#but if people are interested and if i get any new ideas i'll be happy to share them ^^

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | 11.5

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 0.8k

—chapter content/warnings: not much!! something a lil more tame lol, prob one of the 0.5s that takes place right after the chapter beforehand, i promise there is no ill intention behind what's happening here - they're both equally torn about everything as san's good friends/colleagues

namjoon: you got a minute to meet up today? sorry for the last minute request but it's kinda urgent.

jongho: sure. i'm wrapping up. can meet you in the next 15 mins?

namjoon: i'll come to you.

jongho: alright then, boss.

Jongho continues typing away at his desk, responding to all the emails that came in today while he was off doing interviews for the new open faculty role in the electrical engineering department. He makes a mental note to submit his review sheet for the first round of interviewees and to review the applications for the next round tomorrow. He doesn't realize how quick 15 minutes flies by until Namjoon is swinging his door open mid-email. He continues to type away, but his eyes shift to Namjoon's figure as he fixes his blazer and takes a seat with a loud sigh.

"Long day?" Jongho cracks a small smile, typing up the last few details before sending it off and shifting his attention to Namjoon in front of him.

"Kinda." He nods towards his computer. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt or delay you from leaving."

"All good. Didn't really have plans, anyway. What's up? You seem a little flustered."

"Well, catching Yunho, Iseul and San arguing in a conference room wasn't exactly on my agenda for today."

"What?" Jongho cocks his head back a bit in disbelief, brows tightly knitted together as he tries to make sense of what he just heard. San had been giving him a bit of the story here and there and knowing Iseul, he wasn't exactly surprised this is how things were playing out.

He's just not sure why Iseul thinks it's her business to air this all out.

"You tell me."

"As much as I would love to help, I honestly have no idea what's going on.”

"Jongho."

"What? You know how Iseul is. She somehow still thinks she has a grip on San even after they've divorced and gone through all of that. Can't stand her, if you ask me."

"You don't have to tell me twice. But, why? Why is this a thing right now?"

"Beats me." Jongho tries to brush it off even though he can see the look on Namjoon's face, his eyes trying to study him like a damn book. He hates being in the middle because as much as he loves and supports his bestfriend, he also has the utmost respect for Namjoon and knows the guy will always be on their side regardless.

"That's the first in a very long time that I've seen San react that way at the happy hour event."

"Okay, to be fair, the guy was getting super disrespectful. I think any of us would've reacted in one way or another."

"Right, I agree. But, I know there's a story behind it. I know his anger was fueled by something else." Jongho sees the way Namjoon is going about this. He's prying for the answers he already knows, but he needs the confirmation and Jongho can give him that. 

It's just a matter of when.

"What if it was just a bad day?"

"Okay, you know what?" Joon leans onto the arm rest of the chair and gives him a look. "I'm just gonna go headfirst with it." Jongho cocks a brow up. "Is there something going on with San and his rotation student? Y/N specifically." He sighs.

"I figured."

"No, you knew." Namjoon chuckles a bit.

"I don't know. I really can't tell you because I don't know anything." Jongho says he knows nothing when he knows everything.

"Jongho." Joon repeats.

"Joon, swear." He says, even though he tries to sit as still as possible. Good thing Namjoon can't read his mind right now.

It started gradually before it took off completely. Jongho knows about the last minute meetings San has had to take, Jongho has seen the subtle glances, the subtle actions, the mood changes when you're around. Jongho remembers seeing you slip out of his hotel room very early that morning during the NAS conference. Jongho remembers seeing the polaroid slightly tip out of the wallet case mid-breakfast and seeing a tiny slip of your face in his peripherals. San quickly adjusted the polaroid and continued on like nothing, wishing for the best with that one.

And he doesn't have to be told to know you've been over multiple times. All the calls that have gone curt and short, the distraction easily laced in San's voice on the other line. He remembers the faint trace of your perfume in his home, the little post-it notes you've left on San's office desk.

Good thing Namjoon can't read his mind right now.

Cause, yes.

"I can hear your thoughts."

Well, shit.

"I don't know what to say."

"I need you to tell me yes or no, that's all. I need to make sure I'm going about this correctly even though I heard a lot today alone." Jongho sighs and sees how torn Namjoon is. They both are. They obviously want what's best for San, and they both want him to be happy. He is deserving of good, genuine love. He is deserving of genuine happiness because he always rides for the people he loves, goes the extra mile for them. He acknowledges and learns from his mistakes, he apologizes when he knows he's at fault.

He's deserving of all good.

So, they both hate that it has to come to this because it's not even you that's the problem. It's the situation, and they both don't know how to approach it with enough sensitivity and care.

Even though it's good to San, it doesn't necessarily mean it could be good for San.

"Yes."

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[simpcityy]

I’m Not Her (Father Miguel O’Hara x Teen! Daughter Reader)

Summary: Miguel O’Hara is your biological father but it’s not great being his daughter when he’s hooked in the past still.

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters. This is very short as well! Just a little prompt I thought also, I know the song is about a girl who loves a boy etc., but I thought of it more as father and daughter way. *Ahem* Him thinking of Gabi rather than the present daughter he has…I’m sorry if I confused you.

Word Count: 500

Warnings: Use of female pronouns, Use of (Y/N), angst, Father Miguel, overall, it’s just sad. Uhhh I think that is all for now.

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6

Being the biological daughter of Miguel O’Hara has its ups and downs but mostly downs according to you. Walking through the Spider Society, you held some reports from Jess, she was on her way to hand them over to your father but seeing the kind person you are, you decided to do it for her so she can rest. You're amazed how a woman so pregnant can still fight. Walking down the halls, you were alone with your thoughts. The time he left to be a father to another girl..a girl named Gabriella…were you not enough for him? What did Gabi have that you didn’t? So many thoughts running through your head only to be snapped from hearing Mayday giggling in the room. Taking a deep breath, you pushed in ready for the chaos. “Hey! (Y/N)!” Peter smiles holding an energetic child. “Hey” You responded before looking over at Miguel who was looking at the videos that hurt you the most. Videos of him and Gabriella. You only frown a bit before masking it. “I'll just drop this off” You dropped the files onto a flat surface before walking to the door. “Hey Boo! You going to ask him?” Lyla appears in front of you smiling. You look at her and back to Miguel before shaking your head. “No…he has better things to do” You whisper walking through her, leaving. Lyla watches you staying quiet before next to Miguel. “Files were dropped.” She brought him back to reality. “Hmm? Who?” He mutters looking at the AI. He goes down his platform and picks up the files you left. “(Y/N) did, she was here not long ago” Lyla looks at her phone scrolling through it. Miguel looks at the door where you left not long ago.

Sitting out on the roof of your dimension, your thoughts only seem to be filling you up with anger. Why did he leave you to be a father for another kid…yeah, she lost her father but so did you…he left you to be with her. You groan out in frustration before looking at the time. “There is not enough time left” You mutter before getting up and going back to the house. A home where you stopped waiting for him to come home. Upon reaching your room, you changed into your pjs before walking over to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, you pulled out a cake you ordered yourself from your favorite shop. Placing it on the table, you put the candles on and sat down in front of it. “Happy Birthday to me…happy birthday to me…” You began to sing before letting out a sob. Your candles were put out from your tears. Another year alone and many more to go.

“If I could be her…but I’m not her and she’s not me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note: This was just little one-shot. An idea that always comes to mind whenever I listen to that amazing song! I am working on part 3 of the Biomedical Engineer x Miguel. Hopefully this weekend it comes out along with the last part of my first father figure Miguel x reader. Please check those out if you haven’t. I’m stuck if I should make this into a full series as well, but I don’t know if people would interest in it. Anyways, as always sorry for any grammar errors. Thank you all for the support! Remember to stay hydrated and to keep on simping! (Simp City Population: 62!) Thank you so much for the follows and please you are welcome to reblog my works for others to be aware of this new Miguel O’Hara simp writer!

[shikai-the-storyteller]

A lot of people (including some QSMP members) are theorizing that the Eggs are evil or are being controlled by the Federation, but I disagree. Even if the Eggs are somehow acting as spies or agents of the Federation, I don't think it's willing and I don't think they know it. Why?

Because of Chayanne.

moti_otp on Twitter made a thread that compiled ALL of Chayanne and Richarlyson's signs from their conversation (Phil's May 3 VOD, Timestamp 3h 7m). Here's the transcript:

Richarlyson: How are you Chayanne?

Chayanne: I'M OKAY Richarlyson and you?

Richarlyson: I am great!! Happy to meet you but I am concerned about my dad's plans.

Chayanne: I'll ask you some questions is that ok?

Richarlyson: Sure :D

Chayanne: What are your dad's plans?

Richarlyson: They plan on building the biggest favela in the server :D

Starts innocently enough, right? Chayanne knows Forever is one of Richarlyson's dads, and he knows Forever is interested (a little too interested) in Phil, so it's normal that he wants more information.

But then it takes a turn.

Chayanne: Where do you come from?

[No response is given]

Chayanne: How many people do you know on this island?

Richarlyson: Uncle Fit, Roier, and Foolish Bobby and Leo and now you

Chayanne: Do you want to hurt anyone?

Richarlyson: Just bulls they broke my egg rights

[Context: they lost their first life to a bull]

Chayanne: Why I never saw you before?

Richarlyson: There was not enough Brazilian aura (the ship was late bc don't know how to drive boats)

Chayanne: How long have you been here?

[No response is given]

There are a few things we need to keep in mind here: Richardlyson isn't one of the original eggs. Like Tallulah, he conveniently happened to show up right when a new Egg was needed... but his appearance was a little too convenient.

Chayanne: give me 3 reasons why I should trust you

Richarlyson: I have style :D

Chayanne: Should I keep an eye on your dad? Did someone else arrive with you? Or are you alone?

Richarlyson: I… maybe!! But if he gets mad he would probably try to take down any mountain nearby he is dangerous for the nature

Unlike some of the other Eggs on the server who (canonically) only know a little bit about what's going on (either through osmosis, overhearing things, or getting information directly from their parents), Chayanne knows more about what's going on on the Island than most for one simple reason: Phil trusts him.

Any information Phil learns, he tells Chayanne. At first I was a little worried, but as time goes on, it seems more and more like Phil had the right idea. He wants Chayanne to be careful and be prepared for the worst, especially since Chayanne only has 1 life left ("Living Hardcore mode"), and Chayanne has taken this to heart.

A lot's going on right now and everyone's a little big suspicious, but I think Chayanne has proven where his loyalties lie.

Bonus:

Chayanne: Why does your dad wants to date my dad?

Richarlyson: I think… 2 things 1. He's a bit*h 2. He is crazy

Chayanne: My dad is happy married to my dad Missa thank you

Richarlyson: He is cheating.

[hauntedhopeghost]

An incomplete timeline of Green’s posts because I wanted to prove a theory

Note: BTW, if you reblog this, I want you to know that this post will be continuously updated and edited as long as Green posts, so your reblogged version will be outdated unless you do it when the arc ends, and when that's when this will stop updating.

ALSO, AS A SIDE NOTE: I live in the U.S., so that may affect the days, this is the day where I live and when it's posted.

September 1st, 2024. Wild Trick Shots is uploaded. And Green creates his channel.

September 4th. Super Orange vs. Greenzilla uploads.

September 6th. Alan announces the series, though it’s called an arc. The Green channel is discovered by a good chunk of people.

September 7th. The first episode, Green’s Channel is released.

September 10th. Super Orange vs. Flaming Red & Freezing Blue is uploaded. Still fairly normal. Posts a pic on his instagram with his friends, no tags.

September 12th. Green posts a BTS pic on instagram about the making of (presumably) Super Orange vs. Greenzilla.

September 13th. Vlog Through Minecraft is uploaded. This is when things start to go downhill. The cow makes an appearance.

September 14th. Another pic from Green. About the BTS of Super Orange vs. Flaming Red & Freezing Blue. Still fairly normal with the tags.

September 16th. Green posts a YouTube short with him thanking the fans for the milestone. He’s wearing the orange sunglasses as seen in A Special Song. Also posts on his instagram about a “not motivational” quote. That’s when the tagging plague started.

September 17th. Community tab post. Everyone wants to be named the grasshoppers for some stupid reason.

September 18th. Green gets Tiktok, posts his first dance Tiktok, abandons his friends for a cow, and updates his YouTube banner and bio. (He’s wearing sunglasses) Oh yeah, this also happens to be my brother’s birthday. (Happy Birthday!)

September 19th. Alleged Twitter incident. Also I ate grass and cried in the bathroom while Green posted a TikTok of him dancing Gangnam style.

September 20th. Green posts an instagram post with pictures of his new studio. He’s still wearing the glasses. New tiktok with him… what? I have no idea at this point.

September 21st. Green posts a video reacting and reading our comments. Unfortunately, he doesn't eat the grass. We get confirmation that the Color Gang have been 'acting weird' lately. (He's still wearing Orange glasses, my theory is looking more and more likely by the day) ...A somewhat interesting comment about Yellow that is bound to hurt, even though it was a couple days ago it's discovered by the people now. (Varying interpretations on it that we may not have gotten an answer yet.)

September 22nd. Green posts a YouTube short announcing he has a Tiktok. Not much happening... so far. A tiktok featuring Blue dancing is posted. Might be prerecorded but we don't know. It could be recorded at any time. But his friends are still here! ...right?

September 23rd. New tiktok of Red dancing this time! It seems like he's going to have everyone dance, apparently. It's really really fun though, watching the goober. (I'll try not to let my personal biases get through this I swear-)

September 25th. Green makes a community QnA post (I haven’t read the questions) and we get Yellow dancing.

September 26th. Orange dancing! (I don’t have tiktok I’m just going off of everyone’s posts lol) New Green instagram post where he definitely wants to eat grass and uhh idk he’s feeling cute. (HE HAS THE GLASSES) Oh yeah a tiktok of him dancing on a red background, still working on that.

September 27th. Tiktok pov: the fanbase wants Green to eat grass and I don’t think the Becker Team anticipated that. (Orange Glasses still on…)

September 28th. Surviving on the Couch for 24 hours, and he does manage to complete the challenge, though it appears rather boring from the perspective of the audience. No one is there. (🕶️) New Blue tiktok in which they are dancing in what's seemingly Adobe Premiere, I could be mistaken though. Instagram post of where Green (most likely) might be eating grass soon. Or teasing a video about it.

September 29th. So Green eats grass. Yeah. He does. He throws it up afterward so does it count? (🕶️) New dance tiktok, and the fandom somewhat goes insane over grass. (no context provided)

September 30th. Instagram post with a picnic next to cherry blossoms, presumably he’s pulling a prank… OH NOOOOOO (🕶️)

October 1st. Yay first day of October! … NO PRANK VIDEO- Green dumps all of his friends in lava as a “totally funny prank” … yeah. no. (🕶️) The fandom is currently combusting. Posts a new tiktok video hours later, it appears he’s in the same place where he reacted to people’s comments. Dancing.

October 2nd. … I have literally nothing to say. Green’s instagram post with him “cutting off toxic influences and fake friends.” It’s Second’s birthday. (And Dark’s) AND THIS HAPPENS- (🕶️)

October 4th. Green attempts a reaction video: Try not to laugh challenge. He gets a sponsor from NORD VPN, and there’s an ofd explosion at the end. (🕶️)

October 5th. The 2nd episode, "IS GREEN OKAY!?" is released. Spoiler alert: nobody is okay. (At this point, it hits way too close to home.) Later, he releases a video really late (in my time) titled, REACTING TO MY FRIENDS HAVING FUN WITHOUT ME. It might be from the recycling bin, we don’t know. (🕶️)

October 6th. Green releases a home tour video. With no one. He might be hearing something coming from upstairs, and he can’t find his friends anywhere. Later, a tiktok of him pointing out five things he can see while lying in bed. Apparently, he’s still fueled on comments, but also lonely. (Sidenote: Happy birthday, Mom!)

October 7th. Green’s picnic isn’t going so well, is it? His friends are behind the camera! Right…? (🕶️) (Picture of Green eating a sandwich next to cherry blossoms)

October 8th. A tiktok of Green, he might’ve been wiping away his tears at the beginning. “It’s okay to be sad, I’m always sad.” … I have nothing to say. “Mental health checkup.” (where is everyone?) (🕶️)

October 9th. Green is taking a break. Instagram post with no tags, and with just a picture of the sun.

October 10th. Green announces on YouTube that he's taking a break. The video is simply titled that. (OH MY GOSH GUYS HE LOST THE GLASSES)

October 11th. Multiple clips are uploaded, including the deleted orange tiktok dances, a blooper reel, Yellow doing a flip, Green cheating in the couch challenge, Red presenting something offscreen, and the original (with lots of effects) Super Orange vs. Greenzilla

October 14th. It’s confirmed: Influencer arc ep 3 is releasing this Saturday, or the 19th. It’s also confirmed that other channels such as ItsMeYellow are all fanmade.

October 19th. Burnout releases. Episode three. I will not be spoiling it, but WOW. YEIADHSHDHAHASGBABSJSJQSJ

:3

[alexthebordercollie]

i'm always a sucker for the take that Ford does love kids, he's just not the best caretaker. i mean, he's immediately delighted to learn he's an uncle in tale of two stans, and he loves spending time with Dipper and Mabel, he's just kind of dense.

i think aus where he gets to be a dad with Fiddleford are so cute. and so interesting to see how he'd handle it. people always seem to forget what a softie he can be

Oh yes! It kind of bugs me how a lot of people act like Ford is cold when he really isn't. There are lots of little examples of him being an absolute sweetheart. He talks a big game about being logical and suppressing fear etc, but he's a deeply emotional person, and that comes through in his more personal journal entries. He's not some heartless robot. He loves sharing his joy and excitement with the people close to him. He craves human connection even though he's bad at it. He gets attached to weird little creatures like Shifty, he loves his niece and nephew and is genuinely happy to meet them. Not to mention Ford loves weirdness and creativity and kids are the weirdest most creative demographic of people out there.

I don't think Ford dislikes kids at all. I think his lack of emotional intelligence and tendency to be lost in his own world makes him a questionable caretaker. Not through apathy or malice, he's just kind of bad with kids. Making him a father is really interesting for this reason because I'm confident he'd love the shit out of his kids, but learning how to respond appropriately to their needs, keep them safe, and pay attention consistently when needed, would all be things he'd struggle with.

Ford also says as much in his journal that he didn't want to settle down and "start a family". I don't think he ever saw kids of his own as part of his future nor do I think he'd ever consciously choose to have them. That said these are the words of a young Ford with grand ambitions that children would have potentially gotten in the way of. I also think the way he shuts down the idea of "starting a family" is a response to the social pressure to get straight married which is also not something he would have wanted. I mean look how well that worked out for Fidds :/

But Ford's whole character arc is about humbling himself. Learning to let go of this fantasy of some grand destiny and find joy in just living life with the people he cares about. He learns to accept the love of others and to love himself without needing to prove anything.

Pictured above, is a combination of sleep deprivation and those little moments when you're a new parent and it dawns on you yet again that suddenly you have this tiny little human who's who world depends on you. That mix of fear and awe and overwhelming love that hits you in waves and turns your brain into mush for a moment.

Nik and Newt force Ford to put someone else over himself, forcing him to reassess his priorities much sooner.

Also I know this one wasn't really an ask but I really wanted to draw something for you because it was soooooo good seeing a real ask in my inbox. I would absolutely love to answer any asks people have about this AU. I'd love to draw more of Ford, Fidds, Stan, and the twins but it gets hard to decide what to draw with so many ideas in my brain. By all means, send me asks or suggestions for drawings and I'll do my best to respond to all of them.

[foli-vora]

without you

matt murdock x f!reader

A/N: made myself hurt with this one tbh. I'll think about a part 2 if enough are interested, but I'll warn you - it won't be a happy ending lmao. Enjoy the angst-fest loves! x

Summary: You return after the 'blip'. Five years is a long time, and a lot of things can happen in that time.

Word count: 2.1kish

Warnings: ANGST. ANGST ANGST ANGST. i got sad af writing this. i don't even know what to put in the warnings. the events of infinity war & endgame, brief mention of the avengers, severe and utter fucking heartbreak, i would lose my fucking mind coming home after an apparent 5 years and finding the love of my life *******, lots of anxiety/panic, severe panic attack, passing out. no hate to karen here - she's a fucking babe.

-

It happens within a blink.

One moment there’s no one, and the next, an older woman is suddenly standing in your way and you can’t help the brief twitch of annoyance that she’s there. You have a meeting, you have groceries to get… you can’t just play chicken with a stranger on the pavement all afternoon.

She freezes, like many others you notice, and your frown deepens, confusion starting to take over the irritation. They all look at you, but not just you.

Time seemingly comes to a momentary freeze and you just don’t understand. Why is she looking at you like that?

The next minute—panic.

There’s a rush.

People scramble for their phones, they run. Cars swerve and there’s chaos. There are people crying, people start screaming, but there’s also awe, laughter. People embrace strangers. You know they’re strangers by the way they look around in complete bewilderment in the arms of the other, seemingly just as confused as you.

Five years.

Why do you keep hearing ‘five years��? Why are shop fronts different? What the hell has happened? 

“You’re… you’re all back,” the woman utters, tears starting to build along her lash line.

Back?

You feel it in the pit of your stomach, a sick feeling of dread slowly building until it feels like it sticks uncomfortably in your throat. Something happened. You don’t know what, you don’t know how, all you know is that you need to go home immediately.

It’s halfway back to the apartment, after passing things that weren’t there previously, shops that you had passed just hours before now different, and your phone simply refusing to connect for unknown reasons, that you break into a panicked run.

You want home, you want somewhere familiar.

Matt left for work the same time as you—would the new mayhem taking over the streets bring him home to you? Maybe he’d already be waiting, sensing the frenzy before you?

The view of your building is a welcome relief, and you slow as you reach the door, heart pounding in your chest as you take the stairs as quickly as possible. The apartment is unlocked, and you berate yourself for forgetting to lock up earlier, but Matt’s cane resting by the door turns your inward irritation to understanding.

He’s home. He got here before you. He must be waiting, maybe he’d have answers—

“Matty?” you call, “do you have any idea what’s—”

A clatter, a sweep of air, and then he’s on you.

He’s curled around you before you can even finish, his arms so tight and constricting you struggle to take in a full breath. He’s talking, muttering incoherent words into the skin of your throat and all you can do is stand there, mind whirling in a maddening rush, not even able to lift your arms to return his embrace due to his restrictive hold.

“You’re here,” he breathes, almost disbelieving, “you’re here. I didn’t want to have hope but—God, I—”

“Matt, I’m so confused,” you breathe, unsure of why tears are starting to gloss your eyes or why your heart suddenly feels like it’s beating in the back of your throat, “what’s going on? It’s crazy out there, I don’t know wh—”

“I know. I know, sweetheart. I’ve missed you. God, I’ve missed you. It’s been so long, I didn’t think I’d ever—” he trails off, unable to finish his sentence and a few more panicked kisses press into the side of your throat.

He’s crying.

You feel the wetness of his tears smear over your skin and it’s enough to bring your own falling heavily from your eyes. What is he talking about? You saw him this morning, only mere hours ago. You made breakfast, you kissed him goodbye like every other day, nothing had been different. 

“Matt,” you whimper, “what the hell is going on?”

���

Five years. You were gone for five years. Just one day—poof. Out of existence, never to be seen again. The city had been clouded by dust, remnants of those also taken disappearing with the autumn breeze. So many people just lost. You don’t remember any of it.

There was no pain, no suffering. You had no recollection of the time lost at all, and yet for Matt it had been years.

Years since he had touched you, kissed you, felt you. He tells you that he looked for you for weeks, months. Even went to the damn Avengers—or what was left of them—and found out what had happened. He’d been distraught, falling into a deep, dark pit of despair and heartbreak from the sudden loss of you.

You cry for him, for the time you’d lost together.

Nothing could ever make up for it. Sure, you’re here now, but could you ever truly make up for the loss of time? What had he gone through during your absence?

The two of you don’t part for what feels like hours.

Matt clings to you, inhaling you deeply and kissing whatever inch of skin he could reach. He doesn’t pull away to answer your questions, instead letting the low rumble of his voice melt through the fabric of your shirt and flooding warmth along your shoulder.

His hands still roam over you, almost as if they’re retracing your dips and curves to remind himself of how you felt when you disappeared five years ago. You catch his fingers with a sweet flutter in your chest, lifting his hand to press a tender kiss to the back of it when the smooth feel of metal catches your attention.

It’s a simple gold band, fit snug around the fourth finger of his left hand and you rub your finger over the shiny surface of it in curiosity. He wasn't wearing a ring this morning...

A ring. 

A wedding ring.

You feel sick.

He senses the moment you realise it, picking up on the sudden quicken of your heartbeat and the clammy sting of sweat that builds along the back of your neck.

His tongue darts out to moisten his lips as you stare at the smooth gold band in shock, feeling as if the room had suddenly gotten ten times smaller. He starts to shift, his fingers quickly flipping to wrap around your wrists to keep you from moving away.

“Let me explain—”

“You… are—are you married?”

“Sweetheart, please—”

You hurriedly stand, wrenching your hands from his and stumbling on your quick step back as he advances after you. He’s married? How can he be married?

Maybe he’s not. Maybe he just slid the ring you both picked out onto his finger when you disappeared in an effort to keep your memory fresh… but with the shine of guilt starting to seep into his features, you fear it’s not as sentimental as you hope.

Panic consumes you. Your eyes flitter around the room, your ears filling with a dull ring that drowns out whatever words fall from his lips as he cautiously steps after you.

It’s your apartment, but it’s… it’s not.

You start to notice the little things you had missed upon coming home so quickly. That throw over the back of the couch isn’t yours. The coffee mug next to Matt’s on the kitchen counter isn’t yours. Your trinkets aren’t lingering on the shelves where you’d placed them. Your shoes aren’t thrown by the door. Your photo with Matt isn’t in its usual spot on the wall.

Instead, another picture hangs there.

Bile burns the back of your throat. Your heart thunders away in your ears. You know what it is, you can see the general feel of it and who stands within the frame through blurry eyes, but you simply can’t accept it.

It’s morbid curiosity that makes you take those few steps towards it, a part of you screaming to not look, to turn away before it really hammers that final nail into the coffin and fucking destroys you. Maybe your mind needs to truly see it in order to make sense of it… but no. It only makes you more confused, more distressed.

What the fuck?

Oxygen is impossible. You can’t fucking breathe. You can’t—

“Sweetheart—”

It’s a wedding photo.

Matt’s wedding photo.

Matt and Karen’s wedding photo.

“Oh my god,” you whimper brokenly, clutching a hand to your chest in an effort to keep yourself together. You press where you feel the rapid beat of your heart, half wondering if you’d be able to feel the break of the frantic organ under your palm.

The room starts to spin.

This morning you’d woken up with an apartment and a fiancé, and now, only a few hours later, you have nothing. How can you have nothing? The apartment is home to you—you left your pyjamas on the floor of the bathroom this morning. You had your coffee at the counter. The love you feel for Matt is present as it always had been, there in the centre of your entire being, so sweet and consuming and yet, his love for you had seemingly vanished.

Disintegrated, along with your body apparently five years ago. Maybe with a clearer head, you’d come to understand that five years is a long time and it’s understandable that he had to move on at some point, but in the moment you feel nothing but hurt—rage.

Matt’s hands are frantic on your body, grabbing at your arms and keeping you from falling to the floor as a sob tears its way out of your chest. You can hear him try to soothe you, hear his worry that your heart is erratic and you just need to breathe.

Breathe, sweetheart—please, breathe.

You can’t. You simply can’t.

Oxygen isn’t coming as easily as it should. Your lungs burn. You’re shaking, unable to stop the tremble taking over your body as you choke on your tears. They burn your skin, painting your cheeks with the bitterness of your heartbreak and they just won’t stop. 

He supports you as you sink towards the floor, legs no longer having the strength to hold you up. He goes down with you, hands cradling your head to his chest and you can’t find it in you to push him away and escape his touch.

It’s Matt. Your Matt. 

You shouldn’t want to shrug him off. You shouldn’t feel guilty at his touch. He’s your Matt, has been for the eighteen months you’ve been together. It was meant to be you in that frame, swimming in white with a smile stretched along your lips, Matt dressed to the nines in an immaculate tux and his ever present red shades beside you.

But it’s not. It’s… it’s Karen.

It’s not you, there’s no trace of you anywhere to be seen. Had you been that forgettable? Foggy’s there, Marci a step behind holding a beautiful little girl with ribbons in her hair. They had a baby? You’ve missed so much.

You start weeping for the life you’d missed out on, for the chances and opportunities of growing older with them and the sweet potential you had had with Matt.

Gone.

All of it, just—gone.

Where would you be now had your soul not been chosen? Married? Promoted? A godmother to the sweet little angel cradled in Marci’s arms? 

“Sweetheart, come back to me,” Matt’s voice cuts through your despair, low and soft in your ear and you cling to him tighter, “breathe. I’ve got you, I’m here.”

“I-I’ve lost so much,” you choke out, hiding your tear stricken face in his throat and desperately trying to get ahold of your body jerking with each difficult inhale and broken exhale, “and I didn’t even know—”

You didn’t know. You didn’t know anything when you apparently ‘returned’. It’s all so haunting and overwhelming and so fucking confusing. 

He stills smells the same, feels the same, despite all these years. You cling to him, desperate for comfort in the moment of your utter heartbreak, but it doesn’t work like it used to and that only makes your pain increase tenfold. His hold feels wrong now. His hold isn’t for you anymore. He has a wife.

You still don’t understand. You can’t comprehend the fact that he’s married, that the arms that hold you are now meant for someone else. They were yours this morning. It’s not possible. You had him this morning; you felt him this morning, you kissed him—

“Sweetheart,” he’s urgent now, manoeuvring you in his hold until you sit in front of him, your back pressed up against his chest and his arms tight around your torso, “breathe with me. Feel my chest, listen to me and follow—in… and out. Come on—”

You pay attention to the exaggerated feel of him breathing against your back, focusing on every expansion of his chest and attempting to match the pace of your inhales. It doesn’t work. Your heart still thunders away against your ribs, your mind still runs fucking wild, and your eyes threaten to roll back from the rush of it all.

“Stay with me,” he begs, but his voice starts to sink to the back of your mind, taken over by the high pitched ring sounding in your ears.

It’s not long until black fully engulfs your vision, and Matt’s voice calling your name is the last thing you hear, frantic and terrified. Maybe you'll find peace in the darkness.

-

matty tags: @javier-pena, @dihra-vesa, @a-reader-and-a-writer, @radiowallet, @januarystears, @danidrabbles, @amneris21, @acourtofsnakes, @mstgsmy66, @evyiione, @stardust-galaxies, @kelseyxyeslek, @greeneyedblondie44, @you-got-me-starry-eyed, @withasideofmeg, @mad-girl-without-a-box, @fangirl-316, @xoxabs88xox, @federleichtefreiheit, @lavenderluna10, @mindidjarin. @stardustingold, @androah, @itwasthereaminuteago, @wildmoonflower, @naughtynecromancer, @h-hxgirl, @Unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men, @juletheghoul, @punkerthanpascal, @itswanktime, @omlwhatamidoinghere, @celestinemuse, @chaoticemz, @alexxavicry, @mylifeispainandiloveit, @cran-berry-vodka, @nishi-reads, @mandocrasis, @lawfulgranola, @ew-erin, @fuckoffbard, @spaceserialkiller, @captain-jebi

[dreamcatcheratdawn]

Luffy x mermaid reader please

I'm so happy to see this I've set the story as the Fishman Island arc, for an equally obvious reason. In advance, I hope you enjoy the story ( ꈍᴗꈍ). And, I don't know who made this amazing fanart one, but if you do, please let me know immediately so that I can give due credit.

"Like Ocean"

Luffy x Fem!Reader

Warning: nothing, just fluffy.

You were living another monotonous day on Fish Man Island, trying to find any crumb or spark of adventure to give you a good laugh and a bit of adrenaline. Pappag and Camie tried to cheer you up with the idea of shopping and eating Hachi's takoyakis, but you had done the same thing three days ago.

It wasn't a certainty, it was a pure fact that nothing interesting was happening on this island for you. Until you, exhausted by boredom, went to Camie's house to see if she had any news. And that was a great idea, a really great idea.

As soon as you entered her house after a couple of knocks, you saw that there were three people and a strange being, apparently new to the area. On closer inspection, there was a blond man with elegant hair, who, as soon as he saw you, came running towards you, blood gushing from his nose. Speaking of noses, there was a big-nosed man next to a boy in a straw hat. But none of them interested you. What really caught your attention was the tiny creature that you had no idea what animal it was.

-Is that even an animal? - you asked yourself, your thoughts speaking aloud as you deliberately poked at the creature's antlers.

-I'm a reindeer! - the reindeer exclaimed, backing away from you angrily, covering its antlers with its fluffy paws.

-Y/N, I want you to meet my friends. This is Sanji," Camie approached you, pointing at the blond with the heart eyes.

-Oh, miss, I've never seen beauty as fascinating as yours. When can we get married? - the blond in question asked, kneeling down in front of you and holding out his hand to you.

Camie just laughed, ignoring the whole show, while you followed his finger-pointing.

-That's Chopper over there, isn't he cute? - you went over to the so-called Chopper, pulling his cheeks and feeling his soft fur.

-So cute… - you blushed, pulling Chopper into a hug, to which he responded not very pleasantly.

-That's Ussop, he's got great adventure stories. - the word "adventure" rang an alarm bell in your head, making you turn your head so quickly that anyone watching would be afraid you'd break your neck.

-Ho ho, people keep coming after the great Captain Ussop to hear his fantastic stories. - Ussop struck a superhero pose, as if he were looking towards the horizon.

-Captain Ussop, can you tell me about your adventures? - you asked, hoping to get a positive response from the big nose.

-Oh, but of course, I'll always be available to tell you all sorts of stories about my adventures! - he thickened his voice, nodding outrageously to say the least.

You were delighted, excitement electrifying every part of your body.

-Finally, this is Luffy, the captain of the gang. - Camie concluded, pointing to the boy who was looking at you, grinning from ear to ear.

On closer inspection, you found the brunette attractive, not to mention handsome, right off the bat.

-And I'm going to be king of the pirates! - Luffy concluded, his smile widening, his eyes closed tightly, making him cuter by the second. "So they're pirates," you concluded, thinking. Incredibly, that line moved you, burned you up inside, but you didn't know why or how. It was the first time you'd felt your heart beat so fast in so long. Oh, and that wasn't adrenaline. It wasn't the fear of being caught. It wasn't any of those things. It was something different, quite different from the usual. And from that moment on you silently decreed that you would find out what that strange feeling was, your eyes focused only on Luffy, who never tired of smiling at you.

-Nice to meet you - you smiled, Chopper kicking you in the face begging you to let go while sparks flew from his eyes from staring at Luffy.

-Hihihihi - Luffy just found the situation amusing, always smiling as long as he could.

-What about walking around? There's a lot of cool stuff you need to see! - Camie decreed, already tugging at her colleagues' hands, you going along out of sheer instinct for fun.

You all visited Pappag's clothing store, and you even met other members of Luffy's gang, who were just as kind. As you looked around, Luffy made a point of always catching your eye in any way, with anything. From some stuffed animal that, according to him, looked like you, to how the food was prepared, and even though you knew all this, you lent yourself to learning it all over again, just for Luffy.

-Look, it suits you. - Luffy came up behind you, putting on a straw hat with a purple scarf adorning the hat. - Now we're matching - he said, standing behind you and putting his hands on your shoulders, smiling as you looked at yourselves in the mirror in front of you. - Isn't it?

You agreed slowly, fascinated by Luffy's pure beauty. And it didn't stop there. Everywhere you went, Luffy always kept those warm hands on your shoulders, clinging to you like a tick. Did he… Liked you? Or was it just a figment of your mind?

After a whirlwind of confusion that you unfortunately didn't take part in because you were "investigating" the sudden disappearance of your mermaid friends, you were directed by your pet seahorse to where Camie and the others were.

Your eyes popped out of their sockets at the sight of a giant mermaid, or rather, the princess of the Ryugu Kingdom, Shirahoshi.

She and Luffy were laughing together, like old friends seeing each other after so long. That unsettled you, and strangely your heart squeezed. What could it be? Were you ill? Something you ate or drank for breakfast?

-Oi, Y/N, over here! - Luffy's voice caught your attention, making your heart pound. It made you recall a vague memory of something Pappag told you.

"If your heart races when you interact with someone, it's because you like them."

Of course, you were inexperienced in this field, you'd never even considered dating. But you didn't give up easily. Oh no, you'd figure it out on your own.

Swimming over to Luffy quickly, you sat there, next to him. He was in a bubble to make sure he didn't drown, and quickly slung his arms over your shoulders, resting right there. He introduced you to the princess, to whom she was delighted to meet you, and you felt the same.

Looking around, you saw that you were in the sea forest, and it soon became clear that both Luffy's boat was there, and also the princess wanted to see her dead mother, to make up for the time she hadn't been able to see her.

Meanwhile, Luffy was already snoring on her lap. It was adorable to see him so vulnerable around you. Until his pet seahorse started to catch his eye, heading towards the pile of coral.

-What is it, Koryu? - you asked him, watching him point frantically at the pile of coral.

Koryu gave up and started pulling you towards it, waking Luffy up in the process. Koryu only let go of your arm when you could see a dolphin calf with its tail all bruised to the point where it could no longer swim. Perhaps the dolphin had run into predators and narrowly escaped.

You carefully picked up the dolphin and put it on your lap, and thought of a way to take care of it. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn't even see Luffy coming.

-Huh, a dolphin? - he asked, right next to your ear. You turned abruptly, so that your faces were right next to each other. Your lips were millimeters away from meeting, and your breaths danced together. Let's pretend there isn't a bubble separating you. You turned your attention to the dolphin, your heart almost bursting out of your mouth and your face turning into a blushing mess.

-A-ah, yes it's a…dolphin. He's hurt, so he needs to be looked after.

There was a moment of silent tension between you, and you wouldn't dare look at Luffy's face now, you felt like you could die from an attack if you did.

-If you keep avoiding looking at me like that, you'll never know if you really like me. - Luffy said, catching your eye. You widened your eyes, and turned to him, shocked.

-How did you know? - you asked, your stomach churning with that familiar feeling.

-Well, it's easy to tell when you keep saying your thoughts out loud. - he shrugged, smiling.

You closed your mouth, cursing internally. That was your weakest point, speaking your thoughts out loud without even realizing it. You must have done it at some point when the two of you were together and he must have heard it. Lucky you.

-Well, I like you. - Luffy said without blinking, giving you a quick kiss right after he declared himself.

It caught you off guard, and he just smiled, leaving the pile of coral and going back to where the others were. After your brain short-circuited for a few seconds, you smiled, bringing your fingers to your lips, where seconds ago they were being kissed by the first boy you ever liked.

Feeling his lips was the thing that gave you the most adrenaline in your entire life. And yes, it was addictive. And yes, you wanted more.

The truth is, Luffy, from the first moment he met you, he liked you. No, that's incorrect. He fell in love with you from the very first moment. Of course, he didn't know the first thing about love, God, hours ago he just wanted to be king of the pirates. Now he has another goal, and that goal is to love you until the day he die.

(At some point I was even going to describe the color of the tail, but I left it to your imagination)

[zenkindoflove]

So for the last two weeks I've been really contemplating my writing goals for the year. Reevaluating what makes me happy and what is intrinsically motivating. Gonna ramble a bit under the read more. But the jist is I'll be taking a fanfiction hiatus.

After I finished Let the Light Linger - I sort of had a bit of a crisis and needed to have a come to Jesus moment.

I started writing fanfiction again in October of 2023 because I was really pulled into Elucien and missed writing. Needless to say, the last year and a half I went hard. Harder than I ever have before. I wrote almost 500k words of fanfic and it was all really fun and exhilarating.

About 6 months ago though, I think a shift happened.

My desire to write canon compliant Elucien has been waning. I've done a lot of it, and told their story multiple times. And what I've realized is that ultimately I'm a lot more motivated to write Eris and Alexius or explore little weird AUs for Elucien instead like I did with Carrion Flowers.

And what that made me realize is that I'm not really interested so much in writing fanfic anymore. But rather - I'm more interested in writing original fiction (or Amanda universe fic lol). I think I keep setting up these new ideas and new WIPs distracting me because I've been nervous about going in that direction.

The fact that I want to live in my own world more - with my own OCs or my own heavily altered versions of minor characters like Eris - is really evidence that what I'm doing is not really writing fanfic anymore. But instead trying to fit my own original ideas into the fanfic medium because it's where I'm comfortable.

I think the biggest evidence was toggling between Let the Light Linger and Shackled. Shackled is doing really well in terms of popularity. Which I'm very grateful for. But I kept finding myself wanting to rush through writing chapters so I can write Let the Light Linger instead - which comparatively speaking is not popular at all. It's on par for how my Erixius fics tend to do but the audience for Eris x Male OC is small. And part of me was becoming a little resentful because I wanted my Eris x OC stuff to be as loved because I know it's excellent work.

And then I realized - you dummy. Of course people want to read your Elucien fic more. That is what an ACOTAR fanbase wants. It's what we are all here for. To explore the possibilities of the canon characters we already like. Which is something I had always known and rationalized and made peace with. But suddenly my emotions weren't fitting what I already knew. And I think that was the final push I needed to know that I am ready to write original work now.

It's time to follow what really is driving me instead of what I assume is expected of me. So, for now, my fanfic Shackled will be on hiatus. I might update it now and again if I'm feeling particularly motivated, but I really want to focus more of my time working on an original book. And probably what I'll do is take a lot of the hard work creating OCs that I've done in my Erixius fics and adapt them to this new world. Alexius especially deserves to live in his own space now. And my Eris is really an amalgamation of other characters that I've loved before that are like him. So needless to say, who I create for Alexius is going to be very similar 😂. Alexius needs a grumpy guy to his sunshine.

I certainly won't be leaving the fandom because I need this ding dong Elucien book. And I'll still be reading fanfic and replying to anyone who does go and read my works and leaves comments. And you might get surprise chapter updates or oneshots from me if I'm feeling any of that motivation. But regular updates won't be happening anymore.

[eyelessfaces]

I'll be the silence ringing through and through and through

santiago garcia x reader

summary: if santi had it his way, he would be back home, with you, his mouth on your neck or something of that kind– it would have been possible, a few months ago. or in some alternate universe where he hadn’t fucked it all up. in short; santi wants you back.

warnings: mentions of a breakup but no reason is mentioned, alcohol consumption

tags: f!reader, exes to lovers, inevitable angst, fluff

word count: 1.7k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

happy new year!!!! randomly dropping a santi fic to start it right hhhh

fic title is from the song "heart to heart" by fiddlehead :)

reblogs and feedback are extremely (I cannot stress this enough) appreciated!!

If Santi had it his way, he would be back home, with you, his mouth on your neck or something of that kind–

It would have been possible, a few months ago.

Or in some alternate universe where he hadn’t fucked it all up, and where he would be holding you by the waist and kissing your cheek instead of having to watch you from afar, scrutinizing every littlest movement of yours while he was slumped in Frankie’s couch, like an hermit, feeling helpless, the neck of his beer being the only thing to kiss his lips tonight.

Maybe it was just the alcohol, maybe everything would seem way less dramatic tomorrow, save for the hangover headache – but no, scratch that, he wasn’t even drunk, just barely tipsy, so no, tomorrow won’t be better.

It must be the sight of you laughing at another man’s joke then, probably.

Was he hitting on you? Was he just a friend, like Benny, Will and Frankie were to you? 

He shouldn’t care; that wasn’t his business, that wasn’t his problem. Not anymore. Not that he had been the kind to carefully observe your every movement any time you talked to another man back when you were together. He had never really been of that kind, he trusted you.

Except here, right now, it was his problem. For some reason, it felt like it was, and even more than before, when you were still together.

Because now that you didn’t love him anymore, there was nothing to stop you from doing anything with that man.

Would that man fill the hole Santi had left in your heart? Would he make you happier than Santi ever had? 

Probably. He was probably a good man, would be a good boyfriend, wouldn’t fuck everything up. Would probably even marry you, and he’d be damn right to.

“He’s gay” Will snorts, plopping down next to Santi, giving a small pat to his chest. Santi’s gaze finally departs from you to turn to his right, where his friend has settled next to him.

“Good to know, but I‘m not interested in him,” Santi jokes, looking down at his half full beer. Half empty.

“That, I know.” Will cocks his head to the side, a more serious expression over his face as he brings his beer to his mouth. Santi’s gaze darts back to you and that man talking, a sick feeling filling his stomach as he sees you smile and shake your head frantically just the way you used to when he would come up with a shitty joke. “I’m like, eighty three percent sure she’s still in love with you.” Will speaks again, nudging Santi’s knee with his own.

“Seventeen percent of what?” Santi chuckles, more convinced that the rest of that percentage is the most important part.

“Seventeen percent of, you still fucked up, man.” Will says, patting Santi’s knee before getting up from the couch, already. “I’m not good at math dude, but all I can tell you is, it’s worth trying again!” he declares over the music, pointing at Santi before disappearing through the crowd. 

Easier said than done.

Santi sighs, bites the inside of his cheek as he runs a hand over his few days old stubble. 

He had never had any issue talking to people with ease, but for some reason, the idea of talking to you tonight seemed like the most intimidating thing he ever had to do in his entire life.

But god, did he want to look at you in the eyes again. To have you make that focused frown whenever you were attentively listening to someone. To see the way your lips curled up into a smile when you could pre shot a joke, and the way you still pretended not to know what the punchline was, and still ended up laughing.

Santi smiles to himself, finishes his beer, and when he looks up, you’re not in the crowd anymore. Then Benny joins him when he goes to the kitchen for a refill, and you happen to slip out of his mind for the time being. 

—

The air is crisp, compared to the smothering heat inside. It tickles your cheeks, the tip of your ears, it hits every exposed area of skin, the sweat over it now feeling ice cold.

It’s all you needed and wanted, so you shouldn’t complain.

You walk back and forth along Frankie’s porch, the overwhelming feeling of the slight tipsiness and the fast beating of your heart simmering down, and you lean against the wall, taking a deep breath. 

You turn at the sound of the door opening beside you, the loud, previously muffled sound of the music now clear, ending up face to face with the one person you did your best to not go talk to all night long.

“Shit, sorry. I’ll go” Santi apologizes, still firmly holding the doorknob, starting to go back inside.

“No, no, it’s alright” you say, inviting him to stay with you. “I didn’t privatize the porch” you joke, giving him an awkward smile.

He chuckles as he tentatively steps outside, closing the door behind him, leaning his back against the wall beside you. Neither of you say a single word for a while, then he looks over at you, and you can feel the weight of his gaze on you. “I assumed you wouldn’t wanna see me.” he finally declares, making you scoff and shrug.

“I actually don’t mind,” you say, looking over at him. He’s now looking ahead, a small pinched smile over his lips. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip before looking back at you.

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Fair enough, you are one.” you immediately sigh, looking away. His gaze is too heavy. “I loved you.” the knot inside your throat tightens only after you pronounce the words, thankfully.

He swallows hard, a shiver running down his spine. It’s not the cold air’s doing. He stares deeply at you, watching you doing your best not to look at him.

“I know.” 

The atmosphere hangs heavily as the awkwardness takes over. The silence lingers, punctuated only by the sounds of the night around you. 

He pushes himself away from the wall, taking a step closer and turning to look at you, forcing the both of you to truly establish eye contact for the first time tonight.

"I fucked up, I know," he admits, his voice low and filled with remorse. "But I never meant to hurt you." he shakes his head. “Ever.”

You blink, your gaze tearing from his. "You did anyway," you reply, your tone tinged with a mixture of bitterness and sadness. The memories of the pain he caused are still fresh, wounds not fully healed. 

He runs a hand over his stubble, a nervous habit you remember all too well. "I know I can't change anything that I did, but I want you to know that I'm sorry."

Your eyes meet his own again, searching for sincerity. "It doesn't fix everything," you say, your guard still up. 

He nods understandingly. "I just needed to tell you, and to let you know I haven't stopped thinking about you."

The vulnerability in his gaze begins to chip away at your defenses. Despite the hurt, a part of you softens. "Santi–”

He cuts you off– "I've been thinking, and you know I don’t do it often” he jokes, scoffing. “And I realized how much I lost when I let you go." 

A wave of internal conflict washes over you. Your past relationship is a heavy burden you’re carrying, and you’re not sure you should grant him your forgiveness, yet there's a glimmer of something in his eyes that translates his genuine desire for redemption, and there’s some part of you that craves everything you had with him.

“Please,” he starts, his gaze chasing yours as he softly holds onto your wrist. “Please give me a second chance”

His plea hangs in the air, and you can feel the sincerity in his touch. The warmth of his hand on your wrist is a rough contrast to the chill in the night air. You sigh, and look away, torn between the pain of the past and the possibility of a different future. The silence stretches painfully, and you can hear the faint sounds of the night around you – a distant car passing by, the rustle of leaves in the breeze.

A shiver shakes through you, the brown of his eyes seeming deeper than usual, softer as he silently begs for you to say something.

“Second and last chance” you finally declare, refusing to give up on everything you’ve done to try to get over him, yet indulging in everything you’ve ever wanted since you’ve been apart. 

He nods silently, his hand leaving your wrist to settle at the juncture between your neck and shoulder. “Okay. Alright. I won’t need another one” he promises confidently, the frown over his face eventually softening. You smile as his thumb gently rubs over your now cold skin.

“Alright, but you gotta kiss me for it to take effect” you tease as you break the tense atmosphere, readjusting your position onto your feet and placing your hands at either side of his neck. His skin is warm, and you feel his muscles contract under your hands when he laughs.

“Good thing I’ve been wanting to do it all night long” he smirks before leaning in and pressing his lips against yours, smiling as you sigh into the kiss. This is it; you feel complete again. 

He tastes of booze, and his light stubble slightly stinging when he moves are surprisingly pleasant. Your hand shifts to rest at the back of his neck, feeling his scar here, his own hands pulling you closer at the waist where he squeezes lightly when you run your other hand through his short hair.

You pull away only once it becomes necessary, the lack of oxygen making you all giddy though you’re not sure it’s just it. Santi is still holding you close as he presses his warm lips over your forehead, laughing when a shiver runs through your spine and makes you jolt. 

“Alright” he declares as he strips himself of his jacket, pulling it over your shoulders.

“You already pulled this trick on our first date” you scoff, looking over at him. A sly smirk grows over his face as you adjust the jacket over your shoulders.

“...And it worked, didn’t it?”

—

reblogs and feedback are extremely (I cannot stress this enough) appreciated!!

triple frontier taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @alexxavicry @grxywindd @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @dameronshandholder @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @luxisluxurious @dowbastan

[nonotnolan]

No Not Nolan's Year in Review

Once again, it's time for the traditional "year in review" post. Since I've also been collecting prior years in these posts: here's 2021, here's 2022, and here's 2023. This year has more than 12 posts, and that's because I posted a few shorter stories to celebrate the release of my eBook.

I'm not planning to abandon this account anytime soon, but I'd be lying if the thought hadn't occurred to me once or twice. Every year I'm not sure how much longer I'll be doing this, but then every year the support and feedback I receive keeps me going. So if you ever wonder if notes and reblogs help-- yes, they do motivate me to keep going. But more than that, I'd encourage you to message the authors directly. I'm not always the best at carrying a conversation, but it really does mean a lot whenever I hear from you all.

17) Side Effects - 71 notes - January 2024 Okay, well... I like this one. If you've already caused a lot of irreversible damage... why stop now?

16) Labor and Materials - 83 notes - December 2023 Sometimes I can just sort of tell the photos aren't what the average people are wanting, but I like the text too much to toss out the idea. Mass commercialization of body swapping isn't a new idea by any means, but I love exploring all of the low stakes uses and scenarios that would appear if that technology existed.

15) Shapeshifter's Night Out - 111 notes - January 2024 Honestly, this one was mostly just an excuse to pull out a few of the weirder photos I'd come across. I think it holds up well enough, though.

14) Fiverr Warlock: Holiday Magic - 183 notes - December 2023 The thing about the Fiverr Warlock series is that a lot of story ideas work better without the added baggage of the lore and narrator. This one holds up pretty well, and the photos do exactly what I need them to do, so I'm quite fond of it.

13) The Ends Justify The Means - 204 notes - February 2024 See, I thought this one was great, especially for the Valentine's Holiday. Sometimes I have no idea what the average reader wants from me, and this is a prime example of that. No regrets, though. I'm never going to apologize for striking more sentimental than erotic.

12) Jock Cock, Part 3 - 219 notes - July 2024 Speaking of which... I can't be too surprised something this sentimental didn't do better. But I still love it, and I don't feel bad about it. (It does, however, make me less inclined to write sequels to other works. My idea about how the story continues vs how people want me to continue the story are seldom in alignment.)

11) Drawing Straws - 235 notes - January 2024 I love trait swapping, and I wish I could get inspired to use it more often. I have to be satisfied with an idea before I'll set it to the page-- it needs to have some amount of characterization and plot outside of "hot guy does a hot thing and it's hot" for me to be happy with it-- so trait swaps don't happen too often for me.

10) Treat Day - 241 notes - January 2024 This is my least favorite of the 5 promo-stories, so naturally it's the one that received the most notes. Revenge swaps are hit or miss for me, but needlessly cruel swaps seldom appeal to me. I like the photos, I like the ending wordplay, but overall it's not one of my favorites.

9) Swap Broker: Social Climbing - 250 notes - October 2024 If there's any story whose low placement on the list hurts to see, it's this one-- I absolutely love this one. Photos, concept, resolution, all of it. Ahh, well. A few people asked me what happened to the original Aiden, which I don't have much interest in writing, but... his father would have given him a one time chunk of hush money, which he would have burned through in a matter of months, at which point he'd probably be forced to start doing hard work for the first time in his life. It's not a happy outcome, which is why it's not a story I'm particularly interested in telling.

8) Jock Cock, Part 2 - 285 notes - June 2024 Like I mentioned for Part 3-- I don't regret writing it, even if I don't quite understand why it wasn't as well received. I'm not sorry for mixing sincere emotions into your casual smut-- it was intentional, and it will happen again. Also I've been doing it for the past 5 years, so presumably you noticed me doing that at least once before? I'm sure it's not a photo issue. Anyway.

7) Spring Break - 313 notes - March 2024 I love it when both parties can get what they want out of a body swap. I've had quite a few stories involving out of touch rich people, now that I think about it-- but then, every idea has already been done before if you simplify it enough.

6) Bodily Betrayal - 319 notes - December 2024 I'm so thrilled to be working with photo-manip artists for future detachable limb stories. You all may not be bothered by my attempts to create suitable pictures, but I definitely am. I mean, look at these pics-- head/body swap? Headless with head in hand? I wouldn't have been able to do that without a lot of practice and training.

5) Trial Period - 351 notes - November 2024 I don't do much with ghosts, and I'm honestly not planning to change that anytime soon. Still, I love the idea of supernatural entities shopping around to choose their next host.

4) This Happens all the Time, It's Detachable - 376 notes - August 2024 This is another one that I absolutely adore, and as a bonus it's a detachable story that requires no photo-manip work whatsoever. Obviously, I had to go with the King Missile reference in the title.

3) Roommate Rehab - 407 notes - April 2024 I still think my photo-manip work is clunky, but it gets the job done, and that's what matters. The interesting thing about writing more detachable works is that I'm really not familiar with any of the tropes. I'm so used to subverting expectations when I write body swap fiction, but it's a lot harder to subvert tropes that I don't know.

2) Rush Week - 512 notes - September 2024 I'm glad this one did well, because it's definitely a lot more vulnerable than what I normally write. It's equal parts sincere and sexy, and I adore it. The thought of what stays with the body and what stays with the mind is one of my favorite concepts to explore with body swapping. On a different tangent, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be to find good photos for a twink model that pass tumblr guidelines.

1) Jock Cock, Part 1 - 732 notes - May 2024 This story came out of nowhere and completely surpassed all of my expectations. I have no idea what it is about this story that appealed to so many people-- probably obvious, given how few notes the other parts pulled. Is it the photos? The idea of using an athlete's body for sex without him knowing? Unfulfilled sex-with-teacher fantasies? I sure as hell don't know. Whatever the reason, I'm flattered.

Above 500 Notes - All Time

1) Jock Cock, Part 1 - 732 notes - May 2024 2) Soulmate Swap - 704 notes - August 2022 3) Gym Merchandise - 654 notes - September 2022 4) Overbearing - 572 notes - May 2022 5) Finals Week - 568 notes - May 2021 6) Group Project - 566 notes - November 2023 6) Revenge, Reversed - 540 notes - August 2020 7) Rookie Mistake - 530 notes - May 2023 8) Rush Week - 512 notes - September 2024 8) Information Overload - 501 notes - August 2021

Well, Jock Cock Part 1 has officially dethroned... uhh, literally everything else. Finals Week, my first piece to break the 500 notes mark, is quickly dropping out of the top 5. And some of these works received random resurgences several months (or years!) later, so that's always fun to see.

Enough time has passed that I have a sort of note rubric to determine success. Anything below 100 notes, I consider flopped. 100-300 is average, and 300-500 is a success. So to have this many stories above 500? It feels pretty good.

Here's hoping next year will see more additions to this list!

Special Mentions

Reunion - 151 notes - February 2024 Once again, @mergeman and I wrote each other stories for Valentine's Day. I do really love the idea of a support group for people affected by body swaps.

I'm always honored whenever I end up tagged in someone's recommended post, and @sanzaibian 's compliment of "someone who writes really sweet love stories ^^" is no exception.

Also, like I said earlier-- I live for compliments and discussion, both given and received. If you've dropped a line or responded to one of my outreach attempts, I appreciate you. If we've talked in the past but it's been a few months since you or I sent the last message-- I'm too ADHD for friendships that follow the constraints of linear time. If we go months between messages, know that I still appreciate you.

Is it too cheesy to end this with a "thanks for viewers like you" sentiment? Maybe, but I'm doing it anyway. I'd be having these ideas with or without an outlet for sharing them, so I really do appreciate the likes and reblogs. Here's to another year!

[my-husbandos-wifey]

KUROO X FEM Reader

Synopsis: Being Kuroo's friend is fun as he was a great friend and captain of Nekoma. But you're a friend and that's it. You helped him with the girl he likes and stayed, offering a shoulder to lean after he got rejected.

A/N: So English is not my first language so pardon my grammatical errors.

******

"C/N birthday is next week. I need your help for picking gifts for her." Kuroo said as he continues to eat his ice cream. The two of you were in the park in the neighborhood, he texted you to go there and he started to rant about his crush.

He's so in love with that girl but neither of you know if she feels the same.

As his friend you need to help him but it hurts helping him to get close to another girl when you're already with him all this time. Still, as his friend, you'll support him whatever makes him happy.

"What is her interest?" You asked about eating your ice cream glancing at him.

"She's into arts. I heard she's part of the art club." He replied. That made you pause. How similar does this girl have with you? "What a coincidence. I'm into arts as well." You commented making him look at you.

"I didn't know that," he said eyeing you up. "Why did you not join the art club instead of the volleyball team?" He asked with curiosity.

"Every artist will feel the same pressure to be in the same room as people who are better than them in something they're passionate about." You explained before sighing as he continued to eat his ice cream. "Buy her gouache, paint brushes or watercolor papers." You recommend.

"She already has those." He said with disdain.

"New art materials never fail to make an artist fall in love." You defended. It's true tho. One of the best feelings you had is when your parents bought you materials instead from your own allowance.

"But I already have an idea..."

"Why did you ask me to come here in the first place?" You asked with a frown.

"I need your help" he answered. "I was thinking of a necklace."

You eyed him up and huffed. "I sometimes forget you're still a guy." You said in disbelief as sighed. But still, you can't help but feel the world smashing itself against your shoulders. How hard is it to be just a friend? To be just someone you know you are to them?

He looked at you, "what do you mean?"

"She's into art. Why get her something that she doesn't like?" You asked unfazed.

"Well.. I just thought that she would love it since it has her favorite gemstone color," Kuroo explained with a hopeful expression hoping it's a great idea.

You felt a sudden feeling to smack his head but you stopped yourself and shook your head. "True but, scale it. What do you think she would like more? A necklace that can be tossed around and forgotten or art materials that she can use on paintings that could last for years?" You questioned with raised eyebrows.

That took Kuroo back as he thought for a moment. "That makes sense..." A smile creeps in his lips as he looks at you waiting for another suggestion. "Any more ideas to get since you're the expert?"

You wanted to curse the world out loud for making Kuroo so irresistible. He looked so in love right now and the admiration in his eyes by just merely thinking about the girl. How come can this be your situation?

"Make her paper flowers." You suggested.

"Alright I can do that." He replied leaning back the bench again with determination already picture the whole thing in his head.

You tossed the ice cream on the trash can and smiled. "Goodluck Mr. Romantiko". You patted his shoulder and stood up.

Kuroo stares at you, "why did you throw the ice cream?"

"I have to eat dinner, idiot." You replied, lying that you don't really have the appetite to finish the whole thing. "I'll get going now. Goodluck."

"I will." Kuroo said, "See ya."

******

A week later you gave the flower and the gifts but you heard from your teammates that he got rejected. You went to Kenma first and asked him about the matter.

You sat beside Kenma in the quiet corner of the gym, watching others continue to practice. Kuroo is in the locker room. The coach noticed his change of demeanor. Everyone did.

"Hey, Kenma," you started, hesitant. "Did you hear… about Kuroo?"

"He got rejected, right?"

"Yeah…" You shifted uncomfortably, the weight of concern pressing down on you. "He seemed… pretty down about it." You added concern.

You bit your lip with worry as you glance at Kenma. "Do you think… he’ll be okay?"

Kenma studied you for a moment, taking in the unease you were trying to mask. He knew how you felt about Kuroo. It wasn’t like he missed much, but he’d never say anything. He's quiet yes but he observes people. He's not oblivious as Kuroo is. And besides, it's not his place to interfere, he thought. Still, he knew what you were really asking.

"He’ll be fine," Kenma answered, his tone matter of fact, as if he were stating the obvious. "Kuroo always bounces back. It’s just… how he is."

You nodded, though it didn't do much about your concern about him. "I know. It’s just… hard to watch, you know?"

Kenma shrugged. "Maybe. But if he really liked her… he’ll have to deal with it on his own." He paused, then added quietly, "You worrying won’t change that."

After that, you talked to the coach and asked the permissions to let Kuroo go home earlier today. Coach Nekomata agreed but he made you go with him to check on him. He needs Kuroo back, he's the captain of the team after all. What will happen to the team if the captain is unwell?

You knocked on the door first before walking inside the locker room. "Yo captain." You greeted. You found him sitting on a bench as he stared into the floor.

Kuroo looked at you and forced a smile. "What's up?"

You could feel how your heart tightened. God... He looked so out of himself. How can that girl affect him so much? It's rare for you to see Kuroo like this. You wanted to push yourself into his arms but you can't.

"Quit that smile. It doesn't suit you." You commented.

He sighed. "Better?" He frowned.

"Want some ice cream?" You asked with a hopeful smile for him to say yes.

"I don't really feel like eating ice cream right now," Kuroo answered. "But thank you for the offer."

"How about a ramen?" You asked again.

"I don't feel like eating anything right now.." Kuroo said, looking away. Kuroo also felt like crying, but he didn't want to cry in front of you.

You're not oblivious to the tension he was feeling and the emotion. You know your place and limit. He doesn't need a lover right now, he needs you, his friend. You knelt your one knee in front of him and cupped his cheek. Before you started to like him. You're his friend until now and maybe forever. Kuroo looked at you with a blank expression trying to hide his pain.

Kuroo sighed. "I just don't get what I did wrong.. I tried everything, I tried making her the best paper flower bouquet, writing her romantic poems and love letters.. I even gave her the best art supplies for her birthday and it still didn't work.. I'm nothing but a failure..." He trailed and looked away.

"Hey, listen to me. Just because she rejected you doesn't mean you failed. It's just because she appreciates your feelings but maybe she has a reason. She may be like another guy or she's focused on her studies. Kuroo... You're a great person and always remember that. Your life didn't end when she rejected you ." You caressed his cheek with an assuring smile.

Kuroo, who got his face caressed by you, felt that warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. Kuroo looked away, blushing slightly from your words and touch. His expression changed from a broken one into a shy but flustered one. The pain he felt in his chest from heartbreak melted away and he had another feeling in his chest. One that made him feel different but in a good way. Now his chest felt light and his heart felt fluttery from your words and touch.

"Oi--- now change your clothes. I asked coach to let you leave early. You can go home now." You patted his cheek before standing up.

"Oh.. alright," Kuroo said softly. Kuroo stood up and watched you as left the changing room. Kuroo just stared ahead of him. He looked at the floor, his heart beating quickly. He was blushing a bit, but he tried to cover it. Kuroo felt confused why he was feeling like this, but he didn't question it. Kuroo grabbed his stuff and changed.

Kuroo walked out wearing his school uniform. He stared at you and the team, watching you as you were helping the teammates with practice. Kuroo's heart felt warm, the feeling he had from your touch earlier hasn't gone away and his cheeks were still tinted pink.

You glanced in hus direction and went to you. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," Kuroo replied, a bit flustered from your glance. Kuroo walked over to you while waving goodbye to the rest of the team.

_________________

On your way, I glanced at the sunset. "Feeling better?"

"Y-Yeah," Kuroo said softly. His heart was beating quickly and his cheeks were still rosy. Kuroo couldn't understand what he was feeling, but he thought that maybe it was because you showed him comfort.

"You know maybe it's not your time yet for your lovelife." You said with wonder.

"It's probably not," Kuroo agreed, looking down as you two walked out of the school. "But still, it hurts," Kuroo said with a frown on his face as he walked beside you.

You patted his shoulder. "It's all gonna be fine."

Kuroo sighed. "Thanks..." Kuroo said. The two of you walked in the streets as the wind was blowing. Kuroo's face wasn't sad or anything, it was blank and he was a bit quiet. Kuroo glanced at you, but looked away after a few seconds.

"Hm? Do I have something in my face?" You asked confused as you looked at the car parked beside the road.

"Oh, um.. no," Kuroo said, shaking his head before looking away. Kuroo's heart was still racing and he felt confused as to what was happening to him.

"Let's get you an ice cream I know you don't feel like eating but I wanted so it's on me." You suddenly said dismissing the fact that he reject the idea earlier.

"Ice cream sounds nice right now," Kuroo said with a small smile. "But are you sure? You don't have to spend anything on me.." Kuroo said.

"Shhh I'm your friend lemme treat your pitiful ass." You said with a mischievous grin and encircled your arms around his neck and pulled him inside the convenience store. Kuroo chuckled as you pulled him inside the convenience store. "Fineee," Kuroo said, a bit flustered from your closeness. Kuroo grabbed an ice cream cone and went over to the counter with you.

You paid for the ice cream as both of you stand outside of the convenience store, eating the ice cream. Kuroo and you were outside of the store. Kuroo started eating his ice cream as he and you continued walking. "She's beautiful..." You whispered.

"Huh? Who?" Kuroo asked. Kuroo thought that you might be talking about the girl he liked.

"The girl you liked. I saw her earlier today... She's really pretty." You continued staring into unknown as the wind blows blowing my hair and the city lights reflecting in my face as you put the popsicle in my mouth.

"Oh.." Kuroo said in response. He stopped eating his ice cream for a few seconds before looking away. Kuroo tried to hide the fact that he felt hurt from rejection when you mentioned the girl he liked. "Yeah.. she is," Kuroo sighed, looking down as he continued to walk. Kuroo's heart felt sinking in his chest when you mentioned her.

You bit the popsicle.

Kuroo was quiet while he was walking. The feeling in his chest hurt and he didn't like it.. After a few minutes of walking with you in silence, Kuroo finished his ice cream cone. Kuroo tossed the cone in the nearby trash can and continued walking with you.

You glanced at him. "Come on, now."

He glanced back at you as the two of you walked. His hands were in his pockets as his uniform moved from the wind. Kuroo didn't say anything as he walked with you, his expression blank while he was still trying to get over the rejection.

Both of you stood under a post light as he tower over you. You stared at his eyes that were starting to get heavy. Your hand immediately went to cup his cheeks.

"Let it out Kuroo... Let it out.." you softly said to him.

Kuroo was surprised by your touch, but he didn't refuse it. Kuroo's eyes widened from your touch on his cheeks and he stood there quietly as you said those words to him. Kuroo's bottom lip was quivering, his emotions were welling up inside of him and he couldn't hold it in any longer. Kuroo hugged you closely as he buried his head into your shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around you, starting to cry.

"Shhh there... Let it out." You patted and caressed your back.

Kuroo's eyes were clenched shut as tears poured down his cheeks, wetting your shoulder. He cried, feeling hurt and upset. Kuroo hugged you tighter and buried his head into your shoulder, crying his eyes out as you comforted him. You hugged him in return.

Kuroo continued to cry in your arms while you hugged him tightly back. Kuroo was shaking slightly from his sobs as he buried his face in your shoulder.

"Hush now... It'll be fine. It's not your fault, you're not likeable or loveable, okay?" You caressed his back. Kuroo slowly calmed down as you comforted him, his sobs turning into sniffles while his eyes were still clenched shut. Kuroo's face was still buried in your shoulder as he sniffled. Kuroo hugged you as he slowly composed himself, his chest rising and falling as he took deep breaths.

You didn't wait for his reply as you wiped his tears away.Kuroo opened his eyes, revealing his glistening eyes from the tears he cried earlier. His face looked a bit puffy from crying and there were tear streaks on his cheeks. Kuroo looked at you and noticed that you were wiping his tears away. Kuroo sniffled softly and blinked a few times.

You continued to wipe it and smiled. "Better or is there more?" You asked.

Kuroo sniffled again before pulling back. "I'm better now.." Kuroo replied, wiping his nose a bit with the back of his hand. He sniffled one more time before looking at you. Kuroo's eyes still glistened with tears within his cheeks.

You chuckled. "I should've let you do this before we grab some ice cream." You said trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Yeah, you should have," Kuroo said, chuckling softly. Kuroo wiped the tear streaks off of his cheeks, clearing up the tear streaks and sniffled one more time. "Thanks for comforting me," Kuroo thanked with a small smile.

Now that's a smile you wanted to always see. "No worries. What kind of friend am I if I don't be there when you need me?"

"A crappy one," Kuroo teased, joking around. Kuroo chuckled lightly. "But really, thank you. I do feel better now.." Kuroo said, putting his hands back in his pockets.

"I do have a question though," Kuroo said, raising an eyebrow. He looked at you with slight confusion.

"Hm?"

"Why.. did you act like this towards me?" Kuroo asked, referring to when you comforted him and gave him some words of encouragement. Kuroo was still confused as to why you hugged him, wiped his tears and said all of those words. Kuroo had a look in his eyes that still showed confusion.

"Because I'm your friend, idiot." You flicked his forehead with a sheepish grin trying to hide the ache when I said 'your friend'.

Kuroo flinched a bit when you flicked him on the forehead, chuckling afterwards. His smile faded a bit when you said 'your friend'. Kuroo still had a feeling of sadness and disappointment deep within him from rejection, but he tried to hide it.

"Now we should get home. It's starting to get cold." You said as you hugged yourself and breathed out.

"Yeah let's go," Kuroo agreed, nodding. Kuroo walked with you in silence, his hands in his pockets and his head facing straight ahead. Kuroo had a small frown on his face while he was walking.

He continue to walk beside you in silence glancing once in a while. You don't want to hope but maybe it's not time for you to intervene or catch the chance to have him. Even if it hurts, you'll stay as his friend if it means to stay at your side longer than you'll be if you confess your feelings.

You stood at the curve towards your neighborhood.

"I'll get going now. Text me or Kenma if you need to talk." You motion your hand into calling with a smile before putting your hands inside the pocket of your jacket and breathed out.

"Alright," Kuroo nodded. "Goodnight.." Kuroo said before turning around and walking in the other direction, towards his home. Kuroo's hands were in his pockets while he walked, a feeling of disappointment was still lingering inside of him but he didn't let it show in his expression. Kuroo's chest felt a slight ache in it when you said goodbye, but he ignored it as he continued walking home.

Here's the part 2:

Update: I'm sorry but idk how to put that thing where you just click the words then you'll get to next part. I've been here for 3 years but I still don't know how😭

Can someone teach me??

[nightwonder7]

Hey! I discovered your Tumblr like, now haha, I loved your art and your Norton AU! I wonder, other than Norton, How did the other survivors and shape-shifting Hunters deal with it? Does Alice also change to Little Girl?

AAaaaahhh I'm so late to this ask! ;<; But thank you so much!! Q////////Q I'm really glad to hear you like it!! ;U;

---------

So I'll just get Orpheus out of the way first; as Novelist and Nightmare had release dates very close to each other, I like to think that he has always had both forms in the eternal manor, and thus didn't really have any learning curves where he had to adapt to another faction. He was the first identity switch character and kinda adjusted to both at the same time with his new living situation.

---------

Luchino and Joker I feel like had a similar experience becoming survivors after being hunters for so long, but handled it differently. So characters with identity switches are often described with the id/ego model, where one side acts on impulse and pleasure, and the other on morals and rationality. Hunters seem to represent the id, and survivors the ego for these guys.

So imagine someone who has been a hunter for a long time suddenly snapping out of this impulsive, freeing mindset when being reminded of their morals and values. I imagine it as a "waking up from a long nightmare" kinda ordeal. They weren't hunters before entering the eternal manor, but were twisted and forced into such roles upon entering for whatever reason. I can see turning into their survivor mindset after so long in chaos as sorta cathartic. But also an emotional roller-coaster. The denial of their new vulnerable position as survivors. Getting used to their old bodies again. The sinking realisation and regrets of everything they have done while being "free" that has gone against their morals and values. Navigating the jungle of gaining trust from the other survivors as well as learning or relearning how to work in teams.

I can see Luchino would approach it as a bit of an experiment. An opportunity to explore his new position with curiosity and fascination and learn from it. He'd probably handle it the best out of everyone tbh. Joker would need a lot more time to adjust to the changes. Perhaps he'd have a long period of being reticent and depressed. In denial while he comes to term with his predicament.

I have gotten a few asks about Luchino's and Joker's identity switches that have given me a few ideas that I intend to draw some day.

---------

This ask came before the announcement of Hullabaloo, but I'll say a few words about him regardless. It's probably similar to Norton as it is a situation of a long term survivor turning into a hunter. But I feel like Mike would have a harder time with it. In Fool's Gold's case, it was gaining the freedom to express all his pent up emotions. He is happy and relieved, albeit on a surface level. Hullabaloo seems like an empty husk, tormented by the pain from a life that imploded. All those negative emotions coming back to him in the eternal manor and twisting him into this wraith-like shape. Perhaps as a hunter he doesn't really realise what he is doing when in a game? In his hunter mindset, he is only focused on bringing justice to his tragedy and doesn't care who it affects. Snapping out of it after a game would be... interesting nonetheless.

Furthermore, Mike was probably more liked by the other survivors than Norton. And he was super popular and loved at the circus. So seeing everyone being suddenly on edge and distrusting of him (maybe even hated) would hit him hard. Whereas Norton was kinda used to people not liking or caring about him.

On a more comedic note, I can definitely see Mike forgetting his dual roles at the manor from time to time. At least the other survivors have learned to play along after all the shenanigans with Fool's Gold.

---------

Now to Alice... so technically in-game, Alice is Memory and vice versa. She is considered an identity switch character. However, I see them as two different entities. My reason for this is that the other identity switch characters have one thing in common; no matter what faction or form they take, they are the same person with the same names. Fool's Gold is Prospector, and he is Norton Campbell. Evil Reptilian is Professor, and he is Luchino Diruse and so on. One represents the ego, while the other represents the id. How others perceive them under the influence of the drugs happens to be the form the id takes. Memory is straight up a hallucination conjured up by Orpheus. She shows up when Orpheus as a detective is alone, so she is not there in place of Alice. Furthermore, Little Girl's name is Memory, not Alice; maybe because she is a memory from Orpheus' psyche. Then there is the whole can of worms of whether Memory is human or not cause she can teleport and sync with other survivors in-game, but I don't know if I can use that as an argument when there are flying lizard-men and humanoid rock piles gfshgfjskd

Though I'll say some of this could change with AoM3. Perhaps the little girl will be how Orpheus sees Alice during this event. But it would be a little odd if that is how he perceives Alice under the influence of the fear drugs, cause Memory is not some scary monster; she is the representation of the past Orpheus is longing for. And perhaps there is another reason for why she goes by a different name than Alice. Furthermore, I feel like we don't know enough about Alice or Memory to pinpoint if Memory really is a part of Alice in the id/ego model, or if she is just an ideal version of Alice in Orpheus' mind. But as things stand now, I'm seeing them as two different entities. In the Eternal Manor AU, Orpheus' imagination is apparently so strong that it has conjured up a whole person.

So yeah... that's the best I can explain my thoughts on this.

[paper-mario-wiki]

hi, i'm not the person who asked you about the life update, but could you elaborate on how being a creator means to live in a world of ideas instead of the real world? i'm just really curious about your reasons for quitting, specially because i want to create things in the future (not necessarily streaming, but anyways), hope you have a good day!

i'll be talking mostly about streaming for the sake of this answer, but this is similarly applicable across a wide range of platforms:

the job of the streamer is, effectively, to be the life of the party every single day. your goal is to be the person that has something interesting to talk about, and is quick with a joke, and has nuanced understandings of certain things, without actually obtaining any sort of "expertise" in anything lest you alienate viewers. short of having a stated goal for a stream, the only goal of the streamer is to let people relax with a voice they enjoy, saying things they like hearing. you can become very strong in different aspects of streaming, like in the production, or as someone who focuses more on a skill they've honed like art or speedrunning, but the demographic of streamers which pulls, by far, the most significant viewership, is personality based streamers.

this becomes more complicated when, for example, you are very interactive with chat, or you stream with multiple people at once. now, to maintain this charismatic sway you have (the one that got you the job in the first place), you must be able to adapt to and bounce off of other people, as you are now no longer performing alone. naturally, there's a need to not only manage your own flow of consciousness, but also to be at least partially in sync with someone else's.

beyond these complications, you must also consider drawing in new viewership. when i was a streamer, i was quite successful, relatively speaking. pulling 300 viewers consistently is something a very slim amount of streamers can actually do, and even then i was still making under 50k a year, which is not bad, but also not good. in paying for my apartment, my insurance, my travel fare, and all the other stuff that living independently draws money out of you with, i was more often in the red than i was in the green. hence, the need to draw in new viewers, which cannot be done without something eye-catching.

think about this: there are, at any given time, TENS OF THOUSANDS of streamers live in your native language on twitch, and they are all FREE TO WATCH. the attention market is sparse because the streamer market is oversaturated. and considering all of THEM want new viewers too, everyone is constantly refining and improving their craft, which requires everyone to move creatively in tandem with each other lest they get left behind.

if you are a streamer making ass-dollars and ass-cents, it becomes easy to begin resenting people like jerma, solely because everything he touches seems to turn to gold. i personally found it easy to feel very disappointed in myself when peoples projects that seemed so simple would take off. it was a constant "why didn't i think of that!" situation, at least for me. and when you don't have the energy to keep that up, or the social stamina necessary to figure that all out while also being upbeat and happy in front of people near daily, it can become very draining.

what i mean specifically when i say the "world of ideas", is like. there would be times where i could schedule out my failures weeks in advance. i'd be so in my own head about the process, i could see the exact path i could see myself taking that would lead me directly to ruin. how playing games i actually enjoyed would steadily drop viewership, or how focusing on my studies would make people forget about me. and of course this is augmented by my anxiety, i know this is absolutely not the case for every streamer, but that overwhelming feeling of needing to find a new game to play, or a new gimmick to use, or a new ploy to get money that doesn't make you feel guilty even though your source of income is mostly queer and mostly poor young adults and your rent is coming up and you're $200 short but you also just had a fundraiser last month about a DIFFERENT emergency but you cant make it a bummer or else people wont want to tune in so you have to make it something fun like "you laugh you lose!" or "$1 art request streams!" while feeling nothing but anxiety while youre trying to sound like youre enjoying yourself even when youre asking 250 people to donate every 30 minutes or so and nobody seems to want to and chat is moving slowly and. and and.

well, it starts to eat away at you.

[natti-ice]

Dream Invader- Castiel.

Pairing: Castiel x fem!reader

Summary: Castiel takes a trip into Y/N’s dream and finds some interesting information

Warnings: written in third person (she/her pronouns) (1.6k words)

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

The Impala drove down a dark road, no other cars for miles. They had just got a case two states over. They had just finished a hunt so they didn't have any time to rest. Dean is in the driver's seat, Sam in the passenger, Y/N in the back passed out. She wasn't new to the game, but it always wore her out like a newbie.

Dean went through all the channels on the radio, either they were static or they were playing some new top 40 song. He wasn't a fan of this new generation's music. He was getting annoyed, he settled on silence.

"All this new technology and they can't get better signal out here" Dean grumbled, mostly to himself.

"People don't listen to the radio anymore, Dean" Sam mumbled, fighting his sleep. He was exhausted, he got four hours of sleep in the past two days. He was always on edge, afraid something would happen when he slept.

"Shh, Y/N's sleeping"

"Must be nice" Dean said looking up at the rearview mirror. "Jesus!" He said startled.

Sam jumped, the tired leaving his body. His hand immediately reaching for his handgun, snapping his back to look in the back seat.

"Cas, you have to stop popping up out of nowhere" Dean sighed

"Sorry, I figured this was better than showing up in the middle of the road."

"I wanted to come with you guys on this hunt, I had nothing better to do" Castiel explained.

"Why didn't you just call?" Sam asked

"I uh- I lost my cellphone" He replied, he had no idea where it was. Probably some country in Europe, he's been to too many places this week.

"Whatever just give us a warning next time" Dean said

-

The four of them drove in silence for another thirty minutes. Y/N is still sound asleep. As much as Dean loved to drive, looking at a bunch of nothing is boring. He was trying to think of a game to keep him occupied, maybe like 'count how many trees you see' he probably couldn't count that high.

Checking the mirror once more, he saw a faint smile on Y/N's sleeping face. She was always a peaceful sleeper, he wondered how after all the things they had seen. How could anyone sleep after that? He was happy she could sleep, he never wanted her to know the feeling of running off adrenaline and bad coffee.

He got an idea, not his best work but he had to deal with what he had.

"Hey Cas" The angel looked up, he didn't know road trips were this boring.

"Yeah?" He answered

"Why don't you hop into Y/N's dream, see why she's got that smile on her face"

"Dean-" Sam started

"C'mon it's harmless Sammy. Just a little bit of fun" Dean said before his brother could tell him how that it was an invasion of privacy blah blah.

"I don't think that's a good Idea, Dean" Castiel didn't understand how this would be "fun" But he knew humans found entertainment in weird ways.

"Don't be a buzzkill. Just use your little angel powers and see what she's doing."

"She's probably running through a field of flowers or something"

"Fine. I'll do it, but don't ask me to do anything weird for at least a week"

"Deal, now go" Dean said, he could feel his brother's disappointed glare as Cass disappeared.

"What?" he asked

"Boundaries Dean, boundaries." Sam sighed

"Oh please it's not like Cas doesn't show up in our dreams three times a week"

Silence.

"No, he doesn't" Sam said confused

"Whatever, you know what I mean" Dean nervously squeezed the steering wheel. Oh god, do I dream about Cas? he thought.

"Right.." Sam replied giving Dean a skeptical look

-

Castiel landed on some unstable surface. Looking down at his feet, his black shoes were sinking in sand with every step. He looked around at his surrounding, he was on a beach. The sun was starting to set, the sound of waves crashing filled the air. It was so picturesque.

He could hear faint music coming from his right. Off into the distance, he could see two people standing. He figured it was Y/N, but he didn't know who the other person was. He walks closer to the pair, he noticed small candles lit around the two.

They were swaying to the tune playing from the small radio on the ground. It was one of those old love songs. It seemed whoever she was with, they were romantically involved. When he got about 6 feet away from them, he could see who the mystery person was.

It was him.

Well, his vessel.

They seemed so happy, in love with the moment. Y/N had her arms wrapped around his torso resting her head on his chest. While dream Castiel's hands were on her waist. He didn't know she felt that way about him, maybe it was just the dream.

He watched them for what felt like forever, as he took in the sight. He had a strong love for Y/N, he had trouble figuring out what kind of love. She was one of the most beautiful humans he'd ever met. She's smart, funny, caring, in his eyes she was perfect.

Though, he wasn't sure how relationships between humans and angels would be seen by the man upstairs. Honestly, he didn't care.

He guessed he had been standing there so long Y/N felt his presence. She looked over and saw him. "Castiel?" her eyes went wide.

He freaked out and didn't know what to say, he vanished out of the dream landing back in the Impala.

Shortly after, Y/N woke up from her sleep. She looked over and saw Castiel. Her hope of that meeting being a part of her dream went out the window. He saw what she was doing. She prayed to anyone who was listening that he didn't think anything of it.

"Morning sunshine" Dean said when he saw she was awake.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked, he could see she was disheveled.

"Fine" She replied, trying to keep it together

"Did you see anything in there, Cas?"

"Nope. Just like you said, fields." He came up with the lie on the spot, he didn't want to embarrass Y/N anymore.

"That's boring-"

"Hang on, you told him to go into my dream?" Annoyance in her voice

"It was just for fun Y/N, plus like he said, he didn't see anything" He said in defense.

"You son of a bitch" she said flicking his ear

"Ough!"

-

The rest of the drive was mainly silent. Y/N didn't talk to Dean much and didn't say a word to Castiel. She was so embarrassed, out of all the dreams he could've walked in on it was that one.

It had been reoccurring for months, she and Cass on a beach in each other's arms. Not one problem in the world, it was just them. Her crush grew stronger as the dream progressed. She had done so well hiding her feelings for the angel. Now all of that is gone because Dean is nosy.

They finally made it to their next case, pulling up to a motel parking lot. Sam and Dean went inside the office to get a room, leaving Cass and Y/N alone.

They stood outside the car waiting for them to get back. Needless to say, it was pretty damn awkward. The silence was killing Y/N, she spoke up.

"Thank you" she said

"What?" Castiel was confused

"Thanks for not telling them what you saw." she kept her head down

"Oh, you're welcome... I didn't think it was my place to tell them about your dream."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade your privacy" he felt so bad about this.

"It's alright. At least now you know." she sighed

"Know what?"

"You're gonna make me say it?" she looked up at him. He looked very confused

"That I like you, Castiel."

"Oh," he swallowed "I didn't want to assume anything, I had no idea about this"

"No one knew, I didn't want it getting in the way of the job. Plus I know there's no chance you feel the same way-"

"You're wrong" he cut her off

"Huh?"

"About how I feel, I do feel the same. I guess I've been keeping a secret too." He looked deep into her eyes to make sure she knew he was telling the truth. " There hasn't been a day that's gone by where I haven't thought about you, how kind and sweet you are. Not to mention how stunning you are."

Y/N thought she was still dreaming. She couldn't believe what he was saying, her heart started to race. She couldn't find any words, so she used her actions.

Her eyes flickered down to his lips back to his eyes, leaning in slow in case he wanted to back out. He matched her actions, leaning in connecting their lips. She runs her hand through his hair deepening the kiss.

"What the hell did we miss?" Dean's voice pulled them out of their daze, pulling apart from each other.

"Hey guys" she nervously smiled

"Hey" Dean mocked "Should we get you two lovebirds your own room?" he laughed

"Leave them alone" Sam said "c'mon rooms this way" he led the group towards the motel room

Dean walked in between Castiel and Y/N one arm on each of them pulling them in for an awkward hug.

"Isn't this great, my two best pals together. I can hear the wedding bells already!"

Join a tag list!

[peaterookie]

Lupin Week 2024 Day 4: AUs and Mythology

Goemon's face looks like he's seen a ghost.

ahhhh god ok my stupid stupid silly au i made a year ago.... this will be a bit long so get ready

tldr: lupin died, the gang is alive. goemon finds lupin but he's a shark merman!? and lupin remembers nothing!!!

long version:

so this AU follows upon the story of shin lupin, which basically, the gang gets killed off by zenigata because he rigged an island full of explosives.

instead of them all dying however, lupin decides to knock the gang unconscious and find a way for them to escape off the island safely, leaving only him in the island to die.

the rest of the gang had no idea how they escaped and assumed that lupin had sacrificed himself for them. they woke up adrifted on the ocean until they eventually got picked up by a ship where the invisible captain from new adventures returns. but ah ill spare the details for another day

---

2 years have passed and the gang just kinda separated to do their own thing. we'll only focus on goemon cuz he's the featured character of this comic.

goemon decided to escape the life of crime that has burdened him for years living as a part of the lupgang. he's mostly a wanderer now and tries to do good and help people along the way

funnily enough, goemon is not the first person to find lupin, but I'll talk about this later. but goemon is definitely very mixed about seeing his friend who he thought was dead for years. he doesn't know whether to be happy or worried.

---

lupin, at the brink of death after the explosion, plummets down the ocean and wakes up one day, feeling like he's been rebirthed!

essentially, lupin became a merman because right before he could die, his body (i mean what's left of it 💀) interacted with a magic crystal that has the ability to grant life to a living being.

It's really rare, but it exists in clusters deep in the ocean floor or- deep under the rocks of an island :) you can say im bullshitting, which i am but i dont think exploding an entire island down to every rock has happened before, so it can kinda make sense why something so coincidental about these crystals could happen. (I AM TOTALLY MAKING EXCUSES I JUST WANTED TO MAKE LUPIN A MERMAN.)

and so these crystals used whats left of lupins body and reassembled him back, and idk other essences of the ocean to make him a merman!

the memories of his past life have definitely been buried deep inside his brain to the point he can't remember any of it though, so he thinks that he was born under the ocean and has lived there for his entire life. other than that he retains almost everything about himself, down to stealing stupid shit and messing with humans just for the fucks of it. he's kinda seen as like a nessie.

---

anyways, y'know how i said goemon wasn't the first one to meet lupin? that's because lupin has met zenigata before!

living a life with only fishes around means lupin's kinda lonely and likes to stalk humans sometimes. the interaction with him and zenigata did not end well though, and lupin has no idea why zeni wants him dead so much.

after that he's way more cautious around people that look like zenigata- hatted big men with guns. its gonna be fun once he sees jigen.

ok what else... i think that's all i want to reveal now. will i do more of this? maybe. maybe not. kinda embarrassed of this because of how silly it is but i hope you people find this interesting! byebye