#but if that doesnt work she might lose them either way

[kentuckycaverats]

delphine low humanity arc spiral wheeeeeeeeee!

in the span of one session she:

took a stain against her Mortals Are Not Expendable conviction killing a ghoul to protect mitra and npc friend/ally theo bell

got hypnotized by her fleshcrafted bio parents (probably should've been a stain too)

took a stain against her Submit To No One conviction when delores Dominated her to override the hypnotism

learned that someone was hacking the plane her beloved adoptive parents (2 of her 3 touchstones) are on to make it crash it en route to glasgow

took a stain against her Mortals Are Not Expendable conviction brutalizing the hacker and leaving him to die

failed her remorse roll with a pool of one (1) die and dropped to humanity 5

was given an ultimatum by petaniqua, the big bad of her and aelsidhe's arc, who's orchestrated every horrible thing that ever happened to them: doom the world turn yourself over to me and i'll save your parents, or refuse me and watch them die

[capaldiera]

i started reading this fucking out of character thick of it fanfic like a week ago bc even tho i could tell from first glance it was going to be ooc i was just curious and it sounded kind of funny slash tragic. (how are you tagging grief child death domestic violence attempted suicide on a ttoi fic hello?) and i dooo like complaining And for the most part if it weren't supposed to be about those guys it would just be pretty good so im not Regretting it? but i didn't realise how many stories were in the series and im probably 150k words in. and not much more than halfway through

[legy]

hi! i'm caelum. you might know me from @goldentruths-pod or from posting online. im in a financial quicksand pit and i really, really, really need help.

i'm disabled and receive approx ~$950 a month from social security. this has gone from "rough but survivable" when i first started receiving SSI to "i am literally not making ends meet" in 2024. right now my current status is that i am covering my basic needs but any kind of extra purchases are impossible. and the extra purchases i need to make keep piling up because i just can't afford them. some things i need include, in vague level of priority:

dolphin, my cat, is years overdue for a vet visit. this is going to be $300 minimum, possibly more because she has an adversarial relationship with the vet. she needs dental work done which they had quoted me as being $1500 but ive been putting it off for so long that i would not be surprised if that's more expensive too

i have learned today that my gold crown needs to be replaced. really unhappy about this one. it was a miserable experience the first time (everything that went wrong did go wrong, i'll spare you the details) but what is relevant here is that my insurance does not cover this and it was $900 last time. insurance also does not cover extracting the tooth either so that's cool. i have some time before this one is due (my next consult is in july)

my phone is approaching "unusably broken". i've had it for close to 4 years now. the call speaker no longer works (i can only use the phone on speaker mode) and it struggles to run apps or a web browser which makes things like GPS pretty dire. this would be like ~$100-$150 probably, i havent done serious phone shopping yet

my driver's license is expired and i need to get a new one. this was $110 last time. note i havent driven a car in years due to the disability but it's really valuable to have a universally recognized form of photo ID and ive already been hassled over it being expired

god this one is so embarrassing to get into but i had to flee my previous apartment last year due to it escalating into a DV situation. the other tenants did not pay the heating bill, which was in my name (and my dumb ass didnt close the account because it was the middle of february and i didnt want to freeze them to death) so i have a $250 utility bill in collections. i might be able to dispute or debt forgiveness this one but tbh ive been so fucking drained given everything else going on and also my phone barely works so i havent pursued it. especially since i can't afford to pay it if i cant challenge it

i would really like to have a passport again. my previous one was destroyed by my landlord in 2018 but even if it wasnt it'd also be expired now. not sure how much this one costs. likely $200?

my food stamps were slashed in half (covid emergency ending lol) and do not cover my food costs for the month so im paying like $150 a month on food that i didnt have to previously. i can maybe fix this one but im slowly losing my mind from malnutrition from trying to not go into debt and also eat. so i havent had it in me to go 1v1 welfare bureaucracy and possibly make everything even worse

my shoes are probably two months out from fully decomposing. they were $100 three years ago and id like to get something comparable given they lasted me this long

the rest of my clothes are also very literally becoming threadbare, falling apart, or are too big and keep slipping off. i legitimately feel embarrassed to go in public these days because i dress so shitty all the time

insurance doesnt cover my HRT anymore so that's $30 a month i didnt used to have to pay

im sorry this turned into such a ramble. i'm in such a bad way right now, i have been for quite a while and the dental work news is really just the final straw. i can't really have a fundraising goal because due to the SSI asset limit i can never own more than $2000. & i'm aware both that this is the poor people sending each other the same 20 dollars website and that there are people urgently trying to raise money to escape an active genocide. but i held off from making this post as long as possible & idk what else i can do

anyway if theres anything you can contribute to help me i would appreciate it more than anything. at the very least i need to do something about my tooth.

http://paypal.me/hivehum

[its-phi]

okok obx4 part 2 spoilers !!!! like major so don’t read this until after you’ve finished or are okay with spoilers but it won’t make sense for you i don’t think.

i need to rant here bc no one i know has finished it.

i feel like this season , despite having some amazing moments, was just a bit lacklustre in a lot of areas. the relationships seems off and i feel like there was a massive disconnect between part 1 and 2. im going to go into more detail below.

so the things i really enjoyed:

- episode 6 had some of the best cinematography i’ve seen in a tv show in fucking ages! they way they included everyone’s reactions in the court scene whilst still focusing on jj was incredible. and then the scenes following that where the riot took place was so amazingly done i loved it

- i LOVED that we finally got to see jj actually let loose the way they described him in all the previous seasons. like we’ve obviously seen him act out and let loose but the raw emotions that jj produced was insane. he went full loose cannon and i for one fucking loved it.

- i really did appreciate the rafe and sarah reunion and i enjoyed seeing rafes character development (at the hands of sofia might i add). to see how she was the only one bringing him food on the boat and the small smiles they shared before the actual reunion, like when her and jb told pope and cleo about their pregnancy and she smiled at rafe. loved it.

- knowing that kie and her parents are at least on speaking terms made me really happy! and seeing her dad stand up for jj with the cops made my heart smile. they could finally see that just bc they might not like kies friends does not mean they aren’t amazing people that have so much care and love for each other.

- i am intrigued to see how they all deal with their grief and how the revenge plot pans out. i think there is going to be some emotional turmoil between jb and kie bc i have the feeling that jb holds kie partly accountable for jj’s death and i’m interested to see how they work through that.

okok now onto my anger with this season bc there’s a lot of it…

- we will start with the obvious here… jj. look i know there is so much speculation and assumptions surrounding rudy leaving or being written off the show and i’m not going to comment on that for the most part bc we will never know the truth. BUT i do think they didnt handle it the best either way. jj hated being alone and for the pouges to bury him in the desert… idk doesnt feel right. (yes ik logistically how could they bring him back to the obx? idk they have done more fucked up shit)

- the disconnect between part 1 and 2 was STRONG for me at least. it just felt really separated and like we just got over some major plot points in the characters between the two. like jj was having a major identity crisis and then we just kinda moved on. and i know is a pretty fast paced show especially with the amount of moving around they do but like huh?

- (this is a big one for me so strap in) THE RELATIONSHIPS OMG! they felt so off this season as a whole. and i don’t just mean romantically. i know it was to kinda set up jj’s death but the way all of the pogues had this significant drift between them and jj just felt odd and not like them. romantically speaking, jiara was lacking majorly. you’re telling me they had barely any physical interaction but they are meant to be together? it just didn’t feel right. if you’re with someone, especially someone you’ve known for as long as they’ve known each other, even with being less physical people, you’re going to hug and kiss and hold on to that person when they are dying or injured or even just going through everything jj was. didn’t like it. wanted more jiara scenes ( especially seeing them alone and how they interact when it’s just them. THE PREGNANCY TROPE? REALLY? after sarah was so visibly uncomfortable when jb brought it up previously… and i know it’s common when you lose a character you fill it with someone else but like what the fuck. it’s rushed and it’s so cliché. and it’s predictable. even without jj making that comment about naming their kid jj, it’s obvious they are going to honour him with that. cleo and pope are gorgeous and amazing and i love them. my only complaint is i want more cleo. she’s too stunning to not have more screen time. I WANT CLEO BACKSTORY IN DETAIL PLEASE.

- despite the feature episode and the part 2 episode being longer it still felt kinda rushed and like they were just skimming over things quickly. like i wanted some dialogue between jj and gr**f about luke and the abuse jj experienced but oh well ig. (i’m upset)

anyway, im kinda bummed with this whole season. i will watch season 5 but i’m not going to be anywhere near as excited. jj was such an integral part of the show for everyone but for me he really tied things together. the interactions all of the pogues had with him really made it so enjoyable and kept the lighthearted, teenager thing alive for me. like without him it’s gonna be hard to remember that they are still young adults that just want to have fun and live their lives to the fullest.

please discuss your thoughts and if you have any differing opinions let me know! i love hearing everyone’s thoughts on it all and am so open to discussions about it all bc at the end of the day it is just a tv show but it’s also so much more to so many people.

love you all

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

someone has never lived with a coke addict. lmao

no but for real i see these posts a lot and while the basic idea is 100 % correct (drug addiction and homelessness are not personal or moral failures and people affected deserve respect and dignity), they usually take a direction or have implications i dont agree with.

first off, drug addiction is not a class issue. people of all backgrounds are drug addicts. ceos too. so i dont know what this has to do with leftism? as someone who struggles with substance abuse and for that reason has lived with and been around addicts, there are good reasons for people to be biased against them. in active addiction, many people are erratic, unpredictable, and egoistic. being wary of active addicts is self-preservation, not „bourgeois“ or whatever the reference to leftism is supposed to imply. this is also partly a gendered issue because men tend to exhibit addiction, egoism, and aggression at higher rates than women.

secondly, especially at the intersection of homelessness and drug addiction - i see a lot of these posts taking the direction of „mind your business if a homeless man is next to you mumbling to himself“ etc - it seems these people also romanticise what drug addiction with nothing to lose can do to a person. a friend of mine was hit in the face by a homeless man walking by, someone else i know was stabbed by a homeless man after they took him in. just because someone is underprivileged you dont have to stop listening to your insticts and keeping your distance to erratic and intoxicated men who seem like they might do something unpredictable. this doesnt just mean homeless men by the way, i dont trust any men exhibiting this behavior, and yeah would possibly call the cops if someone like that hung around my home or work (never have though).

on the other hand, when a homeless woman was hanging out in the hallway i let her be. my neighbor wanted to call the cops but i told her not to. personally i dont even care if she shoots up there, but if i had kids i might not want her around either.

are homeless drug addicts vulnerable and more likely to be harmed than harm someone else? yeah. do cops and doctors treat homeless people like shit? yeah. these are important conversations to have, but i wish they would happen without romantisation.

talk to any woman who has worked with homeless men, myself included - marginalisation is not virtue. many still harrass and even assault women. and these posts never take a gendered perspective: how most homeless and drug addicted women land in prostitution, how they are not safe in homeless shelters because of the men, etc.

im not saying op here said all of this but from the tone (and the tags and reblogs) it struck me as one of those posts that shames people for being alert around drug addicts and alcoholics when there is ample reason to, especially if youre a woman and theyre a man. and they never take a gendered perspective which is really important in this context, as it usually is.

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

im rolling around and trying to decide how much i care about characters being in character, given my stance on death of the author. on one hand of course i love these characters very much and want to try to stay true to them. when they're horribly misconstrued it genuinely irritates me, and i dislike to think i might be doing that myself. ofc this characterization exists largely in my head, i'm not the original author, though i hope that the ideas are well-informed and supported by canon...

but on the other hand going through the number of times ive tagged saiki as ooc and have had a goddamn good time bending and twisting that little pink guy... he is not canonically a yandere. not even a little bit, though his habitual stalking and obsessive tendencies and

could potentially inform such a nature. canonically he works himself into the ground trying to AVOID hurting people. even the thugs he assaults aren't physically traumatized, only terrified enough that they're put off capturing both him and the meras. you could legitimately make a case for self-harm given how terribly he isolates himself because he considers his very presence around 'normal' people dangerous. to himself, yes, but largely to THEM. saiki looks at his crush, looks at the effect his presence has on his crush (or rather the cliches around said guy), and promptly nopes tf out and never approaches ever again, even working to set satou up with suzumiya.

and yet yandere!saiki, my favourite lil guy :( rip tear and kill my dude

essentially i have two very characterizations going on for Mr. Nikiforov. Viktor 'Doesn't wanna hurt anyone but has severe foot in mouth disease' and Victor 'I will ruin your whole life just give me a reason'. It could be fun reconciling the one into the other. There could be a case of denial going on. you'd expect either version would sooner swandive out a window and run away before trying to deliberately hurt yuuri. and yet.

Mr. I came here to seduce you but I will literally leave if you don't lose weight. Mr. I won't kiss anything but a gold medal. Mr. We're not getting married for silver. Mr. "Oops, watch the nose blood!" and then Yuuri crashes face first into the floor. Mr. I'm trying to motivate you and choosing the meanest way to do it every single time for the lols OOPS IT SHATTERED

Mr. I'm clearly still attracted to you even though I just made it apparent your waistline is a deal-breaker for me, so your weight actually isn't a deterrent even a lil, I still think you're super sexy let's fuck right here right now. You're single, right? Look at my tits.

Mr. Mixed Messages!

Mostly, people like to think of themselves as 'good'. Where do you fall on that scale, Mr. Nikiforov?

I'm writing the break up fic largely because I've read other ones where I was pretty dissatisfied with the characterization therein. The goal is, absolutely, ultimately, the ego death of both parties. There's going to be some pretty extreme circumstances leading into that.

But, kicking over the body and examining it, how to make it believable enough it doesnt stretch my own sense of disbelief...

it could be a matter of just needing to write more to see where it goes. it all makes grand sense in my head! but translating that into a document has proven a bit challenging.

im looking at teruhashi and understanding how she couldve possibly thought she had a crush on saiki when she clearly didnt care for him at the start. i'm thinking about victor so much and he's literally not even my favourite guy, but maybe it turns out he is lmao

come to me, wonderful fanfic where yuuri does nothing wrong and is a perfect angel and takes everything from chris to makka in the divorce because victor fucked up so badly and It's Still Believable, COME TO ME

[chillingwithtavesss]

Ok please bear with as this is gonna be a long one 🤣

Firstly there’s no way Austin did not know he was being photographed in that club plus he didn’t try to hide his face with his hat. He was happy to be seen so I think an am pap walk was agreed and he could spend the rest of the day with his friends as he stated in an interview.

Ok that blind item was very clever and manipulative but not for the reasons you think - hear me out

Austin was seen talking on his own (or so it looks) with a blonde girl that were probably taken with a long zoom lens with how grainy they are but we never see her face.

1. DM says he was seen with a blonde girl however her dob was 2004 - this makes him out to be a predator but coincidentally the same age as Kaia was when they were 1st seen together. However real Austin fans know he would never let a girl buy her own drink and he sure as hell wouldn’t let her embarrass herself by not having ID when he knows the age limit. He would’ve have gone and ordered for her either way let’s be honest - in UK age limit is 18 so fair enough she might not have known but he definitely does. Good spot but this didn’t work as it didn’t get much attention as we all know it’s BS cause even the shippers don’t believe it 🤣

2. Then boom - blind item about them being in an ‘open relationship’ (I agree Camilla was a bit far fetched etc) but this was full damage control as Nepo controls the narrative yet again - why would she be bothered if he was seen with another girl if they’re in a OR. If he’s seen with another girl in future same again it’s an OR. We all know Austin isn’t like that and we don’t believe it but her PR team is on duty 24/7 don’t forget.

Notice how other ppl (non fans) commented on some media articles about how he was holding her hand like a friend/child on his bday - next pap walk their fingers are interlinked again. It’s the same narrative every time with them - pap walk, timeline or ‘still going strong article’ etc etc etc same old shit but a different day.

But Austin played her at her own game - why doesnt she do her usual suspected and planned pap walk this time.?? Well after the backlash she got from being seen laughing and joking in rain after LMP died does she risk it with Presley going to rehab and talking very openly and honestly on his IG acc. Does she quietly play the supporting loving sister role with her family or does she play the desperate (jealous) gf act with a pap walk - she has to control the narrative somehow.

If they are on the rocks like we all suspect then running to Austin is gonna have major repercussions with her family. let’s be honest Presley has made his feelings very clear with unfollowing him the day before his bday. Her family haven’t been seen with Austin for months so they’re making their feelings pretty clear. Choosing him over her brother was never gonna happen - I’m not calling her out if she is with her family by the way as family should always come 1st imo.

The end is close but whether Austin plays the ‘supportive boyfriend’ role or decides now is the time to make a break remains to be seen but this is not a loving relationship or even a great friendship imo. If the L&S article is correct then ‘Austin knows he’s gonna have to be seen as the bad guy’ and maybe he’s thinking now’s the time to be that guy 🤷‍♀️ 🤞

This is very interesting!

To me Austin has nothing to lose being the “bad guy”. No matter what the Gerbers do, his reputation good and everyone loves Austin. Everyone also knows how calculated the Gerbers are too smh.

Also with the hand thing from the bday pap walk, I didn’t know people called them out. They really do be reading everything we say about that weird ass relationship lol

[musubiki]

I forgot if you talked abt this, but does the whole "being on the same level as mochi" thing ever come up in honest conversation between them? Seems like an entire...thing that really influences lime's choices when it comes to the main conflict. I would think either some time after mochi's over her initial jealousy, or heck wayyy after they stop the witch king

oooo youre right i dont think ive talked much about it or at all.,... but YEAH a very key part of limes character is his need to be on the same level as her...partly a pride thing, partly a "i dont feel like i have the right to stand beside her unless i can compete with her" thing

(sorry for the long post rambles, apparently i have a lot more thoughts on this than i thought it did)

but actually this comes up WAY sooner, its WAY too big of an elephant in the room post-timeskip to go un-talked about. pre-timeskip lime could kind of quietly work away at trying to be better, but post-timeskip the m-34th thing is too obvious of a flag for mochi to think everything is okay with him

i think the issues really starts to be hashed out when mochi, at some point (relatively quickly after they reunite), brings up the notion of him quitting the m-34th. to an extent she understood why he joined, he gave her a bunch of reasons why he joined the regiment in the first place (jumping around a bunch of excuses like "They have good benefits" / "I was bored" / etc before finally telling her the truth that "I wanted to find you"), but what she didnt understand is why he stays in

she gave it a bit of time, they went through the whole "well you left me" vs "you joined the organization that exists to kill us" -> "call it even, water under the bridge" thing, and she thought that after a few weeks (months?) he would quit and just be part of her guild again, but he doesnt.

and when she asks him about it, he dodges the question, gives shit answers, dismisses it, a bunch of different things with the underlying message being "I'm not leaving you, but I'm not gonna quit working for them."

and she doesnt want to give him the "choose me or them" ultimatum either (even though pom seems all for it), because 1.) it feels like a shitty thing to do to him, if hes fighting this hard to stay in she doesnt want him to be unhappy, and 2.) shes afraid he might actually choose them

she starts to think a lot of things, that maybe he harbors some bitterness towards her, maybe he doesnt want to put all his eggs in one basket, maybe hes secretly feeding them information on her behind her back, ALL kinds of things.

eventually (and upsettingly) she gets the truth from clarinette. it takes fucking clarinette babbling her mouth away for mochi to get something that she hasnt gotten from lime himself. clarinette (in her delulu) wants to brag a little in the vein of "Haha he confided in me and not in you haha," and mentioned that when she asked him why he stays, he told her "The m-34th makes me stronger" or something along those lines.

and mochis first thought is "I can make him stronger too, he doesnt need to go to them."

and when she CONFRONTS him and tells him this, he gives her a flat "No, you can't." and it FEELS very cold when he says it. she can see the bitterness (bitterness???) behind his eyes when he says it. and its not a bitterness TOWARDS HER, its more of a "I spent 2 years before you left trying everything I could to make myself worthy of you this, and it did nothing. I would take 1 step forward and you would take 5. I'm not going back to that."

so this confrontation became one of those make it or break it conversations for lime, because his only two options were 1) tell mochi the actually pretty embarrassing and pathetic truth, or 2) risk losing her because shes already doubting him enough as it is

i think he probably tries route 2 first though. and whatever it is he tells her, he can see something in her eyes (mistrust? failing faith? fear?) which tells him "Oh no, oh shit, oh god, backtrack you idiot, BACKTRACK!!!" because if he lets this narrative go on for even a few minutes more, hes not going to be able to come back from it.

so he eventually actually does tell her the truth!! and he hates doing it. he really does feel pathetic. its so petty and stupid, he thinks. he shouldnt be trying to compete with the cat witch, hes supposed to be supportive. but he fucking hates being ONLY supportive. he wants to add something, contribute something meaningful, not just be a little accessory/sidekick to mochi.

and (as already mentioned) he cant do that without the m-34th. pre-timeskip he felt useless. and relative to mochi, he was. she wont say it, but she didnt need him. she would reassure him and tell him "You're amazing Lime!" but deep down she knew that after Amanita was dealt with and she was the full-fledged cat witch, she could do all of it on her own (and proves it when she leaves and takes none of them with her). she liked having him there (obviously), but anything he could do she could do better.

he felt like he just took up space, and when she left without telling him or taking him with her, it essentially proved his point. it was not even just a "I dont need you" thing anymore, it was now a "I don't need you, and I also know you don't have the means or ability to change that" and that fucking HURT.

the m-34th though....those guys really honed the shit out of his strengths. on an insane level. they gave him so many skills and tools as a black canvas to do SO MANY THINGS and SO WELL, and maybe this does bring up some resentment to the guild and magic?? that he had so much untapped potential that mochi could just not bring out in an effective way, it essentially bottlenecked him (not her fault, its hard to build the talents of an anti-magic person by using magic).

but these guys...as "bad" as they are (so the witches say), they gave him (and still give him) the power to change that which he hated about himself the most. so that "I don't need you, and I also know you don't have the means or ability to change that" thing can finally FINALLY be met with "Yeah you do, and yeah I fucking can."

so all these feelings manifest as "I won't leave the m-34th because they make me strong enough to stand by your side and not at your feet." AND THEY DO!!!!!! and he probably doesnt say those words directly but everything he DOES say communicates it enough for mochi to see it

(and he probably tells her all of this. she just listens)

so mochi, eventually, understands this. it took the whole pre-timeskip period and some of the post-timeskip period to get there, but she understands him a little more now (and a side of him she didnt know was there). i dont think theres anything she can do to change this aspect of him, but she at least understands his reasons and respects his freedom to pursue that which gives him peace, even if it conflicts with her uh.....occupation (nature?) as a witch. she also can tell him, without any lies or nice little reassurances that "You really are amazing, Lime." in a way she could never be, and he got there on his own, without her. i think shes happy just to know the truth, and know that hes not like betraying her or something. also she probably finds it kinda sweet that he works so hard to stand by her, but tries not to let it go to her head (or her heart) because at least half of it is a lime pride thing and not a mochi love thing

he also throws in a very lime-esq ending on it like "There I said it happy now??? Never make me talk about this again." while completely red-faced. he really does hate this side of himself but he cant help it.

[calciumdeficientt]

I BEG… FOR TOM… GURNEY… HEADCANONS…

THOMASSSSSS MY SONNNNN MY BOYYYYYYYYY yah absolutely :3

TOM GURNEY HEADCANONS

That’s an autistic boy if i ever did see one. Tom is me i am tom. The no shoes thing is definitely a sensory issue, i like to think its the socks more than its the shoes, likely the seams around the toes. I feel like if tom is forced to wear socks and shoes he’s got very specific sensory needs. Absolutely no ankle socks, those were sent by the government to make your ankles feel like they’re being strangled by their oppressive regime, only gym socks pulled up as far as they can physically stretch with sneakers that are tied so tight he takes them off and there’s an indent of the laces on his foot and absolutely zero circulation from the ankle down

Tom runs a very successful horror blog, he talks about behind the scenes info for his favourite movies and also provides ratings of movies both new and old. It’s really funny to watch him in the cinema because he sits with a little norepad and makes notes the whole time so he can come up with a decicive score on the blog. He spends a lot of time in the movies, its where most of the money he threatens out of other students ends up. He goes to watch movies a minimum of 5 times to make sure he didn’t miss any details or lose any plot points that might bump up his initial scores. He has a secret spreadsheet and everything, its insane commitment, but special interest is gonna special interest, am i right gamers?

A very very good student when he applies himself, especially as a creative writer, if you look past all the blood, gore, and general slasher rapiness in his works you can definitely see all the signs of a promising novelist or screenwriter. In the poetry department, he’s not so stellar. Tom is still of the mindset that all poems must rhyme and are generally quite superficial and pointless pieces of writing. And they’re completely separate to all the private free form stuff he writes in his journal from time to time. Those aren’t poems at all they’re just… succinct vents

Tom is also a greatly talented drummer, the kid has rhythm all the way up to his eyeballs, and if he wasn’t so scared i think he’d be a great asset to bullworth’s marching band. But he knows he’d get torn to shreds by his friends so he stays well enough way no matter how hard miss peters begs for him to try out. He borrows a drum kit Russel keeps in his garage and practices using karaoke tracks of songs he illegally torrented onto his iPod, no sheet music, just vibes.

Tom’s face bruise is actually part bruise and port wine stain birthmark, hence why it stays that lovely purple hue forever. The redness in his eye is from repeated blows to the head from both friends and foes but the purple skin around his eye is (mostly) just birthmark

The rest of his bruises are actually just from minor injuries. I think tom has elhers danos syndrome (EDS) so the kid bruises like a peach. Minor bumps from passersby in the busy halls of bullworth leave him looking like he was in a full on beat down. That’s not to say that he’s not often in huge scuffles because he absolutely is, he’s just a little more physically delicate than the other bullies

Tom has the hots for angie (at least in my save he does) so he tries to act like a sweetheart whenever he’s around her. He knows that she knows he’s a bully but i think tom really wants to show her that he’s more than that, he’s better than that. Tom doesnt even like being a bully all that much, it’s just the hard facts of life at bullworth that you’re either in or out, and god knows he wouldn’t last a day if he was out.

[theflyindutchwoman]

Do you need…anything? The last 24 hours back. I'm afraid I don't have that power. A hug. Yeah. Come here. It's okay.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 4.01 - Life and Death

One of my favourite moment… There's something so intimate with this scene, like we're intruding. It's how Tim is particularly attentive and thoughtful, immediately inviting Lucy to stay at his place, so she doesn't end up at her apartment where she would only be reminded of Jackson's death. He's right that she should not be alone and honestly, I don't think he wanted to be by himself either.

It's how, for a little moment, they're back to their usual bickering, fighting over who sleeps on the coach and Lucy not caving in… But there's also this uncertainty between them : Tim wants to help but doesn't know how and Lucy looks completely lost. Her little comment about wanting the 24 hours back is so reminiscent of her wish for a time machine back in Now and Then… Her request for a hug is so bold and so hesitant at the same time, as if she blurted it before realising what she just said. Only he doesnt let her take it back because this is something he can do for her. If he can give her some comfort, he's absolutely going to do it. I sometimes feel like this moment is a window into what he might have wanted to do back after Day of Death. But they weren't as close then.

It's how this hug is so soft, between the little come here, the way he seems to envelop her, his hand in her hair… It doesn't last very long but it's enough to send them into a spiral. The moment they pull away and are just staring into each other's eyes… It's full of tension. Tim looks almost breathless. They're this close to share a kiss before he turns away completely. The pining after that… Both in their bed, fidgeting and looking towards the other's direction, itching to go there… Lucy getting up before hearing Tim on the phone and sitting right back down…

It's how this was a moment full of possibilities, at the wrong time. And to me, this is really where it all began for them. When they started realising that there might be more to their bond than mere friendship. That longing just hit them in the face and they suddenly didn't know what was happening. But once Tim got that phone call, this realisation took a backseat. Maybe it was because none of them were in the right emotional space… Maybe they were scared to risk losing the other right after losing a friend… Maybe they thought it was unrequited… Maybe a little bit of all the above. Whatever it was, they got back to their old dynamic. Or at least, tried to. But the shift was still there. Even after Lucy became Tim's aide and once again, his direct subordinate. They still became much closer. Lucy no longer had Jackson and Angela was busy with her family. They did things outside work, much more personal than paintballing, like fixing a childhood home or going on a double date… It's how this hug planted the seed that blossomed for a season… before a kiss turned everything upside down.

[gold-rhine]

guili + bondage

hard to say, bc guizhong is not out yet so we dont have much info, BUT bc i nailed her characterization as basically "Itto, but Mad Scientist" even before that lantern rite came out, i'm gonna pretend i have guizhong authority and talk anyway

guizhong in bondage doesnt work at all, she hates being kept still and also hates being restrained, and she will also take it as a challenge. she's not thinking sexy thoughts, she's making like on the fly calculations on how to use the environment to get free, with like leverages and sharp edges, etc. she either succeeds and then spends next 20 minutes smugly bragging about her genius engineering solution, or she struggles until she faceplants off the bed and also somehow brings the chandelier down. either way, nothing remotely sexy happens, cloud retainer is woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of loud crash in guili palace to find zhongli frantically going thru the rabble from the broken roof which fell down to uncover guizhong being like "I won at bondage!"

the other way around it might work, tho not straightforwardly, i dont think zhongli is particularly into being in bondage by itself, BUT he is into contracts and also contracts that basically function as bets, as in "if you break this rule, you lose", he likes being challenged, and guizhong is insanely competitive. so i can see like. them making a bet where he's tied and she does everything she can to make him break ties, bc its not about being helpless, but like, willpower challenge. if that makes sense

[headfullof-ideas]

I was gonna respond to @httyd-nerd in the reply section of my last Httyd/The Deep post, but it was getting long so I’m just putting it here where I can further elaborate on my frustrations and dilemma.

Part of writing this crossover is figuring out how characters from opposite shows will react and get along with one another. And to the surprise of who knows who else but absolutely not me, Alpheus has been a bit tricky in figuring this out. This might be a tangent on how I view his character, especially in how I write him, but partly to demonstrate how FRUSTRATED he’s making me.

Alpheus is not my favorite character. He’s not my least favorite, not by far. He’s just not my blorbo like I know he is for others. But he is an interesting character to write entirely because of how layered and flawed he is. He’s the epitome of an unreliable narrator, he thinks fairly high of himself and his own abilities, and has a lot of unresolved issues he refuses to resolve because he’s way too paranoid to get help. This makes for interesting relationships with other characters.

Except I’m really struggling with figuring out how he may get along with Dagur. It doesnt’ help that Dagur in this story, specifically the start, is a mix of his later RTTE counterpart, and his early version. He’s still deranged, but he’s enthusiastically optimistic to the point of coming across as insane too, and a bit softer because he grew up with Heather, and started dragon riding WAY earlier than he did in the show. Dagur and Alpheus are a bit similar to me in that they’re both the slightly mentally unbalanced enemy to the main protagonists, who are redeemed later down the line. Unfortunately, to me, I feel that’s where similarities wind up ending. They’ve got different personalities and goals and ways of going about them. They’ve got different backgrounds, and talents. And in some ways I can actually see them clashing. And it’s mostly because of Alpheus’s own flaws, for me at least.

Alpheus is an interesting character, and the few times I’ve written him he’s always been really fun because of how I dive into his psyche and how he perceives things. He’s a dramatic loser who instigates a rivalry with a thirteen year old, naming the thirteen year old his nemesis, and then loses to said thirteen year old hundreds of times. He’s probably wanted for a few felonies because of all the times he’s hacked the WOA and who knows who else, and might not even exist in the name of the law because we don’t know how long he was with the Guardians. This guy might not even have a birth certificate. Alpheus is an interesting character, and I’ve grown to like working with him…thing is he’s got a bit of a stick up his butt in regard to himself. He’s arrogant about his own intelligence, certainly being very intelligent, running his sub and modifying ARIA with little issues from a relatively young age, and evading all authorities for a very long time. But he’s socially stupid because he was raised by the Guardians, and I don’t think he was ever faced with the challenge of learning something from someone smarter than him, let alone interacting with someone as smart as or smarter than him. I think for the longest time Alpheus was the smartest person in the room, and never had to deal with someone actually challenging his own intellect. This isn’t helped with him not having an idea on how to respectfully talk to other people either.

Connected to that, Alpheus kind of brushes off anyone he doesn’t deem worth his time. His main focus was always finding Lemuria and getting the device (as he never actually learns what it is) to control the Monumentials, and also his somewhat one-sided rivalry with Ant. Ant was the only character I really remember him actually acknowledging. When he first met Fontaine, he just brushed off her attempts at breaking into his sub like she were a tiny, pesky fly, and he never really acknowledged her beyond being a nuisance through the rest of the show. I remember when Kaiko was mad about something (i don’t specifically remember the episode) he just commented ‘Mothers. So emotional.’ Didn’t really acknowledge her. I don’t even really remember any interaction he’s had with Will, which just adds to this. When they’re dealing with the Jellyfish Monumential, he brushes off everything Kaiko says, which can be alluded to spending a few months alone and losing his mind trying to escape, but there were other times he doubted her skills and abilities, specifically her piloting maneuvers when it came to escaping the Jellyfish. Even though, with his stalking tendencies, he had to know she was an accomplished submarine pilot. But he couldn’t do anything to escape, so why should she be able to do anything? Whenever Ant or anyone else opposed what Alpheus said was fact, he always kind of dismissed them, because I think in his mind there was no way they knew better than him. He only ever focused on Ant because he said himself that Ant was worthy of being his nemesis, or something along those lines, i don’t remember the specific words. But to me, he just always brushes off anyone he doesn’t see as worth his time and effort, doesn’t take them as seriously.

Which is where it’s hard for me to figure out his dynamic with Dagur. Dagur is an accomplished warrior, and certainly no idiot. He’s smart in his own right, and proved to be a real problem for Berk and the Riders many times. He was no Hiccup in regard to intelligence, but he’s not stupid. He’s got a bit of a temper, an obsession with being obsessed with everything he does, and doesn’t really give up ever. Man hounded Hiccup for four years to be his brother until Hiccup finally accepted the adoption. But he’s got Deranged in his name, and I just can’t help but think that Alpheus might not think too highly of him. Dagur’s plans are a lot more thought on the fly while following a loose rubric he came up with five minutes before hand, with a lot more brute strength, whereas Alpheus plans with his head and ahead of time. I just can’t help but think that Alpheus wouldn’t immediately respect Dagur, thinking he’s a crazy lunatic who doesn’t think anything through (which isn’t entirely wrong), and isn’t smart enough to understand anything Alpheus says. I think he’d just dismiss anything Dagur says about anything going on, especially when it comes to planning, which would drive Dagur insane, as he is quick to rise with a temper sometimes. I see them clashing at first, because Alpheus is still Alpheus and is obsessed with Ant, except by that point Dagur has claimed Ant as his brother, and he was there first(which now that I’m thinking about it, opens up some interesting potential for Alpheus and Viggo interacting. Viggo is essentially an older, more experienced, and grounded Alpheus after all, who also has prior interaction with Ant). I think it would take Dagur coming up with something that forces Alpheus to acknowledge that no, he’s not actually stupid, for things to change, but where they change I don’t know, because Alpheus is filled with pride and an inability to admit he’s wrong, and Dagur is a proud Berserker, in every aspect.

I do see Dagur getting a kick out of messing with Alpheus, which just pisses Alpheus off.

[merakiui]

ohhhh i love hearing abt ur process!

Btw do you live in a dorm or at home? And if you do live in a dorm, how do you deal with noise and outside stressors? When you have writer's block or you write something and it just doesnt 'fit' to you, what do you do from there? Is there ever a time you wrote and regretted going the route you went when there were multiple options during brain storming? How do you choose a character when you have a really delish prompt that fits for soooo many people? Have you ever given writing a break? How do you keep from having fandom burnout or losing interest in a fandom? How long does it take for you to write your daily asks/concepts (as opposed to your longer fics)? Do you use bullet points or do you prefer to write a hard draft that is more like the finished piece? Aaaand last but not least, what is your editing process like?

Omg omg thank you for so many questions aaaaaaa!!! >w< I'm happy you like to hear about my process!

Do I live in a dorm or at home? How do I deal with noise and outside stressors?

I live in a dorm. Noise and outside stressors don't bother me much. I have learned to tune such things out and coexist with it. I actually don't mind it; sometimes noise is comfortable. But for things like studying which require silence and focus, I often go to the library. :D I'll write there if I've finished everything on my academic schedule.

When I have writer's block or write something that doesn't "fit," where do I go from there?

I leave the scene as it is and move to another one so that I can come back and try again at a later date. Or I'll read through it and attempt to find where the "disconnect" starts so that I can either rework the scene, cut parts out, or trash it altogether. If I'm very desperate and attached to the scene, I'll write it to finishing even if it doesn't fit at first and then go back to review and revise it. And if I have writer's block with an overall piece, I'll write something else to give myself a break so that I can return to the wip with a fresh, motivated mind.

Is there a time in which I wrote something and regretted the route it went when there were multiple options?

Aaaa hmmm,,,, it's not fandom fanfiction, but in a work I wrote for my ocs I killed one of them off and I do regret it a little because her character wasn't explored as much before her death. >_< if I ever write more for that work, I would like to provide more insight into her life and what she was like through the eyes of the characters who knew her.

How do I choose a character when I have a really delish prompt that can fit many others?

I think about character dynamics, chemistry, themes, setting, and much more when deciding who to use for a concept. I tend to default to Scaramouche and Octavinelle when writing just because I'm so in love with them, but for plots like alpha!Vil with an omega!reader (which was originally an idea I had for Floyd, but I put Vil in the concept because it's much more delicious) I think about how it might work if taken a certain way with [insert character here] as opposed to another way with [insert character here]. The time loop concept was something I initially wanted to explore with Jade because he's calculating and ruthless, but then I thought it would be much better suited to a character like Rook for reasons that I won't list due to fic spoilers hehe.

Have I ever given writing a break?

I don't think I have done so before. :o the idea of it feels unimaginable because writing is such a treasured hobby of mine.

How do I prevent fandom burnout/losing interest in a fandom?

For me, it's a matter of enjoying the fandom at your own pace. I'm still completing book six in twst and I have yet to do Scaramouche's story quest in genshin (although I'm stalling because I still don't know what to name him T_T). Don't feel pressured to keep up with everything in your fandom circle. Also, taking breaks and indulging in other hobbies/interests helps me to avoid burnout or losing interest. And talking about the fandom with others can also help to keep your interest. It's always very fun to exchange thoughts and brain rot with others!!

How long does it take to write daily asks/concepts as opposed to longer fics?

Not very long! I can write a lot when I'm inspired. It also helps that the asks/concepts are like bite-sized snacks that can be enjoyed leisurely, so I just write my thoughts as they come to me.

Do I use bullet points or do I prefer to write a hard draft that is more like the finished piece?

It's a mix of both! My bullet points are often written in two ways: either they are detailed and eloquent or they are unhinged. This is one of my scene notes for tmdg (this scene has been scrapped, so it isn't a spoiler)!

As you can see, it's wildly silly. ^^;;;; but I read these notes and something activates in my brain like: I read you loud and clear, boss!!!! For the most part I try to follow my outline and the scene bullet points, but there have been many cases where I've done something different than what I originally planned because I felt it would be better.

What is my editing process like?

Lengthy. I read through the entire draft to proofread and then I take it scene by scene to look for other errors or things that I may want to revise/add at the last minute. And then I'll read through it again in its entirety to make sure everything looks good. After that, I read it again because I often feel nervous that I missed something. ^^;;; but I often view the final reading as a means of giving the fic a homemade lunch and a kiss on the cheek before I send it on its way. :D

[megamind2010]

3 4 5 34 35

i love you

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

nell is one of those freaks of nature that can just kind of Go To Sleep at will 😅 she doesn't do much aside from lie down and close her eyes and grab onto a pillow or casey (cant sleep without holding onto a motherfucker syndrome) if theyre having trouble sleeping then they might sit up reading or something... stuff like white noise or sleep podcasts either annoy them or just dont work

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

despite everything about her relationship with casey, nell is not quick to trust and has a very short list of people she genuinely trusts (ted, michelle, her brothers... casey... IN A STRANGE WAY) she is very reserved and judgemental and tends to assume incompetence in those around her so you really have to stick around if you want to get past her walls to the beautiful loving ladybug inside

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

kind of a complex one here because nell tends to start from a default of not trusting people, so the answer could technically be "infinitely easy", but in terms of LOSING trust it comes down to nell rrrreeeeeally hating admitting that he was wrong or made an incorrect judgement in things... so being betrayed by one of the few people he truly believes in would be really difficult to square with his general worldview. how could she have been Wrong about this thing she put so much time into cultivating... etc etc. but once youve fucked that up youre locked out of the good ending forever lol

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? 

unfortunately as a very neurotic and obsessive person if nell feels GENUINELY guilty about something its unlikely shes going to get over it anytime soon -_- most of the time she can let mild infractions slide off her back like water off a duck (harking back to the way she doesnt like admitting she can be wrong about things... if she doesnt want to think she did anything wrong then she simply didnt. It never happened) but things like... for example in the au where casey dies... nell is very much haunted for like. Ever and ever and ever. either she finds a way to blame it on someone else or she carries the weight of it until she dies. Lol

35.  How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? 

nell isnt very outwardly enthusiastic about most things, but if youre in her inner circle (particularly if its ted) then theyre an attentive listener and do tend to engage with things like that particularly if they align with their own interests... which works out well with ted bc nell can get sufficiently into the same kind of niche technical stuff that he likes (unlike booster, who simply doesnt have the mind for science that nell and ted do 😢) contrary to her demeanor nell does actually care about her friends and will pay attention to the things they like and care about... but she does it in her own reserved way. Like a kitty cat

[aggressivenesswhilecrying]

I think I know what's coming (and I just don't care.)

Summery:

Martyn lives an everyday life, he goes to work, he deals with his personal traumas away from the view of everyone else. And he likes to think he's rather smart.

Scott has a nice house he got after the death of someone in his family, he has a decent job, even if it is customer service. And he likes to think he's rather normal.

In which Scott tip toes the lines of mortality and his so supposed normalness, and martyn in his intelligence.

TW!! Kidnapping, violence, a party scene involving alcohol, and that sort of thing!!

Bata read but not edited!!

(This fic goes to @toomanyfandomsorkinafs!! <3 I thought I might follow this up with a nice note, as your Christmas gift, it's like I'm giving you a card!! Take a look at the bottom of the fic once done<333)

Now, martyn likes to say he's no idiot. When you come from a bad home. You don't tend to be one, even when you're disconnected from reality, you still keep your ears sharp, and mind running.

Waliing to the bookshop is a very normal thing now. He doesn't care to do the math, but he got this job early spring, and bow its late fall, the small drown building with the front covered in windows to display the books, welcoming him. He waves at the batista in the cafe just next door, cramped together on the street, side to side. The blue haired man, nodding to martyn, a large grin on his face, yet relaxed. He seems almost pleased. But martyn doesnt bother. Huffing a laugh, he pushes open the glass and dark oak doors. Rough concrete turning to soft, but itchy short carpet.

Working behind the counter, her shift almost over is cleo. Long wavy orange hair pulled back into a bun on the back of her head thats honestly seems lose enough to be almost falling apart. And Cleo is tense, she keeps on flexing her hands, but her face stays neutral. She must have gotten in another fight with etho over their sons. Bdubs and scar. She's only like this after a really tense argument. His brain can't help but supply. He doesn't really question why his eyes can't seem to focus, but he can notice cleos body language.

He takes the flat billed baseball cap off, hanging it up on the coat rack. Along with his too long trench coat he got from the thrift shop down the street, just a few days ago after work, just to fight off the cold for a little bit.witu snow on the horizon, he feels he might need to go back and get something a little warmer.

Cleo shuffles out from behind the small counter, nodding at martyn as she grabs hers own coat and more suitable for the weather, beanie. Pulling her hair out of the frankly awful, and stressful bun, she tugs the hat right on over, she doesn't bink when putting on on the beanie. Grumbling when it gets her bangs a bit in her eyes.

They don't need to say anything, they've know eachother long enough to know this isn't a day for words. Cleo most definitely had another custody argument. And she looks at martyn, how he seems to be far away, deep in his head, and his hands shake with tremors, and his jaw stays locked. They don't need words today, not when the sound if a too loud car makes martyn freeze in his place, half way to the counter.

Cleo walks out with a nod, the bell dinging behind her. And martyn wastes no idea digging into the new inventory. Boxes pilled in the back that they just haven't had room for yet, just calling his name. A simple task he doesn't have to tune in for. Perfect.

Martyn isn't sure how long he takes, but 3 out of God knows how many, boxes down, and the tremors are subsiding just a bit.

He isn't quite sure what set him off today. He had went to make breakfast, but he had to wash a few dishes first, and he couldn't find a fork, and since he was already doing a few, he decided to just do them all, but he couldn't find his gloves either, and when he did he already lost motivation, but he still did them, and next thing he knew, his podcast was too loud, and his hands hurt from holding dishes, his feet also hurt from standing, weird, he swore he hadn't been standing that long, and fuck, a plate broke. A plate fucking broke and can't find all the pieces, and he doesn't want to ruin his gloves and-

Well, he was shaking, and his breath was uneven, and his Brain felt clogged, and his lips were far too dry.

He decided on just eating a granola bar.

He doesn't know why the tremors stayed all the way till work, and hours later, bit, he can't do much about them, not really, he just has to deal with it, and no think about how his ears are ringing, and his legs are shaking too, oh fuck, his legs are shakin-

His thoughts were cut off when his legs decided to attempt to fall in, like martyn thought of them magic word. Barely catching himself on a bookshelf.. only for, well, everything tends to go wrong when your over stimulated, doesn't it?

Martyn composed with the bookshelf, and the books, and, he cant...he can't think straight, his mind and eyes too blurry, he's shaking too much.

"F-Fuck..." his voice trembled out the angry words, trembling like his hands, his breath, his legs.

It took martyn far longer, and far more trouble to get the books and bookshelf back up. He couldn't stop shaking. Afterwards, with his aching just, body. He thought it was best to sit behind the counter. Checking his watch it had only been and hour since he got in to work. He swore it should have been longer. But his mind lies about the time, and the clock doesn't.

Too far, or too little into the time, the ble haired man walks in, all confident, browsing the books. Scarf tight to keep the cold out, work uniform still on. And a thick, bushy coat. He sighs in relief at the warm and martyn can't help but find him beautiful.

Martyn loves the people that come into book stores sometimes, friendly tired moms, who try to be as nice as their young ones beg to leave. Elderly who call him sweetie, and promise to bring cookie next time, but always forget. Students just trying to get their school books just a little bit cheaper. People aimlessly looking for a gift for someone, even if they don't read a lot.

And if course, pretty, young people, looking for something to occupie their mind for a little bit.

The blue haired man falls under that category, with curled blue hair to one side, and blue eyes like ice. Lanky with a sort of elegance that almost feels dangerous. And his he/him pronoun pin, and gay man pride flag pin.

Everyday, but thrusdays, that he head into eirk, the man is at the cafe, and they wave, and once a week. Sometimes more, he comes in, buys a fantasy novel, or a queer romance novel, and leaves on his way. With small talk that makes martyn both nervous, and a little excited.

The man walks just as he foes everywhere week, seems almost drawn to the horror novels, but ingotes it, ignores it and goes to the romance. Martyn wonders a little, why he doesn't look at it. Why he doesn't buy one, why his handshakes over the covers, then Jenks back like he was burned. Martyn can't say he loves the horror they get, but he does enjoy it, every so often, he'll sir down with one of them, read ad long as he can, and let the idea someone could love him so much, they go insane, rot in his mind.

But, maybe the man has skeletons in the closet he isn't ready to show. Martyn can't Blane him, when he has some of his own. The soft music plays. And martyn can't help but chuckle as the man sways to it as he searches. Mouthing the words as he reads the back of a book. And martyn can see the edges of a scar from his neck but it doesn't matter, the man is walking up, a book in hand, and martyn is ready.

"Soooo, blondie, you haven't told me your name yet?" The tall man huffs happily, a grin playing at his lips, and like the rest of the day is gone, martyn huffs a laugh, holding his hand out of the book but the man just leans on the counter. Hunched over, elbow on the counter, head in his hand, tilted at martyn like that man would rather be no where else.

"Gimmie your book asshole..!!" Martyn huffs out, voice a laugh, eyebrows scrunching, and he's glad he pinned back his bangs today, he would hate for them to get in the way of the view when the man rolls his eyes.

"Nope!! Name first!!" He giggles while poping the p, to really add to it, tilting his head almost completely upside-down at martyn, clearly trying to get him to laugh, and martyn hates to admit he snorted at it, his face wrinkling. And the man's kinda stares, face going a bit red around the edges, but his grin only grows.

"I don't even know your name!!" Martyn huffs, crossing his arms, raising an eyebrow at the now pink in the face man. His flush only getting worse, and martyn knows the logical answer, probably just getting embarrassed, nothing big.

"I'll tell you my name, and give you the book, if you tell me yours first!!" The man tries to bargain, setting his head the right way once again. Curled hair falling just a enough to get in his eyes.

Martyn huffs, feeling his own face redden. Shaking his head, he can't believe how just...silly this all is!! He also can't believe his own tounge. "Martyn. Martyn littlewood." He sighs, unable to wipe away his own grin, as the man sits up, and passes him the book, smoothing down his outfit.

"Scott major, it's wonderful to formally know you martyn!!" He practically giggles out as the loud ding of martyn swiping the book rings out.

"Well, Scott major, your total is 24.67"

Martyn isn't ashamed to say it goes on like that for a while. A few more weeks go by, once a week, turns into twice a week, turns into buying a book twice a week, but coming to visit 2 other days. And before martyn knows it. He's spending his lunch at the cafe with Scott. He's even stopping for a coffee before work.

He has absolutely no clue what Scott is doing with all these books, but honestly, they're spending so much time, dilly dallying at their workplaces, martyn forgets to ask.

Martyns remembers it very very clearly, mostly becuase it had been one of the most nerve wrecking moments in his entire life. Martyn had been sorting the shelves when Scott came in, pearl working behind the counter, her hair pulled back, and in a rather simple winter outfit, a tan turtle neck, a pair of black high waisted jeans, and tan winter boots. Martyn won't deny, it looked good on her. But, well, Scott frozen in his place from the sight of pearl and martyn talking. He could see the man's hands twitch, and martyn felt an inkling of fear. Of worry.

But this is Scott. There's nothing to worry about, Scott that refused to let martyn pay for his coffee, Scott, who's shift got over 2 hours before martyns, and always made sure to stop in. Scott who he well, he trusted. And well, he hopes he can trust him for no conflict. In the times Scott had been coming, martyn was almost exclusively alone. Cleo had the morning shift, martyn had the day shift, and pearl had the evening shift. Early, 5am, cleo would open, work till 1pm, then martyn would come in, hed work till 8, and in their over night book store. Pearl would work from 8, to 3am. Little business but, you'd be surprised how many people go wandering late at night for a book. But all in all, this is almost everyday. Big B would work in a range of shifts, and he often worked martyns shift on Saturday.

But really, there normally wasn't enough of them, to work multiple at a time really. So, for Scott to see pearl, well, it was a bit of a surprise to say the least.

Martyn rose to his feet with a groan, his back poping from the hunched over position he was in on the floor. Hand on the bookshelf he was sitting infront of for just a moment to bend back and pop his back once more, before walking over to the counter, and waving Scott over.

Scott seemed almost hesitant, but, he smoothed out his shirt, and a look of almost anger, turned into one of calm, relaxed details. Walking over with a small grin he waved to martyn, seeming to be ignoring pearl.

"Scott, this is pearl, my coworker, she normally has the shift right after me" he gestured to pearl, a small grin on his face as he looked Scott in the eyes, blue eyes seeming to calm down at the sight of martyn paying attention to him.

"Pearl, this is Scott, my regular, and, well, a friend of mine, he works at that cafe" he chuckled, gesturing to Scott. But looking pearl in the eyes. He isn't quite sure why he brought up where Scott works, he is in his work clothes still, after all.

Scott wouldn't say he's a jealous person. Not really. But rage boiled in his chest, the Jaws of an ugly beast threatening to wrap around and crush any chance at a friendship him and pearl have. He isn't quite sure why it bothers him so much. Martyn can have friends outside of him. For fucks sake. Scott has friends outside of martyn!!

"It's nice to meet you pearl!!" He chuckled, looking pearl in the eyes and sticking out his hand. It almost seemed like dead movement martyn acknowledged. And martyn can't see the look in scotts eyes, but he can see the shiver up pearls spine, he can see how she almost looks uncomfortable around him. Shaking his hand almost hesitantly

"Pleasure to meet you..." she mumbled, looking him in his eyes, squinted as she tried to read something about him. Before nodding, relaxing, a grin coming to her mouth as she let go of his hand.

Martyn nodded to where he was sitting before, a delight grin on his face as he jabbed Scott in the arm.

"Come on, we, have some cds to sort" he giggled walking away as he heard the cafe worker gasp in offense, following after. He can see Scott come to stand next to him out of the corner of his eye, slowly sitting back down in his spot. The blue eyed man following suit.

"Since when did it become 'we'?!" He huffed, narrowing his eyes as he leaned forward, tilting his head at martyn, much like a puppy would before starting to play with you, and martyns cheeks couldn't help but redden at the thought.

"I'll have you know, I just got off work, I cane to hang out, and now you're having me be social, AND, do your job?!"He sat back, crossing his arms with a huff, turning his face away, a pout playing at his lips that only made martyns cheeks a brighter red.

And still, martyn, has absolutely no clue why he did it, it may have been an impulse, or he just felt it was right, or he just, really wanted to. But martyn leaned over, and kissed the man's cheek. "Will that make you help me out some?" He whispered, voice quiet, and almost trembling, as he stayed in scotts personal space. The blue haired man lighting up in a beautiful shade of red that had martyn leaning back and turning into a red faced, giggling idiot.

Scott just nodded limby, mouth slightly open in surprise, the corners of his mouth quirking up.

Scott doesn't know why he did it. He can't come up with a single reason why. This isn't the kind of thing he'd do. He had no clue why he was so ready to do it. He just...hell, he may havel been planning it. He doesn't know. He can't even been super sure he even regretted it.

It had happened by pure coincidence really. He got invited to a holiday party joel and his girlfriend lizzie were hosting and it really just, turns out that lizzie knew pearl. She knew pearl well. The shorter women followed around by pearl, casually talking the entire time. In his hands was a far too sweet cocktail he believes mumbo made, he couldn't be sure, but it coated his throat in syrup and left a sickeningly sweet taste in his mouth.

He saw pearl stand there awkwardly as lizzie got whisped away by some other people. All their voices too loud, all their cups mostly empty, and all smelling of the sickeningly sweet alcohol. So with far too much confidence and bad intentions. He moved across the too loud room, people shoving into him, almost making him spill his drink. His nose wrinkling at the strong smell of fireball one left behind.

He huffed in relief as he flopped down on the chair neck to pearl. On the couch just a few feet away, a man was snorring while sitting up, his girlfriend holding his sleeping hand as she talked with people who came and went, talking softly even if the room was roaring in sound. Scott nodded to them as they paid not an ounce of attention to him

"Well, would you look at that..!! Chivalry isn't dead..!!" He chuckled, and pearl snorted, finally looking over to him. A sad sort of grin on her face, as she sat down on the floor, back to the arm of the chair. Legs curling up to her chest, cup abandoned at her side.

Scott let her stay silent for a moment, clearly thinking something, or not having the words in her. Loud stupid pop music playing on some speakers. Pearl seeming to almost be breathing heavily, eyes still trained on lizzie.

“I heard they might be getting married…” Pearl whispers out. And Scott doesn't need to her to say who she's talking about her voice shaking lightly.

“I'm so sorry about that…if it makes you feel any better, I once dated a man for 2 years, only to find out he was married the entire time, had a family and all!!” He huffs, scowling slightly before sighing, a small laugh bubbling up in his throat. And pearl let's out a hiss in sympathy, and Scott just pats her shoulder. “What I'm saying is she isn't the only one like that out there. You'll find someone else who takes your breath away all over again” he says, voice soft as he moves to be leaning back.

Pearl flounders for words, leaning back against the chair, hair a tangled mess getting onto scotts lap. “I…I'm just…so tired of being so just…alone. All the time..” she whimpers, hands coming to wipe away the forming tears as she starts to bable “and she just…she made me feel like I wasn't alone, like I had somewhere, where someone wanted me, where she wanted me…and now she's off,possibly about to be engaged, like we didn't hang out at my place last week, watching Christmas movies and cuddling, and just…” she groans out. Curling back up into a ball, refusing to look anywhere else.

And Scott sees this as his chance really. Standing up slowly, he holds out a hand for her, a reassuring smile on his face, but his blood boils. He feels it popping and snapping in his chest. And he isn't quite sure why.

“Come on, I don't think we need to be here anymore.” He trials off, his grin only growing as she uses his hand to pull herself up, shaking slightly in the legs. But nodding all the same. Letting her eyes drift to the floor. Scott almost feels bad. Key word, almost. The ugly beast still snarls and shows its teeth, ready to bite down and shred her to bits.

He guides her through the rows of too loud music, and too many drunk people. He can hear cheers as mumbo does some kind of trick with the mixer. It isnt much of a surprise. Mumbo has been bartending for almost a decade at this point. He makes it a point in almost every conversation that he simply loves his job. But Scott can still hear him apologize, and say it's really nothing. That it's rather quite simple. No one believes him in the slightest. Not when Scott and pearl are half way to the door, and they can both see the metal cups flying through the air above the crowd. Too many people in the too fancy house.

Lizzy cam from a far too wealthy family Scott is starting to think. She says she had a comfortable childhood. But. That feels like a bit of a lie.

The door is soon approaching, and pearl leans on Scott as he guides her too it. Not interested in being here longer then he needs to be. Not with the plan starting to form in his mind as he practically shoves her out the door.

“Hey…do you want me to drive you home?” He chuckles, glaring at her from the corner of his eye. Already knowing the answer as she weakly nods. Brown hair that once was done up all nice now falling in his face. As she stares at the floor. Unsure of what's going to happen.

He makes his way to his car, making sure to not have parked too far away, back when he thought he was going to leave with a bad attitude and ready to just drive off. Opening the passenger door he does a joking bow, and pearl doesn't even try to give a smile at it. Sliding into the seat almost limply, and Scott can't help but smile. It almost feels far too easy. As he walks around, opening his door, and sliding into his own seat. Looking to the door to see the small pistol he keeps there as a just incase scenario. He does feel he'll need it as he starts up the car.

With the roar to life, he slowly turns on the music, turning it to an older station and watching as pearls noise wrinkles as the final count down starts to play. He turns on the heating to keep her warm in her too little clothing for the weather. “Sooooo, you're gonna have one he'll of a hangover at work tomorrow?” He asks with a chuckle, slowly buckling in. She does the same and shakes her head. “Don't got work for the next few days, holiday weekend and all. With new years being in a day. Heard martyn and bigB are still working tho.” She says, almost numbly as she looks out the window, something still so sad about her. And he doesn't know why, but her bringing up martyn makes the thing in his chest snarl.

He decides to let the car idle for a moment, not wanting to mess it up too bad. Even if he is about to kidnap pearl. And she's going to let him. He knows it. Deep in his chest. It feels far too easy, and yet to right. “That's good. That's good, well, not good for martyn or big B, but. I'm glad you have a few days off…” he kinda trails off, rubbing the soft steering wheel cover. The two falling into almost awkward silence. Pearl too busy I'm her own head of thoughts of lizzie, Scott too busy in his with thoughts of making sure pearl certainly gets a point.

“Hey, you wanna head over to mine? I have some ice cream and shit? Make you feel all better?”

“....what streaming services do you have?”

“....Netflix, Hulu, paramount, and Disney-”

“-Yeah, let's head over to yours.” She cuts him off before he can finish, looking up out of the car window, and Scott snickers. Putting his car into drive.

Come morning and sunlight streams through the curtains of his old family house. Bathing the place in light. Stretching his arms far above his head with a yawn, making sure to keep an eye on the sizzling bacon and the soon to be done pancakes. A sense of pride boiling in his chest.

one hand grips the handle of the skillet, the other holding the black plastic spatula. Gently edging the pancake onto the already made stack. A low hanging grin on scotts face as he turns off the burner. The room filled with soft music and savory smells as scott moves around. Picking up a plain pancake to eat as he puts two onto a different, metal plate. Still warm bacon following suit. He turns to the peanut butter, opening it up, and smearing it onto the two pancakes on the glass plate. Putting a little too much bacon on the plate. Chuckling softly to himself as he spins. Taking long strides back to the pantry to put up the peanut butter. Mind buzzing with things to say, things to do. He really didn't get to do too much last night, by the time he had gotten back, she has fallen asleep, and he got her tired to the chair? He was far more then beat, arms and legs just aching.

Quietly picking up the plates, he turns to the basement door. Flicking on the light switch, and nudging open the door, he starts his decent.

From morning light and savory smells of breakfast, to dim light bulbs, and the smell of went stone. Depending the stairs, he makes sure to close the door behind him, watching as it suddenly becomes much much darker, and his eyes have to adjust to the lighting of the stairs. The stone brick walls with moss and such creeping up them, welcome him like an old friend. Too bad he doesn't get along with friends from the past anymore.

He represses a shiver as he steps down each step, counting as he goes, making sure to keep his voice a light hum. And isn't that splendid!! He can hear pearls muffled screams and thrashing already!! She's awake!!

He sighs happily as he makes it to the 32nd stair. The very bottom, turning he sees just what he left. A metal dinning table. Pearls hair seeming to have gotten even more knotted!! He'll make sure to brush it tomorrow, if he let's her free like he's planning. Tears and pure anger, yet fear fill her eyes, and scarf gagging her has spit soaking through, and Scott tries not to wrinkle his nose, but he can't help it really.

Her arms tied behind her back, and then to the chair, just to be safe. And each ankle tied to the front two legs of the chair. She leans as forward as she can go without tipping, and with her glare, as she screams nonsense, Scott almost feels like she's growling at her really!!

He sets both of the plates down on the cold stone floor, praying nothing crawls into his food as he's a bit busy. Slow, steady movement as he walks behind her, lifting her hair up as he slowly unties the soft red scarf. As soon as it drops she's starts to scream.

“LET ME GO YOU CRAZY ASSHOLE!! LET ME GO. I SWEAR I WONT TELL ANYONE, JUST LET ME GO!!”

He voice is almost horse, and Scott can't help but roll his eyes and sigh. Walking back around, jerking his hand away as she tries to bite at him. Letting out an almost offended gasp as she pauses, huffing for breath. Hair still falling forward. “Gods!! And you're not even here for anything personal!! You would think we had some long lasting enemies thing with how you're acting!!” He says, voice rising as he scrunched his brow. Not much of a fan og pearl right now, with all her screaming, and drooling, and crying in total.

He huffs. Honestly, he didn't think kidnapping would be this messy. The women letting out what almost sounding like a snarl. And Scott Scoffed in return. practically storming off from her. Something still boiling in his blood he doesn't care to give her the plate right now. Hands sliding into his pockets, gripping the pocket Knife with all the strength he has left.

“I'm not a violent person pearl.” He snarls, voice dripping with rage, or is it blood lost as she spits, going far enough to land on his new slippers.

“Like hell you arent.” her voice as much of a snarl as his. And well, Scott doesn't think before he's plunging the knife into her shoulder.

He thinks it's easy to listen as pearl screamed. head throwing back at an odd angle as she thrashes.

Martyn didnt even flinsh when the bell to the shop rang loud. Pearl hadnt replied since friday night. Hope in his eyes as he looks up, only to see Scott in the doorway, a nervous sigh leaving his lips. With slow movements he looks around the shop, noticing not a soul in the place. He let's him sag forward at the fact its just him and scott. elbows on the counter as martyn slowly slides onto, a worry noise leaving him as his hand slide into his hair, pushing his hair back. And martyn swears he doesn't mean to grip his hair tight enought that he's pulling it. He really didn't mean to.

He can hear scotts step become hurried as he reaches martyn, martyn doesnt even look at Scott as he pulls his hands out of his hair. Gently taking the hand into his own, running his fingers over his knuckles with such gentleness martyn feels he has to look up. Tears starting to form in his eyes as he takes in a shakes inhale.

Scott looks worried, almost frustrated. Eyebrows scrunched, and frowning. His jaw far too tense. But just the look of worry made martyn cave.

“Gods, I'm, scott, I'm, I'm just so worried about her scott..!!” He croaks out, squeezing his eyes shut as he feels tears start to fall. Squeezing scotts hands like his life depends on it.

He isn't able to see the way scotts nose wrinkles. He doesn't know that Scott knows who he's talking about. He doesn't know the way the beast that Scott has gotten used to in his chest, is beyond man, leaving deep gashes that Scott can almost feel.

“Oh martyn…what happened, what, what's going on?” Scotts voice is an attempted softness, but jealousy is lacing each world to the point he stutters. Martyn can't hear it, as his voice catches and he let's our a low whimper.

“Pearl…shes…oh gods…no one has seen or heard from her in 3 days, and..they, they reported her missing this morning” scotts own breath catches on that. As he slowly removes his hand from one of martyns, martyn isn't sure where her takes it, untill the soft hands, calloused from coffee burns, is wiping away tears as they fall. Martyn breath catches. Slowly opening his eyes once more, tears catching on his lashes, and keeping his vision throughly blurry as he leans heavily into scotts hand. A shaking sob leaving him once more.

“Oh I'm so sorry martyn….I'm sure she'll be found soon..” I'll make sure of it goes unsaid. scotts voice was layer in a sweetness, he knew, sounded fake. But martyn didn't care. His breath hitched once again as his sobbing picked up.

The question is if she'll be alive is on the tip of his tounge, waiting to slither out, and bite at anyone it can. But as a sob shakes him, he knows he won't say it.

His empty hand grabs scotts by the wrist, nails digging in and causing crescents into the skin of scoots wrist. And Scott knows they'll bruise due to his low iron. But he doesn't care, he let's martyn hold him like his life depends on it.

With a gentle attempt at a smile that doesn't quite reach his lips, he tilts martyn head up by the chin, leaning in just a bit.

Martyn stares into his eyes with one's of sorrow. And Scott can taste, can feel, the hickuping breaths. Scott figures its alright to steal just a little bit more breath from martyn.

The kiss is light, it doesnt take more then a minute. But it leaves scotts head spinning, and it leaves martyn bringing the hand he's still holding to his chest. And curling into the one on his face. Leaning awkwardly over the counter.

“She'll be ok martyn, i promise.” And martyns heart skips, and he thinks he believes scott.

(HEYYYYY YOUVE REACHED THE END, LOOK AT THAT!!!!! kina. You're the friend I've had for the longest on here, and I really do love you/p you look simply amazing in everything you wear, and that time you show me how you pulled up your hair was, to put it simply, awesome<3 you've super fun to talk with, and I wish life would align just a little bit more for us to talk even more then we do now. You truly are a great friend, and I love you, and you're writing to death<333 I could probably go back and find when you first commented on that pist of mine, but do I really need to? It feels like it's been years knowing you already, when I know it's been a year at max. You're awesom3, and every conversation with you leaves me a smiling mess, just at the fact you enjoy talking to me of all people!! And that honey moon you proposed? I would simply love to go biking with you, in, Norway was it? Besides the point, maybe you could take me to the arcade too<3)

(ALSO, 5K FUCKING WORDS, LONGEST THING IVE EVER WROTE, JUST FOR YOU BABES<333)

(I'm not actually wake, this is a scheduled post, so I won't respond instantly<333)

[silvercrane14]

Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War - two students are in love with eachother but refuse to "lose" and admit their feelings. Instead, they have increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess.

Okay I will admit. this Is a romance and also ive only seen the anime. So actually this would fall more under anime recs bcs the english dub voice acting is AMAZING. Anyway tho its a comedy that I really enjoy. Its about romance but like. Idk I dont read/watch romance often so I cant say "its not like the standard romance plot". But its less about them Falling In Love and more about them Overthinking Everything And Being Silly. ALSO !! tho it takes a bit, it does go into the characters a lot. Very centred on the characters relationships !! Not just romantically between the main two, but in general.

Why I think you would like it: similar in "vibe" to nozaki-kun. Funny!! But it has its moments of seriousness and it understands its characters well.

Mushishi - Eye Have Not Read This im sorry 🙏 i havent even seen the anime so I dont actually know much about it but ive been recced it so many times I figure I should pass it to you.

If u like Natsume's Book of Friends you'll enjoy this. Genuinely I think this is my strongest rec for you on this list even tho I've never seen it. I really do think u wld enjoy 👍

Insomniacs After School - IM REALLY SORRY I HAVENT READ THIS ONE EITHER. I HAVE IT KN GOOD AUTHORITY U WOULD LIKE IT I JUST CANT GUVE ANY DETAILS. BCS IDK REALLY.

"Two young teens who can't sleep find companionship with each other. They must learn to overcome any challenges and figure out what's important to them."

Why I think you would like it: Ive heard its similar to Skip to Loafer in a way!!

Girls Last Tour - Two young girls explore a post-apocolyptic wasteland. They go through abandoned buildings and old towns in their journey, battling solitude eith only eachother

This one is a little sad. More likeeee. Meloncholy, yk? I dont have much to say about it. Very good manga.

Why I think you would like it: The character relationship between the two girls seems like something you would enjoy.

Look Back - to be super honest its been over a year since I read this I dont fully remember what happens. Theres this girl wjo draws comics for her elementary school newsletter. Shes funny so every1 really likes her and her comics. at some point another comic appears, but its actually just four panels of background art. Its so beautifully drawn that the other students begin to fawn over it. Angry kver her loss of attention, the first girl goes to meet the girl making these new comics (The background girl doesnt go to school, she works at home). Thr end up becoming friends and the story shows how their friendship develops and changes, growing closer and growing further apart.

The manga is p short for. a manga but its actually just a Really Long oneshot. Its rlly good. not much else to say.

Why I think you would like it: Very similar to Blue Period. About art and how it reflects people. Also very strongly driven by the relationship between the two girls.

The Girl From The Other Side - ive been typing so much i really cant give a whole review on this. Similar to WHA. kinda. beautiful art. read it u will enjoy it

Kaguya-sama I watched the first two seasons of! Maybe I should read the manga too, I did think it was fun

Mushishi I watched maybe the first episode of, but I should definitely try again,,, I don't remember anything about it lol

I've read Insomniacs After School!!! I'm definitely not caught up though, and I've been planning on watching the anime,,,

Girls Last Tour I,,, might have seen? At least part of it a long time ago. I'll have to rewatch/read the manga

Look Back sounds really interesting,,, I'll check that one out!!!

I'm actually reading The Girl from the Other Side in Portuguese rn lol I have volumes 1-5 on my shelf