#but i wrote it in my head earlier
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i have an idea for the tiniest little cdplayer drabble do i write it and post it from my phone in bed rn or do i wait until tmrw and actually write it properly
#i haven't written it yet#but i wrote it in my head earlier#so its basically almost done#it shouldn't be more than a couple hundred words i would think#maybe a triple drabble or whatever its called#i hate writing and posting from my phone but im tempted
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i’m sure someone talked about this when jatp first came out but i just rewatched it in years. (not because i forgot about it, not because i didn’t like it, but because it hurt so much to know this show wasn’t getting renewed and i had to avoid it in order to protect myself)
something i just love about the show is how they never bash on any other types of music. and each character has more than one genre of music to like.
yes, Sunset Curve was a rock band and Julie and the Phantoms are more rock indie/alternative rock band.
but that doesn’t stop Reggie from liking country music, “I shred on the banjo,” and Jeremy Shada later on actually writing and performing “Home Is Where My Horse Is” (which I recommend heavily).
that doesn’t stop Alex from getting into Dirty Candi’s bubblegum pop music and dancing alongside Carrie on stage, (and how hard it must be for Carrie, who’s father is a rock musician, and how his fans must hate that his daughter is a fem bubblegum pop musician)
that doesn’t stop Luke from absolutely going insane over Caleb’s first performance, “The Other Side of Hollywood” with it’s 20’s era vibe and Broadway level intensity. (he was also into more classic rock as shown when he tried playing a song that Bobby/Trevor stole for Julie) (and lets not forget that he can also make the most emotional ballad of alternative rock)
and that doesn’t stop Julie from alternating between piano, rock music, pop verses, love ballads, and indie rock. and she and Flynn never once talk badly about Carrie’s music genre.
everyone can have more than one type of music they’re interested in or just show appreciation for instead of bashing it or disregarding it and i love that this show did this.
#Flynn just didn’t like that Carrie was using her dad’s money for costumes and big choreography lessons#but she never criticized her for her bubblegum pop music#im pretty sure julie was also slightly piano classically trained#also#i think i could be making it up in my head but i still like it for her#also her brother is into rap; another music genre added there#show me who wrote this first; i would like to reblog and thank them for their controbution years earlier#bc im convinced im not the first one to notice this#julie and the phantoms#julie molina#luke patterson#alex mercer#reggie peters#sunset curve#carrie wilson#jatp
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I swore I would never get sucked back into the brainrot.
And yet
Here we are.
Kaboom.
#based on a fanfic somebody recommended#emmet is picked on a lot by the fanbase#he loves his life rn#he told ingo earlier that day that he was so stressed he felt his head might explode#I love drawing the subway twins#submas#emmet and ingo#ingo and emmet#subway boss emmet#subway boss ingo#Pokémon#Pokémon black and white#blacephalon#Pokémon tf#s t r e s s#ultra beast#ingo#emmet#Pokémon ingo#Pokémon emmet#nurse joy#my brain already thought up a whole plot line for this single chapter fic somebody wrote#ingo in his pajamas as it is 2 in the mornin
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First TOS thingie written this year \o/ It was written as mckirk.
prompt: signal
Could be longer, but I really wanted to make it only one hundred words.
---
The signal isn’t coming.
Jim grips the fabric of his pants. “Come on, Bones.”
The planet visible on the viewscreen is blue like home. Even now, Jim feels the wave of longing, but it’s quickly drowned by dread and worry.
“Two minutes to the eruption,” Spock says, and Jim holds himself back from snapping.
McCoy’s still on the surface! Doesn’t Spock care?
Uhura’s urgent calls for “Doctor McCoy” are the only sound on the bridge.
“One minute.”
Jim stands, fists clenched, seeing nothing but blue.
A noise in the intercom. “Enterprise?” McCoy. “Three to beam up.”
Jim exhales in relief.
#my writing#jim kirk#mckirk#star trek tos#written for a prompt over at 30+ fanfic discord#sometimes a prompt can inspire me i guess#but i'm just happy that i wrote a short mckirk thingie#even tho i think the story just lives in my head and idk if i managed to properly express it lol#but anyway i had fun#i don't write in present tense but i made an exception for this#also this isn't the writing i mentioned earlier. it's more writing! yay :D
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i don’t think i’ve said it enough lately but your writing is very nice to read and you’re a great writer and you deserve everything in the world <333
wyr :((( thank you so much <3 this means the world to me and i think you deserve the world and so much more!! thank you for saying this and i'm so glad that you think i'm a good writer <333 i appreciate it so much!!
#you're an amazing writer <3#if it seems like idk what i'm doing it's bc i don't#i havw to apologize to u for all my typos#like i was checking ur blog earlier today to make sure i didn't miss anything and then realized when i sent u the ask abt the ask game#i wrote like wuestion or something 😭😭#i should never trust sleep deprived me#but thank you so so much for this <3 you have quieted the anxiety voices in my head for the time being!!!#answers <3#wyr's special tag bc i love them <3#ur special tag is vv special bc i formatted it differently from my other special moot tags <3
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more and more it's feeling like we just...don't have room for people trying anymore. it's all or nothing; get it right the first time, or be crucified by a jury you can never fully see or convince. and this isn't new, isn't born of current events. it's become more and more prevalent over the last ten years thanks to social media putting every little thought on blast, but i'd put money on the idea that it's actually been brewing much longer than that. and, for me, it goes beyond being tiring or upsetting. it feels bleak. it feels downright fucking broken that we're all so busy trying not to condone anything remotely problematic that we don't leave room for good faith learning. watching people trying to suss out their own identity--something literally ONLY they can fully understand or explain--be vilified for trying to fit words around their own experience sucks. watching people misunderstand something and try to apologize for it later, only to be told they should have known all along, sucks. seeing people who once held truly toxic beliefs actually grow and learn and apologize and still be told to fuck themselves as if they're a lost cause--it sucks. just. does that not fill you with despair for the state of things? does that not break something in you, to think that if you one day don't understand something, or misuse a word, or grapple with complicated feelings, it will forever stain you in the eyes of perfect strangers?
dude the world is fucked, and we all see it, but like. it doesn't feel like it helps to be so goddamn reactive. it doesn't feel like it helps anyone to demand perfection out the gate. it's exhausting. there are enough people out there who don't want to learn, who aren't trying, who actively revel in cruelty. looking for malice in every little fuck-up from people who seem to be genuinely striving to live their lives with kindness strikes me as lending strength to an army that already glories in suffering. and makes the world look more fucked than ever. and i really don't know that that energy is what we need when there's already so much to set right.
maybe it's just me. maybe this last decade just shattered something in me. but i really, really hate the idea--reject the idea, frankly--that people can't learn and change and grow. that people can't be better than a bad day or a failure of understanding. i reject the idea that people are something to be thrown out because they fucked up. it just seems...yeah. bleak. really fuckin' bleak.
#personal#i dunno dude#this is that fighting energy from earlier. found some actual words for it i guess#but i'm just so tired#shit's fucked. some shit's complicated. and some isn't--some feels incredibly straightforward to me.#and to the next person maybe there's more nuance. it's all so fucking...there's so much to process all the time#and i catch myself in knee-jerk mode#i catch myself writing people off. making lists in my head. sometimes it's just purely a matter of safety#but god the things i'd give for some of those people to come back into my world#to learn. to grow. to apologize. to decide they value kindness and life over brainwashed beliefs#i would give so much for those friends back. those family members. those people i knee-jerk wrote off back in 2015#i shrunk my world down when i cut them out. i shrunk it down when i told them to fuck off instead of having a conversation#i actively made my safety net smaller in the effort to keep myself protected#and i just keep watching other people do similar things#and thinking like. if i could go back. if i wasn't so hot-headed and Certain that evil thoughts make a person evil#or that miseducation or ignorance or straight-up brainwashing broke a person for good#maybe it would all be different now than it was for my 25-year-old self#i just. i don't fucking know.#people are trying. people need to KEEP trying.#and telling them they're shit for NEEDING to try is only ever going to carve out the part of them that wants to be better#the world is fucked. why help fuck it even more. what is the point of that.#and i'm not saying don't call people on their shit. but maybe calling them shouldn't look like telling them to kill themselves#maybe it should involve a little grace#slamming doors just feels like it makes the house smaller. and shuts off exit routes you might need later#and i kinda wish i'd known that in my 20s
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anna or lily going into a convent (and being in america) and carlo can use that as a reputation boost hhhhhhhh
#im sooooo rewriting carlo & his family. bc the existing ver irritates me endlessly u can't even imagine like my teeth r literally gritting#like im literally the n1 hater of the thing i wrote myself like genuinely#“my heart's in the highlands” scene from la grande bellezza (this film & religious topic in it in general) haunts me#genuinely i dont want anna to go into a convent. girl youre so young dont do this. turning to God closer to old age is more common#*but it's so fitting for anna's character i have in my head hhhhhh#but they all are socialists (except for carlo ofc). so there's probably a complicated relationship with god#me when i cant help but make things even more complicated bc my brain works like a cancer#everyone go & listen my hearts in the highlands by arvo part right nowww#m2#i was thinking about the convent for months. just if ure interested#upd. “are you really the strongest exorcist in all of europe?”* hhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#+ for lily. when a saint is asked to talk about her life and she answers: “you can't talk about poverty” hhhhhhhhhh#*looked at la grande belleza's script. exact quote:#i apologize for earlier. there's one question i really want to ask you. are the rumors about you true?#that you were a truly great.. exorcist? // and then the cardinal says some kind of spell & closes the car window#hhhhhhhhhh. another scene that fucking haunts me#upd2. thought bout verro's bust that was destroyed 2 times by the mafia. thought bout anna. i can see her as a sculptor#she has very strong hands. its a pity that if shes in the usa bc have no idea bout american art schools. im more educated bout european art#and also idfk. maybe i do need to see her as a (fierce? but shes in the usa) socialist. you dont get it i need it
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Y’all can’t tell me goose wouldn’t be singing this just as much as great balls of fire cause he would 🪿
#also he wrote this#and he’s singing it everywhere#it’s the man’s theme song and he is the main character#I absolutely died when I first found this earlier#it’s gonna be new thing#gonna be stuck in my head for days#nick goose bradshaw
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should i post that nhw muse thing i wrote under that art on ao3....
#its rlly short. idk. but i like rereading it and i like having all my fics in the same place.#head in hands. tiny fic i wrote in like the span of 3 hours. but its gooood and i like ittttt#idk man. im in the tranches a little bit tonigjt ive been thinking about ashe and william and music all night#(<<was listening to set it off earlier)
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I have come to some conclusions about Marcus and his story that I think are going to pay off.
In AOM:
He and Horatio don't have a romantic thing going on but they are extremely cuddly friends which also makes them the perfect pair for Sid to misinterpret. Which I think is a useful setup for Sid's whole deal and also gives me the soft nonsense I desire
Sid probably still ends up hiding at Sorian's house but for any kind of long-term parent evasion he would have to go to Marcus's because his parents would never look there. Still looking for a good excuse to make that happen. Sid and Marcus should also be friends and not just in a "thanks for testing my hair dye" kind of way
In Marcus's own as-yet-unnamed story:
In previous versions his love interest was a Hallmark-movie businesswoman type who was learning to pay attention to her own needs and desires, so that when Marcus was forced to tell her his deep dark secrets it was like she was getting her hard-won happiness stolen away from her. But I don't want to write that anymore and I want a story that is more about both of them. So I present to you:
Love interest is the bat-eared fox shifter I mentioned earlier, named Heith (for now at least - I might change my mind but that was her name in the last version). They're a traveling punk singer who is touring Aephar. Probably they look badass as fuck when shifted because that's a lot of ear real estate for piercings.
As they start to form a romantic connection Marcus is constantly worried that she's not gonna like some aspects of his life that he's not willing to give up/compromise on, like the aforementioned friendship with Horatio. But she keeps being so chill about everything, like nothing is ever a problem to her, and he slowly accepts that maybe this whole "finding love in a faraway system" thing isn't so hard.
This was the end of their tour, but Heith keeps putting off going home and her band leaves her behind to go back to whatever island they came from (believe it or not Imni and Aephar are not the only islands on Rade). She doesn't seem bothered by this either. It starts to become clear (at least to the reader) that whenever things get hard, she just dips from relationships, but things haven't gotten hard with him yet.
But then (spoilers I guess?) a military escort ship arrives from Iecunem and Marcus has to explain that the general belief that he was escaping shitty parents or a shitty job or maybe even the law when he left Iecunem is only a sliver of the story. His awful manipulative mother is now dead, and he's the heir to her kingdom. Not only that, but he has multiple spouses there and multiple children that are legally considered his. He tries to explain the complexities of this and that he'll be right back after he goes to the funeral and abdicates to his sister, but it doesn't seem like Heith is going to wait that long to disappear.
And this time, no one would really blame her if she did. This is a lot of stuff to suddenly digest. But she's also been here long enough to have considered not just running away. At the eleventh hour she shows up at the warp station to join Marcus on his trip back to Iecunem. Horatio high key had not realized that Marcus had only intended to take one other person on this trip, but when Marcus insists that he stay and take care of their collective plants instead of going to Iecunem he's also kind of relieved because he doesn't really trust anyone else with them.
Shifters taglist: @outpost51 @kk7-rbs
#obv some other stuff happens after that but I haven't decided on it#but I have the story concept to a point that it can just hang out in my mind for when I feel like writing it#Horatio wrote a book's worth of extremely specific instructions for Sid. that boy knows nothing about plants but he can follow directions#I wrote this earlier today and then said to myself no I can't post this. I've been on tumblr so much lately I'm worried about being annoyin#ON MY OWN BLOG. smh my head#anyway I wonder what lucky old ocs will get recycled into Heith's bandmates. probably Chet Val & Rocky#c: Marcus#c: Horatio#c: Heith#wip: aom#wip: iecunem
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looking in every part of the internet to fuel my hyperfixation no one has ever heard about.
results: none
#gamezz.txt#this is about yona#you should listen to her music btw😁😁 kellon alla and pilvet liikkuu minä en are some of my favorite#it’s by far my most normal interest but how much i can talk about it is unparalleled#like i have to stop myself from talking about her music. i have an entire universe in my head because of her music LOL#like for each song. at least in her earlier albums the lyrics are so powerful. the words compliment the atmosphere of the song#its perfect to visualize how the world looks. the coloring. the people within it#OK ok i wrote like an entire detailed essay but i deleted it😢 you see what i mean by having to stop myself. i could go into so much detail#i would give anything to see people talk about her music….
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Someday, I want to list down all of the fashion terms/ references I’ve made in my writing and Darlings’ designs. Idk it sounds fun :3
#jessamine rambles#from the top of my head. i can recall kitty! darling’s esclavage necklace (in housecat) and how my character design for her was inspired by#the chanel chain dress and bulgari choker xD#ohh and savior’s necklace is supposed to be a festoon necklace ^o^#as for the others….miguel o’hara’s darling has a chain belt inspired by chanel >:3#and ofc there’s that time i wrote a description for friend! darling’s outfit which was based on chanel’s 1995 spring ready-to-wear collecti#ohh and for my church au!! i haven’t mentioned it here yet. but priesttore’a hell outfit has a modified version of the diy heart shirt that#trended earlier this year. while his fallen seraph darling’s outfit has a back cutout inspired by simone rocha’s autumn/ winter 2022#i also have another darling design which might incorporate the vivienne westwood orb earrings and roberto cavalli#backless dress#and just today i learned about rusly tjohnardi’s capes#which could work for demon! pantalone’s outfit#hold up. did i just list everything already….?? xD#aahh i love fashion…….
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...
#that awkward moment when you're writing a silly little fluffy fic but suddenly it takes a quick turn towards smut#and you're trying to keep a straight face because your family is in the same room 🙈#also in general that awkward moment when smut happens#i'd rather not go there so boys please keep your pants on 😅#if anyone has tips on either how to write good smut OR how to keep your characters from heading towards smut it'd be appreciated 😂#(yes the olliallu dream i had earlier this week still hasn't left my mind so i'm trying to write something inspired by it.#even though the last time i wrote fics was probably in december or something)
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Ngl I got like, an old unfinished dreamswap fic au ig ??? That's just been sitting there for years and lowkey I'm tempted to actually continue and share it mayhaps if it's not too cringe, it would be good practice for my original stuff since well,,, I'm still fckn tryna write doranverse lmao,,, my perfectionist brain is in editing hell with doranverse rn so idk maybe practice fics would help with that, and also bc it's fun writing dreamswap stuff ngl even if I have no idea how accurate I am with the cast, lots of ppl like my older dreamswap fics to this day on ao3 so ig that's something good
#toasty speaks#I was sorta flip flopping between that fic and doranverse earlier today#the whiplash of writing nightmare in a tense situation#and then switching to writing skizii getting a dirty dish towel flung at him as he's climbing through a window#it's so funny ngl#original doranverse stuff tends to be wacky to write when you literally CHANGE THE MAIN CHARACTER AND WHO THE STORY FOLLOWS#I love changing my mind rlly late on#it's great/sarcasm#also if you're wondering that old dreamswap fics p much nightmare being slowly controlled by some multiple eye corruption thingy I made up#thats like diff from regular ol corruption bc the image in my head of nm being surrounded by floaty cyan glowy eye magic was cool#and like its him fckn fighting with it and everyone else having to deal with that#also it like mirrors his memeyness just in a violent kinda way so theyd be bickering like siblings#idk if thats cringe or not but I just wrote it one day and never rlly posted it#I had like a fuck ton of cringe dreamswap aus back in like 2019 and this aint even the wildest of things tbh#I fr treated dreamswap like a full on dollhouse to mess with before I had my original stories and characters#tag rambles woo
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okay. god. turned poem in. going to kill myself a little maybe but fox transgenderism poem is officially submitted for my creative writing workshop
#I HATE OPEN FIELD POETRY A LITTLE BIT MAYBE#i have nothing against it actually it just freaks me out cause it makes me feel like i'm being tacky and everyone's gonna hate me#makes me feel like rupi kaur a little bit when i'm isolating words with white space. idk.#screaming and sobbing but it's gonna be what it's gonna be#and i'm gonna preface my reading of it saying that i struggled a little bit <3#and then the writing itself will still be good and people will be soooo impressed with how brave i was for submitting this#god. head in my hands. it's so late i'm not gonna get nearly enough sleep#AND THEN I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THURSDAY TO ACTUALLY READ IT. HELL IS REAL AND I'M IN IT#maybe i'll type up other little poem i wrote earlier and post it as a treat for myself 😭#valentine notes
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I think I might have mentioned it before but I realise now that books are VERY difficult to promote (if not the hardest type of media to promote unless turned into a show/movie) since they're not visual.
but this is why I'm glad I'm an animator and game dev bc when I finally finish Blue Bones I can let people know it exists through animation memes and short games either about the story or set in the same universe.
#I haven't been writing recently mainly bc of a lot of irl things stressing me out#but is2g I will get that first draft done#I think my anniversary if you will is in october? could be earlier eg when I first ever posted/drew blue bones herself#ngl i do make myself a little paranoid I'm overhyping it aaaa#but I am trying to not let that get to me ofc and just enjoy drawing and writing for it#also it will be nice to get it out my head and to paper#plus like. I'll just be happy I wrote a long story and can hold it physically one day :>
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