#but i'm way more into angst

[gareleia]

THE KNITTING SAGA BUT HERMES IS A DUMMY

previously: part 1 part 2 part 3

m'kay, so, we've talked about Athena & Telemachus' issues. now let's touch on Hermes, because a Diva™ like him deserves his own post. and also because this had been sitting in my notes for so long i've genuinely forgot about it (i'd say that it's what translating a musical does to you, but honestly my attention span is just shit)

now, as much as I love Soft Boi!Hermes, I even more so love prankster Hermes who doesn't really recognize personal boundaries or the meaning of 'too far'. he's the guy who'll commit to the bit so far, he'll commit mass murder with a Tee-Hee and genuinely wonder what has got everyone so upset.

kid!Telemachus, holding a cup of poison: grandpa, are you sure it's a good idea? I'm scared… Hermes, laughing his ass of in the corner: of course in sure, champ! it'll be hilarious! good ol' game of Ithacean Roulette! now dump it into the wine, let's see who we'll get this time!

at the same time, he's not selfish. he's very keen on doing things for people he likes, and he cares enough to know when someone is distressed. he, as a god, is just so removed from traditional human morality that casual acts of cruelty are perfectly acceptable to him, while, for example, breaking an oath is a horrible sin.

think blue and orange morality stuff.

telemachus, outraged: …murdered his own family, can you imagine? hermes, equally outraged: I know, right? he gave a blood oath and broke it! disgusting! telemachus: why is that your only concern?!

but don't worry, helping to raise Telemachus and hanging around the same people consistently makes a real boy outta him gives him enough time and insight into humanity to start understand mortals better, and, as consequence, adopt some of their values.

especially the concept of spousal loyalty. Hermes is a patron god of thieves, and at the time taking someone's wife was viewed as an act of theft (because women were property, yeeesh). which is why to him Penelope's situation was less of a tragedy and more of "well, my dumbass great-grandson Odysseus should've seen it coming. snooze you lose! ¯_(ツ)_/¯"

that is, until he gets to know her better. and suddenly she's not a prize to be won or a challenge to conquer. she's a smart, capable person that commands respect from anyone who's got a shred of self-awareness. she's got gentle hands, and a radiant smile, and a spine of steel. Penelope looked Hermes dead in the eyes and told him serenely to keep being a good influence on her son, she does not deserve to be reduced to a token and given away to the highest bidder.

hermes, initially: well, penelope's a rich, gorgeous, basically single queen. I'd steal her too if she was my type. hermes, 10 years later: she's the smartest, ballsiest human woman i've ever met and if she only wants her Ugly Ass Groom then she'll fucking stay single until he comes back.

unfortunately for everyone else, Hermes cannot step in to protect her, because Zeus and Poseidon are both pissed at Odysseus already, and if either of them notices Hermes (and Athena) interfering with mortals on Ithaca, they might take it as an invitation to follow suit, and then it'll be Troy Story 2: Electric Boogaloo.

so he stays his hand, and hangs around Telemachus discreetly, mostly posing as a human. for a god of liars, he's surprisingly bad at blending in for long periods of time. Hermes thinks he's an awesome conspirator. meanwhile little Telemachus didn't even realise it was a secret.

the only people who don't know that [insert alias] is a god in disguise are the suitors, who are notoriously either too stupid, too overconfident or too drunk to connect the dots. the exception is Antinous who pretends to be oblivious and makes sure the gods don't see him as a threat to their beloved little pup (otherwise he'd have killed the prince long ago).

the suitors, however, unanimously agree that they hate this weird annoying stranger, and try to get rid of him in increasingly elaborate ways, from poison to stabbing to wild animals to dropping pots on his head.

spoiler alert: it doesn't work.

hermes, next day: *comes back every morning like nothing had happened, whistling cheerily* suitors: WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!

eventually Antinous convinces them to give up so they don't piss off Hermes.

years pass, Telemachus grows. Athena teaches him strategy and arts of war. Aeolus gradually comes out of the hiding and becomes the resident lovable comic relief side character. and Hermes? he teaches the kid all the good stuff.

and it's not just lying, okay? (though it's a signific significant part if it) music, diplomacy, geography, street smarts, some history. he's a worldly god, had observed and been a part of countless cultures. above all else, he knows people. he may not really understand them, but he knows how to get what he wants from them, how to find common ground and how to spin things to get along with practically anyone.

and girls. Hermes helps Telemachus with girls.

because he's the cool uncle figure that Telemachus admires, the kid trusts him enough to ask the god for advice when he starts growing older and gets his first crush in his early teens.

and, on one hand, Hermes is ecstatic. on the other one…

telemachus, blushing and stuttering: there's a girl I met, she's so pretty, and cool, and, and, and how do I talk to her, do I just come up and say hi, but what if sh- hermes: … hermes: *blue screen of death* hermes: MY BABY-

it's the first time he truly starts to grasp how short the kid's life will be. because in the blink of an eye he turned from a newborn to an adolescent, and soon enough he'll have his own family, and Odysseus had become a king himself at this age, and he's not ready it can't be this he can't just grow old and die

so anyway, he pushes the thought aside and pretends it never came up at all (because that always works, and bottling shit up never blows up in anyone's face, right, Athena?)

he gives lots of advice, from useless macho stuff to golden nuggets like "be yourself" and "show her respect". and, of course, he cheers from the sidelines, hiding 'inconspicuously'.

and it goes surprisingly well. the girl appears to find Telemachus' awkward attempts at flirting sweet and charming, and the boy is on the cloud nine.

but Hermes isn't. because, unlike the prince, his judgment isn't clouded by a puppy crush and he can see that the girl is actually a lying bitch, who's playing Telemachus like a fiddle, hoping to become the next queen of Ithaca. and he won't stand for it.

except Telemachus, for some reason, doesn't seen thrilled when Hermes tells him to dump the girl. he flat out refuses to believe that, because love is blind and so are sheltered insecure teenage boys.

so Hermes, in his infinite wisdom, decides to prove to his naive little charge once and for all that the girl is just using him and doesn't actually love him. now, what's the first example of true selfless love from a woman that comes to mind to the god who had spent the last few years hanging out with the royal family of Ithaca? right, Penelope. and the one thing that characterises Penelope is her unconditional loyalty, even into the face of countless threats and temptations.

hermes, to himself: so, if I show the kid that the bitch will leave him as soon as she finds better prospects, he will definitely admit I was right all along! and dump her! it's a perfect, easy, foolproof plan! I am so smart! what could possibly go wrong!

another spoiler alert: everything goes wrong.

the girl does happily jump into his arms as soon as he hints that he's a god/demi-god/just a cooler prince or something. she does it right in front of Telemachus, in fact, so there's no way he'd be able to deny the obvious.

on the bright side, Hermes immediately outs her as a lying bitch and publicly shames her, embarrassing her family and ruining her prospects of marriage and causing her to suffer for the rest of her life ('disproportionate revenge'? what's that?).

on the down side, for some unfathomable reason, Telemachus doesn't seem very grateful??? what???????

hermes: and so, AS ALWAYS, I was right. telemachus: hermes: but please, hold your applause! telemachus: hermes: I did it all for you, out of the goodness of my heart! telemachus: hermes: and please, don't apologize! you were wrong, I get it! no need to- telemachus: *bitch slaps his smug face and runs away, hurt and betrayed* hermes: *shocked pikachu face*

thing is, Hermes doesn't understand what he did wrong. in his mind he did a rather good deed: showed the liar's true colors, and spared the kid a lot of heartache down the line. he doesn't understand the feelings of betrayal from having someone he trusts explicitly outing him as a naive fool in front of everyone he ever dreamed of earning respect from. doesn't get the pain of having been cast aside by someone he liked in favor of a god, with whom he could never compete. can't imagine living in the shadow of someone he had never even known and being constantly reminded of all the ways he's lacking.

telemachus: I'm not a stupid child, hermes. I could've handled it. hermes: but you didn't listen to me, maybe you'd have never seen it on your own- telemachus: and maybe I would've. maybe I would've had the opportunity to find out myself, and maybe I would've learned from it, but you never gave me that choice, did you?! did you think i'm that dumb?! hermes: oh, come on, kid, you're not dumb- telemachus: THEN WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE I AM?! WHY DON'T YOU EVER TRUST ME?!

aaaaand there's the core issue. Telemachus had spent his whole life being babied at best and looked down upon at worst. constantly compared to Odysseus and his more vicious peers, always shielded from making tough decisions and proving himself. he feels like he will never amount to anything, because no one ever lets him really try. as soon as it looks like he's going to make a mistake, someone (usually Athena, Aeolus or Hermes) swoops in and 'fixes' everything for him, just like they used to do when he was an accident-prone toddler. which he isn't anymore.

and Hermes doesn't understand that. to him, ten years is basically nothing. the kid can't have changed that much in ten years. because if he did, then he'll change a lot in the next ten years, and the next, and very soon he won't change anymore, because ten years are nothing and so are human livespans.

ten years are nothing, because to admit otherwise would force Hermes to face the fact that Telemachus, no matter how precious, is just as mortal as any other human. which amounts to basically losing him already. and Hermes can't.

he held that boy as an infant. he fed him, helped to teach him walk and talk and make silly faces. he can't lose this child to time, the one thing even gods can't really protect humans from.

Penelope finds Hermes sitting on her balcony with the most human expression on his face she'd ever seem him wear. he's lost, and confused, and full of regrets, and kind of terrified. in that aspect, he reminds her painfully of her husband.

hermes, mumble: he's growing older penelope, sighing: I know hermes: he's not a baby anymore penelope: believe me, I know hermes: but... what do I do now??? penelope: you let it happen. not much else you can do.

she talks him through it.

hermes, rambling: but I will lose him. I'll lose him if he grows old and dies. this is why I don't get attached to mortals, you die too soon. he can't die now. penelope: he's not going to die now. he'll become the king first, he will find a good wife and have children and grandchildren. he will become great, greater that I and his father could ever dream of. and he'll be happy. don't you want to see that? hermes: I do, but- I don't want him to grow up! penelope: then you finally know the biggest joy and the deepest pain of parenthood.

it doesn't fix his fear. doesn't fix his pain, either. but it does help fix his attitude.

because she's right. Telemachus is growing old, and he can't shelter and protect the boy forever. soon he'll become a man, then an elder. and there's nothing Hermes can do about it, short of dragging the prince to Olympus and begging Zeus to grant him immortality, which will never work.

Hermes and Telemachus make up, of course. the latter knows, deep down, that the former is just trying to take care of him. they make up and forget the fight - at least, the boy does.

Hermes will always remember.

and he will count every day, every wrinkle, every grey hair.

the joy and pain of parenthood indeed.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

We could have had it all...

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[sherrymagic]

No one talked about [my death]. Like I never existed. My parents passed away when I was a kid. I got no relatives. And in no time, others will forget about the old Joe. Poom Phuripan as JOE in Episode 4 MY STAND-IN (2024)

[canisalbus]

As a longtime (2015ish) follower of yours, its been fun watching you become... more tender? toward Machete. back in the day it was angst angst angst, and i loved it! but you cant know darkness without light and vice verse. Youve been a massive inspiration the whole time btw. Its nice to see not-anthro!Machete again too

.

[lunarharp]

:')

[lolhex12]

we don't talk enough abt akutagawa's cough / lung disease (chronic&terminal) yet it has so much angst potential?? anywayy

after the current arc, atsushi knows akutagawa is actively dying and he's the only one who does bc akutagawa didn't tell anyone else abt it. (altho, in all honesty, the amount this man coughs should at least hint at it. i'm honestly amazed not more ppl in the story are concerned abt it)

so, the next mission they have together, akutagawa coughs and atsushi is now aware what it really means, so he wonders out loud with nonchalance masking his concern: "hey, so like, do you think yosano's ability would help with your cough and all? would it go away then?"

akutagawa, wiping his mouth, slightly annoyed: "how would i now? i'm not well-acquainted with your coworkers, weretiger, therefore it's none of my concern. and even then, i wouldn't trust any ada members with my issues, nor my life."

atsushi finds his words a bit sus bc 'u do trust me tho', but doesn't say it out loud and they leave it at that.

somehow, it becomes a regular thing. every time they have a mission together and atsushi hears his partner cough, he presents more ideas of how they could cure a terminal lung disease, and they vary in absurdity as he runs out of inspiration.

his ideas range from mere "have you tried going to a doctor?" (<- at which akutagawa stares in disbelief: "you either think i'm an idiot, or you are the idiot. which one is it?" and atsushi pouts bc 'ok yeah, fair... but also, rude') to insanities like "maybe witchcraft would help! i could look up witches in the area and see if black magic or something has any luck." (<- at which akutagawa is so done he doesn't even entertain the idea and just keeps walking)

they never follow through with any idea tho, bc akutagawa stubbornly refuses to waste time on trying to find a cure when his time on earth already is very limited.

it should also be noted that each time the cough gets worse; louder, rougher, more persistent and even bloody, which only makes atsushi more and more worried.

so one time, akutagawa's particularly annoyed by atsushi's insane and stupid ideas. he turns to him and point-blank asks: "why do even care so much whether i succumb to my illness or not? surely, my death should only leave you overjoyed to see the world be rid of one more evil."

that makes atsushi think bc 'why? why does he care whether akutagawa lives or dies? he's right, a bad person like a mafioso dying should be a good thing.'

after lengthy contemplation he comes to the conclusion that he simply cannot have his sworn enemy/rival/partner die from something as pathetic as a disease. someone as strong as akutagawa has to die in a more memorable way - not alone, in a bed, coughing, with nothing more to be remembered by. if anything he'd have to die fighting atsushi or something. yeah that's it. that's why. (<- it's not, but they're not quite there yet)

so atsushi tells him as much. akutagawa accepts it bc 'yeah, makes sense. what else could the reason be?'

the whole routine of coughing and brainstorming a solution in vain continues as the ideas get even more insane, the cough even worse and atsushi more concerned than ever.

the next time akutagawa is annoyed enough to pose the question again, atsushi is close to tears from anxiety as he holds up akutagawa who collapsed and can't seem to subdue his cough properly.

atsushi struggles to get out the water bottle and cough drops he'd started carrying around on their missions together. he's so scared bc he's never seen akutagawa look so sick and frail before (but not weak. never weak. akutagawa could never be weak in atsushi's eyes. it's impossible, bc akutagawa being strong is a simple, unchangeable fact, constant in any possible universe).

what would he do if akutagawa actually died there? in his arms? on a mission? which would probably get cancelled. would the pm think atsushi killed him? does he bring back the body or just bury it somewhere? pretend he got killed on the mission and not by his own body that had turned on him years ago and was in reality a long time coming? he couldn't even bear to think abt it.

"why tf do u care so much??" akutagawa yells with a scratchy voice before his cough continue despite his best efforts to stop.

atsushi can barely breathe anymore. "because i don't want you to die, you idiot! we're a team! you're my partner. who will i be left with if you go?" tears stream down his face, mainly from how overwhelming his anxiety feels. or maybe bc he really doesn't want his partner to die? nah, it's the anxiety. definitely the anxiety. (<- #denial)

akutagawa, at first embarrassed how his collapse derailed their mission bc goddammit he's supposed to be a professional and not let his issues interfere with his job, pauses when he sees atsushi crying... for him? because of him? ???

he's very confused bc he's pretty sure his rival/enemy/partner should not be so concerned abt his health and impending death, but something abt atsushi's expression and that whole situation makes him rethink his outlook on life.

that's when akutagawa starts taking his health more seriously and actively looks for possible, feasible ways to cure his disease, even if there's only a small chance it'll actually work. bc seeing atsushi like that made him realize there are a handful of people who care abt him and would mourn him if he died; more than just his sister and higuchi.

it made him realize his life had a bigger impact on others than he'd previously thought, not all of it bad.

[15lehna]

I'm still haunted by the fact that this was Imogen's reaction to her mom being alive despite everything she put her through and it was met with an angry "Did she know?" blasted in her head.

It could honnestly be about Ira's bomb/the innocents that died. And not the assassination attempt. But either way Imogen doesn't know that.

All she knows is she told Liliana to run which was the best warning she could have given her if you take into consideration the fact that her mom's only sentence to her for the past decade was just "Run Imogen" and not explaining in detail why she had to run or what danger she was actually facing by being Ruidus born. So Imogen didn't really owe her a "Hey mom they're gonna try to kill you tomorrow". And her mother is mad now.

[starheirxero]

Genuine thoughts tho are that I think I'm starting to like how this is panning out a bit more!!! Its starting to feel the same way that Ruin's whole situation did a few months back, where I was terribly nervous Ruin's big secret was that he was actually secretly a horrible evil villain who's trigger happy etc etc but it turned out to actually be a really interesting and refreshing situation of grey morality and character complexities n such, yk?

Like, this is going in an interesting direction!! Moon, now Nexus, is 100% being taken advantage of during his moment of weakness and besides my obvious delight in such a fucked dynamic, I'm genuinely hopeful and curious to see how this will pan out!! I'm still not totally sure if the lead-up was just messy grief, Dark Sun influences, or both, or maybe even a secret third thing, but it really does feel like things are starting to fall a little more into place now and I'm liking it :]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Master manipulator vs Master manipulator

 [First] Prev <–-> Next

[some-pers0n]

Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist

[waytooinvested]

Small Problem... Chapter 2

You can find the full story on AO3

..................................................

Lena was in the middle of grinding up a chunk of dried rhubarb for her latest spell to try and de-miniaturise Kara when Dreamer came hurtling into the room at full speed, almost running right into the far wall when she failed to slow down in time, and startling Lena so much that she dropped her pestle.

‘Nia! What is it? What’s happened?’

She would have been more worried by the sudden entrance, if not for the fact that Nia was now bouncing excitedly from foot to foot, and holding -something- behind her back like a child who had just raided the cookie jar.

‘Have you seen Kara anywhere? She’s not on the snack table’.

There was a tiny huff of air against Lena’s ear, and an indignant little voice muttered ‘I don’t spend that much time with the snacks!’

‘She doesn’t spend that much time with the snacks’.

Nia chuckled at the passed-on-message, tilting her head to peer past the fall of Lena’s hair to where Kara was sitting comfortably on her shoulder, legs dangling by her clavicle and one hand fisted in her shirt for balance.

‘I don’t know why I even asked – I should have known if you weren’t making the most of a fresh batch of crullers you’d be in here with Lena’.

‘There’s CRULLERS???’

Lena didn’t have to speak up for Kara this time, because that had come out at a volume loud enough to make her wince, and definitely loud enough to carry to Nia standing a few feet away.

‘Kara, remember what we said about shouting and proximity to people’s ears?’

‘Oops, sorry…’ Kara patted the lobe of Lena’s ear apologetically. ‘But crullers Lena! I haven’t had a giant cruller yet, and you know they’re my favourite!’

‘Well hang on, that’s not what I came here to tell you! I got you a surprise!’

Nia was bouncing again, and at last Kara was diverted from the promise of fresh doughnuts by her obvious excitement.

‘What is it?’

‘It’s- drum roll please-’

Nia stamped her feet in a rapid tattoo to simulate her own drum roll, then brought out the thing behind her back with a flourish, plonking it down in the middle of Lena’s grimoire so it would be right in Kara’s line of sight.

‘-YOU!’

The big (well, little) surprise was a miniature Supergirl action figure. Just under five inches high, complete with Supersuit, cape, boots and flowing waves of plastic hair. They all stared at it for a moment, and then Kara lifted gingerly off Lena’s shoulder and floated down to have a closer look.

It was not a perfect likeness by any means, but one of the better of its kind, and seeing the two of them side by side was… a little uncanny, honestly. Kara walked a slow circle around her doppelganger, taking in its fixed plastic grin and hands-on-hips pose with a perplexed frown on her face.

‘Thank… you?’

‘What’s she supposed to do with it?’

‘Isn’t it obvious?’

Kara and Lena looked at the doll, then at each other, then shrugged.

‘Not really?’

‘The clothes. You can take the supersuit off, I checked! Even the boots are proper leather. Well, pleather, but I think they’ll be comfy enough – they’re soft anyway, not stiff plastic, and they look about the right size’.

Kara perked up at that, keen to get back into something that would feel more like her usual self.

Once it had become clear that getting Kara back to her proper size wasn’t going to be a quick fix, they had done their best to get her properly outfitted. Alex and Kelly had taken Esme home to raid her doll box for anything that might come close to fitting Kara, and they had found a few things that worked, which Kara had been wearing on rotation. Her favourite so far had been a tiny pair of blue jean style stretchy pants, and a matching blue shirt with long sleeves layered under short that had once belonged to a Tiny Teen!TM doll. Her LEAST favourite was the ill fitting ‘sleepy bunnikins’ baby doll onesie she had been forced to wear for one humiliating afternoon while chocolate frosting was washed out of her other clothes after an incident of over-exuberance helping Esme decorate cupcakes for her upcoming birthday party. The rest fell somewhere between the two on the spectrum of acceptability, but none had made Kara feel entirely herself, and they had had no luck at all so far with shoes.

Until now.

‘YES! Thank you Nia!!! Lena, would you mind…?’

Kara gestured at the open grimoire and Lena obligingly stood it up on its end to hide her and the doll from their view, hoping that it wasn’t inadvertently insulting to her mother’s memory to use her revered magic book as a changing screen. She and Nia waited patiently for the reveal, sharing an amused glance at the mutters and grumbles that emerged from behind the book as Kara wrestled her plastic twin out of its clothes and pulled them on herself.

When at last she emerged the twee floral dress and pinafore she had borrowed from Esme’s littlest china doll was gone, and Kara was once more dressed in an approximation of her own clothes. She struck her familiar Supergirl pose, hands on hips, newly shod feet set wide apart, and looked hopefully up at them.

‘What do you think?’

Lena examined her tiny friend and nodded admiringly.

‘Much better. You look like yourself again’.

It was true, but not wholly true. The sizing was no worse than any of the other outfits she had been making do with lately to be fair – better if anything, since it was made of stretchy, forgiving material, but knowing how her suit was supposed to fit made it all the more obvious that the sleeves of this one were straining around Kara’s biceps, while the too-long pants wrinkled and the top hung loosely across her chest. Apparently the manufacturers had taken some liberties with Supergirl’s bra size…

Nia squealed and clapped her hands in delight. ‘I’m so glad I stayed up til 4am in an ebay bidding war for it, it was TOTALLY worth it!’

‘Nia, you didn’t!’

‘Yep – there’s loads of Supergirl dolls out there, but most of them are too big, or the clothes are just painted on. THIS one is a much sought after “Superhero In My Hand” model, and the clothes come off so that you can swap them out with other dolls in the series if you want to. I really wanted to get little Dreamer too, but that one still had another two hours on the auction and Brainy changed the wifi password to force me go to sleep, so my nemesis got her instead’.

Lena raised an eyebrow. ‘You have a nemesis?’

‘I do now. Ebay user Iheartdreamer98’.

Nia glared darkly at nothing in particular, then dropped to a crouch so that she was at eye level with Kara on the table, grinning again as if nothing had happened.

‘This is so cool. What do you think of the doll?’

‘I love the clothes, but the actual doll is a bit creepy, and they made me look kind of constipated. Now she’s out of the outfit I don’t think she really looks much like me at all’.

‘So you don’t want to keep her?’

‘Not especially’.

‘Can I have her then?’

Kara frowned. ‘What for?’

Glancing between Kara and Lena, Nia beckoned them both closer before whispering ‘hijinks’.

‘Go on…’ Kara whispered back conspiratorially (then had to repeat herself more loudly, because at her current size a whisper was inaudible unless she practically climbed into your ear canal).

‘Well -’. Nia reached over the grimoire to pull out the doll, which Lena noticed was now wearing Kara’s cast off frills (apparently despite thinking it didn’t look like her she had felt weird about leaving it entirely naked, even though it must have been a pain trying to dress a from-her-perspective-life-sized plastic dummy). ‘-Brainy knows I bought this because he was there when I was ordering it. But no one else does. Alex doesn’t. I thought there might be some good pranking potential in it. What do you think? Something to do while you’re stuck in here?’

Kara grinned back wickedly ‘oh yes’.

After the first couple of days spent getting used to her new size and taking part in a dozen different (failed) attempts at de-shrinking spells, Kara’s mood had shifted from distress to boredom. She couldn’t go to work. She couldn’t fly out to save the day from villains (though she had waged an hours long battle to oust a rat that had been attempting to set up home in the tower, then spent a further day amusing Esme with stories and re-enactments of her daring exploits). She couldn’t even go out without someone’s pocket to hide in, in case anyone saw her and decided to use her relative vulnerability to their advantage. In fact as Nia had alluded to, the main solace Kara had now was her continued delight in over-sized snacks, but even her appetite had its limits, and she was desperate for things to do. It seemed that Nia might just have found a neat solution to both her need for proper clothing and her need for entertainment (even if it was at the expense of her long-suffering sister).

‘You’re with us, right Lena?’

‘I’m theoretically with you. I won’t tell Alex what you’re up to or do anything to spoil your fun, but I don’t think I’ll have time to actively join in. I really need to keep working on this spell so you can get back to normal’.

Lena hadn’t been doing anything but working on spells since Kara’s accident, even though she had long since tried even the most tenuously promising charms in her mother’s book, and was more or less just making things up now. She was using rhubarb, because it was known for its speedy and extensive growth. Bamboo shoots for the same reason. A dose of her artificial yellow sunlight to boost Kara’s innate powers and lend the spell strength… she was about 48 hours away from suggesting that Kara drink up her milk and go to bed early in the hopes that it would help her grow up big and strong, or else poking about in rabbit holes to find the way down to Wonderland and the caterpillar’s magic size changing mushroom, but she couldn’t admit it.

Not when whatever had happened had to have been her fault. She and Kara had been standing over the workbench together at the time looking through her grimoire. Their hands had collided as they both reached to turn a page and Lena had felt the usual surge of butterflies that came with touching Kara unexpectedly. Then suddenly all hell had broken loose and everyone else had been thrown across the room while Kara shrank to dolls house proportions. It must have been some unforeseen magical accident linked to the surge of emotion, or the physical contact while touching the book, or… something. And if Lena’s magic had caused this, that meant it must also be able to fix it.

The trouble was that despite going over the interaction second by second in her mind every hour since it had happened, she still had no idea what she had done, or how. She hadn’t been trying to do a spell. Not just a shrinking spell, but any kind. The idea that magic could just burst out of her uncontrollably like that was terrifying, and another reason why she had been spending most of her time holed up in this room away from the others, where she couldn’t accidentally hurt anyone.

In fact the only person she hadn’t made excuses to stay away from for more than five minutes at a time lately was Kara.

Kara, who was the one Lena had most hurt with her accidental witchcraft, but also the only other person who was as trapped in the tower as Lena was until she learned to keep her magic under tighter control. It felt unfair to turn her away when she was already so lonely and overwhelmed by her new size. Besides, Lena harboured a secret, desperate hope that if they were together enough then whatever she had accidentally done might be undone the same way. They would brush knuckles in exactly the right place at exactly the right moment, or Kara would step onto some special part of the grimoire, and just as suddenly as she had shrunk, she would grow back to her usual size and this would all be over.

She didn’t say that to Kara of course – to her and to everyone else she remained optimistic, assuring them that they weren’t out of options yet, and the next spell might just be the one that would do the trick. Well then, the next. Or the one after that. She would find it eventually. She had to. So she couldn’t let herself get diverted into playing games with Nia and Kara, no matter how hopefully they were looking at her now. That would be like admitting she was giving up. And besides, somebody might get hurt.

Kara crossed the table to her and patted her knuckle gently, understanding something of her distress, even if not all of it.

‘I know you want to work this out Lena, but you’re allowed to take a break. It’s okay if it takes time. I’m okay’.

Lena smiled back at her gratefully, but shook her head.

‘I know, and I’ll take a break if I need to. I just want to do a little more work on this one first’.

‘Are you coming up for dinner at least? J’onn’s cooking something Martian-inspired’.

‘Sounds good, but I’m not really hungry. Save me some left overs?’

‘Sure…’

Kara still didn’t look happy, but she flew up from the table to perch on Nia’s shoulder, and Lena listened to the two of them talking about how best to prank the others with their look-alike Kara as they clattered off back down the hallway, leaving Lena alone with her spells.

Rhubarb.

Bamboo.

Artificial yellow sun.

There had to be a way.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Febuwhump Day 9 - Alternate Prompt, "I love you"

More emotional pain fun with the predecessors of Hyrule Warriors! This one gets a little steamy and suggestive, but there's nothing explicit, FYI.

XX

The courtyard was more beautiful than he'd ever seen it. Lanterns held the evening shadows at bay, the flowers were in full bloom, the water in the fountains sparkled in the light of fairies that had come with the great fairy's blessing. Magic was sweet in the air, little pops of it sending showering rainbows cascading down on the guests.

Link gazed at it all, entranced, temporarily pulled out of the usual dark exhaustion that numbed him to his core. For just a second, he genuinely felt alive, and for a moment longer, he recognized the gravity of the situation.

A baby. A baby.

The young king consort wandered through the gardens, barely noticing people bowing or nodding in acknowledgement to him. He had lost sight of the queen, and he knew he was supposed to be close to her.

He had walked through these gardens so many times in the past. It had been a while since he'd been outside, apart from going to the training grounds. He couldn't recall them ever looking so enlivened.

He wondered if the rest of the kingdom looked this bright. The last time he'd been outside the castle, Hyrule Field had been scorched earth.

Queen Zelda appeared ahead of him, standing on a slightly elevated part of the courtyard, and Link went to her. She was talking to Impa, who noticed Link's approach first, and the pair watched him as he climbed the stairs. Link looked Zelda over, a little unnerved at the swelling of her belly, at how it was emphasized by the dress she wore.

So many emotions flooded him. Guilt, pain, fear, hope, excitement, dread. He didn't know how to process this, how to look at the physical proof of what he'd been hearing for months. He hadn't seen her in months.

A baby.

The queen extended a hand, the motion holding gentle confidence despite the clear hesitancy in her gaze, and he automatically took it, letting her guide him towards the center of the courtyard. Impa's eyes never left him.

Crowds began to gather, more faces than he could count or focus on, and Link grew dizzy. He remained steadfast by his queen's side as she spoke to the people of Hyrule.

"Thank you for coming to celebrate with us," he heard when he tuned in. "The road has been perilous, but together, we are rebuilding. Hyrule will thrive once more, stronger than ever. May this child be a symbol of the goddess' favor, of the prosperity of Hyrule that is to come."

The crowd cheered, shouts of joy and praise and long live the queen and other phrases that Link could no longer decipher in the noise. His eyes wandered over the people aimlessly, letting himself be simultaneously shown off and ignored, until his gaze settled on a familiar face.

Amber eyes, captivating in their intensity. Dark brown skin, smooth and silky and glowing in the light. Fiery red hair, as bright as the sun, held out of a face with a high ponytail, spilling over bare shoulders in numerous small braids that were decorated with beads. A crimson bodice decorated with jewels and embroidery, with wide brimming baggy, silky pants and a shimmering red train laying overtop it that slid to the floor and pooled around like water.

The chief of the Gerudo.

Hemisi.

Link felt the blood drain out of his face. He hadn't seen her since... since... everything.

Although the Gerudo entourage around her applauded with the crowd, Hemisi was still and silent, just watching him, only him. Link wanted nothing more than to melt into the earth.

Something changed in the atmosphere. Queen Zelda released his hand, and the crowds moved. People started to mingle, many vying for the monarchs' attention. Though most flocked to his wife, Link still found himself suddenly surrounded by strangers, congratulating him and trying to make small talk and curry favor. Link did his best to fumble through the conversation, keeping his responses to smiles, nods, or a couple words, before the bombardment was interrupted. The crowd parted as if by force, and Link saw Hemisi approaching him, his party guests watching her uneasily.

Hemisi stopped a mere two paces away from him, but it felt like a canyon was between them.

"Your Highness," she acknowledged with a tip of her head.

Link swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. Her name came out of his lips as a whisper, inaudible above the din, and he nodded his head to cover his slip up.

"I must say," one of the nobles who had surrounded him piped up. "It is quite the surprise to see you here, Gerudo. You were not present for the royal wedding - I assumed you would not wish to set foot in Hyrule once more given what your people have done to this land."

Link felt the bottom drop out of his stomach while his skin crawled. His hands twitched, rage pushing him to throttle the man while anxiety of the repercussions held him in place. He couldn't help the glare that he threw in the noble's direction, though.

Hemisi's seething look far surpassed it. Despite the murderous intent in her gaze, though, and the way the noble cowered, she had an impressive amount of restraint. Her words dripped with venom as she replied, "Ganondorf led the assault and caused the war. I fought against him. I understand these things can get confusing to you, as I know for certain none of you partook in the war, instead hiding away in your riches while your people bled. But I bled with my people, the Gerudo suffered just as Hylians did. And I not only defeated Ganondorf, I helped your princess and hero split his soul into shards to ensure this never happened again."

The noble had no rebuttal, too busy shrinking away, and the others left with him.

They were alone.

Link wanted to scream, to apologize, to hunt the noble down and slit his throat, to slit his own throat.

"You really do suck at this whole political thing, don't you?" Hemisi asked, a lesser bite to her tone.

Link finally felt his chest stop tightening, allowing him to take a breath and let out a small, pathetic laugh. "Yeah. I... well, you know."

"Yeah. I know."

What should he say? What could he say?

"Let's walk," Hemisi suggested, not waiting for his consent before she started to guide him away from the center of the party.

They walked in silence for a while, Link's mind whirling, unable to formulate a sentence, wondering what was happening and what he was about to have to handle. His heart raced at her touch, his mind screamed at her proximity.

Farore above, why did this have to be so complicated?

Link started to grow dizzy, but finally, finally Hemisi found a hidden corner and tucked both of them into it. The music sounded so far away, reality sounded so far away.

Here, in the darkness, away from politics and pressure, Link found his voice. "I'm sorry for that. I--that was completely unacceptable."

"Will you kill him?" Hemisi questioned, crossing her arms.

"What? No, I can't--"

"I'm joking, stupid," Hemisi interrupted with a huff, before cocking her head to the side and asking, "Would you, if you could?"

The heat surged him in once more. "I'd certainly like to beat that entitlement out of him."

Hemisi remained silent, watching him longer until he started to squirm under her scrutiny. He wasn't sure where this conversation was going, or even where it should go - they hadn't spoken since--

"I'm sorry," he said before he realized it.

"You already said that."

"No, I--" he stumbled, caught between wanting to backtrack and wanting to follow through. How could he possibly apologize for everything? "I mean--I--"

"You did your duty," Hemisi replied in a monotone, as if to explain some unimportant detail, as if to hammer a point home, as if it didn't matter or mattered too much.

Link's head dropped, shame blushing his cheeks. But a bit of hope sparked in his heart too - if she could understand and accept it, then maybe he could too. Maybe they could salvage this.

"She looks fatter than I thought she would," Hemisi added dully, making Link's gaze snap back to her. The chief shrugged. "She does. Hope it hurts too."

"H-Hemisi," he chided halfheartedly, heart racing.

"You're going to defend her?" she snapped, ire returning in a heartbeat.

Why did this have to be so complicated? "You shouldn't--you shouldn't wish ill of her--"

"You don't?" Hemisi hissed back.

Link bit his tongue.

"You don't understand, do you?" she continued, taking a menacing step towards him. "How could you not understand--I thought you--after everything we've been through--"

"Hemisi, please--"

"Your people mock me and fear me despite everything, and that bitch is at the root of all these issues!"

"Don't call her that," Link snapped in return, the fire igniting inside him once more.

"I had to not only kill my own father, but tear his soul to pieces - he can't even rest in the afterlife, I helped condemn him to eternal hell, after already losing my mother and brother. And in the end, my reward was to lose the love of my life and let Hyrule punish my people for a war I didn't even start." Hemisi glowered. "I have every right to fight, every right to hate her, every reason to destroy this land, to take what is mine."

The air seemed to have frozen, alongside Link's blood. His ears were ringing, heart racing. This was spiraling out of control quickly, and his mind and heart were at war, sympathizing so much it hurt while also hearing Ganondorf's voice in her words.

Every right to fight, to destroy this land, to take what is mine.

Before he could retaliate, Hemisi backed down, just a hair, just enough to remove the danger from her words. "But I chose to stay my hand. People always say thank the goddesses when good things happen, but I assure you, the goddesses are thanking me."

The air was electric, and then the tension trickled away as Hemisi sighed, looking away. "Damn it. I wasn't--just forget it."

Link leaned against the stone wall, also averting his gaze. He was so tired. This wasn't exactly how he'd wanted a reunion between them to go, but he wasn't surprised that it was going this way.

"I'm sorry," he repeated quietly, sincerely.

A calloused hand touched his cheek, making him flinch. He wasn't used to physical contact anymore, having hid himself away for so long after everything. But the touch was familiar, skin smelling of oils that she used when they'd first met, the caressing akin to how she'd touched him before the war. He melted into it for a moment, looking at her as she watched him. Although Hemisi was an opinionated woman, she didn't seem to have any kind of reply to his apology, and the world grew quiet around them. Link let his hand rest overtop hers, and eventually he noted softly, "Your hand's cold."

The Gerudo chief snorted. "It's cold here in Castle Town."

Link reached and took her other hand, guiding both of them to his chest while his hands rested overtop them to warm them. Hemisi tilted forward, leaning her body weight against his as the wall supported them both, her softness making his entire body tingle. Their faces were inches apart, and Link lost his breath as she leaned in and kissed him.

Goddesses he'd missed this, he'd missed her. His skin felt electric, his blood like fire. Memories of time spent with her flooded his heart and mind, of nights stargazing and pointing out different constellations they'd learned with the stories behind them, of days sparring, of discussions on culture and ideas and duties, of adventures exploring and sneaking around, of comfort as tensions rose, of anguish as war broke out, of despair and relief and hope and--

Link let her pull him to the grass, lost in the moment, wanting this more than anything, when he heard the music off in the distance.

The party. The queen. The baby.

"Stop," he whispered, trying to regain his voice.

Hemisi paused, looking at him from overtop him, her hair spilling over her and creating a veil between them and the rest of the world.

"Why?" she asked just as softly, hands massaging his scalp. "We deserve it. You've done your duty, the queen has her victory kid, the kingdom's in love with it. Come back to the desert with me."

Link was losing himself in the relaxing motion, his body's desires overpowering his senses, and he held his breath, pushing against the earth with one foot to flip them over so he had her pinned gently to the ground, hands holding hers down at the wrists, keeping the temptation at bay.

I'm better than this. I can control myself. "You know it's not that simple, Hemisi."

"But it is that simple," she argued. "You married Zelda because she demanded it, because she needed the kingdom to think the royal family was strong. You did the gig for a year, there's a baby now, the family will live on. She doesn't need you anymore. You did your duty."

"She's still my wife," Link argued, moving away from her to sit by the stone wall.

"Did you mean it when you took the vows?" Hemisi demanded, sitting up. "Did you actually want to marry her?"

"I--I didn't want to marry her, but--"

"Then it doesn't count!"

"It does," Link snapped, rising. "Because I meant those vows, and I take my promises seriously."

"How can you be this--this idiotic?!" Hemisi yelled, also shooting to her feet. "When you first said you had to marry her--we were promised to each other, Link, and--I waited, I waited, I even let her take you because I didn't want the war to continue either, but the war is over and she has her token child, just leave her!"

"I already told you I can't!" Link argued. "Don't you understand what would happen? I meant those vows for a reason, Hemisi! This isn't just about Zelda's demands, it's about the entire kingdom! You're not the only one who had to sacrifice for peace! If Zelda and I hadn't married, it could've destroyed the Sheikah, the stability of the crown, and Hyrule along with it."

Link shook his head, feeling nauseous, and looked away. "If I were to leave her, especially for you, there will never be peace."

"You think Zelda will start a war again," Hemisi growled.

"Not her," Link replied. "But everyone else."

"You're defending her?"

"Hemisi, please," Link begged, getting the courage to look her in the eye again. "Please. I don't want anyone else to die. I especially don't want you to get hurt."

"You think I'd let them kill me?" she asked challengingly, though her tone was quiet and the way her eyebrow rose was as cheeky as it could be.

Link had to smile at it, complications forgotten temporarily, and he hugged her so tightly he could barely breathe. She held him just as fiercely. "I love you so much."

Hemisi's breath tickled his ear, shaky and vulnerable, and she buried her face in his shoulder to hide the tremble in her tone. "I love you too."

The pair stood there for what felt like hours, clinging to each other for comfort, desperate to express their care for each other, terrified to release each other, wanting nothing more than to make the rest of the world melt away.

Voices came ever closer, and eventually they let go. Hemisi dipped down to pick up the crown that had fallen off Link when they'd tumbled to the ground, and she silently placed it back on his head.

[blaqcats-fics]

(He’s) Just a Phase — Part 0

Part 1

It was 1989 when they broke up.

It was quiet. It was quick. It was devastating.

Most of all, Steve knew it was all because of him. If it had been another timeline with drastically different events, Steve was sure that his apartment wouldn’t feel so cold, so empty. In another life, Steve wouldn’t have made the same mistakes, and Steve would be in an apartment that actually felt like home.

That was not a wish that Steve could dream of anymore.

Steve was stuck in an apartment that felt too much like his parents’ house in Hawkins. Nothing in the apartment was his. The apartment held no memories or no warmth. Besides the furniture, one wouldn’t believe that anyone lived there. The apartment was clean — too clean. Cleaning meant that there wouldn’t be a reminder that there used to be something, or rather someone, that caused his heart to beat out of his chest or that caused him to feel safe.

Cleaning merely helped on the surface because underneath it all, Steve knew the truth.

Eddie was gone all because Steve hadn’t been ready.

Steve, now, wasn’t sure he would ever be ready. Even if the breakup left a giant black hole in his chest, the terrifying reality of being out scared the living shit out of him, but despite the terror that courses through his veins at the thought of telling someone, Steve hadn’t been strong enough to tell those closest to them or be proud of their relationship in safe places.

There were things Steve could blame for his hesitation. He surely could blame his parents, specifically his father, but it didn't matter. Steve made Eddie a victim of his insecurities. It didn't matter how patient Eddie had been; Steve would never have been ready for what Eddie wanted.

It wasn't until October of 1993, four years after Eddie left his life, that Steve did an unspeakable act, at least in the eyes of the Party.

Steve signed on to his walkie-talkie, newly bought months prior when his old one started to fall apart, and said his goodbyes. Not forever, but for now.

Robin had tried to show up at his apartment but was met with the sight of the landlord giving a tour of an empty apartment with a door that had an engraving of ‘E+S’ in Eddie’s shaky handwriting.

No one knew where Steve had gone. He had fallen off the grid.

He, however, was just under their noses. It was easy to hide in plain sight when no one had actually seen you in a long time. Sure, phone calls occurred, but life had gone on, and being spread out across the country made it difficult to meet, especially when everyone was an adult working some sort of 9-to-5. At first, not seeing any more made dread curl in Steve’s gut, but now, it was a safety net.

It was best that no one recognized Steve Harrington because he was about to ruin himself to the world, all in order to show Eddie Munson that he loved him more than the universe itself, and he was going to do in the only way that Eddie would listen, and that was with a busted guitar from the thrift store and mediocre voice.

All that Steve had to worry about was how Eddie was going to hear him from the top. After all, just a year after their break up, Corroded Coffin made it big.

[anti-spop]

catra leaving adora when adora needs her the most is. fucked up. it is not romantic. stop pretending it is.

[averlym]

" just...come here. just sit here with me" (...that one scene from princess momonoke, click for better resolution)

[just-slightly-chayotic]

i have an incredibly bad feeling about this and i am doing my best to fight it off but it's not working