#but idk whats causing it so how can i vocalise??

[unknownwhisper]

My anxiety is like in that movie with the spiders where when they kill them, they come back bigger and stronger. Every time I think I've dealt with it, it comes back 10 times worse.

Help??

[ladycaramelswirl]

A Dream Like You

Female reader x Aaron Hotchner

A/N: I did something… hormonal 💀 may delete later

summary: you and Aaron share a bed on a case. oh, also you’re both in love with each other and totally oblivious. And sexually frustrated 🫠

cw: Idk how ratings work but I’m pretty sure this is explicit. (sm*t?) No mention of Y/N! Also quite a bit of swearing, which is unusual for me.

A/N (main): this is my first time writing anything remotely sexual. It’s short! I was writing something completely different but it ended up as… idk what this is. Also I’m sorry for any typos. Enjoy 💀

————————————

You wake up to the most perfect warmth enveloping you. And the delightful smell of soap and a citrus scented laundry detergent. You sleepily bury your nose into the smell. Except the source of the smell is Aaron, who immediately startles awake at your movement, only to go completely still when he realises you’re the reason for the wonderful warmth pressed against him. He tries to move away but you pull him closer, pushing your breasts against his chest and your leg between his thighs, dangerously close to his now extremely hard cock.

You move against him in your sleep, rocking against his sensitive underside, causing him to moan. This was bad. So bad. He really needed you to wake up. 

“Hey”, he whispers.

“Mmm”, you mumble into your bedmates neck. ���It’s so nice here. Don’t want to get up”. 

God you were killing him. He tries to move away, not wanting to disturb your much needed sleep, but you just hold onto him tighter. Were arms supposed to feel this good?

“Please wake up”, he pleads. You needed sleep, but if you kept rubbing against him, he was going come, and then things would be very very uncomfortable. He tries to shake you awake but you rock your hips against him again. 

“Fuck”, he hisses, pleasure rushing through him. Your sleepy mind finds immense satisfaction at his voice and starts moving against him harder. 

“Oh God”, he chokes. 

“You feel so good baby”, you whisper in his ear. You throb with desire. “I need you”, you whine, the friction from your movement sending you into a state of bliss. God you’ve never had a sex dream this good.

Aaron feels his heart race with your movement but it’s your words that cause him to get harder. How was he supposed to forget how you called him baby? He tries to shake you off. 

“You need to wake up. I-“, his words are cut off by an uncontrollable gasp of pleasure that escapes him. 

You feel desperate for the feeling of him inside you. “Fuck me. Please fuck me”, you beg. It takes all of Aaron’s willpower to push you off of him and he jams a pillow between you. He immediately gets on his feet, needing to get away from you. You let out a disappointed whimper and that’s all he can take before he rushes into the bathroom. He turns the water on in the shower before stepping under it, trying to get the cold water to cool him off. But nothing is helping. He wraps his fingers around his hard shaft, slowly moving it up and down. He grits his teeth together, the memory of your words making it almost impossible to not vocalise his pleasure, but you were still asleep and if you woke up, he’d have to explain why he was so flushed. So he tries his best to be quiet. Your voice plays in his head - “you feel so good baby”. He strokes himself faster. “I need you”. His knees buckle in pleasure. “Fuck me. Please”. His mind goes blank as he experiences an euphoric climax and his legs shake as his gratification covers the bathroom tile. Fuck. He’s never got himself off that fast. Shit. He just fucked himself thinking about you. He immediately feels a surge of guilt. He is your boss. He is not supposed to feel this way about you. And you had thought you were sleeping. He has no excuse for his behaviour. He towels himself off and checks his watch for the time. 4am. It’s too early to get up but he cannot get back into bed with you there so he gets dressed. He leaves a note explaining that he’s gone to the precinct to work on the case and that you should join later with everyone else, then quietly slips out of the room.

The sound of the door closing stirs you from your sleep. You reach for your nightstand to check your watch, but find nothing. The panic of being in a strange room makes you sit up and you remember that you’re in a hotel room on a case. You reach to the right for your watch again only to realise you’re not on the side of the bed you slept on. And that you’re alone but you hadn’t been when going to bed. You notice the note on his nightstand. Of course he was already up at 4am. Unless you had kicked him out of bed by rolling onto his side? Oh God, you hope not. And why did you feel so… sensitive? You notice the pillow between your thighs. You recall your dream, and his sounds of pleasure, groaning in frustration and burying your face in the pillow. Only you’re overwhelmed by the smell of Hotch. It’s enough to have you throbbing again. You’d just had a sex dream of your boss. While in bed within him. Why couldn’t you be attracted to anyone else? It was so embarrassing. And completely inappropriate. You had to pull yourself together. But you felt a desperate ache between your thighs. And the smell of him was overwhelmingly good. Before you can really think about what’s happening you bring one hand to your breast, palming yourself through your shirt and slip your other hand into your sleep shorts, rubbing your sensitive nub. Were dreams supposed to be that vivid? The memory of his body against yours has you imagining your fingers are his. You slip one finger inside, then two. His would be so much thicker, so filling. You throb against your digits at the thought. You can almost hear his moans. You fuck yourself harder. God it feels so good. 

“Yes Aaron”, you pant, and you’re not sure if you’re thankful that he’s not here. You pinch your nipples as you swipe at your sensitive bundle of nerves and suddenly remember the sound of him whimpering. It’s enough to make you see white. Your orgasm rips through you and you’re soaked in sweat by the time you come down from your high. You stare at the ceiling, contemplating when you’ve ever had an orgasm that good. Never.

You were so fucked.

———

A/N P.S. : I hope you liked it! should I post the writing that inspired this? It’s pretty much the opposite of this - far away from smut land and very much the capital of pining city. It’s much more my usual style. Anyway let me know what you think :)

Masterlist

[lostwriter--xx3]

3rd January, 2024...harsh

@prongsfoot-microfic

...

No dreary is as dreary as dreary weather. No weather is as dreary as an overcast sky.

Chill, chill, chill. Sirius Black felt the chill deep in his bones. The blackened kettle boiled, a thin hiss of steam rounding the empty kitchen. The ragged man heaved the kettle and poured himself a generous serve of tea — no sugar. Cheap habits suit a dodged man.

A bit of the sky overlooked the long windows , shadowing the tattered carpets. The solitary companion of the battered room leant back on one of the moth-eaten couches by one of the broken windows.

The cup warmed his knuckled hands, steaming the January air. It was cold, too cold.

Perihelion, Sirius remembered. It is Perihelion. He couldn't recall if it had anything to do with the cold, but he remembered the word. Perihelion. How painstakingly he had studied the skies. All the dreams of astronomy.

All the dreams. Suddenly, Sirius felt acutely aware of the cup he held in his hands. He had picked up the chipped, discoloured cup with no distinction...but he saw a resemblance now.

He turned the cup around. Where his palm had rested, there was a small indent. There were small letters etched amidst the patches of blue dotted with white.

To Sirius Obnoxious Black, my best friend

Astronomy craft fair, 3rd January, 7th Year. He swallowed, looking away. Was the sky darker or was it the spotty window pane? There, the sun was dipping. It would be night soon. Another night. Another dreamless sleep.

Routine, routine—one he never dreamt of.

He sighed. I love you so damn much. He raised the cup to his lips, and stopped. I hate that so damn much.

He felt ugly, and he was. Would James like him as he was now? See me now, golden boy. Would you still be here? Would you help? Of course not, I never helped you either. If I ever had, it all went down the drain on—

He drained the steaming cup. When he put it down, his nose had fogged up. If he had known, would Harry be introducing him as his Godfather now? Or as his uncle? He rubbed his knuckles across his dampened nose, lowered the cup to his knee.

Snow fell akin to chilled glitter by his side, against the window. Maybe, he couldn't tell. But it had been a snowy, dreary sky all day.

He looked down into the watery dregs of the tea, eyes unfocused and subtly teary.

"You're too harsh on me", he said, his voice like the echo of an empty cup.

....

Thoughts??? Pls??? Encouragement???

Also ik no one is going to critically analyse this so I'm just gonna analyse it for you cause boy I put way too much thought into this.

It's by the Harsh prompt. And the harsh here is subtle. Atleast I tried to make it subtle lol idk if it was. Harsh is what is echoed throught this wall of text. Harsh weather, harsh cold, harsh house, harsh thoughts. It's supposed to be the undertone.

Anyways, the ending is ambiguous and up for interpretation. He is looking into the dregs of the tea, so one can assume that he is staring at his reflection in the cup and he is referring to himself and acknowledging his harmful thought processes. His eyes are unfocused so you can also reason that he is staring at the cup and referring to James, feel free to interpret why he thinks he was harsh. Or he might just be accusing the world in general and vocalising his situation and emotion

Well lol that's it pls tell me what you think of this and what your interpretation is (sorry for the literary ramble)

[maranull]

OMG!!!!A FELLOW MARIKA LOVER!!!!!

I needed someone to ramble about Marika for so long. Bruh she's like one of the best female characters I've seen in a while

But when I first got into the fandom, it's like people are VERY bad towards Marika and what they said about her is how she's *insert a crazy amount of slurs offensive towards a woman*

She's very prominent to the story and they thought she was responsible for everything, stay with me on this. I understand she's responsible MAJORLY, but not ENTIRELY

They have a whole cast of characters and they decided to hate on one woman for idk all the bad things? It's like blaming the rock because someone throws it at you

Hello, hello!

She is! I didn't like her that much at first, but then I looked a bit more into her lore and later actions and she got me. Very complex and honestly just a really fun character to think about! And write! Oh, I love writing her.

I think I missed the blatant hate, but it doesn't surprise me. Those folks are just an insta block for me anyway, so even if I saw them, I have forgotten them :P. I did got the one dimensional takes on her though, but those are generally chill or used to make jokes.

She is basically fully responsible for like 70-80% of the story before the Shattering, but yeah, after (and sometime before) it you have so many other forces making plays while she's straight up crucified.

But I do get the hate, tbh? What I don't get is why folks needed/need to vocalise it. Basic fandom etiquette, we don't tag hate on character's tags. Back on the hate, she did conquered half a continent and put in power an bigoted theocracy, she did enslave a whole species (trolls) and she did commit genocide fucking twice (fire giants & ancient dragons). Like, I get why folks might hate her, especially with the whole genocide thing. She's undeniable a villain in this story.

I just think she's more than that. Cause she did all that, right? She destroyed so much and build as much. But when Godwyn and Ranni "die", she goes and tears it all down. Like, can you imagine? Literal eons upon eons of killing, burning and then building and creating over the ashes and corpses. And she throws literally everything away in grief. This is the main thing that I love about her. She is this cruel and ruthless Goddess, but she gradually loves her kids. I honestly think that the beginning of her plotting against the Greater Will was when she was forced to toss her Omen kids in the sewers. Is she hard on them? Yeah. They are demigods and they have so much shit to deal with just by being that. But she loves them in her own way.

Am I mixing headcanon with canon? Probably, yeah. But I don't care. I don't generally like villains, Imma keep the one I do close and if I have to ignore canon to do so, I will.

Also I'm sorry, I'm very tired (it's long past this "old" hag's bedtime :P). I hope this is understandable in some way. But yay! Marika love! <3

[thepositiveturtleblog]

hey silly little blog! 

been a while huh? 

I want to talk about how I’m doing. After all, I think it’s important I talk to the void about myself seeing as I don’t have therapy this week cause I’m moving out of my flat currently! It’s so weird to be in a place where I’m happy about the fact I have progressed so much in the time I’ve spent in this room and changed into a sophisticated person. This means that I can finally understand my emotions and idk just finally understand that it’s okay to do what YOU want and it’s okay not to please everyone around you to make them comfortable. 

It’s okay to quit a job if the people you work with make you uncomfortable. It’s okay not to stay somewhere because it’s comfortable (financially) I know that I will find somewhere that will respect me for who I am and not use me for my looks or tries to be little me because they don’t think I’m intelligent because I chose to get a job as a waitress. I want to be respected and not sexualised in a workplace and as stupid as it sounds this has never really happened before in all the experiences I’ve had before this and the first time I work for a man he seems alright to start out with and then slowly turns into a misogynistic prick who asks you to wear shit to work that's just inappropriate or professional at all. I’m glad I got out of the situation but I shouldn’t have had to leave somewhere I enjoyed working because of the management.  I am looking forward to the new house and although it seems a while away currently I know spending time with my dad for the first time in years and sort of moving in will be a good experience because he will let me continue to live how I have been for nearly a year now without trying to shove me in a box. He understands that growing up means allowing space for me to have a life outside of family life. I might try to get a job whilst I’m up there just so I can try and make new friends and earn a bit of money over the summer.  My dad will be coming down on Friday and I get to show him the city and just let him see how well I’m doing and how much this year has allowed me to grow! He will also be helping me finish moving out which really helps to heal parts of our relationship because it shows that he really cares and wants to be there for me and it shows that he likes to put effort into the relationship to make sure that I don’t struggle alone. I don’t think I could ever vocalise this to him but it honestly means so much to me. I am so thankful to have him in my life and to have somewhere safe that I can call home. I just wish I had this when I was younger but I know now that it wasn’t he didn’t mean for any of the pain/ trauma I’ve been through. he really loves me. 

[starwberycow]

I have been reading No longer human recently and I’m only up to notebook one but I’ve had so many breakdowns cause of this fucking book

“ I wonder if I have ever been happy” - I read this and cried can’t even explain why I just did. Like I started to over think, am I really happy and if not why am I not happy what can I change will dying solve it should I relapse or starve myself. Just what does it truely mean to be happy cause I don’t think I know and I don’t know if I ever will and I don’t know if I want to wait for I don’t know long just to potentially disappointed.

“It is almost impossible for me to converse with either people. What should I talk about, how should I say it? - I don’t know” - this quote hit me like a fucking bus. I struggle to talk to people and I always stress I’ve fucked it. This line said it perfectly and I hate that. It captured what I have been trying to vocalise to people for years it’s not even a long sentence but it’s still a impactful one in the worst fucking way

“I was always accepted the attack in silence, though inwardly so terrified as almost to be out of my mind” - my family fights a shit tonne and it always ends up being my fault in some way or another and I never react I just stand their like a deer in headlights. No matter how badly I want to say something to my hypocritical father or my brother who just needs a scape goat. I just stand there in silence with no emotion taking it because I’ve learnt from experience there is no point in arguing back I’ll always lose because I am a …

“What a failure. I had angered my father and I could be sure that his revenge would be a fearful one” - This is like self explanatory

“Mine has been a life of such shame” - it’s a bit edgy but every time I manage to not reach my super high expectations I feel like a failure and that I am a burden to all those around me. I don’t want to shame my family by being the social reject who is physically and mentally ill and on top of that I’m not even good at school or sports. All I do is embarrass them and I feel bad when ever I go out with family or friends. I feel bad that they have to be seen with me

“People have told me, really more times than I can remember, ever since I was a small boy, how lucky I was but I have always felt as if I were suffering in hell.” - I remember when I was like 9 or something like that. In a hospital room on verge of dying and this old ass lady saying I was lucky and I don’t know what for but I was luckier than she was. As I was dying from something I was unable to control as a kid my parents housed have been helping me but they were to busy being separated and fighting I’ve grow to look after me to actually look after me. And I feel ungrateful cause I’m alive now and I’m lucky now but I feel like I’m dying 24/7 so idk if that makes me lucky

But the first paragraph on pg 28 that talks about human true nature being that of an animal and a wild animal at that. It is described as a nature that people seem to be hiding. It’s a good analogy but also I started overthinking like I always do and how it’s nearly 12am and I’m crying my eyes out. It’s such a good analogy to compare wild animals to humans because when you think about it we are animals in a way but we consider ourselves above animals. Either due to religious viewpoint or your an egoist either way we see ourselves as better than animals. We say we are more advanced because we can think and communicate but so can animals and we have no way to prove that what we do is anymore advanced then what they do. I LOVE ANIMALS AND COMPARING HUMANS TO ANIMALS it’s such an interesting philosophical topic that I won’t shut up about. Ngl it gets me going 😍

[wingsofhcpe]

SNOWPIERCER S3 EP5 THOUGHTS: TICK TICK ....BOOM

*inhuman screeching*

The entire episode really sold it to me that Zarah was going to kick the bucket and I'm a little disappointed it didn't happen. I have not gotten over my dislike for her but at this point, dislike or no dislike, I just felt it would be the best narrative option. Even if it was a character I liked I would have hoped it would happen because it was just set up very well and idk. It just felt wrong that she and the baby both survived.

Till and LJ rivalry is what I live for, and Os just awkwardly standing there while his sister and his wife duke it out.

PIKE YOU FUCKING IDIOT. I. UGH. IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

I can't believe this show gave us PikeRuth, sold it to us so well, and then did... whatever the hell this was.

Also idk if that's just bad writing or if I'm missing something, but their first interactions were actually so nice and genuine and now both seem as that didn't mean anything and I'm like??? Bruh???

Ben and Josie....ugh. I love them both I just don't think they have chemistry as a ship...

Also, fine, maybe I just want Melanie back.

Sykes teaming up with Javi and supporting him through shared trauma is actually a pretty neat detail, their interactions were short but I really appreciated the vibe.

Ben 🤝 Audrey: stage 100 of depression.

Audrey looked sexy today and frankly the show is starting to get me sold on her and Till as a thing.

I feel bad for Wilford, which is a sentence I didn't think I'd ever say. Plus we gotta love Alex's snark, she and Dr. Pelton CARRIED this episode idgaf.

Speaking of, Dr. Pelton is a gem and I hope we get to see more of her.

Also not to be that person but her and madame Headwood.... Sapphic vibes is all I'm saying.

Btw mrs. Headwood my poor little meow meow tying the laces on her dead husband's shoes in the end... I love how they barely had any screentime, one of them is gone, but you can just see how much in love they were and how much they cherished each other.

Tristan in the intercomm scene: who are you and what have you done to Ruth.

Btw I know the ship sunk before it even sailed (at least seems so by what we've gotten today) but pls consider Pike and Ruth adopting Winnie. Pls. The crumbs we got in this episode... Please tell me Pike won't get himself killed and he'll actually see he's being a bit unreasonable about this.

I mean yeah sure he's got a point (and as a fellow Ruth simp I just gotta say he's got The Point that Ruth should lead the train) but like...maybe setting fire everywhere isn't the best way to go about it??? Just saying???

Jumping from one point to the next here but Ben missing Melanie and vocalising his emotions on her death broke me.

Also wait I've a question, did Ruth lie to Layton when she said that "Ben mentioned a fire"? Or was the dude that Layton met undertrain another Ben? It's a common name so I wouldn't be surprised if it was just...another Ben, but my mum thinks Ruth just lied to Layton. Which is honestly what I hope is the case, because if we had to see all of Ruth's awesome character arc JUST for her to return to hospitality and stay there, even as a better person, staying in the same position she was in s1e1, I'm going to be angry™.

Anyway all I'm saying is I want Ruth to rebel against Layton just... without setting the train on fucking fire (Pike, cmon, really? That's not how you persuade your gf to join your cause). Like if anyone can make this work without blowing everything to pieces (PIKE) it's her.

Whoop-tee-do until next week I guess!

EDIT: HOW COULD I FORGET UNCLE TILL!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL GNC BUTCH GF!!!! I'M IN LOVE!!!!

[buckmepapi]

I start my EMDR therapy next Wednesday 😬

The first session is just an introduction in what it actually is even though I’ve been told to do my own research (which I have been doing), but I hope it gives me a chance to talk about some things and also explain that there are large gaps in my childhood where it’s completely blank but I know something bad was happening bc the 4 or so memories that I can distinctly recall and the one moment which caused me to run away, and the otherwise minute fractured moments have all included physical abuse and or memories of me just being terrified to death and screaming but not being able to tell why

(Just tw below, I got a bit carried away and steered off topic when writing this vent post and the below under the cut mentions traumatic memories and physical abuse/ use of a weapon)

Like what I don’t want is to sit there and be given exercises about the thoughts or about the dissociative episodes bc one I think about it all the time everyday , and two, I wanna talk about the issues first bc I have a lot of resentment to my family and a lot of anger issues about how it’s damaged me entirely, like I didn’t have a normal simple calm childhood i had a childhood where every single day I woke up throwing up from anxiety and walking on eggshells as to not get hit like do you know what your own father coming at you with a knife just because you turned on the wifi router to talk to your friends does to your psyche? My personality is shaped by my childhood developmental years, I’ll never know what I’m suppose to be like, all I know is this + feeling like nothing is real all the time or dissociating, if I had to pick I’d rather have had a normal development and shaped my own personality and then had a traumatic event after I know that sounds fucked up but it just makes me sad that I didn’t get a chance to be someone else, and it upsets me even more that I’m aware of it and can’t change it. So I really hope some of this is stuff that I can talk about and have her discuss with me and to help me come to terms with it instead of just doing a type of hypnosis.

I also want more understanding of my struggles with dissociating and dpdr, because I don’t see it myself since I’m the one doing it, I want resources and techniques and shit

Also I’ve unintentionally triggered myself now when I thought I was fine. I feel like throwing up and my hearts beating so fast and I feel numb — which is exactly the kind of stuff I need help with bc I couldn’t even tell something was wrong I thought I was fine mentioning that

The thing that annoys me the most is that if I was told hey this is what this is when it first started showing when I was 11/12 and then when it got worse at 13/14 + maybe I also wouldn’t have trauma over the actual feeling of dissociating because no one explained it to me as a kid so I actually got traumatised from the act itself as well as the trauma I already had and spent so long having panic attacks and obsessing over it which then caused more and put me in a continuous cycle for a long time and even though I deal with it a bit better I’m still terrified of it so if someone had just got me help as a kid the fact of being so terrified of it wouldn’t have shaped my personality either

I also think because I have autism and adhd (reccently diagnosed last year) that wasn’t diagnosed as a child it caused things to be a bit more traumatic for me because the autism didn’t allow me to fully understand or vocalise my issues properly so it made everything feel 10 times more powerful and scary whilst also dealing with the entire world feeling like it was too loud all at the same time

Idk I’ve put myself into a weird state now from talking about shit I shouldn’t have so I don’t sound sane rn ,, I’m keeping this and screenshotting this and other shit I’ve mentioned on here so I can remember to write it in a journal of things to talk about and I’m just gonna have to explain to her that I’m sorry I have to dump all this info rn because it’s been In my head for 12 years and I’m having a panic attack on if you can help me or not

[lesbian-deadpool]

The Assistant

Part One Of Two: To Kill Tony Stark

Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Platonic!Tony x Reader

Words: 2,699

Warnings: Uhhh... Cannon violence? Drinking, mentions of death, dying, and killing. Swearing. Idk. I think that’s it.

Request: For the @ryostephi who donated to the Australian Bushfires. (I’m sorry the tag doesn't work)

Summary: You’re infatuated with a red-headed newcomer. And you’re gonna kill Tony.

A/N: I’m not gonna lie. I had absolutely no idea what to do for this, so I hope this is okay. And I haven't watched IM2 in a while, so forgive me if I get anything wrong. Not proofread. I know there’s not a tone of Nat stuff in this. But there will be more in the next chapter.

(Not my GIF)

***

2011

Tony Stark’s Malliabo house.

10:36 A.M.

You were awoken from your peaceful slumber by your covers being removed from your body, robotically slow. Groaning, you grabbed the edge of your cover, that now sat at your waist. Tugging them back up your body. Fully intending to go back to sleep. That is before they were once again removed from your body, robotically slow.

Groaning louder this time, you finally peaked one of your eyes open for the first time this morning. The metal statue of Dum-E blurred, from your sleepy vision.

“What do you want, Dum-E?” you asked groggily.

“Miss Y/L/N. Mr Stark requests your assistance in his workshop,” Jarvis spoke for the robot.

“What time is it?” you yawned, cuddling into your pillow more.

“It is ten-forty, Miss,” Jarvis’ robotic voice rung throughout the room.

You groaned, “Tell Tony that if I come down there, I’m shoving a bench up his ass.”

The AI was silent for a few moments.

“He said he’s ‘looking forward to it’, Miss.”

Grumbling, you moved to sit on the edge of the bed, about to get up, when Dum-E handed you your pants.

“Oh, thank you Dum-E,” you said surprised. Before continuing with what you were previously going to say, “And what have I told you about calling me ‘Miss’?”

“Then what would you prefer I call you? Your Majesty?” Jarvis suggested.

“Jarvis,” you chided.

“Okay. Very well, Y/N. Shall I tell Mr Stark you’re on your way?”

“Yes. Thank you, Jarvis.”

“It’s a pleasure, as always, Y/N.”

***

“Right Tony, hand me a bench, and pull your pants down,” you said loudly, clapping your hands as you entered his workshop. Stopping dead in your tracks once you saw Pepper- However, it was normal for you to say this stuff in front of her, considering she had to deal with Tony. And you. Both of your antics. A lot of the times she had to deal with Tony, you and your antics together- Happy by her side- Who was also used to this shit-

The thing truly catching you off of your guard, being the gorgeous red-head woman. Standing on Pepper’s other side, holding a clipboard, with a small collection of files upon it, sat in her arm and pressed against her chest. Her dark auburn eyebrows scrunched up as she surveyed you, looking you up and down.

“-Oh, hello pretty stranger!” you greeted her, voice going an octave or two higher, that it’s usual tone.

Realising what you just said, your eyes widened, and you were quick to correct yourself. However unbelievable it may be.

“I didn't call you pretty. That never happened.”

“I’m afraid you did, Y/N,” Jarvis notified you.

“Thanks, Jarvis!”

Finally getting a hold of his stifled laughter, Tony gestured to introduce you.

“Y/N. This is Natalie Rushman, she’s Pepper’s new assistant. Natalie. This is Y/N Y/L/N, one of my best friends.”

Natalie hummed. Raising her head up at you with a small smirk. “Nice to meet you.”

“Uh. Yep.” You nodded. “I don’t want to say anything else, because I don’t want to embarrass myself more.” You smiled.

“How ever will you live this down?” Tony asked sassily.

“Give me five minutes, and I’ll be back to normal.”

“You know what? I don’t doubt that,” Pepper said.

“Hey, Y/N, guess what!” Tony clapped his hands excitedly, moving up and down on the spot.

“What?”

“Natalie kicked Happy’s ass.” Tony pointed to the girl, then gestured to blushing Happy.

“Really?” you asked Natalie, slightly surprised. Her reply being a single nod.

“No, she didn’t,” Happy blatantly lied.

“Uh, yes, she did,” Pepper assured.

“Well, no offence, Natalie,” you started, “But, anybody can kick Happy’s ass.”

She smiled at your little joke, as the Head of Security protested to your words.

At that moment, Natalie turned to Pepper.

“I should be getting back to work now, Miss Potts.”

“Yes, thank you, Natalie.”

With a nod she was off, stopping only once, by your side, turning her face towards you.

“It was really nice to meet you,” she spoke almost sultry.

“Yeah...” you breathed, “You, too.”

Watching as she walked away, the other three amused by your infatuation with the red-head, you had only just met.

Turning back to the others, surprised to see their smug faces. Like they knew something you didn’t. Or something that you would deny.

“What?”

“You love her,” Tony teased, in an almost sing-song voice.

Quickly you grabbed the nearest object upon the bench you were next to, which just so happened to be a bench. Pointing it at the man, you said, “Bend over.”

***

Apparently, the only reason Tony had requested your presence down in his workshop, was so that you could meet the new Assistant. Or as Tony liked to call her now, ‘your future Wife’. But still. He had managed to “convince” you into helping him.

You would be happy to help him, no matter what.

But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t act begrudgingly towards it. And Tony knew that.

That wasn’t the only reason.

Tony needed to tell you something. You were like his family, and he was scared.

“Y/N...” Tony started, his playful demeanour dimming, and you knew it was serious. Whatever it was he wanted to tell you, “I need to yell you something.”

“Okay...” you gently pressed, not wanting to make him close up and never tell you.

“Something. Something’s going wrong... I, umm... the reactor, it’s- I...” He sighed. Not knowing how to get the words out.

“Hey. It’s okay.” Reaching over you grabbed his forearm, squeezing it in a comforting manner. “Take your time. I’m right here.”

“Don’t tell Pepper- Or anyone really. But especially Pep. Okay?”

“I swear.”

“Well... basically... I’m dying.”

“You're what?!” you yelled, jumping to your feet.

Tony followed you, shushing you as he did.

“You’ve got to keep quiet. You swore,” he reminded you.

“But you’re dying,” you whispered softly, shocked to your core, “What-? How?”

“The shrapnel. It’s poisoning me.”

“Shit!” you swore under your breath, a hand coming up to rub at your forehead. Turning back to him you asked, “Can you fix it.”

He said nothing else, only shaking his head solemnly. Which caused your shoulder to drop.

“How long have you got?”

“Not long.”

No more words were spoken for a while after that. You were both too busy holding each other, the hug was tight with fear, afraid if you let go of him he would disappear into the air.

***

“Hey, Rhodey!” you called over to the man, clad in his airforce uniform. You had just gotten done helping Tony out with his inventions... amongst other things.

You felt a little better after Tony had explained everything, but you were still broken-hearted at the news but kept it locked and tight against your chest. Not wanting to cause the Tin Man any more pain. You knew he did felt better too. Finally getting all of that off his chest. To one person at least.

“Hey, Y/N. You seen Tones?”

“Yeah, he should be down in the workshop,” you told him, “Why? He in some trouble?”

“Isn’t he always?”

You shrugged. “Yeah, you’re right about that.”

Rhodey walked down to the workshop, he was here on business, you could tell that much. If the way he walked with a purpose told you anything.

“Can I give you a hand?” you asked, jogging up to Natalie, who had just walked through the door. She busy carrying thick binders, full of imported documents.

Before she could object. You had grabbed most of the binders out of her arms.

Natalie let out a slightly scoffed breath, as you both continued to walk, side by side, towards Natalie’s destination.

“You know I could have done it myself.”

“I know.” You nodded. She hadn’t seemed to be struggling. “But it doesn’t stop me from being chivalrous. Now, does it?”

She laughed. “Yeah. You’ve God chivalry pouring out of your ears, haven't you?”

“Yes, I do. Thank you for noticing.”

As soon as you had dropped the files off at the coffee table, where Natalie and Pepper would be busy working away. Tony walked past you -Rhodey ranting quietly beside him, so only Tony could hear-, lowly humming ‘The Wedding March’ so only you would hear.

You were, so, going to kill him yourself.

***

Tony was smirking over his glass at you, eyes shining with mischief, and that's when you knew something bad was coming.

“So. Natalie?”

She hummed, turning her attention away from the food she was cutting, and to the man, topping his glass up.

“You got a boyfriend? Girlfriend?”

You spread your arms in a ‘what-the-fuck?!’ manner, behind the red-head, Tony being the only one able to you. Face looking that of pure embarrassed shock, your willingness to murder him shining through.

“No.” She shook her head. “Nothing like that.”

“Well, if that’s the case. Maybe you’d like to go out with Y/N, sometime?”

Natalie looked over her shoulder at you.

You, however, were busy gazing up at the ceiling, like it had the most interesting story, the world has ever seen, written upon it. With your hands now on your his. But you still managed to see her lips upturn in a smirk, before her gaze returned to Tony.

“If you don’t mind, Mr Stark,” Natalie started, “I much prefer the people I date to ask me out themselves.” And with that, she took her leave.

“We’ll now you know what to need to do.”

“Kill you?” you asked, voice slightly manic with anger at the man.

“Ask her out.”

You never got the chance to vocalise your reply, because Tony took the same route Natalie did, heading back to his workshop. Leaving you in the kitchen alone with your thoughts. And desire to beat the infamous Iron Man to a pulp.

***

���I hate that guy,” you mumble, disdain on your tongue. Natalie being the only one who heard you, as she was right by your side, walking to where you were meant to watch the race.

“Hammer?” she asked curiously.

“Yep. He’s so full of himself- And not in the way Tony pretends to be.”

“Wow, you really do hate him,” she says, and you're thankful that she brushed past what you said about Tony. But hey, she works for the guy. She can probably tell that a lot of what Tony does is put on as a front so that he won't get hurt.

Sighing at her words, you nod.

“Come on.” Natalie places a hand on your arm. “The race is about to start.”

“Natalie,” Pepper calls over to he worriedly, making the red-head rush over to her, “Did you know about this?”

You turned to the TV as Natalie spoke to Pepper, seeing the missing billionaire fitted out in a race suit, and jumping into the Stark owned racecar.

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” you yelled. Running out of the room.

You were gonna kill him. You were so gonna kill him.

Or he was.

Wait.

Who the fuck is that?!

A large man, with what seemed to be a very light version of the Iron Man suit strapped upon his body. Long chains, acting like whips, yellow with electricity. Cutting up cars like they were nothing but paper.

Tony zoomed past, just as you managed to slip through the chainlink fence separating the crowd and the track. Vaulting over the metal barrier, ignoring the people calling for you to ‘stop’, and that it was ‘dangerous’. When the chain-whip-man, cut Tony’s car in half.

“Holy fuck!” You yelled.

A Rolls Royce screeched up beside you, snapping your attention from Tony rolling away from the destroyed car, to see the driver.

“Get in!” Happy ordered. And so you did. Slipping in beside Pepper. And then you were off again, to help Tony.

Soon enough, Happy had run into the man, successfully trapping him between the expensive car and the protective wall of the track. Narrowly missing Tony, who jumped up onto the chain-link fence to get away.

“Were you aiming for him, or me-?” Tony asked Happy.

“I was trying to scare him.”

“-’Cause I can’t tell.”

All the while you were trying to process everything.

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!” Pepper screeched at Tony.

“You’re Head Of Security-!”

“GET IN THE CAR!” she cut him off.

And before he could voice his reply, you joined in, “Get in the fucking car, Tony!”

“-I was attacked!”

Repeating this earlier sentence to you, Happy also told Tony to get into the car. But by this point, you were so done, that you just blanked the rest of what they said. Raising a hand to your forehead, and shaking it.

That is until you heard Tony mutter, “First vacation in two years.” Then the door, he had just opened, was sliced in half, by the appearance, still alive man, trying to kill Tony.

At this point, you wished you had put on a seat belt, as Happy started ramming into the man, as Tony asked for his “suitcase”. But was unable to get it, because of Happy’s driving.

You were so done with this shit.

You had begun to reach over, to take the suitcase from Pepper try and hand into Tony easier. When the car was chopped in half, like a knife through hot butter.

“AAA! Fuck!” you yelled, whipping your arm back.

Tony was still asking for his case, as the unknown man continued to chew up the car.

Oh.

Oh, of course.

Why did you expect any less?

The fight was scary. That’s for sure. But you were just glad it was over quickly.

“God...” you uttered, “I need to sleep.”

***

“But the after-party starts now!”

““Holy shit,” you mumble, rubbing your eyes because of the man's behaviour.

“He's hammered,” Natalie spoke, sliding up next to you, “How did he get this bad? He was relatively fine fifteen minutes ago.”

You sighed.

“Yep. That’s Tony for ya.”

After that... let’s just say you lost track of things. You knew you shouldn't have, but you took a walk outside around the pool, getting some much needed fresh air, before you went back in, and tried to talk some sense into the drunk raging genius.

You understood why he was doing this. You really did. That doesn't mean you liked it, though.

When you entered not even ten minutes later, you were welcomed with destruction. People running out the door, Tony, Pepper, Natalie, and Happy nowhere to be seen. And loud crashes coming from the floors above you.

That's when you spotted Natalie and Pepper. Arguing.

What the fuck happened?

They didn’t like each other. You knew that much. But this was new for them.

Rushing over, you hoped to resolve whatever was going on between the two.

“Hey-” You hadn't even got two words out, when suddenly...

You jumped back, as Rhodey -Rhodey? When did he get here?- and Tony tore through the ceiling, landing upon the coffee table, fighting like stupid children. Noticing Natalie taking up a fighting stance in front of you, as Pepper screams.

“Boys!” you yelled. Failing to gain their attention, as they instead of hearing you, and stopping their fighting, decided to crash through walls, knocking the hell out of each other and their metal suits.

This was all too much for you.

So, you did what you did best.

As Pepper ran off towards the fighting “adult men”, and Natalie... going wherever she did.

You left.

You walked out the door and got into your car.

They could handle this themselves. You still had that much faith in them.

But right now. You had something else you needed to do.

***

The bell above the diner’s door rang, alerting the three conversing people to the newcomer.

Surprising to only two of them.

Tony and Natasha’s mouths dropped agape, at what they saw.

You.

Walking straight towards them. SHIELD uniform clasped around your body, the sleeves rolled up, showing your forearms.

Stopping by the table, you slid in, next to Tony. Staring straight into Natasha's green eyes, as the billionaire beside you screeched, “What the fuck?!”

[maxortecho]

Oooof! I am L-I-V-I-N-G for the dark-chaotic-sexy energy we are getting from Jones this season!!! It's fulfilling the darkMax! shaped hole in my soul I feel we were robbed of last season when the show resolved Max's post resurrection destructive energy problem in, what, the first 5 minutes of ep 2x06?

Gimme all the condescending smirks, sauntering gait, and slow drawls please!!!

Anyways, in leaning towards the idea of a dual possession, i.e. Jones is sharing Max's body, I am vibrating in anticipation of the mental breakdown Max is (finally?) primed to have when he gets back some semblance of consciousness. I've had MANY thoughts since the first season surrounding Max's isolation and self-loathing, I believe largely triggered by how he felt about killing the man who attacked Isobel in the desert, that has then been compounded every time he learns more about who they are. The idea that killing makes them more powerful, feels good, etc and how that runs completely counter to Max's morals and how he wants to act. I feel that this internal conflict has been building every season, i.e. Max killing Noah, the fear of the chaotic energy he would bring with him if they brought him back to life, losing what was left of his identity when he found out he wasn't Isobel's brother, almost killing Flint at the end of S2 (which, btw, can we get some mention of that people?), and now, in walks Jones. A man who is his family, who potentially has all the answers, who has HIS FACE, and who kills people seemingly without remorse.

Uggggh, Max being literally confronted with a mirror image of himself, all the parts he keeps hidden and is ashamed of?!?! I'll just be over here with a spoon for the rest of the season eating this up...

MTE! S2 teased us so much with dark!Max and then didn't even let that cranky lightning man thrive the way we all deserved to watch. Tbh the weak fizzle of the dark!Max plot has to be in like top 3 s2 disappointments for me haha.

This Jones stuff may not be the same as actual dark!Max, but it is a fun twist in terms of circumstances/ alternative realities that could've played out with him.

AND YES re causing Max a crisis. Particularly if Max has been "awake" to some extent while Jones possessed him? If Max was forced to passively experience the high Jones felt from killing and doing whatever he wants? Max would be seeing his own hands committing all the things he's feared and dreaded about himself.

That fear has been a part of him since the beginning, and iirc it was only really in 2x13 that Max first tentatively vocalised it to Liz. So I'd like to see that topic revisited when they get him back in control of himself and he's still reeling from the experience. 3x09 seems like it could be a great opportunity given Liz/Max will be on their own working together.

But the way you described all this is *chef's kiss* to me lmao. Max has definitely tried to avoid this part of himself by averting his eyes and never looking directly at it; which is hard to do when your OG copy is now in front of you. I'm interested in whether there will be permanent consequences from this experience too. eg, a psychic merge, maybe resulting in Max connecting more with his dark side and finding a way to channel it rather than bottling it up. But idk if the show would be willing to go there lol.

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Hamilton!firstprince au

(cross posted from twitter with a couple of edits b/c i couldn’t make them there)

in which i loosely follow the plot of hamilton except its firstprince and alex and henry get a happy ending. inspired by the striking similarities i noted between our favorite first son and his namesake hamilton in the broadway musical

the similarities:

both have/will have a political career

both often talk too much/don't mind their words

both began as lawyers

both extremely motivated but overwork themselves (“nonstop” +  “you have a fire under ur ass for no good goddamn reason)

both had some sort of sex scandal that impacted their career plans

hamilton speculated to be bi

the story

the setup of the colonized country alex lives in is similar to the usa vs england but fictional bc alexs race would have limited his opportunities in america's early years

idk names for either of these countries so its now the colony and the motherland

alex + his mom live alone in the poorer southern part of the colony

but his dad + june live elsewhere + they dont rly contact e/o (tho they do know of e/o’s existence)

june becomes a journalist who writes important pieces abt independence

when alex comes of age his mom reveals she used to be part of the rebellion

thats actually why his dad left to raise june bc it was too dangerous

his parents met in the rebellion but oscar left first for june while ellen stayed until she realized she was pregnant w alex

ellen still has some rebel contacts but she mostly sheltered alex to keep him safe

now tho alex decides to join too + the rebellion sends him up north to the capital for an education bc he's smart + they need people like that

he attends uni + meets like-minded people there

tension grows btwn the colony in the motherland, and alex + his friends write/speak out often and this goes on throughout their schooling

they’re also troublemakers in general too, much to the annoyance of the motherland soldiers stationed in the capital to prevent rebellion

henry is one of those soldiers

he's from a noble family in the motherland but was sent overseas as the sort of black sheep of the family due to his sexuality

the idea was to let him be in charge in the colony + reestablish a reputation there w/o embarrassing the main family back home

henry hates his job + feels bad for the colonists but still does what he's told anyway

alex + fhis riends like to bug motherland soldiers for fun

nothing  enough to put their lives in danger too much (although yes that too esp when drunk)

henry becomes a favorite target of alex's bc he's awfully stoic + statue like + on the way to uni - overall fun to antagonize 

there's also the fact that alex is angry at all the soldiers for oppressing the colony + holding up the motherland monarchs tyranny (but also alex just is the type to fight literally everything and anything) 

it becomes almost a daily ritual for them to argue 

henry wonders why this colonist keeps on picking a fight w him but soon almost looks forward to it

many of the other soldiers know or speculate why henry is in the colony but none make the effort to get to know him; some even call him arrogant or undeserving of his position

alex doesn't 

of course alex also doesn't know him

and alex hates him

but he doesn't whisper behind henry's back

henry comes to read some of the essays alex publishes speaking out against the monarchy + also hears alex speak to crowd in the square

alex is a talented + charismatic public speaker

henry finds himself growing increasingly sympathetic to the colonists cause

at the same time he and the other soldiers are order to be stricter and dole out more punishments

the others gleefully do so which makes henry concerned about alex's safety bc alex often seems to have no self-preservation skills

henry asks alex for a word when he's alone 

“am I in trouble?” “no but you bloody will be if u keep going on like this” 

“this is serious” “so am I” “you can't go around saying things so openly you'll get yourself killed”

alex tries to leave at this point “I think I'll be ok” but henry shoves him against the nearest wall 

“listen to me! stop acting like this is a game! ur putting ur sodding life in danger! I dont bloody care what ur opinions r but why must u declare them around enemy soldiers? how is this helpful 2 ur cause? u cant fight if ur dead” 

“you'd b surprised how effective martyrs are” 

cue enraged henry noises 

alexs gaze turns hard “listen i  appreciate/the advice” he says sarcastically “but I dont need an enemy telling me what to do. I can take care of myself” 

there's a stirring in alexs chest after he removes henry's hand and stalks off that he's pretty sure is anger

like it can't be anything else 

while alex is trying to convince himself of that, the tensions boil over + soon the two sides are on the brink of war then the fighting starts

henry + alex don't talk much for a while bc they're both busy on their sides preparing

school is on hold during the war so alex + his friends are looking to serve + bring glory to their names 

alex esp is recognized for his intelligence + becomes the recognized general rafael lunas secretary

luna is the george washington figure in this case who is impressed by alex wants him as his right-hand man

alex is disappointed his role is not on the battlefield bc he knows he has a good tactical mind + he could change the tide of a losing war + gain honor and status thru it, which would put him in a good position to be elected in the future

as secretary, alex is in charge of a lot of important correspondence eg for more supplies + men, so the motherland soldiers figure ambushing him off the battlefield would make things hard for the colonists

henry overhears this plan + immediately worries for alex's safety but he's cornered by another soldier to talk strategy + misses the chance to take out the men then

henry manages to catch that they're going to attack alex at night when he leaves + henry arrives just in time to kill them in a panic

alex hears the gunshot + yells “drop ur weapon”, drawing his own gun

henry obviously does + alex inspects the scene he keeps a gun fixed on henry

“what's going on?” he asks, eyeing henry w/ suspicion

henry explains everything + looks positively terrified bc he just betrayed his side even tho the motherland and his family has treated him like shit since he came out but still. 

becoming an outright traitor is not something henry ever planned + leaving behind everything he's ever known w no hope of ever going back is terrifying

but he also doesn't regret protecting alex

alex questions henry but can quickly tell henry is sincere + is telling the truth

henry explains his change of heart + they have a heartfelt moment in/just outside luna's office.

alex almost died + henry just switched sides, emotions are running high and they escalate into a kiss. the moon is out + it's all very romantic but they don't admit their feelings yet

soon after they go to luna, explain the situation + talk w the other generals/people in charge

henry is sent away on an assignment + is watched closely at first but he proves his loyalty quickly

henry and alex write letters back + forth that turn into love letters 

besides managing correspondence for luna, some of alexs ideas of sneak attacks/stealing supplies help turn the tide of the war andhe also writes to other countries for foreign aid

eventually the colonists win in this huge up start that no one anticipated bc the motherland is known as the most powerful country in the world

he + henry reunite in the capital of once the war is over

alex finishes up his studies + practices law + soon is chosen to be part of the new lawmaking body

things are going pretty well for alex w his legal + political success and his relationship with henry

they dont live together but theyre dating tho no one else knows

alex pretends to be single instead + says he doesn't want to be tied down

it works while he's still in his early 20s but as he gets closer to 30, people start to find it strange + tell him he needs to settle

being married to his work is also not a valid excuse anymore

it turns out alex made quite a few political enemies due to his strong opinions that he always vocalises + can be unwilling to compromise on

they don't like his ideas or more often hate him and hence his ideas too

they look for some dirt on him bc atm he has lunas support which has a lot of sway + decide they need to find out why he hasn't married

they manage to find out about henry + threaten to tell the public

alex is obviously distraught re the consequences personally + politically

so alex and henry discuss what to do 

henry is willing to put alexs political career 1st but firmly explains their relationship can't continue if that's the case

henry gave up his whole life + any possibility of going back to his family so he's not willing to be someone's dirty little secret  

alex doesn't know what to do so he goes to consult luna who he's become very close with over the years

luna is not quite old enough to be his father but he's like an uncle + he always calls alex “kid”, much to alex's annoyance

but alex knows he'll have some good advice

alex + luna end up having a long conversation

like washington luna has always been very vocal abt his regrets re his naivety + desire for glory back in his youth

hes always said that this was his greatest regret in life. but then he tells alex like he had another great regret in life- letting go of the love of his life

alex is surprised bc luna's never mentioned anyone special

“who is she?” 

“he” luna corrects “he was my best friend. we had something a relationship but it was short-lived bc I decided I wanted to join the military + attain glory. i thought thats what i wanted in life. turns out that stuff is meaningless w/o anyone to share it w. nor did I even achieve it. perhaps i did accomplish some things but now in my retirement I have no one by my side. i have found that life is meaningless without love and family.  

“i tried to find my friend to reconnect after all these years even as simply friends but he died in the war. alex, I see many similarities between us. don't make the same mistake that I did, alexander. glory + lasting legacy mean nothing if you're alone in the end

“if you make choices that are motivated by love and family you will be a lot happier”

alex takes his advice even though he kind of hates sort of giving up to his enemies

he decides to choose henry and his own happiness over politics bc in the end he's done a lot of good work and that much is enough

also his enemies probably would try to blackmail him throughout his career if he was doing something against their interests

so he + henry leave the capital and move uptown and the two of them have a quiet retirement + engage in philanthropy for the rest of their lives

separately they've amassed a decent amount of money - henry kept a portion of his inheritance despite being unofficially disowned and alex made a lot of money as a lawyer and then politician

as it turns out alex still has a tangential role in politics when some of his former allies go to him for advice

all in all, alex happy with his final decision to be with henry and step away from politics

the two of them live happy and full lives together

[hoochy-coo]

'On top of that, I feel like he’s made it clear with his track history that he’s never going to vocalise his distaste or frustration over how his fans go after his partner

Do we think it would have a positive or negative effect if he vocalised it? I'm not sure whether he stays quiet because speaking up would just lead to more noise from all aspects of his fanbase? 🤷‍♀️

However Olivia seems quite strong and has been in Hollywood for a while - so maybe he assumes she can defend herself (which she can) and he doesn't need to get involved.

Idk if it would be positive or negative. I don’t think even he or his team can gauge what the reaction will be from his stans. All I know if he’s shown that he’s not willing to speak on OR for his partner and I know that would be an issue with a lot of women, cause it would then come across as “why won’t you defend me from your own people/fans?” Whereas I’d imagine that people that are more accustomed to fame (i.e. Olivia) might be more understanding of his decision to keep quiet and how that works PR-wise.

[nev3rfound]

back before us : b.b

brief summary: going back in time to get the space stone, but you don’t exactly end up in the right time 

word count: 1.1k requested: nope, just something I thought of (I’ve been reading a lot of loki pieces where the reader sees him in the past and I wanted to write one with buck) warnings: kinda angsty and sad? idk

* masterlist of sorts *

“We all know our mission, then?” Tony asks once more, looking around as we all nod in response. “Get your stone and get the hell out.” 

You look over to Steve who gives you a small smile before you close your eyes, listening to Scott's advice. “You’re going to feel a pull to that direction so follow it. Don’t get split up because who knows where you’ll end up.” Scott half laughs, but as Tony glances over he cuts the laughter short. 

“So if we get lost, what happens?” Natasha speaks up, vocalising your shared fear as Steve reaches out, taking hold of your hand and giving it a light squeeze.

Scott shrugs his shoulders. “Guess you’ll find out if it happens.” 

“Well, on that cheery note, shall we?” You clap your hands, breaking the uncomfortable silence as the machine whirs up, Hulk watching as the bright light covers you all. 

You’re in the quantum realm, wandering through as everyone splits off down different paths. “Steve?” His name leaves your lips, but the sound doesn’t follow as him and Tony go down one path but you’re being lead down another entirely. 

Yelling you shut your eyes as you fall onto the ground with a heavy thud. “Shit.” You mutter as you open your eyes, groaning at the impact against the concrete floor. 

“Just keep him there,” Lifting your head up, you could hear Steve talking to Sam. But that made no sense, Sam was gone? 

Rising to your feet, you dust off your trousers and glance over the concrete brick wall and catch a glimpse of a sight you never anticipated seeing again. A small gasp escapes your lips as you back against the wall, hoping they didn’t see you. 

Bucky remains seated, his metal arm clamped down as Steve and Sam stand in front of him. “Your mother's name was Sarah, you used to wear newspaper in your shoes,” A small smile plays on your lips as you listen to him, to Bucky talking. 

“You can’t read that in a museum.” Steve comments and you wipe your eyes, knowing this isn’t the time to get emotional. 

Staying perfectly still, you wait until Steve and Sam walk away. “You know I can hear you breathing,” Bucky calls out into the open space, and your heart stops in your chest. “I can hear that too, I can’t do much so you might as well come out.”

You take a deep breath before stepping from your hiding spot, meeting the soldier's eyes. “Hi, Bucky.” You mutter, unsure of your own voice as it shakes before him. 

“Do I know you?” He tilts his head, recognising your face from somewhere but it feels like a faint memory he cannot pinpoint. “You, you look familiar.” He states before glancing away.

“You’ll know me eventually, Buck,” You tell him quietly, looking at the scratches and bruises that line his face, the stubble on his jaw. “God, you look so young.” You whisper and watch as he lifts his head up, seeing tears forming in your eyes.

“You’re not from ‘round here, are you?” Bucky catches your gaze, the pureness in your eyes as they focus on his filled with pain and vulnerability. He has no idea what’s to come, the truth that lies ahead. 

Shaking your head you kneel down in front of him, watching as he flinches as you rest your hand on his knee. “I can’t say it’s going to be easy for you, Barnes. But hold on in there, okay? There’s a lot out there waiting for you, and hopefully, it’ll be worth it.” You wipe your eyes, and Bucky can feel himself wanting to reach out, feeling his heart emote more than just sorrow for the destruction he’s caused.

“You not stickin’ about, then?” He keeps his eyes on yours, scanning them as you force yourself away, rising back to your feet as you shake your head.

“I wish I could, James.” You whisper and see his eyes narrow. “But it’s not the right time.” 

The faint sound of voices appear and you let out a small sigh. “Who are you?” He asks you as you back away, the footsteps getting closer. 

“Y/n?” Steve calls out to you, confusing evident in his expression as Bucky looks over and back to you. “What, I, I thought you were in New York?” He steps closer toward you, noticing small differences. “You, you can’t be here.” He whispers into your ear as you glance down to Bucky who watches you closely. 

“I didn’t mean to come here.” You tell him, knowing he’s clueless as Sam stands behind with his arms crossed. “Hey, Sam.” You wave and he waves back, something you never anticipated seeing, that dumb smile he always gives to make you laugh. 

“You gotta go, it’s not safe.” Steve places his hand on your arm, trying to lead you away. 

“Wait.” Bucky speaks up, silencing everyone as Steve’s hold of your arm drops. “Y/n?” He questions and you move away from Steve and stand in front of Bucky.

“Yes?” You whisper, watching as his eyes move around, slowly scanning your body before his eyes meet yours. 

“It, it’s you?” He lets out a dry laugh and you open your mouth to talk and watch his eyes widen before everything goes dark. 

Opening your eyes, you pant heavily as strong arms rest on your shoulders. “Get off me!” You yell as you see everyone staring at you with concern. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Steve helps you gently to your feet, wrapping his arms around you as the other Avengers stand still in the circle. “Where did you go?” 

Sniffing all you can think of is the moment he realised who you were, what you might mean to him a few years down the line. “I saw Bucky, Steve.” You feel the tears falling down your face, and for once you’re not alone. “I, I saw my Bucky.”

Steve chuckles and pulls away, smiling softly to you. “How was he doing?” 

You shrug a shoulder. “Arm clamped down, in the midst of the conflict between everyone. So, he’s had better days.” 

“2016, just before he met you,” Steve allows his mind to wander back, knowing you were in New York being kept out of sight from everything. Out of everyone involved, you were one of the few unaffected, that was until Bucky came on the scene. “seems like a lifetime ago.” 

Nodding along you let out a small sigh. “We’ll see him again, Steve. We’ll see them all.” You pat his shoulder as you picture his soft smile, those bright blue eyes that had yet to know you, to love you. All of that was still to come for him. “I’ll make sure of it, for him.” 

[noussommeslessquelettes]

hmmm I saw the short fic ask... and I was torn between angst (#17) and something sweeter (#19) I was like idk... but since its my bday today and im feeling good after work... ill choose #21 for klance ofc -ATC

Happy v v v v late birthday!!! For this one, I thought I’d try a stab at leakira–this prompt just screamed “battle couple klance” to me. This one’s a bit shorter; I think it’s the only one that can actually qualify as a mini fic lol

Send me a ship with one of these and I’ll write a mini fic

21. Things you said when we were on top of the world

Preview: “Well shit, you’re not lookin’ so hot.”

Akira scoffed. Of course, this was the agent that had to find him like this.

“Sanchez,” he hissed through his teeth—he feared anything louder would further compound the pain in his undoubtedly broken ribs.

“Well shit, you’re not lookin’ so hot.”

Akira scoffed. Of course, this was the agent that had to find him like this.

“Sanchez,” he hissed through his teeth—he feared anything louder would further compound the pain in his undoubtedly broken ribs.

“Kogane,” the other offered in reply, his footsteps echoing closer until they stopped, his shadow falling over Akira’s slumped form against the wall. “Did they get you?”

He grit his teeth, trying to determine if a shrug or a hum would hurt less. He considered it for too long, clearly, when Leandro moved to kneel beside him, his voice softening.

“Akira—”

“‘M fine,” he grit out, lifting his head to match Leandro’s gaze. His brow furrowed harshly, frown lines accentuated from the long years spent fighting this war, but in his eyes Akira caught a flicker of concern, one he probably wouldn’t have been able to identify if he didn’t know him any better. “Took the ‘bots out, but one managed to land a few hits on me before it.” He scoffed. It was just his luck to get taken down two steps away from the final faceoff with the Empire.

“Are you bleeding?” He shook his head. “Well you better get off your ass then, ‘cause you ‘n me are ending this, once and for all.” He flashed Akira a smirk, then moved to stand.

“Leo, wait.” He froze, quirking an eyebrow. “Hold on until backup gets here. I can’t go any farther than this.”

Leandro blew a scoff. “Hate to break it to you, buttercup, but backup’s not coming. You and me are the last one’s standing; everyone else is out of comm.”

“You are,” he corrected. “I’m out too.”

He rolled his eyes. “Jesus, Akira, we didn’t come this far for me to leave you behind when we’re moments away from victory. I don’t care if I have to carry you in my arms when we bust in there, guns blazing—you’re coming with me.”

Akira sighed. “I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you?” The image of Leandro cradling him in one arm while letting loose with a machine gun in the other like some twisted action-figure fantasy flashed briefly in his mind’s eye, and it pulled a painful chuckle from him.

“It’d be a pretty sexy visual, you’ve got to admit.” He shuffled to Akira’s side, and wedged an arm between his back and the wall. Akira winced, but stopped short of vocalising his discomfort.

“I don’t have to admit anything,” he replied, comforted by the solace of a familiar banter between them when it felt like his ribcage had just been used for batting practice. He eased his opposite hand off his side, then threw the arm over Leandro’s shoulder.

Leandro’s hand landed on his hip, gently at first, then he gripped on more firmly when he met no protest. “C’mon, we both know you’ve got a thing for me. You ready?”

Akira drew his feet up under him, afraid an affirmative communicated otherwise might’ve given Leandro the wrong idea. “I told you already: I don’t have the time to think about shit like that.”

Leandro hummed, taking on the brunt of Akira’s weight as he stood them both up. “If all goes well, that shouldn’t be a problem anymore.”

“It won’t be if all goes to shit, either.”

Leandro barked a laugh, tugging Akira along as he took their first step. “Tell you what: if we make it out of this mess alive, you finally say yes to that date I’ve been asking for.”

Akira rolled his eyes, incredulous that Leandro was still on that. But… “Sure. Why the hell not?”

“You’ll be thankin’ me later, after you see how cool and sexy I am taking down Zarkon.”

With a wince, he pulled his hand away from his side, unholstering his blaster as they approached the doorway. “Petra’s hacked the security, right?”

Leandro nodded, his tone sobering up. “He’s alone in there, or so she says. Outgunned, outnumbered, nowhere else to go.”

They stilled before the double doors, taking in the weight of what was about to happen. The fate of the rebellion—of the whole world—hinged on their next thirty seconds. Leandro looked to him, the silent question hanging in the air between them.

Are you ready?

Akira scoffed. “What? Are you waiting for a kiss good luck?”

After a moment, Leandro smirked, shaking his head. “Don’t need it—you can get it to me after.”

Then he kicked open the door.

[cncuddle-party]

I can barely use this fucking app anymore. All I do is open it and compulsively check your blog. It's the only way I know how you are cause you never fucking talk to me.

You know how crazy busy I am, so saying why won't they talk to me is just stupid. Dumb. Useless. If you need more of my support and presence then tell me, and I'll make the extra effort for you. But I'm drowning right now.

Urgh,, I guess I wish you would vocalise all this shit to me. Instead I'm having to bite my tongue because if I ever let it slip that I've been reading what you write, I know you'll drop it and I'll go back to being in the dark. If that ever happened idk what I'd do. Cause I don't trust you. I don't trust you to tell me, and every post you make just confirms it, that you haven't given me any reason to give you my trust again.

I hope we get better. This is almost unbearable and it just makes me want to do shit and be unfaithful. I'm not. Because I've moved passed that behaviour, but it does make it more difficult to control those impulses. I'm worried,,

Anyway TL;DR we're not great right now and I hope we get better...

[captaindibbzy]

This is a decade long mood for me, and I'm very tired right now so can't entirely vocalise my irritation. I spent my whole school life being told if you work hard and are smart you will get places, only to be deposited out at the end in to a world that glorifies the loud trouble makers I was told not to be. I have watched, and lost out to, nepotism and one of the first pieces of advice I got from the job centre was "do you know anyone who can get you a job?"

And if you even hint to being one degree away from normal you get canned without warning. My number one feed back at interviews is "you were great but someone else was better" which is useless.

Second piece of advice I get is "lie". Like, is this really what everyone else is doing? How the fuck am I supposed to compete against liers handing out jobs to unqualified friends?

The spent months looking for a job I could do where I don't have to talk to anyone x_X and now I'm spending £2000 on a course that is boringly easy for me cause employers won't believe me when I say I'm competent.

Anyway, I got a job in the end. How? Idk. Luck. Finding a place that takes diversity seriously instead of looking at disability like a sign of moral failure. I hope you can find something [hugs]

There was a post I wanted to reblog which I can’t find anymore, but I totally agree with… job interviews are a personality test that favours extroverts. In fact, every part of finding a job puts shy, isolated and sick people at a major disadvantage that feels impossible to work around.

If you haven’t had a job in a few years for whatever reason (illness, childcare, just being inexperienced, etc) then you’re excluded from applying for a new one because you don’t have any past employers to give you a reference, and a lot of jobs (even some unpaid volunteering roles too!) demand at least two. If you live in a very rural area with no local services, jobs, clubs, shops, and have no means of independent transport to boot, then how are you supposed to foster these expected connections? Companies block prospective CVs. If you don’t know the name of someone in the recruitment office, then your call won’t be forwarded. Stalk random employees of a company in linkedin and risk having your name blacklisted for being a pest?  

Volunteering gets touted as a way to put yourself out there, get contacts, get noticed, put things on your CV… but every time I’ve done something and talked to the people with jobs leading the volunteers have admitted that they got into the organisation via nepotism and not because they got noticed through volunteering. I don’t have the time or means to dedicate myself to giving free labour in the hopes of maybe getting told there’s a job opening coming up that will only be given to the recruiter’s niece anyway.

Jobs are all about it’s not what you know, its who you know. If you’ve been isolated or had anything stand in your way of meeting people in a professional capacity, then it feels like the whole process of finding work is barred to you.