#but i would LIKE to imagine this is what happens when u endanger her family within her radius AND she has a sword.

[princema-k]

Can you make flora mad please 🤲🤲 she deserves it

couldn't decide between pouty or dead serious so u get both

[mrs-kmikaelson]

05| The Tribrid

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x daughter!reader Summary: As you settle back into the Quarter, you juggle your personal and new professional life—but with the Mikaelsons, it was almost as if there was no difference between the two. Warnings: none Words: 5.6K

Masterlist | Part 6

a/n: i see this series getting long, guys; just letting you know. btw, i'm pretty much unoccupied, so u can expect new posts for this series and possibly other imagines like every 2-3 days. and tysm for all the support! anyway, i'll let you get to reading now.

I walked into the Abattoir with a façade of confidence. I was now completely sober, facing the repercussions of my drunken actions. It'd been about a week since my agreement with Elijah and he'd only just called me in to speak with him yesterday.

I was currently cursing my drunk self, but at least Marcel was now allowed back into the Quarter without any fuss. Of course, he wasn't allowed back into the slaughterhouse, but he did compel himself a nice little townhouse a few minutes of human-walking away from my place.

In New Orleans, it was always better to live in the Quarter than anywhere else. This was the heart of the city's supernatural happenings. You were both safest here and also at most danger. But I guess, if you had enemies, you wanted to be in the Quarter because, if you had a crew to roll with, then nobody would really try you.

That's how it used to be at one point in time, and that's what the factions were trying to achieve now.

I was immediately greeted after making it past the gates. "Y/N," Elijah said, walking towards me, hands held out. He wrapped an arm around me, walking me to the couches in the middle of the courtyard. I tried not to show any discomfort at the physical touch. "It's lovely to see you."

I chuckled a little. "Feeling's mutual," I replied, causing the nobleman to let out a little laugh himself. I sat down on one of the couches while he sat on the other. "So, what have we got today?"

He sighed, "The withes are unhappy because of- all due respect, Marcellus' actions."

Right. Marcel forbade anyone to do magic. While I understand his reasoning, trying to protect a little witch by the name of Davina Claire, it was cruel. To ask a witch to go without magic was like asking a human not to breathe; it was damn near impossible.

Even though I get what he was trying to do, I still didn't agree with it—but that didn't mean that I agreed with what the New Orleans witches were doing either.

"So I've heard. But I'm sure you're aware of why he did what he did." He was; otherwise, I wouldn't have brought it up. I wouldn't do anything to endanger Davina; she'd become like a family to me. I knew that the Mikaelsons knew all about Davina, the harvest, and whatnot.

"Yes, of course. To protect Davina, I understand. She is special, without a doubt." Elijah's voice with filled with nothing other than conviction; I'd expect nothing less when people were speaking about Davina.

I smiled thinking about her. "Yes, she is."

"However, it still hasn't done us any favours on a community-wide scale." Elijah ran a hand through his hair. "The witches' spokesperson, Genevieve, is just about furious with the treatment they've received." A look suddenly appeared on his face. "And considering the... interactions my family has had with her, I wouldn't want to anger her further, especially since Hayley is with child."

This was the first time my heart didn't stop at the mention of Klaus' unborn baby. Instead, I was too focused on the witch Elijah named: Genevieve. Now, this was a name Marcel had somehow neglected to inform me about, but I was well aware of who she was.

From my understanding, Rebekah Mikaelson killed her the same year the Mikaelsons fled New Orleans, sometime in the early 1900s. Marcel spilled the whole story to me one night when he was drunk.

Genevieve died. Yet, according to Elijah (and I know this is not a coincidence) she's alive leading the NOLA coven.

Great.

I responded after a beat, bringing my hands together. "Okayyy, so what are we doing?"

"Making the witches happy, love."

Now my heart stopped.

I turned my head to see Klaus just finishing walking down the stairs. "Elijah tells me you're our new... fixer." He shrugged, making his way to the minibar. "So fix it."

"Niklaus."

"Get a grip, Elijah. I don't think I'm offending the young woman," he said before turning to face me. "Am I offending you, love?"

I skipped the whole processing bit of this situation and dived straight into my persona. "Not at all."

Klaus made a gesture to me with his hand, turning back to his brother. "See, Elijah. Marcel's right hand has tough skin." Elijah responded with a much more exhausted sigh than before, rubbing his hand on his face. Klaus ignored this, turning back to me with a bottle of bourbon in his hand. "Want me to pour you a glass, Y/N?"

"It is ten o'clock in the morning, Niklaus."

"All the more reason," he quipped back. "Y/N?"

I tried to loosen up, but my smile probably came out a little more tense than I originally intended. "I'm good; thank you."

Klaus looked at me for a few seconds before shrugging and pouring his own glass. Elijah took this opportunity to continue, but not before letting out another sigh. "As I was saying before my brother so tersely interrupted us, Genevieve has agreed to meet with us after I told her that you—Marcel's right hand, as Niklaus put it—were going to be representing us."

I tried to focus all my attention on the task at hand instead of my absent father who kept looking over at me periodically. I remembered what this was like when I did it for Cellie; I just had to get back in the game. "So, if you are looking to make an agreement of some sort, what are you willing to negotiate—give up, even?"

Just as Elijah was about to answer, Klaus briskly cut him off. "Oh, that's all on you, love." I narrowed my eyes slightly and he elaborated. "You decide then and there what you think is fair." He shrugged again, and although he looked carefree, he also had a smug look on his face that I doubt he was even trying to hide. "Ball's in your court." This was a test.

I didn't ponder on that for too long, nodding to him. "I can do that."

Klaus nodded back. He looked like he wanted to say something, but a quick look from Elijah seemed to make him want to hold his tongue. Thank God.

While I seemed like I was coming a long way, just the mere idea of holding a conversation with this man was terrifying. There were so many things I was holding my tongue about. It was just lucky that I so happened to be 500 years old. A few, quick conversations with my dad who had no idea I was his illegitimate child would not break me. Maybe it fucked with my head, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.

I'm here after all, aren't I?

Elijah cleared his throat. "Well, it seems to me that we've discussed everything we needed to discuss for today." He stood up and I followed suit. "Again, it was lovely seeing you, Y/N."

"Likewise." I shook the hand he held out, once again ignoring the weird original rush I felt. "I'll see myself out." Couldn't get out faster.

I walked toward the exit before Elijah could say something gentlemanly about escorting me out and before Klaus could say something that'd boggle my mind even further. I assumed he'd text me the details about the meeting later.

I took a deep breath immediately once I was far enough from the compound that I was sure they wouldn't hear me. I had no idea how I was going to get used to any of this, but it was too late to go back now.

In the meantime, I decided to take my mind off the Mikaelsons for a bit by visiting someone who I've yet to see.

I walked into the old church with caution. It wasn't like I had a problem with Kieran; I just felt awkward whenever I talked to him, so I'd rather avoid him. I've had enough awkward situations in these past few weeks to last me a lifetime.

To my luck, he was absent and so I just walked straight upstairs, dodging cobwebs as I went until I made it to the attic's ajar door. A girl sat on a stool in front of an easel, painting a landscape. She was so focused she didn't even notice me push the door the rest of the way open.

I smiled, leaning on the door as I looked around the room that'd changed since I last saw it, now more decorated and screaming it'd been touched by a teenage girl. "So Marcel's still got you holed up in here, huh?"

She instantly spun around with her jaw dropped. "Y/N?!" She ran toward me, engulfing me in a tight hug that I'm sure would've broken some bones if I was human.

I chuckled, "Hi, Davina. I've missed you, too."

She pulled back, looking over me with disbelief visible on her face. "Oh, my God- when did you get back?"

"A little while ago. I'm sorry I couldn't come see you sooner, but I've been absolutely swamped. I promise, though—going into the future, I'll make time to see you." Davina smiled, pulling me back in for another hug. Her happiness spread to me and I started smiling so hard that my cheeks hurt. I think this might be the first time I've been this happy since I got back to New Orleans.

Davina was an amazing kid. I was supposed to meet up with Marcel the night of the harvest when he saved her, and so I ended up meeting her a few months before I left. She just so happened to be one of the few people who know my secret. She was incredibly gifted and reminded me so much of my younger self. I felt like I owed it to her, to myself, to be there for her. In the short time I've known her, she's become something like a little sister to me, if not a daughter.

When we broke from the hug, we both ended up sitting on the bed. I let her catch me up on what's been happening, even though I already more or less knew it from Marcel's summaries. "Okay, so if the witches aren't trying to hunt you down anymore, why are you still hiding away in this attic?"

"Well, I'm not hiding away anymore," she replied. "Marcel just figured it'd be safer for me to stay here instead of with them. He still doesn't trust them and, honestly, neither do I. They've been acting kind of weird since the witches were resurrected, but I just deal with it and go there everyday to practice."

I hummed. I understood Marcel's reasoning; keeping Davina at the church was actually pretty smart. I wouldn't trust her with a bunch of vengeful witches, either, especially after they tried to kill her once. But this attic was far too small for a little girl to spend her days in.

I looked around the cluttered room, thinking before I said screw it and decided to propose my idea to Davina. "What if you didn't have to stay here?" I asked, looking back at her.

She furrowed her brows. "What do you mean? It's not like there's anywhere else I could go, besides with the witches."

"Not necessarily true." I sat up straighter. "I mean, my townhouse has three rooms, and only one of those rooms isn't empty." I shrugged, gesturing around the room. "It's bigger than this place, so all your stuff would fit."

She sat up too. "Wait, are you being serious?"

"Hell yeah, I am. And the protections on my place are a lot better than this church's, trust me."

"You want me to move in with you?"

"Yeah, Davina, that's what I've been sayi-" I was cut off when she threw her arms around me in the tightest hug she'd given me since I entered the attic, and that was saying something.

"Oh, my gosh! Yes, of course!" 

I giggled at her enthusiasm, hugging her back before pulling away to pull my phone out of my back pocket. "Okay, I'll drop you off at the apartment now and I'll text some people to come pick up your stuff and bring it to you." I glanced back up at her for confirmation, looking back at my phone when she giddily nodded. "You can just make yourself at home and get settled in. I'll be home a bit later; I just have a business meeting first."

"Yeah, sure." Davina then stood up, looking around and clapping her hands. "I'll start packing!"

I laughed for what felt like the umpteenth time since I've seen her, standing up too. "Alright, D. I'll see you later," I said, but she was already far too engrossed in packing her things, giving me a distracted goodbye. I shook my head, the corners of my lips going up even higher as I left the room.

Thank God I wouldn't have to come back to this creepy ass church anymore. I really hadn't even thought of asking Davina move in with me; it was such a spur of the moment kind of thing, but I had no doubts then and no doubts now. She'd be safer with me than here, with the witches, or even Marcel.

At the though of my friend, I went to text him about this new development, coming across a message from Elijah along the way.

Elijah M. We'll be meeting the witches at 7:00 PM at the compound.

You OK, I'll be there.

I stuffed my phone back into my pocket after responding to Elijah and texting Marcel about Davina. Seven was two hours away, so I had time to go home and freshen up before the meeting.

I wasn't nervous; I'd already been here before, already done it all, but I did feel a weird pressure to do this well. Something in me said Klaus was counting on me to fail, so it was my job to prove him wrong.

I walked right into the compound later without standing out front for ten minutes like I did this morning. I was gonna have to get used to this all eventually and I'd prefer that'd happen sooner rather than later. 

I was apparently earlier than everyone else because there wasn't a Mikaelson or red-haired witch in sight. I checked my watch: 6:30, it read. Earlier than I expected, but that was fine with me. I wiped the imaginary dust off my outfit: slacks and a tight white dress shirt that I'd unbuttoned just enough to not look like a female Elijah. Resemblance to the Mikaelsons was not what I needed right now.

I was just about to pull out my phone to keep myself busy when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around, my eyes meeting the mother of Klaus' kid. "Oh, hi," she greeted, a surprised look on her face. "What are you- oh, right, Elijah told me you guys were meeting with the witches tonight."

"Yeah- it, uh, appears that I'm a bit early." I chuckled, making small talk even though I really didn't want to have any unnecessary conversations with anyone that lived in this building.

"No, it's a good quality. Elijah's like that," she told me. I nodded, ignoring my thoughts which were questioning her relationship with Elijah. Something told me it was a lot more complicated than it seemed. "I wanted to thank you, by the way."

My brows furrowed. "Hm? For what?"

"For covering me that day with Elijah- and for saving me from that vampire that day, too," she expressed with an almost bashful look on her face. "I realize I was pretty rude to you, but I was really just having a bad day, and-"

"And I'm a vampire, so you were just being careful." She let a small, embarrassed smile form on her lips which I reciprocated. "It's fine, I get it. I'd do the same if I were in your shoes."

"Thank you for understanding; I really appreciate it." I told her it was no problem, resisting the urge to be nosy and ask why she didn't wanna tell Elijah what happened; I didn't want to risk her growing suspicious of me.

Before Hayley and I could fall into an uncomfortable silence, Klaus and Elijah strolled in through the gates into the courtyard. Klaus' eyes narrowed between me and Hayley, probably in a protective manner, while Elijah greeted me. 

"Y/N, sorry to have kept you waiting-"

"Oh, no, it was no biggie." I gestured to Hayley. "I had good company, anyways." Hayley smiled, excusing herself after wishing us luck with the witches, but I doubted I'd need it.

I was good and I knew it. Half a millennium alone in the world taught you how to negotiate, how to get your way when you had no one else on your side. Really, I was less worried about the witches and more worried about being in Klaus' presence.

Speak of the devil.

"The witches should arrive soon," Klaus announced, glancing down at his watch then up at me, a smirk arising on his face. "And then you'll be able to play your hand."

I stopped myself from narrowing my eyes or doing anything that showed I felt the shade he was so obviously throwing my way. Clearly, without even having really spoken to me, dear old dad has decided he doesn't like me, much less trust me. I don't know why that hurt because I don't even want to be talking to him period. I guess there's just a part of me that disagrees with that.

Like this morning, Klaus didn't waste a second before walking over to the bar. "Can I interest you in a drink whilst we wait, love?" He poured himself a glass. "Some... liquid courage, if you will."

He's being a jackass on purpose.

I declined, "No thanks." I shook my head. "I don't need it." And I also don't need to be under the influence around the Originals.

Klaus chuckled in an almost sardonic manner. Like the night I met him, he had a dark air around him that he barely cared to conceal. Klaus wanted people to notice that about him; he wanted people to be scared. And I was, but for entirely different reasons.

However, I'd sooner die before letting him know that. If he wanted to play hard ball, then I'd be the best damn batter he's ever seen.

Klaus turned around, tipping his glass to me. "You're quite confident."

"Well, I can back it up," I quipped back. In response, he sarcastically smiled, taking a sip of the brown liquid in his hand. From the corner of my eye, I saw Elijah glancing in between us watchfully.

"So I've heard- and you know, it got me thinking, what exactly is it about you that makes you so special?" This-

I was given time to pause by Elijah's interjection. "Niklaus."

He held his hands out in the air. "What, Elijah? I'm just curious," he reasoned.

I cut Elijah off before he could say something more in order to respond. "No, it's alright, Elijah; I understand the skepticism." I looked back to Klaus whose eyes just so imperceptibly narrowed. "The reason why people are more inclined to listen to me is because I don't operate with a desire to instill fear in others, just respect." I maintained eye contact with Klaus, hoping he was picking up what I was putting down. I knew he got the message when I saw his jaw clench.

He looked like he was going to say something else, but before he could, the gates to the compound opened. All three of us looked toward the entrance to see Genevieve and two other witches walking beside her, like a little entourage.

Elijah seemed to let out a sigh of relief at the intrusion. "Genevieve," he greeted, walking toward them. "Thank you for agreeing to this meeting. Please, take a seat. Can we interest you in any beverages?"

While Elijah was clearly doing his best to mediate, Klaus didn't say a word, only burning a hole into the side of Genevieve's head with a hard glare while he drank his scotch.

The three of them sat down on one couch as Elijah and I sat on the one parallel to it. "No, that'll be alright," she said, crossing her legs. "I know you appreciate verity, Elijah, so I'm gonna be honest: I wouldn't have agreed to this meeting if it weren't for the woman sitting next to you."

Elijah nodded. "Yes, I'm completely aware. Y/N is here to make sure that we both get what we want and to ensure that the future of the Quarter, and everyone in it, is prosperous."

I smiled, holding my hand out. "Hello, it's lovely to meet you. I've heard many good things about you." That was a lie.

Shaking my hand, she responded, "Likewise. The elders of the coven are practically smitten with you. I've never seen witches so eager to deal with a vampire."

"Well, I hope that, after our discussion, you will also be more eager to work with the Mikaelsons."

Genevieve almost scoffed at what I said. In my peripheral, I saw Klaus roll his eyes—at me or her, I'm unsure. "Please, Y/N—I'm sure you're aware of who exactly these people are and what they've done. Even though you're a vampire, you have to admit it's outrageous." Her voice was incredulous.

I really don't understand what she was making a big fuss about. From the way the story was told, Genevieve used to have a huge crush on Klaus back in the day—ew—but I wasn't gonna actually use that against her. I didn't want her to resent me; I actually needed her to like me for this to work.

"I understand where you're coming from," I told her, managing to muster up a sympathetic expression. "But we all want the same thing: peace. That is the final destination; there are so many stops along the way to get there, so if peace is where we truly want to be, then we need to be willing to put aside our differences."

The redhead sighed. "I hear what you're saying, but how can we expect peace while working with these people? How do you expect us to trust them?" Now, Klaus scoffed, causing both Genevieve and Elijah to look over at him, Elijah with a more stern look in his eyes. I, on the other hand, ignored him altogether, focusing completely on the witch in front of me.

I said her name to get her attention back onto me, thus causing Elijah to look away from his brother, too. "I am, in no way, asking you to trust blindly. We're willing to negotiate; just state your terms." I knew this was dangerous, giving her the opportunity to ask for whatever she wanted, but the witches had been recently oppressed; giving them the chance to ask for what they wanted was like an apology of sorts, one that I felt they'd appreciate.

Genevieve looked hesitant, glancing at both of her associates, to Elijah, Klaus, and then back to me. Even without looking at him, I could feel Klaus staring at me, probably questionably. None of them were expecting that move. 

See, because I was representing the Mikaelsons, Genevieve expected me to state their terms first then negotiate since they were more powerful. So, of course she was surprised.

After a beat of silence, she finally spoke up. "We want to practice freely."

"Done."

"And we want to celebrate our festivals without a hassle."

"Of course."

"And we want to reclaim witch territory for ourselves and ourselves alone, like the Lafayette cemetery." 

"Reasonable," I noted, waiting for her to say something else. When she didn't, I asked, "Is there anything else we can give you? You don't have to answer right now; we'll take some time then I'll get a contract drafted-"

"Esther Mikaelson's grimoire." At her interjection, the room went silent. I didn't even wanna know what Klaus looked like right now, but Genevieve sure as hell seemed to have regained her confidence. "We want Esther Mikaelson's grimoire." That was one ballsy request.

"Are you out of your mind?" For the first time since the witches walked into the compound, Klaus spoke. I looked over at him to see a look of shock adorning his face as if the redhead just tried to kill him—and, I mean, was he that far off?

You don't ask for the Original Witch's spell book without wanting to kill or at least having the ability to kill if you so need it.

Elijah seemed to recover from a shock of his own, trying to calm his brother down. "Niklaus-"

"I am not giving you my mother's grimoire." Klaus had set his drink down, walking toward where we were all sitting. Smoke might as well have been coming out of his ears. I knew that, if I were one of the three witches sitting across from me, I'd be shitting myself. "After what you tried to do to my family, you expect me to hand over-"

"Niklaus." Elijah cut him off, but more firmly and this time Klaus actually listened, turning to look over at Elijah with hard eyes. His eyes flickered to me for a split second before looking back at Genevieve—or glaring, rather.

While Genevieve looked slightly startled, I saw the dead-set expression on her face. It'd be hard to try and convince her that Esther's grimoire wasn't what the witches wanted, but it was possible.

Gears turned in my head as I thought it over until a quick idea popped into my head. At that moment, I began, "I'm sorry, Genevieve. We can do everything else you mentioned, put it in writing, but Esther Mikaelson's grimoire is a no-go." I saw her shaking her head before I even finished.

"Then no deal-"

Elijah cut in, "Genevieve, please-"

"I can give you the next best thing." I caught Genevieve's attention easily, along with everyone else's in the room. In seconds, I had come up with a quick fix; it was a gamble, but if you aren't willing to go big, then go the fuck home. "I currently have a Bennett grimoire in my possession." I paused, gauging her reaction. Clearly, this night was full of surprises. 

I suppressed the urge to glance over at my relatives; I had a feeling that I already knew what their faces looked like.

Genevieve struggled to compose herself, so I continued, "It's yours, so long as you accept." I understood what was happening here: the witches or the spirits or whatever were already decided, and they wanted the Mikaelson grimoire, but how could they be upset with what I was offering? A Bennett spell book was a damn good replacement if I ever saw one, and if anyone knew that, it was Esther's children themselves.

I knew the history—I've spent my life learning it. Ayana taught Esther everything she knew; the Bennett bloodline was one of the strongest, maybe even stronger than the Mikaelsons. And although I doubt Genevieve knew the lengthy Bennett history, she quickly got her bearings and responded, "I- we accept-"

I cut her off, smiling, "Great. Now our turn." I clasped my hands together. "You guys can keep your sanctuaries, the cemetery and whatnot, but in shared areas like the rest of the Quarter, we ask that you remain peaceful and avoid altercations with other factions. We're asking the same of the other factions, as well. Similarly, the Mikaelsons don't want conflicts, so we'd also like to avoid altercations in that area." 

It seemed pretty simple because it was. It was like what Elijah said to me that night in Rousseau's: everybody wants power, and the witches were no different. They didn't agree to this meeting for peace; they agreed because they wanted power, and the Mikaelsons struck this deal for the same exact reason, even if that's not how the nobleman would've phrased it.

While I didn't provide the witches with the same prepared list of terms, what I was asking for would have the same effect. The Originals were already on top, so what more did they really need to ask for?

Genevieve, once again, looked over at the two girls sitting next to her who both nodded at the silent question she was asking. When she turned back to me, the smallest of smiles was on her lips. "You have yourself a deal."

I reciprocated her expression as we both stood up. I shook her hand. "Pleasure doing business with you. I'll work on getting that contract drafted in more detail, so please, come to us with any other requests you may have."

Genevieve nodded, letting go of my hand, and Elijah took the pleasantries from there, walking them out of the compound. This left Klaus and I alone momentarily.

I looked over at him to see that he was already staring at me. I felt a chill go down my spine from how intently he was looking at me, my mini adrenaline rush dying down. It looked almost like he was picking me apart with his gaze.

I didn't want him to think I had something to hide, so I held his stare. We were both silent until Elijah walked back. This time, he didn't seem to sense the tension in the room—that, or he just chose to ignore it. 

"Thank you, Y/N," he said. I looked away from Klaus to smile in response, but the second I did, he broke his vow of silence.

"How do you have a Bennett grimoire in your possession?" Klaus' voice was cold and accusatory, just as his eyes were. Elijah just might have frozen had he not been a thousand-years-old; hell, I probably would have, too, but I'd already been crafting an explanation as soon as the idea popped into my head.

Not the real explanation, but one that made more sense.

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "I met one a few hundred years ago. She died after she was in the wrong place, wrong time, but she left that book to me."

Klaus didn't look sold. "A Bennett witch left her grimoire with you, a vampire? Not with her family?"

"Well, to be fair, she wasn't in touch with her family at that time," I retorted. "And I was human at the time so, yes, she left it to me because she knew it could come of use one day."

Klaus didn't reply to me, instead choosing to continue staring me down. However, his glare was now lessened, so I knew he sort of believed me, even though he had doubts.

In the time that Klaus wasn't saying anything, Elijah cleared his throat, bringing the attention back to him. When I looked over, he smiled and tried to further de-escalate the situation. "Thank you, again, Y/N."

That was my cue to leave. "No problem. Are you okay with meeting up tomorrow to discuss the contract?"

He nodded. "Of course. Lunch?"

"Sounds great," I said, grabbing my bag that I'd left on the armchair next to me. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Elijah bid me farewell while Klaus remained mute, but I still felt him staring at me, even as I was walking out; only when I'd walked two minutes away from the compound did I finally let go of that feeling

I didn't speed all the way home this time like I had been doing recently after exiting the Abattoir. Instead, I decided to take this time to think since I really haven't gotten a moment alone all day.

The excuse I gave Klaus wasn't too far from the truth—I only warped it slightly. I didn't know who he knew or how well he knew my mother before he slept with her, but I knew that if I gave him the real story, there was a possibility that he'd find out who I was.

The real story was that my mother was best friends with a Bennett. Almost like history repeating itself if you thought about it; Amelia Bennett was to my family what Ayana was to the Mikaelsons. She was both a mentor to my mother and me.

In reality, we were a lot closer than I made it sound. She was a lot closer to my mother than she was with the rest of her family. We were in Salem; the witch trials were just beginning, so any witch in the area was either preparing to leave or to die. She was anticipating the latter, so before she died, she made sure to leave the assets she had to my mother. 

The other Bennetts didn't dispute this, fleeing west. The rest of the story, I try not to think about. I needed to be strong, for Davina, for Marcel, for Amelia, for my mother, and for myself; otherwise, everything I've sacrificed would've been for nothing.

With that thought, I had a new resolution.

This, what I was doing here in New Orleans, could not fail. I have not lived the life I've lived just to fail. So from this moment forward, I decided to be better, to be stronger. No more quivering at the mention of my father or his baby, no more getting shaken up by conversations with the Mikaelsons.

Walking toward my apartment, I made myself a promise.

This city will not break me, no matter what.

[skullhaver]

It's 2021, and I'm watching Buffy for the first time.

The Virgil on my Buffy journey is my long-distance girlfriend, who has loved the show for years. We just finished season 4, and I wanted to write about my favorite episodes so far. I suspect some of my faves are beloved by most fans, but others are weird, personal picks. Buffy fandom, please don't come for me.

I thought this post would be short but I was wrong.

Hono(u)rable Mentions: "Band Candy" S3E6 and "Halloween" S2E6

Both these episodes have fun premises where the Scoobies run around Sunnydale after it was upended by zany, chaotic dark forces. "Band Candy" is fun for devil-may-care teen Giles. "Halloween" is fun for 18th-century-ditz Buffy. These are both very good, and are the sorts of episode I can imagine happily rewatching in the future. I just have more to pontificate upon for the other episodes on this list.

10. "Ted" S2E11

I can’t say I enjoyed this episode, but it did take me for a wild ride. Probably nobody else has strong feelings about this weird story where Buffy's mom dates a stereotypical cheesy family man, who turns out to be a controlling abuser, who turns out to be a robot. I remember shouting at the screen, "Did Buffy just kill a human man?? Is it okay in the moral logic of this show for Buffy to kill a human if he's a direct physical threat to her??" I knew Buffy would have deeper stories than the monster of the week formula we'd seen so far, but this early in season 2, I had no idea when or how that would happen. This was the episode that finally taught me that Buffy is largely not interested in moral ambiguity, or in exploring what it means to be good or bad. Except for season-defining exceptions like Faith and Angel, evil characters are simplistically, essentially evil. But it was wild to believe for a moment that Buffy murdered her mom's abusive boyfriend and would have to live with the consequences.

9. "Helpless" S3E12

When Buffy tries to be genuinely scary, it succeeds with aplomb. The premise of this episode is dumb and contrived ("Giles has to remove Buffy's powers without her knowledge for a seeeecret test by the Watcher's Council") but the chase and fight in this episode are some of the most tense and spooky scenes of the whole series so far. Buffy's vulnerability makes the stakes feel real in a way few other episodes manage. And Buffy's victory is all the more satisfying because she can't punch her way out of this problem, she has to be smart and creative. The fridge horror, of course, is that Giles would endanger her like this in the first place, but that gets sorted out over the emotional arc of the next few episodes.

8. "I Only Have Eyes For You." S2E19

Another spooky episode, this one a classic ghost story of forbidden love ending in murder - but with the twist that the ghosts possess people's bodies to have them reenact their final moments. I love stories about breaking a doomed-to-repeat cycle. I love weird shit like the snakes manifesting in the cafeteria. And I really loved the choice to have Buffy and Angel come to understand their feelings about their own relationship by embodying these ghosts - especially how they embodied different genders than their own to better fit the "roles" of the haunting story, thus subverting the expected pattern. I found this episode clever, poignant, and effective.

7. "Who Are You?" S4E16

"Faith and Buffy switch bodies" is a wild premise, but the real joy of "Who Are You?" is watching Sarah Michelle Geller being an extremely talented actress for 45 minutes, portraying a totally different character. Watching Faith confronted by kindness and love from Buffy's mom, Riley, and her friends, then getting launched into an existential crisis over it is so great. Also, I just dig a good church fight.

6. "Hush" S4E10

As stated above, love an episode that reminds me that these people are talented actors! Featuring demons that render all of Sunnydale unable to talk, we get to watch great physical comedy right next to tense, silent fight scenes. The visual creepiness of the Gentleman and their straight-jacketed weird little helpers is hard to beat. "Hush" is such a clever episode that it ascends monster of the week status to become almost Twilight Zone-esque. Also, for the first time, Buffy sees Riley doing his Initiative thing, and Riley sees Buffy being the Slayer, but they can't talk about it?? That's good shit.

5. "The Wish" S3E9

Both "Something Blue" and "The Wish" feel like the writers decided to use fanfic premises on their own show... so obviously I like them a lot. But getting to watch a dark timeline AU with interesting world-building and attention to detail, a hilarious and horrifying Cordelia POV, AND a smirking kinky vampire Willow? Hello?? And the fact that the Wishverse comes up again in "Doppelgänger" (another truly fun episode) only improves my opinion. I imagine this is the kind of episode fans simply love coming back to.

4. "Restless" S4E22

This David Lynch-ass dream sequence was a weird choice for a season finale, but an extremely ambitious and cool episode. I should say up front that I love David Lynch-ass dream shit. There were creative and well-executed scene transitions as characters moved seamlessly from one dream room into another. Several memorably neat shots - Willow running between endless curtains as she tries to get onstage, Buffy alone in a vast desert with a weirdly high camera angle. And I got myself all excited thinking that the First Slayer would maybe become a different kind of antagonist - maybe not even fully revealed in this episode, or maybe an Id-like aspect of Buffy herself. But I forgot Whedon gonna Whedon, so the First Slayer had to be someone Buffy could punch in the end. And the First Slayer is sadly yet another primitive-themed, emotionally-stunted character of color for this show. Most of her lines in this episode are literally voiced by a white woman speaking for her, and of all the dumb quips to make, Buffy had a line about her hair being unprofessional? Also, I'm a lesbian, so the fact that the most explicit act of intimacy between Willow and Tara this show has allowed us to see occurs in Xander's horny dream sequence... it’s unforgivable, Joss. This episode was one of my favorites ever, deeply marred by some bad writing choices.

3. "Lovers Walk" S3E8

Spike, perhaps the best non-Willow character in this show, is back in Sunnydale, a hilariously heartbroken mess of a man, hell-bent on getting his former girlfriend Drusilla back. (Drusilla left him for a fungus demon.) So Spike breaks into a magic shop to get ingredients for a love spell, where he runs into Willow, who is getting ingredients for a de-lusting spell, because she is worried she and Xander will be too thirsty to behave appropriately in public with their actual partners, Oz and Cordelia. This is a hilarious moment just to exist. This is all the episode needed to do to satisfy me. But the fact that Spike then kidnaps Willow, and it ends with tragic stakes of everyone's relationships coming apart, not to mention me genuinely thinking Cordelia was dead for a minute there - wow. Chef’s kiss. The episode is balanced shockingly well between Spike being an ominous villain, and being the sort of lovable semi-evil (more gremlin-like) side character he'll become in season 4. What a wild ride.

2. "Graduation Day" S3E21-22

I'm counting this two part season finale as one because it's my list and I'll do what I want. "Graduation Day" feels like a quintessential Buffy episode executed to perfection. It has Buffy reaffirming her position as a moral heroine, sacrificing her own blood to save Angel's life even when she thought she had to kill Faith to save him. It has Buffy and Faith (or Buffy/Faith, as I prefer to think of them) getting to square off in a dramatic, tough fight. It has a lot of Mayor Wilkins, a character I truly adore for some reason. Nothing like a public administrator who plays mini golf in his office, wants you to chew with your mouth closed, and will kill a graduating class of high schoolers to gain immortality. The catharsis of the whole school getting to fight back against evil, instead of just Buffy against the world - a real joy. This episode misses the top spot for two reasons. "A special vampire poison and the only cure is the blood of a Slayer" is too contrived for me to let slide, and also I had to see Cordelia and Wesley kiss.

1. "Becoming" S2E21-22

Buffy’s season finales really do have good stories and satisfying payoff. First off, Buffy starts this episode by punching a cop and fleeing from the law. Later, Spike also punches a cop. A.k.a., Buffy said blue lives don't matter. Second - I haven't gotten a chance to comment on this yet, but all throughout season 2, evil Angel is such a joy to watch. As regular Angel, David Boreanaz makes exactly one face ("I am a kicked, angsty puppy") and bless his heart, it gets so tiresome. As evil Angel, he is so expressive, dynamic and terrifyingly creative in his badness. And I love his weird threesome energy with Spike and Drusilla. But also, it's so hard to watch Buffy suffer as she deals with her evil boyfriend doing evil things. Her ultimate choice in this episode, to kill Angel even as Willow's spell restores his soul, gave me some real big feels! Also, this episode marks the first moment of Willow doing big, plot-shifting magic on her own, solidifying her transformation from computer nerd to witch! 

Also, shout-out to the many good smaller moments in this episode: Spike making awkward small talk with Buffy's mom, Buffy constantly dunking on Principle Snyder, and Giles being tortured by visions of Miss Calendar (RIP Miss Calendar, I was your biggest fan.)

"Becoming" is an excellent season finale and the kind of Buffy episode I imagine I will want to re-watch in the future just for nostalgia's sake.

[olivieblake]

Hello Ma'am. I am from Bangladesh. It's a deeply religious and conservative country. Recently a Horrifying Rape Case took place here. The video of it went viral on Facebook 4 weeks later. Only then the criminal were arrested, nothing happened before it. The entire country and I am enraged because of it. Protests are happening. Since it's a religious country people always somehow bring religion into everything. They think islam has the solution to every problem. 😑 Even some of my classmates.

Who are educated and come from good families (some female but mostly male) are saying that, if everyone wears a borkha( u basically look like a black ghost) rape would not happen. Its frustrating to hear that. I have been getting into a lot of arguments about this with them. People here have no concept of consent or sex positivity here. Sex education is nonexistent. I feel very unsafe everywhere. I am 20 years old but my parents still never let me leave the house alone because of such incidents. I can't join the protests because of that. My girl friends are in the same situation. I don't know why I am telling you this. Just wanted to share it with someone who is liberal and I always really respected you and your work. You are like a big sister on the internet. Sorry for dumping all of this on you. English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes. Take care.

this is horrible, I’m so sorry. here is an article for anyone else who would like to inform themselves about what’s going on, although TW, it is horrific. the most important thing to note for the audience who may be less informed about bangladeshi politics (including me) is this is not an isolated incident, but a symptom of increasing violence against women—which unfortunately seems to be universal. the lack of sex education, lack of information about consent... our biggest failure on the whole has never been allowing our daughters too much freedom, but endangering them by failing to educate our sons.

I have a real struggle with conservative religious cultures; I want very badly not to say anything to disrespect your/your family’s beliefs, especially because I don’t claim to know anything about what is beyond this world. the whole thing about being human is how little we will ever know, and to claim I know better than anything divine is clearly idiotic. I will never be capable of understanding how the universe works. but in my interpretation, most religions are institutionally and dangerously hegemonic due to those who enact their theology: men. HUMAN men! and because humans are flawed and self-interested and not remotely divine, so is religion. inherently so. it is a product of silly, helpless creatures (us) who cannot actually fathom any god’s will. this is not fully relevant, but I am obviously treading carefully with this topic and I wanted you to understand my train of thought

it is frustrating and angering that anyone should ever believe it is a woman’s job to be undesirable when it should be obvious that men are the ones making the conscious choice whether or not to rape. how can this even be a question? I understand a woman choosing to wear a burka if modesty is empowering to her sense of self; having now worn a mask at all times for half a year, I understand and honor that choice in a way I didn’t before. choosing which parts of yourself to show to the world and when to reveal it to others is powerful, and when modesty is chosen for the sake of autonomy, I support it completely. but the worst misconception is clearly about what causes rape; it’s not temptation! it’s not beauty! it’s nothing at all about the woman who suffers the violence! it’s about power, a need to dominate someone weak in order to feel strong, and there is no religious theology to my knowledge that would call that anything but a sin. a predominantly male sin. 

I know I don’t need to tell you that, and I know you know there’s nothing I can tell you, but I am so frustrated for you. I am frustrated with you, next to you!! there’s nothing more discouraging or disillusioning than to feel powerless, and I can see that you do. I do, too! my country’s religion is really no different in terms of callousness and abject hypocrisy. imagine thinking that any god who forgives and loves his creations would believe the solution was to give one group power to hurt the others. the religious belief that people are inherently sinful only serves to reinforce power and authority, and just that concept alone is in defiance of an omnipotent god, don’t you think? I always think about this. religion was born from a time when humanity was predominantly uneducated, when morals had to be imposed because little else was codified, but at this point how can any of us fail to see that religious beliefs that bolster the supremacy of one group (the group that cOnVeNiEntLy happens to be the one doing the interpreting) over others is not about righteousness, but power and control?

I hope that informing people about what’s going on will be helpful. I’m sorry that US politics dominate the news so much; we are a disaster that forces other people to look. but I hope that sharing this will help you feel you’re not alone, because we’re with you. 

[ayeshintheclouds]

I watched Never Have I Ever!! And I have many many thoughts. Just about on every aspect of it so oops this might be kinda long. But I like having somewhere public to post it cuz I don’t have to be apologetic and guilty about making it long, cuz if I was texting someone id feel as if I’m making them obligated to read so much.

Anyways!

Overall, I quite enjoyed the show! There’s a lot of controversy around it, i keep saying a lot of indian girls complaining about being misrepresented. Which I agree that they have a right to, because it’s the first time we’ve ever gotten a main character representing us, and we can’t help but hold her to a higher standard. But I’m trying to look past that a little, past the stereotypes and see it more by itself in terms of a plot and character development rather than just the cultural standpoint.

In no particular order, here are some opinions about the show and characters:

I loved the realistic arguments they show the night of her dad’s death. Honestly, they were a bit jarring how similar they are to our family, and how sometimes under pressure everyone kinda turns on each other and doesn’t get along. I thought that was a really realistic scene how a little thing like losing a music sheet ends up turning into a lot of unnecessary drama.

I love Paxton! I still absolutely can’t decide who I ship more with Devi but I do love his character. He genuinely does care for his sister, and he’s so quick to sacrifice his pride and call Devi when his sister needs help, even though he’s really mad at Devi rn. I think it’s adorable that his sister even gives him relationship advice. And Paxton is genuinely such a good friend, although he’s tryna be all cool and stuff, he encouraged her to be herself in her indian dress and I hate how Devi disregards his whole personality and only wants him physically. It upset me that she only saw him as some status symbol to obtain, never really an actual human with feelings. He deserved better, so although I love him, I’m not sure I ship him with her after she kinda used him the whole show.

The car ride scene!!! With Paxton and Devi! Ok I watched this scene approximately a bajillion times! I think it might be my favorite moment in the whole show. I love everything about it, the subtle glances they cast each other the entire time, the neon lights as they drive through the city, the way for once in the show she seems somewhat like emotionally vulnerable and nervous rather than brash and hot headed. The music was beautiful too.

I love Fab and Eleanor!!! I love their stories and I’m so so glad they got the attention from the show at least since they didn’t get it from Devi. Fab is literally so adorable and I just wanted to hug her🥺 Eleanor’s mom made me so frikin mad and I’m truly really glad Eleanor learned to live without her and how Fab helps her deal with it. I know it’s pretty dramatic how she stays dressing all different and changing her personality, but I related to that so much:(when someone hurts me or walks out on me, it makes me feel not like myself anymore, and I often visibly and noticeably change my attitude and behavior for a while before springing back.

The Kamala plotline!!! Uhhhhh ok very mixed feelings. I thought Steve was adorable. They just discarded him when he was an absolute sweetheart and it made me so sad for him🥺poor Steve. I do like that they’re actually showing arranged marriage for what it is though. In my opinion it is a very traditional and flawed procedure, as we see when Devi’s mom has kamala wear a certain outfit and has her hide the career part of her personality, to try to be a certain way she’s not. BUT I think i am glad that they didn’t show it as something forced upon her, like she’s being married off against her will to some creep she’s never ever met. It’s more like a blind date but arranged by parents. And although she is pretty pressured into it, she has the power to back out any time (even if it’ll somewhat outcast her). And I like that they decide to continue their relationship but on their own terms and he likes her for who she is. I think overall it’s a pretty solid and realistic representation of arranged marriage: a very traditional way of doing things with many flaws, but not forced or oppressive or morally wrong in any way, and can usually work out quite nicely many times. Except why’d they break poor Steve’s heart like that:(((

Ben. Ok Ben grew on me a lot through the show. He was such a complex and interesting character and I thought his development was so amazingly done. I thought he was truly such a sweet soul for doing all that he did for her, letting her stay over, convincing her to spread the ashes, driving her there so fast. I almost feel like he doesn’t deserve her either😂. And hhfjdndndnd I really don’t know how to feel about that end scene that was wild omg. But romance aside. Ben is such a well written character and I think he really was neglected by his family and I really hope that changes or he finds a family in Devi’s.

I know her parents and the therapist were side characters. But I think they’re pretty cool. I like the really sweet relationship her parents had. It was so typical indian parents yet adorable. The motorcycle ride and the comforting scene🥺 I love them a lot they remind me of my own parents. And I think her mom is infinitely strong for dealing with the death of her soulmate and Devi being so absolutely difficult. I think the therapist was extremely patient and the scenes with her were hilarious. I loved most about her how genuine she was. No therapist irl would care enough for the patients health that they would so blatantly disagree with them and even suggest they find someone else if it’ll help them. They would never risk losing the money and offending the client. I once heard someone say that they’d love to be a child therapist cuz all they have to do is agree with everything the kids say, be like “aw yeah the world hates u ur parents hate u, ur right” like feed into their teen angst, and the kid convinces their parents to keep paying for your services. But Dr Ryan is like a mother. She just wants what’s best for Devi, and she’s willing to sacrifice her own profit for it.

Ok I guess I should probably talk about my biggest issue with the show which is Devi. I kinda hate her😭I tried so hard I really did but I genuinely cannot bring myself to like her character. I don’t agree with almost any of her actions and her behavior upset me a lot. And pls you don’t understand she nearly killed me with second hand embarrassment the first episode in approaching Paxton like that aaAAAA Like I was basically watching through my hands at that point. I know she’s going through so much, she really has a lot of trauma and grief. But I can’t help but feel like the way she handles it is not very realistic at all, cuz I know people with trauma and they would never use it to justify the awful things she does. I know that everyone grieves differently and everyone has different coping mechanisms, but I just cannot bring myself to like her. Coping mechanisms that hurt others immensely are so unhealthy and I feel like she should’ve at least redeemed herself somehow. Maybe I sympathized with her at some points. But never liked her. I think she was disgusting to her friends, she always assumed her problems mattered more than theirs despite Fab and Eleanor having such heavy stuff happening. She didn’t even bother caring, and I’m convinced the only reason she even came back and tried to make it up was because of her own selfish reasons: she didn’t want to be lonely and friendless (she literally admits that!) and she’s jealous of that new kid they’re friends with. She does not seem at any point to actually care for their feelings as humans, and treats them like status symbols, two objects she owns to show people she has a social life. She reminds me of Greg from Diary of a Wimpy Kid and not in a good way; he was so awful to Rowley and obsessed with popularity and narcissistic Blegh. Also with Paxton like I mentioned before, she only cares about his body and popularity and literally does not care for his friendship and personality the slightest bit. I think it was disgusting that she lied about sleeping with him like that, cuz it may have been manageable to him, but for a lot of people, that’s like a pretty messed up thing and I don’t think they’d want to be friends with someone who was that creepy and a blatant liar. The stuff she said to her mom about wishing she was dead, that absolutely broke my heart. I can’t imagine being her mother in that moment and hearing your daughter say something like that after losing the love of your life. I think that would be like the worst thing to say to someone grieving, and might potentially endanger their mental health. I was truly worried for her mom, even though I know it wouldn’t be that type of show. Honestly. The only reason I don’t like full on despise her and think she’s irredeemable is because I pity her so much. She lost her dad and wasn’t able to walk for a year. That’s a lot of pain. But truly, like Fab said, it’s not a free pass to be a jerk. And a character shouldn’t be written in a way that their only redeemable quality is that u pity them to hold them less accountable for their actions.

Overall I enjoyed the show!! Minus devi😭but besides that, I’m so glad we’re getting some representation and there’s a new really cute and fresh show to watch during quarantine. I NEED A SEASON TWO SO BAD PLS and I really really hope Devi grows up a bit more in it and maybe I’ll start to like her:)

[lovemesomesurveys]

What’s your hair like? A mess. It’s long, wavy, and a mix of my natural dark brown hair and the red that I dye it because it’s been several months since I’ve gotten my hair done and my roots are very overgrown. It also needs a trim. Is there someone you can’t help but stare at? Alexander Skarsgard. How do you feel about teenagers claiming to be in love? It’s hard for me to understand because I can’t imagine feeling that at such a young age and I kind of feel like it’s easy to get caught up in the emotions and lust due to hormones, and I wonder if they know what it really means, but who am I to say what they feel? To them it’s real, they’re the ones feeling it. Plus, I’m almost 30 and I’m not sure I even really know what it means or if I’ve ever actually been in love. I thought so, but I’m not so sure now. Are you dating anyone? If so, for how long? No. Do you believe in long distance relationships? They work for some people. I’ve never had one.

Do you have unlimited texting? Yes, even though I hardly ever text. What’s your favorite button on the keyboard? All the ones I use. Do you like your handwriting? No, it’s awful. Your biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, dying, never amounting to anything or never doing anything with my life, things getting worse or never getting better... What’s on your walls? Some posters/paintings and decals. Do you like perfume? Yeah, some. Are you a guy or a girl? Girl. Do you prefer to have girls as friends or guys? I don’t really have a preference. If we vibe, we vibe.  What’s the top thing you look for in a S.O.? Someone who is patient, understanding, caring, and kind are especially important to me. Last words you heard and from who? My mom saying “goodnight.” Why do people cheat on each other? There’s a variety of reasons.

What’s your favorite brand of pencil? I don’t have one. Do you wake up by an alarm clock? If so, isn’t the BEEEEEP annoying? Yes, but it’s not a “BEEEEEP”, it’s something I chose from the options on my phone. It’s like an instrumental song type one. The last song you listened to? I have Señorita by Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello stuck in my head. The person you go to for advice? If anyone, my mom. Are you one of those people who just HAS to vent to somebody in some form? No. I don’t like doing that with people. I hate burdening others with my stuff and unloading on them, so I don’t do it much. I save that mostly for surveys and Twitter. Do you have Myspace, facebook, and myyearbook? I have all 3, but only my Facebook is active. I haven’t used Myspace or myyearbook in like 10 years, myyearbook even longer, but my account still exists out there. I don’t recal using myyearbook much, I think I just signed up to check it out. How do you feel about avril lavigne? I like some of her songs. I haven’t listened to her music in awhile, though. I wonder what happened to her. Don’t you hate it when people don’t say your name right? Nah. Now and then someone will mispronounce my last name, which I don’t understand, but I don’t hate it. It rarely happens.  Have you heard of Paramore? If not, look them up. :) Yes, I’ve known of them for years. I actually saw them in concert once as well. Who’s your favorite sibling? I don’t like choosing favorites when it comes to family members. I’m closer to my younger brother. Favorite Parent? I’m closer to my mom.  What do you want to do for a living? I don’t know. :/

Do you know anyone with down syndrome? No. Does anyone you know have a birthday this week? Mine is tomorrow.  What do you think of the middle name ‘Jane’? I don’t think anything about it. What’s your favorite name in the opposite gender? Alexander. Can you keep eye contact with everyone? I find it awkward to hold it too long at once, like I’ll look away for a bit and then look back and so on. What color are your eyes? Brown. Do you curl or straighten your hair? It’s been like 3 years at least since I last straightened my hair myself. When I get my hair done my hair stylist straightens it, but it’s been almost a year since I got my hair done. :X Pro-life or pro-choice? Why? What shape is your favorite bowl? Bowl shape?  Did you know the Salvation army was a church, too? I think I’ve heard that before. I hate winter. What’s your least favorite season? Ugh, SUMMER.

Do you know the difference between a hoodie and a jacket with a hood? A hoodie is more thin/lightweight.  Do you belive in 'hating’ anyone? I don’t hate anyone. Do you like Twilight? I was really into it when the books were still coming out and then the movies, but I outgrew it. Do you know the difference between loving someone and being in love? Yes. I’m not in love with a family member, but I love them. What animal that is endangered is your favorite? Giraffes. :( How do you believe the Earth and life on it was created? God. What’s your religion? Christianity. How many fingers do you have? * 10 (dont u come @ me w that “”“thumbs”“” bullsh*t either, lmao. They'are ALL fingers) <<<< Hahah. I say the same thing. Don’t get all technical with me! What about toes? 10. Do you like your teeth? No. Do you need glasses or contacts? I wear glasses. Have you considered getting contacts that change your eyecolor? What color? It’s cool, but the idea of putting in contacts freaks me out. I also prefer wearing glasses anyway.  Do you have allergies? Yes. Have you ever made a quiz? Don’t you love it when you’re on a roll? Once, a long time ago. Like pre-Tumblr days. What time zone are you in? Pacific.  Do you wish you lived some where else? Yes. Sometimes don’t you wish you could move away and start over? Yes, but unfortunately my problems would follow me. It would be nice to live somewhere else, though. I hate this city. What’s the craziest color you’ve seen on a house? I’ve seen pink, yellow, purple, and blue houses. Do you like the name Trevor? Eh. How do you pronounce Bzoink? Biz-oink. Is Taylor Swift better than the rest of the teen singers? I’m not a fan of Taylor Swift.  What time will it be in 3 hours and 2 minutes? 7:14AM. What’s your favorite brand of cereal? General Mills, Kellogs, and Post. Do you like to read? Yes. What’s your GPA? I’m doneeee with school. Isn’t annoying when you’re friends are different around different people? Depends on how they’re being different. I did have a friend who was completely different and not in a good way. Do you want a phone with a keyboard? I have a touch screen phone. Do you go to church but you aren’t sure if you believe in God? I don’t go to church right now, but I do believe in God.  What grade are you in? I’m done with school, remember? Are you shorter then most of your friends? Yes, all of them. Do you prefer a S.O. older or younger? By how much? A bit older. Like up to 5 years at most, I’d say. I just feel like the older I get; though, the harder it’ll be to find someone. I’m almost 30, but I feel so...stunted and behind in life. Someone in their mid 30s would likely be in a much different place in life and be further ahead. I don’t know if they’d want to date me with where I am in life. Do you like popcorn? I love movie theater buttered popcorn. I also love this garlic parm seasoning I get put on it at this one theater we go to. SO good. Why does corn get chewed up but come out in the original form? Ew. Are you pessimistic or optimistic? Very pessimistic. What number do you think you’re on? I’m not counting. That was # 76. What’s your bestie’s name? Was it really? Wow. Anyway, her name is Yolanda.  What size shoe do you wear? 6 in women’s.  Do you like lollipops? Nah. Don’t you hate the texture of lotion on your skin? No. Well, unless it’s like greasy. Favorite movie? I have a lot. How many words per minute do you type? I don’t know. Do you think it’s possible to meet your bestie online? I don’t have a bestie online. Do you blog or write in a journal? This is my blog and journal. Isn’t health class annoying? I didn’t find it annoying. Who’s your favorite teacher, if any? What internet browser do you use? Chrome.  Isn’t it weird to like having butterflies? No? The good butterfly feeling is nice, like the kind you get when you’re excited or you like someone.  What’s the longest flower name you can think of? *shrug* What year were you born in? 1989. What time is it, backwards? 91:4. If you had to shorten your name to 4 letters, what would it be? Step. Sam; a femine name or a male name? Whatever. What’s the prettiest cat you have seen?  All the cats I’ve ever seen.

[beanmaster-pika]

I ended up getting encouraged to talk about my aus so thank you all for enabling my self-indulgence

Swan Prince AU

This one’s the first one? And it’s more of a royalty AU, actually. Licht vacations in the Servamp kingdom every summer but one day he gets cursed by an evil magician (Touma) to turn into a swan. Hyde, who’s the same age as him and therefore his designated playmate when they were kids, recognizes it’s him and freaks out because if the Jekylland kingdom finds out they let this happen then there could be a war and no one wants that thank you very much.

I’m actually more interested in worldbuilding than the plot so :/ For reasons I have not thought up, there’s the ‘older bunch’ of Servamps (Kuro to Freya) and the ‘younger bunch’ (Hyde to Lily) and there’s like a ten-year age gap between the olders and the youngers, and then there’s Tsubaki, who’s twelve and illegitimate. Kuro inherited the throne at 17 when their dad disappeared and by the time Tsubaki’s mother showed up a couple years after with a baby that had the last king’s eyes, the kingdom had stagnated. However, a baker named Mahiru starts showing up at the castle to petition the king, and he appears so frequently and his words are so sensible (”He’s got to have studied statecraft,” Hugh declared. “There’s no way he hasn’t.”) that Kuro’s siblings up and offer him a job as the king’s advisor. After many arguments and finally a heart-to-heart where Mahiru learns that the last king once allowed Kuro to make a decision that almost led the whole country to war, they start to work towards understanding each other and cooperating and it’s tough, but by the time the present story rolls around the kingdom is flourishing. 

The older bunch all hold a place in court; Hugh is a minister of internal affairs, and he, Kuro, and Mahiru are at the heart of the kingdom’s laws; Jeje is the most knowledgeable about magic, especially curses, and works as both a consultant and investigator, though he’s sent to the Alicein kingdom along with Lily (16 at the time of the story, two years younger than Hyde) to serve as ambassadors and tutors to the king’s sons; and Freya’s the head of the army and the most terrifying person in the kingdom. The people love her. There’s a more even distribution of power than there was before Kuro inherited the throne - Mahiru’s influence and Kuro’s reluctance to be in charge of literally everything see to that - and provincial courts have juries put in place so that people are no longer solely at the mercy of sometimes corrupt judges.

On a different note, Hyde starts out as a sweet kid, but when his friend-and-maybe-crush Princess Ophelia two kingdoms over dies when he’s sixteen he goes wild in his grief and takes up with a group of bandits and starts hurting people. When confronted by his siblings, he declares that if the world is so cruel as to take Ophelia’s life, then his actions are just a drop in the bucket. Now, this is very much wrong and a problem, so Kuro manages to seal him temporarily into hedgehog form for a month (EDIT: yes he can normally transform into a hedgehog, no Licht doesn’t know at first, yes animal transformation is a common ability in their kingdom, and no the sealing is not a common or easy practice. It’s legitimate grounds for Kuro to self-prescribe absolute bed rest in order to recover from the drain on his energy, and he’s stronger than normal mages and had assistance to boot; a month is the very limit he can achieve with that) saying that if he’s lost his grasp on his humanity, then perhaps he’ll find it again in an inhuman form, and then they drop him off at the summer villa reserved for Prince Licht with Guildenstern as a caretaker. Now, unbeknownst to everyone, Licht arrived for vacation even though it’s midwinter, and he is absolutely taken with the hedgehog that’s wandering through the villa (”Oh Shit,” Guildenstern said. Hyde agreed. This was very much an Oh Shit situation.). It turns out that while he hadn’t known Princess Ophelia personally, he’d had mad respect for her for stepping up to enact a change in her kingdom’s politics even though it had ended in her assassination. He and Hyde end up having furious arguments over ideology (Licht still doesn’t know that Hyde’s there, and he doesn’t connect the voice with the hedgehog) and in the end, he helps Hyde regain his humanity - to be human is to desire, to desire is to dream, and to dream is to push your imagination past its very limits and work for it. That ends up breaking the seal prematurely, much to everyone but Licht’s relief. Licht’s pissed that the hedgehog turned out to be Hyde. And when Licht is cursed to be a swan, well, Hyde’s worried about it affecting relations with the Jekylland kingdom, yeah, but he also wants to do for Licht what Licht did for him: make him human again.

ANYWAY HERE’S THE DOODLES

Teacher AU

Because now they’re teachers.

This one has basically nothing in it yet aside from it being fun to consider what subjects they’d teach (Mahiru’s home ec; Kuro’s phys ed; Hugh’s history; Jeje’s art; Freya’s a counselor; Hyde’s literature; World End’s either a history or foreign language teacher; Lily’s a student teacher; Licht’s a piano instructor now; Otogiri’s the school’s doctor) and what everyone else would be (Tsurugi and squad are bodyguards; Iduna’s an engineer; Tsuyuki’s with the government; Sham’s with the government; Higan’s a wandering artist; Sakuya’s a psychologist; Ryuusei and Koyuki haven’t factored in at all oops; everyone else either has their canon profession or they’re college or high school students). One of the tidbits I actually spared thought to is that Kuro took a couple gap years and ended up in the same freshman Psych 101 class as Sakuya (who at present shares an apartment with Mahiru) and they somehow bonded and even after the class ended they became texting buddies (usually of memes) and hung out from time to time, but then Mahiru (after getting fired from his first school for some sort of reckless behavior) gets hired to the school all the Servamps are gathered at and starts out pretty argumentative with Kuro but eventually they gain a mutual understanding and maybe the beginnings of a relationship and Sakuya puts two and two together from conversations with Mahiru and texting with Kuro that the man he’s in love with might be in love with his texting buddy and he doesn’t know how to deal with that and so stops texting Kuro, and Kuro finds out about it from talking to Mahiru and then this happens

Kuro, throwing a chicken nugget at Sakuya’s window: why are u ghosting me Sakuya, opening the window: can u throw another

And they talk and all is well again. A poly ending is absolutely in the stars because Mahiru loves them both and they agree to it.

Also the other thing is this

Pokemon AU

This is the one I like the most right now! I actually have a couple of chapters written for it that I haven’t posted yet but basically the whole Servamp thing remains, but the pokemon that they transform into actually have their own personalities - rather than a transformation, it’s a shared body thing, and the human form is a manifestation of the vampire (formerly human) soul. I haven’t ironed out all the details of why this is happening, but I like the idea of them never being alone, though I haven’t figured out quite how this will change them. Hyde’s gonna be fun and also painful to figure out.

Fate AU

LET’S GET THIS HOLY GRAIL BREAD

Mahiru’s uncle was going to take part in the holy grail war but Mahiru accidentally summoned instead and what he summoned was Kuro, a Lancer. Add to that that Sakuya is still his best friend, was meant to be a pawn of Touma’s but ended up being Master-napped by the Saber he summoned (Tsubaki), and Tsubaki wants vengeance on Kuro, and we’ve got another round of heartbreaks on our hands because Fate is nothing but heartbreaks. The Alicein brothers are also there, summoning the same Servants (Caster and Archer) that their grandfather and Mikuni’s mom summoned, and they know that the Grail is tainted so they’re out to destroy it. Their backstory is a little tweaked with Mikuni just stealing his mom’s command seals to protect Misono instead of killing her, and he grabs Misono and absconds to the Church where they stay until Mikage ensures that Mikuni’s mom can never hurt Misono again after the War. Misono goes home, but Mikuni goes to study at the Clock Tower and comes back just in time for the next war. (There’s more under the pictures)

Tetsu summons Rider, but his sisters are the masterminds of the operation; they’re doing their best to restore their family in an age of declining mana, and Tetsu’s got the best Magic Circuits among them so he’s tasked with summoning, but they’re operating under the strict principle that if any of their lives are endangered, especially Tetsu’s, then they halt the project immediately and seek refuge with the Church. Hugh’s hyped about the whole ‘restoring the family’s magic’ thing.

Licht, on the other hand, comes from a family that’s at the very height of their magical power. He doesn’t believe in an omnipotent wish granter because he feels that it’s cheating, but to win the Grail is the goal of every mage out there so he’s in it for the glory. For a summoning catalyst he uses a bracelet that was supposed to belong to a martyr princess of old (”She gave her life for her goals,” Licht said in awe. “Yep, it’s very impressive. Please do not do the same,” Licht’s mother said.), but it turned out to belong to the other person connected to her legend, a man who was terrible and cruel, uncaring of others after he was driven mad in grief, and so Licht summons a demon of an assassin and Crantz (regular human) is left babysitting these goons while Licht’s parents hold down the fort in Austria.

Now, the Berserker team. I just want you all to know that the ones I was most excited about is the Berserker team. Tsurugi carried out the summoning here, Touma’s other pawn, and he added a madness enhancement, changing Freya’s class from Shielder to Berserker. Tsurugi, unlike Sakuya, is a highly trained operative and adult and one of the Church’s Executors, and he’s also completely under Touma’s thumb so he’s an ideal proxy even though Touma couldn’t snatch Sakuya’s command seals like he intended to. Unfortunately, Freya’s madness has just released her inhibitions and she’s this fucking close to pulling a Tsubaki and Master-napping Tsurugi. She does her best - in her limited capacity - to get Tsurugi away from Touma and it all culminates in Touma deciding she’s too much of a loose cannon and trying to take Tsurugi’s command seals away, but the seals instead go to Iduna somehow (haven’t figured that out yet) and Iduna and Freya spirit Tsurugi away to help him recover. Shortly after Iduna develops a magic item that’ll dampen the effect of the madness enhancement, more or less reverting Freya to her original class.

Now, this Grail War is an absolute clusterfuck by this point, mostly because all the summoned Servants are siblings, so a Ruler comes in - drum roll please - World End! Because who better to solve a sibling squabble than another sibling, even if he is the third youngest. This is mostly because I want World End to be included in stuff. World End’s in my Pokemon AU. I failed to elaborate on that but since that’s the AU I’m actually writing it’s all good. Anyway they’re all gathered in a sort of war council at a family restaurant to work out their intense family issues and then World barges in ‘WHAT’S UP THIS IS A PRETTY AWKWARD REUNION.’

This actually might be one of my favorites on account of being able to have them all be different physical ages but keeping their age hierarchy since Heroic Spirits can be summoned at whichever point of their lives was significant, and also this means that I can just make up lore for them. In ten, twenty years I’m probably going to look back on this and groan but for now I’m going to have fun with it.

For Kuro, he took down an entire army on his own at age eighteen and then retreated from the world. Hugh stopped a war when he was small (this threat of war surfaced again when he was older; this was when Kuro took down a whole army). Jeje became a famous outlaw. Freya overthrew a government in order to protect her soldiers. Hyde served a princess, but she gave her life for peace, and shortly afterwards his older brother killed their father; Hyde turned cold and cruel after that. World End inherited his sister’s kingdom after she died in battle and stood strong against threats from other kingdoms, displaying sharp wisdom despite his brash personality. Snow Lily used his illusions to carry out a large scale rescue operation on a child trafficking ring. And Tsubaki? Tsubaki was but a man who inherited a sword from his father, then vanished into the night when that same father was killed. He could have - should have - been summoned as an avenger, but for the sake of story convenience and keeping the war to the traditional seven classes, I chose saber for him.

[leezardweezard]

any of the ones u wanna answer and/or are comfortable to

Thanks man!!!!!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Inconceivable

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgivethem?

No, but maybe someday I’m not sure yet

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Cats?? Was I supposed to think of something more specific

4: what’s something you really want right now?

I would like to be on T, that’d be cool. Also I really want to be rich at all times of the day everyday.

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

No?? I used to think I was until I figured out being aro was a thing now I’m pretty indifferent.

6: do you like the beach?

I am. So tired. Of the beach. “It must be nice to live by the beach, the ocean’s so beautiful.” Imagine a good tv show that you like. Pick a few episodes of that show. Now watch that show everyday in summer for years because your parents can’t really afford to drive an hour away just to entertain you and you only have one friend that invites you to their house and your town has the entertainment value of a blank wall you aren’t allowed to draw on so you go. To the beach. You get tired real fast.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

With someone else? Don’t think so. Unless you count those couches that are also pull-out beds then yes.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

Just the default background it came with. 

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, my two little brother’s, and a hotel bed.

10: do you like your phone?

Yeah

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Nope

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

Probably rottweiler I know a dog who’s a rottweiler mix she’s so cute!! I love her. She’s a very strong girl.

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

I think I’d have to say emotional. Physical pain can sometimes come with emotional pain, but when it doesn’t it’s less bad for me.

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Probably zoo.

16: are you tired?

I am ALWAYS tired.

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

A couple years I think?

18: are they a relative?

No, it’s actually my brother’s friend’s mom. I try to keep the numbers of their moms so that if I’m babysitting I can call them.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with anyof your exes?

I don’t have exes.

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared akiss with?

Months ago.

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marrythem today?

Hell nah. I’m a child. 

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

None.

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

Nope.

26: do you have any tattoos?

No, but I’d like some. I want my first one to be of a cryptid. Not mothman, that’ll be my second one.

27: what is your favorite color?

I like the greens you can see on peacock feathers? Don’t know what it’s called. I like green.

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Never I don’t know

29: who are you texting?

Nobody. You know who texts me the most? My brother and I live with him.

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissedthem on a couch?

No, what’s with this thing with couches?

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going tohappen and you were right?

Well yes. 

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talkto?

Yeah but we don’t talk frequently.

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Right now? No.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Maybe I don’t know.

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone rightin front of you?

I would not give a single fuck. Actually he’s been missing for a while I would have to call someone.

36: were you single on valentines day?

Very happily so.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

No I used to be when I was small though.

38: what do your friends call you

Ari.

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yes.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

I don’t think so.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

Don’t have any bruises right now.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My dad

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

I do. Unfortunately they have been thrown away but they were my favorite.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No I inflict my horrible hair upon the world.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Probably not I wouldn’t look good like that.

48: do you make supper for your family?

Sometimes.

49: does your bedroom have a door?

Yes thank god.

50: top 3 web-pages?

Netflix, Akinator because why not, and facebook. Not tunglr because I actually take month long breaks from it.

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

I am the one who hates shopping. It is me.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Yes.

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

Not really? People usually just kinda leave the only people I’ve said goodbye to are my relatives and that’s not hard.

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Hot chocolate.

55: how is your hair?

It could be better.

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

Sleep.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

Um sure why not.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

I was six.

59: green or purple grapes?

Green allll the way. Yeah they’re more sour but that’s why.

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

No idea.

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Not really I’m pretty comfortable on my bed.

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

Probably to ask my brother to get of Netflix, he’s a total Netflix hog.

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

In my house.

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

Probably sleeping.

66: is there one person in your life that can always makeyou smile?

Yeah you, u nerd.

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

No.

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed lastnight?

I hope I don’t have nightmares and guess what! I didn’t! Though it was a weird dream.

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gottendisappointed in the end?

Probably just can’t remember how.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

Five.

71: how many fingers do you have?

Ten if you count the thumb which some people don’t but I don’t really care it’s attached to my hand.

72: what is your ringtone?

Nothing special.

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

Just plain ol’ sixteen. The same age I am now.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends withtwo years ago?

No.

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

I,, do not think so.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Probably?? I have been a baby you know I’ve probably been rocked to sleep or something.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

I’m going to assume this is romantically so none. Unromantically? Lots.

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3days?

Yes? I live with my family sometimes I’ll be changing and someone will barge into my room and I’ll say get out and they will it happens often???

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

You know it’d be so much easier if they replaced like with “have feelings for” then I wouldn’t get so confused.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of yourcar window, you’re with?

Is this a question? First of all me being drunk is barely a scenario, me being drunk in a car is definitely not happening even if I’m not driving, and me catcalling people would never ever happen.

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last timeyou went to see a movie?

Nothing we sat and enjoyed the movie.

87: who was your last received call from?

My dad.

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over acandle, would you?

Um depends on what type of butterfly. One thousand dollars is one thousand dollars but I would never kill an endangered species or a rare one.

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

Money. Also friends that’d be nice.

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

Yah.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

My dad makes me.

92: do you get along with girls?

Yes? A majority of my friends growing up were girls.

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to knowthe truth?

If I’m keeping a secret, they usually don’t need to know it.

94: does sex mean love?

Absolutely not.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

Nope.

97: did you sleep alone this week?

Like for the entire week? Because when you go to a hotel and you have two brothers and two parents you kinda have to share.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Um sure?? Friendships are gr8

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

Noo I actually hate the concept

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Probably one of my brothers and it was probably about food, ngl.

[earthstory]

A Personal Earth Day Retrospective

On the first Earth Day, in 1970, I was an idealistic, angst-ridden 7th grader and budding (pun intended) feminist. Which, as you can imagine, made me wildly popular with my peers in Southeast Texas. As I grew older, America’s role in Vietnam ended, and the ‘70’s progressed, I listened more to John Denver than I did to rock and roll and became more and more conscious of the environment. I preached about it to a lot of people. Again, this did not make me popular. There were no local celebrations of Earth Day. Recycling meant taking the glass bottles from soft drinks (sodas, pop, etc.) down to the little store at the end of the street and getting a nickel for each one. Having grown up during the Depression, my parents, like others of their generation, were frugal and didn’t throw much away. Things were either fixed when they were broken, or used until they fell completely apart. With 7 kids in the family, we certainly lived the “reuse” part of “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle”. Hand-me-downs were a prominent part of our lives. Now that several decades have passed, a lot of what was an oddity to be scoffed at back then (or something that “only those hippies in California” would do), has become embedded in many of our lives.

I did not actually get to participate in Earth Day until I began teaching Environmental Science in the mid-‘80’s and planned activities for the science students where I taught. I was in the pilot group of Texas teachers that were first granted credential endorsements by the state to teach Environmental Science at the high school level. “Save the Rainforest,” was the main environmental focus (and the fashion) in the 1980’s. My students and I built a rainforest (ironically, using a lot of paper) in the hallway outside my classroom, complete with sound effects and green cellophane covering the light fixtures. The bells would ring to signal the end of classes and students would pour out into the halls and walk to class through our forest. We were written about not just in the school newspaper, but also the local papers in Pasadena, Texas that year (that was exciting back then). Guest speakers included a parent who did wildlife rehabilitation and brought along some of the animals she cared for and a U.S. Fish & Wildlife officer who worked, along with U.S. Customs agents, confiscating illegal contraband made from threatened and endangered species. She would bring samples of contraband taken at the Port of Houston or Houston Intercontinental Airport and tell the students and teachers tales of folks who willingly or sometimes unknowingly, brought illegal animal products from abroad. My kids would shake their heads in disbelief at the story of a man who, having had one pair of ostrich skin boots confiscated by Customs, pulled a second pair out of his luggage. He lost that pair too and walked out of the airport in his socks.

Over the years and at other schools, my students built outdoor nature areas, dug ponds, planted marsh grass, did water quality testing, worked with Habitat for Humanity painting walls and planting trees at new properties (the kids weren’t old enough to participate in construction), ran recycling programs, and acted as guides as Earth Day activities expanded to include the entire campus. Our most exciting Earth Day was the year that a representative of the company overseeing our local toxic waste dump came to speak. Her uplifting message of building a park on top of the site (never happened) was followed by the local woman who organized the community to demand it be made a Super Fund cleanup site (It was eventually just sealed and monitored). Fortunately, we managed to not let the two women come into contact with one another. (It would have been fun, but ultimately would have gotten us in trouble with the school district.) That same year, a friend who was part of NASA’s Mars Meteorite Research team, brought a Mars meteorite (if memory serves, it was the Elephant Moraine meteorite), encased in a glass case filled with argon gas, and talked about where and how it was found and how they knew it was from Mars, etc. We thought it was super cool that we had to have a police presence in the room while the rock was on campus.

A lot of Earth Days have come and gone since then. My last year in the classroom, after having taught APES (Advanced Placement Environmental Science) classes for some time, my kids and I ended the year by canoeing down Village Creek, north of Beaumont, Texas. Many of those 90 high school juniors and seniors had never had the experience of being out in nature, away from a city. Some of them thanked me for the best school field trip they had ever been on. From some of their Facebook pages, I know that a number of them have since ventured back out into the natural world and have come to appreciate its beauty even more.

This year, I will spend as much of Earth Day as my orthopedic boot will allow, at our satellite “March for Science" events. So, I will leave you with the same advice that I gave to many, many teenagers through the years: “You may or may not be a John Muir, a Jane Goodall, a Dian Fossey, or a Jacques Cousteau. You might not ever make the national news, but if you work at making your corner of the world a better place and get those around you to do the same, it will spread, and in time, the whole world will be better.” Let's keep that as our goal. CW

Image

http://twistedsifter.com/2015/04/earth-day-gallery-by-nasa/

Sources

http://pantheonchemical.com/reduce-reuse-recycle/

https://www.marchforscience.com/

For ideas of things of you can do to participate in environmental community service:

http://bit.ly/2gKRaqt

[mermaidsirennikita]

You know how the other day u said that henry's power as a king was still limited, or something. the man went so far as to break away from the pope to get his own church and become his own pope. he did that so what are the limits of his power? he sure didn't put fitzroy on the throne but that's bc edward was born but imagine if he wasn't like he would have ended up choosing fitzroy as his heir, that's just my opinion but what do u think? the boy was a bastard sure but would it have stopped henry?

Respectfully, I do believe it would have.  Here’s the thing--Henry Fitzroy was dead by the time Edward was born, so the two don’t really intersect.  Rumblings about Fitzroy being put in the line of succession weren’t, from what I remember, long before Henry met Anne Boleyn, and once he became determined to marry her he assumed that she’d give him a son and thus the question was gone.

But even if he hadn’t married Anne--kings putting bastards on the throne was not done.  I can’t think of a time when it happened, but it could very well have happened at some point.  The idea of the line of succession being endangered by bastards is something that troubled higher ups in various countries throughout the centuries--for example, as late as the nineteenth century, when Czar Alexander II married his mistress and that resulted in the legitimization of their children.  But there was still this HUUUUGE divide between how the children of the Czar’s first wife (the Czarina) were treated compared to how the children of his second (morganatic) wife were treated.  Part of this, I’m sure, was due to the general anxiety this kind of behavior caused about the succession.  

Had Henry decided to go ahead and put Fitzroy on the throne in a country where women could inherit (even if they didn’t often) ahead of not only his legitimate, VERY blue-blooded daughter and his male relatives among the nobility, it would not have gone well.  I imagine that people would have revolted.  Spain probably wouldn’t have been thrilled, because Mary I was connected to the Spanish royals through her mother and would have been expected to show sympathy to them as queen (which she later would, marrying the king and all).  See, it wasn’t just Henry’s own nobles who kept him in check--he had to be careful about what he did in regards to other European rulers as well.  Yes, he broke from the church--but he did so with the help of men like Cromwell and Cranmer.  He didn’t do it alone, and when he did it took a long time.  That was in part thanks to the pope having power on his own, and in part thanks to Catholic monarchs not being super happy about it (especially Charles V, who was losing a Spanish connection to England when his aunt was set aside).  Then, you also have to throw into question all of the English nobles with some vague blood ties to royalty who would have, as legitimate family members, thought themselves preeminent over Fitzroy.  Wouldn’t have gone well, and I think Henry knew it.

Those are the limits of his power.  Henry made changes, sure, but he also failed in a lot of respects because there were other power players in his country and abroad.  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #90

“i’d rather die on my feet than live a life on my knees.”

what do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? heartbreak. what is your favorite bird? barn owls. i also love crows and ravens though because they're so smart. how would you like to die? in my sleep, but surrounded by family. i want them to actually know i'm dying so they don't have to deal with the sheer shock of just waking up to me dead. think of your last ten kisses, were they with the same person? no. do you think making out is slutty? no? will you cry at your wedding?  i can just about guarantee i will. how many wives or husbands do you want?  just one. what were you doing when you found out michael jackson was dead? i was swimming. would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake?  lake. what is your father's middle name? john. what's your favorite anime? "fullmetal alchemist." i like both iterations pretty much the same, both the original and "brotherhood." is there always going to be that one person you and a friend makes fun of? no. if you could live for a year with any foreign family, where would you go? germany! are you afraid of living alone? yes. i honestly don't think i could do it. what do you draw more than anything else?  meerkats. are you the type who is completely against abortion? why? fuck yes, because you will never get me to believe that a fetus is any more human after it's born. it's a human from the start. have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "johnny got his gun" by dalton trumbo, my favorite book. it didn't change my perspective, but it definitely heightened my pacifism. do you brag about being different than everyone else? no, because despite being very different, it embarrasses me. what do you think about william shakespeare’s work? he's great. what would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? i would legitimately cry. i would go into a huge depression if meerkats ever went extinct. what’s your name, anyways?  brittany. has anyone ever complimented you on how sweet you can be? yeah. what was the last brutally honest comment you made about someone? like a week ago. a friend of mine posted her fucking self-mutilation pictures on facebook and i called her out on that bullshit. you don't fucking do that. she's honestly a pretty childish person that contradicts herself constantly, but i care for her regardless. do you keep in contact with any of your ex-boyfriends/girlfriends? nope. how was your birthday this year? i was in a mental hospital. guess. lmao. would you like to have a pet horse? if i had a big enough property, definitely. have you read the entire harry potter series? i haven't read a single book. have you seen the deathly hallows? i think so... but i didn't pay attention to it. can you play the piano? no. can you read sheet music? i doubt i could anymore. do you enjoy poetry? absolutely. have you ever written a poem? lots since i was in the 6th grade. angsty shit lol how long is your hair? it's long. like to my shoulderblades, i think longer. do you like the band n*e*r*d? haven't heard of them. would you prefer cherry cola or vanilla cola? cherry coke. i don't like vanilla coke. what is your favorite cover your favorite band has done? "how?", "whiskey in the jar" what is your favorite farm animal?  pigs! do you like pictures that are considered “hipster” and “indie”? yeah. if you could rid the earth of one thing, what would it be?  rape. do you prefer germ-x or purell?  germ-x roses or daisies; which do you prefer?  roses. count to ten in another language. eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn do you like fedoras? i actually do. what's with the hate around them? what band/song reminds you of your childhood?  the backstreet boys. have you ever had a cherry martini?  no absinthe?  no. horchata? no. last time you went to the beach, who’d you go with?  colleen and chelsea. favorite flavor for a milkshake? vanilla smoothie?  mango. when was the last time someone saw you naked?  uhhh. i'm not sure. either my mom did or it's been so long that it was jason. what is the greatest loss you’ve endured?  jason where is your favorite place to have sex?  i haven't had sex before but i'd assume a bed? what is the “worst” drug you’ve done? are there any you will never try, or any you want to try?  uhhh, maybe alcohol? i've never done legitimate drugs. i mean xanax makes doctors p nervous to give out, and i was on that once, but i never abused it. where do you like to be kissed? multiple places? which uncle do you see the most of? uncle rob, mom's younger brother. do you have your family as friends on facebook? yes would you help your best friend hide a body? absolutely not. do you have depression?  i do, but it's finally efficiently being treated. what kind of humor suits you more - irony or sarcasm?  sarcasm, i think. so long it's not hateful. who is your favorite that 70’s show character? hyde and kelso! but i love eric too. did you enjoy middle school or did it suck? worst three years of my life. have you ever done anything with a guy that you now regret? i regret kissing one, but nothing crazy. if you were to dye your hair, what color would you dye it? i currently want galaxy hair. what is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all? i don't like like 99% of energy drinks. do you know someone who threatens to kill themselves?  all the time. but she does it in a way that is very obviously crying for attention, not support. would you ever completely dye your hair the color green? no. i don't like green in general, but especially as a hair color. do the people in your town speak like rednecks?  some do. what kind of pie do you like the best, if you like it at all?  i don't like pie. have you ever thought of making love in a dressing room?  no, sounds uncomfortable. what is your favorite movie of all time? burton's version of "alice in wonderland" what is your favorite restaurant to go in and eat at?  olive garden. are there any lamps on in the room that you’re currently in? a guitar lamp. salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? hmmm. salt & vinegar. have you ever died in one of your dreams?  i have. which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? fruity do you believe in demonic possession? how about ghosts? angels? i'm iffy with demonic possession. anything boys can do, girls can do better - agree or disagree? your gender doesn't determine how well you do anything. have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? no. has a stray dog ever tried to bite you?  no have you ever tried yoga?  yeah. lost 40 pounds doing it some years ago. do you like the font century gothic? sure. bulbasaur, charmander, or squirtle? charmander, of course. does it scare you that even after getting a college education that not even that can guarantee you a career?  it's fucking horrifying. do you own a lot of graphic tees, solid colored ones, or more so just tops?  tops and graphic tees. any specific movie that you wish you could have a love like? [ex: the notebook, allie and noah]   the notebook.  obviously.  but SPOILER, without the dementia END SPOILER. can you remember ever feeling like someone stole your idea or took credit for something that was your work? if not, can you remember a time when you introduced a friend to something and they sort of began acting like they know more about it than you?   it's happened multiple times to me. if you were to ever imagine getting married, do you think you have a lot of people that would invite to your showers and actual wedding? or is it more like you’d be inviting long-lost family members and hoping for the best?   i'd only invite close friends and family. regarding your current or former high school, what is something that you really felt your school was lacking or what is something you would change about your high school?   you couldn't do something as little as even hugging.  but besides that, our principal was fucking awful. choose a male friend of yours. will you please describe him in a way that might convince me he’d be a good person to date?  he's a totally intelligent nerd and remarkably loyal.  very funny. if I handed you a voucher for a free tattoo from a renowned tattoo artist, but it had to be redeemed within 24 hours, would you use it?   i'd fucking scream in joy and then do it immediately lol when you are at a place where people are dancing and people are seated/mingling, like a wedding reception, do you dance or do you remain standing/seated?   i stay seated. what is your favorite kind of chips?  hot cheetos do you own a pair of converses?   multiple. have you ever dated a ginger?   no. do you watch american horror story?  i used to. would you date someone you had a 16 year age difference with?   no. what is your sexuality?   hetero. do you like lana del rey?   not at all. do you think suits are sexy?   hell yeah.  i am openly a huge sucker for suits. do you have a livejournal?  no. have you ever been seduced? by whom?   sure, and a past boyfriend. what’s the third letter of your surname?   "u" have you ever attempted origami? are you good at it? do you enjoy it? what’s your favorite origami to make?   no. do you enjoy classic rock? if so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists?   classic rock takes up a good portion of my musical library.  so let's go through my favorites (i looked up a list so i don't miss any lmao): ac/dc, aerosmith, alice cooper, def leppard, guns n' roses, iron maiden, billy joel, judas priest (i consider them classic metal, but w/e, i'm going according to this list), motley crue, queen, and van halen.  this list also lists metallica and ozzy as classic rock, but stfu they're thrash and heavy/classic metal. do you get horny a lot?   actually, the longer jason and i have been broken up, i'm less horny. what gives you anxiety?   living.  lmao. do you think "bad romance" is a catchy song or an annoying one?   i honestly think it's catchy, but still very overplayed. could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle?   i have before. which song did you last listen to on repeat?   lol honestly?  "i just had sex" by the lonely island + akon because i, out of the total blue, remembered that song from when i was a teenager and started giggling.  wanted to relieve the good 'ole times when that song used to crack me and my friend the fuck up. is your mom or dad the older parent?   mom. have you ever received anesthesia or morphine?   morphine, yes.  and it didn't do jackhorseshit for me. does the world make people cruel or do people make the world cruel?   now that's a good question!  but i think the latter.  the world, after all, is just the planet on which we reside.  it, alone, can't be cruel.  it's people who create standards, rules, society itself, etc.  so people make the world cruel. are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up?   speak up. out of fire, earth, water, wind, light and dark, which element appeals the most to you?   DARKNESS what’s one thing that you wish was real?   i'm taking what the previous person answered: healing potions from games.  that would sure be helpful. what was one of your favorite songs as kid?   apparently, "dookie" by green day lol.  mom always tells me about the time when i was a baby and we were at a putt-putt course, and that song came on and i started screaming "dookie!" and danced.  ... i was an odd child.  i am grateful i have no recollection of this event lmao. how much do you elaborate in survey answers?  i try to elaborate the best i can to make things interesting. are you a private person?   usually. what does your sister's hair look like? if you don’t have a sister, how about brother?  talking about my two immediate sisters, they both have long, brown, gorgeous hair.  nicole just put blondeish highlights in it the other day.  i envy how great her hair always looks. ever taken a shower with someone?   not since becoming "mature."  as kids, nicole and i would shower together sometimes. how many pregnant people do you know?  none, i think. do you have a tolerance for snoring or does it drive you insane?  it drives me up a fucking wall are you by any means broken?  i don't think so anymore. (:  broken things can be fixed.  never repaired entirely, but, y'know. do you believe in astrology and horoscopes?   not at all. are you irish in any way?   yep. are you good with confrontations?   NO.  i start crying. should we consider cheerleading a sport?   i mean... i guess?  it's physical exertion. do you know anyone with diabetes personally?   my mom.  other family members.  it runs in the family. do you like orange soda?   orange cream soda, yes. anything you find creepy that others probably don’t?   whale sharks.  their mouths are just so fucking huge and i think of them swallowing people despite the fact their esophagus is much too small. have you ever liked anyone whose name started with a "j"?   i loved someone whose name started with a "j" who was the last person you kissed?   to my dismay, tyler. where did it happen?  my back porch have you heard of the band behemoth?  yes, but i haven't listened to them. do you even listen to metal in the first place?  yes, mainly heavy and thrash metal.  i'm also a pretty big symphonic metal fan, but i really need to find more bands... do you have a deviantart?   yes. is there anybody famous you’re obsessed with?  mark fischbach and link neal please save me from this life of squealing torture what was the last thing you took a break from?   "world of warcraft."  well, i didn't have much choice, really.  my laptop has to be fixed.  i haven't played in months. what're you currently hearing?   markiplier & tyler playing "undertale."  i've seen this playthrough before, but i wanted to watch it again.  i'm not big on undertale, but i love how my boys make it so funny. are you afraid of the dark?   no.  i mean sure, i'd be pretty uneasy if i was in the dark somewhere i didn't know, but i wouldn't necessarily be scared. do you like yourself?   i'm getting there! (: do you have any piercings or tattoos?  five piercings, four tats. how would you describe your style?   if i'm actually dressing for an occasion, i'm like a goth-geek mix.  if i'm just running out somewhere, it's sweats and a graphic tee. favorite desserts?  ice cream! if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?   the kalahari desert in south africa to photograph meerkats!! favorite horror movies?   "blair witch project 2: book of shadows" what are your parents’ names?   donna and kenneth/ken dark and dramatic makeup or natural makeup?  dark and dramatic, baby. satin or lace?  lace is sexy what’s something that fascinates you?  space.  coral reefs. favorite sea creature?  dolphins, whales, seahorses... do you drink alcohol?   very rarely.  not even once a month. weirdest fetish you’ve ever found out about and how?  the fetish of adults with diapers.  and deviantart.  would see drawings as such in groups and it would really fucking disturb me.  speaking of da, they need a fetish filter so fucking badly. if offered irreversible immortality, would you take it?   absolutely not. what is your favorite superpower? why?  metamorphosis because who wouldn't want that if you were a videogame character, what would your iconic weapon be?   bow and arrow your friend tells you that they are suicidal, and asks you not to tell anyone. is it more of a betrayal to tell someone, or to keep silent?  fuck it dude, i'm obviously telling someone.  that is a serious fucking matter.  i don't even consider that betrayal, that's called doing what's necessary to save a life. something that makes you smile?   mark fischbach. what’s your opinion on cinnamon rolls?   *intense drooling* would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race?  yeah. have you ever heard of the band ‘the black keys’?   i have.  mom's a fan, i think. was your hair a different color when you were a baby than it is, now?  yes.  as a baby, i had dirty blonde hair, but it gradually turned brown.  it's currently dyed, though. do you need it to be absolutely DARK in order to sleep? how about quiet?   as for dark, no actually.  i have a hard time sleeping when it's totally dark, because i don't like being unable to see.  but quiet, yes. would it bother you if someone else used your hairbrush?   if it was a stranger or i thought their hair was dirty, yes. is it ‘soda’ or 'pop’?  soda. have you ever been inside of a cave?   no, but i wish!  i looooove caves! what’s your comfort food?   ice cream. what do you use your cell phone for, besides texting and calling?   i have an app on there to track my period, and sometimes i'll use it to go online. what's the creepiest movie ever?   there is only one horror movie that even makes me remotely uncomfortable, and that's "the rite."  the concept of being pregnant with a demon is fucking horrific.  i don't believe anyone ever has been, but just the idea is awful. did you ever do something you promised yourself not to?   yeah. what’s the craziest color you've dyed your hair?   purple do you like paranormal stuff?   YEAH do you have a favorite stuffed toy?   a stuffed meerkat named rebel that my ex gave me. would you rather be hurt physically or emotionally?   physically. do you over-analyze things?   literally everything. what's your favorite food?   jalapeno pizza tops the list.  but i also love well-made hot wings and strawberries.  kiwi, too. what's the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in real life?   MOUNTAINS what's the best advice you’ve ever been given?   "deal with the past, or the past deals with you," probably. does vintage stuff appeal to you?   yeah! do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea?   of course i don't.  staying in a relationship you no longer want is foolish and only hurts you both way more than leaving. do you want to be taller or shorter?   i don't really care.  i'm content with my height. are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?   no.  his are brown. what do you want right this second?   i want hot fries lol are you one of those people who never drinks soda?   i feel like soda is such a loathed thing on the internet.  but no.  i drink soda. is your vision good?   no.  i have to wear glasses, and when i don't wear them, i can barely make out the second row on those vision test things with the big "e" have you ever slow danced with anyone?   yes. have you ever witnessed someone else engaging in a sexual act?   my sister's friend pretty intensely made out with her then-boy toy on our couch once while i was present. do you think it’s attractive for a man to wear eyeliner?   that shit makes me weak at the knees lmao have you ever been to the grand canyon?   no, but i wish! when's garbage day in your area?   we have to take our trash on our own to the dump here. do you know anyone who hates or dislikes chocolate?   my grandmother do you know anyone who's racist?   yes. do you have more girl friends or guy friends?   girls. have you ever hated yourself?   yes. did your parents ever ground you?   yeah. do you own an mp3 player of some kind?   i still have an old fucking ipod nano lmao.  that thing's been going for a looooong fucking time. are you or were you popular in high school?   definitely not.  i was a loner. what're three of your favorite TV shows?   "fullmetal alchemist," "that '70s show," "supernatural" do you like things vampire related?   sure, vampires are cool.  i never really liked the romanticized stories, though. are your nails currently long?   no.  they never are. have you ever been to las vegas?  no.  it's on the complete opposite end of the country. if you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck?   i'd be one of those people that inside is FREAKING THE FUCK OUT but would try sooo hard to stay chill. did/do you listen to britney spears songs?  as a kid i did. in the past week, have you ridden in a taxi?   i've never been in a taxi what shorthand do you use the most?  lol, omg, lmao are there any framed pictures in the room you’re in?   yes.  an exclusive promotional "silent hill: revelation" poster in japanese that i won in a giveaway. what show did you last watch?   "that '70s show," at least part of it. do you still make christmas lists?   yes, because mom asks me to.

[leaughrilke]

Superbabies: I wanna know about arguments in their household! What happens when Kara and Lena fight? What about if the kids fight with the parents? What about between the kids?

oh ho ho okay (i am quite literally rubbing my hands together bc ARGUMENTS R MY SHIT)

so like??  kara and lena dont ever rlly Fight, u know??  no big blow outs, particularly after the kids come along like they bicker sometimes and have deeper arguments but there’s no big blow up bc that’s not healthy and they know it, recognize it.  the few times they’ve had a Big Fight were p early in their relationship when lena was still sort of self-sabotaging and kara was sort of doing the same tbh but then they developed the ever helpful tool of ~healthy communication~ so when they argue, it’s usually p tame

that said, they DO fight sometimes and they dont like......go out of their way to hide it??  bc like its a reality of relationships, you argue sometimes, and they want their kids to see that it happens and that you still love each other at the end of them and they want them to see how to deal with relationship issues healthily??  that’s a big thing for lena tbh, bc she had to learn it all when she was an adult, never had any reference point for what a healthy long term relationship was supposed to look like until kara, rlly, so she rlly wants their kids to know what a solid, healthy, happy relationship looks like

so it usually goes down like this: whatever small disagreements they’ve been having (usually over the same subject or maybe a series of related topics) will kind of build up and then sometimes its kara that starts it by rolling her eyes when lena starts in on it or sometimes its lena snapping at kara but eventually it Starts and it will last for days at a time sometimes bc they both think they’re right or if they know they’re wrong, they’re not willing to admit it Right Then but anyway it will last for a while (their record is three weeks, it happened right after they found out lena was pregnant with finn, it was A Mess), but like??  they still love each other??  kara still makes lena’s coffee in the mornings and lena still picks up a pint of kara’s favorite ice cream bc she saw they were out the other day and like??  tbh thats what the kids take away from it most

but yeah, so they argue in front of the kids sometimes but they never let it get ugly, always know when to say we need to step away from this and come back later, so they will and they’ll cool off and they’ll resolve whatever it is they’re dealing with

and it’s mostly just background noise for the kiddos??  like they barely notice it bc their moms dont rlly act any different when they’re in the middle of a fight, like yeah maybe they’re not as gross as usually, maybe the kiddos dont walk in on their moms making out in the kitchen, but thats like??  it??

one of maia’s friend’s parents fight a lot, like loud screaming matches, and one time maia’s staying over when they get into it and she’s so shocked?? ?  like holy shit why are they yelling at each other

uh they’re fighting??  you said your moms fight sometimes

um yeah sort of

she goes home the next day and just hugs her moms like holy shit she never realized how good she and finn and stella have it, like she can’t imagine living with screaming matches every other day

catch the rest of this under the cut bc i just realized its super long, sorry @ mobile users

NOW WHEN THE KIDDOS FIGHT WITH THEIR MOMS??  strap in friend

so each kid has their own style of arguing with their moms??  and it varies between kara and lena too like maia fights with kara one way but lena another ANYWAY

so finn isnt v loud when he’s upset??  he rlly isnt and he shies away from the term fighting even, prefers disagreement instead, so like when (on v v few occasions) he gets into an argument with his moms, its always p quiet??  and usually resolved by the end of the day tbh like he’s one of those ppl that Cannot go to bed with shit left unresolved, he has a thing abt starting every day with a clean slate (this occasionally means some long nights)

like the biggest things he ever argues with kara abt are like his willingness to cover up whatever maia’s gotten up to and the fact that he is complicit in a lot of kind of shady stuff his sisters get up to when they kind of become vigilantes and he’s had a total of maybe two arguments with lena and both of them were during and about his one rebellious phase where he broke curfew a few times and gave his moms some scares by letting his phone die bc he was feeling ~reckless~

his arguments with kara tend to last p long??  like days/weeks sometimes bc they are rlly a lot alike but in different ways??  like finn has a slightly narrowed moral compass i guess, where he can excuse what his sisters do bc theyre his sisters and they’re doing whatever it is for good reason but kara’s like??  no it’s still dangerous and not well planned and also illegal but neither of them ever yell (quite honestly kara and lena have like never yelled at their kiddos except when they’re in imminent danger??) but they dont rlly raise their voices so there’s just a lot of stony silence until someone (usually stella) sort of shoves finn’s shoulder and says you dont have to defend us, what we did was fucked up or approaches kara and is like hey, dont be angry with him

and then when he goes to apologize or she comes to him they both end up crying.  listen, they’re a soft ass family ok tears happen A Lot

the two times finn has argued with lena were both v short, happened v late at night bc she stayed up until he came home and both included the phrase (from finn) i get to be a kid too, you know and both times that final phrase made lena stop dead and just.  give up??  like god, he’s right, he’s taken on a lot of responsibility in their family, so lena just sort of gathers him up and hugs him rlly tight and is like we’ll talk about extending your curfew but please don’t ever scare your mother and i like that ever again and finn is like ???  ok???  

for sure figured he was getting grounded for weeks but instead he ended up with an extended curfew and like........one weekend of being grounded 

MAIA OH MY GOD maia fights with kara a lot when she’s older, bc she has like??  a v different moral code i guess like do no harm but take no shit kind of goes out the window, like maia’s taken this stance that the second u threaten her ppl, she’s well within her rights to beat your ass and she with lena she argues a lot during this one earlier period in her life where she gets into some bad situations and lena’s like ???  sweetheart what are you doing and maia’s sort of like GOD I CAN MAKE MY OWN CHOICES IM MATURE and lena’s trying v hard not to let it turn into a fight but, well, maia is trying v hard to turn it into a fight

so like her arguing with kara tends to happen more as maia’s an adult tbh and it sometimes escalates to full yelling bc at a certain point she becomes kara’s colleague at the deo and when she does stupid shit, she’s endangering a lot of ppl, including her siblings and her moms and herself 

meanwhile she fights with lena a lot as a teenager over stupid shit rlly like it’s not always abt deep shit but when it is it gets rlly uncomfortable bc lena hates arguing with her kids, she does, and maia’s not like finn, won’t ever get to the heart of why she’s angry at lena so it’s just??  it’s messy and bad and lena makes sure that maia’s left the house before she starts crying and maia makes sure she’s well out of the city before she starts crying and finn and stella and kara usually run damage control for them bc otherwise they’d be in this holding pattern of just sort of being like we’re okay.......for NOW and then having more and more arguments bc they never get to the heart of the matter and yeah, maia feels rlly guilty when she’s older abt how she treated lena as a teenager

and there have been times where she fights with both her moms at the same time, like there’s this period in her life (like around her sophomore/junior year of high school??) where she gets into a p bad situation that she refuses to let her moms know abt so they only see her cutting class and her grades falling and her like yelling at her siblings so they sit her down abt it and it results in several Big Arguments that end p badly and damage everyone’s trust for a little while bc now kara and lena are like??  holy shit what is she into???  and maia feels like her moms dont ~understand~ even though they legitimately would if she would just tell them whats going on and she feels like she can’t tell them so it’s a Mess for a while

stella refuses to argue with her moms.  she just Wont do it.  she rlly kind of refuses to fight with anyone she cares abt bc she can feel what they feel and that fucks with how she feels and idk it’s weird, sometimes other ppls emotions influence her or sometimes her emotions influence others.  bc of that, she tries to avoid it if she can but obviously it happens sometimes

this is her MO; she never lets it turn into a real argument, she’ll just like.....walk into room with whichever mom she’s irritated with or both if that’s the situation and just be v blunt like im angry that you wouldnt let me go out with ari last night and then she retreats before they can say anything else.  then, probably a couple hours later, she comes back and says another thing like it wasn’t fair because you let finn do the same thing and i feel like you treat me differently than him or maia and then retreats.  and then FINALLY  she’s kind of gotten a hold on her own emotions and feels like she’ll actually be able to speak with her moms without losing control and then its not even an argument so much as a debate rlly

like the weird stop start pattern is how she has to go about it so she knows that no one’s emotions are influencing anyone else’s???  like that way she knows she’s not making kara or lena angrier and she knows that they’re not making her any angrier, that whatever they bring to the table is their own

her moms thinks its rlly cute and also theyre rlly sad that she has to like.....live like this??  like she’s so terrified of ever taking away someone’s free will that she’ll just drag out a highly uncomfortable experience (stella Hates confrontation and, if given the opportunity, would probably just get it all done and over with in one go but sadly that is not an option for her) just to make sure she’s not doing anything wrong irt other ppl

she tends to argue with kara more??  bc thats who, in general, does actually treat her a bit differently bc she’s the one that’s like painfully aware that stella’s not kryptonian.  like and that’s not a problem obviously!!  kara loves her just the same as she loves finn and maia but it’s just scary for kara bc there’s a certain level of comfort in knowing finn and maia are stronger and faster and virtually invulnerable, and it’s terrifying that her youngest, tiniest child isnt.  like even just physically??  stella is so much smaller than her siblings and that’s just like a visual representation of their differences and its scares kara so so much every time stella walks out the door.  so she’s the one that generally is like hey maybe wear flats, you dont want to break your ankle or you cant go out in this weather, you’ll catch your death and stella’s like ???  you dont treat maia and finn like theyre babies and she gets rlly angry abt stuff like that bc she knows she’s different??  but she doesnt like getting reminded 

her arguments with lena arent even arguments like they rlly are essentially debates over rlly small insignificant stuff, like it rarely gets heated, feelings are never hurt.  that said, she’s had like one Major argument with lena and thats like when stella starts doing her own vigilante shit, like learns jiu jitsu and krav maga and gets maia’s best friend beth (a tech genius interning at l-corp) to help her with the gadgetry and lena’s the first to find out and she’s like No, no you’re not doing this, this isn’t safe and stella’s like technically i am an adult so yeah i am doing this and its more a battle of wills??  like there’s no out and out confrontation but it’s a weird few months until there is

NOW WHEN THE KIDDOS FIGHT

they rlly dont fight that much but usually its between finn and maia, with stella and their moms playing peace maker/referee.  like.....thats their dynamic, their built in system.  finn and maia’s inherent morality go against each other like at nearly every turn bc finn is such a pacifist and maia rlly rlly isnt, like even from when they were little that was like the main source of conflict for them

like finn always feels like he needs to go along with whatever maia’s up to just to minimize damage??  keep collateral damage low, u know??  and maia’s fine with that, likes having her brother with her as back up, likes not feeling so alone in her rage, but he’s kind of useless help, always standing behind her and telling her to leave it, walk away, it’s not worth it but like it fucking is??  to her???  

they do get into screaming matches sometimes.  like......they’ll fly up out of sight of the city and just rip into each other and whenever they come back home, they just will not look at each other for a while.  and stella’s left adrift bc they’re some of her favorite ppl and holy shit, what if this is the fight that rlly breaks them all apart??  so she runs between them, trying for damage control, but she’s not v good at it bc she’s way too invested, soaks up all their emotions like a sponge and comes away from it worse for wear

and like kara and lena are always on top of the situation, u know??  like they may not always know what their kiddos are fighting abt bc their arguments tend to wander to different things so what they may hear abt may not be what started it, but they always know when they’re fighting and usually they’ll each take on one of them to talk to, exchange notes, make a plan, help them figure out a compromise

and best yet, they know when sometimes they just need to step back and let them work it out for themselves???  like they know when to back away and when to pull stella away bc, bless her, she’s still desperately trying to fix everything bc its wildly uncomfortable for her whenever there’s tension in the house, so sometimes the best thing is just to distract her with other stuff and let finn and maia work whatever it is out between themselves (and they always do like, at the end of the day, they love each other a lot and rlly arent ever abt to let anything come between them)

on the occasions that stella’s ever fighting with someone, it’s usually maia and its usually that theyre both kind of jealous of the other??  like maia is everything stella wishes she was, all tall and gorgeous and smart and kryptonian but stella isnt angry all the time, doesnt have this rage eating away at her, can live her life without wanting to put holes in walls every day and so they get jealous of the other and the get irritated and they get fucking angry and maia’s so angry, stella can’t help but absorb some of that, even if she’s being careful

they mostly fight during high school??  like thats when its just the two of them in the house, after finn’s off at college, that’s when there’s no buffer between them and that’s when stella so desperately wants to be like her big sister, that’s when maia doesnt want to have to take over for finn as stella’s protector, wants to live her own life for once goddammit

and like???  it’s kind of out of nowhere.  like kara and lena dont see it coming but one day kara hears maia screaming and is like fuck and flies home and is like ????  when its just her and stella, red faced and breathing hard and stella looks like she’s on the verge of tears and maia looks as if she wants nothing more than to just leave and she tries to play peace maker but it only seems to make it worse bc both girls feel like she’s taking the other’s side and they both storm off and kara’s still just sort of ??????  what the actual fuck ???

they dont fight often, but they do actually play dirty bc they both know where to poke and prod and press to hurt the most and they rlly dont ever Truly work through it until they’re like full grown adults, like stella’s in college and maia’s grown and living in opal city and stella calls her when she’s like real fucking wasted and is like hoooooly shit we’re fucked up maia, we’re real shitty to each other??  but we shouldnt be because i love you, i love you so much and i miss you and did you know jungle juice is really strong???  its so strong maia.  maia did i tell you i love you because i do a lot

maia’s sort of freaked out by the confession/apology and she’s freaked out by the way stella’s slurring her words and she almost just calls kara to go get her but this is her baby sister and she called her??  she called maia, not finn, not kara, not lena, she called maia, so maia grabs a comfy sweater and hauls ass to stella’s university and just bundles her baby sister up and gives her a lot of water to drink and stays with her that night and helps her with her hangover the next day and stella’s sort of shocked she came (stella also doesnt rlly remember her phone call but u know, semantics) but then maia hangs around until stella’s like a little less hungover and she makes them dinner and is like so, we should talk and then they do !!  and they actually finally are truthful with one another, finally say what they mean and its rlly good and stella’s so so happy bc she has her big sister back and maia’s over the fucking moon like she missed stella so much, remembers when they were little and she would braid stella’s hair and show her how to balance on a skateboard 

[richincolor]

GROUP DISCUSSION TIME!

The Hate U Give: Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend, Khalil, at the hands of a police officer. Khalil was unarmed.

Soon afterward, Khalil’s death is a national headline. Some are calling him a thug, maybe even a drug dealer and a gangbanger. Starr’s best friend at school suggests he may have had it coming. When it becomes clear the police have little interest in investigating the incident, protesters take to the streets and Starr’s neighborhood becomes a war zone. What everyone wants to know is: What really went down that night? And the only person alive who can answer that is Starr.

But what Starr does—or does not—say could destroy her community. It could also endanger her life.

K. Imani: The title comes from a quote by Tupac who said Thug Life stood for “The Hate U Give Little Infants F*** Everybody.” I had never heard that quote before and found it very interesting. As the novel progressed and the meaning of Thug Life became more and more evident, I found it to be extremely profound. And a true statement of our times, especially since the election there has been a rise in hate crimes. Children of color are bearing witness to hate against them and I can only imagine what will happen when they come of age and discover the power of their voice like Starr does.

Crystal: I too hadn’t heard of this particular quote, but it resonated with me. It made me think of the many ways that Black children are seeing and experiencing hate in our country. Tupac had some wisdom there. It only seems logical that sowing hate will bring negatives for everybody.

Audrey: It was also my first time hearing that quote, but it is a powerful sentiment and a perfect distillation of the themes in THUG. I loved how it kept coming back into the story and how Starr’s relationship to it changed as she watched the fallout of Khalil’s murder in her family, her community, and the surrounding city. The hate played out differently across the characters, but there was no question that it made things worse for everyone all around.

K. Imani: One aspect of the novel I loved is that Starr had a relationship with her parents. We learn early that her parents are very frank with her, specifically having given her “The Talk” (not the sex talk, the one all Black kids get about dealing with the police) at a young age, and even shows when her 8 year old brother receives The Talk. It is because of this talk/relationship with her parents that Starr initially stays relatively calm when she and Khalil are pulled over. I like how Thomas revealed the different parts of The Talk by having her think of her father’s words as she encountered the hostile police officer. I know many Black folk who go through the same process when pulled over, especially these days when one never knows how their encounter will end up. I think we’re all Starr in that moment.

Jessica: Speaking of The Talk - I didn’t notice until later in the book that even though Starr did everything “right” when she and Khalil were pulled over, just like her parents told her, it wasn’t enough. The policeman pointed his gun at her as well. She points that out to her parents, and they understood instantly. So many people question who Khalil was, whether he had it coming, and so on, but Starr’s parents are steadfast in their understanding of the reality of the situation - that nothing justified his killing.

Crystal: I really appreciated the adults in the story and the relationships Starr had with them. Starr’s parents showed that they loved their children and were going to hold them to high standards because of that love. Their rules and consequences are reasoned decisions based on love and a desire to do what’s best for their kids. The humor and respect they show sure add another great element too. They had a beautiful relationship they were sharing and modeling for their kids. It was also good to see Starr’s uncle and his role in her life. It added another layer to the story to see how he had stepped in for her family when she was young and to see events from a Black police officer’s perspective.

Audrey: I loved Starr’s parents. Thomas gave me a glimpse through them--and Starr’s reactions to them and their advice--about what other people’s experiences are in America. It was heartbreaking when her little brother got pulled aside for The Talk, but I appreciated seeing that their parents had to make that call not because any eight-year-old is an actual threat to anyone but because we live in a world where they, as good parents, must give their children as much information and advice as they can to help keep them safe. Starr going through The Talk in her head when she and Khalil got pulled over made me very aware of all the small things that could--and did--go wrong. And it made the second awful encounter with the police later on all the more terrifying because of the possibility it could happen again.

There were a lot of good adults in Starr’s world, and I appreciated how Thomas took the time to demonstrate how they could have different perspectives and disagreements about how things should play out. They could fight with one another and still be united in the desire to do what was best for their families and communities. It was wonderful to see that depth and breadth in the characters.

K. Imani: Yes, I so agree with you Audrey. A common YA trope is to have absent parents & adults, so I’m glad that Thomas filled the novel with with so many important and loving examples of parent/child, uncle/niece, sibling, in-law relationships. All of them really showed how inter-connected many families, and communities, truly are and that when one hurts, the entire family hurts.

K. Imani: Another theme that was so strong in T.H.U.G is the concept of code switching that Blacks who move in primarily White spaces have. As one who grew up usually one of the few Black children in school, I fully connected with Starr here. She states, “That means flipping the switch in my brain so I’m Williamson Starr. Williamson Starr doesn’t use slang - if a rapper would say it, she doesn’t say it, even if her white friends do.” This duality that many Black people live with is exhausting, but not really talked about. I felt like being with Starr as she struggles to maintain “Williamson Starr” while dealing with her grief, her PTSD, and the tension in the community from Khalil’s death was an original way to show the inner turmoil many Black people experience from having to code switch.

Audrey: As a biracial Latina who wasn’t taught Spanish and grew up speaking like the white side of my family, I don’t have personal experience in code-switching, but I was exhausted for Starr as she had to flip the switch back and forth repeatedly. It took so much effort for her to maintain “Williamson Starr” while at school or around her school friends. Her repeated reminders to herself about not wanting to come across as the Sassy/Angry Black Woman or as “ghetto” made me upset and angry on her behalf--and was a potent reminder about how damaging stereotypes are. Starr struggled with her PTSD and grief and conflicts with her community, but she had to bottle so much of it up in the Williamson Starr side of her life because she didn’t want to mess up the image of herself she had built there. How much better off would Starr have been if she felt free to fully express herself at Williamson?

K. Imani: A few years ago I taught an article about PTSD in children who experience violence and I think exploring Starr’s PTSD from seeing the murder of her friend, especially at the hand of a policeman, reminds me of it. The article explains that children who experience trauma, who see family and friends murdered, experience PTSD at almost the same rate as war veterans. I’m so glad that Thomas has Starr experience PTSD, triggered whenever she’s around police officers, because witnessing Khalil’s murder is so traumatic. The way Starr’s PTSD manifest felt very real and true to life.

Audrey: I’m glad that Thomas included Starr’s PTSD and demonstrated all the ways it was present in her life. Too often mental health issues are swept under the rug for minority communities, and it’s important to see characters who deal with them. Especially a black teenage girl, since stereotypes about black woman frequently center on very specific types of “strength” that don’t allow for mental illness or emotional vulnerability. The PTSD seemed to be handled well to me, but I would love to read a review of T.H.U.G. from a black reviewer who has PTSD to get their thoughts.

Jessica: Ditto what Audrey said regarding reviews.

K. Imani: Let’s talk about Starr’s and Chris’s relationship, specifically how it was presented and the inner conflict Starr felt about having the relationship. Having Starr be in an interracial relationship truly added another layer to the narrative of THUG, and one that is often not addressed much in stories where interracial relationships exists. The challenges the couples face are usually very surface, but Starr deals with some serious identity issues because of their relationship, and trust issues, especially after Khalil’s murder.

Audrey: I really appreciated how Thomas didn’t shy away from showing some of the conflicts of interracial relationships. (My family has some nasty stories about future in-laws flipping out when they found out who their children had fallen in love with.) The struggles Starr faced through the book as she reexamined her relationship with Chris demonstrated how difficult forging and maintaining that kind of relationship could be. It was also an excellent contrast to Starr’s friendship with Hailey, who refused to believe she could be wrong or that Starr’s POV and feelings and experiences were valid.

Crystal: Starr felt comfortable with Chris because she could be herself with him. She didn’t do as much code switching with him as with the others at her school. She still kept many things hidden from him though. Thomas really did a great job showing Starr’s decision making there and letting readers know that these decisions weren’t made lightly. Chris and Starr have a lot to work through beyond the typical dating issues that come up between teens. Some of their conversations around race show that even Chris is operating under some biases though he is open to learning.

K. Imani: I agree with you Crystal that Thomas did an excellent job of making Starr and Chris’s relationship complex and that the decisions they make apart and together are done with careful thought. It is clear that there is mutual respect and love for each other based on their personalities and mutual likes.

Audrey: One of the small things later in the book that made me really happy was how Maya and Starr formed a “minority alliance” and promised each other that they wouldn’t let Hailey get away with saying any more racist stuff to them again. That moment of self-reflection from Starr, about how she needed to have a voice and stand up for others, too, was wonderful, especially since both she and Maya followed up on their pledge to back each other up. It was great to watch them come together and be allies for each other.

K. Imani: That moment! I almost forgot about that, this novel has so much. I’m, again, thankful for the way Thomas chose to write Hailey because a lot of people think racists are the evil mustache-twirly villains of old, and not realize that they harbor their own racist beliefs until they are called on it. Hailey is a character that I think will make folks uncomfortable but also be able to use her antics to take a good look at themselves and make a change. I was proud of the girls banding together and standing up to her because they realized they were also part of the problem, but now by having each others back they can invite change.

Jessica: Just a sidenote… was super psyched to see that Maya was Taiwanese! And the little details about her that were linked to being Taiwanese - spending breaks in Taipei, her last name, etc.

Getting back to the topic, I’m struck by how many threads were running through the book - the different family and friend dynamics, neighborhood life, the protests, coping with trauma, and relationships. There is so much going on, but it all links together and just fits. Sometimes, I think books will try to tackle current events and topics, and will struggle to make everything work in a way that doesn’t sound like an after-school special, but THUG succeeds where an awful lot of other books flounder.

I know THUG hit #1 on the NYT bestseller list (woo!), is getting a movie, and is basically enjoying some well-deserved success. Given that it’s on the path to being the next “everyone and their mother is reading this book” kind of novel, I’m definitely curious to see how people directly involved in the organizing (and leading? I guess ‘leaders’ is kind of a false concept in grassroots movements) of the Black Lives Matter movement react to this book. Or maybe they’ve already read this book, and I just haven’t dug into the reception of THUG enough.

Also, I’m way excited for Book 2! Aaaah!

Crystal: I had to go verify this second book you mention. Yes! In a recent interview, A.C. Thomas implies that it’s more of a companion book set in the future a bit, but still, I too am super excited to read more.

K. Imani: What? There is a second book? Woo-hoo!!! Thanks Crystal for the link to the article. I’m sure everyone who has read “The Hate U Give” or has yet to read it (what are you waiting for) is excited to hear that news! Clearly we all loved “The Hate U Give” , now tell us what you thought of Thomas’s best selling debut novel.

[barreragraham90]

Reiki Healing Real Wondrous Cool Ideas

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Learn Reiki In Rishikesh

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[shweoak]

Ah... the plot thicken. 

Is that a hundred and twentieth salvo or a hundred and thirtieth salvo? I have lost count of the number of times Myanmar military has tried to assassinate Aung San Suu Kyi. 

Of course, I have no idea who threw the petrol bomb and which association the thrower is associated with but I speculate like most of Myanmar people will that this is the act of thuds hired by Myanmar military. 

I feel that I can see the plot now. One stipulation of Myanmar military’s ceding all power to democratically elected government is the stability of the country. As long as Myanmar is unstable, military will continue to have 25% of parliament seats and continue to retain two very important ministries -- Ministry of Defense and Ministry of Home Affairs and Border Affairs -- under military command. Aung San Suu Kyi and her government command neither military nor police but they have tried their best to curb them. 

So it is in the best interest of Myanmar military to destabilize the country as much as it can. They had been searching for an opportunity to destabilize the country. To that end they had abetted Buddhist hardliners and started faith-based riots. They had opened war with Kachin. They had assassinated U Ko Ni in broad daylight in front of many people. 

Unfortunately, nothing they did  seem to stick and cause all out countrywide riot or deviate peace process in Myanmar. Suddenly, Rohinga case fell on their lap. That was like a boon to Myanmar military. They planned, plotted, executed, and succeeded in undermining the people elected civilian government. They had become protector of people and faith. 

That is not enough for Myanmar military though. They could do a military coup but they would not go down that path again. They had experienced what sanctions did to them (not to Myanmar people as they have little care for people of Myanmar). They want to be back in power so that they could line their pockets again. Sanctions would defeat that purpose. They need to do a legitimate coup. They need to be able to come into power as the good guys. They need the world to see them as savior.

There is still one person standing between them and their goal of seizing the power. That is Aung San Suu Kyi. Because of her and her government, the military can no longer line their pocket or do whatever they want lawlessly like they used to.

People seem to forget during this Rohinga crisis that Aung San Suu Kyi has sacrificed more than twenty years of her life -- including her freedom and her family and sometimes endangering even her own life -- fighting for people of Myanmar with little or no hope of succeeding or ever gaining freedom. 

Myanmar people do not forget her sacrifice. She was the beacon of our hope under the military regime. She was the catalyst that propel Myanmar to finally have a democratic government. 

We are thankful for what she did and continue to do for us. We might not always agree with her methods or strategies but when she leads we will follow regardless for we have faith that she wants what is best for Myanmar and she will do everything in her power to strive for what is best for Myanmar. We have faith that, for her, power is just a mean to an end and not something to be exploited for self enrichment. For those reasons, we love and revere her. 

Her being assassinated will definitely embroil Myanmar in turmoil. If Myanmar military were to produce a Rohinga as the bearer of the mean that kill her, what you see now will be nothing compare to what will happen then. 

I feel that the situation will be a repeat of 1988. Myanmar military will not immediately seize power. They will wait for a few months until the unrest reached its peak. Terrible things will happen during those months. Lawlessness will become rampant in Myanmar. 

I remembered stories of people being beheaded during 1988 uprising for nothing more than being suspected as a spy of socialist government. I remembered my father taking a turn for night guard duty for our block for fear of being rob or attack during the night because we lived in government housing and all people living in our block were government officers. At that time, we could only rely on our neighbors to protect us. It was a time of lawlessness. Police and military were there but they did nothing and just watched the lawlessness descended in Myanmar. Then Myanmar military declared martial law and seized the power. They had styled themselves as saviors of Myanmar.

Just like 1988, Myanmar military will wait until lawlessness reached crescendo and swoop in to seize the power. Saviors of Myanmar, that is what they will be. 

It was the plot they had followed during 1988. They will use the same plot again as they have very little imagination.

I pray that Aung San Suu Kyi is safe and free from harm. I pray that this time the plot comes out with a different outcome.

I pray.