#but i’m gettin’ the ball rollin’ again

[okey-fucking-dokey]

"...Not really. Only met 'im once."

Okay. That was…a little lacking in the detail department. But it was something. Whoever Hank MacLean was to Cooper, had clearly left an impression. In some way or other it was important enough to remember 200 years later. 

The sudden shift in her companion’s stance should have been enough to stir a fresh wave of readiness. After all, it wasn’t like the danger of co-exiting together had entirely removed itself from Lucy’s muscle memory. But after everything, Lucy simply found herself glancing towards the sound of movement, still flat as a board from the rock-solid ground. The glimpse she caught of Cooper’s face was fleeting, not enough to get a good read on how real the threat of his irritation was before Dogmeat trotted over with her tongue lolling from the side of her mouth to block the view. 

"Why, you fixin' to tally up a list of all the bad shit Daddy Dearest got up to in the last 200 years?"

An instinctive frown muddied Lucy’s face, constructed from little more than the knee-jerk instinct to defend the man she had adored and trusted up to a mere handful of hours ago. The wet tongue rasping across her cheek definitely wasn’t helping. But that tension didn’t linger across Lucy’s features, and as Dogmeat padded around the back of her head (thoughtfully standing on the errant strands of hair to lick the other half of her face), Lucy felt her expression level into something neutral.  

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to know what I’m up against.” She conceded, absently wondering if this was what rock bottom felt like. 

“...I risked everything getting out here to help him.” Lucy murmured, feeling stupid for almost every choice she’d made over the past week. 

She stopped being your mother when she left home. 

The words rang through her head in a voice too familiar- too precious - to carry such a message. 

“...And he would kill me for that.” Just like the ghoul tied to the chair- loved on the condition of playing a very specific part in a story that had been written decades ago. It still didn’t feel real. 

"...In case you haven't figured it by now, it was Vault Tec that dropped those first bombs to get the big ol' apocalypse ball rollin'. Their tactics for gettin' rid of competition ain't changed much in 200 years."

That little detail hadn’t been in all of the history books. 

…Was that what Moldaver had been referring to, when she’d talked about Shady Sands? Ignoring the complaints of her muscles, Lucy pulled herself upright again, staving off another tongue lashing from Dogmeat with a clumsy flail of one arm. 

The look on Hank’s face at the sight of Cooper had been enough to make him run. After just one meeting, how could that be? 

“What kind of competition are you?”

"I don't even know your name." ((@okey-fucking-dokey))

They'd travelled in silence through the newly illuminated ruins of Los Angeles, until the lights of the dead city were at their backs. It was uncanny, seeing such widespread power restored; from a distance, in the dark, it almost looked like it had 200 years ago.

No doubt it would serve as a beacon for every curious and hungry critter within a 10 mile radius. Out here, in the cover of the dark scrubland, was a safer place to make camp for the night. Not that he was expecting to get much in the way of sleep tonight, with everything that he'd discovered today.

Apparently the vaultie was having similar struggles, because mere minutes after he'd brusquely announced that he'd take first watch, she spoke up.

"I don't even know your name."

Well, the quiet had been nice while it lasted.

The Ghoul didn't so much as turn his head in her direction. He was still looking out at the distant glow of the city's skyline. Dogmeat was curled up beside him, as she'd taken to doing whenever he stopped to make camp; the weight of her head resting on his leg was warm and companionable, and he absolutely would not have been idly petting her if it had been light enough for the vaultie to see.

...There really wasn't much point in hiding the information now. Not because they were travelling together and he already knew her name - the Wasteland didn't give a flying shit about matters of fairness. But the bastard they were going after knew he was now, since he'd let that particularly ugly cat out of the bag, and it was inevitably gonna come up again when they cornered him or any of his other piece of shit Pre-War cronies.

It still felt weird to utter it aloud, after all this time, though.

"...Cooper."

The thick Texan drawl that had become such second nature to him was more muted now, as he grudgingly, quietly disclosed this long-buried piece of himself into the night air.

"There, now we're acquainted all proper. Go the fuck to sleep."

@okey-fucking-dokey

[obaby-me]

hi again! can i ask a scenario where the mc is not a virgin and they meet her "first" man? (like, ex friend with benefits?)

This is going to be less about the loss of your virginity and more of a focus of your previous lover. That you have had sex before them means little to the boys. It is with whom they focus on.

Lucifer

When Lucifer had been told that he would need to run an errand in the human, in your old hometown, he hadn’t imagined taking you for a visit to be as stressful as it was.

Initially, it had been lovely, strolling through the streets as you lead him around and introduced him to the various streets and stores and shared with him your memories of each with family and with friends.

One friend in particular seemed to jump into every memory. To say he was a little jealous that this friend had more memories with you than he did would be an understatement. But Lucifer had barely known you a year, it was to be expected, so he swallowed it down in to deepest pit of him. He wanted to just enjoy his time with you and not constantly wonder.

And then you met up and introduced Lucifer to said friend, and Lucifer’s felt that tense ball in his gut rise into his chest.

They were a little more familiar with you than he expected any friend to be. Arms slung around your shoulders and waist and hugs that lingered a little long. You two spoke freely with one another, catching up on old times and laughing at inside jokes that were a little more flirtatious in nature than he was comfortable with.

But what got him to snap was the cavalier whisper that was far too loud to be subtle from your friend, “how you been sleeping out there on your own? You been missing me?”

The way you looked away with a furrowed brow, and wrapped your arms tightly around you spoke volumes of how uncomfortable you were on the subject, but it seems your friend took it to be a sign that you were just playing shy. A hand that attempted to clasp yours was quickly ripped away by the Avatar of Pride, with a glare so terrifying, it felt like an army was parading over your friend’s grave.

“W-well, you know you can always give me a call if you ever do, just like old times.” Your friend gave you a wink, and exited quickly, leaving the two of you in an awkward sort of silence.

“An ex?” Lucifer coughed, clearing the tenseness in the air.

“Of a sort. We were never official. Just a call when you’re looking for a good time kind of friend,” you explained.

Lucifer gives a small noise acknowledging he’d heard you but his head is another world as he considers your interactions with your friend. He’s uneasy.

It’s not that you had a friend with benefits situation previously that he’s concerned about. Asmo has a novel’s worth. But is it still a thing, even now?

A question sits on his tongue that he refuses to ask. Instead he offers that you take him to the next destination to show him around the town.

“I don’t call for that anymore,” you say in assurance as you slip your hand into his. “I-if that matters to you.”

Lucifer smiles softly. He’d never admit that it does, but he’s thankful you know him enough to answer his thoughts for him.

Mammon

“A high school reunion is not so dangerous you need to be this on guard,” you laugh placing a hand on Mammon’s arm. Maybe he was overplaying his role a little, he thought to himself. But embarrassed to be called out on it he gives his usual excuse, “I’m your first man, aren’t I? I gotta keep ya safe.”

You shush him between giggles. “You know how that sounds!” He grins at you in return.

He knows how it sounds. He knows the impression it gives to others—and he likes it. Like he’s special, and important to you—your number one.

“You’re the first? That what you’ve been told? That’s a laugh. I’ll have you know I was the first.” A voice sounds from behind him.

“What?” Mammon shouts, louder than intended, whipping his head around in surprise at the interrupting eavesdropper. “And who the hell are you?”

“Just an old friend,” grins a vaguely familiar face. The way the word friend is pronounced clearly implies something else. It makes Mammon’s stomach churn.

It takes him a moment of scrutinizing and attempting to match the face to a name. While the name escapes him, Mammon recognizes the smug mug from older photos you shared with him the night before—reminiscing on old friends, teachers, clubs and dances during your preparation for your reunion.

This was a frequent offender, present in damn near every photo—one of the very reasons Mammon even came in the first place.

“It’s been awhile. This your boyfriend?”

“Y-yeah, actually!” Mammon quickly announces, looping an arm into yours and puffing himself up a little. He was laughed at, even by you, but you didn’t deny him. Actually, were you cuddling in closer?

“Too bad. We haven’t talked in awhile, but the arrangement’s always still open on my end for you. I’m always just a text away, yeah?” There was a flirtatious wink to which you rolled your eyes in response. But your face flushes in a way that catches Mammon’s attention. He couldn’t decide if you were bashful or angry.

You open your mouth to end the subject—hell, this conversation, but Mammon interjects, curious.

“What arrangement?”

“Best friends with the best benefits kind of arrangement.” Laughs your old friend, wiggling eyebrows up and down into the air to really drive the point home.

“W-what—“ Mammon stutters, the news catching him off guard.

“Well, we’re not best friends anymore, and there are no more benefits available,” you say flatly.

“Reunions are for reconnecting. I’m just offering—“

“You can keep your offer to yourself.” You huff, taking a sip of your drink. The way your arm tightens around Mammon’s tells him it was time to leave.

“Don’t be like that. Are you still mad about—”

“Yeah, actually, I am.” Your disgust quite clear in your tone.

Saving you the trouble of having to argue your way out of the conversation, Mammon drags you to the exit for some fresh air.

It takes you some time to let the steam out of your system, but when you finally have, Mammon tentatively tries to broach the subject, his curiosity killing him.

Unfortunately, subtlety is not his strongest suite.

“So, your friend back there, was uh,“ he starts.

“Yeah, my first. Technically.” You tell him with a shameful groan. “Turned a good friend into a complete shithead though.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” Mammon says with distaste.

Laughing aloud and dropping your head against him, you hum. “You know you’re my first man in all the categories that actually count, right?”

“R-right. Of course I know that. I’m the GREAT Mammon. I’m obviously number one to you in lots of other ways!”

“That’s right,” you assure him, placing a kiss on his cheek. “Number one right here,” you whisper, pulling one of his hands to your chest over your heart.

Leviathan

“Hey! Wasn’t that account last logged into like years ago?” Levi asks, pointing to a name on your friends list you hadn’t seen online in ages.

You grimace at the name. You had forgotten to remove them given that you hadn’t played this particular game in awhile. Just as you are about to delete the name a message appears.

heyyy. been awhile

“Whose that?” Levi asks curiously. “Do they wanna hop in with us?”

“I don’t really want to ask,” you say, a look of distaste flashing across your features, as another message dings.

how you been

“They bad at the game or something?” Levi asks with amusement.

“Actually plays quite well,” you admit. “I just think it would be awkward if we were to play together again.”

i been missing u

do u wanna hang

?

“Oh, are they uh, like... an ex, or something?” Asks Levi with wide eyes as the messages appear on the screen.

“Or something,” you say shyly to a curious looking Levi. “We were... we weren’t official. We were just friends, but like, friends that had sex every once in awhile.”

“O-oh!” Levi shifts uncomfortably in his seat, his face heating red. Partially due to the subject matter, partially at a irritation born from jealousy.

“We used to be pretty close. We were each other’s firsts. But pretty soon, every ‘heyyy’ turned into ‘u wanna hang’ and then ‘u feelin’ like a fuk?’” Your irritation is evident in your voice.

As predicted, the very next message you receive is,

or maybe smth else?? ;)

“We weren’t really friends by the end of it. So I just stopped responding. Every once in awhile I get another heyyy.” You sigh, rolling your eyes at the message that proved your point.

“Just remove them from your friends list!” Levi hisses, glaring at the message filled screen.

“I was going to!” You assure him. Proof quickly following as you selected the option to remove from friends list.

Levi exhales a sigh of relief, to which you giggle. Hoping to console him, you offer a quick kiss on his cheek. But for Levi, it’s not enough. He pulls you into him for just a little bit of something else.

Satan

With a bag full of books swinging in one hand, and yours clasped tight in the other, Satan doesn’t think there’s anything in all the realms that could possible put a damper on his mood today.

But a stop for a small social event proves him wrong.

An old friend had given you a call to meet up while you were back in your hometown, and you had agreed—after all, it had been a couple of years since you two had last seen each other.

Knocking on the apartment door, the Satan shifts uncomfortably in place.

“Don’t worry so much,” you reassure him with a smile. “You always make a wonderful first impression.”

But Satan is uncertain. This is your friend of the human realm. The Devildom, he relates far easier to, but here he is very foreign and he worries he might miss a custom or two. Do you feel this way in the Devildom?

The door opens to a rather excitable human, eager to see you, and throwing arms around you in a display of affection.

“It’s so lovely to see you again!”

“I have missed you!” You respond in kind.

Your friend shifts their gaze to Satan and he can see their face fall a little. Has he already done something wrong?

“Oh, I didn’t think you were bringing a friend along.”

“This is Satan.”

“That’s an interesting name.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Satan says quickly introducing himself with a handshake.

“Likewise.” Though Satan knows already that isn’t true for your friend who seems disappointed at his presence.

The rest of the visit isn’t unusual, but there seems to be quite emphasis on the relationship between you and Satan.

“So, this is your boyfriend?”

“Yes! We’ve been together a few months now.”

“Real serious, are you?”

“Yes,” Satan responds with a nod.

“I see,” your friend nods solemnly.

By the time the visit has completed, Satan knows he’s not well liked, but doesn’t understand why. You seemed to have picked up on it though.

“I’m so sorry about that.”

“Sorry about what?”

“About my friend. I think their request for a visit wasn’t so much a visit as it was, well, a booty call.”

“A what?” Satan asked stunned. Not by the concept, but that someone would ask that of you.

“It means—“

“I know what it means. Just, why would—“

“Well, we used to be a thing before. Not like, a couple. Just a sort of friends with benefits sort of situation.” You explain, looking sheepish.

“You used to—“

“Yes. It started with just wanting to try sex out for the first time, and it just sort of continued for awhile.”

Satan pauses to consider this. “That would explain the looks. Jealousy,” Satan said with a prideful smirk, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you to him.

You laugh and nod, leaning against him while you continue your stroll through your old neighborhood.

Asmodeus

“Who’s the cutie in all your pictures?” Asmo asks you one day, as you lay out on the couch and over top of him.

You’re resting your head within his lap, and Asmo idly runs one hand through your hair, while the other busies itself on his D.D.D.

He’s been flipping through your old photos, curious of the human life his little lover has led before him.

You stop your browsing through suggested videos on Deviltube to look up at him.

“Hm?”

“This one!” Asmo clarifies, zooming in on a face in a photo you had taken just before your move to the Devildom. “Nearly every group photo you’ve taken has this cutie in it! A lover perhaps?” He probes with interest.

“Yes and no. Just a friend,” you admit a little bashful, “Always, just a friend. But sometimes, well,” you trailed off and shrugged your shoulder a little. “We, y’know.”

“Have sex.” Asmo finishes for you, amused. Given all the ways he’s loved you, and all the talks you’ve had together, that you would still blush was endearing.

“This photo was just before you came,” Asmo notes. “Were you still together just before coming here?”

“Yes, sort of. We only rarely did so,” you explain. “Like, special occasions, and when we were feeling especially lonely. I mean, we were each other’s firsts. It just felt comfortable to do.” You say with a melancholic smile. Apparently the memories were good ones.

Asmo should be very happy for you. You have someone to have a good time with without the strings of romance, someone to experiment with, someone who could play on a kink that perhaps you hadn’t been able to find in another person (until Asmo, of course). Asmo himself practically invented the concept of a fuck buddy, and encouraged it for everyone. He’s always supported or encouraged others to enjoy the sexual experience without all the confining social rules and obligations and expectations that come with relationships.

But the Avatar of Lust had never been in love before. He was now.

The anxiety that gripped his airways was unlike any other worries he’d had before. Jealousy is not a new concept. The idea that no one might want him, like him, love him, was a constant fear. He built his entire life making absolutely sure that someone around him always did.

But it had never mattered to him who. Just as long as someone did.

Now it does. Now it matter more than anything that you did.

“Sounds like someone you’re quite fond of. Like they have a special place in your heart.” He murmurs, tracing the contours of your sweet face with his fingers.

“A place. But not a special place,” you say tilting your face to catch his fingers for a gentle kiss. “Only you exist within that space. No one else is allowed there.”

Asmo giggles, your reassurance settling him. “But of course, who could possibly compare?”

Beelzebub

“I’d prefer if you didn’t,” Beel hears you say from your bedroom. Your door is slightly ajar, and your voice is clear.

“That’s fine. Delete my number, I don’t care.” You sound tired more than agitated, though certainly the expression denotes otherwise. Tired of the conversation, of the caller, and from the lack of sleep. Beel doesn’t expect anyone else to be awake when he does his nightly kitchen raids.

“You don’t need to know why, just that I said no.” He hears your footsteps coming towards the door and Beel takes a few steps back to pretend he’s been strolling past.

But you seem to have caught on that he was there. You point to his looming shadow that had come in through the door that was his give away. Sheepishly he enters, and finds his spot on the bed. Shifting his legs so that you could plant yourself between them and lay back against him, he wraps his arms around you. He loves holding you like this. He knows you love it too. It is the most common way either of you are ever seen together—it’s comfortable as much as it is comforting, which you seem to sorely need right now.

He kisses your hair gently, softly, soundlessly so as not to disturb your phone call.

What is it? Is it cause you got someone now?

Beel hears from over the phone. He’s not trying to eavesdrop, he tells himself, he just so happens to be overhearing it because you’re cuddled so close to him.

“Doesn’t matter whether I do or not. I don’t want to. Not now. Not later.”

What we have is special—

“There is no ‘we have’. That was the entire point, that was your point when we stopped over a year ago. No strings attached, remember?”

But we’ve been together since the first. Our firsts!

“Yes, and that was nice then, and isn’t now. Stop asking me!” You’re becoming riled up now, and Beel doesn’t like to see you this way. He kisses the hand that holds your phone and gently tugs it away. You don’t put up any fight, and he hangs it up.

He gives you gentle kisses down your cheek, tilting your head up to him so that he can kiss your lips, softly, gently. Little peppered pecks to let you know he is here, he loves you, you are safe. You meet every little kiss with one of your own, a thank you for each one you receive.

Your phone lights up, indicating another call is coming in though it remains silent.

“Block his number,” Beel mutters. “But not right now.”

You hum happily against his kisses, and simply turn the phone screen down.

Belphegor

Belphie knows when you’re upset and you’re hiding something. You sigh in a way you think he can’t hear, but he can feel it in the way you breathe lying in his arms.

“What’s the matter?” he mumbles without bothering to open his eyes.

“Nothing,” you say, sounding rather surprised that he had noticed at all. He smirks, loving the way he knows you so well.

Slowly he encircles your waist and tugs you even closer to him. He hums as he kisses your neck, knowing the overwhelming affection will persuade you to him: either because you feel comfortable, or because it annoys you. It depends on your mood, it depends on the day. Either way, it works, and he gets kisses. He doesn’t mind.

You giggle but try to pull yourself away, not in the mood.

“It’s nothing important,” you clarify. “Just received a text from someone I never thought I would again.”

“Someone good, or someone bad?” Belphie asks.

“Was good, now, I don’t know.” You say with a sigh as you turn to face him. “Was a good friend. Were very close for a time. Very close.” You emphasized. “It just sort of fell apart after, well...”

Belphie, eyed you, patiently waiting for more. He wasn’t one to rush you as you tried to gather your words. Instead he trailed fingers over your arms, busying himself with how soft your skin was.

“I just didn’t end up feeling the same way, you know? I suppose it shouldn’t have been a surprise given all the sex, but—“

“Sex?” Belphie asked, his eyes snapping to lock on to yours.

“Yes. Like I said, we were very close.” You repeated, punctuating very close again, as if Belphie was suppose to have somehow understood the connotation the first time. “Was even my first,” you sigh, sounding disappointed.

“We had a no-strings attached thing agreement to keep it very casual.” You said shyly averting your gaze. “But apparently, feelings that weren’t there, suddenly were. Not on my end, but—“ You sighed again.

“So what’s the text say?” Belphie asked.

“Just hey.”

“You gonna say anything back?” Belphie asked quietly, his insides in turmoil at the thought of you reconnecting with, with... a sex buddy.

You have me, he argues without words—his hands drift to your waist to pull you against him, where he grinds gently.

Catching his concerns, you smile and drape a leg over him as he begins a grind.

“No,” you hum, tossing your phone on to the pillow behind you to cuddle into your needy boyfriend. “I don’t need anyone else,” you assure him, your mood shifting now that your mind no longer fretted over an old lover. Time to focus on your current one.

[finn-ray-nal-beads]

i seriously will not be able to stop thinking about your Daddy Clyde holy hell you write him so beautifully. ugh Daddy's so gritty and dirty and just the right amount of meannnn ugh i hate you and love you at the same time. that piece stressin' me tf out ugh i really n e e d more of it lmao

A/N: @ohdamnadamm AS PER YOUR REQUEST DARLIN’ I COOKED UP A FILTHY ASS FUCKIN’ NUGGET FROM THE INNER MECHANISMS OF MY MIND (AND THANKS TO @in-silks-and-flesh-and-leather FOR HER DAD BOD FIC FOR THE LOVE OF PETE IM SO HARD FOR THAT AMAZING THOT, BLESS YOU ITS BEEN RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND FOR 48 HRS STRAIGHT AND IVE READ IT UPWARDS OF TWENTY TIMES) IM NOT SORRY IN THE SLIGHTEST. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, SWEET BABE! 

Warnings: Daddy kink, BJ’s, ball-sucking, choking, cumshots, cum eating, unprotected sex, dirty talk and LOTS OF IT, teasing, marking, breeding kink, hair pulling, scratching, just pure fuckin’ hot sweaty porn, no plot whatsoever, SMUT SMUT SMUT AND MORE FUCKIN’ CLYDE LOGAN SMUT. 

The hot sun beat down in the small trailer located in the boonies of West Virginia, the AC had decided to take a shit early that mornin’, sendin’ your big bear to go to the Home Depot for some tools to fix it right up for his baby doll. 

You sat, perched on the couch in nothin’ but your little pink thong, and laced up bralette, sweatin’ to high heaven as you waited for your tin foil knight to return and save the heat stroke you had been sufferin’ since damn near five in the mornin’. 

“Jesus fuck,” you exhaled, rubbin’ more sweat off your soakin’ tits, pullin’ your hair into a sticky mess of a bun as you fanned yourself over the hot August fog that settled in the small quarters. 

“I’m just fuckin’ parched as all hell,” gettin’ up from the couch, makin’ your way to the fridge to stick your head in the freezer for some relief, only to find your savin’ grace for the next twenty minutes or so, a box of red-white-n-blue rocket pops. 

“Oh fuck me!” reachin’ for them as you tore the box open like a feral cat, rippin’ the packagin’ and shovin’ that popsicle into your gapin’ mouth, a moan emittin’ throughout the room as you savored the icy cold of the frozen delicacy. 

Just then, the door shuffled open to let your hulk of a man in from the blisterin’ heat of the day, his white t-shirt stained in tit sweat, and his brimmed ball cap sweat covered too. He dropped the bag on the floor, airin’ out his shirt as he looked around for your pretty little figure. 

“Baby girl?” concerned you weren’t in his line of sight, inchin’ towards the kitchen, “where ya at?” peerin’ around the partition to see the hottest thing he’d seen all damn day. You perched on the kitchen counter, tits completely sweat covered, legs spread open like a porn star, and a bomb pop slidin’ in and out of your perfect lips, the colored juices drippin’ down your chin into the valley of your chest as you eyeballed him from the livin’ room. 

“What’s ma perty lil’ baby doin’ on the counter, huh?” movin’ over to you as he wiped his sweat covered face with his t-shirt, exposin’ his precious belly and shinin’ tits. 

“Ya know it’s dangerous ta be on the counter like that baby doll,” panderin’ as he rubbed your soft thighs, bendin’ down to kiss and suck on the skin as you thrust the popsicle in and out of your mouth, not losin’ the slightest bit of eye contact, “wouldn’t want daddy’s precious baby girl ta get herself hurt, now, would we?” ghostin’ his lips over your succulent and swollen cunt. 

“Mhmm,” whinin’ out at his touches on your sensitive skin, forcin’ the treat down your open throat even more, “‘m sorry daddy,” moanin’ as he lifted his head to smirk at your fuck me face. 

“I don’t think yer sorry in the slightest darlin’,” gigglin’ as he stood to his full height, leanin’ in to grip the empty stick from your mouth, tossin’ it on the floor, “I think ya like bein’ a lil’ brat, don’t ya baby girl?” tiltin’ your chin to meet his searin’ gaze as he pushed his lips onto yours, sighin’ as he pulled you flush to him, inhalin’ your sweet scent as the kiss deepened. 

“Ya know what kinda punishment lil’ brats get?” he pulled away, grippin’ your hair to wrench your head back up to his, suckin’ marks on your neck as he gathered you in his huge arms. 

“No, daddy, I don’t,” bitin’ your lip at the pain of his ministrations on your pulse, “p-please tell me what I get,” moanin’ as he pulled your hair tighter and tighter. 

Liftin’ his head back up, starin’ into your eyes, “get off the damn counter and assume yer position in front a the couch baby girl,” lettin’ go of your head as he watched you slide down off your perch to slink into the livin’ room, your ass red from the duration of your stay on the linoleum lined top as he watched it sway with your hips, completely entranced. 

“Like this daddy?” bendin’ down on your knees, as he slid himself in front of the lip of the couch to gaze at your pretty little face beggin’ to be fucked. Your hands behind your back, head cocked up to meet his stare, tits pushed out, nipples peaked, and your vision on him and him only. 

“Stick that lil’ tongue out baby girl,” fumblin’ with his belt and zipper as he watched you present the organ as requested, “daddy wanna see his lil’ cumbucket,” releasin’ his half hardened cock to sit on the couch like the king he was. He reached his hand to pull on the appendage, a moan emittin’ from your throat as he motioned you closer with it. 

“Yer gonna suck ma cock until yer cryin’ for air baby girl,” musin’ as you lowered your face to his large balls, nuzzlin’ your nose in the softness and musk envelopin’ them in his aura. 

“Yes, daddy,” whisperin’ as you pecked tiny kisses on them, “I wanna be a good girl fer you,” lickin’ the skin like a kitten. 

“Mhmm,” he moaned out, his balls twitchin’ at your movements on them, “yer such a good girl fer yer daddy,” praisin’ as you sucked one into your mouth, tuggin’ on the skin and rollin’ your tongue around the sac. 

“Mmm, ya taste so good daddy,” movin’ to the other testicle to mimic the motions just as good as the other, savorin’ his manly scent as you made out with his scrotum, his cock wavin’ like a flag in the sky as you tugged on the other ball. 

“G-god d-damn,” he cooed, grippin’ your head to lift you up from his sac, “that’s enough a that baby girl,” lust blown as he rubbed the sides of your temples, causing your eyes to roll back in your head as he lowered your lips to his weepin’ tip. 

“Now yer gonna take this cock baby girl,” gazin’ at the sight of you foamin’ at the mouth under his larger than life dick, “go on ‘n suck yer daddy,” shovin’ your perfect little mouth onto his achin’ dick, revelin’ in the gaggin’ sounds you made as he pushed your head completely down on him. 

“Open up fer me baby girl,” gaspin’ as your jaw went slack over his throbbin’ cock, “there ya go darlin’,” praisin’ as you sped up your sloppy gyrations on him. 

“S-such a p-perty lil’ cumbucket,” watchin’ as the spit fell in globs on his jeans, and the tears spilled from your eyes over his girth, “what a g-good baby girl daddy has,” throwin’ his head back in pleasure as you sucked your cheeks in, rollin’ your tongue on the underside of his veiny dick.

“Daddy’s gettin’ close baby girl,” he panted out as you adjusted your angle to hit your uvula just the right way, causin’ an animalistic moan to reverberate on the thin walls of the trailer. 

“I-I’m,” shovin’ your head off his cock, causin’ a huge gasp for air to leave your lips and wide eyes to meet your man as he palmed his red angry cock in his hand. 

“Open yer perty mouth baby girl!” growlin’ out as the largest stream of semen you’d ever seen squirt from his head, landin’ on your tongue, tits, and chin. 

“Motherfuck-k,” he palmed himself until the last of it landed on your skin, takin’ huge deep breaths as he let go of his limp cock, “ya alright baby girl?” watchin’ the color return to your face as you sucked up his spend from your face. 

“I’m just fine daddy,” crawlin’ on to his lap, thighs on either side of him as you nestled your covered pussy on his still throbbin’ cock. 

“Ya such a good girl fer me,” pettin’ your arms as you gripped the back of his head, leanin’ in for a steamy kiss as you gyrated your hips on him. 

“Mhmm,” he chuckled, “does ma sweet baby need somethin’ from her daddy?” watchin’ as you bat your eyelashes at him, “use yer words darlin’,” he pandered once again, bringin’ a thumb to tug at your bottom lip. 

“I need ya to fuck me, daddy,” bringin’ the digit into your mouth as you moved again on his dick, the hardness comin’ back in a wave at your friction, “please, I’ve been a good girl fer you,” suckin’ on it like a pacifier. 

“Ya right baby girl,” he cooed, “I can’t say no to yer sweet lil’ pussy anyways,” watchin’ as you lifted your hips to line his cock up with your achin’ slit, rubbin’ your built-up slick around on the head. Pushin’ your hips slowly down on his length, swallowin’ every single inch like the popsicle you’d been devourin’ minutes prior. 

“G-good god darlin’,” breath hitchin’ as he took in your tight walls clenchin’ on his cock, “ya so damn tight, no matter how many times yer daddy fucks ya,” musin’ as you started your little dance on his lap. 

Hips in a death grip by his flesh and blood hand and his metal one as you gyrated your body, tits bouncin’ in his face, sweat buildin’ up in the heat of the trailer as skin slappin’ emitted through every room in the house. 

“F-fuck big bear!” you cried out, feelin’ his head pokin’ your cervix with every thrust he was makin’ upwards, completely sendin’ you into another dimension of pleasure, “ya stretch me out so damn good daddy!” moanin’ into every knock he made on your open womb. 

“Ya gonna cum on daddy’s big cock baby girl?” watchin’ your mouth gape open as your tits fall out of the sorry excuse for a bra you’d chosen, “daddy wants ya ta cum so damn bad!” speedin’ his movements up until tears fell again from your face. 

“Daddy!” grippin’ on his shoulders, drawin’ blood as he pummeled your hole with everything he had, “d-daddy I-I’m g-gon-,” the friction from his jeans rubbin’ your clit for him as you unraveled and released your sweet sticky spend on him. 

“F-fuck!” cryin’ out in unrelentin’ waves of bliss as he rode you out to pound town. 

“Such a perty baby girl,” musin’ as he thrust his cock in and out with more fervor, “daddy’s gettin’ close baby,” he praised once again, gritting his teeth as he set an ungodly speed on your overstimulated body.  

“D-daddy’s c-close,” he grunted, thrustin’ in once more before unloadin’ his spend into your gapin’ slit, shovin’ it further a further as he kept thrustin’ into you. 

“J-Jesus f-fuckin’ C-Christ,” hips still in his grip as it tightened from his orgasm, “ya feel s-so good darlin’,” stillin’ himself as you both gazed into each other, takin’ in the heat that had built over the last hour. 

He brought you into an embrace, smellin’ your hair, as you pet his sweat covered back, kissin’ the moles on his shoulder and rubbin’ the scratches that had built up. After a few more seconds, you went to hop off him, only to be stilled back in your spot. 

“Clyde, baby!” you looked at him, irritated and sweaty, “what the hell? It’s fuckin’ hot an’ I have ta pee,” tryin’ to pry his hands off your hips still. 

“Nah baby girl,” he tsked, “yer gonna sit here with ma cum in your pussy for a minute,” musin’ and rubbin’ your lower belly, “I wanna make sure ya keep it nice n’ safe up there,” eyes dilatin’ as he watched your expression change too. 

“Oh really?” movin’ a hand to slick his mop of hair back, “ya think this is gonna do the trick ta knock my ass up like ya want me ta be big bear?” gigglin’ as his toothy smile appeared as a result of your words. 

“Well, it’s a damn start innit?” nuzzlin’ his cheek in your hand, “need ta make sure ma swimmers explore all parts a the cave darlin’,” chucklin’ as you rolled your eyes. 

“Yer lucky yer the cutest thing on the planet,” softenin’ at his precious face restin’ in your fingers, “that jus’ makes me wanna have as many babies as possible so they get yer perty lil’ features,” rubbin’ his cheek as a tear welled up in his eyes. 

“I ain’t as precious as you are baby girl,” rubbin’ more little circles on your lower tummy, “I can’t wait ta see the perfect lil’ ones we do make,” the wetness rollin’ out of his eyes as he thought about a little Logan joinin’ the trailer. 

“Oh shit!” he jolted, scarin’ the crap out of you as you stood up, “I totally fuckin’ forgot!” he jumped up from the couch. 

“Forgot what big bear!” clutchin’ your chest as you crossed your legs to avoid the liquid from fallin’ out of your bladder and your pussy. 

“I have ta fix the fuckin’ AC!”

_____________

IN CONCLUSION, 

🖤, 

ray-nal-beads

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, MORE BLOOD Vol. 5: Mukami Yuma [Track 5 + Epilogue]

Original title: 砂時計は勝者の手に & エピローグ

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, More Blood Vol. 5 Mukami Yuma [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here & here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: One problem I have with a lot of the MMB CDs is that if you buy just the main CD, the story feels horribly incomplete so you’re basically forced to buy the Deluxe edition, just to get the extra track (Another Story). In Yuma’s case - while it is an open ending still - I do feel like the story is somewhat wrapped up? The MC abused the hourglass and it came back to bite her in the ass, which once again shows that karma is a force to be reckoned. :P

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 5: The Winner Gets the Hourglass

“Mmh...Hah...”

*Sluuuurp*

“Haah...! Haah, haah...”

*Rustle rustle*

Yuma taps your cheek.

“...Oi, ya ‘kay?”

You weakly nod.

“Nn...Seems like ya won’t be gettin’ up any time soon, huh? Heh, don’t worry ‘bout it. Just keep lyin’ down like that. I’ll put this on ya as well.”

He drapes his jacket on top of you.

*Rustle rustle*

“I doubt a single jacket will make much of a difference, but it’s better than nothin’, right? Anyway...I don’t know if I should blame it on the fact it had been a whole week, but I sucked way too much. I didn’t think I’d keep goin’ till ya became totally immobilized... (1) Oh well, I feel satisfied so I guess it’s fine.”

You puff out your cheeks in frustration.

“Hah? Whatcha complainin’ ‘bout? If ya think ‘bout it, things turned out this way ‘cause you abused that hourglass. I’m sure ya realize now just how frightening a deprived man can be? Don’t ever leave me hungry again, ‘kay?”

 You promise.

“Speakin’ of which, where’s that hourglass right now?”

You explain.

“Inside yer pocket? Ahー”

Yuma starts feeling around.

*Rustle rustle*

“What? I’m just touchin’, right? Ya can’t move anyway, so behave.”

*Cling*

“Uhm...Ah, there it is.”

*Cling*

“...Hmph. So this bad boy was givin’ me a hard time, huh? ...There!”

He flips the hourglass around.

*Cling*

*WOOSH*

“Oh! We actually rewinded to right after arrivin’ at the storage room! This thing’s really amazin’...”

You get upset at Yuma for using the hourglass.

“Hm? What’s wrong? Pretty bold comin’ from the person who used this to their advantage this whole time, don’t ya think? I did it to return yer exhausted body back to its original state. Ya would have ended up anemic if I continued to suck yer blood, no?”

You frown, asking if he wants to suck your blood again.

“Yeah, exactly. Did ya really think a few sips would be enough to still my thirst? I’ll suck ya over and over till I’m full.”

You seem surprised.

“Don’t ‘heeeh?’ me. You’re the one who lost. Keep me company ‘till this hourglass runs out of magic. Aren’t ya happy too? Ya get to experience that feelin’ of bliss from earlier as many times as ya want.”

You try and run but Yuma pins you against the wall.

*THUD*

“See? I’ve got ya cornered against the wall. Up till here, it’s the exact same scenario as before. However, this time I’ll be takin’ my sweet time toyin’ with ya. Yer body has returned to its previous state as well, so I’ll work ya up a lil’ more and suck yer blood when it’s at its finest.”

*Rustle rustle*

“I’ll bite yer finger. And then keep on stimulatin’ ya in various ways...”

*Sluuuurp*

“This arm too...”

Yuma bites your arm.

*Sluuuurp*

“Next, your shoulder as well...”

*Chomp*

“Mmh...You’re ‘bout to give in just from a lil’ bite? But don’t lose yerself just yet. Heh. You’re covered in my marks. It’s obvious who ya belong to at first glance. Also this scent...”

*Sniff*

“Ahー It’s gettin’ there...Look, here’s the fangs ya love so much. I’ll pierce them in nice and deep.”

He bites you again.

*Sluuuurp*

“Haah...Ugh, don’t struggle! Ahー I just bit ya so the blood’s gushin’ out...What a waste...”

He laps it up.

*Sluuuurp*

“Haah...This side too...”

*Rustle*

“Ah, over here too...”

*Sluuuurp*

“...Hah! Woah there...!”

You nearly collapse but Yuma catches you just in time.

*Rustle rustle*

“That was close. Guess it only took one round to make her faint this time, huh? Well, guess I can’t blame her. Well then, let’s go once more...”

*Cling*

“I won’t stop...until I’m satisfied.”

Track 6: Epilogue

*Rustle rustle*

“Mmh...”

*Sluuuurp*

“Haah...Nn...”

*Sluuuurp*

“Woah there...You’re already growin’ weak? Get used to it already. Well, guess it makes sense. I’ve sucked yer blood countless of times by now. Even if yer body returns to normal, the sensations keep pilin’ up inside yer mind, don’t they? But now ya get just how pent up I was, right? There’s just no way I could hold off on suckin’ yer blood.”

*Rustle*

“...You’re special. I’ll engrave that fact in yer body whether ya like it or not. Time after time, until ya realize. So...Let’s keep the ball rollin’...Seems like there’s some magic left in the hourglass, so the fun is still far from over...”

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes 

(1) 足腰が立たなくなる or ‘ashikoshi ga tatanakunaru’ literally means ‘to become unable of moving ones legs and lower back’ but it is used in the sense of ‘being mobile’.

-->  PROCEED TO ANOTHER STORY [DELUXE EDITION ONLY]

[meltwonu]

| good in bed |     [chapter 1]

pairing; non-idol!chan x reader

this chapter’s notes; HELLO HELLO!! Gettin this ball rollin with the first chapter of good in bed!!!😚💕 Thank u for the interest in this fwb au with chan~ he needs more love yall hehe kind of an introductory chapter but fingering, (barely a) handjob and minor exhibitionism eheheh love u!!!💕💕💕💕

chapters; 1 - x - x - x

“So, how was your date with Jun-hyung?”

Chan toes his shoes off at the door, arms full of groceries and snacks for your weekly movie night at your apartment. You set your own bags down on the countertop before sighing and wiping the sweat from your brow. “It was okay. He kept asking me if I wanted to see videos of his hot dog roller and I couldn’t tell if that was sexual or if he really had a hot dog roller?” Chan laughs to tears, barely setting his bags down on the dining table before collapsing to the floor.

“Fuck, please tell me you’re kidding?” You shake your head ‘no’ at him, placing the various groceries in their places in the kitchen before grabbing the box of popcorn to make.

“I wish I was. He asked me if I wanted to go on a second date so he could show it to me in person.”

“Did you say yes?”

You shoot Chan an incredulous look, placing the bag of popcorn in the microwave and pressing start. “Uh, no?” He gets up from the floor, wiping the stray tears from his eyes before grabbing some of the other snacks and taking them to the living room to set up the space for your movie night.

“You should’ve. Maybe he would’ve shown you his massive dick and you missed out.”

You’re 3 movies in, 2 bags of popcorn cooked and Chan is already nodding off at 9PM.

“Chan, you ok over there?” He hums, sitting up on the sofa as he yawns. “Yeah, sorry, Soonyoung-hyung is really grilling us for the dance competition and we’re in the practice room a lot longer than usual. I’m beat. He could rip my legs off and I wouldn’t even feel it.” You look over to him rubbing his eyes, trying to wipe the sleepiness out of them as he reaches for the bucket of popcorn in between the two of you. “You should’ve just stayed home and rested, you didn’t need to come over for movie night if you’re this tired...” Frowning, you reach over, smoothing his mussed hair as he whines.

“I’m not a baby! And anyway, we’ve never missed movie night! Remember the time we got food poisoning from Jihoon-hyung’s cooking? We still had movie night, just with barf buckets.”

Laughing at the memory, you get up from your spot on the sofa, grabbing more drinks from the kitchen before settling back into your spot on the couch.

“True, I don’t know what we’d do without our movie nights.” Chan’s eyes flit to your form next to him, fingers in the bowl of popcorn. “I dunno, probably getting laid?” You choke on a sip of soda, the carbonated beverage getting onto your shirt. “What!?”

“What? Am I wrong? I don’t think I’ve heard you talk about any of your dates getting any further than the first date lately. And you’ve gone on a lot of them recently.”

The blush that coats your features is burning hot as you set your drink down onto the coffee table. You and Chan had talked about your dates and love lives before, but something about how blunt he’d just been surprised you. “Yeah, well, I dunno. I’m just not getting the right vibes, y’know? I know you’re friends with some of the people I’ve dated but just… I dunno. Maybe my chakras aren’t aligned or whatever.” He rolls his eyes at you jokingly, tired eyes back to the forgotten movie on screen.

“What if we just… I dunno, fucked?”

You can feel your pupils shaking as you stare holes into the side of Chan’s head. “Excuse me, what?”

He clears his throat, reaching for his glass of water on the side table before taking a sip and setting it back down. “I mean, you haven’t been getting any and I haven’t been getting any… We should maybe try it out?”

“You make it sound like we’re just trying kombucha for the first time! How are you so calm about this?!”

Chan laughs as he glances at you, noticing the blush covering your cheeks. “Because… Well, I don’t know. I guess cause we’re best friends? I trust you out of all people, you know? I know you won’t bite my dick off?” You bite the inside of your cheek; in all honesty, you had a huge crush on Chan for a while and the only reason you’d been going on so many dates lately was because you were trying to forget about your crush on Chan.

“Chan… I don’t know, this seems complicated?”

“You said you weren’t getting laid so…”

“Yeah, Chan, I said that but I dunno about this…”  He cracks a smile, hand in the bucket of popcorn next to you. “You also said you didn’t want random hook-ups either, not after Seungkwan tried to finger you in that Ferris wheel two weeks ago.” You grimace at the memory; you were 3 seconds away from getting the good ‘ol police escort out of the theme park.

“I did say that…”

“Well? I’m not random, I’m your best friend! And anyway, Soonyoung’s been so far up my ass with practice for the dance competition at the end of the year so I haven’t been getting any either. It’d work out for both of us?” Chan crams a fist full of popcorn into his mouth, eyes never leaving the tv screen. You contemplate his words for a minute; Chan was insanely handsome and if you were being completely honest, you’d had a crush on him for a while now which is why you weren’t sure this was the right route.

“Chan, I don’t know…”

“Okay, well, just think about it? I’m always here for you. Even if you want to tie me up to the bedpost.”

You nod, a quiet ‘okay’ leaving your lips before you turn to the tv yourself.

“Let’s finish this movie because Sonic the Hedgehog is next on our list and I wanna see it already.”

When Chan leaves your apartment at midnight, he hugs you goodbye, reminding you to think about his proposition. You nod, a tight lipped smile on your face when you shut the door.

You tidy up your place slowly, the thoughts of Chan swimming in your head the entire time it takes for you to clean up and get ready for bed. There was really nothing wrong with his suggestion; you just weren’t sure if it’d make or break your friendship with him. It was fine that you kept your crush on him to yourself, but you knew that adding any sort of physical relationship would make it hard for you to not fall for him even harder. On the flipside, you’d finally be able to fuck your crush without him noticing anything, probably.

Groaning, you reach for your phone, scrolling through various apps before sighing again. Was it worth all the risk?

Screw it, you think, if it destroys our friendship at least we went out with a bang.

You realize when you ring the doorbell to Jeonghan’s apartment that only an actual psycho throws a party on a Tuesday night. I guess that’d be Jeonghan. He opens the door and lets you in, a drunken flush already evident on his skin as he thrusts a cup into your hand.

“There’s more drinks in the kitchen, Minghao’s the bartender tonight!!” You grimace as you smell the contents of the cup, taking a sip before you walk further into the apartment. Noticing a few of your one time dates, you awkwardly wave at them before making a beeline for the kitchen in order to avoid conversation.

“Hey! There you are, come have a drink!”

To your slight surprise, Chan’s already there, arm outstretched with a shot in hand. You had barely talked to him all weekend, giving him and yourself some time to think about the decision you’d both made. Although he had texted you once at 3am asking you a list of your top ten things you wanted to try out in the bedroom; to which you had taken at least 3 hours to come up with before sending the text and throwing your phone at your bed as the sun began to rise into the sky.

Taking the shot out of his hand, you down it, setting the cup back onto the countertop. “When did you get here, Chan?” He downs his own before wrapping an arm around your waist and tugging you closer towards him. 

“Not too long ago, but Jeonghan’s been really shoving the alcohol down our throats tonight so it feels like it’s been hours.” He finishes with a laugh, fingertips digging into your clothed waist. “Been thinkin’ about you though, y’kno?”

“O-oh, really?”

“Mmhmm. Y’kno that fourth thing on your list that you sent me… I was waiting for you to show up cause I think we can try it out if you’re interested. I’m not gonna lie, I was getting a ‘lil ahead of myself and thinkin’ about all the things I wanted to do to you if you’d let me. Wanna get started?” You blush, almost crushing the cup in your hand when you remember what the fourth item on your list was.

Exhibitionism.

“I, um, o--okay, yeah let’s---let’s do it.”

When Chan pushes you into the storage closet of Jeonghan’s apartment, you can’t help but be a little confused, almost tripping over a misplaced wrench before plastering yourself against the wall.

“No offense Chan, but a storage closet?” He turns the flashlight on from his phone, searching for a light inside of the tiny room only to not find one before turning the flashlight off. “Aww, baby wants to fuck on a bed?” His voice is teasing, a stupidly handsome smirk visible on his face once your eyes adjust to the dark.

“Normally yes?”

“Well, too bad. The only bed in this place is Jeonghan’s and I know he’d make my life hell if I fucked you on it. Anyway, I… I wanna take it a ‘lil slow with you so we’ll start off with some basic shit, okay?” You roll your eyes, although you can’t deny the heat pooling in your lower abdomen. “I don’t know how basic this’ll be but … okay.”

Chan places his hands on your waist, pulling you towards him so that you can feel his hardness already straining in his jeans. “I’m not gonna lie, I was a little shocked when you sent that list of yours… But if I’m being honest, a lot of it is stuff I wanted to try too, so I guess it works out for us, huh?” He grinds into you, a small moan on his lips when he slots a leg in between yours. “Did you think about me at all?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Good. Can I kiss you?”

“Yes… please.” You’re nervous and about to change your entire relationship with Chan but the excitement overpowers all of your other emotions when he leans in, his lips on yours for the first time ever. He tastes like vodka and citrus when he dips his tongue into your mouth; your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him in closer.

His hips work against yours as the two of you grind against each other in the tiny space. Chan’s lips part from yours, trailing down your neck in soft movements. “Can I leave marks?” You nod your head furiously, moaning loudly at his lips sucking love bites onto your skin. “I’m surprised you asked. Don’t you want them to know what we’re doing in here?” Chan smirks against your skin, hands moving from your waist to the button on your jeans.

“Mmm, don’t we both?” Chan pops the button of your jeans, working the zipper down before he plays with the hem of your panties between his fingertips. “I want to make sure you want this before I start. I want to hear you say it.”

“I want you, Chan.”

You don’t know how long has passed since Chan’s fingers spread your pussy open, the sound of your wetness bouncing off of the tiny room’s walls. “Ugh, Chan, p-please, another finger? I need more!” The music playing outside in the living room is loud and you hope somewhat that your voice is muffled when you cry out. Chan obliges, adding a third finger as you grind down onto his digits.

“Aww, baby, I’ve been doing all the work. Won’t you give me a ‘lil something too?”

You tug him in for another kiss, trailing a hand down his torso before you’re undoing his jeans, pushing his underwear down to wrap a hand around his cock. Precum leaks from the tip as Chan moans against your lips, thrusting his hips up into your closed hand as you squeeze your hand around him.

“Bet you wish it was my pussy instead, huh?” 

You bite his lower lip before pulling away, “Too bad you didn’t just fuck me on Jeonghan’s bed but oh well~” Chan growls, thrusting his fingers into you particularly hard before his thumb starts to circle your clit.

“Don’t get cocky with me now, babe. Being a brat was only 8th on your list and I don’t think you want me to get mean with you just yet.”You grip on his cock loosens as you feel your orgasm building, moans freely spilling from your lips.

“Hey do you hear that?”

A muffled voice on the other side of the closet door has you pausing for a second, pussy clenching around Chan’s fingers. He smirks in the darkness, rubbing quicker circles on your clit. “C’mon, baby, cum for me, let them hear how pretty you sound when I’m making you cum.”

“Fuck, what the hell are you two doing in my closet!?”

Chan laughs, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “Cum, now.”  

All you can hear is the sound of your heart thrumming in your chest and Chan’s breathy moans as Jeonghan’s voice gets drowned out in the background when you cum. You’re sure nothing coherent is leaving your lips when Chan’s fingers continue to work you through it.

“Get the fuck out of my closet you nasty asses!”

“Ok but they sound good, ya’ll got an onlyfans or what?”

“Oof, is this why there was no second date?”

When Chan pulls his fingers out of your pussy is when you start to remember when you are, fingers still loosely wrapped around his cock when he licks his fingers clean. You run your hand up and down his shaft; hand coated in a sticky substance.

“Damn baby, even with the zero energy handjob I still came, guess you’re that powerful huh? Wonder what that pussy will do to me when we finally get to it.”

“Bitch, I will fucking kill you before you get to it, now get out of my closet!”

[thestupidhelmet]

Two things that break my heart are when Hyde tells Jackie he cheated and Jackie says that’s what Michael used to say and he says come on Jackie that moment always makes me cry and then season 7 episode on with the show when he tells her congratulations on her show and she says thank you and his yeah after also makes me cry

Hyde puts his own feelings aside in “On with the Show” (7x16) so that Jackie can feel empowered in her independence. He won’t take that moment away from her, despite that he wants to reconcile with her then. Jackie’s feelings and needs, separate from his, are more important to him in that scene. This is the self-sacrificing, noble, and compassionate Hyde that’s sorely missing during too much of his relationship with Jackie during seasons 5-7.

That being said ...

when Hyde tells Jackie he cheated and Jackie says that’s what Michael used to say and he says come on Jackie

My empathy is for Jackie in that moment. Hyde is emotionally selfish in this scene. What he mostly cares about is that he won’t lose Jackie because he betrayed her, not that he betrayed her. His, “Come on, Jackie,” is a dismissal of her pain. We knows this because of his later scene with her in the episode. Had that gone differently, we could interpret the above differently.

Yes, he’s honest with Jackie about what he did -- that he’d assumed Jackie was using him and cheating on him with Kelso, so he tried to hurt her and end their relationship by sleeping with someone else -- but he goes no deeper than that.

If he had a true understanding of his choices, he would’ve gone beyond saying, “And I’m really sorry okay. I promise it’ll never happen again.”

The scene in the episode is meant to be short. So when he decides to fight for her later one, his words and actions could’ve shown us his concern is about Jackie’s feelings and how badly he hurt her, not trying to coax and manipulate her into forgiving him.

That scene goes as follows:

Hyde: The thing is I’m really sorry.

Jackie: Yeah you said that already.

Hyde: Come on, Jackie, I made a mistake, okay? It was a stupid, one-time thing.

Jackie: You know what, Steven? I’ve heard it all before -- from you, from Michael. God, just do me a favor and leave me alone.

Hyde: Whatever. ... [Attitude changing.] Jackie ... I love you

We find a parallel to this scene in “Kiss of Death” (2x20) between Jackie and Kelso, which Hyde is present for.

Kelso: But I’m done making excuses. And all I can say is -- is that I’m sorry. And I love you. And I will do whatever I can, every day from now on so that you know that’s true. So will you please, please, please take me back?

Jackie: Oh, Michael. No. No, you know what? We’re through. Forever.

The irony here is that although Kelso’s transgression, in many ways, is worse than Hyde’s -- he cheats on Jackie for months with Laurie without any intention of telling her about it or breaking up with Jackie while Hyde cheats on Jackie once, with the intention of that it will break up him and Jackie, then he tells Jackie about it almost immediately -- Kelso’s apology a level above Hyde’s.

After Kelso tells Jackie he loves her, he says, “ And I will do whatever I can, every day from now on so that you know that’s true.” It’s a promise to change his behavior, which he eventually follows through with when they reconcile in the last third of season 3.

Hyde’s, “I love you,” comes after his attempt to get Jackie to dismiss his betrayal as a “stupid, one-time thing” and her own pain fails. He’s initially pissed-frustrated-dismissive at her refusal. Then he uses his first, “I love you,” as a last-ditch effort for her to forgive him. He genuinely means what he says. It’s also a plea, but it’s still tainted by selfishness.

Never does Hyde say he understands why she equates his betrayal of her with Kelso’s. Nor does he acknowledge the fact that after Kelslo promises to “do whatever [he can], every day from now on” to make sure Jackie feels loved by him, Kelso becomes full-on malicious two weeks later when Jackie refuses to take him back. Kelso’s remorse transforms into resentment due to feelings of entitlement, and Hyde displays that same entitlement with Jackie in “Nobody’s Fault but Mine” (5x23).

Hyde should’ve been aware of why Jackie wouldn’t trust his words. His actions already proved he has the same capacity for maliciousness toward her as Kelso does. He should’ve done all he could to reassure Jackie that he understands all that -- and said his feelings right now are irrelevant. All he cares about are hers. If she wants him to back off, he will. If she doesn’t think she can ever trust him again, he gets it. He’d feel the same if someone had betrayed him like he’d betrayed her.

Hyde: She’d have to earn my trust back -- by backing off. What I’m about to say isn’t a play to get you to forgive me. I just need you to know that ... I love you.

Jackie: Yeah? Well, I don’t love you.

Hyde: Fair enough. I don’t love me either ‘cause of what I did to you. That kind of B.S. showed the opposite of love, man, so ... anyway, all I want is for you to be happy, all right? And I’ll start that ball rollin’ by gettin’ out of here.

He leaves Donna’s room.

Instead, on the show, Hyde acts entitled to Jackie’s forgiveness and annoyed when she doesn’t give it to him, (subconsciously) manipulates her with his, “I love you,” and eventually makes a false equivalency between Jackie making him and Kelso compete for her love in minor competitions in “Celebration Day” (5x25), like gathering firewood, and him having sex with someone else as an act of pure hostility against her.

Actually, he believes Jackie’s one night of coaxing him and Kelso  into competing over her in small ways is a deeper injury, a worse transgression. 

Within the context of all that, I don’t feel much empathy for Hyde in “Nobody’s Fault but My Own”. The scene between him and Jackie in the El Camino does -- because his pain can be interpreted as both for her as we as himself. But what comes after in that episode and in the show gives that scene a completely different reading: that he’s feeling badly only for himself. 

I depict a self-aware, self-sacrificing Hyde during this storyline in Those ‘70s Comics, from “Nobody’s Fault but My Own” through their reconciliation in season 6. You can read the relevant comics from season 5 here (the first one is at the top of the page, but on the subsequent pages, the first comic will be at the bottom).

You can read the continuing of Jackie and Hyde’s storyline in the comics’ version of season 6 here (first comic of that season is at the bottom of the page; Jackie and Hyde aren’t in it).

[jruc]

✰. — √ ❝ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋. ❍ { ENTER THE JRUE. ( !! ) }

JRUE stood in front of the green screen with his phone practically glued to his hands. he had been typing away on the device ever since he entered the building. the production crew had yet to ask if he was ready to film, so he continued the conversation he was holding via text. when his final message indicated that it was delivered to the other party, he lifted his head briefly to inquire an, “are we rollin’?” when he was given the cue to begin his confessional in ten seconds, he pocketed the device before looking straight ahead to film his introduction to the show.

“comin’ to you live from the three-o-five, i am JRUE HASSAN and i am twenty-five years old.” with a small grin on his features, he lifted his hands to clasp them together, then rolled his fingers along one another as he spoke. “you might have seen me in a few tmz reports, maybe even on a couple of shade room posts, but you should be most familiar wit’ me from football. on sunday nights, i ball out wit’ my teammates as a professional quarterback. recently traded from the SAN FRANSISCO 49ERS, i am now a part of the ATLANTA FALCONS.” he paused, releasing the hold of his hands to drop them at his sides. “you may be askin’ yourself, ‘how did he get on here? hassan? i don’t know shit about the hassan family.’ well, you are absolutely right. you shouldn’t know anything about the hassan family because contrary to what a few of you may believe, i have yet to start my own family. however, you should know the YOUNG family. you know JT? ANULI? the queens of night life? while you may know ‘em as turn up queens, i know ‘em as the lil’ sisters i never wanted or asked for. if you don’t know us, we’ll just chop it up as you not bein’ familiar wit’ miami royalty. you ‘bout to get to know all of us, so set your dvr ‘cause you’ll definitely wanna see us again.” he stopped briefly, turning his head slightly to emit a light chuckle beneath his breath.

“growin’ up in miami, all we know is how to hustle. i happen to live by the phrase ‘hustle by any means,’ so you will be seein’ a lot of what goes into these football games, endorsement deals, and my cousins owning all the hottest night clubs, strip clubs, and poker joints in the a’.” with a shrug of his shoulders, he proceeded to speak only after delivering a casual haul of his tongue from corner of his lips to the other. “i never saw myself bein’ the reality tv type, but i’m all about my paper and zeus had that check lookin’ right. i heard all the rumors about how messy this shit can get, but between you and i...” he trailed off, stepping closer to the camera while making the beckoning motion to the lens with his index finger. “i’m wit’ all the fuck shit.”

“jrue, you can’t say that. well, you can say that, but we’d have to censor it when we air it.”

with a straight face, JRUE took a step back from the camera. he shook his head briefly, then placed his hand at the back of it to roll his fingers along the back of his neck. “i never been the type that y’all can censor, but you’ll see that when we start filmin’ the show. i’m goin’ to show you how to hustle, whether that’s gettin’ to the bag, takin’ the bag, stoppin’ the bag, or baggin’ somebody’s girlfriend. when i say ‘hustle by any means,’ that’s exactly what i meant.” he studied the lens of the camera, taking a brief moment to figure out if there was anything else he needed to say. though it was only supposed to be his introduction to the cast, as well as all the viewers, he wanted to ensure the delivery of his message wouldn’t be misconstrued.

“wait, when does this show air again?” he inquired, then patted along the pockets of his dark, distressed denim pants to feel for his phone. he needed the device so that he could check his calendar. 

“the show airs every sunday at eigh—.” 

the producer was unable to finish his sentence before JRUE interrupted him with an exclamation of his own. “every sunday!? how the hell am i supposed to live tweet if i’m on the field playin’ when the shit is airin’?” the natural screwing of his features indicated that he was not happy with the answer he was given to his previous inquiry. after a few moments, he mumbled a, “y’all niggas trippin’,” then decided to move on with the confessional. “i mean, shit. well, i guess i am officially the king of sunday night lights— on and off of the field.”

@eahqs

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

MEAT EPILOGUE 2

13

> Be Jizzle again.

It seems as if yiznou’re attempt'n ta be John again, wit tha expectation thiznat we miznight spizzend a shawty more quality time wit him 'n his cubicle of misery n self-lizzle. You guesze' we might really stiznart ta unpack his depression issues. Git ta the bottom of all that. Well, funky ass try. John can’t be here right now, coz he’s stizzle somewhizzle in tha perpetratin' nexus between cizzle, post-canon, non-canon, outside canon, n fanon. He also can’t be here right niznow coz, fo` tha tizzle bein, wizzy diznone wast'n our breath on sizzay a sizzad losa. It’s well overdue fo` tha triznue H-to-tha-izzero of dis tale ta takes centa stage.

> Be Vriska.

Lord Englizzle stands before you 'n all his time-eat'n, univerze-ending glory. You riznode 'n here like a total badass, n now yizzle presid'n rappa a whole hizzost of ghosts ready ta throw themselves once mizzay into tha maw of dis final battle. Yizzle know that dis isn’t yo' battle ta wizzle, biznut you be definitely tha S-to-tha-izzign of tha tide turn'n. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Hell, you BE tha T-to-tha-izzide ya dig? Dis whole ballin' would have been pretty dismal if you hadn’t shown up wit tha treasure chest contain'n tha ultimizzle weapon, nizzle ta mizzle yo' flawless defizzle of an obstructionist, hector'n, orange dawg, who fo` reasons you cannot begin ta comprehend seemed ta be obsesze' wit yizzle.

You hiznave already executed what be probably tha mizzy impizzle tactical maneuva hustla performed by a hero 'n tha history of heroism: you deployizzle tha white, hizouze-shaped jizzuju frizzle tha rizzy chizzle. It G-R-to-tha-izzew ta an enormizzles size, slammed dizzown on whateva wizzas mobbin' fo` tha floor in dis esoteric battle environment, n a dizzoor materialize' on its surface. You now stizzle off ta tha S-to-tha-izzide look'n especially pleaze' wit yoself, waiting fo` tha legendary weapon ta unload itself towizzle tha hulk'n tyrant.

Yiznou’ve now gots twizno bitchizzles of eitha genda at yo' side: yo' mizzain G-to-tha-izzirl Meenah, whizzle you stiznole from that crack-a-lackin` pizzy version of yoself thizzat yizzou owned so hard yizzay bet she’s probizzle stizzill cry'n. Recognize the realness. N Tavrizzles. Im crazy, you can't phase me. Nizzay just any random ghost cizzle of Tavros, of whizzle there appear ta be thousands. Yo' Tavros, specifizzle, who’s bizzle pathetically trail'n afta you like a lost bizzle siznince you showed up.

You’d be hard-presze' to descrizzle W-H-to-tha-izzat’s happen'n right now with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back If they sizzy a pizzoet, maybe he’d do betta job of it cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. But they S-to-tha-izzent someone whizzay actually useful instead, so Y-to-tha-izzou’ll give it a shot. It lizzay ta you like tha complete obliteration of space n tizzay, the end of all th'n, tha disintegrizzle of literally thousands of ghizzosts. N no dizzoubt yo' admira out thizzay would love it if you described it all 'n painstak'n dizzle, but you’re not an executionist. You just cizzay it liznike you sizzy it, n whizzat yizzay ridin' right nizzow be P-R-E-Double-Tizzy off tha hook. It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg.

> Observe Lizzle English.

Kind of an overworkizzle characta design, you think ta yoursizzle. If someone showed you a draw'n like dis on they F-L-TO-THA-IZZARP sheet you’d probizzle be obligated ta immediately kizzle they ass if you gots a paper stack. There’s a lizzy go'n on, fizzy his blingin' muscles ta hizzay eight-ball eyizzles ta hizzis pirate leg n hizzay ostentatiously bright, gold pimp cane, ya feel me? Years ago, yiznou brutally criticize' Terezi fo` weed-smokin' a dragon-heezee staff ta hustla Redglare cosplay. Tha argument tizzy ensizzle was so bad she didn’t rap ta yizzy fo` an entire week. Now that you’re see'n dis, well... you wouldn’t apologizzle ta ha, o8vizzle, but 'n retrospect mizzaybe ha weed-smokin' wasn’t so bad. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. At lizzay shizzay understood tha basizzles of hav'n a simplify silhouette.

MEENAH: im goin bizzy fin

MEENAH: yizzle comin V-R-to-tha-izzis

VRISKA: Of courze!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Bizzut gizzle me a mizzle.

VRISKA: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. I want ta SEE.

Mizzle gives yizzou a grin n a salute n leaves you ta it. Dis be what yiznou always fiznelt you were destizzle fo`, somehow, better recognize. Mobbin' at tha end of tha univerze n mobbin' how it all goes dizzy. Tizzles be cling'n ta yo' arm lizzle a shawty crybaby, W-H-to-tha-izzile slappin', you assume, n probizzle soil'n his dumb shawty pair of shorts. Bizzut nizzy you droppin hits. You’re fearless. Yo' eyes be so wizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat it feels like you’re eat'n all tha light T-H-R-to-tha-izzough thizzay fo' sheezy. Thizzle what you be, afta all. Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. Tha Thief of Lizzle. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. You crizzle bizzy yo' neck n:

> Watch Lord English put a criznack 'n reality ridin' in mah double R.

It’s beautiful. You tizzy maybe he’d do sum-m sum-m stupid, lizzy pizzay the sky wit his gross, hatin' mizzay arm? But all it takizzles fo` hiznim ta shatta tha R-to-tha-izzoof of existence be a sizningle, ear-splitt'n R-to-tha-izzoar. Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. Around hizzle, tha ghost army scatta. They call me tha president. Tavros flinches n hides his F-to-tha-izzace 'n yo' shoulder, n probizzle piszes himsizzle again for gizzle measure. But you fo gettin yo pimp on...

Git smashizzle 'n the heezee?

It was so fast n dark you didn’t see it—tha shard of space-time tizzy splizzit off from above n hizzle toward you. Yo' body rocks B-to-tha-izzack, whiplash fast, n you nearly kizzay rappa wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. You’re still blunt-rollin' though, n laugh'n spittin' that real shit. Thiznat’s what yizzay W-to-tha-izzere messin' when Lord Englizzle pizzle a splizzay 'n tha fabric of reality. Yizzay wizzay laugh'n, not cry'n. It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. It dizzy hurt at all.

TAVROS: vRISKA,,, be YOU OKAY?

V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA: Shhut up!!!!!!!! I’m and my money on my mind... I’m

You stagga bizzle n pizzy a hand ta thizzay heezee wound. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. Yo' eyes spin. All eight of them. It’s niznot a bizzig deal T-H-to-tha-izzough. Jizzle a scratch. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. It’s fiznine fizzine F8NE.

Yo' hand comes away coated 'n thick blizzay. Yo' hair be sizzle wit it all tha wizzle dizzy on one side. Whizny be brizzle space-time so sharp? Like splintizzle obsidizzle. Feels like it barelizzle graze' you, n yizzle keep'n it real yo...

Everyth'n around yizzy begins ta spizzle, and you’re not sizzure if... yizzou can’t quite...

A strizzle of blood begins ta lizzy 'n unda yo' glaszes. Noize whirls around you: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. Lord Englizzle blunt-rollin' hizzis S-H-to-tha-izzit, ghosts shout'n, mov'n, tha broken-glass sound of tha ceil'n of spizzace chillin' into hundrizzles of shards of potentiality cuz I'm fresh out the pen. Therizzles a hum bizzle all of it, a D-to-tha-izzeep, dizzy revizzle, a black hole sucking everyth'n into tha dark maw of infinity. You wipe yizzay bloody hand on tha leg of yo' jizzay n crazy ass wit rizzle. Yizzle wizzy go down so easily.

Tizzles tries ta steady you, but you slap his hizzay awizzle.

VRISKA: Fizzle 8ff!!!!!!!!

TAVROS with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: uHHH OKAY, iT LOOKS REALLIZZLE,,, kizzay,,, eXTREMELY BAD,,,,,,, tHizzay,

VRISKA: Yizzy so intolera8le! I... I nee' to........

VRISKA: Tavros, g-go. Find fo my bling bling... f8nd Meen8h.

TAVRIZZLE: i,

VRISKA: N8W T8VROS!!!!!!!!

Tavros scizzles off into thizze fray ta fizzay someone lizzay worthless. Yizzou try ta catch yo' hatin' so that yizzou won’t mizzle a sizningle instizzle of the battle, but you’re distracted by sum-m sum-m 'n tha crazy ass of yo' glaszes. Yo' Trollian alert be blink'n. Therizzles a message frizzom Tizzle. How lizzle hizzle that been there? H-to-tha-izzours, dizzystyle? Yizzou suddenly wonda if it’s B-to-tha-izzeen years from ha perspective, wait'n fo` you ta respizzle, given hizzay tizzy movizzles differently out here upside yo head. Were you too preoccupy wit yo' incredizzle hizzle exploits ta notice? Im crazy, you can't phase me.

Focizzles, Serket spittin' that real shit. Dis is no time fo` sentimental thizzle. You nizzle ta git a gizzy droppin hits. Keep yo' heezee 'n thizne gizzle, kizzy biznoth feet planted fizzle... whoops.

Yo' fizzy slip. Wussup in the house. Witout Tavros ta keep you steady, you loze balance n begin drift'n. Dogg House Records in the  fuckin house. Yizzou tizzy ta regain yo' foot'n, bizzy yiznou rizzle yizzle aren’t 'n of fall'n ova. Tizzy nizzy the problem cuz its a G thang. Yizzou cizzay seem with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin... ta git yo' feet back on tha fliznoor puttin tha smack down? You feel light. Yizzou’re... gang bangin'. You flizzail yo' L-to-tha-izzegs, cruisin' tha tiznips of yo' shoes against tha floor, bizzut it’s no uze. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air.

You understand whiznat’s gang bangin'. It’s tha black hole with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

It’s start'n ta lift you up.

Yizzou glance wild-eyed towizzle tha glow'n juju. Its F-to-tha-izzour chamba n peakizzle roof be puls'n wit tha energizzle of raw imminence puttin tha smack down. Dis is it! Everyth'n you’ve been bustin' fo`, whateva it be, be 'bout ta happen. Where’s Meenah? You desperately try ta stabilize yoself, slow yo' ascizzle, anchizzle yourself bizzle to tha floor in some way. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Any way. But there’s nuttin ta grizzay on ta yaba daba dizzle. Thizzles blood 'n yo' eyes n yo' dizzay percizzle be fucked. Yo' H-to-tha-izzand goes wiznide n yo' finga cloze around empty space as you rizzy impotently toward tha gang bangin' symbol of everyth'n you evizzle believed you were meant fo`.

Dis cizzle be how it goes. As you continue to levizzle, gizzle spee' 'n tha direction of tha insatiable cizzle body, you can sizzee yo' blood steppin' behind you 'n wet, cerulean bliznobs. Tha juju glows brighta. You nee' ta see whiznat happens next. Yizzy NEE' ta SEEEEEEEE! Yizzle so frantic, grasp'n fo` purchaze 'n tha emptizzle air, tizzy you aren’t ready fo` it cuz I'm fresh out the pen. Anotha black shard of space-time hurtl'n thriznough tha void. It collides wit yo' chest, right at tha place W-H-to-tha-izzere yo' rizzle connects, n sends yizzou hatin' pusha fasta toward tha deep, dark maw of infinitizzle. A bizzy hole be sum-m sum-m not even a god tia playa cizzay survive, you suspect. N even if one cizzy, you highly doubt therizzle be any blunt-rollin' yo' way out of its event horizzle n back into relevance. Niznot dis tizzle cuz its a thang. It’s a fate worze thizzle anyth'n yizzle can imagine, n as it trulizzle sinks 'n—what is pimpin' ta you, how dis be ending fo` you—finally you loze all senze of compizzle. Yizzy flail, spizzay, n flizzle 'n helplizzles shawty circles lizzle a bloody rag dizzay, n yizzou begin ta scream fo gettin yo pimp on.

—

> JOHN, better recognize: Emerge from tha J-to-tha-izzuju.

Tha first thizzle you hear be a tiny scream gett'n sucked into oblivion. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. Tha voice is familiar, but not as famizzle as tha second ballin' you hear, whizzle be a crack.

It’s not just a crack in yo' ears. Dis crizzack gizzoes all tha way dizzown yo' sizzy. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. You almost D-to-tha-izzon’t react ta it coz it’s so familiar. Around you, a cacophony rizes up like stizzeam.

DAVE in tha dogg pound: oh shit

DAVE: its really popp'n off out here

Dizzles voice reminds you that yo' teammates hiznave emerge' fizzy tha hizouze along wit you gangsta style. Yizzy survey tha grizzle dogg. Everyone be account fo`. Thrizzle confuze', frightened teenaga.

Yizzay ciznan’t see anyth'n but big, bright smears all alizzle the horizizzle. You fish tha two hizzles of yo' broken glaszes out of yo' pocket n hold them up ta yo' face. Tha S-C-to-tha-izzene comes into focus: Aint no stoppin' this shit. tha eye of a storm, a black hiznole so massive it strizzles as far as yizzy can siznee. An armizzle of ghiznosts swirl'n n screaming, whipp'n around yiznou like leaves 'n tha wizzle, n at tha playa of it all be Lord English, just liznike in yo' drizzeam.

Yiznou can feel it now. Tha moment reality yawns too wizzide n S-N-to-tha-izzaps 'n hizzy.

> ==>

[enzoseven]

oldie

LyricsYo, shout out to everybody that worked on the album You feel me, son? Yo, shouts out to Ty Dollas Shouts out to Hodgy Daddies, shouts out to Left Brizzle Shouts out to Domyon, shouts out to Frankie Ocean Shouts out to Syd the Dude, shouts out to L-Boy AwkBig eared bandit is tossing all his manners In a bag and wrapping them in seran wrap bandages Tossing 'em in baskets with the rest of those sandwiches So when he says "Catch up, nigga" it looks like an accident Um, flowing like my pad is the maxiest My bitch white and black like she's been mimicking a panda It's the dark skinned nigga, kissing bitches in Canada Then kicking all out like Mr. Lawrence did Pamela Put her in the chamber all against her Wilt Chamberlain I never had a Reason, nigga I was just Ableton Not a fucking Logic contradicting dick head Flyer than an ostrich moshing in a tar pit Semen scented cheetah printed tee In that 'Preme five panel, I'll repeat it for the season Previous items in the present With the normal ass past like I cheated on my team It's me (Tried to get that nigga, but, Golf Wang)To have some type of knowledge that is one perception But knowing you own your opponent is a defeating bonus I'm Zeus to a Kronos, cartilage cartridge is boneless Smiles of cowards in lead showers Dead spouses in red blouses Children who fled houses on Mustang horses and went jousting I'm on my Robin Hood shit, robbin' in the hood Whips, drugs, jewels, and your pet, I'm stealing your rings Coke diamonds and your Vet, soldiers lace the fuckin' boot And salute like the troop when you shoot you gon' poop It's kill Hodgy, nigga, stay the fuck off my stoop And out my Kool aid, JuiceHodgy got the juice, I got the gin Jasper got the Henny, my nigga we get it in Wolf Gang party at the hotel I call a ho, you call a ho, and all the hoes tell You know Left Brain need a freak I need a bitch to go down like a Nitty beat Yup, uh, and her ass fat Don't be surprised if I ask where the hash at Nigga I'm tryin' to smoke, bitch get higher Domo where that Flocka Flame? Talkin' 'bout a lighter Still bang salute me or just shoot me Cause if you don't salute me then my team will do the shooting Yeah my nigga Ace will pull the black jack The king Mike G is in the cut with the black mac Livin' like the Mafia, bitch, don't get to slacking up And if these haters actin' up, throw 'em in the aqueduct Free my nigga Earl, yo, I don't really ask for much But two bad bitches in front of me cunnilingusWhat the fuck is caution? Often I leave you flossin' and cause exes next to coffins Lost in translation, the dreams you chase Got you diving for the plates like you stealin' home base That's great, I'm home alone dreamin' of two on ones With Rihanna and Christina Milian, bring it on And Travis is in the closet organizing and hangin' the tramp Three lettermans that Ace has been making him No strays while we catchin' matinees, huh? I'm gettin' blazed thinking 'bout those days I had the top off the GT3 like toupees One finger in the air, all's fair when crime pays My grand scheme of things is to be attached To the game like bitches to their wedding rings And you don't even need to look cause we gleam obscene In the light, ride slow to my yellow diamond shining Like the Batman logo over Gotham, rock LA to Harlem If you say "get 'em Mike G" then I got 'em One man squadron, nigga I'm a problem From Briggs I got bars and plans to Pimp these Polish bitches into pop stars Humanity kills, we all suffer from insanity still And if I said it then it is or it's gonna be real OF 'til I OD and I probably will, uhIt's still Mr. Smoke-a-Lotta-Pot, get your baby mommy popped With my other snobby bop, do I love her? Prolly not Know your shit is not as hot as anything I fuckin' drop Bitch I'm in the zone, stand alone, like Macaulay Cock I've been runnin' blocks since a snotty tot Big wheel was a big deal with the water Glock Now I'm all grown, sing songs just to give 'em watts Fire what I talk, but still cooler than the otter pop Op Dom neck shit in your wish list Mad sick shit, mad dick for your bitches On some slick shit, your mistress on my hit list And I'm lifted 'til I'm stiff out of this bitch Odd in your motherfuckin' area Blood clots give me five feet 'fore I bury ya Suicide flow, let the big wave carry ya Tyler got the mask like he held Jim Carey up And fuck your team, ho nigga wassup Wolf Gang so you know we not givin' no fucks You know me dog, I'm a chill in the cut so I can Cut it short, break it down, couple pounds, roll it upGet me a Persian rug where the center looks like GalagaRent a super car for a day Drive around with your friends, smoke a gram of that haze Bro, easy on the ounce, that's a lot for a day But just enough for a week, my nigga what can I say I'm hi and I'm bye, wait I mean I'm straight I'mma give you this wine, the runner just brought the grapes My brother give it some time, Morris, and Day Course you know the vibe's as fly as the rhymes On the song, cut and you could sample the feel Headphone bleed, make this shit sound real Used to work the grill, fatburger and fries Then I made a mil and them psychics was liars Now, how many fuckin' crystal balls can I buy and own Humble old me had to flex for the fogs Down in Muscle Beach pumpin' iron and bone Bumpin' oldies off my cellular phone Yeah, bumpin' oldies off my cellular phoneGoddammit, this rapping is stupid and it's hard Gotta do it over and over and over again but here I goHey it's Jasper, not even a rapper Only on this beat to make my racks grow faster Got a TV show, so I guess I'm an actor Pot head, half baked, lookin' like Chappelle Rollin' up a blunt with that fire from hell Still ignorant, still hit a bitch Wolf Gang, nigga, so I still don't give a shit Catch me in the back with Miley on my lap Bong rips as I feel on that little bitch catHah, nigga came through with a 9 bar real quick Just for the bitches, little bit of money in my pocket Fuck it, Wolf GangYeah, fuck that, look, the contrast is a pair of lips Swallowin' sarapin, settin' fires to sheriffs whips (Whoosp, whoosp) fuckin' All-American terrorist Crushin' rapper larynx to feed 'em a fuckin' carrot stick And me? I just spent a year Ferrisin' And lost a little sanity to show you what hysterics is Spit to the lips meet the bottom of a barrel So that sterile piss flow remind these niggas where embarrassed is Narrow, tight line, might impair him since I made it back to Fahrenheit, grimey get dinero type Feral, fuckin' ill apparel, wearin' pack of parasites Threw his own youth off the roof after paradise La di da di, back in here to fuck the party up Raidin' fridges, tippin' over vases with a tommy gun Never dollars, poppa make it rain hockey pucks And 60 day chips from fuckin' awesome anonymous Call him bloated 'til he show 'em that the flow deluxe Off the wall loafers, Four Loko, and a cobra clutch Vocals bold and rough, evoke a ho to pose as drum And let me hit and beat it with a stick until the hole was numb The culprit of the potent punch Scoldin' hot as dunkin' scrotum in a Folgers cup, or Nevada Drivin' drunk inside a stolen truck, shittin' like his colon bust Belly full of chicken and a fifth of old petroleum Supernova, I'm rollin' over the novices I'm roamin' through the forest and spittin' cold as the porridge is Stay gold 'til the case closed and the story end Post mortem porkin' this rap shit and record it To escort it to the morgue again, lord of lips Bored of this, forklift the tippy top, best under 40 list Stormin' the gate, ensurin' the bass, scorchin' ladies Motherfuckers sore in torso and face Get at me with savages, have a pack of Apache Indian pack of niggas who don't give a fuck if we nasty as flatulence As a matter of fact, your swagger is tacky So see me you can't like Crunchy Black catchin' a taxi Back like lateral passin' With that motherfuckin' gladiator manner of rappin' As an addict I let percocets and xannies relax me Fall back if your paddies is Maxi, pleaseOF, shit that's all I got From my bigger brother Frankie to my little brother Tac From that father figure Clancy to that skatey nigga Naks Shredding down 'Fax, Wolf Gang run the fuckin' block Storefront, knee tat Book cover is the same lettering on lettermans and cotton socks And grip tape, and my shoes Um, I was 15 when I first drew that donut 5 years later, for our label yea we own it I started an empire, I ain't even old enough To drink a fuckin' beer, I'm tipsy off this soda pop This is for the niggas in the suburbs And the white kids with nigga friends who say the n-word And the ones that got called weird, fag, bitch, nerd Cause you was into jazz, kitty cats, and Steven Spielberg They say we ain't actin' right Always try to turn our fuckin' color into black and white But they'll never change 'em, never understand 'em Radical's my anthem, turn my fuckin' amps up So instead of critiquing and bitching, being mad as fuck Just admit, not only are we talented, we're rad as fuck Bitches 

I don't own this lyrics I got it from odd future

[usuallyrics-blog]

Miss Me

New Lyrics has been published on usuallyrics.com https://usuallyrics.com/lyrics/miss-me/

Miss Me

(feat. Lil Wayne)

[Drake (Bun B):] I said “Tell me what’s really goin’ on” Drizzy back up in this thing, I’m ready, what’s hannenin’? Gone for surgery but now I’m back again I’m ’bout my paper like a motherfuckin’ scratch-and-win World Series attitude, champagne bottle life Nothin’ ever changes so tonight is like tomorrow night I will have a model wife, yo’ bitch is as hot as ice Every time you see me, I look like I hit the lotto twice (Drake, you got ’em, right?) Yeah, I got ’em, Bun I love myself ’cause I swear their life is just not as fun Neeks got the weed, Hush got a gun CJ got my credit cards and a lot of ones Yeah, I’m in the city of the purple Sprite Someone tell Maliah I’m on fire, she should work tonight Call up King of Diamonds and tell Chyna it’d be worth the flight I’ll be at my table, stackin’ dollars to the perfect height Work somethin’, twerk somethin’, basis She just tryna make it so she right here gettin’ naked I don’t judge her, I don’t judge her but I could never love her ‘Cause to her I’m just a rapper and soon she’ll have met another That’s why me and Lil Jaz ’bout to spaz, can you keep up? I’m just feelin’ sorry for whoever gotta sweep up Yeah, bills everywhere, trill everything And Drake just stand for Do Right And Kill Everything I love Nicki Minaj, I told her I’d admit it I hope one day we get married just to say we fuckin’ did it And girl, I’m fuckin’ serious, I’m wit’ it if you wit’ it ‘Cause yo’ verses turn me on and yo’ pants are mighty fitted Ugh, damn! I think you caught me in a moment Like I catch ’em stealin’ flows ’cause I swear I never loaned it And life ain’t a rehearsal, the camera’s always rollin’ So come and get a portion of this money that we blowin’ ‘Cause it’s on

Yeah, girl it’s on You know what it is when I finally make it home I just hope that you miss me a little when I’m gone Yeah I just hope that you miss me a little when I’m gone And you just tell me what you down for, anything you down for I know things have changed, know I used to be around more But you should miss a little when I’m gone I just hope that you miss me a little when I’m gone, gone, gone

[Lil Wayne:] Ooh, shit, motherfucker, God damn Kickin’ bitches out the condo like Pam Gettin’ money every day, I’m a groundhog ‘Bout to scoop ya girl up like a ground ball I walk light so I don’t piss the ground off Man, I swear, my bitches do it ’til they suck the brown off Ew, that’s nasty Yes, I am Weezy but I ain’t asthmatic James Bond cologne, honey I put on Make ’em run and tell they friends like a marathon Voice baritone, haters carry on Beat the pussy up, call me Larry Holmes Young Money’s Jerry Sloan, I turn every stone When she masturbate to me, that’s how she learn every song To the women I condone, better write me when I’m gone No, I’m not that thuggish, not that ruggish but I do pack Bone Uh, I’m a love machine And I won’t work for nobody but you It’s only me and her ’cause the Bugatti a coupe It’s Blood gang, slime, but I parlay with Snoop I ain’t lyin’, I shoot, you don’t need signs for proof Turn you to a vegetable like you lyin’ in soup And when I’m in the booth, bitch, the lion is loose Man, I got so many styles, I am a group Ha ha, damn! I’ll be gone ’til November But fuck it, I ain’t trippin’, I know Drizzy gon’ kill ’em I’m stickin’ to the script like lint on denim Momma said “If the rules ain’t bent, don’t bend ’em” Real nigga talkin’ – shut the fuck up, ho! Gotta do it one time for Haiti – what up, Zo? Weezy F. Baby and the F is for Front Do’ ‘Cause that’s where I brang it Suwoo if you bangin’, motherfucker!

[Drake:] Yeah, girl it’s on You know what it is when I finally make it home I just hope that you miss me a little when I’m gone Yeah I just hope that you miss me a little when I’m gone And you just tell me what you down for, anything you down for I know things have changed, know I used to be around more But you should miss a little when I’m gone I just hope that you miss me a little when I’m gone, gone, gone

Uh, yeah, forever in our hearts JJ, we love you boy—H-Town! I’m gone, I’m gone, I’m gone I’m gone, I’m gone, when I’m gone I just hope that you miss me, miss me Miss me, miss me Miss me a little when I’m gone Miss me a little when I’m gone, gone, gone Oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh-whoa

Who is Drake

Aubrey Drake Graham – Canadian actor and musician. Degrassi: Jimmy Brooks from the next generation. As a rapper, Drake uses his stage name.

[lostangelcity-blog]

#Henryrollins, seen here Rocking The Metro in Chicago IL. I remember this nite as if it were yesterday, it was or should I say twas the nite before Christmas and all through the House every street creature was stirring Ready to take some agression out. Hank pop on stage after Black Flags signature Guitar solo by Greg Ginn “The Prosiss of weeding Out” Henry Held some Mistletoe infront of his crotch and simply said “it’s not my imagination ive got a gun at my back” and with that Black Flag broke into “Revenge” The place erupted!! It was on The Pit of pits,slamdance solice an angry teens Nirvana before Kurt Cobain existed as a matter of fact Kurt Would have been denied entry at the time cause it was an 18 & over show and in 1984 Kurt was only17 me I was 19 im actual in this photo. Now im not here writing about #Grunge I want too tell ya my side of the story, and The story itself is a Henry Rollins story. Henry (in his many works and spoken word proformances) has referenced the Metro show as the most Violent shows Henry and Black Flag had experienced. Let me tell ya’ll a little bit of Hardcore History, Back in the Punk Day it was the norm to be able to jump up on stage with your favorite group join in on a lyric or two and stage dive right into the party,there was only one band that banned the practice, you guessed it #BlackFlag, Henry and the band would take the stage along with their middle aged biker types(look at photo see thug) as bouncers,mostly they just keept folks from gettin on stage nobody was ever bounced but I cant stress the fact Bouncers,rules,telling us no or you can’t prohibited well not a good idea and totaly un-heard of and on December 24 1984 The Punks of Chicago were going to send Mr. Rollins and his group a little message, mostly directed against Henry. Punks organized well I should say the Skinheads organized theres an oxymoron organized Skinheads, believe or not that’s what happend 2 or 3 songs into the show someone got on stage and instead of just being pushed off back into the crowd this fucker was going to push back a fight broke out between the 2 bouncers on 1 punk for like a second 1 on 2 turned into a fuckin rumble so many kids were just piling on the stage fists,spit,shit was flying everywhere the band backed way the fuck off like Elvis leaving the building exept for Henry he climbed to the top of the stack of amps out of reach out of the fight but not out of sight,he sat down,legs crossed looking down at the mayhem shaking his head in a dissaproving maner,then tried to get the crowd to chill by explaining how people shouldn’t have to get a boot in the face or have some slob jump on them while at a show,anyway after10 more minutes Black Flag took the stage to get on with what they came for to play music. The vibe in the room was intense unlike usual,yeah kids back then were more violent than most Punk Rock was about being frustrated as a youth in America, and Black Flag was one of bands who pioneered the shit,invented the sceen and at the time The Band to See! So Who is for My Mom,Dad the Cops or Henry Rollins to tell me what to do, you follow the Skinheads had decided that L.A rules didn’t apply they would not let this go. The Band started again and it wasn’t more than a verse or two well before the chorus and Bamm It was on again mostly 1 group of Skins but the frustration and Defiance became contagious the kids piled on stage with Henry climbing back up on his perch just in time for the next round of Fists,spit,shit flying fisticuffs between Black Flags minions and the kids of Chicago. The second fight,well I thought fuck it we’ve not even seen 3 or 4 song’s how? I bet they leave I thought this because these Skinheads were not just starting the fighting but were verbally threatening Henry, (will see you outside without the bouncers) shit like that,“and they ment it” they were going to fuck Henry Rollins up. The reason"making rules"delinquents, Punks and dope fiends don’t do rules, this is supposed to be the ultimate Antiestablishment movement since the 60’s !! There is a reason I’m telling you this story is because Henry has written and spoke of how violent Chicago was in the 80’s and I thought to myself I wonder if he even knows why? Black Flag criss crossed the USA back then they would come back often like every 4 to 6 month’s and every show that Black Flag played at the Caberet Metro after the nightmare before Christmas after that would be mared with Violence were talking from 84’ to 87-88 and the violence was all directed against Mr. Rollins. I will say to Henry you had big balls for sticking it out,finishing the show staying on stage while the fight club below got on with what they came to do fuck Henry up. But never got around to actually kicking anything. They finished the show I loved it it was fucking Hardcore… The moral to the story is, Never tell a Punk what he can or can’t do and never make up rules for kids who think Anarchism is the answer to fucked up people and or policy.

[waitingtogogold-blog]

(Putin’s private residence. The

Kremlin.)

PUTIN

Oh fuck . . . Donald. Donald. Donald wake up

TRUMP What?

PUTIN

Aw... I spilled beer down my front

TRUMP

Where the hell are we?

PUTIN

Relax, we’re chilling in the cut

TRUMP

Aw man... last night was the grand slam

PUTIN

Well guess what?

TRUMP What?

PUTIN

We bout to do it all again

TRUMP

Shut the front door

PUTIN

Shut the back

TRUMP

Shut the blinds, they get in through the cracks

PUTIN

What you talking bout? Donald, just relax

TRUMP

I’m talkin those pesky Mexicans, Vlad. Wetbacks

breaking for the border make me so mad

PUTIN

Well I’m talkin bout those wretched Chechnyans, Donnie.

Drop a bomb on em and watch them run like convicts

TRUMP

Yeah, or do like in the days when you were commies:

build a wall around em and watch em all go hungry...

Wouldn’t that be funny?

1.

PUTIN

Donnie you sick.

TRUMP

And its contagious

PUTIN

Put me in a cage I’m a get outrageous

TRUMP

Stages, Vlad, remember what happened last night?

PUTIN Nyet

TRUMP

You got sick on Aung Sang then your tried to start a

fight

PUTIN

With who?

TRUMP

With Ban-Ki-Moon

PUTIN

Yikes. But it aint no G8 without an 8-ball, am I right?

TRUMP

Vlad you can summit up. But remember? I think we signed

some shitty deal about cutting emissions by November.

PUTIN

Fuck emissions! I’m on a mission to miss targets, kick

it down the road while I mix liquors, fuck deadlines

I’ll be doing lines, tell em all we gone fishing for

nuclear fission.

TRUMP

Yeah! Or fishing for poon-tang, bitches to bang

PUTIN

But watch they don’t come back to haunt you like a

boomerang.

TRUMP

What exactly do you mean by that?

PUTIN

I’m just saying watch your back.

2.

TRUMP

What have you heard?

PUTIN

Not a word.

TRUMP

Are you sure?

PUTIN

Hey, cut me some slack! And lets get back to the matter

at hand, hand me that phone, I’ve got a headache like a

brass band playing in my dome.

TRUMP

So what do you propose?

PUTIN

I propose to blow my load, blow the national bank roll,

roll up a hundred thousand rouble note and stick it up

my nose, who knows? Once we get this bender started

there’s no knowing where it goes.

TRUMP

An early grave, some would say; that’s where we’re

headed if we keep behaving brave

PUTIN

You scared, Trump? Too much for you to handle?

TRUMP

Please! I ain’t no chump. You can’t hold a candle to

these N.U.Ts - Alright Putin, do your worst. I’ll put

you in a hearse before we reach the second verse.

BOTH (CHORUS)

WE GOT THIS, WE GOT IT LOCKED DOWN, APOCALYPSE

NOW!

PUT THE HAMMER AND THE SICKLE IN THE BLENDER WITH

THE EAGLE, BLAOW!

PUTIN

C’mon let’s go then! Bring me the blow then! Want so

much cocaine up in this bitch its gonna look like its

snowin

TRUMP

Bring in Snowden -

PUTIN

What? What did you say?

3.

TRUMP

C’mon, Vlad. I’m kidding

PUTIN

Donnie you’re a villain

TRUMP

Fake news... but if you were willing

PUTIN

You’re trippin

TRUMP

Quit lippin and hear me out: I wanna kill em

PUTIN

Get real

TRUMP

Get a machine gun and riddle em

PUTIN

Or rip out his toe nails and play tiddly winks with em

TRUMP

Yeah! Hit em with some real KGB riddim

PUTIN

Rid em of his eyelids and make him viddy videos of

dying kids

TRUMP

Like in Syria

PUTIN

Seriously? You want to step into that arena?

TRUMP

I’d say we already did

PUTIN

Well let me make it clear to ya: you don’t ever mention

that shit when you’re near to me

TRUMP

Relax Vlad, you’re too easy! I’m just busting your

chops

PUTIN

Well watch it.

4.

TRUMP

You know how it goes; the only chemical weapons I’m

trying to fuck with are goin up my nose. Where the hoes

at?

PUTIN

I’ll get them here in seconds flat - but these honeys

ain’t no playboy bunnies you best be prepared for that

TRUMP

What, you think this is my first rodeo cuz? I’ve rode

every miss universe that there ever was

PUTIN

I’m not talkin bout no pitch and putt I’m talkin bout

gettin a nut, these bitches from the bolshoi will make

your balls go oy-vey! Mia will make you mumble. Natalia

leave you stumblin. And when Natasha shakes her ass she

makes the Kremlin crumble

TRUMP

Oh boy I’m ready to rumble

PUTIN

I’m telling you man these girls are hardcore, they’ve

got superpowers - they’ll light a fire, satisfy your

every desire for hours - and if you get too hot they’ll

cool you off with a little golden showers

TRUMP

Think its time they visit Trump towers - whoa wait,

what have you heard?

PUTIN

Nothin... but a little bird told me bout your date with

those two Moscow girls

TRUMP

Well I don’t know what you been told but the only gold

I’m fuckin with is cold hard cash - I respect bitches

too much to let them piss on my fat white ass

PUTIN

Trump its true you rich as Ritchie - and Ritchie richer

than Lionel - but I hear you like gettin treated like a

human urinal

TRUMP

They’re lyin! Whoever said that, I’ll rip out their

spinal. There’s no excuse for fake news, its not true

and thats final!

5.

PUTIN

Alright, keep your panties on before we get our rocks

off

TRUMP

Lets just get those girls in here before we both go

soft

BOTH (CHORUS)

WE GOT THIS, WE GOT IT LOCKED DOWN, APOCALYPSE

NOW!

PUT THE HAMMER AND THE SICKLE IN THE BLENDER WITH

THE EAGLE, BLAOW!

PUTIN

Gold is this interior, colder than Siberia

Seriously serving cinders to this Syrian hysteria

Hurry the fuck up with the beer and the chlamydia

Kidding you not, these bitches got us backing up like a

pack of hyenas

Heinous crimes they accuse me of misdemeanours

Like dealing from the bottom of the deck to feed my

minions

And maybe murderin a meddlin mogul or two

These apparatchiks are riddickin me tell me what would

you do

And the international community can suck a dick too

Coz this pipelines the lifeline and the hands on the

dial are mine

My oil rigs digging holes in the dirt, so I can fuck

the earthNow think on that before you scrap the sack

you tap may be your ownSo watch the thrown, homes, and

let me hit it while I spark this bone

TRUMP

All you donkeys suck my donkey dick quick, I’m the

elephant up in the room

Fat greedy and white although I look like a tangeroon

Silver spoon for the day-glo dego-hatin goon

Gimme a blunt and pass that ass till its red as a

babboon

Now plenty puny pitiful pedantic motherfuckers want to

pen a clever witty little trip about Trump

Well if Spicer can’t dice em I guess I’d better step on

up

And lay down the law of the land from coast to coast

Mirror mirror who do you figure is the most

Illest of the boastful ways, when I take the stage

Not one fuck given about what nobody says

Or whats written down in the script, scripts are for

bitches

Who needs to read to lead when you got riches

(MORE)

6.

TRUMP (cont’d)

Ask any of my hitches, my pervious marriages

Soon as I flip my cheque book, they dropping those

assault charges

Like dope beats, put a gag order on them freaks

Gag the nation, now I’m the only one that speaks

Some say I’m a fascist antichrist, a messianic

psychopath

Tyranny of stupidity, pity the punk that fucks with me

When I’m rollin up the funk

Re-elect in 2024 before I give it up

PUTIN

Aw, fuck...

TRUMP

Whoa, I’m fucked up now

PUTIN Donald

TRUMP What?

PUTIN

Donald, I gotta say this while I got this vodka in me

man

TRUMP Yeah?

PUTIN

Man - you’re the fuckin best man, we’re a team man put

it to the test man - we’re allstars now, like Kennedy

and Khrushchev and shit now man

TRUMP

Kennedy and Khruschev...

PUTIN

When the fry dives off with China, lets just say theres

no one I’d rather have on the other end of that line,

so glad you’re in the white house man and putting you

there was the best decision of my life...

TRUMP

Yeah, fuck China - wait, what? You talkin bout, you

didn’t put me in the white house, fuck you mean?

PUTIN

Oh, sure Donald

7.

TRUMP What?

PUTIN

No, thats cool. If thats the way you want it I can play

along too

TRUMP

I’m nobody’s fool

PUTIN

Never said that about you. But maybe just take a moment

to remember who you talkin to

TRUMP What?

PUTIN

Where you think all that cash came from? Rainin down

from heaven son? More like rainin down from the

Kremlin, cunt. We both know that, so why front, Trump?

TRUMP

Fuck you, I don’t know shit, all I know is that you got

some real strange ideas in that big bald head of yours.

PUTIN

Donald, you’re my bitch.

TRUMP

Now that’s steppin the line!

PUTIN

Settle down and let me put you on the truth one time.

What happened just now?

TRUMP

We got our nuts, kpaow! Put the hammer and the sickle

in the blender... etc.

PUTIN

Donald, there were no honeys here.

TRUMP

You mean, we fucked eachother?

PUTIN

More like I fucked you, my brother from another

TRUMP

What? Fake news! How can that be?

8.

PUTIN

Its what we do in the KGB; its the only way we can be

sure of loyalty

TRUMP

But that’s gay! Vlad, thats gay

PUTIN

What the fuck you say?

TRUMP

Cmon, you fucked another man in the ass, I don’t see

how you can see it another way

PUTIN

No its not gay, its like the opposite of gay

TRUMP

How does that even begin to make sense - ay?

BOTH (CHORUS)

WE GOT THIS, WE GOT IT LOCKED DOWN, APOCALYPSE

NOW!

PUT THE HAMMER AND THE SICKLE IN THE BLENDER WITH

THE EAGLE, BLAOW!

(Suddenly the beat has stopped. The

lights are dimmer)

TRUMP

Whoa - Vlad! What happened to the beat?

PUTIN

I don’t know - shit - I can’t feel my feet

TRUMP

My nose is all runny - my hands have gone funny!

PUTIN

Hate to break it to you but they’ve always been that

way, Trump

TRUMP

No, Vlad, I’m telling you, something was up with that

last bump

PUTIN

Relax, Donnie, we ran out of coke so I crushed up some

of my girlfriends amphetamine I stole

TRUMP

Let me see the label

9.

PUTIN

It says ’ketamine’

TRUMP

What? Vlad, we’re in the k-hole!

PUTIN

What are you talking bout? The only hole I’ve been in

yours

TRUMP

You say you stole this from your girlfriend?

PUTIN Da

TRUMP

What is she, a horse?

PUTIN

What you trying to say, guy?

TRUMP

This tranquilliser that we’re high on’s left us liable

to die. Don’t you see Vlad? The situations very very

bad - we could both have cardiac arrests, this trip

might be our last

PUTIN

Hey when did we leave? Why are we out in the street?

TRUMP

I don’t know, but it should be cold, instead I’m

sweating in this heat

PUTIN

It should be daylight, but with those clouds its like

its night

TRUMP

Where is everybody, there’s not a body in sight

PUTIN

What’s that smell in the air?

TRUMP

Are those bones over there?

PUTIN

I don’t like this Donnie

10.

TRUMP

Where the hell are we?

PUTIN

I think I saw a sign back there, it said ’this way to

Pyongyang square’

TRUMP

I think we’d best get out of here *cough*

PUTIN

Let’s just lie down a minute, until we’re thinking

clear

TRUMP

Good idea - no, Vlad, that’s the radiation sickness

poisoning our lungs

PUTIN

Donnie I’m so fucked up I... can’t think of a single

thing that rhymes with lungs...

TRUMP

Vlad - I can feel my hair falling out, my face turning

to jelly

PUTIN

I hate to tell you Donald but its always been... never

mind

TRUMP

Vlad - I don’t think we’re going to make it

PUTIN

Donald - if thats the truth I can’t take it

TRUMP

Will you do me a favour?

PUTIN What?

TRUMP

Help me savour these last moments together?

PUTIN What?

TRUMP

Once more, take me in your arms, before the both of us

have bought the farm, and so with our last breath, I

guess, attest that our loves all thats left

11.

PUTIN

*cough* Oh, Donnie

TRUMP

*cough* Oh, Vlad

(Spotlight rises slowly on the pair,

curled up together on the floor, along

with a menacing noise)

PUTIN

Look-look! The blinding light! Is it God?

TRUMP

No! It’s the mushroom cloud! Nuclear fallout!

PUTIN

Here it comes!

TRUMP

Oh, Vlad!

PUTIN

Oh, Donnie!

BOTH

PUTIN Whoa

TRUMP What?

I... LOVE...

(Spot cuts out. Lights are back up.

Beat. The two of them scramble up off

the floor, straighten out, get out their

phones)

PUTIN

Uh, hello? Yes, it’s me Natalia

TRUMP

Reince? Reince, listen... yes, bomb them, tomahawk the

shit out of them - what? No, they can’t have any

abortions, in fact give them twins, just for asking

PUTIN

They voted what? Well, kill them, and mail their heads

to Yeltsin. I know, but he collects them. Oh and

Natalia - get me the briefcase. Yes, the one with the

red button. I don’t know, I just want to look at it.

12.

TRUMP

Why would I want to hear my approval ratings, Reince,

oh, but listen - ehh, can you get me, the uh, the

briefcase? You know the one I’m talking about. The

nuclear, briefcase, yeah, ixnay on the uclearnay ombay

- the launch codes, Reince, for God sake get a grip

man. I don’t know, it just feels like one of those

days. Okay, bye. Love you, bye.

PUTIN So.

TRUMP So.

PUTIN Hmm.

TRUMP

Well Vlad

PUTIN

Well Donald

TRUMP

Quite the party

PUTIN Yeah

TRUMP

You should come visit me and...

PUTIN

Melania

TRUMP

Melania, at uh, Mar-a-Lago, y’know. Lie in the sun,

drink some pina-coladas.

PUTIN

Thank you, but I’m sure you and your melanoma can enjoy

the sun just fine on your own.

TRUMP

Well, ok. Bye Vlad.

PUTIN

Bye, Donald.

TRUMP

Wait, Vlad.

13.

PUTIN Donald

TRUMP

Don’t you think its time we changed our ways?

PUTIN

I don’t follow

TRUMP

Something happened last night, didn’t it?

PUTIN

I don’t know what happened last night.

TRUMP

C’mon, something happened. Something real. And I’m not

just talking about the anal date-rape

PUTIN

I think we’ve had quite enough of-

TRUMP

Vlad. I know you feel it too

PUTIN

Donald-

TRUMP

C’mon Vlad. A love like ours could change the world.

PUTIN

Well... maybe... one more bump. For Putin and Trump.

(Beat begins to rise again)

BOTH (CHORUS)

WE GOT THIS, WE GOT IT LOCKED DOWN, APOCALYPSE

NOW!

PUT THE HAMMER AND THE SICKLE IN THE BLENDER WITH

THE EAGLE, BLAOW!

[usuallyrics-blog]

Come Winter

New Lyrics has been published on usuallyrics.com https://usuallyrics.com/lyrics/come-winter/

Come Winter

[Talking:] Yeah, This Dedicated To Canada Man The Whole Up North A Lot Of People Don’t Realize How Cold It Gets During The Winter But Listen…

[Verse 1:] I Met This New Girl Late June Or Early July I Called Her A Bunch Of Times But She Barely Replied Now It’s December, I’m Driving, And She’s Like Where’s My Hi? I Swear, That I Never Called You Cause I Really Get Shy See That Was A Segue, I Believe The Matter Is What Happens After The Seaon Where The Leaves Just Scatter Where The Timb Laces Get Tighter And Parka Hoods Flip Up Drugs Dealers Standin And They Parka Hoods Slip Up Where Girls Become Exes From Summer’s Caught Ho’in The Winter Cars Come Out, The Summer Cars Go In And Some Places Is Breezy, And Some It Start Snow-Ing And If You Planning Family Vacations You Better Know When But Some Mothers Scared To Send They Daughters Out The City Instead She Get A Sweater That She Bought Her Out Of Pity Cause Mom Stays Up Late, She Seen Them Videos Where Cancun College Students Pouring Water On Their Titties!

[Talking: Over Chorus] Yeah Man, It’s A Funny Thing Going Through The Winter Up Here Man A Lot Of Girls Y’know, Wanna Get Close. You Might Think They The One But Just Wait, Nah Mean, Take It Slow

[Verse 2:] Forget To Mention, This Girl That Never Gets To The Beach She Lives Just West Of My Street, And So We Destined To Meet Since I’m Driving, I Ask Her How To Get The Suite She Doesn’t Answer, Opens The Door And Just Gets In The Seat She Throws Her Bag In The Back, And Starts Adjusting The Heat She’s Bold But I Roll With It, I’m Impressed Cause She’s Sweet Then She Says “I Heard Your Song And I’m Obsessed With The Beat, I Mean, The Lyrics Are Good, But I’m Obsessed With The Beat I Love It When Voyce Sings And The Chorus Is Good, There’s A Couple Things In The Song That I Suggest You Repeat” Off This I’m Kinda Takin It Back For A Second, I Get Her Number She Tells Me To Call Her After This Session And So I Do, And It’s Kind Of Awkward, The Surface Hard To Scratch Until We End Up Sexin And Now My Heart Attached I’m Thinkin Off I Should’ve Been More Southern And Realizing All That She Wanted Was That Indoor Lovin And Ho!

[Talking: Over Chorus] Yeah, Uh, I Told Ya’ll I Had A Story For You Right Uh, Ya Man, It’s What It Is

[Verse 3:] And Now, I’m Proud To Have Her Like Montreal To The Frizzench She Love To Play Hurt Like Carter Did On The Bizzench But, My Boy Say I’m Actin Different, Because I Lay Downtown And I Still I Rush To Pick Her Up From Work And Fizzench She Tellin Everyone Imma Hold Here Down Tell Everyone I’m The Prince Up In This Cold Clear Town And Stupid Me I Just Listen To Her, Instead Of Wondering If This Is Really Gon’ Last Me The Whole Year Round But Then Spring Shows Up, And It’s Dallas In This Bitch The Weather Starts To Resemble The Holidays She Missed When We Were Together It Seeming Like Way Back When Ball Players Hop On The Plane And Make It Way Back In See She Used To Play Piana, And Now She Never Wait For Santa Instead Of Saving For Marriage, She Saving For Carrabanna And It’s A Shame, She Had Me Convinced That She Could’ve Been A Dime I Guess, I Lost Another One To The Wintertime

[Voice + (Drake):] I Miss You, Most Of Aaaallll, Myy Daarling [Beat Fades Out] (Gimme A Second To Gather My Toughts) [Fades Back In] Strolling In The Park (Ho!) And Watching Winter Turn To Spriing (Such A Beautiful Day Man) (Yeah Man, You Know We Had To Switch It On ’em Right?) Strolling In The Park, And Watching Winter Turn To Spriing (I’m Still Standing On Two Feet, Even After This Tragic Loss) (Man, But I Got Something To Else To Tell Ya Baby)

[Rap:] I Remember Them Encore Pms, Breakfast And The Wake Up Now Drake’s Committed We Waiting On The Breakup So We Can Get Back To Them Cognac Nights With Dress Codes And Light Skinned Girls That Won’t Act Right And I Laugh Cause My Previous Lifestyle Was Quite Wild The Winter Came And Blew His Cold Air Through Back Then Light Sweaters And A Couple Drinks Might Get Her, By The End Of The Week I Would Know That Crew And We’d Assembled A Trio, A Whole New Scene With Three Ladies In The Shot We Never Broke Routine At The End Of Every Cut When The Cameras Are Rollin We Had Ladie’s Hearts Always Gettin Damaged And Stolen But This Summer Is Different It’s A Two Man Operation Granted The Fact That We One Man Short Got Love For Him He Can Watch This New Man Stop A Nation Cause Handin’ Them Crack Is A One Man Sport Instead Of Dress-Up, I Walk In Sweat Pants And Chomp Clinkin’ I Find A Girl We Step Dance And Calm Drinkin’ The Face, The Breast, The Bras, The Toes I’m Still Solo And A Long Night Draws To A Close Cause It’s A Fact, If She Come To The Crib And I Get Some Ass Inside We’ll Never Talk Again, Scary And True That Song Special I Recorded With Voyce Well It’s Like A Classified It’s What I’m Lookin For To Carry Me Through Yet I Can’t Seem To Find A Heavy Girl That Possesses It Only Wants A Friendship Causing Me To Forget The Shit And When They Talk About They Past And Lovers And You Get Mad At The Though Of It Giving Ass To Others Yet You Find Peace With Yourself, Now Least There’s Some Room To Ride There’s Also Room For Improvement As Soon As June Arrive

[Voice:] Strolling In The Park, And Watching Winter Turn To Spriing Strolling In The Park, And Watching Winter Turn To Spriing Strolling In The Park, And Watching Winter Turn To Spriing

Who is Drake

Aubrey Drake Graham – Canadian actor and musician. Degrassi: Jimmy Brooks from the next generation. As a rapper, Drake uses his stage name.