’m glad jesper’s happy. <3 but i hope this clarifies my previous and bold “it’s asian-specific racism in ravka” statement.

on an unrelated note, anti asian hate is rarely discussed in media, probably partially because of the absurd model minority myth, and in the american education system (i can’t speak for other countries), it’s almost not covered at all, despite its prevalence and importance in the building of this nation and many others. i was actually intrigued to see anti asian discrimination discussed. i think, with covid 19 and the millionth resurgence of anti asian hate, this is a good time to discuss it in media. however, it was handled extremely poorly, and the version of racism portrayed is a white’s idea of what racism is. the people who face racism are alina (half shu han, which is based on china, and who is played by jessie mei li, who is half chinese) and inej (suli, which is based on south asia, and who is played by amita suman, who is nepalese).

[oftenderweapons]

hi! i just started reading your series particularly the storyline around namjoon x vixen and i’m really enjoying their dynamic so far bc it’s also what i’m personally interested in. but that being said i felt that it was necessary to mention that the book lolita specifically (which i saw was mentioned a couple times in their canon) shouldn’t be taken lightly as it’s been skewed from the authors intent by our society and has had ramifications that were still seeing today namely pedophilia. i’m not sending this ask to make u feel bad i only sincerely mean to educate as i recently learned about it too :// a friend of mine showed me ‘the lolita podcast’ which is on spotify and i was mortified to learn about the true depth of the book so yeah. while i personally am into certain kinks and am totally fine with other people having their own, i thought i would just warn abt that book in particular and how it’s unfortunately been misinterpreted by so many for so long

Thank you for making this clarification. Apparently I thought that the subtext was clear to everyone and I thought that I had transposed Vixen's character well enough to let everyone understand that she reads Lolita for what it is: a book that denounces disgusting, despicable behaviour and that every person that is involved in DDLG content and dynamics should read in order to understand the darkest, most dangerous sides of such topic. I am glad we can face this controversy.

If anyone would like, under the cut there is an in-depth analysis.

TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of controversial themes of Lolita, namely sexualisation of minors and pedophilia.

What is Lolita

Lolita is a novel written by Vladimir Nabokov, one of the most important authors of the 21st century.

The content

Basically, within the fiction of the novel, the book turns into the diary/defense of a criminal, who is undergoing trial as a pedophile after he became physically attracted to his step-daughter — who is a minor — and proceeded with running away with her after her mother's death, in an attempt to marry the girl. It is set in the USA during the mid-20th century. The man and his underage step-daughter explicitly get involved in sexual intercourse within the book. Through the book the man offers several excuses to pedophilia, even explicitly saying that it was the girl tempting him.

My statement on the book and its relevance within Namjoons' Love Talk

As a person who has read Lolita and has studied specifically the power dynamics in that book, I do not condone IN ANY WAY the sexualisation of minors, or ingaging in sexual acts with them, may them be consenting or not. Just so that we're clear.

I don't think that reading or studying Lolita means that one condones pedophilia, and a person like Vixen has surely read that book specifically because she thinks it's an important part of her culture that she needs to be aware of, just like one person would read books about the Holocaust to be aware of tragedies of the past and make sure that they do not repeat themselves. Lolita is not romanticised or idealised by Vixen. She is very aware of the content of the book. She read it because you need to know the good parts and the bad parts of your culture: knowing the bad parts allows you to know the risks and dangers of it and helps you stay away from acts and behaviours you do not condone.

Personally, I want to clear things up. Vladimir Nabokov was a Russian intellectual, reader and writer. It means he had a Russian perception of the role of literature, which is that of openly dealing with injustice and denounce acts that weren't all that uncommon back then. Lolita is a book that shows how despicable and how deprecable the mind of an abuser is. It was written to disgust people and to raise awareness against pedophilia, to improve regulations (the author openly names American States where at the time you could legally marry a minor. Nabokov wanted those states to be shamed! And many publishers didn't publish his book because they were afraid of political repercussions! They were afraid to show that their Patriotic, Free, Enlightened Country, aka America, The Land Of The Free, allowed and condoned such disgusting behaviour).

I am solidly aware of how much pedophilia and DDLG dynamics have often been brought in the same conversation.

I am glad this blog can be educational, after all. The important subtext here is that Vixen is an adult woman. And Namjoon is aware of that. Vixen thrives in her maturity and her wits and knowledge and confidence, which are traits of an adult woman. Namjoon knows that his partner is a grown up adult. The connotations of DDLG here are based exclusively on the power exchange between the characters, where one occupies an empowered, educational, caring space, while the other occupies a vulnerable, less empowered space. However, Vixen occupies this space with the maturity and the sexuality of a grown woman. And if I'm not mistaken, there are a few scenes in which she shows that although Namjoon is pretending to teach her something, he and she are both aware that she doesn't need such lesson. She simply feels like she needs a kind of guidance, and the first figure of guidance we meet in our lives are parenting figures, therefore the "daddy kink".

Now, regarding owning several translations of the same book: Vixen has lived abroad. And when you live abroad and you like reading, your key to the country is reading in their language. Vixen is a polyglot. She was brought up speaking three languages. Lolita is an interesting book for a polyglot because Nabokov himself was a polyglot. In my mind I can really see Vixen buying a text she knows — because she has read it carefully without any sort of lightness of heart — and reading it in her non-first languages once she goes abroad. I can see her reading it and confronting the different words that were used, the weight that every translator gave to the different statements and crimes that Humbert Humbert — the protagonist — has committed.

Now, the similarities between Vixen and Lolita begin and end in one thing. They are brats.

When Namjoon asks her about the books and the movie posters, Vixen says "are you asking me if I have a daddy kink or if I like owning multiple versions of the same book", and the reference to the daddy kink is her joking about the public perception of the book; still, this does not mean that that is her perception of the book. I do understand that her using irony as a coping machanism could be misinterpreted, but this doesn't affect her awareness on the themes of the book.

Vixen is moody, mercurial, playful once she gets into subspace — she toys around things like a girl, but she does so with the awareness of a grown woman; she decides to act childlike, coquettish and playful. She fools around like any of us do, and Namjoon likes the idea of conquering her, reassured by the fact that he has a grown woman in front of him, who has all the tools to tell him that she is not interested in starting a scene or behaving sexually in a specific moment. When she is in a bratty mood, she teases and provokes but never really follows through with her taunts. She needs Namjoon — her figure of guidance and responsibility — to actualise her empty threats. That is all she has in commons with Lolita. What is important is that they are two consenting adults, incredibly aware of how dangerous their games could be if they were even a bit less morally and culturally aware or even slightly less prepared.

I hope this gave you all you needed to know, nonnie. If you — or any of my readers — would like to discuss more about the issue, my DMs are open.

Honestly, I was waiting for this conversation to happen. I have been writing Namjoon and Vixen discussing the topic in one of the pieces but unfortunately that prompt hasn't been selected yet. As soon as I'm done with my exam, I will release a specific piece to explain Vixen's relationship with the text since it's part of the character's back story and her past with with her first boyfriend.

Thank you for bringing up the issue.

[sinkingwmyships]

hEY BABY

im back at it again with

JJBA (VA) Purge AU (3)

yeeee this is the one abt the relationship scenarios ;)))

part 1 | part 2

i highly recommend checking out the previous parts first, if not this might be kinda hard to follow

between me and my 1.5 braincells we're trying really hard y'all so pls go easy on us show some support ;_;

OKAY

(oh yea a heads-up no ships are decided yet so treat all these relationship scenarios as hcs (yea imma make AUs inside an AU lmfao))

tw: (1 mention of) homophobia, referenced past abuse, bullying (??)

1. fugio

the first scenario that popped into my head is that Fugo and Giorno go to the same university (for some reason Gio's parents can afford to send him there, idk he probably got financial aid or sth, and then after he killed them (😳 awkwardddd) he's probably using their life insurance in fear of it running out). and Fugo doesn't really care for Gio bc he's a rich boye and he has his quality™️ elite friend circle so why bother himself w a nobody. but in reality all of Fugo's friends are either only on a social level (u know those ppl who you're friends w but u won't necessarily have deep convos w them or choose to hang out w them n stuff), or they're fake and only hang out w him bc of his wealth & status, or bc their rich parents are friends. plus (im referring to the anime backstory here), after the scandal w that professor who sexually harassed him, many ppl secretly hate him and talk shit abt him behind his back due to homophobia.

but anyway, Fugo's plotting against all those biches :) so where does Giorno come in? Gio, being this innocent poor boy who doesn't have a home to go back to, lives on dorm. and let's just say Fugo does too bc he doesn't have the best relationship w his demanding parents, so he was overjoyed when he finally talked them into letting him move from home into the dorms instead. (side note he prolly doesn't Purge his parents bc he needs their money.) so Gio and Fugo know of each other, but not acquaintances or anything.

and then

one day when Fugo's either

running into trouble with some authority figure at school again

just minding his own business and planning his Purge targets

Gio walks in on him, and he's either like

"omg Fugo r u ok do u need help what happened"

"omg Fugo idk what happened between u and ur targets but Purging ain't good, pls reconsider"

and Fugo, having the short-ass fuse that he does (plus probably having his pride wounded and just general mistrust of the ppl around him spurring him on):

"stfu u know nothing about me, but now you've seen this i guess it wouldn't hurt to kill you too"

"stfu u know nothing about me, ur probably one of those happy asshats that have no need for Purges, reconsider?? haha the only thing i'll reconsider is if i'll add u to my kill list" (bc if Gio reports him or sth, Fugo & his fam can get into trouble, since his targets are probably rich and/or influential ppl, but it isn't Purge time yet, so it can be considered malicious intent and/or attempted murder i guess, and so anyone who has any beef w the Fugo fam can bring them down) (i know nothing abt law don't come for me)

and then Gio is like "fuck dis shit im out" and he skrts tf out of there, but sadly Fugo ain't lying 😔 the day of the Purge comes, and Giorno was just trying to barricade himself inside his dorm room when suddenly, Fugo pulls an FBI OPEN UP and breaks inside using all his high-tech weaponry n stuff (i'll share my hcs for chara design later!!). Gio is freaking out so he jumps out the window into the streets, even risking going outside during Purge just so he can get away, but oh 🅱️oy is Fugo stressed tonight. and he literally hunts Gio down and almost kills him

uNTIL!!!¡!

2. abbacchio & giorno:

(SORRY I JUST LOVE DADBACCHIO & GIORSON SO MUCH)

Abbacchio is tasked w hunting down a certain rogue criminal, so he's la-di-da cruising thru Naples to get to Bucci's house, when suddenly this fucking kid comes running up to him with his hair and clothes all messed up and tears running down his face, and is like "pls help me sir i beg u i just need somewhere to hide pls i don't want to do this i don't want to die" and Abba's like "fuq??" but then he hears manic laughter and chainsaws revving and shit, and the kid sniveling all over his crisp™️ Purge suit looks like he can explode with fear at any moment (and plus Abba understands that nobody would ever run up to another person for help during Purge like this, unless it's really their last option), so he sighs, "fine. get behind me."

the kid drops to his knees and Abba can't help but think "aaahhhh fucking dead weight", but he said he'd help, so that's what he's gonna do. now ANOTHER kid rounds the corner but he barely looks sane, he seems almost possessed by something. *fighting ensues* but being a professional cop Abba knocks the kid out cold w a few swift moves, and when he drops to the ground that crazy expression finally leaves his face. he's already wasted too much time, so Abba turns to Kid 1 and is like "go back home brat and dont get into trouble again", but Kid 1 is still a trembling mess on the ground, and he says "i don't have any home to go back to."

subconscious Abba's like "well that's between you and god" but he knows he's basically this kid's god now (besides, there can't possibly be a god that would let things like Purges happen), so he's like, "fine. get in the car and DON'T get in my way" but THEN Kid 1 points to the passed-out demon child, "but we can't leave him here"

A: "he was gonna KILL you!!"

K1: "i know but he didn't mean it, he was just not thinking straight"

A: "Purges ain't where ppl think str8 kid, besides if he didn't really wanna Purge he wouldn't have geared himself up that well"

K1: “but he’s not a bad person. please, if we leave him out here in this state he’ll be killed for sure.”

at this point Abbacchio can't understand wtf Kid 1 is thinking, but for the first time in years he finds some of the humanity he was hoping to regain in Purge, so he's like "fine. haul him into the backseat. but you're sitting with him bc i got my shit in the front. and if he wakes up you're dealing w it this time. cool?"

Kid 1 nods, and surprisingly he has enough strength to shove Kid 2 into the backseat & get in after him. Abba is trying to decide what he wanna do w these kids, when his phone suddenly beeps, and in comes a new message from his superiors, "yo dawg u gotta hurry up and kill that Bucciarati guy, we'd better not catch u slacking" and he's like "yo Kid 1, can u fight?"

"uh, a bit. why?"

"well, that's what you're gonna do for me in return for my protection."

anywhooooo i imagine that later on, Fugo wakes up like "ugh wtf hello concussions????" and he sees Gio standing over him, and he snaps into defensive mode, sitting up and shoving Gio away and everything. but then he sees that Gio's hands are empty, save for maybe a bottle of water and a towel, and somehow Fugo's own wounds are all cleaned and bandaged, and he groans:

"dude, what the fuck are you doing? did i pass out? did you find help?"

G: "you got hit over the head pretty hard, don't move so suddenly."

F: "haha yea thanks i can feel that myself, anyway wtf were you doing?"

G: "uhhhhh... abbacchio patched you up but your face was really grimy so he told me to clean you up, and maybe give you some water?"

F: "no. i mean like what the fuck were you doing????? braincells hello?? kill me! i should be dead!!! is Purge over?? did the sirens go off before you can finish me?"

he suddenly notices how Gio just recoils and sits there with his eyes squeezed shut as Fugo shouts at him and flings his arms around. but he's seen how Gio defended himself against him, so he knows this guy can fight and is no stranger to Purges. this is the first mystery his 152 IQ has encountered in a long time, so Fugo reaches out to get Gio's attention, but then Gio jumps and slaps his hand away so hard Fugo feels his bruised brain jar. he pulls back immediately, holding his hands up, palms forward, finally kind of able to pierce together what's going on inside the blond's mind:

"sorry. wasn't gonna attack you. just... wasn't sure if you were listening to me, so i tried to get your attention."

"i was."

"okay. sorry." Fugo tries, but Gio is already standing up and leaving, glassy green eyes looking anywhere but at him. "wait! Gior— ugh??"

he almost faceplants the ground again. where's my stupid-ass helmet???? i need to be on balance mode stat. but then Fugo feels two arms helping him up, and he looks up to see Gio, frowning in distaste but still supporting him all the same. he feels bad for asking (as if he hasn't bothered this poor guy enough): "uh, so, what exactly happened while i was passed out?"

oh, honey...

a lot :)

BUT PLOT SPOILERS SO THIS ENDS HERE!!!!!! xD

ya know i might actually go w fugio after all :00 but if i do end up writing this, it will span over 12 hours / 1 Purge only, so even if there are ships they'll probably only be implied, instead of madly into each other by the end of everything :P

to be cont’d… 👀🔪 perhaps with other relationship hcs :0 or chara design?? who knows. suggestions?

feel free to drop any questions you have, or just scream to me in the cmts in general!! i’m happy to answer anything, from chara motives to backstory clarification, or anything else!! ik up to now these posts have just been walls of texts, so :’D thanks for reading thooooo 💖

part 4 | part 5

[ge]

hi so i started playing onmyoji because of you and i wanted to ask if you can give me any tips?? im at level 16 i think im doing well so far but since idk anyone who plays anything would help! sorry for bothering

HEHE YESS ok.. this got rlly long WHOOPS 

so first thing u shld do while ur at a low level is get a mentor.. when i started playing i just fucked around and didnt get a mentor until i was well into lvl 40.. a mentorship is where low lvl (15 to 45 i tihnk..) players can apply for an apprenticeship and level up fast while also getting rewards such as grade darumas and a random ssr once u finish ur apprenticeship.. u can find the mentor application icon in the right side of ur courtyard.. it shld look like this!

while under a mentor u are also lvling up ur friendship which, once it reaches a certain level, it unlocks the co-op feature that u can find by clicking the scroll at the bottom right hand side of ur screen > friends > co-op tab at the bottom right side of the pop up screen... there u can access ur friends powerful shikigami that u can use a limited amount of times daily to beat hard chapters/evo/soul zones, etc etc... if ur looking for a mentor i recently finished an apprenticeship w someone so im free to help out if ur interested ^__^ (my user is @.sneer [all lowercase] if u didnt already know hehe)

join a guild if you havent already! i tihnk it prompts you to join a guild when u first start playing i dont rmbr but a couple things to rmbr.. one. if ur guild has ‘15gq’ ‘100gq’ in its notice, gq means guild quest and u like.. HAVE to do those or else theyll kick u from the guild.. u can find the guild quests by going to ur guild, clikcing the shrine tab on the bottom right, and where it says GROUP QUESTS thats it! usually theyre basic things like submit grade four souls or evo materials but u shld definitely stack up on evo materials and souls so u dont run out.. so if ur guild says 100+gqs.... i wld suggest leaving that guild for a lighter gq guild.. 100+gq guilds are like.. big bad guilds who wanna rank in the top ten soo save urself the trouble.... TWO. ur realm! ur realm comes w ur guild so if ur kicked u cant access ur realm :( i think u already know what ur realm is and what it does so i will just say .. fuse ur low level realm cards.. SAVE UR DRUMS REALM CARDS.. if its a 1*, fuse it but if its 3*+... save that bad boy..

speaking of jade... SAVE IT.. jade and mystery talismans r like GOLD.. theyre rlly easy to get in the beginning of the game but they start getting super scarce when ur lvling up and r completing achievements.. usually when u get ten mystery amulets or 1k jade ur gonna think “oh what if i get an ssr out of this summon ooh” YOU WILL NOT.. this game HATES ur ass it hates u so much it hates ME it hates EVERYONE except lvl 60s who get new ssrs and shit on their first summon... ennieway.. random chance up events r stupid scams but chance up events featuring new shikigami are not... like the one thats going on right now for sp aoandon.. these r good events... random chance up events coming up out of no where is just netease being like ‘buy more jade we want ur money ugly idiot... stupid lmao’.. so yeah hoard ur amulets and jade AH ALSO IN THE MALL go to the mall and go to GENERAL.. youll see a package that says smth like 5 daily jade or smth that costs 666 jade.. BUY THAT itll give u 5 jade daily everyday.. it also stacks up so if ur not online for a couple days u wil be swimming in it baby...

oh god what else... click ur scroll on the bottom right and at the end next to collection youll see a tab that says TEAM.. thats a very useful helpful tab bc if u ever need help or want to join in on someone elses team for loot this is where u go.. when i started playing and i was farming for hiyoribo shards i always went to the system chat and clicked rlly fast on the hiyoribo shard zone hoping i cld get in ... i did that up until i was in my lvl 40s .. ur prbly smarter than me and alreayd know abt this tab but just felt like i needed to mention it just in case.........

SHARDS... if u get enough shards u can form a summoning pact w that shikigami.. demon seals are little side quests that pop up after youve completed a chapter/exploration and they come up randomly with a handful of different shikigami... but you can also access all of the demon seals from the TEAM tab i mentioned above.... demon seals only have a handful of shikigami though not all of them so dont expect to see like ssr demon seals lol also  some of the shikis u can farm from demon seals are VERY good.. ill touch on this later.. DEMON PARADE is another good way to collect shards.. in ur courtyard, click the town sign and the demon parade sign shld be the first thing u see! demon parade, unlike the demon seals, are chance thing, u might get the shards u want or u might not.. its kinda stupid... throwing beans around and shit.. itll give u a lineup of three shiki that u can choose from, if u hit the shiki u picked u get extra shards.. u might see some shiki in the parade w little lanterns over their heads, that just means they give more shards too nothing special

SHIKIGAMI... when ur looking at all of ur rare and sr shikigami ur probably thinking “this sucks these r all USELESS i want ssrs and sps >:(” well akchually... some of the best shiki in the game (for beginners especially) are rares and srs... shouzu (r), kamaitachi (sr), and hiyoribo (sr), are all farmable shikigami u can get from demon seals, if u havent summoned them already! yamausagi, a shiki u will see a LOT, is also a very easily summonable shiki so dont throw her away.. if u have duplicates of the same shiki u can PROMOTE THEM and it will level up one of their skills, just like a skill daruma! (DONT waste ur skill darumas they are soo valuable.. only use them on the shiki u use the most and want to lvl up skills on).. lvling up the skills on ur shiki increases their power and adds perks and makes them over all.. very sexy..

EDIT: added in this list of easy farmable beginners shikigami that u want to keep and build (refer to list BENEATH this one for list of roles)

kujira (sr) support

yamausagi (r) puller

shouzu (r) unique/shield **DEMON SEAL**

hiyoribo (sr) healer/revive **DEMON SEAL**

kusa (r) healer/dps

samurai x (r) cc

momo (sr) healer/revive

ushi no toki (r) unique

kamikui (r) pusher

oitsuki (sr) orbs

komatsu (sr) cc

kamaitachi (sr) puller **DEMON SEAL**

all shikigami have a certain role and its very important u know which shiki is which bc sometimes if u use them wrong u can mess up ur entire team.. here are all of the roles and some shiki examples:

dps: dps stands for ‘damage per second’ but it can also be used as a noun to describe a shikigami that is damage focused (ex. kuro mujou, momiji, hangan, mio)

cc: stands for ‘crowd control’. ccs have the ability to limit the number of enemies actively fighting during an encounter giving u the advantage (ex. enma, yuki onna, yumekui, samurai x)

pusher: pushes the enemies move bar back, giving u the advantage of going first (ex. kamikui)

puller: basically the same thing as pusher. pulls the ally move bar forward (ex. kamaitachi, yamausagi)

shield: shiki that provides a shield of some sort to protect allies without the use of souls (ex. ichimokuren, shiro)

heal: self explanatory (ex. sakura, hana)

revive: healer types with the ability to revive players w a cooldown. not all healers are revives (ex. hiyoribo, momo)

support: self explanatory.. supports allies (ex. miketsu, kujira, bake-kujira)

unique: shiki w unique abilities that cant be placed under labels (ex. hakuzosu, ushi no toki)

orbs: shiki that supply orbs to ur team (ex. aoandon, zashiki, oitsuki)

counter: shiki that counters after an enemy attack (ex. mannendake, vampire)

AND FINALLYYYYYY how to build ur shiki... while doing explorations u get free little souls.. in the beginning this will be ok since ur just starting off but actually each shiki has a perfect soul that makes them work the best.. now there are too many souls for me to actually list so as a parting gift to this entirely too long onmyoji cheat sheet, i will leave u this SHIKIGAMI BUILD GUIDE made by the nura clan.. it lists EVERY shikigami w the perfect soul for them, what role they play, and how to build them.. i touched on their roles a little bit above but i cldnt list everything so heres this.. i use it like everyday when building new shiki its sooo helpful

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1zZoMPfuA1plomt6Kq077Q9CZ3mD_0ThYzF_tIUyf28M/edit#gid=824193257

ANYWAY.. I TIHNK IM DONE.. I HOPE THIS WASNT A COMPLETE UNINTELLIGIBLE MESS... if u need clarification for anything pls ask i feel like i mashed up a bunch of words together and called it a day.. ummmm so yeah :) theres probably..... stuff... i might be missing but if theres smth specific u want to know about JUST ASK!!!!!!!!! im always looking for new omj friends...

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

[bichosis]

HI u don’t have to answer this if u don’t want to i know uve gotten a LOT of bullshit lately in ur askbox lmao but. can you elaborate on how butch/femme relates to bisexual women? i know ur bi and femme and i’ve been reading ur posts abt the terms relating to bisexuality, and i kinda feel like i’m Almost getting it but. does it relate specifically to your attraction to women, or to other genders too? (i’m a femme lesbian so i wanna know from a bi person too)

for me, its for sure abt how my attraction to women affects my gender and presentation.

bi women are often seen as doing things for men or being available to men or whatever and this is a label abt doing something for yourself and for other women and that is something that's very important to me and how i present myself bc my gender has always been directly affected by my attraction to women.

even if im in a relationship with a man, that presentation and my gender identity doesnt change. its still affected by my attraction to women, just like nothing else abt me changes based on who im in a relationship with, if that makes sense?

im sure other bi femmes and butches have much different experiences with this so id encourage you to ask others too but if you need any clarification on anything i said or smth like that, feel free to hmu again ☆

[frywen-babbles]

Sounds of Silence pt6

"They shouldn't send you messages like that. You've done nothing wrong."

"It's okay. It'll die out soon enough when they realise I won't make any of this public. I just want to move on with my life." She shoved some cake into her mouth before she continued. "Enough about me. How have you been?"

"Studying," he replied before he thought of something. "I'll visit mother tomorrow... I thought... maybe you'd..."

"I'd love to come. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

He nodded in response and took a sip of his tea. Why was the situation suddenly so... awkward. What did people talk about in dates... non-dates anyway?

"Um... What's the new job you got?"

"The same old. Shelving in a grocery store, just in a different one than before."

"That must be... interesting."

"Please, it's boring as fuck. But it's a job."

Mitsunari regarded her carefully. Once she had talked about wanting to become a teacher and he couldn't but wonder what had become of those dreams. Now she seemed content at working in a grocery store, her dreams seemingly forgotten. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but he remembered how fondly she had talked about her dream. Had she given up on it completely? She wouldn't, would she? He worked so hard to achieve his dream and proving himself it seemed almost unthinkable someone would just give up.

"Earth to Manju-boy, are you even paying attention to me?" Mitsunari was woken from his thoughts when she tapped his arm gently.

"Just thinking about my studies."

"How are they going anyways?"

*****

Miraculously, their non-date had ended well and way less awkwardly than he had feared. They had ended up talking about his studies for way longer than he had planned, but she hadn't seemed to mind.

He was just about to go to sleep when his phone blinged with a message.

<i wntd 2 apologise> <i hd no rght 2 b that mean 2 u>    <What do you mean?> <thse mssgs i swd u> <i thgt ud say th same> <thnk u> <it rly mns a lot ur on my side>    <Of course I am.>

She didn't reply so he put his phone down and closed his eyes ready to sleep. But just as he had drifted off his phone blinged with a new message waking him up.

<it tk me 2 long 2 admit wht ws gng on. nd aftr thn i wnted 2 stay bc i lved him. i blievd it ws nly once. twice. i thght if id jst chnge myslf he didnt hve any rson 2 gt angry at me. i trd so hrd 2 be the prfct wife i feel like i lost myself. Ths isnt how I thght my life wld be.> <im scred> <i have no1 I cn rely on> <im sorry im blathering u must be thinking abt ur mom> <i shldnt cmplain evrythng is fine im sry>    <No, it's okay. It's understandable to be scared.> <sry> <im jst so lost> <nd scard> <all of ths is nw 2 me> <we gt mrried whn i finishd hgh school. i rlied 2 hm on evrthng> <nd nw its jst all gne> <sry 2 nght evrthng jist cmes rshing dwn> <ill go 2 bed now night>    <Don't apologise. Being scared of the unknown is part of human nature.>    <Good night.>

***

The next day he waited for her in front of the hospital. He had come way too early so his thoughts turned into the previous day and to his... non-date. She had looked very pretty. Beautiful. He looked at his watch when he felt a light tap on his arm and turned around to find her standing next to him.

"Are you sure you want to come?" he asked.

"Of course! I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to."

Mitsunari sneaked into the first bathroom in the ward and a moment later when he emerged he expected her to laugh or... something. Instead, she looked at him earnestly, her expression serious.

"Are you ready?" she asked before she reached to straighten out a hair on his wig. He gave a firm nod before he headed out towards his mother's room.

"Mitsunari!" He stopped when he heard his name and sighed before he turned around to greet one of the nurses. "I see you brought your girlfriend today, how nice of you. Why haven't you told us before you have a girlfriend?" the nurse winked at him and he resisted the urge to either roll his eyes or facepalm.

"We're friends," he said at the same time she bowed.

"Thank you for taking care of Mitsunari," she said aloud. It was the first time Mitsunari had heard her speak. He missed completely when she introduced herself, his mind focused only on the sound of her voice, on the way she slowly pronounced each word, on the melody of her voice and he couldn't help but want to hear her voice again and again. He wanted to hear what she sounded like when she was happy, when she was excited, when she was sad. He felt selfish in his want, but still, he wanted her to show all sides of herself to him.

Mitsunari tugged on her arm and bowed to the nurse, repeating his earlier words of them being just friends, but it didn't wipe the knowing smile from the nurse's lips.

Just when he was about to knock on the door of his mother's room, he felt her take a hold of his hand and give it a firm squeeze. He held her hand a bit tighter too and knocked on the door.

"Mother? It's me, Saki."

"Saki! My beautiful, darling Saki!" He heard her voice before he saw her.

"Mother, I brought a friend with me." He stepped inside and gently pulled her in with him and introduced her.

"It is nice to meet you, Mrs Ishida." She bowed and his mother beamed at them. He didn't even remember when he had seen her looking so happy.

"I'm so happy Saki brought a friend with her! Come here, sit." His mother patted the bed beside her. She glanced at him and when he nodded she sat beside her.

"Thank you."

She paid close attention to his mother, turning every now and then to him for clarification. He felt like his mother recited every embarrassing thing he had ever done, his face burning hot with embarrassment under the makeup. A small (well, a big) consolation was hearing her laugh aloud, something he hadn't heard since the day after he had rescued her from her ex.

When his mother started to look tired he got up and nudged her arm.

"I think we should go now, mother. I'll come back soon."

"Please bring your lovely friend again too! It warms my heart to know you have such a good friend."

"I'll have to ask her..." he mumbled giving his mother a hug.

When he took her hand to lead her outside he could feel her hand tremble. He glanced at her, but her expression was a calm, calculated mask. As soon as they were outside of the door he let go of her hand.

"Your hands are trembling."

"You're imagining things," she replied with a smile which didn't quite reach her eyes.

"But-" he started, but was cut off when she turned away from him.

"Excuse me..." she hurried to the nearest bathroom leaving him to stare after her. He was still staring at the door when she emerged a moment later her eyes red and puffy.

“Sorry...” she forced a smile and as much as he wanted to ask, he decided not to pry was probably the best option.

“I’ll go change. We could... You could come for tea... if you want.” How did people ask others to hang out? It was apparent he was terrible at it.

“I’d love to.” This time the smile she gave him was genuine.

Their trip at his place was mostly filled with comfortable silence. She leaned against his shoulder on the train, dozing off every now and then. He concluded she must be tired but didn’t want to pry the reason why. She would tell him if she wanted to.

When they reached his apartment, Hideyoshi was already there, half asleep watching YouTube videos in the living room.

“Oh, heeey... I didn’t think you’d be back yet, you okay?” he mumbled waving his hand at his general direction without turning around.

“We came to make some food.”

“We? I thought you went to- oh hi!” Hideyoshi turned around to look at them and as soon as he saw her he waved at them awkwardly.

He laid over the handrest of the sofa looking at them while they unloaded the groceries and prepared the food.

Mitsunari sighed and turned to look at Hideyoshi, who had a bright smile on his lips as soon as he looked at him. “Do you want something? If you don’t, stop staring like a starved puppy. The mutt next door does a good enough job on that already without your help.”

"I thought you'd never ask me to join! It smells so good."

Hideyoshi made the table and they sat down to eat.

"So, what were you up today?" Hideyoshi asked filling his bowl with food.

"None of your business."

"So it was a secret date!"

Mitsunari was just about to reply when she coughed and reached for a glass of water her face starting to turn an adorable shade of red.

"Are you okay?" he asked her when she managed to gulp down some water her face still bright red.

"Why does Monkey think we went on a secret date?"

Mitsunari felt his cheeks start to burn out of embarrassment too, her embarrassment only increasing his own.

"I don't know! Stop inventing stupid nicknames to my friends."

"Shut it Manju-boy! You better tell Monkey-boy he has it all wrong. We are friends, nothing else."

Mitsunari translated her words to Hideyoshi who had been grinning knowingly at their mutual blushing, but he couldn't help the pang in his heart at her flat out refusal of them being on a date.

It must be so terrible to her to even think him as a man after what she had seen of him today. After all, she knew of him.

She would never see him in any other way than as a friend and realising that hurt way more than he thought it would. It hurt so much for a while he couldn't even think straight, yet alone be a part of the conversation.

"Mitsunari, did you hear what I said?" Hideyoshi's words brought him back to himself and when he glanced at her, even she was staring at him with a small frown between her (very beautiful) brows.

"No, my mind was elsewhere."

"In the gutter, I imagine?" Hideyoshi winked at him but all he could do was roll his eyes.

"You had *something* to say, so spit it out."

"Um, yeah, Nobu wants us to go play Wii next Sunday, why don't you two come too?"

"And he expects us just happily spend a Sunday dealing with utter torture?"

"There will be free food! Nothing beats free food."

"Fine..." he grumbled and turned to her, but her eyes were already sparkling. "A friend of ours wants us to go play Wii at his place on Sunday. Do you want to come?"

"Only if I get the promised free food you were talking about!"

***

The next Sunday they found themselves in front of a grand downtown building where Nobunaga's personal apartment was. She was staring at it her mouth agape.

"Your friend lives here?"

"Yeah."

"Wow..."

She held onto his sleeve when they entered the building, her eyes wide at the sight of the doorman and the security.

When the doors opened at the top floor she was stunned. He had to nearly drag her forward to meet their host.

Not that that went any better. As soon as she saw Nobunaga, she yanked at his sleeve until he was sure it would rip off.

"That's- that's O-da No-bu-na-ga!"

"I know. Now stop pulling my sleeve!"

"But... how?"

"Blame Hi-de-yo-shi, he always wants to drag me along..."

"Wait how does Monkey know him?"

He was about to reply when Nobunaga seemed to get bored of not being a part of the conversation.

"The least you could do was to introduce her."

As soon has he had managed to introduce her, Hideyoshi, who had come at the same time with them leant towards Nobunaga with a conspirational grin.

"You know, she's Mitsunari's 'special friend'"

"Oh, is she now?" Nobunaga had an amused smile on his lips when he eyed her.

"Stop making it sound so dirty," he huffed at them and took her hand to lead her away from the two men determined to misunderstand their relationship.

They found Hanbei huddled at a corner already, his nose deep in a book. He didn't pay any attention to them so they sat on the sofa next to him. She was tense, eying her surroundings like a caged animal before she turned to him.

"Just... how? You do know he's very famous, right?"

"Yes. But Hi-de-yo-shi keeps dragging me along every time..."

"You're playing Wii with the famous O-da No-bu-na-ga..." she repeated it to herself as if to make sure she understood correctly. Suddenly, she lifted her head and grasped his arm. "How did he know who I was?"

"It was him who offered to let you stay in the guestroom in the house. It's only used when someone in the Oda family has important guests over."

"Wait what? I thought that was where miss Oichi lives?"

"No, she was just staying over so you wouldn't have to be alone."

She buried her head in her hands for a while before she looked at him again, a hints of despair in her expression.

"How can I ever repay them?"

"You don't have to. Everyone wanted to help."

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Even though it ate him alive he’d had to ask for their help there was no way he would tell her that. He would repay them as soon as possible.

The atmosphere relaxed as more people showed up. She didn’t leave his side until her gaze shifted to all of the snacks Nobunaga had brought out.

"What a nasty little piggy you have found for yourself."

There were people he’d be glad if he never had to see ever again. Tokugawa Ieyasu was one of them. Even the existence of him made Mitsunari’s skin crawl with disgust, let alone hearing whatever hideous thing he had to say. Why Nobunaga kept inviting the man was beyond him.

"Shut your mouth, filthy tanuki!" he spat back at Ieyasu, his eyes on her. She kept happily showing a snack after snack into her mouth until she glanced at him.

She froze, her eyes travelling from him to Hideyoshi and back at him.

"What happened?"

"It's nothing."

"Why won't you tell me?" She looked around the room, at everyone staring at them and she shrank back, averting her eyes to the floor. She made a quick bow and fled the room.

He followed her to the entrance hall, where she was desperately hitting the button to call the elevator, her face turned away from him so he couldn't see her expression. She cast a quick glance at him before she averted her eyes again and dug out her phone.

<i dnt blong hre ill jst go> <tll evry1 im sry>

The doors slid open and she took a step towards the elevator, but he took a hold of her arm to stop her. He needed... wanted to know what was wrong with her. Why did she suddenly decide to run away from him.

She froze, standing completely still. He slowly let go of her arm and she quickly hugged herself. He was at loss at what to do. He followed her to the elevator, but she kept her eyes on the door, completely ignoring his presence.

Had he done something wrong? If he had, he had no idea what it might be or why had she reacted the way she had.

When they reached the ground floor he followed her out of the elevator but reached for her arm again, this time just to gently touch her. She turned to look at him, tears glistening on her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away, her lips pursed to stop the quiver of her lower lip.

"What happened?" he asked. She took her phone and fiddled with it for a moment and soon he heard his phone alert him of a new message.

<i dnt blng>

She turned around to walk out of the door, but he reached for her again.

"What do you mean? Explain." She was just about to look at her phone again when he tapped on her arm again. "Talk to me."

She turned her head away from him and he was just about to reach for her arm again when the security guard interrupted them.

"Is everything alrigh, miss?" he asked. She jumped a bit and looked at his face, a small frown between her brows.

"...sorry...?" she whispered.

"Is everything alright, miss? Is this man bothering you? Do you need a taxi to get you home?"

"Thank you, we're fine," Mitsunari interrupted.

"I was talking to the young lady, sir." The security guard gave him a stern look. She looked from him to the security guard, her expression guarded.

"...fine... no... taxi..." she mumbled.

"Could we talk somewhere a bit more private?" Mitsunari asked the security guard, who pointed them at a bench at the side of the entrance hall, hidden from the view by a large plant. He guided her to sit down and sat next to her touching her hand gently to get her to look at him.

"Talk to me, please?"

"This... everything was a bad idea. I should have listened to Yoshi, I’ll never fit in..."

@masamunesmistress @han-pan @you-mass-effect-my-dragon-age @honeybeelily @dreamfar628

[dr-boytoy]

Hi, I'm Alex (or any of my kin names):

-This is just a sideblog for kin stuff. I do post a lot of horror stuff on my main account, but will literally tag anything u ask so feel free to request something specific 😌👌

-I'm also selectively mute, and take longer to respond at times. This is NOT because I dislike u, or don't wanna talk- it just physically takes me longer to communicate. This goes double for verbal responses. I end up using A Lot™ of emojis in order to communicate, and sometimes will respond with only emojis. If u need clarification on what I'm trying to say, just ask. I may not be able to fully express it, but I will still try to make sense if I can- just be patient with me, is all I ask 🙏

-I do make a lot of personal posts mostly for venting, feel free to interact or ignore. I don't require interaction, but u r welcome to message me abt whatever I'm mentioning.

-I don't have my kins listed, but will freely share information abt them if u ask me. Tht being said, if you mention not liking doubles, I will always respect that regardless if I have them listed or not. I'm double friendly, with the exception of my main ID (Alex M//anes), though if we're already friends tht's totally fine.

-U will have to ask me directly abt kin memories, bc I get nervous/paranoid abt mentioning them myself. I'm always willing to share the information, but I need reassurance n order to talk abt it 👉👈

-I casually use tone indicators, but if u need me to use them more frequently, plz lemme kno!! I do forget them sometimes, so feel free to remind me abt it 👌I also will need tone indicators for things like sarcasm or jokes (it's abt 50//50 on whether or not I will understand/recognize the humor)

-No DNI, I just block. Tht being said, I would rly prefer minors not follow me.

-I follow back from my main, message me if you want a link.

[the-real-xmonster]

On bias, and whatnot

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm that anon that just gave u feedback. Anyway, I was thinking that maybe when u make those posts, adding any personal assumptions could be something u do unconsciously, especially when talking abt skaters u aren't a fan of. Like using a certain skater as the epitome of very bad technique, demanding that most (if not all) jumps should be << or < and mentioning the Olympic oath. I think it'll be better if u just point these errors out without those side comments. -- -- In a way, those comments make it look like that skater is deliberately cheating and not doing anything, not working hard enough, instead of the real flaw that is the ISU judging system. Don't worry, I don't see u as a hater, but comments placed alongside those posts imo make it seem like u just dislike that skater. And yeah as I said, it'll be better if u can judge diff skaters on the same standards. Anyway, thanks for your kind response :) (sorry this got super long again) --AND I get that biases are unavoidable and u are trying ur best to keep things simple, but I hope u don’t do so at the expense of ppl thinking wrong abt other skaters. Your blog helped me learn so much about the sport and I really appreciate the effort! Again, thank you and sorry for these long-ass asks

Hey there, thanks for the clarification. I’m glad I understand what you’re referring to now. Honestly for one moment I was scared you were talking about my tendency to be partial to Yuzuru and to keep using him as examples in my tech posts - now that is something I won’t be able to change anytime soon.

We’re talking about Shoma, yes? So I’d like to clarify: no, I do not think he’s the epitome of bad technique. As I mentioned the other day, he is by no means the only skater on the circuit having a pre-rotation issue. I did use his jump as an example of PR in this info post of mine (which I think is the only one time when I brought this topic up completely unasked for), but that was because I was using the top 6 men as examples throughout the post, and among that group, Shoma is the only one with that issue.  

Now about this post, I did not write it with the purpose of demanding anything, The ask I received there was about why I appeared to treat Shoma’s jumps differently, so I was trying to explain that his jumping habits are quite visible and uniform across his toe loops, loops, flips, and Lutzes. I then went on to explain why, considering that fact, I’ve been opting to talk about his quad flip instead of the other jumps. True, I did say that based on my observation, I really ought to be demanding downgrade on everything except the Axel and maybe the Salchows. But that was by no means the main point of that post, and even if you take it to be the main point, I’d say it’s pretty factual: according to ISU rule, jumps pre-rotated by 180 degrees or more must be downgraded. You can argue with me about whether or not Shoma’s PR is visible enough in real time for the technical panel to make the call, but it remains a fact that, when you look at it closely, his PR is a thing that objectively exists.

By the way, technically his jumps should be called << for PR; I say nothing about the < call, which is used for under-rotation. In fact, I have said in no less than 3 separate occasions (here, here, and here) that Shoma doesn’t usually under-rotate his jumps. He might appear to, because of knee torque, but it’s usually not bad enough to merit a < call.

On my usage of the Olympic oath in a Shoma discussion, in that original post itself, I’ve heralded it by explicitly stating that it falls under the unsolicited part of my opinion. I have also tried to clarify my thinking further here, here, and here. I’d also like to point out that I’ve mentioned time and again that I never ever for one moment think that Shoma is not working hard enough. In fact, I probably mentioned it too much, because the last time I brought it up, I was given feedback that my comment came off as condescending - which is honestly completely not what I was aiming for.

That’s all I could think of to explain my point of view. I hope it helps clear things up.

Anonymous said:

I just want to say that I deeply appreciate every post you make, all the tech posts and gif posts and especially your posts sharing your personal opinions (they were the ones drawing my attention to your blog, and I love them!). I think the previous anon has no right to demand the things they said to you. If they want a pure technique info, just go google it. If they demand such a thing, they can either share their thoughts or simply unfollow.(I’m sorry,I feel really angry with that anon ask :(  

Anonymous said:

Hey, I’m sorry to see that you’ve been getting asks accusing you of bias. As far as I can see these people only know how to vaguely call you biased and aren’t able to actually point out where you were supposedly inaccurate in your posts. If you were really wrong, it would be easy for them to just point it out. It’s so very transparent of these guys to pose as neutral and unbiased saints when all they want is for you to stop criticizing their faves’ flaws. I say keep up your good work. 👍

Guys, thank you so much. I’m very happy you are not annoyed by my not-always-unbiased opinions :) I know that I have a heck of a lot of those especially when it comes to Yuzuru. I mean, lordy, I have a confession to make that the other day when I put his hydroblade jump entry next to one of Janny’s for a gifset, I blatantly cut off the part where he fell on his butt right under the spotlight (whereas she lander her jump perfectly) :)) I’m eternally grateful that no Janny fan has come forth to call me out on my borderline fraudulent and manipulative activity. 

For what it’s worth, even if it’s just about random stuff on the Internet, I do think that everyone should be held accountable for what they say and we should never encourage nor tolerate outright lies or defamation. I, however, do not have the full capacity to meditate on how every single line I write (and I do write a lot, unfortunately, please blame my natural wordy tendency) will be interpreted by every single person who will read it. If you have doubts about my intention/implication, do feel free to demand me to clarify it. I will do so, up to a certain limit, because I think that when I’ve explained myself thrice and you refuse to see the sense in it, we really should stop wasting each other’s time and agree to disagree.