#but idk if ill actually write anything
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i’ve not slept in many hours :/
#i want to!#cannot#:(#not going to school today bc i dont think driving would be the best idea#so im gonna eat soemthing once everyone leaves the house then im gonna fucking. try to sleep the whole time i guess#i did get a few more fics written though! planning on writing a bit more before i eat jsut so i can get a few more days done#but idk if ill actually write anything#ok. imgonna try to sleep on emore time bc. sleey#bye now <<2#em rambles
1 note
·
View note
Text
therapy sesh
#fuck imma ramble in the tags actually lmao#i said this on twitter but i hc that iso gained some knowledge of octarian thru meeting so many octoling kamabo participants#so 8 has an easier time talking to him since she doesn't have to butcher inkling lang. to be understood#plus idk iso is a chill and insightful dude#he has a lot of care n respect for 8 and the work shes putting in#giving him the mem cakes without expecting anything#he wants her to slow down some tho idk i feel like shes desperate to find all the thangs/mem cakes and starts rushing thru tests#queue iso therapy sesh#he gives her his lil octo doll B(#raaagh#i can go forever lmao#maybe i should write a fanfiction or some shit christ#anyways#if u read this idk#thanks#ask me stuff abt 8 and/or iso and ill love u forever#or not thats chill lol#rambles#splatoon#iso padre#agent 8#myart
799 notes
·
View notes
Text
I keep starting things but never finishing them 🥴 oops
Anyway, Zosan trying to name their third child (their second born son), only to end up a frustrating mess as usual 🤗
Hopefully I got my names right, correct me if I'm wrong please
#idk if ill finish this one either kfhsjs#think i do wanna come back to it for sure#the only reason by other three wips are well WIPS is because i need to actually#catch up on wci and wano because theyre gonna be heavy on the spoilers i suppose#i know jist of both arcs but tbh i wanna FINISH them before actually writing about them so i dont get anything wrong#anyway lol theyre like 30/31 in this so its well after wci and wano and well pretty much every arc thatll be after that#so yeah lol this was easier to write so far#wip#one piece#one piece fankid#one piece fanfiction#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#black leg sanji#zosan#zoro x sanji#traflagar law
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
rough rough draft of chapter 1 of the bellum x linebeck fic
Though the storm had passed and the sun finally shown upon the sea again, Linebeck felt gloomy. He leaned against his ship’s rope railings and stared at the horizon. The night before, the pounding of the rain had put him at ease. Now, the bright afternoon had brought back that familiar anxiety. After some thinking, Linebeck pushed himself away from the railing and resolved to begin his morning chores.
As the only person on his ship, it was up to Linebeck to take care of it- and he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He knew his beloved steamship like the back of his hand, and he collected a bucket as he blinked the last of the sleep from his eyes. Firstly, he gathered seawater to dump into the engine’s storage tank. The ship was drifting at the moment, but once Linebeck would turn it on, the heat would build up in the engine and the water would boil and evaporate and build up steam to get the wheels moving.
Linebeck knelt at the lowest edge of the deck and dunked the bucket into the water for the ninth- tenth? - time. He’d have to do some extra engine maintenance before he got moving. He’d been traveling during the entire storm, likely pushing the engine to its limits. But after the water gathering, Linebeck checked the hull for barnacles and scratches, checked the railings for damaged rope, checked his food and water supplies, barely giving himself a moment of rest while he went through the familiar motions.
Since he began sailing, Linebeck’s life had been altogether monotonous and unpredictable. His ship was one he had designed himself, and knew better than anyone else how to take care of and operate it. He had no desire to take on a crew, and knew from experience that they’d only hold him back- trying to teach new people how to work his ship was incredibly tedious and often led to them making mistakes and doing more harm than good. The last bastard he’d temporarily hired and bothered to teach about his ship- Linebeck scowled and shook his head. Not even worth thinking about, now.
The storm had replenished his fresh water supply. It had been bad enough to obscure visibility across the sea, so Linebeck had done some fishing. If he cared for gods, he would have thanked one that he made it through without getting sick.
He didn’t need a crew. Linebeck hadn’t had a long-term crew member for what- seven years now? They just made him feel uneasy and he could never muster up the patience to put up with them.
Or maybe he kept finding the wrong people. That had certainly happened before. He was never particularly good with other people. Linebeck was almost certain that he’d made a good few new enemies just in the last month. His eyes scanned the horizon as he walked back out onto the deck. Linebeck tightened his grip on his mop’s handle. He was totally alone. And yet his skin prickled with unease.
“…No point worrying,” he mumbled to himself. He started mopping the deck, forcing himself to keep his eyes trained on the wood. His last chore of the morning was always the most soothing. He moved slowly and rhythmically, beginning at the prow and slowly making his way back to the cabin. His ship was small, though large enough to be comfortable for him. The deck sloped upwards a few feet from the cabin and plateaued, about a foot higher and better to accommodate the rooms and machinery beneath.
The air was warm and humid; Linebeck brushed his hair out of his face and behind his shoulders. He considered removing his coat, but he was nearly done mopping- no point in wasting the time. The heat was never a big issue for him. He was perfectly suited to the sea, and Linebeck felt more than confidant handling every aspect of this life on his own. No problems whatsoever. No good reason for the anxiety that refused to leave his mind.
Maybe there was a good reason, the same reason why he kept scanning the horizon.
Finished mopping the deck, Linebeck turned to admire it. The storm had cleaned it well enough, but now that the sky was clear he wasn’t just going to cut out part of his morning routine.
With everything done for the morning, Linebeck gathered up his mop and the bucket and moved to put them away. The bucket would be dumped out and left with other containers in the storage room, the mop left in the engine room… and then the engine would need to be started up. The nearest inhabited island was two days away (with good conditions), so while Linebeck had no need to get going right that moment, he felt safer with the engine running.
To get the engine started, Linebeck pulled a lever by the wheel up and waited a moment as he heard the hissing of steam start, and then stop. He knelt down in front of the storage tank. Enough water for the day, that was for sure. He withdrew his matchbox from a pocket in his coat and struck a match, humming idly to himself as he tossed it in the space below the water. It would only be a few minutes before the ship could get going; over the years, Linebeck had gone back and forth on the design of the engine, and managed to make it especially efficient with different materials and methods, and was quite proud of it. While the water heated up, he shut the tank door and sat back, resting a moment.
He’d gotten… some sleep last night. He’d dreamed briefly, and didn’t feel as terrible as he usually did. Some sleep. Better than no sleep at all. Linebeck laid down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. He stared at the winding pipes at the tops of the walls and then shut his eyes. If he was lucky, he could perhaps find a few minutes to nap. Just a few minutes…
The ticking of the machinery around him slowly faded in as the engine properly started up. The sound melted into with the noise of the ocean outside, and Linebeck felt his anxieties ease. The familiarity of his daily routine eased his mind like nothing else.
The next island was north of his position… Linebeck let out a long breath. He’d have to at least position his ship facing north, and get started within the hour. He sat up and stretched. If he got started now, he could reach the island by late tomorrow. The engine was ready to go, and Linebeck smiled to himself as he fiddled with some of the smaller levers and switches, listening to the subtle changes in the ticking and clicking around him.
He paused when he heard up an unfamiliar noise. Linebeck stilled his hands, suddenly feeling cold.
Without thinking, Linebeck kicked the engine into proper operation and after a moment, the wheels on either side of the ship started turning and he quickly steered the ship in the opposite direction of that odd sound. He heard it again, from outside his ship- the unmistakable sound of cannon fire, and Linebeck was not brave enough to stop and check to see if it was aimed at him.
It was usually aimed at him, anyways.
Linebeck steered his ship away and locked the wheel in place; he felt his heart pounding in his chest as more muffled canon fire reached his ears. One sounded closer than the rest, and he managed to tear himself away from the wheel and run up to deck. Running away was nice, but he needed to know where to run away to.
It seemed like he was getting chased more and more. Linebeck figured he ought to start a list of the crews that had it out for him; that was something to do once he was safe. He stumbled out onto the deck and leaned over the rope railing, staring at the southern horizon. Sure enough, he could see a pirate ship in the distance heading his way, and the wind was in their favor.
Linebeck gripped the railings until the rope started to dig into his skin. The hell did he do to them? He recognized the decorated sails as the sails of the ship that’d been pursuing him before the storm. Their captain was one he’d cheated out of several hundred rupees in poker- or was that a different crew? No time to think it over while they got closer and closer. More cannon fire rang out, and Linebeck jumped back as the cannonball splashed into the water dangerously close to his ship.
Sailing in a straight line was a terrible idea. Better to leverage his steamship’s advantages and focus on disrupting their aim. Linebeck wildly looked around. No rocks or islands in sight. His best hope was to run for it and hope that either they’d run out of cannonballs or the wind would die down. He raced back inside.
He was just one man; why did all of these pirates decide that being slighted by him once marked him as the biggest threat to them on the entire Great Sea? Pirates were so petty. He flinched when he heard a muffled splash and felt the ship rock. Linebeck gripped the wheel tightly and started turning the ship west, his sweaty hands almost slipping off. He gritted his teeth as the cannon fire sounded closer and the ship rocked again.
The last time he’d been pursued like this, a cannonball had burnt his hull and cost him several days of sleep. Linebeck turned the ship far enough around to spy the pursuing pirates again; the moment he heard the cannon fire again, he spun the wheel to sail in the opposite direction. Turning was slow, but his ship never stopped moving. He’d had nightmares about one of the wheels being damage, and Linebeck felt weak in the knees just thinking about it.
As the pirate ship slipped out of view, the waters around his ship were more violently disrupted, and Linebeck yelped as his ship was more violently rocked by the waves. There was no cannon fire, no sound of a cannonball hitting the waves- and the water was clearly churning too violently for it to have been a cannonball. He clung to the steering wheel for dear life, his knees nearly buckling underneath him, and the cacophonous sound of an especially large wave made him wince. The ship rocked again, but still no cannon fire. Instead, Linebeck picked up a new muffled noise.
…Splintering wood?
The wood of his own ship was fine, there was no motion asides from the violent waves rocking his ship, but the distant splintering continued, and with it, faraway screams. For the second time in barely five minutes, Linebeck’s curiosity prevailed over his fear. On shaky legs he stumbled up onto his deck- slick with water that had poured onboard, and nearly fell over the railings when he reached them.
The pursuing pirate ship was being torn apart by something. Something had pulled the main mast down and split it in half, tearing through the sails and ripping the vessel in half. Linebeck squinted, hardly seeing anything that could be causing it, then caught a glimpse of what looked like a thick black rope curled around the prow, tearing it clean off and dragging it into the sea. The way those ‘ropes’ moved; Linebeck slowly slid down into a crouch as he realized that a sea monster was what was attacking that ship.
One pirate jumped from where the prow had been, likely trying to escape and swim away, but a black tentacle shot out of the water and grabbed them midair and yanked them below the water. Linebeck felt frozen to the spot, more than grateful that he wasn’t the creature’s target, but he feared that if he took advantage of the chaos and sailed away, he would be attacked next.
The pursuing ship began to sink, and the sharp cracking of wood was piercing as it reached Linebeck’s ears. The hull was torn in two, more tentacles appearing to crush them into unsalvageable wreckages. The fear that shot through Linebeck urged him to straighten back up. He started to hurry back into the engine room, but stopped in his tracks as the tentacles withdrew back into the water.
The pirate ship’s remains slowly sank, survivors clinging to any floating pieces. Linebeck stared at the water around his ship. That… thing had stopped. That sea monster that he and those pirates had the misfortune to disturb.
That sea monster- Linebeck had researched every possible hostile creature that had been seen on the Great Sea, and that certainly had to have been one of them. He grabbed onto his railing again, feeling too sick to move his gaze from the sinking ship down to the waters just below him. He stood at the end of the railing, steady on the sloping deck despite the way his limbs shook and his heart hammered in his chest.
There was a sea monster in these waters. It had just wiped out an entire pirate crew in hardly a minute. From what Linebeck could recall, that pirate crew was rather prepared and experienced, and their ship certainly wasn’t some glorified piece of driftwood. This wasn’t just an overgrown gyorg or some other typical sea monster- he was at the mercy of the kind of sea monster that had stories passed around. The kinds that endured for decades or even centuries and were either worshipped or feared. He’d never seen a regular sea monster that had those kinds of tentacles and was that quick and deadly.
One of the stranded pirates was suddenly and violently pulled under water. Linebeck lowered himself back down to a crouch, staring at the now-empty patch of water. After a few moments, a faint red hue bloomed from deep under the surface.
I’m going to die.
The thought seemed to echo in Linebeck’s head. It wasn’t a thought he was unfamiliar with, but it was much, much more frantic now than ever. He was going to drown or be eaten. Even if he got out unscathed, his ship likely wouldn’t, and that sounded just as bad as if he got injured. Linebeck shakily stared down at the water mere feet from him. Every tiny wave and ripple in the water heightened his anxiety, and his mind raced. Another pirate was pulled under the water, eaten, and the waters were still for a moment. Then, there was a subtle ripple further away from the wreckage and closer to Linebeck’s ship.
How do I get out of this?
Linebeck’s terror forced him to his feet, and he raced into his ship’s cabin. That monster was more than capable of catching up with that pirate ship, and Linebeck stumbled on his way down the stairs as his ship rocked slightly.
This monster was capable of killing and catching him with ease, and it tore apart that pirate ship with ease, and it was eating the survivors, and Linebeck was up next if he didn’t think fast. His feet brought him into his ship’s cramped kitchen, and he stood still in the doorway for a moment. His fear and quick-thinking seemed to crash into each other, and his mind went blank as he stared around. Linebeck switched his attention from his utensils to the fish he’d recently caught and had yet to clean to the cupboards. Why the hell had he run here?
The sea monster killed all of the pirates. It was probably chasing after him now. It tore apart the ship, and… ate the pirates. Ate the pirates. Linebeck stared at his recently-caught fish. There were a pair of smaller amberjacks he’d picked up during the storm, a seabass he had a few different plans for, and then a large loovar he’d been planning to sell. He suddenly felt itchy looking at that loovar. He was going to sell it. It was a large, pristine loovar, with sleek, undamaged scales and was over five feet long and took up the entire counter that fit in the narrow kitchen. It was valuable and would net him a good sum of rupees at the next island he docked at.
Linebeck’s ship rocked again, violently enough to knock him off balance. The terror finally mixed with his quick thinking and he grabbed and yanked the loovar off the counter, stumbling a moment under its weight. He slung it over his shoulder and hauled it up the stairs, his shoulder aching before he was even in the engine room. Goddesses, his coat was going to reek if he made it out of this alive.
He paused to grab his mop and tuck it into the crook of his elbow and stumbled a bit, stubbornly keeping the fish from touching the floor. The ship rocked under his feet again, and Linebeck shuddered and hurried out onto the deck. The water around his ship’s hull ripped every few moments, and Linebeck didn’t hesitate in letting the loovar drop onto the wood. He kicked it off the deck, and it fell unceremoniously into the water and floated barely a few inches from the hull- too close.
With the mop he prodded at it and sent it floating slowly away from his ship. And so, Linebeck huddled at the edge of his deck, leaning against his mop for support. For just a moment, the waters were still. The loovar bobbed on the water’s surface and the sunlight glinted off its scales. Linebeck exhaled slowly. For all he knew, the monster could have already left. He could probably grab the loovar if he was careful.
Linebeck started to reach back out with the mop, but drew it back as the water around the loovar suddenly started to ripple. The rippling grew more furious, and the water began to bubble and small waves started rushing out from around the fish- a dark shape was just barely visible deep in the water. The shape rushed to the surface, and Linebeck only got the quickest glimpse before falling backwards onto the deck as the largest waves yet set his ship violently rocking.
It was huge, easily half the size of his ship, and a stunning yellow. For the split second he saw it, Linebeck couldn’t discern any detail, but he didn’t miss the mouth full of sharp teeth that engulfed the loovar. Linebeck had fallen onto his back and didn’t dare move as the sea calmed down, the blurry image of the beast burnt into his mind. He stared up at the sky and realized that the fear in his chest had eased. Had he appeased the creature? The rocking of his ship slowly stopped, and he felt he was in no hurry to get up.
There was a slight splashing, and Linebeck jolted upright. He stared off the edge of the deck, at where the loovar had been floating. It stared back at him. The sunlight glinted off its yellow body, greenish in some spots, and golden in others. Under the water, the rest of it was just a murky shadow. In its mouth, encircled by those teeth, was an eye that stared back at him, the tiny pupil within a burning yellow and orange, surrounded by deep black. A monstrous eye, and one that Linebeck could’ve sworn he’d seen somewhere. Something about the thing’s unblinking gaze made a sense of visceral horror return to Linebeck, and before he could think it through, he scrambled to his feet.
The creature didn’t move in the water, but its eye followed his movements. Despite the hammering of his heart, Linebeck couldn’t tear his gaze away from that eye. His limbs felt locked in place, and his breathing came in in ragged gasps and he realized just how bad his situation had gotten. There was no way that loovar was enough to save him. He’d seen the way the creature had torn apart that pirate ship. He’d seen the way it had grabbed and killed those pirates. There was nothing keeping it from killing him next.
Then, without any sound but the sounds of the water, the creature sank down into the ocean and out of sight.
Linebeck immediately hurried back into his cabin, just barely remembering to snatch up his mop.
He wasted no time in getting his ship up and running again, and set a course for the island before even thinking of relaxing. Linebeck anxiously surveyed the sea as he steered the ship away, but spotted nothing out of the ordinary.
…Maybe the loovar had satisfied that… thing. Linebeck tried not to think much about it. But his nerves were still shot by the encounter, and he stiffly steered until the sun began to set.
He didn’t anchor the ship until stars glittered in the sky. Linebeck moved gingerly around his ship, half expecting that monster to return. But the evening was quiet, and Linebeck eventually felt relaxed enough after doing his rounds. He collected every book he had that mentioned sea monsters and went out on deck to read and rest.
Linebeck rested against the prow. He set the books in his lap and started flipping through each one, quickly skipping through what turned out to be a catalogue of common seafaring enemies, and finding a short collection of short stories based on powerful creatures around the world. As the sun dipped further below the horizon, Linebeck finally reached a much more informative book- one that had been gathering dust at the edge of the shelf- and flipped through more slowly, inspecting each illustration. Dragons, sentient plants, fish creatures, and Linebeck slowed down upon reaching the chapter reserved for deities. It didn’t take long for him to turn a page and find a familiar illustration.
It was little more than a collection of sketches, but that eye was unmistakable. Linebeck leaned over the book with a small spark of triumph in his heart. He was right- it was one he’d heard of before, a creature named ‘Bellum’. Apparently a powerful, demonic sea monster.
Linebeck felt a faint shiver down his spine and he sat up and stared off across the sea. He shut the book and gathered up the rest. Back in the cabin, he locked the door out, and hesitated with his hand on the knob. That nearby island was his destination, a small island with a small town that he’d been for. He needed supplies, needed to restock on food and parts and whatever else eluded him at the moment.
He double-checked the lock and silently headed down into the storage room. Linebeck left the volume with the information on Bellum on the table, and put the rest back on the bookshelf behind the thin bar that kept them from falling out.
Bellum.
Linebeck turned and stared at the book on the table. In the dim light of the few lit lanterns in the room, the book seemed almost ominous with its dark cover and elaborate spine. Where had he picked this one up? Was it one from home, or something he’d bought on a whim a while ago? Either way, it was worth reading through and taking notes on- even if the information he wanted seemed to only take up two pages.
Linebeck idly rubbed his hands together. The only indication of his lingering anxiety was the thin layer of sweat on his palms. Most sea monsters were known through shared stories and rumored sightings. Once he got all he could from the book, he could start asking around at islands. With any luck, though, he wouldn’t have to see that thing again.
#my writing#cant remember the other tag and i do NOT have time to check#uhhhhhh would greatly appreciate feedback/constructive criticism#just know that ill disregard anything related to the story bc thats set in stone- looking more for stuff with the actual prose#or a bit on how linebeck is written (he doesnt feel. anxious. enough so i will ahve to work on that)#if the formatting is fucked then idk. when i posted that warriors thing a while back it fucked up the formatting then too#tbh. not feeling as bad abt this as i wqs before giving a quick editing read through. i still think it needs some real work tho#‘with any luck though he wouldn’t have to see that thing again’ <- thoughts of a guy whos gonna fuck that thing by the end of the year#depends on your definition of fuck ig. i know whats going and i think fuck is a bit if an exaggeration but its also funny#anyways i haved mixted feelings on this but i do really want to improve it so. this aint ff.net or ao3 but id appreciate uh. replies?#whatever here its just shy of 4k words iirc#long post
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve been thinking of a post I made ages ago where I promised that if sprites at large were discovered, things would work out idealistically. At the same time, I have super mixed feelings about how “full” mixed-size integration would work (which I’m not going into).
The end result is this little concept AU about what life would be like when sprites are a known thing.
======
“Um… hello there,” spoke Vivian to her seemingly empty new apartment. “I’m, um, just moving in. The landlord said there may be sprites here, so I just wanted to let you know that, um, I’m nice! Promise. If you ever need anything, just let me know.”
There was no response. Vivian knew that sprites could be fickle with showing themselves to humans. Though some sprites made themselves known, living alongside humans openly, others still preferred to stay hidden, sticking to “the old ways”. Vivian didn’t know what kind of people her new roommates were, but decided to be cordial regardless. After all, they were here first.
“Okay, um, I’m going to bring my stuff in now.”
-
It had been a month or so since Vivian had moved in, and she still hadn’t seen her sprite roommate. She did know they were around, as she had noticed some small objects disappearing here and there. She had concluded that her roommate, or roommates, were old-fashioned, which was fine by her.
“Some older sprites struggle with unlearning a lifetime of learning to fear humans,” said the Youtuber that Vivian was watching, a sprite influencer who recorded videos alongside her human girlfriend. “Remember, if you have sprites living with you, respect their privacy and they’ll respect yours.”
-
As a peace offering, Vivian left out a small piece of dark chocolate, sitting on the counter on top of its wrapper. She began to speak, to nobody in particular, hoping that the sprite would hear her.
“I, uh, heard sprites like chocolate. At least, a friend told me that it helped them get along with their roommate. Um, if you don’t like it, just leave it there and I can get you something else. No pressure to show yourself or anything, I just… want to be a good roommate, I guess.”
The next morning, the chocolate was gone, with a small note written on the wrapper. As it was written in Sprite Script, Vivian had to pull up a translation guide, but was pleased with what the note said.
“Thank you.”
#my writing#this was mostly just forcing myself to post ANYTHING it's not my best work.#but i need to regain the confidence to post writing if i want to post the actual stuff i've been working on.#hashtag just mental illness things#sprite lore tag#technically? idk
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
"I stopped writing fic because no one engaged with it or came into my askbox to discuss it" and "I left emoji comments and sent an ask to a writer discussing their fic but never got a response even though they answer other asks" and "I get really nice comments but never know how to respond to them" are all fandom experiences that can coexist!
#it is so wild to see fandom engagement from different perspectives#one day ill see a post that says 'just comment anything! even if its emojis!'#and then right after ill see a post ranting about emoji comments#i get that it must suck *only* getting emoji comments and that readers need to engage more overall#but on the side of a reader (and im only one person#so my experience is not universal)#i try to leave in depth comments whenever i can. and i read a lot of fic. but sometimes an emoji comment/key smash is what i can give?#because im not eloquent enough to come up with super deep writing praise?#sometimes i read other in depth comments and im like 'ohhhh. woah. howd you see that in the writing???'#and sometimes when i do actually see stuff to be discussed and i do try to engage with authors i often dont get a response#which is fine. i am not entitled to a response#but it does make me less likely to engage again with that writer or writers in general#but that doesnt mean im not going to read their fic?#idk about other people. but fandom on a whole needs to be more accepting of 1. engaging with people who provide content#and 2. being okay with not getting responses#anyways#tb2a rambles
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳
#the weather is so lovely today. it’s breezy and cool but the sun is warm so it’s not too cold or too hot out.#i wish it was like this forever.#ive been feeling so tired lately. physically n mentally & idk if its an underlying health issue or bc i haven’t been sleeping super well#the past few days i wake up in the middle of the night but im able to go back to sleep fairly quickly. but i STILL feel exhausted.#im supposed to talk about my lab results w my doc tmrw on the phone so. i hope everything is okay but tbh i wouldn’t be surprised if#something wasn’t optimal. my iron was okay last time i checked it though. sigh i just idefk anymore.#im sick of everything. im irritable for no reason. i don’t wanna do anything. like anything. i just want to rot in my bed#and even my interests are slowly slipping away from me. writing? couldn’t care less if i don’t write anything for the rest of the year tbh.#reading? i couldn’t even care to browse the shelves when we went to the bookstore the other day and it scared the shit out of me#kpop? meh.#i have a massive to do list and uni starts in a month and i have no energy. + dealing with my own brain and nonsensical thoughts on top#of that. overthinking anxiety all that super great stuff.#im also sick of putting in 110% into my relationships and getting half of it back. family friends whoever. and it makes me so sad. +#i feel like nobody even understands me. or even tries to or wants to.#im just tired#sick and tiredddddd#actually a bit sick too my throat hurts#anyways whatever#it’ll be fine i guess#i don’t want to give up but i don’t have any desire to push through im sort of just. floating. ill deal with it when i deal with it#♡ dear diary…
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
completely random observation but i truly love how so many of my notifications are from lesbian flag pfps/urls/etc. lesbians just fucking love dostoevsky!!! what is it about his work that resonates so hard with us. is it the existential struggle against repressive social institutions and expectations. is it the immense internal anguish & rage barely concealed by a paper-thin veil of politeness out of fear of impropriety that finally overflows explosively. is it the spiteful female characters tormented by the narrative. is it the murder
#honestly i do think theres something interesting about how media with themes of power and destructive rage MASSIVELY appeal to lesbians#tbh even women in general#i cant articulate it exactly but there is something so cathartic for women (especially lesbians)#in like lises rage and self sabotage or grushenkas tragic struggle for power as a poor woman or dunyas self assurance and chosing mercy#even outside of female characters because theres still. a LOT of criticism to be had there#it is so cathartic to see smerdyakov (constantly belittled and demeaned and dehumanized) use that to his advantage and claim a modicum of#control against the man who brought him into the world against his will to be subjugated!!#idk maybe its just me but it makes sense that narratives about the outsider struggling for control against those in power by any means#possible would resonate with lesbians#i feel like im not wording anything right but whatever#maybe one day ill write an actual post about it#anontalks#i too am a spiteful woman tormented by the narrative
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
yingxing fic except he's actually the most insufferable mf especially for a short lifer like who does he think he is ?????? bro thinks hes all that (and unfortunately he is all that) but like stfu my guy or else ill going to bash ur face against the furnace. he's actually going to drive u insane oml get him out
just dont think too much about the fact that he has a cute face. and hes got a stupidly nice body. and luscious hair. and a pretty smile. just ignore it.
#thinking out loud 🏵️#this came to me in a dream#ALSO FOR CONTEXT THE READER IS ALSO A BLACKSMITH SO LIKE. ITS RIVALS MWAH MWAH#god i have so many ideas for yingxing and dan feng and jing yuan and anything for hcq#ILL FIGURE SMTH OUT FOR JINGLIU WHEN I FIGURE HER PERSONALITY#baihengggg idk anything about her yet#stares into the sun#when im done w requests#i will be free#to write silly shit#also ignore how i didnt know how to spell luscious for the 15th time im actually dumb#i acknowledge. that this is renfeng coded#but like#fuck you idc imma be delulu#(NOT HATING U RENFENGERS BTW ILY)
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
so like. i may or may not have a SUUUUPER rough 1 ish k of terror fic written out currently...........
#it is by no means even CLOSE to anything finished#in fact it is more several random semi related scenes written in one document#but like they are words!!! that i wrote!!!!#and i actually think they dont sound half bad#i kiiiiiinda wanna share some but like idk if anyone would even be interested#i have very few terror followers im sure lol sooooo#mayhaps ill post a snip if anyone wants to see#mack writes#the terror
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
well. update for the quintenary stars folks.
my friend just passed away irl and I don't really know when I'll be able to write again. it might be a week. it might be a month. it might be six. I don't know and I wanted to give y'all a heads up that the next update will probably be delayed indefinitely. I love u guys and I appreciate all the support and engagement qs has gotten so far and I hope I'll be able to come back to it soon 💚🤍🖤
#i was actually writing when i got the call lol#im still in shock i think. it hasnt really sunk in yet. so i cant give y'all a real estimate on anything#but i just wanted to let y'all know#idk how active ill be on tumblr/discord either#from this point forward if u dm me or send me a message or something on either platform#and i dont respond for a bit its not personal i swear i just. need a minute.#i love u guys fr fr 💚🤍🖤#winter speaks#personal#quintenary stars series#tw death
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
what if i made a Homestuck AU where Sburb never happens and the world never gets destroyed, and the kids have to navigate growing up in the same houses they start in.
and what if I used this AU to help process my own weird feelings about coming of age as a homeschooled kid
I could call the AU "Homestuck (For Real This Time)" or something like that
#rhyme rambles#homestuck#rhyme feelings tag#it is so late. i cannot sleep. this idea suddenly hit my brain so im writing it down#1 AM#blegh#it is my belief that none of the kids are in public school and i shall never let go of that#yeah the whole world getting destroyed is bad. but what if instead nothing changed.#isn't there a horror in that?#anyways idk if ill actually make anything for this itll probably just be a thought experiment but.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it
#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something#but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized.#and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this-#-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace-#-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller#which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this#and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely#oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it-#-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart#so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it.#fun./sar#i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to#because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get-#-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of#its probably the resilience though#im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically#this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it#just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear#it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over.#i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts#this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement.#its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every-#-time achievement#what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past.#even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again#if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys i havent written since may (for killer's birthday) but stupid silly swapinverse has been on my mind for a little bit and i threw together this silly (he has a panic attack and throws up) little short draft 4 swapinverse horror!!
-
“hah… ah… oh god… no, no, nonono…”
he ran. sprinted through the forest like a frightened deer, his demeanor that of prey, although his previous actions aligned more of a predator. panting and shaking, his mind cycled through countless variations of how to react to what just happened, what he just did.
how should he react? how could he react? it was impossible to tell for him in the panicked state. and as the trees in snowdin slowly began to surround him (but weren't they always doing that?), paranoia couldn't run anymore. he was surrounded, he was blocked off, he couldn't escape. not from horrortale, not from snowdin, not from the dusty graveyard he had just left it, and not from the blood smeared across his mouth.
“no, i- what did, what did i do? paps, snowdin, even-undick, no, it-”
paranoia’s incoherent rambles brought his hands to wander across his face, tugging at the massive hole in his skull spanning majority of the left side of his head. picking at the chipped bone didn't help, it never did, but a nervous habit was unbreakable, and he was more than nervous in this moment. in fact, quite terrified. everything was terrifying. he was terrifying. and as the slightest hint of red blood touched his sleeve, the once red, now magenta eye quickly locked onto it, and he couldn't hold it back anymore.
“fuck- oh god, no, aliza-!”
falling to his knees, a disgustingly gorey mess of red, pink, and black spilled from his mouth. sounds of retching and hurling were all that filled the empty forest, and paranoia couldn't bear to look down and see the mess he’d made. the mess he’s caused. wasted food, he would've said. but that statement normally only applied to others. he never imagined using it on himself. choking on his spit and certainly not his blood, tears fell from his eye, joining the vomit and blood seeping into the snow. strange. paranoia didn't think he had enough magic to even shed tears anymore. just for the bare necessities. he managed to surprise even himself, after all this time.
but could it be could be considered surprise, or rather terror? he fit up to his name, certainly horrified at his own actions. forcing out as much of the grossness he could that he’d just consumed, paranoia couldn't help but look down at what he’d done.
red. a lot of red. too much red. he’d never been queasy before, never. he had to adapt to it, being the one to hunt down humans that ran or sneak up on those when times got desperate. there was no time or need to be queasy at what he even considered his job before. a duty he had to do.
but now, there was too much red. far too much red. and he didn't know why, although he totally knew, but paranoia couldn't stomach it. he just threw his guts out (shouldn't they be aliza’s guts, or no?), and here he was, wanting to throw up until his SOUL shattered. his SOUL cycled through those strange 4 shapes, unsure of which to settle on. he couldn't blame it. paranoia himself was unsure of what was even going on anymore. he wanted to run, but was frozen. he wanted to scream, but didn't know who at.
everything was contradicting. everything was going on, and not enough was given for paranoia to understand how to deal with it. and with a muttered curse, he flopped on his side onto the somehow dry snow, losing consciousness in the haze of fear now intermingled with his SOUL.
-
ik theres probably grammar mistakes i wrote this on my phone,,,, but like idk. had idea for a little moment in paranoia's lore and i sure as hell didn't wanna draw it so i wrote it as an easier media! god this is so much easier compared to drawing idk why i dont do this more often (because youre lazy silly!) anyways swapinverse silly i love swapinverse. i've only thrown up like never so i dont know if this works. also never had a panic attack (i think) and AGAIN i dont know if this is accurate but whatever i dont write to be good i write for expressing my ideas. like everything i do
#i might do another 4 savior and mania??? who knows#i feel like i cannot talk about the others in swapinverse unless i fully finish viceser and crash#and also thalia and melpomene are just too intertwined with multiverse lore that if#i make stuff about them it must be after i finish the swapinverse multiverse and lore and stuff#but mst are kinda seperated from that thing. none of the murder swap trio have anything to do with multiverse#so i can write about them just in their sole universes ans itll be ok#since ive already finished everything about them and their aus#aside from figuring out how theyll join the mv wifh the rest of the swapinverse fellas#i only had swapinverse on mind because i wanted to draw mst poly#i think thats the first time i've ever uttered that phrase. mstpoly. murder swap trio poly#damn...... i really should work on swapinverse more#this is ngl sooo not so ugh i feel like idk. could be cooler could be better#just that it feels kinda like word vomit. not really anything of substance#but ngl thats kinda just how i write sooo idk what i expected#i just get myself into the mindset and mind and write everything i think#my shitty form of method acting! 😇😇😇#guys i made a new friend are you proud of me. it wasn't in school tjo#it was in my art class. i feel like they dont use she/her but idk anything else so ill just stick to they from now#object show fan. also phighting whatever the fuck that is. like an alternate universe version of me#i really shouldnt say that when we've only been friends ish for 2 days. but like theyre kinda similar to me#i think? i dont know. ngl i havent even asked their name yet in case they have another they'd prefer#or pronouns or anything like that i just havent gotten a chance to do so#for some reason we talk like we've been friends for years which is really weird to me. is it just a them thing?#bc ive never spoken to someone like that so openly before its kinda weird ngl. i actually got to speak about my utmv interest which was coo#i think. idk they dont seem that interested which fair. but i sent a paragraph about the mtt and they said tldr and it made me feel ngl sad#because like.... idk..... i tried watching some of the object shows they recommended and they seemed to enjoy that#but then when i recommend underverse or talk about mtt they don't really match my enthusiasm.... which ok thats fair i dont mind that#but it does make me sad. whatever..... whatever ill deal with it. maybe ill keep watching some of these shows they recommended#so i can have something of interest that they like that i can bring up incase they get bored or me or something#tricule write
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
So news I have slight motivation to write which is weird because usually writing makes me have a literal breakdown but I'm too tired to write so it's unfortunate timing
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
genuine question, have you guys been liking (or even just reading) the posts where i explain what ive been doing/what i plan to do? or would you prefer i just kept it to "heres where im at" posts?
i wont be offended if yall dont like all the talking! theres a lot of it. if i really wanna explain something i will regardless (itll just be for me personally) but if its not interesting i wont explain every little thing im doing. and if it is maybe ill try and do it more (or at least. better. more polished)
#i have literally no idea what the vibes are with all the things i write#i tried to word both options w a positive tone bc this really isnt. supposed to be 'hey do u guys like me 👉👈' or anything#im just trying to figure if keeping you in the loop about specific fitting changes are interesting or like. you just wanna see that ive made#the bodice!!!! like i said. ill explain what i really want to either way but maybe i wont explain every single check in#up to u! the 3 people who interact w this blog i mean#(like i said. idk if yall actually even read it all. i know sometimes its a lot. those ones will probably stick around tbh#if im writing an obnoxious amount its probably bc i want to say it)#i post for me. but also i post to share it with other people who are passionate. so
2 notes
·
View notes