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devilstruly · 5 months ago

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FRI(END)S -

- 'let's put the end in friends'

pairing (drumroll please) - jason todd x f.reader

includes - mutual pining, best friend dick grayson, batfam being nosy as shit, reader is kind of camera shy/insecure, jealous jason but in a cute way, angry confession (personal fav), mild angst but with a happy ending obvi, swearing, briefly mentioned smut (like one sentence at the end) + anything i might've missed

a/n - hi hello...idk what to say honestly. this was a very random idea i got at like 3am and i can just hope that you guys will like it. also my characteristics of the fam are solely based on the webtoon. yes the title is inspired by taehyung's single what about it

@dreamingaboutsakuratrees this one's for you (and everyone else who voted on that poll) <3

'Yes! Yes, that's perfect! Gosh, the camera absolutely loves you two!'

'Thanks, Delilah ~'

Dick sends the photographer a wink, paired with that signature grin of his, and she nearly falls on her ass. You roll your eyes at the scene affectionately, focused on fixing your hair and checking your makeup for the nth time in the past hour.

'Will you quit it?'

Beside you, your best friend whines and you swat him away with your hand, eyes never leaving the mirror.

'I'm sorry! I just wanna make sure it looks good!'

'You look beautiful. You're doing great, you just need to relax. Focus on me, yeah?'

It's honestly impossible to say no to those eyes, you've learned that a long while ago. The fact that he knows the effect he has doesn't help either.

The photoshoot goes by in a blur. You've changed at least five outfits, done the couple shoots, done the single ones, had a lunch break, etc etc. Throughout the day you learn that the crew that works for Gotham Gazette is actually quite nice, which helped ease your nerves immensely.

Now six hours later, you're sitting in your comfortable clothes, in the passenger seat of Dick's car, on the familiar road towards the Wayne Mansion.

As soon as you step through the door you're greeted with a flash of purple.

'How was it?! Tell me everything! When will the cover be out?! What did you wear?! Who did you see?!'

Stephanie looks as if she's about to burst and simultaneously split her face in half with her grin.

'It went...well, it went.'

Beside you Dick rolls his eyes so hard you could almost hear the gesture.

'Don't listen to her, it was great. She was great.'

'Stoppppp!'

You immediately hide your face in your hands, much to the man's amusement. One of Dick's arms wraps around your shoulders and the three of you head for the library.

'Well, well, well, if it isn't Gotham's power couple ~'

'Gross. Everybody knows they are mere friends.'

'We know. But the rest of Gotham is skeptical.'

'You are hallucinating, Drake. This is why you should stop drinking multitudinous of coffee.'

'Listen here you little shit-'

'O-kay!'

Dick, as always, steps in between the two brothers, effectively averting what could result in another prank war between the two. And it's not even prank season yet.

'Damian, you and I need to discuss that plan for tonight, right?'

'What are you talking ab-'

'The sooner we start the better!'

With that the two dissappear from the room, a very confused Damian letting himself be led by a beaming Dick.

Allowing yourself to feel the tiredness from everything you've done today, you plop on the now empty seat on the couch and sigh deeply.

'Cookie?'

'Thanks, Cass.'

You smile gratefully at the girl, sinking into the cushions more and more while chewing on the chocolate chip cookie.

'Sooo...'

Duke begins, the suspicious tone causing you to raise a brow before he continues.

'...When do we get to see the pictures?'

With this, every pair of eyes in the room turns to you, and you have to avoid the urge to groan.

'The actual magazine comes out in a week. But they'll email us the pictures the day after tomorrow I think.'

'I can't wait to see them! I bet you and Dick had so much chemistry in the photos!'

'Honestly, next to him I don't think anyone will notice me.'

'Of course they will! Especially if you did a couple shoot and got all close and-'

A loud slam interrupts Steph and her rambling and all of you turn to look at a very annoyed Jason. Which, to be fair, is just normal Jason.

He's silent when he stands up and walks across the room, hands stuffed in his pockets. If you had to guess, you'd say he was avoiding eye-contact too.

'Awkward...'

'Not helping Duke.'

- a few days later -

Everyone is sitting in the living room, crowded around Tim's computer, with you and Dick in the middle.

'Jason!'

Dick chirps as soon as he sees his brother enter the room.

'Come look at the photos!'

'No thanks.'

That was the second time that week that Jason refused to look you in the eyes and downright ignored your existence. But you knew better than to press Jason Todd.

Besides, maybe it wasn't even personal.

This was definitely personal.

You haven't talked to Jason in days, and it was driving you insane. The worst part is that you have no idea what the fuck you did.

So naturally, as one does, you'll ask him about it. Deciding that it's best to do it after patrol, particularly after the two of you took down some thugs together and were left alone, you refuse to go back home until you two work this out.

'See you tomorrow.'

'Jason.'

Red Hood stops dead in his tracks, and despite his back being turned to you, you can see the tension in his shoulders.

'This needs to stop.'

'I have no idea what-'

'Cut the bullshit, Jay. Why the fuck have you been avoiding me?'

He inhales deeply, mustering up the courage to turn around and face you. Your arms are crossed in front of your chest, accompanied with a very annoyed glare.

'I'm waiting.'

'It's nothing that concerns you.'

His answer makes you at least five times more furious and you scoff.

'Oh yeah? Well I beg to differ. I think I deserve to know why my friend has spent an entire week actively avoiding me.'

Due to his helmet you can't see it, but Jason rolls his eyes in annoyance.

'Why do you care, anyway? I'd say Richard has been keeping you busy.'

This makes you splutter, completely catching you of guard. His words are on repeat in your mind as you try to piece two and two together.

'What the fuck does Dick have to do with any of this?!'

'You tell me!'

Both of your voices echo off the empty walls in the alleyway before a thick silence takes over. Jason takes off his helmet and places it on a nearby fire escape so he can run a hand through his hair.

You watch him, still mildly annoyed, but the sight of his face welcoming nonetheless. And then he looks up and you feel an arrow shoot right through your heart.

His green eyes are soft, dare you say pleading, when they meet your own.

'I-' He takes a deep breath. 'It's the damn photoshoot.'

Before you can ask him to elaborate he's already going off, arms flying every which way with gestures he uses to emphasize his points.

'All I've been hearing for days has been about you and Dick looking all couple-y and what not. I mean you looked gorgeous, honestly why would anyone pay attention to him when you're right there, but god was it getting annoying.'

You have to blink a few times before your brain catches up with his words. Much to his dismay, you don't soften, if anything you look even more pissed now.

'I still don't understand why you've been avoiding me.'

'Because I fucking like you!'

The volume of his words startles you and you swear he was heard a couple blocks away.

'You what now-'

Jason takes a step closer to you.

'I-'

Another step.

'-like-'

Another step.

'-you.'

He's gotten so close to the point of cornering you against a wall, the intensity behind his eyes rendering you unable to look away. You allow yourself a few silent moments to simply appreciate his beauty this close before putting him out of his misery. By your standards at least.

'So this whole time you've just been jealous?'

It takes all of your willpower not to laugh when he deadpans.

'I never took you for a jealous guy to be hones-'

'Shut the fuck up already and kiss me.'

'Yessir ~'

He groans at the term and you make a mental note to use it again later when you're at his apartment.

Who needs to sleep anyway?

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2btheanswertothequestion · 2 years ago

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Eddie's porn stash is a pretty conventional one. An 'if you've seen one stash you've seen them all' type. It basically only consists of skin mags, some of them kinky but most of them vanilla. Normal stuff.

The oddest thing in it is a two-year-old calendar. You know those sexy firefighter calendars? Usually a charity thing? A hit with the housewife crowd? Yeah. Except this calendar decided to branch out and include a bunch of sexy men from a bunch of sexy professions.

So, in this thing, joining the sexy firefighter is a sexy doctor, a sexy construction worker, a sexy police officer (whose month Eddie tore out and burned because fuck cops but don't ever fuck cops), a sexy librarian, and so on. They're all really good-looking, but none of them hold a candle to the paramedic.

It's weird. Paramedics aren't normally part of the traditionally sexy professions. It's messy and sometimes tragic, but lacks the high-paying glamour that doctors and nurses enjoy. Eddie's had his fair share of fantasies, and none of them involved fucking a paramedic.

Until two years ago.

The guy in the calendar simply is that hot.

There's not even anything risqué about his picture. None of the pictures go beyond "this dude is chiseled and shirtless", because veering even slightly past the softest softcore territory would scare off the little housewives or something.

(Eddie is actually pretty fucking sure it'd increase the sales, but hey, what does he know.)

The point is, there's nothing that obscene about the pic. Just a guy kneeling in the back of an ambulance, first aid equipment scattered between his powerful thighs, shirt open to reveal his sculpted torso…

Dark hair spanning across his pecs, over his abs, vanishing down his tight tight tight pants. Hips canting upward, bringing attention to the size of his bulge beneath the zipper. Broad shoulders, ripped arms and large hands, veins protruding across the back. A pretty yet masculine face, with a strong jaw and a straight nose, full lips, a smattering of moles going down his biteable neck. Voluminous, golden brown hair swooped away from his twinkling eyes.

He's got this look in them, this slant to his mouth. Like he knows he's the hottest guy in the calendar.

The one month everyone will go crazy for.

Eddie has become intimately familiar with that look. No joke, in two years it's made him crack his marbles more than anyone else has done in his quarter-century lifetime. When all else fails, November-paramedic has his back. It's basically his longest relationship to date, which sounds a lot sadder out loud (and it sounded fucking sad inside his head, too).

You might wonder why any of that is relevant now, as he sits on the curb outside of The Behemoth with blood trickling from his temple, his band giving their statements to one cop while another hauls away the snarling douchebag that clipped him. How does it play a part in this god-awful night out, you ask?

Well.

"Sir?"

Eddie startles, too caught up in the thudding inside his head, made worse by the buzzing crowd, to notice the man approaching him. He looks up, his gaze gliding past uniformed legs, muscular forearms, a curved neck and honeyed eyes appraising Eddie, and oh.

Oh God.

Eddie's breath sticks in his chest and his tongue becomes a cognate to sandpaper, because it's the paramedic.

It's the paramedic. From the calendar.

He's hallucinating. He has to be. He collapsed on the sidewalk, and now he's having one last weird sex dream before his brain finishes seeping out and he fucking dies.

November-paramedic crouches in front of him. Eddie continues to gape like he's getting ready to catch the peanuts no one is tossing at him.

"My name is Steve. I'm with the ambulance," November-paramedic says. "What's your name?"

Eddie makes a noise incomprehensible to most Earth cultures before his brain registers the meaning of the question and stutters out the answer.

"I- Uh- E-Eddie. It's, it's Eddie."

November-paramedic – Steve – smiles kindly. Heat prickles across Eddie's cheeks and neck. It's not the same as the cocky, sexy smile he's got in the calendar, but still. He's smiling. At Eddie!

"Hi, Eddie." He nods toward Eddie's temple. "That's an impressive cut you got there. May I take a look at it?"

"Yeah? Yeah. Um, g-go ahead."

As Steve sets down his bag and rummages through it, Eddie scours his face to confirm that it really is the guy from the calendar. To his chagrin, it is. There's no mistaking it. Those eyes, like liquid gold. That jawline, a weapon in its own right. Those moles, applied so skillfully it must've been by an artist's hand. That hair, coming straight out of a commercial for luxury shampoo. It's lying flatter than in the calendar, either lacking product or having sweated it out, but it's still glorious.

Steve, having finished washing his hands, tugs on a pair of disposable gloves. The plastic snaps against his wrist, sending a shiver through Eddie. It centers between his legs. Shit, if he pops a boner now…

"I'm going to ask you some questions, okay?" Steve says while pressing a square piece of gauze against the cut. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Eh, Thursday?"

"Do you know where you are?"

"The Behemoth."

Steve nods and, with a lopsided smile, asks, "And are you a patron or did you and your head injury just wander onto the scene?"

Eddie laughs. Loud, merry, and verging on too long. It wasn't even that funny. Steve seems pleased his joke was a success, though. Unless his smile is the uncomfortable kind that one wears when faced with the unhinged. Eddie isn't sure how much blood he's lost.

"No, I, like, my band…" he says, stammering like talking isn't what he does best. Jesus Christ, it's just a hot guy! Eddie has made a fool of himself in front of those plenty of times – no need to get flustered about it. He clears his throat. "We had a gig and, after, at the bar, some guys got into a fight. Got ugly, so we tried to leave, but… alas!" He makes a dramatic sweep of his arm, nearly clocking Steve. Steve expertly ducks away without lessening the pressure on the wound. Eddie soldiers on, not daring to pause lest he lose his steam. Hopefully his burning face is enough of an apology. "Fucker wasn't even aiming for me. He missed his intended target and struck me instead."

"Right. Did you lose consciousness after he hit you?"

"Nope."

"Good. Did you drink tonight?"

"Half a beer, at most."

"Do-"

"Eddie!"

Gareth's nasally voice cuts off Steve's question. The next second, he's materialized beside them with a slightly alarmed expression. "Dude, are you…!"

He trails off, eyes growing into dinner plates. There isn't that much blood, is there?

Steve looks Gareth up and down, a crease between his brows. "Is this your friend?"

"My drummer. Gareth."

Eddie half-expects Steve to demand Gareth leaves so he can do his job in peace, but nope. That kind, calm smile is back. He even gives him one of those little upward-nods 'cool guys' like to do.

"What's up, Gareth? I'm Steve; I'm with the ambulance. Just making sure Eddie won't keel over later tonight."

"Uh huh…" Gareth kneels opposite Steve. He's smiling too, but his is shit eating. Eddie frowns in confusion, because what does Gareth have to be happy about? He was freaking out right after Eddie got hit, but now he's staring at Steve like-

Oh.

He's staring at Steve.

No. Noooooooooo! Oh shit! Oh fuck! Oh why, why has he kept his porn stash in a drawer without a lock all these years?! He can't recollect the reason Gareth opened that particular drawer on that particular day – all Eddie remembers is how Gareth, Jeff, and Marv snickered when he explained the inclusion of the calendar.

That was it, though. They moved on. Sure, there has been the occasional roasting after the fact, but it's not like he hasn't also mocked them for their weird shit. But that's not the point. The point is that Gareth is staring at Steve like he recognizes him.

Gareth's attention flicks toward Eddie. Eddie shakes his head as subtly yet pleadingly as he can. Gareth's grin gobbles down another turd. Eddie makes a valiant effort to explode Gareth's eyeballs with his mind.

"Say…" Gareth turns to Steve. "Have we met?"

"I don't think so. Eddie, do you have a headache?"

"Yeah, man," Eddie says, voice trembling. "Hurts like hell."

"I could've sworn I've seen your face before," Gareth says. "Like, I'm 100% sure."

"Are you dizzy or nauseous?" Steve asks, ignoring Gareth.

"Um, a little dizzy but no nausea?"

"Hmm, okay. Blurred vision or uneven numbness?"

"No."

Steve nods, glancing at his watch. Then, to Eddie’s dismay, he looks at Gareth. "I've never been to this bar before."

"Nono, not here. Somewhere else…"

Steve's lips purse and his brows knit into the most adorable thinking-face Eddie has ever seen. His heart skips a beat, then skips two more as Steve's free hand gently cups Eddie's cheek. The skin catches fire where Steve's gloved fingertips touch it.

"Let me have a look at your pupils…" Steve says, guiding Eddie's face and, holy shit, leaning in close for a better look.

Eddie gulps, half his blood rushing up and the other half down; he squeezes his legs together to prevent the little guy from saying 'hello' to everyone present. His eyes rove over Steve's face. His lips are chapped and the skin on his nose is dry. The nose itself is somewhat crooked. Did he get into a fight between the calendar photoshoot and now, or did they make the nose straighter for the photo? Why would anyone think it necessary to edit a face like this one? Even with its imperfections mere inches away, it's still the handsomest Eddie has seen.

Steve hums. It's a perfectly preserved vinyl. It's a metal festival. It's Eddie's new favorite song.

"Same size but pretty dilated… Keep your eyes open, please." He shines a tiny flashlight into Eddie's eyes before nodding, satisfied. "All right, looks good."

He leans back out of Eddie's space, returning Eddie's ability to breathe, and removes the gauze. His smile tells Eddie that the bleeding has stopped. As great as it is that he won't hemorrhage to death, it also means their encounter is approaching its end.

"You might've seen me at the university campus?" Steve says, fiddling with some plasters; it takes Eddie's horny brain five full seconds to deduce he's talking to Gareth again.

"No-" Gareth freezes, mouth hanging open. His smugness has evaporated. "Actually, I might have? You're a student?"

Steve chuckles as he patches the last of Eddie's cut. "No, but my friends are. None of them own a car, so I end up driving them everywhere. Right, Eddie, I think you're good to recover at home. Unless you feel like you should head to the hospital?"

Great question! Does he? On the one hand: riding in the ambulance with Steve, ensuring a few additional minutes of his lustrous eyes and smooth voice.

On the other hand: hospital bills.

"… no."

"Okay. Do you have anyone who can keep an eye on you?"

Eddie shakes his head. "I live alone."

"Then maybe Gareth could hang around for the next 48 hours?"

"Sure can," Gareth says without hesitating. Eddie's heart swells with affection for him, despite his (failed! Hah!) plot to mortify Eddie to death.

Steve is already packing his medical bag.

"I want you to rest and avoid stressful situations," he tells Eddie. "No alcohol, no recreational drugs, no driving, and no working until you feel completely recovered. You may take tylenol, but not aspirin or ibuprofen. And if your symptoms worsen or you develop new ones – seek medical attention. Got it?"

The last part is sterner, reminding Eddie of every male authority figure he's strived to disobey during his teenage years. He has no such desire this time.

"Got it."

Steve raises his eyebrows as if to say 'have you really?', and Eddie has to wonder if it's he who seems contrariant and/or stupid enough to ignore the medic or if this is something Steve does with every patient. If it's the former, he mustn't seem that contrariant, because Steve's features soften into trust. He stands, brushing dust off his knees.

"Great. You boys take care now. Have a nice night."

"Yeah, you too, man," Eddie calls after him weakly as he retreats to the blinking ambulance. "Thanks…"

He keeps his gaze on the broad expanse of Steve's back, soaking in the rippling of his muscles as he walks and, oh would you look at that, his ass is as nice as the rest of him. Eddie's been wondering for two years now…

"Dude!"

Eddie jerks toward Gareth. Did he say that out loud? Did he drool? Is his boner showing? But no, Gareth isn't disgusted or disturbed – he's excited.

Shit.

He'll never hear the end of this.

"Don't!" he hisses.

Gareth just laughs, eyes twinkling.

"That was-"

"Don't!"

"I can't believe it!"

"Gareth-"

"You are so red right now!"

"For Jesus fucking Christ's fucking sake-"

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Dedicated to @rougenancy for always listening to and encouraging my various thoughts, opinions, and ideas (they are constant).

Part 2

AO3

#me combining paramedic!steve with model!steve? it's more likely than you think #no need to tell me i'm a genius – i already know it #steddie #steddie fanfic #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington #eddie munson #gareth stranger things #it's not important but i named the third guy 'marvin'#because i think he looks like one #this is part one out of [undecided]#i'll be winging it in the middle so that'll be fun #my writing #steddie fic: november paramedic

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mistresscitrusslice · 18 days ago

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The Season 2 Opening. We Must Discuss.

First of all, small beans. Instead of static, lifeless statues, this time we get moving humans. Mel features significantly more than I expected, so she'll probably be a much more major character than I expected for a non-champion character and I'm so happy for her. I believe the use of moving people instead of statues signifies that immense change will be happening. What we thought was literally set in stone in Season 1 will be turned on its head in Season 2.

Okay, on to the really concerning matters.

Yuhuh. Jinx moves too fast for me to get a good screenshot, but she gestures like this around her face a lot. I think we all already know about the Caitlyn-Jinx parallels, but my sister suggests it could be a red herring for the actual resemblances she has to Silco.

Sis gets credit for the following observation, but Caitlyn's daydream sequences about shooting Jinx are controlled and clearly separated from reality unlike Jinx's.

However, sis has not seen ep 2 yet, where Caitlyn does have that moment in the arcade where she shoots her vision of Jinx among the wooden dummies. Not only does this more closely resemble Jinx's hallucinations, it also parallels Jinx shooting the harmless crow in s1 e5. By the time the strike squad are about to leave, she can clearly tell that what she thought might be Jinx was really just a harmless wooden standee. Startling, but harmless. She shoots it anyway.

Caitlyn is totally gonna spiral more, and maybe she'll start losing her grip on reality too, but for now, she has more in common with Silco than she does with Jinx. Did anyone else get reminded of Silco's coat when Ambessa put the supervillain cape on Caitlyn? The collars don't look similar but they still eerily resemble each other, you get me?

Ok back to intro stuff

Vi wipes off her name from her face. That's two tattoos that are rendered impermanent in this opening theme. In the Fenty x Arcane video, they mention that Mel's golden freckles are tattoos. Later in the intro song, we also see her golden freckles gone. Change, impermanence. That seems to be a theme here.

Vi is literally erasing her name from her face. In any normal circumstance, I'd say that means she wants a change of identity, a desire to start over. However, I know that Vi's League lore involves amnesia. Does she really drink herself into that bad of a stupor? Jkjk. I assumed that her amnesia was replaced by the Stillwater imprisonment to explain how she got topside and with the enforcers, but perhaps I was wrong. Maybe they do still intend to go the amnesia or partial amnesia route with her.

The teasers implied that Vi shares the genetic trait that has Jinx predisposed to hallucinations. It's possible that this eventually contributes to her loss of memory, but I wouldn't call it quite yet. However, if this happens during her emo era when I'm assuming she has no support system, she'll be very vulnerable, unlike if it were to happen while she was still partnered with Caitlyn, in which case they could easily fill in most blanks in her memory.

I have no idea what to make of this. It's clear as day what they're paralleling, but why? Why the flashlight scene? My best guess is that they're trying to draw on déjà vu, implying a repetition of history, but why this particular moment? They could've easily chosen anything else in Jayce's s1 arc. He has many more memorable moments than this. Let's see, I'm literally making this up as I go.

This meeting was a pivotal moment for Jayce. Both his meeting with Viktor and his meeting with Mel changed his fate. The Viktor one is pretty self-explanatory, but without meeting Mel, they would've both just gotten exiled or locked up again. With Mel, they had someone in power who could vouch for them.

That begs the question, is Jayce meeting someone new? Or is this a reintroduction to someone he's already known before, a new meeting after a long time apart or after a significant change, maybe a change in them both. I believe it must be someone who was involved in the original hallway scene.

Jayce is either looking at Mel again or at Viktor. Given the amount of Viktor/Mel parallels in Season 1, I believe Jayce is looking at Viktor after he's undergone his likely final evolution. That'll obviously be another pivotal moment for him... but will it be a good one like it was with Mel? Viktor has power now. He's performing miracles. He's, like, two steps away from parting the Pilt River like it's the Red Sea. He seems to hold a grudge against Jayce, though, for *checks notes* saving his life? Jk I know he feels like he's losing autonomy and like Jayce didn't respect his wishes with the Hexcore and Jayce obviously couldn't let Viktor die when he'd fought so hard to stay alive before.

Anyway, I feel like this could easily be both a good omen and a bad omen for Jayce. More than anything, I feel like it'll be an epiphany. He is quite literally seeing the light. The light at the end of the dark tunnel? The light of the heavens at the end of his life? The light of a revelation sent by a god he once knew as a man?

Seeing Mel screaming bloody murder during the opening, this was the first place my mind went to. The pose doesn't match up exactly, and Jinx/Powder's screams are definitely wilder, but I feel like there's definitely something here. Is there anyone else who screams like this, thrusting their head forward and keeping their arms back?

We also see the shadow hands from this earlier shot:

I'm thinking of the Black Rose (is that their name?) kidnapping her in thin air, incorporeal hands reaching at her and snatching my joy the love of my life Mel away. It could also represent people grasping at the power Mel wields, both as the wealthiest Council member and as a Noxian princess, one of the closest people to Ambessa, the one wielding the most power right now.

Mel is really out of her depth right now. Her power and influence is up for grabs if she dares to blink and let her guard down. I'm also surprised that we don't see her fight back at all when there's danger around. I thought she might have more battle experience as she was raised by Ambessa. For those people wondering about her magical powers, I think she would've used them by now if she had them. Council attack aside, which could've been Viktor's magic, she wasn't able to do anything about the memorial attack or her own kidnapping. I think they're trying to show us that Mel is not as untouchable as she presents herself. Under the right circumstances, she's just as vulnerable as any civilian.

The sliver of light? My sister pointed out that it looks just like the crack of light between two double doors. Almost closed... or barely open? It appears in pretty much everyone's shot in the opening, but it's right down the center of Mel's face here. Is she torn between two sides? Is this about an impossible choice she has to make?

The spotlight is also on her. That's two sources of light. It looks like a red sun. All eyes on her as the surviving voice of the Council?

And her expression... shock, fear, horror. The heavy breathing, the look on her face... I feel eerily like I've seen it on someone else before. I can't place who, but I'm getting déjà vu from this. Does anyone else recognize this expression and these mannerisms?

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anantaru · 2 years ago

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— telling him “we need to talk”

including childe, gorou, alhaitham, scaramouche x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, crack, childe's part is a bit sad, we‘re evil, they're panicking

— childe

"oh! and one last thing." you pause, luring a deep gulp of air through your snagged throat, "can you come over tonight? we need to talk."

correspondingly, childe groggily rubbed his eyes and frowned at the wearisome remembrance of your previous accursed encounter— it just couldn't leave him alone, that constricted gruff of panic.

the words you had spoken out earlier were continuing to peskily repeat themselves through his psyche, again and again— like a virus progressively taking over its host— and it did, wretchedly slow, even after he finished a couple more salient tasks of his work.

did something happen between you both? or did he unintentionally do something he should be aware of but isn't?

nowadays, he had been abundantly occupied with carrying on the crucial duties as the eleventh fatui harbinger, essentially the befalling of the various nations all around teyvat in search of the enigmatic gnosis.

consequently, ajax would go on about balancing his private life together with his work in a notably strategic way. He had always made it a habit to keep the serious out of your relationship, though now he was debating wether or not that was your last straw.

because you see, ajax was convinced you'd actually dump him tonight.

so, well, under those circumstances, yeah, it's fine, he's fine, or wasn't he? after all he couldn't force you to stay, maybe, he's joking, perhaps.

he gave himself a second to rewind his rational thinking in search of a breakout from this state of affairs but instead, a rising silence befell his mind and he couldn't concentrate for the life of him.

by that means, childe was inordinately nervous and a dizzying sense of anxiety had been manifesting from inside out— his breathing too, had become nimble, he felt as if someone had been suddenly suffocating him with a giant plastic bag over his head.

and then presently, there he was.

without a way to escape he was soon trapped in between the door and your body when he closed it shut behind him. You had made him follow you to the living room— your face, without a doubt, undisturbed and calculative which didn't make the appalling situation any better, due to this action his dreadful judgment prevailed over him much more unyielding.

he began to hatch a plot; because if he manipulates his emotions good enough while bamboozling himself over and over that he was in fact, okay, he'll maybe not suffer from an integral cardiac arrest after this blood curdling conversation.

for a brief period of time childe had been wholly iced to the ground, awaiting your voice. You turned around to face him, silence, a long and grueling five seconds of unbroken staring when you in confusion, pucker your brows together, "what's with you?"

he was overcome by a flat sense of both irritation and surprise at how casual you sounded, "w— what?" childe didn't mean to stutter out his words like that, but his voice was still distressfully stricken.

"you seem sick." you note, directly holding your hand towards his face to keep it on top of his forehead, a flicker of concern eroding inwardly, childe winced at that and he bleeds into your touch, it was alleviating and he missed it, "no fever."

your apprehensive tone faded when you hastened to follow up your words, "i'm glad, because there's this thing i need your help with." you press yourself into his body, "it's a present for a family member." with your lips instantly split into a humane smile, you settled to tease him, ruffling his hair a bit.

childe thought this had to be some kind of metaphysical fantasy he had been trapped in the moment he entered your home, could he be hallucinating or did dottore really mix something into his orange juice earlier?

one of the first couple skills he had learned in the fatui was to always keep a clear head, yet right now he didn't have the time to even recompose himself nor did he realize that he‘s been standing in front of you without moving an inch— it‘s as if he was currently deciphering a difficult secret riddle in his mind and wholly forgot about your presence.

ultimately, you had caught up on the panic and the unintentional perpetual twitch in his eyes, "hey." a sigh of relief, so soft yet it brought him to tears, he felt your hand shelter his once more, the tone on his face grew a bit lower and delicate— a little more allayed.

without trying to conceal his worry now, childe responds clearly to you, "i thought i did something." he blurted out— barely, his throat was still clenched and a continuing dread thudded in his heart.

his eyes widened and a light bead of sweat formed just above his browbone. The thought that you might‘ve broken up with him vehemently churned and wrecked a deep havoc in his gut, it almost had him see white of terror.

you saw the glint of fear— the panic, and closed the distance of your bodies, wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him close, "you didn‘t." the sound of your voice seized his heart and he breathed out a shaking heave.

"because you‘re perfect to me."

as an instinctive counter, his eyes squinted a little of a bigger smile and a shadow of boundless solace stamped in his veins. effectively, he can breathe easily now— be that as it may but for childe to purely envision a skid second without you by his side hurt him so much, if the control of his body hadn't been as well trained by him as it was, he'd tremble into your enfold.

"i‘m sorry." you patted his warm, rosy cheek with a kiss, "i didn't mean to make you feel this way." the tepidity of your eyes felt like the sun buzzing on a sweet summer day, "don't apologize." he stated and swallowed hard, returning your hug.

"i love you." he's leaning his face against your head and closed his eyes shut, "i love you too, ajax." a tear— just one, was then glissading down his cheek at your well spoken words, .

— gorou

"gorou, we need to talk, i finally made up my mind."

talk about what? the great weather on watasumi island?

meanwhile gorou nearly lost what little self restraint he had left in his soul— his right ear repeatedly twitching and serving as a bodily response. However, the way he had acknowledged the teeny tiny letter in his hand in the first place— with the disreputable words frumpily scrabbled on top of it with a black pencil, was largely concerning, he realized.

gorou didn't move for a couple seconds and remained by his own company— in silence, now his eyes grew a tone darker, because he was beginning to feel sick to his stomach, precisely the lower area, a stormy tornado of panic exuberantly nagging on the base of his spine.

what was it that he did because there must've been something he had to mess up if you're handling the situation in that precise way.

fundamentally speaking, (and that was the most irritating component in this whole situation) for you, to not say it out right away but rather have a hand written letter sent over to his office— it's ambiguous, everything turned out to be like a complete mess and he was a part of it.

to say he was both bewildered and crushed combined into one heavy ball of perplexing emotions was a restrained statement. Because truthfully, he was on the brink of a mental breakdown, his face was now hiding in his palms while he leaned further into the desk.

"it's over." he's talking under his own breathing, "that must be the case!"

if you have figured out one thing about your boyfriend— it was that he had a habit of talking to himself whenever he was pressurized by an crucial mission or something was simply bothering him.

he (himself) stated that it was an eminent way of analyzing his scattered thoughts and bring down all meaningless components should there be any at hand.

having said that, you would mentally applaud him because gorou was a genius, it was a great way— while not the one that would be of any need to him right now.

he decided to go all out and search for you— from his perspective, there wasn't any other way. Gorou had previously decoded that you must've been at your home by now, his work wasn't far off anyways so he could show up any time— yet unannounced but this was an emergency, he noted.

for gorou there wasn't anything more important than his relationship with you, it was a part he'd protect vigorously, yet if you were to dump him tonight, that's a different story because then he wouldn't know what to do nor how to retaliate.

considering that, he had been vastly comfortable with you to the point that he simply cannot envision a life without you by this side.

so, yes, maybe that's why he was so tense and anxious moving forward to your home. Little does he realize it wasn't quite how he had imagined it because truth was, gorou didn't do anything wrong.

you see, for a while now, you had been greatly pondering with the thought on your living situation, after all, you had been a couple for a long time and moving in together was the next designated step to be taken.

resultantly you had talked about this with gorou, yet only once and the timing wasn't the best either. If it was for him, he had long since forgotten it, in any other occasion he was a great listener and infallibly did his best to memorize whatever important topic you had to say to him.

but as an automatic result of the miscommunication taking place, gorou had visualized how he thought the conversation would end up, it being with you dumping him for good.

on the other side of the coin there was you, so very happy you could barely wait to tell him that you want to finally approach the next step and move in together.

the moment you let him into your home, you, as always, you greeted him with a kind hug which caught him completely off guard, obviously he wasn't expecting it. You knew your boyfriend very much, so when you saw him in the composition he was currently in, you almost gasped out loud by the terror.

his eyes were sunken and he seemed a bit pale, his ears too, were pointing downwards and that frown on him— together with his ragged breathing made you realize that something wasn't on their designated place. "hey." you approach him gently, "did something happen at work?"

his muscles stiffed and he thought about the words he had planned out to say, repeatedly they had thudded into his skull but nothing arose off his throat. You watched him closely and his gaze softened when you decided to hug him once more, this time with your lips ghosting over his ears, "it's okay, you're home now gorou."

"home?" granted, he couldn't place any fault on you for his own too quick thinking or his habits of jumping to conclusion when it came to this relationship, gorou wasn't the most experienced in that peculiar department after all. "our— our home?!"

"yes!" you're quick to show your happiness to him, your eyes glowing with brilliant shades of delight.

"that's what i wanted to talk about, i was busy preparing everything so Ii couldn't visit you in person." you fleetly pecked his cheek, "i hope it was okay to send a letter instead."

gorou was stunned— bewildered, he thought his ears fell off. "wait." he's taking both of your hands in his to make you stare at him, "this it what you wanted to talk about all along?" your brow ploddingly arose at his way of speech, because you were still very much clueless about it all.

"what did you think i was going to say?" at this rate, your conversation would never end anytime soon. gorou fidgetily scratched his neck before he chirped his words out in a blabbering draw no one but you was able to discern.

"oh nothing special, ijustthoughtyourebreakingupwithme." you were rendered speechless— lost of words and you placed a mental sticker in the deepest ends of your brain to get better at spelling things out more clear.

your eyes formed of sadness and you felt bad, trying to soothe your boyfriend in your own ways, "why would i?" you humorously squeezed his cheeks in a strive to delete his troubled expression, smiling in a loving kind, "i'd never do that, ever."

— alhaitham

beyond the shadow of a doubt, becoming the acting grand sage was an astonishingly tedious task for alhaitham to take— and he did not look forward to it.

unquestionably it was apparent that he wouldn't potentially have as much time for you as he previously had when he was the akademiya's renowned scribe. In spite of his new occupation, you undeniably had supported him throughout the first stages as much as you could.

but, lets say, you had felt a bit neglected lately— or to state said emotion in a contrasting light, you were in need of some much required attention from your boyfriend, plain and simple. Of course— and this usually goes without saying but it's not like alhaitham did it on purpose because, by all means, he didn't.

there wasn't anything he'd like to do as much as leisurely resting on his cozy bed with you by his side, cushily enclosed in your arms while you play with his hair and talking about all kinds of topics at hand.

with it becoming worse, it followed that he rarely had time to come over for dinner anymore, sure, you had your own duties to be taken care of but you missed him so so dearly and weren't sure how else to get him to move his unwavering attention from his work to your sweet frame again.

though your approach seemed a bit evil, you realized. but wasn't your creative thinking one of the reasons alhaitham had fallen in love with you in the first place?

to accurately get your plan in motion, you had sent an overly prettily framed letter to his new office— you added your favorite symbols to the paper and used your best-loved colors to have it cross your boyfriends keen eyes the second it would land on his desk.

under those circumstances you had impatiently began to wait at your place for him to get to you. And he did see your letter glowing in midst all the important papers on his desk, bedazzled by your most dearest decorations.

alhaitham slanted his head a bit to the left when he caught a glimpse of it eventually— he was a bit puzzled at first because whenever you did require his cooperation you'd just show up in person. But then again, in recent times he had his hands full of work and you arguably wouldn't even meet him to begin with.

his fingers gingerly opened the fine letter to scrutinize the words at hand, "we need to talk, it's about us."

he was taken aback, very, and caught off balance. He didn't view you as someone who'd send cryptic messages like that one in particular. Alhaitham distressfully rubbed his eyes and placed the letter on his desk above all the other workloads he had gotten delivered today.

upon that, he leaned into the broad armchair and careened his head back, closing his eyes. In that peculiar state he might potentially arrange and categorize his thoughts more coherent. The last thing he would've wanted now was to have your relationship suffer because of his current job.

first, it's dreary, second, it would throw him off completely.

while alhaitham had a dozen more work to finish before he could routinely head home, he decided to go to your place instead to talk it out. In his opinion, pushing back a much needed conversation would only elude his rational thinking skills by a huge mountain of precious time. it would've been obtuse for him to not handle this.

deep wrinkles were forming around his brows when he knocked on your door, his eyes fixated with worry but also irritation. On the flip side alhaitham was also concerned that something might've happened to you without him being aware of it.

another knock and you had lastly opened the door to your home, with a pseudo sad frown on your lips, maybe that was your ticket to great evilness because you did feel a bit wicked for tricking your poor, overworked boyfriend like that.

he doesn't say much, a dreadful silence of a couple minutes had surrounded the atmosphere and the inches in between your frames. A direct steady approach hadn't been found before he decided to speak at last, though heedful. "i saw your letter." he remarked through a clenched jaw.

"you did?" you slowly turned around and simulated to shuffle something out of a drawer in your kitchen— pretending to make a cup of tea for you both. "yes, i did." alhaitham might be many things, but he wasn't stupid, he knew something wasn't adding up, at all.

at first note, there was your body responses, despite your d class acting skills you were still showing emotions that weren't classified as sad nor angered. Second, it felt as if you didn't even know what to say, more thoroughly did you appear to just like him being here because why else were you settling a cup of tea and would you look at this, a few pastries he was sure were freshly bought.

"do you want me to applaud to you?" his voice was dry but despite that it harvested a glint of humor, "for this performance, i mean."

you bit down on the mushy insides of your cheeks before turning around, "i don't know what you're talking about." there you stood with an empty cup in your hand when he resoluted to walk towards you, haltering himself when he reached your body. "you wanted to talk." his hand finds your cheek and banteringly nudges it, "then talk."

you avert your gaze to recollect your thinking, because truthfully you did not expect him to catch onto it that fast— plus, you could also say you didn't think too far ahead into the future as on what to do once he's actually there.

"okay, okay." you dramatically throw your hands in the air, "i pretended to be mad so you'd show up." silence, "because i missed you." before you could hide the embarrassment with your hands alhaitham had swiftly bolstered one of his arms around your waist to pull you into his chest, "I know."

"can you blame me though?" you tried to explain yourself through your shy smiles which he had found so so very adorable, "you're never home." you lay your cheek against his warm chest to reply with a cuddle back and alhaitham sighed out when he beheld your distressfulness— how much he longed for his calm days to return.

"i know." he idly pawed his hand over your spine, "i can't wait to be the scribe again." you quietly shake with laugher at his words, the sides of your lips creasing up, "though i have to admit." you suddenly state while blinking up into his multi colored eyes, "saying my boyfriend is the grand sage doesn't sound that bad."

he's amusingly shook his head and found himself deeply connected in your arms— though being wary of the entire settling of today, alhaitham's sadness resigned back into him, he realizing that the last time he had held you just like this had have been a long time ago.

for this, he couldn't wait to get back to his usual, comfortable life with you again because no matter which position he'd take in the akademiya, he'd never want to place you second under it because it was you who truly gave new meaning to his life.

— scaramouche

working in the shadows had been something scaramouche was practicing his entire life, he‘s as fast-moving as the wind, a split second and he was gone, poof, unforeseen and brief.

substantially, you weren‘t quite sure what made you reach the conclusion to perpetually poke your finger into his hardiness, over and over— to sweetly aggravate him because it’s fun. especially when he had gotten back to you after a long, monotonous day full of his duties to fulfill.

on the assumption that nothing was wrong, kuni, as in any other circumstance, had saddled back into the couch with you next to him— actively observing how you’re casually paging through a couple letters in your hand.

"hey." in the pitch of his voice alone you were capable to discern the fatigue in his body— he must‘ve been especially hard working tonight.

"put the book away." undoubtedly, it was that time of the day again, scaramouche required your unwavering attention because if you aren't handing it over to him right this second, he'd become actually ballistic and sullen, waiting until you notice.

"hm." you do not say much, pretending to have something critical crossing your current state of mind, "what do you mean hm?" he's peeved by your behavior— despite that it piqued his interest.

you evidently weren't drained or disgruntled by his presence, at least he thought you weren't, "is this more important than i am?" scaramouche loftily pointed towards the book in your hand which you then, meteorically closed.

"there is something—" you do not dare to look into his permeating eyes, being panicky stricken you might blow your cover in front of him. Kuni had a way of heeding every so little change in both the articulation in your voice and face.

"there is something we need to talk about— about us."

scaramouche didn't buy it, not even once, you were too perceptible and easy to detect.

what was there to talk about when nothing happened, in the morning you seemed fine, you even gave him a goodbye kiss when he left for work. "really now?" he's sharpening his eyes on you, his chin held up high to throw you off the high in your conversation and most pivotally, to make you all jittery so you‘d eventually slip up.

"yes." you outstandingly flumped back into the velvety cushions of your couch, "we're just so different." - "no we're not." he was right there to cut you off, giving you no room to breathe while also slouching closer to your frame so you‘d look at him.

without beating around the bush, scaramouche decided to play this game with you, though in his eyes, he was way better at this than you could ever be, "but we are." now coming across at him through distinct eyes, you sealed your lips together so you wouldn‘t suddenly burst out laughing.

in a wink of an eye he had edged himself so near to you— with only being a mere couple inches away from banging your heads together, "are you playing games again?" he really wanted to know it now, fundamentally, scaramouche was captivated by this— he never loses and this side of yours would never bore him, not even once.

"maybe." you blurt out bluntly, affectionately wiggling the tip of your nose against his own, "you're a menace." he rolls his eyes and pulls away. with how swift you were to follow him, you put your legs over his lap so you‘d be dotingly enclosed into one another. "don't do that again."

sweet scaramouche— what he didn't show you was that he in actuality shared a concern in result of your behavior. All things considered he was aware you were kidding to rally him up. He thinks your skills were amateurish at best, whimsical, he hoped you were practicing your acting to once really catch him off guard.

"it's so fun though." you brusquely admitted to him with a candid smile while venturing to case your arms around his neck.

if only he wasn‘t so utterly compelled by you he‘d actually be mad for once, yet he only puffs out a warm heave, "i'll get you back for this."

5K notes · View notes

noira-l · 3 months ago

Text

Just the Two of Us

chapter summary: a nice summer day, just what you needed... why is Satoru looking at you like that?

pairing: gojo satoru x f!sorcerer reader

wc: 6,6k

warnings: fluff, slightly kinda suggestive?, blind to love, slight mentioning of sexual activity, spoilers (manga, anime, movie).

author's note: a pleasent day with satoru that is definitly not in love, you are definitly just his "partner", and he definitly don't want to kiss you ;*

s.masterlist

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐 '𝐖𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐫(𝐞)𝐚𝐤𝐞'

Satoru yawned with fatigue. It was his 3rd day without sleep, during these miserable days: he had pursued the curse that kept eluding him, solved the problem of the cursed object locked in the wall of the mountain, and additionally travelled half the country to find the cursed womb that was registered, to his misfortune it arrived as it hatched and he had to fight it.

All he dreamt about now, was going to bed and get some sleep.

"Why did you stop, Ijichi?" he asked, tipping his head to glance in his direction. Satoru was now on his way home, the road was getting awfully long, it was late at night, and besides, Ijichi didn't seem to be in much of a hurry.

"We have to wait for someone," he announced in a trembling voice. He still didn't know if this was a good idea, he hadn't been given official orders from above, and yet he obeyed. Satoru furrowed his brow in astonishment.

"If anyone would like to see me, have them make an appointment with my secretary, preferably after I've slept a bit. I'm not in the mood for it" he was getting weary and it was no surprise to anyone. Maybe he could get out of this car before this person arrived?

Suddenly, he heard the boot open and immediately afterwards, someone forcefully opened the door. shit, too late.

"Hello Satoru~" you said in a cheerful voice getting into the car with your backpack. You glanced at his face. "Surprised to see me?" you asked.

You knew that this nightly sneaking out could have serious consequences, but at that moment, you totally didn't give a damn.

"Quite a lot." he replied "What do I honour this visit with? Higher-ups have sent us on missions again? How wonderful" his voice was tired, but still gravelly and bored to the point of pain. Looking at him, you are unable to tell how many days he has been without sleep.

"Well not this time." you replied "We're going on holiday." you said it with a smile, as if it wasn't you at all.

"Ee- what?" he probably couldn't have been more confused. He was too tired to process it.

"You hear right." you started to pull something out of your backpack "Ijichi, to the train station!" you said it quite loudly. Gojo didn't know if he was dreaming or already hallucinating, it had been a long time since he had seen you so happy. A packet of sweets appeared in your hand, you reached out, to hand it to him with a sly smile.

Apparently that was enough to make Satoru shut up and focus his attention on something other than complaining. He was tired enough that he didn't want to pursue the subject. And your presence made him go on autopilot and not care about anything as long as you were close and full of strength.

You knew the mission was hard for him, especially as he was silent the whole way to the station, eating the sweets you had bought him. All the way from the station to the small village where you had a rented a cottage, Satoru slept, resting his head on your shoulder. When you got off, you just had to drag him with your luggage for some time, but you managed to endure it.

He really was like a child sometimes, you stated as you opened the door and threw your luggage on the floor. It took about 20 minutes before you'd got your head around everything, in which Gojo managed to slide off the couch you'd arranged him on. Fortunately, all that was left was to put him to bed, which you had done more than once, you had experience of managing him in his almost dead-sleeping state when he returned from a mission. This activity, without you being surprised, took the least amount of time. You both found yourselves in your pyjamas, snuggled together on a nice and cool bed.

----

Satoru was slightly awake, not wanting to open his eyes, he started to adjust the pillow under his head. He tried to arrange it a few times, each time it didn't work out the way he wanted this pillow doesn't arrange like the ones I bought last year.

Then it dawned on him that he wasn't in his bed. He opened his crystal blue eyes to looked around the room. It was definitely not his bedroom. He furrowed his brow, lifting himself off the pillow completely, finally connecting the dots in his head and remembering what had happened.

You took him on holiday. That much he managed to remember.

After his morning visit in toilet, he head to the kitchen, following a pleasantly sweet smell.

There you stood, in a summer dress he had never seen before, arranging various desserts and many types of sweet bread on a large, decorated tray.

"Good morning, how did you sleep?" you sensed his presence immediately, besides you also heard him going to the bathroom.

The white-haired man looked around the kitchen and the connected dining room. Everything was clean, neat, well decorated, you could feel the atmosphere of the countryside and the remoteness from the city. This house looked like one where one could truly relax.

"Well, I finally got some sleep. This chasing of curses is such a pain." he sighed straightening his limbs after sleeping.

Just then you put the trays of baked goods on the table "I'm glad, I asked my friend to buy us fresh baked goods in the morning, I didn't think he would bring so many." you giggled clearly embarrassed. That's not what I had in mind, when I asked him for variety.

Satoru sat down on a chair, crossing his legs. ''And why are we even here? Not that I'm complaining, I'm happy when my wife visits me at work and then takes me out into unfamiliar territory when I'm practically asleep...but it's not in your style."

You sighed as you poured portions of fresh juice into your glasses. He's been calling you his wife more and more lately, and you wonder if this is getting under one of his taunts.

"I've decided we need a holiday. Both of us. Away from everything for a while." you said putting your glasses on the table.

"Megumi?" he looked concerned.

"With Shoko" you answered. Satoru noded in understanding.

"Back to the topic. It's well known if we're gone for a long time, the world will come crashing down after all, so I told the higher-ups that we're just going on a weekend of well-deserved rest." Satoru started laughing, your head turned towards him.

"You're joking. They'll probably find out now by questioning Ijichi where we are." he took one of the baked goods in his hand. As soon as he bit into it a wave of flavour spread over his tongue. Wonderful.

"Well no, I payed them a visit myself." you sat down close to him, he reached for his glass at the time "I expressed my opinions on some things and said we were going on holiday." Satoru listened intently unable to believe a bit of what he was hearing. Since when did you stop being so conciliatory?

"Of course, they didn't agree at first. Stubborn, old fools." you mumble the last part "For two days of our absence, the world won't collapse, come on." you took a cupcake yourself "Besides, I said that if they tried to stop us, their walls would have a new, more hmm.. purple colour." you bit into the baked goods and he almost choked on his juice.

Are you capable of such things? Yes, you are, he knew that. He knew you enough to also know, that you avoid such solutions and consider them a last resort. Unlike him.

"I'm sick and tired of them bossing us all the time, treating us like their property. If you wanted to, you could smash them with one finger and you wouldn't even break a sweat, they know it well, and yet, we let them get on our heads too much." you drank a glass of your juice.

Satoru was still silent, his eyes glancing once at you and then another sweet roll on the tray. You're probably right, he's been more stressed lately, the pressure is overwhelming, it's taking its toll on your relationship. It spoils the blood not only for him, but also for you, who also have to deal with them when he's not around. Although it doesn't matter now, these two days should pretty much reset him, bringing him back to his open to fun and confident self.

Damn. He is indeed too serious lately.

Fortunately, here with you, he can relax and let himself be carried away by the programme you have planned for him, because he knew you had something planned. You handled such things well, unlike him. His speciality was spontaneity and unscripted decisions.

"So what's the agenda for today, sweetie?" he said while shoving another sweet roll into himself, not wanting to pursue the uncomfortable topic any further. It was his sixth roll somehow.

"I'll explain. A friend of mine is coming over in an hour or so, he's going to give us bikes and we're going to ride around, I've got a couple of spots we might like. And tomorrow we will go to the hot springs and then I have a surprise planned for you." you replied with a wide smile pleased with the plan. Gojo was happy with it too. "I want to have fun." you smiled to yourself.

"So a bike tour, huh? Just don't complain if I leave you behind or your legs hurt, we both know I'm faster." another cupcake was in his hand. who makes such yummy food?

"I have one more thing for you, a request actually."

"Hm?" he paused devouring a sweet roll to look at you. His white hair were still messy and his crystal eyes aroused, from the amount of sugar he had consumed. There was frosting from the baked goods at the corner of his mouth, and scattered crumbs on his bare chest and belly.

Does he always have to look captivating in all conditions?

"This trip is because we both need a break from our duties. And this trip is primarily for you, Satoru.'' he looked at you as if you were a freak, and it was him that the strawberry filling fell on his stomach.

"Duh~ Of course even the strongest need a break. They think this perfection keeps itself going?" he said scooping the filling from his skin with his finger, licking the contents as soon as he put his finger around his mouth.

"Please listen." you looked at him seriously "This holiday is not because 'the strongest needs a break', no." You got up from your chair and quickly walked over to the linen bag hanging on the chair, pulling something out of it and tucking it behind your back, walking over to him again. "This trip is because Satoru needs a break." you stood next to him, placing your hand on the back of the chair behind him.

Your other hand revealed a pair of round, dark, blue tinted glasses.

You both knew what those glasses were. They had belonged to him back in his high school days, the exact pair you had once taken from him during training as a trophy for beating him in melee training. Six eyes was shocked when you knocked him to the ground. You used trickery of course, but you didn't set the rules, so the prize was yours. Now he's surprised too, at how good a condition they're in, and that you kept them at all.

You found them recently in one of the boxes you were afraid to look in, because all the stuff from your dorm was there, including Suguru's stuff. But you'd been cleaning recently and decided you should finally do something with it. That's where you noticed the pair of glasses that were lying right on top. There were some other things besides, but you didn't pay any attention to them anymore. These glasses reminded you so much of the good old days, that you just stood there for a few minutes in thought, simply holding them in your hands. They reminded you of all the beautiful moments, hardships and fun you had as a teenager, even though you spent most of your time with Suguru, Gojo also fulfilled some small role in your life back then - when he wasn't teasing you - of course.

It dawned you. That's right! Fun! You closed the cabinet, taking only that item, running to your computer to start planning everything.

"So for the duration of this trip, I'd like you to be exclusively yourself. Not 'the strongest', not 'Six Eyes', not 'the greatest sorcerer of modern era'. No. Please." he parted his lips slightly, his face expressing a lot of emotion as you put your glasses on his nose.

"Just be Satoru. That's all you need to be for me." a gentle smile dawned on your face.

You glanced at him from a little further away. "Look at you, you haven't changed a bit." you brushed his hair with your hand gently. Indeed, he looked the same as he did in his school days, only his boyish features had matured over time. Those are still the same blue eyes that made you dizzy, whenever you tried to focus and glance deeply into them. You noticed something.

Why is he blushing?

Why does his face look like that?

After a long moment, in which his eyes completely failed to leave yours, he burst out laughing. He corrected himself in his chair, at the same time putting his foot back on the floor.

In one swift movement, his hands grasped your figure, making you sit sideways on his lap. His face moved dangerously close to yours, one of his hands was on your back, the other on your exposed thigh.

What is he doing?

You were surprised at how easily he was able to seat you and with what gentleness his arms embrace you. His hand moved from your thigh to his nose, as he lowered his glasses to look at you. His eyes literally scanned yours, your bewildered face beginning to take on colour, a little more and that deeply hidden blush would come out into the world.

"Only if this miserable girl from my class joins me too, heh." his shit-eating grin made you hot. Your heartbeat drowned out your thoughts for a moment.

Wait - what did he call you?

You gave him a gentle nudge, standing up from him, pouting.

"Idiot."

His retch filled the silence completely.

----

The forest through which you passed seemed endless. Beautiful colours surrounded you all over. The perfect weather only accentuated them. You drove a little uphill the mountains, sun peeking out from behind the leaves, leaving glowing glimpses on the forest road.

Satoru was riding ahead of you, not holding the steering wheel with his hands at all. His legs holding the bike frame were enough for him. You wondered if he was even looking at the road, he had his phone in his hand, playing some kind of mobile game. Occasionally he would stop with a squeal of brakes, to take a picture of what was a nicer bit of terrain. The real revelation was, when he spotted a bird playing with a stick a few good metres away; you didn't notice it, but he had his eyes and a pretty good zoom on his camera.

However, you had been on straight road for a while, so his full attention was focused on the phone. You came up with a slightly crazy idea. You made sure that your backpack and the contents of your basket were well secured, and then you started to speed up rapidly. You passed him very quickly. When you were in his line of sight, you showed him your tongue and continued your fast ride far ahead of him.

He quickly tucked the phone away, you had caught his attention enough, that he saw your haste as a challenge.

You don't know how long it took you to race him. You could say that you quite matched his pace, overtaking him every now and then, or he was gaving you a head start, there was that option too. You didn't want to let go too easily, although you were slowly running out of strength, you were glad that your cursed energy was helping a bit with that. Sometimes he tried to disturb you, for example: trying to poke your cheek, he had long enough arms to reach easily. You did not remain indebted to him, by trying to ride close enough to him, that you had to step back slightly.

This situation was no different. You overtook him again, this time quite a bit, you turned around when you noticed that he didn't manage to overtake you. His smile was the same one you remembered from the better days of your high school. His whole look was practically the same, you're sure it's a matter of those glasses.

Was he the same? It was hard to tell. You thought for a bit and stopped looking at the road.

Quickly turning your head to notice a pretty big turn. Really close to you.

“Shi-” you had already prepared for the fact that you might fall off a cliff. You already wanted to use your technique, when suddenly something pulled you back with considerable power. Your back hit something. The white-haired man pulled you towards him with the whole bike, a couple of meters away from the turn, completely stopping you in the process.

“Did you just use your blue on me?” you asked, quite shocked.

He answered you nothing and silence, you couldn't read his smile. Without a word, he rode quickly away from you gaining a murderous pace, ringing his bike bell cheerfully in the process.

----

A shadow perfectly enveloped your figures as you sat down by a tree together to rest for a while. Satoru asked for moments to pause, wearing his old glasses, while pleasant and nostalgic, put him into a slight migraine overtime. Though he didn't want to admit it to you, you knew him well enough by now to wordlessly hand him banages from his backpack with a slight smile.

He accepted the material, wrapped them around his eyes, giving him a long sigh of relief. He was truly grateful to you for understanding his needs, giving him a moment's pause whenever he needed it. He put the cloth over his eyes, closing them and trying to fight the migraine that was slowly growing inside him. He concentrated for the moment on his own thoughts, which were mainly focused on you. Were you always so caring? No wonder Megumi came to you more often with most of his needs.

The minutes passed at a fast pace, for that, his migraine refused to pass so quickly. He was replaying some memories in his head that had just flown by. He didn't even notice when he started to fall asleep, surrounded by the hum and soothing gusts of wind and the pleasant scent of nature.

----

He was awakened by a gentle nudge from something near his leg. Satoru opened his eyes and looked quickly at the scene before him. You sat down in front of him, still with the same soothing smile. When you noticed that you had woken him up by accident, you put your hand on his leg, muttering a quiet "sorry''. He noticed you were tinkering with something, by the fact that were sitting a piece away, with your back to him, he was unable to notice what, he was too sleepy for that.

Satoru took off his banages completely, depositing them in the backpack beside him, and in one efficient movement put his glasses on his nose. His migraine had stopped finally, he felt extremely relaxed and rested.

The view was beautiful, the picturesque fields and mountains seemed endless. For moments he stared at the white clouds, absorbing his six eyes with this view, waiting for you to finish working on something. Which you did literally moments later turning to face him, draping the fruit of your labour behind your back.

"I have something for you." you said. The smile wasn't coming off your face today, usually you were much more serious, thoughtful and even sometimes sad, in contrast to him, he was never serious, thoughtful or sad. At least that's what he tried to pretend. Today was different though, today he didn't have to pretend his happiness even a little bit.

"A gift. For me? You spoil me completely today." he chuckled with his confident smile, simultaneously interested in what she had prepared for him.

"Close your eyes." without thinking, he followed your command with his smile. He listened as you moved closer to him, he even felt your touch on his leg again, when you needed a gentle support. Your hands moved closer to his face. He felt something on his head, a very gentle weight, barely perceptible.

"You can open now." So he did, which was met with the sight of you taking a picture of him.

"Wait a minute, that's what you pay for! Do you know how many people want a photo with that georgous face?" he reached out to take the phone from your hands, you responded by giving the phone behind you as much as you could. This light-hearted tug-of-war didn't last long, at least not until out of the corner of his eye he noticed the screen with the photo you'd taken earlier. He moved away in amazement.

A crown of flowers? And not just any crown, you could see the craftsmanship of its creation, the blue and white flowers matched himperfectly. He also noticed, that there was another one lying next to you, with flowers perfectly matched to you.

Without thinking much, he took it in his hands and placed it on your head, just as you had done before. Satoru tried to hide the blush that appeared on his pale cheeks, again this day. For that, you hiding your blush and sweet sigh proved to be impossible. Not when your heart was suddenly beating harder, you didn't quite understand why again. Perhaps it was the fact that Satoru slid his hands along your cheeks, gently stroking them with his thumbs, gazing at you intensely with his sparkling blue eyes. You put your phone down.

Definitely Gojo Satoru was enchanted by the sight. The sight of you flushed cheeks, slightly parted lips and beautiful eyes. You are so mesmerising. The thought crossed his mind that he wanted to keep such a sight of you just for himself.

So this is what Suguru must had seen every day.

He froze, letting go of your face. You glanced at him confused.

Ah yes, one of that thoughts.

You were Suguru Geto's girlfriend in your high school days. You were his best friend's girlfriend. Totally in love with each other, inseparable, always together. Satoru remembered it perfectly. He will never get out of his memory when you came to school together, at first as friends, you and Suguru were already inseparable. He knew that you both came from the same village. It was hard not to notice how condescending, affectionate and absolutely in love with you Suguru was. At least Gojo noticed it right away, you didn't necessarily. His best friend finally dared to confess his feelings to you one day and so you became a couple. The world's most oversweetened, loved, adorable, romatic couple. The amount of this love made Satoru want to vomit. Geto mentioned more than once that he wanted to marry you right after you graduated.

Oh, how fate can be twisted.

After the incident of star plasma vessel, even you were unable to save him. He knew that you tried but failed, he is sure that you are still blaming yourself to this day. The amount of pain the raven-haired man caused both of you was indescribable.

Still, Satoru couldn't get the thought out of his head that he was somehow betraying his best friend by being with you like this. You were Suguru's girlfriend. What is he doing here with you under such circumstances?

Well, that's right - you were.

Suguru was long gone, he knew that. You hadn't been with him for a long time. He broke your heart. He knew, he wasn't coming back. And yet, out of sentiment and out of some strange sense of duty, that one conversation had brought out of him, where the raven-haired had asked him to take care of you, as if something had happened to him. Satoru seems to have taken it too much to heart: by taking care of you for years, befriending you, marrying you and falling in love.

You were his wife now.

You went on dates with others, when you hadn't yet convinced yourselves as much. Everything around you and him screamed that you had come to terms with the situation. Although it took a long time, you had succeeded. He loved him too, in a way. You, in a slightly different way, even though he rarely admits it.

How could he think you had no feelings for him? He didn't know himself. At some point, he had already stopped deceiving himself, when he glanced at the obvious evidence you had substituted for him.

Heck! You even ended up with him for your fifth anniversary. He never felt so good in his life. He is He was asbolutely in love with you, that moment and that feeling. He could be with you like that every day. He wanted to feel vulnerable again, weak and absolutely susceptible to your touch and every feeling you evoke in him.

But he couldn't. He would have fallen impetuously into your arms long ago, for all the years you spent together, for every thing you did for him and taught him. He was so grateful to you.

But...he couldn't. Every time there come situations at which his heart begins to sing, there is also an image of you and his friend together - happy, in love.

And he felt like the total garbage of a person, when he experienced similar feelings with you.

Not because of you, but because of his sense of duty and the awkwardness of the situation. If you continue, as you are now, he will find it hard to control himself. He will end up clingy again, like on your memorable anniversary, and won't be able to stop. Really funny thoughts, considering how close to each other you really are.

Satoru moved away from you, leaning against the tree again.

"Do you miss him sometimes?" You weren't able to hide your confusion when you saw how he completely changed his tone and mood in a second. He removed the crown from his head.

He had to be sure.

"Who?" you asked, not knowing what had suddenly sprung to his mind. He just sighed, looking to the side. "I don't know what you're talking about, Satoru, I'm not sitting in the inside your head." You really hoped this wasn't going to be some kind of argument, that would ruin the good vibe you were so desperate to maintain.

"Him. I'm talking about him, (Y/N)." finally the cogs in your head came together. You sign.

"Ugh, do we really need to talk about him? I don't want to spoil the good times with you." you said laying down entirely on the blanket with a disgruntled expression, you closed your eyes. "I haven't thought about him like this in years, I want to keep the streak."

A long moment of silence passed before you spoke up "..but I've been thinking a lot about you, Satoru." The corners of your mouth lifted. He needs to calm down, he's an adult now and he blushes as often as a teenager.

You lay in silence with your eyes closed, trying to chase all unnecessary thoughts out of your head, repeating to yourself that you should focus on the here and now. You're not going to change the past, there's no point living in it.

After a while you felt movement on the blanket, you opened your eyes slowly, only to see his face above you, he was leaning with one hand over you, the other stroking your cheek. His crystal blue eyes were watching you again. He ran his thumb over, hooking the corner of your lips, making you part them. Why did you even let him do such things? You had stopped asking yourself that question for some time. It seemed somehow unnecessary to you.

"I've been thinking a lot too…" his gaze focused on your parted lips and the uneven breathing that was beginning to build in you, he moved closer.

"...and what were you thinking about?" you said it so quietly that it might as well have been a whisper. You also put your hand on his cheek. Warm, you thought, and noticed too. You looked at his lips.

He pressed his thumb against your lip making you bite down slightly. His hand moved from your face, down your neck, to your collarbone, eventually ending up as a support for him, right next to your head. He was even closer.

"I think I want to keep racing with you." His nose rubbed against yours, playfully, he began smiling goofily again.

Then he rose and stood up, as if he hadn't just given you a heart attack, shaking the remnants of grass off himself while putting on his backpack.

"So, shall we go?" his tone was the same as ever, he had already started to walk towards the bike, as you continued to lie on the blanket, blushing feeling some sort of need that had built up somewhere down.

----

The day was enjoyable.

You rode a bike, took beautiful photographs, had a picnic in a large meadow full of flowers. Just the nice calming things.

Satoru was surprisingly calm until your return home. That was odd. He still radiated a smile, but it was different. Usually he was broad, sometimes arrogant and confident, at times teasing, but this one was smaller, calmer. More affectionate, as if he was smiling half-cheekedly.

His eyes did not leave your side. Which was not new to you, he has a habit of following you around like a stray cat, crying for your attention. Now, however, it was not like that. He just stared, still smiling, responding calmly. Well, maybe not always, because when you were playing Mahjong in the bedroom, he was a bit in over his head, at certain points.

"I can't understand how you win in this game." You scratched your head while glancing at the board. The white tiles were arranged in patterns.

"And I can't understand how you can cook so well. What you prepared today was delicious." he moved the tile on the board.

It was quite late in the evening. A warm summer rain was falling outside the window, irrigating the fields of crops and plants. The sound of soft bells was barely audible from where you were. The two of you were sitting in the bedroom, opposite each other, at an undersized table, drinking tea that you had brewed quite a while ago in a small, decorative teapot. It wasn't long before you had dinner; before heading home, you managed to visit a small farmers' market near the centre of town. You bought all the ingredients and made it into something from an old recipe you got from someone you knew back in middle school.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." you smiled slightly. The image of him devouring the dish you had prepared always touched your heart in some way. Especially since Satoru, never spared a comment describing the wonderfulness of the dish you had cooked.

"When we get home, please make it again, I think Megumi will be pleased too." his gaze stopped on the piece you had just selected.

"You just did a stupid thing." his voice was quite calm. You analyse a bit.

"I still don't know how to play this game." You paused for a moment from making a move to reach for the teapot and pour yourself some tea. His hands overtook you, lifting the teapot and pouring the hot liquid directly into your porcelain. You thanked him quietly, enjoying his kind gesture.

"Mahjong is a Chinese game, it's possible you might not have known it, it's not so often played in our country." He put down the teapot to the stand, returning his gaze to your face.

"I am not surprised by its presence in this house, even the porcelain we drink from comes from China. So is the owner." You glanced at his cup to see if you should pour it for him too, but the cup was almost full.

"How did you meet him?" he raised his hand to take a sip of cooling tea. You were surprised at how gracefully he does it, as if he has a habit of manners. We're talking about the same Satoru who sometimes played with his food, along with Tsumiki.

"I exorcised the curse that tormented his brother's house not far away. As a token of gratitude for saving his life, he said I could use his summer house. So I did. Although I really resisted it at first, I didn't want him to feel indebted to me. As it turned out, this is a man who feels indebted if he doesn't return the favour."

You pulled the night dressing gown tighter over your body. His blue irises fixed on the board.

"You always take care of others." he said it as if more to himself.

"It's my duty, besides, I like doing it." You lifted your cup up. He continued to stare at the white tiles on the board.

"How did you learn to play Mahjong?" you asked him, the cup clattering against the stand. He signed.

"When I was young, I played this game with one of my teachers." Satoru turned the plate in his hands, examining it from all sides.

"What was his name? What did he teach you?" the white-haired one said nothing for a long moment.

"I don't remember his name or where he came from. My teachers changed quite quickly, no one would stay to teach me for longer. My skills developed rapidly." A white plate rose up in front of his nose, began to rotate by his blue force, and he continued, "I remember him teaching me object control. In the beginning, he showed it to me on the tiles from Majhong, which is why I learned." The tile began to fall, and he caught it in flight. You began to wonder.

"Is there a teacher you particularly remember?" you wanted to find out a bit more about. It seemed pleasant to you, personal enough to get to know him at the same time, but distant enough to be safe.

"No."

"You haven't managed to build a relationship with anyone?" you asked softly, trying to catch his gaze, which was still fixed on the piece in his hand.

"No. My needs changed quite quickly, as did the people around me." he replied dryly, his uncovered eyes expressing more emotion than tone of voice.

You knew that Satoru had been pampered from a young age, spoilt, honoured, he had been so special that everyone had done everything possible to ensure he was looked after in the best possible way.

You were at the headquarters of his clan, you experienced the assessing gaze that measured your worth equally with your strength level. Satoru had the most of it.

You knew he had had a difficult childhood, it wasn't hard to guess. What you sometimes managed to forget through his playful and confident nature, was how lonely he was from the start. You weren't surprised at how much he was affected by his best friend leaving. And now, despite this knowledge, you shouldn't be surprised that he doesn't bond with most of the people he's met. Since he had always been put on a pedestal, it was hard for him to look for commonalities in people or look at their worth, regardless of strength. You experienced this yourself from his side. After spending years with him, you are able to conclude that he has changed that a bit in himself. This does not change the fact that it came with great effort on his part. He is a diffrent man, but still alone with his strenght.

"It must have been lonely." voice betrayed your thoughts, as did the compassion that slipped from your gaze.

Satoru rose from his seat. Instinctively, you reached out to grab him. Afraid that you somehow hurt him. You said something wrong, didn't you? You didn't manage to grab his hand, you were already about to start apologising to him, but he circled the table and found himself sitting on the floor, close to you, hugging you and pressing your head against his chest.

"Satoru? What are you doing?" you lifted your gaze to find his eyes staring at you.

"You said that when you are sad, sometimes instead of saying something I should hug you." his voice was so sincere, open in a way. You smiled slightly, surprised that he didn't understand.

"That wasn't…" he pressed you tighter against him, suppressing your urge to correct what you meant. You embraced him too, putting your arms around his waist and laying your head on his shoulder. You chuckled.

It finally clicked in your head why he did what he did. You couldn't hold back a smile.

You laughed in your soul, at how often you wonder if his touch is typically friendly, caused by years spent together, or if there is something more behind it. Knowing that his touch sometimes put you in a palette of different emotions.

Constantly reminding yourself that by definition you are friends, nothing more, was becoming increasingly difficult for you. Maybe because it was becoming more and more of a lie. At least on your part, you no longer knew how to look at him as a person with whom you only shared a bed and goals. You no longer knew, how to look at him other than as your partner. Hiding it often worked out terribly for you, so you stopped. You didn't want to hold yourself back anymore.

That was your situation. You knew Satoru wasn't the best at expressing his feelings. Often in difficult situations, he falls silent, doesn't know what to do, freezes in place. So you just give him time until he comes to you on his own sometimes. And when he comes, you hold him all the time, promising not to let go.

You are happy that he came to you with this kind gesture.

Even if you think his intentions are different from yours.

"If you want a hug, just do it, anytime, 'Toru." you started stroking his hair, the way he likes it best. You felt his body relax under your touch. White curls escaped through your fingers, soft and pleasant to the touch.

"I'm not surprised you're losing, your positioning is wrong. It's no fun, when you don't even know how to play." he said in his normal voice, then with an efficient movement he planted you between his legs, facing the board. He reached with his long arm for the tea cup on the other side and placed it next to yours.

He pulled you closer to the table, put his head on your shoulder and began to teach you, showing you, explaining everything. He made his movements in game using his power and you listened bravely and attentively to what he was saying. Although it was quite difficult when sometimes he nuzzled into your neck more, tickling you and distracting you with his warm breath.

That day, despite the obstacles, you learned to play Mahjong.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #megumi fushiguro #gojo x reader #fluff #tsumiki fushiguro #satoru gojō x reader #gojo x you #satoru gojo x you #gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #years to come #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu gojo

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mostlysignssomeportents · 9 months ago

Text

The Coprophagic AI crisis

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TORONTO on Mar 22, then with LAURA POITRAS in NYC on Mar 24, then Anaheim, and more!

A key requirement for being a science fiction writer without losing your mind is the ability to distinguish between science fiction (futuristic thought experiments) and predictions. SF writers who lack this trait come to fancy themselves fortune-tellers who SEE! THE! FUTURE!

The thing is, sf writers cheat. We palm cards in order to set up pulp adventure stories that let us indulge our thought experiments. These palmed cards – say, faster-than-light drives or time-machines – are narrative devices, not scientifically grounded proposals.

Historically, the fact that some people – both writers and readers – couldn't tell the difference wasn't all that important, because people who fell prey to the sf-as-prophecy delusion didn't have the power to re-orient our society around their mistaken beliefs. But with the rise and rise of sf-obsessed tech billionaires who keep trying to invent the torment nexus, sf writers are starting to be more vocal about distinguishing between our made-up funny stories and predictions (AKA "cyberpunk is a warning, not a suggestion"):

https://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2023/11/dont-create-the-torment-nexus.html

In that spirit, I'd like to point to how one of sf's most frequently palmed cards has become a commonplace of the AI crowd. That sleight of hand is: "add enough compute and the computer will wake up." This is a shopworn cliche of sf, the idea that once a computer matches the human brain for "complexity" or "power" (or some other simple-seeming but profoundly nebulous metric), the computer will become conscious. Think of "Mike" in Heinlein's *The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moon_Is_a_Harsh_Mistress#Plot

For people inflating the current AI hype bubble, this idea that making the AI "more powerful" will correct its defects is key. Whenever an AI "hallucinates" in a way that seems to disqualify it from the high-value applications that justify the torrent of investment in the field, boosters say, "Sure, the AI isn't good enough…yet. But once we shovel an order of magnitude more training data into the hopper, we'll solve that, because (as everyone knows) making the computer 'more powerful' solves the AI problem":

https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/

As the lawyers say, this "cites facts not in evidence." But let's stipulate that it's true for a moment. If all we need to make the AI better is more training data, is that something we can count on? Consider the problem of "botshit," Andre Spicer and co's very useful coinage describing "inaccurate or fabricated content" shat out at scale by AIs:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4678265

"Botshit" was coined last December, but the internet is already drowning in it. Desperate people, confronted with an economy modeled on a high-speed game of musical chairs in which the opportunities for a decent livelihood grow ever scarcer, are being scammed into generating mountains of botshit in the hopes of securing the elusive "passive income":

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week

Botshit can be produced at a scale and velocity that beggars the imagination. Consider that Amazon has had to cap the number of self-published "books" an author can submit to a mere three books per day:

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/sep/20/amazon-restricts-authors-from-self-publishing-more-than-three-books-a-day-after-ai-concerns

As the web becomes an anaerobic lagoon for botshit, the quantum of human-generated "content" in any internet core sample is dwindling to homeopathic levels. Even sources considered to be nominally high-quality, from Cnet articles to legal briefs, are contaminated with botshit:

https://theconversation.com/ai-is-creating-fake-legal-cases-and-making-its-way-into-real-courtrooms-with-disastrous-results-225080

Ironically, AI companies are setting themselves up for this problem. Google and Microsoft's full-court press for "AI powered search" imagines a future for the web in which search-engines stop returning links to web-pages, and instead summarize their content. The question is, why the fuck would anyone write the web if the only "person" who can find what they write is an AI's crawler, which ingests the writing for its own training, but has no interest in steering readers to see what you've written? If AI search ever becomes a thing, the open web will become an AI CAFO and search crawlers will increasingly end up imbibing the contents of its manure lagoon.

This problem has been a long time coming. Just over a year ago, Jathan Sadowski coined the term "Habsburg AI" to describe a model trained on the output of another model:

https://twitter.com/jathansadowski/status/1625245803211272194

There's a certain intuitive case for this being a bad idea, akin to feeding cows a slurry made of the diseased brains of other cows:

https://www.cdc.gov/prions/bse/index.html

But "The Curse of Recursion: Training on Generated Data Makes Models Forget," a recent paper, goes beyond the ick factor of AI that is fed on botshit and delves into the mathematical consequences of AI coprophagia:

https://arxiv.org/abs/2305.17493

Co-author Ross Anderson summarizes the finding neatly: "using model-generated content in training causes irreversible defects":

https://www.lightbluetouchpaper.org/2023/06/06/will-gpt-models-choke-on-their-own-exhaust/

Which is all to say: even if you accept the mystical proposition that more training data "solves" the AI problems that constitute total unsuitability for high-value applications that justify the trillions in valuation analysts are touting, that training data is going to be ever-more elusive.

What's more, while the proposition that "more training data will linearly improve the quality of AI predictions" is a mere article of faith, "training an AI on the output of another AI makes it exponentially worse" is a matter of fact.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/14/14/inhuman-centipede#enshittibottification

Image: Plamenart (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Double_Mobius_Strip.JPG

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #ai #generative ai #André Spicer #botshit #habsburg ai #jathan sadowski #ross anderson #inhuman centipede #science fiction #mysticism

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mulletmitsuya · 7 months ago

Text

Toman Captains + BajiFuyuTora Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of substances, mentions of PTSD

Desc: Baji tries to make a polycule work with some heavy convincing

Baji: alr guys, i'm gonna ask Fuyu and Tora out on a date at the same time

Mitsuya: that's not gonna work

Draken: don't they hate each other? just pick one

Baji: no i'm in love with the both of them so i'm gonna ask both of them out

Baji: also they actually have feelings for each other but haven't realized it yet

Draken: you're pushing it

Smiley: first of all, Kazutora likes women

Baji: no, he has feelings for me but he hasn't realized it yet

Smiley: alright man

Mikey: Baji, your chances are better with Chifuyu. sort that out first because you're gonna ruin the entire friendgroup dynamic with this shit😟

Baji: we're not a friendgroup, we're lovers

Mikey: i'm talking about us, dipshit

Baji: who

Mikey: everyone who isn't Chifuyu and Kazutora??

Baji: idgaf

Mikey: ayt

Pah: weren't we your treasures or smth 🧐?

Baji: i've moved on to bigger things

Baji: smaller twinks

Baji: you get me?

Smiley: Chifuyu's short but he's not a twink.

Smiley: now Kazutora, we can call a twink

Smiley: you guys are using this word wrong

Mikey: it's it just a skinny guy?

Smiley: "a gay or effeminate man, or a young man, regarded as an object of homosexual desire, usually a bottom. they are attractive and slim in appearance."

Draken: this is just Mitsuya

Mikey: 🧐

Mitsuya: ?

Smiley: that is correct but i didn't wanna say anything cause that twink got hands🤷‍♂️

Mikey: now that i think about it, Mitsuya used to be kinda built. not buff but not skinny. fuck happened

Pah: Draken died

Pah: "died"

Baji: so he stopped eating? lame

Mitsuya: do you guys get how mourning works

Draken: well i'm good now so let's get this grub 🗣

Draken: sorry for making you sad, brother

Draken: it's my mission to bulk you up again

Mitsuya: i'm fine👍

Mikey: no one dying is going to get in between me and a meal😭🙏

Mikey: skill issue on Mitsuya's part

Smiley: skill issue is when your friend dies and you go into a depression so deep that you can't even eat anymore

Mikey: that's what i'm saying❗

Smiley: leave it up to Draken to get shot 3 times in the chest and just walk it off

Smiley: that was kinda hard tho

Draken: thanks👍

Draken: it hurt really bad

Draken: i think it traumatized me

Draken: i can't go to amusement parts now. or listen to fireworks cause i'll start hallucinating shit that happened from that night. weird

Mitsuya: ...that's called ptsd

Baji: yeah man you have ptsd

Draken: what's ptsd

Baji: PTSDEEZ NUTS LMAOOOOOOO

Baji: GOT EM

Draken: i wish your suicide attempt worked you mentally challenged, wanna be werewolf, loreal shampoo ad looking ass bitch

Baji: BANG BANG BANG💣💥💣💥💣💥

Mikey: DUDE💀

Baji: do you guys get it

Baji: it's the gunshots

Baji: because he has PTSD

Baji: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Draken: do you remember how you killed Shinichiro

Baji: 😐

Mikey: GUYS💀

Draken: i'm sorry Mikey

Draken: but

Draken: Baji do you remember when you were screaming his name and watched him bleed to death

Smiley: ☠️

Draken: the skull represent Shinichiro, who you killed

Baji: anyway

Baji: back to my kittens

Baji: before Draken decided to take shit too far😒

Draken: when you go low I'll go lower

Baji: cause you were almost 6 feet under???

Draken: where you put Shinichiro??

Baji: ANYWAY

Mikey: Ken-chin he's gonna kill himself again😔

Draken: that is exactly the point

Baji: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY ANYWAY

Baji: anyway

Baji: back to the topic at hand 😐

Baji: i'm doing it tonight

Mitsuya: ahem

Mitsuya: do you know how awkward it's gonna be when Kazutora rejects you? we don't wanna have to deal with that

Baji: he won't reject me

Mikey: your delusional

Baji: can you guys name a situation in which things didn't work out for me?

Baji: no you can't

Mitsuya: 1) Bloody Halloween??

Draken: 2) Your grades🤨?

Mikey: 3) Not making your mom cry🤔?

Baji: ...

Baji: those don't count

Smiley: it's so hard trying to talk to stupid people

Smiley: he doesn't use logic at all

Draken: Baji don't fucking ask them out

Mikey: ask Chifuyu!!! that f slur is obsessed with you😍

Draken: don't say that word😐

Mikey: i literally didn't say it😭

Mitsuya: Baji please just think for literally one second

Baji: too late cause i just texted them

Mitsuya: omfg

Mikey: you fool😞

Mikey: what did you say??

Baji: i went to our groupchat

Baji: "yo let's cut the bullshit. i'm in love with the both of you so why don't we all date and love each other in a relationship with all three of us and shit"

Baji: i sent that

Smiley: you're very... direct

Smiley: i'll give you that

Smiley: Kazutora's gonna say no

Draken: obviously

Baji: bet

Baji's kittens:

Kazutora: Chifuyu can you please change the fucking groupchat name

Kazutora: i know you and Baji do kinky shit together but i am NOT anybody's kitten

Chifuyu: but Baji-san changed it and i can't change it back if he doesn't want me to

Chifuyu: and Baji-san and i do not do "kinky shit"

Chifuyu: we don't have a sexual relationship😐

Kazutora: you have free will mothefucker!! you don't need his fucking permission

Kazutora: is he your dom or something😭

Kazutora: why are so obsessed with him jesus

Kazutora: you guys are gay af

Chifuyu: just because i don't stab my friends doesn't mean i'm gay

Chifuyu: i just respect him a lot cause he's cool 😒

Chifuyu: nothing you'd know about

Chifuyu: you psychopath

Kazutora: you slobber on his dick all day

Kazutora: "Baji-san!!! What a cool kick!! Can you teach me😁?"

Kazutora: you might as well just ask him to put it in

Chifuyu: shut the fuck up all you've ever known are the prison walls that enclosed you

Kazutora: NOT ANYMORE😁

Baji: ladies, ladies

Baji: there's enough to go around 😏

Baji: ew. alright i'm never using that emoji again what the fuck

Kazutora: CHANGE THE GROUPCHAT NAME

Baji: no

Kazutora: you and Chifuyu can do your pet play somewhere else please leave me out of it 🙏

Baji: nuh uh

Baji: you're a tiger

Baji: tigers are cats

Baji: so you're a kitten

Baji: done deal

Kazutora: i'm an adult tiger not a kitten😐

Baji: i'm the alpha and you and Chifuyu are my omega's

Kazutora: what the fuck does that mean????

Chifuyu: haha Baji-san😂

Kazutora: i've never seen someone ride someone else's meat so hard before holy shit

Chifuyu: if you don't understand what respect is, just say that 🙄

Baji: don't lie Chifuyu

Baji: you're in love with me

Kazutora: LMFAOOOOOOOOO

Baji: you are too Kazutora

Kazutora: 🤨

Baji: yo let's cut the bullshit. i'm in love with the both of you so why don't we all date and love each other in a relationship with all three of us and shit

Baji: you guys are in love with each other too just by the way

Kazutora: what

Kazutora: that's not how anything works

Chifuyu: Baji-san i ask again is this a prank 🤣🤣🤣

Kazutora: it has to be cause i'm not a boy kisser like you mfs

Baji: Kazutora be fr. you just got out of prison, you're clinically insane, you're on parole, people feel unsettled by your presence, you have an ankle bracelet, you belong to the state, you have mommy AND daddy issues, you've killed someone

Kazutora: damn

Kazutora: you didn't have to list it like that

Baji: all i'm saying is that i'm your best option because i don't care about all of this and i'll take care of you for the rest of your life even tho you're crazy

Baji: cause i love you (gayly)

Baji: you could even stab me again

Chifuyu: NO

Baji: Chifuyu shut the up i'll get to you babe

Chifuyu: yes Baji-san

Kazutora: "yes daddy😩😍"

Kazutora: what the fuck dude you could least try to hide it 💀

Baji: can u focus

Kazutora: oh right

Kazutora: what about gay sex tho

Baji: i'll teach you

Kazutora: but you have a dick

Baji: uhhhh

Baji: fine you can use yours

Baji: nah nevermind i'm not a bottom

Baji: fuck you

Kazutora: i didn't even say anything

Kazutora: but whatever ig

Kazutora: i'm not gonna be with Chifuyu tho😐

Baji: you are

Kazutora: 😒

Baji: Chifuyu we've been in love for years so i know you'll say yes. just needed to convince Tora babygirl

Chifuyu: but is this a prank tho🤣🤣

Baji: no

Baji: you are my boyfriend now

Baji: both of you come over

Kazutora: ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kazutora: fine

Chifuyu: are the both of you pranking me🤣😂

Baji: just come over you fucking idiot

Baji: that was too mean

Baji: please come over you fucking idiot❤

Captains:

Baji: they said yes and we're all about to have sex now

Mikey: you're just gonna lie Baji

Draken: should i get beers? you can cry if you want i won't even laugh at you

Draken: i promise

Mikey: you're just gonna lie Ken-chin

Mitsuya: what did they actually say

Baji: they're coming over? and we're about to make love? are you guys dumb 🤨

Baji: it worked out how i said it would

Smiley: Draken gets the beers i'll get the cigarettes

Smiley: Baji we tried to tell you

Draken: don't piss me off cause you know i don't smoke

Draken: you're gonna influence Angry into an early grave

Draken: do you want your brother to have lung cancer

Smiley: chill

Smiley: Angry tried a cigarette and almost died

Smiley: so you don't have to worry about that

Smiley: fine i'll bring weed instead

Mitsuya: where are you getting drugs😐

Smiley: my plug, duh 😁

Mikey: can i have a weed as well please

Smiley: idk man what if your dark impulses come out or something

Mikey: my therapist said that only happens with specific triggers so it's fine

Mikey: plus i have a shock collar in case that happens

Draken: i don't think that's normal 🤨

Baji: you guys are pissing me off

Mikey: dude it's fine we can comfort you even tho we told you so

Draken: i'm gonna be the better man and forgive you since you've just been rejected

Baji: yk what idgaf

Baji: i'ma just nut in my kittens

Baji: bye losers

Baji: no one does it like i do

Mikey: poor thing🙁

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 1 year ago

Note

Digital Circus with a Mime Reader, who CAN speak but prefers to use sign language and gestures: they find find Kaufmo in the middle of abstracting and try to calm him down (against their better judgement). It doesn't go well, ending with them locking and closing Kaufmo's door, and running to find Caine... Only to hear the theme song suddenly stop and Jax say something about a "new character" as they approach...

Ough finally some Kaufmo angst-

........

Approaching Kaufmo's door, you stopped in front of it and politely knocked, wanting to check up on him before Caine could summon everybody to perform the Digital Circus' "theme song" musical number.

As of late, your fellow clown hasn't been feeling up to snuff, since apparently nobody was laughing at his jokes anymore...

Although said jokes have all mentioned something about an exit--a way out of the digital realm you've grown quite comfortable living in. But even when he is dead serious, the others are convinced he's only kidding around, pretending to laugh and sometimes asking him if he could joke about something else.

Least to say...it grew frustrating for him.

The only reason he hadn't totally lost it yet was because of you, a mime who has lived in the circus for the past five months and befriended him quickly. Together you've put on many acts: with his wacky props and your invisible techniques, your shows were amusing to all.

That being said, you didn't want your longtime partner to think about any exits too much, as you've lost several friends in the past when they started talking about the same thing.

It happened to Queener, Kinger's beloved wife, and the poor chess piece has been on the brink of abstraction ever since (honestly, it's a miracle he didn't immediately follow her).

Fortunately, he remained stable enough to be around everyone.

As for Kaufmo?

He didn't look so good last night at dinner, and you haven't seen him all morning. Normally he'd be up and about, juggling random things as he walked or approaching you to brainstorm new acts to perform.

Him locking himself away in his room was not normal.

Especially when he knew this musical number was super important to Caine.

After waiting a minute or two, you perked up as he finally answered the door.

At first you smiled in greeting, although that was quick to fade when he only kept it open just a crack--enough for you to barely see his face...

Which bore a terrified expression underneath his runny makeup, making his frown look worse than it actually is. His hat was nowhere to be found, either.

''Are you okay, Kaufmo?" You signed, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

That was your usual way of talking, despite knowing you could very well speak freely. You had no clue if you were proficient in sign language before entering this circus, but regardless it always came in handy, and everybody did their best to communicate with you that way (or at least those with fingers, unlike Zooble or Gangle).

Since your performances usually involved silence and expressive gestures, you didn't see a need to talk often--and that was usually fine with Kaufmo, who'd always chatter with you in sign language right back.

But when he attempted to respond, you swore you both saw his own hands glitching, before he quickly retracted them, clearly frightened.

You, on the other hand, wanted to believe it was just a "digital hallucination".

That's all it was...right?

"I-I'm sorry, [y/n]..haven't been..feeling like myself-f-f lately.." Even his own voice was betraying him, as it sounded distorted, lagging as though he was a slow computer program. "But you believe me, don't you?"

"Believe what?"

"The...the exit, of course! The thing I've been talking about this whole time!! It's real! There IS a way out!! I-I can show you!!"

You blinked, before shaking your head. "Kaufmo, let me in."

"Oh no, I think that's a bad id--wait! Wait!!" Despite his pleas for you to stop, you forced your way into his room, shutting the door behind you so nobody else could intrude or eavesdrop.

The last thing you needed was Caine listening in.

Yet after taking a look around at the state of his quarters--with everything being a complete mess and the word "EXIT" scrawled onto every square inch of the ceiling and walls--you were nothing short of terrified for his mental well-being.

'My god....what has he done..?' You thought to yourself, mortified.

"No, no, no, no!!"

Looking back at Kaufmo, you saw him back up against the wall, holding his face as black glitchy polygons started appearing on his body. He gasped in horror, looking at his hands...and then up at you.

"What's..h-happening to me-e-e?"

Your heart sunk, knowing exactly what was going on.

"You're abstracting.." You whispered, your voice small yet shaken.

"I-I didn't...think I'd be next...it hurts so much! Christ-!!!" He began crying, his makeup oozing as he stared at you with empty, soulless black eyes. One of his arms was already taken over by the glitches, morphing into a large one covered in jagged polygons.

"Make it stop..MAKE IT STOP!!!" He screamed, slumping to the floor.

You were frozen in a state of panic, unsure if you should go get Caine or stay here and try to pull him out of his abstraction.

Either way, you had to do something fast...lest you lose him forever or become infected yourself.

"Just focus on me, pal. I'm here. I'm here." Kneeling down, you grasped his non-glitching hand tightly with both of yours, attempting to guide him through a breathing exercise.

"You'll get through this." You mouthed, but he just shook his head, noticing a single glowing eye forming on the surface of the glitchy flesh.

"Wh-Whatever you do...don't tell Caine, I beg you-u.." He pleaded. "He'll lock me away...a-and I'll be all alone in the dark..I don't wanna be alone.."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head, and he gazed at you in confusion. "What do you mean "no"? You'd let him throw me into the cellar with the rest of them...?" He started to grow angrier, feeling betrayed. "I thought we were partners!"

"We are partners, Kaufmo. Always will be." You sighed, wishing there was another way to stop this from happening. "But there's nothing more I can do...he needs to know-"

"Fine...maybe things will be better if I'm not around to tell my stupid jokes anymore."

"Kaufmo-"

"Go....run, [y/n]...run-n-n-nnNNNN------"

Immediately after he said that, you let him go right as his other hand quickly became overtaken by the abstraction, almost taking you with it.

You got up and took a step backwards, watching in mute terror as he rapidly grew in size, turning into a massive amalgamation of glitch black polygons. Even more glowy-trippy eyes were popping up in different places, looking in every direction.

Within seconds, Kaufmo no longer resembled the clown you once knew (or a person, in general)....but was instead replaced by a horrific digital beast with a long neck, standing on four legs.

You gulped as every single eye on his body suddenly shifted to stare directly down at you.

'Uh-oh-'

You hastily created an invisible wall just as he lunged at you with a ferocious roar, slamming right into the illusion like a bird smacking into a glass pane.

'He still falls for the oldest trick in the book..oh Kaufmo..'

Although it pained your heart to abandon him like this, he was too far gone to be saved. He didn't even recognize you anymore.

The only thing you could do now was get Caine before he harmed you or anybody else--even if it means you never saw him again. He could very well threaten the entire stability of this world if he got loose.

You quickly ran out of the room just before he could break through the "wall" and go after you, slamming the door shut and locking it tight.

Moments later, you heard him ram into it, the hinges damn near breaking off (but by the grace of cartoon physics, that didn't happen).

You wiped the sweat from your forehead, making a mad dash out of the dormitory section of the tent in a desperate search for Caine.

Unfortunately, you could already hear Bubble's singing in the distance as the gang's musical number routine was already starting:

"Gangle, and Zooble, and Kinger, too~!"

You ran as fast as your legs could possibly carry you. They were already aware of both of your absences, and they chose to go on with the song anyways.

'Jerks..they couldn't at least wait for me?' You huffed. 'Caine never tells us when we're doing these musical ditties-'

By the time you arrived, however, you heard the music abruptly cut out.

You stopped upon seeing your friends tumbled over each other on the floor, with Gangle's comedy mask being broken and Jax picking himself up in annoyance.

"Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker?"

Blinking, you glanced at the new person he was referring to, surprised to see a girl dressed as a red and blue jester.

"........."

Now you couldn't say anything to Caine.

Not right now, at least.

#clanask #anonymous #tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #tadc kaufmo #clown reader #mime reader #angst #platonic

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