#but if i had to like. do a presentation in front of 52 people. i would throw up on the spot | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prkwook · 1 year ago

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THE STORM ⛈️ park gunwook

☆ pairing: high school student!gunwook x fem!reader

☆ genre: (slight??) angst, fluff,

☆ wc: 1.8k

☆ summary: your mind is a storm, spiraling like a hurricane, but at least you have someone ready to wait it out with you, no matter what happens.

☆ warnings: anxiety / social anxiety , reader has a panic attack (pls let me know if there are any i should add)

☆ note: this is my longest fic yet?!!!! not proofread

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." — Louisa May Alcott

You hate having to give presentations in class. So much so, you often skip class the day of your presentation because the thought of getting up in front of everyone makes you physically sick. Due to the amount of absences you were accruing because of this, you wanted to arrive early to school today to try and talk your way out of the presentation you were to give sometime today. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. Unfortunately, today was not your lucky day.

When you slept 15 minutes past your alarm, only giving you 20 minutes to get ready and on your way, you thought it was just you being tired and when your hair straightener wouldn’t straighten how it always does, your excuse was that it was a hand-me-down from your older sister and it was getting old. But when your oatmeal was cold and you almost fell down the stairs on your way out the door, and you forgot your headphones at home, you decided that today, your luck (not that you normally have any) had run out.

When you got to school, you made a beeline directly towards the teacher’s office. When you got there, you found your teacher immediately and started walking towards him.

“Good morning, Y/n. What can I do for you this morning?” he asked you, eyes looking up at you from an email he was reading.

“Hi, Mr. Kim. You know those presentations we’re supposed to give today in class?” you mumbled. The frog in your throat was getting bigger by the minute and you didn’t know how much longer you could’ve stood there.

“Oh right! Thank you for reminding me! I completely forgot about those. What about ‘em?” You mentally kicked yourself. Another thing to add to the list of things that just couldn't go right. A nervous laugh escaped your mouth and in that moment, you wanted nothing more than to disappear.

“Right. Um, giving presentations makes me… uh… really um… nervous so I was wondering if I could maybe… uh… just come during lunch and just present to you instead of in front of the whole class.” You could already feel your usual day-of stomach ache coming on and it was not helping.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, but this is a really big part of your grade. Public speaking is very important for your future so you should get used to it. I’m sure everyone is nervous. Plus, I can’t go around making exceptions for people just because they’re nervous, now can I?” he questioned with an expectant look in his eyes. Unable to respond, you sighed quietly and drop your eyes to the hands fidgeting at your side.

“Oh... okay. I understand.” Honestly, you wondered if your day could get any worse?

Turns out, it could and just did.

“Hello, class!” Mr. Kim exclaims as he saunters into the room, smile on his face.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim.” the class less than enthusiastically says back to him.

“Aw, where’s the excitement?” Silence.

“Well …” he claps. “I had forgotten about your presentations today but was reminded about them this morning, thanks to Y/n!” he laughs. All 52 eyes in the class turn to look at you. You remember how you used to want to be Violet from The Incredibles when you were little and try to make yourself as invisible as possible. Maybe if you close your eyes, they’ll all disappear.

“Since you reminded me, why don’t you go first Y/n?” You hesitate and a second later, a hand shoots up. It’s the hand that belongs to the class president, your knight-in-shining armor, and the boy you’ve liked since the first day you joined this school, Park Gunwook.

“I’ll go first!” he announces and starts to walk up to the front of the classroom, hands carrying bright, neon-colored flashcards. You didn’t even prepare flashcards. You watch as he gives his presentation with the confidence only a scholar on the topic could have and when he’s done, you watch as he walks back to his seat and sit down.

“Would anyone else like to go?” Not a single hand raises. “Well, I guess it’s your turn then, Y/n.” You get up and silently shuffle to the front of the room, making a mental note of all of the eyes that travel with you on your way. You also can't help but notice how your hair and uniform are now slightly disheveled, a by-product from when you had to slump down in your seat in order to avoid the gazes of your classmates. Suddenly, you’re more self-conscious than ever, feeling the stare of every single person in the room bore into you. When you finally reach the front, you look out into the sea of eyes that are all staring right back at you.

You look down at your hands and fidget with your rings until you hear your teacher say that you can start when you’re ready. But what if you’ll never be ready? What if this fear of embarrassment, this fear that others will notice that your anxiousness and take advantage of it, never goes away?

“Um…” You feel your hands start to shake so you hide them in the pockets of your sweatshirt. “My project was on…. um…” You look up at the SMART board next to you that has the slide presentation you spent hours on, projected onto it. “It’s on …. um… Romeo- sorry… um … Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.” You look up at the people who could clearly care less about your or your presentation but somehow, your brain has you convinced that they can see your anxiety, as if it’s written in big, bold letters right across your forehead. You start to get overwhelmed and all it takes is a quick glance to the corner where you can see two girls look at you, laugh, and then start whispering to each other, for you to be running out the door.

You run and run and run until you reach the staircase, a place you know no one will be this time of day, and finally let the tears spill. You’re seemingly safe and yet the thoughts in your head spiral like a hurricane, wreaking havoc on your emotions, the peaceful citizens in your brain. Your lungs burn with an all consuming fire, never letting you catch your breath, not for even a millisecond. Your hands are still shaking and you swear your heart is beating so fast, you might even be having a heart attack. You’ve felt these all too familiar feelings before and yet, they’re still as strong as the first time. Everything other than the hurricane is gone and yet, you can still feel a tap on your shoulder, a tap that alerts you of the presence of another being standing on the outside of your storm.

“Y/N, are you okay?” the person asks, worried laced in their words. You could recognize this voice from anywhere.

“Do I look okay?!” you yell, louder than intended. Gunwook recoils, words hitting him like cold water. Your storm widens and he's caught in the crossfire.

“Ok, I probably deserved that. Hey, it’s okay.” he says softly as if he’s trying not to scare you away. “Just breathe with me.” Inhale. Exhale. “Again.” Inhale, exhale. You feel your breathing start to return to normal but even still, you can’t seem to escape the storm. The boy sits down next to you and pats his shoulder. You lay your head down and cry on his shoulder for what feels like an eternity.

You sit up and look at his tear-stained shoulder. “Oh my god, I am so sorry." Embarassment floods your senses and a second wave of tears start to fall. Gunwook wraps his arms around you as if he's trying to protect you from the dangerous winds of your storm, now surrounding you both.

“Hey, no. It’s okay, I promise. No need to apologize. I completely understand how you feel. You might not believe me but trust me, I’ve gotten really good at hiding it. I don’t know if you noticed but while I was up there, my hands were shaking like crazy.”

As he talks, you feel your storm get smaller and smaller until it’s only just a little, tiny rain cloud floating above your head. You pull away and look him in the eyes.

“Why’d you chase after me?” you question, still looking into his warm, brown eyes. He looks right back into yours and wipes away a tear-shaped raindrop running down your cheek.

“Because I was worried about you, Y/N.”

“Why were you worried? I mean look at me, I've never been better.”

Gunwook laughs, and his laugh is a sound you're convinced is your new favorite. “What do you mean why? If the girl I like runs out of the classroom crying, obviously I’m going to be worried …. wait a second…..” He looks away to hide his cheeks, but his red ears are a dead giveaway.

“The girl you what?!”

“Shit. I’m sorry if that just made this awkward. I mean you said it yourself, we’re not really friends so I don’t blame you at all if you want me to leave. You know what, I’ll just go.” As he gets up and starts to walk back in the direction of your classroom, you grab his hand.

“Don’t I get to say my piece now?” Gunwook pauses and you take this as a sign to continue. “Remember when you were assigned to show me around the school because I was new? That was the day I spilled my strawberry milk all over you. I felt so bad and kept apologizing but you insisted that it was actually your fault because you bumped into me. You even bought me a new one from the cafeteria. Instead of making me feel embarrassed or humiliated, you comforted me, saying that it was okay because you had been looking for an excuse to get a new jacket. To this day, no one has ever done something for me like that.”

Gunwook laughs and the smile you’ve come to love appears on his face. “I remember that day like it was yesterday. The entire time I was with you, I was so nervous. I mean how could I not be? You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Every time you smiled, my heart skipped a beat.”

“How come you never told me how you felt?”

“I don’t know. I guess I was scared. It’s a lot easier to stay quiet about it than have to deal with rejection.” Gunwook responds, sadness written all over his face.

“Who says I would’ve rejected you?” You say and smile for the first time that day.

#prkwook #zerobaseone imagines #zb1 x reader #gunwook x reader #park gunwook imagines #park gunwook x reader #zb1 imagines #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 fluff #zerobaseone #zb1 #park gunwook #gunwook #zb1 angst

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fairybinie · 2 years ago

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COPYCCINO — 52: heal the wound

synopsis: soobin has been talking to who he thought was his unrequited crush on messages, only to find out through a visit to their coffee shop that it was in fact not them. not only does he meet the real y/n, he runs into their friend yeonjun, an ex friend of his who he has some unresolved issues with. as soobin and the real y/n are getting to know each other, yeonjun and soobin are working through their misunderstandings, as well as trying to figure out who the catfish was.

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a/n: written (7.9k) + smau. swearing, lots of apologies, probably some mistakes but look away!! this was very long awaited i’m so sorry y’all but copyccino is back, with the anticipated redemption arc ❤️

…

y/n walks into the building along with kai and taehyun, not expecting too much. in all honesty, they’re slightly relieved to leave their hotel room after remaining in there for so many days. this is the most normal that they’ve felt, though it doesn’t feel the same. this is barely half of their group.

they just want everyone to be together again. they weren’t even able to befriend each other like y/n had hoped for. everyone being one big group of friends was their biggest wish.

they all greet the lady behind the desk as taehyun reaches for his phone to show her what they can assume was their reservation. one look around and y/n can see what can be appealing about this place. originally, they thought it catered more towards little kids but there are some teenagers and young adults present as well. that makes them feel a little less embarrassed.

y/n follows along behind the two boys and they stand right where the maze begins. there are a variety of occupation rooms on different sides of the building where people can choose which one to enter. a fire station, a hospital room, a classroom, you name it. y/n waits with their hands on their side, their sweater paws snuggling down comfortably.

“so, where do you want to start?” y/n asks casually as they look at their friends in front of them.

“there was a room i wanted to check out,” taehyun recommends while he gestures his head towards the left. “it seemed interesting.”

y/n nods with no suspicion, still following along as it was taehyun they were talking about. he was usually never up to anything without being transparent. the trio begins to head over to the room as kai and y/n follow loosely behind taehyun who seemingly knew the way.

kai remains quiet, convinced that if he speaks up he’ll somehow give everything away, blowing their operation. his eyes trail from the paintings scattered around each hallway before he glances over at y/n, noticing their demeanor for the first time today.

“hey, are you okay?” he speaks lowly in y/n’s space, not wanting taehyun to hear, though the boy was already distracted in trying to find the room to notice. “your eyes look a little red.”

y/n looks at kai for a split second before looking straight ahead again, nodding their head softly. “yeah, i’m fine.”

if you considered going through your texts and photos with your boyfriend and best friend last night to be fine. it hit y/n like an emotional wreck realizing how things currently are. their last text from soobin being that he’ll never stop missing them. they can’t help but wonder if he still stands by that, even now. if he still misses them. the thought made them cry to sleep.

kai opens his mouth to continue to say something else before taehyun announces right in front of the room where they’ve finally arrived. “it’s this one!”

the two boys head straight inside while y/n takes a moment to look at the plaque that’s next to the door.

police interrogation room.

y/n furrows their eyebrows as they wonder what they would be doing here, why they would be interested in checking this room out. still, with a tilt of their head, they walk in with an open mind.

just as it’s intended, it’s quite literally, an interrogation room. black and navy accents on every piece of furniture and walls. there’s a glass border in between two sides of the room. the first side has some chairs where there’s voice machines on the glass for the officers to speak to the suspect. the other side is where a round table is placed, for the interviewers and the suspect to sit. on the left there’s a door to enter inside to be questioned. it’s almost eery how similar the environment is to the real thing, like they’re actually being called in for a crime.

after looking around the room for a while y/n glances at kai and taehyun, who are seemingly having a non verbal conversation. they stare at each other while taehyun has his phone in his hand, looking at it every now and then as if he’s waiting for something to pop up.

“so what exactly do we do here?” y/n questions, almost out of boredom. there’s really nothing much to this room. it’s probably not nearly as fun as the other rooms in this place.

taehyun looks down at his phone and y/n can see the reflection that is a notification on his screen through his eyes. taehyun gives kai a curt nod, and kai heads over to the door that leads the way into the interrogation room. he then grabs y/n’s arm and throws them into the room in a rush, locking the door right after. y/n exclaims in confusion and slight frustration, staring at the two boys harshly through the glass screen. kai seems to be antsy while taehyun remains to be calm and situated.

“hey! what’d you do that for?” y/n protests, having to yell in case they couldn’t hear through the glass. they walk towards the door and attempt to open it, though it’s locked shut. all that can be heard is the door knob jiggling profusely and y/n’s complaints.

as if on cue, the door behind taehyun and kai opens as new guests walk inside.

or a guest.

y/n recognizes a familiar blonde close the door behind him as he faces the front. the space between taehyun and kai leaves y/n to get a perfect glimpse of him.

yeonjun.

y/n’s face that had previously been scrunched up from confusion eases as they wonder what the boy was doing here. kai seemed to have been thinking the same thing as he sends taehyun a widened pair of eyes with an expression, ‘you really got him to come.’

yeonjun slowly heads more inside and makes eye contact with everyone in the room. the expression on his face is something that y/n couldn’t quite make out, or one that they couldn’t expect. yeonjun’s eyebrows momentarily cross each other as he gets used to the scenery and the people here, but he soon drops the struggle and blinks himself back to reality. he does a quick nod and sniffs in some air. it was almost like he was expecting something. like he knew what he was in for.

taehyun walks over to the door that leads into the interrogation room itself and opens it wide. y/n sees his arm stretched out, indicating that someone should walk in. y/n trails onto taehyun’s view and realizes he’s looking right at yeonjun, who’s looking back at him with some caution. taehyun confirms something through his gaze and yeonjun gives him one last look before he glances at y/n. they quickly lay their eyes off of him and find something else to stare at, the ground being their best choice. y/n can hear a sigh escape from yeonjun’s mouth as his footsteps can be heard through the quiet atmosphere. their eyes remain on the concrete tiles and it’s the sound of the door closing and yeonjun’s sneakers right next to theirs that indicate he’s now in the room with them. standing right next to them.

what is going on?

taehyun stands next to kai once again as he checks his phone, waiting for the last person to arrive. kai becomes anxious, being that some minutes have passed already. beomgyu and sieun should’ve brought soobin by now.

kai nervously pans over at the glass wall, meeting eyes with y/n, who wants answers, and yeonjun, who’s unexpectedly rather calm. he lets out an anxious laugh as he sends the two a thumbs up, quickly putting his hands away as he realizes how stupid it looks.

he leans to taehyun with a low voice that’s filled with worry. “where are they?”

“they’re here,” taehyun replies while looking at the messages on his phone, scrolling to the most recent text. “beomgyu said they got caught up once soobin realized sieun was here too.”

that doesn’t bring any ease to kai’s mind. if soobin reacted to seeing sieun suddenly be here, what makes them think he won’t be agitated to see everyone else here too?

“well-”

kai is cut off mid sentence when the door opens widely for the last time, and both he and taehyun straighten their positions as taehyun puts his phone away. sieun walks in first, beomgyu second.

soobin third.

the room starts to get crowded so it takes soobin a while to register who else is here. y/n and yeonjun, who have been witnessing this whole thing, saw the first two enter and can presume who else is here as well. once sieun stands next to taehyun while kai heads over to the door, ready in place, they see soobin crystal clear.

and he can surely see them now.

soobin’s pupils grow large as his mouth agapes wide open, finding the situation at hand to be unbelievable. y/n and yeonjun in the same room, everyone else looking awfully suspicious. he looks at beomgyu with distrust, mentally asking him why he lied. soobin places a hand out in caution, his hoarse voice being present.

“what’s going on?”

instead of looking at the hurt boy, beomgyu sends kai a head nod as a signal, leading to kai opening the door once again while beomgyu runs at soobin and pushes him inside. kai locks the door in a rush to signify the end. soobin bangs on the door while he shouts more questions and frustrations, everyone else disregarding him.

the two boys head over to join taehyun and sieun, who send them a judgmental pair of eyes.

“you could’ve done that differently?” sieun asks in disbelief.

beomgyu laughs dryly as he crosses his arms proudly while he looks at the trio inside.

“it’s not as fun.”

the three were now all together. y/n, who was filled with confusion but slowly started to piece everything together and can only dread where this was going. yeonjun, who seemingly knew where this was going and has prepared for it, open to see where this all goes. soobin, who’s just lost, but his spirit resembles a burning fire. each of them are spaced apart, y/n standing in the middle with their arms hugging their shoulders, their knees barely keeping them intact. yeonjun stands farther to the right, crossing his arms once soobin had entered the room, his demeanor becoming more stern and defensive. soobin on the left and can only remain still and straight, wary of what could happen.

what a perfect combination.

the trio can hear a cough through the incoming voice machine and it gathers their attention. the group on the other side are all seated into their chairs, hands folded together in a polite and professional manner. in any other instance this would be deemed as unserious, but in their case, the tension was building sporadically.

“we’ve gathered you here today-” taehyun begins to address before he’s cut off by a laughter next to him. beomgyu covers his mouth with his hand as he cackles into it, thrown off by the seriousness. sieun hits the boy in the arm and it’s like a switch went off because he pulls himself together with a straight face.

“…because you all need to talk,” taehyun continues, finally encountering the issue at hand. the trio make sense of all this and they continue to consider what he says. “you need to work through it, not just leave off the way you did.”

kai taps on taehyun’s shoulder and gestures on which button he should press on the voice box. taehyun sees that he wants to speak, so he shows him which one. kai adds onto taehyun’s sentence.

“we’re all friends. or we once were,” kai relates to soobin and yeonjun, who each look down at the ground for a second, feeling the words hit them. “if you really cared about each other in the slightest you would do your best to fix all of this.”

“there’s miscommunication going on here,” sieun adds next, her voice radiating some sweetness to lessen the tension. “at least try to understand each other.”

sieun lets go of her button quietly as she looks at beomgyu next to her, expecting him to finish their monologue. beomgyu gets the hint and presses his finger onto the machine, glancing at each of them before he stares into soobin’s eyes in a genuine manner.

“we all made the effort to bring you together. you should do the same to come out through it.”

beomgyu’s voice rings through their ears as the trio remain silent in thought. y/n wants to look at the boys next to them to get some kind of sign as to what they were feeling, but they can’t. y/n goes through each pair of eyes in front of them as they finally land on taehyun’s, who’s looking right back.

“what do you want us to do?” this is the first time yeonjun and soobin has heard their voice in days, and they’re temporarily thrown off. y/n’s voice comes across more small than they had intended, but that’s how they feel inside.

“there’s a table right behind you,” taehyun says as they each look behind them. “just sit and talk.”

“we can hear you,” beomgyu adds quickly with a smile, ready to see the show.

though they were given instructions, they still don’t move. soobin barely shifts in his place and y/n feels too heavy in their own weight. the scene is reminiscent of a group of kids who are too shameful to do their parent’s punishment. not too much of a difference.

“they’re not doing anything,” beomgyu says through his teeth, not breaking his forced smile while he makes sure he’s not pressing the button for them to hear.

taehyun watches in front of them as he sits back relaxingly, arms crossed together, a sly grin on his face. a spark can be seen through his eyes.

“i think not.”

the group glances at the front again and stunned expressions take over each of them. soobin and y/n watch as yeonjun walks with careful steps towards the table and sits down with the same crossed arms from earlier. he sets his gaze onto y/n, one that leaves an impression that he's ready to listen. as if it were some kind of spell, it leaves y/n to head to the seat in front of him, taking their place behind the table.

soobin watches the pair with prudent eyes as he carefully thinks about his decision. he looks over at beomgyu one last time for any kind of confirmation. the boy can only nod in assurance. soobin takes the gesture and glances back at the table, meeting eyes with both y/n and yeonjun. y/n’s showcase desperation while yeonjun remains to be indifferent with soobin. that already seems to be a development from last time. he's let his guard down. at least some of it.

soobin quietly huffs out some air and walks over to the last seat, his footsteps being the right amount of movement. the layout of the table makes it perfect for the group to see the three of them perfectly, none of them showing their back to the front. there was a measured amount of space between them, y/n on the left, yeonjun in the middle, soobin on the right.

another silence ensues as the ball is now completely in their court. taehyun mentioned to the group that they can only guide them so much, but they have to do the rest willingly. he said they’d be there all day if they have to. at some point, the silence will get to them.

soobin plays with his hands that were intertwined in front of him, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. yeonjun stares out onto the flat, round surface of the table, his mind wandering somewhere else with a fazed look in his eyes. y/n wonders what to do, their only resort being to look at kai for some comfort. he sends them a reassuring grin, reassuring enough to bring y/n to say something.

“i’ve…done a lot of thinking these past few days,” they start off hesitant, but it certainly captures the boys’ attention. they look at y/n intently, which only brings more pressure onto them. y/n feels themselves get lost in their words due to the sudden attention and looks over at taehyun for some support. he nods at them softly, encouraging them to continue. it’s with that gesture that y/n remembers the conversation they had with taehyun.

it’s not your fault, if you think about it.

“i think you two have some resentment that you need to figure out before you take it out on me.”

y/n stuns them with their words, y/n even feeling the effect themselves. yeonjun and soobin know that they have issues, hell, everyone in this room knows that they have issues. someone that’s not one another telling them that? the reality stings. maybe the truth can heal the wound.

it doesn’t take long for yeonjun to speak up after that, giving y/n’s words some time to simmer in their heads. he chooses his words carefully and as best as he could. he doesn’t want to hurt his best friend again, and he doesn't want soobin to take something else from this than what he is intending.

“i do have some resentment…towards you,” yeonjun speaks lowly as he gestures his head forward at soobin, who can only listen.

this time it’s yeonjun’s turn to look at taehyun for some assurance, to which taehyun services. now is the time for yeonjun to say how he really feels. he was unable to do that when this all started, his emotions took over him too well for him to be reasonable. maybe it’ll be different this time.

“i don’t know if you know this, but my entire life i’ve been compared to you,” yeonjun starts, barely managing to keep eye contact with soobin, but it’s enough.

“yeah, i know. you wouldn’t expect it, but it’s true. my parents questioned my values and thought yours were intellectual, so they wanted me to be like you.” yeonjun leaves his exposition with a pause, thinking about how to bring this around. everyone in the room waits patiently, with some anticipation.

“and then we went to high school,” yeonjun sits back in his chair as he sighs out a pitiful laugh. “it only got worse.”

“you weren't a loser anymore. you didn’t need protecting, which i didn’t mind doing by the way. everyone only saw the nice traits about you and started applying them onto me. it’s like i wasn’t my own person anymore, i was just your friend. the person people wanted me to be. i knew then that’s what it must have felt like when we were in grade school.”

soobin timidly nods in agreement as he blank stares at yeonjun’s shirt. nothing that captivating, but anything to avoid eye contact. throughout soobin’s life he’s been under yeonjun’s shadow. he got bullied for not being cool, not being like him. high school changed his life. people had a new definition of cool and he fit into it. he had his own shadow at that point, and yeonjun was behind it.

“i didn’t know that,” soobin replies sympathetically. yeonjun’s arms remain guarded as the half smile stays on his face, still staring into nothing. he doesn’t say anything.

“and then i got a girlfriend,” he says with tightness in his voice. if y/n wasn’t engaged before, they certainly were now. this is what must’ve started everything, and it seems like the truth they knew was only one sided. soobin closes his eyes while he scrunches his eyebrows together, dreading the returned topic.

“someone who only saw me for me. she liked me.” yeonjun sits more straight like he’s getting down to business.

“and then you guys met. at the time it didn’t bother me, my two favorite people becoming friends, that’s what i should want,” yeonjun dryly laughs while projecting his voice as if he’s speaking to the universe. “then she started acting differently with me and next thing you know, i’m being broken up with.”

y/n feels the need to reach out for yeonjun’s hand to console him but manages the urge to restrain themselves. they’re in a weird place, it wouldn’t be appropriate. yeonjun leans forward and his elbows place onto the table as his eyes dart onto soobin’s, who still avoids meeting his gaze as he keeps his eyes hidden low.

“because she likes someone else,” yeonjun’s tone is unpleasantly nice, but wicked. “you.”

yeonjun can feel that he’s getting to soobin so he backs away into his seat yet again, dropping the tension that was the enclosed space.

“and then i see you two after school hugging so what else was i supposed to assume,” yeonjun chokes out a dark chuckle, like he’s pitying himself. “thought i was done with you for years, but now you’re apparently dating y/n so something’s gotta happen.”

y/n winces at the namedrop, as does soobin. y/n slowly looks away from their own hands, expecting to meet eyes with their enraged best friend. if looks could kill, they were ready for it. though they were wrong. their gazes lock together and yeonjun appears to be soft. he looks tired, either from being mad this whole time or tired with himself.

y/n thinks about what they should say and manages to come up with something, but the sound of the voice box being clicked on tells them that someone from the outside wants to speak. they turn their head in that direction and see that taehyun has his finger on the console.

“do you still assume that?”

everyone is thrown off guard at the question, realizing that the conversation will steer into a deeper direction. y/n looks over from taehyun to yeonjun, waiting for his answer as soobin remains to look at the front.

“i…don’t want to,” yeonjun says slowly in realization, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. y/n knows this habit and it’s clear to them that yeonjun is being as honest as he can be. “something’s telling me i shouldn’t.”

this fires up an emotion inside soobin which causes him to whip his head around to face yeonjun, who’s been looking at him this entire time. the first time they’ve managed to make eye contact. soobin doesn’t know how to feel. the only word that can come to mind is hope. hope that his former friend will finally be willing to listen to him.

hope that he’ll finally believe him.

soobin’s pupils widen slightly, his eyes searching through yeonjun’s to get some kind of clue. already, he can tell that yeonjun sees him differently. his eyes aren’t full of hatred and disappointment he once had the last time they ever spoke. instead, they’re expectant. asking him to prove him wrong, and not in a challenging way, but in a genuine way.

“i didn’t cheat with your girlfriend behind your back,” soobin starts off. his eyes brim with water, attempting to pull the straightest face he can to prevent them from falling. he hates confrontation, but the fact that he gets emotional enough for him to cry makes him hate this even more.

“then why didn’t you do anything?!” yeonjun impatiently hushes, a voice crack apparent, like it’s all starting to get to him.

“yeonjun,” taehyun warns through the machine. they meet eyes and taehyun raises his eyebrows with a stern head nod forward, his eyes widening slowly. yeonjun stammers out a couple of unfinished sentences while he glances back at soobin. he looks at him with subtle desperation, leading yeonjun to become quiet and nod, signaling for soobin to continue.

“did she ever tell you what actually happened?” soobin questions. this is something he’s wanted to know throughout these years and he finally has the guts to ask.

“yeah,” yeonjun replies nonchalantly. this is the only thing he’s believed after all. “she came by my house later that day to pick up her things she left. she revealed that you were the one she dumped me for and told me you liked her back.”

soobin laughs and tilts his head to the side, petty that this is what min has done. he didn’t know this, but it certainly makes sense that yeonjun could have believed it. he has to admit that the scene between them along with min’s lie, it could appear that way. though, it wasn’t.

“if i tell you what actually happened, would you let me finish?” soobin pleads. every single time he’s tried to explain himself yeonjun had been too upset to let him say his words. judging from yeonjun’s presence right now, it seems like he finally has a chance. yeonjun nods, gesturing his hand forward to indicate he’s listening.

“she did confess that she liked me, that’s true,” soobin starts off. yeonjun winces having to hear this again and he fights the urge to interrupt. “but i rejected her.”

yeonjun slowly brings his head up to face soobin, confusion taking over him. everyone in the room is ready to listen.

“she came up to me and told me she broke up with you. mind you, the whole time i was telling her that she should be talking to you and not me. she wouldn’t do that, told me the damage was already done. then when she asked if we could be together, i said no. i said i didn’t like her back, we weren’t close enough for me to even consider it. even still, i would say no. she got emotional when i told her that and asked for a hug as one last goodbye. i felt bad so i did, i hugged her because i rejected her. when she left the first thing i wanted to do was talk to you, that’s when you came up to me.”

soobin finishes off strong, getting as much of his truth out there. y/n starts to piece everything together and realizes that this story makes much more sense. the way yeonjun has described soobin to them made him sound like someone who didn't want yeonjun to have anything. now that they’re involved with soobin, they know he wouldn’t do anything like that. soobin has been through his own heartbreaks since then. he knows how it feels, why would he ever implicate something like that?

everyone awaits for yeonjun’s reaction, though it’s still not clear. yeonjun blank stares ahead of him and his eyes can be seen fluttering low as he takes this information in. he steadily stares back up at soobin and he’s met with honest eyes. yeonjun’s eyes trinkle with water and he can’t understand why. taehyun might say it’s because he’s finally realizing what the actual truth was and feels guilty for believing anything else this entire time. it’s caused him to lose his best friend and now that he’s here telling him what actually happened, it slaps him in the face. he feels terrible.

“i know you felt insecure before,” soobin breaks the silence while he still has yeonjun’s gaze set on his. his voice is nearly going to crack and soobin feels one rapid tear escape from his socket. yeonjun tries to hold back his, but unfortunately fails. his come out slower.

“but do you really think i would do something like that to you, yeonjun?”

it’s with those words that yeonjun breaks down crying, not bothering to hold back his tears any longer. everyone else is shocked, some of which have never seen him cry before. even taehyun is caught off guard, questioning if he should still play the unbiased straight man or if he should go in there and call this whole thing off. y/n pushes the box of tissues close to yeonjun, to which he grabs. soobin remains still, the only one to be unfazed by this. he always wanted to get a reaction out of yeonjun that wasn’t just rage, or coolness that he was used to when they were still friends. though he doesn't like to see him cry, it at least shows that he’s vulnerable.

“no,” yeonjun chokes into the tissue. he sniffs to regain his composure and barely manages to pull it off. “i wanted to see you as the bad guy. i was compared to you too much that i was almost mad at you. i guess when this happened i had the opportunity to do so and i took it, even if it was unfair. i was just upset.”

“i was compared to you too,” soobin replies as one more tear falls down his cheek. “it was annoying, yeah. but i never blamed you because i knew it wasn’t your fault. you were your own person, you couldn’t do anything about it. no matter how much you stood up for me and protected me, you couldn’t control how people viewed me or you. i was upset too, but never at you. no matter how much their words got to me i never questioned your character or even considered that you would do something wrong to me, because we were best friends. it hurt me that you did, yeonjun.”

“i know, and i’m sorry.”

soobin feels his breath hitch behind his throat. of all the conversations they’ve had it has never ended with yeonjun apologizing. everyone else can feel it too and are just as surprised.

“you were my best friend and i shouldn’t have assumed that you would betray me like that. i was in a place that i’ve never been in before and i didn’t know how to handle it, i only knew anger. then as time went on, i accepted our fate. it wasn’t until recently where i started questioning my actions and realized that i was in the wrong here. i can’t take back what i’ve said to you or what i’ve done, but i’m sorry soobin. i wish i never resulted to that and if i could take it back i would, i’m sorry.”

yeonjun finishes off and the two stare at each other a little longer. they feel a sense of relief take over them. soobin has been wanting to say his truth for so long and finally got to do it, the result being yeonjun believing him. yeonjun’s just been wanting to have an open mind and it finally got through him. though they can’t pick up where they left off, they can at least try to work at it. being in the same room has already been crossed off the list.

“now that i’m apologizing,” yeonjun picks himself back up to continue. he fixes his position so his body is facing his right, facing y/n. y/n feels the direction onto them and prepares themselves.

“i’m sorry for what i said at you too, y/n. i will admit i’ve felt a bit left out lately, you and kai have gotten closer and i felt that you weren’t telling me everything. then when…this happened the first thing i felt was to accuse you of keeping me in the dark on purpose. i thought about it, and yeah, i never told you guys who soobin was, even though i thought i did. you wouldn’t have known. i’m sorry for saying you have the memory of a goldfish and it won’t take you anywhere in life, that was completely messed up and i regret it. i’m just sorry for dragging you into this.”

y/n has managed to keep their emotions together but now that something has been directed at them, they’re starting to feel it. yeonjun looks at them with sincerity and regret and it’s apparent to y/n that he really means it. there’s a hint of fear in yeonjun’s eyes and y/n can tell. he doesn’t want to lose them. they are his best friend, losing one was enough but he can’t afford to lose another because of his foolish actions.

“i was thinking about this situation and i was upset too. being blamed for things i had nothing to do with isn’t exactly pleasing,” y/n confides in their feelings. yeonjun feels the guilt hit him and nods in agreement. he folds his hands together and slightly looks down, only y/n’s words could bring him back up again.

“but i can’t say i would react any better, if it were me. i was hurt when you said those things and i wasn’t sure if we could come back from that, even though i really wanted to. seeing you here it’s clear that you really mean it, so i forgive you.”

y/n’s words end sweetly while they exchange friendly glances, like things are finally normal again. yeonjun was worried it would be the end for them. y/n’s words manage to dry his tears and can only feel the dampness on his face, his cheeks to be stained pink. y/n feels like it’s their turn to disclose some things.

“you’re my best friend yeonjun. i wouldn’t want to replace you with anybody else. i’m sorry you felt like i was keeping things from you, but i swear i had no idea. this is all new to me and frankly, it was complicated. i only told kai because he was there when soobin and i met. i promise i was going to tell you and taehyun once things got more serious, i was just trying to figure out how. i just hope you two don’t think i was being secretive on purpose when i didn’t know anything.”

y/n explains their truth, carefully choosing their words as much as they can. though some of it was directed at yeonjun, it was also for soobin too. at the end of the day, both of them felt like y/n was keeping things from them on purpose. y/n can only hope they understand.

“call me jun, i miss hearing it.”

they maintain genuine eye contact and yeonjun accepts y/n’s explanation with soft words, feeling better than before. y/n feels the weight lifted from their shoulders, overwhelmed that they’re able to call their best friend with his nickname. that was one of the heartbreaks they experienced.

“i need to apologize too,” y/n and yeonjun break their stare as they hear a different voice speak up. y/n looks over and sees soobin looking at them intently. they know what this is about, so they continue to hear him out. yeonjun relaxes into his seat while he listens attentively, not aware of what this is regarding. for all he knows, he only left off on bad terms with soobin and y/n. hearing that soobin wants to apologize to y/n, he can imagine they had their quarrels too.

“like yeonjun said, i’m sorry that i assumed you had anything to do with this. i shouldn’t have blamed you when i asked you to disclose who yeonjun was. i shouldn’t have said you were lying to me. i guess i’ve just been through it enough with yun that this situation just brought up that memory again. it was still unfair for me to do that. i hate that i yelled at you, of all the people i could do that to i didn’t want to do it with you. i wish i could take it back.”

soobin scoots closer as if it’s just him and y/n in the room. he can see y/n wipe a tear away as they look at him with expectant eyes, wondering what else he’ll say. there’s only one last thing.

“but i’m especially sorry for calling you yun. i’ve reflected on it these past few days and i still can’t figure out why i did that. it was in the heat of the moment and i wish i never said it. i really mean it when i say i like you for you, not yun or anyone else. i can see that what i said contradicts that, but i swear i didn’t mean it. i’m just sorry for everything, y/n.”

soobin gulps slowly while waiting for any sign y/n could throw at him. a look of disgust could insinuate they want nothing to do with him ever again. a look of admiration could be that it’s water under the bridge, that they forgive him. y/n searches through soobin’s eyes and soobin does his best to maintain that contact and not break away. he wants to appear as honest as he actually feels.

“who’s yun?” yeonjun asks while glancing at each of them. y/n and soobin look at each other in slight panic, wondering if they should tell him since they’re dumping everything now. as if they’re connected, they both agree to wait til another time.

“we’ll tell you later.” yeonjun gives a small nod, for once not upset at the fact that he doesn’t know something. this experience really turned over a new leaf for him.

y/n gives a side smile, showcasing a dimple that soobin hasn’t seen before. was it always there or did he just never notice? his heart becomes warm just at the sight. y/n nods with acceptance as they lean back against their chair.

“i think we all said things we regret,” y/n comes to a conclusion with insight. “it’s clear we’re all sorry, so it should be left in the past.”

with every word, y/n continues to look at soobin and the two softly smile at each other. there’s room for a new beginning, and it seems like they’ll take it.

“so…are we good?” y/n hesitantly asks, glancing at the two boys in front of them. yeonjun and soobin exchange a glimpse of each other and show a small smile. yeonjun speaks in a tone that he never thought he’d ever express.

forgiveness.

“as good as we can be.”

a chaotic noise ensues and the trio look in front of them, realizing that kai is out of his seat while clapping eagerly. he radiates an emotional audience member after their idol has given an acceptance speech.

“that was beautiful,” he speaks into the voice box. they can’t tell if the quivers in his voice is from him actually crying or if he’s playing some kind of role. either way, it’s the comedic relief this room desperately needed.

“better than any movie i’ve ever seen,” beomgyu adds while munching on a bite of popcorn. sieun looks at her side and grabs the bag, meeting stares with the boy in confusion.

“when did you get popcorn?”

beomgyu smirks as he stares at the trio inside, nodding his head mischievously. “i have my ways.”

ignoring the side conversation next to him, taehyun fondly stares at y/n, soobin, and yeonjun and sends them a thumbs up, the most genuine admiration in his eyes. he was hoping they would work it out and they did. he couldn’t be more proud of them than he is right now, and the trio feels it.

y/n scoots their chair back as they stand up, each boy following their lead. they stand there awkwardly and exchange some lost glances until they look ahead again.

“so…what now?” y/n calls out to the group. they see that they’re sharing some looks of their own, probably not expecting this event to go this far. after some murmurs, kai yells that he’ll let them out, forgetting to use the voice box. still, the trio can tell what he meant to say.

kai heads over to the door as taehyun follows right behind him. they see the doorknob jiggle until it opens, kai showcasing a bright smile to greet them. the trio is about to step foot until they see kai get pushed in, his yelps being heard throughout the room. the door closes shut yet again, the sound of the lock tying it together. taehyun heads back to join beomgyu and sieun and kai sends them a bewildered gaze.

“i think there’s more that needs to be said,” taehyun states as he nods towards yeonjun. they each look at him and yeonjun knows what he has to do as well.

the boy walks closer to kai as y/n and soobin move towards the opposite direction, giving them enough space. kai knows yeonjun is about to speak to him, but he’s still lost as to what. he was only convinced that it would be just them three who was doing the confronting.

“kai,” yeonjun talks lowly and kai’s expression softens. “i’m sorry for what i said to you that night. as you can tell, i was really upset. i used the situation at hand and took my frustrations out on you. just like y/n, i assumed you had something to do with it and that you were keeping secrets too. you’re not a suck up. the truth is, i was slightly jealous that y/n was spending their time with you. i shouldn’t have accused you of leaving me out on purpose, i know those were just mistakes. i shouldn’t have said you were taking y/n away from me. i shouldn’t have blamed you kai, you’re more than welcome to be in this group. i’m sorry.”

kai becomes speechless at yeonjun’s apology. in all honesty, he forgot that he was yelled at too. he’s been focused this entire time on saving the trio’s relationships that he didn’t realize he needed to be apologized to as well. he’s a bit flustered, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. yeonjun knows how kai can get, so he doesn’t take offense. he finds it quite endearing actually.

“don’t worry about it yeonjun,” kai replies almost breathless, a wholesome grin on his face. it doesn’t take long for him to forgive someone. “i just hope you know that you mean just as much to y/n like the rest of us do, if not even more. you still have your spot!”

yeonjun chuckles and looks back at y/n, being faced with an agreeing smile. he looks down at the ground momentarily before his own smile forms and looks back at kai. “i know.”

taehyun feels satisfied with that being resolved and walks over to the door to let everyone out all at once. what he doesn’t know is beomgyu is right behind him, ready to push him inside like the others. taehyun realizes this once he’s thrown in with everyone else, the famous door lock being heard again. he stares at beomgyu with fierce eyes. beomgyu can only return a dramatic wink.

“i’m sorry too, taehyun,” the boy whips back behind him when he hears his name, seeing that yeonjun is talking to him. for once, he’s a bit caught off guard as he’s not expecting an apology either. “i know i gave you the silent treatment after this all happened and that was mean, you didn’t deserve it. i also shouldn’t get petty not being able to call you by your nickname, i know y/n can have their thing with each of us too.”

taehyun is quite pleased hearing yeonjun’s words, finding him to come across mature. he nods at yeonjun acceptingly, finding that this doesn’t need words. they feel satisfied and taehyun looks over at beomgyu and sieun, gesturing that they’re all ready to leave and that they should open the door. the two get the signal and they walk over, as does taehyun. the door unlocks and beomgyu and sieun expect everyone to walk out, only to be dragged in by taehyun with their arms, earning a couple squeals from each of them.

now that they’re in the room, they wonder what else there could be. everyone else is confused, except for soobin. after seeing each of them dragged in one by one earning an apology, he knew he had another one to give too. soobin gives a couple steps towards the pair and they feel the attention being brought on them.

“hey guys,” soobin drags out in embarrassment. “i took out my frustrations on you and it wasn’t fair. i shouldn’t have said i wouldn’t be surprised if you guys lied to me, i know you wouldn’t. you were just trying to help me and i should’ve seen that. i was a total dick to you both and you didn’t deserve it, i’m sorry.”

if she was going to be honest, sieun expected to hear this. unlike beomgyu, she was more understanding of soobin’s behavior so she’s quick to forgive him for it. beomgyu, who was more hurt by soobin, appreciates this more than anyone else. he reaches out for soobin’s hand to which soobin returns, doing their friendship handshake before they pull in for a hug. everyone can’t help but be delighted. they pull apart and beomgyu moves to the middle, ready to announce.

“so are we all good enough to have dinner together?” he speaks to everyone, still in his carefree manner but deeply nervous that they’ll say no. “we were robbed of eating at that italian place.”

the room feels light again and everyone shares a laugh together, each saying some agreeing words. beomgyu’s elated and they all collectively agree to walk out, ready to share a meal together. each of them walk out one by one and as everyone slowly leaves the interrogation room, soobin and y/n fall behind. yeonjun is the last to walk out and sees the two still in their place and looks at them both.

“we’ll catch up,” y/n sends their friend a reassuring gaze. yeonjun glances at soobin and the two share a smile before yeonjun nods and leaves the room.

after the door closes y/n moves in front of soobin so that they're facing each other. they’ve been through a lot lately and today was certainly a day. although they’re on good terms again, they can’t help but wonder where things will go for them. they were dating, yes, but they never exactly broke up.

“so…what happens with us?” soobin feels the need to ask. he’s not exactly worried, the fact that he and y/n resolved things satisfies him enough. he just wants to be in their life, regardless of the title.

“well,” y/n steps a little closer and they’re both in each other’s space. they look up at the boy with big eyes. “do you still like me?”

“yeah, i do,” soobin confirms with a dimpled smile, the one y/n has been wanting to see. “and i missed you.”

that eases y/n’s heart after having the roughest night yesterday. looking through their texts, wondering if soobin still missed him like he said he’d never stop doing.

“i missed you too,” they reply honestly and add another thing more slyly. “and i still like you too.”

soobin lets out a squeaky laugh, one that y/n has never heard before but they love it so much. “so what do we do now?”

y/n contemplates on the spot. though things are well now, they shouldn’t rush into anything. they both need to adjust to these circumstances, after all, soobin and yeonjun have just barely made up. y/n considers yeonjun’s feelings and feels like he needs to get used to this too. everyone needs to feel comfortable.

“i think we should take it slow,” y/n offers carefully, looking at soobin to make sure he seems to be on board. “we both like each other, that’s enough. i think we should take it one step at a time.”

soobin reaches down for y/n’s hands as he intertwines them. y/n closes their lips together in hopes that he’s in agreement.

“sounds good to me.”

soobin and y/n begin to head to the door, y/n shutting off the lights as soobin opens the door, and the pair walk out together feeling lighter than they ever have.

…

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

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aerodaltonimperial · 1 year ago

Text

✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨

Tagged by @rosabellebelieve and oh girl. Ain't nobody ready for these stats LOL. Uh oh. Also, I've removed all collab fics for purposes of this, as it doesn't really seem fair since I only wrote, like, half of them lmao.

Words and Fics

268,626 words in 2023 (mother of god)

52 fics on AO3 (dear christ)

I'm not even counting Tumblr ficlets, oh god, don't make me

Top 5 Pairings

💚🖤Jack/Darby (24) (NUMBER ONE???? how tho)

🧡🖤Hook/Danhausen (23)

💚🧡Jack/Hook (5)

🔮🍑Julia/Anna (4)

🧡🎤Max Caster/Hook (3) & 🧡🍊Orange/Hook (3) (HAHAHAHAHA)

Top 5 by kudos

i found love where it wasn't supposed to be (right in front of me) [Hookhausen]

man of lesser words [Hookhausen]

don't need a cure for love [Orange/Hook]

baby please (would you read my eulogy) [JungleCorpse]

you're the realest thing i've never had to fake [Hookhausen]

Top 5 by hits

baby please (would you read my eulogy) [JungleCorpse]

i found love where it wasn't supposed to be (right in front of me) [Hookhausen]

now you know how i feel [Hookhausen]

Weekend in Fresno: or, a Hook choose your own dating adventure [Hook/everyone]

threat level: euclid [HH, JC, SP]

Fandom Events in 2023

I made it to a wrestling show! Since they never go near me and my life is what it is, I really can't manage more than one a year, and I've got to be lucky to get that to work, but this was a big deal and I'm so happy that I could make it happen!

ALSO I MADE UP A FUCKING PAIRING AND GOT IT TO THE #1 FOR BOTH PARTIES INVOLVED you know what this counts as an event LMAOOOOO i'm thinking no one should actually have this power

Upcoming Projects

If I ever stop bemoaning my perceived lack of skill, I've got 2/3 of a fic that Vamp prompted dialogue for, largely me writing something fluffy and saccharine because she was trying to write smut and we were both trying to write out of our wheelhouses lol

Writing reflection

Well! 2023 was quite a year, honestly. I was going to be like OH HOLY SHIT about my word count but when I took our collabs, it dropped so fast, so that's good, I guess (???). I'm still so happy I discovered wrestling, because it's been easily 12 years since I had this amount of creativity for a single fandom. And this year I really stretched out and started writing new stuff within the wrestling fandom! That's exciting (depending what you followed me for, I suppose LOL).

But more than anything else, this year I looked at what I wanted to write and said, FUCK IT, I'M WRITING IT. And I started dropping horror shit I fully expected that no one would read, because I didn't think people came to fandom for spooky stuff??? And lo and behold, y'all really showed up for those fics! I'm forever grateful you saw me writing absolutely batshit horror and were like yes, Katy, we will also read this creepfest. So much love.

I also tried to write more smut, which I am not particularly adept at, and also some darker themes. I do try to write lighthearted things, haha, but my own mental state has been not stellar, and I think that tends to come out in my fics. And I started writing femslash, which this fandom needs so much more of! So. All in all, a real banger year for me in fandom. I'm pretty proud of a LOT of the fics I wrote this year.

And, obviously, 2023 would not be complete with me mentioning that Vamp and I produced an epic shit ton of words together, and MORE IMPORTANTLY had an absolute blast in doing so. What a whirlwind writing together has been!!! I think we've really gotten to this point of just great flow, and I'm super proud of how we work so well like we do. We DO HAVE SOMETHING ELSE COMING but we've been "planning" it since August and haven't written it yet, so HAHAHA. Anyway. Expect that in 2025, or something. ;)

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums.

Tagging: @whysamwhy123 @meeplanguage @fille-lioncelle and anyone else who wants to take a stab at this!

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theconstitutionisgayculture · 10 months ago

Note

Sorry another zoomer anon about comics

Actually I was referring to new 52 about batgirl and Starfire. Did you know new 52 stated that Starfire don’t remember people names unless she had sex with them?

Obviously that was ignored and retcon to hell and back. But comic writers, there a difference between being a sexual liberating woman vs being a hentai slut

Also about a year ago iirc, the old head of DC Dan Didio (who responsible for the mess that was new 52 and 2010’s shit) said that comics lost a generation of heroes because mines wasn’t interested in superheroes…during the height of the MCU

Pssst Didio let me tell you something, there something called the internet so my generation can look up the history of dc and marvel comics.

We are not getting emotionally invested in comics who are handle by fuckers with the mentality of a ten year old

So we went to manga and hmm, what that popular shounen?

MY FUCKING HERO ACADEMIA! YOU DIDN’T LOSE A GENERATION OF READERS BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T INTERESTED IN SUPERHEROES! YOU LOST THEM BECAUSE WE CAN SMELL SHITTY COMICS LIKE HOW A BLOODHOUND SMELLS PISS!!

Ugh, how…out of touch these fuckers are?

Also you guys made it damn near impossible to get easy access to comics so manga is far easier to get. Obviously you can….but a comic shop is a huge luxury item

Sorry for this essay rant, and I only been into comics for ten fucking years

Pssst Didio let me tell you something, there something called the internet so my generation can look up the history of dc and marvel comics.

OMG YES. THIS. FUCK.

Sorry, about to hijack this ask to go on a rant but my God I fucking hate this idea that people can only ever be interested in things that they experience in real time. It's such bullshit. Do you know what I wasn't alive for? The original run of Spider-Man written by Stan Lee. You know what my favorite Spider-Man stories are? The original run of Spider-Man written by Stan Lee. I got into Spider-Man because of the 90s animated series on Fox Kids. From there, I got a few of the comics that were running at the time, and from there I found the Marvel Masterworks collections and absolutely devoured the older stories. And even for books I didn't really have much interest in like Captain America or Iron Man, I would get Marvel Encyclopedias and learn about the pasts and presents of all the comic characters, even some I'd never heard of. True fans will always seek out the past of the things they love. You think people who fell in love with the Lord of the Rings movies aren't devouring The Silmarillion? You think the kid whose first Star Wars experience is seeing The Mandalorian isn't going back and watching the original trilogy? You think someone whose only experience with Batman is the Nolan Trilogy isn't going to find and absolutely love Frank Miller's Batman Year One? Of course they are. True fans don't have blinders. True fans will educate themselves on the things they love.

You know who won't, though? You know who just consumes the things that are put in front of them and will never go beyond that, either through laziness or because they don't want to see anything that's "old" or "out of touch"?

Tourists.

Tourists are great during tourist season, but very few come back every year. And in the off-season, it's the locals who keep the place running. You can't always depend on tourists. They'll happily move onto the next big tourist destination at the drop of a hat. But the locals, the true fans? They'll always be there. They'll be buying books, buying merch, going to the movies, generating enthusiasm, organizing conventions, and everything else that comes along with being a true fan. The only things that will drive them away are when the people in charge of the things they love attack them personally or change the things they love into something unrecognizable. And even then, most will still love the thing as it used to be. The fans who hate Rings of Power didn't throw out their Lord of the Rings Extended Edition blu-ray collections. The fans who hate Disney Star Wars didn't smash their original VHS copies of the unaltered original trilogy. And true fans aren't just old fans or original fans. The thing about being a local is that anyone can move into town. And if they stay long enough and fit into the local culture, everyone else will embrace them.

So fuck Didio and everyone else who thinks tourists are the only group that matters. Fuck everyone who thinks that "modern audiences" can't love something from a different era with different stories and different characters from what everyone else is shitting out today. It's bullshit, and it always has been.

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study-with-aura · 9 months ago

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Sunday, February 18, 2024

I had so much fun today at the workshop. There were a few girls there that I knew from previous events and even from summer camp, but then I met a couple of new faces too. We practiced setting SMART goals for a long-term goal. Mine was getting into one of my top three picks for university. Then we set medium and short term goals to get the idea of how that works. We also learned about budgeting to meet our financial goals.

I have a savings account that my parents opened for me when I was very little. When I turned 13 last year, I was able to open a teen checking account, so I have access to a debit card now. The workshop was helpful in thinking about how to balance income and expenses in other ways than I had already learned. I think it will be immensely helpful when I'm old enough to have a job and have my license for a car. But an allowance of $14 a week does add up over time.

My parents also presented me today with a bible study for teen girls book. I wanted to get an idea of what it was like, so I did the day 1 reading today along with the reflection questions. I think from now on, I will do the reflection questions at the end of the week. There are 52 weeks in the book. The idea was that I also use that to supplement my Bible course for school. Technically I am supposed to be journaling about the readings, but it is really hard to think of what to write, so I don't do it. My parents thought that having something like this book, even if the readings won't be the same, would give me something to journal about so I'm meeting the credit requirements for the course. I think it is a good idea, and I like having prompts for reflection.

Tasks Completed:

Piano - Practiced for 2 hours in 1 hour split sessions

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 3-46 of My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix by Kalynn Bayron

Chores - Put the dishes away + vacuumed my bedroom, the study, and the front room + swept and mopped the kitchen floor

Activities of the Day:

Church

Bible Study

Personal Bible Study (Isaiah 41) + reflection

Girl Scouts badge workshop (My Financial Power)

Journaling/Mindfulness

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful for the people I met today and the new Bible study book that my parents bought me.

Quote of the Day:

This story is for everyone who has ever wondered if you are enough, just as you are. The answer is yes.

-My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix, Kalynn Bayron

🎧Moment musical, op. 94, no. 3 - Franz Schubert

#study community #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyblr #studyblr community #study-with-aura

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nerdmorkai · 1 year ago

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Make me Admit Stuff (I'll do it myself edition)

MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Yes

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? No

3. Have you taken someones virginity? No

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Yes, my anxiety is bad enough with someone I trust.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yes

6. What are you excited for? Finding Peace and getting laid (it's been a while)

7. What happened tonight? Chilled with a friend.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Yes, but it's anyone. My disgust is not gender specific.

9. Is confidence cute? Sure

10. What is the last beverage you had? Water

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Five

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Yes, I'm old

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Smoke and chill in Philly

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Presents

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Hopefully in spirit

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I'd imagine so, trauma usually does that.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? I have two close male friends I would tell anything and two female friends I would tell anything.

18. The last time you felt broken? Currently

19. Have you had sex today? Haha, no.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?I really have to start working towards re-building the life I want.

21. Are you in a good mood? Meh, 50/50

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Not really.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yes

24. What do you want right this second? Physical touch

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Be bummed, but people will do what they want.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Yes

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Nope, gotta laugh.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Watched Mark Maron's last night. Dark, funny, and I laughed a lot.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? For the rest of my life.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Always.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? I don't really talk to boys. I guess no, my son is 14; he's still a boy.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? I'm sure they have suspicions

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Yup, maybe once or twice a year.

34. Listening to? we're eating each other - Juliet Ivy

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Yes, I take a lot of notes to help me remember things.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? In an urn waiting to be spread on a mountainside.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, it's happened to me.

38. Who did you last call? I don't make many phone calls. Estate Lawyer.

39. Who was the last person you danced with? My wife

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Love, so much fucking love.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? I'm not a cake guy. A few years. Pie though...

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Oh yea, I'm an idiot.

44. Do you tan in the nude? Haha, I don't tan. I am the whitest of white folk.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Never

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Many times.

47. Who was the last person to call you? Debt collector, only adulting shit starts with a phone call nowadays.

48. Do you sing in the shower? No

49. Do you dance in the car? Head bobs

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes, I was a boy scout. It's been twenty years probably.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Wedding day

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? They can be, but that's also part of the fun.

53. Is Christmas stressful? Depends on the finances.

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes, I live in prime Pennsylvannia Dutch territory.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Mixed berry

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Comic book artist

57. Do you believe in ghosts? No in ways that are on Ghost Hunters.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? All the time. Especially from dreams.

59. Take a vitamin daily? Yes

60. Wear slippers? No, I am usually barefoot

61. Wear a bath robe? Sometimes but rarely. Usually just walk naked to the dresser.

62. What do you wear to bed? boxer briefs

63. First concert? Hooty and the Blowfish

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? None of them.

65. Nike or Adidas? Neither

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I don't have one.

69. Ever take dance lessons? Nope, but I've thought about it.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Nope.

71. Can you curl your tongue? And hotdog.

72. Ever won a spelling bee? No

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes

74. What is your favorite book? American Gods by Neil Gaimen

75. Do you study better with or without music? With, but no lyrics. I listen to a lot of lofi while working.

76. Regularly burn incense? Yup

77. Ever been in love? I'd say three times.

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Lonely Island Crew

79. What was the last concert you saw? James Arthur

80. Hot tea or cold tea? If I had to only drink one, hot.

81. Tea or coffee? Coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie? Peanut butter

83. Can you swim well? I wouldn't say well. Mediocre.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes

85. Are you patient? Extremely

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ

87. Ever won a contest? No

88. Ever have plastic surgery? No

89. Which are better black or green olives? Indifferent

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Required, sexual compatibility is very important for a healthy relationship (to me).

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room/Den

92. Do you want to get married? No, I don't think I will

#me

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sixty-silver-wishes · 1 year ago

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Original short story- Knees

(Content warning- This story includes references to substance and domestic abuse, as well as detailed descriptions of decomposition and gore.)

The hazy air suffocated with the scent of cotton candy and the colour yellow. Chattering weaved its way in and out of bubbling blasts of brass, a soni-jazz band playing on a stage not far from the excitement.

“D’you think the winners from last year are here?” a whisper landed in an ear.

“Who, Terrence and Paolino?”

“Yeah, them.”

“I hear Terrence is taking the year off. As he should, in my opinion. Was hell for him, but my, was he swell to watch! Never seen legs like that in my life. Maybe he’ll be back next year, though-- but for now, let’s hope this year’s competitors will beat our expectations.”

Behind a velvet curtain, Margot scrutinised her appearance in a mirror. Knobby knees- certainly not an attractive feature. After all, the crowd’s eyes would constantly be on her knees. There was a scab on the left one- a minor flaw, but nevertheless one that would be sure to be magnified a thousand times on the overhead screen. Her hair, at least, was immaculate- done in those old-timey waves that had been making a comeback ever since the economy crashed. 2052, and everyone was obsessed with everything 1930s, no doubt as a way to cope with the Depression that had made its cycle around American history and was now once again knocking at the present’s door. Likewise, her vintage dress was likely impractical compared to the more athletic wear other competitors sported, but was sure to score points with the audience, particularly young, impressionable fashionistas. She flexed an arm in the mirror- thankfully, she was strong enough to qualify this year. Her arms would no doubt be her greatest asset for the next few days, maybe even weeks if it came to it.

A tap lightly jabbed at her shoulder. “Looks like we’re partners,” a voice said.

“What?” She turned to see a man- hair neatly combed, one red suspender hanging off his shoulder.

“You’re Margot McLee, right? I drew a fifty-two in the bowl up front, and you drew one too, which means we’re partners. Is that okay with you?”

Margot looked him up and down. “Yes,” she said slowly, her heart lurching as she took note of his untied shoes. “Your shoes are untied.”

“Oh! Right. That’s- that’s not good, is it?” He bent down, fumbling with his shoelaces before managing to work each one into a knot. “There we go. Can’t believe I forgot- you see, I was out on the farm all morning, trying to bring in the grain. You remember how in the thirties there was a dust bowl, right? A couple, I think. Well, I was thinking, with all this thirties craze, what if it happens again? So I thought it would be smart to stock up our grain. I’m Frederick. Walters.”

He stuck out a hand to her, and she shook it, hoping he would soon prove to be far more coordinated. People around them were beginning to partner up, and Margot could tell instantly that she’d have better chances with a good amount of them than with him. Still, she and Frederick had both drawn a 52, so they were stuck together until one of them disqualified- or they won.

“This was also a big thirties thing, you know,” Frederick said, checking his hair in the mirror. “These ridiculous dance competitions. Probably just as dangerous then as it is now, although at least we’ve got better medicine and all. Guess we’re still just as stupid, though, signing up for this sort of thing. Say, why are you in?”

Margot folded her arms. “Why are you?”

“Oh, I just thought, say, the barn’s got a leak on the roof, and I’ve got my family at home, and while we do what we can, chances are with the way things are going, we’ll have to sell the farm. So why not enter a little shindig like this and try for that prize money? Course, I’m not expecting to win, but if we get out, at least we’ll get to watch everyone else- that’ll be exciting, won’t it?”

Margot didn’t answer.

“You’re one of the more serious ones, aren’t you? Really focused on that money. Well, looks like I’m in luck- in these sorts of things, it’s good to have a determined partner. And I’m in top form, so you don’t have anything to worry about. And if we lose, well, we’ll get by. Maybe. I think.”

“If we lose, we don’t get the prize money,” Margot answered pointedly. “Both of us have a shot at it, and I know why I need it. So I suggest you save your breath.”

Frederick sighed. “You’re probably right,” he answered.

A loud noise sounded from outside- a blasting chord from the band, followed by a voice over a speaker.

“Dancers, will you take your places?” the voice blared. Margot downed a glass of water, then reapplied her lipstick before making her way into a long procession that filed in two lines past the curtain. Frederick smiled at her from the other line. She didn’t return it, only glanced at the knees of the dancers in front of her. Hers look formidable; I might be in for some competition. And his aren’t too bad, either. And theirs? Weak, definitely.

Could be stronger.

Weak.

Strong.

Weak.

Sunlight and soni-jazz blasted in a wave over her eyes and ears as she stepped past the curtain, glancing about at the crowd. She lined up with Frederick and took his hands as the others took their partners’. Last year, she had been eliminated on the second day. But this time, she’d been training, and the prize would certainly be hers.

“Welcome to the third annual Everswing!” the voice over the speaker blared. “Just like the last two years, one hundred and fifty couples will be dancing for as long as they can, with the chance to win fifty million- and we said million- dollars. We would like to remind our competitors that food and restroom breaks will be given for ten minutes every two hours, physical violence will result in an immediate disqualification, and-”

“Once your knees touch the ground, why then, you’re out!” the crowd chorused. Margot found herself mouthing along with them.

“That’s right! If a competitor’s knees touch the ground, they and their partner will be considered disqualified. The prize will be awarded to both members of the last couple standing- fifty million- and we said million- for each. Now, when the band starts up again, the third annual Everswing will officially start!”

Margot steeled her nerves as the band struck up an antiquated waltz- something pleasant and slow to begin with. Couples whirled about the vast arena, some in billowing skirts and others in exercise wear. Still, the most popular choice of clothing seemed to be gingham dresses or burlap-bag suit jackets, cleverly tailored to resemble tweed. They stepped carefully around a series of ambling notes from a muted trumpet, supplemented by computer-generated record static. Frederick’s hands were rough, and Margot noted in horror that he often stepped a little too close to her toes.

“You don’t know how to waltz?” she hissed above the music.

“Well, not exactly,” he said. “Look, I know it’s one of the required dances for the Everswing, but I spent a little more time on the Balboa. That was the one they started with last year, remember? Lots of people got disqualified with that one.”

“Watch your feet.” Margot swayed expertly back and forth, her chest pressed to Frederick’s. The crowd loved a little chemistry, even if it was completely feigned, and being a crowd favourite sometimes meant extra food or medicinal care during breaks- maybe even a change of shoes or a tube of ointment. However, Frederick didn’t seem to get the hint, instead watching the other dancers as Margot attempted to make eye contact with him.

“My eyes,” she whispered. “Look at them.”

“Uh, they’re nice?”

“Just trust me on this one if you want to stay in.”

He nodded, looking into her eyes. She noticed his were an odd shade between grey and green- like dishwater left to mould. It was difficult to tell how much time had passed, but waltzing gradually grew easier, even mechanical. Clockwork automatons may as well have been whirling around them, with hearts that beat in copper time. The waltz looped over and over, fading into background noise. Lazy conversation from the crowd set in- it seemed as if they were growing bored.

“You never told me,” Frederick said, sweat on his brow. “Why are you here again?”

“Same reason you are,” Margot answered dismissively. “Money.”

“Money for what?”

“Same reason everyone else is here. Because we all want money.”

“There’s got to be a bigger reason than that.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“So there is.”

Margot stepped back, then forwards. Her knees were holding up surprisingly well. Someone in the band was strumming a guitar. She could have sworn she heard two people in the audience talking about their plans for dinner.

She couldn’t feel her legs by the time a bell rang- the break, finally. Hands dropped from waists, hanging like lead. A collective sigh swept through the arena. Women in white uniforms marched out of the curtain, handing each competitor a bottle of water and a plate of plain potatoes and chicken. Noisy chomping and slurping was quickly drowned out by the band, and a number of competitors rushed back behind the curtain to the restrooms.

“This is good,” Frederick said through a mouthful of chicken. “Not as good as what we have at home, but then again, you can’t get better than fresh.”

Margot couldn’t help but agree -- the food was good. That was another benefit of competing -- food and drink were ensured to dancers, while scraping to get by was the norm for most. Even disqualified competitors, of which there were now a few, sat in the bleachers and received their own portions. By the time their plates were collected and those who had left to relieve themselves had returned, the remaining competitors were ready to proceed to the next dance.

A bolt of sound exploded from the band, now playing an upbeat standard. The arena began to shimmy with bodies, stomping and whirling with a newfound vigour. Frederick, more energetic than ever, easily found his way into this number, while Margot couldn’t help but laugh. Sure, his dancing wasn’t perfect, but he was able to keep up, and more importantly, keep on his feet. Sharp whistles surrounded them as dancers fell to their knees and the loudspeaker announced their disqualification, making Margot and Frederick dance even faster, this shrill dissonance the sweetest music to them.

“My husband’s drug addiction!” Margot announced as she whirled around Frederick, giddy with bright lights and drunk on soni-jazz.

“What?”

“You wanted to know why I’m here,” Margot said, allowing Frederick to dip her in his arms.

“Your what?” He spun her around.

“He’s violent and hasn’t been able to find employment since last year,” she said, a shimmy in her step. “So I’m going to take the next plane out to Sweden and live with my aunt! We’re going to win this, you know! We’re going to win!” High on expectations, she continued dancing- dancing away from shattered glass bottles and blood-red screams and stolen caches of the smallest amounts of money. She could do this- she knew she could, and she would keep dancing, sun-up and sun-down, until her bone-cracked feet touched green grass all the way across the ocean.

“We’re going to win!” Frederick echoed, facing the cameras. “You hear that, Margot’s shitty husband? We’re going to win!” Whistles sounded left and right as the dejected trudged out of the arena, but the couple whirled about confidently. Soon enough, fatigue set in, and the band slowed. Water bottles, bathroom breaks, and food arrived now and again, and day gave way to night. Still, they continued to dance, Frederick’s head on Margot’s shoulder as they swayed. Every once in a while, they would be startled by a whistle- someone had collapsed in exhaustion, only to be woken to disqualification. The number of couples had dwindled to one hundred and twenty, then ninety. Those who stayed determined danced until sunrise, when fifty remained. By the next break, when eggs and plant-based bacon were served along with coffee and the most popular couples were awarded with shoes and balms, forty-three couples were left to dance another day.

Margot and Frederick barely talked to each other, their leaden limbs carrying on the motions through dance after dance. They had stumbled a few times each, but had always managed to catch themselves. Dancing became a duty, an obligation. Margot was so enveloped in fulfilling it that she hardly noticed another girl with her partner, dancing up alongside her.

“You’ve made it pretty far,” the other girl panted.

“Yep,” Margot managed.

“Georgia.”

“I’m Margot.”

“No. From Georgia. Hannah.”

“Hannah,” Margot replied. “I’m from Kansas-Nebraska.”

Hannah-from-Georgia twirled in her skirt, her finger waves now undone and wild around her head. “Haven’t… done a lot of talking. To other women.”

“Busy dancing,” Margot replied, doing her best to step away.

“Busy dancing,” Frederick echoed after her, his face red and drenched in sweat. He breathed laboriously, his lungs wheezing for air. “Busy dancing.” He and Margot slowed, but did not stop moving.

“Why… here?” Hannah breathed.

“Husband,” Margot answered.

“Farm,” Frederick said, his head lolling on his shoulders.

“No jobs,” Hannah said. “Better to dance.”

A whistle sounded. Hannah and her partner, a man far older than her, kept dancing. He tightened his grip on her waist, and Hannah pushed him back with as much strength as she could handle. The man swayed once, twice, and stumbled back- but Hannah pulled him up.

“Knew you would,” he grinned.

“Not for you.” Hannah glared at him.

Three dances later had Margot and Frederick alongside another couple.

“Todd.”

“Bethany.”

“Margot.”

“Fred…erick.”

Todd was dancing to pay for a surgery for a fatal illness; Bethany to go to college. The day wore on. Nicholas was dancing because he wanted to accomplish something in life; Shanelle because she lost her home in a flood. George, Aspen, Mary, Walter, Henry, Jacob because none of them knew what else to live for. Richard, Oliver, Keisha, Pablo, Laila, Timothy because they had danced with someone they loved long ago and had forgotten how it felt to dance with someone again, and if 2052 was going to get any harder, goddammit, they wanted to spend as much of it as they could dancing.

And then, at three in the afternoon, when the New Oklahoma sun was beaming as hard as it dared to, right after a break, the yellow in the air thickened to gold and the scent of cotton candy turned to that of burned sugar. Frederick coughed once, then twice, blood spurted from his mouth in a thin red river, and he never got himself to dance again.

Margot felt him slacken in her arms, just managing to catch him before both of them hit the ground. His one loose suspender slid from his shoulder.

He’s dead, Margot thought as soni-jazz distorted and undulated around them, trumpets and chiptunes moaning in time with the electric double bass. She looked at the ground, then at Frederick’s knees- once strong knees, grown weak with two straight days and nights of fatigue. Knees that bent and straightened to help carry bushels of honeyed wheat into a creaking barn, knees that knelt to comfort sick and ailing brothers and sisters, knees that once belonged to a laughing child, collecting scabs and dirt as they climbed trees and kicked through cold rivers.

Knees that were not touching the ground.

Margot didn’t know if the spectators watching the dance could even tell that Frederick was no longer alive. The band played on, vibrant as ever. Remaining couples stomped and swayed around them, loping in dizzying circles like buzzing flies. Once-carefully styled hair clung to drooping faces and stuck out at odd angles, quaint clothing that once emulated the perceived simplicity of a bygone age now torn, soiled, and faded as the past. Breaks were treated with the reverence of a pilgrimage, water and ointment and potatoes and shoes and socks and soap and coffee sometimes stolen or bartered for. The no physical violence rule would have been broken time and again if the competitors weren’t so exhausted, every step, twirl, and shake torture on bodies that could barely breathe. Those who fell on their knees may have been doing so in prayer, in surrender, before they were taken away on stretchers.

Knees. Weak knees, strong knees, broken knees, scarred and scabbed knees, old and young knees of many shapes, sizes, and colours.

But still dancing, still swaying to the serenade of harsh strings and wheezing brass, were a pair of dead knees.

Margot remembered the day she married him. Dean. A nice man, well-off. Something ran in his family, he always said, but he never said what it was. Once, when she asked while they were in bed, he said it was luck, but she didn’t know if that was true. When the second Depression struck, she could tell he was lying. He gambled, but lost most times, and the times he did win, he downed bottles, sometimes of beer and sometimes of pills. Margot often found needles in the washing machine, and received a fist to the stomach when she asked why they were there. She learned early on not to ask, only to dispose of them.

She loved to dance. As a child, she begged her parents to allow her to take lessons, and she did, ribbons adorning her legs and satin slippers on her feet. As a teenager, she followed every dance craze that surfaced on social media. In college, she went to clubs, dancing with boys and girls she didn’t know, but wanted to know forever, at least for the night. Dean, at least, tolerated her dancing when the Depression hit, because the competitions meant that if he did not receive the luck he said he did, perhaps she would instead. When she heard the whistle the previous year, it sounded instead like the earth cracking down the centre.

Now, she was dancing with a dead man. Frederick was heavy, and as she swayed with him, his head lolled back and forth in a most unsettling manner. Sometimes, fluids leaked out. She dared not hold his waist too tight, and hoped his family wasn’t watching the televised competition.

The next day, three other couples remained. Frederick was beginning to bloat. Some of the buttons on his shirt had snapped off, revealing greying flesh underneath. His face, reddened at the time of death, was now ash-pale. His boots dragged along the ground, his feet scraping where the soles had worn off. Flies had gathered in his eyes and Margot’s, and she did her best to swat them away while keeping Frederick’s body from falling. They soon became the most popular couple.

Word spread about the woman who had fled her abusive husband and had met a man in the Everswing, and had fallen in love with him so hard that she wanted to dance with him forever, even past death. The other couples- down to two- had gotten used to this by now, dancing at far ends of the arena to avoid the putrid smell. But the crowd loved it. Margot received shoes and dresses, comfortable stockings, delicious and energising foods, and even Frederick received a silicone mask to hide his face, which had now been picked to unrecognizeability by crows and insects. The mask, however, slid down to his nose, making him an even more awful sight. He was gifted perfumes and garlands of flowers, which Margot was all too eager to apply to his ballooning body. When his stomach erupted with maggots, the audience too erupted into hungry applause.

By evening, her reddened fingers touched bone- perhaps he would have decayed much slower, had he not been danced with and dragged about all day. Margot would have cried for him, but she hadn’t the strength left in her to cry- only to dance, and to dance until the end of time. Meanwhile, t-shirts printed with images of what had once been Frederick’s face were handed out to the crowd.

One other couple remained- Frieda Lopez and Belle Laroche. Frieda had been a figure skater at the very last Olympics -- Nairobi 2048 -- and Belle a ballet professor at Juilliard. Both, once champions of their respective arts, commanded attention and respect. Bets were placed on them, and they had nearly made it to a tenth night last year- only having stopped because Frieda had a family emergency to attend to. They wondered whether to pity Margot or be disgusted with her, but all they could do, like her, was keep dancing. They had their devoted fans, as did the grotesque couple who continued their ritual opposite the arena.

Late at night, the band struck up again- something hot that got even the audience tapping their toes. Drums throbbed in Margot’s head, and Frieda and Belle mustered the strength to perform a rousing tango. Frederick’s mask slipped some more, taking his nose with it.

Margot laughed- who would have known she would have made it this far, and in these circumstances? Was Dean watching? The world was watching; how could he not be? By now, she was sure the image of her and Fredrick (now nicknamed “Maggot” and “Dead-drick” respectively in certain online circles) was making its rounds across the horrified and fascinated globe. Soni-jazz threatened to swallow her whole, and she wanted to be devoured, dissolving into fuzzy black-and-white half-digested memories of a quasi-recollected past, spinning into a mess of phonograph crackle and beating hearts now stilled for a million eternities. The first time she’d danced with a man in such a long time, she’d been doing so for anywhere from less than a week to forever, and he was covered in cockroaches and larvae and his nose had fallen off and one of his eyes was gone and perhaps- although she could be mistaken- his brain was leaking out a bit. But she kept dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing, because if she danced fast enough, she’d be taken into a past past her past, somewhere that no longer existed, never existed, and never would again. The soni-jazz screamed, wailed, even begged for her to stop, but her feet kept pounding at the ground, whirling in circles with what was left of Frederick, desperate for something to be over and something to begin, although she had no idea what ending and beginning meant anymore.

She didn’t stop until Frederick’s leg, with a terrible crack, swung high into the air and landed straight in front of Frieda and Belle, who both fainted. Margot, her hands covered in browning blood, froze, staring at the knees on the ground -- knees, everywhere, knees -- and with a chilling realisation, was nearly crushed by the fact that she was the last person standing in the arena.

#writing #short story #original writing #horror

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codthefishgod · 3 months ago

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01. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Uh, depends which ones you're talking about. Yes to some, no to others.

02. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My mum.

03. Do you regret anything? Is there anyone alive who doesn't?

04. Are you insecure? Sometimes. Not right now, though.

05. What is your relationship status? Single.

06. How do you want to die? When I'm ready to.

07. What did you last eat? An enchilada.

08. Played any sports? Played cross country for a little while.

09. Do you bite your nails? Yes. Not out of anxiety though, it's just a habit.

10. When was your last physical fight? No clue, probably around 12? My brother and I fought a lot until he moved in with my bio dad.

11. Do you like someone? In what way? Romantic? No. Platonic? Yes, I like my best friend.

12. Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Yes.

13. Do you hate anyone at the moment? I find it very difficult to hate, honestly, even though I have very good reason to. No.

14. Do you miss someone? Sometimes.

15. Have any pets? No.

16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Neutral.

17. Ever made out in the bathroom? No.

18. Are you scared of spiders? Yes. If they're in a glass cage or outdoors not so much though.

19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? No.

20. Where was the last place you snogged someone? On the left, you'll see the sign, it says "Neverville".

21. What are your plans for this weekend? Finish my presentation, continue my rewatch of Gravity Falls, work on drawings I haven't finished, work on writing I haven't finished.

22. Do you want to have kids? How many? No.

23. Do you have piercings? How many? Two, one in each ear.

24. What is/are/were your best subject(s)? I excel a nearly equal amount in all of my classes. I don't think I could pick one out specifically and say it's my best one. We'll see though, the night's still young.

25. Do you miss anyone from your past? Same as 14.

26. What are you craving right now? Long term? Peace. Short term? That song I found last night, I really want to listen to it again so I can think about Faroff.

27. Have you ever broken someone's heart? It's possible, unfortunately don't have the means to ask. Not romantically though.

28. Have you ever been cheated on? No.

29. Have you ever made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? No.

30. What's irritating you right now? My hair.

31. Does somebody love you? Yes.

32. What is your favourite colour? Orange.

33. Do you have trust issues? I don't think so.

34. Who/what was your last dream about? Can't remember.

35. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mum.

36. Do you give out second chances too easily? No. I have forgiveness, obviously, but there's a line there.

37. Is it easier to forgive or forget? Forget.

38. Is this year the best year of your life? Yeah, actually. A lot of good things have been going for me this year.

39. How old were you when you had your first kiss? Haven't had it, probably never will.

40. Have you ever walked outside completely naked? I don't think so, but I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere so that chance is higher than 0.

41. Favourite food? Tamales. And ravioli.

42. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? No.

43. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Took off my glasses.

44. Is cheating ever okay? No.

45. Are you mean? No.

46. How many people have you fist fought? None.

47. Do you believe in true love? Yes.

48. Favourite weather? In the early morning right after it's rained.

49. Do you like the snow? No.

50. Do you wanna get married? No.

51. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No.

52. What makes you happy? Faroff and my best friend.

53. Would you change your name? Absolutely, if it wasn't a pain in the ass.

54. Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Yes, 'cause I haven't kissed anyone.

55. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Tell them the feeling isn't mutual.

56. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can act your complete self around? No.

57. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My stepdad.

58. Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with? Some online friends last night.

59. Do you believe in soulmates? No.

60. Is there anyone you would die for? I wouldn't know unless I was in that situation.

(Has anyone realised this is 60 questions not 70)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

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gothamghostwhispers · 3 months ago

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1-70 (all)

Oh boy all of them?? Alright here we go

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

They’re both dead but I had a good relationship with my mom and a bad one with my dad

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

That’d be my husband Beau

03: Do you regret anything?

Everyone has their regrets

04: Are you insecure?

Eeeeeh depends

05: What is your relationship status?

Married! ^u^

06: How do you want to die?

Like in my sleep I guess? Or like surrounded by friends and family where I know they’re safe

07: What did you last eat?

Uuuuuuuuuh….. I think last night

08: Played any sports?

I did dance up until I was 16…

09: Do you bite your nails?

Not really, used to buy got out of the habit when Calendar Man told me how that got his last goons caught by the Bat so I stopped at like 17ish

10: When was your last physical fight?

A couple weeks ago

11: Do you like someone?

Yeah

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Yes, in college

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Yes

14: Do you miss someone?

Yeah :c I miss my husband, I’m glad I went to a specialist but it was difficult to sleep

15: Have any pets?

Anon we have so many pets, and also also some creatures that live here but are not pets

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Relieved, doctors switched out the additives for a saline drip so Peeta should be waking up soon

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

18: Are you scared of spiders?

I’m basically the designated spider catcher in the goonion because of my notorious lack of a care about spiders

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

No. I like the present very much actually, way more then my past

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

…. The lab

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

As long as nothing happens? Weekend in

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I’ve actually always wanted to have kids, never wanted to give birth though which was a whole thing for a bit

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Yes… let see… a labret, nose, both lobes, upper lobe on my left, and both orbital conchs… so that’s 7

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

English for sure, but also fae lore is probably my best subject now since meeting Beau

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Sometimes I miss Anna, but she was still deep in the cult… she was even there for the abduction

26: What are you craving right now?

Batburger

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I don’t think I have?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

I don’t think so?

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Hospitals smell bad

31: Does somebody love you?

Yes

32: What is your favourite color?

Blue

33: Do you have trust issues?

Eeeeeh I don’t think my issues are do use around trust

I’m pretty good at figuring out who to trust

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I had a strange dream, I was floating inside a giant tube and Beau walked in and like dropped his clipboard with a shocked express

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Beau

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Eeeeeh not sure nobody’s really bothered for a second chance

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

I think it might be yeah

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

I think I was 15?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

51: Favourite food?

Is it corny to say anything my husband makes for me? I like a lot of things

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Yeah

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Checked the locks and set up traps since hotel locks are garbage

54: Is cheating ever okay?

No, you set the rules of the relationship why would you ever break them?

55: Are you mean?

I don’t think I am

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Too many to count

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yes

58: Favourite weather?

I like slightly cloudy days and clear skies at night

59: Do you like the snow?

It’s alright, I don’t like the cold but snow is alright

60: Do you wanna get married?

I am married and I’m still having a wedding later

Yes clearly

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Depends on how it’s said

62: What makes you happy?

There’s a lot of things that make me happy, spending time with my family, reading… like there’s many things in life that bring joy

63: Would you change your name?

I already changed my name once and I like my current name

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Not at all

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Uuuuh next question

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

What does complete self even mean?

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

I think it was one of the doctors

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

That’d be my eldest daughter Sofia

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Kind of hard not to

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Yeah, my family

#whispers #only in gotham #only in gotham rp #bugboi #alvi #Sofia #Peeta #Anna #ask meme

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wutbju · 4 months ago

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And who exactly tore a New England town apart? You got it -- a BJU grad.

Few were present at the select board meeting in Littleton, N.H., last August when Carrie Gendreau, one of its members, began to talk about a mural that had recently been painted on the side of a building downtown.

Until that moment, it had not attracted much attention. Its subject matter — a blooming iris, dandelions, birch trees — did not seem controversial.

But for Ms. Gendreau, 62, who was also a state senator representing northern New Hampshire, the mural had set off alarms. She was certain there were subversive messages in its imagery, planted there by the nonprofit group that had planned and paid for it.

The group was North Country Pride, founded four years ago to build more visible support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in the rural region.

“We need to be very careful,” Ms. Gendreau said at the meeting. She urged residents to “research” what the mural “really means,” and called for closer oversight of other public art.

“I don’t want that to be in our town,” she said.

Long before Ms. Gendreau raised her concerns, igniting an uprising against her, people in Littleton knew they did not all think alike. Half had voted for Joe Biden in 2020; half supported President Donald J. Trump. Still, they thought they had an understanding: that they would do their best to get along, often by keeping their politics or religious beliefs to themselves. This was New Hampshire, after all, where the state motto is “live free or die.”

As word spread about Ms. Gendreau’s comments, many in the town of 6,000 saw them as a jarring break in protocol.

“I was friends with Carrie,” said Kerri Harrington, an acupuncturist who had followed local government and respected Ms. Gendreau’s diligent work on the board. “I knew our politics were different, I knew she was religious, but there are a lot of religious people here.”

“This was the first time I realized she had that agenda,” Ms. Harrington said.

Ms. Gendreau, an evangelical Christian who said she got calls from as far away as Australia denouncing her in profane language after news outlets reported on her comments, clung to her convictions.

“I told them, ‘I hope God opens your vision,’” she said of her detractors. “I told them, ‘I love you, and I don’t want to fight back.’”

Ms. Harrington, 52, had helped start North Country Pride and served as one of its leaders. The group had built on the area’s longstanding reputation as a welcoming destination for gay travelers, at a moment when the pandemic had infused Littleton with a diverse influx of newcomers.

Her first instinct was to reach out to Ms. Gendreau. When they met to talk about the mural, she said, Ms. Gendreau urged her to read a book, “The Return of the Gods,” by the doomsday evangelist and best-selling author Jonathan Cahn. It warns of America’s descent into evil, citing gay rights as an example of moral decay destroying the country.

The book helped her see why Ms. Gendreau was upset, Ms. Harrington said. And it left her deeply worried about what might come next.

As in other small towns across the country, the people of Littleton had found a way to coexist despite their differences — at times by avoiding topics likely to divide them. Now, the divide was front and center. And as the anger rose, and the split grew wider, many wondered how it would ever mend.

As word spread about Ms. Gendreau’s comments, it felt to many in the town of 6,000 like a jarring break in protocol.

Kerri Harrington, a Littleton resident who helped start a local gay pride group, decided to run for the select board.

Before she made the comments that plunged Littleton into tumult, Ms. Gendreau had occasionally injected her religious faith into municipal business. When the board hired Jim Gleason as town manager in 2021, he was startled by the words she used to offer him the job.

“God wants you in Littleton,” he recalled her saying. Not long after that, Ms. Gendreau began starting select board meetings with a prayer.

It had not been easy for Mr. Gleason to leave his home in Florida. His wife of 44 years, a teacher nearing retirement, had stayed behind. They were still grieving the loss of their oldest son, Patrick, who died of pancreatitis at age 35 in 2016.

Mr. Gleason had embraced his son when he came out as gay at 16. He had never expected open homophobia from elected leaders in New Hampshire.

Soon after Ms. Gendreau’s remarks about the mural, residents began flooding the local paper with angry letters. A local bank asked her to resign from its board of directors, she said, pointing to the “hurt” she had caused; she complied. Encouraged by North Country Pride to raise their voices, hundreds of people showed up to condemn Ms. Gendreau’s views at select board meetings in September and October.

Many hoped she might apologize, or step down from the select board — or that the other two board members would publicly reject her views. Instead, they said little, and Ms. Gendreau doubled down.

In October, in an interview with The Boston Globe, Ms. Gendreau called homosexuality an “abomination” and warned of “twisted preferences” she saw “creeping into our community.” She also spoke out against a well-known musical about a gay couple, “La Cage Aux Folles,” that was being staged at the Littleton Opera House by a local theater group that had made the town-owned building its home for a decade.

Before the controversy, the group’s leaders had considered renovating the historic Opera House with grant money. Afterward, fearful of being censored, they resolved to build a new theater instead.

Mr. Gleason had embraced his oldest son when he came out as gay at 16. He had never expected open homophobia from elected leaders in New Hampshire.

When a woman walked into Littleton’s town hall in October, echoing Ms. Gendreau’s concerns about the production and asking what would be done to stop it, Mr. Gleason did not mince words.

Nothing, the town manager said he replied — the play was protected by the First Amendment.

“She said, ‘What about my free speech?’” Mr. Gleason recalled. “And I said, ‘The way you protest is, don’t buy a ticket.’”

The woman called him “weak,” he said. Then she brought up Patrick, his son.

“‘I hope you’re happy he’s in hell,’” Mr. Gleason said she told him.

Two years into his new job, his move had seemed to be paying off. He had helped grow the town’s reserve fund and received positive performance reviews. It was the redemption Mr. Gleason had needed after his last job, in Florida, ended badly, with a heated confrontation at a meeting and charges, later dropped, that he had been physically aggressive toward a councilwoman.

Now he wondered how long he could carry on, working closely with a board member who had essentially condemned the son he had loved, in a town where it appeared her public statements had encouraged others to unleash their own intolerance.

Ms. Gendreau’s outspoken, fire-and-brimstone Christianity was something of an aberration in New Hampshire. But she was not alone in her beliefs. As a tide of criticism engulfed her, she also had supporters rise to her defense, calling out the hypocrisy they saw in the champions of inclusion who sought to silence her.

“Sen. Gendreau speaks for those stakeholders who are afraid to speak out, to stop this ‘liberal-progressive-socialist-communist-bully-ism,’” Nick DeMayo, a resident of nearby Sugar Hill and the chairman of the Northern Grafton County Republican Committee, wrote in a letter to the editor.

Roger Emerson, then the chair of Littleton’s select board, heard from some of those stakeholders, he said — people aligned with Ms. Gendreau’s views, who told him that they were cheering her on but feared being attacked if they did so publicly.

“It used to be, when someone said something you didn’t like, you would sit down and talk about it,” Mr. Emerson said, “not run to the newspapers and social media.”

Peggy Fujawa, a retired educator who knew Ms. Gendreau casually as a fellow Christian, spoke up at a board meeting in January.

Ms. Gendreau “has been dragged through fire for her beliefs, and I think that’s wrong,” Ms. Fujawa, 76, told people at the meeting. “If you want mutual respect, you need to show some of that.”

As in other small towns across the country, the people of Littleton had found a way to coexist despite their differences — at times by avoiding topics likely to divide them.

For decades, Littleton has been known as a welcoming city.

She was met with shouting, boos and insults, she said in an interview. “There was no enlightening, no sharing,” Ms. Fujawa added. “It was, ‘This is it, and you better learn to like it.’”

Ms. Gendreau had grown up in a home where she was taught that “God is the authority,” she said in a recent interview.

At her father’s urging, she attended Bob Jones University, a Christian college in South Carolina, where she served as her sorority chaplain [the record does not reveal that]. After returning to Littleton, she worked in insurance sales, owned a clothing store on Main Street, and taught business classes at a local college.

When a town selectman suggested that she run for office, she said, “I was scared to death.” But she had been taught to give back, she said — her father, Gerald Winn, had been the town moderator for 56 years.

She was troubled by the divide in politics, between “red and blue, people who can’t work together.” But she had always made clear that she would serve God first, and then the voters. After her election to the State Senate in 2022 as a Republican, “I told the Senate president, I will listen to my constituents, but if the Lord trumps the majority, I will go with that,” she said.

She accepted that many of her legislative colleagues would not like it when she read from the Bible she carried into debates — and she rejects the claim that it does not belong there. “Our founding fathers said we have the freedom to worship,” she said.

Ms. Gendreau said she knew, when she first criticized the mural, that most people would not understand — that the iris was a dangerous symbol because Iris was the Greek goddess of the rainbow; that children needed protection from demonic forces threatening to lead them astray.

“We only understand God’s word when we have the spirit of God in us,” she said. “They don’t get it, and I understand that.”

Still, she said, it was unfair for Mr. Gleason to link her critique of the mural to hurtful comments hurled at him by others. When she heard about the incident at town hall, Ms. Gendreau said, she reached out to the woman involved and urged her to apologize.

As people stood up at meetings into the fall and winter to tell her how her words had hurt them, Ms. Gendreau listened quietly and wrote each of their names in a notebook. In the quiet of her home, she said, she read them aloud, and prayed that God might show them the truth.

“If people could see into my heart,” she said, “they would see absolute compassion.”

Duane Coute, 55, helped to rally more than 1,000 business people, residents and frequent visitors to the town to sign a letter he wrote with other business leaders in November imploring the board to “step back from this hurtful path.”

To those who had assumed they knew her heart already, a probing look had not seemed necessary.

Richard Alberini, a history teacher in town for 39 years, had known her since she was in middle school and was rattled when he learned of her beliefs.

“I taught Carrie the Constitution in eighth grade,” he said. “I taught her the separation of church and state, and the reason for it in the history of the country.”

Duane Coute, too, had known Ms. Gendreau for years. Like Ms. Harrington, he had asked to meet with her after her comments blew up, hoping to understand. Instead, he said, he felt more bewildered after she described her views to him.

The affable general manager of the local Chevrolet dealership, Mr. Coute, 55, was not inclined toward politics or public disputes. But he had spent his life in Littleton and was among the business leaders who had worked hard to remake the former mill town, once in decline, into a bustling tourist hub.

As fall turned to winter, and still the select board did not clearly reject Ms. Gendreau’s comments, he could not bear to see the town’s reputation undergo such damage, he said, its fabric torn by the animosity on both sides of the dispute.

Some of Mr. Coute’s conservative friends, and some of his employees, cautioned him against leaping into the fray. He jumped in anyway, rallying more than 1,000 business people, residents and frequent visitors to the town to sign a letter he wrote with other business leaders in November imploring the board to “step back from this hurtful path.”

“This is not who we are,” the letter said. “Littleton is a vibrant, broad and inclusive community.”

The rainbow flags that North Country Pride had handed out to businesses downtown were new, but the area’s reputation for tolerance was not. It had been a destination for gay travelers since the 1980s, when the Highlands Inn in neighboring Bethlehem, N.H., began advertising itself as a “lesbian paradise” in gay newspapers around the country.

Jordan Applewhite, a transgender 40-year-old, had moved to the area four years ago and transformed a former oil change shop on the edge of downtown Littleton into a lively, L.G.B.T.Q.-friendly dive bar, forging ties with a diverse community that seemed to easily set aside differences.

“What was at stake was who we are as a town,” Mx. Applewhite said of what had happened. “It was like an existential crisis.”

By January, after weeks of reflection, Ms. Harrington decided to run for Ms. Gendreau’s seat on the select board. Mx. Applewhite signed on as her campaign adviser. Together, they made a plan to emphasize unity and a commitment to represent everyone in the community.

Mr. Gleason, the town manager, reached a decision of his own. Midway through a board meeting that month, he abruptly announced his resignation.

“I’ve had enough,” he said when a resident in attendance pressed him to explain.

Later in the meeting, after the crowd gave him a standing ovation, Mr. Gleason grew tearful. Rising to his feet, he made a final declaration: “My son,” he said, “is not an abomination.”

As the meeting drew to a close, Ms. Gendreau took the microphone. Watching from her seat, Ms. Harrington felt a rush of hope.

But instead of expressing regret, Ms. Gendreau began speaking out against acceptance of transgender people. “If a man can be a woman because he feels like one,” she said, “where does this end? Can a grown man attend kindergarten because he identifies as a 6-year-old?”

People walked out, some of them crying. “Shame on you, Carrie,” someone shouted.

On the February morning he left Littleton to return to Florida, Mr. Gleason carried a last box of mementos from his office to his truck, turned onto the highway and threaded his way south between the snowy mountains.

The deadline for Ms. Gendreau to file for re-election came and went. After prayer and reflection, she said in an interview, she had concluded that God did not want her to remain on the select board.

On Election Day, in mid-March, Ms. Harrington easily won the open seat. The townspeople also voted to expand the select board from three seats to five next year, a change sought to add diversity, and limit individual influence, in the aftermath of the discord.

Ms. Gendreau said she had no regrets: “I would rather speak out and risk persecution than say nothing and see people end up in hell.”

At her first meeting as a member of the board last month, Ms. Harrington and the other two members voted 3-0 to end the practice of beginning meetings with prayer.

Mx. Applewhite knows divisions linger in Littleton, and sees work ahead to bridge the gaps, engaging those who fear that their views will be dismissed.

“‘Religion is bad’ is not the takeaway,” they said. “We mean it when we say we want everyone to feel welcome.”

Jenna Russell is the lead reporter covering New England for The Times. She is based near Boston. More about Jenna Russell

#Bob Jones University #Class of 1984 #Carrie Lee Winn Gendreau #Littleton #New Hampshire #Klandamentalism

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