#but i've always seen that as a purely practical 'who would actually be capable of doing this' issue as opposed to sentimentality.

[astralleywright]

there's nothing orym would ask of the other hells that he wouldn't do himself, which is sort of the problem, really

[owlhousetheories]

The Owl House is over and I'm not coping (minor spoilers for finale)

One of the biggest reasons I love this show is how well the writing is. Morals and messages come through without being preachy or obvious - like other kids shows can be. I've never seen a show wherein they show the difference between "I did something wrong, but I did it for the right reasons" and "I did something wrong, but I refuse to admit it I did it, because I'm right."

As early as season two, Luz is so worried that she's caused all the events leading up to the current plot - Belos' rise to power, forced covens, death or imprisonment of wild witches. All because she wanted to help the nice human she had befriended, who immediately betrayed her.  She carries that guilt believing that if she’d never given him that light glyph, his plans would never have happened. No matter what other people tell her, she shoulders all the blame, convinced that her and Belos are one and the same. She even says as much in “Watching and Dreaming” when talking to the Titan.

Luz: Well, Belos says he's trying to save humanity. And we are saying we want to save our families. So, isn't that the same thing? Don't—Don't these feelings come from the same place?

She isn’t aware that by questioning whether she’s done the right thing – whether her goal is more noble than Belos’ – proves that she’s nothing like him. And it’s so refreshing to have a protagonist in a show make a bad decision but make it for the right reason. This idea that the hero can’t screw up, and if they do, it’s purely for selfish or stupid reasons that they must learn from.

Because the reality is that everyone has this capability. Sometimes you’ll make a decision or a choice in life with the best intentions, and it blows up in your face. Does it make you a bad person? Are you doomed to a life of failure because of it? No. Because, just like Luz, you did it for the right reason and you can work to fix your mistakes. And as she learns from the Titan, she’s far from the first person to make that mistake.

Compare her to Belos. Belos shrouds everything he does in the guise of “protecting humanity.”  He came to the Boiling Isles to save his human brother. He wanted to kill Evelyn because she corrupted said brother. He killed his brother to save him. He offered to take Luz with him through his portal to save her. He even uses this mentality while pretending to be the benevolent leader of the Isle. He created covens to protect the people of the Boiling Isles. He persecuted wild witches to ensure they wouldn’t harm the people. I could go on. The point is, for him, he is always in the right - even with actions that directly go against his beliefs. I could understand killing witches wouldn’t conflict with puritan beliefs, but killing your own brother? Practicing magic? Talking to/making a deal with a false god (the Collector)?

Nothing is ever on him – I killed Caleb because he was corrupted, I mutilated myself in order to destroy the witches from the inside, I tricked the Collector in order to accomplish my magic genocide. It doesn’t matter how evil or conflicting the action is, Belos does it because in the end he believes he’s in the right. Nothing demonstrates this more than his actions in season 3. Even while in the human realm – the goal we’ve been led to believe is his end goal – he still feels the need to go back and complete the genocide. Because if he doesn’t, then he was wrong about the witches. He was wrong about everything. The man is a pile of corruption barely hanging on to life, only able to actively control anything so long as he has a host, and he still is convinced that it’s the witches’ fault he's like this. He still has this need to be right.

Titan: You assume Belos's goal comes from a genuine place. But that man doesn't care about about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion

And to be honest, his actions mimic those of actual bigots and abusers. The unending need to be right, to be the victor. Using a scapegoat – I’m doing this for humanity/the children/families/government – to justify violence and hatred. Refusing to back down; even when presented with evidence that they're wrong. And above all, the reveal that if you peel back their “justification” all you’d actually find is a hateful person lashing out because they can’t control the narrative and people are doing things they personally don’t approve of.

Keeping in mind, these two perspectives and the thematic importance in both aren’t overtly shown. It’s subtle, but shown just enough to get the message. In short, the writers of Owl House are thematic geniuses and I’m never going to emotionally recover from this show.

(Also screw Disney because this could’ve been explored so much deeper if we’d had more time).

[reginarubie]

The fact ASOIAF made sibling incest so... normal?

Ciao nonny!,

well if you think about it sibling incest to keep the blood pure has been a common practice of many dynasties in the centuries.

In Egypt for example (the pharaonic dynasties as well as the Hellenic one); or in the Persian empire and to a very much more disturbing degree it wasn't even only sibling marriages, but also parent-child.

But certainly the ASOIAF world has brought it back to the public knowledge, for sure I don't remember another piece of fiction which had several important characters as members of incestual dynasties, not with such a degree of popularity anyway.

I don't think ASOIAF made it so normal, I think it just shed light to what people are capable of doing for blood purity and power, it is disturbing to a degree, and as I've said before I'm still hoping GRRM will actually get out of his magician hat something incredibly real which would make the entirity of it and its consequences even more plausible. Like have Tyrion find some physical abnormality (like the Habsburg' chin, for example) in Daenerys that she doesn't see in herself because she was raised by Viserys whom believed that Targaryen were better bred than anyone else, and superior and lived all her life in a different continent where some traits can be seen as beautiful even though to the occidental eye they are not. That'd be a real masterfully done treat and I'd love Martin to have extinguished so the entire matter to its full potential.

He has already given them ‘madness’ as in several different types of mental illness (from the top of my head), which is a consequence of inbreeding (not as the sole cause, but people who are the product of several centuries of so close inbreeding are more fragile and will more possibly suffer from a mental illness):

extreme cruelty

religious fervor brought to the extremes

messianic and narcissistic personalities

depression

obsession with prophecies of grandeur and blood purity

It would be bringing it to full circle to show us that it has also physical consequences.

Still.. yes Martin masterfully brought the topic back to the public eye, that is for sure.

As always thank you for dropping by, and sending all my love ~G.

[azucanela]

Hey, can I get an Bakugou/Shouto/Shinsou hcs where they have a crush on their classmate that haves an astronomic quirk? I had seen an artwork where the guy is just like an universe force full of stars on his body and I've just had this idea. I hope you having a good day✨✨✨

REACTING TO S/O WITH ASTRONOMIC QUIRK [GN HEADCANNONS]

ft. bakugo katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, todoroki shouto

SUMMARY: in which Y/N has an astronomic quirk and the boys can’t help but fall for her. 

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

WARNINGS: mentions of threats, fluff, really pg tbh

A/N: there is a total of two gifs for shinsou hitoshi that exist so for the sake of fairness we shall move away from gifs! also i hope you have a nice day too bb <3

BAKUGO KATSUKI

the volume in this bus is

astronomical.

okay but fr you have an astronomic quirk that essentially allows you to do anything in relation to the universe, so you’re out here making black holes with your hands and shooting out some cosmic energy at your opponents, your lil super weapon is a supernova

whenever you use your quirk your body literally glows, like it looks like a galaxy on your body, your skin literally looks straight out of a photo from NASA, its almost as if your hair becomes a liquid as it floats into the air, defying gravity, wisps of energy occasionally coming off, speaking of defying gravity you can fly because gravity happens to not exist in space um float float woo 

moral of the story, you are POWERFUL, scoring in the top five amongst your class, depending on your control over your quirk and creativity, you may have even outdone katsuki

he hates you for this, and despises you because you’re just so good at being a hero, and yet everyone is still a student. unlike him you hopefully have your emotions in check, and are far more capable of social interactions, which are very important as a hero! for rescues, and interviews, and team ups! collaboration is key.

as he grows as a person, he also grows out of this mentality of despising those who are better than him and instead begrudgingly seeking their assistance to improve. so congrats, you earned his respect! you are one of few that his managed this task!

he just kinda forces himself into your life, not that you mind, but it is a little random when he just kinda plops down beside you during lunch and starts eating, looking at you as though he’s daring you to say something

you just raise a brow and move on, continuing to speak with your friends who remain baffled by his sudden presence

katsuki is gonna be asking you to train 24/7, he wants to improve his skills and you are one of few he considers worthy, you don’t mind because he’s also talented and your quirks are pretty well suited for each other in combat practice

realistically you could just suck him into one of your black holes but he doesn’t need to know that

anyways during one of these training sessions, after a while of actually getting to know you and stuff it just kinda hits him that you look really ethereal when you’re using your quirk, and wow you are beautiful

and now he’s been hit in the face by one of your cosmic blasts, and he is cursing and you are apologizing, coming over to his as the stars on your skin fade and your hair returns to normal

katsuki is BLUSHING as he realizes his mistake and he is desperately hoping you did not notice why he screwed up, swatting you away as you attempt to help him up from the floor, the remnants of your quirk’s glow still in the training room

he was here to be a hero. not to have stupid crushes.

you are definitely his first crush oh god. this boy is an emotional mess, he’s never felt like this, he never had the time or the desire to feel like this, katsuki has always felt like nobody else could keep up with him so why should he like anyone?

until someone could keep up with him, that someone being you

he likes you oh no. oh no. oh no. panic is all that is katsuki bakugo and he’s going to try and storm out but you’re like omg what the hell man???

everytime he sees you, especially when you’re using your quirk, he’s gonna get all blushy, and everyone is gonna notice how flustered he is, they’ll catch on pretty quick

accidentally stares at you in class and it frustrates him to no end when he begins to focus again and realizes he allowed his gaze to fall onto you

“you’re staring again bakugo 👀”

“SHUT UP.”

when you two start dating he’s gonna want to ask you to use your quirk when you’re alone just because he wants to admire you and how pretty it looks, but it is going to take a LOT of bullying and pushing to get him to reveal this

let him touch your starry skin he’ll be freakishly calm, and his touch will be so gentle because it is just so pretty and its you and it seems really out of character for him but your quirk is just so coming because at the end of the day it is you

moral of the story is stars calm our boy baku

SHINSOU HITOSHI 

the only person who hasn’t seen your quirk in action because he doesn’t get accepted into the Hero Course until later on. but he’s probably gonna see it for the first time at the UA Sports Festival.

you two are friends already! you wormed your way into his life, initially to his dismay but now he likes you as a friend, thats about to change

you probably just started sitting down at lunch with him randomly and he got really confused and you just kinda shrugged and were like, “you have nice hair.” 

that was it.

in all honesty, the purple color of his hair lowkey reminded you of your own quirk and you kinda just wanted to meet him and that’s what you did, after a while of hyping yourself up and backing out several times

regardless, it became a daily thing and you found yourself determined to befriend him, and you did! it was lovely, he was slowly accepting you and everything was going great, he was finally talking about stuff with you during lunch and he’d wave in the halls and woo!

anyways, the UA Sports Festival, you’re like the only person he knows so he’s paying attention to the festival purely for you, even when he gets eliminated

you’re about to go up against bakugo and allow me to explain some of the other wonderful parts of the universe

a wormhole = a white hole and i think its still rather theoretical and not proven but right now in this instance they are definitively real! so you can teleport with you quirk basically! not that anyone knows this because you’ve been saving this lovely ability

there is also black holes but that is a little excessive for a festival, and cosmic blasts, but bakugo has blasts of his own so

shinsou is watching and then you begin GLOWING AND HE’S SO SHOCKED MAN, like your skin looks like a picture of the galaxy, and your hair is glowing and floating in the air, hands sparking with wisps of energy radiating off of you 

its beautiful, you’re beautiful, bye bye platonic feelings, shinsou just fell in love by accident

he probably liked you already but it took this moment for him to realize that he liked you. 

shinsou is watching in astonishment as a white hole opens up in front of you, bakugo blasting forward at an incredibly quick rate and shooting through the hole, just to end up outside the arena

that’s the story of how bakugo almost killed you on camera and you won the sports festival :D shinsou thinks you are so COOL but he’s gonna be really nonchalant about it and be lowkey when he asks you about your quirk

tbh he’s gonna be bashful, but he’ll ask for a demonstration of your abilities because he really just wants to see that again, and when you say yes he’s pretty ecstatic though he isn’t expressing it.

“hey.. why didn’t you tell me about your quirk?”

“you never asked”

“would you mind uh..”

you’re looking at him like what you want boy

“would you mind showing me your quirk?” the words come out quicker than he’d wanted but you don’t seem to notice

“sure! right now?” 

you two are in his room and he doesn’t know why but seeing your body begin to glow, beautiful stars lighting up your skin, it feels rather intimate, and he finds himself blushing

you’re giving him a demonstration of your other abilities but he can only really focus on just how pretty you look because WOW

in general, he’s gonna try to catch glimpses of you using your quirk as often as he can, though it is difficult since you are in different classes 

when you two start dating it’s probably around the time he gets accepted into the hero course, and he feels like he’s behind so naturally he asks his girlfriend and best student in the class for help training!

get’s distracted the first couple of times he sees you use your quirk in class, but he manages to get over it after a while, mostly

not ashamed to blatantly stare at you in class, because you are his girlfriend and he is VERY proud to say that

TODOROKI SHOUTO

welp

this boy

is probably an astronomy nerd, idk why but i can see it, he just knows an odd amount of things about the universe and stuff or anything astronomy related

where’s this constellation? oh ask shouto for some reason he knows

honestly though, he had a lot of tutors growing up since he spent most of his time at home “training” with his father, shouto didn’t go to school and was instead taught by these tutors, and astronomy happened to be a very prominent subject

due to his blunt personality, he’s the only person who is gonna outright say that you look really beautiful when you use your quirk, and everyone is gonna think they’re hearing things, but he has no shame repeating it when asked

you’re blushing this time around ma’am

like you’re all demonstrating quirks as Aizawa pretends to determine if you are going to get expelled or not, and you kinda just begin to glow, your skin looks like the literal galaxy and your hair is glowing a variety of colors, becoming an liquified thing as wisps of energy radiate off you and yoU’RE JUST FLYING ACROSS THE FIELD WOW

space has no gravity because people go float, this is why you also float, but it is a controlled float! you also have cosmic blasts, a funky black hole, a white hole that definitively exists in this universe, yeah astronomic quirk looking good rn

“that’s incredible.”

“im sorry what did you say?”

“her quirk is very impressive.”

later on probably after the two of you are slowly befriending each other, shouto finds you interesting and he wants to learn more about your quirk, and he thinks you would be a decent training partner seeing as the two of you are at the top of your class, so he starts associating with you

and associating with you becomes sitting with you during lunch, sharing his food, studying with you, training with you, he’s spending a lot of his time with you and the entire class notices because shouto is normally way more withdrawn what is this??

its not until one particular training day that uraraka wonders if the dekusquad should get involved, you’re using your quirk and she, todoroki and the others are on the sidelines just watching as they wait for their turn to spar

shouto is staring at you, eyes wide, mouth open with wonder and he just says, “wow. that’s beautiful.”

uraraka is like DID I HEAR YOU RIGHT HAHGAS

he likes yessir, that is a gorgeous person that i simp for look at them glowing so pretty yes yes

idk who approaches who first, either shouto is so confused by this weird feeling he gets whenever he is around you and starts avoiding you, opting to visit midoriya since he’s knowledgable and asks what is wrong with him. or uraraka insists on an intervention since homeboy is clearly in love with you and someone has to tell his deku smh

once he realizes he likes you hes probably gonna be quiet about it for a hot minute, and you find his silent behavior odd because to everyone else he’s like this, yes, but with you he tended to talk more and now you’re like??

shouto is trying to figure out what to do about this situation because this was an ACCIDENT and he does fear losing you since you are like the only person he considers a friend at this point.

you confront him and he’s kinda like, “apparently im in love with you.” he cracks pretty fast about whats going on and he is really upfront with you and you’re just like WELP

thats how you start dating icy hot :)

only one that is not ashamed to ask you to use your quirk because PRETTY SHINY WOW gorgeous just art. definitely takes time to just stare at your glowing skin, connecting the stars with his fingers in astonishment he’s gonna tell you how pretty you are 24/7 even if you don’t use your quirk because you are just that beautiful

loves telling you random astronomical facts, tries to see if the things he learns can be used by you since your quirk is based off space

accidentally finds astrology and is now lowkey obsessing over zodiac signs and nearly got his ass beat by bakugo because he had a temper tantrum and shouto was like “this is just because you are an Aries.”

power couple woo

you aren’t just his world, you’re his universe <3

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

I've always seen stories portraying Zhuilingyi with LJY as the one to join SZ/JL, which is good and all, gimme all that LJY angst - but consider: LSZ and LJY are childhood friends and get together probably before canon starts, and JL is the awkward third wheel who starts falling for them and reacts very badly when he figures it out.LJY screams at him for being a prissy princess and not telling them how he feels and then kisses him and LSZ's just. Smiling at both of them and blushing like crazy.

sorry it took me so long to reply, but your ask changed my life and i had to write something about this moment, because you’re absolutely right -we need more flustered!jl in this universe.

just, i thought it’d be shorter, but honestly i couldn’t limit myself into commenting your idea and nothing more. FORGIVE THIS FOOLISH MASTER!

“Formation!”

Lan JingYi nods swiftly, all previous chattiness gone from his demeanour. He follows Lan SiZhui with practiced steps, dancing lethally but gracefully around their prey. He seems as elegant as the other, a quality one would not think JingYi capable of -which is just stupid, he is a Lan, after all, they are born like that.

Jin Ling’s heart thunders in his chest. He grips the handle of his sword, grits his teeth, but he doesn’t close his eyes.

They stay wide open, and take everything in -the resentful energy leaving the corpses under the array created by SiZhui and JingYi’s combined strength, they perfect coordination, pure white robe swaying in the night wind and blades flashing sleek and crystal clear as entities of their own.

The corpses stop moving, falling on the ground, and the two Lan disciples halt, breathes not even heavy, energy quivering excitedly around them and on their faces.

SiZhui’s ponytail winds up on his left shoulder, forehead ribbon fluttering for a moment. The boy’s relief gentles his facial features, but the residual rush from the battle still lingers on his contracted arms, straight back, drawn sword, vigilant and focused eyes.

He throws a side glance at the other side of the formation, nodding in silent acknowledgement at his childhood friend.

JingYi’s mouth opens in a wide grin, the smooth skin at the corners and on his cheekbones wrinkling in a joyful expression, forelock swinging and trying futilely to cover the twinkling in his irises. He seems on the verge of saying something -stops when SiZhui tosses something. JingYi catches it swiftly, laughing at the sight of a juicy looking loquat -Wei WuXian must have rubbed it off on him in the long run. Things like how did you know I was hungry? and As if I still need to ask you hover between them, needless to voice out loud.

Then, SiZhui turns and walks toward him, smiling tenderly at Jin Ling. So they know I’m still here he huffs, eyeing warily the loquat he is being offered.

Lan SiZhui, “You should eat, Young Master Jin. It is important to retain one’s strength until the very end.”

Jin Ling knows, he is not stupid, nor does he need all this curtesy and big words and long sentences every time he is being addressed by either of them.

He hesitates, sheathes away his sword, falters toward SiZhui. Hears JingYi giggles at his clumsiness and blushes angrily at the patient gleam in the boy’s gaze when he reaches out at snatches the loquat, being careful not to touch his hand.

A second passes, then two. SiZhui lowers his arm and presses his lips tight.

“Let’s keep going and be careful, we are almost home” he advices, and goes back to JingYi’s side. The boy, though, keeps his gaze on Jin Ling’s grumpy expression, a tactful glance from SiZhui warning him from saying anything rude or too nosey. He rolls his eyes and looks over at the Lanling Young Master -Jin Ling notices.

“What?” he bursts out, all his muscles tensing and quaking in shame under their bewildered expressions.

“I didn’t even say anything!” JingYi protests before SiZhui can hold him back.

Jin Ling, “Then why were you looking at me like that?”

Lan JingYi, “Like that? Like what?!”

“JingYi…” SiZhui admonishes, putting a hand on his shoulder. JingYi relaxes slightly, but a frown still mars his features.

Jin Ling clenches his fists and diverts his gaze elsewhere, walking forward and moving past the two of them, slowly abandoning their hunting field.

He hears JingYi complain about something, but his whining is cut short -probably thanks to SiZhui. Jin Ling bites his lips until the physical pain he feels is stronger than the black hole in his stomach and the confusion in his mind -until it is louder than the worried whispers behind his back and the shuddering questions burning into his veins.

—

JingYi is staring at him.

He tries to not react, to make it seem as if he has not noticed yet -though how can he, when he is sitting exactly in front of him, back at him, JingYi’s gaze piercing it as if he was attempting to set Jin Ling’s robe aflame.

Lan WangJi has probably noticed as well and decided to not say anything, to just keep going with his lesson. As long as no one interrupts him or distracts the other disciples, there was no true need to assign punishment.

Jin Ling knows he has to endure it.

He also knows he has no explanation to give him.

It’s not like he is not aware that he is behaving strangely -it feels stupid in his eyes, too. The truth is, every little thing the Lan boys do irritates him.

How they don’t need to talk to understand each other, and appear to use common speech only when they want to relate something to him. How perfectly they fit one other while night-hunting -how beautiful they are while doing so, Jin Ling bitterly adds.

He has always noticed these little things but then, then they had to invite him to Cloud Recesses to study with him for a bit and his uncle had to accept their offer, because do you have a good enough reason to refuse the Lan’s kind offer, Jin Ling?

As a matter of fact, he does not -and that’s what makes thing worse. How can he explain to his uncle something he can’t fully grasp himself?

And then he had to see them silently sneak away after dinner the first day, JingYi holding SiZhui’s hand tightly and the other smirking at him while they made their way between the trees, in a more secluded area.

He didn’t know what possessed him to follow them -what made him keep quiet when he saw them whispering with such comfort, smile with such confidence, kiss with such ease it was clearly not the first time for them.

Jin Ling felt quite flustered and confused -but more than that, he had no explanation for how strongly he had reacted to that. The way his chest had tightened slightly, something similar to envy weighing down on him, similar but not identical -he knows it wasn’t simple like that, he was accustomed to envy and could easily recognise it, though not accept it. The way he had been unable to tear his gaze away, shamefully following the path drawn by SiZhui’s fingers on JingYi’s side when he gently coddled him against a tree, the boy softly moaning his name and smiling lovely while his neck got peppered his little kisses.

The way his body had responded to that -and how he fled the scene so quickly, he got reprimanded with a no running in Cloud Recesses by a laughing Wei WuXian, among all.

Accepting to go night-hunting with them weeks later had been more a flustered mistake than a heartfelt agreement. He had bitterly watched them triumph as the perfect team over and over again, too focused on chasing that strange envy away to register how little he had participated -and how that had baffled the Lan boys.

Jin Ling keeps his eyes on Lan WangJi and tries to ignore everything else, but he cannot run from his own thoughts and feelings much longer.

—

“Release me!”

“Not gonna happen”

“JingYi, maybe you should consider-”

“I won’t consider a damn thing! I’ve had enough!”

“What the hell are you talking about?! Release me this instant-”

“There” JingYi says, with a note of finality in his voice, and Jin Ling stumbles backward, back hitting a rock wall. He is breathing hard, not from actual exertion but rage and dread, sweaty hands clamping behind him.

“Are you insane-” he starts, but the other stops him almost immediately.

“Shut up, whiny mistress! You either are like this or ignore us, I’m going insane!”

“JingYi, we won’t resolve a thing like this!” SiZhi tries to interfere, planting himself between the two. Jin Ling can’t see his face, but JingYi puffs his cheeks and lowers his eyelids, diverting his gaze. Turns it back on them a moment later, arms tensing on his sides.

“We have handled this as you wanted and it didn’t work, now we are gonna do it my way” he retorts, eyes burning in determination.

SiZhui sighs, bites his lip, shakes his head and looks down.

“Alright” he complies. His eyes focus on Jin Ling and the boy feels like he should take a step back -he can’t, the rock wall threateningly solid against his back.

He swallows, unable to old their gaze.

Jin Ling, “What’s wrong with you two? Why did you bring me here?!”

“Young Master-”

(Jin Ling starts clenching his fists at the formality in his tone)

Lan JingYi, “You’ve been avoiding us, don’t deny it!”

The Lanling boy lifts his chin, irises jumping between the two Lan disciples.

Jin Ling, “What are you talking about?! Did you eat too much bland congee and it finally went to your head?!” he says, the frenetic rhythm of his heartbeat making him all the more flustered. Why are they looking at me like that?

Lan SiZhui elbows JingYi on his side, receiving a dirty look. The boy ignores him, taking a deep breath.

“Jin Ling” he calls, clear and light and warm, before moving a bit and taking his hand.

Jin Ling’s eyes widen, his heart trembling in his chest and the rest of him going dead still. His lips part, but nothing comes out, and he grips his robe with his free fingers.

“I’m sorry if we scared you. We just… we wanted to know if we did something wrong, because it really feels like you’ve been avoiding us” he murmurs, trying to keep his tone reassuring and diplomatic -not suspecting how that gentleness and his closeness is killing every ability of functioning like a normal human being Jin Ling owns.

He opens his mouth again, wanting nothing more than to deny it again and run away, but JingYi’s eyes are pleadingly and anxiously staring at him, and Sizhui’s fingers are still holding his.

He quivers.

Jin Ling, “Why do you care?”

Not another word.

Lan JingYi, “What does that mean? We are your friends-”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be your friend! I wouldn’t want to intrude between you two or anything!”

Don’t say it, it’ll make you look weird, you’ll be the strange one all over again and they won’t want to have you with them.

Lan SiZhui frowns, pulling him toward him by the hand, but Jin Ling notices the understanding flashing quickly in JingYi’s irises.

You’ll be cast aside again.

Lan SiZhui, “Why would you? We invited you here!”

Jin Ling, “So that I could work as a disguise, cover for you? Do you think I am an idiot?!”

Why can’t you be less strange?

Lan JingYi, “It makes no sense! You made your head think too much, we actually-”

Jin Ling flashes a ireful look at him.

“I don’t care! If you wanna kiss or whatever, do it when I’m not here!”

He clumps his mouth shut. Dread slowly fills his veins, closing his throat with a knot, and he suddenly feels dizzy from talking too much. And he did -he said too much.

He frees his hand from SiZhui’s grasp and moves, feeling ashamed, so ashamed, what he had told himself was envy melting away and revealing itself for what it actually is -longing, fierce and overwhelming, enough to justify the wetness in his eyes.

Jin Ling freezes and JingYi snaps, seizing his arm.

“Are you-”

“Jealous?” the Lanling boy interrupts, abruptly prying his arm away once more and turning to face them. “Of you two spending so much time together alone, thinking I’m not aware of your- your- whatever it is?! Yes, I am! It angers me so much and I don’t know why! I shouldn’t even care, it’s your business! Yet here I am, yelling at you because you keep being all polite to me and treating me like an outsider but- but-”

Jin Ling can’t bring himself to say the rest, a reason swiftly climbs back into his head -making him realise that he did, indeed, said all those things.

They are going to hate him, of course. How could anyone-

JingYi, “You are the most idiotic mistress I’ve ever met”

Jin Ling tries to counteract that -he is ready, the next insult hesitating on the tip of his tongue-

but JingYi cages his cheeks with his palms and brings him closer, not giving him time to think or even oppose him.

Kisses him with vicious intensity and burning determination, lips pulsing on Jin Ling’s, whose hands fly on his shoulder to fight back a fainting spell.

JingYi’s mouth is rough but slow, caring but raging, and he almost -almost lets himself go, shock dominating every fiber of his being-

-he pushes him away, and JingYi lets him be. Jin Ling’s eyes stops on Lan SiZhui, terrified of his reaction, but the older boy -cheeks aflame, lips parted, breathe eluding a natural rhythm- doesn’t show him what he feared. His irises are sparkling, wild with something that scares Jin Ling more than anger itself.

“Y-you- he-”

Jin Ling is confused, but JingYi’s arm wrapping around his waist, his signature grin on his face, and SiZhui moving toward them with shy but relieved steps, gives him the reassurance he didn’t know he needed.

“We both want you” JingYi whispers in his ears, and Jin Ling shivers and blushes desperately, outraged and on fire.

“So, if you want us both…” SiZhui tentatively tries, going for Jin Ling’s hand again.

He doesn’t let go -squeezes it with all the strength he could muster in that moment, which isn’t much, and gathers all the courage he owns to reach out for SiZhui nape and bring him closer, clumsily kissing him before he can think that’s a bad idea.

JingYi tightens his hold and SiZhui hugs him with his unoccupied arm, tilting his head up with his lips and nuzzling Jin Ling’s tenderly, then drawing back.

They all smile and Jin Ling can’t bear it anymore -he looks down, away, face burning and lungs constricting in a kind of pain he already loves, and they are still here, still keeping him close, no more walls made of formality or misunderstandings to divide them and no one to intrude or witness, for this moment is theirs and theirs only.

[scammydoesstuff]

Not to give a long-winded in a response, but I have a lot of thoughts about this. So apologies in advance, but I agree with you and below is why!

Folks who like to demonize Heisenberg also love to forget that his rebellion didn't begin the moment Ethan showed up and act surprised that he has so many bodies at his disposal. It's canon that Miranda overtook the village around 100 years before the events of the game. It's canon - Heisenberg says so himself - that he's been trapped in the village for decades. He's been at this for a while. It's hard to say how long exactly because Capcom didn't want to give us more concrete details for the more interesting characters, but his body collecting didn't begin and end with Ethan's arrival. It's been going on for years - decades. He's had time to amass his army.

A village's population can range from 500 to 2500 people. It's likely on the lower end in regards to the village in RE8, but, again, we're not talking about bodies gathered over the course of a single day. Who knows how this village's population fluctuated over the years? And, outside of that, who knows how far Heisenberg went to gather these corpses? Random folks could have stumbled across the village - Ethan did, after all, so it can't be that well-hidden or that far out of the way. Seems like, if they met a terrible fate with, say, a rogue lycan, they'd be added to the army. And who's to say he didn't find a few other cemeteries outside of the village that are close enough that his absence wouldn't have been noticed to snatch some more bodies from?

That all being said, the infinite number of bodies in the background of the factory always struck me more as an aesthetic choice than anything. It looks creepy and unsettling and that is more likely the intended goal with that design choice. It's more of a visual shorthand for the player (and Ethan) to see the extent of these morbid experiments and to provide a chilling atmosphere. Because, frankly, the way that background animation works makes no sense. That shit can go on infinitely and there's not enough people in the world to fill the factory at a certain point nor could that factory reasonably have the room for that many people at a certain point. Thus, I truly believe that the corpses we see in the background on the conveyor belts are purely aesthetic, not a practical representation.

So, taking that into consideration and the number of Soldaten you actually encounter in the factory, it doesn't really feel that outlandish. There's definitely implied to be more, but not the unreasonable number suggested by the background.

Also, regarding the death maze at the beginning of the game; it's ludicrously easy for Ethan to escape that maze when you really think about it. When watching let'splays, I've only ever seen 2 YouTubers/streamers die to the maze and it's because they flat out weren't paying attention or were fucking around, and if you're actually in that situation, I don't think you're doing either of those things. Everything mechanical moves very slowly compared to the living obstacles like the lycans and Urias, giving ample time to escape the traps themselves. It's heavily implied that it was mostly for show; that Heisenberg wanted Ethan to escape but had to make it look like he was actually trying to kill him. Granted, Ethan surviving anything in this game comes across more as his very strong plot armor and dumb luck most of the time, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say it's because he's capable enough to catch on to how easy it is to escape.

Regardless, Heisenberg was pretty clearly in control of the situation. Why else would he just...end it after the spinning log of death? If he does indeed have cameras (to "keep Donna and Moreau entertained"), wouldn't he have been able to see that Ethan survived? And if he was actually trying to kill Ethan, wouldn't Heisenberg have kept going? Since he didn't, doesn't it make more sense that, if they were watching, Heisenberg cut the feed as the death log was bearing down on Ethan to make them think he'd been dealt with?

And with all that in mind, if others were put through that before Ethan, doesn't it make sense that this might have been Heisenberg's way of saving a life that would have otherwise been taken by Miranda or the others? That he kept someone from suffering the way he had? Or, if not to protect innocent lives and to instead act in more of a self-interested way, then just to stick it to the crow bitch by denying her and Lady D another victim? A sort of mini rebellion while he worked on his main scheme while also presenting to them a loyal servant who would do something so callous as to torture innocent humans, when, in reality, he's helping them slip away? Maybe without ever informing the victim in question to keep up appearances?

I dunno...I fully admit the latter is certainly more wishful thinking and not likely to be true given the cruel nature of these games and Heisenberg not being nearly that charitable, but it makes more sense to me than 'bad guy is bad, so he must do bad things.' Particularly when they show frankly, zero examples of him actually doing the bad things.

Hell, Heisenberg never even actually tries to kill Ethan himself till their fight. Did anybody else notice that? Lady D put way more effort into trying to kill Ethan.

Going through the encounters Ethan has with Heisenberg: Heis stabs him before the family meeting scene, but implies through his dialogue that he knew Ethan would survive it. He fights to be given control over Ethan's fate and sends him to the maze where he can easily escape. He sends him to the Lycan den later on, but, again, implies he expects Ethan to survive and doesn't act surprised when he does. After having his team-up proposal denied, he could have easily killed Ethan himself there and then. We saw him toss the knife around with his brain and that knife could have easily gone right into Ethan's the second Ethan spat that "Fuck you!" but it didn't. Heisenberg instead left Ethan to Sturm, who he subsequently escaped from. And again, Heisenberg seemed to have expected that since he then goes on to bemoan Ethan refusing him over the intercom later just to antagonize him in the weakest way possible. He could have killed Ethan after he mutated, but instead just told him "don't come back" and knocked him into the water far below. He knows Ethan keeps coming back like the goddamn cockroach he is, but he never tries to kill Ethan himself.

Unlike Jack Baker, for instance, who hunted Ethan like a dog and never let up until Ethan would manage to escape him or Ethan would temporarily take him down, Heisenberg never tried to kill Ethan himself - always leaving it to something else, thereby letting Ethan get away somehow to claw his way back later - until Ethan gave him no choice and they had their fight.

So...yeah. I'm sorry to everyone who wants to paint Heisenberg as this black and white villain who is entirely irredeemable, but the game itself doesn't really support that. Capcom may have labeled him a bad guy, but they did a shit job of actually making him a bad guy. As much as I dislike her as a character, I cannot deny that Lady D was a much better villain and was written better as a villain. I never found her scary and I hate her personality, but she actually did villainous shit: torturing innocent women, mistreating her maids, and draining their blood for her own selfish desires and needs, and feeling nary an ounce of regret for her actions. She was a bad person, but a great villain that served her purpose as a villain well.

Same goes for Moreau. He initially comes across as this pitiful sad boy who is sad who you just wanna put out of his misery, but then he keeps going on and on about pleasing Miranda, his entire area is unpleasant to run around in, and then you get the journal entries about how he'd gladly experiment and mutilate the villagers all for his precious mommy and you're like, 'okay yeah, he's a monster too, holy shit. Fucking die already'. I do tend to like Moreau more than Lady D (he has my favorite line in the game, in fact), but he's still a bad person while being a great villain.

But Heisenberg? The worst Heisenberg does that we get to see or even read about is experiment on the dead and use them as his army and, frankly, I just don't consider that to be nearly as evil because they are already dead and therefore cannot experience what he's doing to them. He toys with the idea of using live bodies, which would obviously be so much worse and actually villainous, but we're provided no evidence he did so. And yeah, he talks about using Rose to kill Miranda, but we're never given an explanation of what the fuck he meant by that and seeing as how Ethan does use his daughter to kill Miranda at the end, which leaves Rose unscathed, I don't consider that evil. And yes, unknowingly or not, Ethan takes advantage of Miranda's power 'leaving her' which helps him kill her and which Rose caused. He absolutely uses his daughter to kill Miranda. It's just not in the way he or anyone might think Heisenberg meant,

And Heisenberg's taunting claims to use Rose to become more powerful comes across more like a child throwing a temper tantrum than a serious threat. He gave no indication before that moment of ever bringing Rose harm until Ethan rejected him. Not even in his journal entries. In those entries, he's still only concerned with killing Miranda and sees Rose as a way to do that. So him bringing that up during their fight is kinda out of nowhere and strikes me, at least, as him retaliating and trying to get under Ethan's skin. It's petty and definitely provides Ethan more reason to push forward and kill him because it's a low fucking blow, but it's not 'evil'.

And don't get me wrong. I know how all this reads: a Heisenberg simp defending Daddy. But that's not entirely it. Yeah, I'm definitely biased - I won't deny that - but I'm not saying Heisenberg is entirely innocent - we don't necessarily have evidence for that. Could Miranda have made him kill people? Definitely possible. Could he have killed in the past because of something as simple as someone pissing him off? Maybe? Could he have created the maze as a way to create more corpses without getting his hands dirty? Not impossible. The fact is we don't know if any of that is a thing because Capcom gave us no evidence for it, but we can't totally rule it out either.

I'm just saying he's not this horrific monster that some people want to say he is. What we're presented with in-game just doesn't support it. We're just not given proper evidence that he's done evil shit the way we're given similar evidence for Lady D and Moreau. Frankly, I wish they had made Heisenberg more of a villain. It would've made killing him more satisfying and well-written villains are great. I would've loved to have seen him be portrayed as such, but they just didn't. Like a lot of things Capcom did with this game and everything around it, it's just kinda disappointing.

And with that, this reblog is long enough. Too long, in fact. Sorry again for rambling. I can't help it. I don't post my opinions often, but when I do, I can't shut the fuck up.

Okay but real talk! I do not think it is apologism or villian fuckery or problematic stanning or whatever to point out that we never actually see Heisenberg kill anyone!!!! he just collects and defiles dead bodies (which is not great oc) and sure, his notes say he was considering using live bodies, but then he doesn't!!!! the audio recording and subsequent notes demonstrate that he found a workaround! yes, obviously it is implied w/ the whole death gauntlet under the cave church that he probs has killed people in said gauntlet....but like. i did not see it happen. neil was right, he only ever conspired to murder

[dxmedstudent]

I'm starting clinics v soon and I've just had a look in my logbook and seen that this rotation we've got to do rectal examinations and catheterise male patients, probably several times. I didn't know we'd be doing such things so soon! It's got me worried - as well as the awkwardness, the latter especially is such a delicate procedure. I'm doubting my capabilities, both practically and in terms of making pts feel as comfortable as possible in what must be an awkward procedure for them (1/2)

And I feel as if my discomfort will make these even harder. If you’ve any advice I’d really appreciate it! xxx (2/2)            Hello! Rectal exams and catheterisation are the kind of thing that you dread when you first start, because it sounds incredibly awkward.Every student dreads them, and to be honest, it’s not something we exactly enjoy doing as doctors. Not because I personally feel awkward about being exposed to more privates, by this point when patients get naked I barely raise an eyebrow. But because I know that the patient doesn’t look forward to intimate examinations, and I don’t look forward to any procedure that draws discomfort. That said, when it has to be done, it has to be done; we owe our patients the best care.  Society sexualises the body, so laypeople tend ot fear that there is something inherently sexual about procedures like this, if jokes about them are anything to go by.   Sexualness is entirely in the context of what we are doing with a body. In a ward, with a chaperone, you’re focused purely on the task at hand, and it becomes something no different from listening to someone’s chest, or dressing a leg ulcer. Intimate examinations are not sexy. Medicine is an interesting field. On one hand, you should never pretend you know more than you know; you should be open to seeking help when you don’t know how to do something. And when you mess up, you have to ‘fess up (that’s what I call the ‘duty of candour’ rule). So if you don’t know what you are doing, you shouldn’t be doing it. But you also have to exude an air of calm, competence, and reassurance. Which means that you have to act like the kind of doctor you’d want to see if you were in hospital. We’re all nervous sometimes, and we’ve all had to do something for a first time. The trick is not to look terrified. Because if you are nervous, that will make the patient nervous. You have to be their rock.And if you are calm, and act like you know what you are doing, then the patients aren’t that bothered. By that point, you will have explained why you recommend doing the examination or catheterisation, and what the risks and benefits are (if there are any). Patients feel violated if you do something they don’t understand or without warning. So if you’ve prepared them, they will be OK. A PR exam takes seconds. Catheterisation is usually straightforward. And if they are in urinary retention, they will be the most grateful patient you ever have. I’ve never been thanked so earnestly as I have after relieving people’s bladders. The best thing for you to do would be:1) ask your FY1/SHO if you can watch them do it once or twice. This’ll give you a frame of reference for what a good examination is like, and how best to talk people through it. The old rule used to be ‘see one, do one, teach one’. Clearly sometimes you need to see something more than once. But the point stands that everything is less scary after you’ve seen it. It’s also good for familiarising yourself with the kit your ward has. Some hospitals have ‘catheterisation kits’, others expect you to put a kit together yourself. 2) Youtube vids are great. Make sure you know the procedure for these things inside and out, so when you are with the patient your performance is slick. You want to look confident. Catheterisation is tricky, particularly the ‘clean hand, dirty hand’ technique for when you don’t have an assistant. 3) Make use of your hospital’s skills lab. Most teaching hospitals have a sim room or skills lab that you can boook to practice these things with equipment. Make use of every resource you have. 4) you can always ask your ward sister if there are any catheter kits that are past their sell-by date that you and your friends can use for practice (note: do not catheterise your friends. They will not thank you!). It’s unlikely, but it’s worth a shot. Don’t take any that can actually be used for the ward; save the NHS money! Your skills lab may have spares. 5) Catheterise patients who are ‘out of it’ and need a catheter. I happened to be on A&E when I did my first catheters, and my patients were all unconscious or unwell; they weren’t anxious, I knew the catheter was important and necessary, and it was not remotely awkward. I felt like I was doing something to help; at that point the only thing I could contribute was cannulating, catheterising and running ABGs. Of couse, patients who are awake and alert and chatting away will also need catheters, too. And that’s something you get used to.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: 💕 Janis: feeling the love 'cos corporate making ya, hey? Janis: how many holiday drinks you made today Jimmy: feels like billions Jimmy: not the kinda wrist action to be #buzzing about Janis: here's hoping you working commission lad Janis: is any? 🤔 #hotdatewithjane Jimmy: Tam's been in and out all day earning you those kicks you desire Jimmy: #notsosecretadmirer Jimmy: can't stay away on this special day Janis: Christ, you'd think she wouldn't wanna be seen DEAD outside her house, single, on this most sacred day Janis: gotta be stringing her along with lingering just a little too long when handing over the caffeine, good job babe 👏 Janis: think Grace is lowkey in hiding Janis: too late to even frantically swipe right on tinder now ladies Jimmy: Tell her Bobby'll be round Jimmy: He would if date night wasn't past his bedtime like Janis: 😂 bless Janis: all got our cross to bear, kid Janis: can't get my date out without a leash and promises of treats 🤷 Jimmy: Speaking of bitches, I seen Mia's timed her latest for the stockholm syndrome to kick in right on time Janis: look, i know you're bitter 'cos i've chucked you for better but don't bad mouth the bae, ok? Janis: forreal tho, they have schedules, like clockwork Janis: a new man for every occasion, this one won't last 'til her bday Jimmy: Keeping my hands where Tams can't see or cuff 'em Janis: 😏 tmi Janis: and unhygienic to boot, you serve lattes with those hands Jimmy: filthy 🧠 Jimmy: it's the company you keep Jimmy: Twix's gone from trying to shit in my dad's shoes to humping 'em Janis: whoa now, i didn't teach her that Janis: but think about it, from a scatological foot fetish to just a bit of vanilla pre-teen humping of inanimate objects Janis: it IS a step in the right direction Jimmy: But you are about treating 'em mean to keep 'em keen Janis: Your kicks are safe, dun' worry Janis: if she's taught me anything, not the way into the good books 😇 Jimmy: If you wanna aim for my work shoes I won't complain Jimmy: A day off is a day off Jimmy: Warn me first though, unless you're into those kind of surprises Janis: Best not to be seen with each other today Janis: don't wanna give everyone the wrong idea Janis: but nice try, you'll have to stick to burning yaself and the like if you wanna bunk Jimmy: Tammy's bound to help me with that Jimmy: #likeagiraffeonice Janis: She's beauty, she's graces Janis: wants you to cum all over her face Jimmy: fingers crossed she'll melt mine off first Jimmy: Better with that Janis: fair Janis: no way you've got the reach Jimmy: 💕 #whenbaebelievesinyou Janis: what, you want me to offer help with target practice? Janis: nice try dickhead 😜 Jimmy: Romance isn't dead there's the proof Jimmy: What are you doing today, aside from belly rubs for the bae Janis: gotta do something, don't I? feel bad like Janis: slayed the gift game and I really phoned it in so obvs gotta give out those sexual favours Janis: nowt though, trying to avoid seeing all the lovey-dovey couples making me wanna vom Janis: letting Tam work her magic in peace 😘 welcome like Jimmy: 💔🐶🎻 Jimmy: Making drinks with my eyes closed 'cause same Jimmy: Crack on Tam #tallgirlsneedlovetoo Janis: any barista will do 🎶 Janis: wanna hang when the madness is over Jimmy: The way this queue is going there isn't gonna be goodies left to bring you Jimmy: But I'm sweet enough😎 Jimmy: So yeah Janis: Bummer Janis: guess I can't kick you outta bed for that alone Janis: let you tot up negatives throughout the day, standard Jimmy: Got a pen behind my ear Jimmy: Come at me Janis: never could resist a challenge Janis: 🙄 walked into that one Janis: can we do something not shit Janis: don't need to see you slurping down spaghetti lady and the tramp stylee Jimmy: 💔 I'll shoo away all the strays I've gathered Jimmy: Only one dog for you like Jimmy: But of course that's how we stay goals Jimmy: any old shit won't do 💪🏆 Janis: 🎻 Janis: okay good Janis: play your cards right and get it right Janis: i'll spring for the motel 😉 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: for once i'll be rooting for you Janis: my parents are unbearable at the best of times Janis: 🤢 Janis: actually cannot deal Jimmy: My dad and his girlfriend are still early days enough that they can bear to be in the same room Jimmy: I won't fail Janis: oh the honeymoon period Janis: disgusting Janis: thank god we got that out of the way with a fake relationship so you know my true feelings 😏 Jimmy: yeah thanks mate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: welcome, buddy o' pal o' mine Jimmy: Done Jimmy: I've worked it out Janis: taking a particularly difficult shit? Janis: again, don't need these intimate updates honey Janis: not #goals Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: No, what's goals is what we're gonna do, babe 😏 Jimmy: Keeping you outta the house 'til there's no cringe factor left Janis: Ahh Janis: colour me intrigued Jimothy Janis: what's the dress code? Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: Nothing Tam would be seen dead in Janis: Alright, no body con that shows all my worst bits, gotcha Janis: do I get ANY clues? Curious 🙀 right here Jimmy: You might just make yourself a new bae Jimmy: But pace yourself mate Janis: 😳 Janis: i don't own any PVC clothing, you know that, yeah? Jimmy: I do now 🎻 Janis: 😂 can literally hear Gracie in my head asking me what i'm like rn Janis: letting ya man down on vday Janis: honestly Jimmy: when one twin's a giver and the other's a taker 😂 Janis: tbf, we BOTH told you you'd got the wrong one but Janis: cloth ears you Jimmy: Down for the challenge Jimmy: Too late to not be a stubborn dickhead, me Janis: looks like we're both stuck then, lad Jimmy: there's that #realtalk mate Janis: can't say we didn't both give it a fair go Janis: #longdistanceloveinskerries #teenagerunaway Jimmy: You'll always have Twix 💕 Janis: gotta have someone to rely on init Jimmy: #tea Janis: #scaldedagain #jobhazard Jimmy: [Sends a selfie of an actual burn/on the job hazard] Jimmy: Stuff of fantasies that Janis: Poor baby! Has Tam not offered to 💋 it better? Janis: #slacking Jimmy: She's got her 👀 a bit lower down Jimmy: I'm just a piece of 🍖 Jimmy: The real hazard Janis: start a # about it Janis: 'cos can't blame her Janis: part of the problem, truly Jimmy: Will do Janis: being all distracting there with your apron and that Janis: asking for it Jimmy: I thought it was the shoes Jimmy: Sexy from head to toe like Jimmy: 🐶💗 Janis: 😋 something certainly got tongues n tails wagging Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: The company I keep, I think 😉 Janis: valid, the bitches love me 😍 Jimmy: Alright, save it for the 'gram Jimmy: #humblebrag Janis: Twix is a busy lady, only got you scheduled in so far Janis: guess the fans will have to make do with your mug 😜 Jimmy: unlucky lads and lasses Janis: they love it Janis: 'til some other cunt is unlucky enough to be enrolled in our school, you're gonna stay flavour of the month 🍦 Jimmy: 💪🥇 Janis: meanwhile, i gotta wait 'til the next fam scandal 'til I'm relevant again Janis: such is life Janis: not that its ever THAT long 🙄 Jimmy: Whip up some fake drama for you to hide in if you want Jimmy: Crack 'em out with the lattes Janis: I don't doubt you're capable Janis: just getting over sinkgate 😏 Mr. Lucas never will 😉 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: He's one of the only dickheads who hasn't been in today Jimmy: Still time 🤞 Janis: think a milky earl grey is his shout Janis: get it ready, really impress him Janis: more than you did, obvs Jimmy: The coffee breath and forehead vein says espresso though 🤔 Jimmy: Man o mystery Janis: 🤤 Janis: so hot Jimmy: More competition is it? Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Using you as a ploy to get him hot under that starched collar all along Janis: soz babes 😘 Jimmy: I should've known your real goal was to get under that lumpy jumper Janis: 😂 Janis: know he's got the goods under it Jimmy: Can't fight the feeling Janis: s'a real shame the hottest female teacher we've got is that TA with the wonky fringe and clompy shoes Janis: who you got your sights set on next? Jimmy: always been about a wonky fringe meself Jimmy: Clompy shoes are a massive bonus when Twix is being a mad bitch underfoot too like Janis: draw the line there pal Janis: gotta get the dog in the divorce like Janis: not letting that hipster bitch anywhere near Jimmy: 🥊 Jimmy: going down swinging Janis: if she doesn't scream cat lady as is, she's defs into weird pets like fucking Janis: stick insects Janis: hope you're soooo happy together like 🖕 not even mad Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: nice to have your blessing, mate Jimmy: be my best man on the day Janis: literally fuck off Janis: only just got rid of the lesbian rumours and you wanna put me in a suit WHILST friendzoning me Janis: nah 😤 Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: found a challenge she won't accept Janis: only way i'm showing up is if you invite all your exes and put us on a table so we can chat mad shit on you Janis: be a man about it, boy Jimmy: card table at the back, couple of chairs so you can place your bets 👍 Janis: more like it Janis: hook up with your actual best man Janis: pure spite and alcohol fuelling me Jimmy: It'd probs be Cass so best not Jimmy: no good for the rep Janis: 😡 Janis: same tho, if i ever got hitched (ignoring the unlikeliness of that) i'd have to hit up the sibs for those bridesmaids and ting Janis: least my fam is good for numbers if not company like Jimmy: Grace has used her twin senses and is moodboarding somewhere rn Jimmy: Unlucky Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: vietnam flashbacks rn Janis: you know how many fake weddings of hers i've attended Jimmy: I can imagine Jimmy: And am Jimmy: Cute 😂 Janis: Fuck off Janis: shame your dad don't wanna be bffs Janis: can't hit him up for embarrassing pics and stories to use against you Jimmy: Another win to my name Janis: 🖕 Janis: sincerely hope you get a beverage thrown in ur face Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Wish you'da got me some earplugs Jimmy: Come on over mate, I've got loads Jimmy: #whenyourdadisdating Janis: literally Janis: at least you know its the same woman to avoid when she runs to the bog to clean herself up Janis: Pablo already on 2nd of the day Janis: Need a way to let 'em know Jimmy: Gotta have a sleepover with your real bae Jimmy: Twix'll sort 'em Jimmy: Sticking her nose in, literally like Janis: Oh that sweet curious girl Janis: some things she never need see 🙈 Jimmy: #nosybitchproblems Janis: getting dirt on enemy #1 anyway she can Janis: those bribe bones coming her way Jimmy: Happy v-day to her Janis: Maybe you and wonky fringe can have a fuck-off Janis: bet she's a right goer when you get the hair down and glasses off like Jimmy: Invite you and Mr Lucas for the post shag debrief Jimmy: Give you a /10 Janis: Naturally Janis: so curious to know how I rank 😒 Jimmy: Always a 10 with Twix Janis: 🙌 Janis: that'll help with the rep Jimmy: Me and Killer'll take the heat off with our new relationship shine Janis: yeah it loves you Janis: daft fucking dog Jimmy: Pity I can't turn the 💕 into 💰 Jimmy: Loads of lattes no will to keep slinging 'em Janis: Looking for a career change? Janis: fame getting too real? Jimmy: Got me looking like a deer in the headlights Jimmy: Tammy's livid Jimmy: There can only be one Janis: 'bout to be a bloodbath in CG Jimmy: Place your bets, mate Janis: hmm Janis: Tams got the reach like but reckon she's mostly talk n neck Janis: nan's not been in has she? 😉 Jimmy: She's serving me that 💔 while I crane my own neck looking out for her all day long Jimmy: no sign yet Janis: Gutted Janis: even she's feeling the lurve today Janis: literally no place to go Janis: so tragic Jimmy: About to eat my feelings like a proper flat white squad member Jimmy: Speaking of feeling that l.u.r.v.e did you hear how many cards Cass got sent? Jimmy: 7 Janis: WHAT Janis: get it gurl but also fuck off lads she's too lil Jimmy: walking about like its nowt Jimmy: 😎 Janis: thank god Janis: no one needs that ego boost Janis: fuming tbh Jimmy: Bobs made one at school Jimmy: guess who for Janis: Aww, bless him Janis: she does need that boost Janis: he gonna hand-deliver? Jimmy: He's insisting Jimmy: So be about Jimmy: You got one too Jimmy: moving in on my lass Janis: we in, have to kick the empty ice cream cartons out the way like but find us in front of bridget jones or similar Janis: i'm honoured like 😊 Jimmy: Yours is bigger but hers has more glitter Jimmy: Can't call a winner Janis: size matters Janis: #facts Janis: soz Gracie, gotta fight you or you'll get too comfy Jimmy: Just don't let her vlog it Jimmy: Don't need porno style #s going viral Janis: MY TWIN ATTACKED ME!?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT) Jimmy: Haters, on this sacred day Jimmy: #savage Janis: Glad to keep her in #content Janis: who's the real ⭐ baby Jimmy: 🤩 Jimmy: Better than 💝 chocs Janis: the calories! 😱 Jimmy: who needs food when you can exist on ☕ and even hotter goss 💋 Janis: diet of champions that 🙄 Janis: mia be bullshitting them that she doesn't run on sheer cuntiness Jimmy: Mia? A bullshitter? 😲 Jimmy: Nope Janis: awks 😕 Janis: did you think you was forever? Jimmy: she was my fucking cinnamon apple Janis: 😂 Janis: at least i've got an excuse to fight her again Janis: try not to get in the way this time Jimmy: Will do Jimmy: 2nd rule of fight club, get out the way dickhead Janis: brad pitt in that film Janis: mwah ���👌 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I got no retort because Helena, not the one like Janis: crazy bitch not your type, eh? Janis: think the masses would have to disagree 😏 Jimmy: Start a # or I'm not listening, sorry everyone Janis: he's a modern man Jimmy: 💪😎 Janis: wonder if anyone will get pregnant tonight Janis: wanna make a bet? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll put today's wage on it Jimmy: No tips Jimmy: Need them for our big 💕 plans Janis: alright, you're on Janis: here's hoping its only the tip for all the other lads like Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Walked into that one Janis: 💁 Janis: shame we're not a hardcore catholic school #upthebuttforjesus Jimmy: I'd have to pray meself if I'd made a bet under them conditions Janis: what can i say? just like me, showing faith in our peers Janis: ur so negative, babe Janis: like dem tests 🤞 Jimmy: don't need to be an optimist to wait for those positives Janis: we'll see Jimmy: what to I get when I win this one Jimmy: quite a streak now babe 😏 Janis: 😣 Janis: on the off chance you manage to scrape a win Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: Escape route for longer than a night for starters Jimmy: Lovebirds doing my head in Jimmy: I'm thinking a weekend break that isn't #cursed like Janis: Always down for running Janis: up for it not being away from you this time 😉 Janis: bringing the kiddos or? Jimmy: Depends if they kick off Jimmy: Got time to work on bribes Jimmy: Dad's Valerie might wanna play happy families 😒 Janis: 😬 Janis: that'll be fun Janis: can't have you dealing with that Janis: at least their tales of woe whilst you were gone will be packed with that #scandal and #drama Jimmy: might be easier to take 'em amount of SOS's we'd get Jimmy: Cass blowing up both our phones before we're out the door Jimmy: fuck knows Janis: Eithers cool Janis: just leave the hardcore whips n chains at home like Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Alright done Jimmy: If we stick 'em on their own does that make us the mccanns Janis: not if we don't drug 'em Janis: stick to sweets and other such bribes and we'll be alright Jimmy: Gonna be enough of a plan getting there without adding a murder cover up Janis: honestly Janis: not on the agenda Janis: not a nice pretty white doctor like, never getting away with it Jimmy: not the 💕 american films'd have you believe either I reckon Jimmy: Surrounded by a cloud of smoke already cheers don't need a hail of bullets Janis: yeah if #blacklivesmatter taught us anything Janis: not the ideal way to spend a weekend Janis: also, still creasing at her name Janis: such middle aged hot piece of ass vibes Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: definitely can't promise you any of that Jimmy: but if you win, I'll 🚭 and hopefully run like less of a middle aged dickhead with a dad bod Jimmy: less of an evidence trail an' all Jimmy: win win Janis: whoa, that's awful big talk from the resident chimney Janis: you are sure you're gonna win 😉 Janis: but i accept the full Ts and Cs Janis: you should train with me Janis: not just an excuse to 👀 the dad bod Jimmy: Deal done then Jimmy: Trying to see me in my short shorts Jimmy: You'll have to catch me first like Janis: wouldn't even be fair to make it a competition like Jimmy: If you're too shit scared, mate Janis: just curious why you wanna lose so bad Janis: thinking you might love what punishment i have in mind? Jimmy: Wondering what it feels like 'cause it never happens Jimmy: You seem to be about it with all your repeats Janis: I'm going to enjoy making you suffer Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Gonna start a club with Mr Lucas? Janis: any time i get to spend with him like Janis: not like I wanna think up new cruel and unusual ways to get you but Janis: needs must Jimmy: 💕 cute Jimmy: I'd tell him to get his 🎻 out but we know what those hands are busy doing Janis: eurgh 😂 too far Janis: my 'rents reckon he's an actual predator, like, there are stories Janis: do not wanna commit so hard to this bit that I become his next victim forreal Jimmy: Not gonna happen babe 💪😎🐶 Jimmy: Squad got you covered Janis: My heroes 😍 Jimmy: If Twix isn't up to it my bae'll come through Jimmy: Named for it literally Janis: Reckon that was the idea Janis: or they were being ironic with it Janis: #sojokes Jimmy: either way I'll knock him out before its a drama Jimmy: as long as you don't get in my way naturally Janis: don't worry, got the sense I was born with 😜 Janis: dickhead Jimmy: Lucky you were born with it Jimmy: Some of us have neither Janis: 🎻 Janis: so what part of pretty woman you looking to recreate this time Janis: what's your artistic vision? 😏 Jimmy: I haven't seen it Jimmy: Bound to be an aesthetic montage though, isn't there? Janis: don't let my sister hear you Janis: roped into GIRLS NIGHT! before you know it Jimmy: Get the popcorn in Gracie, mine's salted Jimmy: Shout you a diet something if you keep the noise down, hun Janis: #romanticvdaynightplans Janis: i get why she got confused, you have #boundaryissues mate 😂 Jimmy: Living up to that dating a twin stereotype Jimmy: The people in my comment section DEMAND it, alright? Jimmy: #gottagiveemwhattheywant Janis: Nah, bitch, you can only play that if we're identical Janis: its not like whoops thought it was u Janis: on ANY level 😤 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Oh shit the boss is the embodiment of that emoji Jimmy: Yours not mine Jimmy: Gonna have to get a room Jimmy: Ban him, that's not how I'm earning employee of the month perks, sorry lad Janis: Convenient 😒 Janis: lemme catch u in her inbox boi 🥊 Janis: jk, get to work slacker, catch you in a mo Jimmy: 🐊 Jimmy: In a bit 💕 Janis: 🖤