#but idk i thought this was funny. unfortunately recorded at the end lines of the vortst dialogue and not the cool bits.

[spaceistheplaceart]

the vortigaunt had a LOT of dialogue and it was VERY interesting so i just kept talking to him until it all ran out but the NPCs kept FUCKING INTERRUPTING ME when i was just trying to speak to my wonderful vort friend.

[novelist-becca]

TOH Fanfic recs! Part 1

(All of these people are my inspiration I stg)

Found family

Make my heart your home series by @tiredandjaded

First fic: Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and they both have a crisis over it. Mostly Luz. Second fic: post-YBOS, Luz tells Eda and Lilith of what happened during the rescue mission, and both Luz and Eda give Lilith a shovel talk. Third fic: Luz and Eda are both taking care of each other in the first seven days after coming home. Includes fun sibling bonding!

(Patiently awaiting the next chapter of the third installment!)

Literally anything by @hereforthehurts

The way they write emotions and hurt/comfort is seriously amazing. Never fails to make me cry, especially when it comes to sickfics and fics of Eda and Luz. (I recommend supporting them on Ko-Fi!)

You Are My Sunshine by @liesminelli

One of the first Owl House fics I ever read, and it's SO good! Luz has a night terror and Eda walks in on her freaking out, and it goes from there. The emotions of both characters are very well-written, and the ending is so sweet! I also recommend checking out their other works too!

It's The Least I Could Do by @witchesbeforewizardss

There aren't enough fics of Luz and Lilith bonding, and this is one of the BEST ones. Lilith needs more healthy relationships, and in my opinion, building an aunt-niece relationship with Luz is a great place to start! (next to making amends with Eda) Basically, Luz is feeling homesick, and before dinner, she allows Lilith to help her feel better.

Luz's Not So Great Luck and

A Friendly Beastly Surprise by @animerunner

The first fic has a large abundance of angsty scenarios, mostly AUs, all of which are wonderful to read. My personal favorite is the one where Luz is an orphan and she has a chronic illness, and well, you'll have to read to find out! The second one is canon compliant, and it's about Eda turning into the Owl Beast and treating Luz like an owlet, and Luz is just like "guess this is my life now". It's so cute!

Rainy Day Makeovers by @fallenflowersfromgrace

To summarize, There's boiling rain, and Luz convinces Eda to spend time with her giving each other makeovers. It's very cute, and I love it!

Some Honesty Before Breakfast by @pizzaboat

Eda notices Luz is acting unusual, and gets her to open up. It's in-character, and wonderfully executed.

Thank you for being in my life by @peridot-garcia

Episodes of The Owl House from Eda's perspective, and as of now, also Luz and Lilith's perspective. It's got wonderful found family scenarios, and so far the plot is pretty great!

Lighting up the Dark by The_Quoter

This is a very recent one, and I love it! It's post-Young Blood Old Souls, and Eda comes to terms with how much Luz means to her, while also helping her come out of a nightmare.

The Light Behind Your Eyes by ABirdinFlight

Post-Young Blood. Eda gives Lilith a shovel-talk (harsh but well-deserved) and has a heart-to-heart talk with Luz in her room.

Moonlit Masquerade: Replacement by Rohad

Similar to make my heart your home, Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and both of them have a crisis over it. (As expected!)

Bad Days by @drabbles-of-writing

Part of their Four Years AU, Luz has an episode, and Eda takes her home to help her calm down. It's very bittersweet and heartfelt.

Gratuitous Embellishments of Chicken Noodle Soup by Rulerofthecosmosandsnails

Luz almost drowns at the Knee, but her Owl Mom is there to help her get better, including making her soup! (Yeah, my fic Snow Day was inspired by this)

A Line Crossed by Clevinger

AU in which Luz dies by the spikes at the bridge, in front of Eda, who thankfully resurrects her, and as expected, Luz is having a hard time handling it. There's another work inspired by it called Too Much, Too Late by TheHonestyBird.

A nightmare and a hug by moreteaplease

Reeaaally hard to find since it doesn't have the relationship tag for Luz and Eda, but still, it's very good! Post-YBOS, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort, confessing that she misses her mom.

Sleepless Nights by @snail-watch

Similar to the one before this, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort. I loved the way the author wrote Eda's thoughts about Luz!

Mending Trust by @electricwalkman

Similar to The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and Luz tells her about the portal being destroyed, and gives her the mask piece. Eda comforts her, as well.

Night Owl and

The Bad Dream Club by @thedrunkenwerewolf / @wolfiethewriter

Eda has trouble sleeping, Luz notices, and Eda confessed that she's scared of hurting Luz as the beast. Luz of course, reassures her by telling her it won't happen. The second fic is the other way around, sorta. Luz has a nightmare and gets herself a drink to calm down, and Eda finds her.

Dreams of a Witch by TheDinosaurNerd

Eda talks to her younger self in her mindscape about her life as a wild witch. (In the end it turns out to be Luz in her lap.)

Griffon Flu by @serendipitouslyss

Another great sickfic! Luz gets the flu, or Griffon Flu as it's called in the Boiling Isles, but Eda and King are more than willing to help her get better.

Owlet by spotty8bee

Ah, the cursed AU that started it all. Only 2 chapters, but it's wonderfully heartbreaking and you really feel for Eda in the second half of chapter 1.

Observations of the Witchy Kind by JoLau

If you like platonic cuddling, you'll love this fic! Luz wants to learn about witch biology, but unfortunately Boscha burns the notebook that had her research, so she tries to rewrite her observations, and ends up catching Eda's attention.

I Need You, Please Don't Leave Me by rainbowpotato12

Luz is having bad thoughts, and worries that something bad could happen to Eda again, but Eda reassures her it won't.

This is Home by SpaghettieBabie

Luz has doubts about herself, and opens up to Eda about it, confessing that she likes her as her mother figure.

I Love the Found Family Trope! by @l-egionaire

Takes place after The Intruder. Eda thinks that Luz and King might leave her after knowing about the curse, and they tell her they would never do that.

Nightmare by OneandOnlyOllie

Another nightmare fic! Eda comforts Luz after a nightmare. Lilith hears the two, and wants to make things right with Luz.

It was not, in fact, a day out by @pizzaboat

Post-YBOS. Eda turns into the Owl Beast, tries to cuddle Luz, Lilith and King in her nest, and they have to come up with a working scheme to turn her back. Basically The Intruder if Lilith was there.

A broken brain by @pizzaboat

I can relate to this one a lot (except my adhd is diagnosed). Luz has trouble focusing on homework, and doesn't know why, and tells Eda she thinks she's going crazy, but Eda tells her she's not, and that Lilith had a similar problem.

What big claws (to protect you with my dear) by @ito-itonomen

AU where Luz is 10 and Eda takes her in, and both of them have doubts about themselves. Chapter 2 is especially good.

Unexpected Hope by @sepublic

Luz talks to Lilith about how she had (surprisingly) inspired her.

Lilith and Eda

Mistakes Might Have Been Made by @fallenflowersfromgrace

WARNING: you will definitely cry in the second chapter!

An AU in which Lilith split the curse with Eda the first time she transformed. Of course, by the time she reveals that she cursed her, it doesn't go well. (Eda's reaction hurts, but it's in character) and the pain in chapter 2 is just…AGONY AND ITS SO GOOD!

Walk Through the Storm, I Would by @lilithswxfe

Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal thoughts in this fic.

Lilith tries to hurt herself while in a bad state, but Eda catches her and comforts her.

Source Decay series by @tiredandjaded

Trigger warning for underage drinking in the second fic.

Two pre-canon fics about Lilith and Eda, the first fic portraying Eda as trans and how she's feeling about her name, and how Lilith helps her. The second one is sadder, it's after the curse and Eda isn't taking Lilith coming home late very well, leading to some…not-so-great coping mechanisms.

Rabbit Heart by radiantstaber

It has found family Owl Mom moments, but then it is mostly about Lilith and Eda rebuilding their relationship, with Luz trying her best to encourage both of them. (The description is very funny, describing the Owl House as a get along shirt.)

The Cafeteria Incident by @electricwalkman

Remember that page from Eda's record about Eda summoning abominations because somebody stole Lilith's lunch money? This is based on that, and it's SO GOOD!

Runaway Raven by @witchesbeforewizardss

Trigger warning for graphic injuries

In both Lilith thinks she doesn't belong with her family in the Owl House, and tries to "punish" herself. Eda convinces her that it's not worth it and she just wants her sister back.

The Long Night by @serendipitouslyss

Post-YBOS, just like The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and she and Lilith have a long talk. (Though she's not as harsh.)

A Midnight Talk by @elizabethemerald

Lilith sees Luz having a nightmare, and calms her down for a little bit (via stroking her hair). Eda sees her, and the two have a talk.

I Need a Moment to Quiet This Pain by @come-unhinged

Moments in Eda's life and how she dealt with her curse.

Part 2 might have Lumity idk

[twonderland]

☆*:.｡ NRC HAS A MAID CAFE ?!? .｡.:*☆

Note: sooo this is my first writing ! Omg I’m so nervous I have never written for any fandom before but I wish this goes well 🙏🏻😂 anyway, hope y’all like it and if you have any thoughts about it pls comment I would really appreciate it ☺️💖💖

Summary: NRC was organizing a school festival to attract new students and also to let the guys have a day of fun and chill. However the dorm leaders were out of ideas while deciding what activities they were gonna have, until you decided to talk about some options of what your school used to do in this kind of events (before coming to twisted wonderland), most of those activities were really alike to what NRC already had, except one thing ...

- when you mentioned that in your “dimension” there was different options that could be introduced in NRC at the festival he was actually pretty interested. Obviously he would have to make some changes so that “activities” could fit in Heartslabyul rules but, he never thought that he could have the opportunity to see you in such an ... outfit.

- Who does he think he can fool ? He’s a blushing mess and can’t even look at you in the face. How can he ? The moment you got out of your room with that white coping, that really short skirt, and oh god the stockings

- You look so cute and obedient and hfkogkebdiej

- The plan was simple, you were a “maid” and the boys attending the clients at your side were butlers, easy ! Except from the part of talking to you

- He’s angry because he can’t believe that such an outfit has this power over him and he thinks “god Riddle get yourself together and just talk to her about the menu” but somehow you think he’s angry for some strange reason since he tends to get all red face when he is angry (poor bean he’s trying his best to not collapse)

- HE’S A GENTLEMAN ! HE DIDNT HAVE SUCH A HARD UPBRINGING FOR NOTHING !! he goes with a straight face to your direction and then .... “(y/n) ! Have you learn your lines ?! Customers need the best of attention from this establishment !!” (Riddle this is just a classroom turned into a maid cafe, chill)

- “Ah sure Riddle-senpai, just look *you clear your throat* Welcome home master !!”

- Riddle.exe has stopped responding

- what ? A maid cafe ? Isn’t it just like the rest of the maids at his palace in Afterglow Savana ? He’s used to being attended by this kind of servitude at his homeland but he had never seen Classic or French (I leave that to your imagination ☺️) maid style

- He thinks “ohoho this can be quit interesting” and has that smug smirk in his face, OF COURSE he’s gonna take this opportunity to tease you

- However after he sees you in that cute and tempting outfit, for a little moment (just a little moment) he doesn’t want to admit it he goes shy, stops just a moment to admire you from head to toe in your outfit, you go like “what? “ and then he just shrugs it out just in time before you notice “hmph are you some kind of panda ?”

- Seems like he doesn’t care but actually you never get out of his view, he drinks his woman respect juice every morning but not the rest of the students

- If he sees that some idiot gets a little too close to you he may roar from across the cafe and shoot some killing glares to those idiots and problem solved

- Don’t get it wrong, he’s still Leona and may slide the tip of his tail under your skirt a little ... just a little 😏

- He listens to all your descriptions of the activity of the maid cafe, takes notes and adds some good ideas so everything’s on point

- He’s pretty chill the majority of the time while preparing everything, he even helped you to practice your lines so you could attend customers with the best training !

- Until ... he saw you in character. It was kind of a self goal since he told you to not get out of character when you wear your uniform, how fool and unfortunate (lucky) soul he was

- “Ashengrotto- sama ? I had some doubts about the menu ...” “yes ? (Y/...n)”

- his glasses break

- Azul.exe has stopped responding x2

- His mind can’t process all the things that are going on, you , on a cute really really short skirt, calling him “sama” with your innocent voice, and OH LOOK AT THAT

- THIGHTS

- he didn’t know he had a thing for thights until this day

- Tries to solve all your doubts without stuttering but fails miserably

- Thinks really seriously in a way to make you sign a contract where you accept to wear that outfit whenever you visit octavinelle (azul that’s practically impossible but ok try 😂)

- OMG A MAID CAFE ?! It’s foreign and interesting !! This guy is all in after you finish to talk about your idea

- Kalim is also used to being all pampered and having hundreds of people attending him at all times so he’s really curious about what is the difference between what he knows and what you know

- You tell him that is nothing too awesome, but is more to have fun in getting into character of “master and servant” BUT NOTHING IS BORING IF YOU ARE IN IT he tells you that you don’t need to worry and he just wants to participate in the experience

- He doesn’t assist as a butler but like a customer, and the night before the event he can’t sleep from the excitement, “Jamil, how do you think is a maid ?” “Idk Kalim sleep now” “ne~ ne~ Jamil do you think that (y/n) will call me master? tehehe” “OMG KALIM ENOUGH” poor Jamil he also couldn’t get enough sleep that night

- He’s one of the first clients to arrive and oh god ... when he finds you. He doesn’t know what is it with that uniform that it makes you look ADORABLE AND BEYOND also ... kind of .... ?? (Sexy kalim the word you look for is sexy) he just doesn’t know how to react the very first seconds but doesn’t last long until

- “Kalim-sama ! Welcome back, we are so enlightened to see you again”

- What is this ? Why is he feeling funny things in his stomach, every time he’s called like that in his palace it doesn’t happen anything, is something of everyday but now...

- “.... kalim-sama ?” “AH ! Sorry sorry ! Haha I zoned out , say ... could you say that again ? It was so fun !” “Uh.. hu, of course, if that’s my master’s wish !! ☺️” (HAPPY BOY HAPPY BOY HAPPY BOY)

- He probably is inside the maid cafe for very long time just to hear you every time you come around

- “Is everything alright master ? Would you like something else ?” “YES ! One more parfait please !! “ meanwhile Jamil is like “KALIM STOP, YOU HAVE ALREADY ORDERED 30 PARFAITS !!!, what are we going to do with all of this ?!”

- “the potato ? As a servant ? That’s hilarious” Vil is aware of all the maid thing since where he comes from wealthy families tend to have this kind of employees in their mansions

- NEVERTHELESS he can’t have a girl/boy in NRC dressed as a maid and you NOT 👏🏻 BEING 👏🏻 ON 👏🏻 POINT

- DRESS ! Check HIGH HEELS ! check STOCKINGS ! Check .... he goes on and on

- “Vil-senpai, I’m really grateful that you have taken your time to help me but don’t you think that your dorm also needs help-?” “SHUT UP GRACELESS POTATO we are not getting out this classroom until you learn how to move graciously in those high heels between tables while holding the tray , NOW LETS START AGAIN”

- At the end of the day somehow you have managed to make him happy, the next day you will show all your effort to Vil !

- He comes with Rook, it seems that he’s looking for you with his eyes but when you look back at him you never expect to receive such a gentle and proud look

- “Vil/senpa- ! I mean ... “Vil-sama !! Welcome ☺️” you say nervous yet excited to see him there. “Good enough, it looks like even dirty potatoes can turn into princess” (you are like “wait I’m the maid here, not a princess 😅”)

- Vil leans forward and puts a string of hair behind you ear and says in a low voice so only you can hear “a really pretty potato indeed”

- He enters the maid cafe and leaves you blushing in the entrance

- “Are we gonna treat ourselves or what potato ?! “ “ ah ! I’m so sorry master !!”

- Vil has a satisfied smile

- He is so grateful that every time he attends councils is via LIVE ‘cause the moment you said “maid cafe” he spilled the beverage he was drinking

- “m-m-m-mAID CAFÉ ?!” He can’t believe this is happening, for some seconds he can feel a creepy smile appearing in his face until ...

- “But how am I going to go to the cafe ?, I can have Ortho going there but knowing him he will focus the camera on desserts and not in (y/n) costume ... NOT THAT IM A CREEP OR SOMETHING Ijustwanttoseearealmaidinaction well is not that she’s/he’s “real” per say but-“

- Ortho is listening to all his mumbling from back his seat

- “Onii-chan 😊”

- “Ah... what is it Ortho ?”

- “Just go 😠”

- It took A LOT from his little brother to convince him to go and look for you

- The day of the festival it was CROWDED as hell and he was sooo grateful that the classroom where you were having the cafe had a window that had a view to one of the gardens

- He was peeking all the movement from the window looking for you, but some minutes passed and he started thinking (what am I thinking ? Obviously she’s not gonna see me from here ... but entering is NOT an option either ... maybe I just should go-) “Iidia-San?”

- You scared the crap out of him, he was lost in thought but thanks to that he didn’t go

- “Ah! Sorry sorry, Um ... (you remember your character) “iidia-sama, is something the matter ? Why are you out there ?”

- Perhaps Zeus had pity on his soul. You look SO CUTE SO ADORABLE SO SEXY-

- “Uh.... no, it’s just ... there’s a lot of noise inside” you know about his anxiety and you tell him “well, doesn’t my master want something ? I can bring him anything he desires to this window if Iidia-sama wishes”

- He just had a nosebleed

- “I-Iidia- sama ?!” “Ah ! Sorry .... Um yeah o-one crepe... p-please”

- He goes back to Ignihyde with a delicious crepe and a memory of you calling him master... but wait a sec...

- “WHY DIDNT I BROUGHT A CAMERA?!?!?!?!” “I ALSO COULD HAVE RECORDED HER/HIS VOICE DAMN IT!!!!”

- maid ... cafe ? This is interesting

- He was processing everything, from the concept and your explanation to all of the reactions that caused in the guys

- (Why were they so shocked ? Well I guess I will have to find out)

- He’s royalty and everyone calls him “sama” all the time, well except from Lilia, so he thinks that a bunch of butlers calling him that again isn’t any different ... but you 🤔

- How intriguing, you always call him “senpai” or “san” ... now this have caught his attention

- His dorm was organizing everything quite well and as usual Diasomnia had really disciplined members so his presence wasn’t really that necessary so he went to Lilia and asked him about this “maid cafes”

- Lilia knew about the maids but also didn’t understand the concept of mixing maids and cafes, but Lilia being the little devil he was he said some ... funny information that could intrigue Malleus

- “They are humans, but just like pixies they charm every man when they see them” “charm them ? But (y/n) is human ... how can she/he charm anyone ?” “Hehehe you will understand when you see her/him”

- The day arrived, and oh yeah, Lilia was right, he was expecting you to be little and with wings, leaving pixie dust behind but no ... it was just you with a strange yet cute little skirt and fluffy sleeves... your eyes looked at him and your little cheeks tainted a light shade of pink ... (what is this ? I can’t stop looking at her/him) he was in daze

- “Umm .... Malleus-sama ?”

- “Uh .... I’m sorry, so this is a maid ... you are quite powerful”

- “ uh.. hu” you just said your lines when you saw him but he didn’t seem to have listened to you so you decide to repeat them

- “Welcome back Malleus- sama ! We are so enlightened to receive you !!”

- Again .... he’s dazed , but this time he did hear you, so acting a little weird he enters the cafe, you handle him the menu and explain the recommendations

- You are so nervous trying to remember all your lines that you don’t notice it but Malleus is admiring everything about you with loving eyes

- You take his order and go to the kitchen (he honestly doesn’t know what the hell he just ordered since he isn’t familiar with the dishes but anyway)

- Maybe he doesn’t notice himself but he’s looking at you everywhere you go with a little smile on his face

- “Maybe (y/n) has magic after all”

[queenofthesilverdollar]

can you rank kkg characters from your most liked to least??? (you can include kkg twin too :3)

this is like a dream come true for me, thank you ilu. thank u especially for including twin because i will die if i can't talk about juraku

first is definitely everyone's girl mary saotome. she's a natural first choice for me because she's the character from whom we see the most significant growth by virtue of being a primary character in two series. also she's always so sweaty, i relate unfortunately. also also i've noticed that she has a really big heart, i think she's a really really good character

next up of course is ririka, the other character who gets a lot of growth. kkg is tough because the characters have no known interests outside gambling so we can't see her developing interests or interacting with the world but i like her dynamic with mary, who encourages her to make her own decisions but refuses to let her back down without thinking about it first.

sachiko my beloved...my most toxic trait is that i love really really mean and aggressive women. much like how she wants to see mary dangle by her last thread or whatever, i want to see sachiko go home to a loving family and enjoy herself. i really don't think she's as evil as people make her out to be, and i definitely think the live action series really made being evil her main character point, which like it is but i personally thought it was really really amplified. also did you notice how the only one who was gay in the whole series was her??? the only one who admitted that she really liked mary was her??? even mikura was toned down smh...(am azon pr ime is homophobic)

(that being said, she is just terrible, it can't be denied. like she's the literal worst, kirari doesn't even come close imo)

sakura...i think it's perfectly reasonable to say she's going through some sort of awakening, when mary tells aoi to call off their engagement if he loses she literally makes this face🥺 like 🥺 you're doing this for me??? she's an overlooked member of mary's little whatever!!! it's not even a shipping thing she like looks at mary like she's the epitome of strength.

also she's a tad dramatic and i love how she tries so hard not to but always ends up playing into whatever Sachiko throws at her...we love dumb bitches here💙

tsuzura of course, she also has a lot of growth but also she's just so sweet and it's not played as a joke or anything, she's just the sole good person in the series.

yukimi...i would actually rank her in a league if her own. she's not a voluptuous side character with ulterior motives, she doesn't stand out, she's just some nerd who got dragged along for the ride and i love her for that.

Kirari...seventh in line but that's high praise considering how much i like all these other gals. i just think she's really cool lol

yumeko... if this was 10 years ago i would have been obsessed with her. long black hair, exciting, interesting, pretty, really cool...but now i'm older and appreciate the smaller things, like character development. still adore her tho!

runa. she's up to something and i love her for that. we're both women who consume lollipops all day and ensure there's fairness in society even when people are just doing the most fucked up shit outside our presences.

sayaka. i absolutely despise obsessive characters but i think sayaka is really funny sometimes so that tips the scale in her favor a little.

i will put on the record that mikura is a victim of manipulation and is a slightly different case (though i still hate her and she's unranked but assume she's at the bottom of the list lmao).

yumemi 🤩

if i can be totally honest with you... i've been into kaede lately and i don't know why. like i read the part in the manga where he asks yumeko to gamble with him and thought "y'know, he's not that bad." (he is that bad I'm just surrounded by lawyers every day)

we got midari coming in close to last...idk something about her just irks me. i don't read her spinoff or whatever but i was hoping when she appeared in twin it would be different but it wasn't even though she was a lot different.

yuriko is next, i'm not saying anything else.

sumeragi is our least favorite girl. the nail thing is weird but also she's just a really really annoying character. she's got all her eggs in yumeko's basket despite yumeko telling her that she's not necessarily interested in becoming president and she gets upset when things don't go in yumeko's favor. like girl best stop treating mary like that because i really think she's going to win and her dumbass/big heart self would definitely find a spot for you because you would definitely annoy her to the point of breaking.

last is ryota, on trend for me but also he's just a boring character. boring design, boring personality, always trying to reel people in, no thnx💙

there's a lot of others i just don't care enough to rank lol. i will put out there that kurumi kurume is an icon whom i love but can't seem to place on this list lol

i don't have an opinion on most of the cousins but I'll rank the three i have feelings about:

-yumi. every time i see her it brightens my day. i guess i kind of have to put terano up here too because everything she does she does so they can be equals and i really respect that.

-ibara. i don't know, there's just something about him i like

miyo. it doesn't matter that it's mary she's always going after...she's just such an unlikeable character. like they all are but she's the worst.

[chicago-geniza]

well i intended to go for a nice evening walk, ended up having a panic attack, ordering a couple of cocktails at the bougie bar, joining a jam session with a bunch of old hippies on the logan green (one of them gave me a handpainted wooden medallion which seems to be carved out of tree bark, strung on a length of yarn???), met a crustpunk train-hopping dude in town for the month (& his dog, in a leather-studded harness) who's lived in 45/50 states & a 44 yr old guy everyone called "the wizard" wearing a tattered, patch-covered robe who shares most of my parents' conspiracy theories & considers himself a latter-day prophet, he bought us sorbet & ice cream, wound up hanging out with them & staying up all night at their indescribably eclectic, cluttered, blood-spattered (!!!) apartment, belonging to 44 yr old guy's art curator father & decorated accordingly, smoking m*th & listening to music & talking (or rather listening to them rant/rave/recount stories from their incredibly wild lives), i gave them advice on applying for unemployment & medicaid & how to appear compliant enough w/ carceral psychiatric intervention so they won't section you without actually submitting to forced medication or institutionalization, especially if they assign you a case worker & do regular "wellness checks." also how to pass off certain aspects of behavioral dysregulation as executive dysfunction, get them to pay for an adhd evaluation, get an adderall IR scrip, sell the 30 mg pills (cite body weight, high doses of other psych meds as reason for higher dose; look sincere; play to systemic biases toward cis white men, unfortunately), & use the cash to buy m*th, if they'd prefer to keep doing that. you can also pass positive psychotic symptoms--agitation etc.--off as severe anxiety, especially if you have a history of trauma, & they will give you benzodiazepines. it is in their best interest to keep you docile, i.e. tranquilized, particularly if your past convictions & involuntary institutionalizations revolve around a pattern of aggressive behavior, & that's On The Record/there's a paper trail. (e.g. one dude got arrested trying to keep cars away from an injured bird on the road, some genre of raptor i think (???) by threatening them with a shopping cart, not hitting them, but like, running at them as if to collide then feinting at the last minute so they'd swerve out of the way. not the safest or most effective maneuver, lotta reckless endangerment, but the motivation was admirable. probably put the fear of god into some drivers, though. he doesn't seem to have, like, impulse control.) it's a lot easier & you have fewer run-ins with the cops if you game the system & appear cooperative. they gave me this coat, which "just showed up in their apartment one day," like i did. 44 yr old guy walked me back to apartment, stole a street sign & tore down a real estate sign en route, lori lightfoot did indeed take down the pride flag in front of her house on july 1st & replace it with an appropriately patriotic american flag, i walked past the idling plainclothes cop car & another marked police vehicle with their Mayoral Guarding Detail inside at like 4.30 am smoking a menthol cigarette (not inhaling), high on m*th, draped in a neon anime jacket, in the company of a visibly insane, unshaven & unshorn middle-aged man in a technicolor patchwork trenchcoat, holding a lit cigarette in one hand & an upside-down traffic cone in the other, which he was using as an ad hoc amplifier for a noise track playing on my phone. he was also carrying the stolen real estate banner &, inexplicably, a stack of mail. i gave him my old backup phone (no SIM card & doesn't hold a charge long, ancient, but still works), since neither he nor the other dude have phones (cops took them), also one hybrid edible for each of them, as a thanks for the m*th & the kindness. their hearts are in the right place but they have some fucked-up beliefs about "reverse racism" being real, while also saying in the same breath that you can tell our country is irredeemable by the way it continues to

treat black people. we were discussing medical weed for seizures on medicaid & 44 yr old guy mentioned one of his close friends, a black epileptic woman, whose seizures were frequent & severe enough they prevented her from working. then he added, in apparent bemusement, they she hadn't spoken to him in some time, & he wondered why. a little while later he relayed their last conversation & i was like "my dude, i can say with 100% certainty she is not talking to you because you said some *appallingly*, jaw-droppingly racist shit & did not even realize it was racist." then i, comma, a white person, explained to this man that he literally thought of their exchange as, like, an abstract argument over insignificant ideas, a theoretical exercise, & therefore considered it simply a smug gotcha to "counter" hotep theories about egyptian origin by claiming that "if that's true, american slavery & the oppression of black people in america are divine retribution for the enslavement of the jews in ancient egypt, an eye for an eye & a deserved punishment." like, first of all, what the actual fuck, if i were that woman i would also never speak to you again, second of all there's the collapse of historical time & mythical time, history & exegesis, an assumption that rests on spurious claims of biblical literalism (zionist colonization logic, btw! him: what's exegesis? what's zionism? me: never mind, not the point. exegesis is the interpretation of religious texts in a religious CONtext, in this case what you would likely call the hebrew bible.)--but most importantly it is 100% irrelevant to this discussion whether or not black americans are Actually Factually descendended from ancient egypt! you just told this woman to her face that the ancestry she claims, of which she's proud, is the reason & justification for SLAVERY & BLACK SUFFERING--not only that, but that if it WERE true, than black people would DESRVE to suffer, by DIVINE DECREE. you are trying to force her to abdicate her claim on this heritage by putting her in a position where she'd be forced to concede complicity in her people's historical & present-day persecution, oppression, & essentially the existence of structural racism. & using The Figural Jew as a rhetorical cudgel to bludgeon her into this corner. what a despicable thing to say. like, he hadn't considered it from her perspective at all, & once he groked why the comment itself was, like, unforgivable (idk, maybe she's more forgiving; she has a virtue-name), i started socratic-method-ing him through why it was particularly unforgivable for *him* to say to *her*--the individual is not responsible for the systems from they benefit, but they are imbricated in them, they are implicated when they actively perpetuate & uphold them, even with speech acts. & finally gave the same "there is no such thing as reverse racism because racism is not an individual act, it is an institutional, systemic phenomenon, & it is an ideology, one which individual acts can bear out or be in accordance with, & to which individuals can subscribe (this bearing it out in their behavior, in their institutional roles, in their interpersonal interactions--here i gave & solicited examples of each) or be subject (also gave & solicited examples). m*th makes me very good at Explaining clearly & he was surprisingly receptive--like, it was astonishing that it had not occurred to him??? but it hadn't, the same way it hadn't occurred to my mother, & she interpreted it as "reverse racist" when their next-door neighbor called her the "white devil" for disputing their property line, & i had to be like "ok but if you called in a random third party to mediate in lily-white [city], oregon, where white supremacists openly drive down the street in pickup trucks with swastika armbands, whose side do you think they would take, statistically speaking, in your property dispute. that's why racism is systemic & institutional, & your rude neighbor calling you a name over a disagreement does not constitute 'reverse racism,' because 'reverse racism' by definition cannot

exist." now this dude wants to like, read books, so i gotta get him some entry-level Intro To Racism primers??? how did i end up here, but better me than his black epileptic (ex-)friend, i guess??? jesus christ. both of these guys have the most chaotic, reactionary politics in a potpourri with these deep commitments to abolition & mutual aid & a kind of proto-anarchist consciousness, none of which would be called by those names, but all of which is borne out in practice & in the politics of everyday life. they remind me a LOT of my parents. i'm loath to imagine how they'd internalize my stepdad's rambling, street-preacher-style libertarian lectures. probably go out & buy guns & invest in gold on the stock market & double down on the conviction that free speech is being curtailed & individual rights are in jeopardy because you can no longer unleash a barrage of harassment against some guy on the street because you think he looked at you funny. these claustrophobic convictions, like the space to express oneself is getting smaller & smaller every day, *other people* are taking it away from you, suffocating you on all sides with their offense demanding your silence, they are *making* the walls close in--when in fact it's more like a holodeck. you're a member of the Hegemonic Group, afforded the privilege of the default, so you don't question the vast verdant expanse that is your domain--ah, Free Speech, the sun never sets on the empire of ~uncensored expression, you can say whatever you want whenever you want without facing consequences because you control all the organs that mete out consequences & you have also determined that those groups who might be adversely affected by your words--emotionally OR materially--are not, well...of consequence. but of course the vast verdant domain is an illusion, photons & forcefields, held together by the all-encompassing TOTALITY of the dominant group's hegemony, power, etc. once that power begins to redistribute throughout the system--however unevenly, however incrementally, however slowly--as even the smallest pieces are appropriated by those deemed inconsequential, who have endured years of systemic, material, institutional violence that allowed the dominant group to become dominant & retain its dominant position--once those 'inconsequential' groups speak up & say "actually, these words bear an indelible imprint of the violence enacted upon us, these words are the legacy of that violence, these words are a tacit endorsement of the ideology behind that violence, which classifies us as subhuman, & even if *you* can't hear those echoes, the words broadcast on two historical frequencies, so now that we're able to broadcast on a frequency *you* can hear, we request you find other language, & consider the implications of the words you've been using for years." well--once The Subaltern Speaks, the dominant group loses its 'innocence,' & becomes aware the vast verdant expanse of language is an illusion of infinite space, aware of the four holodeck walls pressing in behind the simulacrum of the horizon, & suddenly "what one can say without negative consequences"--largely social, sometimes, rarely, if social media goes viral, professional--feels much more claustrophobic. so they get angry. & some of them are just bigots, obviously, but some of them--like my parents, &, even, this weirdly well-intentioned m*thhead who said one of the most shockingly racist things i've heard in my life & *honestly didn't understand why it was racist*, is really riled up about free speech & individual rights, hates the government, hates "FANG" (facebook amazon netflix google) & has a bunch of dystopian conspiracy theories about data harvesting & personal information that only miss the mark in that they get too nefariously biopolitical (billionaires want to put microchips in everybody for surveillance to monitor our movements & sell us more stuff; they don't need to, they already use our phone location & browsing habits to generate the algorithm & sell the information to ad companies lol, it's digital& cast a

single illuminati figure in the role of comic book villain, controlling the operation behind the scenes like an evil puppetmaster (classic conspiracy fare; again, we gotta take that energy, that suspicion, the understanding that they are being taken advantage of & tricked, the idea that power & capital & resources are concentrated among a very small number of people, however it's not an individual wealthy villain with a desire for world domination who wants to turn Free Americans into microchipped drones, it's a *class* of people--or rather several classes, but *who those people are as individuals does not matter*. if you guillotined bill gates, another billionaire would take his place. bill gates qua bill gates is not the problem. it is classes of people who control the means of production & own property & profit enormously from exploiting the labor of a desperate, rapidly increasing underclass, i.e. from the system as it is. therefore it is in their interest to maintain the status quo, because it serves them. 'the rich get richer, the poor get poorer.' the middle class gradually ceases to exist. if you want to compound it by race, consider the GI bill as an example - you learn about it as the leg up that enabled thousands of WWII vets to buy houses, enabling them to enter the middle class. hundreds of thousands of third-gen middle class white americans still reap the structural, socioeconomic benefits of their grandparents' initial upward mobility, including,, very tangibly, those selfsame houses, which can be inherited & then rented out as a second property if the children or grandchildren accrue enough money to buy their own properties. but only about 100 black vets got approved for homeownership loans, despite the staggering numbers of black soldiers who enlisted & applied through the GI bill. anyway! the impulses are there, & they're only being funneled into conspiracy thinking because that makes intuitive sense on a narrative level. these guys have a high school education; so does my stepdad. their reading habits are...eclectic, sporadic, pretty much dictated by occasional recommendations & like, little free libraries around the neighborhood. it's both interesting & frustrating to see like - hey, here are these people, we agree on a lot of things, they're earnest & open & want to learn & would give their neighbor the shirt off their backs as a matter of principle. they'd give a *stranger* the shirt off their backs; they'd share whatever they had. even what chores there are in their collective--they live with two other guys--(dumpster diving, walking the dog, tidying up the apartment) are allocated by ability & inclination. they made advance plans to look after the dog & their roommate with War PTSD on the 4th of july if the fireworks upset them, jokingly called the dog an emotional support animal. you give them the tools, the reading, talk to them like normal people with a stake in society--like, imagine a society that would have a stake in people like you instead of criminalizing you & consigning you to the margins! that's already *political imagination* because anyone who occupies a marginalized position will have their existence politicized, whether they want this or not, so better to become a self-aware, self-reflexive political subject, no?--talk *with* them because tbh i am them, i'm just better at situational masking & also i am very very afraid of cops so i only damage property in groups during planned political actions (not spontaneously, because i feel a flash of rage at my neighborhood gentrifying, & simply do not have a superego, so i tear down the real estate sign for the fancy new apartment complex in a fit of pique, because in this house we believe that spontaneity can & should be developed into class consciousness, again, the seeds of which are there in the initial trigger for the spontaneous reaction, i.e. anger at gentrification. not opposed to a little direct action, but they're just gonna put up a new sign tomorrow, it doesn't advance your agenda or hinder the gentrifiers' progress. now, if

you sabotaged the construction site for the new apartment buildings & painted a few potent symbols + graffiti'd a pithy, written statement expressing your opposition to gentrification generally & these apartments specifically? in a prominent place, large font, eye level, visible & legible from oh, a block away? maybe as a member of a collective, your neighbors, perhaps? & you could sign it "[neighborhood] or [block] residents" to pack more of a punch, the power of a crowd speaking in unison to say "not OUR home, you predatory developers"? that's no longer spontaneous, impulsive, affective violence, & it's also no longer an individual--acting alone leaves you vulnerable. again--i didn't just *intuit* that he tore the sign down because he was mad about gentrification, i asked, in a genuinely curious tone, not at all accusatory, no hint of reprimand or censure, just...interested, "why did you do that?" & he was like "it made me fucking mad." & i was like "what about it made you mad? the apartments? how come?" & he thought about it for a minute & explained. i'm not sure *he* necessarily made the conscious connection until prompted. idk, i know people talk a lot about the fact that breitbart & drudge report are free while NYT & "all the news fit to print" is paywalled, & q-pilled covid hoax sites are free while "reputable" pandemic coverage & public health guidelines & explanations of mRNA vaccines for a lay audience are paywalled & that's true but also We Live In A Society & if you talk to the wingnuts who AREN'T that way because of any far-right ideology, a lot of them are just...autodidacts without much formal education but a lot of raw intelligence that leads to analyzing The Big Picture & trying to deduce a pattern, find a framework that explains why the world is the way it is, profoundly frustrated, deeply aware of American society's, universalized & figured as the world's, exceptional unfairness & cruelty, & *that can be redirected* with reading, discussion, prompting critical thought, introducing community connections, & perhaps most importantly for this genre of person, getting them to see patterns at work in terms of systems & structures rather than individuals, letting go of American individualism's explanatory power & belief in its liberatory potential (see: the sort of ad hoc libertarianism that goes hand-in-glove with much conspiracy thinking, both stemming from 1) mistrusting the government, & 2) ultimate freedom of the individual as the most sacred value, therefore it is what all enemies want to take away), outlining positive, actionable goals rather than just ambient suspicion & anger at authority, & figuring out how those goals can be accomplished more effectively by an organized collective (but this will ultimately benefit the individual). If the world isn't run by a shadowy cabal, if you begin to understand the structures responsible & how they manifest even on the scale of your block (e.g.!!! predatory developers buying up properties during a pandemic, tearing down affordable housing to build expensive condos on the lot, or giving old buildings a "spit and polish" so they can double the rent, pricing all the current residents out, not to mention all the little local businesses, almost all mexican & run by the mexican families who live here, that give our block its culture & will get pushed out by boutique coffee shops & the like, catering to a more affluent & almost certainly whiter clientele)--you can, in fact, change the world, something both of them repeatedly referred to as their purpose on earth. it may not be as a maverick figure, one against an army, but strength in numbers is an aphorism for a reason.

anyway! thse guys were also really weird about jews, in the philosemitic way conspiracy theorists of a certain stripe often are. the itinerant vagabond guy gave me one of his drawings; it's really lovely. i'm going to give them "are prisons obsolete?" & "the wretched of the earth" & some david graeber. 44 yr old guy has this idea that society is atomized & people aren't connected to each other & have lost the willingness or the ability to communicate with each other, also that the overreach of authority has driven some people to violence, & that makes the world feel unsafe to everyone else. he feels guilty because he is acutely aware that language, when wielded adroitly & intentionally, always has the capacity to manipulate; he is afraid of succumbing to the temptation, because he senses the coercive power of language within himself. the other guy was mostly quiet but said 44 yr old guy is one of the best friends he's ever had. he thinks animals are able to sense emotions and to heal, & he thinks they can mediate between people who have become too isolated, who have forgotten humans' innate ability to forge connections, approach others as social creatures seeking to bond instead of mistrustful, apprehensive, rejecting overtures of friendship because they expect subterfuge, or propriety has evolved to deem such overtures inappropriate outside of strictly delineated, artificially orchestrated contexts. deviation from the norm is not permitted. & back again to policing. they have an idea called "the omega family," omega for the end, a group of like-minded people who come together, who encounter each other serendipitously (predicted through auspicious auguries & recognized on sight through a constellation of signs & wonders, because of course we are all psychotic here, it was nice to just be psychotic & discuss these things like they were normal lol), & serve as catalysts to each other's "personal truth." anyway this is why i don't go out when i'm crazy, i always end up in situations like this, see also: the last time i did m*th, in a pizza hut bathroom in tallinn with an art student from glascow named muhammad ali (he went by ali), the son of white muslim converts--we thought it was c*ke but it got lost in translation & that's how i figured out i had adhd. later i got [redacted] by a filmmaker from kazan & he gave me his business card afterward for some reason, which was extremely funny. thankfully these dudes were better behaved. one of them even gave a speech about how men shouldn't rape people??? & also how our society shouldn't construct women as universal victims because in doing so it makes victimhood almost compulsory & shoehorns women into a victim role as part & parcel of womanhood? i was like yes my dude you are almost there, read the essay "abject feminism." (i did not tell them i was trans bc i wasn't sure how that would shake down, to be honest; couldn't get a read on it. did tell them i was gay & they respected it, though one did say he dated a lesbian once, & i explained that many men feel compelled to interject with an anecdote relating an exception to the rule or insist that they will he the exception to the rule, & it's really just bad manners, not even getting into the bad politics. he took it on the chin & talked about how the girl in question came home to find her partner dead of an overdose & his wife had just died of MS, so their relationship was more about grief & comfort than sexual attraction. i was like that's really, really sad, & it's wonderful that you were able to be there for each other at a time of such staggering loss, & i am a person who totally understands what you mean to communicate, but if a lesbian tells you they're a lesbian & you reply that you once dated a lesbian & they get offended & instead of responding with contrition or correction you elaborate on the tragic backstory of the relationship as though that explains the circumstances in which a self-proclaimed lesbian would date a cis man, other lesbians *will* deck you, or at the very least not take you, an unwashed white guy in

his 40s who isn't neurotypical & sits way too close for social convention in a way that could easily be construed as a come-on, in good faith.) tl;dr made some new friends, did some good drügs (i much prefer smoking m*th to snorting it, basically like purer, more potent adderall, & as such will not be doing it again for a LONG time, because i enjoy it FAR too much; slices through the brain fog & the chronic fatigue & the joint/bone pain, makes me able to pay attention, follow the thread of a conversation, actually be *interested* & want to ask *questions* & expand, build, encourage my interlocutor to elaborate, place more kal-toh pieces until the conversation shimmers into a three-dimensional shape, instead of being listless & exhausted & disengaged & *bored* all the time, so obviously i would get addicted immediately if given the opportunity, & i've known this forever lol)--now going to hydrate, refill pill case, write some emails, & meet C at the beach! not how i expected to reboot my brain, but it works! also putting them on limited facebook view because i try to keep some groups of people in my life quarantined from each other & that includes 1) my relatives & my academic ~colleagues (ne'er the twain shall meet), 2) my exes & my family, 3) my relatives, colleagues, & uh. a couple of lovely, but extremely psychotic dudes with very long criminal records i met while doing hard drugs

[hikari-writes]

『Boku No Hero Academia』

Crack Headcanon

↬ Bakusquad & you on a ghost hunt

Pairing: Bakusquad; Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijiro, Kaminari Denki, Ashido Mina, Sero Hanta

Warning: Cursing, a bit spoopy, a bit on the crack side

Genre: Crack

Words: 714

A/N: ok so i was watching nuke's top 5 vid abt 5 scary videos and i saw this one vid of a youtuber (cant rmmbr his name) abt how he and his mom kept getting haunted by ghosts whenever they go, and in one scene he was wavinv his hands at an empty chair that just moved on its own and somehow i kinda find it funny like he was trying to see whether he can touch the ghost lmao so yeah, that part i wrote is based of his video. Also its spooky month! So im in the mood to made smthng like thiss,, (also can someeone recommend scary stories videos on yt plisss)

➳ Literally the only reason Bakugou was doing this was because Sero provoked him saying he was a scaredy-cat

➳ And yes, Sero may or may not almost was blasted away by Bakugou but that’s not important

➳ He got Bakugou to go with you guys 

➳ Plus Bakugou’s driving because yes

➳ Oh and

➳ On the way to the supposedly “haunted” and abandoned house, you KNOW Kaminari and Kirishima ain’t gonna shut up about it

➳ They’re gonna be like,

➳ “WE’RE GONNA HUNT SOME GHOSTSSS, WE’RE GONNA HUNT SOME GHOSTSSSSS OOOOOHHHHH”

➳ They would sing some made up song

➳ My god 

➳ You had to admit it was amusing and fun to listen to

➳But it did get annoying over time

➳ Even Mina who joined in at first already got tired of it

➳ Bakugou even threatened to throw them off the car if they don’t shut up

➳ Eventually they did 

➳ When you finally arrived, you started recording your adventure

➳ Bakugou tried to hide it but you can literally see him gripping his flashlight a little bit too hard

➳ And you bet your ass that Kaminari's gonna recite one of the lines from buzzfeed unsolved episode

➳ "Hey demons! If you wanna eat my heart, turn that light on."

➳ And obviously there would be no response since the light bulb is broken in the first place, but Kaminari was like,

➳ "I think this demon's a wimp."

➳ "Kaminari, the light bulb is fucking broken."

➳ When you went to what seemed like a dining room, suddenly one of the chairs moved on itself away from the table

➳ Yes, you guys panicked, and yes, Bakugou's soul might've left his body for a moment

➳ “OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!”

➳ You and Mina were holding each other, Sero and Kirishima’s faces were pale but they still managed to keep their cool, Kaminari recorded the whole shit, both excited and scared at the same time

➳ And Bakugou’s already passed out (only in his mind though)

➳ Then Kaminari went to the chair and wave his arm there, as if trying to grab something unseen

➳ “Kaminari, what are you doing---”

➳ “Trying to see whether I can touch the ghost or not.”

➳ He then pushed the chair away from its position but not even a moment after that, the chair moved back on itself to its original position

➳ “FUCK!” Kaminari yelled

➳ And yes, many shit goes down after that but fortunately (or maybe unfortunately idk u decide) you didn’t see anything else

➳ Just some minor things like things moving on its own and stuff

➳ You might wanna rewatch your recordings if you thought you didn’t see any ghosts though----

➳ After you all finally went outside you were sweating like crazy

➳ “Phew! That’s quite the adventure, huh guys?”

➳ You said to the guys who seemed pretty worn out 

➳ Especially Bakugou

➳ “That...was….AMAZING!! WHO WANNA GO AGAIN! I’M GONNA RECORD IT AGAIN AND POST IT ON THE INTERNET!”

➳ Kaminari enthusiastically said and although at first Mina, Sero and Kirishima were reluctant, they agreed in the end after Kaminari used his convincing not persuasion skill

➳ And yes, you were actually the first to agree to do it again

➳ Bakugou had just about enough of this shit and he refused to join

➳ Honestly he doesn’t even care anymore if you guys think he’s a scaredy cat or anything, he just wants to go back home at this point

➳ Also since he cared about you guys and doesn’t want you guys to be cursed or anything, whenever he knew you guys were about to go ghost hunting, he would sabotage your car

➳ Every. Single. Time.

➳ Eventually you guys gave up

➳ *cue Bakugou smirking in victory in the background*

➳ But then one fateful day

➳ Kaminari came bursting through your door and said,

➳ “Forget about ghosts. There’s been sightings of Bigfoot at Salt Fork State Park.”

➳ “That’s in the United States. Are we gonna fly there just to search for a Bigfoot who may or may not even exist?”

➳ “We’re gonna fly there just to search for a Bigfoot who may or may not even exist.”

➳ “You’re crazy,” you said as you got up from your seat and went to your bedroom

➳ “But I’m crazier,” you get out of your bedroom with travelling equipments on your hands

➳ Bakugou has already given up on you guys at this point

[ilkkawhat]

fav fic titles

[Rules: List your 20 favorite fic titles, whether they're story titles or chapter titles!  They can be funny, creative, eye-catching, whatever makes them your best.  :)  If you don't have 20 favorites, or don't have 20 stories, just do however many you want!]

tagged by @impossiblepluto and believe or not, 237 fics and I really don’t have many.

1) Half Past Midnight - my first re-emergence into writing and publishing CSI fic after many, many years (though honestly I don’t count a lot of my teenage stuff cause it was hot garbage anyway) and I didn’t actually even notice until I think I posted the first or second chapter that technically, when the team is watching the feed for the first time, it is a little half past midnight so. that was just cool to sort of subconsciously gather lmao

2) The All In series: Atrophy, Agony, Augury - Alliteration, pure and simple lmao very satisfying and esp in my most recent graphic series for it. It’s all about that Suffering

3) Agony Ch. 26: Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve - The longest I’ve written for any of my multi-chaps to date, this chapter means a lot to me on so many levels and I feel like it’s title is due in part to my own bout of agony going on with some pretty severe depression so. Yay self projection

4) Specimen Stokes & its chapter titles - Even before the shrinking twist I was giddy about dubbing Nick a “specimen” just for the like. idk, human experimentation aspect and because he’s super hot. The chapter titles are all composed of things you’d find in a lab which has actually started to become a little tricky for me (and I super want to name this one chapter “Feed My Frankenstein” but it’ll break the trend lol) but I had a dream recently about a chapter called “scissors” and I know exactly what would happen in it. Whether that’ll be this story or the sequel, I’m stoked.

5) First Flight - It originally had a double meaning but I scrapped half of the fic’s plot for reasons but recently I figured out how to restore that double meaning with a brand new twist that wasn’t necessarily gonna happen. I also have a tentative chapter called “no cake in the breakroom” that’s gonna be the most angsty, gut wrenching thing I ever write and I’m weirdly excited for it

6) Finder’s Fee - Out of all of my episode-related titles I actually think I like this one the most? and by that I mean where I either twist the name of the episode (i.e, Assume Nothing > Everything Assumed) or take a line from the episode as the title. This was another “means a lot to me” fic too (coughSelfProjectioncough)

7) For Your Viewing Pleasure - Okay this was another episode related one and I just like it cause it was a super underrated creepy ass line in Grave Danger and I wrote an entire fic about it in a week. out of nowhere.

8) Last Breath & its chapter titles - Mostly composed of song titles, I tried to choose things that would kinda give a clue/set the tone for the chapter. I’m a sucker for Evanescence’s knack for angst in their lyrics lmao

9) Hollow Heart & its chapter titles (specifically “The Rescue”) - My first lemon fic! Angsty lemon!!!! Really kinda harder on the angst than the lemon aspect esp since I’m (still) not that good at writing smut but! I thought it turned out pretty good.

10) Stone Heart - Grave Danger AU, so naturally love it because of that, but it’s a reference to the lyrics of Outside Chance and something I actually want to get tattoo’d some day (I’m thinking a tattoo of the tape recorder, a pair of glow sticks, and a ribbon that reads “stone heart” on it)

I swear I do actually love more of my fic titles but these were the ones that resonate with me right now.

Also bonus, some titles of unreleased fics (subject to change) mainly just an excuse to gush over my WIPs that I actually have a name for cause otherwise I legit have documents titled “shock waves word vomit” or “attempt at writing word vomit hospital meat jekyll shit::

Bonus #1 The Violence in the Pouring Rain - Nick/Naomi (OC), one of my favorite uses of lyrics from Halsey’s “Hurricane” cause yeah. They’re trapped in a hurricane. Also a dream fic.

Bonus #2 Augury Ch. 1, I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight - I’m gonna be taking a real dangerous leap with this chapter into a territory I’ve never written before and feel a little idk not uncomfortable but just. worried about doing BUT...I feel like it’s gonna be one of my best in terms of build up and action and how the chapter ends. (and if you’ll notice, I used that song for the “trailer” I made even though I gotta finish Agony first LMAO)

Bonus #3 The Pancho Problem/The Sanders Solution - The Pancho Problem was one of the earlier CSI fics I posted when I started publishing in 2018/2019 but unfortunately I had a moment of weakness and deleted what I had going for it. I do want to revisit it one day and re-work what I thought was wrong and one of my chapter titles for the Pancho Problem was “The Girl with the Flower Tattoo” which at the time, I thought was fucking amazing.

Bonus #4 The Beast You Made of Me: More Nick in captivity, but think of The Most Dangerous Game for the human hunting aspect, and idk other creepy shit like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for torture. Basically I’m gonna make Nick into a feral human beast by the end of it. With long hair and a scraggly beard. And literal shit thrown at him. Eventually finds his way home after a full on YEAR to find out...he doesn’t have one anymore.

Bonus #5 The Day the World Went Away: The assclowns haunted mansion fic I promised for years lmao. Combining inspiration from Twin Peaks, Silent Hill and my own dreams, I hope it ends up being done in time for this year’s Halloween lmao (or earlier)

Bonus #6 Nick + Jack + Nick: DaltonStokes + Nick Corelli. Cause we need to give Nick Corelli some love dammit.

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Ok yall I'm listening to tma for the first time and im gonna record my thoughts here.

I dont even know if this is worth posting but im going to do it anyways. I listened to episodes 1-40 in 3 days, I believe that's the first season.

ep 1: this is v good so far idk not much to say

ep 2: are all of these gonna have somebody named jon? thats the name of the dude speaking right?

ep 3: design with lines and a square in the middle? gotta be real that just sounds like a spider web. (isnt there an entity or wtvr called The Web? i think?) also are we just gonna brush over whatever thing shoved her into the street bruh

ep 4: the eye! That's a thing I remember seeing posts about

ep 6: worms? Worms!! "This story is concerning" arent they all?? who the heck is Jane prentiss uh oh

ep 7: so I'm guessing this is one of the entities we hear about?

ep 8: fractals feel like a Web thing idk its just vibes. this box sounds like a Web thing too- oop yeah spiders

ep 9: ik the hand with the eye on it is significant cuz i see it in fanart but im not sure what it means.

ep 11: web go brrr

ep 12: eyes!! In ep 4 the poem mentions smth about hearing right? AYO look at me makin connections Jared Keay (keye?) baybeeee. Beholding is a thing!

ep 15: I think theres an entity called The Dark but I'm not sure if im just making that up

ep 17: is it jorgen shitener or wtvr his name is again. IT IS!

ep 16: web time

ep 18: sus smells. Is it Eye time?

ep 19: oh!! this is connected to the other one! woah!

ep 21: this feels a lot like the cave diving one so far. was that a squish noise i heard at the end? worms? doesnt he have worm scars from whatever thing?

ep 22: martin voice reveal!! pogchamp! oh wow ok i knew the worms were gonna be somewhat important but not this important oh boy.

ep 23: oh god please no not the books. is this related to the graveyard thing from mist? jw 1279 (doesnt jw mean jehovah's witness) ffFUC KING KEAY

ep 29: i wonder if gerard keay (as ive learned his name is spelled) is one of those immortal death thingies. he does seem to show up a bunch but somehow i doubt it

ep 30: The Slaughter time? Meat! like the upstairs neighbor one!

ep 31: he mispronounced Appalachia >:( aw hell naw this is some Most Dangerous Game shit. this has The Slaughter vibes

ep 32: Prentiss oh boy. worms go brr. beholding is such a specific word i feel like i have to write it down ever time i hear it. spiders again. I still havent figured out which entity prentiss is related with. "you rob it of it's fear" "i dont know why the hive chose me" Is there an entity called the hive? i wouldnt be surprised but i cant remember hearing about it. Nicholas says worms are related to The Corruption

ep 33: "trying not to think about eachother" sean kelly o no re u gonna die. yeah im with jon on this one theres not rlly any supernatural stuff happening. probably they sacrificed him to keep something ? at bay (heh)

ep 34: i dont have to talk about how weird John Doe is right? v sus. The cracking noise is them giving themselves bones right. Apple? spiders? awww teeth i tried to call it. Teeth like the trash bag episode!

ep 35: passages: as in from a book? please no god not litener tell me it isnt so- GODDAMMIT OH WAIT JARED ITS HIM THAT LITTLE SHIT 13 passages + the one they came from. Weirdly wet, probably covered in blood. Bone! from the book that jared has! that's where he got his fuckner book. pages with web, figure in the darkness (anglerfish) stranger who means him harm, smth abt heat idk lightless flame go brr. eww the wormsss.

ep 36: buzzing? like in Hive? this sounds like a worms thing, perhaps the person who gave the statement got infected, thats why she was washing/ itching her hand? lighter?? hold on jared had one and the guy who got killed by the crime dude had one. spiderweb design go brr web go brr

interesting note cuz i cant remember which episode this came up in. In one of the past episodes tim was talking about some mistakes in the recordings. jon doesnt seem like the type of person to just not care about mistakes. he's gotten obsessed with these recordings like others get obsessed with the web etc

ep 37: They have the table? hmm... is this gonna be some fairy ring stuff. oh boy more burning. iron oh boy fae shit. milk bottle? this all sounds like witch shit i gotta be honest. rain water? yeah this feels like witchy things lol. dont tell me he opened one of the bottles. istg. he messed with some witch's spell jar and now he's cursed. is it a photo of his "predecessor" AYO IT ISS I CALLED IT

ep 38: books at lease we know they wont be involved but they couldve been. how come no one but jon ever calls the design a spiderweb? he has a migrane from the design? (idk if it is a guy but i always use he/him in my head cuz jon does) hopefully that means he wont be influenced? idk. oh dear a person is gonna disappear arent they. is david gonna go missing. is the speaker gonna go missing? spider oh no jon. oh no worms oh fuck

ep 39: oh dear this is quite unfortunate. LMAO he just asked if martin was a ghost im losing my shit. AYY TIM. fucking sasha is gonna get brainwashed by the web istg. I think that's a new voice but i cant tell im not v good at determining different voices. is it prentiss?

ep 40: "my eyes are up here but yknow, theyre not." LMAO how come those worms were slow (tim's statement) sasha sounds off. it's not her for sure. Is it like NotGraham? NotSasha? its funny she (gertrude) has such an ordinary death but that almost just causes more questions. If she didnt die due to a supernatural thing then it's something scarier, a person. (ayy me n jon said like the exact same thing) "they'll have to kill me first" oh god oh fuck foreshadowing

[lenalikesboots]

Bootleg Review n°1

So I watched this bootleg video yesterday and I must say...I’m impressed,

From what I know, this is the oldest video out there of the West End production of Love Never Dies. It’s completely pre-changes - it uses the soundtrack from the original album.

The leads are played by  Ramin Karimloo (as Erik), Sierra Boggess (as Christine), Joseph Millson (as Raoul), Summer Strallen (as Meg), Liz Robertson (As Mme. Giry), Richard Linnell (as Gustav)

What really bothered me at first is that it’s missing about 25 minutes from Act 1. Everything in between Till I Hear You Sing and Mother Please I’m Scared is missing. The bootleg is otherwise complete. There is some washout in bright lights and the camera strays at times from the action, and there’s a  bar that blocks some of the actors, but otherwise, this is a very a decent bootleg. 

I liked seeing the scenes that they cut off in the Australian production. I thought it was interesting. 

The Coney Island Walz is instrumental only, and it serves as kind of an Overture thing, in which, just like in Phantom, they take you back in time and set the whole setting of the show.

It goes all the way back to opening night of Phantasma. 

In the beginning, there are people chattering about the new amusement park, wanting to go in. 

After that, we get to see the whole only-for-him; only-for-you thing, which I thought was cool.

Also- Although I do think that it’s possible Meg has developed the hots for Erik,this Meg seems to just want a promotion. She’s in love with her career, not with her boss. I genuinely like that!

In Summer’s portrayal, Meg seems to be giving 110%, and wants nothing more than to be noticed and have her work appreciated. Of course it’s a blow for her when her mother told her that her boss didn’t care enough to show up. It’d be a blow for anyone, really, because it means your work is alright, but still not outstanding. What’s next, he doesn’t even know her name? Calls her Meghan, instead of Meg? 

Anyways- it’s safe to say, I like Summer’s portrayal of Meg a lot!

Next we move on to Till I Hear You Sing! I absolutely loved the way Ramin sang it for this performance!

It was absolutely breathtaking!

I’ve had chills so many times listening to him sing it, like damn!

Unfortunately, the recording stops right after that and picks back up at Mother Please I’m Scared, where it’s really mostly audio and you can’t really see a thing. 

I must say, I liked this Dear Old Friend! I liked how this time, Meg didn’t sound judgemental of the fact that Christine stopped singing to become a full-time wife and mother.

And I liked how instead of sounding bitter, Meg sounds rather confused when Christine said she was going to sing. 

Moving on- in the middle of Dear Old Friend, Gustav runs off. 

Obviously, he goes to see Erik. 

And here we come to the first thing I didn[’t like about the show: Ramin’s Erik is really cold and mean towards Gustav in this performance particularly. I know that it’s only because he believes him to be Raoul’s son but come on- even if Raoul were Gustav’s father, it’s not the child’s fault! You can’t choose your own parents goddamn it!

I liked Beauty Underneath...kind of...idk,. I generally don’t like the vibe this song gives me. 

I liked the whole “wow! You and I think the same!” idea, but the way they carried it out was bordering on genuinely creepy.

Next up! Erik takes his mask off and...fucks everything up. Kid runs away. 

I liked Christine’s reaction to all of this. I liked how she asks Madame Giry to take him away and how she apologises to Erik for her child’s reaction. 

And here we come to another of the things I didn’t like about Ramin’s portrayal of the character...Repeat after me: You do NOT strangle the woman you thought could possibly have bore your child. You. Do. NOT. 

And you do not tighten your grip when she accuses you of abandoning her- especially if you DID abandon her! Dammit Ramin! Why so angry?

Good thing that he releases her- HOWEVER...

Why so angry Ramin??? Damn!!!

Then she tries to kiss him (which I must admit- was out of nowhere) and he pulls away, still looking super angry.

 I get it-he feels awful that not even his own son can accept him the way he is. I get it. 

BUT...why take it all out on Christine?

Poor girl already had to go through enough because of him. 

Moving on: there are a few other things I didn’t like...but this time, I won’t put the blame just on Ramin.

Number one: when he uncovers his face, Christine turns away. Isn’t that kind of contradicting the whole idea behind “This haunted face holds no horror for me now”?

I understand that his face may not be the prettiest sight, and I understand that she was kinda shocked-after all she hasn’t seen it in 10,almost 11 years. Buuuut she didn’t have to full on turn away.. I thought that directing/acting choice was a little over the top. 

And number two: after Christine leaves, Erik is left all alone to think about what just happens. He seems to be a really proud dad at first...but then there is one line that really threw me off, considering what happens in the next act. “If it’s true, I’ve no reason to live” 

Uhm...dude?? If you’re planning to kill yourself, why the hell would you make a bet, which would be forcing your baby-mama and your kid to stay in America if you’d win it (and you already know you will) ?

And if he suddenly had a change of heart before that, why didn’t we get to see any of that happen? What motivated him? What made him change his mind?

Did Christine maybe ask him to make that bet? It wouldn’t be a surprise if she did....

And I am not saying this to hate on Raoul! I absolutely love Raoul and pity him greatly in Love Never Dies. He’s not an abusive monster. He’s sick! Not only is he suffering from an addiction, but he also seems to be suffering from depression.

He blames himself for all of Christine’s suffering- although, he had nothing to do with it. It all goes back to Erik leaving her, creating a vicious cycle. Christine then marries Raoul just so she wouldn’t be shunned for having a child out of wedlock. She’s obviously unhappy in her marriage, which ends up making Raoul unhappy, so he ends up drinking his sorrows away. In the end, he blames himself for the fact that Christine is unhappy. 

This is what I got from Why Does She Love Me?

Quite obviously, she doesn’t. 

He thinks she does, because she says so, but she is obviously unhappy in her marriage because she doesn’t. However, Raoul takes her sadness to mean that he is the one who is not good enough. He is the one making her unhappy. He is the one unworthy of love.

It breaks my heart that after everything he’s done for her, he ended up feeling so damn bad about himself. None of this is his fault.

 Then, in walks our second unappreciated character: Meg. There are a lot of parallels in between these two. I feel like they’re both going through the same pain, although in very different ways. 

When I watched LND for the first time, I thought this would be the start of a brand new love story, one that would steal the show, and inevitably, our hearts.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. 

When Meg leaves, Raoul starts talking shit about Erik, only for him to end up showing up behind the bar. Talk of the devil, they say...

Over all, I think this scene is a really funny one- probably a fun one to rehearse and perform as well. 

But the whole idea behind it...Guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but...Christine is a human being..She’s not property...Let her make her own damn choices for once, she never ever got to do that in her life. 

I hate how Erik starts objectifying Christine in Love Never Dies. He didn’t do it in the original, why start now?

Moving on to the next day:

Bathing Beauty is so damn catchy! Like damn!!

I love how Meg arrives in a hot air balloon. 

I liked this randition of Summer’s Bathing Beauty. I couldn’t see much of it and I couldn’t see the bathing suits either, but the whole scene was really nice. 

I felt so bad for Meg in the next scene though!

Madame Giry was waaay too harsh with her. 

Next scene is Christine’s dressing room scene.

I love how conflicted and anguished Sierra portrays her to be. And I love the contrast between the way she acts around Raoul and the way she acts around Erik. Around Raoul, she’s really sweet, like a good wife should be and she is also quite affectionate. 

But around Erik...

I think this picture speaks for itself...

By the way: The way she doesn’t question why Raoul asked her not to sing, and the way she gets all conflicted later, makes me think that she knows about the bet, but is starting to have second thoughts about it. Which is completely understandable. As a wife, her first priority is her marriage, which they could, possibly work out.

And as a mother, she has to put her son and what would be best for him first too. She can’t just force him to accept a new guy as his father- even if he is indeed his biological father. So all that anguish she’s feeling? Completely understandable. 

You can see from her body language, even when she’s singing, that she is having second thoughts. That this is really hard for her and that she doesn’t know what to do. There is so much pressure on her, the poor girl is close to breaking down on stage, in front of thousands of people.

But then Raoul leaves...And everything in her body language changes. She becomes more confident, more content with her decision. For once, she put herself first. She realizes that she will finally get to be happy. 

She, Erik and their child...

I love how happy and hopeful she looks in the next scene as well!

It’s sad that they don’t kiss in this scene, but oh well...We move...

Another thing that made me believe that Christine knew about the bet was how unbothered she seemed by the fact that Raoul left. She wasn’t shocked. She knew this was going to happen. She didn’t want it to happen like that, but it did. 

And then when she realizes that Gustav is missing, she nearly gets a heart attack, 

I absolutely LOVE Erik’s reaction to the whole thing! I love how worried and angry he got! See, this is one of those times I do appreciate his anger. 

Moving on to the next scene:

One thing I didn’t like about it was how close Erik got to Meg when he told her “We can’t all be like Christine”.

That line is such a bad thing to say when trying to comfort someone who’s having a mental breakdown...

Meg has been working for him for ten years. She has helped him so damn much, and she doesn’t even get a thank you, or a decent. No, she only ever gets all these dumb vaudeville numbers, making her a showgirl, not a respected performer. 

While Christine, who has only been in town for two days, and hasn’t been performing for a couple of years, immediately gets the aria, the nice dress and the beautiful jewelry. 

And then, he has to point out how perfect she is, in front of Meg, who then, when she just wants to talk back to him, ends up accidentally pulling the trigger. And you can tell this was clearly an accident in this performance. She even runs off to get help, only to later return, probably with a doctor on the way, when Christine is already gone (maybe. nobody checked her pulse or her breathing, and the bullet didn’t hit an important artery. She might still be alive)

I loved Erik and Christine’s last kiss. It was so sweet, so passionate. I love how he kept kissing her even after she let go.

However...I didn’t like the way Ramin portrayed his reaction to her death. I understand that the feeling he was going for was numbness, but it literally ended up looking like he didn’t even care that much. For someone who’s never seen Phantom before (maybe just read the book) , who ends up watching this recording, this is the vibe you would get from it. 

I love the fact that Meg came back and that she is holding Christine’s body. You can tell just how sorry she is. 

I loved the whole unmasking scene. I loved how Erik slowly started opening up to Gustav, when he was finally ready to accept him. And I loved the hug in the end.

And I must say: Erik is getting better at hugging. That’s good!

All in all: I really liked this recording of the show. 

If I were to grade it, I’d give it a 7,5/10.

 Before I end this post, can we please appreciate just how gorgeous that dress is? Like damn!!!

Sierra looks absolutely stunning in it as well!

(When does she not look stunning though?)

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Ranma 2/4

Part  Two: Chapter 13 - 25

Unless someone comes up with a better name I’m sticking with this one

HOW tf is the principal crazier than before?!

Yup, spreading out the Kuno-Principal thing

Is Sasuke seriously an anime-only?!?

Like I said Ryoga needs to chill a little first

Main reason I don’t like Ukyo That scene where she blatantly states she’s fine with turning Ranma into something he’s not rather than helping him

(Ignoring the near constant amount of undermining his abilities)

“I’m gonna cheer him up” as she holds a sword! Why?!

 Ranma you dummy, hug Akane!

I hate this demon/ghost cat

Shampoo, you manipulative bitch

Akane learns to swim like a normal person

The lifeguard in me can’t do it

 The principal is background shenanigans

Totally forgot about the kid who wants to play video games and is “weak” bc of it

Definitely need to find a different reason tho

 Lazy little shits are a pain

Also his mom is crap

 Akane… why you be dumb?

 Weird Happosai is Santa plot…

What is with the Excalibur meets lucky 1000 meets fairy godmother?

Good news is, with what I’ve done to Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse Ranma knows Kuno wouldn’t give him that wish and calls it quits sooner

Someone just needs to explain Ranma’s really confusing sense of morality to me

 Cuz it’s either on 110% or it’s nonexistent, now normally nonexistent is for Kuno but still

 Look Ranma’s got ego problems but he ain’t stupid

No betting the Tendo Dojo at five!

 On what planet is that a legal document?!?

Some1 tell me why Shampoo using Ranma as a stop ramp bugs me so bad

That mo when you can’t remember if the Hot Spring Challenge is when Ukyo met Shampoo in the anime…

I don’t think so…

Akane you made me need to google a word

That like never happens Ranma you idiot

So close but so far

So much more logic, thanks

I mean more insanity, but it explains why Ranma swapped clothes

Finally! Ranma apologizes

Jesus Christ someone would think I won the goddamn lotto with how loud I cheered when this happened

600% approve of this over what happened in the anime

Oof poor Ranma

Hahahaha in your face Shampoo, but I also think I know why Ranma chose it

Poor Ryoga

I KNEW this guy was coming I still hate it

YEET you can’t PAY ME to  do this arc

Look, is it the fact that I had etiquette and dance classes as a child and everyone assumed this is what it was like? Probably.

It wasn’t so I won’t.

Any1 else notice how Nabiki is one of the few ppl that uses she/her when Ranma is in his cursed form no matter what?

Why does this bug me?

Akane, stop beating Ranma up, honestly

This is closer to abuse rather than teasing

*sighs*

 Gotta work that out of the narrative, intentional or not

Every1 sayin she’s violent isn’t helping

Like I said really fucking morally GREY Nabiki

How grey can you go before you get black? 

 Let’s find out together

Can everyone PLEASE stop treating Ranma like an object?!

 I literally can’t tell if Nabiki is fucking Aro or not…

STRESS

Why is this so hard?!

I hate seeing Akane cry

I know she’s playing Ranma like a kazoo, but the point still stands

WHY ARE YOU TWO SO DUMB?!

Nope, nevermind it’s just Ranma that’s a fuckin idiot I blame Genma

No, I’m not kidding

*sighs* I don’t condone Nabiki doing this in any way just for the record THAT’S not an apology Ranma!

This mess is totally your fault Nabiki

STRESS

am I intentionally pointing out where this work of fiction is stressing me out since I’m now online schooling and suffering for it? Yes, fuck off.

 Actually, don’t.

But Fuck Covid19

Aww his hat’s back!

Why do I love his hat so much?

No, seriously Akane’s so cute!

Oooww tree

y’know the sec she realized what Ranma was doing Nabiki should’ve TOLD him!

Congrats Ranma ya got the wrong sis- I mean the right- but wrong- dammit y’know what I mean

Some1 give me a logical explanation for why Ranma goes on a date with a panda doodle, PLEASE

I do appreciate the epic battle background fight for the anime

Further proof that Happosai sucks

Manga name’s somehow less believable I think it’s the use of “snowman” rather than “yeti”

Did Soun just find out that Pchan is Ryoga, and say nothing?

Ooo, Imma commit arson

Remember when I said obey Physics and Medical, I meant it

Arson is wrong and I know this but “transgender bitch” crosses the line

I will do it

Shampoo is a fucking yandere psycho

Just sayin “we’ll see who can get him first” 

honestly, any other group and I’d be annoyed, but these four can’t work together for shit I

’m still pissed at Taro, but he can kill Happosai, please

I can’t tell if Shampoo, Mousse and Ryoga are being purposefully obtuse or not

I just reread their names I know the answer to at least two of them

Idk how I feel about Kuno-amnesia we’ll see

yep, Kuno gives me the creeps w or w/out his memories

kinda wish this was anime

jesus christ, poor Ranma

press f to pay respects for Ranma’s stomach

InstaRegret

 Also Ukyo’s assumption that some1 can make Ranma doing anythin he doesn’t want to is crap

Like HELLO! Wake up moron!

Nabiki, I mean this in the nicest way possible, shut the fuck up

You’re making it worse

Also TALK to each other you ding dongs!

OH RIGHT! I almost forgot about the biggest fucking insult that Ukyo said of her own freewill!

It also proves that she doesn’t know Ranma as a person AT ALL!

It’s not a pick one or the other kind of thing

The fact that she thinks Ranma would accept that is insulting

The fact that she thinks that is insulting and makes me hate the patriarchy

Again, treating him like a prize than a person

*tries not scream, sighs*

Nabiki, you’re the cause of at least 30% of the stress I get from this

You having feelings ain’t the fucking problem here Ukyo, you not acknowledging Ranma’s is

 I hate fake criers, anyone who does this I hate you

Always let others in on your plans, kids

When’s every1 gonna realize Ranma’s “wishy-washy” cuz no one’s ever committed to HIM before?

This episode confused me, I’m prepared to be MORE confused

Less confused, I’m surprised

 Gonsunkugi, you creep

There is SO much wrong with this

*shudders*

WHAT?!

Y’know I didn’t think Gosunkugi could surprise me, I was wrong

Happosai still sucks unfortunately for all of us he’s now weird on top of it

I love how much Ranma needs to be kicked in the teeth to get any character development out of him

Ryoga is my #1 choice for it, always

Ranma… why are you like this?

Genma, emotional range of a goddamn wall

I am jealous of Ranma’s brain

I could be SO mean with the Shishihokodan

Also, are they implying that Ryoga has depression?

Gimme Ranma’s brain

I won’t ask for his confidence cuz that’s impossible but I want his brain

In Akane’s defense, given what she knows she couldn’t’ve known how badly that would affect Ryoga

 I ain’t gonna say “leave Shampoo” cuz that’s cruel

I like the “turn into a Cat” rather than the “Can’t Cross” & the use of New Year’s rather than random but this still brings around the fact that she doesn’t LISTEN to him

Mousse you’re NOT helping in fact you’re actively making it worse did you miss when he said blatantly “I don’t wanna”

oh, sure, NOW you’re ok with it

ugh Mousse, you have a brain, I’ve SEEN you use it. Do so now.

This entire episode weirded me out

IDK if it’s the age-dff or the fact that he was makin it up and somehow everyone thought this was okay … 

I won’t YEET it but MASSIVELY change

heheheh

Light bulb

NOPE I’m keeping this surprise to myself

it was a rather sweet end tho

Oh, this episode is a mess and a half, honestly

Also Nabiki, congrats you’ve literally enabled a stalker S

o many laws are broken here

okay, so Kodachi not being in on Ranma’s secret after so long makes sense purely because she doesn’t go to their school

however, with what i’ve done to make Kuno marginally less dumb it makes a little bit less sense…

I literally hate Kuno with what I’ve done to his logic of Ranma’s transformation, but that’s the point Kodachi… how do I handle you… oh, duh!

Ok, so Kodachi is now also terrible

 I’m trying to figure out where this is in the plot since there is ZERO

Ok, there’s a LINE, Nabiki

This one would be touching, if it didn’t end the way it does

TALK gentlemen! 

It won’t kill you

Fuck a parent that says they’re not your parent for no reason, EVER

I am going to make this hurt

 Also gonna take out Genma’s fail at stealth

 Remember I said Akane’s going to learn to cook

heheheh

sorry, I just love this idea

Oh this is SO against the rules it’s not even funny

 tiny adjustment so they actually have quasi-competent referees

Crazy wants crazy?I won’t stop ‘em

I reiterate: CHEATING!

I am aware that the “ending” apparently sets them back to the start in terms of their relationship but I swear to God if they pretend shit like this didn’t happen I will scream

 Someone ships something other than Akane x Ranma PLEASE explain why/how

don’t ship bash but I would insight when you explain 

STICK TO CANON

please trust me, I’m a multi/poly/crack shipper

(for frame of reference to a bnha I ship DabiHawks)

I understand the appeal of Fanon

however, I would like to stick to Canon here

so no Fanon

Canon Only

Fully love that high kick

Genma shows Ranma’s secret here, but they already know… so… I shall find out

Ooo, you’re not getting out of this Ranma

Do you know how tempting it is for Akane to at least tell Ranma she’s a girl- oh wait gendered sports… right…

Ranma… 

if you didn’t realize it was Akane when she hit you for calling her klutzy I can’t help you

I want to commit arson at some of the comments…

but can confirm that these are HS boys

 Doesn’t mean I gotta like it

I was wondering how long I was going to have to wait before tearing into Nodoka

FINALLY

Took me WAY too long to remember that Nodoka calling Ranko tomboyish is due to how he speaks in Japanese

I’ll need to figure that out since… English

Can I explode on Genma’s choice to take Ranma at TWO?!

Can I further explode on both of them for making a TWO YEAR OLD “sign” a Seppuku Pledge?!

I hate both of them, honest

ALSO communication! 

Genma! Just fucking TELL HIM!

Making her transphobic is SO tempting

I don’t mean in a “i hate you” way I mean in a “I sheltered my whole life” way

 It’s still bad, and painful, but she can easily learn from that

Or be worse, this could go 2 ways

I feel so bad for Akane for this entire conversation

Also poor Ranma like ouch… 

 Awkward

I’m going to make this hurt something fierce

Slight change since I’m hoping Ranma isn’t as “peak fight or flight” by this point

Genma don’t be an asshole for FIVE MINUTES

Please, that’s all I want

If she doesn’t learn the truth before the end I will make a bad decision

Really, I will

Don’t kill Genma, you can’t

 Akane, don’t say like you wouldn’t… honestly

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, honestly, just look the other way Ranma

*sigh* 

Ranma…

See, this kind of crap here is why I really don’t like Cologne

any other day Akane’d be right

oof, that means he self aware that girls flock to him

I’m quite frustrated by that if I’m honest

Ranma is clueless about all the wrong things

I love him but God I wanna punch him sometimes

Why is there a swing from the ceiling?!

I had a jolt from the way they set that panel up, thanks

Are you trying to kill me?!

Thank you Cologne, now fuck off

Oh thank God, at least he learned

This is nonanime stuff so I have no clue what’s happening but anything to make Happosai miserable

I’m enjoying this immensely

 ugh, “think of it as a compliment” ghost

Eat me

 okay, yeah, as much as I want him dead, that’s worse

I’m glad he’s not a one-and-done character

I will forever ONLY call him Taro when it is NonDialogue

Wait Saffron as in big-bad Saffron?

I literally only know pieces of the end so I’m just pulling from what I know

Lol, wait… was that soldier Anime only too?

I almost liked you there for a sec Taro

Now I’m pissed again

bravo

Oh, YIKES

… if Ranma falls into the Spring of Drowned Twins would he split?

 I’m not going to DO IT, obviously!

I’m just curious okay… 

that answers that… and kills anyone other than Ranma’s plan to turn back to normal I hope everyone is aware of that

oof

Since when is there a castle on an island in Japan

tis just a scratch, I’ll admit that was funny

Ranma… your stomach gets you in so many problems

ok, that was wholesome

I approve

Okay, so my understanding is that Mrs. Tendo got sick, so I can understand the reactions to Kasumi

BUT I still find it odd because… well… anyone in my house gets sick and you mostly can’t even tell I mean, minus a worse attitude and a mask, other than that though, nope we keep ‘er movin’

 I’m moving this section sooner EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!

I like her mom’s cookbook tho

I could make a Ranma x Ryoga joke here, but I won’t

I also won’t make a Ranma x Ryoga joke chapter cuz I’m nice like that

Actually I might have no choice

I’m FINE just dying

 Help

my multishipper heart is dying here

 I love this

InstaRegret for THREE people

If nothing else, I’m impressed

(well three once Ranma’s back to normal)

I need help

Fangirling/Fanboying/Fanpeopling is dangerous folks, remember that

Poor Ryoga

Though I too feel that right now like where do I look because everything coming in at mach 6

I’m changing that one scene tho cuz I can’t justify the aftermath without it

This… is… weird to say the least

I feel like I should just expect anything with Gosunkugi remotely involved to be weird at this point

okay, not as weird as I expected

glad it was short tho

I think I am officially out of anime terf

YAY, new content!

This is why I ask about any ship that isn’t Ranma x Akane

Also, names?

That- that- that can’t... 

I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT!

EWWW

gross

WHY?!?!!

also, biology, that’s not how that works!!

You two ARE idiots

Ryoga you die I’ll kill you

Well… that hurt to see so quick…

Ranma, get up!

I officially hate this Herb guy

ok, so if you put HOT water in the ladle do you stay that way forever?

Alright! Way to go Ryoga!

I need to stop shipping Rivals it’s bad for my health

fucking eat it you dick!

 Poor Akane

nevermind, Ranma you idiot

awwwww

ok, so that whole no more Anime-content… I was wrong, and I admit that, but still

I’m just thinking of my bff when they realize she’s an adult cuz, yeah, she’s like that too

 except like physically an adult unlike tiny-Hinako

 oh MY GOD Ukyo you’re driving me up the goddamn wall I swear!

THANK YOU AKANE!

 “You’re all Ranma’s fiancées” when only one of them actually is 

GIANT SIGH OF ANNOYANCE

Ranma, learn to communicate, PLEASE!

Okay… so is this where they figured it out or are some ppl still in the dark?

TIMELINE!!

Honestly, mood Ranma, mood

This entire plot line confuses me if I’m being totally honest

I mean I live for the Akane focus, but there are so many better ways to do this

[theteaisaddictive]

It just hit me in a flash that i never asked for your thoughts/rankings of the Cats 2019 soundtrack. Please forgive my ignorance and bestow the gift of your wisdom upon us

i have been caught in a whirlwind of events, which is why i have not responded sooner, but i’m currently home sick so what better excuse is there to wax evangelical (evan . . . jellicle??) about the cats movie soundtrack than this precise moment

i. jellicle songs for jellicle cats

i mean. well. first things first, it was recorded in advance (i assume that the 90s version was a live recording, but i could be wrong here) so of course it is going to sound awkward and stilted. this is nothing compared to how awkward and unnatural it is to see a bunch of actors naked save for cgi fur and ken-doll-like crotches singing and . . . uh, i think they’re dancing? -- around the white cat victoria, who did not have nearly so big a part from what i can digest of the 90s youtube clips. my favourite part has to be the fucking techno beat though. god damn. party on, you funky little abominations.

ii. the naming of cats/the invitation to the jellicle ball

yes, i will be smushing the exposition-related songs together unless i feel like separating them. this is my life, these are my choices. idk, it was fine?? i guess? munkustrap (aka The Main Cat Who Isn’t Victoria or Judi Dench and Quite Frankly Deserved Better Because He Was Giving This Performance His All) kind of just says the naming instead of it being a company-wide thing. they did not include bombalurina or demeter’s names in the naming, and this was the point at which i realised that the big name stars were not, in fact, going to lounge around in the background for the entirety of the play like they do in the musical. :(

the invitation also sees my Sweet Boy mr mistoffelees get his first solo line, which is good bc i fell in love with his sweet little face over the course of the film, and bad bc it marks the start of the absurd victoria/mr mistoffelees subplot which i am convinced was put in because of course a plotless weirdmageddon like cats needs a romantic subplot

iii. the old gumbie cat

something that needs mentioning is that idris elba shows up as macavity at various points in-between songs. i’m pretty sure he shows up for the first time here and like, tries to lure victoria away?? i think?? anyway it obviously does not work bc unfortunately we are stuck with victoria for the entire film, so onto the gumbie cat song we go.

what can i say about the rebel wilson song that hasn’t already been said. she unzips her skin. the cockroaches are uncanny in the extreme. there are slater-sized mice played by children. there is no funky tap routine, or if there is it was erased from my mind by the frequent awkward gaps in which rebel wilson attempted to be funny. dear god. 

iv. the rum tum tugger

miiiiilllllkk

ok, ok, fine. jason derulo gave a fun, lively performance and didn’t even have the decency to do a bad english accent, which means there is at least one song which i have to genuinely like and can’t just like ironically. but also miiiiillllkkk why is there a milk bar in london which is perfectly cat-sized whyyyy. 

v. grizabella

i am going to be honest. i think that this song appeared later in the movie, but the soundtrack only lists ‘highlights’ so it doesn’t appear in the track list. idk what to say. there are some girl cats (unnamed, although i think they have names in the stage version) who are mean to grizabella and then they say that she started working for macavity?? i’m not sure if this does or does not imply that he became her pimp, although he certainly has the coat and hat for it, which only raises more questions which i dare not put voice to.

vi. bustopher jones

fuck james corden. what the fuck did he do to the refined, fat old cat who frequents gentleman’s clubs and only dines on the finest stuff?? he made him dig around in the rubbish bins and interrupt the song twice to make ‘jokes’ about how fat he is. god i cannot fuckign stand james corden and i do not think he’s funny so i’m aware i may be biased but still. god. 

oh yes and then at the end macavity lures him over to a giant bin (in full view of the other cats, might i add) and thanos snaps him out of existence, but sadly not out of the movie. rebel wilson also got thanos-snapped earlier i just forgot to mention it.

vii. mungojerrie and rumpleteazer

i understand that this melody is the original melody and that the melody used in the 90s recording was a change made for broadway; however, this was the most boring fucking song in the movie and they should have used the broadway version, good night. also victoria is there while they burgle the house, for some reason, bc having an audience surrogate means she needs to be in Every Fucking Scene, so that was a Choice.

viii. old deuteronomy

a nice, sweet song introducing judi dench, sung by munkustrap in such a manner that i began to wonder if he was like, her boytoy or something. also the nuzzling is, like, out of control. i know there’s nuzzling in the stage version, but onstage they're also all crawling around on all fours and stuff whereas here they’re bipedal most of the time. it makes it look like everyone is constantly going in for a kiss when they’re actually just being sociable, and it is fucking disorienting.

ix. the jellicle ball

by the way, the jellicle ball itself takes place in some sort of cat-friendly dilapidated theatre, and it is both the weirdest and least weird thing about this whole movie. 

idk, it was fine?? oh wait, i actually forgot -- so waaaaay back at the start, victoria has a famous solo which wasn’t actually a solo in this version but danced with munkustrap, which . . . .was a Choice. so now she dances with like five different male cats, and it gets frantic, and Every Single Cat is just tearing it up on the dance floor, seriously the dancers in this are incredible, and then i think they all collapse on the floor in a heap, and it was at this point that i learned to be thankful i was not subjected to watching a cgi cat orgy while sitting next to my horrified sister

x. grizabella the glamour cat/memory (prelude)

like i said, i can’t remember what order this happens on the movie, so i’m taking the tracklist from the olc on genius. anyway victoria sneaks out for . . . reasons, and she sees grizabella. and grizabella is sad, and sings her song in the first person, because demeter got cut, because fuck demeter, i guess. oh yeah, and tom hooper, he of the masterful subtlety, had jennifer hudson sitting at a lamppost with withered leaves collected at her feet which she pointed to at the relevant lines. i’m surprised he didn’t add a sound effect of a moaning wind.

xi. beautiful ghosts

this was the song that taylor swift wrote for the movie and by god can you tell. it is incredibly jarring and serves no purpose (beyond, i guess, the purpose of deepening the nothing character of victoria), and -- ugh. look, it’s a pretty little song, and both victoria and taylor swift sing it well, but it’s thoroughly unnecessary. it’s like ‘suddenly’ in 2012 les mis -- why is this here??

xii. gus the theatre cat

i am not ashamed to admit that ian mckellen ‘singing’ gus the theatre cat was enough to bring a tear to my eye. because, well. the man may not have sung, but by god he acted. i challenge anyone with a heart to sit through all of cats and not even feel the slightest tug at their heartstrings when gus’s song plays. not even judi dench lifting one leg in appreciation could completely break the mood. oh wait. it did. (also gus got thanos-snapped by macavity immediately after exiting the stage)

xiii. skimbleshanks the railway cat

oooooh fuck YESSSSSS this is the single best song in the whole damn film. skimbleshanks himself?? wonderful. iconic. beautiful. his tap routine?? inspired. he’s skimbleshanks the railway cat -- the cat on the railway train! he inexplicably is wearing red dungarees, making him the fourth cat to be wearing clothes for no reason, and at the very end he spins like a top all the way into the air, before being thanes-snapped out of existence (but happily, not out of the movie) by.....

xiv. macavity the mystery cat

taylor swift is there. she’s undressed except for her cgi fur and a pair of stage heels. she starts tapping her little container of catnip over the collective of cats, causing munkustrap to make the sort of face you see reeve!superman make when he’s being poisoned by kryptonite, except that he is a cat being drugged with catnip and it is hard to take him seriously as a result. the song itself is a perfect guilty pleasure. taylor swift’s accent is shitty enough that you can enjoy the ridiculousness of the entire situation. idris elba cuts in to join the final chorus on ‘the Napoleon of criiiiiimmme’ and then he takes off his pimp coat and is . . . distressingly nude for the rest of the film. he dances briefly with taylor swift. it’s a thing.

anyway they thanos-snap judi dench to a boat on the thames bc she won’t let him go to cat heaven and the rest of the cats are left discombobulated. this is when Local Sadboy mr mistoffelees is uh, peer-pressured into attempting to magic judi dench back to the cats. bc mr mistoffelees has an arc now, you guys. and his arc?? is about getting his mojo back.

xv. mister mistoffelees

this song is also sung in first person by mistoffelees, which makes less sense when you get to the second verse, but whatever the movie only has about twenty minutes left let's just do it. it’s a solid song, but they keep pausing after every chorus to see if he can get judi dench back yet, which really dampens the groove that they have going on. anyway, they get her back, mr mistoffelees believes in himself now, yadda yadda yadda. meawhile back on the boat, this dickhead apparently didn’t bother to teleport the other cats back, so they fight their way out and rebel willson unzips her skin again. at this point in the cinema i was praying for mercy.

xvi. memory

memory was a song. it was clearly sung with a lot of emotion. for me, personally?? that emotion did not connect. sorry jennifer hudson. oh yeah also victoria has a verse in this song and i mentally wanted to s c r e am because this is not your fucking moment victoria, let the sad jennifer hudson cat belt her lungs out in peace

xvii. the ad-dressing of cats

god. let it end. let it end. this last ‘song’ was dragged out minute after minute after minute. judi dench looked into my very soul when she told me a cat was not a dog, and i still don’t know what she found there. when she started talking about cream and pie i could see munkustrap, he of the Giving This Performance His All, continue his impeccable acting by making faces of delight at her words. oh, munkustrap. even now, at the very end, you brought me joy. thank you, dear cat. thank you. 

[faresramettas]

160219: skam italia x gay center event (part 1)

it’s going to be really hard for me to recap everything that happened yesterday, so i’m going to split this in two parts: one dedicated to the conference and one to the moment when we actually met them and took pictures etc. i’m sure all the things i’m going to report were already said yesterday in tweets and stuff but i wanted to have a place to write them all down cause my memory is so bad. warning: this got long.

the conference 

first of all, kudos to the gay center’s staff. so many people came they couldn’t fit them all in the conference room, so they decided to have a second shorter session so that no one would go home disappointed. they also said that afterwards we’d be able to take selfies and meet pietro, rocco and federico

spoiler alert: pietro, rocco and federico are literal angels. so sweet, funny, honest, humble, intelligent and well-spoken. ludovico bessegato is confident, smart and a savage. he dragged the whole fandom and yet we still love him cause he’s a genius

as soon as ludovico stepped on stage he made it clear that this was not an event about skam only and to please respect that. he said that they wouldn’t talk about season 3 and not to ask about it, and that’s why no info came out

the conference started with a presentation of the gay center. their representative introduced the work they do with the gay help line and talked about really heartbreaking cases of lgbt youth (12 and 14 year olds) who called to report violence from their own families. it was really hard to hear. they showed statistics of discrimination in italy and other data. their point was that skam s2 shows a positive reality where martino is able to come out to his friends and live his truth and his love, but unfortunately we have to be aware that these terrible realities exist too, especially in this country

the skam section started with a question to ludovico about his choice to include the voice messages in the first scene of s2. we watched that scene. he said he knew he wanted to do it from the start but recording and adding the voice messages was the last thing they did, one week before the release of the first clip. he came to the gay center in rome and met the young people and recorded the messages with them (i’m sorry, i’m not sure this is accurate) and he was moved to tears. that’s when he realized how important what they were doing with this season was. he said it was important for him, before showing the easiness of two people who can be together without external hardships, to start the season with the voice messages, as a reminder that these realities also exist

the host asked what was the most important thing for him, what he felt more responsible showing, and ludovico said for him it was the reaction of a group of heterosexual friends to one of their friends coming out. without dramatizing it or simplifying it too much. so the coming out with gio was the hardest scene cause there was a lot of weight on it. giovanni also had to be worthy of the moment. i loved this part: he said for him it was fundamental that giovanni touched martino right after his coming out, because it shows that nothing has changed between them, that they can still have a physical friendship, because so many times this doesn’t happen, straight friends pull back from/become less physical with their gay friends. their friendship not only hasn’t changed but is made more precious now

ludovico researched stuff like the gay street and grindr by experimenting them himself. he went to the gay street in rome and had a mission to get hit on (and he was lmao) and who did he meet that night? ROCCO, who went to the audition the morning after! incredible, he said he didn’t know rocco’s sexual orientation or anything but because he had seen him at the gay street he knew he could help give his input to the series, and of course pietro was precious as well to help with the representation

we watched the coming out scene and it was federico’s turn for questions (you could hear he had a cold, bb), the host asked him about how he felt/prepared for it and he said he felt a lot of pressure but he basically let martino lead him, he trusted his character that he had worked so hard on day after day and he also leaned on ludovico tersigni and bessegato. he hopes as many people as possible can relate to that scene, see themselves in it and live it

federico said the series enlighted him and made him reflect on lgbt themes and problems. he was never one to use homophobic slurs to follow the logic of the “pack” but it’s a thing, when you’re 15 or 16 you think you have to conform to what your friends say and do even if it’s harmful but this is why we have to spread awareness (”bisogna evitare il grigiume dell’uniformità” - we have to avoid the greyness of uniformity, he’s such a poet)

special mention to federico’s beautiful sweater, apparently he bought it in oslo, that sweater made his shoulders look even broader and it’s my new religion 

we watched the milan uramaki/wedding proposal scene and BITCH I HAD NEVER REWATCHED THAT PART CAUSE IT HURTS i swear we were all holding our breaths. that’s when the host asked rocco about gay marriage and he said italy is very late but at least we have civil unions now and it’s been hard fought for. it’s important to talk about gay marriage not so much for younger gens but for older generations. discriminations are always present so you can’t relax even when you reach a goal, you have to fight for the next one

when asked how he pictures his wedding, rocco said marriage is very far in the future for him, but whoever it’s going to be with his wedding is going to be very normal (”everyone naked is not a bad idea tho”) and y’all already know this part, he said he’s a person who’s experimented a lot and he HATES LABELS, for himself and for others (so maybe don’t call him pan king, u know what i’m saying). he’s experimented a lot and tried to figure out what he likes and he likes a little bit of everything (ME PIACE NPO DE TUTTO. i was there. i was there when he said that. iconic) he understands the need for labels cause they can help you identify yourself and give a sense of belonging but there’s also the risk that they can be too limiting

we watched fili’s speech and fede blew a kiss to pietro??? my heart

EMMA STA A ROSICA’ - cit pietro turano (emma is jealous af)

at this point besse DRAGGED US TO HELL AND BACK he said the fandom gets mad at emma and when characters say things that are wrong but it’s hypocritical (cause it’s a realistic show, no?)

he dragged the tumblr sjw politically correctness of fandom and something about how we all say we accept and love everyone but then WE are the first who feel the need to put labels on people and people in boxes. he said IT’S COOL TO HAVE NOORA’S QUOTE IN YOUR BIOS BUT DO ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY STICK TO ITS MEANING? YOU’RE THE FIRST WHO AREN’T KIND smth like that i swear i was a bit stunned

he also really didn’t like how everyone spoiled scenes and clips, ruining the experience for everyone while also creating false expectations, cause we expect things to happen and get mad if they don’t (ngl as a person who hasn’t watched the og i was like yeah tell em). idk, basically at the end of the speech all i got is that he’s an emma apologist

pietro said so many amazing things, like that when we have that moment of awareness, when we realize we are victims of behavioral schemes, prejudices and stereotypes deeply rooted in society, that’s when we can change the world. idk he’s seriously such a well-spoken smart person and he’s only 22

he also said in a video i have posted here that positive lgbt representations in tv shows/films are SO important for young people cause they need to see that there’s a positive reality out there for them too, that gay characters aren’t only the psychos, the ones who kill themselves or suffer

host dragged ludo for not including a beyonce song in the gay season but he said we can expect satisfactions from fili in s3

fede took the gay test and ludo told him the answers to get the totally hetero results, but when ludo took the test his result was Not totally hetero

rocco knows he looks like edward cullen, actually it was his first girlfriend when he was like 14 and before twilight was a thing that told him that he looked like cedric diggory aka rob pattinson. when twilight happened it all went downhill. the vampire outfit in the halloween clip was Not Casual. actually they had a line when someone told nico he looked like edward but it didn’t make the cut

fede said the hardest scenes, not because he couldn’t get in character but because of the expectations and pressures were the ones with mamma rametta (<333) and the coming out with gio. but the scene he hated the most was the i wanna be yours scene cause he said he went cross-eyed (è venuta di merda - it came out like shit)

host asked who’s top and bottom and they all laughed about it don’t worry (although i know someone asked again in the second session? and they said they switch idk, whatever)

at the end there was not a lot of time for questions but as soon as the host asked if we had any i IMMEDIATELY shot my hand up cause i thought i would regret it if i didn’t ask. so i stood up and pietro came to give me the mic (<33333333) and I WAS SO NERVOUS but i thanked them for all their work and then i asked rocco how he felt representing a character that’s not only lgbt but suffers from a mi, that he did a WONDERFUL job doing it because he helped so many people who suffer from bpd/mi to identify with niccolò (i accidentally said multiple personality disorder instead of borderline and i am so embarrassed but i swear. i couldn’t. think. i apologized too) if he felt he had more responsibility and if he could talk about the milan scene. he said he did feel a double responsibility and an additional pressure because henrik holm already did a splendid job, but he dealt with it like any other role, worked on the character like any other and tried to do it justice. he didn’t treat it differently. the milan scene was hard cause it was the very last one they did but they also had so much fun. he told us about bessegato pranking him and making him yell TABBBBASCOOOOO when he was running around naked in milan

i feel like i should mention that in the second session rocco said federico is a really good kisser (”bacia da dio” literally means “kisses like a god”)

that’s all i have and sorry this was so long. the conference was truly incredible. but meeting them afterwards was even more so and that’ll be part 2

[heoneyology]

Monsta X "We Are Here” in LA

I’m doing this before I completely lose all memory of the concert!!! askljafsdf I actually had an audio recording of me going through the hi touch line that I was attempting to normalize before posting this so I could kinda do it together?? but unfortunately the audio is kind of funky and I can’t get it to work :’)) literally the only interaction you can make out is between me and wonho.

anyway of my concerts I’ve been to this year, I would rank monsta x as the best overall performance-wise, and second in management. there were some hiccups on the side of powerhouse that left me waiting in line 4+ hours which was not the greatest but at least monbebe are the sweetest people in the world and I made 5 friends that day to a concert I went to alone and was kind of anxious about. by the time management came around and said we could come back later to pick everything up, we were all pretty dedicated to just waiting in line... basically management didn’t have tickets for ult vip and vip + all the freebies ready so despite being a numbered queue I still spent all but like 2-3 hours of my day in line, something I was hoping to avoid this time around.

uhhh so I’m just gonna go through what I remember, below the cut is a concert recap and hi touch recap! sorry for how long this is!

concert recap

the announcement about kihyun having injured himself started to circulate when we were all in line around 4-5pm waiting to get back in to the venue, and the hashtag for kihyun immediately picked up after that but it kind of shifted the energy of a lot of people waiting in line (which was weird to experience in a sense, it was kind of surreal, everyone was really worried about him)

of 21,000 people in the stadium, of a sold out concert, I ended up with one person in front of me I wanted to cry :’))

I literally, in my life, have only ever left one concert before this one (and it wasn’t a kpop concert) practically deaf.

they opened with shoot out and idk who decided to turn down the bass but being right in the pit next to the speakers you could literally feel the floor rumble as soon as the music started klajdlkfjsf

seriously the concert ended and I felt like I was underwater I couldn’t hear worth shit, I couldn’t hear clearly until halfway through the next day I literally thought something in my ears got fucked up

the screen rose and my eyes found jooheon immediately and I’m not sure if I lost all sense of self when they performed hero, the second song, or when I saw the screen lift and reveal him to be quite honest

watching kihyun separate from the boys and walk over to a chair on the other side of the stage almost fucking broke my heart at the start of the concert but oh my god if I could explain the look on his face? he didn’t seem to mind that he was injured, he was living out his dream and he was in a state of bliss and his smile and the way he was looking at the crowd... seeing him that happy made me want to bawl...

kihyun’s eye smile in person is probably the purest thing on the planet

hero is one of my favorite songs and hearing it live oH MY GOD- also the energy during trespass holy shit I can’t even explain it??

jooheon’s rap for trespass live is on some other fucking level

minhyuk, kihyun, and jooheon spent a lot of their time on my side of the stage so I have a lot of videos of them

sometime between the end of party time and start of play it cool I decided to stop recording and just kind of focus on cheering for the boys because kihyun kept walking by and I was trying to give him lots of love but uh jooheon was walking back towards the main part of the stage and I was holding up my lightstick against my phone (with my photocards of jooheon facing the stage) and uH JOOHEON SAW BRIEFLY AND POINTED AND WAVED AT ME I DON’T THINK I WAS COHERENT I ASCENDED-

jooheon also told a girl in our little area of the pit that he liked her headband it was the cutest interaction aklsdjfsk (there were a lot of jooheon stans in our area I chose the perfect spot tbh)

I forget what song it was after but streamers fell from the ceiling and at the end kihyun bunched all the streamers on stage up together and his small frame was carrying this ball of streamers almost as big as him and in front of my area of the pit he decided to throw the streamers and they didn’t go very far and he just... paused... and stared at the ball... then continued on his way... it was really funny akjldskfj he’s the cutest boy alive??? probably?

minhyuk is rude as fuck and his hips don’t lie he came over multiple times during fallin to fucking just... with his hips... in front of us... wheezes-

sambakja was my favorite unit stage for obvious reasons aklsdjdfjsdf jooheon came out and I realized what time it was and my only thought was uh oh here we go like fuck can he fuck up my bias list any more he’s my bias how does he keep?? doing shit???

I don’t really remember if he just dropped it or like it flew into the air or something but jooheon dropped one of his drumsticks and the little gasp that left me in the middle of this loud ass crowd it was laugh-worthy

jooheon had me convinced he was gonna crack a cymbal please calm down boy-

the VCRs were amazing shownu’s was an asmr mukbang and he kept shushing it was adorable and jooheon... jooheon cooked... that domestic au, wow, I love him...

myself was my second favorite unit stage, or tied with the maknae line’s tbh I was super sad when kihyun was sitting but god hyungwon, minhyuk, and kihyun in those suits and the song and the choreo alkjdflkjsdf

for all the photos of wonho during the mirror stage I’m surprised there aren’t more of shownu?? he was absolutely stunning I can’t even put it into words, wonho looked great but... shownu... had my full attention...

DJ H.ONE’S SET WAS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING EVER THE ENTIRE STADIUM WAS JAMMING OUT

hyungwon stopped and stared at monbebe’s a lot in awe and I stared at him in awe it was the sweetest thing, it melted my heart

jooheon did a lot of funky dorky things going back and forth across the stage I can’t even sum them all up??? like at one point he was doing this kind of crab crouch thing idek- and then at one point coming back toward the end I think minhyuk? asked him to show his abs and he teased lifting his shirt right in front of our section, I almost died-

monsta x and the fucking bottle flip was a kind of chaos I can’t explain

at one point minhyuk was chanting, “if I’m success, I am king,” and changkyun had to tell him to watch his pronunciation because it sounded like “if I am sex, I am king” like that’s the kind of chaos it was-

minhyuk pulled up hyungwon’s shirt to expose his abs at one point but all I really saw was his back from where I was but hyungwon’s reaction as minhyuk ran for his life aklsjdkfjs

my favorite interaction of the night had to be when minhyuk, hyungwon, and kihyun were discussing the myself stage and minhyuk was prompted to explain it in one word and he started to very very very slowly spell out “sexy” and he only got to s-e-x and paused long and dramatically before saying the y and monbebe were literally losing it screaming and he just kind of glanced at the crowd taken aback and then hyungwon just goes, “I think today he’s a little drunken, sorry!”

also during that interaction they made kihyun laugh and the poor boy was like, “don’t make me laugh, it hurts!” and I was ready to jump on stage and fight minhyuk tbh for making him laugh

I don’t remember what stage we were waiting for, I think it was h.one, but there was a very long pause and THE MONBEBE IN THE STADIUM STARTED DOING THE WAVE WITH OUR LIGHSTICKS AND WE GOT IT TO GO AROUND AT LEAST 7 TIMES, COOLEST FUCKING FANDOM EVER-

kihyun, jooheon, and changkyun’s ending ment made me cry. kihyun explained how standing on staples stage was his dream and it was so hard to stay mad at him for performing while he was injured. jooheon just... the love he has for everyone god that boy my heart... and then changkyun explaining the staples dream since their first kcon made me tear up and wow I’m so proud of them-

meanwhile shownu’s ending ment was him telling monbebe we’re an in-n-out burger LOL I love a simple minded intellect

hi touch recap

okay so for hi touch I was fucking exhausted, as I said I’ve only ever been to one concert that completely drowned out my senses and so by the time I got to the boys I wasn’t really coherent. in comparison to my past hi touches I wouldn’t say I fucked up because I wasn’t nervous but... I was just too tired to form words... maybe someday I’ll get this hi touch thing right!!!

for reference of my descriptions of them: I’m 5′7″ with small hands. all the boys were taller than me, so I did look up at them a bit.

kihyun wasn’t present due to his injury. this list is in order of how they appeared in line:

SHOWNU: I saw shownu and my heart melted, although I was very confused for a split second walking up to him (which probably messed up my train of thought more, because I wanted to simply just say to him “best leader!!”) because a staff dude that was ushering the line forward stepped in front of me to grab something off the table like dude wtf is with your timing-

anyway... shownu... is literally a god among men. the pictures don’t do him justice. he’s so handsome, so beautiful. he glows. he’s tall, I remember actually tilting my head back just a bit to look up at him. and he’s so tan and beautiful and his persona glows!!! he had on his trademark crinkly eye smile, which gave off a very reassuring, calming, and dorky air which really made me less nervous if I was nervous at all (I just remember being exhausted). he feels calm and safe.

I saw him and my heart melted and immediately I just blurted out, “hi!” in the most awed and amazed tone. I don’t remember if he replied but he smiled really cutely and he looked like such a boyfriend with his snapback on backwards and his concert shirt on, like you could literally hug the boy and with the air he gives off he feels so safe and comfortable and wow I love son hyunwoo!! he has really nice arms too, he was standing up straight and tall with his broad shoulders oof, and his hands were cold, kind of broad with long fingers.

CHANGKYUN: pictures don’t actually do changkyun any justice either, to be completely honest? he’s perfect in real life. he looks like a sculpture. him and shownu have to be the most handsome men in the entire world, I swear. his features are so defining and up close they’re that much more prominent. he’s literally drop dead gorgous. I don’t know how to explain it-

despite the intensity this boy gives on stage he’s really soft and intense in a more private way. I was already putty after seeing shownu up close but he was just an absolute sweetheart. I think he knew half the people going through the line were insanely nervous. the girl in front of me (who I ended up making friends with earlier in the day) biases him and managed to tell him she loved him and in reply he actually said, “I love you, too.” meanwhile my tired ass simply said “hi” to him and he said it back and his voice is so smooth and raspy and like... his voice is so soft and comforting. he was speaking quietly and kind of privately to each monbebe and making it sort of personal he’s so thoughtful and kind.

he was also half sitting on the table, like he had a leg up and was leaning against it and would kind of lean forward just a bit every time he high-fived someone. his hands were probably the coldest of all the members and he had long hands and a slender wrist. he also was very small and like... slender? overall?? he was still taller than me, though, so not small in that way.

HYUNGWON: is he... is he a fairy?? he didn’t even seem real. like I can’t even process that I saw and touched his hand... is he really real... hyungwon is so freaking pretty in real life and he’s tall and kind of lanky but he’s beautiful! he’s so tiny though a good strong wind could blow him away he was so freaking petite? and his hair was so fluffy!!! his hands are also very petite and long, and his fingers are so long. like my hands felt extra tiny high-fiving his...

but oh my god the way he looked at every monbebe though like?? he was so insanely happy to be there and to be saying hi to all the monbebe coming through the line. that look of awe I said he looked at the crowd with a lot during the concert? that was on his face during the hi touch. and each time a new person stepped up to him a little light lit up in his eyes and they sparkled, he was the cutest boy ever!

WONHO: okay so rip to any wonbebes that went through the line because if I had any sense or if I hadn’t been as exhausted as I was, I probably would have died. wonho. wonho literally was sitting half on the table, leaning across the table, with his hand stretched outward and I swear to god if there hadn’t been a table there he probably would’ve been in every single monbebe’s face. that table needed to be there. it was holding wonho back from monbebe, not the other way around kaljsd;lkfjsdf.

this boy though. I love him. the love he has for monbebe. it emanates from him. literally rolls off him in waves. from the way he was leaning forward and greeting people as they stepped up to him to the way the light shone in his eyes. he makes eye contact with you and he looks at you like you’re the entire center of the universe. and the soft, yet awed smile that was on his face. he literally looked like he was in love?? wonho’s pure love for monbebe never ceases to amaze me and seeing it in person, just... wow. but honestly rip to wonbebes because having him lean across the table with how buff he is can be slightly intimidating.

he’s the only one I remember my interaction with clearly, besides with jooheon. as I said hi, at the same time he blurted out, “nice to meet!” (not even a you at the end, just “nice to meet!”) in such a singsong, happy voice!! he was the only one with a warm hand of all the members, and they were broad, a bit meatier? idk if that’s a good word? with thicker fingers. they were smaller than other members but bigger than mine still. also his biceps are... and his broad shoulders... his muscles are no joke. that close it’s intimidating yet he’s the softest teddy bear I could cry.

MINHYUK: oh my god I have tunnel vision I am so fucking sorry I... don’t remember minhyuk. or my interaction with him?? I said hi, I think he said hi back??? he was loud, too, like his whole personality is loud... I remember him being taller than me, I remember very clearly his bright red headband and his fluffy mop of hair, and the fact that he literally had a :D smile on his face. but jooheon was on the other side of him and??? I have fucking tunnel vision I’m so sorry minhyuk-

minhyuk’s hand was really cold next to changkyun’s, but he has really long, broad hands with long fingers... his hands were huge... I remember his hand being in front of my face and him being on the other side of his hand and I remember looking at his hand to make sure I high fived him correctly but I was hyperaware of jooheon at this point, sorry to any minhyuk stans I have let down kalsjdfljdsf I’ll do better next year...

JOOHEON: okay so part of the reason I was hyperaware of jooheon while interacting with minhyuk was the fact that I saw jooheon smile at my monbebe line friend in front of me and I saw dimples and my eyes and heart practically lept out of my chest for him I really am so soft for and love jooheon akljsdkfjs. I stepped up to jooheon and at that moment my exhaustion went away for the split second to remind myself of all my previous hi touch mishaps and not to fuck it up with jooheon.

he looked so jooheon alkjdfsf he had on his hat and rag from the end of the show, and he was casually sitting on the table leaning against the wall behind him. his hand was also cold, and he has very slender and long hands and small wrists and long fingers. my hands were tiny... as soon as I high-fived him, I made eye contact with him and told him and I loved him, and jooheon literally went, “Yeee!” and smiled at me and his dimples poked through and he did that thing where he widens his eyes and raised his eyebrows?? here’s a gif for reference, it’s the third one in the set. he kept eye contact with me and I think I fucking shut down at some point because I giggled like a damn school girl as I walked away and almost collapsed in the lobby of the staples center when I caught up with my line friends.

also to any joobebes, guard your heart carefully because that boy’s eyes actually sparkle in person. I held eye contact with him so long that I noticed his little eye mole and his eye sparkle? his face is a little bit thinner up close but he still has those pudgy cheeks and full lips and he borders somewhere between absolutely fucking gorgeous and the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on? and he’s a lot tanner in person??

anyway yes I love jooheon can you tell he’s an ult-

if you stuck around this long thank you for reading :’))

[spaceorphan18]

Make Mine Music

So, Disney put all of it’s Animated Feature Films on Disney+ except this one.  Why? I’m not entirely sure? The Google isn’t being much help.  Maybe it’s because the first short is questionable in taste? It was edited out of the rare DVD releases.  I expected something explicitly racist but nothing stands out as such.  My biggest guess is that they couldn’t secure the rights to some of the songs, which is usually the case.  Who knows.  I expect at some point it’ll make its way back into the Disney canon. 

Meanwhile, though, all is not lost - I could find all the shorts on YouTube and other such video platforms.  Yay?  

So here we go, a run down of shorts you’ve probably not ever heard of.  

The Martins and the Coys - 

So, we kick it off with the most controversial little short.  It’s inspired by the whole Hatfields and McCoys thing -- which makes me wonder who thought that was a good idea to adapt into a children’s cartoon.  The story revolves around a bunch of dumbass rednecks who proceed to shoot each other dead until there are only two left.  And.  I had to stop and think about it as I was watching it.  It’s a cartoon, so it’s not graphic, and the ghosts all end up on clouds.  But --- this cartoon, seriously, had all of these idiots shoot each other dead in the first minute of this cartoon.  It’s incredibly morbid, and not really funny as Disney’s trying to make it off to be.  

The real ‘story’ is about a girl and boy left over from each family (lord help me, idk who is who), and they decide to fall in love instead -- except it’s stupid and dumb.  There’s nothing sweet about it.  Then there’s a five minute sequence of square dancing at the wedding, and afterwards, the girl and boy go back home, and still fight out the feud, because domestic violence is fun in kids’ cartoons.  

The whole cartoon is in bad taste, and I can see why they’d want to leave it behind.  Also, as a side note, the newlywed couple drive off in a car.  Which drives me crazy because this is the mid-19th century and no.  

Blue Bayou -

This was, like, a deleted scene from Fantasia, which was originally supposed to be set to Clair de Lune.  It’s literally just two birds flying around a literal blue bayou.  It would have worked, I think with the original music.  Instead, it’s the Ken Darby Singers singing a horrible song called Blue Bayou.  The audio quality doesn’t help it any - it truly horrid thing to listen to for five minutes.  But at least the animation is pretty.  

All the Cats Join In - 

So, the teens of Everytown USA dance to Benny Goodman.  That’s pretty much it.  I side-eye the fact that there’s an extended sequence where the teenage girl is drawn getting into and out of the shower merely because it seems the animators wanted to draw a nude girl.  You can also see the panties of the girls dancing, and there’s extended sequence where one of the girls gets upset that the animator made her butt look big.  Whatever.  Kind of opposite of the previous piece, I preferred the music over what was going on on screen. 

I’m also disappointed there weren’t more cats in something that self-identified as a cari’cat’ture.  

Without You - 

Unfortunately, it’s still decades before U2, and we’re subjected to this not great, depressing jazzy/Latino song about some dude waxing poetic, literally, abut missing the girl he loves.   The art is half way interesting as it tries to mimic the nonsensical lyrics of the song.  But the music was just irritating.  Again, recordings from the 40s, in general, don’t hold up well, but I’m also not a fan of this style of music nor this musical interpretation.  Sorry, Andy Russell. I’m sure you were a fine musician in your day. 

Casey at the Bat - 

I thought I had seen this one before somewhere, but the more I watched it, the more I realized that maybe I was just familiar with the poem.  It’s by far the most cartoonish and aimed at five-year-olds than anything that’s come before it, and I’m a bit meh on it.  By far the most interesting thing is the 40s comedic interpretation of the 1890s. 

Two Silhouettes - 

It’s two ballerina dancers (one male, one female) dancing to the title song.  You can tell that they’re live action people rotoscoped (apparently that’s what this is called) into the animation.  I mean.  You can tell that they were super excited about the idea of it -- especially, probably, after what they were doing with The Three Caballeros.  But silhouettes don’t really fit in (especially to the eyes of someone who is used to seamless CGI), and there’s a lot going on in the background, and most of it is not aesthetically pleasing.  Especially the color palette, which is kind of a barrage of colors that don’t look great together.  But mostly, this segment is just boring. 

Peter and the Wolf - 

This one I know I’ve seen before - most likely because it’s set to Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf, and I’m sure I watched in college to see how someone animated a short based on the narration of the music.  It’s the most straightforward cartoon so far, and turned way down compared to Casey at the Bat, which is a good thing.  It’s fine, it works.  Can’t say it was the most compelling thing, but it’s better than most everything else so far. 

After You've Gone - 

Another Benny Goodman piece.  I like Benny Goodman, so the music is at least enjoyable, and I’ll take the energetic pieces over the dreadfully boring ballads we keep getting.  The animation is the jazz instruments doing abstract things.  It’s fine.  The instruments on screen are reflecting what the music is doing in that moment, and while that should sound like an interesting idea, it’s really not that interesting on screen.  

Johnny Fedora and Alice Blue Bonnet - 

A fedora and a bonnet fall in love, and when they’re separated, the fedora has pines for his lost love until they reunite as hats for horses.  Thrilling, right? 

It does include the line: make your heart gay again.  And now I’m sad this isn’t about the fedora finding another fedora he can be life mates with. 

The Whale Who Wanted to Sing at the Met -

Well, I mean, ending on opera feels poetic if nothing else.  There’s a whale who sings, and a dude who thinks he’s swallowed opera singers instead of just being a whale who sings, because that is clearly more logical.  We get a montage of what looks like a meteoric rise to fame, only to find out that tragically the whale is harpooned instead of made famous.  I feel like there’s a metaphor in there somewhere.  While perhaps the most complex and compelling of all the shorts, I’m meh about opera, so I suppose I can just appreciate this for at least being innovated at the least. 

Final Thoughts: I don’t really understand who the intended audience for these shorts are.  Some are too silly for adults, while others are too drab and boring for kids (and lets face it - audiences who aren’t adults in the 40s).  

It felt more like the animators, who were scrapped for time because war, just threw things together that they were thought were interesting ideas, and nothing got really developed.  I’m also beginning to fully be fascinated by Disney’s obsession with the idea of parring music with visuals -- a theme in all of his films so far.  

I’m not sure any of this is outstanding work outside of mere curiosity from never having seen it before.   At least this calmer and, in a way, more enjoyable to sit through than the pummeling of whatever was on the screen during The Three Caballeros.  

[btsrabbithole]

Ok so let me just report here as well my experience at the 181013 Love Yourself Tour show in Amsterdam. You can find all about it also here and here; if you already read what I wrote there, this is basically the same thing so don’t even bother lol.

First of all I have to tell you that the night before the concert me and my friend @hforhoseok went out of town to spend the night with some of my dutch friends and we came back at 4AM, so we actually slept 4 hours and arrived at the Ziggo Dome at 11 basically still hangover.. do NOT recommend lmao. Once there, the line was soo long, but pretty nice.. the weather was so good and the people around me were mostly chill! It looked like a festival, also because so many of us were wearing yellow clothes and flower crowns. I didn't even bother to go in line for the BTS studio since I would've had to stand in that line for about 3 hours, and the line for the ot7 picture was also too long, so I just gave up.. I wanted to keep my strenght for the actual show! I already kinda expected it so it was fine. Of course when they opened the gates at 5PM it was a bit chaotic, but nothing too extreme; the only problem was that when we were almost there they put us in three parallels lines so they didn't really respect a first comes first serves rule.. also the ground near the entrance was disgusting!! I really don’t get the whole camping thing, but if you wanna do it at least clean after yourself.. but whatever. Once inside, I kinda sprinted towards the spot I wanted to be in, so near the extended stage on the right, and I was pretty close considering I came there not so early!! Also once again I was surrounded by the chillest and nicest people ever. While waiting for the actual show to start they played the usual mvs, and I know we say this every time but it really felt like a cult because everyone knew all the songs and fanchants!! It’s just something I'll never get used to.

Now, talking about the actual concert!! I’m not gonna talk about every song they did or this would be an endless post lol. But let me just start by saying that when they came out it was CRAZY!! They looked so small to me since I was by the extended stage, but still I could not believe I was actually seeing them with my own two eyes. When they introduced themselves I finally saw them a little bit better and WTF they looked like gods, it's honestly unfair. Hearing Hoseok doing his “I’m your hope..” bit was also unreal!! I’ll post everything I recorded later on, but it’s not that much as I was either jumping and dancing like crazy, or in total shock and basically paralyzed.

It took me the entire Hobi’s and Jk’s vcr to realize... I was about to see Hoseok dancing and singing to Just Dance. Needless to say it was an otherworldly experience. I love that song so much and when he came to the extended stage I went batshit crazy. He’s born to be a performer. I love him so much!

Then it was Jungkook’s turn. Baby! He couldn't dance to Euphoria, even if for the rest of the concert he danced and walked around quite a bit. He sang so quietly yet so perfectly.. he eats cds for breakfast but we been knew. He took off his earpeace to hear us sing and it was so beautiful. I was in total awe.

With I NEED U (which was epic, everyone was singing every word of it) they all came on the extended stage, and let me tell you once again, they look unreal. They look so good, and as everbody always says, even better than what you see in pictures and videos. They try to look at us and have some kind of contact so much too! I'm pretty tall and I had shorter people before me, so I had so many eye contacts with them. I can’t believe I lived to tell the tale lol. When Hoseok first came to our side me and the girl beside me jumped so high waving and shaking our army bombs and he gave us the biggest brightest smile, like you know the one he does from one ear to the other, and istg I've seen the sun with my own to eyes and will never recover from it. But NEVER IN MY LIFE I would have thought that the person I was about to have the most interactions with was the one and only MIN YOONGI. Crazy!!! I guess they were all mostly looking at the very first rows or far away, while Yoongi was looking right in our area a lot more? And I guess as I was a bit taller we met eyes quite often!! Or at least that was my impression, but you can never tell for sure. Anyways I tried to sing my heart out every time he came close but idk if he noticed it lol. In any case I can’t believe I survived it.

Later on, Serendipity was so good. Jimin sang it so perfectly, and the way he dances is just so enchanting.. we were all singing it with him and he looked so happy. I hope he spent the best birthday ever. He deserve it all!!!

Right after that it was Namjoon’s turn, and WHEN I TELL YOU WE SCREAMED SO MUCH FOR LOVE. The people who said the crowd didn’t really cheered for him were clearly not there because everybody just sang it from start to finish! It was so loud and Joon looked so happy. I'm so damn proud!!!

When they came again to the extended stage though I got so mad because there were a couple of girls who held these damn banners for the entire time.. like that was SO smart.. I really couldn't see anything. So please just DON'T DO THIS.

But ps: yes I'VE SEEN JIN'S ABS AND WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM IT. The girl beside me was Jin biased and almost started crying lol.

The medley was so good and once again the crowd sang like crazy. We maybe didn't know all the fanchants, but we were singing along the entire songs so imo it was even better. In the words of Jeon Jungkook: it was LIT! I can’t even say anything about Baepsae because if you know me you know I’ve yet to recover from it. SHE’S MEDITATING (SHE’S DIED).

WELL then the next part of the concert is when I really ascended to another dimension. As I already said over and over I don’t know WHO THOUGHT THAT PUTTING SINGULARITY SEESAW EPIPHANY TTU AND TEAR one after the other was gonna be ok.. like it was a full on personal attack!! I knew I wasn't going to survive it and I didn't!!!

Singularity was insane. We screamed so much before it started and when it ended, but during the performance we were just in shock and total awe. Taehyung is truly a smooth motherfucker, he put a spell on the entire crowd and we were totally hypnotized by it. I still have chills thinking about it.. it’s one of my all time favourite songs so I still can’t believe I saw it live.

And YES I know there’s supposed to be Fake Love at this point BUT I unfortunately saw just the first seconds of it because one of the girls near me fainted and dropped her head on the ground! As I told you my area was pretty chill so she probably was too tired or dehydrated. Please be careful!! I hope she's ok. Anyways I saw the very first part of the choreography and the part in which Jimin “pulls” Hoseok up so I’m happy with it.

After that, it was Yoongi’s turn. Seesaw was so good!! He had so much fun with it. When he appeared on the couch the crowd went OFF. Can't believe I saw him doing his lil dance with my own two eyes! (sorry I’m probably repeating this every time but it’s just how I feel, I don’t mean to brag at all). I sang along to it as loud as possible and almost already lost my voice.

OOF then Epiphany started... and I still have chills!!! Jin is a damn vocal king, I love him so much. We sang along the entire song and it was so emotional!! Hearing so many people singing I'M THE ONE I SHOULD LOVE at once is just so powerful. 

The Truth Untold right after was so so emotional as well. They sang it so beautifully and with so much passion, and we all sang along with them and cried. I just love them so much.

NOW, I don't even know how I can describe Tear but I’ll try. This is my friggin song. I was already crying after TTU and knowing Tear was coming I started bawling my eyes out.. then I saw the green lights and started shaking so much!! I had to take off my necklace, I dropped both my hair tie and my fan, I mean I was really going THRU IT. Tear means so much to me.. it was so good.. I met eyes with Yoongi once again while singing it and crying my eyes out and it meant the world. I just wanna thank them so much.

Ok then idk who thought of putting MIC Drop right after Tear because I was still in total shock and I had to start the fanchants while still shaking lmao!! But it was so cool. The crowd sang all the fanchants and they were all so hyped!! The choreo is so good too and dancing along to it was so fun. Insane!

When they came back after a little break it was kinda bittersweet, because I knew the concert was about to end. Still, So What was soo fun!! We went crazy and everybody was singing and jumping. So many of them came near us and it was the craziest experience!! Once again I had Yoongi right in front of me.. seriously don't know how I survived the night. OH also Jin sprinting to reach Taehyung for their usual bit was the funniest thing ever!! I didn’t see Jk doing the shoot dance tho :( , but I’m so glad he did!!

Then Anpanman was so nice!! They have so much fun with it and seeing so many people in the crowd making the superhero pose was the cutest thing ever. Also the Namjoon bit with Jimin was so sweet!

After that they started the ending ment and LMAO I mean I know we were in Amsterdam, but I think at least 50% of us if not more came from abroad, so I still don't know half of what they said because the translator was speaking in dutch. I still haven’t found translations if not for Jk’s ment, so please if you found some send them to me.. Anyways I kinda got something as dutch can be similar to english sometimes, and ofc I understood their english speeches BLESS THEM. They were so funny and cute. I may have written this already a thousand times but I friggin love them so much. Wen Jimin started his ment I wore the happy birthday glasses I brought and I think both he and Namjoon saw it and smiled!! ;____;

The last song was ofc Answer: Love Myself.. but I can’t really say anything about it if not that I was an emotional trainwreck. I didn't record anything because I wanted to enjoy every last moment to the fullest. I miss them already.

BUT! Let me tell you that when Namjoon came near us singing I basically serenade him the you've shown me I have reason I should love myself bit and told him thank you as many times as I could and sent him a couple of flying kisses and he looked so happy and proud :( . Istg it's so difficult to meet eyes with him but I’d like to think we at least got that moment.

And that sneaky motherfucker JUNG HOSEOK. He came near us and I jumped so much and sent him a thousand flying kisses and he frigging smirked at me and made the smuggest face I've ever seen in my life!!! Like HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE AFTER SOMETHING LIKE THIS. If anyone finds a video of him smirking like crazy while staying on the right side of the stage and wearing the white tshirt please send it to me!! I couldn’t find it anywhere.

Unfortunately I didn't make eye contact with either Taehyung or Jungkook, but they came close to us pretty often so this is more than enough!! Seokjin was one of the last of them who came nearby to say goodbye but he was just looking far away.. so I screamed the loudest KIM SEOKJIN!!! I could and he finally looked in our direction! He's truly worldwide handsome AND worldwide cutie guy.

And I guess that's it lol. I miss them. I'll never forget this. I hope I'll see them soon. They deserve everything and more. I love them so much!!!!!

[cookinguptales]

So while I was in NYC, I got to see Mean Girls, Spongebob Squarepants, and Anastasia. It was really a combination of lottery winnings and tkts, though I did splurge and get myself the Mean Girls ticket ahead of time. Despite how I got the rest of the tickets, I actually had pretty good seats at all the shows! So that part was nice.

More in-depth thoughts under a cut, but can I just say how weird it is that like... I think I had the most fun at Spongebob? I only went bc I won the lottery but like. I genuinely enjoyed that show. lol. Reminds me of when I went to see Shrek: The Musical on a lark with my friend, and we were shocked that it’s actually a great show.

I saw Spongebob first, an evening show. It was also my most high-pain day, so I have to admit that something funny and a little stupid (with a good heart) was probably exactly what I needed. The music was fun and catchy (not a shock, I guess, considering the people they got to do music for them) and the actors did a really spectacular job. I realized after coming home that I had some different actors than appear on the recording, but I liked my actors more. The Mr. Krabs I saw sounded so spot-on that it was a little creepy, lol, and our Plankton was super fun. I was kind of shocked when the guy who played Squidward started talking in a straight-up British accent after the show, lmao.

I laughed at a lot of the jokes, and though I never really expected to see Patrick Star leading a cult, it was apparently exactly what I wanted out of my evening. Plus, it actually had some pretty good lessons for kids. Don’t turn on each other and scapegoat immigrants when bad things happen, think for yourselves and always try to fix problems rather than running away from them, sometimes people say things that sound profound but won’t actually help you, diversity is valuable… I think it kind of veered into a trope I’m not in love with (immigrants are great because they’re useful) but I think it was also good for kids to see a character who was female (and played by a black woman) who was fantastic at science, kind, determined, and the one who ultimately saves the day. I also liked that the show was clear that her pain and wariness didn’t go away just because people started accepting her again. I think it managed to go in on some really good lessons without ever feeling preachy about it.

Plus, again, the show was just super fun. I love how it played with the space (like the way the actors kept interacting with the band and the conductor) and the jokes were genuinely funny. Patchy wandering around and trying to crash the show was great. The songs were catchy and fun and it was really cohesively done. Also, I think it really managed to nail the feeling of the characters and this underwater world without being too on-the-nose. (I’m looking at you, Little Mermaid.)

Was it the deepest, most memorable show I’ve ever seen? No. But it was a lot of fun, and fun is frankly what I needed right then.

Next, I saw Mean Girls. I’ll admit that my enjoyment of this show was marred by a couple things. It’s not the most accessible theater (I never did get to see the merch booth…) and the lead actress was out. There was a standby actress who could play like… 6-7 different characters? And I was really ??? when I saw that, like. There were really two options. Either she’s the best actress on earth, who can totally transform herself so she can play such diverse roles… or she’s generic af. Unfortunately, she turned out to be the latter. Like, don’t get me wrong! She was technically proficient and could sing really well! She just didn’t feel like Cady. There was something missing there, y’know? Some spark or charisma. She was just boring to watch, which kind of dampened the whole show. I overheard that it was her first time playing Cady, though, so idk. Maybe she was just nervous.

That aside, though, I did enjoy the show! It was a Wednesday (so I did wear pink) and it had a lot of the heart of the movie. It was really funny, and I liked how Janice and Damien were used to frame the show. They made for great, hilarious narrators. I really enjoyed most of the songs, too. Some were a little forgettable, I’ll admit, but others were really touching (particularly Gretchen’s solos) or super funny. Damien sings a whole song about how sometimes you just need to STOP and I loved it. The song was hilarious. The script itself was packed with good stuff. There were great jokes and good social commentary, more depth for some of the forgotten side characters and some really touching moments.

Plus, Cady aside, the rest of the actors did a tremendous job. My one gripe with the original movie is that… idk, the actress who played Regina George never quite felt like she could actually be a queen bee in a real school. Is that weird to say? The other girls around her just felt prettier and more charismatic, so it was hard to buy that she would actually be in charge. The Regina in the musical, though? Holy shit, you feel it. That woman could walk through Times Square and every eye would be on her. She did an absolutely fantastic job with Regina, and the other huge standouts to me were Gretchen and Janice. Just excellent, excellent jobs all around. I really love how much time the show gave to Gretchen so you could really get where she was coming from. Get that poor girl a therapist, honestly.

I think part of the problem is that, all things considered, it’s difficult not to compare Mean Girls to Heathers. And frankly, Heathers is a better show, imo. They’re both good! But I do sort of feel like Mean Girls could’ve gone in a little harder, and its music wasn’t nearly as memorable as Heathers’s. That said, like Heathers, Mean Girls: The Musical has a LOT more potential for f/f than the movie. lmao. And isn’t that really what we’re all here for?

(I mean no, probably not, but it’s what I’m here for.)

The third show I saw was Anastasia, and I gotta admit it. I’m shocked how much I didn’t like Anastasia. I’ve been wanting to see it for ages because that movie was my childhood, but I bounced hard off that show. Like I was kind of hanging in there for the first act, but I was literally wishing I could check my watch during the second act. Plus we had an u/s for Dmitri and he was. Not fabulous. I always feel bad saying that about understudies but like. He was……… not fabulous. So the criticisms I have going forward about Dmitri in the show might be colored by that. Bear with me.

Now, the show is super different from the movie. And I understand why they chose to go for realism rather than fantasy, but I disagree with that choice very, very firmly. Not only did it make the whole show a real fucking downer, but like… I feel like when you make movies about real people, you either have to go completely realistic or go real fucking far off the deep end. Like the movie really went in on the near-mythic stature that Anastasia and Rasputin had in history and folklore during that period. It went in hard with magic and zombies and had a real fairy tale feeling that only really worked because of the wild tales people were already telling about the historical personages. No one watched the animated movie about Anastasia and went “wow, I bet that’s just like real life”.

The show decided that they wanted to be more realistic and talk about like. God, execution of political prisoners and people starving in the streets and refugees and just generally the politics of Leningrad. So not only was that fucking depressing, but it really pulled things back to be like… If you’re being all realistic about this, shouldn’t you be more realistic about the real life people you’re using for this story? This isn’t how Anastasia’s life went, and I can buy that in a fantasy what if? AU, but when you’re aiming for gritty realism, then telling this story about a person who was executed (and yes, we now know she was executed) is just… It feels disrespectful, y’know?

Plus once you start bringing in the real politics of the world, I’m going to start examining the characters through a real historical lens. A love triangle is annoying and unnecessary anyway, but you managed to make it fucking creepy by having this guy stalk her after his dad killed her entire family, and while he’s still working for an oppressive regime. That’s not romantic! But you also managed to fuck up royally by making that actor far more handsome and charismatic, not to mention a much better singer, than the actual love interest!

Like! Dmitri only barely worked in the movie, y’know? You have to straddle such a fine, fine line with a lovable con man. If you take out the lovable, he’s just a fucking con man. And in the show, he just felt like a con man. Again, the fact that the u/s couldn’t sing all that well (he went sour several times and sometimes sounded just like Ernie, of Sesame Street, which is kind of the opposite of sexy) did not help things. But he was also just a fucking dick to Anya and it was difficult to tell why she liked him, other than the writing’s new decision to make her basically a street urchin like him. (As in, she’d been living on the street for many years previous to the show’s start — he also never worked in the palace and saved her life in the musical; it was never actually stated how she escaped in the musical.)

The actress who played Anya did an amazing job, but the writing for her character was pretty ??? most of the time. Like I get that you want to make her feisty (and why did you choose AN ATTEMPTED RAPE TO DISPLAY HER STRENGTH?) but if she’s really so street smart, why does she constantly make bizarre decisions? Why does she want to go to Paris if she doesn’t have the Together In Paris necklace? Why is she having a weird love triangle between a man who verbally abuses her and a government official who wants her dead? WHY DID YOU MAKE IT CLEAR THAT SHE HAD A DOG AND THE DOG IS DEAD? Poor Pooka!

Speaking of people I can’t root for knowing actual historical fact, they changed Sophie into an ex-Russian dilettante named Lily who spends all her time complaining that she used to be rich af in Russia and it’s so sad that all of the Russian elite had to give up their major Russian fortunes so they could… have minor French fortunes and cushy jobs. Like every time they started reminiscing about the good ol’ days in Russia, I was just like “oh right, that’s why they had a revolution, eat the fucking rich”. Like the new background they made up just made me despise her and all her friends.

They also made Anastasia’s grandma kind of a bitch. You’re really kind of forcibly reminded how awful monarchies can be whenever she talks about politics! And that cute, short scene in the movie where she finally meets Anya? Drawn out to like a half hour of this old woman rambling about how awful the world is and how she hates everyone and Anya is just a tricksy bitch. Fun times for all!

Plus like. I don’t remember a single song from the musical that wasn’t in the movie. I hate that they took out all of the magic and the talking animals and Rasputin (how did they never even mention the HISTORICAL one?) and they just had to rub it in by cannibalizing In The Dark of The Night and turning it into a depressing-ass song about political refugees who were fleeing Russia and would never see it again. (Note: the singer of this song was shot in the head by Russian authorities shortly after singing it.)

The only thing the musical really did was make me so sad for these people who had a revolution because their rulers were deeply corrupt and used the lives of the poor like pawns, and then had an equally corrupt government regime move in. The people were starving either way! And the musical trying to romanticize all that (they kind of wanted to acknowledge the historical crimes but still make me like the people who caused the problems??) just felt awful. They tried to work this story in with the real historical timeline by being like YEAH SHE WAS REAL AND THEY REUNITED BUT THEN SHE DECIDED TO LEAVE AND NEVER TELL ANYONE WHO SHE WAS AGAIN SO THE CREEP IN THE GOVERNMENT DIDN’T GET IN TROUBLE AND NO ONE EVER KNEW THAT THE REAL ANASTASIA WAS ALIVE. Like what. No. They found her fucking corpse. You can’t try to follow real life and have her actually be Anastasia. You can’t have your cake and eat it too! Do you want to make a musical about the plight of the Russians during this time period, or do you want to write a fairy tale? You can’t do both! All you’ve managed to do is play out some bad history and make me feel kind of gross.

….and boring music, questionable politics, and fuckin dreariness aside, the writing was just bad. The second act dragged on and on and on because they would never say in a minute what they could say in an hour. I was kind of bored and annoyed both. If you’re going to change a story and add an hour and a half of material, it better be good material. And it wasn’t. The only bright spots for me were the spectacular costumes (really gorgeous), the interesting sets, and the woman who plays Anastasia.

Other than that, I was not thrilled. All it did was make me want to go watch the ding-dang movie so I could just see the ding-dang bat.