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wutbju · 2 months ago

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The Wartburg Watch has a story we BJU alumni need to see.

Long-time readers are aware of my undying love for science fiction. As I read tributes paid to Bodie Weiss on the event of his death in 2020, I contemplated the molestation of Tyson when he was a teen. How can a man so beloved be capable of such evil at the same time?

How many of you have read Speaker for the Dead by Orson Card? It’s the second book in the Enders Game Quintet. (Maybe you saw the Enders Game movie?) Ender destroyed an entire civilization when he thought he was playing a game. In the second book, he deals with his guilt. He posited that the remembrances of the dead are often glowing, knowingly skipping over the pain caused by the person in his life. He said that it did not do justice to that person’s life. So, he began to work with people to change how we remember the dead. We are to tell the truth and remember the entirety of each life.

What didn’t they say about Bodie Weiss in the obituaries?

Here is his obituary from the funeral home website. (He died of an internal infection during Covid.)

Bodie was born in Bangor, Maine on October 5, 1961. His family lived in Bar Harbor until moving to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania in 1973. At the age of 14, while walking through the woods near his home, he gave his life to the Father and began his life-long devotion to following Christ’s example. Bodie graduated from Bob Jones University in 1984. It was there that he met his wife, Kathy. He earned three Master Degrees, and a PhD from Cambridge University. After marrying in August of 1984, he and Kathy moved to Austin, Texas where he worked for Coca Cola delivering product to convenience stores throughout the city. While attending a local church, he was asked to take on their small youth group which became a paid position leading him into full time ministry. While pursuing a youth ministry opening on a whim, he sent his resume to Eastminster Presbyterian Church in Wichita, and was hired in the role of Sr. High Youth Director. Because Bodie understood that the Father worked through him, he was able to build a large youth group emphasizing relationship with both the Father and others. He often said “You only have two things to do today, love the Father, and love others.” The youth group became well known throughout the country and articles were written about it in youth leader’s journals. Bodie was a prolific writer and had several books published. He drew inspiration from the writing of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Brennan Manning, LeAnn Payne, Dr. Larry Crabb, and many others. Bodie is survived by his wife, Kathy and several friends to whom he ministered to both in full-time ministry and the social work he did after leaving full-time ministry.

I believe Bodie was a monster but appeared as an angel of light. His obituary gives a hint that things were not as they seemed. He applied on a whim to lead a youth ministry at Eastminster Presbyterian Church, now known as Eastminster. He had first been to a church in Austin. At the height of his success, he left the ministry and went into social work. How many times did the abuse in this story play out in other venues?

Let this post be a speaker for those he harmed.

Tyson looked back at his relationship with Bodie and his friend group at church.

Tyson was a high school youth group member from 1994 to 1998. He said Bodie was a “great teacher.” In some respects, it felt much like it must have felt for Jesus’s disciples. He emphasized the love of God and was kind. He related to both the popular kids and the “least of these.” He seemed “real” to the teens. He worked with the boys, and his wife worked with the girls.

Tyson said Bodie emphasized the following in his teaching:

There should be no guilt or shame in being authentic.

Vulnerability and honesty were key.

Strong male friendships were important.

Love God and love others.

Tyson felt that he and others were looking for a strong male figure.

Bodie reached out specifically to kids with no fathers, either through death or divorce, as well as to kids whose dads were alcoholics or emotionally and physically abusive.

To this group of teens, Bodie seemed to live like Jesus and that they were like his disciples. As some know, abusers often pick out the kids who are emotionally vulnerable and play on that weakness.

Tyson described a “push/pull” duality, which he now describes as grooming.

The boys would seek Bodie’s approval and attention. He would appear uninterested in a boy for a short time. Then, he would turn on the charm and be attentive. Suddenly, he would revert to coolness or disinterest. The teens would seek out and hope once again for his attention.

Tyson said he would make odd comments during this time.

He was critical of Tyson’s attachment to women.

He would sometimes jokingly say, “I’m not gay or anything.”

He wanted them to “share affection.”

He wanted them to say that they loved each other.

He encouraged them to be vulnerable with one another.

He encouraged full, frontal hugs.

He once told another teen, “Oh, I’m not trying to make out or anything.”

Tyson said by this time, they had “zero resistance” toward anything Bodie would say

One-on-one time

By this time, the teens wanted to spend time with Bodie. The youth group grew large, and their love for one another was evident. Other churches wanted to learn how to do similar ministries in their churches.

Eventually, Bodie began to offer one-on-one time with the students. These times could be in the church, his house, or even his cabin during the church summer camps held at Westminster Woods Camp. At that time, a cabin was away from the rest of the camp. Bodie always liked to stay in that cabin alone, and he would invite boys to stay with him alone at night.

It is vital to remember that he had built up these teens to trust him implicitly. They all wanted to be the boy Bodie chose to stay with. Tyson said it bordered on jealousy when another got chosen.

I appreciate Tyson’s description of Bodie’s unique form of grooming.

I also want to thank Diane Wheeler of Westminster Camp for speaking with me. The Wheelers took over the camp after these events. They tore down that cabin, noticing that it did not fit in with the excellent safety practices they currently maintain. She said they would never allow anyone to be alone with an adult. She was also aware of what had happened with Bodie. I respect her concern for the safety of the children.

Tyson’s one-on-one encounter turned into abuse.

Tyson noted that whenever he met with Bodie, he “always seemed to be getting out of the shower.” He would appear shirtless with a towel around him and get dressed in their presence.

Tyson was alone with Bodie when he noticed that the blinds were drawn. The room was dark and painted a maroon/brown color. The back windows faced west. Two couches faced each other. A fan was running. Bodie came out of the shower, and as he dressed, he left his shirt off.

Bodie lay down on one couch whileTysot sat on the other. Bodie said that this was a sort of counseling session. He said that men could care for one another and that it was not a sexual thing. He asked Stuart to lie down on top of him and began kissing him.

Tyson said he bought it 100% when Bodie said this was a lesson in intimacy between friends. Stuart said he left “feeling like an adult.”

Tyson knows of five others who were abused.

He says that others were abused far worse than he was. He also noted that some of those being groomed were not abused, and then those odd push/pull behaviors would stop around them.

Bodie was eventually let go after Tyson went away to college. The church still recommended him to others.

Some parents complained to the church about Bodie’s relationship with their kids. The kids were upset and defended Bodie against these “attacks.” It seems to me that Bodie trained them well. Eventually, the leaders apparently witnessed Bodie using the cabin to be alone with the boys.

There was an “undefined incident, and Bodie was let go from his position at the church. He would go to another church, and it is alleged that Eastminster recommended him!

There is an allegation that there was a lawsuit against the church and that there was inevitably an NDA, and everything went quiet. Folks, there is no place for NDAs in the church. If that happens, someone who was harmed is not allowed to speak. How could a church think this is what Jesus would do in such circumstances? There is an international effort to stop NDAs in churches that claim to follow Jesus.

Tyson has needed regular counseling as he began to understand that Bodie abused him.

He has spent an enormous amount of money learning to deal with the fact that he was groomed and abused at Eastminster. As Tyson grew older, he began to understand that he was manipulated by Bodie to be abused. This is a normal progression. The older Tyson tells the younger Tyson that it is OK to talk about what happened.

What about Eastminster?

Today, I called the church to tell them I was writing about what happened with Bodie. I said that there were other kids abused as well. I had great hopes that a pastor would speak with me and express concern for the lifelong pain and confusion that Tyson and others had experienced. After all, what would Jesus do upon receiving such a call? Would He go quiet and call the lawyers? I don’t think so, but who knows what gives in churches today. I wonder if they care that Stuart no longer attends church because of his experience. I think I understand the phrase “frozen chosen” better.

What should Eastmnster do?

Yes, I know the pastors and church leaders have changed. However, as CS Lewis said in the quote above,” time doesn’t cancel sin.” I believe the church has a moral and spiritual duty to discover and reach out to all they can find who participated in Bodie’s youth group. What does that look like? Maybe they’ve already done so?

An effort should be made to contact as many people as possible who have spent time in that ministry. They should ask the victims to come forward to the church.

Eastminster should be aware that it is likely that there were many more molested who did not come forward. It is inevitable when dealing with a paraphilia.

Eastminster should contact any churches Bodie came from or went to and alert them of the probability of more victims.

The church should offer to help them by paying for counseling for all who were harmed. Tyson has come forward via this post.

They should have a third-party, independent investigation to evaluate the church’s safety protocols. GRACE is one such group.

They should make an announcement in church and offer apologies from the church for what happened.

Eastminster cannot pretend this didn’t happen. The church body has a responsibility to be the church to those abused.

How is Bodie remembered?

He did a good job of teaching about love and friendship, then screwed it up by harming some of those he taught. Yet Stuart, who has harmed, had this to say.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” I think you can take that sentiment and apply it to relationships – the test of a great relationship is the ability to hold the good done and the pain caused in your heart at the same time and still retain the ability to love. For some of us who knew Bodie, this is our truth. Bodie wasn’t a perfect man. He’d have been the first to tell you that. And in his struggles, he, like all of us, hurt those he loved. It would be easy to look at Bodie’s life and come to the conclusion that the good vastly outweighs the bad. The influence that Bodie had on our lives, his teachings in relationships with each other and with Christ – and the residual effect that influence will continue to have as we build our families and teach our kids – it’s immeasurable. But he would also demand honesty in relationships, and even though the good he did will live on into perpetuity, so will the pain. The two can coexist, and must. The path to forgiveness cannot begin in the absence of the transgression. And it is my hope, that even though Bodie is no longer here with us on Earth, those of us that didn’t have the opportunity to reconcile with him, yet desire to forgive the cause of that pain, will find the means and the peace with which to do so.

Tyson does a good job of being a “Speaker for the dead.”

#Bob Jones University #Wartburg Watch #Class of 1984 #ProofIsInTheProduct #BJUisNOTSafe #Bodie H. Weiss

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