#but idk even looking past me being very picky

[minustwofingers]

Smut being in a story is okay, but I get what you are saying. Though I was mainly referring to fanfics where Ellie is so out there and out of character it takes away the believability I guess. It takes away from the immersion into the story because while I try to read some fanfics outside of those like yours, I can't help but hyperfocus on the details that aren't her if that makes sense. Like it feels like an ooc version of Ellie and not Ellie Williams from the Last of Us. I apologize, I suck at this. I'm not trying bash those who write smut in their fanfics, just to clarify. I also apologize for rambling on and tripping over my words.

hey anon i am so sorry for taking forever to respond. thanks for correcting me—i didn’t mean to misrepresent what you were saying! plz don’t apologize for clarifying, i appreciate it!

i try not to comment on this bc yes i do have opinions on this 😭 but i also don’t want to discourage writers who are starting out or haven’t quite figured out how to write convincing characters yet, bc i know there’s much to be improved upon in my writing and i don’t think i have any place critiquing fan work (esp bc it’s free and they’re not getting paid so if they’re having fun i’m happy for them) (also this community can be a little scary if ur hot take is a little too hot so i try to stay silent on this)

that being said…yes i do agrée w what ur saying and i know exactly what ur talking about. i feel like there’s been this trend as of late (not to say it never existed before but i feel like it’s more prevalent now) where people use fanfiction as a means of wish fulfillment where they pluck a character they think is hot out of canon and just make them into A Character whose only similarities to their canonical counterpart lie in their appearance/name. i generally write fic to try to answer the question: what would happen if i put this character in that situation? knowing what we know about them, how would they behave? and that approach motivates both what i look for in writing ideas and what i look for in pieces i enjoy reading

idk why suddenly i’m not really seeing that approach as much in fandoms these days, bc i feel like when i was younger it seemed more common to come across fic that tries to explore a character instead of fic that tries to fit characters into a predefined caricature. idk something something tiktok something something lack of delayed gratification idk

(but also people should have fun and write what they want and there’s nothing wrong w it and this is just my opinion on what i’ve seen fanfiction become over the years)

[goodlucktai]

if you’re taking suggestions for the leosagi series you wrote - maybe leo with champion when shes a little older being a menace? or just leo and yui on a date. idk whatever u want :)))

read on ao3

x

At first, Yuichi didn’t know why Leonardo was so annoyed about his family crashing their dates. The Hamato siblings were fun to be around and folded Yuichi into their shenanigans as though it cost them nothing to include him. And it was always worthwhile to see Leonardo in his natural habitat—those sweet and silly and childish sides of him that only came out of their shell at home—so he never minded when he drove down to the lair to visit Leonardo and their time together was never time alone together. 

Then Leonardo came over to Yuichi’s house to watch a movie and Yuichi’s cousins invited themselves into the den and each made it their life’s mission to make Yuichi wish he was an only child. Leonardo thought they were hilarious and encouraged their antics like the troublemaker he was but Yuichi firmly resolved to never laugh at him for complaining about his brothers ever again. 

“We should go out sometime,” Yuichi said pointedly, staring very hard at the unrepentant little fluffy faces peeking at him from the porch windows. “We could get dinner. Or go skating. Or vandalize public property. I’m not picky.”

“Or all of the above!” Leonardo chimed brightly, the blue light of a portal flickering playfully behind him. He squeezed Yuichi’s hands and added, “I like the way you think, Snowball. Let me know when you’re off work on Friday and I’ll come steal you from tío.” 

He leaned in like he was thinking about going for a kiss, then seemed to remember they had an audience and backed off again with a nervous giggle. 

Goddammit, Yuichi thought with feeling. The constant scrutiny was actually ruining his entire life. 

So that’s how they end up here; Yuichi has his bike helmet tucked under one arm, watching with amusement as his boyfriend stands in front of his assembled family and lays down the law. 

“One last time: what are you not going to do,” Leonardo says in a no-nonsense tone, arms folded across his plastron, borrowed purple bomber jacket glittering where the living room lights hit the sequins. He’s unfairly cute. 

“Stalk, supervise or spy,” his siblings recite with varying levels of agreeableness. 

“And what will happen if I catch any of you doing any of those things?”

“You’ll portal our favorite belongings into the ocean.”

“And I will catch you,” Leonardo adds dangerously. “My phone is on, I’m sharing my location, I’ll be with Yui the entire time, and we probably won’t do anything crazier than trying that new Greek restaurant on 9th Ave.”

“You’d try Gyros Stop without us?” Michelangelo demands with a look of absolute betrayal and wet, shiny eyes. Yuichi honestly can’t tell if he’s kidding or not, but Leonardo is completely unmoved.

“Pushing your luck, Miguel. I’ll bring back baklava.”

The crocodile tears dry right up. One camera shutter sound later, Leonardo is staring at Casey and Casey is staring at the floor, new phone clutched guiltily to his chest. 

“I promised April I’d get a picture,” he whispers.

“If you go into the settings you can turn the sound effect off for next time,” Donnie says, leaning over his nephew’s shoulder.

“Next time?” Leonardo all but shrieks.

“Hey, so you two should get going, huh?” Raphael interjects quickly—probably because he can sense the situation rapidly deteriorating by the second. “Have a good time! Tell Raph all about it later!”

Yuichi and Leonardo finally make it past the turnstiles with only a few more dramatics for the road, hopping down into the tunnel where Yuichi’s bike is waiting while Splinter’s pointed reminder of the curfew for little turtles echoes boomingly around them. 

Said little turtle looks seconds away from dying of mortification and busies himself with shoving his helmet on and pretending his father isn’t still talking about what he’ll do if ‘my Baby Blue comes home with even a single scratch!’

“Get me out of here before I do something drastic,” Leonardo grits out. 

Yuichi pulls his own helmet on and slings a leg over his bike. He twists around and pats the seat behind him, smiling. 

“I’ll go real fast, Stripes. Just hang on tight.”

He knows for a fact that the Hamato brothers have motorcycles that Donatello built from the ground up, and that even little Michelangelo can outdrive people three times his age. And Yuichi has floated the idea of Leonardo coming down to the Hidden City on one of the shell hogs so they could have a drag race with Kitsune and Chizu, which Leonardo agreed instantly was the best idea he’d ever had. 

But for now it makes sense to share Yuichi’s bike. It's date night! And it feels like Yuichi is literally the king of the entire universe when Leonardo wraps his arms snug around Yuichi’s middle and props his chin on Yuichi’s shoulder, knocking their helmets together playfully. 

There’s another camera shutter sound behind them, and Leonardo whips around like he’s going to surrender to the Cain Instinct once and for all. Biting back a bark of laughter, Yuichi revs the engine really loud and takes off. 

It’s late and the sky is overcast, which means that when they turn onto the street from the underground it’s to a smear of headlights and bright neon signs and glowing storefront windows.   

None of the Hamatos seem particularly interested in Cloaking Brooches, beyond the single time Yuichi heard them curiously pondering what their human forms would look like while they were waiting on the popcorn in the microwave. Brooches aren’t particularly hard to come by, and Yuichi knows for a fact that there are a bunch in a drawer at home somewhere, but when he offered to bring over a few, he got a round of “nahh”s.

“Embrace the turtle, baby,” cheerful Michelangelo piped up.  

“Maybe pops would want one,” Raphael added thoughtfully. “We’ll have to ask.”

“It’s New York,” Donatello explained, since Yuichi probably looked as confused as he felt. “No one pays attention to anybody else. At best, the humans won’t even notice we look weird because they’ve got their own stuff going on. At worst, they will notice and automatically assume we’re in costume and not care why. What a town.”

So when they pull into a drive thru for smoothies, Leonardo just says, “Leave your helmet on, they won’t say anything,” proving it when he leans over to pay for their drinks with his phone and his sleeve rides up past his wrist. The teenage cashier clocks his green skin, visibly decides she’s not paid enough to care, and smiles at them brightly when Leonardo tips 25%. 

The Hamatos have lived in—or beneath—Midtown their entire lives, so Yuichi is comfortable deferring to their experience. He doesn’t think he’ll tell Auntie, though. 

They wind up at a little park with a wooded waterfront area, almost entirely empty due to the threat of rain. There’s one dim, buzzing streetlight that offers a warm orange glow against the tree coverage and overcast sky, so the two of them gravitate that way. 

Yuichi can see a few other people on the walk path, all the way down at the other side of the park, looking as though they’re making their way out.  

“There’s so many people in every corner of this town but you still manage to find little pockets like this where nobody’s around,” Yuichi says. “It seems impossible.”

“The Hidden City is like that, too,” Leonardo says, hopping up to sit on the railing that separates the greenery from the water. “Every time you take me to one of your secret hangout spots I’m like, ‘Wait, there’s a billion yokai half a street over, how is it just the two of us here?’” 

Yuichi laughs and says, “That’s fair. Did you get pineapple-banana this time? Let me try.”

“You gotta branch away from strawberries and cream, there’s a whole world out there,” Leonardo complains, but gamely switches smoothies anyway. 

Hanging out just the two of them takes much the same shape as it does when they hang out at the farm or the lair. They talk and watch videos on their phones and recreate TikTok dances they’ll never post but save anyway. The only big differences are the ambient noises of the city—traffic and sirens and music and humanity—and the lights on the water behind Leonardo that frame him like a movie scene. 

And also that there’s no nosy siblings to get in the way when Yuichi leans in for a kiss. He does exactly that, mirroring Leonardo’s smile, when suddenly his boyfriend’s gaze cuts to something over his shoulder and he goes through the five stages of grief in rapid-fire. 

“Pizza Supreme,” the slider mutters, letting his forehead bump against Yuichi’s in defeat. “Gram-gram’s laughing at me, I know she is. I mean it’s free entertainment at this point.”

“What?” Yuichi says, turning around. “What did you see?”

“My all-time least favorite B-list bad guys, probably up to their same old stupid tricks.” Leonardo puts his hands on Yuichi’s shoulders to guide him out of the way as he hops down from the railing. His attitude has cooled slightly, a gleam entering his eyes that wouldn’t look out of place in Donatello’s. Which definitely means trouble. “Hey, morons!” he calls. “Stop trying to out-ninja me, I’m so far out of your league it’s actually insane!”

There’s a beat of silence, less than a handful of seconds, and then a dozen humans in dark clothing reveal themselves. Yuichi spends a lot of time with a ninja clan these days and still finds it a little unnerving the way they can spill out of the shadows soundlessly. Even Leonardo and his siblings, with all their bright colors and larger-than-life personalities, can disappear into thin air like it’s nothing. 

These ninja wear hooded cowls with a burnt orange emblem that give away exactly who they are.

Yuichi’s hand goes to Edgewing, belted at his hip. He knows exactly who to blame for the Krang invading New York City—and ultimately for the battle scars Leonardo and his brothers all bear as a result. He only has to take one look at the healed gashes that stand out stark white against the pretty blue of Leonardo’s carapace and it’s enough to make him want to start breaking faces with an eagerness Karasu-Tengu-sensei would disapprove of. 

“Can we please just cut to the chase here?” Leonardo says, hands on his hips. “I’m a busy guy, and frankly, you picked the wrong night.”

At the beginning of the evening, the only solid plans on Yuichi’s itinerary had been dinner and driving around really fast to hear Leonardo whoop in his ear and maybe going to that drive-in movie theater in Brooklyn the turtles loved because it was screening the original Jurassic Park trilogy this weekend and Yuichi had only seen the first one. 

Maybe he should have been surprised to end up engaged in a sword fight with his boyfriend’s hereditary enemy in a cute postal-stamp sized park in Manhattan, but he’s not, really. Part of running with the Hamato clan is learning really early on how to roll with the punches. 

And—he’s taking some mean glee in this. Sue him. When he slams the hilt of Edgewing into a cowled face and hears the crunch of cartilage he goes, “Ha,” under his breath, and only feels guilty for a second about what sensei would have to say about it. 

“Aren’t you guys embarrassed?” Leonardo calls out to the gaggle of Foot ninja he’s fighting, sounding more annoyed than anything else. “All of your overlords either leave you for dead or sick a squishy pink brain parasite on you.” He glances at Yuichi and adds, as if he had somehow missed the entire alien invasion earlier in the year and this was his first time hearing about it, “It was a whole thing.”

“You know, I do have the Internet.”

“You have dial-up. I didn’t even know what that was until Donnie Googled it.”

If Yuichi wasn’t already in love with this guy for an embarrassing number of reasons, watching him fight five to one without breaking a sweat definitely would have helped him get there. He doesn’t even need the edge his ninpo gives him; fighting an enemy like the Krang kind of makes everything else seem like small fish in comparison. 

By the time the last ninja has crumpled bonelessly to the ground, Yuichi’s muscles are burning in that pleasant post-workout way. And his mind is completely free of everything except a giddy runner’s high. So when Leonardo tilts a smile at him, already reaching for his abandoned smoothie, Yuichi doesn’t think. 

He just closes those four steps between them, takes Leonardo’s face in both hands, and kisses him. 

It’s perfect, obviously. Even with the sound of a nearby eavesdropper squeaking and then being soundly muffled. 

“Okay,” Leonardo says very calmly, and disappears in a flash of cyan. 

Somewhere in the wooded part of the park, there’s multiple shrieks and the sound of Raphael pleading, “No listen, we weren’t spying I swear we were, uh, we were—” 

“Geocaching,” Donatello fumbles, “what an insane coincidence that it took us here, he lied convincingly. Nardo, you know how susceptible I am to both peer pressure and FOMO—”

“You guys are so cute!” Michelangelo chirps enthusiastically. “Ow! And totally a power couple, you should see the pictures we—Lee, ow, ow, okay, I’m sorry I’m sorry—”

Yuichi sighs, and looks down at the Foot ninja beginning to stir weakly on the ground nearby. 

“I’m so lucky,” he confides in them, the truth of it a warm little star in his heart, and then slides out his phone. 

Donatello added him to the Hamato family plan ages ago, which means he gets service everywhere and data speeds he didn’t even know were possible. Yuichi finds Gyro Stop on GrubHub and places a pick-up order for enough spanakopita and baklava to feed however many of Leonardo’s siblings he decides to leave alive. 

[tommykinard6]

I love your headcanons!

Why do you think Tommy has a difficult relationship with sex and how does that show?

Also do you have any more ideas about the emergency contact one? Like the first time they get a call from the hospital...

Yessss thank you so much for asking about those headcanons! I’ve been wanting to talk about these.

I actually just got another ask about the emergency contact and I’m going to go super in depth for that, so stay tuned!

But why do I think Tommy has a difficult relationship with sex? I’m so, so glad you asked. This is one of my biggest headcanons.

However! Please read with caution. TW: for a form of self h*rm involving sex, self hatred, and internalized homophobia.

Tommy was extremely closeted for most of his life. When he was at the 118, he couldn’t even accept himself. But at some point, he stopped being able to ignore it. For me, this might be when he realized he liked Sal (see my other post).

Now for some people, exploring your sexuality includes a *ahem* wild phase. To me, Tommy had two parts of this phase. The first one was…not great.

Tommy was a self loathing closeted man. He hated himself for being gay. He wanted to be “normal”. So when he stopped being able to ignore it, he thought he could “get it out of his system”. So he went to bars outside of LA (he wasn’t risking bumping into anyone he knew) and hooked up with any man who showed interest. He wasn’t picky. He was just more focused on getting out of this “phase”.

So he hooked up with a lot of men. And he didn’t care about himself at all. In fact, he out right hated himself every time. So it devolved. If something didn’t feel good, Tommy leaned into it because he saw it as punishment. He used sex to punish himself and to hurt himself.

I’m not quite sure about how he pulled himself out of it, but we’ll go with this. My idea is that he had a sexual partner who caught onto what was going on, that Tommy secretly hated something happening but refused to stop on his own. The partner shut down the event and when he called out, gently, Tommy on what was happening, Tommy broke down. The partner held him and listened to his garbled story and talked him through it. Instead of the hookup, they spent that night just talking, with the partner trying to get Tommy to see what was happening and get him out of the slump.

And it didn’t fix it. Tommy continued this pattern for a couple more hookups, but he started to get discontented and uncomfortable. Around this time maybe, the 118 got Bobby Nash and the dynamic started changing. Sal was gone and working with Hen, an openly queer firefighter, started to shift how he looked at himself.

So Tommy stopped the hookups and started working on himself. He couldn’t quite face himself still, but he worked on liking himself outside of his sexuality. He started laying down boundaries when he hooked up. And then he left the 118 and started therapy. He was ready to start over. He was tired of the pain and the self hate and the cycle he’d been stuck in for so long. He wanted what he’d seen others have. He saw Hen with her wife and he wanted a bond like that and he knew it could never be with a woman.

Skip forward all this time and he’s learned to be gentle with himself. He finally loves himself. He has embraced his sexuality. Maybe he’s still friendly with that past partner or maybe they never spoke again, idk. He’s had some relationships but nothing’s really stuck. Then he meets Evan Buckley.

He meets Evan Buckley and he feels the sun for the first time. And Evan is still figuring himself out and Tommy not only really likes him, but also wants to make sure Evan doesn’t make the same mistakes he did.

Does that answer the question? Let me sum it up.

Tommy used sex to punish himself and those were his first real experiences with guys. So even now, in healthier relationships and with better mindsets, he doesn’t do the hookup game anymore and is very shy of having sex too soon. He doesn’t have sex without knowing and trusting the person.

Y’all I have no idea if this made sense, but this is literally the premise of a story in my brain.

[xiaojianggshi]

hiiii!! trying out a new layout idk the one i had before seems so empty now, cheng gotta step up her game...

sorry this took so long i promise didn't leave i was just slowly working on this

enhypen as husbands

16 december, 2023

LEE HEESEUNG

heeseung as a person certainly has worries. as a husband, he would worry about rumors people say about him. news articles, forum posts, comments, videos; like he feels like those outlets have him at mercy. as a husband and an idol he may worry especially about rumors that occur because people overanalyze ever movement. that, or past controversies surrounding not only him, but the group as well.

his reading does not seem to be objectively sweet since he is holding on to a really strong connection he had in the past that he cannot let go of. not sure if everyone is familiar with the episode but he reminds me of when wendy broke up with stan and he turned goth (south park s7ep14). since he seems so down, he probably is very committed in a relationship. his heart is their heart.

however, as an ending note it seems he does not want his fans to worry about him, he wants to be in the process of embracing change and looking towards a bright future.

seven of swords rx., the emperor rx., six of cups rx., ten of swords rx., seven of cups, eight of wands rx.

PARK JAY

jay would probably thrive in a married relationship. he wants to do everything for them and is likely big on gift giving. anything in his power that he can do to make his partner feel secure and not have to worry about money or time, he wants to do. just as person, he is someone who wants to make lifetime connections. he wants to share the same life with his partner almost completely.

he would be a very large provider, mostly monetarily. particularly, jay wants to be successful in order to provide for his family. and nevermind how i said he would be big on gift giving, he IS gift giving. he probably does not pay attention much to price and just wants to make his significant other happy.

once again, strong bonds are important to him. in general, jay is already a very generous person to his friends and family, so someone who he feels once-in-a-lifetime connection with is someone he would not mind to spoil.

queen of pentacles, the tower rx., ace of pentacles, the lovers, two of wands

SIM JAKE

jake has high expectations concerning marriage. like, very high expectations to the point where i could honestly see him being the last to even get married out of eveyrone in the group. jake sees the responsibilities of not only marriage but relationships in general, and he wants someone who knows about it and knows how to handle those responsibilities.

jake may want a traditional marriage. but to some extent, it is a little unfair. some of his expectations could be superhuman and cause him or his partner to be put on a pedestal where one partner works and handles any heavy lifting, and the other does not. his ideal marriage is imbalanced, so to say.

he wants to be the provider, like an extremely superficial couple from an older tv show that has a stay-at-home parent and a working parent. really, his concept of marriage is very idealistic. he will probably change or shift though.

justice rx., ten of wands, three of pentacles rx., judgement, the high priestess rx., king of pentacles

PARK SUNGHOON

generally, sunghoon is very picky with the people he chooses to enter relationships with. honestly could imagine him putting 'candidates' through tests in order to see if they are too good to be true or just to test whether the relationship would actually work out. not to say he has a roster of potential relationship candidates, but he when he realizes it is not what he wants, he will end the relationship and look for what feels right.

he is a balanced person, i think. he is smart and knows when to use his head but simultaneously sticks with the connections and relationships he has made. he is a very loyal and compassionate partner. once again, when he meets the person that feels right he may not even want to leave them alone.

he is not a passive partner either. whenever he says something, he means it and will be active in the relationship. when his partner says something, he will follow through with it and expects them to follow through with it as well.

four of cups, the world rx., king of cups, knight of swords

KIM SUNOO

sunoo does not care about traditional roles or traditional marriage. if anything, he wants to experiment and have fun with his marriage. he does not want it to make him feel tied down and he wants to feel like he has met his ride-or-die. sunoo will always be true to himself and his needs. great thing about him is that he will never change, although this does also manifest into stubborness.

that is really all i have for him, at the moment he does not really want to think about marriage. he wants to enjoy life and because of that, is also very picky with his relationships and who he chooses to surround himself with.

the hierophant rx., nine of cups rx., knight of cups rx.

YANG JUNGWON

prioritizes any sort of relationship, big time. every connection he makes is important to him, and not in a self-sufficient way where he wants to reach higher places. jungwon seems to be the least likely person to work through connections. he plays everything very fairly and makes connections for the people themselves.

in a serious relationship he would also follow his. he wants balance and a genuine connection. if he puts in the effort, his partner should also put in an effort to meet him in the middle and vice versa.

most likely prioritizies turning a house into a home. he wants to be fulfilled and wants to fulfill for his partner, i cannot reiterate it enough. he wants to be successful in every way that he can.

the lovers, temperance, knight of swords, ten of pentacles, ace of pentacles

NISHIMURA RIKI

probably not sure at all about what he looks for in a relationship. there are many different things he could be interested in, but it is just kind of an atom cloud of ideas. there is nothing he would give a hard pass or see as a particular green flag right now

clueless. he is clueless and clumsy with marriage. man only just turned 18 so he does not really have the same expectations or general ideals he has in his love life, although jungwon does (their personalities are quite different though, soo). the cards are just spilling?? everywhere?? he is actually just clueless

?????wtfff????

[mamamittens]

Weird thought, would modern cooking kill Thatch?

Like, I'm not saying he's a bad cook or anything! Clearly, he's very good at what he does and is, in fact, so good he appeared to be visibly keeping Whitebeard healthy past his prime with cooking alone. So like, health wise, he's gotta be top class shit.

But I mean... he's on a boat? All the time??? And there are just... some things that you can't keep for long at sea. Especially with so many people to feed. While I imagine they have a hella food budget, there's no way they have bales of herbs and spices laying about. I mean, look at this?!?

Doesn't look dry at least... but this is a lot of food that's just being eaten wholesale that's definitely not being spiced like we can expect/afford to today. Realistically, Ace just swallowed a whole hunk of plain bread, what seems to be a weird turkey leg, a slice of ham, and a hunk of roast. Not a speck of seasoning in sight.

I'm not even sure they could keep a steady supply of all the 'additional taste enchancing ingredients' for months at sea, even without Ace's black hole stomach hoovering it all up.

They're definitely not picky at least, so they've got that going for them I suppose. Can't be too bad but, honestly, Ace grew up eating spitroasted croc he hunted himself, so his standards aren't exactly sky high either.

So, what I was just having a silly little laugh to myself about my favorite pie, whip cream Oreo pudding pie (god it's so sugary, you cannot have more than a humble slice and this is from someone who unironically likes gallon sweet tea with almost four cups of sugar in it). And I realized that the amount of sugary decadence would like... send Thatch into a coma. They'd probably think it's fucking disgusting it's so fucking sweet.

And I'm not particularly crazy about spices--I'm actually a little bitch about them. So while Thatch probably has tasted and made some delicious ass dishes, there's no way most of them reach the casual level of 'overdone' modern food tends to be. Especially considering the double deep fried nonsense the southern USA is known for. You just can't reach that level of indulgence in a buffet style meal regularly for +1,000 people several times a day. It's literally only possible with modern convenience and insane cashflow to keep that up.

Kinda makes me wonder if canon Thatch would be horrified at the array of flavors we've made, the horrific food combinations, and culinary monstrosities. Both of the 'you can't eat at everybody's house~!' and 'holy shit this is actually amazing, may I please have more?!?' varieties.

He'd definitely be curious but like, there are so weird ass flavors. Had vinegar and sea salt chips once that tasted like I decided to deep throat Poseidon in his purest form, it was so aggressively salty. Novelty shit and genuine 'there are people who live and die by this particular brand of bat shit flavor'.

Idk, I guess it's just a funny thought.

[queer-advice-hotline]

Hi 😅 I hope this is okay to ask, I’ll try to be brief but will probably fail at that. Basically I’ve been raised in a Christian household, very conservative too. But I met a far more liberal Christian friend and over time .. sort of am to the point I think I might be left-leaning too (definitely more than my family). This scares me. I don’t want to disappoint my family by being liberal …

She also recently talked to me about evolution which I was never taught about, the most I learned was reading a single textbook that talked about it around college. And … it all makes sense. I even went to the religious science site my dad says proves evolution is false and I can’t find any actual proof evolution is false. Everything is evidence to the contrary and .. I’ve listened to videos about experiments where cells clump together and start getting more complex and it’s honestly so exciting? That’s so cool? But … I can’t help but think of how disappointed my family will be about this, too …

But the worst part .. I’ve been holding off on looking into LGBT stuff because I don’t know what I’ll find. I’ve never had a crush on an actual guy (I’m a girl), even though easily over 20 guys have expressed interest in the past, some just said I was hot and kind of asked me out, others expressed wanting to marry me. I’ve never dated, ever. I only like fictional characters really, and the only strong connection has been literally 12 years of loving a character. My affection for him went into full force when I empathized with him, but I’m also autistic and he’s my special interest, so idk how that factors into it. Some of my friends say I’m demi, but I’ve insisted I’m straight and I’m just picky. I don’t know if I am. I also … have met or been friends with three girls over the years, or presumably girls, that I know I wanted to spend time with or get to know, I’d be nervous around (but I also have anxiety ..) or still think about sometimes. But I don’t think I’d want to have sex with a girl … idk, it’s really confusing because my mom always told me people think they’re LGBT because of wounds, and I definitely have been wounded in the past. But I also … I just don’t feel attracted to most people … but I also can find any person attractive or pretty? I just don’t necessarily want to do anything with them? Like recently I saw a video game character who I felt very Eh about, like he’s pretty I guess, until I learned he has trauma and now he seems more appealing because I empathize with him.

But … I don’t know what to do. My faith is extremely important to me and I know I have to have some sort of spirituality no matter what. But I just … I just can’t be LGBT. It’ll destroy my family and I might not have a place to live if I decide I am. Especially if I got a partner like that. I don’t know … I know I’m already such a disappointment for disagreeing politically and .. probably believing in evolution, and now I need to look into LGBT stuff because I need to know if what I’ve been taught is wrong, but I’m so, so, so scared. I can’t … be this. I just can’t. I don’t know if I am.

I’m sorry, this was kind of a vent and I’m sorry if any language is poorly-worded. I’m living in a constant state of anxiety right now so I am probably saying things wrong and I apologize. I just don’t know what to do. If you read this, thank you - and I hope you have a good day.

I think coming to terms with your identity may help you, even if you don't tell anyone. Your family doesn't have to know until you're ready to tell them, or they never even have to know at all.

It's important to remember that you don't need to rush into anything either. This is a pretty big change from what you described as your lifestyle, so it makes sense that you are having a lot of feelings of anxiety over this. Rushing into a new identity won't help you, especially if you aren't ready for it.

As for you religion, you can be religious and lgbtq, there are plenty of quuer people who are religious, and talking with some of hem might help you. They could give you advice on your family and you identity. Any religious quuer people feel free to reply to this with advice.

[acsy]

Idk whether it's because I'm attracted to men or if there's gen a problem with hsr women, but so far all my favorite characters are males and idk this just feels odd.

Like so far all the unhinged female characters have some elements that just ick me a bit and thus unable to like them (sparkle), or they're genuinely interesting characters but they're just so...passive (Ruan mei), or they're like so fanservicie in a "mommy" way which like, i don't mind but i don't like (kafka), or I just don't like them straight up.

Like I guess some close seconds are Stelle and Herta but that's it, and since we only have doll herta so far I'm not THAT invested yet (waiting for 5 star herta).

They have so many cool female characters, but none of them are to my taste, I like unhinged women with sass and the only one who does that without that "ooo mommy step on me" voice or attitude is Herta, like please I was kinda looking forward to jade but her demeanor is so... idk, I liked her concept, her lines and behavior I find interesting too, but the way she plays them and her design? Just tick me off. Same for sparkle she seemed so fun until she wasn't, she kinda just fell flat on her face after giving out the buttons and became irrelevant, idk I like Sampo because despite being unhinged in a funny kinda crooked businessy man way, he still is pretty tame compared to the rest of the masked fools and I'm curious about his past. Sparkle kinda just feels like they wanted to make a character with glamorized schizophrenia without giving her schizophrenia, and then just over played her role at the Start before forgetting her.

Sunday is a very interesting character, ratio too, they both have this overlap between behavior, belief and ideal in different ways and I like that, they have depth beyond surface level behavior. But most female characters just give everything away as they speak to you, you don't find out more and go "wooow" like I did when I found out about boothill's backstory, and even when they expose everything in the story like for Sunday it was "show don't tell", we got flashbacks, a fight scene, some dope monologues, tension building. And idk, I suppose I'm just picky.

Argentie is just funny tbh, head empty just beauty, but with the recent reveal of his backstory and the friend monster ordeal, he's starting to grow on me, especially because of how enigmatic the knights of beauty are we only met one and when he did he was rizzing up a plant before diving into nihility to pop out a few people like it was nothing.

I want a woman who seems just as simple minded as Argentie, no thoughts just Idrilla, but without any mommy or eeby hibbie uwu quiet vibes I'm so sick of cool women having such lackluster speech and behavior.

Give me unhinged herta, just more herta lore I'm starving.

Topaz is probably the closest to my fav type of character but she isn't unhinged enough :(

[old-lorarri]

─ paper rings . . . ❨ send me a description of yourself + a fandom and gender preference, and i’ll ship you with a character. ❩

i couldn't miss out a good time! i had this previously done but it would be interesting to know who i'd match with! i copy pasted but i added some more that might help impact the results. expect me to come around for another if i may? maybe the next day or next week.

fandom: formula one

info abt me: female & prefers men!

my big three is: leo-gemini-pisces!

i am quite an adaptable individual, love sunsets, stargazing, animals and pets & divination or anything related to spirituality.

not quite fond of social media but i really love interacting with people whom i share interests with here in tumblr! lately, i am really trying to build friendships amongst f1 writers and even readers too.

i heavily value my private life and prefer not to tell people about my personal next step in life (preferring not to share private information unless i feel comfortable) and i don't post much in my social media accounts but i have an instagram solely for posting my well curated portraits with poems as captions.

i also love psychology, deep talks about life or anything very reflective, tell me a situation that had been bothering you and i will make you reflect and tell about yourself. (this scares some people because they always say i could read them like an open book)

having a lot of hobbies and interests (i couldn't stay still between one thing [e.g. i could love making music this week, next week i'd be into arts]). right now i am into writing fics and serving the people some entertainment lmao but i have to stop because for some reason my reach is not reaching idk what to do to alleviate that. i have a keen eye for detail and quite a perfectionist — selective even.

i have a small circle of friends in real life. they are the ones who i can trust my life with. i do believe that quality is better than quantity. but building new connections helps me discover about people more and reflect about life.

my talents are diverse mainly because in my country being an all out performer is a thing. schools were literally built here for you to show and perform like beyoncé or sorts to earn grades. singing while playing an instrument, dancing, acting, writing, you name it i could give it a go. i am a theater kid so i think it impacted developing these talents, they're very enjoyable regardless. 100% not picky with music either, music kind of reflects a person's soul. roadtrips are nice and they're quality time. that's how you also know which friend of yours is only there for clout and the ones who are there because they look forward to a journey of sharing the same space with another.

clubbing is not my thing. i am not fond of smoking or drinking alcohol. I AM HEAVILY TURNED OFF BY VICES but i don't mind an occasional wine for formal events. if you put me inside a club, expect me to sit down on a corner and watch everyone. i tend to attract men easily (i am not bragging but it's hard rlly) and i do believe clubs are not the best place to attract guys sorry •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀ if you'd invite me to a party, we can have picnics or a dinner at your home or somewhere. i couldn't handle clubs, 100% would dip if someone say clubs or bars. they're too overwhelming.

i was raised in a quite conservative household so i preferably wear clothing that do not show much skin. i love statement outfits and prefer to make my own clothes or customize clothes rather than buying high-end branded clothing. my wardrobe is quite diverse, i can have masculine and feminine outfits. styles from fairycore, 50s, 80s, 90s wear, autumn wear, formal wear and officewear. i have gowns too! at this point i can build a boutique and often get teased about it by people in my circle💀 i grew up with relatives who doesn't smoke and only drink on occasion.

my love language (receiving) is acts of service and receiving gifts. my love language (giving) is acts of service and quality time / words of affirmation. i love solving people's problems and give them cheat codes in life hahahaha

idk if this would help but i have a stale lovelife, if i happen to put myself out there there there will always be a lot of guys wanting to pursue me ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ i pull away immediately if this starts to happen because it drains me so much. i would then focus into my career and go into hermit mode again, the one who stays in my life and wait for me to regain my energy is what i think, is meant for me. tbh, i need someone who is patient and understanding towards me or it's going to be disaster lmfao ฅ[⁠ᓀ´⁠ ▾ `⁠ᓂ⁠]ฅ

LEWIS HAMILTON

very private person, both of you like to keep it that way especially when it comes to you relationship

both of you have very deep conversations about life each other certain topics and just life in general

you both love to reflect on stuff and help each other get stuff of your chest

you tend to do this while you cuddling with chill music in the background

lewis supports you though all of your different hobbie phases

love that your so open to trying new things

you both have a tight inner circle and you both value quality over quantity

the two of you def recorded a song together

you both hold fashion shows for each other after a massive shop

both of your love languages are is acts of serves

which sometimes turns into a funny competition of who can out do the other

is always patient and understanding when it comes to you

[jayjamjary]

light and/or L for 6/9/25?

I'm alive againnnnnn! So I can finally answer this.

Okay so I wrote a lot and don't want to make people scroll a mile at least on mobile to get past this post so answers under the cut lol. I hope you like long winded paragraphs.

Also here's the thing I'm doing this from.

L 6, I've stolen so many of his mannerisms and my posture is worse for it. His moral code (made pretty clear in L Change The World) is one I like as well and reading that book helped me consider a lot of my own moral codes that are still kinda works in progress probably forever. I'm also rather logical with a side of social awkwardness and bluntness like he is. Obviously I'm not as smart as him (I don't know if that would even be possible????) but I know a lot and I'm good at analyzing information (except when it's social information. I can't read faces I can't read tone and I suck at understanding neurotypical people's behavior). I've also taken martial arts lol but just taekwondo not the capoeira-esque thing he does. Oh and I'm snacky. I operate best on too much sugar but also then I sometimes start shaking.

Light 6, Sometimes I have to stop myself from thinking I'm above everyone else. I only get in that mindset occasionally though, like once every few years and then I just have to humble myself by remembering I'm not that cool. I've just always been really good at school stuff, and, especially this year while taking AP Bio, it's hitting me that I'm Really Good At Some Stuff Compared To My Peers. Like top of the class and I do not study and I do almost all of my work last minute and then I draw on the notes in class when the teacher is lecturing. I'll keep thinking I'm going to fail a test or something and then we get it back and I'm the top or near the top of the curve. It's odd. Anyway, aside from academics, when I was younger and first watched death note, like Light, I also didn't understand how his method was bad. Because I was like 14 and hadn't considered morals much at that time. But I've been there so I understand. If I had that kind of power and hadn't had the opportunity to analyze his methods from and outside perspective, I could see myself doing something quite like what he did. Oh also, when I was little (like ages 5-12 maybe), I was a manipulative bitch. I've lost my edge though because. I can't read people and also I'm not terribly good at producing the correct tones myself anymore :p plus I'm smarter now and realizing lying willy nilly all the time isn't the best tactic. Oh, and right now, we almost have the same haircut. My hair's a little shorter on the side but that's it. K even have brown hair too.

L 9, that's a really interesting question to answer. I would think so but only under some conditions. He would have to minimize screen light (like from computers or phones) while I'm trying to sleep. Like cover the screen and his head in a blanket and block out the light from the rest of the room or something. Then uh he would need to share his yummy little sweet treats because they look yummy. If he doesn't want to share he just needs to learn which ones I don't like and get more of those. Which should be easy because I'm very picky (I don't like most chocolate, I don't like most cake, I don't like most pastries, I'm picky with cookies, etc.). I would also appreciate if Watari came along sometimes too. In L Change The World, L takes pretty good care of himself alone, but that was a crisis situation. In a normal situation he may be more inclined to let stuff slide for being able to work longer and I don't want him forgetting to shower or eat or sleep or anything. I could try to take care of him myself but idk if he would listen to me and idk if I would always have energy.

Light 9, Could I be roommates with him? Yes. Would I want to be? No. Well maybe. If we're talking Light with no Kira I think it'd be okay, but if we're talking Light with Kira that's a solid pass. Light with no Kira is a pretty okay guy, and I feel like he would learn to respect me even if he initially looked down on me for my generally alternative style and lack of social skills since I'm pretty smart and stuff. Not only do I think Light with Kira would be judgier but also I don't want to deal with his rehehehe shit. I don't want to live with a roomate who's constantly plotting and scheming and all that.

L 25, ahhh I watched death note for the first time like 4ish years ago so I barely remember. I think I liked him a bit, like I thought he was silly, but I was weirded out by how many shots of his feet rubbing together the anime had.

Light 25, once again, I remind the reader that I was young and dumb when I first watched the show so don't judge me here. I agreed that the world is a trash fire sometimes and I was pretty on board with Light's methods of dealing with that. I thought he was kinda an ass but that was it.

Thank you for asking me the silly questions and sorry for taking so long to get to them lol.

[moonchild-in-blue]

heya! hope you don't mind the litany of numbers here: 40, 42, 46, and 59?

Helloo, I do not mind at all!!! I will put these under the cut as well, because l o n g . Had to chew on them for a while oof.

(Favorite food/type of food? What do you feel like you’re missing from your life right now? What’s the most beautiful dream you can remember having? What’s the happiest day of your life you’ve ever had?)

40 - Favorite food/type of food?

Cereals / Ramen / Pasta / Pizza. I could live on those for the rest of my life.

I have a weird relationship with food, between allergies and being very picky and weird about textures and scents. But I love "breaksfast" food. Give me scrambled eggs, sourdough bread, pancakes, pastries, coffee, juice. Cut fruit! Cookies! Those are my "safe foods" if you will. Big enjoyer of sweet stuff hehe.

And Italian/Mediterranean cuisine - the south european is jumping out lmao.

42 - What do you feel like you’re missing from your life right now?

Strength. A sense of direction, and motivation to pursue the things I want to. And affection. I have wonderful friends, and a supporting family (even with its many, many issues), but I am no one's number one priority.

All of my friends have either gotten married, or in serious committed relationships in the past two years, and I can't help but feel left out. Which is stupid and ridiculous but. Idk. I am fully aware I am very not at my best mentally, and pursuing a romantic relationship right now would be disastrous for everyone involved. But there's always this lingering feeling of wanting to be loved like that, that I can't really shake, you know?

I feel very silly typing this but. It is what it is.

46 - What’s the most beautiful dream you can remember having?

Beautiful? I don't think I remember, most if them are very weird. There was this one where I was in this abandoned garden, in some old castle's ruins. There was lush greenery all around. I had a very long pretty dress, very Elizabeth Swan style. I climbed up some stairs and there was this guy there - he was beautiful as hell.

His face was illuminated by sunshine, copper curls shinning beautifully, and you could see his freckles so clearly, peppered in a long, pointy nose. He was just standing there, eyes closed, soaking in the sunshine. His lips were rosy and plush, but I don't think he said anything. I just stood looking at him, as if we had known each other our whole lives, and there was nothing to say but to enjoy each other's company.

I woke up with the weirdest feeling and had to sketch him right away, although I could not do him justice. I think about him sometimes.

59 - What’s the happiest day of your life you’ve ever had?

Watching Linkin Park live will always be the highlight of my life. And meeting some of my favourite bands!

My best friends' weddings were beautiful, and are also sacred moments cherished (hehehe). Rather then a specific day, I think about the summers me and my friends would spend together - those were the happiest days of my life, and I mourn for them profoundly. I was at my worst mentally, but we had each other in a way it will never be reproduced again.

[humanmaybe]

Tagged by @neighborlyarson (hehe ily)

Last song I listened to: THE SAME WORMS THAT EAT ME WILL SOMEDAY EAT YOU TOO

Last show I watched: Gf and I are watching The Last Of Us as it comes out but we haven't seen past the first episode LOL, still it looks so so so good so far and I'm loving every second (and crying)

… The real answer is that we're also trying to watch that Demon Slayer anime. I like the artistic choices, the plot is interesting/cute, but oh boy. I know I'm picky about anime but there are just certain tropes that get on my nerves and listening to that orange guy scream and whine all the time makes me want to just stop watching purely bc of him LMAO. The Annoying Coward Character Trope ruins most shows for me dfgsjdf but I'm trying to push past it

Last movie I watched: Knives Out with my dad, we still need to watch Glass Onion and I'm excited for it! I love a good detective story and Knives Out is a very fun one :3 We also watched The Menu, definitely more of a horror/thriller story but I liked the commentary and it was actually pretty funny sometimes. Definitely creative and a new fave!

Currently reading: … Technically I'm still reading the book about wetboys SHFGDKJ but I don't see myself continuing that any time soon (for those curious: it's the first book in the Night Angel trilogy. It fucking sucks, it contains a lot of pedophilia actual child R*PE, general shitty transphobic/homophobic/misogynistic/racist subtext, and its not even written well. It feels like the author played assassins creed and skyrim and then wrote shitty fanfiction about it. Idk why my friend gave this book to me. Don't read it.)

Current obsession: Besides my own custom blorbos? The Magnus Archives. Finally a podcast I can listen to without being so very bored. But if we talkin' MY blorbos *Microwaves The Lord & Lady of Ascension In My Brain*

Tagging: @kenjiyoru @hydepotions @skullpill

[shadowbannedthehedgehog]

i do feel hmm not lonely myb sometimes but isolated myb n frustrated at my perceived inability to connect with others and build relationships etc but then like whenever i am cold n stand offish n manage to keep a potential interaction tht cld be smth more at arms' length it makes me feel powerful idk i think myb in the past i wasnt as uh picky abt ppl myb n i wld be as kind and myb friendly to everyone esp if they were to me but i think i also now associate tht with n hv uh let tht become a sort of desperation for connection n ignoring my own needs etc now i feel more powerful in my ability to not "fall" into tht trap? i feel stronger not hmm having tht desperation for connection n to myb be liked tht i didn't really "vet" my friends? myb from a uhm part of insecurity i dont feel worthy so omg if this person wants to be my friend then i'll take it idk myb or myb not those things were true fully or to some extent in the past but now it's like idk esp w/ ppl who hmm ik try to "befriend" me it's so uh intoxicating to remain at more than arm's length ahah i'm the one you'll nvr have i'm unknowable yah idk i feel like i wasnt as picky in the past but now i'm super picky abt like idk man if u just simply dont pass my vibe test which is wack n like not specific but also specific like idk literally if i dont find u "cool" whatever tht means to me then i'm not even going to bother to waste my time which is probably like so stuck up lmao n then i feel lonely n unable to form connections but also like i look arnd n no one "available" seems uh worth of forming a connection with anyways i feel psychotic lmao i'm playing mind games? with myself with others i feel like i'm being lowkey mean to some ppl in some cases idk it's a uh new territory idk but also truly i'm so at ease vibing on my own n ppl generally dont interest me which is very uh bad way to look at it? like ppl are interesting but i dont really care to know u sorry idk whatever

[newjenns]

You gave such a thoughtful answer!!

Idk how to explain, but the names you like are very You-coded, like Pandora like the girl who unleashed evil in the world, Salem like the witch trials, Alistair and Evangeline also give me the edgy vibes that emanate from you/pos, they're pretty good names! I liked all of them tbh, they're pretty.

I really like how Rowan and Caspian sound together, both ending in "an" appeals to me, but I'm the kind of name nerd that likes cohesive sib-sets, that is one of the things that makes me very weirdly picky about names, they have to sound good together because I want a shit ton of kids. (<- Can barely look after myself)

My curse with girl names is that my Brazilian ass Loves Anglo-sounding ones that would get my kid bullied, (went to school with a Dylan and the poor boy was made fun of a lot because of the gringo name) like I'd love to name a kid Nora, but that literally means "daughter-in-law" in Portuguese.

I like the subtle book references in the names you picked, the names I like are like that also, from the past like 10 years I've dreamed of naming kids Bianca and Nicholas because of Bianca and Nico Di Angelo (not that subtle but they sound Good together), I also read a Percabeth fic where they had a Marina and the name stuck with me! and reading Pride and Prejudice kinda made me obsessed with the name Lydia because she was my favorite, part of me really likes Thomas and Alexander also, but that might be a bit too SBI coded so I don't think I'd use both even tho I liked the names before liking them.

- baby name anon (I'll start signing my asks with that now because I loved it, you'll probably get drama asks signed that eventually because I've been sending you asks for around 2 years lol)

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH 😭😭😭 this is the greatest compliment you can give me.

i feel like i’m almost in a similar boat as you bc i come from a spanish speaking family and it’s like well i should probably name my kids something my relatives can pronounce and also i don’t want them to make fun of or judge my names if i give my kids super white names ?3?3!&3 but i feel like that boat has already sailed like my cousins and siblings all have very white sounding names anyway

i also like sibling set names !!! this is part of why i like evangeline and pandora so much bc eve and pandora were the first women in their respective mythologies !! if i had two daughters this is probably what i would go with if i can convince my partner LOL i once tried to explain this idea to my mom like oh having a theme interwoven for your kids names like all space related names (like sisters nova and selene) or nature related names (ivy and river for example) and she thought that was kind of crazy so i would probably make it really subtle 😭

i get a little weird about having too similar sounds tho like for the longest time evangeline and evander were my favorites for a girl and a boy (which in my ideal world i have two kids and it’s a girl and a boy) but the evan being the first four letters of both made me pause liek ..? is this too similar and cringe …? so evander fell lower on the list bc of that unforchie dorchie oh also i was going to mention this in the og post but another boy name i kind of like is jason dean i like jason as a stand-alone (jason todd you are so famous) but jason dean kind of gives it that slay factor bc jason is a little short for me on its own and also it is a. reference to heathers and if i used that name i would in fact call my baby jd i wont even lie.

percy jackson has some of my favorite naming conventions ever !! all the kids have meaning woven into their names that relates to their godly parent like selina beauregard like literally beautiful to look at are we kidding. love it. i think you could absolutely get away with nicholas and bianca especially bc bianca is like such a minor character like i think only people who are nerds about pjo would get it and they would find it cool :) so funny you mention pride and prejudice tho bc i rewatched the movie just a few days ago and i was literally just thinking about the bennett sisters and THEIR names and how well they went together like elizabeth katherine lydia even jane and mary seem to fit in so well and kitty as a nickname is so cute too bad she’s so annoying 😭

thomas and alexander are very classic anglo names BUT. but i will say my first thought was. hamilton. ummmm

[scienceoftheidiot]

2 and 7 for the writer asks?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Hmm I'm really bad at remembering and identifying tropes - I'm the worst litteral piece of shit ever - so idk... I think maybe I'd like to give a go at ennemy-to-lovers but really I'm not sure I could pull off the ennemy part. Also I'd love to write an actual case fic but I can't plot for the hell of me so I'm just looking for good ones to read (and boy am I picky. I wish I wasn't).

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Okay so first I don't... Like my writing that much. I find it efficient, I'm proud I manage to write in relatively good English, but really literary speaking it's not that good. And that's okay, I want to tell stories, and I don't know shit about style and all, I just write what sounds good to my inner ear. So I have favourite stories of mine but I don't have favourite bits, if that makes sense ?

And since I need a long time to mull stuff over, I don't know what I think of my last writings. So I went to look for OOOOOOOLLLLLD stuff and found this.

When Emily, ready to sleep, walked past him, he caught her gently with his right arm. Her long, black hair down and braided for the night; her gown barely hiding her body. He couldn’t resist. He wanted to hold her, and craved her touch. It had been so long. They hardly talked nowadays, let alone had any intimate moments. He just wanted to feel her skin against his… maybe make love to her, if he was lucky. He would kill for that, actually. But Emily…

He kissed her on the cheek, lightly, and when she didn’t react, he kissed her on the lips. Passion taking him over, he pulled her against him, the kiss drawing longer, betraying his thoughts.

Emily pushed him back, her hand on his chest. She looked distressed, which had the effect of cold ice on him.

“Edmund… please.”

“I just want a kiss.”

He saw Emily’s eyes drift to his scar, and close. He knew it was not the right thing to say, but he had to. His words came out in a low, husky voice, his face close to her, nearly buried in her neck.

“I just want you. I need you…”

Emily stepped away from him, and he let his arm fall at his side.

“I cannot, Edmund.” She tucked herself in bed, turning away. He could feel her tension when he settled next to her. He tried to keep his voice even, and soft.

“Can I hold you, at least?”

“Please, put your clothes back on, Edmund.”

Half frustrated, half abashed, he got out of bed. But he didn’t resent her for it - it was understandable. He just felt sad. Just a little more hollow. He had kept on his long johns, but had to pull his shirt back on, triggering a jolt of pain in his shoulder. He suppressed his groan and wince. But he couldn’t suppress his impulse to say:

“I miss you.

“I miss our daughter.” Emily’s reply was dry, her voice almost shaking.

He stopped as he was walking back to bed. That was the last step of all conversations. Always. He could never answer her. There was nothing to say.

Context and why I like it : this is a Ripper Street fic, and it's a prequel - so all of this tries to be the closest possible from canon, and just tries to fill the blanks as to what the MC, Edmund, has been through before the events of the first episode. We know, but we're not shown. So I wanted to show those, and this chapter delves on him slowly estranging himself from his wife as they grieve their daughter's loss - her being convinced she's dead, him convinced she's alive and intent on finding her (and unbeknownst to Emily, feeling all the guilt for losing her because it was his fault she was there)(that's not really a spoiler btw. But what is a spoiler is IS SHE ALIVE OR NOT?). They love each other, still, but this is setting them apart. I think I got the right feeling there, the weight, the fact that Edmund still tries (very clumsily and stupidly) to reach for Emily, and she just won't let him because come on Edmund are you dumb? (Yes he is) Also while using the scar on his shoulder - he got burnt during the accident where their daughter was lost - as a physical reminder of it. It's engraved in his flesh, the loss, the guilt, and it drives Emily yet further away. I think it's one of the good stuff I wrote (and incidentally a piece that is not TOO long and it's already TOO LONG I AM SORRY).

[succubuskai]

Ugh I need help. I have such a difficult time finding a man. I have a major size kink, like if a guy is not like 6’6 I am just struggling to be attracted to them. It makes me feel bad and so superficial and makes it genuinely impossible to find someone with having a huge list of qualifications for a boyfriend. I’ve been abused in the past and I get the ick from anyone who reminds me of my ex. I hate being so picky, I wish the perfect person for me would just come into my life finally 🥹

Would you still date someone who didn’t match up with your size kink? Would you be with someone who was shit at dirty talk and wasn’t very kinky? So hard to find doms in my area who are tall and gentlemanly and smart and a are romantic like… on the same page as me. I’m such a hopeless romantic and just want my dreams to come true, is that too much to ask 😭

The thing is, I’m like very hot and adorable and would literally make the perfect submissive bb girl so where is my dream dom??

Major apologies if I sound really annoying and like an egomaniac lol. I just feel at such a loss, I feel like I have to settle for someone who won’t fulfill my needs.

So first of all felt this and ily for sharing. You sound like me and I am so sorry, but hey you’re not alone! I’m also sorry to hear about your past relationship and it makes sense to me to avoid people who remind you of your ex. You probably already have, but before getting back in the dating pool please take some time to heal and even consider therapy so your ex has less of an impact on your future (it helped me a ton in the past & ofc there’s tons of other good coping options and you do you!!). “I wish the perfect person would come into my life” SAME!! But I never leave the house rip. As a taller girl (5’7”) who is primarily attracted to taller people (6ft or taller) with a size kink… it’s a struggle. Everyone in my area is short lmao, so honestly it may just be your dating location that needs to change! I think to some extent we’re allowed to be superficial lol. So preferring parters a certain height/body type is acceptable imo. Like my best friend only goes for guys with dad bods and I think that’s totally acceptable & I support her. I doooo however think that personality should be valued wayyy above physical appearance. Like I want a kind, communicative, patient, soft dom/me (I’m including kink in personality idk if that’s okay or not lmao anyways…. to me it’s def necessary for them to at least lean towards being dominant).

To answer your questions, yes I would date someone who wasn’t super tall, no I wouldn’t date someone I wasn’t sexually compatible with. They wouldn’t have to be good at dirty talk or -insert any of my kinks- but I would prefer it lmao but that’s definitely something that can be improved upon!! I’m not scared to tell my partners what I want and what would help me get off (pft) and I would hope they would be honest & communicative w/me too!! <3

You’re not annoying or an egomanic!! You sound confident and I love it! If you aren’t happy with someone then you shouldn’t be with them. And don’t settle for less than what you really want, like if those are all required for you then that is perfectly fine! You will find someone that checks all your boxes one day but for now don’t rush it and try to not worry about it tbh. Focus on you and have fun with life & I feel like you’ll attract what you want. Ty again for the ask and I hope you find what you’re looking for soon!!! ♡♡︎♡︎︎

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Bro I wasn’t expecting tumblr to actually send it twice damn I thought it got stuck loading that commenting thing is so funny though that would fr be me

LMAOOO RIGHT??? It’s so on point to the oaeu vibes I saw that and oaeu was my very first thought

LMAO Nagi stays winning in the end fr pursuit really is just writing itself it’s crazy how it’s development just comes so easily

SHSHSHS no we’re just the power duo forming the whole of calculus dw

Saes hair is truly something……idk his whole Emo personality also doesn’t do it for me like not because it’s emo but something about the way it’s done is not very appealing to me….anyways…

SHSHS REAL I see those paragraphs every once in a while and I’m like wait so what’s this doing in the Karasu tag….also when someone people mass copy paste their tags and end up tagging characters that aren��t even mentioned in what they posted im like HUH Karasu fr a rare sight but wait if you actually made more smaus I would fr eat that up it’s funny because just the other day I was like “I need to read a funny smau because whatever I just read was not it” so I just reread what you posted for me earlier on LMAOOO (truly peak)

Pause wait what website just told listed it under ground ghost combos then??? Maybe I accidentally clicked a wiki-ass link then but you get my point LMAOAOA um anyways

Yesss that’s basically how I am too LMAO imagine a triple typed pokemon that’d be kinda funny OOOOH wait I can see Rin being the royal guard in a royal au wait why do I feel like I’ve actually read one where he’s in that position…ok anyways I also thought of Hiori but that’s pretty obvious given his whole parental situation LMAO (giving Wb) wait actually maybe Reo?? Kinda on the same lines of Hiori with parental restrictions where his parents are picky about choosing someone with idk connections or high standing

LMAOO I mean now that you mention it if you want I wouldn’t mind both HAHA I originally meant like pokemon themselves and how you’d try to combine them in combat/format the teams LOL not a dumb question at all I should’ve clarified whoops

50% opps that spread is kinda crazy LMAOO aiku please be my wingman FR imagine you pull something like what sae did on him like you approach Karasu and chicken out and you say “yeah Aiku thinks your hair looks ass” HAHAHA

CRYING when you change your blog theme for April fools I’ll go by Isagi anon for a day

LMAOOOO Aiku being like “lil bro please help a man out get this ratata AWAY” and Niko makes quick work of it wait aikus sweating bullets and the way Niko wouldn’t care to be set up with someone but just goes with it anyways HAHAHA

Imagine hoopa and aegislash join forces and hoopa opens a portal to that isekai dimension again nagi and reader look over like “fuck no not again” crying houndoom is me mourning pursuit Barou AHAHAHA GARCHOMP NIDOQUEEN IN A TUX AND DRESS imagine Karasu picked them out with yukis advice (begrudgingly) maybe they ran into each other at the shop but since yukis a coordinator and all he’d totally pick the outfits that go the hardest

PLEASEEEE LMAOOO the term programming princess has me dying THE FREESTYLE PISSING actually one of my fav quotes it was so funny I remember reading those tags and crying “multiple dick mentions but ITS NOT NSFW”

SHSHSHSH OTOYA LMAOO no aiku still has many aikulations to preach about he’s not ready to go

LMAO hey I mean content is content pursuit ftw also unrelated but I’m crying the Duolingo edit with Rin HAHAHA you should edit that one emo girl to be him too(the one with the purple hair)

- Karasu anon

LMAOOOO tumblr is so unpredictable it’s ridiculous it always does the exact opposite of what you want it to do!! like it’ll delete ask drafts when you’re trying to type them and double send when you don’t want them to…either way it’s problematic 😩

oaeu is basically canon ig HAHAH we’ve got oaeu tik toks now!! and yesss pursuit is more like me just peeling back the layers and looking at the world that exists already instead of coming up with it as i go…honestly that’s one of the things i really like about just worldbuilding and have vague plot ideas but then leaving the idea alone for a while — i feel like it marinates a bit and then if i end up coming back to it (like i did with pursuit) when i’m ready to actually write it it’s already developed by itself in the time i’ve been gone (which sounds crazy but it makes sense to me LMAOOO)

together we’re basically isaac newton…that reminds me that my high school calc teacher had a poster hanging in his room that said “sir isaac newton died a virgin and that’s what he gets for inventing calculus” or something LMAOO idk why but it’s giving oaeu…not aiku himself though but like oaeu chris prince would def have that kind of poster (karasu and otoya got it for him and made yuki give it to him and he’s so happy to get a gift from yuki that he hangs it up in his office and treasures it forever)

i feel like sae is just emo in a cold way not even a funny way?? like we’ve discussed that we like sassy guys (ex nagi and karasu) and i feel like one emo i DO like (megumi but lowkey only his miraverse version) is also very sarcastic and whatnot which makes him funny and witty and entertaining to write whereas sae is just like. blunt and rude but he’s not even clever about it if that makes sense HAHA

speaking of megumi…jjk’s finally over…can’t lie i was very very unimpressed with the ending but uh at least it’s done ig 😭 lowkey feels unreal that it’s over

NO BECAUSE THOSE PARAGRAPHS LOWKEY HAVE ME HEATED like ok i do know some people who write those so i can’t be too outward about how much i dislike it but come on…put some effort in…i’m not trying to be the fic gatekeeper here or anything but literally just take the time to put one character’s name in the fic because what do kaiser gojo and eren jaeger even have in common to have a fic all be referring to them??

HELPP not the pokémon knock off wiki leading you astray 😩 but yes i agree i was also confused that there weren’t ANY rock ghosts LMAOO

i think in one of the newer games there’s some mechanic with triple typing?? but i don’t get it so i couldn’t explain it HAHAH agreed i can see rin being a royal guard OR now that i’m thinking about it i have no idea how i didn’t see it earlier but BAROU!!! he would absolutely eat in that role because he has that sass that meticulousness that physique that discipline he’s actually even better suited for it than rin in my opinion…kunigami could pull it off too but idk i don’t fuck w ginger anime characters like that so i can’t explore that avenue any further 😭 i agree hiori is the obvious pick…actually now that you mention it that’s exactly the route that i’m taking for the reo fic!! which leads into the next paragraph well ig 🤩

uhh honestly i don’t even know half of the pokémon because they’re all from the newer gens and of the ones that aren’t i don’t think i have used any in my playthroughs?? so unfortunately no team breakdowns in that sense (although for some reason scovillain is giving me strong kunigami vibes…i can really see him having one LMAOAO maybe because we’ve slandered it sm) BUT for the tentative plans i have so far (these are subject to change on a whim so don’t be too married to them 😰)

for kaiser it’s angst in a fantasy au so i think i’m going to go with this au idea i had for him a while ago when i was searching for my next long fic (this is pre hollyhock) and just condense it…sadly kaiser is very similar to karasu in that he’s incredibly easy to write about (although his characterization is finicky he’s agreeable to most situations so by all rights i could be righting him more but i just don’t like him SLKJFHSJ) anyways he’s either an angel or a demon (haven’t decided which) and reader summons him to solve some problem or smth i have to do some research into a specific myth i’m thinking of but that’s the very very basic edition!!

sae is enemies to lovers in a fantasy au ngl no idea how i’ll approach this because even though enemies to lovers is such a common trope with sae i feel like i don’t see it?? i also am not a huge enemies to lovers fan (this is so controversial but i think it’s overdone, never as good as people think it is, can lean misogynistic, and is usually cringy “tension” to up “spice”…ik childhood friends to lovers is considered boring in today’s climate and i always get hate for this but i think it is the SUPERIOR trope and not at all boring if written well…childhood friends angst >>>> “enemies” angst) but anyways rant aside i’ll probably figure something out fantasy au’s are super easy to come up with stuff for so it shouldn’t be too difficult

i also have 0 idea what i’ll do with hiori but since you said miscommunication i know for a FACT it’s somehow going to involve karasu meddling i just get such strong vibes…like whatever we do bro is going to be involved in some way shape or form it’s a must HAHAHA

for reo like i said i’m thinking something where it’s the reader not being good enough for his parents…they requested childhood friends to lovers and angst so maybe something that leans towards peregrine a bit?? not as much but kind of like how reo made reader be his friend but maybe instead of reader resisting it it’s his parents once they discover that she’s a random nobody?? idk this will be workshopped but that’s the general vibe i’m getting i think

BAROUUUU yeah i have zero idea what i’ll do for barou it’s enemies to lovers and relationship of convenience?? for some reason though i just have this sense that there may be aikulations involved HAHAH

love at first sight + misunderstandings + karasu?? i’m getting a very fwtkac vibe from this where maybe he’s like madly in love with reader but he’s a dumbass and thinks he’s mediocre so he accidentally keeps offending her and she thinks he hates her but he’s obviously just a stupid loser simp

sae number 2 is relationship of convenience plus angst i feel like probably smth similar to the instrument perhaps?? like that kind of general set up where sae’s pr team is just tired of dealing with him and his rude ass comments and the messes they keep ending up in because of it so enter reader dating him to save face or smth along those lines

KARAKUNI LOVE TRIANGLEEEE no idea what i’ll do here but it’ll hurt hehe

i’ve already describe the isagi one so we’ll skip that but then we have noel noa and i rlly want a kind of murder mystery vibe to it almost?? like reader getting implicated in some case (maybe as a witness) so she and noa team up and try to find the criminal and there’s a really dry humor mixed with more serious scenes throughout

the person who made the normal + rock request for sae actually gave me an entire prompt for it regarding reader being his tutor in spanish but considering how much sae i have to write and how he’s not one of my favs i don’t mind the specificity or else i wouldn’t have known what to do lowkey LMAOO so that’s where i’m going with that and then rin’s is childhood friends and modern au so. ig just a classic childhood friends moment?? like white butterfly but not as angsty maybe

PLSSS aiku’s always catching strays i love him though…THE RATTATA omg or imagine it’s a scatterbug and that’s how niko eventually ends up with a spewpa which ofc evolves into a vivillon and bonus points if tullia calls aiku later and is like “so what did you do with that scatterbug i sent you 🧐” and aiku’s like “uhhhh my girlfriend’s son captured it by accident” LMAOOO

ISAGI ANON SDLKJGHS i’m crying also omg nooo nagi and reader would just be like “have a nice honeymoon!!” and shove their daughter and charles in there to figure shit out those two are DONE with the adventurous life they just want to stay at home and relax 😭 HAHA omg yuki would be so happy to help karasu too like he thinks this is finally their bonding moment and they’ll actually be friends now but then he makes the mistake of bringing his manectric out to ask for advice and karasu releases a string of expletives so foul yukimiya almost loses his hearing along with his vision

i feel like otoya is just the one that would randomly pass away LKSJFS like that makes no sense but not even in angsty way (this time…cough hollyhock cough) just like if i had to imagine any of the pursuit characters up in the clouds with barou it WOULD be otoya 😩 AGREED aiku is needed to spread his knowledge and wisdom on planet earth it’s not his time yet fr 🙏🏻

THE DUOLINGO RIN I WAS LAUGHINGGG MAKING IT because like he loves owls and i saw someone make a divider set with owls and as a joke they threw the duolingo owl in there and i was about to reblog and be like “somebody write a rin itoshi fic and use the duolingo owl as the divider” and then i was struck by the vision of him AS the duolingo owl and it all spiraled from there 😭