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schrijverr · 2 years ago

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Life Is Ours, We Live It Our Way 12

Chapter 12 out of 18

Genderqueer Stevie with platonic soulmates Robin and Eddie living their best queer life.

In this chapter, Eddie and Stevie have a discussion about their limits and what they want out of this. Eddie comes out. Then have their first scene together. (This chapter is skippable if it’s not your thing.)

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: nsfw & discussion past dubious consent (elaboration line in chapter 1)

~~~~~~~~~~

Set the Scene

True to his word, Eddie has lists. He returns with a bunch of papers filled with his handwriting on it and plops down opposite to Stevie as he dumps it all on the table. Then he grins at her: “So, you wanna try. Elaborate?”

Stevie snorts: “Shouldn’t you have asked that before you came in here with your own handwritten library?”

Eddie blushes and says: “I got excited, sue me. I haven’t been able to get onto the scene since the winter break between ‘85 and ‘86. And you were very pretty.”

Now it’s Stevie’s turn to blush and he knows this is going to be hard, because Eddie is going to say things that wind him up and he’s already bad at talking about stuff like this. However, she wants to try and he’s nothing if not a stubborn asshole.

“Okay, okay,” he says. “I- I don’t know if I’ll like it or if I can even do it, but I’m willing to try, since it was nice last time. But I can’t promise anything.”

“Of course,” Eddie assures her. “This is not an obligation and don’t feel bad for me. If you wanna tap out, you tap out. Anytime you want. No questions. No judgment.”

A bit relieved Stevie nods, then says: “Same goes for you. If we’re doing this, then we’re both have to want to. I don’t want you to do this because you feel bad for me or something.”

Eddie smiles at that, a big happy grin, filled with pride and he says: “I want to, but thank you. It’s good to hear that.” Then he claps his hands. “So, we have to go through the basics. What do we want out of this? What are our limits? Do’s and don’t and maybe’s. Triggers. Safewords. How we’re going to communicate about it and what we’re going to share.”

It’s a lot and Stevie blinks a few times, feeling overwhelmed. Softly, she says: “Uhm, that’s a lot, I- I haven’t done so well with much information at once since the latest concussion. So, maybe start with breaking it down?”

“Yeah, princess, of course,” Eddie smiles. “Let’s start by going over what you remember from our last talk. We’ll go from there.”

That Stevie can do. The easy acceptance of the limit relieves the last bit of tension. This is Eddie, Eddie loves Stevie. She can do this. It’s safe here.

“Well, it has to do with hormones making someone float-y,” Stevie answer, recalling everything he can remember. “It can be a sex thing, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s about giving up control and trusting the other person with it. Boundaries and talking about it is important. And it helps people recenter and relax.”

“Alright, yeah,” Eddie nods. “I’ll be the one with control, the dominant, or dom. Are you willing to trust me with your submissive side?”

Stevie is still a bit awkward about having what it is out in the open like that, but nods.

“Come on, princess,” Eddie pokes his leg with his toes. “If you can’t talk about it, I’m not doing it, okay? Verbal replies, please.”

“Yeah, I trust you,” Stevie says, the words easier to say.

“Good,” Eddie smiles. “So, I’m going to be the dom, some people prefer to give the dom a title to call them. Like sir, master, or daddy, but you don’t have to call me anything. Just Eddie is more than fine.”

Stevie wrinkles his nose at the idea of calling anyone daddy, his own father hadn’t been deserving of the title and calling anyone that would make him feel weird. Master feels odd too, like he’s being owned, controlled. She considers sir for a second, but in the end says: “I think just Eddie is best. If it’s weird we can change, right?”

“Course,” Eddie nods easily, noting it down on a blank piece of paper. He nods to himself again, then looks back to Stevie and asks: “Any triggers I should know off. Things I should not say under any circumstance or movements I shouldn’t make or places I shouldn’t touch?”

“Don’t call me or anything I do bullshit,” Stevie says, it’s not something she has ever admitted before, but emotional risks, being vulnerable and all that shit.

“Alright,” Eddie notes that down with an easy acceptance and no questions, which takes his breath away. “Anything else?”

“Uhm, well don’t choke me and be careful around my neck,” Stevie says, not really thinking that’s going to come up but just in case. “And I don’t do well with flickering lights and having to swim, but I assume you won’t toss me in a lake.”

“I won’t,” Eddie grins, before asking: “And a bath? Would you be able to do a bath?”

“Yeah, I can do a bath,” Stevie answers. She has been planning on taking one here, but hasn’t gotten around to it yet. “Just don’t dunk me under.”

“So no washing hair or using a cup to rinse it out?” Eddie asks.

“Cup is fine,” Stevie shrugs.

Eddie notes that down too, before asking: “What about nudity limits? It’s not going to be sexual, at least not now, we can talk about that later, or never – up to you – but what are you okay with?”

Stevie frowns and asks: “Like how?”

“Well, I might have you strip to just your underwear to make you feel more vulnerable, but that’s more to add to it, not a requirement. You being comfortable is the most important. But I’m not putting you in a bath with all your clothes on, so if that’s a no, then I’ll strike it off,” Eddie explains.

“Oh, yeah, I get it,” Stevie nods, before taking a moment to contemplate. “I’m fine with you seeing me naked, honestly. But I don’t think I like being naked outside the bathroom. Other than that I’m good with stripping down to my underwear.”

“I can work with that,” Eddie smiles, before moving on. “Okay, now that we’re on the topic of nudity and private parts. Where am I allowed to touch you? Like your neck is a careful zone, but what else?”

“Would it be weird to say I trust you and you can just touch me?” Stevie asks. There has been implied that this might get sexual and she has already agreed to potential baths, but this may be a bit too much.

“That’s not weird at all,” Eddie assures him. “I’m glad you trust me like that.” Stevie smiles at that, happy that it wasn’t weird as Eddie writes it down.

Unsure if he is allowed to ask too, she asks: “And what about your triggers and no-zones?”

Eddie smiles at the question, so Stevie assumes it was okay, then he answers: “I don’t think my triggers are going to come up here, but don’t slap me in my face or call me slurs.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t planning on doing that,” Stevie agrees.

“Thought so,” Eddie says, before moving on. “Now, on the topic of communication. Tell me if you want to add something or strike something off, these kind of boundaries can always be renegotiated when needed.”

“Sounds good,” Stevie nods.

“Further on communication,” Eddie goes on after Stevie’s agreement. “Do you know the traffic light system?”

“Uhm, no,” Stevie admits.

Eddie smiles: “That’s okay. It’s a system using the three traffic colors so I can check in with you and that you’re okay. I’ll ask you a color and you’ll reply with green, yellow or red. Green is all is good, yellow is pause and talk, while red is a hard stop. Does that sound okay to you?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Stevie says, before biting her lip, realizing that it might be difficult to remember at first with all the past head trauma. “Maybe- uhm, maybe repeat it when we start. I’m not good with remembering shit sometime.”

“Course,” Eddie says, then pauses and asks: “Outside of this, should we develop a sticky note system on the fridge or something like that?”

“I mean, maybe,” Stevie replies. “When I have a routine, it’s easier to remember all I have to do and before it was just me, so when something had to be done, I was the one to do it. But now. It might be handy to leave a note if it’s outside the norm, like extra stuff yeah.”

“Alright, good to know,” Eddie says. Before moving back to the previous topic: “I’ll remind you of the colors at the start and have you repeat them back to me. And I need you to be honest with me about these. If you can’t tell me to stop, I’m not doing anything at all. Do you understand that, Stevie?”

He looks at her intently, as if his eyes can drill holes through his skin. Stevie nods: “Yeah, I get it.”

“Good,” Eddie nods too after a second of studying Stevie, happy with what he found. “You can also just use the colors to communicate with me. Like saying yellow or red without prompting, even green if you especially like something. That sound okay to you?”

“Yeah,” Stevie nods, then asks: “And you?”

“Hm?”

“Will you use the colors too?” Stevie clarifies.

“I’ll use them too,” Eddie smiles. “Thanks for asking. It’s a bit different for me. I’ll use them to stop you if I want to tap out or talk for a bit, but I don’t expect you to check in with me like I’ll do with you. I’m the one that will be more sound of mind and making decisions, while we’re scening. I want you to be able to empty your mind, not worry about that for a bit. If I start to panic or can’t go through with something or want to check, I’ll also use the colors to let you know.”

“That’s good,” Stevie smiles back with a satisfied nod, glad that Eddie is also being safe with all the care he gives him.

“Okay, with all of that out of the way, I have this for you,” Eddie hands him one of the papers with a flourish. On it is indeed a list.

Stevie doesn’t read it yet, merely scanning it, though the words jumble a bit when she’s not paying attention to them. “And what is this?” she asks.

“It’s a list of things we can do,” Eddie tells him. “I want you to read through it and cross out things you don’t want to do ever, circle things you do want to try and put question marks behind things you’re not sure about or don’t know what they mean.”

“That might take a moment,” Stevie warns him, looking at all the text.

“That’s okay,” Eddie shrugs. “I have time. Here, you do that, I’ll make us some tea.”

At that Stevie nods and turns to the list. None of it is necessarily sexual, but that doesn’t stop Stevie from blushing as she reads it through. Everything on there feels very intimate. He isn’t used to anyone doing these sort of things for him, but he has to admit it sounds alluring.

However, it feels taboo to circle things like ‘hair petting’ or ‘kneeling’ and other things like it. So, there is color on his cheeks and she doesn’t meet Eddie’s eyes all throughout the process.

Eddie stays true to his word and makes them tea, before lounging without making Stevie feel like he’s waiting on her. He looks content just sitting there and sipping from his mug in the middle of their kitchen.

When she’s done, she slides the paper over to Eddie and sits anxiously as Eddie looks through the list, nodding to himself. Once Eddie is done with reading he asks Stevie about the things she put a question mark behind, some get circled after others crossed out, while others remain with a question mark.

As Eddie tucks the list back in his stack of papers, Stevie idly comments: “It’s kind of weird that you care so much about what I want.”

“Why- Why would that be weird, Stevie?” Eddie asks from where he’s going through his papers with a concerned look that makes the comment to fill the silence feel a lot less like something casual.

“I mean, I guess you’re just the first in that regard and this isn’t even sexual,” Stevie shrugs, hoping that Eddie will drop it.

It doesn’t work, with Eddie’s frown only getting deeper. When he speaks again, his voice is colored with something dark and dangerous, though Stevie can tell it’s not directed at him. “Stevie, sweetheart, did anyone do something to you that you didn’t want to?”

“Uhm…” Stevie never really thought about that, then slowly shakes his head, shrugging again. “I mean, not really, I think.”

“That’s not really a confident answer, sweetheart,” Eddie informs her. “Did you ever regret having sex with someone? Like, in hindsight, you would rather not have?”

Stevie thinks about it, feeling a bit like he’s being studied under a microscope. Then answers: “I guess, I regret sleeping when Nance when Barb went missing, but that wasn’t really because of the sex, you know. And, I mean, everyone takes a while to get used to sex. It’s normal.”

“Get used to sex?” Eddie repeats, the question to elaborate obvious in his tone, but leaving it up to Stevie.

“Yeah,” Stevie doesn’t mind answering. “The first time always makes you feel a little weird, but everyone seemed normal about it. I figured it wasn’t really something people talked about. The girl was happy anyway and it was just a thing people expected.”

“So you had sex because people expected it, not because you wanted it?” Eddie asks. “Jesus, Stevie.”

“I don’t know why you’re so dramatic about it,” Stevie huffs, not really wanting to think about it anymore. “So what. It’s not like I regret it that much and I grew into it. It hasn’t bothered me and I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“But it is a bit of a big deal, princess,” Eddie says. “And you don’t have to be okay with it. You can talk to me about it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Eds,” Stevie snaps. “I don’t need more things that happened to me, I was fine with it and I don’t want to dig into why it might not have been fine. I like sex and I don’t have bad memories with it, so please drop it. I just wanted to say that it was nice that I was considered, not go to therapy about it. I’m just usually on the giving side, that’s what I was commenting on. I’m not just a notch on your belt, you’re not doing this to tell your friend that you slept with King Steve. That is what’s nice. I first slept with someone when I was fifteen and it was a stupid dare. People liked me for it, so I didn’t care. And I’ve never thought about it more than that. So, please, Eddie, drop it.”

“Okay,” Eddie gives in.

“Really?” Stevie is happy he drops it as asked, but a bit surprised it was that easy.

“Yeah, it’s not my place to push,” Eddie says. “If you don’t want to talk about it, then I’m not going to force you. As long as you promise to tell me if whatever we’re doing makes you feel weird. I’m literally begging you here. Don’t think that’s okay.”

And he looks so honest about it, like he can’t bear it, which makes Stevie think that maybe he might be onto something.

Maybe, looking back, he might have saved his first time for later if he had the choice, because back then she still hoped that her first time would be more special than a dare. Maybe she would have been less easy in saying yes to girls who obviously just wanted to sleep with her because it was King Steve. Maybe she would have been less okay with it.

It’s not that he never wanted it. He likes sex and most of the time he did it because she wants it. But she has to admit that she sometimes did it, just because it was the natural next step for him and he couldn’t see why or how to say no.

“Yeah, I promise,” Stevie replies.

“That’s all I ask,” Eddie says. “And you know, I’m always here.”

“I know.”

“Good,” Eddie nods. They’re quiet for a second then, Eddie says: “If you ever don’t, then that’s reason for a punishment, but we still have to talk about those.”

Stevie swallows. The idea of punishment for not obeying Eddie’s orders is still a bit odd in his mind. So, she wrinkles her nose and asks: “Why do we need those? I’ll do what you say. That’s the whole point, right?”

“That is the whole point,” Eddie agrees. “However, it is an agreement between us and you can’t have all the nice things without consequences when you don’t, because then I loose control. If you can just choose not to listen without a care, then it becomes unbalanced.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Stevie agrees, because it does make sense, but he still doesn’t really know what a punishment would entail. “I just don’t really know what you mean by punishment, you know?”

Eddie nods: “That’s understandable. It really depends between people. Some implement spanking, what do you think of that?”

“Spanking?” Stevie repeats, thinking about it. Then shakes his head: “Sorry, no. I am tired of getting hit and I don’t want to associate people hitting me with people I care about and disappointing them.”

“Of course,” Eddie says, striking it through and moving on. “Time out?” The idea of getting left sends a shiver down his spine, after all the times his parents left. “That is also a no,” Eddie say striking it through when he sees Stevie’s face.

“Sorry,” Stevie mutters, feeling pathetic over the fact that she can’t even handle childish punishments.

“Don’t be sorry about that, sweetheart,” Eddie tells her kindly. “I asked you to be honest with me about your limits and you are. I’m only proud of you for that.”

The praise sends a pleasant feeling down his spine and he smiles at Eddie, bashfully thanking him for soothing the worry.

“No problem,” Eddie smiles, before saying: “What do you think about getting scolded? Writing lines?”

“Writing lines?” Stevie repeats with a chuckle, not thinking that will do anything.

“Yeah,” Eddie leans in. “Imagine, you’ve done something you should have. I’m disappointed in you and I sit you down and tell you how disappointed I am. Then I force you to sit down and write down over and over how and why you’ve disappointed me. Do you think that will feel like a punishment to you?”

Stevie swallows, thinking of how horrid she’d find that. The idea of disappointing and the continuous confrontation. In a small voice she says; “Yes, I think it will.”

“That’s decided then?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah,” Stevie nods.

“Good,” Eddie say cheerily, writing it down. “Now we still need to go over what we’re going to share and how to communicate when a scene is needed, or if we want to schedule it.”

“What do you think is best there?” Stevie asks, willing to defer to Eddie’s knowledge in the area.

“I mean, if we’re doing it to de-stress, I’d say we get some sort of schedule to make sure it can’t built up and we won’t have a situation like Christmas on our hand again,” Eddie suggest. “But we should both be able to ask for extra scene’s if we’re going through a high stress time.”

“Sounds good to me,” Stevie says. “How, uhm- How would we schedule them? Is it going to be a weekly thing or…?”

“Well, I would suggest every other week?” Eddie says. “And for the first scene I’d say three weeks from now. We can settle into a routine without the holidays, figure which days work best and how to fit it into our schedule.”

“Alright,” Stevie agrees easily.

“Now about sharing,” Eddie says. “Do you want to tell anyone about it? I mean, you have Madame Tucker to talk to, but do you want to have anyone else here?”

“Uhm, Robin at some point,” Stevie admits.

“You want to tell Robin?” Eddie sounds a bit surprised, which Stevie understands, he has let it shine through that he doesn’t want anyone in the party to know.

“I mean, yeah, but not immediately. I wanna try for a while, see if I even like it. If it helps,” Stevie explains. “If it does and it’s going to be a thing, I want to tell her. She has a key to the house and is going to be part of our life. She’s going to find out. I’d rather sit her down and explain than have her come barging in with me being out of it, you know? You cool with that?”

“Yeah, I get that,” Eddie says. “I’m more than fine with that. You need people you can turn to about these things.”

“Who do you want to tell?” Stevie asks.

“Uhm, I mean, I can also talk with Robin about these things, so her once we tell her,” Eddie shrugs.

“You- You can always also call Madame Tucker,” Stevie offers. “You might not know her as well as I do, but she knows you through me and if I ask, I’m sure she’d be fine with you calling her to talk if you need to.”

“Thanks, sweetheart. That’s really thoughtful of you,” Eddie says, making Stevie smile. “Now is there anything else you want to talk about?”

With the mention of Madame Tucker, Stevie is reminded of her words. She blushes unsure of how to bring it up, but knowing she has to. So, he says: “Uhm, yeah, I do. It’s something that Madame Tucker mentioned, you know. It’s- It’s a bit awkward though. So, you have to let me finish talking before you reply.”

“Stevie, that’s part of this. Lay it on me,” Eddie tells him.

“Okay, so, uhm, you know you’re like my soulmate, right,” Stevie decides to start there as Eddie nods. “And I love you. But like Robin. And I know I could love you romantically if I leaned into it, but I don’t now, because I don’t want to risk what we have and I never want you out of my life. But Madame Tucker said people tend to create attachments in these dynamics and to make boundaries about it. You know, for both our sakes.”

Eddie is quiet, then asks: “Are you finished?”

Stevie nods.

“Okay, so uhm, if we do this, it’s going to be platonic,” Eddie tells him. “And if you can’t let it stay platonic then that might become an issue.”

“You afraid I’ll fall in love with you, Eds?” Stevie tries to joke, a bit confused by the sudden tone shift in Eddie.

“Yes!”

“Okay, ouch,” Stevie frowns, not expecting the strong reply.

“No, not like that. I mean, yeah also like that,” Eddie trips over himself. “Ugh, what I mean is, I’m non-limerent. I don’t fall in love. I get sexually attracted to people and I have friends, but romance isn’t my thing. I don’t want you to fall in love with me, because I like being friends and I’ll never be anything other than your friend.”

Stevie thinks about it. Eddie doesn’t do romance. She’s glad she brought it up now, because that means officially shelving any romance thoughts and getting over them. He nods then looks back to Eddie, who is anxiously chewing on his hair.

“That’s okay, Eddie,” Stevie assures him. “No romance. Completely platonic. I can do that. Why didn’t you say before?”

“I mean, it’s not really important for us,” Eddie shrugs, looking away. “I found people who platonically agreed to be with me for life, you know. I didn’t think I would get that and I didn’t want to make it confusing, because, you know, I still want to fuck guys. I kind of figured it wouldn’t come up and I’d just have sex with some guys when it suited me and spend my life with you and Rob.”

“Eddie,” Stevie says softly. “This is yours to tell if you want to, but you shouldn’t have hid it because of us. We want to spend out lives with you. We care about you. We want to know you as wholly as you’ll let us. You don’t have to simplify yourself for us. You would have hated it if I never said a thing about my gender, even if it might be a bit confusing to most. Those same rules apply to you, you idiot.”

At the words Eddie smiles and ducks his head, softly whispering: “Well, when you put it like that…”

“I’m known to be right from time to time,” Stevie rolls his eyes. “Now, thank you for telling me and trusting me with that. I’ll respect you.”

“And you won’t develop feelings?” Eddie asks.

“I won’t, trust me. And if I do, I’ll get over them,” Stevie assures him. “Trust me on that too. Did I ever tell you what prompted Robbie to come out to me?” Eddie shakes his head. “I confessed my love to her.”

“No!” Eddie exclaims in disbelieving delight.

“Yes!” Stevie laughs. “It was so awkward, but I got over her and now I can’t imagine loving her like that. Trust me when I say that we’ll be fine.”

“I trust you,” Eddie says, still smiling. Then adds: “But that’s slightly hilarious.”

“I know,” Stevie grins. “She bullied me about it for months after. I just got her to stop when we met you, actually.”

“The joke’s kinda on her though. Since you are dating now,” Eddie points out with a laugh.

Stevie snickers too and agrees: “I mean, technically.”

Then the two fall quiet for a second, before Eddie asks: “So you know I’ve said that this could become sexual if you want to – obviously not immediately, we still have to find out if you’re even into it and if you are I’d want you to get used to it or if you want that – but can you do that? You know, fuck platonically? Because otherwise we can drop that topic right now.”

Stevie blushes a bit. She can’t deny she hasn’t thought about sleeping with Eddie, but admitting it is something else, even though they’ve already talked about it. Sort of. He says: “No, I can do that. I- I might want that.”

Eddie narrows his eyes and asks: “Are you sure? Could you, like, fuck Robin platonically? Because I don’t-”

“I could.”

“What?” Eddie chokes, sounding surprised.

Stevie shrugs: “I could fuck Robin platonically. And I would. If she wanted a kid and the government is shit about because she’s gay, I’d fuck her. I mean, it would be really fucking awkward and uncomfortable for both of us, because I’m not attracted to her like that and she definitely wouldn't be into me, but I’d do that for her.”

The words register by Eddie. Stevie sees how he double takes, then realizes, before nodding: “That kind of makes sense.”

“Trust me about it now?” Stevie asks.

“Yeah, sorry,” Eddie says sheepishly.

“It’s okay,” Stevie smiles. She can understand wanting to be sure no one will use you for something you don’t want them too, or feeling something about you that makes you uncomfortable. “Besides, we can circle back to it later, when it comes up again.”

“Circle back,” Eddie snorts, before saying: “That sounds good to me.”

“Cool,” Stevie says.

There’s a short silence again, then Eddie slides the papers with all his notes to the other side so that Stevie can take them and asks: “Can you check it over and see if everything is okay?”

Stevie does, carefully reading through things that make her want to crawl into a hole and hide away forever, while also filling her with longing and excitement. Once he’s done he slides it back to Eddie and declares: “Looks all good to me.”

“Nice,” Eddie smiles. “Then we’re planning in three weeks and letting it go for now. Lets get to bed, I always forget how long this takes and I’m exhausted. You don’t have a morning shift tomorrow, right?”

“Fuck no,” Stevie says. “I will perish otherwise.”

They get ready for bed and go to sleep. Stevie wakes up at some point, but it’s easier to get back to sleep with Eddie grumbling as he snuggles into Stevie, trying to get away.

Of the course of the next three weeks, they fall into a rhythm. On Mondays they have nothing going on in the evenings, but on Tuesdays Robin eats at their house, while on Wednesdays Stevie still calls with Madame Tucker, then on Thursdays Wayne eats dinner with them or they eat at Wayne’s, with Robin joining as often as she can, Fridays remain DnD nights, while movie nights are held on Saturdays, though Stevie and Eddie often end up eating with the Byers-Hopper’s on Saturdays even when there is no move night, while Sunday evenings are all to themselves, but Stevie does go running with Lucas on Sunday mornings.

During the day they have work and trade off driving the kids whenever necessary based on who works what shift on what day.

Stevie cooks for them, while Eddie does the dishes. The laundry is done by Eddie, but Stevie does the sweeping, mopping and tidying up. Just like Stevie cleans the kitchen and fridge, while Eddie does the toilets.

It works for them, it’s comfortable and the house is truly starting to feel like home.

The shoes they wear most often don’t stay neatly in the rack but in front of it, Eddie’s guitar moves to next to the sofa, Robin’s books scatter around and Stevie’s door gets a lock to keep out nosy teens during DnD night, so that they won’t stumble across the vanity with telling pictures and scattered makeup.

And before she really knows it, Eddie is asking her if the last Sunday of January, the 25th, works for him to do their first scene. Neither of them have the morning shift on Monday and after the weekend of being out of the house, both the kids and Robin aren’t likely to be there.

Stevie is both a little scared and excited as he nods, asking if he needs to prepare anything for it or not and if Eddie wants to share what he can expect. To which Eddie asks: “Would it help knowing what I’ll do?”

Because Eddie knows Stevie likes being surprised with DnD, but also likes to know general plans when they’re doing something. Stevie answers: “A general idea would be nice, but I don’t need to have details or something.”

“It’s going to be something light,” Eddie tells him. “I’m not doing anything extreme, it’ll be close to normal hanging out. You might not even sink into subspace.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Stevie frowns.

“Yeah, but it isn’t a guarantee so early on,” Eddie says. “Last time you went there it was on accident and I don’t know if I can recreate getting you down. I’ll try, of course, but it may take us a might take us a few sessions to figure it out.”

“Okay,” Stevie nods, thinking about it for a second. It’s like learning someone’s buttons, won’t be perfect on first try.

“Want more information?” Eddie asks.

“Nah.”

“Good,” Eddie replies and that’s for the rest of the next few days.

Stevie vaguely wonders about it and talks about it with Madame Tucker (he’d introduced Eddie over the phone the first Wednesday after that call after she said she doesn’t mind him talking to her about it, but so far he hasn’t called yet). Other than that, he tries not to think about it, afraid that if she does, she’ll back out due to nerves.

Sunday, Robin sends him a few looks, noticing something is a bit off with him, but he manages to survive the double shift on one of the busiest days.

He brings Robin to her house, kissing her cheek goodbye, before driving home, not bothering to put on music as she tries to recenter herself. She’s still nervous, but today was rough with a few yelling customers, so she’s glad that she’ll hopefully de-stress.

When entering the house, he is greeted with Eddie meeting him at the door. With that warm tone from Christmas, Eddie greets: “Hey there, sweetheart. Rough day?” Stevie nods. “Here, let me help you.”

Eddie helps Stevie out of his coat, before kneeling down and undoing his laces, gently sliding off his shoes. When he gets up, he pushes him towards their room ordering him to put on his pajamas, ending with: “Then be good and come back.”

Stevie isn’t sure she likes it yet, but dutifully goes to do as she’s told. He slides out of his works clothes and puts on an outfit that she feels comfortable and confident in.

He bought it in the city when visiting Madame Tucker. A Christmas present to himself that he hasn’t found the right opportunity for. It’s a light pink satin pajama set with long sleeves and legs and it makes him feel delicate and soft, while also just being a pajama set.

Still, she’s a little self conscious about it when she gets back to the kitchen, smoothing down the fabric and not really looking at where Eddie is standing just yet.

“Wow, look at you, so pretty and soft for me, princess,” Eddie practically whistles as Stevie comes in, making him blush as a pleasant feeling creeps over his spine.

Eddie isn’t necessarily cooking, but he’s making a plate with things, though he’s obscuring his view of it. Stevie isn’t sure what to do next, so she just stands in the kitchen.

However Eddie has plans for her. Once he sees her standing there, he orders: “Go kneel on the pillow next to the couch. Try to get comfortable, sweetheart, because you’re going to be there for a while.”

Stevie still isn’t sure how he’ll feel about the kneeling, but she has decided to give this a try, so she’s just going to lean into it.

He hadn’t noticed it when he came home, but Eddie has made a little comforting nest on the couch – well, near the couch – for them. There is a pillow right near where Eddie prefers to sit with a blanket semi-folded on it to pad it out a bit more, while all the other pillows and blankets are within reach of the seat where Eddie will be sitting.

A little self conscious he sits down on the pillow, kneeling like he’d been instructed to do. It takes a moment of shifting before the position is comfortable. However, once he is comfortable, the tiredness from today slams into him again and he slumps a bit, glad to just be sitting without having to worry about dinner.

She isn’t sure if Eddie does it on purpose or if the timing is off, but Stevie sits there for quite a bit as Eddie finishes up. Though she doesn’t mind watching him dance around the kitchen through sleepy eyes.

Once he is done, Eddie turns around with a grin, holding the plank-turned-tray which is filled with food that Stevie doesn’t put much effort into identifying.

Eddie spots Stevie and just looks at him for a moment. It feels as if he’s admiring a very nice view and Stevie shivers, blushes, then looks away. But Eddie isn’t having it, that warm commanding tone saying: “Look at me, sweetheart.”

Before she’s aware of it, she’s meeting his eyes again, feeling embarrassed and thrilled under the attention as they keep eye contact while Eddie crosses the room.

He sets down the tray, before stopping to card a hand through Stevie’s hair real quick – though he luxuriates in the feeling off Stevie’s soft strands under his fingers – then walks over to the TV to put in a VHS tape.

It’s The Breakfast Club, like Eddie said on Christmas.

After pressing play, Eddie finally sits down on the couch. When he notices Stevie has kept his eyes on him like instructed instead of on the movie, he smiles softly and says: “You’re a natural, aren’t you, princess?”

Unsure if she’s allowed to speak (something that sends a thrill through her, the idea of not even having to think about responding), she nods, a bit hesitant.

“Yes, you are,” Eddie agrees. “So good for me.” Then moves to lay the law of the land. “Tonight, you are not to speak, unless I ask for a reply or you want to tap out. Green is all is good, yellow is pause and talk, while red is a hard stop. Repeat those back to me.”

Dutifully Stevie repeats: “Green is all is good, yellow is pause and talk, while red is a hard stop,” glad for the reminder after the time that has passed since they last discussed it.

“Good,” Eddie nods. “Now, rest your pretty head right here, sweetheart.” Eddie pats one of his thighs, which are bracketing Stevie, so Stevie does, feeling less weird about it and more relaxed as she sinks into it. “Good, so good,” Eddie praises again and it sends zings over Stevie’s back. “Just focus on the movie, princess, and eat what I give you. No need for you to think or do anything but sit and be pretty for me.”

The instructions sound very easy and that’s all Stevie cares about right now. Like Eddie said, he doesn’t have to speak or think. It’s nice after the busy day.

For a while they just watch The Breakfast Club in silence. Eddie has rested his hand on Stevie’s scalp and is slowly massaging it, running fingers through his hair and scratching gently here and there.

Stevie has always adored people who play with her hair. She rarely lets people, because she has an image, but it’s so soothing and he can feel his head grow heavy against Eddie’s leg. He watches the movie through hooded eyes, not really registering any of it.

It’s getting a little fuzzy for Stevie already, but she isn’t sure if it’s subspace or exhaustion. Though she decides not to think about it, she isn’t allowed.

Eddie’s hand in his hair tightens slightly and Stevie pays a little bit more attention to the colors on the screen being people and therefore sees Eddie’s hand with a piece of sandwich come to his mouth.

“Eat,” is all Eddie says and after a slow blink Stevie opens his mouth and allows Eddie to plop the bit of food in.

And it’s at that point that Stevie realizes it might be working and he might be under further than either of them expected. She’s feeling fuzzy in a nice way and the whole world has slowed and his mind is nicely blank.

Eddie continues to feed him cut up sandwiches, cheese pieces, grapes and chips, while petting his hair with his other hand. The Breakfast Club plays in the background, but Stevie barely manages to follow along, mostly just letting the noises and colors wash over him as she focuses on the sensations of the pillow under her knees and Eddie’s scratchy jeans under his cheek, comfortably cocooned in the familiar scent of motor oil and sweat, the weed smell having morphed into smoke throughout the time together.

Time slows down around her. She feels a bit like she’s seeing the world through a thick layer of molasses. All his limbs feel heavy, like on the edge of sleep, yet he is fully awake, albeit a little distant mentally.

At some point they finish the food with Eddie offering him the last few grapes that Stevie eats with no problem, causing Eddie to say: “You ate it all, well done. I’m proud of you. You’re being so good for me.”

The words cascade down Stevie’s body like a warm syrup and she lets out a soft little hum, nuzzling closer into Eddie thigh.

Eddie lets out a little fond laugh at the gesture and pets Stevie’s hair again. He mutters a few more praises and doubles his hair petting efforts, much to Stevie’s delight, who feels like he’s melting through the floor.

They finish the movie like that and when the credits roll, Eddie leans over him, so that he can see Stevie’s face.

Stevie tries to focus on him, but like everything else, it remains just out of his reach. Though he can see how Eddie’s face stretches into a smile, eyes full of awe, which makes her flush, before Eddie breathes: “God, you truly are beautiful like this, princess.”

She can feel the blush spreading over her cheeks, face contorting into a soft pleased expression, which she tries to hide in Eddie’s thigh.

“Nuh-uh,” Eddie tuts. “Eyes on me, sweetheart.”

There is embarrassment swirling around in her veins as she looks back, but also warmth and safety, like some weird hormonal cocktail that gets set off by things she never would have guessed about herself.

Eddie is still smiling softly when he turns, cupping his cheek with his rough and big hand as he warmly says: “There she is.”

The words send another round of fuzzy feelings through Stevie’s body, but this time he keeps looking at Eddie. Eddie, who is holding his face so gently, like he is something priceless and worth treasuring. Eddie, who looks so pleased with her reactions as well as delighted.

“Give me a color, sweetheart,” Eddie orders.

It takes a moment, before Stevie remembers the colors, then a moment longer before he finds his tongue to speak. Throughout it all Eddie stays still only starting the petting up again when Stevie has croaked out a: “Green.”

“When I ask you a question I like you to be respectful when you talk to me, sweetheart,” Eddie tells him with a little tug on his hair. “Now, I didn’t say so before, so you get a pass this time, but next time I ask you a color you say ‘Green, Eddie,’ or ‘Yes, Eddie,’ is that clear?”

Stevie swallows and replies: “Yes, Eddie.”

“Just like that, good job, princess,” Eddie smiles, soothing the sting of his earlier tug. “If you forget, you get a strike. If you have three strikes, you’re getting punished. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Eddie,” Stevie replies, enthralled by Eddie’s eyes and wanting to do as the other is telling her, like there is nothing more important, like there is nothing else for Stevie to focus on or worry about right now.

“Good,” Eddie says with a satisfied nod. “Now, you’ve been sitting on your knees for a bit and while you look like you’re enjoying yourself, for the first time I think this is enough.”

Stevie can’t help the small disappointed noise he lets out at that. Sure, his knees are starting to ache, but it’s a nice ache and she feels so comfortable where she is now, surrounded by Eddie. He really doesn’t want to move.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Eddie chuckles at the noise, though he also sounds a bit like he has been punched or something, adding: “You truly are a marvel. But pretty noises aren’t going to help you. Be good and hold yourself up, princess.”

A part of Stevie wants to protest again, however, the part that wants to be good wins out, so with Eddie helping, he gets back upright. It takes a moment, but with a few blinks the world becomes a little sharper and it’s easier to sit. She is still surrounded by the fuzzy float-y feeling, just feels a little cold without Eddie surrounding him, shivering and pouting slightly.

“Poor baby,” Eddie coos at his face. “I’m so mean, aren’t I? Making you sit all by yourself.”

Stevie could agree. He isn’t pleased with the fact that he’s now sitting by himself, but Eddie made her do it out of concern. Eddie isn’t mean. He’s a softie. So, she quietly says: “No, Eddie.”

Eddie lets out a strangled noise in turn, booping his nose as he says: “God, you’re too cute, Stevie, my princess.”

Princess is far from a new pet name, but the possessive ‘my’ is definitely new. And Stevie definitely likes it, feeling heat rush over his face.

She’s sure Eddie notices, but he gracefully doesn’t comment. Instead he surprises Stevie with the strength he developed at his mechanics job as he lifts Stevie from the floor and into his lap without any issue.

Stevie is not afraid to admit he lets out a little yelp and clings tightly to Eddie as he does.

As a reply, Eddie noses his neck and softly apologizes, kissing Stevie’s cheek. Before manhandling Stevie so that he is sitting on Eddie’s right leg, her own legs thrown over Eddie’s left. In this position Eddie can massage his knees, which had obviously been the point.

Now that she’s getting attention like this, she has to admit that Eddie was right. His legs get pins and needles as the blood flow returns properly and his bones appreciate the lack of weight on them. She also gets an uncapped water bottle and the orders to drink it, only now realizing that he’s thirsty.

He finds herself melting into Eddie’s side, resting his cheek on Eddie’s shoulder and slowly blinking as she watches Eddie left hand massage her legs, the other wrapped around his shoulders to pull him close, slowly sipping the bottle.

Eddie keeps up the movements, softly whispering compliments and comments into Stevie’s ear as he does. Until Stevie’s legs are beyond feeling normal and the pressure and massage feels nice, good, great even.

She’s not aware of her pleased little noises until Eddie laughs softly and asks: “Feeling good there, sweetheart?”

“Hm?” Stevie hums, before it registers and he lazily blinks and slowly says: “Yes, Eddie,” an unhurried grin breaking out on her face.

“That’s good,” Eddie smiles, humor twinkling in his eyes, taking the empty bottle from Stevie. “But we’re going to move again now, princess.”

“Nooo,” Stevie whines burying his head in Eddie’s shoulder and trying to hide away in Eddie’s embrace, which is a stupid place if one is trying to thwart Eddie’s plan of moving, but Stevie isn’t thinking very straight so he cuts himself some slack

“Stevie,” Eddie’s tone is warning and he tightens the hand in Stevie’s hair, which makes her gasp, as Eddie informs her: “That’s strike one. Not to mention that you disobeyed. I’m disappointed, sweetheart, you were doing so well. What happened?”

A coldness creeps through him at the idea of disappointing Eddie and she can’t shake the dismayed and saddened tone Eddie used when he scolded him. A few tears spring into his eyes and he quickly says: “I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m so sorry. I’ll do better, I promise, Eddie.”

Eddie hums thoughtfully at the words, before he sternly ordered: “Look at me, princess.”

Teary eyed Stevie does as he’s told, miserably wrenching herself from the warmth of Eddie’s neck and side as he shyly looks at the man. He lets Eddie study her closely, while attempting to blink away the tears before they can fall, not wanting to look as pathetic as she feels. The fuzziness dissipating slightly.

“Color, sweetheart?” Eddie asks.

“Green,” Stevie whispers after a second. He still feels warm just a little more aware and he doesn’t want to back out to merely avoid facing consequences especially when he’s still so comfortable on Eddie’s lap.

“Thank you,” Eddie says kindly, before turning stern again. “Care to tell me why you’re back talking me, sweetheart?” Stevie swallows looking away. “Nu-uh, eyes on me,” Eddie snaps and the fuzzy feeling is returning.

Stevie’s eyes snap to Eddie’s, then he bites her lip, before admitting: “I- I’m comfortable, I don’t want you to let me go, Eddie.”

Eddie studies his face closely, the stern face turning amused though it still carries that mean edge clearly. When he speaks again, it’s almost mocking, as he tuts: “Princess, I never mentioned letting you go, now did I? But you’re just so far gone, aren’t you? No thoughts, just like I said. But that’s what I’m for. I’m making the decisions, remember you silly little thing?”

She’s sure she must have big eyes as she looks at Eddie, the condescension making him blush and squirm. Embarrassment burns hot through him, but she also sinks into it, into that sweet mockery nodding along to Eddie’s words. Because Eddie had told him not to think, which is exactly what he did.

“My normally smart princess, so dumb now,” Eddie taunts her. “You need me to tell you what you do, don’t you? The moment you start thinking, it goes wrong, doesn’t it?”

Stevie nods.

“Words, princess. That’s strike two.”

“Yes, Eddie,” Stevie obediently says.

“Yes, indeed,” Eddie agrees in the same condescending tone. “So, you are going to stop thinking, because that’s what you’re supposed to do and you’re going to be sweet and pretty for me. And in turn, I will give you a second chance to be good for me. Do you want to?”

“Yes, please, let me be good for you, Eddie,” Stevie pleads, he can’t deny that it’s anything but a plea, her voice slightly whiny.

Eddie’s face softens and he kisses Stevie’s cheek again, before whispering: “I believe you, princess. Now hold on.”

Stevie makes a confused noise, yelping as she is lifted into the air, cradled in Eddie’s arms as he effortless carries her to the bedroom. Throughout the journey Stevie relaxes into his arms, marveling at Eddie’s strength that he hadn’t notices before.

When they get there, he asks: “We’re going to cuddle. Color?”

“Green, Eddie,” Stevie answers, because cuddling on the bed sounds very very nice right now.

“Good, well done, princess. I knew you could be so good for me,” Eddie praises and warmth spreads through Stevie alongside a pleased smile as she snuggles closer to Eddie.

It takes a second to get them positioned, but in the end Eddie is sat up against the headboard on a throne of pillows, with Stevie using him as a pillow. Because Stevie is between his spread legs, cuddling into his chest and letting Eddie play with his hair again.

Eddie has planned this, Stevie distantly notes, because the pillows had already been arranged and Eddie pulls out a brush from somewhere and works out the last of the knots, before twisting his fingers until a braid starts to form in Stevie’s long hair.

Stevie is thrilled that this a thing that can be done now. He’s not as good at doing his own hair now that it’s no longer what she has always done, but she’s been managing. However, this is very exciting and she can’t help the little noises that make Eddie laugh fondly.

When Stevie’s hair is fully done, Eddie manhandles him until she’s leaning against his chest with her back, Eddie’s arms wrapped around her middle.

“We’re coming back up now,” Eddie tells him softly, rubbing Stevie’s arms and sitting them both upright.

And while Stevie likes floating, she feels settled and rested and is willing to follow Eddie where he wants her to go. So, she nods: “Yes, Eddie,” and tries to blink the world into better focus.

Behind him, Eddie lets go of the explicit warm tone he used before for his regular voice and starts talking about his day, giving Stevie a sound to follow back. He only focuses on the funny, keeping it lighthearted until Stevie is nodding along.

Then he pulls out a selection of tapes and says: “I want you to pick a tape, sweetheart,” he tells her, not commanding, but requesting.

Stevie sorts to the tapes, smiling when he sees that most of them are his taste. So, she picks an ABBA’s tape, knowing Eddie isn’t going to give her shit about it right now.

Indeed, Eddie snorts and rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything as he puts it on, swaying the two of them to the music and singing along in a silly voice. It makes Stevie laugh, not yet feeling like singing along himself yet.

Though, he feels himself coming back to himself, grounded by the music and Eddie’s warm presence.

When Eddie notices, he turns the volume down and asks: “How are you feeling, princess?”

“Good,” Stevie smiles and it’s the truth. Her brain feels less frazzled and the exhaustion she felt clinging to her when he got home has been turned into a nice sleepiness.

“Are you still floating?” Eddie asks.

“A little,” Stevie admits, feeling too mellow to be truly all the way back, “but it’s nice.”

“If I leave you to get a little bit of food, will you be okay by yourself?” Eddie asks, tacking on. “It’s okay to say no, sweetheart, I don’t mind.”

Stevie thinks, he’s very comfortable where he is on the bed, but tries to picture laying there without Eddie. It doesn’t sound like the best, but he thinks he can manage for a little. So, he asks: “Will you be quick?”

“Like lightning,” Eddie promises.

“Okay then,” Stevie agrees.

Eddie untangles himself from Stevie and rushes out the room. The door is still open and Stevie can hear him scrambling around the kitchen, which makes him laugh. The fact that he can still hear Eddie is comforting and helps until he gets back.

He hands her a chocolate bar, which she eats under his watchful eyes. Once it is gone, he smiles at her and says: “You did really well. I’m very impressed, Stevie.”

Stevie blushes and looks away, find it a bit awkward in hindsight, as she mutters: “I just sat there and I messed up.”

“You didn’t mess up at all,” Eddie says. “I promise you. Sure, I would have preferred if you communicated that you didn’t want to be let go through the system, but I am glad you said something. No one’s perfect, but we make it work the best we can.”

“If you say so,” Stevie shrugs, not willing to admit the words soothed him.

“I do say so,” Eddie grins. “Now, I’m not going to ask you a full review yet, I’ll wait until we’re more rested to get into it. However, I do want to check in, okay? Get a feel for how you’re doing right now. You went under pretty deep.”

Again Stevie blushes and nods: “Yeah, I, uhm- I didn’t really expect it, but it was nice. I feel more settled and a good tired now.”

“Rough day?” Eddie asks.

“Just long and a few angry customers,” Stevie shrugs. “It was okay, but not the best. Robin was nice.”

“That’s nice, sucks about the customers,” Eddie says. “You good to get ready for bed? We can sleep in tomorrow and if you brush your teeth, I’ll cuddle you all you want.”

“You always cuddle me, even if I don’t brush my teeth,” Stevie points out with an eye roll, but lets Eddie hoist her up to her feet.

“Rude,” Eddie replies, but he’s smiling.

“But true,” Stevie says.

“Shut up,” Eddie laughs and Stevie does, though not before sticking out his tongue at Eddie.

They brush their teeth and go through their standard nighttime routine. Stevie leaves in the braid, however, liking how it looks and hoping it’ll give him those nice waves you see in magazines from time to time.

In bed, Eddie doesn’t hesitate to hug her close like they always do, burying his head in Stevie’s hair before murmuring: “God, these pajamas are nice, fucking hell.”

“You like them?” Stevie asks, a bit self conscious, even if Eddie complimented them before.

“I do. They’re soft and pretty,” Eddie soothes the worry anyway and snuggles closer, the two of them letting sleep take them under.

A/N:

Am I bad at communicating and do I get embarrassed? Yes. But it is important, so here I am, making Stevie embarrassed too, because it is important to try <3

I realize the negotiation might not be the most interesting, but I wanted to write it, so sucks to suck xp and we do also have a scene in there

Also, aroallo Eddie rights, which is what non-limerent meant. It was coined in the 1970s and is the precursor to aromantic! I thought that was pretty cool :D

Ngl, The Breakfast Club is one of my favorite movies, you know. It has its lesser moments as all older movies do, but it’s just easy and fun to have on, 11/10

#rr writing #tw: past dubious consent #nsft #nsft steddie #steddie #platonic steddie #genderqueer steve harrington #stranger things fic #stranger things #eddie lives au #eddie munson #steve harrington #Life Is Ours We Live It Our Way #Life Is Ours We Live It Our Way Chapter 12 #no one else is really in them so you know #not as many tags xp

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luminousvision · 1 year ago

Text

Lost and Found

Lucy and I visited Han’s pawn shop on our way home from school. For some inspiration, she said.

We opened the door to a vast assortment of trinkets, gadgets, and other former possessions, many inside glass door cabinets and others on top of them. Dust motes flooded the sunlight. The short, monk-like shopkeeper looked up from the dimly lit desk in the back. “Welcome again, girls,” Han said.

“What’s new?” Lucy asked. She inspected a porcelain tea set.

Han joined us at the front of the store. “Everything here is new,” he said.

“We saw the tea set last time,” I said.

“Yes, but it’s complete now.” He pointed to three silver spoons struggling to match two large gold ones. “They’re from an old friend of mine who used to host an intellectuals’ club. We would gather to discuss literature and politics over tea. It’s been many years.”

“What happened?” I asked.

Han looked out the front windows. “Time. Many of them are no longer with us.”

Lucy had already walked past the most eye-catching of the items placed in the front of the store. She knelt to inspect an ornate chest.

I meandered down an aisle. There was a miniature grandfather clock, ancient but still shiny. Farther down were elaborate picture frames, some scratched and rusting, all empty. I arrived at a stuffed bear.

Han’s voice followed behind me. “This teddy bear survived a house fire. They found it wet in the bathtub and said it was probably the last thing the boy did.”

I picked it up. “How did it get here?”

“His parents wanted someone to love it as much as he did. In his memory, you know? Perhaps you are the one.”

Lucy’s irritated voice interrupted us from a few aisles away. “Don’t you have anything inspiring?”

Han’s voice remained gentle. “Everything here is inspiring.”

She picked up a sparkling tiara. “I bet we should sorry for this too.”

“Not at all.” Han pushed his thin circular glasses up his nose. “This is the work of a fine crafter I was acquainted with. It was one of her last projects—she made some amazing things.”

“It’s missing a few gems here,” Lucy said.

“Well, eventually our hands can’t do what we’d like them to do, you know?”

“It’s very pretty,” I said.

“I’m glad you think so,” Han said.

Lucy shook her head. “I’ll buy it anyway,” she said. I bought the teddy bear. We left the shop and crossed the street, taking the long way home.

I clutched the teddy bear against my chest. He needed a name. I couldn’t remember if Han mentioned the boy’s name—a boy I’d never meet. Meanwhile, Lucy fussed with the tiara, making faces at it.

She put the tiara on her head and twirled on one foot. She curtsied at the passing cars.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m dancing,” Lucy said.

“Stop that. It feels wrong.”

Lucy halted mid-pose, her arms reaching for the sky. “Fine. I have a better idea,” she said. She waved to a little girl alongside her mother.

“This is for you!” Lucy said. She bent over and put the tiara on the girl’s head. “This is a magical tiara. It can make you a princess, a fairy, or even a dragon. You can be anyone and anything. Nobody can stop you.”

The girl smiled with all her little teeth. “Wow! Where did you get it?”

“It’s from Emily. Look at her! She’s already everything she wants to be. That’s why she’s smiling.”

I almost elbowed Lucy, but the little girl was looking at me with big eyes, so I hastily assembled a smile. The mother thanked us twice. The girl ran circles with the tiara and jumped with her reflection in a storefront mirror. Now that, Lucy said, is inspiration.

We arrived at the end of the street and waited for the crosswalk. I squeezed my teddy bear.

“What’s wrong?” Lucy asked.

“Nothing.”

“Emily.”

“What?”

She hugged me. The crosswalk beeped at us. Her home was that way, so I waved and took the other sidewalk into a row of newer houses. The trees were younger here.

I held the teddy bear at arm’s length. He was worn and singed on one leg. I buried my nose into his chest where I could still smell the smoke. It would never come out. But Lucy would still dance.

I abruptly turned onto the pavement of someone’s house. I sat the teddy bear against the front door and rang the doorbell. I shuffled my feet for a few seconds, but then ran away, down the street. I don’t know what came of him. Perhaps he began a new story that day, but I’m glad his old one ends here, safe and unfound.

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casspurrjoybell-20 · 1 year ago

Text

Sky Twizzlers - Chapter 20b

*Warning Adult Content*

Shadow Arrows Hurt - Part 2 - Aaron

"Um, where is my friend?" I asked.

"With my sibling," Yuki said. "They're... getting to know each other."

“Huh?”

She laughed.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. They're just taking a quick walk to introduce themselves," she elaborated.

“I see.”

"Thank you, by the way," she said. "You helped rescue Rin and gave them something more. Dragons don't mate many times in our lives but when we do, it's special."

She looked up at her lover and Minori leaned down to peck her lips. They were so cute. I hoped that I could be that comfortable and in love with my mates one day.

‘If you would get over yourself and tell them everything, maybe.’

"He's my best friend. I couldn't help myself," I mumbled with pink cheeks. "It's no big deal."

"If you say so," Yuki said with a hum. "Now, what do you plan on doing next?"

“Um...”

"We should talk to Rin and figure out how they got trapped," Evander spoke up.

"I'd like to know that as well," Yuki agreed.

And speak of the devil, I heard the front door open and I hear Erin's loud voice.

"Is Aaron up yet?"

"I couldn't possibly sleep with your loud-ass voice," I snapped but he knew I was messing around.

Evander helped me to sit up, which also made me realize I'd been laying in his lap this whole time and I faced Erin. I was surprised to see him linked hands with Rin. Wow, they move fast.

‘Wren and Joshua were like that too. So were Ryder and Marie... am I really the only abnormal one?’

"Sit down with us. We have some questions for Rin," Minori said.

Erin smiled and let Rin drag him to a loveseat. When Erin sat down, Rin sat down next to him but they were practically glued at the hip. It made me happy to see Erin happy.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Rin," I said.

They looked at me carefully.

"I'm glad I can finally meet the people who are mated to Evie," they commented.

Evie, huh? I didn't comment because I honestly didn't want to think about how weird it was that my best friend was mates with my mate's ex. Ugh, don't think about that, don't think about that.

‘You're thinking about it by trying not to...’

"Rin, what happened?" Evander spoke up. "You disappeared but I thought you were just on one of your regular trips."

Rin sighed and looked down.

"I was forcefully taken. It happened at night. I was walking to the hotel I was staying in when I was drugged and woke up chained to the parasite rock."

"Do you know who put you there?" Minori asked.

"I don't know exactly who took me but people kept visiting me to make sure I was still there. That lady and large man who were there visited often," Rin said.

"Did they discuss anything with you? Plans, leadership, important locations?" I asked.

They shook their head.

"No. I wanted to see if I could see the present and figure it out, but the constant use of my powers drained me. I barely had enough energy to contact you," they said and I internally winced.

‘Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, Erin.’

I noticed my best friend frown curiously but he let it go quickly. At least, he didn't vocally question it. Good.

"Wait, they did mention someone," they suddenly spoke up. "I'm not sure how important they are but they said something about a Father."

"Father?" Aubrey whispered. "And you never saw anyone else?"

“Um...”

"What are you avoiding, Rin?" Minori suddenly spoke up and Rin looked up at them in shock.

"What?"

"I know you. When you want to avoid me finding the truth, you use vague language. You're not telling us the truth," they accused.

The dragon was ghostly pale and looked genuinely afraid. Erin noticed and frowned.

"Don't confront them. They just got out of a very traumatic situation. We didn't grill Kit or Aubrey like this when we first met them, so why are we doing it with Rin? I don't know what you mean, Minori but I don't like you accusing my mate of lying."

Yuki straightened up in Minori's lap.

"Erin, she is simply trying to point out that Rin might not be telling the whole truth. Minori is a truth seeker. She can tell when someone is lying and will see the truth within their subconscious," she explained.

"I'm not lying," Rin whispered. "You would see if I was, Min. But, some things happened that I would rather not get into. I'm not lying about them, I'm avoiding remembering things I don't want to."

"I'm sorry," Erin murmured and reached out to grab both of Rin's hands. "We can stop talking about it if you don't want to."

Rin offered a small smile. I noticed how pained their eyes looked. They still looked genuinely afraid.

"You're safe with us," I spoke up. "You don't have to worry about them anymore."

They nodded.

"Thank you." They then turned to look at Minori, who had an unreadable expression on their face.

"Min, I know you mean well. I wasn't trying to deceive you."

They sighed.

"I'm going to be honest, Rin... I don't trust you. Not since what just happened."

What just happened? As I looked around the room, it seemed that only the dragons understood what the hell just happened. My mates and Erin looked just as confused as me, though Evander seemed to be slowly piecing it together. Figures.

"If you feel like disclosing more, please do so," Evander said. "Any information would help a lot. The Eye is becoming far too powerful."

"The Eye... you have to stop them," Rin said. "They're dangerous."

We all silently agreed.

"Well," Yuki suddenly said and clapped her hands together. "It's very late. I think we should all get some sleep and talk more in the morning."

"What time is it?" I asked.

I decided to lay back down in Evander's lap. What? He was comfy. He looked surprised when I laid back down but smiled lightly and began running a hand through my hair. It felt a little weird being so vulnerable in front of other people but Erin had seen me like this before and I honestly didn't care much what Yuki, Minori and Rin thought.

Yuki had seen way more personal stuff about me in my past, Minori didn't seem like the type to judge and a small and very jealous part of me wanted to stake my claim over Evander in front of Rin. Stupid, I know, especially since they've found their mate.

‘Maybe I should be staking my claim over Erin instead. He was my best friend first.’

"You've been out for a few hours. It's close to midnight I believe."

"Holy shit," I muttered and Evander smiled at that.

"Yes. You were out for a while. Are you still tired?"

I looked up into his eyes and noticed how dark they were.

"You're hungry," I state, with a frown and Evander raises an eyebrow.

"I asked you if you were tired, not that I was hungry."

"I'm not that tired after passing out for basically the whole day," I said.

"Do you have a blood bag?"

"No..."

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Really? You'd expect that an old vampire like you would always be prepared with an emergency blood bag."

"I'm not that old, Aaron," he huffed surprisingly childishly. "And I didn't bring it because I couldn't exactly bring a bag of blood through the airport."

"Oh... makes sense."

"I can deal with it later, don't worry. I'm more worried about you healing properly," he said. "So, why don't we get you and Aubrey to bed?"

I sat up when he indicated that he was going to stand. I made a move to stand up as well but he held a hand out to stop me.

"Your body is weak."

"It's not that week, Goddess..."

One minute I'm protesting calling my body weak, I could walk just fine, the next I'm hauled into his arms like a newlywed.

"Evander, come on, this isn't necessary," I grumbled, my ears burning.

I could feel Erin smirking. Oh, Goddess, I was never going to live this down. I glared, albeit weakly, at my mate but his gentle smile weakened my already-mild attempt at anger.

"Indulge me."

With a sigh, I crossed my arms and faced forward. I heard Aubrey's adorable giggle and I looked over at him.

"Don't laugh," I complained.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. You look too cute," he said with another fit of giggles.

‘You're cute.’

"Whatever, let's go already."

We left the house and Evander took us to some tents we'd brought along with us. Evander led Aubrey and carried me into one of the ones set up nearest to the house. Once we were inside, he gently laid me down on a large sleeping bag.

"Alright, you two should get to sleep."

"What are you going to do?" I asked him.

"I'll be right here if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm more concerned about the fact that you haven't eaten in a while. Why didn't you eat before we left if you knew bringing blood would be an issue?"

Evander sighed. I didn't care if he was already tired of my pestering. A hungry vampire wasn't something I wanted to deal with on top of all this other shit.

"If you want an honest answer, I wasn't thinking about it. I was more concerned with Rin and what was going on. I ate sometime last week and that was it," he explained.

"Evander, that isn't an excuse. You should take care of yourself," I argued.

"Says the person who almost died trying to guide their friend to their mate,” he suddenly yelled.

‘Oh shit.’

1 note · View note

sovtwords · 3 years ago

Text

a king and his pawns

pairing: kita shinsuke x reader x miya atsumu warnings: 18+, royalty!au, threesome (M/M/F), bisexuality, anal, double penetration, hand jobs, blow jobs, doggystyle, kissing with cum, dom/sub undertones, fluff, established relationship w/c: 7.7k a/n: -AO3 LINK HERE- This is a little side-story thing I wrote for a royal!au I haven't actually gotten around to writing yet so WELP. It's fine tho, this was written for Kita's bday and he deserves it. LOVE YOU!! This fic features men engaging in sexual acts together so if that ain't your cup of tea then feel free to back out if you're uncomfortable! I'm bad at writing smut anyway, you'd probably be doing yourself a favour lmao. Regardless, enjoy!! Please lemme know what you think.

Kita Shinsuke was stressed. It’s not often the King loses his cool, but it seems as though life wishes to taunt him this week. Trade with Corvus has momentarily stopped due to an internal dispute meaning the Kingdom will be low on textiles for the unforeseeable future, a sudden drought has put the crops at risk, and Ginjima continues to test his patience with every new raid on the homesteads just outside of the kingdoms border - not within where Kita can arrest him, but close enough to be a thorn in his side.

He’s so very tired and so very alone, and everyone sees it as they convene for weekly meetings. They eye him with worry, yet he shrugs off every word of concern with the grace as befitting his title, though his Masters of War and Prosperity respectively eye him the most, the worry so potent on Lady Miya’s face he feels a warmth blooming in his chest. She even dares to lay a comforting hand on her king, and he allows only her to disregard her courtesies (not that she would ever forget them) and touch him. It’s nice to be treated well.

The meeting ends, and Kita is so close to retiring to his balcony to rest for a while until he notices that the happily married couple stay. “Ya alright there, Kita?” Atsumu asks, opting to drop all formalities and talk as friends like when they were younger. Kita’s glad for it.

“I’m fine,” he lies, and knows it wasn’t very convincing with the way they stare in disbelief. “Things are just tense right now. I’m sure we’re all feeling it,” he elaborates. Lady Miya takes his hand in hers once more, small fingers gripping tightly onto his. He keeps his eyes trained on them.

“That’s right, but you don’t have to burden this alone. It’s why you have your council. And you don’t have to hide anything from us. We’re here to listen to you, my King, so please – share your worries with us, so that you might feel better.”

Ah. His heart clenches with affection, and a soft smile grows on his face when he looks at the earnestness in your gaze, thumb idly stroking your fingers and momentarily forgetting that your husband is still in the room, sitting just to his left. But it’s so easy to forget that when his attention is focused on the right of the table, when Atsumu himself hasn’t said a word when normally he would screech if anyone dared get chummy with his wife, King or not.

“Thank you, my Lady. It warms my heart to know that you care so deeply,” he says carefully, pulling back with a quiet sigh. “But I’m fine, truly. I find that reading the books that you gifted to me helps me to relax.”

“I know another way ya might relax,” Atsumu interrupts before his wife gets sucked into a long conversation about stories.

“What is it?”

“Well, it’s something more suited for behind the doors of your chambers, if ya catch my drift,” Atsumu smirks, while his Lady looks appalled. Kita feels the tips of his ears burn but keeps his expression as stony as ever.

“That’s crude, Atsumu. And you know that I’m averse to…” he trails off awkwardly, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. Atsumu laughs.

“I know ya don’t take concubines. But that doesn’t stop ya from reading the spicier books in the library, does it?”

“What’s yer point, Atsumu?” He asks bluntly. Better to get whatever trick he has planned over and done with. The blonde smirks, eyes shifting between himself and his wife.

“Was just wonderin’ if ya wanted a private show, that’s all. My Lady here makes for quite the spectacle. Just a way for ya to destress.”

Lady Miya gasps loudly, a blush burning on her face as she stares at her husband in complete shock while Kita’s heart stalls in his chest.

Watch his friends while they… No. That’s a boundary he should not cross. No matter how many times his eyes have slipped downwards to where your chest is pushed upwards by the corsets of your newer dresses, or how smooth your neck looked when you lean over to discuss reports with him, he…no. Such intimacy should belong in their bedroom, not his. Right?

“Atsumu, that's not a funny joke. You should watch your mouth and apologise to your wife for embarrassing her“

“Hold on now, your highness, she didn’t say no.”

Kita blinks. Looking to where she sits, he sees the obvious humiliation on her face, clear as day as the heat on her cheeks. But with it, a look of conflict, a spark of curiosity in your eyes when they lock with his.

“I…If it pleases my King, then I don’t mind. I would do anything for my King,” she says resolutely, and the way your voice grows airy every time she speaks of his title sends sparks straight to his groin. He swallows harshly, opens and closes his mouth a few times as he feels the heat of Atsumu’s smirk boring down on him. It had definitely been a while since he’d done anything of that nature, but… was this really ok?

It’s silent for what seems like forever. Eventually Kita calls out to the servant standing outside the council room.

“Find the largest chaise you can find and have it delivered to my room. I want it there by tonight.”

God’s above, save him. He was really going through with this.

- - - - - - - -

Night has fallen, the castle is quiet.

He doesn’t know how he should act. It seems as though nobody except Atsumu knows how to act, if the way Lady Miya sits with her back straight as a pillar and arms folded politely in her lap was any indication. Atsumu lounges against the chaise in front of Kita’s bed with a drink in one hand and fingers twirling through the sash of your robe in the other , waiting for either Kita or his wife to make any sort of move, though it seems as though their nerves have gotten the best of them.

“Shy, Kita?” the blonde Lord asks. Kita gives an embarrassed furrow of his brows, but stays quiet. Atsumu chuckles. “Well then. Does my King agree to let me be the one in charge tonight?”

How treacherous of Atsumu to ask, but with no real idea on how to go about this, Kita relinquishes control with a mute nod of his head. Better to let Atsumu take the reins than for him to accidentally cross a boundary he was unsure of. Atsumu downs his wine in record time, and moves to place it on a nearby dresser before returning to his Lady. He takes hold of your face with such reverence and love that Kita has to look away and swallow down the bitter jealousy swirling like bile in his gut. He hears Atsumu whisper some reassurances to you, and nimble fingers undo the sash around your waist.

You stand up at Atsumu’s request, and he takes your spot on the chaise, posted in front of the King for his viewing pleasure. “Didn’t want ya to miss this,” Lord Miya says, and swiftly loosens your robes, letting them pool around your feet and laying bare your silky and soft flesh for Kita to see. Dark eyes rove over plump breasts, wide hips and thick thighs, and he’s convinced that no concubine in the world could ever compete with the beauty standing in front of him, made all the more sweeter that you’re a coveted treasure by your husband, making Kita the only other man to ever see you like this. It makes his cock twitch in his breeches, and makes Atsumu smile devilishly because he knows the effect this is having on his superior.

Your gasp alerts him to the fingers that have slipped between your legs from behind to cup your sex, brushing against the light hair that Kita wants nothing more than to bury his face in right now. “She’s as sweet as a peach, this one,” Atsumu coos, pressing all the right buttons and gifting Kita with moans and sighs that Angels would blush to hear. “As wet as one, too. Let’s show King Kita, shall we?”

Without prodding you sit in Atsumu’s lap and allow him to spread your legs wide, and the candlelight makes the slick gathering on your cunt and thighs glisten, Kita’s brain faltering at the sight. His body grows hot with want, with need , and he nearly rips his shirt off of his body, composure slipping with each second that passes. Atsumu offered to let him watch, but now he’s not sure if he’s content to be just a bystander.

You hum and squeal when Atsumu pushes two of his fingers past your folds, pushing in and out at a gentle pace that you’re no doubt familiar with as he prepares you for greater things to come. “Yer so quiet, Kita. Are ya not enjoying yourself?”

The Lady looks at him then, a gentle pinch to her brows. “Are you…not satisfied with me, my King?”

Atsumu flashes an exaggerated pout over your shoulder. “Yeah, my King. After exposin’ my wife like this for ya, is she not enough?”

“She’s beautiful,” he chokes, clears his throat but it has little effect with how thick with lust his voice has grown. “She’s perfect.”

The smile on your pretty little face does funny things with his head.

“Ya hear that, my love?” Atsumu holds you close and rocks you side to side. “The King thinks yer beautiful. I dunno if many ladies can say that. Say thank you.”

“T-Thank you, my King. I’m honoured,” you grin. Kita gives you a small smile in return, though it falters at the edges when Atsumu catches you off guard and thrusts his fingers into you with great speed. It sounds wet and hot and Kita’s hand wraps around the bulge in his pants, stiff and begging to be touched, especially when the usually composed Lady Miya in front of him whimpers and pants like you’re in heat, moving your hips in sensual ways and locking eyes with Kita to steal the air from his lungs.

“A-Atsumu!” you gasp, wrapping a hand behind you to grasp the hair of your husband, but the smirk stays on his face, enjoying your plight. “Be gentle!”

“You love it,” he shushes you, planting kisses on your neck and biting down on your shoulder when you grow too rowdy. “Besides, we promised King Kita a good show, didn’t we? I have to prepare ya, don’t want ya cryin’ because yer tight hole wasn’t ready to be filled.”

You moan loudly when Atsumu brushes over your clitoris roughly, small hands moving to cover your mouth, and it’s the final push Kita needed to remove his trousers and take his cock in hand.

You watch in silence as he undresses, eyes immediately zoning in on the length and girth of his member, biting your lip for a different reason than when your husband removes his fingers from your core. Atsumu brings them up to the light to look at them curiously. They’re soaked from knuckle to fingertip, and when he pulls them apart tendrils of your slick keep them connected. Kita’s overcome with the desire to touch it, to touch you, see how you taste.

The smile Atsumu gives him sends chills through his body, as if his Master of War had read his mind.

“I think he wants a taste, my sweet,” Atsumu rubs soothing circles into your hip with his free hand, keeping his calculating eyes on his King. “What do you think?”

“The King can have whatever he wants,” is your answer, hiding a smile in your husband’s jawline while he laughs. Fuck, they were going to drive Kita insane. What surprises him even more, is instead of offering your pussy for Kita to lose himself in, Atsumu holds out his hand, like offering his fealty to the King once more as he had sworn so long ago.

“Then by all means, have a taste.”

There is a moment where it’s entirely too silent save for the heavy breathing Lady Miya is trying to get under control. A million thoughts run through Kita’s mind as his eyes flicker between Atsumu’s fingers, his childhood friends’ face, and the naked woman before him. It feels like entirely new territory, uncharted waters that Kita has only thought about dipping his toes into before running back out for fear of falling too deep into the water.

But in Atsumu’s eyes there's nothing but trust and desire, and in your eyes there's encouragement and adoration. His heart hammers in his chest, and burns with the overwhelming love and support from his closest. It makes his limbs move before his brain can catch up, leaning forward with his mouth opening while Atsumu’s grin grows wider, taking the digits in his mouth before hesitation can settle.

It’s strange, to suck on your best friend’s fingers, long and thick in his mouth, calloused from years of sword fighting as his tongue brushes against the pads of his fingertips. He can barely taste the saltiness of his skin though, as your sweet juices invade his senses like a summer wine, pure and sweet like the woman they came from. He grabs hold of Atsumu’s wrist when he makes to remove them, licking and scraping his teeth on them in a way that makes Atsumu’s breath hitch with widened eyes, and Kita mentally records it as a win before slowly releasing with a pop, lines of spit breaking the further away Kita gets as he takes his place on his bed once more, precum leaking from his slit.

It is Lady Miya who breaks Atsumu out of his trance with a gentle hand cupping his cheek and turning his attention back to the situation at hand. The smile on your face is light-hearted, if not mischievous, a gleam to your eye letting Kita know that you enjoyed what you just witnessed. “I think, dear husband, I’m ready to get fucked hard for the King.”

An impish grin blooms on Atsumu’s flushed face immediately at his wife’s forwardness. Honestly, Kita had never expected the Lady to be this way. You had always been on the reserved side, befitting your rank and lessons in etiquette. Quiet, polite, spoke when spoken to. If someone had told him a few years ago when Atsumu had introduced you to Kita when you were still giving the twins lessons in etiquette that he would be witnessing you in such a lewd position and answering all of the fantasies he had locked away, he would have almost laughed out loud at the absurd notion.

Funny how life works.

“Should we let his Royal Highness choose how I do it?” The blonde pushes his hair out of his eyes, and both Lord and Lady Miya look at him, eyes alight with interest.

“I…,” Kita clears his throat, brain bringing forth images of every position imaginable. He squeezes the base of his cock. Save it for the grand finale. “I want the Lady on her hands and knees facing me.”

That causes Atsumu to laugh in delight.

“Ah, takin’ her from behind, like mounting a bitch in heat,” he snorts. You pout at the language, but Atsumu kisses it away, lips pressing lightly against the bridge of your nose until you’re smiling again. “Never would’ve assumed ya liked it that way. Not very proper, is it?” Atsumu comments.

“Are you here to question your King on what he likes in bed, or are you going to deliver on your promise and show me somethin’ good?” Kita remarks.

Atsumu delivers another laugh as he lifts his wife off of his lap and places her onto the soft, cushioned chaise lounge as promised, knees spread apart and encouraging you to lean onto your elbows.

For a moment, as Atsumu undresses, he regrets not choosing a position that allows him to watch more closely as he enters in and out of you, but any complaints he has dies when Atsumu spits into his hand and rubs at his stiff member, lining it up with your entrance. Kita nearly cums all over his hand when he locks eyes with the woman across from him as Atsumu pushes in with a sigh of relief, no doubt seeking any sort of pleasure for his aching cock just like Kita. At least he has a pussy to bury himself in. King Kita just has his fist.

Your eyes flutter as Atsumu goes deeper into your tight cavern, groaning and furrowing your brows while you clutch onto the chair beneath you. You whimper when he bottoms out, and are only given a moment to adjust while Atsumu looks at Kita in question.

‘Shall I start?’, he seems to say.

Kita nods, and watches in perverse fascination as Atsumu rears his hips back and thrusts forward once more, making you choke on a scream as he sets a relentless pace, not holding anything back.

Your moans mix with yelps and screams of pleasure as your husband pounds into you from behind, round hands on soft hips and curls loosening from where they were pinned back on your head. Kita’s eyes stay glued to where your tits bounce with the force, hand finally giving him some relief and stroking his weeping cock, unwinding some of the tension in his shoulders and stoking the fire in his gut. He wants to reach out and fondle your chest, your nipples, but stays his hand, fear of crossing that damned boundary getting to him.

Atsumu is loud, he realises, almost as loud as his wife is right now. He groans and he growls like a wild animal, so overcome by the feeling of his Lady, of everything that she is, and praises fall from his lips like the water rushes down the mountain’s peaks.

“F-Fuck, yer so tight, I love it,” he grits, reaching over to grab hold of your chest like Kita wanted to do so badly. “So wet for me, for your King. Ya love getting fucked in front of him, practically beggin’ me for weeks.”

Kit almost feels as if he shouldn’t be hearing this conversation, but such crude words make him fist his cock faster, wet with precum and helping him ease the friction of hand to dick.

“A-Atsumu, I-”

“Don’t lie,” he laughs. He pinches your nippple roughly, and earns himself a gasp. “Every time ya called me yer sweet King, you were thinkin’ ‘bout him, too. Weren’t ya?”

You can say nothing, only look at your ruler with unbridled lust in your eyes. It’s getting harder to breathe now as he pumps his dick in time with his friend’s thrusts, entranced by the look on your face and Atsumu’s voice.

“Thought s-so,” Atsumu stutters when he rubs at your clit and you squeez hard. “Well, I’d do anythin’ for ya. Guess that includes fuckin’ ya silly in front of your King.”

Atsumu tsk’s and lifts your torso up so Kita can have the best seat in the house. Eyes stay glued to where they are connected, pistoning in and out of your walls and glistening with your slick. It brings forth images of wanting to get closer, let his tongue feel the both of them at once but it's so outlandish that it brings heat to his cheeks and pushes him closer to his release, chest heaving with exertion as everyone in the room reaches a crescendo like a symphony of sex.

That is until Atsumu stops abruptly, and it's so sudden and odd when the sounds of skin slapping cease that it causes everyone to lose their high, cooling down with irritation and impatience.

Atsumu's chest heaves air with great effort, yet his eyes are sharp as he regards his King.

"I think," he starts, easing out of his wife slowly, making you whine at the loss. "King Kita is lookin' a lil lonely. And it's our duty as his advisors and subjects to serve the King, right my love?"

You blink in surprise, when a smile curls at the corner of your lips, one that you definitely learned from your husband. Affection blooms on Atsumu's face at your reaction.

"We should give him a hand," the blonde declares, and suddenly he's carrying his wife over to the royal bed, laying you down gently against the rich, maroon satins and silks, hair splayed around you in rivulets like water. With equal parts curiosity and hesitation lacing his limbs, he moves further up the bed at Atsumu's insistence, coming face to face with you as you smiled kindly at him, lidded eyes and bottom lip plump from where you bite it.

He gives you one in return, one of the rare, genuine smiles he reserves for when he's with his closest and when he's happy. The sound of a throat clearing snaps his attention back to where Atsumu kneels at the end of the bed, cock bouncing against his lower stomach with every shift on the featherbed.

"Does my King allow us to do as we please with him?"

It's almost embarrassing how quickly he says yes, aching to feel the touch of something other than his own hand for once. Atsumu smirks.

“Wonderful.”

Moving closer, all three find themselves huddled in a circle of sorts, with two sets of eyes hungrily staring at him. Atsumu looks at his wife, and she stares right back. It becomes apparent to Kita then and there, that there is no imbalance between them. Though you may fold your hands when appropriate and open your mouth when addressed in broad daylight, though Atsumu’s words and hands guide you behind closed doors and you part your legs for him like a blossoming flower, they are, without a doubt, equals in every sense of the word. Atsumu gazes at you with such adoration it would give the poets something to sing about for centuries to come, and he is certain that if you were to give an order, Atsumu would bend and do it for you, no questions asked.

It’s funny - the Master of War and the Master of Prosperity; two things that could never work hand in hand, but ultimately make for a wonderful pair.

And it makes Kita’s heart yearn for even a drop, an ounce of what they share, for someone to look at him the way they do each other.

“Maybe I should give you some tips on how to go about it, my sweet,” Atsumu says, and it’s all the warning Kita gets before a large, rough hand wraps itself around his member. He jerks at the feeling, eyes wide at the blonde smirking before him, and he looks frantically at the Lady beside him who offers nothing more than a demure upturn of her lips.

“What are you doing?” demands Kita, but the words end in a choke when Atsumu’s thumb swipes over the head of his cock.

“I’m showin’ my wife how to please ya.”

“I-I think she w-would..” Kita has to stop talking to emit a whimper when Atsumu’s hand squeezes his dick. He swallows hard. “I think she would know how to please a man by now.”

“Hmm, yer right. She sure does know how to get me going, but…”

He removes his hand from Kita’s shaft for a brief moment to lift his wife’s leg, dragging a hand through your thighs and bringing it back to Kita’s erection, now slick with his wife’s juices and providing smoother friction.

“No harm in remindin’ her of the lessons. Watch carefully, love.”

It moves expertly up and down his length, knowing when to twist and squeeze, when to go fast and slow. Kita’s hips jerk up into Atsumu’s hand, unable to help the sighs and moans flying out from his chest. It feels good, so so so good, and a softer, more feminine pair of hands scrape gently over his chest, toying with his pert nipples and sending sparks straight down to his groin.

“He seems to like that,” you whisper, pressing your lips to the pulse in his neck. Kita is positive it must be ready to burst from his skin right now, yet still you suck and nip and paint his skin in the most delicate hues while your husband’s hand increases in speed. His other hand reaches down to fondle Kita’s balls, heavy and begging for release. Whines and whimpers grow louder as he approaches that sweet edge.

Atsumu hums. “He’s got a pretty cock, doesn’t he, my love? I bet you’re just drippin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it inside ya. Hungry for another man's dick.”

You shiver from your spot beside Kita, a hand scratching at his scalp and sending tingles down his spine, and a pink tongue poking out to lick at his nipples.

“P-Please…” Kita begs.

“Well, ’m hungry myself,” Atsumu continues, and swiftly dips down to take the head of Kita’s cock into his mouth, sucking hard while his hand never ceases its upwards and downwards motion. It's wet and hot, and the swirling of Atsumu's tongue around his tip, lapping up the precum that had gathered is enough to make Kita moan aloud in surprise and pleasure. His face glowing red as he desperately thrusts into Atsumu's mouth but his brain is too clouded with lust to feel embarrassed at this moment.

His fingers grip onto rich bed sheets as he loses himself in the heat of Atsumu’s mouth, that mischievous tongue of his being put to good use and stroking the vein on the underside of his prick before bobbing up and down in time with his hand. It’s almost overwhelming, feeling tongues on different parts of his body but it feels glorious, to have these mouths worship and love him like he craves but never says aloud.

It feels like Atsumu’s mouth is barely on him for a moment before Kita is grasping onto the nearest things he could latch onto, Atsumu’s head of hair and your hand conveniently already in his, and he holds onto both for dear life as he cums with a loud and long groan, releasing into his friends mouth with surprise and twitching with the aftershocks when Atsumu keeps him in his mouth for a tad too long.

“T-Too much, please,” he stutters, and Atsumu takes pity on him for the time being, laughing at how wild and unkempt his King looks right now.

“I guess you’ll have to test out yer skills next time. Come here,” hands reach for his Lady’s face, and he lets drops of Kita’s cum still in his mouth fall into your own open and awaiting jaws, sealing it with a kiss that’s all tongue and wildness. The perverse sight of them sharing his fluids makes his cock twitch to life again with alarming speed, but it’s also the words echoing in his ears that stick with him.

Next time. Implying that this won’t be a once off thing, a strange night to remember for years to come.

It makes him hard in seconds, even after spilling his seed in his friend's mouth.

If the couple beside him are surprised at his recovery time, only Lady Miya shows it with a raise of your eyebrows in pleasant surprise.

“Do you wish for more, my King?” you ask, traces of his load shining on the corners of your lips. He stops himself from reaching over to lick it off.

“Yes,” Kita sighs, and his chest seems to deflate with the motion, his words needy and wanting. “Please - keep going.”

“What do you want? Anything for you,” your hand cups his face with such gentleness he could cry. How sad it must be, for the simple touch of a person could be enough to shake him.

“I n-need you, I want you on top of me-” he has to stop himself with a sharp intake of breath. Eyes wide with fear look over to where Atsumu sits, a uncharacteristically stoic look on his face that makes Kita’s anxiety flare up. After a moment of silent contemplation, he opens his mouth.

“Does my King command it?”

It offers Kita a moment to rethink his words, to retrace his steps before they were taken. And as he looks at the faces of his friends for any signs of discomfort, looks at you for clear rejection, he sees no hesitation or resistance in either of their expressions. Only eagerness, anticipation for what could come. It strengthens his resolve.

“He does,” Kita says, with the air and grace of the King in power he is. And Atsumu grins like that cat who got the cream.

“Perfect,” he sings. “Lay back, yer Grace. Let us do everythin’ for ya.”

Doing as told, Kita finds himself a comfortable spot against the pillows and cushions, cock resting hard on his belly and watching as Atsumu coaxes his wife to straddle his hips. Hands fly instinctively to the squishy flesh of your hips and thighs, smooth like satin, and his grip on you only grows tighter once he feels just how wet you are, practically dripping onto his lower abdomen. It drives him mad with excitement, knowing he’s seconds away from shoving himself into your tight hole.

“Go on,” Atsumu encourages when you look back at him in question. “I’ll help ya when ya need me.”

Biting your lip, you peer down at Kita.

“I’m ready,” he assures you with a squeeze of your hips. You reach down to grab his member and he hisses when you pump him a few times, dragging it up and down your soaked folds. He worries his bottom lip at the sensation, and just when he gets used to it you line him up with your entrance and begin to sink down on him, ever so slowly.

He loses the ability to breathe when your warm heat engulfs him. His eyelids flutter, his toes curl, and they haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. Atsumu hums in approval when you finally sink down, hips flush with Kita’s, sighing in unison. You can’t help the grinding of your hips, trying to accommodate his size and girth, but it makes him growl and still your hips. “Give me a second,” he pleads. And you do, leaning down to give him his first kiss of the night. He can taste himself on your tongue, taste Atsumu along with him, and your tongues tentatively brush and move against each other as you grow accustomed to the feeling of your lips on the others.

He catches his breath when you pull away, blinking out of a stupor, and it seems as though Atsumu has had enough with waiting, for he clears his throat loudly. “Ready to get started?” They both nod. “Good.”

With that said, Atsumu holds on tightly to your hips, hands over Kita’s that stay locked on your flesh, and begins to slowly lift you off of his cock, only to push right back down. Kita groans at the fluttering of your gummy walls around him, head thrown against the pillows while Atsumu increases the speed and pace with which he picks his wife's body up, getting you into a mindblowing rhythm and bouncing you on Kita’s member.

Atsumu certainly dictates the speed and rhythm right now, and the coil in Kita’s gut begins to make a reappearance with every clench of your pussy around him. You’re both at the mercy of Atsumu, who alternates between stealing the air from Kita’s lungs with bringing your hips down hard and fast, or slowly and maddeningly gyrating your hips so that Kita presses against every spot inside of you, massaging that sweet, spongy flesh hidden deep inside that has you gasping out a strange mix of their names and clawing onto Kita’s chest for stability.

“That feel good?” Atsumu asks. He’s met with a chorus of moans and whines from his Lady and his King, but he isn’t satisfied with that. “I said, does that feel good?”

“Y-Yes, my Lord!” You gasp, and are rewarded with kisses and nips to your neck by your husband. Dark eyes peer at Kita over your shoulder, demanding an answer from him as well.

“Yes,” the white haired man grunts. “F-Feels so fuck- fucking good.”

“My, my! Our King has a naughty mouth. My sweet, how does his cock feel?”

Your moans are light and breathless when Atsumu rocks your hips back and forth. Your juices stain Kita’s abdomen, and he’s tempted to reach out and swipe some up on his finger to lick. “He feels so big! So so so big, it’s too much, it’s- oh!”

Kita is almost as surprised as you are when Atsumu guides his King’s hand to your swollen folds, showing him how to rub at your clit with practiced motions. You careen in response, hips moving erratically and crying about how good it feels.

“Tell him, not me,” Atsumu laughs.

“Oh, my King, my sweet King, you feel amazing. I love your cock so much, stuffin’ me full, I can’t take it, I love it I love it I love it!”

Your praise, your words, the heat of your cunt; it all goes straight to his head and his heart, and the coil in his gut tightens dangerously, ready to burst his seed into you and fill you up, but Atsumu has your plans before he can reach his peak.

Atsumu lifts your hips up one final time, but doesn't bring them back down. The disappointment in the room is immeasurable, denied a high once more when they were just so close to falling off the edge. Lady Miya whines loudly and impatiently, having been denied her orgasm twice now.

"I know, baby, I know," Atsumu coos, pets your hair and soothes the furrow of your brows. "But I was gettin' a lil lonely over here. I wanna join in."

Your eyes light up in question, staring at him questioningly and obeying when he orders you to bend over. Chest to chest with Kita, the King cradles you closely, brushes loose strands of hair out of your eyes, and allows himself a simple peck to your lips, one that you return with two of your own.

But you jump in shock when Atsumu spreads your cheeks apart and spits loudly onto your rear.

"Atsumu! You...you mean to-"

"Shh. You trust me, don't ya?"

"Always," she answers without hesitation, and the smile he gives you is warm and full of love.

"Then just wait," he rubs a finger over your puckered hole, spreading the spit and watching in fascination how it responds to his touches. He loves your cunt like a drunk loves his wine, but your ass is just as addictive. Really, any part of you is more than enough for him.

You bite your lip when a finger dips in, struggling to accommodate the invasive digit. Kita distracts you with more kisses, hands on your breasts, pulling at your hardened nipples and drinking in your moans like he's breathing in the fresh air of the morning.

"You are so beautiful," he whispers in your ear, watching over your shoulder as Atsumu adds a second finger, pumps them in and out so carefully. The blonde reaches around to lightly toy with your clit - not enough to make you cum, but enough to make you relax and less restrictive. "He's lucky to have married ya."

"Shinsuke," she sighs into his own ears, and it sends shivers down his spine. It's very rare people can address him as Kita without his title, let alone his first name, but it sounds so beautiful coming from the lips of his friends.

"Yer doin' so well," Atsumu praises, free hand massaging the globe of your ass cheek once Kita’s clumsy fingers take over the role of rubbing your nub. "Stretchin' ya out real good. You want both of our cocks, don't ya?"

"I do, I want them so bad-"

"Think you can handle us?"

"Yes, please! God, Tsumu, I wanna be stuffed with both of your cocks-"

"Damn, you get loud when yer needy." Atsumu drags his erection through the folds of your pussy, gathering as much of your juices to coat his dick once again before he lines it up with your back entrance. "We'll take things nice and slow."

It seems as if Atsumu is reassuring more than just his wife with that statement, and Kita is grateful for it.

You bite down on the skin of his shoulder when Atsumu removes his fingers and presses the tip of his dick at your hole. You’re clenching hard and gasping at the stretch, and Kita works with Atsumu to soothe your cries and kiss away your tears.

He kisses your lips when you give a harsh wail as Atsumu presses in further, not even halfway in yet but groaning at how tight it feels. He spits once again where you're both connected while you twitch and sigh as Kita's fingers return to your swollen bud.

"Yer doing amazing, such a good girl," Kita peppers your cheeks with light kisses, and with one last thrust Atsumu is fully seated with his cock in your ass, glassy eyed and chest heaving with tension as he gives the pair of you a moment to adjust.

He bends over to lick and kiss a line up your spine. "Your turn Shinsuke." Kita stalls, wondering for a moment if you really are ready to take them both at once, but Atsumu mistakes his silence for hesitation. "Need help with that?"

Lord Miya reaches down to gently guide Kita towards your sopping hole, and he sucks in a breath as your hips lower agonisingly slow to sink down on him until both of their members are filling you to the brim.

You're a panting and whining mess atop of him, fighting to catch your breath whilst Kita fights to make sense of what he's feeling right now. He can nearly feel Atsumu press against him through a thin layer inside of your pussy, every budge of his hips making his chest tighten at the friction.

"Tell us when to move," your husband says. After a moment of getting used to the stretch with little twitches of your hips, you nod frantically.

"I'm OK, you can move."

"I'll let Kita do the honours," Atsumu smirks.

Lifting his legs higher up the bed for leverage, Kita gives an experimental thrust into your core. It feels so good when you clamp down with a whimper, and so he does it again, and again, until he's set a slow but steady rhythm and enjoys the look of pleasure on your face, the way you bite your bottom lip to keep from moaning too loud but failing miserably.

Gradually becoming more comfortable and succumbing to pleasure, Atsumu begins to move gently, pulling out slowly and pressing back in, so as not to disrupt Kita’s flow but your reaction is immediate, a sharp gasp and a whine for more, arching your back and trying to reach behind to your husband. He leans over to allow you to thread fingers through his hair, and begins to grind faster into you, trying to match Kita’s pace and intensity.

“S-Shit, yer so tight, yer... fuck-” he curses and stutters his hips. “God I love ya- I love ya so much.”

“Please, g-give me m-more!”

“My pretty little slut,” he coos, and you sob into Kita’s chest. “So- fuck, so fuckin’ greedy. You wanna get fucked hard?”

“Gods, yes! I want to be full of your cum, please please please-”

“S-Shit,” he swears, and Kita watches as the careful, calculated look Atsumu kept in his eyes all night suddenly turns wild, frenzied, just about ready to tear you apart like you desired. “You asked for it, pretty girl.” He gives Kita a look. “Ready?”

The King nods. “Ready.”

The blondes' lips curl up at the edges, and you’re only given a moment before both sets of cocks begin ramming into you with such great force that it has you falling on top of Kita, where he wraps his arms around your frame to keep you steady. Words turn into coherent babbles and cries as they piston in and out of you in near perfect unison, and it’s the friction Kita so desperately craved as your wet walls and Atsumu’s shaft rub him so deliciously that his orgasm rears it head once more, building so perfectly and steadily that he feels like he’s reaching Cloud Nine.

Kita unwinds one of his arms from around your waist to reach Atsumu’s ass to give the flesh an affectionate squeeze, causing him to meet Kita’s eyes over your head. Atsumu leans down to capture Kita’s lips in a sloppy kiss, one that’s more tongue and spit and passion than anything else, and the King barely has any second to catch air when he pulls away before your tongue prods at his lips, lips that he opens willingly like heavenly gates. And when Atsumu joins in again, and he feels two messy sets of tongues invade his mouth, one rough and demanding, the other soft and sweet, he can do nothing more than let out a whine and try to keep up with the wonderful sensations taking hold of his body.

He’s given some reprieve when Atsumu pulls back to sit up, grasping at your hips and fucking into you so fast you’re stupefied, mouth hanging open and drooling on Kita’s chest. He doesn’t mind - rather, he doesn’t really notice, too busy focusing on your bouncing tits in front of his eyes, on the occasional brush of Atsumu’s sack on his skin, and the rising coil in his gut, ready to snap at any moment.

Hips jump erratically off the bed when Atsumu rubs at your clit hard and fast, nearly crushing Kita’s cock from how tightly you squeeze the both of them as your husband brings you to your mind shattering end.

“I’m cumming! I’m- I-”

It’s all you’re able to say as your peak washes over you in waves of heat, and he feels your juices gush out on top of his skin as you do so. Fuck, he’s nearly there, so close, just a bit more-

“I’m c-close, I’m so close-” Kita stutters.

“Cum for me,” Atsumu growls, pounding into your ass with abandon while you fall onto Kita’s torso, arms wrapped around his neck and sobbing so pitifully in his ear. “Cum for us, Shinsuke.”

It’s the push he needed. He’s shooting his seed into your core with a strangled shout, pumping load after load right into you while Atsumu follows, unloading into your ass with a curse and a moan of your name, going balls deep and spilling all that he has while your walls milk them for all that they have.

Atsumu collapses on top of both of you with a tired sigh, and while Kita’s body protests at the added weight, his mouth can’t quite catch up with his brain at the moment, so he simply lays there as the heat of the room falls over all of you like a blanket.

Both cocks begin to soften inside of you. Ever so gently, they pull out, seed escaping your holes and dripping slowly onto the sheets as you whine at the loss and clench around nothing, feeling so terribly empty and almost wishing they had stayed inside of you. But it gives you an opportunity to rest, and Atsumu flips you on your side until he’s laying you down on the bed, littering kisses all over your body and singing praises about how well you did for them, how much of a good girl you are.

You smile sleepily, exhaustion overtaking your limbs, and Kita can only cup your face and rub his thumbs on your cheekbones, uncertain if kissing you would be crossing a line now that the deed has been done. You arch into his touch while Atsumu leaves to get a cloth.

“Was that ok for you, my King?”

Ah. Of course you would put him above yourself. He smiles warmly at that.

“That was wonderful. You were perfect,” he answers honestly, and you practically glow with pride at his words. When Atsumu returns, Kita takes the cloth, opting to be the one to clean the mess between your legs. It’s the least he could do after all that they’ve done for him.

It grows silent once he finishes, looking over to see Atsumu holding you close from behind. Your eyelids are drooping and your eyes grow hazy with every kiss and rub Atsumu gives to you, yet when Kita is about to excuse himself, to find solitude in a bath and let the married couple have his bedchambers for the night, you reach out to him, wanting to hold him, his face, to bring it close to you and trap him for the night.

“Are you sure it’s alright for me to…” he trails off with uncertainty. Atsumu snorts, offering him a kind and warm smile.

“The Lady always gets what she wants,” he jokes, and Kita lets out a fond laugh. “Besides - yer the King.”

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” he replies. And he means it. But his heart begs for the opposite, for you to not let him go and let him rest his head on your heart.

It seems as though you hear his thoughts.

“I want you to stay,” you murmur, sleepy but resolute in your words. “Do you want to stay?”

His eyes flicker back and forth between husband and wife. He could leave. He could end things right here, pretend like tonight never happened and go on existing as King like he always has. Things would become too complicated if he stayed. He knows this. And yet…

“I do,” he whispers, and curls into the warmth of your chest while Atsumu rubs at his hair with a fondness not common in him. Kita feels, for once in his life, at home. No castle too big and warm can ever compare to this. “I do want to stay.”

“Well then,” Atsumu says warmly, while you finish his sentence.

“Stay.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #kita x reader #kita scenarios #kita imagines #kita smut #kita shinsuke #atsumu smut #atsumu scenarios #atsumu imagines #atsumu x reader #atsumu x y/n #kita x atsumu #hq smut #hq fluff

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rezzyromance · 3 years ago

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Cute mini fic idea☺️

You know those love heart sweets with the messages on? Y/n gets her hands on some from the Duke.

Y/n leaves some on Heisenberg’s work bench to share with random messages she pays no mind to.

These are the messages on each one

Kiss me

I’m yours

I love you

Email me (the himbo doesn’t understand because why email when y/n is right there??)

Heisenberg finds them + gets confused thinking y/n is trying to tell him something.

After some mental gymnastics and back + forth he bites the bullet + kisses y/n.

Imagine how confused y/n would be but rolls with it because she wants him too? Especially when he mentions the email one 🤣🤣

This is so creative thank you!

The Duke never failed to disappoint when it came to new items you've never seen before. Whether it's a new collectable that you have no clue how he got his hands on, or a fun foreign snack, he always had so many surprises. During your visit today, you were simply picking up some stuff for Karl. Of course, the Duke had everything he was looking for. But, he made a new offer as well.

"(Y/N), I have something you may be interested in.", he said. "Oh? And what would that be?", your curiosity got the best of you. "I've acquired these little candy hearts. They're meant to be a sweet treat you share with a loved one or someone you care about. I'm not sure who I work with that would like this other than you. Perhaps you could put them to good use." He handed you a box of little heart candies and you put them in your pocket before saying your goodbyes. You would've discussed them more, but Karl was eager about some new supplies that he wanted you to pick up so you didn't want to waste any time.

On the walk home, you opened the box and took one of the candies out. You only observed it a little before trying it. It wasn't overwhelmingly sweet and the texture was soft but chalky. You knew he'd probably like them.

You make it back to the factory and quickly make it to Karl's office where he was hunched over at his desk, busy at work. "I got your stuff. How's the work going?" You place his supplies near his desk and wait for his answer. "Well, it's work. It's not gonna get itself done." He said bluntly. "Well, sounds like it's going well." You put your hand in your pocket and grab one of the heart candies, quickly pulling it out and placing it on his desk before leaving the room. He looks over at the candy, confused of what it was. He took the small item in his hand and scanned each side of it. One side was blank while the other said "Kiss me". "What's this?" He tried to be a little loud so you could hear from outside of the room by now. "Just a little treat." With curiosity, he put the candy in his mouth and continued working as the pleasant taste filled his mouth. The taste didn't last long, but the words did. "Does she want me to kiss her? I mean the message was pretty straight forward." He thought.

A few hours passed and you were bored. Since there's not much to do around the factory, you sometimes take up small chores to help out Karl. You walk back into his office with a broom and begin to sweep the floors. They weren't particularly dirty, but it gave you something to do. Many of the candies still sat in your pocket. As you swept around the room, you quietly placed another candy on his desk. Without a word, you pick up all the swept up dust and other junk from the floor and left the room. When you're gone, he takes a look at the new candy. "I'm yours." It read. A smile grew on his face. "Hm.... guess she knows what she wants."

A few more hours pass and now he's in a different room. His workshop room. He was trying to design a new, elaborate weapon to attach to some new experiments. You peek inside for only a bit, cautiously avoiding the weapon that was being built. "You're doing great." You say as you place another candy on a table beside him. You left without another word. Normally, you wouldn't be checking on him so many times a day. But, you liked the idea of congratulating him on his hard work. After all, he does put so much of his energy into his work.

He became eager to read each new message. He quickly checks the words on this candy. "Call me." "Call me? But I'm right here. " He says, but you've already left the room. "She must be playing hard to get." He stopped working on the intense weapon in front of him and began to think. He was feeling so many new things that confused him, but he wasn't against it.

He was finally done with his work for the day. With a lot of confusing and new thoughts on his mind, he walked out of his workshop. You weren't too far away and you could hear the door opening and closing. You make your way over to where you heard the noise so you could give him another treat. When he saw you walking towards him, he froze. It was a feeling he had never felt before in his life. He felt nervous and was worried that if he were to speak, it would come out all stuttered and weird. "Hey! Done for the day?" You ask and hand him another candy from your pocket. He held it and stared at it for a bit which confused you. Why wasn't he just eating it? You glanced at the candy and noticed something you had been oblivious to before. There was writing on it, but you were unable to read it from where you stood. But, he could read it. He could read the words very clearly. "I love you."

He swallowed anxiously and looked at you for a second. "Are you alright?" You ask. Suddenly, after taking a deep breath to prepare himself, he brings his body even closer to yours. He places his hand on the back of your neck and pulls your face closer to his as he leans into a sudden kiss. You nearly gasp against his lips at first, but loosen up under his touch. It wasn't expected and it was confusing, but you didn't mind it. You even placed your hands on his chest for support, worried you may melt into the kiss so much that you'd fall over. He pulls away and looks into your eyes, unsure of everything at that moment. It scared him to feel so unsure about something. But, the smile on your face and glimmer in your eyes helped ease his stress.

"What was that for?" You ask softly, still resting your hands on his chest. "Well, you did tell me earlier to kiss you." His words caused you to tilt your head in confusion. "What?" "The candies. The ones you've been giving me all day. They said stuff like 'kiss me' and 'I'm yours'" He held out the most recent uneaten candy for you to see. Low and behold, the words "I love you" were printed on it. "One of them even said 'call me' which I thought was particularly strange considering we're never too far apart." You had no idea what to say. Your face grew hot and red with embarassment. He realized what had happened. "You had no idea they said anything, did you?" He too felt incredibly embarrassed now. You began to laugh at the comically bizarre situation. He didn't know whether to be mad or laugh along with you. "I had no clue they said anything!" You pressed your forehead to his chest as you continued to laugh.

His confusion from earlier only grew stronger. "So, you weren't secretly hinting at your love for me?" He felt like a fool for thinking anyone could feel that way about him, especially you. "No, but I'm glad I was even if I didn't notice it." "What? But, I'm sure you didn't actually want me to kiss you, right?" You broke the eye contact with him by looking at the floor in attempts to hide your newfound bashfulness. "Well, I don't mind. I mean.. I didn't mind it..." The room was quiet which only made you more nervous. "I really liked it actually. I really... like you." You felt his thumb rub your chin as he held it gently. Your breath hitches at the touch as he slowly cranes your head up so you can see his face once again. His classic grin had paved its way back onto his face. You smile and pull him into a kiss once again. This time you both melted a little as this one helped ease the tension. You pull away and giggle at the bizarre situation.

"Call me?" "I'd love to."

#re8 #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #karl heisenberg x you #karl heisenberg headcanons #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg headcanon #karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg fanfic #karl hesienberg #karl heisenburg x reader

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13-reasons-ideas · 4 years ago

Note

requests are still open yay! MontyxOc, Oc dated Monty a year ago.. things didn’t quite work out but her & Monty maintained a close friendship some say a little too close for ex’s. She stared dating (any one of the guys) but Monty continued to flirt with her she wasn’t stopping him either, She feels bad & tells Monty to stop flirting & trying to get with her... He doesn’t she starts to get fed up and on a class trip they argue over it.. the argument however ends much differently (smut)

A/N: This story contains SMUT. DNI if under 18. 18+ only. This is a long one you guys. Definitely bring a snack and a cup of tea to read it. I’m sorry if the spacing is weird. I can’t to hear what you have to say about it! Feedback is appreciated and much love as always. - Em

Friends Don’t

I met Monty in the park. Things had been different between us recently. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He turned in my direction. I sat on a picnic table and watched him for a few minutes. He seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.

“What’s going on in that hot head of yours?”

“I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t want to mess everything up.”

“Well how will you know if you do, if you don’t take the chance?” I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this Reagan.” Even though I had a feeling, it still felt like a punch in the gut to hear him say it.

“For what?”

“Things to get serious.”

“Who said anything about serious? We are sixteen.”

“I don’t know. Do you want to pretend that I’m ready to date someone? That doesn’t seem very fair to you.”

I shrugged. He has a point. He’s not exactly in a great place right now. “I guess not.” Even though I didn’t want to, I felt tears starting to well up and the familiar prickle in my nose. I blinked a few times because I knew he was right. It just sucked to hear.

“I don’t want to not have you around though.”

“I know. I don’t want to not have you around either. You know me better than anyone. Best friends?”

“Best friends.”

“And if you ever need anything, I’m there. No matter what.”

“Day or night.”

“Always.”

ONE YEAR LATER

Monty and I stayed close. We kept our promise to be best friends. After all, we knew each other better than anyone. We hung out after school and got coffee. He came over and we watched movies. It was almost like we didn’t break up. Almost. For a while after our breakup things were awkward. We hadn’t really figured out where our boundaries were. After some time, we got comfortable again. Some people would say we were a little too close. It didn’t really matter that much to us if we still flirted or finished each other’s sentences.

It didn’t matter, at least until I started spending time with a certain other jock. Zach Dempsey had caught my eye before senior year but there was something about him that was different that September. He was still kind of cruel, but he was trying. He meant well. He just didn’t always know how to go about things in the best way. I knew what being forced to spend extended time with Bryce walker could do to a person. Zach and I had a few classes together over the years. Our friendship started like a lot of friendships did in school. You got stuck sitting next to someone and so you had to decide if you wanted to ignore them for the rest of the semester, or if you wanted to make your semester not suck and play nice.

We decided on the latter that first day of world history. He was late to class and the only empty seat was next to mine. I had spent time around him when Montgomery and I were dating so we were able to at least talk to each other. Our interactions consisted mostly of homework and school stuff for about a month or so. Then, slowly, we started talking about our interests and other things on our way to lunch. On one such walk to lunch, he told me about his dream of becoming a marine biologist.

“Seriously?” I asked him.

“Yeah. It’s cool. Why?”

“I don’t know. I just guess I pegged you as a guy who would want to do the athlete thing and get a business degree in case you didn’t get drafted.”

“Nah. That… that isn’t really in the cards for me.” I nodded.

“I want to go into social work.”

“No way, really?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate on why I wanted to. That was not my story to share.

“Zachy!” Scott called across the room when we got to the cafeteria.

“I- I should probably get going.” He stammered.

“Yeah. My friends are waiting.” I waved over at Jess and Alex. Zach started to walk away but turned around again.

“Did you want to get a coffee or see a movie sometime?”

“Like, together?”

“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged, trying to play it cool.

“I think I’d like that. Oh, and can you tell Montgomery and Bryce Cheerios is not lunch?” I laughed.

“But they are.”

“I guess we can discuss it over coffee.” I smiled.

“Wednesday after school?”

“Sure.”

I sat at a table with my friends. “So. I’m going on a date.” Jess and Alex looked at me with wide eyes.

“Shit. No way.” Jess smiled.

“Yeah. Zach Dempsey.” I explained, answering their unspoken question.

“Zach is nice.” Alex added.

“And he’s like… really good looking.”

“I know, right?”

“Tall.”

“Very tall.”

“Doesn’t have an anger problem.” Jess muttered under her breath. My smile faltered. I looked up and Monty’s eyes were on me. My phone vibrated. Cheerios is lunch pretty girl. I rolled my eyes. Zach said he has a date. Wouldn’t happen to be a certain girl in his world history class, would it?

I’ll give you details after. And why do you care?

On Wednesday I got a ride with Justin and Clay to school. My car was in the shop for maintenance and my house was on the way from theirs. After school, Zach drove me to Monet’s. I got to ride shotgun in the Audi. The wind feels different. Maybe it’s because this car costs more than my education will. He was a safe driver, I noticed. Soon, we had parked outside the cozy little café. We didn’t hold hands on the way inside.

Inside, I ordered a hot chocolate, and he got a cup of tea. “You like pomegranate?” I asked when we sat down.

“Yeah. It’s tart.”

“It’s pretty good. One of my favourite tea flavours.” We made small talk for a while. I wasn’t sure when the last time he had been on a date was. I hadn’t been on a real date since Monty and I broke up last year.

“Your opinion on Cheerios is wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Yeah. It’s lunch food. Or breakfast food. Hell, even dinner food.” I shook my head.

“I will never understand boys.” He laughed and picked up his spoon. “What are you doing?”

“Just watch.” He breathed on the spoon and tried to balance it on his nose. I giggled and it stuck for maybe three seconds before falling to the table. I burst out laughing.

“Can I try?” I picked up my own spoon.

“Go for it.”

“Okay, okay how do I do this?”

Zach reached over and took the spoon, holding it in front of my mouth. “Breath on it.” I did. “Now before it dries, take it, and place it on the end of your nose.” I did as he said. It fell instantly.

“Try again?” He waved. I tried again and it fell, yet again. “One more. I think I know the spot now.”

“Go on.” This time, I was able to get it to balance for four seconds. “Does this make me champion?”

“Sure. Until we have rematch.”

“A rematch you say?”

“Yes.”

“I look forward to it. Mostly so I can win again.” I smirked slightly. We spent the next couple of hours just talking to each other about stuff. Mrs. Dempsey called him home around five.

“Yeah Mom. I’m just out with the guys going over some plays. I’ll be home soon.”

“I take it I’m getting my refill to go?”

“Yeah. It seems that way. I’ll drive you home.”

We went on like that for the next few weeks. We would meet for coffee or meet up to see a movie. Go for walks in the park or by the docks. It was nice. Different than what Montgomery and I had, but it was a welcome change. We went public at school before we decided to tell our parents. My parents weren’t exactly ecstatic about me dating in my senior year and I knew how his mom felt about girls in his life. I was still talking to Monty. All the while, we had kept up the flirty banter we had started a few weeks after our breakup. Zach didn’t seem to mind much. “Good morning Beautiful.” He said as he walked over to my locker that morning.

“Hey 85.” I smiled brightly at him.

“You look very cute.”

“Why thank you kind gentleman.” I grabbed my bag off the floor and shoved my geometry book in it. Zach threw his arm around my shoulders as he walked me to class. I rested my head against him and we chatted about our night.

“So, you guys are public now.” Monty said, walking up to us with Charlie in tow.

“That’s really cute.” Charlie said.

“Yes.” I smiled. I felt Monty’s eyes traveling my body and I couldn’t help the blush that crept up my neck.

“Yeah.” Zach said.

“That’s great.” Monty replied. When we walked away, he called out, “I’ll see you around Reagan.”

I turned and called back to him, “yes you will.”

In the following few days, Monty kept up with the flirting. I didn’t stop it. I found it kind of amusing. “Going to harp on my lunch choices again Rea?”

“No. You’re an adult. I trust you to make proper choices.”

“Now, Reagan. You should know I’ve never been good with proper.” I rolled my eyes. Oh, I know.

“Seems to have done you pretty well so far. How’s… uh… collarbone tattoo?”

“Katie?”

“Sure.” He merely shrugged.

“How’s Zachy?”

“Zach is good.” Zach said, sitting down at the table. I swatted Monty’s hand away when he reached for a cookie.

“And you should know by now to not touch my food Montgomery.”

“Oh. She full named you. What’s it like to be called out by your ex like that, man?” Bryce asked.

“You don’t get a cookie either Bryce.”

“Reagan.” He held his hand up to his chest. “You wound me.”

“That’s sad for you.” I shrugged. Zach turned to me and shot me a megawatt smile.

“Do I get a cookie?” I thought for a moment.

“You can get half a cookie.”

“It’s half more than I had before.”

“I’m his best friend. Can I have the other half?” Justin asked when he sat down.

“No. My cookies.”

“I’ll trade you my Milky Way for that half.”

“No.” I laughed. “You’re sure you’re okay to come to my place later?” I asked Zach.

“Yeah. It’s just your parents. Parents like me.”

“Did he just say ‘just your parents’?” Monty looked at me with wide eyes. I shrugged. “Reagan.”

“Monty.”

“Your dad threatened to shoot me.”

“My parents never really liked you though.”

“Gee, I wonder what gave you that impression?”

“What would have?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe when her dad threatened to shoot me.”

“Parents don’t like you. They’ll love me.” Zach beamed.

“They don’t like you because you ruined their daughter.” Bryce laughed. Again, I shrugged. Can’t really argue with him there. Monty merely smirked, proudly. Ugh men.

“Anyway. You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. And can you remind me again why we sit here?”

“You get to see me.” Monty chuckled.

“No. No I don’t think that’s why.”

“Hurtful.”

In the few months after Zach and I started dating, his mom had come around to the idea of me being in his life. I spent time at his house, mostly working on homework or helping May with hers. It was tense at first but she came around eventually. Once she realized I only wanted what was best for her son. My parents were getting more used to the idea of me dating again. They saw how we interacted and seemed to approve more than they did with Monty. I had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t emptying the first aid kit my mom kept stocked every month or so.

Monty and I were still close. He had recently started seeing a girl named Kyla. I wasn’t sure how serious it was but figured it could be good for him. It didn’t stop him from flirting with me though.

“Good morning gorgeous.”

“Good morning Montgomery. Good night?” I laughed.

“Of course.”

“How was your date with Kyla?” I asked.

“It was good. She cooked for me.”

“That’s nice. Was it good?” Charlie asked, adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

“I mean, sure. Some kind of spinach something or other?”

“You hate spinach.” I said.

“Yes. And you hate tha-.” Monty started. I saw Zach walking towards us.

“Shhhh.” I cut him off. “Hey babe.”

“Hey beautiful.” Zach pulled me into a hug and placed a kiss on my head. “How was dinner at Alex’s last night?”

“It was good. His mom let me bring contraband in the house.”

“Contraband?” Bryce asked.

“He’s not allowed to have junk food.” Charlie explained.

“Something about healthy body healthy mind or something.”

“She’s not wrong Rea.” Zach said.

“I know but still. Let the kid have a candy bar once in a while. It won’t hurt him.”

“He prefers sour patch kids.”

“I know.” The bell rang and interrupted us. I sighed heavily and took Zach’s hand. He walked me to math and kissed me on the cheek as he left. I smiled brightly at his retreating form.

Monty texted me in math. As I was saying, you hate that you and Zach haven’t fucked yet. Have you even gotten to second base yet?

None of your god damn business.

I’ll take that as a no. Don’t worry. It’ll happen eventually. I could get Charlie to get Alex to talk to him. Or you could let me talk to him.

No!

What? You don’t want me to tell him all your dirty little secrets?

I swear to God, De la Cruz. I will wring your neck in your sleep.

You’d be doing my dad a favour. You’d at least get past the front door.

I’d wring his first. Now stop texting me and learn some shit.

Fine.

Zach sat with Alex, Jess, and I at lunch. Kyla was sitting with Monty. I got the impression that she didn’t really like me all that much. In order to avoid a catfight-as much as I think the boys would like to see it- I found it best not to sit with them when she was around. Plus, it gave me a bit of a break from all the sports talk I had to pretend to care about. I shared my granola with Jess. Alex ‘stole’ my gummy bears. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had the other bag in history. Zach kept my little secret. I felt him watching me out of the corner of his eye. He was talking to Alex about some video game. Jess and I rolled our eyes. “Boys.” We said in unison.

That weekend, Zach and I went for a walk along the docks. It was a beautiful day outside. We walked hand in hand just talking. When we felt like taking a break, we sat down on a bench overlooking the water and watched the waves. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. He was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. “Part of me wishes it was cold out, so I could offer you my sweater.”

“Me too.” I smiled.

“You look adorable in them.”

I giggled and hid my face in his shoulder. “I do not.”

“You do though.”

“Okay.” I blushed. He grinned at me as I peeked up at him.

We spent another hour walking and enjoying our time together. When it started to get dark, Zach walked me back to his car. He held the door open for me and kissed me before closing it. He is so sweet. The radio was playing softly. We sat in content silence for most of the drive. The purr of the engine lulled me into a peaceful sleep. “Reagan.” He whispered. I didn’t want to wake up. “Reagan. Baby, wake up for a second please.”

“Hmm?” My eyes stayed closed

“I just wanted to know if you want anything from Starbucks.”

“Sleeping.”

“You can stay in the car and sleep if you want.”

“Kay.”

“I’ll get you something.” He whispered and kissed my temple before getting out and locking the car. When I woke up, there was a cup of tea in the cup holder for me. So thoughtful.

I was in the middle of getting ready for a date with Zach when someone rang my doorbell. Running to answer it, my eyes widened when I saw Monty. His cheek was already starting to bruise and his knuckles were bloody. “Hey.”

“Uh. Hey there friend.” Blood was dripping onto my porch. “Just a sec.” I held up a finger and ran to grab a towel. He wrapped it around his hand before stepping inside. Thankfully there won’t be blood on the floor now. He stood in the entryway. “How’s the other guy?” I asked as I pulled out my phone to text Zach. Monty didn’t answer.

I’m so sorry. I have to cancel tonight. I think I’m coming down with a cold. I want to try to nip it in the bud and sleep it off.

That’s okay. Do you want me to come over? I can bring you soup.

No, thanks though Zach. I’m just going to go get ready for bed and sleep so I can be better by Monday.

Okay. I’m just a text or call away if you need anything. <3

Thank you. <3

Now that my plans with Zach were taken care of, I was able to focus on the boy at my front door. “You know you don’t have to just stand there. You’ve been here before since we broke up.”

“I know. I just wanted to give you some space while you dealt with whatever plans you and Zach had.” He walked into the house further before adding, “which you didn’t have to do.”

“It’s not a big deal. I told you I would be here for you, whatever you need. Do you want some ice for your hand?” I dug around in the freezer for the tray. He tried to protest but I saw the thinly veiled wince when he flexed it. Sighing, I pulled out the freezer bags and filled one with ice. Monty accepted it begrudgingly.

“I didn’t need ice Reagan.”

“And I don’t need five million dollars Montgomery. If you don’t want it though, I’ll gladly take it back. I’m sure Kerba would love to hear about whatever bullshit reason you give for your hand being fucked again is.” He shut up and kept the ice.

“Think he would believe me if I said it was an exercise accident?”

“No.” I stated, shaking my head. Monty moved into the living room, settling in on the couch. Grabbing the remote with his good hand, he started scrolling through channels.

“You know if you hit the guide button, you can just pick a channel.”

“Yeah, but then you don’t complain about it and I can’t irritate you.”

“And I wasn’t done.” He didn’t respond, so I went into the closet for my mom’s first aid kit. She kept it stocked at all times. It was hard explaining why it was so depleted so frequently when Monty and I were together and even harder to explain why it was full after we broke up.

Walking over to the couch, I sat down and opened the kit. I grabbed some gauze and took his hand in mine. There was too much blood, so I had to go get a cloth. His lip curled when the wet cloth touched his cut knuckles. My brow rose but I didn’t say anything. Monty grimaced as I wrapped his hand. “Is your cheek okay?”

“It’s fine.”

“Okay. Have you eaten?”

“Yeah. You don’t need to feed me too Reagan.”

“Okay.” I let him continue flipping channels, knowing when to not push him. He never was very nice when I was patching him up. He finally settled on some old black and white film. Neither of us watched it. We just spent the night sitting in silence. It gave me plenty of time to think about the fact that I had lied straight through my teeth to my very nice, charming boyfriend.

A couple of weeks after I had patched Monty up, I noticed he wasn’t at school. I was walking to my locker with Alex that morning. Scott was talking to Charlie about something when we passed. “I don’t know where he is, man.”

“But we have a huge government midterm today.”

“It’s Monty. He probably just overslept or decided to cut first period.” I stopped walking unconsciously. Then where is he?

“You’re probably right.” Charlie said, as he adjusted his bag. He bumped into me when he passed. “Sorry Reagan. Guess I didn’t see you there.”

“Huh? No worries Charlie.” I smiled as he took Alex’s hand and nodded to them when they left me in the hall.

“He isn’t at school yet.” Scott said, behind me.

“Okay. I don’t know why you think I care but whatever.”

Scott looked at me seriously. “You care. Might want to look like you care less though. His replacement is coming this way.” I didn’t respond.

By lunch, I had started to worry. Charlie was right. We had a government midterm today. Monty couldn’t miss it. I scanned the cafeteria. There was no sign of him anywhere. He wasn’t in math this morning either. I couldn’t stop myself from texting him. I know you aren’t this self-destructive. Get your ass to school.

“Hey baby. Who’re you texting?”

“Just Bryce. I loaned him some of my government notes in first so he could cram. I just need them back.” Zach took my hand and we walked to the jocks table. Still no sign of Monty. I didn’t sit down. “Hey Bryce, did you get my text?”

“Uh. No?”

“About my government notes that you borrowed?”

“What-?” I gave him a look. “Oh. Yeah, I put them in my locker. Meant to bring them to lunch but it slipped my mind.”

“Can we go get them? I wanted to read over them during lunch.”

“Sure?”

“Great.” I nodded towards the door. He stood and followed me out.

“So, what the hell was that?”

“Did Monty stay at your place last night?”

“No. It’s probably nothing. You know how he is. Disappears sometimes.” We stopped walking and stepped into an empty hall.

“Yeah. It’s just that he knows this is important. I worry is all. Unlike you, he actually needs to get a scholarship.”

“I need to too Reagan.”

“You don’t. But go ahead and think that if it helps you sleep.” I shook my head and pulled my history notes out of my bag. “We’ve been gone a while. Don’t want anyone getting suspicious.” I texted Monty again while we walked in silence back to the cafeteria. If you aren’t in government I will drive to your house and kick your unfairly shapely ass. You better have a damn good excuse for not being here.

When I got to government for fifth period, I sighed in relief. Monty was sitting in his seat next to mine. “Nice of you to finally show up.” I grumbled as I sat down.

“I was busy.”

“It’s a Wednesday during school. During midterm week no less. What was so important?”

“Kyla got a new piercing a few weeks ago.” He smirked.

“You’re disgusting.”

“What? Have you and Zach still not?” My silence spoke volumes. He snorted. “No wonder you’ve been so bitchy lately. Want me to talk to him? Explain that you have needs?”

“No. I want you to not skip school to fuck your,” I paused, “Kyla. Because you aren’t a dumbass.” Even though I was pissed at him, I still waited for him until he had finished his test. We stopped at his locker so he could drop off his books.

Zach was waiting for me at my locker. We had rescheduled our movie date to today under the guise of making sure my cold was for sure gone and until midterms were complete. “Hey Zachy.” I hugged him and kissed his chest.

“Hey beautiful. How was your midterm?”

“Not bad. I think I did okay.”

“That’s good. How was it actually Monty?”

“Could have been worse. No one cried, which kind of sucks.”

“Good to know.” I put my stuff in my locker, failing miserably at the organization I had at the beginning of the year.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Monty. At eight. When you’re supposed to be at school.”

“Okay. We can go with that. You kids have fun now.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. A blush had started to creep up my neck though. Maybe tonight.

When we got to my place, I left Zach downstairs to go change. I threw on underwear that matched my bra. Just in case. I settled on a pair of yoga pants that framed my ass well and threw on a low-cut comfortable tank top. Back downstairs, Zach was taking a bag of popcorn out of the microwave. I felt his eyes go straight to my butt as he heard me come down. I smirked slightly. I hugged him tightly from behind at the counter. “You’re cute.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not cute.”

“You are. My giant teddy bear you. Oh, and there’s a box of Mike & Ike’s in the pantry for you.”

“Thanks.” He grinned.

We scrolled through Netflix for a few minutes. Nothing looked really interesting until we scrolled past Beautiful Creatures. It’s good to make out to. And I like it. Settling in for the night, I rest my head on his lap. I sighed happily as Zach stroked my hair. It was so nice to just have a quiet night in with him. He adjusted his position slightly a while into the movie and I sat up to change positions as well. Falling asleep was not in the plans for this evening. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer against his chest. Leaning back, I rested my head on his shoulder. I placed a few soft kisses on his neck and jaw.

Zach’s breathing picked up when my lips ghosted over a spot just under his chin. There it is. I smiled against it and kissed it again. He sighed and I pulled away to look at him. His pupils were slightly dilated. I leaned in to kiss him. He leaned in and our lips touched. It was soft and gentle at first, but quickly became deeper and more intense. This wasn’t the first time we made out at all. But this time felt different. More meaningful. Maybe it was the right choice to change my underwear. His tongue ran along my bottom lip, requesting entrance. I was more than happy to accommodate it. His hand made its way around to rest against the back of my neck. My body shifted into a kneeling position on the soft couch, so I had a better angle. One of my hands rested on his chest. The other wound its way around the back of his neck to play with the soft hairs at the top of it. So soft.

Our tongues playfully fought for dominance. Neither of us seemed too keen on winning. We were just enjoying the moment. The movie was still playing in the background, though neither of us cared. My hand traveled down his muscular body as our making out intensified. I played with the hem of his shirt. I wasn’t wanting to take it off. But I also wasn’t not wanting to take it off. My boyfriend has a very nice body. Zach took control and began leaning forward. He continued until my back hit the cushions. After some readjusting, I was laying comfortably with Zach’s large frame above me. I smirked slightly when I felt his pants beginning to tent. He only pulled away long enough to sit up and pull his shirt over his head. Ugh that is the hottest thing any man can do. The blue shirt dropped to the living room floor unceremoniously.

He kissed me once more before moving on to my neck. The initial kisses were light and teasing. He was still trying to draw a map of where all the sensitive spots were. I gasped when he brushed over my pulse point. Zach smiled softly against it. The kisses turned much less light and teasing after that. It was both sides under attack now. It felt so good. I couldn’t stop the quiet whimpers from escaping. I moaned his name and ran my fingers through his hair. Why do men get the super soft hair? God. This feels amazing. “I love you.” He breathed into my neck. My breath caught in my throat. What? It wasn’t like I had never thought I loved him. I did. I was just surprised that he said it first. When I didn’t say it back immediately, his kissing faltered. I didn’t mean to hesitate.

“I love you too.” I smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.

We continued making out for a while until it got too close to my parents getting home. It was a long weekend, so they didn’t care much if he was over late. We were both adults. On weekends, they trusted us to be alone later. Even if alone meant ‘my parents are in their room upstairs or down the hall so shhh’. On school nights, Zach was gone by ten thirty. Even though they trusted us, none of us needed to experience them walking into the house to see their daughter and her boyfriend getting hot and heavy on their couch. Instead, we cozied up on the couch under a blanket and watched a couple more movies. “It’s getting late Reagan. I should head home. Mom will probably send Deputy Standall to come get me soon.”

“Okay.” Zach and I walked to the door and hugged goodbye. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him gently. “I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you too.” He whispered back.

The next morning, I woke up with tiny purple marks on the sides of my neck. He doesn’t usually leave marks. I like it. I wore my hair down so my parents didn’t see them. I may be an adult, but they still preferred I didn’t go around sporting hickeys all the time. Probably part of why they hated Monty so much. My mom felt it was anti-feminist. It was letting a man mark their territory and property. I usually challenged that with her wedding set. Dad just preferred not to think of me as being in a physical relationship. He was aware of it of course. Just preferred not to acknowledge it. Which, I mean, fair.

At school, I couldn’t leave my hair down. It was too hot. I threw it in a high ponytail in history. Zach breathed in sharply when he saw my neck. I turned and smiled at him. “Thank you.” His eyes widened and he coughed to cover a groan. During lunch, I could feel the boys staring at me as they arrived at the table.

“Damn Zach. Didn’t think you had it in you.” Bryce sniggered. I rolled my eyes.

“I did. You finally corrupted him, Reagan?” Justin wiggled his brows at us. I blushed and hid my face in Zach’s chest. I was never this shy about marks with Monty. Maybe that was because no one made comments like that when he did it. Because it was expected. And they knew he would rip their tongues out. I expected Monty to comment. He surprised me when he only quirked a brow. I was less surprised when he pulled me aside before history.

“Don’t let your parents see those. You seem quite attached to him. Wouldn’t want your dad to actually kill him. Maybe you should leave your hair down for a while. Wouldn’t want anyone getting any ideas, would you?”

I was stunned at the unnecessary hostility in his tone. Why the fuck does he care? He didn’t say anything else. I turned as he walked away, leaving me alone in the hall. I still put my hair down though.

Zach and I continued to explore the more physical aspect of our relationship in the coming weeks. Nothing too serious, just some semi-clothed touching. Maybe the rare under clothes touches. Only enough to tease. Never enough to lead anywhere. I was both grateful and frustrated by it. He didn’t leave anymore marks on me either. He could tell I was uncomfortable with his friend’s comments and wanted to avoid it as much as possible. We had agreed to wait until we were both ready. Neither of us were virgins. But it was still new. It did leave me with plenty of time to wonder what it would be like though.

When I wasn’t thinking about all the dirty things Zach and I could get up to, or Zach in general, or Monty, I occupied my time with college applications. My top choice had been UNC Chapel Hill for many years. Even before I knew what I wanted to study. I worked hard in school because of it. There were other schools I would like to go to, but none compared to UNC in my mind. I remembered when Monty and I had talked about what we wanted to do after high school, and he looked amazed but slightly skeptical at my goal. I knew he didn’t mean anything bad by it. We both knew how big of a goal I was. Zach had a different look on his face. He looked at me with complete faith that it would happen. It wasn’t even a question to him. He didn’t verbalize the thought, but I could see it in his eyes. I just hoped he was right.

Admissions emails were due to go out any day now. I both couldn’t wait and absolutely dreaded it. I had applied to seven schools. Statistically speaking, I had to get into at least one of them. I just wasn’t sure which one. Zach tried his best to reassure me that everything would work out. Our friends agreed with him. Monty also tried to reassure me. And keep my mind off of it with his incessant flirting. It was nice. I had a constant I could focus on. Monty flirting with me, as strange as it sounded, was keeping me calm. Zach tried his best to keep my mind occupied. We talked about anything but schools unless we needed to. It was sweet. I just wasn’t sure it was helping much.

The pring of an email notification on my phone pulled my attention away from the textbook I was reading. I quickly grabbed my laptop and logged on. Pulling up Gmail, I held my breath. It could be any email. An email titled University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Office of Registrar Admissions Decision sat at the top of my inbox in bold letters. This is it. Holy crap. I was shaking so hard I opened the wrong email first.

Back on my inbox page, I took a very deep breath and opened the email. Dear Miss Reagan Taylor, thank you for your application to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted for admission at this time. I couldn’t read any further. There was more information, I just couldn’t bring myself to read any of it. My eyes had begun to fill with tears. I didn’t get in. I worked so hard. And I still didn’t get in. Numbly, I moved the computer off my lap and grabbed my phone. Unconsciously, I selected a contact and put it to my ear as I felt myself beginning to dissociate.

“Hello?”

“Hi. A-are you busy right now?”

“I don’t have to be. What’s wrong?”

“C-can you come here? Please?”

“I’ll be right there.”

I numbly walked out of my room and went to unlock the front door. In my room, I sat in the center of my bed and hugged my knees. Willing the tears to remain at bay, I screwed my eyes shut. That didn’t do much to help, because all I saw was a string of the words not been accepted running over and over again.

A knock on my bedroom door caused me to look up. I wasn’t aware of how much time had passed. He was standing in my doorway with his hands tucked in his pockets. “I didn’t get in.” I said softly. My voice cracked. His long stride had him at my bedside and sitting down within only a few steps. He pulled me close to him and I cried into his shoulder. He laid us back and he held me as I cried. I felt so vulnerable as we laid there silently.

It must have been at least an hour before we moved. It had started getting dark outside. “Thank you, Monty.”

“You needed me.”

“I know. I just,” I paused, “thank you.”

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” I walked him to the door and went to take a shower. When I got out, I saw that Zach had texted me. I love you and I hope you’re having a good day. I sighed to myself. I couldn’t bring myself to find the energy to text him back. Instead, I crawled into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

The next day, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and one of Zach’s t-shirts. I was too upset about the email to really care about looking nice. I met Zach at his car in the parking lot. He had a cup of hot chocolate for me and had his adorable happy grin plastered across his face. “Morning beautiful.” I took the to go cup gratefully.

“Morning.” He put his arm around me as we walked, and I leaned against his large frame.

“How was your night?”

“It was okay. Yours?”

“It was alright. Anything exciting happen?” Exciting is not the word I would use.

“Uh, no. Not really.” We had reached my locker. I opened it and dug around for my stuff.

“Hey, Reagan.” Luke called from across the hall. I lifted my arm and waved at him without turning around.

“What’s up Luke?” I asked when he was at my locker. Some of the football team was with him, including Monty.

“You know, it goes. I heard back from UNC yesterday. Did you?”

“Uh.” I cleared my throat and tried to will away more tears. I didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath Monty made. “I uh… Yeah. I didn’t get in.” I muttered. There was confused murmuring all around me. The only one who didn’t say anything was Monty. I didn’t have to look up to see that Zach was glaring daggers at him.

“How did they not accept you?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t know Char. It was a long shot anyway. Their acceptance rate is twenty three percent total. It’s even less for out of state applicants. Applicants who aren’t being given sports scholarships anyway. No offence Luke.”

“None taken. I’m sorry Reagan.”

“It’s okay. I applied to other schools.” I cleared my throat again. “I have to get to class.

“I’ll walk you.” Zach said. I nodded and took his hand in mine.

We stopped on the way when he pulled me aside into an empty classroom. “You didn’t mention that you heard back from UNC.”

“I know. I just… I needed some time to process. Can we talk about this later? I have a reading due at the beginning of class.”

“Sure. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Of course.” I kissed him on the cheek. I sat through my classes in an almost daze. Monty sent me a couple of texts that made me smile. Zach also sent a couple of goofy pictures to try and cheer me up. My smile didn’t quite meet my eyes as much. I attributed it to being upset about the admission decision.

I met Zach at the doors to the cafeteria and he hugged me. I smiled sadly into his chest. I picked at my lunch silently. I could feel Monty and Zach’s eyes on me. They were watching both me and each other. No one else picked up on the tension. “Did you want to come over after school Zach? My parents are at work.”

“That works. I’ll let my mom know we are studying after school.”

“Studying each other?” Justin smirked. I rolled my eyes. Zach threw a piece of cheese at him.

“Fuck off.”

“Why do you throw food at each other?”

“It’s fun.” They shrugged.

“Alright then. I have a free period so I’m going to finish a project. I’ll see you guys later.” I leaned over and kissed Zach.

A few minutes after I sat down and pulled up my assignment, someone sat next to me. “So. You didn’t tell Zach?”

“No Monty.” I didn’t look up from my computer.

“You didn’t tell him you called me either, did you?”

“No. But I’m sure it will come up tonight when we talk.”

“You’ll let me know if everything is okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I have class so I’ll text you hot stuff.”

“You better.” I smirked.

Zach and I met each other at my place. My parents were at work and I think both of us knew this was going to become a fight, so I wasn’t surprised when he agreed to come over at lunch without a thought.. We danced around each other in silence. Neither of us knew how to react to the tension between us. With Montgomery it was easy. He would be in a mood or I would be upset about something, we would yell at each other for a while, and then… then it was fixed. I had never fought with Zach before.

“Why didn’t you tell me about UNC?”

“I told you. I needed time to process. To think. That was my top choice Zach. My plans literally changed overnight. That takes time to think through.”

“But I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to help you with that stuff. To be there for you.”

“I know. But I need to take time to process before I can deal, okay?”

“Right. Time to process. That’s why Monty knew?”

“How do you know he knew?”

“His reaction this morning. Plus, I heard him talking to Scott and Luke about it in class.”

“Are you mad I didn’t tell you, or are you mad I told Monty?”

“Both.”

“I don’t know why I told him okay?”

“No Reagan. Not okay.”

“I didn’t do it intentionally Zach. I just… dialed. I wasn’t even looking at my phone.”

“Is that supposed to make this better? That your instinct was to call your ex-boyfriend and not me?”

“No. I’m saying that I wasn’t even thinking clearly. All I knew was that in an instant my entire future was fading before my eyes.”

“So, you called Monty.”

“Yes Zach. I called him. I called him and he came. He dropped everything and he came to me.”

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“What. Happened. Reagan?”

“Nothing. I just cried. And cried. And then he left. I was upset.”

“Why couldn’t you call me?”

“Oh my god, Zach. I wasn’t thinking. I can’t explain to you why I called him and not you. I just picked a contact without looking and it was his.”

“Do you still love him?” His question caught me off guard. Do I?

“No.” My voice sounded sure. My brain and heart didn’t believe me. Hopefully Zach would.

“You don’t. Why do you still flirt with him?”

“I don’t love him. As for the flirting, that’s just how we talk to each other. We’ve always done it.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“Noted.”

Zach scoffed. “You flirt with your ex in front of me.”

“I don’t mean anything by it.”

“That doesn’t matter. Do you not think it’s weird that you’re still super close to your ex?”

“Not really, no. He is my friend. You can be friends with an ex, you know.”

“Most people can’t, actually.”

“So what? You’re mad that I’m friends with Monty?”

“I’m not mad Reagan. It’s just a lot to deal with.”

“Why?”

“Do you know how it feels to learn stuff about you, because your ex is talking about it? Or because you two are joking about something?”

“No. I guess I never really thought about it like that. It’s not that weird to us. But it does make sense.” I sat down on my couch. My adrenaline was leveling out again and I felt like an asshole.

“It doesn’t feel good.” He sat down next to me.

“I’m sorry Zach. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“I know.”

“I’ll talk to Monty about it. Tell him we need to stop the flirting and stuff.” Zach took my hand gently.

“Okay.” I rested my head on his shoulder and he pulled me into his lap. I was shocked that a fight had been resolved that easily and cleanly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Monty and I met at the docks to talk after Zach and I fought. “Hey.”

“Hey sweetheart.” I grimaced slightly.

“Zach and I talked.”

“Okay. How did it go?”

“He was pretty ticked off that you knew about UNC before he knew. And that you came over instead of him.”

“But I’m your friend.”

“And he is my boyfriend. Also, for the record, you aren’t just my friend Monty. You’re my ex.”

“So?”

“So, you aren’t just my friend.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because. The way you talk to me, it’s like we never broke up. You’re the one who said you wanted to break up. That you weren’t ready for a serious relationship. Or any relationship for that matter.”

“Is it you, or Zach that has a problem with it?” My silence spoke volumes. “I see. Well, you go tell your boyfriend that we talked.”

“Monty. I do feel bad about it. It’s not fair to Zach to have to deal with you flirting with me and making moves all the time.”

“You know, if I believed that you felt bad, or that you were honestly asking me to stop, I would. But I know you. I know this isn’t coming from you.”

“Montgomery. You need to stop. I’m asking you to stop.”

“Fine. I’ll cool it.”

“Thank you. That’s all I ask. Still friends?”

“Of course, Rea.” He hugged me tightly. I felt like I would let tight hugs slide because I liked them. We walked to our cars together quietly. I didn’t want to have to go or have things change, but I knew that if I wanted to stay with Zach, they would have to.

Monty was true to his word for all of three days. We were still friendly. The flirting had stopped though. There was still a buzz in the air when we interacted. It was easier to ignore now. At least, I thought it had stopped. I was painting my finger and toenails in the bathroom on Saturday night. It was my weekly self-care night. My phone rang before I could decide on a face mask to do while my nails dried. I smiled but rolled my eyes a bit when I saw who was calling. “Hi Monty.” I tried to sound annoyed but couldn’t keep the smile out of my voice.

“Hey Reagan.” He slurred slightly. I could hear the sound of boys falling and goofing off in the background. Bryce is having a thing, I guess.

“What’s up Buddy?”

“Jus’ guys night.”

“You don’t say.”

“You sound relaxed.”

“And you sound mighty drunk. It’s Saturday.”

“Right. Right. Girly night.” He chuckled.

“Yes. Is there a reason you called?”

“Wanted to say hi.”

“Oh.” I thought we had talked about this.

“I miss you.” He slurred. Oh boy.

“Uh. Miss you too.” I grimaced. He was drunk so I wasn’t going to just pretend I hadn’t heard him. Montgomery wouldn’t remember this in the morning.

“I’m an idiot.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“I am. I let you go.”

“Monty….”

“I love you.” My eyes widened. No. I felt the corners of my eyes begin to fill with tears. Looking up, I blinked them away. I didn’t know what to say.

“I-.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Monty.” I whispered. Why is this happening? We talked about this. At least he won’t remember this tomorrow. But I can’t just act like it didn’t happen.

“Buddy, get off the phone and come play.” Garrison called in the background.

“Gotta go.” Monty said before hanging up. What the actual fuck just happened?

I didn’t text Monty or Zach all day Sunday. I didn’t actually talk to or text anyone aside from my parents. I woke up on Monday dreading school. I just laid in bed and stared at my ceiling. I would see Zach and have to act like that phone call didn’t happen. And that Montgomery hadn’t said what he said. I would also see him. I don’t know if I can do that. He’s your friend. He was wasted when he called you. He won’t remember it. Taking a deep breath, I threw off the covers and got up. I stopped for a coffee on my way to school to try to calm my nerves, even though I was more of a tea person.

I walked into the school and as luck would have it, the first person I saw, was Montgomery freaking De la Cruz. Thank you, Universe. Instantly, I turned on my heel and walked out of the building before he could see me. Books weren’t important now. I had to avoid him. I power walked to the nearest exit and stopped by a large tree. Leaning against it, I took a deep breath and contemplated ditching school. That wasn’t going to be possible. Because the universe decided to say fuck Reagan today. Zach was walking towards me from the parking lot. He waved. I pretended I hadn’t seen it and ignored him. He stopped when he got to my tree. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Hey. Yeah. I’m okay.”

“You’re breathing kind of heavy. And leaning against a tree.”

“I’m fine Zach.”

“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced. Before he could say anything more, I picked up my bag and brushed past him. I took the long way around to the back of the building to physics. I slumped in my seat and doodled through the whole class. I was doing well enough that the teacher wasn’t going to call on me.

I spent the next week avoiding Monty. I didn’t answer his texts. I took different routes to class. As far as I was concerned, he didn’t exist anymore. Except for the near constant string of text messages that I was getting from him. And his confession running over in my head any time I had a free moment to think. Why did he have to do that? I was getting on just fine. Zach and I were in a good place again. We agreed that we would just be friends. Fine. Fine. Fine.

I was also distant with Zach. I felt awful about it. You love him. He can say it to you sober. He loves you. If he saw me in the halls, he would come over and I would let him walk me to class. We would hold hands. My grip wasn’t as tight as usual. He would put his arm around me. I wouldn’t lean against him. I think he could tell something was off. Being Zach, he wouldn’t bring it up though. Since I was avoiding my two favourite jocks, I couldn’t exactly sit with Zach at lunch. I sat with Jess and Alex instead. Without Zach. They exchanged looks the first day but said nothing.

I went to the baseball game after school to support Zach. And to make it seem like nothing was wrong between him and I or Monty and I. I didn’t want people asking too many questions. Questions I didn’t want to answer. Monty’s drunken declaration had brought up feelings I had spent the better part of a year and a half, trying to bury. I was the one that wanted more from him. I was the one who needed more. When it was clear I wasn’t going to get more, I settled. And then when we broke up, I was comfortable in the fact that even though I loved him and I felt like he loved me, it would go unsaid and we could just be friends. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that was why we were so close and flirted with each other. While I wasn’t in love with him anymore, I still did love him. Even though I told Zach I wasn’t. Liar. You are still hopelessly in love with him. Maybe. But I can’t have him the way I want. And I love Zach. I just haven’t decided if I’m in love with him yet.

After the game, I waited to say bye to Zach and congratulate him on the win. “Congratulations 16. You won.” I smiled as he walked up to me. I was waiting at the bottom of the bleachers.

“Of course, we did. I had my biggest cheerleader in the stands.” He grinned. I couldn’t help but melt. Pushing away any and all thoughts of Montgomery’s phone call, I threw my arms around his neck and let him scoop me up into his arms as we kissed. My legs wrapped around his waist and his hands held my thighs.

“Get a room.” Bryce called out to us as he passed with some of the guys. The jocks cheered and whistled. I flipped them off and pulled away from the kiss.

“Two things. One, you don’t have girlfriends because you whistle at girls. We aren’t dogs. Two, fuck off.” I called back.

“I have a girlfriend.” Anders yelled.

“I know. She’s awesome. That’s two of twenty. Now shut up and leave us be assholes.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Zach let out a loud laugh when they walked away. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah. It kind of was. Sadly, I have to go work on a project. Walk me to my car?” I said as I jumped out down.

“Lead the way.”

I was working on my project when Monty called me. I sent it straight to voicemail. He called again. I let it ring out. He called back. This man just doesn’t quit. Again, I let it ring. He called a fourth time. Jesus. I answered it on the second to last ring. “What?”

“Woah. Who pissed in your tea today?”

“You called me four times in a row. What do you want Montgomery?”

“Well, I was calling to see why you have been ignoring me. But now I’m going to ask why you’re being such a bitch?”

“I’m busy. And you called me four times in a row.”

“Busy with what?”

“A project.”

“Okay. I’ll keep this quick then. Since a project is apparently more important than your best friend.” I didn’t respond. “Why have you been avoiding me, Reagan?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Bull. I haven’t seen or heard from you in almost a week. Are you mad at me or something?”

“No. I’ve been busy.”

“With Zach?”

“No. With stuff. I have a life outside of Zach Dempsey and you, you know.”

“Stuff. Okay. What stuff?”

“School stuff. Trying to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. Stuff.”

“Alright. I don’t believe you though. Did I do something wrong?” Yes. You did. Something very wrong. That you apparently can’t even remember. Meaning you didn’t have to just be drunk to say it. You had to be wasted.

“No. I’ve just been busy.” I sighed.

“We’re okay?”

“Yes Monty. We’re okay.”

“Okay good. Did you want to do lunch tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Great. Rosie’s at one?”

“I’ll be there.” I threw my phone on my bed when I hung up. This man is infuriating. Why can’t I say no to him?

To no one’s surprise, Monty didn’t stop flirting with me. He made comments about my outfits or little things that he knew about me. It had finally driven Kyla away. I feared that Zach would be the next person he drove away. I didn’t fall into his trap anymore and let him bait me into flirting with him again. He tried hard. But I didn’t want to go back on my word to Zach. I couldn’t control what Monty did. But I could control how I reacted. So, any time Monty flirted with me, I ignored it. I pushed down the little flutter in my stomach and blush that threatened to creep up my neck. Zach would roll his eyes and smirk if he was around to watch the spectacle that had become Monty and my interactions. We both figured he would grow tired of not getting a response and quit eventually. I have no idea why. Montgomery De la Cruz never was one to back down from a challenge.

As the school year started heading towards its close, the big senior trip was coming up. Every year, the school sent the senior class on a trip. It was supposed to be educational and technically was fair game on any exams except our government finals when we got back. But really, it was to let us blow off some steam and get us into a different environment, so we were less likely to do a Senior Skip Day or senior prank. The only teachers who tested on it were the hard asses. This year we would be going to DC to “learn about the government and how our nation’s democracy runs.”

The senior class was abuzz with excitement about our trip to DC. It was fully paid for by the school due to it being a mandatory trip, aside from the few thousand we needed to fundraise for. It wasn’t cheer camp so people were more willing to donate for a bake sale, over Dollar Valentines. Typically, everyone shared rooms at the hotel. This year however, there was an uneven number of girls in the class. Meaning that one lucky girl, would get a whole room to herself for the week. To make it a fair draw, every grade twelve girl’s name was put into a raffle. A random teacher from the neighbouring school then pulled a name from the bunch, to keep it impartial. An email would be sent out to every girl, letting her know if she was picked.

I held my phone tightly all day on draw day. It was a week out from the day we were leaving. We weren’t told when the email would go out. Only that we would know by tonight. I hope it’s me. At dinner, my phone pringed. I shot up like I had been bitten.

“Reagan. You know the rules. No phones at dinner.” My mom scolded.

“But Mom. It’s draw day for the single room. I need to go check. Please? Thirty seconds. Promise.”

“Okay. Go check.” She waved me off. I ran to the counter and grabbed my phone. Opening the email, I read it intently. Reagan Taylor- Single room. I screeched in excitement.

“I got the single room! I got the single!”

“That’s wonderful honey. Now come finish your broccoli.” I quickly texted Zach. I got it. :) He replied while I was finishing dinner. That’s great. :)

I texted Monty after dinner as well. I got the single room. He replied while I was getting ready for bed.

Excellent. What better place for you and Dempsey to screw each other silly? Can’t wait to hear all the details.

You are such a creep.

You like it.

The Friday before we left, Zach came over after school to help me pack. My parents were having date night, so it was just the two of us for the foreseeable future. Ever the gentleman, he helped me carry my suitcase up from the storage room. The rose gold hard case set was laid out on my floor. I put Zach in charge of folding my clothes, since he was the self-proclaimed “master packer”. He pouted slightly when I said he couldn’t fold my underwear. I managed to sneak in a few more sexy sets as well. We would be gone for a week. A lot can happen in six nights.

“Do you like this shirt?” I asked him.

“It’s nice.”

“I could wear it to the Capital.”

“Yeah. Or dinner.”

“There’s going to be dinner, hmmm?”

He walked towards me and took the shirt from my hands. “There might be. There also might be a lot more than dinner.” Zach wrapped his arms around me.

“Oh really?”

“Mhmm. If you want more than dinner.”

“I do have a single room.”

“That you do. Bring the shirt.”

“Okay.” I felt a blush creeping all the way up to my ears.

After some more packing, we took a break. A very nice break. We were laying on my bed. The suitcase was still open in the corner of my room. Zach shifted so he was resting his head in his hand on his elbow. I looked up at him and grinned. He grinned back. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He leaned down and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck. Zach smiled into the kiss and moved to climb on top of me. He straddled my waist so that I was on my back again. The more he kissed me, the more I wanted this to go further.

My hands left his neck and went to pull on his shirt. I was trying to pull it off without breaking our kiss. When it was halfway up his torso, he pulled away from the kiss and pulled the cotton over his head. I smiled demurely at him. He began kissing me again and our tongues did their playful dance. I moaned softly when he kissed my neck. He didn’t suck hard enough to leave any marks. I sat up to take off my shirt when he pulled it up my stomach. He kissed me once again and I carded my fingers through his hair. My breathing started to get heavier as his Zach’s hands explored my body. My hips bucked lightly. He unzipped my jeans and I wiggled them off. They were pushed to the end of the bed along with our shirts. I struggled with his belt a little. I wasn’t used to it yet. It still felt foreign under my fingers. Finally, I had removed it. I unzipped his jeans and Zach kicked them off. He moved his kisses down my chest, brushing over the top of my bra. I sighed. My hands moved to his to the front of his torso and I ran my fingers up and down his chest. The skin was smooth, but I felt goosebumps form where I touched. We were still in our underwear. This feel so… nice. Nice is good. So why does it feel like I have no clue what I’m doing?

We made out passionately. Our exploration of each other’s bodies continued. There was light teasing and nipping at spots. It felt good. Zach unhooked my bra and I pulled it off. It landed at the end of the bed with our other clothes. I gasped when he grew bolder and sucked a pebbling nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked it a few times and I moaned his name. He used his other hand to roll and tease my other nipple. My hips couldn’t be stopped from bucking. I wanted more. I reached for his boxers. I was only able to brush his V-line. He pulled away from me.

“Did you want something?” He asked cheekily.

“Mhmm.” I moaned and reached for him again. My eyes were trained on the bulge in his boxers. They widened as he pulled them off and his cock sprang out. Reaching out, I grasped it in my hand. It felt hot and heavy. He moaned softly when I began stroking.

To make things easier and more comfortable, he rolled over so he was on his back. I sat up some and watched his face. Zach’s eyes were closed, and his brow was furrowed. He looked relaxed. I leaned down and kissed him. His fingers tangled into my hair as he deepened the kiss. My strokes became more confident and picked up speed. The quiet moans and grunts he was emitting were very encouraging. Soon enough, his hips were bucking. He sat up to stop me. I looked at him with dark eyes. He smiled at me and sat up, pushing me down on the soft mattress. Zach was gazing at me with the most kind and loving expression I had ever seen. My heart swelled.

I couldn’t wait any longer and reached to pull down my underwear. Zach pulled them down my legs and threw them towards the end of my bed. I got comfortable as he reached out for me. His fingers quickly found my core, and then my clit. My breath hitched when he rubbed it. He was gentle. I silently thanked him for that. Gathering some lubrication, he spent a little while trying different gestures and patterns as he ran his fingers through my core. There was some back-and-forth movement, as well as some up and down. It felt good but it wasn’t quite it. He tried circles and I moaned his name loudly. “That’s it. Do that. Do more of that.” My hips twisted. He leaned down to kiss me again while he rubbed me. Zach continued to rub my clit softly in circular motions. I moaned lowly as a finger entered me. It was slow and calculated. He continued to stimulate me for a few minutes, varying the speed and intensity of both his rubbing and thrusting. My hips wiggled in an attempt to get more stimulation.

Deciding I was aroused enough, he pulled away and looked at me questioningly. “There is a new box of condoms in my sock drawer.” He nodded and stood to grab one. Once the condom was properly and securely in place, he climbed back on top of me. I felt dwarfed by his large frame. He rubbed my clit and fingered me a few more times, before I felt his cock brush against my folds. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for him to enter me. I was expecting something quick. Like ripping off the band aid. Instead, he slowly pushed his way into my body. I groaned and my head rolled to the side. His breath hitched when he bottomed out.

“Shit.” He cursed in my ear.

After a few beats, he began to slowly thrust. I tried to match his slow, sweet pace. It just felt so different. Nice. Good. But still different. Zach started kissing up and down my neck again. I smiled and eventually, was able to match his thrusts. They began speeding up slightly and he intertwined his fingers with mine. I squeezed his hands. I closed my eyes when he kissed me. It almost felt like there was something missing. While I was trying to focus on the sensations coursing through my body, I realized that we weren’t just having sex. We were making love. I froze slightly but covered it by tensing up a little. I could feel my orgasm approaching anyway. I could tell it would be different than normal. I was both excited and a little scared.

As though Zach could sense my thoughts, he kissed me deeply and murmured against my lips, “let go.” His thrusts picked up speed and my hips stilled. I felt the knot in my stomach start to tighten and I clutched his shoulders. I moaned loudly as I felt the knot snap. My orgasm was different than it had been in the past. It was good, but it was less intense. There was no convulsing or extreme contortion. He continued to thrust, pulling me through my orgasm. My muscles relaxed and I slumped for a second. I could tell Zach’s high was in his reach. I began whispering dirty nothings in his ear and telling him that I loved him to try to get him to finish. I kissed his neck and nibbled softly. His thrusting became sloppy and he groaned loudly as he peaked.

With a laboured grunt, Zach rolled off of me and pulled me close to him. I closed my eyes for a second. Then I remembered I had to go to the bathroom. I rolled over and sat up slowly. When I returned to bed, Zach had discarded the condom and put on his boxers. I pulled his shirt on, along with a clean pair of underwear. Curling up in his arms, I rested my eyes for a while. “I love you.” I whispered as I drifted off.

“I love you too.” We woke up an hour later and finished packing, sneaking coy glances at each other.

Tuesday morning started unfairly early. We had to be at the airport by eight for our flight at ten. My alarm went off at five thirty. I protested as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom to shower. I didn’t need to look super cute, but I at least wanted to smell good. It was a five-hour flight. I double checked that I had everything packed while my hair towel dried. My dad knocked on my door and I grunted at him. The shower had done little to wake me up. “Morning Kiddo. I’m just going to take your suitcase downstairs.”

“K.” I muttered.

Downstairs after I got dressed, I poured myself a very large cup of coffee. I didn’t really like sleeping on planes. Plus, I could get a tea after we got through security. My mom had offered to drive Zach and I to the airport, so I called him to make sure he was up. “Good morning Baby.”

“Good morning babe.” He sighed on the other end of the line.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Jut tired.”

“Me too. Mom just wanted to make sure you were up.”

“I am. Stuff is by the door and everything.”

“Oh good. See you in half an hour?”

“Okay. See you then. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I hung up and texted Monty to make sure he was up. Get up loser, we’re going to DC.

I’m up. And it’s too early for bending Mean Girls quotes.

It’s never too early. He replied with an eye roll emoji. I shook my head and didn’t answer.

“Reagan, are you ready to go?” My mom asked.

“Yeah.” I grabbed my backpack and rolled my suitcase out to the car. Dad lifted it into the back and checked that mom and I were securely buckled. Have to make sure my girls are safe. He had said when I asked him about doing that when I was younger. I still didn’t let him see the way I smiled about it.

Zach was waiting on his front steps for us. It was still early and May was still asleep. He waved and mom opened the back hatch for him. I looked in the rear view mirror and smirked at the way his muscles bulged when he lifted his suitcase into the car. He kissed me when he got in and greeted my mom. “Thanks for the ride Mrs. Taylor.”

“Of course, Zach.” She smiled at him from the driver’s seat. Once we got onto the highway, traffic was fairly light. It was still pretty early so we beat most of the commuters. It grew heavier as we got closer to the airport. None of us were surprised. Especially given that an entire high school senior class was descending upon it.

Mom parked in the drop off zone for the airline. Zach got out and walked around the car to open my door. He hugged me tightly as I stepped out. I breathed in the fresh scent of his cologne. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I looked up at him and grinned. Throwing on my backpack, I grabbed Zach’s while he got our suitcases. Inside, we met up with our friends. Clay was basically dragging Justin through the airport. Alex and Charlie both looked very awake for seven forty-five in the morning. Must be nice. I nodded at Monty and Scott from across the room. They were talking to Bryce and Luke.

Getting our tickets and going through security went shockingly well. Since we had so much time to kill, the teachers let us roam the gate freely. We had to swear left and right we would be on the plane. I abandoned Zach with Justin and Alex to go in search of a piping hot cup of tea. “Reagan.” Monty said as he approached me.

“Morning Monty. It’s tea time.”

“I need coffee. I’ll go with you.” We walked through the gate silently. I could feel his eyes on me. He was trying way too hard to seem like he wasn’t

staring at me.

“Can I help you?”

“There’s something different about you.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“You seem… less tense.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He stopped for a minute. “Wait. Did you two finally?” I blushed. “You did. Was it good?”

“Yeah.” I replied. It wasn’t a lie. It was good.

“Yeah? Better than us?” I turned to him, perplexed.

“Is that trick question? How do you want me to answer that?”

“Is that a no?” He smirked.

“No. It’s not an answer. Because it’s none of your business.”

“Alright, don’t tell me.”

Tea and coffee in hand, we walked back to the gate to sit until our plane boarded. The minutes ticked by. Zach was watching YouTube videos on his phone. I peeked over my book at him. He looked up and smiled. I felt eyes on us and turned to Monty. He was smirking at Zach. I rolled my eyes, mouthed piss off to him, and went back to my book. The flight to DC was pretty boring. I was able to sit with Zach and we watched a movie for the first half of it. Afterwards, I listened to some music and read while he slept.

We spent the first night in DC relaxing after a long flight. I enjoyed having a single room. It was quiet and I didn’t have to argue with anyone about what bed I would get. Jess came to do a face mask and have some girl time. It was nice. “So, tell me. What’s new with you and Zach.”

“There’s not much to tell.” I fibbed. She saw right through me.

“Oh, come on Reagan. There is totally something to spill.”

“We finally had sex.”

“No way!”

“Yeah.”

“How was it?” I hesitated. “Girl talk.” She smiled at me and I knew none of what I said would get back to Zach.

“It was nice.”

“And?”

“Good.”

“Nice and good?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the best you can come up with?”

“I don’t know Jessica. It was nice.”

“But it’s supposed to be more than nice.”

“I know. And it wasn’t bad. It was just….”

“No. Don’t even think that. We cleansed. Remember?”

“Okay Ryan Shaver.” I laughed.

“Still.”

“I know. It was just different is all.”

“I get that.” She sighed wistfully. I tried to scrub the mental image of Jessica and Justin going at it like jack rabbits. Ew. No no. Bad.

We toured the Smithsonian on Wednesday and went to the Capital on Thursday to see Congress. I stuck close to Zach the whole time. Monty continued his flirting. It was as though he really had no idea what he had said to me last month on the phone. I did my best to ignore it. But it was starting to get on my nerves. I could tell Zach was growing frustrated as well. While it got on my nerves, I was having a harder and harder time ignoring the butterflies in my stomach when Montgomery tried to charm his way to me. He could tell. I just hoped Zach couldn’t. Our interactions had been tense since last month.

Tensions between me and Monty come to a head in DC. It was Friday night, three days into our weeklong trip. I was coming back from an evening coffee run with Zach and Justin. Monty was milling about with Bryce and Luke outside. I tried to ignore the pang in my chest when I saw them. Monty caught my eye and subtly nodded at me. No one in either of our groups noticed. I pulled out my phone and texted him. My room. 10 mins. He waited until we were inside the hotel to read my message. There was no response. I assumed he got the message and made to excuse myself to my room. “That was really great guys. I’m actually pretty tired and I still have to fill in my trip journal for the day. I think I’m going to head up to my room.”

“Okay, night Reagan.” Justin nodded. He seemed slightly suspicious. I chalked it up to him having his own experience with bullshit excuses.

“Do you want me to walk you up?” Zach asked.

“No, don’t worry. You hang out with Justin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Alright. Text me when you get upstairs. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I kissed him softly.

Upstairs, I threw my backpack on the unoccupied bed and threw my hair up. Since I would be getting ready for bed soon anyway, I brushed my teeth and changed into my pyjamas while I waited for Montgomery. I was putting my toiletries back in my suitcase when he knocked on my door sharply. He was standing on the other side of the door, his hands once again buried in his pockets when I opened it. “You rang.”

“Hi.” I moved out of the doorway and let him in.

“What did you want to talk about Reagan?”

“No one saw you come up here, did they?”

“No. they didn’t. Is that what you’re worried about? Someone knowing that I’m in your room?”

“Of course not. Its just….”

“Zach. You can say his name. I’m a big boy.”

“I told Zach that he didn’t have to worry about you and I.” Monty scoffed, bitterly.

“Yeah. Nothing to worry about with us. Sure.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“If I was in his place, I would worry too.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Montgomery?”

“Last month, you told me that we aren’t just friends. And you weren’t wrong. Because people who are just friends don’t look for each other in crowds. Or stop when other people are talking about them. The thing you forgot to mention is how unfair you were being to both of us.”

“I don’t do that.”

“Bullshit. I’ve seen it. And if I’ve seen it, so has Zach. He isn’t that oblivious.”

“Zach has a problem with our friendship.”

“Oh, so now you admit it. Least I got that out of you. Only took a month.”

“It makes him uncomfortable that we are so close. And I feel bad about it. I told you that already.”

“If you expect me to believe you care so much about how our friendship affects your boyfriend, then why did you call me about UNC as soon as you found out and not him? Why did you lie and cancel plans with him to spend time with me? Why is it that until a month ago, you flirted with just as much intensity as I did? Why did-.” I opened my mouth to stop him. “No. You don’t get to talk right now Reagan. It’s my turn to talk.” I closed my mouth and looked down. I was stunned and a little bit scared. He had never yelled at me like that before. “Why did you ask me to come get you when you got too drunk at a party on a college visit and not him? Even after you told me things had to change? Because I would love to hear you explain that.”

I was silent. I knew I couldn’t deny any of what he had said. We weren’t just friends. We didn’t know how to be friends. Or we never wanted to be. “Well?”

“I… you weren’t being fair to me either Monty. I’m not the only one at fault here. I wouldn’t have had to cancel on Zach if you hadn’t shown up to my house unannounced needing first aid. Again. You’re the one who started it with the flirting. As soon as you saw that I was moving on and could be happy with someone else, you fucking start flirting with me and talking to me like you had never stopped. Like you hadn’t broken my heart that day. And maybe I let it go on too long. Maybe I shouldn’t have reciprocated the flirting. But it made me feel good. And it was fun. Until it started having an impact on my actual relationship. With someone who is able to admit that he loves me. You want to stand here and talk to me about looking for someone in a crowd or stopping when people talk about them? What about when you drunk dialed me telling me that you love me? What about how anytime we are alone together you waste time leaving just so you don’t have to go? I’m not the only one at fault here. I asked you to stop flirting with me and you didn’t.”

“Is that phone call what did it?”

“I’m with someone who doesn’t have to be drunk to tell me that he loves me. And no. The call didn’t do anything. But it’s nice to know you remember it.”

“You want me to say it? I’m completely sober. You really want to hear me say it?”

“Yes.” I said loudly, exasperated.

“Easy. I love you.”

We were silent for a minute, finally aware of the tension in the air. I made the first move and kissed him. It was chaste at first. I was giving him a chance to take it back. When he didn’t pull away or stop it, I deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and placed me on the bed. His hands trailed down my body and played with the hem of my shirt. He sat on the bed beside me and pulled me on top of him. I straddled his waist and sat in his lap, slipping my hands under his t-shirt. When I traced his abs, he sucked in a breath. Everything with him felt so natural. So easy. I slipped my hands out from his shirt and pulled away from our kiss. He looked puzzled until I pulled off my shirt. I nodded at him and he pulled off his flannel. Next to go was his t-shirt. His pupils were blown. He was staring at me, not with hunger like I had expected, but in awe and admiration.

I kissed him again, but I quickly pulled away. I kissed down his neck, searching for the pulse point. We fell backwards in a mess of limbs and kisses on the plush hotel bed. His hands were on my hips instantly to steady me. I had found his pulse point and sucked at it harshly. There was sure to be a mark within the hour. I could feel him pulling at the waistband of my pyjama pants. “Yes.” I whispered in his ear. Monty pulled my bottoms down and off quickly. My underwear was still on and he snapped the waistband cheekily. “Bastard.” I said against his neck.

“You love it.” He moaned loudly when I bit his neck in response. I had to cover his mouth.

“Shhh. People could hear.”

“Screw people.”

With that, he flipped us over, so he was on top now. My hands went for his belt and I deftly undid it. My muscles still remembered the movements. The sound of the clinking metal as the hook hit the buckle. The way I had to tug a little harder to get it to come out of the loops because it stuck on the back one. Soon enough, his belt and jeans were strewn across the room along with the rest of our clothes. It was his turn to kiss me. He dragged his teeth against my bottom lip, pulling it slightly. I moaned lowly. His kisses traveled down my neck quickly. He always did prefer to leave marks on my collarbones and breasts. My neck was still fair game to him and he often left at least one mark on it at any given time. Just like he had so many times before so long ago, he left a clear bite mark on my décolleté. His attention was turned to my breasts then. He deftly unhooked my bra and pulled it off. It joined the ever-growing pile of clothes flung across the room.

The marks he left on my breasts were small in comparison to the one I had left on his neck. He is probably trying to hide them. I too, moaned loudly when he nipped my skin. He covered my mouth like I had done to him only moments before. The difference was that I grabbed his wrist in my hands like I was trying to hold onto him for dear life. I heard him chuckle and felt the stupid smirk against my chest. “Shhh. People could hear.” He mocked.

“Screw people.” He uncovered my mouth and pulled away for a moment. I gazed at him wantonly. I realized what he wanted a second later when he tried to both push and pull me further up the bed. Taking the hint, I shimmied my way up, so we had more room. Falling off the bed would certainly raise suspicion about what was happening in here.

Montgomery continued his journey down my body to my underwear. He stopped to place a gentle kiss to each of my hips. “Think you can keep quiet Kitten?” I melted at the nickname. I hadn’t heard it in so long.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He pulled at the waistband of my underwear and they landed on the floor beside the bed. I sighed as he placed kisses to my pubic mound and my upper and inner thighs. Reaching down, I placed my hand on his hair. It felt so soft. Suddenly, he placed a kiss to my clit and my hips bucked. My fingers curled in his hair slightly. I moaned again, quietly this time, when he began to lap at my folds. My fingers curled in his hair more still. I couldn’t stop myself from tugging slightly. When he focused on sucking my clit I pulled on his hair. He moaned against my core and my body shook. When he added a finger or two to the mix, I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. I had been secretly imagining this moment for the better part of a year. This felt so much better than I could have ever imagined. My orgasm began to build quickly. My walls started to flutter. Monty chuckled. He was well versed in my body’s reactions to stimuli. We both knew what was coming. His fingers thrust faster, and he stopped sucking my clit. Instead, he rubbed my clit harshly. I had to cover my mouth to keep from moaning too loudly. And then everything was bright and light for a second. I felt a, thankfully given our location, small trickle of liquid spill its way out of me. Monty gently slowed, and then stopped his thrusting and rubbing. I was panting and trying to catch my breath.

“Just give me a second.”

“Of course. Take your time.”

I looked down at him as he climbed up the bed. He settled beside me and reached down to palm at his hard dick. Once I had caught my breath, I shoved his hands out of the way and took over the palming. “You are so evil.” He grumbled.

“You love it.” I slipped my hand under the band of his boxer briefs. I hadn’t even touched his dick and he was bucking his hips already. He gasped when I brushed his dick with my fingertips lightly. I grasped it in my hand and stoked it. My movements were stilted by his underwear. After I took them off and dropped them next to my own underwear, there was much more real estate to work with. My hand was back to stroking right away. I was mostly just trying to bide time getting my energy back.

A little longer and my energy was back up to useful levels. So, I straddled his waist again and leaned in to kiss him. I wasn’t as conscious of my nakedness as I normally was. Our kiss was heated but I managed to pull away somehow. The trailing kisses down his chest made his breathing heavy. When I reached his cock, I licked a stripe from base to tip. I felt him tug at my ponytail holder. “I will never understand how this works.” I chuckled and reached up to pull my hair down. It fell in a cascade around my face. I tucked some behind my ear and repeated the same lick. The groan and hand that was winding its way in my hair told me all I needed to know. I smiled to myself before taking his cock in my mouth. I sucked slowly at first. I needed to take a few minutes to get used to the feeling. He removed his hand from my hair then, letting me do my thing. He put it back when I started to take more and more into my mouth and throat. I sighed softly when I managed to take it all. That last half inch was always iffy. His hand was wrapped up in my hair and holding it away from my face. I was surprised that he remembered not to tug when I started bobbing my head. Or maybe that wouldn’t be something a guy would forget. His hand traveled down to the base of my hair and rested against my skull. He started to buck his hips and I gagged slightly. Focusing on breathing through my nose, I kept my pace up. I knew he was holding back. I moaned around his cock and he cursed under his breath. I didn’t quite catch it. I stopped sucking to take a big breath of air.

Before I could resume my actions, Monty tugged on my hair. I looked up at him. There’s the hunger. He tugged on my hair again. He was trying to pull me up towards him without hurting me or being too demanding about it. I crawled forward towards the headboard. Kissing him again was the easiest choice I made this trip. I got lost in the feeling of his lips on mine and his tongue fighting mine for dominance. He took advantage of my distraction and rolled us over again. He always did like to be on top. “Do you have a condom anywhere?” he asked between kisses.

“I slipped one in the nightstand beside the Bible.” I breathed.

“You would put it beside the Bible.” He sat up and reached into the drawer, pulling out the blue foil packet. Once the condom was in place and the foil was discarded, he kissed me again. He was still kissing me when he adjusted our positions so he could enter me. My neck had always been a favourite spot to kiss. I gasped when I felt his cock enter me. It felt amazing. My body knew what to do instinctively as soon as he began thrusting. My hips were quickly able to match his pace. I gripped his biceps tightly, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t dreaming.

As his pace quickened, mine stilled. I was watching him. His brow was furrowed, focusing on this moment. I was pretty sure both of us weren’t sure if it would ever happen again. I reached up and brushed some hair that had fallen into his face away. Montgomery hit a particularly sensitive spot and my hand fell to his shoulder, squeezing and digging my nails into the skin. I moaned loudly and he kissed me to muffle it. “Shhh.” He cooed against my mouth. I whimpered. I felt my orgasm building again. It was coming on fast. My hips started to move on their own accord again. His thrusts started to falter, and I mewled. We were both on a rollercoaster that was speeding up to a stomach dropping fall. I covered my mouth so no one could hear the scream trying to jump from my throat. My eyes screwed shut tightly and my eyes rolled back in my head. The white light was so bright. As soon as my orgasm began to hit, so did Monty’s.

He pulled out of me quickly and discarded the used condom. All but falling over me, he rolled onto his back. We were both breathless. I was gasping for air. He was panting heavily. I rolled over onto my side, for some reason shy to cuddle up against him. It seemed silly to be concerned about that after what we had just done. But it felt like crossing a line. “Come here.” Monty pulled me closer to him.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? It doesn’t cross a line?”

“Reagan. We just had arguably the best sex of our lives and I told you I love you. I think we are way past being concerned about crossing lines.” I sighed, realizing he was probably right. Might as well get comfortable. “You need to go pee first.” I sighed again and excused myself. Back in bed, I curled up beside him again.

“We had to go and make everything complicated.”

“When has anything about us not been complicated?”

“I guess you’re right. Will you stay?” He checked his watch and thought for a minute.

“I can stay for a while if you want me to.”

“Yes please.”

I woke up the next morning alone with the blankets tucked around me tightly. There was a note on the pillow next to me written in Montgomery’s messy scrawl. I’ll be waiting. Remember that. I love you. I set the note in my lap and rubbed my face. I should check my phone. See if I missed anything important. Zach had texted me to say good night the night before, while I was… otherwise engaged. There was a text from Justin asking if I needed to talk. And Scott. He wanted to know if I knew where Monty was last night. Oh god. I forgot they were sharing a room. Oh shit. I need to face Zach now. Deciding it would be best to get it over with as soon as possible, I dragged my butt out of bed. I tucked Monty’s note in my suitcase while I got dressed.

When I looked in the mirror and saw the marks on my chest and neck, I rolled my eyes. I packed a heavy-duty concealer for my under eyes. I wasn’t planning on using it to cover hickeys that my ex-boyfriend left on me. Blending and layering took longer than expected but it was early enough that I was still done at a reasonable time. I had to leave my hair down though. Throwing on a pair of sneakers, I made my way to Zach and Justin’s room. I paused for a second when I passed Montgomery’s room. I shook my head. You can’t. Not while Zach is still a factor in the equation. I knocked on Zach’s door and he opened it shirtless. My eyes trailed down his body. I couldn’t stop the memories of last night from flooding back. “Good morning beautiful.”

“Morning Zachy. Can I come in?”

“Yeah. I’m just about ready.” I nodded and went to sit on his bed. Thankfully I wasn’t walking funny. When he was ready, we went downstairs hand in hand.

Monty was talking to Scott in the hotel lobby. I was shocked to see him awake and dressed at this time. The man likes his sleep. And we didn’t exactly get much last night. “Morning Scott. Monty.” Zach stopped to talk as we passed. I couldn’t look Monty in the eye.

“Morning lovebirds.” Scott replied.

“Zach. Reagan.”

“Morning.”

“No tea yet?”

“No.”

“I see. Long night?” I could hear the smirk in Monty’s voice. I hate you.

“I stayed up watching tv.” Zach began making small talk with the boys but I didn’t contribute anymore. I just wanted to get out of there and be alone with my boyfriend. Part of me hoped I could forget that last night ever happened. That didn’t stop me from thinking about it though. The longer they talked, the more I thought about it.

“Babe let’s go. Brunch is waiting.” I urged him to stop talking to Monty and Scott. Please don’t invite them.

“It’s not even eleven Rea. I don’t think it counts as brunch yet.” Scott laughed.

“Okay, then breakfast is waiting. Either way, I’m hungry and food that is far too calories dense to be considered a proper morning meal is waiting.”

“Did you guys want to come with?” My eyes widened. Did he just…? He did not just invite them with us.

“Uh.” Monty cleared his throat. “Are you sure you want to invite me?”

“Yeah. I mean, you and Reagan are friends. I’m going to have to get used to it somehow.”

“Why don’t we ask Reagan?” Monty turned and looked at me, raising an inquisitive brow.

“Um. I- uh.” I looked down, blushing. “I was kind of hoping we could go… just the two of us?” I asked Zach, raising my voice a couple of octaves.

“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought…,” he paused and took my hand again, “of course we can go just us. I was just trying to be nice and make an effort.” He was looking at me so kindly that I had to look away. “Sorry guys.”

“Nah, no worries. Gotta get time with your girl.” Scott waved it off. He shot Monty a look that I didn’t like. It made me feel uneasy. Does he know? Before I could think too much into it, Zach was leading me outside.

Brunch was delicious. Zach was his usual slightly oblivious but in a cute way self. If he had any idea something was wrong, he didn’t let on. On our way back, we stopped to sit and look at the White House from a distance. “Why did you invite Monty and Scott to have brunch with us?”

“Well, I didn’t realize you wanted to go just the two of us.”

“That’s not what I meant. You don’t like Monty. So why invite him to hang out?”

“He’s your friend. As much as I don’t like it and I don’t like how he talks to you, he’s important to you. So, I’m willing to try to be nice to him.” Oh. Well now I feel like even more of an asshole.

“That… That’s really nice of you Zachy. Thank you.”

“No problem. What do you say we head back and watch a movie in your room?” He kissed my temple and stood, holding his hand out to me.

“My room? Could we maybe go back to yours? Mine is kind of messy. I had some trouble finding something to wear this morning.”

“Okay. I don’t think Justin is holing himself up in there today.”

Scott caught us when we got back to the hotel. “Hey! Can I steal Reagan for a few minutes? I need to ask her something about an assignment in Spanish.”

“Sure. We were just going to watch a movie.”

“O-okay.” I waved to Zach and trailed behind Scott to his and Monty’s shared room. “I’m hopeless at Spanish and you know it. What is this about?” Please tell me he doesn’t know.

“Are you going to tell Zach about last night?” Fuck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s crap. Are you going to tell him, or not? Because he deserves to know.”

“How do you know about it?”

“Monty didn’t come in until like two or three this morning. I hadn’t seen him for hours before that. When I saw him this morning, and the calling card you left on his neck, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. The concealer on your neck just confirmed my suspicions. Just be thankful Zach is too oblivious to notice it.” I sighed, knowing he was right.

“I will. Just… not while we are still here. I don’t want to ruin anything. More than it already is anyway. Plus no one wants to deal with anyone getting arrested on a school trip.”

“Okay.”

“Is that all?” I turned to leave.

“Yeah. Actually, one more thing?” I stopped just short of the door. “Monty really does love you. And anyone with half a brain cell can see that you still love him. So, you deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks Scott.”

I spent the rest of the trip trying to avoid Montgomery and hold my tongue around Zach. I slept almost the whole flight back to California. School the next day dragged on. It continued to drag on for the next two weeks. Senioritis had set in hard now that we were done the D.C. trip. No one wanted to be there. We were graduating in a month. Most of us were going off to college. The last few weeks of school were basically pointless anyways. Even our teachers didn’t care as much. It was hard, but I managed to stay pretty cordial with Monty. I kept up appearances that everything was fine for most of the two weeks following the trip with Zach. On Friday I woke up and decided that it was time. I had to end things. I had to be fair to him. I had to take a chance and see if Monty and I could make things work this time. I texted Zach on my way to school. Meet me at the docks after school? The water is beautiful this time of year.

Sure.

I sat in my car for ten minutes after I arrived, trying to talk myself out of talking myself out of doing this. Zach wasn’t here yet so I got out of the car and walked around, trying to find a secluded bench where we could talk in private. I found the perfect one under a tree in the shade. It had an amazing view of the water. I snapped a selfie and sent it to him. Come and find me.

Zach snuck up and slid into the spot next to me. I jumped slightly. “Hey beautiful.”

“Hey.”

“I missed you today.”

“Yeah, I had some stuff to do. You know, last minute projects and final touches on assignments.”

“I know.” We sat quietly for a bit, just admiring the view. “You’re right. The water is beautiful this time of year.”

“Yeah.” I picked at my nails nervously. Just do it. “Listen, Zach….” I started.

“Yes?” He took my hand in his. I stared down at it.

“I- I think that…,” I paused. “I think that we need to break up.”

“What? Why?”

“I think it would be the best thing for us Zach.”

“Do you not love me anymore?”

“What? No, of course I do. It’s just… things are changing so fast.”

“Then why?”

“We are both going away to school next year and it will be too hard. I don’t want you to be tied down to someone on the other side or halfway across the country.”

“How do you know it will be too hard, Reagan?”

“Because. I’ve seen people try to make it work. We are eighteen Zach. We have our whole lives ahead of us. College is supposed to be the time where we experiment and make mistakes. To drink too many mixed drinks and wake up in someone else’s bed. I want you to experience that. And you can’t do that if you aren’t single.”

“We don’t leave for school for another two months at least though.”

“I don’t want us to wait until a week before we leave to decide that going into college single is the best choice.” Zach was silent for a while. I felt so bad. It needed to be done though.

“I guess you’re right.” I smiled sadly at him. “You’ll always be special to me, you know that?”

“I know. You’ll always be special to me too.” I squeezed his hand and he kissed me softly for the last time. Knowing he would need time to sit and process, I was the one who stood and left him on the bench.

In my car before driving away from the docks and Zach, I sent a text message. Four words. Eleven letters. I hoped he would know what it meant. I love you too. The weight of hitting send was unimaginable. I had spent so long denying it, that I didn’t know how to feel about it. I guess I would just have to wait and see what the future held.

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oh-hush-its-perfect · 3 years ago

Text

Alex Fierro's Introduction Full Breakdown

Okokok so. This is going to go full English-professor mode, where I'm drawing conclusions that are gonna seem a little far-fetched. That's what's fun about media analysis! I can say something is a symbol, and even if I don't have enough faith in RR's competency to know if he meant for it to be a symbol, it's still true! That being said, a lot of these choices I'm sure are intentional, either at a literal or subliminal level. Page numbers are going to be used not to assert a kind of authority or whatever— this is a Tumblr post, not an essay— but to help readers find the pages I'm referencing in case they'd like to do some digging of their own. Also, this is going to be really long. Really sorry to anyone with ADHD; I might make an audiofile of this so you can get the information without having to read the whole thing. With all that, let's get into it!

To kick off, let's talk about Alex being in the form of a cheetah when she first meets Magnus. Of course, there's the obvious impact of him seeing her but only so breifly, as well as introducing the conflict between her and the rest of Hall 19. But that could have easily been accomplished by almost any animal. The choice of a cheetah being implicated implies two qualities of Alex that will be recurrent throughout the two books she's in: 1. She has a tendency to run away, as we'll later learn when she describes how she became homeless, and 2. To Magnus, she's elusive. She can't be caught or held down. The event that shows this so transparently is how Alex refuses to define their relationship at the end of the series, despite it clearly surpassing the normal bounds of friendship.

But the cheetah isn't the animal Alex is in the form of when Magnus first gets a good look at her; she's a weasel. Weasel's bring up all kinds of connotations: ferocity, slickness, a lack of charm. When we want to describe someone as an untrustworthy person, we call them a weasel. RR had Alex take this form to play up her comrades' feeling of distrust towards her. She could be a double-crosser. But paradoxically, the up-front and vicious mannerisms of a weasel also have a transperency. She does not try appealing to her Hallmate's sense of goodwill because she doesn't have anything to gain from it. So even though there is the implication that she might be an antagonist, there's also evidence from her actions and mannerisms that she isn't. The weasel's long and skinny frame also allow for a smooth transition into Alex's actual body, which is convenient.

As Alex transforms into her usual human form, Magnus describes her as "a regular human teen, long and lanky, with a swirl of dyed green hair, black at the roots, like a plug of weeds pulled out of a lawn" (pg. 50). That simile at the end is of particular interest. Let's compare it to another time Magnus describes Alex's hair, in Ship of the Dead: "Her hair had started to grow out, the black roots making her look even more imposing, like a lion with a healthy mane" (pg. 136). By contrasting these two different examples, we can see the development of Magnus and Alex's relationship. The first time he sees her, he thinks of her hair as something nasty— note the word choice "weeds." Later on, though, he becomes more affectionate towards her, more complentary. The immedient negative reaction is less his actual impression, though, and more the reaction he expected to have based on everyone else's reaction to Alex.

Her clothes are equally as interesting; as Magnus describes it, Alex wears "battered rose high-tops, skinny lime green corduroy pants, a pink-and-green argyle sweater-vest over a white tee, and another pink cashmere sweather wrapped around the waist like a kilt" (pg. 50). Aside from the obvious fact that this outfit is a) bizzare, b) fire, and c) Alex's signature colors, which add a layer of style to what can otherwise be a somewhat boring series fashion-wise (excuse me, Blitz), the outfit reveals a crucial facet of Alex's backstory in a kind of subtle way. These are expensive clothes, like the Stella McCartney dress in Alex's room. Note the mention of fabrics (corduroy, cashmere) and patterns (argyle). These indicate wealth and status. Even the high-tops; shoes like that don't come cheap. But I'd like to return to the very first word of the section: "battered." Alex's wardrobe show-cases a proximity to wealth, but also shows that that proximity has been strained and lengthened, maybe for an extended period of time. Alex dresses like a rich person, but she isn't one. Least, not anymore.

The last word of that outfit-introduction is also of interest: "kilt." At the current moment, Magnus thinks that Alex is male. No one has indicated otherwise to him. Everyone has been referring to Alex with he/him pronouns. Samirah called Alex her "brother" (pg. 29). His first thought in seeing what he at first perceives as a guy with a jacket wrapped around the waist is That looks like a kilt. This thought tells us about Magnus: despite being open and accepting, he still has some lingering notions of gender conformity from his years in wider American society.

Magnus also indicates that the outfit "reminded me of a jester's motley, or the coloration of a venomous animal warning the whole world" (pg. 50). This is rather self-explanatory, but it's still worth noting that Magnus sees the outfit as something bizzare, strange, and even perhaps comical. This places Alex at odds with the other people Magnus has met. It also reveals that Magnus has zero fashion sense. But we already knew that.

After finishing up staring at the ensemble, Magnus finally gets around to actually looking Alex in the face. First Magnus says that he "forgot how to breathe" (pg. 50), which, yeah, relatable. This is justifed by saying that Alex has the same face as Loki, but the very same sentence that asserts that that's the case also suggests an alternative reason: Alex has "the same unearthly beauty" as her father. Here we can see the beginnings of Magnus's attraction to Alex, though at this point, he still has a lot of internalized homophobia. Though there's certainly some truth in that Magnus was unnerved by Alex's resemblance to Loki, the idea that Magnus pointed out that Alex was pretty without elaborating on that thought until about a chapter later— after he was informed that Alex was presently a girl— can tell us a lot about how Magnus perceives sex and beauty.

Of course, Alex's eyes are given special attention. She has cool eyes; what can I say? But I'd like to focus in on how Magnus here depicts Alex's heterochromia as "completely unnerving" (pg. 50). Again, let's contrast this with how he describes them after getting to know Alex a little better in Ship of the Dead. In Chapter 3, Magnus describes "[Alex's] dark brown eye and his amber eye like mismatched moons cresting the horizon" (pg. 25). Once again, this shows the development of their relationship— but this time, it's in a much more personal way. Eyes are the windows to the soul; they are culturally important and biologically important in inter-personal connections. In you look into someone's eyes, you're giving them your full attention, and you're implying a kind of closeness. The way that Magnus describes Alex's eyes in the second passage is downright intimate. At this point, he is in love with Alex, and it is clear when contrasting the two descriptions.

As my last point, I'd like to discuss Alex's first words on page: "'Point that rifle somewhere else, or I will wrap it around your neck like a bow tie'" (pg. 51). First of all, Alex saying this with a "perfect white smile" (pg. 51) on his face implies that she is used to being threatened. She is not afraid of being shot; she counters the promise of an attack with a promise of her own. This pleads the question: why is Alex accustomed to violence? What events of her past or qualities of her life have brought her to this point? The threat itself reveals Alex's trauma from being genderfluid in a society with rigid gender norms, as well as her antagonistic relationship with her father. Magnus makes a comment that Alex "might actually know how to tie a bow tie, which was kind scary arcane knowledge" (pg. 51). Like Alex's wardrobe, the idea that she may have experience in high-class fashion also implies her former status as a rich kid.

I could go on. I could break apart Alex saying "'Pleased to meet you all, I guess'" (pg. 51). There is a wealth of information in this short page span that tells us things about Alex Fierro in the present moment, quietly demonstrates things about her past, and characterizes the narrator Magnus Chase. This passage is also effective in hindsight in marking the progress of Magnus and Alex's relationship.

But I'd like to take a step back and look at not the pieces, but the whole picture. Alex Fierro gets a full page of pure description— her outfit, her face— and about a chapter of introduction. This comes after several chapters of build-up. Alex Fierro is an important character you need to keep your eyes on. Alex Fierro is emotionally significant to the main character, Magnus Chase. Alex Fierro is one of the most developed and well-rounded characters that Rick Riordan has ever written— heck, she's one of the best characters in middle-grade books period. The extended emphasis on her and her alone tells us exactly what role she's going to play in this story: she's the star.

#she IS the moment #I'm sure I missed a few things too #alex fierro #mcga #magnus chase #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #fierrochase #magnus chase/alex fierro #mcatgoa

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darkacademicfrom2021 · 4 years ago

Text

A gentlecat.

Summary: A black cat comforts you when you need it the most. Your new friend is quite peculiar for an animal. It's almost like they could understand you.

Pairing: Loki x gender neutral reader (it's not actually a "pairing", you can see it as a friendship, or something platonic).

Word count: 2K.

Warnings: anxiety, sadness.

Disclaimer: picture not mine.

You used to frequent the roof of the compound everytime you were melancholic.

Or everytime you had too many feelings to process and needed time alone. Or anytime you felt too empty and needed to refill on sentiments and life by staring at the moon and remembering how much it means to exist in this world. Or too overwhelmed, and needed to be reminded of how little it all matters, how few are the things that are actually important.

No matter the motive, the roof and the moon were always there with you.

The wind blew on your face, almost like a whisper, almost like a caress. The same wind that blew on a crying child, or a couple of teenagers kissing for the first time, or an old man remembering with gratitude the love of his life. Or a lost young who, just like you, was looking at the moon searching for a meaning. An answer. Why all of this? Why to you? Why to everyone and why everything at the same time?

You inhaled a deep breath as you laid your back against the floor of the terrace, and the only thing you got to see were the few starts pollution would let you, and the gigantic moon smiling at you.

A noise startled you, and you were sitting back up again in no time. Being an avenger made you a little more paranoid than you expected. But you didn't say anything. You looked around nervously and waited for the sound to reappear. And it did.

"Who's there?".

No answer. You heart was pounding, but you didn't let your voice break. A hand flew right to the knife in your thigh, waiting for the danger to appear.

The noise came out of the shadows. A black cat approached you precatiously, almost as if they knew you were a threat. You put your guard down and finally sighed.

"God, little thing, you scared me", you whispered as you put a hand near them to let them smell you and be familiar with you. The cat didn't do so, instead, they sat by your side and rested their head on your hand. "Well, you certainly trust easier than me".

The cat meowed answering you, and you felt a connection to them. You loved animals, but this one was different. It was almost like they could understand your words. You moved your thumb slowly, petting their head. The cat let you, staring at you with intensity. Blueish green eyes that you felt like you knew from somewhere else.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" You asked, and you felt stupid. What life choices had lead you to the point of talking to a black cat on a roof, while everyone else was partying? The cat meowed back again. You chuckled. "So you understand what I say? I'll keep talking, then. Just don't think I'm too crazy". The cat purrowed in your hand, and you took it as a yes.

"I just... I don't like these parties, you know? I don't feel well when there's too many people around me, and all the noise... you'd understand, I think cats are sort of like that, right?". The cat meowed again. You smiled. "I appreciate being here, I really do. But the whole Avengers show we should put up... I don't buy it. We know damn well we're not what we pretend to be". You ranted, and realized immediately after you should've been looking around first. If anyone actually heard you, you'd be in big trouble. You went back to a whisper "but that's our little secret".

The cat slowly walked nearer you and looked at you before sitting in your lap, as to look for approval. You nodded and caressed the fur as they did so.

"Do you have a name?" You asked, looking for a collar. "Weird. A cat so well taken care of like you should have an owner". The cat hissed and you laughed "alright, not an owner. You don't like the expression, I get it. A human partner, maybe?". The cat stared at you again. You wished they could talk, but it was probably better off like that. Maybe you liked animals because they couldn't talk.

"So you're from the streets?".

The cat looked inside the compound and then looked back at you again. You interpreted as if they was asking you why wouldn't you go back. "I can't go in there, I got too anxious and said I was sick". You swear you saw the cat roll their eyes.

"Why are you here?". And you immediately laughed "oh, God. I'm asking questions to a cat. What am I waiting for? An answer? You probably just want food. Wait here, I'm gonna get you some. I'll steal some of Bucky's. He has a cat, too".

You sneaked through the party and nobody noticed you passed by. Once you were back, the cat wasn't there anymore. You left the food in a cup of tea on the floor, just in case they came back, and went back to the compound.

The next time you were on the roof, you weren't running away from any party. It was that same week that you felt increasingly anxious out of nowhere, in the middle of a dinner. After a while you went back to bed and you overheard the asgardian brothers discuss something in a low voice outside your room. Thor wanted to walk in and make sure you were fine; his brother told him he knew you needed space, so you were better off left alone. You wondered how he knew that, and then realized he was like that too.

You basically never spoke to him, but you always shared your silences. Everyone in the Stark Tower was so... enthusiastic. Outgoing. You and Loki enjoyed the silence of the nights over a good book and a warm drink. You barely spoke to each other. You were various meters away, in different parts of the common room (that one with the big couches and old books Mr. Stark set up for the introverts of the group, ahem, you two and ocassionally little Peter Parker). But you were there, always sharing that loneliness you craved in such crazy times.

After a while, you crawled out of bed and rested your arms in the window. You realized there was someone waiting for you in there.

"Hello, friend".

The cat purrowed in your hand. They had a protein bar in their mouth, as to give it to you. You frowned in confusion.

"You know, whatever you are, you don't pretend to be a cat very well". The cat opened their eyes widely, and you laughed. "But thank you. I don't know how you knew I didn't have dinner, but I appreciate this very much".

You opened your window so that they could come in, but they didn't. They looked inside, but stayed in there, as to care for your privacy. "It's fine, you can come in". The cat stayed out, anyways. "I think I'm gonna do some reading. If you care to join me, you're invited".

You and the black cat stayed up all night on the balcony of your room. You read in silence and the cat rested on your lap, purring and staring at you with those big, intense eyes. The night wasn't cold, but refreshing. Windy, before the big rainstorm that would have place next day. You loved that weather.

It wasn't the only occasion you stayed all night with the company of the black cat. Once they already felt comfortable enough to get in your room, you'd both lay in bed, and the cat would curl around your neck, using your shoulders as a mattress.

One dark and rainy afternoon you were on the roof, and the cat was with you, laying on the floor, watching the stars and the moon, just like you. You overheard some of the Avengers talking about you. Clint's voice commenting on how you basically adopted a stray, and Tony laughing. Thor corrected them you befriended a cat, and you chuckled at the offense he took from the word "adopted".

"Don't worry, I befriended you. You seem to be good by yourself", you clarified. The cat meowed.

It got dark and you stayed in the floor until the last light on the compound was turned off. The cat seemed to be curious as why you stayed for so long.

"I want to go to the common room, I haven't been there in a few weeks", you commented. "Best time of the day is when almost everyone's asleep".

At some point of the night you got up and walked through the compound to get to the kitchen. The cat followed your steps, and you swore they knew the way.

You poured some warm milk in a cup for the cat and they waited for you to have your coffee in hand to start sipping. You both sat on the couch of the common room.

"Such a polite gentle...cat", you whispered. "You know, it's so weird this is empty right now. At this time there's someone else reading here". The cat looked at you and you didn't understand what they meant. "I think he would like you. You have sort of the same energy, maybe that's why I even befriended you. Someday, if you let me, I'll introduce you two". The cat nodded weirdly.

You spilled some coffee on your shirt and cursed to yourself. The cat went to the counter and grabbed a napkin for you. At that point, they didn't even pretend to act like a cat at all.

"Ah, thank you". As you cleaned yourself, the cat looked at the book you were reading. It was in old norse. The cat looked at you with interrogative eyes. "Ah, that's... stupid, actually. I'm a little embarrassed I'm even doing that". The cat sat infront of you, and you felt like it was a way to ask you for more. You felt free to elaborate.

"This man... well, not a man. There's someone in this compound I never speak to, yet I still feel very connected to, you know? And everytime we're reading together, he reads these very dusty and heavy books in old norse. I didn't know that language, of course. But I was always curious to see what he read. You know, he can spend all night up reading those pages; he's so concentrated he doesn't notice his expressions. But they're great. He smiles, and frowns, and sighs. And I don't think he's aware of that, but I find it so beautiful", you explained. The cat kept looking at you with their eyes wide open. You sighed and continued. "Anyways. I just... I wanted to see a bit more of him. I'm too... shy, I guess? To actually talk to him. In fact, I feel a little intimidated, he's tall, and has some darkness in his eyes, and... well, he's a God. But I'd... I don't know. I learnt old norse and I started reading these books. And I feel like I understand him a little more. Even a little".

The cat looked down a bit and made themself a ball of fur in your lap. You kept reading. They rested their head in your arm and stared at the book as you read, as if they were reading it too.

When you woke up, you were in that same couch. The cat was nowhere to be found. You had a blanket over you, the book was closed over the coffee table, and your shoes were off. You felt weirdly safe. Anonymously taken care of.

You heard noises in the room next door -the kitchen-, and you peeped in. The God of Mischief was in there, making two cups of coffee. He turned around as he heard you walk in, and handed you one cup.

"Góðan morgin", he said. It meant good morning. You swear you saw a little smile forming in the corners of his mouth.

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aethelflaedladyofmercia · 3 years ago

Text

De Amore

My fic for @aceomenszine is finally available on AO3!

Aziraphale has come to Paris to find the answer to an important question: What's it like to be in love? Crowley's not sure why he wants to know, but he's willing to discuss it to make his angel happy. Full text below!

“What’s it like to be in love?”

Crowley stumbled to a stop on the Paris street, glaring at the angel beside him. Aziraphale stared straight ahead, walking with his usual expression: calm, poised, slightly arrogant. As if he were talking about the weather.

“Dunno. S’a human thing, isn’t it?” He scowled at a few gawking peasants, hurrying to catch up. “Romance. Lust. Sex. Nothing to do with us.”

“You could say the same of hunger, or exhaustion, or boredom.”

“Yeah, and I’d be right.” Crowley held out an arm to stop Aziraphale from walking directly into a produce cart. “Neither of us gets exhausted. You’re never tired, and I just like a good nap sometimes.”

“Really?” A flicker of that mocking bastard smirk. “How many nights did you sleep this past week?”

“Nrrg. Five or six, but that’s not the point.” They started walking again, Crowley tossing an apple he’d snuck from the cart. “I could stop if I wanted to — I’d miss it, but s’not the same as being tired. Same with you and eating.”

“But if I desire a food, so strongly I can already taste it, surely that’s…if not exactly hunger, a close approximation?”

“Don’t think so.” Crowley offered the apple, but Aziraphale shook his head. “Spend a couple days in the city, you’ll see what hunger looks like. S’not about pleasure or wanting a particular food. It’s need, desperation. And we just don’t experience that.” He tossed the apple towards a group of children, and a girl in a ragged dress caught it. “Boredom I’ll grant you. I’ve definitely been bored.”

“So, we might enjoy things as humans do, but never desire them the same way,” Aziraphale mused, smoothing his hands down the front of his stolen jacket. “But is love the longing for a connection with another, or the pleasure of that connection?”

“Doesn’t really make a difference to us, does it?”

He waited for Aziraphale to respond, but the angel simply continued walking, hands folded behind his back, eyes more distant than usual.

“So?” Crowley prodded after nearly a block in silence. “What brought this on?” Aziraphale shrugged. “Let me guess. Reading novels again? Sappy poetry? Getting…ideas?” He stepped ahead of Aziraphale and walked backwards, to ensure the angel saw his suggestive eyebrow wiggle. No response. Crowley shrugged, falling back into step. “Look, f’you want to try falling in love with a human, s’your business. Let me know how it goes. Just do it back in London, I don’t need that…drama getting back to my bosses.”

“That’s not it,” Aziraphale snapped, wringing his hands. “It’s not — it doesn’t even work that way, Crowley. Humans don’t just decide to fall in love!”

“They don’t cross an ocean and charge through a revolution for a snack, either.”

“Oh, never mind. Clearly you’re the expert here.” Aziraphale froze, glaring at a shop just ahead, and threw his hands up in disgust. “And now they’ve closed my favorite creperie! Why do I even bother? Might as well return to England and feast upon whatever lumpy brown bread the first tavern I pass serves.”

“Stop being dramatic,” Crowley hissed, turning down a side street and gesturing for Aziraphale to follow. “If you get locked up again, I’m not rescuing you a second time.” The angel’s lips twisted sourly. “Look, gourmet crepes aren’t really in demand right now, but I know a place. Might still be open.”

“I suppose that will have to do.”

Crowley rolled his eyes and glared at the sky, thin grey clouds veiling the sun. He should probably just let Aziraphale stew in his own sullen displeasure. Might even give him an advantage — a distracted angel was easier to outsmart.

But Crowley hadn’t been in the business of thwarting Aziraphale for over a thousand years. Why oppose each other, when they could work…not together, but in tandem? Ensuring all their duties were fulfilled, their paperwork properly filed.

It was better this way. Less fuss all around, less inconvenience. Pleasanter conversation. More time for trips to the theater or quiet meals, either of which was a far better way to spend an evening than any sort of elaborate espionage.

He’d been looking forward to griping about his job over a mug of cider while Aziraphale worked his way through a plate of crepes, smiling and wiggling in his seat. Watching Aziraphale get excited over something was, in Crowley’s opinion, one of the best ways to pass the time.

Only the conversation had left Aziraphale annoyed, pouting and…Crowley studied him carefully, dark glasses imperfectly hiding his eyes. More than anything, Aziraphale looked hurt. A sight that always made Crowley’s stomach twist painfully.

He sighed, tossing back his head. “‘Love is an inborn suffering, proceeding from the sight and immoderate thought upon the beauty of another, for which cause above all other things one wishes to embrace the other and, by common assent, in this embrace to fulfil the commandments of love.’”[1]

“I beg your pardon?”

“Look, I don’t know. You asked me—!” Crowley walked faster, face growing hot. “It’s from some old treatise, right? Love, he says, is seeing someone beautiful and wanting sex. Then, when you have your fill…” he waved his hand vaguely.

“I see.” Aziraphale adjusted his sleeves. “I suppose that…makes sense.” But he still looked grim.

Up ahead, not quite along their path, stood one of Paris’s parks, gates now open to the public. Apart from some rubbish cluttering the entrance, it seemed well-maintained. Crowley tipped his head, inviting.

Aziraphale’s eyes lit up and he nodded, the first hint of a smile on his face. It always made Crowley feel light, that smile, however briefly it appeared.

They wandered in silence up the path, lined by trees here, flowerbeds there. Leaves had turned yellow and the grass was edged with brown, but the roses were still in bloom. Crowley paused to pluck a particularly well-formed bud.

As they crossed a bridge over a small watercourse, Aziraphale suddenly said, “Do you think it’s true, though? That — that treatise? Because it rather sounds like he didn’t see any difference between lust and love.”

“Mmh.” Crowley paused, gazing downstream, where a group of ducks swam contentedly. “As a demon? Yeah. Fits the party line. Humans don’t think of anything but their own pleasure, always wanting what they don’t have. Jealous, possessive, until something better comes along. Then it starts all over. If love and lust aren’t the same, well, they’re pretty close, right?”

“I see.” Aziraphale stepped beside him, holding out his red cap, now filled with grains of barley and cracked corn. They each took a handful and tossed it down. The ducks swam over eagerly, bobbing to catch the seeds before they drifted away.

“But as a being who’s been in the world nearly six thousand years?” Crowley threw another handful, then leaned against the railing, crossing his arms. “Not so sure. Humans do too much that can’t be explained by simple pleasure. Besides, I’ve seen what they do when overwhelmed by lust, and what they do when overwhelmed by love and…dunno. S’not the same.”

More handfuls of grains as a second group of ducks approached.

“What d’you think, Angel?” Crowley prodded. “Must be something in all those books you read.”

“Oh, quite a lot,” Aziraphale assured him. “Much of it contradictory. Many poets will only talk about their beloved’s face, or eyes, but if it were simply a matter of beauty, surely everyone would fall in love with the same beauties.”

“Sometimes they do.” Crowley rolled some seeds between his palms. “S’where the jealousy comes in. But yeah. Gotta be more to it than that.”

“I hope you’re not planning to make those poor ducks sink.”

“What? Nk — no. Course not.” He threw the grains down and the ducks quickly swarmed, turning bright shades of pink and blue and violet as they ate.

“Crowley.”

“Oh, it’s not hurting anyone.” He glanced sideways to see Aziraphale pressing his lips together, struggling not to smile. Grinning, Crowley tossed down more enchanted grains. “Go on then.”

“Hmm? Ah, yes. Well, the overall impression is that love is…transformative. Changes the way one thinks and feels at all times. They speak of, oh, the sun shining brighter, foods tasting sweeter, winter blossoming into summer. Metaphors. Others speak of — of attraction, quickened pulse, sudden heat and so on, but that’s a passing thing, part of a — a particular moment of closeness. Surely, no human could maintain such a state for an hour, never mind weeks or years!” Aziraphale offered Crowley the last handful of grain in his cap. “And once that moment passes…”

“Back to the metaphors.” The ducks below were now spotted, striped, every color of the rainbow. One bore pure white wings, beside another with midnight black. Aziraphale chuckled, very softly, which made Crowley feel immensely satisfied. Dusting off his hands, he circled the angel and continued walking.

“Yes,” Aziraphale hurried to catch up, cap twisting in his hands. “I get the sense that the feeling is so obvious, so…universal, they never think to describe it.”

“How inconsiderate.” Crowley thought it over. “So, flash of heat, racing heart, sun gets brighter, then ten pages about the color of their eyes? That about it?”

“I suppose so.” Aziraphale rubbed a finger across his lip. “Not always beauty, though. Some appear drawn by their partner’s clever mind, or acts of kindness. Some praise stories of bravery or great deeds, others fixate on meaningless symbols of wealth. But still, those only tell why one falls in love, not what it feels like.”

“Sounds like a sort of obsession.” Crowley furrowed his brow. “That treatise had a list of…sort of rules of love. Mostly about jealousy, really, don’t think the author thought much of women, but… ‘Every action of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.’”

“I see…so that, together or apart, one cannot help but think always of the other. That certainly aligns with the evidence.” He started to replace his cap, then paused, looking inside. “Anything else of use?”

“‘Love can deny nothing to love.’” Beside him, Aziraphale turned pink and a brilliant smile broke across his face, like the sun after a storm. He pulled from the cap the bright red rosebud Crowley had hidden within.

Crowley watched as Aziraphale slid the flower into his buttonhole, drinking in the way the delighted shiver ran across his shoulders. Then the angel looked up, hitting Crowley with the full force of his smile.

Stunning. Blinding. It stole Crowley’s breath away, wiped every thought from his mind.

One day, that smile would destroy him, and he wouldn’t mind at all.

“So, this creperie — are we close?”

“Ngh. Smh. Unh. Nearly. Another block or two.” The park’s gate stood just ahead, half shut, the bustling street beyond. Crowley quickly stepped ahead, pulling it open for Aziraphale. “You, ah, find the answer you needed?”

“I…think so, yes.” He rested his fingers on the gate — so close to Crowley’s he could feel their warmth — then quickly pulled away, folding his hands behind his back. “I’ve been trying to work out…well…whether I’m in love with you, Crowley.”

“Oh.” What was he supposed to say to that? “Oh.”

“Indeed.” Aziraphale’s eyes darted nervously and he began to pace. “I-I want you to know, I don’t desire you. I’ve never felt that sort of attraction. And I’m not jealous by any means. I’m not even certain who I’m meant to be jealous of. But…” He turned back, tugging his jacket. “I think of you. Constantly. Every action, every experience reminds me of you. I go to a concert, and I can’t concentrate on the music, only whether you would enjoy it. I hear a joke and I imagine how you would laugh, or roll your eyes, and I can’t know a moment’s peace until I’ve shared it with you. And last month…when I was reprimanded…for days afterward I could think of nothing but how I wished you were there. When I finally found the strength to venture out, it was only from my determination to come here.”

“For…crepes?” Crowley offered stupidly.

“No, you silly creature, for you.” He stepped forward, reaching up as if to straighten Crowley’s lapels, but once again his hands dropped. “I hear your voice and no matter how dark my situation — no matter how absurd you look in the current fashion — I just…feel happy again.”

Aziraphale took a deep breath and lifted his eyes — hopeful, fearful, vulnerable — to meet Crowley’s.

“Oh.” Something more was probably needed. “Yeah.”

That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say.

“Well.” Aziraphale’s eyes dropped and he turned, trying to hide his expression. “Yes. I thought you should know.” He ducked his head and hurried through the gate. “Where — where is this creperie? We should try to arrive—”

“Me too.”

Crowley hadn’t meant to say anything. His mind was still ten minutes behind, struggling to catch up, but the pain on Aziraphale’s face hurt him like a blow to the chest.

The two words stopped Aziraphale in his tracks.

“I…I think about you, too.” Crowley stepped halfway through the gate, gripping the bar so tight it began to bend. “When I wake up, or fall asleep and…and away from you, here, I just…I miss you…but you — you idiot, with your crepes and your — your execution and…and then you smile and I just…” Blast! How could Aziraphale be so eloquent? Crowley swallowed and started over. “Look, m’trying to say…don’t think I can deny you anything. And. If that’s love…yeah. Me too.”

All this time, Aziraphale stood perfectly still, his back to Crowley. But now he turned, blue eyes furiously blinking. “That’s…ah…thank you. I know y-you hate being thanked but…” Aziraphale took one step closer, then another, until only inches separated them. “Thank you.”

“Nh.” He could so easily reach across that last bit of distance. Crowley didn’t know what that would accomplish, what he’d even do, but he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything. “Now what?”

“I don’t know.” Aziraphale’s gaze fell. “It…doesn’t change anything, does it? You’re still a demon, and I’m—”

“I don’t care,” Crowley hissed, shocked at the fervor in his own voice. “We don’t need to play by their rules. We could — run off, or—”

“We can’t. Crowley, both our sides would — they’d find us, they’d destroy you.”

“I’m willing to risk it.” He reached for Aziraphale’s hand.

“I’m not.” The angel jerked back, putting more distance between them, eyes wide. “Crowley that’s — that’s not a chance I’m willing to take. I’m sorry, but no.”

“Fine,” Crowley growled, pulling away. “What do you want?”

“I want…” Aziraphale shut his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. “I want a shop in London, where I can surround myself with books and foods and everything I enjoy. I want my superiors to trust me, let me bring good into the world my own way, without sending me all over Creation at a moment’s notice and — and punishing me for a few miracles to make my life easier. I want us to go to plays and gardens and balls together, not for clandestine meetings but because we enjoy them. To be openly in each other’s company, without fear of reprisal. And…I’d like you to visit my shop and bring me flowers or sweets. I’d serve my very best wine and…we’d talk all night about…everything and nothing. And laugh together.” His eyes fluttered open and for the first time Aziraphale looked sure of himself. “I want what we already have. Only I want more of it.”

This time he didn’t move as Crowley reached out. Long fingers carefully adjusted the rosebud, standing it straighter in its buttonhole. “Yeah. I…I’d like that, too.”

“And you don’t want anything…physical?”

Crowley snorted. “M’not a human.” But he wondered if Aziraphale’s cheek was as soft as the rosebud’s petals. “I’d like to touch you. Your hand, your face. Your wings. Hear your voice as I fall asleep. Feel your fingers in my hair. Is that…too much?”

“No.” Aziraphale smiled gently. “That sounds perfect.”

“Maybe…” Crowley fidgeted with his glasses, shuffled his feet, but refused to step away. “If we’re careful…”

“The Arrangement is already dangerous enough. You must understand…”

Crowley closed his eyes. “I do. Nothing changes.” Except there were words now, to the feeling he had when he thought of his angel. And that changed everything. When he looked again, Aziraphale nodded, as if he felt the same.

“Right then.” Crowley circled around Aziraphale, sauntering back to the main road. “Let’s see if these crepes are worth risking the guillotine.”

“My dear fellow,” Aziraphale easily kept pace. “One bite of true Breton crepes will silence your doubts forever.”

“Breton, huh?”

“Oh, yes, far superior to any others.”

“If that’s so,” Crowley smirked, remembering Aziraphale in his cell, “s’a wonder you came to Paris. Particularly in such a…controversial outfit.”

“The city has…certain other attractions.”

Something warm and heavy wrapped across Crowley’s shoulders, invisible to his eyes, though he could feel the individual feathers tickle his neck. Aziraphale strolled beside him, hands clasped behind his back, eyes forward, as if nothing were amiss.

Carefully, trying to look natural, Crowley scratched his shoulder, brushing his knuckles down a long flight feather, softer than any mortal bird’s.

Aziraphale smiled ever so slightly and flexed his wing, holding Crowley a little more tightly. An embrace that no one could see, no one could know about, except them.

“Dunno,” Crowley said. “Still seems pretty risky.”

“Yes. But I’m an incorrigible old fool. Sometimes I can’t help myself.”

“Suppose I can understand,” Crowley said as he extended his own wing, wrapping it around Aziraphale’s waist. The angel’s composure broke as he wiggled, burying himself in invisible feathers. Crowley smiled, heat running through him, a warm spring day after a long cold winter. “After all, we’re not so different, you and I.”

[1] De Amore, Andreas Capellanus, c. 1190

So happy to finally share this!

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ace omens #ineffable husbands #asexual ineffable husbands #ace omens zine #aziraphale #crowley #love confessions #feeding the ducks #aziraphale loves crowley #crowley loves his angel #what even is love #ace fanfiction #qpp #banter #my writing #ao3 link

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writertitan · 4 years ago

Note

have you eve done the fluff alphabet before? They can be kind of long but I'd love to hear your thoughts on Levi!

this is so cute, i’ve never done a fluff alphabet! this is the one i’ve seen go around by @snk-warriors (so cute thank u for sharing)

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

I think Levi is the type of partner who starts up a new hobby with a partner as a way of bonding with them. Like, the two of you just get super into candle-making together lmao. I think he’d want to spend most of his free time with his partner, even if it’s just in comfortable silence. He really appreciates feeling safe with his person and relishes in the mundane.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

I’ll say it before and I’ll say it again. Levi doesn’t really have a physical type. He really pays attention to people’s character first. He would really admire how his partner is constantly trying to be their best self, and admires their strength, and he thinks it’s beautiful that they can see the good in life, because it helps him see the good in life too. He would absolutely love the most random parts of your body, though. Maybe it’s your cheekbones, maybe it’s the shape of your hands. Something that he thinks is so unique to you.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Levi is not a man of many words a lot of the time, but he is a man of action. If his partner is feeling down in any way, he’s there physically to help you through it. Over time, he makes little mental notes of what seems to help and what doesn’t, so that he can continue doing the things that help you and stop doing the things that don’t. If you prefer just being held for a while, no talking, he catches on quickly and offers himself up. If you need to talk, he listens and makes sure you know you’re the only thing in the world he’s paying attention to at that moment. He’ll know how you’ve calmed yourself down in the past, before he was in the picture, and takes up that ritual himself. Did you make yourself some mac and cheese to cheer yourself up in the past? He knows the recipe now, too. Very action-based man.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Levi, especially canon Levi, has trouble envisioning any sort of long-term future for himself. He’s just living his life one day at a time and pushing through. However, with a partner in his life, he indulges himself with little visions of the future. Things like marriage, children, are blurry wishes to him tbh, not out of the question but things that he won’t allow himself to indulge in. They’re kind of a given if you’re serious, and that’s enough to satisfy him. But near-future things are things he often thinks about. He wants to live with his partner, wants to think about how they’ll spend their next anniversary, he often thinks about what you both will be doing together for the holidays. Those futures comfort him immensely.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I think it is actually rather equal with Levi. He has so much baggage of his own, that a partner willing to share the load would make him feel really safe. But, I think he’d subconsciously be more of the dominant figure. He dedicates himself to his loved ones, and would do anything for them, and his partner would feel that tenfold.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Levi definitely is an, “I’m too old for this shit” type of guy when it comes to fights with his partner lmfao. He’s not about the dramatics of fighting. I don’t think he’d really ever yell at his partner or vice versa. The fights would have a snarky energy - I can see him snapping at his partner sometimes, or making an infamous sarcastic remark when he’s irritated - but Levi would honestly rather just discuss the problem bluntly and get it out of the way. But my god, the man wouldn’t back down until it was all cleared up.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

SO GRATEFUL. I think Levi would be so thankful to have his partner in his life. He knows he’s a tough nut to crack, so having someone finally get through to him is scary but wonderful. He sees everything you do for him and I think he’d honestly be so emotional about even the littlest things, because he’s so used to taking care of everyone else. It’s almost uncomfortable for him to know that someone is unconditionally loving him, but he’s grateful he has that love. Never takes it for granted.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Per the above, Levi is a tough nut to crack, and I think it would take a really, really long time to fully open him up. Like, a really long time. Honestly, he may not ever completely open up about his past because it can be so dark, but that doesn’t mean that he would actively keep secrets from you. If anything, his partner would know him the best out of everyone. While he may keep some stuff about his past in the dark, everything else is no secret. He’ll tell you about his day, about what’s going on with his friends, all that good stuff.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Levi with a partner would be a little softer, and a little more optimistic. I also think a big thing that Levi would change would be his ability to compromise (because I think it’s hard for him to compromise). He’d definitely be a lot happier and kinder to himself with a partner around. And, in private, he’d allow himself to be more vulnerable and actually show his emotions. Levi is a pretty level-headed person as well, and I think he would pass that trait on to his partner.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Levi is not a jealous person, but he’s very protective of his partner!! This is the hill I die on!!! He is always looking out for you, so if someone does hit on you, he watches to see how you react. If it’s funny to you, it’s funny to him, but if it’s creepy to you, then he’s already cracking his knuckles.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

I don’t want to roast this lovely man but I don’t think he’d be a great kisser at first LMAO. He’s so not used to being loved. Levi is touch-starved, confirmed on Tanny’s blog. I think the first kiss is okay at best, definitely awkward, and Levi definitely doesn’t really know what to do. He’s a quick learner, though. He’s a good kisser in no time, after learning how you like to be kissed, and after finally getting him to believe it’s okay to be affectionate.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I picture it as word vomit (Levi’s version of word vomit tho, which is like, a couple of sentences). He’d confess his feelings for you once he just can’t physically keep the words in anymore. He’d definitely fight against it for a while but then the word vomit happens. I think, specifically, his first “I love you” would be quite intimate and very quiet, just a whisper in your ear when he finally realizes it. Realizing he loves you would be much easier for him than realizing he has feelings for you, so he wouldn’t even hesitate with saying it first, the sweet boi.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I don’t think Levi had ever considered marriage before meeting you. But after meeting you, that would likely change if you wanted to get married. He’d want to spend his life with his partner, and whether that means marriage or not, it doesn’t quite matter to him. Just the promise of being together is good enough for him. If the two of you do decide to get married, it’s no frills. Tbh, there’s no elaborate proposal from Levi, but he makes sure that he formally asks you and that it’s special to the two of you. Maybe he’d ask you at the place you first met/kissed/etc. The marriage itself would be just as lovely and peaceful as the relationship with him beforehand. Not much changes, except both you and Levi acknowledge there’s an added commitment as spouses. I think both of you would really cherish your new titles as spouses.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Levi doesn’t strike me as the type to give their S/O nicknames like babe, baby, etc. but I’m sure he’d have a specific nickname that only he uses for you. Other than that, just calling his partner by their name is enough.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Levi’s quite the stoic man, so while he presents that way to the rest of the world, his loved ones can actually see the difference between an “in love” Levi vs. a “not in love” Levi. It’s not that it’s a huge difference, he’s just softer somehow, and there’s more peace within his eyes, and he even smiles more. Levi’s not a huge fan of PDA, so he’s not prone to showing a lot of affection in front of others. In private, it’s a different story. Once he gets comfortable with affection, he’s more receptive and more giving. In front of others, he’s more comfortable holding hands or putting his hand on your back. He may not be a fan of PDA, but his eyes are on you frequently, and anyone who catches him looking at you can see how much he loves his partner.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Like I said above, not a fan of PDA. Doesn’t mean Levi’s secretive about his relationship at all. He’s proud to have his partner and proud to talk about his partner when the topic comes up. He’d be quite shy/uncomfortable kissing in front of others. Maybe not a fan of kisses on the lips, but he’d be more okay with forehead kisses, cheek kisses, etc.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Levi is so protective over his partner don’t @ me, and it just also means he’s naturally more attentive. He’d notice if your mood changes, he’d notice if something was “off” with you, he’d definitely remember you mentioning wanting something in passing and then gift it for your birthday/Christmas/a random Tuesday like MONTHS later. Memory of an elephant and more tuned into emotions than people give him credit for.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Again, not overtly romantic. Levi is a straightforward person, very practical, and very simple. But he’d give his partner the moon if he could. He believes in making things special, though, so I think he would actually put some thought/creativity in romantic actions rather than going for something cliché.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Oh absolutely. Levi is so supportive of his S/O and is happy to help with achieving any goal. He truly believes you can do whatever you put your mind to. You could lean on Levi for help with anything. He’s not one to make fun of your dreams. He’d just give his best advice and help you get a move on.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Levi definitely prefers routine. He’s a simple man with simple pleasures, and his whole life has been quite unpredictable, so he really loves the simple things in your relationship. Loves your morning routine, your night routine, loves weekly date nights. Of course, he’d enjoy trying new things with his partner, but he legitimately can’t get enough of what other might see as “mundane” parts of a relationship, because he thought he’d never get to experience that.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Levi knows his S/O like the back of his hand. He wants to know everything about them but is also respectful if it takes time for you to open up. He can be empathetic, but it takes time for him to get there tbh. He would be uncomfortable with blatant emotional conversations at first, just give him time. He just wants you to be comfortable with him at the end of the day and vice versa.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Levi’s S/O is so goddamn lucky tbh. He would never, ever take his partner for granted. He’s slow to get the hang of a serious relationship, that’s true, but he’s always trying his hardest to make the relationship be as good as it is. The best part is that Levi doesn’t lose himself in a relationship, however. He values his partner and prioritizes them, but you’d never catch yourself in a codependent relationship with this man. He wants you to be your own person and he wants that for himself, too. You’re one of his most important relationships, if not the most important one, but he understands that you are your own person and he is his own person.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Levi wears a ring with your initials carved on the inside.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

In public, again, not the most blatantly affectionate. In private, he’s more into it. He loves having his arms around you or vice versa. He just likes having the warmth of his partner there, doesn’t need to be something very sexual or very physical.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Levi would be more irritable if he’s without his S/O for some time imo. Have a week long trip you have to go on? He misses you more and more with each passing day, and he gets bitchier with each passing day. He does take it out on everyone else (poor fellas). If he’s not pissy, he’s otherwise quiet and just focuses on his own stuff until he sees you again.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Levi is extremely protective of his S/O and would literally put his life on the line for them. He’s kind of dramatic in that way, but he would rather suffer in your place any day. He would do anything for his partner.

#levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi headcanons #captain levi #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #aot #snk #levi hc #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman hcs #aot hcs #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #snk hcs #sweet cherub anon

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nastybuckybarnes · 4 years ago

Text

Of Kings and Beasts - Six

Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve

Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrust to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Near-Death, Smut (Oral, F receiving),

Word Count: 4K

A/n: I think that this series has a vibe that is very blue and grey. Like, if I could associate the feeling with a colour it would be like a dark blue and light grey. Idk it’s just how I feel. I also have a playlist that I might drop for this series cause it’s gotten me writing soooo much. Anyway, I loved writing this part and I hope you guys like it!!

THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

~*~

Your head tilts back, a melodic laugh falling from your pretty lips, and Steve smiles warmly down at you.

James watches from the library window as his husband drapes his cloak over your shoulders, keeping you warm as the two of you walk through the falling snow in the gardens.

“You called for me, your Majesty?” James turns to the voice, nodding and waving the doctor over.

“What I am about to tell you remains between us and us alone, do you understand?” The doctor nods slowly, confused beyond his wits.

“I have been experiencing thoughts that are not my own. I fear my mind... it is not mine. I know not how nor why, but I... I feel as if someone has taken hold of my mind and my body.” The doctor is silent, his eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline.

“Can you elaborate a bit, your Majesty? I... I don’t think I’m understanding.” James nods, sighing heavily.

“I... I have blank spaces in my memory. I awake in places where I have not gone and I have bruises and marks that I do not remember acquiring. It is as if I am not in control of my own body at times.” Banner ponders this for a moment before nodding.

“If you follow me, I’d like to do a few inspections to see if there is anything on the surface that could be of any use in figuring out what exactly is happening to you.”

The King follows the Doctor to his office, sitting down upon the operation table.

The Doctor’s cold fingers probe along the King’s hairline, feeling for any unusual bumps or scratches.

Just as he’s about to give up, he feels a ridge along the base of the King’s skull.

“Lean forward, Your Majesty.” He complies, leaning forward and dropping his head to give the Doctor a better view of the spot in question.

“An incision has been made here. And not by me. It has been stitched expertly. Were I not so trained I would have missed it. Your concerns are very valid, your Majesty. Should I call in King Steven and tell him the news?” James shakes his head immediately.

“If this has been done without even my noticing, it has been done by someone close and near. We cannot risk them finding out. Steve cannot know, and neither can (Y/n).” The very mention of your name has his blood boiling for some reason.

“Your Majesty... may I ask... what thoughts are you having that have been so concerning?” The King sighs, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I fear that whoever has done this to me has done it with the intention of ruining my marriage and destroying my kingdom right from the inside. With the very thought of my husband or my wife, I am filled with anger unlike anything I’ve ever felt. It fades as days pass, and then it will be brought back out of the blue.” The Doctor purses his lips, trying to piece things together.

“May I take a few tests? I would like to analyze some samples. Perhaps they can bring us closer to figuring out what has happened.” The King nods, laying down and allowing the doctor to do whatever procedures he’d like.

“Must you go?” You ask sadly, looking down at where your hand is linked with Steve’s.

“Unfortunately I must. I would much rather spend time with you, however, the council has urgent matters that must be discussed. I will join you for dinner, on that I promise.” He leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek.

“Do you think James will join us tonight?” You ask softly. Although he hasn’t been the kindest to you, you were enjoying the time you spent with him and are missing his presence.

You have hardly seen him since the day he and Steve came to your chambers.

“I cannot guarantee it. I hope he will, but I do not think we will be so lucky.” You nod sadly, sighing when he lets go of your hand.

He cups your cheeks in both of his warm hands, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips. Your heart races in your chest and you hold onto his wrists, leaning up into the gentle touch of his lips against your own.

Your eyes stay closed as he pulls away and he chuckles softly, pecking your lips once more before stepping backwards.

“I will come to find you as soon as I can, my love.” With that, he takes his leave. A smile spreads on your face and you sigh like a young maiden in love.

The thought takes you by surprise and you realize that you could very much be falling in love with Steve. He’s kind and gentle with you, and he’s taken the time to get to know you. He’s a man that you would willingly marry.

You’re getting ready to head back inside when you’re intercepted by a knight.

“Your Majesty.” He bows deeply then stands back up, a smile on his face.

“Do you require something?” You ask. He nods, offering you his arm.

“I have been ordered by King James to escort you to the stables. He wishes to go riding with you.” Your heart jumps in your chest, excitement filling you at the thought of getting to spend time with your other husband.

The knight is swift in his walk and you nearly have to jog to keep up.

You find it slightly strange that James would want to go riding when the snow is starting to fall harder, but you pay it no mind.

The knight helps you up onto your horse when you get to the stables, a smile on his face.

“The King wishes to meet you out past the stream. It is ten minutes west. He is eager to see you.” You nod, gathering the reins in your hands and thanking the knight as your horse leads you through the growing snow.

Steve’s cloak does little to keep you warm as the wind blows hard against you. Even through the layers of your dress and your coat, the coldness seeping through and chilling you straight to your core.

You’re not sure how many minutes go by, but the snow is thickening quickly, and before long you can hardly see in front of yourself.

“James!” You shout, trying desperately to find the King.

Your horse slows, not liking the storm. She turns you in a circle then huffs out a breath through her nose.

You’re about ready to head back when she suddenly raises up onto her hind legs, sending you falling to the snow beneath you.

You yelp out in pain as you break your fall with your arm, pain shooting up.

The wind howls in your ears as you push yourself to your knees, fear grabbing your heart and making it race as you struggle to see past your nose.

Snow gathers in thick clumps on your eyelashes, weighing them down and adding to the struggle.

“Aryo!” You call out for your horse, pushing yourself to your feet and wrapping your arms around yourself to try and preserve what little heat you have left.

It doesn’t take long for you to realize you’re alone, your horse long gone to find shelter in the storm. You don’t blame her. You would have abandoned yourself too.

Teeth chattering, you try and find any trace of a path to follow back to the Palace as the storm rages on around you.

“Is that the Queen’s horse?” Nat asks, looking out the window at the blizzard.

James is on his feet in an instant, looking out the window then at the redhead.

“Where is she?”

She shakes her head, “Steve dismissed me. But he’s in a meeting now. I would have thought she’d come back but I haven’t seen her since.”

Before she’s finished speaking, James is sprinting down the stairs.

He pays no mind to the snow, feet pulling him to the stables as the stable boy tries to calm down your mare.

“Where is the Queen?” He asks desperately, shouting over the wind. The stable boy shakes his head.

“I was dismissed by a member of the guard. He had the queen with him and the last I saw she was riding west.”

The colour drains from the King’s face as he looks towards the dark clouds rolling in.

“Get me my horse. Now!” The boy turns and runs to get the King his horse, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste.

“You’re going out there?!” He turns around to face Natalia, nodding. “She’s out there and she may be in danger. I know Steve would not entrust anyone but Sam or you to escort her anywhere.” His conversation with Doctor Banner earlier rings in his mind and he feels fear claw its way up his throat.

“Have a warm bath prepped. Bring all the furs from the entire Palace to her chambers and have the fire ready. And find Steve as soon as you can.” The stable boy brings over James’ horse and the King is mounted upon his stallion and taking off into the storm.

You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You can hardly feel your body. Everything is so heavy and you want to take a break, rest your eyes for a moment to regain your strength.

You stopped shivering a while ago.

Trudging through the knee-high snow, you blow warm air onto your frozen hands, trying desperately to warm something up. Shivering was so much better than this.

Something catches on your shoe and you fall face-forward into the snow with a yelp.

Instead of standing up, you roll onto your back, eyes half-open as snowflakes kiss your face.

Just a moment. That’s all you need. A moment to rest.

Your eyelids flutter closed and warmth settles into your limbs.

In the distance, you swear you hear someone calling your name, and you can’t help but smile. In this vast expanse of nothing but white... he cares for you.

Even if he’s only a figment of your imagination, he cares.

You’re jolted back to reality by the sound of your name being bellowed close by. Eyes heavy with snow, you slowly look around, neck stiff and frozen.

James jumps down from his horse, your figure barely visible through the snow.

“(Y/n)!” He sprints to you, foot slipping on a patch of ice and nearly pulling him to the ground.

His arms are cradling your frame as soon as he’s close enough, one hand pushing the snow out of your face and pressing his fingers to your neck.

“Oh thank the gods,” he whispers, your pulse like a drum grounding him.

He hauls you up into his arms and climbs onto his horse, the stallion taking off through the snow.

“Stay with me, (Y/n), please,” He murmurs, warm lips pressing against your frozen forehead.

Your eyes fall closed again and he has to take deep breaths to calm his racing heart.

Only when the Palace comes into view does he allow himself to feel any form of hope.

He rides right up to the front doors then slides off his horse, your body held securely in his arms. Guards are already waiting, one taking care of his horse while the others lock the Palace doors and clear a path for the King.

He swears he’s never moved this fast in his life.

The door to your chambers is open and as soon as he’s inside, Natalia is pulling you from his grip and hauling you right in front of the fire.

He kicks his shoes off and shrugs out of his coat.

“Get her out of her clothes,” he orders, pulling off his trousers and stripping until he’s nearly naked.

Nat does as ordered, confused until he lies down next to you, pressing your freezing body against his and pulling the furs overtop of the two of you.

The fire burns hot against his face but it’s doing its job.

Soon enough he can feel you breathing heavier against his chest.

"Where is Steve?” The brunet demands, looking over at Nat. She shakes her head. “With the council still. I tried getting him but they would not allow me entrance.” James sighs, tucking your head between his shoulder and his neck and smoothing his flesh hand over your back, hoping the friction will warm you up faster.

Nat takes her leave, hoping to find Steve, and James scoots the two of you closer to the fire.

When you let out a sharp breath then start violently shaking in his arms he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

You’re burning. Tiny needles are prickling your skin all over and it won’t stop. There’s a clattering noise that is absolutely annoying you and you recoil away from the heat.

It’s only when your face gets smushed further against a hot chest that you realize the chattering is your teeth.

“You’re okay,” a deep voice whispers, lips pressed against your frozen hair.

“I-It hurts,” you croak, throat sore and aching.

“I know, dove. I know.” His nose is buried in your hair, warm tears dripping from his eyes as he hugs you close to his chest.

The pain slowly fades and you sigh gratefully, bringing your hands up to press your frozen fingers against his warm torso.

The muscles in his abdomen clench at the contact and he lets out a sharp breath.

“You’re so cold,” he whispers, bringing a leg over yours to drape you in more of his body heat.

Your toes press against his other thigh and he groans.

“S-sorry,” you manage to get the word out without biting your tongue.

“Shh. It’s alright. Just warm up. You’re alright.” You nod, cold lips brushing against his chest. You press the tip of your nose against his skin and the contact nearly burns.

He presses kiss after kiss to the top of your head, thankful his body is always warm.

You gradually stop shivering but he doesn’t let you go, far too terrified that this is the last time he’ll get to hold you.

It’s only when you pull back to look at him that his arms loosen.

You notice his red eyes and instantly frown.

“What’s wrong?” Your voice is hoarse and he makes a note to get Wanda to bring you some tea.

“I...” He shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and kissing your forehead.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, hot tears dripping down onto the furs beneath the two of you.

“For what?” You’re genuinely confused.

“Everything.”

“James, look at me.” He does so, reluctant but desperate to see you. Your lashes are wet and you can’t tell if it’s from the snow or your own tears.

“I’m alright. Without you, I wouldn’t be here. You saved my life.” He shakes his head, sniffling and squeezing you tighter to his chest.

“Why were you out there by yourself?” His voice is weak and muffled but the question confuses you.

“I was told that you wanted to meet me out there. A knight escorted me and delivered me the message. I was confused because it was snowing but I was eager to spend time with you.” He shakes his head, dread settling in his gut as he realizes that someone is indeed trying to sabotage his marriage.

“Did the knight give you his name?” You shake your head, fingers tracing patterns on his chest.

“I never told anyone anything. I was with Doctor Banner for a better portion of the day.” Your brows furrow and you pull back to look at him.

“If it was not you who sent for me... why would...” You trail off, eyes widening.

“He meant for me to die out there, didn’t he?” James swallows hard then nods, sighing heavily.

“That’s how it would seem. I do not know if those were his intentions and we will need to question him. But that all comes second.”

You snuggle against his chest further, his warmth and scent engulfing you and making you feel beyond safe.

“James?” You ask softly, pulling back again to look at him when he doesn’t answer.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” The heartbreak in your voice makes him want to die. He presses his forehead against yours and his lips quiver.

“I am terrified of being near you because all I have ever done is bring you pain. I do not wish to do that. Not ever again.” You bring one hand up and cup his face, wiping a tear off of his cheek.

“The only way you will bring me pain is by pushing me away. I miss you.” Your eyes flash down to his lips then back up to his eyes.

“With every day that goes by and I do not see you... I am saddened. We did not start our marriage well, but we can fix it. Please, James, don’t push me away anymore.” Your pleading breaks his heart and he nods, sniffling again.

“If I ask something of you... will you do it?” You ask softly. He nods without hesitation.

“Anything.”

You wait a beat, your heart thumping hard in your chest.

“Kiss me.” His eyes flash open and he pulls back to look at you. When the edges of your lips curve up he nods again, leaning down slowly.

His warm lips meet yours in a kiss that is filled with unspoken words and forbidden feelings. Tears cascade down his face and he leans further into the kiss, pushing himself up onto his metal forearm and rolling slightly until you’re on your back and he’s on his side. His flesh hand comes up to rest gently on the side of your neck, the thumping of your pulse beneath his fingers enough to have him relaxing.

Your hands come up instinctively to his hair, fingers tugging through the damp strands as you share your first real kiss with your husband.

His tears drip onto your face and you feel your heart break for him. You pull him closer, leg lifting and hitching around his waist to bring him flush against your body.

It’s like he’s never touched you before.

The feeling of your breasts pressing against his bare chest combined with the way you’re pulling him tight against you is enough to have him stirring in his britches.

He pulls away, shaking his head.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs. You sigh, fingers threading through his glorious locks. “You won’t. I just want to feel you. Have you close to me. Please.”

The look on your face has his resolve crumbling and, as if smelling your success, you pull him down, lips crashing against his.

“Will you let me try something? To make you feel good?” He asks breathlessly against your mouth. You’re not sure if anything can feel better than this but you’re more than willing to try.

He trails kisses down your body, taking a moment to pepper them over the soft skin of your breasts. His tongue flicks over your right nipple for a moment before retreating back into his mouth and allowing him to continue kissing down down down.

When his head is between your legs you push onto your elbows, nervous about having him somewhere so intimate.

“Relax. It won’t hurt, I promise.” You take a deep breath and nod, relaxing slightly as he presses gentle kisses to the insides of your thighs.

He pulls your legs over his shoulders and traces his tongue over your slit.

You jolt at the contact and he breathes a chuckle before diving in, his tongue working on the little bundle of nerves that makes your toes curl.

“J-James!” You cry, hand instinctively coming to his hair. He loops his arms under your legs, warm hand splayed on your stomach while his cold hand comes to your mound, middle finger slipping inside of you.

He’s gentle, thrusting slowly while his mouth focuses on your clit. Your legs clench around his head as the pleasure builds, a coil tightening in your belly.

A second finger slips inside of you with surprising ease, but you don’t dwell on that for long. His metal digits find the spot inside of you that makes you see stars and, upon hearing the guttural groan of pleasure you make, focus on hitting that spot with every thrust.

Your back arches and your fingers pull his hair so hard that it borders on pain, but one glance at the bliss on your face and the pain is forgotten.

His tongue works your clit while his fingers fuck faster, harder until you’re crying out, legs trembling and face scrunched up in pleasure. Your cunt clenches around his fingers and your slick gushes out around them.

He slowly pulls his fingers from you, cleaning up the mess between your legs with his tongue. The gentle kitten-licks just enough to prolong your climax.

When he finally pulls away and looks at you, you’re already watching him, your chest heaving and sweat glistening on your forehead.

“I suppose we warmed you up, didn’t we?” He asks playfully, grinning when you laugh breathlessly.

He adjusts himself in his pants then lays down with you once again, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“What about you?” You ask shyly, glancing down to the tent in his underwear.

“I can handle it, dove. You need your rest.” You cuddle up against him on the makeshift bed, the crackling of the fire and the feeling of his fingers tracing up and down your spine lulling you into a deep sleep.

He holds you in his arms, mind racing to who might want you out of the kingdom and why, and then to Steve. Steve who’s been gone for a suspiciously long time. Steve who’s supposed to be in a meeting with the council conveniently at the time of you disappearing.

When the blond in question is finally free from the council, Natalia is there to tell him what happened.

He’s bursting into your chambers moments later, his heart in his throat until he sees you asleep with your head on James’ chest, the brunet holding you close to his body beside the smouldering embers of what must’ve been a roaring fire.

A small smile spreads over his face and he closes the door, taking off his shoes and stripping down to his underwear.

He climbs onto the thick cushion of furs, shimmying beneath the blankets draped over your frame and placing his arm over your waist, hand resting against his husband’s stomach.

James reaches down and squeezes Steve’s hand gently, meeting the blond’s eyes over your head.

“What happened?” He asks softly, not wanting to wake you up.

“She was set up,” James replies, his eyes full of so many emotions.

“By who?” James shakes his head, sighing heavily.

“We have much to discuss, but it can wait until morning.” Steve nods in agreement, pressing his body against yours.

You sigh, sandwiched between their warmth and lost in a deep sleep.

Steve is pressed against your back and James against your front, the two holding onto each other’s arms over your waist.

And at that moment everything is as it should be. As it should have been in the first place.

But James knows that this may be only temporary unless they can find the traitor responsible for nearly killing you.

He hopes to the Gods that they find whoever it is soon because now that he has you in his arms, he never wants to let you go.

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