#but i've aaaalmost got it working

[angiestown]

okay I've been fussing with my asexuality for years and nothing ever felt right. I'd sift through microlabels and everything fit like a shoe on the wrong foot, like aaaalmost there but still just wrong.

I'd kind of settled on demisexual as the closest thing, but that still felt wrong because demi is like you're only attracted to people once you get close to them, and after dating my current bf I kind of realized oh I uuh really never was that into anyone else I dated. I liked dating them, but now that I know what being attracted to someone actually feels like I'm realizing oh I just liked my previous partners as friends. I never developed that attraction even after becoming close. current bf is a weird fluke I think. he is an outlier.

next best thing was grey-ace and that felt even more wrong, because regular ace felt completely wrong and grey-ace is kind of like halfway between ace and allo

I'd kind of just given up on microlabels all together and just went with a blanket queer because every other variation of asexuality I could find seemed to hinge on either being sex repulsed or some weird asterisk like "sometimes I want sex and sometimes I don't" or "I only like to imagine having sex but don't want it for real" like NO I'm a horny ass bitch I. Want. To. Fuck. I've got a nsfw blog !!! that only gets posted to like twice a year but I have one !!!! it kind of felt like asking an allosexual to go find hot singles in a retirement home. like that's not on me, there's just nobody in the retirement home that I'm into. except the retirement home is the whole world and I don't like gilfs.

anyway all this to say I just discovered the term cupiosexual and it's basically that, wanting and enjoying sex, you just aren't into anybody. first time I've ever in my entire life found a term and instantly been like THAT'S IT THAT'S WHAT I AM

and after finding that, it made it so easy to just be like okay yeah I'm greyromantic too. like I'd like a romantic relationship, but I could take it or leave it. also explains why polyamory has worked out so well for me because I want friends and I want fuck and who better to fuck than friends, and being poly doesn't tether you down to one person so I can have as many friends who are down to clown as I want

[ithappensoffstage]

Tagged by the amazing @lolahardy - TYSM as always!

How many works do you have on ao3?

68! I orphaned roughly 20 of them last year, though.

What's your total ao3 word count?

434,449

What fandoms do you write for?

A lot, honestly ... I think my most beloved/popular works are for Stranger Things, TENET, and The Sandman, though.

Top five fics by kudos:

Damned If I Do You

how real hunger has a real taste

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy (co-authored)

Loved Me Back to Life (co-authored)

You'll Hear Me Howling (co-authored)

Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! I used to get shy/overwhelmed and didn't reply as much, but now I make sure to answer every single one.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I Loved You First

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Damned If I Do You

Do you get hate on fics?

Not often, but I've had some. I just delete and move on.

Do you write smut?

Absolutely.

Craziest crossover:

I don't write crossovers, although I made a Good Omens joke/reference in a Sandman fic that aaaalmost counts in my opinion.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Twitter people got ahold of one of my VegasPete fics and spread it around alongside stolen gifs. I wasn't happy.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

So many! I'm so in awe of translators.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have co-authored many fics with my sister AKA the other person who runs this blog.

All time favourite ship?

Neil and The Protagonist from TENET

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I really want to get back to a DreamGadling of mine, but I keep opening the doc and never writing anything.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, figurative language, balancing multiple characters in a scene

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue!! My nemesis

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I've used it sparingly. For the most part, if I am writing characters who speak another language, I leave a note that the reader should just assume they're speaking their native language in the fic despite my prose being in English.

First fandom you wrote in?

[redacted] - part of my big orphan spree

Favorite fic you've written?

I Loved You First

[blueempty]

Theres a weird little light line in the second pic that was only in the sky for like 2 seconds earlier but it was super cool

I did a big floor and carpet cleaning today like a big responsible guy. Afterwards I got on Barony which i've kinda slowed down on recently, but they rolled out a private beta for the January update so i started a new Conjurer run. Theyre adding a bunch of new hats and face accessories which sounds kinda trivial but if youre familiar with the games balance this is something it needed. I guess less than balance its just been needing more Stuff in it. Right now if you play a magic class its pretty much always gonna end up looking the same by the end, and the same pretty much goes for any other type of class. There's ways to guarantee good equipment for most classes in the game. But the hats and accessories do weird stuff like increase trap resistance, or make you friendly with incubi and succubi. Its really cool so far. They also snuck in new tree models in the swamp so I'm excited to see if theres other surprise changes further in. The other thing theyre adding that isnt in the beta is daily seeded dungeons that are the same for everyone so you basically do like a score challenge for the leaderboards. I'm excited to get back into that game soon. Although idk how the fuck I'm gonna balance that and two monster hunter games and drawing and hiragana

I did start drawing more again today. Its weird because I am feeling motivated to do it but at the same time I'm kinda doing it because I really really need to commodify my hobbies because money is super fucked right now and I can feel the depresso wave coming up again. I'm harnessing the power of the Dragon and I'm gonna do a Dragon Dance and I'm gonna immediately regret offering commissions on this website. I dont even know what I'd offer. I think tomorrow me will worry about that

I'm aaaalmost done with Fairune 2, I know I say that every day but I'm literally in the last area. I got neurodivergent about the maps because they get a little crown next to them if you fill them out all the way and theres an achievment so I'm on the path to 100%ing this run. Then I'll probably have to do it again but faster which is scary cuz that game is fuckin huge for what it is. And its confusing fairly often. But related to that, I'll share one of the things I started working on today since I got no night pics

Dramos run

Peace and Long Life

[legendreign-archived]

tsukuharuko:

“Itomori,” Haruko answered with a smile. “It’s really pretty, you know? The woods around are so beautiful,” she recalled, nostalgic, “but not much to do around there, I gotta say. It’s a small town.”

Upon hearing her hopes for a big prize getting crushed, she wheeled her head at Kagami with a disappointed look.

“Ah? But I saw one, once,” she said. “It was in a seaside town, during my family vacation! Although maybe it was only the box...” She realised with a pout.

It was soon time to find it out. Once they reached the arcade, Haruko hurried in, finding a crane game waiting for them right at the entrance. No PS5 in it though, she found out with a sigh; only stuffed animals. A small tiger plushie stood out, catching her attention.

“Heh, that one looks like you,” she grinned, pointing at Kagami’s unusual eyebrows. “It’s a cute one! Let me try to win it!”

She ruffled in her pocket and found a coin, so she quickly instered in the machine and grabbed the joystick with a determined frown. Tongu stuck between her lips, she maneuvered the hook with careful movements.

“Almost theeere... Aaaalmost... YES!”

She exhulted with a squeal as the hook captured the small tiger and dropped it in the box on the side. Haruko reached through the flap and took it.

“Here!” She said, handing it to Kagami with a grin. “Your birthday gift!”

~~~~

"Hmm... I'll have to keep that name in mind but I gotta admit, I've always been a city boy. I always wanted to go camping in the woods but never got the chance to."

The closest he had been to camping was camping in his or Tatsuya's backyard. After he and Tatsuya ran away from home, his dad was definitely adamant on not letting him go far away plus his old man usually worked so he couldn't take him anyways...

Taiga raised a brow. "...Maybe? Although I've never been outside of Tokyo except to Kanagawa for a practice match. That's unusual though but who knows, maybe crane games are different in Japan."

When they stepped inside Crown Arcade, Taiga's earlier statement was confirmed because he could see that there were no video games inside, only plushies.

He shrugged his brows when Tsukushima pointed at his eyebrows with an unsure expression on his face before smiling as he asked "You think so?"

The tiger plushie was cute though but he had to admit, the brown fork brows, red eyes, were like his...

"Uh, thanks."

In all honesty, he was really touched that Tsukushima went this far to make sure he had a good birthday. No one had gone that far except Tatsuya and Alex in the past.

Kuroko had found a doggy look alike which his senpai named Tetsuya 2 and that same senpai had a cat look alike which was named Shinji 2.

"Thanks, Tsukushima! I'll name him Taiga 2!"

[marigoldispeculiar]

2022: A Year in Review

Thanks to @whimsyqueen for tagging me. Some of the categories don't really apply to me, so I'm skipping or modifying them.

Top 5 Movies I Saw This Year: I don't actually watch very many movies at all, so I legit can't think of a single one that I've watched this year.

Top 5 Shows I Watched This Year:

Bleach: Thousand Year Blood War

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story

Hunter: The Parenting

Bocchi the Rock

Centaurworld (techically 2021 but it lives on in my heart, okay?)

Top 5 Songs of 2022: (once again all vocal synth)

Microplastic Girl

DE4TH

Wrong + Right

SIN

Candlelight

Top 5 Albums/Artists: (that I loved & appreciated this year; also still all vocal synth producers)

Nine Aetheria

Odotter

FLOAT

Asterisque

Matthias Harlow

Top 5 Books I Read This Year: (well, I'm guessing here; some of these I might have read a while ago; also yes they're all danmei)

Too Bad Master Died Early

Falling Into the Abyss

Copper Coins

This Damned Thirst for Survival

The Obsessive Shou Moves On

Top 5 TV/Book/Movie Characters Couples This Year: (tbh I imprint on couples way more than individual characters; also I'm cursed to forget the names of 80% of danmei protags)

Jonmina

Ichigo Kurosaki's parents

the couple from Falling Into the Abyss

the couple from This Damned Thirst for Survival

August and Galen (my OCs) (In my defense I did spend a lot of time thinking about them this year!)

Top 5 Podcasts Listened To:

Mormon Stories

Falling Out with Elgin Strait

Maintenance Phase

The Secret History of Western Esotericism

Science of Reading: The Podcast

5 Positive Things That Happened in 2022, No Matter How Small: (actually this was a big year for me)

Got my spondyloarthropathy diagnosis

Got on a biologic that's working

Started writing again

Started drawing again

Started and aaaalmost finished Perfect Medicine

I'm no-pressure tagging @writeouswriter, @btranwrites, and @isabellebissonrouthier, as well as leaving an open tag for anyone else who wants to join in!